#If I thought about it in a Bit less of an angst mood (lol) I imagine the other adults would flock to Sif both to protect/help him

[sysig]

An eye for a life, unquestionably worth it (Patreon)

[strayteezsimp]

A Dance with Fate

Pairing: Yunho x afab!reader

Summary: You are a new soloist under KQ Entertainment and your debut is in less than a week so you turn to Yunho for some guidance. Little did you know about his feelings towards you.

content warning! IdolAU! Smut(MDNI 18+), some fluff, swearing, slight angst (self-deprecation), breast play, fingering, oral (receiving), edging, usage of sir, use of pet names (baby, pretty baby, sweetheart), piv, unprotected sex//creampie (don’t be silly wrap ya willy)

Word count: 2.3k

My first fic in a literal decade lol. A huge thank you to @optimisticbabypanda for helping me with editing it and making sure it looked good! Also thank you for taking time to help me! I appreciate you whole heartedly 💕

Hope yall enjoy 💕

You exhaled in frustration while lying down on the practice room floor. “After 5 years of training, you’d think I’d be better at dancing by now.” You said out loud to yourself. Dance was always your struggle point as a trainee, and you were surprised when KQ said they were gonna debut you as a new soloist for them. You were hoping you would end up in a group so your dancing wouldn’t stand out as much, but here you were wallowing on the floor in self-pity. You’ve been debating whether or not you should ask someone for help; however, every time you think about it you feel this deep sense of embarrassment.

You felt like they’d make fun of you for needing help on something you should be relatively good at by now. Then you thought about Yunho. You’ve met him a few times and each time you talked to him- he seemed nice enough, “Maybe I could ask him. He seems like he'd be the least judgmental about it,” you thought to yourself, still lying on the floor with your debut song playing in the background on a loop. After some internal debate, you decide to swallow your pride and go ask Yunho.

As you're making your way down to Ateez’s practice room you feel a sense of dread. What if he laughs at you? What if he scolds you for not being able to dance to your own debut song? These thoughts have plagued your mind to the point you didn't even realize you had walked past their practice room. Internally smacking yourself in the face, you turn around and head back to the room. As you were about to knock on the door, it swung open with Yunho standing right there before you. You stood there gapping as anxiety started rushing through you.

He let out a little chuckle “Hey y/n! You're a long way from your practice room” he said with a smile on his face. You giggled nervously as you looked at your dance shoes. “Yeah, I actually had come here to talk to you about something.” You said, embarrassment laced in every word. He looked at you with a face mixed with curiosity, concern, and a hint of excitement. The moment he laid eyes on you his heart skipped a few beats- he knew he wanted to have you. You hesitated as you were trying to muster up the courage to ask.

“I really need your help with something but I’m a little embarrassed to ask in the middle of the hallway.” You said still looking at your shoes. He leaned over so he could look at your face and smiled. “Then where would you like to talk?” You giggled shyly as your cheeks turned a faint pink. You stepped back a little bit to see his face properly. “Preferably in my practice room, if you don’t mind.” Your mood lightening a little bit, you were always amazed at how much Yunho brightened up any room he was in, how just a smile from him could make your day better within seconds.

He stood up straight and started stroking his chin, it was obvious to you that he was messing around with a loud hum. “Sure I would love to help, lead the way y/n.” He said with a dramatic bow. You laughed as you lightly tapped his arm, “come on drama king.” As you two were making your way down to your practice room Yunho was internally trying to calm himself down. He was so excited to spend time with you and get to know you a little better. He was sure whatever it was you were worried about wasn't as bad as you were making it seem.

Your debut song was still playing as you entered the practice room. You walk over to your phone to start it over and pause it. “So what's the problem y/n? Are you worried about your song?” Yunho asked as he sat on the floor beside the speaker. “No, it's not the song I love my song. It's my dancing. I just can't get the choreography right.” You say as you rub your face in frustration. “Would you like to show me?” Yunho asked, standing from his spot on the floor. This was the part you were dreading. “He's gonna see me dance and laugh at me. What if he tells the rest of his group? And his members tell their friends? I'm going to be the laughingstock of the industry” you thought to yourself as you handed your phone to Yunho. You got in your spot and signaled Yunho you hit play.

He watched your every move as you did your choreo. Making mental notes of the moves you did and did not need work with. As you were dancing you felt his eyes on you the whole time. You were getting nervous because you couldn’t read his face, was he getting secondhand embarrassment? Was he trying not to laugh? Thoughts like these purged your mind as you finished your choreo. Yunho paused the music and sat your phone down. “I think I know what the problem is.” He said with a pause, making you even more uneasy. “You’re letting your anxiety get the best of you, and it’s making you stiff. Try and relax- you really did great.” He said looking you in the eyes. You felt his sincerity and it made you feel better. “Can you do it one more time for me? Have fun with it! I’ll dance with you if that would help?” He said beaming with excitement, looking more like a golden retriever than ever before.

He walked back to your phone as you readied yourself. You start your choreo again as Yunho quickly jumps beside you and dances with you. The choreo flowing like you were a natural. You were so dumbfounded by how fast he learned your choreo that you missed a step and rammed face first into Yunho’s chest, Yunho losing his footing in the process. You felt Yunho’s hands grip your waist as he quickly caught both of you from falling, both of you stared at each other in surprise as both of your faces turned red. He exhaled quickly as he stared into your eyes. The stare was intense, but in a loving way. You couldn’t bring yourself to look or pull away, it was like he had you in a trance.

He looked to your lips and then back at your eyes as if he were asking for permission starting to lean towards you. You closed your eyes and felt your lips touch as he kissed you. His lips were soft and gentle and he moved against your lips. As he started to pull away you wrapped your arms around his neck and went back in for another, not wanting this moment to end so soon. Your lips met again with much more intensity. His grip on your waist tightened as he licked your bottom lip, asking for entry.

His tongue dominated yours as you let out a light moan. You felt a light tug in your shirt as he pulled away from your heated kiss, resting his forehead on yours and looking into your eyes; you nodded and helped him lift off your shirt. He started kissing down your neck, to the tops of your lightly exposed breasts. You felt him move his arm up your back to remove your bra. Feeling his eyes on you started to make you feel self-conscious and before you could cover yourself he quickly cupped your breasts and started to kiss them. “Don’t cover them, you're so beautiful I want to cherish this moment.” You let out a moan as he licked your nipples. His hand toying with one as he sucked on the other.

You let out another moan as he slid his hand into the front of your sweatpants, rubbing your nub through your underwear. You felt your wetness on your underwear against your heat as he pulled his hand out. “I’m gonna go lock the door, have your clothes off, and have that pretty pussy ready for me okay?” Doing as he said you swiftly removed your pants and underwear and laid down on the floor. As he was making his way over to you he took off his shirt in one swift motion, he crawled to hover over you but first taking in the sight of your body. “I’ve been wanting to make you mine for so long.” He said as he stroked his fingers between your folds, earning a squirm and a moan from you. He stuck a digit into you, pumping at a slow pace. “Yunho please more” you whined, needing more.

Yunho smiled as he looked at you. “You’ll have to be patient for me baby. Can you do that?” You huffed in frustration then nodded. He stopped. “No, I need to hear you say it, sweetheart.” He peered into your eyes with a gleam of excitement and seriousness. “Yes.” You sighed out. “Yes, what?” He said, still staring at you. “Yes sir?” You said thinking that’s what he was wanting. He let out a little chuckle. He then added another digit and picked up his pace. His long slender fingers hitting you in the right spot, you let out a guttural moan as he was hitting your sweet spot. “Yunho. Please. Cum. I’m gonna cum. Please don't stop.” You said between moans. You felt the knot in your stomach tightening, and right as you were about to release he pulled his fingers out.

You groaned in frustration. “Fuck Yunho please.” He leaned to your ear and whispered “Not yet pretty baby. If you can't be patient I won't let you cum okay?” He pulled away from your ear and started gently kissing down your stomach, making his way to your soaked core, your legs spreading instinctively. Leaving love bites at the tops of your thighs, you felt your hips buck as he kissed closer to your heat. His tongue finally gives your sensitive bud relief as you let out a high-pitched moan. You throw your hand over your mouth to keep from being too loud. You writhe in pleasure as he laps up your folds like a starved man.

Your breaths become irregular as you feel yourself about to release.”Yuunhoo!” You draw out as he pulls away again. “You’re doing such a good job baby. I'm gonna make you feel so good.” He pulls back and removes his pants. His thick cock springs up and smacks against his abdomen. “Are you ready sweetheart?” He asks with a gentle tone. “Yes sir please, I need you in me, please.” You whimper out as you spread yourself open, wetness pooling from your core. He lines himself up to your hole and slowly pushes in, your breath hitches as you feel him enter. Your walls practically pulling him in. “Fuuuuuck” He growls as he bottoms out. “You feel so good baby, so wet for me.” You let out a moan as he starts thrusting into you at a steady pace.

Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull yourself to his lips, using them as a cushion to muffle your moans. He snakes his hand down to your clit and begins rubbing it in a circular motion as he slams into you. Suddenly, he flips you over so you're straddling him. “Ride me sweetheart.” After adjusting yourself to the new angle you begin you bounce on his cock. The sound of skin echoing through the practice would be loud enough for anyone walking by to hear. Yunho grips your waist and starts fucking up into you, eliciting a wail from you.

Gripping his shoulders you begin feeling that familiar knot in your stomach, your moans get louder “Yunho! Please! I'm close, fuck I'm close!” He lets out a deep groan, thrusting up into you at speed you didn't think was possible. “So good baby. Gonna cum. Gonna fill you up baby.” He looks up into your eyes as if he were pleading. “Cum with me baby. Cum” as if on command, you both release at the same time- filling you up with a mix of both yours and his cum, your hands clawing at the tops of his shoulders as you both came down from your highs. Exhausted, you collapse on top of Yunho, both laying there listening to sounds of your breathing, feeling both of your hearts racing.

As you were pushing yourself up you felt Yunho gently grab the back of your neck and softly kiss you. As he pulls away he looks at you with tenderness and concern. “Are you okay? I didn't go too rough did I?” You smile down at him and shake your head. “No Yuyu, you were perfect.” He reaches over and grabs one of the towels you brought for your face and holds it under you as you pull yourself off of him. You both clean up the best you can and get dressed. You both sit back down on the floor and he pulls you into him, your head resting on his bicep.“I know it's a little backward to ask now, but I do really like you. I have since I met you, and I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me sometime?” He laughed nervously, averting your gaze as shyness took over him. You smiled and turned his head back towards you. “I’d love that Yuyu.”

Lying his head on yours his face gleamed with excitement as he took your hand into his. Turning to look at you with the biggest smile on his face “We should go dancing!”

[thevelria]

Promise me something, Kitten (SFW/younger!Gojo x neko!fem!reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note: This was a lovely request I got on Wattpad. I have never written anything like this before, so please be kind lol Otherwise I hope you're gonna enjoy it. 

Warnings: slight angst in the beginning and spoiler alerts if you haven't watched JJK season2 yet, or you didn't read the manga. 

WordCount:1.8K

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since Geto left Gojo tried to find his place in the world once again. He struggled and fought so hard but this whole situation was way new to the strongest sorcerer. His best friend wounded him in a way he never even thought it was possible. And even if Geto made big mistakes, made horrible decisions, still he missed him. He missed the laughs, the time together. Suguru was like a brother to him and he mourned their friendship after all these years just as much as he did in the beginning.

It's been 3 years, on this exact day, when he saw him for the last time. Gojo felt down and lost, walking home from a mission which wasn't a bother at all. It was as easy as mostly every other nowadays, he kept getting stronger and stronger. But he couldn't care less at the moment. It seemed the weather adjusted to his mood, big, dark clouds spread in the sky, threatening the possibility of a huge storm. Small droplets of rain started to form on the sidewalk. Satoru didn't bother about his infinity, he let the rain hit him. The cold, freezing feeling sent shivers down his body. He took off his sunglasses and faced the sky with a bittersweet smile on his face.

A soft whimpering hit his ears and he frowned immediately, putting his glasses right away back on and trying to find the source of the noise. It didn't take long for him to find a snow white little kitten shivering under a messy bush. It didn't take long for him to find you.

You looked horrible with your dirty fur, yet adorable. At least Gojo thought so. He reached his hand towards you, being completely unaware that you weren't a simple house cat. The way he smiled at you melted your heart. Somehow you felt safe, you felt a click, a tension, so you let him lift you up.

Gojo was holding you in one of his arms, while popping his umbrella with his other one. Even if his infinity could save him from the rain, he didn't want you to get wet either.

"Let's get you home, Kitten, shall we?" he kept admiring you.

On the way home he already decided to keep you. No matter what, you were his little furball now. As he passed a pet store he snapped his head at the window of the shop.

"Oh, you will need some things, won't you? Let's buy you everything you might need."

With four huge bags in his hand he walked out from the store. The second he realized he was going to need both of his hands to carry everything home. At least the rain stopped. So he zipped down his jacket. And gently placed you against his chest, zipping the jacket back up just as high as you could still pop your head out. You lifted your head up, blinking at him with your lovely eyes and he swore he saw you smile.

You were excited and tried to find the perfect spot on his chest. As you wiggled a bit and turned around, so now you faced his neck, you took a deep breath. His scent made you dizzy, he smelled so amazing. Like a light summer night with wild cherries.

"Stay still, Kitten. We are almost home." he smiled. At his words you started to purr and knead his neck softly, which caused him to chuckle. "What a cute creature you are."

His home looked cozy, but it definitely seemed like the home of a young man in his 20's. The first thing you spotted was the huge bookshelf with many many books on it. As he put you down the floor you rushed to the shelf. Almost forgot about your form. The living room became your favorite spot with the huge windows around. Gojo took out a huge box from one of the bags which was supposed to be a cat tree. He kept unpacking everything he got for you. A big, fluffy bed. It looked nice but you already knew you were going to sleep in his bed with him. Bowls for food and water, a pretty collar with a tiny bell on it. He even got a cute name tag "Kitten". Some stuff for your fur and you noticed a big plushie. Your pupils went wild and you ran to him immediately.

"You want it?" he giggled adorably before letting you grab the toy. As you held the ear of it and dragged it across the living room he kept laughing at you. "Alright, sweetheart." he stepped next to you and gently lifted you up by holding your tummy. "It is time for a bath." He wanted to hold you the way he brought you home, but before placing you against his chest he kept staring into your beautiful eyes. To show him how good he made you feel you leaned your head forward and quickly licked the tip of his nose. "Oh, fuck..." he laughed out loud "I'm already in love with you."

Gojo had no idea what to expect, he heard so many horror stories about bathing a cat. But not with you. You were such a good girl and let him bathe you easily, you even let him dry your fur with a big, fluffy towel. He kept rubbing your body, being very cautious and gentle.

"Look at you how beautiful you are." he kept talking to you. "Are you hungry, baby? Or maybe tired? Wanna play? We can do anything you desire."

Your heart was pounding against your chest, he acted so cute you could hardly handle it. After spending the afternoon together, you decided to take a nap. He started to build you the cat tree, so you laid down next to him and purred as long as you fell asleep.

Satoru carefully petted your head and back, causing you to wake up. "Princess, look, I finished it. Do you like it?" and once again he swore he saw you smile.

The rest of the day flew by and it was time for him to go to bed. "I'll take a quick shower." he looked at you. "Will you be a good, little kitty, yeah? Please don't destroy anything, okay?"

You almost rolled your eyes at his comment but instead you kept sitting straight, staring at him with soft eyes.

The second he walked out of the bathroom with only a towel loosely hanging around his waist your pupils went wild once again. His body looked incredibly hot, his broad chest, perfectly built abs, that V line and a tiny treasure trail made you drool.

"I swear, if you weren't just a kitty, I would say you were eyeing me up and down." he chuckled at his joke. Only if he knew...

During the night you made your way into his bed. He slept peacefully on his tummy, while you nuzzled on his lower back and wiggled into a comfortable position to sleep. From that on you spent every night in his bed.

Gojo talked to you as if you were a person, told you where he needed to leave and around what time he was going to get home. When you were alone at home you shifted back to your human form, wearing his clothes were the highlights of your day. But you were always aware to place everything back as he left it. You were not ready to reveal yourself just yet.

"Honey, I'm home." he cooed as he opened the door. You were running to him and the little bell on your sweet collar let him know you were on your way. "Come here, come!." he sat on his heels. "Did you miss me, hmm?" he pressed his forehead against yours as he lifted you up. You let out the cutest whine ever which made him smile.

He talked about his day, his mission. How he needed to fight more curses than he expected and how amazingly he handled everything all alone.

It became a tradition. He came home, you greeted him and he talked about his days. Sometimes he talked about his feelings to you. "I have no one to talk to, baby." he sighed, while you purred in his lap. His legs rested on the coffee table, the TV was on but he didn't care about it a bit. He played with the tip of your ear and sighed. The way he talked about Suguru almost made you cry. You wanted nothing else but comfort him.

"I feel so alone." he sighed. That was the moment you decided you were going to reveal yourself.

At night he was sleeping on his back only in boxers with you sleeping on his lower tummy. Out of nowhere you started to purr and knead on his abs. And slowly shifting into your real form. You turned into a beautiful woman with cute white ears and a long tail. As you kept purring your face nuzzled against his neck. One or two gentle licks woke him but still he was in a half asleep state.

"I'm so lonely that I'm dreaming about my cat turning human." he hummed a bittersweet laugh. One more lick before he frowned "Are you real?" he asked, as he rubbed your back up and down. He felt your bare skin against his.

"I am, 'Toru." you whispered. You bit your lower lip and the licks turned into little kissies on his neck. He let out a soft moan and turned his head to look at you. His mesmerizing blues always made you excited, so you stared back with huge pupils.

"Do you want me to shift back to my other form?" you asked, not knowing what his answer could be. Your lips were so close you felt his warm, uneven breath on your skin.

"Please, stay like this." his voice almost cracked.

The next you remembered his lips pressing against yours. His lips felt soft and sweet. He was eager to explore your mouth and the moment you let his tongue meet yours, he smiled into the kiss.

Gojo sat up, pressed his back against the headboard and positioned you on his lap. Your tail automatically hugged his waist as you kissed him once again. You lost counting how many times he kissed you before he pulled a bit back. Resting his neck on the headboard, admiring your true self. You didn't bother to let him see you naked, because you were already sure he was going to be your mate anyway.

"Promise me something, Kitten." his husky voice sent shivers down your spine.

"Anything."

"Don't leave me like everyone else does." he caressed your cheek.

"I'm yours for eternity." you rested your head in his palm. 

[andiwriteordie]

HIIII i have a prompt for u,

have mike get a vecna vision where will dies in his arms. 🤭🤭🤭

this is not a want its a NEED.

im in the mood for angst rn and i love ur art style so...... 😊😊

oh this was a cruel cruel prompt 😈

here's a ficlet that turned into a fic because i combined it with another prompt lol 🫡

—

holding hands, while the walls come tumbling down 

It starts like this.

The steady yet nervous thump, thump, thump of a heartbeat that Mike can hear as loud as his own. A body nestled right beside him; an artist’s hands, smooth and soft and ever gentle, intertwined with Mike’s; a boy he has known for nearly his entire life and loved in some way for just as long who is here, here, here lying next to him—all Mike’s for the taking, just like Mike is all his. 

It’s quiet in the room, save for the soft sound of their breathing. That, too, moves in time with each other—the gentle rise and fall of their chests as they breathe in and out, in and out, in and out.

Mike would stay here forever if he could. And he thinks—no, no, no; he knows, without a shadow of a doubt in his mind and in his heart—that Will feels the same.

Mike has always prided himself on being the type of person to give everything to what he does. Sometimes (oftentimes), everything isn’t enough, but that doesn’t stop him from giving it his all anyways. He’s never been the type of person to do something halfway; no, for Mike, it’s always been a deep dive into whatever it is he’s set his mind out to. An all or nothing kind of deal.

Will’s different from him. That’s something Mike’s known since their very first conversation, when his excitable, overeager “Hi! Do you want to be my friend?” was met with a quieter, shyer, but no less enthusiastic, “Yes; I – I do!” from Will. He’s not the type of first to run headfirst into something, which is probably good for Mike. It probably keeps them both out of trouble. But when Will does commit to something, when he chooses what he wants, when he decides that Yes, yes, yes, this is something I’m willing to fight for, then he’s every bit as passionate as Mike is.

All or nothing. 

There’s no turning back for the two of them, and Mike couldn’t care less. This path they’ve stumbled down on is one they’ve been walking down for quite some time now—together, even though they were both a little too blind and far too stubborn to see it. Now that they can finally see each other, now that everything is out in the light, now that Will knows Mike loves him and Mike knows that Will loves him too, there’s no going back from here. They’ve passed the point of no return, and Mike will be damned if they ever go back to what they used to be.

