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secret-smut-sideblog · 3 months

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Girl Talk

Astarion x F! Tav

18+ talks of sexuality, implied trauma, safe words, role reversal, breast worship, grinding, fingering (m!), ass play, rimming, prostate orgasm, some gender play, aftercare, porn w/o plot

One late night Astarion turned their conversation to a more sensual topic and was delighted to discover Tav lacked experience with men. Naturally he was more than happy to lend a hand...

"So you've never..." He smiled, laying on his side next to her, the faint miasma of wine around them.

"Never?" She asked, incredulous. "Astarion do you take me for a holy woman?" Smiling cheekily at him. "I thought you surface dwellers thought all Drow are insatiable."

"Well, are they?"

"No comment." She lifted her glass to her lips, sliding her eyes away from him mischievously.

They had been traveling together for a while now and had struck up a fast friendship. Her snarky words and wanton flirtation winning him over. Sharp tongue and sharper eyes.

She leaned back, thinking. "Its more that I've been mostly with women. Sure there was a man or two but they didn't make it far enough to make an impression. Didnt get far below the belt." She shrugged, waving her hand noncommittally.

Of course, in a matriarchal structure she would be more directed towards sapphic pursuits. She had explained that Drow men were not upheld to the most flattering light in her society.

"If you had to pick, in our camp-"

"Karlach," No hesitation. "Oh I'd climb her like a tree."

He blinked, an amused smile teasing the edge of his mouth. "Impeccable taste."

"I have been known to have a refined palate." She smirked.

"Honestly I'm curious but I'm just more comfortable with women, I know their bodies. I can navigate them even without eyes." She laughed.

Ah yes, the eyes. Those haunting eyes.

He had overheard her speaking to Wyll about their shared warlock experience. His, to a devil, to defend his city. Hers, to an eldritch being, to achieve the gift of sight. Tried to smother his frown at the easy energy between them, their instinctive bond.

Logically he knew he should feel this same way about Karlach, with her soft puppy eyes following Tav around camp. But he couldn't keep distaste in his heart for her. Not for long anyway. Wyll on the other hand...

Her demonic white eyes peering good naturedly into his now. He didnt know if he'd ever get used to how they pierced him. She savored every sight and while slightly intoxicating it made him squirm to be looked at so thoroughly.

"Well," He smiled. Leaning towards her conspiratorially. "If you're less experienced with men you could always practice..."

While he found himself enjoying her company, quite a lot if he was honest, he was still looking for an in. And here it was. Plopped in his lap, just a shared drink away.

"Oh please," She rolled her eyes. "My pickings out here are slim to none. Unless I get the sudden urge to get horizontal with a goblin."

"What about closer to camp?" Sliding a little nearer to her, his fingers almost touching the inside of her forearm.

"Astarion," She admonished, drawing out her words. "Wasting your advances? My neck is right here." Turned her head to make her point.

While he was distracted by her jumping pulse point he couldn't help the edge of frustration creeping up him.

He had been putting all of his honeyed words on her, all his soft tempting touches, and she would just dance them off with a light laugh.

She was a natural flirt but there was an air to her that she didn't take his advances to heart. Maybe she thought he was just like that with everyone. That it didn't mean anything.

Given that she was devastatingly beautiful he felt even more pressure to stake his claim. Their companions all circling her constantly. Gods she basically had to beat them away with a stick at the tiefling party.

"What if," He started, tracing his finger languidly up her wrist. "You practiced on me? You can touch me like you would a feminine lover, if that helps."

She sat up on elbows, head cocked slightly to the side, staring at him.

It was suddenly very quiet and he tried not to fidget, finger tracing figure eights into her soft flesh.

"And that wouldn't make you feel... uncomfortable?"

Honestly he hadn't thought that far ahead. This was a person he was free to bed on his own terms, of his own will. And he was rather fond of her. Though he was here with ulterior motives, that didnt mean he couldn't enjoy her company. He could do much worse.

"Oh what's a little exploration between friends..." Looked up at her through his lashes. "Or more than friends."

"I mean, if we're exploring I could get out the strap."

He had been mid drink and choked, sputtering as she laughed, patting hard into his back.

"I'm sorry, just teasing."

"I mean... are you offering?"

She crooked a bemused smile at him. "I think we would have to work up to that, Star. Let's see how the night goes first."

After dinner she gathered her bathing supplies, exchanging pleasantries with everyone as she retreated.

Blowing a cheeky kiss to Karlach as she rose. Her fire erupting in a burst, Gale having to dive off of the log they were sharing. A goofy smile all over her face.

He almost felt bad about what he was planning. She would be much more suited to the tiefling.

Well, it's just sex, it won't mean anything beyond each of their gain. Him, allegiance. Her, pleasure.

He walked on light feet, following her dark auburn hair. The gentle lull of her singing. Playing with the tones and words they had helped the bard Alfira stumble through.

"Moon, Sun, All remind me of your grace, Faith, Care, All the love I can't repay~"

Despite her light and playful demeanor her singing voice was full and haunting. A mournful cello calling out into the night.

He understood why Karlach basically begged her to sing for them around the fire when her little talent was discovered. She had waved her away, insisting that it wouldn't be worth their time. She'd much rather hear Halsin play. Then Halsin had urged her on, countering that he would only pluck a few strings if she joined.

"Fine, prepare to be underwhelmed." She had laughed.

Immediately they went quiet as she started, closing her eyes. He noticed she always closed them when she was concentrating, as if the added sense was too much.

They were enraptured listening to her, even Halsin almost stumbling through cords. Her voice spellbinding them all.

"Gods, Soldier. Are you part harpy?" Karlach hushed after she had fallen quiet.

She smiled, clearly embarrassed. A rare sight. She had an easy confidence, getting her flustered was a feat.

Now, he approached her stealthily at the edge of the river. Faced away, already waist deep, wringing water out of her long hair.

"Are you joining or just hoping for a show?" She smirked, glancing at him over her shoulder.

He was about to scoff, how did she always hear him no matter how quiet he moved?

Seeing his annoyed posture, she smiled. "My ears are more attuned than most seeing people, dont take it personally."

"Noted. I would so enjoy sneaking up on you." He pantomimed, crouching down playfully.

"I bet you would, but you'll have to walk on a whisper to get past me." She winked, sinking down into the water to chest high. Turning to face him. Eyes alight with mischief.

It felt so easy with her. Their banter a practiced dance, the steps surefooted.

"So, are you still dreaming of sharing a night of pleasure?" He mused, pushing his hand on his lower back. A wicked smile on his lips.

She lowered further into the water, only eyes now. Staring at him through her lashes, serpentine. One hand emerging, beckoning him with a hooked finger.

He pulled his clothes off in a sensual show, leaving them in a neat pile next to hers.

As he began to wade in her head submerged. The night water too dark to make out her shape.

He stood in false absence in the water, chest high. Senses alight.

Fingers along his waist, exploring. He looked down and saw her murky shape against his torso.

She rose, chest to chest with him. Pushing her hair slick back over her head. So dark it looked black in the dim light.

"Well, well," He intoned, pulling a damp lock behind her shoulder. "Looks like I caught myself a siren."

"You do know what sirens do to beautiful creatures like you, right?" She cocked her head at him, arms coming up to drape over his shoulders.

Their eyes were level with eachother, nearly the same height. She had teased him mercilessly in camp when it was discovered that she was an inch or two taller.

It felt almost too intimate to be directly across from her, their faces mirrored.

"I'd be more worried for your neck than mine, darling." He purred, flashing her a fang baring smirk.

"Oh I dont know," She mused, pressing her body flush to his. "I think deadly things can be good bedfellows, dont you?"

She brushed her lips against his, pulling away teasingly. "You still want to do this little experiment?"

"I'd love nothing more." He snaked his hands around her waist. "Lead on."

At least he didn't have to do the work this time. Could just lay back and go somewhere else.

Some of his thoughts must have betrayed in his face cause she paused.

"Hey, I'm okay to postpone this. Indefinitely if needed." Her voice was uncharacteristically soft then, pulling away from him.

He grabbed her retreating wrist, leading her back into him.

"Tav, I need this." He hushed, the truth. Though maybe not with the intent she imagined.

She paused again. Gods it made him nervous when she got quiet. Her melodic voice usually floating around the air.

"Ground rules." She stated, her eyes serious. Waiting for his response.

He blinked. Honestly he had given his own boundaries very little, if any thought.

"You first." Stalling for time.

"Not okay with being restrained and I'd prefer if we had a safe word."

He nodded, this was new to him but he did appreciate the idea.

Scouring his mind for definite turn offs but found it difficult. He tried to not be present for most of it so it was hard to say with certainty.

"Dont touch my back or the bite. Also not into restraint. Or force."

She smiled and he felt proud that he had passed this little test.

"We can stop at any time, okay?"

"Naturally, darling. Though I doubt I'll be able to resist ravaging you, I'll behave."

"Those lines work on a lot of women, huh?" She teased, fingers trailing his cheek as she pulled closer.

He felt a slight tightness in his chest but gave her an easy smile. "Well you're here now, arent you darling?"

"True." She whispered, leaning in to kiss his jaw gently. "Though I could say I'm here in the spirit of research."

"And you'd be a liar, a terrible one at that."

She breathed a laugh against him. "You always need to get the last word, huh?"

"Oh, I'll ge-" He was muffled by her mouth, pulling him into a slow exploring kiss.

He felt a little moan escape him, much to his horror. The desire in her touch surprising him.

She held him around his waist, cupping the back of his head. Her lips sliding warm against his.

She pulled away and he found himself following her. "The safe word is Bulette."

He nodded, and she lifted under his thighs and wrapped them around her waist. Walking up to the edge of the water.

His dead heart did race a little bit at that but he figured it was just the role reversal.

Though they were the same height she was much stronger than she looked. Muscle hidden under plush thighs and the soft curve of her stomach. He could feel it when he bit into the defined curve of her neck. See it in her shoulders when she lifted her arms over her head. That little adorable whine when she stretched.

She layed him back on the grass, her hands guiding him down.

"If this is how you treat your women I can see why you've taken so many admirers." He teased.

"You know," She smiled, leaning down over him. "You're beautiful enough it's not a far stretch."

He breathed a laugh through his nose.

"So where would you start, lover?" He purred, twisting a lock of her hair as it fell over him.

She hummed, moving down. "Usually here." Leaning into his neck on his unmarked side.

Kissing and nipping at his throat he found himself giving in to the sensation. Head falling back slightly. He never minded the foreplay.

Her mouth was devotional on his neck, licking and pulling heavenly circles.

He found himself humming with approval. Hand carding through her hair. "That is nice, darling."

"Then I'd move here..." her fingers trailing down his chest, brushing tentatively over his nipple. Asking.

He felt a shiver go down his back. Shocked by the little strike of pleasure.

"And then?" He intoned, hearing the slight rasp in his voice. Definitely intentional.

He felt her smile against his throat. Moving down his front, leaving soft kisses as she went. Thumbing over his nipple playfully.

"I would put my leg here." She hushed, pushing her knee between his thighs. "So she could grind."

"Interesting," He tried for suave, failing miserably. Her fingers softly twisting his peak making him slow and stupid.

"This is my favorite part." She looked up at him through her lashes cheekily. Hovering over his chest. "Hold on, love."

He almost scoffed, surely it wasnt-

Her mouth descended on his chest, licking hard slurping circles around his nipple.

His back arched involuntarily, a loud embarrassing groan leaving him.

She moaned in pleasure, her mouth salivating. Gripping his hips.

Gods she was unhinged, tongue pulsing and insistent. Laving up and down his hard peak. Panting hot against him.

If he had more sense he would have been baffled at how much it seemed she was enjoying just his experience. But he felt lost, head heavy with pleasure.

She pushed her thigh further into him encouragingly and he could no longer resist. Already painfully aroused.

He ground down into her thigh gratefully, feeling her tense the muscle for him.

Her other hand came up to pinch and twist at his nipple as she left it, sliding over to his left side and taking up there. The new sensation making him gasp, both sides of his chest being devastated with equal intensity.

She picked up on the rhythm of his hips and pushed her thigh into him in pulses.

Gods her mouth, rolling her tongue and nipping. Suckling down hard then pulling back to lick long stripes up his chest.

How in the hells was he already close?

He gripped her bicep, wrapping his leg around her hip.

Fuck it. Why not?

"I'm-," He panted.

She moaned into him, biting down on his engorged peak. Rising back up.

He almost whined at the lack of sensation until she latched onto his earlobe.

Oh fuck.

His eyes pulled shut. "Oh Gods, don't stop."

She suckled down hard, a little sweet whine directly in his ear. Her hands gripping his ass and pulling him into her harder. His cock throbbing and sliding wet against her.

One last nibbling suck and he was shattered.

Coming in stuttering cries, head thrown back. His pelvis contracting in great vicious jolts, spurting long ropes against her hip. Distantly aware of the sounds coming out of his lips.

"You with me?" She asked gently after a moment, pulling back. Kissing his face in light caresses.

Suddenly aware of his body again he realized his eyes had welled with tears.

"Ah, yes darling." He ruffled, trying to pull himself together with great effort. "I could actually go again."

She looked at him dubiously, a soft but amused smile on her swollen lips.

"I think you're lying." She purred, leaving a tender kiss on his already bruised neck.

He was. But he had a reputation to uphold.

"All out of moves? Dissapointing." He sighed.

"You're cute," She chided, coming back up to pull him into a searing kiss. "Biting off more than you can chew."

"Oh I've barely been sated, sweet thing. I'm starving."

"On your belly then." She whispered into his ear. Patting his thigh playfully.

"Well, wouldn't you like to be tasted?" He asked, confused. Surely she didnt intend to only pursue his pleasure.

"Hmm, maybe another night." She mused, truly seeming to mull it over.

What a strange creature.

"Are all sapphics like this?" He scoffed, letting her hands twist his waist. Hips up, bracing himself on his forearms.

"More than you'd think." She laughed, massaging his hips from behind.

"You know what you're doing back there?" He teased, shooting her a look over his shoulder.

"Hmm, different from what I'm used to. But I think I can translate." She eyed his backside playfully. "But dont hesitate to give me directions."

She leaned down and tongued gingerly at his hole.

His head fell forward, hands in fists.

"Well that's encouragement." She teased, tongue coming back. Moving in tight circles.

"Ah!" He moaned, pushing back into her.

Though he knew she was new to this she moved with practiced precision. He could tell she was very good at what she did on more feminine bodies.

"I heard this is a good spot." She murmured, her two fingers rubbing back and forth against his taint. The shudder that moved through him making her smile.

Tongue coming back to push slow pulsing heaven into him. Both sensations playing him like a fiddle. His fingernails digging into his palm.

Oh Gods it was too good. And still he needed more.

"Inside. One finger." He moaned into his arm.

She wet her finger inside her mouth, tested it in small circles around his entrance. Other hand still stimulating.

She pushed in gradually, pausing one knuckle deep. "Like this?"

"Yes," He panted. "Slowly."

"It feels so similar." She marveled, finger almost to the hilt. "How lovely."

He clenched at her words and heard a delighted giggle. "Even that! Oh!"

"If that's the same, then what about..." She curled her finger toward his navel.

He moaned loudly, buckling down.

"Oh yes," She smiled, beginning slow pulsing thrusts of her hooked finger. Other hand pushing more into his taint. Hitting his prostate from both sides.

A moaning writhing mess beneath her, he was completely gone.

"Oh how pretty, coming undone like this." She purred, leaning down to lick around her pumping fingers.

He knew he was not long for this world, the building pressure in his pelvis about to burst. Reaching around to grip her thigh with a bruising intensity.

"Such a good girl for me." She hummed.

He cried out, his end hitting him so hard he thought he would black out. A deep shuddering ripping through him. His whole world condensed to nearly agonizing waves of pleasure. Tears spilling down his cheeks he bit hard into his forearm. His cock forcing out what little he had left in him.

He collapsed comepletely flat into the ground, the damp earth holding him up.

She left his back momentarily, coming back with a cloth, wet from the river.

She pulled his slack body up to her chest, his back cradled into her. Softly wiping first his brow then working her way down.

"You dont ha-"

"This is part of it, love." She smiled, running her hand through his hair, cajoling it back into place. "You're getting the full experience."

He leaned into her, closing his eyes. Letting her bathe him clean. He knew future him would be screaming into his pillow at this but he was too blissed out to care.

"Thank you," She gave him one final wipe. Setting the cloth down and wrapping her arms loosely around his middle. "For trying this with me. For trusting me."

