#I’m just so physically and mentally exhausted and done with this week

[bass-alien]

.

[chocum]

COMING DOWN !

— bunched up, sweet little whimpers, he always gets so sensitive under your touch feat. choso kamo

WARNINGS. femreader (she/her) x goodguy!cho :3 mentions of violence/death, sub cho, dom reader, overstimulation, begging, blowjob, premature ejaculation ;( crying + 1.2k wc note. i’m so insane abt choso it’s actually scary, he’s all i think about. tysm for all the support on my first post. love u all! feedback + reblogs are appreciated! also art by @/swag_yay on x. ty again & enjoyyy ᡣ𐭩

choso hated missions with a passion that pierced his very soul.

his cursed energy manipulation and combat skills are unrivaled, making him crucial to a mission’s success, but the relentless nature of them drained him beyond words— both mentally and physically.

they feel so repetitive: eliminate curses, protect civilians, prevent damage. eliminate curses, eliminate curses, eliminate.

he has always been driven by a deep desire to protect everyone he could, especially those who were unable to do so themselves, but the constant cycle of violence and death confused him—wrestling with self-doubt, doing mental gymnastics, trying to justify his actions. the cognitive strain became a heavy burden that compounded during missions, further exhausting him like heavy buckets of water dousing an already flickering flame.

and after meeting you — his sweet, sweet girl — his hatred for missions only grew.

the ache of missing you constantly gnawed at him. your homey scent. your taste still fresh on his tongue, preventing him from concentrating because, in his mind, he’s still tangled in your sheets, stealing sweet kisses that linger on his lips long after they’ve left yours.

when out scouting, he would catch glimpses of couples hand in hand in the streets sporting deep smiles, making his stomach twist— his brows pinching together, deepening the ridge between them.

his sole solace was the thought of returning home to his pretty girl once everything was over— it pushes him to keep going, to keep fighting, even avoiding shoko because he preferred your clumsy little hands to patch him up.

finally done with his latest three-week mission — a seeming eternity away from you — he was being driven to your place, to you, home.

head lolling back against the car seat, he spreads his legs wider, rolling his hips to adjust himself, before sinking, letting the leather seat swallow him whole. he tilts his head to the side, deep purple irises flickering, to watch the familiar scenery— large leafy trees crowding the darkening highway under evening skies.

after he waved his goodbyes, giving thanks to his driver, he stumbled up to the door, his fingers fumbling awkwardly with the keys underneath the dim light of the porch. on the other side, the distinct sound of the lock clicking open causes you to bolt up, rushing to greet him.

he pushes it open and there you are. looking up at him with that big smile he adores so much lighting your face— pretty eyes sparkling with relief. you squeal and fling your arms around him without hesitation and he does the same, burying his face into the side of your neck, feeling your hair brush against him, inhaling deeply.

you always smelled so good— a blend of your natural scent and hints of vanilla from your body wash. he’s been craving that scent for so long, growing dizzy now that it finally embraces him, his body falling limp, so weak in your smaller arms.

you pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, fingers gently tracing the smooth lines on his face— lines that seemed deeper since you’d last seen him.

“i missed you so much” you hummed faintly as he cupped your face, nuzzling your warm cheeks against his rough hands.

“i missed you so much more”

he leaned down to find your lips. they felt so much softer than he remembered. kissing you deeply, his calloused hand cradling the back of your neck, drawing you closer into the warmth of his embrace.

and when you moan against him— oh, it sounds so sweet, the blood rushing to his cock so quickly. next thing he knows, he’s rutting against your thigh, pressing against you so, so desperately, almost mounting you.

“what’s wrong cho?” a soft whine escapes him at the sudden loss of contact, “tell me, baby, use your words”

“i’m sorry,” he breathes, a pretty blush crawling up his neck, “just missed you so much— got excited”

“i know, my pretty boy, but ‘m here now, okay? let me take care of you. i know you missed it.” you take his hand, drawing him to your room as he follows obediently, shutting the door behind him, “did you touch yourself without me?”

he shakes his head, his fluffy hair cascading down to rest on his shoulders. “you .. you told me not no”

“good boy”

you push against his shoulders, gently guiding him to sit on the bed, his breath hitching so sweetly watching you lift yourself to straddle his waist. connecting your lips once more, hips grinding against him so slowly— rocking back and forth. his mouth now tinted pink and tenderly swollen from your ardent kisses, you move down to his neck planting a trail of light ones along the sensitive skin, each touch eliciting subtle little quivers and soft exhales. his fists bunch up the sheets, he—

“sorrysorrysorry” he babbles breathlessly— endlessly, his pants turning damp, material darkening as his cock twitches and pulses so cutely, cum drooling out his sensitive slit, “just feel so good against me. been so long. couldn’t even touch myself when you sent those pictures. it’s so sensitive”

“shhhh ‘s okay, cho.” a finger pressed against his pout— pushing its way in for him to suckle on warmly before you slide down to your knees. trailing your hands down his thighs, tugging on the hem of his pants, “i’ll clean you up”

he’s still so hard— his tip blushing, crying white cream, and when you take him in your hands, his hips jerk up for you— body still coming down from his high and you’re already taking him in your mouth, cruelly, licking fat stripes up his twitchy length.

“fuck ‘s too much baby, i just- wai, wait, please.” he’s pawing at you, pushing against your head, but he sounds too cute, crying and whimpering around you for you to stop— looks too cute with the prettiest pink blush shrouding his body from the tips of his heated ears to his curled toes.

you gargle and gag around his cock— exaggerating the sounds because you know it drives him insane. he loves when you get so nasty and messy for him, foamy spit bubbling around where his cock plugs your mouth up. your hands move to cup his warm balls, caressing and squeezing gently, coaxing him to cum for you again.

“ah f- baby, i’m so fucking— please. wanna cum for— you. gonna be so good, gonna—”

he cums salty, thick stripes straight down your warm throat with a whine so pretty you wish it was recorded so you could play it over and over and over.

and he’s crying— it’s too much, feels too good — sweetly hiccuping, sniffing as he hides his face behind his hands. such a pretty boy. he’s growing limp in your mouth and you pull off with a whine before kissing up his shaky legs.

“did so good for me, cho, missed having you like this” lightly moving his hands to pet at his damp cheeks, watching keenly how he leans into your touch, wiping pretty doll-like tears with your thumbs.

knowing that he has you to take such good care of him once he’s home will forever ease his mind while he’s away, a comforting thought that lingers like a soft embrace, even in your absence.

[monachopsis-11]

I just saw such a great disability term I personally haven’t ever seen before and I wanted to share it with everyone so here it is:

Usable hours, aka the amount of hours a day someone has where they can carry out tasks (school, work, showering, cooking, household tasks, being out of bed etc.)

I don’t know why but this feels so revolutionary to me 😂

If I’m honest it changes a lot for me but on average I can manage 4-5 whereas a healthy person might have 10-12 usable hours. Otherwise I’m sitting on the couch scrolling and watching YouTube or resting in bed.

Some days I can handle more and sometimes a lot less depending on how much I’ve done previously that week/month etc. It also depends a lot on the type of tasks, I manage mental tasks pretty well and typically write a decent amount but physical tasks exhaust me much more quickly.

I know this is a lot more than some people but instead of focusing on that I’m trying to focus on how much less it is than a healthy person. Having half as much time in a day I can be functional as the average person and during that time I’m still exhausted/in pain/having symptoms/struggling in ways an abled person wouldn’t.

[tlou-reid]

Cardigan ❤︎ Spencer Reid

♡ SUMMARY: spencer is finally home and all fem!reader wants is to be close with him (i picture this as season 9 reid but you do you)

♡ WARNINGS: smut, unprotected piv (be safe!) , ass slapping, fluffy smut, spencer being a cutie, showering together, not edited, 18+ minors dni

—♡

Spencer could’ve sworn you could hear his heavy footsteps as he made his way up the apartment building’s stairs. He had called you a few hours ago and let you know that they were finally loading up the jet to go home. After an excruciating, exhausting, and downright horrendous case all Spencer wanted to do was go home to you.

You couldn’t help yourself from making your way to the kitchen after hanging up with Spencer. It wasn’t that you felt the need to cook for him; he was a grown man, he could do it himself if he wanted food. But it was an act of love. After being away for almost two weeks and nothing but fast food and vending machine snacks, you knew he’d appreciate a warm, home cooked meal.

You heard the keyhole in the door turn as you sat his plate on the dining room table. You made your way to the door to be able to greet him as soon as he came in. The grin that spread across your face as he opened the door quickly faded as you saw the deep dark circles under his eyes. He looked so, so tired. Your heart fell, knowing he must have had an awful two weeks.

“Spence,” you said lovingly, reaching for his shoulders. His body instantly relaxed as you rubbed the tension out of his body. He stood in the doorway as your hands slid from his shoulders down his chest. Your hands followed the buttons of his purple cardigan down, undoing them as you went. Neither of you said anything, just allowing your actions to convey how much you missed him, how much you loved him, and how much you hoped he was feeling okay.

When his cardigan was fully unbuttoned your hands traced back up to his shoulders, helping him take it off. You grabbed his hand, lightly tugging him inside and setting his cardigan on the arm of the couch, him shutting the door as you did so. Still silent, you led him to the table by his hand, pulling his chair out and allowing him to sit.

Your hand ran through his hair before you leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead. Spencer’s eyes fell shut as your lips pressed against his skin. “You okay?” You spoke softly. Spencer just nodded, reaching towards to wrap his hands around your waist. His dinner plate was forgotten, but he made a mental note to thank you for the gesture later, as he pulled you into his lap. “Rough week,” was all he said.

You nodded, letting him bury his head into your shoulder. You knew sometimes this is what Spencer needed. Despite not liking when people touched him, he craved yours. It was like you were his own personal sense of home, and everything was okay as long as he could feel your skin. No killers, no victims, no violence, no nightmares. Just you and your soft skin and gentle touch. That was all he needed.

You weren’t sure how long you two stayed like that; just wrapped up with each other. His plate had definitely gone cold by the time his hands unwrapped from your waist. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled as you got off his lap, “I’m just really hungry.” You giggled, offering to heat his plate up for him. He declined, assuring you that your cooking was more than enough, and he was just grateful to have something to eat already made. Both of your hearts were full of love as you sat while he ate, continually complimenting your cooking.

When Spencer was done, you quickly cleared his plate for him, just sitting it by the sink for one of you to worry about tomorrow. You, once again, grabbed his hand and gently guided him to your shared bedroom. Physically, he wasn’t fragile. Spencer was strong. He’d been through more than almost anyone else on the planet, and he took it in stride. He took whatever came at him and not only moved on from it, but grew from it. But you were still scared he would break. After all, a person could only take so much.

“Shower with me?” Spencer asked once you both reached the bedroom. He sat on the edge to untie his converses. “Of course,” you hummed already making your way to the connected bathroom. You were turning on the water when Spencer entered the room, wearing only his boxers. You couldn’t help yourself as your eyes traced over every nook and cranny of his body. He was so beautiful. After a week, you were dying to be near him. To touch him. To have him touch you.

Spencer could feel the energy shift as he came in. He watched you as you undressed, stepping into the shower. He followed closely, letting his hand run over your chest as he stepped in. You guys stood facing each other, letting the warm water run over you. You held eye contact as you leaned to kiss him. You’d missed the feeling of his lips against yours.

He was the one who deepened the kiss. He could only control himself so much after being away for so long. He thought of you every night. Even when he couldn’t talk to you, you were on his mind.

His hands were on each side of your face as you made out in the shower. His tongue slipped into your mouth and your hands wrapped around his waist to pull him closer. God, you really did miss him.

Just as quickly as he deepened your kiss, he broke it. “I’m really sweaty,” he chuckled reaching for a rag to soap up. You washed each other. You noticed his half-hard cock as you washed his legs. You couldn’t help but press a kiss on his happy trail. He smiled when you stood up to face him again, pressing another kiss to your lips.

Spencer wrapped a large, fluffy towel around your body when you stepped out. He smiled as he ran his hands along your shoulders. He couldn’t help but give you another kiss before leaving the bathroom.

“Come here,” Spencer beckoned, bringing you over to the bed. You held your towel tight to your body as he leaned into where you stood between his legs. He was sitting, trapping you between his open, man-spreading legs. He started pressing deep kisses into your neck and mumbling how much he missed you in-between them. Your grip on your towel loosened as he showered you with love.

He noticed this, reaching up to move your hand completely. He was sucking a mark into your neck as he pulled your towel down. His mouth moved down, as did his hands. As he spread kisses across your chest, Spencer pulled you into his lap. Once you were straddling him, he attached himself to your left nipple. He kept one hand around your waist and brought the other up to toy with your right one.

“Spence,” you groaned, pushing yourself closer to him. After him being gone for so long, it was so easy for him to turn you on. Spencer could feel the wetness that had pooled around your pussy from where you were on his lap.

“Yes, baby?” He questioned, knowing what you wanted but wanted to hear you say it. “I want you,” you whined, dragging your pussy along his hard cock. “I’m tired baby, I don’t know if I can give it to you.” You whined at his teasing words.

He wasn’t lying. He was exhausted. He didn’t know how long he would last once he was inside of you.

“That’s okay,” you mewled, dropping your head into his shoulder, “I can do it myself, if that’s okay.” Spencer smiled, and let out a soft moan at your sweet, but dirty words. “Of course that’s okay,” he said.

That was all you needed, reaching a hand down in between you two and lining him up with your entrance. His hands rested on your waist as you sat down on him. You both let out a matching groan as you fully took him. “I missed you so fucking much.” Spencer said, moving forward to kiss you.

Your movements started light, barely lifting yourself off of his cock. The drag of his length inside of you felt so good as you bounced on his dick. As your movements started to pick up, Spencer was groaning underneath you, loving the way your ass slapped against his thighs as you bounced on him. He couldn’t help himself as he reached down to give it a light slap, before gripping it hard.

You let out a loud moan as you felt him guide your movements from behind. You pressed kisses into his neck as he moved you. You wanted to leave marks on him, just like he did to you, but you couldn’t. He’d have to leave again and you didn’t want anyone else to see the filthy things you two did when you were alone.

Spencer’s words were broken and weak as he sputtered out, “I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna last.” You nodded, agreeing with him but unable to find words as his cock lit a fire inside of you. Your movements were fast and heavy, becoming erratic as you were reaching your high.

When his hand that wasn’t on your ass reached down between your bodies, rubbing on your clit, you let out a moan. Your legs began to feel weak and he had to work harder to guide you as finished on his cock. Your pussy squeezing him just right led him to his own, cumming inside of you.

“Fuck,” you mumbled, pressing a kiss to his temple. “I love you,” Spencer spoke softly, his throat slightly hoarse. You hummed in agreement, pulling yourself off of him. You tried not to make a mess as you made your way to the bathroom.

When you were done, Spencer was laying in his plaid sweatpants, propped up on pillows at the top of your bed. Your eyes couldn’t help but trace his long legs. He smiled at you, holding out the cardigan that you had pulled off of him when he came in.

“I figured you’d like to sleep in it.” You smiled and nodded, slipping it on and buttoning it up. As you both settled down and turned off the lights, all you could think about was how happy you were he was home and safe.

You slept together with your legs intertwined at the bottom of the bed. Spencer didn’t have any nightmares that night.

[s-4pphics]

A/N: me vs writing what i’m supposed to aka moth aka vampire possession aka anyway here’s post santa barbara angst don’t ask questions im not really sure LOL

“You’re back.” 

Determined hands freeze in the dirt, the freshly watered daisies glistening under the beaming sun rays. Your soiled fingers halt all movement at the soft acknowledgment from behind. A sigh leaves your lips. 

“… I am.” 

An exhausted one, and it’s not from your strenuous labor in the garden. Your body refuses to turn, but holes burn in your spine, leaving behind lasered streaks of green. 

“Can you look at me?” Ellie pleads gently. The softest you’ve heard her be in months. 

What she doesn’t know is that you’ve been back. For a week actually, hiding out in other people’s homes throughout Jackson, assisting in places where Ellie’s least likely to go. The garden in particular; Pollen makes her sneeze. 

Time is vital and interesting; Dina left her and Ellie’s farmhouse with her son when you fled Jackson. She sought you out, but you weren’t there. You spent most of your time alone, walking, running, killing what you had to. Searched for peace, internal and external. The sight of the waterfall was worth the months-long trip. Your home is different now. Eerily quiet. The kids you helped teached to read don't play outside or laugh as often anymore. You hardly see Tommy or Maria around. Jesse is dead. Joel is dead. Dina isolates with JJ. Hugs him like she’ll die if she lets go. 

Ellie’s forever changed. The town’s forever changed, and you’ve finally accepted that it’s for the worse. 

“Is listening not enough?” 

Cordiality is beyond you. Spite is evident. Even the flowers can feel it. 

You tried to be patient, to coddle, to mourn and aid and tend. Sacrifice your own wellbeing for the sake of hers. You tried, Dina tried, Tommy didn’t but he did at the same time. Oddly, destructively, but in his own way. You blame him and don’t. Hate him and don’t. He’s violently and permanently scorned, but so are you. So is Ellie. She says nothing from behind you. You rise with a pop in your knees and an upturned lip. 

When you face Ellie, your knees wobble. Scarred: emotionally, physically, mentally. Permanently. Her eyes are more breakable than glass, the shattered hand that displays defeat hid shamefully behind her back. But her cheeks are fuller, no longer the hollow vacancies they were before she left. Maria was always on her back about finishing her meals. 

Grief is complicated. Hurt. Anger. The flowers wilt. Listening isn’t enough, and neither is sacrifice.

Ellie’s nose always twitches when she thinks. Your heart gives a sporadic pulse, but not enough to revive the shell you're trapped in. 

“I don’t want an apology from you.” 

She shakes her head, “I know.” 

“Then why are we talking?” 

Another twitch of her nose. She searches for something. “I—“

But then she flinches away from you, a bent arm coming up to cover her nose and mouth when she sneezes. A painful jerk thrums through your chest, but still not enough. 

“Bless you.” 

One more sneeze, but softer. A bit squeaky. Remnant of when you first met her at 13 and she followed you out to the greenhouse to watch you water the orange trees. 

“Thanks.” 

You nod stiffly. When she doesn’t say anything, you move to leave. Your work is done and she knows you’re back; There’s no point in being alone with her. 

Ellie doesn’t follow, but she does speak. 

“I’m trying.” 

You pause, one foot in front of the other. A doe learning how to walk for the first time. 

“I’m trying to be normal. I’m trying to be okay but it’s not working.” Her voice trembles.

You weren’t expecting a confession. Normal. An interesting use of the word. No one feels that anymore. 

“It probably won’t for a long time.” You state, just as quietly as she, “But if you stop trying, you’ll rot from the inside. If that’s what you want, then fine. But if not… That's all you can do now.” 

“Will we ever be okay?” 

‘We’ means many. ‘We’ means two. Your back’s to Ellie, but you can see her. Unmoving, but frantic. Her mind cranks at a million miles a minute. You feel her eyes on you. Too familiar. 

You’re not sure how to answer, so you don’t. You take one last look at her before you walk away. 

Flowers never look the same the next day. 

[moonchild9350]

Anything for You

Summary: The week was tough, you are tired, exhausted. Thank goodness you have an amazing boyfriend to help you during tough times.

Pairing: established relationship nonidol Felix x fab reader

Genre: fluff, smut- 18+ MDNI

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: nipple play, fingering

Notes: I felt like soft and sweet and attentive Felix was needed so this was born. I hope you like it and if so let me know! Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated :)

If you'd like to be apart of my taglist let me know!

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

You were tired. The last few shifts at work drained you mentally and physically. Your body ached as you dragged yourself home, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, as you made your way to your apartment. Each step up to the second floor was taxing, as you felt the weight of the week on your shoulders.

Putting the key in the lock, you opened the door, the bright light of the hallway light hurting your eyes. You closed the door and kicked your shoes off, dropping your bag in the floor. You could hear the tv on in the living room, a mop of blond hair peeping from the top of the couch, where your boyfriend Felix was sitting. He turned his head at your entrance, a gentle smile gracing his face at the sight of you.

Felix walked toward you, his smile slowly fading as he saw the exhaustion on your face. He pulled you into his arms, wrapping them tightly around you.

“What’s wrong love?” Felix asked as he held you tighter.

Being in his arms felt nice, the warmth easing the tension and fatigue from your body. You nuzzled your head into his chest before mumbling, “ sf’nothing. Just tired is all. “

“I’m so sorry love. What can I do to make you feel better?” Felix asked. His hand was now in your hair, his fingers gently running through the strands.

You were quiet for a minute, your brain trying to focus on his question. Finally, you thought of an idea. “Can you fix me a bath?” The thought of the warm water and your favorite bubble bath sounded perfect to you.

“Of course, I’ll get that started for you. “ Felix kissed the top of your head before letting you go, making his way to your bathroom.

You followed close behind, thankful for a boyfriend that will do anything for you. You watched as he filled the tub, squeezing your favorite lavender bubble bath under the warm water. You watched as the bubbles formed, growing in size as the water rose, the calming scent filling the bathroom. Felix walked around the bathroom lighting candles, their soft glow radiating across the bathroom. Once he was done, he turned to you with a smile on his face.

“It’s all ready love. Wanna get in?”

You nodded, stripping your clothes off and dropping them on the floor. You looked up to see Felix taking his clothes off too. You cocked your head to the side. “What are you doing Lix?”

He chuckled at your confusion, “just want to get in with you. That’s all.”

You nodded watching as he got into the tub, and sat down. He motioned for you to follow. You stepped in and lowered yourself down, the warm water enveloping you. You let out a sigh as you settled against Felix, his arms wrapping around your middle to hug you close.

You both sat there in silence, the sound of the bubbles shifting being the only sound in the room. The glow of the candles reflected off the walls, creating a comfy atmosphere. You were about to drift off until you felt Felix’s breath on your neck as he whispered, “close your eyes love.”

You didn’t need to be told twice, your eyelids fluttering close. You relaxed further into Felix’s hold. A moment passed before you felt Felix’s hands wander, as he gently passed them over your body. You let out a sigh in contentment.

“Let me take care of you. You’ve had a hard week,” Felix said as he continued to run his hands up and down your tummy. “Just close your eyes, empty your mind. No thinking ok?”

You hummed at his demands, letting the week, work, and everything else in your mind go. Felix drifted his hands upwards, brushing his fingers across your nipples. He repeated the action, watching over your shoulder as they became pebbled and hardened. He watched the rise and fall of your chest, your breath halting every now and then as you succumbed to the pleasure. Felix took one of your nipples in his fingers and rolled the bud and giving it a pinch, your breath catching at the sensation.