It’s been a longtime coming for the two of them, and as Will nestles closer to Mike’s side, resting his head on Mike’s chest and letting out another soft, content sigh, Mike can’t help but smile. 

The world around them might literally be on the brink of ending—constantly shrouded in darkness, plagued by monsters from the Upside Down, cold and always on the brink of another terrifying, disastrous storm that will threaten to rip Hawkins apart—but Mike has never been happier than he is in this moment, here with Will.

“What’re you thinking about?” comes Will’s quiet, sleepy voice, and Mike glances down at his boyfriend (Boyfriend? Right? Is that what we are now?) and meets Will’s gaze. There’s a softness in his eyes, mixed in with the sleepiness that’s not surprising for how late it must be now, as well as a familiar curiosity. 

What’s wrong? Will’s expression also seems to say. Are you okay? Was… was this okay?

Mike just smiles, leaning forward and kissing Will, soft and slow. Immediately, the butterflies in his stomach come back to life, more excited and awake than they’ve ever been before today. “Just about how happy I am,” Mike admits, once he’s pulled away. “I… I never really thought this would happen to me… To us.”

The curiosity melts away from Will’s face, morphing into something softer and something a bit hesitant and shy. He pulls away, ever so slightly, and lies on his side, and Mike does the same, so the two of them are looking directly at one another now. The dim glow of the old lamp that’d made it with Mike all these years—somehow surviving the move from his childhood home to Hawkins Lab and making it through the literal apocalypse—shines down on them, illuminating Will’s face just enough for Mike to see him clearly.

Beautiful is the only word that comes to Mike’s mind.

“I never thought this would happen either,” Will whispers back. There’s a smile tugging at his lips, small and a bit shy, and he reaches forward, tucking some of Mike’s hair back behind his ears. “Part of me thinks I’m just… gonna wake up, and this is all going to have been a dream. Or worse. A trance.”

“Pretty sure it’s not a dream,” Mike says with a laugh, and just for good measure, he kisses Will again, relishing in the way Will’s face immediately brightens. “Or a trance. Unless we’re… both dreaming. Or stuck in a trance.”

“Stranger things have happened to us,” Will points out, just to be difficult. 

Mike rolls his eyes, before pulling Will close to him and kissing him again, slower this time and with more intention. Will moves easily in his embrace, following where Mike leads the two of them until their bodies are flush against each other again, filling Mike with that familiar sense of warmth and giddiness. And because it’s Will and because he wants this as much as Mike does, and because they’re both the type of people to go all in—all or nothing—Will kisses him back without any hesitation, his tongue exploring Mike’s mouth like this is the first and last time they’ll ever get to do this and his hands carding through Mike’s hair to pull him close, close, close but not close enough. 

“I love you,” Mike breathes. The words come naturally, and though they’ve gone unspoken all night, Mike knows they haven’t gone unsaid. Every single kiss and every single glance and every single touch shared between the two of them has been a whisper of those three words over and over and over again: I love you, I love you, I love you.

And there’s not a single doubt in Mike’s mind that he means it. 

A smile forms on Will’s face as he leans away, resting his forehead against Mike’s own. He looks absolutely radiant like this, face illuminated by the soft glow of that old lamp, smile stretching from ear to ear, eyes sparkling with a warmth that screams back to Mike, I love you, I love you, I love you, with just as much enthusiasm and excitement that Mike feels in his own heart.

“I love you too,” Will whispers back, and he reaches forward, cupping Mike’s face gently. “I love you so much.”

Then, without another word, Will closes the space between the two of them once more.

**

Mike wakes the next morning to the sound of screaming.

The sound startles him right out of whatever dream he’d been having, and Mike flinches sharply, sitting up and looking around the room. His heart pounds inside his chest, and an unsettled, terrified feeling grows inside his stomach as everything inside him switches from a sleepy, even idyllic state to DANGER, DANGER, DANGER mode in a matter of seconds. 

Save for the dim light of his desk lamp, the room is relatively dark, and there’s no one else in the room except for Mike and—

And Will.

There’s a terrified look on Will’s face, and much like Mike, he’s looking around the room, eyes darting back and forth nervously like he has no idea where he is or what’s real or whether or not they’re safe. He’s trembling too, hands clenched tightly around Mike’s old blanket, and he seems like he’s just another few moments away from a complete breakdown.

And instantly, Mike’s mind switches from the DANGER, DANGER, DANGER mode to his Will needs me mode.

“Hey,” Mike whispers, scooting close to Will and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Will immediately flinches, startled by the touch, and Mike winces, running his hand up and down Will’s army gently. “Hey, it’s just me, Will. You’re okay. You’re okay. It was just a dream. Whatever you saw… it’s not real.”

That promise – it’s not a new one. After all, the last two-and-a-half years have been full of sleepless nights brought on by otherworldly nightmares. Nobody has been spared from them, but of everyone in the Party, Will has probably suffered the most, thanks to his deeper connection to One. These nightmares are nothing new, and yet, every single time Will suffers from one of them, it feels like a knife in Mike’s heart.

He can’t make the nightmares go away, but he can be there for Will. He can sit with Will until the darkness fades away, back into a vague memory, and he can hold Will and make promises that It’ll be okay; you’ll be okay; I’m not going anywhere; we’ll get through this. That’s really all Mike can do, and so God damn it, that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

Usually, it helps. It takes time, but usually, Will is receptive to the comfort, always leaning in close and allowing Mike to hold him until the terror subsides. 

But for some reason, this time, Will isn’t so receptive. 

It takes a moment, but out of nowhere, Will pushes Mike away, that terrified look still remaining on his face. He’s even paler than he was just a second ago, causing confusion to grow in Mike’s heart and mind. Before Mike can say anything though, Will whispers, “Mike… we have to go. Now.”

There’s an urgency in his voice unlike anything Mike has ever heard before, and that, coupled with the look of pure fear in Will’s eyes, is enough for Mike to understand exactly what’s going on, even before Will says anything about it. After all, there’s only one thing that would scare Will this much, and really, it’s just their shared, awful luck that this would happen today of all days. 

They just got together—finally, after years and years of dancing around each other and hiding from themselves and one another and never fully knowing if their feelings would be reciprocated. They just crossed that line from just friends into something more, and now…

Now, the world is actually, quite literally about to end. Now, the two of them stand on the precipice of something that could change everything and could ultimately decide the fate of the rest of the world. Now, the past five years of having their lives uprooted by the Upside Down will come to an end, one way or another.

Mike swallows the lump in the back of his throat, and he turns, meeting Will’s eyes. “It’s him, isn’t it?” he asks quietly, though he already knows the answer. 

A grim expression forms on Will’s face, and he takes another slow, shuddered breath, before nodding. “Yeah,” Will whispers back. “It’s him. One’s back, and we… we have to go. Now.”

The words before it’s too late hang on the end of Will’s sentence—unspoken, but not unsaid. He doesn’t have to say anything else or give any other details. Not yet at least. Those will come in time, as soon as they wake up the others and fill them in on what’s happening. But for right now, just between the two of them, all that Will has said is enough. 

And Mike gets the awful feeling that… that one way or another, today is going to be the end.

“Okay,” Mike whispers. He takes a deep breath. In and out. In and out. In and out. Then, a bit more confident, “We’ll go wake the others up, and we’ll put an end to this. It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

Those words aren’t ones that he has any business promising, and both of them know it. Still, Will’s shoulders do relax just a little bit, and he scoots close to Mike once more, taking Mike’s hand in his own. “It’s going to be okay,” Will echoes faintly. “We’ll make it through this.”

There’s a slight tremble in his voice, like he doesn’t know if he believes those words, and truthfully, Mike doesn’t know if he does either. But he forces himself to smile anyways and leans forward, kissing Will’s forehead. “Whatever happens today,” Mike says, his voice quiet, “I want you to know I love you.”

For a moment, it’s quiet in the room—the only sound the faint inhale and exhale from Will and from Mike himself. Then, in a voice that’s impossibly soft but still full of so much certainty, Will replies, “I know… and I love you too. Always.”

He glances back up at Mike with a bittersweet look in his eyes. The words are true, and Mike has no doubt about that in his mind… But both of them know that the words are a bit of a goodbye too—the last chance they might get to say things like this to one another, in case today doesn’t go the way any of them plan for it to.

Best case scenario? 

El manages to defeat One. None of their friends or family die. Hawkins and the rest of the world are saved. Somehow, some way, they figure out how to go back to being normal, stupid teenagers, and they put all of this behind them.

Worst case scenario? 

Well… Mike doesn’t really want to think about that. Best not to deal in what ifs and best not to let himself become too terrified of the outcome. What matters most is right now and finding the others, so they can actually stand a fighting chance. 

What comes later will come later.

“Always,” Mike echoes, just as soft as Will, and because he can—he can now—he leans forward and steals a quick kiss. “Come on. We should go wake the others.”

**

Downtown Hawkins is a complete wreck.

There’s no other way to describe it. This place has been a ghost town for over two years now, run down and battered and destroyed by the monsters that come up out of the rifts from the Upside Down. That’s no surprise at all, but what is a surprise is just how quickly a ghost town can become a battlefield. 

There are monsters everywhere, and large, black vines sprout up from the middle of the town—what used to be the library but has been a massive gate leading to the Upside Down since March 1986. The monsters just keep on coming, hundreds of them crawling, flying, stumbling out of the gate with roars and snarls so loud it’s a miracle Mike’s eardrums don’t burst.

The Party—which now unfortunately includes more than just the close friends Mike’s known since his childhood—has been training for this the entire time. Over three years of preparation have led them to this moment, but even all that time spent training and learning how to fight and how not to immediately die in battle can only get them so far. There’s only a small handful of them, and there are hundreds of monsters. 

If El can’t beat One, then there’s no way this doesn’t end with every single last one of them dead at the hands of some twisted, demo-creature. 

Still, Mike keeps fighting, operating on nothing but pure adrenaline now. There’s definitely a nasty cut and a bump on his head from a tussle with some mutated demodog of sorts, but Mike barely pays any attention to that. All he can do is keep fighting, shooting down demo-creature after creature and praying to whatever fucking deity may or may not be listening that he doesn’t run out of bullets before this is all said and done.

He’s long since lost track of nearly all the other Party members. El’s off somewhere fighting One. Lucas and Dustin are nowhere to be found but hopefully still alive and hopefully with someone else in their little group. The only person Mike’s managed to keep an eye on this whole time has been Will—and only because he and Will refuse to leave one another’s side. They’ve spent the better part of this battle fighting back-to-back with one another, barrages of well-aimed bullets flying out from their rifles and into the bodies of the monsters threatening to rip them into shreds. 

If this is how it ends, then all Mike knows is that he wants to be close to Will. 

The battle feels like it goes on forever—or at least long enough that the adrenaline begins to wear off, and the rifle in Mike’s hands begins to feel too heavy, and his limbs start to feel like they’re made out of jello. The exhaustion settles in, but there’s no time for that. Not when monster after monster keeps coming through the massive gate by the old library. So, despite the fact that everything begins to become a blur around him and it feels a bit like Mike is swimming underwater, trying his damnedest just to stay afloat, Mike keeps going and going and going in this hazy state until—

Until a scream pulls him right out of the haze. 

That scream is the gravity that takes Mike’s hand and pulls, pulls, pulls until Mike is crashing back down to earth in a crumpled heap. Suddenly, Mike feels more awake and more attuned to his surroundings and filled with a newfound strength that wasn’t there before.

It comes too little, too late though.

Because as Mike turns around, looking in the direction that the scream had just come from, he feels his heart drop all the way to the bottom of his stomach. Pure panic and terror settle into his heart and mind, replacing the exhaustion from before, and in an instant, it’s like everything within Mike has been reoriented, only able to focus on one thing.

On one person.

“Will!”

The scream tears itself from Mike’s throat, and before he can even process it, Mike is sprinting to where his boyfriend now lies on the ground, bright red blood pooling around him. The two of them must’ve gotten separated only moments ago, because Will’s a few feet away from him, and there’s a whimpering, half-dead demo-creature lying halfway between the two of them. The blood from the creature flows down the street, joining the pool of Will’s blood, and Mike fights the urge to gag as he throws himself down onto the pavement beside him.

The battle rages on all around the two of them, monstrous roars still echoing in the streets of their hometown—the horrific soundtrack to what is easily the worst moment of Mike’s life.

Because up close, it becomes even more clear just how bad Will’s injuries are. What’s left of his shirt is soaked in blood, and the tattered remains of the shirt barely cover the open wounds in Will’s chest and stomach. Every single breath he takes is labored and trembling, and already, his eyes have become glassy and distant.

He’s dying. 

Will is dying, and if Mike doesn’t do anything about it, he’s going to lose him, he’s going to lose Will, oh God, he’s going to lose Will, oh God, oh God, oh God—

“M-Mike?”

It’s Will’s wheezy, strained voice that snaps Mike out of the panic, and Mike flinches sharply, looking down at his boyfriend. Will’s eyes flutter open and closed, open and closed, and he struggles to keep them open as he looks up at Mike. He’s even paler than he was just mere moments again.

He’s fading. Quickly. Faster than Mike can even keep up with, let alone do something about.

Will is dying.

And Mike is going to lose him.

“J-just hold on, Will,” Mike manages to say, except that it comes out as more of a hoarse croak. His own chest feels tight, like someone is squeezing all the air right out from his lungs, and Mike chokes back a sob, weakly reaching for Will and pulling him into his arms. “Just hold on, okay? Okay, just hold on; you’re going to be okay; just hold on—HELP! Someone please! HELP! HELP US!”

Somehow, there’s no one around. Nobody can hear the strangled, desperate screams that are coming out of Mike’s mouth; nobody is around to see him sobbing and hugging Will tighter, as if somehow holding on to him will keep him here and keep him alive. Not even the demo-creatures, who were just surrounding them and threatening their lives, are around. 

It’s just Mike and Will here.

Nobody is coming to help them.

Will is dying.

And Mike is going to lose him.

“I’m sorry,” Mike gasps, looking back down at Will through the blurry tears in his eyes. “Will, I… I don’t think… I don’t know if—”

“Shh,” Will whispers, and he reaches up weakly, placing a trembling hand on Mike’s cheek. Somehow, he manages a smile, though his lips and teeth are stained red with blood. “Shh… Mike… ‘s okay… ‘s okay.”

Every single word out of his mouth sounds strained, as if it hurts to say anything, and Mike bites back a sob, holding Will closer. “It’s not okay,” he whispers back, shaking his head. “I – I don’t… I don’t want to lose you, Will. You can’t go; please, you can’t—”

Again, Will offers him a smile, and he runs his thumb carefully, gently across Mike’s cheek. “You… you’ll be okay,” he murmurs and takes another quiet, labored breath. Then: “I… I’m glad you’re… here with me.”

The words feel like a knife in Mike’s already wounded heart, twisting deeper and deeper and delivering the final blow. That familiar feeling of desperation crawls back up to the surface as Mike tries to think of something—anything—he can do to save Will. There has to be something that can be done, some way to save Will, some solution that will keep them from the ending they’re quickly approaching.

But without anyone nearby, there’s nothing that can be done. There’s no solution, no way to save Will at this point, nothing that Mike can do.

Nothing except for sit here and stay with Will until the very end.

So, that’s exactly what Mike does.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Mike promises softly, and he tilts his head, pressing a kiss against Will’s palm. The tears won’t stop now; they just keep coming and coming, dripping down Mike’s cheeks and onto the bloody ground. “I’ll stay here with you, Will… until… until…”

His voice trails off, dissolving into another sob, but Will gets exactly what Mike is trying to say. He always does, and though he looks exhausted and barely able to hold on any longer, Will smiles up at Mike and takes his other hand, interlacing their fingers. 

Time, the strange thing that it is, seems to slow down around them. It’s as if Mike is having an out-of-body experience, watching all this happen in slow motion around them—a mere observer to the worst moment of his life and the end of Will’s.

“I love you,” Will murmurs, breathless and barely audible now. 

“I love you too,” Mike whispers back, and he squeezes Will’s hand tightly, afraid to let go. The world shrinks and shrinks and shrinks until it’s just the two of them, frozen in this slow motion reality, and he watches as Will’s eyes flutter open and closed, open and closed, open… and closed.

He doesn’t open his eyes again.

And Mike’s world comes crashing down.

All at once, it’s as if the dam has burst, and another desperate, broken sob rips itself from Mike’s throat: “Will!” 

Whatever sense of peace or at least acceptance that he might have found lulled into during Will’s last moments has all but disappeared now—replaced by a gut-wrenching, all-consuming, grief that washes over him like a flood. The rest of the world still feels far away, as if nothing else in the world matters but Will, Will, Will.

Will is gone.

Will is gone. 

He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone, he’s lying here and is dead in Mike’s arms, he isn’t breathing anymore, and his blood is all over the ground and all over Mike, and he’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone—

“I’m sorry,” Mike whispers brokenly, and he holds onto Will’s lifeless body, rocking back and forth in some desperate attempt to wake him up or to do something, anything, to fix this. “P-please come back, Will; please, please, please don’t go, please come back, don’t leave me, please don’t go, please, Will, please come back, please, Will—”

Time passes in its ever strange, inconsistent movement. It’s hard something that Mike can’t keep track of—not when his focus is solely on Will. 

But then, out of nowhere, something pulls Mike’s focus away from Will.

The air grows colder around the two of them; a pervasive, terrifying feeling of evil and darkness settles over downtown Hawkins. It’s familiar but jarring all at once, and Mike can’t help but shudder, holding Will’s body closer to his own. Slowly but surely, reality begins to settle back in, trickling in little by little through the cracks of Mike’s broken heart and mind.

The world around him is eerily quiet and terrifyingly still. Unlike the battlefield from before, downtown Hawkins has once again been reduced to nothing but a near silent ghost town. Gone are the vicious snarls and growls of monsters. Gone is the sound of bullets ricocheting through the air. Gone are the screams and furious cries of his friends and family.

In place of all of that is the simple sound of footsteps approaching him.

The footsteps are quickly approaching. Each step taken is one made with intention, and the movement brings that pervasive feeling of darkness closer and closer to Mike until the air around him feels near suffocating. All the while, Mike’s heart pounds in a nervous thumpthumpthump as the realization settles back in.

The battle is over.

There is no one left—no one but Mike.

All of his family, his friends, Will… they’re all gone.

And One has done it. He’s finally succeeded.

This is it.

This is the end.

As the footsteps approach, Mike takes a deep breath, and he leans down, pressing one last kiss to Will’s forehead. If this is it, if this is the end, if somehow Mike is the last person left of the Party, then he won’t go down without a fight. It doesn’t matter how futile it is. Mike has to at least try.

So, he gathers up all the courage left inside of him, and Mike lifts his head, daring to look One in the eye. 

Icy blue eyes meet Mike’s own for the first time as something akin to a smile forms on One’s face. He looks pleased—amused even—and stops, just a few feet away from Mike and Will. “Michael Wheeler,” One says, voice low and gravelly, “we meet at last.”

Mike swallows the lump in his throat, doing the best to ignore the way his stomach is twisted into knots. It feels impossible—that he would be the last person standing here after all this fighting and bloodshed. Mike’s never been much of a hero, and God knows that he barely stands a fighting chance against One. 

Still, his friends died trying to fight One and the monsters of the Upside Down. Will died trying to fight One and the monsters of the Upside Down. And if Mike is going to die too, then… so be it. 

“Rot in hell,” Mike spits, his own voice full of venom. His rifle’s long since gone, tossed aside somewhere in the desperation to save Will, so all he’s got left to fight with now are his words. Those will just have to do. 

One just chuckles and takes another step towards Mike, gesturing to the ruins of downtown Hawkins. “Look around you, Michael,” he says coldly, and against his own better judgment, Mike does so, his breath hitching as he takes in the carnage from the battle. “Do you see what I have done? Do you see what I am capable of? Do you see how futile fighting back is?” 

Suddenly, it feels as though some invisible force is wrapped around Mike, and it pulls him all the way to his feet with a terrified yelp. The force squeezes him so tightly Mike feels like he can barely breathe, and it brings him forward until Mike finds himself barely inches away from One. 

Another twisted smile forms on One’s face. He reaches forward, running his large, clawed hand down Mike’s cheek, and whispers, “You’re going to send a message for me, Michael Wheeler.” 

Barely a moment after the words have left his mouth, the visions begin.

The visions are familiar—some moments that Mike has lived through and seen with his own two eyes and others that he’s only heard about from his friends and family. They flash across his eyes at dizzying, overwhelming speeds, one right after another after another. 

