#I’m literally her malewife

[cryptidbait]

Wanna play a game?

I am so excited to see Saw X I’m gonna lose

[lucy-westenra-deserved-better]

Everyone appreciating Jonathan and Mina’s relationship fills me with a joy I cannot describe. Like YES FINALLY YOU GET IT

[mitta-likes-moths]

ok so last weekend I saw my little sister on like episode two of My Hero Academia right? I see nothing wrong with it she’s enjoying a show and I’m glad she at least did her homework beforehand and is thoroughly enjoying herself 🤷‍♀️

I had a horrible dream two nights ago where my little sister was already on the sports festival arc.

Ahead of me in the show.

As you may imagine I am NOT going to let this slide, I am going to say NOTHING about this to her in case she speeds up her process of watching or possibly rubs it in my face, and I am going to binge the actual FUCK out of the god forsaken show.

NOT AGAIN WILL THIS HAPPEN.

(All light hearted I promise)

[bamboozled-distress]

reading Batman no man’s land and the best part so far is catwoman casually calling him pookie

[imasoftieforbarb]

reactions and headcanons of brozone about: how would they fell about y/n having an egg?(once married ofc) sorry if too much

John Dory

Definitely hubby material

Van life with you and him?

Chef kiss

Ok

He definitely gives malewife vibes

Because he’s so used to being the responsible one

But he also deserves a break so you split all the chores in half

You surprise him with your pregnancy announcement by giving him a cup that says “worlds greatest Dad”

He’s shocked

Like he goes still and you worry- what if he doesn’t want children? It wasn’t a planned thing

And then he just scoops you up in arms and twirls you around

So many happy tears

Instantly tells everyone possible he’s gonna be a dad

That might is now his favorite mug- but he refuses to use it until the baby is born

Those chores that you split? He is now taking on all of them so you can focus on the baby

Likes to speak to the egg, honestly he’s so sweet with it

Definitely plays brozone through headphones around the egg (“John what are you doing?” “I want them to have good taste”)

Clay

He gave up his admin house for you

Y’all still live in Putt Putt village (because I say so)

Viva moves to Pop village so he goes from co runner to leader

So y’all get her room/house

Being married to Clay is so chill

He’s so sweet and literally talks about you non stop even though more often that not you’re with him whilst he’s working

He found out about the pregnancy when you gave him a mini matching green sweater romper

He was like

“Thanks! Not sure if it’ll fit me but I love it anyway!”

It takes him a moment

He leaves the room then runs back in pointing at you like he’s in law and order

“YOURE PREGNANT?!?”

You are now on permanent bed rest

Likes to baby talk to the egg and sing it songs

Buys the new furniture immediately and then starts baby proofing the house

He’s determined to give this kid the best childhood

Bruce

When he marries you, that’s when he decides to change his name to Bruce

Y’all still open the restaurant on Vaycay island

You become the cutest couple on the island so fast

BEACH WEDDING

He definitely tears up whilst reading his vows

“Oh I’m crying…” *you pass him a q-tip* “what’s a q-tip gonna do?!”

Treats you like a queen

Another malewife vibe haver

But it’s not as strong

Y’all were already planning on having a big family

So when you tell him you’re having twins by making dinner, but putting two lil high chairs by the door

He sees them

And goes WILD

“What- is that? Does that mean? TWINS?!?!”

He’s so happy, so many happy tears whilst y’all hug

“Uh- honey? Who’s watching the stove?” “Oh shit…”

Floyd

Dedicated husband fr fR

Has photos of you everywhere

Gets drunk and gets so happy when you tell him you’re his wife not his girlfriend

“THis IS myY WiFE”

Everyone knows don’t worry

Always talked about having kids but didn’t plan for it

Well he did (but only in his lil dreams)

Then one day you made his dreams come true

He got home from hanging out with Branch

(Who you’d asked to keep him distracted)

And he comes home to a really big home cooked meal

And a decorated boiled egg

He goes to eat said egg- but you tell him to break it open

“Why?” “It’s a surprise hun- I’m not supposed to tell you”

Inside is a lil parenting book called ‘daddy and I’

Silence, smile on his face

Tears rolling down his face before he stands up and walked over to you putting the book down on the table

Wraps you up in a such a soft hug that you start crying too

Peppers kisses all over your face

“You really do make my dreams come true”

Doesn’t tell his brothers immediately- wants you to himself

Makes sure you’re careful with doing everything

Just likes to lie down on the bed with you and the egg and put his hand softly on the surface (he cries a lil bit everytime)

When he eventually tells people- it’s completely by accident

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me As Tumblr #27

Mammon: How many swords do you have?

Diavolo: Sword of a lot

Raphael: Blocked

Diavolo: Parried

•

Mammon: My pockets jingle with stolen buttons from hot topic

Mammon: I literally can’t stop stealing those buttons from the Button Vats like I don’t feel like paying 3 dollars for a piece of tin with Pusheen on it but I do feel like doing a heist

Mammon: Call the cops bitch I’ll have sex with them

Simeon: This feels like the kind of thing you overhear when the person next to you on the bus is having a heated phone call

•

Belphegor: Wasn’t ICarly that guy with wax wings who flew into the sun and fucking got rest because same

Belphegor: I just realized my phone corrected Icarus to ICarly because I type ICarly more than Icarus okay thanks

Mammon: I thought this was just a god tier shit post

•

Thirteen: Bro pick up your eboy he’s curled up in the corner of my living room quivering, speaking in tongues, and surrounded by an impenetrable wall of writhing lamb’s entrails

MC: That’s not my eboy that’s my malewife they’re supposed to do that

Thirteen: Stop being funnier than me or I’ll do something about

•

Belphegor: People like to claim you can’t be funny without being offensive but my twin once looked at a packet of tesco’s chicken and said “60% chicken? I like those odds.” And I’m still laughing sixteen years later

•

Mammon: How fucked up would it be if you jumped into a ball pit and it was just tomatoes painted different colors

Beelzebub: Depends

Mammon: …On what?

