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#I’m obsessed with making these dumb little comics of stuff I talk about with my bestie on FaceTime while playing
cinnamontoads · 9 months
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been playing the metal gear collection for the first time this week
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dtmsrpfcringe · 1 month
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You really are a dumb fuck, aren't you? You repeated exactly what I said, then told me I was wrong for saying what you parroted back to me. Living in your brain must be fucking insufferable.
Your own words were that they did not know each other ten years ago. Incorrect.
They have both said that they have known each other socially (i.e., friends) since 2001. They did not become close until they were in Good Omens. Yes, that is what I said. That's what you agreed to after I corrected your initial false statement. My god, little wonder you think this blog is a good idea when these are your thought processes.
Nothing else you said makes the slightest bit of sense. I can't even decipher the point of that word salad, and I am a teacher. Why would Michael use the names of the characters when he is talking about the show that the characters are in? What? You are reaching so hard that it is comical.
You are a class act making jokes about a congenital defect that kills newborn infants. Is that the kind of thing the mother of a newborn infant who claims to be a nurse would do? We have established that you are lying about both of those things. You are just an awful person. When it comes down to the real point of this blog, you don't care about the greater good of the fandom. You only want attention. You are shouting about a tiny corner of Tumblr that draws no attention to itself. You bring attention to it. You make it loud. Even when it disappears, you keep bringing it back. What's the real point here? You want attention for yourself. You want to be the hero in a war that doesn't exist.
Maybe you don't ship the hairband. Maybe you just have bad taste in music? I don't care. Either way, you have no place calling out anyone when you support those losers. They are the epitome of the scum of society. Actual misogynists. One of them even murdered someone while driving drunk. That is just the tip of the iceberg. But someone no one knows said something mean about Georgia Tennant on Tumblr? Someone suggests that two men who keep talking about having sex and being in love might be in love. Better clutch your pearls over that! Pathetic.
bae that isn’t what you said. You said they’ve been friends for almost 25 years. Do you write things and just fucking forget them? Or can you just not stop lying?
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I can’t imagine being a teacher and just constantly being so goddamn wrong, I bet your students can’t stand you.
also saying you don’t have a brain isn’t making fun of a congenital defect babe. I’m neither lying about being a mom or healthcare professional. Most people I talk to pretty regularly here have seen my baby, and it would be pretty hard work to have an entire baby to…fake being a mom??? I’m not going to put my baby’s face on here to prove to someone like you that she’s real, and frankly I think it’s a little strange you wanna see that bad babe. Like? Your obsession with an internet stranger’s newborn (i guess infant now omfg) is kinda creepy.
As for my health certification, you don’t know shit actually. I busted my ass in high school to be licensed because of the people who helped me as a kid. Also I’m not a nurse😉 you are right about that. There’s more to healthcare than your RN and MDs lol. You seem like you’d yell at underpaid healthcare workers in the worst way possible.
you obviously did understand, but didn’t want to lick your wounds and slink into the corner.
btw this group absolutely does draw attention to yourself. I found these people by looking for cute Georgia and Anna stuff and finding hate and misogyny spread about them. As for Motley Crue, I hardly listen to them anymore, if literally ever. I haven’t posted anything about them in over a year and that is why I removed 2000 of my followers on instagram and made it private to have a personal acc. I just never bothered changing the username lol. So try again I guess.
Anyways here’s my daily reminder to you that David and Michael would be disgusted with you. Hope you have the day you deserve!
Keep sending these I think we’re falling in love boo🚨🔵🚨🔵
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clambuoyance · 2 years
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ngl I know nothing ab your DC blorbos except they're gay and cool or something Idk I just think they're neat... I'd ask what comics I could read ab them being super blorbo-y but Idk...
OKAY so there’s a lot of characters in dc but the ones I draw/talk about the most are these group of friends!! They feature in Young Justice 1998, Teen Titans 2003, and Young Justice 2019, as well as having their own comics and other appearances :)
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each comic run has different vibes but my personal favorite is yj1998 bc I like its wacky and zany vibes. It was not my first comic though, and it’s a little older so it might be hard to understand or read if it’s your first time reading comics like this, and again it is old soooo some stuff does Not age well such as certain jokes or depictions and it is of course not all perfect but overall I love it and think it has a lot of heart
I think i have a lot of fun with it bc it feels so…animated? And it has funny slapstick humor. Honestly I probably like it bc it makes me laugh the same way ninjago makes me laugh…a group of 4+ friends that have cute dynamics with each other and just Being Silly Together. I really don’t know how to explain it but between all three runs, I can see yj1998 in my head the most as a wacky animated show with exaggerated bouncy animation idk so that’s part of the fun for me. I think the moment I realized this was going to be a long term emotional investment was When I read the issue where they randomly end up on a planet and have to play baseball bc I am a SUCKERRR for baseball shenanigans
But yeah the group starts out with Bart, Tim, and Kon in JLA: A world without Grownups, and they just have a good trio dynamic 🙏 the banter between all three is so good 🤩and I liked seeing their friendship develop throughout yj1998 too! Especially for Tim, with his hesitancy at the beginning.They weren’t without conflict ofc but that adds to why I like them bc eventually they became besties for life. They are also quickly joined by others but the main one that stays w the group through all three runs is Cassie Sandsmark , aka Wonder Girl ii.
But yeah I guess some things I like are the way they actually Hang out? like they will do camping trips or go to the mall and games together etc etc, but there will be parts that feel more serious while never losing that humorous tint to it. For some examples, I love how Tim tries to be a leader in the beginning, but then one arc shows just how much Cassie is more fitting for it, and how they bond over Leader things like how hard it is to tell Bart what to do and then will share a really nice hug 🥺, and I love Cassie and Cissie’s relationship a LOT because they sometimes misunderstand each other but clearly care for each other (they aren’t canon but in my heart they are.) I also like Tim and kon’s build towards understanding and friendship for a similar reason, and cissie and Anita also have a nice development with each other, but yeah all the dynamics are just fun to think about tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️ I am pointing at them eagerly and going “wow! Friendship!!”
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And as for the guy I never shut up about…well that’s a whole thing I could ramble about but i became obsessed with him the moment he quoted Peter Pan while lamenting about how he was afraid his friends would leave him behind after several issues of him acting like Hot Shit and erm I’m predictable so it got to me 🙄 also he makes dumb jokes every second like he expects someone to laugh at them like he’s so dumb sometimes….anyways I do not want to ramble too much so I will get on with it
I was only familiar with his black tshirt look before, so when I first saw this goofy looking dumbass with a leather jacket and glasses and an earring I WAS LIKE “THATS SUPERBOY? THATS REAL?” and quickly became interested in the notion of a Superman associated hero wearing something like this bc I don’t think my brain ever considered the possibility before….also it is something I cannot explain some panels just activate my cuteness aggression 😔 I just think he’s really cute 🫶🫶🫶
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spencersawkward · 3 years
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*house call // wes (Dollface)*
ssummary: when her pet cat gives her a scare, Reader decides to call the vet to make sure everything is going to be okay. 
pairing: Fem!Reader x Wes
word count: 5.4k
content warnings: discussion of cannabis/cannabis consumption, unprotected penetrative sex, use of nicknames (baby, sweetheart), SoftDom!Wes, breeding kink, creampie. 
request: can you do a wes smutty one shot if you’re down?! 
A/N: to be fair, i haven’t watched Dollface in a minute, but i’m obsessed with the domestic vibes that Matthew gives off when he plays Wes and i just thought it would be super cute. anyway, this was super fun also i wanna fuck Wes. ok enjoy!
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the absolute best part of your day is when the package arrives at your doorstep. you impulse-purchased it about two weeks ago while you were hanging out with one of your close friends, and you've been looking forward to trying it every day since. 
or, really, for your cat to try it. 
you've read reviews and been extremely diligent to make sure the stuff is completely safe, and everything you've seen or read was singing the praises of this cat weed (which isn't actually cannabis at all, but catnip made to look like it).
as you take the cardboard box to the kitchen table and pry open the top with the help of a Swiss army knife, you're grinning. Klimt comes scampering into the room to see what all the fuss is about, sitting at your feet with his tail curled around his legs. 
"no peeking." you scold him gently. your kitten, the friendliest little rescue tabby around, simply stares blankly back. when you remove the wrapping from the glass jar and stare at it up close, you're impressed by how realistic it looks. the label shows cat-friendly ingredients only, but you unscrew the top and get a whiff of catnip. 
Klimt begins to weave in between your legs, nudging them affectionately and beginning to purr. you giggle and bend down to give him a few pets. his nose twitches; he tries to sniff at the foreign object, but you put it back on the table. 
"don't be greedy, babe." you scratch between his pointed ears and he lets out a whiny meow. 
it's about his dinner time, and you were hoping to give him his treat tonight after he finishes his dry food. so you make yourself something simple with the leftovers in your fridge and do some more work on your laptop while you two eat together. 
you've had Klimt for a while, now. you call him a kitten even though he's a full-grown cat-- he's just as playful and enthusiastic as any newborn. his eyes are the color of meadow grass, and his nose is scattered with tiny freckles. it makes him look like he's just come from digging around the backyard, but it really just adds to his charm. 
not to mention his ceaselessly social tendencies: Klimt is always around when your friends come over, worming his way in between you or sitting on one of the free chair cushions to listen. you wonder if he knows what you're saying sometimes, because when you talk about the embarrassing things you've done that day or the failed interactions you've had, he always lifts his head to give you something of a judgmental stare. 
once you've settled down for the evening and turned on the TV, you decide that now is the time. Klimt is aimlessly poking at a few of his toys. he bats at a fake mouse between his paws.
"kitten," you click your tongue and get up to grab the jar. "are you ready to try this stuff?" 
as if he's going to answer. he hears your footsteps coming back his way and watches patiently. it's only when you pour out a little bit in front of him that he gets curious about the stuff. you admire his movements as he bends down and examines. 
although you keep an eye on him while watching your show, you don't notice much of a change in him. he starts to roll about on the floor, which is to be expected, but it's only when he starts to chase around his fake mouse that things get interesting. 
you laugh as Klimt goes nuts, jumping back and attacking the thing like he's ready to come in for the kill. it's really funny, but you're interrupted by your phone buzzing. you told your friend that you were doing this tonight. 
"hi!" you answer the FaceTime call right away. 
"how is he?" you can hear the smile in Andi's voice as you turn the camera. 
"he's loving it." 
"oh my god," she laughs. Klimt arches his back, leaping so highly in the air, you raise your eyebrows. "I wonder how long it'll last." she muses. 
"I'm guessing we'll get about an hour more of this before he passes out for the next two days." you joke. he gets strong bursts of energy usually, but they only last so long until he's curled up on the window sill or in your bed. 
Andi and you talk for a while as Klimt tires himself out and plays with all of his favorite toys. you dangle a string in front of him for a decent amount of time, too, just to make him get up on his hindquarters. he's a natural entertainer, a lithe little thing who lets out a few irritated meows to demonstrate his impertinence. 
after about forty-five minutes, however, you notice your cat's behavior change. he keeps raising his hackles and rolling about, and something about it makes you nervous. he doesn't usually act like this, not even when he plays with the other catnip toys he's accumulated. 
"what's wrong?" Andi notes your furrowed brow as you look past the camera of your phone and at your pet. 
"he's just acting really weird," you pat the couch cushion to call him over, but he doesn't even glance up. "I don't know why." 
"maybe it's the cat weed." she suggests. you purse your lips and try to think. 
"yeah, but nobody in the reviews ever mentioned anything like this."
"I'm sure he's fine, Y/N."  
"yeah, I know..." but you're worried. Klimt is your pal, your cuddle buddy. as he rubs his cheek against the wooden floor, you feel guilt pool in your stomach. if he's hurt because of some dumb online purchase, you're never going to forgive yourself. "I'm gonna call the vet just to be sure."  
"oh, okay," she sounds surprised, but doesn't try to stop you. "let me know what they say." 
"I will." you hang up the phone and stare at your companion for a few seconds. he leaps into the air and does a somersault before letting out some deeply disturbing whine that reminds you to call the vet. better safe than sorry.  
...
when the doorbell rings, you're practically twiddling your thumbs anxiously. Klimt hasn't settled at all, and you haven't even bothered to change out of your lounging ensemble. you're pretty sure you look a mess, but hopefully the person won't care too much. 
you don't know who to expect-- your usual vet is an older woman who is friends with your mom, but her receptionist said she was out tonight and would send over another vet to check it out. 
when you swing open the door, you immediately regret the decision to stay in sweatpants. 
"hi, I'm Wes." the guy gives you a friendly smile and holds up his bag. it's almost comically old-fashioned, something out of an old movie, and you half-expect him to be wearing a stethoscope around his neck. 
he's gorgeous, though. definitely a good amount older than you, tall with brown curls and stubble. his features stand out to you even under the porch light, and your mouth guppies idiotically. 
"hi," you manage. his eyes flicker to your hand, which is seemingly blocking him from coming inside the house, and you jolt back a little to let him in. you clear your throat. "sorry." 
as he steps inside and you close the door behind him, getting one tiny moment to yourself, your eyes widen. way to make yourself look like a bumbling fool. 
"I heard that there's a tabby who got into some catnip?" you catch him looking around the front of your house, eyes catching on the framed photos before finding yours again. you can feel the heat creeping up your cheeks, but nod confidently.  
"yeah, Klimt. he should still be in the living room." 
"Klimt? like the artist?" he chuckles and follows you into the rest of the home. his voice has a nice timbre to it, something low and gentle that fits well with his occupation.  
"yeah, exactly." you turn to smile at him. 
you hear the cat before you see him. he's climbed to the top of his cat tree and leaps down onto the ground, paws hitting the surface in a way that can't have been comfortable. he chirps and looks up at Wes, whose lips are turned up with amusement.    
"are you the man of the hour?" he asks, approaching the cat. Klimt's pupils get enormous and he prepares to pounce on the newcomer. 
"careful--" you start to warn him, but the cat launches himself right into Wes' arms. the vet turns to you, holding him to his chest, and grins. warmth spreads over your skin with embarrassment. "sorry." 
"no need to apologize," he starts to pet Klimt, who is only slightly struggling to escape. he wants to go wild again, but Wes isn't going to let go. "they call me the Cat Wrangler at the office." 
"really?" you snort. he brings your pet over to the couch and sets him on the cushions, careful to keep him in place. 
"no way." he shoots you a dazzling smile. the joke makes you giggle, and you feel yourself become even more self-conscious about the outfit you're wearing. this is just your luck, having hot guys come over when you distinctly look your worst. 
Wes scratches between Klimt's ears and glances up at you again. "is there any reason in particular you're worried about the catnip?" 
"yeah, actually," you nod, brought back to reality. "I know it's supposed to make them more playful, but he's just been acting weird and I got worried that there was something in it that messed with his head." 
"can I see the container for it?" he asks. you go to grab the jar, only to remember that it proudly announces itself as cannabis for cats. profound embarrassment causes you to hesitate with the stuff in your hands. 
it's not like he's here for you to flirt with, but you're still thinking about how stupid and young you're going to look with this stuff in front of him, a hot older guy who seems to have his life under control. you peek at him once more from the kitchen, at the way he smiles and starts to talk softly to Klimt as if he were a peer. 
he's kinda crazy, and it makes you smile. 
"it's cat weed." you hand him the glass container, and Wes breaks into a grin as he looks at the front. 
"oh my gosh, I've heard about this!" his eyes move quickly over the label. you're in shock. 
"really?"
"yeah, it's hilarious. here, can you make sure our friend here doesn't move while I read the ingredients?" he gestures. the knot of anxiety within you loosens a bit. you nod obediently, going to scoop up your pet and sit him on your lap. he's still squirmy, but he doesn't look ready to attack either of you, thankfully. 
"hey, you." you greet your pal affectionately. his tail is wagging impatiently while Wes kneels on the ground beside the couch. there's a silver ring on his finger, but you notice with relief that it's not on his fourth one. 
when he sets the jar down on the coffee table with the kind of smile that hints at some secret amusement, you frown. "what?"
"nothing," he shakes his head. "Klimt is gonna be totally fine."
"are you sure?" you pet the feline's smooth coat. 
"definitely. you know how drugs affect people differently?" he asks. you want to say no, you don't know that because why would you, but then you remember that there is quite literally a glass-blown bowl sitting on your kitchen table. 
"sure." you reply honestly. 
"it's the same with cats: some just feel the effects a little more." he shrugs. you think this over for a second. 
"that makes sense." 
"yeah, I'd estimate about an hour more of this wildcat behavior before he takes a ten-hour nap." he cracks another joke and you find yourself totally charmed by him. something about the way he talks just makes your heart beat like crazy.  
"that's a relief." 
he chuckles and stands up, grabbing the bag (which he never even had to use) and starting to walk out of the living room. you can smell his delicious cologne as he moves past you.  
"sorry for making you come out here so late." you apologize from the couch. Wes turns to look at you with an easygoing expression. his free hand is tucked into his pocket.  
"no worries. you have a lovely home." he gestures to the kitchen, and then at the bowl sitting there in the open. you have to fight the smile on your face.  
"thanks." you're smirking. right before he's about to head back out, you ask a question that's been wriggling around in your mind since he arrived. "why no title?" 
"you mean, like, Doctor or something?" he stops in the threshold. one hand leans against it while he answers your question. you still can't get over how tall he is. 
"sure. I mean, you are a doctor, right?" it comes out more dubious than you intended, but he doesn't get offended, only smiles. 
"yes, I'm a doctor. I went to Davis." he points like the school is right outside your door. you nod.  
"cool." 
there's a silence where you just look at each other, and you forget that you look like you just rolled out of bed. he clears his throat. 
"to answer your question, I just go by Wes because you're not my patient-- Klimt is." he points to the kitten, who is now chasing his own tail like a dog. you snort at the sight. 
"how humble of you." 
"I know, right?" he's joking. you find yourself not wanting him to leave, even though you've really just met. he's so sweet and funny and handsome... your stomach is flipping over and over like a schoolgirl. 
and it's stupid that you can't think of one plausible reason for him to stay, but every step he takes shortens your time to think. so you just blurt, instead. 
"would you want a beer?" 
Wes pauses and looks at you, an unreadable expression on his face. "a beer?" 
"yeah, I mean... you came all the way out here and I just feel bad for causing a fuss over nothing." you scramble slightly to justify your words. you don't ever drink beer-- do you even have any? god, this is embarrassing.  
the vet checks the watch on his wrist, then smiles at you with a halting kind of enjoyment, before nodding. "sure." 
"okay, great." you turn on your heel to hide the grin on your face. he follows you again to the kitchen area and leans against the counter while you open the fridge. the best form of flirting you can manage right now is bending over shamelessly and taking your time to poke around. 
thankfully, there are three cold bottles left towards the back. you take out two and use the tool in one of your drawers to pop the tops off. he watches patiently, takes a sip when you hand the drink to him. your eyes meet. 
"so, what prompted the cat weed purchase?" he starts the conversation effortlessly, and you try to keep your eyes from wandering over the shape of him. now that he's just standing in front of you, you're noticing the way his sweater sits against his frame, his long legs and the way his head rests on an elegantly-proportioned neck. 
"I just saw it and thought it would be fun." you shrug honestly. he smiles.  
"do you think you're gonna let him try it again another time?"  
"I don't know," you cross your arms over your chest. "I'm a little nervous, but he also was having a lot of fun until I made him sit still." 
"fair enough." you both turn your gazes to the cat. he's nudging a little toy ball with his nose and watching it roll across the floor. there are tiny bells inside that jingle. Wes turns back to you. "what do you do?"
"graphic designer." 
"an artist." he raises his brows, impressed. 
"not exactly saving animal lives, but I get by." you take another sip of your drink. 
"it's not like that, mostly." he rolls his eyes playfully. 
"then what's it like?"
"I just see and talk to people's pets all day. it's a pretty great job, even when it's not. you know?" he's optimistic about it. you're drawn to his positive energy, to the way he smiles when he speaks like he's preparing to deliver a witty joke. 
 you're hopelessly attracted to him, and the space between you is becoming unbearable. even though he's a guy you just met, you can feel in your gut that something about this is just right. you want his body against yours. 
 "you okay?" he breaks what you only now realize is a silence, and you blink to clear the dirty images from your mind. 
"yeah." only thinking about you fucking me against a countertop. it must be the fact that you haven't gotten laid in a while or something, because you usually aren't this attracted to people within the first hour. it takes longer for you to even want to kiss them.  
"what kind of stuff do you design?" he seems genuinely interested as he shifts and continues to nurse his drink.  
"I work for a tech startup downtown, so it's a lot of website work to make sure it's navigable and pretty." you try to sum up your duties, but it's hard when his hazel eyes are so intent. he listens to every word.  
"do you do personal work, too? like, just for you?" 
"actually, yeah!" this sparks your excitement. 
"can I see?" his smile widens. "only if you're comfortable, of course."  
"sure." you're beaming.  
he stays put as you start to go out of the kitchen, but then you smile. "you can come with." 
"oh." he sets his beer down on the counter and follows you, slightly surprised. but you don't care; you were nervous before, but he's stayed for this long. maybe he wants you, too. 
once you get to your bedroom, you're grateful that it's been freshly cleaned. there's even a bouquet from the flower's market sitting on your dresser, and you head over to the desk to sift through the drawers for what you want. 
"cool room." he compliments from the threshold. he's careful not to make you uncomfortable, but also can't resist the curiosity that draws his gaze from wall to wall. you find the stack of papers and smile. 
"thanks," you place the folder in his hands. "these are some printed versions of stuff I did last year." 
Wes immediately begins to flip through the art. him seeing your stuff makes you nervous, so you pretend to focus on straightening up the few items that sit on your desk. you wipe your fingertip over a nonexistent film of dust. 
"these are amazing," he says, holding a card stock copy in between his index and middle fingers. "holy shit."
"thank you." you're trying to keep from smiling too hard. you can tell that he's being genuine with his compliments, and it makes your heart swell. 
"definitely. are you showing anywhere?" 
"at an exhibit downtown a couple months back, but I've been so busy with work that personal stuff hasn't really been on the table, you know?"
he nods in understanding and continues to go through until the end. when he's finished, he looks up and sees you, his eyes concentrated. he doesn't speak at first, and an undercurrent ripples across the room. there are about three feet between you, and you have no excuse to lessen it. 
he licks his lips slowly. you purse yours, unsure of what to say. 
"I'm glad you called tonight." his voice is lower, slightly uncertain, like he's testing the boundaries. except you don't want boundaries right now. you want to go wild on him. 
"me, too." you reply. it's in your eyes, that begging for him to do what you're scared to initiate. 
your tongue is pressed to the back of your teeth in anticipation. and when he sets the art back on your desk and comes closer, you feel yourself give in. bubbles of excitement travel up your body as he grabs your face and bends down to kiss you. 
it's full, passionate, not the kind of kiss you give someone you've just met. laced with desire and longing, you respond immediately. hands immediately run to his forearms, over his shoulders as he imposes beautifully on your form. it's so hard, you lean back slightly. your torso presses against his until he pushes you against the wall. 
the slight gasp that escapes your lips causes him to smile, followed by your moan and clutching fingers. the material of his sweater, the taste of him mingled with that sophisticated, gentle smell of cologne that you want printed all over your skin. 
