#or stuff that happened to me while playing. I made a comic earlier on paper about my experience with the nikita missile volt switch area

[cinnamontoads]

been playing the metal gear collection for the first time this week

[aineryeo]

Sweet Tea ௹ OSAMU

Sweet Hibiscus Tea — Better Twin. 🍵

SYNOPSIS: You are not a protagonist but your best friend definitely is. When will you ever be, sweet little side-character? » 6.2k Words

THEME: A li'l bit of a slow burn love story, angst, just a treat as my first fic in a year. | Bit of profanity, cussin', teen drama. And use of dialogue references!

NOTE: Low-key felt like this was crap, rip. I still love you so much ‘Samu :( I may have not written this the best

If you were to think of what your role in life was, you were sure you were a comic relief character, and your screen time was just cut short because the viewers in the show you call, “Life” are not giving you the best reviews. With the amount of times you felt like you were cycling through all your days the same, waking up… Waking.. Up.. Wake— Yeah, that was about it.

Everything else was an objective agenda. You were a sufficient klutz, whatever that paper was. You ponder, in your inner monologue while you’re tapping your push-pen on your school desk in Inarizaki.

“— And we’ll be designing our own living rooms as part of the Course Outline for Interior Studies in the general subject.”

You had a best friend, continuing to ignore the incessant babbles, you say as you write a little note to remind yourself to think of a living room design to finish the work quickly later. You had a best friend, who you can easily say is the main character of life. You swear, as she sat close to the window, and how she wasn’t mean, she was charming; it was so hard not to like her. But she’s also insecure, keeps to herself enough, having you by her side.

“Hear that ‘Samu?”

“What now, ‘Sumu?”

“Interior Designin’! Weren’t ya listenin’ ya scrub.” Bleach-blonde hair.“What about it?” Disinterest; Bleached hair too, but ash-grey.

“Ain’t Kori-Kori real good at stuff like this?”

You observed the two famed twins of Inarizaki High. Actually no, you were forced to; how? Well, you sat between them, not like that ever stopped anyone, nor did it ever interfere with your boring experience of being a 2nd mid-year Senior. You just wanted to get up, and leave, get a job or something; not going to lie.

“Is there anyone talking at the back right there? Anything the class would like to hear, pretty sure.” Professor said, which immediately shut the two up, the other was blatant and oblivious, even whistling.

“Guessed so.” Your professor went on right after.

Your chin was resting on the heel of your palm now, but you felt someone roughly, no really, they roughly tapped your shoulder, the touch was from a clearly heavy hand. It came from your right, which was…

“Hey missy, pass this on to my brother, will ‘ya?” He grinned widely, his other hand that held the pen used to write a note in the torn paper from his notebook that most likely didn’t have any notes despite it being mid-year. You let out a bit of a grunt, not moving from your position, but you did use your hand that was tapping your table to pass it on to the other Miya without sparing a glance.

“...”

“...”

Your arm was about to die. 

You turned to the other Miya, a small frown on your face as he ignored your outstretched hand, his eyes were closed, arms crossed but he was definitely not sleeping, it was obvious enough. So you tried to aggressively wave your arm that held the letter while keeping an eye on the doting teacher upfront, trying not to be obvious. His brother had noticed that he was ignoring you as well, shrugging when your frown deepened, back straightening on your desk, your free hand now tapping on your table instead of being a rest for your head.

“Hey ‘Samu ‘ya jerk…!” Atsumu whispered, a volume tad higher, to his brother who proceeded to ignore him; and technically, you too.

You groaned and ignored the two, equally annoying twins that are involving you into a situation you don’t want to get involved in. So you just slammed, actually no, not slammed exactly but you did harshly place the torn paper that contained some unnamed letter from Atsumu directed to Osamu. Wistfully, this was noticed by your professor.

“Y/N. I believe it’s been made clear that passing notes is not allowed in my class, rather, on any occasion that involves other subjects as well.” They scolded.

You sucked a breath in between your teeth, your hand ran through your hair in an attempt to calm you down. “Switch seats with Yokori. This seating will last ‘till the end of the year, ‘lest you misbehave again. This applies to everyone else who has been swapped constantly.”

Yokori gave you a solemn smile, knowing you hated this, she gathered her belongings and quickly sat to avoid any more trouble; even opting to give you a pat on your shoulder on the way to her desk near the window, though not quite beside. One classmate separated you from being directly beside the scenery of school grounds that held the gym where your schools’ famous volleyball team resides for practices. Actually, this classmate was one of their players, Suna Rintaro? Your impression on him was that he was quiet… Enough, if not provoked or talked to at all, which you guessed was part of your luck. Because you were definitely not going to talk to him, less it required you to by any of your classes together.

So you sat, your professor continued, and your eyes landed on your best friend that sat on your previous seat, since your first year of middle school. Bored expression on once again, your thoughts dialed back, and you noticed a quick interaction from Atsumu towards your best friend who flushed slightly from the two’s attention, noticing that even the twin who ignored you earlier began perking up, just a little bit. And the feeling was slight but you felt a tinge of annoyance, proceeding to push it to the back of your mind, not letting the feelings against your best friend surface. Because she was good, and undeserving of it, obviously.

The bell rang, it was time for lunch!

Lunch is a happy time, because you can buy yourself chocolate, and you can, well, eat lunch. What else is there for? You were bored out of your mind at home after doing your homework, and studying enough for the day so you practiced cooking. Which you admit, was very enjoyable, especially when you finish. Today was tuna sushi rolls, seaweed-strapped spam meat, seasoned rice, and hot tamarind soup in your insulating tumbler. You didn’t notice light gray irisess eyeing you in your little daydream about your lunch for today.

“Y/N, you good?” Yokori, said best friend went next to you, who had just finished gathering your lunch bag. You nodded, smile small. “Yep, let’s go.”

The class dispersed quickly, you two walked side-by-side as she timidly told you a story about her situation earlier.

“So Atsumu-san was passing notes to his brother Osamu, right? T’was so weird because they kept asking me questions, but Atsumu-san was nice, he wanted help with that Interior Designing project we have going on.” She laughed, scratching her cheek. You nodded along to her story, she was used to your rather quiet demeanor, she knew you were still listening. “They said it’d be cool to attend their after-school volleyball practice.”

“Mmh. Really? They’re annoying though.” You humored her, to which she chuckled.

“I mean… It shouldn’t be bad to try it, right?” She said with a big grin, bright.

You jutted your lips forward as you bobbed your head in agreement, already taking your chopsticks and lunch out when you found a free table. “I guess so.” You said, mouth chewing on a roll.

You pour a portion of soup to get the food down your throat onto your tumbler’s cap that serves as the cup, and drank, “So I told them you’re coming with me, I’d be too nervous by myself… Hehe..” and spat.

“Kori, what?”

“Come with me…” She looked at you, nervously smiling with her eyebrows raised in mock questioning, “-please.”

“Okay.”

“I promise, I’ll ask you next ti— wait, really? Holy shit, Y/N, thank you! I’ll pay you back, for sure. I didn’t expect you to agree quickly, d’you have a crush on any of the VBC members, perhaps?” She teased.

You were eating continually, mouth full of rice as you pointed your metal chopsticks toward her. Speaking with your mouth full, “I don’t think there was any point trying to say no if I’d say yes in the end anyway. It already happened, what can I really do?”

She nodded in understanding, you were always like this, relaxed about what happened around. It was worth idolizing, at least. Your head felt like it was burning, the back, you mean. Was someone staring?

You were now sitting outside of the gym, deciding to hang around outside instead of watching sweaty boys play for hours. Kori became more relaxed, so you took the go-mark and asked to leave when you noticed that she was. The team was fond of her, you note, Shinsuke Kita the Captain even thanking her for thinking of buying them snacks and helping them around with their manager to fill up the boys’ water bottles. The team gave her attention and copied their captain in terms of providing gratification for her deeds. You heard her ‘lax conversation next to the banter with the twins that was a normal recurrence.

You were simply a drifting particle, a bystander.

Actually wait, you remembered that you had packed yourself a little snack in case you had to stay in school for some surprise activity you forgot about, or situations like this exactly. So you took out your little box of homemade onigiris, not noticing the figure looming at the door. It was their break, and you were about to bite.

“Hey, that yours?” You hear, stopping your bite mid-way, turning your head to see ash-grey.

“Huh.”

“Ya deaf or what, missy?” The nerve.

You looked at him, and bit on the prism-shaped rice, then looked forward once again, closing your eyes even. ‘Till you heard shuffling and a sleazy figure sitting next to yours. That was when you opened your eyes, mouth slightly agape. Osamu Miya, sat next to you, his legs spread, and his arms were holding his whole posture as his head faced yours.

“If yer gonna look at me like that, the least ya could do is gimme one, little miss.”

You shook your head and swallowed. “Stop calling me little miss, old man.”

“Hoho, old man?” He says, humoring you, you can smell his cologne from here, mixed with sweat from his practice. He leaned forward, his arms now intertwining, resting on his knees, he was facing you with a small smile.

“Yeah, I’d call you shit hair but your hair ain’t the color.” You shrugged, but it was the type of shrug where you slightly move your hands outward. So when you did, the hand that held your bitten snack was when the big fox ate his fill. “Mm, tastes good.”

“Fucki-” You screeched. His eyes went wide when you just shoved the onigiri in his mouth, “It has your germs now, better not choke, gran’pa.”

Osamu was trying to give you a snide reply back but he couldn’t, with the rice stuck in, he just kept chewing. As you stood up and yelled to Kori that you were leaving. You were a side character, nothing more, you thought; as you walked away from the boy who had tried reaching to you, but you failed to notice.

“So… He invited me to their house to hang out.” Yokori said happily on the phone, you were trying to sketch a few designs you felt like doing so hummed, already quite satisfied, spinning on your chair right after. “So…”

“No.”

“But I haven’t said anything yet!”

“You were about to ask me if I can come with you because you’re nervous to go alone, the usual, hm?”

“...”

“Hm?”

“...Yes.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“N-”

“I’ll order you takeout pizza!”

“...Okay.”

You heard her cheering yes! On the other line, to which you just slumped in your chair to. And so, the day came and you were right behind Kori, who was knocking on the Miya residence as of the moment. The one who greeted the both of you was Osamu Miya, you internally groaned, their parents were off, you heard.

“Tsumu!” Your best friend smiles, greeting the other twin brightly; and smiling so wide at the twin at the door. “Hello ‘Samu!” She said, before the blonde had pushed past the door to beam at her.

“Brought your li’l friend along, cutie?” Atsumu jokes, rustling your friend’s hair before beckoning the two of you to come in. You walk past Osamu who you had mild grudges with. Your friend turned to you, “I’ll be helping Atsumu with some plates for the project, we’ll be up in his room!” She said, innocently.

“Mmh, okay. I’ll stay here?” You asked, more to yourself, you didn’t really know where to stay. This wasn’t your place.

“Accommodate the guest ‘Samu, I need’a do important school stuff.” Atsumu waved off as the two walked up the stairs on the way to the boy’s room, pretty sure. You stood there in the middle for a couple minutes, unsure. The renowned ‘less annoying’ Miya was sitting on one of their kitchen stools, his cheek digging into his palm, just staring at you. You stared back. He stared back. You were both staring.

You broke. “Not gonna let me sit, or anything?”

“Sit anywhere or something.” He droned, still looking at you. He was enjoying it.

So you looked at the couch beside you, then spared a glance at him, about to sit until he spoke again, “Hmm, not there.” He said in his low voice that contained an underline of mockery, you were sure. Though to him, it was simply amusing, to watch you that is. If anyone outside the two of your observing based gazes, he was actually sporting a noticeable smile. A small triangle smile, as if he was shy to make it any bigger, in hopes of hiding something.

You tried the two other chairs, the floor, leaning on a wall, but it was all a reject. You were embarrassed every time. Did you really have to go through all this just to get takeout pizza? You’d have to ask more later, that's for sure. So you tried for a last option, there was a tall stool right beside his, and well, three others far from him. So you tried the farthest tall stool from him, which was the far left. He shook his head no, you furrowed your eyebrows, you moved to the second stool, still no? Every move made your head wrinkle further down ‘till you reached the last seat, right next to him. To which he finally said, “Got it, pretty girl.” with a big boyish grin.

You didn’t have time to react to the nickname before finally letting out a sigh as you stretched your arms, and legs before laying your head on your arms that were resting on the table in front. That whole interaction probably took at least half an hour, you didn’t really know, you didn’t have a watch. “Pretty, my ass.”

He hummed, resting his head on his arms as well, though he was facing you. “Yer ass is.”

“The fuck.”

“Ya got a bad mouth.”

You groaned, and buried your face in your arms. Wanting to escape this. But you were lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t subconsciously enjoy his attention. You weren’t used to it, you weren’t supposed to feel this, right? It wasn’t, it just, it’s not you. Right? You shook your head to which the boy watched you do, getting your head up, posture straight and looking at him. He looked back, like he always seems to do.

“What do you want from me?” You say.

Osamu kept his mouth shut, still looking into you, thinking of what to say. Unwilling himself to tell you what he’d rather. So he asked a question, “D’ya cook?”

“Yeah, I make my own lunch and snacks.” You said, wary. Already feeling suspicious, you raise both your brows.

“Let’s cook.” He suggests.

Here’s the thing, you can’t do anything right if someone’s watching you too intently. It feels awkward, who in their right mind is able to do this right when he’s gripping your wrist that was stirring the batter for what the both of you decided to make, muffins.

“Ya gotta put in the right amount of strength.” He instructed.

“I’m starting to regret mentioning that I don’t bake often.” You thought, you thought you just thought that it was only in your thoughts. Oh no, you were becoming redundant, was it always this hot?

“Yer burnin’ figuratively, and literally. By that, your eyeballs are wide as fuck.” Osamu pointed out, he was biting his lip, to keep from a wide smile. “Tryna bake with yer hot gaze?”

What? “Huh.”

Now Osamu had wide eyes, I think it came off more sultry than intended. So he moved away from you as if you were burning his skin, though technically, you really were. Playing it cool. “What?”

“My what.”

“Yer… What?”

You were staring at him with a confused expression, about to open your mouth when, “Hey scrub! Make me a snack, I’m starvin’ over here.” Atsumu yelled from the room, you heard Kori’s small laugh and a faint, “Don’t be so mean, ‘Tsum.”

“Right. Let’s put ‘em in the tray then straight to the oven, yeah?” Osamu started, standing next to you, his face was not quite visible due to his wide shoulders, if you knew better, he might be obstructing your vision to not see the steaming heat from his ears. Spoiler, you did. But you chose not to poke at a sleeping bear.

“You sick? Got red ears?” You poked at a sleeping bear.

Actually, you were expecting a snark reply, it was easier that way. Just be sarcastic back. It was when the both of you were done, and placed the tray containing the muffin batter in the oven to bake, did Osamu dip his index finger in the bowl of slightly empty batter, facing you, and licking it off his finger. You really tried, you did; you tried not to look at the way he did that so unabashed. Dipping the same finger on the last remaining batter before menacingly leaning closer to you, inches from your face. If you could measure it exactly, 2.8 inches? So close.

Your weight moved from the heel of your foot to the front, again and again, what was he doing?

“What are you—?” You began before you got cut off by his finger wiping the batter on your lips, it made it look like you had a mustache. You stood there surprised for a few seconds, not knowing how to react, and hated how you expected something so different. It was until you heard a click of a camera and a low chuckle vibrate from the boy in front of you that you took the few remaining flour that was right in your reach to throw it in front of his face, making a huge fog of flour. He coughed for a bit, his eyes were glistening as he took the bowl next to him, using his whole hand to wipe leftover batter, getting ready to chase you.

You noticed. So you ran, but not without screaming, the leftover flour bag in your hand.

“No, please,”

“You asked for it, pretty girl.” He replied breathily, both of you were circling the kitchen island.

It took a good ten minutes before he decided to jump the island, and ran to quickly get hold of you with both of his arms, his hair tickling the side of your neck which made you laugh too hard, flour was all over his hair and apron, you failed to notice the handprint of batter right on your chest because you were struggling so hard to get off his grip. He was laughing too, you put on your scowling face, though not really mad, to face him, who in turn faced you as well. You didn’t notice the distance between the two of you was nearly non-existent; I repeat, nearly.

“Hey ‘Samu! I’m starvin’ and I smell yer bakin way over in my room.” You heard quick footsteps down the stairs, which made you jump in your skin. But even with that speed, you were still caught. Because Atsumu had an unreadable expression, “This place is a mess! Did we interrupt too early, hm?” Kori taking a peek right behind Atsumu.

You heard a dry cough from the other twin, facing the other direction, you facing the other as well. None of you spoke in time, so you took it. “No, uh, we weren’t, nothing was happening.”

“The scene of the crime is proof!” Atsumu pushed, teasing, as he continued his way down next to Kori.

“Shut it ‘ya scrub.”

“Yer the scrub, scrub.” They started bickering, real easy like that, trying to beat each other up. You noticed Kori walking down the stairs as well, first with an expression you couldn’t quite place, as if she was thinking deeply. But when she noticed you looking, she quickly changed into a bright smile, even sporting a blush, ready to tell a story about what happened behind the closed doors of Atsumu’s bedroom.

The day ended quickly after that, Osamu forced Atsumu to help the both of you to clean the kitchen while Kori volunteered to. It continued on like that, Kori dragging you into one of her meetings with Atsumu, you complaining but coming anyway, and you end up stuck with Osamu as she goes to her rendezvous with Atsumu that at this point, you have no idea what they’re doing. You just tag along.

Right now, you were beside Osamu in the gym during their break from training. Near the door, his teammates a good few distance away as he sat on a bench with his usual posture. Slumped back, his arms arching, one behind you that you fail to think of anything. Just as a general position. You were voicing out a thought you had in a while, seriously.

“So I was balls deep into ghosts way back—”

He looked at you, disgusted. “GROSS,” Shoving you lightly, “God, please never, ever say ‘balls deep in ghosts’ to anyone ever again. I feel like washin’ my mouth having to repeat that.” He even added this mild shudder that was just an exaggeration.

“What? What’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t really want to think about anyone having sex with a ghost.”

“Huh, who said anything about ghost sex?”

“You did, Y/N! Just now!”

“I didn’t—Oh, holy shit. No. Oh no.”

“What?”

“Does ‘balls deep’ not mean you’re standing in, like, the shallow end of the pool, metaphorically. Like up to your balls or something.”

“No! Balls deep is—It’s…”

“Balls deep is…”

“Why are you two talking about balls?” Suna interjected, acting as if he was just hearing about your conversation now. He was actually listening since the start, noticing the short distance between the both of you, interest hiding behind his eyes. “Balls, as in, dick or something? That’s wild.”

“Suna, no!” You screeched.

Osamu was biting back a laugh. The team was watching the three of you converse, getting used to the sight of you with their teammate. Assuming other things up the clouds. Atsumu was watching his brother with hawk eyes, and so was the girl next to him, Kori, though she was looking at you. If Suna was being honest, he didn’t notice any form of chemistry between your friend and the piss haired twin. They were all smiles and bright, but they always looked like they were thinking of something different. Though he doesn’t know anything about it.

Practice ended. It’s been months, and your interactions with Osamu have gotten more laxed. Your thoughts about being nothing more than a side-character was starting to change, because with him, you felt that you were a number one choice. You felt that you were a main character. Osamu felt the same, being with you felt like time was moving too fast and he wanted to spend it more with you, he was becoming insatiable. With you, he didn’t feel second to his brother for once. Lingering touches, his hand forgetting to unhook from yours, and his arm slinking around your shoulders as he yawns and asks for one of your homemade snacks as he starts to make some after-school snacks to give back to you. 

You were invading his mind as much as he was invading yours. Sitting next to you during lunch, asking what’s in your bento, vice versa. Why was everything sailing so smooth? It was like it was just him and you. You heard rumors from the Miya fans that they were thinking you were Osamu Miya’s girlfriend. Forgetting your inferiority, sometimes the universe was just cruel, so it had to humble you.

“Atsumu and I broke up.” Kori sobbed.

Not to you, but to Osamu. You gripped your bag’s strap tightly. You peeled your lip with your teeth until the middle bled, so you sucked in the pain. No, you were not the protagonist. You weren’t, you never will be, and you never are in the past, present, and future. So you sucked in a breath to collect yourself, seeing Osamu pat the girl to attempt and comfort her, badmouthing his brother. “Sorry,” Her first gripped his shirt tighter.

“Osamu, please. It’s—I always liked you. It was just you.”

She wasn’t a bad person. She wasn’t, but why? You wanted to hit her, that, or jump off a building and die. None of them noticed you yet, at least that’s what you thought, but the sobbing girl had already seen you before she started bawling, and the other twin was forced to give her a tight, but awkward hug.

“Yokori… I liked you.” 

You were about to walk to them normally after licking your lips from the blood, wanting to appear as a third party, to not let this happen. It just can’t. but you were pulled back by your collar. Who—

“Atsumu?”

He put his index finger in front of his lips to silence you, “Shh.”

So you followed him confused, he held your hand away from the scene. Leading you to the gates, the school half-empty, their practice about to start in half an hour or so. “Atsumu, why?” You croaked. 

He had his eyes widened a bit, why? Actually, why did he pull you from that scene? His other hand that didn’t hold yours, which you didn’t bother to remove with the energy seeping out of your body quickly; it was taking everything in you not to break down. It went to his nape, rubbing it in question to himself, why? It was just that, seeing you staring at a scene when he knew you liked his brother, at a scene too painful, for a best friend who was just trying to do their paper, he knew. So his arms safely wrapped around you as you stared dead into his eyes, looking at his features that resembled the other who had unknowingly captured your heart.

Your bleeding lip trembled, your eyes turned glossy of the tears held back, Atsumu looked at you, empathetic. He broke up with your best friend because he couldn’t see it happen, every time he saw you with his brother, that wasn’t what they both had. They were simply not meant to be, and he was fine, he just didn’t know, but he was glad that because of it, he found out that she liked his brother more than she did him. He’d be angry, he should be, for his sake, but he wasn’t angry for him, he was angry for you. 

He hid your face into his chest instead.  You didn’t sob, solely because you thought you didn’t deserve to. But you cried, you let your tears soak in, “You look like him too much.”

“Shhh, I know—” Sigh. “It’s okay. You don’t have to look at me.” He said, trying his best to comfort you, caressing your hair. As a pair of grey eyes watched the scene from a distance, unable to hear, but able to see. Maybe he saw too much as he grimaced.  

Osamu tried his best not to punch his brother right in the jaw, or push him away so he could yell everything he’d kept cooped up inside before you came running along, turning monochrome into a saturated-vision of the world. His teeth were pressing down on each other hard enough, he thought it might break, and shatter, just like his heart did. Of course, you chose his brother. Everyone always does. Every time he thinks he’s got it all, it’s all swiped underneath by his twin. Everyone says that it wasn’t their talents, or skills in volleyball that was the greatest gift they had ever received in life. It was their twin. But right now, he just thinks he was a curse he had to always deal with.

He jolted as he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Suna.

“Practice. Kita’s calling. Call your brother.” The ever-observant boy runs over as he scans the scene, and hisses as he sees you wrapped in his brother’s arms. Though he knew more than that, he had first-class seats to this theatrical after all. But he’d rather not be part of the act club, it wasn’t his forte.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” Osamu replied, briefly. A bit tense, still.

He looked back to Atsumu who had let you go, and you who were walking away already. On the way to your home, he was sure. But he can’t help but cringe, thinking of it as your way of walking away from him.

“Practice! ‘Sumu!” He yelled, devoid of anything.

You jolted, you were a bit far but he yelled really loud you could still hear it. This didn’t go unnoticed by him, but you were both overcome by swirling emotions that stopped both of you to do the bare minimum, smile and wave, no after-school snacks. Atsumu jogged towards them, not noticing his brother’s attempt at hiding his huge frown. Practice was hell for Osamu, he didn’t want to see his brother right now, not when he still thinks of your precious little form hugging his brother’s, not his.

When his brother accidentally served a ball hitting Osamu behind the head, it was more of a switch for his anger; his rage.

“Fucking hell.” He said, turning viciously towards his brother who was uttering lighthearted apologies. It wasn’t until he started stalking towards Atsumu did the team start watching them like hawks, Aran thinking it’s just another one of their silly fights. But that thought was cut off when Osamu suddenly launched a fist towards Atsumu. “Ya just get off on this, huh? Ya get off on giving me bullshit every time.”

“Woah, ‘Samu I said I was sorry. What the fuck.” Atsumu said, brows furrowed, voice starting to get scratchy at his brother’s tight grip on the collar of his shirt. His hand quickly gripped his brother’s wrist tied to his shirt, attempting to get it off him, starting to get riled up from getting hit out of nowhere. “What’s your fuckin’ problem?” He said, about to kick his brother off of him.

“You. You just took everything from me, ‘Sumu. You took them.” 

Osamu breathed heavily as Kita instructed the team to peel the twins away from each other as this wasn’t one of their silly fights at all. It held other issues. The captain knew that practice wouldn’t be able to continue like this, so he made them do drills before allowing them to go home. Looking pointedly at the Miya’s. The two brothers did what they were told to, going off to do their drills, and getting ready to go home.

They were walking silently side-by-side, both faces covered with a frown, Atsumu’s face having a bruise by the jaw whilst Samu didn’t have a scratch, only because Atsumu was realizing where it all came from.

“Did ya see?”

“Fuck you.”

“Look— It’s not what ya think, ya idiot.” Atsumu started, Osamu raised his brow at his brother. “I don’t want to say anything. Figure things out yourself, scrub.” Then the blonde started walking faster, leaving his brother behind to ponder.

The next day came by, he tried calling you but it never got through. Did you block him? What did he do? Did you really get repulsed by him to avoid him to that extent? That involved his texts getting left unanswered. You didn’t come to school today, he asked Kori, who he had rejected yesterday, and who was supposed to know about you more than he did. Though he was aware that you often felt inferior to her, as he told you the same about his brother, it was a feeling that you two were all too familiar with.

“I don’t know where she is, I’m sorry. She’s not talking to me either.” 

Osamu stayed quiet at that, he thought you just needed time. So he let it go, looking forward to talking to you the following days. But that was the problem, you weren’t there in the following days either. He knew where you lived but he didn’t want to impose as your family didn’t know him very well yet either. He stopped himself from visiting until it hit the second week of your absence. Where were you? Why have you disappeared as if you never existed in the first place? He was growing worried, he wanted you to exist. He loved existing when you were around. And he wanted to clear everything up after getting multiple clues from Suna, and his brother, obviously.

It was until the class of the second week you were gone, when Osamu promised to visit your house after school, did their teacher tell them news that tore Osamu in half.

“One of our students Y/N L/N has transferred schools. The administration just finished filing her transfer after her visit yesterday, she didn’t get to say goodbye as her family moved out the same day. That’s about it, the first class is Physics. Have a nice day ahead, students.”