Grasping both breasts, he messaged the flesh, little sighs falling from your lips. Felix brushed his fingers over your belly again, before making his way further down, gently cupping your sex. You held your breath in anticipation, his fingers ghosting over your folds.

Felix swiped a finger through your folds, dragging them up to your clit and back down to your entrance. He repeated the motion again and again, before focusing on your clit as he drew slow circles on the bud. You mewled at his touch, as your hips slightly lifted up into his hand, the water sloshing in the tub.

You lost yourself in his touch, as he continued the slow pace. The tension left your body, your head falling limp against his shoulder as he played with your bundle of nerves, sending jolts of pleasure throughout your body. Dipping his fingers lower, you felt two fingers at your entrance. You moaned out as He slowly pushed them into your wet walls.

You loved how he payed attention to you, responding to your reactions as he increased his pace dragging his fingers in and out of your pussy, his palm kissing your clit with each thrust. You couldn’t sit still at this point, as you cantered your hips up to meet his thrusts. The water was turbulent with your motions, but you couldn’t care less about the mess now. The pleasure felt amazing, leaving you a moaning mess.

Felix pressed a kiss to your neck before reaching up to play with your nipple once more, his other hand never leaving your sweet pussy. You felt your breath hitch, as you let out little breaths. You were close, you just needed a little more.

Felix was watching you, a smile on his face as he recognized the all too familiar face, as you barreled closer to your high. He withdrew his fingers from your pussy, as you let out a whine at the sudden emptiness. You didn’t have to wait for long though as he brought his fingers back to you clit, rubbing it in tight circles. He pressed a little harder with each circle of his wrist, his other hand switching between rolling your nipples and pinching them.

“Let go love. Can you do that for me yeah? You deserve it sweetheart.” Felix said as he watched you succumb to the pleasure.

You couldn’t hold back, not anymore, the pleasure building and building until it overflowed. You let out a loud groan, your body seizing as you reached your high. Felix worked you through it as he continued to rub your little clit, and pressing kiss after kiss on your neck mumbling praises in your ear.

“Yes, love. So good. Let it all out baby.”

You mewled out at his praise before your body went limp. Felix removed his fingers from your folds, a grin gracing his face. He watched as you regulated your breathing, your tits rising and falling with each breath. Eventually you opened your eyes and adjusted yourself slightly so you nuzzle into his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, before looking into your eyes.

You pressed a kiss to his lips, the love and gratitude flowing through the action. Felix gave you a squeeze before saying, “do you feel better love?” His eyes searched yours, hoping that he could have eased your burdens even if only just a little.

You nodded your head giving him a smile.

“Thank you Lixie. I feel much better.”

He gave you a smile, his beautiful brown eyes gazing down into yours.

“Anything for you love.”

You both sat embracing each other, the water lukewarm at best now. You didn’t care, however, feeling warm in Felix’s arms. You started to drift off, listening to the beat of his heart. You felt much better after being cared for by your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but think with a smile on your face , how’d I get so lucky. Lucky you were indeed.

Taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @thesilvernight0wl @armystay89 @palindrome969 @slut4hee @ivydoesit23 @amarecerasus

[bwabys-scenarios]

Tears and Cake(NSFW)

Kurapika x Fem!Reader

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KURAPIKA!! 💗💗💗

warnings: nsfw, oral(f!receiving), breeding kink, creampie, pregnancy

taglist: @desiray562 @lovelyxkazuha @ashdownunderscorebeloved @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @pannacottababy

‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️

Since the massacre, Kurapika has spent his birthdays alone and in silence. Sometimes he’d get himself a little treat to celebrate the special occasions, but most of the time his birthday would pass by without him even noticing.

That was, until he met you.

The two of you had met up for some coffee and snacks while he was in town, and the topic of birthdays came up.

“Yeah, my birthday is actually next month!” you said, watching his eyes widen slightly.

“Really? I’ll have to send you a gift. I’ll be busy, but I promise I’ll come to celebrate with you when I’m able.”

“That’s okay. And yours?”

Kurapika blinked, looking at you. “My what?”

“Your birthday. I told you mine, what about yours?”

For a moment, he considered whether he should tell you or not. It wasn’t a day he liked talking about… not anymore.

But the way you looked at him, as if you were already planning something made his heart twist. It was important to you, so it would be important to him.

“It’s… April 4th.”

“Oh, so 4/4? That’s pretty cool!”

And that was that. The topic changed to something business related, and when the two of you were full of coffee and baked goods, you parted so he could go and get some work done.

‘Now, it’s time to plan his birthday…’

———————

Kurapika was swamped at with work lately, juggling being a bodyguard while also trying to find information on the Phantom Troupe and possible locations of the scarlet eyes.

The days were blending together, and he struggled to remember what day of the week it was most days, much less what day of the month it was.

So when you called him up asking if he’d be free that weekend, he cleared his schedule for a much needed break.

After all, you were really the only person he made time for these days. The two of you had been dating for about a year now. He always felt a bit bad about not spending enough time with you. You never asked for much though, and with how excited you were over the phone, how could he say no?

That didn’t mean he was super excited. Kurapika was exhausted, both physically and mentally drained. He slept nearly the entire train ride to your hometown, and was still tired when he hailed a taxi to your place.

By the time he got there, the sun was setting, casting your apartment in an orange glow. The stairs up to your apartment door felt so familiar. He’d walked up the flight a hundred times, usually carrying chocolates or flowers to make up for his long absences.

And now he was at your doorstep, knocking with one hand while carrying a plush in the other. He had found the thing in his travels, something he knew you liked to collect. Kurapika couldn’t wait to see the look of surprise on your face when you saw he had found the exact one you had been looking for.

When you opened the door, he sighed in contentment. Just getting to see you in person already put his mind at ease. Every second he was away from you, Kurapika worried over you and your safety. After all, there were a lot of people out for Kurapika’s head. It made sense that you would have a target on your back due to this, which was why you were occasionally visited by his close friends for wellness checks.

He adore you endlessly, it was evident in the way he melted the second your eyes lit up at both him and the plush in his arms. “Oh, you found it! Eeek!”

You grabbed it from his arm, squealing in delight and spinning in a circle. “I love it, thank you so much, Pika!”

Kurapika walked in after you cracked the door open a bit, his eyes soft. It smelled sweet, like vanilla and cinnamon. A bouquet of flowers sat on the kitchen table, and he blushed to think you may have picked them up for his visit.

“It was no trouble, love. I’m happy whenever you’re happy.”

Your cheeks heated up, and you couldn’t help but lean against him, wanting his attention. “Mmph… missed you so much, Pika…”

His own cheeks turned a pale pink as he wrapped his arms around you, his lips placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Missed you too, angel. More than you could ever know.”

Kurapika knew that even you, someone who was more patient and kind than anyone he knew could get lonely sometimes. The guilt of being away from you more often than by your side ate away at him, and sometimes he wondered if being with someone who could give you more attention might be better for you in the long run.

But as you led him to the kitchen, unable to keep the excited smile off your face, he realized how much you truly loved him, and that the prospect of you loving another would never come true.

On the table was a small chocolate cake, with strawberries and candles placed neatly on the top. Sitting nearby were a few presents, and another bouquet of flowers too.

“Happy birthday, Kurapika!”

For a moment, Kurapika was in shock. He’d been so busy that he hadn’t even remembered that his birthday was that weekend. But you had, and his heart thumped against his chest with love and affection for you.

“Kurapika… are you alright?”

He didn’t realize he had started to cry until your gentle hands were wiping away his tears. He blinked, his expression shifting to one of devotion and gratitude.

“Oh, my angel… this is all for me?”

You nodded, smiling as you sat him down in front of his cake. He blushed when you took out your phone and pressed record. Kurapika usually didn’t like being on camera, but with you it was different. He knew you just wanted to capture the moment to look back on later… and he loved that about you.

As you sang happy birthday to him, Kurapika knew that one day, you would be his wife. He thought he had been sure before, but now it was all clear to him.

For a while before you met, his future was blank for him. He didn’t plan anything, knowing there was a possibility he could die attempting to complete his mission.

But with you… he could almost picture your wedding day. Him in traditional Kurta attire, and you in a white gown. It was so clear, he could imagine the day the two of you hunched over a pregnancy test, and him pulling you in for a kiss when it was positive.

When he blew out the candles, Kurapika could only think of one wish he would ever want to come true.

‘I want to stay with (Name) forever…’

“Made your wish?” you asked, giving his cheek a kiss. The blonde smiled, sighing contentedly as he leaned into your touch.

“Mhm… I did.”

The presents were all wonderful, ranging from a scarf you knitted yourself, to a pair of ruby earrings that matched his eyes. Each item was tucked carefully away into his satchel, where he promised to the gods above that he would give back to you tenfold.

This love, this adoration was almost overwhelming, and as you smiled at him in bed, he couldn’t help but act out his feelings by pulling you closer.

“I want you…” he said softly, his thumb caressing your cheek. “It’s been too long since I’ve pleased you. Please, my angel… let me make you feel good.”

Your cheeks heated up, and you pouted just a little. “B-but it’s your birthday, shouldn’t I be pleasing you?”

He chuckled, moving to hover above you. “My love, making you cum pleases me more than anything else.”

“O-oh…” you couldn’t protest one bit as he removed your pajama pants, giving your lacy panties a soft smirk.

“It’s like you planned for this, (Name). Aren’t these the panties I bought for last week?”

You nodded, trying to hide your flustered face. “I was… hoping we would… be intimate tonight.”

Kurapika felt bad for just a moment… he had only thought about how much he had been craving you… but how about the longing you felt? How long had his little angel been waiting for him to make love to her? It had been at least two months…

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I should be taking better care of you…”

He gave a soft lick to the wet spot already forming on your panties, groaning at the taste of your arousal on his tongue. “Need it…”

Your panties were off in a second, and his face was buried between your thighs. It felt amazing, and you were cumming within a minute. His tongue circling your clit, his fingers thrusting into your needy cunt was too much for you to take, especially after going without for so long.

“P-Pika!”

The little pants and moans that left your mouth when you came were enough to get his cock rock hard, painfully pressing against his pants. He was quick to tug off his pants and boxers, desperate to be inside of your warm cunt.

“F-fuck, (Name)… so sorry, angel, need you so bad.”

Usually, Kurapika spent a lot more time between your legs, often leaving your thighs shaking from overstimulation… but today he was too needy.

He snapped his hips against yours, sinking into you until he was buried to the hilt. The whine you let out as your pussy clenched around him was enough to have him rutting into you like an animal.

Kurapika was usually such a gentle lover, but something had snapped inside of him tonight. He needed you like a man dying of thirst needed water. You weren’t just part of his life, you were essential.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to cum together, considering how long you both had gone without another. He kissed you as his cum painted your walls, softly moving his hips as he came down from his high.

You were both exhausted after, but completely happy and satisfied at the same time. He couldn’t help but chuckle a little when you yawned, nuzzling your face against his chest.

“My sleepy girl…”

He placed a kiss on your forehead before he carried you to the bathroom for a quick bath. If Kurapika was good at anything, it was aftercare. He always made you feel appreciated and beautiful, his hands cleaning away the sweat and cum from your body as you sleepily clung to him.

When he wrapped a fluffy towel around you, gently drying you off, you couldn’t help but smile.

“Got… one last present for you, Pika…”

He tilted his head. “Another? But you’ve already given me so much, I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

You smiled, reaching into the drawer by your bed. “Oh, it’s something you’ve been wanting for a while.”

After he helped dress you in comfy, warm pajamas, he yawned, taking the box from your hands. “Open it…”

Kurapika couldn’t believe his eyes. He had to look several times, the usual brown shade turning scarlet as tears fell down his cheeks.

“You’re… pregnant?”

Inside the box was a pregnancy test with two lines showing. You nodded, giggling in delight when he pulled you into his arms.

Kurapika sobbed, unable to stop himself from crying as you rubbed his back. “My angel… oh my love, you’re carrying our baby?”

“Yes… I found out a few weeks ago. It’s been hard hiding it, but I thought revealing it today would be more special-“

He covered your face and neck in kisses, kneeling before you so he could lift your shirt. It was like a devoted believer kneeling before their goddess in prayer, his lips soft on your belly.

The future that he had been looking forward to was already here… his girlfriend was pregnant, they were in love, and now he could only think of one thing.

“Marry me, (Name).”

And you said yes, your own eyes filling with tears as you embraced. He didn’t have a ring now, but by god he would get you the best one there was as soon as possible. You would get everything you wanted, he was devoted to you, body and soul.

As the two of you fell asleep that night, Kurapika felt grateful, and so goddamn happy. He had so many things to look forward to, so many reasons to keep living when he thought he would never even make it into his 20s.

But today, he was 21, engaged, and a father to be.

This was the best birthday of his life… and he would never forget it as long as he lived.

[diejager]

I've been reading the Stepfather! Konig fic and I had just an idea. What if to get away and feel at least some safety reader fakes their death and joins the military with many fake names and constantly changes up themself to keep safe and away from König and Horangi?

Cw: DARKFIC, DUB-CON/NON-CON, STEPCEST, military, recruitment, enlisting, military inaccuracies, tell me if I missed any.

Where was the best place to hide? The last place they would look, right under their nose. You managed - somehow - to keep your papers a secret from them, you were lucky they dealt with things online on encrypted servers, keeping it as hush-hush as possible. Fortunately, there weren’t many requirements for enlisting, all they had asked was your age, level of education and citizenship, some vague papers about you and that was all. You bode your time, leaning on your freedom when you left the house to hit the gym to get a head start in your training, pack a bit of muscle and get into a tight routine to get used to it before you joined; and buying the few things you’d need to build you stage with the few materials and story you made up. 

You were prepared when the time came, just a week before your training and your body thrummed with adrenaline and anxiety, slowly finishing off your plan. And when the time was right, you struck, vanishing with the car that you drove into the lake, you made sure that it was deep enough to be left untouched until you had at least finished your training. It was a stroke of luck, sheer luck that you made it to the base, flashing your papers and given a permit to meet the major of the base to receive your identification once you passed the examinations and interview. 

“Welcome to hell, cadet!” Were the first words you heard in the mass, dressed in the black and white uniform of the navy you stood ramrod with others beside you. 

They separated men and women in the early stages of training, once the selections were done, they’d mix both sex and leave them to train and learn together. It was a gruelling process, the physical and mental exhaustion of it all almost made you crash more than once, mind on the brink of frustration and muscles worn into painful bruises. You’d seen friends - made through nights of venting and moaning about life - and acquaintances quit early or halfway through the training and education. They were weeding out the weaker ones, the less competent and determined from the rest. You feared being picked of quitting, but you powered through it, all your blood, sweat and tears culminated to your graduation nearly eleven weeks later. 

You could stand with pride in yourself, head held high as you received your praises from the major, his rough voice echoing through the room in congratulations. You took your oaths and were given a white uniform and a hat, the black cap and gold encrusted hat that gleamed under the sun. You were proud; you were happy; you felt accomplished and free. You thought of flying, to be and feel as free as the birds that soar the skies, perhaps you’d join the aviation branch of the Navy. It didn’t seem like such a bad idea, to be moved and passed around wherever you were needed, never staying in one place made finding you much harder if König and Horangi found your bluff. 

But you’d gone so far, done so much to take things back or be taken back. You’d accomplished something with what little you had and you knew- You knew that your mother would be so proud of you for persevering. 

“I miss you, mom,” you kissed the sole picture of your mother, the only thing you thought worth keeping, “I’m sorry, I miss you.”

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @lucienbarkbark @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @223princess @maylovesyousomuch @infpt-zylith @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami

[kissitbttr]

What happens if reader and Miguel get into another fight (it could be their first or second or anything really, whatever you prefer!) and it was like…bad. REALLYYY bad, like it effected reader mentally and physically. So they just leave and don’t come back.

I’m not sure if your comfortable with angst with no comfort but if you are can you do that?? And don’t forget to take your time!!

baby, i hope this is angsty enough.

Miguel and his architect!wife having their first argument

—

She knows not to ever pushes Miguel’s buttons. Especially when he has been working himself under pressure. But that’s the thing, she never wanted him to feel stressed or see the look of exhaustion across his face because it breaks her heart.

Her love language is taking care of him. Always. They both made a vow to always be there for one another and she’s never been the one to break a promise. So does Miguel.

Yet it seems that the past two weeks have somehow… changed.

He becomes distant. Colder. She notices how he keeps dodging her touch. Brushing her off with his hand while grunting a ‘i’m busy. later’ when she wants him to join her in bed. And it truly makes her heart torn because he had never been like this. He’s always so affectionate, if not clingier even. So what happened?

“Miguel? Baby, you need to rest. You’ve been dwelling in those paperworks for hours. Come on, my love” She smiles softly as she steps into his working office, tugging her silky robe closer against her body,

No response. His eyes only focuses on the scattered papers below him. Fingers furiously typing away on his computer.

She pretends not to be hurt when he chooses to ignore her. Bare feet finding themselves walking closer to his desk, she crouches down slightly to meet up with his eye level,

“Mig—“

“Not now, cariño . Go to bed”

His voice harsh. Whether he means it or not, it still makes her sad.

“I can’t” She frowns. “I want us to go to bed together. We haven’t done that in a long time and tomorrow is Saturday. Our day. Please?”

Miguel exhales heavily, removing his glasses before chucking it on the table. He straightens his posture, arms crossed over his chest as he shoots her a look.

A look that she had never seen before being directed towards his wife. One that she almost jumped out of fear.

“You do realize that i’m working right now? That me” He points at himself, voice growing harsher by the second. “Miguel O’Hara. Doesn’t need a break. He needs to work! And he would appreciate it if his wife stop being a fucking nag!”

That one cuts too deep. But she’s raised to always stand on her ground. To stand up to any man who ever tries to done her wrong. And that includes her own husband.

Despite how much that hurt.

“A nag?!” She asks in disbelief. “I’m being a nag because i care about my husband’s wellbeing?”

He chuckles. But she finds no humor in it. Empty. Just like his eyes.

“And i cooked for you” her voice lowers, gulping as she wraps her arms around herself. “Made you that carribean dish that you love so much, yet you didn’t even touch it. I even walked to the bakery and bought a blueberry pie. Sofia misses her daddy too, you know that?”

She hopes the mention of their daughter would eventually help his emotions decrease but somehow, his expression remains the same. And it only hurts her more, what he chooses to say next.

“I didn’t ask you to do that. And stop bringing Sofia into this as if it would help me change my mind. It won’t” He crosses his arms. He sure doesn’t mean it. Of course, he doesn’t. But he’s got a lot of things on his mind and he needs to take care of them now.

“What is going on with you?” She asks, both concerned and upset. “You have been acting like a complete different person lately! Avoiding me like a damn plague!”

“I do not need this right now, Y/N. Go!” He yells

But she won’t back down. Hard headed as always. “No! Because i need you to close that fucking computer down, tell Lyla that you’ll work on it later and come back to bed! It’s almost eleven!”

“Fuck!” He roars, slamming his fists against the table making you jump. “It always has to be an argument with you isn’t it?! ‘Miguel this, Miguel that. Miguel come back to bed, i’m fucking clingy and i need you right now!’” He mocks her, earning a very frightened look on her face but he pays no mind to it,

“Dana was never like this with me” He grumbles, mentioning his ex girlfriend’s name. “She knew her boundaries and let me do my fucking job. Definitely didn’t fucking nag me like what you are doing now. You’re making me regret my choices now”

And it hurts. Real bad. Because all of the time they had spent together before this argument, he always reassured her that she is the one for him. That no woman had ever came close to steal his heart and make him feel the way she does. Not Xina, Tempest or even Dana. Miguel may had the longest history with Dana but none of it matters because he has her.

Now? She doesn’t know what to believe right now.

She’s heartbroken. Face falling and her shoulders slump in defeat. The tears begin to form in her eyes but she has to stay in her ground to not let him see. It’s not like he cared anyway, he’s too busy buried in anger than to actually see she’s hurting.

“I can’t believe you just said that” Her voice is weak and shaky. Hands frozen on the either side, hands clenching and she feels her nails digging into the skin of her palms.

At the sound of his wife’s broken voice is what finally puts Miguel into a realization. The words he had just said to her, spewing those bullshit in front of her face. The look of hurt flashes across her beautiful face. It feels illegal to see her not smiling because of him.

Oh my God, what has he done?

“Cariño, I—“

She shakes her head, a broken sob falling from her lips, clamping her mouth shut. Miguel carefully walks around his desk to reach out to her, eyes filled with its own sadness but it only makes her step back making his heart break.

He had never felt more disappointed in himself than right now,

“Baby, please.. I-i didn’t—“

The sound of Sofia’s cries suddenly stops him. Probably awaken because of her dad’s sudden loud voice from when he yelled at her mother,

His wife breathes out a shaky sigh, running her hands through her soft dark hair with eyes shutting in frustration. She feels like she’s ready to explode at any moment. And Miguel contemplates whether or not he should try to comfort her. But by the looks of it, she doesn’t want anything to do with him.

Her eyes snap open. And for the first time, she looks at him with disappointment and anger. He searches for the love in those beautiful irises but find none. That’s when he knows, he had completely fucked everything.

“I’m fucking done with you, Miguel. Fuck you.” Her last words go straight to take a jab at his heart, before she turns on her heels to comfort their loving daughter in her room.

Miguel once couldn’t believe that he had everything. A home. A beautiful wife. A daughter. Second chances were given to him and he sworn to himself that he will do his very best to protect them all.

But now?

He might just lose everything he had built

—

if i were to write a part two, there’s going to be a slight change from ur request nonny if u don’t mind xx

[starsinthesky5]

wanna get out of here? | joe burrow x reader

description: an impromptu getaway is exactly what you and joe needed

a/n: ahhh my second fic!! all the love on my first one gave me the motivation to go and write another one :) i hope you all like this one!

warnings: smut (hope it’s not too bad since it’s my first time writing it LOL), language

word count: 6 k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday 

The sounds of hammering rain and thunder were all you could focus on as you were sitting on the couch, curled up in a blanket trying to finish an overly complex project for work. You had been trying to finish the final section for the past week but you simply could not get rid of the restless feeling that had engulfed you over the past few days. 

Joe, on the other hand, was sitting right next to you. He was staring at the TV which had on some random rerun episode of The Office. Normally, he’d be laughing along to the show no matter how many times he had seen the episode, but today he was quiet & agitated. He had been overwhelmed this past month with intense rehab for his wrist injury; on top of which he had his off-season workouts every day which had also been incredibly vigorous. He was mentally and physically burnt out and needed something to take his mind off of everything. He noticed that you also had been swamped with work which caused you to be on edge the whole week, preventing you two from having any real 1 on 1 time like you usually do, and he wasn’t having it. 

You were typing away on your computer, another idea that would probably lead to nothing, before you heard the TV turn off. 

You turned your head to Joe and saw his blank face. “Everything Okay?” you questioned while reaching for his hand. 

