#I'd like to stop having anger issues this would probably help. It's not even anger issues proper cause it doesn't really. Present like that.
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cenorii Ā· 1 year ago
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Indifference and Excella
Today I'd like to talk about an issue like indifference and its consequences. But we won't talk about whether it's bad or not, I just want to discuss how Excella's indifference changed the history of all the following games.
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Excella had known Wesker since about 2003, but had been directly close to him since about 2006, when she gained control of Tricell Inc. From 2006 to 2009, she was close to him, through which she began to experience romantic feelings that blinded her critical thinking. But even without the crush, she was indifferent to what kind of person he was, and that probably always annoyed him in people (Wesker's second report states how he hates people who elevate others only for their background and not for their personal accomplishments. Excella exalted Wesker perhaps not even for his research but for his looks, that is, she did not read between the lines at all and did not pay attention to who was actually standing in front of her).
Being indifferent to his personality, she did not notice at all, so unstable man was next to her. The object of her lust had a huge bouquet of psychological problems and inferiority complexes, which he hid behind a mask of calmness.
However, even this mask gave a crack in re5, you can tell by the animation of the sudden outburst of anger.
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But while in re5 he's angry because his plan is slowly falling apart, in the Lost in Nightmares DLC, it's much deeper than that...
He just learned the truth about his life, and his anger is probably directed at that fact. He's angry at the truth and the fact that his past continues to haunt him (Chris and Jill). His past in the form of Umbrella, who he ran away from, has also caught up with him again, turning out to be the truth he had to face. Because of his pretense and ā€œcalmā€ image, he never learned to deal with his emotions, and I'm surprised that Excella never noticed it, since he must have been angry when the cockroaches mutated on his ship.
Based on all of this, Excella hasn't been paying attention to the fact that the person next to her isn't what she thinks he is. Chris is blind to Wesker's psychological problems too and he is clearly not the person who would suggest he go to a psychiatrist, but he, unlike Excella, has good reasons for this. For example, he's blinded by his resentment toward Wesker (for the mansion, for kidnapping Jill, and so on), he's also blinded by hatred. But Excella treated Wesker well, was directly next to him, and still missed the fact that everything in his character screams that he needs help.
Yes, if someone had offered him psychological help, he obviously wouldn't have liked it, but he would have realized anyway that someone had shown him attentiveness. He would have felt that someone cares about something much deeper in him than his external image, and maybe that would have made a difference.
Just imagine that ONE caring person could have changed the course of further history by showing of the right attention. Especially if this person had appeared long before re5, for example in 2006, when Wesker was the most psychologically unstable because he learned the truth from Spencer. Feeling that someone didn't just sympathize with him, but wanted to help him deal with an deep problem, perhaps he would have made other decisions in the future.
After all, in fact, Wesker is not so much interested in Uroboros and power, as in getting people from it who would be equal to him and consider him. His main problem is a sense of detachment, as if he is superfluous, different from everyone else as a white crow, and so he needs a society made up of white crows like him. He strives to stop feeling "different". And for the sake of this, he has made the mistaken decision to ā€œmake others like himā€, because he considers "ordinary" people unworthy.
However, he turns a blind eye to the fact that all these people he considers unworthy have a chance to merge with Uroboros and become like him. So it's the same "unworthy" people, just in a different cover, you know? This is another fact that proves that he doesn't care what kind of people will become the Uroboros users, he wants that they just exist. It's important to him that there are people like him.
And if just ONE person in his past had shown genuine empathy for his personality, advising him to see a specialist, maybe the whole RE story would have gone differently. There would be no Jill kidnapping, no Uroboros, no biological weapons and the organizations responsible for them, because Wesker, based on his words, is disgusted by war and pestilence. There would be no reason for him to do all this and pursue his dream through the dirty ways. His dream are of a world without decadence, a utopia where there is no destruction. And biological weapons are precisely the tools of war, pestilence and destruction. If he had other goals, Wesker would have gone up against BOW, and knowing how well he was able to counter his competitors, the bioterrorists wouldn't stand a chance.
Let's not forget that Wesker developed many weapons against bioweapons, the blueprints for which were later found by Blue Umbrella ("Albert System Weapon"). So even being a bioterrorist involuntarily, he developed means against BOW, indirectly speaking out against his own work
Draw your own conclusions, I was just sharing my thoughts on indifference and how Excella's blind love contributed to the situation <3
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vampyrixdarling Ā· 1 year ago
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hi hi! I'd like to request some general relationship headcanons with Scourge!! This vile man does not have enough fics about him, and that is a CRIME.
— 怌Scourge the Hedgehog relationship headcanons怍
ā•°ā”ˆāž¤ MASTERLIST
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Scourge the Hedgehog x reader (NB/Fem reader)
Summary: General relationship headcanons with Scourge.
Warnings: intended gender neutral reader (although there are feminine pet names), anger issues, arguments, mentions of addiction, mentions of Scourge’s terrible childhood, despite the heavy topics mentioned there is still fluff.
Author's Note: I was cooking with these headcanons.. He’s so fun to write lowkey
Word Count: 1345
Likes/Reblogs are always appreciated!! <3
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ā˜† There are so many ways this can go. It’s either you went into this relationship with the ā€œI can fix him mindsetā€ and he ended up making you worse, or you make each other worse. There is no in between.
ā˜† Either way, he treats you good. If you ever want anything, he will get it for you no questions asked. Mainly through thievery or the odd robbing. He loves to spoil you whenever possible, and also loves to show you off. He’s so proud he managed to pull someone like you, and he’ll be sure to show off and boast.
ā˜† I think he likes PDA for the sole purpose of letting everyone know you’re his. He constantly has his arms around you, holding you close into a bit of a side hug. That, or he has a hand in the back pocket of your jeans. Of course, he’ll stop immediately if you express your discomfort. He’s not the kind of guy to overstep your boundaries at all.
ā˜† He doesn’t cook. Well, it’s more like he can’t cook. He does have an interest in cooking, but something almost always goes wrong. He mostly orders takeout, or relies on you to cook an actual meal for him. He’s eternally grateful to you if you do. He’ll even offer to help you in the kitchen, whether it’s helping you cook or doing the dishes (he hates doing the dishes, but he’ll do it for you).
ā˜† As for pet names, I don’t really think he’d call you any sweet ones, I can’t see him doing that. He might call you darling occasionally. The ones he probably calls you the most would be toots or babe. And occasionally beautiful or handsome.
ā˜† Scourge is a relentless flirt. That’s obvious. Whenever you two cross paths, it’s like he knows just what to say to get your heart pounding and that blood rushing to your face. That’s how he managed to win you over, after all. Shitty pickup lines and jokes were his go-to, as well as trying his best to impress you whenever he could.
→ Bonus points if he failed horribly at whatever he was doing to impress you, and you can’t help but laugh. He’d be annoyed at first, along with his huge ego being damaged and bruised, but once he hears your laughter, it’s like butterflies emerge from his stomach, and he can basically feel his heart skip a beat. So once he’s a humiliated and blushing mess, he’ll quickly get up and proudly barked that that was on purpose, and he’s not as pathetic as he looked. Of course you knew he was lying, but you didn’t mind. You found it cute, in all honesty.
ā˜† He constantly smells of cigarettes and cheap cologne. It’s gotten to the point where once you smell it, you know for sure Scourge is nearby. It’s a scent that’s managed to find itself seeped into your bed from how many times he’s crashed at your place. But as much as you find the smell annoying, you can’t help but find at least a little bit of comfort in it.
ā˜† On the topic of sleeping over, he loves sleeping with you. He definitely snores loudly. He’s normally the big spoon, and that’s almost always unfortunately nonnegotiable. He loves holding you close with his head buried into the crook of your neck. He finds you so warm, and he’s quick to fall asleep.
ā˜† He’s the type to get jealous easily, and he’s very obvious about it. He’d wrap his arm around you, pulling you close, and smugly tell the person to back off of you and that you’re his. If the person is being creepy or threatening, Scourge isn’t afraid to put them in their place and beat the hell out of them. But he’d rather not let you watch that. It could wait, for now he’s just focused on you.
ā˜† I think it would take a lot for Scourge to open up to you. He’d have to be really comfortable with you, and 100% sure that you’re the right person to tell about this and that you won’t judge him. I’d like to think he got his anger issues from his father and his struggles with addiction from his mother. That man did not have a good childhood and I will die on this hill.
ā˜† He’s the jokester of the relationship. He’s almost always cracking jokes, whether they’d be flirtatious or not. He prefers to be on the lighter side of things rather than the serious side. He just wants to joke around and have fun with you, is that such a crime? He’d love you forever if you entertained his jokes /j
ā˜† Scourge is afraid of commitment. He isn’t into the idea of getting married nor having kids. That’s the awkward truth. He’d most likely not put as much effort into the relationship as you’d like, although that doesn’t mean he won’t try. He’ll put as much effort into the relationship as he can, but it won’t always be enough.