"come here." he murmurs against your mouth and reaches down to the back of your thigh so you can hook your leg around his waist. you whine at the easy access he has to grind against your core, both of you desperate. 
"Wes." you pant into his open mouth. he sucks on your bottom lip before finding your cheek and jaw. his fingertips tighten around your flesh. 
"this feel good, sweetheart?" he checks in. coincidentally, his jeans grind against your panties at exactly the right spot and your hips jump. you release a pleasured yelp. 
"mhmm." 
"sounds like it." he latches onto your throat with a possessive excitement. you can feel him sucking and biting at the skin until you're positive there'll be marks tomorrow. you hope there are; purpled evidence of his touch. he digs his nails into your thighs. "you like it when older men touch you, baby?" 
he blows over your tender throat before attacking it again. you sigh contentedly at the way he mingles sensations for your pleasure. "yes." 
he grunts and nips at your collarbone, sliding the strap of your top down your shoulder so that he can effortlessly flutter his lips over the skin. you grip at him and toss your head back against the wall. his weight on yours is divine. it makes you weak, but that doesn't matter. he's practically holding you up at this point. 
when his hand pushes under the hem of your shirt and dances over your stomach, you arch your back for more. he's gentle yet firm, pulling you close like he wants to breathe your oxygen. he's tracing over your ribcage, all the way up to the valley of your breasts, before cupping one and moaning into your shoulder. 
he kisses you again with an aching hunger that can't be satiated. your tongues meet and Wes finds your hardened nipples beneath the thin fabric of your bralette. you sigh while he starts to circle one with his thumb.  
"you're perfect." he breathes. 
you want to bask in this moment, to enjoy the shock across your skin when he reaches his hand back down between your bodies to dip below the waistband of your sweatpants, but you're just so greedy. he could make you cum over and over and it would never be enough. 
"what do you want me to do to you?" Wes is hovering over your lower stomach, dangerously close to where you need him most. he's teasing. the warmth of his skin drives you mad. his breath brushes over the shell of your ear. 
"fuck me." it's the only response you can fathom. every other instinct in your body flies out the window and is replaced by a craving to sink your proverbial (and literal) teeth into him.
but he loves it, apparently, because he pushes you back against the wall with a nearly bruising force. "I can do that." 
with those words, he quickly grabs your other leg and lifts you into his arms, bringing you to the bed and laying you delicately on the mattress while you giggle. you stare up at him with an almost daydreamy lust. his cheeks are flushed. 
you only get a second of that heavenly sight, though, before he dips down and pushes your shirt up to see your tits and kiss up the chasm between your ribs. his stubble tickles your skin, which causes you to smile. 
by the time he's pulled your sweatpants off and tossed them to the side, you're whining for him to strip down as well. 
"what is it, pretty girl?" he murmurs against your tummy. when you try to squeeze your thighs, he pushes them apart. 
"I wanna see you." your fingertips touch at his sweater. he chuckles and pulls the garment over his head. it messes up his perfect hair even more and you love it, tangling your fingers in it. he bites his lip. 
"do you want me to taste you first?" he keeps stroking the inside of your thighs and staring down at the skimpy lace that you're positive that you've already soaked. you're making him crazy with the way you roll your hips against air, against nothing, seeking any kind of stimulation. 
"I can't wait." you shake your head. as nice as it would be, you're going to implode if he doesn't fill you up soon. he drags his fingers down your clothed slit and groans when he feels just how ready you are for him. 
"let's take these off then, okay, sweetheart?" he hooks his fingers in the panties and waits for you to nod before tugging them down your legs. you whimper at the cool air that hits your core, soaked and needy. Wes stares at your body on display for him. 
as he gets back up from the floor to kiss you again, you both work to remove the rest of his clothes. his skin is perfect under your hands. his chest is warm, solid, and when he climbs on top of you, his arms rest on either side of your head.
one hand comes down to grab his own cock and stroke it a few times before lowering himself to rub it against your throbbing clit. you whimper at the pressure; he's mindless when he feels how easily you cover him in your essence. 
"so fucking wet..." he groans while rutting against you. 
"Wes, please--" your breath hitches. "put it in." 
"begging?" he teases your entrance with the head and smirks. "good girl." 
"mhmm." you're smiling, but your mouth drops open when he pushes himself inside. 
it's a heavy feeling, him filling you up. he's thick and the stretching of your walls makes him groan and rest his head on your shoulder. he kisses the skin there while diving deeper into your body. 
you're shaking slightly from the mixture of pain and pleasure, his size forcing your body to work quickly to accommodate. your eyes are squeezed shut, but you run your hands over his back and shoulders to stay grounded. it feels like a dream. 
he starts to pull out, coated in your wetness while you whimper below him, and he grabs your face with one hand in a dominant, soft gesture. "okay?"
"yeah." 
he pushes back in. the air in your lungs is practically gone at this point, he's so deep inside. your eyes roll back and push your hips up to take him at a new angle. Wes finds his pace easily, rocking into your body at a manageable pace to let you get used to the sensation. 
every time his hips roll down and he buries himself in you, he presses on your clit and sends a new shock through your body. he leans on his elbows to get closer and feel every undulation of your body. you love how his thrusts force your legs apart, how he moans your name and causes the headboard to repeatedly hit the wall while maintaining eye contact. hazel irises that rake over your features with lust. 
"you feel so good." he speeds up a little when he hits a certain spot. you can feel him deep and hard, causing a small bump to rise in your stomach with each stroke. his voice is husky and dark. like a man starved. 
"fuck..." you drag your nails down his back. he groans at the red marks that you will no doubt leave for him. 
"clingy thing, huh?" he sucks at your throat affectionately. "I come over for one thing and you can't help yourself." 
hearing Wes speak through his own panting is like listening to a secret, and you never want it to stop. he's reveling in the sordid crush of his own wants, and the way he shoves into you shows you that he has no intention of slowing down for a while. 
"I'm impatient." you smirk. he pulls away to admire your expression. 
"so am I." he kisses your lips and starts to pound into you. the juxtaposition of his tenderness and the sharp snap of his hips to yours fills you with butterflies. you love how much he wants to ruin you. 
"Wes-- oh my god!" you whimper. he grabs your hips and yanks them closer to him so he can go as deep as possible, so he can hit your cervix. 
"that's right, sweetheart," he pants. you can tell that he's starting to lose control. "say my name. I want everyone to know what a good little slut you are for me." 
the commanding tone makes your body shake. "I- I'm cumming, Wes, please--"
"please what, baby?" he taunts. his index finger is tracing over your jaw. 
you don't know what it is that you're wanting, except more. as your form shudders and tightens, walls fluttering around his cock, you lose the capacity to speak. you grind your hips against him and cry out pathetically while he pushes you back down and slams ruthlessly into your pussy. 
"cum inside-- please, I need it--" you writhe. he groans at the request. 
"fuck, yes..." he sheathes himself. "take it."
you gasp as he repeatedly hits your weakest point and spills hot ropes of his cum inside you, still thrusting in and out and whimpering into your shoulder at the clenching sensation you give his cock. it's warm, strangely delightful, nearly sending you into another orgasm sheerly from the sight. 
he mutters unintelligibly as he empties himself in your pussy, but you catch a growled "so needy," between deep moans. you're clinging to him like you'll never have it again. you might not. 
he slows down, giving shallower thrusts while riding out his high and shoving his cum deeper inside. it turns lazy and messy, both of you panting, before he finally pulls out and rolls over next to you. 
you press the back of your hand to your forehead. it's sweaty from all the work he just put you through, but you feel amazing at the same time. your eyes keep flickering from the ceiling above to his rising and falling chest beside you. his nose twitches; he turns his head to look at your face. 
although you expect him to say something, he doesn't. instead, you just stare at each other. the air conditioner rattles gently in the background. you're not sure how long this lasts, this soaking in, but he's the first to break it. 
"hey." 
you find the corners of your lips turning up. "hi." 
"do you mind if I go get something to clean you up?" he asks softly, his fingertips finding your forearm with ease and drifting over it.
"sure. bathroom is the first door on the left." 
he gets up and you watch him gather his clothes, eyes glued to his perfect form. you can't believe you just had sex with your veterinarian. you don't regret it at all. 
he wanders out of the room and your eyes follow, only to see Klimt sitting patiently by the door. 
"what are you doing, perv?" you tease as he comes over and leaps up onto the bed. his kitten paws pad over the blankets and settle into the crook of your arm. you smile to yourself, recalling how sweet the vet was with him. "hey, Wes?" you call out. 
"yeah?" he comes back into the room with a warm washcloth and a small smile on his face. 
"would you wanna get coffee or something sometime?" you bite your lip. maybe he doesn't want to go on a date, but it's worth a shot.
"sure." he breaks into a grin that makes you giddy. thank god, because you really were hoping to see him again. 
you can't wait.  
taglist (lmk about adding/removal or add yourself to the list here!): @jareids @reidsconverse @xoxomgg @may-b-a-u-shewritestoo @la-vie-en-amour1 @g0lden-cth @treat-winchesterswith-kindness @kisseslikecoffee @spenxerslut @slutforthegubes @spookydrreid @depressedgothgrl @flipper-kisses @multixfandomwriter​ @willowrose99​ @gingeraleluke​ @chasemoonlight​ @spencerreid9​ 
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lunaastoir · 3 years
Note
Heyhey! May I request a childe x reader where the reader simps for him but he doesn’t know? Like what if she was online best friends with the tsaritsa but the reader doesn’t know the tsaritsa is the tsaritsa so she constantly simps for childe to her. Like “OMG HE’S SO CUTE.” AND STUFF LIKE THAT. So since she’s like besties with the tsaritsa the cry archon decides to set her up? Thank you :>>>>
AAAAA NONNIE holds your hands gently this is so cute i love it :,) 
genshin doesn’t have internet/technology but for the sake of this ask shhhhhh we’re gonna pretend they do
i hope i interpreted your ask correctly, if i didn’t just lmk <3 
crack, fluFF- LOTS OF IT???
the tsaritsa’s meddling
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all you wanted were groceries. that was all you wanted. you were standing in line behind the stall as you counted the items you needed to get. salt, milk, sugar, fowl, what else? you were lost in thought as you prayed that you had enough mora to buy everything - god knows how hard eating is as an adventurer. which was why, when you dropped your precious mora, your mind immediately went into panic mode. not now, not now, please don’t let the line move, you begged internally. in hindsight maybe if your mora hadn’t dropped, maybe if you weren’t at your wits end as a broke adventurer, maybe if you had just bought those damn ingredients sooner, you wouldn’t be in this position. as you breathed a sigh of relief after collecting your money and returned your gaze back to the stall, the only thing you could do was stare. where...did everyone go? instead of simply turning around and fleeing which should’ve been your first instinct considering how deserted the place was, you stood there trying to process the information. that was, until you saw a head of auburn hair peak up out of the stall. startled, you almost dropped your mora again. as the tuft of hair gave way to a very tall, handsome, blue eyed man, your brain short circuited. 
oh god how you wished you had run when you had the chance. you imagined you must have looked quite comical; mouth hanging slightly open, the list of ingredients fisted in your hands while mora was hanging precariously from your fingers. after what seemed like an eternity, the man seemed to finally notice you. 
“oh hey, you must not have noticed but this stall is sold out for the fatui” 
the sentence accompanied with his signature smile practically brought you to your knees. that smile? aimed at you? you would be surprised if you weren’t drooling. 
determined to not look like an absolute idiot you flashed him a smile of your own before saying, “sorry my bad, i must not have been paying attention” while doing what little you can to get some semblance of balance. tuck the mora here, try to balance your list more gracefully, move that piece of hair from your face. 
his eyes surveyed your undoubtedly disheveled appearance, before making a quick decision. 
“what items do you want, i’m sure i can spare a few ingredients for someone as pretty as you” 
one blink. another blink. did he just call you pretty? oh my- 
“oh no, it’s really ok, i can just get these later - it’s not that important anyway” you lied through your teeth. you needed those ingredients or you were most likely going to starve on the road but he didn’t need to know that. 
“don’t worry about it, as a harbinger i’m sure my subordinates can overlook a few missing ingredients” he smoothly said before gesturing you towards him. 
“i’m childe by the way, if you didn’t know” his eyes flicked up to meet yours.
“y/n” you offered while handing him the list. 
as he looked over what you needed, you tried your best to keep your breathing steady while your mind raced. if you didn’t know? of course you knew who he was, who didn’t? you would know better than most considering how often you thirsted about him to your mutual. if anything, you should’ve been the one saying that line to him. as an adventurer, you tend to not spend much time in liyue harbor, chasing down ruin guards and running errands was how you would rather keep yourself busy. however, ever since you saw childe in liyue, sharing a pot of tea with zhongli of all people, you started swinging by the harbor more often. fascination was what kept you seeking him out wherever you went. you had heard about the infamous eleventh harbinger, supposedly the youngest of them, all while being quite easy on the eyes. you had brushed off all the talk you had heard to just that - talk. international affairs wasn’t something you cared for and if anything, seeing the fatui made you wary. however, your curiosity grew after seeing him whenever you were in town. you chalked up your eyes subconsciously seeking out his figure to the fact that he was just an interesting guy. nothing wrong with wondering about a peculiar fellow, right?  you went through excuses upon excuses until finally, you had concluded that perhaps, maybe, you had a little crush on him. tiny, you assured yourself. just a tiny crush on a very attractive man. 
that crush then trickled over to your time spent talking to your mutual. it started off with little hints of “oh there’s this guy i saw and i thought he was kinda cute” to full blown hysteria of “PLS SEND HELP HE LOOKED SO GOOD TODAY.” @cryogoddess definitely had a lot of patience putting up with your thirsts over a man she didn’t even have the name of. you felt horrible sometimes since more than half of your conversation was about the newest detail you had noticed about childe - however your protests on boring her were met with reassurances about how no, you weren’t boring her, and yes, this is the most lighthearted talk she’s had her entire day so please keep going. you weren’t exactly sure what this woman did, or even how old she was. all you knew was she was someone who was constantly stressed (maybe a fellow adventurer?) and she was quite honest (which you happened to appreciate). despite how busy she was, she seemed to always make time for your texts which made you feel like you could trust her with anything.
“is that all? do you need anything else?” childe’s voice interrupted your mental tirade as you owlishly looked at him. 
“oh! yes that’s fine thank you” you smiled before taking the bag from him. grabbing the mora, you rushed to hand out the correct amount before he stopped you. 
“don’t worry about it, it’s on the house” he laughed slightly before waving your mora away. 
it’s on the- excuse me? did he just give you all this for free? is this what fatui hospitality is like?  
rushing to close your mouth, you quickly recovered while slurring out a quick “thank you so much” before shouldering your bag. your brain was currently running on fumes and you were very sure that if you stayed there any longer you might just combust. 
“well, i’ll be off then, thank you again” you shot him another smile before quickly scurrying away. 
without turning back to look at his expression, you moved as fast as humanly possible while trying not to seem like you were about to jump out of your skin. you didn’t know what was more embarrassing, your thumping heart or the dopey smile on your face. there was no way you were ever going to get over this, not with the way he looked at you the entire time. sighing, you put your bag down near a bench and pulled out your phone. at least you had an update for your friend that consisted of something other than just mindless thirsts. 
your mind was still reeling over from what happened as you texted her with shaking hands. the reply was immediate: “wow, you finally got up the courage to talk to him huh.” you rolled your eyes playfully at her blunt message. “bY ACCIDENT- IT HAPPENED BY ACCIDENT,,, guess he couldn’t keep himself away from this sexiness 😩” another blunt reply: “right.” smiling softly, you responded: “thanks for hyping me up bestie i really appreciate it <3 ok but maybe childe and i belong together??? is this a sign from the archons???” you stared waiting for her reply, however you were met with a read 8:45 pm. you’re lucky i love you bestie, leaving me on read during my crisis you whispered to yourself as you shouldered your bag once again to head home. at least you won’t be starving tomorrow on your commissions. 
as soon as you entered your house, your phone lit up. “wait. as in childe, eleventh of the fatui harbingers, also known as tartaglia, feared by many on the battle field, currently stationed in liyue, major pain in the ass, and is currently ignoring some of his paperwork???” - @cryogoddess. your eyebrows furrowed as you read her message, “yes that’s him but why do you sound so freaked out and how do you know sm abt him?” another notification: “i can’t believe you’ve been thirsting to me abt CHILDE.” you: “KDJKSFJ YOU DIDNT ANSWER MY QUESTION - also??? i thought i told you his name did i not??? 😀” her: “no??? wow this definitely is...interesting” you: “BESTIE ANSWER MY QUESTION DO YOU KNOW HIM???” her: “i’ve gotta go, work is calling.” 
you sighed in frustration as you tossed your phone on your bed. why was she so freaked out? you weren’t dumb, you knew there was something she wasn’t telling you but you trusted her enough to know she’ll let you know if it was important. you wondered as you pulled the covers over your head, if you’ll meet childe in your dreams and if you do, hopefully, in a less embarrassing scenario. 
the next morning, you awoke to a barrage of texts from none other than @cryogoddess. they were all along the lines of you should go to bubu pharmacy and stock up on medication this evening (i heard they’re having a sale). you responded back with a maybe, if you had time today after your commissions and if xiangling didn’t stop by with some food. however, your mutual made you promise you would visit in the evening, even if it’s just for a few minutes. you gave in because a) you never could say no and b) she made it sound like it was urgent so maybe she was obsessed with medicine? hmmm you would have to figure out where she lived so you could send some to her. 
you walked toward bubu pharmacy while tiredly sheathing your weapon, loosely taking in your surroundings. kids playing near the pond, teenagers chatting at the steps, adults keeping a watchful eye over their kids while laughing about the day’s events. your eyes studied the sign outside of bubu pharmacy. sale? what sale? there doesn’t seem to be anything regarding a sale?
“y/n?” a mildly familiar voice called your name. you whipped around looking for whoever uttered those words before your eyes fell on none other than one blue eyed harbinger. he was holding a few silk flowers in his hand as he stared at you with a sheepish smile. 
“hi” you stuttered out. your mind was blank, what was happening? 
“oh sorry, these are for you. i don’t mean to make you uncomfortable but i heard that you might be interested in me? you caught my eye at the stall yesterday, so i was wondering if you would want to grab lunch from the third-round knockout and then go watch the sunset at mt. tianheng? there’s this really cool trick i can do with my hydro vision where i can make the sunlight dance across the waypoint.” 
you stared at him as you wordlessly took the silk flowers from his hands. the golden light of the setting sun cast his face in a beautiful sheen, softly showing off the gentle blush on his cheeks and the brilliant blue of his eyes. his auburn hair seemed to grow alive at the touch of the fiery light and all you could do was stare. 
childe’s confidence seemed to wane with every passing second that you gazed at him, open mouthed, so he decided to save himself the embarrassment before hesitantly opening his own mouth. 
“yes, i would love to” you quickly said. you smiled gently up at him. 
“i would love to watch the sunset with you” 
you felt your cheeks burning up as you looked at him with soft eyes. when he returned your expression with a dazzling smile of your own, you could feel yourself relax. yes, your heart rate was off the chart right now, but you were content. the sunset, childe, and the silk flowers was something you never knew you needed, but were glad you got. you had enough time later to worry about the oncoming mortification of how he found out you liked him. 
a single notification appeared in your phone as the two of you walked laughing towards the mountain. 
“you’re welcome <3″
BONUS: 
“i know i’m too sexy for you to not fall in love with me” childe sighed dramatically as he leaned against you for support as the two of you went up the stairs. 
you promptly rolled your eyes and pushed him down the steps as you walked ahead with his protests falling on deaf ears. 
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Text
So @billy-baby mentioned That 70’s Show and Harringrove, and it reminded me of a *whole ass* set of hc’s about a 70’s/Stranger Things AU that has been sitting in my notes for literal years collecting dust, so here it is:
-Billy & Hyde would be besties, probably neighbours in the same shitty neighbourhood
-They headbang to hard rock and metal, jam to 60’s & 70’s rock while drinking TONS of beer and hotboxing the Camaro and El Camino, respectively
-Bands they’d have in common: AC/DC, Black Sabbath & Ozzy Osbourne, Scorpions, KISS, Judas Priest, Van Halen, and Led Zeppelin just to name a couple
-Hyde always gives Billy shit for like, never wearing a shirt, Billy gives Hyde shit for his ever-present sunglasses & sideburns
-They know each other’s parental problems, and take refuge in the Forman’s basement/the empty Harrington house (yes, we’re talkin’ a Hawkins, Indiana/Point Place, Wisconsin mashup here)
-Billy still has a major crush on Steve (Harrington that is, Steven Hyde will only be referred to as Hyde [and that possible name mix-up could cause some hilarity whenever anyone calls out “Steven”, and some embarrassing rumour drama for Billy, Steve, & Hyde (or omg a block party at the Formans where Kitty calls out “William! Steven! Michael!” And she turns around and has Billy, Will, Hyde, Steve, Mike, and Kelso starting at her expectantly)])
-Billy probably also thinks Eric and Kelso are kinda cute, but total dumbasses, they both definitely annoy him
-Fez would have a totally awkward and hilarious crush on Billy, and you just know Billy would flirt with him on purpose just to make him nervous (this might make Steve a lil jealous and annoy him to no end)
-Jackie would have the BIGGEST crush on Steve, after Kelso, and drag him around to go shopping and shit, he would tolerate it but Billy would absolutely hate her as a “bitchy rich entitled snot-nosed brat” cause she would be vocal about him being poor and he’d have to be calmed down by Hyde and Steve all the time
-Billy would give Hyde an unimaginable amount of shit for going out with Jackie, hooo boy!