“Wanna get out of here?” he asked while interlocking your hands, still looking expressionless. 

“Joey there is literally a monsoon happening outside right now,” you deadpanned as you squeezed his hand. 

“Not out there. I mean do you wanna get out of Ohio?”.

“Who are you and what have you done with my fiancee,” you laughed. 

“What?” he asked, looking quizzical as if he had no idea why you said that.

“You, the same man that never leaves his house unless it’s business or football related. And sometimes due to a forced social activity, or occasionally to have fun, wants to leave Ohio? You’re practically a turtle that stays in its shell all day,” you say before going back to your work project. 

Joe is slightly taken aback by what you said. Deep down he knows you aren’t wrong, he doesn’t go out very often, which made what he said next even more necessary. 

“Let’s go to the Bahamas this weekend. I can call up Ted and get a jet here and we can leave Friday morning. I’m thinking we stay at a lowkey house on a private beach for maybe 4 days,” he says.

You think he’s just messing with you but when you look over at him, he looks serious. 

“Where is this coming from?” you say with worry in your voice. In the 5 years, you and Joe have been together, he’d never sprung an idea of a vacation on you by himself, it was always mutual. And you’d never left the States before either. You close your computer and turn to face him. 

“I’m just so fucking tired,” he says with a sigh. “These past few weeks have been really intense and I just need a break.” 

Your face drops as he continues. He’d been under so much pressure lately with OTA’s slowly approaching and training amping up; plus all the background noise. He’d start throwing in the next month or so and deep down he was nervous. He didn’t know how it was going to go and if all this rehab was even worth it if he was never going to be able to get back to where he was. 

“And you’ve been stressed out all week because of work and it feels like we haven’t had just ‘us’ time,” he adds. 

Joe was right. He’d be gone all day with either rehab or workouts and the only time you two would get together would be dinner. And by dinner, you’d be too exhausted to do anything but eat and rush off to bed. 

You spend a few moments contemplating his offer. It would be nice to get away for a few days and you both needed the change of environment badly. 

“Okay, let’s do it," you say with a smile as you pull him in for a hug. 

“But just so you know, since we’d be leaving in 2 days, I’m going to be an absolute nightmare when it comes to packing,” you say before planting a kiss on his cheek. 

“Oh, I'm well aware. You only get 2 days to stress about packing and not a whole week like usual,” he laughs. 

Thursday Evening 

You both spent the majority of the day planning your impromptu vacation. You found the perfect beach house on the other side of Nassau, away from the main part of the island. It was hidden by palm trees and had a private beach which made it easy to unwind without any prying eyes. You would spend the week there and pick out a few activities nearby to occupy your time. You also chose a few places to eat although you both decided to cook at home for the majority of your stay. 

Currently, you were sitting on your closet floor attempting to pack your suitcase but were majorly failing. Packing was never your strong suit, especially if you had to pack the day before a trip. The closet looked like a war zone, things were everywhere. 

“This is the wrong time to not be able to find anything,” you say to yourself while getting up once again to hunt for missing items. 

Joe walked into the closet and saw you frantically pacing back and forth looking for something. 

“Babe, are you Okay?” He asked while sitting down on the stool. 

“Have you seen my new white bikini? Or my sunglasses? Or my tank tops?” You asked, aggravated that you couldn’t find your stuff.

“I literally cannot find anything,” You added before giving Joe a look. He knew that look all too well, you were 1 misplaced item away from having a full breakdown. 

He got up from the stool and walked over to where you were, put his hands on your shoulders, and said “Y/N you could wear a potato sack and still look amazing. Stop stressing about it, this vacation is supposed to get rid of the stress. Not add onto it,”

You let out a deep breath and say “You’re right. It’s just us anyway. I’ll just pack some nice dresses and stuff whatever in the suitcase,” 

“The fewer clothes the better,” Joe smirks and says before leaning in and planting a kiss on your lips. 

“You’re insatiable,” you say against his lips. 

After you finish packing your suitcase, you get ready for bed since you have a fairly early flight. It took Joe about 15 minutes to pack his things, which came as no surprise since he is the biggest outfit repeater you know. You’re just about ready to doze off before you feel Joe’s hand creep up your leg and squeeze your thigh.

“Mmm Joe not right now,” you say half asleeply. “Go to bed,”

“Not that,” he states. “I can’t fall asleep,” he mumbles. 

You let out a sigh before turning to face him. No way you’re getting any sleep now. “What’s wrong,” you say as you move his messy curls out of his eyes. 

“I don’t know, I just can’t fall asleep,” he says. 

You knew Joe too well to know when something was bothering him. His confession earlier was only the tip of the iceberg. Something was bugging him and you needed him to talk to you.

“What’s going on in that brain of yours,” you say as you play with his curls. 

He stayed silent for a few heartbeats, not knowing if he should unload his heavy thoughts on you right before a vacation. But he knew that it was just you. You’d always listen to whatever he had to say, no matter the time or place. 

“Just everything.” He says, meeting your eyes. “Rehab has been going great and training has been too, and I should be happy about that but I just can’t get rid of that feeling,”

“What feeling?” You question.

“Feeling like I won’t be good enough. I know what people are saying; overpaid, overrated, no rings, injury-prone. And they aren’t wrong. I don’t have anything to back up why people think I’m a top 3 quarterback,” 

Your heart breaks as he continues to talk. The fact that Joe feels like he isn’t good enough is mind-boggling to you. He’s one of the best damn players you’ve ever seen and you wish you could do something to get rid of his doubts, but you knew that that was something he had to do on his own. 

“But you do have things to back it up. You had one of the greatest college football seasons ever. Winning the Natty and the Heisman was only the start of your legacy. You were drafted by an organization that was in desperate need of saving and you made an impact that not many could have done,” you say as you see a small smile on his face.

“You had a shitty rookie season with tearing basically everything in your knee, but you worked hard and came back better than ever fucking before. You went on and led the team to their first playoff win in 30 years and went to the fucking Super Bowl in your first full season,” you add.

“Yeah, you didn’t win. But you put the entire league on notice and showed them who the hell you are. And then you did it again next year even though you didn’t go all the way. This past year was rough and didn’t go the way anyone would have expected, but this is part of what makes you, you.” you say with a smile as he stares deeply into your eyes. 

“You thrive when there’s adversity. It makes you work harder for what you want and it always pays off one way or another. You always come out better and stronger. You are a great quarterback and are absolutely more than good enough. You’re going to have your moment soon, and I know it,” you conclude. 

Joe stares into your eyes for a few more heartbeats. You knew exactly what to say to bring him back down from whatever cloud he was stuck on and he was so thankful for you. 

“I love you,” he said as he pulled you onto his lap, pressing kisses all over your face. 

“I love you more, always,” you laugh as he kisses the hell out of you. 

You two spent the rest of the night in each other's embrace. You finally felt at peace once you heard Joe’s soft snores fill the room and finally got some sleep.

Friday

You both got up pretty early for your flight, taking a quick shower before packing the car and heading to the airport. After boarding the plane you both took off your shoes, pulled out your fav blanket, and got comfy. 

“Are you excited?” Joe beams.

“Excited is an understatement, Burrow,” you smirk. “Getting you out of Ohio might be my favorite part,”. 

“I’m so looking forward to getting some sun and swimming in that big pool,” he says, referring to the massive pool that’s a part of the house you rented.  

“It’s like you’re a whole new person,” you smile while leaning your head on his shoulder. He smiles and kisses your forehead before pulling out his laptop to turn on a movie. 

“Oooo what are we gonna watch?” you excitedly question. 

“I was thinking of either ‘Grown-Ups’ or ‘21 Jump Street’,” he responds.

“Hmm, let’s do Jump Street, it’s been a while since we watched that,” you say. 

You spent the rest of the flight watching movies, playing a few card games, and eventually taking a small nap before the plane landed. 

A few hours later

After the plane landed, you both drove to your house for the week and it was like something out of a fairytale. The house overlooked the beach and the crystal blue water. Lush green palm trees surrounding the house provided ample privacy, especially for the large open pool in the backyard. You two settled into the house before changing into your swimsuits for a nice afternoon dip in the pool. You did end up finding your new white bikini, which was perfect for the occasion. 

Joe walked out of the bathroom and saw you brushing your hair in the mirror. His eyes trailed down to your bare legs, up to your perfect ass, then to your toned stomach, and straight to your chest. You looked so sexy and he was in heaven. He walked up to you and hugged you from behind, his warmth causing you to melt into his arms. 

Your eyes met his in the mirror, “Like what you see, Burrow?” you teased. 

“Absolutely,” he chuckled as he swayed you two back and forth, pressing a kiss on the back of your shoulder while sliding his hand down to your ass. Joe was grinning like a love-struck fool as he watched you close your eyes and melt into his embrace. He was making you feel more relaxed than you’d ever been before and you both were loving it. 

You both ventured out to the pool and sat down on the pool chairs, hoping to get a quick tanning sesh in before a swim. A few minutes in, Joe found himself staring at the pool when he got an idea. 

“I’m gonna jump into the pool,” he casually said.

You quickly turned your head to him and said, “Are you crazy, the water will get everywhere,” You gasped.

“It’s just us though, nobody around to complain. Besides, I can’t do it in the pool at home since we spent way too much money on redoing the backyard. At least here there isn’t any vegetable garden at risk of being destroyed,” he smirked before quickly running back to the patio door and launching himself into the pool, not giving you a moment to lecture him. 

The water did in fact get everywhere but it was worth it when you saw Joe come up from the water. He shook his head back and forth to get the water out of his hair before he took his hand and attempted to slick it back. Your eyes navigated to his muscular chest which had stray water droplets sliding down his abdomen, back into the water. God, he looked so hot like this. 

“Like what you see, Burrow,” he teased as he noticed your expression. 

“Yes, in fact I do. Very much actually,” you say while getting off the chair. “And I’m not a ‘Burrow’ yet, still gotta wait a few months before that,” you say as you make your way into the pool. 

“Well, you’re practically already my wifey sooo,” he trails off before swimming over to the steps and helping you into the pool. 

You giggle at his words. He couldn’t wait to marry you and he never failed to make it known. 

You immediately latch onto him when you're in the pool. This was pretty normal for you both. You’d always use him as a floatie and make him do all the work while you just lay on him and relaxed. 

A few moments later you release yourself from his embrace, making him slightly confused at the sudden loss of contact. 

“Y/N come back,” he whines out.

“Someone’s clingy today,” you say while playfully rolling your eyes and swimming away from him. 

He stared at you for a few moments, a sad look on his face while you continued to swim around and away from him. You felt bad that you’d left him hanging but you were having too much fun teasing him. 

“Come and catch me shiesty,” you yelled. He hated it when you called him that. That nickname was only for football-related individuals to use and he thought it was a little cringe whenever you would use it. Not in a bad way, it’s just he preferred you calling him other names that football-related people can’t use. You knew how he felt about it but you also knew that this would for sure set him off. 

“Oh you’re done for,” he playfully growled before swimming after you. The pool was massive so you had just enough space to get away from him. 

You two were swimming circles around each other, occasionally splashing water into each other's faces in hopes of catching each other off guard. Your arms began to get tired of swimming around so you stopped by the ledge to take a breather while Joe was settled on the other side of the pool. 

Before you knew it, Joe had swum over to you and pulled you back into his arms. 

“Got you,” you whispered against your ear. 

“I guess you did,” you whispered back. 

“You look absolutely gorgeous by the way,” he said looking down into your eyes. “I love this bikini on you,” 

You blushed at his sweet comments. He never failed to tell you how pretty you looked. 

“Ya know, I look even better with it off,” you tease. 

Joe’s face dropped immediately when you said that. He’d been horny since he saw you in that bikini but had to compose himself since you both were looking forward to swimming in the pool. But now that you’d gotten your swim time in, nothing was stopping him. 

He slowly pressed you against the wall of the pool and kissed his way up your neck right up to your sweet spot. 

“Joe,” you moaned out. 

“What baby?” He asked, knowing exactly what you wanted.

“I need you,” you whined.

He looked at you momentarily before lifting you out of the pool and rushing you inside to the large bedroom. You let out a squeal as he pushed you back onto the bed. Joe climbed over you and situated his body in between your thighs, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You stayed kissing each other for a few minutes before you felt something hard poke at your stomach.

“Getting eager now aren’t we,” you tease. 

“Please, I’ve been waiting to get you in this bed since I saw you in this bikini,” he grinned. 

“Then I suggest you do something about it,” you replied.

Joe smiled and started to untie the strands of your bikini top before tossing it to the side. He kissed his way down to your perfect breasts, swirling his lips around your sensitive bud which caused you to let out a breathy moan.

“Joe,” you moaned out while shoving your hands in his hair. 

He spent a few moments sucking on your breasts before he continued his way down. He pressed a few sloppy kisses on your stomach before eventually making his way down to where you needed him the most. He slowly peeled off your bottoms which was driving you insane.

“Joe please,” you whined out.

“Patience is key, baby,” he teased. 

He threw your bottoms to the side as he made his way back up to your heat. “You’re so wet,” he says while ghosting his fingers over your folds.

“Joe I swear to god-,” You suddenly felt his warm tongue lapping at your folds which caused you to let out another moan, “Ohh Fuck”. 

He buried his warm tongue inside your core as he continued to eat you out like a starved man. He moved one of his hands up to cup your breast as the other was firmly on your thigh. Joe moved up and started to rhythmically suck on your clit which made you see stars; something which he made you see often. “Joey, fuck don’t stop,” you said breathlessly.

“You like that?” he chuckled against your core, sending vibrations throughout your body. Those 3 words always managed to get you more horny than you already were. "Yeah," you whispered.

He went back to lapping at your folds as he used his thumb to rub your clit. The combination of his mouth and fingers was sending you over the edge. You started to arch your back which caused you to lift your hips slightly but Joe pushed them back down as he continued to send you into a frenzy. You fisted your hands into his hair and started to pull on the loose curls which caused Joe to let out a soft moan against you. 

“Joe I’m so close,” you whispered as you pushed his head closer to your core. You felt a familiar warmth in your belly as you were moaning Joe’s name out (which was driving him insane). Joe thrusted one of his fingers into you, causing the imaginary rubber band in your lower belly to snap; feeling a familiar gush of liquid pool below you. You were overcome with a feeling of pure pleasure and satisfaction as he cleaned up your mess with his skillful mouth. He pressed delicate kisses on the insides of your thighs before moving back up and pushing his lips against yours again. 

“You’re so hot,” he said in between kisses. 

You felt a blush creep up on your face. “I’m flattered Mr. Burrow, but have you seen yourself”. 

“Shut up,” he chuckled before going back to kissing you. You stopped kissing him after a few moments and said “Joe, I need you inside me.”

“Your wish is my command babe,” he replied as he pulled down his swim trunks and threw them to the side. His cock was rock hard and the sight of it had you sizzling with anticipation. 

Your core was slick with your arousal which made it easy for him to push his dick into you. The tip slowly teasing your folds before he buries himself inside of you, causing you to let out a loud moan. You will never get tired of the feeling of him inside you. 

He started slowly thrusting into you which made you wrap your legs around him, wanting him deeper asap. 

“Joe, Fuck,” you moaned out. “Faster baby,”. 

He began snapping his hips against you, faster & harder than before. “God, you feel so good Y/N,” he moaned out. You brought him in for another kiss, this time quick, messy, and sloppy. He continued thrusting into you and you bucked your hips each time to match his movements. The sound of your arousal and skin-hitting skin filled the room as you two were caught up in the euphoria that was happening between you. 

Joe buried his face into your neck, sucking on your sweet spot, as your hands found themselves in his hair again. You were on Cloud 9 right now and it was all because of him.

“Joe, don’t stop. Shit, you feel too good,” you moaned. You felt him move deeper inside of you as he repeatedly hit your cervix. 

He continued to pound into you, making you feel like nothing else mattered but this moment. You both felt your arousal building up, begging to be released. 

“Fuck Y/N, I’m close,” he panted as he slowed down.

“Me too,” you whimpered. 

He picked up the pace of his thrusts once again, this time moving one of his hands down to your heat, toying with your clit. “Fuck,” you moaned out for what seemed like the hundredth time. “I’m gonna cum,” you whimpered. You felt your walls clench around him, signaling you were almost there. Joe felt you clench around him and pinched your clit which set off your orgasm. Your chest heaved up and down as you whimpered out his name while seeing stars again. He continued to thrust into you, chasing his pleasure. 

“Y/N,” Joe moaned out. You knew he was close by the way his thrusts started to become sporadic. 

“Come on baby,” you encouraged while pulling at his hair and kissing his neck. 

After a few rough thrusts, Joe let out a loud moan as you felt hot spurts of his cum fill you up. He collapsed on top of you as you both panted, needing a moment to recover after the workout you two just had. You moved one of your hands to his back, softly sliding it up and down to help him relax.

“I love you,” he softly said as he kissed your cheek, making you smile. 

“I love you more,” you whisper in his ear as he buries his face into your neck again. 

The next day 

The next morning was pretty chill for you both. You had breakfast at the local beachside cafe, stuffing your faces with delicious fresh fruit from the island before embarking on a pleasant morning walk on the beach. 

“This is nice,” Joe says as you both walk hand in hand alongside the water, a content look on his face.

You look up at him and smile, “Very nice,” you giggle. “Although, I don’t know how you’re not uncomfortable with walking on the beach in shoes,” you question while looking at your bare feet and then his shoes. 

“You never know when a crab might come up and pinch your toes,” he says with a straight face. 

“Righhhht,” you say while relishing the feeling of sand between your toes. 

“So, what should we do today? We pretty much have the whole day since we’re cooking at home tonight,” he says while squeezing your hand. 

“Hmmm,” you wonder for a second. “We could go out on one of the boats?” you carefully question while looking up at your fiancee. 

Joe did not like going on boats. He hated the idea of being out on the open water with no way of getting back to shore other than using the boat. He always questioned what you would do if the boat broke down or even started sinking. You always told him the sinking part was highly unlikely, but you blamed yourself for that worry because you’ve made him watch Titanic with you one too many times. He also didn’t like how you couldn’t see what was in the water. But lucky for you, the water in the Bahamas was crystal clear. 

He stayed silent for a few moments, making you a little sad since you wanted to experience something new with him. 

“Let’s do it,” he says while flashing you a smile. 

You looked up at him, a little surprised. “Really?” you beam. 

“Yes, now let’s go before I change my mind,” he says before stopping to pick you up. He doesn’t give you a moment to respond because he throws you over his shoulders causing you to let out a squeal. He leads you both back to the house so you can get freshened up.

You both got changed into your swimsuits before walking over to the docks and renting a boat for the day. You weren’t sure how you managed to get Joe to go on the boat, but you certainly were not complaining. 

The driver had taken the boat not too far from shore, which kept Joe’s mind at ease. You swam in the water for a little bit and enjoyed a few drinks. 

“Mmm, this like the best Mai Tai I’ve ever had,” you say while taking another sip. Joe was currently in the water in front of you, while you were seated on the steps of the boat, legs partially in the water. 

“Come in the water,” Joe says while splashing some water onto you. 

“Mmm, I think I’m good up here,” you tease while placing your drink to the side.

Joe swam closer to you and said “Nope.”

You were confused at what he meant but then you felt his wet hand wrap around your wrist. 

“Joe, don’t even think about it,” you playfully growled, knowing exactly what he was about to do. He didn’t listen and pulled you into the water, causing a big splash. You came back up to the surface with a frown.

“Someone’s mad,” Joe laughs. You swim over to him while he is fully anticipating an ass-kicking but is pleasantly surprised when you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his cheek.

You laugh and say, “If this is mad, let me be mad more often,”.

A few hours pass and you both are sitting on the boat in the net seating area that was right above the water. Joe had put on one of his many bucket hats and shades and was laid flat against the net, soaking in the golden sun. You were applying another layer of sunscreen before noticing his chest turning red. You knew he’d be a pain in the ass if he got sunburnt so you took the bottle and moved closer to him. 

You squeezed out a dab of sunscreen and started applying it to his chest. He flinched at the sudden contact before realizing it was just you. 

You felt him flinch and laughed, “Daydreaming, Burrow?”. 

“Maybe,” he smiles while taking off his shades. He looks down and sees you applying sunscreen on him, “Oh, thanks,” he says while meeting your eyes. 

You let out a playful sigh and say, “What would you do without me,”.

“For real,” he says. “I’d be walking around like a tomato,” he laughs. 

After applying the rest of the sunscreen, you lay back against the net and Joe lifts one of his arms, motioning for you to curl up next to him. He rests his hand on the small of your back while you tangle your legs with his. 

You lay there briefly, soaking up the perfect scene before breaking the silence. “Are you enjoying this? I know boats aren’t really your thing and I hope I didn’t force you into this,” you softly say. 

“Of course, I’m enjoying this. I will admit, I was a little nervy when getting on but you’re here with me so I’m fine. Besides, If the boat breaks down at least we’d be stranded together,” he jokes. 

“I guess that’s true. Better than being stranded with a bunch of randos too. I’m glad we could get a boat just for the two of us,” you reply. 

“Yup. This isn’t as bad as I thought. I can see everything below us too so no risk of a random shark popping out,” he deadpans.

“Like that would actually happen,” you say while softly hitting his chest.

“You never know,” he says while shaking your shoulder in an attempt to scare you.

You spent a few minutes messing around with each other before the driver came out to tell you that you were heading back to the island. You both got up and sat on the bench, your back pressed into Joe’s chest and stared out into the open waters, taking in the view before it was time to go back. You were mindlessly sliding your hand along Joe’s leg while he had his arms around your waist, gently squeezing your soft skin. Everything about this moment was peaceful. Joe felt at ease for the first time in a long time and he had his favorite person to thank for it. 

Once you got back to the house, you both took a nice shared shower before starting your dinner prep. Before arriving at the house yesterday, you had stopped at the local market to pick up some groceries. 

“So, what are we making tonight,” Joe asked as he sat down on one of the barstools. 

“I was thinking of shrimp-avocado tostadas and some of that wine we picked up yesterday?”

“Sounds delicious,” he said while rubbing his belly.

You let Joe fry the tortillas and make the avocado mixture while you cooked the shrimp and assembled the tostadas. While you were assembling the dish, Joe found a few candles in the cabinet and got an idea. He went outside to the backyard and set up the candles on one of the patio tables, setting the scene for a nice sunset dinner. He picked out a few flowers from the front of the house and put them in a vase to use as a centerpiece. He then poured the wine into 2 glasses, setting one on each side. 

You had finished plating the tostadas and didn’t see Joe anywhere. “Joe? Where are you,” you yelled out.

“Out here! Bring the plates outside,” he yelled back. 

You were a little confused but went along with it. You walked outside with your dinner and saw Joe setting the table and your heart melted. 