His ears were ringing. You were gone. Gone like the liquid that slipped past his hold. Atsumu looked at his brother in pity, knowing how much he had lost at that time. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t hear Osamu crying in the shower when they got home. Or when he tried to not get his snot on his pillows, sniffling in the night. His heart ached for his brother.

It’s been years since 2nd year in High School, and Osamu has just opened up Onigiri Miya. His brother had gone pro on Volleyball, and he couldn’t be more proud. He still finds himself thinking back to a few months of pure bliss in highschool, and he tried dating a fair share as well, in hopes that he’ll get what he had with you. He didn’t. So he dedicated himself to his work, and his passion: cooking. A few more years and his business was a success, to which was hell for the first few months, having no investors, and all. He was wiping down his counter, black cap on, his hair not having the same old bleached-grey hair. Instead, it was back to his natural dark hair.

“What is this place, really?” 

“The name reminds me of someone from my highschool days. But I only heard about it now, is it really good?”

“Yeah, totally! We should bring our superiors here, and see if we get a few favors, hmm? The onigiri here is a star-choice.” Osamu sees someone turned around, laughing prettily, smiling all-wide, they were bright. Until the same eyes he used to look at in such a close distance, caught his own. His heart skipped two beats, or maybe skipped beating this whole time, maybe he died because god, did he finally send his angel back to him?

It was when you uttered his name under your breath, from the entrance that rang the bell prior to the conversation he overheard earlier did he confirm it. “Hey pretty girl,” he says, as he takes off his cap, ruffles his hair, chuckling deeply, and looking directly back at you; your heart spasms. “Where have you been?”

Bonus:

“Yeah, he was a real bitch when I first talked to him in high school.” You badmouthed him loudly from your table, which made him yell from the kitchen, “I was trying to see if you’ll take my hand and put the note there, okay!” Laughing, you didn’t notice him stalking behind you until he placed a kiss on your cheek. “Grumpy-ass.”

Living with 'Samu! ⁆ End Credits

[avengerscompound]

It’s You and Me - Chapter 10

It’s You and Me: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x  F!Reader

Word Count:  1758

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Mentions of past abuse, some kinda sexual stuff (though it’s light and probably pg movie worthy), some of this is canon comic stuff - so you may have already read it.

Synopsis: You and Clint Barton go way back.  Since you joined the circus as a child, he took it upon himself to keep you away from the people who really wanted to hurt you.  For years the two of you danced a line between dark and light.

When he chooses light the two of you go your separate ways.

Fifteen years later he tracks you down.  Those feelings the two of you shared never went away, but now he is not only an Avengers but a single father.  Can the two of you make it work after all this time when your lives have gone in such different directions?

A series told in flashbacks and current day.

Chapter 10: Then

Clint ran through the circus looking for Eden.  He’d been in town getting some things when he’d spotted the paper.  The words ‘Art Dealer Murdered’ were splashed over the front page, with a photograph of the man Clint recognized from when he’d had the meeting with Tiboldt and a picture of some of the missing art.  He knew it had to do with the circus.  That someone from here had killed him when they’d tried to steal the art.  After what you had said about Eden potentially being involved, he was terrified that someone was her.

“Anyone seen Eden?”  He called as he ran through the carnies setting up the tents for the show tonight.

He spotted Bruto the Strong Man hammering in some of the larger poles and rushed over to him.  “Bruto,” he said, slightly breathless.  “You seen Eden around?”

Bruto thrust his thumb over his shoulder.  “Check Tiboldt’s trailer.”

Clint nodded and ran towards the orange trailer that had the large banner advertising the circus on the side.  “Eden,” he called.  “Tiboldt - you guys in there?”

The door opened a crack and the thin weasley face peered around the corner.  “What do you want, Barton?”

“Where’s Eden?”  Clint asked.

Tiboldt narrowed his eyes.  “What… do … you… want?”

Clint thrust the paper forward, right into the Ringmaster’s face so he could see the headline.  “This is the guy you were talking to a few days ago!”

“Really?”  Tiboldt said, playing coy.  “I talk to so many people when we do our shows…”

“He was the museum guy - we were gonna do some children’s charity gig for him?”  Clint questioned.

Tiboldt chuckled drily and handed the paper back to Clint.  “Apparently, we won’t be now.”

Clint scowled, taking it.  “Where’s Eden?”

Tiboldt pushed the door open so that Clint could see inside.  Eden was sitting at the dressing table, naked except for a small towel wrapped around her waist.  She turned, obviously startled that the Ringmaster would give her away.  “Clint!”  She yelped.  “I…”

Clint fumed.  He wanted to yell.  To fight Tiboldt.  To do something to express how angry and hurt he was right now.  Tiboldt was the boss though and he was stuck.  He’d been sleeping with Eden and they’d gone and murdered someone together and Clint was just some dumb sucker.

He spun on his heel and stormed off.

He’d made it halfway down the big top before Eden came chasing after him, the towel only barely wrapped around her.  “Clint!  Wait!” She called.  “It��s not what you think!”

“Yeah?”  He snapped, tossing the paper into the air.  “‘Cause I’m thinkin’ you’re with him when you said you were my girl -” he loosed an arrow at it and shot past Eden’s head, pinning the paper to the wall of the trailer she was standing next to, the arrowhead piercing the picture of the murder victim through the head.  “- and you helped him commit murder!”

“You…” Eden stammered.  “You really think I would murder someone?”

Clint faltered.  He didn’t know what he believed.  He loved Eden and had loved her for a while now.  But seeing her naked in that trailer only days after you had warned him about what was going on, he wasn’t sure if he could trust her.  “I - no… no, I don’t…”

She approached him running her hand up into the back of his head and leaning into him.  “As for Tiboldt and me - please - I was posing for a new trailer poster.”  She looked into his eyes and tilted her head.  “No one touches me - you know that.  No one but you.”

She opened her towel, and wrapped it around him, bringing her naked body to his right out in the open in front of everyone.  Heat flushed Clint’s skin and every coherent thought left his head.  He kissed Eden deeply and hungrily the only thing even remotely resembling a coherent thought was the deep animalistic hunger he felt for her.

That night as you and Clint got ready for the show, he’d all but forgotten the incident from earlier and the murder of the art dealer.  You were fussing with the horses as he checked his equipment.

“Five minutes ‘til showtime!”  Tiboldt called.  Clint flexed his bowstring and the bow snapped.  “Ah, nuts!”  He cursed and looked around, while Tidbolt called out the run list.  “Anyone got a soldering iron?”

You shook your head while the other performers ignored him.  “Hurry, Clint,” you said.  “We’re first.”

“I’ll be quick,” he agreed and ran out the back of the tent.  Eden was coming in from outside.  She was wearing a bikini that would match her flesh if it wasn’t covered from neck to toe in intricate tattoos.  “Eden, baby, I need a soldering iron,” he said.

“Oh, I got one, Clint,” she teased.

“You do?” He said, completely missing the teasing in his desperation to fix the bow before curtains up.

“You wanna know where I’m keeping it?”  She smirked

Realization dawned on him.  Of course, the woman who was basically naked didn’t have a soldering iron on her.  “Oh,” he said.

“Try one of the storage chests, you big dope - the purple one, I think,” she said.

He rushed down to where the storage chests were but instead of one, there were three purple chests, each identical to the other.  “Aw, man…” he whined.  “Eden… three of them are purple!”

“Two minutes!”  Tiboldt called.

“C’mon…” Clint muttered, opening one of the trunks.  Sitting on top of the chest was the painting from the paper.  It had been Tiboldt, just like he’d thought.  Which meant it was probably Eden too.

His heart sunk.  He didn’t know what to do.  It was one thing when it was just stealing - but murder?  How could he stay with the Circus knowing they were doing that?

“Ladies and Gentleman -”  Tiboldt called, his voice amplified over the big top.  Clint cursed again and began digging for the soldering iron in the other trunks.

He’d well and truly missed his queue when he reached you.  Eden was out on the floor working her contortionist routine.  “Where have you been?”  You asked.  “You missed your queue.”

“I’m sorry!”  He said and came over close to you.  “I was fixing my bow and I found a painting… one of the missing ones.  They killed that art guy.”

You frowned.  “Shit.”

“Did you have anything to do with it?”  He asked.

You held up your hands.  “I swear I didn’t, Clint.  I thought about it, but I knew if they had that over me, then they’d have control of me.”

“You think Eden did?”  Clint muttered.

You looked around and pulled Clint behind the horses more.  He tried to see what had got you spooked and noticed Tiboldt watching you both.  “I don’t know.  Maybe,” you whispered.  “You should ask her that.”

Clint’s shoulders sagged.  “I might get us a motel room.  Maybe if she’s away from the circus she’ll tell me.”

You shrugged.  “Maybe.”

“Hawkeye, Sugar.  You already missed on queue, you better get this one,” Tiboldt snapped, appearing around the front of the horses.

“Yes, sir!” You said, getting on your horse.

Clint did the same and waited for his queue.  You leaned over to him.  “Clint, what are you gonna do if she did do it?”

Clint shrugged.  “I dunno.  I dunno if I can stay here.  Would you come with me?”

“Where would we go?”  You asked.   “We ran away to the circus, what’s after that?”

“Welcome to the ring, the man who can’t miss, Hawkeye!”  Tiboldt announced, interrupting Clint’s train of thought.  He spurred his horse on through the curtains.  Not that he was sure what he was going to do, but if he turned everyone in, there was no way that the answer could be this anymore.

You sat next to Clint by the payphone in the street.  He’d done what he’d said.  He’d taken Eden to a motel.  They’d gotten dirty and then clean again, and while they showered he’d asked her about the murder.  She denied the murder but not the theft and then got mad at him for not trusting her.  Clint had gone to bed feeling sick to his stomach and the next morning he woke well before Eden, come back to the circus, and got you.

“You really gonna do this, Clint?”  You asked.

He shrugged.  “I dunno.  They killed someone.  That guy has a family.  Friends.  They deserve some kind of closure.”

You nodded.  “The circus will be done.  What will we do?”

“Go on the road together,” Clint suggested.  “The act won’t be quite as good without the horses and the clowns, but we could do a pretty good routine.  Maybe some solo work too.”

“Maybe if you do it anonymously they won’t know it was you,” you suggested.

“Eden will know,” he said.  “So will Tiboldt. This is gonna burn us.  I already got my leg busted because I threatened to turn them in once.”

“I guess… make the call, and we go back and … pack our things?”  You said.  “If we can get as much of our stuff as we can, we won’t need to start from scratch.”

“You’re really going to come with me?”  Clint asked.

“Clint,” you said softly, lowering your eyes.  “I know you don’t know exactly what happened to me before I joined the circus, but when I joined, and Jacques said I needed to take those pictures - he said that he wouldn’t touch me.  That it’d just be some naked pictures and that’d pay for my upkeep.  I didn’t like it, but … it was like levels, you know?  When someone keeps breaking your bones, and then a different person says, come here I’ll bruise you, but I won’t break your bones, you go because compared to the broken bones, the bruising feels like heaven.  And you… you said you’d protect me from anyone hurting me at all.  And you did.  You kept Jacques away from me and you gave me a way to protect myself.  And you’ve never expected anything from me.  I kept expecting that one day you’d be like ‘well look what I did, now you owe me so open up those pretty legs of yours’ but you didn’t.  So yeah, Clint.  I’ll go with you because it’s you and me.  You’ve always got my back, it’s only fair I have yours too.”

Clint looked at you and smiled sadly.  “You and me,” he said and patted your thigh.  “Okay.  I’m gonna do this.”

// NEXT

[genaleah]

ANSWERING WILDCARD QUESTIONS

For the first time in about a year maybe??? Some of these might be even older than that.

Yes, it is Korka! I definitely want her involved, she’s a wonderful character and there is a *lot* of fun paranormal stuff going on in this setting that she can help them research. Also, I’d just love for her and Nelson to become friends!

Thank you! I love him a lot, and it’s fun to picture him interacting with the other guys. They’d all make for some interesting uncle figures, but they might not be that great in terms of role models.

OHOHO. Devilish laugh. That’s a wonderful idea, and a good way to keep him occupied at some point. He’s a great character, but he’s incredibly powerful, and I want these dudes to solve their own problems whenever possible. 

A good question! I don’t remember most of my dreams, but there’s usually a consistent look to the vivid ones. Lots of water, mountains, creeks, and high, winding roads. There are also a lot of buildings that are closely integrated with nature, even though I have almost never seen construction like that. 

I had not, but now I have! Here’s a trailer, for anyone else that missed it:

https://youtu.be/33HXHaaagsw

I really like these new models! I’m looking forward to watching a playthrough when that’s available. Just like with Rhombus of Ruin, I don’t think I’ll be able to play this one myself.

DOUBLE FINE, I WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOU- no, I’m kidding! I think great minds think alike. But I’m really excited to learn more about that character and possibly involve them in this whole au eventually. 

I’ve actually tried to avoid almost any info about Psychonauts 2 so I can go in mostly-blind, and a lot of the characters are vague to me. It’s fun to look forward to, but it’s also a little harrowing because I don’t know how to anticipate for it!

N...NO..... I NEED TO... Honestly those are old enough that it might be a good idea for me to re-make them, as well as the playing cards I made for the mega playlist cover. I think it’d be nice to remake them as vectors... that might make for a nice art stream sometime. I’ll mention publicly if I start doing that, and sharing any of these conceptual Wildcards arts when they’re done. 

And if you’re just curious about what the tarot cards for the other characters are going to be, it’s this:

Eddie: Judgement, The Magician, The Emperor

Manny: Death, Justice, The World

Sam: The Chariot, The Tower, Strength

Max: The Devil, Wheel of Fortune, Joker

Although! I may actually give the Moon card to Max instead of the Devil, and replace the missing card from Nelson’s selection with the High Priestess?  🤔  I’ll decide when I get to it.

Could be! I’ve flip-flopped occasionally on if I want the split-a-cab gang to participate much in the story. I think they deserve a break, and splitting an apartment in New York seems like a good situation for the four of them.

Oh boy, that must be so disorienting for him. The Psychonauts deal with a lot of hippy-dippy weirdness in a seemingly organized way, but it seems like they’re not as paranoid about safety as a real federal organization would be. Not necessarily a good thing, considering one of their camp counselors went AWOL one day, and the head of the Psychonauts got kidnapped the next. They kinda need to get their act together.

Fun fact, in one of the earlier drafts of Chapter 3 I was actually going to make Nelson get scanned by the equivalent of a metal-detector for malevolent thoughts at the door and get really spooked by it, but I decided against it.

YEAH IT’S ON THE LIST

Honestly, a big bulk of the plot in this just regards characters having to face their mental health struggles... via facing it as literal internal demons, unstable powers, etc.  It’s going to take a little while for any of Eddie’s teammates to realize how MUCH he has going on under the surface because he does a pretty good job of hiding it. “Needing to help others above ever helping themselves” is a hard issue to notice if you’re not looking for it. But it’s a guarantee that once they find out he needs help, they’ll give it; whether that’s making sure he’s not working himself too hard, or fighting off demonic cultists. Care comes in many forms.

SHE NEEDS TO REST.... POOR SYBIL (on the upside, they don’t TECHNICALLY work there, so she might be fine most of the time.)

Strong Bad isn’t a Psychonaut! He’s just a vlogger and a petty (psychic) criminal. It’s honestly not very different from canon.

Free Country, USA is a smalltown hotbed of psychic activity. Nearly everyone there has some mild capacity for supernatural powers, but nobody really notices or cares. Strong Bad just pops the tops off of cold ones and.... sometimes alters reality, a tiny bit. But mostly just in regards to media. The cartoons, comics, etc, that he invents and talks about have a tendency to suddenly voip into existence and nobody knows how. I swear, there’s actually a line of him saying something to this effect, but I can’t find it anywhere.  Don’t worry about it! Nobody in town is ever going to do anything truly nefarious with their powers, so it’s not a high priority on the Psychonauts’ radar, just a weird footnote.

The only reason Homestar is an actual agent is because he seems like exactly the kind of guy to sign up for a job like that on accident and then stick with it. And he’s a talented telekinetic! None of his other friends know about his job or notice his absences.

And just for fun, here’s some weird instances of psychic overpowering that happened in the cartoon:

---

(Poor Strong Sad)

I’ve actually answered this one before! BAM  Pretty sure all of it is still accurate.

Nelson: He sees floating sheets of paper containing notes, questions, etc. Anything that he wants to know more about regarding that person. The notes are subject to edits, cross-outs, ripped pages, etc.

Guybrush: He sees the item that the person is carrying that he wants most. As he gets to know people better, he sees them for their useful skills first.

Manny: His view of most living people is not very kind...

The people he’s closest to will eventually look a lot less garish. More like a flattering, camera-ready versions of themselves.

Eddie: Sickass sketch drawings that look like they belong in the margins of a composition book. The illustrations improve as he gets a better picture of where they’d fit in the internal lore of his mental world.

Sam: A lot like Nelson; Sam pictures case files, though his are a bit more in-depth.

Max: Max’s visions of people are highly personal and uncomfortable for those who witness them. He sees Nelson as a puzzle with a piece missing. Guybrush is a ripped up voodoo doll. Manny is a forgotten ofrenda. Eddie is a powder keg with a long, lit fuse. Sam is Sam, but he’s the wrong one.

I also got two questions that were pretty big subjects, or that I didn’t want to repeat, so I’m gonna cover them pretty broadly:

REGARDING [X] CHARACTER OR SERIES INCLUDED IN THE AU

Sure, I support it! I’ve gotten this question a few times in regards to things that I haven’t had time to delve into yet, or I’m not interested in, so I’m not going to include it into the AU myself. But if you want to explore an idea like that, feel free! This AU is pretty dang collaborative.

My main focus is just on the main 6 properties: Psychonauts, Puzzle Agent, Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, Brutal Legend, and Sam & Max.

But my general rule of thumb for “characters that exist somewhere within the background of this story” are any other properties owned by Telltale, Lucasarts, or Double Fine. And considering all of the licensed games that Telltale was getting into before it kicked the bucket, that includes some really weird characters, even up to the Venture Bros. I loved that series, but I’m not really interested in doing anything with them for this story! Partly for my sanity, the canon I’ve picked are already a lot of content to play with. 

ASSORTED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE WILDCARD AU DISCORD

There’s no particular criteria needed to join the discord, and it’s not strictly on a need-to-know basis! Because it’s been a long while since anyone has joined, I've been hesitant about adding new people in... But I‘ve decided to try sending invitations again! Everyone who had asked about it in the past will be getting a ping by me in about a day or so, since I want to double-check if you’re still interested. If you’ve been nervous to ask you can reply to this post or message me privately.

Some things to keep in mind before asking or accepting the invite:

If you’re not a friend or a follower I recognize, I will likely double-check your tumblr along with some other current members before sending the invite. 

Here’s the Rules page, so you know what to expect before you join: 

Be Mindful - Respect other people's boundaries, don't do or say things that would cross the line. If your behavior makes other people feel uncomfortable or unsafe, I will remove you from the chat. In most cases I will try to resolve things with you and offer a chance to do better, but that will depend on the severity of the situation. And if you have any concerns regarding another member of the chat, you can contact me privately.

Health Boundaries - While discussions of mental health do occasionally pop up, do not rely on the chat for help. None of us are equipped to handle serious mental health concerns, and it will only cause distress for everyone. Please seek real help if it is needed! If you rely on people beyond the point that they have asked you to stop, I will remove you from the chat.

NSFW - Generally speaking, try to keep NSFW talk to a minimum. Swearing and humor is fine, but don't get too explicit please! Discussions should usually keep to a PG-13 / occasional R, but no NC-17.

Spoilers & Censorship - Please use the spoiler function to hide story spoilers, as well as discussions and graphic depictions of gore/excessive blood/body horror/severe psychological horror. Include a content warning so that people know what they could potentially be seeing when they click on the censored content. If the spoilered content is the subject of a back-and-forth discussion, please use another warning when you are switching to a different spoilered topic. (Note that these rules were added to the chat later, so be careful when using the search function or back reading.)

The canon series involved with the Wildcard AU are Psychonauts, Puzzle Agent, Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, Brutal Legend, and Sam & Max. Please be mindful of story spoilers!

Channel Organization - Also be mindful of which channel you're in and move a discussion over if need be! That way they don't get too clogged with unrelated info.

Creative Criticism - When it comes to writing, art, or character creation; try to be open to suggestions from others! Nearly all of the creative work in the chat is collaborative, so input from others is important! Creative criticism is not the same as judgement, and is not a personal attack.

Have fun! - Discussions move quickly in this chat! Don't feel bad if you ever need to step back, whether it's because of the speed or a disinterest in whatever current topic we're focusing on. If you ever want to come back, we're happy to have you and can give quick explanations if you feel out of the loop! :thumbsup:

We’re a group of approx. a half dozen to a dozen people, either posting very very quickly in a span of a few hours or barely anything for a few days. We’ve been in an activity uptick lately and there’s about a year and half of back content, too. If it’s hard to keep up on, not that interesting to read through, or you just have a hard time gelling with the group that's already there, there’s no shame in just lurking or dipping out if you need to.

We also talk a lot about Psychonauts OCs, so anticipate that.

[fanficparker]

If opened: Request for Harrison Osterfield In which Harrison is madly in love with the reader but is to scared to bring up his feelings for her due to her being very shy and quiet but the reader accidently let’s it slip that she likes him or something idk

Cute... I had a lot of fun writing it. Also it got LOADS OF TOM HOLLAND IN THIS and you are basically asked to choose one of them in a fun way 🙈...Also, I flew away with it and now it’s 1.6k words, so basically it’s an actual one-shot. Let's see where it goes:—

MONOPOLY | H.O., T.H.

Harrison Osterfield x Reader, Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: 1.6k words

Warning: Swearing...

Summary: You are stuck in the game of monopoly with two idiots and there’s no escape. Shit is about to happen...

Harrison was not exactly your friend. Your friend was Tom and Tom's friend was Harrison, so as maths works, his relationship with you could be best described as a friend of a friend. Yeah, friend of friend, nothing more. Period.

But then he always tagged along with Tom, so you were subjected with big doses of him in your life, much more than what you had anticipated. Whenever you would open the door for Tom, there was always a Harrison waiting patiently at his back, waiting till you both had finished interacting.

And when you were done with hugging and mocking Tom as friends do, Harrison would smile at you and offer a small wave, fingers running gently in the air. He wouldn't say hi but mouth it. It was always just his lips moving without a real sound. You could read it though. You reciprocated the same. And that became your little greeting.

You were shy and quiet, the stereotypical introvert, so there wasn't ever a proper conversation with Harrison without the presence of Tom. Tom always forced the words out of you. He was good at it and had a big mouth but Harrison... He just went with your natural form. Although he was full of jokes and occasional flirting, which you could never complain about. That was how he was and you had also accepted him in his natural form.

On a normal Saturday evening, the three of you were sitting on the sides of an international monopoly board. Tom was sitting beside you, while Harrison was sitting opposite to you but beside Tom.

"Woo Woo Woo... I owe the whole of London now!!!" Tom squealed, doing a little dance with his hands, shoving his token over the block and dramatically throwing the paper currency at Harrison's lap.

"Take my money, banker!" He growls, lurching forward at Harrison as if the word he addressed Harrison with was wanker instead of banker. Or maybe he actually said wanker; he is Tom after all. Harrison rolled his eyes at his best-friend, dumping the fake currency to the side and tossed the dice.

"Eight!" Tom yelled, reading the numbers.

"I can count," Harrison said unimpressed as he moved his token eight blocks ahead and made it land over 'Income Tax'.

Tom laughed loudly, patting his friend's back while Harrison cursed, putting some of his money aside. You watched their interaction with an ear-to-ear smile, occasional giggles leaving your lips.

"Your chance, Y/n," Harrison says, picking up the pair of dice in his hands and giving it to you. His fingers brushed over your palm, sending little chills down your spine.

Oh yeah, Harrison was after all your crush too. How convenient? That definitely meant tons of awkwardness. But how could you ever resist? His smile, the shape of his face, his sweet voice, his eyes, his laugh, the stuff he talks, his playfulness, his dumb jokes, his knack for helping everyone in need, those curls and now just imagine all those things at one place.

You looked down at the board, tossing the dice.

"Twelve..." Harrison whispers, looking at you through his lashes and smiles. Your heart does that little flip-flop thingy. You move ahead and end up at Jakarta which luckily was your own property. Tom lurches forward, picking up the dice and rolling them over.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" He curses, finally landing over Rio De Janeiro, now owing Harrison a sum of two-hundred pounds. A smile spreads across the blonde's face as he jokes —

"Looks like a billionaire is crashing down." He winks at you. You force out a laugh, more like a cough mixed with fake giggles to counter the warmth sweeping in your chest and on your face.

"I need drinks!" Tom growls, submitting the money to Harrison and laying back on the floor.

"Get 'em yourself..." Harrison throws back, counting the notes and tossing the dice.

"Karma!" Tom mumbles, sitting up, seeing the token landing over Lagos.

"Ah... Y/n will surely give me a discount, right?" He asks, looking at you hopefully but in an amusing way.

"Nah... You gotta pay extra taxes instead!" You laugh, slowly feeling connected with the game. Also, the drinks that Tom brought from the fridge were working their way in your system.

Then the game went on for several minutes in which Tom had already showered himself with the fake currency two times.

At one point Harrison frustratingly threw the only twenty pounds he owned at the middle of the board.

"We should play UNO instead. This game is shit!" He declares, hands folded across his chest.

"Why? Cause you are almost bankrupt?" Tom taunts.

"Oh, it's because you are cheating!" Harrison replies, rolling his eyes.

"Dude you are the banker!" He exclaims as you chuckle.

"Whatever. I don't care," He shrugs, trying to get up.

"You can't leave before ending the game!!" You whine and he looks at you.

"Okay. Just because Y/n is saying..." He gives Tom a dirty glare, plopping down on the floor again.

"Just because Y/n is saying..." Tom repeats in a poor Harrison's voice impression.

"Shut up, cheater!" Harrison grumbles and shifts the bank from between them to the other side.

"Ugh, kids..." You groan comically, getting back into the game.

"Y/n... Y/n?" Harrison whispers after two turns.

"What?"

"I invite you to be my business partner," He clicks his tongue while Tom's eyebrows narrow.

"What? No wayyy! That's cheating!!!" He bounces on his lap.

"Says who? One who's in jail? And it's not cheating. That how businesses work," He spat looking at Tom and then looks at you, expressions softening within nano-seconds, "Also Y/n. I have so many properties and you got so much cash in hand. Imagine how powerful we both would be together? We can become the biggest business tycoon in the world!" He completes looking up dreamily with hands stretched out.

"Y/n, don't listen to him. He is an idiot."

Harrison ignores Tom's words and slides from his spot, sitting beside you, knees touching.