-Steve would get a kick outta Kelso, but I think he and Eric would be pretty close friends, with Steve always pushing to hang around at the Forman’s cause Eric’s parents are always present, as opposed to his empty house (he adores Kitty Forman for SURE as the mother he never had)
-But the gang would surely hold parties at the Harrington’s....and only sometimes get away with it (both these groups are known for their KEGS! and the 70’s teens would lose their damn minds over Keg Kings Billy & Steve)
-Billy would put the charm on for Kitty sometimes just to see her blush, and Red would get annoyed and just a little threatening saying something like “Like to see how charming you are with my foot up your ass” and Billy being the abused kid that he is automatically takes it a little too seriously- probably flinches, goes a little pale, stutters out a “Yes sir, sorry sir”
-This would make Kitty and Red a bit concerned, pay a visit to the Hargrove household- I wouldn’t be surprised if they experience Neil putting Billy down or catch a glimpse of a smack or something and they would for sure take action with Red intimidating Neil cause you know he could
-Anyway! Girls. Robin and Donna would be THE BEST FRIENDS EVER, cause Donna had no other cool girl friend to hang out with and you just KNOW Robin might have an “itsy bitsy” (huge) crush on Donna, cause she’s Hot Donna, also they’re both super into female empowerment (and honestly, when Donna/Eric break up I could see her maybe falling for Robin too)
-Donna and Billy would be buds, she might like him for a hot minute but be cool with him being gay (Out of everyone in the 70’s gang, I think he’d most likely share this with her - cause she’d probably figure it out - even if it’s just to gush about their dumb, brave, pretty brunette boys to each other)
-Max would LOVE Donna, not just because of the hair (but also redhead solidarity is important), but because they’re both badasses and would totally vibe together- Max, Billy, and Donna would be an unexpectedly fun trio (and Billy would complain about having to drive the “GingeTwins” around all the time or something to that effect)
-And Jackie having to babysit Erica (because Donna does it sometimes, but she’s out for the night) would be the best thing ever good lord, Erica would put Jackie in her place, but they’d probably make up some schemes together too
-Also Erica would be absolutely appalled at having a similar name to Eric, she’d probably call him something along the lines of “Supreme Nerd” or “King of the Nerds” and have an endless supply of unimpressed looks for him during their debates of whose name is better
-Eric would totally join Mike, Will, Lucas & Dustin in their nerd exploits (STAR WARS!) And he and Dustin would get into loooong nerd debates
-I think Kelso would join Dustin & Lucas (and maybe the other boys too) in doing mischievous experiments including but not limited to: pyrotechnics, wrist rockets, radios and electronics... He’d begrudgingly listen to the scientific explanations of the boys (which would all fly right over his head) and they would have a moderate success rate, but also have to run away from the trouble they’d get in
-Lucas and Hyde would always be cool, but after finding out about Hyde’s biological dad they could become closer (Hyde’s dad and Lucas would have the best banter)
-Will and Eric would geek out over comics, and I think Eric would be super nice/supportive about seeing Will’s drawings
-Jonathan would be pretty quiet at first, but might talk to Fez since they’re both kinda the odd man out in each group (and he’d be genuinely NICE to Fez, *side eyes 70’s teens*)- then he’d be roped into doing random/stupid/mildly illegal stuff with the gang
-And despite Billy & Hyde being besties, I think Jonathan would bond with Hyde over shitty dads (plus I think Hyde would love Joyce, and she’d be another offer of refuge for him & Billy) and WEED WEED WEED
-Actually that might definitely be a sub-trio: Jonathan, Billy, & Hyde- they’d all have each other’s backs when it came to family drama (and later on when Hyde gets his record store, he’d offer them both jobs and Jonathan would be over the fuckin’ moon and work there)
-Billy would for sure work for Red in his muffler shop, and Red would take him under his wing, probably unwittingly become the father figure Billy never had.
-Nancy, hmmm, well she’s on the richer side of town so her and Jackie might be friends? but she’d for sure get annoyed with Jackie’s shallow bullshit
-OH and Robin would also hate Jackie I think, ‘cause of her entitlement and relentless obsession with boys (poor Jackie, I’m not setting her up for anything great here huh)
-So that’d be why Steve is friends with her, if only ‘cause he feels bad when she alienates herself from the rest of the teens, they (and I hate to say this) *could possibly* date for like 5 minutes, it’d be a REALLY hard time for Billy...and Kelso. And those two would probably come up with some hairbrained scheme to break them up (and succeed, but each get ripped a new one because of it)
-But at least the group of teen girls would be bigger if Donna, Robin, Jackie, and Nancy all hung out together sometimes (and if they tried to have a sleepover or something there would be toooo many idiot boys trying to creep on them, I think Billy would be the voice of reason and tell them they’re all being dickheads)
-And he’d give Fez a fuck ton of shit for being such a voyeuristic creep, probably make him stop hiding in people closets (wait what? Fez is like constantly coming out of closets in that show?! hello?? is that a thing??? Oh ho-ho they’d have a whole talk about that)
-Steve would get a kick outta Fez, probably think he was the funniest dude on the planet, as I’d say they’re the goofballs of the group (and yes, I am mostly excluding the King Steve narrative from this and using only cool mom Steve, cool? cool.)
-Steve might also have a lil crush on Donna, (‘cause a strong personality and blue eyes is like his kink, we all know this) but Eric would throw a fit about that and then they’d be all buddy-buddy discussing Donna & Billy (I think Eric being kind of a dumbass about his own gay kiss might put Steve off for a bit [and make Billy super hesitant and real pissed], but I also think Eric would be cool with hearing Steve out about his big bisexuality-discovery-adventure)
-Donna and Eric trying set Steve and Billy up by saying they’re all gonna hang out, and then like locking Billy/Steve in a room together or something and leaving😈
-When Billy/Steve’s relationship comes out, Hyde’s reaction is probably “That’s cool, man” Kelso would make some corny statement about how hot *he* is, Fez would probably fangirl over it with big ole heart eyes, Jackie would be like “weird, whatever”, Kitty would get flustered and then overly excited about it after a while, Red would be uncomfortable but okay with it saying something like “I better not catch you two dumbasses doing anything in my house”
-Ohmygod, Red as a father figure to Billy, Kitty as a mother figure to Steve, and they end up being so supportive of the boys ‘cause they have to put up with so much parental shit (say what you want, but the Formans have compassion) and they convert their house/backyard into a little private prom for the whole gang just so Billy/Steve can dance together and be themselves
-Billy, Steve, and Robin would die laughing every time they saw/talked to Leo. And I feel like Robin would talk her way into a job at the Photo Hut and then just end up being the manager and hires Jonathan herself to do the developments
-And you know how Hyde is always punching Kelso in the arm? Well he’d always get one, and Billy would punch the other arm as he’d classify Kelso a special kind of idiot, they’d always be teasing Kelso together, but Billy (and Steve I’m sure) would have some wicked BURNS that Kelso would love
-Steve and Kelso as friends? Sure, pretty boys gotta stick together~ especially when Steve gets called that by Billy, and then Kelso insists he’s a prettier boy, and Billy either rolls his eyes or flirts aggressively cause Kelso doesn’t understand WHY that’s Steve’s nickname, and it’s a whole can of worms you guys
-(And I didn’t forget about El, I’m just not quite sure where she fits in this AU... she probably doesn’t have powers and is the new kid who moves into town cause of a bad home life, she’d befriend Max in school and then I think Donna would take her under wing, then she’d be a hit with the teen gang cause she’d break her quietness with witty comments/one-liners, and since she’s very intuitive still, she gravitates towards Billy & Hyde and there would be some touching heart-to-hearts about shitty parental situations followed immediately after by inappropriate offers of beer to which she responds with a firm “gross”)
-And finally, *the Circle* would be so much bigger and funnier with the Stranger Teens in it
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whattheheehaw · 3 years
Note
Hi! I’m sorry you’re getting shitty anons about this and you’re probably sick of it so I apologise for asking this but I’m genuinely curious what made you start actively disliking zutara? Like, considering how much excellent and insightful content/meta you yourself used to make/write? I get that interests change over time and you’re totally valid!! the anons sending you hate over it are really dumb, but if you’d be ok with sharing, I’d be really interested in hearing why you’ve done almost a complete 180 on the ship? Was is just burnout/end of a hyper-obsession? Or was it some of us in the rest of the fandom that turned you off? Or was it even something about the ship/characters themselves that you changed your mind about? xx
In short, it was a combination of burnout, dissatisfaction with fandom, and disappointment in myself that caused my disinterest for Zvtara.
I got asks similar to this one a couple of times before, but I never gave a comprehensive answer, mainly because I didn't know how to articulate my reasons why I don't like it anymore. But now that I've been out of ZK fandom for a month and have had some time to reflect, I think I can give a much more thorough response. Beware, this is long and I heavily critique the Zvtara fandom, so if you're a ZK shipper, keep reading at your own risk.
My first minor annoyance with Zvtara is that the fandom has a tendency to idolize certain fics and creators. And while there’s certainly nothing inherently wrong about that, I feel like the Zvtara fandom does it to such an extent that it influences the type of content that content creators make in order to get recognition. And to illustrate my point, I’m going to talk about one of the most famous Zvtara fics of all time: Once Around The Sun by eleventy7.
Don’t get me wrong, I love OATS. I think it’s a great fanfic and I think the author devoted a lot of time and effort to make it such an excellent fic. The plot, the development of the characters and their relationships to one other, and the messages about family and love were all brilliantly written. I mean, there is a reason why it’s regarded as the “Zvtara Bible”. This one fanfic had such a profound impact upon the ZK fandom, and I think the biggest impact that came from it is the dramatic influx of post-war Zvtara AU fanfiction. 
Because so many people kept reading OATS and recommending it to others, I think there was an overall interest in ZK fics that take place in a post-war setting. And I think that all of the high praise towards OATS made more fic writers start to write post-war fanfics because of this demand for post-war AU.* I normally wouldn't complain about it because more content is more content, but in my opinion, 99% of ZK post-war fics are the same fic but in different fonts.
Like, there's at least 3 of these elements in every ZK post-war fanfic:
Ambassador Katara
An assassination attempt (usually on Zuko's life)
A healing scene between Zuko and Katara (usually Katara heals Zuko)
Aang and/or Mai is pushed to the side or vilified to some extent in order to make ZK happen
A private journey between Zuko and Katara to facilitate #6
S L O W B U R N (that's not really slowburn and more like "I love you and I very much want to be vocal about my feelings but #7 is in this fic" but the love story takes up like 30 chapters so I guess it's a slowburn?)
Zuko's advisers don't want him to get married to Katara because ✨racism✨
Ursa is found
Azula is in the fic because a) she's going to get a healing arc ft. Zuko and Katara and thereby helps them get together or b) she's the villain and thereby helps them get together
ZK wedding happens in the FN
After reading multiple post-war fics back to back, I could tell that the format was pretty much the same across the board, which isn't very interesting for me to read. My only other fic options in the Zvtara tag on AO3 are canon divergence fics which almost always take place during The Crossroads of Destiny or after The Southern Raiders. And to some extent, those stories are pretty much the same too. There's nothing really new or creative going on in the ZK fandom fic-wise, and because of that, my interest in ZK fandom started to dwindle.
My second issue with Zvtara is that it's a very old ship from a very old show. Because there's been 10+ years since the end of A:TLA, every nuanced point about shipping and the show itself have been talked to death.** There's just nothing new to say. It's the same arguments being rehashed over and over again in the tag because there's no other interpretation one can come up with.
For example, there's so many people who talk about why Zvtara as depicted in The Southern Raiders is not toxic and that's great and all, but I (and most likely many others) have read those same points about five times already. And for some reason, each time this happens, people act like someone just discovered the lost city of Atlantis when they bring up their new-but-not-new argument in defense of Zvtara. Honestly, I'm ashamed to say that I'm not exempt from being part of the group of people that reiterate old arguments. I've done it with one of my posts about The Southern Raiders and I've done it again with my Zutara/Omashu parallels post.
There's no new content to really dissect and analyze (especially considering Zuko and Katara are rarely in the same panel in any of the post-war comics), and because of this, people are just restating points that someone else made several years ago.*** And even if someone did have a different interpretation of an episode, their ideas would most likely be shut down because for the past several years, the same interpretation has been recycled through the fandom repeatedly and people are resistant to new perspectives.
This brings me to the third thing that I dislike about Zvtara: the insistence that there can only be one way to interpret The Southern Raiders. For the longest time, I've read take after take that said if Katara decided to kill Yon Rha, it would be ok because that's her grief to deal with and if she thinks that's the best way to mete out justice, then good for her. And again, I'm ashamed to say that I perpetuated that idea in a few of my own posts. I have always thought that "Katara killing Yon Rha is ok" is just a bad take in general, but I didn't want to vocalize that opinion when so many people—so many of the nice mutuals that I made—all shared that same opinion. Taking down a popular opinion of your own ship is completely different from taking down a popular opinion of a ship that you dislike. The Zvtara fandom is the first fandom that I was actually active in and I wanted to fit in so badly with everyone else that I just parroted whatever other people said, even if I didn't agree with those sentiments.
This leads me to my final reason why I don't want to be a part of ZK fandom anymore. I think I established myself as a "meta" person pretty early on and because of that, I constantly felt pressured to come up with new takes on the ship. And when people started flooding my ask box with stuff like "Can you write a meta about your thoughts on the idea that 'Zuko only took Katara on that field trip in TSR because he wanted her to forgive him'?" and "What are your thoughts about antis saying Zuko and Katara are toxic because of TSR?", I realized that I don't need to come up with new takes. People just want me to paraphrase something that 10 other people said about the same exact topic, because if I said what I actually thought about the subject (i.e. there is some truth in what antis say about TSR and it's not as much of a "Zvtara episode" that most people make it out to be), I'd probably get ZK shippers in the replies telling me that I'm wrong because x, y, and z or "you shouldn't tag this as Zvtara".
And that was pretty much how my love for ZK turned into disinterest. I was and still am disappointed that I didn't stick to my personal opinions. For as much as I talk about herd mentality on Twitter, I certainly don't practice what I preach. In all honesty, the only reason why I held on so long to ZK fandom was because I had so many nice mutuals there and we all shared this collective distaste for antis. I think I started to become more anti-Zvkka and anti-Kataang than pro-Zvtara, which isn't what I wanted to do when I made this Tumblr blog.
The thing that made me joke about becoming anti-Zvtara was the fact that some ZK shippers just like to send shitty anons to people whom they've reblogged countless different metas from. Sending shitty anons to people in the first place is wrong, but sending them to people who tagged their posts correctly and did nothing wrong is just disgusting.
*I'm not a fic writer and can't speak for fic writers, but it definitely feels like a lot of ZK fic authors are pushing themselves to write the next OATS, and by doing so, they are proliferating the tag with post-war fics that have very similar aspects to OATS.
**I think that as more people point out the same nuanced points about Zvtara, it diminishes the actual significance of those points. Like, it's hard to explain but the more people talk about the subtleties of the ship, the more those parts become glaringly obvious and I become numb to their actual impact on the characters and the show.
***At this point, if someone wanted to make a new argument about Zvtara, I think they would have to look very closely at every little detail in every single one of their scenes together to find a crumb of new meta material. And speaking from experience, it's not very fun trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Whenever I post a "meta" like that, I feel like I'm reaching to make a point that doesn't exist.
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stealingpotatoes · 4 years
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I am OBSESSED with your Desmond lives AU!! I want Shaun and Rebecca to be able to give Desmond all the hugs, I want Desmond to be able to choose to be an Assassin, to be able to help save the world again. Also, I am very curious about how you would resurrect Desmond, because I’ve had similar thoughts on such an AU, but I currently stick it near the end of Valhalla with the stuff that happens there. If you ever feel like expanding on it, I'd be super excited to see more!!!
first of all, AH THANK YOU!!! Yes those are ALL points that are very important to the Des Lives AU! Second of all, thank you so much for this ask in general!!! I was hoping someone would send an ask like this so I’d get an excuse to talk abt the AU more lmao XD!! I made this AU back in March last year, so there’s no Valhalla stuff in it, and it’s set right after/ during the Odyssey DLCs. 
The long story short for my Desmond Rez (rezmond, if you will) is “shroud of eden, abstergo, and some Isu bullshit”. The long story long, however, is uh- you know what? I’m going to use this opportunity to explain the vague story I worked out last year -- but dw, I WILL get to the full ressurection explanation I thought through. However... I’m gonna have to tell the story in smaller parts because I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to write the whole thing out right now. So rez comes later and not in this post. 
also uh-- before we start: I’m going to apologise for like… everything about the way I wrote this. It’s sort-of half fic, half that-way-your-friends-colloquially-tell-stories-that-you-can’t-keep-up-with. Mainly the latter. If you can make sense of this babbling, well done.
 Anyways, without further ado, welcome to:
POTES TRIES TO EXPLAIN HER DESMOND (SORTA) LIVES AU: PART ONE
On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles dies. 
It’s not for nothing -- his sacrifice saves the entire world from a solar flare -- but he is dead. big ripz. The Assassins, his family, do not manage to recover his body. Abstergo gets it first. The Assassins hold a funeral as best they can. They mourn (all in their own ways), they keep fighting (for his memory), and they try to move on (they can’t). 
On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles died -- so when he shows up in a city in October 2018, almost 6 years later, it’s a bit of a shock for everyone. What’s even more of a shock is the fact he’s glowing like an Isu and has some abilities he DEFINITELY didn’t have when he died.
So Desmond wakes up in the middle of some city in he doesn’t know where (yeah ok i just never really worked out where the secret lab would be), with 1. no idea of how he got there and 2. no idea why his arms are glowing like that. He doesn’t get much time to think about it because then there’re a load of Abstergo goons with guns surrounding him. Des may have no idea what’s happening, but he knows one thing: when u see an Abstergo, it’s on sight. So he’s fighting them -- which is admittedly not fun or easy when you’re in the middle of a road and only have your fists as weapons. It’s not going well and then someone definitely manages to shoot Desmond which is very bad -- but then Des feels some very weird (but not unfamiliar) feeling and when he looks up from the bullet wound, every one of the Abstergos are on the floor???? He doesn’t think to check if they’re dead, just legs it out of there lmao. 
//
Elsewhere, in an Assassin safehouse in an undisclosed location (can you tell I just didn’t think about the geography of anything), Mr Shaun Hastings is chilling on a balcony after a mission well done. Good for him. Then Rebecca Crane (queen ilu) yells “Shaun?” from inside. 
“Rebecca?” 
“Come inside. Now.”
Shaun immediately does so because he assumes it’s important or they’re under threat. “What happened? Have we been compromised?”
Rebecca doesn’t answer. 
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Shaun says, mostly joking and with a little smirk -- though Becs looks spooked. 
“Desmond’s alive.”
Shaun’s not smirking anymore. “What?”
“Desmond’s... he’s alive.”
“What are you talking about? Are you high?” he’s totally about to look at her eyes to see if they’re all dilated and druggy. 
“No Shaun, I mean it!” Becs harshly shoves her tablet into his hands. 
Shaun doesn’t really know what he’s expecting to see when he looks down at the screen. What he’s not really expecting to see is Desmond Miles, who’s been dead for six years, fighting a load of Abstergo people -- while lined in Isu markings (also he’s not wearing a shirt forgot got to mention). ??? But wtf??!?! Desmond’s dead. That’s...
“It’s security camera footage from [the city]... About two hours ago.” Rebecca then swipes through more footage with shaky hands and explains that Des very violently burst out of an Abstergo facility in the city with glowing eyes and light leaking out of him (almost like an Apple of Eden). Then the glowing eyes and shining lights shuts off abruptly and Des is standing in the middle of the road looking very confused at his precursor-ass arms and chest. But Shaun is barely listening to what she’s saying and barely even looking at the screen. 
“Where did you get this?” Shaun asks with a hollow voice, not looking up. 
“The Initiates.” (bc who else)
Shaun looks at it again, then at Rebecca, and he’s mildly aware of the fact he’s slightly tearing up; “That’s fake. That can’t be him. He’s dead, Becs. We both saw the…” They both saw the autopsy footage the ac4 researcher got from Abstergo -- or at least, tried to watch it; they shut it off as soon as Shaun ran to the bathroom to throw up and Rebecca quickly joined him. They spent the rest of that night crying and drinking way too much. 
“He died.” Shaun concludes firmly. 
And so Becs is all like “yeah but what if he didn’t?? We need to find him. We need to investigate this.” There’s a determination in her eyes and Shaun knows he’s not going to be able to convince her to drop this -- not that he would. Desmond might be alive, and there is no way they’re going to leave him again. 
They’re both standing there in pure shock and confusion, not saying anything. 
Rebecca’s comm device lights up and starts buzzing, snapping them out of their general ????-ness. Becs goes to her desk to grab it, glances at the caller id and then shows it to Shaun. It’s William Miles. 
The two of them share a Look. They know what he’s calling about -- what else would it be? There’s a stilted moment of neither of them doing anything before Rebecca finally accepts the call. “William?” 
“How quickly can you and Shaun get to [city]?” William sounds shaken -- probably the same way Rebecca and Shaun are -- which is a very weird way to hear the Mentor of the Brotherhood sound. He’s seen the footage, hasn’t he? 
“In a few hours,” Rebecca replies. 
“Good. You need to get there as soon as possible.” 
Everyone’s silent for a few moments. 
“Is this about Desmond?” Rebecca asks. Dumb question. 
There’s a pause. “You’ll be briefed on the ground.” And then he hangs up before Shaun or Rebecca can yell at him.
This is all moving very fast. Shaun and Rebecca share another look. Guess they’re going to [city].  ???
// 
Fast forward several hours and Rebecca and Shaun are in The City [might just have to make the city london bc it’s the one city i actually know well -- however for plot reasons we’ll see later, a swiss city might be better… moving on!]. They get to an assassin base and meet up with Galina Voronina and 2 local assassins. Idk if you’ve read the comics, but to sum things up quickly, Galina and her team were investigating and then ended Project Phoenix -- so Galina now really wants to find out if the whole Desmond thing has anything to do with that. 
Galina also wants to help Shaun and Rebecca get their friend back. They’re her friends, but equally she just lost one of her teammates to Abstergo (while ending Phoenix like 2 months ago, in the comics) and is uh- idk how to say it but she wants to help Shaun & Becs who have a chance to get their lost teammate back.
What follows is cool gang-gang trying to track down any trace of Desmond. You’d think it wouldn’t be hard to find a person who literally glows, but Desmond’s had centuries of Assassin training and knows how to hide lol.. which is making the Assassins’ job harder lol. 
What’s making it even harder is the Assassins know they have to be quick because they know Abstergo is gonna be looking for Desmond too -- and they have way more resources and stuff. That being said, they’re also currently dealing with the fact one of their building and a decent amount of their guards just got absolutely mullered by weird-glowing-desmond. 
The third issue with their entire thing is that they have no idea what they’re going to find when they find Desmond -- or if he even is Desmond. Is he going to be the man they knew but with weird powers? an Abstergo isu-clone? evil? they don’t know, and so they know they’ve got to be wary with him. 
The Assassin gang spend some time (a couple of days at the very most) trying to track Desmond down. Rebecca is using all the tech she can get her hacker mitts on to find a trace of him and equally throw Abstergo off Des’ trail. 
Soon enough, they get a solid lead -- don’t ask for the specifics, i don’t know them. But they get a lead, and it winds them up in an abandoned apartment building or also abandoned building site or something (a building in the city where there aren’t any people, basically). 
Galina scans the place with Eagle Vision and she’s like “There is something very strange about this place.” (someone?) But she doesn’t see a person-shape anywhere. The 5 of them are hopeful but somewhat on edge. 
They go about searching for any sign of Desmond. Galina’s pretty sure her Eagle Vision is just… Messing Up A Lot lol. Like something’s trying to heck with it. So she’s not quite sure it’s working correctly when a load of red figures appear somewhere below them. 
She becomes a lot more sure when the red figures come into sight and START SHOOTING AT THEM! IT’S ABSTERGO!! CRAP! they found them!!
The assassins get down and a really cool fight scene w them vs the Abstergos in the building/ building site starts playing out. Woo Shaun and Rebecca electro-hidden-blade moments!! The fight splits the squad up and Shaun and Rebecca are away from Galina & the others -- but they dispatch the Abstergo guards near them.
