#I'm having shitty personal day dont mind me

[mins-fins]

pearls.

&&. its easy to let go around you, mark is so glad he has you as an escape.

pairing: mark lee x m!reader

genre: angsty but it ends fluffy, idol x regular joe

warnings: mentions of overworking

word count: 1.4k

notes: wrote this for the n01 markf ever in the world!!!! if yk who you are, yk who you are 🫶 anw, i am so terribly in love with mark this is absolutely vile 🙁 save me from this insanely pretty canadian man (DONT SAVE ME), if you can forgive me for not updating for literally TEN DAYS, take this as my apology.. i am so so very corny so those little ending love confessions come from real words i have said to my own very real bf 😞 again sorry for not updating for very long my knee is pretty injured AND life is so shitty.. okay i love you all bye 😓

you won't try to come up for an explanation as to why you were up at one in the morning.

yeah you were tired, but you were still up making coffee in your kitchen. your mind was racing with thoughts of work, god your job stresses you out so much, it's going to end up killing you one day, you can't close your eyes without hearing the loud shouting of your manager and overbearing customers who think they own the world.

sleep has never came easy to you, so coffee at one in the morning it is. the aroma of roasted beans makes it's way around the air of your kitchen, a smell that has become a staple of comfort to you, yeah the excessive coffee intake might kill you someday, but right now? right now you felt like you were in heaven.

your coffee drinking is interrupted by a knock at your day, your head shoots up like your a deer caught in headlights, and you blink at the unmoving wooden door of your unit. you're not expecting anyone, and especially not at one in the morning. your mind races with questions as you place the heated mug onto your kitchen counter, groaning silently as you make your way over to the door.

you can't think of who could possibly be at your door, maybe your manager? one of your coworkers? a guy from amazon delivering a package originally for your neighbors?

the last option seems like the most probable one, so when you open your door, you prepare a small sentence for the delivery person you expect to be at your door. "for the last time unit 17 is on the second floo—"

you pause as you open the door, it is not a random delivery guy from amazon. when you look up to meet the eyes of the person who had knocked on your door, you come face to face with a person you had missed more than anything.

mark.

you find a small smile coming to your face at the sight of your boyfriend, but your smile falls as you take in how he looks. his eyes are red and puffy, he's fidgeting with his sweater strings, and he's bitten his lips so hard that they've begun bleeding. your lips turn downward at the sight before you, he looks stressed, he looks miserable.

"oh god, hi babe, i didn't even know you'd come around".

mark blinks at you, continuing to fidget with the strings of his sweater, the sweater he's wearing is one you bought for him back last year when you went on that trip to vancouver. "sorry" he whispers, blinking again. "i just— i don't know i feel overwhelmed".

you tilt your head, immediately getting what he meant by that. you open your door wider, pausing mark's fidgeting momentarily to grab his left hand to intertwine it with yours. "come in" you don't wait for his response, just tug his hand gently, lurching him forward into your unit and smoothly closing the door behind you.

you catch on to mark's heightened anxiousness, but he seems to be want to be avoiding that topic as much as possible. "did something happen?"

mark is quick to shake his head, way too quick, you narrow your eyes at him and his weird change in behavior. "no, nothing, i'm just.. work, it's all becoming just a little too much for me".

ah, a small frown forms again on your lips. mark is a hardworking person, you know that, but it sometimes all gets to his head, those unbearable thoughts that he's not doing well enough, the unbearable feeling of anxiety that settles whenever he thinks about his future as a musician, the feeling that he's not doing enough even though he already does so much.

you hate that this has become a familiar sight. a distressed mark with tears welled up in his eyes, clearly trying his best to stay put together as he stood in front of your door, each time, it seemed to be getting worse and worse.

you've seen mark at so many of his lows, many more than you like to count, and just the thought of him feeling like he isn't doing enough upsets you.

you're not thinking about anything else when you step forward, not your untouched coffee on the counter, not your shitty job, nothing but making mark feel better. your arms wrap around him instinctively, and you loop your left arm around his waist to pull him into a hug, a hug he doesn't try to fight.

you hear a small sniffle leave mark as you tighten your hold on him, a few years escape his eyes, wetting the top of your sleeve, but you don't care, much too busy embracing him. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry" your words are nothing but a small whisper in the expanse of your apartment, as if a secret shared only between the two of you, but mark hears your words well, he hears everything he has to. you raise and press a kiss to his forehead, an act of affection that just makes mark even more emotional than he expected.

"you shouldn't have to feel like this, you work so hard, you do so much.."

your mutters only get a small chuckle in response, and you just snicker as well.

mark has always found it easy to let go around you, it's been a staple of your relationship since forever, even before you began dating. around you, he doesn't feel like he has to put on a show, he doesn't have to live up to all of these unrealistic expectations. with you, he doesn't have to be world famous idol mark lee, he doesn't have to be star trainee mark lee, he doesn't have to be perfect, flawless mark lee.

with you, mark can let go, he can just be himself.

mark has no idea what he'd do without you.

when you pull away, arms still caged around mark, he doesn't let go immediately, head still pressed against your shoulder.

nothing else matters at the moment to you. so, instead of trying to move away from him, you let him begin moving you backward, you just allow for him to, lightly squeaking when he pushes you onto the couch and quickly moves to lay on top of you.

you giggle at his dedication, but he doesn't say anything more, just wraps his arms around you and lays his head onto your chest, listening to the beating of your heart. "you tired?"

mark just nods against your chest, letting out a small sigh as he cracks one eye open to glance at you. "y/n?"

"hm?"

"i love you.." he mutters, grabbing your hand and lacing his fingers with yours. "love you so much, i'm so happy i have you".

you laugh. "mark—"

"hush" he places a finger against your lips, cutting off your oncoming words. "let me finish" he gives a tired smile as he continues.

"i can't believe how lucky i am to have you, your always here taking care of me and i.. i can never figure out how to repay you, you're one of the best things to ever happen to me, everything becomes much more bearable with you, i love you so so much it's literally driving me crazy".

you blink as you listen to mark pour his heart out to you. he has always been like this, oh you're so in love, even at some of his lowest points, he never fails to remind you that he loves you, and that he feels so deeply for you. his words always strike you in a strange place, they always get a smile and red face out of you.

oh mark lee always knows how to leave you speechless.

"hey" you whisper, noticing mark slowly looking away from you. "you don't have to repay for me for anything, i'm your boyfriend, i'm always going to look after you because you're wellbeing is important to me, and don't start with all of that, you're one of the best things to happen to me".

mark snorts silently. "love you".

"love you more".

mark leans closer, moving his soft hand against yours. "i know" he whispers.

you run your fingers through his hair, slowly coaxing him to sleep with your ministrations.

"good".

[boydepartment]

enhypen texts + scenario - when you ask them to call

a/n: i am procrastinating on eng 102 hw. that’s not due until sunday but STILL. i just don’t wanna do it rn 🫶

warnings: cursing

MASTERLIST

jungwon-

when jungwon finally called and you answered you perked up...

"hey my baby! are you feeling any better? i know this cold has been messing with you..." his voice sounded worried. you sneezed and hummed softly. "i've been trying to get better so i can see you again, i dont wanna get you sick or anything!" you whined, you missed him dearly but you could not get him sick. especially with a comeback around the corner. "do you want to play a game or something? that always cheers you up!" you smiled at jungwon's kindness, "i'd really love that."

heeseung-

when heeseung answered he set his phone up his phone at his desk so you could see him...

"hey my favorite person! i missed you..." heeseung mumbled as he clicked away at the computer. "i thought i asked you to stop playing league!" you teased him, joking of course. he started giggling and pushed up his glasses. "after this game, i'm in the middle and leaving would make me a shitty friend!" he was focused. you really didn't mind when he played games while you called him. you got to see the eye candy in front of you, and you got to listen to him talk to himself, cursing under his breath. so safe to say you were not complaining <3

jay-

when you finally got a call it felt like a breath of fresh air to you...

"i am so stressed right now..." you leaned you head down on you pillow, you resorted to studying in bed. "i know my love, do you want to teach me what youre learning? i heard that can help..." he suggested, jay's voice was soft. you smiled to yourself, "i think that will help, but can you tell me about your day first?" "of course darling..."

jake-

when jake finally answered you, you kicked your feet a little, not that he needed to know that...

"hiiiiii!" jake said, in his usual cheery tone, he was always happy to hear your voice, so you didnt answer, you hummed. "y/nnnnnnn!!!!! i want to hear your voice please!" he started acting overdramatic, whining, being loud, the whole thing. you started to laugh and snort. "that works for me too, your laugh is my second favorite noise!" your brows furrowed, "what the hell is your favorite?" "YOUR VOICE ITSELF?????" jake sounded offended, "I AM NOT SOME PERV? I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE THINK THAT!" you started laughing again, jake never failing to making your mood lighter.

sunghoon-

you did not think sunghoon was actually sprinting, so when you answered the face time call and saw the phone looking like it was being thrown, you started laughing.

"AH! I AM FINALLY IN MY HOTEL ROOM!" you heard his door shut and saw him flop on the bed, "hi my love!" you were still giggling, "you didn't have to run!" "i did have to run! i missed you! and you missed me!" sunghoon spoke like it was the most simple thing on earth. "i love you." you spoke softly, sunghoon put his face in the blanket. mumbling out a weak, "i love you too."

sunoo-

"NOW WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS FROM ME?!"

you jumped back from your phone, sunoo was LOUD. "i didnt want you to think i was clingy!" you cringed out. sunoo let out an appalled noise. "y/n l/n i love you more than anything in the world! do not be afraid to say you miss me! in fact i miss you ALL the time!" you heard him huff at the end, solidifying his statement in a very sunoo way. he never failed to make you smile. "okay okay! i miss you everyday too! now talk to me please!" you said in between laughs. "THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

riki-

you read over his lasts texts trying to comprehend them until he called you

"you okay? you seemed mad." riki spoke, you head him rustle around a bit so you assumed that he was in bed, you were too. "no, i am just really tired of human interaction right now." riki chuckled slightly, "that's ironic." "shut up i thought we already established you are something else." you spoke quickly and defensively, this made him laugh and accidentally drop his phone. "FUCK!" you started laughing, "what the hell just happened!?" you didn't know this, but the fact riki made you laugh by purposely dropping his phone made his heart warm. you also didn't need to know that risking shattering his phone was on purpose either just to hear you laugh again. "I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED MY PHONE AND I CANT FIND IT BECAUSE IT IS DARK IN MY ROOM!"