"I am not. You know what's best for us. Right na?" Harrison asks softly, leaning his head to the side and close to you, his slightly wet curls falling over his forehead. And those amazing eyes were staring deep into yours. The knot in your stomach tightens making you feel nauseous and pleased with his close proximity simultaneously.

You need more alcohol.

"I-I think... Yeah. It's a good idea..." You speak slowly, hiccuping mid-sentence, breaking the lethal eye-contact with Harrison, while Tom's eyes grew wider.

"Seriously Y/n, you have better options!" Tom says, pointing both his index fingers at himself.

"Rubbish. Everyone knows Y/n likes me better than you." Harrison smirks, glancing at both of you periodically.

"You wish." Tom dramatically whips an invisible ponytail resting over his shoulder to his back, looking confident as ever, "Y/n darling, why don't you bless him with facts..."

For the first time in your life, everyone's eyes were on you. Well, at least these two handsome boys...

You were already nervous.

"It's not fair," You try to change the topic, "You can't ask me to choose between you both. Tom is my friend and Harrison is my crush. I can't---" You instantly clamp your mouth shut.

"What?!" Tom spits the beer in his mouth to the floor.

Your mouth opens and closes, unable to find words. You don't even dare to face Harrison—

"Holy shit!" Harrison mutters under his breath. You can hear it, he's sitting next to you, skin touching. As if everything else wasn’t great already.

Don't look at him. Don't look at him. And then you are looking at him.

He's biting his lip, his Adam's apple is bobbing in his throat.

"You like me?" He questions as if he was making sure. There was no escape...

You suck in a breath, "Yeah... I do..." You instantly avert your gaze to your thighs.

"Oh my god! OH MY GOD! I LIKE YOU SO MUCH!" Harrison yelps like a high-school teen and grabs both of your hands in his bigger ones, jumping up and pulling you to stand with him.

"I am seriously leaving. This is going awkward," Tom says and gets up to leave but then he shoots you a wink before shutting the main door.

Little shit.

He knew. Of course, he knew!

Now it's just you and Harrison. Alone... for the first time. What an awfully pleasant experience...

Harrison squeezes your hands and you look at him.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? I would have taken you to the best of dates, feed you with the best delicacies..." He says, shaking your hands lightly.

"Y-you could have told me..." You manage to say, feeling a bit confident now that things weren't unrequited.

"Dude. I seriously never guessed. I just had this secret crush on you and you talk more to Tom and we never talk in a bilateral way. The boat looked imbalanced from my side, I was seriously freaking out!" He rambles.

"Oh..." You look at your interlaced fingers. They feel good...

Harrison senses your disappointing expressions, so he steps onto the pedestal himself, "No worries. I can take you out now... So, will you go on a date with me?"

You were looking into each other's eyes. His eyes were basically pleading.

"It's not even a question. Of course!" You say, grinning and he's quick to grab you into a warm hug.

You can't thank Tom enough for getting him bankrupt with his great skills... at cheating in the game of Monopoly.

Can you?

___________

P.S.: Requests are open :) Anyone who wants to request, just shoot me an ask. Response time will be between 1 to 5 days. Also you can send me an ask to get tagged in future fics :) or even ask to get removed :)

Taglist: @asmilinghopefullromantic // @just-a-littlebit-of-everything // @xximaweirdoxx // @jjasalem // @spidergirl007 // @wizliar // @justasmisunderstoodasloki // @veronicas-littleworld // @acceptance07 // @ghostspf // @screeching-student-unknown // @fanficscuziranout // @miraclesoflove // @trustfundparker // @tikapollak // @yourmum792 // @skymoonandstardust // @httplayer // @starlight-starks // @silverwolf-sama // @riz-holland-osterfield // @multifandomdoodles121 // @serendipitous-amor // @viagracex // @halfblood-princess-505 // @parkerpeter24 // @god-knows-what-am-i-doing // @hazardosterfield // @the-crazy-fanfictionist // @lost-aesthetic-of-past //  @lizzyosterfield // @tomhaz

[gfpt-comic]

So. Here goes nothing... (1/?)

(Major spoilers for the comic, but since it won’t update anymore (besides PERHAPS some random comic strips/excerpts without context every now and then, but don’t count on it), I guess it doesn’t matter.)

If you read my answer to the ask posted earlier, you probably know what this post is about. I’ll make a list of every important point I wanted to tackle in the comic, in multiple sections. Be prepared for the long post that awaits you below the cut.

Summary of what was left of Chapter 2

Following their first appearance at the beginning of the chapter, Lolph and Dundgren try to question Blendin, who is staying at a hospital and is still under intense care. They discuss what exactly happened to Blendin in the first place: he was assigned what was supposed to be a routine mission to solve a minor time anomaly in the 21st century, but his time machine exploded when he tried to operate it and he was gravely injured. Dundgren mentions that any normal time device should hardly cause this much damage when malfunctioning, suggesting that Blendin’s level of incompetence is so incredibly high, it somehow managed to make something that shouldn’t be able to explode blow up in his face. On the other hand, Lolph starts to wonder if, exactly because it should be impossible, the accident may have had a reason other than just Blendin’s incompetence. Unfortunately, the accident had consequences so grave on Blendin’s physical health, it seemingly also took a toll on his sanity and questioning him only leaves them with esoteric sentences of dubious credibility.

Blendin: “This is very nice of you… to visit me. There isn’t much time left. I was starting to feel alone, before everything disappears.” Blendin: “Time Baby will succeed… He will free us from this time.”

July 13, 2012 again: back in the gift shop of the Mystery Shack, Wendy and Soos have captured Bill and tied him up to a chair. Wendy starts interrogating him, asking him who or what he is-- throwing in her multiple guesses: the Shapeshifter she defeated with Dipper in the bunker, a paper clone... She doesn’t suspect demon possession or a switch-because-of-the-carpet scenario, however. Bill just keeps trying to break free with little success, without answering; and soon, Stan interrupts them when he enters the gift shop as well, followed by the dozen of tourists he took during his latest tour. Wendy and Soos manage to evade Stan’s obvious questions by pretending they were making a new attraction.

Back in Mabel’s Dreamscape, Mabel encourages Dipper to have some fun with Bill’s powers, but he is scared of messing up because of just how powerful he is; having seen Bill’s powers both in the Mindscape/Dreamscape and in Weirdmageddon when he witnessed the alternate timelines, Dipper knows just how far those powers can go and he isn’t sure he can control them. Still, after some teasing Mabel starts a snowball fight with the surrounding ice cream, and gradually the twins have more and more fun starting with the ice cream, then with the tricks Dipper starts to use. When they take a break, Mabel points out that nothing bad happened, and Dipper grows a bit more confident that he can use Bill’s powers in a way that isn’t dangerous.

Dipper: “I guess it’s easy to do exactly what you want when it literally happens in your mind... Huh.”

Dipper notices it’s almost noon, and Mabel remembers that she was supposed to meet William at Greasy’s Diner for lunch. Mabel is unseasy upon thinking of talking to him again after what happened the day before, and Dipper confirms by showing William’s current whereabouts through a peephole that William seems about as worried as she is. Mabel takes a deep breath, makes sure that she will be able to see Dipper whenever she needs (during the night for sure, perhaps earlier if she asks for it). Still, just before Dipper wakes her up... She has a favor to ask him.

Mabel: “Now that you can do lots of magic stuff and all... Could you do something for me?”

Back in the gift shop, the tourists have left and Bill was untied due to Stan’s confusion over the situation. However, he is forced to stay inside and is stuck sitting by Wendy’s side behind the cashier desk. When Mabel goes through the gift shop to go to the Diner, everyone notices that she made a new sweater -- one with a pine tree symbol on it, no less. Bill is enraged but can’t stop her from leaving.

William has his first face reveal. He is a blonde 13-year-old, and is already waiting worriedly at Greasy’s Diner when Mabel arrives. He immediately apologizes for what happened on the day before.

William: “About yesterday, I... I’m sorry I said your brother was a bad influence. That was uncalled for.”

Mabel: “Yes. Yes it was.”

William is genuinely apologetic, but soon it is revealed that the reason why he thought Dipper and the Mystery Shack were a bad influence was because he doesn’t believe at all in the supernatural. Even if Mabel told him about her adventures, he assumed they were just stories she made up while playing in the Mystery Shack’s museum and never believed them to be true. Mabel tries to convince him by showing him some episodes of Dipper’s “Guide to the Unexplained” -- a series of videos he used to make and post online at the beginning of their summer break upon arriving in Gravity Falls, but stopped making altogether after Summerween. Sadly, the episodes made up until then did not revolve around exceptionally weird anomalies, and aren’t enough to convince William. The only thing William admits to being strange is the fact that every inhabitant of Gravity Falls is “out of their minds.”

Exasperated by William’s absurdly high levels of skepticism, Mabel eventually dares him to go on a forest expedition with her, Candy and Grenda on the next day, just so they can show him pretty much anything in the forest that is out of the ordinary. William strongly refuses and tries to dissuade her to go into the forest at all; he has been personally forbidden by his mother from going anywhere near the forest, and he has also read on the local news that there is currently a predator of unknown origin or species on the loose, which has been notably attacking sheep from the nearby farm. Mabel teases him about the fact that he believes that this creature is real, and suggests that it might be a werewolf for example; but William doesn’t take her seriously, especially because the creature is supposed to fly.

And... This is the part where my script starts getting wonky. I’ve been trying to fill the holes, but sadly it’s proven to be quite difficult, especially now that I know I won’t be drawing it in comic form anyway. Still, the main plot should be precise enough! The holes are mainly just “there should be some filler and/or foreshadowing to what’s coming here”, with little more than just prompts for what could be happening.

Back in the Mystery Shack’s gift shop, Wendy tries to sneakily question Bill, but when Stan asks them where Mabel went and Bill tells him she skipped her restocking duty so she could spend time with William at the Diner, Stan asks him to get her back. Bill happily takes this opportunity to slip out of the Mystery Shack, and have an excuse to bother Mabel at the same time.

Eventually, William is obligated to accept Mabel’s terms and intends on coming so he can at least make sure that the girls won’t put themselves in danger upon visiting the forest on their own.

Bill arrives at the Diner. William, thinking he is meeting Dipper again, tries to make amends for the things he said the previous day and says that he earnestly thinks they can start again on the right foot; Bill sadistically mocks him instead, all the while pretending to be Dipper, just so he can ruin Mabel’s hopes of reconciling William and Dipper. Bill finishes Mabel by forcing her to leave, saying that Stan expects her to work at the gift shop like she was supposed to since the beginning.

Mabel gone, William and Bill start to have a tense conversation; well, tense on William’s part, while Bill is mostly just having a blast driving William mad. The old fanfic that was the first “draft” version of the story has this chapter, which gathers most of the jokes I intended to keep, and at least some of the plot points. I’ll put a warning for awkward English, though. Oh and also, apparently in the old version it was July 3rd and not July 13th, so in the comic the “tomorrow is July 4th so the forest trip can’t happen anyway” excuse wouldn’t work.

About the Quetzalcoatlus thing: here, have some fun dinosaur size comparisons & history following my latest research on what the pterodactyl from S1E18: Land Before Swine.

William: “And how would you even know all that?”

Bill: “Because I ate Leonardo da Vinci.”

William: “. . .”

William: “… It must have been some VERY cryptic way for you to say that it was one of those conspiracy things mentioned in the old book supposedly written by a genius that you keep reading passionately every day. Right?”

Bill: “Oh, so your brain CAN work sometimes!”

Bill gets bit by a soothquito. His bite marks spell “FHOASE CORECULLY“

Upon leaving the Diner, they both see someone being kidnapped by a member of the Blindeye Society. William insists they immediately go warn the police, but Blubs and Durland prove to be ineffective as ever. Bill slips in one or two facts about the secret society, but William dismisses them completely as other random insane things Bill just happens to say all the time for trolling purposes.

Mabel is back in the Mystery Shack and starts her restocking duty, but her mind is clearly elsewhere. She starts mumbling to herself, but is interrupted by the decapitated head of Larry King who just happened to be in the vents nearby. Mabel isn’t surprised at all to see he survived, and when Larry King starts "interviewing” her about the issues she was mumbling about, she complies. Some time later, while Soos is cleaning up the floor, he overhears Mabel complaining about Bill being a jerk on purpose and making Dipper seem like a terrible person, and ends up hearing pretty much the whole story that way, without Mabel knowing. Soos proceeds to tell Wendy what he heard, helping them putting two and two together-- all the while understanding why Mabel didn’t warn them, and why they should stay silent as well. They decide not to tell Mabel they know her secret; but when Bill comes back later, just as Wendy’s shift was about to end, she has just one thing to tell him:

Wendy: “Tomorrow 6PM. My place.”

Night time; Bill is annoyed, but not very surprised by the fact that Soos is sleeping with him  for the night, in the room on the ground floor where Dipper had relocated. Bill is at least glad he no longer has to pretend to be Dipper around Wendy and him.

Soos proceeds to ask Bill what his intentions were; not just in the present times now that the switch occurred, but also before it.

Soos: “So you really are that triangle guy from two weeks ago?”

Soos: “Now that I'm thinking about it… A lot of things happened two weeks ago. That's when it began to get all wrong. Well, it was already wrong before that, but… That's really when you came that everything started to get all weird and… bad.“

Soos: “It all started because of that Summerween night. What did you want with us?”

Soos: “Why did you tell Dipper that Gideon summoned you?”

Bill: “It was just a job. Jobs are boring. There’s no fun in it if nobody’s trying to stop you.”

Bill: “Oh, and you wanna know the best part? If you’d taken Shooting Star along with you instead of going just the two of you, perhaps you would’ve had an opportunity to beat me.”

Soos: What did you do with Gideon two weeks ago? Dipper and I knew it wasn’t a coincidence that those government guys showed up just the next day. 

Bill: “Something that neither Pine Tree nor I want anybody to find out, I bet. Also if I were to tell you, you'd either faint or spend the next fourteen hours trying to explain it all to Red. Funny, but not worth it.”

Soos is disturbed by Bill’s attitude, because of course he tries to both troll and traumatize at once, and given how Soos was already terrified of Bill because of the Summerween night (”I’ve had nightmares for weeks!” from an earlier comic page), it doesn’t help. Soos tries to ask Bill about the deal he made with Gideon -- more specifically, he asks what Bill wanted in return for stealing the code from Stan’s mind. However, Bill doesn’t answer and instead opens the bedroom door to reveal that Mabel was trying to eavesdrop.

Mabel was mostly there to make sure that everything was alright, and deduces that Bill hadn't slept at all during the first night and that he intends to never sleep at all, even after she tells him that humans need sleep to survive. Thankfully she came prepared with a “surprise gift from Candy and Grenda”, and sprays Bill with Fairy Dust.

Mabel: “There’s probably enough in that bag to knock out a gremloblin in an instant, so I think he’s good for the night. :p”

Once Bill is asleep, Dipper takes this chance to come to his Dreamscape and talk to him one-on-one; and, he is not happy at how Bill treated Mabel so far. Still, after a certain point the conversation gets to a more pressing topic.

Bill: “You saw it happen, didn’t you?”

Bill: “Weirdmageddon. You saw it, right?”

Dipper: “. . .”

Bill: “Oh-ho, even better! There’s a timeline in which YOU make it happen, isn’t there?”

Dipper: “That’s not gonna happen.”

Bill: “Look kid, take it from me. The more you try to actively prevent a specific outcome, the more likely you usually make it happen.”

Dipper: “You can’t make something happen if you specifically stop everything that can lead to it from happening first.”

Dipper: “Even if it includes lying to Mabel…  I saw it. If she learns there’s a way to get me a physical form, she’ll try anything to make it happen and disregard the consequences. I bet she trusts me to keep things under control, but everything else? There’s just... There’s too many variables. We can’t let her know anything about the portal. Or Weirdmageddon.”

Bill: “Well, that doesn’t change anything from my original plan anyway.”

Bill: “So you’re just gonna stay in the Nightmare Realm forever, is that it?”

Dipper: “That’s not much of a plan so far, but that’s still an effective way to save the world.”

Bill: “Don’t mess with me. You DO know that if you don’t make your way to another dimension eventually, you’re just going to die, right?”

Dipper: “... W-what are you talking about?”

Bill: “Wait. You REALLY didn’t figure that out yet?”

Bill: “The Nightmare Realm is unstable. It’s just gonna collapse one of these days, destroy everything in it. Could be in a billion years. Could be tomorrow.”

After leaving Bill’s Dreamscape, Dipper decides to visit Wendy’s and tell her everything. He confirms her doubts, tells her the whole story with the carpet... And he tells her about Weirdmageddon and what Bill just told him about the Nightmare Realm.

Dipper: “I mean, it’s better this way for everyone, and of course I’m not gonna go with Bill’s original plan to destroy the laws of physics or whatever, but… I-I just don’t wanna die, you know?”

Wendy: “Don’t worry. We’ll find a way.”

> Summary of chapters 3 and 4

[miraculousandbts]

Jungkook | Best Fansign Ever

Summary: You decide to surprise your boyfriend by going to his Fansign.

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None

You were ready. Wallet? Check. Phone? Check. Purse? Check. Album? Check. Fansign ticket? Check. You were being a little too serious about this.

No, you weren't some fan who finally got the chance to go to a Fansign. You were dating one of the boys. Who? The youngest of them. It all started two years ago when you bumped into a stranger on the road. It weird enough that he was wearing a full-sleeved shirt on such a hot day, but on top of that, he had a mask, a pair of sunglasses, and a bucket hat. And a few tufts of blue hair were visible.

'Blue hair? Weird. He must be a die-heart fan of k-pop...or he just really wanted to dye his hair? Why do I care anyway? People can do what they want to.' you thought, as you bent down to pick up the papers which had fallen down from your hand. You had been sitting in a café where you had suddenly gotten an idea for a new comic, and you just had to scribble it down— more like roughly draw it down— on the small pieces of paper you carried around with you for such occasions.

He bent down as the same time as you with the same intentions as you, and picked up the other papers. "You drew these?" He just couldn't help asking, after seeing your rough sketches. They were pretty as it is, and he could imagine how beautiful they would be with touch ups.

"Uh, yeah." You awkwardly replied. "These are good." He didn't know what else to say. "Thank you." You gave him a grin. "I'll just go."

He moved past you, but something pulled you both back. You glanced at your wrist, and saw that a thread from his shirt was stuck in your bracelet. "Oh, sorry." You apologised and proceeded to try to take the thread out. Keyword: tried. He came closer so it would be easy, but you just couldn't figure out what to do. You didn't notice him move his hand to help you.

Instead, you thought how it was a thread, so you could just snap it. Without thinking twice, you wrapped your finger around the length of the thread and broke it. And that's when you noticed his hand mid air, frozen. He clearly wasn't expecting you to do so, that much you could tell, but because his whole face was covered up, you couldn't see his expression.

It took him a couple of seconds to register what happened. Then he gently placed his fingers on your bracelet and untangled the now cut-off thread from it, throwing it away after he was done.

"Thanks...?" You trailed off, indicating to him that you wanted to know his name. Without thinking, he said, "Jeon Jungkook." And then he proceeded to freak out. "No, no, no. Jung Jungkook, Jung Jungkook. Shit, hyung will kill me." He muttered the last part under his breath.

All of this was enough for you to figure out he was Jungkook from BTS. You wouldn't call yourself a die-heart fan, but you liked their music, and respected them a lot. He let out a noise sounding similar to 'nnnng' (I'm not good with describing noises...), and flattened his bucket hat against the sides of his face in frustration. At this point, he could only hope you weren't a fan or a netizen who would be able to recognise him.

His very noisy way of showing his exasperation was attracting a lot of attention. You subtly glanced around, and made a decision. You grabbed his wrist unintentionally hard, and pulled him with you to your house which was a five minute walk away. All this time, he kept following you without showing any signs of resisting. You only left his hand as you searched for your keys in your bag, and pulled him in after you opened the door.

After making sure the door was securely locked, you threw yourself on the sofa. Your one bedroom apartment wasn't anything extravagant, but it was yours. It was cozy, pretty, warm in winters, and cool in summer. And you had a balcony, as an added bonus. You glanced at the frozen boy still standing near the door, and patted the space next to you, where he timidly came and sat down.

"You can take off all this stuff now. I can only imagine how much you're sweating." You moved your arm gesturing to his head. He cautiously took off the mask, the sunglasses, and the hat. "I don't bite. Chill." You raised an amused eyebrow in his direction when you saw how hesitant he was.

"S-sorry. Why did you bring me here?"

"Well, you were freaking out cuz you told me your real name, and it was noisy enough to attract attention. Now, we wouldn't want paparazzi to trample either of us, would we?

"No." He silently agreed. "Thank you." He added as an afterthought. "It's okay. Make yourself at home. You hungry?" You finally got motivation enough to get up and do something. He nodded while pink dusted his cheeks.

'Adorable' was the only thing you could think in that moment. You changed and made both of you a little snack. To repay your kindness, he gave you his number and left. And well, the rest of it is history.

*****

You reached the event venue, and went in. It was easy for you to mingle in the crowd; you had to make sure you were not visible to Jungkook.

Sitting on the farthest chair from the main table as possible, you kept your head low, and glanced up every once in a while. Jungkook was the first person sitting there, which coincidentally just helped your plan. "Hey, you're y/n, right?" You turned your head towards the origin of the sound.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm y/n."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to surprise Kookie. He came back from the tour, but didn't go to Seoul, so I just thought I'd come here."

"Aw, that's so sweet of you!"

You lightly chuckled at her awing. You both made small talk while your chance came. She went ahead of you after some time of chatting.

You got up, still making sure not a single boy could see you. It was easy, considering there were so many fans there. You saw the girl you were talking to earlier come your way and raised your eyebrows. She silently came and stood in front of you, showing you her back, muttering one word. "Cover." You could practically hear the wink in her voice.

You smiled to yourself and whispered a grateful thanks.

It was finally your turn. When you sat down in front of Jungkook, he was looking down reading something, smiling at the book, while in his hand he held a cute rabbit plushie. 'Of course they'd give Kookie a bunny plushie.' you subconsciously smiled at the thought.

He looked up, and his eyes widened, while his jaw dropped. He was definitely not expecting that. Seriously.

"Hello, Jungkook oppa."

His expression went from shocked to deadpan in less than a fraction of a second. "Seriously? We see each other for the first time in months and that's what you call me?" He raised his eyebrows. "Why are you getting mad at me, oppa," you pouted. "I just wanted to get this album I bought some time ago signed."

He sighed and played along. He knew you, inside out. Which meant he also knew that you wouldn't acknowledge him as your boyfriend as long as he didn't play along. He took the album and smiled a small smile while signing it. He had missed you. You and your super annoying but kinda cute antics. He finished signing it, and passed it to Taehyung and then leaned forward a little.

"So, miss y/n, how have you been?" He did his cute lil head tilt and almost melted your heart.

"I've been good, thanks bun bun."

You had never seen him smile so big. He got up and so did you, attracting almost everyone's attention. The boys and the fans started recognising you, and cheered as you both moved towards each other for a big tight hug. "I missed you." He sighed. "I missed you too, Kook."

You pecked his lips and heard the members making sounds of disgust, which, by the way, only made both of you grin harder. You looked towards the crowd and saw that girl again, grinning and giving you a thumbs up. She winked as you gave her a slight grateful nod.

The rest of your day was spent with him and the other boys, enjoying the warmth you got when you were with your boyfriend and your closest friends.

[chipsfics]

Part 1 - Introduction/Invitation

Part one of my currently-unnamed Inanimate Insanity fanfiction :)! Feat. Tissues and Yinyang. Some shipping but not a whole lot ;)

Rated: PG (A few heavy themes)

Hope you enjoy and much more to come !! :D

~~~~

Unlike Tissues, Yinyang knew he was going to be eliminated. Yin did, at least. He figured after a certain amount of time, the viewers just saw him as... Annoying. He had used up his entertainment value- Inanimate Insanity had packaged and squeezed dry his "quirks" of any and all comedy until they were just problems again. He was sure his other half knew elimination was at least a possibility- He was probably too preoccupied with his own thoughts, which sometimes blended together with Yin's. A lot of... "Everyone here hates me," and "I hate everyone here." Seemed like the situation was stressing them both out.

Weeks later, After they were all freed from the closet, Yinyang watched the episode where he was eliminated. Yinyang cried, not because he lost, but something kind of got tangled in his brain watching the way he acted. He was grinding his teeth watching the playback, Yang holding back tears and Yin letting them flow freely. If only, if only, if only. Needless to say, he didn't really remember a lot about what happened cooped up in that tiny closet. He mostly hid in the corner and tried not to grind his teeth down to his gums. Tissues, on the other hand, barely knew what was going on. One place to another, off a plane, rushing from iceberg to dodgeball court, grass field to bleachers- Next thing he knew he sneezed himself through a portal and ended up cooped up in a closet. Once the dizzy feeling cleared and he ended up face down, alone, in an empty closet with a locked door- One thing was abundantly clear: He lost. As usual. When another contestant stepped through the portal, the relief he felt was overwhelming- and as the closet filled up with eliminated contestants, the sense of relief he felt was replaced by self loathing and shame- Everyone else pretty much all hated him. As usual.

When they finally got a breath of fresh air, space to move around, personal rooms and even a breakfast juice bar- After everyone who came in contact with him was thoroughly sprayed down by Soap, nobody hated him anymore. They just didn't talk to him. Although, when he walked in the hallway, Soap would follow a safe distance behind him and clean where he last stepped with disinfectant. That didn't really help his self-esteem.

One quiet afternoon, everyone was still trying to settle into their new (but much nicer) living situations, Tissues got paired with the roommate who hated him the most. One Trophy horseplay, who was the one who stomped his face in more than a couple times while stuck in the closet. Of course, due to the technological advancements of melife, Mephone brought him back immediately after he got the death notification- bzz-ding, Tissues died again, to Trophy's frustration. Living with Trophy, he tried to keep all of his stuff in one corner- And he was kind of being shoved over by Trophy's ever-growing collection of sports equipment. Apparently he had nowhere to put it except for cluttering up their shared bedroom. He didn't have much things anyway- and he spent most of his time in the front game room. Tissues, Yinyang, and a few wanderers in and out every day in that same room, that same dinky game system, the same 4 outdated platforming games. He didn't remember the names of those old things, and he wasn't great at them anyway- It'd surprise you, but he didn't have the best hand-eye-coordination. 

Yinyang was also bad at them. He'd argue and curse and throw the controller and tug at the wires, Tissues would follow slowly behind him in co-op play. It was fun to play with someone who had the same skill level as he did, and it seemed like Yinyang had mellowed out a little from his appearance on the show- Having a bit more freedom and alone time seemed to make Yang calm down and Yin become cheerier and more friendly. If Tissues could say one Inanimate Insanity contestant was his friend- It was Yinyang. They had something big and terrifying in common- They were both freaks. The unlovable tend to find a way to love each other.