•

Satan: Amazing how a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example:

— Jane ate her friend’s Sandwich

— Jane ate her friend’s Colon

Leviathan: This is the hardest I’ve ever snorted. My nose/throat actually hurts a little now

•

Mephistopheles: There are breasts on my roof. Scampering about. Wretched.

Diavolo: Th—There are what

Mephistopheles: BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS

•

MC: A knife block that screams when you put knives in it

Lucifer: A human

Barbatos: So a human

Solomon: Caesar

•

Solomon: Diamonds are carbon. People are carbon. I wonder how big a Diamond I could make out of one

Simeon: I think about your tumblr blog a lot. I think about the fact anyone can say anything on the open internet and I’m glad you are able to voice whatever is in your head

Solomon: Thanks

•

MC: Weatherboy (derogatory)

Diavolo: Op what does this mean

MC: Wouldn’t you like to know weatherboy

•

Asmodeus: Everyone wants me. Especially this guy chasing me with a knife

•

Mephistopheles: Fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise

Barbatos: I will give the horse that kills me no such luxury

•

Mammon: *gets home*

*breaks knuckles* time to shit myself to sleep again boys

Mammon: Wait no it’s cracks knuckles

Mammon: Wait no it’s cry myself to sleep

Mammon: Don’t reblog this stop it

•

Asmodeus: Fun new blog title: “welcome to my twisted pussy”

Solomon: Ducks be like

Asmodeus: This is no longer a fun new blog title

•

Leviathan: I hope everyone is having a fucking day

Lucifer: Easily one of the days I’ve had this week

Last • Next

[internetscenarios]

YESS cc!reader x tgc would go hard please do it NO pressure tho!! 💕

ok i had an idea for isaac,, IM SORRY I ONLY DO HIM OR YUMI i promise i will do the others soon

drunk driving ♡︎

it was a normal day for you, wake up, get food, do a stream if you had the energy.

today was a different day, your boyfriend isaac was hanging out at your house as the two of you wanted to get some stuff done.

it was a nice day together, you both went grocery shopping and had a cute little date in a cafe

tonight you had a stream planned, your viewers knew you were close friends with the group, but never knew why you ended up becoming friends

isaac had introduced you to them and you all grew close since then

“babe? i’m just about to start a stream, i think im meant to be drinking.”

you laugh softly, searching for him as he wandered around the kitchen, soon enough finding him.

“you should let me be in it.”

“what about your face being in it?”

“i can put my mask and glasses on.”

your mind hesitates, pouting slightly as you think whether you would want him causing chaos on your relaxed streams.

although both of you had been together for a while now, neither of you told your viewers. it would be a nice introduction stream, and also suprise everyone.

“okay fine. but you can’t be screaming into my microphone, my streams are more relaxed than yours.”

he rolls his eyes, yet nods and smiles as he looks down at you.

(🤤🤤)

soon enough the stream was starting, isaac was still downstairs cleaning up as you welcomed everybody and let people join.

you were playing american truck simulator with yumi, tanner, and soon to be isaac. but you didn’t mention that and would let isaac come in whenever to surprise your viewers a little.

once you joined the vc, you were suddenly met with yumi angry about how he couldn’t exit a parking lot, and tanner laughing.

“y/n, is mr 6’2 joining us?”

“he should be, hes just cleaning downstairs.”

“malewife!!”

you giggle, reading your chat as you opened up the game. the call was deafened so you could answer questions from your viewers.

mr 6’2???

is shaquille o’neal in ur house??

WHO IS 6’2 THEY ARE TALL

as you giggle, leaving your viewer’s confused and looking for answers you start up the game.

“so i have to take a drink everytime i crash??”

yes

YES

drunk y/n time oh no

you laugh, when suddenly a notification of a donation comes through

isaacwhy donated 20$: “ill be up in a minute, u look good tonight :)”

the donation reads out, which leads you to rub your forehead in annoyance but amusement

“isaac you can just text me!”

this leads your chat practically screaming at you.

ISAACWHY???

WHY IS ISAAC HERE

HE IS MR 6’2 WHATTTT

you rolls eyes, undeafening in discord and getting onto the game.

within the span of 5 minutes isaac wasn’t up, but you were focused on driving and desperately trying not too crash; in which you failed and had already had 4 sips of your drink already.

suddenly, you feel a strong bicep go around your neck playfully. it was isaac, he wasn’t actually hurting you, just faking it for the stream

“chat i will literally kill her.”

he say’s playfully, with you playing along and saying some muttered “noo” and “helpp!”

Y/N NO

POUR YOUR DRINK ON HIM

RUN

he laughs, letting go of you as he stands beside you, only his body in view

(😫😫)

height difference check when??