[w0rmm1lk]

Hi again!!! Could you do a M!reader x bakugou Where does Bakugou find out he's gay? he never worried about sexualities, and after meeting the reader he discovered that he liked guys and started ignoring him for fear of being rejected 😭 but then at the end the reader admits that he is pansexual and is in love with Bakugou and has a fluff ending!!!

les gooooo im so happy im getting so many requests tbh--

characters: Bakugo

reader: Male

summary: every since Y/n walked into that class bakugo immediately knew he hated(fell in love with) him.

warnings: coming out, swearing, hinted shinkami

other details: bakugo being in denial about being in the closet, Pan!reader, fluff, confession.

les gooo

(hope you dont mind the headcannon format! trying to get through my requests and headcannons make it easier :') )

-this man fell head over heels for you the second you stepped in the door. you could feel his face heating up just at the sight.

-of course, like any other person bakugos first thought was, "Oh I probably fucking hate this guy if I'm reacting like this right?"

-no.

-you both got to know each other better due to being paired up in training a lot.

-bakugo was honestly annoyed with himself to learn he didn't hate you, he wanted to be "friends"

-yep.

-he swears just friends.

-you two hung out a lot, mostly with the others.

-others being; Kirishima, denki, sero, and Mina, yknow the group.

-the topic of Bakugo possibly having a crush didn't pop up until a bit after school one day. Bakugo was forcibly dragged along with the rest of the group to go to a restaurant together.

-kaminari was ranting about some purple-haired mind controller he was crushing on.

-bakugo didn't think much of it until Mina pointed out one thing.

-"You know, the way you talk about shinsou and what you guys do together sounds awfully a lot like Bakugo and Y/N..."

-"Wait! You're totally right! bakugo do you like him?!"

-"he totally likes him!"

-they were both met with a small explosion of anger and almost real explosions to the face.

-"im not gay!"

-everyone just kinda stared at him in disbelief for a second.

-finally, sero actually spoke up to break the silence.

-"Wait... youre not...?"

-ultiple explosions were fired causing the group to get kicked from the store.

-once they got back to the dorms bakugo immediately shut himself into his room.

-he was intending to actually sleep but his mind was clouded purely with thoughts of You..

-he actually began questioning himself.

-the next day bakugo couldn't keep his brain from focusing on you.

-he noticed every time you spoke, sighed, yawned, walked, breathed, he was way too focused.

-he tried to keep his mind off of you.

-it was all fine until kirishima was trying to talk to him.

-'bakugo you're listening right?"

-"..."

-"bakugo?"

-"..."

-"hey man--- you good-?"

-it took a few moments before kirishima looked to see what bakugo was so focused on.

-Y/N.

-he was staring you down.

-"ohhhhh, yknow, I'm starting to think Mina and kaminari were right-"

-somehow that out of everything snapped bakugo out of his thoughts.

-"I don't like him!"

-kirishima stiffled a laugh

-"Uh-huh, sureeeee you don't."

-bakugo had a weird look on his face as he turned back to look at you.

-his ears turned a bright red when you noticed him staring and smiled slightly in his direction.

-kirishima looked between you two for a moment.

-"okay kaminari and mina were definitely right."

-"For the last time shitty hair- Im not gay!'

-class a was lucky with how high quality these desks were, otherwise, bakugos would have been burnt to a crisp with that explosion that came out of his hands.

-bakugos small fit of yelling caught a lot of students' attention, usually they ignored bakugos rants but this one seemed to interest a few.

-"uh-huh."

-"I- why are you looking at me like that! go die."

-he shoved past kirishima leaving the room.

-you assumed he had left for the dorms.

-you learned just how wrong you were when you left the classroom and immediately someone grabbed your hand dragging you to a slightly secluded area behind the school.

-"...bakugo?'

-he didn't reply and shoved you against the wall. you could feel your face heat up at the position but then you realised Bakugo's expression.

-he was pissed

-like, if you don't run then just pray for your survival pissed.

-"The hell is with your quirk!? it's making me feel all weird these past few months!"

-"Bakugo the hell are you talking about--"

-"Your quirk dumbass! it-- it's making me feel all these weird emotions whenever I look at you- i- it makes me feel warm in shit! like- like I actually like you! So tell me! What the hell is your quirk!?"

-you didn't know whether to laugh or confess at this point.

-"Bakugo- my quirk is (quirk), which is very much not related to what you're feeling--"

-you could see bakugos whole face flush red.

-yet for once he didnt look mad, he looked almost embarrassed.

-his mind was racing with thoughts realizing; "oh shit I'm actually gay."

-there was a very long awkward pause. you could see Bakugo's thoughts racing purely in his expression.

-after almost a minute he finally spoke up.

-"Then.. go out with me dumbass."

-What he said caught you by surprise, your face heating up at these words.

-"Wait what--

-"I said go out with me! Are you deaf or just not interested!?"

-"I mean I am interested... just- a little surprised that's all."

-he pulled away so you weren't shoved against the wall anymore.

-"It's late as hell- let's get back to the dorms."

-"Ah! right-"

-"Of course someone like you is gay."

-"I'm pan.. but- close enough I guess."

-"What the hell does that mean?!"

-not only did you learn about Bakugo's feelings towards you. you also learned he had no clue about the large list of sexualities outside of gay and straight.

ngl struggles once again, mainly with the confession part

[idolomantises]

talking abt that one thing in velma thats on my mind a lot for the past few days (that turned into a big incoherent rambling about gay rep in media)

i'm seeing jokes about how the queer representation in mystery inc being so much better than the queer representation in velma and honestly it makes me want to go on a whole tangent about my thoughts on queer representation nowadays vs the more subtle examples decades prior.

There's this weird debate that goes on online about what is "good" queer representation, and one of the most notable and honestly annoying examples is that queer representation has to be so subtle that you could easily miss it/ignore it. i've always hated that take because its a claim mostly said by straight people who are uncomfortable with seeing characters who are openly queer and/or state their identity, but they present it as some sort of push for subtle and nuanced writing. personally i do prefer it when a character just, identifies as how they are without explaining their identity, but that doesn't mean flat out explaining your orientation is inherently bad representation. its why i will always defend the very clunky and awkward high guardian spice scene. it is absolutely poorly directed and written, but that doesn't make it "bad representation". however, I do consider the character who explains that he's trans bad representation because he is flat, uninteresting and very clearly a creator self insert. he doesn't feel like a well rounded character who's also a trans man, but just an incredibly sanitized example of trans representation.

i have many, many issues with helluva boss/hazbin hotel and i do genuinely find some depictions of queer characters just flat out offensive (you can argue with me about how angel dust being written like your average 90s gay stereotype is woke actually because he has trauma, i dont care), but i do admire and appreciate that the series doesn't want to sanitize its queer characters, even if its done poorly. though i could go into a whole rant about how i find it very telling that female characters that are queer are far less sexualized or allowed to be problematic compared to their queer male counterparts.

anyways back to velma. that show does something that i've always found pretty irritating in queer representation which is just this weird lack of faith in its audience. characters can't have a slow burn anymore. internalized thoughts, anger, frustration, longing. you have to immediately know that two characters are gay for each other, even if they're lifelong enemies. its like when modern horror movies open with the gore because they're scared people are going to be bored or leave early. there's no subtlety or chemistry between daphne and velma, they're just lovers because idk, its two girls who hate each other and who doesn't love that.

then i think about how mystery inc handled velma and her sexuality, how she was allowed to be well rounded and nuanced before you slowly realize that "oh, she doesn't like boys". i know her whole thing with shaggy is controversial among fans but i always loved how she does do something pretty unlikable but not immoral. yeah, it is shitty to force shaggy to choose between her and his dog, but i can understand her line of thinking and empathize with her. and i do like how they become friends in the end despite their awkward break up. It's always fun rewatching it and realizing that their incredibly awkward and cringe relationship was meant to be awkward and cringe. it was supposed to be weird and difficult to watch, because those two weren't meant to date each other. you could see how hard velma was trying to make the relationship work despite the fact that you never get the vibe that either character was full invested in it, unlike daphne and fred's relationship.

then you had velma and her relationship with marcie, which started off as sort of a catty rivalry (not full on attempted murder, i mean holy shit hbo velma) that slowly grows to where you're completely convinced that these two did gradually like each other. and i do really enjoy stuff like that, more subtle writing like that. which doesn't just apply to queer rep btw, my favorite ships are relationships that feel understated, something you have to really dig for and pay attention to. its why i consider bubbline the best f/f representation in cartoon. because its subtle, but not too subtle where it feels out of no where when they kiss, and nuanced in ways that enhances the relationship AND characters.

there's a good amount of relationships i see in cartoons where the creator, who is usually queer themselves, often wants to depict queer relationships, but is weirdly adverse to depicting the uglier aspects of that character, and refuses to add subtlety to it. steven universe is a show i've always felt conflicted on its handling of queer representation because on the one hand i appreciate writing lesbians that are messy, traumatized and make constant mistakes. but on the other hand, the show goes out of its way to ignore these issues and/or make excuses for it, making the decision to make these characters messy and complicated genuinely baffling (this is also one of the big issues i have with catradora and stolitz).

it makes me think back to my own work too. i really enjoy making fluffy, easily digestible gay content for my followers and myself because it puts me in a good headspace. But even now and then i like exploring those little nuances too, because i don't really enjoy stories with little conflict. Because of that acknowledgement of how satisfying it is to write fluffy, queer rep, you end up putting yourself in other creator's shoes. you're so used to media that either dehumanizes gay people or tells people that they don't exist that you push yourself to make the most in your face queer rep you can but its at the cost of an interesting and subtle characters. characters that don't really have arcs or places to learn and grow.