"You did everything and you're thanking me?" He laughed, still panting. "You're a strange woman, you know."

"If you're so insistent maybe you can do all the work next time." She pinched his side lightly.

Next time. The anxiety in his heart melting just for a moment. Oh thank the Gods.

"If Karlach doesn't beat you to it, that is."

"You're the devil."

She laughed against his back, his eyes getting heavy.

"Let's get you to your bedroll, we'll have a brand new day of bothering eachother tomorrow."

He would never admit it to her, but he was looking forward to it.

Part 2

#post nut clarity is going to hit him like a truck #babygirl you are sooo normal about her #astarion smut #astarion x tav #lyrics from: you know me too well - nothing but thieves

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helloalycia · 11 months

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moving on [six] // alicia clark

summary: you refuse to give up on your sister, even if she's adamant on not joining you, but you're not sure what else you can do to convince her.

warning/s: mentions of violence, injuries, guns and death.

author's note: this is delayed, my apologies! i’m on holiday and the wifi isn’t the greatest lol. This is the final part though so i hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as i’ve enjoyed writing it! :)

one / two / three / four / five / wattpad / masterlist

"This is it," Y/S/N said with finality as we stopped before the front gates of her hideout.

I frowned, looking out at the vast emptiness that I'd have to make my way through to get home again. I didn't care about the journey – I'd declined when Y/S/N offered to send some of her people to accompany me back – I cared that she wasn't coming with me. Last night, I'd barely gotten any sleep, trying to think up ways to convince her to come back home with me. But this morning, she'd shown me no sign of hearing me out and I was running out of time.

"I'm really glad you stopped by," she said, turning to face me. "Knowing you're alive... I'm grateful. But you need to go home. And I have to stay here."

"Y/S/N, please," I begged, stepping forward and clutching her arm. "I didn't come all this way to leave you behind. You're better than this. Than these people."

She clenched her jaw slightly, but remained calm. "I love you, Y/N. Have a safe journey."

Tearing her arm from my grasp, she began to walk the other way, but I refused to let her go. There was no way this was it between us. She was my sister – she had to see that this was crazy!

"Y/S/N!" I shouted, going after her and grabbing her arm again. "You have to come with me!"

As I pulled her back, a nearby guard shoved me backwards and onto the floor, immediately aiming his rifle at my head. Before I knew it, all nearby guards had pointed their guns my way.

"Stop!" Y/S/N ordered, and I looked up at her with pleading eyes.

"You're better than this," I repeated, meeting her gaze and hoping I could get through to her.

"You don't belong here," the man who shoved me said with disgust. "Y/S/N does."

I ignored him and looked to my sister, but she didn't say a word to defend me.

"You don't need her," the man continued, eyes looking me up and down. "You seem to be doing alright by yourself. Huh. Where did you come from?"

"Nowhere," I spat out, glaring up at him.

"I overheard her and Y/S/N talking in the kitchen," another guard shouted. "Apparently she's from a nice cushy place with food, water, the lot! Somewhere we could all go."

I clenched my jaw, immediately regretting having confided to Y/S/N in what I thought was secret. Of course the guards had been listening. What had I done?

"Y/S/N," I tried once more, looking to her, but she was exchanging looks with her people and it made me nervous.

My heart dropped when she looked back to me and asked, "Where is it, Y/N?"

I opened my mouth, shocked. "What are you doing?"

I tried to stand up, but the guard before me flicked off the safety from his gun, forcing me to stay kneeling. I looked back up to my sister, expecting her to intervene, and when she didn't, I realised what was happening.

"Your home, the community," she expanded. "Where is it?"

My deepest fear had come true. Alicia had been right. It didn't matter who I was – Y/S/N had changed for the worse. I'd lost her. And now she was after my home.

"No," I told her, trying to hide my hurt. "I didn't come for this. I only wanted you, Y/S/N. And if you're not coming, then forget it. I'll go."

"No way," the guard muttered, tempted to pull the trigger. "Where is it?"

"Just tell them," Y/S/N said with encouragement. "Then we'll go together. You can stay with us. We'll be together again."

Tears brimmed my eyes. "This isn't how I wanted it. I'm not letting you destroy my home. Not like you've probably done with so many other innocent people."

Suddenly a gun was smacked across my face, sending me to the ground. My belongings were stripped from me as I struggled to open my eyes and rid the dizziness.

"Grab her," I heard my sister say, before hands pulled me up and dragged me into a clearing by the building.

I looked around, finding my sister's eyes as two guards held me upright. She looked apologetic, but I didn't believe it. She wouldn't be doing this if she didn't want to. How had I lost control of her so bad?

"Just tell us the location," she tried again, voice monotonous, like this didn't phase her in the slightest.

"I'm begging you not to do this," I said with tears in my eyes. "It's me, Y/S/N. It's not a stranger you're hurting. It's your sister."

"Fuck, Y/N!" she shouted, frustrated. "Just say it! Don't you want us to be okay? We need the supplies!"

I frowned, her face becoming blurry as my tears spilled. When she realised I wasn't going to say anything, she nodded to a guard who then punched me hard across the face, leaving me with stars in my eyes and blood in my mouth. Still, I stayed quiet, and then another punch came, and I was blinded by the pain.

"Just tell us!" my sister screamed at me, but I couldn't hear her properly, not through the blood rushing in my ears.

Another punch came, this time to my gut, and I would have collapsed if it weren't for the men holding me upright. A metallic taste was on my tongue as I struggled to look up, hoping to look my sister in the eye and show her what she was doing.

"Wait," her voice said, before another punch could come, and then she stopped before me, tilting my head up to see her. With a softened expression, she said, "Where is it, Y/N?"

The physical pain I felt right now was nothing compared to the pain in my chest when she looked at me without an ounce of sympathy. To her, I was just another person to steal from. Our relationship meant nothing, and it broke my heart.

"Mum and dad would be so disappointed," I managed to get out, breathlessly, and it only made her more angry as she let go of me and stood back.

"Again," she ordered, and the beating continued.

They landed a few more hits in before an echoing gun shot went off in the distance, making everybody stop.

"The hell was that?" Y/S/N said angrily, before directing her words at me. "Did you bring company?"

The guards holding me let go and I was too weak to hold myself up, immediately falling to the ground.

"Everybody get into defensive positions!" she ordered, and I heard feet shuffling about before another shot went off.

"Sniper down!" somebody yelled for everyone to hear, before a third shot went off, and a scream followed.

"To the walls! Now!" Y/S/N shouted as everybody got into position.

I couldn't be sure what was happening, my head still spinning and mouth full of blood. But I suddenly felt arms grab me and realised it was Y/S/N, though she had her pistol pointed at me.

"You better hope these people aren't with you," she hissed, before leading me into the building behind us.

We took cover by the front window, crouching down enough to stay out of the way but for Y/S/N to have a good look at what was going on. More gunshots were going off, from both sides of the fight, and I didn't know who was there or who was winning, but Y/S/N was pissed, her grip tightening on my arm.

"It's just me and you," she said with desperation, eyes on mine. "Tell me the location."

"I'm sorry I let you become like this," I got out weakly.

She groaned with frustration before focusing her attention outside again. I closed my eyes momentarily, trying to catch my breath, before freezing when a gun cocked behind us. Y/S/N tensed up, too, and then a voice spoke.

"Let her go."

I recognised the voice – it was Alicia! What the hell was she doing here?

Y/S/N released my arm as the two of us turned around slowly. I could have cried at the sight of the Clark girl, stood over us with her pistol pointed at Y/S/N. Her eyes flickered over to mine briefly and she faltered when she saw my face, which no doubt looked like a bloody mess. Unfortunately, that was enough time for Y/S/N to lunge forward and tackle her to the floor.

Both guns slid to the side as my sister straddled Alicia, punching her in the face. I tried to push myself up as Alicia kicked her off, attempting to keep her distance, but Y/S/N was quick as she grabbed her once more. My body was on fire as I crawled over to the guns, grabbing one and using my remaining strength to stand up. Finally, I was able to lean against the reception desk for support, but I couldn't get a clear shot on my sister. Her and Alicia were fighting too closely.

I shot the ground instead, making them both jump apart and look my way. Alicia quickly scrambled away, realising what I was doing, and I pointed the gun at Y/S/N shakily.

"Stop," I told her, taking a sharp breath.

She raised her hands slowly, giving me a knowing look. "Y/N, come on. You're gonna do this right now? Choose her over your own sister?"

Tears pricked my eyes as I frowned. "You're not my sister anymore. No sister of mine would do this to me. To anyone. You used to be so kind and, now, you're just so bitter. So horrible."

Her raised hands squeezed into fists, a scowl on her face.

"Alicia, come here," I said, not tearing my gaze from my sister.

Alicia joined my side, grabbing the other gun from the floor.

"You won't do it," Y/S/N said with a glare. "You can't."

She was right. I couldn't hurt her, let alone shoot her.

"But I will," Alicia suddenly said, lifting her gun and pointing it at her. "So you better stay put."

Relieved, I lowered my gun and let out a deep breath, my exhaustion catching up with me.

"We need to go," Alicia said to me, eyes still fixated on my sister.

I nodded, accepting Alicia's free hand when she offered it me.

"You were never good enough to survive this world, Y/N!" Y/S/N shouted as we inched our way to the back of the building, presumably where the back door was. "You got lucky! You could never do what needed to be done to survive. I'm glad I left you for dead! I only wish you would have actually died!"

The utter hatred in her eyes left me stunned. Her words hurt more than the punches, and I tried to think of the moment I'd let it go so wrong, but I couldn't. Either way, this was all my fault.

"Come on," Alicia urged, leading me to the back with her gun still pointed ahead. "Through the back door."

I obeyed, holding open the door for Alicia.

"For your sake, don't follow," Alicia warned Y/S/N, who was stood at the end of the hall with a glare permanently directed our way.

Alicia closed the door behind us before hurriedly helping me away, using the confusion and panic from everyone to sneak me past some some tents and to a hole cut in the fence at the back.

"You first," she said urgently, holding open the fence so I wouldn't get cut. "As soon as we're out, the others will retreat."

I swallowed thickly, the lump in my throat stuck. "I'm sorry. You were right."

She frowned, eyes swimming with concern. "Not now, Y/N. It'll be okay, but we have to go."

I nodded, knowing she was right, before getting on my knees and crawling through the gap. After the two of us made it out, she helped me walk as we made it away from the hideout and to some cars parked in the distance. I was surprised to see some familiar faces from the stadium.

"Y/N and I are with transport," Alicia announced in her radio. "You can retreat."

The gunfire stopped, partially, in the distance, but I wasn't too focused on it as Alicia helped me into the back of a pickup truck. After slapping the back, the driver set off and we were on our way. I looked back at the hideout, watching it get smaller in the distance, and wondered how much my sister hated me.

Alicia was cleaning up my wounds the best she could with the first aid equipment she had, wiping the blood from my face and soaking up the remainder with some bandages. I had so much to say to her, still shocked she'd come after me after everything that we'd said the last time we saw each other. But my brain was fried, my body was in pain and all I could hear were Y/S/N's words rattling around in my brain.

"She was wrong," Alicia finally spoke when she set the first aid kit to the side. "Everything she said, she was wrong."

I looked up, meeting her comforting gaze, and saw the swelling from Y/S/N's punches already forming on her cheek. Y/S/N had done that to her. Alicia was hurt because of me.

And just like that, I began to cry, mourning all I'd lost in such a short amount of time. Alicia pulled me close, unbothered by my blood and tears staining her shirt, and rubbed soothing circles on my back.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that, but when I'd finally stopped, we were still driving and I was still hurting.

"I'm sorry," Alicia muttered in my ear as she held me close. "I didn't want to be right. I so badly wished I was wrong. You deserve better."

I squeezed her hand appreciatively, relaxed in her arms. "Thank you for coming after me. If you hadn't, I would probably be dead."

"I should have come with you in the first place," she said guiltily. "Everything I said... I didn't mean it. I should have been with you. By your side."

I sat up straight, looking to her with disagreement, but she shook her head.

"No," she said before I could argue. "I should have. End of. I don't know what I would have done if..." She paused, frowning to herself, before shaking her head. "Never mind that."

I wasn't sure what I'd done to deserve someone like her, someone so selfless and caring. Even after everything, she was still here.

I leaned back on her shoulder, appreciating her warmth when she wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. It was easy to close my eyes and try to forget, even for a moment.

Returning to the stadium was a lot quicker than leaving it, considering I was now in a pickup truck and not on a stupid bicycle. Alicia and I didn't talk much the rest of the way back, and I mostly slept on her. If not sleeping, than merely staying away and pondering how wrong I had been to find Y/S/N in the first place.

I needed to move on from her, I knew I did, but I wasn't sure what that would look like and I was terrified of what it could mean. After all, how does one move on from family?

The guilt of Alicia and others coming after me ate away at me, too. They could have died saving me, and who even was I to them? I wasn't sure why they did it, but I would forever be in their debt. For if they hadn't arrived, I was certain I could have been dead at the hands of my sister. Alicia was right the whole time and I should have listened to her. She knew what Y/S/N was like – the real her – even from the start, back when she left me to die in the fire. I was blinded by love, but not anymore. Now, I knew the truth.

When we reached the stadium, Madison, Nick and Luciana, amongst others, were there to greet us.

"Alicia," Madison said with relief upon seeing her daughter, before her eyes fell to me. "Y/N, you're safe."

Judging from her expression, I didn't look very good, but thankfully she didn't comment on it.

"Madison, I–"

"Not now," Madison cut me off before I could both thank and apologise to her, for sneaking out and for endangering everybody who came after me, including her daughter. "Naomi is waiting for you in the medbay. You should go to her and get checked out."

I swallowed hard, nodding shamefully, and accepted Alicia's help in limping towards the medbay. Naomi was indeed waiting for us and immediately rushed me to a bed to check out my injuries. I felt like I was back in here for the first time, with her fixing me up and Alicia hovering in the background.

After inspecting my injuries and assuring me it would all heal with the help of some bandages and painkillers, Naomi ordered me to rest in bed. Without discussion, Alicia helped me to my room to do just that.

"Do you, er, want me to leave or–" she began nervously after helping me to my bed.

"Please stay," I muttered, aware of how desperate I sounded, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be alone right now.

She nodded, nerves dissipating when she saw my expression, before laying beside me in my bed. I couldn't get into a comfortable enough position without the bruising on my stomach causing me discomfort, so I was forced to lay on my back, though I remained tucked into Alicia's side as closely as I could. She didn't mind, it seemed, and didn't question me when I stayed quiet, merely listening to her breathing and the faintest beat of her heart next to my ear.

I wasn't sure I could fall asleep, even after everything that had happened today. My mind was still racing, catching up with everything.

"She would have killed me to get to this place," I finally spoke, voice cracking. "She would have killed me for them. She called them her family."

Alicia exhaled softly beside me. "That's not right. Family is family."

I scrunched my eyebrows at the ceiling. "I keep thinking about why she did it. Why she changed."

"This new world brought out the best and worst in people," Alicia explained delicately. "You couldn't control that."

"But I should have," I retorted, glaring at nothing without realising. "It was my job to." The pain in my chest deepened, anger and hurt as sharp as ever, and I looked to Alicia helplessly. "Why couldn't I do it right?"

Alicia shook her head in disagreement, eyes flickering between mine. Sitting up slightly, leaning on one elbow, she pressed her hand to my cheek and began to wipe away the tears I hadn't realised had fallen.

"You tried your best," she told me with conviction. "She chose the path she did. She could have redeemed herself, but she didn't. She chose them over you, and that's not your fault, okay? Not at all."

I wanted to believe her – she made it so easy to. But right now, nothing seemed real, and every part of me was aching.

Alicia pulled me close and I ignored the pain in my stomach to lay on my side and cuddle into her, appreciating the warmth she gave.

"You've still got everybody here at the stadium, if it means anything," she murmured over my shoulder. "You still have this family. And you still have me."

"It means everything," I whispered, closing my eyes contently.

She got comfortable on my pillow and squeezed me tighter, reminding me that I wasn't alone, and I wondered how I'd gotten so lucky to have her in my life.

I didn't remember falling asleep. But the sound of someone moving around on the floorboards woke me up, and after squinting tiredly, I realised it was Alicia pulling her shoes on by the door.

She must have heard me waking up as she paused, glancing over at me, and that's when I noticed the swelling on her cheek turning darker in shade. The guilt deepened and I hated myself for letting her get hurt.