“let me move my chair, out height difference isn’t that bad.”

you move your chair, standing next to isaac. your full body and face was in the the camera view, while isaac practically towered over you.

you laughed, getting back in your chair, as isaac crouched down next to you with his mask and glasses on.

soon enough, you had crashed about 50 times and isaac was your servant on getting you another drink.

“do you need another drink?”

“yessss”

“too bad you’re not getting it.”

“babee..”

your drunken self not realising that petname had slipped out, you both tried to keep the relationship lowkey throughout the stream.

but your intoxicated brain had slipped up, causing the chat to go wild.

babe??

EXCUSE ME

bro called him babe

y/n and isaac marriage when??

you laugh, reading your chat with your head spinning.

“when are we getting married?”

“i thought i was already your malewife?”

a few giggles come out from you, hearing tanner screaming down his mic that him and isaac were already married.

soon the stream ends, and you flop your head on your desk.

“come on babe, you can’t fall asleep there.”

no response.

he sighs, lifting you up with ease from you chair and throwing you over his shoulder, which might’ve been a bit heavy on your head from dangling upside down.

within minutes you were placed in your bed, changed into more comfortable clothing and fast asleep.

ok lowkey i do not like this at allARGHH someone tell me if its good or not 😢

bit of fluffy isaac at the end thooo

[chaoticace2005]

You guys asked for it…

Why Lilith might have left Lucifer:

1. She lost interest. Simple at that. 10,000 years of the same routine…

2. She found out where Eve was and ran to her long lost love.

3. A deal was made with Alastor and she had to flee for her nefarious plans.

4a. Lucifer was bad in bed.

4b. He wouldn’t let her take off his hat while having sex.

5. Lucifer was good in bed and she was getting addicted, so for her own sake she left.

6. She had to get milk.

7. She took a look at hell after all her years of working, saw how fucked up humans are and said “nah.”

8. Donald Trump became president so she fled the country but forgot to take her family with her.

9. She could no longer deal with Lucifer’s ~autistic swag~

10. She got a coupon for an expense-paid trip to the Bahamas.

11. Lucifer wasn’t doing the DAMN DISHES.

12. Lucifer kept asking her to “quack” in bed.

13. There weren’t any good marriage counselors in hell. So she read drama books to fix her marriage and thought this was the best solution.

14. Lucifer got a sleep apnea machine and she couldn’t handle it anymore.

15. She bonked her head and completely forgot who she was. That’s why she scowls when Lute says “Lilith” at the end- because she has no idea who “Lilith” is.

16. Seven years ago Alastor killed Lilith. To cover his tracks he put on a wig and visibly left the cast as “her.”

17. SOMEBODY wasn’t putting the damn seat down. Do you think they have to deal with this in Heaven?

18. There was a silent uprising and assassination plot. She dealt with it all while Charlie and Lucifer remained oblivious, but is now being hunted.

19. Faked her death. Lucifer is somehow unaware that his wife even “died.”

20. Niffty blackmailed her into leaving.

21. They ran out of blond dye at the Hellmart and she couldn’t handle being the only one in the family without blond hair.

22. She felt the need to leave her family, build a luxurious pirate ship, hire random pirates, and sail the seas until she had a homoerotic relationship with a competing pirate and retired.

23. She too borrowed 50 grand from loan sharks, stole a car, and crashed it into a loan shark’s girlfriend (but that bitch had it coming!)

24. She went down in an airplane.

25. Fried getting suntanned.

26. Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand.

27. Her feather allergy kept getting worse and she had to leave for her health.

28. Lucifer kept saying he was “magic in bed” and then would do magic tricks despite being a LITERAL ANGEL.

29. Susan.

30. Committed tax fraud and had to flee the country.

31. She was going to get bottom surgery after Lucifer’s top surgery and is still recovering. (Hell doctors SUCK okay??)

32. Lucifer wouldn’t admit that water is wet.

33. Lucifer was putting ketchup on his pancakes.

34. Lucifer wasn’t vibing with her BFF-girlboss-malewife-bestie Alastor. She couldn’t deal with the ~drama~

35. He wouldn’t stop talking about his Fantasy Sports team.

36. Needed to find some artistic inspiration because the whole “I’m in hell” thing is SO overdone.

37. Not a fan of the circus or clowns.

38. Mental health break. She’ll come back when she’s ready. Sometimes it takes a while.

39. She was KIDNAPPED.

40. Lilith is dead. That’s not Lilith. That’s a shadow version of Lilith made by Alastor who works for her killer (Eve?) That’s why she wears sunglasses. So we can’t see her eyes and the empty void behind them.

[tojifile]

@Satosugu . . . ( ´ ꒳ ` )

Tags: idols!satosugu, f!reader, very very cliché wattpad 2018 plot, fan!reader, satosugu x reader, fluff, suggestive, no curse au, cursing, use of petnames, clingy Satoru, kind of ooc (?), reader is 18 n the guys are 19, reader is shorter than both of them, NOT A SATOSUGU SHIP POST (PT.2)

A/N: Still thinking about idols!satosugu, wanna make them so touchy. They’re so adorable, my babies 🫶🫶 Read pt.1 frfr !! (I’m writing this in public lmao)

Kaisen - JJK Entertainment ☆

- Gojo Satoru

- Geto Suguru

idols!satosugu who trusted you too easily, falling asleep the second you submitted to their touch. Suguru’s head on your lap and Satoru’s chin on your shoulder as he pulled you in closer. You could feel the warmth of their breaths on your skin. The cold breeze of the air conditioner making you shudder a bit since Satoru had insisted on removing your heavy winter clothing off of you the moment you entered their hotel room.

idol!suguru who woke up first. He stood up gently, making sure not to wake both you and Satoru up. Although Satoru was a pain in the ass, they were still best friends. He went to the room’s closet and got a blanket and draped it over your and Satoru’s sleeping frames.

idol!satoru who’s still holding you tight. He doesn’t want to let go, he never wants to let go. His head was now hung over the couch’s back rest while you were leaning on his chest, curled up in a ball, still propped on his lap.