With bugtopia i made a joke about how i want some of my queer rep to feel like you're being queerbaited. It's not literal, obviously, but mixed in with characters who are already married and in same gender relationships, i really want to write dynamics that feel subtle enough for a bit of a slow burn. even if you know they're going to end up together, to at least value the characters on their own before centering them on their relationships. queerbaiting is something that deserves all the criticism it can get, but it is embarrassing when queerbaiting feels genuinely more interesting than actual queer rep because queerbaiting has that factor of "maybe they won't get together" that adds that bit of intrigue, vs so many shows that repeatedly hammer in your head "don't worry guys, they're gonna be lesbian lovers".

mystery inc (and many other shows) being forced to keep a relationship obvious while subtle to get through censorship really forced creators to be creative with their storytelling and not center characters around their relationship and identity. but nowadays i think shows like to take the easy way out. for me, i always thought the most impactful example of queer representation in steven universe is "Rose's Scabbard". I genuinely don't enjoy that episode because it's a good example of the show thinking that trauma is an excuse for shitty behavior, but i cant deny that an entire episode of pearl breaking down and finally accepting that she wasn't the center of rose's world. it's the crew being forced to be creative and push through censors to telling a compelling story about a traumatized lesbian slowly realizing that she basically deluded herself into thinking she was someone's savior.

I think it's silly to try to place good queer representation in one box. like subtle queer rep is good, but also queer rep where a character flat out states that their gay. where I think it falls apart is when it either reinforces stereotypes without properly deconstructing or expanding on them, makes the characters so overly kind and non-controversial that the relationship is just boring, or try to make your messy and complicated characters but the narrative refuses to hold them accountable or at least acknowledge that they're doing something wrong. and to clarify on that last part, i'm not asking for some hays code nonsense where every bad person goes to prison and/or promises to stop being a bad person again. i mean the narrative doesnt just fucking sugarcoat their behavior. i don't want to see helluva boss ignore the fact that stolas made blitzo call him out for only using him for sex and then pathetically rush to justify their relationship by giving them a bizarrely sanitized and sweet backstory. and i don't want to see catra literally end the fucking universe and only do something good because she's straight up out of options and the show just decides that that was her redemption and she doesn't need to do anything to atone for what she did (including repeatedly abusing and verbally berating adora).

anyways velma has none of those interesting qualities and i'm pretty sure daphne and velma kissed because the creator is a weird pervert who thinks two girls kissing is hot.

[y-vna]

Just so it's clear, one of my big dni crits is this:

TW: My rant includes HEAVY topics of ed (eating disorders) and intentionally starving yourself/unhealthy weight loss 🙁.

This post is also ULTRA long, will definitely contain grammar and spelling mistakes, and I'm not going to say 100% everything here is accurate information, as I'm a human and I make mistakes too.

Let me get this clear, I dont mean anyone harm with this post. My intention isn't to hate or attack/hurt anyone to make them feel upset. I know that having an ed is a serious matter. I have friends and family who actively have/had these kinds of eds, so im not uneducated on this subject and I do understand it to a very in-depth degree. This is not to say I know everything about this topic, however.

It is definitely not easy to recover from, and lots of people struggle from it every day. I am NOT saying people with this disorder are any less human than anyone else. I'm saying it's toxic for those who do have it since it actually harms your body a lot, and pushing it on others (not the fact you have it in the first place) is something I don't support.

So respectfully, if you do support/promote eds as a positive thing, or are/follow/interact with blogs who do, BLOCK ME AND DNI. thank you.

I love everyone for who they are inside, regardless of what their body looks like. And I'm telling you right now, as someone who tried so hard to have a perfect body and stop eating bc im super insecure, it's not worth it, and it makes you feel so shitty. I love you, whoever is reading this, no matter what. So please don't change who you are just to make others happy :( <3

--

So I was looking thru tumblr, and this one post kept getting shown to me where people were talking about basically the idea of: "its worth it to keep losing that undesired weight, you'll see results soon" as like a motivational thing. The tags (straight up tells you it's supposed to be inspo to becoming skinny and supports the idea having an ed is the only way to get a dream bod), and their whole blog had ed encouragement/motivation. To keep...starving, i guess.?? Despite their user being about being strong and healthy, nothing about this is healthy or keeps your body strong.

I didn't decide to write a whole rant about just that part of the post because I didn't start getting super concerned until i read the notes/comments (since i had seen a lot of these 'tw : ed' blogs before already). What I saw was that tons of users were promoting starving yourself as a goal and a good thing, and basically glorifying having an ed. And also using kpop idols with skinny and perfect figures like wonyoung to tell others that (almost a literal direct quote from this user-) 'us ed people don't want to be helped and we won't stop starving ourselves until we reach the weight we want.'

"You see it as negativity cause you're not disordered." KEEP IN MIND THE PERSON THEY'RE TALKING TO USED TO ACTUALLY HAVE AN ED (the screenshot below is the person they were talking to). I understand you can't push people to get help if they don't want it, but you have to draw a line when you start saying that every person with ed doesn't want help, which just isnt true. I looked at their blog, and it was all just calculating how many calories they ate and burned every day. Most of the posts they basically only totaled 300 calories a day. THAT IS SUPER SICK ☹️. An average human needs like 2000+ calories a day. It actively influences people to copy them by posting and blogging this SUPER unhealthy weight loss. It IS NOT positive on any level. It does nothing good for you. You won't feel any happier when you look in the mirror if all you can feel is pure hunger because you won't give your body what it needs. This is so sad to me because all the comments had people trying to ask how to start starving themselves, and every blog I clicked on all had ed triggers on their posts and bios. Some of those blogs were saying NOT to become like them because they can't see themselves recovering now that they're in too deep.

As said by people online who actually had and got through having an ed, they have explained it is very unhealthy and they were glad to recover. So even though I do not have an ed, and you might think I shouldn't be "judging" people who have them, there are plenty of formerly ed diagnosed people who know the bad effect it has on others/had on them because they can accurately relate. You can still educate people on a subject even if you yourself do not have to suffer from it/have it, as long as you're doing it properly with proven facts (literally all credible research you do anywhere backed by science and experts will prove eds aren't healthy). People educate themselves to teach others about other illnesses, ongoing or past wars in history, etc, they don't have firsthand experience with/from. And they can still be just as valid sometimes.

My whole point here is that on tumblr and so many other social media platforms, I keep seeing people (posts like this and whole blogs centered around this stuff,) encouraging (mainly young) girls to stop eating altogether to have a body that society and other people are more satisfied with. That's why, for a while, I also tried to do the same because of the people saying it was a positive thing to gain a bad relationship with food and start counting your calories to be perfect. I'm also someone who struggles with body image and being shamed for gaining weight. But at some point hou need to realize hurting your body and mental state is SO WRONG. NOBODY is perfect. So don't push you or anyone else to be. I learned this, and I get its super hard to ignore the judgment forced onto you by society and your surroundings, but there will be people who appreciate you just how you are now. Like me.

So with all that said, the moral here is:

Don't starve urself (on purpose. Bc some people genuinely have trouble eating and starve themselves non intentionally. I have friends who do this 😭)

You're perfect how u are now without being as slim as your idols (and even K-pop idols don't tell others usually to be like them because they know that their companies forcing them to strictly control their weight isn't something they want fans to look up to).

Don't force (potential) ed on others

Don't encourage unhealthy relationship with your body and food

I do support people with eds, as long as they aren't trying to make it something others should look up to, and aspire to have.

If you are someone who wants to normalize having an ed as healthy or positive, please do not interact with this blog and feel free to block me :(

Thank you for reading, have a good day and ily for whoever is reading this. 💗💖💓💕

[bbyquokka]

a garden of flowers

– in which yn gets a special tattoo !!

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | hwang hyunjin x gender-neutral reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | fluff – 18+ is strongly advised!

𝐂𝐖 | platonic relationship, trans masc reader (FTM), tattoo artist hyunjin, top surgery scars – if i have labelled anything incorrectly/missed warnings pls lmk!

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 | 1.5k ~ ( 1,514 )

𝐀/𝐍 | i got sent a video a while ago (i cant find it now, sad) so i wrote a lil something that was inspired by the video. don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. curious as to what is next? here is my wips list! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

m.list — you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

“hi. i heard you do specific tattooing.” you smile at the employer. he looks up at you, tattoos decorating his muscular arms and fingers, pierced nose and lip with a stretched ear. he smiles at you warmly and nods.

“that's us! each employee does specific art and tattooing as well as piercings. anything you want in particular?”

“i don't have an idea for the design per say but i have a relatively big scar that i want incorporated into the tattoo.”

the employee hums and nods as he listens to you, soaking up all the information. his curly hair falling in front of his eyes which causes him to have to push his hair back every five seconds, revealing an eyebrow piercing and a small face tattoo above the brow that you didn't notice at first glance.

“and where is the scar, if i might ask?”

“my chest.”

“ok! we have the perfect employee for that. give me a sec.” you nod, thanking him as you watch him walk to the back room, jumping as his loud voice bellows out through the store.

“hyunjin! customer for ya!!”

“jesus changbin! do you have to shout?” the man named hyunjin comes out of the back room, rubbing his temples. hair long and dyed black with streaks of red. half up, half down. eyeliner lining his lower water line, septum pierced and a few tattoos dotted on his skin. “you're going to scare the customers.”

“please. they love it when i shout.” changbin smirks and winks cheekily, causing hyunjin to blush faintly and gently push him. “and i know you do too. you love it when i’m vocal.”

