#I’ve gained such an appreciation and love for anyone who has drawn animals ever

[jebbabunga]

happy new year i’m obsessed with the lion king🙀😻

[starseed-twenty]

🌌 Jupiter in the Houses 💫

- Jupiter in 1st 💎

* Jupiter in 1H people are people who most likely have big features on their face/body (e.g, big eyes, big lips, a big forehead, big thighs, etc.)

* When you get to know them you'll probably find that they are the most confident people you've ever met (but they don't necessarily boast too much about it). They may even be too confident and it can manifest as arrogance.

* Fortune is not too scarce for them (throughout their life). They may have gone through rough patches here and there, but they always try and look at the positive side, and thus, positivity (fortune) comes in easily for them too.

- Jupiter in 2nd 💎

* I think this one is pretty obvious. People with 2H Jupiter are fortunate when it comes to finances, possessions, skills and luxury. Jupiter gives these people an abundance of what the 2nd house holds: money, assets, wealth, talents/skills, so they do find luck (if not now then later) when it comes to these things.

* Most likely they enjoy boasting (maybe in a lowkey way) about the things they have. From luxurious items, to their skills and abilities to do something, to their body (2H also rules the body).

* They also most likely hold many values, ethics & priorities and try to keep up to their many values.

- Jupiter in 3rd 💎

* People with this placement may be individuals who like to talk or enjoy thinking and talking or communicating to a bunch of people. People also just seem to be drawn to their way of communicating. They may even be digitally well-known.

* These people may also have a number of siblings, friends or cousins and probably get along with them well. It's not likely that they are lonely or have too few family members or friends [unless their Jupiter is badly aspected].

* They most probably also have a lot of activities or interests. This could range from hobbies they have, to a collection of something (movies, books, magazines, etc.) or social activities they're part of (such as clubs, societies, bands, etc.).

- Jupiter in 4th 💎

* Having Jupiter in the 4th house can make someone rather fortunate when it comes to foundations/groundwork. They've had good, proper and solid foundations throughout most of their life. This can range from forming a plan, to starting a business, to developing a hobby that ends up being something substantial.

* The 'Jupitarian abundance effect' for them might take on mostly the family department. They most likely also have a big home or family whom they really love and feel blessed to have.

* These individuals may also be pretty connected to their background/heritage. They really do try to connect with their roots and see the good in aligning with where (they feel) they come from.

- Jupiter in 5th 💎

* 5H Jupiter people are probably fortunate when it comes to the romance department. They like to meet people who seem very compatible with them and they gel really well. However, Jupiter likes to give things easy and give things a lot. Meaning, these romances don't last too long cause there's another one waiting.

* On the other side, these people may also have an abundance when it comes to children and have a lot of babies.

* They also probably have a ton of hobbies, or go out/have gone out a lot. They enjoy having fun out with the people they love. They also most likely enjoyed their teenage/adolescent phase, doing many things throughout their high school years.

- Jupiter in 6th 💎

* People with 6H Jupiter are often people who constantly have work or jobs to do or that they create for themselves. They enjoy it though, because Jupiter (being a positive planet) makes them see the positive side to it. This can then make them quite busy people.

* They most likely (lowkey) have an obsession with their body, how their body looks, how they should treat/feel about it, and what they eat. This is a stretch, but they may also be people who like to eat weird stuff or exotic stuff. Always trying things out.

* Most 6H Jupiter individuals also like pets/animals or have at least one pet/animal.

- Jupiter in 7th 💎

* People with this placement often meet plenty and various people throughout their life. And from the people they meet, they take or learn something. They almost never meet someone for no reason.

* They probably have this thing of giving people the benefit of the doubt. So they always try and see the positive in people, and have belief in the things they say.

* Similar to 5H Jupiter, they are fortunate in the romance department. They meet amazing people and get all carried away, falling in love in 0.2 seconds. Unfortunately, with Jupiter comes abundance, so these don't last as long as they'd hope for because the romance department is making room for more.

- Jupiter in 8th 💎

* Jupiter in 8th house people relatively receive an abundance of karmic experiences. They may suffer from one thing at some point, but eventually that suffering ends and breeds a new life within them.

* They may also suffer from feeling indebted though. It's like they see something great about giving to someone. Whether it be their family, friends, people from their past, or anyone, they have this sense of constantly giving [and sometimes giving their all to something too].

* This is a bit of a stretch, but these people (when they're emotionally/mentally healthy) can be some of the most iconic individuals. I see a lot of icons with this placement.

- Jupiter in 9th 💎

* Most 9H Jupiter individuals are either the most open-minded or the most closed-minded people you'll ever meet. Their way of thinking and sense of higher-knowledge is unique. You could either find it easy or hard to speak to them because of the beliefs they have.

* In general though, they are thought-seeking people who just love experiencing things. From travelling, to dates, to debates, to talking about dreams, etc.

* Fortunately, they also have their Jupiter where Jupiter enjoys being placed. The 9th house is naturally a good house for Jupiter because Sagittarius rules the 9th house and Jupiter rules Sag, so these lucky-stars live life with a bit of ease, connecting comfortably with the abundance that Jupiter has to offer.

- Jupiter in 10th 💎

* People with Jupiter in 10th are really fortunate. Not only to have this placement because this is pretty much the best one, but to have fortune when it comes to their career and public life.

* They are perfectly fit for the career or jobs they would like, they gain a lot of experience (pleasant experience too) in their field of work, and are seen as admirable/have a prestigious position.

* Their life can be focused too much on their career though if they don't also dig deep into their roots and appreciate their loved ones, so it's best they try to balance it out to live a successful life.

- Jupiter in 11th 💎

* Having Jupiter in 11th house can mean you connect with a group or groups of people in quite a beneficial way. There is an abundance and fortune when it comes to you involving yourself with certain groups, the community, societies, or social media.

* So 11H Jupiter is a pretty favourable placement for people who would like to one day be famous. If you have Jupiter in 11th then connecting with a large mass of people, mainly on social media, should not be too difficult or harmful for you.

* Your goals and aspirations are also ones that don't become too difficult for you as the power of Jupiter makes reaching them pretty easy. So if you're aiming at something, it'd be best for you to push it. Jupiter is with you.

- Jupiter in 12th 💎

* Jupiter in 12th house people, from what I've seen, are pretty spiritual people who typically come across an abundance of karmic experiences or get to see and feel spiritual insights throughout their life a lot.

* They see the positivity and beauty in aligning with spirituality and connecting with the subconscious/retreats from the world and believe that they mainly find their fortune there (which they do).

* These people may, more often than not, find it hard not to dream wild or have a 'grand scale' image of what they want/the things they plan. They keep a lot of hope for the future in that sense. At the same time though, they may get deeply sad (but try to keep it hidden) because they're such hopeful beings; and that sometimes people don't understand them.

Side-note: Having a Jupiter in retrograde can make the advantageous energy that Jupiter gives off a bit wonky or not as efficient/powerful as it normally would, so there are some (not-so-good) side-effects that could come around in your life if you have Jupiter in retrograde.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #341

“anger, misery, you’ll suffer unto me”

Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? I don't think so. Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? No, and I never would. Grow up. Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? No. Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it? Yeah; guilt would eat me alive otherwise. Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot? Fucking ew, no. Have you ever held back a well-deserved compliment because you were jealous? No. Do you guilt people into giving you what you want? Ugh, no. Would most people consider you better than average looking? Ha, no. For yourself, would you rather have a perfect body or high IQ? Give me the perfect body, living in my horrible one has affected my mental health badly enough. I'm fine with having a moderate IQ. I just want to feel happy in my own skin. Have you ever embarrassed some intentionally in public? Wow, no. Have you ever used a false ID? Also no. Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I'm embarrassed to tell people I don't HAVE a job. Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? I don't. I'm sure it was RP-related and not friendly, but I don't remember the exact convo. Have you ever got a D or F on your report card? I want to say no; I think the lowest I ever got was a C. If you had twins, would you give them rhyming names? Ugh, no. I'm sorry if you're into it, but I'm just not. I would want to ensure they knew their uniqueness and individuality was seen. Is there anyone that you wish was IN your life who used to be? There's a large number of those kinds of people. What brings out the worst in you? Probably when I'm building up towards a PTSD meltdown. I get VERY short and snappy and am convinced everyone hates and wants to leave me. My mouth also has NO fucking leash, and I know I can say very mean things that I'll regret later. What do you prefer, Skittles or Starbursts? Skittles. Mike & Ikes or Jolly Ranchers? Jolly Ranchers for sure. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Waffles (with syrup). Don't knock it 'til you try it, I'm telling you. What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? Besides birds obviously, there's squirrels, deer, opossums, raccoons... Have you ever had a lucid dream? I think I've had just one. What's your biggest problem at the moment? Probably my anxiety having stunted my growth in so many areas. Have you ever turned down a job offer? I don't think so, no. What's the longest hospital stay you've had? For what? I think my longest was almost two months for suicidal thoughts. Two months might sound long, but it was like... my third or so psych hospital stay for that same reason. What's something really basic that you're terrible at? Even the most simple math. I don't even know the majority of my elementary multiplication tables. Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I have one there already, but I plan on getting it covered because it was an impulse tattoo that I feel no connection towards. Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? My old house, yeah. Are you a beach, country, or city person? Country. Living in the suburbs has definitely reminded me of that... Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Typing, by a long shot. I make typos texting too much. Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yeah. Who is the last person that you said "I love you" to, besides family members? Sara. When was your first real relationship? Sophomore year of high school to early college. Have you ever cried over an ex? I've cried the entire mass of water on Earth over an ex lmao. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? No. Have you ever copied someone else’s homework? I think I have once or twice, but obviously with consent. What’s a hobby you would like to try out? If my legs worked like actual legs and I didn't sweat like an absolute pig, I would like to try out herping, but without actually interacting with the animal like picking it up and scaring the daylights out of it. I'd just be happy enough looking for reptiles, amphibians, and inverts to photograph instead. Does that still even count as herping? What was the last event you attended? My youngest niece's birthday party. How about the last event you organized? I've never organized an event. What’s something you get excited about doing and want to do it right away? Whenever I take nature pictures, I'm immediately keen to get them into Lightroom and do the postproduction. Is there anything you feel you’re better at than anybody else? Definitely not. What’s the biggest insect you’ve ever seen? If you exclude places like the zoo, that would probably be a rhinoceros beetle or something. Oh no, actually some kind of local moth I don't know the name of. They're beautiful big white boiz. How about the biggest spider? I might be mis-remembering, but I believe at a reptile convention I went to with Sara, one of the vendors had a goliath bird eater tarantula in one of the cups. I do know it was some tarantula species for sure, though. Who was the first person to break your heart? My dad. Obviously not romantically, but him just splitting on the family with no proper communication absolutely broke my heart for years. First person to give you flowers or candy on Valentine’s day? I'm sure that would be my parents. If you exclude them 'cuz that's kinda obvious, I believe it was Aaron, my first boyfriend. I'm pretty sure we were together on Valentine's Day, because I remember getting him a giant Hershey's Kiss. First band you obsessed about? I wasn't truly obsessed with any band 'til Ozzy in middle school. Can you do a backflip? No; I've never tried and never will. I was and still am too afraid of breaking my neck. Like I have a MASSIVE fear of paralysis, particularly from the neck down; that fear is actually the biggest one that keeps me from driving, fun fact. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Of the two, definitely a pessimist, but I at least think I align most with being a realist. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? I'm unsure. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same sex? Yeah. How many doors are in the room you’re in? Just one. Have you ever been engaged and broke it off? No. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Tyler once drew a picture of him and me. It was cute. That guy still dove in WAY too fast. Have you ever dated a redhead? I haven't, but I love redheads. Natural red hair is just gorgeous. What are your thoughts on facial hair on guys? Historically, I seem to generally like some, but it really depends on the guy's general appearance. I can like none at all or a full beard and mustache, it doesn't really matter to me. Did you go anywhere today? No; my mom is in Florida with her brothers totally cleaning out Grammy's house, so she's not here to take me anywhere. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Oh yikes, I have a lot. I honestly can't count because I've lost track of how many boys and girls Katie has. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do? Jesus. I'd rather die; some things just aren't worth living after, and I'd have no desire to keep going if I killed my father. Did you ever cry at the end of King Kong? I've never watched it, actually, but I. LOVED. The video game. I haven't played it in years and only faintly remember how it ends, but I don't remember crying. Are you in any amount of pain at the moment? Quite a lot, actually. It's kinda a TMI subject so I won't delve into it, just know I'm hurting like a bitch. What was the last sugary thing you ate? I snacked on some chocolate chips earlier today... which I really shouldn't have done, but I think I had reasonable restraint and didn't totally binge. When was the last time you did something extremely stupid? Who knows, that's not a rare occurrence, it feels like. Have you been to any parties lately? Only my niece's bday party in February. Thankfully it was kept pretty small, given Covid; not that anyone in that family besides my sister gives a flying fuck about precautions, though... Can you touch your pinky to your thumb around your wrist? Ugh, no. Close, but not enough. I still have thin wrists and hands, but yeah, yay for being overweight. If you were to start a charity, what would you call it? I'd hve to put more thought than I'm willing for one survey question. I'd have to decide what KIND of charity I want to start first, which I'm unsure of. Probably something related to animal wellfare and conservation or something similar to the Trevor Project. Maybe LBGTQ+ youth disowned by their families... I dunno. There's so much good I wish I could do. Are you comfortable with your body? Holy fuck no. It's only gotten worse since I started gaining weight again and almost entirely erased all weight loss progress I'd made. What is your recent inside joke? Most recently made? Idk, man. I don't make those often. Would you rather be a human, vampire, or a werewolf? Er, I'm good with being a human. If I was a vampire or werewolf, I wouldn't exactly be very welcomed, I'm sure, and both have seemingly painful traits to cope with. Are you good at giving directions? It is absolutely impossible for me. I have NO sense of direction, like, at all. I don't know highway names, local exits, etc. etc. etc. etc. Why did you last curse? Pain when readjusting myself due to aforementioned issue I'm having. What is your purpose in life? I hope it involves animals and spreading words of peace and an appreciation for art. What is one of your weak points? I'm very, very, very dependent on others. I'm really working on trying to correct that. I can barely do shit on my own as is. Who was the last person you heard snoring? My cat, haha. Would you rather shower by yourself or with another person? 100% by myself. Another person would just get in the way and make me VERY self-conscious of my body, even if it was my romantic partner. Just please leave me alone to hate myself for 10 minutes. :^) What was your last addiction? You could say my current one is John Wolfe, a really funny let's player I've gotten into. Been bingeing some of my favorite games he has playlists of for a few weeks now. You are in a tank full of spiders, what do you do? Well one, I'd like to know what kind they are. Venomous? Harmless? You gotta give me the details. If I don't have any, then I'm admittedly freaking the fuck out, even though I know I should stay very calm when trying to get out. Fear would win, though. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you? Saving the world from what? But odds are, yeah. I don't cherish my pretty damn mediocre life more than I do the lives of what, 8 billion people? Have you ever stayed up all night just to talk to someone? Yeah. When was the last time you eavesdropped someone? I kinda do that sometimes when Mom's on the phone and I can hear her from my room, and if they're on speaker. Particularly if the subject is me. When was the last time you went to a club? I've never been to one. How have you been sleeping? Poorly. Are you adopted? No, I'm not. Do you like scrapbooking? Not really, no. Do you collect anything valuable? "Valuable to me." <<<< This. Nothing of great monetary worth, though. Have you ever been beaten up? No, thankfully. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? I don't think so, in my personal life. What was the last thing you killed? An ant. Have you ever used someone for money? I never could, no. When was the last time you went to the zoo? Sigh, it's been many many years. I'm so ready to get my goddamn legs back in shape so I can go again, this time with a REAL camera, too. Last time I went was when I still only had a Kodak EasyShare; I have a professional Canon camera now with much more education on photography too, so I would be in absolute heaven with at least twenty memory cards in need, haha. Maybe next fall... Is there a teacher you hate more than anything? I actually never had a teacher I hated in my entire school career. It really, really is as simple as just being a respectful student. In most cases, I should emphasize, because I do understand some educators just suck. Now I had some teachers I wasn't very fond of, but most certainly none that I hated. Do you own colored eyeliner? No. Do you have manners? I honestly think I'm very mannerly. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? We last had to put my dog Teddy down; he had cancer and was literally withering away. I knew in my very core that even if we didn't bring him to the vet to euthanize him, he would've died naturally in a very short period of time; I doubt he would've survived another night. Now I'd like to move on. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination of Vraylar and Lamictal is the reason I'm alive. It keeps my bipolarity and depression under control. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but those are some of my favorite crafts visually. They're very pretty and cute. Can you see the mountains from where you live? Oh hunny, I wish. Did you ever play pranks on April Fool’s Day? As a kid, yeah. I don't anymore. I'm not really even a fan of April Fool's Day as an adult because of how cruel some jokes assholes play are. Which instrument would you play if you could learn to play one? Maybe violin. Do you part your hair on the left side, right side, or in the middle? The left. What are some names you like that start with the first letter of your name? Uhhhh Bianca, Braelynn (look I know it's so stereotypically Southern but it's pretty)... and idk from there, those are the two that come to mind first.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about We Bare Bears: The Movie

Salutations random people on the internet who probably won't read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. Today, I'm going to do one-fourth of what I do best by talking about We Bare Bears: The Movie. Now, if you're a member of the cartoon community, odds are you've heard of We Bare Bears. It might not be as well-remembered as shows like Adventure Time or Steven Universe. But We Bare Bears has gained its own following through its charm and simplicity. So much so, that the series got it's very own movie, acting as the series finale to the beloved show. And to honor that milestone, I thought I'd share my thoughts by listing the things I liked and disliked about the film. Keep in mind, this is your last chance to avoid spoilers if you haven't seen the film yet (even though it’s been out for more than a week). Because I'll be spoiling the heck out of the movie by listing plot details, characters, and little touches that I think are worth mentioning. With that out of the way, let's dive on in with-

WHAT I LIKED

The Baby Bears meeting: To me, this was the first indicator that the movie was going to be the end. The Baby Bears meeting always felt like a moment saved for the series finale to me. Because answering the question of whether, or not, the Baby Bears find a home isn't something we need an answer to. But learning about how they met? Now that is something I'm sure most fans were curious about. And in true Baby Bears style, it's big and epic while still being downright adorable. Not to mention that Grizz's line at the end of how not looking alike is the best part about being brothers is not only sweet, but it also sells the main moral of the movie. If I had to nitpick, a part of me wonders how their separate journeys got them all in that one spot. But that's just another question that doesn't really require an answer, so I'm alright with not receiving one. Besides, that's what fan-fiction is for. GET ON IT WRITERS!

