#I’ve never felt so conflicted about pixel people before

[waspgrave]

Astarion’s is such a wild character bc I actually resent him A Lot thanks to larian’s blatant favoritism of him alongside his fans, but he’s written so well that I love him :/

[osmw1]

Crowbar Nurse   Chapter 18 — Zombie Virus

“Did...did we get it?” Kiryu, who was sitting beside me, managed to get his words in between fits of coughing.

I surveyed the cabin. “Umm, is everyone alright?”

“...All good here,” Kiryu kept coughing.

“Me too, somehow,” Elizabeth chimed in.

“Oh, thank goodness...” It was quite the crash, but we somehow managed to get out of it with only a few cuts and bruises. I knew it was minor, but I just couldn’t help but to grab a handful of herbs from Kiryu’s pockets and jam them into his mouth.

I peered out of the cab window to find the Administrator groaning and motionless on the cold ground. “Looks like good effect on target. I think we can catch You!”

I pulled my head back inside before rappelling down the makeshift bedsheet-rope. The friction burned my hands before I could reach solid ground.

There You was in her unassuming bob cut and peach-colored dress...still hammering away the Administrator with the butt end of an empty gun.

“What are you doing?! Let’s get out of here already!” My screaming didn’t seem to get through to her, leaving me with no choice but to get physical. Unfortunately, she had the upper hand; I was about to wrestle her away but she flung me off. “Boof!”

“Take it easy, Sera! Now that we’ve rendezvoused, couldn’t we just all travel together to some other game? Check the phone!” As always, Kiryu had a practical solution.

“Oh... Yeah, maybe. Hold on, let me check really quick!” I opened the app on my phone, and it left me wide-eyed. It was the exact same as before. “...It’s still gray...”

“What? Why the hell is it still gray? Why can’t we move her somewhere else...?” Kiryu furrowed his brows as he stared at You, who was still thrashing away at the Administrator like a feral beast.

“What...what do we...” I muttered with my head in my phone, but I couldn’t look away. There was something different.

“Is something the matter, Sera?” Elizabeth voiced her concern for me, having noticed I was frozen in place.

“Uh, look at this...” I pointed to the screen. The three of us plus You were in a game titled “??????????????????????????????????????????”. Deadman’s Conflict 3 was no more.

“Wha...—” She crumpled to the ground.

“What? What’s wrong?” Kiryu knocked You out before coming over, before the three of us fell into a silence.

“Do you have any idea what this means, Kiryu?”

“...Not much to go off of. But judging from what’s happening around us, I think something must’ve replaced the world of Deadman’s Conflict 3,” he said as he stared into my phone. “I thought it was weird how the Administrator totally ignored us earlier. Must’ve bugged out or something.”

I took in his words and then looked over at the lump of flesh. The Administrator had already regenerated all the damage it received from the collision. It clambered upright and started tearing apart the world again, like ripping tiles off the floor.

The dark, purplish skybox peeked through the spots of missing background. I wasn’t sure what it exactly was. It seemed like some sort of pixel art, but I knew it was definitively not DC3.

“Crap. The world’s coming apart. Let’s get out of here as quickly as possible,” Kiryu warned.

“Yeah, you’re right...but what about You? I’d like to get her out of here too, but she’s still grayed out.” I trembled as I flickered my gaze at my phone and then back to her.

Elizabeth was observing You as well, and she pointed at her, “Hey, hold on. Look... She’s injured.”

I looked at where she was pointing. On You’s neck was a humanoid bite mark.

Oh no.

Attentive as ever, Kiryu saw me fall into utter despair immediately then looked where I was looking. His look was one of immense pain.

“...This might be a dumb question, Sera, but people turn into zombies when they get bitten here, right?”

“...Yes, they do. Well, no, umm... Like many other games, the player in DC3 doesn’t get infected when bitten by any regular old zombie. I think it’s different story with the sequels, but getting bit in this game shouldn’t zombify the player.”

“So, there’s a chance that You hadn’t been infected by the bite then?”

“...I’m afraid not. That bite mark looks to be from a special infected, never mind the whole being grayed out and unable to travel out of this world thing. She must’ve been bitten in the story event.”

“What do you mean?”

“In the middle of the game, there’s a fight where the protagonist gets infected with the zombie virus and then has 24 hours to find the vaccine. If not, then the protagonist gets turned into a zombie.

I’m thinking that’s what happened to her. She must’ve triggered the ending before managing to find the vaccine. That’s something that can happen in the game as well.”

“Argh,” he spat out his frustration, “the road we came from got blasted all to hell by the missiles, so no turning back for the vaccine either. If we can’t save You and we can’t move her out of game, then...I don’t think there’s much we can do for her at all…” He followed up with a deep sigh.

You’s breathing was rough as she fell into a coma. Kiryu could only silently shake his head at the sight. “…We’re out of time, Sera. Let’s leave this game before it’s too late for us.”

I turned to Kiryu’s somber face. I felt the need to say something—anything at all—but I had no words. I looked at the Administrator who was still peeling away at the backdrop before finally checking the Vital Watch. There was no telling whether the thermobaric missile ending had been canceled or not. And if not, we would have less than 20 minutes before reduced into a fine mist.

“…Kiryu. Elizabeth. You two should leave for the dating sim world,” I pleaded.

Kiryu looked as though he detested the idea.

Neither was Elizabeth accepting of it, asking, “What are you planning to do?”

“I’m…going to make my way back to two levels ago, go to the pharmacy, and get this drug called Zombinal.”

“The name suggests otherwise, but I’m guessing Zombinal is the vaccine?”

As I responded “Yes,” Kiryu delicately lifted up my wrist to check the Vital Watch on my forearm.

“Let’s see… You’ve got 20 minutes until the bombs drop. You’re making the trip only because you know you’ll make it back, I presume?”

“I...should make it back.”

“What you’re saying is that there’s no chance in hell.”

“…”

“…You’re going to throw your life away like that?” His question was sober.

I bit my lip unawares before responding, “…It’ll be fine, Kiryu. I’ve made sure that you and Elizabeth will get away safely, even if I were to die. There’s nothing you two need to worry about.”

“That’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking if you’re planning to throw your life away.”

“…I know I’m being selfish,” I said as I looked up from the Vital watch and locked eyes with Kiryu. “I’ve always wanted to be a nurse—a public health nurse—because I’ve seen too many people mourning their loved ones when a simple vaccine could have prevented all the suffering. If only I could prevent those cases… You know?”

Kiryu listened in silence as I strung together the words in my mind. His facial expression did all the talking—he understood of my feelings, yet he was telling me to save myself.

I understood him back completely fine, but still I shook my head. “I started on this career path hoping to save just one life, to prevent just one grieving person in this world. I might have forgotten why because of my bullshit working conditions, but I know I’d never forgive myself if I were to give up on You. I can’t let go of this.”

“…I see. I never knew how serious you are about being a nurse,” he replied with a sigh.

“Not just any nurse—a public health nurse! I studied real hard to get my license, you know?” I pouted.

“No offense, but I don’t think your average Joe has any clue what the difference between the two are,” Kiryu quipped as he pokes at the phone in my hand before continuing, “And Elizabeth…”

“Umm… Yes?” Elizabeth flinched when he suddenly called out to her.

“Unlike Sera, you actually properly play your otome games, right? Of all the ones we can jump to, which one do you reckon would be the safest?”

“Uh, umm… The safest world would likely be Mabataki Academy Memorial. The game is set in modern day and it features the least combat in its series,” she points to one of the games listed in my phone.

“Alright. Elizabeth, then that’s where you’re going. It’d be dangerous for you to stay here any longer, seeing how you’re not much of a fighter.”

“…Okay. I’ll conquer the world of Mabataki for us.”

“‘Conquer,’ huh? It sure sounds like a peaceful time.” My sarcasm didn’t detract from Elizabeth’s determination.

“It won’t be. Look—there’s already two people there,” she pointed to the screen. Elizabeth looked worried for a few seconds, before finding her seriousness again.

“…Look. I haven’t brought it up until now, but only in-game items have been replenishing here—items like weapons and equipment that we can normally purchase from shops. But background objects, like food or bottles of water? Those don’t respawn when we take them out of the supermarket.

So it would only be natural that people fight over a device that let them move between worlds. Do you see what I mean?”

“You’re saying sustenance and survival comes into play too. That’d be a reason that people would kill each other for if things take a turn for the worse.”

“The fewer the mouths to feed, the more food there is to go around. It’s been on my mind this whole time...but I couldn’t find the courage to tell you two. I’m sorry.”

“But you just did, so thank you,” I said to Elizabeth with a warm smile. She had her face turned away in fear of how we would react. I could tell that deep down she was inherently a good person.

“Hey, Elizabeth?”

“…What do you want?”

“When you get inside Mabataki, don’t worry about conquering it or anything, okay? Just do whatever you can to survive for, like, twenty—no, fifteen minutes. After that, you’ll know whether I manage to catch up to you two or whether you’ll return to the real world without me.

And I know you’re not one for violence. I could tell by the way you held that rifle in your hands that it didn’t sit quite right with you. Don’t force yourself to fight.”

With tears in her eyes, Elizabeth opened her mouth to say something, but her anxiety was holding her back. She finally found her words and told me, “…I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t go dying on me!”

“Of course not. We’ll get out together,” I agreed with a smile before returning my focus to my phone. It was my first time on this app, but it wasn’t anything too hard to figure out. Elizabeth disappeared before my very eyes the instant I tapped the OK button.

Damn. I really just teleported her.

“Your turn now, Kiryu.”

As I was about to send him to another world, Kiryu forcefully snatched the phone out of my hands.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Which way is it?”

“…huh?”

“Which was is the vaccine?” Kiryu asked, as he stuffed my phone into one of his pockets.

I pointed towards the direction of the medicine, as if his calm yet firm voice compelled me to do so. “T-The door there…it’s all bombed out of shape. But it’s not a destructible object in the game, so I’m not sure how we’ll find our way back…”

Almost instantaneously did Kiryu quickly step towards the metal doors to mow them down with his crowbar.

“Wha…” I was flabbergasted when I saw the doors creaked and bent back open. What the hell is he capable of…?

“I thought I told you already. I’m not about to let you die.”

I had no answer for him.

“Why do you look so surprised? You were the one ripped the “KEEP OUT” tape apart in the beginning. Showed that it doesn’t make a lick of difference whether the environment is supposed to be destructible or not.

I’ll throw You over my shoulder and we’ll march back with the remnants of our troops. Let’s go get that vaccine.”

■Vaccine

While they are normally to prevent disease, there are also vaccines effective after exposure to the pathogen. For example, with post-exposure prophylaxis for rabies, it can be effective when taken generally within 24 hours of exposure to the virus and prior to onset (though it is not useful after onset.)

In the game, the definition of “vaccine” is ambiguous and the workings of the zombie virus vaccine are vague. The effects of the vaccine also change if it is taken in a cutscene versus in-game.

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[winterromanov]

Prompt idea: AU meeting Bucky on a flight back to nyc, hitting it off but neither has the guts to ask for #s and regret it, but they run into each other later

pairing: bucky x reader

You’d made it to your terminal with minutes to spare. Your chest is heaving from violently running from one part of LAX to the other, dragging your broken, three-wheeled suitcase lamely behind you. Nevertheless--you make it, passport and boarding pass between your teeth, sweat pooling in the small of your back. You don’t run, you absolutely don’t run, but you make an exception for the two hundred and fifty dollars you’d spent on this flight back to JFK. And the wages you would otherwise miss if you didn’t make it back to New York City tonight.

Relief flooding you, you quickly join the back of the queue heading out onto the plane. You manically check your passport, hoping you’d not managed to drop something on the way over. Because that would just be typical you, wouldn’t it? 

“That is some impeccable timing you’ve got there.”

You look up from your frantic scanning of essential documents and see a man--also travelling alone, by the looks of it, the space between him and the couple in front too wide to be friends or relatives--his grin teasing and light. If you weren’t sweating enough already, the gaze of this man would probably do it. Blue eyes, tired from travel, maybe. Dark hair. Very pretty. Extremely pretty.

You attempt to pull yourself together, throwing him a slightly flustered smile back. The queue moves gradually forwards and you tug your unwieldy suitcase forward, grimacing as it squeaks loudly linoleum. “Let’s say that punctuality is not one of my strong suites.”

The man rubs his eyes in exhaustion. “And let’s say that I’m the exact opposite.”

“You’re one of those people who arrives at departures like seven hours early, huh?”

“Eight.” He smiles, and you notice his hand luggage is a neat little backpack, unlike your ten-year-old faithful monster half-broken at your feet. “Need to leave plenty of time for duty free, you know?”

He’s not holding any paper bags from the expensive cosmetics counters, no cut price bottles of wine, not even any snacks. Not a shopaholic, just anxious. You’re flustered, late, but not unobservant, even of strangers. “I mean, I wouldn’t. As much as the bargain Chanel was calling my name, I did literally just sprint here. I think my sister thinks I’m insane.”

His expression is tongue-in-cheek. “Not just your sister.”

“That’s a brave statement from someone I’ve just met.” You run a hand through your mussed-up hair in an attempt to tame it, not helped by the humid LA heat. Attractive man is talking to you, after all. That doesn’t happen so often. “You always like that?”

“Not always,” he says, but his sentence is cut short as he reaches the front of the queue and hands one of the stewardesses his boarding pass and passport. You jerk your bag off to the side to the second open desk, letting another go through your documents, but by the time you’re finished (as always, the lady seems to scrutinise every pixel in your photograph--your misjudged bangs from three years ago don’t make you look that different, surely) the gentle, teasing man has gone.

-

The air hostess directs you to your seat at the back of the plane and you find you’re in one of the sections to the right, not really looking at the other passengers as you try to find row F. When you eventually find where you’re supposed to remain for the duration of the flight, you blink in surprise.

“Mad girl,” To his credit, the man looks just as surprised at the coincidence as you do, looking away from the phone in his hand. “You sitting here too?”

“Yeah.” You half smile, struggling to stuff your bag in the overhead locker. He clambers out to help but you manage to squeeze it, wedge it in between his backpack and the lady in front’s briefcase. “And for the record, my punctuality aside, I’m not actually insane. Probably more verging along the lines of ridiculously ordinary.”

“I happen to think that ordinary is a myth,” he replies, subtly scanning your figure as you slide into the seat beside him. He has a copy of McEwan’s Atonement on his open tray, dog-eared and yellowed, perhaps borrowed from a friend. “Never met anyone ordinary in my life.”

“You might have to take that back after spending five and a half hours in my company.”

His glance is bemused as he shifts the headphones looped round his neck--you can hear faint conversation, listening to an audiobook or podcast of some sort. “I’m Bucky, by the way. Well. James. But everyone calls me Bucky.”

“(Y/N),” you offer in return, “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

-

It’s funny, because not once in the many years you’ve been old and responsible enough to travel alone has anyone engaged in as much conversation with you. For someone clearly so anxious about flying Bucky is open and friendly and funny and you think, maybe this is his coping mechanism. Then again--you can feel something lingering below the surface, something that makes you feel that you’re actually getting on, that you could have met in any place in any town and felt exactly the same. He asks about your family and you ask about his. Apparently he was in LA because his little sister is at film school and crippled by homesickness, so his body in her apartment for a few days made her feel a little less alone, a little less far away. He knows you’re a photographer, spending the last six days taking pictures for a client’s wedding on Venice Beach.

A couple of hours into the flight you begin to scroll through movies on the screens in the back of the seat, discussing the ones you both have or haven’t seen. He likes everything other than films about space--they give him existential horror--and you’re a bit wary around anything scary, so his finger hovers over Paddington 2.

“Surely a film about a well-mannered bear with a British accent can’t cause any problems,” he says, offering one of the headphones he’s plugged in between the seats. He wants you to watch a movie with him. Literally with him. 

Well. You’re not going to say no. You take the ear-bud and pop it in, easing back into your chair, the film entertaining but his bright facial expressions even more so.

-

He tenses as the plane lands, his knuckles white round the arms of his seat. You wonder if it would be cool to splay your hand over his own, squeezing it in an attempt to calm his nerves. But you don’t know him, really. You don’t know him well enough to do that. And you wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

So you lay back, close your eyes, feeling just a bit ridiculous as a vacuum opens in your stomach.

-

You’re tempted to ask him for his number as you make your way to the luggage carousel, walking in step with him. Instead you’re both enveloped in silence. Instead of actually, you know, fucking saying anything, you spend so much time trying to consider the words rather than biting the bullet and just doing it. Your lack of punctuality doesn’t just extend to your inability to make it anywhere until the last minute. 

You often don’t say things until it’s too late, too.

“Have you got anyone waiting for you at arrivals?” he asks, pulling a cap from inside his bag over his head. The airport is packed, as usual, and you keep getting thrown around by tourists in sunhats and rushing businessmen. His hands grip round your shoulders to steady you immediately, towering above you.

You like him. You like him you like him you like him.

“Nope,” you reply, and a curious look passes over his face. The luggage carousel is in view and yours comes by but Bucky reaches out first, placing it down next to you. His doesn’t come long after. “What about you?”

“Nah. We could share a cab, if you want?” You usher out in the main entrance where you can see the black 11pm sky, hazy with the artificial orange from the lights in the city. “I never asked. Which part of the city are you from?”

“Queens.”

“Ah,” he grimaces, “I’m Brooklyn. That’s quite the distance.”

“In opposite directions.” You wonder if you visibly sink, melting between the tiles on the floor. “It’s cool, I was going to get the subway anyway.”

“We could go Queens first, I don’t mind--”

There looks to be hundreds of cabs lined up outside along the entrances, people piling in and out and journeying back into the city. You’re stood opposite each other and he’s looking down at you, face conflicted, but you know it’s stupid for him to share a car with you all the way to Queens only to have to spend even longer to get back to his own place.

Just ask him for his number, you fucking moron. This doesn’t have to be the end.

Your mouth opens, the vowels and the consonants on the edge of your tongue but again. Again your words fail to come, trailing behind you like your dumbass suitcase with its missing wheel. “No, it’s okay. I’ll get the train.”

“I...” Bucky starts, and for a moment you think he’s going to be the one who asks. The one who says he doesn’t want this to be the first and only time you meet. But it’s just your luck you meet someone almost as useless about these things as you are. “I guess I’ll see you?”

“Yeah.” You swallow hard. “See you.”

He looks over you desperately for a second, wondering if he might touch you. A goodbye squeeze of the shoulder, maybe a hug, but instead he rests his arms at his sides and gives you one last sweet smile before heading into a cab. You wait until his cab disappears before you decide to move. You can’t bring yourself to do so until then.

-

As soon as you get back to your apartment you face plant your pillow and scream into the fabric for at least five minutes.

-

The months pass quickly as they always seem to do and while Bucky stays in the back of your mind--mainly because every other man you meet is nowhere near as attractive as him, physically or otherwise--you don’t let it weigh you down. You know the possibility of ever meeting him again are next-to-nothing, and who the fuck spends their time pining after a man they met once on a plane? You’re often quite pathetic, but not that pathetic.

It’s July when you’re contacted to photograph the wedding of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts out in the country, the weather warm and the sky faultless blue. An old, crumbling manor house serves as the perfect backdrop for the big day, the ceremony itself held in the grassy, wildflower-adorned grounds in front of the porch. You follow around the staff as they prepare in a dusty pink summer dress, snapping some photographs of the exterior before the guests arrive for the vows. Eventually, you trail into the kitchen, hoping to get some pictures of the cake before it is cut and distributed out.

It’s then--it’s then you hear a familiar voice, shouting for the head caterer.

“Hey, I was just checking that--” 

He pauses when his eyes settle on you. You almost drop your incredibly expensive camera into a bowl of flan.

“(Y/N)?” James says, mouth swinging open like a door on a loose hinge, “Jesus. I didn’t...”