→ He doesn’t want kids because he’s afraid that he won’t be a good father figure, with his anger issues and problems with addiction being some of the main reasons behind that. He doesn’t want his kids to be raised by someone like him. He wants the kid to have a healthy, normal life— one that he fears he can’t supply.
ā˜† Despite not wanting any, he’s actually great with kids. He doesn’t know how or why, but it just comes naturally to him. He’d try to be a positive role model to them (even though he’s the complete opposite of a positive role model). He won’t drink or smoke around them, and actively tries to engage with them and offer advice if they seek it— as well as providing any support he can.
ā˜† I don’t think he’d be the communicator in the relationship. It’s either he’s too prideful to admit he messed up, or he’s scared of what might come from the conversation. But he’s willing to make things right with you, he loves you too much to lose you.
ā˜† He has bad habits of acting out of anger, or throwing things out of a fit of rage. He denies he has anger issues, but no matter what happens, he refuses to hurt you. The most he’ll do is scream— whether directed at you or not— or throw something at a wall.
→ If an argument were to occur, Scourge isn’t the one to apologize first. Arguments with him aren’t often unless you caught him on a really bad day and accidentally said something to set him off. His father is the most sensitive topic you can bring up, and will have him freaking out almost immediately. He just hopes that if he opens up about his father to you, you won’t use that as leverage. He trusts you, and he doesn’t want that trust to be misplaced.
→ At first he’s angry, screaming at you and demanding to know why you said or did what you did. He doesn’t mean anything he says to you, but he can’t control it. He’ll only stop if you’re crying, to which he’ll quickly be quiet once he realizes how much he scared you. He’ll give you your space, not talking to you for the rest of the day and spending most of the time in your guys’ room.
→ If the argument is his fault, he’ll still refuse to apologize, nor admit he’s in the wrong. The outcome would be a little different though. He’d be slightly colder to you once you start trying to point out where he was in the wrong and was in fact being a total asshole. Instead of backing off like he did in the previous scenario, he’d scoff at you and leave. This would cause a strain in your relationship, but as long as you two can properly communicate and talk about this, I think it’s an issue that could be solved. This relationship isn’t an easy one, but you both love each other dearly.
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nor-4 Ā· 1 year ago
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Daemon and Reader as Catherine punishing Peter scene.
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"Ah, I wanted to talk to you.." Daemon startledly said as you burst the door open as you walk nearly run infront of him with anger, "I want you to meet the pups I stole" He happily said pointing at the dogs that he recently stole from somewhere in the street.
He opened his mouth to talk again but was cut off by you slapping him enough to make his head move, "This is my court and my rules." You said loud enough for the words to echo around the room.
"I-"
"You fucking killed my guard again didn't you?" You accused him looking at him with fierce he have seen for many times but it still makes him shaken for some reason and horny. "I did. And felt bad about it." Daemon gulped as if he really meant what he said.
"This random violence is not the way of my court." You lowered your voice a bit into normal but the anger didn't leave your tone, "He called me dickhead."
"That is your answer?" You asked him thinking about how stupid it does sound, sometimes you will laugh at his jokes and actions like this. But the fun is dead when he is about to get exiled again if you didn't do a good convincing with viserys for him to stay and give another chance. "I killed a man because he called me dickhead?" You mocked his words into his face.
"Do you hear how that sounds?" You asked once again but it seems like he is not paying attention nor care for the consequences of his actions, "Sounds perfectly logical." He answered which angers you more than you will ever be.
"Violence is not the answer to everything."
"It is a language that everyone understands. You will not get far if you do not come to terms with that." Daemon tried to reason what he did which is your last straw, "Fine. Guards." You called turning your back at daemon just to face the door as you saw ser harwin and ser criston enter the door.
"Beat the fuck out of him." You ordered after facing daemon again, "Funny. You're a witty creature. At times. The point is so slight, one almost does not." Daemon tried joking as the guards starting to walk near him as he turn at the guards stopping from his yapping, "What the fuck are you two doing?"
That's the last words he said before a punch was deliver direct to his stomach, he is near to be called kinslayer but let's not lie he still can't take punches. He only wins a fight when he punch the living demon out of a person without even them getting to touch him.
He was thrown at the floor as the guards starting to stomp him same reasons for aemond and Aegon who are also in the room to stand up but helaena who are in the same room as them just stayed on her seat and drink her tea in silence, she does know how woman's anger can be and truly understands yours. They do hate daemon with the every hair in their skin but that doesn't mean they wouldn't care for him who just got beat up over a petty fight.
"Hey!" Aegon tried to intervene just to get shut down, "Help and you will be shocked. My husband and I are busy discussing an issue." You explained before turning your back at them as they just sat down learning not to also face your anger.
You decide it's probably the time to stop this as you walked near him and bow down just for him to hear your point, "Can you hear me now?" You mocked him.
"Fucking hell." Aegon said in shock with mouth agape, he is a bit thankful that he is betrothed with helaena even though he have fantasies you many times. "Enough." You said after hearing a husky grunts from him, the guards immediately stopped and walked behind you leaving daemon who just curled up.
"All of you, out!" You said as they hurriedly left the room, "What the fuck?" Daemon said standing up to his feet. "Yeah if that had actually hurt. I'd be quite angry right now." He said with wide eyes trying to catch his breath from earlier.
"Is that how you wish me to make my point?" You asked him again discussing your point since he never learn from a simple word, "I said I wasn't proud of it. Clearly it would be better I had not." he reasons once again.
"For you I will try to be better next time. Now I would like to go truffle hunting with my new dog." he said pointing at the dogs again as if he is not beaten, "No." You disagree on him.
"Do not be a bitch. You kicked me and made your point. I've taken it graciously. The difference between lovers." he joked as if anything would be better, "We are not lovers. We will never be lovers. You are bloodthirsty thug, and I wish I had killed you when I had the chance." You spight at him. Daemon already knows that feeding your anger will be worse, he hates how lower you can get when he says something. It can be a joke or not but he knows that everything you say when you are angry is not something serious because arguing with each other is your hobby, for some reason.
"Guards. Grab his dogs." You walked away from him as the guards hurriedly get the dog before daemon do. "Lock him in." You ordered as all of you raced to leave the room as ser criston was the one to leave to fastly shut the door at demon's face.
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dreamy-guardian-angel Ā· 4 months ago
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:) oh buddy I'm about to be your new best friend. I am the Delta anon. I come from mainly @/howlsofbloodhounds inbox (also Howls if you're somehow seeing this. I'LL COME BACK SOON I PROMISE).
RANT IT IS!
I find that Delta usually has very complex relationships with a lot of people, especially based on his reputation around the Multiverse and Omega Timeline. Bad guys know him as a threat who will stop at nothing to kill, good guys know him as a bit unhinged but their heart is in the (mostly) right place (aside from the murder). Anyone who poses a threat will be treated as such by them with no hesitation.
However, that being said, if a stranger approaches with caution and strikes up a conversation (asks for directions, for him to translate something, etc.), they will actually he extremely polite and patient with them. He won't be aggressive if they approach nicely, which can often confuse the ones who view him as a threat waiting to be unleashed. They know if he's around, a fight will most likely soon follow.
Does Delta know this? Absolutely. I'd imagine that they actually kind of enjoy the fear that comes from others - if they're bad, then they have everything to lose. If they're good, they're safe. He will only attack bad people and it is very well known.
And like most of the talk about Delta and Color's relationship, the headcanon of Delta being Color's roommate and protector (and semi-caretaker while he's in recovery) is usually adopted.
For me personally, I like to imagine that Delta had to reteach Color everything from day one - not to say Color was helpless whatsoever during recovery, just needed a bit of help, love, and routine to get their life back in order. They are very close friends, even though they argue on occasion and blow up at each other due to their explosive natures.
With that being said, I also like to think that Color taught Delta a LOT about so many things, opened their eyes to a lot more possibilities than they realized before. Because before Color really came around, Delta kinda only had himself, Beta (the collective nickname that was chosen for the Bravery Soul), and whoever they encountered.
Some of these things could be about the patience and time recovery takes. Delta is usually a get-in-get-out sorta guy I think, so if he gets injured, he heals himself quickly and rushes to the next AU or fight. But Color practically forced him to realize that what he can survive with ease is not the case for everyone else - he may be able to heal himself without thinking about it, but others sometimes don't have that luxury.
Another thing I'd like to imagine Color taught them more about is patience (ironic, i know). Healing takes quite a bit of time, even if it's done instantly with magic. Color had to be rehabilitated, taught the things people would just know, and Delta was a big part of his learning process. But when things got hard, he practically forced Delta to learn that instead of fighting it (usually physically or verbally), they needed to be patient, take a breath to calm down, and keep trying while keeping their cool.