They’re about to radio in that they’re all okay/ check if Galina & co are also good when they hear a slightly-too-loud footstep. They whip around to see an Abstergo guard aiming right at them, too far for either of them to get him before he shoots them. crap crap crap.
They would have been shot -- if someone hadn’t come up behind the Abstergo guard and snapped his neck (ouch). 
The Abstergo drops to the ground, revealing the person who saved them and… Shaun and Rebecca stare in shock. 
They’re both looking at Desmond Miles. 
Desmond Miles, who is very much alive (and wearing a hoodie that is 100% stolen). And… with a load of glowing yellow lines on his face. But it’s Desmond -- it’s Desmond for sure. Holy shit.  
Desmond doesn’t seem so shocked, only relieved to see them. Then his expression turns into serious confusion; 
“What the fuck is happening?”
///
ok sorry leaving it there for now! hope you enjoyed what is here will continue soon
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artzychic27 · 4 years
Text
Reverstrator
‘This is perfect, astoundingly perfect.’, Lila thought to herself, hunched over her computer. For some time, she’s noticed her control over the class was wavering, and it was all because of those two idiots from the stupid art club- Nathaniel Kurtzberg and Marc Anciel. They had some nerve, getting into her minions friends heads and pointing out flaws in her lies. It wasn’t her fault people wanted to hear so many of her stories; she just had trouble keeping up with them sometimes! Lila gave them a chance like she gave Marinette. Either believe her lies and keep their friends, or become social pariahs... They always choose the second option.
So, she went around claiming that Nathaniel stole some of her drawings, Marc plagiarized some of her essays, and she even threw in a couple of lies about Marinette, saying she convinced the two boys to go against her. But what Lila didn’t account for was Alix. She never really believed her lies either. Apparently, the famous skateboarder Lila told her about was dead so that got the pink-haired girl suspicious. Whenever Lila tried to make Marc, Nathaniel, or Marinette look like the bad guys, Alix would step in and act like their self-righteous white knight. Well, she won’t look like the hero tomorrow, her and Adrien. When those idiots in her class turn against those two, Lila will be free to ruin the comic book duo’s reputation as she pleased, she’ll have Adrien all to herself, and Marinette gets to suffer. Win-win-win! ‘Damn it!’, Lila mentally cursed as she glared at her computer screen, ‘Undo... Undo...’
How is photoshop so easy for some people?! And how can they edit these crappy romantic pictures without gagging? Especially this photo she snapped of Marc and Nathaniel a couple of weeks ago while they were on one of their dates. ‘Ugh.’ Lila nearly threw up when she took the photo, and this was taking up way too much of her time. Fixing the lighting, finding the right photos of Adrien and Alix, it was so frustrating! But it’ll all be worth it tomorrow when she finally puts those losers in their place
And hopefully, Marc or Nathaniel will get akumatized. Sure, this would be a stupid reason, but people have gotten Akumatized for less. Hawkmoth was a great guy and the Italian admired his work, but Akumatizing a baby, and a man obsessed with pigeons like thirty times? If she had the Butterfly miraculous, she would at least give the Akuma a gun. Then Ladybug would finally perish and be out of her hideous sausage hair.
‘Focus! You can fantasize about her death later.’
“Geez, Nath. I haven’t seen you look this happy in a long time,” Alix said as she poked her redhead friend who had a dreamy look on his face with her pencil “So, what’d you and Marc do last night?” she asked with a smirk, making Nathaniel snap out of his daze and blush madly, “Alix!” He looked around the cafeteria to make sure no one heard that
She snickered, “I’m kidding! Come on, tell me what happened. Your date had to have been amazing if you’re all happy and stuff.”
This is one of the things Nathaniel loved about Alix; she was a great listener. Growing up, no one really paid attention to him. Ever since his dad left, his mom has been busy running the diner, he always blended in with the background so no one at school noticed him either. It sucked until he met his first real friends
His mom took him to the Louvre when she noticed his interest in art and while there, he met a brunette girl running all around the museum while a ten-year-old boy tried to catch her. She was loud, energetic, and immediately took a liking to the young boy. Over time, she was able to pull him out of his comfort zone and he listened to whatever he had to say.
Then he met three other girls when he was ten- One with black hair, one blond, and one bluenette. The four of them met at a fine and performing arts fair and were probably some of the youngest people there to enter each of their work in the fair contests. His painting of the Seine took third, which wasn’t too bad. First and second were high school students. The three girls immediately went to congratulate him and asked all sorts of questions (The black-haired girl didn’t talk as much, though) For once in his life, Nathaniel had friends. Friends who noticed him and listened.
“Well, it wasn’t much,” he answered with a smile, “We just got ice cream from Andre’s, went to this new museum that just opened up, went to the park.”
“Didn’t it rain a little yesterday?”, she asked
“Yeah,” he blushes, “I may have used my blazer to cover us up-”, off Alix’s snicker, he playfully slapped her arm, “Alix, come on!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”, she continued laughing while Nathaniel gave her an annoyed look, “Go on, continue. But if you say anything else like that, don’t expect me to keep a straight face.”
Nathaniel rolled his eyes, “So I used my blazer as an umbrella,” he rephrased, “and well, we were just so close, and... God, he looked cute in the rain. So, I just leaned in and kissed him.”
Alix sighed dramatically, “Ah, to be gay and in love.”
“Uh, I’m bi,” he corrected with his arms folded
“Yes, and I’m aroace, Rose and Jules are lesbians and Mari’s pan as hell. These are things we know.” she said as she leaned back into her chair and propping her feet up on the lunch table, relaxed before perking up and asking, “Did’ja give him the necklace?!”
Without saying a word, Nathaniel pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of him and Marc kissing in the rain. Alix zooms in on the silver half-heart necklaces around their necks. She remembered how Nathaniel begged her to help him look for a gift he could give to Marc on their date. She helped him in exchange for a drawing of her performing some skating tricks. It took hours to find a gift; this is one of the reasons why Alix doesn’t date. Finally, they settled for a simple, but sweet silver heart necklace and Alix had never been so relieved to see jewelry before.
Alix couldn’t help but let out an out-of-character squeal at the sight of the picture. Her excitement turned to bitterness when she looked at something else that made her narrow her eyes “Where’s she going?”
Nathaniel follows her gaze and glared at the Italian girl leaving the cafeteria, “Don’t know. Maybe she’s just looking for more people to buy her lunch.”
“Or carry all of her stuff.”
“Or carry her.”
“Or build her a palanquin.”
“How about a monument made out of solid gold?”
At that last one, the two best friends laughed
“Lying skeeze,” she muttered, “I’m glad the others are sorta taking what she says with a grain of salt, but she’s still got them wrapped around her talons. Especially Bustier and Damocles.”
Nathaniel rolled his eyes at the mention of his teacher and principal, “Ugh, don’t get me started on those two. I almost got detention because Lie-la claimed that I stole her ‘masterpiece’. Thanks again for backing me up.”
Alix responded with a nod, “Yeah, but it’s bull that she didn’t even get in trouble. Claimed it was a problem with her long-term memory or some shit, and Bustier ate it up!”, she exclaimed, “God, we’re surrounded by idiots. How long do you think she’s gonna last?”
Nathaniel pondered before answering, “I give her one more week. She’s exposed by an Akuma who’s after her for lying about them or one of their friends.”
Alix nodded, “Three days. Truth akuma who just blasts people at random and she gets hit, so she’s forced to tell the truth. Put that in your comic”
Nathaniel reaches into his messenger bag and pulls out his sketchbook, “Maybe something like... Lady or Lord Justice?” He pulls out a pencil and begins sketching on a blank sheet
“Truth fairy?”
“Lie-on Tamer?”
Alix shook her head, “Now that just sounds like a bad pun.”
“Akumas have dumb names,” Nathaniel said with an eye roll, “If anything, this is better than what Hawkmoth comes up with.”, he gets back to work on the sketch
“... Can’t argue with you there, man.”
“Come o-o-o-on, Marc! Tell us everything!”, Aurore urged the shy writer as the group of four made their way to Mme. Mendelieve’s class
“Who made the first move?”, Julian asked, smirking
Marc blushed, “Guys, keep your voices down.”
Mireille squealed, “Sorry, but you can’t just go on a date and not expect people to be all excited and ask what happened! So tell us!”
Marc loved these three to death and loved them like they were his sisters and brother, but sometimes they got just a little too much for him. When he first announced that he and Nathaniel were dating, the three of them wouldn’t leave him alone for weeks and constantly asked questions whenever they went out together
“Well, went out for ice cream, went to a museum we both like, and spent the rest of the day at the park before it rained.” He smiled fondly at the memory, “Nath actually used his blazer to cover us up.”
“Aww!”, Aurore and Julian cooed while Mireille squealed, “So romantic! Please tell me you kissed in the rain!”
When Marc tried to hide the blush forming on his cheeks, that was a good enough answer for his grinning friends
Julian clasped his hands together and crouched a little lower, “Please, please tell me you have photos!”
Marc laughed at his friend and pulled out his phone, “I do.” He shows them the screen and Aurore immediately grabs the phone out of his hand. Mireille and Julien huddle around her, “Oh my God! It’s like a scene from a movie!”, Mireille exclaimed before squinting her eyes, “Wait... Are you wearing the necklace now?!”
“Necklace?”
“He gave you what?”
Marc knows there’s no hiding it from the people who were very invested in his love life now. He slips his hand under the collar of his shirt and pulls out the little half-heart charm connected to a simple white cord. Marc was once again bombarded by questions
“Guys, can we do this after class? We’re gonna be late.”
Aurore let out an exaggerated groan but complied, “You better be prepared for any question we throw at you, Rainbow.” She said his nickname teasingly as the four of them made their way to class, but stopped to look and see Lila walking out of the locker room
“How long is she gonna be here?”, Julien questioned, his tone laced with venom, “I can’t take another minute of, ‘Oh, but all of her stories are real,’ ‘Don’t be so mean,’ ‘Lila’s hurt, don’t put any more pressure on her,’ ugh! Marc, I’ll say it again, your boyfriend and cousin’s class is full of idiots.”
“Well, their hearts are in the right place, they’re just being taken advantage of.”
“It’s been like three months since she, ‘Returned from Achu,’” Aurore said with finger quotes, “How has that lying fox not been exposed yet? Everything she says is full of holes!”
“It’s because whenever someone tries to point out her lies, she’ll play the victim and get sympathy,” Mireille said, disgusted, “It’s honestly just sickening listening to her fake crying.”
“Here, here,” Julian said in agreement, “I cannot wait for a truth Akuma to appear and just make her reveal everything so her classmates and that teacher will finally stop kissing the ground she walks on.”
“That would make for a pretty good Akuma,” Marc commended
“Hell yeah, it would.”
‘One for the soulless redhead. And one for that... “boy.”‘, the Italian sneered as she slipped an envelope into the vent of Marc’s locker, ‘Let’s see if they’re still together after this. Once Alix is out of the picture and Adrien only has me to talk to, I’ll ruin those losers’ lives. They should know damn well than to cross Lila Diabla Rossi.’
--
Nathaniel felt like someone was burning holes in the back of his head... Or rather the side. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, he moved his bangs to the side, acting as if he was just scratching the side of his face, and saw Lila glaring at him before quickly looking to the front. ‘God, what’s her problem?”, he thought to himself. ‘Probably gonna spout out more bullshit about how I stole her work. Heh. Good luck you vursht-kherd ligner.’
The bell rang, ‘Finally. I get to see my Rainbow.’, Nathaniel thought as he gathered his books in his bag. He was about to grab his sketchbook, only for it to be snatched by Lila. ‘Great, now I have to disinfect it.’
“Oh, Nathaniel! I’m so sorry about what happened!”, she “apologized” in that over-the-top sweet voice. “I just have so many problems with my memory because while I was helping disabled children in America, I fell off of a ladder while trying to get their frisbee off the roof of one of their homes, and I hit my head.”
‘Maybe that isn’t a lie, because that would explain so much.’, “Okay, so can I have my sketchbook back?”, he asked in a bored tone
“And I draw Ladybug all the time because we are besties after all!”, she exclaimed
“Great, so my sketchbook?”, he holds out his hand
“And your little drawings look so much like mine, and I got concerned. I’m sure you understand, right?”
“Can I have my sketchbook back?”, He repeated, now very annoyed, and even more when Lila sent him a smirk she didn’t think he noticed. ‘This bitch is trying to make me lose my temper or something?’ Then she just started talking again
“I know how awful it is for an artist’s work to be stolen! I actually witnessed art-theft first-hand, so you get why I accused you of stealing what I thought was mine. I just didn’t want to believe that you would steal a fellow artist’s work.”
‘God, strike me now.’
“But if you stole it out of jealousy, I would completely understand.”
“... Excuse me?”
‘Got him.’ “Well, let’s face it. Your art style is a little overused and no offense, but, not very original. So, if you were jealous of my drawing style, then there are no hard feelings. You’re still an amazing artist. While I’ve studied and perfected my work over the years, you-”
“Oh meyn got! Zey shtil!”
The students who were packing away their materials and getting ready to head out turned their heads towards the redhead who was shouting furiously in Yiddish
“Ir zent nisht a farshiltn kinstler! An anoying, lignerish hur iz vos ir zent!”
Alix, who actually understood a little of what Nathaniel was saying, tried not to snicker
“Aun gebn mir meyn sketshbook, ir vursht-kherd tokhes!” At that last sentence, Nathaniel snatched the sketchbook out of her hands, then he looked around and saw the shocked or confused looks on his classmates' and teacher’s faces. He ducked his head down, trying to look as small as possible right now
Breaking the silence was Alya, “What did you say?”
“It... It was...” Nathaniel stammered and his face turned as red as his hair.
Max turned to the little robot hovering beside him, “Markov, can you translate what Nathaniel just said?”
“Certainly, Max,” a little pixelated hourglass appeared the screen on the little robot’s face before disappearing with a little ‘PING!’, “Oh my.”
“Oh, what did he say?”, Lila asked as innocently as possible.
“I’m not comfortable repeating the last two, but he did tell you to shut up, and that you have sausage hair.”
“Oh, crap,” Nathaniel muttered
Lila started rubbing her eyes to make it look like she’s crying right now. “Nathaniel, how could you be so rude?! I was only trying to help you!”, Alya and Mylene went over to console her, not noticing the smirk on her face. The classmates that were on Lila’s side sent the redhead glares and disappointed looks
Mme. Bustier frowned, “Nathaniel, go to the principal’s office, now!”, before Nathaniel could respond, Marinette spoke, “You can’t do that. It’s the end of the day, so you can’t tell Nathaniel what to do,” she sent her enabler of a teacher a sneer
“W-well, I-”
“Check the rule book!”, Alix snapped, “Students are out of teachers’ jurisdiction as soon as school hours are over. So, you can’t send him to detention.”
“But he called me horrible things!”, Lila wailed
“Well, it’s not his fault,” Juleka whispered, but everyone heard and turned their heads toward her, “... He has bipolar disorder, and sometimes he just... Yeah.” Rose takes over for her, “And you did take his sketchbook, Lila. I saw you snatch it off the table before he could grab it.”
“W... Well, I just wanted to see it!” She claimed
“Doesn’t give you the right to snatch it,” Nathaniel murmured. Marinette walked over and took his hand, “Let’s go.” The five art club students made their way to the door, but Mme. Bustier called out, “Hold on! Nathaniel still needs to be punished for using such language in class!”
Alix rolled her eyes, “Did anyone in the class, besides Markov, understand what he said?”, all she got in response were head shakes and some muttering, “Did anyone hear any curse words?”, once again, head shakes. She turned to Mme. Bustier and shrugged, “As long as he doesn’t say it in French, I don’t really think you can punish him. He said it in a language none of us knew, so you can’t really punish him for cursing in class.”
Bustier’s face turned red in embarrassment. A student just corrected her in front of her own class. Before she could say more, the five of them were gone.
“Nath, that mouth!”, Alix cackled, “That was priceless!”
Marinette smiled, “I wish I knew more Chinese so I can cuss Lila out in class. The only curse word I know is húndàn.”
Nathaniel blushed, “Thanks for helping me out back there, you guys.”
“Of course, Nath!” Rose hugged him, “Lila stole your sketchbook, you had every right to be upset.” Juleka nodded in agreement
Nathaniel smiled before he realized something, “I left my colored pencils in my locker.” He reluctantly pulled away from Rose’s legendary hug and ran to the locker room, “I’ll catch up with you guys later!”
Once Nathaniel walked into the locker room, he made his way down the row of lockers until he got this. Right between Alix and Nino’s lockers. He put in the combination on the purple lock he brought from home since the school has terrible security. After Marinette’s near expulsion, some of the students bought locks for their easy-to-open lockers so no one could frame them for theft. Damocles tried to stop them from doing this but he was severely outnumbered, and the fact that some of the students had lawyers for parents who could sue the school for not protecting their children’s items made him concede
Once his locker door was open, an envelope fell out as he went to reach for his pencil face. Furrowing his brow, Nathaniel picked up the mysterious envelope he didn’t remember being in his locker. ‘Maybe it’s my report card?... But it’s the middle of the quarter.’, he thought, ‘And why would they put it in my locker?’ With a shrug, Nathaniel opened the envelope and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. He unfolded the paper, and his eyes widened in shock. His jaw hung open, his hands were shaking, and his breathing became unsteady
In his hands was a photo of Marc and Adrien, but not just any photo. It looked like someone took a photo from a distance, but you could make out every detail. The two of them were sitting on a bench in the park, hand in hand, bodies pressed together, and kissing. Nathaniel wanted to cry, to punch Adrien, to throw up. He looked over the picture even though his brain told him not to, but he had to look for something. Watermarks, any signs of smeared paint, anything!... Nothing.
“N-no... No... He wouldn’t... H-he...” He crumples the paper and throws it to the floor, then he makes his way over to the door. When he opens the door, he froze at the sight. Adrien and Marc were walking the stairs, talking. Adrien must’ve said something funny because Marc started laughing. “... Oh my God...” A tear streamed down his heartbroken face which contorted into a scowl. Not able to take another second of this, Nathaniel charged out of the lockers room and ran to the doors, bumping into people along the way, but he didn’t care. He just needed to leave.
__
Marc laughed, “Oh my God! He really cursed Lila out in Yiddish?”
“Yeah, it was pretty funny,” Adrien chuckled, “If I knew we could do that, I would’ve cursed Lila out weeks ago. But yeah, if he seems a little off in art club, it’s because of Lila.”
“Thanks again, Adrien,” Marc smiled
“No problem. I’ll see you around Marc.”, and he left
Marc still couldn’t believe his sweet boyfriend cursed someone out. But, it was Lila, so he could understand that. He made his way into the locker room and walked over to his locker. He pulled a silver key out of his pocket and uses it on the lock he bought for his locker. Marc’s always been a little protective of his stuff, but after what happened with Marinette and... Her... He and most of the students took action and bought locks for their lockers.
As he opened his locker, he noticed a crumpled ball of paper on the floor. Before Marc could go to pick it up, out of peripheral vision, he saw an envelope fall out of his locker and land on the floor. Marc picked up the envelope he didn’t remember being in his locker before and looked over it to see if anyone write anything like their name. With a shrug, Marc opened the envelope and found a folded piece of paper. With some hesitation, thinking it might be something bad like a photo of something gory or inappropriate, he pulled it out and slowly unfolded it... It was worse.
His widened green eyes scanned over the photo of Nathaniel and Alix, holding hands as they kissed on a bench in the park. He dropped the photo and sat on one of the benches, looking pale and shaking. Then he brought his gloved hands to his face and started crying. “What did I do wrong?”, he asked himself
__
“Anger, despair. Both caused by an untrustworthy partner, and those who turned out to be false friends. So hard to pick.” Hawkmoth beckoned a butterfly that landed in the palm of his hand. Once covered by his other hand, the butterfly was consumed by dark magic and turned black. Hawkmoth released the Akuma, and it fluttered away, “Fly away my little Akuma, go towards the one who feels the most pain!”
__
The akuma fluttered over to the school and found its target. Sitting on the steps of the school with his head tucked into his knees was Nathaniel. And while he could sense Marc’s sadness, Nathaniel’s feelings of rage and betrayal were too good to pass up. So, it dived down and flew into the half heart necklace turning it black. He looked up, revealing the Akuma symbol over his face
__
Once Hawkmoth felt Nathaniel’s emotions, he smirked, “Welcome back Evillustrator. I can assure you, you’ll have your reven-”, Hawkmoth stopped mid-sentence, a look of confusion on his face, “What’s this?”
__
Marc lifted his head up from his hands, revealing an Akuma symbol over his tear-stained face. And his necklace was now pitch black
Hawkmoth rubbed his temples, obviously overwhelmed by the emotions these two boys were feeling. Anger, sadness, betrayal, disbelief, “Well, there’s no need to choose now. Reverstrator, I am Hawkmoth. With my help, you won’t be separated from the one you love again, no one will come between you. All I ask in return is that you bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous.”
“Yes, Hawkmoth,” they say in unison. Once the Akuma symbols disappear, the purple and black mist bubbled up from their necklaces and surrounded them. The purple mist that covered Nathaniel went towards the front doors of the school, phased through, and made its way through the courtyard, startling a few students, then it went into the locker room and combined with the mist that covered Marc
The mist lifted up revealing a tall akuma, around Kim’s height, who looks like a fusion of Evillustrator and Reverser. The left side of his face is purple while the left is black, and his lipstick, while the same colors are inverted. The left side of his short-sleeved hoodie is white with black slanted stripes, the hood is black, he has black sleeves with white stripes under the hoodie, and he has white fingerless gloves which reveal black fingers. The other side is inverted. On the front of his hoodie is a black and white circle with the primary colors on it, but one is half yellow and half black. His pants are half black and white, he has a black boot on his right foot and red on his left. His hair is similar to Evillustrator’s but is more downward, the purple tips at the end are now black and white, and he has a black beret. Two noticeable traits about this Akuma is that he has two forearms on each upper arm, and he has four eyes, but two are closed at the moment while the top eyes, which are turquoise, are narrowed.
“I’m coming for you, Agreste.” He summoned Evillustrator’s tablet and pen in his hands
__
“Man, why isn’t Nath texting back?”, Alix questioned as she continued texting Nathaniel for the sixth time, “He’s been gone for like five minutes.”
“Yeah, and Marc isn’t here either.”, Marinette said, “You think they got... Sidetracked?”
Rose giggled, “Maybe.”
M. Haberkorn intervened, an amused smile on his face, “Now let’s not assume anything. They’re probably helping each other look for something.”
“Yeah, I’ll bet.”, Juleka said, a hint of playfulness in her monotone voice
Alix shook her head amusedly, “Alright, they get three more minutes, then we gotta go looking for them.” The three other girls nodded in agreement before they heard some screams coming from the courtyard, “Must be another Akuma.”, Alix said. The students and the teacher peaked out of the window and saw the Akuma running rampant around the courtyard
“WHERE IS HE?! WHERE’S ADRIEN AGRESTE?!”