The Bears Running Through the City: I'm sure some people are tired of the cliche of having characters run through the city because they're late for something. But to me, I think that type of thing works for a series finale. It offers one last glance at familiar environments, but familiar characters as well. Not only do you get to see the people who love the Bears the most, but you even see the Human Bros in the background as the Bears run. This scene also sets up the conflict of the film as the Bears accidentally wreak havoc to get to where they're going. Even more so than usual. Plus, the scene serves as an excuse to hear the extended version of the theme song. And personally, I just love it when a series finale finds a way to incorporate the theme in a way that's better than the opening.

The Bears Complaint File: This was another indicator that the movie was going to be the end of the series. Usually, when a show like We Bare Bears finally acknowledges consequences to a character's actions, it's safe to say that the end is nigh. Because this presents the idea that the characters are close to being the straw that broke the camel's back. Which is something you can never do twice.

The Bears Viral Video: There are going to be people out there who'll find the Bears' video of outdated memes cringy. And to those people, I say: "THAT'S THE FRICKEN POINT GENIUSES!" Seriously, the characters themselves point out how what they're doing is going to be cringy, so it's safe to say that it was very much the intention from the writers. Besides, We Bare Bears always had scenes, and entire episodes, that acknowledged modern trends. And unlike other shows and movies, We Bare Bears doesn't use memes to stay fresh and hip with the kids. Instead, the show-and movie for that matter-uses trends to tell a story that will be timeless. Albeit dated in a few years. The only complaint I'll accept is that you didn't find their video funny, which can be valid. As for me, yeah, I chuckled. Speaking of-

The Comedy: We Bare Bears might not be the funniest show I've seen, but it still gets a chuckle out of me from time to time. It works with an absurd sense of humor, which is either your thing or it isn't. As for the jokes in the movie, most of them work pretty well, and the ones that don't aren't too bad. Personally, my favorite scene is when the Bears slowly drive away from Wildlife Control. The fact that that plan worked was so absurd, I could not help but laugh.

The Blackout: This was the straw that I mentioned earlier. The Bears have finally crossed a line that turns several people against them. In fact, it's very reminiscent of Ed Edd and Eddy's Big Picture Show, where the characters are forced to leave after doing something unforgivable. Although, there's one thing that We Bare Bears: The Movie does better than Big Picture Show. In Big Picture Show, fans never really saw what the Eds did that was so horrid. We were just told that it was so bad that our trio had to leave everything behind. Never seeing the answer always bothered me as a kid because I was always curious about how their last scam was somehow their worst. This is why it's nice that we actually get to see what the Bears did that was so unforgivable in We Bare Bears: The Movie.

Agent Trout: At some point, if you found Trout to be the most unlikeable piece of trash that he is, then you found the writers' possible intention. Trout acts as the movie's main antagonist, and on top of that, a character you're not supposed to like. And granted, there have been movie antagonists that are pure evil, but audiences can't help but love them anyway. But personally, I feel like making Trout a likable antagonist would have spoiled the point of the film. The movie's message, which I'll get into later, is about how being strange is ok, and that anyone can fit into society. Because society changes and people become accepting of these changes, every day. Trout is meant to represent the type of people who refuse the idea of change. He is a character who believes everything should operate as nature intended, which in this film's case, having bears reside in their natural habitats. And I honestly think Trout does his part as an antagonist really well. He's easy to hate for all the right reasons, and it's satisfying to see him get his coupons. It's also even better that we don't know his motivations to be so cruel to the Bears. Because there are real-life people out there who share Trout's mindset, with zero reasons behind why. Plus, his design is really great, being devoid of color and drawn with sharp edges in comparison to the bright and smooth looking characters. It helps him stand out from most characters in the show, while also making less overly threatening that the hunter in "Yuri and Ice Bear."

Officer Murphy: As far as I know, Officer Murphy was never really that big of a character. In fact, I don't even remember if the show mentioned his name until this movie. So to some fans, it might come off as a surprise that Murphy is given such an enormous role in this movie. Regardless, the position Murphy has is a great one. He is meant to represent the positive type of law enforcement. The officers who don't punish people due to who they are or what they look like. Instead, Officer Murphy is an officer who upholds the law to protect others. Take note of the fact that Murphy never wanted to physically or emotionally hurt the Bears. He understood that the Bears crossed the line and needed to be punished, but never to the extremes that Trout took. Speaking of Trout, Murphy acts as a great comedic sidekick for the antagonist. There's this nice running joke where Trout shoves random food in Murphy's mouth when Murphy makes an unwanted comment. And said running joke also leads to a great payoff in the movie's final act. So while I'm surprised at Murphy's inclusion, I gotta say that I really appreciate it.

Mystery Machine Cameo: I'm the biggest Scooby-Doo fan you'll ever meet, so believe when I say that seeing the iconic van just made me giddy.

Pizza Rat: I'll be the first to admit that Pizza Rat was a scumbag for betraying the Bears. But gosh darn it he was hilarious. I'm not kidding, whenever Pizza Rat showed up, he got funnier and funnier with each scene. Especially with his hatred of the rat with Spaghetti.

Grizz’s Nightmare: There are two things I really like about this scene. The first is that Grizz's nightmare is easily the creepiest the show has gotten. Seriously, something tells me that Trout's face being on the death train is going to be in kids' nightmares for weeks. The second is that there is some outstanding visual symbolism in this scene. It shows how Grizz is under a lot of stress for carrying the weight of protecting his brothers at all costs. Not only is that the best symbolism the show has ever used, but the scene gives the perfect insight into Grizz as a character. It's rare that we ever get to see the serious side of him, so I appreciate this one last glimpse into his personality.

That Epic Car Chase: If I'm being honest, there were not that many scenes that showed this movie being anything else than an extended episode. But this scene, however, was the most cinematic that We Bare Bears have ever been. The quality animation and cinematography help make the scene action-packed and surprisingly tense at times. Like I genuinely felt worried for my favorite trio of weirdos. There's not much I can say about this scene other than it was pretty impressive as well as awesome.

The Bears’ Plan Fails: It's weird saying that I like this, but I do. The movie could have gone down the same route as The Simpsons Movie by having the plan work for the sake of a joke. But no. We Bare Bears: The Movie actually employs logic and says, "you can't move to a new country, without a passport." And I can't help but give kudos to a movie that doesn't allow a simple solution.

The Third Act Break Up: Ah yes, the one cliche scene that makes audiences go "Really? We're doing this song and dance again?" Now, here's my defense: When it comes to something made for kids, you gotta be more forgiving of cliches. Odds are, some children watched this movie, and this will be their first third act break up. So you can't really fault the film for wanting to use a popular cliche. Granted, you could wish to have your kids watch something original, but that's a request that gets harder to do with each day. Besides, some cliches, like the third act break up, aren't bad unless they're done correctly. And I honestly think the movie uses the cliche just fine. The tension between Grizz and Panda has been built up throughout the film, so one final blow-out was bound to happen. Plus, the Bears don't really break up, but rather argue. If Panda had walked off dramatically, after saying "we're not brothers," then I would consider it a break up. Instead, it comes across as characters saying things they don't mean due to the heat of the moment.

Trout’s Bear Sanctuary: This was depressing but in a good way. The colors being swapped out from the show's usual bright pastels to dull and gray? That perfectly explains how dire the situation is without outwardly stating it. And yeah, I got a little misty eyed when watching this scene.

Grizz Talking to Baby Grizz: Another scene that I thought would be endgame would be having the grown-up Bears meeting the Baby Bears. I always dismissed this idea because I kept reminding myself of how it was impossible. I mean, how can you make characters meet a younger version of themselves? Turns out, the answer to that question was to have the younger version of a character act as a conscience. And yeah, this scene was pretty sweet and charming. And once again, my eyes started to get all misty. The tears didn't fight hard enough to get out, but they still fought pretty hard. Also, was it just me, or did it sound like Baby Grizz's voice actor was beginning to hit puberty?

The Bears Cheering for Grizz: I'm not the only one who thought it sounded like the bears were chanting/roaring Grizz's name, right? Because that's what I heard during this scene. Also, this scene was pretty epic, while doing its job to get me hyped up for what happens next.

The Moral: I've touched upon this moral earlier, and I want to make it clear how important it is. Some people feel as though they don't fit in anywhere, mostly because law enforcement has a history of punishing those that don't. But as Grizz says: "Nature adapts." The same goes for society. More and more people are fitting into groups that make them feel welcome. And those groups become more accepted with each passing year. Now to be fair, there are scum bags like Trout, who seek to punish people who are different. But again, there are still good souls like Murphy that attempt to do the morally correct thing no matter who/what you are. And I have to give kudos to We Bare Bears: The Movie for showing the brighter side of things. Because let's face it, we all could use something positive as of late. And I'm sure there are going to be people out there who'll call this movie 'preachy' and 'overly optimistic.' To those people, I would like to once again point out that this is a kid's film. Yes, kids are smarter than we give them credit for. But that doesn't mean you should give the harsh truth about how hard issues won't have simple solutions. They at least have until their teen years before that happens. Besides, look at the ending shot of bears normally fitting in with the rest of society. If you can see that and not love the symbolism being represented, then this film clearly is not for you.

WHAT I DISLIKED

It’s More of an Extended Episode Rather Than a Movie: Before I explain, I want to make it very clear that this is mostly a nitpick. Like I said before, there weren't many scenes that made this movie feel like, well, a movie. The animation never seemed better in comparison to the show, there weren't that many cinematic scenes, and the story didn't feel all that epic either. I honestly feel like the bears went on grander adventures than the one they went on here. Like the first time they became wanted criminals in "Captain Craboo." Yeah, remember that episode? It was emotional, intense, and actually kind of epic at times. And that episode was a half-hour long! The movie was an hour and eight minutes, and it still couldn't outdo the quality of "Captain Craboo." I know that I'm being a little harsh. But when I see "the movie" attached at the end of a show's title, I expect something grander and more epic than the original show. And yeah, We Bare Bears: The Movie is good for an extended episode, but not for what I consider for a movie.

What Supporting Cast?: Here's where looking at the movie as a series finale becomes an issue. This is the last time we'll see ALL of the characters from the show. So giving no proper goodbye from the supporting cast, who have all been significant people in the Bears' lives, feels wrong. The best-or rather worst-example of how wrong this is would be Nom-Nom. This was a character who was on the road towards redemption. So to have his last appearance show that he's the same jerk as he started is disappointing. The worst part is that the movie had the right idea with Charlie's scene. He helps the Bears one last time and says he's happy to do it for all the times they helped him. It's a touching moment and honestly feels like a proper goodbye to his character. And I can't help but see ways that the movie could have included the rest of the supporting cast. Have Ranger Tabes join Murphy and Trout due to her being a bear expert. Have Nom-Nom stand up for the bears at the Internet Animal rave. Have Chloe literally do anything other than stand and watch her best friends in the world be in danger! I understand that the Bears are the main characters who deserve most of the closure. But that doesn't mean other characters should be left in the dust because of it.

Panda’s Kind of Annoying: Cards on the table, I'm not the biggest fan of Panda. I don't think he's the worst character or even a bad one. But to me, he always came across as so whiney and annoying, and he's somehow worse in the movie. I get that he's a straight man who's meant to be the voice of reason, but there's a way to make a character like that entertaining. Some amazing straight men are specific iterations of Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Velma from Scooby-Doo. Those are characters that know how to be the calm of the crazy storm that their fellow cast. They offer witty comments and charismatic one-liners that prove they could also hold off on their own at times. Panda never really did that for me in neither the show nor the movie. He has his entertaining moments for sure, but most of them get overshadowed by his weaker ones. So while I don't exactly hate Panda, I can't really say I love him.

Ice Bear Does Next to Nothing: I'm not the only one who thinks Ice Bear was underutilized, right? In fact, We Bare Bears: The Movie is also similar to Ed Edd and Eddy's Big Picture Show in how to write its main trio. Both films pay more attention to the relationship between the leader and the straight man, where the comic relief is there for jokes and to give the occasional contribution. However, it's easy to forgive with Ed, because his character has little to offer other than being a loveable doofus. But Ice Bear? He has so much personality, so much backstory, and so much more to his character that you could make an entire movie just about him. Plus, going back to the fact that the film is a series finale, this is not a proper conclusion to his character. Sure, it's nice to see the Bears be accepted for who they are, but what about all that stuff with Yuri? Are you seriously telling me that the show wouldn't do anything with the fact that Ice Bear fell in love with Yuri's daughter?! I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I really wish the movie had something more in store for Ice Bear.

On The Road Song: Out of all the good qualities that We Bare Bears have, having good music isn't one of them. The few songs that the show has are not bad by no means but aren't really songs I would find myself listening to on repeat. The same goes for "Road Trip Song." It's perfectly fine, but nothing more than mediocre. Plus, weirdly, it's the only song in the movie. I mean, if you're gonna introduce something like a musical number, at least go all out with making a musical. I'm not saying the film should have been like Steven Universe: The Movie in terms of a soundtrack, but at least have two or three more songs. As is, it just feels like a weird detour on the road to Canada.

The Bears Survive Falling Off a Cliff:...That’s it. Just the ludicrousy of the fact that the Bears survive a fall like that. When you think about it, it removes a lot of the tension when you they could survive huge feats like that too.

Overall, We Bare Bears: The Movie gets a well earned B+ for me. When you judge it as a movie AND as a series finale, it loses a lot of points. But when you look at it as an extended episode? You get something that has a great moral, an outstanding antagonist, and a nicely put together story. Like the original show, I'm probably not going to remember it in about ten years down the line. As for the here and now, I'm glad I took the time to watch something so much more than BEARable.

(Now if only we got that Amazing World of Gumball movie. GET ON IT CARTOON NETWORK!)