“I’m the photographer,” you reply, like it isn’t obvious. You’re just surprised. “I’m Tony and Pepper’s photographer.”

He blinks. “I’m a friend of Tony’s. My God. Fate was really smiling on me today, huh?”

You grin is borderline ridiculous. “I think maybe she was.”

-

He writes his number on his reservation card with Natasha Romanoff’s lipstick. The night is in full swing. Everyone is either drunk or dancing. Mostly both.

“Not letting you go this time, mad girl,” he says, his body coming closer and closer to yours until your barely centimetres apart, your breathes hanging heavy. His number is pressed into your palm. “I think I’ve been hitting my head against my bedroom wall every single day since I got into that darn cab. My landlord is going to be suing me for damages.”

You bite your lip, clutching your camera. “And I’m being a really bad photographer right now.”

“Oh, come on, no-one will notice. I know for a fact Tony’s finished almost a whole bottle of Scotch.” His smile is almost shy. “Why can’t I stop thinking about you?”

“No idea.” You shrug, but your eyes remain focused on his. “I think I mentioned there is absolutely nothing remarkable about me, Bucky.”

“And I think I mentioned that I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t remarkable.” His hand finds yours and you let your fingers relax in his grip, curl round them. “Dance?”

You should be taking pictures. You should be doing your job. But there is a handsome man in front of you with a smile that could make the sun rise and put the whole fucking night sky to shame. There is a man in front of you who you watched leave once already. There is a man in front of you who wants to dance, who wrote down his number in Chanel Rouge Allure, who has spent the last six months with you hidden in his dreams and a dent in his wall as a receipt.

You can’t not dance with him.

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[nonchalantsanders]

Back at it with my terrible Predictions but maybe this time they won't be so bad because we have a trailer and that's never happened before

I've been making these prediction posts for a few years now, I think I've yet to get anything right, but that's because I keep bringing up Roman's arc and Deceit's "redemption" (read: acceptance)/name reveal. I don’t think as far as personal arcs go, not too much is going to be resolved. After DWIT tensions were increased everywhere expect with Logan. Roman was upset, Patton felt guilty, and Virgil felt Extra Guilty enough to the point of telling Thomas that he used to be a Dark Side. Logan left at what I think is his peak at the end of the most recent episode as Thomas properly acknowledge how helpful and “cool” he is. Everyone else on the other hand... they’re a mess, and so is this post. I just kinda streamlined my thoughts so this isn’t an organized list like I usually do. All of my thoughts are intertwined into this one idea that Roman is going to be extremely Not Okay At All and how that is going to impact the story and character interaction. It has a lot to do with Deceit and Patton, obviously. A lot of these ideas are very orignially, but they make sense to me. If they don’t make sense to you, call me out on it!

Remus was introduced intentionally between SvS parts 1 and 2 because at the end of part 1, NOBODY was listening to what Deceit was actually trying to say. The other sides and Thomas aren’t acknowledging him as the self-preservation he actually is. Since Deceit was being completely disregarded he said “there are smarter ways to get people to do what you want anyways,” then enter Remus. SvS pt 1 had a whole lot to do with Roman and Patton as they both represent the assest of Thomas that serve a purpose in attending the Callback and attending the Wedding. In the trailer, Roman, Patton, and Thomas are the ONLY characters shown. AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE to see some conflict from where we left Virgil, I’m not counting on the other sides being too present. I think this is going to be a “Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning” style Roman vs Patton post wedding reception. 

Something has to have gone terribly wrong for Thomas to say “What the F*ck, Everybody” in place of the usualy “What is up, everybody?” I really like the wrong date idea that people tossed around back in March. If the day of the wedding was wrong and Thomas missed/cancelled his callback, that would warrant the exteremly emotional and angered tone shown in the trailer. AND IF this is the case, that would have a lot to do with Logan that doesn’t make sense. Logan is always correcting the others, especially Deciet. If Logan also messed up the Wedding date, that would explain why the callback was in his calendar without Deceit tampering with the evidence, but it also leads to me to ask why the wedding wasn’t visible on Logan’s calendar at all. Logan is very proud of how organized he is and what infinitesimal amount of mistakes he’s made has really stuck with him. Logan wouldn’t have just let the others believe the events were actually conflicting unless he has something to gain from them fighting. Logan is fairly morally gray when emotions are involved and he uses his reason to explain that Thomas has more to lose if he misses the wedding and he also has more to gain by attending the callback. Deciet’s distinction between the two was used to prove his point, but is also demonstrates that Logan as a side really doesn’t have anything to contribute in this discussion. IF the wrong date theory is right, than Logan may have a bigger role in the discussion with Patton and Roman, but I don’t think it’s likely that he would make that big of a mistake.

As for what else may be the main conflict, it likely has to do with the shadow figure in the pixel art. Maybe the ex boyfriend from Moving On? Who were the sides that were particularly invested in Moving On? Roman and Patton. With help from Virgil, these boys are the most emotional and fragile, but they are also the most In Sync. They are always supporting each other (Designing sweaters together, bouncing puns off each other, and Patton taking care of Roman after flopping the audition TO NAME A FEW) and they’ve never really clashed before. The only instance I could think of was in Moving On, when Roman suggested texting the ex that it was an accidental buttdial and Patton immediately shuts it down saying “Lying is wrong” (more on that in a moment). Roman goes Big Stupid when boys are involved and I think if there were to be any reason that he and Patton would fight, I think it would be about Patton endlessly trying to prove Thomas’s selflessness as he tries to make him a “better person” while Roman is defending what is labelled as “selfishness” while trying to obtain accolades or true love. 

Jumping back to the lying bit: Roman is okay with lying. He makes this clear in ‘Can Lying Be Good:’ “Well there goes the acting profession. I mean never lying at all?” Even though Logan makes the distinction between acting and lying, Roman doesn’t seem to see the difference as he is the only other side to continously bring up using excuses as a means to help Thomas (the butt dial, aunt patty in the hospital, etc.). After the introduction of Remus, and skipping the callback, Roman is probably the most fragile of all of them (Virgil is probably a close second) and knowing that he wanted Deceit to win the trial probably makes him feel worse because Deceit is the “bad guy” and a “dark side.” It’s probably devastating to him that he wanted to side with Deceit which is why he forced Thomas to go to the Wedding. In a way, Roman also has experience with self-preservation but only this instance is at his own expense. The difference between Deceit and Roman’s self-perservation is the Deceit believes his actions are for the best of everyone while Roman doesn’t want the others to think that he’s selfish so he “denies his purpose” in order to do so. ADDITIONALLY, at the end of DWIT, after Roman woke up, he said that he came to a realization bUT THEN HE NEVER STATD WHAT THAT REALIZATION WAS! He’s afraid of Remus because Remus is everything that Roman doesn’t want to be and the whole point of introducing Remus was to get to Roman as per Deceit’s agenda. What Deceit wants from Roman is obvious: to stop forcing himself to act selfless like Patton would prefer him to. 

I’ve been talking about Roman’s arc for 5ever because since Virgil’s redemption, he hasn’t really, fully, completely been okay. A brief list:

Lowering his guards and biting his pride to help Virgil, a dark side

Making Thomas hurt months after a breakup and causing trouble for Patton

Writing a bad line for Virgil and his excuse was: “I have a lot going on right now!”

The line “I feel so used” at the end of ‘Can Lying Be Good.’

“Roman, you dunce! You’ve made a joke, and now they’ll think that everthing’s fine!”

And let’s not forget Deceit catching him in a lie, calling him out for denying his purpose as one of Thomas’s sides, and purposfully releasing Remus in the wild probaly knowing that Remus was going to smack Roman upside the head with a mace the first chance he got as well as serve as painful reminder to Roman that his purpose isn’t being Thomas’ creativty because someone else also serves that purpose. I think the introduction of Remus serves as a reminder the Roman that he is NOT exclusively Thomas’ Creativity and that Roman needs to emphasize his role as Thomas’ aspirations more. AND THAT brings me full circle as to why it has to be and why it’s so important that Roman is fighting as Thomas’s selfishness. These weren’t really predictions so much as they were speculations and observations, but I’m honestly just writing this to feel productive because I have 3 final exam papers due in a week and I haven’t touched any of them yet whoops!

tldr: Roman is big sad and big gay. He’s been denying his purpose in order to have his Best Friend’s (Patton’s) approval for not contributing towards BadPerson!Thomas. SvS pt 2 as Roman vs Patton is so important because the introduction of Remus made Roman come to this realization. 

[discoursecatharsis]

Below is a submission from someone who wishes to stay anonymous:

i’m kind of just writing this on the fly but idk i think….i should request this to be anon because even tho i don’t use tumblr anymore i can feel that my submission would attract antis

i’m naturally incredibly solitary and drifted away from fandom and shipping content near the end of my teen years simply because fandom stuff lost my interest as depression and whatnot intensified, but now i’m back and consuming such content as life becomes a lot easier for me, and just…. i really enjoy problematic content as a teen (and still do at 23 years old) and was super chill, but i feet like i was nearly brainwashed by anti rhetoric over the years that i’ve seen on social media and what good friends have said. But something in me hung on for dear life and after taking some time away from all of my friends to finish up college during this pand//emic and i’m just consuming content on a private twitter and seeing the stuff that’s like “yo antis are bad” I finally….got why I felt so upset seeing stuff that said antis are bad. Like something in me just didn’t sit right. It’s because I was suffering from a massive case of cognitive dissonance. And when I allowed myself to recognize that, I felt geniune freedom. That I was chaining myself down in order to avoid conflict and ridicule according to the oddly pure standards suddenly set up by netizens. Even when I mentally complained about seeing such content about “antis are bad” and considering it a pain I’d still treat myself to a n//onc//on doujin or inc*st or gu///ro or body fluids or some heartbreaking shit because I love "problematic content", but was trying to divorce the fact it was problematic from the morals and ethics that were being beaten into my brain by friends and twitter because my friends are all like “inc*st? und*ra*e? ewww eletric chair” because I wanted to appease them. Because I’m super kind, supportive, and sugary when I interact with others because I’m naturally a supportive, kind person and that doesn’t reflect my tastes and I don’t want to deal with someone feeling like I “betrayed” them for hiding that stuff. I’m nervous about how I’m soft, aesthetic flower mom-vibe support main with everyone I interact with, and that IS me, but me is also a problematic content-loving bdsm fanatic and not many people know that lmao. And I get nervous that me being into s/m will be some sort of ammo for why I like the fiction I do and that I’m some sort of liar. Hell, I’m even scared to even admit to a few people I’m into s/m because of the odd anti-bdsm sentiment going on as of late. I thought being able to not be vanilla was in. Like I’d be like “yeah!! gross for inc*st and shit hahaha” with friends watching them dunk on users while watching Toilet-bound Hanako-kun in private and being like “fuck they’re all so cute oh God Hanako….” I was even nervous to mention to my best friend of eight years (!!!!) that I was watching it because it’s also visually a treat because it’s like…obvious sh*ta bait. And I fuckin love it. Meanwhile I find it literally impossible to be into people younger than me irl, even if they’re a year younger, as I see them as babies who need to be protected and educated but I still feel terrified of being considered a creep for liking und//erag///e content but will fight a predator on sight irl and was even nearly groomed at 16 by a 22 year old from tumblr whose name and url I will never, ever forget. Hell, I felt justice knowing that I wasn’t alone in him being a fuckin creeper and years later after blocking him found a callout post on tumblr for him being a predator. I understand how it can be irl and will never condone it irl, but even then my brain just fries because anxiety. Because someone will still insist I’m a fuckin creep. And as someone who grew up during the Wild Wild West of shipping and fandoms when “don’t like, don’t read,” crack ships, and pwp were still referred to with citrus terms, I miss it? I’ve always missed it. I miss the fact that we could enjoy problematic content and know that it’s nice to enjoy such content in a medium that will never affect reality as much as people says it will. That it was ok to enjoy wild shit because we knew at the end of the day that we shouldn’t be stupid and mirror it irl. I miss when having a crush on a fictional character was ok, no matter the age. I’ve been into Riku from Kingdom Hearts before I could even multiply and now I’m sitting here writing research papers on the reasons why Hollywood’s racist. I’ve been into that boy for a long ass time. But he’ll never age at an irl rate and it still stresses me out because I’m scared to be open with that crush because he’s fictional and I’m scared that some anti will go “you’re an adult, get over him” when he was my fuckin sexual awakening lmao. I remember talking to my best friend about me having to even justify my crush on Joker from P//ersona 5 because he ages, but I don’t. Why do I have to suffer like this over some pixels on a screen? Like I’m at a crossroads because idk if i should be upfront with my best friend or just…enjoy such content on my private twitter and see what happens with the few people I’m mutuals with on it.  Like problematic fiction is soothing to me, no matter the degree of problematic. I don’t know why, it just is. But idk how to relay that to my friends and I feel like I should just deal with the inevitable fact that I’ll weaken my bonds because I’m not a fountain of vanilla ice cream with sprinkles on top. But I want to embrace that again because even my earliest fuckin desires weren’t vanilla. Romantic? Sure. But vanilla? As if. idk i’m just…i haven’t touched fandom like that in nearly a decade and now that i’m back i just have so many feelings. my apologies for the novella.

---

Thank you so much for sharing and submitting this. I sympathize with you reminiscing on how fandom was. I hope whatever decision you decide to make at your crossroads, that it’ll be a good, positive outcome! <3

[clansayeed]

Bound by Destiny ― Chapter 21: The Victor

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny ⥽

Nadya Al Jamil (MC) has been struggling from the day she moved to Manhattan, but her new job as assistant to the mysterious CEO of Raines Corp was supposed to turn her luck around. Until she finds herself caught in the middle of a war involving the Council of Vampires who secretly run the city. An evil from the birth of Vampire-kind stirs beneath, feeding on the conflict, and finds Nadya bound to a destiny she never asked for.

Bound by Destiny and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

The mastermind behind the attack at the Ball is revealed. The Council enters the 21st century.

[READ IT ON AO3]

“What is the meaning of this?!”

“You claim to be innocent yet where you go these wretched abominations follow!”

“What— do you really think —!”

“Save the blame for later! Kill the thing! Nadya — get out of here!”

She doesn’t want to leave them behind. Not again, we’re not that lucky, her deepest fears scream. But Kamilah isn’t having it — pushes her back towards where they came with a vampire’s strength that makes her stumble to catch her feet.

Nadya hooks her fingers on the doorway and dares a look back.

It’s one Feral versus four vampires. Three of which are over two thousand years old. She isn’t surprised that the attack is over before it really begins — watches Isseya and Kamilah grasp it’s skeletal arms from behind and pull until she hears something break underneath the skin even far away.

Then two more writhing beasts enter; push over each other in their haste to consume, devour.

“KAM—!”

The rest of her scream falls flat. Drowned in a palm against her mouth. A strong arm grasps her from behind and yanks Nadya sharply back against a figure of hard stone.

Nadya looks up into the face of her attacker and screams.

“Now now, Miss Al Jamil,” croons Vega with fangs and fury, “let’s leave them to it. You and I have a polite conversation to finish — elsewhere.”

Before she can attempt another futile scream he whisks her into the museum’s depths.

There’s a fire in her lungs. No — not a fire — an inferno.

Nadya stumbles over a curled edge of a floor rug. Manages to catch herself before she can fall and pushes her screaming limbs against their protests to carry her further through the stacks of the Musea Sanguis.

“Ooh, that looked like it hurt. But good save, Miss Al Jamil! Good save indeed!”

Vega’s laugh taunts her — echoes off the walls and on every shelf she passes.

He’s getting his rocks off; he has from the moment she wrenched herself free of him and took off in an unknown direction. Anywhere, literally anywhere, was better than in the clutches of a man like him.

She knows he can smell her fear. Taste her blood on the tip of his tongue. Hear every raggedy breath she takes and the thudding of her racing footsteps. He’s just giving her a bit of time before killing her.

He wants it to last.

It’s like playing cat and mouse. If the cat were actually a highly-intelligent tiger and the mouse was missing its front paws.

Nadya rounds a stack and presses herself against it — holds her breath until she goes red in the face and the biological will to survive takes over and forces her to inhale. Sweat beads in thick teardrops down her face; into her eyes — makes it impossible to see through the salty sting.

She presses her knuckles into them until it feels like her eyeballs might pop. Blinks away the stars in her vision…

Vega grins down at her not an inch away.

“Boo.”

He could reach out to snatch her but doesn’t. Nadya feels the give of his body as she shoves him back on instinct and resumes her flight towards freedom.

Vega inhales with the whole of his chest and lets out another bellowing laugh.

“Divine — simply divine! I had no idea how much I missed this — the hunt, the chase, the capture! Run, girl, run!”

Nothing looks familiar. Nadya can’t tell if she’s just gone in a large square or somehow put herself in a different part of the museum altogether. If she’d been able to keep her eyes open when Vega stole her away… if she’d just tried to fight harder maybe.

But those negative thoughts don’t blend well with the headache pushing its way back between her temples. It’s not a real reason to stop thinking them but if it works; it works.

She just has to get back to Kamilah and Adrian. Or keep running long enough for them to find her. She just has to hold on.

A left, a right, then another right and Nadya’s suddenly a sitting duck; standing in the middle of the shelves with a dim crystal chandelier gathering dust overhead. Even if she could hear anything over the blood pounding in her chest she doubts Vega would let his steps make any sound.

Fuck.

In her moment of panic Nadya does the first rational thing that comes to mind: takes a page out of Lily’s book (not that Lily has spent much time on the run from evil villains in real life… that she’s aware of) and tries to think of what she’d do if this weren’t an actual life-or-death situation but instead was just another messy video game filled to the brim with pixels of blood.

There aren’t any health potions in sight. She doesn’t have a transparent map of the Musea overhead guiding her. But if she tries really hard Nadya’s pretty sure she can imagine daunting chase music on a loop in the background.

Breathe Nadi’, breathe.

The imagined echo of Lily in her head is giving some great advice. Makes Nadya stop, focus, and breathe.

“A vampire is never unarmed. Find a weapon of your own.”

Something catches the light out of the corner of her eye. Nadya turns and — really can’t believe her luck — gives an audible sigh of relief at the sight of a sword propped up on display in the middle of the path. Held aloft on a podium by two silver brackets carved to in the shape of bird claws and just underneath shorter shelves packed to the brim with tightly-wound scrolls.

She’s an inch away from grabbing the jewel-encrusted hilt when the smallest thread of common sense kicks into overdrive.

That voice did not sound like Lily — not at all.

But… it wasn’t wrong. Right? Vega’s got centuries on her; the strength to snap her like a twig and fangs that would cut through her flesh like butter.

So Nadya takes the sword in hand — in both hands when she struggles with the weight of it; definitely different than Jax’s katana — and tells herself repeatedly that she’s not listening to the feeble croaking horror-movie voice that’s decided to make itself comfortable in her head.

Too many people are doing that lately; chilling out in her noggin like it’s a hostel or a Brooklyn bed’n’breakfast. Only the freeloaders aren’t welcome and definitely aren’t paying rent.

In the distance Nadya spots a familiar ruined archway and sobs in relief.

But she’s not even two steps forward when Vega emerges from a row with feigned surprise. Though it turns real at the weapon she has in hand.

Only he laughs at it; doesn’t see a desperate life with a sword but rather a child with a stick. “What exactly are you planning on doing with that,” he croons, “besides dragging it around like dead weight? Do you even know how to use it?”

Nadya’s own ferocity surprises her. “I think ‘stick the asshole with the sharp end’ is pretty straightforward.”

She holds the weapon between them but Vega steps forward unperturbed.

“I’d applaud your effort if it weren’t so useless. You’ve never used a weapon like that in your life — that much is painfully obvious.” He stops Nadya from raising the blade higher with nothing more than the tip of his finger holding it steady. “In fact I rather doubt you’ll use it now.”

“You’d be mistaken.”

“Then prove it.”