“Who’s that?”, Juleka asked, shocked at the appearance of the enraged Akuma
“Damn, Hawkmoth,” Alix whispered, “you’ve made some weird-looking ones, but this one is just... God.”
“And why does he have Evillustrator’s tablet?”, Marinette piped up when she noticed the familiar Akuma weapon on one of the arms, and in the akuma’s hand was the drawing pen. She took a closer look at the Akuma and noticed a necklace with a heart charm around his neck. The more Marinette took in his appearance, the more she noticed how similar it looked to Evillustrator and Reverser, “Guys, I think that’s Marc and Nathaniel!”
The four looked at her in bewilderment before she urged for them to take a closer look at the Akuma. “It is them!”, Rose exclaimed
“They’re fused like Oblivio,” Juleka said, “How did this happen?”
M. Haberkorn shook his head solemnly, “I don’t know. But the four you need to get out of here before someone gets hurt.” As if proving his point, a loud crash was heard followed by more screaming. “Wait until I say it’s safe.” The four of them nodded. He made his way over to the door and carefully opened it. Peaking his head out, he saw the Akuma was erasing walls to classrooms, trying to find Adrien. His back was turned to the art classroom. “Alright, hurry out,” he whispered
They nodded and quickly ran out of the classroom; M. Haberkorn went to help any of the other students evacuate. Alix, Marinette, Juleka, and Rose ran through the crowd of panicking students, but Marinette stopped suddenly and ran in the direction of the locker rooms while Alix, Juleka, and Rose made it out
She opened her purse, allowing Tikki to fly out, “How do you think this happened?”, Marinette asked the tiny goddess, “I don’t know, but this Akuma is a combination of Reverser and Evillustrator, so you need to be careful. You remember how they were last time.”
Marinette nodded at the memory. Marc and Nathaniel were reckless, hostile, and apathetic as Akumas. Nathaniel almost killed Chloe with a buzz saw, and Marc nearly caused a meteor shower that could’ve destroyed Paris. Fused together, there was no telling what destruction they could cause. Before Marinette could say the phrase and transform, she noticed a crumpled piece of paper on the floor. Curious, she picked it up and opened it, revealing the photo of Marc and Adrien kissing
“What the?”, she whispered. Tikki’s eyes widened, “Well that answers Nathaniel’s akumatization, but what about Marc?” Marinette shrugged, but then noticed a piece of paper by the bench. She picked it up and saw that it was a photo of Nathaniel and Alix kissing. “There’s no way these are real. Marc and Nathaniel would never cheat on each other, Alix is Nathaniel’s best friend, she’s aromantic, and Adrien’s dating Kagami!”, she narrowed her eyes at the fake photos, “Someone must have wanted this to happen, t-to get them to break up, or maybe even deliberately try to get them Akumatized.”
“Well, you can figure this out later!”, Tikki told her chosen
“You’re right.”
TIKKI, SPOTS ON!
__
“He’s obviously not here, you jerk!”, a voice that sounded a lot like Reverser’s exclaimed
“Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!”, Reverstrator shouted, “Fine. I’ll go look somewhere else.”
“NO! We’re going after Alix first! You let her get away!”
“What’s your deal with her?”, he growled, “She didn’t do anything!”
“Neither did Adrien!”
“Oh, of course, you take his side!”, Reverstrator exclaimed as he drew a boxing glove that punched the front doors open. Before he could walk out, Ladybug’s yoyo wrapped around his waist and flung him into a wall, “Oh, great. You’re here.”
Ladybug retracted her yoyo and spun it, preparing to use it as a shield, “The feeling is mutual! Marc, Nathaniel, whatever happened-”
“DON’T SAY HIS NAME! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT RIGHT NOW!”, he shouted, then drew seven swords, all aimed at Ladybug
From her hiding spot under the stairs, Lila watched the scene unfold with a twisted, unsettling, sadistic grin on her face. “Come on, do it!”, she whispered
Ladybug dodged each sword, quick and easy. They embedded themselves into the courtyard floor and formed small cracks. Lila stomped her foot in frustration and cursed out the Akuma for his failure to kill the spotted heroine, “Stupid akumas can’t do anything right!” Caught up in her ranting, Lila doesn’t notice Aurore standing a few feet away, but still in earshot, recording the battle and her. The blonde weather girl looked appalled.
“HOLD STILL, YOU PEST!”, Reverstrator was becoming angrier and angrier every time Ladybug dodged his drawn weapons. Swords and axes? Avoided and embedded into the ground. Missiles? Uses her yoyo to fling each one into the sky so they don’t destroy Paris. Boxing glove? Jump over it and just let it fly through the holes in the school walls. As she prepared to dodge more attacks, Ladybug noticed Reverstrator holding his head, and it sounded like he was muttering to himself
“God, you suck at this.”
“Well, why don’t you try it if you’re so great at it?”
“Maybe I will!”
“Don’t you dare- AH!”
Reverstrator seemed to go limp above the waist for a moment and stops moving. Ladybug slowly approached him, but stopped when he suddenly straightened up, and she grimaced when a few bones made an audible crack. His turquoise eyes closed and two monochrome eyes below them open up. Evillustrator’s tablet and pen disappear and are replaced with four monochrome paper airplanes sitting in Reverstrator’s hands.
“Let’s try this again! Your powers are useless now! REVERSION!”, Reverstrator hurled the four paper airplanes at Ladybug who acted quickly and shielded herself with her yoyo, blocking each one, “Are you KIDDING ME?!”
“Not so easy, is it?” Evillustrator’s voice snarked
“Shut it!”, Reverstrator yelled to the voice in his head as the glowing Akuma symbol appeared over his face
“Reverstrator, focus!”, Hawkmoth yelled, “I want my Miraculous!”
“Forget this!”
“No!”
Reverstrator’s body convulsed a bit, and as the monochrome eyes closed, the turquoise ones opened, “I’m going after Adrien,” Evillustrator's said, speaking through Reverstrator. His tablet and pen reappeared, which he used to draw a ball and chain around Ladybug’s ankle, preventing her from moving
“Don’t go after the boy!” Hawkmoth commanded, now concerned for Adrien’s safety
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t,” Reverstrator snapped, “You don’t even care who lives or dies when you send out a damn Akuma every week!”
“Your prime objective is to take the Miraculous!”
“Sure. Right after I give that rich boy what he deserves!” He drew a jetpack on his back and took off. Ladybug wrapped the string of her yoyo around the anklet, and it snapped open due to the strength of the magic weapon. Before she could swing away, Ladybug noticed Lila glaring up towards where Reverstrator flew away. ‘Later,’ she thought to herself before swinging off after Reverstrator.
__
Adrien, Nathalie, and the Gorilla sit through some traffic. Nathalie scrolls through her tablet, “You have a piano lesson in two hours, then tomorrow after school, another photoshoot...”
Adrien just zones out as she drones on in her monotonous voice. Plagg pokes his head out of his pocket and gives him a bored look as he munches on a piece of cheese. Adrien feels himself dozing off when suddenly- “ADRIEN AGRESTE!”
Nathalie put a protective hand on Adrien’s shoulder and ushered for him to duck down. She looked out the window, seeing nothing but cars and a few people getting out of there to see what’s going on. It was quiet for a moment when suddenly, an arm penetrates the roof, making Adrien let out a yelp as the hand grabbed his head, two more burst through and grab his face. Nathalie reacts, hits the first arm with her tablet, making it recoil, and grabs the other two arms wrists, “Adrien, run!”
With a nod, Adrien bolted out of the car and ran down the sidewalk, catching a glimpse of the Akuma as he rounded a corner and made his way into an alley. Plagg flew out of his pocket, eyes widened, “Did you see that guy?!”
Adrien nodded, “Hawkmoth is officially twisted.”
PLAGG, CLAWS OUT!
__
Reverstrator finally releases himself from Nathalie’s grip and runs off to find Adrien, “WHERE ARE YOU?!”
“Lookin’ for me?!”, Chat Noir’s boot made contact with his stomach, sending him to the ground and knocking the wind out of him, “I know I’m no Adrien Agreste, but you gotta admit, I’m way better.”, he smirked
Reverstrator got back up, “That, we can agree on. Adrien Agreste is a backstabbing two-timer who steals people in relationships!”
“What are you talking about?!”
Chat Noir furrowed his brown in confusion, and he didn’t have time to react when a fire hose drawn by Reverstrator sprayed him with a powerful blast of water. Chat backed away, grabbed his baton, and spun it around so it acted like a shield, deflecting the blast
“Marc, Nathaniel! Stop!”, Ladybug yelled as she dropped in and wrapped her yoyo around Reverstrator
“Don’t call me that! I’m Reverstrator now!” Suddenly, his torso started rotating around rapidly, unwinding Ladybug’s yoyo. Chat surged towards him with his staff ready. Reverstrator grabbed the staff with one set of hands and used the other set to grab Chat Noir by his waist then fling him into the streets. Ladybug threw her yoyo at him, but he managed to catch it just an inch away from his head. Grabbing the string of his yoyo with all of his hands, Reverstrator kept a tight grip as he spun his torso around and then flung Ladybug right into Chat Noir when he abruptly let go of the yoyo
Reverstrator got out his pen and drew a hole on his tablet, then a second later, one appears beneath the heroes and they fall in, “See? That’s how you get rid of heroes!”
“...”
“Oh, silent treatment, huh?!”
“Reverstrator! Why didn’t you take their Miraculous before sending them into the hole?!”, Hawkmoth asked, enraged
Reverstrator rolled his eyes, “They can’t get out of there. I’ll come back for them later.” He leaped onto a roof and made his way to the Agreste mansion
__
“Oh, I hope Marinette’s okay,” Rose voiced her concern as she, Juleka, and Alix walked back into the school when they saw that Reverstrator was gone
Juleka places a hand on her shoulder, “Maybe she just got separated while we were running. I’m sure she’s okay.”
Alix agreed, “Yeah, she can take care of herself. Maybe she just hid in the locker room.” The three of them walk into the locker room and look around for the pigtailed girl, “Marinette?!” She called out, “Marinette?!”
Juleka knocks on a few lockers, “Marinette? You in here?”
Rose walks out of the bathroom and shakes her head, “I don’t think she’s in here.”
Alix furrowed her brow in confusion, “Okay, maybe she got swept up in a group. Jules, you might be right about her getting separated.” Juleka smiled at that
Rose sighed with relief and then sat down on the bench, “Well, that’s good.” She felt her foot brush up against something and looked down to see the photo face-down on the floor, “Hm?” She picked up the photo, flipped it over, and her eyes widened in shock, “... Alix? Could you take a look at this?” She hands the photo over to Alix. The pink-haired girl gave the photo an incredulous look, “WHAT THE HELL?!” She stomps over to Juleka who’s looking down at something in her hands, “Are you seeing this?! I did not kiss Nathaniel!... Jules?” Juleka shows her and Rose what she’s looking at.
Rose gasped, “That’s why Reverstrator is after Adrien!”
“So if Nathaniel saw this photo, then Marc must’ve seen the other one.” Juleka turns to Alix, “So Reverstrator might be after you next.”
“But I didn’t kiss Nath!” She exclaimed, “And Marc definitely didn’t kiss Adrien!” She takes the photo out of Juleka’s hand and examines both photos, “These had to have been photoshopped, o-or something!”
Rose notices something on one of the photos, “Hey, what’s that?” She points to an orange smudge in the corner of the photo of Alix and Nathaniel kissing, “Looks like nail polish.” Juleka smirks, “Or Nathaniel uses hair dye.”
“Wait.” Alix narrows her eyes at the nail polish stain, “There’s only one person in the whole class who wears orange nail polish.”
“LILA!”, Rose and Juleka said at the same time
Alix nodded, “It makes sense. They know she’s lying too, so of course, she’d pull this shit! We gotta tell them before they go after Adrien!” She’s about to head out of the locker room, but Juleka stops her by placing a hand on her shoulder, “But what about you?” “I’ll be fine. It’s Lila you should be worried about when they find out what she did.” After that, she stormed out of the locker room with Juleka and Rose behind her.
__
Ladybug and Chat Noir were still in the hole. Ladybug tried using her yoyo to get out, but there was nothing for it to wrap around outside the hole. Chat Noir then wrapped his arms around Ladybug and extended his staff so that they rose out of the hole
“Nice thinking, Chat.” Ladybug commended as Chat shortened his staff
Chat smiled, “Thank you, m’lady. Now let’s go!” He and Ladybug vaulted and swung away
__
Reverstrator landed on top of a roof and just stands there, “... Why can’t I move? What are you doing?!”
“We need to talk right now!”, Reverser’s voice shouted
“I don’t want to!”, he yelled back while covering his ears, hoping that will block out his voice
“Well, I’m not letting you go until we talk!... Please?”
Reverstrator sighed, “Fine.” The monochrome eyes slowly opened, and immediately a few tears pour out as Reverstrator has a conversation with himself
Reverser speaks through Reverstrator, “... Why would you do this? W-what did I do wrong? I... I love you and you just...” One of his right hands wipes away the tears. Evillustrator speaks through Reverstrator, “I could ask you the same thing. I-I don’t know why you’re mad, but you really hurt me.”
“How did I hurt you? You kissed Alix!”
“W-what?! I never kissed Alix!... Is this why you’re mad at her? You think we kissed?”
“... Yeah.”
“No! That never happened! And I saw the photo of you kissing Adrien!” The turquoise eyes start crying, “Then I saw you and him laughing. An-and I just-”
“Well, that’s only because he was telling me what you said to Lila in class! I-I would never cheat on you. I love you...”
“I’d never cheat on you either, and Alix would never hurt you like that.” Reverstrator’s right hands wipe away the tears forming in the monochrome eyes
“I’d never do something like that to you... But where did the photo come from?”
The turquoise eyes narrowed when they noticed Alix, Juleka, and Rose walking down the sidewalk, “Let’s find out.”
__
“When I see that girl tomorrow in class, I’m gonna-!”
Reverstrator dropped down right in front of the three girls, startling them and cutting off Alix’s rant, “ALIX!” Upon seeing the menacing glare he was giving their friend, Juleka and Rose shielded Alix from the Akuma
“You better explain why there’s a picture of you kissing Nathaniel!”, Reverser shouted through the Akuma and summoned two paper airplanes in the two left hands
Alix gently nudged Juleka and Rose out of the way and approached the Akuma, but the two girls held onto their friend’s arms for protection, “Nath, Marc...” Hearing Reverstrator let out a low growl, she corrected herself, “Reverstrator, those photos are fake! I never kissed Nathaniel, and Adrien never kissed Marc! We wouldn’t do that!”
Before Reverstrator could say anything, Juleka spoke, “Lila faked those photos. W-we found some of her nail polish smeared on the back of one of them
“That... That...”
“Lignerish shlang!”
Without saying another word, Reverstrator crushed the paper airplanes in his hands and ran off to find the lying Italian who nearly destroyed a beautiful relationship. Alix called out to him, but he was already gone, leaping over the city once again. A second later, Ladybug and Chat Noir land by them. “Are you okay?” Ladybug asked as she checks to see if Reverstrator hurt them in any way
Alix nodded, “Yeah, we’re fine. But it’s Lila that you gotta save.”
Ladybug tried not to show her disgust at the mention of the liar, but Chat Noir wasn’t holding back, “What’d she do now?” he asked bitterly
“’Now?’“ Rose parroted
Chat continued, “Yeah. This wouldn’t be the first time she’s pissed off an Akuma.”
“Chat,” Ladybug hissed, “Not now.” She turned back to Alix, “So what happened?”
“Lila photoshopped a photo so it would look like Marc kissed Adrien, and Nathaniel kissed me,” she explained. Off the heroes’ looks of disgust, she continued, “Yeah, and all because they knew that she was lying!”
Ladybug took a sharp inhale. That liar could ruin her life all she wanted, but rope her friends and cousin into this? There will be hell to pay, “Alright. I guess we have to save her again. The three of you better get to safety.” Then she and Chat swung and vaulted after the Akuma as the three girls just stood there
“We’re gonna see how this goes, aren’t we?” Juleka asked after a few seconds of silence
Alix nodded, “Hell, yeah!” She exclaimed as they began springing in the direction of Reverstrator and the heroes went, “Hey, if we’re lucky, Lila might be exposed in front of everyone.”
__
Lila was walking on air. Marc and Nathaniel were probably beating that pesky bug to a bloody pulp right now. She was a little miffed that they didn’t slice her open with one of those swords or reverse her powers so she’d be useless as always. And hopefully, when she fails, those two f*gs will become public enemy numbers one and two. She could spin a whole sob story about how they were jealous of her relationship with Ladybug and they’ll be banished from Paris. Maybe she could even throw in something about Marinette and those d*kes she hangs out with. They are close; maybe get the idea of them working for Hawkmoth into those idiots’ heads-
“So, what do you think of doing another interview tomorrow?”
‘Ugh. Remember your fanbase, remember your fanbase,’ Lila reminded herself every time she hung out with Alya, “Alya, that’d be wonderful! I’d love to!” She exclaimed, before quickly dropping her expression, “But I just hope I’ll be okay to do it tomorrow. I’m just so worried about my bestie getting hurt!”
Alya nodded, “Yeah, Reverstrator doesn’t seem like the type of Akuma to hold back. But, I’m sure she’ll be fine... Though, I wonder why Marc and Nathaniel got akumatized in the first place.”
Lila internally smirked, ‘Perfect,’ “You don’t think it was because of me, do you?”
Alya immediately went to comfort her, “Girl, I’m sure it was just something else. Maybe stressed out from their comic, or-”
“But we haven’t been on the best terms lately, and-” She choked back a sob, “I can’t help but feel that I’m the reason they were Akumatized... Or... Maybe they were jealous that I’m friends with Ladybug?”
Alya frowned, “Well then, that’s just not right. Once they go back to normal, we’re gonna confront them about this!”
“ROSSI!”
Parisians cleared the way as Reverstrator dropped down from above and landed in the middle of Pont des Arts. “It’s time to reveal every single one of your lies!” Four monochrome paper airplanes materialized in his hands, “REVERSION!”
Lila ducked out of the way as the planes came for her, and they instead hit a few pedestrians who started revealing everything they’ve lied about, “I-I didn’t do anything! Please, whatever happened, I can help you!” She whined while throwing in a few tears for good measure
“ENOUGH!” Evillustrator’s pen materialized in one of his left hands, and the tablet on his right arm. He began drawing, “You won’t try to tear us apart ever again!” A buzz-saw appeared beside him and spun its way towards the two girls. Not taking any chances, Lila grabbed Alya and put her in front of her like a shield
“LILA?!”, Alya screamed as she struggled to get out of her hold, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” The more she struggled, the more Lila’s nails dug into her skin and she let out a pained scream
“Call it off! Erase it!”, “I’m doing it!” The buzz saw was erased from existence, and Alya was safe. Lila pushed Alya to the ground then ran away. Reverstrator was about to run after her, but when he saw the look of betrayal on Alya’s face, he said to her, “I’d start looking for new friends if I were you.” And he ran after Lila, leaving Alya horrified at what just happened
‘How could she do that?’ She thought to herself, ‘She used me as a human shield, I-I could have died. Why would she do this?... I thought we were friends.’
Rousing her from her thoughts was the sound of a notification from her phone. She wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks and checked her phone. She furrowed her brow as she read what was on her screen. Aurore had made a post on her blog, Bug & Cat Chat. She wasn’t a fan of the blonde girl having a blog that rivaled her own and stole most of her viewers, but she kept tabs to see what she posted and how she could make the Ladyblog better. ‘Ladybug’s Supposed Bestie Roots for Akuma?’
__
Lila ran as fast as she could down the streets of Paris, but Reverstrator was faster. She dodged every paper plane, every sword, dagger, and flaming arrow, shoving pedestrians out of her way and almost getting them hit in the process. When the attacks stopped, Lila stopped running and took a few breaths.
“Damn it, Hawkmoth,” she cursed under her breath, “Control your freaks.” This moment of peace was cut short by a scream. Lila looked back and saw a car being tossed into the air and heading right for her. She leaped out of the way as the car hit the ground
“Lie-La~” Reverstrator called out, “It would be easier for everyone here if you just gave yourself up!” He started lifting another car
Lila rubbed her eyes to make it look like she’s crying, “I didn’t do anything! Why are you after me?!” She looked through her hands and saw people in the vicinity giving her wary looks, ‘Why are none of these idiots helping me?! Can’t they see I’m in danger?!’
“Mommy! That’s the girl who put the Ladyblogger in danger!” A little boy shouted
Lila looked again and saw many of the citizens scowling at or backing away from her. Some were even looking down at their phones. When she listened closely, she could clearly make out Alya’s panicked voice coming from their phones
‘Who the hell recorded that?!’
“Aurore got a video of her rooting for the Akuma!”
“She wanted Ladybug dead!”
“I bet she’s working for Hawkmoth!”
Lila scowled, ‘That blonde b*mbo!’ She put her hands behind her back and pinched her wrists to make herself cry, “I-I’d never do that! I’d never put Ladybug in danger!” Another car was thrown her way, she ran with Reverser hot on her tail
“IT’S NO USE RUNNING, LILA! JUST GIVE YOURSELF UP! EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT YOU’RE REALLY LIKE!”
Lila was about the round a corner, but Reverstrator grabbed her by the back of her jacket and held her up in the air, “It’s over! Now confess everything you’ve lied about!”
Even when her life was on the line, Lila would not own up to her lies, “I didn’t do anything wrong! I don’t know why you’re after me, but-”
“ENOUGH!” Evillustrator summoned a paper airplane, “You are now forced to tell the truth! Reversion- HEY!” He tried to yank his arm away as Ladybug’s yoyo wrapped around his wrist
“Reverstrator, stop!” Ladybug called out as she and Chat Noir arrived, “Everyone already knows that Lila is dangerous-”
“SHUT UP LADYBUG! NO ONE ASKED YOU SHIT!”, Lila screeched, making everyone gasp. Lila was about to say more, but one of Reverstrator’s other hands wrapped around her neck and she started choking, but then he dropped her to the ground when Ladybug yanked on her yoyo and flung him into the side of a building
Chat narrowed his eyes at Lila who had taken off running a while ago, “Better hurry before she causes more trouble.”
Ladybug nodded then called for her, “LUCKY CHARM!” What dropped in her hands was, “Another yoyo?”
Chat Noir extended his staff, “Better figure out how to use it quick; Reverstrator won’t go down so easy!”
Reverstrator started drawing again, and another buzz saw came spinning for them. Chat Noir jumped in front of Ladybug and yelled out, “CATACLYSM!” The buzz saw crumbled into black dust, and immediately, the heroes were barraged by arrows. And with his free hands, he threw paper airplanes at them. They take cover behind a flipped car. Not wanting to risk getting shot by an arrow or reversed, Ladybug used the mirror in her yoyo to find a way to use her lucky charm
Use your yoyo to deflect his attacks
Wrap both yoyo’s around Reverstrator’s arms
He has super strength, so you won’t be able to hold him down on your own
Tie the ends of the yoyos to the lamp posts; they’re bolted tight to the ground
Break the necklace, catch the Akuma
Ladybug turned to Chat Noir with a determined look, “Hey, Kitty? Ever use a yoyo before?” With a grin, Chat takes the lucky charm yoyo and extends his staff. Ladybug spins her yoyo; the two run out from behind the car and start deflecting Reverstrator’s planes and arrows. Once they got close enough, Ladybug wrapped her yoyo around Reverstrator’s left arms, and Chat wrapped the Lucky Charm yoyo around the right arms. They ran in opposite directions and tied the yoyos around lamp posts so he can’t get free.
