#I'm always happy to receive asks or comments so don't feel worried about sending me more! I loved reading this <33!

[celaenaeiln]

C: Hi there! Even if I've been reading dick Grayson(and in turn batfamily) fics for a few weeks now, I've never actually watched/read DC stuff because even if I liked superheroes, I'm not invested enough to read the actual comics. The most I watched was the Teen Titans 2003 cartoon(which I love). I was brought into interest cause I was brought in through crossovers of other fandoms (which may be hated by some/many😅)

To give myself context, I tried to read around for Robin, and imagine my surprise there's more than one? Which, okay mantle thing I guess. But in the end, Dick Grayson caught my attention(not rlly for his looks and design, but more of his heroism and entire personality and affect in the DC world). Which leads to looking at other tumblrs and I love reading yours and when you answer the asks cause it's so much easier for me to understand the kind of person Dick is and how he interacts with the world.

Sorry for this long context, but I just want maybe your opinion, what if your opinion in the combination of how Dick Grayson should be written for him to Thrive

- Should he stay in Gotham, being in with the batfamily more? Soloing in Bludhaven? Staying with the titans? Or others?

- what about his romantic relationships? Who should be is one true one(based on canon gfs), or maybe stay single? (Just gonna be biased, but I've only knew about dickbabs and dickkory (but I heard he has other girlfriends and I've remember reading he was almost married...a few times??) but dickkory had always been for me)

- What about mentally wise? (Of course, I do think Dick needs a long vacation because of all the trauma that he has to go through), but even if I like the idea of Dick being admired for his looks because he deserves it, but I do rmbr posts that he is uncomfy with this(sexualisation, Def only staying true to the person he loves (then there's the whole...Tarantula and more thing)

Tbf, I do think is a little bit of all is what makes Dick, Dick. Haha

Sorry for the long ask, feel free to not answer because i just needed to get this out😅. I know it's actually bad I'm reading fics without canon knowledge for personality, but your posts makes me understand him more that I understand what's real and what's fanon in fics (that makes me..ugh.. but I read anyway for plot cause i don't know better)

But thank you anyway for reading this and I love your content!

(last one for this ask I swear: I've been seeing stuff where Robin name is actually Dick's mom calling Dick that. Then it's passed down as a mantle starting from Jason without Dick consenting. I tried to read at wiki, maybe I missed out but I can't find anything. Is it true? Does the other bats (except Bruce and Alfred?) know the actual meaning? Because as much as I love Dami, the whole bloodson, birthright to take the mantle of Robin beside Batman give me ugh feelings if it's true) :C

First of all, thank you so much!! I'm so happy to hear you like my stuff <333!!

I think it's fine that you started in the fandom since I sort of started out that way too lol. I had only watched Teen Titans Animated show and Young Justice before I got into fanfics and my first comic I ever read was actually Teen Titans (2011) which was Tim's run. It's been a journey.

Dick's personality was also what captivated me so here I am!

"Should he stay in Gotham, being in with the batfamily more? Soloing in Bludhaven? Staying with the titans? Or others?"

That's a really good question and a complex one. Ironically, for being such a people person, Dick seems to be doing best when he's by himself. When he's soloing, he has a sense of freedom and independence that he's been craving for a long time. The whole reason he left Bruce was because he felt like Bruce was suddenly treating him like a kid, like someone to look after, when he had been treating Dick like a partner the whole time. When Dick feels like his independence is being stepped on, it unsettles him. This is another reason why the Tom Taylor run and Dick's relationship pisses me off but that's for another time. As much as he likes Gotham, he loves Bludhaven. He thinks it's a dirty, crime-filled city, sure, but he loves it there.

He's a little crazy like that.

He doesn't have the same attachment to Gotham that Bruce does. Instead he feels that for Bludhaven.

The only reason I'm saying Dick is better off staying alone than with the Titans is because of his leadership mentality. There's a comic that I forgot the name of but Dick teams up with members of the Justice League and they trapeze through a jungle under the orders of this corrupt military general. He teams up with Arthur and automatically starts commanding people to which Aquaman tells him off, saying this isn't the Titans. Dick is genuinely sorry and backs off. For a minute. But immediately goes right back into command mode but Arthur lets it go, realizing that Dick's not conscious of it and that his behaviour is automatic. "Too many leaders" he calls the situation in his head. For Dick, the Titans have become a responsibility now. He loves them like crazy but they look up at him automatically for directions and order and he's gotten so used to leading them that it's his go to mode.

He just likes doing stuff without someone hovering over his shoulder or having to take care of others.

"what about his romantic relationships? Who should be is one true one(based on canon gfs), or maybe stay single? (Just gonna be biased, but I've only knew about dickbabs and dickkory (but I heard he has other girlfriends and I've remember reading he was almost married…a few times??) but dickkory had always been for me)"

Yeah, I've actually loved almost all of his romantic relationships. I hate Dickbabs but every other one has been fantastic. Kori was great for him.

Action Comics (1938) Issue #618

Dick says it again here. He used to envy Roy's freedom. He's also said in another comic that he fell in love with Kori for her freedom.

Secret Origins (1986) Issue #13

You're right, he has gotten almost married a few times

The first time was with Kori

The New Titans (1988) Issue #100

But then

The New Titans (1988) Issue #100

their pastor gets vaporised and body-controlled Raven feeds the soul of one of Trigon's children into Kori and she goes crazy but she recovers but it's a whole ordeal. In the end they don't get a chance to complete their marriage. They were spectacular together though. The only reason their wedding didn't go through is because the Batfam writers wanted Dick back so they took him from the Titans' writers and they needed a big dramatic scene to cut him off from the Titans. Another reason why Barbara was deaged and created as a love interest- to gatekeep him in the family.

He's also gotten married to Barbara before the retcon though.

Batman Family Issue #11

But here they were forced to by Maze and they went along with it and tricked him. At the end though, they just grab a bite to eat.

Ngl I actually would've supported this marriage. I really love this Barbara. Yes the age difference is a bit much but whatever, I still like them.

Dick and Barbara have gotten married in an alternate timeline.

Convergence: Nightwing/Oracle Issue #2

yeah, definitely didn't like this one.

Dick's also gotten fake married to a woman because Batman and Dick thought she was killing her husbands after marrying them so Dick married her to see if it was true.

Nightwing (1996) Annual #1

I liked her. She wasn't the killer and Dick did a fantastic job raising her son but even though she loved him, he didn't love her and they divorced amicably. I wish I could see more of her and her son though.

To be completely honest, my favorites for Dick are Kori and Bea.

Bea was a fantastic partner. She was understanding, loving, caring, and responsible. She was there when he was Ric Grayson and just loved him for who he was.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #53

If Kori's truly out of the picture, then Dick really should've settled down with her.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #57

She and Kori, they don't tell Dick what to do or who to be. They let him be free which is why I loved them an extraordinary amount. I'm a sucker for soft moments and Bea and Dick are couple goals.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #62

They give him the freedom he craves.

"What about mentally wise? (Of course, I do think Dick needs a long vacation because of all the trauma that he has to go through), but even if I like the idea of Dick being admired for his looks because he deserves it, but I do rmbr posts that he is uncomfy with this(sexualisation, Def only staying true to the person he loves (then there's the whole...Tarantula and more thing)"

I think Dick does need a break. His life has been a series of unfortunate events but despite all that, I think he loves it that way. Dick loves the thrill of adventure. It's the heart of who he is and why he became robin. The excitement he gets when fighting or doing crazy stunts - he loves all of it and that is his coping mechanism. I guess in order for him to thrive, Bruce needs to stop dumping all his trauma and stop expecting him to be there for him at all times of the day. Dick keeps getting dragged back to Gotham to take care of Bruce and his problems and he would go in a heartbeat but he's much happier wacking his own goons in Bludhaven. But since Bruce is so codependent on Dick, this pattern's not gonna stop anytime soon.

Truth be told I also like Dick being admired for his looks. I don't like him being called out by it though. First of all why would you comment "hot booty" to someone? It's degrading and humiliating even if you think it's a compliment. Some things are better left untold. But regardless of what people think, Dick will always be pretty and everyone in the DC universe knows this. Heroes, civilians, villains - they're all attracted to him on some level because he's so beautiful. And honestly? I'm all for it! Because that boy is the prettiest human in existence and he deserves that recognition. Just not vocally or physically.

The best thing is that Dick's beauty has no bearing on his mentality toward people. This man will choose one person and stick with them forever. He values intimacy and trust and love in his relationships which is why he's so attached to each one. This plays a massive role in his relationship with Kori. He would never cheat. Actually in all the future comics, after his spouse passes away or leaves, he never remarries. The only one exception was Batman Beyond (2016). The only one and he remarries Barbara after his wife passes away. Aside from that he remains a single parent. That's how dedicated he is.

"I've been seeing stuff where Robin name is actually Dick's mom calling Dick that. Then it's passed down as a mantle starting from Jason without Dick consenting. I tried to read at wiki, maybe I missed out but I can't find anything. Is it true? Does the other bats (except Bruce and Alfred?) know the actual meaning? Because as much as I love Dami, the whole bloodson, birthright to take the mantle of Robin beside Batman give me ugh feelings if it's true)"

Yup Dick's mother called Dick Robin.

Nightwing (2011) Issue #0

Robin (1993) Annual #4

Here's a couple but there are more instances of his mom calling him Robin.

Dick had no idea Bruce passed on the Robin costume. He finds out through the newspaper because Bruce is pissed at Dick. Like he's so mad that when he told Dick to leave, Dick actually left.

You know how there's a saying about not being able to take back words of anger? Bruce is feeling that heavily. He already had suspicions that Dick wanted to leave but before Dick could tell him, he fired him so he wouldn't have to hear those words. But Bruce is super mad that Dick left anyway. So what does he do? He makes the first boy he sees Robin.

And Jason finds out Dick was Robin when he confronts Bruce why Nightwing knows Bruce's identity. And that gets Bruce more mad because he's now feeling guilty which is when Dick comes to confront Bruce.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But instead of meeting anger for anger, Dick expresses his hurt. About how they were partners and then talks about his life after leaving Bruce.

And Bruce loves Dick. His best friend, son, brother, and partner for nearly 11 years. They raised each other and despite his anger, he smiles in pride and love.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

Look at his smile!! He's so proud of his son.

And that's when Dick stops pulling his punches.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

Bruce looks so wrecked. The guilt and sorrow is tantamount to his pain.

Then Dick asks Bruce why he choose someone new.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

So Bruce tells him. But Dick and Bruce's relationship go way deeper than just friends or family. They know each other. They revolve around each other so Dick calls him out.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

And out comes the truth

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But Dick has always been the bigger man and instead of letting Jason become some sort of spite move, he turns Robin into a legacy.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

He passes it down like it was meant to be passed down. Because let's be honest here. The Robin name and costume is Dick's. If he wanted to, he could've taken it back, Bruce be damned. And that was one of Jason's fears.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But despite Bruce's words to Jason

Batman (1940) Issue #416

He's not sure himself.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But it's only with Dick's approval that he becomes Robin which is what Bruce is thanking at the end.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

And this has been a sort of tradition.

Dick approved of Jason being Robin, he endorsed Tim, and he made Damian Robin. The only exception being Stephanie. This is why Dick feels a heavy sense of responsibility over the robin predicament. He created the tradition. He approved, supported, and mentored every robin that walked in his colors and name. That's why he feels the burden of it.

I don't think any of the other robins know the meaning behind the name. Maybe they do. But ironically, the one who wasn't robin is the one who knows the meaning of it.

Duke.

[zoeykallus]

Important for requesting people...

Okay, I thought about this for a while, and I've decided something.

I get tons of requests, many of them downright praising my work, before asking their request. I'm flattered, very much so, I can't even put into words how overwhelmed I sometimes feel, because of all the requests flooding in (In a good way, because it's super flattering and sometimes in a bad way, because I always worry about not having enough time and being too slow. I know some of you were used to me writing every day, sometimes multiple things a day. But nowadays days I work three jobs and I just can't do it daily anymore without burning out). However, there is something that would be much more important to me.

Now comes the downside of what I have to tell you. If you send me a request, Non-Anon, asking me to do something for you (which I'm usually happy to do), but I can't find your name in my notification list even once in the last four weeks because you haven't liked anything of mine, let alone reblogged it, I won't even think about fulfilling your request. I'm not asking for anything except the occasional reblog. That's not too much to ask, is it?

Now, how, or why, did I come to this conclusion?

Pretty simple. I looked through the last 35 requests I received, and I saw a few names that didn't ring a bell at all. Requesting peeps that were praising me to the heavens, telling me they read everything I write/wrote (you don't have to do that, by the way). And out of curiosity, I went to my desktop PC, went through my notifications, checking it thoroughly for those names, in the period of the last four to six weeks. No notifications, nor reblog, no comment, not even a like. Don't get this wrong, I wasn't angry, but I felt disappointed, maybe even a bit deceived. I thought, why should I consider working on those (some of them quite extensive) requests, when I get nothing back?

Of course, I also make Anon requests, as I'm sure you've seen, and more than a few of those. So of course I can't keep track of that. I get that some peeps are just shy and that's totally okay, that's why I trust my anons and give them the benefit of a doubt, so to speak.

Just a reblog, that's all I'm asking for. (Or at least a like) Because that's what's actually keeping me doing this stuff, seeing that it was worth the time I spent doing it, seeing that people really read it. Now, before any of you start making any comments about ego. It's more about limited time, because as an adult in the middle of life, with three jobs, you just like to see that the things you do for others in your spare time are appreciated or liked in some way. It just makes us writers feel good and not lose the desire to write. I'd even say it should be common courtesy on tumblr.

Don't get me wrong, I have so much love for you guys, I love requests. Furthermore, I'm grateful for your input, your ideas, that you are feeding me with inspiration for my passion to write. I'm just talking about one hand washing the other. Mutual respect, we can all benefit from this, one way or another. You don't need to butter me up, just a friendly hello before you make your request and the occasional reblog will do, and I'll gladly fulfill your HC/Drabble/One-Shot wishes in the fanfiction section. Honestly, I'd rather have your reblog/or comment on one of my works, than a four sentence long praise in your request 😅😉

Love, Zoey

💚

[throwaway-yandere]

!!!Yandere Genshin/Reader 2.5k Follows Mini-Event: Secret Penpals (Masterlist)!!!

cw: contains yandere themes, including stalking, possessive behavior, etc. do not engage if you’re sensitive to the topics mentioned. prioritize your mental health first, you matter.   

Time remaining: █ days, █ hours, █ minutes (closed!!! please wait until Thoma delivers all the letters &lt;3)

✧ Inazuma is currently holding another Irodori Festival and the Yashiro Commission and Yae Publishing House has a secret pen pal service going on... Perhaps you should write a letter and hand it over to Ms. Hina! Who knows, maybe you'll find another Paimon!

Possible Rewards: A new friend : )

“How is the list, Gorou?”

“Well, I got the names of some of the penpals. We got Always-So-Busy Sakabashira, Widower Momiji, A Headless Knight, Calx, and a couple more weird and whimsical names… There’s like… around 10 or something.”

“Ah, I see, Sakabashira is █████ isn’t it– wait, even Calx is joining? Isn’t he a Mondstadter?”

“Aren’t you one too? Now that you mention it, there’s a couple of foreigners joining this event– we even got someone from Snezhnaya.” 

“Haha, where do you think Blue Eyes White Dragon could be from? Betting on Liyue.”

“Hmm… I have a hunch that they’re from Fontaine...”

“But what if they’re yokai, though?”

...

“... Do yokais play TCG?”

"... I know Itto does…"

[match-up event guidelines under the cut]

—-------

SALUTATIONS! Mx. Ansy here– thank you so much for the 2k follows! I don’t celebrate White Days so this will be the reason why this event exists. No clue why that happened, but for the celebration’s sake, here’s a mini event as my thanks!!! (Even though it’s long overdue since I’m at 2.5k hahahaha…) 

Thank you to everyone that followed, liked, left comments (omg), reblogged, etc. ILYSM!!!! <3 (Don’t worry, I’m still working on the idol au ehe. I need you all to know about music composer!Tighnari’s mental fatigue.)