"Hey, sorry," she said quietly, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"What time is it?" I asked, sitting up and very much still sore all over.

"Dinner time. I was going to bring you some food back," she answered, before pulling on her last shoe and straightening up.

"Wait, I'll come with," I mumbled, before a tired groan escaped my lips as I attempted to stand up.

"You should rest," she told me with concern. "Please. I'll bring you some food back. We can eat here."

"I can go," I assured her, not wanting to stay put and sulk over everything that happened. "Just let me get ready."

She pursed her lips disapprovingly, but thankfully didn't stop me. As I busied myself with pulling on a jacket and my shoes, I spoke.

"Sorry for falling asleep on you."

"You don't need to apologise," she said kindly. "You needed it."

I sighed inwardly, appreciating that she stayed, even when I fell asleep. Things were still odd between us, the elephant in the room being that we never got chance to talk about our kiss and what it meant. Now, it felt like we would never get the chance.

When I was ready, I frowned to myself, lifting a hand instinctively at the aching in my face.

"Let me have a look," she said, noticing my discomfort, and I let her step forward and take a closer look.

I practically held my breath when she got so close, distracted by whatever was there, and I tried very hard not to meet her gaze.

"We can find you some ice for that black eye at dinner," she said, a frown ghosting her lips, before she stepped back. "C'mon."

"And for you," I reminded her, lifting my hand but catching myself before I could touch her cheek. "I..."

I was a fool.

"I'll get some, too, don't worry," she assured me, offering a small smile, but it did nothing to ease my guilt.

I struggled to follow after her, my body still sore with bruises, but managed to make it to the dining area. Alicia and I both grabbed our dinner trays before taking a seat, thankfully away from everyone, on a bench. As promised, she was able to get us both some ice from the kitchen which I instantly used on my eye, hoping it could help.

She didn't try to speak to me, which I appreciated, but I definitely felt her concerned glances every few seconds from across the table. I didn't comment on it, knowing she only worried, but it didn't feel great being watched over like a child.

We had almost finished eating when Madison stopped by our table to check in, eyes immediately falling to me with a similar expression to her daughter's.

"Y/N, I didn't expect to see you at dinner so soon," she said. "How are you doing?"

"I'll be okay," I told her with as much reassurance as I could muster, before continuing guiltily, "I'm sorry for leaving, Madison. Nobody should have had to come after me and endanger themselves. I should have listened to Alicia. If something had happened–"

"Hey, you don't need to apologise," she silenced me, resting a hand on my shoulder comfortingly, but I still felt horribly guilty at the thought of what could have happened. "Everybody who went after you chose to go on their own accord. We've all been through something here. And we know you were only trying to do right by your sister. I'm just sorry it didn't go to plan."

I pressed my lips together, humming halfheartedly.

"Alicia, you're on guard duty tomorrow," Madison changed the subject when she sensed I had nothing more to say. "Y/N, you were supposed to be on gardening, but you can take a break for a few–"

"No, no, I can do it," I cut her off, looking up at her.

"Y/N," Alicia said softly, earning my attention. She gave me a warning look. "You should take it easy. A lot has happened."

I shook my head. "No, keeping busy will help. I can't just sit around doing nothing. I've got this."

Alicia looked like she wanted to say more, but I looked to her mother instead, who I knew had the final say.

"Are you sure it won't be too much strain on you, Y/N?" Madison asked, quickly adding, "Physically, I mean. You should really rest. I'm sure Naomi would agree."

"I'll take it easy," I promised her.

Madison frowned slightly, seeming to internally debate whether or not to agree. And for whatever reason, she did. "Okay. I guess you're on gardening duty tomorrow."

I nodded gratefully, relieved to have something to divert my attention away from everything. Sitting still and doing nothing would have surely driven me up the wall.

Once Madison wished us both a good evening and left, I continued to finish off my food and tried to ignore the questioning look Alicia was sending my way.

"Y/N."

I risked looking up, being met with disapproval.

"I'll be fine," I said to her nonchalantly. "I had a life here before I... before I found Y/S/N. What happened doesn't change that."

"I know, but–"

"I just want to get back to it," I said sharply, without meaning to.

She sighed quietly, having no argument prepared. With a reluctant nod, she returned her attention to her food and we continued our meal in silence.

Over the next few weeks, I tried my best to return to a normal life, or as normal as it once was before I decided to track down my sister. But it was hard, processing everything I was feeling and recovering from all that had happened. It only pushed me in on myself, and as much as I was self-aware of that, I couldn't seem to fix it.

Y/S/N was gone... I knew that now. She'd changed and she didn't see me as anyone important in her life anymore. It was easier to pretend she was dead than to remember she was still out there, just not the sister I remembered her to be. I missed her dearly, but the old version of her. There wasn't anything I could do about it. I knew that now.

It didn't make it any easier to deal with though.

Alicia had been there for me, attentive and concerned and trying her best to help me, but I admittedly hadn't been as close to her as I once was. I didn't mean to distance myself, but mentally I was still a little lost, and the last thing I wanted was to bring her into it. It was just easier to push her away than to face my feelings head on.

I wasn't sure if she knew that, but she was smart so I wouldn't put it past her. For whatever reason though, she continued to be as supportive as she could. It reminded me of how she was when I'd first arrived at the stadium, with her putting in extra effort where she didn't need to and keeping a watchful eye on me. She was looking out for me like nobody ever had, and I appreciated it immensely. Yet making that appreciation known was a struggle right now. I didn't deserve her.

We still hadn't talked about our kiss... the timing wasn't right, and I'd accepted it might never be. It hurt a little, especially when I sometimes found myself daydreaming about the potential we had to be something amazing. But with everything with my sister, and our argument prior to that... life had gotten in the way, and neither of us had brought up the conversation of us. I didn't blame her for it – she was only being considerate of my feelings, no surprise there. But I wasn't going to bring it up either, not sure I could. So, maybe it was the past now.

Or at least that's what I thought.

One evening, long after dinner and when I was reading in my room, I heard a knock on my door. Only one person tended to visit me, so I wasn't surprised when I saw Alicia on the other side, smiling mischievously. Her bruise was almost nonexistent now, to my relief. It had only reminded me of what could have happened.

"I have a surprise," she said before I could say anything, wiggling her brows.

I sighed quietly, trying not to sound rude. "Maybe not now, Alicia..."

Her enthusiasm remained as her smile widened, unaffected by my sour mood. "You'll love it."

She was so hopeful about whatever this was, radiating her usual optimism, that I couldn't find it in myself to push her away tonight. And, though I couldn't truly admit it, I really missed her.

"What?" I asked patiently.

She grinned before revealing whatever was hidden behind her back. "Ta-da!"

My eyes flickered down to the box in her hand, realising it was a puzzle. Surprised, I lifted my eyebrows slightly.

"I know it's not the solution," she said, her smile fading as she grew serious. "You're grieving your sister. It's a lot, and you've been through a lot, and you haven't been yourself since."

I swallowed hard, unsure what to say now that she was confronting me with everything I couldn't admit aloud.

"And I'm not sure sure how to help," she continued softly, "but this seemed to do the trick last time and I know you need a new one. So... here."

She held it towards me nervously and I looked between the box and her, my heart fluttering in my chest without question.

"Thank you," I spoke reluctantly, accepting the puzzle.

A relieved smile fell upon her lips before she cleared her throat and awkwardly put her hands by her sides. "You don't need to invite me in to do it or anything," she added, as if thinking about the first time. "It's yours, for you."

She paused, chewing on her lip, taking a small step back, before meeting my eyes apologetically.

"I'll give you some space," she said with a nod, and I'd never seen her so jumpy before. "I'm sorry if I've been in your business a lot recently. I've just been worried about you..." She looked away, pursing her lips awkwardly, before continuing, "But after some advice from my idiot brother, I know it can be too much. I don't want you to feel smothered, so I just wanted to tell you that I'm... well, I'm here for you, but at a distance. I– yeah."

I watched her closely, shocked at how somebody could be so lovely. How was it possible for someone to care this much? Nobody had ever gone through this much effort with me before, never enough to think they're being clingy. She always went the extra mile, always treated me so kindly, always made sure I was okay.

It wasn't fair how close we'd gotten to having something together. Everything had been ruined between us, but it didn't have to be. I could change that. I had to.

"Oh, no... did I do the wrong thing?" she suddenly asked, and I realised she was frowning because I hadn't spoken. "Look, Y/N, I can take it back and–"

I couldn't take it anymore. I stepped forward and kissed her, deeply and passionately and fervently. She didn't react, surprised at my actions, and then I pulled apart and met her eyes with nothing to lose.

"I love you," I admitted, my heart hammering in my chest. "I'm in love with you. I wanted to tell you the day after we kissed, but then everything with my sister happened and the timing wasn't right. But now... it might be. I hope."

She looked between my eyes, searching with concern. "Are you sure?" she asked considerately. "I don't want to rush you, Y/N, or make you feel like–"

"You're not," I promised her. "It is."

She nodded slowly, then her lips curved into a smile. "Good. Because I'm in love with you, too."

I began to smile, too, my whole body on fire from her words, and then I leaned forward to kiss her again. This time, she was prepared and began to move her lips against mine delicately, sending shivers down my spine. Her hand caressed my cheek as she tilted her head, kissing me with finality before pulling away. It was so much better than any kiss we'd shared, though I was certain that was because I knew she loved me now.

"Will you come in to do the puzzle with me?" I asked, not quite moving away from her, enjoying the feeling of her hands holding me close. "I don't want space, you're not smothering me. I just want you."

Her thumb stroked my skin gently as her green eyes flickered between mine. "I'd love to."

Reluctantly, I stepped away from her to invite her in, both relieved and excited to have her here with me again.

My life had changed for the worst when I first lost Y/S/N, and I was certain it would remain that way, but it turned out that that was the best thing to happen to me in a long time.

All thanks to one person.

#fear the walking dead #fear the walking dead imagine #feartwd #ftwd #ftwd imagine #alicia clark imagine #alicia clark x you #alicia clark #alicia clark x reader #alycia debnam carey

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o-sn4pple · 10 days

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after reader and furina get involved in a messy altercation, the chief justice begins to question the archon's safety under the reader and temporarily suspends reader. reader later finds out or listens in on furina defending them and saying they're the only one she wants guarding her

- 🫡

Furina x gn!Reader, I guess technically a follow-up to this?

i guess i'm exposing my love for master/guard dog dynamics with this one. it got a bit more horny than i meant it to be 😭

Somehow, despite being outnumbered thirty to one, Furina sits in Neuvillette's office completely unharmed. You, on the other hand, are laying in the infirmary a building over, more gauze than skin and expression downcast.

"What do you mean 'suspended'?" she snaps, voice a gunshot in the silence of the Palais Mermonia. "What point is there in suspending them when they're doing their job?"

"Are they?" Neuvillette asks. Even when he sits, he is still eye level to Furina. It only makes her feel even smaller than usual, especially when he frowns. "Need I remind you, Lady Furina, that their duties are to protect you from all harm, including yourself?"

"I-What?!" Furina sputters, face burning. "Are you implying that it was my fault that we were attacked by a bunch of lowly Treasure Hoarders?"

"Of course not, Lady Furina. What I mean is that they are not meant to indulge in your suggestions if they could bring harm, especially without my knowledge." Neuvillette's brows pinch, eyes a familiar blend of frustration and concern. "What were you two doing so far from the court at this hour?"

Furina can hear the unspoken follow-up question, but she already knows her answer. No, you did not tempt her into leaving the court for your own nefarious purposes. It had all been her idea: a chance for fresh air, away from the stifling pressure of her bedroom and the prophecy. She'd had a terrible trial to preside over, as well, listening to a Treasure Hoarder spit curses at her as he was dragged away. Still, she knew better than to brave the wilds alone, so she knocked on your door at three in the morning. She almost backed down when she saw your sleep-adled face, but you just told her to wait a few minutes upon hearing her order before coming back in full uniform and a basket of snacks.

"What kind of outing would it be without food?" you had said. The basket now lays in tatters in the water after you used it to wrangle a Hoarder away from her.

"Does..." Furina swallows the bubbling guilt in her throat and scowls. "Does it matter, Neuvillette? I don't recall hounding you for information every time you go on a stroll."

"Perhaps not, but it will make my decision on their current occupation easier."

Furina gawks, but Neuvillette does not yield. He really plans on suspending you for just doing your job. He's going to suspend you because Furina had been selfish and dragged you along. "Do you plan on replacing them, then?"

"If I must, yes. But-"

"Don't bother." Furina crosses her arms, almost surprised at her own bitter tone. "I doubt there will be anyone else that can match their caliber."

The silence makes her squirm, but she refuses to look up until the Chief Justice says, "I am...perplexed." He massages the bridge of his nose. "When I had first offered a bodyguard, you'd vehemently refused and claimed you did not need one. Now, I plan to offer a different course of action without one, and yet you refuse to let them go. Why is that?"

Why, indeed? After a hundred years of existence, Furina knows exactly why. It's the same reason why she sought you out earlier this morning, why she finds herself making excuses to require your presence on her days off. But how does she explain that to Neuvillette? He is as dense as a Gardemek thrown into the lake.

She can't, she decides. At least, not yet. Now, she needs to find some way to keep you as hers...her bodyguard. Right.

Neuvillette is still waiting for an answer, so she lets out an exasperated sigh and rolls her eyes. "Existence is transient, like the waters that flow before the Opera Epiclese. Is it not normal that my opinions change as well?"

"Considering you threatened to fire me when I first introduced you to the guard, yes."

"I-That's because you just-just sprung them on me without warning! If you had just told me ahead of time and gotten my consent, I wouldn't have cared!" Furina throws her arms up for emphasis, but Neuvillette's low chuckle stuns her.

"I see." The Iudex nods to himself, apparently satisfied with her answer. "If that is the case, then what do you suggest we do?"

Furina swallows. She didn't think he would actually ask for her opinion. What could she do? She doubts he will allow you to remain her bodyguard. You're an excellent combatant. Perhaps she could appoint you as a Champion Duelist, but then you would be busy with the rest of the duelers and would have little time to answer her summons. Same would go for Marechausse Phantom-hood.

Ugh, it would be so much easier if you could just keep the-wait. Furina perks up as her thoughts begin to stir. "I have a suggestion."

It does hurt her heart when Furina finally visits you that evening. She'd made sure you received the best care they had in Fontaine, and the doctor reassured her that you would pull through after patching you up. Still, it took eighteen stitches for an axe wound in your shoulder and an extra two for a stab wound in your ribs. That and a blood transfusion.

You're sitting up and awake, though, and that's what matters. "Lady Furina?"

"Be at ease," Furina dismisses as she perches on the stool by your bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I am...well, my lady, but what about you?" You lean this way and that, like you're trying to check her for any injuries. It almost makes Furina's heart flutter, if not for you grimacing with every move. The doctor had said he would not use his Vision to heal you entirely, since non-Vision holders react differently to elemental energy. You must be in worse pain than you admit.

"Even if you were not around, I would have been fine," she says, "but not a hair on my head was touched, thanks to your efforts. A commendable feat, I might add. Standing thirty to one is no small task."

You let out a weak laugh. "A few of them ran away before I could even touch them, Lady Furina. I don't think that would count as thirty."

Yes, only four. Furina remembers it quite clearly because they had run past her hiding spot after you knocked someone unconscious with your fist. She just huffs. "Semantics. My point is, I have decided to reward your efforts!" She plants her hands on her hips, smile smug. "Rejoice, for you shall now become my personal equerry. Once you have fully recovered, you will report to me first thing in the morning."

And, oh, how clever! When you'd originally been hired, you had a set schedule to follow. As an equerry, not only would you maintain your usual duties of protecting Furina, but it would give her plenty of reason to have you at her side when she is not traveling around.

"W-Wait, wait," you say, brows pinched with confusion. "Are you...promoting me? Even after that fight?"

"Did you expect me to demote you?" Furina asks in surprise.

"Admittedly, I thought you would execute me." You rub at your neck sheepishly. "I should have known better than to take you away from the court after that trial. The Treasure Hoarders were probably waiting to strike, so-"

You stop. It takes Furina second to realize that she's holding up a hand to silence you. She can understand Neuvillette's concerns about you, but to hear that you are blaming yourself for her mistake? This won't do.

So she clears her throat and rises, schooling her expression until she feels her usual mask reserved for particularly cruel trials. You had called it her 'True Archon' face. Seems quite fitting considering what she's about to say.