“NO!” He growled with tears in his eyes, “You won’t separate us!”
Ladybug walked over, reached into the monochrome hoodie, and pulled out a black heart-shaped necklace. She threw it to the ground, making it shatter into many pieces so the Akuma would fly out. She quickly unwrapped her yoyo, “No more evil-doing for you little Akuma... Time to De-Evilize!” She caught the Akuma, “Gotcha!” Fluttering out from the yoyo was a pure white butterfly, “Bye-bye, little butterfly.”
Chat Noir tossed her the lucky charm yoyo. She tossed it into the air and yelled out, “MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!” The yoyo burst into millions of ladybugs. The swept around the city, fixing the school, getting rid of the weapons drawn by Reverstrator, removing the reversion curse of citizens who were hit by the paper airplanes, and finally, Reverstrator was washed over by a black and purple mist that lifted up and revealed Marc and Nathaniel passed out on the ground
Ladybug and Chat Noir did their signature fist-bump, “Pound it!”
“Ugh,” Nathaniel got up and rubbed his head, “What the hell...?” His eyes widened when he saw Marc on the ground, “Rainbow!” He rushed over to his boyfriend’s side, “Baby, are you okay?” Marc’s eyes fluttered open, and Nathaniel let out a relieved sigh, “Marc, I’m so sorry I thought you cheated on me, I- You’d never do that! I just-” “Nath...” “When I saw that photo, I just panicked!” “Nath!” Nathaniel was cut off by Marc throwing his arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. “... I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions either. Nath, I’m sorry.”
Ladybug and Chat Noir offered their hands and helped the two boys up, “I’m guessing you guys remember what happened.”
Nathaniel furrowed his brow, “I-I just remember seeing that photo of Marc kissing Adrien...” No one noticed the look of shock on Chat’s face, “Then I remember Alix mentioning...” His expression darkened, “...Lila.” Marc held his hand and kissed his cheek, “She’s sort of had out for us ever since we pointed out a few holes in her lies.”
“Well, don’t worry. I’m sure you won’t be seeing much of her anymore.” At the superheroine’s words, the two boys smiled. Suddenly, the distinct beeping of Ladybug and Chat’s miraculous’ were heard
“Well, we best be off,” Chat said as he extended his staff and vaulted away
Ladybug gave the two one last smile, “Bug out.” and she swung away
__
Hawkmoth threw his can to the ground, “NO! How could they have beaten Reverstrator? He should have unstoppable! Ladybug, I swear, I will have your Miraculous!”
__
Lila felt all eyes on her as she walked into Dupont. Normally she would preen at the attention she was receiving, but these looks were hate-filled. They all looked like they wanted her dead. Ignoring the glares, she put on a prideful demeanor as she strutted her way to class...
...Where she was met with even more death glares.
Alix stood from her seat, “You’ve got some fucking nerve coming back here, Rossi.”
She reared back, “Oh, Alix!” tears began to pour, “How could you say something like that?!”, she started sobbing into her hands but no one was buying her fake tears
Nino wrapped his arms protectively around Alya and glared at the Italian, “Just get lost, Lila. Everyone in Paris saw the shit you pulled.”
“I-I don’t know what-”
“YOU PUSHED ALYA IN FRONT OF A BUZZ SAW, YOU BITCH!” Marinette screamed as she stormed over towards the Italian, “You could have killed her!”
Lila backed away from the enraged pigtailed girl, “I-I was trying to push her out of the way, but my carpel tunnel acted up, and-”
“Cut the crap, Rossi!” Nathaniel yelled, “Marc and I almost killed Alya because of you!”
“It wasn’t my fault you two got akumatized!”
“IT WAS!” The entire room went silent when the redhead slammed his fist on the desk, “You photoshopped pictures of us cheating on each other, and that’s what got us akumatized!”
Lila forced tears out of her eyes, “I’d never do something like that!” she whined
Juleka spoke up, “We found your nail polish on one of the photos,” She held up the photo and pointed to the orange nail polish. Before Lila could retort, Marinette held up one of her hands, her nails were still painted the same shade of orange as the nail polish on the photo
“Th-that was just a coincidence! It’s a very popular color!”
Chloe laughed, “Newsflash, Rossi. Raw sienna looks good on no one. Especially not you.”
Adrien stood from his seat, “And I’m sure you can explain why there’s a video of you cheering for the Akuma,” he sent Nathaniel an apologetic look, “then saying Akuma’s can’t do anything right.”
The Italian went silent before, “Ow! My head hurts! See, while I was in Africa, I hit my head and-”
“That explains a lot,” Ivan muttered
“B-but guys, I’d never...” Seeing that no one was buying a single thing she said, she scowled, “Alright, fine! So I pushed her in front of me, so what?! Better her than me!” Marinette and Nino looked ready to strangle her. She points to Nathaniel, “And you and your f*ggot boyfriend should learn your place you k**e!”
The entire room gasped at the slur used against their friend
“Lila Rossi!” Everyone turned to see Mme. Bustier standing at the doorway, “Principal’s office, now!”
“B-but Mme. Bustier!” Lila stammered
“NOW!” She repeated, “I will not have that type of language used in my classroom!”
“But Nathaniel cursed me out yesterday!”
Mme. Bustier nodded, “Yes, but no one could understand him.” She shot the redhead an apologetic smile and he smiled back, “You on the other hand, we understood you loud and clear. I will not tolerate the use of derogatory terms in this class! Now go!” She points to the door. Defeated, Lila trudges out but not before she adds, “And I’ll be giving your mother a call as well.”
Mme. Bustier followed her out and slammed the door behind her, leaving the classroom in silence
“... Okay!” Kim yelled out, “No one’s saying it, so I will.” He approaches Marinette, “Mari, I-I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you. You’re one of the most honest people I know, and I just picked that... Cáo nói dối over my own sister.”
Marinette smiled and embraced Kim, “Thanks, Kimmy.” The athlete wrapped his arms around her, “Anytime, em gái.” The whole room started apologizing to the students who didn’t believe Lila’s stories and gathered for a group hug
Marinette hummed, “Guys, this is nice... But if you ever do this again, I will not hesitate to knock some sense into each and every one of you. And believe me. I will be very violent.”
Mylene chuckled nervously, “Noted.”
__
“Hey, Rainbow.” Marc looked up from his journal and saw Nathaniel standing by the stairs, “Hey.” Nathaniel went under the stairs and sat next to Marc before littering his face with kisses, making the black-haired boy blush
“What’s got you so happy?”
Nathaniel smirked, “Two things. First: Lila’s being arrested for possibly working with Hawkmoth,” off Marc’s incredulous look, he nodded, “Seriously! After that video Aurore posted, the police took her in for questioning.”
Marc tackled Nathaniel into a hug, “That’s amazing! So, what’s the second thing?” He gives Nathaniel a knowing look
“Well,” he takes Marc’s hand and kisses it, “Ever since we were fused together, I just... I’ve never felt closer to you. Even though we were Akumatized, it just felt amazing.”
Marc can’t help but blush, “Yeah. I-I know we were arguing most of the time, but I still loved being that close to you.” His smile dropped a little, “I could feel how upset you were. That also showed how much you really care about me.”
“Of course I do, Rainbow,” Nathaniel said as he caressed his cheek, “You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. I was prepared to murder Adrien because of that photo.”
“And I was going to throttle Alix...”
“... Not our best moment.” “No, not really.”
“But,” Nathaniel pulls his sketchbook out from his messenger bag, “It does give me a few ideas for our next comic.”
Marc shows Nathaniel the page he was working on, “Me too.”
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forevercloudnine · 4 years
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new 52 riddlebat ship meme
(@heroes-etc picked me out a lot of questions and we’re still going. This set is from this ship meme.)
1. Who makes the first move and how?
Ostensibly it would be Edward, if putting together a subtext-laden citywide scavenger hunt that threatens the lives of hundreds counts as “making the first move.” But there’s a limit to how much deliberately obfuscating any expression of your feelings can be considered making any move at all. He also doesn’t seem to really know what he wants from Bruce — in “Alone,” he’s quick to say that he designed the puzzles to lead Batman to him on purpose, but doesn’t have an answer when questioned on what he wanted Batman to do other than catch him.
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So even though Edward is technically the instigator here, he places the burden of actually doing something entirely on Batman. Which is difficult, because Riddler’s increased brutality in the New 52 makes him like the last possible version of the character Bruce would choose to pursue. BUT Scott Snyder made Batjokes practically text in this continuity, so obviously New 52 Bruce does not have a problem getting overly emotionally involved with supervillains who have unrealistically large body counts. In fact, the brutality may work to Edward’s advantage here; if he caused enough damage, maybe Bruce would kidnap him and keep him in the Batcave the way it was revealed he was keeping the Joker in Dark Days: The Casting #1. 
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What could be more romantic than being imprisoned in the batcave? Well, probably a lot of things, really. But in this case, having a lot of quality time together in which Riddler is not actively murdering anyone is probably the only way that these two could work out what they have going on between them. 
Edward could also earn his way down there by figuring out Batman’s identity, which he’s clearly pretty close to in Batman Annual #4. There’s only so much mental distance between “Bruce Wayne is obsessed with the death of his parents and his drive for justice and revenge has led him to bring Batman into existence, making him responsible for everything Batman has ever done” and “Bruce Wayne IS Batman,” especially when Bruce Wayne does things like climb museum exhibits to leave through the skylight or pull off a trickshot that ruins Riddler’s whole evil plan directly in front of Edward’s face.
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And if he DID figure it out, New 52 Riddler would probably be less courteous about its secrecy than Joker is. (Not that Joker is THAT polite about it, given that he keeps trying to use the information to either kill Bruce’s whole family, or... I don’t know... whatever he did with Wayne Enterprises in Joker War. Wait, is THAT why Bruce was keeping Joker in the Batcave in Rebirth?) 
So just to review, I am *checks notes* arguing that Bruce would instigate a romantic relationship by kidnapping Edward and imprisoning him against his will. Yes, that sounds about right for DC’s current continuity.
6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?
If Riddler DOESN’T know Batman’s secret identity, then he would want to have a threesome with Bruce Wayne. Batman Annual #4 suggests that he might have already been a bit obsessed with Bruce even before suspecting his involvement with Batman, given that he talks about how watching Bruce in the tabloids growing up was everyone’s “favorite tv show” and reminisces about learning a lot of information about Bruce’s life that way, including stuff that wouldn’t have made it to the news, like Bruce anonymously setting his teacher’s yard on fire as a teenager.
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It’s actually almost a Batman Forever vibe, or it would be if New 52 Edward wasn’t so much less endearing. Is his childhood fascination with Bruce part of why he got a job working for Bruce’s uncle at Wayne Enterprises as an adult, or was that just a happy accident in his preparations for Zero Year? Either way, he’s clearly obsessed with Bruce now, and he’s definitely under the impression that Batman knows him well. So as long as he didn’t know they were the same person, he would probably try to arrange a ménage à trois (wouldn’t that be awkward).
If he DID know they were the same person, then unfortunately Edward would definitely try and instigate a threesome with Joker. I’m not saying it would work, I’m just saying that all of the War of Jokes and Riddles reads like Edward trying to insert himself in the middle of Batjokes and getting rejected by both of them repeatedly.
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Joker wasn’t interested the first time Riddler came on to him (or the second time, literally in the same office, Edward please learn how to read a room), so he probably wouldn’t go for it if Edward tried again. But if The War and Jokes and Riddles demonstrated anything, it’s that Edward doesn’t know how to take a hint, so he’d probably try again regardless. And then blame Bruce when it doesn’t work, probably. I always thought it was dumb when Riddler hyped up the oh-so-horrible thing that Batman did to him in the War of Jokes and Riddles in Batman #19, only for it to turn out that Bruce just, like... almost stabbed him.... but didn’t. After Riddler had ALREADY betrayed him.
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But it makes more sense that Edward is being such a dramatic bitch if you’re instead interpreting “I still remember what he did” as just a summary of the conga line of rejection that Riddler received over the course of that arc from both sides of Batjokes.
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(TWOJAR as helpfully summarized by @heroes-etc​)
11. What do they hide from one another?
I don’t think they can really hide anything from each other, actually. I mean there’s the obvious “Batman is hiding his secret identity” and “Riddler is hiding evil scheme of the week #39.” But Bruce is the “World’s Greatest Detective” as per usual, and Edward is actually not that far behind him in this continuity (even if his delusions can cause him to project and misinterpret his findings, i.e. assuming that Bruce purposefully went bankrupt so that Riddler and the other Arkhamites would have to live in Wayne Manor and be reminded of him every second of every day). Batman Annual #4 has a great example of this where Edward reveals that he knows about how Bruce tried to treat his paranoid vigilante compulsions with shock therapy when he was a teenager. No one but Alfred and the doctors know about that — and I’m just assuming that Alfred knew, it’s not something that was stated in Zero Year.
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Bruce obviously solves pretty much every riddle that Edward puts in front of him, but he picks up on the stuff that Riddler is purposefully trying to obscure too. Whether he was researching Edward ahead of time (likely) or just so good at snap psychoanalysis he should have a job at Arkham (possible, Zero Year was written by Scott Snyder), his summary of Edward’s life during their first interaction as Batman and Riddler in Batman #31 is clearly too accurate for Edward’s comfort, as it ruins what had previously been excitement on Riddler’s part that Batman was still alive. 
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So good luck to both of them at hiding absolutely anything from each other. The best they can hope for is if WHEN the other person finds what they’ve been hiding, they misinterpret either the information or the reason why it was hidden from them in the first place. Both of them are always willing to jump to the worst case scenario (which, given who they’re dealing with, fair enough), so I’m sure the resulting miscommunication would be both extremely entertaining and highly likely to lead to city-wide destruction.
27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?
Does New 52 Riddler even have friends? He and Scarecrow claim to have respect for each other in Detective Comics ft. Scarecrow #23.3, but it’s in the context of Scarecrow lying and manipulating all the rogues in the lead up to Forever Evil, and it comes about three panels after Riddler passive aggressively mocks Jonathan’s childhood trauma at the hands of his “daddy.” (Rude, Edward. Rude and gross.)
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If they are friends, then the reasons why Riddler dating Scarecrow’s arch nemesis would annoy Jonathan are pretty self-explanatory. Also Edward is clearly the kind of person who would taunt the rest of the Arkhamites with any privileges earned/information gleaned from getting closer to the Bat. When I was younger my mother would always warn me not to waste emotional energy on girls who ditch their friends to prioritize their relationship as soon as they get a new boyfriend. Well, Riddler is that girl.
Bruce’s friends and family obviously also have nearly infinite reasons to be annoyed with Bruce for dating a supervillain (shoutout to Duke Thomas, who was unfortunate enough to have Riddler’s Zero Year during the most formative time of his childhood), but Barbara Gordon would doubtlessly be more pissed than most. Riddler deciding that he’s in love with Batgirl out of the blue (despite them never having met before?) when he finds out that Batman’s marrying Catwoman was already irritating, but I can only imagine how much MORE annoying it would be in the context of Riddler later hooking up with Batman.
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If Barbara ever found out about them hooking up, she would immediately have war flashbacks to Batman: Prelude to the Wedding pt. 3. She has a great memory so unfortunately she probably has perfect recall of having to spend an entire evening listening to a pre-recorded monologue of Riddler philosophizing about why he’s not bitter that Batman and Catwoman are getting married and how he’s still straight even though he’s never felt lasting attraction to a woman. And then she would rightfully go apeshit.
29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?
Thinking of how this question could possibly be answered from Bruce’s perspective made me laugh out loud, which is probably not a good sign given that I’m 4/5 of the way through writing a ship meme for him and Edward. But Riddler is just. So much in the New 52. Okay, I’m taking it seriously now. WHY DOES HE FALL MORE IN LOVE. Well, the fastest way to Bruce’s heart (other than being an attractive woman with dark hair, green eyes, and ambiguous morals) is to assist him in his crusade against crime. While that doesn’t initially seem like something Edward would do (as we see in Batgirl vs. Riddler, he seems to think the key to romance is “mixtapes”), he does go out of his way to give Bruce information about a Gotham-wide criminal conspiracy in Batman Eternal #39. He doesn’t appreciate that Batman’s current opponent is actively trying to wear him down — he wants to fight the Bat at his best, when he can think clearly. So he gives Bruce information he needs to solve the mystery.
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Edward seems to also be under the impression that this would endear him to Batman, because he gives Batman a series of riddles that lead Bruce right to him so that they can talk in person. And then gets very surprised when Bruce subsequently arrests him. You’re still a criminal, Edward. This is like the first favor you’ve ever done him. Do it a dozen more times and then MAYBE you’ll start getting the free passes he’s been handing out to Harley and Ivy. But Bruce DOES save him from an avalanche after this, even though in the past Bruce has left him to die out of apathy (The War of Jokes and Riddles) or actively tried to kill him (also The War of Jokes and Riddles). So Edward IS winning him over, just very, very slowly.
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Riddler pretty obviously just enjoys having someone to talk to that he feels is “on his level.” Even though he’s already arranged for Bruce Wayne’s assassination by the first time they meet in Batman #39, he obviously enjoys conversing with someone who can and will unravel his riddles and double meanings, to the point that afterwards he musingly wishes that they’d have an opportunity to talk again. Obviously they do, but it’s no thanks to Riddler. You can just NOT assassinate someone if you think they’re hot, Edward.
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It’s what seemingly endears him to Batman too (at least, until Bruce ruins the mood by calling him an attention whore in front of all of Gotham). Though it’s basically always bad news for him, Edward clearly enjoys any time that Bruce or Batman exhibits his intelligence. 
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popculturebuffet · 4 years
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Ducktales Della Arc Reviews: The Great Dime Chase!
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Welcome back all you happy people, to my look at the series first arc! I covered the pilot last week and this week i’m going full speed ahead with two more review for this arc, one more for the Lena arc all leading up to BOTH finsihing up next week for DUCK WEEK, my huge celebration of the final episode of Ducktales 2017. So with all that in mind when we last left off the kids moved in, webby gained friends, Donald and Scrooge made the first steps to patching up.. and Dewey found out his mom was also invovled with their adventures setting this arc off. 
This is also where the airing order reshuffling started as this episode was pushed up by two replacing impossible summit as the third episode... and where said order reshuffling for both this arc and the Lena arc really bit Disney in the ass by giving fans the wrong idea about the series pacing. See the original idea was to have a few episodes as a buffer, since this arc itself is only about 5 episodes long, so the pacing would be more spread out and fans while likely getting impatient for the della mystery to be resolved, would expect it to take about that long after a while. The same was clearly planned for the Lena arc. 
The problem is Disney didn’t give one shit about proper airing order, story pacing or any of that at the time despite their most popular show at said time having the same pacing structure and having been aired in the right order. So as a result and as most of you already know, season 1′s structure was a mess: The globetrotting adventure episodes were off ballance with ones set in Duckburg itself, Scrooge sometimes felt like a supporitng character in the first half due to his two focus episodes being crunched to the back for holidays... it was bad. And it was worst here as by having both the Della and Lena arcs progress pretty quickly in the first 6.. it was thus jarring and grating that there was zero progress for either in the rest of the first half, and they had to move the spear of selene up a few episodes when they came back just to make up for it.. which still messed with pacing as that arc wouldn’t be picked up until the final three episodes solving nothing. This made fans blame the creators for sloppy pacing and for taking too long to get to the Della thing when they’d done nothing wrong and HAD staggered it out. It wasn’t till Frank later revealed the order was a bit bungled we got the message and until a few months into the series being on Disney Plus we got a proper order for the series. And again, the arc has pacing issues we’ll get to without this.. but they were made so much work by Disney blatantly disrespecting and ingoring their creative team. 
I will give credit where it’s due though: Disney learned from it. While Season 2 had a few episodes shuffled around, this time it was due to trying out that binge airing strategy they were doing to get shows on Disney Plus faster, airing DuckBombs (Woo-Ooo!) frequently, so they wanted the airing to flow properly with that without screwing up the flow fo the season more than they absolutely had to. They were being careful and delberate this time not to make the same mistake and with season 3, they simply havent’ shuffled the airing order at all> The only two episodes aired out of order were holiday episodes purposefully made to air at the right time and detached from the season as a whole. This stretches to other shows too: Amphibia is two seasons in and Owl House got through it’s whole season with at worst minimal changes to the airing lineup and the arcs all being properly spaced and aired as intended. I give Disney a lot of shit, rightfully so, but I will give them all the credit when they learn from their mistakes and they REALLY did here, learning to trust their creators to know when to actually make an episode and simply having them set aside holiday episodes if they want one. 
Otherwise not a lot of lead in for this one: It introduces a bunch of the supporting cast, reintroduces the board in full, and in general is a pretty good episode. Find out why under the cut. 
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We open with the introduction of the shows go to Show Within a Show Ottoman Empire. And what I’d forgotten was Louie wasn’t always into it but there’s a subtle arc to it: he gets into it, slowly obesses over it, by the end of the season he’s got his brothers into it, it’s not a huge thing but it’s a little detail I can’t help but enjoy a hell of a lot.  But him not liking it is part of a larger problem Scrooge has picked up on: Louie’s laziness has reached godlike new levels: he’s opened about 7 cans of PEP! and only taken a sip from each, won’t change the channel because the remote, which is right next to him and would only take him hopping slightly to the left to get to it or incnching over a bit is “too far”. Scrooge finally blows up at the sight when Louie tosses his phone away for not being charged and assumes he can get another one because “We’re rich”. Scrooge corrects him “I”m rich!” and then drags him off by the hoodie with him to the office so he’ll learn the value of a hard day’s work. And really.. the scene is a good showcase for Scrooge: Louie is acting like the embodiment of all deadbeats and Scrooge is still VERY patient with the boy until it’s very clear he needs a wakeup call. Given Scrooge has a temper on the best of occasions it really shows he’s trying with the boys, and only really snapped when it was clear Louie NEEDED someone to snap at him and snap him out of his bullshit. 
Meanwhile Dewey sneaks into Webby’s room to read her secret file on the McDuck family only to LITERALLY be caught red handed as she put glitter on her outside.. because it looks pretty. And as a security measure. Given she lives with a trained spy who likely has riffled through her stuff at least once, or would at least solely try to check her files just to make sure their secure, and lives in a place that gets broken into or nearly blown up, both by Glomgold, on a regular basis, i’d expect no less. But she also points out the obvious once he explains he’s looking for information on his family: He could’ve just asked. As we saw back in Woo-ooo! like yours truly webby will gladly go on about things she’s obsessed about at the drop of a hat and has likely been dying for someone to share her vast conspiracy board with. As for why he didn’t do the obvious, keep in mind he doesn’t know Webby well this point, so he dosen’t know what questions he asked might set her off and also doesn’t know WHY his uncles don’t talk about her, so he’s being cautious and it’s a nice foreshadowing for his secret keeping throughout the arc.. and how it’s an inherently dumb and selfish idea that only slows down his investigation. 