You wake up half an hour after Suguru did. Your eyes fluttered awake as the unfamiliar scent of Satoru’s cologne hit your nose. You placed your hands on his chest so you could steadily push yourself up, making the blanket fall to the ground.

The motion of your hands on his chest itself was enough to wake him up. He pulled you to his chest, rendering you unable to get off of him.

idol!suguru who sighed as he saw Satoru pull you to him. “Satoru, let her stand up if she wants to.” He softly spoke. Oh how you loved his voice. And when he’s singing, god! You just want him to hold you close and have him whisper dirty things in your ear.

idol!satoru who snaps you out of your thoughts by being the one to whisper in your ear. “G’morning princess,” he said in a low, sultry voice. Upon hearing his voice you turned red, you couldn’t even respond and this made Satoru chuckle. You were too easy to tease!

idols!satosugu who received new messages from their manager;

manager – kaisen

All flights from Korea to Tokyo are cancelled right now, I’m afraid that we can’t get to the both of you until next week.

For now, have your food delivered to the hotel room. Don’t go out and make sure the girl doesn’t talk. Who even is she?!

Seen by Satoru and Suguru– 6:09

Satoru – kaisen

Oh she won’t talk to the press, she’s literally right here!

Seen by manager and Suguru– 6:09

manager – kaisen

Wdym “she’s right here” ???

Seen by Satoru and Suguru– 6:10

Satoru – kaisen

*sent a picture*

Seen by manager and Suguru– 6:11

idol!satoru who took a selfie with you to show their manager. He got his phone in front of the two of you and he made sure to emphasize the intimate position you were both in. “Smile f’me princess.” And you did as you were told. “Good girl.”

idols!satosugu whose manager was livid knowing they brought you to their hotel room. Now their manager had no choice but to fix it.

idol!suguru who had already ordered breakfast for the three of you. His intimidating looks really didn’t match his caring personality. He was such a good malewife! His fans really weren’t kidding with the title they gave him.

idol!satoru who would stick his tongue out at Suguru, refusing to let you out of his grasp. “Come on Satoru! At least let her eat!” Suguru snapped.

idol!suguru who sighed and gave up. Instead of bringing you to the dining area, he brought the food to you, placing it neatly on the coffee table. Suguru then fed you since Satoru continued to act like a baby and restrict your movement. He was too clingy!

idols!satosugu who constantly cling onto you. They were taller and stronger than you were so there was no way you could escape. It wasn’t like you didn’t like having their attention though. You sighed to yourself. How would you survive the week with them?

Comment 🪩 to be on my taglist !

[falllpoutboy]

the whole sydcarmy argument in 2.08 is such crazy work on both of their parts. he’s like hmm i’ve been planning and drawing out the menu items literally this is what she wants and i’m giving it to her? why is she so upset? and she’s like umm first of all since when can you draw like picasso (both of them are ignoring the fact that he could’ve actually cooked the thoughtful chaos menu he drew out at home alone or with claire but instead he chose to whip out the color pencils rather than cook it without sydney), second why have you left me out of all the decision making process regarding OURRRR menu? why are you 🫵🏾 doing all the stuff we used to do with a someone you don’t even know if she’s your girlfriend or a GIRL thats a FRIEND??? then carmy’s malewife submissive ass apologizes like sorry queen 🥺 i’ll try to be less shitty now 🥺🥺 if you say claire is my girlfriend then i guess she’s my girlfriend anything you for queen/muse/business & life partner/wife/reason i’m even here rn

meanwhile the rest of the staff are looking at them like this

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Crack Ship War - Round 2 Side E

CoraBelle art by @halacska-fins

'Arctic Birds' art made by @cherself

Propaganda under the cut.

CoraBelle:

A surprisingly popular ship considering they never interacted, but I see the appeal. Both former Marines, both loving and caring adoptive parents.

Two of the best parents in One Piece, imagine if they both lived and raised a happy little mixed family together.

Best adoptive Dad + Best adoptive Mom. I think they would vibe.

Cora is Bell-mere's malewife failure and she loves him. She enjoys making him flustered and tripping him up. He is just heads over heels in love with her, he loves her so much Just the thought of Bell-mere making a man who's twice her size completely melt for her fills me with joy. They were both apart of the Marines and ended up adopting children while on the job. I'm not exactly sure who died first but learning about your lover's death (if it wasn't covered up) is amazing angst potential. They're watching over their kids in the afterlife together.

