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#ITS BEEN HAPPENING A LOT TONIGHT WHY HAS IT BEEN HAPPENING A LOT.
sofs16 · 3 days
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a wild ride — ln4
fc: hailee steinfeld | warnings : celebrity x fan
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༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆imessage — lando and oscar Lando Norris
Osccccccc
who did you invite to the garage?
Oscar Piastri
A few celebrities that follow me and long time fans. McLaren gave a list of people we could invite.
Lando Norris
Did they tell you to interact with fans more too?
Oscar Piastri
Yeah. Logan said they told him and Alex the same, so I’m guessing not only us. [Reacted 👍🏻]
landonorris
📍 Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
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liked by carlossainz55, norrisupdated, and others
landonorris Exploring done. Back to work tomorrow. Let’s get it!
view all 21,484 comments
user1 thank you for unfollowing someone ♥︎ author
⤷ user2 ???
⤷user3 he followed 556 people and now 555 so angel number! norrisupdated i told my mom about you😖
⤷landonorris and what’d she say?
⤷ norrisupdated we’d make a good 🍐! ⤷ landonorris i like your humor, user norrisupdated
march 20, 2024
norrisupdated
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liked by landonorris, and 8,854 others
norrisupdated via landonorris’ Instagram post 😎 : “Exploring done. Back to work tomorrow. Let’s get it!“
— i hope he knows we’re waiting for a lando.jpg comeback
#landonorris #ln4
view all 295 comments
loverwags GIRL HE REPLIED TO YOUR COMMENT!!! ⤷ norrisupdated YES😭 trying to hard to act nonchalant abt this.
landonorris how are you so quick
⤷ norrisupdated LANDO WHY ARE YOU HERE 😭😭😭😭 and im ashamed to admit i’ve had years of practice on your notifs 😖
user3 praise lando for another norrisupdated admin reveal😍
⤷ user4 her main acc is legit on her bio 😭😭😭
march 20, 2024
ᝰ.ᐟ norrisupdated just posted a story!
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seen by landonorris, and 32k others
landonorris replied! 4:45 AM landonorris that was YOU? IM SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY FOLLOWED AND UNFOLLOWED YOU😭 ⤷ norrisupdated LANDO ITS FINE SORP STALKIHN ME IM SCARED ⤷ landonorris i thought fan accounts liked interactions 😢 ⤷norrisupdated Yes but it’s 4 in the morning and i’m processing this is you. ⤷ landonorris what??????? GO TO SLEEP ⤷ norrisupdated but if i sleep ill never talk to u again 😔 ⤷ landonorris i promise i will still stalk you by the time you wake up! now get sleep or else… SOMETJING ⤷ norrisupdated going to sleep 😙 thabsk for a great end of the day! ⤷landonorris anytimeeee… what’s you name, sorry? delivered
ynscloset
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liked by landonorris, and 92 others
ynscloset been tired lately, but!!!!!!!!! whatever today is a good day
view all 21 comments
19h ago
f1gossip
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Liked by f1wags, and 10,173 others
f1gossip Lando Norris just followed a a fan account... and her personal account!
Lando isn’t known for following a lot of fan accounts, but he has recently been replying to more comments. One of those comments made by one popular fan account, norrisupdated. Nothing out of the ordinary until Lando followed her and her main tonight.
New wag?
View all 392 comments
user1 What happened to that model he was allegedly seeing?
⤷ f1gossip Nothing really, it’s been 4 months. loverwags idk bout u guys but i ship😊 might be a lil weird to have a celebrity racer dating a fan but at least it’s yn. she’s been there since 2018 and isn’t even a crazy fan, she just updates😭
user2 he’s stalking her main HELPFME
user3 what do we know abt her
⤷f1gossip Not much aside from the fact she owns a bakery and update page…
user4 why a middle age woman like her running an update page😭
⤷ user2 MIDDLE AGE??? SHE’S 24😭😭😭😭
ynscloset Good Morning? ⤷ user6 😭😭😭
march 21, 2024
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ynscloset just posted a story!
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seen by yourbff, and 5 others
yourbff replied! 9:12 AM yourbff WHY DOES LANDONORRIS FOLLOW YOU ⤷ ynscloset because i commented that thing you told me to comment from norupdted and he replied??? and then he commented on my post and then he viewed all my stories and replied apologizing for that time he followed nd unfollowed me ⤷ yourbff BRUHHHHHH HE DMED YOU?? RPELY?? HOW DO YOU SLEEP AFTER THAT ⤷ ynscloset HE TOLD ME TO SLEEP AND WE’D CHAT IN TJE MORNING CUZ I SAID I WONT SLEEP CUZ HE WONT TALK TO ME THE NEXT DAY… YK ONCE IN A LIFETIME MOMENT!!! IM SCARED TO DM BUT THERES A MESSAGE UNREAD ⤷ yourbff must i say what you need to do😓 ⤷ ynscloset latererrr i will reply! gotta open the café!!! duties call ⤷ yourbff why do you even have that update account until now😒 ⤷ ynscloset BECAUSE I HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES AND WE HAVE A 5/6 YEAR BOND. ⤷ yourbff just saying this migjt be your opportunity to be a wag😽 ⤷ ynscloset i cant handle that pressure oh no😭 and its not gonna happen!!!!! bye!
ynscloset
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liked by landonorris, and 48,284 others
ynscloset whatta busy busy day! thank youuu for stoping by, new customers 🧡
view all 4,372 comments
user2 loll just cuz lando followed this girl theyre coming to her bakery😭
user3 passed by and many people kept asking her abr lando… let this girl work in peace
user4 why does lando follow her?
⤷ user2 lots of people think she’s his new gf
user5 LANDO IN THE LIKES
user5 ogs know yn from norrisupdated surviving the content drought 😖 ♥︎ author user6 i discovered you through a wag page, but now you’re my favorite baker (and your bakery is my new fave)! thanks for being so kind🥹🤍
⤷ ynscloset thank you for stopping by!!! hope to see ya again 🧡
user7 not this girl acting as if she a wag 😭😭
⤷ user1 she didn’t do anything…
ynscloset has limited the comments…
march 21, 2024
Lando Norris landonorris • instagram 8.5M Followers • 1,801 Posts You both follow each other on instagram
4:01 AM
Lando Norris
anytimeeee… what’s you name, sorry?
9:21 PM
norrisupdated
Yn! Hold up, I’ll message you from my main:)
[Reacted 🧡]
Lando Norris landonorris • instagram 8.5M Followers • 1,801 Posts You both follow each other on instagram
9:22 PM
Yn
Hi!
Sorry I replied so late, I just got home:/
Lando Norris
Hey! Isn’t it like 10 in the states?? Why so late
Yn
Yesss busy day at work:) actually, a lot of them are your fans asking me about you 😙
Lando Norris
I meant to apologize to you about that…
Sorry for all the hate you’ve been getting because I followed you
Yn
no biggie, i don’t mind it
i think i just need to go quiet for a bit and let it die down🙏🏼
Lando Norris
sounding like a professional over there??? done this before?😂
Yn
watched f1 enough to get the gist how it works LMAFFOF
Lando Norris
everrr attended a gp?
Yn
STILL saving up:/ at my bakery, the tip jar is labeled for me to watch a gp😔
Lando Norris
Woulddddd it be cool if I invited you over for the Suzuka GP?
Yn
Are you joking
Lando Norris
yes
seen for 2m
Lando Norris
wait no im not actually joking
wai dont leave me on seen
HELLO?
Yn
NOT cool dude
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Lando Norris
is this a no😢
Yn
wait
i would love to
BUT
lowkey in debt rn to afford a flight……………. I WILL FIND A WAY HOLD ON😂
Lando Norris
i could book you a flight
as you say, no biggie
Yn
what
thats too much
what
huh
what
Lando Norris
yn, i’m opening the website rn so tell me if youre available😔
Yn
yes im available 😊
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ynscloset just posted a story!
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seen by yourbff, and 7 others
yourbff replied! yourbff Context? ⤷ ynscloset Lando Norris is flying me out to Japan for the Suzuka GP.
21:45
Lando Norris
booked! whats your number for the deets?
Yn
How do I know you’re not hacked and you’re going to hack me next?
Lando Norris
….
i’m confused how you got to this question
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Enough proof?
Yn
close enough but that is not 11am in australia and its live on tv youre in practice 😖😖😖😖 #LandoHacked!
Lando Norris
damn youre good
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I just looked better in the other pic😒 embarrassing u look better at 9pm than me rn
Yn
why are you LYING
anyways +1 201 xxx xxx
[ Reacted 🧡 ]
Lando Norris
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Whats with the seenzoning 😓
delivered 21:54
Yn
HELLO SORRY
I bought food mb IM BACK
Lando Norris
Shit
dont apologize
IM sorry, i forgot to ask if youve eaten
What did u gettttt
Yn
dont worry! have you eaten?
i got mexcian food🤤
[Reacted 😍]
Lando Norris
I ate with the team earlier, just getting ready for FP1
Yn
gooooodluck lando!
gotta work, but ill be watching! p.s u should jpg post 😂
Lando Norris
gotta work, but ill be watching! ⤷goodluck working!!!! gotta visit that bakery soon:) ⤷ also a lot of pressure youre putting there😓 ill try my best
p.s u should jpg post 😂 ⤷lets see 🙈
f1gossip
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liked by ynscloset, and others
f1gossip End of FP1 with these top three!
view all 23 comments
user4 YN IN THE LIKES
march 22, 2024
— instagram notification !! [landonorris] ynscloset congrats on fp1!!!!!! hope you get the same results for the race 🤭
𐙚 twitter
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lando.jpg
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liked by ynscloset, and others
lando.jpg ask and u shall receiveeeeee
view all 2,832 others
user2 we all know who asked
⤷user4 who
⤷user3 yn! “i hope he knows we’re waiting for a lando.jpg comeback” from her last update post
user5 i love the yn lando lore sorry😭
⤷user6 im so rooting for them
march 22, 2024
mclaren
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liked by ynscloset, landonorris, and others mclaren HUGE POINTS HAUL! 👊🏻 A great drive from Lando and Oscar to deliver Down Under!🤩
view all 1,247 comments
march 24, 2024
ynscloset 🔒
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liked by landonorris, and 73,743 others
ynscloset an amazing week 🧡🧁
view all 3,371 comments
user2 we love youuuuuu
user5 yall made her go private😭😭😭😭😭 NOO
⤷ user1 atleast she’s still posting 🥹
yourbff i love him alr
⤷ ynscloset 😎
comments are limited …
march 25, 2024
f1gossip
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liked by 12,383 others
f1gossip Yn seen at the airport in Japan! Will she be attending the GP? view all 1,574 comments
user6 WELCOME BACK QUEEN SERENA
user7 not her being a golddigger alr lol she was photographed leaving from the first class section😭😭
⤷user6 get a job
april 3, 2024
f1gossip
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liked by landonorris, and 23,583 others
f1gossip What we’ve all been waiting for! Yn joins the McLaren garage today at the Suzuka Grand Prix where Lando came in 2nd! Lando and Yn weren’t seen together until they left together, but no photos have surfaced yet. Many people have said she was super nice and took pictures with a lot of people and even gave baked goods to the McLaren garage and some fans!! view all 4,284 comments
f1gossip📌 photos in order:
1. yn seen smiling at lando while outside the mclaren garage
2. yn taking pics of lando when he came on the screen
3. yn with a fan during the after party
4. yn on the big screen before the gp started!
5. yn and lando’s front wing while mclaren workers were describing the car and stuff (people say she was asking questions and super excited)
6. yn with a fan again! they said she had to go because lando was waving at her 🥹
user5 idk what yall say, i like her
user7 SHE GAVE ME A CUPCAKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭
april 7, 2024
landonorris
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liked by ynscloset, and others
landonorris a great week!
view all 43,273 comments
carlossainz55 wonder why
april 8, 2024
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ynscloset just posted a story!
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seen by landonorris, and 839k others
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479 notes · View notes
pinkseas · 5 months
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girls when they don't Usually worry about the weird heart stuttery suddenly breathless for a split second thing bc it happens pretty rarely vs. it happening Multiple Times in the span of a few hours and now it's freaking them the fuck out
2 notes · View notes
bluebellhairpin · 10 months
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Been chasing the snake so I can ask it why it bit me, rather than trying to get help for the venom.
2 notes · View notes
tonycries · 4 months
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Why Can't I Keep My Fingers Off You? [Part 2] - G.S. 
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Synopsis. “Besides, Toru, just because it worked for you doesn’t mean it’ll work for me.” “Wanna bet?” For Satoru, convincing you to take the aphrodisiac chocolate too wasn’t the hard part - the hard part was being shoved into that bathroom stall, cock throbbing, mind spinning - trying not to beg for mercy. 
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, unprotected sex, slight femdom, overstimulation (male), lots of cum, you absolutely ruin Satoru, semi-public sex, subby! Satoru, aphrodisiac sex, multiple rounds, shutting up Gojo Satoru by making him cum in his pants, pet names (darling, my girl), swearing.
Word count. 3.7k
A/N. Can be read as a standalone, but PART 1 HERE.
Bros this was mad hard to write oml. Art by @_3aem on X.
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Satoru had everything he needed to absolutely ruin you tonight.
Overpriced Cartier glasses? Check.
Jet-black Hellcat freshened up, ready with a little surprise for you inside? Check.
You, all dolled up and brows furrowed adorably at him? Holy shit, check.
“Toru, if we’ve missed our reservation because you had beef with the neighborhood cat again…”
“He was looking at you wrong! I had to defend your honor!” Dramatic protests falling on deaf ears, Satoru speeds through the darkening city streets, still grumbling under his breath about “cats these days”.
With your fiancé being absolutely swamped with missions recently, you’d been anticipating this night for weeks now.
Little did you know, Satoru had just as much - if not more.
Soon enough, the neon lights of that upscale, new restaurant you’d been absolutely dying to visit recently come into view. 
Okay, it’s time. 
“Y’know…” he begins, glancing at you with that familiar mirthful glint in his eyes. Laughter bubbling to his throat at your knowing stare, he plows on “Remember that one night where I just so happened to come across your special chocolate?”
“You mean swiped from my secret stash?”
“Semantics” he waves off. “But anyway, I was thinking…” he voice trails off mischievously as he swiftly turns to grab the mysterious black bag sitting on the backseat that you’d been eyeing suspiciously ever since you got in the car.
Oh shit, so that’s what he was onto. Eyes widening, “Toru, no.”
He whines, a pout forming on his lips. “C’monnn, no one’s gonna know except me. I want to make this night unforgettable, my girl.”
You raise a brow, “Unforgettable? Toru, your idea of unforgettable will end up with both of us arrested.”  After the madness of last time, you’d ignored his sticky note for a reason!
Letting out an exasperated sigh, you try to justify - probably to yourself just as much as Satoru, “And just because the aphrodisiac worked for you doesn’t mean it’ll work for me.”
He wiggles his eyebrows, twinkling eyes still undeterred. “Wanna bet? I’ll do the dishes for all of next month. We’ll never know till we find out, darling.” 
You narrow your eyes at the hand already snaking its way inside the bag, faded finger marks from last time still searing into your skin. Catching Satoru’s gaze - behind the amusement, something else shines darkly. 
Shit.
Goosebumps erupt down your spine. 
A beat passes. One. Two. Only the revving of the engine filling the tense air. 
“...two months.” 
It’s all Satoru can do to not jump in joy in his seat right now - knowing his girl, you’ll probably take back what you said and immediately bonk him on the head for being so ridiculous. 
“Deal.” he mutters lowly, pulling up to the driveway.
 A flash of hot pink. In the short time it takes the valet to reach your car, Satoru has already split that too-familiar chocolate, holding out the bigger part to you, eyes gleaming with excitement. “I swear this’ll be a night you won’t forget.” he grins, biting into the chocolate. 
God, he was going to be the death of you. 
The decadent flavor washes over your tongue, a slight tingling on your tastebuds. But, it’s still just chocolate, right? You scoff - at least you won’t have to do the dishes for two months.
Now, Satoru knows he won’t have to do the dishes for two months. 
Ah, how heavenly you’d be, splayed out and begging for mercy underneath him. Heels clacking against the polished tile and your hand warm in his as the maître d’hôtel ushers you both inside, dick twitching in anticipation. Shit, was the chocolate working already?
He risks a glance at how you’re faring - nope, still normal. That’s okay, he’ll be driving you crazy in no time.
---
Okay, maybe he won’t be driving you crazy in no time. 
How dare you sit there so gorgeous and unbothered, sipping slowly on your wine while he’s here mind whirling around how he’ll fuck you right here right now on this table without getting arrested for public indecency.
Fuck, it was hitting him hard.
Cock aching, heat rushing to his cheeks, eyes bleary - he sighs in frustration, resigning himself to do the dishes for two months.
Why did he even think of this? Damn his big fucking ego, he should’ve never taken that chocolate again. Maybe if he eats you out just right he could lower it to-
A feathery touch on his thigh. Too light for any sort of friction - just enough to set his skin ablaze. So deft that Satoru thinks he must’ve imagined it.
Until there it is again. Soft caress dancing delicately up his thigh. 
You.
A shiver creeps down his spine, blood rushing straight to his dick. Probably for the first time in his life, Satoru is speechless - maybe because you’ve reached underneath the table, teasingly sliding a heel along the top of his thigh.
“…darling…”
“Hmm?”
He blinks away the haze in his eyes, raising them to meet yours. “Wha-”
Oh. Oh, fuck.
What has he gotten himself into?
Eyes half-lidded, brows furrowed, and looking into his soul with a predatory glint that jolts the great Gojo Satoru right to his very core - and to his throbbing cock. He’d be lucky to make it out alive. Maybe he should just beg for his life right now.
Minutes tick by - or maybe it was seconds - Satoru is clueless. Mind only focused on the heel inching closer and closer, dangerously near to where he needed you the most. A smug smirk curls your pretty lips as his mouth drops into a soft oh.
The air crackles with an unspoken tension - his hips trying to subtly move you towards the erection furiously straining against his pants. He needed it so bad. It’s fucking pathetic, he knows. But he couldn’t give less of a fuck as your sole grazes his aching head. Pressing down. Hard.
“Fuck!”
Stomach flipping - before Satoru could fully process what the fuck was happening - he cums embarrassingly in thick spurts that pool on his pants, soaking right through the fabric, probably smearing on your new heels.
Head spinning, he bites his knuckles hard enough to draw blood, muffling the desperate moans threatening to escape his lips. 
He grinds his hips in shallow, mindless motions in a desperate attempt for more friction.
Instead, he gets the opposite.
“Behave, Toru.” you warn, swiftly resting your heel back on the floor, voice strained with something that makes his sensitive dick quiver animalistically. 
You huff out a chuckle at the almost-inaudible whimper of disappointment that rips from his throat. It’s laughable, really, he was supposed to be the one ruining you. This was so not fucking suave.
Face burning - whether due to the chocolate or embarrassment at the warm patch on his pants, he doesn’t even know - Satoru wishes the Earth would swallow him up whole. Would it be overkill to just teleport outta here?
The only thing that snaps Satoru out of his little reverie is your pretty lips forming into a tut. “Now now, Toru. It’s rude to make a mess at a restaurant. Why don’t we go to the restrooms and get you cleaned up, hm?”
Oh. Shit. 
A firm grip on his arm, his hands desperately covering his crotch. 
He was not going to make it out of this alive. 
Honestly, it wasn’t hard to bribe the waitress into letting you follow into the restroom after your fiancé - and put up an Out of Order sign promptly afterward. The actual hard part was trying not to rip off his clothes and give into your desires before you two even made it there. But you couldn’t let anyone else see him like that, of course. 
You were sure that if you had Satoru’s powers then you would’ve hollow purpled everyone here and taken him already.
You were going to ruin him.
Mind running a mile a minute, Satoru wouldn’t even be surprised if he’d just teleported to the restroom. If he was in a better state of mind he might’ve even admired the decor.
“My girl.” he breathes out, voice ragged. It’s all that is said before your lips are on his. 
It was like a fever dream - the bruising urgency of your lips, your aching pussy, and the heat of the stall as your quickened breaths mingle in a desperate dance. Your tongue intertwining with his. 
Manicured nails ripping his shirt open, you don’t have half the mind to register the designer buttons hitting the floor.
Satoru’s lips hazily chase yours as you pull away delicate strings of spit snapping just as quickly as your sanity. 
Your mouth waters at Satoru’s chest in all its chiseled glory, creamy skin peeking out from whatever remnants of the shirt were clinging to his sculpted shoulders. You wanted to ruin him.
“You dirtied my heels, Toru.” you frown, mockingly innocent. A choked-up gasp leaves his throat as you snake a hand down to firmly grip the erection straining against Satoru’s wet pants. Unmoving. “What shall we do about that, hmm?” 
“Ah! Please, my girl.”
“Please what? Use your words, Toru.”
“Please. Wanna cum so bad.”
Satoru learned the hard way that he could never turn back after uttering those words. 
Though, he already had an inkling once you immediately slam him against the stall door, fumbling with his belt, nails digging hard into his prominent v-line. “If you say so, Toru. Better not stop till you’re shooting blanks.”
The only thing that registers in his mind is the deadbolt echoing throughout the empty bathroom and his still-rock hard cock throbbing in your hands. 
“Ah- hah! Fuck.” low groans leave his throat at each jerky movement down his length. 
Head thrown back, pants bunched underneath his heavy balls, your tits pressing against his body as your hands urgently move along his veined length - up, up, up. 
Your thumb harshly teases his flushed head, spreading the precum from his leaking tip lewdly. “Oh God.”
His knees buckle, hands slamming against the top of the stall hard enough to make the walls tremble, desperately trying to keep himself from collapsing. Mind spinning, he doesn’t even know if he’s on planet Earth anymore.
“Toru~ Gonna let me join in on the fun?” your dangerous purr sends his cock twitching, breath hot against his ear.
Your cunt quivers, slick soaking your panties and trailing down your legs at the pornographic moans spilling from his lips as you fucked his thick cock with your fist. You wanted him so badly it was driving you insane.
Straddling a muscled thigh, your clothed core meets the fabric of his pants. It was already ruined, so what was another stain?
You grind your hips down on him, hard. Humping him like an animal in heat. 
Your slick seeping into the fabric of his leg. Harsh texture stimulating your needy cunt so painfully good. Swollen folds parting, mewls of pleasure leave your swollen lips as your clit catches on the rough fabric of his overly expensive pants. Over and over. 
Distantly, you register a strong hand tugging roughly on the thin fabric of your panties - easily ripping it and letting it fall to god-knows-where. 
Your hand doesn’t let up either, milking Satoru’s cock mercilessly the way you’d been dying to ever since you stepped foot into his restaurant. Your head spins, hips moving so animalistically on Satoru’s thigh.
A hand reaches down to sensually massage his heavy balls, squeezing and pressing hard circles - just the way you knew he liked it. 
“Oh, my girl. Always so good t’me- Ah! Hngh, gonna-” 
Satoru doesn’t get to finish his sentence before he’s pumping hot ropes of seed that decorate your pretty hands. Hips fucking up into you desperately.
You’re not far behind, juices squirting all over that expensive fabric, pooling on the tiled ground with a drip! drip! drip! that bounces off the walls of the restroom.
You two were so fucking loud. 
But right now, you wouldn’t even mind if anyone walked in to see your Satoru so debauched - as long as they see you fucking the soul out of him as well. 
It wasn’t enough.
“You said you wanted to cum, didn’t you, Toru?”
A shiver runs down his spine - all the way to his dick. “What? W-wait, darling. Fuck- Oh!” the strained words tumble out of Satoru’s kiss-bitten lips as you push down his soaked pants, kneeling to leave a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down to his twitching, thick base. 
“I won’t be merciful, Toru.”
Ah, you could do this forever.
Nipping teasingly till you’re satisfied with the bite marks decorating his pelvis, you pool the saliva in your mouth, spitting a long stream into his furiously flushed head.
Once. Twice. Mixing enticingly with his precum, trailing down his length. “Ah! Hngh- oh, darling. So sensitive-” he bucks his hips into you, moaning loudly.
“You can do it f’me, Toru.” you murmur darkly against his twitching tip. Satoru keens as you take him until his fat head hits the back of your throat, pulsing around your warm mouth.
Your fiancé’s choking on his breaths more than you as you hollow your mouth, bobbing up and down at a ruthless pace. Gagging, you shove his throbbing dick all the way in with a desperation that eclipses the need for air, till you’re nose-deep in those tufts of snowy hair. 
“Oh, darling. Jus’ like that. Losing m’mind.” he whines.
Your pussy quivers at Satoru’s slightly salty taste, making you moan around his rock-hard length. Drool and precum dribble down the corner of your mouth, mixing with the mascara running down your cheeks. It was debauched. It was messy. And it was exactly how you wanted him. 
Tonguing Satoru’s sensitive slit in a delicate dance, you feel drunk off his sinful moans as you suck on him desperately. Breathless. Craving for more. 
Looking up to see a delicate streak of tears falling down his pretty face at the overstimulation, your cunt clenches around nothing. Fuck, you could just devour him.
“Cum, Toru.”
It was too much for him- 
Tight balls twitching sensitively, he cums onto your ready tongue. Fucked out whimpers leave his lips, tears clinging to his long, white lashes as he paints your pretty mouth with his thick, white seed.
Ah, he was always your favorite taste. Tasted so good - so good that you could cum untouched. 
And you do.
Eyes rolling to the back of your head and pussy clamping down on nothing as you reach your high.
You milk his cock ruthlessly, relishing in the thick cum flowing down your throat. But it still wasn’t enough.
Removing yourself off his dick with a lewd pop! you reach a hand to grab Satoru’s flushed throat, nails placed right over his thundering pulse. With a single tug, the great Gojo Satoru is on his knees before you, in the bathroom of some fancy restaurant. 
Walls still quivering, you stand over him, connecting your sweaty forehead - and your mouth - with his. 
Kiss-bitten and smeared with your lipstick, Satoru’s lips are soft - or maybe that’s the cum coating yours. A part of you delights in his half-lidded, fucked out gaze as your eyes bore into his - does he even know what he’s doing anymore? 
Hot seed flowing down his throat, Satoru can do nothing else but kneel there and take it. He feels lightheaded, all the blood in his brain rushing to his cock as you suck on his tongue. This was driving him insane. You were insane.
And he fucking loved it.
“You d-drive me insane, my girl.” his words muffled by your hand still around his throat. His voice cracks with sensitivity in a way he would definitely be embarrassed about if he were in the right mind. 
Yet, how could he ever be with the slow, feral smile that spread across your beautiful face?
Leaning down, you whisper lowly against his ear. “I’m the same, Toru.” 
Maybe it’s your words, and the hot breath that sends shivers down his spine. Or maybe it’s the way you lift your dress so alluringly - cunt dripping on full display, slick trailing down your legs. 
All Satoru knows is, he’s surging forwards. He’s got your front pressed against the cold wall, cock twitching to life and bullying its way through your swollen folds. 
Mindlessly, a strong hand smacks against the stall as Satoru tries to keep himself steady. Too drunk off of you - off of your whimpers of his name, and the feeling of your plush walls clamping down on his throbbing erection, struggling to accommodate his size despite being so dripping wet. 
He doesn’t give a fuck. 
“Hngh- S’tight. Oh, fuck! S-sucking my cock back hah- in s-so needily” 
Ramming in and out of your hole at a merciless cadence, Satoru’s balls smack your clit so animalistically. You two feel like a pair of fucking animals. 
Shudders of overstimulation and pleasure wrack his body. Chest heaving, his blown-out eyes roll to the back of his head at the rapid, desperate thrusts inside your warm core. 
Pulling out all the way to slam back in mercilessly, Satoru could pass out at the sight of your ass jiggling as it arches to meet the rhythm of his hips. 
“God, m’girl. Gonna- gonna cum ah! Fill this pussy the way you want-” he groans raspily into the heady air of the stall, exhausted cock shooting wispy strings of cum that fill you up - some missing as he pumps into you, spilling out to paint your swollen folds white.
Before he knows it, a low hiss leaves his throat as you remove yourself off of his furiously pulsing cock - only to shove him seated on the commode. 
You take a split-second to admire your gorgeous fiancé - face flushed as much as the prettily leaking tip of his throbbing cock, eyes dazed and miles away, curtained by his sweaty white locks. A delicate trail of drool made its way down the corner of his ruby, kiss-bitten lips. Exactly how you wanted him.
What a fucking picture. Maybe you should take that chocolate more often…
“Toru~ Remember what I said? You’re not tapping out, are you?” you hum, eyes narrowing at the way his erection twitches so ferally at your dangerous tone. 
“Ah- don’t know- Can’t, please.”
You loom dangerously close, a hand reaching out to mockingly push his cheeks together, drool pooling at your fingertips. “I’ve told you before, Toru. Use your words. Please what?”
“M-mercy, please!” pathetic pleas muffled by your hand.
“Mercy?”
“Mercy!”
“No mercy for you, my darling Toru.”
The great Gojo Satoru, begging for mercy, will face none at your hands. 
You straddle his muscled legs, shivering with sensitivity. “Ah! Hah- Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god-” he whines nonstop as his quivering tip teases your swollen, messy folds. In one, fluid motion, you sheath him fully in your dripping cunt.
Ah, you feel so full. 
You relish in the way he twitches instinctively inside you. Steadying yourself using Satoru’s shoulders, you drag your cunt along his length, his prominent veins grazing that one spot inside you. Pulling out till his thick head teases your entrance, you drop down - inch by inch - over and over.
Satoru thinks he could cry right now - or maybe he already is. He doesn’t know, nor does he care - not when you’re so beautiful and fucked out, nails digging into his shoulders and heart eyes palpable in your gaze as you ride his sensitive cock into insanity.
He can’t stop the ragged moans that escape his swollen lips, head thrown back and hips bucking up exhaustedly into you to meet your every bounce. A hand is at his throat, pulling your face to his, “Don’t run away, Toru~”
He felt so raw. More a feral beast than a man as he watches his abused cock get swallowed up over and over by your wet pussy.
If he thought his dick was broken after this time then it’s really unsalvageable now.
He wanted to run away. He wanted more. He wanted you to keep looking at him with that fucking predatory gaze that made a carnal part of him twitch so good. He wanted to cum.
“I wan’- I wanna cum, please, my girl.” Satoru gasps out, teary eyes blown and looking up at you so delicately.
“Cum?”
“Yes.”
“Cum, Toru.”
Maybe it was the glint of fondness in your eyes, maybe it was the piercing of teeth as you bit down hard into the crook of his neck. Or maybe it was the way your snug cunt clamped down on him so sinfully as you cum as around him. But Satoru is immediately bucking up into your hips - reaching his climax, if you can even call it that. Poor, exhausted cock cumming dry. “Ah- Cumming- M’cumming hgnh-”
Satoru doesn’t even know if he feels his orgasm, just waves of pleasure that overwhelm him as he rides it out on your cunt. 
Ah, he thinks if heaven was a person then it would be you. 
Maybe he’s died already.
“Toru? Open your eyes, darling.”
Slowly opening the eyes that he didn’t even realize he had furiously scrunched closed, Satoru slowly blinks his vision back.
An angel?
“No, Toru, your fiancé.” you huff out a laugh. Oh shit, he said that out loud? 
Head still reeling from, well, everything - the great Gojo Satoru can do nothing else but sit there, exhausted and fucked out of his mind as you slowly remove yourself off his twitching cock. He’s never felt so vulnerable - so ruined.
Ah, someone remind him to never let you have a bite of that chocolate every again. 
A low hiss leaves him, along with a few tears that later he swears were never there. 
As you tenderly clean both yourselves up in the humid stall, Satoru thinks he’s never been handled with so much care. Ah, he loves your gentle hands. He loves you.
“I love you too, Toru.” you whisper into the intimate silence. Oh, shit, he said that out loud again?
Your beautiful laugh, “Yes, you did, Toru.” Throwing away the used tissues, you grin “Y’know they’ve probably brought out our food by now.”
Absent-mindedly, “Mhm?”
“I was thinking I wanted chocolate for dessert.”
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A/N. Oh Satoru, you poor, innocent fool…
Also this turned out longer than expected. Reblogs so so appreciated!
Plagiarism not authorized.
Taglist:
@sage-ove @mo0nforme @thirtykiwis @planetzetra
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leilanihours · 1 month
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# IMGONNAGETYOUBACK
pairing: paige bueckers x ex-gf/iowa!reader
word count: 4880
warnings: suggestive content, arguing
summary: your "rivalry" with a certain uconn blonde has its speculation, but no one knows what happened behind the scenes.
⭑ from lani: why is every single thing ive posted based off of a song..anyways..hope yall enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it
AS YOU SLIP into your black jersey, adrenaline courses through your veins. you and your teammates have successfully carried iowa to the final four of march madness. you've all come this far and refuse to break the streak.
but similar to your previous game against lsu, there's a lot of speculation surrounding the tension on the court with uconn. people are going crazy over the paige bueckers and caitlin clark face-off, but they’re going even crazier over your own heated interactions with the blonde.
the internet has decided to constantly pit you two against each other after observing your intense taunting and confrontations in previous years. they believe that it’s merely competitive tendencies but they have no idea where it all actually stems from.
you haven’t always been a hawkeye. for your first two years of college, you were a husky through and through. the public knows this, of course, which adds to the stigma around your name. but after a season-ending injury, you decided you needed a change of pace and environment. it was nothing personal against your teammates, coach, or school in general, you just felt like uconn wasn't where you were supposed to be.
so after you were in the transfer portal, everyone went ballistic. there was a plethora of reactions - some encouraging and supportive, others targeted and calling you a "traitor."
that's what the public is aware of. but they have yet to discover the deeper scars.
"you gonna lock in, y/n?" one of your teammates asks from behind you. turning around, you are met with caitlin, the other hawkeye under extremely close observation tonight.
"i gotchu," you smirk, "what about you? you gonna carry the team again?”
"you already know," she says, mirroring your expression. the two of you have gotten very close over the past couple years, which honestly makes the whole paige situation worse as people make comments like "caitlin and y/n versus paige is crazy" or "ready for this 2v1 game tonight!” they piss all three of you off but really just add to the hype and buildup of the game.
soon enough, your coach is ushering all the girls out of the locker room and onto the court. screams and cheers fill your ears as the crowd observes your entrance. and damn, if your ego wasn't high before, it definitely was now.
the two sides of the arena were filled, one side a sea of navy and white, the other a myriad of gold and black. music blasts from the speakers and makes the walls shake with energy. as you make your way over to the bench, you raise your arms repeatedly to get the crowd going. gaining an immediate reaction, you smile big and put your hand to your ear to play into the praise.
your teammates shake their heads at your antics. they know how competitive you can get. you tend to interact with the crowd and cameras a lot, but no one (especially fans at home) complains.
the crowd before you quiets down for a split second as you focus back onto what your coaches are saying in the huddle. suddenly you hear echoes of booing and other taunts as everyone turns around to see the uconn girls run out excitedly. the last one to come out is none other than paige bueckers, blonde hair in her signature braids and ponytail immediately catching your eye.
part of the reason people always compare you to her is because of how similar you are. your game style, skill set, and energy has always resembled the husky's, but you never understood it until she does the exact same hand motions you did but to the uconn supporters.
as she turns away from the crowd, her eyes dart around to find yours, doing so in a matter of seconds. her icy blue eyes sending a chill down your spine and she hold intense contact. fuck. she knows exactly what she's doing. 
you can tell from the few seconds your eyes are glued to hers that she still wants you. you just know. there's too much emotion behind the stare, saying everything that needs to be said and more.
coach bluder gives the run-down on defensive assignments quickly and explains some of the plays. somehow, by some force of nature, you're stuck guarding the one person you were conflicted with: number 5, paige bueckers.
your teammates all turn to you as soon as the words leave your coach's mouth. they are well aware of your special history with the blonde as well as your complicated relationship now.
"you got that, y/n?" caitlin asks you.
"yeah," you shrug, "you don't have to worry about me. i'm good." and you meant it. you were sick of being compared to paige all the time and were ready to show people who's better.
did you still care for the girl? of course; you always have and always will. but will you let that get in the way of your winning streak? hell no.
the referee beckons each team to the center of the court for the tip-off. hannah sets herself up for the jump ball, standing across from aaliyah edwards on uconn's side. 
you confidently walk over to where paige is standing. your eyes meet hers once again as you wordlessly dap her up, offering a civil front. you already know you'll being seeing the clip on your feed a lot tomorrow morning.
despite the cordial interaction, your mind is running wild at the feel of paige's long fingers brushing against yours. you missed her like crazy, but were also upset with her for multiple different reasons. right now you were enemies, opponents, rivals. but in a few hours after the game? well you would have to wait and see.
the ref throws the ball in the air and aaliyah manages to get her fingers on the ball first to swat in her teammates' directions. uconn almost immediately turns it over due to paige missing kk's pass as the ball goes out of bounds. it's just too easy.
------
the buzzer sounds loudly, signaling the end of the second quarter and halftime. you and your teammates jog to the locker room, sweaty and out of breath. the score was currently 32-26 with uconn in the lead.
you had to admit, that definitely wasn't your team's best first half but you were ready to come back twice as hard.
"c'mon guys," lisa yells, "we gotta seriously up our game right now and fight against their defense. keep giving them as many fouls as possible.
"caitlin, we're gonna try to give you more threes, so everyone else, if caitlin has the ball set those screens, got it?"
you all nod wordlessly as you pay attention to her words. your coach turns to you, looking you directly in the eye, her stare deadly.
"y/n, you gotta push bueckers more, don't direct all your focus on getting cait the ball. really use that energy that i know you have."
"yeah i hear you," you pant as you wipe your forehead with a towel. 
one of the coaching assistants hands you a waterbottle, so you immediately squeeze the ice cold water into your mouth without putting the nozzle on your lips. it's a habit that you have whenever you're in a rush or busy thinking about something.
"and one more thing, y/n," you hear your coach call you before you make your way back on the court, "please, for the love of god, leave your emotions out of it tonight."
the words shoot a prick in your chest, not expecting such a direct statement. nonetheless, you nod firmly, agreeing with her as you jog to where your team is lingering.
you may or may not have had a few...touchy altercations with a certain number 5.
like in the middle of the first quarter...
------
"bueckers with the lay-up, does she get it? no! it is rebounded by l/n!"
your hands grasp the ball tightly under the net but before you can make your way over to the opposite side of the court, another set of hands on the ball stops you.
you look up to see paige also grabbing the ball as it sits in your hands, starting to fight to get it in her possession. with the two of you pulling back and forth, the refs whistle blows to put an end to the quarrel.
however, you two continue to push until one of your teammates wraps their arms around you to pull you off. walking away, you laugh, energized by the interaction. you put your hands up in surrender as kate releases you from her grip.
you turn your head back around to see that paige has also been forcefully pulled away by one of her own teammates with a similar expression on her face, clearly as equally as fired up as you.
------
and the middle of the second quarter...
------
"THREEEEEEE! Y/N L/N!"
you flex your arms and let out a proud yell. it's your 4th score of the night and you feel amazing. your teammates clamor over to you, patting you on your back and bumping you with their chests.
paige failed to block your attempt, putting her arms up and jumping but not being able to reach the ball before it falls in the net.
seeing her tough front falter for a second, you point a finger to her just to spice up the game a little more and get the crowd really going. she shakes her head and chuckles darkly, waving you off with a hand.
"did you see that? bueckers and l/n back at it again with their supposed rivalry, what a dynamic duo, am i right?"
------
time flies rapidly as the clock runs down. it's the last quarter of the game and tensions are at an all time high. with less than 10 seconds left, iowa has the lead 71-69. it's way too close for comfort.
everyone's on edge. the announcers narrating the game for folks at home, coaches, benched teammates, the audience on either side of the court.
when uconn forces a turnover, you stand out of bounds waiting to pass the ball in. 1.1 on the clock. paige stands with her back to you. no one could've predicted your next move. 
you take advantage of her guard let down and quickly bounce the ball off of her, chopping the time in half as she fails to catch it in time and lets it out of bounds once again.
you feel a second of remorse once you catch the defeated look on her face. but you couldn't let the game slip out of your hands that easily. not without a fight.
less than one second on the clock, there's no way for uconn to win. caitlin passes the ball to gabbie who simply throws it high in the air to run down the clock.
the buzzer sounds as you and your teammates run into a group hug, screaming and cheering. you have a small celebration before going to the handshake line. as you pass and commend the uconn coaches and players, you allow your fingers to linger on paige's for a second longer than others.
when she meets your eyes there’s a look of hurt apparent in them, yours filled with guilt. you know how important that game was to her, to her entire collegiate career. but this game was also important to you, she had to know that.
------
your teammates insisted on celebrating at a nearby bar and restaurant, feeling high off the recent victory.
you were obviously down to go with them, but decided to take a little extra time in the locker room showers just to get some peace and quiet to yourself. you tell the girls that you'll catch up in your own car.
so now you're changing into a fresh set of clothes in a dim, empty locker room. some people might find the setting eerie but you enjoy the stillness of it all, especially after the day you've had. 
you’re wearing a basic white crop top and a muted purple skirt, a thick black leather jacket draped over your shoulders to protect yourself from the cold evening air. as you grab your backpack and make your way out to the gym’s parking lot, you spot a familiar figure wandering around aimlessly.
of fucking course i'm left here with her, you think.
you let out an irritated sigh as you continue to rub a small towel against your head to dry your hair.
the sound of your shoes against the pavement catches paige's attention and causes her to turn around. when she observes your relaxed, freshly showered figure, her chest tightens. whether it's from hatred or attraction, she doesn't know.
"hey," she yells to you, stalking over.
you look up to her direction and laugh, "you look like a lost puppy, bueckers."
