#I've been told that i am good at it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

krawdad · 6 months

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It's so damn hard to puppeteer a character's right hand and have it actually blend convincingly into the rest of the character performance

#I've been told that i am good at it #being a principle performer is a complicated enough arrangement as it is #but doing assistant work is this entire other set of skills even #its the sort of thing where when it's being done well you don't notice it #like puppeteerting is very much about getting this inanimate object to emote and feel alive #but its also a lot of the time about being able to coordinate as a team into this unified being #like improvising a song with 2-8 people #wait i think it's principal. pretend i used the right one earlier

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genericpuff · 4 months

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vent post

#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO #anxiety is a hell of a thing #and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever #i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up #and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken #but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship #i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it #i am cringe and i am free #self post #vent post #altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read #too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll #i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made #i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol #i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim #i think both things can be true #i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like #while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium #“perfectly balanced as all things should be”

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lacomandante · 1 month

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HELLO i'm alive, I just barely survived 9 days in Girona doing costumes for Assumpta's short film reels.....and immediately after we came back I had to do some frantic sewing in time for the week of events planned for the Dos de Mayo. I met up with some new friends I had met at the Museo de Traje two weeks or so earlier, and my Spanish has improved SO MUCH during my time here. I am so happy and having SO much fun. I based this spencer off of one Assumpta wears in Rossini, Rossini!, and had two days to make it. I did my hair how Teresa's looks in a snood in Company, but made a madroñera instead- it's a little lower class than Teresa would've worn, I think, but it was appropriate. (I want to make all of the costumes Assumpta wears in her films and make a pre-war Teresa wardrobe, though I'll be remaking this red spencer!) Over the course of the week we walked through many parks, got to see the changing of the guard, we went to many palaces, and I got to participate in the Dos de Mayo parade and battle, which was insanely cool, and where the first two photos are taken! I also got to go to a wonderful ball and danced with all my friends, which I'll post photos of soon. Now that the events are over, I'm rereading Sharpe's Command bc I have my review in my drafts and want to revisit it.

#;ooc #;kiran goes to spain #(i had quite the crush on fernando who is in the bicorn hat)#(but he is gay LMFAOOOOOOOO just my goddamn luck)#(but he's a really amazing friend and my spanish has improved SO MUCH talking to him bc he doesnt speak any english)#(and he's patient and kind and very helpful and i've learned a lot)#(and a lot of my new friends have told me that A: my pronunciation is actually really good #(and B: that when I do speak I speak it like i've been speaking for years which is a HUGE shock to me and i am so so pleased)#(im going to be really sad when i go back home and loose this ability bc i have no one to practice it with)#(BUT i have so many photos and so much fun!!!!!!)

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alchemania · 7 months

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Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.

Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!

It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.

#as someone with depression and who's highly sensitive this story quest hurt a LOT because ive also encountered people who don't understand.#i've been told i need to get over my anxiety. i've been asked what am i so tired from since i just lay in bed.#so furina's character and how she was treated hit very very hard for me. she's isolating herself and not coping well but she is TRYING.#she's trying so hard and she equates her worth to her role. like she literally tells you that she serves no more use to anyone.#and i wanted to shake her so hard. because it's not about what she can do #she has worth simply because she exists. full stop. she is loved and she is appreciated just for being herself #her worth isn't decided by her power yk??#i hope she can rest and heal and find some good friends - after the way mc and paimon treated her i honestly don't think they should be #or if they are; they'd have to work to earn her trust cuz good LORD. they treated her so weird and so tone deaf!!#i've seen a lot of people complaining about it too so im glad im not alone.#anyway. there is something wrong with me i have cried actual tears over furina please god she needs a hug #and to be told she did a good job and she can rest now and things will get better #4.2 spoilers #genshin impact #furina

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deoidesign · 20 days

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#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

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bleaksqueak · 2 months

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see, ppl can say what they want about the resi 3 remake, but the remake got Mikhail perfect. Also i actually really love weird Puppy Nemesis lmao

#GET OFF OF HIS TRAIN SHITBIRD #ilu grandpa you did your best #I think the remake is fine #there's parts of the original I miss a ton #and parts I am glad are gone #mostly I'm just confused by the rose colored glasses everyone remembers wrt a nemesis that doesn't exist #he was never a random stalker he always had scripted spawns and due to the ps1 limitations the “random” was down to two or three options #with that said re3 remake coming off the heels of re7 with pretty good stalkers like jack and margeurite #and then directly off the heels of re2 with one of the best programmed game stalkers i've ever seen #he's a letdown for sure #I loved the pre-release rumors saying nemesis would chase you into safe rooms #that should have been a real thing #Oh wow is it really time for our regularly scheduled resident evil obsessing??#I wanted to name Nikolai after Mikhail but mercury spatted me with a newspaper and told me I had too many M names #I have had this fondness for hero grandpa for a long time okay #anyway I know that absolutely no one follows me for resident evil so lmao ignore my rambling #it's fine though #because no matter if you follow me for solivaga or homestuck :)#I've fed you resident evil no matter what #what do you mean parts of the harley manor are inspired by the spencer mansion!?#HAHA GOT'EM #what do you mean there's a ton of resident evil refs in soli #RAT STRIKES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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landgraabbed · 1 year