Here are the event guidelines and an example of how this works provided by “Ms. Hina” and “Fixer”!

Event Guidelines ✥:

NO NSFW MESSAGES. (Please remember someone is writing behind all this lmao. I’m asexual so my humblest apologies.)

Feel free to go nuts with your pen pal's name! No need to use the word “anon”. As long as you kept your identity a secret, you’re safe! There’s no real rule, just make sure it’s not longer than 6 words. 

Why is six words the maximum? Well… My best friend, Fried Tofu With All The Frills, “suggested” that it’s better that way…

Remember who runs this event behind the screen. Expect stalkers, monsters, etc. to respond to your letter.

You don't know who your pen pal is. Don't name who the receiver of your letter is. This is luck-based, and if I'm feeling like a gremlin I might just send your letter to Reckless Pallad if you do this lol. 

As the event name suggests: some might get villain NPCs & non-yandere character/s. Welcome back to another round of RNG if you aren’t already fricking tired from artifact grinding.

Only one penpal per person. No repeats. Every time I do an event, the yanderes are loyal.

Are you reading the guidelines? Good. Take note of this specific instruction or else I won’t add your letter to the event registration: greet your pen pal with a “Happy Irodori Festival!” or anything similar. That’s how I’ll know you’ve read everything.

Your letter could be around 200 words max but don’t feel forced to hit that threshold haha. Talk about whatever you want then send it in this blog’s ask box! I’ll pass it on to Ms. Hina or Fixer ♡

The response you’ll receive varies, but expect a minimum word count of at least 100 (some characters just won't write long). Hard to fit things with a single letter. Maybe your pen pal would be desperate enough to write 2 pages on their first reply. But don’t count on it. I’m trying my best to give out short replies to this event. The last idol event had 2k-6k word counts (when my plan was 1.8k max). This is me trying my best to exercise self-control lolololol.

Every letter is made on Canva. Huge shoutout to that website for carrying my SHS career and this event because I have S-tier garbage handwriting.

Also, a huge shoutout to @/watatsumiis! General inspired me to do this event, so please check his works if you want to read fluffy fics that’ll make you giggle! He provides such amazing brain rots, I swear. Unlike this gremlin right here, he’s wonderful and wholesome both as a writer and a person.

Well then, time for an example! Please copy Ms. Hina’s lead when you write your letter &lt;3

Tutorial/Example ✥:

“Dear Secret Penpal,

Happy Irodori festival! My name is Miss Hina, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I know that festivals tend to make everyone exhausted, so whoever this letter is addressed to, I hope you’re taking care of yourself. Remember to eat and drink water regularly! Even when to be honest, I already know who you are. I’m not great at talking about myself, but if anything is troubling you, don’t keep it all muzzled up inside.

- Ms. Hina”

The “penpal”’s reply (example only!!!):

Hmm, wonder who that could be? /s

Have fun!!! Happy Irodori Festival!!! (even though it’s windblume rn. I just can’t think of a book-based genshin event so lol here’s an advanced irodori patch for everyone.)

List of penpals/Masterlist:

SOME ARE CURRENTLY A SECRET

Don't get too cocky, though. Some of them aren't who you think they are ehe

"Calx" - Luthien

"Deshret" - Lisa

"Blue Eyes White Dragon" - ????

"Always-So-Busy Sakabashira" - Second Hand Of Time

"A Headless Knight" - Choco Found In Puppy's Tummy

"Widower Momiji" - Starlight

"Big Ears" - Honey On A Stick

"Fixer" - Tofu

"Fratello" - ????

No name - Vermiculis Creatio

No name - ????

[ryker-writes]

I saw your match-up event, and congratulations on 2.1K!!! You deserve the love, and I'm thrilled to see you're getting it! I'm sorry that I couldn't send this ask as @it-happened-one-fic, but Tumblr wouldn't let me.

I've never actually done a match-up before, though I have taken some match-up quizzes. I hope I did this right and gave you enough information!

I'm introverted by nature and can be rather shy (it's probably mild social anxiety, but that's okay). If it helps, my Myer-Briggs is INFP. I tend to say whatever is on my mind, which can lead to some odd comments (i.e. random fun facts) and a lot of people describe me as random.

Likes: It's hard to decide what to put here... I'm constantly listening to music, and I enjoy cooking, especially baking. I adore terrariums and have several mushroom-themed things (no, it's not because of Jade; I've always adored mushrooms and thought they were cute). I enjoy looking at art and researching random interests such as mythology, folklore, and even history. And finally, I'm  interested in psychology, as evidenced by my chosen major.

Dislikes: I am terrified of snakes, and I genuinely cannot handle olives (it's one of the few foods I can't handle). I don't really care for crowds or loud noises (sensitive hearing). If I had to choose, I'd probably pick cold over hot.

Hobbies: I have quite a few hobbies, actually! (At least I do when college allows.) I embroider, do flower arrangements, play piano, write stuff, read (I love reading XD), color, and I do game a little (Genshin and twst are about it though).

Personality/Physical Preferences: I don't actually have very many physical preferences. I mean, their being attractive would be nice, but their personality is more important, so in terms of physical preferences, all I can really say is that I would like someone healthy. Personality-wise, I have stronger opinons XD. I would like someone who would make a good father. I would like to find someone who is reliable so that I don't have to handle everything. They don't have to do anything by any means either, but I do want some I can rely on in difficult moments. I would also like it if they were a little more on the perceptive side. I tend not to talk about my feelings very often, so someone who could notice when I'm down without me having to spell it out would be quite nice. Finally, and perhaps most condemningly, it is important that I find someone who is fairly tough. I can be incredibly blunt sometimes, and though I do not intend to hurt feelings, it can happen. Especially when there is something that needs to be pointed out to someone for their own good. As such, it would be for the best if I found someone who is on the tougher side and will realize that even though I may be harsh at times, I typically say such things out of love.

My Love Language(s): (I had to ask my mom and sister about this one because I honestly wasn't sure XD.)  In terms of the love language I use (I guess my giving love language??), I'm a very physically affectionate person. I can hug someone for a very long period of time without tiring of it, and I am a cuddlebug. Furthermore, I can be held or do the holding (though I admit I do like a trade-off XD). As for receiving, it's a bit harder to say. However, if I had to make a guess as to what my preferred one is, I would say quality time. I think it's very important to spend time with those we love and care about, and it is only through quality time that you can really get to know a person.

That ended up rather long, but I hope that was enough information, and again, congratulations!!!!!

Ahhhh Happy late birthday again! And thank you so much!

"Welshoot my dear! I'm honored to be your first matchmaker! Not to worry, you gave me plenty to work with! I'm confident in my answer. Of course, I am a little bias since I know you personally, but I like to think that it works beyond my bias.

You may already know, but I'm talking about Jade!"

Listen I know I am biased in this for choosing Jade but he actually works very well with you! Like with your personality likes, preferences, and everything!

he absolutely loves your shy and introverted nature!

not gonna lie, he will probably tease you about it and he hopes that you don't take all his teasing in a negative way because he does it a lot

he also loves your randomness! He's not bothered by it at all (he deals with Floyd) and it's one of the big reasons he loves you

never knowing what you're going to say next is exciting for him!

ahem, TERRARIUM AND MUSHROOM GATHERING DATES

Jade is used to making terrariums and going out to look for mushrooms on his own, so you going with means so much to him

it's some of his favorite things to do with you

I literally cannot express with words how much he loves it

those terrariums he made with you are his favorite ones because it's something the two of you made together

Jade himself finds psychology and human minds fascinating so he'll happily listen to anything you have to say about it and store that information in his brain

he takes note of all your dislikes and take care to avoid them

you will never taste a dish with olives as long as he's around

your hobbies are so cool and pretty! Jade loves them and treasures anything you create

pls play piano for him he loves to hear it

Jade also checks off most of your preferances!

I'm just saying...Jade would be a great father but that's a story for another day

Reliable? Perceptive? Tough? Yup that's Jade

he's very observant especially when it comes to you, so you bet he can tell when you're feeling upset

he may not always directly ask you about it though

he'll probably try doing what he can to make things easier on you or figure out what is wrong on his own before asking

Jade has thick skin and can take whatever you say

as for love languages, Jade himself isn't very physically affectionate

but he's never going to turn your affection down!

he just doesn't initiate it most of the time

but he's got you covered when it comes to quality time

Jade loves to spend time with you and it's another reason why he loves making terrariums and searching for mushrooms so much

he just can't get enough time with you tbh

[m-a-w-a]

Will you be writing more of vegaspete Uni AU? THOSE 2HOUR USED TO READ THE TWO WORKS WERE SO WORTH , I NEED MORE 🙏🙏🙏 would love to see how they got together in sch since it was mentioned before!!!

Thank you, I'm happy you liked them!! ❤️. Uni VegasPete are very special to me, they're my little messed-up babies !

As for more works, I don't know yet. I have a few drafts in that series (when don't I 😅) but I'm working on something a little bit different for the moment.

No promises but I never say never :)

How about a sneak peek though ? It's all I have for now !

[Warning: unedited draft under the cut. Explicit. Collar.]

I can’t stop thinking about it. I know it’s all a stupid joke. I know they were trying to rile me up with that stupid gift. They wanted me to splutter and be offended and it worked – I was. Just not for the reasons that they imagined.

It was all because of Tankhum of course, who somehow managed to corner us into watching a stupid k-movie about a guy receiving a collar with his name engraved on it at work (then of course, promptly getting found out by a colleague he manages to turn into his dom-mistress then fall in love with). Of course, the other guys found it very funny, not understanding the appeal of total submission for a second, making snarky remarks and ridiculous comments, completely missing the point of the movie.

All they saw was a guy with a leash pretending to bark and asking to be hit.

They didn’t get it all.

Not the way I did. Not the way I still can’t stop thinking about it.

They also seemed to find my silence and obvious awkwardness very funny, calling me a prude princess and roughing me up like I was some blushing virgin with no experience and no kink. I didn’t even try to pretend otherwise. People always take me for far more innocent that I really am.

Even Vegas is only now starting to realise the depth of my depravity, and I still don’t dare to admit the half of it, even if I’m more and more convinced that he might himself be a lot more into it than he lets on.

I don’t want to risk it though. What if it’s all wishful thinking? What if I tell him that my best friend offered me a collar and a leash as a prank-gift and I can’t fucking stop thinking about it? That it was all I could think about when he was fucking me tonight? That I came imagining him putting it on me and leading me around by the leash? Calling me a dog and pet and being my owner.

It feels so wrong having those thoughts when he’s sleeping peacefully next to me, sheets rumpled around him, nose scrunched up in the cute way he always does when he is deep in sleep. He always looks so relaxed when he sleeps next to me, that near-constant frown disappearing from his face, the weight in his eyes hidden from the world. He used to be so agitated before, turning and moving and waking up in a sweat with the lost look of someone not knowing where he is. He was always tense, ready to strike, in a perpetual expectation of deception and judgement. He’d wake up and apologize and refuse to go back to sleep before me.

It’s all changed now. From his own admission, he sleeps better next to me. Gone are the worry and tension, because he trusts me now.

He’s miles away from imagining that I’m still awake, frozen in bed, unable to get my mind out of the gutter and stop thinking about that stupid collar with my name engraved on it that my best friends gifted me as a ridiculous joke for my birthday.

I give it another ten minutes before I give up and yield to my worst instincts.

I send a last look towards Vegas’ sleeping face and try to ignore the tight guilty feeling in my throat as I get up. Blindly, not daring to turn the light on, I retrieve the box I hid in the bottom drawer of my dresser, buried under an unkept pile of old, out-of-season sweaters then I go to the bathroom in silence, closing the door behind me.

I lay the box on the counter next to the sink. I dare not touch it. My hands are shaking. My lips hurt from being chewed on so much, but I can’t help it. My mind is in a whirlwind, it’s been this way since those assholes made me open the box in the middle of the restaurant.

I turned beet-red and they laughed – I bet they can’t even imagine me standing in front of the gift in the middle of the night, stomach in knots, the want and need singing from the deepest, darkest corners of my mind.

This is crazy. I am crazy.

I must be. What kind of person sees a dog collar with their name on it and thinks ‘Oh fuck, that turns me on’?

Even now, hours later and loose from being fucked hard and deep barely a couple hours ago (‘warming up for your birthday’, Vegas had said), I can still feel myself trembling, little tremor making my hands shake as I caress the box with my fingertips.

[leedongwook]

-> re: reblogging issue convo

Thank you for the kind answer, as always. I hope you get all the reblogs and more people support your work, you really deserve it! 🩷

I'm one of the "old bloggers" too, been around here for 15 years and just turned 30 last month 🥳 and you're right, could be the age why we dont understand the conceptual change 😭😂

I'm also pretty sure we both have the same idea of tumblr and how to use it respectfully and politely, so as to not make this ask even longer, I'll skip it if that's ok?

The thing is, some content creators I follow occasionally post rants and warnings about not wanting any opinions in the hashtags, comments, any text added to their gif sets, positive thoughts included. It's not that I've ever received a msg directly, but I do feel like I'm being yelled at too in those rants because I type things like "this is so gorgeous and I love that character so much" in the tags.

I definitely don't reblog as much as before and tbh don't even want to anymore. That, however, doesn't include your work, which I often reblog without thinking twice. So thank you, for everything you're doing here. Wishing you a nice week 🫶🏻🩷☀️🌺

I am so happy to see you back, I was worried my answers were maybe a bit too direct and harsh. Thank you for your kind words and wishes, I appreciate it 💕 We are the "oldies" on here huh :) yeah I think we both know the true Tumblr etiquette and how to blog the right way (I wish some more people had that common sense again duh!)

Oh, I see what you mean now. I think I've said it in one of my asks, how much we love to read other people's thoughts and opinions (= you screaming about how much you love the character/person or show or scene or whatever in the gifset) on our gifsets/content. So please always reblog stuff and yell about how much you love it, it's the best thing to see :) I know some content creators don't like when people add stuff to their gifset in the comment section and not in the tags. So it changes the layout/style of the original post a bit. I don't mind if people add their thoughts in the comments section and it's defo no reason to send hate to other bloggers.

What I personally dislike tho is, when people reblog my gifset and add negative tags to it (like I fuckn hate this show, or the character sucks). Why reblog something you don't like, that makes no sense to me. That's actually the only reason I don't like people reblogging my gifs. Thankfully most of the reblogs I get are lovely and happy reblogs which makes me happy too :)

Anyway, I think I got what you mean and I think you also understand my points. Thanks for talking about this and clearing things up. I get why it's a bit discouraging for you to reblog stuff, no one wants to get hate and no one should get hate, ever. I do hope your Tumblr experience will get better and you can enjoy reblogging again.

Thank you for supporting my work and for reblogging my stuff, it means a lot to me. All the best to you and have a wonderful week 😘

[anonymousbeefriendfanfics]

Hello! I have a few small but important announcements to make!

I have officially decided to tag my creative work with a specific tag to make it easier to find! The catch-all tag is #beefriend-writes, but I'll also use #beefriend's-fics and #beefriend's-hcs! And theoretically #beefriend's-drabbles, if I can ever, you know, write one of those... unfortunately my mind insists on all or nothing. Sigh.

Now that I've got that ironed out, I'm going to resume posting queued things from the fandoms. I hesitated before, mostly due to disliking how cluttered my blog got from doing it, but... well, that's what tags are for! Should I make a tag for the queued posts, too?

Holy jesus it's Mermay! I've always wanted to participate in that, so please, send me ideas and requests! I'll try to track down a prompt list or three somewhere and toss them your way. No promises they'll get written in May, but I do promise I will try!