~~~~

Yaaaawn. Tissues stretched and looked at the clock- 11:30, about 3 hours earlier than when he usually woke up. He wiped the drool off his face, got up and feverishly brushed his teeth. He realized the breakfast bar was still open for another 30 minutes- More like 25 now that he'd dragged himself out of bed. OJ wasn't the world's most attentive hotel owner, but the breakfast bar seemed like something he was passionate about. There were rumors that he refilled the cereal dispensers by himself and doesn't let anyone else do it. Soap always threw a fit when someone else did the chores for her, although she seemed to have a quiet respect for OJ's breakfast bar. Tissues took the elevator down- He didn't trust himself to go down the stairs because of his vertigo. Lo and behold, someone else bumped into his hand reaching for the down arrow. It was Yinyang! 

"O-oh, go ahead, you first," Tissues said bashfully. 

"No, you first!" Yin chirped. "I assume we're both going down?" 

"Yeah, I'm gonna try and catch the last wave of breakfast, guyse. I'm not usually up this... SNIFF. Early," Tissues said, and jammed his finger into the down button, which started to glow a faint yellow.

"Wait, is the free breakfast thing still open?" Yinyang said, "The one where you can make waffles with the little do-it-yourself waffle iron?" 

"Is that what that is? I thought it was just a weird smoothie dispenser. I thought the stuff that came out of it tasted like waffle batter," He sniffed.

Yinyang laughed. Tissues would have been peeved, but it didn't seem like Yinyang was laughing AT him. That, or just the fact that his laugh was crisp and clear as a ringing bell. Tissues didn't think he heard him genuinely laugh a whole ton of times. It was nice. 

As they waited for the elevator to come up, Tissues noticed one of Yinyang's eyes blinking and drooping. Yang's side seemed to be sleepier than Yin's- His body lagging to one side until he had to jerk back into a standing position. Was it possible for one half to fall asleep and the other half to stay awake? DING. Tissues' train of thoughts was interrupted by the elevator door sliding open. They stepped in, and for the entire ride down Tissues fought as hard as he could not to sneeze- In a closed place like an elevator, that could be very annoying. More annoying than usual. The elevator ride was mostly silent and awkward- It seemed that Yang almost tried to fight on what button to press, but he was too tired and hungry to cause any trouble this early. It was a Saturday after all, the slowest days in the hotel, and once they made it downstairs to the breakfast bar, there didn't seem to be many contestants looking for something to eat so late. Tissues grabbed a paper plate and put a blueberry muffin on it, and got a small paper cup of orange juice. He noticed Yin and Yang were having some sort of quiet argument about what to get for a drink. Tissues couldn't help but overhear-

"Coffee." Yang spoke in a harsh whisper. "Not today, Water." Yin replied. "Coffee." "Juice, then." "Ok, Fine." "Apple juice." "I want orange." "Not today. Apple Juice feels more..." "Pure?" "Yeah." "Bull." "Let's just get our food, I'm too tired to argue." "..." "..." "Me too." 

Tissues seemed distracted, until Yinyang moved down the line and bumped him further down. He looked away, face flushed, and moved to the couch, flicking on the TV- He felt like he had just intruded on Yinyang's privacy, but Yinyang didn't seem to care. He'd grabbed apple juice and a pastry of some kind, filled with cream cheese. Yinyang and Tissues ate together, Tissues sitting on the carpet and Yinyang on the couch close by, both staring at the gameshow program that was playing on TV- something that aired often, it was starting to get old. That and the fact that the episodes are hard to tell apart. Same host every time, same backdrop, same formula. Because of this, Tissues' mind couldn't help but wander, and so did his eyes. Yinyang was focused intently on the tv, one hand, Yin's, tapping the sides of the paper cup and the other, Yang's, lifting the pastry to his mouth and taking a bite. They seemed to have figured out a good way to eat without arguing. 

"So," Tissues said, breaking the silence.

"Yes?" Yin said politely. 

"Can i sit next to you guyse?" Tissues asked. Yinyang looked a bit puzzled.

"Sure. Why not?" Yinyang said, "Just try not to get any of your germs on me." Yang grumbled. Yin pinched his arm. "Don't be rude," Yang growled, but once Tissues got up and hopped up onto the couch cushion next to him, Yang seemed to have forgotten about it. Tissues was so short he had to put in a lot of effort to get onto the couch- It was almost comical. Because of that, he preferred to sit on the ground. People seemed to prefer him down there anyway. It was kind of nice, up there, though, and honestly the only thing he felt different was... More comfortable, and taller. It was nice. He hadn't even noticed the TV program changing from the game show to an ad break- some kind of infomercial on chairs. 

"Sooo.... Do you want to go and check out the pool today? I've heard that there's like, complimentary towels. I haven't actually been there yet," Tissues said.

"Are you... asking us to hang out with you?" Yinyang said curiously. 

"Well sure," Tissues smiled. "We're friends, right?"

"Umm..." Yinyang's face flushed a bright red. "Of course!" Yin chimed. 

"Whatever." Yang added, clenching his jaw and slightly baring his sharp teeth.

"I just didn't wanna show up alone. Can you swim?" He asked. Yinyang looked away.

"Not really," He said, embarrassed. "It takes a lot of coordination, and Yin hates listening." Yang said aggresively. Yin glared at his other half. 

"Ohhh thats cool. I can't either," Tissues replied. "I was just planning on sitting by the side. Maybe putting my feet in- Its just nice to have like... uhh. SNIFF. Change of scenery... I like the chlorine smell." 

"Well that sounds nice!" Yinyang said. "But we need to go back to our room first, Right?" Yang sounded like he was directing the question less towards Tissues and more towards Yin. 