At first, the visions are moments from today. Glimpses of the battle they all have just fought and lost, the screams of his friends and family, the snarls and growls of hundreds of demo-creatures coming out from the gates. But then, the visions work their way backwards, moving through moments in time from patrols over these past two years, Upside Down storms that began to cover Hawkins, and sporadic monster attacks that they almost didn’t survive.

The day at the meadow flashes through Mike’s line of sight too, before it quickly melts away into memories not belonging to himself. A jarring CRACK resonates through his mind as he watches Max’s bones snap and sees the gates ripping across all of Hawkins during that spring. Then, even before that, he sees Eddie’s death, sees his friends fighting for their lives against demobats and against vines, sees El and Max struggling against One’s power over them.

Suddenly, it’s the summer before, with the Mind Flayer and the Flayed and Billy. Starcourt Mall, going up in flames as the Mind Flayer’s fleshy form towered over and chased all of them. Black tendrils tracing up and down Billy’s face as an otherworldly horror controlled his actions. Will’s haunted whisper that the Mind Flayer was back, that this wasn’t over, that they still hadn’t escaped this.

Then, it’s the fall before that. The tunnels and the massive gate to the Upside Down. The night at the lab, with demodogs tearing through flesh and bone and with people screaming and crying for help. The Mind Flayer’s shadowy form, descending on Will, choking him, filling him up, and taking over his mind and body.

Finally, the visions end with that very first fall. The demogorgon, feasting on Brenner’s men at Hawkins Middle School. Hopper and Joyce finding Will in Upside Down. Will hiding and running for his life in the Upside Down, all alone with no one to help him. Barb screaming for help as the demogorgon rips her to shreds, and then—

Will.

Riding his bike through Hawkins, that very first night when this all began.

“Tell Will,” One’s voice whispers into the silence of Will’s bike ride through Hawkins, “that I am coming. The end is near, Michael. And there is nothing any of you can do to stop what I have been planning all along.”

One last vision flickers across Mike’s line of sight.

A memory that he still remembers, clear as day.

“It was a seven,” Will’s twelve year-old self says to Mike’s own younger self.

“Huh?” 

“The roll,” Will explains. “It was a seven. The demogorgon – it got me. Well, see you tomorrow!”

And just like that, Will’s younger self rides away, leaving Mike’s younger self standing just outside his garage.

Mike watches as the garage light flickers above his younger self.

Then, in the next instant, he finds himself falling into the darkness.

**

The darkness seems to last for an eternity. 

There’s an inky black void surrounding him as Mike falls, and he can’t help but scream, reaching out for something, anything to pull himself back up. But there’s absolutely nothing there to hold onto, so Mike just continues to fall and fall and fall, further and further into the darkness.

Then, suddenly, the darkness dissipates. The fog clears just a little bit, enough for Mike to hear someone call out his name: “MIKE!” 

Will? 

“MIKE!” the person—that’s Will, it has to be Will—calls again, more desperate this time, and Mike reaches back up, trying to grasp onto anything that will pull him out of the darkness. The way out seems just a little bit closer now, getting easier to reach out to as Will calls his name again, “MIKE! MIKE! MI—”

And with a gasp, Mike opens his eyes.

Light floods his line of sight, replacing the never-ending darkness at an overwhelmingly fast pace. Mike’s mind feels like it’s racing at a million miles an hour, and his heart is pounding inside his chest, so hard that it almost hurts to breathe. All the while, the room spins around and around and around and around and—

Suddenly, Mike’s knees buckle, nearly sending him crashing to the ground. Fortunately, someone—Will—is there to catch him, and though the two of them both stumble, Will manages to break his fall. “Mike?” he asks, voice full of concern. “Mike, hey, are you okay?” 

There are tears in Will’s eyes, and his face looks blotchy, like he’s been crying. Still, even with the worry written all over his expression, there’s relief there too, and Mike takes a shuddered breath, choosing to focus on Will. 

Will’s here. Will’s here, and he – he’s alive. He’s alive. Mike didn’t lose him. He’s not dead. Will isn’t dead.

Which means…

That entire battle must have been a vision from One. An opportunity for One to pass along a message that he’d been waiting to send. And… a warning for what’s still to come.

“Shit,” Mike whispers. “Shit. Will, we have to – he… One… I—”

“Hey, just take a deep breath,” Will says worriedly, and he hesitates, before reaching for Mike’s hand. “Just breathe, okay? Mike, you – you were in that trance for a while. We couldn’t snap you out of it, and I… I thought I was going to lose you.”

Will’s voice breaks on those last few words, breaking Mike’s heart with it. “I’m still here,” Mike reassures, reaching up and cupping Will’s cheek as gently as he can. “I’m still here, Will.”

A bright rosy blush spreads across Will’s face as his eyes widen and glance at Mike’s hand. “I know you are,” he replies quietly, “but I… I still could’ve lost you. I – I mean… we all could have.” 

The memories of seeing Will’s mangled body on the ground, surrounded by a pool of blood, come back to the forefront of Mike’s mind, and he can’t help but shudder. Without giving it another thought, he wraps his arms around Will, hugging him as tight as he possibly can. 

Mike… he still has no idea how much of the past two days have actually been part of his vision from One versus how much was real. There’s no doubt in his mind that the battle itself and his encounter with One were all a result of being held in a trance, but as for… as for everything that came before that—confessing his love for Will and learning about Will’s feelings in return—Mike isn’t honestly sure. 

There’s a part of him that thinks… maybe that stuff was just too good to be true. Maybe Mike did make that all up in his mind, or maybe it was just a trick from One, designed to taunt him before delivering the final blow. Maybe what happened with Will the night before that battle was nothing more than just a dream. 

Mike swallows the lump in his throat, and he tries not to think about that as Will hugs him tighter and buries his head in Mike’s shoulder. “I’m still here,” Mike repeats, softer now than before. “We’re both still here… We’re not going to lose each other, Will.” 

“The end is near, Michael,” One’s voice echoes through his mind—the cruel threat solidified in his mind now as a promise. This isn’t over. What Mike saw in his vision… it may very well come to pass. 

And just like Will once said to him, One isn’t going to stop until he takes everything and everyone. 

“And there is nothing any of you can do to stop what I have been planning all along,” One had told him, as the visions of Will leaving Mike’s house on that fateful night had played out for him like a twisted home video. 

More importantly, One isn’t going to stop until takes Will.

Mike can’t let that happen. He can’t lose Will.

Will takes a shaky breath of his own, and he pulls away, just enough for the two of them to look at each other, and offers Mike a tiny smile. “We won’t,” he agrees softly. He hesitates, then carefully lifts his hand, resting it against Mike’s cheek. “Are you… are you okay?” 

Will’s hand is warm against Mike’s face, and his touch feels like electricity. There’s something so genuine and so tender about the way that he’s looking at Mike and the way he gently runs his thumb across Mike’s cheek, over and over again. He’s here—warm and firm and solid, close enough that Mike is able to take his hand and hold on and never let go. 

Will’s here. He’s okay. He’s safe. 

And for now, that’s all that matters. 

So, even in spite of One’s haunting message and the visions from their past and the warnings of the future, Mike finds the ability to smile. He reaches up, putting his hand over Will’s, and he nods. “I’m okay. You’re here, so… I’m okay.”

Those words cause Will’s face to turn an even brighter shade of red, but he smiles regardless, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against Mike’s own. He takes Mike’s other free hand in his own and doesn’t say anything else—not that Mike needs him to. They’ve always been able to communicate without words, and this time is no different. 

Sure, the future might be bleak, and there’s no telling whether One’s visions will come to pass, even in spite of their best efforts to fight back. But right here, right now, he and Will are together. They’re both safe, and they’re both here.

All they can do is take this moment for what it's worth and hold onto each other while they still can. 

And for now, it ends in very much the same way that Mike thinks it began.

The steady yet nervous thump, thump, thump of a heartbeat that Mike can hear as loud as his own. A body nestled close beside him; an artist’s hands, smooth and soft and ever gentle, intertwined with Mike’s; a boy he has known for nearly his entire life and loved in some way for just as long who is here, here, here right in front—all Mike’s for the taking, just like Mike is all his. 

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Pregnant Kim anon here again, please know that after I sent that I decided to “warm up” by outlining an entire fic and didn’t get any novel writing done lol. I would love a snippet full of ANGST because I think Kim deserves it right now for what he’s done to my brain

asdfjhagsdjfh VALID! ALL OF THAT IS VALID!

Here is your angst, my darling. I realized I actually don't have a ton of the pregnancy itself written yet, so here's a little bit (lol. it's over 1k, I got carried away) that happens soon after the birth. Kim has horrible post-partum depression thanks to everything that happens in this fic. TW for graphic description of depression and implied suicidal ideation

Chay entered the bedroom to find Kim beneath the covers still, at nearly three in the afternoon. Curled up on his side, tears steadily leaking from the corner of his eye every time he blinked, making a wet spot on the pillow beneath his cheek. He wasn’t even really crying. His eyes were just wet, and that wetness was dripping, and Kim had long since given up on trying to stop it. 

Chay didn’t ask, are you okay? Because he already knew what the answer would be. Instead he climbed onto the bed and spooned up behind Kim, and asked him, “What are you thinking about?”

“It’s not real.”

“What isn’t?”

“This. The depression. All of it. It feels real. It feels awful. But it isn’t. It’s just hormones and chemicals. It’s not me.” Kim didn’t sniffle, or sob, or sigh. His voice didn’t change from the even, monotonous quality it always had when he was trying not to feel. He just breathed. Closed his eyes against a fresh wave of tears, not that it did anything to halt their fall. “I thought once it was over, everything would be okay. I would be free. But it’s never going to stop, is it? There’s no normal for me to go back to. Just this.”

“P’Kim—” Chay’s voice cracked. He swallowed back what sounded like the beginnings of a sob and buried his face in the back of Kim’s neck. Weeks of exposure to Kim’s moods hasn’t made them any easy to handle, not least of all because he knew there’s nothing for him to do. He couldn’t take away this pain. “Please don’t talk like that. It is going to be okay. This isn’t forever. The doctor said it would take at least a month for your medicine to start working—it has to build up in your system, remember? Then everything will be okay.”

Kim didn’t say that the antidepressants only made him feel worse. Blunted him. Blurred any scrap of goodness he could cling too, until it was part of the same empty haze as everything else. He didn’t say that there was no drug strong enough to mask the bone-deep repulsion he felt every time he cradled his daughter to his breast to nurse. Nothing that could make him forget her conception when the pain of her birth was a constant reminder. He didn’t say anything at all. 

Chay squeezed his arm around Kim’s middle, between his aching, swollen breasts, and his aching, swollen incision. Squeezed tight enough that it should have hurt if Kim were capable of feeling anything at all. 

“You’re scaring me, P’Kim,” Chay whispered, holding Kim so tight he could hardly breathe. That was alright. He didn’t need to breathe. 

“I love you, Chay. Thank you for staying with me. I… I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. Or that I did, I shouldn’t have—right before—” Before he nearly died. He shouldn’t have said it then. In what he thought were his last moments, he needed Chay to know. But it was selfish to let those be his last words to the boy. 

“Thank you for telling me. I’m glad you did. And I love you, too, P’Kim, so much. You are so, so loved, and someday soon, all of this is going to be better, okay? You just have to hold on until then.” Chay’s voice turned near-manic as it fully dawned on him just what he was bargaining for. “Promise me, Kim. Promise me you won’t leave again.”

“I promise.” A mechanical admission in that dull voice, but no less true. Kim found Chay’s hand where it was pressed over his beating heart and laced their fingers together. 

Kim knew Chay would no doubt tell their brothers about his alarming mood, and they would no doubt take him back to the doctor. He knew about the lists Chay had printed out and hidden away in his desk, spread across three pages and outlining the symptoms of baby blues, postpartum depression, and psychosis, with little checked boxes to track him. He’d filled out nearly half the page for depression before ever leaving the hospital. 

Kim wondered how many ticks he got on the last page before they took him away for good. Before they took his daughter away. Maybe they should; she would no doubt be better off without him. He hadn’t even wanted to keep her. Had nearly bled out moments after meeting her. Maybe it was a sign he wasn’t meant to have her at all. 

“Make sure Kiah’s taken care of,” Kim said softly, his face half-buried in the pillows. “I can’t—I’m not good for her. If I can’t take care of her, you’ll find someone who will, won’t you?” Kim went through too much to bring her into this world, he wouldn’t let her suffer for his own unwillingness to give her up, if that’s what it took to offer a better life. 

Behind him, Chay swallowed thickly. 

“Of course, P’Kim. I’ll make sure she’s always safe and loved.” 

The weight that’s been hung around Kim’s shoulders since he made the decision to bring Kiah home finally lifted, a relief he didn’t know he needed. He sighed and sank back into Chay’s warm embrace, the tension finally melting out of his body, and squeezed the hand still lying over his heart. 

“You’re safe and loved, too,” Chay said. “You have me, and Porsche, and your brothers, and P’Pol, and P’Arm, and P’Big. We’re all going to make sure both of you are safe and loved and taken care of. I won’t leave you alone again, P’Kim. Not ever.”

Kim didn’t doubt it. He never had. All this time, Chay’s love—the love of his family—has been an unwavering presence, cutting through the misery that’s cloaked him these last nine months. Kim didn’t know how to express that to Chay. That there was nothing to worry about. Kim wouldn’t hurt himself, with or without their constant supervision. He didn’t want to. He was only acknowledging the unrelenting misery he felt every waking moment, and accepting that it would likely follow him for the rest of his life. He didn’t prefer it, but he knew it was inevitable that these feelings would continue to be his constant companions. 

However he may feel, Kim knew he owed it to his daughter to be the best father he could be for her. And if his best wasn’t good enough, he would find someone that could give her what she deserved. Even still, Kim appreciated the reassurance. Appreciated Chay, for the way the younger boy has stayed at his side for so long, seen him through so much horror and heartbreak, and would show that appreciation however he could. Even if the most he could do was hold his hand and promise not to leave.

[spaceyflowerswriting]

I heard this rumor that Lua would be Jake's future gf lol. So, I have this request.

Could you write something fluff and a bit angst about Jake's s/o is being jealous and anxious when they heard rumor that Jake has a crush on Lua (which is not true). His s/o is stressed out because of the rumor and then his s/o wants to take a hiatus on their relationship, at first Jake doesn't agree with their demand, and so the rest is up to you. If this request kinda weird, you can ignore it. Thankyou

clearing things up (jake x reader)

details: soft angst-y oneshot, gender neutral reader but written in 2nd pov, general canon au, you and jake have been dating for a good while

summary: the rumor going around about your boyfriend beginning to love someone else is starting to make you anxious.

a/n: no worries, i like this request idea !! :] thank u for requesting <33 also apologies if i added more angst than fluff T_T

×

Honestly, you were happy for Lua for starting to get more welcomed into Big Deal instead of having practically every man except Jason, Brad, and Lineman run away the second they heard her name but... oh, why did people have to start whispering that now that Jake wasn't scared of her anymore, he was starting to have a crush on her?

"Obviously he doesn't... right?"

The second that thought entered your head, you knew you were being ridiculous, but you couldn't ignore it. How could you when it was pretty much the only thing occupying your mind these days? And if the rumors weren't bad enough, you felt like you were beginning to see why said rumors started in the first place.

Lua and Jake looked like they got along really well. They were always so smiley and laughing with one another, and as No. 5 and No. 1 of Big Deal respectively, they spent a lot of time scheming together. Not to mention, Lua was quite attractive and her occasional idiocy was endearing. Her sharp attitude was also charming. It would be no surprise if Jake found himself falling for her.

You sighed, beginning to grow frustrated with yourself. You couldn't believe you were letting this stress you out. All it would take to relieve yourself of it would simply be to ask Jake but you just couldn't. It felt like you would only make a fool out of yourself if you did. Plus, you were worried you might get branded as the crazy, overly-jealous partner.

If anything, you've quietly been asking Jake for more reassurance about your relationship with him but that was about it. His words helped for a while, and then when they faded, you would be back to square one.

"I don't know what to do." A deep frown formed on your face. "Maybe all I need is a break from everything and then I can come back with a clear head and realize how dumb I sound later. Then I'll just pretend nothing ever happened and I was totally never bothered by these rumors about my boyfriend being romanticallly interested in someone else."

You put your head in your hands, shutting your eyes. "I still sound ridiculous but if this is what it takes..." Taking a deep breath, you hastily stood up and went to find Jake.

Thankfully, he wasn't around Lua when you found him so you felt like you would be less likely to back track from your sudden plan.

"Jake, can I talk to you privately?"

He turned to wink at you, saying, "Why of course," and then turned back to Jerry to tell him he'll be back. He stood up from his seat and strolled over to you, casually snaking an arm around your waist to rest his hand there. "We need to go into a room or is it a quick thing?"

Forget what you thought earlier. The gentle smile on his face already made you want to back track--but you couldn't let your stress pile up anymore than it already was. Getting space from Jake was probably your only solution. So, you decided to proceed with your idea. "A room."

"Lead the way, love."

You nodded and ended up taking the both of you into a random empty office nearby. After locking the door, you took a deep breath and Jake's smile faltered a little bit when he noticed your mood.

Despite that, he still tried to crack a joke, "Did you get in trouble?"

"No," you replied, laughing a little dryly. You crossed your arms and kept your gaze low, afraid of seeing his reaction to what you were about to say.

"So what's the problem?"

"I think..." You paused. Gulping felt like it hurt your throat, and you noticed your fingers digging into your arms. "We should take a break from each other." When he didn't reply with anything for a while, you looked up to see a very confused Jake.

"Uh..." His brows were very narrowed, with somewhat squinted eyes and a slightly opened mouth to top his expression off. "What?"

A grimace made its way onto your face. "Let me clarify, I'm not saying we should break up. I just." You moved one arm to gesture vaguely. "Need a break."

"Okay, I can understand that." Jake continued to stare at you. "I don't understand what that has to do with our relationship, though. If you want me to leave you alone for a few days, I can do that, no problem. But to put our relationship on hold...?" He frowned. "Did I do something wrong? Or are you moving away for a bit?"

"It's nothing like that." Guilt was strangling you with how easily that semi-lie slipped out of your mouth. "I just need to clear my head--"

"Listen, I believe you." Jake took a careful step closer to you. "But this isn't something you would just do out of the blue. Please, let me know if I did something wrong. We can work this out as long as you talk."

You took a step back in response. "It's not you. I've just not been feeling right lately and I don't want it to affect you."

"Will you at least give me an idea of why you're feeling that way? Maybe I can help you with it."

The longer this dragged on, the more you felt regretful. You wished Jake had just agreed but maybe him being this pushy out of concern should be plenty proof that he loved you and only you. Doubt lingered in you, still.

"Please?" He softly pleaded, "I promise I'll leave you alone after. I just want to know what's hurting you and if I can help do something about it. I can't possibly turn a blind eye and leave you to suffer alone."

"Jake." You tried to force a smile, but it came out lopsided. "It's nothing you have to be worried about."

"Come on, I know you better than that." It looked as if he wanted to step closer and embrace you, but you stepping away earlier when he came closer to you earlier made him hesitate. "What's hurting you?"

"It's okay, just forget it--"

"Wait, it's Lua, isn't it?"

Your eyes widened. Unlike how you stiffened, Jake loosened up and even began to chuckle as soon as he saw your reaction.

"It is!" Relief was very evident in his voice. He let out a breath that seemed like he had been holding it back and ran a hand through his hair, keeping it there for a moment. "You seriously scared me."

"Um." You couldn't even begin to describe the emotions running through you at the moment. Confusion for sure, but why were you also feeling weirdly relieved yourself?

"I thought I did something wrong so I was racking my brain to try to remember if I did something to hurt you, when it turns out it was nothing like that." This time Jake didn't hold back from walking towards you and enveloping you into a warm hug. "You're really cute, you know that?"

"...What?" That was about all you could react with at the moment.

"I said you're cute. And please don't be jealous of Lua."

If you were just stiff before, you were completely frozen now. With the added bonus of very warm cheeks.

"There's no one I love more than you in the world, so you never have to worry. Besides, I only see Lua as a friend. She's like my annoying, scary little sibling, and you're my lovely partner." You didn't get a chance to reply as he quickly added, "Wait, is this why you've been asking me for more lovey dovey stuff lately?"

Well. This was embarrassing. It was like he had seen right through you. In a way, it was touching. As in, of course your boyfriend would know you this well.

You stammered out a reply and Jake just seemed amused. He patiently waited though, until you eventually were able to string together, "You're... not mad?"

He hummed. "Not mad, but I am a little disappointed."

The honesty stung a little but you completely understood why he felt the way he did.

Jake pulled back from the hug to look at you, lips curved downwards. "What did you think I was going to react with if you told me you felt jealous of Lua?"