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sometimes you gotta take in the lil details

#non sims #i'll come up with a skyrim tag #in my tes era again #(always i just go sleeper agent on it ig)#still in my modding skyrim era i'm sick so that's not v conductive to me actually playing morrowind so this is what i've been doing #sad bc nammu made some good progress he joined house redoran he's actually level 3 and somehow keeps invading every vampire tomb #(i run away bc i cannot deal w that right now)#his slave bracers finally broke off <3 #i'll compile some screens and post tomorrow maybe #i truly am the people todd coward thinks about when bethany esda is concocting the latest installment of weird ass lore told through #environmental storytelling and esoteric books and an open world crafted with meticulous detail cursed with bugs up the wazoo #but yeah modding skyrim is being surprisingly fun after i figured out mod organizer #i have bookmarked some mods that require me to regen lods dyndolod or whatever it's called but i'll do that at the end #at least in morrowind that's how i do it #i did my engine fixes my bug fixes my graphics and sounds overhauls my model replacers enb landscapes and now my cities and locations mods #armor next and then i'll start overhauling combat #i'm gunning for dark souls like bc that combat style suits me rly well and i always hated melee in skyrim #(re: armors sforz i looked at your imitations previews and i'm in love i'll have fun experimenting w/ them i owe u my life)#but yeah...... 99% of my skyrim experience has been in ps save for a brief moment i pirated it on release on my shitty laptop i had then #it's been wonderful to actually mod it

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im-an-anthusiast · 2 months

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For Once

I can say, for once – for what my heart hunts

Let me write, for once – about things ideal

Let me show, for once – what it is I feel

I can say, for once – what I meant for months

I can’t believe that – we’ve only just met

You make me love that – for which I don’t live

You make me trust that – which I don’t believe

I can’t believe that – this, I’ve never felt

Get it off my chest – the love I’ve amassed

I am not obsessed – with you anymore

I am not obsessed – still, I love you so

Get it off my chest – the love we detest

I do my best to – be worthy of you

And all that I do – you accompany

And all that you do – all thrills, so many

I do my best to – love and cherish you

I want, so badly – to hold you gently

I love, how sadly – from pleasure I flinch

I love, so madly – of you, every inch

I want, so badly – to kiss you madly

I want, so badly – to kiss you gently

I love, so madly – I love all things yours

I love, how sadly – I can’t not be yours

I want, so badly – to hold you madly

I do my best to – always comfort you

And all that you do – makes me love you more

And all that I do – you are who it’s for

I do my best to – be cherished by you

Get it off my chest – the love without rest

I am not obsessed – still, you’re far too sweet

I am not obsessed – still, I act like it

Get it off my chest – the love I’ve confessed

I can’t believe that – this, I’ve just now felt

You make me trust that – which I never would

You make me love that – which I really should

I can’t believe that – this late, we have met

I can say, for once – I’ve loved you for months

Let me show, for once – how happy I am

Let me write, for once – a happy poem

I can say, for once – what all of me wants

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da-proti-toku-grem · 2 months

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why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for -#- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?'#i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy'#but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety??#i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day*#aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all.............#ranting

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boyywithluv · 2 months

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#having a creative rut feeling #gonna rant #im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well #and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that #like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw #but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it #i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh #idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make #and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame #but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset #im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay #bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know #I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content #multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame #but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't #vent ish

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monster-noises · 4 months

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man!!!!! I wish I was more confident talking to my friends who also write and draw about my writing! it would be Great to have Council but I lack the necessary skills of explanation and confidence

#monster noises #I haaaave perhaps been told several times in the past that people don't care about my stories and that #Perhaps #has affected my ability to talk to other people about them lmao #I'm running into immediate trepidation about how my one book opens because I've heard this kind of opening really #... well bad-mouthed isn't the right word but...#... talked down on #in the past #and it makes me Nervous #but this is always how the book has opened #and while I think I can fit the sort of plot mechanisim it fulfills later I Fully am not sure #how to make a good opening hook without this biut #I only got two paragraphs in tonight but I'm gunna go to beeeeed #my vision is getting blurry and my nose is getting stuffy and that usually means I should Pass Out

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essektheylyss · 9 months

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I don't know if this is a matter of being older, or of different school cultures, or just of time period, but I have been amused all week trying to connect with classmates remembering how when I started undergrad it was fully common practice to instantly and unthinkingly follow each other on tumblr

#I am still mutuals with some of them. jury's out on whether they remember who I am lol.#meanwhile I've just been adding people on discord and occasionally remembering to give people an actual phone number #did in fact get told my tumblr sounded intimidating but would I wanna connect somewhere and I was just #'wait what. I guess. if by intimidating you mean walls of text comprehensible only to those who want to watch 1000 hours of dnd'#anyway I did make friends and I did not share my tumblr cuz no one wants to see that.#I mean a good number of you apparently want to see it but like. I presume most of you have watched 1000+ hours of dnd.#megs vs mlis