"Oh. Well that's ok. I'm here all day," Tissues said, pulling his mouth into a goofy half-smile. Yinyang finished off his apple juice and got up, silently turned and smiled towards Tissues, and walked away. Tissues wondered what he was thinking about. 

~~~~

[popculturebuffet]

Final Space: And Into The Fire Review or Now with 110% More Homoerotic Telepathy

Welcome  new and old to my first Final Space review! If you’ve never seen the blog before, and given this is the first “new” series i’ve covered as it come out in some time that’s probably quite a few of you, welcome. I’m Jake, I do recaps and reviews of various animated shows and comics, mostly just stuff I want to do, often on comission (5 dollars an episode if theres any episode of the first two seasons of this show or any episode of any other show you’d like tos ee me cover), or for my patreon patreon.com/popculturebuffet. And it is my utmost honor to add this show to my rotating roster of shows I cover as they come out. 

I friggin love Final Space. I was intrigued by it back when TBS released the animatics alongside Close Enough (Wth the two shows ironically finally together on HBO max as of earlier this month), for their doomed block. I heard a lot of good things about season 1.. and let it get away from me, not watching it till Season 2. But both seasons had more than enough to pull me in with intriguging characters, even greater jokes and a truly unique idea for a premise involving giant monsters, an edltrich god and lots of cookies. 

So while it took an extra year given Covid, I’m super friggin pumped to get into season 3 at long last after the hell of a cliffhanger, especially since ironically last night I saw Steven Yeun’s oscar nominated performance in “Minari”. Now i get to watch him play a cat teenager again too.. and in a few days Mark friggin Grayson. It’s a good week to be a fan of his is what i’m saying and a good week in general. 

Previously on Final Space Yo!: Since it’s been a year and while the series provides  a recap , I’m going to be doing these anyway so:

Our heroes finally got all 5 dimensional keys and freed Bolo, and in the process also freed Avacato from Invictus, the horrifying entity controlling final space. Meanwhile Tribore got Sheryl to stop being a selfish prick and she joined the team trying to be a better mother from now on. But freeing Bolo came at a high cost as Nightfall sacrified herself as the sixth key (KVN was natrually both Gary and Bolo’s first choice, but was inllegible. ) So we ended the season with our heroes entering Final Space and Gary reuniting with Quinn.... while Invictus loomed. So over a year later we finally get some answers so join me under the cut for spoilers, recaps, and homoerotic text ahoy. 

Something i’m doing since both the roster keeps changing.. and as I correctly guessed from the trailer, and the general tone of the promos for this season, that everyone won’t be all together all season.. or even in one piece.. i’ll be doing a silver age style roll call to let us know who all we have on the Team Squad for the episode Roll Call: Gary, Quinn, Avacato, Little Cato, Ash, Fox, KVN, HUE, AVA, Sheryl, Bolo, and Tribore

So we pick up right where we left off, Gary tearfully reuniting with Quinn, with Quinn wishing he hadn’t come for her, and Gary being Gary naturally having ignored that, and actually been more determined since that made it forbidden which made it extra tempting and him want to extra do it. God I missed this glorious idiot let me tell you. 

So things are quickly interrupted by invictus, who turns out to be a giant flaming head.. thing... and chases them and the crimson light, which has to start speeding with our heroes tethered to the outside, Quinn holding onto Gary. 

So we get one hell of a thrilling chase as the Crimson Light outspeeds the demon head and runs into two titans, but Bolo shows up to take out one, with Mooncake trying his dimension shattering blast thingy on Invictus.. and naturlaly g ven this is the big bad we need to show off how horrying they are, and it does NOTHING. But Gary catches his little buddy so we’re alright. 

Sheryl also shows off her badass bonafieds by LIGHTFOLDING THROUGH A TITAN... granted she still has some parenting skills to learn as “lightfolding while your son is hanging out the back through an edltrich god” really isn’t a motherly thing to do.. but neither is trying to murder your child several times or blaming him for how shitty your life turned out so ANYTHING is a step up for her. 

But.. it’s not enough. While she does manage to kill ONE the Crimson Light is too badly damaged to go on and we get two tragic deaths in one go... The Team Squad is forced to abandon the Crimson Light.. and AVA is too damaged to Upload into HUE. “I’m Sad” “For who?” “For you.. and for us. “ God damn Tom Kenny is amazing. You don’t need me telling you that, but sometimes you need a reminder. 

So our heroes end up on a desolate mystery world, stranded in final space with no ship, no suplies and no hope. The only thing to do now is survivie and hope they can continue the mission at some point. 

ONE MONTH LATER

Things have not gotten any better, as naturally , our heroes have only found weird cartoon eyed worms that regrow their heads when you bite them off. So while this means unlimited food, it’s also disgusting and Garry hates it. “This may be a head but it tastes like a butt”. Quinn and Tribore are with him and Quinn hasn’t been ready to talk about her experiences trapped in this hellscape and still isn’t but being a good dude, Gary dosen’t push her on it. Though the weird red veiny thing on her arm tells me maybe one of you should speed that up before she explodes or gets cronnenburgy. Just saying. I’ll also say i’m not huge on the one month time skip, as while I feel they probably have a reason for being that specific i’ts a bit TOO long and I question why have that long a period of a jump, not the longest but still long enough for things to happen with nothing changingin that time? Still it’s a minor nitpick in an otherwise fantastic episode so I can let it go, I just don’t get it. 

What we do get is some Gary Corpses dropping and Invictius puppeting them... i’m with gary that is bowel openingly scary. I also do like how despite the FAR more dire circumstances, they still get in the requisite shenanigans this series requires. I’ts not to the network mandated subplot levels where it distracts, but it’s enough to help ease the terror of the situation and isn’t around for situations like the opening where it really SHOULDN’T be. As the series always has when something big happens, the bollocks goes away. Once we’re in between we can get back to literal pissing contests, KVN leading a crowd to their deaths and HUE in a pimp hat like god intended. 

So yeah our heroes have to outrun the horrible horde of Gary’s, though Little Cato catches on something’s wrong as Tribore makes gary cary him as foreshadowing for later and Sends mooncake down to asssit. Our heroes escape.. but a cave in happens.

After the break, Gary wakes up confused with the party now split in two: Gary, Quinn, KVN, Tribore and HUE on one side and Avacato, Ash, Fox, Little Cato and Sheryl on the other. So Gary does the logical thing... and take his shirt off telling Avacato to feel him. 

I mean I didn’t even ship them before this scene but... Gary claims because of their bond he can telepahtically connect with Avacato. That’s normal Gary shenanigans.. except not only does he shrug off his girlfriend asking why they can’t do that.. but it WORKS. We have a scene of the two telepahtically talking in a wheatfield that is so homerotic I guarantee there only wasn’t the Careless Whisper sax because they couldn’t afford it.. or their saving it for later this season. Look sometimes you don’t ship a ship because you just.. dont’ care that strongly one way or another and sometimes you just need an incredibly gay scene to see the light. Same thing happened with Weblena same thing here. 

Fox also says “that was glorious to watch” same man. That was freaking art. So our heroes split up into three plots. As usual for me

Team Gary: So yeah... Triobore’s pregnant. No way to really softball into that. He’s been pregnant this whole time. So we get a stupid and mildly horrifying gross out sequence with Gary having to look Triobore in teh eyes and Quinn having to “uncork him”. Which is code for ... you know what i’m not going to say it. If you’ve seen the episode you know and if not your better off not visualizing it trust me. Point is this whole sequence is dumb and the worst part of the episode by far. And the series CAN do good gross out. While Olan Rodgers regrets it, the pissing contest was one of the funniest scenes of season 2, and managed to make a gross idea on paper actually pretty damn funny. This.. this is just “Haha males giving birth and tribore’s an asshole”. There’s no joke here just a .. plug. .. gah.. the vomit is rising let me tell you. 

We do get something good out of this nightmare, Tribore’s son who hatches as the army of gary’s dig their way in, Quanstranstro, who rapidly ages into a stylsih spanish speaking adult badass. He is fucking awesome and a great addition to the team and the sheer.. oddity of his birth is wonderful even if the actual birthing was not. Then the climax happens so before that. 

Team Avacato:

Avacato and Co come across a sleeping giant robot cyborg .. thingy. Naturally Fox wakes him up. Little Cato remains not suprised. It occelates between panicking over it’s legs being gone and amenisa and is pretty damn funny. It’s voiced by John Dimagio. But it gets serious as we find out nothing has ever made it out of final space, and things.. change the longer there there. And Quinn’s been there several months if not a year. Whuh oh. This part is much better both due to better jokes and plot advancment.. though again Quanstrano is still fucking amazing. 

Team Bolo: Bolo meanwhile returns and fights a titan, and has mooncake help him rather htan join the others, but looses, hitting the planet with his body.. I mean he might not get back up.. but the impact shatters the caverns and causes an explosion. Everyone but Gary, Quinn, KVN and HUE are MIA, as our remaining party find earth floating overhead. 

TO BE CONTINUED> 

Final Thoughts: A decent start to the season. Like I said the whole birthing sequence can die in a fire and reminds me of the terrible comedy subplots adult swim wanted grafted onto two episodes.. but otherwise it’s a tense stark opener that sets up the bleak tone while still keeping the series rediciulous shenanigans in tact. It’s the perfect welcome back after so long. I mean the gay telepathy alone would make it a winner. 

Next Time on This Blog: We dive into a little history with HIsteria. See you at the next rainbow. 

[sxveme-2]

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Unedited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Twenty Nine: The One With the Weeks After

Warnings: Weight loss

Word Count: 2135

    The first week was the easiest. She busied herself with work, made sure to tell Hunter everything and keep him in the loop. Cleaned the house until there was nothing left. At night she'd scrub the floors until her fingers bled. She'd go to bed around 2 in the morning every night. Rose tried to get her to go earlier, but she knew that Lily needed a bit. Needed time to process the end of the relationship she thought was the one. The one that would fix what had been done to her all those years ago.

Things declined over the following month. The hospital made Lily take stress leave. She stopped eating normally, and would simply make Hunter breakfast before returning to her office to force herself into working on letters she knew wouldn't help her case. Lily kept herself distracted also by helping Rose search for apartments for when her baby came, and Gen revamp the menu for her cafe.

When the first of May came around, Lily knew she had broken herself that day she told him to get out. And now, she sat in her bed as the clock struck 3am, Joey snoring softly at the end of the bed. In her hands she gripped onto the letters he had written her, gripping them to the point she was sure they'd rip. Her tears stained them, smearing the ink as she stared at his words.

-----

"Lily please," his voice broke as he stood from the couch, walking towards the blonde, "Please don't do this."

"You made me a promise, Bucky," Lily whispered, taking a step back from the advancing man, "and I can't handle it. You know for a fact that you're not done with this life."

"I am, baby please," he whispered, halting his steps a meter or so away from her, "I'm done with it all."

"I'll have your stuff dropped off at your apartment," Lily stated, her voice shaking as she dropped her keys onto the half wall, turning her back to the Avenger and taking a few steps up the stairs, "Goodbye, Bucky."

-----

A choked sob racked through her chest as Lily balled up the paper and chucked it at the mirror across from her bed. Her eyes wandered from the paper on the floor upwards, staring at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were hollow and hair wiry. Her collarbones seemed more prominent and her chest heaved as she struggled to bring air into her lungs. On her chest still sat that damn necklace. The one she tried to take off but could never manage to. It sat against her sunken chest, shining bright against her shallow skin.

She remembered the mornings she'd wake up to him leaning over her, fingers wrapped around the silver pendent, admiring it against her supple skin of the good times. Now it just sat there like a jail sentence. Because she knew there would be no moving on from him. His touch, his smell, his words. The way he would hold her.

She longed for the feeling of his hair between her fingers. His breath against her cheek. His head ducked into her neck as she admired him as he slept peacefully at ungodly hours of the night. His smile. His eyes. The stubble on his chin.

Lily remembered the day she wished that she could sit in his lap and trim it. Months later she lived that same fantasy. Him chuckling as she scrunched her nose and intently focused on the harder to reach areas. The rumble deep in his chest vibrating through her like a warm blanket being draped onto her shoulders. How his arms draped along her thighs and fingers traced circles on her hips.

He was gone though. And Lily didn't have the strength to fight for him back.

-----

"Hey what do you want for your birthday, Lil?" Gen asked as she finished cleaning up the table from dinner, sending Hunter off to play outside with the neighbourhood kids.

"Nothing." Lily shrugged, finishing drying off a cup as she avoided her best friends pointed gaze.

"A new necklace, perhaps?" Gen tested, dancing carefully along Lily's guarded mind.

"I have a necklace." She stated simply, placing the rest of the dishes in their respective cupboards before drying her hands.

"Well your birthdays in three days and I'm not getting you nothing," Gen continued, taking a few steps closer to the blonde, "Can I at least offer to cook you dinner at the cafe?"

"Sounds good to me." Lily nodded, closing the cupboards and walking past Gen, shutting the door to her office and slumping into her desk chair.

-----

Lily stared down at the stack of letters that sat on her desk. It was May 2nd, two days from her birthday. Her birthday present to herself was something she read online. Write letters to your past love and then burn or bury them, to cut the ties. She wasn't sure if she would go through with it. She didn't want to burn the memories of him. They hurt her, but she cherished them. She never wanted to forget him, but she had convinced herself she had to in order for her to find true happiness. Or so the blog she read said.

"April 10th

It's been a week since I said goodbye to you. The words still feel foreign to me. It's weird waking up without you by my side. I can't believe I'm saying it but I miss your snoring. Miss your bedhead.

Hunter knows what happened. He's heartbroken, but I don't think he'll show it very much. Moreso for my sake than his own. I don't blame him. I'm sure he sees the same broken mother he saw all those years ago.

But this one hurts a bit more. Because you were supposed to be the one. I thought you were the one. I still think you are. And I loved you.

I love you"

She traced the tears stains that marked the paper. Her fingers grazing gently over the final three words. Three words she was too much of a coward to properly say. Instead, she made him guess them. Made him say them first in the same format. Writing. Three words she couldn't say, now permanently on paper. Lily's hands shook as she put the first page down, picking up the one just beneath it.

"April 15th,

Hunter asked me if I was okay today. The same way you used to. He put his hand on top of mine and let me stare down at my lap as I calculated my answer. His face reminds me of you. Soft and tender, but something always at work behind it. His eyes may be mine, but the thoughts behind it have become yours.

You always took the father figure role so seriously. I never understood why. I loved it, but it never truly made sense to me. He wasn't yours. But when I look at him now, I see more of him in you than I ever did Scott.

He may not have been yours through blood, but he is yours through heart. And he knows me inside and out, even when I feel like I don't know myself. My own thoughts betray me sometimes with Hunter. I feel like sometimes I say things to him because I long to talk to you.

He's your son, through and through. Even if DNA betrays that. But I took your son away from you. And I'm sorry. But I can't risk him."

Her fingers pinched the bridge of her nose, as though she thought it would stop the tears. A large ball formed in Lily's throat, and she wanted to scream and let it out, but she couldn't. Not with Hunter around. Not with Gen in the other room. Not with Rose so close to her own due date. She was mere weeks away from it, and here Lily sat, wallowing in her own self pity. Laying in the mess she made herself.

She picked up the third letter.

"April 25th,

I thought it would get easier over time. That the hurt would heal itself at some point. But as I sat at my desk today, I knew it wouldn't go away. It may numb, it may become distant, but there will always be an open space where you used to be.

Rose told me that I should consider therapy, perhaps. But I'm not sure talking about the love I feel for you is possible. The sheer strength of it is something that terrifies me. I'm scared that voicing it will make it stronger.

You took over every part of me. Your smell, your words, you. Every morning I would wake up feeling happy to face another day, because you were there. Whether beside me or just in the city. You were there. And you were mine. But now, you're not. You may already be someone else's for all I know. I haven't dared ask Sam or anyone.

I don't think I'd survive hearing that.

Knowing that you're giving yourself to someone else the same way you gave yourself to me. Knowing that they return the same things I still feel for you. The same feelings that I couldn't voice to you.

But who am I to be upset? I'm the one who ended it. I'm the one who said goodbye, and turned my back without a second thought plaguing my mind until it was too late.

It's still too late."

Staring at her words, Lily slammed her hand down onto the light wood of her desk. She did this. It was her own fault that he was gone. Because when Lily asked something, he always listened. But the one time he asked her to listen to him, she threw him out. She said goodbye. She let him walk out because she was too stubborn to just listen.

Pulling the cap of her pen off, Lily pulled out a few pieces of paper. Her hand shook violently as she signed the date at the top, before pouring out everything she was always too scared to say onto the paper.

-----

May 3rd rolled around mere hours later. Lily sat in her bed once again as the clock struck 2, and she stared at herself in her mirror. Eyes swollen, glasses crooked, face fallen. Her entire body seemed to be falling at once. Her chest was fallen, her shoulders frail. Her skin seemed lifeless. She was merely existing at this point. She still was a mother, she cooked, cleaned, and talked to Hunter. But when the door closed in her room for the night, her body fell into a droop. She shuffled to her bed without bothering to worry about her makeup, if she even decided to do any recently. Nothing about Lily was herself. She had become a husk. Simply a vessel to walk her head and heart around from room to room.

She missed him so much. She wanted him back. God, Lily would do anything to have him back right now. To open her eyes and see him lying in her bed with that same lazy smirk on his face. But when she did, there was no one in her bed. Just herself.

Her fingers dialled the number before she knew exactly who she was calling. Before she realized what this could do.

"Hello?" His groggy voice whispered into the phone.

"Hi...It's Lily."

"Lily it's 2 in the morning."

"I know...I know," she whispered, biting on the tips of her nails, "I just need to know..."

"Know what?"

"Is he okay?"

Sam let out a whisper of a sigh, and she knew the answer before he even spoke again. It didn't relieve her. It hurt her more than anything. Knowing that she had caused it.

"He's a damn trainwreck, Lil," Sam answered, "He's always been the brooding type but there's something different now."

Lily placed her forehead into her hand, "Has he said anything?"

"He's lost a part of himself," Sam responded, the noise of shifting blankets echoing behind his voice, "You were something I can't even explain to him Lily. There's still a part of him with you."

She ended the call before he heard her lose it.

-----

Rose took Hunter for the day. Lily could barely move in her bed the morning after she called Sam. Her eyes felt dry and heavy. Whenever she moved, a part of her screamed out for him. She felt so empty and just so...alone. Now that he was gone. But she wanted him back so badly her throat yelled out at her to tell him.

Call him, her mind said, tell him what you're thinking.

But she couldn't.

Because she already said goodbye.

[nobody-wants-ice-cream]

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 7, The Day That Was.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Number Five

The Day That Wasn’t

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Also, no I can’t do better. I am in no way qualified to give this level of criticism about anything.

[Look out for the fic challenge at the end! I’m tagging @tehmoonofficial @seven-misfits @princenewton @tua-koffee and anyone else who wants to try it. Tag other people if you would like!]

The Day That Was

The use of “One is the Loneliest Number” by Three Dog Night implies that this is Luther’s birth. I know that that isn’t what they’re trying to convey so this is a very weird song choice. It would be way too on the nose if it was Luther, but it would fit so well. In fact, before Pogo said that it was the culmination of a normal pregnancy, I thought it was Luther when I was first watchin it.Point is, scoring is important. +1

No one is attending to this mother which is why she dies. Seriously, if just one person in that room was with Harold’s mother then any problems would have been noticed far earlier. I know this show likes to kill off women to further the plot, but this one happens to be excessively stupid. +2

There’s a woman in scrubs who doesn’t appear to be sterile in the room. Even Harold’s father is sterile. For those who don’t know, I’m talking about a lack of germs. +1

Harold playing with the Umbrella Academy action figures is adorable and makes sense. However, why the hell would his abusive father buy these for him? Something doesn’t add up. Where did he get these from? Did he steal them? In that case, stealing is bad. Sin still stands. +1

Dr. Terminal better appear in season 2. -1

Ben’s action figure includes the horror. This makes sense, but then how did Ben pose for this? Did he just sort of stand like that and let the sculptor take liberties with what the horror looked like? How were these modeled and designed? +1

“Put those stupid dolls away and go get me a beer” obvious abusive father is obvious. +7

Also, abusive fathers. +7

I didn’t notice that Harold’s house is the same as Leonard’s house when I first watched it because of the change in angle and lighting. This is clever. -1

Has anyone taken a good look at the Klaus action figure? That thing looks ridiculous! +1

Harold stops to look at a comic now and not later when his Dad isn’t demanding a beer. Then again, I am questioning the logic skills of a thirteen-year-old. So this sin is once again for the abusive dick for for not letting Harold be a child. +1

Seriously, where did Harold get all this stuff? Merch is expensive. And so are suit jackets. And tape. And a whole bunch of his supplies. +1

Seance seems pretty popular. Good. I love Klaus. But there is no indication that he did anything during missions, so why do these people love him? Show me his charisma or something? Give young Klaus a scene that shows why the people love him. +1

Are these barriers only there after missions? And if this is normal enough that there are barriers, then why aren’t there more people hounding the academy when Five runs away for example? How famous are these kids? +1

Harold you poor child. He even packed a bag and everything. Reggie is not better than your abusive father. Sin for Harold’s father and for Reggie. +2

No one stops Harold from jumping over the barrier. Not even the other fans saying something like “dude don’t do that”. Nothing. Who is enforcing these barriers? +1

Luther walked out of the car first and now he’s behind Allison. Since when does Luther have Five’s power?+1

Allison looks really uncomfortable. How many grabby fans has this young girl had to deal with? +1

Eden Cupid plays this really well. -1

How many grabby fans has Eden Cupid had to deal with?? +1

Reggie orders Harold behind the barricades. So is it Reggie enforcing it? Or what? +1

If it’s the academy enforcing it through Reggies orders then why didn’t Diego, Klaus, or Ben stop Harold? Or does this not matter because Luther was in front of them? This is confusing. Where is everybody? +1

Reggie is a dick. “You have no power”. Is that really the best way to deal with the situation? A better man may have said something like “You may not have powers but that doesn’t mean you aren't special. Run along now.” But then again, this is the same dick that drugged his daughter because he couldn’t control her powers so yeah. Fuck you, Reggie. +3

In the wide shot, Harold’s suitcase disappeared and some policemen magically appeared out of thin air. +1

Why are all these people laughing at Harold? After what Reggie just said there should be outrage? What the hell, people? +1

Some of these people include grown ass adults. +1

Reggie manhandles Harold and no one questions this. +1

Second hand embarrassment and shame. I really feel for this kid. -1

Where are the little umbrella mounts that the action figures are supposed to be standing on in this establishing shot of Harold’s collection? We see them on the collection in the academy. Is this supposed to imply that Harold stole them? I am confused. +1

We can see a piece of paper that has the words Klaus and Harold written on it in different colored crayon. Set designers, you win this one. -1

Why are the action figures going by their names instead of their hero names? It’s been established based on the posters the people had behind the barricades that “The Seance” and “Spaceboy” exist. So why the real names? If it’s because Harold is desperate for friends then the sin also applies. +1

In a close shot we can see that Harold must have taken those platforms off and glued them to this construction paper based on a weird deformity on Five’s foot. Sin still stands because Harold ruined those. In fact, I’ll add another sin, because this doesn’t explain how he separated them. If it was an exacto knife then sin for letting a child handle that. +1

Harold makes collages of the academy kids faces. Cute and a good set design choice. -1

You can see the moment when Harold decides to kill his father. That is some great acting, Jesse Noah Gruman. -1

You know, for all we rag on Harold for killing his abusive father, there are a surprising amount of fics in which the Hargreeves siblings kill their abusive father. Either we’re cool with killing abusive fathers or we aren’t, fandom. +1

Speaking of, we often use “cool motive, still murder” to describe this scene. But no one has a problem with the amount of people Five killed. +1

Harold got twelve years in jail even though there were signs of abuse. He had a bruise on his face! Any lawyer should have been able to get Harold out of jail. Even a public defender can’t deny this evidence. Harold should have pled guilty and he would have gotten a lighter, if no sentence at all. [I am not a lawyer, do not take this as legal advice. This is based on various crime shows and some law youtube channels. Also, don’t kill people.] +1

Why was Harold following Klaus? Popular theories include wanting to kill him or use him the way he uses Vanya. I am sinning this because it remains unclear. +1

The Leonard/Harold reveal is beautifully executed. This is how you do a plot twist. -1

Reggie refers to Klaus by name and by 00.04 in his journal. Why the inconsistency? If you know his name, why not use it all the time, Reggie? +1

In 2001, the kids were twelve. Reggie locked Klaus in the mausoleum as young as 12 and probably younger if the credit for 8 year old Klaus is anything to go by. +4

Reggie’s notes say that Klaus is resistant to this. No fucking shit, a child is resistant to facing their greatest fears with no support. +4

Title screen is on the umbrella in Reggie’s journal. Classy. -1

Five tosses Allison’s coffee behind him when he’s done with it. This goes back to his Apocalypse days, but you would think that sort of thing was frowned upon in the Commission. Or was really obvious during any missions he had as an assassin. Why is he doing this? +1

At the end of episode 6, Five slurps the coffee but here there is no slurp after “Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?”. +1

Leonard hears Five saying that he [Harold] is responsible for the apocalypse. This does not alarm Leonard in any way and he continues stealing Hargreeves’s action figure. +1

Also, Harold Jenkins happens to be in the academy right now as they’re talking about trying to find him. Choke on that irony. +1

Repeat scene shows no indication that the information Harold just got changed his reactions in any way. You would think that he would show a little fear or something? +1

Five isn’t treating his injury despite the fact that it’s causing him obvious pain and he has access to Grace and an infirmary because plot? They could easily have this chat in the infirmary while Five is getting stitched up. Five has been shown treating his injuries and does seem to possess more than half a brain cell, so not taking care of the shrapnel wound is a weird deviation in his character. +3

Speaking of brain cells, thank goodness Allison has one because she is the one asking relevant questions here. -1

Klaus and Diego are still pissed at Five for getting drunk while Hazel and Cha Cha attacked the mansion. Good job with the consistency in character motivation, writers. -1

“Temps Commission.” Maybe season 2 will give us the Temps Aeternalis. +1

Aidan Gallagher’s delivery is okay, but not stellar. I think it’s the tone that’s off. I think I’m judging him too harshly. This is hard to deliver because it’s an exposition dump seven out of ten episodes in. So this sin goes to the writers for making these paragraphs- not lines, paragraphs- that deliver information the viewer already knows. At this point, cut the scene short or show Vanya and Leonard again so we can skip the second Commission lecture. +1

And the reactions that Diego, Allison, and Luther have are so varied because they have such different levels of understanding. Allison, who knows the least, asks “What do you mean, protect time and space?” This level of info dumping this late is dumb. +1

“I look like a thirteen year old boy.” No you don’t. Real thirteen year olds do not look like fifteen year old Aidan Gallagher. For example, look up what Gallagher looked like when he was actually thirteen. +1

“Klaus talks to the dead” oh so we’re just stating the obvious now. Who wrote this scene? +1

How does Five know Claire’s name? Just one shot of a magazine in his apocalypse bunker was all we needed. The magazine that says Patrick and Claire are doing just fine without Allison would have made perfect sense. +1

If we don’t get Five and Claire meeting at some point istg. Sin until they meet.+1

Once again, Luther the moon and the apocalypse are connected, just not in the way you think. Reggie, you suck. +1

“Klaus you’re with me.” Diego and Klaus make a great team. -1

Five’s face when Klaus says he’s feeling under the weather. Considering Five’s injury, this makes sense for the character. -1

Five gives that look to Klaus. Five, you’re hiding a life threatening wound for no reason. You don’t have room to judge. +1

The old man walk looks ridiculous. Five is so obviously injured and Allison and Luther, who watch as Klaus, Diego, and Five walk away, don’t notice this odd walk. +1

We follow Hazel instead of Cha Cha because their story in this episode isn’t affected by Five’s time travel decision. However, the only part of this story we need is the part at the end of the episode. +1

Diego is driving, Five has shotgun, and Allison is in the back. They totally fought over who would sit where. That scene would have been way more interesting than the Hazel and Cha Cha repeat scene. Also, I kind of want to write about that fight now. You know Five wanted to drive. And that when Diego insisted on driving so he and Allison wouldn’t get in trouble for letting a minor drive or something like that, Allison and Five fought over the passenger's side seat. Well adjusted or not, fighting over that seat is what siblings do. +1

Allison, you could just waltz in there and ask for it. Don’t suggest that plan if you aren’t going to do that. +1

Five’s power or Allison’s power would be very useful, yet Diego choses to get the file himself. This wastes valuable time. And Five is okay with that. +1

Five refers to his powers as “blink” not “jump” which is what the fandom has been calling it. +1

Five has not slept at all in a couple days. And he’s making decisions about the end of the world. +1

Diego “made a call. That’s what a leader does.” But the call he makes is fucking stupid. This is a grab the thing and get out mission. Two people in the academy have powers that would work wonderfully for this type of mission. And they happen to be right there. Even with Allison refusing to use her power, it’s stupid to not have Five just blink in and grab it. Diego is a shitty leader. +1

Beeman just tells Diego that he is the prime suspect in Patch’s murder. This is so dumb on so many levels. Sigh. +1

Beeman has already said shit that would make him lose his job. At this point he’s arguing with Diego to pad the episode’s run time. +1

Whoever did Emmy Raver-Lampman’s makeup for this scene screwed up her brows really bad. Or maybe just her brow highlight is messed up. Or the blending on her eyeshadow. +1

Five is just sort of standing there and leaning against the wall. This is supposed to be another hint that he’s injured but it just looks stupid. +1

Allison’s heartfelt message to Vanya shows remorse and a genuine want for connection. -1

See! This cut where Allison doesn’t explain to Five and Diego who Leonard is because the viewer already knows and this can therefore happen off screen is good! Use this more if you’re going to do episodes like this. -1

Luther turns to alcohol because he doesn’t feel like he has any support. I’m sad now. Poor Luther! -1

And my sympathy disappears when Luther starts choking Klaus. That is some fucking bullshit. +1

I understand that Luther is drunk and not capable of complex decisions right now, but this seems excessively cruel. I think this is on the writers and not necessarily on Luther himself. +1

Why isn’t Ben seeing this? Later on, it’s like Ben didn’t see what Luther did here. This sin makes more sense later on in the episode. +1

Klaus is genuinely trying to make Luther feel better after Luther just choked him. Klaus is a good brother. -1

Klaus suggests going to find Allison. It’s like he knows what happened last episode. Oh, show. And yes, you can argue that Klaus knows that Luther and Allison were close. Then my counter argument would be that Klaus knows Allison is off saving the world. Yes, helping Luther is important, but Klaus can do it. Klaus needs more faith in himself. +1

Luther’s smile when Klaus calls him Number One and starts quoting poetry at him. “O captain, my captain.” -1

This immediately transitions into crying. My poor babies. +1

Klaus attempts to say “that’s not true” but can’t because he knows that Reggie is the type of person to send someone to the moon so he doesn’t have to look at them. Reggie is a dick. +7

Luther looks so lost and broken and sad. Tom Hopper, you asshole. I am actually crying a little bit. I’ll take a sin off because Tom Hopper made me feel emotions. -1

Robert Sheehan is an excellent actor. -1

Luther shoves Klaus out of the way with no regard to where he lands. What if Klaus’s head hit that furniture! +1