Dead serial adopting Marines smokers, what else is there to say?

hi i’m back with my corabelle agenda. these two are a match made in heaven. literally. they have so many narrative parallels, it hurts. they both sacrificed themselves for their adoptive kids’ longevity, they’re both former marines who deserted their positions in order to give these kids a better life. they were both killed by a flintlock, and their last words to their kids were “i love you.” !!! it’s uncanny!! they could have known each other when they were marines, too! bell-mere is just one year older than rosinante. they were from different blues, but there’s a chance they could have run into each other or even trained together for a period of time. bell-mere would be the perfect friend for a young rosinante who’s preoccupied and stressed over his brother. in terms of personality, that’s where we get some of that juicy opposites-attract theory into play. they do have a lot in common tho! some common flaws, (hotheaded, a bit irrational, impulsive), and some common strengths as well, (determined, fearless, values the strength of a smile)! but otherwise, bell-mere isn’t afraid to lay the flirt on and seems a bit more extroverted, where rosinante is a little more reserved and keeps a very small circle of friends, (literally one and it’s sengoku). someone direct like bell-mere could easily draw him out of his shell, and someone down-to-earth and occasionally goofy like rosinante could help keep her grounded.

Both marines with rough lives who seemingly picked up children when they weren’t expecting it. Bellemere would make a great mom to Law and Corazon would make a great dad to Nami and Nojiko. Both of them would bond over the bullshit of the world!!

Art by @gendervapor14

Arctic Birds: -Aesthetically speaking, they're great looking together -I think they balance each other well, would understand each other, each have heavy responsibilities and expectation weighting on their shoulders and are very specific in the companies they like to share.

[lostonmyroad]

Moments That I Want Tattooed On My Forehead From S-Classes That I Raised Chapters 70-90

As always, BEWARE OF SPOILERS!!! Future chapters may be referenced!!!

Omg i forgot how much I loved these arcs. Taejinjae squad is forming (i mean they're 5 seconds away from murdering each other but still)

Chapters 70-80

yerim roasting yoojin’s grandpa-like naming tendencies as she should. naming the unicorns black and white???

yoojin wanting to go to an escape room cafe with yerim and yoohyun :))) AND THEN THEY ACTUALLY DO GO LMFAO (with some property damage involved i'm sure)

yoohyun casually checking whether he needs to get rid of (murder) myeongwoo once he finds out that yoojin didn't actually know him

yoohyun and hyuna tag teaming to defend yoojin in front of the Association!!! Squad goals!!!

yoojin worrying about myeongwoo :)) myeongwoo not caring that yoojin lied to him ;)) wholesome as hell...if you can't tell this is one of my favorite relationships in the series

yoojin’s monster protection squad!!

really small detail that hyj thought shj would give myeongwoo a bouquet also. no sir that privilege (curse?) is for you only. 

lmao yoohyun knowing that the way to get to myeongwoo is to be nice to yoojin

myeongwoo praising yoojin on national tv, on a live broadcast the world is watching. as he should!!!

yoojin: please don’t look at me please don’t look at me

yoojin’s fear of the media and what ppl are saying about him :((

fully grown Peace!! love Peace and Yoohyun’s not-friendship

yoojin: let me go in an A rank dungeon PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

everyone else around him: i’m getting gray hairs

moon hyuna pulling up in her red sports car with the drip is incredible

shj, @ the han brothers: you guys are freaks :)))

yoojin: should i call shj ahjusshi?? (please don't)

shj calling them his kids ajfjejxkwksk

shj and hyj flirting has begun. please reread the chapters and enjoy

not yoojin babysitting 3 s ranks at the same time

"I mean, I'd just wanted to regress and live comfortably. Why was I now in an A-rank dungeon packed with S-ranks? If I'd agreed when Yoohun-ie had said to just live locked up for 3 years, um... would we have gotten an 'end of the world ending?" rip yoojin

they’re all so worried about him :)

“i only had to work myself to the bone for 10 years” if you say so buddy

yoojin being worried about the world possibly ending

hyuna trying to protect? yoojin from hyunjae (or just keep him to herself) either way thank you queen

YOOJIN SCOLDING THEM FOR FIGHTING mom energy off the charts

yoojin telling everyone i love you is comedy gold every. single. time. and also very wholesome

yoojin going full manipulate malewife threatening them (the s-ranks) with myeongwoo

chirpie and it’s wack L rank skill..the mystery

i love seeing yoojin directing dungeon raids. geunseo really knows how to write settings/action!! and yoojin’s perspective is so fun to follow

YERIM GIVING YOOJIN A PRINCESS CARRY YEAHHHH

keyword has been applied to hyuna my beloved

shj making yoojin almost faint and then giving him his coat. they're a mess

shj failed kidnapping attempt. we’ll get em next time. yoojin stop getting kidnapped challenge

yoojin causing chaos every time he enters a dungeon

yoojin fainting like a maiden 10/10

yoojin you’re literally in the hospital. chill out for like five seconds (he proceeds to destroy his hospital room via dokkaebi)

shj: i will buy your love :)) (turns out its kind of effective)

NOAH ENTRANCE NOAH ENTRANCE

chapters 80-90

i haven’t really mentioned the dokkaebi but they’re so cute

yoojin destroying his hospital room lmao. this is not reassuring anyone that he knows how to make good decisions 

SONG TAEWON MAKES HIS DEBUT!!! repressed government worker of my dreams

shj deliberately crashing into song taewon’s crusty ass car and then stealing his job as tour guide. freak 4 freak

yerim and shj: working together on making life more difficult for song taewon

Comet the dragon is so cute omgggg

Kang Soyoung having a million speeding tickets so true bestie

KANG SOYOUNG AND HYUNA GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM TOGETHER!!! AND GETTING THE FASTEST TIME BECAUSE THEY BROKE IT LMFAOOO

hyunjae freaking yoojin out by flirting with him. but like yoojin can’t help flirting back i love them

stw joking around with yoojin and yerim about randomly arresting people??? lmao??? comedy king??