Also, teeny update on the oc front: I've gotten some very good work done on developing them into something I'm not terrified to share, and I'll be revealing them sooner or later! Stay tuned~

And again, I feel I must apologize for my frequent absenses and thank you all for standing by me. You're a truly wonderful community, and I feel blessed by every single interaction I receive. Seriously, I have some of your comments and tags saved on my phone because they made me so happy! My mental health is... not great, as usual, but slowly improving for once. I simply cannot manage to force myself to write anything I don't feel the motivation to do, which is why I've barely been posting. I cannot tell you how many times I've scrolled through asks or stared blankly at an empty page struggling to start on something, anything. My interest in nearly everything has withered and died, and I've been fighting to try and get it back for several months. I am far from out of the woods yet, but I promise I will not disappear for good. I will come back and write for you all whenever my mind permits. I hope to get through all of the requests I've been given one day, but for now, I'm simply choosing whatever sparks my interest the most at any given moment. Requests are still open, and they have a tendency to spark new ideas and give me more motivation, so please don't worry about overwhelming me! I welcome them, even if I cannot write them immediately.

[itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare]

have you considered commenting <3

this is a short rant, so feel free to ignore. It's not directly aimed at you, I just thought of it after I read that tag...

I love commenting on fics, that's the main reason I made an Ao3 account, so I can let authors know I love their work. And it was going great for a while, but right now I'm mentally drained and I still want to leave comments, but at the same time I feel bad about just leaving one word comments when I used to leave at least 5 sentences, so I don't leave any comment because I feel this pressure to comment the best comment ever (tm) even though I know it's not what anyone is expecting. Heck, I write myself and I'd be happy to receive just an emoji as a comment.

But especially with a series where I've been commenting at every chapter I feel like I'd let the down by not putting in more effort to comment, especially if they might recognise me as a regular commentar and suddenly I'm not leaving long elaborate comments. I don't want authors to worry that I didn't like a chapter, when I loved it, I just don't have the word at the moment...

hi!! thank you for wording this the way you did, because i've been having a lot of thoughts about comments on fics lately and you're giving me the excuse to express them <3

first of all, if you've ever commented on anything, know that you're appreciated. i know that it's hard sometimes. for the first couple of years of me using ao3, i barely commented on anything, even though i knew how important comments are. i knew, and i still didn't do much more than leave a kudo, and that's on me. i can only hope those authors got the appreciation they deserve from someone else.

because here's the thing; most of us are doing this for the love of writing, for the love of these characters of whichever fandom is the drug of your choosing, and for the love of sharing. and as someone who's been writing an underperforming series for the past five months, let me tell you that it sucks to write and be passionate and share and receive fuck-all in return. it really sucks. and it's not about the number of interactions or about the analytical quality of the comments or whatever. it's the fact that a lot of the time, once a week or two have passed, we get absolutely nothing. writing gets lost in the tags or buried between more popular fics, and sometimes it feels like an endless uphill battle.

i'm not saying that to complain, i'm just saying that this is hard, sometimes. it's a wonderful hobby and i love it, but it's difficult.

lately, i haven't been writing a lot and i haven't been reading a lot, and if i do read, i mostly do it here, on tumblr. i've always felt there's a certain seriousness about the comments on ao3, even though i'm not sure why. we're all regularly going batshit on tumblr though, and sometimes you just need to reply with a meme of a crying cat, you know? so if your reading tastes can be accomodated on here—because a lot of writers actually cross-post their stuff between platforms—maybe that could be helpful.

but, GOD, let me speak on behalf of every writer i've ever known. i would KILL, and i mean positively MURDER for you if you just left me a single emoji on every chapter or fic you enjoyed. i really mean that. i don't need anything more. you don't need to have smart thoughts or elaborate explanations of why you liked something or didn't. of course those things are appreciated but for the love of god they are not expected. the only thing, and i mean the ONLY thing we want is to know that people read our stuff. and we can't know that if you don't tell us. there's no way of knowing.

i don't look at the likes on my fics. i can't do that to myself anymore, and so those people don't exist for me. that might sound harsh, but the only way for me to keep my sanity is to focus on the few who do comment. who do reblog. who do send asks.

if you're a regular commenter, i will notice. i will not mind if your comment is a single character, or illegible gibberish, or a one page essay, or a line of exclamation marks, or three memes in a trenchcoat. i've gotten intelligent analyses and i've gotten reviews that were just quotes that the readers particularly enjoyed and i've gotten a simple "this was great". all of these are appreciated. all of these are craved.

we're already living in the worst timeline, let's not put unnecessary pressure on ourselves.

and if you want a practical solution for your commenting paralysis, i've found this post indispensable.

[marc-spectorr]

well, last time i wrote here i said i was going to catch up on all the suff i’ve missed and i am still doing that and you want to know why i’m taking so long? cause your girl caught fucking covid in the meantime😫😫😭😭

so yeah the past week or so has been hell for me, i had every possible symptom ever and i spent days just sleeping, nothing else. for real, everything i did hurt in some way, so yeah it was not fun. but i’m better now, thankfully. can’t wait to be fully okay and full of energy again ugh. now that i’m a bit better my catching up will continue and so be prepared to receive asks about stuff you most likely forgot happened lolol.

also in the meantime the exam results came in and it went well, so i'm super happy and extremely grateful to you and the book club for all the good luck wishes and all the love you guys showed me, that really helped me during the exam. i’m glad to hear that work is good (for the most part) and i hope your coworkers aren't driving you too crazy lately. remember, don’t stress or worry too much, don’t overthink stuff cause in the end it will all be alright. i promise you that. also take your time to recover, breathe, drink a lot of water and nurture your body. you deserve all the love in the world, for real💞💞

also aaaAAAAAAA i wish i could see your pets, i bet they are the most wonderful little creatures ever. just as adorable as their owner ;)🤍

i could never imagine my life without my pet either, it would be too empty, dull and sad🥺😭

i am still catching up but welcome to all the new nonnies out there (santi and vermillionsails and anyone else, i’m so so happy to see you joining our book club, loads of love to you guys!🧡)

also i can’t wait to see all the things you published in the meantime (like i see you posted a couple of the celebration drabbles and i am so so excited to read them and the future ones that'll come!!)🤎

ilysm callieee, i hope you are having a wonderful day and are feeling a bit better. i hope to catch up soon so that i can send in all my crazy thoughts and comments that no one asked for lmao🤭🥵.

it’s good to be back, this blog became my safe spot, my little comfort area so it’s always good to come back and talk a bit💓💓

okay last quick random thing, if you don't mind callie, what is a phobia of yours? and what are your biggest pet peeves?

i want to get to know you a little more and these are the first questions that came to mind lol

okay that's it for now, loads of love my sweet callie, remember i'm always here for you💕💕💕💕

-🧸

ahhjdjdj oh no,,, hope you get well and are fully back to your amazing self soon teddy!! covid is brutal ugh but i’m so glad to hear that you’re feeling better! sending you a ton of good vibes, love, and strength ✨

AYE YAAAYYY!!!! congratulations on acing your exams honey 🥳🎉💕 you worked incredibly hard for them and i’m super happy that everything went well! at least you can finally rest and relax, and not worry about school for now :) hehe yeah work has fortunately been alright,,, it’s just tiring, you know? sometimes i wish i can take off a whole week but im saving my vacation days for a trip im planning later this year 😭 but thank you for the lovely reminder, darling! the stress and overthinking is no good at all and im really working on focusing myself for the sake of my mental health ksksks.

weeeeeee take your time catching up! there’s zero rush at all! i’m still taking it slow with writing but i’m crossing my fingers that tonight i’ll be able to work on the next prompt and post tomorrow. i know these drabbles have been sooo delayed i’m pretty sure others forgot about them lolol but i’m excited to write nonetheless. but feel free to send in as many messages as your heart desires haha!! submit one ask or spam me with fifty, it’ll make me smile either way!

okay now for your questions. hMmm… i wouldn’t necessarily call it a phobia but i am scared of heights :((( there was one time i visited this park that had a bridge and i couldn’t even walk through it without my legs shaking and my hands gripping onto my friend for dear life haha. i’m fine on planes tho which is great bc i love traveling. i guess i just have to be in an enclosed space that makes it look like im really not that high up to be okay with it LOLOL.

for pet peeves, i HATE it when im in the middle of talking and someone cuts me off 😤 like pls let me get my thought out first ksdjsjks. i also don’t appreciate it when people borrow my stuff and not return it to the exact place they found it. i go crazy when im trying to look for something and it’s not there ;-; this one mostly applies at work but i don’t like it when my coworkers assume that i’m not busy with my own responsibilities and dump theirs on me thinking i’ll be able to work on them just like that. rude. 🙂

but how about you teddy? what are your phobias and pet peeves, if any? and if you have any more questions, send them :) im pretty much an open book and would also love to get to know you!

ilysm sweetheart and it’s good to have you back! i hope you’re having a wonderful day/night ❤️

[imatechbummerliketomholland]

You are my world. you three are my world now - h.h

hello there! I'm back ! Sorry if it tooks so long, i have a lot of work during these holiday. I hope you like this little request. I didn't have time to be proofread (but a big thank you to@petersasteria who is always there to support me!). Remember that my native language is French, so don't be so mean if i made mistakes!

Feel free to like, share, comment and tell me what you think. Send me a message if you want to be added to the taglist for my next work!

Word count: 2300 Warning: angst, mention of pregnancy, small mention of blood, mention of placental abruption Pairing : harry holland Request: yes!

ღღღ

You didn't expect to be pregnant with twins at your age. The announcement of your pregnancy had also surprised more than one. Despite her support, Nikki Holland had still given the discourse on the importance of safe sex to her son. But Harry had given a more than mature speech in defense of both of you. He was able to prove to his family and to yours that you were ready and that the decision to continue the pregnancy was not rash.

You were now at the half of your eighth month and nothing could stand in the way of your happiness.

Nothing except maybe this.

Nikki had offered to have lunch with her this afternoon. Despite his work as a photographer, no longer having the company of his four children - since three of them left the family cocoon to live their own life as grown-up adults- weighed heavily on her. You accepted with pleasure. Harry, who was editing his third short film, had left you this morning to go to the edit suite, not without checking that you were okay. So, you joined Nikki at the restaurant. You shine in your long floral maternity dress. In the middle of the meal, you felt a violent contraction.

At almost eight months pregnant, it was no surprise that you could feel twins’ movements. You winced a little at the pain and your mother-in-law put a reassuring hand on your arm.

"Are you alright, darling?" she asking, a little bit worried.

"Yeah, yeah. They've just been in great shape for a few days now."

You apologized and went to the bathroom, struggling to cope with the pain of your contractions. When you noticed that your underwear was soaked with blood, your heart rate increased. You suddenly realized that a series of symptoms corresponded to what you had dreaded early in your pregnancy: the nausea that had occurred last night, the violent contractions since this morning and now the blood. Rather alerting signals that suggested a placental abruption. The obstetrician told you that this was a possible risk since you were having a twin pregnancy. You started to cry and panic for several minutes that Nikki ended up knocking on the bathroom door.

"Darling, is everything good in there?" she asked you with her sweet and worried voice.

"Could you come in please" you sobbed.

"Sure, darling. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

She stepped carefully into the disabled cabin that you had used for space reasons. Nikki immediately noticed your state of stress. And you just told her everything in strangled sobs. She put a hand behind your back and gave you a very serious look.

"We have to go to the ER. We're going right away."

"I want Harry"

"Don't worry, I'll call him on the way"

And you haven't wasted a minute. Nikki simply left her phone number and table number at the counter before you got into your car. Dom will retrieve Nikki one's later. Holland family been known from the restaurant, the staff were comprehensive about your leaving without paid the bill. When you arrived at the hospital, the nurses greeted you directly and wasted no time either. You were taken to the operating room without being able to get your boyfriend's support.

☙♥❧

Harry arrived within fifteen minutes of receiving the call from his mother. No doubt he would receive a speeding penalty ticket later. He looked like a madman, mortified by worry. He was a bundle of nerves and sarcasm. Her mother was standing by the reception desk, waiting for her. She looked anxious. Tom was there too, trying to contact their father on his phone. When Dom finally picked up, the oldest Holland brother announced the urgency. Harry was shaking with worry.

"What happened mom?"

"I don't really know, baby. We were at the restaurant and the babies kicked. She went to the bathroom and when she didn't come back, I went after her. That's where she asked me to come into the bathroom and you know the rest. I called you straight after that. " Nikki explained, trying to get the stress out of her.

"Oh my god… where is she now?"

"The medical staff took her for surgery. I had to wait here. I couldn't go with her, baby. I’m so sorry."

"Ok ... Ok, I guess I have to wait here. Hope she's okay. God, please make her be alright."

They all made their way to the operating theater hallway for the public to wait for more information. Tom was still on the phone with his father, explaining that it would be better if he stayed at home with Paddy so as not to overcrowd the waiting room. He promised his father that they would all give news as soon as possible. A nurse in a surgical gown entered ten minutes later.

“Who's the father of miss y/l/n's babies?”

“I am. Harry Holland, I’m the father!” he almost screamed and cried at the same time.

“Come with me”

Nikki stood up cautiously and walked over to the nurse. Harry was ready to follow the nurse without giving any further information to his family.

"Excuse me. Can you give us more information on her condition?" Nikki asked

"Sure. We had an emergency caesarean. The babies are fine but there seem to be some complications with the mother. The surgeon is taking care of her."

"Is she going to be okay?" Harry asked hastily.

"She's losing a lot of blood but we're doing our best. Now please follow me." She said to curly one.

☙♥❧

Harry followed her to the nursery. His heart was pounding in mixed emotions. He was so impatient to meet his babies but at the same time he was worried about you. What if you don't survive from the complications? What was to become of him? Would he be able to live without you? Would he be a good father?

His last question vanished when he saw his two little babies in the incubator. Your twins had arrived about fifteen, almost a month earlier than expected, it was normal that they were in an incubator. Harry was going to have to make sure they put on weight. After filling out a few papers, one of the nurses offered to do some skin-to-skin contact with the twins so that they could get to know the three of them. Harry could not but be impatient with this and once prepared he settled into a seat. He was overcome with emotion, understanding how his parents had felt when Sam and him were born. He completely forgets the time, spending several minutes with his sons, one after the other. Harry knew he would place all his love in the two little beings he had taken turns holding in his arms. He was ready to lift mountains, cross the tides. Part of his mind was on you and he truly hoped he could go through life's trials with you. May your family experience all the times they deserve.

The nurse who had brought him to the nursery go up to him with a half-smile. She was sorry to disturb him during this privileged father-son moment.

"Your ... hm ... miss (y/l/n) is in the recovery room. You can go see her now"

Harry's heart burst with relief. He let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding back. The very new father nodded before placing his son in the nurse's arms so that she could put him back in the incubator. He decided to go find his family who had been waiting too long now. When he entered the waiting room, his mother and brother were still seated. Tom had his elbows on his knees, the phone in his hand. He seemed to be talking to someone. When the actor noticed his brother's presence, he spoke to him.

"Hey mate, Sam's here. Wanna talk to him? What's up? Does y/n's alright? And the twins?"

"Too much question. Give me Sam first!"

But the result was exactly the same. Sam asked the same questions as Tom and Harry winced as he tried to answer consensually.

"Hello to you too, brother. The twins are fine. I swear to God Sam, they look like a mini version of us. Two sons by the way ... y/n is fine, she's in the recovery room, I'm going see her right after that. I wanted to talk to mom and Tom first. "

"Glad to know I'm the last to know." Sam informed sarcastically.

"Hey, I was going to call you but I had to, you know ... go meet my sons. Father's job, it seems."

Sam chuckled behind his phone screen as Harry smirked in a mischievous and petty manner. He ended the call with his twin and turned to his mother and Tom. Nikki made her understand that she had heard, she seemed relieved that you were okay.

"Hey, before I go see y/n ... you want to see your grandsons ... and you, your nephew and godson, asshole."

"Harry, language" said Nikki.

"Of course I want to see my godson, stupid"

"Tom!"