The Hazel and Cha Cha scenes would have been stronger if we left them in the last episode. Maybe one or two establishing things to show that they aren't affected by the time change and that’s it. All we needed was the order to not terminate Five and one of the messages. That’s it. +1

Hazel has a birdwatching book which shows that he wants to learn about Agnes’s interests. Cute. -1

They are trying to imply some kind of relationship between Hazel and Cha Cha! Cha Cha having feelings for Hazel doesn’t make sense. +1

“So do most serial killers and mass murderers. I mean look at him” “Thanks.” The delivery of “thanks” always bothered me. It could have used a little more sarcasm. +1

Diego doesn’t wait for Allison or Five to open the door. Nor does he let them offer suggestions. +1

Diego doesn’t even test the doorknob. Dumbass. +1

Diego seems like one of the competent siblings until he does this mission with Five and Allison, who have the family brain cells. This is amusing, but also makes me question the badass Diego moments. +1

If we don’t get more Five and Allison in season 2 imma riot. These characters work so well together. +1 

The way they make fun of Diego together is peak sibling culture. -1

“You need to see this.” Please just stop giving Allison these bullshit lines. +1

Five’s run is weird. He’s lifting his knees really high. This is one of those things that I shouldn’t have noticed. +1

Bottom left poster. Klaus hit the woah sixteen years too early. +1

Harold had time to scratch their faces before going to jail or Leonard did this at some point as an adult. Creep. +1

He also mangled the action figures even further. +1

Five isn’t looking so hot because the plot demands it right now. He was perfectly fine cracking jokes with Allison earlier. +1

Looking closer at the wound, we can see that Five not taking care of it right away is total fucking bullshit. That looks serious and like it could get infected easily. Five, who grew up in an apocalypse, would know to take care of shit like that. If he didn’t then he would have died in the Apocalypse.+1

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Diego would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

Five doesn’t answer this question because the answer is “The writers needed a convenient way to get me out of the picture for a couple hours.” +1

Harold’s father took him fishing. I don’t want to know why. +1

“We don’t have to stay here. We can just get a shitty motel or something.” Or ya know, go back to your apartment, Vanya. Or is Vanya’s apartment like Five’s injury in that it only exists when the plot needs it. +1

Off topic, but why is Vanya talking about chord progressions with her beginner violin student. Chords and violin don’t go together when you first start learning. This is a weird example. +1

Leonard is a manipulative bastard. He knows exactly what to say to make Vanya bend to his will. +1

We aren’t even halfway through the episode and I have been doing this for over two hours. This says a lot about the kinds of sins this episode has. Right now we’re at the end of page 6. +1

Vanya followed Leonard to a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere. They’ve known each other for less than a week. I wouldn’t trust some of the people I’ve known for years the way Vanya trusts Leonard. +1

Hazel has known Agnes for less than a week and now he wants to run away with her. +1

Agnes is willing to run away with Hazel despite knowing him for less than a week. +1

Hazel and Agnes are using the “Life is short” thing, which it is, especially with the impending apocalypse, but that doesn’t change that they’ve known each other for less than a week. +1

“Her job’s her life.” so why don’t you show that, show? Cha Cha’s motivations make no sense. +1

Hazel and Agnes theme! I love that piece. -1

The way Hazel is holding her looks really funny. I am amused. -1

Ben pressuring Klaus to help Luther despite all the physical harm Luther did to Klaus. I am sinning this again. Why didn’t Ben see this? Or does he just not care? This is either a sin for the show for not remembering where Ben is or a sin for Ben for not caring about his brother. +1

Ben creates a shadow but he is supposed to be invisible. I don’t think that’s how light works. Is Klaus the only person that can see Ben’s shadow? Is Klaus sober enough that he’s starting to make Ben corporeal? How does this work? +1

Right now if anyone looked in that alley, Klaus would look fucking crazy. +1

The guy walking past doesn’t care that Klaus is talking to nobody right now. +1

“You weren't ready to die violently at a young age” yeah. Seventeen, based on the portraits. Why does Ben’s ghost not look bloody? And why does he look like he’s in his late 20s? Ben should still look seventeen right? If Justin Min, age 29, is meant to be playing a 17 year old, then I have some issues. +1

Can Ben sweat? +1

The “if you were in trouble” line is delivered really well. Nice. -1

Ben’s tough love is more of a pep talk now. I like this version of Ben. He’s a little misguided, but he sort of gets the spirit. Heh spirit, Ben, get it? -1

“We should have taken him to the hospital” Allison would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

“We gotta get the shrapnel out.” Yeah, but that is not priority one right now. Is there any pressure on the wound right now? +1

This repeat scene with Diego and Grace makes sense because it’s at a different time. -1

“Seven bars, three strip joints, and a laundromat.” Why the laundromat? +1

Ben’s shadow is even more pronounced now. +1

Convenient rave girl talking to herself about Luther with a good description is convenient. +1

“Holy Shit” said in unison. Nice. -1

Ben and Klaus wouldn’t know about Luther’s monkey transformation, so the reaction checks out but not the description. Maybe “big” was why they decided to check it out? +1

Rave girl thinks Luther is a furry. This is funny. -1

Luther offers Klaus drugs. That’s nice, I guess. -1

Offering your newly sober brother drugs. +2

Ben is honestly a life coach from hell. “Stay strong don’t give into temptation.” Remember your mantras. Meditate. Drink lots of water. +1

Though, that does make sense. A dead guy would be a shitty life coach. +1

What’s with the weird light on the pill that Klaus threw? Is that a secondary power? Being able to find drugs? +1

No one steps on or trips on Klaus, who is crawling around on the floor in a room full of high/drunk/whatever people. +1

Klaus’s flashbacks. Putting my boy through trauma. +1

Dave turns into the pill because the pill symbolises everything holding Klaus back from summoning Dave. Symbolism. -1

Grace is treating Five’s shrapnel wound in his room instead of the infirmary. +1

“Receptionist at her music school” wait. Vanya has another job teaching music? She has three jobs? How in the hell did she have time to do any of this stuff? +1

Allison’s face when Diego says Luther was right. That was amazing. Emmy Raver-Lampman, you genius. -1

The City has no people around right now other than Diego, Allison, and the cops. +1

“Why would you ask that about me?” because you carry pointy things and throw them into people, Diego. That’s why Allison asks if the police are right about you murdering someone. +1

Allison would be excellent at cinema sins. She reiterated my last point. +1

Why did they send that many cops to go arrest one guy? Did they expect the entire academy to fight them? +1

“You killed a cop, asshole.” Rodriguez did the police academy teach you nothing? You can’t say shit like that to a suspect? +1

Finally, someone reads Diego his Miranda rights. Doing the bare minimum is impressive for these cops. +1

Diego, you edgy bastard. Spitting on the ground? Great. Make these people even more pissed off then they already are. +1

Vanya’s power is mostly destructive and Leonard should know this based on the book. So why is he trying to get her to summon a boat? Or destroy a boat? This doesn’t make any sense. +1

“I watched everything my brothers and sister could do ruin their lives.” The Umbrella Academy in a nutshell. +1

Also, if you saw this, then why the fuck did you want powers, Vanya? +1

“Do I stare really hard? Am I supposed to point my fingers?” Actual conversation Ellen Page had with the director somehow made it into the show. +1

This scene is so underrated. It’s so funny watching the music swell and nothing happen. -1

“I look and I feel ridiculous. I have no idea how they did this stuff with a straight face.” -1

“You are so invested in this.” Yeah, girl. Red flag. +1

Convenient burning not obscuring the words of the “terminate Hazel” message is convenient. +1

Do we really need the repeat of Cha Cha getting the message? +1

Cha Cha doesn’t notice Hazel behind the curtain despite being a trained assassin. This is why Five was the best. +1

Hazel doesn’t kill Cha Cha. +1

Netflix subtitles have Ben saying “Oh shit, Luther” when it’s clearly Klaus saying that line. +1

Klaus’s desire to help his brother is stronger than his need for drugs. -1

For whom the bell tolls? The bell tolls for Klaus. +1

Little Girl on a Bike God takes her lines directly from the comics. -1

She plays the pronoun game with Klaus despite Her being all knowing. Or She does this to be an asshole. +1

The barber shop looks like a little barn from the outside. Clever misdirection. -1

“Nite Owl Barber Shop” -1

“Barber banter may offend” no kidding. With Reggie working there, need I say more. -1

The pictures of Luther, Diego, Reggie, Dave, Five, and possibly young Ben on the wall. -1

Five’s hair looks really dumb in the photo aslkdj;gaf. -1

Artful close up shot of Robert Sheehan’s face. -1

Reggie is a dick. “What in God’s name took you so long?” Maybe he didn’t want to see you, asshole. +1

Was Colm Feore actually shaving Robert Sheehan? +1

I am going to sin Reggie being a dick in advance here so I don’t have to sin every line. +20

Klaus brings up an interesting point. How did Reggie know about the apocalypse? +1

Klaus is crying when Reggie says that he killed himself to bring them all back together. On some level, Klaus cares for this man. Empathy. -1

Just as Reggie starts to say something important, he disappears because of course he does. If the characters actually spoke to each other about important things then there would be no plot. +1

Klaus was dead and now he’s not. Why didn’t he wake up in the apocalypse? +1

Kenny’s mom sighting. She’s at the rave. +1

Leonard pays these guys to beat him up. Did he also give them a script? +1

Vanya’s powers activate when the rain starts but only become visible when she fears for Leonard’s life. Good choice. -1

Hazel doesn’t kill Cha Cha. Killing her would help him out in so many ways, yet he doesn’t do it. Or remove his tracker. Or her tracker. Or anything. +1

“I’m in love” You’ve known her for a couple days at best. +1

“Wake up and smell the coffee.” This is part of the reason why I headcanon Five’s coffee addiction came from the Commission. +1

Hazel can’t bring himself to kill Cha Cha after she threatens him and the woman he “loves” because of years of friendship in a job he hated? That she loved? I’m confused. +1

Allison is going after Vanya alone. She is going to this cabin in the woods alone. Horror Movie 101, Allison. +1

Now Ben looks concerned. All it took was Klaus’s literal death. +1

Luther and the rave girl are both too high to consent? I don’t like the vibes. +1

Diego is in jail because of his own stupidity. +1

The police didn’t give him back his sling. The man is walking around with a gunshot wound, assholes. +1

The shot of the eye before the camera focuses on Five symbolizes Five putting the apocalypse before everything. -1

Vanya looks so scared in the hospital. Excellent acting. -1

The shot of the eye also reminds us that the eye exists at all which makes the eye reveal more dramatic. -1

Overall Review:

Okay, so if episode 5 is where the viewer truly learns what’s going on, then episode 7 is when everything truly comes together. All the loose plot threads fit themselves together in this episode. In fact, you could argue that the Leonard/Harold eye reveal is the most important reveal after the whole Vanya has powers reveal. The eye makes sense now. 

You know what? I challenge all the fic writers who read this to write a “watching the show” style fic, but only using this episode. Drop this episode on them in the middle of one of the early episodes and then have them try to stop the apocalypse based on it. Tag me when you’ve posted it and/or gift it to cherriesareneat on ao3. I will probably be writing my own version of this at some point. 

There are a ton of great moments in this episode. The important beats being the Harold/Leonard reveal, Five’s injury, Luther at the rave, Klaus’s death, Reggie’s reveal, Vanya’s powers reveal, and the eye reveal. These were mostly well executed with the exception being Five’s injury. 

Also, let me know if you prefer the long sins/short analysis style I’ve been trying out recently. 

Total: 152

Sentence: What is character motivation? Where am I? I am confused.

[youarejesting]

Femme: 40

[MASTERLIST]

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader, GDragon x Bigbang

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Pregnancy, Alcohol Consumption (drink responsibly), mentions making love, cumplay (not really), birth, tasting breast milk, emotions and more that I cant think of.

Length: 5.8k words

Announcement: This is dedicated to the Sherlock holmes anon who guessed the dad debate correct. It was Yoongi. Autocorrects may occur and other errors just let me know if there is anything majorly wrong.

Recap: Back from America. You and the boys have to deal with sickness as the last of winter turns to spring. You are finally able to go back to work, however, you find out you are pregnant. The doctor is running the DNA test who is the father.

The boys joined you one by one, each taking boxes and sorting through them, you helped to carry a rubbish bag for anything they were finally ready to part with. You organised so much stuff, and could finally see the crisp cream walls and grey marble tiles. 

“We finally can have a computer room for our games?” Taehyung wiggles excitedly bumping fists with Jungkook who was wearing a pair of rabbit ears.  “Or a new dance studio” Jimin grinned at Hoseok who made a cheerful noise while he was buried under a pile of little bags. 

“Actually I was wondering if perhaps I could have this room” You spoke quietly folding an old shirt of Jin’s.  “What why?” Namjoon was quite alarmed, “did we do something wrong?”

“No it is not that, I just want to make something special in this room. A surprise” they nodded some did so reluctantly. You got the key to the room. And ushered them out so you could start planning. 

Over the next few weeks, Jiyong and Moon Inshik helped paint and they snuck in furniture while the boys were out. Jiyong was designing the whole thing. Describing your dream nursery with sketches and the colour scheme was white, grey and peach. Later moving on to clothing and designs preferring no pictures or words on the clothes. The baby clothes colour scheme was peach and yellow. 

“You think the baby will be a girl?”  “I think the baby would look cute in pink and yellow” “Have you heard back from the doctor about the DNA test?”

“Uh yeah yesterday I received the letter, I just wanted to make it special, I don’t know whether to tell him first or if it should be a group thing?” “Whatever feels right” he leaned down to your belly, his hands were cold and fingers thin, his daughter followed his actions touching your stomach as well and whispered to your baby giggling. “Uncle Jiyong is going to spoil you rotten” 

“I don’t think you could if you tried”

Yoongi was in his studio returning home in a formal suit, he had met with a client and it seemed the meeting had gone really well; by the way, he didn’t shuffle and drop his bag but was actually humming. Knocking politely before opening the door he grinned “y/n? come in kitten” 

The studio was brightly lit, which seemed odd, and his lips were pulled up in a smile. He looked content just satisfied with his day. You walked over slowly, he looked too happy, you were now having second thoughts. Maybe you shouldn’t tell them who the father is and just say we are pregnant to all the boys. “How was your day?”

“Really good, those boys are hectic, but they liked the song and I got a good percentage of its profits. And there will be more if I help them with the rest of their album. They actually invited us all to dinner tonight so, would you like to come”

He was so chatty and bubbly you hoped this didn’t ruin it, he kept trying to pull you forward and you were subtly avoiding him. Touching things on his desk and cleaning up a few papers. His sweater paws laid on the arms of his desk chair no longer grabbing for you.

“Why are you avoiding me, did I do something wrong?” His smile faded and you wanted to hit yourself for being the reason.  “No, you are perfect Yoongi,” Not looking at him, the guilt of ruining his happiness set in.  “Did you do something wrong, did you break something?”

“Yoongi, I have something to tell you and it’s important” he licked his pretty pink lips in anticipation. Standing with a sigh he ran his hand down his face, loosening his tie and removing his jacket. The sight stirring you, you liked watching Yoongi undress. He walked you to the couch, where he held your hand and waited patiently. 

“Tell me” his voice was low and serious offering you a moment.  “It’s good news well I think so, but I am worried how you will feel”

Searching your face for the answer, your hands were shaking as you pulled the opened letter from your pocket and you handed it to him. 

Opening the paper he began reading, he was quiet for a long time frowning “what does it mean? the DNA results confirm with ninety-nine point eight percent accuracy that Min Yoongi is determined as the biological father”

He looked up to see you crying. “I’m not your great great great granddad or something am I, we aren’t even from the same country”  “No idiot” Laughing through misty eyes you pulled out the ultrasound photo and sniffled “This is our baby, Yoongi. You're going to be a dad”

Lunging into your arms he pulled back alarmed touching your belly to make sure he hadn’t hurt the precious bean inside. He wasted no time kissing your lips, face and neck. Laughing even though he was crying, he held you to his chest. “My kitten we are having a baby”

The afternoon was spent cuddling in his bedroom. He rubbed your tummy humming quietly, it was a soft tune that you had never heard before and he looked so content. Stirring only occasionally to ask you questions, “How long has it been?”

“Well I found out when I was about nine weeks, and I technically didn’t want anyone to know until after sixteen weeks, but currently I am twelve weeks which is three months. I’m not showing just yet, but, will you still love me when I get fat?” “I want to see you big with my baby inside of you” he grinned leisurely tracing his fingers around your belly button. 

Deciding to show Yoongi the nursery, the two of you agreed to keep it a secret until sixteen weeks. Just in case anything went wrong. Yoongi stepped inside and you showed him the crib, little toys, blankets and a few outfits. “There’s a little rocking chair for when I am nursing the baby, everything is themed peach and yellow because I don’t want my baby limited to ‘girl colours’ or ‘boy colours’. I just want them to be clean, happy, healthy and look cute like their dad”

“It’s beautiful” he smiled sitting in the white rocking chair and humming the tune again.  “What are you humming?” “Ah, nothing just something my mum used to sing to me” he rubbed his neck sheepishly pulling you onto his lap rocking you both as he hummed. 

You were so peaceful you didn’t hear someone come home. Not even when they stepped into the room. “Wah these boots are so little and cute,” Namjoon was holding the tiny boots up to his face, eyes wide marvelling at how they sat on the palm of his hand. 

“Ah, Namjoon!”  “Are we having a baby?” He asked glassy eyes meeting yours. You could only nod before he pulled you into a hug  “Is Yoongi the father?” “We are all the fathers, I can’t do it on my own, I have no idea how to raise a child, but biologically yes” 

“Congratulations, we should celebrate wait till the boys find out,” grabbing Namjoon’s arm before he ran off. “Joonie no, we have to wait until sixteen weeks, because before that it seems too early what if something happens and the maknaes get sad because of it,” he nodded getting serious. 

“Okay I won’t tell anyone” he raised his hand to his heart to swear it to you. The three of you left the room locking it up so no one would enter. You got ready for dinner dressing up nicely and stepping into Yoongi’s bedroom. 

“Hoseok just came home, did you tell them about dinner tonight?” “Mm, I texted them earlier today” he rolled out of bed his hair dishevelled and his crescent moon eyes bright. 

Arriving at the restaurant you saw a large group of young men, each well dressed, handsome, tall and very lean.  “hello you must be Suga’s family” “Suga?”  “Yeah that’s his producer name” Taehyung whispered before playfully nipping at the shell of your ear. 

“Hello my name is Taeyong, I am the leader of NCT” he shook your hand bowing. Everyone sat down ordering food from the elaborate and expensive menu, “how about some champagne, to celebrate”

“Excuse me, Can we get a bottle of Champagne and what would you kids like?” Jaehyun grinned slapping the boys on the back.  “Hyung?” They pouted, not happy with being called kids.

“Can we get a pitcher of cherry coke and another of sprite please?” You asked the waiter and he nodded, the boys looked at you curiously. “I feel like some soda” 

You had fun playing games with Chenle and Jisung. Proud that you only had to go to the bathroom twice throughout the whole meal. Namjoon and Yoongi were getting really drunk as Namjoon kept slurring Congratulations to Yoongi and toasting to him. Taehyung the only other sober adult at the table helped you call rides for everyone to head home.

Carrying Namjoon inside your apartment building while he was singing at the top of his lungs Taehyung had started to sweat. “Moonchild you shine, When you rise, it's your time, C'mon yo” he tried to get the others to sing each wobbling comically in the elevator. Someone stepped onto the elevator and he grinned at the stumbling detective, recognition on his face.

“Namjoon?” “Moooooonchild dooooon't cry, When moooooon rise, it's your time, C'mon yo” Namjoon was trying to convince this man who seemed to know his name into singing his strange song with him.

“Namjoon how have you been?” “Soup-” he snickered into his hand “sooper dooper good” “I haven’t seen you since school, hey I just moved into this building so I guess I can see you around” He laughed patting him on the back making him fall forward. 

“Sorry about him they were celebrating tonight, I am Y/N” “Jackson Wang, you’re the girl who does the femme guide videos that BamBam has been watching. How did I not recognize Namjoon in the videos?”

“Do you have a femme?” “No, but we will very soon and are kind of scared about what to do?” “If you have any questions feel free to ask” you gave him your number and herded the boys out the elevator and towards your apartment.

Once inside you sent the boys who were more cognitive to shower and go to bed. While you and Taehyung were practically carrying Namjoon and Yoongi to their rooms. Yoongi was kissing your belly giggling a wide gummy grin. “I am your dad, and I love you and…” Wondering if he had fallen asleep you heard a sniffle 

“... I will try not to fuck up, okay so just go easy on me, I don’t really know what I am supposed to do, I will be there when you get sad and I will try to not get mad at you when you break my things, which you will cause you’re a child. I love you and your mum loves you and when the boys find out they will love you, I know this cause I am a dad, your dad”

There were steps thumping back down the hallway and Taehyung covered in tears ran at you stopping to delicately hug you. “we’re having a baby.” He was square mouth crying his body shaking with the small sobs “Namjoon said Yoongi is the father?”

“Don’t cry, it’s okay, I am a dad, you can hug me,” Yoongi said so sure of himself, puffing his chest out, standing to hug collapse against Taehyung “You want to say hi to the baby, you can’t see them ‘cause they are in there Tae, I put the baby in here, cause I am a dad”

Namjoon stumbled in holding the little baby shoes he had stolen from the nursery. “Yoongi, I got you a present for you, look they are so little” Namjoon and Yoongi curled up on the bed together holding a shoe each. Only after they argued on who got the left one, Namjoon said it was the most important as the left always goes missing. “I should have the left one because I am a dad”

Taehyung ignored the two drunkards and lifted your shirt bending down to place a kiss on your tummy. Whispering quietly and rubbing soothing circles on your hips. He lured you to his room and stripped and laid you on his bed so he could take photos. 

“Hello my friend I expect it would be warm inside someone’s belly, I don’t know where you are hiding because I can’t see you yet, but I know your in there” he looked up at you, “can they hear me?”

With no time to answer Taehyung opened your legs and practically shouted into your vagina, you lost it laughing so hard and he pouted.  “It’s really sweet but don’t scream at my business” he grinned and wiggling his eyebrows 

“Would you rather I do something else” you nodded at his offer. Slowly and hesitantly he buried himself between your legs, rolling his body against yours in slow thrusts trying not to hurt you. 

For the first time, he wasn’t chasing his high with you, he was holding your hands and telling you how much he loved you. You felt so special his slow moans were in a thick baritone. The two of you cuddled all night listening to classical music.

You had such a peaceful rest, Taehyung had exhausted you into a deep sleep. When you woke you felt sick rushing to the nearest bathroom. Vomiting in the toilet, your throat burnt with the acid from your stomach. No matter how bad the morning sickness got, you were thankful that it always faded quickly.

Washing your mouth out and heading to the kitchen, you saw Jimin was making some toast. He was dressed in a pastel blue button-up and tan trousers, looking angelic. He pushed the plate of toast across the bench towards you and proceeded to make another two pieces for himself.

He looked tired from last night and you giggled, his thick lips pursed staring out the window. “My prince you look-“

“Princess, I think you might be pregnant” he blurted out “I don’t know much about females but I started researching after the incident in the bathroom and well... you have been throwing up every morning and you have been to the bathroom a lot and you didn’t drink last night and just so many things”

Shock.

Jimin crossed the bench and hugged you, burying his nose in your hair where he gently inhaled your scented conditioner. “it’s okay love we are all here for you, have you been to the doctor, we can book you in for a check-up-”

“Jimin, I have already been, you can’t tell anyone okay?” “Tell anyone what?” Seokjin walked in heading to the fridge, he opened the doors and was shuffling around the fruit and vegetable crisper, his broad shoulder facing you. Throwing an egg at the kitchen window, it hit with a loud bang. Seokjin jumped at the noise turning around eyes wide looking for the source of the noise. Only to see Jimin frozen and looking at you like you were crazed.

“Don’t tell anyone Jimin threw an egg at the window” Pointing accusingly at Jimin and then at the said window, his mouth opening and shutting trying to speak and defend himself before he deflated. “Please don’t tell” he pouted, Seokjin took a cup of coffee and his fruit breakfast and left for work, the two of you alone once more eating toast silently.

“Jimin, pregnancies are really unstable you don’t tell anyone until sixteen weeks, I am only twelve please don’t tell anyone, imagine how devastated everyone would be if something happened” You held out your pinky and he took it with his, swearing to you he wouldn’t tell before sharing a kiss.

“You are not lying to me are you, you really are?” he whispered nodding you told him that you were, in fact, pregnant and it was Yoongi’s baby, but you wanted all the boys to treat this baby as if it was theirs as you were one big family. He dragged you to his room, locking the door, and sitting you on the bed. 

You felt electricity buzz through you, as he knelt between your legs, followed by warmth when he hugged your middle. “Hello Um… baby, my name is Uh Jimin, I love you little one. I know you will be loved by everyone. I will teach you everything I know, and when you need help I want you to know you can come to me. I promise” he was smiling so brightly at your tummy his fingers delicately caressing and tickling your sides. He saw you had started crying hand pressed to your mouth to suppress whimpers. 

“Princess don’t cry,” kissing your forehead he smelt like orange blossom and when his lips met yours he tasted like plum jam on toast. “I’m sorry it’s just everyone has been so good and talking to the baby and I’m so hormonal and emotional” 

Rounding up all the boys who knew your secret and dragging them into Yoongi’s studio much to his dismay, you discussed keeping it top secret. They all understood swearing they would try not to let it slip.

“What are you working on? A lullaby?” Taehyung read the computer screen, “Is it for the baby, I want to make a song too please” “Me too” Jimin piped up, they all got Yoongi to agree, Namjoon was also onboard with the idea of writing something. You were all excited and in your own thoughts when you heard Hoseok shout from the kitchen. 

“Why is there an egg splattered on the kitchen window, god I hope that’s egg if it’s not y’all need some sort of god to save your soul from sins and maybe a doctor yellow-orange is not a good colour”

You didn’t make it till the end of the day until they all knew, “You're pregnant!” Hoseok accused the ultrasound had fallen from Yoongi’s pocket, “this is a baby right, not a lumpy tumour, I have seen an ultrasound before”

Seokjin was choking on noodles, “really?” “Jagiya have you been playing with strays?” Hoseok grinned “You knew and didn’t tell us?” Jungkook pointed

Jimin put on a shocked face, pretending like he didn’t know “princess, you are pregnant? Since when? who is the father?” “But Jimin you already knew,” Taehyung said causing everyone to facepalm.  “You all knew?”  “I just found out” Seokjin breathed trying to console the screeching Jungkook.

“Same” Hoseok raising his hands innocently. You explained why you didn’t tell them and how the boys had found out you were expecting. “I told Yoongi, because, this is his biological child. Namjoon found out on and got drunk accidentally telling Taehyung and Jimin figure it out on his own.

Jungkook finally forgave you and each of the boys took turns talking to your belly and looking at the ultrasound. 

Seven months pregnant and staying in a hotel, you walked out of the elaborate bathroom and got dressed. You had a small paid crew filming you for your channel. 

Your phone started ringing the caller ID said Seokjin, you answered, “hello my love” “Are you ready, the boys are getting tired of waiting?” “Alright stop complaining I need to get my room key” you scooped up your things up and headed to the elevator. Handing T.O.P your room key. 

Looking at your reflection in the mirror the dress you wore made your little round tummy look cute and you felt like you were glowing. The elevator stopped on the ground floor and you slowly walked out and headed towards the hall. Seokjin's hotel was a luxury style building a perfect place for all occasions and the food was lovely. 

The boys would be waiting for you just around the corner, there was a sweet piano piece playing. You recognised it as the one Yoongi had gifted you in the piano-shaped music box. 

Inshik smiled by the entrance and took your hand kissing it. He told you how beautiful you looked and Jiyong placed your veil in your hair. It was time to go in. The boys next door, we’re all dressed in pretty suits each carrying a basket of petals. They were your flower boys.

They each hugged you Kai and Soobin patting your round belly. “Rub the belly for good luck?” “I’m not Buddha”

They went down the aisle first throwing the petals. Jiyong followed wearing a spectacular bridesmaid dress, he had made it to perfectly work with his shape and it was in your weddings accent colour.

Inshik held out his arm and you hooked yours around it, “you don’t have to do this, just remember we can leave at any time if you are scared or have second thoughts”

“Nothing can stop me from getting married today.” He led you down the aisle. Everyone you knew was there the NCT group, Rose, Lisa, Jennie and Jisoo, Jiyong’s family including Misuk who had the rings and Jackson and his family there. Jackson had introduced you to his family which had a new member a lovely femme who you had visited and helped her get settled in this new lifestyle. 

One look at each other across the hall and you all started crying, thanking the heavens you wore waterproof makeup. Reading your vows addressing them each one at a time and telling them intricately how much you loved and adored them. They read theirs to you each telling you how much you completed them and made them better. The celebrant was an old friend of Seokjin’s. His name was Leeteuk. Apparently, he officiated weddings often for the hotel. He had great fun making everyone feel special and relaxed during the ceremony. 

“I now pronounce you, husband, husband, husband, husband, husband, husband, husband and wife, you may now kiss your bride” They each took their turn kissing you each kiss different. But each kiss was filled with love and passion. 

The ceremony led into the reception where you danced a small progressive waltz with the boys, spinning you onto the next partner. Cutting the cake and throwing the bouquet marked the end of the evening. The honeymoon suite was spacious and very romantically set. You were worshipped through the evening and well into the morning until you were utterly exhausted. 

Nine months pregnant and waddling to work beside Jungkook, who was trying and failing to hide his amusement at the way you swayed. Going to work was less about actually working and more about talking with Inshik. You sat keeping him company and served a few customers. It wasn't a hard job, you also liked the cool temperature of the icecream van. You had some ice cream and was talking with Inshik about the book you bought for his birthday two months ago. He had finally finished it and was discussing the plot twists and character development.

Jungkook arrived to pack up the picnic tables and umbrellas, he refused to let you set up or pack up the equipment. He would just smile and tell you to go easy as pregnant women shouldn’t lift or exert themselves. Then at the end of the day, the two of you walked home hand in hand picking up, Jimin and Seokjin along the way. 

The moment you stepped in the door Taehyung was waiting to whisk you away into Namjoon’s office where he would undress you. He had been using the back of the office for photoshoots. Most people have one maternity shoot you had one every day, sometimes he just took different angles of your belly. Your favourite photo was one he took where your feet were peeking out from behind your belly.

You couldn’t say no especially when he praised you so much and made you feel beautiful, it always ended with the two of you making love in Namjoons office. Which Namjoon himself had confessed was always a nice sight to come home to. 

Namjoon and the boys had all practised how to change a baby’s clothes, Jungkook was admittedly better at it than you. “I love you mama bear” Taehyung whispered helping you into your robe. Jimin poked his head into the room with a bright smile, he clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Taehyungie, you not supposed to leave marks like this every day, our princess has work”

“I didn’t leave any yesterday” he held his arms up with a grin. 

“Princess, I got another bottle of cream” Jimin excitedly hugged you his chest pressed to your back swaying you both his hands under your tummy taking the weight off your back. Moaning in relief you laid your head back. “I will rub it onto your belly, this is the best for stretch marks they say you won’t even be able to see anything.”

“Mmm?” “And then afterwards I can cut some peaches” he kissed your jaw.  “Mmm yeah then what baby?” “Then maybe I can rub your back” “I love when you talk dirty to me”

After you were lathered in vitamin E cream, fed and massaged, everyone had returned home. Seokjin massaged your feet and painted your toenails.

“Excuse me, are you single?” You grinned at the broad-shouldered gentleman at your feet.  “Ah I am married and my pregnant wife is so stunning” he smiled wiggling his hand to flash the ring on his hand. 

“My pregnant wife is pretty too” Hoseok kissed your temple making hearts at you.  “Oh, what are your wives names?” “Y/n” they answered in unison and pretended to raise fists at each other.

“You trying to steal my wife?” “Ya! Who would want to marry your horse face” 

You took their moment of distraction to sneak of looking for Jungkook. He was supposed to be making dinner. You looked everywhere. Instead finding Yoongi sitting in the nursery hands clasped together gently rocking back and forth on the rocking chair. His eyes closed as he made a sound that could have been mistaken as a purr. 