yoojin worried yerim is becoming a delinquent (too late bestie this ship has sailed)

yoojin saying he's never commited any crimes and then internally going "...I'd committed murder, threatening, and assault. But I wouldn't get caught for those" we love a self aware king

song taewon casually revealing that he ends up investigating yoohyun every three months. i believe it. yoohyun a certified freak

song taewon: so your brother is a freak just thought I'd let you know

there are so many different people who independently tell yoojin that his brother is a freak. yoohyun be normal challenge

infamous song taewon choking yoojin out to see if he’s truly lost his sense of danger scene!!! honestly yoojin this was necessary

fear resistance and the fourth wall: being absolutely fucked

love that yoojin's solution to this is should i start watching horror movies at home??

yoojin: i cant apply the “i love you” keyword to stw because he’ll take it TOO seriously like yeah that's the real reason you can't do that

YERIM IN A SUIT YERIM IN A SUIT

NOAH NOAH NOAH

yoojin wishing he’d gotten hurt instead of yerim :((

small detail of the healer being Indian! as an indian person woo hoo

"...I stepped towards Noah. But the moment I took a single step...my shoulders were grabbed. Both of them, at that. Sung Hyunjae and Song Taewon looked down at me simultaneously. The duo's expressions were different, but somehow they felt familiar." my longest yeah boy ever

taejinjae squad starting to form!!

yoojin seeing a terrible older sibling: it’s on sight (rip Riette)

"You two seem to get along well. Should I alos strangle you once?" LMAOOO i don’t even know man shj is wild

starting to get reveals of the han brothers past… god their parents…

hyunjae being a shady shit behind the scenes

noah is just a baby boy. he’s a baby dragon. baby boy

yoojin going full mother hen on yoohyun after he comes out of his solo dungeon raid

yoohyun grudgingly accepting others because they’re also protecting yoojin

chapter 89 yoohyun is something that is so so special to me

not shj fueling the violence by sending yoohyun picture of a) the damaged hospital room b) evidence of stw choking yoojin out and c) evidence of noah hurting yoojin

KANCOEDI YOOHYUNS CLOSET FULL OF CELL PHONES BC HE KEEPS BREAKING THEM

yoojin not being afraid of yoohyun or peace with fear resistance off :))

chapter 90 fight between yoohyun and noah is. chefs kiss

yoohyun asking where yerim got hurt!!! i mean it’s partially so he has a reason to beat up Noah but!! he does care!!

I'd say this is where the plot really starts (80+ chapters in lmao), especially with the fight againt the SS-rank babbar.

[endomentendo]

Out of all tadc what’s your top 5 favorite ships and why?

Showtime: Because they are cute, and I love a goofy malewife and a straight man lass as a couple.

bluetooth: Roger rabbit’s love life infected me.

Ragapom: I love a good lesbian relationship.

Abstradegy: a laidback no nonsense girlboss with her sensitive weeb of a partner.

ribbun: blame @vikita-doodles for making me fall in love with her au’s relationship. Love you bestie.

bounus: I love loo x Ragatha too. I also think Pomni x Gummigu is cute! And kinger and queenie is for the win.

but seriously I don’t care and I’m a multi shipper anyways. Have fun, I’m literally insignificant in the eyes of the worms and slugs that crawl beneath us.

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐭'𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!    

a/n: I’m on that goddamn Ted Lasso train binches. Please don’t let me be the only one that is in love with ... everyone. Also - this is the ONLY team I will ever care about. 

Warnings: sWEARINGS hehe, mentions of family abuse, childhood trauma

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ      

ESTP

Slytherin

Chaotic Neutral

The Hanged Man

Leo Sun, Pisces Moon, Gemini Rising

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿  

・Was he a prick when you first knew him? Fuck yes. But did he grow and become a better man? HELL FUCKING YES.

・You knew Jamie from your school years, he was always the prick, the jock who would tease anyone just so no one would see the hurt he endured

・You used to stand up to him all the time - putting him in his place

・The funny thing was, that later in your life, your brother was chosen for the Richmond team

・And you were forced to go to every game by your mother, and see your former bully play on the same team as your brother 

・It was such a weird situation, and yet you tried to make the best of it. 

・Somehow you became incredibly close friends with Keeley. She saw you trying to find the locker room, to wish your brother good luck. And you became fast friends. 

・Your relationship with Keeley became really important, and once you found out about her and Jamie (after they split up), you were shocked.

  “But, but you’re so - you!” 

“What are you talkin’ about?” 

   “You’re so ... gorgeous, and funny and open-minded...the complete opposite of Jamie!” 

・She just shook her head with a sad smile, “there’s a lot about him that people don’t see. Or understand.” 

・Keeley actually became one of your biggest shippers

・It was a slowburn romance. A lot of stolen glances, baseless insults and light-hearted complaining about the other. 

・Everyone could see it but the two of you

・And you both denied your feelings over and over and over again

・Even Coach Lasso could see it, and it wasn’t until Roy told Jamie to stop being suck a twat, that Jamie realised his feelings 

・Keeley gave her blessing, because you’d never go breach your friendship over a guy 

・When you started going out, Jamie did everything he could to impress you - take you on the most expensive dates to restaurants; one of his ideas was to take you to Disneyland but Keeley said ... that was overdoing it a bit. (She said maybe after a year of dating you’d be comfortable with that idea)

・You were hesitant with the relationship because you didn’t want an immature partner. But although he can be childish at times, he really developed as a person. 