“Joe, this is so romantic,” you cooed while putting the plates on the table. 

He gave you a warm smile before pulling out one of the chairs for you to sit in. You sat down as he settled into the chair across from you. You both devoured the tostadas while making small talk about your plans for tomorrow. After you finished eating, Joe took the plates and set them inside; he suggested you both finish up your wine on the daybed since you would get a comfier view of the sky. 

Later that night, per your suggestion, you and Joe were sitting in the bathtub surrounded by bubbles and a few candles. You felt so relaxed even though you’d only been here for 2 days, and it was all because of Joe.

“I’m glad we finally get to have ‘us’ time,” Joe says while rubbing your thigh under the water. “I missed just being able to sit with you and do nothing. This past month felt so repetitive, I feel like we barely saw each other,” 

“Me too. We needed this,” you said as you pressed yourself into his chest a little more. Your back was to his chest and both your legs were tangled under the water. This was your favorite position; the warmth radiating off of his body felt like a big hug. 

“Thank you for doing this by the way,” you add.

“Doing what?” He questioned.

“This trip. I needed it more than I thought I did. Getting away from home and the change of environment was much needed. I think if I stayed in Ohio for another day I might have spontaneously exploded,” you joked, causing him to let out a soft chuckle. 

“Anytime,” he replied while kissing the nape of your neck.

“Do you feel better?” You asked. “I hope you were able to get your mind off of things. Your stuff was a lot heavier than mine,”

He lets out a content sigh and says, “Actually, yeah I do feel better. I think I just needed to get out of the chaos and get out of my head. This trip has helped me decompress and realize that not everything has to be so stuffy all the time,” Joe says. 

“Exactly,” you chirp as you lean your head back to place a kiss on his neck.

“I can’t do anything about what people are saying, they’ll always talk. But what I can do is work hard to get back to where I’m supposed to be. And I won’t be able to get there if I’m constantly pressuring myself,” he says. “Letting loose and having fun is a part of that journey. I need that balance,” he adds.

“And this is a great start,” you say while smiling up at Joe

“Yes it is,” Joe says while pressing another kiss to your forehead. 

You both had spent the rest of the night talking about the rest of your exciting activities planned for the final 2 days of the trip. You even talked about a few fun things you could do around Cincinnati when you get back home so that you could keep the work-life balance that you both so desperately needed. 

“This impromptu vacation might have been the best idea you’ve had so far,” you tell Joe as you both are about to fall asleep. 

“We should get away more often,” Joe grins.

--The End--

[littlereaderxfandoms]

Weekend Gone Wrong

caregiver!hotch x caregiver!spencer x caregiver!derek x little!fem!reader + little friends

Summary: This weekend has been in the making for two weeks. Two weeks of no regression and constant stress. Hopefully, nothing goes wrong.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort (?)

Length: 3.1k words

You shut your laptop with a sigh, exhausted, when you see a text from Derek that they were leaving the office. The last two weeks have been bad for you mentally, physically and emotionally. The guys haven’t had a chance to be home in the last almost three weeks due to back-to-back cases, you found out that your parents couldn’t pay for your university anymore because of which you have picked up more shifts and started another job while the guys were working and one of the courses you are taking this semester is kicking your butt. With the whirlwind that it has been over the last few weeks, you and the guys had decided to have this weekend off for everyone so all of you can catch up, relax and especially indulge in some much-needed little-caregiver time.

You were really looking forward to this and couldn’t wait for the guys to get home. Unfortunately, you still did have a little bit of waiting to do as they drove home. You decide to heat up the food you made for everyone, having had decided to wait for them to eat dinner together. Although, you didn’t think it would be past midnight by the time they got home. You didn’t mind though, since you hadn’t really realized the time anyway as you worked on some assignments. You also got yourself a glass of water, knowing the guys would inquire about water and food and quite frankly, you had not done a very good job in either department about looking after yourself.

You can’t help but smile as soon as you hear the door open, resisting your urge to run to them and jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store. But even if you did it, it was justified because this was better than a whole candy store. Okay, maybe not a whole candy store but definitely a trip to the candy store.

“Hey, princess.” Derek grinned as he pulled you into a hug after dropping his bag by the door, but you could see how tired he was as you hugged him.

“Darling…” Aaron pulled you out from Derek’s arms and into his, squeezing you tight before you pulled away and hugged Spencer, knowing he wouldn’t have spoken up.

“How was the trip back home? I have dinner heated up, we can eat and talk?” You say, turning around in Spencer’s arms.

“You,” Spencer kisses your cheek as Derek and Aaron smile at you before starting to move to the kitchen, “are the most amazing, beautiful, and caring girlfriend ever. I can’t believe we got this lucky.”

You giggle as you pull away from him, pulling him to the kitchen where the other two are already setting up and getting the food plated. “You’re only saying that because I’m feeding you.”

“Never!” All three chirp in, making everyone laugh.

Everyone stands around the kitchen counter, eating your home-cooked lasagna as you talked about anything and everything with each other, forgetting how tiring the last few weeks had been.

Well, that is until Derek’s phone rings, breaking the trance. Derek goes out to answer it, letting the three of you be.

“Hey guys,” Derek comes in, looking a little serious as he came back in after a few minutes, “it was Ace.”

You can see everyone turning serious at that, including yourself. Ace is one of the littles in your local community as somewhat of a friend. He is in a relationship with a caregiver, Jason, and another little, Jenny. The four of you have never liked Jason and have warned Ace and Jenny about the same but the two of them said that they loved Jason and were not willing to discuss it with any of you. That had drawn a drift between the friendship but you had made it clear that if they ever needed any of you, you were just a call away.

“What happened?” Aaron is the first to ask.

“Apparently, things have been going bad and they need to get out. Jenny is involuntarily regressing and Ace has been struggling. They need a place for a few days.”

“They are more than welcome here, they know that,” Spencer says, making Aaron nod in agreement.

“I just wanted to ask everyone if they are okay with this before I tell them that they can come over,” Derek said, looking at you for final approval.

“Of course, they can stay with us! They are our friends!” You speak up, not really thinking about what it would mean for the weekend you had planned.

A few hours later, a regressed Jenny was sleeping on your couch while Ace, you, and the guys went over how to best help the two. It was decided that it would be a regressed weekend for all three of us as Ace had been struggling a lot too.

You were none too happy about it as it meant that you would basically be having a little sleepover, something you have never done before.

After figuring out where everyone would be sleeping, Ace and you were sent to bed while the guys cleaned up and put Jenny to bed. You tried to wait up a little to see if one of the guys would come with you to kiss you goodnight but only got hugs and a nudge to get to bed, just like Ace. Thankfully, the exhaustion from your long shifts at your jobs helped put you to sleep almost immediately, reminding you that you needed to tell the guys that you had gotten a second job at some point.

The next morning was… horrible to say the least. You woke up with a migraine, probably a result of your lack of self-care over the last few weeks. Jenny seemed to be in baby space and kept crying loudly unless one of your caregivers was holding her. Ace was… like a way too energetic toddler, to put it nicely as he threw tantrum after tantrum, broke a bowl because it wasn’t the one he chose as it was your favorite, and wouldn’t eat anything the guys made until after they had made it.

All you wanted to do was stay in bed after realizing what the situation was downstairs. Unfortunately for you, the guys never allowed you to stay in bed past nine without a good reason. And with how annoyed, tired, and frustrated they were, you almost felt bad for Derek as he came into your room and almost yelled at you to get out of bed, not waiting to hear what you had to say as he was called back downstairs.

This weekend was supposed to be peaceful and relaxing for everyone and so far, it had been anything but. And it didn’t get any better as the day progressed. The guys were preoccupied with Ace and Jenny while you kept to yourself, studying in your room, after getting an unfair timeout because you didn’t want to give Ace your favorite stuffed bear after the way he had been so playing badly with your other toys. Yeah, being little was out of the question after that.

You knew that the guys were trying their best here and that Ace and Jenny deserved this regression time as much as you if not more but you couldn’t help but feel hurt and neglected. You were trying your best to be nice and welcoming but it was hard for you too and it felt like that wasn’t being acknowledged either. After the disastrous day, you hoped that tomorrow would be better as the guys came into the room to kiss you goodnight and read you a bedtime story with an apology about not being able to spend enough time with you like you had been planning.

“Plans don’t always work out. It’s okay.” You shrugged with a smile.

“You are way too understanding princess.” Aaron kissed your forehead again.

“Did you get any little relaxation time at all today?” Derek asked, making you shrug again, not wanting to make them feel bad.

“Had a lot of studying to do.” You bury your face in Aaron’s chest so you don’t have to look at them. “But I’m tired now. I’m sure you guys are too. Sleep?”

The guys murmured their agreement as the four of you went to bed for the night, Derek and Spencer giving you a few more kisses before letting you get to sleep with Aaron.

The next day did not turn out good either. You were out of groceries and the guys had decided that everyone would go to the supermarket together when you offered to be big and go get them. Clearly, they didn’t like the idea even remotely. But the disaster at the supermarket definitely made them regret their decision.

Ace was running around constantly while Jenny insisted that she wanted to be holding hands with two of the guys. You were doing pretty good and you could see how grateful the guys were for it as you helped them without a ruckus. However, the manager, who was also your manager after you started working there a couple weeks ago recognized you and was all too happy to chat with you, making the guys shoot you questioning looks. Then, as you used the employee discount during checkout, Aaron finally spoke up about it.

“Since when do you work here?” Aaron asked as he put the groceries in the bag while the others got ice cream from the truck outside. “You didn’t tell us you changed your job.”

“Um… yeah… We really need to talk ab-“ You were cut off when you heard a commotion outside, seeing Derek and Spencer trying to get Ace and a crying Jenny away from Jason.

“Shit.” Aaron quickly picked up the bags before starting to make his way out after making sure that you followed him.

Everyone quickly piled up in the car, getting on our way back home. The guys checked on Ace and Jenny before everyone fell silent. After sorting out the groceries at home, Ace, Jenny, and the guys talked in their office while I cooked dinner for everyone, wanting to get a distraction.

As everyone settled down for dinner, it was announced that Ace and Jenny were going to move in with Jenny’s parents for now and that it was their last night there. You also realized that the day was coming to an end… along with the weekend. Tomorrow, you would be getting back to work and classes while the guys would be going back to work too.

While you were glad to have been there for your friends, it hurt that the chance you had gotten to relax after weeks of loneliness and stress was gone, just like that. And that night, as the others decided to have a movie night per Jenny’s request, you left and cried yourself to sleep.

Waking up to an empty bed the next day didn’t help how you felt about the weekend as you got ready to leave for work, catching a glimpse of the others asleep in the living room as you left.

The next few days were a blur of you barely being home and the guys hounding you to try and talk to you. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to them but you just didn’t have time anymore. You were quite literally spending the nights at the library as you stressed over the approaching midterms, you weren’t looking after your health, you were managing events for three different societies on campus and everything was just too much. It felt like there wasn’t enough time in the day to get everything done.

You weren't sure if it was a good thing that whenever you were home, the guys weren’t. You were somewhat grateful, not wanting to confront them. But at the same time, you were feeling lonely and guilty for not being there for the guys.     

It wasn’t long before the guys put there foot down.

As you entered the home on Friday evening, if the chatter was anything to go by, you could tell they were all home. At 2 pm. Mhm-mhm. This was not good.

“In here!” You heard Derek yell out, making it certain that there was no running away from this.

You take your time, putting your things away before going to the kitchen where the guys were standing around the counter, snacking on some chips and popcorn.

“Hey darling.” Aaron gave you a side hug, kissing your forehead. “We need to talk.”

“Let me give her a hug first!” Derek exclaimed before coming to you and pulling you into a bear hug, making your eyes water. You didn’t realize how touch starved you were until now. You hugged him back tighter, trying to keep your tears at bay.

“Oh baby.” Derek hugs you tighter when he feels your tears wetting his shirt as you bury your face in his chest.

“Is she okay?” You hear Spencer whisper, before you pull away and nod, going to stand by him and giving him a side hug.

“I’m okay, just tired. And missed you guys.” You mumble as Spencer pulls you into a proper hug.

“Turn her around Spence.” You hear Aaron instruct Spencer as he turns you around in his arms while still hugging you from behind.

“Before we start this discussion, we need you to know that we love you and this is not about us breaking up with you so don’t even let your brain go there.” Aaron gave you a look, knowing you would go to the worst-case scenario first. You nodded before speaking up, “I love you guys.”

Spencer kissed you head while Derek and Aaron gave you a smile.

“Honey, you have been pushing us away lately.” Aaron started with a sad smile.

“And you are almost never home.” Derek adds pointedly.

“Yeah… about that… I kind of took up a second job…” You cringe a little as they give you a look.

“And you are telling us that now? When did you start?” Derek asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“Why did you even get another job to begin with?” Spencer asks and you can hear the confusion in his voice.

You sigh as you start to explain. “My parents won’t be paying for my university anymore. They have given me access to the loan but I want to try and not use much from it.”

“You should have told us princess.” Aaron looks at you with a softened expression.

“You know we can help right?” Spencer speaks up.

“We earn more than we need anyway. We can help you pay for university.” Derek adds.

“But I don’t want you to do that. You guys already let me live here rent free.” You protest.

“I own the house, of course I’m not going to let you pay rent.” Derek shakes his head.

“Yeah but still! I don’t want to make you pay for my university too!” You protest.

“Because you feel like you owe us?” Aaron asks softly, making you look down. You don’t want to hurt them but if something were to happen in the future, you didn’t want to feel like you owed them. And university wasn’t cheap.

“What if you earn it?” Spencer asks.

“What do you mean?” You tilt you head back to look up before Spencer pulls away and turns to around again so you can look at him easily.

“Well, you look after the house when we aren’t home which takes away the burden of getting a house sitter. You keep everything clean while we are gone too and help us with chores during other times. This way, we will be paying for the chores and house sitting you are doing for us.” Spencer explains while everyone listens intently, Aaron and Derek nodding along.

“That’s actually a good idea. We can even come up with a pay rate for it. And if we come back from somewhere and the house isn’t clean, then we can deduct from that pay.” Derek adds.

“I agree. Does that sound fair to you darling?” Aaron speaks up as you lean on the counter, biting your lip as you contemplate.

“I mean… yeah I guess that sounds fair. But I still don’t love it.” You bite your lip nervously before Spencer pulls it out, kissing you cheek softly.

“You can still keep doing one of your jobs. We just don’t want you to overwork yourself sweetheart.” Aaron gives you a soft smile, making you smile at them.

“Gosh, how did I get so lucky with you guys.” You think out loud.

“I think it might have a lot to do with your word vomit during your field trip at the bureau.” Spencer teases, making you blush as you are reminded of the first time you met.

“Okay, now that that is cleared up, you need to regress.” Derek says with a somewhat stern look.

“I need to email my manager and hand in my two week notice first. And I have a meeting with my drama society execs tonight. So… I don’t think today is a good idea.” You explain.

“Well, get the email to your manager done. After that, you are eating a snack and then taking a nap before your meeting.” Aaron directs you, making you smile at the instructions.

“After that, the rest of the weekend is ours and you are not getting out of regression this weekend. And we are also making you a regression schedule so you have scheduled relaxation times.” Derek adds.

“We will try to be there as much as we can, but if we aren’t then we will constantly be checking in over call.” Aaron says, leaning forward on the counter.

“We also need to apologize.” Spencer interrupts. “Last weekend, it was supposed to be our weekend. You were amazing through out the weekend even though we seemed to have neglected to look after you the way we had planned.”

“Spencer is right. We should have been more attentive towards you last weekend.” Aaron adds, nodding. “We are sorry honey.”

“Yeah, babygirl. We should have done a lot better. Forgive us?” Derek gives you a soft smile.

“Hmm…” You act like you are thinking. “Only if I get to stay up tonight.”

“Nope. You can have an extra scoop of ice cream but bed time isn’t budging.” Spencer said right away while Aaron and Derek nodded in agreement.

“Okay fine.” You pouted playfully but giggled as Aaron attacked you with tickles, trying to run away as Derek tried to save you and Spencer joined Aaron in trying to tickle you.

The rest of your night was the best one all week. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐎𝐟𝐟-𝐃𝐮𝐭𝐲 | 10-24

"We're partners."

Tags/Warnings: Police Officer!Jungkook, Dog Hybrid!Reader, Partners to lovers?, Alternate law-system/made up laws, crime, futuristic, sci-fi, body-modifications?, Fluff, romance, angst, medical themes, injuries

Length: 4.5k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

A/N: the fic was supposed to end with thispart, as there seemed to be no more interest for it, but I decided against it haha

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You know your fate the moment you wake up.

From the apologetic looks of nurses to the sighs then leading doctor keeps making as he checks your reflexes- or lack thereof- you know that you’re done for. How will your life change? Will the carecenter at least be nice to you? How will you adapt?

Is Jungkook going to at least say goodbye to you?

You kind of.. Exist for an entire week in the hospital, not really interested in anything as they prepare you for your next surgery. Bodymods- Paid for by the government due to your outstanding work in the police force. It’s normal, a regular thing, you’ve heard about it all the time and you know somewhat that Jungkook was covered by the same program as you are right now- but Jungkook had had time to adjust. Hybrids, as far as you know, don’t get that time.

Because they take much longer to figure things out.

When you wake up after your surgery, you’re yet again alone. You see no familiar faces, only the nurses who keep trying to cheer you up, and you honestly feel bad for not reciprocating at least a smile every now and then. You feel horrible. Like a failure.

What’s going to happen to you?

It’s the day after your surgery, that something happens. Someone enters your room, and you believe it might be someone who’s been working with Jungkook recently due to his faint scent, maybe having been sent to give you some important notice or something- but when you turn around to look at who’s closing the door, bags rustling in his hand, you’re surprised to find Jungkook himself here.

“I’m sorry I only came now.” He apologizes quietly, putting the plastic bag down before he lets another black backpack slip from his shoulder down to the floor next to your bag. “There was.. Some stuff I had to take care of.” He says, and you nod, quietly.

Of course. He’s got to find a new hybrid now, after all.

“How are you?” He asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed near your legs, watching you. He looks tired- more exhausted than you are right now, clear fatigue on his face as he waits for an answer. You shrug, because that’s all you can offer. You’re physically doing good, surprisingly so according to the doctor who’s overseeing your condition, but mentally, you’re not sure. “You’ll be okay.” Jungkook offers, a hand on your leg feeling weird. You know its there, but its still an odd sensation.

“I’ll make sure of it.”

You stare at his hand on your leg, limbs tucked away beneath the blanket you’re sleeping under most of the time. “When will they pick me up?” You ask, and he frowns a bit, obvious sign of confusion on his side, before he realizes what you might be asking about. He shakes his head.

“They won’t.” He denies. “We’re partners, remember?” He offers, and you can’t help but feel your throat clog up and eyes sting as they fill with tears, forcing you to look away.

And then, he moves, gets up before he leans over the bed- hugging you close.

“We’re partners.” He whispers to you, while you can’t help but begin to cry- both in relief and also because he finally makes you feel safe enough to let it all out. “and we’ll stay partners.” He reassures you, hands softly holding you.

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It turns out that the reason Jungkook didn’t visit you for this long, was because he really did have to take care of stuff. That ‘stuff’ not actually being just finding a good place for your physical rehabilitation, but also adjusting his home so you can still somewhat move around freely. Everything is suddenly a lot more.. Open almost, not disconnected from you anymore. It feels like you’re actually supposed to live with him from now on, and not just alongside him any longer.

It’s odd.

Jungkook’s request for official ownership has been sent out despite the fact that he’s technically not yet eligible for it due to you both not having worked together for enough time. But he’s found a potential loophole, has made use of the fact that you got injured on duty and that he himself has to resign soon anyways- so with a bit of luck, and his good writing skills that described your situation and dedication towards your job in the past, he might just get it approved.

He hopes he will. He can’t imagine letting you go.

You’re on heavy medication, similar to how he used to be years ago when he got himself injured enough to require such a surgery. But bringing you back home into a familiar environment surely helped your sleep- your body knocked out on the couch with your legs close to his own. He’s watching TV when he notices them twitching while you dream- nerves still confused and healing as they adjust to the changes and new situation.

He’ll be there every step of the way- figuratively and literally.

Everyone wants to visit you- even Yoongi- but that’s too soon yet. Jungkook fears that it might overwhelm you to have people roaming around already, and also, he kind of wants to be selfish just for a little bit, and use this time to be for you who he’d wanted to be for so long. Not just a coworker- but a friend.

Because you deserve it.

His hand carefully help you turn onto your other side when you wake up itching to move into a new position to nap, and this time, you put your legs over his lap just to see what might happen. And he lets you, accepts them, even makes sure to try and comfort you when they begin to hurt a little later in the day. He doesn’t know if he will get the papers approved, but he also knows he’ll fight for it- so there’s no reason to keep you at an arm’s length anymore.

He can let you in.

Suddenly, you want to move again, whining for him to help once more as he makes sure not to cause you any harm as he helps you adjust your position once more. And as soon as he sits down again, a pillow of yours is slapped onto his lap, boldly so, before you pull yourself even closer, laying your head on his thighs. He’s got no choice but to lay one of his arms over your shoulder now, and you receive it well- even holding onto his hand in your sleep now, as he turns down the volume of the TV just a tad bit more so you can sleep better.

This is heaven to you.

This is who you would’ve loved to be- if your tail was working properly it would be wagging at a constant, heart warm at the way he finally offers so much gentle affection. You love your job- but you also love the idea of this maybe potentially being your future. Just a normal hybrid, nothing to fear, and nothing outstanding to expect from.

Just a normal life.

You turn around somewhat by yourself this time with some help of his to guide your legs, face now hidden in the soft fabric of his sweater, hands still holding his.

And he lets you.

Because, He honestly doesn’t want to let go either.

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Jungkook enjoys life like this- though he could most certainly do without you in a state of hurt and discomfort. The brace you wear currently for both your pelvis injuries and your new mods, so that they can heal properly and that the movement and possible disturbances are reduced to a minimum clearly limits your movement and makes you feel stiff- but its there to make sure you heal properly. You’re fidgety with it, and he knows you’re clearly not comfortable- but it’s necessary.

He’s trying hard to both distract you from it, and help you adjust to your new situation.

“See? You’ll get to swim a lot there.” He tells you, currently showing you the website of the rehabilitation place he chose. “I’ll be there too if you’d like. There’s trained people there too but-”

“I want you to!” You burst out, turning your head to look at him. “I’d.. Like if you’d go there with me.” You say more quiet now, noticing that he might not actually want that. What if he simply feels bad you got injured on a job with him? You never thought of this all potentially just being a fruit from his guilt and nothing more.

But be smiles, and nods, and maybe that’s enough for now.