He’s called her bluff. Already her arms start shaking with broadsword’s weight; teeth grit in focus.

“Go on,” he jeers again, “prove yourself. Not to me — I couldn’t care less about one more sack of blood. Yet despite your fragility you’ve managed to enchant Raines — though I can’t say I’m surprised — and Sayeed.”

“Dude—seriously—shut up.”

“Run him through. Or cut out his tongue for his insolence. But I should think you aren’t quite ready for that kind of violence yet.”

Vega can’t hear the voice in her head; continues on, “There’s nothing impressive about you. Unless I’m missing the obvious.”

“Never underestimate an opponent. Show him his mistake.”

“You shouldn’t underestimate me…” Her voice wavers. Makes Vega bark a laugh.

“When there is so little to underestimate as it is?”

“Do it. Run him through.”

“Perhaps there’s a delicacy to you I’ve overlooked. They’ve tasted you; Raines and Sayeed. Haven’t they?”

“Do it. Do it now!”

Vega stalks closer; practically presses the sword into himself.

“Maybe I’ll see what I’m missing…”

“Stop! Stay away from me!”

“Do it! Do it!”

She’d like to say fear, panic, and a sudden courage she didn’t know she had made her do it; made her swing the sword. But being honest with herself… Nadya isn’t so sure it wasn’t the voice compelling her into action.

If only it could compel her into some talent, too.

The sword swings in a half-arc; wrenches up and away from Vega and tries to carry Nadya along with its weight. But she holds fast. Pants every breath like she’s just run the breadth of Manhattan Island.

Vega stands before her impossibly still. A drop of crimson running down the slit in his cheek like a coppery teardrop. Even though the wound heals the evidence remains.

“A disgrace,” the voice comments in her thoughts, “though you managed to wound him nonetheless.”

And yes; war is still terrible and weapons are still terrible and whether it’s a club or a sword or a gun she still is against the violence in the world. But wow did that feel good. It felt freeing.

It felt empowering.

Vega, however, doesn’t seem to think so. Instead he looks like he’s done playing games. Upper lip curling back in a savage snarl.

“Run.”

Nadya flings the sword at Vega in a panic — if she lives through this she’ll call herself names later for that move — and flees.

The hunt resumes. This time pure adrenaline and hunger. He kept to the edge of catching her for his entertainment before but she knows that all it will take is one grab of his hand and that’s it. Game over.

“Turn.”

She’s not listening to the voice — turning just happens to be a good idea. Not running into a dead end is a very good idea; a very very good idea.

“Turn again. Double back.”

What? Hell no. But there’s a heavy thud beside her and Nadya rounds on the other side of the bookshelf just in time to avoid Vega’s wicked grasp and a tidal wave of tomes fall on thin air instead.

So… maybe she’s just going to take directions from her unconscious. Better safe than sorry. Especially when sorry really means dead.

Nadya doesn’t break pace — turns when she’s told and hides behind this canvas and that display. Like there’s an omniscient watcher on high (she chances a look up at the rafters but sees only shadow) helping her navigate the labyrinth.

Only it takes her a moment to realize she’s not being led to freedom or safety. Nothing around her looks even remotely familiar. She’s being led into the depths of the Musea hidden in shadow. Being led not just away from Vega… but towards something else.

“Turn now!”

Her feet move on autopilot — careen her right into a dead end.

“Dammit!” She shouts without thinking — looks hastily behind her like Vega should be right there. Actually… he should be.

She just gave herself away so why isn’t he there?

Her panic doesn’t subside — not one bit — but her racing heart calms enough to cure her tunnel vision. Gives her a moment to focus on where she is. Where she’s trapped.

She’s somewhere in the back of the Musea. Maybe an archive or something. For the last five hours (or maybe it was five seconds; time passes differently running for your life) she’s only passed stack upon stack of books and volumes and scrolls placed in haphazard balance with the utmost care.

And in every dead-end alcove there’s been some sort of table covered in contributions yet to be sorted. But not this one.

No — Nadya and all her amazingly crap luck turned into the alcove with a giant black coffin against the wall.

It vaguely reminds her of the tomb Adrian had placed Lily in for her Turning. Heavy stone carved together as both a place for mourning and rebirth. But where the coffin in the Raines Corp. basement was allowed to show age and weather this one isn’t. The edges are still sharp — like one touch would slice her hand open.

And that’s not even beginning to unpack the large iron chains polished to a glossy finish wrapped in an endless coil around the thing. A padlock with five key holes the size of both her fists resting near the top like a metal heart.

You chain something up to keep people out. You go that hard on a lock, though, and immediately you know something is being kept in.

Yet even with that fact in mind Nadya finds herself stepping towards it. Deeper and deeper into the alcove and into the alluring obsidian void the polished surface reflects. Her mirror image — disheveled and pale; just a hairs breadth away from dying of fright — reaching out with her in sync towards the lock.

She can open it. She just knows. Knows that like she knows she shouldn’t but wouldn’t it be all right to have just one peek — just one…?

“Just one…” Nadya whispers. Her reflection whispers.

Both Nadyas are fixated on the lock. Ignore one another for the promise of what lies trapped within. Of the safety it could provide for them if it was let out.

Both of them almost miss the blurry figure behind them. Almost.

She whirls around too late. Scream lost, choked in her throat as Vega doesn’t just grab — but squeezes. His eyes shaking in his skull; face red and a vein in his temple throbbing. She claws and claws with all her might but nothing works.

Then the floor goes out from under her. The back of her head hits the onyx coffin with a violent thunk. Nadya feels an unfamiliar warmth slip down her skull to tickle the nape of her neck.

But even as things start to go fuzzy around the edges Nadya notices right away that Vega isn’t focused on his conquest. He’s too busy staring at the image of himself in the coffin’s surface.

“Endless corners to hide in, rooms to get lost in, weapons to arm yourself with… and you choose this.” For a man who prides himself on his presence there’s something different about him, now. She struggles with the right word for it.

He’s… smaller. Shrinking himself back in the presence of, what, of her? No. Not when he’s been howling and batting her around like lame prey.

Vega’s eyes roam; take in every chain link and corner behind her. “What stories have they told you of him? Did they regale you with his glory days and conquests? Did you see a knight in golden armor set free to slay your enemy out of sheer gratitude? Did Raines tell you of the innocent blood they bathed in together?”

It’s the black casket.

And she knows, now, who rests inside. Like all things — she has always known.

“I may not know what Adrian was like before —” every word like a serrated knife against her lungs; struggling to speak even as his grip tightens, “—but you’re wrong Vega. He’s, ack, he’s a good man. He’s not Gaius. Not even a little.”

He barks a laugh. Spares her a glance for only a sneer before he fixates on the slab again. Like if he dares look away somehow the evil inside will slip free of its bonds and roam untethered.

“Such deluded arrogance.”

Nadya tries her best with struggling survival — and really, she doesn’t have to try that hard — to give him every ounce of hatred she has in one look.

“Why — why?”

He humors her even in the haze of his fear. Slackens his grip but raises her higher. The chains dig against Nadya��s spine; the blood from her head smears the perfect surface.

“Squeak louder little mouse,” Vega jeers, “it will be your last to be sure.”

Nadya swallows against his palm. The air thick and dusty in her lungs.

“Why?” she croaks. If any word is going to be her last it’ll be that. Whether he gives her an answer or not. She tried. God, did she try.

Whatever it takes. She did whatever it took. Even this.

And he tells her.

Either because he’s a great literary villain or because he pities the gasping half-dead thing she’s becoming under his hand; he tells her. Whispers it so only she can hear. But she’s not the only one using her ears. He’s a fool to think they’re alone.

“I did what must be done.” Vega pulls back and there’s absolution lurking underneath his hunger. He’s glad she heard his confession.

She regrets wasting her last word to ask.

He squeezes. Sticky blood wells up underneath his fingernails. Smears an imprint of his palm against her throat. Nadya opens her mouth to scream — however silently — and Vega mirrors her with his fangs reared for the kill.

Then there’s a knife on the tip of his tongue. Not another metaphor — she’s on the verge of the end it’s no time for metaphors — but the real deal. Vega’s blood splatters on her face, on her lips, and uses up the last of Nadya’s energy to make her recoil from the horror of it.

The knife’s point twitches and shifts — left to right, right to left — and wedges the top half of Vega’s skull off with little respect or grace. Like a mechanical claw his hand opens and the stale air never tasted so good as it does in that first breath she takes falling to the museum floor.

On her hands and knees Nadya blinks through the sting of vampire blood in time to gaze one last time into the face (well, most of it) of Adam Vega. Watches his lifeless eyes fixate hollow on the wall behind her before it crumbles into ash.

His body follows shortly after; knees buckling but it withers and wastes in blanketed silence over Nadya’s crumpled form. She closes her eyes, struggles to hold her breath when her lungs are still remembering how to work right.

God forbid she inhale any of the creepy jerk.

When she’s sure she won’t go blind on Vega-ash Nadya opens her eyes to a familiar hand reached out in offering.

“Your companions are scouring the Musea for you.”

Valdas gives her the time she needs to collect herself. Doesn’t retract his hand while she takes deep, reviving gulps of oxygen and helps pull her up on trembling legs. And when she buckles he’s there to catch her. Not in comfort or kindness; but in stiff obligation.

Being this close to him again she can feel that endless void in his breast trying to reach out to her. It’s enough motivation for Nadya to forcibly stand on her own two feet.

She wipes off her face with a sleeve. Tries not to think too much about the way Vega’s ash clung to Vega’s blood before it dried.

Holy…

“You —” rapidly looking between the Nadya-shaped outline on the carpeting and her rescuer, “— you saved my life.”

Judging by the look in his immortal eyes, though, that’s just a bonus. She chooses not to think too hard about it.

“Two birds with one stone.” Is his clipped reply.

“I thought you were going to…”

“‘…to…?’”

“— to confront him. For using you and Isseya.”

The vampire looks down at the remnants with calm passivity. Nadya wants to be angry; wants to be fucking stoked he’s gone. But something about how Valdas isn’t even sparing Vega’s death another thought resonates with her.

Or maybe it just resonates with the part of her that’s the part of him.

“No.”

And that’s that.

Then it hits her like an aftershock. Your companions are looking for you. Kamilah and Adrian — they’re alive! And even though she has no idea how to begin going about finding them in this maze from hell she starts forward.

Only to be stopped by Valdas’ grasp on her arm.

She looks back, “hey, what —” and finds him turned away from her; fixated.

Nadya’s done everything in her limited power to forget the dark black casket is there. Not an easy task; like seeing a canvas with only one subject and trying to convince herself the display is blank; like there’s a hole in her world because it doesn’t — shouldn’t — exist.

She chides herself mentally for thinking it was that easy.

Placing her hand over his Nadya tries to coax him with her. Kind of impossible since he’s like a load-bearing pillar.

“Come on,” she urges harder, “help me find the way out of here.”

She might as well not be talking at all.

When Valdas finally speaks his words make her shiver deep in her bones.

“So this is where they put you.”

She’s not dumb. Knows he isn’t talking to her. But really doesn’t want to stick around in case what he’s talking to decides to, you know, answer.

“Valdas, please. Come on.”

“To think… that which once waged impossible wars on immovable heavens could be chained. Locked away. Forgotten…”

“Val—Valdemaras, please…”

Something about his name brings him back from wherever the siren’s call of the tomb tried to take him. When he looks at Nadya she holds her breath while each blink changes his eyes — red to honey and back again.

“He led you here.”

Nadya nods — doesn’t want to say it aloud. Was able to push that knowledge back by struggling for her life but with Vega gone she has to face facts.

She knows who is in there. And she knows he led her here — to his prison.

But she won’t continue to play the pawn. Not after all this.

“Let’s go.” And she’s lucky for one step — it’s getting kind of frustrating. “Good; now the other foot.”

Real smart Nadi’. Patronize the crazy old vampire who just killed the guy who was gonna kill you. Excellent survival skills there.

It works (though she tries her best not to be surprised; like it was her plan all along). She doesn’t know if Valdas looks back until the coffin — call it what it is: a prison — is out of sight but she doesn’t give it the satisfaction.

Together they venture back through stacks and shelves. Nadya keeps him close — or keeps close to him, she’s not picky — in case any more of Vega’s Feral friends are hiding out of sight.

And just when things start to look familiar — no way this place has two giant taxidermy Minotaur heads in a glass case, right? — she hears a familiar voice and sobs.

“Nadya?! Nadya where are you?!”

“I’m over here, this way!” She calls out to Adrian with actual hope and relief. “I’m okay Adrian, I’m okay!”

“Kamilah —”

“Yes yes, I heard her too. This way.”

Because it would only make things more difficult (and secretly because she’s reached her body’s step-count for the day and really doesn’t want to collapse like a damsel in Kamilah’s arms) Nadya stays rooted in place.

Has to choke back the tears in her eyes as she dares to think everything might just be okay.

“What did Vega whisper in his final moments?”

Dammit. She tries not to flinch. Couldn’t they just leave well enough alone and just… forget it? Can she not have one little slice of victory pie?

Valdas doesn’t have to ask twice and he knows it. Waits with unerring patience until Nadya looks back at him through her curtain of ashy hair.

Don’t make me say it.

The look in his eyes speaks volumes.

“Nadya — once more!” This time it’s Kamilah who calls out to her and she’s much closer. Not close enough.

“Over here!” Maybe she’ll get lucky. Maybe they’ll find her before Valdas gets impatient.

But she’s used up all her luck. Valdas’ lips quirk downward.

So Nadya wets her lips, conjures up the last bit of courage she has, and tells him. “He said…”

“You know nothing of the kingdom of blood; of the vast hills strewn with bodies in His wake. We made a mistake when we chose to let him suffer for his crimes — I knew it. We all knew it. But we let him live and now we will pay the price for our vanity.

“He’s coming. And He will not stop until His kingdom is finished. Until His Soldier and His Queen return to His side. I tried to stop Him — I tried to break the cycle before it had the chance to begin. I did what must be done.”

There’s an exhale behind her; Adrian’s noise of relief. Then Kamilah’s hurried footsteps.

“He said he was jealous of Adrian’s status. Probably some long-running rivalry I don’t understand. Thank you for saving my life — again. I mean it.”

Nadya turns away and feels her held-back tears finally start to fall.

By Jax’s third prolonged sigh Maricruz has had enough.

“Stop. being. a. child!” She smacks his shoulder with every word and judging by his flinching it’s not a love-tap. Finally he uncrosses his arms to hold them up in is defense.

“All right, stop!” Doesn’t stop him from sending another scowl towards the conference room doors and the vampires beyond. “I just think it’s kind of jilted. She didn’t even put up a fight and what do they get; a bunch of Ferals to wail on.”

Nadya blinks; pretends like she’s cleaning out her ears with her little finger to make sure she’s hearing him right.

“You’re mad you didn’t get to fight?”

“Well —”

“You’re mad you didn’t have to risk your life — or worse if they’d bitten you — and instead got the easier job? Am I hearing that right?”

But before Jax can defend himself Lily returns with pilfered goodies from the lobby coffee cart. Throws a bag of onion-flavored chips Jax’s way to placate his aimless frustration.

“Don’t even try to reason with him, Nadi’,” she chides while handing the human her much-needed caffeine, “he’s a sucker for violence. Why else do you think he carries around that stupid sword, like, legit everywhere?”

She’s got a point. Nadya sips her coffee while looking him over as if for the first time. It’s doubly satisfying when he squirms under her gaze; adjusts a slip of his shirt hanging out under his zipped jacket.

“I figured it was for the aesthetic.”

The girls break into short-lived laughter at his expense.

Short-lived only because not long after the conference room door opens. Adrian gives a grim jerk of his head for them to enter.

Nicole is still tied to the chair at the head of the table — “Jump rope, really?” “Good thing Lula left it in the van.” — only she’s no longer struggling against her bonds but instead sits slumped over; unresponsive.

Nadya immediately finds comfort at Kamilah’s side. She just can’t help looking at the woman with concern.

“Is she…?”

“She’s merely unconscious. Don’t fret.”

“Hey there’s no fretting here,” she swallows her scalding brew, “I just…”

But Lily’s already got the same thought — best best friend ever — and pushes a single finger to Nicole’s head to raise it. Sure enough her eye is ringed a mottled blue-and-purple. Lily flashes her a thumbs up.

“Wait — you really did punch her?” Adrian asks as he closes the door behind them. “I thought she was making it up to make you look bad.”

Nadya looks to Kamilah. Kamilah who had very much been there when the famed punch occurred.

The woman simply shrugs. “I believe in basking in one’s victory over an enemy. You deserved this at the very least.”

Okay, that’s cute. Makes Nadya flush slightly and nudge herself closer against Kamilah’s side. Though her expression remains impassive Nadya feels the ghost of a touch at her lower back. That’s more than enough.

Jax fake-coughs. “A-hem. So, are we gonna get to it?”

And pettiness aside Nadya, too, is itching to hear what the pair learned in their interrogation of Nicole. If only so they don’t ask her if Vega explained anything important before he was killed.

In the short months she’s known Adrian she’s gotten familiar with his expressive attitude — especially when it so starkly contrasts with Kamilah’s reserved nature. She’s seen pretty much the entire emotional spectrum and what it comes with; the good and the bad.

But whatever has him so quiet, terse, tight-lipped? She hopes that when all this is put to rest she never has to see him like this again.

There’s a burning darkness hanging behind his eyes as he rests his weight on a pair of chairs; looks over to Nicole with tension trying to come out on top over immortality in the creases of his furrowed brow.

“He promised her his next clan opening — to start with.”

Adrian had willfully looked with a blind eye to just how much Nicole wanted to be Turned. He keeps trying to blame himself; “If I’d just taken her a little more seriously,” but neither Kamilah nor Nadya let him fall into the well of self-pity for too long.

It was Turning Lily that set her over the edge. Unable to look past the dire circumstances (and the fact that Lily hadn’t taken the Clan spot anyway) she decided enough was enough and went to the next best candidate to help her continue along her current uphill trajectory.

Vega was the obvious choice.

Especially when he revealed some plans of his own; plans that required getting Adrian out of the way, Ideally on a permanent basis. “The one thing she couldn’t tell us was what he was working towards,” Adrian explains, “When Nicole wants something she’ll find a way to get it. But she couldn’t crack him.”

“How do you know she’s not just keeping it secret for leverage?” asks Mari; rightfully so too.

Kamilah hums. “Trust me. I pulled everything out of her she was able to give.”

It was Nicole’s idea to tie the rise in Ferals to Adrian’s experiments. Apparently being one step below the top just wasn’t enough. She forged results and data — and when the time came for there to be a body count alongside the paper trail Vega was there to help.

“As for the Ball…” Defeat hangs heavy on his shoulders. “They knew it was a risk but also that if they pulled it off my fate would be all but sealed.”

“Vega was willing to risk his life — risk the Council, risk everything — to pull it off. The lives lost as a result are on his head.” adds Kamilah. The look she gives Adrian is probably her version of reassuring. It’s decidedly less so.

Nicole had used her access to Adrian’s labs to take a vial of Feral venom from testing — “similar to the venom in our blood that Turns humans, only corrupted with the Feral taint,” — and with it eliminated any exposure risk on Vega’s part.

Nadya thinks of Megan writhing prone and desperate in the middle of the ballroom; remembers hearing Brandon’s sobs of grief beside her on the train back to the city. Then there’s an icy hand over hers and she looks down to see her own fist clenched — white-knuckled rage held just below the surface.

The look Kamilah gives her is silent but questioning. “I’m okay.” She reassures. Maybe soon she’ll even start to believe it.

The rest of Nicole and Vega’s combined master plan they were pretty much there for; the trial, the lies, Vega relying on the Trinity to stab Adrian in the back for their own sakes and them falling right into his expectations. For her help and testimony not only would Nicole be Turned but Raines Corp. would practically land in her pocket.