“Hey daddy” you grinned he didn’t even flinch but his lips pulled up in a soft lazy smile. He blinked slowly coming out of his daze and looking up at your swollen figure, “you still love me?” 

You asked them every day and each one replied the same. ‘Always’ he held his arms out and you walked into them his long arms wrapping around your waist just touching at the small of your back. He gently pressed his soft and squishy cheek against your tummy, you felt the baby shift pressing an elbow into his face. “hey are you ruining my moment with your mother, when you get out we will have words”

Yoongi walked you to his room, passing the chaos in the lounge. He shut the bedroom door cancelling out the noise, he took a moment to admire how beautiful you looked just being yourself. You were flicking through the books on his bedside table. 

“Jimin has been on our backs to read these stupid books about pregnancy. Reading is what we have Namjoon for” You laughed smacking his arm, his eyes darkened and he growled at you “did you just hit me?”

“Get on your hands and knees” he pulled off your robe. Undoing his pants and grasping his shaft firmly he slipped himself inside you gently. His long arms reaching around you to hold your round belly in his hands. You moaned as he took the weight off your back. He always did this and when you asked he said it wasn’t fair that you had to carry the weight all the time. 

You were feeling really good he was warming up, he always started so cautiously and gentle until you asked him for more. Being pregnant made orgasms feel so much stronger except this time you felt weird all of a sudden really really weird. 

A sharp pain in your back and a tightness that rolled down your stomach, you felt trickling down your legs. Yoongi moaned thrusting a little harder at how you had tightened so hard around him he was so close. He was about to let go when you shouted.

“Yoongi wait stop. bangtan bangtan!” He pulled out and looked at you worried, never hearing you say the safe word before touching your face and then your stomach. 

“What did I do?”  “My water just broke” “Your what”

“How far did you get through the fucking book Yoongi” you snatched the book off the bedside table finding the dog eared page, “you’re on the third page?” “Yeah” he frowned guilty his voice breathless and his cock rock hard and throbbing in anticipation to his release. Laughing at his cluelessness.

“Fuck I love you” you kissed him, his hands rubbing your belly forgetting the contraction that had passed through you not a second ago. You scraped your nails along his scalp and moaned into his mouth and this seemed to be all he needed as he came hard on your thigh. 

The two of you looked down, your eyes staring at the pool of cum before your eyes travelled back up his chest to his guilty and pissed off expression. “Did you just come on my thigh?” “What a waste” He pouted, smirking you ran your finger over it swiping a little for a taste which made him smile even though he tried his hardest to still be pissed. 

You cleaned up and began pacing slowly, you needed to hold out for a while before heading to the hospital. Your contractions weren’t anywhere near close. You called the birthing clinic to let them know your water had broke and that you would come in when your contractions get closer. You were timing the contractions on your phone. 

That night at around nine you made your way to the hospital, you had the baby later that evening just before midnight. A little boy. He had his father’s crescent eye shape, cute nose and mouth. The boys stepped into the room their cheeks wet, noses pink. Yoongi had the first hold and the boys patted his shoulders gently in congratulations. 

“His name is Min Kyung Ju” 

Jungkook was a mess he hadn’t stopped crying, he didn’t like to see you in pain and especially didn’t like to hear you crying during the delivery. Taehyung had filmed a little of you in the hospital room before you went into active labour. 

The boys loved Kyungju named as the 32nd generation of the Min clan. The boy’s parents stopped by the hospital dropping off some flowers and meeting the baby. 

You were breastfeeding one day when Kyungju opened his eyes you started giggling he had your eye colour. They weren’t the dark brown almost black colour of Yoongi‘s they were lighter (lighter brown, green, hazel, grey, blue, pink). 

Your channel had become so popular. You had the NCT boys on your show for mukbangs, especially with Seokjin. Playing games with the younger ones. The TXT boys had their own channel now and collaborated with you guys often. 

Misuk loved Kyungju. She would lay on her belly and watch him wriggle around on the floor. “Kyungie is so funny”

You came home from an appointment on a particularly hot day to see Jimin shirtless with the baby lying naked on his chest on the couch. Everything was so beautiful you decided to take a photo. Jimin groaned in exasperation his eyes snapping open. “Really, why would you pee on me?”

“I will get a towel” giggling at Jimin who was glaring up at you to get a towel.

Kyungju was a vocal baby but never really cried, ever since birth, he would make gummy squeaks and little sounds when he breathed, he liked to hear his own voice, Yoongi had made a space in his studio where a small bouncer sat beside the desk and he could watch his son chew on the ears of his Woogie. (A floppy cat toy that had a small rattle sound inside)

Taehyung took so many photos of your son you couldn’t help but grin as he ran to you with his camera showing you all the photos. “This is when he started to yawn, this is him smiling the same gummy smile as Yoongi.”

While playing with Seokjin, he started babbling a string of dadadada and blowing raspberries, the whole room went quiet as he squealed and giggled at his Woogie before pulling his feet up to hold, his foot in his mouth. 

“Ew, feet are not for mouths” Seokjin grinned at the boy, “did your foul mouth daddy teach you that one?”

Namjoon was playing with Kyungju bouncing him, while you got dressed for the day. Kyungju’s eyebrows pulled together in concentration made Namjoon laugh that is until milk poured from the infant’s mouth and onto his suit. He called for help. “Ahh someone grab the baby, he vomited on me” 

“Hold him properly, you’re scaring him” Taehyung scolded grabbing a cloth to clean the mess. Hoseok scooped up the bundle and cooed making the boy giggle once more. 

It was a special night you went on a date with Jungkook. You went to Han River on a dinner cruise and had delicious food. Returning home late Jungkook led you to his room pulling off your dress and kissing your neck. You were both excited to have some time to indulge in your pleasures, it had been two months since having Kyungju, two months since you last had sex. Wearing your best lingerie. You told him you wanted to ride him and he responded with a grin, laying back on the bed propping his head up with pillows. He pushed your panties to the side and guided you down his thick length.

Getting really into the moment, Jungkook gripping your hips as you bounced on top of him. He hissed when you circled your hips. Yet the moment had to be broken by a cry from the baby monitor, freezing in place, you both turned to the monitor screen which was in all the boy’s rooms. You watched as Hoseok entered the Nursery to take care of the baby his voice playing through the monitor. “Your mum just wants one night off” the crying settled but you heard a gasp from underneath you. 

Looking down you noticed your bra was wet, the babies' cry made your milk start leaking. Jungkook gently massaged your hips and bit his lip. His shy bunny smile and his knitted brows showed you he was curious and wanting to ask something. “Yeobo, can I try some?”

“I mean if you want. I heard a lot of bodybuilders actually use breast milk” Laughing at how quick he was to sit up. He shushed you his cheeks flushed pulling down your bra and tasting some of your milk. You blushed and he grinned up at you. “It’s weird, not horrible just different, I think I will stick to regular milk”

Kyungju was a lazy baby, but still liked to wriggle and roll across the floor, he was always up to mischief. Whenever he was picked up by Namjoon he had a habit of drooling or blowing raspberries, you knew it was because he liked the faces Namjoon pulled when he did it.

The baby album which was released with songs you all had written for Kyungju, it sold twenty thousand copies and every day you sold a few more. It wasn’t anything too spectacular but it made you some money. You discussed the possibility of hosting live shows where you can talk to audiences and meet fans of the channel perhaps even sing a song or two live. However, you decided you were not ready for another overseas type experience, especially with a baby. 

Waking to a cry. This one sounded different and Namjoon was the first to respond, he arrived at Seokjin’s room with your precious baby.  “Love, I think Kyungie is sick”

You and Seokjin shot out of bed and got dressed heading to the hospital, it was just a fever caused by a cold. After a course of antibiotics, he was back to normal. 

Kyungju was scared of the vacuum he started crying when Seokjin started cleaning the living room. Jimin tried his best to console him, but it wasn’t going well. Unable to handle the sound of his sons crying nor watching the tears run down the poor boys face Yoongi took his son and walked him into the soundproof studio and patted his son to sleep. You were amused listening to the boys argue.

“So now I am the devil for cleaning the house, no one is yelling at Hoseok for cleaning” “Because the mop isn’t screaming in our son's ear”

Femme Media 40

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[paralleljulieverse]

“We’ll be educating Archie, so we’ll be busy for a while...”

We are a little late with this commemorative post, but last month -- 6 June, to be precise -- marked the 70th anniversary of the debut of Educating Archie (1950-59), the legendary BBC radio series starring ventriloquist Peter Brough and his dummy, Archie Andrews. Fourteen-year-old Julie Andrews was part of the original line-up for the 1950 premiere season of Educating Archie and she would remain with the show for two full seasons till late-1951/early-1952. 

It would be difficult to exaggerate the significance of Educating Archie during the ‘Golden Age' of BBC Radio in the 1950s. Across the ten years it was on the air, it grew from a popular series on the Light Programme into a “national institution” (Donovan, 74). At its peak, the series averaged a weekly audience of over 15 million Britons, almost a third of the national population (Elmes, 208). Even the Royals were apparently fans, with Brough and Archie invited to perform several times at Windsor Castle (Brough, 162ff). The show found equal success abroad, notably in Australia, where a special season of the series was recorded in 1957 (Foster and First, 133). 

Audiences couldn’t get enough of the smooth-talking Brough and his smart-lipped wooden sidekick, and the show soon spawned a flood of cross-promotional spin-offs and marketing ventures. There were Educating Archie  books, comics, records, toys, games, and clothing. An Archie Andrews keyring sold half a million units in six months and the Archie Andrews iced lolly was one of the biggest selling confectionary items of the decade (Dibbs 201). More than a mere radio programme, Educating Archie became a cultural phenomenon that “captured the heart and mood of a nation” (Merriman, 53). 

On paper, the extraordinary success of Educating Archie can be hard to fathom. After all, what is the point of a ventriloquist act on the radio where you can’t see the artist’s mouth or, for that matter, the dummy? Ventriloquism is, however, more than just the simple party trick of “voice-throwing”. A good “vent” is at heart a skilled actor who can use his or her voice to turn a wooden doll into a believable character with a distinct personality and dynamic emotional life. It is why many ventriloquists have found equal success as voice actors in animation and advertising (Lawson and Persons, 2004). 

Long before Educating Archie, several other ventriloquist acts showed it was possible to make a successful transition to the audio-only medium of radio. Most famous of these was the American Edgar Bergen who, with his dummy Charlie McCarthy, had a top-rating radio show which ran in the US for almost two decades from 1937-1956 (Dunning, 226). Other local British precedents were provided by vents such as Albert Saveen, Douglas Craggs and, a little later, Arthur Worsley, all of whom had been making regular appearances on radio variety programmes for some time (Catling, 81ff; Street, 245).

By his own admission, Peter Brough was not the most technically proficient of ventriloquists. A longstanding joke -- possibly apocryphal but now the stuff of showbiz lore -- runs that he once asked co-star Beryl Reid if she could ever see his lips move. “Only when Archie’s talking,” was her deadpan response (Barfe, 46). But Brough -- described by one critic as “debonair, fresh-faced and pleasantly toothy” (Wilson “Dummy”, 4) -- had an engaging performance style and he cultivated a “charismatic relationship with his doll as the enduring and seductive Archie Andrews” (Catling, 83). Touring the variety circuit throughout the war years, he worked hard to perfect his one-man comedy act with him as the sober straight man and Archie the wise-cracking cut-up. 

Inspired by the success of the aforementioned Edgar Bergen -- whose NBC radio shows had been brought over to the UK to entertain US servicemen during the war -- Brough applied to audition his act for the BBC (Brough, 43ff). It clearly worked because the young vent soon found himself performing on several of the national broadcaster’s variety shows. His turn on one of these, Navy Mixture, proved so popular that he secured a regular weekly segment, “Archie Takes the Helm” which ran for forty-six weeks (ibid, 49). While appearing on Navy Mixture, Brough worked alongside a wide range of other variety artists, including, as it happens, a husband and wife performing team by the name of Ted and Barbara Andrews. 

Fast forward several years to 1950 and, in response to his surging popularity, Brough was invited by the BBC to mount a fully-fledged radio series built around the mischievous Archie (Brough, 77ff). A semi-sitcom style narrative was devised -- written by Brough’s longtime writing partner, Sid Colin and talented newcomer, Eric Sykes  -- in which Archie was cast as “a boy in his middle teens, naughty but lovable, rather too grown up for his years-- especially where the ladies are concerned -- and distinctly cheeky” (Broadcasters, 5). Brough was written in as Archie’s guardian who, sensing the impish lad needed to be “taken strictly in hand before he becomes a juvenile delinquent,” engages the services of a private tutor to “educate Archie” (ibid.). Filling out the weekly tales of comic misadventure was a roster of both regular and one-off characters. In the first season, the Australian comedian, Robert Moreton, was Archie's pompous but slightly bumbling tutor, Max Bygraves played a likeable odd-job man, and the multi-talented Hattie Jacques voiced the part of Agatha Dinglebody, a dotty neighbourhood matron who was keen on the tutor, along with several other comic characters (Brough, 78-81).

In keeping with the variety format popular at the time, it was decided the series would also feature weekly musical interludes. “Our first choice” in this regard, recalls Peter Brough (1955), “was little Julie Andrews”:

“A brief two years before [Julie] had begun her professional career as a frail, pig-tailed, eleven-year-old singing sensation, startling the critics in Vic Oliver’s ‘Starlight Roof’ at the London Hippodrome by her astonishingly mature coloratura voice. Many people of the theatrical world were ready to scoff, declaring the child’s voice was a freak, that it could not last or that such singing night after night would injure her throat. They did not reckon with Julie’s mother, Barbara, and father, Ted: nor with her singing teacher, Madame Stiles-Allen. In their care, the little girl, who had sung ‘for the fun of it’ since she was seven, continued a meteoric career that has few, if any rivals” (81).

As further context for Julie’s casting in Educating Archie, the fourteen-year-old prodigy had already appeared on several earlier BBC broadcasts and was thus well known to network management. In fact, Julie had already worked with the show’s producer, Roy Speers, on his BBC variety show, Starlight Hour in 1948 (Julie Andrews Radio Artists File I).

Julie’s role in Educating Archie was essentially that of the show’s resident singer who would come out and perform a different song each week. In the first volume of her memoirs, Julie recalls:

“If I was lucky, I got a few lines with the dummy; if not, I just sang. Working closely with Mum and [singing teacher] Madame [Stiles-Allen], I learned many new songs and arias, like ‘The Shadow Waltz’ from Dinorah; ‘The Wren’; the waltz songs from Romeo and Juliet and Tom Jones; ‘Invitation to the Dance’; ‘The Blue Danube’; ‘Caro Nome’ from Rigoletto; and ‘Lo, Hear the Gentle Lark’” (Andrews 2008, 126)

Other numbers performed by Julie during her appearances on Educating Archie include: “The Pipes of Pan”, “My Heart and I”, “Count Your Blessings”, “I Heard a Robin”, and “The Song of the Tritsch-Tratsch” (”Song Notes”, 11; Julie Andrews Radio Artists File I). Additional musical interludes were provided by other regulars on the show such as Max Bygraves, the Hedley Ward Trio and the Tanner Sisters. 

Alongside her weekly showcase song, Julie’s role was progressively built into a character of sorts as the eponymously named ‘Julie’, a neighbourhood friend of Archie’s. In a later BBC retrospective, Brough recalled that it was actually Julie’s idea to flesh out her part:

“We were thinking of Educating Archie and dreaming up the idea...and we wanted something fresh in the musical spot. We had just heard Julie Andrews with Vic Oliver in Starlight Roof...and we thought, why not Julie with that lovely fresh voice, this youngster with a tremendous range? So we asked her to come and take part in the trial recording and she came up with her mother and her music teacher, Madame Stiles-Allen...and Julie was a tremendous hit, absolutely right from the start. She used to sing those lovely Strauss waltzes...and all those lovely songs and hit the high notes clear as a bell. And then she came to me and said, ‘Look...I’m just doing the song spot, do you think I could just do a line or two with Archie and develop a little talking, a little character work?’ So, I said, ‘I don’t see why not’, So we talked to Eric Sykes and Roy Speer and, suddenly, we started with Julie talking lines back-and-forth with Archie, and Eric developed the character for her of the girl-next-door for Archie, very sweet, quite different from the sophisticated young lady she is today, but a lovely sweet character” (cited in Benson 1985)

As intimated here, an initial trial recording of Educating Archie was commissioned by the BBC, ostensibly to gauge if the format would work or not. This recording was made with the full cast on 15 January 1950 and was sufficiently well received for the broadcaster to green-light a six-episode pilot series to start in June as a fill-in for the popular comedy programme, Take It From Here during that series’ summer hiatus (Pearce, 4). The first episode of Educating Archie was scheduled for Tuesday 6 June in the prime 8:00pm evening slot, with a repeat broadcast the following Sunday afternoon at 1:45pm (Brough, 88ff). 

All of the shows for Educating Archie were pre-recorded at the BBC’s Paris Cinema in Lower Regent Street. Typically, each week’s episode would be rehearsed in the afternoon and then performed and recorded later that evening in front of a live audience. Julie’s fee for the show was set at fifteen guineas (£15.15s.0d) for the recording, with an additional seven-and-a-half guineas (£7.17s.6d) per UK broadcast, 3 guineas (£3.3s.0d) for the first five overseas broadcasts, and one-and-a-half guineas for all other broadcasts (£1.11s.6d) (Julie Andrews Radio Artists File I).

The initial six-episodes of Educating Archie proved so popular that the BBC quickly extended the series for another six episodes from 18 July to 22 August (“So Archie,” 5). Of these Julie appeared in four -- 25 July, 1, 8, 14 August -- missing the fist and last episode due to prior performance commitments with Harold Fielding. Subsequently, the show -- and, with it, Julie’s contract -- was extended for a further eight episodes (29 August-17 October), then again for another eight (23 October-18 December). These later extensions were accompanied by a scheduling shift from Tuesday to Monday evening, with the Sunday afternoon repeat broadcast remaining unchanged (Julie Andrews Radio Artists File I). All up, the first season of Educating Archie ran for thirty weeks, five times its original scheduled length. During that time, the show’s audience jumped from an initial 4 million listeners to over 12 million (Dibbs, 200-201). It was also voted the top Variety Show of the year in the annual National Radio and Television Awards, a mere four-and-a-half months after its debut (Brough, 98; Wilson “Archie”, 3). 

Given the meteoric success of the show, the cast of Educating Archie found themselves in hot demand. Peter Brough (1955) relates that there was a growing clamour from theatre producers for stage presentations of Educating Archie, including an offer from Val Parnell for a full-scale show at the Prince of Wales in the heart of the West End (101). He demurred, feeling the timing wasn’t yet right and that it was too soon for the show “to sustain a box office attraction in London” -- though he left the door open for future stage shows (102).  

One venture Brough did green-light was a novelty recording of Jack and the Beanstalk with select stars of Educating Archie, including Julie. Spread over two sides of a single 78rpm, the recording was a kind of abridged fantasy episode of the show cum potted pantomime with Brough/Archie as Jack, Hattie Jacques as Mother, and Peter Madden as the Giant. Julie comes in at the very end of the tale to close proceedings with a short coloratura showcase, “When We Grow Up” which was written specially for the recording by Gene Crowley. Released by HMV in December 1950, the recording was pitched to the profitable Christmas market and, backed by a substantial marketing campaign, it realised brisk sales (“Jack,” 12). It was also warmly reviewed in the press as “a very well presented and most enjoyable disc” (“Disc,” 3) and “something to which children will listen again and again” (Tredinnick, 628).

In light of its astonishing success, there was  little question that Educating Archie would be renewed for another season in 1951. In fact, it occasioned something of a bidding war with Radio Luxembourg, a competitor commercial network, courting Brough with a lucrative deal to bring the show over to them (Brough, 103-4). Out of a sense of professional loyalty to the BBC -- and, no doubt, sweetened by a counter-offer described by the Daily Express as “one of the biggest single programme deals in the history of radio variety in Britain” (cited in Brough, 104) -- Brough re-signed with the national broadcaster for a further three year contract. 

For their part, the BBC was keen to get the new season up on the air as early as possible with an April start-date mooted. Brough, however, wanted to give the production team an extended break and, more importantly, secure enough time to develop new material with his writing team. Rising star scriptwriter, Eric Sykes was already overstretched with a competing assignment for Frankie Howerd so a later start for August was eventually confirmed (Brough, 105ff). The Educating Archie crew did, however, re-form for a one-off early preview special in March, Archie Andrew’s Easter Party, which reunited much of the original cast, including Julie (Gander, 6). 

The second 1951 season started in earnest in late-July with pre-recordings and rehearsals, followed by the first episode which was broadcast on 3 August. This time round, the programme would air on Friday evenings at 8:45pm with a repeat broadcast two days later on Sunday at 6:00pm. The cast remained more-or-less the same with the exception of Robert Moreton who had, in the interim, secured his own radio show. Replacing him as Archie’s tutor was another up-and-coming comedy talent by the name of Tony Hancock (Brough, 111). It was the start of what would prove a star-making cycle of substitute tutors over the years which would come to include  Harry Secombe, Benny Hill, Bruce Forsyth, and Sid James (Gifford 1985, 76). A further cast change would occur midway through Season 2 with the departure of Max Bygraves who left in October to pursue a touring opportunity as support act for Judy Garland in the United States (Brough, 113-14).

The second season of Educating Archie ran for 26 weeks from 3 August 1951 till 25 January 1952. Of these, Julie performed in 18 weekly episodes. She missed two episodes in late September due to other commitments and was absent from later episodes after 14 December due to her starring role in the Christmas panto, Aladdin at the London Casino. She was originally scheduled to return to Educating Archie for the final remaining shows of the season in January and her name appears in newspaper listings for these episodes. However, correspondence on file at the BBC Archives suggests she had to pull out due to ongoing contractual obligations with Aladdin which had extended its run due to popular demand (Julie Andrews Radio Artists File I).

Season 2 would mark the end of Julie’s association with Educating Archie. When the show resumed for Season 3 in September 1952, there would be no resident singer. Instead, the producers adopted “a policy of inviting a different guest artiste each week” (Brough 118). They also pushed the show more fully into the realm of character-based comedy with the inclusion of Beryl Reid who played a more subversive form of juvenile girl with her character of Monica, the unruly schoolgirl (Reid, 60ff). Moreover, by late 1952, Julie was herself “sixteen going on seventeen” and fast moving beyond the sweet little girl-next-door kind of role she had played on the show.

Still, there can be no doubt that the two years Julie spent with Educating Archie provided a major boost to her young career. Broadcast weekly into millions of homes around the nation, the programme afforded Julie a massive regular audience beyond anything she had yet experienced and helped consolidate her growing celebrity as a “household name”. Because Archie only recorded one day a week, Julie was still able to continue a fairly busy schedule of concerts and live performances, often travelling back to London for the broadcast before returning to various venues around the country (Andrews, 127). As a sign of her evolving star status, promotion for many of these appearances billed her as “Julie Andrews, 15 year old star of radio and television” (”Big Welcome,” 7) or even “Julie Andrews the outstanding radio and stage singing star from Educating Archie” (”Stage Attractions,” 4). In fact, Julie made at least two live appearances in this era alongside Brough and other members of the Educating Archie crew with a week at the Belfast Opera House in October 1951 and another week in November at the Gaumont Theatre Southampton (Programme, 1951).

Additionally, the fact that the episodes of Educating Archie were all pre-recorded means that the show provides a rare documentary record of Julie’s childhood performances. To date, several episodes with Julie have been publicly released. These include recordings of her singing “The Blue Danube” from 30 October 1950 and the popular Kathryn Grayson hit, “Love Is Where You Find It” from 19 October 1951. Given recordings of the series were issued to networks around Britain and even sent abroad suggests there must be others in existence and, so, we can only hope that more episodes with Julie will surface in time.

Reflecting on the cultural significance of Educating Archie, Barrie Took observes that, “Over the years [the] programme became a barometer of success; more than any other radio comedy it was the showcase of the emerging top-liner” (104). Indeed, the show’s alumni roll reads like a veritable “who’s who” of post-war British talent: Peter Brough, Eric Sykes, Hattie Jacques, Max Bygraves, Tony Hancock, Alfred Marks, Beryl Reid, Harry Secombe, Bruce Forsyth, Benny Hill, Warren Mitchell, Sid James, Marty Feldman, Dick Emery (Foster and Furst, 128-32). All big talents and even bigger names. However, it is perhaps fitting that, in a show built around a pint-sized dummy, the biggest name of all to come out of Educating Archie -- and, sadly, the only cast-member still with us today -- should be “little Julie Andrews”.

Sources:

Andrews, Julie. Home: A Memoir of My Early Years. London: Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 2008. 

Baker, Richard A. Old Time Variety: An Illustrated History. Barnsley: Remember When, 2010.

Barfe, Louis. Turned Out Nice Again: The Story of British Light Entertainment. London: Atlantic Books, 2008.

Benson, John (Pres.). “Julie Andrews, A Celebration, Part 2.” Star Sound Special. Luke, Tony (Prod.), radio programme, BBC 2, 7 October 1985.

“Big Welcome for Julie Andrews.” Staines and Ashford News. 17 November 1950: 7.

Broadcasters, The. “Both Sides of the Microphone.” Radio Times. 4 June 1950: 5.

Brough, Peter. Educating Archie. London: Stanely Paul & Co., 1955.

Catling, Brian. “Arthur Worsley and the Uncanny Valley.” Articulate Objects: Voice, Sculpture and Performance. Satz, A. and Wood, J. eds. Bern: Peter Lang, 2009: 81-94.

Dibbs, Martin. Radio Fun and the BBC Variety Department, 1922—67. Chams: Palgrave MacMillan, 2018.

“Disc Dissertation.” Lincolnshire Echo. 11 December 1950: 3.

Donovan, Paul. “A Voice from the Past.” The Sunday Times. 17 December 1995: 74.

Dunning, John. On the Air: The Encyclopedia of Old-Time Radio. New York: Oxford University Press, 1998.

Elmes, Simon. Hello Again: Nine Decades of Radio Voices. London: Random House, 2012.

Fisher, John. Funny Way to Be a Hero. London: Frederick Muller, 1973.

Foster, Andy and Furst, Steve. Radio Comedy, 1938-1968: A Guide to 30 Years of Wonderful Wireless. London: Virgin Books, 1996.

Gander, L Marsland. “Radio Topics.” Daily Telegraph. 13 March 1951: 6.

Gifford, Denis. The Golden Age of Radio: An Illustrated Companion. London: Batsford, 1985.

____________. “Obituary: Peter Brough.” The Independent. 7 June 1999: 11.

“Jack and the Beanstalk.” His Masters Voice Record Review. Vol. 8, no. 4, December 1950: 12.

Julie Andrews Radio Artists File I, 1945-61. Papers. BBC Written Archives Centre, Caversham.

Lawson, Tim and Persons, Alissa. The Magic Behind the Voices: A Who's Who of Cartoon Voice Actors. Jackson: University Press of Mississippi Press, 2004.

Merriman, Andy. Hattie: The Authorised Biography of Hattie Jacques. London: Aurum Press, 2008.

Pearce, Emery. “Dummy is Radio Star No. 1.” Daily Herald. 6 April 1950: 4.

Programme for Peter Brough and All-Star Variety at the Belfast Opera House, 22 October 1951, Belfast.

Programme for Peter Brough and All-Star Variety at the Gaumont Theatre Southampton, 12 November 1951, Southampton.

Reid, Beryl. So Much Love: An Autobiography. London: Hutchinson, 1984

“So Archie Stays on.” Daily Mail. 1 July 1950: 5.

“Song Notes.” The Stage. 28 September 1950: 11.

“Stage Attractions: Arcadia.” Lincolnshire Standard. 18 August 1951: 4

Street, Seán. The A to Z of British Radio. Lanham, MD: Scarecrow Press, 2009.

Took, Barry. Laughter in the Air: An Informal History of British Radio Comedy. London: Robson Books, 1976.

Tredinnick, Robert. “Gramophone Notes.” The Tatler and Bystander. 13 December 1950: 628.

Wilson, Cecil. “Dummy Steals the Spotlight.” Daily Mail. 27 May 1950: 4.

____________. “Archie, Petula Soar to the Top.” Daily Mail. 20 October 1950: 3.

Copyright © Brett Farmer 2020

[poc-movie-supremacy]

Has life been good to you?

A.N.: This is a future!fic, westallen are elderly people in this story. It’s date night for them. If you have any constructive criticism, tell me, but don’t be mean about it, please. I hope you enjoy this fic! (also I don’t own any characters or setting related to the flash tv show or the comics)  

_______

Her joints ache as she puts away a finished book. She slowly walks around the room, searching for her tablet to play a card game. The room is quiet, lit with the glow of the sun. It filtered through the redwoods surrounding their cabin. This cabin used to belong to Barry’s father, but after the kids proved fine on their own and no one needed the Flash, they retired to it. It was quaint and quiet. It was odd at first, but then it became a gift. She felt more relaxed than she has in a while. Life never became lonely either, not with the ability to portal anywhere. 

Iris found her crossword puzzle and settled down in the big red armchair in the living room. Today is date ‘night’. Well more like date afternoon, Iris is almost 75 she’s going to bed earlier and earlier. Barry had gone out to the store to buy some forgotten stuff for dinner. He was still a lot more nimble than Iris in his old age. On good days he could carry her to their bed, but usually he just threaded his arm through hers and walked her to bed. She was grateful for it, Iris underestimated Grandma Esther when she was watching Iris. Doing most things in her old age was a lot harder than it seems. Barry helped her a lot though which she thinks he likes. It makes him feel needed, she figures. 

After about an hour Iris heard the door opening. “Hey honey I’m back.” Barry entered the house carrying two paper bags filled with stuff.

Iris put down her crossword, “Hi baby, do you need any help with the groceries?” 

“No, I just needed these things.” Barry peaked his head over the wall to give her a sheepish smile. Iris arched her eyebrow curiously at her husband. “I may have gotten more than I needed.” 

Iris gave her husband a look but smiled.  “It’s alright, we probably don’t have to go shopping soon then.”

Barry finished putting away all the groceries. He sped over to his wife. “I don’t think so. I bought wine and mint chocolate chip ice cream.”

Iris’s eyes lit up. “You bought wine and mint chocolate chip! Oh, can we have it for dinner?” Iris squeezed her husband’s hand and pouted at him.

Barry looked at Iris fondly. His free hand swept a loose gray curl behind her ear. “Yeah, but for dessert. I’m making lasagna for us.”

“Need any help?”  

“No it’s ok. Lasagna’s easy to make.” Barry also didn’t want Iris in the kitchen since she couldn’t cook that well even after all this time. She glared at him but stayed where she was. Barry leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. 

After turning on the music, Barry bustled around the kitchen preparing the lasagna. Iris hummed softly to the music as she told her husband a bizarre story that apparently happened to their granddaughter. She had dressed up as a chicken in an attempt to vandalize her rival school, but when she heard of a man intent on ill will towards old ladies, she, in a chicken costume, took her friends, also in chicken costumes, took him down. Thankfully they beat him, sustaining only minor injuries. 

Barry’s eyebrows shot up. “Her first time fighting crime was in a chicken suit?” 

Iris laughed out loud. “Mhm. Joey and Melanie were not amused when they found out. Joey called me almost raving about how irresponsible those kids were. It took a lot of effort to not laugh. Once he realized what he was complaining about he apologized, to both of us.” 

Barry chuckled. “Moments like these remind me why Joe said he couldn’t wait for us to have kids. I’m glad they’re ok. You think Cisco’s fuming that his great-niece went out super-heroing and not only did she not ask him for a suit, but the suit she did go out in was a chicken suit?” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t be surprised. It happened last week I think, so we’ll be hearing about this soon.” Iris said.  

Barry's eyes sparkled in mirth as layering the lasagna. Iris shivered and slowly walked around the house closing the windows. “Ok I put it in the oven, in 45 minutes we will be having lasagna.” Barry ambled over to his wife who had just closed the kitchen window. He wrapped his long frame entirely around her. Old age has made them shorter, but he still had a good foot on her. Iris buried her face into his chest and returned the hug.

“Still cold?” Barry whispered.

“Mmm not anymore.”

“Sorry.”

Iris looked up at him crosseyed and pouting. Barry giggled at his cute wife, it did not help change her facial features. She stuck her tongue out at him then continued cuddling her husband. Barry looked at his wife dreamily and smiled dopily. He looked at her like that so much his friends nicknamed his dopey. (Harry got nicknamed grumpy. He wasn’t amused) Barry didn’t mind the nickname though, it was true. He was in love with her, has been since they were kids and she offered him cookies on the playground. Now 68 years later, they survived every damn thing no one could think of, had kids and grandkids, and got married. The song that came on made Iris’s smile stretched from ear to ear. “Do you remember this?” A thousand years was playing on the tablet. 