"As the Archon of Justice, do you think it not fitting that I choose the punishment for my own people?" Furina pauses just long enough for you to start squirming. "All of this commotion has only proven one thing: your presence as a mere bodyguard is not enough. The fools that wish to harm me know you are only a hired hand. How am I supposed to feel protected if I know you are only here for a bi-weekly pay?"

The furrow in your brow only deepens. "But this is...a punishment?"

"Hmph. Let me speak plainly." To Furina's own surprise, her hand shoots out, fingers grazing the thick gauze padding your throat before pressing a finger under your chin. You lift your head obediently, wide-eyed stare flooding her veins with so much satisfaction and confidence that she can't help it. She leans in close and states, "You will be my attendant. You will serve me, dedicate your time to me, be willing to lay down your life for me. Only then will I feel safe. That is my decision as Archon."

False Archon. Something in Furina thinks she does not deserve this confidence. What right does she have to make this declaration, to decide your life for you? Really, it is selfish of her to decide this. Would it not have been better to follow Neuvillette's suggestion and let you go? If you continue to serve her, just how much more pain will you endure?

She feels your skin shift as you swallow, her own mouth running dry when you mutter, "I see." And you have the nerve to lean forward, forcing her hand to uncurl and cradle the full weight of your head in her palm, like a hound to its master. "Then I accept my punishment, Lady Furina. I shall serve however you see fit."

Furina doesn't fool herself into thinking she isn't turning pink at your tone. She can't let you have the last word! You're supposed to be her retainer. You're supposed to be beneath her!

N-Not...like that, but still!

Furina steels herself and smiles. "Good. Now!" She jerks her hand away, nearly apologizing when you almost tip over from the lack of support. "First order of business: heal up. Afterwards, we need to visit a boutique. I refuse to have my personal equerry look like a regular garde. You look best in white, but that would get far too dirty..." In the corner of her eyes, she sees your body sag with exhaustion and tuts. "Fine, fine. I'll let you rest first, but tomorrow-"

"I will meet you at the Palais Mermonia," you offer, a soft smile on your face. "I will bring breakfast as well to make up for this morning's attempt."

Furina's stomach twists as she returns the smile. It's because of the idea of a fresh breakfast, she hopes. "Wonderful. And make sure it is still warm!" She gives your shoulders a firm shove, easing you on your back. "Now, get some sleep."

"As you wish," you sleepily mumble before tensing. "Who is escorting you back to the Palais Mermonia?"

"Hah, I don't need an escort for such a short distance," Furina says. After all, she'd walked over to here from Neuvillette's office on her own. You don't seem convinced. You start pushing to sit up, like you plan on walking out of here. Furina just squeaks and forces you back down, her Archon persona splintering. "Don't you dare!"

"My lady, if my duty is to keep you safe-"

"You're already injured as is!" Furina pokes your gauze for emphasis, almost apologizing when you flinch. Instead, she huffs and plops back onto her seat. "Would you rather I wait here, then?"

"I would." And, as you sink back into the blankets, you cheekily add, "I can make space here, if you'd like."

Furina just scowls and mutters, "I should have just let Neuvillette demote you..."

To which you blink, grin, and say, "Ah, so my promotion was all your doing?"

"I-No-I-" Furina glares at you, face scalding hot. "As your Archon, my first order is for you to cease this nonsense at once!"

Your laughter does her no favors, but it gets you to settle. "My apologies, Lady Furina, but this expression suits you better than your frown."

...Furina is almost tempted to smack you, only to sigh in defeat. Next time, she thinks. At least you're starting to act like your usual self. "Just go to sleep," she orders, "before I reverse my decision."

You just smile and tug the blanket to your chin. "Of course, my lady. As you wish."

#genshin impact #snapple drabbles #genshin furina x reader

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rriavian · 3 months

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Hey. I hope the beginning of the year is going very well. While thinking about Sandman again, something came to my mind. We know that when Burgess imprisoned Morpheus, it was for the benefit of Corinthian and that's why he tried to keep him in prison and even tried all means to do so. But Corinthian was certainly aware that Burgess would not harm Dream. He also tried to get Rose to kill Dream. But in the end, it would be thanks to Corinthian's manipulations that Rose would harm Dream. I don't know how to call it, it may sound ridiculous but...

What if enemies like Lucifer or the two gods who previously tried to destroy Dreaming actually harm Dream? Would Corinthian defend his creator, or see that he was useful in this and help destroy them? What I really wonder is whether Corinthian's loyalty to its creator is more important than its own interests.

Always a pleasure to get an ask from you!! I am so sorry this took so long to answer! It’s been a very busy month and I’ve been terrible at keeping on top of things, but thank you so much for the question. I love it when people ask me things like this <3

First, let’s consider what we know from canon.

There is an interesting trajectory to the Corinthian’s approach to his conflict with Dream. In episode one he advises Burgess on how to keep him trapped, and then 100 years later the Corinthian decides to seemingly escalate to an actual murder attempt.

I’ve think I’ve written meta about this before, but when I watched the show I never believed that the Corinthian seriously thought Rose could actually kill Dream. However I do think it’s clear that he saw an opportunity to gain the upper hand, and I think that’s a very big part of what motivates the Corinthian’s decision making. Other motivations aside, the situation with Burgess and the later situation with Rose both have that in common—they are opportunities to gain an advantage over Dream, just with differing limits in the scale of damage they are able to cause.

Scale is something the Corinthian seems very good at estimating, and something he always seeks to maximise. He doesn't necessarily escalate purely out of his own desire to harm Dream; what he does in both scenarios is push right to the limit of what advantage his chosen chess pieces are capable of winning for him.

He knew Burgess wouldn’t be able to harm Dream, knew that the limit of Burgess’s capabilities was to keep him trapped, didn’t so much aim low as take full advantage of the tools available to him. With Rose he realised that she might be capable of much, much more than keeping Dream trapped, and so he used exactly the same principle as always while knowing it had the potential for a much higher reward.

The Corinthian also did the same with John Burgess (if lighter touch) by following him to make sure that he would make it to Dream’s ruby. He didn’t need to actually go with him for that plan to work, just needed to make sure he got the ruby and knew he'd then point it at the right target.

I was tempted to go off topic and make a point about the Corinthian never stepping directly into Dream's path until forced to, but I've made it before so we're going to move on. I'm going to leave this point at how the three big threats to Dream in season one were all set up/assisted in some way by the Corinthian.

Where am I going with this? Well, my second point is that the Corinthian tailored how he interacted with them to be exactly what was required to get them to do what he wanted. And he did it by offering to help them get exactly what they want. This fails with Ethel Cripps because she's probably one of the only people who didn’t fall for his tricks (and whose goals he didn't accurately deduce) but it usually worked with minimal interference on his part.

The Corinthian executes/gently nudges his plans into place through:

a) one long chat with Burgess

b) a mere few seconds with John

and c) a road trip with Jed that acts as an in for his later discussions with Rose (which is the most elaborate set up by far, probably because of how dangerous she is as the vortex and how much work it will take to get her on side)

Now, turning to your actual question (sorry for the long set up!) but in a canon setting I 100% believe that season one Corinthian finds the idea of loyalty to Dream quite repulsive. He'd squash any such urge viciously! It would feel like a personal failing, I think, for him to be tempted to defend his creator for that reason alone. So I think he'd do exactly what he was doing in the show and take full advantage of any favourable opportunity to help take Dream out.

I just don’t believe that he seriously understands what would happen if he succeeds/even really wants that outcome.

One reason for this is because Dream can’t really be killed, or even destroyed. The personification of dreams is essential to the universe (perhaps in some ways dreamt up by it). So while we could argue about whether ‘Morpheus’ could be destroyed Dream absolutely cannot.

The Corinthian would know that. So to him it’s a moot point, he can arrange as many attacks on Dream as he wants, can even attack him directly if ever he thought he had the power, but Dream will never, ever die. I think part of him enjoys that, being able to throw everything he can at him as many times as he wants. Does that make the Corinthian's quest for freedom meaningless? Not necessarily, because there are other ways to win (such as trapping him) and Rose’s power as a vortex might have been a real game changer if the Corinthian had been successfully able to direct how she used it.

(I say might have because I don’t think the Corinthian was right in his understanding of her powers – Rose would have destroyed the universe and herself)

The Corinthian very clearly wants to be able to murder/do what he wants to his hearts content without Dream’s (very justifiable) disapproval. There are more complexities within that, and I could probably write a whole essay on his motivations, but this post is long enough already. What I think it comes down to is that the Corinthian aligns himself with those he perceives as being able to help him keep his agency and avoids those that might threaten it. He uses people who he doesn’t consider a danger to him, and even if they do have some power (like Rose) he is very careful in choosing those targets, and how he approaches them.

Above I said that the Corinthian would take advantage of a favourable opportunity to gain an advantage and I think that's a very important distinction.

One could argue that Lucifer would have been by far the most powerful ally the Corinthian could have, but they’d have been too powerful, and potentially too unpredictable due to their own goals. The truth is he'd mostly likely be unable to manipulate them while remaining in control. The Corinthian was going for a very precise, surgical strike (to take out/disable Dream) and wouldn’t have taken such a risk while he had alternatives available. He allies with/influences only those that he thinks he can manipulate, if not outright control, to produce his desired outcome.

So if a threat to Dream could also turn out to be a threat to him (say if an enemy came to destroy not only Dream but all of his creations) then the Corinthian would, perhaps not side with his creator, but he’d definitely oppose the threat itself. What that might look like would depend on the scenario/threat, but it could make for some very interesting AUs.

#the Corinthian #dream of the endless #the sandman #sandman meta #spoilers for season one only #as always this answer got long #rria attempts to write meta #character meta

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lootsofathousandsworld · 8 months

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Do you think you could do a oneshot where Flint is raiding a ship and he comes across the reader; the reader is a servant on the ship, (maybe working for a wealthy noble), and got caught trying to escape the crossfire?

Ahh i see what I can do with this! :D

Hope you enjoy it and sorry if the gammers are wonky.

Flint X Reader: Servant and a Pirate.

You were caught in the middle of the crossfire between the navy and pirate that were raiding the ship you were on.

It all happened so fast. One minute you were out to fetch something for your master and all of sudden, as if you were in an unexpected war, a cannon start shooting at the merchant ship.

And your instinct now is to stay alive much as you can.

Many pirates begin invading the deck and the soldiers use all they’re strength to push them back. Straight ahead you saw a door that leads to down below deck where the longboats are at.

You took a deep breath and splint across while avoiding on getting shot. But you bumped into someone since you were too focus on the door you barely known your surrounding.

You perk up to see who it was and your face grew pale. The person who you crash into was no other than Captain Nathaniel Flint, the leader of his pirate crew. You heard stories about him. About how he was cruel and bloodthristy towards his victims and the last thing you want to do is to meet with this monster.

Shaking off your frozen with fear, you pass him and ran towards your only escape. Running down the stairs towards the hallway you make your way towards the longboat room and saw people up ahead running to that room.

But you felt a sudden chill making you stop. You feel as if someone was watching you. Your head made a slight turn and you let out a fright scream to see the Captain staring down at you. Before you can make a run, he snatch your arm and you scream more and struggle to break his grip.

"Let go of me!" You cried and pray someone hears you. "Help somebody! Help me!"

"Shut up," He sneered which made you stop in fright. "I only want your gold."

You breathed heavily and shook your head. "But I don't have any.." He silence you by pointing your free wrist, which has two golden bracelets. "Those. now."

At this point it was your wise chose on giving them to him so he can let you go. But you cant right now, you needed them for purpose. With much courage you refused.

"I..I'm sorry I cant give them to you,"

You watch him roll all his eyes," Save your pathetic excuse about it belongs to your family members."

"No its not that!" You cut him. "I need to sell them for good money."

Flint gives you now a puzzle look. He slowly let your wrist free and asks,

"What?"

You quickly explained to him while rubbing your wrist. "I dont have enough money to buy more food. I barely have any even though I work for the wealthy family. After you were done he gives you a long look.

About a few second he forms a fang grin and starts to howl with laughter. You stood there, with much confusing on him sudden find this amusing.

He slowly ceased his laugh and spoke. "These rich pigs cant share they're riches with you? After you work with them so much?"

'They only give me a small payment," You answered almost wanting to defend them since they given you shelter and let you voyage with them.

"But its never enough to satisfy your need," He reminded you. This you cant find anything to defend with since he was mostly right. Then he got on his knee to look at you straight. You gulped to glance at his many pale yellow eyes and waited for him to say something.

"im offering you a choice lass," You almost gasp to hear this and let him finished.

"A choice if you join my crew, I can let you steal all riches from other wealthy where you'll never be worry about feeling hungry." His offering was tempting, even more with a thought on this act of revenge on these wealthy family you worked for many years.

But stealing wasn't your thing. You feel it was wrong to do since your life you were a good person. Before you can have a second thought Flint added with a dark tone.

"If not, you will die in flames like others boarded this ship," He held his hand out to you. "What is going to be?"

You stare at his hand as you in this situation of life and death. Thinking on if you join piracy maybe this was an easy way out of your stress on saving money. And thinking on how much food and other thing you can buy without worrying.

Finally decide on choosing, you nervously reach your hand out and took in his large bony hand. "As long as you let me steal riches, Captain.

Flint smiles at your decision holding your hand.

"Welcome to The Walrus lass,"

#answer #anon #treasure planet #oneshot #fanfiction #Nathaniel Flint #Self insert #self shipping #monster boyfriend #servant #this was fun to write not gonna lie :D #thanks for the asks!#hope you like it! :D :D

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teddybeartoji · 4 months

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HI HII im holding u at gunpoint to tell me all about bestie!gojo and roomie!gojo (both versions >:3) 🔫

LOGAN MY SWEET HIIIII!!!!! U BETTER BE HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER (OR ELSE)!!!!

okay okay okay so bestie!gojo is about gojo taking care of a tipsy reader lmao - he's gonna wash ur face and brush ur teeth and tuck u into the bed and it's so cute and sweet and i wanna pinch his cheeks so badly it's crazy. moss asked about the fluffy roomie!gojo i'm putting that here anndddd as for the suggestive little roomie!gojo drabble - that one is so unbelievably self-indulgent and i don't know how to defend myself on that... essentially it's about the reader having an annoying coworker who just won't leave them alone (😐😐) and gojo proposes that he could mark them up yk so it seems that they're taken hehehehe

bestie!gojo

finally he takes a clean towel and pats your face dry.

"evola!" he gestures to his work very proudly.

"it's 'et voila', stupid."

"whatever." he throws you an eye roll. his fingers ghost over your thighs, trying to find a place to rest.

"can we go to sleep now?"

we. it almost makes him fold - who is he to deny you anything? it's just one last thing though, he reassures himself.

"without brushing your teeth? i can't believe i'm friends with a monster like you." satoru scoffs as loudly as he can.

"fuckoff." you slur. "i am not brushing my teeth with your toothbrush, if that's what you're thinking."

"hello? that would've been super romantic, i don't see the problem."

you give him a weak punch against his shoulder, making him giggle like a schoolgirl.

"you're disgusting, satoru."

"you love it. and anyway - i have a new toothbrush just for you." he swiftly reaches over to where his toothbrush rests and grabs the one right next his one. a completely clean one, just bought for you.

"huh? how long has that been there? maybe it's dusty? i'm not sure you even brush your teeth, how can i trust anything you say?"

and because he's a fucking twelve year-old — he breathes right in your face, earning a way stronger punch against his shoulder.

"OWW!" it's his turn to whine now. whine and stifle another giggle because you're way too cute for your own wellbeing.

you refuse to admit that his breath actually did not smell bad at all. how the fuck does he do that?

roomie!gojo

"like what the fuck else am i supposed to say to him? how am i going to make him understand that i don't want him? that i have a..." a big sigh leaves your lips. "boyfriend."

your roommate pinches your calf. "i could always mark you up. you know, play your little boyfriend, hm?"

wait, what?

your eyes fly open but your gaze stays on the ceiling above you, not daring to look at him just yet. that would probably get the point across, right? are you really considering this? are you gonna let him do that? mark you up?

you slowly lower your eyes and look at him. the light glow from the tv in the background is making his eyes shine right back at you and he's smiling. he's always smiling, showing off the perfect rows of pearly whites. his lips look so pink and pretty. and glossy? and soft? and now you're really thinking about letting him do it, cover you in hickeys as long as you get to feel him against your skin. let his sharp canines sink into your neck and let him play your boyfriend.

satoru observes you staring at him, at his lips, deep in thought. he knows he got you, he just wants to hear you say it now. he needs you to ask for it.