・He’s accountable for his actions - and actually went and apologised to everyone he bullied at school

・You made him watch the Prince of Egypt and he response throughout was “woahh babe, babe what-” “um...why aren’t more people talking about this?” 

・And he basically cried throughout the movie, especially at the end. And then he asked what happens to them after they escape and you’re like ... “babe c’mon. It’s - they’ve literally written...”

・Calls you “babe,” “sexy,” “sweetcheeks” 

・Actually really likes the show Outlander, like ... a lot. To the point that he binge watched it and wanted to dress up as Jamie Fraser for Halloween

・You go to all his games (I mean...your brother is on the same team, so really two birds one stone, right?)

・He always spots you in the crowd (easily done - you sit where Rebecca, Keeley and Higgins do) and when he does, he blows you a kiss. It’s always good luck when you catch it and place it on your heart 

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔    

”I love you, wholeheartedly.” x “You shouldn’t, I don’t deserve it.”

Tough on the Outside, Soft on the Inside  x The Top 

Malewife x Girl/Guy/Theyboss

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆  

Enemies to Lovers 

Second-Chance At Love

Late Love Realisation

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:    

Supersoaker by Kings of Leon

[bisexualfemalemess]

BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 PART TWO SPOILERS

I needed to make a part two 🫣 Anyway that hand kiss was so cute was it not? *threatening stare if you dare to say otherwise* HAHHA He really hates portia so bad. AWWWWW him saying that he wants to see Cressida watch penelope in her triumph, he’s truly such a wife guy. LADY DANBURY IS A SHIPPER AND PENELOPE SUPPORTER MUCH LIKE VIOLET. MY LORD THAT GIRL IS TRULY SO LOVED. Agatha seems to have clocked violet’s and marcus’ tea. ELOISE I GET YOU BABY GIRL BUT PLEASE THE ULTIMATUM WAS SO UNNECESSARY. At least wait till the morning, my god. Now she’s gonna panic at her own engagement ball, my poor baby pen ;(aww not killmartin being so nervous that poor man. Violet hates portia so bad, it’s so funny how not one of the bridgertons likes anyone from that family other than my babygirl pen. Ooh toast time. Aww that speech was so cute 🥹🥹🥹🥹 the callback to their first meeting. Poor baby pen already looks so guilty and then eloise decides to swoop in with her fucking shady speech like girl i really do love you and get where you’re coming from but once again i ask you to read the fucking room because there’s a time and place for that shit and it’s not at her engagement ball to your fucking brother. Violet’s a queen for forcing her to save that speech and once again portia needs to leave her ulterior motives at the fucking door. Penelope really is not used to love from her mother she looks so uncomfortable when portia says shes proud like “ha. Yeah. Totally.” Kate saving the engagement ball or pregnant queen truly is working overtime this season. I just now this charades scene is gonna be chaotic asf and i’m here for it because we all know how competitive this bunch is from last season. Kate and Penelope are gonna be the cutest sister-in-laws i just know they’re gonna form an alliance in support of the loser malewife husbands. Anthony’s so fucking competitive and i commend kate for keeping her cool because the way she closed her eyes truly showed how tired she was of that man lmao. Man i can’t handle pen and eloise’s awkwardness just give me my besties back jfc like they’re so in sync, continuously getting each other’s words. ELOISE GUESSING FRIENDSHIP IN THAT TONE LIKE BITCH DONT GIVE HER THAT ATTITUDE AND JUST MAKE UP???? THAT BITCH LOOK SHE GAVE PENELOPE??? seriously they’re dragging this storyline out i need them back so soon. Creloise fighting :( how sad, oh, well, maybe peneloise can come back now. Kate is so welcoming to john she’s so queen. AWWW JOHN AND FRANCESCA ARE SO FUCKING CUTE. Not colin mentioning lady whistledown and everyone laughing put some respect on the queen’s name jfc she’s right next you. “Certainly any hope of marriage” AND THEN PENELOPE TURNS TO HIM LIKE STOP IT RN My baby’s having a full blown panic attack ;( Aww kanthony wanting to tell people they’re expecting a cute little scene for my kanthony heart 🥺🥺🥺 Not penelope having an actual full blown panic attack in colin’s study while everyone’s talking about whistledown in the next room. And colin following her but deciding not to bother her ;( like baby ‘tis not you she’s just going through something rn. It’s so eating away at her. My babies, colin’s so worried she doesn’t want to marry him when in fact she’s worried that everything’s gonna come crashing down at midnight. Not penelope literally being unable to breathe yet everyone else is still happily wrapped up in the party??? Like that girl is full on crumbling in her fiancé’s arms and you’re telling me no one’s noticed? Like i wanna be happy about kanthony telling the moms about the grandchild (i am who are we kidding) but penelope’s currently fighting for her life trying to not crumble. CRESSIDA FUCK OFF NOT THE KANTHONY COCK-BLOCK AND PENELOPE FAINTING MY POOR BABY. Now everyone’s crowding her. Truly so loved that girl

[bunnyksj]

Parent!Tan - 0T7 HEADCANNONS

Summary: BTS take in a 10 year old kid, who's a bit of a menace but means well !!