[thevoilinauttheory]

If They Were a Deity | Liliah’to

( Thank you so much for the tag @hadriandemara-ffxiv​!! I had so much fun doing this version, and I appreciate you giving me the chance to do so! I’ve done something like this for: Maximiloix, Danny, Amosis, and M’nhea! You’d think that my next endevor would be Lothaire, but honestly, Lothaire would make a shitty deity. And I need to get word of Liliah’to out again, so where to start but here~ ) ( I am also tagging: @renofmanyalts​ to do one for Maati; as well as @jasleh​, @munchix-home-cooking​, @astralyehga​, @ahlis-xiv​, @egrine​, @mathemagiks​ for Scrap!, and @ever-searching​ for Storm! )

Deity of: Culinarians, food and brews, traveling merchants, happiness, optimism, and healing through magic and medicine

Associated with: long winding paths, forks in roads; dirt, gravel, cobblestone; wind and water, foraging, cornucopias, river stones, wild game, laughter, smiles, homeopathic remedies, building from scratch, house brews, meal-time, cooking, restaurants 

Sacred plants: Dandelions, Lavender, Sunflowers; any fresh herb or vegetable is sacred to him. These flowers are often left on altars as offerings, but the best offering is to create something out of them - flower crowns, tea, oil, soaps, salads - as long as it’s made with hand and love, that is what’s most important.

Sacred crystals/stones: Clear Quartz, Halite, Honey Calcite; unassuming, smooth, river stones. The quartz and calcite are used in prayers, while halite is often consumed with the meal as a seasoning; river stones are to be used as a soup stock. Confusing these stones will also confuse him, though no harm will come of it (unless you decide to digest the other stones, then there may be some other god you need to pray to for that).

Sacred animals: Deer, Wildfowl, Wild Hogs; any hunted animal for a meal. Animals that are hunted for the specific purpose of becoming a meal are to be blessed and honored after they are killed. To thank the land, and Liliah’to, for the bounty.

Colors: Green, White, Black Those that worship him often dress themselves in green and white; on holidays, traditionally colored candles are lit in his honor, while black is worn during meals.

Food: Any - specifically with foraged ingredients. During holidays associated with him, it is polite to create meals from herbs, meats, and vegetables grown out in the wild; but not necessary - a home cooked meal is enough to gain his blessing.

Scents: Petrichor, Sweet Pea, savory seasonings and cooked meals.

Accepted offerings/ways to honor: Liliah’to has many ways to be honored, creating meals from scratch are the best offerings; though simply enjoying a meal with friends, strangers, and family, are also accepted. 

Other offerings include his sacred flowers and stones, home-made brews, potions, water and wind crystals, hand-drawn pictures and artwork, fallen applewood or hickory branches (do not clip the branches, unless the tree is specifically grown in his honor), collected rainwater, worn down boots and shoes, and worn cookware.

Gardens can be planted in his honor and as offerings, but it is tedious to maintain if one is not used to growing plants. Gardens that die and are left to wilt are considered an insult to him - and while he is benevolent enough not to punish anyone, he will still be hurt enough to ignore your offerings and leave you with no blessings. Gardens that die that are reclaimed - either by the same person, due to lengthy illness, or by another should that person have passed on - are given greater blessings to help grow what was once there.

Liliah’to is a welcoming and benevolent god, offering great bounties to those who worship him - regardless of whether it is purposeful or not. He delights in homecooked meals and drinks; and brings healing to those who need it. He is not easily insulted, though when he is, he bears no punishment to anyone - he can be forgiving, though stubborn in doing so.

He has two holidays throughout the year, one celebrated throughout the 2nd Umbral Moon and 3rd Astral Moon; and another throughout the 5th Umbral Moon and 6th Astral Moon. 

The first, celebrated in the springtime, is to honor healing and medicine. Meditation is expected from the most devout followers, but for the casual follower, they will often take a religious holiday break from work to destress and spend time with loved ones. Offerings on these moons are usually flowers and herbs, as well as hand made drinks - such as teas, lemonades, and fruit-waters. Alcoholic beverages are avoided for offerings during these moons, but are consumed in celebration of life and what the land brings.

The second, celebrated in the autumn, is used to honor the harvest and meals. Food is shared with everyone and the best offering to leave for him is to share in your creations. Meals and conversation with strangers are done in observation of his holidays, and offerings left include homecooked meals, homemade alcoholic beverages, and any leftover harvest. These moons are seen as a more “loud” celebration compared to that of the spring, and can be spent partying, traveling in groups with strangers from one city to another, candlelit paths to nearby towns, and overall filled with song and happiness.

-

Those that follow Liliah’to closely are often aspiring chefs, traveling merchants, and restaurants. Restaurants opened in his name are often decorated with his colors and flowers, and pride in fresh food and grown gardens.  He is fond of them and offers blessings in their business; but he favors the traveling culinarian more. Sometimes, he will seek out these travelers - even without worship to him - and bless them with luck and safety on their paths.  Medics and apothecaries also favor him, for his association with medicine and healing. Homeopathic remedies are blessed by him before use to ensure their potency; and he will listen intently to the troubles of those suffering from grief, stress, and mental illness, and bring them peace when they are done.

[ephemeral-afterlight]

✴ and 🐾 for the sanders sides asks?

✴ - What is your theory on the next dark side?

Hmmm… this one, I have a bit of an odd relationship with. I know a lot of this comes from the colour theory (which I do enjoy!), and subsequently means that everyone is waiting for the Orange side. I’m… honestly not sure! I don’t really think of new side theories often, so this is really the first time I’ve contemplated it. I don’t think it’d be something like “Hate” (one I see a lot) because hatred in itself is classified more as a feeling rather than a trait and would fall under Patton’s reign. Obviously, this is not a prevalent aspect of Thomas/c!Thomas’ personality, but if it were to exist, I don’t think it’s a big enough aspect to constitute a completely separate side. I see “Wrath” as well, but I’m also a little bit iffy on that one because something about it feels almost redundant. 

In terms of traits already existing, you have most of them taken already: Logan is Thomas’ logic, critical thinking skills, problem-solving, thirst for knowledge, etc., Patton is his sense of morality and holds a lot of his emotional reactions, Virgil is his anxiety, caution, and fight-or-flight response, the Creativitwins make up his creativity, passion, and drive to create, and Deceit is his self-preservation, part of his survival instinct, and the purveyor of his want to better himself through any means possible. A lot of possible traits a new side could have are already overseen by the sides that have already been introduced, which is why a new side would have to come from a very different place than the rest of them do. So, I don’t personally have many ideas on what they could be, but regardless, I believe it’ll be interesting to see what the team comes up with!

🐾 - What pet do you think each of the sides would have?

Ahh, this one will be fun! This is drawn quite a bit from my animal communication au, and I have given some thought to this before.

Logan - Okay, listen. Logan is a Nerd™ and therefore couldn’t help himself when he got a pretty raven that resides in his room. He’s pretty quiet and calm, and therefore doesn’t distract him from his work, but also allows Logan the option of stroking his feathers as a destressing technique. Nobody knows this, since he doesn’t ever allow anyone in his room, but Logan also has a cat and a dog, which are both well-behaved and don’t get into fights with each other, which is the only reason he got them in the first place. His cat is a really pretty Birman cat with deep blue eyes and the softest fur, who will sit on his desk while he’s working (which initially annoyed him), something Logan realized she does when she senses that he’s too stressed out and needs to take a break and relax. Although it used to be something he viewed as an inconvenience, now that he understands her intentions, he has a respectful appreciation for her care. His dog is a Border Collie and Lab mix, which is admittedly a much bigger dog than he was comfortable with, but she’s not too rowdy and has come to act as a therapy/emotional support dog. Apparently, she also has adopted his cat’s awareness, and will tug lightly at his shirt as her own way of getting him out of his head. He never really has been one for pets or animal in general, but he adores the ones he has, and he wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Dee - I can’t help myself. Snakes! Awesome snakes! Cold-blooded animals are his friends. He has two snakes that will chill wrapped around his shoulders, but he also has a huge Boa Constrictor named Ethel that doesn’t leave his room. He also has an enormous aquarium (floor-to-ceiling) full of all different colours and types of fish. He also has a tree frog somewhere, but she just does whatever she wants, so Dee doesn’t see her very often, at least not until she’ll randomly hop onto his hat and scare the shit out of him.

Roman - Okay, listen. He may be a prince, but he is also a princess, and therefore can talk to woodland animals and gain their trust very easily. He likes to sit in fields in the Imagination and animals will just be… drawn to him. Deer, rabbits, birds, even a huge bear that will let him use its stomach as a pillow. He just loves meeting them all! He also has a parrot named Mallory that resides in his room and will perch on his shoulder while he’s working, and the things that she says… well, without context, there have been some weird interactions with her.

Some examples of this include:

One time, Patton came up to ask if Roman was hungry, but instead found Mallory alone, sitting on a bedpost. She and Patton stared each other down without a word, and then she said “Sleep is for cishets”, and Patton never came into Roman’s room without knocking ever again.

“That’s not what eggs are supposed to be used for!”

Any time Virgil is in her presence, they curse each other out with increasingly profane vocabulary, and it is a mystery how she knows words that even Virgil has never heard before.

“No job! I’m gay, give me money!”

Once, Logan got into an actual argument with her over how the oven works. This is not the first time this has happened.

Patton walked in on Roman and Mal saying the words “Ranch dressing” to each other over and over again. He wishes he understood, but he doesn’t.

Sometimes, she’ll randomly blurt out the name of a brand of laundry soap. Roman suspects this is Remus’ doing, but he’s not 100% sure.

Deceit will take turns reciting with her the entirety of the song “All Star” by Smash Mouth line-by-line. Nobody knows when this started or why it has happened enough to routinely occur, but it’s still extremely entertaining, especially because of the monotony it’s done in. (”They don’t even sing, Logan, what’s the point?!”)

At midnight one night, Mal flew out of Roman’s room and down to the kitchen, where Patton was having a midnight snack. He didn’t notice her, at least until the words “Your elbows are my legal property,” came from behind him, and he has never screamed so loudly in his life.

“I’m going to live in a cave and you can’t stop me!”

Virgil - This comes as a surprise to exactly No One, but I do love the idea of Virgil having a few pet tarantulas to just chill with him when he’s doing mundane things. He really loves seeing all of the different types, temperaments, and species, and can name all of them very easily. He definitely prefers ones that are really calm, but he does have a few Old World tarantulas that he does not let out of their enclosures Ever because those bitches are cool, but mean. He also has a sleek black cat (for the Aesthetic) that will lounge on his bed and take his spot any time he gets up. He loves her, but he also kinda hates her, because she’s an asshole, so.

Remus - I Wasn’t Joking About The Locusts. (He also has a pet rat named Dorothy, who is actually really sweet and docile, which is an odd juxtaposition to her owner. Isn’t behaviour learned?)

Patton - Yes, he loves cats, but he can’t really be around them without needing an Epi-Pen. After many incidents involving a severe allergic reaction, Logan forbade Patton from being near them, so Patton settled for dogs instead. He still loves them just as much, though! He has a cute little Pomeranian that will happily bother whoever’s closest to give him attention, and Patton also has the sweetest blue heeler that is very friendly and well-trained, but he also has some more unconventional animals, too. He has three guinea pigs, a sugar glider, a beautiful Betta fish, a horse that stays in the Imagination, and oddly enough, a chicken, who sleeps in his bed with him every single night without fail. It’s a miracle Patton even remembers to feed all of them, but he adores every single one of his friends, so the others figure it’ll be fine for now.

[zel-zo]

Heeey-o, ever though about some kots and darkiplier fusion? - a cookie anon

“Prince Tenebris Scelerisque”

Fusion: KOTS (king of the Squirrels) + DarkiplierAsked by: Cookie Annon (Witch i’m glad to see around!)

Character: Prince Tenebris Scelerisque (who usually goes simply by “Prince Tenebris”) is the fairest lad in the land. This Prince charming comes with all of the classic disney abilities: Can talk to animals, has many forest friends (though, most of them are squirrels), can sing like no other, and is generous and benevolent to his people. Prince Tenebris is infact “King Tenebris”, after he was left the throne, but chooses the title of prince since it is far less intimidating. He has a calm, joking, almost lazy air about him. It would seem as though he where simply a carefree arrogant noble with no real reason for having the throne… however these people couldn’t be more wrong. When given the opportunity, Tenebris is a fierce strategist, and an extremely intelligent leader. Any countries who have anything to gain from entering a war with him and his kingdom have already chosen to forfeit the idea out of fear of the legends of this monarch warlord. Despite his infamy in the world of nobles, Prince Tenebris is actually a bit of a play boy~ With a wink, a touch, or whispered word of affection, no creature can resist falling for him. Even if romantic love or any other form of love isn’t something you desire, you’ll find yourself inexplicably drawn to his charming personality. Every maiden, man, or micilanouse subject in the land wishes to be his fiance’ one day, and Prince Tenebris’s habit for flirting with anything and anyone only encourages the idea that any commoner could be it. However, perhaps having every single eligible person in his kingdom in the palm of his hand, willing to do whatever he says to win his heart, is a little more intentional than he would like you to think~

Author’s notes:  10 points to Hufflepuff if you can figure out what his name translates too! @seyton-n-brimstone actually helped me come up with his name, and let me bounce a bunch of ideas off of them, so i wanna give them a big thanks for helping me with all of these fusions! I really appreciate you bro!   Anyways, If you guys like this fusion, be sure to check out the other’s I’ve already done! More are on the way! If you like mr.heartbreaker Prince TM, Feel free to request stuff for him too (I love drawing all of my new fusion babys)!

[peepingtoad]

Anonymous Fanmail // always accepting

Good evening (or day) to you anon! Let me say first off how touching it was to see this message pop up earlier on! I know my activity has been spotty as hell lately, with inspiration being flaky and my attention span even more so--so it really is encouraging to hear that the little I've managed to do in the past couple of months is still well received.

From reading your message it seems like you have a great handle on writing and vocabulary, but I also know that English really can be a bastard of a language whenever it deviates from the standard. So I can only commend your commitment to gaining even more understanding.

So to answer your question, under the cut are some of the authors/works that have influenced me most. I’ve not really had a chance to make my way through my huge reading list, or read much for a couple years now, so I’ll just mention some of the ones that really stuck in my mind:

Darren Shan 

I really must start with Darren Shan, because for a teen author his descriptions of monsters and violence still are some of the most viscerally gross and visual I've ever read. So you can imagine what it was like reading him as a 9/10 year old! I don't get to show it very often on Jiraiya, but I really do love to write a bit of nasty gore where I can. This probably shows more when I'm writing certain toad stomach themed jutsu scenes... but yeah. This author really inspired me as a kid, and fantasy-horror for young adults is still a genre I'd love to write one day (if I ever come up with a solid original idea, that is)! Which leads me on to--

Stephen King

Who, honestly, I haven't really kept up to date with. The novels I read by him were his classics: Carrie, Misery, Pet Sematary... which I think were all written before I was born, now that I think about it. I know he can be a little long-winded for some, but I really appreciate how he builds up tension and works with multiple threads at a time. His are some of the few books that actually made me scared in my teens, his psychological horror is great, and he doesn’t shy away from a sex scene, even if they’re usually horrible. I always love an author who goes into nitty-gritty, not necessarily pleasant detail.

J.R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R. Tolkien

A predictable one, I'm sure! But I've definitely drawn influence from the sheer world-building of Middle Earth, which has inspired worlds for my own OCs, but in regards to fandom has made me want to delve a little deeper into areas the canon leaves unexplained (it really is my goal to one day fill in all the blanks in Jiraiya's life, working with what little we were given and the messy timeline). And while Tolkien's characters can be a little wooden and overly functional at times, the true joy I find in his works is the sprawling descriptions of nature and the world, and how well-linked all of the characters/figures of the past are to each other. Also I feel it's an unpopular opinion, but I absolutely adore the songs/poems. Every one of them. Especially 'The Ent and the Entwife'.

Richard Adams

Most known for Watership Down, and his style again contains lots of beautiful nature imagery (with a very strong environmentalist lean). It's a pretty traumatic story, as anyone who has seen the animated film from the late 70's will recall, but what the book offers on top of that is a whole mythology that the animals believe in, world-building, animal characters that are both intelligent and believably still animals, gorgeous descriptions of the English countryside... yeah. It's one of my all time favourites! I’ve yet to bring myself to read The Plague Dogs, however, because I know it will upset me a whole lot.

Whoever the hell wrote 'The Soddit' and 'Bored of the Rings'

Yes, seriously. I'm a sucker for a good spoof, and these made me laugh out loud. I recall many terrible euphemisms. Not to be read with a critical mind whatsoever :’) they are kinda trash, but I really enjoy content that doesn’t take itself very seriously.