“fuck you, binnie.” 

“you wish.” 

hyunjin rolls his eyes before approaching you. he clears his throat before extending out his hand to shake.

“hello. i'm hyunjin.”

“hey hyunjin. i'm yn.”

“so yn, tell me about this tattoo design?”

“well, i don't have an idea per day but i do have a scar across my chest that i want to incorporate.” hyunjin nods.

“well, you've come to the right store. i specialize in tattoos that are centred around scars whether that be cover ups or something else. if you don't mind, i would like to brainstorm some ideas with you and do a few doodles.”

“sounds perfect!” you grin.

“great. right this way.”

hyunjin and you spend an hour or so brainstorming ideas. you showed him your chest scar, specifically telling hyunjin what you’ve visioned, however, you want the end design to be a surprise to you. you were a  little worried about showing hyunjin your scar but, much to your relief, he didn't judge. in fact, it seemed like he didn't care at all.

“can i ask you a personal question?” hyunjin asks as he drags the tattoo needle along your chest. you wince a little in pain, taking a few deep breaths before speaking. 

“go ahead.” hyunjin wipes away the ink with some tissue before returning back to tracing the outline.

“how did you get this scar?”

“top surgery.” 

“oh! i see. how was that?”

“fucking scary but so so worth it.”

“oh really?”

“yes. to wake up from surgery to look down and see that my boobs have gone, was a huge relief to me.”

“how was it? the whole process and whatnot?”

“lonely.”

“lonely? why?” hyunjin's eyebrows furrow together.

“ever since i told my friends and family that i'm transgender, they just left.”

“that's pretty shitty of them.”

“well, people fear what they don't know. knowledge is power and when people are met with something that's unknown or unfamiliar to them, they run away in fear because they don't understand. i would have happily educated them but… yeah.”

“how did you know that you’re trans? sorry if this is too personal by the way. please stop me if i'm overstepping.” you laugh softly and shake your head.

“no, it's ok. honestly, i wish more people like you would ask.” you look up at the ceiling as hyunjin tattoos you. “i guess i've always known from such an early age but because i was young, i didn't understand why i wasn't like all the other girls that were interested in dolls and make-up and disney princesses.”

“what were you interested in?”

“the standard boy stuff. diy, football, mud, eating worms. i liked shorts and t-shirts, not dresses and ballet shoes. as i got older though, i understood a lot more. told my parents and they told me it was just a phase. well, they made me believe it was just a phase.”

“fuck. that's rough..”

“well, the whole process has been rough. months and months of waiting to be seen by doctors. appointments after appointments. a huge waiting list just for T. and to top it off, mental health issues.”

“i assume knowing you're in the wrong body fucks with your mind; to put it politely of course.” you laugh and nod your head.

“pretty much, yes. looking in the mirror and seeing that my hair and face was changing, y'know facial hair and my voice getting deeper was good but then when i strip naked, look down and see i have boobs and a vagina, it's just heartbreaking. it takes a toll on your mind.”

“why do you want me to incorporate the scar instead of covering it?”

“because i'm not ashamed of it. it's part of my journey. i want to show it off and, even though i do miss my breasts in a weird way, i'm proud of myself for making it this far and for being strong. i'll never be ashamed or hide who i am now because i've spent years hiding and feeling ashamed.”

“i like you yn. you're strong and know what you want in life.”

“thank you, hyunjin. it means a lot to me.” you smile softly at him as he grins at you, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“so, are you done now? with your breasts gone and whatnot?”

“maybe. maybe not. i've been debating about bottom surgery but it costs twice as much as top and well, it's a whole new thing to get used to. i'm completely transforming my intimate area for something new and unknown. in a way, yes i do want bottom surgery but i know i'll be alone during the process.”

“i'll come with you.”

“what..?”

“i'll come with you. i'll hold your hand and be there for you, whether you decide to do it or not.”

“hyunjin, we barely know each other. you're a tattoo artist that’s tattooing my chest.”

“ok. and? i like you yn. platonically of course however, i can't deny this strong connection that pulls me to you. hearing your story, i want to protect you and be the friend that you've always wanted and deserved. you shouldn't have to face something that's this big alone.”

“it's just surgery, hyunjin..”

“yes but it's a major thing to you so you deserve to have someone there by your side. to have a familiar face to wake up to.”

“and if i don't decide on the surgery?”

“then i still want to be that familiar face to wake up to.”

“hyunjin, i–”

“look–” hyunjin turns the tattooing machine off and looks at you. “whether you decide to get bottom surgery or not doesn't make you any less of a person. you're still you and you should look back on all the great achievements and be proud. masculinity shouldn't tackle or dominate you, you dominate masculinity besides, gender is fluid these days so be what you want to be. just as long as you are happy, healthy and comfortable then who gives a shit.”

tears roll down your cheeks slowly. you wipe them away with the back of your hand as you sniffle, hyunjin smiling softly at you before finishing up the tattoo.

“thank you.. i needed that.”

“we all need that extra love, regardless.”

a comfortable silence falls upon you both. the buzzing sound of the machine tattooing your skin being the only thing ringing in your ears. one hour later and hyunjin turns off the machine before gently wiping the extra ink off your skin.

“ready! want to see it?”

“fuck yes!” hyunjin laughs before standing up. you follow suit, following him to the full length mirror.

you gasp in awe and shock as you look at your new chest tattoo. flowers of various shapes and sizes decorated in a line along your scar. butterflies and bees for that extra touch and design. 

“holy fuck.. thank you. thank you so so much hyunjin. i love it.” tears well in your eyes before falling down your cheeks. hyunjin laughs softly, his own eyes welling up.

“ah fuck, now you've got me started.” you both laugh as you wipe away tears. hyunjin wraps up your chest tattoo and tells you about aftercare. 

as you gather your belongings and walk to the door, you turn on your heel and give hyunjin a gentle and genuine smile

“thank you for today, hyunjin. it's nice to know i have someone to lean on in the future.”

[red-apples-stuff]

Moving on...

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers

Pair: Kokonoi Hajime x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst. That's all.

Short Summary: He didn't accepted your love in time. And two years later, it was too late. You moved on.

Note: I wanted to do it with happy ending... I didn't succeed...

Note 2: It came out a bit... shitty...? I know that. I've redone it so many times cuz the ideas I wanted to go for didn't work with my brain at all... Also, I'm for any mistakes, I overlooked everything in this story already, if there are more mistakes, no there aren't.

----------------⚠️MAY CONTAIN MANGA SPOILERS⚠️---------------

"I'm sorry, but I dont feel the same way..." he says as he has an apologetic look in his eyes, but what you've missed to see is the way his eyes are also filled with pain and guilt from the past.

"Oh... That's ok. Just forget what I said..." trying your best to contain your tears from spilling out, so Koko won't see the fact that this hurts more than it should. "I'll just go then." and with that, you take your leave without looking back, tears finally staining the cheeks as you swallow your sobs.

Koko eyes never leaves your figure as you silently walk away and dissapear in distance. It's his fault that he can't accept the love that you have for him. It's his fault that he can't get over what happened in the past with the girl he loved so dearly... And it's his fault for what happened to her in the first place, because he couldn't save her. The mistake he accidentaly did took that girl's life. And he's to blame for.

At leats that's what he feels inside. That's why he couldn't accept anyone else's love. He feels like she will hate him if he doesn't do anything in his power to bring her back to life, even if it's impossible. He feels like if he gather all the money he needs, he will still be able to help her. And most of all, he feels guilty for moving on from her to love another person. Even so, that didn't stopped him from falling for you...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kokonoi needed Inupi and two years to finally wake up to reality and to get over the past, and most importantly, to admit his feelings for you, that never left his heart, and also to accept your love.

But now the issue is that he doesn't know if you are still willing to give him the same love you were about to in the past. Because there are two years distance since he lied about his feelings and rejected you. Two years since he hurted you and watched as you were walking away almost choking with sobs. Two years since you both intentionally started avoiding each other. Two years since he last heard of you.

Koko is still willing to try at least and talk with you. So for the past few days he gathered all of the courage he could, and showed up to your apartament. He knew that you still lived in the same place. He knew you didn't moved out. Inupi informed him, so knew he didn't got the wrong apartament... But still, there was a stranger in your house when the door was opened at his knock.

A man he never saw in his entire life before, he was standing right there, right in front of him. Hundreds of thoughts started running inside Koko's head. Who is he? Did you moved out and Inupi was just trying to mess with him for being an asshole in the past? No, it couldn't be it. He then soon realized... You moved on. The man that is in view right now it's your boyfriend. For how long? Koko has no idea. But he now knows that there's no chance of you still loving him. He could feel the courage he build up for days, evaporating, leaving him all lost in his mind.

"Do you need something?" the man asks, finally getting Koko snapping out of his thoughts. "My love, is everything ok?" this is your voice ringing from inside the kitchen, calling out for this man. Calling him your love.

"Yeah! Just give me a moment!" your boyfriend calls back, before looking again at Kokonoi with a questioning look.

"No... I don't need anything... Sorry for bothering you..." Koko take some steps back, ready to leave, but then, you are coming outside your house, wondering what is taking your boyfriend so long. The person in front of you made you freeze on the spot.

Seeing him, Kokonoi Hajime, the man who you've tried to avoid for so long, staying now in front of your door, is making your heart drop in your stomach. Is making you feel sick.

Finally, cleaning your throat, you take a look at the man beside you. "Babe, could you give us a moment? I... I know him." giving both of you a puzzled look, he nods, getting inside.

"I'm sorry..." taking a deep breath, Koko continues "I know I made a mistake two years ago. I finally realized it and wanted to come and apologize... And to return the feelings. But I see that I've came way too late." he takes a look at your silent figure staying in front of him, not knowing what to say anymore. Those eyes of yours he loves, are filled with so much pain, making him hate himself for hurting you in the first place.