"damn," she says, "first you decide to beat me and now you're insulting me and calling me by my last name? way to kick me when i'm down, y/n.”
you try not to display how flustered you feel when she says your name like that, “i didn't decide to beat you, i just did. deal with it."
"attitude much? i'm just tryna be civil, ma, no need for the hostility."
that fucking nickname.
"did you need something from me? i'm just tryna meet up with the team so spit it out."
"you heading to the bar?"
"yes," you say skeptically, "how the hell do you know that?"
"i'm heading there too, dumbass," she replies.
"what the hell are you talking about?"
"your team invited mine to hangout," of course they did, "is that a problem?"
"might be," you respond shortly, "so why are you here if the rest of your team is at the bar?"
"i could ask you the same question, l/n," she mocks the way you say her last name.
"i asked you first."
"eager to hear me talk i see." before you can reject the idea she interrupts you, “it’s okay, i know how much you love my voice."
she's not wrong, of course, but you would never admit it to her face. you ignore the question with a roll of your eyes.
"i took a longer shower than everyone else,” you shrug, “told 'em i'll just meet them there. your turn."
she laughs nervously before answering, “uh, i was supposed to get a ride from azzi but i guess she forgot," she says as she looks around the empty parking lot. now it's your turn to tease her.
"that's crazy," you laugh and shake your head, "your own friends don't even wanna be around you."
"man, shut up," she scoffs.
there's a beat of silence before you begin to walk to your car, getting the hint that the conversation was over.
you hear paige groan behind you before asking, "yo..do you think you could give me a ride?"
the nerve.
"excuse me?" you say incredulously as you unlock your car door and slip into the driver's seat. the blonde jogs up to your car, resting an arm on the frame of your door. you become hyper aware of how close you are, and how good she looks.
for the first time since you started talking to her, you take in her appearance. she's wearing a light blue cropped tank top, almost like a sports bra, and dark gray distressed jeans. there's a white uconn hoodie in her hands.
the amount of skin exposed makes your body heat up. the way her arms are flexed against your car makes you think back to the many times they've been flexed underneath your weight.
“can i. get. a ride.” she staggers out, like it’s painful to ask you for a favor. you take advantage of her position immediately.
“i dunno, can you?” you smirk.
“i fucking hate you, do you know that?”
“i dunno, do i?”
“dude.”
you throw your head forward in a laugh, shoulders shaking at her irritation.
“you’re so easy to piss off, i love it.”
“yeah well there’s a lot of other things about me that i know you love but we don’t have to talk about that.”
“do you want a ride or not?” you deadpan, “’cause if you’re gonna act like this all night i don’t want you at the bar, bro.”
“‘bro’? that’s what we’ve come to? that’s even worse than just bueckers, y/n.”
“just shut up and get in the car.”
“yes ma’am,” she says with a mock salute as she closes your door and jogs around the front of the car to the passenger seat.
as you turn on the engine, paige settles into the spot next to you and immediately reaches for the aux cord .
“um,” you pause, “what are you doing?”
“blessing you with my awesome music taste? what do you think i’m doing?”
“absolutely not,” you say, “my car, my rules.”
“um, no. the ‘rule’ is that the passenger chooses the playlist while the driver sets up the queue. we’ve been over this.”
“okay but,” you start carefully, “that was when we were together.”
silence.
“so do you want the ‘late night drives’ playlist or the ‘oldies but goodies’ playlist?”
“what?”
“you heard me.”
she brushes over your comment painfully fast. you had no idea why. you refuse to leave it at that.
“can you just put on our playlist?”
more silence. you gotta be kidding me.
“i don’t-“
“don’t even try, paige, i know you still have it.”
“but-“
“don’t fight me on this. all i want is to celebrate with my team and get a drink so can you please hurry up so we can go?”
“shit,” you hear her say under her breath, “yeah.” she pushes her hips forward as she gets comfortable in the seat.
your eyebrows furrow at the reaction. this girl is so fucking complicated. you weren’t sure if you wanted to curse her out or take her right there.
———
“y/n!! you made it!” jada squeals as you walk into the bar, “and…paige? wait. are you two back together??”
“hell no.”
“definitely not.”
you and paige turn to each other.
“oookayy..” jada trails as she pulls you away from the blonde in the direction of where your team was sat.
the girls cheer your name as you take a seat next to caitlin. you can tell they’ve already had at least 2 drinks each.
“hey,” caitlin says with a warm smile, “you got some catching up to do. let’s go get you a drink.”
she ushers you to the bar where you are able to sit and observe the environment. the venue is fairly dark, the ceiling lights dimmed to a warm hue with a few candles on each table. the stools at the bar were a cold metal that gave you goosebumps. all the table booths have dark brown leather couches one side and wooden chairs with intricate designs on the other.
“so,” caitlin starts after she’s ordered you a drink, lord knows what it was, “i saw you and paige walk in together. that mean anything?”
“please,” you scoff, “i’m done with her, cait, like seriously.” she stays silent, waiting for you to continue, “i mean, she’s so annoying and cocky and confusing, it’s exhausting - i hate her.”
“you sure about that?”
“yes.”
“then why do you still put up with her?”
“what do you mean?”
“i mean,” she says as the bartender delivers two of the same drink, one for you and one presumably for caitlin, “just stop talking to her. ignore her.”
you pause to think. “but she’s always the one starting these dumbass petty fights.”
“then don’t answer her?”
“i have to.”
“and why is that?” she eggs you on, sipping on her drink.
“because,” you sigh, “i can’t let her win.”
“or,” caitlin smirks as the two of you get up to head back to your table, “you still like being around her.”
“as if.”
“okay. tell me this then - why do you two still smile at each other like nothing has changed?”
“we almost never see them, cait.”
“no, i know but…i saw the way you looked at her today. and i saw the way you looked at her when we played them in sophomore year. you still like her, y/n.”
you two have returned to your seats with the rest of the team. you find yourself looking for a particular blonde (again) across the room. the uconn girls were sitting at a similar table to the one you were currently at, just on the other side of the bar.
to your relief, caitlin drops the conversation to engage in one with kate about the game. you quietly sip on your drink as you continue to stare at paige. she’s smiling - laughing - with azzi and aaliyah. you missed them. you missed her. you didn’t acknowledge it until now, until caitlin knocked some sense into you. you did enjoy being around her, mainly because it reminded you of how it was before you transferred to iowa. even though your conversations consist of constant jabs and insults, it was better than radio silence.
but you also hated it. you hated how you couldn’t be with her like you used to. you hated how you left. you hated how she treated you when you left. you hated how she acted like nothing happened. that’s why you have to win every time you’re up against her - literally and figuratively.
paige scored 4 three-pointers in a game? you score 5. paige got 6 rebounds? you got 7. paige had 8 assists? you had 9. it wasn’t just for yourself, it was for the media. with how they constantly have a magnifying glass on your life, you can’t jeopardize your career. so you have to be better than her.
your jaw clenches at the thought of the pressure, the expectation. you down the rest of your way too light cocktail and make your way back to the bar for a stronger drink.
“hey,” you say to the bartender, “can i get a sex on the beach, please?” he nods with a polite smile as he walks away to make your order.
“still rockin with those?” you hear an all-too-familiar voice say.
“if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” you mutter, not bothering to turn to her.
she scoffs. what is her problem now? you think.
“you’re so damn predictable,” she laughs, “it’s hilarious.”
“at least i’m reliable,” you retort, “when’s the last time you had any stability in your life?”
“when i was with you,” she says immediately.
that makes you turn your head. you are greeted with paige’s cold eyes and an unreadable expression.
“what are you doing, paige? what are we doing?” you sound exhausted.
“you tell me. i never got a good explanation when you…left.”
“i tried. you wouldn’t let me. didn’t think you wanted to hear from me after our last conversation.”
“don’t pin this on me,” she says pointedly, “you left me.”
“i didn’t have a choice, paige, you have to understand that.”
“but did you have to leave me? you know we could’ve worked it out.”
“could we have?”
she sighs. the conversation has elevated quickly. you didn’t expect her to open up like this now, to bring all of this up now. maybe it was the ambient atmosphere or the influential alcohol, or both. the man behind the bar sets your drink down on a small napkin in front of you, but you decide against going back to your table.
“so…” she says quietly, “have you been seeing anyone? i know how the fans like to twist shit, but is any of it true?”
“wouldn’t you like to know,” you laugh.
“hey, i’m just tryna gauge where you’re at right now. scope out the competition, you know how it is.”
“‘scope out the competition’?”
she shrugs.
“have you been seeing anyone?” “have you heard that i’m seeing anyone?”
god, this girl could not give a simple answer to save her life. but two can play that game.
“maybe i have. maybe i haven’t. and maybe i’ve seen you with a certain husky named azzi?” you have no clue where you got this idea knowing damn well that they’re nothing more than friends.
“and what if i am? you jealous, ma?” they’re nothing more than friends…right?
“hilarious.”
“that’s not a no.”
“no, it’s not..” you mumble under your breath, turning away from her to avoid her burning stare.
“good.” what the hell is this girl getting at? her avoidant yet suggestive responses set something off in you. “you never answered my question.”
“i am with someone,” you lie through your teeth, wanting to get a reaction out of her.
her breath hitches, “who?” her tone is targeted with a hint of…anger?
“why do you care? you’re with azzi right?”
“i never said that.”
“but you didn’t deny it,” you point out, using her own tactics.
“i am now. i’m not with her. so who are you with?”
“i don’t need to tell you anything.”
“so you’re not with anyone?” she laughs. this girl.
“i am.”
“then tell me.”
“no.”
“fine. be like that,” and suddenly she’s pulling you up from the barstool and into a poorly-lit hallway.
“where are we going?” you demand as you two turn a corner, the only light is the distant hue from the main part of the bar.
“we need to talk about this.”
“talk about what?”
“this,” she motions between the two of you as she pushes you against a wall, one strong arm preventing you from leaving.
“there’s nothing to talk about.”
“i’m not gonna let you keep dodging this, y/n. you left me to go to whole different state with no explanation whatsoever.”
“because you ghosted me first! what was i supposed to do?”
“we were supposed to work it out. remember? when we were teammates on and off the court?”
“you shut me out.”
“because, y/n,” she sighs deeply, “i knew i couldn’t handle it if i had to say goodbye to you. i would’ve-“ she stops herself.
“you would’ve what?”
after about 10 seconds of silence, she whispers, “i would’ve begged you not to go - not to leave me.”
your eyes shoot to hers, but she’s looking down at the floor. her head is almost resting against yours as you observe her adamant yet vulnerable state. you’ve never seen her like this.
from what you’ve seen online, paige seemed to have the time of her life after you transferred. you assumed that she moved on so easily, so quickly. you didn’t consider that it was all just a front.
“paige,”
“what?” she barely gets out, still avoiding your eyes.
“look at me,” she doesn’t, “please.”
her head flies up at that, “what?” she repeats.
you don’t know what to say, you just needed to see her - really see her. her eyes are filled with such clear emotion yet you can’t put your finger on what she was feeling. from her body language you can tell that she misses you. and as you realize you subconsciously put your own hand on her waist, you body is telling you that you miss her too. 
you contemplate your next move for a second, questioning if all of this is worth it. but she’s worth it. in the time you’ve spent apart from her, you grew and matured. you also realize that you need her like you need oxygen. you come to the conclusion that you always have, but it took distance and space to accept it.
not wanting to get too in your head, you smash your lips onto hers as your shoulders instantly relax. you feel paige pause but eventually melt into the kiss, moving her hands up to the nape of your neck. you bring your other hand up to her wrist, resting it there as you relish in the feeling of her lips finally against yours after almost two years. you guide her hand down to your thigh as you move to grasp her shoulders. she glides over your upper thing, riding up your lilac skirt.
she breaks the kiss for a moment, “i’ve always loved you in purple.”
before she can resume the heated kiss, you push against her and observe your surroundings. to your left is the open area you just came from, all your friends oblivious to your activities. all the way down to your right is a door leading out to the back lot and a closer door - presumably a supply closet.
you weigh out your options: do you want to stop the interaction completely, drag her into your car all the way outside, or simply shove her into the closet and have your way with her?
smirking up at her, you pull her into the closet as she laughs at your desperation but follows you nonetheless. 
yes, there were still broken pieces in your relationship. yes, you have always claimed to hate each other. but no, you weren’t leaving without her, even if you had to use handcuffs.
she was never not yours, and you were never not hers.
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darknight3904 · 7 months
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Better Than Revenge
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𝕊𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: ɪɴ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴɪɴɢ ᴏꜰ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ.
𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: ᴄᴏʀʏᴏ ɪꜱ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴀ ʙᴏᴏʙ ᴍᴀɴ, ᴏʟᴅ ʜᴀʙɪᴛꜱ ᴅɪᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅ ɪ ɢᴜᴇꜱꜱ. ᴄᴏʀɪᴏʟᴀɴᴜꜱ ʙʀᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀꜱʟɪɢʜᴛɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴀᴛᴇᴋᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ꜱᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ꜱᴀɪᴅ ᴏᴋᴀʏ ɪ'ʟʟ ʙʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ʙᴏꜱꜱ.
ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ / ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ / ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ.
ʙᴀꜱᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢꜱ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ ʙʏ ᴛᴀʏʟᴏʀ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴇᴛ ʜɪᴍ ʙᴀᴄᴋ! ʙʏ ᴏʟɪᴠɪᴀ ʀᴏᴅʀɪɢᴏ
Coriolanus was sure he was dreaming. There was no way you had actually shown up to this. But sure enough, there you were shaking hands and accepting hugs from stuffy old Capitol residents like you were their long-lost daughter. He had been trying to get in contact with you for so long now and it had been nothing but silence and being turned away from your family home. The only current information he had on you was that you were skipping university entirely and taking over your mother's position as head of technical operations for the games. Initially, he had thought that meant he might see you during his work with Gaul but you never showed, clearly, you had been stationed elsewhere.
His time in District 12 and whatever had happened between him and Lucy had cleared his head. He had come back with his goals set in his mind and was determined not to fall victim to another girl's spell just because she had a pretty voice. And yet, as he stood across the room from you, he knew that you were going to be trouble for him. What was it you had broken up with him about? He could scarcely remember, that dress you donned tonight was so distracting with its plunging neckline and shimmering fabric, it should be illegal to look that good.
He felt his throat dry up when you began walking towards him. Why were you coming to greet him? Oh right, this was a party about him and his success with his new ideas that would be used in the games in just a matter of weeks.
"Coryo! It's been a while." You beam reaching out to shake his hand
"Yes, it has. I didn't know you would be attending tonight." He said stiffly, feeling your eyes roam across his chosen suit for the evening. Suddenly, he found himself hoping you liked what you saw.
"Well, I'm sure you know I've taken over my mother's company so of course someone would have to come to represent it." You smile
Oh right. That. The soft clicks of cameras went off from somewhere, these photos between Gaul's prodigy and the girl, no woman, who was working to make sure the games would be seen from every angle would surely be published by a news outlet before the evening was over
"Your dress is exquisite." He compliments, trying to ignore the way your chest was taunting him.
"Thank you. I see you're still wearing roses on your lapel, some things don't change do they?" You say, following his stare to your chest.
Busted. You knew he was ogling you.
Coriolanus wanted to move this conversation and brush past the fact that he wanted to tear that damn dress off but he wasn't entirely sure how to reply to a statement like that. Unfortunately, he never got the chance to figure it out since an unwanted interruption cut in.
"I got you that drink you wanted, hon." A man cut in wrapping a meaty arm around your waist
Okay, who the hell was this?
"Oh thank you, I'm so thirsty." You smile and accept the dainty glass.
"Oh Coryo, this is Aesop." You introduce them, "Aesop, this is Cor-"
"Wow, Mr. Snow, I never thought I'd get to meet you! Your work with Dr. Gaul is rumored to be historic." Aesop gushes, cutting you off like he's some desperate fanboy.
Coriolanus finds himself nodding and pretending like Aesop's words mean a lot to him. Instead, Coriolanus lets him vomit his praises while he takes in the newest man who you deem worthy of your affections. He wasn't necessarily bad-looking, with a strong-looking build accompanied by sharp features and dark curly hair, Coriolanus wouldn't dare call him unattractive, in the face at least. Aesop's choice of outfit for tonight though told a different story. It was rather plain, just a simple black suit and a dark blue pocket square to try to add some color while attempting to match your dress which was simply hypnotic compared to that monstrosity of a suit.
"So what's next?"
Aesop was still talking to him? Someone needs to tell him when to stop talking.
"I'm sorry could you repeat your question I wasn't listening." He says honestly
"I was just asking what you had planned for your future. Surely the great Mr. Snow I hear about from my mother isn't just going to stop at being a game maker." Aesop says, clearly curious about those rumors about his possible presidential campaign.
Coriolanus doesn't miss the way his arm, which was once wrapped around your waist, drop so it rested on your hips and his hand was dangerously close to your ass. What a pig. He wishes he could be the one doing that, not the Capitol's worst-dressed man who didn't seem to even be worthy of being here let alone have you on his arm.
"I guess you'll just have to wait and see. After all, Snow lands on top." He smirks and Aesop nods.
Aesop doesn't have much to say after that and Coriolanus makes no move to continue the conversation so an awkward silence falls over the conversation. The soft notes of the piano interrupt Coriolanus' judging of Aesop's outfit and he finds himself asking before he can discern whether or not this is a good idea.
"Would you like to dance? For old time's sake."
He doesn't expect you to say yes but you surprise him by placing your drink in Aesop's hands and pressing a kiss to the poorly dressed man's cheek. He doesn't miss the way you whisper something in Aesop's ear before taking his hand so he can lead you to the dance floor.
"I like your new hair. The curls were very nice but this new style makes you look very sophisticated." You say as he leads the dance
"What the hell are you doing?" He asks, genuinely curious as to what game you're playing
"Um, what are you talking about?" You ask a genuine look of surprise on your pretty face.
"You come in here dressed like this, with that....thing hanging off your arm, and you act like nothing is wrong between us and compliment me." He spits, upset that he seems to have been replaced so easily.
"What are you going on about now? You can't mean the breakup you caused, right?" You ask, a smug grin on your face
"I didn't break up with anyone." He defended, his face twisting with anger.
"Did Lucy Gray hit you in the head when you were with her? You seem a bit confused as to who ended our relationship." You say
Did you know what happened in the forest between them? Did you know that he nearly ran off with her and how she disappeared into the trees before he could get her? No, you couldn't possibly, there were no other witnesses other than him and Lucy. Unless that damn Covey of her was spreading rumors. He'd have to look into them soon.
"No, she has nothing to do with this. Where we are now is all on you." He says, stopping the dance, upset that you'd even think of mentioning her. Honestly, why would you even think that he was entangled with her, he was sure you heard the rumors of how they fell out.
"You're joking right. I still have that video evidence of you two kissing if you want to come back to mine and rewatch it, you clearly are not remembering correctly. I don't have any issues reminding you how you hurt me. " You say dropping his hand
"I remember just fine, thank you. I remember perfectly that you're the one who caused our end after you went crazy over something that wasn't even real." He said, upset that you weren't accepting what he was saying.
His eyes widen when you step towards him. You're so close he can smell that fruit-smelling perfume you love so much. From across the room, it might look like two old friends whispering funny secrets to each other.
"If it wasn't real then why did you chase her? I know about your little bribe that got you sent to twelve instead of eight. You can't manipulate me the way you do everyone else, Coryo."
And then you're walking away from him and back into the arms of that Aesop and his ugly fashion decisions. He could barely believe what had just transpired. He hadn't ever had a girl that walked away from him like that, he had thought he had become irresistible to so many, and yet here you were leaving him on the dance floor after insulting him.
Coriolanus certainly had a lot of nerve, you'd give him that. Not only was he completely deluded about what had happened between the two of you but he clearly couldn't accept you moving on from him. Of course, you knew he'd be like this. It had been only a week or so after Dr. Gaul had brought him back from District 12 that he started showing up at your family home, asking your mother, father, and even the maids if you would see him. You had instructed them all to turn him away and yet every time he showed up you'd wait and watch as he walked away, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
You had been right, your Coryo would come running back. You knew that Songbird of his would turn on him eventually. Rumors swirled around the inner circles of the Capitol that she had disappeared or perhaps she was dead. Despite the rumors that came in hushed whispers, you had a gut feeling Coriolanus had something to do with it. Did he scare the poor bird off? Or maybe harm her so she'd never return to Panem? Either way, no one had a clear story on her, but all you knew was that her dulcet voice would never charm Coriolanus again. With Lucy Gray gone, you knew exactly what you wanted, you were going to get Coriolanus Snow back.
Getting him back meaning revenge, of course. Why would any sane person want to get him back romantically?
You started with small things, things you knew would deepen his interest in you again. Some days you deliberately made sure you were in Dr. Gaul's lab talking to the crazy woman when he showed up after his university had ended for the day.
"When did you start working here?" He asks when he sees you in the lab for the first time
"Oh, Dr. Gaul and I are busy coordinating the camera angles and such. It's easier just to work here with her rather than send assistants from my office with information. More direct, you know."
He nods and takes his place at his own desk but you don't miss how he smiles to himself, undoubtedly happy you're here with him.
What a fool he's turned out to be.
Other times you'd make sure to wear red, the same shade as the coat he seemed to love so dearly, and then bump into him as he walked through the Department of War.
"You ought to look where you're walking." He says, after practically body slamming into him.
The force hadn't been enough to move him but you had ended up on the cold ground on your ass. What the hell did they feed him in District 12? A brick wall? No man should be that sturdy.
"Right, sorry about that." You smile taking his hand and letting him pull you to your feet
You feel Coriolanus' eyes roam your outfit choice. A white button down paired with a deep red pencil skirt and tall heels, you must've looked good because he didn't say much and let you do the talking as you walked to Gaul's lab together, not letting go of his hand.
The cherry on top though, had to be the day you wore a low-cut shirt to a meeting about this year's games. You knew what made that boy tick and sure enough, his eyes were locked on your chest for the entire presentation on the new audio systems you were planning to get installed in the arena. He really hasn't changed much, has he?
"What are you doing after this?" He whispered next to you as Gaul displayed photos of whatever new terrors she had planned for this year's Tributes.
"Nothing interesting. I was planning on eating dinner and then perhaps taking a long bath." You say honestly
"Want to eat dinner with me?" He asked, a grin spread across his face
There was that boyish charm that had convinced you to enter a relationship in the first place.
"Sure. As long as you aren't the one cooking." You smile, knowing he was the worst chef in all of Panem.
Coriolanus stifles a laugh, which he tries to disguise as a cough when Dr. Gaul looks at him mid-sentence about the reproductive organs of whatever mutt she had drummed up.
"Oh trust me, I won't be. There's a nice place a couple of blocks away." He says
"It's a date." You smile
Coriolanus wasn't lying when he said the restaurant was nice. Pretty white tablecloths adorned the tables along with candles and delicate-looking roses atop each of them. A huge crystal chandelier was the real eye-catcher though, you loved the way it glimmered in the light.
"You know I was joking when I said this was a date, Coryo." You say as you wait for the hostess to help the man in front of you.
"Why? I'd love to go on another date with you." He smiles, bumping his shoulder with yours
"Right because our last stab at a relationship went so well." You roll your eyes
"I personally think we worked well together." He said confidently
"You're joking, right? You literally called me insane." You remind him
"Look, I don't want to fight. Let's just have a nice meal, okay?" He says, not denying his actions for once
"Yeah, okay." You agree, not missing the way his eyes roll.
The hostess is a bit overly eager to seat you both, she gushes over Coriolanus' coat and how sharp it makes him look, taking special care to not even spare a glance at you. Despite your annoyance, you don't miss how Coriolanus eats the attention up and flirts right back despite just proclaiming how he wants to go on another date with you. Honestly, where does this man even get the nerve?
"So what's good here?" You ask when she finally leaves but not until after she complimented his eyes and hair.
"You haven't been here? I come here often, the chicken dish they serve is particularly wonderful." He says, pretending like he wasn't interested in her.
"No, I haven't been here. Some of us work instead of spending their money on fancy chicken." You roll your eyes at his posh tone.
"Alright, sorry. Don't get all crazy on me again." He huffs, hiding his face behind his menu, pretending to stare at it when it only had 3 options on it.
Silence settles over the table as you pretend to weigh your options like you aren't going to take his recommendation and get the chicken. As you sit there and pretend to look at your menu, you glance at him and his perfect hair. His face is just as you remember it although it was a tad bit more stern than it was before he was sent to District 12. Whatever Lucy Gray did to him had sent him spiraling that was certain. A portly-looking man comes up to your table and pours you both glasses of wine before opening his mouth to speak.
"Mr. Snow, I am the manager of this restaurant and I'd like to personally extend a warm welcome to you and your guest tonight. If there's anything you need, please ask. You as well, ma'am."
You smile politely and nod as Coriolanus thanks the man and shakes his hand.
"You know this could be your life all the time if you wanted to give the two of us a try again." He says after dismissing the manager.
"What do you mean?" You ask confused, he already knew you had money of your own, definitely enough to attend a restaurant like this, it just wasn't your personal style.
"You'd never have to work again with me at your side. I'm sure you've heard that I'm planning to run for the presidency soon. I'm the favored candidate as well." He says confidently, reaching out so that your hands are linked across the table
"What makes you think that I would want to never work again. I enjoy running my company. It's my mother's blood sweat and tears that went into it." You defend, watching how his thumbs run over the backs of your hands. To anyone else, this might look like a romantic conversation between lovers
"I'm just saying you could be the First Lady of Panem one day with me and you'd never want for anything else. All you'd ever have to do is sit by my side." He smiles, almost kindly at you
"So you want to lock me up in some big house somewhere, just for yourself." You say, seeing through his honey-coated words
"If you're not interested then why the hell did you even accept my invitation to come here? Why have you been popping into Gaul's lab when I'm there, and don't think I haven't noticed that low-cut shirt of yours. Are you into parading yourself around like a common whore for everyone else to see? What would Aesop think?" He suddenly snaps, harshly grabbing onto your hands and squeezing.
There he was, the man of the hour. This is who Coriolanus Snow truly was, not whatever charming front he liked to wear around so many, including you. You smiled, that front, the wall he had built oh so perfectly, brick by brick had crumbled and the snake had finally come out to play.
"You think I'm a whore? How sweet of you, Coryo. You should know I love pet names in a relationship, that's why Aesop calls me hon." You say not blinking an eye as his nails dig into your skin.
You can tell your reaction isn't what he had planned because he recoils slightly and the pressure in your hands drops just a bit.
"If you weren't interested in me then why have you been acting like...some love-struck teen the past few weeks? Why the... eye-catching shirt today for a business meeting? You knew I was still interested in you so why are you rejecting me now?" He asks, clearly genuinely upset and curious
"Oh come on, Coryo I thought it would be obvious." You smirk
"Well, it isn't. And, you should know I hate lies now , so how about we agree to not lie to each other." He says, in desperate need of your answer.
You nod, and he releases your hands, satisfied with your submission
"Coryo, the reason I did all those things is quite obvious in fact, I'm sure that even little Lucy Gray would've been able to tell the reasons behind my actions."
You want to laugh at the way he squirms in his fancy chair when her name falls from your lips. While you once viewed her as some little homewrecker, you now saw her as an ally. The perfect ally to shatter this man's fragile ego. Whatever she had done to him, she got him good. Now, all you had to do was finish the job.
"You see, Coriolanus, I'm honestly surprised you didn't realize sooner, given you're so good at it yourself, by the way, don't think I don't know what really happened to Dean Highbottom or Sejanus Plinth. I know what you are, Coryo. Your sweet seductive words and pretty face can only get you so far." You let a smile stretch across your face, you were truly enjoying the climax of this game, "The reason behind my actions and my pretty shirt that you've been staring down all day and enjoying is simple really, it's just a little revenge. Revenge for how you made me feel when you went running off with Lucy Gray. It's revenge for whatever you may or may not have done to her in the forest of District 12. It's as plain and as simple as just a girl getting revenge on a past lover."
You stand from your seat and watch Coriolanus' eyes widen he finally realizes that you had been stringing him on for weeks ever since that party. You want to laugh at the way his hands had balled up into fists and his face reddened. Perhaps he'd start crying. Now that would be funny.
"Why?" He asks, unwilling to meet your eyes
"Why? Because it was fun of course. I've got my sweet revenge on a man who thought he was oh-so untouchable and you're feeling what I felt when you ran off with your Songbird. .I hope you have a wonderful evening, Coriolanus, " You explain smoothly, leaning down so your lips brush his ear, "See you in the lab tomorrow. I'll make sure to wear a shirt you'll like. "
You turn and gather your own belongings, a wide smile stretched across your face as you left him at that table. That shaken look that adorned Coriolanus' pretty face made one thing clear: you had got him back for every inch of pain he had ever caused you and Lucy Gray Baird. As you walked out of the door of that fancy restaurant he loved so much, one thought rang clear in your head, there truly was nothing better than revenge.
Part 3
Guys imagine being Coryo in this fic. First, you get dumped by your gf bc of your situationship. Then your situationship falls apart and you think you might be able to get back with your ex. So, you return home and think your ex wants you again since they're sending out signals, only to find out they've been leading you on for funsies. He's going through it.
Read the teaser for it here
If you want more Coryo content check out my masterlist. I plan to possibly release It Burns For You Part 3 on either December 3rd or 4th so stay tuned!
Taglist:
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@superchatnoir07 @readz4u @darktrashsoulbear @prettyinsatiable
@angeljcca @katherines-imagines @coryoskywalker @jackchampionwhore @lauriesluver @loveangela1556
@sainzlover @snapcracklen @juliesjar @alexameliamg
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@junefoster @miglielia @cosmicgyral @jenniquinn @enkimorphe
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1K notes · View notes
cryptidghostgirl · 4 months
Note
Can I request a part 3 to "unrequited"?
A/N I honestly was not planning another part to this story. I'm just gonna... leave this here. (Pls don't hate me guys. This is so genuinely the only path I could think of for this story that I liked.)
Unrequited pt. 3 (Alastor x Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: Um. Alastor is dark/yandere in this part. Uh. Unhealthy relationship. Yeah.
Word Count: 2,094
Previous Parts:
Unrequited (Alastor x Reader)
Unrequited Pt. 2
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List
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Alastor had cornered her in the hall. The years, the games, the challenges, none of it was fun anymore. It all came to an end tonight. There was no other option, not when she could die tomorrow. The angels were coming, and they were coming for the hotel.
"I don't want you here tomorrow."
"What!?" Y/n exclaimed in utter shock.
She hadn't known what to expect when Alastor had stopped her as she made her way downstairs to the bar. Everyone was supposed to be having a drink together, celebrating their afterlives that there was a chance they might loose. She didn't know what to expect but, she certainly hadn't expected this.
Alastor had been acting weird lately. He was always weird but ever since the day with Husk in the hallway, he'd been weird even by those standards. He was always finding something for Y/n to do that put her near him, always watching. It was irritating. They had been fighting a lot and Alastor still had yet to apologize to Husk.
"I don't want you at the hotel tomorrow. You are not coming near this fight."
"What the fuck, Alastor?" Y/n nearly stamped her foot on the floor, she crossed her arms and glared at the demon, "I... these are my friends. This is my home. I will do what I can to protect it."
"No, you wont. You wont be here." he paused, "I will use our little deal to make sure of that, if need be."
Y/n scoffed. Her anger was a fiery, radiant thing. Alastor found himself thinking she had always reminded him quite a bit of a lioness when she got like this. The thought had been an accident, he couldn't afford to be distracted. Not when these were the stakes. Alastor pushed it away.
"You fucking... literally why? Like, what? I... sorry, just taking me a bit to process this: the demon who tricked me into selling my soul to them is now going to use that contract to take me, a valuable asset, out of a war which we cannot afford to loose?"
"Yes." Alastor nodded.
"Because?" Y/n prompted in irritation after a moment.
Alastor sighed.
"Y/n, think about what could happen if you are here."
"The same thing that could happen to any one here!" Y/n threw her arms up in exasperation, gesticulating her frustration as she spoke, "The same thing you're forcing on Husk and Nifty, have you had this chat with either of them?"
Alastor didn't respond. It was all the answer she needed.
"Yeah, I didn't fucking think so!" she scoffed, "So it's okay for everyone to risk their lives -- it's okay for you to risk your life even, but not me? Its okay for you to force my friends to risk their lives, but you're going to force me to stay out of it? Listen to yourself, you sound ridiculous."
"We don't need your help. You're slow, you will only hold us back."
The comment he had hope would dampen Y/n's spirit, bend her will into submission, only added to her fire.
"I'm... that's bullshit and we both know it. I might be small, but so is Nifty. Everyone has skills they can offer. I know how to fight, how to survive, and we will have angelic weapons for Christ's sake. Like, I really don't understand what the issue your having is here."
"Y/n, just... no." Alastor shook his head, a hand to his temples, "No. You will not be here tomorrow. I forbid it. I'm sending you to stay with Rosie."
"What am I, your kid?" Y/n sneered.
Alastor looked over at her, his hand falling from his forehead.
"Just please, Y/n." he took a step forward, pulling her hands into his. Alastor took a deep breath. "For me."
Y/n's eyes went wide. Alastor could see the conflict, the swirling emotions. Anger turned to grief, mixed with gratitude, and became anger again. A never ending cycle.
His heart pounded against his chest, it fought him valiantly for release. It had been so long. So long since she'd looked at him with anything other than disgust, so long since she had let him touch her like this.
Y/n settled on confusion as her dominant emotion and pulled her hands from his grasp. Alastor mourned the contact, his hands still held up in the air where hers had met them as Y/n took a step away.
"Why."
It wasn't a question. Y/n commanded information and at the end of the day, he may own her soul but she owned his heart. Alastor felt like in some way, she always had. He couldn't bear the thought of loosing her but, he didn't know if he could handle the rejection either. There was no way, no chance, she would believe him if he told her too much of the truth but, lying wouldn't work either. It would have to be a careful balance, a calculated withholding of information. Too much was riding on tomorrow, on tonight, on this very moment.
"Because I don't want you to die."
Y/n's brow furrowed even further, their eyes growing wider still as she stumbled another step back. Her back was nearly against the wall now, there wasn't anywhere else she could go.
Her eyes flitted around the space fervently. Her lips formed words that never left her mouth. Alastor watched, stress eating him alive. At last, Y/n did something. She brought her hands to her head and sunk to the floor, her knees pulled into her chest.
"What are you doing to me." she muttered softly, just barely loud enough for him to hear.
For what felt like the thousandth time, Alastor felt a little piece of his heart fracture off. He didn't know how much more he could take of this before there was nothing left to break, nothing left to loose. She looked up at him, her hands still holding either side of her head and her eyes wet with tears.
"Why do you care?"
Alastor's breath caught in his throat. There was an insistence in her voice, a pleading. He stood in indecision for a moment, frozen by want, by need, by fear. His body took over as he took a step towards Y/n. Alastor kneeled down in front of her.
With great care, with a familiarity and gentleness Y/n hadn't felt from him in years, Alastor untangled her fingers from her hair. He held her hands in his once again and this time, he wasn't going to let go.
"Because I care about you."
Shock at his own bravery emanated from his chest. Alastor held his breath.
"You..." Y/n's eyes hardened, "I wish you'd stop messing with my head like this. Its not funny."
"Y/n, I'm not messing. I am not playing a game, I'm not..." Alastor sighed, letting go of one of Y/n's hands and running his hand through his hair as he looked to the side.
Taking a deep breath, he turned back to face her, grabbing her free hand once again.
"I don't know what I can do to prove it to you, that I'm not. But I will keep you safe. No matter what, you will not be here tomorrow."
"Please, Alastor."
His heart stopped. He couldn't recall the last time she'd asked him for anything that wasn't to leave her, Husk, and Nifty, alone. He couldn't recall the last time she'd seemed to fragile in his arms.
"Please, they're... they're my family. I can't..." a single tear rolled down Y/n's cheek, "I can't just leave them."
"I..."
There was a moment, a split second where he almost agreed. Alastor's eyes narrowed. He dropped Y/n's hands and got back to his feet. She adjusted her position in response, nearly kneeling before him.
"Please, Alastor. Let me help them. Let me do what I can to protect my family. Please. I'll do anything you want... I'll..."
It almost worked. Alastor felt his purpose waver again. Then the fear came back. He had already lost so much. His mother, his humanity, his own soul and free will. Alastor refused to add Y/n to the list of things that were so far out of his reach. He just couldn't. He didn't care if she hated him for the rest of eternity, as long as it meant she was safe at his side.
"No." he shook his head, his heart hardening, "You forget, you already have to do whatever I want. You forget, I own you."
Y/n's scream of anger as the shadows took her was muffled as she was sucked into their portal. Alastor stood, watching the spot she had been in for a few moments and then, he doubled over in pain. It shot through him in spikes, in daggers. It was the first time he had told her that. Not once before had Alastor ever said those three words to Y/n, not even when they had first made their deal. I own you.
The guilt, the regret, all of it underpinned by the overwhelming love. It had been trapped for so long, so sheltered and pushed back in the recesses of his mind that it had twisted. The love had become obsessive, dangerous, hungry.
With a breath, Alastor stood straight once again. Pushing his composure back to the surface, he smoothed his hair and went down to the bar to inform everyone of his decision. He may have forced Y/n to do something she didn't want to, fracturing things further than he'd believed possible, but he wasn't going to blame her for it. Alastor was used to being the villain and hopefully, in this case, he wouldn't have to be. Hopefully, they would understand.
Y/n gasped for breath as she was let out of the shadow portal. Panting on all fours, slowly she brought herself back together. Y/n had met Rosie before, once or twice. She knew she was a kind soul at heart, a reasonable person, and she knew that Rosie's cannibals were the main force of their army tomorrow. All she had to do was convince the overlord to let her join them, and it would be okay.
Taking a deep breath to restore her confidence, Y/n looked up. Her heart dropped.
"No."
She got to her feet, looking carefully around the decrepit old radio tower.
"No. Nonono."
Her breaths becoming panicked, she ran to the door. It was locked. Taking a step back, she kicked it harshly. The firm wood didn't budge.
Driven by adrenaline alone, Y/n ran to the windows and began to hit them with all her might. None of them so much as trembled.
"No!"
She looked wildly around the space and, spotting Alastor's chair, picked it up. Y/n hurled it at the window. There was a crash and for a split second, there was hope. That was until she realized it was the chair that had broken, not the window.
"No! No!"
Turning back to the door, she hurled her body repeatedly against it. Each time, she got the biggest running start she could. Each time, there was no change at all, nothing happened. Fresh tears pooled in her eyes, she was long past panicked now.
"NO!"
After about twenty minutes, Y/n was out of breath and exhausted. Her whole body hurt and her face was sticky with tears. She sat at the door, her back pressed against it and her knees pulled into her chest. Burying her face in her legs, she sobbed.
Everyone was at the hotel, except for her. Everyone was preparing to fight for and protect what they loved, except for her. What would they think? What would they say? Much more importantly, would they make it out?
A sudden fear gripped her, a fist around her heart. Would she ever see any of them again? Y/n's sobs redoubled.
"Fucking..."
She sniffed, her panic and grief quickly fixing itself back in the shape of the familiar anger. She could see him in her minds eye, that moment his eyes had softened, that moment she thought that maybe he had been telling the truth all along, that they really had been friends, that he really did care.
"I hate you Alastor!" she screamed to herself, alone in the dark, "I hate you and I will continue to hate you until the day I fucking die again!"
----
A/N I love an irredeemable villain and doomed, misshapen love. I'm sorry to anyone who wanted this to end up happy.
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Danced With You Once Upon A Dream 🌠
Headcannons of Genshin boys seeing you in a ball gown and asking you to dance.
Ft: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Childe, Thoma, Ayato, and Alhaitham
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Tags: Fem!Reader, crushes everywhere, jealousy, fluff, PG, GOOD VIBES ONLY, i chose a lot of smug men please spare me, no beta we die like men Notes: I JUST REALLY WANTED TO MATCH PRETTY BOYS TO PRETTY DRESSES! SUE ME! (Another repost!)
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Diluc
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Diluc is a known hermit. After his father's death, it was a rare sight to see him at any large social event. He preferred to keep it that way, but tonight's banquet is an exception. The masked vigilante accepted the invitation for an opportunity to eavesdrop on a fatui officer in attendance. Unfortunately, his person of interest appeared to be a complete no-show. The whole night was already a total bust.
Perhaps if he left right then, he could still do a patrol around Mondstadt before dawn. It was the enjoyable option compared to being approached again by another person seeking his attention. Idle chit-chat was never something he enjoyed much anyway and he was in no mood to talk business.   
Diluc contemplated his exit strategy that would avoid being stopped by anyone. An eruption of chatter drew everyone's attention to the main doors. There was a late arrival being announced. It was nice timing, he would just need to slip out during the commotion. How odd for one guest to kick up this much of a fuss... Diluc's curious gaze followed up to the large entry doors and inevitably fixated onto the beautiful figure, onto you. 
His plans to leave vanished with each step you descended down the grand staircase. Your flowing dress moved in such an entrancing way that he could swear you plucked it straight out of fairy tale. Diluc has been so busy with the winery and his investigations... he couldn’t remember the last time he had talked to you. Perhaps he should stay a little longer, if only just to catch up at least.
The red haired man was utterly enchanted by your movements. It explained why he was drawn in like a magnet, moving as if under your spell. He strode smoothly through the crowd to meet you at the foot of the stairs. His hand extended to guide you down the last couple steps, down to earth, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. When you finally glance up from your hands to meet Diluc's gaze, adoration is already clear across his features.