The two brothers smile at each other. Just because one became a father and the other was a movie star, didn't mean they were going to change their ways. It was also their way, both of them, to decompress events. Nikki sighed in annoyance but kept quiet, too happy to meet, even only through a window, her first grandchildren. After a brief walk in front of the nursery, Harry announced that he was going to find you, leaving his family to admire your twins. They seemed so impatient to meet them in person but knew they were going to have to wait while you woke up.

☙♥❧

Harry entered the recovery room and walked over to your bed. You seemed to have already woken up from your artificial sleep. He grabbed your hand to give you the support you needed. A feeling of emptiness was felt in you, your gaze landed on your stomach, flatter than you had seen in recent months. Your eyes widened in panic but the reassuring pressure of Harry's hand drew your attention to him.

"They are fine, my love. They are fine. They are in an incubator in the nursery."

You burst into tears. The emotions being so strong.

"I'm so sorry Harry. I'm sorry ..."

“Hey… hey… you don't have to. You're okay… the twins are okay. And I still love you, I love you more than ever."

"Have you seen them?"

"Yes ... ugly like their father" he joked

You chuckled with a few more tears in your voice. You knew he didn't mean it, but humor was Harry's best way to decompress, and it worked on you too.

"My family is here. You scared the hell out of them. I think Sam was about to order a flight to kick your ass."

You chuckled again. It was so impressive to see the love that reigned in this family. You could never have asked for a better way to build your own family. Harry leaned over to kiss you.

"I love you, y/n. You are my world. you three are my world now"

"I love you more, Harry."

You stayed a few more days before you could get out of the hospital. You had decided to introduce the twins after their own discharge from the hospital. That's why, after almost a month of going back and forth to the nursery, you could finally bring your twins home. So you organized a little visit to Harry's parents.

☙♥❧

The sun was shining on London and you squeezed the doorknob of one of the maxi-cozy, Harry carrying your second son as you opened the door to the Holland family home. You were amazed at the ease with which Harry assumed his role as father. He was doing so well that you fell in love with him again.

"Is there anyone here?" He asked

"We're all in the garden, buddy!" Tom said

"You are obviously in the kitchen, dummy"

"For god's sake, Harry. Come into this fucking garden and let us see the twins!"

You let out a frank laugh as you mentally noted that you were going to have to have a conversation with Harry and his brothers about the vocabulary they were using.

You are therefore entering the garden. You noticed right away that Sam had come all the way from Scotland. Harry must have organized this with him too. You smiled, Nikki rushed over to help you with the change bags and you thanked him.

"So where is my godson?" Tom asked in the same way he did at the FFH premiere when he was looking for Jake Gyllenhal.

"Where's mine?" Sam asked too.

You approached Sam, putting the maxycosy on the table to unbuckle the seat belt and take your son in your arms. Harry was doing the same with your second baby.

"I'm happy to introduce you y/s/n"

"And there's y/s/n(2)." Harry added, so proud.

Everyone raved about the twins as you wipe away a tear, happy and proud. You were so moved by the love that reigned. Harry came to kiss you on the forehead, you closed your eyes, appeased by his gesture. The world could only turn better in his company.

"It's family portrait time!" Nikki said, her camera in her hands. "Tom, please get closer to your brother. Sam, stand next to y / n"

You all followed Nikki's instructions, who couldn't be more than happy to capture this important moment, bringing her work and family life together. You all smiled as you and Harry were in the center of the photo, carrying your twins in your arms. And at that moment, you were sure that your life could not be more beautiful than at this moment.

[jediken0bi]

Boundaries

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:

When JJ makes an offhand comment about Spencer not being particularly fond of physical touch to his girlfriend it causes a bit of a misunderstanding.

word count: 3180

-

Ever since you and Spencer decided to ditch your colleagues for the third time in a row to watch Doctor Who at his place instead, which resulted in him awkwardly admitted to liking you at the end of the night, you two have been practically inseparable. You knew that Spencer was shy when it comes to physical affection from the start but you also knew that a huge part of it was the lack of said affection throughout his life.

Often times he looks surprised when you hug him or kiss him with no particular reason in mind other than that you wanted to.

It's like he's used to only experiencing soft touches in the context of challenging and heartbreaking events happening to him.

You were set on changing that. You're going to make up for all the people who have failed to treat him with the love he deserves.

So far he hasn't stopped you from trying either. You cuddle him every chance you get, you kiss him whenever the opportunity presents itself and the environment allows it, you hold his hand while you're on the jet. You make sure Spencer is on board for all of this though.

You always ask him if he's okay with it before. The last thing you want is for Spencer to feel uncomfortable with you.

He's never denied you though and your question is always received with a big smile on his face.

Despite being very responsive to your touches Spencer doesn't allow himself to outright ask for them. Your best guess is that it comes from a long line of people denying him these simple pleasures. The thought breaks your heart.

You two were in the elevator on your way to meet the rest of the team in the bullpen when it all sort of went south.

You were holding hands with Spencer and he subconsciously squeezes your hand a little once the doors open. You give him a smile and lean up to press a small kiss to his cheek.

He immediately turns bright red and you giggle. He's given up on asking you for their reasons. He's starting to accept that you like kissing him and that's reason enough.

He grins at you and you let go of your grip on his hand. You both walk to your respective desks and stuff your go bags under them.

Before you can make your way back to Spencer you spot JJ across the room seemingly headed straight to your desk.

You know JJ is Spencers best friend and while you admittedly had a hard time accepting that your boyfriends best friend was a woman he used to have a crush on, you decided that you had absolutely no reason not to trust Spencer. He was happy with you and JJ was married with kids after all. Hell, Spence is their godfather. There's no need to worry about either of them having feelings for the other. You're sure of it"

Plus, you really like JJ. She was the hardest to win over simply because she and Spencer were so close but she never treated you with hostility. She was kind and respectful but kept you at distance until she was sure you were right for Spencer. You would've been upset if you weren't so happy someone was looking out for him after all.

"Good morning JJ" you greet her happily.

It really had been a good morning.

You and Spencer woke up earlier than usual to eat breakfast together. He made you pancakes!

Or, at least he tried. They were a bit burned but you told him that they were the best pancakes you have ever had. And you meant it.

He, of course, turned bright red and refused to take the compliment so you shut him up with a kiss.

A kiss that said 'Thank you for making me breakfast. I love you and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life eating burned pancakes with you'.

"Hey Y/N i was wondering if you had a minute to talk. About Spence." JJ approached you with a certain worry in her eyes that immediately unsettled you.

"What do you mean? Did something happen? I just saw him a minute ago and he seemed fine" You say nervously. Was there something you overlooked?

You make a mental note to go through the events of this morning again.

"No, he's fine! It's not that. I just wanted to talk to you about how it's going with Spencer. You know, being a couple and all"

JJ seemed almost nervous.

You weren't sure what to think about that.

She never dug around in your business before and you don't think she's got any malicious intentions but it does throw you off a little bit.

"Did you have something specific in mind? We're doing great, JJ. I know you worry about him but i think he's happy with me"

You say proudly because you know he is.

He tells you every night when you two settle down to lie in each others arms to read for a bit.

That's code for Spencer reading to you while laying his head on your stomach and you playing with his hair.

You smile at the memory.

"Uh yeah i guess i do. I just don't want you to think of this as something personal but i think as his best friend i owe it to Spencer to talk to you about it"

She looks down at her feet seemingly uncomfortable but willing to go through with this.

You were shocked to say the least. What could she possibly have in mind that would potentially hurt your feelings? Your mind goes to the worst possible scenarios and it's giving you a good bit of anxiety.

JJ seems to spot the look on your face and grabs your hands.

"No, no, no it's nothing bad per se! Just something you should be aware of to avoid misunderstandings"

You let out a small breath and calm down a bit. You're still confused though. If it's so urgent, why wouldn't Spencer tell you himself?

You were curious though.

"Okay so what is this about then?"

JJ looks at you with a bit of pity in her eyes and you immediately decide you hate that look.

"It's just that, you know, Spence is a bit of a germaphobe and he just doesn't do very well with people invading his personal space. Not that you're invading his space! Gosh no, you're his girlfriend after all. It's just that it seems like he might be a bit overwhelmed. I know it's non of my business, but i think he's trying to be okay with the PDA because it's something you want. I'm all for expanding your comfort zones but i'm afraid Spence is not going to tell you himself"

She finishes her nervous rant and you felt your heart sinking.

Is that why he never asks for your touch? You thought it was because he was shy but maybe it's because it makes him uncomfortable.

Was he trying to protect your feelings by not denying you touch whenever you asked?

Or worse, did he think you would leave him if he put up some boundaries?

Your eyes are filled with unshed tears and you look down at your feet out of embarrassment. You don't want to see the look on JJ's face right now. You're humiliated and honestly just upset Spencer wasn't telling you all this himself.

"Oh. Well, i'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought we were okay but i'll make an effort to turn it down. Thanks JJ"

It's clear she wanted to say something in return but you already turned away from her to flee the scene. It was overwhelming and you didn't want her to see you cry over this.

You went to the only place you knew you could feel freely without having to downplay the whole thing.

Penelopes Office.

You knock twice at her door.

"Hey Pen, can i come in? Are you busy?"

She immediately opens the door and with it, her arms.

"Never too busy for you honey bun!"

You give her a sad smile and hug her tightly.

You sniffle a little and she closes the door behind you two.

"What's wrong Y/N? Did Spencer do anything? I'll kill him for you. I have about twenty seven different ways that would make it look like an accident! Perks of working for the FBI"

This actually makes you laugh and you immediately know you've made the right call coming to Garcia.

"It's more about what he didn't do. Pen, am i a bad girlfriend?"

She grabs your shoulders and pushes you out of her embrace to look at you.

"What? How could you possibly think that? Boy Wonder has never been happier and i've known the kid for a solid couple of years!"

You look down again with an empty smile

"Then why would he send JJ to tell me all about how uncomfortable i make him?"

Okay so maybe you were being a bit dramatic but it feels like he broke your trust by talking to JJ about it before talking to you. At least, you assume he did. Why else would she bring this up?

"He did what? Are you sure?"

You raise your arms in a frustrated manner.

"I don't know Penny all i know is that JJ had some thoughts on how to be in a relationship with Spence!"

Garcia looked shocked and it makes you laugh.

"Yeah, that was my initial reaction too"

She shakes herself out of it.

"Did you talk to Spencer about what he thinks?"

You look at her with sheepish eyes.

"I don't want to yet. I'm upset with him and honestly a little embarrassed. I just wish he would've told me certain things himself. I think i'm going to take a sick day, okay? Can you let Hotch know i'm out for today?"

She looks at you with understanding eyes and gives you a nod.

"Of course, Bunny. Take care. And don't forget that Spencer loves you!"

You smile and give her a nod in return.

"Yeah, i know"

And with that you're out the door and on your way to grab your bag from your desk.

Of course you end up running into the one person you don't want to talk to right now.

Spencer looks at you with a small smile and you give him one back. Admittedly, yours looks a bit forced but you don't have the energy to pretend right now.

"What are you doing?" He asks innocently. He must be unaware of your conversation with JJ.

"I- Uh i'm taking a sick day. I'm not feeling so well"

You try to avoid eye contact but you fail to ignore Spencers worried expression in your peripheral vision.

"Are you okay? Was it the breakfast? I told you you shouldn't have eaten the pancakes!"

He sounds so distressed you can't help but laugh.

You were still mad at him but he was just too cute for his own good.

Out of habit you raise your hand to plant it on the nape of his neck where you usually toy with his hair before kissing him.

Just as you were about to put your hand on him you shake yourself out of it and retreat it.

He looks at you with confused eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He asks you with sad eyes. He's giving you completely mixed signals and it's driving you insane. Did he suddenly want you to touch him?

"Nothing. I just- I'm really tired"

You look down at your bag and pick it up to make your way out of there.

Spencer grabs your hand and it causes you to stop in your tracks. You breath in and out and turn around to look at him once again.

"Are- I mean are you leaving now?"

He looks at you with an embarrassed glint in his eyes. But there's something more to it. He looks hopeful. Like he's expecting something.

Maybe he's waiting for you to kiss him goodbye like you always do says a small voice on the back of your head.

No, you shake your head, JJ was perfectly clear about these things.

"Yeah, i am. See you later okay?"

You say with a small smile. You weren't mad at him for not being comfortable with PDA. That's not it at all. You just wanted him to be the one telling you.

You squeeze his hand and he exhales a little.

"Yes! Yeah, um, we're still on for tonight right? Your place?"

He seems so nervous and it reminds you a lot of the first few dates you two had. He was so afraid of messing up, of being laughed at or rejected.

"Of course we are. I'll order us some Chinese"

You give him a real smile and he starts lighting up as well.

"Yeah i'd like that. See you, uh, tonight then"

He's still holding your hand and you squeeze it one more time before letting go.

As you step into the elevator you know that you two have a lot to talk about.

--timeskip approx. 8h--

You've spend all day trying to figure out how to talk to Spencer about what happened at work today. You didn't want to fight with him and you hope he's not going to try and shut you out.

All your worries pretty much wash away when you find Spencer at your door holding a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

When he finally reveals himself behind them you can't help but drag him inside and press a kiss to his lips. You smile into the kiss and it's not long before Spencer does the same. It's harder than it sounds like but you two aren't willing to separate yet so you keep kissing for a little longer before leaning back to accept the arrangement.

"Thank you, Spence. They're beautiful"

You push the curls out of his face and cup his cheek in your hand.

He leans into it and closes his eyes for a second

"Almost as beautiful as you"

It's barely a whisper but you heard him.

Putting the flowers down on the counter you don't waste a single second hugging him tight to your chest.

He hums in contentment and you melt into him.

You've missed him so much today. You weren't used to being at distance with him. Emotionally or physically.

Speaking of.

"Does that mean we're okay again?"

Spencer asks pressing small kisses to your neck.

You shutter slightly before leaning back to look at him.

"What do you mean? Were we not okay before?"

You brush the curls that have fallen back into his eyes away again and he looks at you with wide loving eyes.

"I don't know i thought we were but then you didn't- um i don't know you just left and i thought maybe i had done something to upset you?"

He looks nervous. Almost like he's afraid he's going to say something wrong. You give him a small sad smile and decide that now is as good of a time as ever.

"I didn't kiss you because i know you're not comfortable with that"

You weren't mad anymore. You had enough time to process what happened and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer must've had his reasons. You're willing to let him explain.

He on the other hand looks at you like you've grown a second head.

"What? No i- why would you think that?"

You huff out a breath and look at him for a moment with raised eyebrows. You really thought he was going to tell you now. Is he waiting for you to say it?

Spencer looked genuinely confused and upset you would even suggest such a thing. It makes you wonder if he talked to JJ at all.

"Look, JJ came to talk to me today and cleared some things up and honestly i'm not upset about what she said. Not really. I'm upset i had to find out from someone who wasn't you. You could've told me. You should have told me actually"

This didn't do anything to wipe off Spencers confused expression. If anything, his frown just got deeper.

"Y/N i seriously don't know what you're talking about. I haven't talked to JJ this week"

Now it's your turn to frown. Did he not know? Was it really just JJ making assumptions that weren't true?

"But she said- No it doesn't matter what she said. What matters is that i want you to tell me, right now, if my affections make you uncomfortable in any shape of form. It's okay if they do Spence! I know i'm a lot but it's important we're both okay with what's happening between us"

He stares at you with a mix of adoration and confusion.

"Of course i'm not uncomfortable with you! I would tell you if i was. It's not even like you're doing any of it without checking with me first! Why would i lie to you?"

You let out a frustrated huff.

"Because you don't wanna hurt my feelings! But it's okay. We're equals and we can set up boundaries if you want. All that matters to me is that you won't shut me out"

Spencer smiles at you and it confuses you. Why the sudden mood change? Not that you're complaining. His smile always did manage to make you feel better. This time is no exception.

He grabs your hands and pulls you closer again.