So naturally given the sequel hook at the end of the pilot, he asks about Della. And after drawing the curtains and making sure Scrooge isn’t around to listen Webby asks what HE knows. Naturally given this is a whole story arc he only knows what she looks like from an old photo of her dunking donald’s head in his birthday cake, and Webby.. knows even less. No one talks about Della and the last time anyone did, a mailmain brought some junk mail with her name on it, Scrooge bought out the post office and they never saw that mail man again. Webby naturally thinks Scrooge murdered him... and while I don’t think he went THAT far, I pity that poor shcmoe and whatever ice floe he’s been banished to. And not a small villiage in the arctic mind you like an actual ice floe scrooge left him on with a lifetimes suply of beans.
 This also admittedly answers a question i’ve been griping about for some time that turns out had a logical answer: I thought he’d somehow wiped her out from public record and the internet and then magically put her back. I was wrong and simply hadn’t rewatched this episode and connected the dots. He likely didn’t do.. any of that, but the triplets likely never thought to internet search her with Donald because as far as they knew Donald was an average person, and thus their mom would be too and looking her up wouldn’t tell her anything about them. It still leaves the plot hole of how they knew about Scrooge and not the Della search, I have no answer for that one, but hey sometimes these things happen and it’s a good enough show I can ignore it. Point is they had no reason to research her before then and Donald likely went out of his way to hide anything about her when they visited places.  Likewise Scrooge was likely so miserable and consumed with his search, and once that was called off his failure, he likely pulled every archive and artifact for his own personal collection to pour over them in sadness and loss and simply put most of it back into the public once the boys helped him heal by the end of the season and the truth was out there. Likewise while the internet info was likely there after this episode too Dewey, as foolish as he can be, likely wasn’t stupid enough to look up his mom’s name on his uncle’s wifi. While Scrooge likely isn’t tech savy, given how paranoid he is and how much of a sore spot this is, it’s not a stretch to have him ask gyro to monitor his wifi for certain key words. So yeah i’ll admit when I was wrong and there was a logical explanation, if still with some holes, all along.
Anyways Webby has one place she hasnt’ been able to get into that might have the answers: Scrooge’s Personal Archives. And as it turns out, both parties are heading to the bin: Scrooge since, much like the comics, that’s where his office is, and Webby and Dewey for the same reason The bin being Scrooge’s buisness center, where his office is where he has meetings where a lot of his emoployees are is very accurate to the comics, as while the layout was never entirely consient apart from “Scrooge’s office is the only way in and out of the bin itself” and said office having a very consistent and iconic look that the series didn’t change. But as we’ll see they added two extra parts to it that in the comics scrooge would Balk at the expense of but this scrooge, whiel still probably not happy about the extra money, knows are vitally necessary. 
Speaking of which the plot splits in two pretty cleanly once we actually get to the bin: Scrooge has no real issue with the kids going to the archives and no glimmer of their real intention, so the plots don't’ meet up again outside of when Louie’s literally crashes into Dewey and Webby’s for a second. There’s some thematic connections, cutaways and an intercut montage, but nothing outside of that. So as is tradition for me i’m covering them seperatly and since it’s both the reason why i’m covering this episode and our B-Plot, let’s start with the archives Webby and Dewey in The Mad Archivist of Scrooge McDuck!
Webby and Dewey head to the archive where we meet Quackfaster. In the comics she’s scrooges long suffering secretary, emphasis on suffering. He barely pays her, takes expenses out of her paycheck and she generally seems once minute away from a nervous breakdown at any given time. What i’m saying is the character and the “gag” have not aged well in any way shape or form so instead here she was revamped. Frank and Matt leaned on Scrooge’s love for adventure more than his greed at first, and had his thrill-seeking be his vice more. It does make sense as greed isn’t nearly as good as it was to people in the 40′s and especially the 80′s, but they eventually clearly realized they made it a bit too subtle, as it’s still an iconic part of the character and played it up a bit more in seasons 2 and 3, to the point two of his worst moments in backstory, both revealed in season 3, come from his greed. They found a nice ballance and I do think having his adventuring also be a vice was a nice change of  pace.  As such, they came up with the idea that he’d hire people who like him are exceptionally talented but also a bit reckless and unhinged. The kind of people most employers would unfairly shut the door on but Scrooge sees their true talent and worth and treats them with the respect they deserve. People who in most other works would be super villains, but here are kept from that by being given honest jobs for their talents and a boss who has no intention of ripping them off or undermining them. IT’s a great concept and I wish we’d saw more than two people hired with that in mind, but the two we got are great.
So with all this Quackfaster was reinvented with this idea in mind to someone entirely different but infinitely more entertaining: She’s now a ham of the highest order, not literally, and slightly unballanced. She also refuses to help Dewey until he completes some challenges for her, sorting out a code in the dewey decimel system
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And in sorting the books to get to know the archives. Webby is all for it naturally as this is a dream for her: she’s likely tried to access the place for years and couldn’t as a non-relative, something Scrooge hopefully relaxes in the future, so a giant pile of books about adventuring, Scrooge (including an apparently 7 volumes on his favorite smells one of which Webby gives a happy “I knew it” upon finding out it was fresh baked cookies), and places he’s been, including a sly nod to Plain Awful. This is a hallmark of the show making smaller nods to the past incarnations without going into them or doing those adventures again and while I was at first disappointed those tales already happened in some form, I now get they simply wanted to tell NEW ONES, and were a big as fan of the olds ones as most of you reading this and myself. Though between you and me I was never a big fan of the square eggs story. Good idea just a weird and not all that funny execution. 
Dewey however has the patience of a coked up ferret who also took some shrooms and being Dewey tries simply demanding she tell him. Naturally yelling at the weird hammy lady intrusted to guard the private library of someone whose a certified badass.. is not a smart or correct move and Quackfaster decides if they can’t respect the archives they’ll become PART OF THE ARCHIVES and pulls out a crescent shaped sword to apparently murder them. 
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So a chase ensues with the two trying to simply throw books at her, escape her and only narrowly doing so for a minute when Louie pops up being chased by a giant robot made by a smaller robot using a giant change machine. I love this show. 
Eventually their backed into a corner while Dewey defiantly demands info on his mom. And his impatience and anger is understandable: this is the first time in his ten or so year old life he’s had ANY chance of learning anything on her.. and he’s having to do various fetch quests. While he could use some tact, may not get him stabbed so much, his viewpoint is understandable. 
Thankfully it turns out Quackfaster was just doing a Mr.Miaygi and secretly testing them, having chased them to the book Dewey wanted, and said code she had them find earlier is the login for the vault. Granted it also has them put away some books (”How much of this is us just doing your job for you?” “About fiffttty perceeennnt”), but she works for scrooge. While he thankfully pays her a living wage here he still can’t be paying her much. Still they find their way to a secret vault and Dewey gets stabbed a bit to verify he is a mcduck.. and let into Scrooge’s secret room, full of treasures Della likely gathered. As I said, he DID put them aside somewhere, and likely just wanted them to cry over and donald didn’t fight it since the last thing he wanted was the boys learning their legacy. D
The telling part here though, despite accusations later.. is that Dewey’s first instinct upon finding this is  to tell his brothers.  Keep in mind Dewey’s all consuming need for attention and validiation, all of which he could possibly get and only have to share with Webby. He has every selfish reason for not telling them.. but he wants to. He knows they deserve to learn to. The only wrinkle is webby finding a note saying “Scrooge i’m taking the spear of selene, i’m sorry”. He decides to hide it for their sake right then and there. But while part of this as we’ll get into later in the week is him simply being afraid of what he’ll find personally.. it’s fair to NOT want to tell them. To try and protect them from the horrible truth whatever it may be. He has no way of knowing the betryal was nonexistant here and neither did we. It’s not the right course of action, awful truth or no they deserved to know too and both would say as much later, she’s their mom: good person or bad they know.. but like his uncles he’s not hiding this out of malice but because the truth might genuinely hurt them.. and as we’ll learn.. it will.. oh boy will it ever. But more on that next week and more on the arc itself later this week. What about the rest of the episode?
Louie in The Great Dime Chase! and Scrooge in The Boardroom Full of Heartless Assholes!
Winding back a few hours, Scrooge drags Louie up to his office, where the boy is genuinely impressed.. before naturally trying to take a swim in the money while Scrooge tries to tell him about his number one dime. Scrooge stops him before head injury occurs explaining that yes, even the money thing requires proper training: Louie would’ve just cracked his skull open and this would’ve either gotten really dark really fast or turned into a horrifying and hilarious child death version of weekend at bernies. It’s what Louie would’ve wanted. Scrooge can do it because he’s built up the muscle and resistance over time, strong enough and skilled enough to travel through the solid metal and dive into it. It’s a nice nod to life and times: While Scrooge didn’t necesarily train to swim in money, he bathed in it at first and when he needed to during an adventure discovered he could swim through it going from one barrel of his cash to another. So tweaking that slightly to an earned skill, and one Louie will have leanred by the end of the season, was a billiant move..and a way of silencing all those head injury jokes. 
But their soon interrupted by the board, who Scrooge dosen’t recall having a meeting with and likely pull this kind of shit all the time when they can get Scrooge. It makes even more sense after the Della reveal, as he likely has to be forced into dealing with the men who, while as far as he knew were trying to help him, still pulled him away from Della.. and in one case, had a shit eating grin about it. Seriously Bradford you smirked evilly about your nemesis not being able to rescue his daughter how do you NOT get that your the bad guy?
The meeting ends up being boring with Louie asleep and Scrooge almost there, as let’s face it most board meetings probably are, until Gyro barges in! It’s our first apperance of 2017 Gyro and a lot of people were upset by how much more of an ass he was. Me, while I like the kind and gentle original, like the more mad sciency version here and feel Jim Rash did a good job with it, and  I only really hate it when he’s around Fenton, and the show eventually addressed how fucked up that was in Season 3 after downplaying it in Season 2 by having them barely interact and have Gyro genuienly show some pride. Otherwise I like my insane prideful version even if I get why some don’t like it as it is nothing like the comics, but as we see with Donald not being a lot like the comics version isn’t a bad thing. 
IT’s one hell of a character establishing moment, as he barges in, is rude to everyone and has to read cue cards to properly intro his latest invention Little Bulb, Gyro’s most iconic invention whose made here to help people not do work. The Board is skeptical though as most of Gyro’s inventions have turned evil, a nice nod to the fact that most of Gyro’s robots in the original series, who are in fact on a list of previous inventions.. turned evil and tried to kill people. IT also shows his warmer side as he insists they aren’t evil just misunderstood, or at least half were anyway, and tries to cover for Little Bulb shaking his fist at them and doing a throat slitting gesture... which while Bradford plays dumb about what that means.. he’s worked in organized Villainy for at least 55 years. He knows what that gesture means. It’s Heron’s favorite. And even if he didn’t he’s also worked with Scrooge for around 30. It’s also Scrooge’s favorite. So it’s rejected though Scrooge encourages Gyro who vows they’ll understand one day and they’ll all pay. Really should save that for outside. 
Scrooge vouches for the board to Louie who questions such a slam dunk, pointing out he trusts their judgment.. mostly because he dosen’t know they’ve been embezzling from him to fund an evil spy orginzation the whole time but still, he usually trusts them. He would’ve found a way to fire them if he didn’t on the Della thing. But sometimes they overstep and they undermine that statment by suggesting cuts to the Bin’s budget, starting with Magical defenses “Do you know how many curses I have on my head?”. And props to the creators as they apparnetly had the whole Bombie idea in mind this far back, and as Bradford later shows towards the end of next season when he lures Louie into cutting it, he KNOWS where that money goes. He just was trying to feign ignorance to get Scrooge killed if he could. Clever bastard. 
So Louie goes to get a drink, and naturally scrooge’s drink machine in his office not only charges but requires an extra ten cents. Louie assumes the dime in his office is an emergency Dime only to walk in on Scrooge giving the full story. As you all likely know, it’s his number one dime, with the origin taken straight from life and times: He was a poor shoe shine, and he worked hard to clean off a ditchdigger’s muddy boots, working himself to the bone.. only to get an American dime which inspired him both to work harder and smarter than anyone and to go to America to seek his fourtune. There’s some extra steps in the original material, and another bit that the show would also adapt later that we’ll get to next week, but point is it’s his symbol of all his hard work.. that Louie just sent into the vending machine.  So said great chase insures as Louie follows the dime, as it’s emptied from the vending machine.. by a gull janitor we only see this season. And he’s a really likeable guy I wish we’d learned more. He then faces his and Charles Xavier’s greatest enemy THE STAIRS. There’s a runner about Louie having to constnatly run up and down the massive amount of stairs the bin has as someone else takes the elevator and by the climax it’s been taken out entirely. It’s pretty great.  So Louie’s seemingly screwed and instead looks up how to pick a lock on YouTube.. no really. That’s what he does. Frank outright mentioned this in an interview, pointing out they wanted the kids to act like a kid would.. and props to him that’s what a kid would do. Hell that’s what I would do if I were locked out of a place and time was of the essence. Either that or look up a step by step instruction on google. He then runs into Gyro though, and gets the idea to use LIttle Bulb, convinces Gyro he has money and would like to invest and just needs to borrow the little guy and Gyro is happy to agree to it. 
Naturally though, Louie’s laziness and a volatile machine who only likes one people just like his daddy, do not mix and Louie leaves sorting the coins to it while he watches Ottoman Empire, actually getting really sucked into it. IN fairness he did start with the Glomgold episode. Little Bulb meanwhile shows just how awesome he is by turning himself into a giant coni sorting mech by rewiring and reconfiguring the coin sorter.. and naturally given who made hi going mad with power. So while he did get the dime out.. he’s not horrifyingly obessed with chasing it and the real great dime chase begins. 
Back at the meeting Scrooge continues to debate the Buzzards who now want to cut staff, both of whom Scrooge rightfully defends. While Gyro is a bit unhinged, his inventions have likely made the company millions and saved them billions, and while Quackfaster is the same as we just saw, there’s a method to her madness and her laziness. And given Quackfaster works two additional jobs to afford a nice retirement, it’s clear that while he pays them decently he’s likely still not paying them gobs. With the power of hindsight i’ts very clear Bradford just wants to try if he can to eliminate two sources of chaos and backup for Scrooge and when Scrooge sarcastically suggests just getting rid of the bin, Bradford goes with it with a shit eating grin, but it’s very clear by that and Scrooge’s frustration this is a non starter, and Bradford’s likely doing it just because he frankly knows it’ll piss Scrooge off. 
So Louie runs for it working harder than he has in his whole life, with Gyro eventually trying to talk little bulb down, to no avail.. though we do get a nice moment of it registering him as father. Awwww. So the chase naturally eventually leads to the bin and Louie stuck in it, slowly swimming across, until Gyro gets to LIl Bulb, and realizes he’s in the wrong time of wattage and has literally gone mad with power and puts him back in his tiny old body fixing the problem. Gyro also crashed in with the bulb mech earlier, and while it disproves Scrooge’s point he’s stable.. he simply rolls with it and points out his staff is dangerously insane, and would likely swear vengeance on the Board if they were fired. And while he dosen’t say this part of it directly given Scrooge treats BOTH Quackfaster and Gyro exceptionally well, he knows they’ll know EXACTLY whose idea it was.. probably even tell them. So the board agrees to keep things as is to not die horribly as supervillains or not they have limits. 
So the day is one, Louie finds the dime, replaces it and passes out with Scrooge none the wiser. it also turns out the Dime isn’t even the real deal, to Louie’s frustration. But Scrooge is proud he clearly worked hard, and gives him the fake dime as his own number one dime, a nice setup for their bond and a nice showing that Louie really has the potential to be as rich as his uncle one day, and it’s clear by this setup there was a lot of potential here for an arc.. which is why we got one. More on that some other time. Louie accidently spends it while Gyro ends realizing if he put himself int he robot it wouldn’t go mad with power.. and thus Project Blatherskite is born. And we all know where this is going. 
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Final Thoughts: All in all a decent episode. It has great pacing, some excellent world building, and some really good gags. While the series would do better episodes as it went, for an early episode helping set things up including Louie’s charcter arc, Gyro, Gizmoduck and the board as proper characters, it’s still very good and one of the series early standouts. 
Next Time on Della: Donald is forced to confront his adventuring past when he runs into his old sorta friend THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES, Scrooge is forced into games of the gods by their resident Douchebag Zeus, and Dewey is forced to confront his own fear of whatever it is his mom did. Confront this review later this week. 
Next Time on This Blog: It’s Lena’s Dark Night of the Soul as she and Webby head into “The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck!” 
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ephemeraltea · 4 years
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TRC is my first and only serious fandom, so I have a Tumblr noob question. Could you explain to me what the hell was the deal with Superwholock. I read a Tumblr post about how those folks had been rightly shamed off Tumblr, which they 'totally deserved' apparently. I can't quite wrap my head around how the crossover of those shows got to be so massive, but why did that fandom get everyone's knickers in a twist?
hoooo okay, so full disclosure, i’ve been on tumblr in some capacity since like. june of 2012. i’d just graduated high school, got my wisdom teeth removed the following monday, and in my recovery was spending a lot of time on the young justice tv show (my gateway to comics) and homestuck (which i never got through).
it sure was a time in my life.
at this time, i was a big fan of Doctor Who and a critical but admiring fan of Supernatural, and periodically obsessed with Sherlock. i was one of those people who found the big pile-on-the-fandoms-and-see-what-sticks hugely amusing and not at all cringey. bear in mind, i was eighteen and this was my first internet community not centered around roleplay with fellow fourteen-year-olds. i was baby. i was learning.
(to be clear: i’m not ashamed that i was a superwholockian. i was, for a few years. now it’s just kind of a thing that i did in my past that neither terrible nor wonderful, like the spring i tried to do track pole vaulting. it didn’t work out, move on.)
i think.... i think a lot people were unused to being able to talk about fan stuff so passionately in a semi-public sphere, and when we found people who were as obsessed (or more!) with the same shows, it got really loud and repetitive. echo chamber of young nerds making connections awkwardly. there’s this one tiktok where a guy is saying, “hey, it turns out that history isn’t repeating itself, we just keep getting new fourteen year old kids on the internet.” i think this is a case of that: young, passionate fans piling on top of each other joyfully and not realizing that they are going to be embarrassed as shit in a few years.
of course, some of those people started to get embarrassed faster than others. a lot of those people turned heel really fast and made it their personal journey to ostracize their old club. some of them, like myself, kind of went quietly as they found new fandoms and people to create joy with. and some of them doubled down, but mostly i think those people simply found warmer welcomes in other domains, like probably reddit or facebook or some such. less a matter of shaming on a wide scale, i think, and more just. realizing you’ve got more friends somewhere else, and you’d like to join them there. 
were those fans badly behaved? yeah, kinda, sometimes. but very much in the way that little kids get furious when you tell them their favorite cartoon is dumb. just add on some pretentiousness (i cannot emphasize the fourteen-ness of many fans) and righteous fury, not to mention the desire to be seen as a Hero in your community.
i dunno, man, i think the loudest people calling superwholock dying down as a triumph were probably pat of it at one point and are wildly embarrassed. they don’t need to be - we’re all growing, and as long as you’re prepared to apologize, accept that the people you might have bullied don’t have to forgive you, and genuinely try to be better... that’s all you need.
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askstarwarriorkirby · 3 years
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I need to be honest real quick guys. I just...really need to vent about how I’ve been feeling. My art block has turned into a literal brick wall and I have myself to blame.
I’ve been fighting with myself on what I should be doing and all that. A large part of me keeps saying “you’re a college graduate now, which means all your work HAS to be professional and blah blah blah. You don’t have time for all that silly immature stuff! Yada yada yada.” Sadly that has included this blog. Trust me, I’m fully aware of how dumb and wrong it is, but I’ve just been struggling so much to fight it. To add to that, my perfectionism loves to drag things out and stoke that flame a bit more. I always think “perfect isn’t possible, but you can still be close,” which, again, I’m aware is a load of Bull. I’m not the best at trusting myself or what I think is best. I’ve always been a people-pleaser and it’s lead to a bad mentality of “everything needs to satisfy THEIR needs.” I’ve been going to a therapist, talking to people I trust, and asking for advice on various forums and all have said the same thing: “you don’t have to make everything professional,” “you HAVE the time to do what YOU want to do,” and “nothing HAS to be perfect.” And I believe them. It’s just that when I try to repeat that to MYSELF, it’s like it goes unnoticed. I always been like that and I resent that part of myself a lot. I feel like I’M the only one saying these things to myself and making myself believe everyone else is too. But they AREN’T. It ticks me off and I’m just so tired of it, but I can’t fight back that well. I’m building too many expectations on myself and I’ve only realized I trapped myself and can’t get out on my own. But I still love art and the ideas I’ve been exploring. I’ve been steadily trying to fight against it, but I still feel limited to things outside of this blog. But I WANT to come back. I just don’t know how. I know a lot of people probably don’t pay attention to me anymore because I’ve been gone for so long and I’ve probably disappointed some fans that really like my work. Trust me, I’m disappointed with myself too sometimes. I don’t know why I need to make things so elaborate and complex. I wish I could go back in time and tell younger me to stop trying to be perfect. There was a time when I wasn’t so obsessive over being perfect and I wish I could go back to that. I don’t want to always have a purpose in mind for things. If anyone could help me, even if just a little bit, even just offering some support of any kind, I’d be happy. At this moment I just feel kind of...alone. Like I need some kind of “permission” to do Kirby stuff again and can’t get it from anyone. It’s not right. I’M not right...sorry for the deep stuff. I just needed to say all this.
And don’t worry, I still have ZERO plans to abandon this blog. I still have passion for it, it’s just a matter of fighting myself to reach it.
Edit: something I forgot to add is that I have more reason to return due to advice I got from several people on Reddit. They suggested that in addition to working on more projects rather than spending tons of time on one, I should work on things that exist to make ME happy. Heck with “it’s ALWAYS gotta be PROFESSIONAL.” It’s my life and I can take it at my own pace. Kirby always makes me happy and coming back to this blog is something I want more than anything. But I’m overthinking my comeback plan when I should make it simple. I suck at comics so learning to make them is holding me back a bit. I’m thinking of just doing something simple like a diary or some images. I want to progress this blog’s canon more since it’s been so long. That’s what I’ve been struggling on.
In the words of Patrick Star: “The inner workings of my mind are an enigma.” AKA a complex mass of tangled wires, ADHD, and anxiety that just hate organization. Don’t worry too much about me guys. Life just sucks sometimes.