"Y/N" He greeted you, bowing to place a small peck on the back of your hand. "Its lovely to see you tonight." Diluc spoke slow and earnestly, as if channeling every ounce of his princely charm into that sentiment. You felt like butter melting into his warmth, becoming pliant in his hands. “May I?” Diluc gestured forward, asking if he could accompany you in. 
The presence of the elusive owner of Dawn Winery did little to quell the whispers and eyes on you. Now awoken from your dreamy haze, you became aware of just how much attention you've managed to garner. You looked yourself over. Had there been a stain that you missed? Were you not on theme? How embarrassing... Your panic was interrupted by Diluc's fond chuckle. It almost annoyed you how amused he seemed by your antics.
“There’s no need to worry. They’re staring because they can't bare to look away. You are simply captivating.” Diluc stated as if it were an obvious fact. “If you are still feeling nervous, how about a dance to get your mind off it?” 
Kaeya
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Kaeya spent most of the ball like a fly on the wall, listening in on conversations here and there. To his dismay, there was nothing interesting happening tonight. The juciest thing he managed so far were the two Fatui delegates discussing their distaste of the liquor served. “Honestly! Can’t they provide anything stronger? It’s practically disrespect to serve-” A pause. “Hmm... well at least there’s plenty of eye candy to eat up.” The man changed topics in favor of discussing the newest arrival to his comrade.
From his vantage point, Kaeya discreetly surveyed the crowd. His sweep abruptly stopped when he spotted you in such an elegant gown. “My, my don’t you clean up well.” The captain chuckled quietly to himself. He smirked slyly down at you and thought of a couple ways to make you be the one to approach him.
His plans changed rapidly when he noticed how swarmed you were. You hadn’t even taken five steps before multiple men stopped you, a half circle was already beginning to form. Confusion and an awkward politeness were loud and clear on your features yet no one took the hint. 
The look of the situation bubbled up something in the pit of Kaeya's stomach. He would sooner cut off his silver tongue before ever calling it jealousy. It was accompanied by a feeling of annoyance. Do those men not have eyes? Couldn’t they see they were making you uncomfortable? They don’t even have the decency to let you greet your friends first before bombarding you.
He simply could not let this stand. As a knight, he is upheld to a code of chivalry after all. It was easy to weave his way through the other guests to get to you. “My dear Y/N, you made it!” Kaeya addressed you, loud enough to make a couple of the men turn to look. Without hesitation, he took the opening to wedge himself between the half turned bodies.
He made the maneuver look easy, like he had done this exact thing a million times over. The Calvary Caption smoothly took your hand in his and gazed into your eyes like there wasn’t a dozen people staring. He flash of a small smirk, with a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it glint in his eye before, he continuing his theatrics.
“You look simply heavenly.” Kaeya said in a sickeningly sweet tone, playing it up slightly for listening ears. “Now that you’ve arrived, you can do me the honors of bestowing me your first dance of the night. You did promise it to me after all.” 
You caught on quickly, nodding in agreement. That's all it took for Kaeya to lead you out of the corner you were trapped in and into the rest of the festivities. Once you both were out of earshot, you quietly thanked him. 
“There’s no need, Y/N. Those men were being simply unmannerly.” He laughed, a smug look creeping back onto his face. “Although, it would also be quite rude to make a liar out of me. So how about that dance?”  
Zhongli
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Zhongli was familiar to with the formal banquets held on the Pearl Gallery. He did not always attend, but when he felt the desire to people watch the consultant accepted the invitation. The harbor is a beautiful heart of Liyue and the its people are the blood that pumps through her veins. To the being who laid its foundation, Rex Lapis viewed it like art to see the continued flow of life unfold before him.
He participated as the role an average guest. Someone may strike up a conversation now and again, in response he would chat idly about nothing at all. The visitor would then move on to their next conversation and Zhongli was perfectly content sipping his drink and taking in the evolving atmosphere.
The next shift in energy accompanied your arrival and his ember eyes watched the scene change before him once again. The former archon was fascinated by the buzz that rippled outward from where you stood. When you approached, people excitedly began chatting, smiling, and laughing. Knowing you well, he could tell you were radiating delight effortlessly, even while just greeting other guests. He no longer observed the gathering as a whole, his gaze instead followed the intricate detailing leading up your bodice. It was entrancing to watch each graceful step while you made your way around the ship’s deck.
Zhongli contemplated the notion of approaching you. Doing so would actively shift the trajectory of the evening. Taking your time for himself disrupts the organic flow of art he admired just moments prior. Would that be fair to you? You, who was someone he respected and admired. You, who looked so divine that it demanded all of his attention in that very moment. You, who Morax would willingly give all of it to.
The answer to his dilemma came simply while watching your eyes meet. Zhongli no longer felt content with his self assigned role of bystander. He had a deep desire to partake. Thus, the stubborn rock uprooted himself. 
“Hello again Y/N, you look blindingly radiant tonight.” Zhongli approached you with a graceful bow The lightest kiss is placed upon the back of your hand like a whisper. Your glowing smile and warm greeting prompts yet another decision. “It would be heavenly if you allowed me your company tonight. Would you care for a dance?”
The old archon had already inserted himself into this occasion's flow, it would be foolish not enjoy it in full. 
Childe
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Jealousy. Jealousy. Jealousy. You were his guest after all. 
Tartaglia invited you, along with a few others, to a ball thrown by the Snezhnayan embassy. You weren't EXACTLY asked to be his date. Heck, the redhead even emphasized that you were invited as a good friend. But nonetheless, an honored guest of a Fatui Harbinger should be assumed off-limits. It shouldn't matter how stunning you look. Those men lingering around you will just need to be reminded. Politely of course.... 
Childe insisted on your attendance, even going as far as offering to buy you any dress you wanted for the occasion. You were still unsure, since you were aware of how bad the Fatui's reputation had tanked in Liyue recently. During back and forth with him, you jokingly pointed at an outrageously expensive dress in a shop display. There is no way, even someone with money, would drop that much on such a frivolous dress. It was double your rent for archon’s sake. 
Inevitably, when the dress was delivered on your step, you had to sit down to keep from falling over. You begged him to return it. There’s no way you could accept such an outragous gift. HE WAS BEING UNREASONABLE PLEASE! Like always, Tartaglia only laughed at you and teased how great you'll look in it.
The redhead didn’t expect just how great that was.
Some last minute Fatui conflicts allowed you to arrive before him. The party was in full swing and lively as ever. Guests were having enthusiastic discussions sometimes in a tongue you didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t long before you were pulled into a conversation, and then another. 
You already had five drinks lined up waiting for you by the time Childe arrived to the event. The fiery exchanges died down and a few peeled off rub elbows with the harbinger. Unfortunately, you were not able to go greet your friend. Three men blocked your path, insisting you finish your drink so you could dance with them. Any declination was laughed at and brushed over.
“Ah, you must be hard of hearing. My lovely guest here doesn’t wish to dance with you.” The polite words held a chilling edge to them. The men turned to face the instigator with puffed chests and annoyed glares. The Eleventh Fatui Harbringer stood behind them, a malicious smile staring directly back at them. Blood drained from the frozen men's faces and one by one they excused themselves with their tails tucked between their legs. 
“Now this isn’t fair.” Tartaglia sighed, his features relaxing now that is attention was on you. “You weren’t supposed to look this amazing in that dress Y/N.” He teased while also taking your hand and guiding you into a spin. “I may have to buy you a few more, so that I can see you like this more often.” You relaxed when you heard his playful tone return. You tell him to quit it while lightly slapping his shoulder. “Hm? I’ll stop if you agree to dance with me. How about it beautiful?”
Thoma
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Thoma knew his way around a party. With so many connections to maintain, he fluttered from guest to guest like the social butterfly he was. When the Kamisatos throw a banquet, he’s usually busy with everything that goes on behind of the scenes. As a show of appreciation, Thoma was told to simply enjoy himself tonight. He was sure to take advantage of such an opportunity. The blond even invited you. Since he had no obligations, he could be the one showing you a good time for once. 
It was comical how obvious his double-take was when you arrive. The boy's green eyes sparkled and his mouth hung slightly ajar in awe. He catches himself, remembering his manners. Surely, it couldn't be proper to gawk at your friend so openly. 
Some habits die hard. The Kamisato Clan’s resident housekeeper is the first to greet you and guide you in. “Y/N you look....! Hah, I don't even know how to describe how beautiful you look. I'm utterly speechless." Thoma's charming smile was blinding when he looked at you. For someone rendered speechless, he didn't stop there. "That dress is perfect on you and the color just make your eyes... wow.”
You are showered in compliments. How he is doing it with a straight face? Thoma tone was so earnest and genuinely delighted to behold you, but each word made your face burn in embarrassment. You had to insist that he to stop to prevent your incoming heart attack.
“Ah, sorry Y/N. I must have gotten carried away.” He chuckled, only then finally showing an inkling of bashfulness. “Here, allow me to show you around, I have some people I’d love you to meet.” 
Thoma offered his arm and guided you around the festivities, while also subtly showing you off to everyone and anyone. Like two peas in a pod, you laughed and talked while you mingled around. Anyone who didn’t know better would think you were a fresh couple struck with puppy love. But in Thoma's oblivious mind, he saw himself as only your attendant for the evening. He was simply there to ensure you’re a great time. He was happy with this.
The blond noticed your eyes drift over to the dance floor. It's then that he toed a line of where a servant should stay. It would be selfish for him to take you from the party and be the one to dance the night away with you. Sure, he wanted to..... he really wanted to. Would that be ok? Well... what was life without risks? If this was not proper, he'd happily accept whatever consequences.
“Y/N, would you like to dance with me? It would hands down make me the luckiest guy here.”
Ayato
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Ayato was bored of the banquet too soon after it begun. As Yashiro Commissioner, he hardly had a moment of peace. There was a multitude of important people in attendance and out of courtesy he exchanged pleasantries and discussed light politics. His lines were well rehearsed, polite and non-confrontational on any one matter. 
 He didn’t know you were on the guest list until your arrival. It didn't go unnoticed how you dress style and color pallet correlated perfectly with the Kamisato Clan's traditional attire. He deduced that Ayaka must of had a hand in both of those happenstances.
As if confirming Ayato's suspicions, Ayaka was the first to greet you. He watched the two of you excitedly talk amongst yourselves. She gestured toward your dress with a not-so-subtle two thumbs up from her. There was a growing chatter amongst the the guests. In less than five minutes you managed to become the center of talk. Not just anyone was warranted to wear Kamisato colors to their events, and so extravagantly at that too. Even with Ayaka’s clear public approval, people will imagine drama where there is none. 
Ayato had to admit, he couldn't tare his eyes from you. The clan head he was speaking to, continued going on and on about business dealings. Meanwhile in the commissioner's head, he began to map out how to speed run through the rest of the interactions he was obligated to have tonight. If he played his cards just right, he may have a moment to chat with you. If time allowed, he may even be able to squeeze in a single dance.
 Ayaka inevitably was pulled away to attend to her other duties, but she encouraged you to feel free to mingle and have fun. Once she left, the eyes on you and the quiet murmurs became much more apparent. 
Ayato noticed your previous excitement shift into anxiety. Left like this, you would be eaten alive by these ruthless socialites. You might even leave before he had a chance to make his way to you. This definitely won’t do. Ayato politely excused himself from the mind numbing pleasantries and briskly made his way across the banquet hall. Others who approached him received a similar kind but firm dismissal.
“These kinds of people always find something to gossip about, trust me.” You jumped, not expecting the sudden company. Least of all, you weren't expecting the head of the Kamisatio Clan to be the one to approach you. You look around at all the prying eyes and quickly compose yourself. You deeply bow to the man in front of you and state your name and status as a formal greeting. It felt strange since you were both so well acquainted as good friends. It was better to be safe than sorry in your opinion. You waited to be greeted back in a similar manner so that you could be released from your bow.... but there was only silence.
“Hah! There’s no need for that Y/N. You shouldn't feel the need to speak so formally to me for their sake.” Ayato's hand was slightly covering his mouth to stifle a few stray chuckles. You stood up properly and frowned at your friend in more embarrassment. Ayato sighed, amused, and leaned down to meet your eye level. “Really, there's no need for that. Besides, with how exquisite you look tonight, I should be the one honored.” The commissioner took a knee and placed a princely kiss upon your knuckles. Voices began to erupt around you two.
“Hm... Since everyone is going to be gossiping anyway, how about we give them something to talk about?” Ayato asked smoothly, his hand already leading you toward dance floor by the small of your back. 
Alhaitham
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Alhaitham was only there because he was FORMALLY WARNED that he would be reprimanded if he missed another mandatory Akademiya event. 
The scribe was the definition of a party pooper. He sat in the corner with the best lighting and cracked open the book he had brought along. (This is the equivalent to being forced to go to an office Christmas party for this guy.) Any attempts to talk to him were either ignored or efficiently rudely turned away. 
The book became front once he finished it twice over. Alhaitham knew he should have brought a spare. To pass the time, he turned off his noise cancelling headphones and waited. People tended to say more when they thought you weren't listening. To his dismay... some conversations were just not worth listening to. The scribe became so bored he actually began his third re-read at some point. 
“Is it even allowed to wear something so....... adverse to an Akedemiya function? That has to be some sort of dress code violation.” Two scholars whispered to one another just within earshot. Ah, finally something interesting. 
Alhaitham spared a discreet glance from behind his book to the controversy of the hour. It was you... how unexpected. And how you were dressed, also unexpected. A quick glace had become more akin to appreciation. You stood defiantly confident in your body conforming emerald gown, meanwhile scholars were bending over backwards to avoid getting close at all costs. As if being associated with you would also get them a violation too.
The scribe shut his book since he had become interested enough in the situation to give his full attention. He had an idea what this was all about but this was definitely not the outcome he would have bet on. 
You had mentioned your annoyance with the Akedemiya’s dress code to him. You even submitted a few applications for an appeal. A couple even got approved through him before ultimately being rejected by the grand sage. It made no sense! Why were you being dress code on the exact shade of green you wore? Or that your attire had to be floor length? For archon’s sake you were even told your comfortable shoes were too dirty to be acceptable. And you definitely showed them. Alhaitham didn't bother hiding the way he eyed you over. And recalling the rules and regulation.... there’s technically nothing wrong with your outfit. Although, you were guaranteed to get an earful tomorrow by the sages. He decided with that alone that congratulations were in order.
“I must say, this a wonderfully scandalous way to prove your point.” Alhaitham mused while approaching you. You rolled your eyes at his comment and both relief and stress washed over your person. While thankful for some sort of company tonight, your antisocial colleague was the last person you expected to run into here. You greeted him stiffly while preparing yourself for the endless teasing sure to follow. Alhaitham had just enough respect for your efforts to hold his tongue for now. He instead held out his hand in an invitation, the hint of a smirk emerging across his features.
“You know, dancing is technically only 'frowned upon' at these kind of events. Care to piss off a few more old men?”
You guys were about to be in so much trouble...
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<A/N: Another repost from my old blog!!! I love this one! The only things I changes were made for the better I think. I really gotta stop writing these at like 3Am and calling it a day. SOME OF THESE WERE SO CONFUSING BEFORE EDITING IT. Anyway thanks for the follows and likes I'mma keep on trucking these out. This was was particularly long so the rest should be faster. "should">
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wheresarizona · 4 months
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Learning to Live Part 30
summary: Sunday—it’s Javier’s 40th birthday, and you have some sexy surprises planned for when you get home from dinner. Monday—you’re back at work after your lovely vacation, and it’s time to bite the bullet and tell your disapproving family that you’re getting married. You can probably guess how well that goes over…
rating: E (18+! A good chunk of this is about birthday sex. No y/n, alternating POV, age gap (around ten years), unprotected p in v (wrap it up), creampie, oral sex (m & f receiving), 69, face sitting, butt plugs (f), anal play (f receiving), double penetration, breeding kink, lingerie, nude photos, dirty talk, praise kink, spanking, spit mention, waxing poetic about Javier’s dick, getting KO’d from orgasms, banter, domestic fluff, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, death of a parent/grief, dysfunctional family, arguing, period typical sexism, spoiling Javier for his birthday, nurse stories (humorous), Javier being the little spoon, discussion about eating habits, Javier making you post-sex food, a special guest makes an appearance)
pairing: Javier Peña/f!reader (reader is a nurse with no physical descriptions)
word count: 16.8k (Why am I like this?)
a/n: This chapter was supposed to be solely about birthday sex, but something happened, I’m not sure what, and somehow there’s a lot of plot in it now? I apologize. I am at the mercy of the characters. I hope you enjoy! Thank you to the love of my life @juletheghoul, for betaing! You’re incredible.
Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!
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There was a game Javier liked to play when you went out to eat with people and were seated next to one another. It was kind of like Chicken, where two cars drive toward each other, and one of them has to swerve, or else they’ll crash—basically, it was a test to see how ballsy you were and how much of a risk you were willing to take to come out as the victor. In Javi’s version, it involved his hand under the table on your knee that would slowly creep up your thigh and under your dress, if you were wearing one, or along your pant-covered leg to try and make it to his goal nestled between your thighs—it was up to you to determine how far he’d get. Were you going to chicken out and stop his movements? Or were you going to be ballsy and let him get to the finish line? Honestly, it depended on how you were feeling and who you were with because it was really distracting when he rubbed your pussy in the middle of trying to have a conversation with someone. Still, the game was a lot of fun, and sometimes you liked to mess with him by letting him get almost all the way to his prize before you denied him, just to keep him on his toes.
Another thing was that there wasn’t always one round. Sometimes, he’d wait a bit and try his luck, again and again, to see how many attempts it’d take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of your Tootsie Pop—unless you told him to stop, then his hand would make itself at home, holding your thigh.
Tonight was Javi's 40th birthday, and you'd gone out to dinner with his father. Usually, on such a special day—and the fact you were always horny for him—you'd allow his palm to reach its destination. This evening, however, you had stopped all of his attempts and wouldn't let him get very far since you didn't want to ruin the surprise that was hiding under your dress—and your fiancé was very, very curious about what your undergarment situation was, getting to the point you kept his hand still between your closed thighs until it was time to leave.
The meal and catching up with Chucho had been wonderful—hanging out with your soon-to-be father-in-law was always a great time.
On the morning that you called the older man to tell him about your engagement, you laughed when he said he'd have something put in writing about his promises that he'd love you both living with him and wouldn't mind if there was a newborn there, too. You were well aware of his eagerness to have grandchildren and bet Javi twenty dollars his dad was going to show up today with legal documents on the matter, and you'd been right—he had a large manila envelope with an agreement he had his lawyer put together inside for you. Once dinner was done, you found out that wasn't all he brought; Chucho presented Javi with a Tupperware container filled with a big slice of tres leches cake his tía María made from his mother’s recipe. As he ate, his dad quietly serenaded him with a song called “Las Mañanitas,” much to his chagrin, the first part being:
“Estas son las mañanitas, que cantaba el Rey David, (This is the morning song that King David sang), Hoy por ser día de tu santo, te las cantamos a ti, (Because today is your saint’s day, we’re singing it for you), Despierta, mi Javi, despierta, mira que ya amaneció, (Wake up, mi Javi, wake up, look it is already dawn), Ya los pajarillos cantan, la luna ya se metió, (The birds are already singing, and the moon has set).”
There was a promise between the three of you that the restaurant staff wouldn’t be alerted that it was Javier’s birthday in order to avoid the employees bringing attention to him and singing; he didn’t, however, put any restrictions on his father or you singing to him, and Chucho was happily exploiting that loophole while his son grumpily devoured his cake he shared with you.
Javi wasn’t actually annoyed with his dad—he had the Tupperware practically licked clean by the time you were ready to go, and before you left, he gave his dad a big hug and whispered his thanks for having the cake made since it was something his mother always baked for their birthdays.
The big 4-0 was a milestone that usually involved a celebration, but your fiancé had declined his father and three tías offers to throw him a party and told everyone he didn’t want any gifts—he was determined not to make it a big deal, and only desired to have dinner with you and Chucho; the tres leches cake was a wonderful surprise, and definitely appreciated, though.
All of that brings you to where you were currently—sitting beside Javi on the bench seat of his truck as he drove you home. He’d pulled up your dress to bare your knee, resting his hand on it, and you were wondering when he would give his game another go; you knew him and that there was no way he’d be able to resist trying again, now that you were alone.
"Did you enjoy your birthday?" you asked, doing your best to keep your squirming to a minimum as you tried to find a comfortable position.
"Yeah," he answered, glancing at you with a smile. "I loved spending the day with you, seeing my mom—" You stopped by the cemetery on your way to dinner to tell her about your engagement. "—and going to dinner with Pop. Today was nice."
You hugged his arm. "I'm happy you had a good day, even though a certain someone—" Lorraine. "—tried to ruin it. Do you think she'll listen and leave us alone?" There'd been an altercation with her on your walk to the restaurant, and Javi finally had his chance to give her a piece of his mind and threaten her and her family with restraining orders if they didn't stop bothering you.
His eyes were back on the road, a frown replacing his smile.
"Maybe? She's been dead set on making my life difficult since I left her, and I don't know if she'll be able to give up."
"Guess we'll just have to see." A change in subject was needed. "Sooo, do you have any requests for tonight?"
His fingers stroked the inside of your knee.
"What do you mean?"
He started slowly moving his hand along your thigh, your palm resting on his jean-covered leg.
"You know exactly what I mean. It's your birthday, so you get anything you want."
He turned his head your way for a few seconds.
“I thought you had tonight planned.”
"I do." You nodded. "But you're the birthday boy, and I wanna make sure to include any specific desires you may have for this evening."
His focus went to what was in front of him, his fingers skating up your inner thigh and under your dress.
"Hmmm," he hummed. "I know you don't want to spoil tonight, but will I get to eat your pussy?"
"If you want to, sure."
"Are you gonna suck my dick?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Will I get to come inside you?"
There was a pause for a moment as you figured out how to respond. "...yes?"
He looked over at you with a curious expression. "That's... interesting. With how you answered, I'll be coming inside you, but not where I imagined…"
You frowned. "Javier, it is your birthday, and I won't have you ruining my surprises by you going all Detective Peña on me." To end the sentence, you squeezed your thighs shut to trap his hand and keep it from moving any further.
Your reaction made him pout and turn his attention back to the road.
"Fine," he said. "I won't think about it." He sighed. "I know you're not wearing panties. I won't be ruining any surprises if you let me touch you."
"Sure, but I want you to wait until we get home so you can undress me."
"Okay."
You rubbed his arm with your free hand. "Patience, baby—you're gonna have a great time."
His eyes met yours, and he smiled. "I know, mi amor (my love), and I'm fucking excited." He moved his hand out from between your legs to grab your smaller one on his thigh, pressing your palm against where he was half-hard beneath his jeans.
"You are excited,” you purred, rubbing him over his pants. “Better get you nice and hard before we get home.”
“With what I’m hoping will happen tonight? That won’t be an issue, Cielito.”
Once you arrived at your shared apartment, you hung up the jean jacket you were wearing, setting your purse onto the console table near the front door, Javi emptying his pockets into the large bowl on top of it. Both of you kicked off your shoes, and your fiancé laid his folded sports coat over the back of the couch before he was on you, his lips hungrily colliding with yours in a searing kiss—one of his arms went around you to pull you flush against him, his other hand cradling the back of your head, making you moan when he eagerly licked into your mouth.
His kisses were sweet from the cake, tasting it on his tongue, arousal burning hot in your abdomen. He had your toes curling and skin vibrating, wanting him so bad, and he seemed to want you just as much when he turned and walked you toward your room with your lips fused together.
Anticipation was swelling inside you, butterflies going wild in your tummy at hoping Javi really did enjoy what you had in store for him.
As your feet moved, your hands worked open the buttons on his shirt, rubbing your palms up the warm skin of his torso once it was bared, feeling the soft give of his belly to his muscular chest—moving higher along his neck, cupping his cheeks, then pressing your fingers into his soft hair.
The moment you stepped into your room, he unzipped the back of your dress and moved you a little further inside to have you at the end of your big, king-sized bed. Javi broke the kiss, shrugging off his shirt that fell to the floor, his hungry gaze focusing on your chest—he was careful when he took the red, satiny shoulder straps into his hands, and pulled the dress down and off your arms, revealing your bosom, and letting gravity take the rest of it to the ground, where it pooled around your feet.
“Fuck,” he breathed. Javi was unable to stop himself; it was as if there was some kind of magnetic pull that had his hand reaching to palm your lace-covered breast. His eyes had darkened, the front of his jeans bulging where he was straining against the zipper. "This is what you've been hiding all night?" he asked, his free palm massaging your other tit.
His reaction made you feel good about your choice of lingerie.
The red teddy covered most of your breasts and down your ribs in sheer lace with laces crisscrossing from one side to the other on the front and back to keep the pieces together; the best part about it, and what you knew was Javi’s favorite part, was the fact nothing was covering your crotch or ass—it was put on like a one-piece swimsuit, your legs going through two thin straps, with the rest of the bottom completely bare.
There was a similar teddy you owned in a pretty plum color that covered more of your skin in lace.
"Yes," you answered. "Do you like it?"
His gaze met yours, and he stepped into your space, his big hands going around to grab your bare backside.
He was smirking with his eyebrow raised. "Do I like it?" he rasped. Javi squeezed your ass. "You know I fucking love it, mi amor (my love)." His lips met yours, kissing you quickly before he ended it with a playful nip to your bottom lip, pulling his head back to look at you. "You're so fucking sexy—Christ, I want you so fucking bad."
Your hands slid up his chest to caress his cheeks, smiling at him.
"I have another surprise for you..." you said.
His eyes rounded. "There's more?" he asked.
You booped him on the nose with your finger. "Yep," you answered. "You're getting spoiled tonight."
"You don't need to spoil me."
"Um, yes, I do. It's your special day. Plus, you spoiled me on my birthday by letting me tie you up and edge you—this is me making sure your night is just as wonderful." You poked him over his pec.
He grabbed your hand, bringing it up to kiss your knuckles as he smiled. "Happy fucking birthday to me."
"Yes, now, pants off, mister,” you ordered. “I don't want you coming in them." The sentence was punctuated with a wink.
What you said made him chuckle. "Yes, ma'am."
Stepping back from him, his hands went to the front of his jeans to quickly get them off. His belt clinked as he worked it open, hearing the teeth separate when he undid his zipper, the pants getting shoved down his legs, Javi having to do the awkward dance of lifting each foot to tug them off, along with his socks.
Once he was completely naked, he closed the distance between you, his big palms holding your face when he crushed his mouth to yours, kissing you hard. You snaked your hand down into the tight space your bodies had created to grab his throbbing cock, the skin velvety soft and hot to the touch, making him moan into the kiss. His hips bucked forward in your grip while you slowly pumped him. His hand massaged your breast and tweaked your nipple through the lace, his other palm tracing along your jawbone, the shell of your ear, and down to your neck, he gently held as you kissed, leaving a trail of fire under your skin.
"Let me show you your surprise," you murmured against his lips.
"'Mmkay," he said and didn't stop kissing you.
It was up to you to break away from him, Javi chasing your mouth when you did, making you grin and press your hand to his chest to softly push him back—his eyes were closed, his lips turned up in a smile, looking so unbelievably happy.
"Adorable," you whispered.
His chest was slightly heaving from his heavy breaths, his lips red and shining from saliva.
"Open those pretty brown eyes, babe,” you told him. “It’s time for your surprise." They blinked open, and he grabbed your waist.
"What is it?" he asked, his head dipping to kiss along the column of your throat. You took one of his hands and slid it behind you over your ass to between your cheeks.
His breath caught in his throat, his face popping up to meet your eyes with a look of surprise.
“Holy fuck,” he gasped. “Is that…?”
His reaction made you grin even bigger. “A very cute butt plug? Yes, it is.”
The plug was made out of smooth pink-colored glass with a tapered tip and bulbous body, the slender neck making it easy for your tight muscles to wrap around it and hold it in place, the flared base covering your hole shaped into a daisy flower.
As you said, it was very cute and filled you nicely—any time you moved, it had a tingle dancing up your spine, fueling the arousal sparking in your tummy.
His fingers were mapping out the flower, gliding over the petals, his gaze locking onto yours, seeing his cheeks had a lovely pink tint.
"Does this mean what I think it means…?" he asked with hope gleaming in those big, gorgeous brown eyes of his.
"That you can fuck my ass? Yes." You nodded. "I figured the toy would save us some time stretching me out."
He looked beyond delighted. "I am so fucking hard right now—how long have you been wearing it?"
"Since I excused myself at dinner to use the ladies' room—spoiler, I was in there getting this inside me; I brought lube and everything."
He was smiling. "My dirty fucking girl." His hand, not on your ass, came up to cup your cheek. "You kept adjusting in your seat when you got back, I thought you were horny—it's why I kept trying to touch your pussy—confused the fuck out of me that you wouldn't let me."
"I didn't want you to discover the lingerie or accidentally feel the plug."
"I get that now—can I see it?"
"Of course." You kissed him quickly and took a few steps to crawl up onto the bed, your hands and knees sinking into the mattress as you got onto all fours to present your ass to him. Seconds later, his warm palms were grabbing your asscheeks, spreading them.
You looked over your shoulder, and his eyes were glued to your backside.
"It’s so fucking pretty," he mused, rubbing a thumb over the base. “Can I take a picture?”
“Need it for your spank bank collection?”
In his bedside table was a stack of your nude Polaroids he liked to jack off to when the need very rarely arose.
His gaze lifted to yours with a smile. “Yeah, I do.”
“Then go for it.”
He walked away from you to grab the Polaroid camera off his dresser, returning seconds later. One of his hands pushed aside a plump cheek to give him a better visual.
“I fucking love this,” he murmured. The camera flashed, then whirred as it ejected the photo, Javi setting both out of the way on the bed. He was back behind you, staring at what he’d just photographed. “Am I allowed to touch it?” he asked.
"It's your birthday—you get to do whatever the fuck you want to me; mi cuerpo es tu cuerpo (my body is your body)."
He looked you in the eyes.
"I love you so much. I don't know how I got so fucking lucky—you're perfect."
"You're perfect."
His thumb circled around the edges of the glass flower, making you moan when he experimented by pulling it out a little and pushing it back in, loving the stretch—he did it again and again, and, again, Javi leaning his head down to spit on your pussy, the fingers of his other hand spreading it through your slit to rub your clit.
There was no way to stop your gasping moans as the toy was fucking in and out of your tight hole at the same time his hand strummed your bundle of sensitive nerves like a virtuoso—the sensations had your eyes rolling back in your head, the muscles in your abdomen starting to tighten as he built you up, higher and higher.
You had to face forward, your arms giving out, and crossing in front of you to rest your head on them—this was going to end quickly with how fucking good it felt, and you weren’t surprised when your orgasm hit, pleasure washing over you with a loud cry of his name.
Your breaths were ragged, sweat beginning to form on your skin.
“My good girl,” Javi purred. Both of his hands suddenly stopped, and a palm smacked the side of your ass, the sharp sting making you gasp.
"I need to eat your pussy," his voice was deeper and huskier.
Your entire body flattened onto the bed, and you turned on your side to look at him. The words came out hoarse, "How do you want me?"
"We can do anything I want...?" he asked. "Is there, uh, anything you're not in the mood for?"
Your eyebrow lifted. "Aside from my regular things I'm not into, nope—I'm down for whatever you want. What do you have in mind?"
He smirked. "You sitting on my face?"
You smiled. "Of course, you'd wanna drown in my pussy on your birthday."
"Yeah, and, uh—" He scratched at the back of his neck. "—would you wanna suck me off while I did it...?"
With how much you guys fucked, you were pretty sure Javi had put you in every position imaginable, but this request was new. Sitting on his face was something you’d done many times, but adding in having you blow him at the same time had your cunt clenching hard around nothing.
"Um, yes," you answered, nodding your head. "That is definitely something I want to do. Get your cute little ass on this bed and get comfy." You patted the bedding beside you. "I wanna take that perfect mustache for a ride."
Javi chuckled as he got onto the mattress and moved up it to flop over on his back, resting his head on a pillow he fluffed to get cozy. His hard dick was lying against his belly, the tip glossy with precum and dripping into the happy trail of hair on his stomach.
It took him a second to get settled before he tapped his chest, his eyes heavy-lidded and crookedly smiling.
“Get up here, baby—this mustache isn’t gonna ride itself.”
You snorted and started to crawl his way.
"Dork," you said.
"One you love."
"That I do.”
When you got to his side, you swung yourself around to face his feet, getting your leg over his torso to straddle him. Javi gripped your thighs and pulled you back to have your wet pussy hovering over his face, two of his fingers spreading open the lips of your sex.
"So fucking pretty," he murmured. He inhaled deeply. "You smell so good, too."
His cock was in front of you, and you held yourself up with one arm to wrap the fingers of your other hand around his length.
"In case I haven't said it lately," you started, languidly stroking him, "you literally have the prettiest dick I've ever seen.”
It was true.
He did have the prettiest dick you've ever laid your eyes on—at full mast, he was just shy of eight inches, cut, not too thin, but not too girthy, either; it was just the right size that when he was inside you, there was a nice stretch and perfect fullness. On the underside of his shaft, two throbbing veins were crawling up the sides and another along the top you liked to trace with your tongue; licking around the velvety soft ridge at the tip and over his frenulum was a surefire way to drive him crazy and get him to make absolutely delicious noises, and when he was coming, you could feel him get bigger and jerk in your mouth, hand, or cunt. If you were looking, you could see his balls draw up and his cock pulse as he unloaded spurts and spurts of his come.
It was truly a work of art.
“And being in a medical profession,” you continued, “I’ve seen a lot of dicks—95% I wish I hadn't seen."
He snorted. "Thank you—you have the prettiest pussy I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of pussy."
"The prettiest pussy?" You didn't mean to sound so surprised. "Really?"
"Oh yeah, the prettiest and the fucking tastiest."
It was evident Javi was done with the conversation by how he tugged your hips down onto his face and began feasting—which was an apt descriptor for how he eagerly dove in and the groans he made that sounded like he was eating the best meal of his entire life.
He licked through your wetness and over the lips of your cunt to get every last drop of your arousal he could find on his tongue; it felt so amazing you forgot for a minute you were supposed to be sucking him off. Gripping him at the base, you took him into your mouth, your head bobbing as you sucked down more and more of him until he was hitting the back of your throat.
His lips wrapped around your perky little clit, and when he sucked, it was like having lightning shock through you from the pleasure, your loud moan muffled by his cock in your mouth—it was hard to concentrate, and you put what little attention you had on the tip of him, licking along the sensitive ridge, pumping the rest of his spit-slick shaft with your palm that twitched, and loving how it made Javi whine.
He tasted salty from the steady leak of precum and clean, the scent of his skin smelling like the body wash he used in the shower. The lingering note coming through was Eucalyptus—woodsy, fresh, minty.
It was embarrassing that you were struggling to give him a basic blow job, doing your best not to get overwhelmed by his determined mouth trying to take you apart piece by piece as he licked, sucked, and tongue fucked you with abandon.
Fire was burning in your tummy and getting hotter with every second that passed. His dick was sliding along your palate to kiss the back of your throat, and you almost choked when he pulled and pushed on the toy in your ass.
It was skating the line of too much, how the plug was moving a little out to stretch your hole and being shoved back in to fill you again—thinking was hard, and you had to come off of him, unable to keep from moaning or stop your limbs from trembling.
“Oh, god,” you whined. “Oh, fuck.”
With how intense it felt, there was no way you could focus on sucking him off. What you could do was continue stroking his length, your hand gliding easily up and down while you were rocketing toward your end from him fucking you with the toy and sucking your clit. Your hips were moving of their own accord, rocking back to help fuck yourself and grind against his mouth.
Sixty-nining sounded fun in theory. The problem you ran into was your fiancé was relentless in wanting to make you come as hard as humanly possible, which made it practically impossible for you to do your part—it was too distracting. The pleasure had consumed all of your thoughts, and you could barely function.
The coil was winding inside you, getting tighter and tighter until it snapped, and euphoria was exploding from your center with a cry of his name, feeling your orgasm throughout your entire body from the tips of your fingers to your toes. Immediately, he shoved his tongue inside your fluttering hole to lick up your release, refusing to let a single drop of your come go to waste, and you could feel and hear his moans as you experienced the aftershocks of your climax.
With how hard you came, your hand paused on him, your upper body dropping, resting your head on his thigh to catch your breath and ride out your high.
Javi stopped behind you, lifting you from his face and inhaling deeply, taking big gasps of air.
"You okay?" his voice was rough.
"Mhmm," you hummed, speaking seeming too hard.
"You need a minute?"
"Mhmm."
"Let go of my dick."
You did as he asked and squeaked in surprise when he pushed you over to fall to the bed on your side.
"Sorry," he said. The mattress jostled, and pained grunts sounded from him, finding yourself seconds later getting wrapped up in his arms with your head on his chest.
“Did it feel good?” he asked and kissed your hair.
“Mhmm.”
“You come so quick with stuff in your ass.”
You smiled, finally finding your words. “You also come quick with stuff in your ass.”
“Yeah, I do—do you want me to fuck you while you’re wearing it?”
“Do you want to fuck me while I’m wearing it?”
“I wanna see how tight it makes you.”
“Uh-huh, and you wanna come in my pussy because you are on a mission to knock me up, and you would hate missing a chance.”
“That’s not all—it helps me last when I fuck your ass.”
“That’s true. It’s basically a medicinal cream pie. You know, earlier this year, they came out with a pill to help men keep it up, and we had a guy come into the ER who’d taken one—which, just so you’re aware,” you sidetracked, “if you have an erection lasting more than four hours, you need to seek medical help, and this dude was at almost six hours with a raging boner.”
He was frowning. “Did it go down on its own…?”
“Nope. A doctor had to use a syringe to remove some of the blood.”
"Jesus Christ, just thinking about that makes my dick hurt."
"Sorry." You rubbed your hand over his pec. "Let's talk about something else."
"Where'd you get the toy?"
A reasonable question, seeing as the closest sex shop was hours away in the big city.
"Okay, remember last month when you, me, Robyn, and Seb—" Sebastián, or Seb, was Robyn's boyfriend and Javi's cousin. "—spent that weekend in San Antonio, and you guys let us have our girls-only spa day while you and Seb went to see that movie about corrupt NSA agents that annoyed the fuck out of you because they got a lot of the government shit wrong, which you explained in excruciating detail to Seb at a bar afterward? Well, after the spa, she took me to a sex shop, and we bought some stuff."
"If you’re gonna make a movie about a government agency, you should do the fucking research,” he grumbled. His tone changed to intrigue, “What else did you buy…?"
"Some flavored lube and fluffy handcuffs. I was super picky about the kind of plug I wanted because you’d be surprised how many people come into the hospital with things stuck in their asses.” A memory made you snort. “Oh my god, so one time, this man came in with probably twenty or so of those bigger marbles? You know, the ones that are about double the size of a regular one? Lodged up his butt. When he was asked how they got stuck in there, he told everyone he was at home, standing on a step ladder, cleaning the cobwebs from the ceiling when he accidentally fell off and onto a container of them—this man stood by his story that instead of the marbles scattering everywhere when he fell on them, they magically made their way inside him.”
“What the fuck?” Javi said in disbelief. “He really thought people would believe he was cleaning without pants on, fell, and marbles just went up his ass? That makes zero fucking sense.”
“People come up with the stupidest lies when they’re embarrassed.”
“Like when you told the hotel staff we were checking out early because my nephew was viciously attacked by a duck?”
“You’re a jerk.” You pinched his nipple, making him flinch and laugh. “You’re just never going to let me live that down, huh?”
He grabbed your hand to kiss your palm. “No—you’re a terrible liar.”
“Rude.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” He kissed each of your fingers. “Did you buy anything else at the shop?”
“No, because I wanna go there with you to pick out things we’d enjoy."
He perked up, immediately responding, "We could go next weekend?"
"Shopping the weekend before Christmas? That would be a special kind of hell. Sorry, babe, we'll have to wait till next month." You got your hand free of him and patted his chest.
He let out a long, disappointed sigh. "Fine."
Things needed to get back to being horny, so you threw your leg over his waist and moved to sit on top of him with your knees bracketing his hips. His cock was wet from saliva and hard beneath you, and you leaned forward to kiss him, holding yourself up with your arms on either side of his head—this wasn't a peck on the lips or something chaste; this was a kiss that told him you wanted him. The kind of kiss that had his big hands grabbing onto your behind and groaning into your mouth. A kiss where things quickly heated up, and he was helping you grind your wet cunt over his dick, coating it in your slick. A kiss that turned into desperation for him to be inside you.
“Mmm, need lube,” you said into his lips. Sitting up, you leaned to get under the large, folded, black towel near the edge of the bed to grab the small bottle. You popped the cap, pouring a little bit into your palm before closing it and letting it fall onto the mattress beside you.
“With how huge your dick is,” you started as you lifted your hips up. “There’s no way in hell you’re gonna fit without some help.” Javi’s mouth fell open when you grabbed his cock under you, getting it nice and slick with the strokes of your hand.
His throat bobbed, swallowing. “Good call.” With how his eyes widened for a split second, you knew an idea had come to him. He grabbed your thighs. “Wait,” he said.
Your hand paused. “What’s up?”
“I wanna change positions.”
That had your eyebrows lifting in interest. “Oh?”
He was crookedly smiling. “Hands and knees, baby,” he replied, with a light slap to your hip.
“Oh, hell yeah.” You’d finished lubing him up and quickly moved onto the bed next to him, getting into the position he requested, your hands and slightly spread knees sinking into the mattress. Javi groaned when he flipped over and rose up onto his knees, the bedsprings complaining as he shuffled around to get behind you.
The smartest decision you made when you moved in together was upgrading to a king-sized bed—there was so much room for sexy activities.
Bending forward, he reached to grab the camera and set it in a place where it was easily accessible but not in the way.