"you're thinking about it." breaking the silence with his tease.

you rub your feet together in his lap, his hands still resting on your calves.

"and what if i am?" raising a brow at him, you try to keep your composure, to seem unaffected by his tempting offer.

his long fingers slither around one of your ankles. "aw, do you want me to be your boyfriend, pretty?" his free hand grabs your other ankle and he raises your feet off his lap and back onto the couch. he stands and takes a step closer to you while keeping his finger on you, draggin up your legs to your thighs.

"a fake boyfriend." you correct him.

he smirks.

and then he sits himself onto your lap, making a surprised gasp leave your throat. his thighs surround your hips, the two of you barely fit on the couch like this. a dark red blush covers your cheeks and you're finding it hard to look at him in this newly found position.

"so you do want me to do it." his fingers grab your chin and tilt it up, forcing you to look at him, doe eyes meeting his excited ones. "want me to mark you up, to let him know you're 'taken', right?"

his fingers move up and he squishes your cheeks. "i can do that."

your heart rate is reaching a new level, you actually might be dying. are you letting him do this? are you seriously letting your annoyingly cocky roommate with his stupid pretty blue eyes and his even stupider smile do this?

yes.

definitely yes.

#THANK U FOR ASKING ABOUT THESE HEHEHEH #this is so fun wtf #i wanna finish these so badly #U LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK #love uu #logan <3 #friends!!#wip game #mickey can't stop thinking

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archivalofsins · 8 months

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@seariii I want you to know this is the most wholesome thing I've read regarding someone liking Kotoko in a while.

Also, you were right, the points we're seeing being made are from different places. Most of the defenses for Amane's mother's actions I saw were on twitter directly after the release of Purge March. The misogyny point has come up on multiple platforms though. I do know that people can be very insistent/aggressive when it comes to Amane being Innocent, but I've only heard of that happening. I haven't seen it myself because I'm not in the tag often on here due to reasons.

Although I must admit some of the times that I personally have discussed Amane I've been pushy about it and discussed her case in a way that can come off as self-righteous while comparing it to other prisoners' cases. However, that was directly after seeing people defending her mother's behavior while voting her guilty. Something that is ultimately not a thing I feel should be supported.

Her mother was wrong and it's really unfair to me that the depiction of an abuser is being sympathized with and given more leniency than the person they are portrayed abusing. So, I ended up being more aggressive than I should have been at times as well.

It is stressful to hear things like Kotoko may be beaten up during the intermission. It's a very valid concern for people who care about her character to have but it's a worry that everyone in the fandom shares when it comes to the safety of the prisoners that they care about. Ultimately, we can't really control what the prisoners do after the trial which can be very anxiety inducing for everyone involved. Especially since no one wants any of the characters to be lost before trial three. It's really complicated.

I haven't seen much about Kotoko being attacked outside of the context of Shidou with his "extract that fang" line. Which to be fair given how some within the fandom have discussed Amane's during her second trial he'd probably cease to be a threat to Kotoko's safety if she were voted Innocent. So, in that since Kotoko enjoyers and Amane enjoyers should probably just form an alliance. Logistically it'd be a reasonable course of action even if a bit unfair.

It would also be a better outcome than what occurred with Haruka and Mu this trial. Plus, could have fun narrative implications if brought to the writer's attention I mean this was said in the trial two commencement notice after all-

As they literally made visual allusions to trading and bargaining. Literally this is what comes up when you search bargaining in google.

Milgram isn't really being subtle or slick about it. They're just waiting to see which prisoners' fans are most successful at it at this point. Milgram has sort of been tempting guards to make deals with each other since the start of trial two. Well at least to me that's what it seems like.

The prisoners have even formed some alliances of their own or attempted to do so since the beginning. Milgram has implied we have more of an impact than we know and that some prisoners will change their behavior if they know it will benefit them.

Like this answer of Kotoko's for example,

How would that impact prisoner relationships? The prisoners can hear us after all if they know that we're in support of certain relationships and not others. I wonder how that would go especially attached to positive reinforcement. It could be wild and interesting.

What's a bit of harmless discussion between guards after all? Things like this are much better than going back and forth for each other's throat's tit for tat. Outside of that bit of deluded talk- Because coordination like that in this sort of situation is a pipe dream at this point.

Please keep talking about Kotoko because it's literally restoring my faith in humanity it may be difficult to fully understand but- I thought I was losing it there for a minute.

#gunsli rambles

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ryverbind · 1 year

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Faceless Fixation {Sal Fisher}: Choke On My D-- [3]

My night was filled with banter and laughter. If I'm being completely honest, it was even more amazing than I imagined it would be.

I grew up with the mindset of "do what makes the most money, not what you want to do." So actually enjoying my job for once feels different. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make enough with playing games online with my friends, but I'd be elated if I could because I genuinely enjoy it.

I don't want to go back to the way things were before.

Sally Face was quiet for most of the night, only really talking when directly spoken to. But what he didn't do— no matter what— was speak to me. Never addressed me. Never acknowledged me again. He ignored any attempts I made to bring him into our conversations (which didn't happen often, by the way) and he would even scoff at the sound of my voice.

But it didn't bother me all that much. Over the course of the night, I amassed thousands of new subscribers and followers between each one of my social media accounts. It's shocking to say the least, but very welcome. I'm not sure if those numbers will continue to grow or if this is just a spur of the moment excitement for The Faces fans, but I'm anxious to see where things go.

And Sally Face never called or texted "Lexi." Not once.

My guess is that I pissed him off enough to shut him up completely.

Larry, Ash, and Todd posted their recordings to Youtube. Sally hasn't yet, but going through comments has been quite interesting. I think, with the way people are enjoying me and Sally's arguing, I may be able to make something out of this.

One such thread of comments goes as so:

sllyfcefannn: Sally is a MENACE LMAO ashypoosbby: wtf is even happening sallyfacesallyfacee: he was quick with it too hahaaa larry4lyfe: Why is Sally such an asshole tho-- sxllyfxce28: nah they rlly dont need more people in The Faces. four is enough. bye violetviolence, go somewhere else. ashintheair: Honestly feel bad for VioletViolence. she's so sweet and she was so kind when she introduced herself and Sally was just such a dick. like imagine hearing this as a fan (which she is). so heartbreaking. toddsdaddy: agreed. he could've been a LOT more sensitive like??

I look through more comments beneath my own video, smiling the entire time as I get dressed for work. I'm still stuck wearing glasses, but I don't mind. I'm used to them for right now and there isn't much that could break my excitement of having people actually defend me and enjoy my video.

It's fortifying.

My shift is a short 8-12 that goes by even more quickly with the aid of tons of comments and likes giving me something to look forward to throughout the day.

As I'm walking home and enjoying the afternoon sun, Ash calls me.

With a startled flinch, I pull my phone from my pocket and quickly accept the call when I realize who it is. Why would she be calling?

"Y/n-- sorry, I guess I should call you Vi now, right?" Ash curses quietly then starts over again. "Vi! Hi, how are you, guess what!!!"

I smile, unable to stop a small giggle from slipping past my lips. Ash is so precious. She can't hide her true intentions-- she only called me to tell me about something interesting.

"I'm well, Ash. Most of that is thanks to you," I reply happily, ingesting the tempting sight of various stores around me. Downtown LA. "What's up?"

Ash practically squeals, a shuffling sound coming from the other end of the call. "Guess who's going to fucking Vegas!?"

My eyebrows raise and my heart skips a beat as I pause my steps. Ash heading to Vegas? That's ridiculously close. Even if it's still hours away, the thought of finally being near her again after all these years makes my heart race to the point that I feel a bit lightheaded.

"What? Really?" I breathlessly ask, looking down at the bright cement beneath my feet. My stomach feels tight and a lump begins to form in my throat. I really want a chance to see Ash, though I'm not sure I have the money to take an unplanned trip to Las Vegas...

"YES!" She screams again. I can even hear her feet pittering around her room-- the thought of her running in excitement makes my elation grow to insane heights. I feel like running through the streets and screaming myself. "We'll be going to Vegas in three weeks! It's for an exclusive party at some club. I got you a ticket. I'll send it!"

My brows scrunch together. She got me into some VIP event? "How did you get a ticket for me? And who's we-- do you mean me and you?"

"Ooo, fun question!" Ash whispers morbidly. "The host of the event asked me about you first. Didn't know if you'd be into going somewhere so social! But they love your intro into the tech and gaming world. Especially the tension between you and Sal! That part was easy. I hardly had to say a word." She giggles proudly to herself whereas I wince.

I don't want Sally and I to be some kind of spectacle to the world. I don't want people to know me as that random girl that argues with Sally Face because he just can't help but hate her guts. I want to be that nice girl that plays games. I want to be VioletViolence and I want to be known for it.

"And by 'we' I mean all of us! You, me, Larry, Todd, and Sal!"

I chew the inside of my cheek, feeling unwelcome tears sting my eyes as my heart drops into the acidic depths of my stomach. An involuntary sigh escapes my lips as I think of how to tell Ash that I'm absolutely not going to Vegas with The Faces.

"That sounds... fun," I murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and tilting my head to the sky to stop my tears from falling. "I appreciate the invite, but I don't think I... have the funds to go." My claim isn't exactly a lie, but I'm almost thankful for it right now. I can't go to Las Vegas if Sally is going to be there.

We don't get along. The two of us are a ticking bomb-- except none of us know how long the countdown is before it blows. It's an issue. I don't want to reunite with my friends then immediately jump into arguments and fights with Sally. That would be so embarrassing for me and for Larry, Todd, and Ash. I do not want that.

I'm forgetting that the most important reason why I can't go to Vegas is because Sal knows the face behind VioletViolence. He would hate 'Lexi' if he were to find out that she and VioletViolence are one. I want him to like at least one thing about me even if he doesn't know that it's me.

Then again, why should I care if he dislikes every version of me? He's shown his distaste in various ways. He's been a complete ass, so why defend him? Why do I want him to like me?

"Y/n-- Vi," Ash corrects herself with a hiss, effectively pulling me from my thoughts. "I'll cover your trip. Just, please, come see us. The guys miss you."

"Not all of them." I laugh humorlessly, kicking a pebble at my feet.

"You know what I mean. Sally has no say in what happens anyway. We won't let him bother you-- just come!" Ash pleads. If she were with me right now, I just know she would be grabbing my hands and giving me her puppy dog eyes.

My teeth clamp down on my bottom lip with a force I can't control. I crack my knuckles, scuff my foot on the ground. I feel apprehensive-- I don't want to have to tell Ash the truth on why I don't want to go, but I know it's getting close to that.

"I don't want anyone to see my face, Ash. It's not a good idea for me to go..." I trail off, picking at the skin on my fingers and hoping that she'll at least accept that.

"We can figure something out, Vi. Just say yes and we'll handle everything else when the time comes, but I can promise you now that your identity will remain a secret. No one will know who you are." Ash tries to bargain, her soft and soothing voice nearly persuading me.

I squeeze my eyes shut. "I can't, Ash." Gosh, I don't want to upset her. "You know how I feel about you paying for me. Plus, there's really no way to hide myself from everyone. Think about it. And..." She'll fight me on everything else because she wants this so bad, so I'll throw the truth in. "I don't want to be around Sally. It would be bad for all of us. Deep down, you know that, too."

Ash sighs disappointedly, but I can tell she isn't going to push me anymore. "I understand. I'm sorry if I was crossing a line. I just... I really miss you. It's been nearly a decade. I really fucking wish Sal wasn't such an ass either. He's never acted that way before. He's normally a very soft, humble guy. I don't know what his problem is. I'm... I'm sorry, Y/n."

I don't know what his issue with me is, but I believe Ash now that I've gotten the chance to talk with Sal-- no ties to anyone, just the two of us. He didn't know a thing about me and because of that, I got to see a side of him I didn't expect. He was sweet, kind, and giving. I enjoyed that personality. He was open and happy to get to know me.

"I believe you. Maybe it's just me. No matter who I am, he just has something against me." I lick my dry lips, an iron taste on my tongue. I must have bitten my lip too hard. "And thank you for understanding. I do appreciate the invite and I miss you more than anything, but it's not quite time yet."

"That's okay, babe. I'll wait for you forever. And Sal shouldn't have anything against you. You do not deserve that, not with how incredibly precious you are." Ash perks up a bit, a smile in her voice.

Hearing her more upbeat tone makes my worrisome thoughts and racing heart calm down a bit. "Oh, well. People will hate. It's whatever."

"He'll come around eventually," Ash says softly. She's quiet for a moment then says, "Well, hey. We're getting online again tonight if you want to join."

I take a deep breath, looking up at the road ahead of me. There are people everywhere. It's a beautiful day. "Yea, that sounds good. I'll be free all afternoon."

"Great! Just check Discord every once in a while. We'll figure out a time and a game there! You gonna try Twitch tonight?" Ash asks.

"I think I will," I answer. It's time I start going where I'll get money-- if I get money. Doesn't hurt to put everything into swing though. "You think I have a chance with this, Ash?" I ask, my voice betraying my vulnerability. Truthfully, I'm afraid of trying and failing at this because I truly loved playing with everyone last night.

"Oh, honey," Ash's voice is gentle and comforting like a nice, warm hug. One that I desperately wish I could get from her. "I know you've got this. You already have over eight thousand new subscribers on Twitch. That's a fantastic start. It took me a while to get there. Not to mention, people love you. I love you. Larry and Todd love each side of you."

A genuine smile pulls at my lips and I find myself fighting off tears again. Ash reminds me of my dad-- they are both just so easy to talk to. I feel like I can tell them anything. I'd admit every one of my darkest secrets to both of them and know I wouldn't be judged. To me, that's one of the truest, purest forms of love.

All of my secrets except for the fact that I've already met Sally Face.

"Thank you, Ash. It's all thanks to you. I love you so much and I can't wait to continue this journey with you and the guys," I say gratefully. And you know what, I can't be too angry about Sally because our arguments got me some traction, too. "Even Sally," I decide to add.

"That's the spirit!" Ash claps her hands, the sound reverberating through my ears. "I'll see you online tonight, 'kay?"

"See you then. I love you," I tell her, waiting for her to hang up the call with an unbeatable, winning smile on my face. I'm looking forward to getting home.

"Je t'aime, mon couer!" Ash blows a kiss then ends the call, leaving me alone in the Los Angeles wilderness-- nothing I'm not already used to.

I feel happier than I did at the beginning of our call. Ash was reassuring and just as helpful as she always is. Even if I won't get to see her in Vegas, I'm happy knowing that she'll be close by.

Walking further down the street, I look between various stores and window-shop. There are tons of nice things. For example, a tiara and crystal store-- what a combination!

The sun beats down on me in what would normally be an uncomfortable way, but today, it feels restoring. The ridiculous heat feels like a sign of a new start.

A glance to my right causes me to do a sudden double take though and I find myself distracted from any previous thoughts.

That's something interesting. I walk closer to a shop, letting my eyes wander over all the goodies inside the window. Of all things, half of an answer sits before me. An answer that I never would have come up with on my own-- and yet, here it is. All and only because I realized that this could conceal me. Maybe not at this exact moment, but it has potential. And I want it.

Without a second thought, I pull my eyes away from the window and gaze at the door to the shop instead. I don't worry about funds, I don't think about how odd it'll be for me to keep this in my room-- unused. But I need it because this gives me an actual opportunity to go visit Ash, Larry, and Todd someday.

It's a mask store.

I walk in, listening to the door jingle behind me. The store is small, but very personal and unique. The walls are black and littered with various masks all with different styles, colors, and designs.

Beads and other decorations hang from the black ceiling, adding a bit of color to the void above. It's only a bit of decoration to aid the music in the room, but it works incredibly well.

The music is in a foreign language, but it seems to be a mix of pop and rock. I'm pretty into it.

I slowly walk further into the shop, gazing left and right, just trying to decide where to look first and doing my very best not to tap my foot to the beat of the music. Standing here looking overwhelmed makes me me feel awkward and out of place. Should I really be in here at all? It's probably better if I wait and think on this a bit.

My question is immediately answered when I feel a little nudge on my arm. I glance over my shoulder, feeling an urge to scoot to the side in case I'm blocking anyone, but a lady stands behind me with a smile on her face and a mask in her hand.