“Listen..” He starts, closing the tab of the website for now to do something surprising- a gentle hug from where he’s got you sat on his lap, arms around you and chin on your shoulder, careful not to cause you any pain. “..even if it get’s declined, I’ll fight.” He says.

“Fight for what?” You wonder, and he’s quiet for a second, before he speaks again.

“Fight to stay at your side.” He mumbles. “They’re not taking you away from me like that. I know you want to stay, and you should have the right to do so no matter what.” He sighs.

“jungkook..” you start, unsure what to really say. He’s right that you want to stay with him, but does he know why? Your reasoning might not be what he thinks, considering he never really gave you any hint as to how he feels about you. You’ve got a crush on him basically- wouldn’t that make living here together make it unbearable for him? “I’m scared.” You admit.

He turns towards you right away.

“of what?” He worries, not sure what your problem is. Maybe the incident had left you with some more psychological trauma as well?

“..the future.” You say. “I don’t.. I don’t know if living here is such a good idea.” You tell him, and at that he becomes a bit nervous. You don’t know he has some deeper feelings for you. He’s kept it quite secret from you after all- so you don’t know. Right?

“What do you mean?” He asks back, eye contact not as strong as before.

“I don’t think I can.. What if you want to live with someone?” You ask, shrugging. “What if you.. Find someone you like, then what?” You worry.

“I won’t ever like someone as much as you.” He simply sighs, a bit relieved and hopeful he’s interpreting your words correctly. And from the way you look at him full of wonder, he knows he is- which makes him visibly relax now as he watches you. “I think.. As weird as it might sound..” He starts, shrugging as he helps you adjust your position a little, making sure your brace is still properly placed. “I always believed that we meet people for a reason. That I.. that we always got the jobs we did for a reason.” He explains. “From the little girl we found when she ran off a few years back, the veteran we made sure was safe when he was having a flashback, or even that last one.” He sighs. “I think, just maybe, things happen for a reason.”

“I like the idea of that.” You say, leaning into him to rest your head against his shoulder. “It sounds better than.. Having to accept that people are sometimes just plain evil.” You say, and he can pretty much feel you not only physically leaning into him-

But emotionally as well, as you relax in his hold.

“Hey, kook?” You wonder quietly, and hems his answer to you. “can you leave your.. room open, maybe?” You ask, and he nods.

“Of course.” He tells you. “I can also.. sleep in the living room. So you can see me when you keep your room door open- just in case you need something.” He offers, but you fidgety again.

“I kind of.. it’s not for that.” You deny. “just.. if we live together now.. “ you mumble, unsure how to say it, before you take a deep breath and rush it out before you can chicken out again. “I don’t wanna sleep alone anymore!” You say, eyes closed as you wait for the inevitable.

But instead, he just hugs you again, and softly laughs.

“Alright.” He simply agrees. “You could.. also just sleep in my room. My bed is big enough, after all.” He offers, and you turn around to look at him.

“wait- really?” You ask, and he nods.

“Really.” He nods, and at that, you both notice something remarkable happening.

Because despite everything you’ve both been told, and even though it’s very uncoordinated and weak-

Your tail starts to wag again.

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Despite Jungkook not getting proper rest due to you turning and waking up so much during the night, he still enjoys having you so close these days.

You often wake up sore or with pins and needles in your leg- most of the time just one, but sometimes, like tonight, it’s both. He’s tired, but he pushes through that as he helps you get through those tough episodes of your healing process, having given you your medication, before he began running his fingers and hands over your legs like he’s been taught at the hospital to help circulation.

He’s yawning, and so are you just seconds later. It’s a hard time for both of you- but you’ve got each other, and that makes it a lot more manageable.

And right now, after you’ve caught up on some of the lost sleep with a good nap on the couch in the living room, you’re floating in water with Jungkook holding your shoulders so your head doesn’t accidentally dip beneath the surface. He’s listening to the instructor while you do the same, moving your legs a lot more easily this way, as you work up your strength again with the aid of the pool you’re in. And, in a way, it’s also partially a good way to bond with Jungkook- at least in a more personal way compared to before. And you know that it’s more than just friendship- he’s clear in that department, just simply moving it slow, most likely until he knows if he can live with you permanently or not.

Which makes sense. He probably doesn’t want to make you feel worse than you have to if he doesn’t get it approved after all.

Still, you let yourself enjoy this made up dream for as long as it lasts. “You’re adapting a lot faster than other hybrids.” The instructor comments, watching how you kick the water the way he told you to- not very strongly, and a little uncoordinated, but there’s clear control over your legs. “I’m very sure you’ll be just fine by the end of the year.” He says, making you proudly look up at Jungkook, who smiles encouragingly.

You can take as much time as you need- he doesn’t mind one bit.

“I saw you had mods as well?” He asks Jungkook, who nods. “that’s good. A lot of the things you went through will most likely help her too in her recovery.” He informs him, and Jungkook smiles down towards you. “But it’s a good sign that she’s in such high spirit. Usually, hybrids tend to become very shut off and withdrawn, especially former police hybrids. It’s good that she’s got emotional support as well.” He comments, making your tail wag again beneath the water surface.

“well, she deserves it all.” He says, looking down at you with a fond smile-

And you feel like he really means it.

Later, you’re both stopping at a park just to unwind, but you don’t want to really get out of the car at all. The sight of all the people playing around, children running, hybrids having fun, just makes you feel way too melancholic. You’ll most likely never have this again. You’ll never be able to run like that ever again, no matter how hard you try. From now on, you’ll always have to be careful, always have to keep in mind not to overdo it, always have to make sure you’re not pushing any limits you now have.

Jungkook sighs. He’s most likely at a loss on what to do as well- and even if he was to ask you, you’re not sure if you could even tell him what could make you feel better.

“Here.” He suddenly says, catching your attention again as you’re sitting in the open trunk with him, watching the people at the park before you look at the phone he’s showing you. His phone- and there’s a video playing.

It’s him- he has a bit less tattoos clearly, and his hair is a lot longer, pulled back into a tiny little ponytail while he’s holding onto two bars set up at the sides. He’s unsteady, a lot of medical tape covering his back and neck, while he holds onto the bars for dear life, taking step after step in a hardly coordinated way. He’s concentrated, clearly.

“It took me months to take those steps.” Jungkook explains, swiping away into his gallery again to find other videos and images he shows you. “And at first, I really thought ‘that’s it’. I believed I’d have to just resign and accept the fact that I’m going to have to rely on help for the rest of my life.” He tells you, letting you scroll through the videos yourself. “But I got back up. It just took a little time.” He tells you.

“But that was you.” You disagree, giving him his phone back. “What if I can’t do that?” You worry, and he just reaches over to pull you into his side, running his hand up and down your arm in comfort.

“Then I’ll carry you anywhere you want to go.” He reassures you. “I’ll be your legs.”

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“Is there a reason you’re carrying her around?” Seokjin asks, watching you sit in the middle of the police headquarter’s training grounds, while Yoongi plays simple tug-of-war with you. Everyone can see that while he doesn’t outright show it, he is a lot gentler than he would usually be.

“She hates the wheelchair.” Jungkook sighs, sitting at the sidelines with his coworker. “And she’s still too weak to use crutches. So I carry her.” He shrugs, making Jin nod.

“Will she even ever walk again?” Taehyung curiously asks, not even aware that the question could hit a nerve for Jungkook- though he takes it lightly.

“She will.” Jungkook says with a final tone to it, shutting every different thought about the situation down. And he also makes it clear that he doesn’t allow any other opinion about it- or at least doesn’t want to hear it. He knows there’s a possibility you might not recover as well as he did, after all, hybrids tend to statistically have a harder time adapting to modifications than humans do. But Jungkook believes in you.

He knows if he doesn’t, you will stop believing in yourself as well.

He hears his name being called instantly and gets up even faster, as if his body reacts earlier than his brain can comprehend what he heard, walking towards you who’s still sitting in the grass outside. “She’s tired.” Yoongi chuckles from the side, leaving the toy in your lap as you hold onto the long bunny.

“I’m not.” You defend yourself. “But I.. do wanna go home for now.” You say, and Jungkook nods.

“Alright then. Up you go.” He jokes, as he positions himself in front of you for you to climb onto his back, so he can carry you out of the building and back into the car that you both take to drive back home. Only once you’re back in your bed is when you finally reveal to Jungkook why exactly you wanted to go home so suddenly.

“..can you maybe give me one of those painkillers?” You wonder quietly, and Jungkook nods, fetching your medication for you together with a bottle of water.

“I had them with me, you know?” He says as you take them, clearly in pain by now from the way you seem so stiff in your movements. “It’s not bad at all to admit when you’re hurting.”

“I know..” You mumble defeated. “I didn’t want Yoongi to feel bad or something. I had fun.” You say, and Jungkook smiles.

“I’m glad you did. But don’t overdo it.” He teasingly scolds, putting your water to the side for now. “You wanna nap alone, or should I stay?” He asks, and you look up at him hopefully. “Alright alright.” He laughs, easily able to interpret your subtle body language into proper answers by now. You instantly cling to him, bolder than ever before, and he’s a little suspicious about it. “You’re pretty cuddly today.” He comments, and you nod.

“Shouldn’t I be?” You wonder. “Do you not like that?” You ask, and he immediately denies that claim right away.

“No, I love it. It’s just sudden, that’s all.” He shrugs off, helping you adjust your position a little to lay even closer to him.

“I just don’t want to.. waste time. You know. If we do end up being unable to live together.” You mumble into his chest. “I don’t want to.. have to regret not using my time with you good enough, you know?” You explain, and he nods.

He understands this. After all, your words hold a lot of true meaning in them.

But for now, you both can pretend. That nothing is wrong, that you’re just two people, that you have all the time in the world.

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“I came as fast as I could. What’s wrong?” Jungkook worries, having left you at your physical therapy place for now when he’d gotten the text from Seokjin, who made sure to emphasize how urgently jungkook was needed.

“You might want to read this.” Seokjin says, handing him a letter that the younger officer opens to unfold it, and read what it’s about.

He has to sit down.

Letting it all sink in, Jungkook just sits in silence for a good moment, as he sets the letter down on the small plastic table that he sits at. “Yoongi is actually pretty upset over it.” Seokjin admits. “That’s why he’s not here today. He just doesn’t want to hear any of it.”

Yoongi has had a bit of a tough time bonding with you at first, as far as Jungkook knows. Yet over the course of time, you two had bonded very closely, like two pups of the same litter so to speak. He’d watched over you, had always made sure you’d feel included and valued even when you struggled at first to really find your place. And when you were paired with Jungkook, and that whole fiasco went down, Yoongi had been there too- to make sure you know that everything’s going to be alright.

And now, that all ends. Not right away- but it will.

Later, as he brings you home, he’s not sure how to really break those news to you. He doesn’t know how you’ll react to it, what you think about it- but he also knows that you’re already aware that something’s off about his behaviour. You’ve been trained to sniff out such things after all.

And you’ve always been damn good at your job.

You finished eating your dinner, when Jungkook presents the letter to you- having you read it, and make up your own mind about the contents of it. “I don’t.. Really understand.” You admit, giving the letter back to him. “What does that mean?” You ask with worry- which he understands fully. It is also worded quite complicated, so he doesn’t blame you for having trouble interpreting it all.

“Remember how I filed in for official ownership?” He asks, and you nod. “Well, it neither got denied, nor approved, basically.” At that, you tilt your head a little, confused. “Once you’re rehabilitated enough to return to basic service, we will basically resume our jobs until I fulfilled my time before retirement.” He explains, as you listen. “And then, they’ll transfer me to you, basically.”

“So, right now, I’m still belonging to the.. Police?” You wonder, still not quite getting it.

“No. Right now, you’re fully under my care, until you’re healed enough to get back to work. At least for regular patrol.” He tries again to make it even simpler to understand. “Once you do, we both resume work, until I have fulfilled enough time to retire since my mods prevent me from continuing service.” Jungkook says. “Right now, we’re basically on pause. Once we’re back in service, we work together until I retire together with you. And you’re automatically transferred under my name.”

“So.. Right now, we’re just.. Making sure I heal, and then we just get back to work? Until we both retire again in a year?” You ask, and he laughs, nodding.

“Essentially, yeah. It’s pretty complicated, but I guess it’s protocol.” He laughs.

“But that means.. We can’t be together anymore. Until we retire.” You worry.

“Not really. We can still be together, openly, as long as it doesn’t interfere with our work. You’ll have to take a test basically, and when you pass it, we’re good to go.” He explains.

“So.. I’m not useless?” You ask, and Jungkook’s face instantly falls.

“What? You were never useless, what do you mean?” He worries, pulling you closer to hug you. “What made you think that?”

“Because I can’t even walk right now. I can’t do anything.” You huff, clearly still upset with yourself.

“You can. And you’ll get better soon, promise.” He says. “They already praise you for your quick progress. They don’t just lie and say that to everyone, trust me!” He reassures you, while you cling closer to him. “For now, lets just enjoy the time we have. This isn’t a final decision yet, so there might even be a chance they decide otherwise and just let go of the year missing entirely.” He tells you, as you sigh.

“But we’ll stay together?” You ask, and he nods, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours with a smile.

“We’ll stay together.” He tells you.

“We’re partners after all.”

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 24

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 5k

Masterlist

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Thursday, December 17th; 7:00 PM - Ona and Alexia's Room.

I collapse face down on my bed as soon as I step into my room. All I can think about is being on vacation. It’s about to become reality. To be honest, I’m struggling to grasp that starting tomorrow, I’ll be home for two whole weeks. It feels strange, but it’s definitely going to do me good. These last few weeks have been intense, and I really need a break. I have a splitting headache from all the constant studying. It feels like a hammer pounding in my head without rest. I just got back from Bronze after studying for my last exam, which is tomorrow. I’m relieved to see the end in sight because it was turning into a real disaster. The pressure and anxiety of not succeeding took over, and I started working more than I should have. I felt like the study sessions at Bronze weren’t enough anymore. I became obsessed, to the point of breaking curfew multiple times to study late into the night. The lack of sleep started affecting my behavior. I became unintentionally aggressive, which caught the attention of my supervisor. She noticed the bags under my eyes and figured out what was going on. Let’s just say she gave me a good scolding. Her decision was final, no matter what I said. She took all my study materials out of my room to control my workload. She almost punished me, but she held back when she saw my state. Our relationship has taken another step forward. I think she’s changed since she asked me to call her by her first name outside of school. She’s more open than before. Sometimes, I even call her Lucy when our study sessions run late, and she doesn’t mind. It’s become much more pleasant to spend time with her. She’s reached the point where she can tell what I’m thinking or feeling just by observing me. It’s very unsettling to be read like that. When she realized my problem with studying, she immediately found the right words to reassure me. Ever since she took my things on Friday night, she’s been coming by my room every evening to make sure I get back into a good sleep routine. Still, I’m mentally exhausted. All these exams were too much, and I’m starting to miss my family. I haven’t seen them in a month, hence my eagerness for the holidays.

“Are you done with your revisions at Bronze?”

Alexia snaps me out of my drowsiness. I must have dozed off without realizing it because I didn’t even hear her come in. I groan when she flops down on my back without any consideration. She kisses my cheek before resting her head on mine. Without knowing it, Alexia has started to break down my boundaries around physical contact.

“I came to get you for dinner. You’re coming, right? The others are already there.”

“Yeah,” I mumble into my pillow. “I’m starving. But I’m coming back here afterward.”

“Don’t worry, I was planning on coming back here too.”

“Come on, get off me!” I say, wriggling. “I’m starving!”

I laugh as she teases me by pressing down on me even harder. She finally gets up, but not before giving my butt a playful slap.

“Hey!” I exclaim, feigning indignation.

“Oops,” she says with an innocent look.

I smile and roll my eyes. Without her, I would have probably sunk into a deep depression. I was so angry with Lucy that first night she took my stuff that I was mad at the whole world. Alexia was there that night, and since then, she hasn’t let a single evening pass without making me laugh. She helped me think about other things, and that’s how I came to understand Lucy’s actions. To succeed, I also needed to learn to let go and have some fun. And that’s what I’ve been doing with Alexia. We’ve relaxed a lot, and she even took the opportunity to share new stories from her childhood. I took the chance to tell her about my relationship with Mapi as well. I had promised her a while ago that I would talk about it, so I did. Alexia is someone I really appreciate. She’s strong, and she has such a contagious joy. With those thoughts in mind, we head to the cafeteria in good spirits.

“Have you heard from Mapi these last few days?”

“Not really. She’s also busy studying. Why?”

“Just wondering.”

I don’t press further as we enter the cafeteria. We grab our trays and join our friends who are already seated. I greet the people I haven’t seen yet today. Since our day in the snow, our group sometimes expands at meals with the addition of girls who joined the snowball fight the other day. That’s the case tonight with Ella and Alessia joining us. They’ve taken the usual spots where Ale and I sit, but we don’t mind and take the seats opposite them. Over time, I’ve learned that Alessia is actually Leah’s sister. I figured it wasn’t a coincidence that I get along so well with her. Looking back, I realize they have quite similar personalities. They’re both very calm and thoughtful. Alessia once confided that she thought I had a crush on her sister. I quickly reassured her that we’re just good friends and that it would never go beyond that. I focus on the conversation going around the table. It’s about our upcoming vacation. Everyone is really excited. I get it; I feel the same way. I’m starting to get impatient for tomorrow. I can finally breathe and see my loved ones again.

“Do you already have plans for New Year’s, Ona?” Alba asks me.

“Not really. I guess I’ll spend it with Mapi, but we haven’t talked about it yet.”

“See, I told you she’d already have something planned,” his sister comments.

“Well, technically, nothing’s set yet. Why?”

They exchange a knowing look before Leah decides to speak up.

“To be honest, we usually spend it together here in Manchester. We were hoping you’d join us if you didn’t have any plans.”

“Really? Where do you do it?”

“It’s at our place,” Alessia explains. “We live here, and our parents usually go celebrate New Year’s with their friends.”

“I see. Is this the first time you’ve done this?” I ask curiously.

“No, this will be the third year we’ve done it together,” Ale responds. “It’s the only holiday we can all spend together, so we make the most of it.”

I nod, understanding perfectly. This idea excites me a lot. It would be so cool to finally be able to spend an evening with them outside of school. It’s definitely better than spending a drunken night at Mapi’s friend’s place. Still, I don’t want to leave Mapi behind. We’ve barely spent any time together since I’ve been here. Besides, we’ve always celebrated New Year’s together ever since we met. I know she’s expecting us to spend this one together too. We don’t even need to talk about it to know that.

“I would love to come, but I can’t leave Mapi alone,” I share.

“Why don’t you bring her along?” Alba suggests.

“That’s true, it’s a good idea,” Ale adds. “I really want to meet her after everything you’ve told me about her. Do you think she’d agree?”

“I see why you suddenly asked if I’d heard from her,” I say with an amused smile.

“Yes, well,” she rolls her eyes with a knowing smile. “I wanted to know if you’d already talked about it. Seriously, would it be possible? It’s a bit of a crazy plan, but doable, right?”

“I don’t know. It’s going to be complicated. She has a girlfriend, and I doubt she’d want to celebrate without her,” I grimace. “I’ll ask her and see what she says. Anyway, I want to come, but not without her.”

“She seems important to you,” Lotte comments.

“Well… yeah. She’s my best friend, you know. She’ll always come first.”

“See, I told you she’d say yes,” Patri laughs. “It’ll be awesome if you come. You’re part of the group now.”

I smile sincerely at her. It’s true that I’ve really integrated into their group by now. They’ve been very welcoming from the start, unlike me, who only did things my way. Now, it’s very different. A real friendship has formed between them and me. I was about to respond when someone taps me on the head with an object that echoes above me. I instinctively duck my head to avoid the attack, even though it doesn’t really help. When I try to turn around to see who it is, two large hands on my shoulders stop me.

“What has Mapi done now?”

I relax and lean back against Lucy, recognizing her voice. I expected to see her tonight before curfew.

“Nothing,” I giggle. “We were talking about New Year’s.”

“Oh. I thought you’d heard from her.”

“Briefly this morning, to talk about tomorrow. By the way, she sends her regards,” I say, lifting my head to finally see her.

“That’s nice of her.”

“Yeah. Did you want something specific?”

“I wanted to return the pen you left on my desk. It would be a shame to take your last exams without it, right?”

I smile as I take it back when she dangles it in front of my nose. What would I do without her? Probably not much. I can’t say it’s my lucky pen because I don’t believe in that sort of thing. However, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to change their habits once I’ve found something that works for me. That’s exactly how it is with this pen. I would have been frustrated to have to use another one for my last exam.

“Oh, thanks! You didn’t have to. Are you also returning my notes?”

“You need to stop taking advantage of my kindness. I’ll give them back tomorrow.”

“What kindness?” I laugh. “I’m old enough to manage my own sleep schedule.”

“No, you’re not. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have taken your notes.”

I sigh, crossing my arms. Well, I can’t complain too much. It’s true that she’s become nicer than before, even though she still treats me like a kid in some ways. It’s really frustrating, but I guess I’m partly to blame. She knows why she’s keeping my stuff. I would have been tempted to study tonight otherwise.

“Fine, I’ve recovered,” I protest.

“Ona,” she scolds. “I should make you run laps to tire you out tonight.”

“Actually, I think I’ll be fine,” I grimace.

“That’s what I thought. Everything will be fine, anyway. You’re ready.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “If you say so.”

“I do say so,” she confirms. “Alright, I’ll come by your room before curfew.”

“Wait,” I quickly try to stop her.

“What? Hurry up, Engen is waiting for me.”

I turn to see that, indeed, she’s waiting at their table. I’m not used to sitting with my back to them. I like being able to see Lucy when we’re eating at the same time.

“Ona?” she calls out.

“Sorry… Um… Actually, I have a headache. I was wondering if you could bring me an aspirin or something?”

“Is it just a headache?” she frowns.

I smile when she instinctively places her hand on my forehead. Since my withdrawal and the flu, she worries about every little thing I might have. Well, it’s true that I’m still a bit fragile, but not to that extent.

“I just have a migraine. It’s probably from the studying.”

“And you dare ask me to give back your notes?”

“Oh, come on,” I say, feeling my cheeks flush slightly. “Can you bring me something then?”

“I’m not a walking pharmacy, but I’ll bring you something later.”

“Cool, thanks! And enjoy your meal.”

"Thanks, same to you."

She ruffles my hair before heading back to her table. I place my pen on the tray and watch it for a moment. My smile widens at the thought that she really knows me well.

"Well, you've got quite the bond," Patri chuckles.

"Hmm, if you say so," I shrug.

"It's true," Ella insists. "You're the only student she treats like that."

"We also spend a lot of time together," I shrug again.

"That's for sure," Ale laughs. "You're with her more often than with me!"