He slid his dick through your drenched folds, notching himself at your entrance, his other hand holding your hip.
“Tell me if it’s too much,” he said. “Okay?”
Looking over your shoulder, you met his eyes that were more black than brown. “Yes,” you answered.
He smiled. “Good girl—ready?”
“Yes, Papí.”
“Fuck,” he groaned, his eyes closing for a moment. He looked at you again. “Me vas a matar (You’re going to kill me).”
“If by kill, you mean la petite mort, then yeah, handsome, I’m gonna make you come so hard.” You winked. “Now, stick it in.” You pressed back the tiniest bit to have the tip of him starting to enter you.
“And you call me bossy when I’m horny,” he mumbled.
There wasn’t a chance to respond since moans sounded from the both of you as he slowly started sinking into you, taking his time to let your body adjust to being stuffed with each glorious inch of him until he was buried all the way to the root inside of you.
Full didn’t accurately describe how you felt with the plug in your ass pressing against his thick cock—you were beyond full. You honestly couldn’t believe he was able to fit; you couldn’t believe you were able to take him. It was so overwhelming, it had you whimpering, squeezing your eyes shut.
Javi’s voice came out strained, “Are you okay?”
There was no way you could hold yourself up on your arms with it requiring too much concentration, so you let your upper body fall to the bed, cradling your head with your limbs.
“Yes,” the word was said on a breath.
All of the nerves in your body were aflame, feeling like static was thrumming under your skin. You were okay—you just needed a minute to get used to having both of your holes filled at the same time.
“Okay, baby.” He rubbed a comforting hand along the line of your spine. “Tell me when you want me to move.”
He picked up the Polaroid camera.
“Definitely gonna jerk off to this,” he murmured, and you heard the camera snap the picture and the gears whir to spit it out—he’d taken a photo of himself inside of you while you wore the plug.
The camera and picture were set aside.
There was a question you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. “Am I tighter?”
He huffed out a breath. “Feels like you’re choking my dick with that toy in your ass—so, yeah, you’re tighter. You’ll probably cut off the circulation when I make you come, and you squeeze around me.”
Even though it was a struggle to think of anything other than the fullness, he made you worry. “Are you uncomfortable?” you asked. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable…”
“Mi amor.” He bent over your back to kiss the hair behind your ear, speaking softly, “I’m okay—I like how it feels. I’m really fucking worried I’m gonna come too fast.”
That made you feel better.
After an ample amount of time had passed for you to get used to everything, you said, “Move.”
He nipped at the shell of your ear, grunting as he straightened. He gripped your asscheeks and slowly dragged his cock halfway out of your sopping cunt before thrusting back in, stealing your breath. His pace started out languid to allow you to adapt to the feeling of him moving inside you, rough sounds rumbling from his chest, his fingers tightening on your flesh.
The plug made it easier for him to rub against all those spots that made fireworks dance behind your eyelids. Sweat glistened on your skin, the pleasure making you dizzy, and even though it had only just begun, you were already on the cusp of falling over the edge—intense was an understatement for how you felt. The heat was growing deep inside you, deeper than it usually did, the muscles in your tummy constricting.
His hips were slowly fucking into you, Javi grunting, and it was like nothing you had felt before—feeling so full and falling apart with every thrust.
“Oh, god, Javi,” you whined. “I’m gonna come. You’re gonna make me come.”
With how he spoke through clenched teeth, you knew he was fighting for his life not to finish so soon, “Come for me, baby.” He smacked your ass, the pleasurable sting making you clench and his rhythm stutter. “Shit,” he gasped. “You’re so fucking tight—it feels so good.”
It was wet and sticky where you were joined, Javi coaxing wave after wave of arousal from your pussy that soaked his cock and dripped down to coat his balls—his thrusts were loud, squelching sounding every time he pushed in. Moans were escaping your lips while deeper noises ripped from his chest.
Javier wasn’t a tiny guy—just his cock made you feel full, and now you had it pressing into your sensitive walls against a rigid toy that turned up the sense of fullness to a ten and felt so fucking incredible that when he sped up his strokes, you were done for; pleasure erupted from deep in your depths that had your mouth opening in a silent scream and every muscle in your body pulling taut, hearing the man behind you let out a strangled groan as he suddenly stopped moving.
No thoughts could form in your brain, your chest rising and falling hard, your pussy pulsing as you rode out the high. Your ears rang, and you were too out of it to make out what Javi was saying, him sounding like the adults in a Peanuts film; a muted trombone going, ”Wah wah wah.”
A body pressed against your back, feeling hot breaths on your ear.
“Cielito?” he whispered.
“Mhmm?” you hummed.
“You okay, mi amor?”
“Mhmm,” you answered and gave him a thumbs up.
“Do you want me to keep going?”
The words slurred from your mouth, “Yes, please. I want you to come.”
“Okay. If it gets to be too much, tell me.” He kissed your hair, a pained sound leaving him as he moved up on his knees again.
Each time you’d done anal in the past, he’d made you come so many times you ended up passing out afterward. This time, though, the orgasms had been much stronger, and it was already hard to keep your eyes open—there was a chance if you had another, it was going to put you to sleep, and you knew Javi wouldn’t care, but you felt bad about possibly needing a little nap before he had a chance to fuck your ass.
“Javi?” you said.
“Yes, baby?” His palms slid along your sides from your waist to just below your ribs.
“I’m sorry if I fall asleep…”
He sounded confused. “Why are you apologizing for that…?”
“Because I know you’re super excited my ass is up for grabs tonight, and I feel bad I might have to make you wait while I take a little snooze.”
“Cielito, mi amor, it’s okay. Don’t be sorry, baby. I’m gonna tell you something that might surprise you.”
“What’s that?”
“Getting to fuck your pussy like this is better than fucking your ass.”
That surprised you so much that your eyes popped open, and you almost couldn’t believe him, except you knew he wasn’t lying since he was always truthful with you. Your knees were still under you with your butt up in the air, and Javi nestled all of the way inside you, your chest pressed to the mattress. You twisted your upper body to look back at him.
His forehead was shiny with sweat, his hair sticking wetly to it, a beautiful flush rising from his chest up to his cheeks, his darkened eyes meeting yours.
“Are you serious?” you asked.
His eyebrow arched. “Yeah? Why would I lie? Think about it—the plug makes your pussy so fucking tight, and I get to come in it.” He put it into plainer terms, “You’re tighter than hell, and I could knock you up.”
“Oh, you’re having the best time.”
He smiled. “I’m having the best fucking time.”
“You like the plug?”
“I love the plug. Do you like it?”
“Yeah, makes me come harder.”
“Then stop feeling bad.” He slapped your ass, and it made you tense, his mouth going slack and eyes closing at you clenching around his dick. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed, his throat worked as he swallowed hard. “It’s okay if you pass out,” he said. “I might pass out, too.”
He pulled himself almost all of the way out of your cunt, and pushed back in, the fullness making your head spin and pleasure simmer in your belly. He was definitely going to get you off again, and you no longer worried about what would happen when you did.
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He was going to come, and it'd only been—he looked over at the red numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table—eight fucking minutes since he first put his dick inside her, or more accurately, worked his dick inside her.
Javier knew it was going to be a tight fit, but what he hadn't expected was it feeling like when he pressed into her ass: the ring of muscle squeezing him hard as he fed himself into her. With the addition of the plug, there was the same tightness, yet it wasn't only at the opening; it extended further into her, massaging his cock with her hot, tight, velvety walls. He was balancing on a razor's edge to not blow his load, and her coming didn't help with how it made her pussy strangle his dick to the point it was toeing the line of being painful.
He was in heaven.
And when he made her come again, he knew she was going to take him with her.
He was rock hard, his heart thudding rapidly in his chest, and skin coated in a thin layer of sweat—Javier was wound up so tight, a ball of tension had formed in his gut that was threatening to burst; she said the toy made her come harder, and it looked like it was going to be the same for him.
His fingers dug into the soft skin on her hips, sliding himself in and out of her wet heat and having to take a big, calming breath, slowly letting it out to get himself under control and focus on not finishing so quickly.
Shifting his gaze down, he could see his cock covered in her juices, glimmering under the lights of the room before sheathing it back inside of her, and the pretty, pink glass flower covering her asshole. He was so sensitive from being close to losing it, the pressure from the toy's solid body and the warmth of her were driving him crazy and making him throb.
He increased the speed of his movements, gritting his teeth, her sounds spurring him on. He wanted to make her come once more, but he didn't have much time with the pleasure welling up in him and growing with every passing second.
His hand gripped her asscheek, his strokes not waning as the fingers of his other hand got ahold of the plug's flared base, pulling on it to stretch her hole until only the tip remained, and slipping it back in, doing that over and over again, and out of sync to his own thrusts.
The way she loudly moaned his name and stretched her arms out in front of her to clutch the bedding with her cheek to the mattress had him twitching inside of her, electricity shocking through his body. Her pussy was pulsating around him, her arousal seeping down his shaft to catch on his sack, and he knew she was close.
"You gonna give me one more, Cielito?" he grunted, continuing to fuck her with his dick and the toy. "Does it feel good getting both of your holes fucked?"
"Yes," she gasped. "Oh my fucking god, it feels so good, Javi." Her hands clenched the sheets, her body shaking. "You’re fucking me so good—marry me; put a baby in me." His rhythm faltered for a second at the stab of pleasure in his belly, and he groaned.
The muscles in his groin started contracting, his orgasm imminent, and he tried to hold it off. His hips moved faster, beads of perspiration dripping down his face and the small of his back.
"I will," he panted. "I'll marry you; I'll fuck a baby into you. I'll do anything you ask me to." His eyes were cinched tight, and he was so lost in her that his thoughts were flowing freely from his mouth. "Dime cuándo, y te haré mi esposa (Tell me when, and I'll make you my wife). En cualquier momento, soy tuyo (Any time, I'm yours). Siempre seré tuyo (I'll always be yours). Puedes tener mi apellido (You can have my last name). Seguiré intentándolo hasta que estés embarazada con nuestro bebé (I'll keep trying until you're pregnant with our baby). Serás la madre de mis hijos (You will be the mother of my children). I can't fucking wait—come for me," he ordered. "Give me one more, and my come is yours. I'll pump you full of it. I'll put a baby in you. Come for me," he all but begged.
That was it.
She gasped his name, her body going stiff, and cunt spasming, wringing out his own orgasm—his hips went flush to her ass, burying himself as deep as possible in her depths, the tightly wound ball in his belly snapping hard enough, he fell forward, blanketing her back. The sounds he made were guttural as pleasure seared through his entire being, his cock pulsing and pumping so many spurts of his come he thought it might never end.
His brain went blissfully blank, his body completely lax, his soul possibly leaving him for some seconds since everything went dark, and he couldn't think of a single thought.
When he came to, he was bone tired and on the verge of falling asleep. Thankfully, he had the presence of mind to bring her with him as he moved to lie on his side, her limbs trembling, and he knew she was sleeping when there was no reaction to him removing the toy from inside her; it was tossed onto the bed near them, and then he tugged on the duvet behind him to pull it over their bodies and hugged her close with one arm, pressing his nose into her hair to breathe in her comforting scent, the ring on the hand he was holding causing him to pass out while happily thinking about how pretty soon she’d be his wife.
Time passed as they slumbered, minutes turning into hours. They shifted in their sleep and he woke when the warmth of her front pressed along the line of his spine disappeared, the springs in the mattress softly squeaking as she moved to get off it with a whispered, "Sorry." He heard her walk into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
He threw the blanket off of him and got out of bed, not caring at all that he was naked as his bare feet took him to the kitchen, where he got two large cups of cold water.
When Cielito came back into the bedroom, she found him standing by the bed chugging one of the glasses, and she joined him to drink her own. He finished before her, setting his empty cup on the nearby bedside table and taking some steps to end up behind her, wrapping his arms around her lingerie-covered middle. His lips met the side of her neck, kissing up it to nibble on her ear.
She hummed in appreciation, resting her free hand on one of his arms. She swallowed her drink of water. "Did you have a good time, baby?" she asked.
He spoke softly in her ear, "Yes."
Her fingers slid along his arm.
"Good. Are you up for another round, or do you wanna shower, and we can cuddle on the couch and watch something?"
Truth be told, he was exhausted from how eventful the last four days had been, and he didn't think he had the energy to go again—he was drained, and his dick was starting to ache from using it so much in Miami.
"Shower and couch," he answered, kissing a spot behind her ear. Her hand came up to press her fingers into his hair, and it made him shiver.
"Sounds good. Let me finish my water, and then we can go get clean."
"Thank you for today." He was peppering kisses along her shoulder now.
"You're welcome, babe. I'm happy you enjoyed it."
"I loved it."
"I love you."
"I know. I love you, too—I love you so fucking much."
"Same."
Forty-five minutes later, they were clean and changed—Javier was wearing his grey sweatpants, and his future wife was in a faded, thinned, oversized purple t-shirt and her underwear. She was sitting on the kitchen counter beside him eating a grilled cheese while he made his own sandwich on the stove.
At dinner, he noticed she didn’t eat much, and when he quietly asked if she was feeling okay, she told him she was fine and just not very hungry, which turned out to be a dirty fucking lie with how her stomach loudly grumbled on their way to take a shower. So, the first thing he did after they were dressed was feed her; she tried to fight him that it was his birthday and she should be cooking for him, and he responded by telling her it was his birthday and he wanted to make her something to eat. She agreed to grilled cheese sandwiches, and he had to sit her ass on the counter and tell her not to move in order to keep her from trying to help him.
“This is the best grilled cheese I have ever had in my entire life,” she said around the food in her mouth.
He huffed out a breath, flipping the sandwich in the pan with a black plastic spatula. “You’re only saying that because you’re fucking starving,” he replied.
She swallowed. “Lies—it’s the world’s best. You could win awards for how good this is.” Half of her sandwich was already eaten, and she took another bite.
Javier set the plastic utensil onto the counter on his other side and stepped to have himself standing between her legs. He rubbed his palms up her bare thighs, kissing her forehead. “I’m glad you like the sandwich, Cielito,” he said, looking at her. “Do you want me to make you another?”
She was chewing and shook her head, swallowing. “No, thank you. One is enough.”
“I can cut up some fruit? We got enough today at the grocery store for me to make you a fruit salad?”
Her hand pressed to his cheek, her gaze turning soft, and he leaned into her palm. “I’m okay, Javi,” she said. “This one sandwich is enough.”
He frowned. “You told me you were fine at the restaurant and not very hungry, but that wasn’t true, mi amor. I know it was because of the sex tonight—”
“Birthday sex,” she interrupted. “Birthday sex is special and worth going a little hungry for.” “I disagree with that…” His sandwich was finished, and he moved back to the stove, sliding it directly from the pan and onto a waiting plate next to the spatula.
“What do you mean you disagree with that?” she asked.
He put the pan on one of the cold back burners and switched off the stove, returning to his spot in front of her. His eyes were on hers, smoothing his hands along her thighs and under her shirt to hold her hips. “I mean that we’re trying to have a baby, and I don’t like the idea of you not eating enough for yourself and our child just so we can fuck.”
“Oh.” Her attention went to her lap.
“In the future, eat as much as you need—do something light if you’re really worried.” He lifted her chin with his finger to look at him. “Can you promise me that, Cielito? Can you do that for me so I won’t worry?”
“Yes.” She nodded.
“Thank you.” He slotted his lips against hers, kissing her tenderly. When they separated, he asked, “Another sandwich or fruit?”
“Fruit, please,” she answered. “Can you do it with Tajín and chamoy like the fruit cart?”
She was talking about the fruit cart on the side of one of the busier streets downtown where you could get freshly cut fruits like mango, jícama, papaya, and watermelon, and they did vasos de frutas (fruit cups) similar to the street vendors in Mexico; cups filled with a variety of cubed fruits and topped with Tajín (a powder made of chile, lime, and salt), and chamoy (a thick sauce made out of pickled fruit like mango, plums, and apricot that was mixed with spicy chiles, and a salty brine—it’s a tasty mixture that was sweet, spicy, salty, and sour).
The combined ingredients created a refreshing snack that perfectly balanced the sweet, tangy, and spicy flavors.
He smiled. “Of course, mi amor.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips before making his way to the fridge to start getting out the fruits.
She hopped off the counter after she finished her sandwich to stand next to him, holding up his grilled cheese for him to take bites of while he chopped the fruit and chatting with him about random things on her mind.
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They were sitting on the couch, her legs on his lap, and had just finished their vasos de frutas (fruit cups), which ended up being tazones de frutas (fruit bowls) while they watched the first Jurassic Park movie. His empty bowl was on the coffee table in front of them, his hands busy gliding over her legs and thighs. She leaned forward to set her dish down beside his as Dr. Malcolm discussed the moral implications of the island's scientists only caring about what they could and couldn't do and not if they should. Cielito moved to get up, and his face lifted toward hers.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
Her eyes met his. "First, I'm gonna go put the bowls in the sink." She bent to pick up one in each hand and straightened. "Then I need to go grab something."
"What do you need, and I'll get it?" He started to stand, wanting to help so they could get back to cuddling quicker.
"Nope,” she said, and he stopped. "I'll get it. You just sit there and keep looking pretty." She smiled.
He frowned. "Okay."
She left the room, and he couldn't pay attention to what was on the television, instead listening to her rinsing the bowls out in the kitchen sink, followed by her footsteps as she made her way back through the living room, his head turning to watch her on her journey into the bedroom where she disappeared from view.
He wondered what she needed—maybe she wanted to paint her nails and had to choose a color of nail polish. Or she was going to get the stuff for face masks, which was something he enjoyed; his skin hadn't looked this good since he was in his early twenties.
"I'll be out in a minute, babe," she called from the other room. "I need to check the message on the answering machine."
"Take your time," he replied, hoping she didn't.
The fingers of his right hand were tapping absentmindedly on his knee.
His gaze went up to the clock on the wall, seeing it was a little after eleven, his eyes following the big hand as it ticked away each second.
Tick, tick, tick.
A whole minute passed before she returned to him, his eyebrows pulling together at her frowning face.
"Who called?" he asked.
"My mother."
That explained it.
"What did she want?"
"She said she had some exciting news and needed to talk to me about something important."
"Any idea what either could be...?"
A long, drawn-out sigh left her. "Yeah, most likely it's to tell me my brother's wife is pregnant again—they've been trying for months."
She found out they started trying the night he first told her he loved her. His face relaxed, understanding now that she was upset by the possible news.
He rose from the sofa and went to her in three steps, wrapping her in his arms to hold her close. He kissed her cheek and whispered, "It'll be us telling people the same news soon—they just had a head start. Don't let it get you down, okay? Everything is okay. We're okay. We’re happy, and that’s all that fucking matters."
He felt her relax in his hold.
"You're right—they've had more time."
He pulled back to look at her, smiling softly.
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I can knock you up in the same amount of months. Hell, maybe I'll be so fucking good at it that I’ll get you pregnant with twins."
That made her giggle, and her mouth turned up in his favorite smile.
"You're ridiculous," she said. "It's not a competition."
"It is now—we're gonna beat their time."
She playfully rolled her eyes.
"I love you, you goober." She kissed him, and when she broke away, there was a serious look on her face. "Let's stick to one baby for my first pregnancy, please."
"That's not how it works..." he said slowly. "It's a gamble, Cielito."
"Yes, I know that Javier, but let's not put the idea out into the universe."
"Okay—un bebé (one baby). That's all I'll wish for or whatever the fuck."
"Even though I know you're being a lying liar who lies because you'd be beyond happy if there was more than one baby—“ That was true; he’d love getting two babies for the price of one. “—I appreciate the thought. Now, enough about me. You need to open your birthday present."
His face scrunched in confusion. "Didn't I do that when I took off your clothes…?"
"That was only the sexy birthday present. I also got you an actual present."
He was so worried about her that he hadn’t realized she was holding something. She held up a rectangular gift wrapped in solid, bright red wrapping paper.
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said. “Today was perfect.”
“Sure, but as I told you when you were undressing me, you’re getting spoiled tonight. Please open this. I’m nervous about it.”
“Why are you nervous?” he asked, taking it from her.
“Because I put a lot of time into it, and I’m pretty sure you’re going to love it, but there’s a chance it’ll make you sad.”
That had him curious. He stepped away and grabbed her hand to lead her to the couch, pulling her down to sit beside him.
It wasn’t too heavy or light, and when he felt it, it was firm. He thought it might be a book. Tearing open the wrapping paper, he discovered it was actually a maroon-colored leather-bound photo album.
He glanced over at her.
“We have our photo album of us we put together. What’s this one?”
He asked the question even though he had an idea of what it could be.
She gave him a reassuring smile. “Open it, and you’ll see.”
He did as he was instructed, and his breath caught in his throat—the first picture was of him as a newborn being held by his mother in a hospital bed. His birth hadn’t been the easiest, and the exhaustion was clear on her face, yet she was grinning. The next photo was in the same spot, but this time, she was gazing at him in her arms with a look that showed she was in love and unbelievably happy. His eyes started watering, turning to the next page to find more pictures of newborn him and his mom now taken at home. All the pages after that featured the same thing: it was always just him and his mom. Some of the photos he’d seen in other albums his father had, there were many, though, that this was the first time he’d come across them.
He lost count of how many were of them in the kitchen, seeing them both age through the years and him doing more to help her as he grew.
There was one where he was maybe three, standing on a dining room chair with his mother beside him as he used a tortilladora (tortilla press) on the table to flatten tortillas, one perfectly done on the plate. His face was turned up toward her with a toothy grin, and she was gazing upon him fondly and clearly proud—it was the first time he had made a tortilla.
He was maybe six in another, using a stool in order to reach the stove with her watching from behind him as he stirred a giant pot he knew had the sauce for her tamales—it was the first time she walked him step by step on how to make them, and it reminded him of something she said that day: “Un día, tu esposa hará esta receta y necesitas poder ayudarla, así que presta atención, Javiercito (One day, your wife will make this recipe and you need to be able to help her, so pay attention, Javier).” And she was right. He had used what she taught him to help his wif-fiancée make her tamales. He even showed Cielito some of the techniques his mother used to make the process easier.
His father had captured a lot of wonderful moments, including one when he had to be about ten with how he’d shot up in height and was almost as tall as his mother—they had matching grins and were mid-dance in the kitchen, her left hand held in his right and their arms around each other’s backs.
So many memories came back to him of times they spent together, and there was even a picture of the last time they made a tres leches cake for his birthday, both laughing about something he couldn’t remember, and it made him smile at how happy they looked.
The final photo was of him in his senior year of college after a swim meet. He’d changed back into his clothes—some jeans and a baby blue button-up shirt, his hair still wet, and a gold medal around his neck. His mother was embracing him from the side, her head barely reaching his shoulders, Javier hugging her back; big smiles were on their faces, and happiness was shining in their matching chocolate-colored eyes as they looked at the camera.
Seeing all of the sweet moments they shared already had him on the verge of tears, and this one broke him, knowing it was his last competition before he met Lorraine—his shoulders shook with sobs as he let himself cry.
The album only contained the memories of before his life went to shit—when he was on track to make his dream of swimming in the Olympics come true, his mother was still alive, he hadn’t hurt his parents with his bad choices, and life was good and still made sense.
“Oh, Javi,” Cielito’s voice was soft, and he welcomed her arms that enveloped him. “I’m so sorry—I worried it’d upset you. I shouldn’t have made this. I’ll take the pictures back to Pop’s.” She reached for the album, and he held it away.
“No,” he said through the tears, his words coming out gravelly. “It’s perfect—I love it.” Closing the book, he set it on the coffee table in front of them before he twisted his body to pull her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. Her hands were rubbing soothingly over his back. “Thank you,” his muffled voice said, tears wetting her skin. “Thank you for making it—it brought back so much happy shit I’d forgotten.”
“You really love the album?” she asked.
He pulled back to look her in the eyes and nodded with a little smile. “Yeah, it really is perfect. You wanna know something?”
“What?”
“I can’t wait to show it to our kids one day.” Her face brightened. “I know you’ll probably cook with them, and they’ll love seeing photos of their abuela (grandma) and papá (dad) doing the same.”
“Oh, I’m absolutely cooking with our kids,” she said, and it had warmth spread through his veins. “Your dad let me go through the boxes, plural, of loose photos he has—side note, I have never seen so many, and I’m pretty sure he’s single-handedly keeping the one-hour photo kiosk in business.”
“Probably,” he chuckled.
Growing up, whenever his father wasn’t working out on the ranch, he was spending time with Javier and his mom, and it was pretty typical for Chucho to get out his camera or video camera to snap pictures or record whatever they were doing—his dad was a sentimental guy. With Javier being his only child, he wanted to ensure they documented as much as possible to look back on fondly.
“Anyways,” she continued. “I went through hundreds, maybe even thousands of photos, and in every single one of you with your mom in the kitchen, you both look so fucking happy, and then add in that some of your favorite memories are cooking with her, and I want that for our babies, too. I want them to have happy memories of learning to cook with their mom and dad.”
His vision was blurring with unshed tears, feeling so unbelievably happy he might combust.
“You want me there, too?”
“Um, yes, Javi. As your mother would say, ‘Eres mi buena suerte (You’re my good luck).’ You gotta be there to at least take a ton of pictures.”
He was smiling. “I’d love that.”
“Good.” She kissed him, just a press of her lips to his, and it wasn’t enough; he deepened it with a swipe of his tongue along her bottom lip, and when she granted him access by opening her mouth a little, he was delving inside to tangle their tongues.
He didn’t know how he got so lucky finding her—she was perfect. Somehow, she made him fall more in love with her with each passing day.
Hearing her say she wanted their children to experience the same happiness he did with his mother had him feeling over the moon and even more excited about them starting their family—she was going to be an incredible mom to their kids, and it filled him with joy knowing, without a doubt, they’ll get to grow up like him with parents who will not only love them more than anything but each other to the point their children will be disgusted by their open affection. Their kids were going to have happy childhoods where they knew they were loved and cherished and got nothing but encouragement for their dreams. It would be drastically different than how Cielito was raised, and that was what she wanted; she couldn’t fathom treating her children the same way her parents treated her. There wouldn’t be one kid who was loved more than another, and they definitely were going to be proud of their babies no matter what. She was breaking a cycle of neglect and impossible standards to ensure their children only knew love and acceptance.
Their breaths were coming out heavier when their mouths detached.
She smiled, the sentence coming out breathy, “Happy birthday, Javi.”
He shared her look. “Thank you for making it amazing—made me almost forget I’m old now.”
She huffed in exasperation. “You turned forty, Javi. You’re not old. If it makes you feel any better, I’m happy to report you’ve still got a bangin’ bod and continue being a sex god.”
“You’re calling me a sex god again?” His eyebrow rose.
“I never stopped calling you a sex god, and let’s look at the facts:” She held up one finger. “Stamina of someone in their twenties.” The next digit went up. “The experience of a forty-year-old that’s spent a lot of time fucking.” Another finger rose. “Makes his partner come every time.” The next digit extended. “Actually knows how to use his mouth and fingers.” The final finger went up. “Has the biggest and prettiest dick known to man—face it, babe, you’re a bonafide sex god; I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a statue of you in some sex temple somewhere.”
His chest had puffed out a little from her praise, and what she said made him snort, Javier, smiling. “What is it with you and statues of me?”
She pushed his bangs off of his forehead. “Um, did you not hear the part where I said you have a bangin’ bod and the biggest and prettiest dick known to man? You’d make a sexy statue—hotter than Prince Eric’s, and that’s saying something.” Both of her hands came up to hold his face as she stared him in the eyes. “What you should get from this is I find you exceptionally attractive and want to have your babies, and I’ll still find you exceptionally attractive and want to have your babies next year, and the year after that and the year after that; you get the picture. Basically, I do not give a single fuck about how old you are because you are aging like the finest wine, sweetcheeks, and I am so unbelievably horny for you.”
From the way she was looking at him, he knew she was telling the truth, and it made him feel some relief. He’d been dreading this day, and he was starting to realize there was no reason to—he was older and wiser, engaged to marry the most amazing woman on the planet, in the process of starting his family, working a job he didn’t hate, and he was back home, where he belonged (even if some of the townspeople thought otherwise). He was happy, truly happy, and yeah, it wasn’t an easy journey, and it took him a while to get to this point, but he made it, and that was all that fucking mattered.
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Mondays were the worst.
Mondays after a lovely vacation were the worst of the worst.
Honestly, it should be illegal having to go back to work on a Monday after being away. Unfortunately, it wasn’t, so here you were sitting at the nurse's station desk, a bit past ten in the morning, notating a chart, and nervously waiting for your first break that was in—you glanced at the watch on your wrist—five minutes.
"Still nervous?" Came the Texas twang of your coworker/best friend, Robyn, who pulled out the rolly chair beside you and sat down.
Her long, chestnut curls were pulled back into a ponytail, and she looked ready to model with how perfectly she’d done her makeup; firetruck-red lipstick was coating her full lips, her big blue eyes accentuated with an outline of black mascara and eyeliner, her cheeks rosy, and face blemish free without being caked in foundation and concealer—she could be on the cover of the American Journal of Nursing magazine with her being in her blue scrubs.
Your head turned her way, frowning. "Yes, because I know, in my bones, it's not gonna go well."
She gave you a reassuring smile and put her hand on your arm. "And that's why you're doin’ it on your fifteen-minute break. It gives you a time limit, and havin’ to get back to work is a great excuse to end things."
You weren't convinced. "I guess..."
"I'm sorry, girl, but this is somethin’ you have to do and it'll be better to just rip off the bandaid."
"Maybe I'd prefer to keep the bandaid on and continue living in my perfect little bubble with the love of my life."
"Because the bubble is goin’ to burst one way or another, and at least this way, you're in control."
"I really don't want to do this…" you said truthfully. It had you feeling a little sick.
"I know, girl." She patted your forearm. "I can't promise it'll go well, but just remember you've got Javi and me for support, and you know as well as I do that man will up and leave work without a word to come here for you."
"That's true. He, uh, doesn't know..."
The other woman's eyebrows dipped. "Why didn't you tell him?"
"It's Javi—he'd worry too much and wouldn't be able to work. Now that we're doing this whole baby thing and getting married soon, it's like his caveman instincts have turned up to the max, and he's in protection mode 24/7. So, he's not going to find out about what's going on until after it happens."
"If you think that's best." Her eyes went to her wristwatch. "Looks like it's time." She met your gaze. "Go do it in the on-call room so you'll have some privacy."
You took a deep breath, ignoring the fluttering nerves in your belly. "Okay," you said as you pushed back in your chair to get up. "If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, you better come to get me."
She smiled. "That was the plan."
"You're the best."
The closest on-call room wasn't anything more than a small windowless room with a twin-size bed and a desk with a lamp and telephone atop it. The overhead light was on, and you'd locked the door upon entering, taking a seat at the desk. Picking up the phone's receiver, you pressed it to your ear, your other hand punching in the string of numbers from muscle memory, and hardly any thought.
Ring.
Ring.
"Hello?" the familiar voice answered.
This was it. "Hi, Mom, it's me."
"Oh, good, you got my message. I was expecting your call yesterday."
"Sorry, it was Javi's birthday, and we went out to dinner to celebrate."
Her voice went tight. "I see... Remind me again how old he turned?"
"Forty."
"Forty years old, and he doesn't own a house or have a career? When your father turned forty, he was already the chief of surgery and had invented a procedure, but I guess they're two different men from two different backgrounds."
Your jaw clenched. "I don't appreciate you belittling the man I love, who had a very successful career in the DEA and helped take down Pablo fucking Escobar and the Cali Cartel before he was forty—but please, go on about his ‘lack of career,’ and how he doesn’t measure up to Dad in your eyes; I’d be more than happy to end this call right now.”
The older woman sighed. “I’m just looking out for your best interests, but since it’s a sore subject, I won’t talk about him at all.”
The ‘best interests’ excuse made you roll your eyes so hard they were at risk of getting stuck in the back of your head.
"Fine—what's the exciting news you have?"
"Oh, yes," her tone shifted, hearing her excitement. "Your brother is having another baby, and it's a boy!" You fucking knew that was why she called, and you didn’t have it in you to be excited, not when the same news from you would have a vastly different reaction. "Your father and I are so excited to have another grandson," she continued. "I can't believe how blessed we are to have three grandchildren, a fourth on the way, and they’re all boys!"
"God forbid they had a girl," you mumbled.
"What was that?"
"I said, wow, that's great," you spoke normally. "Well, give them my congratulations, and if that was all you wanted to tell me, I'm going to get back to work—I'm on break."
Yes, you were chickening out on telling her about your engagement.
"That isn't the only exciting news!"
"Yay, there's more," you deadpanned.
“If your father was home, he could give you more information, but his hospital is going through some staffing changes, and he got you a job to be the director of nursing—you can finally move back home!"
Um, what?
He got you a job you never even asked for or wanted?
The audacity of them doing this behind your back in an attempt to lure you home had stunned you into silence, anger threading through your chest and tummy.
"Are you still there?" she asked.
"I don't want a new job," you said calmly.
"You don't know what you're saying, sweetie. This would make you the head of the nursing program at his hospital and is much better than whatever it is you’re currently doing. You’d make substantially more than what you are right now, and it brings you closer to us, your family—it’s about time you come home, anyway. You’ve been away long enough and haven’t been making the best decisions.”
Tears were burning in your eyes at the blatant disregard for your feelings.
"I'm not leaving Laredo."
She sighed again. "What does that backwater town have to offer you? That hospital you're working for can't compete with what your father’s hospital is willing to pay, and there isn’t anything there worth staying for or tying you down—thank god you've been smart and haven't done anything stupid like get pregnant."
She managed to insult Javi and the life you built without outright saying the words, and it pissed you off how fucking rude she was in regards to your future husband—she could say whatever she wanted about you and the way you were living, but you wouldn’t stand for such vitriol toward your fiancé.
"I'm getting married,” you blurted.
Her line went completely silent, and you thought she might’ve hung up until she said, “I’m sorry. I think I misheard you. What did you say?”
“Javi proposed—we’re getting married, and that isn’t the only exciting news; we’ve started trying for a baby.” Informing people that you were getting fucked raw and filled like a Boston cream donut on the regular made you wish the earth would completely swallow you up so you didn’t have to feel such embarrassment; it being socially acceptable to openly discuss your sex life when it had to do with procreation would never make any sense to you.
“I know Javier doesn’t meet your standards,” you continued, “however, he more than meets mine, and I wish you could see how incredible he is and how happy he makes me, but the only things you care about is the amount of money in his bank account and career choice; which, again, people all over are aware of who The Javier Peña is because of the work he did with the DEA. He was a hot commodity when he returned to the States, and agencies all over the country were trying to bag him.
“Just because he’s not in the same tax bracket as you,” you kept speaking, “and he can’t buy me a big mansion we don’t even need, doesn’t make him any less of a person. Honestly, he’s better than you—he’s better than you. He’s better than Dad, and he’s definitely better than that golden child you worship, who couldn’t even make it into his Ivy League school without you buying his way in. Javi got a full-ride scholarship to his dream university because of how talented he was at swimming,” you said proudly.
“My fiancé is an amazing man who treats me like a queen and will be the best father to our children. Now, let’s circle back to your question about what Laredo has to offer me—the answer is everything. Laredo has everything I could ever need or want. The man I’m marrying and the future father of my kids is here. I have a family here—a real family that loves me. I have friends and a great job here. This is the place where I’ll raise my children and grow old with my soulmate. This is my home and where I’ve always belonged. So, thank you, but no, thank you for such an amazing job offer I didn’t ask for. I’m not leaving Laredo—you’re just gonna have to get used to the fact that Javier and I are a package deal and that he’ll be your son-in-law one day and the father of your grandchildren. If you can’t stomach that, then don’t ever call me again because Javi means more to me than anyone else in the entire universe.”
Silence.
Many seconds passed before she spoke.
“You’re sure he’s the one…?” she asked slowly.
“Yes, one hundred percent.”
“You don’t care about how much money he has because he makes you… happy…?”
She made it sound like a foreign concept, and you huffed in amusement.
“I know, it’s crazy to fall in love with someone for them and not their money.”
“This is what I get for allowing you to watch those cartoon fairytale movies when you were a child. Your ideas of what’s important in life have been skewed by fictional nonsense, and you failed to notice at the end of those films, the girls become princesses—rich—when they meet their princes and finally get their—what was it?—happily… happily…” She was struggling.
“Their happily ever afters?” you said.
“Yes, that’s it! They only got their happily ever afters once they became princesses, and you should strive to want that kind of status or meet a man who will give it to you.”
“Weird take, but to me, they get their happily ever afters when they meet their one true loves, and the fancy titles are just bonuses.” You shrugged even though she couldn’t see you.
She let out a sigh. “You need to understand that real life isn’t like those whimsical cartoons. You might think you’re in love right now, but you haven’t even known this man for a year. How do you know if you will feel this way about him a year from now? Or two years? There’s no guarantee that your relationship will last, and you’re throwing away a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to advance your career and make a name for yourself because you’re infatuated and living in some dream world.”
“I am in love, and it’s the real thing. What you’re not understanding is my career is secondary to my happiness. I care more about being happy than making money, and I’ve made my choice that I’m going to marry Javi because he makes me happy—get it through your head that he isn’t going anywhere.”
“Very well, if that’s your decision, then so be it.”
“Thank you.”
“Can you answer a question about Javier?”
“Uh, depends on what you’re going to ask...”
“He helped take down Pablo Escobar and that other cartel, which wouldn’t have been small feats. I’m assuming a lot of opportunities would’ve opened up to him within his agency, and he was probably on track for promotions. Why did he quit when he was at the height of his career?”
You smiled. “Because he decided his career was secondary to his happiness, and he cared more about being happy than advancing in a job he’d grown to hate.”
“Oh.”
“You know, he only went to work for the Sheriff here, so I wasn’t the sole provider in our relationship—he makes decent money, too, and tries to pay more than his fair share. He took the job to be able to take care of me, and if I couldn’t work, we’d be more than okay on just his salary.”
“Really?” She didn’t attempt to hide her surprise.
“Yes—someone with Javi’s expertise is paid handsomely to consult. He’s gotten a ton of offers to do paid talks at universities and conferences. He’s actually kind of a big deal in that community.” It was lovely getting to brag about him.
“Why haven’t you told me this before?”
“Because from the moment you found out I was dating him, you were convinced he wasn’t good enough for me, and it seemed like nothing I could say would change your mind.”
“I guess I might have rushed to conclusions…”
“You did.”
“Well, congratulations, honey,” She sounded genuinely happy, not as jazzed as the imminent arrival of another grandson, but happy enough it had you taken aback. “This is exciting! I hadn’t realized things had gotten so serious between you two. Have you picked out a date for the wedding?”
To say you felt thrown off kilter from the complete one-eighty she just made on her views of your relationship would be putting it mildly; you thought there was a chance you were in the Twilight Zone with how bizarre this reaction was.
Did you actually convince her of Javi’s worthiness?
That didn’t seem right…
“Um, no?” you answered.
“I’ll call the wedding planner who helped plan your brother’s, and don’t worry about the cost, we’ll take care of it, along with the wedding itself—we’ll have to look at venues in your town that can hold at least, I think, one hundred and fifty guests, maybe? I’ll also have Jerry—” The family lawyer. “—get a prenup together—I’ll bring him with me.” Uh, what was happening? “Let me look at the calendar.” Pages flipping could be heard over the phone, and you knew she was going through her daily planner. “Your father and I have prior engagements over the next month and a half, but I could visit in February with the wedding planner and Jerry to get started on everything.”
The thought of her visiting had you feeling sick to your stomach, the anxiety hitting you like a bucket of cold water over your head.
“Woah, woah, hold on a second,” you said. “We’re not having a big wedding, so there’s no need for a wedding planner. We’re not doing a prenup, either, so Jerry doesn’t need to be bothered, and we want to get married sometime next month.”
“I won’t sour our conversation with legal talk, so I’ll discuss it with you later—you want to get married that soon?” There was a frown in her voice. "I told you we’re booked next month... We wouldn’t be able to make it…”
“We’re not doing much of a traditional wedding anyway, so you won’t miss much. We can send you a copy of the video—” Javi was planning on buying a camcorder to record your nuptials and other erotic things. “—and maybe in February we could visit you.” That was something you didn’t particularly want to do, but her change in attitude and desire to help seemed like she was extending an olive branch for all of the hurtful things she had said about your future husband.
“That would be fine. We’re dying to meet this man you’re in love with.”
Your eyes narrowed. “The one you didn’t approve of five minutes ago…?”
“You gave me a lot to think about in those five minutes, and I’m doing as you said and accepting that he’s going to be my son-in-law. Am I not allowed to change my opinion of someone?”
“Sure, you can change your opinion. You’re really okay with me marrying him?”
“Yes, sweetie.”
A knock sounded on the on-call room’s door, Robyn’s voice coming from the other side, “Hey, I need you out here.”
“I’m sorry, Mom, but my break’s over, and I need to get back. I’ll talk to you later.”
“No problem. Have a great day, and tell Javier hi from me.”
That will freak him out.
You said your goodbyes and hung up the phone, getting up to walk over and open the door.
Robyn was standing there. “How’d it go?” she asked.
“That’s the thing, Robyn, I think it went well, and I’m so fucking confused—I think my mom might even like Javi a little bit now.”
Shock appeared on her face. “Um, what…?”
“Makes zero sense, right?”
“Yeah… You need to call Javi?”
She was the best.
“Would you mind?”
“Nope! I’ll hold down the fort.”
“Thank you!”
This time, when you sat down to use the hospital-provided telephone, you dialed your fiancé’s desk phone from memory.
Ring.
“Peña,” he answered.
“Has hell frozen over?” you asked.