I feel like I've just barely decided on doing this, like life is moving past me at double the speed. To see this lady standing before me with a beautiful mask in her hands feels like a sign, though.

"I had to grab it in when you walked in," she says. "I think this one will suit your face nicely."

The woman has salt and pepper hair in a loose, messy bun atop her head. Her skin is a gorgeous caramel shade and her face is littered with little freckles. And her eyes-- a welcoming, inebriating color that reminds me so much of smoky quartz. Absolutely stunning.

She's a bit shorter than me, too. But she seems to notice my hesitance, patting my arm with her free hand. "Why don't you take a look at it, honey?"

My mouth opens, my lips dry as I try to find the right words to stay. But my brain is empty, so I snap my mouth shut and gently take the mask from her instead.

It seems like almost an exact replica of Phantom of the Opera's Red Death mask. The one from the live action movie with Gerard Butler.

It would only cover from my forehead down to under my nose, but it's gorgeous. There are grooves in it to mimic the shape of a skull and it's a deep, dark red.

My heart feels like it's just participated in a NASCAR race. This feels so right. It feels perfect-- like all the stars have aligned just for me in this moment. My stomach feels queasy in the best kind of way like the time I overate for my 21st birthday. I felt full and surrounded by love, though I knew better than to crack open a beer because I knew I'd throw up.

So I use that little experience to remind me that, yes, it feels right-- but I shouldn't push my luck. This will be my one thing for now, then I'll see what I can do in the future.

"Um," I murmur softly, tilting my head toward the woman with a hesitant smile. "Would you happen to have this one in purple?"

The woman leans toward me, her hands behind her back and her eyes narrowed as her smile grows into a sly grin. "I have four. What kind of purple?"

I beam at her, finding that maybe pushing my luck a bit more will be beneficial. It'll end some day, but this moment feels lucky enough to me.

The woman takes me to her counter then fishes out her four masks. They all have the same style, but their colors are much different than the red one in my hands.

There's a pastel one with neon green designs, a bright purple mask with glitter in different places, then a pink and purple tie dyed one.

But the mask that wins my vote is a dark purple-- so dark, it would look black in dim lighting-- with gold highlights in just the right places. It screams me-- screams VioletViolence.

I run my fingers over each nook, cranny, and hill of the mask. I feel it out, falling deeper and deeper in love with the creation until I feel an unignorable yearning deep within my soul. I need this. Somehow, I feel like purchasing this mask will be life changing for me.

I take a deep breath, feeling my eyes widen as I get lost in the beauty of pure, undeniable art. "How much?" I ask softly.

"For you, fifty." Her voice is soft, but determined. So I look up, noting the content smile on her face, almost like she's proud of my decision.

"And..." I trail off, gulping as her smoky gaze meets mine. "How much would it be for someone else?"

"One twenty." Her reply is immediate and honest, her ashy eyes glinting in the dim lighting of the shop.

I definitely don't have the money to pay for a $120 mask. $50 is insanely reasonable, but I can't take such a discount just for... I don't know why I've even been given a discount.

Choking on air for a moment, I try to recover and bargain a bit more. "Ma'am, I can't take this for fifty. Let me at least give you a bit more than that."

The lady leans onto the counter separating us, lifting a hand and pointing at me. "See, I knew you were the type to say something like that. Honestly, I'd give it to you for free but I feel like that would bother you for eternity." She laughs, the raspy sound filling the air around us.

"You're right." I smile at her, placing the mask on the counter. "But seriously, I can't take something worth so much without paying the correct amount."

The woman tilts her head. "Alright, your choice. $50, or just take it. But you can't walk out of here without it."

I narrow my eyes, grinning slightly. I appreciate her kindness. I'm not sure why she's showing so much compassion toward me, but I can't complain. Maybe life just decided to give me a break today.

I pull a couple bills from my wallet and slide them over, making sure to put $10 into her tip can. I don't have much, but I can't give her nothing, especially when she's nice enough to give this to me for $50.

"If I'm ever famous," I say in a giggly voice. "I'll thank you for bringing my character to life."

The woman's smile brings life to my already enthusiastic body. "Then tell me your name so I can look for you, sweetheart. I know you'll get recognition one day."

I swallow thickly, feeling my heart swell with so much appreciation for this random woman who decided to be so kind to me. But what do I tell her? If I am famous one day, she can't know my real name because I won't go by my real name. But, she knows my face and I don't want her to associate that with VioletViolence.

I watch her for a few moments, debating in my head. She watches me patiently, the caring smile never leaving her lips.

So I cut off my thoughts and lean on the counter too. "Can you keep my face a secret if I tell you the name I go by?"

"I don't even remember what you look like," she says, waving a hand in front of her and closing her eyes.

I laugh, unable to stop myself from patting her hand affectionately. Each little bit of fear in my bones gets shredded into indecipherable pieces. Maybe this'll come back to bite me in the future, but I'm not concerned about it right now. Plus, what proof will she be able to show? I doubt she'll even remember my face. I take a glance at the empty store behind me before speaking. "I go by VioletViolence online," I say cheerily. "I'm friends with that group called The Faces."

The woman's brows furrow in shock. "Really? My son loves The Faces. He hasn't told me about you." She smiles again though, patting my hand back. "I'll definitely look out for you, love. I have the utmost faith in your abilities. May you achieve all that you long for."

With a little sweet pull at my heart strings, I squeeze her hand in mine. "Thank you, ma'am. That means the world to me." I pinch my lips together to contain the ugly crying that's bound to set in later. This visit was definitely a sign for me to keep moving forward.

This random lady with no name has managed to give me so much self-pride and hope. I'll make sure to thank her generously if and when I can.

She puts my mask in a safe, pristine, crisp box then bags it, handing it to me with a smile and well wishes before sending me on my way.

My walk home is even more vibrant and enjoyable than it was before, but it's unfortunately quick.

Dad isn't home when I walk into our apartment. Figures, though. Most of the time, he's out working late on projects or attending meetings. Hopefully he'll be able to come home tonight.

I set my bag down on the table and walk into the kitchen to find something to eat. It's almost two in the afternoon-- I've been fucking starving myself. So I decide to heat up some leftover pizza from lunch yesterday and pull my phone out of my pocket for the first time in an hour.

My phone is filled with Discord notifications. I'm going to have to turn that off. I'm a private person and so many names and tons of information slapping me in the face makes me feel uneasy.

But I notice my name brought up and the queasiness falls away for a moment.

LARBEARAWR: i bet vi is so hot LARBEARAWR: prove em right baby

T0DDLES12: Don't objectify her, Larry.

LARBEARAWR: im not objectifying her im just saying i KNOW shes gotta be hot.

SALLYFʌCɛ: she's not hot.

ASHYPOO <3: Shut up, Sal!!

SALLYFʌCɛ: you need to get into the habit of using my stage name, ash, jeez.

LARBEARAWR: VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I roll my eyes, typing back a quick response with a smile pulling at my lips. I was going to ignore it, but Sally's claim made me change my mind. I'll be damned if he goes on thinking I'm not hot. Because I... well, am I hot?

I guess I'll let Larry be the judge of that.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: who said I'm not hot???

SALLYFʌCɛ: that'd be me. you got something to say?

VIOLETVIOLENCE: yup. you a bitch.

T0DDLES12: Laughing my ass off.

LARBEARAWR: fuck todd just use abbreviations damn that's weird LARBEARAWR: we wanna know ur laughing but not REALLY like be a normal fcking person

I giggle over Todd and Larry's banter. They're quite a duo. Larry is just so informal and then Todd... well, he's the exact opposite. How have they been able to get along for this long?

With a sigh, I chew on my nails and debate sending them a photo of myself. Not my face, of course, but something just to get everyone off my back for a bit.

The last time I thought Sally was far away from me, he ended up being in front of my face. To say that having to serve him just once caused me to develop some paranoia is an understatement-- so if I'm going to do this, I'm going to change my clothes. I don't need anyone recognizing what I'm wearing.

With a sigh and shaky hands, I shut my phone off and take slow steps to my bedroom. The door feels like it weighs two tons-- though that's my own doing. Instead of just telling them that they don't need to know what I look like, I'm making things harder on myself because I feel the need to prove Sal wrong. But what if he's not wrong?

My brows furrow as I contradict myself-- that doesn't even matter because Sal-- Sally-- is wrong. I'm totally hot. I have to be.

I skip over to my closet with some pep in my step, rifling through shirts and immediately throwing Sally's merch to the ground. I might as well throw that away.

Or...

A petty little smile pulls at my lips. I lift the hoodie and throw it over my shoulder. It's blue-- the color of his hair-- with SALLY FACE diagonally written across the front in an almost scratchy black font.

I grab Larry's merch hoodie too-- the same one that Sal-- dammit, Sally-- wore the day he walked into my diner. Larry's hoodie is all black with some fun red designs running down the sleeves and his name-- also in red-- in big bubble letters on the front. His popular saying, "Zesty, Voluptuous Mommy Milkers" is on the back of the hoodie and that's part of the reason why I bought it in the first place.

Then, I just grab a plain pair of skinny black jeans and leather combat boots.

I set my phone against the drawers in my room and throw on Sally's hoodie first. I take one, singular picture of me, from the neck down, flicking off the camera. Then, I switch to Larry's hoodie and take one with a thumbs up, then another with my back towards the camera while pointing at his ridiculous catch phrase.

My hands shake and my mouth goes dry as I load the first photo in Sally's hoodie before pressing send. My finger hovers over the button, never touching the screen.

Honestly, I'm horrified. What is he going to say? What are they all going to say?

SALLYFʌCɛ: VioletViolence is a pussy-- clearly. she doesn't want us to see that she's actually some old guy preying on younger hotties.

ASHYPOO <3: Dude, stop being such a dick. Do you not remember that I've met Vi like... hundreds of times??

SALLYFʌCɛ: you sure this is actually her? what proof do you have, huh?

There's my cue. With a little guilty smile, I press send.

The chat is quiet for an uncomfortably long time. I'm still in Larry's hoodie and my anxiety is so bad that I lift the collar of it and pull the fabric over my face, sniffing the washing detergent Dad has used since I was a child. It's comforting and nostalgic for the moment.

I hear a notification so I glance over the edge of the hoodie, seeing a message from Todd.

T0DDLES12: See, she's not ugly. T0DDLES12: Wait, is that Sal's merchandise?

Yes, Todd. Yes, it is. Thank you a thousand times over for taking the bait. This is working out better than I thought it would and my nervousness is gone as quick as it came.

I put the other two photos of me in Larry's merch then press send, typing out:

VIOLETVIOLENCE: sorry, wrong pic! here's what i meant to send <3

My heart skips a beat and I push out a big breath, feeling heat crawl up my cheeks as I wait for someone else to type in the chat.

LARBEARAWR: hot as fuck. 10/10. BARK RUFF QUACK RIBBIT AWOOGA

I knew he'd like that. A giggle falls from my lips and I cradle my phone, reading over Larry's message repeatedly. He's being a bit extra and really exaggerating, but I appreciate it regardless.

ASHYPOO <3: Just as pretty as I remember <333333 ASHYPOO <3: Send your tit!! ASHYPOO <3: Tat** hehehehe

Funny, but that's a no-go. The only person who's seen my tattoo is Dad-- but what's the issue in sending it? Why am I afraid? Because I'll be showing skin? It shouldn't be that big of a deal. Why am I insecure over it?

ASHYPOO <3: I'd love to prove who you are to Sal-- but you don't have to send if you don't want to!

Ah, well, that's quite an incentive. It would prove who I am to Sally. He knows what I have as my tattoo, so it would be a clear indication that I'm not lying.

But I decide to joke with them a bit before finding out how to get a clear picture of the tattoo on my side.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: want bikini pics of me too ash??? what's next-- my titties??????? VIOLETVIOLENCE: oh sorry, i mean my zesty, voluptuous mommy milkers???????????

LARBEARAWR: please LARBEARAWR: god, please

ASHYPOO <3: I mean... will you be upset if I agree with Lar?

T0DDLES12: I'm down for Vi's breasts. Can I get hands in the chat?

A true, genuine laugh reverberates through my room. It takes a moment for me to realize that I'm the one who did it-- fuck, I love my friends.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: one sec

I move to lift Larry's hoodie over my head. I'll have to move my shirt too since the tattoo is right on my bra line. Sometimes I regret getting it in such a hard to reach place.

My phone suddenly blows up with notifications and I nearly drop it onto the ground at my feet. I flinch back, looking down at my phone with furrowed brows and wide eyes.

LARBEARAWR: WUT???? LARBEARAWR: TITTIES??? MILKERS???? LARBEARAWR: B-B-B-BREASTS???? LARBEARAWR: UR SENDING THEM VI????

T0DDLES12: ^^^ Really? I thought we were only joking around. Let me prepare. I'll pull Neil in for this one.

ASHYPOO <3: Woah, holy hell-- Vi's sweet, juicy titties? I've been waiting for this day my entire life. ASHYPOO <3: Let me get my camera ready-- screenshots just won't do. This is going in a picture book. I'm making an album just for your titties. Dedicated to the one and only VioletViolence.

Oh, fuck. Seems I didn't specify what I meant.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: NO VIOLETVIOLENCE: sorry, i did NOT mean titties. just sending my tat.

LARBEARAWR: :( LARBEARAWR: ook but can we get titty pics 2??????

VIOLETVIOLENCE: maybe. VIOLETVIOLENCE: for you ;)

I love this banter with Larry-- he's such a funny guy. I enjoy talking with him, Todd, and Ash. And speaking of which, Sally's been pretty quiet.

LARBEARAWR: O_O LARBEARAWR: r we flirting????? is that what this is???? LARBEARAWR: omg vi *bites lip* r u trna smash? me????

I snicker, ignoring the messages and maneuvering my body and phone around to try and get a clear picture of my tattoo. Minutes pass though and I find myself growing frustrated over the fact that I cannot get a good picture of it for the life of me. No matter what.

I set my phone down again, getting some major deja vu over the fact that I have to do this again. My brain is on overdrive as I throw my worries to the wind and just lift my shirt and bra strap, a photo being taken as the timer counts down on my phone.

When I pull my phone close to my face to inspect the picture, I wince and shut the device off for a second. My "fuck it" moment was a little too much. There's a good bit of underboob in that photo and I don't think I can send it.

My phone vibrates with another notification, so I carefully glance back at it. I haven't even sent the photo and I feel embarrassed by it.

ASHYPOO <3: Tit jokes aside, you really are beautiful, Vi. Inside and out! Never forget it, mi corazón <33333

That makes me warm up a bit and a smile works its way onto my lips again. Damn, Ash. She always knows what to say to make me feel better.

Suddenly, sending the photo doesn't feel as terrible to me. Sure, it still makes me nervous because I'm showing off so much skin, including skin that not a single person has ever seen-- aside from past boyfriends. It feels scary, but I know I can trust my friends and they'll even hype me up over it.

So I send another message before linking the photo.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: omg <3333 ash, don't talk to me in other languages i will melt over you. but seriously, thank you so much. i love you

I quickly send the photo before I can think too hard about it.

Anxious and debating on deleting it as soon as the picture goes through, I send more messages in a panic. I feel the need to pull at the roots of my hair, chew on my lips, crack my knuckles-- all of my nervous habits. My skin is burning hot and my legs won't stop moving.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: undertitties VIOLETVIOLENCE: fuck this scares me ngl VIOLETVIOLENCE: never sent half-titty pics before in my life VIOLETVIOLENCE: #tittypicvirgin

My friends are quick to reply now, filling my endlessly frantic brain with love.

LARBEARAWR: FUCK YES TITTIES LARBEARAWR: rlly tho, ur tat is super nice. titties too. hair is pretty and fluffy and i wanna run my fingers through it like ur a fairy r smthn

ASHYPOO <3: GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL LOVE OF MY LIFE!!! ASHYPOO <3: Awe, my baby's first titty pic <3 look at you growing up!

T0DDLES12: Voluptuous breasts, indeed. I love the meaning behind your tattoo. I wonder what it means to the band.

What did I ever do to deserve such amazing friends? Never did I think I'd have anyone care for me and support me so dearly, yet here are three. Three people who have been here for me since we were kids. And they still haven't left my side.

Their sweet words make a beaming smile form on my face and it's the sole reason behind my achy cheeks, but it's so worth it.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: guys :,) you're so sweet. thank you for all of this

ASHYPOO <3: Stahppp! There's no need to thank us, we're just telling the truth.