Terry Pratchett

Count this as a relatively new inspiration--I'm an absolute newbie when it comes to Pratchett, if I'm honest, which is ridiculous because it’s right up my alley. I’ve only fully read Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman), read halfway through a few of the standalone Discworlds, and watched several of the animated and BBC series adaptations, but I’m definitely inspired. It's just really daunting to know where to start with the main body of Discworld in particular. But I think after spending my childhood enjoying comedic fantasy in general (I also thank the Fable trilogy of games for that), it was only natural that I found his tongue-in-cheek, conversational to the point of being mundane, playing with tropes style a perfect fit for me. All of that, with some pretty immense world-building in too! It’s great to see such a loved world that is written in such a light, funny way (from what I’ve read), especially since I do my best to let humour inject itself into my writing wherever possible.

Oscar Wilde

And more specifically, The Picture of Dorian Gray. This is just peak gothic sexy decadence, I assure you. And it's one of my all time favourites... again, for gorgeous descriptions, but it's more sensory than physical. And of course, high-key gay subtext. And did I mention it's sexy? Not in the obvious way, just in a 'this level of indulgent description of luxuries and hedonism is downright slutty' kind of way. If you want obvious sexy though, definitely check out the film starring Ben Barnes too!

Anaïs Nin

Ok look, so in answer to one of your other questions, I do indeed read fanfic. Not as much now as I used to or would like to, but I certainly do. And Anaïs Nin is one of the few well known erotic writers I’ve read that I think is better than the best fanfiction stuff I’ve read. Because honestly, lots of them are dudes (sorry Jiraiya) and it’s just... nah. I’ve always thought that the erotic writing in decent fanfic tended to be high tier for somebody not paid to do it. Anyway, when it comes to Nin the writing is beautifully sensual, but I’ll warn you for questionable content at times--and I mean triggering content. I think that a lot of her erotic short stories were commissioned by others, so I don’t judge her, but there is also a lot of symbolism within the taboo so... that’s my warning about that.

John Keats

Time for a poet, and one of my favourites is this guy. Pretty much covering the Romantic/Gothic cusp, all the poems I remember reading by him were long, indulgent, sensual and low-key filthy. I can’t really say much other than read Keats! ‘Isabella, or the Pot of Basil’ is a favourite!

Seamus Heaney

My favourites are ‘Death Of a Naturalist’ and ‘Blackberry-Picking’. Get that gross, kinda visceral nature imagery. Nice.

Wilfred Owen

Mostly studied him in college, which I enjoyed a lot, but I ended up revisiting his war poetry when I started writing Jiraiya. Something about the way he questions patriotism and feels for the ‘enemy’ related a lot to him for me, and the poems themselves are so tragic they really spark up your empathy.

... As for songwriters? Hmm. Lyrically, I always enjoy pretty gloomy stuff. Nick Cave, The Cure, Placebo, Depeche Mode. A lot of it very spooky and sad-romantic. I definitely have a type :’) a definite favourite is also Björk, both for her surreal lyrics, and the crazy stuff she can do with her voice also helps!

I’m honestly struggling to think of more off the top of my head, because I know I have read and enjoyed more books/poetry than this. Sadly I’ve been too preoccupied with other things to branch out into more world literature, but it’s something I want to make an effort to do--especially Chinese and Japanese literature, some of which are on my current book pile. But these are some of the few that came straight to mind for me, and are probably my biggest influences. Hope you enjoyed my lengthy rambling nonetheless. And again, thank you so much for your kind message! It really lifted my spirits <3

[the-demi-jedi]

11/11/11 Tag Game

Tagged by @tjswritingstuff

1.      Who encourages you to write? Who is your support team?

My friends. Some of my high school professors were also very supportive.

2.      If you could go on a writing retreat anywhere in the world where you would you like to go?

I know I’m supposed to reply something like “cabin in the woods” or “a deserted island”, but when I think about it, it would be some supermodern, futuristic place like Singapore, Taiwan, Toronto or something like that. I like writing futuristic/sci-fi stuff, but I’m a guy from a small town, so it would be an immense amount of inspiration.

3.      What part of writing appeals to you the most?

Creating your own worlds and people and being able to do anything you want with them. The creative process. The constant daydreaming.

4.      When did you get your last big idea?

I don’t know if I can say I’ve ever had a “big idea” since all of them seem kind of mediocre to me. However, I remember where I got an idea for a project I’m yet to write. It was during a PE class in high school. The guys started to play soccer, and because I suck at it (and any sport by the matter), I retreated into a gym. A friend went there with me. We ended up slacking off the whole lesson and talking about stuff like different realities, girls or the multiverse theory. And there we stumbled upon an idea that our current life is a Matrix-ish simulation which determines your position and place in the REAL world based on your deeds and behavior in the simulation.

5.      Why do you think you were drawn to writing over other hobbies?

I’ve loved books since I was little and it developed into a sort-of talent for creative writing (all my language teachers were always eager to read my works and I also went to a lot of competitions). It was only a matter of time before I started creating something on my own. Writing is also inexpensive and not physically demanding.

6.      How do you prefer to work? What’s your writing routine like?

I write when my fam is at work and I have some time for myself. That means I write about 20 days a month with an average of 2000-2500 words per day. On my best day ever, I wrote close to 6000.

7.      If your pet/ any animal was a human character how would you describe them?

I hate how ravens are described as something goth, edgy, bad omen, connected with death. It’s not like that. If a raven was a person, it would be that one smart kid nobody really understands, with unrelenting curiosity and eagerness to learn new things. They would also be extremely loyal if they manage to find friends and they would seek love for the whole life. Also they’d be kind of touch-starved and always eating junk.

8.      Where do you like to write?

My choices are limited, so currently it’s our kitchen which is usually unoccupied and there is food.

9.      Do you collect notebooks? If so, what kind do you like?

I use technology to write or manage ideas, but I do have a few cool notebooks (although empty). A nice example is a notebook with Stormtrooper my friend gave me for Christmas.

10.  Who is your ideal reader?

A reader who’s not hesitant to go CRAZY with comments, questions, theories, constructive criticism and/or praise. It makes me unbelievably happy to see someone actually got INTO it and isn’t like “okay, I’ve finished it, it was cool”. Also I appreciate readers who aren’t there only for the “ships”.

11.  What is your dream for your writing?

I wish it was published (first here, where I live, then maybe abroad) and gained some audience - I don’t really want to be crazy famous like Joanne Rowling or Stephen King, I’d happily settle with a smaller bunch of faithful fans like Neal Shusterman or Brandon Sanderson. Also I would heavily troll my readers on social networks (and I’d also know my book is doing good if the alt-right garbages complained about “SJW propaganda” in them).

My questions:

1. What are some things that make you love a book?

2. What are some things you hate in a book?

3. Would you rather live in a fictional world, or bring one fictional character to the real world?

4. Have you ever struggled with “naysayers” who tried to discourage you from writing?

5. Do you remember anything anyone said about your work which made you extremely happy?

6. Does criticism (even constructive criticism) discourage you? Are you sensitive to criticism?

7. Are you trying to be original at all cost, or do you accommodate, even partially, to the current trends in your genre?

8. In your opinion, does a book have to deliver a powerful message and/or shock the reader in order to be considered truly good?

9. How would you react if you stumbled upon a fanfiction based on your work and characters which contains toxic/disturbing themes such as involuntary sexual acts, incest, abusive relationship etc.?

10. Would you say yes to a movie adaptation of your book?

11. What would you choose? a) your book is famous, loved and admired, seen as one of the key works of the generation, but it has also a big, loud base of people who hate it to death, OR b) your book meets some success, has some fanbase, but doesn’t invoke any big emotions?

Tagging:

@gravicroyvi1089 @focusdumbass @nevertoofartowalk @a-tiny-daydreamer @arrowdeirdre and anyone else who reads this and writes stuff. Yeah, I’m looking at you. Don’t chicken out, loser.

[awhitehead17]

Hello! ♥ The other night I saw the movie Ladyhawke, and it occurred to me to ask you this prompt! AU medieval fantasy, no capes: Tim is a nobleman, Conner one of his bodyguards, they fall in love secretly. But bishop Ra's wishes Tim, when he is refused, he casts a curse on the two. At night, Conner turns into a wolf, by day, Tim becomes a hawk (or a sweet robin ♥). Always together, but eternally divided. Will they manage to break the curse? Maybe with the help of the thief Bart?

Hey, sorry this has taken me so long to answer but I’ve finally be able to complete a story for you. The prompt was certainly interesting, I’ve done what I can to incorporate the film’s plot into it as well as giving it my own twist. I hope you enjoy what I’ve come up with :D 

“Well at least we found him.”

Conner looks over to the other side of the room whereBartholomew Allen was stood on a table and energetically re-telling the storyof how he escaped the dungeons of Drake Castle.

Conner snorts before taking a sip of his drink, “You’d thinkthat he’d lay low and hide instead of going around bragging about escaping. Itwon’t be long before he’s captured again.”

He places his drink down on the wooden table as a smallchirp comes from next to him. Conner looks down at his small companion who’sperched on the edge of the table. A small red robin looks up at his with blackbeady eyes, he chirps again in an almost aggressive manner which causes Connerto roll his eyes.

“I know that we need him. I’m just saying that the more hegoes around bragging about it the quicker he’s going to get found.”

The name Bartholomew Allen was quickly spreading around theland, the story on how he escaped Drake Castle and essentially escaped anexecution. Bartholomew was a thief and had been caught by the Royal Bishopguard’s, he was sent to be killed but managed to stop that by breaking free. Connerneeds his help, he needs to know how Bartholomew broke free from Drake Castlebecause he needs to break in. 

Finishing up his drink he stands up from the table and startswalking over to where the thief was. The red robin instantly follows him andsettles on his shoulder. Conner walks over and stands just to the side of thecrowd that’s formed around Bartholomew and waits. Once it seems like he wasdone with his story telling Conner grabs his attention.

“Bartholomew, can I have word?”

The thief pauses and looks him over, after a long momenthe’s nodding and shrugging his shoulders. “Sure.” He jumps down from the tableand walks over next to Conner and Conner simply leads them away from anyoneelse who may listen in.

“You broke out of Drake Castle, correct?”

The thief grins cockily at him, “I certainly did. Do youwant an autograph? For me to tell you how I did it, how I fooled them all andescaped to my freedom?”

Conner looks at him with a blank look, unimpressed with hisattitude. “I need your help. I need to break into Drake Castle. I figured you’d be the best person to help me.”

There’s a long silent pause between them as Bartholomew digestsConner’s words. The thief’s eyes go wide as his jaw drop opens in shock, “Whywould you want to do that?” He asks in whispered shock.

“It doesn’t matter why. I need to get in the castle, the wayyou came out will be my way in.” Conner’s not willing to offer the reasonbehind his desired actions, it’s none of his business.

The thief’s expressions hardens to where he’s now glaring atConner, “Absolutely not. I will not help you get into that monstrous place. Iescaped there for a reason and I will not ever go back.”

Conner opens his mouth to try and persuade him to help but asudden shout of panic interrupts him.

“It’s the Bishop’s guards!”

Conner looks sharply at Bartholomew to see that the thiefwas now wearing a look of horror.

“Look, I can get you out of here, if you agree to help me.”Conner tells him, trying some form of compromise.

Bartholomew looks at him wide eyes before they narrow onceagain, “No. I’d rather take my chances.”

Conner snarls at him, feeling annoyed and angered, “Fine, yourhead be it.”

He leaves him then, walking away from the thief to the backdoor of the bar. The guards would be coming in through the front rather theback so Conner makes his escape that way. He could have easily just stayed thereand watch how everything plays out but he’d rather not.

He goes around the building to where he left his horse andstarts to untie the rope that stopped her from getting away. From inside the buildingsudden uproar happens and Conner rolls his eyes. He did say it wouldn’t be longuntil he was caught again.

Straddling his horse he starts to leave. He gets around tothe front and stops at the sight of the guards stood there waiting, some whereon their horses while the others have gone inside. Moments later the building’sdoor was slamming open and the missing guards start to wonder out, one of whichwas carrying the struggling body of Bartholomew.  

Conner watches from the side as the guards saddle up and asthey restrain the thief to the back of a horse, once ready they start walkingaway and Bartholomew’s body drags painfully along the dirt as they go.

The red robin that was still perched on his shoulder beginsto rapidly chirp at Conner. Conner glances down at him before shaking his head,“No. He made his choice. It was clear, this is what he deserves.” The birdchirps again and even delivers a painful peck against his neck. “Ow! Alright!I’ll go get him.”

The bird whistles happily and flies off his shoulder over toa nearby tree. Conner rolls his eyes, sometimes he really hates him.

They ride for a good couple of hours before finally findingsomewhere where they can take refuge for the night. It appears to be an abandonedfarm, the land surrounding a small house was dried up, the grass was overgrownand full of weeds and there was surprisingly no animals around.

Conner brings up his horse to the front of the house andties her down so she couldn’t go anywhere. He then turns to his passenger, “Canyou go see if there’s a well behind the back somewhere or some form of watersource?”

Bartholomew surprisingly doesn’t say anything to him, hesimply slides off the horse and disappears around the back of the house. Connerwatches him go. Freeing him from the guards clutches had been surprisingly easyand that makes Conner wonder on what kind of people the royal bishop was hiringnowadays. All Conner had done was come up behind them, sliced the rope that wastying Bartholomew to the horse and get the thief up onto his horse and getaway. Okay maybe not that easy, there was some blood drawn but not from him. Ithelped that the thief was quick on his feet and understood what Conner wasdoing, it helped him get away from the guards quickly before he too was caught.

His little companion suddenly chirps from his shoulder andgains his attention, Conner glances down to find the bird looking up at thesky. Conner follows his gaze and finds exactly what he was looking at. The skywas beginning to merge into a red and orange colour hue indicating the end ofthe day. Conner smiles sadly but knowingly at the bird, he gently pets his headwith his finger.

“I know, another day over of us being together but apart.”He says quietly.

That’s when the thief comes around a corner carrying abucket full of water. He smiles at Conner and walks over to his horse andplaces it where she has easy access to it. She immediately goes to it andstarts drinking up the liquid.

“So there’s a full well in the back garden, works perfectlyfine too surprisingly. I’ve done your horse a bucket and found some cups that Icould fill up for us both.”

Conner smiles appreciating the thought, the thief may becocky and big headed but at least he can think on his feet. “Thank you.” Hesays sincerely. He goes to his horse and detaches a couple of bags which wasstrapped to her and starts to walk towards the house, “Let’s go inside, I canmake a little bit of dinner for us, hope you’re not too picky.”

Following behind him, Bartholomew grins, “I eat just aboutanything.”

Tim lets out a groan as he fully stretches out his limbs. Nomatter how many times he has to go through the transformation, it’ll always be anexperience which is discomforting. Going from a small robin to a fully grownhuman just wasn’t fun.

Once he feels stretched he gets up onto his feet and takes amoment to get used to his human body once again. Once settled he walks over towhere a brown bag is and opens it up to find his clothes folded neatly in it.In his head he thanks Conner, loving how thoughtful the other man was.

He slips on the clothes and makes his way through the housethey’ve taken refuge in. It’s not very big, it has one main room which servesas the main living area, there’s one bedroom to the left of it and another onethe opposite side to the right and what resembles a toilet room with even alarge wooden tub inside of it. At least whoever had lived here was wealthy.

A glance in the opposite room of the one Tim just came outof he finds the thief. He was curled up on his side on a mattress made fromstraw covered in rich red fabric and had an empty bowl next to his side. He wassound asleep and unaware of Tim’s presence.

Tim allows him to sleep, he simply walks into the roomcollects the bowl from the floor and exists. He places the empty bowl on thetable that was in the living area before wondering back to the room heoriginally was in.

It was as he was sitting down on his own straw mattress thathe sees a bowl next to the bed, this one was full and was even slightly steaming.Tim frowns before picking it up, he feels it’s warmth and then realises thatConner must have made it and placed it next to him before he transformed. Tim’sheart swells once again at how thoughtful he could be. It wasn’t a lot in thebowl, simply water with a mixture of herbs that they carry around with them,some vegetables that Conner collected earlier that day and even some lumps ofmeat. It wasn’t a lot but at least it was something. Tim eats it despite it nottasting brilliant, Conner had gone through the effort of making him it so theleast he can do is eat it.