I also think that Color would help them to actually accept the things they need to do in regards to their neurodivergency (I hc that Delta/Beta have ADHD and probably a few other things, but right now ADHD is the main thing I'm talking about here). Color was taught by pretty much everyone around him that he was allowed to express themselves however they wanted, as long as it wasn't hurting anyone or themselves.
I feel like Delta would be the type of guy to refuse himself stims or breaks, not wanting to be seen as 'weak' or 'vulnerable' by their enemies. I'd imagine that they mask often, causing them only more frustration the longer they do it - hence why they get so excited when they can fight. They get to release all that pent-up stress and energy, and use it to protect people that they care about, including themselves. What better coping method could a neurodivergent with anger issues ask for?
But Color taught him that they don't have to resort to fighting to get out energy, and don't have to mask in order to feel safe - don't have to view themselves as weak for allowing themselves the comfort of stims and all that comes with it.
And that's not to say Delta didn't know about these things before - just that he didn't think of it. Color obviously taught him much more than just these things, but these are the first ones that come to mind. They undoubtedly have the closest bond that could be, no matter what happens.
And moving onto Epic now, I actually don't know how I imagine these two meeting. So I'm open to ideas on this one lmao.
But no matter how they met, they are also very very close - they enjoy spending time together, mostly because it's so different than what Delta's used to. He can feel a bit more relaxed around Epic. And, like Color, Epic encourages stimming to the highest extent (I imagine he has AuDHD). With the memes and overall chaos, though, Delta would probably need breaks of silence in their hangouts lmao.
I'm gonna be real with you, I don't have much of an opinion on him. But that isn't to say that he's not a massive part of Delta's life.
I'd imagine that he'd be the first person aside from Delta that Color was introduced to. Naturally Color wouldn't be as friendly, maybe even viewing him as a threat until he eventually came around. (You gotta introduce early post-VOID Color to people like a cat, from what I understand. It'll work, trust.)
Now, with Cross, it could be a bit more complicated. Even though it was claimed as non-canon by Jakei I believe(?), in Delta's story, he canonically fought Cross. Which obviously leaves a bad first impression for both of them.
Needless to say, when Delta finds out that Epic is friends with Cross, he is NOT happy. Things would probably be tense between the two for a very, very long time, probably involving multiple altercations and fights between the two. But I think they would eventually get on better, more neutral terms - maybe even respect each other eventually.
I do think that the longer Cross is around and the more he integrates into their group, Delta will accept him soon enough and not put up as much as a fight about it. They might even grow protective of Cross, instinctively wanting to protect him from danger, just how he does with everyone else.
And honestly, Cross would probably teach him to be more accepting of people who are trying to turn their lives around. Delta has most definetly fought this dude multiple times in the past, and will proudly admit to that. But he learned that even people who did a lot of bad shit can change, and should be allowed the time, resources, and space to do so. I think they'd be friends eventually.
Now, with Killer, it is going to take him MUCH longer. Cross is mostly acceptable because they showed genuine change and apologized for past actions - Killer, on the other hand, has not yet.
It's kinda known how Color actively saved Killer and helped him begin learning to change and recover. And he's seen firsthand how much Killer has hurt Color - they were on the front lines with them.
So naturally, once Killer tries to assimilate into their friend group, Delta fucking hates it. He is completely unwilling to accept Killer, an unapologetic sociopath with a body count higher than Delta and all his friend's combined, into their friend group. Hell no. They'd rather die (again).
It probably goes on like this for the entirety of Killer's reintegration-into-society process. No matter how hard Delta tries to bite his tongue, mask it, fake politeness and try to be patient, it is a never-ending battle between him and Killer - and in turn, with Color.
Killer being in their lives would definetly create a lot of conflict between them and Color. Delta doesn't want to let some murderer around them - especially one that worked with their literal enemies! But Color is determined to help, and not a single thing is going to stop him.
Eventually, of course, things would get better. Killer would stop being such a menace (though he'd still be chaotic) and Delta would slowly get over his pure hatred of the guy. I'm honestly not sure if they could ever be friends due to the unyielding grudges that Delta holds, but they can at least be on decent enough terms to not try to kill each other every time Color leaves them alone in a room for more than 10 seconds.
I think his relationship with Beta would be very different from all of these, though. They have quite literally known each other the longest, as they are fused together. I'd imagine that at the start of their relationship, it was pretty rocky.
Beta just got freed from his eternal chamber where he was forced to stay in the dark after being killed, and was immediately absorbed to fight and beat a demon before they left forever. That statement alone carries through some the trauma this kid endured - and now he was suddenly fused with one of the Monsters he had previously known. So of course their relationship would be very complicated at first. But with time, things would get less complicated - they would get more in sync, trust each other more.
I think that as the years go by, they'd eventually develop a brother-like relationship. They are definetly very close, always having each other's backs, ready for whatever comes next.
Now, onto headcanons about his other relationships outside of the Chromatic Crew.
For me personally, I think he'd actually get along very well with Lust! (I know a lot of people call him Plum or Sugar or whatever, but I honestly don't mind calling him Lust.) I'm not exactly sure how they would meet, though. Maybe Delta was saving him from someone? Or maybe they met in the Omega Timeline somewhere.
I think their first meeting would be a bit awkward. I don't know Lust very well so forgive me if I'm not doing him justice here, but I imagine he'd be the type to flirt slightly with people he just met (not inappropriately of course).
I personally hc that Delta is aroace, so obviously this would make a very awkward first introduction if Lust gets flirty. However, I think once they get past that (and once Delta sets firm boundaries), they would be good friends!
I also think that they would gossip together. With how involved Delta is and how strong his opinions are on about damn near anything, he definetly knows about a lot of drama happening in the Multiverse. And Lust being Lust, I imagine he'd be involved in drama, too. So I think they would definetly bond on that front.
And honestly, I think he'd be on decent terms with the Star Sanses as well. In truth though, I also don't know them very well aside from the things I see everyone else putting out here, so I may not do them justice in this topic lmao.
I think he'd be fine with Ink, honestly. He may disagree with the things Ink stands for and how he perceives the Multiverse and its inhabitants, but he can't deny that Ink has saved countless AU's - regardless of intention, morals or motive. As long as Ink doesn't try to interfere with their work, they have no issues with him.
Dream, on the other hand, I feel Delta might be a little more frustrated by. Of course Dream is a genuinely good person - that is simply who he is. But the almost foolish (in Delta's eyes, at least) belief that Nightmare can change and may come back around one day can annoy him very easily. It's obvious Nightmare isn't coming back, no matter how much Dream still loves and cares about his brother. It ain't happening. (He thinks Dream is a tiny bit delusional on that front. And also that the whole 'balance' thing is absolute bullshit. However, he thinks that pretty much everything else Dream stands for is good.)
I think he and Blue would be good friends, though! They have quite a lot in common in my eyes. I think they'd go sparring and patrol together on occasion, when they both have the time.
I also think that he and Ccino would get along very well despite how different they are. They balance each other out in a way - and plus, Delta always tips well. (He also tried to steal a cat for Color once. He felt bad and returned it the next day. Ccino has too many cats - his answer to the return was "I thought I just counted wrong. I should probably take a nap and fix that". And that was when Delta became concerned with this man's sleeping habits lmao.)
And finally, Ganz. I'm not sure if you know him or not (he's kinda unknown as well) but I imagine Delta's actually pretty close with him. Due to Ganz's depressive nature, Delta offers help at a moments notice, no matter what kind of help he needs.
All in all, they care very much about their friends.
Anyways, that's all I got! Thoughts?
(Context)
ANON I LOVE YOU, thank you so much for taking the time to answer me<33
Okay, first of all, while I was reading your answer I saw someone reblog my previous post, so @swelteringfire , sorry for the tag, but I thought you might want to read this as well
ā¤µļø
SECOND, thanks again, it really helped and it was actually interesting!
I saw quite a few fanarts of Delta and Color and I was confused at first because I didn't understand their dynamic, but this clears up a lot of things. It actually sounds really sweet how they basically helped each other in so many different ways when they needed it. Same thing goes for Epic and Cross. I believe Cross is a really complex character, and I know he had his problems with a lot (or even the majority) of other monsters, so I'm not surprised they might've had a rough start as well seeing Delta's nature.
I'll be honest, I was particularly curious about his relationship with Killer (sorry, I love him more than anything</3), and yes, I can see how they might have their difficulties. I'm not sure if this is right, but Delta's behaviour and thoughts about Killer at first remind me a bit of what Dust or Horror might think of him too. Now, I love the found family trope for the MTT, but realistically speaking I know they both would view Killer as a sort of threat as well (which is...ironic, but understandable).
Also I didn't know about Beta but thanks, now I'm crying<33 The fandom usually tends to ignore the other souls' trauma, so it's nice to know that someone actually takes the time to focus on that sometimes. They were just kids too.