You were quick to break eye contact. "I'm sorry. I was worried you were going to think I was overreacting or something." Admitting the truth filled you with guilt and embarrassment. "And it wasn't just Lua, it was the rumors surrounding her, too. Basically everyone's been saying you like her and she likes you."

"Ugh, I told those guys to shut it..." muttered Jake, before softening his look to ask you, "Were all those rumors stressing you out?"

You nodded. "I guess it's mostly my own fault, but the weeks of stress from them made me act irrational. That's why I even came up to you and told you I wanted to take a break." You put your hands over your face. "I just... I thought that was my only solution. If I got away from everything to cool off, then I could come back and be fine. And you would have never known I got stupidly jealous--"

"Hey, your feelings are entirely valid." Jake took your hands and gently guided them off your face. "If I was in your situation, I would be feeling jealous, too. I'm not blaming you for anything." He then leaned down and gave you a quick, but meaningful kiss. "But next time, tell me what's wrong instead of trying to run away, okay? I'm your boyfriend, I'll be by your side no matter what to hear you out."

Slowly, you began to smile. His words made your heart feel full and you regretted trying to be reckless. "Okay. I'm sorry again."

"I forgive you already, so don't worry," he replied with a chuckle. "We can put this behind us, and I'll make sure to talk to the guys who started the rumors."

You nodded and asked, "You know them?"

"Yeah, you know how earlier I said I told 'those guys' to shut up? That's what I mean. I guess I'll have to be more upset with them." He laughed a little awkwardly. "I'm sorry they caused so much trouble, I'm sure they didn't mean it."

"Oh... it's alright."

The conversation trailed off, leaving the two of you to just stand around. After a moment, Jake put his hands on his hips and said, "That's that, huh? Let's get outta here." He smiled when you hummed in agreement and the both of you left the office, feeling relieved.

~

A few hours after your confession, everywhere you went, you had the men of Big Deal bowing at you and yelling out apologies. Apparently the guys Jake had lectured ended up spreading the news again and now everyone knew you had gotten jealous and were sorry for making you feel that way (Jake apologized for this as well).

Honestly you weren't sure if this was worse than before or not, but at least you didn't feel guilty anymore. And it was nice to hear apologies, but it was still embarrassing. Even Lua came up to you at some point to apologize.

The last few weeks had been messy but at least you were content again.

[mageofseven]

Random Barbatos x Mammon Angst

I don't know what else to call this.

I only recently learned about this ship and I find myself curious about it.

I like the ship dynamic of the "seemingly perfect" and the "I fuck up for a living".

Mammon is much more self conscious than he wants to admit so the idea of him dating Barb, someone who seems to do everything perfectly while Mammon screws up; there's an appeal there for me, especially at the idea of Barb comforting Mammon and healing the man's heart with his love and support.

But yeah, I'm not sure how this will turn out. I haven't read any stories about this ship yet, but wanna explore it on my own.

This may be good, this may be sloppy, but if you're curious and wanna see how it goes then welcome aboard! I'm glad you're here for the ride lol

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Oh devil was Lucifer furious when he found out what Mammon stole and pawned from the castle, an artifact older than him and Lord Diavolo combined.

In fairness, Mammon didn't know it was something important; he just took one look at the object and thought it would make a hefty amount of grimm if he pawned it.

Lucifer was in Diavolo's office, apologizing for his younger brother as always and helping the prince locate whoever bought the relic from the pawn shop.

In truth, the Avatar of Greed was less worried about those two men or what punishment awaited him when Lucifer had time for it.

It was Barbatos and devil, did the greed demon have to think of something quick to make the butler forgive him.

Mammon found the other man in the kitchen, making tea for the prince and Lucifer to drink as they worked over the issue; he refused to look at the second brother as he entered the room.

"I...look--"

"I am not in the mood to speak with you right now." The butler said coolly, back to his boyfriend.

Yes, boyfriend. Things were...well, their relationship was still fresh. Neither understood their feelings for one another or how things ended up like this, but neither wanted to fight it anymore and decided to...well, see how things go.

Mammon was a bit awkward with this relationship. He...yeah, he's dated people before, but things never worked out

And despite how new this relationship with Barb was, none of his past ones could ever compare to how he felt for the older demon. These feelings were too strong, too real...and were too much pressure.

Now he's screwed up majorly and he didn't know if there was any way to salvage things.

"Look, I'm sorry--"

Barb turned, eyes snapping to the younger man's.

"You betrayed my trust, broke into the artefact vault, and stole a relic from the Era of Seclusion for pocket change." The man's voice was calm, but somehow intense, causing Mammon to avoid his gaze.

Yeah...when it's put like that, this obviously wasn't one of his smarter plans. Granted, he doesn't usual have 'smart' plans, but this was still pretty low for him.

"Barb...I know I fucked up; I just wanna to talk this over."

The butler stared the other man down for a full minute before releasing a breath.

"Because of our new...relationship," Barb's voice lowered at that word; it was so new and both men were so confused that they agreed it would be better to hold off on telling others. "I let my guard down around you; I trusted you and you betrayed that trust by doing something that has affected both my job and my lord."

Mammon winced. He knows he screwed up royally, hurt Barbatos in the worst way possible by hitting him where it was most important: his job; it was literally this man's like and the Avatar of Greed knew this.

"I know..." The greed demon mumbled, gaze on the floor.

The butler sighed and approached his boyfriend, taking a gloved hand and lifting the younger demon's face up by his chin.

"Look at me." Barb spoke firmly. "Why did you steal from us? From me?"

Mammon reluctantly met his boyfriend's green orbs, eyes that could inspire so many strong emotions in him. Like guilt in this moment.

"I..." He broke his gaze from the other man and pulled away from him. "Because Imma fuck up; ya know this. I'm the Avatar of Greed, the scummy brother, the idiot, the embarrassment; you know this stuff already."

The older man frowned, already understanding the source of all of this.

"Are you trying to break us apart now because you think it will hurt less than if we do later?"

Mammon didn't say a word and just turned away from his boyfriend to hide his face. The younger demon already had tears in his eyes and didn't want Barb to see them.

The older demon sighed. In truth, he knew Mammon had some self-worth issues, but he didn't realize this man had such self-destructive tendencies.

"Turn to face me." Barb spoke softly, cajoling the man to meet his gaze once more.

After some hesitation, Mammon turned to face the butler.

"Now...what about all of this is scaring you?"

Mammon's gaze kept flicking up and and down, like he couldn't decide to keep with his boyfriend's gaze or to stare down at the floor.

"Birdie," Barb placed a hand on his cheek. "We need to talk about this."

The greed demon's face blushed red at the endearment.

"I just...dammit..." He cursed under his breath. "I just...I never felt this strongly about anyone, got it? I just feel like this is all gonna crash and burn..."

It's not like things ever went right in his life. Why should this relationship be any different? And this all feels so important to him, even if he doesn't understand why he feels all of it, which just tells him that when Barbatos breaks up with him--and he definitely means when--that it will hurt worse than anything he's ever experienced before; even Lucifer could never come up with a punishment that would hurt more than this.

"I understand this is overwhelming," The butler agreed. "But that does not excuse this stunt of yours."

"That's easy for you to say..." The younger man complained. "If we broke up, you'd be completely fine; you'd still have ya job and Lord Diavolo and you'd just go on like this never happened and continue doin' everything right n' get everyone's praises--meanwhile, this will be just another failure on my belt, somethin' else I wasn't good enough for..."

"And so you find it easier to follow your own self-created prophecy? To sabotage yourself so you no longer have to worry about it ending on terms other than your own?"

Mammon tried to pull away, but Barb firmly locked him in place.

"It doesn't have to be this way." Barbatos pulled his boyfriend into his arms and spoke softly. "You do not need to live in fear me or anything between us. I don't pretend to understand how we got to this point, but I intend to love you how you deserve to be loved. However...you need to allow me to do so."

The greed demon hid his face in the other man's neck and held onto him tightly; he didn't want whatever this was with the butler to end, but devil was he scared...

Barb held him close, understanding that this hug must be incredibly overdue for his boyfriend.

The members of House of Lamentation were very...dysfunctional. Though the brothers love each other dearly, they also have their own wounds they struggle to heal and in turn, they aren't always the nicest to each other, especially to Mammon.

"I won't do it again," Mammon mumbled in the embrace. "Just...don't leave me...please."

"I am right here, my little bird." His boyfriend assured. "I promise I will not go anywhere, but you must be kinder to yourself and learn to behave."

[bxsotted]

Built for Sin - Chapter 1: Limbo | Patrick Melrose x F!Reader

pairing : Patrick Melrose x F!reader

synopsis : Reader tries to drown out the insecurities that come up in one of her ventures with Patrick.

words : 3.9k

themes : so apparently I lied LOL this one also has fluff but it also deals with a little of angst, mostly anxiety from part of the reader

warnings : mentions of and drug abuse, anxiety, overthinking, implied SA (towards reader)

~Main Masterlist˜

~Series Masterlist~

prev // next [coming soon]

💖 Reblogs and feedback to support my work 💖

A/N : I was having such a hard time finishing up the first chapter but it finally is here! I'm pretty happy with how it turned out - I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed working on it <33 will try to have the second chapter as soon as possible!

The sound of running water. Faint voices from the TV. A curtain of cigarette smoke. Untouched snow white lines across the table. Glass bottles scattered around the floor and the furniture strewn about in disarray. 

A lighter, a spoon, a needle and a tourniquet.

It was bright, light covering every corner of the room. There was nowhere to hide, sins exposed in the chill air of the hotel room for all to see. It had been one of those nights. The type of night where an itch turned into a craving and a craving into a need. With no real sense of self restriction and a thirst for self indulgence Patrick let himself go, yet hung onto Y/N's hand during the whole night.

It had been a while since Patrick had gone unaccompanied in his wild ventures. Ever since he had met Y/N, it seemed inevitable for her to tag along whenever he felt the desire to lose his grip on reality. 

At first, he thought it'd be suffocating. Surprisingly, it was quite the opposite; it was comforting. Despite the fact that she refused to use any hard drugs — for the exception of cocaine and ecstasy if she was ever in the mood — only really accompanying him in a buzzed or drunk state, it was still nice to have her present. 

There was a certain warmth that enveloped him whenever he had her by his side, a kind of relief that not even heroin seemed to be able to provide.

And so here they were in the hotel room, together in their brief moment of madness. 

Y/N glanced at the lines of cocaine neatly arranged on the top of the glass table. Patrick’s voice lost in the background as he rambled on, pacing around the room, recalling a therapy session he had in his youth, something about his father — the usual, really. It's not that she didn't care, it's just that at the moment her head was louder than the voice of her drugged up lover. 

Her hand felt cold — lonely even. She curled her fingers into a fist, giving herself the false sensation of her beloved's skin against her own.

She bit her lip as she considered her options, getting lost in her own thoughts. She had a bit too much to drink, more than she had planned tonight and was beginning to feel irritated with the effects that the booze was having on her body.

She could just do a line, it'd be no big deal.

She really wanted to feel less drunk and coke always did the trick. 

Was she really that desperate to stop the spinning of the room or was this the first few signs of her own dependency?

It had been an incredibly stressful week. Having to deal with her mother’s constant rambling about things she was not at fault for. She was tired of being her parents’ scapegoat, for that seemed to be the reason of her existence. Not to mention how that awful night still haunted her. It was vivid, carved into her mind. The memory of her mother’s lover stalking her like a prey. His depravity speaking through his eyes until he finally…

She let out a sigh as she swallowed dryly, closing her eyes and mentally swatting away the horrendous memory to avoid any of the heart wrenching feelings that were to accompany it. 

'No.' She thought to herself. 'Not tonight.' 

She had just tried to talk Patrick out of using some himself but to no avail. He had stated that he was in a dire need of something called a ‘speedball’. He had mentioned something about the high being more intense — or was it longer lasting? 

She’d be lying if she said she remembered., his explanation falling onto, mostly, deaf ears as he laid their poison for the night on the table. She had already been too preoccupied with getting the liquor into her system — trying to repress the anxiety that would arise whenever Patrick went off about these things. She wanted to blur the reality of their situation, wanted to forget the night before it turned memorable and buried itself in her mind.

She’d faze in and out of his little speech, trying to avoid any sort of heartbreak that his words might summon. It was unintentional. Some might even say that it was inevitable. 

Patrick had such a way with words, it was something that Y/N admired immensely. She was always astonished with the way that he articulated his thoughts and feelings of disdain with such ease. 

Quite ironic since it was always a hassle to get Patrick to truly open up. But then again, it was Patrick. It was only expected for his existence to flourish from irony. 

This was not, however, the reason for her heartache over his words. It was not the way that he spat words of contempt over his parents, nor the way he’d criticise half of their acquaintances or how he'd express his view of the world in such a pained poetic manner. 

It was the way that he spoke about drugs. 

Each word that fell from his lips seemed to be carefully thought of. Hand picked, cherished and savoured as they all rolled off his tongue. 

Y/N wondered if he spoke of her in the same way.

Suddenly she became aware of how tight her throat had gotten, a lump forming in it. She brought the bottle that was on her free hand up to her lips, trying to swallow the sadness that had made itself present in her chest. The warmth of the liquor would certainly melt away the sorrow that threatened to plague her heart. She tilted her head back, expecting her drink to embrace her. It was only until the back of her head rested against the sofa’s cushion that she realised that it  was empty.

"Bloody hell." she cursed under her breath, letting go of the bottle and letting it carelessly fall onto the floor with a muffled thud. 

Suddenly, she heard Patrick’s breathy chuckle. She abruptly got pulled out of her own little world, realising that she hadn’t noticed when Patrick had sat down next to her or when he had taken her hand. He gave it a soft squeeze as if trying to remind her and himself that he was still in the room. 

"What is the matter, Y/N?" Patrick's eyes examined her, a soft smirk forming on his lips as he took in every feature of his lover's face. Fucking hell, she was beautiful. "Ran out so soon?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Patrick.” She groaned, crinkling up her nose as she closed her eyes, her free hand making its way through her hair.

“Now, now. No need to be rude, temptress.” 

Y/N opened her eyes softly at the pet name and turned her head towards him. She loved it when he called her that. It just screamed ‘him’. She would never get a ‘love’, ‘darling’, ‘sweetheart’ or ‘dear’ out of him if it wasn’t dripping with sarcasm. It was his own little way of mocking those who used such words. Wanting to emphasise how pumpous they sounded. 

But it didn’t matter. That’s what Y/N had told herself, denying the fact that it hurt her more than she’d like to admit. He had found the perfect term of endearment for her and she loved how adoring and dangerous it sounded — a little reminder of how she was a sin he could not resist — according to him, at least.

“You know the alcohol is just one phone call away.” He reached out to her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as his eyes wandered down to her lips. “Should I phone the lobby to bring more?”

 “No, that’ll take too long. I need something now.” She whined, her eyebrows knitted in frustration as she let out a sigh. The sorrow that had been created by none other than her own thoughts was growing by the second and she was desperate to make it disappear.

Her eyes scanned the room, hopeful that somehow she’d find a bottle of booze, one that she had accidentally left unfinished. She avoided the obvious answer that was on the table in front of her. It was her turn to stand up and start pacing around the room, checking every empty bottle she’d come across. 

‘I’m not doing a line. I’m not doing a line. I’m not doing a line. I’m not doing a line.’ What little sense of restraint made her repeat the phrase like a mantra inside her head. She had told herself that she wasn’t gonna do anything more than drink. 

She had also promised herself that she wasn’t going to get absolutely pissed out of her mind but here she was.

She didn’t even like drinking that much. She hated the way it made her feel, hated the hangovers, the smell, and the way it made her mouth dry. How her lips would chap and how it made her head want to explode.

And don’t even get her started on cocaine. God, it always felt good for the first — what? — 30 minutes? The first hour maybe? It made her feel like she was on top of the world. Like she could conquer all, as if she could do everything and anything, while being everywhere and nowhere at the same time. But the crash; oh, the crash was always catastrophic.

It lasted for at least three days after she had put the white powder into her body and she’d have to fight the urge to do more just to try to feel like a normal person again. 

But it was the only way she knew how to make the world around her less loud. How to make her emotions less loud. 

So she always came back to it. She always went back for more.

“Y/N.” Patrick called out. “What are you doing? Come back to me.”

Y/N looked back at him, and it was as if the mere sight of him was enough to remind her why she was so desperate in the first place.

Patrick extended his hand towards her.

“Come here…”

His voice was soft, it carried an affection she was all too familiar with.

She began walking towards him.

“Are you in such need for a drink, Y/N?” He began, the smirk was back on his lips.

“You mustn’t worry, love.” he chuckled.

She cringed. 

Must he really drown such an affectionate word with such a cynical sentiment?

“I’ll phone the lobby, make them bring you whatever you want.” His eyes were loving, but his smirk was wry. 

She knew her perception was being clouded by her anxiety, but she couldn’t help the stinging in her eyes as she took Patrick’s hand. He placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand — and as if to mock her — her mind made the one thought she had been trying to erase echo inside her head once more: ‘does he speak of me in the same way he speaks about drugs?’

“Fuck it.”

She kneeled down in front of the glass table and plugged one of her nostrils with her hand, her head diving in to snort up the white line. She wasn't about to spoil the night for Patrick, for herself. These little ventures were supposed to be their escape from the world, one far too cruel to remain lucid in. Y/N needed to get rid of her thoughts, and so, with no other option left, she turned to the quickest solution that she could find.

Patrick let out a small 'oh' to express his surprise. It wasn't the first time that he saw Y/N snort up a line, but it was something that he hadn't expected tonight. It made him weirdly happy to see her engaging in the same wickedness as him. It made him feel less alone. 

“Now that’s more like it.” he said, more excited than he'd like to admit. 

He looked her up and down as she made her way up from the table, eyes squeezed shut, pinching the bridge of her nose as she sniffled a couple of times. The corners of his mouth began to curl into a soft smirk as he pushed a couple of strands of hair away from her face. The urge to look into her eyes became almost unbearable. He loved to see how her pupils began to dilate — just another sign that she had decided to let go for the night and join him in his own little world of euphoria. He knew deep down inside that it wasn’t right, it wasn’t good nor healthy. But just like misery he loved her company.

He hummed with satisfaction at how the night had begun to turn and brushed his fingers against Y/N’s jaw. As soon as she turned to look at him, he smiled.  

“I knew you would join me sooner or later tonight. Now we can start having some real fun.” Patrick cupped her face with both hands and stared into her eyes. Y/N rested her hands against his, a smile spreading across her lips.

“Patrick… What are you doing?” She asked between giggles, her gaze threatening to become shy and turn away.

“Shh, shhh, Y/N…” He said in a soft voice, making sure to keep her face in place. “Don’t talk just… Look at me, temptress. Just look into my eyes.”

Y/N looked up at him and just as he had been expecting, her pupils began to grow. Patrick was the type of person who would never really admit to his addictions up front, not easily, at least. But one of the only things that he’d unashamedly confess to was the way that he had become completely hooked on Y/N. She was so beautiful, no matter what she was doing. Whether she was laughing, crying, drinking, singing, or getting high off her mind — she seemed to be completely perfect. All the time.

So he had grown incredibly fond of gazing upon her, observing her every move. Drinking in her expressions and mannerisms, memorising her voice and the sound of her laugh. Burning into his mind the image of her indulging in the same kind of way that he would. Whoever said self destruction wasn’t beautiful had never seen Y/N with a colourful pill resting upon her pretty tongue.

Patrick let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding and caressed both Y/N’s cheeks with his thumbs. “Mmm, well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” He sighed, worship in every word he uttered.

Y/N couldn’t help but smile. She bit her lip as she chortled, letting the effects of the coke take over her. She shook her head lightly, giving Patrick’s hands a light squeeze as she began to feel the sudden burst of energy flow through her body. 

The giddiness she had been trying to hold back suddenly let itself burst out of her lips in the form of a few giggles. 

“Stop that.” she said, a new high pitch tone decorating her voice as she got up to her feet and began pacing around the room once again. Her hands were now resting against her cheeks, the tingle that Patrick’s touch left on her skin making her hum with glee.

Patrick observed her, a smile mimicking the one that his lover carried as she twirled around in front of the table. He couldn’t help but laugh softly at how quickly her demeanour had changed.

“How are you feeling now?”

“Much better but…” Y/N paused. That was her first mistake.

A part of her knew that if she stopped any of her movements her thoughts would take over her mind and make sure to bring her down along with the night. So when she took a moment to answer Patrick’s question — for some reason wanting to double check with herself if she was truly fine — her anxieties came flooding back to her.

‘Does he? Speak of me in the same way? Does he love me the same way he loves it?’

She couldn’t even think of the substance’s name, as if the mere mention of it — even if it was in her mind — would blow a hole through her chest. 

“But?”

“Distract me.”

“What?”

“Distract me. Please.” 