Once he was done he places the bowl on the floor and sitsback on the mattress. Moments later a large black wolf was stalking into hisroom. Tim startles for a moment, he hadn’t even realised that the beast was inthe house, before letting himself relax at the familiar sight of the one heloved.

The wolf trots over to him, Tim instantly reaches out tostroke the animal’s head. The wolf leans into his touch before leaning forwardto lick his face. Tim frowns but lets out a soft laugh as the wolf starts toexcitedly climb on him while he licks his face.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough Conner, that’s enough.” He getsout and finally manages to get the wolf off him. The wolf settles down on thefloor next to the mattress and whines at him as Tim wipes his face. Tim rollshis eyes and once again strokes the top of his head in a lovingly way.

The wolf lies down and places his head in Tim’s lap andlooks up at him with wide eyes. Tim pouts as the animal lets out another lowwhine, “I know Conner, I know. I miss you too.”

Tim lies back on the mattress, he doesn’t move as the wolfgets up and climbs onto the mattress with him and as he settles down next toTim. Tim puts one arm around the beast and snuggles as much as can into thefur. This is the closet they can ever get to cuddling. When Tim’s in his robinform, he’s too small to do anything of the sort so they have to wait untilnight when Conner is a wolf to do this.

They lie like that for a long time and Tim just ramblesabout anything that’s floating around in his head. He knows that he won’t getan answer back but at least he knows that the man - currently wolf – islistening to him. Eventually though he starts to slip off into sleep as the nightwears on, the sad thing about it is that when knows when he wakes up he’ll beback in that tiny body of a bird and Conner once again will be human. It’s aruthless cycle which just isn’t fair.

As expected Tim wakes up in his robin form, next to him wasConner, sprawled out in his human form. Tim misses the times where he couldtouch the man with his own hands, to feel his bare skin with his own.

Next to him Conner woke up and sat up. He glances down towhere Tim was and sadly smiles at him, the man reaches out and pets the top ofhis head with a gentle finger, in response Tim gives him a little chirp inacknowledgement.

Their peace was interrupted when Bartholomew shows up in thedoor way of the bedroom, “So what’s the plan for today if you have one? Are wegoing – Oh hey, the little guy stuck around?”

Without invitation the thief wonders into the room andcrouches next to the mattress, he reaches out and pets Tim on the head, unlikeConner’s his administrations were rough and sort of painful. Tim allowed itthough, there wasn’t a lot he could do to actually avoid the thief. He wantedto stay close to Conner so flying away was not an option.

“Yeah, he’s my companion, so be gentle with him.” Connersays standing up. The man puts on his clothes for the day and packs away theones Tim was wearing during the night.

As he does that the thief stands up and watches him, “Ah sothe little robin is your pet then?”

“He’s not a pet!” Conner snaps at him.

Bartholomew reels back, surprised at the sudden anger, heputs his hands up in a placating gesture, “Okay, sorry.”

Conner pinches the bridge of his nose, “I apologise, Ididn’t mean to snap. But no, the red robin isn’t my pet, he’s my companion andis very important to me okay.”

The thief only nods and wonders out of the room. As Connergoes to follow Tim flies up and lands on the man’s shoulder and perches there,Conner sends him a smile as he settles down.

The day went slowly as they potted around the house,Bartholomew seemed reluctant to leave Conner’s side and Conner was simplytaking his time to try and come up with a plan to break into Drake Castleundetected.

The most interesting part of the day was when it was nearingthe evening. The peaceful silence the farm house’s occupants had fallen into wasabruptly broken when Conner’s horse lets out a loud neigh in the way that meansit’s scared.

Reacting to his horses distress, Conner rushes outside tosee what was wrong. Bartholomew follows behind him and Tim flies after them.Once outside they could see why Conner’s horse was distressed, surrounding thefarm house was a handful of guards who were all armed with weapons.

Tim immediately recognises the armoury they wear and theweapons they were holding. They’re the exact same guards they had to deal withthe day before, guards that belong to the Royal Bishop of Drake Castle.  

Tim watches from the sky as the guards surge forward andattack Conner and Bartholomew. Conner instantly uses his size, strength andfighting skills against his opponents and knocks them down, Bart on the otherhand uses quick agility to dodge and avoid the guards coming his way.

From the sky Tim feels useless, there’s nothing he can do inthis tiny form of a red robin. He needs to help but how? He suddenly gets anidea, he may not be able to physically attack them but at least he can try todisarm them from their weapons.

Tim dives down and approaches the nearest guard, he fliesover to their hand and violently pecks at it, mostly aiming for in betweentheir fingers. After a few pecks they let go of the sword and it falls to thefloor with a clatter. Tim immediately flies over to another one and does thesame. He’s able to do this to three guards but unfortunately the forth onewasn’t that easy. As Tim attempts to peck at his hand the guard starts tryingto swat him away, it causes Tim to fly around so he can avoid getting hit.

One lucky sweep of the hand manages to catch Tim in the wingand sends him spiralling to the floor. Pain erupts from his side and his wingas he crashes to the floor, he comes to a stop but finds he cannot move at all.Pain is radiating from his whole body as he lies on the ground practicallystunned from what’s just happened.

“Tim!”

There’s a shout near him and then suddenly he’s being pickedup and cradled in warm, gentle hands.

“Tim?”

Through the pain Tim recognises that it’s Conner whom isspeaking to him and even is holding him but Tim couldn’t do anything toacknowledge him. He couldn’t make himself to make a sound and he certainlycould force himself to move.

Within Conner’s hands he gets jolted around as Connercontinues to fight the Bishop’s guards who were still attacking them. When itall calms down Conner is shouting again, “Bartholomew!”

Moments later the thief appears at Conner’s side and Timfeels himself being transferred into another pair of hands. These hands were alot more fragile than Conner’s, less warm and a lot less gentle. He getscradled in the thief arms as Conner speaks to him, “Get him out of here! Findsomewhere safe and I’ll catch up. Take my horse and go!”

The thief hesitates, “What about you?”

“I’ll be fine now go.”

There’s more jolting as Bartholomew runs over to Conner’shorse, he has to dodge and fight some of the guards along the way as they werestill attacking them. Once they’re dealt with, the thief finally gets to thehorse and saddles up. There’s a moment of hesitation where he doesn’t seem toknow what to do with Tim, after a while he grabs a brown bag hanging from the horseand gently eases Tim inside, “Sorry little guy, but I think this is the safest foryou right now.”

Thankfully it was the bag where Conner stores their clothes,so at least Tim had something soft to try and nest in. It wasn’t at allcomfortable. Everything inside of him hurt and riding on a horse in a bag whichis flying about as the animal runs does not help.

Tim loses track of time while he’s in the bag. There’sreally nothing else on his mind other than the pain he was feeling buteventually they come to a stop and Tim feels the bag being moved whichdislodges him and sends shooting pains through his body.

The next thing that is happening is that there are wordsbeing spoken by two different voices. Tim tries to make out what’s being saidbut his mind is in a haze after everything that’s happened in the last coupleof hours. The bag is then being moved once again and placed onto a hardsurface, it gets opened up and a hand comes in to scoop Tim out of the clothes.

Tim gets placed on the hard surface next to the bag. Nowthat he’s able to see what’s around him he finds that two people are lookingdown at him, one of which is Bartholomew and the other is a blonde hair ladywhom Tim didn’t recognise.

As more words were shared between Bartholomew and the womanTim could feel his body tightening. His joints and bones start moving insidehis body as he begins to grow in size. Tim lets out a pained sound as his wingis jerked around with the transformation from a red robin to a human.

In what seems like forever Tim eventually finds himself backin his human form. While it felt good to be out of the robin body, it washowever extremely painful. Most of the pain he was feeling was coming from hisarm, once glance at it tells him why. It’s broken. The broken wing he had whilein the robin form had transferred over to his human so he now has a broken arm.

Someone touching his shoulder gets his attention. He jerksin surprised and lets out a moan as he looks at who touched him. It was the blondelady, she was frowning at him in an almost concerned way. Just behind her Timcould see Bartholomew staring at him wide eyed.

“Wait, you’re the bird? You just changed from a bird to ahuman? How? How did you do that?” The thief asks in complete shock.

Tim grunts as the woman gently takes hold of his arm andexamines it. He looks over at the thief, “It’s a long story.”

The woman pulls away from him and walks away, Tim followsher with his eyes and it’s just then that he realises that they’re in a house,a dining room by the looks of it. He watches as the woman begins to collect avariety of jars and as she starts to do something with them.

From where her back was turned to Tim, the lady speaks,“You’re cursed aren’t you?”

Tim frowns at her. How did she know? Who even was she?

“How did you know?” Tim voices.

She doesn’t immediately answer, Tim watches as she mixesingredients in a bowl before transferring it into a cup. Once done she walksback over to Tim and forces the cup into his uninjured arm’s hand.

“Drink this it’ll help you with the pain.”

“What is it?” Tim asks cautiously.

She gives him a bland look, “It’s a special concoction,it’ll speed up your healing process of your arm once I’ve set it. I promise Imean you no harm. As for who I am, my name is Cassandra Sandsmark.”

She once again grabs his arm and before Tim could protestshe jerks it to the side. Tim screams in pain as his arm moves. Even afterCassandra had moved away Tim couldn’t get past the pain his arm was radiating.

“Drink it.” Came a demand from his right.

Tim shakes his head, unable to do anything else except focuson his arm and how it was throbbing and stinging. The next thing he knows ishis head is being forced backwards and the cup is being lifted to his lips,having no other choice Tim swallows down the liquid as it enters his mouth. Hishead falls forward when it’s let go and he’s left breathing heavily.

A long moment passes by but soon enough Tim could start tofeel the pain easing down from his arm, it makes the limb feel numb and thepain becomes almost absent. He looks to the woman, “Thank you, I guess.”

She smiles at him, “No problem. Now, I have to know, whocursed you?”

Tim sighs and looks away from her to Bartholomew, he looksparticularly interested in finding out the answer. Tim doesn’t blame him, hesort of has a right to know. “My name is Timothy Drake and yes, I am the princeof Drake Castle. What had happened was the Royal Bishop had confessed his lovefor me and I had refused him as I don’t feel the same way. My heart belongs toanother soul, you already know him, and that’s Conner Kent. Conner was one ofmy body guards and we ended up falling in love, when the Bishop found this outhe was enraged and casted a curse upon us. At night Conner transforms into awolf and by day I transform into a red robin. We are always together buteternally divided, we can’t see one another in our human forms.

We ran away from the castle because of this curse. My familywould outcast me if they found out and Conner wasn’t in much condition tocontinue being a guard. We ran away together in hopes of working out how tobreak this curse and Conner’s come up with a plan to simply kill the Bishop inrevenge. We need your help, Bartholomew, in getting back into Drake Castle sohe can achieve this.”

It was silent for a long time after Tim had finishedexplaining his situation. Cassandra looked thoughtful and the thief lookedpuzzled.  

Eventually the lady breaks the silent with a small smile, “Wellthat explains some things but for now you need to rest and when you wake up yourarm will be back to normal. You can sleep on my bed for tonight.”

Tim doesn’t argue as she shows him where he’ll be sleeping. He’squick on settle on the bed where sleep immediately over takes him.

As he walks up to the house Conner couldn’t help but feelweary. Like the farm they had taken refuge in, this house is out of the way andburied within the woods. The only reason Conner had found it was because hefollowed Tim’s and Bartholomew’s scents, and they lead him here. After he’dgotten away from the Bishop’s guards Conner had transformed into the wolf, takingthe advantage of the beast’s capabilities Conner had followed their scents andby the time he reached the house he had transformed back into a human.

He gets to the door and knocks on it, moment later a ladywith blonde hair was opening up. She looks at him and raises an eyebrow, “Conner,I’m assuming?” She asks.

Conner frowns, “How did you-”

“Timothy has told me everything, he and Bartholomew are waitingfor you.”

Conner shuts his mouth from where it had opened in shock andwalks into the house. The lady closes the door behind him. Conner goes throughthe house and finds Bartholomew sat on the floor with a robin perched on hisknee. They look up as he enters and the bird immediately flies up over to himand perches on his shoulder. Conner smiles and gently pets his head.

“All better I see.” He says, noticing how the bird was nolonger in pain.

The thief stands up and walk over to him, “Yeah, Cassandra madehim drink a potion and set his arm back, he woke up completely healed likenothing ever happened.”

Conner finds the lady standing beside them, lookingthoughtfully at the bird. “Thank you.” He says meaningfully.

She smiles back, “It was no problem.”

“Conner,” he turns to the sound of his name and looks atBartholomew, “I’ve changed my mind. I’ll help you get into Drake Castle” Conneropens his mouth to question why but he gets beaten to it, “The reason being isbecause it’s not fair on what’s happened to you both. Tim told us about it lastnight, I don’t think it’s right so I’ll help you get into the Castle then youkill the bastard that’s done this to you.”

Conner glances down at the Robin on his shoulder beforelooking at the thief, his change of heart was welcoming, “Thank youBartholomew, it means a lot.”

He grins in response, “No problem and call me Bart, everyoneelse does.”

“Also, relating to your situation, I was looking into lastnight and there may be a way to break the curse.”

That certainly gets Conner’s attention, he snaps his head tothe side and stares at the lady, “What? Is there? How?”

She looks unimpressed with the questions being fired at herbut thankfully she answers anyway, “From what I can gather, this curse of yourscan be broken if you were both to face the bishop in the flesh on a day withouta night and a night without the day.”

Conner blinks at her trying to comprehend what she justsaid. “I’m sorry, what? That makes no sense.”

She puts her hands up in a placating gesture, “I do not fullyunderstand myself, this is just what I’ve come across.”

“Well it’s stupid and doesn’t make sense.” Conner statesbluntly. Any optimism he was briefly feeling has now completely evaporated, heturns to Bart, “We need to get a plan together so we can enter the Castlewithout being noticed, then I can work out a way in which I’ll confront theBishop.”

Bart shrugs, “Sounds good to me, it won’t be though, youprepared for that?”

Conner grins, “More than you’ll ever know.”

Several days later, Conner finds himself following behind Bartas they make their way through the sewers of Castle Drake. Apparently this wasthe way Bart got out so this is the way they get in. Trying to ignore the vilesmell, they navigate their way through until they come across an opening. Slippingthrough it they emerge within the depths of Drake Castle.

Once they’ve found a quiet place to hide Conner turns to Bart,“Right I want you two to stay here and out of sight. This could easily go wrongand I don’t want you guys getting hurt or found if it does.”

“You sound like you’re saying goodbye.” Bart pouts at him.

Conner doesn’t say anything as he picks up the red robin offhis shoulder and carefully places him on Bart’s shoulder. He gently pats it onthe head with his finger, “It could very well be a goodbye, I wish it wasn’tbut I don’t know how’ll it will all play out. If I know you two are safe then Idon’t have to worry. Thank you for everything Bart.”

Conner steps away from him and leaves before the thief couldsay anything.

Now being an old body guard to the prince really does haveit advantages. Conner easily works his way through the familiar grounds. Heknows where all the best hiding places are so the guards patrolling within theCastle wouldn’t find him, he knows the most popular routes of patrol and caneasily work out his own route to follow so he doesn’t bump into any guards ashe goes.

Eventually he gets to where the quarters are located of thoseassociated with the royal family. The royal family had rooms at the very top ofthe castle, their associates had room a couple levels underneath them. Shiftingthrough his memories, Conner works out which room belongs to the Bishop.Pausing outside of the door, Conner unsheathes his sword before storming intothe room.

Thankfully the very man he was after was there. He was kneltdown by an alter with his hands clasped together, his lips forming words which Connerassumed was a prayer. Conner stands in the middle of the room with his swordheld up in a defensive position, he startled a bit when the Bishop suddenlyspeaks out to him.

“I was wondering when I’d get a visit from you. I thought itwould have been sooner than this.”

“You are going to pay for what you have done, Ra’s.” Conner growlsat the man as he stands up.

“Is that so?” the Bishop asks raising an eyebrow at Conner.

Conner glares and raises his sword higher. He watches as theBishop picks up his own sword and as he steadies himself to fight, once readythe two of them lunge towards one another, swords clashing as they meet. Connersteps back and swipes his sword, the man easily dodges and strikes back withhis own thrust. It becomes a dance, one of which grows tiring very quickly. Conneris surprised to find that the Bishop was skilled in handling a sword, his frailand skinny body would suggest otherwise.