“Cielito?” He was clearly confused.
“Yes, it’s me—let’s focus. Has hell frozen over?”
“Uh, I don’t think so?”
“Are pigs flying?” You heard him roll back in his chair and the rustle of him looking through his office window’s blinds.
“I don’t see any pigs with wings, but that Sheriff’s deputy whose wife won’t let him have red meat so he can lower his cholesterol is in his car eating a burger with the same enthusiasm I have when I eat your pussy.”
“Guy is truly eating it like a man starved—respect. ¿Están volando las vacas (Are the cows flying)?”
“No veo a Daphne ni a Velma en el cielo (I don’t see Daphne or Velma in the sky).” He rolled back to his desk. “¿Qué pasa, mi amor (What’s going on, my love)?”
“I talked to my mom…”
“…are you okay?”
“Um, sure.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
He was starting to hang up the phone, and you quickly said, “Javi, no, no! Don’t leave!”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “It wouldn’t be a problem.”
“It’s really okay—I’m gonna see you at lunch.”
The plan was to eat the lunches you made together in his truck.
“Okay.” His tone went serious. “Tell me what happened.”
“I called her like she asked, and she confirmed my sister-in-law is with child and talk about the excitement over a fetus having male genitals.”
“Of course, they’re fucking excited it’s a boy, the misogynistic assholes,” he seethed.
“I am so unbelievably in love with you—I know you’d love having a baby girl and getting to dress her up in pretty dresses.”
“God, yeah.” You didn’t have to see his face to know he was smiling. “And giving her cute hairdos and I could paint her nails to match her dresses—wait, we’re getting distracted. Did the news upset you? I really feel like I should come down there...”
“I promise I’m fine, babe.”
“I don’t like that I’m not there for you in person…” He sighed. “Was that all your mother wanted to talk to you about?”
“This next part is really gonna piss you off, so please take a big breath for me, my love.”
You heard him inhale deeply.
“Tell me,” he ordered.
“My parents, or father specifically, offered me a job that a person would be insane to turn down to get me to move back home—I didn’t even contemplate for a second about taking it and proceeded to inform her about us getting married and starting our family, then went off about how amazing you are and that this is my home and I wouldn’t be leaving it. I made it very clear that you are the most important person to me, and if they couldn’t accept you as my husband, then I wanted nothing to do with them.”
“…If you want the job, we can move there,” he said carefully.
You smiled. “That’s sweet of you to offer, but I can’t fathom moving away from our family here, especially your dad. This is our home, and I’m happy with the life we have. So, I don’t care about some fancy schmancy job.”
“Promise?”
“Pinky promise.”
He let out a relieved sigh before he started speaking again, his words soaked in anger, “They hate me so fucking much they tried to give you an offer you couldn’t refuse, so you’d leave me? Are you fucking kidding me? I’m sorry, baby, but I can’t fucking stand these people you share blood with—they don’t even fucking deserve to be called your family with how they disrespect you and don’t give a flying fuck about your happiness.” He had to take another big breath to try to calm his rage. “I might sound like an asshole, but I don’t want them around our kids, and this isn’t me putting my foot down or saying that’s how it has to be; I’m saying that our children’s well-being is my first priority, and these assholes are nothing but poison,” he spat. “I’ll support you if you decide to cut ties with them—hell, I’d love it since it makes me so fucking angry how they’ve treated you and continue to treat you. We’ve got our family here, anyway; Pop and all our tías, tíos, and primos, so you don’t even need those fuckers.” His tone shifted to something softer, hearing in it how much he cared for you. “Cielito, mi amor, all I want is for you to be happy and to feel loved, and I will do everything in my power to make that happen—please, for me, when you decide what to do, you choose what makes you happiest; not what would make me happy and definitely don’t even think about their feelings because they’ve never done the same for you. I’ll stand by you no matter what.”
What he said had your eyes getting misty. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. More than anything.”
And you knew that was the truth.
“I didn’t tell you the whole story,” you said, “and this is where I get confused about the entire interaction.”
“What happened…?”
“So, I kinda bragged about how much of a hot shot you are in the drug enforcement community and that you make decent money, and I think I somehow made my mom like you? I know it sounds fake, but Javi, she wanted to hire us a wedding planner and pay for the whole event that she was going to invite a hundred and fifty people to…”
You left out the lawyer bit because you were going to nip that in the bud when she got around to talking to you about it.
“Uh, what…?”
“It was fucking weird, babe! She even told me to tell you hi when we were getting off the phone!”
“Me? Are you sure…?”
“Yeah! It makes zero fucking sense. Our conversation started with her basically telling me my life decisions were trash and that there’s nothing in Laredo worth staying for—she actually said she was happy I hadn’t accidentally gotten pregnant. Like, that’s so fucking rude. Then her tone had completely changed by the end of the call, and she was pro-you and pro-us getting married.”
“Interesting…” You could picture him sitting at his desk, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip while we pieced together the information you’d given him and analyzed it for any indication of more going on.
“Are your Detective Peña senses tingling?” you asked. “Do you think they’re up to something?”
“I’m not sure… But I could just be paranoid about people trying to fuck with our relationship.”
“Oh god, what if we are being paranoid and overthinking this entire thing? We might be looking a gift horse in the mouth, and my family really has warmed up to you.”
He scoffed, “Tal vez cuando las vacas vuelen (Maybe when cows fly),” he muttered. “It seems too good to be true,” he said. “But, there’s a chance hell did freeze over, and Daphne and Velma grew wings.” He sighed. “My hopes aren’t very high, though; at this point, all we can do is see what happens.” He suddenly sounded panicked, “Cariño, ¿los invitaste a nuestra boda (Honey, did you invite them to our wedding)? ¿Tendré que conocerlos en persona (Will I have to meet them in person)?”
Javier Peña had a cute face, a cute face that naturally looked pissed off when it was resting and showed everything he was feeling. There was no doubt that in the presence of your family, his glares would be murderous, and he wouldn’t be able to hide his anger—which, honestly, delighted you. But you hated the idea of them coming to the place you called home and was your haven away from them, so you were never going to invite them to visit; if you had to, you’d go to them.
“Cálmate, mi amor (Calm down, my love),” you said. “No te preocupes (Don’t worry). I didn’t invite them, and I don’t even want them coming here. I did have to say we might visit them in a couple of months to keep them happy—I’m also gonna send my parents that blender my mother wants but refuses to buy because the one they have still works for Christmas. Hopefully, all that will tide them over for a while so we can figure out if their new attitude is legit or not.”
“Good idea.”
“Well, I better get back to work. I’ll see you at lunch.”
“Yes, you will. If you need me to get your mind off all this shit, just let me know. It’d take us about the same amount of time to meet at home…”
His offer made you smile. “Javier, is this your way of saying you’d like a nooner?”
“Maybe… I’m on edge and need to calm my nerves, and the best ways to do that is either having a cigarette or fucking—I’m sure you can guess my preference, but it wouldn’t be a big deal if I bummed a smoke off someone.”
“You’re in need of a medicinal cream pie,” you said in understanding, nodding your head. “I am also on edge and could use a medicinal orgasm or two. I’ll see you at the apartment, handsome, and the suit stays on—I’m riding Detective Peña into the sunset.”
You could hear his smile when he spoke. “Is that so?”
“Yep—you’ve been staring at my tits a lot lately, and I thought you’d enjoy them bouncing in your face.”
His groan confirmed your suspicion. “Minimum of two orgasms, keep the suit on, and you’re riding me on the couch—anything I’m missing?”
“Yeah, you coming inside me so I can go back to work all nice and stuffed.”
“Marry me.”
“I am,” you giggled. “We need to figure out a date.”
“January 11. Under the big oak tree on Pop’s land at sunset—that’s when we should do it.”
“Why the eleventh?” you asked, curious about why that date specifically.
“You agreed to be my girlfriend on the eleventh. You agreed to be my fiancée on the eleventh. It only seems right that I vow to love you forever on the eleventh of the New Year and hope you agree to be my wife then—Cielito, mi amor, mi vida mi media naranja, mi todo, (Cielito, my love, my life, my soulmate, my everything), will you marry me in twenty-eight days on January 11?”
Tears brimmed your eyes. “Yes, Javi! Absolutely, yes—it’s perfect.”
“Not as perfect as you,” he smoothly replied.
“You’re a sap.”
“—and your perfect tits.”
“A horny sap,” you laughed.
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sashi-ya · 7 months
Text
東京 NIGHTS mini event
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𝑰'𝑳𝑳 𝑩𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑰𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𓂃 ࣪˖ okkotsu yuuta x fem! reader
⤹˚ synopsis. some years have passed since the incident; he moved overseas, you stayed... however, you never forgot, and you always waited
requested by: Anon ➡ hi sash, I saw you love Yuta so can I ask for our sweet boy with a fem! reader and the prompt "meet me at Hachiko statue in 3 yeas"? thank you! tw: sfw. sweet, romantic. fluffy. based on Hachiko's and his story. there might be a second part of this story, with 18+ cont. You can tell me if you want me to post it ~ wc: 1.4k masterlist
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“Meet me three years from now at the Hachiko Statue” “Shibuya? Again?”
Three years have passed, the incident left your hearts barely hanging from the tiny strings of an undeveloped love.
Waiting, day after day. Night after night.
A light rain plays a soft melody against the transparent surface of your umbrella. Your lips tremble, even if you fight for your façade to look as serious as possible. The doors of the subway station feel like the holy tori of a sanctuary; after all that happened some years ago, looking at the “to Shibuya” signs still makes you dizzy.
You watch youngsters coming back from school, other enjoying themselves as they probably get ready to visit karaoke bars tonight. And you remember that you used to be exactly the same as them… even if from the corner of your eye, creatures of many different types appeared to make you late.
This time, however, there was no creature. No curse. No ghost. But only the feeling of what once happened there. How many of you have lost much more than what you could remember…
You check your phone; no message from Okkotsu still. Will he be there? At least, is he in Tokyo at all?
You swallow and swipe the card on the ticket gate; the “beep” allows you to keep walking, but the sound of your heart beating fast covers it all. Soon enough, the subway train arrives perfectly in time, and letting other people go in first, you find a seat waiting just for you.
Once again, you check your phone. Nothing.
“He is not coming, why am I doing this? he probably forgot about me and this, and I can’t blame him…”
Sweaty palms make your phone get steam marks on its screen, but you don’t mind. Your leg bounces softly, the music in your earphones have absolutely no importance to you right now.
You close your eyes, wondering how he looks like now. Does he still have those dark beautiful circles under his eyes? The little reddish hint that always made him look as he had just stopped crying? The blackest messy hair, or maybe his narrow frame… “I just hope you haven’t forget about me, even if you don’t come”  
It takes very little for the subway to finally reach Shibuya station. Or maybe it was just you lost in time, that you didn’t notice.
As you walk up the stairs of infinite steps, you begin to feel the soft breeze of the busiest crosswalk in the world. It cools off your cheeks, already burning because Yuuta has always been your secret crush.
The rain has stopped, and there are just some pools on the ground reflecting the neon lights of the newly reconstructed Shibuya… this place used to look a lot different a few years ago.
The beat of the traffic lights sounds synchronize with your heart beating; the laughter of young people, the imagery of couples joining after work, the memories of painful and bloody happenings… everything surrounds you, turning your quivering legs a lot more weak than before.
You check your phone one last time before crossing; you need to get to the statue of Hachiko. That was your meeting point. Such a curious choice you had; Hachiko waited for his owner at the station until he died, because he knew one day he would come back…
As you cross, your eyes scan for the place. Looking at the faces of every man you could find, your disappointment grows bigger and bigger. None of them are him; none of them will be either.
You decide to wait for 10 minutes. Nothing more. Nothing less.
A few tourists stop you once you get to the statue, distracting you. They need to know their way to a certain restaurant, so you take your time to help them. But when they are finally gone, you are back to your loneliness.
“I’m going to check my phone one last time…” you think; unblocking your device. Nothing; again. “Yes, you are not coming… I hope you are fine, Yuuta” you whisper, low enough just for you to hear it.
With your head lowered, defeated, you begin to walk away. The rain has started to fall again, but you don’t even care to open your umbrella. It’s ok if your hair gets wet. It’s ok if your make up fades.
You wait at the traffic light to turn to green, you only want to hop on the station of your nightmares to go back home. Once and for all.
As the mass begins to move, and you put a foot on the street, something catches your attention.
A big bouquet of purple flowers covers the face of a tall man asking to forgive him while he opens his way through the crowd.
“Ah… lucky girl. Late but at least with such a big bouquet…” you smile, with your eyes turning a little shiny from incipient tears.
“(Name)!!” he screams, the moment that flower man reaches you. He bumps into you with the flowers, and he has yelled your name. You blink repeatedly, only looking at the hand holding the bouquet. A silver ring shines on his hand, and it makes you shiver…
There, right in the middle of Shibuya cross, under now a pouring rain, the shy face of a man sprouts from in between beautiful purple flowers.
“(Name)! My flight was delayed, but I wanted to buy you this before I came. I’m sorry, I am so happy you didn’t leave” he chimes, with a soft smile that hasn’t changed. He is a man now, stronger, taller, mature… but Yuuta is still the softest little boy you once met at the academy.
Your lower lip shakes like a leaf, and the tears start going down your cheeks. Maybe the rest won’t notice because of the rain, but Yuuta does. You can’t speak, no words come out of your mouth.
Violently crying now, you let yourself fall into his arms. The bouquet hangs from his hand to the side, while you nuzzle on the crook of his neck.
“(Name), don’t cry! I am here! are you ok?!!” he desperately asks, hugging you hard against his chest.
You sniffle and nod, inhaling his sweet perfume. Another thing that hasn’t changed a bit; his skin scent has always been the same. Even if the times you were able to enjoy it were barely twice, you can’t forget it.
“I… I thought you had forgotten” you murmur, as both walk hugging back to the sidewalk.
“Wh-what? I’ve been counting the days to see you again” he whispers, with his lips resting on the crown of your head. “How could I forget? I missed you so much”
You look up searching for his eyes, a sweet beam garnishes your face. He still has those dark circles; he still has that enchanting pouty lips. “You haven’t changed a bit, Yuta…” you whisper, allowing the warmth of his embrace to protect you from anything around.
He giggles, that pure laughter that makes you melt. “And here I thought I was getting older… you did, however, change (Name)…” he says, kissing your forehead after.
You gasp, the old Yuuta would have had a stroke before even kissing you. Or at least his cheeks would have become as red as tomatoes – to say the least.
“You look even more beautiful than before” he finishes, leaving you absolutely breathless.
You swiftly look around him; you don’t want to get killed by Rika. Once you positively check you are safe, you stretch your neck to reach for his lips.
Your mouth lingers closer to his, so close they can even touch but not quite yet. The warmth of his breath caressing your lips, yours doing the same thing to his. Maybe you just wait for him to kiss you, or maybe both want to enjoy the little previous moments of something that you’ve been waiting even before than you two met for the very first time.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks, taking his hand to your cheek. The soft caress, the cold touch of the ring grazing your skin… please do…
You nod, pouting just enough to meet his crashing lips. Both closed your eyes just when your eyes could see into each other’s, just when it was time to feel rather than see…
Your first kiss, and then another, and another. And the tourists taking pictures, because what’s more beautiful than a couple joining after years right by the statue of Hachiko who waited only moved by pure love?  💖
521 notes · View notes
roosterforme · 8 months
Text
Always Ever Only You Part 15 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley had some explaining to do. After the most perfect weekend, you were afraid he was trying to hide information from you again. But Bradley didn't hold back when he told you what happened and what he was concerned about. 
Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff, smut, mentions of cancer
Length: 4600 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32
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Your hands were shaky as you tried to call Bradley. You didn't understand what was going on, and you were pissed off that the first time you were hearing about him being involved with two people who were being court-martialed was through an email. You hated calling him when there was a chance he was in the air, but if that was the case, then his phone should be off.
Just as you were about to tap his contact in your phone, Bickel came rushing into the lab, arms full of folders. "Delete that email," he told you, out of breath. "The one from Yates. You weren't supposed to see it."
You looked up at him as you slid your phone down onto the counter. "Well, I did see it, sir," you whispered. "I don't even know what's going on."
"Neither do I," he responded gently, setting the folders down in a haphazard pile. "But I don't want your login credentials attached to this in any way. Whatever happened should stay out of your hands since your husband was involved with the special detachment. I'll take care of it. Understand?"
You started to nod, and then you said, "But, sir. Why am I getting emails from Admiral Yates?"
Your boss sighed and checked his watch. He looked frantic, and now you were really getting nervous for whatever must have happened during Bradley's deployment. But Bickel's words and the way he smiled kindly at you even though you could tell he was stressed out meant a lot.
"Because if you haven't noticed, you're second in command around here. Maybe not officially. Yet. But I rely on you for a lot of things, and everyone else in the group does, too. And your work is always spot on."
You felt tears prickle behind your eyes, and you had to look away from him as you muttered, "Thank you." But of course your eyes settled back on your computer screen and the email. 
"Delete the email," he repeated, and you knew he wasn't going to say it kindly a third time. So you did as your commanding officer told you to and watched the email soar into your trash can, and from there you deleted it permanently. "I'll take care of it myself so you know it's done correctly. I will pull the comms and verify the coding so you don't have to question whether or not the information being sent over has been properly validated. I don't want you worrying about this right now."
"But you'll need someone else to verify everything with you, sir," you whispered.
He nodded and closed your computer softly. "I'm just on my way to talk to Lieutenant Coleman about it. She's more than competent. She and I can sign off on it and get it ready tonight. You're dismissed for the day."
And that was it. Not another word. He picked up the folders and walked over to where Cat was sitting in front of her computer wearing the expensive headphones that were used to occasionally play back communications and check aircrafts for audio clarity. And Bickel interrupted her. It was kind of an unspoken rule that you didn't interrupt someone who was wearing the state of the art headphones. 
Cat jumped in her seat before giving Bickel her full attention. After a few seconds, her eyes met yours, and then she agreed with whatever he was telling her. You quietly stood and picked up your computer and headed for your office. 
You were the only one in your group with a private office other than Commander Bickel himself. Sure, yours was roughly a quarter of the size of his, and it had a view of the parking lot and a brick wall, but it was yours. And you were his number two. You really wanted to be able to enjoy that fact, but you'd been dismissed. Probably so he could talk about the court-martialing. And you figured that by now, Bradley would be wrapped up in these proceedings as well. 
You shoved all your stuff into your desk drawer and grabbed your keys. This morning had started off so beautifully: making out with your husband followed by an overpriced drink from Starbucks that he made sure was ready for you to pick up. 
When you opened your door to leave, Cat was standing there about to knock. "Yes?" you asked her, feeling like everyone must know what was going on now besides you.
"I just wanted to catch you before you left," she replied slowly. "I read the email from Yates. I promise I'll double and triple check everything even if I'm here all night."
"Thanks," you whispered, hoping you could trust her with this. You felt like somehow Bradley's integrity was tied to that audio.
Cat fiddled with her hands as she said, "It's my job, but you're also my friend." And then she turned on her heel and walked away so quickly, you couldn't really respond if you wanted to.
When you stumbled out of the elevator in the lobby, Jake was right there. "Have you seen Bradley?" you asked him, but he gathered you up in his arms and started to dance and spin you around in front of the main entrance. 
"Sure haven't. He's been locked away with Maverick all afternoon. Phoenix and Bob, too," he replied easily. "But guess who's going out with Cat tonight. Just take one guess, Angel."
"Oh," you gasped as he dipped you. Then you pressed your lips together, afraid to tell him that Cat and Commander Bickel would probably be verifying codes for the next several hours at least. 
He pulled you back to standing as he said, "Hang on, that's my phone." Jake pulled it out of his pocket and read the text message he received. "Shit. Cat cancelled on me."
"Jake-" But you stopped. You knew you shouldn't be talking about the special mission apparently gone wrong, but he looked so disappointed. He'd been wanting to go on an actual date with her for months, not just making out in the rec room. 
When he spoke, his voice was bland and monotone. "She's blaming it on working late. Meanwhile it looks like you're leaving early, so I'm not buying it." Then he laughed sardonically. "I was going to take her to a movie tonight, and then on Friday I was hoping Jeremiah could tag along on another date. I found a kid-friendly restaurant for dinner."
When you reached for his hand, he just shook his head. "Jake. Don't get upset with her, okay?"
He ran his hand through his hair as he walked away. "I need to get back to the hanger. Later, Angel."
You hated today. You wanted answers, and then you wanted to go to bed. And it annoyed you that you still wanted Bradley to read you to sleep from his notebook when he was the one who hadn't given you any details about his deployment, even though you had asked. Multiple times. 
When you pulled your car into the driveway, you realized Bradley wouldn't be home for at least an hour. You wanted to act normal about this and start making dinner or doing something productive, but you were starting to wonder if he was hiding information from you again, just like the sperm test results. And that was enough to make you lose your appetite. You hurried inside, and Tramp followed you to the couch where you sat and took some deep breaths. The realization that you should have just stayed on base and had a discussion with Dr. Genevieve washed over you, and you were afraid you were going to cry.
You wrapped your arms around Tramp and waited, and it actually didn't feel like too much time had passed when you heard the Bronco pull into the driveway. When the front door opened, Bradley looked surprised to see you.
"You're home," he said softly, closing the door behind him. When you just nodded and clung to Tramp, Bradley pressed his lips together. "I take it you heard about the....mishap?"
"Mishap?" you asked, finally scrambling to your feet as Tramp ran to Bradley. "That's what you're calling it? All I know is that I asked you all weekend to tell me about your deployment, but you didn't. And then today I got an email with your name and credentials listed underneath a docket number for two officers who are being court martialed."
Bradley bent to pet Tramp without taking his eyes off yours. "You're right. You did ask me several times, but Sweetheart, the weekend was so perfect. I didn't want to ruin it by talking about work."
You rubbed the heels of your hands against your eyes. "You were gone for eight weeks, Bradley. That's not the same as discussing a regular day at work. And clearly something absolutely insane happened! What are you trying to hide from me now?"
The rosy pink of his cheeks faded away as a look of pure panic filled his handsome features. "Nothing. There's nothing to hide. I just thought we'd talk about it today. I had no idea everything was going to blow up like it did."
You threw your hands up in the air, and you hated how shrill your voice sounded. "Is everything even okay?"
"Yes," he insisted, closing the distance to you and wrapping his arms around your body, enveloping you in his warmth. "Everyone who left the carrier deck made it back to the carrier deck."
Apparently you'd been holding your breath, because you were finally able to let it out. "Good," you whispered, burying your face in his neck. "That email made me feel physically sick."
"I'm sorry, Baby Girl," Bradley rasped next to your ear before kissing your temple. "If I knew everything was going to happen so fast, I would have taken some time out of the weekend to talk about it. But being back home with you and spending time as just us was really the only thing on my agenda."
You didn't stop him when he guided you toward the bedroom and started to unbutton and unzip you out of your uniform. And you let him pull his UVA shirt over your head and guide you into bed. And then you watched him strip down to his underwear before he picked up Tramp and climbed in with you. "Here's what happened," he said, pulling you close.
---------------------------
Bradley felt a little awkward detailing what went down in the air with Slayer for you. It was an odd thing to recount it to someone who wasn't an aviator, but you just held him tight and asked questions when you needed clarification. But the way you gasped when Bradley told you he was the spare made him feel somewhat validated. 
"The spare? This Admiral Dean asshole named you the spare?" You went shooting up in the bed, indignation flashing in your eyes as you pointed at him. "You're not the spare! You're the main event. You'd never treat a mission like it was your own little game where other people's lives didn't fucking count for anything!"
Bradley could tell he was blushing as he said, "Nat and Bob were directly in danger when I got called to the catapult." 
Now you were standing on your knees looking straight up furious. "What did you do?!"
He ran his hand along his mustache and whispered, "I just... dealt with it. I don't know. You know I don't like talking about air to air kills. Nat and Bob were leaking fuel to the point where I was convinced they wouldn't even make it out over the water before they had to eject. But Nat managed to land it on deck in spite of full engine failure."
"Full engine failure?!"
"Yes."
"And all of this happened because this Slayer person went way off course to attend his own rodeo or something?"
Bradley laughed in spite of himself. "Yes."
"Right. Right," you said, even though it sounded like you thought it was all very wrong. "And this Slayer child was allowed to be the fucking team leader because of Admiral Dean?"
"Yes."
You just shook your head at him, standing there on your knees with your hands on your hips. "A court-martial is too good for these fuckers," you said, your voice breaking as you lunged for him. 
Bradley caught you in his arms as you burst into tears. "Don't cry. Everyone is fine."
But you were shaking in his arms as you tightened your hold on him. "I could have lost you, Roo... and like, I just know there was at least a small part of you that thought I didn't want this."
He kissed your cheek and whispered, "I knew you loved me. I knew my ring was safe with you. That was enough."
You pulled away from where you'd had your face pressed to the side of his neck. Tears were welling up in your eyes before sliding down your cheeks. "No, that's not enough. I love you more than anything. And you deserve to hear me say that to you."
Bradley gently rolled you onto your back and let his cheek rest on your shoulder as you cried. He wrapped one arm around your middle and tried not to crush you with his weight as you threaded your fingers through his hair. It felt so good, the way you were touching him and crying for him. "I'm right here," he told you, and eventually your breathing evened out. 
"I can't believe spending the weekend in the bathtub with me was more important to you than getting all of that off your chest."
"Spending a weekend in the bathtub with you is more important than literally anything else I can think of," he promised, happy to hear you laugh. "But if we're being honest here, Sweetheart, when I got passed over for the mission and named as the spare instead... I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that I'm probably on the back end of my career as a pilot."
You were silent for a beat, but when you spoke, your fingers were still soft in his hair. "Who named the teams?"
"Admiral Dean."
"And have we not established that he's a mindless idiot who favors the aviators from Lemoore over everyone else?"
Bradley hadn't really considered that the hit to his ego and career should have been taken with a grain of salt. Perhaps there was something to be said for who was in charge of the mission details. "I'm still the oldest one around, compared to everyone at Top Gun and everyone from Lemoore," he murmured. 
"Older, sure," you whispered. "But you're also more experienced. And more patient. And smarter. And you were able to tolerate being named the spare without throwing a fit. You're not on the back end of your career. Maybe it will take a different shape, but it's not ending."
Without another word, Bradley fell asleep on you while he thought about what flying meant to him, your touch calming him enough to do that without panicking.
-----------------------
You were so hungry now that Bradley told you what had happened. Your stomach was starting to growl, and you realized that you hadn't actually started anything for dinner. But Bradley was still dozing on you an hour later, his arm heavy across your belly where you pressed your fingers to the ink of his tattoo. 
He must have been exhausted, dealing with all of this nonsense during his deployment and traveling across so many time zones. And yet he had made you feel so important all weekend, even attempting to make you breakfast. Giving you his undivided attention. Making love to you exactly how you needed it. 
When he eventually started to stir, you felt bad that you didn't have anything ready for him to eat. He looked up at you, slowly easing himself into a push up position above you. "Sorry...how long was I out?" he rasped, grunting as he bent his elbows until his lips met yours.
"More than an hour," you whispered as he kissed you over and over again. "You must be exhausted."
"Nah, I feel great," he promised, climbing out of bed and pulling you with him. "Want me to make you some toast?"
"Please don't. I was thinking of just ordering something since I didn't get anything ready to cook." You briefly thought about Cat and Bickel and wondered if they were still working right now.
"Let's get a pizza," Bradley said, grabbing his phone. "It's easy and Tramp loves when you feed him the crusts."
Later, when you sat down on Bradley's lap with a slice of pizza in your hand, you laughed as Tramp sat on the floor begging. You tore off a piece of the crust for him while Bradley inhaled two slices stacked one on top of the other. You were just about to ask him if he'd read some more of his notebook to you when he reached for a third piece. 
"Was thinking," he said between bites. "How about a bath before bed? And since you let me nap earlier, I could read until you fall asleep?"
You felt like you were on your honeymoon again where everything you did together just made sense. "You read my mind." And there was just something so good about his voice right now. Whether it was him sitting behind you in the tub or fucking you on the bathmat or leading you to the shower to get you cleaned up a second time, his voice in your ear was exactly what you needed. 
"We do some of our best work in the bathroom," he whispered, thrusting into you slowly as your towel unraveled from around you. 
"You say that about every room," you reminded him, letting him spread your legs wider as he nipped at your breasts. 
"Only because it's true, Sweetheart."
You giggled in the shower, because fifteen minutes ago you'd been clean and then he came inside you. But you were yawning non stop by the time you climbed back into bed. You could barely keep your eyes open as Bradley picked up his notebook and opened it to a page you hadn't heard him read yet. 
He wrapped one strong arm around you and cleared his throat. "Promise you won't get upset?" he asked you, holding the notebook just far enough away that you couldn't read it without your contacts or glasses.
"I mean, did you like write something really mean about me?" you asked, squinting. 
"No," he said with a laugh. "But it's a full page about all the shit I do that I hate."
"I won't get mad, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with any of it."
He responded by clearing his throat again and reading.
"I was never planning on being married to someone. That's exhausting, right? Way too much responsibility. What if they decide they hate you and leave one day? Or die of cancer? Or what if I burn in? What are you even supposed to do then? 
In an effort not to turn into either of my parents, I think I just gave up on the idea. My mom's engagement ring took up residence in a cardboard box in a storage unit for almost twenty years. I don't think I thought about it more than a handful of times, only occasionally remembering how pretty it looked when she wore it outside in the sunshine. 
And then I met a woman, and suddenly the fact that I didn't know the exact location of that ring was very unsettling to me. Was it in a box with photos, pushed all the way against the back wall? Was it in a smaller box with my dad's diploma from the Naval Academy? Which box was it in?
These thoughts alternated between being paramount to my very existence and also quite laughable. She wouldn't want to marry me. I'd only known her a few weeks. She was perfect. Beautiful. Funny. Smarter than everyone else. 
I second guessed myself even more than usual. And then the most peculiar thing happened. She accepted the ring right out of the cardboard box, and then she married me. 
But I haven't been good enough. 
And that is a fact that is worse than all my worst fears. It's worse than burning in. It's worse than dying of cancer. It's worse than being left behind. I can't stand the fact that she's too hard on herself because of me. That's fucked up. It makes me feel gross. I don't want a baby more than I want my wife. I just want my wife. I want her right now. I wanted her yesterday. I am going to want her tomorrow. 
But two weeks ago when I made her think I didn't, that was probably the worst thing I've ever done. Because it didn't even occur to me how much I was fucking up. Congratulations, you failed. Stop doing it. Be better. If you even get another chance."
When Bradley turned his head to see if you were still awake, you whispered, "I didn't like that page as much as the others."
"I figured you wouldn't." 
There were a million things you wanted to say to make him feel better. Share the blame for what happened. But he was proving to you that he had nothing to hide, and he was reading back his candid thoughts. And you never wanted him to stop. So you just kissed his neck and said, "Thanks for reading it to me. But now I want you to read my favorite page again." 
He flipped back to find it, and you were asleep after about five words. 
Your alarm for work came too early considering how cozy you felt in bed. If you could live in this moment a little longer, you gladly would. You felt warm and safe, and Bradley's first words of the day made you laugh. "I'll order you another overpriced coffee, but your new French press should be here today."
When you walked into the lab with your iced latte to find that Cat was the only person there, you gave her an awkward, "Good morning."
"Hi," she replied, stifling a yawn. She looked exhausted.
"How late were you here?" you asked her, feeling terrible that you weren't the one to put in all the extra hours. 
She eyed you hesitantly. "Pretty late. Bickel told me I could come in at lunchtime today, but I didn't want to leave you hanging out to dry with the proposals from Annapolis."
"Thanks," you whispered. But then your heart rate picked up a little bit as you thought about what happened to Bradley. You blurted out, "I need to know what was in that audio."
Cat was instantly shaking her head. "You can't listen to it. Bickel said he doesn't want your login credentials anywhere near it. Could be a massive conflict of interest if you handled it in any way."
You looked down at your boots. "What was it like?" 
She was silent for so long, you were afraid she wasn't going to tell you anything. When you turned toward your seat, she said, "It was hard to listen to. Your husband is a good person."
You kept your eyes on your workstation. "He didn't even tell me anything about it until last night."
"He didn't come running home from his deployment and tell you that he's actually a hero? Again? Bickel told me he seems to have a good head on his shoulders."
"No," you whispered, closing your eyes. "He came home and told me we'd talk about it later, because he missed me too much. And then he was good to me all weekend." Good was an understatement. But you did miss your French press.
"You know," Cat replied with a smile in her voice, "it is really hard not to hate you."
You turned to look at her over your shoulder. Maybe she figured you knew about Jake, and maybe she didn't, but you said, "You should reschedule your movie date."
The smile was gone from her face and her voice. "I think yesterday was a wakeup call. And canceling on Jake was probably in my best interest after all. I don't know what I was thinking when-"
"Stop making poor decisions," you snapped. "He found a kid-friendly restaurant, for fuck's sake. What more could you possibly want in a guy?"
"Nothing," she whispered. 
Then you plugged your computer in and said, "Thank you for telling me about the comms. And thank you for staying late. And thank you for not leaving me alone to finish the proposals today. But for the love of god, Cat, reschedule the movie, okay?"
---------------------------
Bradley was expecting you to meet him for lunch in the cafeteria. He even managed to secure the table where you and he were sitting the first time he asked you out. Which was just going to be the cherry on top of his plans for the day. 
Mav let him read the official court-martial documentation along with Nat and Bob. And then he had taken the time to write an official statement. And in about a month, he'd have to appear as a witness to what happened. The sad part was, it all seemed very cut and dry since this wasn't the first time Admiral Dean had shown unjust favoritism. Maybe you were on to something about why Bradley had been selected as the spare.
He heard your laugh before he saw you. It was that beautiful, overjoyed sound that was usually reserved just for him. In fact, he heard it last night when he had you underneath him on the bathroom floor, running his mustache along your pristine skin. But right now you had it aimed at his best friend, and he didn't really mind. You were hugging Nat like you were afraid she was going to vanish into thin air, and when you released her, Bradley watched you press a kiss to Bob's cheek before hugging him just as tight. Your cheek was pressed to Bob's chest when you met Bradley's gaze from a few tables away, and you smiled at him. Then you were headed his way.
"I got you a burrito bowl," he said, even though you could plainly see he had two on his tray. And instead of sitting down across from him, you took the chair right next to his and wrapped your hands around his bicep. 
"Roo, do you want to go up to the hot sauce restaurant after work on Friday? Maybe recreate our first date? But instead of me not giving you a handjob on the pier, I totally could."
Bradley's jaw dropped. You somehow read his mind. You took his idea about getting back to basics in your relationship and made it both romantic and also horny enough that he felt a little uncomfortable in his uniform pants. And you had the nerve to sit there and look sweet and innocent as you squeezed a little packet of hot sauce onto your lunch. 
"I was going to suggest the same thing," he rasped softly. "Minus the handjob. But I'm definitely down for the inclusion of the handjob."
You just smiled at him as you took a bite of your lunch, and your hand came to rest on his thigh. This was going to be a long week.
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Need that first date reenactment to happen. And I love how the notebook has become a bedtime staple for them. Thanks to @beyondthesefourwalls and @mak-32
PART 16
@hotch-meeeeeuppppp
@chassy21
@solacestyles
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@daisyhollyxox
@throwinsauce
@awesomebooklover17
@wintercap89
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@bcon24
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@katiebby04
@marantha
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@little-wiseone
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@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o
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@fanboyswhore9
@xomrsalliej4787xo
@desert-fern
@sylviebell
@wkndwlff
@horseslovers2016
532 notes · View notes
ribread03 · 2 months
Text
Shower. c.sturniolo
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You and Chris decide to take a shower together after you've had a long day with the "pampering" of his fans.
warnings: slight depression, overthinking, getting threats (small tho), breaking down (crying), just being sad overall, showering together, kissing, lots of fluff
use of y/n, babe, love, ma
WC:1651
AN: just thought of this while in the shower so I'ma write it real quick while I'm still thinking about it lol. there isn't that much dialog
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Pulling up into the driveway of yours and Chris' house that you share with his brothers you sigh, not expecting what to walk in on. you've already had a long day at work and you just want to get into the shower and relax in bed.
When you walk into the house you hear screaming and what sounded like a fork being thrown across the room. You take a deep breath and walk farther into the house not expecting to see Chris, Matt, and Nick all sharing a drink. You stand there and smile to yourself from behind the camera.
Your relationship with Chris is public and has been for about two weeks, you guys have been dating for a little over a year and thought it would be a good time to share the love you have for each other. It went smoothly for a bit with all of the fans being happy for you guys and them being happy that Chris was happy. But that slowly turned and you started to get some hate from the few that didn't quite love that you are Chris' girlfriend. Now it's weighing on you and you're starting to overthink things and know that you need to talk to Chris tonight.
You start to walk to your and Chris' shared bedroom to get changed when Chris pulls you into frame for you to say hi. "Hi guys!" you say with a big smile on your face trying to hide the fact that you didn't want to be in the video today after getting small threats you still put on a brave face and smile for the camera. Giving Chris a small kiss on the cheek you head to your room.
--
Once the boys are done filming Chris comes to find you. He finds you in one of his fresh love hoodies and shorts in a ball on the bed wrapped tight in the sheets. He walks over to you with a concerned look on his face and bends down to see what was going on.
"What's up baby?" He asks. "Wait- why are you crying?" asking now more concerned.
"I- Its nothing, really." You say slightly stumbling on your words.
"I can tell its not ma." He pauses for a moment. "Please tell me what up and what I can do to help."
You sit and think about telling him what's really going on or just saying you're tired, but end up telling him everything. "I-It's just since.. since we've told people about being together it's" You stop sitting up more before continuing. "Its been dif-different online."
"What do you mean "different" y/n/n?"
"Like I've been getting some small threats-"
Chris cuts you off, not letting you continue before grabbing your hands, pulling you into a hug. This is when you break down completely, letting it all out into his chest, small sobs escaping your mouth, tears falling down your face and you pull back he gives you a gentle smile and a quick peck on the lips.
"Ill handle it don't worry about the crazy bitches who think you don't deserve me. You are the best thing that has happened to me, over all of the fans. You. You are my number.." he stops and thinks "You're my number three." you stare at him blankly "Matt and Nick." he says and you giggle a little. "There is no one I want more than you and know one I love more than you."
You smile at him and pull him into a kiss. Smiling as you guys pull apart you start to speak before he quickly kisses you again. "Sorry" he says. "They just look so kissable" he has a shit eating grin across his face.
"Can we take a shower together?" you ask your voice slightly cracking.
"Sure love. Let me go get the shower started." he starts to walk across the room to his bathroom. "Water temperature?"
"As hot as hell its self please" you ask with a small smile forming on your lips. You love when Chris takes care of you even if its as simple as taking a shower together.
Once the water was hot Chris came back out with just his pants on. "Waters hot, like supper supper hot. just how you like it." He says as he pulls you into the bathroom filled with steam. You can feel your body relaxing already.
Chris comes up behind you and pulls you into an embrace. He starts to take your shirt off. Helping you get undressed. You let him help you, taking your pants off to speed up the process. Once your fully undressed you can feel Chris staring at you from behind. You spin to look at him, giving him a look that makes his lips go into a straight line. He just nods understanding that you're not in the mood tonight.
"Lets just get in." you say walking over opening the shower door letting more steam out. Chris not too far behind you.
Stepping into the shower you and Chris find your comfortable spots, him behind you, you right under the water soaking it all in. You feel an arm reach the shampoo on the right of you. Hearing the cap open you step aside so Chris can get his hair wet but he just pulls you back under the water. Looking over your shoulder you notice that he grabbed your shampoo.
"Chris what-" You start to say before he cuts you off.
"Just let me. I feel bad this whole going public was my idea and now your getting backlash for it."
"Ok." You say stepping back so just your head is now not getting hit by water so he can start washing it.
Hearing the cap open you prepare yourself for the cold shampoo to hit your head. Once Chris put his fingers on your scalp you relaxed even more into him. Now fully leaning your back against his chest closing your eyes as he does all the work. Feeling him massage your head was the best feeling in the world.
Chris knew that you loved when someone played with your hair so he made sure to take his time in each spot before moving on. Once he took his hands off your head you groaned at the loss of contact and slowly spun to start washing the shampoo out of your head. Chris giving you a quick kiss helped you wash the soap out of your hair.
Once done that he started putting conditioner in your hair. "remember only the ends." You remind him. He hums in response liking the comfortable silence that filled the room. Just the sound of the water hitting your bodies and the floor.
This time Chris spun you around washing the conditioner out of your hair, making sure to get it all before turning the shower off and stepping out to grab a towel for himself then for you.
"Chris you didn't even wash yourself." You kinda state kinda ask.
"I dont need to. I showered before you came home."
"Oh ok" You say to him as he wraps you up in the plush towel. You snuggle into it before walking back into the room.
"Here, take these." He says while walking to his side of the closet pulling down his favorite pair of sweats and a nice sweatshirt he knows you love.
You smile while you grab them putting them on and climbing into bed. "You coming?" questioning why he was starting to walk to the door.
"Yeah, one second." He starts walking out the door. "I have to do one thing"
"Ok, I'll be here" You tell him smiling. He returns the smile back to you before closing the door.
~~
Its been five minutes since Chris has left the room and your starting to wonder what he is doing. As if he could read your mind he opened the door with a smile on his face, phone in hand. "What did you do" you asked him.
He didn't answer you all he did was hand you his phone that was playing a video of him, Matt, and Nick all together talking. You turn the phone up and hear Nick say "If we hear someone is sending threats to y/n again we will All" He says waving his finger around pointing at the three of them on the couch. "Block you from every form of social media we have." He finishes his statement with a quick smile but his eyes dark from anger.