This is new. Not the hand holding, but the fact that Spencer is the one initiating it.

"I promise you i have never been more comfortable with a person. I don't know what JJ told you and i'm definitely going to have a talk with her about boundaries but as far as we go, i'm more than happy with where and what we are"

You give him a small laugh and he joins in.

You wrap your arms around his middle and bury your head in his chest.

"So you're okay with me kissing you or touching you in general? In front of the team"

He presses a small kiss to the top of your head.

"More than okay" He whispers

You smile and lift your head to give him a proper kiss. He grabs the side of your head and pulls you even closer.

Lips just millimeters apart you look him in the eyes and find nothing but love in them.

"Also, next time you leave work without kissing me goodbye i'll make a scene. No hesitation"

You laugh loudly and push him away. He playfully stumbles back a couple of steps and laughs with you. He shrugs his shoulders

"Try me"

You lean your head on his shoulder.

You don't even know what you were worried about anymore. Spencer has a way to make all the problems seem to minuscule. You can confidently say you've never been happier.

[smolcobie]

Hyunjae | Butterfly Effect

↪ Summary: After a dangerous fire, Hyunjae is unable to hide his feelings for you.

Word Count: 3,5k

Warnings: Suggestive | Fire | Friends To Lovers | Heavy Making Out

Genre: Hyunjae x Reader | HYUNJAE FIREFIGHTER AU | Female Reader

Dedicated to my fav deobi friend @santacruz-sand​ <3

Human beings are known for their daily mistakes. We used to say that every day we make a mistake, some don't make that much difference, others can change the course of your life, better known as the butterfly effect. Each action has its reaction, gradually shaping the path you will take in life.

Some say that this is fate, that no matter how much you try to escape, it will happen. Others prefer to believe that you create your own destiny. I didn't believe in any of these theories, in fact, I always preferred to think that it is easier to do your best every day than to be disappointed by the path you took because you thought that this was your destiny after all.

The greatest example that my theory was real, was seeing how my best friend lived. Every single day he left early, before the sun came up, and came back when it was night. Being a firefighter required perfection in his form, discipline, punctuality, courage to face his fears, and a lot of willingness to risk his own life for the benefit of society.

I watched him cautiously, analyzing his ways and manners. The way he slammed the gate hard to make sure it was locked, or how he sighed and gave a silly smile when he managed to do something he liked, but what I liked most was the way he struggled every day to cheer people's lives.

- ▪︎ -

"[NAME], do your best every day and no one will have the courage to speak ill of the way you live." He said with his red cheeks and heavy eyes from the soju he drank.

"What are you talking about? I live very well, you're the one who lives next to my house and keeps risking your life." I laughed, fixing up his fringe that was messy "You're already starting to get drunk, let's go home." I got up pulling on his shirt and he made a weeping face.

"[NAME], why are you so mean to me?" He said slyly and I lifted him up with all my strength hugging him around the waist "Hyunjae, come on, you need to rest." He sighed and started walking making a pout on his lips.

"Stop pouting, you know you need to rest. You work a lot and when you take a break you want to drink soju and philosophize about life with me." I commented while walking down the dark street.

"But you are my best friend, you have to listen to me." I laughed at his comment "If you paid me I could even quit my job, after all, listening to you is all I do." "That's why I love you." He chuckled and put his head on my shoulder as I opened the door to his house, after entering the password.

"I love you too, so go to sleep." I tossed him on the bed and he smiled happily hugging his soft pillow.

- ▪︎ -

It was almost always like this. Hyunjae coming to my house to vent about life, I laugh while making some cards to post on my Instagram and the company. Being a calligraphy artist was a happy part of my life, being able to decorate bookstores, houses, gifts was something that gave me the strength to live.

Hyunjae was such an essential part of my life, that I only realized when our mutual friend asked why we lived so close to each other. My first thought was to think that it would be easier to go out, have fun and talk. My second thought was that I was completely in love with him, and I didn't want to admit it.

It was complicated, an old love that I knew had no way out, but nothing was going to change because I couldn't find any nice guys. I lived with Hyunjae and I had already accepted my condition. Romance went from something I dreamed of as a teenager, to something I value as an adult, but not as much as my sanity.

It was easier to live with Hyunjae than having to go on blind dates with bizarre guys that our friend Sunwoo arranged (probably from the deep web). And I keep ignoring my feelings, being inspired by its way of life.

That day was more beautiful than usual. The sun was shining brightly, the sky was clear and blue, the traffic seemed calm and the weather was perfect for an outdoor meeting, perhaps a date in the park. The subway was surprisingly empty, although it was very early, and I was completely rested.

It seemed like the perfect working day. I had made many cards at the company, sent some orders by mail, and placed new orders for a major literature event that would take place at the company. Lunch was great and our boss was in a good mood telling stories from when she was in college.

The day had gone well, my colleagues finished their jobs earlier than expected so we were able to go out early and eat fried chicken in a new restaurant near the company. I returned home happy and completely shocked at how perfect my day had been.

I got home and changed my shoes. I took a relaxing bath while listening to the news of the day through my radio hanging from the bathroom sink.

"URGENT NEWS! THERE IS A FIRE IN A BUSINESS BUILDING LOCATED IN THE GANGNAM REGION, MANY ARE THREATENING TO JUMP THROUGH THE WINDOWS. SOURCES CONFIRM THAT THE FIRE STARTED BY THE BAD WIRING THAT HAS NOT BEEN CORRECTLY REPLACED. THE FIREFIGHTERS HAVE JUST ARRIVED AND ARE PREPARING TO RELEASE THE PLACE AND REMOVE SURVIVORS. ”

I immediately turned off the shower, drying myself quickly, putting on any clothes, and going to the living room to turn on the TV and see the news.

All the channels were talking about the fire. It even seemed ironic, as I had a great day, and now a building near my company was on fire, and I had to see desperate people on the TV screen.

My heart stopped and my eyes lit up when I recognized Hyunjae running away with a long sheet and other men helping him from afar. This was apparently what he was supposed to do, try to stay calm and help people in a tragedy that could cost their lives.

“FIREFIGHTERS MOBILIZED QUICKLY AND SURVIVORS ARE GETTING TO THE GROUND SAFELY. THE FIRE HAS BEEN CONTROLLED AND WE HAVE NO NEWS FROM ANY VICTIMS IN SERIOUS STATE UNTIL THE MOMENT-” The woman turned and the cameraman filmed Hyunjae leaving the scene with a woman unconscious in his arms “THIS YOUNG BRAVE MAN REMOVED THE LAST VICTIM FROM THE LOCATION. AMBULANCE HAS ARRIVED AND WILL TREAT EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY. ”

I closed my fists tightly, my mouth dried and my heart sped up. Hyunjae had entered that burning building, risking his life, to save another one.

The fire subsided until it was extinguished. Reporters were still talking about how the police were already investigating everything and how fortunately no lives were lost and the victims had only minor injuries. I sighed with relief and sent a message to Hyunjae, congratulating him, but mostly asking how he was doing.

Me:

[Are you okay? I just saw it all on TV, I'm so worried!]

[I am proud of you, you were amazing.]

[I hope you're all right, send a message when you see this.]

Received.

I sighed and laid down on my bed covering my eyes trying to remember that he was fine.

"Nothing happened."

"Hyunjae is fine. No need to worry."

I was trying to convince myself that he was fine, alive, and doing his job, but my heart couldn't calm down. I decided to take a light tranquilizer and lie down again.

Maybe he would answer me in the morning, I would wait patiently and everything would be fine.

I turned on some drama on TV while I was busy watching cute animals on Youtube to pass the time. After a few hours and having a quick nap, I was surprised by the ringing of my cell phone and saw that it was Hyunjae.

I got up and answered quickly.

“Hyunjae ?! Are you okay? Where are you?" I hurried over and felt him give a tired laugh on the other end of the phone.

“I'm outside your house, please open it for me. It's a little cold here. ” He made a little joke like he always does, maybe, trying to calm my worried mood.

"Okay, I'll be right back." I hung up the phone and ran out to the door.

I opened the door feeling my heart racing, my joints tingling from suddenly getting up and automatically everything calmed down when I saw his face.

He had his bangs glued to his forehead, his face was dirty with some ash. He still had his work uniform on and was holding some bandages probably bought from the pharmacy near our homes.

"I came for you to heal me." He gave a sarcastic smile as I felt relief wash over my entire body.

"Come on, staying in this serene is bad." I pulled him inside, locking the door and putting his usual shoe in the doorway.

"Unfortunately I bought anything I saw at the pharmacy, so I hope you help me, I'm deadly tired." He started talking quietly trying to hide how he was shaken by that night.

"Hyunjae... are you okay?" I asked seeing him sitting on a chair in the kitchen taking off his uniform, leaving only the standard white blouse and pants.

"Yeah." He said dryly biting his lip and looking away. The habit he made when he lied.

"Stop lying to me." I walked towards him crossing my arms “If you were really well, you would have gone home, answered on your cell phone, and slept in peace."

He sighed and looked at me with a look that made my whole body tremble. He looked scared, anxious, but mostly nervous about something.

"What is it?" I touched his cheek and he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning into my hand.

"I almost lost my mind today." He stood up scratching the back of his neck with a choked voice as if he were about to cry.

"What do you mean?" He looked at me so sincerely that I felt my heart soften.

"We were on the traffic patrol when we heard the call." He laughed, but it was sad. "When they said the address, and I realized it was on the same street as your job, I despaired."

My eyes flew open and he sat on the edge of the couch burying his fingers in his dirty, messy hair.

“I thought you could be there and I lost it. When I got there, all I could think about was you.” I approached and realized that in fact, his eyes were watery "I know I should be concerned with other people, but I could only think ‘What if it is her building? What if she is there? What if she is in danger? What if I can't save her?’ And I went into eternal despair.”

I felt my heart racing so fast it could come out of my mouth.

"I-I didn't care if other people were hurt, as long as you were fine..." He looked at me and I felt a huge urge to hold his face "And it scares me. The way I was afraid of losing you and I couldn't think rationally, on the professional side.”

I sat next to him listening to everything he had to say.

"Hyunjae, anyone would feel the same way, you don't have to feel guilty about it." I wiped away his tears and held his cheeks in the palm of my hands "I would have done the same, thinking about you all the time."

He gave a smile sniffing before holding my hands.

"But it's different this time." He said before looking into my eyes with an invisible force that made me nervous "I thought nothing would make sense if I didn't have you by my side."

I took a deep breath trying to follow his argument.

"I don't want to lose you." He whispered as if it were a forbidden confession "You are the most important person in the whole world to me." He touched my cheek with the palm of his hand "You know that, don't you?" He swallowed hard, leaning his forehead against mine.

I took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know Hyunjae, you are also the most special person for me." I said seeing how he had relaxed a little more "Now get up, you need to take a shower and put bandages on these cuts."

I stood up first, but I felt his hand close to my fist. He was taller than me, not so much, but his body was so strong that it made me feel small around him.

"What? Come on, you're very tired. ” I took the lead before I felt him pulling me again.

"[NAME]." He said hoarsely as I studied his face curiously.

Hyunjae was too different that night.

“What is it Hyunjae? Your face is dirty, you need to take a shower. ” I touched my hips trying to understand what he wanted.

Hyunjae approached pulling my wrist towards him before giving a kiss there.

"Come with me." He said making me petrified on the spot.

"W-WHAT?!" I asked nervously as I felt my heart pound so loudly that I was afraid he might hear "I-That's not funny, Hyunjae."

He released my fist and pulled me by the hip, staring deep into my eyes.

"I'm not kidding." I felt a shiver down my back when he admitted it wasn't a joke or a friend flirt "I got tired of pretending I don't feel anything for you."

I couldn't say anything, I was too shocked to reply.

“[NAME], you are the most important person to me and I don't want to live any longer having to treat you just like a best friend.” He touched my chin and raised my gaze to his “Please, be honest with me. Am I just a best friend to you? ”

I felt his gaze enter my soul and I knew I had no way to lie anymore, this was the only chance I would have to admit what I feel.

"No." I swallowed and stared at his mouth, which formed a small smile of satisfaction.

It was amazing the effect that Hyunjae had on me. Even if I wanted to run away, I wouldn't be able to lie because it was already obvious from the way I act.

"Great." I felt my stomach churn when I felt his left hand hold me tighter as his right landed on my cheek, making his thumb touch my chin, caressing it. "I hope you don't mind this."

"Mind wha—" I could barely finish the question and I felt his lips on mine.

I pulled away unintentionally from the shock and looked into his eyes that seemed to be staring at me with an indescribable fire. I swallowed and felt my heart racing as he just smirked sideways, as if he knew what I was thinking.

He approached me slowly, touching our noses and I closed my eyes feeling his breath warm my face. I felt my face heat up and my palms sweat when his lips brushed against mine again. I held on to his white blouse with the rest of my strength and waited for Hyunjae to close the distance that bothered me so much.

I felt his hand move and his fingers pulled my chin down, opening my mouth that was closed by shock. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and felt him laugh through his nose before wetting my bottom lip with his tongue lightly, kissing me gently.

I lifted my hands to his hair where I pulled slightly, feeling my back against the bathroom door. Hyunjae took a quick breath, trying desperately to open the bathroom door, trying not to break the kiss.

I opened my eyes after Hyunjae got rid of me, feeling my heart stop at the sight of him focused on trying to open the bathroom door. His face was flushed, but his ears seemed to burn at how red they were. His dark eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was pink and inviting.

"Aish." Hyunjae said finally opening the bathroom making me smile slightly.

I held on to his blouse when I almost tripped over my own rug and Hyunjae grabbed my waist with his arm. He gave me a shy smile before leaning his body against mine, making me even more nervous.

His fingers played with the old buttons on my wool blouse. I held his neck intoxicating myself by his smell invading my senses. I felt a shiver down my spine when his fingers touched my skin gently, as if it were the most expensive porcelain that should be handled with care.

Hyunjae started the shower making me more and more nervous. He pushed me with some force making my back touch the tile on the cold wall of the bathroom. I felt his wet abdomen touching mine and tried to take his shirt off awkwardly making him laugh with amusement.

I looked into his eyes feeling my cheeks flush hard as I held his necklace in my hand. I smirked when I realized it was the gift I had given them for his last birthday. It was a sun necklace that was completed with another necklace, which was mine and was shaped like a moon.

I used to say that he was the sun that lit up my life and that reflected in me. I didn't expect him to wear it every day, because he is so critical of his clothes and his style, so I was surprised when I saw the jewel on his soft, wide collarbone.

"I-I like that necklace." He justified himself by making me smile as I felt my hair gradually get wet from the shower water.

I caressed his cheeks, removing all the dust and ashes from his face. He closed his eyes as I carefully wiped his face by raising my hands to his hair. My stomach churned when I kissed the corner of his jaw and he let out a long breath squeezing my waist.

"I like you." I confessed by kissing his neck, stroking his hair "Really."

"N-Noona." He said slyly in my ear making me smile. He only called me Noona when he was embarrassed "Don't do this to me."

"What?" I asked, acting like I didn't get his thoughts while looking at his beautiful body in front of me. I moved my hands down his chest feeling my whole body softening and looked him in the eyes hoping he understood the message I wanted to convey.

"You know." He responded by pinning me to the wall as he fiddled with the buttons on his pants, leaning his forehead against mine, chuckling through his nose.

I hugged him feeling slightly embarrassed when I felt him take off my bra and toss it on any floor in the bathroom. I closed my eyes tightly as I felt his lips kiss my neck slowly and lovingly.

"[NAME] ..." He sighed and kissed my collarbone "I-I know you like romantic guys, but the last thing I want to do now is to be patient and romantic with you."

I felt my whole body tremble and my thoughts were confused.

"I-Is this okay with you?" He asked suspiciously and I nodded, unable to speak, "Are you sure?"

I just answered him by kissing him again. He returned it immediately, deepening the kiss, holding me in his strong arms.

So, I closed my eyes and just let all those feelings accumulated from so long being satisfied without thinking about anything else.