You have so much to say to Kokonoi, but you don't know how... You wanted to scream at him right now, but instead, you took a deep breath, calming yourself, to not cause a scene with your family still being inside the house. "Yeah. You came too late. And I think it would've been better if you didn't came at all... You lied about your feelings, and now, after two years, when I got over it, you appear in front of my door, saying you love me..." tears starts streaming down your face once again " Please, go away. Never come back."

"I-... Ok." finally turning on his heels, Koko looks at you one more time. "At least does he treats you better than I did? I hope you are loved and happy with him." you nod as you look at him leaving. "I'm happy for you then..." and with that, he walks away.

You watch as he dissappeared in the distance, the same way he did when you got rejected.

...Another big mistake has been made by Kokonoi, and another person he lost.

Now, not only did he lost the girl he loved in his childhood, but he also lost you... His best friend, his support, the new found, yet also lost, lover...

Even though he lost a person he truly love, again, he is glad at least that death didn't took you away as well. You will still be able to live a happy life, with the man you now love. Even if the man isn't Kokonoi...

And now. He'll try to move on from you, exactly like he did with her... and try to forget about you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[akkkkollle]

ty for writing my requests it was v good esp the chifuyu one this is another request if you dont mind

pro hero au

a bakugo that has a massive crush on us and reader being a big ass flirt with everyone (esp izuku) gets him really jealous so one day after reader openly flirts with izuku on an interview bakugo shows up at readers house trying to prove he's better than shitty deku

sloppy sex yeah?

add or remove anything :)

-🏃

Pairing: Bakugou × M!Reader.

Cw: Bakugou is a virgin who has seen enough porn and thinks he is a professional, sex without preparation, teasing, praise, hints for the next round, very hasty writing (?).

Oh, my God, how you infuriated him. Your eternal flirting, teasing... But not in his direction, how strange. You were flirting with everyone, you could just walk up to a person and compliment him and leave. But not to him. You've never flirted with him, barely talked to him. That's why he loves you. Oh, he hates it, yes. But the most important thing is this Deku.

You've always flirted with him most of the time. And more relaxed, and he just blushed, and stammered thanks or answered. How infuriating his face is during this. Bakugo also wants to experience flirting from you, but what he just didn't try to do... You just don't want to notice him, damn it. But he held on until this moment.

A few days ago, people came to you to take an interview, as graduates. It's not enough that part of it has been completely cut out, so it's you who occupy most of it... You flirting with Izuku. He was ready to literally call in right there. He immediately left his room, heading to yours. He opens your door and is surprised that it's not closed, but he doesn't care.

- Bakugou? Did you want something? - you ask, lying on the bed and looking at the ceiling.

He climbed into your lap, immediately grabbing your lips in a kiss, to which you immediately responded.

- What the hell, huh? Why do you never flirt with me, but only with this... With that green bastard. Why, eh!? - he says, grabbing you by the shoulders.

- I don't know, maybe on purpose? Who knows. - you say, shrugging your shoulders and smiling.

Bakugo's hands take off his shorts, exposing an already hard cock that you stare at in surprise.

- No, of course I know that you like me, but you know... When you get a boner just because I'm flirting with Izuku, it's weird. - you mumble, pulling off your trousers too.

- You should only flirt with me! - he shouts, hovering over your cock and lowering himself before you could say anything to him.

His eyes open wide, a moan of pain escapes from his throat, and a few tears run down his face. You grab his face and point it in your direction, showering him with kisses.

- Well, who sits down so abruptly? Have you reviewed porn? - to which he just nods. - They were originally prepared there, asshole.

You kiss his face while your hands massage his thighs until you begin to notice that he twitches because of the touch. You push his face away from you, to which he hisses with displeasure and you look at him in anticipation.

He swallows before getting up and down on your cock with a loud moan. Its walls immediately squeezed you, which made you hiss. His fingers slide over your chest, leaving red marks behind them, while his hips come into contact with your thighs with thudding slaps.

- Flirt with me! - he moans lasciviously, throwing his head back. - I'm no worse than this Deku.

- Are your parents chemists by any chance? - his eyes widen and he hisses, "Not like that, idiot," you're just laughing. - Well, what should I say? You accept me so well, you know? Even without preparation, so nice and handsome, jumping on me.

A darker shade of red begins to cover his cheeks as your words fall from your lips. Finally, what he had been waiting for for so long. He was ready to swear that he almost came just from that.

- Damn it! I-I'm better than that idiot, right? - he moans, feeling how your cock pleasantly enters his walls.

- Of course you're better. You're my gorgeous boy.

-.. mine? - he accelerates his thrusts, even if they lose strength and pace, but he is about to cum, and he does it, losing strength in his hands and falling on your chest.

- My, my boy. Go to sleep, don't worry about me, okay? - you say, carefully taking your cock out of his hole, but he stops your hand.

- We're not done. And if I'm yours now... Consider it your wedding night. - having said that, he turns you over, so now you are on top, and your dick is standing right in front of his hole...

[mikey-soft]

What songs do you associate ur resigns with? Are they different than the canon cast? I hope you don't mind if I keep asking I'm excited <333

wait omg dont even worried my favorite thing to do on earth is to answer questions im lovin it GVWBHJNS ohhhoggh.... song.s.. i looove music and i love association hold on oh my lrod !!! this is gonna be a huge post !!! oopsie !!!! also, note: alastor. is. obviously my favorite. and i do have a little playlist for him which i will post right after this

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv charlie -- my idea of heaven, annette hanshaw

i think this one is such a given ... it s so obvious .......but so true

vaggie -- why, lily allen (not on spotify :()

UGHH TGHE YEARNING IN THIS SONG its gentle and soft and slow and it juxtaposes vaggies "fronting" personality soo nicely UGH angel -- perhaps, perhaps, perhaps , desi arnaz

heavy on huskerdust but thats okay because i loooove this song . sweet and loving and oh so passionate and AHH !!!! angel deserves to be lovey dovey

husk -- sir duke, stevie wonder

definitely a bit headcanon-y on this one,,! but i wanted to give husk a hobby he's real passionate about and i just had to give him music.... a bartender cant work with a shitty playlist!! and i just cant NOT associate him with mr wonder if im being honest

alastor (favorite character syndrome) -- feeling good, nina simone

i could put so many songs here but i chose feeling good because alastor feels good!!!!! i love this song so so much and i think he would too!! cant go wrong with nina simone

niffty -- it's a good day, peggy lee

oh joyus day for our darling niffty !! this song is such a delight and i can imagine her humming to it while she works...,, it is a good day!!! shes so right !!!!!! SHE GETS TWO!!!!! candy, atarashii gakko

无意识に私食べちゃった !!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS SONG !! its so silly and a little nonsense and i thinkk if she ever got into modern music she would like ag :3 sir pentious -- twist the knife, that handsome demon

this one is a little silly.... but my past associations with this song made me give it to pent <3 i just think it fits my version of him!

vox -- don't say yes until i finish talking, SMASH

okay this is kind of a given but its not my fault christian borle has one character type (im kidding this is a joke mostly i love him) BUT ITS JUST VERY VOX !!! and also the rest of my associations are very radiosilence WHOOPS

rosie -- the end of the world, skeeter davis

i love her dearly and i can imagine she adores longing songs like these!!!! theres not much else to it..... just something i feel in my bones or something

these are all just ones i've thought of before!!! so clearly its not Every Single character !

[strozzaprete]

hi. i feel so awfully bad and i need somewhere to vent and im so sorry to do it here but i need someone to just. tell me what to do or how to feel. this is pathetic and i apologize and you can always just dismiss this ask. sorry.

but, see, i'm in high school (already inherently bad) and i have no friends but my boyfriend. he is really an amazing dude and i know i shouldn't send this to quote unquote misandrist blogs but whatever. he is truly fantastical, somehow.

as i said, i have no friends, and it's been that way for... a good while, aka years. i've been bullied a considerable amount and my mind itself is not the prettiest landscape. i am frequently alone, constantly lonely, and rarely happy. my only relieves are my family (sometimes, not even always because it can be a very toxic environment too) and my aforementioned boyfriend.

he has helped all the way through my eating disorder and all other troubles - i don't self diagnose, but, just so you can get an idea, the BPD and depression type. we see each other every day at school. he is the only person i know i can always count on. the two only other people i sometimes talk with and laugh with, both girls ive known forever (been at this school since kinder), are often pretty mean and have no problem ignoring me when they want to. my boyfriend never does that. never has.

but now he is changing schools too because he also is having a shitty time without much friends. and i cannot change schools because of budget. but i simply don't know what to do without him every day in my life. i dont know who'll help me when ive been so down i cannot listen at all in class and cannot understand the work. i dont know who i'll sit with. i don't know how i'll have lunch all alone and feel this invading me again. he had helped me be calm so many many many times and now it's so gone and i'll be without anyone once more and i've been proven right that everyone ends up leaving me. he'll have a better life than me and i'll stay in this cursed place imprisoned while he is out meeting people so much better than me in all aspects. he swears by his mother he'll keep in contact and not fall for anyone else but how am i supposed to believe that when i am so inherently unloveable? why wasn't i enough for him to not leave? why does he leave when he can still hang out with me? why can i be able to endure having no friends, but he can't?

there's no way to convince him to stay, and i don't want to go around begging him and, even worse, affect his academic future, given he is going to a "better" school.

i'm so sorry. i send this to u because everyone else here on radblr is like. 30. and that'd be uncomfortable for both.

please remember u can just delete this. god. sorry again

i know this feels like the end of the world right now but it'll pass. i've even graduated postgrad now but i haven't finished high school that long ago really, and for the first couple of years it was basically the same for me – minus the boyfriend lmao. i know it sucks. teenagers were fucking horrible in my time so i can't even imagine what they're like in 2024. i am so sorry you're in this rut right now but remember that even if it feels so far away high school will eventually finish! it'll be so liberating, and it'll be easier to find people you actually want to spend time with, especially if you continue your studies.