“That movie was horrible.” Barry groaned. He remembered that day like it was yesterday even though it had been decades ago. It had been a tiring day fighting crime, so they decided to rewind by watching a movie. Iris got them a ton of snacks then Barry curled up into her side. She mindlessly ran her fingers through her hair while she looked for a rom-com to watch. By accident, they watched the fifth twilight movie. It definitely wasn’t their favorite and Cicso definitely didn’t approve of their choice, but the song, a thousand years, was the one thing they liked from that movie. 

“It wasn’t the best no, but the song, this song, was really beautiful,” Iris remarks. Barry is struck with a good idea. He reluctantly pulls a little away from the hug to put them in a waltz form (even though the song wasn’t a waltz to their knowledge). 

He quietly sings Christina Perry's song to Iris. It’s one of her favourite things about him. They slowly sway side to side as they dance in the kitchen. He spins her around and kisses her temple. When the lyrics, time stand still, come up Barry flashes them into flashtime. He cupped her face and kissed her softly. When they stopped, he rested his forehead against hers. She happily sighed, eyes closed and smiling. She felt lucky that they were able to be together this long. She remembers thinking that he was going to die in the future, when she was going to die, and she counts her blessings that neither of those futures came true. 

“I love you.” He whispers, and he looks at her like she hung the freaking moon. Her hands softly fiddle with his thick red sweater with the gold trim. (It was a gift from Kara)

“I love you.” She adores him, she adores everything he does for her, she wonders if she has repaid the favor. 

“You’re gorgeous. You get more beautiful with every passing day.”

“Every hour every minute?” Iris asks cheekily. He laughs and twirls her. She thinks it’s the loveliest sound in the world. 

“Every hour every minute and then some. You are an angel, Iris West-Allen, and I am lucky to have you.” He’s starting to sweat. Using his powers drains him more quickly than it used to. He doesn’t want her to notice, but she does. 

“I am lucky to have you, Bar.” Her voice is quieter when she says this next part. “It’s ok, baby, take us out of flashtime, you’re tired.”

Even though he knows he should, he still tries to argue with her. “No, I’m ok Iris,” 

She gives him an unimpressed look. Some things never change. Barry yields to her good judgement pretty quickly. Now they can hear the rustle of the trees and music from the tablet. Iris leads Barry to the couch and she goes to get some milk and a power bar.

“The lasagna will be done in 25 minutes.” Iris handed him the powerbar and glass of milk. Barry took the milk from her and put it on the nightstand. He pulled Iris to his side and took a bite out of his bar. She rested her head atop his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was it’s usual quick pace which she found comforting. Barry ran his finger through her hair methodically. His thumb started to caress an old scar on her hairline. 

“Do you ever miss when we used to be heroes, out on the streets catching criminals, helping people?”

“We still do, help people I mean. Playing card games with Cynthia, baking with Kara, trading books with Diggle, meditating with Wally, it keeps us all sane. As for the first part, it was a thrilling life with a lot of rewards, but it wasn’t the safest life. You know we’re lucky to have lived so long.” The green arrow mask on the mantle and other knick-knacks from other dead heroes was a big reminder of that. 

“Time has been good to us,” Barry remarks. He doesn’t say that not everyone has been so lucky, but she knows. He knows she knows when she curls closer to him.

“Time, the speed force, life’s been good to us all, let’s hope the next generation has the same luck.”

“Let’s hope.” The rest of the night was relatively quiet. The lasagna was delicious and completely gone by the end of the night. The wine and ice cream made them a little more giggly than before. After two glasses each they called it quits and headed to bed. After readying themselves for bed, Barry and Iris curled themselves up in bed. A small part of her head was the only thing peeking out from under the mattress, resting by his chest. Blankets were piled on top of her. Barry squeezed Iris’s hand.

“Goodnight, my love.” As he was about to turn off the light he saw a photo on his nightstand. It was a photo of them, their parents, their kids, their spouses, and their grandkids. The other photos around them were of their friends throughout the years. Time has been good to me, he muses. Turning off the light cocooning himself around his wife, they drift off to sleep, at peace.

[bigskydreaming]

Lemme get the timeline right, so Dick was about 15-16 when first Teen Titans happened, then he came back to Batgirl's debut, some time later he left for college & that was the issue where Bruce is kinda teary, looking at Dick's prizes, Dick teases him a lil? Or was that golden age? Then he's recruited by Raven, NTT happens, but the firing... I'm confusing these parts. He got fired after getting shot by Joker? He was Robin then so before Jason, but was he with NTT or in Gotham?

LOL don’t worry about being confused, because it very much IS confusing thanks to so many continuities and retcons.

Personally, I tend to go with pre-New 52 timeline and then just later stories like that timeline never ended and just kept going with New 52 and Rebirth stories....with any discrepancies being like....’flashback stories’ retroactively inserted at the appropriate point in the characters’ histories. That’s just my approach though, doesn’t necessarily work for everyone.

But pre-New 52, the ages up until Dick is around 16 or 17 are pretty flexible.....you can kinda pick and choose when you view the first Teen Titans having formed because there aren’t any hard age milestones to use as a marker. So regardless of what you go with, up until Dick was about sixteen, maybe seventeen, he lived full time in Gotham with Bruce, was Robin, and ‘moonlighted’ with the Teen Titans, who in their early years were kinda more an excuse to hang out with their superhero friends rather than like....a specifically focused team.

THEN is when it gets confusing, because enter the Age of Retcons:

ORIGINALLY, pre-Crisis of Infinite Earths, aka Retcon-Palooza, Dick went on to become Nightwing while he was still on good terms with Bruce. Bruce took Jason in and adopted him, but there was zero conflict with Dick over this....in fact, at this point in the comics, Jason was ALSO an orphaned circus acrobat whose family had been friends with Dick’s family, and DICK was the one who helped him after his parents were murdered, and took him to Bruce, which led to Bruce adopting him. 

(Fun fact, and part of why I side-eye people who dismiss retcons as ‘not counting’......Jason’s extremely iconic and well-known history as a street kid who Bruce found stealing his tires......only spanned about TWELVE ISSUES. Before his death, he literally only existed with that origin for about a year’s worth of comics....as opposed to pre-Crisis, when he existed for SEVERAL years worth of comics as the plucky acrobat who adored Dick and was always doing his homework and saying “Robin gives me magic” and stuff. Fandom lives mashing these two versions of Jason together, which is fine, but they have zero problem plying his twelve issues of having grown up as a street kid for angst, while being dismissive of other characters’ retcons, and that’s right up there when talking about Things That Make Me Go HMMMM).

Anyway, so originally, pre-Crisis, Dick moved on to become Nightwing when HE was good and ready, of his own volition, because he felt he was entering a new stage of his life and wanted to reflect that. And then HE gave Robin to Jason HIMSELF, like, literally bequeathed it to him, brother to brother, with Jason being appropriately grateful to HIM for that rather than crediting Bruce with it, who had absolutely nothing to do with it other than looking on fondly and proceeding from there with Jason as his partner. Dick then transitioned to living and working with the New Teen Titans full time in New York. 

He also briefly went to college at this time, but dropped out after just one semester or one year or so......which other people often skew to make it sound like he’s lazy or spoiled or just wanted to live off Bruce’s money all of which makes me gnash my teeth, lol.....nah, he already had the equivalent of several college degrees just from growing up being trained by Bruce. Dick dropped out for one reason only: nothing he wanted to do with his life benefited from a college diploma specifically, and none of the jobs he went on to work later required one. He’s a kid who comes from a family who never went to college either because they didn’t NEED to in order to do what they loved....and Dick was no different. People love to cite that Dick was already fairly old when his parents died and that’s why ‘he didn’t need Bruce to be his parent as much specifically’ or whatthefuckever....but then they turn right around and act like he should live his life more according to the expectations and standards of Bruce as opposed to.....in keeping with his first family and their priorities and whatnot. BUT I DIGRESS.

But anyway, at this point, he mostly lived in New York and came back to Gotham every now and then to visit or to help with cases. Babs had at this point been Batgirl for some time, before he became Nightwing, but again, the timelines are messy, so the only real marker that’s important IMO is that her history with Bruce and Dick as Batgirl predates Jason joining the family, AND post-Crisis, when Jason had his street kid origin.....I think she interacted with that version of Jason maybe once?

My point there is there’s a lot of piling on the angst and pointing back to Dick as the ultimate culprit, with people making a big deal about how Barbara and others were constantly comparing Jason to Dick and resenting him for not being Dick and this made Jason’s childhood even with Bruce especially difficult....but again, nah. The vast majority of the time Babs/Batgirl co-existed with Jason/Robin, it was pre-Crisis Jason, which meant that he was on great terms with Bruce AND Dick and Dick was on great terms with Bruce, all of which means....NOBODY WAS RESENTING ANYBODY OR COMPARING ANYONE TO ANYONE ELSE, THEY ALL COEXISTED JUST FINE.

NOW.

ENTER THE RETCONS.

This is where it gets messier and more complicated, because JUST LIKE the comics retconned Jason’s origin to make him a street kid - and which NOBODY has trouble acknowledging or balancing......the comics ALSO retconned Dick’s departure from Gotham. Now it was because there was a story in which Dick was shot by the Joker, Bruce freaked out about his safety, and decided the best way to express this was by firing Dick as Robin and alienating him. Dick lingered for a few weeks, its said, in the hopes that Bruce would change his mind, but when Bruce didn’t, Dick finally packed his bags and left to go live with the Titans full time, where he became Nightwing. Its further said that this was the last contact they had for about a YEAR AND A HALF.....with Dick being the one to make the first move to resume contact.....when he found out from the papers both that Bruce had taken in a new kid (Jason) and adopted him already, AND made him Robin.

(A name which no matter WHAT origin you go for in terms of what it means to Dick, is regardless HIS CREATION, the mantle HE made for HIMSELF, and was never Bruce’s to give away, whether or not you go with the take that it was Dick’s mother’s nickname for him, or it being a reference to Robin Hood, Dick’s favorite childhood hero).

Anyway, Dick confronted Bruce about this, and Bruce basically just....acknowledged this without actually ever putting the words “I’m sorry” or “I messed up” in there, and that was Dick’s one and only ON THE PAGE interaction with Jason post-street kid origin before A Death In The Family....which occurred like two story arcs later. 

(However, something I like to point out is the issue where Dick and Jason meet after both their respective retcons, was a FLASHBACK issue. It literally starts the issue off with the caption “One year ago”.....meaning that even though Jason died only two story arcs later and we never saw Dick and he interact on the page again, that issue was deliberately scripted in such a way as to allow for a good couple years to pass IN UNIVERSE....which, IMO, is where Dick and Jason’s sibling bond and dynamic had more than enough time to form. Just because Dick was on bad terms with Bruce doesn’t mean he ever took this out on Jason, and we know from later stories that they at least interacted a few times we never saw, like when the two of them went skiing together - so while people act like they barely knew each other because Dick was never around, IMO there’s literally no reason to assume that Dick wasn’t just as good about reaching out to Jason and forming a sibling bond with him after that first initial meeting, as he later was with Tim and Cass and Damian. In fact, given how familiar Dick and Jason seem to be with each other after his return to Gotham years later, IMO the thing that ACTUALLY strains credulity is the idea that before Jason died, he and Dick only interacted a bare handful of times. Nah. That doesn’t track.)

ANYWAY. That’s how all that played out those two different times, and why there’s so much confusion, BUT I maintain a huge part of that confusion is artificially produced.....by people deliberately trying to mix and match continuities in a way that just flat out doesn’t work. Sooooooo many times over the years, we’ve heard takes on how Dick ‘quit’ being Robin and then Bruce made Jason Robin and Dick resented both of them for this, but uh.....that’s the one version of things that DIDN’T ever happen. There were two distinct ways it played out. In the first, Dick quit voluntarily, and then made Jason Robin himself, and he and Bruce and Jason were all on great terms. In the later version, (the definitive version, because just like Jason’s street kid origin, it was the retcon, yes, but it was also never refuted or contradicted, the way it would have to be to ‘reset’ canon to that earlier sequence of events/state of affairs) - but yeah, in the later version, Dick was fired, Bruce made Jason Robin, and Dick resented BRUCE for this.

But people keep trying to play mix and match so Dick both quit - thus ‘giving up his claim to Robin/theoretically having no basis to object to someone else being Robin’....AND Bruce made Jason Robin - thus getting ‘credit’ in Jason’s eyes for giving him this mantle, responsibility and trust - with Dick then resenting Bruce for giving away the thing he ‘gave up.’

And that’s so disingenuous and obnoxious, when people try and play that game. They don’t want Dick to have ‘the right’ to the same complaints they have about Jason and Tim being ‘replaced’ but they also don’t want him to get credit for giving Robin to Jason because that would imply a strong brotherly bond and connection between them, one in which Dick clearly loves his little brother, and its just....uggggggh. So annoying.

BUT I DIGRESS.

Anyway, that’s the scoop, the buzz, the happening.

[monsters-demons-and-ai-oh-my]

McDonald's! McDonald's!

I actual posted this a few days ago on AO3 but I’ve been lazy about posting it here, I thought I’d try writing something a little more comedic in tone than what I usually write (even though it has angst by nature of when the story is set).

AO3 Link

Post 13x01 - On the way back to the bunker the Winchesters stop for dinner at a McDonald’s with the day-old Jack. The nonsense you’d expect ensues.

Sam felt like a cosmic joke.

Not in the general constant way that came from his life being an actual, honest to goodness, vastly pre-planned since de-railed cosmic joke, but in the way that he could imagine Chuck standing on a stage in a c-list comic club pitching his current predicament in a nervous voice to a tough crowd.

"So, uh... two brothers and Lucifer's newborn son who just happens to look like a… I-don’t-even-know-what-ager, are on a road trip…"

Sam almost snorted and rubbed at his eyes tiredly, if he was laughing at that he was, well and truly sleep-deprived. It had been a very long very draining forty odd hours filled with loss and death and… and all the other shit their lives entailed, he wanted nothing more than to eat something and pass out.

Dean looked exactly the same as he had when they entered the car hours earlier, staring straight ahead, dead quiet, not even one of his old tapes crooning from the speakers.

And Jack…

Sam glanced behind him expecting to see the boy still sitting stiffly watching both men, but was surprised to see him face squished against the window, eyes closed and breathing deeply, out like a light.

So Nephilim slept...

It dawned on Sam they didn't know the first thing about the kid. Despite what age the boy appeared it was still terrifying to have someone's hours old child depend on you for safety and survival when you had no idea what their needs were.

Was he hungry too? Did Nephilim eat? Sam almost smacked himself. He and Dean could deal with skipping a meal or two to make good time on the road, but it was just wrong to make a kid go hungry.

"Dean?" his brother ignored him staring out at the dark road.

Sam, sighed, "It's been hours, do you… do you want to swap places?"

Dean almost never wanted to switch but it was enough to make Dean raise his eyebrows and get his attention.

"I'm fine," he said gruffly.

"You're not... ready for a break?" Sam said carefully.

Dean shot him a look, "we stopped for a piss break like an hour ago, your bladder isn't that small."

Sam huffed he guessed he'd have to spell it out, "look, Dean, we’ve been running ragged for two days straight, the only calories you’ve consumed was a friggin’ big gulp, and we have a kid in the back seat, we need food, we need sleep…”

Dean shot his brother a sharp look probably about to make another rude comment about said kid, but Sam shot the look right back.

He knew his brother was in a bad place, hell he was in a bad place, he felt like as soon as he let himself think about Cas or Mom or even freaking Crowley he’d fall apart but that didn’t mean he was okay with Dean taking everything out on him, or Jack.

Dean sighed.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Sam couldn’t talk his brother into stopping for the night but he did at least manage to convince Dean to stop somewhere for food.

Judging by the enthusiastic nodding Jack gave when Sam asked if he was hungry, Nephilim, unlike the angelic side of their family tree, did in fact eat.

The only place nearby that was open at half-past ten was a twenty-four-hour McDonald's off the highway.

They decided to actually go inside the restaurant for once since it was nearly empty and no one working the late shift would ask questions about two strange men carting around what looked like a perpetually confused college freshman.

And anyway it didn’t matter how old Jack looked there was no way Dean was letting a twenty-hour-old kid eat in Baby.

Sam made sure Jack's coat was closed enough to hide the bloody hole in his before they headed inside. Dean told the kid to sit down and not do anything in one of the corner booths as they went to actually get the food, but Jack didn't seem to mind, he just keep looking around with a kind of cautious curiosity.

Like all fluorescent lighting and brightly colored window cling ads were the most fascinating things he’d ever laid eyes on.

It made Sam's mouth twitch upward despite everything.

"Do you think the Anti-Christ eats McNuggets?" Dean said bluntly.

Sam shot him a look, "kids like them so it's probably a fair bet, yeah…"

"You're not his nanny Sam, until we..." Dean lowered his voice to a whisper, "until we figure out how to deal with… it, I'm not going to play house or get attached, and you should probably do the same…'

Sam bit back a response that he wasn't planning to let Dean kill a kid who at this point had done nothing wrong, how he thought Jack could be the only way they’d get their mother back. He knew after everything that had happened that if Dean killed the newborn Nephilim it would push him over an edge he wouldn't come back from.

But now… wasn't the time.

Sam wasn’t ready to say it and Dean certainly wasn’t ready to hear it.

“That’s still no reason to... Dean?” Sam snorted as Dean ignored him and walked up to the counter to address the bored-looking teen behind the cash register.

“Sam?” a quiet voice made him jump a foot in the air.

“Jack…” Sam breathed heart racing, “you, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” the boy said sheepishly, fiddling with his hands.

“Did you need something?”

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed looking deep in concentration for a moment before looking up with a satisfied smile.

“No.”

Of course not…

“Hey hey… I thought I told you to stay at the table,” Dean pointed a handful of straws at Jack accusatorially.

“I got bored.”

“You got…?” Dean snorted, “Whatever, I don’t care, just go back and sit on your ass until we bring the food over.”

Now Sam was annoyed, “you ordered for me?”

“Yeah, don’t give me that look, you always get the same thing anyway.”

“Excuse me sir…” the bored teenager blinked wearily at them, “what dipping sauce did you want with the nuggets?”

Both brothers looked instinctively towards Jack who just looked confused, “Sauce?”

We’ve got, Barbeque, Sweet and Sour, Signature Sauce, Ranch…” the teen trailed off at the blank look on Jack’s face.

They sighed and clearly having stopped giving a fuck by this time of night reached below the counter and plunked two multicolored fistfuls of sauces onto their tray.

Jack’s eyes went wide, “Thank you, you’re very nice!”

“Go nuts kid," they sighed going back about their business yelling at someone behind the counter about a lack of fresh fries..

Jack beamed at the brothers, Dean rolled his eyes looking like he was about to say something but Sam interrupted grabbing two cups from the tray and pulling the boy away before Dean could say something snarky and crush his enthusiasm.

"Since Dean said he has the food," Sam handed the confused Nephilim a paper cup, "I've got a new job for you…"

Jack followed Sam like a duckling over to the drink machine holding his cup gingerly with both hands and just… staring.

Sam felt incredibly awkward doing a simple task with a rapt audience.

"You just…" Sam gestured for a moment then sighed going through the process of filling his cup with ice figuring it would be better to just show the boy.

He got lemonade as it seemed to be the only option that didn't have a thousand grams of sugar and dye and felt oddly accomplished as Jack watched him work the machine with awe.

He carefully finished capping the cup and putting in the straw, and then found himself almost pushed away in Jack’s eagerness to apply his new skill.

Jack painstakingly and carefully filled the cup with ice and then peered at all the spigots looking mildly overwhelmed.

"Just pick what looks good to you buddy," Sam found himself saying amused.

Jack nodded seriously, at this point in the less than a day of what made up his entire life on Earth it was probably very important to him.

He eventually settled on some strangely flavored Sprite with a bright green and orange label smiling triumphantly at Sam as he managed to start the machine.

It took all of four seconds for Jack’s triumph to turn to horror as the soda neared the top of the cup and then proceeded to fizz over.

Oh right… newborns know nothing about carbonation...

Before Sam had a chance to react Jack panicked and in his hurry to pull the cup away managed to slosh a good bit of it over his hands and part of his jacket cuffs.

"Whoa whoa, hold on," Sam reached out to steady the cup and Jack stepped back with his dripping sleeves held out in front of him.

"I… I'm sorry, did…"Jack looked forlornly up at him, "did I do that?"

"Did you…" Sam blinked perplexed, "Oh no no, no that wasn't… the machine is supposed to add bubbles to some stuff. I really should have warned you… um."

The boy stared at him, wet hands still stuck out awkwardly.

"There should be a bathroom you…" Sam sighed setting down both drinks and gently guiding him in that direction, "you'll need to wash your hands before they get all sticky, do you know how to…"

Jack blinked and said as if it was obvious, "mom taught me how to wash my hands."

Ah yes, the mysterious Nephilim fetus telepathy Jack had mentioned before.

"Right yes, go… do that, and I'll wait for you at the table, okay?"

Jack nodded and headed off to the bathroom arms still stuck out. And Sam dealt with the drinks and went to guard the table while thanking Kelly up in heaven.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

"Where the hell’s the kid?" Dean said when he arrived with their tray of sauces and food.

"Bathroom, there was uh… a mishap with the soda machine," Sam said sheepishly.

Dean put down the tray with a little more force than necessary and looked around wildly, like he was half ready to draw his gun..

"Seriously?" Sam deadpanned, "dude, would you just chill, he's not going to open up a hell gate in the men’s room."

"You were supposed to watch him," Dean said accusatorily.

"Half of creation wants him dead and we're literally the only living people he knows, where would he even go?'

"You're really buying this lost puppy routine Sam?"

"Ah yes, because we all have such devious plans when we're a day old," Sam muttered dryly.

Dean rolled his eyes, "You know that’s not the same. And this is exactly what I'm talking about Sam, he already has you under his thumb."

"He's a kid not a prisoner, and I'm not going to treat him like one when he hasn’t actually done anything."

"Because waiting until he kills someone is a great idea,”Dean muttered darkly unwrapping his Big Mac and taking a pointed bite.

Sam ignored him, snatching a few of Dean's fries petulantly.

"Really?" Dean huffed with his mouth full, "eat your own food…"

Sam blinked innocently, "I wanted fries, you got me salad, you should’ve asked."

Dean rolled his eyes and Sam snorted a laugh pulling his actual meal off the tray.

"How long has that kid been gone anyway?"

"Uh, ten minutes…?" Sam said sheepishly.

Dean paused, "to wash his hands?"

"It's fine," Sam said, coating his salad with dressing, definitely not concerned.

Dean looked about ready to leap up and make sure Jack hadn't teleported off to destroy Chicago, but thankfully about then the kid finally emerged.

"What took you so long?" Dean asked, annoyed when he reached the table.

"It… it was different than at the house," Jack said playing with his hands nervously, “there were two sinks…”

Dean and Sam both looked at each other in confusion, Sam shrugged, maybe it was a kid thing?

"It's fine, just come sit down," Sam brushed it off patting the seat beside him Jack took it, still eyeing Dean a little warily.

Dean grabbed his fries and did his best to move them out of Sam's reach then pushed the tray with the rest of the food towards Jack.

"Here, McNuggets, fries, eat," Dean said gruffly.

Sam handed Jack his drink he’d salvaged with a little less roughness, the boy thanked him and everything lapsed into awkward silence.

Sam cleared his throat, “so um… I was thinking, in the morning we need to stop at a thrift store or something.”

“Yeah, why?” Dean asked, preoccupied with his food.

“For Jack,” Sam explained, “he only has the one set of clothes, and his shirt already has a big bloody hole in it.”

“Just lend him some of your clothes if it bothers you so much,” Dean balked.

Sam snorted at the image “We’re not exactly the same size, he’d be swimming in them, and besides Jack doesn’t even own his own underwear.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “there’s no point in buying a bunch of crap he’s probably never going to get the chance to-” Dean paused distracted.

He reached over to grab the sauce Jack was struggling to open and tore off the top, “you pull the tab,” he said gruffly.

Jack gave a small unsure smile and went about more cautiously opening more of the sauce packets, “Is your house close by?” he asked hopefully.

“It’s not a house, it’s a bunker…” Dean said bluntly, his voice softened to normal after catching Sam’s glaring at him, “And no, it’ll take a few more days..”

Jack shoulders drooped for a moment before he sighed softly, shook himself and got back to contentedly opening and lining up one of every sauce in a big arc.

Maybe the long hours on the road were tiring him out to… Sam made a note to find something for the kid to do besides nap and sit in awkward silence over the next few days.

“Is it a very big place?” Jack asked after a minute.

“Just eat your McNuggets,” Dean sighed.

Jack looked sheepish but, seeming satisfied with his rainbow of sauces, finally opened his box of chicken nuggets and took one out eyeing it a little warily.

“They’re good I promise,” Sam prompted him gently.

Jack nodded seriously and finally took a cautious bite.

The kid’s eyes lit up and he looked up at Sam, a big smile quickly spreading across his face as he chewed..

Sam was unable to stop himself from smiling back.

"They're good!" Jack declared happily.

Sam chuckled and stabbed a fork into his own food ignoring the look he could feel Dean giving him. “Bite me Dean,” Sam thought. Good things in their life were too rare not to smile at a kid’s obvious joy.

Jack hummed happily to himself as he sampled his fries next but he again ran into a bit of snag when it came to his drink, he put his mouth over the end of his straw-like he saw Sam and Dean do, but then paused and looked perplexed. He pulling the straw out of his mouth and then tried again, still clearly not getting anything. He huffed and pressed his lips together in frustration.

Sam noticed and cleared his throat to get the boy’s attention telegraphed the process for Jack to follow, being sure to make a loud enough slurping noise that the boy realized what he had done wrong despite the disturbed look it earned him from Dean.

It was worth it to see the lightbulb go off in Jack’s head and the pleased mildly overwhelmed look on the boy’s face when he got his first taste of pop.

"Sam," Jack said a little sheepishly after a minute, dipping one of his nuggets in barbeque sauce, "can I ask you a question?"

“Shoot”

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed.

Sam kicked himself mentally, “I mean, yeah, sure, of course, ask away.”

Jack nodded, still looking a little confused, “Um, my mom she taught me a lot of things, but I keep finding new things that I don’t… get?”

It made sense, Kelly only had, what?, a few short months? Weeks? Who knew how short of a window between when a Nephilim gained awareness and when they were actually born to teach her son all she could. And while Sam sent a thankful prayer up to heaven for her positive influence (and for her teaching Jack things that would be incredibly awkward to have to teach to a kid that looked Jack’s physical age) he doubted things like why McDonald’s workers wore weird topless hats made the cut.

“Like what?” Sam prompted him gently.

"Like…" Jack looked a little unsure, "why there were two different sinks in the bathroom."

Sam opened and closed his mouth, the answer felt so obvious he had to be missing something, "what do you mean?"

"Well one was normal and had a handle though it didn’t stay turned on," he described, "but the other one,” Jack looked a little uncomfortable, “ It turned on whenever it looked at me…"

Dean nearly choked on his drink.

“When it… looked at you?” Sam asked carefully as Dean hacked up a lung.

Jack nodded looking mildly concerned towards Dean, “Um… yes, and the paper towels did the same thing and so did… what I think was soap?”

“What you think was soap?” Dean said incredulously, clearing his throat.

Jack nodded, “the sink with the handle had a regular bar of soap, but it was in a cage that I couldn’t see how to open to open it so I used the foam stuff the machine by the other sink spat at me.”

Dean’s mouth opened and closed then he buried his face in his hands.

“Um… Well I think the foam was probably soap…” Sam blinked deciding to ignore the i ndecipherable cage part, “and the sink, it… it wasn’t watching you… or spitting at you, the sink and stuff like that just have a little machine inside that makes them turn on whenever something blocks the light. It can’t actually see you.”

“Oh…” Jack looked equal parts relieved and disappointed, he shrugged again seemingly satisfied and went back to happily testing sauces.

“Soooo evil,” Sam muttered in Dean’s general direction making his brother roll his eyes and ignore him in favor of his burger.

Jack for his part seemed nonplussed continuing to experiment with his fries and nugget pulling various faces.

He paused after a moment looking genuinely confused, pushing a bright orange sauce in Sam's general direction and pointing carefully with one finger, “this one it makes my tongue feel…” he screwed up his brow, “stingy?”

Sam borrowed one of Jack’s fries to test it himself, “Buffalo sauce, it's spicy…” he explained gently.

“Spicy…” Jack tried the word in his mouth.

“Do you not like it?” Sam asked.

“I don’t…” Jack tilted his head slightly in thought making Sam’s chest feel heavy, reminding him for all the world of Cas.

“I don’t think I want to feel like anything else is attacking me today…” Jack said tapping a McNugget pensively against its box.

Sam smiled sadly, “I don’t blame you.”

"Do you like spicy things?" Jack asked him curiously.

"I guess, sometimes," Sam said offhandedly turning back to his own salad

Sam heard faint rustling and looked up to see Jack holding out the partially eaten sauce to him expectantly.

"Oh um… thank you," Sam took it sheepishly, not having the heart to tell the kid he had no use for it on his salad.

Jack smiled satisfied going back to his own food.

"Okay," Dean announced after a few more minutes balling up his trash, "we should probably get going…"

“We just..” Sam muttered through a mouth full of salad pausing halfway through to swallow, ( he didn’t want to be teaching Jack bad habits early ) “We just got here.”

“You’re almost done eating anyway, and he’s…”

Jack looked owlishly up from where he was casually dipping a single Mcnugget in every one of his sauces.

Dean blinked incredulously at Jack for a long moment, “anyway… we have a lot of ground to cover and we need to get moving. You remember what happened back at the police station, until we find some way to ward the kid or get back to the bunker sitting still is painting a big blinking target on our back.”

Sam sighed but knew his brother was right, “okay, fine but we can’t wait five more minutes...?”

Dean rubbed tiredly at his face, “Whatever, I’m going to the john before we leave, you can deal with... that.”

Dean got up from the table muttering something that looked suspiciously like, “two sinks?” under his breath.

Sam wished Dean would at least stop talking about Jack like an object to his face.

He turned towards the boy and did a double-take.

“Jack stop, don’t do that you’ll choke.”

Jack stopped trying to hurry by stuffing multiple McNuggets into his mouth at once looking like a sheepish chipmunk.

“I’m not going to take them away from you Jack,” Sam told him gently.

Jack chewed and swallowed before answering earnestly (making Sam feel like he’d made at least one positive foster parent decision and wasn’t completely failing Cas) “I know… but if Dean’s right, I don’t want anyone here to get hurt like at the police station…”

Sam wished he wasn’t so physically and emotionally exhausted so he could come up with a good way to convince the kid that what happened wasn’t his fault but for now he settled on just distracting Jack by asking him what was his favorite out of his sauce rainbow.

Jack’s eyes lit up and he launched into his explanation as he finished up his nuggets and shared his fries with Sam. Sweet and Sour, Honey Mustard, Barbeque, his favorites were all the sweetest sauces to no one’s shock. Still, with the literally and figuratively hellish 48 hours Sam had had, having Jack go on and on pleased with something simple was a nice distraction for the older man to.

Sam nodded along with a soft smile, Jack helping him clean up the table when they finished, continuing to chatter like he was determined to test every adjective he’d learned up to that point to describe his most recent culinary experience.

“And I don’t know what zesty means but that one tasted very confused,” Jack waved and gave the tired late-shift worker a cheerful, “goodbye,” as they made their way out to the Impala sitting on the back bumper to wait for Dean.

“Do you think there’s McDonald’s up in heaven where my mom is?” Jack asked Sam innocently still sipping his drink.

It hurt to hear the kid ask that, but Sam was thankful Jack had at least chosen the least painful recently deceased person to ask Sam about.

“I don’t know, heaven… it’s a place where people can relive their best memories, and I didn’t know your mother well enough to say,” Sam answered honestly.

Jack nodded solemnly but then gave Sam a cheerful smile, “I think if I was in heaven, there would definitely be a McDonald’s there, this place is wonderful.”

It was such a bizarrely bittersweet thing to say, but before Sam had a chance to respond the door to the McDonalds swung open with more force than necessary and Dean stepped out staring at Jack with a look of abject horror on his face.

“Please, please tell me you DID NOT wash your hands in the urinal!”