She made her way back to Patrick, getting down on her knees so that she could be at eye level with him. She grabbed his hands and intertwined her fingers with his.

“Make me forget.  I want to forget my name, my body, my existence…”  Her anguish was apparent in her eyes, though for some reason what Patrick saw was a fire of desire in them.

And maybe he was right. Maybe that’s what Y/N wanted. 

To have her consciousness held down to the earth in the most primal way possible. To stop her silly insecurities from overtaking her mind and soul and instead replace them with the burning touch of Patrick’s hands and body. 

“All I want in my mind is you. Patrick, make me forget. I want to forget. Please make me forget. Please.”

This was the only way. 

Surely it was.

She was desperate to get rid of the delusions of her inadequacies, to shut down the little voice inside her head that dug around in her heart; cutting her open and forcing her to feel the violent sting of her jealousy.

“Patrick—” She began to whine, but before she could say anything else, he leaned in, crushing his lips against hers, giving her exactly what she was begging for.

Y/N’s arms immediately wrapped around Patrick’s shoulders, bringing him as close as she could, a soft moan escaping her lips as he slid his hands down her sides. Their mouths moved together in an erratic dance, as he pulled her up to his lap with his hands under her thighs. Her body responded naturally, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He smirked against her lips and chuckled breathlessly as she let herself be consumed by his scent. 

He began to get up to his feet, carrying Y/N along as they shared open mouthed kisses, the sound of their hunger for each other filling up the room.

This is what she wanted. This is what she needed. Now nothing else mattered, nothing else existed, there was only one truth in that room and that was how much they yearned for each other. How both of their bodies felt hot, how intoxicating they were for each other. 

Y/N’s back touched the bed and Patrick parted her legs with his knee as he settled himself on top of her. He pulled back from the heated kiss, leaving Y/N’s lips with a tingling sensation that would begin to spread all over her body. She closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of his lips against her neck. He left a trail of wet, sloppy kisses, biting into her skin and sucking on it to draw one of the most delicious sounds that he had ever heard. Leaving little love bites on her, a visual proof of the devotion he had for her.

Y/N smiled. She sighed as she treasured the moment, trying to get herself lost in it. Trying to get herself lost in the way that Patrick began to undress her. How painfully addicting his touch was. All that she could think about was the shape of his lips, how skillful they seemed to be and how they knew just exactly how to make her want more. How Patrick would let little words of adoration escape him as he made his way down her body — like a prayer, declaring his full verenation to her. How his fingers began to press down onto her skin, making their way down her hi—

“What is it like?” 

The words escaped her in one breath before she realised what she had just said. She furrowed her brows softly as she urged herself to not say anything more. Maybe he hadn’t heard her.

“Hmmm?”

“The high.”

“Of what?”

“Heroin.”

‘What the fuck.’ Y/N squeezed her eyes shut. The one thing she was trying to avoid getting into — the one thing she didn’t want to discuss and forget. And out of all the moments when she could’ve asked the question, she just had to do it when she was finally enjoying herself.

Patrick looked up at her, his movements pausing for a moment. He raised an eyebrow as curiosity began to paint his face. 

“Why?” his hands gave her hips an unconscious squeeze, he left a soft kiss on her navel as he spoke up once again. “Are you thinking of trying some?”

“No.” Y/N bit her lip nervously. She didn’t want to continue the conversation, she didn’t want to ruin the night. But her mouth moved on its own, and she propped herself up on her elbows, wanting to look at Patrick as she decided to give into her wonder. “But… I’m curious. Whenever you’re high you have such an expression of… bliss. I have been wondering what that’s like.”

Patrick looked at Y/N in silence, looking for any kind of hint as to why she would decide to ask him this. Sure, Y/N always listened, but she never really asked. In fact, Patrick was pretty sure that at times, even if she let him ramble on about his vices, she would always be half listening to what he was saying. After all, not everyone saw the beauty he saw in ruin as he did.

Patrick rested his hands on her thighs as he sat up on his ankles. He pressed his lips together as he looked for the right words, the right way to vocalise how he felt whenever he took said drug. The right way to make Y/N understand why, no matter how hard he tried, he could never truly let go of it.

Y/N observed as Patrick thought in silence, and the anxiety began to eat at her heart once more. ‘There is it. Look at him. Taking his time to make sure every word that is about to come out of his mouth is perfect.’

Before her mind could continue her own private torture, Patrick interrupted her as he spoke up, looking into her eyes.

“At first it feels like… love. Like unconditional love. It feels like a warm embrace — a security that never in a hundred years I thought I’d ever have. It doesn’t ask for anything back, it simply gives. You never owe it anything and everytime it seems to welcome you in with open arms. There’s no hangover, no headache, no shitty feeling, just the afterglow of the peace that it wrapped you up in. You feel like you’re walking on air. You feel like the world is beautiful again. Life is worth living now and for once the constant dread that haunts you every day is gone. So, in a way, it’s like you. It feels just like you.”

Y/N parted her lips slightly as Patrick looked at her, his gaze unwavering. She didn’t know what to say. All this time she had thought that in Patrick’s eyes, she was worth less than the high that he would constantly chase. 

In reality, she was just as valuable as his addiction. 

Just as important, just as indispensable.

Without thinking, she pushed herself up off the bed, sliding her hands up Patrick’s chest and without a word kissed him passionately. She could see it now. There was nothing to worry about. 

He didn’t love drugs more than he loved her. 

He loved them both. 

Equally. 

But then again, how was that any better?

~

💖 Taglist 💖:

@cumberbatch-queen @peachywoong @oliveoilthoughts @severuined @evelynrosestuff

If you’d like me to add you to the taglist hmu! &lt;3

[gyoobies]

By Your Side

Pairing: Doyoung x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst lite, fluff, Smut (very brief)

Warnings:  🛑Minors DNI, unprotected sex (Bag before you shag) 

Summary: You’re tired of investing your time into dating people that aren't looking for what you’re looking for, and your assistant is tired of you not seeing what's right in front of you.

JSYK... Kinda proofed, Kinda not, you already know what it is 😅 I’m just glad I was able to finally get something posted lol! I’ve been so busy 😓

Part of the reason you had hired Doyoung as your assistant was because he seemed so pleasant and easy-going; you felt having  someone with a cheerful, driven and mellow energy like that around would surely keep you on your toes. In the 5 months that Doyoung worked for you he never once complained, procrastinated, or refused any task you presented to him. So it seemed odd that your typical ball of sunshine assistant had suddenly become so dreary.  You had noticed the small changes in his demeanor a couple weeks back but figured the gray skies of winter was probably the cause of his melancholy but as time went on you realized it had to be something more. 

Today you had decided to come into your studio a bit early, so you stopped and grabbed coffee and breakfast for the two of you, hoping that the small gesture would perk him up if he was a bit down today. You were relieved when your plan had worked, but were taken back when Doyoung said that he was shocked you'd thought about him that morning.

"Wow! Am I really that horrible of a boss?"

"No! I just, this is normally my task as your assistant so I was just surprised you did it."

The rest of the day Doyoung was back to being his normal ray of sunshine self, well, at least until he noticed your back and forth interaction as you texted on your phone. Suddenly the playful banter between you stopped, his smile faded, and although you were curious as to what caused the sudden change, you didn't have time to pry, not when you had your own problem to deal with currently. 

Doyoung watched as your face turned sour at the current message and let out an annoyed sigh before getting up to retrieve his water bottle from his messenger bag. You quickly typed a reply, put down the phone and went back to work on your project. Only moments later did your phone chime again signaling a new message and when you opened it you audibly scoffed in annoyance. You had only been casually dating this guy for about a month and as of late he'd been showing you another side to him, another side that was a lot less flattering. You knew it wouldn't get any better so you sent a reply, and decided you needed some fresh air.

Doyoung eyed you as you angrily put your phone down and exited your studio. Although he was annoyed knowing you were giving so much of your energy to yet another asshole that he knew didn't deserve it, he felt bad for not trying to lighten the mood when it was so obvious to him that you needed it.

Your phone chimed again, and he rushed to view the message as the preview popped up on the screen.  

"Fine! I wasn't really that into you anyway, I just needed something to do."

Doyoung stared at the message, feeling the temperature of his body rise in anger with each passing moment. Who the fuck did this guy think he was talking to you like that? He was two seconds away from picking up your phone to tell the guy to go fuck himself until he caught the sound of your footsteps coming back. He quickly sat down and tried to ignore his frustration as he continued to work. He did his best to stay focused on his computer screen but it was hard, especially when he noticed you picking up your phone out of the corner of his eyes, and when he took a quick glance at you and noticed you were visibly trying to hold back tears he couldn't ignore it anymore. 

You couldn't believe what you were reading. What a fucking joke. You were so tired of this seemingly endless cycle of men who wanted nothing more than a hookup. 

"Hey, you wanna talk about it?" 

You were doing your best to hold it together but when you heard Doyoung's soft voice and looked up to see his eyes filled with concern you couldn't hold back the flood of emotions anymore. He quickly rushed to you, pulling you to your feet and into his chest, encouraging you to let it all out. Once you had calmed down you tried to reassure your assistant that you were fine and he didn't need to worry. Doyoung was not going to let you off that easy.

"Are you being serious right now? You literally just had a breakdown over some jackass that played with your feelings and only used you for sex! How do you expect me to believe that suddenly you're over it?"

You were shocked by his outburst but immediately realized you needed to clarify some things about the situation. 

"Fine! You're right Doyoung, I'm not over it, I'm not ok, but I'm not upset because I ended things with him and I’m absolutely not upset that I got used for sex because I never fucked him. I'm upset that I once again wasted time on someone who was only looking for a hookup and when they didn't get it, became cold and even had the audacity to say I wasted their time. I'm upset with myself for lowering my standards for the sake of having a plus one that's not my assistant for once. I'm upset that I thought dating apps would be a good way to meet someone but nobody is really looking for a relationship on those platforms and I don't have time to go out and try to meet anyone." You said as you began to pack up your things. 

"What are you doing?"

"Let's cut the day short. I'll still pay you for the full day but I just want to go home now."

Doyoung began to pack up his things, trying to keep pace with how quickly you were moving. "I'll take you home."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to." He said as he grabbed your bag.

You were too exasperated to keep protesting and honestly, you appreciated his kindness and the way he always looked out for you, so you just shut up and followed your adorable assistant to his car.

"I need to stop at the grocery store if you don't mind." You said as he opened the door for you, giving you a sweet smile as you took a seat in his car.

"Of course, I have to grab some things as well."

"Good, now I don't feel like too much of a bother."

The ride to the grocery store was fairly quiet besides the music on the radio and Doyoung's pleasant humming to whatever was currently playing.

Inside the grocery store you opted to go your own way, figuring it'd be faster than following each other around the store. Doyoung was disappointed to say the least, he wanted to stand beside you picking over the produce just so you could see how it felt to do something like that with him by your side. He had come to realize, if he ever wanted a shot with you he'd have to make you see him as more than just your assistant, and doing domestic couple-like things was how he was going to try to do it. As he moved about the store grabbing whatever he needed, he looked for you, only to have his heart nearly stop at the sight of you laughing and chatting it up with some random guy in the freezer section. This was the happiest you'd sounded all day, and as much as he wanted you to cheer up, he wanted to be the one to do it. Even though your back was turned to him he knew you were smiling, he could hear it in your voice. He usually loved that he could when you were smiling just from your voice alone, but knowing you were smiling at someone else was killing him.

You stood there chatting happily with your friend's boyfriend, listening to him gush about the trip they'd gone on over the last weekend. You’d hoped he wouldn't remind you of the double date you were supposed to go on tomorrow evening so you could make up some lie, not wanting to tell your friends that once again you picked up trash. Your conversation seemed to be going well and you'd even said your goodbyes. But just as you were about to breathe a sigh of relief he turned to you. 

"OH! I almost forgot, our reservation slot was over booked so we were pushed back by 30 minutes."

"That's fine. I'll see you there." You waved him off with a forced smile.

Doyoung was somewhere between disappointed and pissed. Here he was trying his best to show you he was interested but all you'd ever done was write it off as him being a great assistant. Just what was he going to have to do for you to realize that you only needed to look directly in front of you for someone that would cherish you and make sure you never wanted for anything. He had to swallow his agitation, yes you were just making date plans with another someone that wasn't him, but he couldn't stop thinking about how sad you looked earlier, in fact it was exactly how you were looking now.

"Hey! Are you ok?" He asked softly as he touched your shoulder.

You gave him a weak smile and headed to the checkout before his worried eyes could break you.

The ride to your place was dead silent, no music, no humming and you knew based on how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel, that he had something on his mind. The moment your home came into view you knew that whatever was bothering him would most likely come out now. So the moment he pulled up to your front door you quickly thanked him, hopped out to retrieve your bags, and headed for your door. That was the plan anyway, but what actually happened was the minute you hopped out of the car to get your bags, Doyoung got out too, saying he'll carry them in for you. This wouldn't be the first time he's done this but today you knew there was a motive behind it, and you really didn't want to further elaborate on how pathetic your love life was to your assistant.

"It's ok Doyoung, I can handle it."

"I'm well aware, but you don't need to handle it if I'm around."

It was something about the way he said that made you think of how lucky his girlfriend must be, until you remembered he didn't have one and it was probably your fault for always allowing him to escort you to different industry and personal events. How could you expect him to find anyone if he was always with you. As you entered your place you took notice of the way he moved about your kitchen as if it were his. As he neatly put away all your groceries, you let your mind wander, thinking about how natural it seemed for him to be there, how nice it felt to have him in your corner and how he always looked so good in anything he wore. Doyoung folded the bags from the groceries he had put away and placed them under the sink. The look in his eyes when he finally turned to you, let you know the interrogation was coming. 

"So, I hope I'm not overstepping, but the guy at the grocery store, you have a date tomorrow?"

You let out a small giggle when you realized how that conversation probably  looked to him, you had just ended things with someone and now you were planning a date with someone else.

"Yes, but not with him technically. He's my friend's partner. We're supposed to have a double date tomorrow, but now I'll have to cancel and tell them yet another sob story."

"I'll go with you!" Doyoung said excitedly. 

"No!"

"Why?"

"Seriously I just ranted to you about how I'm tired of taking my assistant to things as my stand in date and now you're offering to act as my date tomorrow? At this point you may as well be a rental boyfriend. You should be out at a bar somewhere trying to get laid, not being held hostage by your boss."

You turned your back to him as you grabbed the last bag that needed to be put away from the counter. 

"I can put away the rest, thank you for all you've done. Please don't misunderstand, I'm so grateful but I can't keep using you. You should have your own relationships too." 

"I quit."

You turned to him as the egg carton you were holding slipped from your hands and plummeted to the floor.

"What?! You're joking."

"No. I'm serious. It's the only way."

"THE ONLY WAY TO WHAT?! Make my day worse than it already is?"

Doyoung approached you, stopping once you were practically standing toe to toe.

"The only way for you to see me as something more than just your devoted assistant. I guess I only have myself to blame. I should have just been bold enough to tell you, instead I tried to show you how I felt through acts of service. Not the best way to go about it when you consider my entire job is for me to be of service to you. The point I'm trying to make is, I have been actively pursuing a relationship and trying to get laid. Maybe now that you know my heart, I'll have better luck because I don't want to be the place holder for someone that doesn't deserve you anymore.

"Did you just confess to liking me at the same time as confessing to wanting to have sex with me?" You laughed.

"No. I confessed to wanting to fuck you senseless at the same time as confessing that I love you." He said, a smirk curling at the corners of his mouth.

You were a little caught off guard with how bold he was being suddenly, but you definitely liked it. You'd found him attractive from the day you interviewed him, and you certainly were guilty of checking him out when he wasn't looking, you even caught him doing the same a couple times. That didn't stop you from writing off everything as him being a very thorough and thoughtful assistant, never thinking it was him showing interest. Now knowing how he felt, you closed your eyes and began to think about all the times he'd gone out of his way, gone above and beyond for you, and suddenly his attitude change made sense. You were constantly trying to find someone to be by your side, never realizing  there was already someone there. The only thought running through your mind right now was to let him, let him love you and fuck you senseless of course.

Doyoung waited patiently for a response, studying your face to see if he could figure out what your answer would be. Excitement began to take over as he watched a smile curl your lips.  He was patient but his waiting was over, and the minute you opened your eyes, letting a soft "yes" fall from your lips, answering his unspoken question, he swept you up into his arms.  

Everything felt right; the warmth of his body against yours, his soft delicate lips, his firm hands pulling you into him.

"I've waited too long to have you."

"Well stop waiting then."

It didn't take long for you to be naked, bent over the back of your couch with Doyoung fucking you hard and deep as you moaned out for him. You weren't expecting to cum so quickly but you definitely weren't surprised. It had been a while since you'd had dick and even longer since you'd had good dick and probably never had dick as good as Doyoung's.  

"So fast? Do I feel that good or has it been a while?"

"Both." You whimpered as you felt him pull out of you, only to be quickly pulled up and  turned to face him.  Without hesitation you pressed your lips to his and he reciprocated instantly. kissing Doyoung was addictive and you were almost embarrassed to admit how much you loved it, luckily he wasn't.

"I love that you kiss me like you need me."

"I do."

"Mhmm, about time you realized. Let’s take this to the bedroom so I can finish showing you how I need you too.

I do hope you enjoyed this short story because Doyoung, Kun, and Jungwoo been heavy on my mind.😵

[theharrowing]

Oooh, so many interesting questions! 4, 13, 14, 25, 32, 38, 43, 44, 51 please. (oops kind of a lot lol. you can do less if you want!) what does 38 mean huh?? 43, my fav is koya despite being yoongi biased :/ i like sleepy/tired characters. i feel guilty for "betraying" my bias though lol

hello, anon!!! sorry for keeping you waiting, my dear! i am not shy so let's answer all of these hehe.

4. Current Bias?

but also namjoon has been like.........sharing the throne??? so to speak????? i don't know. i just cry over men, that's all i know.

13. Any concert experience? 

yes! thanks to some generous friends, i got to go to PTD LA nights 1, 3 & 4! for 3 & 4, a gaggle of gals slept in my home (i even gave them my bed) so them scoring me a ticket definitely came with the guarantee of somewhere for them to sleep. 🥰🥰🥰 here are two of the first pics i found in my camera roll that looked cute enough to share:

14. Funny moments that always make you laugh?

i answered this questions here too, but after some thought, the first thing that really made me laugh like i was dying was the run bts episode where jungkook made the sweet potatoes that stuck to the plate. he was my bias at the time too, and i was smitten by how fucking cute and silly he was. still makes me laugh all these (2 lol) years later. when jin got hit in the nuts with the air hockey puck. when suga unplugged the tv while jin was playing. they're pure chaos without even trying and i love them very much.

25. Do you read fanfics? If yes can you recommend one? 

i read a lot of fanfics! i just finished reading Stars Lost in the Sea by smiles and WOW THE ANGST i cried so much lmao, like so, so much. really great story. yoonjin, time travel, yearning. it was so good!

32. ______ (member) dream you had?

thinking about this makes me realize that recently jungkook was in a dream, but the plot is completely lost to me, and honestly, i'm a bit sad. i dream about them often. once i had a dream a very naked namjoon was beneath me (i was straddling his waist, p sure i clothes on lmao) and he was saying "show me how you fuck yoongi oppa" and then i woke up and had A LOT OF REGRETS!!!! (and if i put a similar scene in collateral 11 that's my own business.) (also, i'm older than yoongi and wouldn't call him oppa, but...my subconsciousness went for it.) my dreams aren't always sexual, though! sometimes we're just in come chaotic dream world doing chaotic things. but they are sexy occassionally. 😈

38. Your BTS guilty pleasure?

no, i am unabashedly am army lol. although many armys are embarrassing as hell and i steer clear of the drama and don't associate with them lmao. i think a guilty pleasure is something you like despite it not being popular, or despite people thinking it's not a good thing to like? and i don't think bts can even fit into that classification bc their fanbase is fucking huge. and they seem to genuinely be good people. but ig haters will say it's photoshop idk.

43. Favorite BT21 character?

honestly, shooky. I KNOW YOONGI IS MY BIAS but i don't like them bc of that lol i like them bc they're super cute and a vibe. they're a grumpy cookie and like............gosh, big fucking mood. i love them all tho, 10/10 very cute cuties. i dont even really collect plushies and i have 7 shookys lmao. and 1 rj.

44. BTS Merch you own or some you want to own?

i own a fair share. i have most cds, some dvds, some seasons greetings/winter packages. enamel pins, the coveted whale plushie, yoongi's necklace, joon's windchime, tae's enamel pins...a lot of washi tapes lol. the me, myself & i photobooks (thanks to one very generous beta reader.) 🥺

there's nothing i really want right now, tbh. i wasn't a collector before, so it's still kinda weird to me to want material possessions; i have been trying, more recently, to only get things i can wear or actually use bc i am a very broke college student, once again lol. i finally got the recipe book, and i'm really excited to use it!