“And now it won’t. Hooray, now can we please go home?” Jax rolls his eyes as he says it — still angry about the lack of action on his end.

Adrian’s holding something back — Nadya can see it. If they had more time she’d pester him until he popped but there’s so few precious hours until dawn… and there’s one more thing they need to do.

“But hold on a sec. You’re both still wanted —” Lily points at Kamilah and Adrian, “— so why would the Council of Ass-Clowns agree to meet with you? And have it not be, like, you know… a trap.”

“Plans have already been set in motion. But we should hurry.”

Kamilah doesn’t waste any time — practically drags Nadya with her until they’re all on Raines Corp’s front steps.

Jax gives them both a curt nod. “Then this is where we part ways.”

“Actually…” and Jax really doesn’t like how Adrian leaves him hanging on a single word; really really doesn’t like the look he and Kamilah share.

“No. No way.”

“You don’t know what I was going to say.”

“I don’t need to. I’m done trusting you two.”

Nadya can’t help but be disappointed. “Jax, just give them a chance.”

“Why should I? So far there’s been a whole lot of risk and very little reward.” Yes, he’s referring to the lack of violence. Which frankly Nadya’s starting to get tired of.

But before she can try to sway him further Adrian steps forward with a hand out in offering. Gives Jax an earnest look.

“Because I don’t forget my debts… and because I think I know how we can make change happen. But it’s now or never.”

It’s like the last five minutes of a show and there’s a whole plotline left untouched. She watches with near nail-biting anticipation as the men size each other up. As Jax’s eyes narrow in suspicion and he starts to object.

“I —”

This time when Maricruz hits him there’s nothing gentle about it. Lily has to smother her fit of laughter while the Clanless square off.

“Fuck your pride, Jax. This is about everyone and somewhere deep down I know you know that. So put your dick away and shake the man’s hand, dammit.”

It’s not the longest speech; nor the most heartfelt. But it’s sure damn well effective.

“You’d do well to remember you’re in our city.”

“Yeah. You can’t just summon us on a whim!”

“And yet here you are.”

“I can’t believe I left a fucking massage for this shit.”

“Oh — will you just shut up, Priya?”

“What did you just say to me?!”

Any louder and they’d echo over Central Park; statue-topped hidden entrance or no. But it’s no surprise. Still they continue down into the Council chamber — into the pit of vipers that awaits.

Valdas and Isseya stand in the center of an oblong triangle of Council members; each colored in varied levels of frustration.

Kamilah is the first to emerge from the stairwell — her presence cuts the Baron off mid-snap at Priya.

“You little cu — Kamilah?”

All eyes turn to watch the rest of them enter. Nadya watches the Baron go a violent shade of red at the sight of Adrian — but when his eyes land on Jax he’s positively ready to burst.

“You! Clanless whelp! How fucking dare —”

He cuts off like something out of a film. There’s nothing else to do, though, what with Isseya suddenly at his back with two dangerously strong hands pressing down on his shoulders. Nadya knows firsthand just how hard she can squeeze.

Isseya leans down and purrs into the Baron’s ear; “Sssh… I’m tired of hearing your voice.”

The Baron shuts up.

As they approach the center of the chamber Adrian offers his hand for Valdas to shake.

“Thank you for doing this last favor.”

Valdas doesn’t take it. “Consider this your repayment for bringing Vega to me. I would have loathed having to hunt him down myself.”

It’s enough to draw attention away from the fact that Adrian’s there — Lester looks around as though he’s just now noticing Vega’s absence.

“What have you done?” he barks.

Valdas takes the answer; “Punished the guilty.” then back to Adrian, “Do not call upon us again. Unless… you wish to repeat La Soirée.”

The cavern’s sudden silence is deafening as Valdas cups Adrian’s jaw in hand and presses a firm and chaste kiss to his lips. Even Adrian isn’t sure how to respond — simply stands there and accepts it rather than giving back. There’s an almost seductive quality to the way Valdas strokes Adrian’s bottom lip with his thumb before pulling away.

“Come, my love.” He calls for Isseya with a crooked arm. She’s gone from the Baron’s space in a blur — but not before stealing a far less innocent kiss from Adrian as well — to take Valdas’ arm in hers.

As they pass Isseya turns to watch Nadya with bright eyes — their endless depths showing only one thing: hunger.

“Enjoy your gift.” She whispers.

The Trinity leaves — and every person present watches them go.

What gift she means Nadya doesn’t know. But she can’t shake the feeling that they’ll meet again.

Or is it that they’ve met before?

The spell breaks as soon as the vampires of New York are left alone. Fangs on the edge of bearing, sides already being taken. The tension is a thick fog and it’s just shy of choking them all.

Kamilah assumes the rigid posture of the eldest and addresses them calmly. “Adam is dead.”

“Yeah,” Priya snorts, “we figured that much out for ourselves.”

“I won’t say he didn’t deserve it. He was willing to do the same to me for his own ends.” counters Adrian firmly.

“He wasn’t guilty of Council treason.”

The look Adrian gives Lester is colder than Nadya’s ever seen in him.

“Neither was — am — I. He and my former VP conspired together to blame me for their own ends.” A shadow crosses his expression and Nadya’s heart leaps a beat or two. “Nicole only cared about being Turned. I still don’t know exactly what Vega got out of framing me… but I was framed.

“I admitted to everything I did behind your backs. To experimenting on Ferals, to hiring the Nighthunters. But Vega used my research to Turn other vampires Feral and placed everyone at the Ball at risk.”

Priya rolls her eyes. “Why would he put himself in that kind of danger?”

“Because he was insane.”

“Or stupid…” Lester mutters. And Nadya’ll give him that.

“He used everyone. He used the Trinity’s clout to make me seem guilty and used your fear of the situation and our infighting to turn you to his side.”

“And if you’re still there,” warns Kamilah, “I’ll have you join him.”

Her threat isn’t thinly veiled in the slightest. But neither is her strength; which she wears like a proud cloak in front of the Council. No one says anything against her.

“Pssht, infighting…” the Baron mutters under his breath the, but before Kamilah can make good on her words Adrian throws out an arm to stay her hand.

“If you don’t see it then you’re only blinding yourself,” he insists, “because I think something like this was a long time coming. Think about it — we formed this Council not out of want but out of necessity. At the time we didn’t even like each other. The only thing that bound us all together was —”

“Getting Gaius out of the way and saving our own skins?” offers Lester. And Adrian nods.

“— Yes. The Council was the only thing between order and a chaos that could have destroyed everything. And I believe Vega sought to bring that chaos back to form. Trust me… I would have much rather had him stand trial for his crimes.”

But he had to go and run afoul of the Trinity. Somehow Nadya feels it linger among them all. The five left standing. No one has to say it. No one wants to.

“So what now?” That the question comes from Priya is enough to make Nadya wonder if she’s dreaming. “We’ve never had to pick a new Council member before. Do we divvy up his shit?” Her grin widens. “Momma could use a new mansion…”

Adrian refuses her steadfast. “No. And we don’t need to pick a new member.”

The Baron growls. “I don’t like where this is going.”

“Don’t you see the opportunity we have before us?”

“The fuck you talkin’ about, boy?”

“I’m talking about a chance to make real, lasting change. Not out of desperation but out of recognizing that our system is flawed.”

“You think democracy is flawed?” Lester blinks in astonishment.

But Adrian’s on a roll. No longer filled with the darkness of his trial and false incrimination but something else. It’s the first time Nadya’s seen the real him shine through since this all began and it gives her a rush of hope.

“Of course not. But our rules just don’t fit with the times. We need to embrace the new world and we’re going to start,” he steps aside and gestures to Jax, “by righting our earliest wrongs. We’re going to start with the Clanless.”

There’s opposition at first.

Priya threatens to tear out Jax’s heart; “no matter how pretty he is.” The Baron barks out half a declaration of war — but only half, since Jax gives him a surprisingly calm reminder of his Clan’s business with Jax’s own people and how that very same business was the reason Adrian was able to escape his execution in the first place.

Lester is the quietest of them all; the most willing to hear out the possibilities. Even so, Nadya knows the gears turning in his head are just trying to figure out how to turn the situation to his advantage. And if that’s what it takes then she’s down with it.

Nobody wants a war — that’s what it comes down to. The one thing they all agree on. Whether they have too much to lose, have fought too many wars already, or don’t want innocents in the crossfire; there’s something holding each one of them back.

And that’s a better place to start than she thought they’d have.

At some point they start arguing about which rules to change and which to keep — that’s when Nadya stops giving in to her exhaustion. When the Baron tries selfishly claiming Vega’s assets for himself she thinks closing her eyes for a minute won’t hurt.

Then there’s a cool tickle against her forehead. Initially she resists… but okay, things could be a little more comfortable — is that stone she’s leaning on because her back feels terrible.

Nadya’s bleary eyes open to the sight of Jax and Adrian near the cavern stairs.

“Come by my office tomorrow at sunset and we’ll draw up the paperwork.” Adrian says with his hands in those borrowed jeans pockets. Things will be back to normal when he’s back in his suits.

“I told you,” argues Jax, “I don’t do paperwork.”

Adrian sighs — looks like he debates trying to press the issue but he lets Jax go without another word.

The tickle returns and Nadya glances to see Kamilah off to her side. Tender touches brushing wisps of hair out of her eyes. She likes this side of the woman; the way her eyes pull her in like puddles of melted chocolate.

Mmm…. Chocolate.

“What about it?” Kamilah’s lips quirk and that’s when Nadya realizes she said that aloud.

“Uh… nothing. Nothing. What happened? Where’s…?”

“Gone,” Kamilah answers before she can even finish asking, “placated… for now.”

Kamilah wordlessly helps her stand and get her bearings. Nadya rubs her eyes and looks to see Adrian smiling at her near the entrance.

“Does that mean we —” —yawn— “— we won?”

It takes a nudge but Kamilah stays at her side as they start to leave.

“I believe so.”

It’s not enough to give her the energy to wake. But it’s still something.

“Awesome.”

[nobodyfamousposts]

Missing

@lenoreofraven Not sure this is quite what you had in mind and I know it’s not as good as it could be, but figured I’d at least give it a shot despite being half asleep and writing this up in an hour. I hope you enjoy.

For everyone else, who wants pain?

Some days, Marinette wished she could just disappear.

Sometimes that was when she was feeling particularly anxious and letting her own imagination jump to the worst possible result and destroy all her dreams.

Sometimes that was when dealing with particularly troublesome people and feeling like the world was against her. Chloe had always been good at bringing out that feeling. Lila, it seemed, was even better at it as she duped all of her friends with petty lies and so easily manipulated things. Marinette had been slowly feeling like she was sinking in a way as she struggled to not lose the people she cared about and not fall for any of Lila’s games. It reached the point where every day was like a constant battle of wits where the score board was hidden and she had no idea how well she was doing or if she was playing into the enemy’s hands.

Times like this, Marinette was grateful for the Miraculous and the mask it let her wear to be able to take a step back and away from the mundane problems of life and manipulations of certain persons.

Then there were times when she was reminded that there were worse things. Like the akuma.

She was luckily already transformed as she dodged a blow from the akuma’s strange staff. It looked for all intents and purposes to be like an eraser, though that may have been more due to the color than anything. What was up with Hawkmoth and his awkward designs, anyway?

It almost seemed like another Pixelator situation. The people this akuma touched didn’t fade away, but instead disappeared altogether almost immediately. She didn’t know what the full effect was supposed to be, but she was certain that one shot would be all it took to remove someone from the fight. Both she and Chat Noir had made every effort to avoid the blasts from the staff, but the akuma was able to attack from long range and it was difficult for either of them to be able to get in close enough to grab his possessed item.

Marinette grimaced behind the mask and dodged another blast. She could not risk letting this akuma hit her. Without her, there’d be no Ladybug and no Miraculous Cure. But when she saw Chat get cornered, she knew she wasn’t about to let her partner be taken so easily either.

“Chat Noir! Look out!” She shouted. Quickly, she wrapped her yo-yo around the akuma’s arm and pulled it away from Chat’s direction, ruining his aim and making him miss. However, this brought his attention and direction of his staff pointing to her now, and soon enough the akuma was firing upon her.

Panicking, she released her yo-yo’s hold on him and pushed herself to the side to try to avoid the hit. She could have sworn she felt something brush her arm and couldn’t help the wince. She half expected to end up in some sort of void or feel pain. She tensed, bracing herself and expecting the worst.

But nothing happened.

She was still there.

Ladybug breathed a sigh of relief. The akuma must have missed her.

“Are you alright?” Chat called, fear lacing his words.

She nodded in response. “I’m fine. Just don’t let your guard down and don’t let him hit you!”

“Of course! I’m a pro at tag!”

Ladybug rolled her eyes at her partner’s antics, but kept her sights on the enemy. She could not afford to let him get that close again.

And she wouldn’t. With a cry of “Lucky Charm!” and a rather unorthodox use of a folding chair, the akuma was soon caught in the equivalent of a human-sized mousetrap that had Chat looking particularly wary even as he joked about the circumstances. With a wry grin, Ladybug soon had the object broken and captured the akuma.

“Miraculous Ladybug!”

It was to much relief that the Cure brought back the numerous civilians who had disappeared. Ladybug still didn’t know what exactly the akuma’s power had done to them. The formerly missing Parisians seemed a bit disoriented, but little else was clear about where they had gone or the full effects of the akuma’s abilities.

It was probably for the best.

She waved away the ladybugs that had gotten a bit too close to her. The loveliness of ladybugs seemed uncertain or perhaps unwilling to leave, though she didn’t understand why. She was fine. It’s not like the akuma had gotten her, after all, and there was the rest of the city that still needed fixing. She nodded in satisfaction as they flew off, albeit appearing almost hesitant to do so. How strange. They'd never done that before.

Ladybug turned to Chat Noir with fist raised, which he returned with a smile. “Pound it!” They cheered together as they bumped fists over another job well done.

A single shrill beep filled the air, and a quick glance at the source found Chat Noir’s ring was down to two paw pads left. “I’d better split. Till next time, My Lady!” He proclaimed with a grin, giving her a bow before turning away.

And just like that, her partner escaped to run off back to wherever he goes when there isn’t a conflict. She should probably do the same as well since the battle was over. Now she just had to hurry and get back to—

Ladybug paused, confused.

She had to get back.

...

Get back to where?

...

Where was she supposed to go?

Her eyes furrowed in confusion and a sort of growing uneasiness she couldn’t quite stem.

…Was she supposed to go somewhere?

The akuma was defeated. She wasn’t needed anymore. And suddenly, she felt lost in a way she hadn’t before.

Didn’t she normally leave after a battle? She could swear there was somewhere she normally went when there wasn’t an akuma. She couldn’t always be fighting. There was a time limit, wasn’t there?

But…for what? Why did she need a time limit? She knew Chat Noir had a time limit before he detransformed, but she didn’t have that as far as she knew.

She was Ladybug.

She was always Ladybug.

Something felt off, but for the life of her, Ladybug just couldn’t think of what. The akuma was purified and everything was back to normal. Paris was restored. Her Cure fixed everything. But if that was the case, why did it feel like something was missing?

She shook off her worry and the creeping sense of anxiety that something wasn’t right.

Fighting the akuma must have messed with her head, she reasoned. Maybe she just needed a break and some air? She nodded to herself and jumped off, enjoying the strength and feeling of near-flight as she used her yo-yo to swing to the rooftops. Ladybug lived for moments like this. Freedom. No crime. No conflict. Just going where she pleased and seeing the city at peace.

But somehow, the further she went, the more she felt that she was going in the wrong direction.

11/30/18

Alya: Hey, Marinette! Did you see the fight? I can’t believe the footage I got!

Alya: The akuma was making people disappear! Turns out it just erased them completely! It’s like they never existed! How crazy is that?

Alya: It almost looked like Ladybug got hit, but she took him down crazy style!

Alya: I love it! <3

Alya: NEway, we’re still on for later, right? The other girls are planning to meet up at the cafe after school. You said you’d be there.

Alya: Lila’s coming, too. She said she has an uncle who owns a world famous patisserie! Maybe you two can bond over that?

Alya: Get back to me. I have video footage to show you.

11/30/18

Alya: Hey, where r u?

Alya: We were supposed to meet up at the cafe remember?

Alya: r u really going to act like this over us inviting Lila? C’mon girl, we’ve been over this!

Alya: Now Lila’s sad and everyone’s upset. You ruined the entire day.

Alya: Can’t you put aside your jealousy and try to get along? Just because another girl likes Adrien is no reason to cause such drama.

Alya: You need to apologize to Lila and everyone. And you’d better make it good.

Alya: Lila has already been through enough. She doesn’t need your attitude on top of things.

Alya: Pick up already.

Alya: Don’t ignore me.

Alya: You and I are going to be talking at school tomorrow. This isn’t okay.

12/1/18

Alya: Nice try staying home to get out of it, but I will be hunting you down.

Alya: You’d better have a good explanation when I get to your house.

Alya: And I’m not buying any “sick” excuse.

Alya: You could at least answer your phone. It’s just going straight to voicemail.

12/1/18

Alya: OK, where are you? Your parents said you never came home yesterday!

Alya: I know you didn’t run away.

Alya: You better not be pranking me.

12/2/18

Alya: The rest of class knows and they’re all set on searching for you.

Alya: You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?

Alya: Is this what you wanted? Everyone’s upset and worried about you. You have everyone’s attention like you want. I hope you’re happy because when I see you I’m going to give you a piece of my mind for scaring me like this.

12/4/18

Alya: Marinette, this isn’t funny.

Alya: Call me ASAP.

12/7/18

Alya: Look, I know things haven’t been great and I’ve been kind of harsh, but enough’s enough.

Alya: We can talk about this. 

Alya: Whatever’s going on, it can’t be this bad.

Alya: Girl, text me back.

12/9/18

Alya: I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry about not listening. I’m sorry I pushed you off. I’m sorry about not giving you enough credit. You’ve made your point.

Alya: You’re a wonderful person and you deserved better. I should have taken your feelings into account.

Alya: I was a jerk. I’m sorry.

Alya: I’m really, really sorry.

Alya: I’ll apologize as much as you want.

Alya: Just let me know you’re all right.

12/13/18

Alya: Please

[jorrmungandr]

2019 was a good year for games.

Lots of interesting new ideas in the space, and some refinements of old ones. Here’s a list of my personal favorite games of this year, in no particular order. Making an ordered list can be fun, but it’s ultimately pretty pointless.

Video games are such a diverse medium at this point that it’s really like comparing apples and oranges. How does Baba Is You stack up against Dragon Quest XI S? They have almost nothing in common, and their aims are so different that it makes no sense to compare them directly.

Speaking of….

Baba Is You

There are a lot of indie puzzle games out there. Making a little mind-bending puzzle is something that’s easy to do on a relatively small budget. There are also a lot of games that mimic old pixel art aesthetics of earlier game systems, to greater and lesser success. Making a truly great puzzle game, though, is a true accomplishment. Something that combines a wildly different array of elements in interesting ways, but maintains a simple readability that allows you to return to puzzles after months away and instantly recognize what’s going on.

Baba Is You is a game that accomplishes this and more. It operates on very simple, basic rules, but the way they escalate over time and require you to think outside more and more boxes with every single puzzle is simple astounding. A lot of puzzle games escalate their difficulty so quickly that it’s easy to get discouraged, put off by the impossible tasks you’re being asked to perform. Where Baba shines is that it gives you a perfect runway, teaching you things slowly but surely through a series of challenges.

This is a game where you will instantly go from feeling like the world’s greatest super-genius to a complete and utter fool in a matter of moments, from finishing one stage to starting the next. Over and over again, for dozens and dozens of levels. No game has ever better demonstrated the value of brain rest, stepping away from a problem and letting your subconscious work on it for a while. Every time I came back to a puzzle after a couple hours, I would suddenly see some option I never saw before.