Author’s Note: I LOST THE OG REQUEST BUT IT WAS ADORABLE !! for @elissasimp TYSM for the req (>w<) heres some headcanons on what i think their dynamic would be lool. SORRY IF IT TOOK A LITTLE WHILE : ( 

TAGS: PURE FLUFF !!!, JIN IS A MALEWIFE, jungkook and jimin being menaces, literally just a bunch of silliness, the kid uses she/her pronouns :3

Jin: 

-CAN I JUST SAY JIN IS 1000% GOING FULL MALEWIFE. He has the apron on, rushing around the kitchen, scrubbing the floors etc. He always checks in on the kid every once in a while. Lowkey would feel a little shocked at the kids' attitude, but wouldn't get angry, mostly just sighing, brushing it off. Always scolding the other members for their antics. 

“Jungkook, what did I say about lifting her? You dropped her on her head last time!” He snaps, his hand pushing his hair back away from his face. 

Just a few moments of peace and quiet was all he wanted. Not like that's ever been a thing in their house (not like he’d admit for being a huge contributor to that), but he wished it was. Who could blame him though? Cooking for 6 people, plus a whole child, isn't an easy job. He sighs, turning around to look back at the two, engaged in a serious playfight, a small smile creeping on his face. 

Yoongi: 

-I feel like at FIRST Yoongi would be distant, but not in the cold, heartless, edgy type of way, he's more scared of not being a good parental figure for her :(. Her slight attitude would totally throw him off at first, not exactly being totally confident he can take good care of her. AFTER GETTING TO KNOW HER THOUGH HE'D TOTALLY COME AROUND!! Watching movies with her, sitting her on his lap while he produces and even chasing her around with Jungkook. 

“You see?” He said. “This is how I do my work, fun right?” 

The kid rolls her eyes, a bored but playful smile on her face. 

“Can we do something fun now?” 

He laughs softly, a small smile appearing on his face. “Sure, what’d you want to do?” 

“There's this film I've been DYING to see.” 

“Oh yeah? Tell me about it.” 

It wasn't what he was expecting, but hey, he can't say he didn't have fun. 

Hoseok:  

-I FEEL LIKE HOSEOK WOULD THINK HE’D BE SO GOOD, like “omg we’ll play games and have fun !! that's what kids like right ??” and then he’d be like “??” when he meets her, her snappy and sassy attitude takes him by surprise, lowkey confused on how to communicate with her right. BUT HE WOULDN'T GIVE UP, keeping his upbeat energy to help her feel alright !!

“Hey, Hey, Hey !!!” He calls out to her. 

She sighs, shaking her head. “What do you want, Hoseok.”

“Cmon, you've been sitting here for literally 3 days, aren't you tired of sitting at home all the time?”

“I..I guess.” 

He smiles widely, reaching out his hand. “Let's go then.” 

“Go where..” She responds, fighting back a smile. 

“Wherever you want, the mall, park, beach. Who cares? Let’s do something fun.” 

She thinks for a moment, before a small smile spreads across her face. 

“Alright.” 

Namjoon: 

-GENTLE GIANT. He’d have a responsible, overprotective father figure sort of vibe. Constantly nagging her to be careful, stay safe, making sure she’s eaten ect, earning an eye roll in return. CONSTANTLY THINKING AND WORRIED ABOUT HER. 

“Namjoon, put the phone down. You’ve called Hobi 5 times since we’ve been out.”

“You remember what happened last time we left him in charge of the kid?” He snaps back. “He nearly burnt down the whole goddamn apartment!” 

“Joon, we’re five minutes away from the apartment, what’s the worst that could happen.” Taehyung replies, tapping the steering wheel. “I’m sure everything is fine.” 

“They better be..” Namjoon grumbles. 

Jimin: 

-An absolute menace. Constantly going back and forth with the girl, they have fights and “insult” battles all the damn time. Giggling in between the playful banter. He is 100% the first one to want to get into all the gossip and shit talking, even starting most of it with her. 

Jimin sat at the table, giggling into his hands. They both sat at the kitchen table, talking about everything and anything, small smirks on their faces. 

“What the hell are you two on about now?” 

“How rank your cooking is Jin, leave us alone..” Jimin snaps back, earning a giggle from the seat beside him (and a shocked Jin). 

Taehyung:

-Taehyung is like Namjoon but way more relaxed LMAO. He’s always lingering around, staying out of her way, but making sure she's safe. Pulling up to every award ceremony, dance recital, sports game. He doesn't care. He had his phone out, recording every second of it. 

Taehyung sits only a few rows from the front, both hands on his phone, making sure he's recording everything. 

“Hey!” He says, leaning in closer to the person next to him. “You see the one just on the left, yeah. She’s mine.” He says proudly, the biggest grin spreading across his face. 

Jungkook: 

-Like Hobi, but cooler. He’s the one that everyone likes, the one that the kid would want to come pick her up from school. He gets a little carried away sometimes though 😭, carrying her around or chasing her. In return, he gets shoes and other various items thrown at him.  

“No.” Jungkook says firmly. 

“Please! Cmon, you have too.” 

Jungkook rolls his eyes. She asked to play one of her stupid little songs, like he would give in. 

He does. 

He pretends to be annoyed, softly humming the tune. By the end of the car ride, he's full on belting, hand bopping to the rhythm.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