I also love how you mentioned Lust and Blue as well! Swap is basically everyone's bestie at this point, and I'm so happy about it (also he's probably the most stable out of everyone there). And Lust would absolutely love to stop and gossip after getting to know Delta!
I think he would be fine with Ink and Dream too, and at the same time it's so funny how the bad guys would be kind of scared of him
Overall he sounds like a really interesting character, I would like to see more of him!
(Sorry if it's short, but I have class now)
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thebreakfastgenie Ā· 5 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/thebreakfastgenie/774602874887995392/do-you-think-biden-was-genuinely-exemplary-for-any
Diff anon, but my initial reaction to him was more of a "okay, he's probably gonna be boring but it's still vastly preferable to a wannabe dictator". He managed to demonstrate that he was more than that, what with frankly doing his damnedest to right this ship into something after the colossal evils of his predecessor, and also put some serious holes and cracks in the arguments of his critics and detractors (especially as the latter started demonstrating their own serious myopia and flaws with their downright abominable behavior). That said, he's more of a mixed bag on the foreign policy front, as there's a number of points where I think he didn't push as hard as he could have in regards to Ukrainian aid (because honestly Russia getting its ass kicked and forced to give up would have really helped us all out in the long term, even if it didn't stop our own idiots from swallowing the lies and voting back Hair Fuhrer), and the whole situation with Israel and Palestine was, quite frankly, a giant clusterfuck that was more the fault of the two leading governments of those nations intentionally making things worse for their own agendas, mixed with copius amounts of people losing their fucking marbles and becoming open antisemites that I'd have hoped we would have grown past than necessarily anything Biden did wrong.
But as a whole, he did a damn hell lot better than people gave him credit for, and sadly was just held back (and his many warnings ignored) constantly by a perpetually dishonest and backstabbing media, apathetic and ignorant voters who unfortunately just weren't paying any attention because they didn't understand anything other than "borger slightly too expensive", and a multitude of assholes right and left who constantly swallowed radical-sounding propaganda without digging any deeper and treated Biden like he was the greatest villain of all time while blithely ignoring the actual villains in the room, and royally fucked over his intended successor in the process.
I honestly cannot ever forgive the media and the idiots who got us to this point in the first place, and if we make it out of here in some kind of pieces, this man honestly deserves the mother of all apologies and a fairer evaluation, instead of the blind and self-serving demonization he actually got.
Yeah I think he similarly exceeded my expectations but I will say that I didn't really have expectations about whether he would be boring or better because by 2020 the only thing I cared about was beating Trump. I filled out a poll at some point during that election and when I was asked what issue was most important to me I chose other and wrote in "the removal of Donald Trump." I approached the 2020 primary thinking exclusively about which candidate I thought was best equipped to win the general election and I was (and remain) pissed off that so many Democrats decided to run, most of them with no serious chance of winning, because I felt it was important for the party to be united and to unite quickly so we could begin the campaign against Trump as soon as possible. Once Biden was elected and I was able to pay attention to other things again, I was pleasantly surprised by a lot of choices made by the Biden-Harris administration, which is not to say I loved all of them. Foreign policy is definitely a weak point, but it's also the area I know the least about (I find the moral dilemmas so frustrating I deliberately chose to focus on domestic policy when I was doing my degree, lmao) and also an area where there just are no good alternatives in American politics.
I share your anger. I do believe Biden, along with Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris, will be vindicated by history. But that's cold comfort to those of us living through it.
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call-me-copycat Ā· 6 months ago
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So we all know Aizawa is often/always tired
How much coffee do you think he drinks?
And do you think there was a time he drank to much? And if yes how would you think it went?
I love your blog some much btw :3
Hmm, he seems like the type of guy who's pretty much always pulling all nighters, so I'd say he'd probably have a mixture of things keeping him awake (coming from a dreadful point in time that I went through with a specific college class >⁠.⁠<)
Coffee is definitely a big one that many use to stay awake so I'm positive he drinks a good amount. There's just 1 issue:
It's a natural laxative.
So I don't think he'd drink too much per say (he's a pro hero and teacher! He doesn't have time to be in the bathroom all day lol), but that being said I can't not see him having at least 1 desperate day and drinking too much, only to have stomach pains all day (ā Ā ā ļ½„ąø±ā ļ¹ā ļ½„ąø±ā )
(It's also an addictive substance, and I doubt the last thing he'd want is an addiction)
He'd most likely drink more water if anything, I've noticed that in terms of long-term sleepiness that water is a surefire way to wake you up. Whenever I'd get sleepy in class I'd reach for my water bottle, it wakes you for a second, but being dehydrated will make you superrrr sleepy so I can see him constantly drinking water in some way so to avoid that dilemma
When you get tired, you get desperate to stay awake. Especially if there are a lot of people depending on you, like Aizawa. This all comes from personal experiences by the way
Most likely has all of his screens brightness all the way up, if it's too dark his eyes will cross. I have bad dry eye as well, and if I stare at a screen for too long then my eyes will refuse to focus
He's very lucky to have his job, it has many ways to keep him awake: Plenty of sunlight, lots of noise, constant movement is needed, anger keeps you awake and he has plenty of that, and I'm going to assume those jelly packets have protein in them, something also good for keeping you awake. He's very lucky!
I think general anxiety and constant boughts of adrenaline help keep him awake too - there are too many risks every single day as a pro hero and teacher, and he has to stay extremely vigilant because there are many lives depending on him. (I wonder if he crashes hard at the end of the day)
He has to get yelled at by his doctors about the constant stress on his heart. It's pretty much set in stone. All the adrenaline, anxiety, caffeine and lack of sleep will strain his heart deeply
I've been fretted over by doctors because my anxiety keeps me in constant fight or flight, and they said that since my heart is constantly beating too fast then that'll increase my chances of cardiac arrest. It's also why I have chronic fatigue.
That's why I believe this man is constantly tired. Continuously pushing himself and his heart has to be absolutely draining. He needs a break! (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠)
That being said, he simply has to have an iron will to stay awake. That scarf of his may not be the most comfortable (it's heavy metal plus most likely very dirty and gross), but his black jumpsuit and the ability to hide the lower half of his face seems like it'd make it even harder to stay awake, as compared to say Present Mic's outfit. It seems like it'd be harder to fall victim to sleepiness in a leather outfit studded in spikes (ā źæā ļ¹ā źæā ;⁠)
ą­Øą­§ā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆā”ˆą­Øą­§
This ask was very fun to answer! I love thinking of all the little details like these, so thanks for stopping by! (Ā“āˆ‡ļ½€) And I'm very happy you like my blog! I like yours too ^⁠_⁠^
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howlsofbloodhounds Ā· 10 months ago
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Delta anon here again and I have a wonderful angst idea
(Tw: violent lash outs, s/h)
So obviously, Delta and Beta have anger issues. This is a known thing among the fandom, due to him canonically being a hothead.
But due to the more recent headcanons about them being able to mask their emotions and fake it to the point of being able to hide their glow internally, what would they do when they can finally let it out?
I'd imagine they'd lash out at the nearest object or person. And God forbid Color or Epic try to stop them from lashing out - or even go near them in that state.
If one of them tried stopping them or touching them, then Delta, who is running on fighting instinct and adrenaline at this point, would lash out at them and probably harm them. Grabbing at them, punching them, accidentally burning them - they're not thinking at this point and just need something to attack.
(We really gotta invest in getting this man a punching bag that won't break on the first punch lmao)
Obviously, whichever one isn't being attacked at the moment immediately runs to help and at least get Delta far away enough so that they can get the other out of there. Delta doesn't even realize what he's done until a while after, probably after he's done destroying whatever room he's in.
Eventually, after he's calmed down, Delta would remember what they did and immediately get wrecked with guilt. Did I hurt them? How badly did I hurt them? What did I do? Why did I do that? Why did I hurt them? I didn't mean to, I didn't want to. Why did I do that?
Imagine the panic, not just from him, but from Beta as well. Will they leave us now? What if we hurt them so badly, that they hate us now? Do they still like us? Do they still want us around? What if they don't? Will they leave? What if they think we're too dangerous or violent to be around, and then they finally leave us?
The angst of them frantically wanting to apologize, horrified of what they've done, yet freezing up, unsure if Color and/or Epic even want to see them right now, much less be around them. Should we wait? Should we let things calm down for a little? But what if they think we meant to do it? Are they okay?
Now, this thought process would probably lead to a panic attack. And what makes it worse, is knowing that they're entirely alone, have no one to call for help, and might never have anyone again. Because all they can remember is that they hurt someone - they can't remember how badly they did. Oh stars, what if they killed them? What then? The only people who ever really cared about them, their best friends, and yet he hurt them. How could he? They must hate him, surely. How dangerous really was he? Are they really too dangerous to be around?