One final note, the graphics are actually a perfect fit for this game. A lot of times, pixel art feels like a gimmick, something to do when you don’t have a good idea, or just mindless nostalgia-baiting. But here, it serves a gameplay purpose, giving you an absolutely clean view of the elements in play at a glance, and also serves as an homage to the simple-yet-challenging puzzle games of those older eras.

Code Vein

And now, for something completely different: An extremely anime-styled souls-like. I remember hearing about this game years and years ago, and thinking that it looked kinda… bad. But, in the meantime they really brought it all together into something fun, if not very innovative.

Code Vein is exactly the sort of thing I look for in a souls-like: it takes the basic formula and adds some new mechanics to it, and has an identity of its own. Instead of a medieval fantasy world, it’s a post-apocalyptic modern city crawling with vampires and zombies. It takes inspiration from stylish, gothic anime of the past couple decades: Code Geass, Blood+, Tokyo Ghoul, etc. The character creator is extremely detailed, but mostly when it comes to clothes and accessories.

The gameplay is… fine. It’s balanced around always having an AI companion, so they can throw bigger groups of enemies at you. It doesn’t require the same sort of intense caution of the Souls series, but that makes it more of a fun, casual experience. At least until you’re fighting a boss, then it suddenly requires you to really be on your game with dodging. If I have one complaint, it’s that the difficulty is incredibly bumpy, some areas are a cake walk and others have you struggling through every encounter.

Oh, also the area aping Anor Londo from Dark Souls. Not because it’s derivative, that’s totally fine, but because it’s a maze where everything looks the same and it’s a real pain to get through. Souls games are at their best when areas have good landmarks and make a kind of logical sense. Earlier in the game you pass through a big parking garage, and it’s perfect, just the sort of thing that translates well to this kind of game. But this cathedral-ish area… it just sucks.

It really is quite shameless.

Overally, it’s just a solid souls-like. I enjoyed the crunchy RPG elements, switching classes and balancing your weapons and armor to get good mobility and damage. The ability to just equip cool-looking attack moves as skills you can use, like spells in Souls games, is something I’d really like to see in more games in this sub-genre.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I was kind of skeptical about this game before it came out. Mostly because it was bringing back weapon durability, a mechanic I’ve always hated in these games, but that ended up being a non-issue. Also the school setting made me a bit wary, thinking it was just gonna end up being some Persona-esque thing where you spend tons of time on mundane nonsense while an actual war is going on.

That was all baseless, it turns out. They balance the idea of a military academy with a traditional Fire Emblem structure remarkably well, giving you a lot of freedom around what you want to do when you play the game. You can run around the monastery talking to students, managing your relationships, or you can just do a ton of tactical battles if you want.

The storytelling was remarkably good, though I feel like it was harmed a bit by the weird way it handled multiple routes with different big mysteries. Some routes ended up completely ignoring or just not getting around to some pretty major mysteries. I’m a person who likes long games, but expecting someone to go through all four routes to figure out what’s going on is a bit much.

But more than that, the way it holds back certain reveals hurts the writing in other ways. The actual revelations can’t really have any effect on the characters and their relationships because it all happens at the very end of the game. It keeps the world feeling a bit flat, without any reactions. The mysteries feel extraneous to the plot, in a weird way, when they are so important to certain characters’ identities and the core conflicts that drive the second half of the game.

The gameplay is okay, though a few of the maps are way too big. The portable Fire Emblem games reigned in the map sizes from the old NES and SNES ones, which was a great thing. But now we’re back to moving a whole army one unit at a time for multiple turns just to get to the next group of enemies. The class system was fun to engage with, balancing learning different skills to open up new opportunities, but the gender-limited classes were a real disappointment. Why can’t men ride pegasi? Why can’t women punch good? It’s bizarre, and honestly felt like it had some stuff left over from early drafts, like the pointless dark mage classes.

This has been a lot of complaining about a game I played for close to a hundred hours. Why is this game even on my list? Because the characters are fucking fantastic, and on a basic level the tactical battles are a lot of fun. It offers a paternalistic form of power fantasy, fostering and guiding your children-warriors and then seeing them destroy your enemies. It is just incredibly satisfying to play. And for all that the mysteries end up a bit frustrating, they are intriguing, and do a good job of motivating you to get through a very lengthy game.

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night

Ah, love a good IGAvania.

This was a year where I really reached for comfort food games a lot, and this is maybe the king of that category. It’s just an old style of game that doesn’t get made anymore, done extremely well by the guy who used to make ’em all the time. Nothing super different or innovative, just the same old thing with a couple new tweaks.

It’s an easy game, but that’s entirely by design. It’s about running around this castle killin’ monsters, collecting new abilities, just exploring and poking around the corners. It’s a game that is, ultimately, designed to be comfortable. And in a time of such strife in the world around us, what could be better?

Disco Elysium

There’s already been a lot written about this game, tons of praise heaped on its writing and its interesting, hauntological world that is so similar to our own, and yet so different. Frankly, I’m really glad I got turned into this before it even came out, if I heard all that overblown praise I’d never have ended up actually sitting down and playing it.

Here’s what I’ll say: This game is a look at an ugly world, and it gives you a lot to think about, but it actually doesn’t take itself too seriously. There are a ton of extremely funny moments, a lot of straight-up goofy-ass jokes. This is not medicine that you have to suffer through, just take it as it comes and it’s a good time. This is what allows its writing to really land, it’s not lecturing you from on high, it’s engaging on a lower, more personable level.

It’s also not some super serious text that you have to pore over and consider extremely closely at every moment. It’s a game, you can save scum and try to exploit mechanics and look up answers to mysteries. Much like Souls games, people come up with all sorts of weird rules about the “proper” way to play games like this, but in the end your experience is up to you.

One final note: the game does start off with a kind of off-putting ironic tone. Some people try to downplay this, but it’s there. I can only say this: if you give this game a chance, you’ll be rewarded. It is worth getting through a few sarcastic jabs to get to the good stuff later on. It’s not some perfect audio-visual experience that will entrance you from the opening moments to the credits, it’s just a video game.

Dragon Quest XI S

I first played Dragon Quest XI last year on PC, and I enjoyed it a lot! But I didn’t actually finish that version, not really. I put a lot of time into, but ultimately burned out on the grind towards the very end.

The form that games come in is very important to how they are experienced. Dragon Quest games work best as portable games, I truly believe. It also helps that this version on the switch added the ability to speed up regular battles, so you don’t have to sit through some long attack animations over and over. The more important aspect, though, is simply the ability to pick it up and put it down more easily.

Sitting down at my PC, plugging in my controller, and pulling up a game is a subtly labor-intensive thing. It means I’m devoting a lot of attention to a game, and it has to do something to earn that on a moment-to-moment basis. The ability to just push a single button on the switch and get back into means that I’m willing to forgive a lot more down time.

Anyway, the game itself: this is not just a very good Dragon Quest game, it is the ultimate Dragon Quest game. It truly shows the value in iteration over pure innovation, taking all sorts of different mechanics and ideas from past games in the series and bringing them all together in one big package. But it doesn’t feel overstuffed, it’s just doing the same thing these games have always done, just really, really well.

Dragon Quest XI successfully pays tribute to the older games in the series while also telling a new story with entertaining twists and turns, and fun and interesting characters. It’s beautiful, everything runs smoothly, the writing is charming and light. It’s not on the same level as Disco Elysium, but it’s not aiming for that sort of thing. It’s a fairy tale, a fable, a reflection of the world in a different sense.

A lot of game critics missed this game because it’s long. And that is absolutely fair, it’s hard to fit a 100-hour game into a review schedule in this day and age. But it’s an absolute gem, a truly wonderful experience from beginning to end. I’d recommend it to anyone who just wants a game to relax with at the end of the day.

Monolith: Relics of the Past

Like some sort of Christmas miracle, there was an expansion pack released for one of my favorite roguelikes on Christmas day, just last week.

Monolith is the best twin-stick shooter roguelike, I will make no bones about it. Forget your Gungeons and your Bindings of Isaac, this is a classic NES-styled game with an absolutely pitch-perfect aesthetic and sense of humor. It serves both the twin-stick shooting and the roguelike parts of its genre perfectly, giving you a strong basic weapon to rely on, and also a guarantee of something more interesting but random in every run.

Man, there are games that I enjoy more, but I really, truly feel that this is one of the best-crafted games of the past few years. And this expansion only made it better: fixing up the UI and tooltips to make things more clear, rebalancing the weapons so that they are all useful, adding more variety to runs.

I’m not the best at Monolith, it took me quite a while to get a full win, but that doesn’t make it any less fun to play. In my youth, I was really quite good at bullet-hell games, but nowadays those reflexes aren’t there. It’s a game designed for people who can dodge endless bullet curtains, and also, now more than ever, for those who struggle with it.

It’s truly inspiring to see something that takes from the past and the present and fuses it together into something so wonderful. There are other games that really capture the NES aesthetic and sensibility, like Odallus or The Messenger, but this one really gets the spirit of that whole era of games. It is at once light and airy, and also punishingly difficult. It offers tricks and outs, but also remains utterly mysterious and intimidating.

And that’s it. There are more games I enjoyed this year, like the remake of Link’s Awakening, but these are the big ones that stick out in my mind.

There are a lot of big narrative-heavy games I never got around to finishing, or even starting. It just doesn’t really fit with how I play games these days, listening to podcasts and aiming to relax, not engage with something on a deep level.

That’s okay, though. I’ll get around to ’em in the fullness of time.

Games of the Year 2019 2019 was a good year for games. Lots of interesting new ideas in the space, and some refinements of old ones.

[andagii-writes]

“A Drop Echoes” Postmortem

Or as I like to think of it, a grand old vomitfest that I've been writing in between chapters so I can keep myself oriented on the fic. And I waited until I finished uploading A Drop Echoes in the Hollow to post it here.

Speaking of which, did you guys enjoy it? While I see all the comments and kudos and bookmarks on AO3, as well as reviews, favorites, and follows on fanfiction.net, I just want to ask. It's literally been nearly 6 years since I posted ANY fanfic online, and having had a not-so-good experience with online socializing or collaboration before, I'd been fairly apprehensive to start posting again.

Shout-out to both Ginger and Draco @gingerdrakewrites and their fics for giving me the courage to move on from those bad memories, and spurring me to start writing and posting again.

I’m here to share some thoughts with y'all about this here fic, 'kay? It's gonna be a long one so pull up a chair, warm up a tea or coffee or cocoa or whatever, drape yourself in a blanket, and relax.

Regarding Kutone

Writing professors told us all the time, that the first full-length project we finish will almost always be some kind of autobiography.

While I haven't had the same tribulations as Kutone, yeah, she is my autobiography.

Mixed race, Afro-Asian. Fairly successful in academia and supposedly has the potential to do more, but she throws it away to pursue something for her own sake. Overcomes self-inflicted isolation and learns to trust and love people again. (Admittedly, I'm nowhere close to doing that last bit.)

After that, she's the ideal I want to be.

Successful. Cool. Sexy. Independent. A little bit taller. A bit of a baller. Badass. Experienced. Confident. I count all these things she has that I don't, and I shrivel up inside.

So here's Kutone, the woman I wish I could be, and I, as the writer, pushed her off her pedestal and shattered her. It felt nice. That there's character development, supposedly.

Writing professors and college-level workshop mates also told me "don't use exotic names for your characters."

To that I say fuck all y'all.

Regarding Sebastian

AKA, the major reason why I decided to purchase Stardew Valley in the first place. Funny story, this one. I was scrolling through the screenshots on the Stardew Valley Steam page, and I think there was a screenshot that happened to show Sebastian's sprite. "Oh okay," I think, "he's kinda cute."

My sister charges in, takes one look at the screenshot, and says, "Man I was about to say he's cute, but god that nose..."

And as we cackled at Sebastian’s expense, I bought the game and started playing it. Made Kutone my avatar (meaning she seriously had no significance until I developed a certain businessman...) and started futzing around in Stardew Valley. With Harvest Moon and Animal Crossing under my belt, I got it pretty quickly.

Met Sebastian and had to put my head down for a few minutes.

‘This man is a reflection of me,’ I thought. I know a lot of other players feel the same way, like the dev had unknowingly taken a piece of my psyche, molded it into pixels and coding, and then, huh, here's a relatable character named Sebastian. That being said, I wanted to write him in a way that avoided the usual tags and labels people tend to slap him under: "emo," "goth," "depressed," "anxious," "gloomy," and basically every other iteration of those words that I felt made him so... meh, you know?

I settled on a new label for him, a label intrinsic to A Drop Echoes: "pathologically introverted."

The guy's actually really expressive, you know. It's just that, due to not being able to wholly trust anyone, he doesn't readily show those expressions. Which would explain why he's such close friends with Sam, and it also gives him a whole other layer of characterization to work with. Minimal, yet loaded. I guess that's where the popular "emo" tag comes from, but I'm still not a fan of the nuances of that label. Yes, he's emotional, and he tries, I think, to not show it, but in the face of sheer logos (like Demetrius), Sebastian knows he doesn't stand a chance. He's hyper aware of the fact he's emotional, but can't compromise that with his more logical side. So he shuts it away.

He needs a safe place to open up. Sam is that safe place. Abigail is that safe place. To a lesser extent, Robin is that safe place. And in writing A Drop Echoes, I wanted him to find another safe place--a permanent safe place--in Kutone. Someone who's a lot closer to him in personality, and someone who seriously puts her faith in him as a safe place. More than anything else in his life, that reciprocation is the magic he needs to "come alive" again. After that is a matter of, will he take it and run and see how far he can go? He knows he has potential. And he has his plan: take his bike out and never look back. Head out to the city and live his ideal life there. Does he fulfill it?

The original game didn't let him.

I like to think Kutone did.

Regarding Rhei

Origin? I had a crush on someone a lot like him--though mine was more angelic in comparison to devilish Rhei--at the same time I remembered a rule in a handbook about no dating in the same workplace. Yeah...

Anyway, based on what I eyeballed from the comments, about 96% of you hated Rhei. How do you feel about him now? Tell me things!

At the time I wrote the chapter starring him, I made this post, which was basically me fangirling over my own character.

Bet you didn't click it. That's okay. TL;DR, Rhei very nearly destroyed the rest of this fic, because Kutone was thiiiiiiis close to getting back together with him. Maybe in some AU version of the fic, they did, and that would be an interesting story on its own. She would have totally broken Sebastian's heart. Totally. That would have been some fun angst to write, but dealing with love triangles and their fallouts--even thinking about that concept makes me shrivel up inside.

I actually have an entire standalone document detailing Rhei and Kutone's relationship! How it started, how Jaci got involved, how successful Rhei and Kutone were, how deeply in love they were. They were too perfect for each other, so they burned up like blazing sawdust. This piece is their theme song. (Also I'm in love with biosphere mkay spare me.)

Regarding Changes

Grading myself here, I think I'm at a B-?

I did good on this fic. Still a good chunk of room for improvement, but despite the fact I want nothing more than to get it out of my face, I like what I've done. Like damn. I wrote a book and I kinda like it.

Things I'd change:

1. Wordiness - I do get too purple in some places, but I also would not sacrifice my prose poetry in certain parts either. 2. Risks - I thought about a lot of these. For instance, Kutone should have slept with Alex, and Seb should have caught them. Again, like Rhei barging in, this would have changed the entire arc of the fic, and I believe that once you cheat, there's no going back to what you were before. Doubt's always going to be a source of conflict in the relationship, and I refuse to believe people like Sebastian or Kutone would ever trust each other again if an affair was on the table. So I shriveled away from that risk too. Sometimes, I gotta let my imagination go there, and see where each rabbit hole takes me, y'know? 3. Omit BS - I'd either cut or fuse a lot of the early chapters. Also, much as I love Alex, a couple of his chapters were really unnecessary. 4. Character arc/Story arc - Is it even there? It needs more! What is even a climax? That was always the one point in the "mapping plot arcs" lessons that I could NEVER understand! More studying necessary.

Any other thoughts? Anything you guys want to ask me about A Drop Echoes before I fully focus on Sunset Stars? Ask me anything, send me your thoughts, theories, conspiracies, cries of mercy, comments or questions to my characters, anything at all, to my lonely inbox.

Also, lastly, but not least, I want to use this moment to thank you all again. For real. Thank you for your love and support, and thank you especially for cheering Kutone on to the end. 

With that...

[fictionalhell]

Q&A With Aifrit

Overview.

We were given an opportunity to sit down and get a better understanding of who Aifrit is and after having a little fun going over her work we got to asking her a few questions.

The following is a record of the interview held by Zieg, Hail, Astro, and Luie with author Aifrit.

Q: So, we just recently started covering your fanfiction titled “Farronheit” and we where interested in knowing when exactly did you start writing “Farroncest” and why?

A: 2012. I distinctly remember sitting inside a classroom building in my softmore year of college waiting for my next class and was like “fuck I wanna write some Farroncest... but should I even do that? that lowkey sounds kinda immoral ew” because I found the FFXIII Kink Meme and there were some quality kink prompts on there and a handful of Farroncest ones. I remember sometime before even this I read some Farroncest fic about Lightning ravaging Serah in a bathroom during dinner with Snow and I was like “YOOOO THIS IS WHY PEOPLE WRITE THIS SHIP??” I felt so conflicted because I initially was like “why the FUCK would anyone write this ship???”

So then that day in that classroom building I just decided to write it and do it. And thus Bonding was born. Bonding is my first Farroncest fic ever and also my first smut fic ever. Looking back at it now, it’s really awkward to read and I cringe when I see it but I guess we gotta start somewhere huh?

Q: Do you write professionally or just as a hobby?

A: I don’t know if I could ever write professionally. I write too slowly tbh. It takes me ages just to write a couple thousand words if I’m not super in the mood. I do web development professionally, as well as a hobby, but as far as other hobbies? I love art but I never pursued it as much as I did writing because I always saw how bad my art was but it was hard to see how bad my writing was. I do love doing pixel art from time to time. I wanna get better at art and pixel art and I keep telling myself to, but I need to buckle down and actually deal with it, ugh.

Q: I’ve seen your pairing choices for your fanfictions so far but I have to ask, what was your first ship?

A: Definitely Kagome/Sesshoumaru before I even knew what shipping was. Good ol’ FF.net days. Q: You’ve come a long way and in that time you’ve written a good number of pieces. Which one of your works are you most proud of?

A: Blue Dream, the Lanille fic. I really wanted to capture that whole weird, floaty feeling of being high, and that feeling that time passes in like... scenes?? Like you can’t fully remember everything that happens but you get snippets of very specific things you do when you’re out — that’s why the last page or two of paragraphs are broken up so differently than the rest of the fic, like little micro screnes. I had a fucking blast writing that piece and I really hope other people enjoy it as much as I did. There’s a lot more I can say about it, including the minor reference to Final Fantasy IV and my decisions regarding how the smut scene was written. I could go into detail a bit if people cared haha.

Q: So, when you are writing, who or what is your inspiration when you write?

A: I started writing when I was little but I didn’t really have any real inspirations then. I wrote because it was fun to create something from almost nothing. The past few years I’ve had a couple inspirations. One writer from tumblr who wrote Princess Bubblegum/Marceline (Bubbline) fics from Adventure Time. They were EXTREMELY well-written. I mean that person’s just an amazing writer overall. What I loved about their writing was how they wrote in present tense. I don’t think I’d really seen this before and I loved how it made everything seem like it was happening now and not being retold by the narrator. Eventually they wrote less Bubbline, but they also got really annoying with their posting so I unfollowed. Oh well.

 Now I don’t have many inspirations now, but I can say that as far as fanfiction is concerned, I do really wish I could write as well as SapphireSmoke. I haven’t read all her fics, but every one I do read is just so well-crafted and interesting, and the smut is top notch. I’m always fascinated every time I read a fic (they’re so long tho!).

 Q: I understand you are currently on a hiatus, but what can we expect when you make your return to writing?