51. If BTS were not Idols what job YOU believe they will choose?

hmm, this is a tough question. i could really see namjoon and yoongi as professors of some sort, or as therapists. jungkook would probably be a veterinarian. taehyung would own a very prestigious daycare center. hoseok and jimin would still be in the dance scene, somehow. seokjin would be a retired actor.

i could also see all 7 of them being twitch streamers or youtubers. seokjin and jungkook would play games. namjoon and yoongi would be philosophical. taehyung's channel would be chaotic with no theme. hoseok would model his latest clothing hauls and jimin would be a self-taught makeup artist.

ask me some BTS questions!!!!

[imlonelyalt]

Hello! Could I request some Bruno x daughter headcanons? It can be either with Bruno after the events of the movie, before the movie and how the family treats her, or a bit of both? I’m not too picky! Thank you and happy holidays!

꒰ ➼ ❝ every step of the way ❞ ꒱

bruno x reader

warnings: nothing, some angst

a/n :: i just finished rewatching encanto, so of course you can!! i love this movie so much omg it’s my new comfort movie 😭 i’m just going to split this up to make it easier.

potential encanto spoilers !!

bruno’s disappearance

:: if you were brunos daughter and you were without him, julieta would raise you as if you were her own, because she seems to be the more ‘caring’ and less sensitive on the topic of bruno

:: alma would sympathize with you, but she fears that you will end up like bruno - (or at least the bruno she knows, not who he truly is)

:: the townspeople would be weary of you, perhaps some of the madrigals as well. they say you might pick up after your father, or worse, you are a bad omen.

:: but you were still treated like a madrigal, up until your ceremony.

:: some were hopeful, and some were anxious.

:: a good few of the townspeople didn’t come to the ceremony

:: so when you got your gift, and it has any similarity to bruno? the crowd of people that arrived would rupture with gasps, some protesting

:: alma would close her eyes and turn from you, disappointed. pepas cloud had never been deeper since that day and it was almost confirmed you were a bad person, a bad omen.

:: mirabel would care for you, because she understands. not completely, but she knows what it’s like to have the gifting ceremony not going to plan.

:: but you found out that he did care about you the whole time, it started when you saw rats running through the halls of the casita. wanting to help around the house, you chased after them.

:: and then you found him, at first he would run in shock, before he realized it was you, and he would marvel at how much you grew in his absence (this was if he didn’t look through at the family dinners lol)

:: then you found out someone did care — but he felt guilty after he discovered that you got your gift. the last thing he wanted was for you to be ridiculed because of what almost seemed like his fault

:: so you would come visit him. sharing dinner with him in the walls, and people didn’t really mention your absence that much

:: if someone found out you were going in the walls, banning you for safety reasons, or you got in trouble and were in a bad mood? he would talk to you through the walls and comfort you.

:: from the pov of a kid? he would show you telenovas and tricks with the rats, and show you ‘hermando’ and ‘jorge’.

:: he might not be the best father, but he tries his best to provide and give you the best childhood ever.

bruno’s reappearance

:: after he comes back, bit by bit you repair your relationship with the family — but your relationship with alma would be repaired very slowly. she’s trying.

:: dolores confirmed that she heard your conversations through the walls, and everyone turned to look at y’all like ‘hold on what’

:: bruno would dive in front of you, saying that if you were going to blame anyone, blame him

:: no one really cared, in fact a few thought it was sweet but most people were still in shock about bruno being in the walls in the first place.

:: everyone, even the townspeople would be more comfortable with you and bruno and your gifts :)

[gentil-minou]

I really REALLY love your writing (especially “Batter Up, Buttercup”, and I’m wondering… Do you have any tips for more descriptive writing? Any uncommonly used words or expressions? I’m trying to better myself as a writer and could really use some advice!

Omg thank you because sometimes I worry I am too wordy so it's nice to hear when people like that sort of thing, and honestly I'm so excited to answer this/ My secret is that I picture reading (both my fics and when I read) vividly with as many details as I can and I write down the bits that are important to me, and then I use a ton of references when I need it!

Sometimes I can get in the right mood by playing things out like the would be in a movie, so like for example if in the movie version I want to highlight the way the light coming in from the windows reflects in a character's eyes, I'll describe it that way. Other times, especially high romance or tension scenes I draw it out as long as possible and picture every action and try to explain them precisely. And since dialogue heavy scenes are my weakness i will write the script part first and picture the characters talking, then go back and write in the descriptive bits.

The issue becomes when you are over descriptive, and that's something I'm still trying to navigate. But the general rule I follow is: If the scene is slow and high tension, with emphasis on character emotions -> more descriptive. If the scene is meant to fast paced -> less descriptive and being strategic with it.

Things like body language are really good for conveying a characters mood, and if you like to focus deep in one person's point of view like me it helps to think about how they might be percieving another character's actions (then you can have some real fun, where the reader can easily interpret another character's emotions but the POV character's thoughts say they are totally wrong, like what I did with Adrien in Batter Up, Buttercup fdshdgsd)

I also like using the surroundings as a way to set a scene and also offer a moment of peace, but it depends on what you are trying to convey. (An example: in Soft Like Sunshine I used a lot of sun and weather imagery as metaphors for Mari's anxiety and when she start's to spiral, then moments of light when things become good again). I also like to keep one metaphor throughout the story I keep coming back to (In BUB it's puzzle pieces but as the story gets longer I'm finding alternatives, and in Aftershocks I used earthquakes). But I think this is more a stylistic thing

And this is the big one: REFERENCESSSSSS. I always heard that artists use references and are even encouraged to, so when I found out my writer friends didn't use references I was kinda shocked. I use a bunch especially for descriptive words, so here's a list!

Onelook Reverse Dictionary and Thesaurus - this one i use a lot, especially for metaphors. the soft like sunshine fic relies heavily on metaphors of sun and light and darkness and i needed this site sooooo badly otherwise i'd have just written shine a millions times lol

Body language cheat sheet - suuuuper important in conveying emotion without having to write it

More body language

Describing eyes

Facial expression

Tips for writing about pain - haven't published the chapters yet but I used a lot of this when writing the angsty/panic/nightmare scenes in Soft Like Sunshine (um spoiler alert oop)

Alternative words for said: 1 and 2

I use this site a lot for just some ideas and advice, especially the articles under Expressions and Vocabulary. Some of my faves were the alternatives for laugh, and walk, and angry, etc

Flirting - necessary for my socially awkward ace self

How to write a kiss - this helped me go from 0 confidence in kiss scenes to super confident

And finally I think the most important tip is if you want to say something but can't think of how to say it, google it! I think at first I started with like "writing angst" tips or something and there were a lot of useful articles!

[atlaese]

prompt ─ "i just realized i don’t care if they’re the most perfect person in the world. they’re not you."

requested by ─ @midnightf thank you love for requesting <3 It's so hard to put so much content in a blurb less than 1K words but I hope it's decent lol!!

tw ─ confessions, smidge of angst, but fluffy and happy ending

words ─ 628.

The Stark expo. The place where many dreams came true. The place where technology nerds could rave about the up and coming tech until their little heart couldn't take it anymore. The place everyone visited, because the Stark expo would be the outing of the decade. Most people also brought someone - their family, a friend they knew would like it, a date...

Bucky was walking in front of you, his hat a little bit wonky on his head as he was raving about the supposedly flying cars Howard Stark was going to present. Connie's hand was gripping his arm, her eyes more focused on whatever Bucky was doing than the marvelous world of tech that was surrounding her.

Why did Bucky invite you to go with him if all his attention would be on Connie and her stupidly gorgeous dress that drew many eyes? You couldn't even be mad at Connie, who didn't want to be invited by one of the most handsome men in town?

Your sour mood prevented you from even trying to smile as the two in front of you finally came to a stop to watch the presentation. Though, the boyish wonder that was present on his face did cause a small crack in your facade.

Connie had a bored look on her face and said she was going to look for her friend to catch up. Bucky just nodded, his eyes immediately going back to the presentation as the girl disappeared in the crowd.

You sizzled up next to him, your shoulder purposefully hitting his to make him aware that you were there too. That he had invited you too and that he was behaving like an ass for making you walk behind Connie.

"I can't believe we're alive to experience this," his words rang in your ears. "We're so lucky."

"Yeah," you answered, an edge to your words as you bit on the inside of your cheek.

"Something wrong?" he asked, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder as he applied a little pressure to make you face him. "Is it the crowd? Should we look for a calmer spot to watch the presentation?"

His worry and the soft tone of his words quickly made you cave, as it always did. You finally looked into his eyes as his hat became even more crooked on his head, a small smile pulling on your lips because of it.

"I just don't understand what this is supposed to be," you admitted, feeling like you and Bucky had ended up in your own little bubble.

Bucky just looked confused, his eyes now looking at the podium instead of you.

"No, silly," you gripped his chin and guided it back to you. "Why'd you invite Connie? I thought we were supposed to go together?"

"Well, I overheard her talking that she really wanted to go and didn't have anyone," he quickly replied, a bit rushed as he realized what was going on. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I didn't want to exclude her but I didn't realize I would be excluding you. The most important person in the world."

"So it's not because she's literally the most perfect person in the world? She's going to be a nurse, you know that right?"

Bucky took your hand and folded his over it.

"I just realized I don’t care if they’re the most perfect person in the world. They’re not you," he confessed, pressing a kiss against your knuckles.

"I've been so stupid," Bucky said. "I never wanted to lead you on or deceive you.

"You've always been my number one."

You just smiled in response and rested your head against his chest.

"And I don't need a nurse if I've got you as a guardian angel."

[dienamights]

Ex’s and O’s | K.Bakugou

» Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.

» Word count: 6.7K

» Genre: hurt/comfort, Smut MDNI, Prohero!au

» Summary: Its bad enough that you’re spending your ex-boyfriend’s birthday curled up in bed, wearing his merch, drinking away your sorrows, but what’s even worse is having your eardrums pierced by the blaring music upstairs at the party thrown just for him.

» Warning(s):  Smut 18+ MDNI please, hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol, dubcon since reader is under the influence while getting dicked down, drunk sex, oral sex and fingering (female receiving, we getting fed tonight), one pussy slap lol, manipulation, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy)

» Author’s notes: Hello! aaaah I’m actually pretty excited about posting this fic! First of all, its Bakuhoe’s birthday! and what better way to honor it than to feed you all some good ol angst sprinkled in with some good dickin’ down. Its been years since I’ve written smut and I’m actually really fuckin proud of it, yet real nervous but I hope you enjoy! Secondly, this fic is a part of Bakugous Birthday Bash! I’m so excited to read everyone’s work, thank you everyone for holding this event and allowing my ass participate to create this with you all ♡ be sure to read everyone’s contributions, I know it’ll be more than amazing since everyone worked so hard!

Happy Birthday to our favorite King Explosion Murder♡♡

Lastly, I wanna thank everyone for their support and helping me reach 200 followers already! You guys are the cutest thing ever and I promise I’ll update more frequent the minute I’m out of uni late june fml, thank you @tteokdoroki for giggling with me when i wrote cock for the first time lol

» Masterlist | Requests

Rolling out of bed and flailing onto the floor as a start of your day ensures you that the following 24 hours will ultimately suck ass. Getting up and readying yourself for the day by looking through one of your cardboard boxes for your favorite Dynamight hoodie, the back of your mind keeps nagging you, trying to remind you of something buried deep in your subconsciousness, and you have half a heart to try and remember, because for some odd reason, you feel so fucking weary, as if the few steps from your bed to your bathroom are somehow now endless miles, almost making you breathe out in relief after finally reaching it.

And as you are making your coffee, that odd feeling keeps annoying you again, prodding at your brain to remember something, something. And ultimately, that's when your eyes fall to the counter. You knew this day was coming and you were dreading it for months, so as you look at the calendar on your kitchen counter, you frown, the quote of the day you always love reading so much long forgotten when your eyes fall on the date. 

“You’ve gotta be kiddin' me.” You mumble at the calendar on your counter hatefully with furrowed eyebrows, as if it would either reply or change its date, it doesn’t do either, and your lips curl downwards even further. As in immediate response, you pick up your phone, your coffee pot tossed aside as you dial the number of the only person you could think might help you right now.

“G’morning y/n -” you hear Kendo’s voice through your phone, and you honestly want to sob right then and there, but you hold yourself, barely and speak over her overly cheery voice first thing in the goddamn morning. “It's Kats- Bakugou’s birthday” you whimper at the slip up, being so used to the first name basis you were in with your now ex-boyfriend.

“Yeah, was kinda hoping you would’ve forgotten.” She sighs, tugging at her bangs and pulling back her phone to check the time. “Tell you what, I get off work in an hour, then I’m spending the day with you. I’ll get tequila, I know you love your shots.” 

“Ken, it's like 10 right now..” you can’t help but pout, having alcohol in your system as an escape to help you forget about the entire day still sounding better than the urge to cry and crawl into a hole, even if it's at the start of your day. “Y'know what? Get those gummy worms I like too.” “Bet.” you hang up with a sigh, moving back to the kitchen to sift through your bubble wrapped kitchen utensils, barely forcing yourself to prepare breakfast as to not have your liquor on an empty stomach.

You loathe the fact that you remembered his birthday, always reminded of him no matter how long ago since you’ve last seen him, being the center of the media’s attention for years as the number 6 hero in japan has its perks, well, in his case, but to you? Nothing but trouble and heartache as every channel you flip through plasters his face, whether it be about some big rescue mission he partook in or a new rumor about a potential lover to the explosive hero, followed by him almost attacking a reporter, yelling to them about ‘needing to mind yer goddamn business and keep my fuckin’ name outta your mouths’. Therefore, you opted long ago to stay away from the TV to avoid seeing him, his captivating rubies for eyes, covered by that goddamn mask you like to push up to his forehead, sweeping his bangs away and exposing his sweaty forehead that he bumps against yours as he makes love to you, still in his hero costume, all battered and dusty and so incredibly hot you have to- 

You grip your coffee mug tighter, almost to the point of breaking the handle off of it, placing it rather roughly onto the table before pushing your food away, appetite gone with the thought of whatever paradise you were thinking you were in before now long gone and never coming back, all because of you, of your action, of your mistake.

Kendo walks in with a bright smile on her face, as if her overly cheerful attitude will balance out the void you’re slowly but surely falling in. She shakes the bag of snacks in your face as you blink your eyes back into focus. Dragging your heavy feet across the floor to get to your kitchen to retrieve the shot glasses. Only kissing her cheek in thanks when you snatch away whatever it is she brought with her to lift your mood.

She eyes the boxes by your kitchen, the four placed haphazardly in your living room and the one you're using as a stool while filling your shot glasses, tongue sticking out to try and fill each one to the brim without spilling any on the new coffee table that she failed to notice before is still wrapped in bubble wrap that prevent any damage during the moving process.

“y/n…” you hum in response, a frown falling on your lips as the third glass spills a bit and the liquid pools on the plastic.

“Don't you think that you should’ve probably unpacked a while ago? Hasn't it been, what, five months?” 

“I didn't know you were gonna come here to harass me about my life choices, Kendo”

She flinches away, your tone venomous, almost feeling it as a slap to her face, before leaning in when she sees your eyes start to water.

“If I did, that just means it's true… that just means it happened, and I did the stupidest thing- you know what,” you wipe the few tears that managed to escape away with the sleeve of your sweater, looking down at the shots in front of you. “It, it doesn't matter anymore just- can I just drink and try to forget about how my life has gotten nothing but fucking worse since the day I left him?”

You questioned your worth that one time, that one time all those months ago. Thinking that by doing what you did and leaving, he’d drop everything and run behind you, chase after you and win you back, but he didn't, and as you sit surrounded by the evidence of how much of a failure you find out you are without him, you regret ever questioning it, ever questioning him. Because to you, living in denial was so much better than whatever hell this is.

So all you could think of is to just drown yourself in alcohol until your mind is too numb to think of the possibilities of how you could have avoided this, how you could’ve been a less of shitty person, and stop imagining how your life would be now if you just swallowed all your insecurities and just stayed. Despite the neglect, despite not being prioritized, because in some weird twisted way, those lies held you with warmth that you were never able to find after uncovering the ugly truth you’re living in right now. 

You lay on your living room floor, the alcohol swirling in your system and clouding your vision as you trace imaginary shapes in your ceiling, the voice of Kendo muffled as she rambles on and on about her day, the amount of outlaws she bitch slapped - a term she uses to get a laugh from you - and how she considers herself the unluckiest being in the whole world for having Monoma as a partner of all people, seriously contemplating who she should beat up first between him and the villains.

“Must be nice,�� you voice, low and slow, scared of how Kendo would react to what you’re about to say, yet your intoxicated self unable to stop your mouth from uttering the words. “To have a purpose in life, to not be quirkless and lost like us.” your face twists in an ugly scowl at your ceiling, but mostly to yourself for putting a downer on whatever mood your friend is trying so hard to build, proven by the hitch of her breath before she enters your peripheral vision when she leans over you, all upside down and pouty.

“What’re you talki-” the shrill ringtone of her phone breaks you away from each other as she leaps to fetch it and silence the god forsaken thing by answering the call. “Battle Fist here, yes sir, I was partnered up with Phantom Thief for the patrol at area B, n-no sir I wasn’t informed.” Kendo breaths out in irritation, pinching the bridge of her nose as she starts tapping her feet aggressively on the floor, eyes falling onto yours when you look up at her all weary and sad, knowing what she would tell you once she hangs up. “That dumbass is gonna be the end of me I swear.” She crouches down to your level and kisses your forehead, promising to be back in the morning with hangover food, before she leaves and locks the door behind her. 

Now you’re left all alone, back aching from laying on the hardwood floor and eyes watering as you feel your loneliness eating you up inside, the god awful music thumbing loudly in your ears followed by the cheer of people as you-

Music?

You sit up abruptly, groaning at the dizziness of the swift movement as your hands fly to cover your ears, a failed attempt of ensuring your brain doesn’t begin to spill out from them, because of the loud voices, the bass shaking your entire fucking apartment by how strong it is, and you curse yourself for falling for the scheme the landlord pulled you in, paying half of the rent everyone did, just because you lived right below the penthouse that hosted the loudest parties in the area, 4 days out of the fucking week. 

The money hungry shameless bastard praised the apartment the minute it spiked your interest all those months ago, selling it so well you actually moved in the next week, anything to stop feeling like a burden to Kendo as you couch-surfed her apartment. Only to realize within that first week from your downstairs neighbors that he rents the penthouse to host parties of all sorts, and due to its location in the city, it was pretty popular, yet you didn’t have the money to move out again, nor the heart to concern your friend with your problems, as she was a hero with other responsibilities aside from taking care of your hopeless self.

So you get up, barely gathering yourself onto that elevator to tell off whoever the fuck will answer the door first to turn the music down. You pound the door with your fist repeatedly the minute you reach it, the door opening so suddenly you almost punch the man standing in front of you in the chest, the cool air created from the door cooling your warm cheeks as you squint at your victim for the day.

“Welcome!”

“Listen here, you buttfaced moron” you start to chew the person’s ear out, your sight blurring yet still able to notice how bright his hair is, how fiery and familiar it looks, and you’re certain you’ve seen it somewhere before. “I’m trying to drink away my regrettable life choices and cry over my ex-boyfriend, so if you would just turn down the-”

“y/n?” oh, that’s where. Your stomach drops as Kirishima looks down on you, the bright smile he flashed to whoever he was welcoming now dropped with his eyes almost bulging out at your presence, you both stand in silence, the boy unbuttoning the collar that suddenly feels like it has a chokehold on him while you cross your arms and hope the floor would swallow you a floor down back into the comfort of your home.

Kirishima basically is shutting down the second his eyes lay on you, breaking a sweat as your eyes never waver, despite how you fail to stay standing straight, what was he supposed to say? ‘Hey we’re throwing a birthday party for your ex-boyfriend because he's been feeling depressed from the day you dumped his ass’ ? No!  He wouldn’t do that to his friend, but what was he gonna say now?

Well, he didn’t have to really think about what to say to you, because his other friend didn’t hesitate to push him forward, slurring something along the lines of ‘lettin the hot ladies in so they can take a look at the prettier blond, aka moi’. In his moment of panic, the redhead stumbles forward, his cup slipping from the tips of his fingers and meeting its doom by the floor, whatever was filling it now staining your pants as you both look at the mess between you.

“Woah bro, we said you gotta get’er wet but not- '' Denki's cackle stops him from continuing whatever filth he was gonna spew out - thankfully - before his eyes drop down to your chest, or more like what was covering it. “Hey! You a Dynamight fan? Hey Bakuhoe, comere for a sec.” 