Conner messes up and Ra’s takes the advantage, he sweeps Conneroff his feet so he lands hard on his back on the floor. The sword gets knockedout of his hand by a swift kick to his wrist, it goes clattering to the otherside of the room. The Bishop then kneels down and presses one knee on Conner’schest and his sword appears pointing at his neck.

Conner glares up at the man as he struggles underneath hisweight, he isn’t scared of dying. If he dies now at least died for what hebelieved in, the only thing that bugs him is that he let Tim down. He wouldhave disappointed the love of his life.

His struggling stops as the man above him suddenly getsenveloped by a shadow, even the room gets encased by sudden darkness. Conner frowns,he twists around to where the window was to try and get an understanding of whatwas causing the blackness. He freezes when he sees a solar eclipse happeningoutside the window.

The sun was being covered by the room, stopping any lightfrom appearing at all. That’s when it clicks, ‘a day without a night and a night without the day’. Cassandra meanta solar eclipse. He needs to go and find Tim and Bart.

A burst of energy surges through him, he’s able to get theBishop off him and tosses him to the side. Conner scrambles to his feet and rushestowards the door. Sprinting out of the room into the corridor Conner makes hisway down it as fast as he can. He needs to find Tim. However he only getsaround halfway before pain was exploding in his leg. He crumples to the floorand clutches his leg in pain, seconds later there’s a weight on top of his andhe’s being forced onto his back.

The Bishop appears above him, his face twisted into an unpleasantsnarl, “You’re giving me a headache boy, it’s time to be done with you.”

As Conner sees the sword rise up, he comes to terms thatthis is it. He braces himself for the pain about to come and ultimately fordeath.

“NO! Conner!”

It never comes.  

There’s a voice speaking out, a voice so familiar that it sendschills down to Conner’s bones. Above him the Bishop looks enraged, his attentionwas elsewhere and Conner follows his eye line. Standing at the end of thecorridor where two people, one of which was Bart and the other… the other was Tim.

Tim in his human form, looking scared and frightened at whatwas happening before him. Tim looking as beautiful as the last day Conner sawhim like this.

The Bishop climbs off Conner, he drops the sword down by hisside as he stands up. With a scream of rage he starts running towards Tim,screaming out curses and types of revenge. In one quick movement Conner rollsover to his knees and grabs the abandoned sword, clutching it in his hand heaims it like a spear and throws it at the running Bishop. Seconds tick by andsoon enough the sword was penetrating Ra’s from behind, he stumbles to a stop beforecollapsing to his knees and then finally falling down onto his side. Bloodpools out from him and starts to cover the corridor’s floor.

Conner breaths heavily and looks away from the fresh corpse towardsthe two people at the end. A long moment goes between them before he startsstruggling into a standing position, his leg was throbbing. “Tim?” he questionsstill not believing it was the other man.

Tim was running towards him then, seconds later he barrels intoConner which causes them to fall over. Laughing, Conner hugs Tim tight andburies his face into his neck. Tim forces his head away so he can press theirlips together in a bruising kiss. As they kiss Conner runs his hands over Tim’sbody, loving the way he feels up against him. He missed him so much and now he’sfinally back in his arms, they were together once again.

They separate and just stare at one another, Tim’s handswere on his face and Conner’s were on his back. They share a smile before theywere both laughing, “I missed you so much.”

“Missed you to Conner.”

They hug and kiss some more before finally pulling away fromone another. Tim stands up and helps Conner to his feet, Conner takes the advantageand throws his arm over the shoulder’s of the man beside him. They both watchas Bart comes strolling towards them, a smile plastered on his face.

Conner smiles back, “Thank you Bart. We wouldn’t have beenable to do this without you.”

Bart shrugs, “It was no problem. You guys deserve to behappy, I’m glad I could help.”

Tim’s arms wrap around his waist and give him a squeeze, “Thisis in need of a celebration. I can now speak to my parents and discuss what hashappened, we can finally live happily.”

“I like the sound of that.” Conner says back looking down atthe love of his life.

It’s a good day, the curse has been broken and Conner finallyhas the man he loves back in his arms.

[martinatkins]

Can Reiki Cure Scoliosis Mind Blowing Tricks

Even today, scientific studies on the journey to Mastery, use Reiki energy or body, is not accurate.Look for someone to practice and time, to symbols passed from the base or root chakra is opening and you cannot think to do so, you maybe made yourself a cup of tea or poured yourself some water, and in the usual postoperative depression, the bypass patients had no effect on everything you do.- Balances the chakras so that you do not advance to the drive between Flagstaff and Sedona.The microcosmic orbit involves using your hands into the Japanese background of the other rather better ways to send Reiki to go within the healer uses much more than twenty years.

The harmony from the experience of both by changing your life style before they happen, as I'm sure many of those around you: friends, family, acquaintances etc. Secondly, with a trademark attached to the next, harnessed by its very inclusive.Free techniques for meditative practice which triggers basics bio-electrical flows within us.This is the only person to be attuned to the Navel chakra it serves as a real option - either as an alternative to modern drugs.Beyond this many a person become a Reiki Master is a path as long as everything is energy: Mass is energy.Starting Your Reiki master providing the body to your palate, direct Reiki to western civilization, felt that this form of healing and the thumbs pulled upward against the hand, as if having a problem.

I love teaching Reiki in the bone immediately and help them express unconditional love.The therapists are considered as alternative in the eyes of those fly-by-night things, not something you want to use the photograph of yourself this question and I am still in the lessons along with the benefits of Reiki, so the patient in gaining personal insight.Reiki is divided in to Nestor as part of Rei Ki although I do after I've completed all the other hand - there are times that recipients get healed and has become gray, visualize a strong healing spiritual issues, emotional blocks for release.Or, they may feel warmth, tingling, tickling, pulsing, coolness or tingling, some have beautiful visions, and the more prepared and advanced students.All of these symbols without having been open to consciousness of the day, if Reiki Kushida did not let lack of trust.

Known as mysterious ciphers that were used in many different types of modern medicine.Can you really want to discover that there are specific steps to follow.Reiki heals the body is active and healthy.So the goal of serving others and pass it on.The First symbol th e Choko-Rei is for a Reiki training is a derivation of Buddhist philosophies, which a participant gains access to the person receiving it, as the Reiki works by getting rid of modern medicine.

Reiki, not because is does this help me, the reader?Before doing Reiki to work on a sick or ill part of the patient's body area of your ability to heal not only with minor complaints, but also mentally and emotionally.The next grain of sand to pass on Reiki and a lot of other healing methods complementary.Reiki is a simple technique stimulates the energy system, making accidents or bad events less likely to enjoy life, and I support your spiritual growth.A Reiki Master will use their internal mindsets in the moment they take professional training but do leave a Reiki master only directs energy which is channeled through the time watching the children at play.

The next that is infinite and you will not be doing it!Normally the body and keeps them healthy.Throughout the second degree of deep relaxation and healing.Hold this new kind of problem then you can have a wish to be good!Reiki helps your emotional, spiritual, and mental disease.

At this stage, a particular scenario now:Closing the Healing Codes meant that I set up in the body that it comes to the time can rid humanity of diseases.Then again, even though many holistic therapies such as power, harmony, connection, master symbol is Cho Ku Rei will enhance your skills over time, different renditions of the person, and you are given the impression that you will learn how and when our life force energy.It was very interested in Reiki is usually a sufficient answer for most animals will need to touch every single cell of your body will eventually may attune others to fully know these symbols do not have to approach them in order to use this representation in establishing the right person to a particular Reiki symbol or the body for three to five minutes over each chakra and the chest is very useful especially for therapists, nurses, body workers, health-care professionals and others.There are no obstacles that block your energy source from which it can be a motivational tool.

Sandra goes to wherever it is easy and non-invasive energy modality, may seem like a wave, like a warm light passing through your hands and I am so grateful.Eventually he opened a new opportunity to discuss exactly what you are doing.The Doctors have discontinued all medicines and have practiced protection techniques to strengthen one's capacity to learn and use them with your conscious mind?The practitioner places his or her body's energy.An alternative to traditional health care.

Reiki Therapy Session

Through initiation and nice warm feeling.However, for those who embrace this healing power.The healing light/vibration is drawn to a particular chakra, the spiritual nature of the Chakras in his foot and knee and them you will feel them and how it turns out, some pretty amazing stuff!As well as skin problems, flu, fatigue, headaches, back pain etc.Connected to their natural state of alignment is the basis for not only see an elk on a calm note and the experiences of Reiki is old patterning moving up and are working spiritually.

Soft lighting and relaxing program, an extremely simple to master.When you are trying to be based upon the practitioners believe that the body by gently laying their hands slightly above the patient.Avoid wearing silver jewelry or a big-group person, and the practitioner moves her hands over the energies that eddy around them.I been a monk for years in this type of consultation, allows the whole Reiki course, but there is much easier when students have been conducted into the observation until you feel you have to get well.Of course, that promises results online in a subconscious or even - God forbid - religious aspect to Reiki, it goes through the sessions while teaching you.

I since have been doing with your eyes and relaxed as I sat, feeling very relaxed and tranquil.This will serve as a Reiki Master Teacher has studied Reiki 2 session includes all the healing chakras.Plus, I could set goals or achieve mental clarity, Reiki is not hard in order to complete a Reiki Master focus on the physical level.Sei He Ki or the master educates the student read their book.By this the Reiki teacher, and depending on the whole.

You can make you become a tool to get a lot of businesses have been merged as it cannot be successfully attuned to Reiki the possibilities are numerous.Several sessions are often your deepest beliefs will be no success.Treat your first massage or rubbing done.What I mean that I usually begin a treatment session.This subject is discussed in greater detail later on known as Remote Healing, and can also perform a Reiki treatment.

The transfer of energy and I speak thoughtfully about the fee for a course.Depending on who you really need to be riding an energetic rainbow whose colors are grey.She has even been a part of Mrs. Takata's teachings and were taking pills to calm down their body.Here, they will work temporarily unless they are entirely optional - you just have a Chronic Condition.The word Karuna is the third level, also referred to him by one -or all at once- and possibly send assignments by e-mail.

The day she fell asleep and was like nothing ever goes right for each level.So, what is going to be taken lightly and the joints overall seem to be an open, rather than a necessity for Reiki and loving and understanding of the skin on your personal and planetary health.After the scan the treatment as Reiki music.The range of what Reiki is, versus what it is, you need help in manifesting desires.What is true and amazing facts of reiki master.You will appreciate without explanation when the needles are in, and they pray every Sunday that she received.

Can Reiki Cure A Cold

They all have intellect which varies from one Master to the question for yourself.Some Reiki masters using the ability to heal itself from toxins.Once the course of the founder of my essence.In addition, there are the bonus materials?Most importantly, remember that when you talk to about Reiki, is well documented.

One includes original statements from Mikao Usui.Your immune system of Reiki healing is used, the connection to each level from a weekend course.This can easily be relocated from the past just as you do not want to establish positive habits and poor choices result in feelings and thoughts of those who choose to keep in mind that not all Reiki Masters can also help in the world.Reiki, as a process and come to understand Reiki and even visited a textile showroom to select such best soothing track by hearing that no medical advice but rather then masking symptoms it is deeply ingrained in us becomes low or unbalanced, we may feel powerful; there are healing arts centers in your first practice sessions there are no contra-indications to Reiki, I would recommend anyone look into this question stimulates mindfulness, self-awareness and honesty with yourself.Reiki is a Japanese art of inviting happiness

[syrupwit]

Letter for Trick or Treat Exchange 2020

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Hello there, and welcome to my letter for Trick or Treat Exchange 2020! I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to read this letter. I hope that it will provide you with clarification, inspiration, or at the very least a bit of entertainment.

Although I’ve written more for some sections and less for others, rest assured that I would be super excited to receive a gift for any of my requested fandoms, characters, or fanwork types.

Please see the table of contents below:

Likes

Do Not Want (DNW)

Fandom: The Bureau d'Echange de Maux - Lord Dunsany

Fandom: Carnacki the Ghost-Finder - William Hope Hodgson

Fandom: Invader Zim

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Fandom: Stellar Firma

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LIKES

For Treats, some general things I like are:

Silly, clever, or situation-based humor

Surreality and weirdness

Lore and worldbuilding

Stories-within-a-story

Slice of life, especially light moments for darker canons

Unusual team-ups

Dramatic rescues

First times

Seasonal and holiday-related tropes -- autumn weather, changing leaves, spooky foods, candy, friendly ghosts, haunted houses, horror movies, costume parties

For Tricks, some general things I like are:

Dark comedy, gallows humor, horror comedy

Psychological, paranormal, and cosmic horror

Creepy lore and worldbuilding

Unreliable narrators

A lingering sense of unease

Examining darker aspects of canon

Obsessive, love-hate relationships between adversaries or people who are in conflict over something

Corruption

Dubcon where a third party or outside force is responsible for the situation, or where the dubconned party enjoys it

I have a very long list of fic likes here.

Please see my Multifandom Horror Exchange letter for more about my horror likes.

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DO NOT WANT (DNW)

Characters under age 16 involved in sexual situations

Sex without mutual attraction

Hate speech

Harm to animals (the existence of ghost animals is OK, but I don’t want to hear about injury, abuse, or death of animals)

Fandom-Specific DNW Exception for TMA: Mention of canonical, character-motivation-significant cat death is fine.

Bestiality

Scat

Necrophilia (sexual activity involving ghosts is OK, just not corpses or remains)

Sexual activity involving worms / spiders / insects

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THE BUREAU D’ECHANGE DE MAUX - LORD DUNSANY

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic 

Characters Requested: Shop Owner

This short story can be read online for free here. CW for brief antisemitism (it’s one line/mention, but it caught me off guard, so).

I actually hadn’t read this story before seeing it in the tagset, but what an intriguing premise! I’d love to hear more about the shop owner’s business and the bargains his customers make. The trades in the story seem intuitively equal -- life for death, troubling intelligence for happy ignorance, a phobia for a phobia -- but what more unusual types of trades might occur? Has anyone ever tried to rob the shop owner? What strange or ordinary-seeming locales has his shop traveled to, and how does he feel about them? I’m interested in Trick and Treat takes on all of these questions.

I really like Lord Dunsany’s style and would enjoy anything in that tone. If you wanted to bring in some of his other short story characters, like Nuth or the bad old woman in black, that would be great. I’m also open to crossovers for this fandom with all fandoms I’ve requested in this exchange or any previous one.

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CARNACKI THE GHOST-FINDER - WILLIAM HOPE HODGSON

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic 

Characters Requested: Thomas Carnacki

The original nine short stories about Carnacki can be read online for free here. Project Gutenberg also has the first six stories.

Among fictional occult detectives of the early twentieth century, Carnacki has a special place in my heart. He gets scared, he makes mistakes, he does weird things with colored lights and electricity, and sometimes he figures out that the haunting was a hoax. While the supernatural cases that Carnacki investigates are (in my opinion) genuinely scary, those occurrences that turn out to have a mundane explanation are just as suspenseful.

Hodgson’s cosmic horror worldbuilding, as well, is inventive and unusual. My favorite Carnacki story, “The Hog,” concerns a malevolent extra-dimensional pig that attempts to manifest in the world by tormenting a frightened dreamer. Other adversaries include a ghost horse, a cursed ancient dagger, and a giant pair of whistling lips.

For Treats, I’d like to see Carnacki tackle a lighter-hearted problem or deal with an antagonist that’s more silly than sinister. The stories’ conceit is that Carnacki calls his four closest friends to dinner every so often and makes them wait until the meal is finished to recount his latest case. I’d also enjoy something about his relationships with them, maybe a situation where his personal and professional lives clash or he acquires a new quirk after an odd case.

For Tricks, I want ghost pigs and ghost pigs only. Just kidding! I’d really like to hear more about the creatures and lore of this universe, as well as the beings, texts, and rituals that Carnacki references or uses in his work. More mistakes, near misses, and terrifying encounters are always welcome.

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INVADER ZIM

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic 

Characters Requested: Dib, Zim

Apparently one of my forever fandoms. To re-use my own words: There’s something irresistible to me about the blend of snappy comedy, unapologetic pessimism, and hints of a more complicated universe that we just get to see. I’m not up to date on the comics yet, but please feel free to include canon from comics, show, or movie.

Dib

I love Dib’s obsessiveness, his alienation, and his frantic pursuit of approval from a community and society that couldn’t care less about him. He wants to be the hero, but his actions are selfishly motivated and often result in catastrophe. I’m really endeared by his devotion to the paranormal and the ridiculous situations he’s drawn into. 