A: So the biggest reason why I’m on hiatus is because I have no motivation due to a variety of things (adulting, breakup, etc). I also haven’t felt very great about my writing for a long time and I’m trying to take a break to maybe regain some confidence. In any case, there’s a lot of stuff I wanna write when I start back up. I’ve been on a serious Doki Doki Literature Club kick. Love the idea of Monika trying to be the perfect girlfriend for the Player character, and I’d love to see them in some unorthodox fics like college settings where the game either doesn’t exist or exists in some other form.

I’d also love to write more Lanille. I still love this pairing a lot and can do a lot more with it, unlike the Farrons (still wanna write them too but they’re getting difficult). And there’s more that I wanna write too for other pairings including Fang/Serah and Paine/Rikku.

 Q: Are you done with writing about the Farron sisters?

A: I am not done writing the Farrons. There’s still prompts I wanna do for Farronheit and I’d like to add to that until I completely burn out of them for good. They are definitely getting difficult to write. They feel too same-y, like there’s always some element of me making sure to show that their relationship is taboo, and then Serah using Snow as some sort of Lightning bait.... It gets repetitive.

 Q: Outside of the erotic or smutty kind of stories what else have you written?

A: So I’m a gigantic werewolf fan and like inserting them into anything. I’ve liked them since I was a kid (probably Bloody Roar’s fault) and enjoy writing them as well. I’ve been disappointed with how werewolves are portrayed in media — boring ass one-dimensional movie monsters that are only good for killing. That gets stale. I wanted to write werewolves doing more shit — having families, lives, social circles, dealing with puberty and the shifting stage, dealing with their significant others and getting the courage to tell the ones who are human about their identity. I feel like those make more interesting stories. I literally am so obsessed with werewolves, I took the time out to do mass amounts of research to craft my own personal werewolf species to use as a basis for any werewolf fics I write after that. It needs to be edited heavily.

 Q: Anything you don’t write?

 A: I don’t have the stamina or speed to write a multichaptered fic, really, or at least a coherent one. I’ve tried with a Lanille once, and now I don’t want to finish the fic at all. Content-wise, and as far as smut, there are, of course, a list of kinks I am definitely not interested in and will never write. But it’s too hard to say on a general level.

Q: Do you have any issues with making sure your staying as true to the characters as possible? For example projecting yourself onto them. A: Lightning's personality is kinda close to my own so she's fairly easy to write. I can throw a lot more of myself into her and (hopefully) make her sound more realistic. Serah is a bit more difficult because her personality differs from mine so much (Vanille as well). I tried to do a lot of research on the characters before I wrote them so I played the game over, took note of different things like body language and verbal tics. like Lightning has a tendency to say "Right" when she faces an awkward or difficult situation and rolls her eyes a lot. Vanille bounces around a lot .

We’d like to thank Aifirit for taking the time to make this interview possible. @fyeahnix

[cwl190]

Week 6

Amy Tan's "Pixel by Pixel":

“You take the ideas you rely on for survival, and discard what weighs you down” (32).

“...when I had a feeling like sadness, I couldn’t find a word that meant everything that I felt inside of me. I always felt that words were inadequate, that I’d never been able to express myself- ever. Even now, it’s so hard to express what I think and feel, the totality of what I’ve seen. But this loneliness is the impetus for writing, because language is the best means we have to connect” (33).

Michael Chabon's "To Infinity and Beyond"

“I saw the rotted dust and bones that had once deliciously been Beatriz Viterbo; I saw the circulation of my own dark blood; I saw the coupling of love and the modification of death; I saw the Aleph from every point and angle, and in the Aleph I saw the earth and in the earth the Aleph and in the Aleph the earth; I saw my own face and my own bowels; I saw your face; and I felt dizzy and wept, for my eyes had seen that secret and conjectured object whose name is common to all men but which no man has looked upon- the unimaginable universe. I felt infinite wonder, infinite pity” (78).

Angela Flournoy's "A Place to Call My Own"

“Readers come to the book with all sorts of back-grounds, and they don’t need me to communicate how they should feel about a character. They don’t need me to suggest a character should be excused for his actions because of X, Y, and Z. They’ll make their own decisions” (182-183).

PIXEL BY PIXEL: 

Some of the microscopic pixels that made Gonzeles’s, Parameswaran, Orringer’s and Wilson’s characters stand out to me was probably their thought process. You can get a good handle on what the character’s personality is based on how they react to a situation, such as the narrator wanting to view his wife under a microscope and the tiger being unaware of the carnage he’s unleashing until he kills the child and his zookeeper. Or Orringer’s main character being fixated on the tooth among all the other pressing problems which highlights that she is just a child. These little details are important because they are aspects of their flaws and also give us a wider picture of their personality traits.

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND:

I think Parameswaran narrating with a tiger is so useful because of the tiger’s own motivations versus the failed result of those motivations.

“What had I done? I had to find help for him if it was the last thing I did. I turned and ran out of the people door- I had never been outside of the people door before, but I didn’t even think twice about running outside of it” (13).

Here, we see that the tiger wants to find someone to take care of Kitch, but in the eyes of people, they see a threat that is trying to escape the cage after brutally murdering someone. You feel bad because the tiger has no ill intent and yet it will get misconstrued by everyone else around him due to the species (??) barrier. We can see the tiger’s impulsive decision when trying to help humans always blows up in his face but it doesn’t make us hate him. Maybe we feel pity and uneasiness but the fact that he is an animal makes us regard him with a more merciful moral lense.

EVERYTHING I MEANT TO SAY: 

Most of the stories we’ve read and discussed did not make me feel good in any way. Maybe it’s the premise or the characters or the ending, but I feel like we start out at a low point already, and then it gets worse, and at best we are back at the same point at which we started. There’s not really a comfort to be found while reading these stories, but if I had to choose one text in this class that made me feel more comfortable with reading than the others, it has to be “grand stand-in”. I can’t tell if it’s the science fiction set-up, the dialogue, the first person point of view or the character herself, but it just felt like a writing style I was more familiar with than any of the other texts I had read so far. The exchange the main character has with the arranger just read very satisfyingly to me:

“You hate them, don’t you?” he says.

“Yes.”

“You’re going to make them love you, aren’t you?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say. “Yes I am.” (10)

It’s effective and it works well in establishing her. She doesn’t even say much, but the simplicity in their exchange is so effectively telling of what the main character is like. Just from that we can tell the narrator does a morally ambiguous job, but she has her own set of morals that she strongly commits to that is strongly contradictive to what her customers expect of her. And even so, the narrator takes a lot of pride in her work. Despite her own personal feelings, performing exceptionally is at the forefront of her mind. I didn’t really connect with that feeling of spite, but it’s something I feel like I’ve seen before, but done in a way that shows exactly the type of person the main character is and handles her job.

A PLACE TO CALL MY OWN: 

I think you need to treat your characters like people. I found that it’s a lot easier to get a feel of your characters through character sheets where you have to write about how they respond to given situations, or even their favorite foods. It might not seem as though it’ll be effective to your plot, but to me any inch of familiarity can get me a better understanding of who my characters are. The way they react to situations is more telling of their personality rather than describing them to the audience. However, at the same time, I find the more I explore aspects about my character, I end up being able to rationalize everything about them and that just makes them more uncertain to me. I feel like that kind of over analyzation can be applicable to real life. You don’t need to know everything about another person, and if you feel the need to you’ll just end up growing obssessed with the idea of them and not the person themselves. There’s a balance you need to strike so you don’t end up retconning them the further along you get with your story.

CONNECT THE DOTS—HORROCKS: 

Caitlin Horrock’s “It Looks Like This” contains usage of a lot of the advice that Perry gave us. Percy states in “Get a Job” that:

“It is a job that frames and sets into motion every element of your story or essay or poem- and it is your job to do the required research that will bring the language and tasks and schedule and perspective of your characters’ work to life. Google can do only so much for you. The library can only do so much for you. You need to write from the trenches” (145). 

Horrock does this especially well in her own writing:

“...this quilt, with the crooked angles and the lazy handstitching, was machine-pieced out of salvaged, distressed, printed cottons, on a 1886 Singer treadle, filled with flat, all-cotton batting, and quilted with a size 7/9 needle using unwaxed thread. The pattern (Log Cabin: Barn Raising) was popular in northern Ohio from 1865-1895, and if I told you that’s when this quilt was made, you’d have to know a fair bit about quilts to be able to prove me wrong” (22).

I have no idea what’s going on here. I don’t even know what a treadle is. My knowledge of sewing extends as far as a home economics class I took in elementary school, but from what I read from this text, even when the narrator points out her work’s shortcomings, I can tell that she definitely knows what she’s talking about. I really like that she sounds so self-assured here because although she didn’t finish school, you can tell she’s very knowledgeable about quilting. These specifics are exactly what Percy expects to make the character’s occupancy believable. The audience doesn’t really have to know what the meaning behind the phrases the narrator was using, and Horrock is well aware of it in the last sentence of the quote. You’d have to be an experienced seamstress or have a wealth of knowledge about quilting to be able to overturn the information she’s feeding us, because any average person would not be able to discern whether or not it’s real or not. The general, ignorant public would usually just accept it as fact.

CONNECT THE DOTS—WANG: Write a response that connects the dots between any of the craft essays we have read and Weike Wang’s story “Omakase.”

Amy Tan states, “I’ve found that the way to capture the truth of a character- and beyond that, to reflect the truth of how I feel- is to write microscopically. To focus on all the tiny details that, to-gether, make sense of a character. Each person’s perspective is absolutely unique; my job is to unearth all the specific events and associations that form an individual consciousness. It’s not enough to show how someone behaves in a single moment- I want to provide the whole history and context that informs each action” (33).

I think Tan’s viewpoint really shines through “Omakase” because the way in which the woman responds to the chef when he brings up that his manager was Chinese may seem defensive, but to her it appeared as a jab at her ethnicity. She seems very passive, but throughout the story we see her pick apart and analyze every action and every interaction between the people around her. Through her long, winding monologues we can see her own inner conflict about her suspicions her boyfriend had yellow fever, questioning why her friends thought that she got lucky for finding someone white, all her ambivalence. It’s established that she’s an overthinker, so in the moment it makes perfect sense for her to speak up to the chef. 

[fullmetalkittn]

The Last King’s Knight - Ch.2

736.V.15th, 6:45pm     

The sun had set on the little apartment almost an hour ago. Though the table lamps and ceiling fixtures worked just fine, the electronic glow from Tiger's phone was the only light in the dark room. She knew it was bad for her eyes to play this way, but who could be bothered to turn anything else on when there were pixel goblins to slay?

Ignis had logged in as promised and chosen to adventure as the five star Verdi in their possession – a harpy tank character that Tiger never had the good fortune to draw. She considered using the nine-tailed fox in spiteful retaliation, but opted for Sakura instead to make their digital outing more productive.

And productive it was! The farming was done within a half hour, and since then they had spent some time moseying through event maps and trading DMs. More the latter, than the former. A strange weight had settled in Tiger's heart, and though she may have been projecting, it felt like Ignis was a bit troubled as well. These feelings fueled lengthy back and forths as she sought to distract herself from the trepidation. The messages from her friend were as well worded as ever;

It's been quite the day so far.

An incredibly busy one, at that. There's been so much to do preparing for the trip that I've lost track of time twice already. Even as we speak, my friend awaits my aid cleaning out his apartment. I can't imagine how long that's going to take, given the chaotic state it's typically in. Heh. But it must be done before we leave. He won't be returning to it when we come back from Altissia.

That's right. Ignis was leaving tomorrow. With all the changes to her organization in preparation for the signing and the Nif's takeover of the frontier, Tiger had just about forgotten that all four of her King's Knight friends were ditching the Crown City for a while. Though they had mentioned the upcoming journey quite a bit, this was the first time their destination had made it's way into the conversation.

She smiled. For 17 years she had called Lucis home, but the Accordo capital of Altissia was the place of her birth. Too young when they left it to remember much about the city, Tiger nonetheless felt a bit sentimental seeing its name on appear on her screen.

Altissia!

My family lived there when I was a little girl. It's been a long time since I've seen it. Oh, I wish I could go with you! But there's this whole peace treaty stuff to deal with tomorrow. Crazy time to be a Glaive, I guess. I know how stressed you must be, but I think I'm a little jealous of your trip! Promise you'll try a strawberry gelato while you're there.

Do it for me, even if you don't like strawberries, ok?

Had she told Ignis about her occupation before? They'd been in contact for over a month now. Surely it had come up. And even if it hadn't, it wasn't as if she belonged to any sort of secret organization. Tiger wasn't ashamed of her affiliation, either. Though they were often looked down upon as a band of filthy, foreign refugees, the Kingsglaive had earned their place in Regis's favor through blood and steel. How many of those high and mighty Crownsguard losers could say the same?

Still, she wondered if she hadn't revealed too much, and bit her lip in anticipation of Ignis's next DM. The minutes ticked by in dark, anxious silence. It felt like twenty seven years had passed by the time the screen lit up again with the notification of a reply.

She swiped it open.

I'll keep that in mind.

While I've never been outside the crown city, I've studied the world beyond the wall ever since I was a young boy. That includes Altissia, though I imagine the words I read won't have done it justice. If only I could take you along. A native guide would certainly be appreciated and I've wanted to meet outside the game for some time now. Alas, I fear our duties will prevent that from happening for just a while longer.

As well I fear they must cut short our time now.

It was closing in on 7pm. Having yet to make herself any supper, Tiger's tummy had started to gnaw loudly on her backbone. With Ignis's obligation to his friend no doubt looming over him like the irritating emptiness in her stomach, she knew the grown-up and responsible thing to do would be to call it quits for the time being and see to other things.

She curled up in the corner of the futon and cradled her phone in her hands as she tapped out a response.

One more map, then?

:3

She was a terrible excuse for a grown-up, after all.

Ignis seemed equally unwilling to part digital paths, and in the end another thirty minutes passed before they finally DM'd their farewells for the evening. Tiger stayed logged in for a bit, staring at Ignis's offline Verdi. A profound hollowness settled in her chest.

“Ugh. What is this awful feeling?” She demanded of the vacant apartment as she stood up and finally turned on some lights.

In the kitchen, a mostly empty fridge and some sparsely stocked pantry shelves presented themselves for her dinner gleanings. Tiger had meant to go shopping today, but time spent with Ignis had taken priority. With no regrets, she foraged up a can of condensed tomato soup and some frozen waffles. As the toaster oven and stove top saucepan heated her food, she leaned back against the counter and considered her online friend's last few messages.

“So, he's a boy after all.” She said, crossing her arms as she thoughtfully tapped her lips with her forefinger. Her cheeks colored lightly. Had he worded his response just to reveal it? Her mind wandered as she tried to imagine what Ignis might look and sound like. Naturally, the portrait of his wizened wizard character eventually popped up. Tiger let out a short laugh and shook her head. “Whatever.”

Steam rose from the pot on the stove, signaling the soup's ready state just as the toaster oven chimed. She arranged her food on a lap tray and made her way back to the futon. Plopping down there in the same spot she had occupied all day, she flicked the television on and settled back to eat. There would be no Malbuddy to entertain her at this hour. Only the news, and the news was all the same.

“Preparation for tomorrow's signing ceremony continues well into the evening here at the Citadel,” droned a flaxen-haired female reporter dressed in a blue business suit. Behind her, tawny streetlights illuminated the Capitol promenade, full of black cars and people in uniform. “Security has been tightened up to ensure our esteemed guests' safety, and all are eager to see a resolution to this conflict at last.”

“Not like this, they aren't,” Tiger said in between mouthfuls. Her expression soured. The terms of the treaty would leave her parents at the Empire's mercy, and while she trusted her father to keep her mother safe, the idea of them being politically cut off from Lucis filled her with dread. This was only part of the uneasiness that had haunted her since the change in operations. Something else chewed at her like the faded memory of an old wound – a wrongness that she couldn't quite grasp.

She took a bite of her plain waffle and surfed through the channels. The same scene was repeated on them all; different angles with different reporters wearing the same fake smiles as they drummed up the joy that the peace would bring.

And isn't that worth it...?

“Even now His Majesty hosts his long time rival at a fun little gathering atop the Citadel,” one reporter was saying. His accent was obnoxious, but he was kind of cute. He winked at the camera as he continued, “King Regis makes a helluva enemy, eh? We should all be so lucky.”

Tiger's sour demeanor soured further. The other Glaives weren't going to like that. Tensions were already high among those like her, whose families would be abandoned to the Empire. How would they feel hearing that the Emperor himself now enjoyed expensive drinks and fancy little foodstuffs at the King's pleasure? How much worse for those of her comrades that were assigned to citadel security tonight, witnessing this first hand?

She eyed her simple fare and imagined the sort of wonderful things that that bastard Aldercapt was getting to eat at Insomnia's expense. What she wouldn't give to taste such finery herself!

Grumpier than ever, she tore off another piece of waffle with her teeth and changed the channel. Luckily, a stunt course game show with ridiculous overblown obstacles appeared in the sea of on-site reporters and monotone anchors. Tiger settled in to watch, grateful for anything that would take her mind off the bitterness she felt and the troubling thought of days to come.

Three or four mindless hours later, she had just begun to doze off to an automotive sales infomercial when her phone lit up and chirped. She popped one eye open and glanced at the screen.

King's Knight: New DM received from Ignis.

She quickly set her tray aside and took up the device to check it.

Fancy another go at it?

It appears we've a bit of time and restlessness to burn before bed. The apartment is taken care of and the four of us are all logging in. Care to throw yourself into the rotation? We'd all love to play with you at least one more time before we're Altissia bound.

Just like that, Tiger's grumpiness evaporated. A warm smile spread across the Glaive's face as a strange lump formed in her throat. She felt the oddest urge to cry, but blinked it away. Without hesitation, she tapped out her answer.

Of course!

You don't even have to ask!

[faces-in-unexpected-places]

Do You Have the Time? Episode 013: Andre Ramone

Warning: This episode contains strong language that may be shocking or offensive to some readers.

[3rd Moon of Aestas, 13XX, 19:59]

You amble through the ethereal grove of Terrafron. The golden sunlight shimmers between the wavering leaves and branches in the peaceful evening of mid-Aestas. The grove was always lovely this time of year. You carry your lute and pluck the notes of a C major scale, as you have retired your sword for the day. You march with pride, knowing that the village you had just left was free of the nefarious troglodytaria that have been wreaking havoc in the Land of Ignis and Fumus for over a century. Bonavento, your long-time ally and friend, will meet you in the centre of the grove to escort you to the Archduke of Terrafron. You currently work under the Archduke as a mercenary for hire. The grove becomes gradually thicker, the grass taller and darker, and the air cooler as you head further into the forest.

“Aye!” a voice called from the top branch of a hawthorn tree. Bonavento fiercely aimed an arrow straight at you from his bow. “I hereby claim you a, uh, a traitor of the Archduke, and will thus have you—AH FUCK—”

The branch snapped beneath him and he tumbled from one limb to the next. His head hit the first branch of the fall, then his abdomen on the second. His funny bone, third, and groin last, before plummeting to the knobby ground that was disrupted by enormous tree roots. Bonavento groaned and slowly dragged himself up to his knees, holding his head.

“Bitch!” he cried, “That fuckin’ hurt. The Archduke doesn’t pay me enough for this bullshit, you know that? He’s—he’s not even paying me for this, I’m—I’m just, you know, framing you, as the enemy of the kingdom, so I can keep, you know, I don’t know. Doing whatever it is Celtic fuckin’ squire-ass traitor’s of the kingdom do? Embezzle I guess? Did they have that back then? And by then, I mean now? Oh, Jesus, I think I pulled something. Oh-HO,” Bonavento bent over backwards to stretch his back, “Fuck meeeeEEEE! AHHH. DID YOU HEAR THAT CRACK. Ugh, okay… phew… alright, enough dickin’ around, yeah, big reveal, long-time friend, actually huge traitor-douche, start the boss-fight already let’s goooOOOOO!”