it pains me that you're putting so much importance on a single person who is not you. the only piece of advice i can really give you is to try to get to know yourself a bit more, and get to the root of your discomfort – you're not inherently unlovable, your life experience might have lead you to integrate that into your belief system because it's a normal reaction to the bullying. i know it's easy to say and hard to do but you must learn how to be comfortable with yourself because at the end of the day you're the person you're going to spend your entire life with. your personality will shine through and the people who are right for you will eventually find you. (fuck those mean "friends"! you deserve better)

you're young so i know everything is so intense for you right now, and i understand, honestly i usually don't respond to anons like these cause idk if i'm equipped to give real advice, but really i was an infamously shy weirdo loner and everything gradually got so much better towards and after the end of high school and now i'm literally unrecognizable lmao while the "cool" people in my class stayed the same... and they were only really "cool" in high school. this entire post sounds like a cliché i know lmao but it all changed once i realized that these people ain't shit... but i am lmao. because i slowly got to know myself, figured out what i liked doing more than anything else (listen to music), and specifically because i told myself so. i started standing up for myself against some things that i wasn't okay with, like bullying (and for a considerable amount of times i was bullied by teachers lmao). and i wasn't always successful but it helped build my character in the long run. i also stopped reacting to stuff that was going wrong by being self-deprecating or making suicidal jokes, even if they were just in my head, and replacing them with some flavor of "i can't wait for this moment to pass/high school to finish". it sounds stupid but it really works. and it gives you something to look forward to. i really wish you the best

[snowisfallen]

Walls Could Talk

A shitty late night drabble about Coriolanus and Abigail and their toxic relationship inspired by the lyrics of Walls Could Talk by Halsey :)

warnings: toxic relationship, mentions of a physical fight,

PSA:yall in all seriousness, if ur partner lays a hand on you thats not okay ever, dont let toxic hot fictional blonde men convince u otherwise pls

A/N: uh if yall hate this or think its shitty im sorry :(

Been about three days and I'm comin' back I'm about four minutes from a heart attack And I think you make me a maniac But you don't know, oh

It had been three days since Abigail’s last exchange with Coriolanus Snow. a dangerous dance between passion and turbulence, left her teetering on the edge of emotional chaos. The toxic nature of their connection manifested in frequent conflicts, transforming arguments into battlegrounds where the lines between love and frustration blurred. The prolonged silence between their fights heightened her sense of unease, amplifying the feeling of insanity and stirring a storm of doubt within. But it had been three days, she missed his touch, and he had said sorry. So she came back to him even though she felt crazy for forgiving so easily.

Two years and we in between But we both been here since we 17

This relationship had been on and off for two years now, and right now she wasn't quite sure where they stood. Were they together again, were they not together again? She was sure that they were together but she knew she shouldn't just assume. They had been together since they were 17, she couldn't imagine life without him, even if it meant she had to put up with things she would never dare mention out loud to her friends.

Here we go, fist fight in a limousine But they don't know

The atmosphere inside the limousine took an unexpected turn when Abigail realized Coriolanus was already drunk. Tensions escalated when she confronted him, and what began as a disagreement morphed into a heated confrontation, which then turned into a tumultuous fistfight. The confined space of the luxurious vehicle intensified the emotional storm, with emotions reaching a boiling point. Bruised and emotionally drained, they arrived at the party, and before exiting the limousine, they both straightened up and put smiles on their faces, pretending the past 10 minutes hadn’t happened as they walked into the party, acting like the perfect couple that everyone thought they were.

And we both hope there's something But we bo-both keep fronting And it's a closed discussion

It was unspoken between the two of them that the relationship should have ended long ago, yet they couldn't help but hold on to a love that had already expired. It was an undiscussed topic, whether they should finally call it quits or not, Both continuing to pretend that this tumultuous relationship wasn't hurting them. 

And I'm thinking, "Damn, if these walls could talk" Well, they'd be like "Shit is crazy, right?" I ain't your baby no more

As she navigated the charade at the party, she couldn't shake the weight of the truth lingering in the walls of the limousine. If those walls could talk, they would unveil the heartbreaking narrative etched into their fabric—the whispers of passionate arguments, the echoes of painful turmoil, and the silent witness to a relationship veering into the realm of the inexplicable. In those moments of pretend normalcy, Abigail was acutely aware that the walls, had they possessed a voice, would have screamed the undeniable truth: that the version of love she clung to was fading, and the person she once knew as hers was slipping away. The limousine, a silent witness to their private struggles, seemed to embody the emotional distance that had grown between them. The unspoken revelation echoed in her mind, painting a stark picture of a relationship that had become more a theater of chaos than a sanctuary of love. She called it off that night.

Been about two weeks since you went away I'm about halfway through a Cabernet There I go, I'm wastin' a Saturday Sittin' at home

Two weeks after the breakup, Abigail found herself immersed in solitude, halfway through a bottle of Cabernet, as she spent her Saturday evening at home. The echoes of the past lingered in the air, and the quietude of her surroundings mirrored the emotional stillness within. She grappled with the residual emotions of the breakup, contemplating the significance of the choices made. Saturday, once a canvas for shared moments, now became a canvas for self-reflection, a necessary pause in the narrative of a relationship that had both shaped and tested her resilience.

Told my new roommate not to let you in But you're so damn good with a bobby pin Now you gon' play me like a violin Hittin' these notes

Abigail warned her new roommate against letting Coriolanus in, going so far as to even change the locks but her attempt was thwarted as he skillfully picked the lock with a bobby pin and infiltrated her space. In the face of his unexpected appearance, he began on a desperate plea, apologizing profusely and weaving a narrative that resonated with her vulnerabilities. His words, a carefully crafted symphony of remorse and promises, struck a chord that resonated with Abigail's yearning for resolution and connection. Despite her initial resolve, Coriolanus managed to utter the right words, tapping into the emotional undercurrents that still bound them. In a moment of vulnerability, she found herself swayed, uttering a hesitant "yes" that, for a fleeting moment, seemed to hold the promise of a renewed chapter, even as the shadows of their turbulent history loomed in the background.

And we both hope there's something But we bo-both keep fronting And it's a closed discussion And I'm thinking, "Damn, if these walls could talk" Well, they'd be like "Shit is crazy, right?" 

As they attempted one last time to rekindle the relationship, they engaged in a subtle game of emotional concealment, each afraid to expose the depth of their feelings. The subject of their connection remained a closed discussion, unspoken but palpable in the air between them. As they navigated this fragile moment, Abigail couldn't help but ponder the profound insights the walls of her space might share if they could speak. The unspoken truths, the untold desires, and the echoes of their shared history reverberated within the confines of the room, creating an unspoken tension that lingered like a silent conversation, waiting for the right moment to be unveiled. She couldn't escape the unspoken messages she imagined the walls would convey. If only they could talk, they might whisper a stark truth she was hesitant to fully embrace – "That ain't your baby no more." The walls, silent witnesses to the tumultuous journey of her relationship with Coriolanus, seemed to echo the sentiment that the connection, once so intimately entwined, had now slipped through her grasp. The phrase lingered in the air, a haunting reminder of the transformative power of time and the irreversible changes that had reshaped the contours of their shared history. In the quietude of her thoughts, Abigail grappled with the weight of those unsaid words, questioning the nature of her evolving relationship and the path she was reluctantly navigating.

I ain't your baby no more  Hey! No more I ain't your baby no more

Abigail arrived at a poignant realization that resonated with the unspoken truths hanging in the air. No more, he wasn't hers anymore. The weight of that acknowledgment settled in her heart, carrying the bittersweet resonance of letting go. The walls, if they could articulate her sentiments, would echo the profound shift in the dynamics of their connection. In that moment of clarity, Abigail confronted the stark reality that the ties binding them had frayed irreversibly. The words lingered in her thoughts, a sobering admission that marked the beginning of a new chapter—a chapter where she grappled with the echoes of what once was, while navigating the uncharted territory of a future without him as hers.

[trials-of-a-spirit-worker]

Hey! Before i ask my question-

I just wanna say, I love your account, it has really helped me with my journey in witchcraft.

Now to the question:

I really need some help rn:

Some girl did me absoloutely DIRTY and spread lies about me, so im gonna put a hex on her. I know the most important stuff, but a few days ago i found a dead wasp in my room so i have one question:

How do you use dead wasps/ bugs in hexes?

You dont have to answer this, but it would really help me rn!!

Hello anon!

Sorry I didn't answer sooner, my job is very high stress and time consuming. Totally my bad. Was not ignoring you in the slightest.

I'm glad to have helped you. That makes me very happy to hear.

I'm going to be honest though, I personally wouldn't use the dead wasp. It's not like you found it on the street and was like ha Imma get that person. It was found in your room.

Now...my slightly paranoid ass would assume that shit was an omen or attack or some shit. I don't know. I see something like that and I'm like some shit might be going down. I'd cleanse the little fucker and my room and get it out of my vicinity.

Then again, I had a history with someone who used bugs in their shitty intentions against me so that could be just a me thing as well. That was when I was young, dumb and inexperienced as fuck though.

(also I just do not like bugs, we do not vibe)

As to the answer you seek on what to do with this dead wasp:

Dead buggies are (imo) more suitable for flat out curses. Like...that goes beyond "bitch keep my name out your mouth" to "I will fuck up everything that makes you happy."

But your journey and craft is yours. So do as you see fit. I just highly recommend you cleanse like hell afterwards.

You can use the dead bug as a symbol of your anger/betrayed feeling coming back to the lie spreader.

Get real creative with it: Use the stinger as the bite of their lies now being turned onto them. Or even your own attack.

Take the wings and crush them over a taglock of the person as if to ground the person's lies. May lies fly out of the mouth no more.

Those are my first thoughts.

Like I said, be sure to cleanse yourself afterwards. Don't want that bad energy on you.