"Yeah, anyway, can we get back to the New Year's topic? If you want, we can call Mapi together later," I suggest.

"Oh yeah! That's a great idea, that way we can ask her directly!"

"That's exactly what I was thinking."

Even from a distance, my best friend manages to be loved. I'll keep to myself the fact that Mapi was jealous of Ale at first. She joked about it, but I know she was genuinely jealous. Still, I have no doubt they would get along. They're both so wild when they want to be, and it could cause some real chaos.

"By the way, how does Bronze know her?" Ale arches an eyebrow.

I freeze at her question. Damn, I hadn’t thought about that. You can’t really say they know each other. They’ve only talked once when I had a rough night. Otherwise, it often happens that Bronze comes to my room when I’m on the phone with her on the weekends. So, they greet each other, and sometimes they even tease each other (usually about me).

"Oh, well, you know, we often talk on the weekends, so Bronze hears me talking to her," I shrug.

"Hmm, hmm," she replies skeptically. "I must be missing out on some interesting stuff on the weekends."

"Not really," I laugh nervously.

Great, Ona. Very convincing. If she knew I often sneak out of school thanks to Bronze, I have no doubt she’d have something to say about it.

"Well, I’m done. I’m going back to the dorm. I can’t stand my headache anymore."

"Yep, I’ll join you soon."

I nod and wish everyone else a good evening before leaving the table. I clear my tray and then head out to face the cold. I hesitate for a moment to take the emergency exit to get there faster, but Bronze would kill me if she found out. So, I force myself to take the main entrance. I regret this choice when I hear the noise coming from the common room. Someone forgot to close the door. It makes me realize how disrespectful students can be. They struggle to understand they’re not alone. I escape the noise by going upstairs to avoid worsening my migraine. When I get to the room, I decide to shower immediately so Ale will have space when she returns. In the meantime, she comes back to tell me that she changed her mind under the influence of the others and is heading back down to the common room for a bit. At least I’ll have some time alone. Or so I thought until I come face to face with Bronze as I’m leaving the bathroom.

"You scared me!"

"Sorry, I was looking for you," she smiles softly.

"No problem..."

"Here, for your migraine."

"Oh, thanks... Wait, let me find a sweater first, I’m cold."

"You’re not getting sick again, are you? You’re trembling like a leaf."

"I don’t think so. I’m just cold," I say as I grab a sweater from the closet.

The shower had warmed me up, but the room is cold compared to the sauna I created in the bathroom. Let’s just say that shorts and a T-shirt aren’t enough in these circumstances.

"Your lack of sleep probably isn’t helping."

"Stop blaming everything on that. Don’t forget I’ve only lived in hot countries."

"Hmm..." she says skeptically.

"Anyway, I’m on vacation starting tomorrow at eleven. I’ll have two long weeks to sleep."

"That’s true."

I first put down my phone and computer before going over to her to take the pillbox and a small bottle of water she thoughtfully brought me. I quickly swallow a pill with a few sips of water.

"Can I keep them?"

"Only the bottle. You know the rules."

She smiles at me sympathetically. It’s clear that it’s not safe to leave a pillbox with a former addict.

"It’s not like I’m going to get high."

"You could be capable of it. Now, give me the box."

I don’t argue and hand it back to her before slipping under my blanket. Without asking her opinion, I turn on my computer. I squint, noticing that Lucy doesn’t seem to want to leave.

"Are you planning to stay here for a while?"

"No."

She grabs my desk chair and places it between the two beds before sitting down. I look at her skeptically.

"I’d like to talk about tomorrow."

I frown, not understanding where she’s going with this. She leans back in the chair and crosses her arms.

"For two things. First, how do you feel about the exam?"

I sigh and shake my head. She’s not going to let this go. I had a moment of panic, and now she’s back on my case.

"I’m not trying to bother you. I can tell you’re stressed, which is why I’m asking."

"Who wouldn’t be stressed in my position? I’m a little bit, I admit. But it’s not because of the exam. Well, the dice are cast since it’s the last one... I’m scared because I don’t know if I’ve passed or not."

She nods understandingly. I bite my lip and look down. I feel ridiculous for being so worried over something so minor.

"Hey. No matter the result, you can’t say you didn’t give it your best shot. Okay?" she asks, placing her hand on my leg to get my attention.

"A little bit, maybe. I should have worked harder from the start."

"You were lost back then, and now you have regrets. That’s completely normal, but don’t forget that since then, you’ve pulled yourself together. You’ve made the necessary effort to catch up, so let me tell you... You have nothing to blame yourself for, understand?"

I sigh, nodding slowly. She always has the right words, it’s incredible.

"I get it... I’ll try not to torture myself over it anymore. What’s the second thing?"

"Your return home."

"Lucy," I groan. "I’ll behave, I promise."

"I’m just asking you to be reasonable, OK? Don’t feel obligated to go to parties if you don’t want to, and if there’s any issue—"

"I’ll come talk to you, I promise," I finish for her.

"Good," she sighs. "It’s time for you to sleep."

"No, please. I’d like to call Mapi first. I have something to sort out."

"Alright," she concedes. "You have half an hour. Then you turn everything off."

"OK."

"And in case you’re wondering, I plan to stay here to make sure of it."

"You can’t be serious," I groan. "I don’t need a babysitter."

"You’ll have to deal with it. I want to make sure you sleep on time tonight."

"Who says I won’t have a private conversation with Mapi?"

"Is that the case?"

"Not particularly... The others suggested spending New Year’s here with Mapi. I wanted to ask her about it. It’s a good idea, right?"

"Hmm," she says unconvincingly.

"At least you won’t be far if there’s a problem," I tease.

"I’ll probably have something better to do than look after you during that evening, you know."

"True... I thought you’d be happy about it," I say, opening the FaceTime app. "I’m at least reassured that you won’t be far."

"If you’re reassured, it means you still don’t trust yourself. Anyway, it’s definitely better than a party full of strangers."

"It’s not the best, that’s for sure. I’ve never really liked those kinds of places anyway," I shrug.

"Then why do you go? To put on a show?" she laughs.

"I don’t know. To have fun, I guess. Isn’t that what everyone does when they go to those kinds of places?"

"I guess. I don’t know. I’ve always found those parties stupid."

"Is it just me, or does this topic seem to annoy you?"

"It doesn’t."

I lift my head from my screen to smile at her. It does annoy her for some reason. I know she won’t elaborate, but she could at least be honest.

"You don’t want me going to those kinds of parties, do you?"

"I’d prefer you didn’t, indeed," she admits.

"Alright, you win," I roll my eyes. "If I stay in Barcelona for New Year’s, it’ll be my last party. Is that okay?"

"Wasn’t that already the plan? You promised me you wouldn’t go to any more parties after what happened last time."

Thinking about it, I realize she’s right. I’m not supposed to go to any more parties. I bite my lip, wondering how she managed to get her way. She has such an influence on me that it’s becoming scary. However, with her recent reaction, I can’t tell if it’s because she wants what’s best for me or because she has particular issues with parties. Maybe it’s both.

"I still get New Year’s, though... right?"

She rolls her eyes with a small smile.

"I told you to just be reasonable. Isn’t that clear enough?"

"Thanks..." I exhale. "You scared me for a moment."

"Use these holidays to clear your head and stop thinking about school."

"That’ll be hard. I’ll miss your orders."

"Be glad to be away from my demands. I must be annoying to you," she says, making me laugh. "What’s so funny?" she frowns.

- "I don’t find you annoying. You're just straightforward, and I was serious when I said I'm going to miss you. No one cares about me like you do. By the way, I hope I can write to you during the holidays..."

- "We'll see if I reply," she teases me.

A ringtone interrupts our conversation. I frown as I see an incoming call from my best friend. I was about to call her, but it's surprising that she's calling since we weren’t supposed to talk tonight.

- "Excuse me. I have to take this."

- "Go ahead, you’ve got fifteen minutes left," she reminds me.

I nod, pressing the green button and bringing the phone to my ear. With my other hand, I close my laptop, which is now useless.

- "Hey Maps, I was just about to call you."

- "Hey bonita," she replies in a small voice.

- "Oh! What’s wrong?"

- "Nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you."

- "Don’t lie to me. I know you."

- "There’s nothing wrong."

- "Okay... if you say so..."

I squint as I see Lucy smiling. I nod to silently ask her what’s going on. In response, she just smiles wider.

- "What?" I say at the same time Mapi sighs.

- "Huh?"

- "Sorry, I wasn’t talking to you," I say, which makes Lucy laugh.

- "Are you with someone?"

- "Yeah... with Bronze. She’s playing babysitter."

- "Oh, I’ll let you go then."

- "No!" I quickly respond. "It’s not like she can hear you. Tell me what’s wrong. I know something’s up. I can feel it."

There’s a moment of hesitation where she stays silent. She takes a long breath. This is starting to worry me. Lucy seems to understand the situation from the way she looks at me. I suddenly sit up straight when Mapi bursts into uncontrollable sobs. If she’s crying, then something is really wrong. The only other time I’ve seen her cry was when I told her it was over between us.

- "Hey, Maps... What’s going on?" I say softly, not wanting to upset her.

- "Ana," she says. "She dumped me, Ona... Ana dumped me," she repeats desperately.

I part my lips in surprise. I didn’t see that coming... I regret not being by her side right now. Her sobs get louder, and there’s nothing I can do to calm her down. I can’t believe they’re no longer together. I really thought their relationship would last based on how she talked about her. I never really knew how she felt after I left, but hearing her now, I don’t even want to know. I run my hand over my face, trying to keep my composure.

- "Maps, I- It’s going to be okay, alright? I’m coming home tomorrow. I’ll be in Barcelona around eleven PM. You can come with Hector, or you can wait for me at home, okay?"

- "I really thought she was the one, Ona. I finally managed to have a serious relationship again, and she dumped me like trash. Damn it!"

I close my eyes, hearing the loud noise she’s making on the other end. I don’t know what she’s doing, but it doesn’t sound good.

- "Mapi..."

- "What’s going on?" Lucy asks me.

I sigh, covering the phone’s microphone to explain the situation to her. Lucy asks for my phone. I hesitate for a moment before giving it to her.

- "Hey Mapi, it’s Bronze."

I hate myself for doing this, but Lucy is definitely better at handling these situations than I am. I tend to be clumsy with my words and never know what to say. Unlike me, Lucy knows how to handle things. She does it with me, and now she’s doing it with Mapi. She’s calming her anger and reassuring her. It feels like I’m listening to her talk to me when I need her support. Lucy’s words seem to have the desired effect because I can’t hear Mapi yelling from where I’m sitting anymore. She continues talking to her before handing the phone back to me.

- "She wants to talk to you."

I quickly take the phone where I can already hear my best friend calling me.

- "Yeah, it’s me," I reply.

It seems like her crisis has passed. She’s still sniffling a bit, but she’s not crying anymore.

- "I understand why you think she’s so great."

- "I never used those words," I chuckle lightly to ease the situation. "But you’re right."

- "You don’t have to say it. It’s obvious when you talk about her."

- "Let’s not talk about that now. Are you going to be okay?"

- "Hmm," she sighs. "I have to be. I have one of my most important exams tomorrow. I just needed to hear your voice... I’ll come to the airport tomorrow. I want to see you as soon as possible."

- "Alright. I’ll tell Hector to pick you up then."

I see Lucy tapping her watch. She gave me thirty minutes, and I guess they’ve passed.

- "Are you going to stay over?"

- "Of course, if you don’t mind. I think I’ll need your arms, if it’s not too much to ask."

- "Of course not. Go rest now. Bronze wants me to hang up."

- "Bossy, huh?" she giggles slightly, which reassures me about her state. "I thought curfew was at ten PM? It’s only quarter past nine where you are, right?"

- "It’s complicated. I’ll explain when I get back."

- "Don’t tell me you’re having insomnia again?" she questions. "I thought it was over since you hadn’t mentioned it."

- "I was, but not for the reasons you think."

- "Hmm..." she replies skeptically.

Now’s not the time to talk about my problems, especially not in front of Lucy. For now, she’s the one who needs reassurance. I don’t want her to start feeling sorry for herself like I did.

- "I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, Maps."

- "Goodnight, Onita. Thank you, and thank your supervisor too."

- "I was planning to. Kiss."

I hang up and place my phone on the nightstand. As for my laptop, I put it on the floor, too lazy to get up and put it in the cupboard.

- "Thanks... I didn’t know how to handle that."

- "It’s no big deal."

I don’t have time to reply as the door opens, revealing Alexia. She’s no longer surprised by Lucy’s regular presence.

- "I’m back," she says before grabbing pajamas from her closet. "Are we calling Mapi again?"

- "I just talked to her on the phone. I didn’t have time to ask her about New Year’s."

- "You can chat tomorrow morning. It’s time to sleep now, Ona," Lucy announces to me.

- "I’ll go take my shower then," Ale says. "Goodnight."

- "Goodnight," I reply.

I lie down in bed, looking at Lucy. I think I’m hallucinating when she takes my laptop and phone.

- "Don’t tell me you’re taking those with you?"

- "Yes. I should have thought of this earlier. Have you used them this week?"

- "Of course not," I groan. "You’ve checked on me every day!"

- "Hmm. Come on, I was serious. It’s time to sleep."

- "Are you planning to stay?" I’m surprised.

- "Yes. I want to make sure you sleep."

- "That’s ridiculous," I mutter. "You’re getting too serious about this."

- "Go to sleep."

I roll my eyes and eventually turn my back to her, wrapping myself in the blanket. The good thing is that my headache has finally gone. The bad thing is that Lucy’s presence is unsettling, even when I close my eyes. Sleeping is impossible. Especially with all the noise I hear when Alexia comes back into the room. She seems to be trying not to make any noise, but it’s not enough. I want to complain, but Lucy beats me to it by asking Ale to go to bed. A few minutes later, the light goes out, plunging us all into darkness. I roll over to the other side now that it’s dark and I can’t see Lucy watching me. I know she’s still there; otherwise, I would have heard the sound of the chair. Time passes, and I can make out Alexia’s steady breathing. My mind is too agitated, and it’s starting to annoy me. I sigh heavily, admitting defeat.

- "I can’t sleep," I mutter, rubbing my eye.

- "And then you wonder why I’m still here," she jokes.

- "It’s not funny," I sigh, sitting up.

- "Stay in bed. Curfew has passed."

- "Am I allowed to go to the bathroom?"

She sighs but lets me go. I make sure not to take too long so she doesn’t get impatient. I wash my hands before returning to bed under her watchful eyes.

- "What are you going to do during your vacation?" I murmur.

- "Talking won’t help you fall asleep," she says, annoyed.

- "It might help."

- "No, it just distracts you. We’ll have plenty of time to talk when I take you home tomorrow."

- "You’re taking me to the airport?"

- "Yes, Ona."

- "Cool. I prefer it when it’s you."

- "Don’t get any ideas. It’s just because I’m leaving at the same time as you."

- "Hmm."

I smile even though she can’t see it. Even if it’s the truth, I don’t care about the reasons. I just focus on the fact that she’s the one taking me home, even though she doesn’t have to. I understand now why she wanted to handle my departure reservations. I thought it was to take the burden off me.

- "Thanks," I say.

- "Okay, that’s enough. You’re starting to annoy me by being so awake. If you talk again, I’m really going to make you run laps. Am I clear!?"

- "Oh, come on, calm down," I grumble. "I’ll sleep."

- "I hope so. Goodnight."

- "Goodnight..."

I smile as I finally turn my back to her. I try now to clear my head and pretend she’s not there. This last solution seems to work this time because I finally feel myself drifting off.

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Flower Moon in Sagittarius ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Yo! Full Flower Moon in Sag was on 23rd May; have you started to feel more light, more confident, more sure-but-chill in the trajectory of your Destiny? Sagittarius is the ruler of the 9th House of philosophy and the foundation of politics…but I dunno why lately I’ve been getting this notion of ‘destiny’ attached to it🤷🏻‍♀️

I think it’s just the time we’re living in~ This year, is the year so many Lightworkers and Starseeds get on with their real missions, and sure, more of the general public are also coming to awakening. Since the ‘battle’ ahead is going to take a toll on many of us both on the spiritual and material levels, the Higher Realms are making sure all of us warriors of Light basic needs are met first. You see, Light is essentially information. The body uses a lot of energy to digest Light—to digest information. Light needs to be integrated well with your cells for it to be useful at all.

With this beautiful Full Flower Moon in powerful and passionate Sag, all of our dreams of material abundance are flowering and blooming majestically with the natural rhythm of the Divine Order. Dance, children. This is a time to fully immerse yourself in feeling abundant, safe and stable, knowing that this security is only getting stronger and realer as the weeks and months go by! <3

Romance, friendship, community, company and communication; all of that is rolling out for everybody as we celebrate the end of the spring faery magick. This summer, fears and anxiety are completely dissolved in the salt waters. Play around, babe <3 Sleep and rest as much as you like. You’ve done so well! You’re been strong for so long, so now you can be soft with yourself~🧸

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Pile 1 – Not Butting In On Other People’s Karma Nomo

a u t h o r i t y – 10 of Cups

Babe, I think this season you’re finally coming to a realisation that you deserve to be surrounded by a Soul Tribe and Soulmates. Like I’m seeing you’re no longer interested in settling for people whose hearts are not connected to you, those whose values clash with your own. You’ve learnt the hard way just how exhausting it is to be involved in other people’s drama. Originally, it’s not like you yourself are that much into drama. Or if you did before, you’ve grown up enough to not want it anymore~

Right now, you’d much rather be in your own company and figure out ways to connect with your core again. There’s a lot of soul-searching that’s needed for now. All of the habits—and ways of thinking—you’ve absorbed from other people are being flushed out at this moment. I think it’s more like you’re weaning off their influences LOL What’s truly important right now is your own peace of mind. You’re sure from the depths of your heart that this is the real way to manifest a Soul Tribe <3

s u p r e m a c y – 3 of Cups Rx

~supremacy over your own self-defeating tendencies/inclinations/habits~

Unlike the other Piles, your supremacy over yourself this season is more about your sense of freedom in pursuing interests and activities, even studies, that genuinely suit your tastes. You’ve sacrificed enough of your physical and mental energy, as well as your creative and spiritual aenergy on being there for other people. Now you’re saying no. You’re in the midst of building a healthy boundary. Some of you could have been doing this for a while now and this is your confirmation that you’re managing just fine! Don’t doubt yourself <3

Seems like quite a number of you could have doubts every now and then…wondering if you’re turning into an antisocial bitch for choosing to be alone and saying no to helping people or attending social gatherings—or not replying to chats immediately XD So, this is your confirmation that protecting your peace and sanity is not selfish in a bad way. Maybe it’s a bit antisocial or whatever but it’s not like you’re hurting people? You’ve got to work on some things on your own, right? So that’s alright.

PsychicBigSis on YouTube says, ‘Protect your energy, even when it gets lonely~’😏

p h i l o s o p h y – 10 of Wands Rx

Yup, this philosophy is all about you realising that people can only be responsible for their own consumption and manifestation. If you consume shit media and entertain shit ways of thinking, then you manifest shit Reality as well. Now you understand that you can’t save people from the hell of their own making. Their own mindsets and what they choose to entertain are what’s creating their Reality. You understand now that you want no part in it.

Because, babe, you know from the depths of your Soul that you’re meant for a much better Reality. A Reality of abundance and glory and happy, where you get to be authentic and comfortable in your own skin. One way or another, I think your Spirit Guides have sent you an understanding on how bad it is to be involved in other people’s karma. Now you understand people can only resolve their own bad karma because that is their lesson.

If you haven’t necessarily come across this notion, I kinda think Sadhguru prolly has something meaningful to say about it <3

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – True Love’s Kiss Rooted in Self-Worth

a u t h o r i t y – 5 of Pentacles

Oh ma god, babe! What kinda heartbreak have you been through recently? Or maybe it’s an old wound that hasn’t fully, completely healed? But anyway, I’m seeing you rise above these heartaches. More like, you’ve transformed the way you think about these things. About human connections, relationships and friendships, including the essence of a familyship, of course. The betrayals and/or abandonment you’ve experienced have truly taught you that you deserve a soulmate-shit relationship and friendships! <3

You’ve learnt the hardest way that wrong friendships could destroy your Life! For some of you, maybe your past relationships or friendships weren’t necessarily socially wrong or whatever but being with the wrong people destroyed your heart; it destroyed your faith in people; and it’s such a sad thing. You’re now on your way to healing, fully, from those pains. This Flower Moon is assisting new seeds of trust and companionship to bloom in your heart. Everything’s gonna be beautiful again in the end, I promise you ^_~v

s u p r e m a c y – 2 of Cups

~supremacy over your own self-defeating tendencies/inclinations/habits~

See? 2 of Cups is a soulmate card whose focus is on an equal give and take. With the right people, you won’t even have to ask because they’re always giving Love to you anyway. It’s not to say that we should disregard real, direct communication, but more about how we, when in the company of the right people, will never feel like we have to ask for the bare minimum. This reading is basically trying to convince you that you’re not asking for too much when you ask for soulmate-flavoured connections HAHAH

It will be given to you. Because you have asked the Universe for it. Because you have done what’s necessary to transform your own point of view. Because now you want it and believe that you’re deserving of it. It will be yours~ Sorry, bitch, I didn’t make the rules. That’s just how the Law of Assumption(?) works ;P You ask for it, you work towards it, you believe in it, you get it. Not settling for any less than IT anymore. Keep your gaze at IT, vibrations high and standards even higher <3

p h i l o s o p h y – 8 of Cups

This part is probably gonna repeat some things, after all, your current aenergy is quite straightforward. You’re basically learning that it’s OK to leave behind connections that no longer fulfil you on an emotional level. For some of you, especially if you’re a Fire-dominant person, it seems like you’ve truly learnt to separate your expectations of a professional relation from a personal connection. I think you’ve come at a point where you no longer expect a deeper connection with somebody you’re just working with, and you’re fine with it.

You’re patient enough to wait for a true Soulmate friend or group of friends that will prove to be ‘your people’ until the very end. You’re also patient enough to wait for a True Love’s kiss from a divine being who values themselves completely and healthily the way you’ve learnt to value yourself. You may not really know how you’re gonna connect with these people; you just believe that when the time is right, the Universe is gonna take care of everything <3

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – The Wheel of Fucking Fortune Fucking Turning Around, Bitch~

a u t h o r i t y – Page of Pentacles Rx

Who’s been trying to tackle you, bitch? You had massive enemies, didn’t ya? There’s been this huge-ass envy aenergy targeted towards you and your spiritual progress to a point where it was messing up your physical manifestations? Your studying and healing and spiritual rehab and creating new pathways were all jammed by negative thought-forms? Damn, you survived all of that tho? Here you are feeling better than ever and I know that you know that I know that YOU know you’re coming on TOP of your Game!