And when they finally get over the panic attack, probably multiple hours later, they're able to pull their shaking body off the floor they collapsed on and push the door open to go check on whoever they hurt. Afraid to find out, but afraid to not.
(And at this point, I'd also imagine that due to the intense emotions and the idea that the burn appears based on the intensity of his emotions, they'd most likely have hurt themselves by now. Purposefully burning themselves, genuinely believing that they deserved it after all the pain they put their friends through.)
Eventually, he'd be able to find them. I'd imagine he'd be anxiously peeking the door open, trying to subtly glance in the room without raising alarm, not wanting to scare or hurt them further but being too afraid to not check.
Would Delta/Beta allow themselves to be comforted, or would they immediately seek isolation after checking on them to make sure they're okay, out of the fear that they'll hate him and want nothing to do with him - so they take care of it themselves. Not to guilt trip them, but out of genuine concern and fear. He doesn't know if they want him around anymore, and are too afraid to ask and find out.
And if they did hurt themselves, would they allow themselves to be healed (reguardless of how serious the burn is) if Color and Epic found out, or would their insecurities and fear take hold and stop them from allowing anyone to help them, and also from reaching out? Would he force himself to endure the pain and refuse to heal himself, especially if it's a serious burn?
And when Color and Epic finally did find them (let's be real, they probably had to seek him out and hunt him down), do you think Delta would put the offer of hurting him in revenge up for them to take? Because surely, that's why they came here, aside from an apology. Wouldn't they want revenge against them for what they did? They deserve to be hurt and in pain for what they did, don't they?
(How horrified would Epic and Color be at this offer? How would they convince Delta/Beta otherwise?)
What do you think the aftermath would be, depending on who they hurt and how badly? How would they move on?
(Also if Killer caught word of Delta doing this, and Delta had accidentally hurt Color, would Killer go after him immediately while Delta is still in his rage? How bad would that fight get? How would it get stopped, if it did?)
Thoughts?
You know, this actually made me think of a scene similar to a fanfic i read. Where Killer hunts Delta down with intent to kill if he had hurt Color, only to come across Delta and Beta in a very not good state and feeling a sudden sense of deju vu, and before he knows it hes triggered into Stage 1 or like, gently ā€œnudgedā€ aside.
Someone crumpled and curled up, hurt and bleeding, alone and afraid and guilty after hurting someone they didn’t mean to or want to. Afraid to face the world and the consequences. Killer’s been there, even if the reasons for hurting people/loved ones are vastly different.
Perhaps this is the moment where they gain an understanding. Where Killer can take everything he’s learned from Color and therapy and his healing and his own experiences, and help someone else now.
Or perhaps Killer doesn’t switch into Stage 1 fully, but that eyelight glows in his right eye socket and hes uncomfortably aware that the sight is familiar. Which can be a jarring experience for Stage 2, not really known for such empathy, and the moment is very likely fleeting and he likely experiences something like emotional amnesia towards the moment later.
Maybe Killer decides to help Delta and Beta treat their wounds, which also gives them some time to pull themselves together before facing Epic and Color. If Delta and/or Beta tries to pull the ā€œI hurt them, i don’t deserve it, you should be trying to kill me,ā€ card, Killer reminds them of what Color always says: ā€œIt’s not about deserving. Do you want it?ā€
So would they want Killer’s help? If even Killer can offer this moment of what seems to be forgiveness, understanding, then Color and Epic definitely would. Do they want it?
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mylittlesecrethaven Ā· 1 year ago
Text
How Relationships With Them Would Be: Pt 3
Let's finish this off because this post series has taken a long time to finish.
(*sigh* never mind. This will be in 2 parts because it's longer than I thought it'd be.)
Cater:
I mean.... he might be ok? But he seems to have a lot of issues going on with himself, so I'm unsure if he'd even be ready for a relationship. It would probably be a pretty stable relationship, though. Although, if you're one of those "I need silence or I will go fucking insane." people, probably won't work out.
MC: *trying to zone out because they need it*
Cater: MC! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED!
MC: *still trying to enjoy the silence*
Cater: MC! COME ON COME ON!
MC: Can I have some peace for a moment?
Cater: But you'll miss it if you don't come!
Probably a pretty good boyfriend for certain personalities.
Ace:
Fuck no. Have you not read the wiki thing where it says he literally ghosted his gf? I get that was in middle school, but this mans literally runs from commitment and will probably bully you because he thinks it's teasing.
Ace: Seriously? That's the grade you got?
MC: I tried my hardest! I'm not from this world, remember?!
Ace: But Grim got a better grade than you. Grim! How dumb do you have to be?
MC: *either raging or crying*
(I may have based this off a fic I read)
I hope you're good at teasing his back, otherwise y'all will never get along.
Deuce:
Maybe another good one? He seems to have gotten better with his anger, so that's something. He probably wouldn't leech off of you too much. I think his only problem is that he might not see the relationship as an actual relationship, y'know? He might just treat it like a normal friendship or something. Maybe once he's graduated, he'd be better with knowing how to deal with a relationship, but for now? Not so much. He might also honestly forget y'all are in a relationship. (this might just be a headcannon? Idk)
MC: We should give each other pet names!
Deuce: Why?
MC: Cause we're dating!
Deuce: *pauses to load* ....OH!.... Right.... yeah.... we are.
But honestly? Probably a pretty good boyfriend.
Jack:
Ok, now we're just getting good boyfriend material, wtf? But seriously, Jack is a family man, and he's good at keeping at his goals. He'd be perfect at keeping his significant other on track and keep them from procrastinating. He'd probably also help them keep in shape. I feel like his only flaw is he tends to either overestimate people's abilities or try to push his views onto others a little too much.
Jack: You have to keep going or else you'll get used to stopping right before you get the exercise you need!
MC: *literally sweating through their clothes and pretty much fucking dying* I NEED A BREAK!
Jack: Just keep going! It's fine!
As long as you're an overachiever and you're ok with your limits being pushed, I'd say he's good bf material.
It's been a while, so I hope I still made this ok. There were a lot more good boyfriends than I thought there'd be.
Oh well. I'll get the next part out at some point.
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dialalagirl Ā· 4 months ago
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Would I feel safe in a room with them?
TW!!! (Slight?) mention of self-harm on azusa's part
Ayato- No, not bc im sure he'd pull some bullshit of an excuse to feed on my blood, but bc it seems like a blur to me. If he's serious or not like his usual self at that moment, he'll probably let me go but if oh boy if he's feeling good, then I'm fucked.
Kanato- NO. NO ABSOLUTELY NOT GET ME OUT OF HERE. Although I love him, I'd rather adore him from a respectable distance. For my own good, i think I'll stay in the farthest corner of the room.
Laito- No. No, definitely not. As an asexual, the way he makes everything about sex is mind blowingly irritating and uncomfortable to me ā™”
Reiji- To some extent?? He won't bite unless I do or say smth stupid, probably, so i guess he could be one of the people that I'd kinda feel safe with. Maybe I'd ask him a few things about chemistry or biology and hope it keeps his mind occupied enough to forget about my blood lol.
Shu- Hell yea. He's pretty chill and sleeps most of the time so we wouldn't have to interact, I'll just ignore him like he ignores me and we're good!
Subaru- Yeah, he's way kinder than his brothers even tho he doesn't like to show it much, and as long as i don't trigger his anger issues, he seems like someone i can reason with.
Kou- Maybe. I mean im not gonna accept his gifts obviously but if he insists, I'll just pray he asks for anything other than my blood. (Which he probably wouldn't, in that case I'll just give up and let him have it ig)
Yuma- Ehh... I would try not to interact much sinxe he gets angry pretty easily, but if i had to I'd probably kinda act like yui. Yk like more easy-going and pliant, even. Honestly he intimidates me (his height is NOT helping me) and i find him pretty, whixh is another problem bc my anxiety acts up like a Hollywood star and mess up everything when someone i find pretty is around.
Ruki- Yea, he seems cool. I'd ask him about book recommendations, maybe.