When it comes to spells and shit, try and think outside the box. Put a nasty little spin on it, almost like a signature on your own personalized fuck you if you're brave enough.

Do make sure to ward/protect yourself first and foremost. Sometimes even if they don't know it, your target could have something to reflect energy especially if the intent is to hex or harm.

You'd be surprised.

Better to be safe than sorry, honestly. I've made the mistake myself of just hexing without a ward or two. I learned.

Never spellwork when blind with emotion. That's how you fuck up. Witchcraft is all intention and that's all well and good but emotions can really fuck up the mind if you allow them to.

By all means, put your emotion into a spell; it's a powerful tool. Hell, I've used the intensity of my love for my spouse as a ward for them. I've thought of all the things that make me laugh and happy to bless my nephew. Emotions are a damn good tool.

Just don't let it get out of control.

At any rate, good luck. I hope this helps!

I also hope this made sense, I need to stop posting in the middle of the night/early morning. Shit be looking live drunk texts sometimes...

[grizzlybearsarecool]

Thanks for da likes and follows from the beautiful (I had a little malfunction there I forgot how to write beautiful hehe..) people and.... My Todoroki one got likes a little fast so what's my hero academia without cinnamon roll deku right?

*SOFT SURFACE*

Spelling mistakes, wrong use of words sorry about those

This is FLOOF I mean simply Fluff! And a UNLIMITED CUTE IZUKU MIDORIYA!! Ahem... Carrying on....

•sometimes, you should thank the friend that exposed your liking towards someone•

It was a beautiful day.. the sun was smiling.., PERFECT temperature, the wind taking your hair on a ride, you didn't feel sleepy, and you were early .

You were peacefully sitting on your chair inside your class untill one of your classmates arrive. As you were zoning off staring into a Blank wall while imaging a fake scenario of you being a total badass. You saw Kirishima enter the classroom, you were quiet amazed "you were the last person that was on my mind to enter the class this early.. I expected bakugo!" You said joyfully "oh no! He's here he was here before me technically but he went somewhere else to do something he told me it was none of my business" he said as he smiled at you with his shark like teeth showing witch is supposed to be scary but it made you we warm. "OI! Shitty hair did you take my drink?!?" He screamed which made both of you jump at his oh so angelic voice (he's pointing a gun at me 😭) "oh, yea you left it on the bench I took it because I thought you forgot it! Here.." he handed it over "DO YOU THINK IM THAT IRRESPONSIBLE HUH?!?" he shouted, but yet sounded like those angelic high notes in choirs (hElp 🙏) "dude it isn't like that! I jus-" he got cut off by the handsome spik- (OMG IM SORRY DONT KILL ME HAVE MERCY BAKUGO!) gentleman " WHA-" now he got cut off by the REAL ANGLE "Shut up! My brain can't process a fight this early so shh don't you have stuf- nvm" you cut off mid sentence because you didn't want anymore chaos happening.

Soon one by one of your classmates entered inside the classroom totally not looking like dead corpses. But as the dead was entering the spotlight was taken away by the All Might obsessed Izuku Midoriya approaching you and slapping two movie tickets on your desk "PLEASE COME TO THE MOVIES WITH ME BECAUSE NO ONE ACCEPTED MY INVITATION TO WATCH YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE... THAT DIDN'T MEAN THEY HATE IT OR SOMETHING THEY JUST DIDN'T-" you cutoff holy child's gibberish speaking and said "whoa dude, slow down are you ok and it isn't even that hot in here and you are sweating for a second I thought you fell into a pool!" You said as you tried to process everything he said "BAHAHAHAHAA, YOUR SO FUNNY BUT CAN YOU PLEASE GO WITH ME BECAUSE IM LONELY AND IM SCARES OF THE DAR-" he posed and thought about the words he said •they won't bully me about it right? I'm probably a definition of coward to them right now! But.. anything for Y/N-chan to come with me!• he thought in his clean mind "your scared of wha- nvm that but perfect timing Izuku because I wanted to got watch it really bad and I'm free too!" You said excitingly " OH REALLY!? Thank you so much!" He said as he started walking in a weird way...

You were done with your morning classes and now it's time for food ! You can't even remember what anyone said you don't even know what you had! You were still a little worried about Izuku's way of talking to you. You went to his women killing room mate and and scanned with your eyes around the lunch room to see if Izuku was near by so you can ask him and hopefully get rid of your curiosity " hey pokéball!" You said joyfully "oh hey Y/N, would you please consider not calling me pokéball I prefer icyhot or half-and-half" he said in his calm voice "oh hell no, besides I don't like copying you know? Never mind that but do you know what's up with Izuku?" You said curiously "oh, I think you mean the way he talked to you this morning right? He has a 'big crush' on you according to what I heard him say when he deflated himself on the floor as he regret saying he's afraid of the dark to someone..." He said "what!" You said as you formed into mina "yes, you should be careful.. I'll try talking him out of his thought of crushing you to death but lock your doors and windows before going to bed.." he said like a concerned father. "Huh? Never mind you and your thinking right Todoroki but are you sure he said ..'big crush?'" you whispered the two words "yes, oh look izuku's coming you should give him some space to sit we have important business to talk about-" he stopped as he saw your inner sonic appear as you ran fast. "Was Y/N talking to you?" Cinnamon butt cheeks said (oml what wrong with my simile's 😭) "yes, she asked me about you wired behavior and I said you have a big crush on her now you have no chance to crush her- Midoriya?" He said worriedly looking at his pale face "You- s-said w-h-what?.." he said dumfoundedly. "I said 'you have a big crush on he-" He was cutoff by a deflated balloon Midoriya on the floor.

TIME FOR THE MOVIE GURLLLL-

You were getting all dolled up to accept or confess or whatever to be izuku's "OMG IN GONA BE A GIRLFRIEND!" You said excitedly. You went to izuku's dorm since he was late to show up to yours and knocked on his door " hey! Izuku!" You heard clashing inside of the room you got a little worried and said "hey, is everything... Okay?" You heard more clashing. You got worried so bad you tried opening the door surprisingly it was open "Izuku?" You said concerned •dammit why do I always forget to lock the door• Izuku cursed to him self while hiding under his bed "Izuk- hey what are you doing under the bed, bro what?" You said confusingly •oh, I got caught I'll just act like nothing happened maybe todoroki was just joking with me• he got out from the hiding place "uh... H-hi!" He said nervously "hey izu, didn't you get ready!?!" You said as you were looking at his face which made him have butterflies "oh yea, sorry about that I'll be quick stay here" he clumsily walked to the bathroom with his clothes and everything while celebrating the fact todoroki joked at him which is sus but what else should he think right?.

After a while you both got ready and started walking to cinema peacefully untill you decided to be brave and hold his hand "this is okay right?" You asked while trying to read his reaction 'y-yeah it-its fine" he said as he was turning to a pink flower that just got some butterflies attention. He held his stomach as he felt the butterflies going crazy in there "sooo.... I heard you have a crush on me is... Is this true or Is it just a lie" he froze then and there •of course todoroki didn't lie that's totally suspicious of him-• "umm.. I know your too shy to admit so let me just say I like you too.. Izuku Midoriya" you said as you rubbed your neck nervously.

He's falling... not to mention he fell into a soft surface that was suspicious.. the ground is normally hard and he is supposed to be bleeding to death by now.. he looked up and saw you red face after a few seconds he has processed the fact that he was on y/n's soft cuddlable boobies, he turned into a beetroot as he started mumbling apologies to you and saying he should suffer himself for doing this to you "ARE YOU Crazy izu? It was just an accident besides you didn't tell me the answer... " you grabbed his face and made him get face you and said "you like me or not sweetie?" You said Izuku was internally dieing it was so damn hot "YE-yes i- I lov- like you v-veh-very muha-much.." he said as he was falling apart by being so close to your face. he successfully built his confidence to kiss you and he tried leaning in but.." so you just like me? I was told you loved me though.." You said dramatically you were technically the queen of teasing so it's your job to tease ya know? "Huh... Oh-oha-ohaky u-uh i-i l-loa-louw you vewy much" he said as you were squeezing his freckled red cheeks and then he finally received his price "good boy!" You kissed him gently and I took him to a trip to cloud 9 "thank you momm-" he said but the last word made you smirk "what did you just say?" You said smug "NOTHING" He shouted "okay then, let's move on shall we, I don't like wasting prescious money on movie tickets and not going to them" you said as sarcasm dripped down like blood. "Okay.." he said as you both held hands and made your way to you movie...

~THE END~

I hope ya'll like it if you like my work please feel free to double tap and give me a note a.k.a like

If you wanna see more of my work feel free to follow me to and sorry about the spelling mistakes and all babes! Love ya! Goddesses and have a great day byeees!..

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

is there any reason to recover when you have a shitty family and no friends? there is nobody to celebrate when i eat a fear food. instead there is just "dont eat too much you don't want to get fat"

there is just denying me food and taking mine (classmates)

classmates share food with everyone else, but when i ask they say no, for everyone they can eat but not me, i dont deserve it

what is the point anymore

My heart goes out to you, because it is so hard to heal when the environment you're in is making you sick.

You're asking if there's a point to recovering in the context of everyone around you. Of course there's a point to recovering - for you, not for them, so that you can feel happy and good in your own mind regardless of what they're like! But it's easy to feel like it's pointless when your environment has conditioned you to feel this way.

I suggest you take time to focus on you, as much as you're able to anyway - focus on your recovery in the context of yourself. Don't share your eating habits or successes with your family members. Remain as minimally engaged as possible in conversations around your body, eating habits, and weight. Then, extract yourself from the situation as gracefully as you can manage and tell yourself whatever you need to hear. That their shitty commentary is not your fault. That you can build better for yourself than they have built for you. That one day, with hard work, you will cultivate a much healthier environment for yourself.