And you’re just fucking started. No, no, this isn’t the end of your story. This is the end of a fucking ARC. And your aenemies—yup, with an ‘ae’ coz they’ve been up in your aenergetic ass the whole time LMAO—are somehow getting this ANNOYING inkling that you’re coming together with your greatest Destiny! I think…your aenemies are getting this inkling by observing every single thing that’s going wrong in their own lives LMAO Bitch, bad juju backfiring!

All of the fuckers who’ve wished harm and even death upon you are seeing those very wishes manifesting in their own lives ROFLMAO

s u p r e m a c y – 8 of Pentacles

~supremacy over your own self-defeating tendencies/inclinations/habits~

The way I see it, whether or not you’re still seen or in contact with those old stale farts, they somehow know that you’ve been working so hard at transforming your Life and that things are changing for the better. This message I think will resonate more for those of you who have a social media presence or friends/relatives who are talking to each other or something like that. But even if you’re currently living a completely solitary Life, it could be that your aenemies have been getting dreams about you; probably seeing you shine and be happy and successful or something. It could be a very intuitive thing like that.

At this point in time, it’s possible they could’ve changed as a person themselves and some of them are regretting their actions in the past. Many of them who are thinking about you are admitting loudly, NOW, that they’ve always seen you as a hardworking, honest, decent person who wouldn’t slight another person. And they’re bitterly—very bitterly—realising that this is why the Universe is rewarding you for all of the hard spiritual work you’ve done on yourself for yourself, and those whom you genuinely care about who’ve also genuinely got your back.

p h i l o s o p h y – 5 of Cups Rx

So, your aenemies messed up your chances to get your fortune cookies? Fret not, bitch <3 The Universe is in an active phase of sending you a million boxes of fortune macarons straight from the ‘authentic French confectionary’ section of the Cosmos! Take that! <3 What even is this illustration? XX’D

Some of your milder enemies (if that’s even a thing) are prooobably gonna try and get on your good side now that you’re proving yourself ‘useful’ to them again. This reading is advising you not to take anybody back, babe. ANYBODY. These people wished so much harm on to you once, what makes you think they wouldn’t do it again?

Trust that you’re ABSOLUTELY NOT missing out on anything by excluding these stinky-ass bitches from your blessed Life. If you’re gonna spew that Love & Light bullshit first, spew it on yourself first so you can shield yourself from what is NOT Love & Light. You got that?

If you’ve chosen this as your main pile, you’ve gotta check out PsychicBigSis on YouTube because her collective messages could have meaningful revelations for what you’ve been dealing with <3

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[bendycxmet]

Under Your Spell Pt. 2—Vash the Stampede

Summary: Secrets out. Now how does Vash top his previous stream? You have some ideas.

Word Count: ~4.5k

Pairing: gn!reader x camboy!Vash the Stampede

Content: sexual content, nsfw, 18+ MDNI!, handjob, blowjob, edging, voyeurism, whiny vash, teasing reader

a/n: once again, a special order for @biancalattei and @awkwardchick87.

|masterlist| |Part 1|

a large whiteboard sat between you and vash in your living room, markers thrown to the side for twenty minutes now since you both started arguing.

“i’m telling you they’ll love it! baby, it’ll be so hot trust me i know what you guys like-”

“vash, i am being so serious when i tell you the fans will not want to see you fucking me. they are fans for the sole reason that you look sexy jacking off and pleasuring yourself. it would rip them out of their fantasies if they see the gorgeous man they watch every week pleasure someone who is not them. at least for me it would.”

after what you can confidently say was the most dramatic reveal of vash’s side hustle, vash had the genius–and brave–idea to include you in one of his streams as a special guest. a collab if you will. as one of his top supporters, he fully believes this could light a fire under his fans and any potential subscribers, depending on how viral this stream could go in the camming community. a fire you tentatively stoke during your brainstorming session, preventing it from turning into an absolute dumpster fire from vash’s brash ideas. 

the night you found each other in the hallway after the stream was emotionally exhausting. the rollercoaster of emotions you went through–embarrassment, shock, trepidation tinged with enthusiasm, and most of all, hope and excitement at a new step in your relationship with vash. you were also physically exhausted that night, repeating what you had done in the stream and wearing the control you had on him thin, finally snapping after denying vash his release for the third time. the shower was hastily shut off and he toted you off to his bedroom, rivulets of water trailing behind you, wetting the sheets as you two went for several rounds, only stopping when you had become essentially boneless. 

you take a deep breath, mentally fanning the memories away before you have the slight idea of tackling vash to the floor. besides, you and vash haven't broached the subject of what exactly you two are now, out of fear of potentially ruining what you both have carefully curated? ruining your relationship? who knows. 

“let’s remember why you stream. you wanna show how good you feel to your fans, right? and they eat it up every time. i propose we stick to that blueprint, but now, you have someone there to do all the work for you, and you can sit back and just give the people what they want–your reactions.” you tilt your head, questioning if he catches your drift. all he does is imitate you, looking like a curious puppy. you continue. “what if, shoot me down if you want, i’m the one to take you there? blowjob, handjob, what have you, but you can’t touch me. i know you like to be under someone else’s control in some way, having the decisions made for you so you can take a mental back seat. so my second idea would be to tie you to the chair. what do you think?”

vash only looks at you with wide eyes that are full of reverence, shuffling in place. you’re guessing your idea is already affecting him, slyly smiling at him. “i never doubted you for a second mayfly, always the intelligent one between us both.” he gives you a toothy grin. “let’s do it. i have a couple ideas of my own.”

“i’m not doing this naked!” you blurt out.

he shakes his head. “of course not. i would never ask that of you, unless you’re comfortable with it. besides, seeing you like that is reserved for my eyes only.” he fixes his searing eyes on you, undressing you in the moment. 

“ok, now question is how and when do we do this-”

“obviously tonight.” you blankly stare at him, opening your mouth, ready to disagree. you were not mentally prepared. he reaches for your hands and places a reassuring kiss to your knuckles. “gotta strike while the iron is hot right? it’ll be a nice surprise for everyone, considering how much fun we all had last week.” he trails his hands down your forearms, rubbing your skin. “trust me ok? i promise it wont be scary once we get into it.”

-

you’re sitting on vash’s plush red sheets, hands clasped between your thighs, watching as he flits across his room, preparing for the stream that’s due to start in a couple of minutes. you're wearing nothing but one of his sleeping shirts, one that reaches mid-thigh, your underwear, and some socks. the epitome of prudeness, especially for a cam stream. 

he adjusts the camera on his desk, checks the lighting, and moves the chair into position. you check him out from behind, admiring his backside that is only covered in his donut-patterned boxers. he’s already wearing his usual getup, bunny ears sticking up from his head. he finally turns to your tense form, sitting next to you and unlatching your hands from each other.

“ok, let’s do a quick rundown of tonight. you, my pretty, will be the one in control of me, for the second time. i am really kinky, huh?” he chuckles, bouncing slightly on the mattress, excited. “stay off to the side until i bring you on. we’ll interact with the chat for a bit because i’m sure they're going to go ballistic. then you’ll tie me up, and you can start with whatever. at your own pace, because i won't be able to do much of course.” you nod, about to stand from the bed when he pulls you back. “also, i have something for you to wear.” from behind his back, he pulls a matching bunny mask, only this one is black.

your inner fan pops out, squealing as you grab it out of his hands. it almost feels like merch, turning it in your hands, feeling the hard plastic material. you pull the strap behind your head, peeping out at him through the eyeholes. “how do i look?” 

he pokes his tongue into the side of his cheek. “so unbelievably sexy. if i wasn't hard before, i am now.”

“actually, i meant to ask you about that. you’re always so hard when you click in. do you jack off before-” he shushes you, fingertip to your lips. 

“a magician never reveals his secrets. alright. let’s get started. stand by my desk.”

you two get into position, standing off to the side as vash clicks the start button on his computer.

“good evening everyone! what a lovely, horny night we’re having!” his booming, charming voice rings out into the room. you stifle a giggle. he usually isn’t this loud in his streams. you wonder if his more quieter nature from before was him attempting to hide this from you. 

>hello fellow sex havers. or not. we’re all here tonight instead of getting laid

>hey shut up

>has anyone seen bonbon? they’re usually here by now but i’m not seeing them in the participants list

>oh true. where’s our bonbon??

“i actually have an answer to that chat. i think you’re gonna like this.” he drums his fingers on his desk. “drumroll everyone! say hello to our beloved bonbon!” he reaches his hand out to you, palm facing up. you place your hand in his warm one, take a deep breath, and step into the view of the camera, glad for the mask. 

the reaction is immediate.

>WAITWAITWAIT

>r u being for real right now?! is this mf AI??

>bonbon in the fleshhhh

>collab of the century!!!

>matching bunny masks?? i hope they fuck like rabbits too

>chill

your muscles relax. you’re eternally grateful that vash has pulled in a supportive fanbase. you wave at the screen.

“hi everyone. as you know, i am bonbon721. our boy here…invited me out here for a collab, and i thought, why not make our favorite cammer do what we want in person?” waves of comments roll through, agreeing and congratulating you on making the ultimate next step. you mentally pull a mask on, placing yourself into the role of a cam collaborator. what would make this go to the next level?

vash quirks his eyebrows, feeling a sudden shift in the atmosphere. he feels rather than sees you walk around him, circling him as if he was prey under the steely, hungry gaze of a predator. 

“i know i’m the fortunate one to be here, touching, kissing our man.” your hands graze his shoulders as you walk around the back of his chair, lips soon following where you touched him. he’s gone quiet. “i have a plan. but i want to add your input in there as well. add a couple of suggestions in the chat. i’ll pick the best ones. i’ll give you a minute. go.”

vash whips his head towards you. “uh…bonbon? what’re you doing?”

>suck on his toes-

*comment has been deleted by moderators*

>make him bark for you

>you should sit in the chair and have him service you~

>cmon man show some respect to bonbon

>blindfold him

>sensory depravation all the wayy ^^

your eyes catch on those last comments. you grin, teeth flashing in the light from his ring light. vash felt the slow, creeping feeling that he was falling into a trap. this was supposed to be his channel. how had you managed to sabotage his stream in the first three minutes?

“sensory depravation? love that we’re all so kinky here.” you search around his room, spotting a loose scarf on his floor. “i certainly can DIY my way around that.”

“um. can we pump the brakes a little bit? you guys are scaring me a bit,” vash nervously chuckles, eyes flitting to you for reassurance. you bend down to whisper in his ear. “you said to trust you tonight. know that it goes both ways angel.” you kiss the shell of his ear. “plus, we have cheerleaders in the chat.”

the chat is quickly pouring in love and support for vash, various amounts of ‘you got this!’ and ‘dont be a wuss we’re just a couple of virgins.’ the comments seem to easily lift his spirits, vash puffing up his chest in an amusing display of heroic confidence. 

“im back! nothing like a little shyness to humble you from time to time.” you kiss the corner of his lips, the chat gushing at the simple affection. 

“ready everyone? i’ll start by tying him down to the chair. don’t want him moving too much now do we?” you grab the ribbon from the desk, looping it through the holes in the desk chair and securing it to his wrists. vash flexes his hands, testing the strength of the ribbon. “not too tight?” you whisper, eyeing him for any discomfort. he shoots you a loving glance through the mask’s eyeholes, the care in them obscured by the plastic. he shakes his head at your question. 

you slip back into your role, standing and turning back to assess the camera. “now for our favorite new addition–depriving him of sight. say bye everyone!” with that, the red cloth of the scarf is placed over his eyes, severing him from the world around him. 

“perfect, doesn’t he look like such a good boy chat?” their agreement is obvious in the comments. 

>ohhh im hard already hurryyyy

>this is bonbon’s stream now. go bonbon! 

>yo get to it already

“uh, hello? are you still there bonbon?” comes vash’s cautious whine, set on edge at your silence. you decide to heed the chat’s commands and get to work. 

you drop down until your eye level with his crotch. you kiss his inner knee, barely moving in time to miss the jolt of his knees, surprised by the warm press of your lips leading to his intimates. you brush your hands up his thighs, reaching for the waistband of his boxers, digging in and pulling them down his legs. he lifts his hips to help you, your eyes fixed on the bob of his flushed cock as it springs out, fully ready. no matter how many times you have seen it, it still manages to make your mouth water.

he juts his hips up, needy for your immediate attention, his cock swaying with the movement. you chuckle darkly, moving your hands back up his thighs, lightly grazing your nails along the way, pulling a loud whine that echoes out into the dark room. 

“you thought i’d start by rewarding you with my mouth? you need to work for it first, show me how obedient you can be.” you stand back up, your hands delicately trail along his forearm, touching where the ribbon keeps him down, up to his bare shoulders, squeezing the hard muscles there. he whimpers at how helpless he now feels to you. you lean down, throwing your arm around his other shoulder and whisper into his ear. “if you’ll be so good for me during this stream, your real reward will come later…off camera.” he grunts at your suggestion, cock jumping in your peripheral.

>ooo whatever they said totally turned him on even more

>god i wish i were bonbon rn

the comments continue to flood in, but all your focus now is on vash and making him feel the best he has ever felt during his streams. you feel as if you have an angel and a devil on your shoulder, one begging to you ruin him for all his future streams, making it harder for him to cum without you there while the other is begging you to take a step back from the spotlight, to remember whose stream this belongs to. you choose to listen to the former. 

you smooth your hand does his front, pinching and rolling his perked, pink nipples before continuing your journey down south. you feel a bit dizzy as your fingers brush through his happy trail, his stomach warm, realizing now that you have been secretly checking off your fantasy list. you indulge for a moment, twirling and rubbing the softness at his navel before finally touching where he has been yearning for your soft touch. he keens loudly, a loud exhale coming from him as he finally feels your hand encircle his tip. 

“i bet i can get you there faster than yourself.”

his teeth clamp shut, leather gloves squeezing around the arms of his chair. “i dont doubt it for a second. you’ve already had me on edge for five minutes now.” you feel pride bloom in your chest, a prowling sense of possession creeping up in you, wishing you could now keep the image of him in ecstasy for yourself, away from the prying eyes of his subscribers. you shake your head of those thoughts, reminding yourself that you are a guest and this is his stream. you kiss his lobe, abruptly squeezing him, beginning a fast rhythm, your stroking causing him to arch his back, both towards the pleasure and away. 

you press your arm against his chest, pushing him back into his chair, stilling your hand. “good boys don’t move. will you be my good boy or not?” you pet his head, threading your hands through his wig and yanking his head back, exposing his throat, watching it bob as he brokenly gasps his pleasure. you mouth at the lines of his throat, suckling softly, working your hand in tandem with your mouth. he starts to pull at his ties, pushing against your arm as his noises start to pitch.

“please let me cum p-please i can’t hold on anymore-” the chair begins to rattle as his thighs shake, a loud thunk sounding from where he digs his heels into the flooring, driving his release away until you give him permission. an answering knock comes from the floor. yeah, the neighbors are definitely going to file a noise complaint. 

“i’ve been too mean to you, haven’t i?” you coo. “cum.”

his teeth dig harshly into his lips, preventing his pretty noises from escaping. a nasty habit in your eyes. you quickly grab both sides of his cheeks, pressing your fingers in to force him to let go of his lips, satisfied mewls tumbling out of his throat right as hot spurts of cum coat your fingers. he turns in your hand, kissing your palm in thanks. 

“well that was…yummy,” you quip at the chat, licking your fingers free of his release, realizing vash can’t see you indulging in him, slurping loudly to cue him in. his answering gasp and twitch of his cock showing his endless endurance. 

>god what i would give to lick up that mess

>i bet he tastes good

“oh he does. not really salty, actually. ill leave the rest to your imagination.” you quirk your head to the side as vash lays panting before you, cum cooling on his hot skin. “i should help clean him up. i did make a mess of him.” you twirl the chair so that the camera can catch both of you in a side angle. you drop to your knees, giving yourself a moment to inhale the scent of him, nuzzling into his thighs before tilting your head up. your hot breaths are hitting vash’s cock just right, and he might cum from that.

“want me to clean you up?”

“do you even have to ask?” he opens his legs further, bumping you from your comfortable spot on his thighs. you set to work, first licking up his release from his skin. it really isnt a bad taste, settling on your tongue nicely before you swallow. you nose along his shaft, breathing in his muskiness, tip hitting your lips. you gather some of his cum and use it as makeshift lube, stroking him slowly as you open your lips to take the tip in.

“fuck!” he yelps. “i swear it feels better each time.” although he says the last part in a hushed voice, you’re afraid the mic is still picking him up. you glance back at the chat, but don’t see any indication of his proclamation. you still shush him.

“mayfly, you need to take this damn scarf off. i need to see you.”

“hmm, i don’t think you’re allowed to tell me what to do. remember who’s in charge here,” you say as you come up for air, stroking him through your sentence. 

“you’re playing with fire,” he bites out, jolting his hips as he nears his release for the second time that night.

“maybe i wanna be burned,” you shoot back, tongue flicking his slit. he growls darkly at you in warning before a small smirk makes his way onto his face. a comical, exaggerated moan falls from his lips, the first vowels of your name slowly being said in the fake throes of his orgasm. in panic, your hand shoots up to squeeze his throat, forcing him to swallow the rest of your name. “don’t you dare-”

“i would never, bonbon. i’m only playing. remove the scarf.” you huff, snatching the scarf from his mask. “good. hello chat! long time no see!” he gives a tiny wave from where his hands remain tied. “now, keep going love.”

you roll your eyes at him before engulfing him in your hot mouth once again. after being denied of his sight for so long, the view of you on your knees, delivering him pleasure, pushes him one step closer to his orgasm. 

the hot and heavy weight of him in your mouth turns even you on, your eyelids at half-mast as you stare up at him, vash’s muscles twitching with each sensation that flares through his nerves. he sees you eyeing him, looking down at you and maintaining eye contact as he softly whimpers. your arousal is dripping from you at this point, and you may come yourself just from watching him. he spots your hand that isn’t stroking him move down to your panties, gaze heady as he watches you pleasure yourself, your eyes falling shut.

>this is so incredibly hot

> yess bonbon wrap that man around your finger

the sight of you having his most intimate part in your mouth fires him up. he jolts his hips suddenly, making you gag, your throat constricting around him just right. he wails, thighs tensing as that one little move nearly pushes him over. you meant to glare up at him for making you gag, but his pretty and delicate moans soften your fleeting harsh exterior. 

you pop off of him, staving off his orgasm. he whines at your denial. “bonbon, please, just let me cum. i’ll let you do anything else you want to me.”

“hm, i don’t want to give it to you that quickly. you think i’m easy? try again.”

his jaw clenches. “you’re the only one that can make me feel like this please do something. i would be on my knees right now if i could. but just please let me cum, i promise i’m your good boy!”

“now was that so hard pretty boy? all you had to do was ask~” with that final lilt in your voice, you quickly deepthroat him, holding down his thighs with your arms while your hands splay out against his stomach, massaging his muscles as they clench up. a barrage of noises fill your ears. the tightening squeak of leather on metal. the shaking of the loose screws in his desk chair. a punched out, surprised breath above you and then…shattered, pleased groans as he shoots his release down your throat. you hold steady, even though your gag reflex is begging for relief from the intrusion in your throat, massaging his shaft with your tongue as the final spurts make their way home in your throat. you finally let up once his moans turn into overstimulated mewls. 

you sit back on your haunches, rubbing your hands on his thighs. the both of you stare at each other, incredulous for a moment, lost in a world of your own before the consistent dinging of the chat pulls you two back. you both burst out laughing, falling onto his thighs, feeling the burning heat of his body lean over you in an armless hug. 

>this is one for the books

>SOMEONE SCREENSHOT THIS THIS IS PEAK

>they have wayyy more than chemistry here they gotta be dating now

>how are you gonna top this??

vash begins to talk with the chat now, his sentences a little funny, his words slurring together as he recovers. you make slow work of untying the ties from his hands, rubbing his wrists and placing a gentle kiss on each arm.

“can we all give a round of applause for bonbon? let’s appreciate that they’ve made me cum harder than even last time! twice! i really don’t know if i can top this stream now.” he grasps your head as you move to stand up, turning to give you a grateful kiss. he gives one last peck to your cheek before returning to the chat, not seeing the sheepish smile that is etched on your burning face.

>r u 2 seeing each other

>if not yall should you seem cute together

>our man x bonbon who woulda thought? i mean…all of us did

“ok ok settle down everyone, i know we’re all riding our highs of what just happened but i really wanted this to be a special thank you to everyone here-”

>lies! fess up you coward! you like them!

>its so obvious you cant hide it! there was way more than lust in your guys’ eyes

“uh. well. hey you see, that’s because-”

>wait hows bonbon doing? speech!

you watch as the rest of the chat agrees. you swoop in, stopping vash from trying to navigate whatever the two of you have publicly on his channel. “im ok guys. im actually really happy to be here and to have experienced this all. so i want to say thank you not only to this beautiful, gorgeous man-” you feel vash’s arms hug you tightly to his side. “-but also to you, for being so engaging and supportive of me being here. with that, i’ll see everyone next week in the chat!” you wave goodbye to them. 

“before i sign off here actually, i do have something to say.” you look down at vash, not expecting him to look so nervous. he inhales slowly. “we’re actually dating. love and peace!” he quickly clicks the end stream button, hiding his face in your side. 

you stand there, stunned. did he really just make you two official on his live stream?

you bring his head out from where it's stuck to your hip, finally able to see the embarrassed look on his face. “care to explain? that wasn’t just a hail mary to get more donations right?”

he looks aghast at your suggestion. “no! never! ever! would i do that to you. ugh, i actually have been wanting to ask you officially to be with me, and my love for you just reached its peak there and i needed to get it out. i’m sorry-”

“dont apologize. i’ve been waiting for this for awhile… i just wasn’t expecting it to be during your stream. i mean, don’t you think they won’t like that you’re taken now?” he scoffs at you.

“hey bonbon, look at the screen.” you glance over, reading through the comments that were still coming in.

>YES my endgame. i can finally go to bed peacefully

>if i can’t have him, i want bonbon to have him

>real long time coming you two. wishing you the best. although, i hope this isn’t the end of his streams

your eyes well up, glad for all the support and happy that vash’s camming career didn’t just end. vash stands, taking you in his arms. “so does that mean you’ll have me as your boyfriend?” you squeal at the word, throwing yourself into his embrace. the road you two took to get here from just friends can be called anywhere from unconventional to ludicrous. you nod your agreement into his chest. vash whoops his victory and pulls back from you.