Dear God, move, for the love of all that's pure in this god forsaken world, move! Run!

All you could do is shake and breathe in short segments as your widened eyes meet his unamused ones, the garnets in his eyes glistening at your sight, he stands straight and so tall, suited up in his usual attire. Dressed for the occasion, words aren't able to describe his beauty. You try not to let your brain be dazzled by how incredibly handsome he looks. He is wearing a dress shirt, in the deep color of wine that complements his eyes, dress pants hugging his long legs, not to mention the open collar, and no tie. He looks like a long, lean Lothario. 

At that your eyes drop down to the floor, specifically the now stained carpet, your hands wrenching the end of your hoodie to distract yourself from the piercing rubies that haunts your dreams.

You build up some courage, enough of it to lift your head to continue what you came here to do, so you open your mouth, and drop a few IQs while you’re at it. “The m-music is loud and m’tryin’ to sleep,'' you mumble, noting how Kirishima leans down to make up the words you are saying over the sound of the blaring music while Bakugou narrows his eyes at you as if disregarding his sight will make him hear you better. “So, if you could turn down the heat, that’d be,” 

“You squiffed?” The blond grunts, leaning his face close to yours to inspect it, and he catches a whiff of alcohol in your breath, his eyebrows furrowing at your response. “No I'm not squinting-” 

“Yeah you’re drunk alright,” he huffs at your less than intelligent reply, pushing his glass of whiskey - you figure since it's always been his drink of choice - against Kirishima’s chest, telling him to lower the fucking volume and grabs you by your bicep. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.” you stumble at the force used against you, no matter how weak it actually is, before you barely straighten yourself to push his hand away. “I can walk down all by myself, thank you.” Of course you’d expose where you live, you dumbass.

He doesn’t question your integrity, just continues to basically drag you to the elevator before pushing your apartment door open when you choose your floor, irked to find your misplaced trust in the people of the complex by not locking your door after leaving. He barges into your bedroom and tells you to change out of your fucked up pants and proceeds to saunter to your kitchen to get you water, eyeing the boxes that he comes across during that small trip.

He stands awkwardly by the door when he sees you standing in the middle of the bedroom, sifting through countless moving boxes with your pants on the floor, thrown next to a pile of clothes that he can only assume that its supposed to be your laundry ‘basket’, until you opt against wearing any since you can't seem to find anything to replace them. And when he asks you if you just moved in, his expression sours when you shake your head no and explain to him that you’ve been living for months in this space, after chugging that cup of water like you’ve been parched for days.

“Birthday party?” You ask out of the blue as you play with the strings of your hoodie, your ears perking up at the confirmation hum you receive. “Hmm, thas’cool… I-I guess.” 

Bakugou’s impassive as he gently pushes you onto your bed, eyes meeting yours as he covers you up with your blanket. “Get some rest, I’m leaving.” He said, slowly stalking away from you and barely reaching your door as your big mouth talks on its own. Your body sitting up and facing his retreating back.

“That's what you always do, you always leave”, you utter and you see him stiffen his shoulders before he spins to face you, so fast you almost want to check up on him about getting a whiplash.

“Hah?” it's one syllable, but it shakes your very core, that one sound making you almost shake, overwhelmed by the amount of emotions, the amount of pain that one sound has. He steps closer to your bed, the stomps of his feet sounding like gun shots in your ear, and you pathetically lift up the blanket to cover yourself up, cowering behind it like it's some pseudo shield that might protect you from him.

“I’m the one that leaves?” he growls at you, his eyes sizing you up when you react to his forceful approach, leaning back to look down on you, but his lips are still curled in a frown, he tries to hold himself from blowing up at you, his feelings oddly enough still raw in his chest the moment he lay eyes on you the first time since you left, threw him away and walked away, probably finding someone better, probably finding someone who you tolerated, unlike himself, but when he sees you straighten up your back to rebuttal him, an automatic response to whenever he raised his voice at you from all those years ago, he knows he is in for a fight. 

He snarls when you nod at him, your eyes hard and glaring up at him, not knowing that your silence is by your better judgement since you don't trust your voice, knowing it’ll fail you, probably crack and show him how much he actually is affecting you by his closed off posture and demeaning look down at your frame.

“Real fuckin’ rich of ya, y/n.” He snaps back, his hands brought up to his hair, tugging at it. “As if you didn’t pack your shit,” he kicks at yet another cardboard box fucking spewed in your room, noting its heavy weight when it didn't move but an inch by his action. “Dropped your keys by the fuckin’ door,” as an emphasis, he throws your apartment key at you, making sure it doesn’t actually hit you, but falls onto your lap. “And left. Without a single fuckin’ word, like I'm some lowlife who didn't deserve an explanation, like I didn't deserve anything! And-” that hurt, goddamn it. 

Exhaling deeply, he focuses on how your eyes look a little less glossed over, a little more sober, but holding fear, and he almost steps back and out when he looks at how you’re fighting tears, almost wanting to bust his own kneecaps than to see you like this, always wanting nothing for you but to be happy, to never upset about anything no matter how small it might be.

Then why did you leave him? Left him to drown by his lonesome self, waves of his insecurities and sorrow crashing into him, pulling him even further down to his inevitable doom.

Despite the fact that you both yearn for each other, long to feel one another, engulf yourselves in the others presence. You both stand your ground, eyes glaring despite the emotions hidden behind them, mouths shut and curled into ugly scowls regardless of the words you wish to speak to each other, whispers of promises into each other's ears about being together forever, in spite of not knowing what the future holds.

Bakugou breathes out again, recalling all those months worth of coping mechanisms to exercise when placed in anger inducing situations like this one, the time in therapy spent to better himself, to control himself, to be the best version of himself, for you, hoping that one day you’ll pity him enough to want to come back, knowing full well he would never hold a grudge against you and welcome you back with open arms, intending to never repeat whatever it is he did that made you think of him as so unbearable you couldn't spent another day with him.

You on the other hand, are barely holding in the tears, wanting him to just leave your sight, so you can go back to the world of denial where he didn't look like straight out of a magazine, looking as captivating as always, as if your absence did not have an effect on the hero, of course it wouldn't, why would a quirkless extra have an effect on the great Katsuki Bakugou, that's what he used to call them, right?

“Just leave, Bakugou-” his ears pick up the way your voice breaks at his name, the way you utter it sounds so horrendous, because you aren’t meant to call him Bakugou, you’re meant to call him Katsuki, Katsu, Suki, your Suki. Not- “I hate you.”

The room suddenly spirals. The floor panels misalign themselves into zigzags. Bakugo’s eyes shatter like a glass window. He tries to hold himself against the tears that threaten to fall, stomach wrenching as if reaching from inside of his body, but it’s useless. He brings his hand up close to his chest and sinks his head, letting the words overtake him.

Oblivious to his internal struggle, you pile whatever courage you have left in another attempt to ask him to leave, aware that your body wouldn’t aid you in pushing him away physically, you open your mouth, only to gasp after a moment of silence when he pounces on you and grabs you by the neck, sliding a hand behind your head and leaning your face impossibly closer to his “you fuckin’ hate me? show me you hate me then,”

Then he's pressing his lips against yours, your half foggy mind all too surprised by the flow of motion you can only try to keep up with his feverish kisses, you try to pull away, to push him away, to no avail, Bakugou only stopping his assault on your lips to growl at them again “Show me then, hah?” 

But he wouldn't even let you, his grasp on your neck loosening to circle around your back to push you to him even more. His kisses get more and more aggressive, trying his best to show you how much he was hurt by what you said, by what you did, after all this time, almost begging you to not let him have to voice out whatever he’s feeling because he would do so much of a worse job than he is doing now.

The hands you placed on his chest in a failed attempt to push him away are now just placed over his pecs, welcoming their warmth and the way they flex under your touch, your right hand clenching over where his thumping heart is, and he almost sighs in relief, the movement feeling like it holds together all the broken pieces of his heart to make it whole again.

Almost like that gesture calmed him down, Bakugou’s rough touches start to soften, very caring as they glide to your hips before sliding underneath your - oh my God it's your special edition Dynamight hoodie! His amused chuckle tickles your lips as he pulls away when he feels you stiffen at the realization, barely letting you breathe in ease until he places his lips against your ear. “Love how m’still the only one sprawled over yer tits.”

“But I still want the real thing, lemme see ‘em, hm?” And just before throwing a dumb retort and embarrasing yourself even further, the article is tugged eagerly off of your body and thrown haphazardly on the floor. Earning yourself a low whistle when he realises you’re wearing nothing underneath. Bakugou all but shoves you onto the bed, spreading your legs when you try to rub them against each other for any friction, wedging his body neatly between them as his teeth gently bite your soft buds, pulling them slightly before captivating the nipple entirely.

His tongue flicks against your hardening nipple while keeping a watchful eye at the sinful expressions your face makes, his one hand toying with and twisting the other nipple while the other slides down to tease your needy cunt, pressing his fingers against your -fucking soaked- panties, swearing under his breath at the feeling of your walls trying to clench around his fingers just from that one movement. Sitting on his haunches, he lifts your hips with ease to pull your panties right off, eyes travelling between your heaving chest and your exposed pussy. Before lowering himself and finding comfort in biting and sucking your nipples again.

Bakugou’s smirk grows with your moans as his tongue dances over your sensitive nipples, he presses his finger against your walls, and you immediately keen at the prodding feeling that almost feels foreign after all this time apart. His thumb pushing your pussy lip to the side to see you suck his finger in like the good girl he knew you always were.

“Ba-ba-ba,” you struggle to talk, your drool collecting at your lips, stopping you from forming any words as you feel a breeze hit your spit covered tits, whining at the feeling and wanting him to pull your nipples in the warm cavern of his mouth again. Bakugou’s eyes focus on the spit line connecting his bottom lip to your nipple before disconnecting it to smash his lips against yours in an effort to shut your blabbering up.

“Ba-ba, what? y’better not be callin’ me Bakugou with my fingers deep in yer pussy baby, its Katsuki for you, yeah?” he taunts with a fake pout that immediately turns into a grin at the way you hold your pathetic sobs, pressing another finger in your tight cunt, reveling in the wet sounds your pussy makes as he thrusts his fingers in and out of it, soaking his fingers in your slick as he curls them, eager to hear the squelching sounds it would make when his cock is shoved deep inside you. “Or better yet, lemme hear you say Suki, hmm?”

“Suki- p-please, eat me out” you throw your head back and bring your hands down to play with your clit, showing him where you want his lips to be, as if the blond doesn't already know where it is, and he scoffs at the thought, slapping your hand away and giving another slap to your clit, earning a moan from you from the sharp pleasurable pain.

“Yea, yea I fuckin’ know already, needy slut,” he growls, keeping eye contact as he circles your clit with his tongue before sloppily eating out your cunt, making a mess of both drool and your arousal, mumbling “my needy slut.” to himself, and you do hear it, yet you brush it off with the thought that your lust must be messing with your brain.

Your chest still flutters at his words and your walls clench in on his fingers as he curls them again in a way you didn’t know would make you yelp like it did. He thrives off of how your body responses so easily to him, your back arching and the squelching getting louder as his fingers pick up speed, his tongue so skillful in drawing circles around your clit before sucking it again. A whine escapes you when he draws his head away from you, only for you to see the way his eyes darkens, his chin glistening from your arousal when it catches the light.

“Let go for me princess,” he whispers uncharacteristically, making you question if the glint in his eyes is from his desire for you or something else. “Lemme see you fall apart for me, alright?” the way he’s almost begging you to come undone for him takes you by surprise, and your body curls in on itself so fast, not realizing your orgasm was creeping up on you until it hits you. The knot in your stomach breaks as you gush around his fingers, white crossing your vision as he slows his pace to help you come down from your high. 

Your shuddering body lays on your bed, eyes unwavering as they meet Katsuki’s, his fingers stuffed in his mouth as he moans around them at your taste. It's all a blur after seeing that unravel, and you’re so woozy that you don’t register him discarding his clothes until he lays above you. Placing himself between your legs as he pumps his cock, hardened from seeing you fall apart on his tongue and fingers, his tip leaking precum and burning a bright red.

His movement is almost too quick for you as he dips his head into your leaking hole before pulling right back, a breathless chuckle escaping him when you whine and roll your hips and try to suck him in again, wanting to feel the stretch of him inside of you.

“Didja wanna say somethin’ princess?” he taunts you, one of his hands holding you down by your stomach while the other is wrapped around his length, teasing you in the ways that he knows drive you crazy, he leans in, using the tip of his cock to spread your pussy lips open and running it along your slit to coat it with your arousal.

“Katshu, p-please I-” you hiccup, your fists tightening on your bed sheet as you try to rock your hips up get more than just his leaking tip, but your begging is always interrupted when he isn't hearing what he wants you to say.

“Say you love me.”

You freeze at his demand, your widening eyes looking up at him before you pout your lips, not thinking about surrendering to him, no matter how much you want your cunt stuffed full of him right now.

“I don’love yooou-” you gasp as katsuki’s grip onto your waist tightens and you feel as he gives a thrust into your sopping cunt, arching your back at the burning stretch of being filled up by his thick cock. Katsuki’s hand traces down your left thigh before cupping behind your knee, hiking your leg up and out, close to your chest to expose more of yourself to him, wanting nothing more than to see his dick seething in and out of your tight pretty pussy, and by almost muscle memory, you did the same thing with your right leg, replacing his hands with your own, presenting yourself to him.

“Y’see that? Fuckin’ know you like the back of m’hand, y’think someones gonna- ah, take the fucking time to work you like I did?” he's right, absolutely right, he ruined you for any other potential lovers and he loved it with every fiber in his being, knowing this means you’re always going to be wrapped around his finger. You moan as he pushes more of himself into you, bottoming out and holding one of your tits and squeezing when he feels your walls do the same to his cock.

You hate it, after all this time, you’re still a blubbering mess the second he was one fucking inch deep in your pussy, sucking him in and clawing at his back begging for more. No self respect, no dignity, you hate it, how come after all this time he gets to come here and fuck you like you belong to him, like you’ve belonged to him despite everything that has happened.

You only realize that your eyes are closed when Katsuki’s breath hits your face, and you open them wide, noting how wet your lashes have gotten from your tears, only for him to kiss at the tears gliding along your right temple and licking the ones on your left. He breathes out a chuckle and when he leans to look at your eyes, the humor and menace you expect to see in his eyes are nowhere to be found, clouded by a solemn look instead.

“What? Yer cryin on me now, huh? Y’think a few tears are stoppin’ me?” His voice is masked so well, because he sounds like he was simply enjoying a game, like an imp that had branched from a demon. “C’mon, not gonna tell the birthday boy you love’em?”

“I don't love you, I hate you, h-hate you-” you keen as drool pools at your lips, your body betraying you as it shakes from pleasure, letting go of your legs to wrap them around his slim waist, to bring him in closer, if that was even possible, stopping his deep thrusts that were brushing up against your cervix, it feels pathetic, denying him the pleasure of telling him you love him while clinging onto him like he's your last breath of fresh air, because in a way, you feel like he is, like him leaving would just collapse your lungs and stop your heart from beating, you know that he’s gonna leave you. While your spent body would lay on your bed and you'd cry because you didn't tell him you love him, yet you wouldn’t ask him to stay, knowing deep down that you don't deserve it, you don't deserve him.

You feel his weight on top of you as he rests his elbows by your head, his lips brushing against your ear as he repeats again with every shallow thrust into your warm insides, his cock twitching from time to time in your walls. “You love me.” he says it once, twice, thrice. Every time his voice lowers more and more to a broken whisper, almost a plea instead of the cocky taunt he started off with.

Your legs are starting to ache from the grip they have around him, so you loosen up, your mind easy since his thrusts haven’t been rough nor painful. And when you do, you notice two things immediately, first, your thighs are so soaked from how he's making you feel, probably ruining your bedsheet at this point, second, he pushed his chest away from yours to look you directly in the eyes, one hand molding around your thigh to keep it from wrapping around him again while the other is placed on your stomach, his thumb inching closer and closer to your clit, wanting to toy with it, toy with you, but not ready to give you any satisfaction until you admit to him, please just tell him, that you do still love him. All insecurities, all battle scars, all emotional constipation as layers he covers himself with, that no one gives a fuck to peel off, to see who he really was, except you.

His red eyes lock onto yours as your chest heaves with breathless sobs at the lost of his warmth, and when you think he's lowering himself back down, he pulls out suddenly, sending a  shiver down your spine as you gasp, now feeling like you're frozen over, your tears coming from lack of both pleasure and warmth.

Suddenly your face is met with the pillow and you feel his hands on your hips as he lifts them up and off the bed, your half intoxicated, half aroused mind barely registering that you’ve been flipped over on your stomach until you feel his cock prodding at your cunt, easily sliding in like they’ve been made to be warmed up in there, when you know Katsuki would argue that your pussy was made just for him and to warm his dick.

He presses his chest against your back, pushing you onto the bed as he thrusts his hips roughly, pulling out fully before seething himself right back in, your moans and whimpers muffled by your pillow from being pushed down by his hand as his other holds your hips firmly. 

Then what happened next probably shocked him more than you, despite how delirious you’ve become due to his relentless thrusting, his dripping tears feel cool on your bare warm shoulder, one by one as his groans and moans turn into strangled sobs, before Katsuki digs his teeth into that shoulder, to both hear you scream and to muffle his cries from you. 

“because I love you” he sobs, detaching his teeth from their grip and kissing the bite marks before resting his forehead against it, but his thrusts never cease, getting sloppier, as if the confession is pushing him off the edge. Dragging the tip of his nose from your bitten and bleeding shoulder to the back of your ear, his own face flush and warm against you as he breathes harshly against your ear and kisses along it.

“So-” he moans again, the hand behind your neck now turning your face so he could see your fucked out expression, the tears streaming down your face and the drool that pools under your cheeks, with your tongue lolled out and your eyes barely focusing on his form.

“You better say you do too, becau-”

“I love you.” you gush, like saying it is a breath of fresh air, your eyes never leaving his teary ones, your gaze so intense and fixated on him with no regards to the way the snapping of his hips against yours is shaking your entire body against the bed. 

With new found vigor from your confession, Katsuki grabs onto the meat of your ass, hammering into you from behind with force that pushes you against the bed even further, your pulled hair jerking your head back so he can listen to the lewd noises you are making, long forgotten the will to cover your pleasure and hiding your moans.

Your ass heavily slaps against his thighs as he grabs your hips with both hands and pounds into your sopping wet cunt, relishing in the way you’re begging for him. “Y’like it when I fuck you baby, hmm? Like it when I stuff you so fuckin’ full of me?” He growls, feeling you push your ass back every time you repeat ‘yes’ to his questions. “Yes, yes love it, love you, please please don’t stop, please ‘Suki. Yes, gonna cum ‘Suki please” you weep, your head pounding from the grip he had on your hair and your eyes crossing as you feel his thrusts stutter, getting sloppier when you bounce your ass against him, his hand coming down and slapping it.

“That's fuckin’ right, cum on this cock, c’mon baby” he brings four of his fingers to rub your clit with urgency, and you can’t help but arch your back as your orgasm hits you again, screeching as you feel your walls tightening on him, squeezing him for what he’s worth. “F-fuck ah, y-you’re so- Fuck” his heavy weight falls on you as he fills you to the brim with his milky seed, forehead pressed against your shoulder as he rocks his hips against you, pushing more of his load inside before slowly pulling out, gaze flutters down to where your bodies were once joined, seeing your mixed arousal seeping out of your hole and he has half a mind to push it back in with his fingers.

But he flips you over effortlessly, the sight of your crossed out eyes and wet cheeks squeezing his chest at the realization he might’ve been too rough on you, so he wipes your cheek with the palm of his hands and revels in the way you lean towards him, turning your face to kiss his palm. “Say it again.” barely a whisper, as you flip his hand and kiss the back of it as well, and he almost repeats himself, thinking you didn’t hear him, but your hands reach up and cup his face, bringing him towards you. “I love you Katsuki” and goddamn if that wasn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever spoken. “Again,” “I love you, Katsuki” “Again,” you giggle, and he knows that's probably what angels sound like.

Your thumb brushes over his warm cheeks, red from showing vulnerability, and you pull him even closer, “Happy birthday, ‘Suki.”