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Not that anyone asked (but seriously I’d LOVE for someone to talk to me about PokeSpe (just no spoilers past vol 13)) but since I made an offhand remark about my Top 5 favorite characters, it occurred to me that I actually DO have approximately 5 top favorite characters, and I’m procrastinating on work, so I’m gonna ramble
**just in case, note that a lot of this will revolve around my childhood experience with gender in a “I’m AFAB (and present-day me still identifies as a cis girl) but I don’t fit in with what media is telling me girls are like” way, a brief childhood feeling of homophobia, and probably general TMI about my opinions and emotions throughout my life, haha
1. Yellow
Okay, so, I was a little kid when Pokemon Adventures started coming out in English, back when manga was released as single-issue monthly comic books instead of complete volumes.  So I was rereading the same chapters over and over while anxiously awaiting the rest of the story (and wound up missing a bunch of issues anyway)
I enjoyed the RGB arc, I thought it was fun, but I didn’t LOVE the series until Yellow showed up.  At that age my ideal crush was “a cute boy my age who would be nice to me” and Yellow was presented to the reader as a cute boy my age who was sweet and kind and gentle, but also good in a fight, as all shounen protags must be.  Extra bonus points because they had just a few physically weak Pokémon and tried to fight battles in a way that minimized damage to their own and the opponent’s Pokémon, which meant they fought in a particularly smart and clever way.  And I was considered “smart” for being good at school, so being a SMART cute “boy” my age who would be nice to me, Yellow was PERFECT.  I mean, I loved the arc in general because of the clever battles, and the mystery of what had happened to Red, why these people were after Pikachu, why Yellow was so secretive about themself and their mission, etc was really engaging.  But also I adored Yellow as a character and partly in a “I wonder if ‘he’ would like me??” kind of way X’D  So to my tiny child self who didn’t even know it was possible to like-like someone of the same gender (because I hadn’t read Cardcaptor Sakura yet XD ), the reveal that Yellow was a “girl” was devastating—I had to cross out floating hearts on at least one drawing of us holding hands (scandalous!) and, while kind of stunned and shaken for a while, decided that what I’d felt all along was a deep, intense desire to be friends X’D (which probably wasn’t too far from the truth since I was pre-puberty and later turned out to be asexual)
(Also note that I never got the RGB issue that had the chapter where Red helps a little ‘girl’ capture a Rattata—later proven to be Yellow’s backstory—so the gender reveal really came out of nowhere for me.)
But anyways, I still love Yellow as a character for all the above reasons, without the crush aspects because I’m way older than them now.
Also when I reread the series ten years ago, I finally realized “wait, aside from surprising the reader, there’s no real plot reason for Yellow to pretend to be a ‘boy’ except that Green told ‘her’ to—so why did ‘she’ do it?”...and because at that time I didn’t even know that nonbinary genders existed, I decided it was cus they had low self-esteem and pretending to be a different person gave them courage (the same reading I had for Mulan at the time).  These days I’m more inclined to “yeah, I think Yellow’s nonbinary,” but that other interpretation was deeply relatable to me and only made me love Yellow even more.
2. Bill
Bill’s definitely a character I’ve grown to love more as an adult, since I’ve gone from seeing myself as “a protagonist doing cool things” to “a side character just living their life who hopefully gets to do something once in a while.”  But as a kid and now, I like him mostly for the slapstick and goofy expressions and the (early chapters Viz translations) outrageous accent  X’D  My brain desperately craves endorphins and the best way to get em is through a good laugh.
But also, I liked that he was introduced as a goofy character-of-the-week who got into ridiculous trouble and had to be rescued, but then kept being brought back, was slowly built up to be the “smart sidekick who explains things,” and eventually got to the point where he was participating in big battles (the Yellow finale on Cerise Island).  I rambled about this in the tags of another post, but I liked that he was a character who was “weak” without being “useless.”  As a kid who was good at school, I was obsessed with being good at things and had developed a black-and-white view of the world where either you were “strong/smart” or “weak/stupid” to the point that failing or just being not-so-good at anything was devastating (it still kind of is), because that meant I was actually “weak/stupid” when I was supposed to be “strong/smart.”  So it was kind of awesome that this guy who kept getting into trouble and having to be rescued—and didn’t even want to BE part of the final battle—managed to hold his own and get through it and help out instead of being a burden that dragged everyone down.  Seriously, he used a MAGIKARP effectively—the Pokémon everyone makes fun of for being “useless” and he used its one attack to save his life!
(Bonus points for all this happening in contrast to my devastating childhood experience of stanning The One Girl Character in every popular shounen series, waiting desperately for her to get to do something in battle, and then her one spotlight episode revolved around her struggling because she was so weak...not only was that actually happening to a boy for once, it was actually happening in a more satisfying/empowering way :’D )
3. Gold
I have extremely specific tastes when it comes to “the dumb shounen/action movie protag,” because as a kid I hated it when the main character was “dumb” because I was “smart” (re: good at school) and people who were “dumb” shouldn’t deserve to be the main character and have all the cool powers and save the world and stuff.  As an adult, I hate it when male characters are dumb and/or jerks but it’s treated as fine or even sexy(??) and the other characters fawn over them, and I generally still kind of hate it when characters who are dumb and/or jerks get the big important role when there’s a female character RIGHT THERE who’s more competent (and OF COURSE she has to wind up falling in love with him)
But anyway, I have extremely specific tastes, and Gold is it  X’D  He’s the perfect combination of “unshakably confident in his own stupid/egotistic views” and “treated as annoying and/or comic relief by the rest of the cast” with a bonus dash of actually being really clever in battle (so my inner child goes “Ah yes, technically, he is ’smart,’ and therefore...worthwhile“)  Making me laugh while also impressing me is like the key to my heart.
4. Crystal
I’m too lazy to look it up, but when Viz was publishing Pokemon Adventures as monthly comics, they must have switched to publishing it as trade paperbacks only and/or had a huge gap between the end of Yellow and the start of GSC, because for YEARS I’d thought Yellow was the end of the series and was shocked the first time I saw later volumes.  (My dad was buying us the monthly issues at the local comic store, and either they wouldn’t have ordered the trade paperbacks or he wouldn’t have thought to check those shelves.)
Anyway, that’s a long lead-in to the statement of “Crystal would automatically be my #1 or #2 if I’d read her arc as a kid.”  She’s a girl, she wears pants, she’s EXTREMELY smart (genius-level “book-smarts” about every Pokémon’s behaviors and weaknesses PLUS being clever in a battle), was tough as nails (she KICKED her Pokéballs!!), had no interest in romance or her appearance, AND had a short arc about losing her confidence and training herself back up to full power.  I would have KILLED for a character like that when I was a little girl being told that “girls don’t like action shows like Dragon Ball Z” (but I was a girl and I did???) and that girls were supposed to be pretty and obsessed with fashion and dating, and that girls were never the main character of action series, just side characters who either did nothing or got one chance to do something and were pathetically weak (see above, and/or Sakura’s fight against Ino (Naruto), those couple filler eps where Téa/Anzu played Duel Monsters (Yu-Gi-Oh), Videl getting pummeled by Spopovich (DBZ), etc).
So anyway, she’s awesome, she’s exactly the type of character I would’ve loved as a kid.  The only reason she’s behind Gold here is because at my age, “makes me laugh” > “the kind of main character I used to wish I could be”
5. Green (the girl trainer...I’m just too loyal to the Viz version to call her “Blue”...)
I’m trying not to rehash the same “I’m a girl but none of the girls in my shows/comics are like me!” childhood woes over and over, haha, but as much as I always enjoyed Green for being extremely clever and outsmarting the boys and being funny when she did so, she always lost points with me for being “pretty” and flirting to get her way, because that put her in the box of “girls are supposed to be pretty and desired by boys and obsessed with their appearance and romance” that was so foreign and disheartening to me as a kid.
But her staredown with Ho-oh at the end of the GSC arc TOTALLY got me.  As a sad adult with anxiety, watching characters who are absolutely terrified overcome their fear, watching characters who are completely beaten down struggle back to their feet and keep fighting, is like my ultimate power fantasy.  That sequence genuinely had me in tears.
Also her bond with Silver is super precious, especially since that’s like the first time in the series we’ve seen her be genuinely emotional and vulnerable with someone instead of teasing or manipulating them.
Honorable mention: Sapphire
I haven’t gotten up to R/S in my reread yet, and I only read that arc once over like a weekend ten years ago, but I’m pretty sure she’s gonna be a Top Fave cus again there’s that “I'm not like other girls!” childhood feel  (last time I’m saying it, I promise)
It’s a story arc where one protag wants to fight the gyms and the other protag wants to win the beauty contests, but the one who wants to fight the gyms is the girl!!  And she’s the typical “dumb but extremely good at fighting” shounen protag but she’s the girl!!  She’s feral and illiterate and a total tomboy and wins all her fights and she’s a GIRL!!!!
--
Anyway, those are my kids and my dude and my probably way-too-personal reasons why.  If you wanna reblog, reply, or send an ask about your own faves...please
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midshipmank · 4 years
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i wanted LWJ with a motorcycle & somehow ended up with this librarian!LWJ & art student!WWX au
LWJ is a librarian at a public library 
WWX met LWJ when he returned some books 3 months late
LWJ looked at him all judgy like “these are 3 months late,” & WWX promptly became obsessed 
WWX is now a much more responsible library user, mostly because he’s there all the time
but listen he’s not great at focusing in the library, that’s why he doesn’t even use the one on campus. so now he’s his usual amount of restless + distracted by LWJ
trying to figure out how to make a move 
meanwhile LWJ is just like “do not throw crumpled pieces of paper through the air”
some of those crumpled pieces of paper are failed sketches of LWJ
one day WWX stays all the way to closing because LWJ PRETTY OKAY? also he has an art theory paper due pls don’t talk to him about it
so anyway he’s there when the library is closing & LWJ is like “leave”
so he goes :((( but he’s so late LWJ practically follows him out 
which 
is when WWX discovers that that pretty white & blue motorcycle that’s always parked out front?
that’s Lan Wangji’s 
he absolutely loses his mind
all of his friends know about his ridiculous librarian crush by now & they all make fun of him for it
but anyway, the poor boy has it bad
he’s like “A-Cheng, you don’t understand, he could step on me & i’d thank him. actually i think i need him to step on me.” 
JC is like “i did Not want to know that”
meanwhile WWX is bemoaning the fact that he ever became a responsible library user
“how am i supposed to interact with him. i can’t return books late anymore bc i’m always there! what would my excuse be? & he’s already explained how to use their database to me 3 times, i can’t keep looking this dumb” 
JYL is very gently like “maybe just ask him out?” 
“but he doesn’t like me! i committed library crimes! i have to get him to like me first!”
then WWX sees a flyer in the lobby asking for volunteers. there’s gonna be an event in the kids section! for some special reading day! who tf knows, WWX doesn’t care, the point is, he’s good with kids. that would probably be appealing to LWJ. right? right? WWX really doesn’t know. LWJ is so hard to read. on the one hand, he’s the most tight-laced & responsible person WWX has ever met. on the other, he has a very sexy motorcycle. WWX doesn’t know what to do with that
but okay he has a plan
he calls up WQ & goes “can i borrow A-Yuan”
he already babysits A-Yuan every week, so it’s not that weird right?
WQ is like “i stg WWX if you are going to use A-Yuan to attract hot guys like in that movie with the people who love dogs....”
& WWX is like “i would never use A-Yuan like a dog! WQ do you even know me!” 
he gets A-Yuan, barely
anyway, he gets to the library ready to read to a bunch of kids & gets side-eyed by a lot of parents, but he still has fun!!
LWJ is, unfortunately, not the librarian supervising the event, but he is reshelving when WWX is off reading duty & A-Yuan gets the zoomies
ie, zooms right into LWJ’s legs
LWJ is, surprisingly, good with kids. WWX may need to marry him. he somehow manages not to make a complete fool of himself after this revelation
in fact, after this interaction, WWX thinks he may actually have scored some points with LWJ. he’s elated
he’s building all these elaborate future schemes in his head when suddenly he gets a call from Auntie Yu
she wants to know why his grade in his art theory class has plummeted. 
oh right. that class. that class that’s taught by that professor who hates him & that he honestly can’t understand a word of & honestly he hates art theory, he’s good at art, why does he have to take theory too? 
Auntie Yu lets him know in no uncertain terms that if he doesn’t improve his grades by the end of the semester, she will stop supporting him—it’s bad enough that they let him go to art school after he flunked out of his business degree anyway 
so—fuck. fuck. 
WWX throws himself into the redo paper he manages to beg off LQR. he has 3 days & he’s gonna make them count 
the first day goes well, if by well you mean that he raids the art section of the library & works himself until closing & tries desperately not to look like he’s dying in front of LWJ
day 2 goes........similarly, except he falls asleep at his desk & doesn’t wake up until LWJ tells him the library is closing, which? wtf? LWJ usually wakes him up when he falls asleep in the library. WWX has been asleep for hours. 
& also he looks like a wreck, which is not cute
he flees from the library only to find that the bus is going..... going......... gone
fuck. he doesn’t have a car. 
he’s staring down the road after the bus, trying to figure out which friend with a car is available for him to call when he hears someone say “Wei Ying?” behind him
it’s Lan Zhan.
how mortifying. 
he tries to laugh off his situation, but LWJ gets this set expression on his face & says, “i will give you a ride home” 
& WWX is like kinda definitely freaking out because this was not how his first ride on LWJ’s sexy motorcycle was supposed to go. WWX had a plan. he was supposed to be flirtatious & ask LWJ about his bike & then LWJ would offer to give WWX a ride & they’d go all around the scenic parts of the city & when they stopped WWX would be all flustered & breathless & he’d wobble getting off the bike & maybe fall into LWJ & maybe—
okay so his plan was more like a daydream, but at the very least, he wasn’t supposed to look like he’d spent the last 48hrs out of the sun, drinking unhealthy amounts of shitty coffee, wearing a ratty hoodie & art-grimed jeans. like, they’re not even grimey in a cute way
but LWJ is insistent & WWX is weak, so somehow he ends up on the back of the bike wearing LWJ’s helmet with LWJ telling him to hold on tight
he’s half-convinced he’s fallen asleep on the bus stop bench & is dreaming the whole thing
but soon enough, it’s over & they’re stopped outside of WWX’s shitty student accommodations
he gets off & is trying to awkwardly thank LWJ when LWJ says, “you’ve seemed upset these past 2 days”
“ahaha, yeah, i’m just writing a paper”
“for an art theory class?”
WWX is like ????? but then he remembers that LWJ knows what books he checks out 
“yeah. it’s a redo actually. professor Lan hates me.” he forces a laugh. why did he say that. being hated by a professor is not cute, especially not to sexy librarian LWJ. 
“my uncle has high expectations,” LWJ says. 
WWX brain short circuits. 
“your uncle???” shit shit shit Lan Qiren is LWJ’s uncle! LWJ’s uncle hates him! he has no chance now! 
“mn.” 
WWX wants to die
LWJ looks considering, then says, “it is my day off tomorrow. if you would like, i can help you with the paper.”
WWX is already the least cute, most pathetic version of himself he’s ever been in his life. he says yes. 
so they meet up at the library the next day & WWX apologizes profusely for making LWJ come into work when it’s his day off. he promises LWJ endless free coffee from the coffeeshop he works at (even if he has to pay for it himself—he doesn’t tell LWJ that part). 
LWJ is way too nice to him & also manages to explain this school of art theory in a way that?? sort of?? makes sense?? though not in a way that makes WWX like it. but LWJ seems neutral about it, so at least he’s not trying to get WWX to agree with it. 
but anyway, WWX manages to pull a passable paper together & in the process LWJ reveals that he’s noticed WWX sketching in the library a lot more than WWX realized, and that he likes WWX’s art. 
WWX is lightheaded
he stares at LWJ for a while & LWJ looks at him & says, “Wei Ying. you should be typing.” 
WWX gets the paper done by 5pm somehow. somehow! he sends it off to LQR with a groan of relief. he’s so tired his bones are aching, but he looks over at LWJ, art theory & citation king, who of course always looks perfect & beautiful, & goes, “i could kiss you.” 
instead of “i don’t know how i’m ever going to thank you for this,” which is what he thought he was gonna say
LWJ’s eyes widen slightly & his ears go red. WWX wants to smack himself in the face. he wants to eat his words. he wants to crawl into a cramped dark place like a disgusting little mole & never see the sun again.
then LWJ says, “have dinner with me first.” 
WWX gapes at him. LWJ looks back, ears still red but eyes steady. 
“okay,” WWX squeaks. 
they go to dinner. WWX still feels like trash, but they end up having a rousing discussion about art & WWX learns all about when LWJ studied art history in undergrad & how he actually doesn’t like the kind of theory his uncle teaches (“but you’re too good to ever tell him that,” WWX teases. “....most of the time.” WWX laughs in delight.) 
LWJ reveals that he brought an extra helmet today, in case WWX needed a ride again. WWX is embarrassed & pleased & wants to marry LWJ again. feeling foolish, he leans into LWJ flirtatiously & suggests they go for a ride—just for the view. LWJ looks at him so long his knees turn to jelly. then LWJ says, “mn.” 
they make out on some scenic ridge somewhere
the end! 
other things about this au:
WWX does digital painting mostly, his ideal job is illustration/comics; he has a instagram/patreon he uses for art commissions (some of which are pornographic—LWJ catches him sketching in the library one day, early in this tableau. it does not go well.) 
his instagram/patreon is mostly anonymous. it’s not that he minds people knowing he draws explicit stuff sometimes, it’s that he doesn’t want Auntie Yu to find out 
he draws LWJ a lot
not explicitly
(at least not until he’s got a life model and LWJ’s consent)
he’s not at the library 24/7. he has a coffeeshop job, classes, studio time for non-digital art, A-Yuan, and friends. but he’s at the library a lot.
this is undergrad for WWX, but he’s non-trad. he flunked out of a soul-sucking business degree in his first go at undergrad & was on pretty shaky ground with the Jiang family for a while. then he sold some of his art & Auntie Yu said they would support him through art school if it was the only thing he was good at. kinda stung, but at least he doesn’t have to pay tuition.
he’s desperate to prove he can make it as an artist
when anyone asks LWJ about his bike, he says he got it because it allows him to weave around traffic. yes, there’s more to it than that, but no he won’t go into it. (this entire au formed because i found out WYB rides motorcycles professionally & went, “wow that’s hot.” we have no thoughts here.) 
WWX did not have to try to make LWJ like him. LWJ liked him. & while WWX might not have gotten his ideal first bike ride, you better believe LWJ got his. he daydreams about scooping WWX onto his bike & riding off into the sunset
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opalai-pixel-witch · 3 years
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Hiiiiiii!!!! ^^
Helloooooo! ^____^ I’m all right, I hope you’re doing well too!
–For now, yes! I sent a project and they finally accepted it! :D
Hmm, that does make more sense :o Although…Pesto skating could potentially be super cool >u>
–If it was up to me, Pesto would be great all over XD
I have doubts about that, because unlike the others, she has a clear passion: playing the bass
One of my headcannons for Pesto is that she has anxiety, so I think that fits in well with her ^_^ You might also recall the Bear Death chase sequence in the game: “There are fates worse than death, Bjoharn! Like unimaginable pain or going far far away for a long long time! You don’t wanna risk it!”
–Ja ja ja , that part seemed funny to me until she leaves me saying: Good luck getting mauled!
And me like: EY! HELP MEEEEE!!! D:
And yes, she fears that, but she exaggerates saying that she is going to die, after all, her minor wounds heal very quickly
I imagine her grabbing Death’s head, covering his eyes without noticing it, telling him to slow down cuz they are going to die
Death like: P, we’re already dead but we’re going to crash if you don’t let me see THE WAY!!!
Oh yeah, that’s the reason why I’ve been avoiding dA lately =A= Eclipse is the most inconvenient, hideous, and just absolutely horrid website design I’ve ever had the unfortunate displeasure of experiencing in my life. But they don’t even censor NSFW stuff anymore? What a complete mess >:| I only go there for this one webcomic I follow nowadays :P
–I don’t use DA as before, I would say it’s currently deserted; I check fanarts from time to time and also read some web comics too, also I read some comics in Webtoons ;)
Speaking about DA:
https://sta.sh/22aj2xyaqwj3?edit=1
;)
…OH HOLY GOSH DARN!! I love love love love love that picture of Milky and co.!!!! ♡♡♡♡ I’m guessing the lady behind him is Bat-Dung? And I wonder what Salmon Guy’s doing there o.o But oh my gosh Milkyyyy…pardon me, I’m in love |D
–I’m glad you liked them, and yes, I wanted almost the whole team, so I invented an image for Bat-Dug based on her voice and on the fact she investigate the paranormal, also what role she could play in the team: I assigned her to provides weapons and special equipment to her mates, and repairs technology ;)
I would have put Red Eye, but my story takes place after the events of MS and HH
And Salmon guy is there because Milky and company went after him (I’m still writing this story, it’s harder than I thought, I usually don’t write stories) ^^;
I just figured that Bjørn would probably be more used to writing in runes, or maybe did it as an inside joke o: I don’t think Pesto knows how to read it, but she didn’t really need to in order to know the gift was for her—but later on she might see the tag with the runes and be all faux-annoyed like “Bjoharn you cheeky little—“ |D
–“Bjoharn you cheeky little—“ *insert wheze meme* X,D
I’m imagining that scene from the simpsons where Flanders leaves Homer and Co at his summer house and  left them little notes everywhere, but with Bjorn and Pesto instead.
Pesto would be like: To hell with this! >:v
XD
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Heya!! I’m so sorry it took me a while to get to this message, college and real life stuff has been kicking my ass ;;_;; I’m glad to hear that things are going well for you!!
I mean...isn’t she? |D Jokes aside I agree with you, since the only talk of skating she’d done in the game was casually acknowledging the others’ obsession with it :P Still, I am super tempted to draw Pesto skating at some point >.>
That part always makes me nervous ;A; Pesto, I’ll never forgive you if you leave my son to die!! >:| (...let’s just...ignore the fact that he’s already dead...)
That reminds me of a weird headcannon I’ve been thinking about—I feel like with her being in charge of diseases and stuff, she has the power to remove an illness along with her ability to inflict it :o Maybe I’m just being dumb, but I thought it’d be cool...and yeah, I can totally picture that |D I dunno if I’d label the horsemen as dead though, I think they’re just some weird immortal entities :P
If dA is becoming deserted now, that only means their Eclipse scheme has failed =A= I wonder how long they’ve been banging their heads against the wall in regret...I’ve also been looking at comics on Webtoons lately, my favorite one there is probably Clinic of Horrors :o
Your new drawings are (as always) sooo cool!!!! O.O War looks super badass, and the one with Death casually approaching Sam is funny |D I also love the comic with his dad and Cobbles, the “you will have to believe me” line made me lose it >o>
I see o: I can definitely picture her as the weapons-handler of the group! Odd thing, though—I don’t think Milky actually had any weapons in the game...unless his pockets are somehow bottomless and he keeps them in there :P I can also see the motivation for them going after Salmon Guy—after all, he has encountered one of the horsemen firsthand! The best witness for them would be Sam with all his new info, but of course because he’s the ultimate rich kid it would be super difficult for them to get to him |D
Haha yeah, Pesto would have to go to that Valhyr site constantly to translate everything >u>
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