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tirfpikachu · 2 months

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broooo not my ex making posts abt how hard it is to come to terms with being conventionally attractive while having low self-esteem issues and how wild it is to get compliments randomly on their appearance when they go out and how they're worried that their new transmasc boytoy is only into them bc they're hot -_- i'm tired... meanwhile i'm just seen as a gremlin now that i'm not hyperfem... they truly have the biggest issues in the world lol

also they were like "omg turns out i'm not ace i just needed a bf lol" and i'm like yeah. i know. you've been lusting after male characters for years. you were horny as fuck just not for me bc i didn't transition. you only made moves on me when you were bored, lonely or drunk. i always asked if that was the case and you were like no baby it's just your insecurities i don't need you to transition uwu. for 5 years. my trust issues are thru the roof now yayyyyy /dies

#lay text #i'm being mean and petty ugh #my heart kinda hurts but talking w my counsellor abt it helped #it rly helps to have a neutral third party to vent to #also i still think my ex is a good person i don't actually hate them i love them as a friend. but i do hate what they did to me #i hate that they went along w us dating bc they're too much of a doormat. i hate that they thought abt breaking up w me for years #but never told me bc they were worried i wouldn't survive without them financially or emotionally #feels so fucking infantilizing #now i'm so much better off without them despite being broke #that was my first and only real relationship my first time my first everything. i'm so embarrassed wtf i was RIGHT i was right all along #i was right it wasn't just insecurities they straight up never wanted me they wanted future transitioned male-passing me #it was all lies!!! from the get-go!!! meanwhile i did so much romantic bullshit and i was wearing rose colored glasses!!!!#and i was a big dyke. being with a woman who identified as a woman would've made me 2000x happier anyway. we could've just stayed roommates #i'm so bitter guys. i feel so jaded but i'm trying not to be :/#and now they have so much luck in their love life #and i'm just a lonely gremlin dyke who only attracts polyam/casual girls who only want me on the side #where tf is my love story :'( i've been trying SOOO FUCKING HARD to gain my ex's affection for 5 freaking years i was the most loveydovey g #i deserve a love story i think i've really earned it by now!!!!!#so much love to give #now they have it so easy wtf. feels unfair ngl. i'm happy for them obviously they deserve happiness too. but i am still bitter >:/#trying to process these feels instead of repressing them for once. i have a tendency to bottle up angst bc i think i'm bad for being mad #but nope those r healthy emotions!!! i can work thru this #it just sucks #if you read all of this bs i give you a cookie 🍪 <3

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theinternetisfulloftrash · 2 months

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It's fucking 4 am. It's FUCKING 4am. It's fuuuuuckingggg 4 am. It's FUCKing 4 am.

It's 4 am fucking.

#😈😈😈#listen... am I upset that I won't be able to sleep for like another hour now because that's how my brain works after Os?#and that we have plans tomorrow with my mother-in-law #and that my only excuse as to why I am as alert as the living dead is that her son was railing me into 2025 and its only Apri!!!#yes. the answer is yes.#and while I could scold him for waiting until fucking 4am to saunter into our room and threaten me with a good time....#who am I to argue with the Os of it all!? who I ask!?#the fucking 5th one that had me seeing stars and tasting clementines... lasted so long it might have been 6... who fucking knows!?#I'm currently delerious #i also told y'all i still had my degenerate membership card #i've just been on the hush hush #anyway...#it's fucking 4am #it's 4am fucking #personal #not dylan #hubs #doing this shit right at the wrong time

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devilsskettle · 3 months

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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/

#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take #i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday #each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy #selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need #standing all day long just fucking bored #hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in #ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day #when nothing new ever happens #and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either #i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling #and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me #i walk there i stand all day and i walk home #that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in #if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy #but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot #idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do #there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits #and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future #so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol #all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that

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isfjmel-phleg · 4 months

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😶

#random personal stuff #back on my soapbox feel free to ignore #I'm sorry - I know I harp on this a lot but #where did this 'just ask the Lord to remove that from you' (or something similar) approach to others' problems come from #and why is it so ingrained into multiple generations of women #instead of actually addressing a concern you raise you get told that #the solution to your problem is divinely-granted selective amnesia so it doesn't bother you anymore #or you get reminded that Jesus had it so much worse so any problem that you let yourself get down about is inconsequential by comparison #and I know the advice is well-meant but #...I mean when was the last time God wiped your memory on request?#when did Jesus ever make suffering a competition?#why are we more interested in sweeping others' bad feelings under the rug where we don't have to see them than in actually dealing with them #I open up about something that's troubling me and I get this kind of response and I feel dismissed!#and it's frustrating! especially from people whose struggles I try to be sympathetic toward when they talk about them #there's not a good solution but thank you for listening #I'm sorry I've been ranting but this visit puts me in a position where I can only speak my mind if it agrees with others #and I am an incorrigibly opinionated jerk and it all has to go somewhere #so I appreciate your patience with my lack of it

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