You look up from the phone with slight tears prickling your eyes, feeling so loved by each of the boys. The fact they would go as far as finding the person and blocking them meant the world to you. You let a sob escape from your lips and Chris looks down to see you laughing and crying at the same time.
Chris climbs on to the bed resting his head on you. You look at him a kiss him out of the blue "As a thank you." You say when you pull back to find a surprised Chris looking back at you. You giggle when you see his kiddish smile form. "I love you so much Chris, thank you for doing that." You pause "and tell Matt and Nick I said that you as well."
"You're welcome y/n" comes from behind the door. You start to laugh as you cant believe they were eavesdropping on you, but you thought it was cute.
~~
A few hours later you and Chris are passed out tangled in each other's bodies and embrace. Your favorite way to sleep, next to the person you loved the most, the person who care so much about you sleeping with his head on your chest, snoring slightly, cute little noises coming from him as he dreams. Your absolute favorite.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: pt2: I hope you guys liked this! this was my first time writing for than some head cannons. this took me like two hours the write and I feel like it was supper cute and the end is just *chefs kiss*
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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 5 months
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01/15/2024 Crew Recap
Hey all, today has been a very very very long day. I’m typing this with my eyeballs glazed over and half open. However, so much has happened in such a little amount of time I wanted share a few things before I pass out I know a lot of you are in different timezones, are busy with life, and taking a break, so maybe this will help with parsing through some of the crazy stuff the crew has been up to.
The petition hit 50K, and is at 52.5K at the moment
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Fundraisers: I didn’t even realize there were two different fundraisers for Palestine/Gaza going on but we blew both out of the water. (Note: the second picture is from a November campaign but I think its just as important to highlight— ty for the correction anon!)
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The Emmys hashtag turn out was great tonight. There was some pretty amazing and creative stuff going on across all the platforms. Some can be seen on IG, but if you wanna see the majority of it, check out twitter #SaveOFMD #75thEmmys
---We have new ways of protesting and advocating for our show, see here for the thread on tumblr (from twitter):---
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And to support that @saltpepperbeard was kind enough to put together a wonderful guide on how to Call It Through as a Crew: Alleviating Some Phone Anxiety which as someone who is socially anxious and sometimes verbally vomits on people when on the phone, is AMAZING and thank you so much for doing that to help.
-- > There is also this new thread on some new places to call into. Don't quote me on that being an official thing we should do, I'm sure @renewasacrew and others will have more in the AM, I just wanted to share it so people could follow if they wanted to.
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New Articles!
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Our Flag Means Death: Here’s why season three deserves to be aired
Petition to save BBC show with rare Rotten Tomatoes score gets 50,000 signatures
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There's so much more that's happened today-- but I can't write it all down because my brain is couscous.
<---So instead, I'm going to use this last part to gush over you all and your amazing contributions in all your unique ways. The community support the last few days has been SO INCREDIBLY UPLIFTING.-->
I saw (and experienced) people reblogging asks where random followers, anons, and mutuals just reached out and sent love because they could tell people were struggling.
I've seen comments all over the place on Tumblr, IG, Twitter, and Facebook where each and every person is encouraging each other to speak their mind, or complimenting their artwork, encouraging them if they were feeling uncomfortable with things outside their comfort zones, coming up with new and exciting ways to fight back, people reaching out to the cast/crew just to say hi and remind them we love them.
I've seen Self-Care checkpoints all over, reminding people to drink water, take a break, block your notifications for a while, not engaging in negative behavior.
I've seen people being so nice on instagram posts that the people who were being dicks about all our comments turned around and decided to watch OFMD!
I saw so many people doing new analysis of scenes and characters, and having really deep and friendly discussions that make everyone think in new ways.
I saw people digging through old tumblrs to bring life back to old posts and artwork.
I saw so much NEW artwork, new FICS! New GIFS! So much new art and love!
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I could literally go on and on, but I've just...I had to dump this out of my brain otherwise I'd explode. I've just seen so much today that continues to make me so proud of our little safe space ship and so happy to be apart of this community.
You all continue to be the best of the best of humans, and I am so very grateful to get to witness and be apart of it. Rest up lovelies and have a good day / night, wherever you may be. May you dream of sexy middle-aged gay men kissing, or hugging, or whatever else you want them to be getting into.
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leossmoonn · 7 months
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five nights with mike (2) | mike schmidt
read part one
summary - a romance develops between you and mike at freddy’s
warnings / includes - reader is fem. established feelings. natural time skips. very loosely follows the plot of the movie but i didn’t want to watch it again for this lol. eventual smut - piv, oral f receiving, brief handjob
————
18+ under the cut
“thank you so much for picking me up. you might have to tomorrow, too.”
mike glances at you, giving you a small smile. “it’s no problem.”
you buckle yourself in and set your purse between your legs on the ground. “how is abby?”
“great. she asks about you all the time,” mike chuckles. “oh,” you sigh, putting your hand on your chest. “she’s adorable. maybe sometime we can eat lunch or something together.”
his heart spikes and he nods enthusiastically. “that-that would be awesome. yeah and, uh, i can pay this time. i can even make it, too.”
“mike schmidt cooks, huh?” you grin at him. “i only know how to make a few things, but i like cooking in general. just give me a recipe and i’ll try my best,” he says.
“mmm. well, i love a man who can cook,” you remark, looking out the window. heat creeps up mike’s neck and reaches his ears. “just let me know what kind of food you like, and i’ll make it. i’m not a trained chef or anything, though, so if it’s bad then i don’t say i didn’t warn you.”
“i bet you’re better than me. i personally like baking better,” you say.
“baking is cool, but it takes too long and i’m an impatient person.”
“well, how about you cook and i’ll bring the dessert.”
“oh, you don’t have to do that,” mike shakes his head. “you’re already so busy with work.”
“it’s no trouble. i’ve stated to get later shifts at my day job. it means i work later, but more time to sleep and some more time reserved for things like baking.”
“that’s great to hear. do you feel like you sleep better now?”
“no,” you snort. “if anything, i feel worse, but that’s just my brain. i can tell my body appreciates it.”
mike hums in response. “tonight you can sleep the majority of the shift if you’d like.”
“and leave you all alone? no. after what happened to abby, i’m kind of scared to sleep there.”
mike rolls his bottom lip in between his teeth. “don’t let abby scare you. she has lots of imaginary friends even before i took her there, which won’t be happening again.”
“right,” you sigh. “it’s just that i swore i heard other voices. like a man’s voice.”
mike feels the hairs raise up on his arms even under his jacket. “maybe tonight we can scope it out.”
“sure. hopefully we don’t die. imagine those fur things coming to life and murdering us,” you shiver in thought.
mike chuckles, “that would be wild.”
mike parks his car at the pizzeria. you grab your purse and lead the way in. as you step inside, there’s a cracking sound. you look under your shoe, seeing a bunch of glass on the floor.
“holy shit,” you gasp. you look at the diner, seeing it totally trashed.
“fuck, um. yeah, steve mentioned this to me earlier. i-i must’ve forgot,” mike says sheepishly. he really did forget. he must’ve been so clouded by his excitement to see you, he scraped his conversation with steve completely.
“it’s okay. it’s not like you warning me would’ve changed what happened.” you can’t believe your eyes. it seems like every table in the diner is flipped over or broken. glass litters the floor and you’re thankful you chose to wear sneakers tonight and not slippers like you have been. “what did happen?” you turn to mike.
“i guess a bunch of people came in here after we left and trashed it. i’m not sure why. i swore we locked all the doors.”
“yeah, i thought we did, too. we wanted to get abby out of here fast, though, so we could’ve missed something.”
“yeah, that’s what i was thinking, too,” mike sighs. “i guess you really won’t be getting any rest tonight.”
“it’s alright,” you shrug. “i just don’t know if we’ll be able to get the diner back to its original state.”
“it’s not like anybody but us comes here,” mike jokes. you smile and nod, “right.” you set your purse down on one of the booth tables that isn’t destroyed. “let’s get to it.”
mike and you spend most of the night cleaning. you were shocked to find even more mess in the hallway and kitchen areas. everything was going smoothly until you find what you think is blood splattered all over the storage room window.
“mike?” you call out. there’s no answer and a pang of worry hits your chest. “mike?” you shout louder.
“coming!” you hear him. fast footsteps echo in the hallway and you can’t help but feel creeped out. you always thought this place was weird and dinky. you only accepted the job because you found out another person was working, and while you feel very save with mike, you just can’t shake the feeling that there’s something seriously wrong with this place.
“what’s up?” mike asks. you point to the window and his eyes widen. “oh,” he says. “um, maybe that’s the blood of the person destroying the place?”
“maybe. but it’s from the inside.”
“yeah,” mike gulps. “we can tell steve about it or something. we were hired to babysit this place, not be a clean up crew.”
“right,” you nod. he grabs your hand gently and you feel butterflies erupt in your tummy. “let’s go back to the office. we only have a couple more hours here. we can relax from cleaning then just be done.”
you smile in agreement, letting him lead you out of the hallway. soon your mind wanders away from the eerie feelings. you talk about everything and nothing. you laugh at every terrible joke he makes. he listens intently to stories about your family. with each minute, it seems like you two get closer — both emotionally and physically. by the end of the shift, you’re sitting knee-to-knee. your foot is brushing up against his jeans, feeling the muscle of his calf. both of your hands are rested on the desk and his fingers routinely brush up against yours. soon, they’re basically intertwined. you don’t know how they got there, but you’re not complaining.
“looks like we made it without dying,” mike says. you grin, “until tomorrow.”
“shall i take you home, then?” he asks. your face falls and he catches it, but you’re quick to mask it. “yeah, sure.” the disappointment seeps into you, but you know you’ll see him again soon. you just wish you could have more time with him.
you both walk out, triple checking that everything is shut and locked. the car ride home is silent, but it’s comfortable. you glance at mike every so often, admiring him from the passenger seat. his hair is tousled from running his hands in it. his eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on driving, his eyes moving every so often as he watches the road. your eyes trial down the shape of his nose, noticing the tiniest bump towards the top.
dread fills you as he pulls into your driveway. you purse your lips as you try to think of what will allow you to spend more time with him.
“what’re your plans for today?” you ask. “nothing much. abby’s with a babysitter right now. thankfully, it’s the weekend so i don’t have to rush to take her to school,” he answers.
“ah,” you hum. he looks to you, seeing your face in deep concentration as you stare at your lap. “what about you? you work later today, right?”
“yep. at 2,” you say. he glances at the dashboard clock that reads 6:30 am. “you have a while then. are you tired?” he asks.
“not really. honestly, staying up all night kind of gave me a boost of energy.”
“me, too,” he nods. you can’t help but sigh. there’s no good reason for him to come inside or even for you to go back to his house. you figure you just have to wait until tonight.
“thank you again for driving me. are you able to pick me up later?” you ask.
“of course,” he nods. you smile, “great! i really appreciate it.”
“it’s really no problem,” he smiles. you start to get out of the car, but he stops you. “hey, can i, uh, use your bathroom really quickly?”
“yeah,” you nod a little too much. “thank you,” he says, stepping out of his car. you unlock the front door, trying to remember if you left your house a complete mess or not. you’re relieved to see that you did not.
mike looks around your house. it looks identical to his from the outside, but the inside is a whole different story. he wonders if you hired an interior decorator because of how beautiful it looks.
“the bathroom is down the hall to the right,” you say. he turns to look at you, then to the hallway. “thanks,” he says, making his way to the closed door.
you take off your shoes, placing them neatly on the small shoe rack you have by the door. there are some dirty dishes on the coffee table in your living room from your last meal, but you’re sure he doesn’t mind. everyone has dirty dishes laying out from time to time. you take the opportunity to load them in your dishes washer, re-folding some blankets and fluffing up the couch pillows.
you’re sat on your couch when mike comes out.
“are you hungry?” you ask. “no,” he lies. he wants to stay, but he doesn’t want to be a burden to you.
“oh, come on. we haven’t eaten in like, eight hours. at least i haven’t. i have some cinnamon rolls that would love to be baked.”
“would they, though?”
you giggle and stand up. “will your babysitter mind staying a little late?”
“i’ll call her,” mike says. he takes out his phone, dialing his home phone. it takes a moment or two for someone to pick up. “hello?” abby’s voice echos.
“hey, abby. is max there?” he asks. “yes. she just got me breakfast from mcdonald’s,” abby says.
“oh, that’s nice of her. do you mind if i speak to her real quick?”
“okay. max!”
mike quickly pulls the phone away as abby yells into the mic.
“hello?” max says. “hey, max. i, uh, got caught up at the pizzeria. are you able to stay and watch her for an hour or so?” mike asks.
“yeah, of course,” she says quickly. “awesome. i’ll pay you extra, i promise,” mike says.
“it’s okay, mike. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“yep,” he hangs up, waking into the kitchen where you’re setting out the dough.
“ah, these are pre-packaged,” mike remarks. “nobody has time to make cinnamon rolls by scratch,” you say.
“says the person who likes baking. or do you just like fake baking?”
“this is not fake baking!” you exclaim. “i am putting it in the oven and going to put icing over it.”
“whatever you say.” mike leans against your counter, crossing his arms over his chest. you can’t help but notice him flex his biceps.
“i bet you fake cook,” you quip. his brows raise in question. “and what does that entail?”
“you put a foam cup full of ramen and warm it up in the microwave.”
“those are delicious.”
“i mean, yeah, but it’s so hard to put an egg in it and sometimes the noodles aren’t soft enough.”
“well, i usually cook my ramen on the stovetop. so if i ever make you that, you’ll know it’s real cooking.”
you laugh at his joke, your eyes flickering from the rolls to him a few times. you think about doing this again with him, next time with him making you food. you think about being in his house, seeing how he lives, looking at the pictures he may have on the walls, or lack thereof. you think about sitting on his couch and watching a movie, shoulders and knees touching. you wonder what his room looks like, what color his sheets are. you want to know what he looks like sleeping and waking up. you want to know what he looks like on top of you and between your thighs.
“what else do you know how to make?” you ask.
“chicken pot pie.”
“pot pie? wow.” you are genuinely impressed.
“i’ve been told i make a mean stir fry, too.”
“you’ll have to make it for me then. does abby like your cooking?” you ask, putting the pan in the preheated oven.
“only if it’s spaghetti and waffles.”
“i see that she’s a simple girl.”
“food-wise, she is. but i don’t mind. they’re both easy things to make.”
“it’s sweet.” you turn to him, leaning against the counter diagonal from him. “how you take care of her. she’s lucky to have you.”
“truth is, i’m lucky to have her. we don’t always get along, but she keeps me going.”
“that is adorable,” you awe. “i am an only child, so i envy people who have siblings.”
“it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s nice just having someone there.”
“seems like it,” you say. you move to your coffee maker, turning it on and finding a k-cup to use. “would you like some coffee?”
“i would,” he nods. “can you grab us some mugs? they’re in the cabinet behind your head,” you direct.
he does so, placing the cups on the counter. he moves to slide it to you at the same time you put your hand on it. your heart skips a beat. your eyes shoot to his and you see they’re already on you. you watch his eyes trail down to your lips and the back up to your own eyes. you feel weak in the knees as he stares at you through his lashes. his eyes are wide and full of innocence, but there’s a hint of mischief in them as his pupils begin to widen.
“thank you,” you say, your voice coming out barely above a whisper.
“mhm,” he hums, his voice low and smooth. “how do you like your coffee?” you ask.
“one sugar and a splash of milk or creamer. whatever you have,” he answers.
“i have some creamer in the fridge.” you head towards your refrigerator. he watches you as you bite your lip as you search for the creamer. you shut the fridge door gently, setting the creamer next to the coffee maker. you open the cabinet above of you, grabbing a couple packets of sugar. he keeps his eyes on you as the silence settles in.
this feels so nice. being with you in your house feels nice. being close to you, spending time with you feels nice. mike wants to do this every day. he wants to fall asleep holding you close like he did the other night in the office. he wants to live with you and make dinner for you, having it await your arrival after your day shift. he wants to wake up next to you, tracing circles on your skin until they eventually become replaced with kisses. he wants to know how you’d look on top of him, riding his dick and face.
soon the cinnamon rolls are done. you take them out of the oven, waiting a few moments before icing them.
“you’re pretty good at icing,” you say. “thank you. these are kind of hard to ice since they’re so warm,” he chuckles.
“yeah, you’re supposed to wait, but i’m starving.” you take a bite into the roll, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. mike can’t help but notice that his jeans feel uncomfortably tight all the sudden. he takes a bite of his roll, making a note of how good they are.
“you can never go wrong with these,” you say. you take another bite, some icing sticking to the top of your lip. “you have a little bit of something here.” mike’s pinky points to his own lips.
“oh, god,” you laugh, heat creeping up your neck from embarrassment. “i should’ve warned you, i’m a messy eater.” you take a napkin and wipe it over the bottom half of your lip.
mike smiles and sets his roll down. “here, let me.”
you nod and place the napkin down, his fingers brushing against yours once more. he moves closer to you, leaning his head in to where your foreheads are almost touching. his gaze is trained on your lips as he cups your face, swiping his thumb over your lips. you don’t realize you’re holding in a breath until he looks into your eyes.
“thank you,” you manage to say. your throat feels dry all of the sudden and you feel hot all over. “no problem,” he says.
the air is thick between you two. you’re so close, closer than you’ve ever been. you can feel the heat radiating off of him. when you inhale you can smell him. he smells like the woods, spearmint, and vanilla. you can recognize the spearmint smell from his car. you wonder if the woodsy smell is natural and if the vanilla is the scent of his body wash.
he doesn’t move is hand away and you’re sure you don’t want him to. his eyes move across your face, not sure whether to stare at your lips or your eyes. he sucks in a deep breath, swallowing slowly. you watch as his adam’s apple bobs up and down, his jaw becoming more sharp as he bites down on his back teeth for a moment.
“can i kiss you?” his voice is low and warm. your eyes flutter in surprise, your heart following in suit. his big brown eyes stare into yours, holding your eyes hostage.
“yes,” you finally say. he slowly moves in, his hand moving upwards to touch the nape of your neck. you try to control your breathing as you watch his eyes flicker from yours to your lips. he brushes his bottom lip against yours, causing a thrill to run up your spine. his head moves back slightly, but he makes up for it with closing the gap between you two.
kissing him feels like a weight taken off your shoulders. all the tension you’ve felt releases as you move your lips with his. he kissed you so gently, a little too soft, like he’s holding back. after a few seconds he pulls away, both of you catching your breaths.
“i’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he says. you smile, grabbing his free hand. “well, don’t stop.”
he kisses you again, this time harder. it’s almost bruising. he grabs your waist, holding you tighter and closer. you take a shower breath and his tongue slips into your mouth. you moan softly as his hand slivers down to your ass and squeezing the soft tissue. your arms wrap around him and your weave your fingers through his hair. it’s so soft like you’ve always imagined.
“can i do this?” mike breathes against your lips. your eyes are still closed as he slides both hands up your shirt. you answer him by pulling away completely and taking your shirt off, revealing your nude-colored bra. you expect his eyes to drop down immediately, but you watch as they follow your jaw and down your neck. they sweep across the area where your collarbones are, then finally landing on your breasts.
his hands walk up your sides, making you laugh a little bit. he smiles at you, his eyes jumping up to yours now. you can’t help but squeeze your thighs just by the way he’s looking at you. he attaches his lips to yours once more, but it’s not long before he starts to trail down to your neck and your chest. you unhook your bra, letting it fall off your shoulders to the ground. you lean against the counter as he cups your tits, thumbs circling over your hardened nipples. you let out a little gasp as he pinches them, looking up at you to try and gage your reaction. he closes his lips around one nipple, flicking it with his tongue. you sigh this time, your hand falling to his head.
you feel his hands skim down to your pants. his fingers hook under the waistband, feeling over the cotton of your underwear. you shift your weight, feeling that the tension is almost unbearable. it’s painful as you watch him slowly slide down your pants. he runs his tongue down the valley of your breasts, pressing wet all over your tummy before landing at the top of your underwear. you step out of your pants, feeling the cold air hit your legs, making you shiver.
his left hand grabs the underside of your thigh. his hand is so warm against your cold skin. it feels nice, but not as nice as the feeling you get when he runs the pads of his fingertips down your underwear. he skims just over your slit, feeling some of the wetness that has collected. you want to slap the smirk off his face, but it makes your stomach flip.
“is there anything i should do?” he asks. now he looks all innocent, staring at you with wide eyes and raised brows.
“i could think of a few things,” you say. “mm, like what?” he inquires. his fingers are at the side of your panties. you watch in anticipation as you wait for him to pull them to the side. “tell me what you want,” mike says.
you swallow hard. “i… i want your fingers inside of me. and your mouth on me.”
you can see all of his top teeth as he smiles. “that’s all you had to say.”
you spread your legs, using the counter as a crutch. he pushes your underwear aside, slipping one finger into you. heat creeps up your neck at the sound of your cunt gushing. he slides it out momentarily, finding your clit to moisten the area. he slides two fingers in this time, curling them inside of you. he watches you again, seeing your lips part and chest heave up and down. you feel your brain go numb as he keeps his eyes locked on yours as he brings his mouth to your cunt.
“ohmygod,” you rush out, your head lolling back. his tongue flicks your clit, sucking every so often. you lead so far back your back is supported by your cabinets. one of your hands hold his head, your fingers gripping his hair. your other hand is digging your fingernails into his clothes shoulder.
“fuck, mike,” you gasp as he quickens the pace of his fingers ever so slightly. he hits that spot so perfectly, and you can’t help but squeeze your thighs around his head. his tongue starts making stronger strokes on your clit. not enough to make it hurt, but enough to make you feel like you’re already about to orgasm.
you’ve talked to mike about past lovers. you know he’s had a couple and for only short periods of time. you assumed he would be experienced, but not an expert, which you had no problem with. he’s sure as hell proving you wrong now.
“don’t stop, don’t stop,” you breathe out. you place one hand next to you on the counter, gripping the marble top so hard you think it might leave an imprint in your palm. “mike, mike,” you warn him, your throat constricting and heart racing. your toes curl in your socks and you clench your thighs around his head one last time.
you have to push his head away, seeing the dazed look on his face. his fingers exit you and he sucks them dry. you visibly gulp, feeling warmth fill your lower stomach as you watch him. all you can hear is your heartbeat in your ears and your heavy breathing.
“good?” he asks. “yes,” you nod enthusiastically. “so good.”
you grab him by his shirt, crashing your lips onto his. you taste yourself on his lips. both of your hands drop down to his jeans, undoing his belt quickly. his heart skips in excitement as his pant pool at his ankles. you palm him through his brief, feeling how hard he it. it must be painful, you think, and it is. he was already hard from the moment he kissed you, and it didn’t get any better when giving you head.
you pull away and wet your hand with your spit, shoving your hand down his boxers. both of his hands grip your waist as you wrap your fingers around his length, pumping it in your hands, squeezing every so often. your other hand reached down to his balls, massaging them gently, but at the same pace as your other hand.
“shit,” mike groans, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. he already feels like he’s going to blow a load. he hasn’t had sex in a long while, but he didn’t his stamina was this terrible. he knows it’s you, though. you’re the reason why his fingertips are digging into your skin. you’re the reason why his pre-cum is leaking all over your hand. you’re the reason why when he feels like he’s close to coming, he stops you because he wants — no, needs — to feel what it’s like inside of you.
“do you have a condom?” mike breaths out. “yeah,” you say. you quickly make your way to one of your drawers, pulling out a packet. “these work?” you ask.
“yes,” he nods. “you just keep condoms laying around?”
“easy access,” you shrug.
“you fuck everybody in your kitchen, then?”
“only my hot co-workers.”
he blushes at your comment. you give him a wink, tearing open the condom. you hand it to him and he slides it on. you grab the bottle of lube you keep handy as well, slathering it onto the condom, giving mike a playful squeeze that elicits a low groan. he takes you by the waist and kisses you, spinning you around so now yours against the counter again. you take your panties off and hop on, the cold marble feeling nice against your blazing hot skin.
you lean back, watching mike line himself up with you. he looks into your eyes then back down, pushing himself inside of you. you gasp softly, your grip on his shoulders tightening. he starts off slow at first, basking in your warmth and tight walls. but soon, he’s fucking you. he slides his arm under your back and pulls your bottom half towards him, causing the angle to change. he hikes one of your legs up, allowing him to lean into you more and just hit that spot deep inside of you deliciously.
“mike,” you pant into his shoulder, holding yourself close to him. he makes your eyes flutter shut and roll back farther with each thrust. you pulsate around him with every whimper and moan that comes out of his mouth. you soon feel that familiar feeling bubble in your lower stomach.
mike rests his head against your cabinet, looking down and watching as he slides in and out of you. his grip on your sides tighten as he tries to focus on other things than you, but he can’t. you’re just too sexy. the way you’re moaning in his ear, chanting his name with each thrust. the way your nails begin to scrape against his shoulder blades. not to mention, you look amazing just sitting on the countertop. he can’t not think about you and the fact that he’s inside of you.
that’s all he needs to finish.
you wrap both legs around him as you come. your head leans back, your eyes screwing shut. he comes with you, stopping after a few slow thrusts. he slides out of you, chest heaving up and down. you squeeze your legs together and swear you can still feel him inside of you.
he ties the condom and throws it into your trash can. you have a big smile on your face when he turns to look at you. he can’t help but mirror it.
“how, uh, was that?” he asks, suddenly becoming bashful. “amazing,” you breathe out. “how did i do?” you ask teasingly.
“you were…. perfect.” his pupils are blown and you can’t tell where his iris starts. his words make your body feel even more warm. you jump off your counter and put your clothes back on, making a note to wipe off your counter with lysol soon.
“i should get back home to abby,” mike says. your smile falls, but you understand. “she probably misses you.”
“probably not,” he chuckles. “well, i know i will.” you take his hands into yours.
“you’ll see me soon,” he says, his thumb tracing circles on your skin.
“i will,” you smile, starting to feel excited again. you walk him outside, leaning on the hood of his car. “i hope to do this again sometime,” you say.
“me, too. maybe sometime before work i can make you dinner?” he suggests.
you’re smiling so hard your cheeks are starting to hurt. “i would love that.”
————
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oddinary4bts · 1 year
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Love is a Laserquest | choi san
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☆summary: years after your break-up, Choi San comes to you for help. In an attempt to save his life, you escape to your uncle's cabin in the woods far from civilization. Will nostalgia and longing make you fall again, or is Choi San just spinning more lies to you?
☆pairing: gangster!Choi San x female!reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)
☆genre: gangster au, exes au, angst, smut, a smidge of the one bed trope
☆warnings: guns/gun violence (mentioned), knifes/stabbing (mentioned), a bounty over San's head, death of a minor character (named Jungkook my bad), blood, injuries, stitches, probably some wrong medical terminology bc optometrists don't stitch up people lmao, a panic attack, cursing, pet names, explicit content: oral sex (female receiving) -> face riding, let me know if I forgot any!
☆word count: 16.5k
☆a/n: Here's my submission for Outlaw: The Project hosted by @ssaboala. It is coincidentally my first time posting about another group than bts, so I hope this won't disappoint! I really enjoyed writing it (even though it's really sad oop). Also my first time making a moodboard so hopefully it works haha
☆a/n pt2: thank you to @moonleeai for being my ever-so faithful beta reader, love you lots <3
☆☆☆☆☆
And do you still think love is a Laserquest? Or do you take it all more seriously? I’ve tried to ask you this in some daydreams that I’ve had But you’re always busy being make-believe
Love is a Laserquest – Arctic Monkeys
☆☆☆☆☆
The diner is silent, unoccupied. It always is on late weekday evenings, when most patrons have gone to bed, the city falling under a carpet of hushed silence only night can bring forth. It makes the diner feel like it’s straight out of a 70s movie, and it makes for the perfect study sessions too.
Night isn’t always soundless in your part of town. Hence why you’ve been trying to escape, pursuing an education that has been leaving you penniless, but with a bright future ahead. If you make it out of med school at a certain point, that is.
Tonight, you fear the peace that night usually entails has been ruined for you – there were gunshots earlier, close enough for you to see the police cars racing past as the law officers made it to probably yet another gang fight.
There’s been a gang war on your side of town. The diner has always been safe, a refuge for both sides of the war, where they aren’t allowed to fight. To carry in weapons and hatred. No, the moment they cross the threshold of the diner, the gangsters become one family, sharing struggles that only poverty can cause.
You wipe a table clean before walking back towards the counter. Your open laptop waits for you, and you quickly read the study guide you’ve made for yourself, the cardiovascular system and its pathologies forming a maze in your mind that you’ve yet to decode. Luckily enough, you still have a week before the bloc ends and you have to take the exam.
Plenty of time to cram everything about the heart in your thick little skull, you’d say.
Your lips move in time with what you’re reading, attention solely focused on the bright screen when a thump is heard right outside the door. It startles you, and you turn around to see the empty street out of the glass door.
It takes you about ten seconds to notice the dark form sitting on the ground. They’re leaning against the door, head lolling to the side. You assume it must be someone that’s ended unhoused, something that happens far too often where you live.
You’ve always been kind. When you were younger, you were told your kindness would be your demise. Yet you’ve never been able to be anything but kind, even though sometimes it might put you at risk. So you can’t resist but walk to the front door, trying to push it open.
It’s useless – the weight of the person is keeping it tightly shut, though they do straighten a little, as if coming to their senses. They turn, and the moment their profile comes into view you’re brought back eight years in the past. To a time when the world was still a beautiful place, void of violence and cruelty. To a smile so sweet it made flowers blossom on your heart, and to eyes so sharp you knew they had read your soul.
Choi San is sitting outside the door, and the caked blood on his cheek tells you enough – he’s injured. He pushes away from the door before slowly getting up. He clutches his side as he does it, yet when he turns back towards you and faces your horrified eyes, he still offers you a smirk.
You push the door open, thinking about the years between then and now. You had dated him for a few months that had felt like forever, until you had realized in what kind of business he was getting involved with. You had tried to convince him to flee before it was too late, and he kept promising that he would.
Only he never did, hiding lies with beautiful words that made your teenage self swoon, until your parents had realized and forced you to break up. It had been a nasty break-up, filled with hatred and words you didn’t mean yet had needed to say for him to leave.
You remember breaking his heart like it was yesterday.
“Choi San,” you greet him, and when he lets go of his side, you notice blood on his hand.
Something runs cold inside of you, even though he still sports a smirk on his lips.
He says your name, bowing his head. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
Months, in fact. Because he does come to the diner sometimes. He usually ignores you, and so do you, so it feels strange to have him speak to you. To hear his voice as his words are addressed to you.
“What…” you trail off, glancing down at the ripped fabric of his black tank top.
He’s got a mean cut on his ribs, and it’s only then that you truly realize that he’s badly injured. Because there’s more – one of his biceps has been sliced open too, though blood is barely oozing out of it in small rivulets. The blood on his cheek is from where you assume he’s been punched with rings, and there’s already an underlying bruise under his eye.
“Got beaten up,” he states the obvious, and you immediately open the door wider to let him in.
He limps in, heading towards the nearest booth, where he plops down and lets out a pained grunt. You make sure no one is outside before shutting the door and locking it, flipping the hanging sign on it so it says closed in case a patron decides to show up.
You take a few steps towards San, hands shaking slightly at your side. Because that’s a grown man, bleeding out on the leather seat of the booth, and his eyes are shut though he looks in pain. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do. You haven’t yet started your residency, haven’t really gone from theory to practice… Yet you’re studying to be a doctor, are you not?
“Why are you here?” you ask, though you’re pretty sure you know the answer.
“Didn’t know where else to go,” he says, wincing as one of his eyes opens. He tilts his head to look towards you. “Word around the block says…” he pauses, takes a deep breath before continuing, “that you’re studying to be a doctor”.
So you are right. He’s here because he needs your help, and you’re not quite sure how you feel about it.
“Why…” You look for words, and it takes you a moment to realize that it doesn’t matter.
For all the history between you and him, Choi San doesn’t deserve to bleed out to death on a cheap leather seat in a forgotten diner on the dangerous side of town.
He has the decency to chuckle at the start of your question, which only makes him wince in pain once again.
“Don’t move,” you tell him, and it’s a little stupid because clearly, he’s in no state to move.
He doesn’t question it, and you run to the kitchen to thoroughly wash your hands and grab the first aid kit. At night, no cooks stay around, and you usually only reheat food if needed, which doesn’t really happen. You haven’t had any client coming in at night in weeks… until San, that is. So no one is there to see what is going on, which you reckon is a relief. Because you have no idea what’s going on.
You return to the booth where San is waiting, patiently. He’s clearly wiped his hand on his face because there’s fresh blood on his forehead, and you almost balk at the sight of it.
“What have you done?” you mutter, more to yourself than to him.
It seems he’s still in sync with you because he still hears. “Got involved with the wrong crowd.”
You put the first aid kit down on the table, ignoring his eyes when they flutter open, and he rests his gaze on you.
“I don’t know if I can help you,” you say as you unzip the kit and throw it open. You spare his side a quick glance. “This looks like you’re going to need stitches.”
He makes an effort of looking down at himself, though it mostly fails as he doesn’t raise his head from the seat. “Right.”
You grab everything you think you might need – alcohol swabs to clean his skin, fresh linen to bandage his side and arm, and stuff for his cheek too. He carefully observes you, with that piercing gaze of his that used to make you go crazy inside when you were young and impressionable.
You vaguely motion at him, and he cocks an eyebrow. “What?”
“Are you able to sit up?” you ask. “I can’t reach you if you’re lying back like this.”
His pink tongue darts to wet his lips, and he nods curtly. “Let me…” he trails off, resting a bloody hand on the table while he grabs at the back of the booth to push himself up. It has new blood appearing on his side, and you quickly move towards him, putting some linen against it.
As if it’s going to do anything. He clearly needs stitches, and you’ve got nothing with you to stitch him up.
“Fuck,” he curses lowly as he’s finally sitting. You just keep the linen on his side, eyes a little wide.
Your gazes connect inevitably, and time slows. You think about how he used to smile, how his eyes used to hold a softness you haven’t had the chance to see again since he’s walked out of your life.
Or rather, since you kicked him out of your life.
“I don’t think I can help,” you whisper, and his eyes flicker to your lips.
“I can’t go to the hospital,” he admits, shame turning his features into a mask of regret. “They… If they find me, I’m dead.”
Dread fills every ounce of your being. “San, what have you been doing?”
He looks away from your insistent gaze, scoffing slightly. “You don’t want to know.”
He isn’t wrong; you genuinely don’t want to know. Because he means nothing good, even with all the memories you share with him.
“Is it going to put me in danger?” you ask, as he still obstinately avoids your gaze.
He seems to freeze in front of you, as if you’ve pressed pause to your favourite show. To avoid the awkwardness, you busy yourself with grabbing one of his hands so he can hold the linen in place before you start washing the cut on his arm. It’s not deep, but you’re pretty sure it’ll still leave a mean scar, especially considering he can’t go to the hospital.
The thought has a drop of cold sweat roll along your spine. People want him dead. People want Choi San, the man you know as a young, scared teenager just trying to find a way to make his life better, dead. You remember the innocence in his smile – has he smiled at all in the years apart?
“I should go,” he says flatly. He moves to stand, but you hold him down, two hands firmly placed on his shoulders. It makes him wince, and you quickly release your grip.
“Don’t,” you tell him. “Let me at least patch you up.”
His eyes shut again as his head hangs low. “I am so sorry.”
You don’t even know who he is apologizing to, or why he is. All you know is that it causes your heart to clench in your chest, stealing the breath from your lungs.
When you were younger, you believed San was your star-crossed lover. You believed your high school sweethearts romance would grow until you’d be old and grey and at the end of a very long road. You had dreamed of a future with him, the way only teenagers can dream – with no sense of reality. Because your reality had never been to end up by his side.
His choices had been proof enough of it.
You still remember the day you first kissed. Under an August meteor shower, with just the night sky as your witness. It had been hesitant, slow and soft, just like everything with San. And you had believed the lie, trusted it with every beat of your little heart, until your parents had found out the truth about him.
Until they had broken your heart, even before you had broken his.
If the stars had known then, what was going to happen to you and Choi San, would they still have shone through the night?
He lets out a pained sound as you gently dab at the cut on his bicep. You clean the skin around the wound in and of itself, and he watches you carefully, piercing gaze not missing how your face clouds with memories.
“How have you been doing?” he asks so softly you think his words are a gentle summer breeze on your features.
You can almost still smell the summer night air of that field where you had stargazed, where you’d always meet so long ago.
“I’ve been okay,” you answer, truthfully. Because even though you haven’t seen him, you have lived your life apart from him. Have evolved without him by your side. “Better than you, visibly.”
He didn’t expect the joke. It makes him snort, and then a soft smile grows on his lips, softening the edges of his hard features. “You haven’t changed.”
You have, and yet you haven’t. Like him, you think there’s a part of you that is still sixteen, and will forever be. A part of you that remained stuck in the moment when you watched him walk away in the rain, as if even the sky had to cry for his broken heart.
“Wish I could say the same about you,” you murmur, nostalgia a melancholic song in your words.
He chooses to remain silent, because the proof of how much he’s changed is sitting right in front of you, wounded and bleeding and hurt. The hurt is behind his eyes, in the shadows of the past that have also been obscuring your vision.
“Yeah,” he lets out, barely audible.
And then silence reigns between you, because as much as you once loved him, eight years have made you strangers. You don’t know anything about his life except the dirty, obvious darkness that surrounds him, and he doesn’t know anything except that you are studying to be a doctor…
Which leads you to wonder how does he know in the first place?
You ask him, as you’re wrapping the linen around his bicep to make a makeshift bandage. You’re proud of the result, though your fingers can’t resist but linger on the taut skin over his muscle, surprised at how soft it still is.
“I’ve heard you mention it,” he admits, as you take a step away to look at the material on the table, as if it’ll suddenly make stitches appear for you to put them in his skin. “One of the times I was here.”
“You never said hi,” you reproach him, unable to hide the ghost of a bite in your tone.
“Neither did you,” he points out, and he isn’t wrong.
All you can do is purse your lips as you finally decide to clean his skin. But for that, you have to rid him of his tank top, to make sure there’s no fabric in the wound. You look at him, cheeks somehow burning even though all you’re doing is taking care of a patient.
Though he’s not a patient, and you’re not in a hospital. You’re just a server at a dusty, old diner and he’s just your teenage lover, wounded by his dangerous actions.
“Should I grab scissors to remove your shirt?” you ask, though you’re speaking to yourself more than to him.
He still finds it in him to tease. “You want me out of my shirt?” he enquires, smirk gracing his lips again. “Say no more.”
He tries moving, but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Don’t,” you warn. “You’ll make it bleed more.”
He purses his lips, because nodding. “Right.” He glances at the first aid kit, before his eyes trail to your face again. “You got scissors in that?”
There are. You grab them, before turning towards him. It feels strange: you’ve never undressed him before. You had always wanted to wait, back then, before you slept together. You believed you were too young, and San had always respected it.
“Let me know if I hurt you,” you tell him as you take a step closer to him.
He slightly leans back, furrowing his eyebrows. “What do you plan to do with those that might hurt?”
You roll your eyes, playfully, before taking the two other steps leading to right in front of his legs. You notice that they are slightly parted, allowing you to come closer, and you take a steadying breath before reaching between you, pulling at the fabric of his tank top.
“Stay still and you shouldn’t get hurt,” you whisper, ignoring the heaviness of his piercing gaze on you.
It burns right through you, and you have to tame the beats of your heart at the feeling of the warm skin of his shoulder against the back of your fingers as you bring your other hand forward, until you’ve started cutting his shirt.
It’s stuck to his side where blood has dried, and he winces but remains still and silent as you keep going, pulling on it a little harder to be able to cut. The moment stretches into infinity, because you can’t help but take your time. It reminds you of how you’d used to run your fingers on his back, under his shirt, when you napped in the field in the summertime. In an idyllic world where gangs and violence and war were mere inventions of the media, and not a reality that surrounded you.
You’d loved the field. The wildflowers, the open air, the way it was just you and him and a few lazy bumblebees as clouds lazily crossed the sky above. You were so young then, so innocent. Hands unstained from blood, from his blood.
Because as you cut, the hand touching his shirt stains with blood. You pale at the sight of it, but you keep going, pushing through until you’re done, gently pulling the fabric from his body until he’s sitting there, shirtless, with a long wound on his ribs.
You can’t help but notice his toned chest and the defined abs on his stomach. Though blood mars his skin, turning it into a piece of violence, Choi San is still beautiful. Beautiful in a dark, dangerous way that has you glance outside, making sure no one is looking.
But the streets are empty, void of life at this time of the night. At least, they mostly always are.
“You will need stitches,” you state again as if you both don’t know already.
“I can’t…”
An idea forms in your brain. It’s a stupid idea, and you don’t even know why it crosses your mind.
Your uncle has a hunting cabin far in the woods. He’s a nurse himself, and he’s always kept everything over there in case someone got injured and he had to stitch them up. You haven’t gone in forever, but you still remember the tall trees, the deep forest scent that reminds you of autumn and leaves and grey days spent reading by the fireplace.
You never went hunting, but you did accompany your father when he went, needing an escape from the city once in a while. An escape from a life that was slowly becoming too real.
Your uncle is currently halfway across the country, so you know you’d be alone at the cabin. You glance at your laptop over your shoulder – you have three days off in front of you before your next class on Monday. Indeed, the Friday class is pre-recorded and to watch online in your free time, and you figure you can always watch it some other time.
So you turn towards Choi San, almost surprised that he’s real and he’s still sitting in front of you, honey skin cut open on his ribs.