“now~” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. glancing down, you see he’s hard. again. “i seem to recall you getting off from me cumming into your mouth.” you gasp at his raunchiness, swatting at his chest. he cackles, grabbing your hand in his to drag you back to him, his other hand swiping at your lower half, feeling the wetness there. “i don’t believe you quite got there though. mind if i get that reward you mentioned earlier?”

he begins walking you toward his bed. you giggle at his antics. “you’re insatiable.”

“stop being so desirable.” with that, he has you trapped beneath him, loving kisses being shared throughout the rest of the night.

a/n: sigh...i need this man like air. thanks for your support! xoxo

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[exquisitesimp]

Comforting Akutagawa during a mental breakdown

A/N: Hello to everyone reading this! I’m back at it again with Bungo Stray Dogs, more particularly the Port Mafia. In this story, the reader (F) is giving comfort and affection to her emotionally damaged boyfriend Akutagawa, after an unfortunate encounter with his old mentor figure (aku was my first love in bsd). Thank you so much for reading and interacting with my posts, it means so much to me! Stay healthy, eat well and drink plenty of water! - Sam

Tags: Bungo Stray Dogs, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, angst, reverse comfort, SFW

Warnings: mental breakdown, emotional and physical abuse, NSSI

Word Count: approx. 4.8k

It was one of these nights again; these difficult, heart-wrenching nights that constantly made you question the meaning of such a life, a life filled with pain and suffering. You’ve become a little too familiar with this feeling since you’ve experienced, well… a little too many nights like these. 

“Remember what you’re doing all this for!” you exclaimed. 

Except there was nobody there to listen, save for the librarian that was sick of having you be the last one to leave the library in the dark hours of the early morning for the fifth time this week. Talking to the void, maybe all that studying did drive you insane after all. 

“You scared the life out of me, for the love of god!”, the lady gasped, jumping awake from the information desk. Poor her, she probably hated these nights even more than you did.

“I’m terribly sorry”, you said, chuckling in awful embarrassment.

She gave you a cold stare, which truthfully saddened you deep down, because you were under the false impression that you had bonded with the woman by now.

“Don’t look at me like that ma’am”, you said, “You know med school isn’t a piece of cake…”

“I know dear”, she responded with a certain sweetness in her voice and a tired sigh, “but isn’t it time to go home soon?”

You looked at the clock above the information desk. It read 2:45. A look of desperation channeled itself on your face as you were thinking about just how much more work you had ahead of you before you could allow yourself to go home and finally get some shuteye. 

“Just one more unit, I promise!” you lied, knowing damn well that it was much, much more than that.

“Pfftt….Like we haven’t heard that before…” the librarian mumbled as she began moving around all sorts of books and paper sheets around the information desk.

Of all the times during the day she could get that taken care of, she had to do it right now? The noise she made was getting on your nerves and messed with your focus. However, you knew she was going to kick you out for sure if you dared complain about it. So you just decided to let it go, for your own good perhaps…

Resting your head which had grown quite heavy and dizzy on top of the open books, you sighed in exhaustion, waiting for the woman to stop messing with the papers and your concentration along with them. Wondering how the hell you were supposed to pass all these exams the following week, you were just sitting there, beating yourself up for always leaving things for the last possible moment. But not even a minute later, your phone, which was laying on the table, suddenly buzzed and stopped your overthinking. 

It was a voice message from your boyfriend, a little smile subtly forming on your face upon seeing the notification. You’ve been together for almost a year, but the habit of smiling at his texts hasn't faded away whatsoever.

“Ma’am, can I pleeaase use my phone?”, you joked, since there was obviously nobody there to be disturbed by mobile phone usage… except for the poor lady of course. “It’s my sweetheart!”

A few moments of deadly silence followed. From the look on her face, you’d think she was finally done with your smart-ass idiocy. 

“Eh, to hell with it…” she responded, having accepted — to your grand surprise — that she’d have you here for quite a while once again.

“God bless your patience! I shall treat you to a huge meal once these detestable exams are over!”, you proclaimed in comedic exaggeration, yet genuinely wanting to express your gratitude to her in some sort of way. With your late-night hypertension and your endearingly annoying sense of humor, you could imagine that having you study here all these days must have been quite a handful. 

“Who said I wanted to have a meal with you?”, she shrugged and rolled her eyes. 

Purposefully ignoring her rhetorical question with a smile on your face, you opened the message and placed your phone next to your head with the speaker facing your ear, the woman sighing at your shenanigan in the background. 

“Hey, Y/N…” 

You didn’t expect to hear Gin’s voice. 

“Listen… I found my brother’s phone in a dark alley on the ground, and it’s all cracked up now, and I’m not quite sure what happened... He was still supposed to be here, but I assume there was some big trouble and he had to flee. Problem is— TACHIHARA CAN YOU JUST SHUT THE F— sorry about that… problem is I contacted our headquarters and he’s not there” 

Your eyes opened wide as the message kept on playing. Two opposing forces fighting in your brain; one worrying that something terrible has happened to him, the other trying to remain cool-headed since you didn’t know any crucial details about the situation.

“My guess would be that he’s at your place. I know you have a lot of work to do in the library, but please check if everything’s okay with him. Gotta go, the Armed Detective Agency is just around the corner”

You heard the words “Armed Detective Agency” and you instantly knew what this was about. 

“Oh fuck” you said out loud and stood up from your desk as if struck by some invisible thunder.

“What is it this time?”, the librarian desperately asked.

“It’s your lucky day”, you replied, packing up your bag in quick, messy movements, “I’ve got to go right now”

“Good grace”, she mumbled as she started switching off the lights to finally close the place down for the night.

“Thanks for everything!”, you shouted hurriedly, storming out of the university library and rushing to the parking lot.

You jumped in your car and immediately started the engine. You already knew by now that no encounter with the Agency could possibly be any good for Akutagawa. And this time, you had a strong feeling that something was very, very wrong.

In less than half the time it would usually take, you sloppily drove back to your apartment, very lucky that you hadn’t crushed the car onto anything on the way there. Running with light steps and pushing through your own fatigue, you finally reached the door and knocked on it.

“Sweetie?”, you called out softly. 

There was complete silence on the other side, a type of silence that grew an unshakeable fear within you. After taking a deep breath, you reached for the keys in the pocket of your jacket and slowly opened the door.

You took a good look at the living room before entering, and everything was exactly the way you left it, including the little lamp you always kept switched on even when nobody was home. From where you were standing, nothing seemed wrong with the kitchen either. At first glance it all looked perfectly normal, but there was something very intuitively suspicious about this quietness that consumed the entire place. 

Due to your intensive studying at the library the past few days, you ended up coming home at times like these almost every day, and you found the emptiness to be serene, and even comforting in its own way. But now it was frantically maddening, as if you’d be crazy to assume someone else was here, but equally as insane to think that you were totally alone.

You gulped as you took a few steps in and closed the door behind you, cold shivers running down your body. Only while taking off your own shoes did you look down to check if his were there, and much to your relief, they were just beside the door. You immediately felt a weight fall off your shoulders, knowing now that nobody had broken in or that you weren’t… imagining things.

You quietly made your way right in front of the shut door of your bedroom, and since you already passed by the empty bathroom, you knew that was the only place where he could possibly be. Just by standing there you felt a dark chilly aura strike you down to the bone. 

Knowing about his occupation and even his abusive past, you were already aware that Akutagawa was very much capable of becoming violent. But this wasn’t the first time he went through a crisis like this with you, so you had faith that if you stood there for him once again, it would all work out, just like the previous times.

You plucked up all the courage you had inside you and knocked on the door. 

“Sweetie?”, you repeated. “Are you alright?”  

Once again, no answer. At this point you started getting worried. That was the only place he could be, right? Then why was he not responding?

Making the tiniest amount of sound possible, you pushed the door open ever so slightly to peek through the crack, and that’s when you saw something you’ve never witnessed before.

Although the light switch was on, the room was pitch black with only a few strands of light somehow making their way through. Sinister branches of darkness were spread all over, some intertwined with one another in an infernal veil, and others ruthlessly piercing the entirety of the space like enormous, sharp blades. 

You were completely astounded. You had no idea that Rashoumon could take on such a petrifying form.

Before you could even begin to grasp the density and the complexity of what your eyes just viewed, the door was somehow explosively shut inches away from your face, causing you to gasp at the thunderous noise.

“HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DOOR?”, Akutagawa yelled, his strung out voice echoing within his ability’s construction. 

“I’m sorry sweetie”, you responded peacefully, “I just wanted to check if you’re okay…”

“What does this look like to you?” he asked sarcastically, while Rashoumon locked the door from the inside, eliminating any possibility that he’d just let you in that easily.

“What I meant is, are you physically okay? Did you get hurt?”, you asked, trying to maintain your calm composure.

“I’m intact”, he answered as if even such a small question was so immensely bothersome to him at that moment, “now LEAVE. ME. ALONE!”

“How am I supposed to leave you alone in a state like this?”

He didn’t respond, but it’s not like you expected him to. Hurt and afraid, he always hid inside his hard shell at times like this, and it took a lot of strength and effort to get him to open up to you. You took a big breath, because the difficult part was just starting. 

“Your sister found your phone somewhere in the city and contacted me…”, you began.

“I don’t wanna talk about this…” he growled as rage kept building up within him.

“I know it’s difficult to talk right no—“

“THEN CUT IT OUT”, he screamed with a trembling voice and paused for a second, “before I break the door…”

“You don’t have to talk about it right now, but please just listen”.

You paused for a while to see what his reaction would be. Although he was once again mute, you were quite happy that you didn’t get smashed by the door; it meant he was waiting for you to speak.

“I know you’re not feeling well right now, and I just want to let you know that it’s totally okay to feel this way, even though I don’t know what exactly happened… I just wanted to tell you…”.

Another silence-filled pause ensured you that he was still listening.

“You did the right thing to come here, sweetie… The fact that you’re here right now means that even if you want me to leave you alone this instant, some part of you wants to find comfort here… And that’s exactly what I want to do for you right now. I just want to make it better, I promise. Please, Aku…Let me help you…” 

No response.

“I’ll be waiting right behind the door for as long as you need. Please don’t break me along with it, or better yet, let me in whenever you feel like…”

It wasn’t much later that you heard the door finally unlock behind you, so you stood up, carefully opened it, and saw that your previously unimaginably ominous room was now just the way you remembered it.

Akutagawa was sitting on the floor in the corner across the room, curled up so he could take up as little space as possible. He had wrapped his arms around his knees and held them closely against his chest. His cloak was thrown over his shoulders, covering most of his upper body and his head was buried on his forearms.

You quietly approached him and sat next to him to keep him at ease. All these months in a relationship with him taught you that at times like these, he felt threatened by people sitting right opposite him, and didn't respond to them so well. He also deeply despised being looked at when he’s in such a vulnerable state, so you respected his wishes and looked at the floor, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

“Take your time, sweetie. I’m here to listen”, you said after a minute or two. 

He took a big breath before lifting his head up, while you made sure to make him feel as comfortable as you could, based on his own individual terms.

“The Command Unit was sent to the center of Yokohama to investigate some strange movements in the black market… and there, I ran into that stupid weretiger...”

“Mhm hm”, you nodded as you kept listening carefully.

“We started a fight and I had cornered him in this alley… that was all until he showed up…”

“Dazai?”, you asked, just to make sure your assumptions were correct.

“Yes…” , he answered as his voice got weaker. “He nullified my ability and told the weretiger to leave, so it was just the two of us…”

You noticed it was getting harder and harder for him to speak as the conversation shifted towards Dazai. It was no surprise since he’d talked to you about him before but it was, nonetheless, upsetting to hear.

“No…”, you said, “and what did he do?”

“Well, he…”, Akutagawa said and then paused as if to collect himself, “he kicked me right below the chest and I was on the ground coughing…”

He took a breath, before proceeding to give you the rest of the story.

“And he said some things… something about the weretiger being better than me… but I’ve heard that before…”

“Aw sweetie—“

“He knows…”, he said, burying his head on his knees once again. “He found out about my disease somehow…”

When you heard him quietly weep, you moved a little closer to him, just enough so that he didn’t feel alone in this difficult, doleful moment. Before you could even begin to ask how Dazai managed to find that out, Akutagawa jumped into your arms and buried his head on your shoulder, letting his black cloak fall off his frail body.

As he did that, you didn’t fail to notice that his white shirt had bloody stains on each sleeve, a little bit above the length of the elbow. Both sides had five holes each, one for each of his own fingers that had been digging into his skin, scratching and ripping it apart.

You were so upset, but you realized that it would be no good to address it right now. So instead, you wrapped him up in the warm embrace that he desperately needed at the time.

“That lung disease you have is going to kill you soon… Maybe then, I’ll consider coming back to the Port Mafia… Such a shame that… even when you leave your last pathetic breath… there won’t have been a single moment… when you were better than my new apprentice…” 

“That’s what he said to me…”, he uttered, sobbing in between these nasty, horrible phrases. 

Your eyes started watering as you squeezed him tighter against you. It was beyond you how anybody could be so viciously cruel to someone so loyal and devoted, even if fate brought it so that they parted ways.

“That’s so hurtful…”, you whispered as tears were running down your cheeks. “It’s okay… Let it all out, I’m right here…”

“Why? Just why?!”, he cried in anguish, “How much more must I do? When will all this be over? When will I ever be enough?!”

You didn’t know how to respond to such questions at times like these, so you just let him lash out until he hopefully calmed down eventually. 

“What am I saying? That’s never gonna happen…”, he lamented as his body started shivering, “I’m so sorry, Y/N… I’m a worthless and pathetic fool…”

“That’s not true…please stop saying things like that…”, you pleaded.

“I’m just gonna die so pointlessly… And it won’t even matter to him…”

“Well it’s gonna matter to me!”, you raised the tone of your voice, verklempt and teary-eyed.

His chest kept pumping against yours as he was struggling for breath. 

“I’m so sorry my love…”, you apologized, fearing that all you just did was worsen his situation by letting your own emotions take over. He tried to say something, but in this state, coherent words couldn’t come out of his mouth.

You had to stay strong and help him during this difficult time. Right now, the situation wasn't about you.

“Listen to me, let’s take some deep breaths okay? Breathe in till four, hold till four, and breathe out till six. Can you do that for me?”

You felt him nodding yes, lifting his head up and letting his chin rest on your shoulder. 

“Perfect, I’ll count: 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…”

Akutagawa tried to follow your count as much as he could. You had to do this exercise about fifteen times before his breathing took its normal pace back. Your hand was always gently caressing the back of his head, and with every round you completed, you made sure that he knew he was doing a good job. 

“I’m so proud of you”, you murmured and kissed his temple, “are you feeling any better now?”.

He nodded yes and sniffed his nose.

“Can I look at you?”, you asked.

He sighed, then nodded yes once again. Once he let go, you gently cupped his face and lifted his head up so you could look at him. His poor, restless eyes were ever so red and puffy from all the tears he’d been shedding.

“My sweet Aku…”, you whispered, “if only there was something I could do to take your suffering away… I can only imagine how terrible it feels to be treated so horribly by someone you look up to so much, to always feel like you’re the second option…”

You paused to take a big breath and collect yourself. 

“And I know it’s not the same to hear it from me… but you’re always going to be my first choice… always…” 

A sad, bitter smile morphed into your boyfriend’s face upon hearing these words, as if they were half-empty, not coming from a certain someone he’d want to hear them from instead.

“I’ll always be here for you… You’re my everything, my love… I love you more than anyone and anything in this world… And seeing you suffer like this… it crushes me…”

Akutagawa sat there in silence, guiltful and grey, shifting his gaze to the cold, hard floor. 

“Especially this…” you said with a cracking voice, and looked at the red stains on his sleeves, “this just… it breaks my heart…”

His withering eyes were filling up with tears again. 

“Promise me you won’t do it again…please…”, you begged.

“I promise…I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry sweetie, none of this makes you weak in my eyes…. You’re so strong… so much more than you think…”

You looked at him sweetly before pulling him closer to give him a soft kiss on the mouth, his lips passive, almost motionless against yours.

“Now go have a warm shower, you need to relax”, you said, getting up from the floor and offering him a helping hand to stand up as well. “Make sure that a lot of water runs over your wounds. I’ll take care of them once you’re done, okay?”

“Okay”, he answered, giving you his hand, letting you pull him up and still hold him all the way to the bathroom. 

“Thank you so much, Y/N… really…” 

“Don’t mention it”, you responded lovingly.

As he shut the door behind him, you immediately got this morbid feeling, this insurmountable urge to break down and cry. 

You loved him with all your heart, but in comparison to even the tiniest praise from Dazai, your love for Akutagawa didn’t matter nearly as much to him. And that thought pained you so much, it cut deeper than a knife… In a way, you could even say you understood him, knowing that your one and only was gonna leave you soon, and that you’ll always come second, till the last moment… till his last moment, his very last breath…

It was all so devastating… But as you pushed the tears back, you remembered the promise that you made to yourself when you first got into a relationship with him; no matter how hard things got, you were gonna love this person as much as you could, for as long as you could… Until the very end, you had to be his pillar of strength and continue cherishing him no matter how much it hurt you in the process. 

And you loved him so much, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Hey Gin”, you spoke to your phone as you recorded a voice message for her, “I found him, he was at my place. He’s okay, he has a few surface wounds on his arms, most probably nothing to worry about. You can let your boss and the others know that he’s safe and that he’ll stay here for the next couple of hours… And, by the way, thank you for contacting me as soon as you found his phone….Things might’ve been worse, had it not been for you… Call me if you need anything”

As you hit “send”, Akutagawa walked out of the bathroom, wearing an oversized white t-shirt and plaid black and white pajama bottoms, with the towel he used to dry his hair thrown around his neck.

“Feeling more comfortable now?” you asked. 

“Yeah”, he responded.

“Good. Now come here, let me see your arms…”

He made his way next to you, letting you investigate his wounds.

“Hmm…”, you said, lost in thought, “they’re not as deep, so you’re not gonna need any stitches… but they do look a bit inflamed… we definitely need to disinfect these”

You took him by the hand back in the bathroom again, where you kept your medical kit. You grabbed the disinfectant bottle and lathered some liquid over a big piece of sterile cotton. 

“I gotta warn you sweetie, this might burn a little…”

“Yeah, like I haven’t had worse– OWW!!”, he exclaimed as you pressed it against his wounds.

“I’m sorry, perhaps I wouldn’t have to do this if you hadn’t used your own hands. You were out fighting, who knows how many germs they had…”

“It burns…”, he hissed, clenching his jaw.

“Warned you…”, you responded. “You’ve never used disinfectant before?”

“Do you really think people in the mafia care to use this sh– AUGHH!”, he snarled once again as you repeated the same treatment to his other arm. 

“We’re almost done now…” you reassured him as he gave you the most displeased, irritated stare.

“Hmm let’s see…” you mumbled to yourself while searching the contents of your kit, “I don’t have big enough band-aids for this… guess we’ll have to cover them with something else…”

You opened up two bandages, and with a little hesitation, Akutagawa let you wrap them around his arms tightly.

“All patched up!” you said, giving his boney shoulders a light squeeze, “Is there anything I can make for you? Anything to eat? Some tea maybe?”

“No, I think I’m gonna throw up if I do…”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want that… Okay then, I think we should go to bed and get some rest, no?”

“Yeah…”

After you changed into your pajamas and brushed your teeth, you made your way into the fluffy futon and scooched over for Akutagawa to join you shortly after. While he is generally the quiet type, this time you could tell that he was way too tired even for the short-lived, yet endearing small talk before bed. 

“My eyes hurt…” Akutagawa murmured as he slid next to you.

“I know, sweetie…Come here…”, you said, lifting up the cover and inviting him close to you.

Your boyfriend found his way into your arms again, his tired head buried in your chest and his thinned body clinging onto yours, the entirety of his being searching for warmth within your embrace. The comforting motions of your hands caressing his back and the sound of your heartbeat was everything he could ask for at the time.

“Feels like you’ve lost more weight…”, you pointed out as you grazed your fingers over the prominent parts of his skeleton, “Have you been eating well lately?”

“Mm-mm”, he shook his head no after a short pause, as if to adjust his thinking to your own standards of self-preservation. To him, if he made it out alive at the end, what was there to care for?

“Well that’s no good…I’m making you fluffy pancakes and your favorite tea in the morning”, you said knowing that, being starved of affection almost his entire life, he found these simple acts of kindness to be a huge deal. His contentment was clear as day, flowing through you as he pulled himself closer, practically sealing shut whatever space there was between the two of you.

“Thank you…”, he purred against your chest, the mere sweetness of his adorable reaction leading you to plant gentle kisses on the top of his head.

“Anything for you sweetie… I just want you to take care of yourself. Undereating can’t do any good to your condition… And I want to keep you around as much as possible, make as many happy memories together as we can…Like that time when you took me to dinner with the mafia for the first time and Higuchi kept warning me not to hurt your feelings or ‘I’ll be dead’...”

“Tsk, that piss-off…” he mumbled in a mix of displeasure and nostalgia, getting annoyed just by remembering the event, but being strangely happy that he got to experience it with you. 

“It made me very happy that you apologized to her…”

“After you told me I was acting just like him, I had no choice…”

“And I’m so proud of you for that, sweetie…” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair

“I still remember when we had Gin and Chuuya over for my birthday and we played that drinking game he had suggested. I’m pretty sure at some point he stopped caring about the rules and started losing on purpose…Ah, what an iconic day…Oh, and that day when I first told you that I loved you…Hahah, you were so awkward whenever I told you that on the phone. It took you a couple of weeks before you were brave enough to say it back to me... But it’s okay, I’m not blaming you, it’s most wise to wait for the time when you are a hundred percent sure that you feel the same way for me… Hey, what about the day of our first date–”

You’d been talking for quite a while now, vocally walking down memory lane, too absent-minded to notice that Akutagawa was fast asleep by then. Your melancholic monologue got softly interrupted by his faint, quiet snores. 

“Aww of course. I almost forgot how easily you fall asleep whenever I start rambling like this…”

You slid your hands under his shirt and felt the soft skin on his back. His hold on you was more relaxed, but far from apathetic, as if what remained of his slowly melting tension was love, and only love. 

You smiled, feeling infinitely blessed that your boyfriend was there with you, that you were listening to his slow breathing as he was drifting somewhere far away. Your eyelids had been feeling heavy for a while, but before you joined him, you wanted to get some things off your chest; somethings you truly wanted Akutagawa to know, even though you knew that he wouldn’t hear much of it in his sleep.

“Aku, my sweetheart… You are worth so much more than you think. You are enough— no, you’re even more than that… And I wish I had the means to show you just how much you mean to me… Oh, if only I could make you feel even half of my love…”

A/N: Akutagawa cried again in the middle of the night, but didn’t want to bother Y/N with his feelings any further. He removed the bandages because anything that reminded him of Dazai, he couldn’t have on his body. After Y/N found out, she apologised for her ignorance and made him the most delicious fluffy pancakes.