LARBEARAWR: word LARBEARAWR: where's sal btw? ur missing tits bro LARBEARAWR: r u wanking off to vi's pic in ur hoodie r smthng

Oh, shit. My eyes widen as I stare at Larry's message in shock. I can't believe he said that. But I'm also really happy that he did say it. This puts the heat on Sally and gives me something to cackle over.

Like he hasn't been gone for the past five or so minutes, Sally's username pops up in the chat.

SALLYFʌCɛ: eat shit, larry.

My cackling starts immediately. I thought it'd be something I'd do in the dead of night as I wait for sleep to take me, but it's come early. All because it is painfully obvious that Sally's message is guilty denial.

At least, I hope.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: it's okay to be honest, sally. masturbation is healthy!

His response is immediate again. He's been close to his phone.

SALLYFʌCɛ: i'm not even joking right now, i fucking hate you violetfucking whoever you are.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: awe but i totally wore your hoodie so you'd fall in love with me :(

This feels so good. I wanted a reaction and I'm getting it. Sally's messages fill me with adrenaline. I can practically feel my blood rushing through my veins. I can smell the anger in his text. I can taste his rage from all the way across the United Sates. It feels so incredibly invigorating.

SALLYFʌCɛ: choke on my damn dick.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: is that a threat or a promise? i have a pretty resilient throat. no gagging.

I send a thumbs up and lose it on my bedroom floor. I roll onto my back, laughing so hard that tears spill from the corners of my eyes. I find that with every single day of being close to The Faces, I feel so much better. I feel too good even if Sally's a dick. I feel so damn good that I trick myself into thinking that I'd be okay without my antidepressants. That's dangerous.

The chat is silent and I feel like I'm on top of the world. That's a clear win for me.

SALLYFʌCɛ has left the channel.

Oh, well, shit. I didn't exactly mean for that to happen.

---------

A/N::::: heheheheheheh i hope this is an enjoyable chapter <333

it was kinda hard to get out. im such a huge fan of scenes with sal so i have to remind myself to be patient with these boring parts! i kinda hate the middle of this chapter, but i hope you guys like it!

i've been busy between caring for my cat (he is well!), doing school work, battling tummy sickness, and my allergies. but i'm working my hardest to fulfill my promises to you guys! next is maybe today!

when do you guys think sal and y/n will finally meet again since she isn't going to vegas? i'd love to hear your thoughts :3

as always, i love you all with my entire heart! sleep well/have a wonderful day! you complete my life <3333

#x reader #travis phelps #todd morrison #ash campbell #larry johnson #fanfic #sally face #sal fisher #enemies to lovers

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pcrushinnerd · 2 years

Text

Critical Passenger -- Chapter 5

Summary: Before he fully accepted his role as Moon Knight, as Jake Lockley he played hero and made a promise to someone who has come back into his life.

Pairings: Mostly Jake Lockley x femreader, but also Steven Grant x femreader and Marc Spector x femreader because well yeah.

Warnings: None I think, allusions to nasty things?

A/N: My Defenders children making an appearance ftw. Gif not mine.

last chapter ||| masterlist

The Past

The tops of skyscrapers passed by underfoot like they were nothing. Multitudes of windows, lit and dark, passed into a single blur. The white cold moon overhead lit his path, as Moon Knight sailed through the air, finally landing on a familiar rooftop.

The red guy wasn't there yet, but then Matt did have an issue with being punctual.

After a few minutes: "Hey."

Jake turned around to see Daredevil sauntering up to him.

"Hey yourself."

To Matt, in the fiery view his altered vision gave him, his relatively new ally appeared like a slash of darkness against light.

Daredevil tilted his head slightly to the side. "You still sound like you're wearing kevlar. Hope you didn't pay too much for it."

"Just my life."

Matt was used to the small, cryptic retorts by now. Sort of.

"Well, got any intel this week?"

"No," Jake responded sullenly. "I'm almost tempted to just storm the place one night and take everyone out and be done with it."

"Hey now. We need to be delicate about this. These fucks are smart enough to know people like us are watching them, and they've planned accordingly. We don't want innocent people getting hurt."

Jake let out an exasperated breath. "This isn't how I normally do things, you know that."

"I'm aware. But your way won't help things here."

Jake felt like a man chained. Or, more familiarly, a man split. The cabbie that gathered intel by day, was the muscle by night. Although, other than the usual small stuff around the city, the muscle part of it was becoming less and less. Which irritated the shit out of him.

"Your PI got anything new?"

"Jessica has been able to track down a few ancillary individuals within the organization. Probably have no idea who or what they're working for, but could be worth checking out."

Matt off-handedly mentioned a few names--one of which was yours.

"Why did your heartbeat just jump?"

After a long pause: "Mierda...."

"What?"

"I...encountered one of them, the other day."

"...care to explain further?"

Moon Knight started to pace around a bit, delaying. He hadn't been entirely sure he'd wanted to bring you up, even knowing from your mostly-innocently-shared business card that you worked for McBradley & Associates as some sort of "executive assistant." After all, as Matt indicated earlier, you probably didn't really know anything.

And as badly as he'd wanted to, he knew he shouldn't get anywhere near you. He understood what you were doing with giving him the card, and that for your sake, he shouldn't take the opportunity.

Jake recounted how this seemingly random, bleeding woman had him take her to the hospital, how he'd felt the need to stick around and take you home, about the business card....

He wanted to smack that subtle smirk of off Daredevil's face, but it quickly fell away anyway.

"You were planning to share with the class, weren't you?"

"Yes."

Matt's hands went to his hips, as he took a patient breath.

"...at some point."

"Great."

"Like you said, she probably doesn't know much of anything. Didn't strike me as a woman who relishes facilitating sex slavery."

"Doesn't mean she doesn't know."

Jake sighed loudly.

"Besides, something doesn't sound right about the mugging story. Broad daylight, so close to the building she works in?"

"Agreed. However--"

"Maybe you should...go ahead and give her a call."

#moon knight #moon knight fanfic #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x fem!reader #jake lockley x you #jake lockley x y/n #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #Mel writes I guess

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queenlua · 1 year

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let's see about 5, 11, 12, 13 for the ask meme?

5. What game would you recommend to someone new to the series?

ugh this is so HARD because i don't think there's any game that's perfect for this...

if they're new to the series but have enjoyed at least a couple older video games at some point (and thus have some tolerance for a bit of gameplay cruft and GBA-era rough edges), i'd be really tempted to throw Sacred Stones at them. absolutely gorgeous sprites, good music, probably the most solid/focused/best-executed story in the series, fun support conversations, and very good gameplay whose only flaw is "it's kinda too easy." but it's satisfying and if someone likes everything about it but "too easy," then that's an easy problem to fix with subsequent games lol

i suspect Awakening is probably the objectively-better answer, though. first "modern"-feeling FE in terms of how streamlined and nice the mechanics feel, the depth/multiplicity of strategies, the storyline is weaker but still has definite highlights (especially when the kids show up), etc

Three Houses is a solid contender but the game is kind of bloated with extras that i think can make playing it feel like a bit of a drag; i know a lot of people who just kinda flaked out or gave up b/c of all the monastery stuff, and i wouldn't want someone's first FE to end that way

i do love the Tellius games but i wouldn't recommend them as starter games. the 3d sprites are kinda ugly and it definitely shows its age a bit in terms of gameplay cruft

11. A character that deserved better?

Edelgard, tbh. she's fantastic when the game isn't trying to make her all woobie/waifu/etc. wouldn't even take many changes to fix this one!

also Renning. i love what's on the page but he gets so little and shows up so late. give the dude some damn base conversations plz

also Meg. the game is so mean to her, goddamn.

12. A game that deserved better?

oh boy. the problem here is, if i finished playing an FE game, that means i liked it well enough over all, even if there's stuff i didn't like. like, i wish Awakening's storyline was stronger, but it definitely feels like it executed on exactly what it wanted to do, so i wouldn't say the game deserves better per se

so i guess i'll say the two FE games i tried and failed to play:

fe6: i ragequit on the map with the fucking reinforcements that move the same turn that they spawn. motherfuckers. why

fe14: i was already pretty "eh" on the story and then that one fucking "defend [x] turns" map (unhappy reunion iirc) took SO much finicky effort to survive that by the time i finished it i was like. ugh. i'm so tired. and then i put it down for a while and never picked it back up oops

13. What do you like most about Fire Emblem?

...god this is going to make me sound SO uncultured but, the support conversations, especially in the older games, are just so delightful. delightful in-and-of-themselves (especially when they would happen DIRECTLY ON THE BATTLEFIELD lmao), and also, were probably weirdly influential in how i thought about game writing / writing generally. conveyed a huge amount of personality & implied huge things about the world & in a relatively small space; and also refused to let anyone be just a rando soldier in your army; you can look back at short fiction i wrote in middle school and see how much i was striving to get that huge-cast-small-space-feel in that format. simple but effective approach

also it's nice to have a big-name game series that executes so well on story and gameplay, on average. i've played a lot of Final Fantasy and i love those games but. often the gameplay is just kinda mediocre/grind-y, right, and i'm forcing my way through for the story? could NOT be fire emblem lol

#airlock

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detectivechandler · 8 months

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what? That description in the post is actually much more on point than yours in the tags! He throws pizza boxes? Who does he call unintelligent? He hides behind his mental illness...?! Which behaviour did you consider arrogant? He was quite self-doubting, Miles actually gave him a few talks on that!

alright, I said I would answer this yesterday afternoon but the day got ahead of me and my brain was too fatigued to open a laptop so here's hoping you still give a damn enough to read it. First of all, I think it needs to be understood that I never said I necessarily disagreed with the traits presented in the post, nor did I state that the traits I mentioned within the tags were all there was. I did nothing but defend Joe 100% of the time when I first made this character because he is a super, soft, sweet man... but he is also human and that is what makes him compelling. He is not all positive traits (just as he is not all negative) and that is what my tags were trying to point out - instances of opposite behavior. One does not negate the other. I want a character to be complex, especially one that means so much to me. Recognizing flaws and mistakes and what would be considered 'negative' personality traits, does not mean you hate the person/character. On that note, since I do have ten thousand reasons why I love Joe and wish to protect him at all costs throughout various posts on my blog and have been meaning to address some of the things you mention anyways, I'm gonna try to go point by point. Under a cut because its gonna get long, I think.

Also want to note that sometimes, nailing down Joe's characterization is pretty difficult even as a casual observer that doesnt put much thought into it because whitechapel (i love it, i truly do) is very inconsistent with its writing. He has 5 cars in the span of four seasons, for example. The way he reacts to people and stress changes. He is very puppy (my little golden retriever boy) in season 2 and, while he remains the same in some aspects, he is back to being Joe in season 3 and 4.

I touched on everything in this ask (I think. My brain is mush right now) except for the mental illness post because I believe that deserves its own meta so that will be the next thing I go insane over. And again, thanks for sending this! For real. You motivated me to actually sit down and write out the various things in my mind rather than let my blog stay a shrine to all things Joe (stay gold, ponyboy) because it is/was so tempting. As my comfort character, I'm motivated (especially during this time of my life) to really build up how wonderful he is and ignore more negative traits (that again, dont necessarily negate the positive ones. Personality aspects co exist, even when they seem to contradict one another) and that's not the kind of writer I want to be. But, more importantly, that's not a true comfort character. I find strength in the fact that Joe is as fucked up as the rest of us in his own ways. He's struggling. He can be mean. He yells when hes frustrated and he makes snap judgments about others before getting to know them. He's a person. Like me. Like you. Like all of us. THAT is what I find comfort in. I love that he is three dimensional and I get that some people don't like acknowledging things like that, I do... but personally, for me, I don't believe in entirely herowashing or only focusing on the good. I love him because he is as flawed as me but he fights to be anyhow.

What's that stupid quote from the last episode of season 2? I may stumble, but I never fall.

For the pizza box thing - season 4, episode 4. The exchange that leads to it starts at 14:42. I wish I could gif it but alas. I don't have photoshop on this computer and won't have my mac back until next week. Basically, Joe and Miles are looking at the whiteboard while Joe tries to piece together the common factor shared between the cases thus far. He asks a question about a victim and Mansell speaks up and supplies the necessary information. Joe is extremely frustrated and goes on a bit of a tear. It culminates with him picking up the empty pizza box at Mansell's desk and throwing it at him. The whole exchange is as follows:

Joe: What about the first victim, Harry Barnett, did he have a record? Miles: Well, we've got his prints on file. Something to do with a stolen car. Mansell: Yeah, it was a hit and run. Barnett was questioned but he reported his car stolen, so the case never came to court. I've got the file here somewhere. Joe: Why didn't I know about this? Mansell: Well, I've been concentrating on cracking the code. Joe: Well, get on to it, will you? It's important! Sort your desk out, it's a disgrace. Mansell: Yes sir. Joe: How can you think straight with all this chaos and crap everywhere? A young man's life hangs in the balance and all you can think about is which topping to have on your pizza! We gotta stay focused or otherwise we make mistakes!

And then he throws the pizza box at him. I'm not saying he's a bad person for it, I'm not even saying I wouldn't do the same thing (I absolutely would) but I AM saying that I won't ignore the fact that he does it. Reasons why this was called out by me in the tags to come towards the end when I tie all of this together. For now I just wanted to give the reference of when it happens.

Calling someone unintelligent. Does he say "Gosh (insert name), you are so unintelligent!" No. If he did we wouldnt be having this discussion and I wouldnt be writing the character because I like to have to dig not have things handed to me. There are multiple instances of him questioning someone and commenting things about their thinking that while they do not explicitly say you're an idiot... they do say, what the fuck are you thinking? I will concede that maybe 'unintelligent' was the wrong word to use in my description, but I was eating a chicken tender and typing one handed on my phone. I'm gonna skip to your arrogance thing because a lot of this ties into that so just .. bear with me for a second.

Arrogance. This is gonna be a big one. I'm gonna list some points and then cite the scenes (with timestamps and episodes) that sort of led to me forming this opinion. First, I think it should be acknowledged that arrogance and insecurity/self-doubt can often go hand in hand. In fact, arrogance is often used as a defense mechanism for those with low-self esteem who want to be accepted and given respect and believe they won't be if they aren't perfect.

There is a type of arrogance referred to as Belief Arrogance in some psychiatric journals online through various databases (such good reads always. Highly recommend). This is defined as follows: Belief arrogance comes before a person is truly proved as being right. They may even still believe they are right after they are proven wrong. It is often based either on excessive self - confidence or as a cover up for a lack of self-confidence.

Some general examples of arrogance that bring this to mind (we'll go episode by episode, shall we? and please note my internet is being slow so I'm using the scenes that immediately come to mind so that I can cite without losing my fucking mind. I can go way in depth later if you so wish. ):

Season 1, Episode 1:

We are introduced to Joe in what can be considered a state of arrogance for him. He is part of the metropolitan police social club for the high and mighty (its a thing, i researched it lmao) and as he makes his way to the commander, he is greeted by much older detectives and accompanied by mutterings (of a good kind). "It's joe! look its joe! hi joe!". Very Simba walking up pride rock of him tbh. He was groomed for this job. He is being pushed through the ranks (as my high school principal always said .. its not the grades you make, its the hands you shake) and the confidence and belief in himself that comes from that is part of it. This does not negate the fact that he practices things in front of the mirror etc, but those things also do not erase arrogance. He is bothered when he feels like he is being undermined (again, understandable) and he literally yells and asks if his team has heard of showers and tells them they smell. Thats judgmental, mate. And that comes from a place of arrogance.

Season 2, Episode 1.

This example begins in a diner where Joe is conversing with Ed after the bayonetting at the snooker hall at 25:47. It goes as follows:

Joe: Steven Dukes is part of a notorious crime family. He must have grown up idolizing the Krays and now he's using the legend to build his own empire. Ed: Does he wear Italian suits, a monogrammed shirt? Joe: Not when he was standing in a snooker hall, no. Ed: Ah, but don't you see? If he were the copycat, he would. The copycat went to great trouble to recreate the exact details of Frank Mitchell's death. Lenny Cobb was taken from Dartmoor Prison, just like Mitchell, and his injuries were, tragically, just like Mitchell's. Anyone who cares enough about those details would at the very least wear the suit. Joe: This is about power and fear, not fancy dress. Ed: But it's not about a pretense or an act. It's about being a Kray. I don't think it can be Dukes. Joe: Dukes has motive. He has opportunity, and he inspires enough fear to ensure silence. My instinct tells methat he's the one.

Same episode, 37:50.