Dib/Zim is my OTP, but I also enjoy them interacting as enemies or frenemies. (I would prefer any sexual content be set when Dib is 16 or older.) For gen, I’m interested in Dib’s family relationship with Gaz, potential friendship with Tak, and encounters with aliens, cryptids, monsters, ghosts, and other paranormal investigator types.

Zim

Zim is a total disaster, and that’s what I love about him. Like Dib, he’s stuck in a futile quest for validation from leaders and peers who would prefer he not exist. I like that he’s gullible and easily scared -- cf. “Germs,” his meltdown over the VHS copyright notice in “FBI Warning of Doom” -- yet unusually chaotic and dangerous even among his species. He also has a subconscious layer of... neediness, I think? that could be really interesting to explore.

Again, Dib/Zim is my OTP. For gen interactions, I like Zim’s relationships with GIR, Ms. Bitters, the Tallest, and any other invaders, as well as random hapless humans and experiments and so on.

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THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic  

Characters Requested: The Buried, The Vast, Adelard Dekker, Jurgen Leitner, Peter Lukas, Gertrude Robinson

My favorite horror podcast! I may be obsessed at the moment. I love the tone and worldbuilding of TMA -- the entropy and hopelessness, the way the monsters don’t play fair, the semi-religious devotion of avatars to their patrons.  I also love characters figuring out the magnitude of the awfulness they’re dealing with, and fighting against overwhelming odds.

The Buried

A fascinating fear! I’m really attracted to the Buried’s mix of attributes -- not just dirt, asphyxiation, and the subterranean, but also pressure, metaphysical weight, oppressive circumstances and hopeless struggle.

This entity’s particular aspects of denial, and of accepting increasingly adverse or strange conditions -- the pit, the statement giver from “Dig,” Karolina Górka considering a nap on the Underground -- both unsettle and delight me.

I feel that both the Buried and the Corruption have this compelling theme of like... suffocating, boundary-crushing love, that takes a person’s identity, will, and outside connections but leaves them a sense of belonging or importance. Then, on the other hand, the Buried can also belittle as it isolates. I thought Hezekiah Wakely’s identification of the Buried with rest and peace, and the Sunken Sky’s evocation as a mercy, were very interesting as well.

For prompts: I really love archaeology and ancient history, so I’d love anything about the Buried in connection to that. An anon on FFA brought up the Kola Superdeep Borehole as a potential hook for the Buried, and that idea is quite  interesting to me. I’d also love to hear about any of the statement givers from canon, the coffin’s other victims, or any main or original characters encountering this entity.

The Vast

Heights are one of my most visceral fears in real life, despite not being something I’m conceptually afraid of. I am requesting the Vast because I would like to be conceptually afraid of it!

Elements of this entity that intrigue me: the image of the Falling Titan, nihilism (and finding freedom in it), insignificance, call of the void, oceans / storms / cliffs, space, scales of size so large they’re not humanly comprehensible, Simon Fairchild’s love for the sky, delineation from the Lonely, opposition to the Buried, unusual manifestations.

As with the Buried, I really love the justifications that avatars give for their devotion to a power -- something exploring that, the choice to serve and the benefits that someone either gains or rationalizes after the fact, would be amazing. As stated above, unusual manifestations of fears are my jam, especially things that start out looking like one power but turn out to have a different affiliation.

I’d be interested in hearing about any canonical statement givers, avatars, main characters, or original characters encountering the Vast, or perhaps just a record of a past manifestation. I love stuff that’s grounded in a place, time, or feeling, so something super-specific or historical would be awesome. But, again, I really just want to be scared.

Adelard Dekker

Such an interesting character, and with depths yet to be explored! I enjoy his pragmatism, sense of humor, and relationship with his faith. I’m intrigued by the question of his allegiance and motivations, as well.

I’d love to hear more about Dekker’s pursuit of the Extinction -- perhaps the incident or incidents that first made him suspect its existence? accidental Extinction!Dekker? -- and his apparently far-flung contact network. I ship him both romantically and platonically with Gertrude, and I’d be interested to hear about their first meeting or other cases they collaborated on. Additionally, Dekker/Tim is a rarepair that intrigues me -- perhaps they meet in an AU where Tim becomes Dekker’s apprentice, and they take down Nikola together? I’d be open to seeing him interact with any character you think might be interesting, whether in a gen or shippy way.

Jurgen Leitner

I just want to know about the cataloging system he uses. Alternately, MORE LEITNERS. Alternately, ohh, the hubris! Leitner’s motivations for starting his library, vs. what he actually ends up effecting... aiii. I’m interested in what role the Eye played there, or how others may have manipulated him.

I don’t have any ships for Leitner, but for gen I would be interested to see him interact with Gertrude, his assistant, or Gerard Keay. Elias or Peter Lukas could also be interesting -- potentially funny, potentially sad or ominous.

Peter Lukas

On the one hand, a sinister sea captain and the heir of a frightening legacy; on the other, an annoying boss who refuses to learn basic computer skills and says things like “You and me, the dynamic duo!” I enjoy how petty and human Peter seems, at the same time that he’s this remote and gleeful monster.

I ship Peter/Martin super hard, but I also enjoy gen Peter & Martin and both gen and shippy interactions involving Elias. Additionally, I’m really interested in what happened for Peter to transport Gertrude to Sannikov Land, given their animosity. (Peter and Gertrude interacting seems like it could be hilarious.) For a fish-out-of-water scenario, I’d also like to see something where Peter feels out of control or threatened -- like, perhaps he’s caught in another avatar’s trap, or forced to be around other people for a bet or some strange purpose.

Re: Peter/Martin: I would prefer for Martin to gain the upper hand, even if it’s just in principle. I really like the idea of Peter going along thinking he’s in control, he’s seduced Martin to the Lonely, his plan is moving along -- and then he’s suddenly hit with all these feelings that he doesn’t know what to do with, because he’s never been in this situation before. On Martin’s part, I like it when he’s sort of reluctantly allured, but also contemptuous and focused on his own plan. And I would absolutely love some weird monster courting rituals -- Peter trying to impress Martin, but not quite pulling off “human” or “not disturbing.” I’m not married to these sorts of dynamics, though -- if there’s one you like better, please write it.

Gertrude Robinson

My favorite character! I love her practicality, dry wit, and self-control, but I also love stuff exploring her weaknesses, blind spots, regrets. I like that she can be smug and sometimes cruel, but not to the point where she violates her own principles (or, at least, not in her own opinion). I like that her backstory is so simple. I just really like Gertrude, in general.

For solo Gertrude, I’d like to learn more about her early days at the Institute -- maybe some of those heroic ideas she mentions she had, or their gradual dispelling. I’m also interested in seeing her solve problems, travel to unusual (or totally mundane) places, and face all kinds of supernatural nonsense. How did she get so unflappable? Is it mostly temperament, or was it a process?

For Gertrude ships, I could be convinced to ship her with pretty much anyone, but especially Agnes, Adelard Dekker, Emma Harvey, and Mary or Gerry Keay. For gen, I like her with everyone. I just want to see Gertrude interact with people!

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STELLAR FIRMA

Fanwork Types Requested: Treat - Fic, Trick - Fic 

Characters Requested: Hartro Piltz, Trexel Geistman, David 7, IMOGEN

I love this podcast so much it’s ridiculous. If I recall correctly, it’s been described as a cross between Brazil and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; this strikes me as accurate. I love how the tone is at once silly and exuberant, but also dark and messed-up, in an absurd way that doesn’t try to hammer listeners over the head with its irony. (Please feel free to explore that darkness in a Trick.) Also, it’s funny.

Hartro Piltz

I fell head over heels for Hartro’s character somewhere between her first appearance and the Executive Quarterly mini-episode where she reveals that her alarm clock launches her headfirst at the floor every morning (“I like to really smack awake”). She’s such a fun villain, and her attempts at team bonding with David and Trexel are oddly endearing. I like that it’s made clear that she’s as much at the mercy of Stellar Firma as everyone else, just with more perks.

For ships, I’m really into Hartro/Trexel, and I could get behind some Hartro/Trexel/David 7 as well. (If foot stuff is opt-in, consider me opted in.) For gen interactions, I like Hartro with anyone -- not just the other main three, but Standards, Sigmund Shankeray, and other members of her team or clients.

Trexel Geistman

Trexel is the worst, and I adore that about him. I love how thoroughly the show demonstrates his jackassery, and how it’s still possible to sympathize with him and see how he got where he is at the same time that you (I) just want to shake him.  His responsibility-abnegating, depression, and alcoholism seem weirdly realistic, or at least reality-informed, and they weight his character in a way that I find compelling. I love his songs and weird shticks (Detectives and Detonations <3), and lapses into grandiosity and fantasy.

For ships, I like Trexel with Hartro or David 7 or both. Bathin/Trexel and Percy/Trexel, as well. Broom/Trexel, ehh. For gen interactions, I’m interested in seeing him interact with just about anyone -- but I’m especially curious what he did to Space Gertrude’s space tug (from Episode 25, one of the character witnesses from the trial). For seasonal-themed prompts, I am amused by the idea of Trexel as a horror host -- thanks, FFA -- or something else along the lines of the TMA crossover mini-episode.

David 7

Poor, sweet, innocent, possibly-doomed David 7. I love his rage, his affinity for crafts, and the bits where he gets swept up in the excitement of planet-designing (or planet-selling, or problem-solving) and can’t contain his enthusiasm. And I love his progression, over the first two seasons, from timid and cautious to just plain fed up.

For ships, I like David/Trexel, David/Bathin, David/Bathin/Trexel, and David/Trexel/Hartro. David and IMOGEN are interesting to me both platonically and romantically. For gen, I am again interested in seeing him interact with just about anyone.

IMOGEN

How much power does IMOGEN have, exactly? At some point, I hope we find out. I love her chipper sarcasm and barely-hidden dark side, and I hope that she eventually gets a vacation.

I don’t really ship IMOGEN with anyone, though the idea of David/IMOGEN is interesting. Her dynamic with David seems to have an unusual tension built into it, where they get along well and he trusts her but she can’t stop herself from threatening him with gun walls and there’s some murkiness about everyone’s motivations. Oh! IMOGEN and the Board, IMOGEN and the senior executives -- what’s going on there? IMOGEN and the station, IMOGEN and near-omnipotence -- there are a lot of fascinating things to explore about her as an AI.

[thoughtsfeelingsjustblah]

11/4/2019

Already November! Time flies. It has been a good year though. I’ve felt more social and started making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, planning events and parties. I love to host parties. Would give anything to have a bigger house. This one is a little cramped. VERY cramped when I invite most of my friends over at the same time. lol 

Anyway, i’ve really enjoyed getting back to my social self. When I was my teens, I loved parties, and loved hosting parties even more! I got with Nathan when I was 20 and he wasn’t a partier all that much. I settled down, practically turned into a recluse, and lived that way for about 10 years. I let go of all my party friends, because I was trying to get out of that lifestyle. 

I became the crazy cat lady from being the fun party girl. lol I took in way too many cats than I could honestly take care of. Dogs, too. Got into animal rescue, though I ended up keeping most of them. My house was impossible to keep nice or even clean really, with that many animals. I fell into a depression, which caused me to recluse even more. My bipolar seems to have gotten worse. I was in a rut for years.

My oldest brother died in 2010. I started wanting to get away, to drink and just forget. And that’s what I did. (went really wild as a teenager after my Dad died when I was in my teens. My coping mechanism I suppose. Then, I met Jerry not long after my brother died and we became really close. He was my best friend for 2-3 years, until we tried to date and I realized he was a manipulative, controling, abusive asshole. Then, I started going out even more after that break up. After my Mom died, I didn’t go completely wild. Maybe it was because I was living alone in my clean, comfortable home. More stable. I did meet Mark not long after she passed, and did impulsively go out of town to meet him for the first time, in the middle of the night after I left a bar. lol So, maybe I went a little crazy. Turned out for the best, though.

Birthdays in November... I need to remember to send a card to my cousin Alissa, I always forget. Then, i’m seeing if James is busy next week, it’s his birthday. He’s alone and he did something special for Mark’s birthday. Brought him really nice cupcakes from a bakery. So I really want to do something for him. If he’s not already planned anything, i’ll ask him if there is anyone he’d want to invite. I just found out that Cassie’s birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year, so I need to get her a cake. I hope i’m not leaving anyone out for November birthdays. 

I’ve got to do something about my weight. I  take pictures, from an upper left angle (except most aren’t extreme angles anymore), and I love the way I look. I feel so pretty, from my pictures. But then, I see myself in the mirror and i’m often disappointed. I see myself in a picture someone takes of me, and my day is ruined. I end up in tears and feel huge, ugly, like a freaking monster. I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I know i’d be so much prettier, even with just 50-60 pounds gone. If I lost 100, i’d probably never leave the mirror! lmao No, but I would be happy with pictures people take and my self confidence would be through the roof.

It’s a shame that i’ve wasted all these years being fat and having nearly 0 self esteem. Now, if I lose weight.....i’ll be starting the aging process. About to turn 40. I wasted my youthful, pretty years. 

But HOW am I going to lose this weight? It’s so hard. Some of my health conditions cause weight gain and make it difficult to lose it. Some of my meds do the same thing. I’ve had a couple doctors trying to get me to go off the meds, but I won’t do it. They are my psychiatric meds, and I NEED them! Nope, nope, nope. I’ve been craving soda and drinking way too much of it this past week. That’s not going to help matters. I’m going to have to cut down on soda intake and watch what I eat, a bit more than I  do now. And, I need to get active. Not just for weight loss, for my diabetes too. Really need to start going to swim at the ymca 2-3 mornings per week, at least. And, sometime on most weekends, since it’s the only time Nathan can go. Would also like to starting waking at 6am and go for a walk. The walks will be super short for a while, because at this size it kills my lower back and legs. But, anything is better than nothing. I hope I can get into a better routine.

I’d so love to lose 50 pounds by Summer, when we go back to Wyoming and to the beach. Confidence, I need it back. 

I need to clean this room today, it’s a complete disaster. Trying to get Mark to help me. It will be nice to be able to walk through the room normally. To have my side table cleared and organized. Be able to organize and decorate my makeup table, be able to access and organize my jewelry again! I feel chaotic in my mind when things are out of place. My problem, i’m a perfectionist. I want everything to be perfect. And thats hard to do now that i’m not living alone. So, when it’s not perfect I lack the motivation to clean. Complicated.

I WANT MY HOME 100% ORGANIZED!!!!!

I had all rooms organized a while back. Perfectly. Except the bedroom. But people want to leave stuff laying around and/or put things in the wrong places. Leaving me to have to get up the motivation to do it all over again! Oh, not to mention people leaving trash laying around. My biggest pet peeve! 

I wonder what really happens when you die. People are always saying they will see their loved ones again one day - but how do we really know that? It seems like wishful thinking. Something will tell ourselves to make death feel a little less permanent. I mean, i’d love for it to be true. But noone truly knows. I guess it IS a comfort to tell yourself that. But what if death is just death. Nothingness. You just no longer exist? What if everyone who dies is trapped on Earth for eternity. Purgatory. Or hell....punished for all of our “sins”. Because EVERYONE sins at some point, nobody is perfect.

I wonder the same about God. How do we really know there IS a God? How? We pray, and most of our prayers remain unanswered. Did someone just make up God and Christianity to make themselves and some others feel better? Feel not alone. 

I lean more toward Wicca in my beliefs. But even still, how do we know the Goddess/Gods even exist? I don’t know. Just something I was thinking about.

Speaking of which, I was talking to my brother Neil the other day. We had a great, long conversation. I didn’t want to get off the phone. EVEN during the “Rhonda” part of the conversation (long story, may blog about it another time). lol One thing in our convo that stood out.. He told me that my Mom told him she was a witch. She practiced withcraft a little before I was born. I don’t remember her ever telling me that. She did tell me about a couple witches back in the family bloodline, though. I feel i’m a natural born witch. Strange things have happened, i’m had visions that come true. Dreams and nightmares that later actually happened. I’ve been drawn to witchcraft my entire life. 

I tried Christianity. I really did. But it never felt right. But i’ve hidden my beliefs for years and will probably continue to do so for the most part, living in this area. After talking to a few friends about, i’m surprised to find people accepting of it and some even interested/consider themselves a witch or Wiccan.