“I might know a place where you can go,” you admit, with a small voice, surprising both you and him. Because you doubt he expects you to want to help, after tonight.
“What?” he asks.
“My uncle’s cabin,” you remind him, because you’ve told him about it all those years ago. “He should have all that I need to stitch you up.”
San looks down at himself. “You’ve just cut my shirt open.”
It sounds a little dumbfounded, and you can’t help the nervous laugh that falls from your mouth. Because even though it doesn’t look too deep, the wound still is terrifying in and of itself.
“I’ll bandage it,” you whisper. “Before we go.”
He seems like he ponders for a time. You watch the debate across his features, his eyes falling to a spot on your chin. He looks sad, troubled and defeated. “I can’t… I can’t do this to you.”
You ignore his words, carefully washing his side. You avoid the cut and try to be as gentle as you can, but his muscles still flex as he clenches his fists from the pain.
He’s strong. That much hasn’t changed. Because he doesn’t make any sound as you finish washing him and then patch him up with those same careful hands. And when you move to his face, cleaning the blood, his eyes flutter shut, and he sighs softly.
He looks so much like he looked then that your heart aches, and you find yourself blinking away tears for this man who’s had it so rough he believed joining a gang would save him.
“I should have come to you before,” he murmurs. “You’re much gentler than Hongjoong.”
You don’t know the guy he mentioned, and you don’t feel like asking. Don’t feel like acknowledging his words, so you just finish with his cheek before stepping away from the peaceful aura that was treacherously pulling you in.
Like all those years ago, you reckon.
“Let me make a call,” you say, turning away from him as you move to the counter. You feel the weight of his eyes between your shoulder blades as you get your phone from next to your laptop. You call your boss, and as someone that’s never called in sick before, you feel anxiety flush through you.
Because you’re not sick. And how could you tell him that you need to take care of your ex-boyfriend of eight years ago?
Seokhyun picks up on the first ring, voice groggy with sleep when he mutters, “Hello?”
“Boss,” you greet him. You scrape your throat and spare a look towards San who’s watching you curiously. “An emergency came up, and I have to leave the diner.” You swallow the lump in your throat that’s formed from lying, and then you add, “There haven’t been any customers all night, so I was wondering… would you be comfortable with me closing for the rest of the night?”
Your boss says your name, a little reproachfully. But then he sighs, because he knows just as well as you what a good employee you’ve always been. “Are you going to be able to come in tomorrow night?” he asks.
You pull at dry skin on your bottom lip, assessing San’s state. You could always come back to the city for work…
“You know what, I know you’ve got that big exam coming up,” your boss says, sighing into the phone. “Why don’t you take the next week off so you can take care of your emergency and focus on your studies?”
If Seokhyun wasn’t a fifty-three year old married and father of three children man, you think you’d ask him to marry you right now.
“That would be really helpful,” you tell him, gratitude dripping from your voice. “Are you sure that won’t be a problem for the diner?”
“The diner won’t lose profit if it closes for three nights in the week,” he points out. “I’ll see if I can get you replaced for the evening shift on Sunday.”
You thank him again as he grumbles that it’s nothing. He wishes you good luck, and when the line goes silent, you finally meet San’s gaze again.
“All sorted out,” you tell him, offering him a nod. “Let me just close the diner, and then we can go.”
He nods, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. He observes you as you do so, quickly closing the diner like you’ve done about a hundred times before, though this time you’re far more excited to go. You grab a plastic bag to put away the bloody swabs, and though he groans in pain, San gets up to help you clean the blood that stained the cheap leather of the booth.
Soon enough, you’re ready to go, and you walk outside with the plastic bag in one hand and your backpack on your shoulders as San chuckles, looking down at himself.
“Do you have a shirt for me?” he asks as he follows you out.
You lock the door behind you before glancing at him. He’s quite the sight, naked from the waist up and bandaged like he is, and you can’t help the small chuckle you let out as you glance towards your car, that’s luckily parked right in front.
Though it’s a deadbeat car, you trust it enough to know it’ll make the trip to your uncle’s cabin, even in the middle of the night.
“My ex left some sweaters on the back seat,” you admit as you unlock your car doors and open the trunk to put your backpack and the plastic bag in there. There’s no chance in hell you’ll leave a plastic bag full of bloody swabs near your work.
You see San nod from the periphery of your vision, and then he’s opening the door to the backseat. “Your ex, huh?” he mutters as he grabs a sweater you used to love wearing and that you haven’t convinced yourself to give back to Hyunmin.
He carefully puts it on, and you’re pretty sure just the motion is going to make blood seep through the bandage. Somehow, you don’t care that it might stain Hyunmin’s sweater.
Hyunmin was a cheater, and even though you never really loved him, it took you months before you found the strength to break up with him. Needless to say, he doesn’t deserve his clothes back.
“Yeah,” you flatly say as you move towards the driver’s seat. You sit, and San follows you, naturally, as if you’ve done it a thousand times before.
As you turn the keys in the engine, San asks, “Have you dated a lot?”
You bristle at the question, shooting him an embarrassed look. “Have you?”
“No,” he replies, features fully serious.
You purse your lips, focusing on the road as you start driving. You need to put gas in the car if you want to get to your uncle’s cabin, so you make your way towards the closest one. It takes you a moment before you register how San has stiffened next to you.
“Can we…” he trails off, and he sinks in the seat, trying to hide. “I can’t be seen here.”
You immediately press on the accelerator, and your car speeds down the street as you pass in front of the gas station. You glance at San only when you’re stopped at a red light. He’s pulled the hood of the sweater over his features, and he’s doing his best to hide.
“Where can we stop?” you ask.
“Next town over,” he answers. “I just can’t be seen in Bangtan territory.”
Right. You have no knowledge of how the gangs have divided your city, but you’re not surprised Bangtan has this part of town. It’s the industrial area, and you assume there’s a lot of money to be made around here.
“Sounds good,” you gently say, and then you’re driving again, the light turning green, allowing you to speed away into the night.
You drive silently all the way to the next town, watching your city disappear to be replaced by trees until buildings reappear. San is looking outside the window, and you can’t help but wonder how he’s been doing, truly. How he managed to get injured like he is right now, and mostly, if his dreams of running away still occupy his thoughts.
He had begged you, the evening you had broken up with him. Told you he’d make enough money to be able to move with you across the country and build yourself a nice little life over there. You had wanted to believe him for so long, until your parents had opened your eyes on just how he was trying to make money.
“Do you need anything?” you ask as you finally reach the gas station, pulling into the driveway. You park next to a pump, turning to face him only to find him already watching you.
“I don’t have money to pay for food,” he admits. He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I lost my wallet in the… altercation.”
You gently put a hand on his forearm. “Hey, my treat. We have to eat.”
He inhales deeply, letting out the breath slowly, before he nods. “Alright. I owe you.”
You reckon he’ll owe you for a lot more than just food at a gas station, but you choose not to say it. Not when you feel like someone’s watching over your shoulder, watching you drive away in the night with the person they are looking for.
You know it’s paranoia. No one followed you out of the city and into this town. It just feels too strange to have him here, with you. In your car, on the way to your uncle’s cabin, as if eight years have gone out the window. As if you can still be young and innocent.
It’s stupid, because you can’t. Time has changed him; time has changed you. And in just a few years you’ll be a doctor, and you’ll finally get out of this hellhole of a city, of its dangerous streets.
Of its equally dangerous man, that you know could probably pull you back in with one of his many well-crafted lies, one of the dreams he weaved expertly, whispering it into your ear.
You take a deep breath before getting out of the car. You go into the station, grab snacks for the next few days and then head to the counter. The guy behind nods as you approach, and you pay for the food and for gas before wishing him a good night and returning outside. San is still squatting in the car, clearly trying to hide, and you put the food on the backseat before putting gas in.
You watch his profile as you put gas in the car. Back when you were dating, his features weren’t as sharp, as glass-cutting as they now are. He used to sport a rounder face, but today you wonder if you’d get a papercut on his jaw. You wouldn’t even be surprised.
When you’re done with gas, you sit back next to him, and you quickly bring the engine back to life before pulling out in the street. As soon as you exit the city, darkness falls on the two of you, tall trees standing on the two sides of the road again. San doesn’t speak much, and it doesn’t take you long to realize he’s dozing off next to you.
“Hey, everything okay?” you ask, suddenly worried that he might have lost too much blood. Which, you reckon, you should have thought about earlier.
He sighs, glancing towards you. “Just tired.”
“Don’t…” you trail off. “Don’t fall asleep.”
He chuckles. “You’re afraid I’m going to die on you?”
“Choi San,” you warn. “Don’t you dare say stuff like that.”
He smiles, but you reckon he’s a little pale. Or at least you think he is, in the silver light of the moon up above. “I think I’m fine. Just…” He offers you a weak smile, though you’ve returned your attention on the winding road. “Just exhausted. I haven’t slept in three days.”
Worry clutches your heart, and you nibble at some dry skin on your bottom lip. “What’s been going on?”
He slightly shrugs. “I can’t tell you. I don’t want to put you in danger…”
“Am I not already in danger by just helping you?”
The silence is telling enough. And it remains for a while until San finally speaks.
“I was in a gunfight a week ago. Accidentally shot the youngest member of the other gang. He didn’t make it, and the gang has put a bounty on my head. Ateez took my gun and told me to run; I laughed in their face and said I wasn’t a coward. Then I got attacked by two guys with knives earlier, and I made it to the diner because I had nowhere else to go.”
Now the silence is deafening, heavy, and you think you’ve altogether stopped breathing. You’re struck with an image of San in the summer sun, smiling wide as he put a flower behind your ear, claiming you were the most beautiful girl he had ever met. The contrast with who he is now – a product of night, shrouded in darkness with no hint of that smile on his lips – is stark. And you wonder when’s the last time he has seen the sun, when’s the last time his life wasn’t violence like this.
When you say nothing, he scoffs, resting his head against the window as if it’d allow him to escape. Because clearly he wants to escape – he’s just told you that he’s killed someone after all.
And you don’t know what to say. Don’t know how to react to someone confessing murder. All you can do is stare at the street ahead, hoping you won’t end up in a gunfight with San. Because where would that lead you, other than in the dramatics of death?
You don’t speak for the rest of the ride. You don’t think he sleeps either, and dawn is clinging to the far horizon when you get to your uncle’s cabin, in a secluded forest that seems straight out of a fairytale. Instead of bringing you awe like it usually does, the sight of it makes you think of all the murder mysteries you had been obsessed with when you were younger, before you realized how horrible the real world truly is.
Neither of you move, as you turn off the engine of the car, and you fall into even more of a tensed silence, though this time you can hear the chirping of the early birds. It’s peaceful, so peaceful you can barely even grasp how tangible the presence of San is next to you. The presence of his actions too, looming between the two of you like a sword of Damocles.
You move first. Putting a hand on the knob, hoping to escape the heaviness into the dawn. San speaks before you can though, and your heart stops in your chest.
“I never meant for him to get hurt,” he murmurs, and you think he’s speaking to himself more than to you. “Everything went too fast, my gun was in my hand and I just… in situations like these, you don’t have time to think.” He leans his head against the headrest, eyes closing. “All I can picture since it’s happened is him falling and blood. Like a fucking blossoming rose, all around him.” He rests his closed fist on his forehead, rubbing it hard. “I haven’t been able to sleep; I’ve been sick every time I’ve tried to eat…”
“San,” you interrupt as you break and break for him. Because this is the San you know. This is the young boy that just wanted to escape and live in a better world. You can almost taste his remorse, taste his regret and shame. It’s poisonous, treacherous, a slippery slope that can’t lead anywhere good. “Let’s get you in. I want to get that cut on your ribs checked.”
He falls silent, and for a moment you feel guilty. Because what if he had more to say? You don’t even think you would have been able to listen. You need the escape, and you know he’ll permit it. Because the man next to you is a broken man, a fracture of what he could have been.
You step out of the car, blinking away tears – from the anxiety, from the exhaustion, and perhaps even from the pain you feel for him. He follows you, wincing as he swings his legs out of the car. He stumbles a little as he stands, but soon enough, he grows steady on his feet, and his attention moves to you. You climb the stairs of the cabin, lifting the rug to find the small trap that leads to the spare key. The padlock is rusted, but it stands strong as you put in the code, and a click is heard when you pull on it.
A few seconds later, you’ve unlocked the front door, pushing it open to reveal the cabin as you remember it. Not a single item is out of place, though dust covers everything, a clear indication that no one has been here in years. You let San in, before going back to the car to get the food you bought, bringing it in and putting it in the fridge. Three full gas canisters hide under the counter, and you sigh in relief – you’ll be able to get the generator on for some electricity.
You motion to the kitchen table. “Have a seat,” you tell San, who somehow looks like a lost puppy. “I’ll get the first aid kit.”
He nods, remaining silent, eyes downcast. You only move when he’s seated, heading to the bathroom area of the cabin, where you startle a spider that almost makes you scream out loud. You keep it in, heart beating out of your chest as you get the kit before moving back into the main area.
San is leaning against the chair, eyes closed. He senses you approaching, and one of his eyes cracks open to watch you carefully, a little like he did earlier, at the diner. It looks so similar to how he used to look at you, when you joined him at the field, that you stop in your tracks, heart squeezing once again.
You don’t like the way Choi San is making you feel, that’s for sure.
“Take off the sweater,” you tell him, putting the kit down on the table. You put some clean linen next to it, to put what you need over it, before washing your hands with the disinfectant you find in the kit. You put latex gloves on after, and then you fish wire and a surgical needle from the first aid kit that you carefully put down on the linen once you’ve torn the packages open.
As you were doing all of that, San took off the shirt, struggling a little as it meant he had to lift his right arm, which pulled at the skin of his ribs, where the cut clearly has started bleeding again. Though, if you’re honest to yourself, you’re pretty sure he’s been bleeding this whole time, even though it probably was just some fine rivulets.
Indeed, the cut isn’t all that deep, you remind yourself. Mostly because you don’t want to even think about the consequences of the blood loss. As long as he stays awake, you figure he’s fine – he would have lost consciousness a while ago if he was losing a lot of blood.
You remove the bandage you had carefully put in place earlier, wincing at the sight of the blood that’s seeped through it. San keeps his eyes close, lets you clean his skin again in peace, and you feel sick to your stomach as you realize you don’t have any anesthetics for the pain that stitching him up will cause. Indeed, the pocket in which your uncle usually leaves the lidocaine is empty, and you remember that he’s had to use it for your dad when he accidentally cut himself with a machete last summer.
“Huh,” you let out. You chuckle nervously. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch.”
His eyes narrow, and he clenches his jaw. “Don’t worry about it.”
You worry at your bottom lip, holding his gaze as you gauge if he’s serious. When his gaze doesn’t falter, you offer him a curt nod, before getting the wire and needle ready under his watchful eyes.
You hand him some linen. “To bite on,” you explain as he just cocks an eyebrow quizzically. That makes his gaze widen a little as if he’s just now realizing how serious you were about it hurting, but he takes it nonetheless.
You think about the theory of how to stitch someone up. It was in your previous block – you watched hours of videos of it in an attempt to desensitize yourself to it. You don’t think it compares to the real thing, but at least you’re somehow confident of what you’re doing when you start.
San startles, groaning in pain, and you offer him a glare. “Don’t move, or it’ll be worse.”
A drop of sweat rolls down his temple, but he still nods. Even as you keep on stitching him, he remains as still as he physically can, though you don’t think he even notices how he’s trembling. Or maybe that’s you – you don’t even know.
Somehow, you make it through the whole thing. You think San might have passed out at some point, but he’s wide awake when you finish the knot to keep the stitches in place, looking up to meet his face.
He’s panting and tears of pain wet his waterline. He blinks them away as he takes the linen out of his mouth, dropping it on the table.
“Fuck,” he curses.
“Let me…” you trail off, mind set on getting something to at least help him cool off, because he’s clearly been heating up.
You grab a washcloth and a small bucket, and head outside to walk down to the lake. You fill the bucket halfway, and take a few seconds to observe the calm surrounding you, hoping that it can ease the nerves rolling inside your heart like dark clouds do on the horizon whenever a storm is coming. You feel it in your bones – you have a murderer in your uncle’s cabin.
You have to keep that in mind. To not let Choi San in like you did when you were a young impressionable teenager.
You sigh, closing your eyes to breathe in the fresh morning air. The sun is peaking over the horizon now, and you bask in its hesitant rays for all of twenty seconds before you convince yourself to go back in. You’ve got a patient to take care of, after all.
San hasn’t moved an inch while you were outside. The only indication that he hasn’t died on you is the groan he lets out as you put the wet washcloth on his forehead. You tap his cheek gently, as if to say, ‘suck it up, I’m just trying to take care of you’.
Which is exactly what you’re doing, isn’t it?
You watch him carefully for a few seconds before tapping his shoulder this time around.
“There’s a bed,” you remind him. “You’d be better passing out in a bed.”
He groans again, cracking an eye open. “I’ve just been repeatedly poked with a needle,” he drawls. “Give me a second.”
It makes you laugh. Because of the nerves, maybe. You’re not quite sure. All you know is that you’re laughing, and San opens his second eye to look at you as if you’re crazy. And you laugh for longer than you should – you’re exhausted after all, especially considering you haven’t slept since yesterday morning. So far, adrenaline has been keeping you going, but you can tell you’re about to crash.
“Sorry,” you apologize once you calm down. “This has just been…”
“A lot,” San finishes for you. “I know.”
You nod once before glancing at the doorway to the bedroom. It has no door, as your uncle and your dad usually come here alone and they don’t mind sharing a bed. It makes you realize that you’ll have to share it with San, which you reckon you should have thought about before. Because there’s no way in hell you’ll share a bed with him, especially after he’s told you why he’s being hunted.
There’s always the option of going into town later today so you can get a sleeping bag and floor mat to sleep on. But you’re far too tired right now to even consider driving, so you motion to the bed once again.
“Stick to your side; I’ll stick to mine.”
He smirks though he’s extremely pale. A lot paler than he was before, and you swallow a sudden lump in your throat. Because what if he dies? What are you supposed to do with him if he dies?
“You’ll have to help me to get to the bed ‘cause I don’t think I can move,” he says once his smirk dies. He curses under his breath. “I’m so pathetic.”
You put your hand on his shoulder again, reassuringly, eyes holding his. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re hurt. Everyone is pathetic when they’re hurt.”
He gulps before nodding once. It takes everything in you not to offer him more comfort because you feel like the slope would tilt forwards far too much if you did. Instead, you help him to get up, wincing as he puts most of his weight on you, clutching his side with one hand. You’re infinitely aware of how his skin is sticky with sweat, but you ignore it as you slowly walk to the bedroom.
You can only hope the stitches will hold because you don’t think he’d be able to withstand another round of them.
You finally reach the bedroom and help San sit on the side of the bed. He sighs, eyes shut tightly, and he doesn’t move for a time. When he does, it’s to stiffly lie down on his side.
“You might want to sleep on your back,” you inform him. “I don’t want you rolling around and messing up the stitches.”
He glares at you, though he looks like he’s already half out of it. You hold his gaze until he gives in, turning on his back with a deep sigh. You arrange pillows around him to make sure he’s not moving, and by the time you’re done, his breathing has already evened out.
For a moment, you just watch him sleep. You see him in the field where young love blossomed like a trillion wildflowers. You can almost breathe his pollen again, can almost feel the softness of his skin under your fingertips.
But he’s not what he used to be. Back then, you felt like you had discovered something new. Love, infatuation, affection, and desire, all in the form of the man sleeping next to you. You’d used to kiss, dance and sing to a song only your souls knew, and now you don’t think you recognize him anymore.
As much as he is him, he’s also but just the ghost of what he was. He’s trouble, danger in the shape of innocence, and you recall his words from earlier. You recall the despair, the regret and sorrow that haunted him after he told you. You can’t let him get to your head.
You reckon sleep might help. Though you’re afraid he’s going to waste away in his sleep, so you set up an alarm every hour, before climbing on the other side of the bed. You don’t pull on the covers, mostly because the cabin is warm, and you can imagine it’s just going to get hotter as the sun goes up and the summer heat slowly sizzles into the countryside.
It’s a good thing you put an alarm on. Because when it rings an hour later, you don’t even remember falling asleep. You’re pretty sure the second your head touched the mattress, you were out to the land of dreams. You groan, mostly because you’ve got a slight headache, but you power through it to make sure San is still breathing.
When you see his chest moving up and down steadily, you let yourself fall back asleep.
This goes on for the whole morning, and you only force yourself to stay up when your phone shows that it’s passed noon. As you had suspected earlier, the cabin has gotten extremely warm, so you force yourself out of bed to open all the windows, and then you use the washcloth from earlier to gently wash San’s face of the sweat.
He doesn’t even flinch in his sleep, but he’s still breathing and for now, that’s all that matters.
You head back to the main room, grabbing a pack of chips from where you had left the food earlier, and then you move outside to sit by the lake. Mostly because you need to put distance between you and San, but also just because the childhood memories of this place have you in their hold, and they’ve decided to make you miss the times when you’d swim around with your cousins before both of them had moved out of town.
One day, it’s going to be you too. You already know where you’d go – on the other side of the country, as far away from here as possible. You just want to forget all about the place you grew up in, and you know that, in a few years, you will have forgotten.
Though you’re pretty sure a certain piercing gaze will haunt you forever, especially after the events of today.
When another hour passes, you head back inside, putting the empty bag of chips in the trash before you check up on San. He’s still asleep, but this time he doesn’t look as pale as he did earlier. You assume it’s going to take him a while before he wakes, so you head to the nearest town to grab more food. Mostly to busy yourself, but also just because you know San will need a place to hide for a lot longer than just the weekend. Might as well make sure you have enough for him to survive a couple of days. In town, you also stop to eat at a small café on a small terrasse in the shade of a few trees, and then you grab the food you think you might need at the grocery store.
It’s the middle of the afternoon when you get back, realizing that you forgot to buy a floor mat. As you spy San, who hasn’t moved an inch since he’s fallen asleep, you figure that sleeping next to him tonight should be fine.
As long as his presence in your vicinity doesn’t drag you down memory lane again.
You bought some meat in town, so you head to the little shack outside where the generator is hiding. There’s a gas canister right next to it – also full – and you busy yourself for the next twenty minutes trying to figure out how to get it started. When it finally rumbles to life, you head back inside to put the meat in the fridge, which has finally come to life.
When you hear a groan, you quickly jog to San’s side, fully expecting to find him awake. Surprisingly, he’s still asleep, and you stay next to him for a full minute, thinking he might groan again, though he remains entirely silent.
If it wasn’t for his chest moving up and down steadily, you’d believe him to be dead. But now that a few hours have passed, you’re pretty positive he’ll make it, though he’s probably going to sleep through the day and possibly through the next one too.
Which leaves you in the most peaceful atmosphere you’ve been in for a while, with the opportunity to study as you listen to the rush of wind in the leaves of the tall trees surrounding the cabin. You sit outside, this time near the fireplace, and you study until your stomach grumbles, indicating that it is time for you to cook.
You cook the meat you’ve bought on the grill outside, feeling thankful that your dad once showed you how to use it. You go back in to grab a bottle of water before you eat, and you’re bent in the fridge when you hear San moan again, and this time it sounds like he’s saying something.
You gently close the fridge, making your way to the bedroom. San hasn’t moved, but his features are creased in a frown, and sweat is rolling down his temples. You wet the washcloth, gently wipe his face, and you’re about to leave when he moans again.
It takes you far too long to realize he’s apologizing. What for, you can’t really tell. Though you remember his troubled eyes this morning, you remember his story, and your heart breaks in your chest.
He’s haunted. You think the ghost of the dead guy will probably haunt him for the rest of his life. And suddenly you’re struck thinking maybe, maybe if you hadn’t broken his heart all those years ago, you could have saved him from the gang.
Maybe you could have opened his eyes.
You still remember the break-up like it was yesterday. You remember the rain, him leaving without once looking back, but mostly you remember the words you had uttered. Ghosts of their own, that feel more real now that he’s come back into your life.
*****
                “You’re going to get hurt!” you yelled. “You’ll get hurt, San. What are you thinking?”
He scoffed, shaking his head, and little droplets of water shot all around him. “I’ll be careful. We need the money if we ever want to make it out of this shit town.”
You blinked away tears, folding your arms on your chest as you tried to keep your heart from breaking. Though you reckoned it had broken when your parents had told you what they knew about San. When your father had mentioned Ateez, and you’d truly realized what it meant that he was part of a gang. San, your sweet, soft, and bubbly San, in a gang that had murdered someone just a few weeks ago.
“But that’s not a way to make money!” you screamed, hoping he’d understand. Hoping he’d hear the truth in your words, hoping he’d change his mind before it was too late. “Why don’t you get a part-time job, like me? Then we can go to college and get jobs in a nice city on the other side of the country!”
“It won’t work,” he drawled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I want to be out soon, not in a few years. I barely even have a roof over my head, Y/n…”
“Come live with me,” you choked out around the lump in your throat.
You both knew fully well that your parents would never let him come near you again.
“I can’t.”
You cried, hiding your face in your hands. You cried thinking of the field where you usually met, thinking about its beauty now fading into ugliness. You thought about the wildflowers, withered and dead as autumn had come. You thought about how you were convinced you knew what love was.
“What’s the point?” you asked then. “What’s the point of putting your life in danger? Life isn’t some sort of a game, Choi San. Worse, what if you have to hurt someone? Do you think you’ll be able to pull the trigger?”
He clenched his jaw, hard. “Do me a favour and stop asking questions.”
You closed your eyes, feeling sick to your stomach. Because it couldn’t be. Not San. Not your smiley San, who’d always weave dandelions crowns with you, as you’d pretend you were a queen and a king of that field you had found. An empty field, an abandoned farmland that was just yours and his to explore. That had been home to your first kiss, and all of those that had followed.
Now you wondered why he had always wanted to meet there in the first place. Was he trying to hide?
"If you love me, you’ll get out while you still can,” you said as your tears suddenly ended.
There was a weird sense of clarity in you, suddenly. You remembered the day you had fallen in love, the moment you had first kissed. You remembered the stars in the sky above, the meteors falling for the two of you. You remembered the music on the radio you had brought. Some Arctic Monkeys song about heartbreak, about moving on and failing to do so. As a joke, when it had ended, you had asked San, “Do you think love is a laserquest?”
His answer had been cryptic, mysterious, things that had made you believe he was the one. “Maybe. Maybe it is, and I’ve shot you in the back while you weren’t looking. Maybe I’m that annoying player that won’t leave you alone.”
“I’ll never find you annoying,” you had replied.
But today, watching the rain rolling down his face like tears, you realized that maybe, maybe you should have seen the warning behind his words. Because this betrayal, it came like he had shot you in the back – you didn’t think you’d be able to recover from it.
The past dwindled away as San spoke again, reminding you of the question you had just asked him. “It’s not a question of love, Y/n. I do love you. But it’s a question of survival.”
You laughed, coldly, and then you said, “You know what? You’re full of shit.”
“Alright then. Do me a favour and tell me to go away.”
“Go away.”
A long silence had lingered between you, voided of that summer warmth that had you falling in love. Like a piece was missing from the contract of you loving him, and him loving you. And you realized, maybe you had never really loved each other anyway.
He nodded once when you didn’t say anything else, before turning away. And you watched him walk away. You watched him thinking he was going to turn around and tell you this was just some twisted joke, the prank of the century. Only, he never turned around, and he disappeared behind the bend in the road, never to be seen again, cracking your heart open and splitting it in half.
*****
                The sun sets, like an ending to a dream. You’ve always liked the end – you think if you could choose, you’d want to witness the end of the world. The nostalgia, the beauty of endings… it’s something you understand now that you didn’t understand when you were younger. Because you and San ending, it had led to you focusing on high school. It had allowed you to get in the good college in town, with a scholarship that covered most of your expenses before you made it to med school.
There’s beauty in knowing losing San has allowed you to live out your dreams.
There’s less beauty in knowing that San has been sleeping for almost thirty-four hours now. Last time you checked, he was still breathing, but you’re starting to be afraid that he just won’t wake up. It’s irrational, you know – after the blood loss it makes sense that he’d sleep for a long time.
But it leaves you with far too much time on your hands to think and revisit the past. You’ve been doing it all day – thinking about the fight with your parents that had led to your break-up with San, thinking about that damn rainy evening he had walked away without once looking back. Thinking of the field, of sunshine and star falls and the sweetness of a first kiss. Thinking that, then, you thought you knew what it was like to be in love.
You haven’t dated anyone serious since San. Hyunmin was a distraction for a while, but you never were into it. Not like you were into San. There’s a guy in your class though, that you’ve been chatting with for a couple of weeks. He’s sweet, innocent, and the perspective of a future seems less scary with him around. He’s mentioned he wants to move across the country once too, and since then you’ve started talking more, the similarity of your wishes drawing you closer.
All day today you’ve been feeling like you’re slowly drifting away though. Slowly getting entrapped in a web you’re not sure you’ll be able to walk away from.
You decide to swim, seeking the fresh clarity only cold water can bring to you. You don’t have a swimsuit with you, but since San is half-dead in bed you figure it doesn’t matter. So you strip naked, feet making squelching sounds in the mud by the lake side as you step in the water.
The sharp cold has you holding your breath, but you don’t slow down. You’ve never slowed down in life – when you make a decision, you bring it to completion. And you’ve decided to swim, so swim you will.
The warm summer evening breeze catches in your hair as you take another step forward, the water now lapping at your thighs. You dread the moment it’ll hit your core, knowing that that’s the worst part, but you breathe in deeply, moving forward. Because there’s no moving backwards now.
When the water hits, your eyes flutter shut, and you hold in the wince that threatens to escape the mask of calm your features hold. Soon enough, you get deep enough to swim, and the movements bring welcomed warmth to your limbs as you flop on your back, tits out of the water.
Your uncle’s cabin is the only cabin in a fifteen miles radius. You know you won’t be interrupted, and so you let the water cool you down. Calm you down, hold you in its fresh embrace. It undoes knots in your back that have formed from worrying about San, but also from worrying about college.
From worrying that you will never be enough. You think it’s a normal anxiety to have, something most people must feel as they go through the trials of college, not knowing what to expect on the other side. A nice career, perhaps, though the perspective of failure is there too, looming over the horizon.
You sigh, and your eyes flutter open as your legs move mindlessly under you, making sure to keep you afloat. You look up at the azury ceiling over your head, so far away as it slowly turns gold. Out of touch, out of grasp. You watch the fluffy white clouds that are lazily crossing the sky, turning fiery in the sunset, as if they have all the time in the universe. And you wish you were them, up above. With nothing to worry about.
Without a Choi San on the brink of death lying about twenty meters away from you. You sigh, and you turn in the water, with the purpose of swimming again. Though your gaze catches movement by the cabin, and your head snaps towards it to see none other than the supposedly Choi San, standing on the deck with a hand clutching his side.
You shriek, looking down at yourself. Most of you is hidden, but you don’t know how long he’s been there. Don’t know if he’s seen you naked as you looked up at the sky.
He doesn’t move, only watches you where you’re swimming.
“Can you please look away?” you say from the water, and he has the nerves to lean against the railing, eyes still boring into where you’re swimming. You think his gaze might be so hot the water will boil, and it startles you into action.
You start walking out of the water, pointing towards the door. “You shouldn’t be up, Choi San.”
“I feel fine,” he says as you take another step forward, and the water barely hides your tits anymore.
That makes him turn around, as he offers you a little bit of privacy. You’re quick to get out of the water and wrap yourself in the towel you brought outside, and then you collect your clothes to head back to the cabin. San dutifully keeps his gaze away until you’re climbing the three steps leading to the deck, and it’s then that his eyes trail to you again.
“Thank you for the water,” he says, offering you a tentative smile.
You left water by his bedside earlier today hoping it will coax him to wake up. You’re strangely surprised that it worked.
“You should go sit inside,” you scold him, only half-heartedly. Because seeing him up and about reassures you, somehow.
He cocks an eyebrow, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “The weather is beautiful, I’d rather sit outside.”
You roll your eyes, but you do let him walk down the stairs to sit by the fireplace while you go inside to take a quick shower and get dressed. You decide to make some food for him, though you know he shouldn’t eat too much right now, after not having eaten for a while. He has to start slowly, and you don’t even know if he’s hungry anyway.
You settle for preparing a cup of chicken noodle soup for him, so at least it isn’t too heavy on his stomach. You bring it to him outside, as he’s just calmly observing the lake.
“Thank you,” he says, voice small as he grabs the cup and the spoon.
You sit next to him, trying not to watch him eat too much. His hair is sticking to his forehead in some places, and you have the distinct thought that he’ll probably need to shower. At least there’s plenty of rain water in the bucket for the water pump.
“What have you been doing while I was out?” he asks.
You spare him a quick glance before losing your gaze in the rocks of the fireplace. “I’ve studied. Checked up on you. Not much honestly.”
He chuckles. “I’d argue that caring for someone is a lot.”
You glance at him, cheeks burning at the sight of his teasing smile. “Not really.”
He chuckles again, but doesn’t say anything more before eating another spoonful of soup. He’s almost done with the cup when he actually does speak, asking, “How long was I out?”
“A day and a half,” you answer. “I’m actually surprised you haven’t slept longer.”
You can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, “I’m made of tough stuff.”
You snicker, but you don’t say anything, just focusing on where you’re kicking at the dirt. When he’s done with the cup, he puts it down on the ground next to him, before sitting back in the chair. He stretches out his legs in front of him, sighing deeply.
“I still feel out of it,” he admits, and you meet his gaze.
“You can sleep more,” you tell him. “I’d just like to check on the…”
You don’t even have to finish your sentence. He immediately turns so his side is to you, and you have to admit you’ve done a perfectly good job with the stitches.
“So?” he asks.
“All good.” You pat his shoulder. “You can sit comfortably again.”
He’s smiling when he does so, and his gaze wanders to the lake once again. “I’m sorry I…” he trails off, and he chuckles softly. “I’m sorry I interrupted your little swim earlier.”
You have the decency to flush furiously red, and you shrug your shoulders. “No worries, I wasn’t expecting you to be up so soon.”
You fall in a comfortable silence, surprisingly so. Rare stars dot the darkening sky up above, and all that can be heard for a moment is the flap of a bird’s wing as it moves from branches to branches in the trees by the water. The breeze picks up as you watch the little bird, and the leaves dance, loudly so. You’d think it’d be deafening in the silence between you and him, but it’s strangely reassuring.
As if, after all, you found your way back to the field. Only this time it’s completely different, as if decades have passed between you. At least, that’s how it feels like.
You notice San has dozed off in the chair next to you when you were about to speak to him again. To ask him how he’s truly been, in the years between then and now. Hoping to avoid mentioning what led to him coming to you, yesterday, a whole eternity ago.
You watch him, heart aching in your chest. Aching to reach out and brush his hair away from his forehead, aching to heal the cut on his cheek with a gentle swipe of your fingers. If only medicine was so simple…
It seems the peace of the early evening wasn’t going to stay around, because you notice dark clouds rolling in the distance, streaks of lightning cutting through them. Slowly inching closer, menacingly so, and you gently wake San up with your hand on his wrist.
He startles awake, hand shooting to his waist, finding nothing there. It startles you, and you both stare at each other for a moment until you realize what he was looking for.
His gun.
“San…” you let out and he runs his hand through his hair, eyes falling shut as he breathes in and out raggedly.
“Sorry.”
“San, I’m so sorry.”
He doesn’t open his eyes, refuses to let you see the vulnerability you glimpsed behind his piercing gaze. Refuses to acknowledge that he’s terrified, deadly so.
“Let’s go in,” you tell him, softly. Because you’re afraid you’ll spook him, when he’s clearly been living in fear long enough. “There’s a storm coming.”
He nods, carefully getting up without sparing you a glance. He heads inside, hand clutching his side again, while you pick up the chicken noodle soup cup before following him.
You’ve refilled the generator before swimming, so you know it’s been charging the batteries for a while now. You don’t fear ending up in the dark with San, and there’s also always the option of using the lamps and candles your uncle always leave here in case of an emergency.
The storm doesn’t roll in until a little later. You’ve forced San to put a shirt on – mostly so your eyes would stop betraying you, dropping to his toned body whenever he talked to you. You’re currently sitting on the couch, and as the rain starts, hammering against the window behind you, you pull your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms comfortably around them.
“How hard do the storms hit here?” he asks, eyes trailed to the world outside.
You follow his gaze, right as wind picks up to make the water hit the window even harder, creating a cacophony that forces you to speak louder for him to hear. “Pretty hard.”
He nods, and he glances once at you. “Fun.”
You smile, because you’ve always liked storms. Have always found them electrifying, energizing.
“Do you remember when we used to go to the field when it rained?” San asks, taking you by surprise.
Making your heart clench so hard in your chest you have to take a wobbly breath in. If he notices he doesn’t say.
“We were always in that field,” you remind him. “No matter the weather.”
It’s his turn to smile fondly. “It got so pretty with all the wildflowers. But you were afraid of the bees.”
“Bees are scary!” You laugh, and he echoes it with a soft chuckle. “You’re the one that almost pissed yourself when we saw the rat.”
That makes him laugh, and he winces in pain clutching his side. “Gosh, is it supposed to keep on hurting like this?”
It douses your enthusiasm and your smile falls. “Well, it was a solid cut.”
His eyes get lost in the void as he takes on a wistful expression. “I’m surprised I didn’t die.”
You gulp, watching his profile carefully. “It wasn’t deep enough for that…” you trail off, even though you spent most of yesterday and today being convinced he’d die. “At least they didn’t… stab you.”
“They would have if… Wooyoung didn’t shoot.”
You remain silent, not knowing what to reply to that. San interprets that as discomfort, and he quickly adds, “He didn’t shoot them. Just… in the air. It attracted the police.”
You remember the cars zooming past the diner a lifetime ago, and you nod your head. “I heard.”
He seems surprised, and his gaze finally finds yours again. “You did?”
“Yeah.” You chuckle, a little awkwardly. “I hear a lot of shootings, in the diner.”
His eyes widen, mouth falling open cutely. “You do?”
You don’t know what he expected. The diner is right between Ateez and Bangtan territory, and as much as it is a safe space, it is also near enough to dangerous grounds, and you’ve heard plenty of shooting in your time working there.
“Always,” you admit. “It can get scary sometimes… but you also get used to it.”
He looks sad. Infinitely so, like a lost puppy. That’s when the first thunder hits, so sharp and sudden you startle. Not quite as much as San, who ducks, wincing in pain as he clutches his side.
“Shit,” he curses. “Sorry.”
“What’s wrong?” you ask, in time with another thunderclap, though this time it’s more of a rumble.
You watch his chest as he breathes in and out quickly. “Just… fuck.”
Now, concern grows in you, and you gently put a hand on his shoulder. “San…”
He meets your gaze, and there’s so much white in his it makes you think of a terrified prey. And then it clicks: he thought it was a gunshot.
“Hey,” you quickly say, moving closer to him. You’re on the side of the stitches, so you still keep a safe distance between the two of you, but you grab his hand nonetheless. “You’re okay.”
“Fuck,” is all he’s able to say.
“I promise, no one’s going to find you here.”
He remains silent this time around, eyes still boring into yours. You take that as a cue to continue, because you don’t want him to panic. You want his thoughts here, with you, and not miles away in a city he should have escaped from years ago. You wish he had, knowing the atrocities that he would have avoided.
Would he have escaped with you, had you stayed just a little longer?
“I killed someone,” he says, and you balk at the silver lining his gaze. “I fucking killed him.”
You don’t know how to help. All you can think to do is cup his cheek, right as he starts breathing even faster. “Breathe with me, San.”
He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes fall to your mouth. You make a good show of inhaling slowly, before exhaling even slower. It takes him a moment but he eventually follows your lead.
It breaks when there’s another sharp thunderclap, and he flinches, eyes shutting instinctively.
“Hey hey hey,” you say again, even more gentle, softer than before. You move even closer, and when a tear slips out of his closed eyes, you pull him into a hug, careful not to brush his side.
His head falls on your shoulder, and one of his arms wrap around your waist. A thunderclap later, he starts sobbing, fist balling the fabric of your shirt in his tight hold, and you let him do it. You let him hold onto you, hoping it’ll keep him here with you. Hoping it’ll keep him afloat during the storm that’s raging both outside and in his mind.
“It’s going to be okay,” you breathe, and you feel like you’re lying to him.
Because how can he ever be safe from the ghosts inside of his skull? The ghosts wandering the halls of him, tainting his soul with their presence?
“He’s never going to smile again,” San chokes out. “Everyone loved him. Even in Ateez… Jungkook was the best of us. The only one who had a shot at getting out of it.”
You don’t know how good he could have been, if he was a member of Bangtan. In your mind, you’d always seen Bangtan as the bad guys, mostly because they weren’t with San. Even when you had been struggling to evade that life, you’d still rooted for him.
It’s strange how you just realize that now, as you’re holding him while he breaks.
“You didn’t mean to kill him,” you remind San, still speaking with the calmest voice you can muster up. “You didn’t want to, San. You’re not a murderer.”
“I’m still a killer,” he says. He sounds angry, and you reckon he might be angry at himself. Might be consumed with his actions, dragged to hell before his time as his mind gets stuck replaying the events.
“Maybe,” you answer. “But,” you quickly add when he stiffens in your arms. “But you can spend the rest of your life making up for it. Repenting.”
He doesn’t respond right away, as he breaks some more, sobs rocking through him. You’ve never seen him like this, not even when you were younger and in love. It makes your gaze wet, yet you hold on strong for him. You keep your head held high, and you allow him to break in the safe haven that your arms represent.
Because to him, you’ve never been tainted. You’ve always been the ideal he was trying to pursue, albeit the wrong way.