- ▪︎ -

The truth was that love could come from anywhere, from a friendship for years, from a complete stranger, from a colleague at work or college. There are no limits to define where love should be born.

For Hyunjae and you, it was born out of years of extreme care. An affection that could not be limited by friendship, and by the undeniable attraction you felt for each other. There are people who spend years like this without the courage to declare themselves.

At that moment, a questioning is born within you. What if you hadn't declared yourself that night? What if you had run away? Hyunjae would probably walk away and leave your house feeling his heart broken. You weren't going to have the happy ending you wanted, and you could probably lose a precious friendship.

Ultimately, the butterfly effect has been proven and you should admit that your best 'mistake' was to have overcome your fear and admitted your senses. His best 'mistake' was sleeping with his best friend.

The question that remains is: Was that your destiny, or just the butterfly effect?

Ultimately, none of that mattered, because you both loved each other deeply.

▪︎

▪︎

MASTERLIST

[pretoriafics]

If I wasn’t a goddamn werewolf - Pt. 4

Things with your boyfriend are getting worse, and seems like Derek will not give up on you easily. Word count: 2.867 Pairings: Reader x Derek; Reader x Platonic!Talia Contain: Some angst, some fluff, Original characters (Daniel, your boyfriend)  Warnings: English is not my main language <3; Inappropriate language TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST PART 1  |  PART 5

Your eyes open slowly.

It was a sunny morning, with the orange lights of the sun passing through the windows of the loft. You were close to Derek's naked chest, and his fingers running slowly through your hair tell you that he woke up before you.

"Oh, damn, did I woke you up?" He asks you, worried, putting a sweet kiss on your forehead.

"No." You throw your arm on his waistline, pulling him close while looks at his green and sleepy eyes "Good morning."

A smile was born on Derek's lips, and he gets closer to you. His thumb runs through your face while he puts a soft kiss on your lips.

"Good morning." He mumbles, with his eyes attached to yours.

It's been a wonderful night. You and Derek had a stroll around the city on his Camaro, and then you guys stopped in a clearing into the woods. There you drank a few, and you and Derek laughed and cuddled all night. He requested you to came to his loft and spend the night with him, and you couldn't say no to his proposal. That's how you ended at his bed, with clothes from both of you spread through the bedroom's floor.

You and Derek said nothing for a while. You were just looking at each other, with sweetness and pure love emitting from each other's look. Of course, you didn't need to say anything. Actually, any word would mess up that moment when both of you were just feeling the presence of each other. Wow, he was so beautiful...

Derek gives a soft smile for you, and you almost melted in pure love. Suddenly, you felt butterflies in your stomach. Oh, God, that would be the perfect moment to tell him about your feelings. But you couldn't. You needed to go.

"I'll get late for a meeting with a client, so I have to go." Your voice was low and soft, and you gave him a slow kiss as a way to say goodbye. Then, you stood up from the bed, with just your panties covering your body.

He sats on the bed.

"Do you really need it?"

"Yeah." You said, wearing your bra and taking your shirt from the floor "You know, I have a few bills to pay. I hate adult life." You look at him with a small smile, and you wear your shirt.

Derek put himself on his knees on the bed and stretch his arms in your direction, grabbing your shirt. You let out a chuckle.

"I think your client will be understanding with you if you get late."

He pulls you in his direction, making you laugh.

"No, he won't! Stop, I have to go!"

Derek's arms wrap around your waistline, and he throws you on the mattress while chuckling. His green eyes get attached to yours and, then he puts several soft kisses onto your neck. His voice was low.

"I just need ten minutes more with you."

You close your eyes and wrap your fingers around his hair, just feeling his kisses through your skin while he puts his body over yours. His kisses had some kind of magic that could let you immovable and weak.

"Damn, I can't say no for you." You mumble.

Derek looks at you with a soft smile. He grabs your legs, putting them attached to his hips, and puts a slow and wet kiss on your lips. It was impossible not to smile between the kiss. You got late for your meeting that day.

That was the last time you woke up in his bed.

This time, when you opened your eyes, you didn't hear Derek's voice.

Sometimes, when you miss him, you close your eyes and start to remember all things you had lived together, from your friendship until your last moments. Your missing about him always seems stronger in the mornings. You both used to cuddle that hour of the day. After all, you both used to cuddle that hour of the day.

You felt the arm of your boyfriend on you, with your back on his chest. He was called Daniel. Well, you love him, but not the way he wants so much. He is such a successful surgeon and would give you the world if you wanted to. Everything is great with Dan: The dates, the conversations, sex... But, of course, he wasn't Derek.

That day, you needed to go to your training with Derek. So, you stood up from the bed, just wearing your lace panties. Dan sits on the mattress with arched eyebrows.

"Good morning for you too, cranky."

You turn yourself to face him, letting out a long sigh.

"Good morning. Sorry, baby. I'm just hurrying."

"Hurrying for what?"

To see another man.

"Uh..." You bite your inner lip, trying to think of a lie "Laura and I are just doing some exercises together. I'm late, and she'll kill me. She hates delay."

"She hates everything. Can't you stay here with me?"

Oh, God, and there he is: Looking at you with that puppy eyes.

"I can't. I'm sorry."

You walk to the wardrobe and takes some clothes while Dan lets out a long sigh of frustration.

"I just can't recognize you anymore. You are full of secrets from me. What's the problem?"

When you heard him, you stopped your way to the bathroom. Oh god. The last thing you want is to hurt his feelings. Dan just simply doesn't deserve this.

"Nothing, Dan. Really." You said, looking at him. The guilt was already filling your heart. "I'm just too busy. I'll compensate you for this." You go in his direction and curves your body, getting close to Dan and giving him a short and cold peck. "I promise."

Dan stares at you for a few seconds, complete disbelief about your words. He let out a long and tired sigh.

"Okay, if you say so..."

Damn. You were messing up everything. You hadn't time to fix things between both of you, so you go take a shower thinking in a way to conciliate your new life with your personal one.

Your time on the pack made you think about if you met Derek for real. He was such a different person with them! He was a tough one, rude and distant. He was the complete opposite when both of you were friends, mainly when you used to date. Derek was such an adorable man with you those times.

Is Derek has created a character when he was your boyfriend? Well, you didn't know.

In the beginning, at your training with your brand new alpha, he was cold and distant. Now he still the same way, but he is fussier than ever. Your training with him made you feel tired to death. However, that day, he noticed you were different.

"Go take five minutes resting." He said, with his analytical eyes on you. He wasn't too fussy today, and he almost seems a little bit more... caring. "You're with your head in the clouds today."

You walked in your water bottle direction while he spokes with you. With his comment, you look at him while you take a few sips.

"What?" You said, putting the water bottle away from your lips. Crap, Derek knows you so well...

"You're unfocused." Derek crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes from you "It's not your thing."

You put the water bottle on the floor, close to your smartphone. You took the cellphone, expecting Dan's messages because he always sends you a few while you're training. That day, you received nothing. Yeah, Dan was pissed off with you. You let out a long sigh, guilty.

"It's nothing." You said, unlocking the screen and going to Instagram. Then, you saw something that made you freeze: Dan's best friend posted a photo of them, still at college. He was wishing a happy birthday for Dan.

Crap! It was Dan's birthday, and you completely forgot!

You hide your face in your hand.

"Oh, damn..."

"You sure it's nothing?"

Derek still is looking at you, pretty open if you needed to talk with someone. He knew something was wrong with you. He saw you upset so many times that he knew when something was wrong.

You put your cellphone on the floor again, with your lips compressed. Then, ashamed as hell, you cross your arms and look to any part of the basement except Derek.

"It's Dan's birthday. The first we would spend together, and I just forgot it."

"You're definitely in trouble."

"Damn, I know." You let out a long sigh. "I just-"

"Look" He gets closer to you, looking you into your eyes "Don't push yourself too hard. You have been through a lot. It shouldn't be easy to just be part of this supernatural world all of a sudden. There's too much in your mind now."

Oh, he always knows how to calm you down... Or It was just the effect of his voice on you? Maybe both.

"I really don't want to think that way. I don't want to use all of this werewolf bullshit to be an excuse for being negligent with my boyfriend."

Derek shook his head negatively.

"(Y/N), you're not using this as an excuse-"

"I'm a terrible girlfriend, Jesus!" You slide your hand through your face "Dan don't deserve it."

Derek gives you a rueful look, hating to see you that way. Of course, you were just guilty with everything about you and Dan, but Derek doesn't need to knows it.

"Hey, look at me." He said, calling you to think straight. You instantaneously look at him, and he continued to talk. "Dan is a real lucky guy to have you."

And, God, how Derek envies him!

However, the entire world stopped when you gave him a soft smile, thankful for his words. The effect of his voice on you was - and maybe always will be - completely magical. Your smile made the same with him: made his heart race and get warm, and he felt an almost ethereal feeling.

Because, yeah, both of you had this kind of unreal bond.

"Thank you for your support, Der."

All that situation with Dan made you put your guard down. Derek knew how to use it to get closer to you again. Of course, he did it perfectly. It resulted in a conversation between both of you in months - a real conversation! And you even had called him by his nickname.

It was his turn to gave you a smile. You always melted in pure love.

"I'll always be here for you, (Y/N). You know it."

But... If Derek is just lying for you again? If he just wants to take advantage of you? He did it once, and he could perfectly do that again. Why not?

"Well..." You breathe in, recovering yourself of that sudden breathless and arousing your defenses again "I think I'm ready to continue training."

Derek compresses his lips, getting your silent and cutting message of 'stay away from me'. He breathes in and nods for you without saying any word.

You and Derek hadn't spoken to each other for the rest of the day.

Everyone was out to solve some kind of issue with a sort of creature in town. Derek has not authorized you to go with them because you were such a young werewolf, and you don't know how to defend yourself, so it could be dangerous for you and all of them. It was near 9PM, and you still were not ready to go to Dan's house. You had made a promise to him this morning, but you still don't know how to fix things. So, as a way to avoid your problems, you stay at the new Hale house until you figure out what you could do for Dan's birthday - and, also, what you could do to compensate him for all the bother you cause him.

You were laid on the couch, with your eyes fixed in the ceiling and thoughtful. Suddenly, a female voice launches you out of your own thoughts.

"I think we didn't meet each other properly. Seems like the perfect chance, don't you think?"

You sat on the couch and look at the owner of that voice, close to the frame that divides the living room and the entrance hall: It was Talia, the one you had heard so much about. You didn't know that, but she also heard a lot about you.

"Yeah, I think it is. I mean, we don't have to worry about all the mess this house is with the rest of the pack."

Talia gave you a smile, and you gave it back.

"It's pretty crazy. Teenagers are energical." She said, sitting on the couch next to you.

"Yeah, they are. But seems like they try to control themselves when Derek is close."

"Oh, of course. They are pretty aware that Derek could rip their necks."

You let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I noticed that."

Talia lay down on the couch, staring at the ceiling. The living room dives in silence, but not an awkward one. It was comfortable.

"So..." Talia broke the silence "I know you've passed through a lot. It's not easy being a werewolf suddenly and find out about a whole new world at the same time. It's a lot of information."

"I'm trying really hard. You have no idea. But I'm pretty worried about my boyfriend, Dan. I don't want to mess up things between us. You know, because of all of that supernatural thing."

Well, you don't want to mess up even more things between both of you.

"Take it easy. You get it with time." Talia looks at you, analytical "I know we aren't too close to each other, but I'll ask something because I worry about anyone who is part of the pack: You are, you know, happy with Dan?"

That question caught you by surprise, and you hesitate. Talia seems to notice it. But, finally, you reply to her.

"Uh... Dan do everything to makes me happy, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, but I also know that it doesn't answer my question."

Since the supermarket day, when Talia saw you for the first time, she noticed countless things that needed to be fixed. The first one was you and Dan. It was pretty obvious to her that you are not happy with him, as well as it was the fact that you needed some advice. She recognizes a lost soul when she sees one.

With her words, you hesitate again.

"When you say happy, you mean...?"

"I mean happiness, (Y/N). It shouldn't be difficult to answer this. There are just two possible alternatives: Yes, or no."

You compress your lips, thoughtful while looks at the ceiling. You felt in a therapy session. And honestly? You kinda needed this kind of conversation.

You spend a few seconds in silence as you were thinking about a reply.

"Yes, I am. Dan is perfect."

"But you think he is perfect for you?"

Hell no. Dan was perfect to be your best friend, and not something more. You always wanted someone who could pluck the air out of your lungs, someone who could put adrenaline into your veins. You want someone who could put your entire body on fire. Dan is unable to do it. He is too stable, like water.

But Derek... Oh, he was the pure meaning of fire.

"Well..." You let out a long sigh "I think he is."

Talia stares at you with arched eyebrows.

"Think? Oh, girl..." She let out a long sigh "Questions like these should have quick responses. It's a consequence for..."

"For being in love. I know."

"You're not happy, are you?"

It was your turn to look at her, recognizing a safe place there. You were honest now.

"Jesus, no. He's a great guy, but he got me so bored!"

Talia let out a low chuckle, looking at the ceiling now.

"It's visible you're not happy. I can see your discouraged look on the days you need to go to his house. If you're not happy, then why are you still with this guy?"

Because you need to move on, and you think Dan is the right man for it. You could fall for him with time.

"It's complicated..."

Your answer came with a long and thoughtful sigh. Talia knew all your drama with Derek, as well as the entire pack. So, she didn't need your explanations to find out about what the term 'it's complicated' means to you.

"I can understand you." She stood up from the couch, looking at you "But be careful to not lie to yourself. Be honest with you. I'm pretty sure things will get better. Otherwise, you can talk with me."

You sat on the couch, feeling a bit better. It was good to be honest with someone about all of that, after all.

"I'll remember it." You gave her a smile "Thank you."

Talia returns your smile and walks to the kitchen. And, now, you need to solve things with Dan.

And, maybe, with yourself.

TAG LIST: @teen-wolf-obsessed4life

[btsxmalereaders]

1:31 AM

Pairing: Im Jaebeom x male reader

Genre: angst

☆ Requested

Word Count: 2,08k

🎵 잘 지내야해 1:31 AM

[I am always drowned in the thoughts of you. I get exhausted from crying, but I look for traces of you again...]

The patter of the rain hitting the window has been the only thing that has set the gloomy place for the last couple of hours.

The catheter placed with an uncomfortable sticky tape on the back of your hand feels heavier and heavier. Your eyelids shutting even when you try to keep them open. You're tired despite only spending all the time laying on that stretcher.

Some nurses come from time to time to make sure you're comfortable and you only nod tightly to the questions they make; a routine that you don't have the energy to hate.

Of course, not all days are like this. Sometimes you wake up in a good mood and the personnel would take you out to the small garden behind the hospital, pulling your wheelchair since you're still weak, but it is still something. You would smile and take the sun on good days like those, and if a familiar visited,  they would bring you your painting tools for you to clear your head and have a good time.

But you haven't had good days, lately.

Your friends called you constantly and, when you had enough energy to respond, you tried to put your best smile for them.

You didn't see it as a bad thing, though. They didn't need to know that you were going through thick.

But there was someone you couldn't lie to.

"The receptionist told me 'You can see your fiancé now.'" Jaebeom says as he walks towards you, placing a cute bouquet of flowers on the small table next to you. He looks stunning and always walks in with the hugest smile on his face to greet you. Probably to lift up your mood, too. "Was that an insinuation?"

You can't help but giggle at that, "Maybe. But also they wouldn't let you in if I said you were only my boyfriend. And I don't want to keep this lie."

"Then I better hurry up, right?" He smiles, placing a kiss on your forehead and dragging the chair next to you, taking seat as he grabs your hand tightly. "As soon as you are discharged, I'll put a ring on your finger. I promise."

You keep the big smile to him and cup his cheek with your free hand, being careful because of the catheter. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you so much more," He murmurs. His semblance suddenly changing. "We've been really busy with the tour now that it is starting soon, I'm sorry. I wish I could see you everyday."