When you eat a fear food, celebrate it by yourself. Learn to love yourself and be your cheerleader and best friend. (Feel free to message this blog and tell me - I might not be around to congratulate you immediately, but when I do get to my inbox, I promise I will care!) See if you can find any online support groups for ED recovery, so that you will be less alone and may have access to more advice and community. Support groups/forums about toxic family and friends might be helpful too as you might be able to learn some strategies for how to build a healthy environment for yourself once you're able to build some boundaries between yourself and toxic influences. It takes a lot of time to learn how to do it. Stay patient with yourself, and if you don't find the right groups right away, keep looking.

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this isolation at school with no supports at home. My best suggestion is, when you're still in this school, keep food items from home stashed in your backpack, and keep your backpack on your person at all times. Or keep it stashed in your locker, but only nonperishables. You don't want it to rot and develop an odor. Instead of seeking friends in a toxic environment, just survive until you graduate. Engage in practices like art and writing in order to connect with yourself, vent, hype yourself up, and just learn to express your experiences. It will not cure the loneliness, and I know loneliness can be crushing. It can help you feel like you don't have to seek love from a loveless environment. I heard a quote to put it in perspective - going to a person for a love they're not capable of giving is like going to the hardware store for oranges. No matter how desperately you ask for oranges, the hardware store will not give you any. It's not your fault - you didn't stock the hardware store - but continuing to seek oranges here will yield you only disappointment.

Hang in there, learn who you are independently of the toxic people around you, be as kind to yourself as possible, and research what you will have to do in order to build the future you want. It may be a future in which you have some distance and limited contact with your family members, or don't go back to your old hometown. I truly wish you the best of luck.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Fluff alphabet w/ knubbler (remake)

Remaking this because skimming through the old version some of my hcs have changed + I wanna get back into writing for mtl while the rot is here... maybe I'll do some other characters (winks)

No queue we die like men (I'm inpatient and wanna post mtl NOW!!!!(.. quickly realizing why I dont do long posts like this on mobile anymore. Not proof read we die like dethklok fans

Bonus prompt ♡ is PDA

Notes: reader is GN though this is mostly focused on general knubbler hcs

CWs: edit

Attraction

I would say hes a bit shallow but I'm a dickface shipper/j, serious note I think depending on circumstance he can overlook surface level stuff if you're charming enough! I mention in the original post that I think he enjoys feistier folk; outspoken and ready to dish it back if its tossed at them. It keeps things interesting even if it can get frustrating at times. Needs someone with humor, though

Bonding

He tries to make time for you when hes not working, he usually takes you out somewhere. Usually dinner or to the mall- hes bit materialistic and he doesn't mind spoiling you. Music fanatic, listens to everything and looooves listening to some of the stuff you're into, most definitely dissecting it too thanks to his career

Cuddling

Average older person body type, a bit on the cooler side temperature wise. VERY handsy when cuddling most of the time. Prefers to be big spoon but would not object if you turn the tables

Dates

As mentioned he spoils you, so going somewhere nice (and a bit pricy) is a common date experience. Flirting and innuendos aside, dates also double as a catch up thing for you. Again due to him working hard a lot of the time to keep up with his career

Emotion

Hes pretty level headed, though seeing him getting frustrated or annoyed isnt an uncommon occurrence. He has a pretty normal threshold when it comes to bullshit in the day to day- does get a little more emotional if hes under the influence, its just hard to guess which emotion it'll be until hes drunk

Family

Hes not interested in having children, for the most part. Hes had those fleeting "what if" thoughts, but anything more than that? No. That being said I do personally headcanon that he has siblings, who might have children of their own. Rich aunt knubbler supremacy/j

Gift giving

Again, he spoils you. A lot. He can afford it thanks to working with dethklok, and that's assuming hes not also producing for others. Even if hes not giving you something significant, hes sending you roses to remind you you're his

Harsh

He can get short when hes angry but he does try his best to reel himself in and try to find a solution, and depending on the context willing to compromise so both sides are satisfied. Naturally hes easier to work up if hes stressing out. Prefers to go to the side to cool off if things get too intense

Injury

Very similar to the old post, he reacts accordingly based on the nature of your injury. He can be a little insensitive to it, though, but like.. in. a "oh we have different pain thresholds and I kind of forget that" kind of way

Jealousy

Oh this man gets jealousy with a capital J. Want a quick way to get him worked up? Make him jealous. I mean don't becahse that's kind of shitty but. You know. Depending on the context and how the relationship as a whole is going hes either going to toss you to the side or play your game- has the "I didnt lose you you lost me" mentality, kind of gets nasty with it if you really fuck things up

Kiss

Lots of kisses- quick and light, or deep any passionate. Any kiss is a good kiss- tends to favor your mouth of course! Loves being kisses on the cheek

Love language

Guys I don't think I said this yet but he likes buying stuff for you/j

No serious notes, he listens to you. You're someone he can just talk to, no having to worry about your job or your reputation. Just talking. Hes a good listener, actually. Physical touch is another way he shows his love. Not even just sexually; reassuring and innocent hands on the shoulder or a hand steadying you on your back when you're faltering. Things like that

Marriage

Similar to having children hes never really thought about it. He doesnt strike me as the type to settle and commit to something long term, even just having you long term as a non-spouse is a change for him. He might warm up to it one day, he might not

No

A quick dealbreaker is if you put his career in jeopardy. Hes worked way too hard for this and hes not going to let it get wiped just like that. Not even necessarily getting him fired, just interfering in any negative way can put in a lot of tension

Oddity

Goofy ass laugh. Laughs at his own jokes, most of which being bad or corny. That's not even touching on his sexual innuendos. Horrid. Tomato tomato tomato

Petnames

Naturally he calls you babe and baby. Hon and honey are thrown in there every now and then. Oh he would definitely use dumber names in passing, partly because he unironically thinks they're cute and because he likes seeing your reaction

Quiet time

Well I guess it defeats the purpose of this segment being called "quiet" time but that idea earlier of the two of you just sitting and enjoying music together and analyzing it sounds nice. Outside of that the two of you can sit in silence doing something on your own. Life can get hectic, especially when one or even both of you work for dethklok

Risk

He takes risks, calculated ones though. He thinks about the pros and cons of everything before acting, and if it would be better to do it than do nothing if the outcome doesnt look too good. But that's in the context of himself and his work. But with you? Unless you're dying or in danger he tends to play it safe even if he can still come off as a douche every once in a while

Shh

He has his healthy share of secrets. Nothing wrong with that, privacy is important. If he needs to tell you something that he thinks you should know, he will tell you when its appropriate

Tunes

Maybe its because I'm going insane over these songs, and I hope you can forgive me for not linking them but:

Modern day cane and mx sinister

Both by IDKHBTFM. Less of a "you guys listen to these together/it reminds me of knubbler x reader stuff " but because the songs kind of remind me of him in general/I feel hed listen to these

Upset

He tries to work through things when hes upset, but he does separate himself from the situation if it gets too much- whether it be to keep him from saying or doing something hes really going to regret later or because he just can't deal with it in that moment

He offers to listen to you when you're upset, he tends to be unbiased so he can offer a good solution if that's what you need. He does try to spare your feelings but get ready to sometimes hear what you dont want

Wedding

Valentine

Roses, candies, and a reservation to some fancy place- something higher quality than the usual. Definitely the type to try to initiate intimacy on Valentine's

If it DOES happen, hes going all out. Maybe it's the fact hes rich and famous and he can overindulge a bit, but an expensive wedding is likely. It may not be huge, in terms of attendants though. Just friends and family

Xray

Hes gotten very good at reading people over the years so good luck trying to act normal around him if something is going on. If you seem avoidant about talking, he does try to drop hints that you can talk to him

Yearn

Oh this man yearns, both innocently and not so. He copes well enough between the times you are apart or see each other less

Zzz

Snores in his sleep. Has a long routine. Sleeps like a sickly Victorian person; on his back, head tilted backwards, arms sprawled across his torso. Primarily sleeps on his back, though, maybe you can cuddle into his side

Bonus prompt ♡

Looooves PDA, always holding you in some way. If the setting is professional he will keep his hands to himself. Does not mind showing you off, either

[disabledstraydogs]

your icon is so incredibly cute. Is there a reason you chose fyodor for it? Or any reasons you like having fyodor on it?/things you like about having fyodor on it? (it is so real btw. I dont know if I'd call him canon disabled for...reasons, but fyodor is one one if the most disabled coded characters in bsd ever. He's disabled in my heart. To me. The vibes are all there..)

Haiiii anon, we saw this last night while sawifying BSD and it made us so so happy I'm sorry we didn't answer it then but it wouldn't have been coherent.

The story of this icon is that we were thinking of 'canonically' disabled characters and Fyodor came to mind (although if he is disabled in canon is up for debate to me just because anemia isn't technically a disbaility and we will touch on the mental health stuff later) although we were going to use Chuuya we saw the art on a charm and knew we had to use it.

Fyodor is one or our favourite BSD characters (tied with Chuuya) although that's because of the system Fyodor headcanon, specifically the scene in dead apple with Crime and Punishment makes me insane. However I understand that this can be seen as a problematic thing due to Fyodor's actions in source but honestly, we feel more seen by systems who have done/do awful things.

I won't talk about our trauma but we were very much brought up in a 'dog eat dog' environment surrounded by Catholicism and hypocrisy but that does mean that even as a child we never got the chance to be a good person and because of that have always related to 'shitty rep' more than different system with different trauma would.

Back to Fyodor in my mind he displays behaviors of someone raised in a similar situation to us (although I do think that- given that we don't know what era he was even born in and the history Catholicism in Europe is insane- I don't think he knows that by modern day standards he was raised in a cult or cult like situation) and because of this he developed low empathy and ASPD/NPD through years of abuse (which also possibly shaped his world views- although I don't think Asagiri will agree with me).

Again, I know that this is another issue entirely (people with cluster b disorders deserve more rep than just having criminals) but again it means different things to us than others in our situation.

Sorry for the rambles I get ill about this man.