Ed: It's not Dukes. It's not about power, or money or empire building. The motive is revenge. The victimes are being chosen from those that gave evidence against the Kray twins and they will be killed in the manner of their testimony. Joe: So who do you think will be next? Ed: Slasher Daneford. He testified about the death of Jack 'The Hat' Mcvitie, and he's like Mcvitie in many ways.I tried to warn him, but he's refused to run or seek protection. I am a real detective, in my heart, in my bones, and I do not need a warrant card to prove it! Joe: Thanks for the tip. We really appreciate it [as a side note here, please pay attention to the expression his face. It's one of indulgence more than it is an expression of genuine gratefulness) Ed: Don't just humor me, Joe! You must talk to Slaher. I can't have his death on my conscience.

As another side note in this episode, he judges Mansell the moment he walks through that door and continues to do so until the show ends. He actually makes a face that cracks me the fuck up lmao.

I'm skipping seasons because - again - slow internet and I'm using hulu for now until I get my laptop back but lets go to season 4 shall we. I love season 4. But Lucas, he's under a lot of stress you might say. You might argue 'but season 4 makes the worst of every character come out' .. and you're right! it does! which means these traits exist in Joe all along, they are just brought closer to the surface thanks to the joy that is frustration (which is something that happens to all of us).

Season 4, episode 1.

Timestamp 7:31. His first introduction to Louise Iver. He gets so upset. Why? Because she is pricking at a sore spot, she is prodding at an open wound that is already a detriment to his pride. Conversation is as follows:

Louise: Are you in the book? Joe: No, I'm not. Louise: Oh, I understand. [Joe sort of gives her a look here like, you understand what exactly? He's already in defense mode] Did he leave you out to spare your feelings? Joe: I beg your pardon? Louise: Never bringing in a killer alive is a terrible legacy. Joe: I'm not in the book because I'm a serving police officer. Louise: Oh, well, your memoirs will be a depressing read, won't they?

Timestamp, 40:00. The conversation with Wingfield.

Wingfield: Well, I didn't think I'd walk away. Joe: You had an alibi. Why were you spying on us? Wingfield: You have been infiltrated by an agent. Joe [scoffing]: I don't think we're that interesting. Wingfield: Any soul is of interest. And you have been chosen. Joe: By whom? Wingfield: I first heard of this agent when I was in captivity. It is a provocateur whose purpose is to incite others to commit evil acts.

[Joe literally scoffs again]

Wingfield: Markov. Calvi. The Krays. The Ripper. An immortal entity was behind them all. Planting the seeds, watching the horror grow. The provocateur had Zukanov killed. It was a setup to silence me. Now that has failed and another way will be found. Joe [scoffing. again]: you're mad. Wingfield: I wish I were. I wish I was wrong. Good luck.

Alright, let's talk about this. First of all, I would like to mention the definition of a scoff. Scoffing means contemptuously ridiculing or mocking someone or something. This man scoffs SO FUCKING MUCH at people. I cannot believe that someone would argue to blatantly MAKE FUN of someone's belief or opinion is not in itself, a display of arrogance at some level. What would you call that then? I will point out other examples of scoffing that I remember in the other episodes, but if you want episode by episode examples for every single one ... I'd be happy to provide.

Season 4, episode 2

I do also think that during the autopsy review of Dorothy's body, Joe hyper-fixates on the knowledge that the killer has gangrene. How long before he dies? When Llewelyn answers "He could die at anytime." Joe responds with, not if i get there first. It has stopped being about saving future victims and has started to become a race to simply catch a killer alive, saving his own ego. Arrogance, in a form.

Timestamp 25:40, when going through the woman who drowned's belongings (I cannot remember her name, rip lady I apologize).

Joe: It doesn't look like she had many friends, just work colleagues. It's quite sad, really.

Hell-to the fucking - o ??? Pot calling kettle black. Also it makes me sad and emo because its like .. hes also passing judgment on himself whether or not he realizes it and i want to hug him and call him my precious but this write up isnt about that so .. moving on.

Also, lets jump back to the temper I mentioned that is evidence by the pizza throwing incident .. in this episode (timestamp 30:30) during the fight with Mansell and Kent, Joe doesn't just stop the fight .. he throws Mansell against a table. Pushes with extreme force? Idk what you want to call it. He did NOT have to act that way. It is a combination of temper and, as I pointed out earlier, the fact that he has judged Mansell and considered him lacking/unprofessional/unworthy since day one.

The scene where Joe and Miles share a drink at the end of the episode and are later joined by ed. Timestamp is 40:40

Joe: Septicemia. Once the infection took hold, there was nothing the doctors could do. Miles: I'm sorry. Joe: Another killer escapes justice. Miles: I think you're being too hard on yourself. You saved Nick's life. Joe: You know, if you'd told me five hundred years ago that I was cursed, I would have believed you. Miles: Here. [pours another drink] Here's to bringing on in alive.

[skip ahead to Ed appearing at 42:40 after making a connection in Wingfield's notes down in the archive]

Miles: How can you hear a bottle open all the way down in the archive? Joe [laughing]: Come in. Ed: I'm so sorry to intrude, but I have a matter of some urgency to share with you. Joe: Have a drink. Ed: Oh...yes. After you hear this, we'll all need one. Um... As you know, Wingfield was trying to catch a provocateur. Joe [amused]: The instigator of all evil in Whitechapel. Ed: This is a visual record of all Wingfield's points of surveillance. Miles: It's a madman's map. Ed: Yes, so it would seem. This is us. Here. Joe: Well we know he was watching us from the hotel across the road. Ed: Did you know he was also watching John Washington's bakery? Fascinating, isn't it? Washington thought his life had been blighted by a witch. Wingfield was following an ancient evil that visited the bakery. Miles: They were after the same person. Ed: Wingfield seemed to think so. And he followed them to this building. [Joe's expression after this line when the camera cuts to him is literally like are yall fucking kidding me right now lmao?] Miles: Are you saying there's a demon in this station? Joe: Right. That's enough for one night. Miles: And you criticize me for not being open-minded. Joe: I'm sure there's a rational explanation for all the connections, we just need to find it. Miles: I hope we do

Again, his confidence in being RIGHT in his opinions and so easily dismissing those that he considers absolutely insane is illustrated so heavily in here. A pattern that repeats stronger and stronger until he signs his own demise in the final episode. Continuing on, however...

Season 4 episode 3

The fucking birthday scene. This is so hard to watch, jesus take the wheel from me. Granted, I fully believe they did not plan this little birthday get together well considering location and activity and obviously Joe is a little out of his depth and frustrated/annoyed by it. But this scene is saturated with arrogance.

At 00:58, we see Ed giving Joe a birthday present. Joe looks so excited at the prospect. He's smiling, he's there for it mate. Look at his fucking face when he opens it. I have seen my nephew be more gracious than that when he was given socks on his 6th birthday. Anyways, short recap:

Ed: Happy birthday, Joe. It's not much, but ... it's a hagstone. It's said to protect the wearer against witchcraft and evil charms. Thought it mgiht bring a smile to your face. Obviously not.

It is SO HARD for me to watch this because Joe is absolutely acting like a spoiled little bitch. He makes a face so obvious that Ed picks up on it and he apologizes and looks both embarrassed and crestfallen. It's awful. Again, that's arrogance. Sorry, anon.

Timestamp 5:38, in the museum when they are discussing the skinned face. He is rude as fuck.

Joe: Get it checked for prints. [walks off] Llewelyn: Well someone's forgotten their pleases and thank yous.

Timestamp 7:24, Joe visits Ed in the archives looking for historical precedents to murders involving flaying. Ed gets a bit excited sharing a particular story and Joe brusquely interrupts him with a very irritated How does this help us? Ed, I just need the information, not the conjecture. Actual conversation below, because there are quite a few other rude interactions in this scene.

Joe: What've you got for me? Ed: I was just looking at this. The Flaying of Marsyas by Titian. Marsyas was a satyr, half man, half goat. He was skinned alive for daring to challenge Apollo to a musical duel. It was on loan at the National Gallery a few years ago but Mother wasn't keen. Joe: How does this help us? Ed: Well, your body was found in an art gallery, was it not? The killer could be recreating scenes from all the Grand Masters. Joe: Ed, I just need the information, not the conjecture. Ed: Of course. Well, historically flaying was a means of punishment or torture. A number of Chinese emperors of the Ming Dynasty liked to cut the flesh from their enemies' faces. In fact, Lingchi, the so called death of a thousand cuts, wasn't abolished in China as a form of execution until 1905. Joe: What did they do with the skin? Ed: It depends. The ancient Assyrians would flay their enemies alive and then nail the skin to the city walls. A warning to others not to step out of line. Oh, look, the molds got in here. Now, this is ridiculous. Joe: Have you got anything I can take away with me? Anything I can study? Ed: We're talking ancient history here, Joe. I'm not going to find it in the Metropolitan Police Archive. Joe: Well, I can't go back upstairs with paintings by Titian and stories from Ancient Assyria. That's not what I pay you for.

Timestamp 10:10, Joe makes the assumption that HE is better suited for interviewing what they believe is Sebastian Marlowe's assistance. He tells Miles he needs the interview to go well and doesnt want any belligerence, hinting that he believes Miles would only get in the way. This comes to bite him in the ass when he later finds out that Miles has connections in the art world and would have been able to find out much more than he did. That's a judgment. Again, arrogance.

During the actual interview scene with her, the following exchange happens and I laugh every time.

Joe: Some people wouldn't call it art. Assistant: Some people only look skin deep.

This makes me laugh because of the skin deep pun but also because Joe is clearly meant to be included in the some people. She picks up on the arrogance too. Also he stares at her birthmark and that gets me everytime also. Not in a funny way but a .. bro are you serious way.

Season 4 episode 4

There's the pizza scene mentioned above, obviously. But before that, there is the scene where Miles and Joe are leaving the dentist office. The important bit begins at timestamp 13:00.

Joe: In a missing persons case, the first twenty four hours are the only twenty four hours. Miles: What? You think I don't know that? ... You want me to call in Whacky Jackie? Joe: Who? Miles: Jackie Brierley. She's a last resort. Joe: Who's Jackie Brierley? Miles: She helped us out on a missing child case back in the nineties. She said she saw a vision of running water, led us down to the Lee Valley Resevoir and the divers found the body in ten minutes. Joe: She's a medium? Miles: Yeah. We used her once or twice back in the day. She's not always right, but when you've got no leads ... What are you looking at me like that for? Joe: Well, I can't believe you'd be so gullible. Miles: Well, I've learned to keep an open mind. Joe: A medium??Miles: Well, she found the girl. Joe: So? It was a lucky guess. Miles: Well, we could do with a bit of luck right now. Do you want me to call her or not? Joe: No!! We're detectives. We use police work. Anything else would just be weakness of character.

In case you're wanting to dismiss this whole thing .. let's re read it and remember that Miles states he and his team HAD USED HER a few times. He, Miles, Joe's colleague and one of the closest things to a friend that he's got, has ADMITTED using this woman .. and Joe ridicules him for it. This is arrogance, but it also ties into my 'unintelligent' comment in the tags. Telling someone theyre gullible is the same as saying they aren't intelligent enough to resist falling for something meant to dupe them. Worse than that though, is that Joe is offhandedly insulting the fuck out of Miles with the weakness of character comment, considering Miles has admitted (ten seconds ago, Joe!! come on!!) that he had done the thing Joe is so adamantly against. That's arrogance, buddy. Miles is actually offended. You can tell by his expression and the way that he mutters to himself. Honestly, I would be too.

The scene with Miles in the bathroom when Joe goes into detail about the death of this father (I'm having to bite my tongue because there are so many GOOD things I want to say about this scene and again I want to hug him) also alludes to arrogance in order to cover self-consciousness. Joe states that as a child, he was embarrassed by his mother's actions and started taking an extreme interest in details because he didn't want others to see how much their lives had fallen apart. This is pride. At ten years old, he had wounded pride.

Okay, this is a big one. It might seem like a stretch. Just bear with me. Timestamp, 43:43. It's the scene in the station chapel towards the end of the episode, involving the conversation between Miles and Joe.

Miles: I was just looking up that Vengeance is mine quote. If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thristy, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap coals of fire upon his head. Do not be overcome by evil. But overcome evil with good.Joe: If only it was that easy. Do you believe in all of that? Miles: What? Joe: The ... Afterlife. Miles: Well, I was brought up Catholic, I have to hedge my bets. Joe: Is that why you consulted a psychic? Miles: No, the family asked for her. What's all this about? We caught the guy, the case is closed. Joe: No. we didn't catch him. He chose to die. He taunted me.

Alright so. Were do I begin with this one. First of all, the verse that Miles reads aloud would actually be a fantastic answer to most of Joe's issues during this season (and throughout the show), if only he would give it the time of day. But he doesn't. In fact, though he does listen while Miles read it aloud, he also makes his usual expressions and immediately dismisses it by asking Miles if he believes in such a thing. We already know he (Joe) doesn't. His pride has been pricked. I've already mentioned the illustrations given throughout other episodes, but it is growing more and more apparent. This verse is TELLING HIM he should do the opposite. Rather than being overcome by evil (aka, being driven to the more baser parts of his personality, the more negative traits) he should be approaching the situation with mercy and grace towards himself. Instead, he is angry. He is frustrated. He is upset by the fact that he feels (rightly so) taunted. Imagine you're 6'8. Weird, I know. But hang on. So you're 6'8 and you're in a cafe somewhere, waiting on a coffee. A person walks in and says 'wow, you're so short." You would go about your day (most would at least, I think) because you know they're wrong. They are not attacking an insecurity. Youre not arrogant, youre just confident in the fact that you're fucking 6'8 and that isnt short. However, when attacked or wronged in some way in regards to something that does bother us (something we are already insecure about perhaps), arrogance does come into play when we get offended. How dare they say that! How dare they think it! You're furious! Joe is reacting the same way. His ego is being attacked.

Season 4, Episodes 5 and 6.

I'm actually wrapping this up really quick because I could go on for fucking AGES about these two episodes and I probably will one day, but the last 3 hours of putting this together is starting to get to me and todays another not feeling so great today. Joe's arrogance comes home to roost in these episodes. He is so ashamed of meeting with Jackie, he double and triple checks that they are doing so in secret. He makes it VERY CLEAR during their conversation that he thinks shes a fucking hoax. He refuses to read the letter given to him through Miles that supposedly contains a message from his father. What would it have cost him to open the letter? It doesnt mean anything to open something. But to Joe it did. To Joe, opening that letter, would be like saying there might be some shred of truth to what Jackie says and what she is and his ARROGANCE does not allow for that. He was too arrogant in his belief of being correct to take ten seconds to do something that would have changed the whole plot of the show. Whitechapel is about sin coming home to roost. Arrogance/Pride in the case of Joe is a great example of that. If you're a true fan, I honestly believe you know this and understand the implications.

Don't put them all in the same van.

HE fucked himself over. His inability to be open minded because he was to arrogant to admit that there might be a slight, SLIGHT chance or at least a small miniscule worth in opening a letter and reading a note that would be absolutely harmless at its worst .. dug his own grave. And that's really what it comes down to.

#headcanon. it's not a disability. it's a gift.#whitechapel itv #hopefully the readmore works ajhdfjfjhf #anyways. this was probably supposed to be a combative ask and i didnt take it that way at all #so i'm sorry if it was my buddy.#i can gather from the punctuation and the fact that you said 'nah you dont understand him at all based on your tags' that it was #probably meant negatively??? idk though. I'm not really offended by differences of opinion.#If anything - I love constructive conflict because I think it helps both parties grow in their opinions.#You dont have to walk away from a disagreement suddenly on the same page .. but I do believe in respecting other opinions #when they are thought out and the other person is willing to rationally explain their thought patterns #so by all means - please feel free always to jump in for some discourse! I'm here for it.#If everyone thought the same thing the world would be so damn boring.#and you never know what I (or you. or even someone who stumbles across it) might learn #sorry for the fandom tag but idk who sent this and if they'd even check to see if i replied #so i'm making it easy #whoever you were - i love you for loving joe enough to send a stranger an ask to defend him #100% serious.#I'm so embarrassed to admit this but thanks to my illness I have no life whatsoever for the first time and #I literally watch this show for 7-8 hours a day.#And then when I hit the end of season 4... I restart.#Immediately.#It is ALWAYS on in the background and I can hear it even if I'm not actively watching it.#I swear to you that I do actually have references for every single thing I say on this blog. even when i just spout idiot stuff out

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