*New Player has Joined Game*

[April 18th, 2018, 13:03]

“Madison, would you cut it out, already,” Jeremy called from the other side of the lab. Jeremy stood at the lab bench in the back of the room that almost spanned from one wall to the other. He was gathering various mechanical parts to construct one of the functional parts of their machine. 

Jeremy, Leslie and Leopold had all agreed on a schematic that illustrated how the cosmic strings would be formed, and he began his work on a piston. Essentially, the one end of the cosmic string would stick to the piston; then the piston would quickly spin and connect the other end of the string to the first to form a loop. Afterwards, the loop would be pushed upward so that it would rise into the air; a test-object would sit on a platform above the loop and in the middle of its trajectory. Thus, the test-object would experience the space-time distortions of the loop as it passes around the test-object.

It was a difficult concept for Jeremy to concentrate on with the incessant cursing coming from Madison’s game.

“I just got to a cool part, though!” she complained and set her controller down on the lab meeting table. Leslie stiffly sat at the meeting table near Madison, trying not to get involved. She quietly typed the methods section of their scientific paper; they had finished their introduction the previous week.

“I don’t care what part you’re at,” Jeremy snapped, “The screen that animate’s IO’s facial expressions isn’t meant to play those annoying, never-ending, online games.”

“Oh, I guess you’re right,” Leslie interjected, “IO’s face and personality mostly comes from pixels on that screen! I’m not sure if I ever entirely… registered that in my head.” She tried to direct attention away from the conflict. 

Madison spoke back to Jeremy immediately, completely ignoring her attempt at restoring peace.

“That doesn’t make any sense, dude! I saw you play games on IO’s face all the time, when we were kids. Your games are still on here, I can see them right now!” she cried out.

“Kids?” Leslie asked.

Jeremy stepped away from his lab bench and strode over to Madison and IO, becoming increasingly irritated. Leopold glanced up at the commotion and removed his earbuds. He was sculpting a crude prototype part of the machine that would spin heat into the strings. He was at the same lab bench as Jeremy, but on the other side of the room. Jeremy leaving the bench in a hurry caught his attention from the corner of his eye.

“That’s because when I played games, I actually played simple ones with IO. I never made him run those monster-sized games that take a ton of CPU and just make him sit there and watch me the whole time. He’s not your personal play-thing,” he hissed.

Madison furrowed her brow and leaned back in surprise.

“Him?” she enunciated, “What do you mean ‘him?’ It’s a robot!”

“What’s the problem over there, kids?” Leopold called, unaware of the tension.

Jeremy stifled in shock at her response. To avoid embarrassment, he quickly unplugged her controller. The game powered down, and IO’s simple, pixelated circle eyes and macaroni shaped mouth reappeared on the screen. IO seemed relieved to have quit the program.

“Hey man, what the hell!” Madison blurted out, “I didn’t even get to save my progress!”

“So, build your own robot,” he said coldly, “Come on, IO. We have errands to run.”

Jeremy stormed out of the lab and turned down the hallway in the direction of the lobby. Madison looked between the two remaining lab members with an opened jaw and a look of disgust on her face. Leslie was visibly distraught, and Leopold sauntered to their table carefully.

“What a jerk!” she yelled.

“Okay, okay, everyone, let’s try to take a breath,” Leslie suggested, “We’ve been working really hard on this project lately; I’m sure he’s just stressed out and didn’t mean it, Madison. I’m stressed out, too, you know?”

“Yeah, well, that was one way to handle it,” she scoffed.

“Maybe since you don’t have that game to play anymore, you can focus more on your own work like us? Maybe study for your final exams. They’re just a few weeks from now, right?” Leslie offered.

Madison groaned.

“Dude, I was playing that game to specifically avoid all that stuff. All you ever want to do is work.”

“Hey kiddo,” Leopold said assertively. She spun around to face him. “How about you cool off with me for a bit? You can help us figure out how large of a chemical reaction we’re going to start with, when we’re testing our machine. We can test the reaction and watch it light up.”

Madison let out an audible sigh.

“Guess I’ve got nothin’ else to do now, anyway. Alright, Leo, let’s do it. Gimme your best explosives or whatever,” she said and rolled her eyes as she dragged herself in the direction of his work bench. 

Leslie exhaled her own stress out as she sat alone at her meeting table. Despite her efforts to bring everyone together, she somehow felt as if nothing would be enough. Perhaps she wasn’t as good of a friend or coworker as she thought.

[April 18th, 2018, 13:20]

Jeremy treaded through the lobby without batting an eye at Martha and B-lined for the robotics lab. He had been getting fed up with working on the piston, anyway; he didn’t have all the parts to keep it functional. The robotics lab often had pieces and parts to spare. Sophia wasn’t exactly a friend of his or anyone else’s in the Looney Lab, but she seemed to treat them fairly, in an economical sense. In a personal sense, she obviously had her opinions. But a few spare parts shouldn’t stir up that much trouble. As Jeremy approached the lab, he became confused at the sound of music. It sounded familiar. He peered into the robotics lab. It was a chaotic mess like it always was. Papers all over the tables, machines in mid-function, and a plethora of metallic limbs lying around. They were separated from their parent machines, and added to the clutter of the lab. 

Sounds of loud, distorted, punk-rock guitars strumming to rapidly beating drums filled the room. The only person inside was Andre. He was the one blaring music. He wore tight, black jeans, a striped burgundy and grey shirt with a solid, long-sleeved, black shirt underneath. Andre appeared to be preoccupied on a computer… playing that horrible game of Madison’s.

Jeremy sighed.

“Excuse me,” he projected his voice over the music. Andre turned to face him, smiled and gave a nod of acknowledgement.

“‘Sup, man!” he yelled over the music.

“Can you turn it down!?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah!” Andre agreed and lowered the music, “Sorry, sorry. Was playin’ this sweet game, and joined someone’s game nearby, but then they left. Guess they don’t want anyone else to know that they’re goofin’ off at work,” he laughed, “Whatcha need?” he asked, nonchalantly.

“I need a crankshaft for this piston that I’m putting together,” Jeremy replied, ignoring the rest of Andre’s commentary.

“Ahhhh, yeah, ya kinda need the piston to go up and down huh?” he joked, “So you’re really gettin’ that machine together? That’s cool, lemme see what I can find.”

Andre wandered all the way to the back of the lab, rifling through numerous cardboard boxes, kicking some out of the way. Jeremy rocked back and forth on his heels while he waited, hoping it would be over soon.

“Aha!” Andre yelled, “Here ya go!” he plopped himself in a desk chair on wheels and flung himself through an aisle in the lab, running over papers and bolts, until he reached Jeremy. Andre held a cardboard box full of crankshafts of various sizes in his lap.

“Any of these good for ya?” he asked.

Jeremy glanced through them, and, to his surprise, he did find one that would fit his piston. Eventually, he would need a piston with a circumference larger than most people, so that the cosmic loops were big enough to circle the person in the machine. For the time being, a small piston would do, because the test-objects were considerably smaller. Andre smirked and reached out to IO, who had been standing behind Jeremy’s leg.

“Hey there, little man, good to see ya again! Gimme some skin?” he posed, holding his hand out and palm up, “Or, I guess, gimme some metal?”

IO emoted a smile on its screen and gave Andre a high-five, after warming up to the environment again. Jeremy glimpsed between them, as his attention was torn away from the crankshaft.

“You two are… acquainted?” he asked.

“Oh yeah,” Andre said, “He was here for a long enough time for us to share a moment or two. He liked my other boys, too. Too bad I gotta perform a bit more maintenance on them right now, otherwise they’d be up and about.”

IO sounded a high-pitched, twinkle-like beep for Andre. He wore a goofy grin and pointed to IO.

“That mean he likes me?”

“Uh, yes, actually,” Jeremy responded, feeling entirely caught off-guard again. He felt his aggravation fading. “You call IO and your robots ‘he’, too?”

“Yeah! That’s just the way I see ‘em, though. But they don’t mind.”

“I always called IO an ‘it’ because he’s a robot.”

“You just called him a ‘he,’” Andre corrected.

“Oh…” Jeremy hesitated, “I guess I did. I haven’t been sure what to use, recently.”

“Just whatever feels right, man,” he said, “To you, or to IO, I should say.”

Jeremy hummed and kneeled down to IO.

“What do you think, IO? Do you like ‘it’ or ‘him’ more?” he asked.

IO flashed grey lights from the bulbs on its head. Jeremy smiled, having been surprised for the third time within the hour.

“You don’t care?” he asked.

IO confirmed.

“Huh… I didn’t know that. Well… maybe I’ll go back and forth then, if that’s okay.”

IO flashed blue lights, expressing contentment. Jeremy stood back up.

“Well… thanks. Maybe, uh, well, I’d like to meet your… robots—machines—when they’re operational again.”

“Oh, sure, I’d be happy to introduce you,” he waved away the request.

“…So I can just take whichever crankshaft I want?” Jeremy asked.

“Yeah, go for it, ya don’t see me usin’ them,” he chuckled, “Just keep this deal on the DL. Don’t want you-know-who findin’ out.”

Jeremy frowned and pointed to a crankshaft. Andre gestured for him to pick it up. He squinted at Andre and turned his nose up at him, suspiciously.

“You’re not like Sophia, are you,” he wondered.

“Nah,” Andre snorted, “Although, I will need something in return before you take the crank with ya.”

Jeremy sighed.

“There’s always a price,” he mumbled.

“I just need you to take this other box of junk to Martha in the lobby,” Andre said, “Sophia spring-cleaned her office the other day and put all the stuff she didn’t want in the box. Told me to take whatever I wanted and give the rest to reception.”

“Oh. That’s it?” Jeremy replied.

“Yyyyyup. That’s all. I just don’t wanna walk over there. So just do that, come right back, get your crank, and you’re good to go.”

“Huh,” Jeremy paused, “Okay. Can I take anything from that box, if I find something I like?”

“Bit of a glutton there, huh, Jeremy Brilliant?” he jested, “Sure, sure, makes no difference to me. Just, ya know, not to state the obvious, but don’t tell Sophia about this either. Ya know?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Andre spun in his chair, reached underneath a nearby desk and traded the crankshaft box for a flimsy box that was half filled with office supplies. Paper clips, pencils, erasers, a stapler, stacks of unopened paper, a pair of scissors, and various other supplies. Jeremy left Andre, IO, and his crankshaft in the lab. On his way to Martha’s desk, he shuffled the box around in his arms. He kept glancing through the contents and stole a permanent marker or two. There was a pack of sticky index tabs and a pack of orange Post-It notes. He set the box down on the reception desk. Martha glanced at him and smiled.

“Hey there, darling, how’s the research going? You sure were walking with a purpose earlier!”

“It’s okay,” he said, still looking into the box. “We’ve made progress. I just hope we’ll make enough of it to be worthwhile. I brought you this box from the robotics lab,” he said, distractedly. Jeremy felt as if something was happening. Some sort of vague… shift.

“Well, thank you, sweetheart! You’re not switching labs, are you?”

He couldn’t take his eyes off the sticky notes. He reached in, picked them up and held them up in the air to examine them.

“No,” he responded, simply.

Martha frowned and her eyes bounced left and right at the peculiar behaviour.

“Do you… use sticky notes a lot?”

“Not really.”

“Do… you want to take those ones?”

Jeremy shook himself out of a dazed trance. He didn’t want to let the pack go.

“Uh. Would you mind?” he asked.

“No, ‘course not,” she snorted, “You seem like you’d get more use out of them, anyway!”

“Huh… yeah. Thanks.”

“…You’re welcome, oddball!” she chuckled, uncomfortably.

The pack of Post-It notes felt indistinctly familiar. He couldn’t explain it. He rarely used sticky notes, and wasn’t particularly fond of the colour orange. Was it déjà vu? Martha tried once again to shake him back to reality.

“So, what were you doing in the robotics lab?” she asked.

It worked. Jeremy put the pack of sticky notes in his back pocket and refocussed himself onto her.

“Uh, right. I was, uh, looking for something to go with this piston that I’m reassembling in the lab. I’m trying to modify it so it will push up and down like it’s supposed to, but also spin at a high velocity,” he explained, sheepishly.

“Oh, so you’re making a new kind of tool?” she probed.

“Sort of. Mostly just making a few small changes.”

“Well, I’ll have to keep in touch for updates! You go on and get back to work, now. I wouldn’t want to keep you!”

“Thanks. See you around.”

Jeremy walked back into the robotics lab to find Andre showing IO the game that he was playing when they first walked in. Andre acknowledged him as he wandered up next to IO.

“You can take the crankshaft whenever you want, man. Thanks again for the favour!” Andre said.

Jeremy dug through the box again and retrieved the correct size. Seeing that Andre and IO were both absorbed in the game, he felt compelled to wait. He watched the game for a moment, and then his curiosity got the best of him.

“Andre,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“I want to ask you something.”

“I’m all ears.”

He seemed pretty agreeable for not even knowing what the question was.

“What do you think of Sophia?”

Andre paused the game. His natural half-smile, and carefree spirit seemed to subside. He took a deep breath, and spun his chair ninety degrees to face Jeremy. IO backed up so it wasn’t between them.

“Why are you asking me?” he cross-examined.

“Does it matter?”

“Is this for your own knowledge, or somebody else’s?” Andre pressed.

“It’s my own curiosity. I know there is something going on with her and Leopold. I don’t know what it is, and it isn’t necessarily my business. But it’s clear that she has a problem with him. Or a need to get under his skin. It’s almost vindictive. But you are nothing like that, from the looks of it. And yet, you work here. Why?” Jeremy laid his cards on the table.

Andre chuckled to himself.

“Well, I’m glad that I look non-vindictive. To tell you the truth, Jeremy, I don’t know much about it either. All I could really do for you is speculate. From my perspective, seems like Leopold and his lab are bad for business. Makes the university look foolish, and undermines everyone else’s work by association. Since Sophia is in a position where she is managing everyone’s work, maybe she holds a grudge to Dr. Looney for making her job unnecessarily hard?”

“Seems corrupted. Why hasn’t The Board of Research stepped in? Or human resources? Isn’t that technically a hostile work environment?”

“Yeah, probably. But the higher-ups hired Sophia themselves. Supposedly she’s buddy-buddy with someone up there. And honestly, she’s been a great manager for the rest of the labs. Not to mention that most other labs probably feel frustrated just like her because they feel that they are missing opportunities for funding because Dr. Looney works here. He’s been workin’ on that time travel stuff for a long time, and his last presentation to The Board really solidified the reputation he has now. At least that’s what I’ve heard from the people that still work here from back then,” Andre elaborated.

“And so… why do you work under her?” Jeremy reminded him of the original question.

Andre sighed.

“Listen, I’m not going to defend Sophia’s actions. But I don’t want to throw her under the bus, either. We met when we were both enrolled at the university, actually. We were both part of the Fellowship of Minorities in STEM. It was my first year, her last year, and she showed me around. Introduced me to faculty and showed me the ropes. Later, I came to work here with her, and when I got my degree last year, I was hired to be a full-time employee. And, well, I’m sure you know what happened after. She got promoted and now… I guess we’re lookin’ for a new Principal Investigator? One of the higher-ups used to be the PI, and it’s just kind of been handed down. Maybe since he’s still around, they’re trying to hold off on hiring someone else,” he snickered, “Maybe I can work an angle and get a raise.”

“So she’s done good things for you,” Jeremy summarized.

“Pretty much, yeah. I just feel like I owe her something. Some grace. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life… and she really helped me figure it out. I was the first in my family to even go to college. I wasn’t even sure it would work out, let alone graduate? Work in a laboratory? I mean, I’m workin’ on robotic prosthetics! How fuckin’ cool is that?!”

Andre’s eyes widened and he covered his mouth.

“Oh, oh, sorry,” he quickly interrupted himself, “That was unprofessional.”

Jeremy shrugged.

“I don’t care. I’m used to it.”

Andre relaxed after seeing how little Jeremy was phased, though he thought it peculiar. He tried to steer the conversation away from his mistake.

“Long story short,” he said, “she helped me make my dream of being a first generation college graduate a reality. And I’ve made it farther in life than I ever thought I could. So… that’s why I work here.”

“…Can I ask you one more question?” Jeremy said.

Andre laughed and leaned back in his chair with a sigh.

“What, you don’t want to wait until my life story comes out on DVD?”

Jeremy ignored the joke.

“Why did you answer all my questions? You could have just ignored me or refused. Why let someone you hardly know ask you so many things?”

Andre let out a humorous breath.

“What can I say, I’m an open book, man. I’m cool with hangin’ out with just about anybody. But ya have to tell people about yourself if ya want ‘em to stick around, ya know?”

“You do?”

Andre snorted.

“Uh, yeah! If people go years without knowing anything about you, you’re pretty much just a stranger. At best an acquaintance. So I tell people about me, especially if they ask! Ya never know who’s gonna like what they hear, and keep comin’ back.”

Jeremy furrowed his brow, nodding his head at the information. He hummed and cleared his throat.

“Uh, thanks… Andre,” he croaked, “I appreciate your honesty.”

“S’what it’s all about, man. Now get outta here, go do your fancy time stuff. I’ll see ya next time ya need a crankshaft!” he joked.

“O—Okay. Goodbye,” Jeremy said abruptly, and cued IO to follow him.

The two of them headed out into the hall and began walking back to the Looney Lab with the crankshaft. Jeremy had not expected… any of that to happen. The day seemingly never ceased to shock him. Still, for a reason unbeknownst to him, he felt a bit happier. Perhaps the time away from Madison did it. Although, Andre was quite bizarre. He would have never guessed he’d be so talkative. At least not to Jeremy. IO beeped to get his attention. Jeremy glimpsed down to see IO displaying a silly smile on its screen, looking up at him. He snorted.

“What’s that look for?”

IO blinked playful yellow and pink lights at him like a carnival ride.

“Oh hush,” he nervously laughed, “I was just curious. I only went there for the crankshaft, that’s it.”

The lights shifted to teal and orange.

“You can think what you want,” he sputtered, “But the only thing I got out of that was the crankshaft. Come on, we’ve still got lots of research to do.”

IO let out a high-pitched hum that sunk to a low one that resembled a youthful, disappointed “Okaaaay…”

As Jeremy advanced toward the doors of the Looney Lab, his raw feelings of relief began to fade. He remembered the unsolved issues with Madison, the quickly approaching deadlines for their research, and the mountain of work that was waiting for him. His body felt heavier and worn. The events of the day had already jerked him around through all kinds of feelings. He resorted to his most comfortable, neutral disposition once again.

[nonevahed]

A short online biography

Note: originally an essay written for English class.  Final project is to submit revisions on four of my pieces, so any comments are apprciated.

Over the years after I received first computer in 2nd grade, online communities played an increasingly important role in my life.  It began with only the occasional visit, to forums about Pokemon, or Star Wars.  As I moved to a new home in [city], and no longer had friends that lived in my neighborhood, the frequency of my visits to these forums would increase.  I would discover fan fiction, and dive into further tales of the worlds I loved, even if said tales tended to be of low quality.  And yet, for some reason, for those first few formative years, I never participated in these communities.  Maybe, I felt that my young mind had nothing to contribute.  Maybe, I took to heart my mom’s ridiculous paranoia about Strangers on the Internet.  Maybe, of all the rules in the world to pay attention to, I took seriously that clause in the terms of services of most websites about not signing up until you’re thirteen. No matter how it happened, I ended up learning the habit of being silent and watching.  