“I don’t know how to repent,” he admits when he calms down. He turns his head, and his nose brushes along the skin of your neck, slightly tickling you. You ignore the feeling, especially as he adds, “Ateez… it’s all I’ve ever known.”
You run a hand on his back, soothingly. “It isn’t.”
Because there was you, too. There was the summer field and the twinkling stars and Artic Monkeys on the radio. There was the two of you, petal-soft kisses exchanged in the dead of night and in the brightness of day. There were rainy days, and then there was rain. There was him walking away, and you hate yourself then.
You wish you had stopped him that day, had kept him from going on to become what he’s become now. A person he clearly hates, someone that has a bounty on his head. Someone that doesn’t even believe they’re allowed redemption and you reckon you don’t even know if he is.
You only know that seeing him break is bending your will, the way the wind outside is bending the trees. All you can hope is that, like the tall trees, you won’t break.
*****
                The storm calmed down sometime around midnight. San ended up falling asleep on the couch, as you’d reassuringly ran your hand through his hair, trying to keep him with you. Though you think he’s been slipping through your fingers, into his demons.
You’ll find a way to bring him back. You have to. Turns out it comes faster than you think, as the electricity runs out and you busy yourself with lighting some candles throughout the main room. When you’re done, you put a blanket over him, and you almost let out a startled scream as his eyes shot open.
“Hello,” you say, resting a hand on your heart to tame the wild beats.
You’re about to move away, but he grabs your hand, forcing you to sit next to him. You don’t really resist, though you think you probably should. You’re weak – weaker still when he murmurs your name.
“San,” you whisper in return, and you’re aware your voice carries too much longing. Longing for a past when life’s atrocities hadn’t changed either of you yet.
“I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, and a tear rolls on his cheek.
You dry it, fingers lingering there. “It’s okay.”
“Angel…”
The nickname brings you back to laser quests and favours and warmth creeping up your stomach for the first time in your life.
“I’m no angel,” you breathe.
“You saved me.”
You hold his gaze. There’s something hiding behind his pupils. The need, to forget. You don’t think you have the ability to run his mind through amnesia, but still you brush his cheek again.
“You deserved saving.”
His eyes glaze once more, though this time no tears fall. “It’s hard to believe it.”
“Do you still believe love is a laser quest?” you ask him, out of the blue.
As if you’re a line straight of that Arctic Monkeys song you listened to the first time you kissed.
“Maybe,” he says, a parallel to that first time you had asked the question. “Maybe it is.”
You can’t resist. You lean down, and you press the gentlest kiss on his lips. His are dry, but the way he sighs with you against him is soft, for your heart and for your mind, and you kiss him again. He lets you lead, follows the dance of your lips, lets you run your hand through his sweaty hair.
Even if you shouldn’t. Even if you know everything you’re doing right now is a mistake, you still find yourself deepening the kiss, opening your lips to slip your tongue out, teasing his mouth. One of his hands finds your thigh, and he squeezes ever so slightly as his tongue finds yours, and you let out a breathy sound.
When you pull away, eyes fluttering open, you find San’s gaze. You think about the boy he was then, the girl you were then. You think about who you were, together. And when he says, “Please make me forget”, you lean again, capturing his mouth in a languid kiss.
For a reason unknown, the summer sky and falling stars pale in comparison to this kiss. Maybe because it holds longing, nostalgia. Hope that life would have turned out differently. For a moment, you picture what it would have been like, without Ateez. With you and him in the field, in your family house, in a car driving by the beach, windows down as the sun sets and you sing along to the radio, wind blowing in your hair.
You see a whole life there, with you and him marrying in the field, under the sun that had been the host of your first love. You imagine growing up by his side, attending college with him in the big city. You imagine how he would have become the owner of his own construction company, like his dad before him. You picture kids laughing, running around the house he would have built for you. You see Christmas light, late nights antics by the firelight.
You see it all, and you know you’ll never have any of it. But if you can have tonight, then you’ll grab it before it slips through your fingers. Before he walks away in the rain again, only to be a memory you cherish in the deepest corners of your heart.
“How?” you ask him when you pull away.
Mostly, you’re asking how to make him forget. But you’re also asking how it is that the feelings are still there, even stronger now, as if they’ve grown up with you, yet haven’t changed like you have. Like they are a constant of an ever-changing universe.
“Kiss me again,” he asks, begs, and you give in. You kiss him wildly, always making sure not to touch his side and the stitches.
You know sex would be a stupid idea, especially with the fresh stitches. But also because he’s barely had time to recover. But he doesn’t really give you a choice, pulling you on top of him until you’re straddling him.
You sit back on him for a second, eyes trailing to the spot where you know the stitches are. “This isn’t a good idea,” you whisper through the ragged breaths caused by the ministrations of his mouth on yours and of yours on his.
“I’m fine,” he says, and you know you shouldn’t believe him. But when he pulls you down again, large hand holding the nape of your neck firmly so you don’t escape, you want to believe him.
Want to believe the beauty of his lies, like you had when you were younger.
From where you’re perched, you can feel the start of his erection pressing against you, and you moan softly in the kiss, rolling your hips. His mouth falls open, and you capture his tongue, sucking on it once before you pull away, leaving hot kisses on his jaw.
“Sit on my face,” he says, and he sounds out of his mind. Crazed, a little like you too feel at the moment.
“What?”
“Can’t get hurt if you sit on my face, angel,” he explains, and then hisses when you suck a hickey on his neck.
You let him pull your shirt off, unclasping your bra yourself as you sit back on his lap. He cups your breasts, rolling your erect nipples between his thumbs and indexes. You moan again, grinding your hips into his, and he hisses once more.
“You want to taste me?” you ask, head throwing back as he pinches your nipples hard.
“I’d fuck you, but you’re the doctor. Can’t risk fucking up my stitches, huh?” he replies, voice low and husky.
Your core heats up, pussy clenching around nothing. This is a side of him you’ve never seen, though you spy desperation beneath it. Like he thinks he doesn’t have forever, when it comes to you.
He’s right. Because tomorrow, you’ll have to go back into town, into the hellscape you call home. What will be left of the two of you then?
So when he tugs at your pants, you give in and get up, taking off your pants and panties in one swift motion. You step out of them, blood heating up by the way he’s looking at you through half-lidded eyes, gaze burning on you.
You have half a thought that you could probably ride him instead of his face, but when you see his pink tongue darting out to wet his lips, making them glisten in the candlelight, you need to know what it’ll feel like against you.
So you straddle his face as he guides you down, large hands pushing on your thighs until your pussy is a hairsbreadth away from his lips. He blows on it, and your eyes shut with sensitivity. You clutch the cushion of the couch, hoping it’ll help steady you, but the moment his tongue flicks at your clit, you realize nothing will be able to steady you. Yet you still hold onto it, especially as he dives his tongue between your folds, lapping up your juice. He moans in contentment, before moving to your clit again. And his tongue is wicked down there, like it knows exactly what you like.
You grab a handful of his hair, grinding into his face. You’re pretty sure he’s chuckling down there, and then he unleashes himself. Sucking hard, alternating circling motions to teasing you with his teeth. You’d expect the latter to hurt, but the way he does it just makes you see stars, and your pussy clenches around nothing again.
San is deadly good with his mouth. Both with crafting lies and pulling moans out of you, and your thighs tighten against his face as he sucks particularly hard, before dipping his tongue inside of you. His nose brushes your clit, and then he forces you to properly sit on him.
The way his tongue moves inside of you, lapping up your juices while opening you up, has you on the brink of an orgasm in no time. Especially as he makes you grind again, holding you tight into place. When one of his hands moves from around your thigh to reach your clit, you cry out, head throwing back.
He’s quick to rub at your sensitive clit, and you grab one of your breasts, massaging it mindlessly before you pinch your nipple, hard, right in time with a skilled swipe of his tongue. Your orgasm meets you there, shaking through you as it explodes in a blinding flash of light. You moan, loudly, something that resembles his name, and he keeps you going, guides you through your high until you cringe with oversensitivity.
Only then does he let you climb off from his face. You stand on wobbly legs, before deciding to sit next to him, and you catch sight of the smirk on his lips. It makes you blush, right as you realize what you’ve just done.
When you realize what kind of sinful activity he’s dragged you in, this time around.
“Gosh,” is all you manage to say.
He chuckles, clearly proud with himself. “That felt good?”
You worry at your bottom lip, eyes going down to the tent in his pants. You want to pleasure him too, to take him in your mouth and make him feel good, but he stops you with a hand wrapped around your wrist.
“Don’t.”
You still and you meet his gaze with slightly-widened eyes. “Why not?”
His features turn somber, haunted, and the heat of the moment passes so quickly you think it might have been a figment of your imagination.
Were you really riding his face just a moment ago?
“Please just lay next to me,” he says, barely even a whisper.
You don’t know a lot of men that would choose cuddling over getting a blowjob, but if that is what he wants, then you’ll give it to him. You lay next to him, glad that the injured side is closer to the couch. That way, you can cuddle up to him, resting your head on his shoulder while he wraps an arm around you.
“Angel,” he murmurs after a time. “You’re a fucking angel. I think you’re my salvation.”
You highly doubt you hold this kind of power, but you don’t want to tell him. Have never been good at weaving beautiful lies for him to believe.
“We should stay here,” he continues. “Forever.”
And you wish you could. Wish reality didn’t exist, didn’t call for you to go back to your regular life like you’ve never been here with him. But you know tomorrow exists, and you’ll have to leave.
“We should have stayed in the field,” you choose to answer. “Under the shooting stars.”
“I wished for a lifetime with you, then,” he admits. “I wished I’d never have to let you go.”
You’d wished for a similar thing, but life is far too cruel to allow a world of first loves.
“Why did you…” you trail off. The question has haunted your sleepless nights for a long time after the break-up. Even years later, you’d still think about it sometimes, wondering if nostalgia would choke you up. “Why did you decide to join the gang?”
He tenses next to you. But you start tracing a mindless circle on his chest, through the shirt, and it distracts him enough for him to reply. “I thought I didn’t have a choice.”
“Did you?”
His voice holds the weight of the world when he says, “I did. And I made the wrong one.”
You want to cry, but you’re older now. You’re not the teenager who thought she was going to die from losing him anymore. You know what living without Choi San is like, and as much as it hurts, you know that it’s doable.
“You made the one you believed was right,” you say carefully. “But I do wish you had made a different one.”
He holds you a little tighter, as if that will make it so tomorrow never comes. “Me too.”
There’s an eternity of flickering candlelight on the ceiling, of the circles you trace on his chest and of your breathings forming a melody. Outside, the wind has died down, and the world is silent except from an occasional cricket braving the world after the storm.
“Where will you go, once you graduate?” he asks, taking you by surprise.
Because he knows. It’s one of the few things that hasn’t changed.
“As far away from here as I can.”
“I hope you find peace, wherever you go,” he whispers. “I hope you forget all about how we grew up in a hellhole.”
Do you feel bad for saying it? Maybe. But you can’t help saying it anyway. “I will, San.”
And like that rainy day years ago, you think you can see him walk away.
*****
Seven years later
The winter sun is strangely bright, up above. You’d think it will warm you up, but the cold is relentless, violent, and it sneaks into your coat as you walk out of the hospital. You’ve just finished a thirty-hour shift, and you can’t wait to be home.
To take a shower and forget that you’ve lost a patient today.
But you’ve saved another. A young man, with a stab wound in his ribs that should have killed him. But you saved him, stabilized his condition to the point you don’t have to worry about him anymore. Which is the only reason why you’re allowing yourself to leave now.
You’re never able to leave until you know your patients are okay. It’s been that way since your first patient, in a cabin in the woods you’ve done your best to forget.
You’d let San stay, after that weekend. He had given you the number of one of his friends, so you could get some clothes for him, and you’d gone back the next weekend. Bringing him the clothes, making love to him under the moonlight as if that would change the ending.
The following week, you had gone back to find the cabin empty. He’d left a note behind.
I hope I can find you again, wherever you go.
You kept the note. It’s in your bedside table, back at home, in the nice apartment you’ve been able to rent for yourself with all the money you’ve been making now. Enough to pay back student loans from med school, enough to reassure you that never again will you struggle.
You’ve never seen San again after. He hasn’t found you, and you haven’t searched for him. Have only looked up his name a couple of times, in the months following his disappearing, scared you’d find out that he was found dead in a ditch. But his name never came up, and you wondered if he had managed to escape, if he had managed to find a place where Bangtan couldn’t reach him.
You found peace, on your side of the country. Life is kinder here, though it still holds the same atrocities. You wonder if it’s the novelty of the city, or maybe if you’ve just grown old enough to be able to withstand the bad that the world throws your way. It’s hard to tell – you haven’t kept contact with anyone from back home, except Jae-on.
Jae-on, who’s moved with you when you’ve decided to come here, like he said he would. Jae-on, who asked you to marry him in late October, and you said yes. The ring sits heavy on your finger, and you mindlessly play with it.
In another world, you would already be married to Choi San. Sometimes, you catch glimpses of that world – a piercing gaze in the morning, a smile and a kiss to your temple. Talks about angels, children screaming in happiness. In another world, you’d be pregnant again, waiting patiently to add another piece of you and him to this world.
It’s fun to think about, sometimes, but you’ve been good at forgetting. Like you told him you would – most times, you’ve forgotten all about Choi San.
But today, you had a patient that reminded you of him. So you allow yourself to feel, you allow yourself to think about that note tucked in the bottom drawer of your bedside table, hidden under the thick socks you never use.
You allow yourself to think about the cabin in the woods, about the field where you would have gotten married had you been in that picturesque world you like to imagine. You think about laser quests and first kiss and rainy days and meteors. You think about summer, about wildflowers and him.
You’re so lost in thought you miss your stop home, and you begrudgingly get out at the next one. You’re tired, and your hands are shaking as you pull your phone out of your tote bag, wanting to text Jae-on that you’re going to be home late because you missed your stop. You walk to the other side of the tracks, sighing when you see a five-minutes wait for the next subway.
At least the sun is high in the sky, even though it is dreadfully cold. You shiver, putting your phone back in your tote bag so you can hide your hands in your sleeves again, hoping it’ll preserve them from the cold.
In your exhaustion, you forgot your gloves back at the hospital, you realize. It’s strange that you only realize now, and you reckon you really need to sleep, because your brain isn’t even working right anymore.
You sigh, glancing at the display showing the time. Still four minutes to wait. You think at this rhythm you might freeze in your spot before the next subway comes. You try to hide your face in the lapel of your coat, but a movement on the other platform attracts your gaze.
A man is helping an older woman climb down the stairs. She’s speaking loudly, which might be what attracted your gaze in the first place. You follow them as they walk down the stairs, and then when the man turns towards you, you meet his piercing gaze.
He smiles, and you realize that maybe, all those years ago, he was not spinning lies to you after all.
☆☆☆☆☆
Gosh yeahhh rereading it had me ralize that it is a lot sadder than I remembered it to be. At least we got an open ending ... :') What did we think? Should I write about other groups more often? Let me know what you think! All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate
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knightyoomyoui · 23 days
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[COMMISSION] LIVING WITH VAMPIRES: UNDER THE VEIL OF NIGHT  | TWICE x Male Reader | CHAPTER 1: "A Nightmarish First Encounter"
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Welcome to another brand new TWICE fic series of mine! This story will serve both as an adaptation and a soft reboot of the TWICE horror-comedy book titled “Living With Vampires” written by SaiDaChae29 published in 2020 which was sadly left discontinued until this day. For this one, it scrapped some of the parts from the original while others were kept and applied changes which will lead to its direct continuation. Special mention also to @nchris00 who ordered a commission and entrusted me to recreate this interesting story as his request. Hope this one won’t disappoint! Thank you so much again! -> Read the PROLOGUE here <- “LIVING WITH VAMPIRES: UNDER THE VEIL OF NIGHT” By knightyoomyoui Commissioned by: @nchris00 Part: CHAPTER 1 : "A Nightmarish First Encounter" Word Count: 5,879
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2 YEARS AGO
I knocked at the house where there was an old man living in there that I used to help throwing the garbage every night. As he opened the door, he greeted me with a curious gaze as soon as he saw me standing in front of his doorway.
“Jeonghoon? What is it?”
“Uhh hey pops uhm… I was just wondering if you have some extra food left there?” It took some courage to ask that from him, since this is my first time begging from somebody straight into their home for some food to eat. Also, I just did this now from him because he only just know me as a hobo who helps people throw trash in their neighboorhood.
“I already ate the leftovers that I collected few days ago so… if you won’t mind, can I-”
“You came at the right time, Jeonghoon. Ofcourse I will.” He nodded understandably after cutting off my words. I didn’t find it disrespectful at all now that he responded the same thing I was expecting for him to say to me.
He left me in his doorway to grab something from his kitchen. I heard some metal clanging and probably procelains, maybe grabbing something from the plates. I was curious but I remained in his doorway, without any intention to come inside and do something that would break his trust.
Because I will never do that. I may have know how it feels to lose something… but just because it happened worse to me that doesn’t mean I have to make others feel what I felt.
It’s painful, enough to have your life get destroyed in an instant.
Which is what I’ve been going through these days. Imagine I was having these things for me too until that person I thought would be the nicest one among everyone took it all away from me and didn’t spare nothing.
I didn’t noticed I was too occupied at my thoughts when pops here even had to pat my chest twice to steal my attention. “Hey, are you okay young guy? You must be spacing out.”
“Oh u-uhm… I-I’m really sorry pops, I didn’t heard what you said.”
“No don’t worry, I just called your name repeatedly and you can’t hear me, so I checked up on you and I found you hear staring at nothing.” The old man waves it off for me. I looked at his hands and he was carrying a tupperware of the food he cooked for dinner.
“I cooked too much that I wasn’t able to finish it all, that’s why I said that you came here at the right time because I feel a bit dismayed at leaving this extra for tomorrow.” Pops said to me. He handed it to me and I accepted it.
“Do you want to eat here?”
“I would be honored, pops but I think i’m fine out there. I would like to grab some fresh air afterwards.” 
He nodded and he took my answer well. “Okay, eat well Jeonghoon.”
“Thanks a lot again, pops. Good night.”
“You too, kid.”
I bowed again to double the respect I have for his kindness and he smiled softly for me because I helped him close the door. I looked at the beef steak he has for me and probably this is the first day since I lost a home that I smiled with pure genuine.
I looked for some spare bench here along the road and thankfully I found one where I can sit and enjoy this meal I have tonight. I opened the container and smelled the food, oh it was surely mouth-watering and fragrant. 
I prayed as my gratitude to have this kind of food despite of my poor situation. Without wasting much time, I grabbed the spoon he gave for me and I ate my dinner in less than three minutes, an effect of the hunger I was tried to hold onto since earlier.
After I finished my dinner, I went to my scraps to place this in a plastic so that I can return this to pops tomorrow. Then I went back at the spot where I decided to sleep along with my carton as my sleeping mat to make myself more comfortable.
I laid on the couch and stared at the stars above, deeply wondering what the future still awaits for me even after my life had its rock bottom state. Will I still be able to save myself and get back up to slowly reclaim what I never lost in the first place or… if I will be lucky…
Is there someone else out there who will be willing to lend me a hand and assist me with it?
I don’t know exactly, but not gonna lie I don’t lose hope yet. Well, I just think that’s what I should do while I’m still breathing and living you know? I don’t want to waste this opportunity yet, that’s why i have to find a way to look for something that will add more purpose of why i’m living right now. 
I still believe that just because we lost something in our life doesn’t mean we remain worthless forever. 
Anyways, enough of these deep thoughts. I just want to relax myself and call this a day. I just hope there’s a karma awaiting for that person who made me like this. There’s no instances that someone can just ran away freely after doing something reckless to others who did nothing wrong to them.
I closed my eyes and breathe deeply before I let my body soak into slumber.
However, few hours later I suppose, well since I don’t have a watch or a clock -I do have my phone with me but it’s still lowbat since I didn’t get to have my charger with me when I got abandoned-, my ears caught something irritating that woke my senses back up even if it doesn’t want to yet since it’s still midnight.
It was gibberish loud and since it’s slightly audible, I can tell that those noises were coming just nearby from me. I slowly opened my eyes and I blinked rapidly as I try to hear the noises again that caused my peaceful sleep to be rudely interrupted.
I groaned as my reaction before I stood back up. The sound became much clearer now, and I grabbed some of the words they’re talking about. Not being overly interested in gossips, but I do caught that they’re talking about ‘paying something because it’s already due’ thingie.
I looked around to find out what it is, and what I saw didn’t gave me a surprise, it just explained why the sound was so close to me.
There are three kids being cornered by a tandem of intimidating guys cornering them from left to right as they ask them about something.
They’re too busy at what they’re talking about so I tried to hid myself from the nearby lamppost to eavesdrop their conversation more.
“That’s a part of our deal, and we told you that each of us would respect our rules and roles here. We let you borrow our money… and you have to pay us back on the due date.” The guy on the right said, and he’s talking directly at that tallest kid who looks like he’s protecting those two little kiddos he has with him from them.
“I’m telling you sir please, I’m going to pay for it I know about that! It’s just that what I’ve been saving as of now isn’t enough yet to reach that amount.” He replied while trembling in fear.
“And do you think it’s a good thing that even if you don’t want your deadline to pass, you have no choice but to let it? Do we look like we are nice enough to give a second chance?” The left guy said, stepping forward to scare the three kids more.
I understood their situation now. So this kid took a loan agreement with them and these guys are the sharks who are trying to collect the money they gave to the kid as per the agreement says. I get it that they’re just following the rules but… does it really have to come this way?
“Look kid, you better do something right now to pay what you requested for us or else… we are the ones who will look for an alternative.”
“And hey man, I think I know what we should took rather.” He grinned evilly at his partner on the right before his sight landed on the kids.
He tried to reach the arm of that little guy but the tallest one sways his hand away to avoid having contact with the kid. “Get your hands off from them!”
Wait… oh no, are they thinking about the kids being the substitute payment for this guy’s balance?
“Then pay us right now or else you won’t be going to see these rats ever again!”
“No please, I’m begging you leave them out of this!” He shook his head and tried to rid them away while pleading for mercy.
“Shut up!” The left dude pulled his wavering hand at them and shoo-ed him away from the kids. My eyes largened and felt nervous for this guy and what these dudes would do to the poor kids who are crying now in fear.
“THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!!!”
“WELL THEY ARE NOW, BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT THEM INTO THIS MESS YOU SHOULD’VE AVOIDED IF ONLY YOU COULD’VE PAID US!” The right dude locked his grip on this kid’s slim arm. It tried to force himself out of the hold until this kid tried to bit his knuckle, making the dude scream in pain.
“AAAAISSSHHH, YOU LITTLE DEVIL!” He shook his hand before looking at the kid dangerously and unexpectedly slapped its face.
“No… NO!!!” The guy tried to approach the dude but he only received a huge blow onto his midsection, shutting him off. 
I couldn’t take this sight anymore, so I have to do something for these younglings. I know I’m not that much of a skilled person when it comes to self-defense or challenging somebody in a combat but… I can’t just let these kids to end up somewhere with fate unknown in the hands of these bastards.
Stupidly, I quickly went out of my hiding and tensely approached the dudes who are double-teaming the tall guy before they try to bring the kids with them. I noticed also that the black van that is parking on the side of the road belongs to them.
“HEY! Didn’t you heard what he said!” My puny self yelled at them with bent toughness. “He said they have nothing to do with your problem, so leave them alone!” I said while I eyed the kids who are looking at me right now with their pitiful watery eyes.
“And who the fuck are you?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m just a random guy on the streets that you two bitchasses ruined his sleep with your annoying rumblings.” I said with much confidence with them. This is the hilarious thing about me, I’m so brave at trashtalking bullies but when they come at me, I’m like a flower who easily covers itself for protection.
In short, I don’t know how to fight back with fists. Great.
“Well, is that so? We don’t give a shit about your beauty sleep, so turn around now, mind your business and you can get yourself back to your little sleep because we’re almost done here. How about that?” The left dude said as he tugged the hair of the tall guy’s hair, making him yelp at the sting it must have caused on his scalp.
I hissed irritably at the stubbornness of this loser. I sighed deeply then went back to arguing with them when I noticed that the dudes were about to carry the kids with them through the van. The tall guy looked at me, crying and pleaded.
“Please… mister… they can’t get away…”
“TYLER!!!” An old man suddenly shouted this guy’s name. I saw that he just came out of the door from this huge looking place. Then I figured out it’s name plastered on top of the entrance.
“ORPHANAGE”
Wait a minute? Orpha- so these kids are orphans? Now I know why this Tyler guy is so protective with these kids and highly concerned for them. Plus, their home is actually just right in front of them! That means they were about to head home when these bad dudes blocked them off from doing so.
“HEY, W-WHERE ARE THEY TAKING THEM!” The old guy saw the dudes carrying the kids who are crying and trying to wiggle off in their arms to escape.
I looked at them and breathe drelpy before I let my urges control me.
I ran immediately and just before they’re about to open the sliding door of their van, I pushed them both off into the ground, while apologetically involving the kids on the ground. I just thought that it’s the better way to stop them by getting distracted at the kids bodies colliding with them as they fall.
“GO, RUN!” I commanded the kids who were a bit confused at what I just did. I looked at both of them and they got my signal. They stumbled to stand but luckily they are able to ran back from Tyler and the old man. 
“You son of a bitch, look what you just did!” The dude who is laying down beneath me suddenly kicked me on the leg, effectively making me kneel on the ground at how painful it is to endure while standing.
As I was busy seething off the pain, the other dude took the advantage by blowing me in the back of the head with his hammered fists. I faceplanted on the ground and then I felt my entire body filled with shots coming from their attacks.
They kicked me with pure despise. It stopped for a while until I felt by body getting rolled and face up, the dude straddled me and gave me repeated punches to the face before my sight went blurred and complete black.
My eyes suddenly sprung up, and what greeted me was a view of a girl who seemed like she flinched a little when my eyes opened. Her head is upside down, so I figured that she’s looking at me from the edge of… wait, am I laying down on a couch?
“Jihyo-unnie! There’s a man sleeping on our couch!!!” The girl suddenly shouted for her Jihyo-unnie. I guess that was her sister or something but hold up, where was I?!
I made the hardest and most painful sat-up I ever did in my entire life, as I feel like my abdomen are tightening while I’m doing it. My head also feels a little dizzy so I groaned and hold it for support before I turned around.
And where the hell was I? Why am I in a very cozy looking room filled with women sitting around in front of me.
What I first noticed was the girl who is staring at me upside down, she is indeed on the edge of the couch on my side looking suspicious at me with her knitted brows.
Then on the other hand was the rest of the girls with her. The first one is wearing a purple T-shirt with a girl character on its chest, she’s watching the TV in the floor along with the pale-looking girl who I can almost compare her similarity to Snow White because of how bright her skin was.
The other ones on the couch were this girl with long legs, wolfcut haired, and in black t-shirt building a Lego figure on a table and the one beside her is a very gorgeous looking one with uhm… enticing thighs, sitting like a ball and very focused on her phone.
I seriously don’t know who are these girls and why did I end up here, but for now I’ll just leave what will happen to me based on their actions… but ofcouse that doesn’t mean I won’t do something about it.
“W-who are you?” I asked the long-hair girl with tattoos. “And how did I end up here?”
“I was about to ask the same thing about you, Mr. Nobody.” She crossed her eyes and popped the bubble gum she was chewing. “We just woke up and I just went down when we found you here laying so comfortably here in our dorm like it’s yours.”
Dorm?
Where in the blue hell am I actually am right now, seriously?
“What did you say? A dorm?” I asked her again.
“Yeah! Are you deaf or something?”
“I seriously don’t know this place. I don’t even have any idea why I’m here!” I felt embarassed when my raising voice accidentally caught the other girl’s attention, and now they’re looking at me with curiousity.
“Oh, he’s awake!” The girl in purple said. She doesn’t seemed to be frightened that a stranger is on a room with her friends, she rather sounds glee about it.
“Look wait, let me explain-”
“Tell that to her instead.” Chaeyoung flicked her head back when she sensed that a footstep is growing near from us. “Jihyo- unnie!!!”
“Yes yes I’m coming Chae, jeez.” This Jihyo said to her, sounding like she’s so done at this girl’s whiny voice. Oh, didn’t I just heard this tattoo girl’s name to be Chae?
While i was awaiting at this Jihyo’s arrival, Chae decided to scare me off with her gesturing me with her index finger that tells me I’m screwed… which was kinda effective and not at the same time because I don’t even know what this Jihyo can do and… her giving death warning isn’t suitable for a short girl like her with cute features.
I gulped but I hid my nervousness by glancing at her cluelessly at her. Then, a figure stood beside Chae, a short-girl one with large round eyes, almost had me questioning if she’s actually Korean or she’s half.
She was about to ask Chae but her eyes landed at me and just like how Chae greeted me when I woke up, she shared the same judgmental look.
“Who are you and what are you doing here in our place?”
“You asked exactly the same thing as this girl right here.” I pointed at Chae. “And I can’t give the answer as for you too, because I don’t even know how did I end up here.” I shrugged.
“Are you sure about that?” She raised her eyebrow to me, unsure if I was speaking the truth.
“She’s probably speaking lies, Jihyo-unnie! Who knows, maybe this idiot is an intruder!”
“Intruder?! I don’t even know how to lockpick or climb walls!” I said to this brat over here as I felt offended.
“Well guessing from that look of yours and how mysterious your identity are, you should be considered as one.” She traced my appearance from head and toe, as if she’s wondering why such a being like me is existing in this world.
“Look, I’m not as dumb as you think I am. I am very aware that such a hobo like me wouldn’t have even a slightest chance to enter or hell, own a dorm such luxurious as this!”
“Both of you, silence your mouths!” Jihyo stops me and Chae from having a war of words. “Chaeyoung is right, you better give us something you know or else we don’t have a choice but to call security and forcefully get you out of here.”
“Wait wait, I don’t know how but I’ll just tell you instead what I know!” I paused her after this irritating Chaeyoung even handed Jihyo her phone. She’s so obvious of making me look like I’m not very welcome here in their territory.
“But first uhm… where is your bathroom?” I said as my expression softened after sheepishly admitting that the nature is calling for my reproductive organs to release something in effect of my hydration.
“And what are you gonna do in there?” Jihyo questions me.
“She’s probably gonna try to run away, Jihyo unnie! Quick girls, block the-”
“I JUST WANT TO HAVE A BATHROOM BREAK, PLEASE.” I said as I hold my kidney spot tight, constricting my legs as I hold on my pee.
“Oh.” Jihyo reacted. “Cmon, Chae as if he’s gonna be out here by his own. Our lock is equipped with passcode remember?” She said as she patted Chaeyoung’s shoulder who seems sulking that she was proven wrong. “Anyways, the bathroom is on the right, you can see the hallway down here.”
“T-thanks”, I immediately stood up and bowed at them thankfully before I went for the location of it.
As I already reached the kitchen which is where the hallway that Jihyo mentioned was near at, I noticed that there’s another girl coming from upstairs coming rushing down and went for the fridge. She even ignored me as she just passed by at me.
I just gave her the same treatment and walked through the bathroom door but just as I was about to grab the knob and opened it, I heard what she said from behind that grabbed my attention.
“Ahhh… oh a fresh blood in the morning after a hangover is incomparably great!” 
I turned my body around slowly to look at Nayeon after what she just said, just want to confirm it if she’s joking or something.
But what I found out after was instead something much more serious to be like that.
I saw Nayeon holding a transparent pitchel filled with red substance on it while gulping its content with a glass on her other hand. She was kneeling in front of the open fridge.
It was like in the movies where a protagonist gets a camera shot where his or her figure gets zoomed in while the background shrinks as soon as that character finds something mind-blowing, that’s what it looked like to mr when I felt chills in my body.
“Nayeon, hurry up! I want that blood already!”
How in the fuck can they just pronouce that they are consuming blood so casually?! It’s nit even normal at all?!
Or else…
As Nayeon followed the voice where it came from, she caught my figure standing in the middle of the hallway, watching her in horror at the strange act she’s doing. I wished she didn’t even stopped, because she terrified me further when she leans away the glass from her, revealing her blood stained mouth.
“What the fuck… are you?” 
She stood up and left the kitchen as she starts walking towards me. I hurriedly turned the doorknob but it was locked. My heart beats even faster as I got confused and even more desperate to get myself away from this bloodlust woman.
It only stopped when my vision went back to pitch black as I couldn’t control my movement anymore.
I have no idea how long I snapped out, but in an instant i just recovered my consciousness back in this comfy couch again. This time, they aren’t around to be seen in what it seems to be their living room. However, I heard clanging noises from the back, I peeked to see what it is and there they actually are, all seated on their dining table with plates and foods all around their table.
The wolfcut girl was distributing the spoons for her roommates while the short-haired woman was assisting her on scooping up the foods for them. I was just silently watching them when someone caught.
“You’re back.” A girl that I haven’t seen yet spoke me as she faced her sitting posture onto me.
I just stared at us and she probably figured out that I haven’t met or know her yet. She chuckled and smiled as she realized it. “Join us.”
Her soft voice and elegant moves piqued my interest on her. She looks so gentle and very nice to get along with. Out of all the girls who I saw, my attention was pinned sharply at her. She just lets out an unexplainable aura that carries me to her.
I nodded and I stood up, which again caught their focus. Chaeyoung’s bright face turned back into an intense and angsty mood when she noticed me back alive again. Jihyo just looked at me seriously but my eyes averted more at this girl named Nayeon who was somehow avoiding her face at me.
I felt my heartbeat quicken again which caused my head to ache and feel a bit dizzy. I almost stumble but thankfully, the wolfcut girl caught my back. “You okay?”
“My head is a bit spiraling, but I’m good.”
“Yeah it’s better to eat first. I’ll give you a medicine after.”
She was about to direct me to their table but then I refused. “S-sorry, but can I go now? I don’t even have to be here, I’m sorry again for the incovenience that I caused-”
“Don’t disrespect unnie like that, now follow her and sit with us!” I didn’t expected that those inviting words, even though they were sounded a bit rude… came from Chaeyoung herself. I looked at her with shame and I just nodded in defeat. I don’t even want to try making this girl’s blood boil more if I already feeling weak.
Oh, great. Speaking about the blood.
As I slowly make my seat, my eyes are still staring at Nayeon who seems uncomfortable now with my look. I try to stop it but at the same time I’m just completely puzzled and disgusted at what I caught from her earlier.
“You can join us for breakfast, because what we learned about you gave me a bit of an assurance that there’s nothing wrong with you.” Jihyo said as she grabbed her spoon and fork before she nodded at the person in front of her from the distance to proceed as she starts eating her food.
It turns out to be the elegant girl sitting with the wolfcut girl and the one with tattoos beside her. “May we know your name first?” she asked me.
“J-Jeonghoon. Min Jeonghoon.”
“Do you remember how did you end up here in our dorm?”
I stopped for a while as I attempt to recall the last scenarios I’ve gone through, which was from last night… but it was like some sort of a missing puzzle pieces, because I couldn’t remember it entirely.
“A bit. All I know is just I beat up some guys because I caught them trying to abduct the siblings of this kid that they intimidate. I’m pretty sure I got knocked out, but… I really don’t know how am I now here, in this type if place with you all.” I explained.
“Someone brought you here with us. That person found you unconscious outside with a badly beaten body.” Jihyo starts to enlighten out the things I temporarily forgot.
“And you should be thanking right now at her.” She glanced back at the elegant girl who just smiled at me and nodded back. My eyes widened when I understood that she was the one who saved me. 
“I’m sorry if you haven’t met me a while ago when you woke up, I just went for some exercise in our gym.” She bowed her head. “My name’s Mina, and I’m the one who brought you here.”
“W-wait, but how…” 
“Since you couldn’t remember when you went through last night, I was a friend with the old guy who owns the orphanage and a guardian of those three kids you saved out there.” She started to narrate what previously happened. 
“He called me along with the police because well… lets say he knows me as someone he can entrust a lot about.” Mina shrugged. “I volunteered to get you healed here while the old guy reported the incident to the police so… that’s the reason how you end up here in our place.” 
I felt relieved and contented that I have an idea now of what I just did, that I was also responsible actually of bringing myself into here, sharing a room with these 9 girls that even though I never met them in my entire life, they seem to be good people and I can somehow try to connect and make myself trustworthy to them… in return of what Mina did to me.
“We learned from Tyler, the kid you saved that they were caught by the loan sharks and you went there to stop them from kidnapping his fellow orphans in exchange of his unpaid balance.” Jihyo said. “And your kind deed was enough to make me convince that maybe you’re not actually what we hope you won’t be. That’s why we talked about even thought Chaeyoung here was… still hesitant-”
“We still don’t know him, unnie! I won’t still trust him around us.” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes as she spatted a toxic gaze at her before returning to her food.
“Exactly what I was saying, but she was still right. We may be appreciating what you did for the kids Jeonghoon but… you got to prove us more. We still don’t know much with you yet.”
“But you’re now welcome to interact with us.” The wolfcut haired girl spoke to me with a nice smile. I felt grateful that they gave me a chance somehow even thought I ended up looking weird for them.
“Thank you so much, I will do my best, I promise.” I said to them, bowing respectfully. 
I started to eat along with them. While I was savoring how delicious the food was, my eyes caught this girl that I last seen drinking blood. I still can’t get it out of my head. As I get drown fron my curiosity, all of us flinched and got a mini heart attack when she suddenly stood up and slammed her fist on the table, towering at me with her deadly stare.
“CAN YOU STOP LOOKING WITH ME, I COULDN’T EAT PEACEFULLY WITH YOUR STARES! IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME ALREADY ABOUT THE BLOOD I DRANK EARLIER, THEN FREAKING DO IT ALREADY!”
All of us went silent while I found the other girl with bangs slapped her head frustratingly. We locked into a staring contest until Jihyo slids between.
“Nayeon! Calm down!”
“What did you just said, Nayeon unnie?!” Wolfcut asked her older friend which revealed to be her name as Nayeon. Her voice has sn evident disbelief in it. 
Nayeon realized what she just accidentally released in her mouth, so she quickly covered it with her palm as she nervously looked around at us especially to Jihyo.
“I-I’m sorry… I-”
“You heard her right.” I said as I still confronted Nayeon. “I caught Nayeon drinking blood from the fridge, even complimenting that it was the best thing to aid hangover.”
All of them gasped and this girl beside me who was using her phone earlier clicked her tongue thrice. Wait, did I mentioned already that she looks like the tallest of them all? Well, excluding me because her head is leveled just right on my shoulder.
“Do you girls know about this? Why is she drinking blood? What are you girls hiding from me?”
They all went suspiciously silent for a moment, my fear and nervousness is increasing my heartbeat’s rate at this point, being beware of their secret that hides their true identity.
“W-wait, Jeonghoon can you give us a minute to t-talk?”
“No more time needed, just tell me right away!” I stood up, feeling alarmed at them. They all posed a taken aback expression at my frightful demeanor.
“Are you girls belong in some crazy ass cult or what? Because you girls didn’t disposed the fact that she drank blood means one thing only that you girls know about this and this just seems normal to yall. Thinking that you girls ain’t normal makes me wanna leave this room already!”
“Jeonghoon, please wait!”
They all stood up at the same time, which even looked like more creepy to me. I stepped backwards, being defensive for myself. “NO! DON’T YOU DARE TAKE ANY MORE STEP COME NEAR ME!”
I looked at the door at the near end of the hallway, which helped me to plan what I have to do after. I gotta get out of this place as they all soon to come after me. I better hurry out and ran as fast as I can.
Just as I had a plan formulated in my mind, the elegant girl took our attention when she suddenly yelled that I couldn’t even consider if she actually yelled because of how light like a feather her voice was.
“W-we are v-vampires, that’s why!”
They all gasped unbelievably at their friend who just exposed and retreated at their guilt.
“MINA! WHY DID YOU SAY IT?!” The bangs girls got infuriated at her.
“I-I just couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t lie!”
“Shit… you all are…” I looked at them and soon the sight of them looking like these precious set of women goes shifting into this unimaginable monsters that I never wanted to come across with.
“Oh god… so that’s probably why you all took me, to feed me to become more healthy… so that later tonight you all can eat me and have my blood huh! You girls like the dark and a fresh blood, like what that girl said!” I hauntingly said while pointing at Nayeon who lowered her head, probably felt pain at my accusation.
“Guess what, you all can’t have it. Because I’M GETTING OUT OF HERE!”
“GIRLS, GET HIM!
I moved as fast as I can, sprinting to the door and tried to open it. I looked back to see all the girls except Jihyo, the wolfcut one, Nayeon, and the thighs girl not joining the rest who is chasing after me.
I realized that there’s a keypad underneath the knob. I remembered that Chaeyoung told me that I have no chance of getting out of here because their door is secured with a pass code.
OH SHIT! 
“HELPPP!!! HELP ME!!!”
I pounded the door as loud as I can before I felt the bangs girls tackled my lower part and pulled my legs, sliding me to the ground with my front colliding on the floor.
Meanwhile, Jihyo and the wolfcut girl was talking about something when I saw the tall girl suddenly speak with them.
“Just tell him the truth, unnie. We can’t do anything about it already. It’s too late.”
“Nowhere to run, Jeonghoon!” Chaeyoung said to me before she maniacally smugs and laughs. I saw a glimpse of her fangs growing wiith her pupils shrinking and eyes glowing into color red.
“GET OFF ME!!! NO, PLEASE!!! SOMEBODY SAVE M-RAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
The three of them just watched the rest pulled my body away from the door as I clawed in the front while screaming in dread and terror, with my fate unknown being at the possession of these girls who turned out to be vampires in disguise.
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