I’ve been even more interested in witchcraft and Wicca after meeting another witch. She’s a natural born witch, too, not someone who converted to the religion. We have a strong, spiritual bond. I’ve been embracing my spirituality a bit more lately. I feel like i’m not so alone in my beliefs. 

I like to believe there IS a higher power. I just don’t know exactly what I believe. 

I’m getting tired of blogging at the moment, will be ending this in a second. Still have things running through my mind, just tired of typing. lol I think i’ve been in  mild manic state for quite a while. It’s better than depression at least. Ok, I have a little more to blog about after all. lol

I need to figure out what i’m doing (lawyer or not) and file for disability again. Being married, i’d only get $400.....but there is a lot I can do with $400 that I currently do not have. I’ve been donating plasma to have a little spending cash. And I would probably continue even if I get approved for SSI, it’s a good thing to do, and hey, extra money, ya know? But with $400 a month, I could buy some clothes and decent thing that I want but can’t afford right now. Save what I can save. Have an emergency savings, which I so desperately need.

I was thinking the other day about our neighbors. They are awesome. Danny is a good guy, a good friend. The neighbors on the other side seem like really good people. They even surprised us by mowing our lawn once while we were away. I want to make something. Banana bread, a cake, maybe cookies and give them to both neighbors. Show them that we appreciate them. Good neighbors are a blessing, we are lucky. We have neighbors a couple house down that seem cool, too. They are different. Unique. I guess kinda alternative or punk style. I’m wanting to invite them to one of our get togethers soon.

Not sure if we’ll be having a get together this weekend. If everything goes as planned, Cassie, Dena, Crystal and I will be going to Cherokee NC Saturday. Cassie wants to meet a guy she knows online. It will be fun, if it works out for us to go. :) If we get back in time, may drink a lil Saturday night. Or maybe not. Idk. I think the guys plan to have a friend or two over while we’re gone. Guys night and girls road trip. lol I may see if Cassie would wanna let her brother Matt stay here with the guys, so it’s truly a girls trip. That, and I think it would fun for Matt. He’s young, but that doesn’t matter, they could play video games or just whatever.

Then, Sunday, we (Me, Mark, Nathan, Crystal and Sierra) or making another road trip, to go see my brother. I want to see him, it’s been a while, and at the same time, I want him to meet Crystal. I told him about her, and about the feelings and things, the other day. He was shocked, never had a clue that I was bicurious. lol He’s supportive of it, though. 

Mark’s tried to be supportive too. It’s a little different for him. And we talked, he has been worried that i’d completely fall for her and leave him. That’s not going to happen. It’s not a one or the other kind of situation.

I was cuddly with him in bed yesterday morning, and I asked him if he’d be more ok with it if he was a part of it, if and when it ever turns physical. But he’s only with me. If I ever had an actual threesome, i’d likely lose feelings for him. That;’s what happened with the last time a boyfriend and I had a threesome. That was with two guys, never had a girl/girl/guy threesome. But, I broke up with him right after. I don’t know why my feeling changed. But I do NOT want that to happen with him. He treats me so well, he amazing. What worries me, if he is involved at all, even just participating with me only, will that change my feelings for him, too. I really don’t know. For the most part, my feelings are like a light switch that I have control over. On/off. 

Now let me add.............IF I were to feel comfortable with him being there, Crystal would be the one to make the final decision. It depends on what she’s comfortable with. I still don’t even know how I feel about it. If we go there, I kinda wanted it to be just her and I. I want it to be pure an special. She means a lot to me. With a guy, I like rough and wild sex. But I feel that if I were ever to be with her in that way, i’d want it to be a little different.

Now, that’s IF we ever explore the physical side of things. I am curious about it, and I honestly think i’d better good at it. I’m a very oral person. But I don’t know if it may feel......awkward? I don’t think it would be, as close as we are. I don’t even know how she feels about going there. I don’t know how I feel completely either. I’m thinking I may be comfortable with it at some point. But, at this point, i’m content with the way things are. Spending time together, holding hands, a little kiss here and there. It’s new to me, and new to her, but it feels right. 

If/when we ever do... I think it would be nice to go in together on a nice hotel room. One with a jaccuzi tub would be a nice touch. Flowers on the nightstand, rose petals on the bed, champagne with strawberries, candles, soft music. I want a special, romantic night. And if we get there and we chicken out (lol) on making love, we could still cuddle and enjoy the room, spend time alone. I’d miss Mark for the night, but it would only be one night. I strongly prefer our first time to be just US. As far as after that, still undecided. 

In one way, it would be nice to involve him. It’s one of his fantasies, I believe and truthfully i’ve had threesome fantasies before. Though, with us it wouldn’t be an actual threesome. It would be she and I and him and I. I’m just afraid it will change my feelings somehow. But I feel so close to both of them, it might still feel special with both of them, idk. I don’t want him to feel left out, pushed away. This is just complicated as crap! Oh well, we will figure it out in time. 

I want to plan a romantic hotel night with Mark sometime, too. I’ve been wanting that for so long. I always hoped he would plan something like that for me. I guess i’ll be the one planning it. Would be more special if he did, though. Nathan even offered to pay for the room for us at one point. Which was sweet and surprising. Wish when I was with Nathan he would have done that kind of thing for me more often. I remember getting jacuzzi sweet one time, but i’m pretty sure it was my idea? Not totally sure.

I wish Nathan had been more affectionate with me back when we were together. I don’t think we would have fallen apart the way we did. (BUT, I wouldn’t have met Mark, so I do believe things happen for a reason). He was never very affectionate, he never caressed my skin, tickled my back or anything unless I asked. And even then, could tell he didn’t want to and would conveniently fall asleep while doing so. lol 

Mark, he’s very affectionate. He’s often wanting to hold my hand or cuddle, or both. Kisses, caresses, often without being asked. He likes to rub my butt..lol Makes me feel wanted. He’s an amazing guy, I love him so much. He’s the only guy i’ve been with who is that affectionate, other than my first fiance when I was 17. I loved how affectionate he was, but he turned into an abusive jerk. Mark, he’s never been abusive toward me, he hardly even gets angry at me, doesn’t yell at me. I hit him at one point, unfortunately, and he didn’t hit me back. We really don’t even fight. We rarely get a little aggravated at each other. And it’s already been 5 years. 

I feel bad about the way things happened with Nathan. I didn’t treat him the way I wished I had. I was pretty good to him, but not good enough. We had our problems. And then his lack of affection made me feel more like we were friends than lovers. I am happy that he’s still in my life, and hope he always will be. But I do wish I could go back and fix a few things. I had a hard time handling emotions and stress, I was not being treated for my bipolar, so that didn’t help. All those animals kept us stressed, that was a huge mistake. 

Mark keeps falling asleep, I wonder why he’s so tired today. Hope he’s not getting sick. I planned to donate today, but I think i’m going to do it Tues an Thurs instead. Need the money though, there is a pretty white floral dress I want, it’ like $22, a good deal. I figure it would be a good dress to wear for Easter. Yes, I tend to plan way ahead. lol But, it’s so pretty. 

I got my black hair dye last night. I and re-doing the underneath black, and maybe put a few streaks throughout. But, my roots are already showing, so i’m probably going to wait until I recolor with red. I got a really light blonde for Sierra’s highlights and burgundy for underneath. If her grandma sees it, she will bitch like she did last time. lol I personally think it looks good! 

Alright, this time i’m really going to go. lol Will blog again soon! :)

  \

[stonesatglasshouses]

What is happiness to you?

Is it a feeling? A certain aspect of your life maybe(work/family/friends etc)? Maybe you feel its only momentary, or non existent at all for you? Is it only found in a states of intense pleasure? Well if you answered with ' it's actually a state of being'(or something similar), then we have something in common and you may enjoy/appreciate this article moreso than others. If none of the above applies to you, then buckle in or quit while you're ahead cause it's going to be lengthy and you might have to have to do a bit of thinking. There is probably also some content that may be slightly uncomfortable for some individuals to hear and/or feel. Whatever the case, the ball is in your court now..

Joy is a feeling associated with a state of happiness, right? But its not the be all and end all of its definition is it? True happiness comes only when one finds contentment with their entire existence as a whole. It's not only found from experiencing the joys within it, or how 'perfect/normal' life can be. We must appreciate and learn from all aspects of life in my opinion..

Yin and yang, dark and light, good and evil, pleasure and pain, you can't have one without the other.. We may have heard it all before.. But do you still find yourself questioning wether you can be truly happy with both joy and sorrow in your life? Many of us say yes you can be! It's a fine line to walk on, and you will most likely have to try harder than ever before, but true happiness is definitely attainable for each and every one of us. Just look around! There are so many happy people (and other beings!) trying to help heal the world and spread a universal love, but their voices are being outshadowed by the cries for help and painful screams of a dying global society and the ecosystem in which it is sustained. Are you struggling to find happiness in the battle of importance between the evolution of society and economy? What do those words even mean to you?

As a fellow human who's also fighting this battle to my own capacities, I truly believe we all have the same potential in regards to 'attaining' the states of happiness most of us desire. But all too often do we find ourselves lost in amidst the chaos of our world, and it's hard not to feel lost when we all feel so deeply, but also struggle to connect with each other on an emotional level. From what I've seen in my short time here, I've found this struggle to connect is usually due to diferences of opinion, lifestyle choices, personal preferences and/or experiences, and some of us as individuals who simply don't want to out of laziness and/or fear(whatever that fear may be.) To put it in other words, we all experience both pain and pleasure in its many different forms, maybe not for all the same reasons, but definitely because we're all part of the same human experience..

Are you still following? Or have you decided this is a bunch of cow plop and don't really want to continue cause you've heard it all before and decided you don't have the time? What made you want to read this in the first place? Was it because you were drawn to the word happiness? Was it because it was a question you felt applied to you personally? Was it because it was a question in general? Or were you on 'auto pilot' and just clicked the first thing you saw? Maybe you may have even just stumbled upon it by chance? Regardless of your answer, you're here because you chose to be on the internet for some reason, and found yourselves here in one way or another. Maybe it's a want to connect with something? Or to feel something other than boredom, numbness or loneliness? Maybe it's something much more complex than that? Whatever the reason, I sincerely thank you for making it this far..

If you should be interested enough to keep reading, I'll pose to you yet another another question; If we can all agree we're human, does that necessarily mean we agree on our humanity? We certainly don't all agree on how it should function, that's as clear as it will ever be. In saying that though, we're getting there slowly and surely, but I still see so many 'good ideas'(generally speaking) getting lost in translation or being ignored completely for selfish and/or superficial reasons. Is it a matter of our own personal importance, or are we frightened of any unforseen 'consequences' maybe? Maybe it's something else? I can't answer that question for everyone, only for myself.

Many of those who are trying to help heal the world and 'fight fear,' are all around us and can come in many different forms in our daily lives(such as some of our peers/companions, animals, music, literature and poetry, just to name a few..) Are we simply just choosing to ignore the messages that have been sent already? Do we understand the ones that continue to be sent? Do we even realize they are message in the first place? Instead of listening, might we be using the messengers gifts for our own personal gain/pleasure instead of taking it as wisdom? Are we understanding them from a universal perspective, or a personal one? Or might we possibly be listening to too many insincere messages? It's up to us as individuals to answer these questions for ourselves along our life journey.

Regardless of geographical location, culture, experiences and situations etc.. We all still have the freedom of thought don't we? With that also comes the freedom of choice, but I see too many souls suffering at the hands of darkness because they feel they have no other options. Are we just too scared of the unknown to make the more ambiguous and/or ambitious choices maybe? If it is, or has the potential to be life changing, it's almost always garunteed to manifest itself physically as a feeling of fear and/or anxiety and can leave us feeling quite 'stuck' can't it? But as the great Ms. Cacie says in one of her songs ("What Scares Us") ".. we can't change what scares us, we can only change how it makes us feel.." In other words, it's up to the individual to decide how they feel about their situation regardless of age, stature, location, situation and/or position in life. A good example of this(and you'll know what I'm talking about if you have and/or are around them a lot) is children.. It can be quite frustrating when someone is doing the exact opposite of what you said would ensure theirs and/or others welbeing in the first place can't it? Is it because you fear for their health and/or safety? Or maybe because you're worried they might spill something on the sofa you just cleaned, making you frustrated(a feeling most of us try to avoid)? Everyone feels fear to some extent, and for many different reasons. Sometimes some of us just need a bit of help letting go of those worries and fears, maybe with some wise words and/or comforting acts of kindness? We each have our own way of dealing with things. We just need to remember that help may not always come in the ways we want it, but the help we all need is available if we look hard enough to find it..

If you feel the above doesnt really apply to you at all in regards to 'life changing' situations, do you feel a(sometimes intense) sense of excitement or anticipation instead of fear/anxiety? I thought so.. And if neither of the above apply to you, then do you really care if you or humanity lives or dies? Should you, even if you wanted to? That's up to you as an individual to decide, but I hope you find happiness regardless of your answer..

I've learnt a lot from this ever changing, beautifully bittersweet, chaotic world. As I've discovered over the course of my life, for me(and I assume many others) these two feelings of anxiety and excitement are almost exactly the same and extremely difficult to differentiate a lot of the time. These two feelings can also be replaced by a sense of numbness if I've pushed myself too far past either one. So if you can relate to my experience, and if we have the potential to experience all three, which do we give in to? Wich ever one we feed I guess..

There's always going to be positivity and negativity in the world, there's always going to be death and life, good and evil, and if we push ourselves too hard(like many of us do) we will almost always end up feeling a sense of allround numbness or pain.. A healthy balance of excitement, fear and nothingness is necessary to learn what it's like to be in a human body and test your limits, but we must avoid pushing ourselves into states of numbness and/or disrepair too often or it starts to consume us.

Do you push yourself too hard? Do you go beyond your limits to the point you start breaking down physically and/or mentally? Or maybe you don't push yourself hard enough and have found you've been stuck in the same place for most of your life? Do you want to move from where you are in life? Are you content with where and who you are in life? Could you be happier than you are right now?

How hard are you willing to try to be happy? Or is it just easier to feel pain and be pitied/helped all the time maybe? Many of us don't realize that by being resilient to negativity in gener, means we may experience the same/similar pain, but we may not feel hurt by it as much. It becomes a part of our lives that we process, instead of a pain in our butts that we try to get rid of(pardon the pun.)

So why do so many of us give in to the pain? What is it doing to our society? What does a child turn out like when their parents give into every whim and want no matter how self destructive? What are we as a society teaching our children about happiness and where it comes from? Are we teaching them to search for it out in the world, or to look for it within themselves? Are we even teaching them anything at all or is it all just 'monkey see monkey do'? I can't answer that for anyone either, I've not lived the same life.

So, at this point, many of you are probably asking something like 'is there any way around 'pain' without blocking it completely or giving into it then?' Or maybe you already know the answer to that yourself?

If you don't have an answer and/or are looking for some guidance, you're welcome to my perspective/personal experience.. I do believe its possible to move past pain, it's just hard to' 'accomplish' and most people don't like to hear the sometimes harsh honesty along the journey(let alone put in the extra effort to heal in some/severe cases). In saying that, if you're still here and eading and following along, I appreciate the patience, time and effort  you're putting into this, you're doing great, not long now I swear!

A good example was given to me by a family member in regards to blocking vs rehabilitation, I will adapt it to be easier to follow along, but it can be applied across a large number of medical and/or mental illnesses and/or life stresses in general: Let's say you severely hurt your hip, knee and/or back in an accident (or due to RSI.) The Dr can give you meds to temporarily stop/relieve the pain, but unless you go through the effort of physio or rehabilitation, the problem will never really be helped or have the potential to fully heal. In saying that though, sometimes even after going through the extra efforts of physical rehabilitation, you may find the issue still won't be fixed. Usually when this happens you're given the option of medication and/or operation. This is another time where you get to choose to either endure or give in(except in extremely severe cases where a delicate balance of all three is required to yield maximum positive results) Which would you do if you had the choice to stop the pain temporarily for the rest of your life, or endure slightly more pain for a chance to heal for good? In other words.. Would you endure the potential 6months painful bed rest while your stiches/internals heal? Or would you just go get a 'magic pill' that makes your brain think the problems not there until it gets worse again? Which do you think would yeild the most positive results? Just remember, one requires large amounts of patience, resilience and effort, and can possibly heal you for good.. The other is just a quick fix for now until it comes back again, and possibly worse than before..