Sometime in 6th grade, I stumbled across the forum Civfanatics.  I got into following a particular series of forum roleplaying games, where they’d play as created countries instead of people.  The rules were generally more about enabling conflict resolution than power gaming; the meat of the game was in creating and developing the story of a nation, and in negotiating with the other players.  The writing was usually of rather low quality (not that my younger self minded), but the real fun was in seeing how the various creative visions of all these players meshed together into one world, like a thousand little colored square pixels coming together to form an image.  Here, a political thriller of backstabbing and betrayal, there a comedy of a joke nation based on a meme.  It was the joy of watching all these little amateur writers, people who I could identify with, come together to form this shared , creating narrative from the twin drivers of the dealings between the players, and the stories they told about their world.  Eventually, after a few months spent staring into the screen, pouring over game after game, I built up the courage to join, and enjoyed playing, for a few months.  The sense of community, of friendship, of joining in the communal project, and continuing on to chat in the chatrooms about the games, politics, lives, was joyous.  

  However, when doing homework, it was so easy to just go off and wander elsewhere on the internet, scrolling through Wikipedia, or TvTropes, or reading new fan fiction, and then by the time I finished my homework and was ready to start writing, it was 10.  And so, eventually, I’d let the game slip a turn.  And then I’d feel embarrassed for not coming through on the work I was doing with my alliance partners, or just feel frustrated over the whole thing, and miss another turn.  And then I’d leave.  I think this first happened around the beginning of 7th grade.  I would try and come back after a year or so, then after two years, wasting massive amounts of time reading archives of the games I wanted to join before actually joining.  But, then, I’d eventually get bored of doing the work after a few turns, and leave once again.  And so, I let the community I sunk so much time into, where I’d even started to make friendships, slip away from my fingers.

Over the years since then, I’ve spent countless hours reading through the logs of various roleplaying groups, various forums, and so on and so forth.  Occasionally, I’d try to get involved, but I’d usually end up not producing or saying much of anything, never having the energy to put forth sustained effort, or feeling like I had something to add.  You only get back what you put in, after all.  In 9th grade, I’d get into playing Diplomacy on a small GMed server, and start to get to know the regulars a bit, but it wasn’t the same kind of collaboration as back on Civfanatics.  And it would eventually be rendered moot by the hand problems I picked up during the summer of 10th grade.   In 10th grade, I would get into following a tumblr and blogging community focused around philosophy, politics, and technology, which I found I enjoyed reading.  The extreme diversity of viewpoints, and the relatively high caliber of discussion, made for interesting discoveries.  And yet, once more, I’d end up not participating very much.  I usually felt like I didn’t have anything original to add, and on top of that my hand problems discouraged me from writing unless I really, really felt the urge.

In 11th grade, I would become big fan of the anime Legend of the Galactic Heroes.  With the deep themes and length of the show, and the relatively small English-language fandom, I finally was in a community where I felt like I really had something to contribute, that there were topics to discuss that hadn’t been done to death by better writers, where I could really have conversations with people.  And there weren’t deadlines to get stuff in by.  And so, I would write a little.  I would have some conversations.  I finally had ideas of things I wanted to write, analysis, that didn’t feel already done, or stupid.  And yet, when I’d finally really hit off on somewhere where I wanted to contribute, my hand problems discouraged it.

And so, finally, we come to the present day.   With the end of the college rush and the slight improvement in my hand problems, I’ve started really writing again.  I’ve had ideas building up in my head for the past year, for once ideas that I feel are worth expressing, and I want to finally get them on paper, instead of letting them rot away in my head.  I want to speak my thoughts aloud, to be part of a community, instead of just a consumer and a lurker.  I don’t believe that internet socialization, internet friendships are necessarily any weaker than those forged in real life.  I’ve seen many close friendships bloom on the internet; in fact, some of my friends at [prep school] have themselves made friendships this way.  The problem of my interaction with the internet, with my great wastes of time, is not something in the nature of the internet, but rather a flaw in the way I’ve approached it, as an observer, consumer, eternal.

[geek-gem]

Warning Major Spoilers for Five Nights At Freddy’s Sister Location. Also the custom night ending cutscene music is playing again on the wiki. Well it and now it just stopped the music. Yet yeah major spoilers and I’m gonna talk a bit and used Bing to get these images, none of them belong to me, used Pixlr, but I’ll just start on this and paste this here.

“Father. It’s me, Michael. I did it. I found it. It was right where you said it would be. They were all there. They didn’t recognize at first but then they thought I was you. And I found her. I put her back together, just like you asked me to. She’s free now. But something is wrong with me. I should be dead. But I’m not. I’ve been living in shadows. There is only one thing left for me to do now. I’m going to come find you. I’m going to come find you.”

Fake Movie Meme. Five Nights At Freddy’s Sister Location. Andrew Garfield(The Social Network, The Amazing Spider-Man 1 & 2, Hacksaw Ridge, and Silence) as Michael Afton AKA Eggs Benedict. Ben Affleck(Gone Girl, Argo, Batman V Superman Dawn Of Justice, and The Accountant) as William Afton.

Also on a silly note all Animatronics voiced by their voice actors in game and maybe PJ Heywood still in some way.

I’m making this on DeviantArt this info I’m gonna copy and paste it to when I post this on Tumblr. But I’ve been wanting to make a Fake Movie Meme of Sister Location for quite some time. Today I felt like I wanna make this cause the ideas and emotion behind Sister Location and how the FNAF lore is now.

Also please I’m agreeing with some theories and some of my own yet do not wanna steal any. But please do not be rude about my thoughts cause these are mainly mine.

Over time with the custom night mode being released and the Golden Freddy Ending, the FNAF lore I think changed a lot. Introducing or mainly finally Scott Cawthon the creator of the series revealing the name of the character we play as in Sister Location as he mentioned of what happens with Eggs Benedict. The new character is Michael Afton, who shares the same name as William Afton the supposed Purple Guy or killer with his name revealed in the novel FNAF The Silver Eyes in that universe, with possibly Scott hinting the same killer exists in the game’s universe but this time with a family. With theories highly suggesting he’s the father of the two brothers from FNAF4 and also confirmed in a way the father of the girl from that speaks between nights of Sister Location. Along with appearing in the Circus Baby mini game.

I’m gonna say it, with a lot of the thing I like, I love the FNAF series. I feel kind of stupid that I’m quite scared to play these games and need to play on my other computer some time. Even seeing Sister Location I’m saying this and I think I might of said this but it’s my favorite. Mainly for the fact with it’s story being revealed more and more about who we are playing as. Along with what is going on with the lore.

Over the months just the reveal of Michael Afton and the idea he could be Springtrap is something truly changing for the lore. Including the idea of the story and what Scott could be hinting at. Along with just with me being fan of a lot of stuff. I’m glad I’m a FNAF fan and won’t stop. Because I feel Sister Location might of increased a bit. It’s also amazing for some silly stuff my own personal stuff of having my own version of FNAF in a universe with the canon Steven Universe and The Loud House, along with some Twisted Metal. But that’s another story. Mainly I respect Scott, yes the lore is a mess now. Yet I’ve got my own thoughts of what the timeline could be, but with Sister Location again I seem to like FNAF a lot more.

Which also showed when I was acting so crazy excited like Arin Hanson when the sequel to FNAF The Silver Eyes titled The Twisted Ones when it’s cover and story were revealed. That’s how I’m so engrossed into this series, along with meeting some nice people, and a whole bunch of other things. It’s amazing I never expected to be a fan but I’m glad I’m a fan.

Sorry was trying to get to a point. Yet I should just talk about the casting. Including should mention I’ve made Fake Movie Meme’s before but I do not like my older FNAF Fake Movie Meme’s and wanna remake them. I do still have them thinking maybe might post them to show this is my old works. But will replace them with newer versions. Also the fact the lore has changed quite a bit.

Along with over time I’m a bit serious with casting. Even if a lot of the characters faces and voices are not revealed, it’s fun thinking of what they seem like and love many versions. Including with a show like Riverdale which I do like and other things. I’m not the biggest movie fan yet will see many movies if I can. I do like the art of film making or just the idea of making a story.

Also wanted to put Michael first instead of William cause I keep seeing as Michael as a main focus. Including just saying did save a picture of Ballora when she first appeared in the first trailer forgot I had the part with the Scooping Room cause it’s an important part. Put Funtime Freddy and wanted Bon Bon to be seen cause people love them and their voice actor a bunch of lol’s three.

I’ve had these castings for a while.

For Andrew Garfield even if his voice is indeed not the same as PJ Heywood who voiced both Michael and William. Yet he’s British and yeah being silly or whatever, yet looks like he could be a live action version of the pixel version of Michael as seen in the custom night mini games.

But just saying I kind of have this man crush on Andrew Garfield. Yet his work in films that aren’t just The Amazing Spider-Man films since Sony messed with them. He’s shown he can be a really good actor, who can show raw emotion and other things. Including his passion with film and his acting could be great for Michael and I’ve always tried to have Andrew whenever I’m making FNAF castings. Mainly cause he’s a great person but also a great actor at that. I honestly feel he could play what I think and people have theorized a young man who has lost things in the past, willing to put his own life in danger and what his father told him. Along with the theory that him being the older brother from FNAF4 which I’m going with cause it makes sense, causing him over the years being depressed and hating himself yet trying to be a great person. Along with wanting to get his sister back in some way of saving her. Including being an very emotional man who used to respect and idolize his father but over time grew to hate him cause of all the things that happened.

It’s unknown how old Michael is, I’ve been thinking he’s older then all of the guards in the games but I do not know. I keep imaging as a guy mainly in his mid 20’s or even late 20’s, was thinking of early 30’s but gonna stick with early or late 20’s.

I’m just gonna link the wiki thing for Michael since it’s still here. http://fnaf-sister-location.wikia.com/wiki/Michael_Afton

For Ben Affleck and this is a choice Bluewolfavenger made for his fake Netflix FNAF series, “You Can’t” that focuses on the history of the timeline and the Purple Guy. Even if Ben does not have the voice a bit or he can get it right. It’s not as British as PJ Heywood’s as he was heard voicing William in the intro of the game. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5GTXaEfA7M

Yet I’ve been imagining and I’ve seen great versions of William artists have made. Their seems to be this mindset I seen for William. I’m gonna say this I do not like Batman V Superman Dawn Of Justice a whole lot. Yet Ben’s acting as Bruce Wayne kind of shows this a bit. I remembering mentioning the, “You Can’t” fake trailer and I rather have Ben Affleck be the Purple Guy for some reason in this DeviantArt journal talking about Ben Affleck leaving the director chair for the upcoming Batman film.

He puts on a performance showcasing a grown man a business man who on the outside seems pretty okay. Yet he has something dark within him, he hides secrets and he’s done some dark shit in the past. Along with being a man who created some animatronic made to kill kids which are Circus Baby, Ballora, Funtime Freddy, Funtime Foxy, also their little minions. Yet this results in the death of William’s daughter and the grand opening of Circus Baby’s Pizza World to stop and instead become a rental service to send out these animatronics to parties. It’s unknown whether he feels regret of what happened to his daughter. Yet it seems like he does not care much for his children. Seriously Ben might make a good William Afton. On a silly note, just photoshop his suit where he’s Bruce Wayne make them purple and I’m being silly.

It’s unknown of how old William is. Yet over time I’ve had this mindset that William is ether in his 30’s to 40’s to 50’s. Mainly over time he gets older. Just I’m thinking about the timeline and my versions too.

Also for some reason wanna see Andrew Garfield and Ben Affleck just acting together on screen and them playing a torment young man haunted by his past, and his father who has done many hideous acts yet does not show it a bit, would take control of his son wanting love and respect from his father. Or the fact Michael would need to talk to some one yet father might praise him for killing his brother even if Michael did not mean to do that. I do not know just something. Some family stuff between those two yet you get these two do not like each other, quite the conflict.

Just saying I’m gonna link and did go there but it was the archive of Bluewolfavenger on Tumblr. Will show you lol Will but gonna show you his FNAF works on his FNAF account. http://blue-wolf-avenger.tumblr.com/ First it was some 1 2 y 3 thing but their is the home page showcasing Ben Affleck as the Purple Guy or in this case William Afton.

Also just this trailer music……can we have this just I do not have the skills or stuff to make fake movie trailers. But gosh damn keep thinking about my own FNAF stuff and just wanting to use this music for a FNAF Netflix tv series that includes Sister Location. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rAv5zgtsmM

You know I keep thinking about Michael and William and how the Afton’s are very important such as a some what stupid show title The Afton’s but Henry and Charlie from FNAF The Silver Eyes are important too, with Henry being the founder and owner of both, “Fredbear’s Family Diner”, and, “Freddy Fazbears Pizza” and Charlie the main character of the novel and the upcoming novel The Twisted Ones almost put eyes instead of ones….please don’t die Charlie……I like Charlie and the other characters from the novel.

I’m gonna put tags for this just saying mates

edit put fake movie meme tag lol rag typo mate

[recentanimenews]

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Video Games of 2019

Welcome to the second part of our annual “Staff Picks,” in which the Ani-Gamers team selects some of our favorite anime, manga, and video games of the past year. This time we’re talking video games!

As usual there are a lot of games to cover, and between our two contributors we weren’t able to play nearly as many of them as we’d like. This year saw two standout first-party Nintendo RPGs, including the first-ever original core-series Pokémon games on a home console, the long-awaited release of Hideo Kojima’s inscrutable Death Stranding, a new AAA Star Wars action game (Jedi: Fallen Order), and both Outer Worlds and Outer Wilds. Meanwhile, last year’s big story of game industry unionization has continued to make headlines, notably at the Game Developer’s Conference in the spring, where major industry figures publically expressed their support for unionization. And that’s not the only area where politics had a big impact on gaming in 2019 — Blizzard’s suspension of Blitzchung over his support for the Hong Kong protests highlighted the contradiction between the values held by game industry workers (including pro players) and their bosses. As uncomfortable as these conversations are, they’re vital for building a more ethical industry.

In terms of the games themselves, many of them didn’t make it out of our piles of shame in time for the Staff Picks, but the ones that made the cut cover a wide range of genres, including complex action games, extremely anime JRPGs, and obtuse puzzlers. Enjoy, and feel free to chime in with your own 2019 picks in the comments.

David Estrella

#3: Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

The hardest part about Sekiro was mending my relationship with my podcast co-host after debating the ethical conundrum of difficult video games and being made to look like a prick on tape. I’m completely making up what happened so don’t ban me from the site, Evan. Levity aside, the irony is that I never actually finished Sekiro and gave up at an endgame optional boss. A far departure from both Dark Souls and Bloodborne, From Software’s katana-focused revenge story did a Shinobi Execution to my hundreds of hours of experience and I was forced to learn everything over again. Some people really got on board with the action-focused gameplay whereas I flunked out of samurai school, so Sekiro is only the third-best pick from me on my list. If there had been more lore to pick up off the ground, I probably would have finished it, but I think everyone’s favorite fantasy author, George R.R. Martin, has me covered with Elden Ring, which will definitely be closer to what I expect from Hidetaka Miyazaki than what I got from Sekiro.

#2: Resident Evil 2

I originally wrote in Fire Emblem: Three Houses in here but I never finished that game in 2019. Resident Evil 2 (2019) on the other hand is a game I beat again and again throughout the year when I should have been focusing on other games (like Fire Emblem). First released on PlayStation over 20 years ago, the RE2 remake takes every great bit from that classic and reimagines it in the new engine used for Resident Evil 7. Fighting to survive Raccoon City’s zombie apocalypse again with Leon S. Kennedy and Claire Redfield in a game rebuilt for modern standards is not something I expected to see, but I suppose Capcom didn’t want to be shown up by Square Enix reviving the 32-bit era with the upcoming episodic Final Fantasy VII remakes. Conveniently enough, now that I’ve played RE2 inside out, we’re already getting the Resident Evil 3 remake in April, so now I’ve got one more good reason to put off finishing a single run of Fire Emblem in my lifetime.

#1: Pokémon Sword & Shield

No one should be surprised that I would call Pokémon Sword and Shield my top pick of the year. The only purpose for me doing this is to get it in writing but otherwise, yes, I really loved this iteration of the series. The reasons why I enjoyed it so much have practically nothing to do with the hyped-up gimmicks like Dynamax battles or the shift to console. On the one hand, things like story and environment design could have been much better, and on the other hand, I never want to go back to the old games after experiencing all of the quality-of-life changes made in Sword and Shield. Details that casual players won’t care about or ever become aware of like paying for max EVs with vitamins or using mints to change Natures have completely changed the game for anyone serious about raising Pokémon. If I were asked if these improvements were worth losing over 400 Pokémon from the roster, I would probably cry. Maybe. Maybe it was worth it.

Evan Minto

#3: Katana Zero

I played Superhot on a VR rig once, and it was the closest I ever felt to being a real-life action hero. In that game, “time moves when you do,” allowing you to plan out elaborate, perfectly executed lethal maneuvers in Matrix-esque bullet time. Katana Zero applies a similar concept to the 2-D action-platformer. You play as a samurai assassin in a dystopian cyberpunk future, equipped with a power that allows you to rewind time when you die and slow it down while in combat. The former is mostly experienced as a simple respawn mechanic, but the latter is what turns Katana Zero into a unique hybrid of a puzzle and action game. Each room is filled with bad guys who can one-hit kill you, sometimes so many that defeating them all would be impossible using standard action game timing. Slowing things down, however, turns the game into a sort of puzzle, and allows you to link up dashes, wall jumps, sword slashes, and projectile throws in the span of a second or two. When the game plays the room back in real time, you really do feel like some kind of superhero. It doesn’t hurt that the whole thing is wrapped up in an impeccable audiovisual package, featuring intricately animated pixel art, pulsing electronic music, and a clever dialogue display system that combines animated and colored text. The story is pretty standard stuff for the genre, but the surprisingly funny dialogue does a great job cutting the melodrama. It’s nothing groundbreaking, but Katana Zero is a clever, well-crafted little action game.

#2: Baba Is You

I tried Baba Is You for the first time at a friend’s place, and was instantly sold. After just a few levels, I told him, “this is a game for game designers.” The core mechanic is deceptively, deviously simple: the rules defining how the game world operates are blocks within the world, and you can rearrange them. The early levels are straightforward, if abstract, plays on this concept. Form the sentence “Flag is win” and you’ve got a win condition. Break up the sentence “Wall is stop” and voila: walls are no longer an obstacle. It’s when Baba Is You takes the core mechanic and folds it in on itself repeatedly, however, that this puzzler reaches the realm of obtuse, mind-bending complexity. You can change which sprite represents the player character, or even control multiple players at once. You can separate sprites into layers that prevent them from intersecting with each other. Even the words that form the sentences themselves can be modified! Baba Is You sometimes reaches nearly impossible levels of difficulty, but since you can choose the order in which to try the puzzles, the game will never stop you dead in your tracks. This kind of bizarre, postmodern weirdness is exactly what I come to indie games for.

#1: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I never even finished the easiest half of Fire Emblem: Fates (Birthright), but I was glued to Awakening on the DS, my introduction to the franchise. In Three Houses Nintendo and Intelligent Systems aren’t even pretending that Fire Emblem is anything but a dating sim; you play as a part-time professor, part-time general, and the tactical RPG battles are interlaced with segments where you have to run around your home base talking to all of your students/units (fully voiced this time). At first this cumbersome back-and-forth, combined with a bevy of new combat mechanics, can make Three Houses feel like a game trapped between two conflicting identities, but after a few hours it clicked for me. All of the game’s seemingly mismatched systems, from the battalions to the tea parties, talk to and reinforce each other. Building relationships between your units boosts their stats and opens up opportunities to train them in new skills, all of which make them more effective in battle. Then their battle experience alongside their comrades feeds right back into their relationships. These mechanics have been around in some form since at least Awakening, but here they meld together like never before. Three Houses is a bewildering and sometimes overcomplicated successor to the Fire Emblem legacy, but the whole mess somehow comes together into a spellbinding experience.

Check out our 2019 Manga Staff Picks as well!

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Video Games of 2019 originally appeared on Ani-Gamers on January 8, 2020 at 4:58 PM.

By: David Estrella