"It's okay, love. I understand."

A silence sets in after that. Jaebeom closes his eyes and enjoys your touch for a moment while you observe him in detail; every mole, every mark on his skin, his warm breath against your wrist and his grip on your hand, as if he would never want to let you go.

When he opens his eyes again they're full of tears. You don't even recall when was the last time you've seen him cry.

"Why are you crying? What's wrong?" You ask, sliding your thumb across his cheek to erase every trace of tears falling down.

"I'm sorry," Jaebeom softly whispers. "I hate that I can't do anything else for you."

You sigh, bringing him closer and moving a little, making a space for him to cuddle with you. "Come here. Don't cry."

He does as told, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, calming his nervousness with heavy breaths. It breaks your heart to see him like this.

Your boyfriend gets to calm himself as minutes pass by, with the help of your hand tracing circles on his back, and sweet words whispered to his ears.

You two get to talk properly afterwards, telling each other about how your days have been, although Jeobeom did most of the talk and you only listened, occasionally commenting about it and also asking about your friends.

"As usual, the boys send you greetings and hugs, but only I get to do that, right?" He chuckles, kissing your forehead for the nth time and making you blush. "They might even pop up at the videocall tonight since we'll be rehearsing."

"That's good, don't tell them I said this, but I actually miss seeing their faces and hearing their voices everyday."

Jaebeom laughs at that. "No wonder why I see Bambam sending you voice notes all the time."

A nurse comes back a moment later to let you know that the visiting hours is now over, so Jaebeom stands up and kisses you goodbye, "Don't forget that-"

"-we have a date. For dinner at half past eight. As we do almost every night. Of course I won't forget."

He smiles at you and kisses you again. "And that I love you."

"I love you too." You murmur with a smile and see him walk out of the room.

The nurse changes the serum, as usual, and you only stare at her, not knowing if you should ask...

"Is everything alright, ____?" She asks.

You've known her for a while now, it's almost as if you two were friends, but still, you were still undecided about something that has been in the back of your head for a couple of days.

"Noona, could you do something for me?"

GOT7's tour was about to kick off two weeks after that visit, although it wasn't the last one. Jaebeom did make sure to visit you whenever he could; after rehearsing or even skipping his time to have meals to rush in to the hospital -thing that you obviously scolded him for, but he promised he would get something in his way back-. He also made sure to show you clips of the rehearsals and some videos with messages from the boys for you, which you truly loved.

However, even if that lifted your spirits, it wasn't enough to make you feel better from the terrible days you've had. Not only you couldn't move and hang out as you did weeks ago, but you were feeling so weak that most of the time you would spend it sleeping. In one of Jaebeom's visit you two were talking until you fell asleep, and next thing you know he was saying goodbye again with a worried expression on his face.

And the worst thing is that you didn't have to be a genius to know the reason why. The disguised words you heard from your doctor were enough confirmation for you to know what was about to come.

And you definitely weren't ready for it.

"So? You got good news for me?" You ask the nurse once you see her entering the room.

She tilts her head and sees the hope shining in your eyes, despite looking so small and weak. "Yes. I talked with the doctors and they gave the authorization."

And that was enough for you to feel happy for the rest of the day.

"Are you sure you are okay?"

Unlike other days, today you have woken up happy and eager to go out. You suppose it is normal because you have anxiously waited for this day to come

You nod as an answer and the nurses carefully help you to get ready. 

To say you were nervous was an understatement. You weren't even sure how did the idea come to mind, but you were really determined to do it. And as you get in the van, you quickly send a message to Jinyoung to let him know that you were on your way there.

You've thoroughly planned all this; after all, it was a surprise for Jaebeom.

Of course he couldn't believe his eyes. He froze in his place while the boys almost ran to hug you; Jinyoung pushing the chair behind you and telling them to be careful, but you were too happy to even care about the bone crushing hugs you were receiving. It was all you wanted.

Jaebeom walks slowly to you and gives you a hug when they're done, letting out a sigh he didn't even know he was holding.

"Really? H-how did you even- Are you okay?" He asks, concerned, to which you laugh and nod.

"I'm good, hyungie. The doctor allowed it and I've been wanting to see you out of the hospital." You murmur, holding his hands. "And what kind of boyfriend and ahgase I'd be if I didn't attend your first concert of this new tour?"

They all seem very happy because they haven't seen you in a long time, so it's not surprising that everyone is around you all the time in backstage, asking you lots of questions and updating you on everything that happened since the last time they saw you, although no big news since you're used to chat and videocall them quite often.

While they are fascinated to have you there, Jaebeom seems to be more quiet and with a worried expression, indecipherable. You wonder if he knows or at least suspects about the reason behind it.

The concert finally starts and after more worried looks from your boyfriend, you decide to see from the first row the entire show. Even Yugyeom got you a lightstick for you to cheer them up, and Jaebeom stressed that whatever you needed you could ask anyone from the staff.

It goes pretty well, and you didn't feel uncomfortable or bad at all, but that didn't stop your boyfriend from making sure you were indeed okay every time he could; approaching the side of the stage right where you stayed and nodding in your direction from time to time, and the fans close to you were respectful and careful with your space.

Jaebeom gets somewhat sentimental while performing some songs, and when he stares back at you, you know it. He knows it.

So the first thing he does when the concert is over and gets to backstage is kneel in front of you and cry on your lap.

The boys don't understand the situation, but they leave you two alone for a moment, thinking that maybe their leader was too emotional tonight.

"What are you hiding from me? What have the doctors said?" He gets to babble while the tears are covering his face.

You're hurt from seeing him crumble like this in front of you, so you cry too, holding his hands and tracing circles on their back, trying to calm him down.

"Nothing you don't already know," You say. "You've seen me. I'm not doing well, and... I just had this feeling, I had to see you again, one last t-"

"No." He stops you. The lump on his throat making it harder to speak. "Don't say that. Please."

"Hyung, I'm sorry." You murmur, now caressing his back and placing a kiss on his head. "Please forgive me."

Before going back to the hospital, you say goodbye to your friends, who seem to now be understanding of the situation, but being too shocked to even say anything about it. They hug you more and try to lift the mood making lighthearted jokes that genuinely make you laugh.

Jaebeom doesn't want to separate from you anytime; he's either holding your hand or leaving kisses all over your face, letting you sleep on over his chest on your way back and whispering words to your ears.

"I'll come to see you again later today, alright?" He promises as you lay on the bed and get comfortable. "Sleep for now. I'll be here when you wake up."

He kisses you with so much love, not knowing it was the last time he would do it.

He didn't expect to receive that heartbreaking call that soon.

Just when he was getting ready to see you, he received the news, and he couldn't stop crying and shaking for a long moment. His friends were there, trying to calm him and themselves down; hurt by hearing they've just lost you and feeling so wrecked and weak. 

Naturally, the next shows were postponed, which raised suspicions and fear among the fans, who saw you just a few hours ago.

Jaebeom has never felt this empty and pained.

A part of him ruthlessly ripped away.

He can’t believe it,

That when he opens his eyes you won't be next to him.

Even if those memories make it hard on him,

It’s on his head again.

Even if he clears out all those memories,

He will always be drowned in the thoughts of you.

[luvlyrv]

Our Songs | Extra | Wendy x F!Reader SM!AU

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: So happy to say this series is completely finished now!! Enjoy!! I'm moving onto more projects and hopefully can wrap up some one shots I've been working on. This is a different style from what I usually do since it is an extra, warning that the post looks really long because it's in bulleted style lol

Date: 9/1/21

Series Masterlist

after your confession with wendy you were stuck with an enormous burst of energy

you were on cloud nine, a seemingly never-ending high

you decided not to text wendy the day right after

you didn't want her to think you regretted anything but you also didn't want to seem too clingy

also it didn't help that just thinking about her was enough to throw you into cardiac arrest

you didn't receive any notifications from wendy either

it was a bit disappointing, but you assumed she was also trying to take in the shock of it all

trying to take your mind off of wendy you spend an entire day running around your house

you pick up your instruments and have the jam of your life

emotional highs are very good for your creativity it seems

you decide to record some things and save some drafts

who knows if it'll be useful in the future?

you worked till you felt dead tired and like you couldn't have another thought in your brain

even after you spent an entire day trying to exert your nervous and elated energy you were still hesitating on texting wendy when you woke up

but you missed her so much already

so you send a text asking her how she feels

she says she feels okay, and then asks about you

'yeah, i'm okay too'

your conversation was rocky

things weren't going as smooth as before

and it was evident that it was because the both of you had no idea how to behave

you took a deep breath before texting her your question

'so, can i take you on that first date?'

you see a bubble showing that she was texting

and then it disappeared

before showing up again

and disappearing

and- ugh! your heart was racing waiting for her answer

i mean, she liked you back right? so why would she say no?

'yeah, of course! :)'

whew, okay, looked like you almost made a big deal out of nothing

little did you know wendy was freaking out

she was a bit embarrassed at herself, acting as if she was a high school kid in love or something

it took wayyy too much concentration for her to type out something sensible

but she was excited for you to finally ask

you were also excited for her to say yes

your first date is at the downtown center

there was a festival and you were hoping to enjoy all the effort the artisans put into their work with wendy

you're walking with her through the numerous stalls set up

as the both of you admire the beautiful crafts set on display your hand reaches for hers

you feel the pressure of her hand squeezing back and you look at her

she looks at you and giggles

you didn't even realize what you were doing

'oh, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to do that suddenly.' you freak out and let go of her hand

you're worried that she was laughing at you and that she didn't want to hold hands

'it's okay! i thought it was cute'

she reaches out for you and you don't let go this time

instead you enjoy how happy she seems to be sharing this moment with you

and out in public too

later on you both go to the square where there were musicians

the sun was beginning to set, allowing for beautiful lighting and you appreciated songs you've never listened to before

wendy tugs at your arm while still staring at the performers

'i hope we can perform up there someday. together.'

you smile at her as she still looks on

'i think we will.' you assure her

finally night hits and you both call it a day

you walk her to her car and stop her

you kiss her forehead

'so, will there be a second?' you ask with a smile

you feel like you already know the answer

'i think that sounds great.'

life with wendy in it became easy

you guys seldom fought

and even when you did at least one of you would make something for the other

dropping it off at the doorstep and leaving an apology note

and after enough time of cooling down you would always come back to each other, talking out your problems from before

you personally felt like your work improved as well

wendy had become your muse

you sought to create tracks that would impress her

or that would be worthy of having her voice in it

and you felt like it was easier to write lyrics

because every experience with wendy created new feelings

feelings that you could hardly describe sometimes

when you guys decided to finally start working on your second collaboration you busted out the drafts you created long ago

wendy was impressed after sitting down and listening to your drafts

'woah, how many hidden gems do you have on your computer?'

'well, these ones in particular i made on the same day. the day after i confessed to you.'

you're both flustered

because it's easy to tell the kind of state you were in by the songs

wendy takes your hand and kisses it gently as your music continued to play

'you must think of me pretty highly, if the thought of me compelled you to make something so incredible'

you heat up at her cheesiness

'oh stop it.'

the two of you end up choosing a refreshing feeling/sound for the album

'cause you recharge me every time i see you!' she says

when you guys are almost done producing the album, that was when you went on the dinner date with wendy

the one where you guys would finally confess to the world

after recording and uploading the announcement video the both of you decided to turn off your notifications and avoid reading people's reactions

instead you guys opted to spend the rest of the day baking and then watching a movie together

the both of you decided that it would be stressful to engage with your audience right away, and that's why it took a full day for you both to check your phones again

both seulgi and yeri already knew about your relationship but they both flooded you guys with congratulations anyways

they just wanted you to know they were proud of your bravery!

besides them, both of your families already knew and didn't comment much

they'd already stated how they think you're good for each other when you guys had visited together

especially your younger cousin

cause apparently she's a big fan of wendy and is definitely not using you as a way to get close to her idol

and is definitely not bragging about her how cousin is 'super super cool and famous and is dating another famous person and i think they'll be rich someday!!! so get on my nice side!'

you're happy to see that a lot of fans are happy for your relationship

wendy just keeps telling you 'of course they are, who wouldn't for a cute ass couple like us?'

it was at that point that you guys had decided to save up and move into a nice place together

you guys had talked about future plans before

not only that, but you had been practically living together already

between all the dates that lead to seemingly indefinite sleepovers

and the recent collaboration that made you guys be stuck together

it was really you guys living at each other's place weeks at a time

when you guys move in you're grateful

because you get to experience all the little things from her even more

some nights when you're stressed she rubs circles on your back to help you sleep

when you guys shower together she takes her time to carefully wash your hair

it was those deeply intimate moments that made you the happiest

both of your careers were doing really well due to the reception of your second collab and all the media fuss that happened with your dating annoucement

you both still have solo careers and interact with other musicians

but along with moving in, you guys decided to become a duo and consistently create music together

in the morning when you share breakfast you always remind her how good life is and how thankful you are

[hot-wiings]

Abuse Trigger Warning.

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Requested By: Wattpad User

Edited: 11-26-2020

You felt exhausted as you unlocked your front door. You had a fairly shit day, and you knew it was bound to get worse. Your shit day started with you being late to class, this wasn't the first time it happened and it resulted in detention accompanied by a phone call to your father. You couldn't be mad at the school, not really, they were just enacting the school policy. You had no one to blame but yourself.

You knew your father was fairly pissed at you, he always was. You knew the minute you opened that door he was gonna start the same old pattern. He would yell, he would get angry, he would hit you. You would either stand up for yourself and get beat worse or take it quietly and let it be over with. With a deep breath in and out you opened the door and closed it behind you quietly. You hoped that if you were quiet then you could sneak past your drunken father who spent most of his time wasted on the couch. Your hope was diminished as you saw him standing before you, semi-drunk, sober enough to walk and be cruel. Sober enough to hurt you. 

"You're finally home."

"Hey."

You barely had time to place your bag on the ground before he gripped his hand in your hair and pulled you away from the door and closer to him. 

"Don't 'hey' me, you're in so much trouble."

His hand squeezed your jaw, making him grip your cheeks hard. You knew there was going to be light bruises formed on your face later. 

"Your school called me, they said you received detention. You little shit! I'm paying for that school so you can become a hero, not so you can fool around." 

Before his words registered in your head, his hands were on your body. He slapped you, he punched you and hit you until you were on your side. On your side, he kicked you and kicked you until you begged him to stop. He didn't stop until you heard a crack and you were simply positive he broke something. All he did was grin down at you sadistically, happy he caused you such permanent pain. 

"Go to your room you worthless excuse of a hero. You're lucky I pay for that school."

You weakly pulled yourself up and limped your way upstairs to your bedroom. You closed the door before slumping yourself on the bed. You let the tears escape. A downpour of feelings on your cheeks as you tried to muffle your sobs.

You hated him so much, and you hated him even more for leaving you with this feeling. You wanted to get help, help from your teachers, help from your boyfriends, but you couldn't. He was right, you are a poor excuse of a hero. How could you ask for help when you shouldn't need it? Why didn't you defend yourself? Why didn't you ever fight back? Katsuki and Eijirou we're such strong heroes, they should be ashamed to have you as a girlfriend.

You tried to quell your sobs as your cell phone rang. You picked it up quickly, hoping your dad didn't hear it, and looked at the caller ID. Eijirou <3. You were glad he hadn't face-timed you, you didn't want him to see you in such distress, you didn't want him to see you so weak.

"Baby, what's up?"

"Hey sweetheart, I was just calling to see if you needed a ride to Katsuki's house."

"A ride..."

"Yeah, a ride. He invited us to his house for Thanksgiving, remember?"

You scowled as you pressed a hand to your swelling ribcage. You hadn't remembered, you tried not to remember the holiday as it was. Thanksgiving was a depressing time for you. It was your mother's favorite holiday. She died when you were young but you still had the distant memory of her dancing around the kitchen making a perfect holiday feast. You and your father tried to avoid it, avoid the memory.