Azusa- he wouldn't feel safe with me in a room 🄰. Jokes aside tho, I'd probably be a little startled if he asked me to hurt him, but I'd try to find a middle ground. Maybe settling with just a few scratches, nothing deep enough to leave a scar but still enough to make him happy for the moment. I'm not letting him do the same to me tho, it took me way too long to stop doing that šŸ’€.
mostly agree, BUT if I may offer a weeeeee but important edit:
ruki- fuck no. bro will stuff you in a dungeon and give you date-rape drugs if he jelly yes, it's true, look it up in MB šŸ’€
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drop--pop--candy Ā· 2 months ago
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i missed neon's glimmer :> i was just thinking about them the other day actually. anyways, i'd love to know more about chika and maho's relationship!
im ngl i have. issues. with maho. i am the least certain about maho and her story out of all four girls. but as it stands i think their relationship is something like this:
as a kid, maho was sheltered, and not particularly stand-out in personality. she had a temper, but it never came out at the other schoolkids, because she got along fine with them. she was mostly content to do whatever everyone else was doing.
maho watched the progression of chika getting bullied, from just a few people thinking she was weird to people talking behind her back to people talking shit to her face and finally to chika withdrawing from school because of it. this fundamentally changed something in her. how could people be so cruel? after chika withdrew, maho (mostly by accident) started gaining social credit, because she was good at soccer and she was funny. using this position, she shut down teasing whenever she saw it happen. basically, maho became something of a class clown (but not in the teacher nuisance way) who was only serious to stop people from getting picked on, and this is directly because of chika. she doesn't really recognize this as the case, though.
when chika returns to school, she's different. she doesn't respond to maho's attempts to reach out at all, because in her mind, maho's just like the rest of them, and she's probably only doing that so she can laugh at her. maho isn't fond of this, and she's mostly forgotten what happened so many years ago, so her opinion on chika immediately sours. she still won't let other people shit talk her, but personally she dislikes chika strongly. she sees her as untrustworthy, especially considering NOBODY is close to chika. maho never sees anyone talking to her between classes, or at lunch, or coming into school. there's something up with her, and maho doesn't want to find out what.
fast forward to main story fight, when maho finds out the vocalist she's idolized for years is this weird social recluse, she gets overwhelmed and yells at chika for being a liar and a fake and also a weirdo. this isn't what she meant to say, and it's not really what she thinks either- but chika takes it the worst way she possibly could (and really, can you blame her?) and runs away.
chika is the one to attempt to reconcile after the fight, which is stunning to maho; after haruka rips her a new one and she thinks on it for a while, maho comes to the conclusion that she's in the wrong so severely there's not a point in trying to start the band up again because it would be fair of chika to completely hate her now (which is objectively true. but chika wants this band to be real so so so bad she doesn't even care)
after neon's ✧ glimmer officially starts up, maho and chika have a,,,, weird relationship. maho still feels guilty because she never really got to apologize, chika just sort of talked over her about how they need to go get haruka because if she sits on it any longer she's never going to forgive maho. maho apologizes to haruka, but never gets the chance to apologize to chika, the person who she yelled at in the first place. and this is also conflicted with the fact that chika was one of her biggest inspirations, both online as QUAKE and in real life (and she has never told chika either of these).
meanwhile, chika is fine putting what maho said behind them, but she's not really fine. every time maho raises her voice a little too much or the sky is overcast in the way it was on that day chika can't help but think of what maho said, and how she really thought it was going to work this time, and how she's just a monster in everyone's eyes. she doesn't hold resentment or anger towards maho- but her words affected her deeply in a way she can't shake, in a way that keeps her up at night as she imagines how if miss friends-with-everyone said that to her, what would others say to her? what are they saying, right now, behind her back? and of course, because maho said that to her, chika can never really shake the feeling that maho still holds that anger towards her, especially since maho never apologized.
tldr oufhfhgmghhghghg they make me ill. they have some sort of weird radioactive classmates-to-strangers-to-enemies-to-bandmates-to-enemies-to-friends??????????? thing going on that intrigues me deeply. tysm for the ask i love chewing on the two of them
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ask-postcrash-curly Ā· 5 months ago
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Hey Curly. I know it's an unpleasant topic for you, but I thought I could say something about you and... Well, him. Your "best friend". When I was a kid, I wasn't a very good person. I am ashamed of a lot of my actions back then. One of the worst one is that I used to hit people around me to try and get what I want (I feel disgusted with myself just remembering this, brr). Usually it wasn't even with my fist, but it was still a horrible thing to do. I (if I remember correctly) stopped at around thirth or fourth grade, when I had some sense for me. When you talked about how Jimmy used to hit you but it was "alright" because you're a big guy and could handle it... I couldn't help but remember myself at that time. Teachers saw me hit other kids (mostly the boys I was hanging out with), yet they did nothing (looking back then, they should have called my parents, because what the hell! The kid is doing harm to other kids! Make their caregivers have a talk with them about it!). Yet when I was hit or something like that, they always payed attention. Maybe it's because I'm a girl? I don't know. I clearly had anger issues, yet basically no one tried to address that. One of the boys would fight back if I hit him, but it would do nothing. Oh, and our friendship with those boys was pretty toxic, too. One of the boys would call me mean things, he would always make the games unfair for his benefit, he would do anything to provoke me only to make fun of me in the end, he would call me on a walk only to make fun of me with his other friends. And yes, I was also a bad person back then, that's why I called this friendship toxic. We all were affecting eachother negatively. I only stayed with them because I couldn't make any other friends at that time. I'm glad that this all is over and that boy, as well as me, has changed... But I will never talk to him again. It's better for everyone. Curly. You are a good man at heart, it is obvious. The way Jim treated you was horrible of him, there was no good reason for you to let him stay. But I understand that there are tons of reasons of why you would cling onto him. Because I've been on both sides, one way or another (no one was in real threat because of my actions, luckily... Hah, it's good that ten year old girls are pretty weak). He could be doing that because he wanted control. Or because he saw you as a safe way to relieve his anger. Whatever the reason is, good friends don't hit their friends, that's for sure. I would know. And sometimes it's hard for those around you to see how bad the situation is — remember, no one ever called me out when I was hitting other kids as a child. So yeah. It's all very complicated. We don't know what will happen next, but I hope you all get back home and you will get to heal. And when you do, you will need this knowledge to recognise that you are not being treated the way you should. That someone is being a bigger dick than normal. Knowing how awful your friendship with Jim was can help you never make the same mistakes. Because when you can't undo something, the least you can do is learn from it. Treat your mistake as an experience that you'll need in the future to become a better person. That's what I do to not lose hope in myself. You can use that tactic, too. Consider it an advice from a friend.
Hey.
Here we go... All right.
Don't think you need to feel disgusted for that, yeah? We're not slaves to our past. And you were a kid. As long as you're doing better now. Can't change the past, but you did learn from it.
Huh. Sounds worse when you say it like that. I suppose I should explain... Urgh. Anything physical between us wasn't a thing. It was the occasional accident, really. I don't... respond well to confrontation. You've probably noticed. (Yet they put me in a leadership role. Brilliant decision there... I really should have rejected the job.)
You know, when I was young, whenever I'd get in trouble and I'd get yelled at I'd start crying. Couldn't help it. My parents thought I was doing it on purpose for a bit because of how out of proportion it was. I decided the best way to handle this and avoid getting yelled at was simply to never do anything I could get in trouble for ever. In retrospect, that... might be how I ended up such an anxious adult. Anyway, I got over that to the point where I can push back here and there and take control when necessary, but if the other person keeps yelling, I kinda shut down. Not a good look.
Anyway, where I get disassociated, Jimmy goes the opposite way. Gets super passionate and emotional really fast. That mixes badly. I'm out of it and he's very in it getting more and more worked up while I'm on autopilot. So he might lash out the same way we'd do playfully, albeit with more anger behind it, expecting me to block him and I don't. He didn't do it on purpose. or if he did, he'd expect me to be fighting back. He had a thing for a long time where he was convinced I was going to hit him if he got me mad enough. Some self-sabotage thing. We worked through it.
Sorry, didn't mean to ramble so much. Back to what you were saying. I don't think either of you were bad people so much as you were... kids. And if there's one thing kids are good at, it's making stupid decisions. (Some adults too. Hello.) No one's the same today as they were in primary school, yeah? Glad you got better and got away from that boy though. I'm sorry none of the adults in your life stepped in to give you both the help you needed. But... Well, it's just my two cents, but I think you should be proud that you made that change on your own.
Is it obvious? I'm not so sure what that means, being "a good man at heart." What are ideals without action? Useless, is what they are. Jimmy was... not always the kindest friend to me. But I fucked up with him all the time too. Always saying things that I knew in the back of my mind would hurt him but not realizing that until the words had already left my mouth. And he was there for me most of the time. I recognize that the way I felt around him was less than ideal, but I don't know if that's something he did wrong or something wrong with me. I'm still struggling to conceptualize it as— as abuse. I don't know.
Control? A safe way to relieve his anger? ...Huh.
...I hope so too. I don't know what I'm going to do about that. I hardly know what to do with myself without him around. You know, sometimes when my mind drifts to what "getting better" could look like, I have— I have to fight not to picture him visiting me in the hospital next to my sister. How fucked is that? Hah.
Right. Yeah. Our pasts do define us, I think. Every action we take, every mistake we make, they're a part of us we can't escape or erase. But we aren't bound to those. Every day has the chance to be different. Every moment can be the last of its kind. Change hurts, but...
I'll try.
Thank you.
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ferronite Ā· 2 months ago
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Hm... I'm really curious about Eris and how they view the Sinners they leads. So, a question directly to Eris: What would you say is the greatest flaw and greatest quality of each of your Sinners?
[My opinions on my Sinners? Well, okay then!]
[Lilli is... well, Lilli. So far my biggest issue with her has just been that she doesn't listen. But I think what's more likely to cause problems is her obsessiveness, honestly. As for her best quality... ironically, her stubbornness. She certainly isn't one to give up, that's for sure!]
[Susan doesn't seem very willing to assert themselves, even when they're right. They'll just stop arguing if anyone tries to oppose them. But they're by far the most... understanding of the group, especially when it comes to emotions. Probably the most aware of their issues, too... and I've seen them trying to help the others, on occasion.]
[For Mint, I'd have to say his biggest flaw is his apathy. He has no real sense of self preservation, and I can never really tell how he's reacted to things, honestly. He is incredibly observant, though... when I can actually hold a longer chat with him, I normally learn some useful things!]
[Mary's sorta a double-edged sword, if I'm honest. She's the most outwardly stable, and has often ended up as the calming presence of the group, but at the same time... nobody ever really knows what's going on underneath her act.]
[I reckon most people would say Amaryn's biggest flaw is his anger, but I'd say it's his paranoia, really. He refuses to let any of us help him - even I know barely anything about him. As for his strengths... well, his drive, probably. That and his eye for traps.]
[And as for Leo, well... his drive to help people is admirable, really! But... he can get himself pretty deep in denial, especially if we've had to do something that isn't completely morally correct. It seems to hurt him, honestly.]
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threadbearsweater Ā· 5 months ago
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From your last reblog, how do you stop hating getting older? Most of my fandom friends are early/mid 20s and it makes me feel so gross being in my 30s. Everyone always shames you for being so 'old' in the anime spaces and I always feel kinda guilty about it and I shouldn't.
How do you come to terms with aging and loving your age? I know I'm younger than you but it feels like I'm aging so quickly when everyone else stays so young lol
I guess what I'm asking is what made you love your 40s? Or even your 30s? What made you wake up and go 'actually, this is way better than people made it out to be'. I hope none of this sounds too invasive but I feel like I'm doing myself a disservice by not loving my age gracefully when I never thought I'd MAKE it to this age, y'know?
I am afraid that it's not really a profound revelation. As much as I'd like to sit here and document my journey to self-love and say that it's always been positive and joyful, it really hasn't been. I'd say that just in the last 5 or 6 years, I've finally had the ability to be honest with myself about a lot of things- namely the way I handle stress, relationship woes (both platonic and romantic) and just life in general. My 40's are loads better than my 30's even. I spent a lot of my 30's being angry- at myself, at my kids, at my ex-husband. At work, at life, at money. And I knew it at the time, but I guess I thought it was just the way life had to be. I told myself I'd just been dealt a shitty hand and it was the consequences of my actions so far that made my life what it had to be. I resigned myself to a life where I'd just constantly be at someone else's beck and call and figured that's what it would be forever and ever amen. (the rest is under a cut because I got REALLY long-winded)
When the pandemic hit, I left a job that had me so wrung out and miserable for almost 6 years. And I woke the fuck up. I never really thought the job was the problem, and I don't think it was the whole issue- but it definitely contributed to my constant need to put my own feelings aside and take care of everyone else before myself. Just last year, my husband and I talked about how angry I used to be. Bless his patient heart, he told me that "things got pretty rough for a while. I wasn't sure if we'd pull through" and it broke my heart to know that my anger affected him in such a profound way.
BUT to backtrack, after I quit that job, I started going to therapy. I got back on meds, I got a life-changing diagnosis that really helped me explain and understand my decades of self-destructive patterns. And for the first time, I started to put myself first. It was ridiculously difficult at first. I started to notice small changes in the way my kids interacted with me, the way I could talk to people, the way I connected with online friends. It didn't come without some lessons along the way, some learned with great difficulty. I don't pretend to be a perfect example of someone who knows herself and knows others so completely, and I do still fuck up- but I own it. I don't try to blame others anymore. And I work to forgive myself without expecting others to do the work for me.
I've been lucky so far to never be directly shamed for being older in fandom spaces. I've surrounded myself with some beautiful souls- most of them being somewhere in the late twenties-late thirties range- and I just come around and be me, flaws and all. I talk about the things I like, I open my mind to the things I might not understand at first, I avoid the things that upset me (this might be the hardest one, especially when it's all available at our fingertips at any given moment). I've seen those posts about how people of a certain age are seen as "creepy" or "weird" or whatever the colorful adjective of the day may be for fandom "elders". And I'm sure there are probably people reading this now who feel that way about anyone who's over the age of 25, but it's all good! I'm having a good time. I'm enjoying the things I enjoy because it's fun to do so, and everyone should feel free to have a good time wherever we may end up, you know?
My heart breaks for you when I hear you say things like "I never thought I'd make it this far". My 16 year old has expressed the same sentiment to me recently, and it just knocks the wind right out of me to consider how that must affect your day to day life. I guess if I were to offer any advice, I'd say Congratulations! You've made it, and you're still making it! Keep going, don't stop, do whatever it takes to keep getting up in the morning and putting one foot in front of the other. Give yourself grace. Growing up and growing older really is a gift, and I KNOWWWWW that sounds corny and cliche to say so, but it REALLY is! Fuck the haters, damn the man (save the Empire), and enjoy crying and screaming over fictional characters, because why the hell not? There's no age limit on joy.
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tulipsnflowers Ā· 10 months ago
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pair ask: Metta and Nara
Oh god you'd expect I'd have more to say
Nexomon spoilers
The issue is. These two. Share. Zero. Words.
It's a problem. In fact Deena shares 0 words with all of her siblings. And she was right there in the frozen tundra. All of them were standing with Glacia and she went over with us and 0 lines were shared between them.
But that's off topic. James and Deena.
So... Depending on how you structure Omnikids you could make Deena and James not know each other by simply making James a thing after Deena already switched sides. That one complicates things, I'll skip over it for now, but it's worth mentioning
So... Yay. All of this is headcanon because JV doesn't know how to write and he isn't in n2 for some godforsaken reason
You also have to wonder if any of them know Deena's human form, and how involved Deena even was before this. Because she seemed shocked Nadine was there. Deena. What do you-
I digress. Anyhow.
James is Omnicron's 7th child. Often interpreted as the golden Child and/or the heir.
Deena, is the traitor. Omnicron's 4th child.
James took a bit to get his plan of reviving his siblings going - and Malk said they knew each other for a while, so it's probably been rocky.
Maybe James didn't know where Deena was - not impossible, or maybe he just didn't want to talk to her because while yes, she'd come in useful (life powers and all,) she already betrayed them.
You can think or not think she helped Ulzar, but at the very least she stood against Omnicron and refused to attack humans. She chose them over her family (not that it was a proper one)
So I don't think James wants to talk. They wouldn't have anything to say. Not to her, not after everything. (Though I do think some part of him really wants to. Despite rough patches, you were born knowing your siblings. When you grow up with them, you carry a part of their personality whether you want it or not. ) Plus after Omnicron literally disowned her, I don't think he even wants to risk the same
Deena - I don't know what she's been doing for a bit. I know she was in the netherworld for a while after n1 and between n1 postgame, but I can just assume she was in the forest pre n1. Which, in hindsight, is pretty obvious. James wouldn't even need to look far. Perhaps that's why Khan stayed the Overseer, cuz he doesn't necessarily bother there
I would like to think Deena tried at least once to say something. To convince him otherwise. He was alive, and they were the only two living Omnikids at that point. I don't think it went well, but she probably tried.
Then n1 happens. Deena is only with us in Forest, Phantom, Lateria and bit of Frozen. Only in Lateria do they truly get to see each other, right as James revives Grunda. Deena doesn't say anything. Not to James, not in general.
What can she even try to say? She's about to help the hero fight her own older brother - who let's be honest was probably a better parental figure than Omnicron - and quite probably kill him. She can't even say anything for her case. She can't even say sorry because she knows it's probably worthless.
They then don't talk. Because James is at top of the tower and Deena is quietly in the shadows. I like to think with Deena healing you and stopping your nexomon from turning - he knew. He had to have knew. He said nothing, and neither did she.
Because Omnicron was there, and because it's not worth it to say anything that could anger Omnicron on James' side (especially because while there's hatred I don't think it's all hatred. Not to his older sister), and not to blow her cover for Deena.
Because she has to do this. Her siblings may hate her, that she can handle, but she can do this for humanity. Just once more(if that wasn't a lie.)
And that was the last time the two saw each other in canon. In a way, I think if they just talked to each other - I don't know. Something different would have happened.
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bardengarde Ā· 1 year ago
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I hope you struggle with this ask game as much as I did. Love you.