"No, no. Of course, I remember. I'm... I don't think I need a ride."

"Are you sure...? You sound upset, are you okay?"

You bit your lip as you let another lie tumble from your lips.

"I'm fine babe, just a little cold from the weather. I'll see you and our other babe when I get there later."

"Okay... We'll be waiting with warm arms and kisses."

"I love you... Bye."

You sighed as you pulled yourself from the bed. You had to cover up these wounds, and find some advil for the pain. Maybe you even had time to take a cold shower to take down the swelling.

"Well... Now I know why you got detention. Of course, my daughter has been working herself out to multiple boys."

"I- I- I-"

"Your mother would be ashamed of you... The only reason I'm not bashing your head in now is that people would notice, but I guarantee you, I'm pulling you from that shitty school and placing you in a conversion institute."

He snatched your phone from you and place it in his pocket before leaving your room and latching the door, leaving you with no means of communication or escape. No one to call. No one to save you. You had enough. You couldn't take another minute of it. You couldn't handle the anxiety of not knowing when he would decide to beat you, the horror of waiting for him to strike you with his fist. You could bear the pain, but everyone had their limits. You wouldn't let him change you. You wouldn't let him take away Eijirou. You wouldn't let him take away Katsuki.

You frantically dove into your closet for some clothes that would cover your entire body. Your jeans dug into your bruised side but you didn't let yourself dwell on it. You found one of Katsuki's hoodies and quickly slipped it on, you needed something to cover your arms, the smell of his sulfur and cinnamon brought comfort to yourself.

You didn't give it a second thought as you slipped one leg out of the window and slowly brought out your other leg. You turned your body so it positioned you with your body facing the window and slowly lowered yourself down as far as you could reach before you jumped. You landed on your side, knocking the wind out of your lungs. You let out a string of coughs before pushing yourself up and running straight to Katsuki's house. You didn't pay attention to the pain in your chest, or the fact that it had begun to rain down on you. You just ran. 

You left a string of frantic, hard knocks on the door of the Bakugo residence. Although the Bakugou family had been expecting both you, Katsuki's girlfriend, and his boyfriend, Eijirou, that wasn't until much later in the evening. You received no answer to your knocks and as you looked in the driveway you noticed no cars. Nobody was at home.

This day reached its climax and it couldn't possibly get worse. You were all bruised up from your father, he wanted to send you to a conversion camp, you had no phone, you were soaked to the bone and the rain just turned to hail. You slid your back down against the Bakugou's door and you pulled your legs up to your chest in a bent position. You let little sobs out as you formed your body into a ball to try and create heat.

You spotted a car pull into Katsuki's driveway and you tried your best to smile and perk up. You tried your best to make it seem like your father hadn't beat the shit out of you, like your skin wasn't oozing black and green colors. You tried to make it seem like you were happy and normal.

Masaru Bakugo walked up to his front door with an umbrella in one hand and his keys in the other. There was confusion placed on his face when he saw someone balled up against his front door, but that confusion morphed into worry when he saw it was you slumped up against his door.

"[Y/N]...? Is that you? C'mon, Let's get you out of this horrendous weather."

You were quick to stand up and move to the side as Masaru fumbled with his keys and unlocked his front door. Once inside, you felt bad that you were dripping water all over their home floor. Shy and embarrassed, despite being in the Bakugo home many times, you looked at your feet and mumbled out an apology.

"I'm sorry for getting your floor dirty."

"It's fine! Let me go find you some towels and some dry clothes."

A warm feeling spread in your stomach as he walked off. You loved Masaru. Katsuki had been out to his parents for a while now, and they'd known you and Eijirou for a decent amount of that time. Masaru was so nice, so kind, and he never made you feel bad about your sexual orientation. He treated you like an addition to his family, he treated you like a daughter and it made going back to your own father hurt so much more.

Katsuki's father came back shortly with towels and some of Mitsuki's old clothes in hand. He smiled at you as he handed over the items. His smile was warm, it made you think of the small, soft moments you shared with Katsuki. Everyone said he resembled his mother, but you could see the small attributes he got from his father.

"Mitsuki took Katsuki to the store with her. They're probably gonna be there awhile knowing how stubborn they are, they're probably stuck in the stuffing aisle arguing over what brand to get. If you ever come over and we're not here you're welcome to use the spare key. It's under the rock by the azalea bush."

"Thank you, it's very nice of you."

You smiled as you took the clothes from Masaru and headed off to the bathroom. It was a pair of leggings, a tank top, and a couple of towels. As you dried off and put the fresh clothes on, you grew nervous. You could see some bruises peeking out, and there was a handprint on your arm. You just needed to get to Katsuki's room and steal one of his hoodies before Masaru got a chance to notice the bruise.

You walked out of the bathroom with your wet clothes wrapped in a towel, you tried keeping it to your arm to hide the bruises. As Masaru took your clothes it was all for naught.

"I'll put your clothes in the washer so you can take dry clothes home."

You knew he saw it. His eyes lingered for too long, and his tone changed, yet he didn't mention it. Once Masaru left to take your clothes to the washroom you made your way upstairs to Katsuki's room and slipped on one of his hoodies before going back downstairs. Unbeknownst to you, Masaru made a concerned phone call to Mitsuki while you were putting on one of Katsuki's hoodies.

"You're probably cold from being outside so I made some tea."

"Thank you."

You smiled at Masaru as you took a seat on the cream-colored sofa across from him and picked up your cup of tea. You took tiny sips as Masaru tried to word out and voice his concerns to you.

"I noticed a bruise on your forearm, how did you get it?"

The shame and embarrassment of the truth flooded your face – not to mention if you told him, then it would somehow get back to your father. He would hurt you worse. Like you've done to your teachers, and many others, you lie to your boyfriend's father.

"Oh, that? I was sparring with someone from school."

"If hypothetically, someone was hurting you, it would be okay to tell me."

"No one's hurting me."

"[Y/N]... It's not just your arm. You have bruises forming on your face, Katsuki spars and he doesn't get hurt like that. It's okay to tell me... Even if it's someone like Katsuki, I know he can get rough sometimes... I would believe you."

Masaru knew it was wrong to play into your feelings for Katsuki like that. He knew his son would never hurt you, he might have been a handful, but Masaru raised him right. Masaru needed to play into your feelings to get you to fess up on who was hurting you. Masaru reached out and grabbed your cold hands. He looked at you, practically pleading you to tell him the truth. Masaru had a way of talking to you that made you want to be honest about it and hearing him toss out Katsuki's name hurt you. You broke down, tears streaming down your face, as ugly sobs escaped you.

"No, Katsuki would never hurt me. It's--It's my dad. He can get mean sometimes, and he got really mad..."

Masaru took your teacup and placed both yours and his on the table before he pulled you in his arms as you spilled and blabbed about all your father did to you. It was so foreign to you, the feeling of being in a man's arms, a father's arms. To be held and comforted without being hurt. You couldn't remember a moment where your father held you and said everything was gonna be okay.

"He found out about my sexuality. I can't- I can't go back."

"It's okay, it's gonna be okay. You don't have to. What your father does to you is wrong. It's not right. I'm not gonna let you go back there, okay?"

"Thank you."

Your words came out in choked up sobs, but it didn't stop Masaru from keeping a tight hold on your body. It didn't stop him from rubbing comforting circles in your back, something he did for Katsuki when he was sick as a young child. Once your sobs quelled Masaru pulled away and looked at you earnestly.

"Why don't you go rest in Katsuki's bedroom. I'll send him up once Mitsuki gets home."

"Okay... Thank you, Masaru."

As you laid in Katsuki's bed you felt overwhelmed. Anxiety and dread coursed through every vein, cell, and fiber of your being. You didn't want Katsuki to come home. You didn't want to talk to him. You didn't want any confrontations. You didn't want to see the pity on his face when you told him your dad beat you, you didn't want to see the disgust on his face when he realized what a shitty hero you are.

What kind of a hero can't even protect themselves from their father?

You didn't want to have to tell him, that was if Masaru hadn't already contacted Mitsuki and Katsuki at the store. You didn't want to have the conversation you knew you would need to have once he got home. To top that off, you didn't want to tell Eijirou. How could you face him? How could you tell him that your father hurt you? He was going to beat himself up for it. He was going to be mad that he didn't protect you. You could already envision the teary-faced he'd give you, and it filled you with such dread. You never wanted to fill your partners up with such sadness. You never wanted your partners to feel such hurt due to the expense of your hand.

You weren't sure how long you lied there in Katsuki's bed. The scent of his shampoo lifted from his pillow, and the smell of his nitroglycerin filled your lungs as you laid buried in his blanket. Sometimes you would even get a whiff of Eijirou's shampoo, residue from late-night study dates, and cuddle sessions. It was all very comforting, as you laid there motionlessly. Even as you heard the door creak open, you didn't move from your spot to see who it was. Even when you felt a big, warm hand placed on your hip you didn't lookup.

"Hey." 

Once Katsuki's rough voice made contact with your ears you rolled your body over so you were on your back, groaning ever so lightly as your bruised back made contact with the mattress. Gazing up into the red eyes of your rougher lover, you tried to make your smile reach your eyes. 

"Hi, how was the store?" 

"Don't do that."

To anyone else, it would have sounded like Katsuki was being hostile, like he was being rude and gruff. You heard differently. You could hear the pain in his voice, you could hear the worry and fear laced in his rough demeanor. As Katsuki dropped to his knees and grabbed your hand you could see the way this bothered him, you could see the way he was worried and the way this tore him up. 

"My dad called my mom, don't pretend everything is fine when it's not. Don't pretend that your not hurting. Don't pretend with me."

"So he told you everything?"

"Just that my dad saw some bruises on you, said' you should tell me yourself."

You squeezed your eyes shut to prevent the tears from leaking out, to prevent the tears from falling into a downpour. Katsuki moved his other hand up to your face and cupped your cheek in his warm hand making you feel secure.

 "Just tell me. It's gonna be okay, I'll make it okay, I'll make it better."

"My dad hurts me Katsuki. He psychically hurts me, and now he knows about you and he wants to send me away." 

The tears poured out of your eyes, they streamed down your cheeks and dripped down onto your shirt as little sobs clawed their way out of your throat. Katsuki wrapped his arms around you and tugged your body close to his, with his face in the crook of your neck, he buried himself in you. If asked he would have denied it, but Katsuki let his own tears fall. 

"I'm not gonna let anyone take you from me. I won't let anyone take you from me and Eiji."

When Katsuki pulled away you felt a pain in your chest. It was sharp and strong, Katsuki barely noticed as you placed a hand on your chest. He barely noticed until you began coughing. Your little cough turned into a fit, and little bits of blood came out with each burst of air out.

"Katsu, I don't feel so good."

"Fuck, [Y/N]... It's-It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. Just stay awake." 

As Katsuki scrambled to pick you up bridal style, it felt like your lungs were on fire. You were light-headed as your head rolled against his shoulder, and the last thing you registered before your head went dark was the sound of Katsuki begging you to stay awake. 

All Katsuki could do was pace the white floor in the hospital room. His hands came up and tugged at his blonde roots as angry, volatile thoughts raced through his head. He paced, and stomped around, and tugged to keep his tears at bay. He barely paid attention to the voices in the room telling him to calm down, all he heard was the heart monitor. How could they expect him to just sit? How could they expect him to be okay when you were the one in the hospital bed? 

“Katsuki, you need to sit down. Pacing and getting worked up isn't going to help.”

“I know that! Do you think I don't know that? I know it isn't going to help, I know nothing I do is going to help! I couldn't help her, that's why she's in here!”

His words came out harsh and rough. They were sharp and all Eijirou could do was frown at his hands. He knew all the emotions Katsuki was feeling. He knew them all because he was going through the same thing. You didn't tell them what was going on at home, you didn't tell them and they didn't know. They didn't know and didn't help you. They couldn't help you and now you were in the hospital. 

All Eijirou had in his head was every interaction with you, maybe if he had noticed it, noticed the signs, he could've helped. He had noticed the way you made sure you were home by a certain time. He thought you were a good girl. The way you always asked your dad for permission for things, no matter how small and minuscule. He thought you were a daddy's girl. You always wore hoodies. He assumed you liked wearing what was his. He was so wrong.

“I couldn't help her, and you couldn't help her either. It's not your fault she's in here.”

“But I should've! I should've seen the signs!”

Eijirou pulled himself up from the stiff hospital chair he was sitting on and walked over to Katsuki. He pulled Katsuki against himself and murmured sweet words into Katsuki's ear as he let him pour his heart out. He let him flurry his heart out, he let him cry. 

“I should've helped her, I should've helped her.”

“I know... I should've helped her too, but all we can do is hope she wakes up.”

It was as if a miracle happened at that moment. Amongst their crying, despite the slim chance of survival, your eyes fluttered open. They fluttered open and your hands moved out, reaching for something, for someone. Your head hurt, and the last thing you remembered was being carried away by Katsuki.

“K-Katsuki...?”

You tried pushing yourself up into a sitting position but Katsuki and Eijirou were quick to get to your side. Katsuki gently placed a hand on your shoulder, keeping you down as he had reached out for your hand. 

“Don’t move, it’ll hurt.”

“What happened?”

Eijirou pulled your hand he had gripped up to his mouth and kissed your knuckles. Your heart broke at the sad expression he gave you. It tore you up to see such pain and agony on his face. 

“Your dad... he broke your rib, and it pierced your lung. It caused you to get internal bleeding, had Katsuki not been there when you were coughing, you might not have made it.”

“You know? Who told you.”

“You passed out, you almost died! Was I not supposed to tell him, you dumbass!”

“Don’t yell at me!” 

“[Y/N]... You almost died. The doctor was barely able to fix your lung, you waking up is a miracle in itself, and you're still going to need more surgeries to fix your lung.”

You squeezed your boyfriend's hands in understanding. You had worried them. This incident wasn't like when you were eight and your dad gave you stitches, or when you were ten and he broke your arm. He almost ended your life. 

“I’m sorry... I should've told you.”

“Why didn't you? Did... Did you not trust us? We would never hurt you, we would've helped you.”

“No, I trust you. I do! It's stupid...”

“I don’t care if it's stupid, I've spent the last four hours in this goddamned hospital for you, you could at least tell us why you kept it a secret.”

You closed your eyes and tried to stop the tears from falling. You pulled your hands from theirs and buried your face in your palms. 

“I’m so fucking pathetic! That's why I hid it... I didn't want your help, because I should've been able to handle it myself. I'm supposed to be a hero, but I can't even stop my father from hurting me, it's so pathetic. I'm pathetic.”

Katsuki pulled your hand against his lips and his other hand wiped away your tears. Eijirou was quick to follow suit. They desperately wanted to pull you against themselves, to hug you tightly as if you'd disappear, but they knew it would hurt you, they knew you were still too fragile 

“You're not pathetic. You're strong, you're so strong.”

“Fuck, you're strong. You handled him by yourself for so long on your own, but you're not on your own anymore. The cops got your X-rays, between your broken ribs, and old healed bone fractures, it's enough evidence to put your father in jail for a long time.”

A smile spread across your face as Katsuki spoke his words to you. You dreamed of the words for such a long time. You dreamed of the day you no longer had to endure him. You dreamed of it, you yearned for it, and now it was here. 

“My mom and dad want you to live with us. You'll, come, right? You have to, my parents love you. I’m gonna smother you with my love, and Eiji's gonna be over every day. We're gonna take good care of you.”

“I will, I'll be over every day, and we'll watch your favorite movies, and eat your favorite food. We’ll take care of you.”

“I’ll come. I’ll come live with you Katsuki.”

“Fucking good, I need you to be close. I need you to be close and safe.”

As Katsuki kissed your forehead, Eijirou left kisses up your arm. Your fears of telling them about the abuse were far from your mind, as was your father. You were ready to start your life with your boyfriends, you were ready to move in with the Bakugo’s, a couple who would love you like a daughter, the right way. You were ready to start this peaceful chapter of your life.