BJ: 3, 20, 22
Hawkeye: 1, 2, 6, 12, 24
God Shan you said you were going easy on me then I reviewed the questions.... I wish I had an emote here for BJ's sarcastic smile. Love you too though, and augh.... *cracks knuckles* BJ Hunnicutt
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
Already this isn't fair, because you know me, you know my blog title, you know my beliefs. ...The entire episode of "Hanky Panky" though. I hate that he cheated on Peg (while still recognizing the significance of it to his character arc, and the archetype he fulfills). It was a hard fall when I got to that episode for the first time. I was rooting for him, we were all rooting for him. And the fact the date the episode released on is so close to my birthday- it felt like a targeted attack.
There are maybe other things..... won't share them here though, y'all stay safe.
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?
Assuming I'm meant to answer other than Hawkeye since they're canonically best friends, I really would have liked to see his and Klinger's friendship expand more. I love the banter they have, they seem to get along great, and even if Klinger isn't a dad in the show I feel like he has dad energy and I feel like they'd be really stoked to show each other pictures of their kids in the future and be excited for one another and the milestones their kids reach. I'll stop myself before I go too far off on the deep end with headcanons, but I think their dynamic is often fun and sweet and would love to see it explored more.
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?
To be so real with you, I've not read enough fics to have a good answer for this- like down to details. I guess my thing is knowing that BJ is a very complex characters with multiple layers- I feel like I'd get annoyed if I read a fic that took a very fanon approach to BJ and made him like a malicious liar type, which I don't think he is at all. Or if he was boiled down to jealousy or anger issues. That said, I love reading a fic where someone can nail his sense of humor or puns.
Hawkeye Pierce
1. Why do you like or dislike this character?
Why DO I like him, honestly??? I'm rewatching the show from the beginning rn and god.... I landed on this guy??? Echoing your answer when I asked you, he's definitely very complex and I am always learning new things about him/ coming to a different understanding in my interpretation of him. I really appreciate his character arc and what Alan Alda did with his character; I appreciate his views on him as well. I'm also drawn to characters where just about everything happens to them, and god Hawkeye might have pioneered that trope /hj
I'd also argue that I like Hawkeye so much because he's so much unlike the majority of my favorite characters previously. Traditionally, I've been more drawn to serious, academic characters, or charming and romantic, or softer and gentler, or even clean-cut types, and Hawkeye is.... different, to say the least. Not to say he's not capable of some of those qualities... sometimes, but he's... just vastly different than say Aramis, Enjolras, Riza Hawkeye, Peggy Carter, Philippe (mitim), and so on, and so on...
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
Hah.... This is also hard.
I like how imperfect he is. I would personally think of him as a good person (I say while wincing a bit), but I think more accurately he is a person who is trying to do his job to the best of his ability in one of the worst possible circumstances. And he tries to help people who are being mistreated along with it, and while standing up against idiocy and injustice, and being firm in his pacifism.
Despite that, he's sleazy, disrespectful, sometimes outright mean, and overall probably not someone I would want to be close friends with in real life. (At least, not at where he is in my current re-watching of the show.) He's not a 'saint in surgical garb'; he's a person. A very flawed person. And I like that. I like him. 6. What's something you have in common with this character?
I don't think I can answer this without getting too deep with it. Let's just say I like to think I'm funny sometimes.
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
I know none of these are new to you Shan, but you'll hear them again!!!
-I think one of Hawkeye's favorite ice cream flavors is Rum Raisin. I think he also likes splitting a banana split with someone else (as a kid- with either of his parents, does it on dates sometimes, etc)
-I'm purposefully twisting a line given in the show about him having a 'pet' stuffed owl, and saying he had a stuffed owl toy as a kid named Hooty.
-I think his favorite color is red.
-I have a very important headcanon to myself that after his mom passed away, he was given a lot of extra care and love by the moms of a few of his friends in Crabapple Cove. One would send along an extra packed lunch with their kid to make sure Hawkeye had something to eat at school. Another stopping him to fix where his hair looked a mess and straighten his shirt for him. And so, so many hugs and endearments. None of this was done because they thought that Daniel Pierce was neglectful or couldn't take care of Hawkeye, but because Daniel was grieving as well and they wanted to help where they could and ease some of the load off Daniel's shoulders with not only him becoming Hawkeye's sole guardian, but also while still being the towns doctor as well- while he's trying to pick up the pieces and get back on his feet.
I like to think even as an adult when Hawkeye sees one of his friends mom's who had helped taken care of him, he still runs up to them and gives them a big hug. :,)
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
Hehe, there's the rub because I don't know if I have one. Mayyyybe Grantaire since I have Les Mis on the mind today, but not reallyyyyy. No offense to Grantaire but Hawkeye is a lot more competent and cares a lot more about things. But drunk, comical, not straight, in love with a blond- that checks out.
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ominous-faechild Ā· 1 year ago
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OC Facts Tag
Thank you for the tag, @honeybewrites!
Rules: Make a list of fun facts about your OCs. Like a headcanon list, if you will! Except it's actually canon lol.
Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, Daleira, Faer
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Freya:
Knows a lot about sailing, but has mostly worked on ships by herself. Is she self-taught? Well, kinda--it's because of her dad basically being a god of the ocean. It's literally in her blood, and she's blessed to have good luck on the ocean. Not that it helps her if "luck" doesn't come into play...
Has mostly figured out how to translate three different forgotten languages by using only her own intelligence and libraries
Has anger issues but thinks of herself as a very calm person
Has a lot of nightmares, but remembers very few of them. Doesn't have very many good night's rests
For some reason, half of what she thinks and knows of her past contradict each other...
Sleeps curled up in a ball; likes cuddling with stuffed animals but left it at home when going to Lynsmouth because she thought her fiancƩ would judge her for it. Joke's on her, it's a fiancƩe, and she has way more than just one!
Would forgive her dad for his neglect if he just gave a sincere apology, a hug, and spent at least a few months with her every year
Hates standing out
Was previously in a toxic relationship with a man who groomed her. It caused a lot of her modern-day issues. Her dad is not aware of this, and she hopes to keep it that way.
Crow:
Both hates and loves the smell of blood
Forgot how to cry years ago
Is a fantastic actor and liar; thinks their lies are terrible and obvious, but is able to fool even some of the people best at reading body-language
Knows how to fight with two different types of weapons. Also knows hand-to-hand combat--that, and using a simple dagger, are what they're best at
Always has a knife/dagger within reach, but it's usually hidden behind one of their wings or their tail feathers
Their humor is, in reality, an act they put on to make people underestimate them. They are hyper-alert and constantly on guard
Is most comfortable sleeping on top of something spherical; likes wrapping their arms--and so their wings with them--around it, resting their cheek over their shoulder/wing, and splaying their legs out
However, is used to sleeping in terrible conditions. Just always needs to sleep on their stomach; it's painful to lay on their wings
Daleira:
Is almost certainly ADHD and is probably on the spectrum; I'd have to write more of her before I say the last part for sure, though
Doesn't have very many friends and is aware of it; most of the people in her life are either humoring her because they're afraid of her or because they want political power
Her obsession with magic originated from her trying to figure out if she could change what she is--aka, stop being a faerie and turn human
She's terrified of her own magic and refuses to use it. Most of the magic she uses in-story is during moments of panic (ie, used on reflex) or through a conduit
If she ever managed to "turn human", would cry for weeks about no longer being able to shapeshift. Her ability to shapeshift is one of the few things she likes about being a faerie
Has never been in a relationship before
Doesn't like to sleep because she's afraid of what her magic will do while she's unconscious. Lucky(?) her, she can literally make it so she doesn't have to sleep
Wishes she had a sibling or other people to relate to
Loves sweet food; lucky her, she won't ever gain weight unless she wants to
Faer:
Figured out engineering over time from reverse-engineering half-destroyed machinery
Likes cooking and sees it as very similar to engineering
He loves his hair and would cry if he had to cut it. Has not cut it once in over 5 years, not even to trim it.
Loves soft textures and wears an oversized cloak to hide his constant fidgeting, to generally keep his actions hidden, and to be able to pet it
The more I write about him, the more certain I am that I accidentally made ANOTHER goddamn autistic character istg--
Although he claims the cyborg bobcat that follows him everywhere is his familiar, it is not. It is an actual bobcat. They bonded over a series of incidents of saving each other's lives and refuse to part from each other
Refuses to set foot in a forest until his life depends on it. Thankfully, now lives in a city.
The giant scar over his face is far from the only one he has.
Has PTSD and is constantly aware of his surroundings
Met Daleira when she saved him, but actually likes her as a friend and person
Is suspicious of Valyarus, but doesn't know how to tell Daleira that her dad gives him major creep vibes
"Faer" (pronounced "fair") is not actually his name
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Tagging (with no pressure): @the-letterbox-archives @the-golden-comet @yourpenpaldee @darkandstormydolls @themboty + anyone else who wants to join!
Divider by @cafekitsune
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