“Yea,” He breaths out, his lips barely brushing against your bitten and bruised ones. “It really fuckin’ is.”

aaaaaaaaah! Hope you enjoyed it! Lemme know what you think of the smut, I also changed my writing style from past tenses to present tenses or tried to at least

Borrowers (taglist):

if you want to be tagged with for any of my fics let me know ♡

[effielumiere]

The Companion 4

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Drama, Comedy (hopefully lol)

Summary: A year after all their world tour was cancelled with the announcement of the pandemic, Jimin goes through a rollerI coaster of emotions and he can barely his emotions and he's trying so hard to stay happy. Namjoon and Jin suggested to get a puppy when they got drunk but Joon thought a human companion sounded funny to his drunken brain, not knowing that Jimin took his word seriously. When he finally finds the one who's going to be his human emotion companion, he wonders if she's up for it? And most importantly, he wonders how things would play out with him being Park Jimin and her being... well, a fan... an ARMY to be precise.

Warning(s): Jealousyyyyyyyy. A bit of angst (is it really a bit though, Effie? *scoffs*). An OC?!?! *dramatic gasp*. Mentions of Jimin wanting to punch an OC (not Y/n, but her buddy teehee). Shirtless Bangt- *ehem* It's PG13. Someone got hit by cupid. Sentences in italics are Korean words translated to English. UNEDITED!

Word count: 5k --- Inspirreddd~~~ lol

A/N: Happy Birthday Sunshine Hobiiii😄 Saranghaaeeee💜

Taehyung-ahhhhh, speedy recovery pwease🥺

I was listening to Queen of the night by Hey Violet as I wrote this one. It kinda set a mood. Also, the Hybrid!BTS polls that I've been doing in the past chapters. Y'all are responsive but I kinda panicked with the last one lol. I'm gonna have a post related to this the polls and their results. keep an eye out for that. Also I was planning on writing and posting some fanfics I had an idea about lately, I even prepared my main masterlist and a permanent taglist. Enjoy this chapter!

< threepointfive | masterlist | fourpointfive >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The boys sat on their respective chairs at the studio where they were going to film their new music video for Butter with the other stylists, crew and their managers. Everyone was setting up their equipment and making sure that everything was ready before they started filming. I, on the other hand, was running around like a headless chicken asking the managers if anyone on set needed help to which I kept getting the same response to sit down or keep Jimin company. And that was what I was avoiding really. I needed to keep myself busy with something thing that didn't directly involve Jimin, reason being he looks so handsome with his new undercut, blonde hair and rainbow highlights. The time we went to the grocery and he had highlights was just a little trial period where he tried to see how he would look like if he dyed his platinum blonde, undercut-less hair with different colors eventually deciding that he wanted that to be his next look for Butter.

"Y/n-ssi?" I turn to the stylist that was calling my name, praying I wasn't being summoned by Jimin, "Yes?"

"Namjoon-ssi asked for you" that seemed worse, because Jimin didn't ask for me personally but they were sitting right next to each other. Walking up to the dressing room, I found something that I never thought I'd witnessed with my bare eyes.

"Oh dear God!" I exclaimed turning around covering my eyes and clearing my throat to somewhat mask my supposed yelp of surprise.

"Get used to it," Namjoon yells from inside the dressing room

"We need your help! One of the stylists weren't able to make it today, Jimin and Hobi need help, could you help Hobi need to be stopped from drinking more coffee, he's somehow being more hyper and Jimin needs help with his earrings, the stylist that's on her way has been looking for the earrings everywhere. Looks like we'll need someone to calm down Mochi."

"I'm fine!" Jimin yells, sounding muffled from somewhere in the room obviously sounding stressed.

"Y/n-ssi, help please." I hear Hobi call out, followed by Joon "Better get used to seeing us shirtless or for some of us, just our... underwear. When tour starts you'll be hearing Hobi brag about his really hot body," he mocks making Hobi giggle and Jungkook laugh.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and wonder how I ended up in this predicament. Walking the room, most of the guys were getting in their clothes except for Jimin who's head was inside a luggage as he was searching for his earrings, Hobi, who were shirtless, Joon who was pulling up his pants - shirtless, Taehyung was tucking in his shirt in his pants, and the other members. who were sitting on their chairs with stylists doing their hair and makeup.

"He's not fine," Taehyung grins at me, cocking his head in Jimin's direction. Jimin was still rummaging through the luggage carefully but in a hurried manner, helping the other stylists who kept assuring him that they'll find it and that he didn't have to help which he kept ignoring. Walking over to him I place a hand gently on his shoulder as he moves around.

"Jimin-ah," I called out as I stop Hobi from taking another long sip from his iced Americano by gently prying it off his hand and quickly replacing it with a water bottle, "You're gonna be all sweaty before you could even start filming,"

"I'm just trying to help," he says "they're very organized it's impossible for them to misplace it."

"Who's not done yet?" their choreographer calls out, "we can start rehersals soon when you're all ready,"

"Jimin-ie is looking for his earrings, Give us a few minutes" Joon calls out to him before turning to Jimin and I "We'll wait for you outside, Jimin-ah"

Jimin finally looks up from the bag to nod at Joon before they left the room, "Can't you just wear those?" I ask pointing at the ones that were in its case on the dresser and he shakes his head "No, they said that's for later when I'm wearing the gray suit," I nod before asking him if he knew where the other stylist was and the others around us who were fixing his hair and make up were talking about how the others were checking other rooms making sure they didn't misplace it, other were double checking the cars.

"Can't you just wear another design?" he nodded before he looked longingly at the table "I can, but I can't help it. I was the one who brought it in and placed it on the table today. It's not their fault really, I just feel a bit out of it because I didn't sleep much last night."

"What time did you sleep?" I asked eyebrows furrowed as I lightly pull on his arm to make him stand up and led him to the chair, while his hair stylist hurriedly did her job.

"Three, maybe four AM?" he says sheepishly as he gives me a small smile. That meant he only had less than four hours of sleep.

"Jimin-ah, you knew you're filming today" I stared at him "I texted you last night to remind you but you just opened it and you didn't reply. Why didn't you sleep early?"

"I was ... preoccupied." he stuttered "I... I was busy"

"So that's why you skipped on us last night" Jin says grinning from the doorway "someone special over, huh?"

"Just... someone" Jimin's lips curl inward as if to stop himself from smiling.

"Oh," I stare at him for a second before looking away, avoiding the tugging feeling on my heartstrings "Oh, well, guess you were busy then," I muttered to myself staring at the floor wondering how I should get out of this conversation without looking like a wounded puppy.

"Well, I, uh..." I started to stutter before I was cut off

"We found it!" someone yelled from outside the room, one of the stylists came running in the room with a tiny box which I'm guessing contained the earrings Jimin was looking for. Placing the box on the dresser in front of him, he grabs it opening the box to reveal earrings. Smiling as he removes it from the box, Jimin carefully places it on his earlobes and I mutter "I'll be outside" which was drowned by the loud noise of the hair dryer.

Walking out of the dressing room, I bump into someone who was facing me standing next to a group.

"Oh" he gasps as we collide, lightly grabbing my arms to steady the both of us "Are you okay, Y/n?" I look up to see Taehyung looking at my face trying to gauge my reaction, Jungkook and Namjoon were next to him they suddenly turn around when my name was mentioned.

"I'm okay," I force a smile "I just need some fresh air, I'll be right outside"

"Y/n" I hear Namjoon call after me but he was called by their manager stopping him from following me. I continued walking towards the car where I spotted Jimin's driver and two of his security men.

"Oh!" the driver exclaims as he sees me headed to the car "Y/n-ssi, is there somewhere you need to go?"

"No, it's okay," I smile at him "I just need my backpack, I left it under the seat." He immediately opens the car and lets me retrieve my bag before closing it. When I headed the direction away from where the boys were recording he called me, "Y/n-ssi, where are you going?"

"I just need to get some air," I said turning back to him before walking away again

"We were assigned to follow you if you separate ways with Jimin-ssi," one of the guards say getting up from his chair.

"Please tell your boss, I can walk around alone without having you guys being bothered, besides all I'm going to do is head to the Museum and if one of you follow me, y'all aren't gonna like how I'm gonna react" I smile at them before bowing and quickly walking away from them.

I kept walking until I reached a bus stop, not knowing how to fully read the language except for very few words and locations, I pull out my phone to use google image translate and eventually I find out which bus to get on that was going to take me to the National Museum.

The museum was quiet expect for a few tourists that were quietly taking pictures, discussing art and others meeting up there just to walk around the place and talk. I was staring at an artifact when my phone started vibrating, pulling it out of my pocket I see Jimin's smiling face on my phone screen it was a picture that I took of him when we ate street food after he first introduced me to the other members and the staff. He was looking down at his food, happily picking a tteokbokki from his little plate to eat, wearing his beanie, dark green and brown jacket, puffy cheeks resting on his face mask. Contemplating on whether or not I should answer his call I sit on the bench next to the artifact.

Leaving the set was a bad idea and a reckless one too, but it was an emotionally impulsive one too. As I sat and waited for Jimin's angelic face to disappear from my phone's screen, I regretted leaving the set but at the same time I was embarrassed to walk back there as if I just went out to grab coffee and came back for nothing. I get up from my seat and slowly make my way towards the exit, deciding to take a walk instead of taking a bus back home relying on my virtual map. And if I ever run out of battery, Jimin's real paper map is sitting on a zipped pocket in my backpack.

Zooming out on the map I noticed a museum not too far from where I was, the Leeum Samsung Museum so walked towards it. Entering the building I kept walking until I reached a spiral stairway with walls that looked like tall windows. My phone vibrates as I kept walking around and every time I looked at my phone it was Jimin calling me.

I noticed the amount of people increasing as I spent more time in the Museum walking slowly. My phone vibrates once signaling me that it wasn't a call and my caller decided to give up, but the short buzzing doesn't stop. As I step out of the museum and finally decided to head back to the apartment, I take the bus that would pass a nearby street and watch building pass my line of sight. When I realized the short buzzing stopped for more than ten minutes, I pull my phone out of my coat to find 15 missed calls and 32 text messages that's when I noticed it has been hours since day one of filming Butter has ended, and they're all probably home by now.

Opening the missed calls most were from Jimin and there were a few from Namjoon. The texts were from them as well with a few from Hobi and Tae.

Taehyung:

Y/n-ssi?

Are you okay?

Where did you go?

Hobi:

Y/n, Jimin is looking for you. He doesn't look too happy.

Please come back. He looks really worried. He keeps walking back and forth in the room it's making me dizzy.

Jimin:

Y/n-ah, Taehyung said you left and went to the car.

Come back to the studio, it's really hot outside.

Y/n, our driver and security said you left, and that you told them to tell me that I shouldn't look for you. Where did you go?

Y/n, where are you?

Y/n, why aren't you answering your phone?

Please pick up, I'm worried about you.

Y/n. Please.

Y/n our driver told you went to a Museum, which one did you go to? Are you still there?

I went to the front desk and they checked security cameras. They said you left hours ago.

Y/n-ssi, where are you? Please come back home.

Namjoon:

Y/n, Jimin's looking for you. Please pick up the phone.

Where are you? We just finished filming, Jimin wouldn't stop asking me if I know where you are.

Y/n please don't tell Jimin, but Jin hyung and Yoongi hyung asked the company to put an emergency tracker on your phone (and other stuff) in case something wrong happens and we couldn't find you. Yoongi told me to tell you they're gonna turn the tracker on to find you if you're not found or home by midnight.

Btw Jimin doesn't know about the tracker thing, he thinks it's the Find my phone feature but it's not that.

Damn it, Y/n pick up. We checked the national museum earlier but they said you left early.

Jimin and Taehyung are driving around to find you. We didn't alert Hybe yet that we couldn't find you. Yoongi Hobi and JK are looking for you too. I'm outdoors as well with Jin hyung. Pick up the phone when we call you, please.

By the time I looked up from the messages, the bus was about to drop off passengers at parks by Han River. I automatically got up and let my feet take me to a bench by the river where I looked out at the view, hearing hushed conversations, laughter and a few squeals and happy giggles from children playing.

"This was a bad idea," I sighed "I should have said no," holding my head in my hands, I take a deep breath and close my eyes letting the fresh spring air wrap around me as some sort of comfort but all it did was make me want to cry. I should have said no and stayed at home. I should have declined the job offered. I wasn't fit to do my job as Park Jimin's emotional companion when at the same time I get easily affected by the thought of Jimin away both physically and emotionally. And it didn't help that I was the kind of person who'd get easily emotionally attached to someone like Jimin, making me a jealous girl. I wasn't fit to do this job.

My phone vibrating pulled me out of my thoughts making me want to haul it to the river. Namjoon was calling me, deciding it probably wouldn't hurt. I answer the call.

"Hey..."

"Oh dear God, finally!" Namjoon says with a sigh of relief, and I hear Jin in the background asking "Wh-what? Did she pick up?!"

"Yeah, she did," he tells Jin before his voice gets clearer "Please tell me you're safe and unharmed,"

"I'm fine, I just walked around," I sigh "I didn't think you guys needed me, especially Jimin. He was obviously doing better when I wasn't there."

"Y/n, he's not doing really great right now," he says "Taehyung is the one driving Jimin around because wouldn't stop worrying and freaking out,"

"Tell him to stop the search party," I tell him "I'm okay, I'm gonna go home in a bit anyways."

"If you think you could stop Jimin from looking for you, you're wrong" Namjoon explains "Jimin kept looking for you in between takes today, he kept telling us that he wanted to hang out with you after filming today and tomorrow because he said he think you're homesick,"

"I'm not homesick, Joon" he chuckles "You're a bad liar even over the phone,

Look," he says "just tell us where you are, so we'll pick you up and you could go back to the apartment,"

"I dunno, Joon," I sigh "I wanna go home by myself and take a day off tomorrow,"

"I don't think Jimin's gonna let you off tomorrow - he really wants you to be on set tomorrow,"

I stare at my surroundings noticing that the sun had already set and they sky was a mix of dark purple, fading pink and blue. I bit my lip wanting to cry and go home, but not back to the apartment... but home. Back home.

"Namjoon?"

"Yeah, y/n?"

"Do you think I did the right thing saying yes to this job?" I ask, tears pooling in my eyes

"Why would you think that?" he asks "You're doing everything right, just don't run off like that making him worry. He really cares about you and I don't think it's cool for you to just disappear and not answer calls, man." he huffs.

"I feel like I'm not fully capable of being an emotional companion for Jimin," I sniffle "I feel like I'm not fully qualified especially being just another fan who's not medically trained for this"

"Y/n," he starts "I'm gonna tell you something and you better listen good,"

I hear Jin speaking to Namjoon in the background and all I got was a soft warning of 'hajima' followed by a short silence before Namjoon continued, "you're not just another... fan to Jimin. You're much more than that. You're basically family, please remember that. You're important, very, very important to us especially to Jimin. So never think that you're just. Because you're not. If you were, why the hell would we not tell Hybe that we're running around like headless chickens the night before our last day of filming our next music video. You're not just Jimin's responsibility but ours too. Now tell me where you are or I'm telling Jimin that you decided to leave him and flew back to your home country without even saying goodbye - and that you never want to see him again." he threatens me in one breath being the rapper that he is.

I took a deep breath wondering if he was really going to do it, but knowing him he's gonna do everything to protect the other members. It was fully dark as I look around again, the moon was climbing higher in the night sky and the number of people were slowly increasing.

"Han River," I tell him "I'll send you my location,"

"Alright," Joonie says "Hang tight, we're headed your way once you send it. If you don't send it within the next five minutes, you know what's up."

"Okay..." I whisper as he hangs up. I send my location to him and he sends me a thumbs up emoji.

While I was waiting for Jin and Namjoon, I stayed on the bench looking around me as buildings opened up the lights to the front door of their establishments, pulling my mask down to my chin to be able to breathe the fresh air. Different colored lights made it look like a street of rainbows while street lamps looked like stars. And speaking of stars, I look up to see a few stars starting to peek out from the night sky. Right then, I started to wonder if there was a perfect spot for star gazing and my thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling my name.

"Y/n?" I look at the direction of the person talking not recognizing the man who was in his all black outfit- trench coat, ball cap and face mask were all black. Even the frame of his eyeglasses were black. I tilt my head as if to question the man when he pulls down his mask the same way I did and my eyes widen when I recognized him.

"Benji!" I exclaim as I walk up to him and wrap him in a big hug and he does the same.

"It's so good to see you, Y/n!" he laughs as he pulls away smiling and puts both hands on my shoulder "What brings you to Seoul? How long are you staying here? Where are you staying? Who are you staying with?"

"One at a time buddy," I giggle "I work here, so, yeah. I'm gonna be here for a while and I live alone."

"Woah," his eyes widen in awe "Where do you work? Do you think we could catch up with the good old days?"

"Yeah, we definitely could," I beamed "Oh work! I actually work at-"

"Y/n-ssi!" I hear voices call my name, one sounding very disappointed while the other three were loud enough as if to warn a child to keep their hand out of the cookie jar. I turn to see Jin, Namjoon and Taehyung headed towards me Jimin slowly walking behind them, the three men seemed to slow down when Jimin picked up speed to stand next to me, gently holding my hand and pulling me towards his body making Benji drop his hands from my shoulder immediately.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," he whispers tilting his head to the side, a trait of his that only makes an appearance when he's pissed or annoyed, or even disappointed, "I was really worried," He stops what he's saying and turns to look at Benji, as he says Hello and bows his head. Benji bows too and the other boys did the same.

Jimin looks between the two of us pointedly before asking "We're we interrupting something?" there was something about the way that he asked it that made it sound as if he was annoyed or irritated, but I brushed it off thinking he's probably just tired because of work and looking for me right after.

"Oh, no," Benji chuckles "I was just asking Y/n where she works now and if we could hang out like how we did a few years back?"

"You two know each other?" Taehyung asks to which Benji replies "Yes, we do. I was a transfer student when I first met her."

"Uh huh," Taehyung nods, slowly measuring up Benji "I see..." Namjoon and Jin slowly start doing the same thing, which was weird because Jimin started it.

"Well," Namjoon starts "So sorry to cut this short, but Y/n needs to report to her supervisor" Joon says, nodding at the other boys as if sending a signal.

"Supervisor?" Benji asks "But isn't it past working hours?"

"She's a personal assistant," Jimin says, sounding as if he was rolling his eyes "she reports even past work hours, and her work shift ends late."

"Oh, okay" Benji nods, playing along "I see"

"Yeah, so we have to leave because we've been looking everywhere for you" Jin says from behind Tae "The bosses said they're gonna come and get you if you don't get back in the office soon,"

As if right on queue behind Namjoon, Hobi appears calling out to me wearing everything... and I mean everything. Head to toe. Louis. Vuitton. Even from a distance, his look screamed 'expensive', even the air around him screamed 'expensive'. And he wasn't the only one. Yoongi and JK had the same aura.

"Ya~, Y/n!" Yoongi yells "I swear to God, Y/n-ssi! Why weren't you answering my phone calls?" he sounded bossy which has never happened, something was fishy. I pointedly look at all of them, except for Jimin who was burning holes on my face and his body heat was radiating off of me like an angry fire dragon about to blow fire at an intruder, said intruder being Benji.

"I can't believe, my Louis Vuitton slippers are walking in a public park just because my assistant is testing my patience," Hobi shakes his head dramatically "You're lucky I have a hangover, Y/n-ssi or I would've already fired you and had you deported"

"You should proably... go..." Benji trails off he says to me "We'll catch up next time," he reassures me.

"But how?" I ask.

"I work at a company not too far from here," he says "we could meet up some other time surely,"

"Alright," I sigh "I'll see you around,"

"Sorry for interrupting you two," "Yeah, sorry," Jin and Namjoon say to him and he says it's okay. I smile a little as he starts walking away after he says his goodbye and bows his head at the boys.

Once he was far away from us, I look at Hobi and Yoongi who were turning red. When they look at each other I heard a windshield wiper laugh followed by Hobi disappearing from my line of sigh as he falls to the concrete holding on JK's arm having the time of his life laughing happily.

"Guys, that felt rude," Jungkook says grinning "Especially you two hyung" he tells Hobi and Yoongi.

"It was but Jimin looked like he was about to punch the guy," Yoongi said chuckling "We came up with it as fast as we can but we were worried about Jin and Namjoon laughing, good thing they didn't. Taehyung too."

"He should thank Yoongi and Hobi hyung," Tae says "We just saved him from Park Jimin."

"I wasn't going to hurt him," Jimin says, back to sounding like an angel again

"Just a little, hyung?" Jungkook asks smiling making the other members chuckle.

"Maybe," Jimin whispers "depends," he looks down at our hands which I didn't notice were intertwined. He plays with my fingers a little before he unexpectedly pulls me in for a hug, wrapping his warm arms around me. Face buried in my hair. The laughter slowly stops as they all turn away and start heading to their cars.

"Be home before midnight, hyung!" Jungkook yells as they get in their cars, Taehyung hands Jimin's car keys to me and walks towards Jin's car, "Or our boss will lock the door," he yells followed by Hobi cackling.

Jimin pulls away and holds my face in his hands, slightly squishing my cheeks, "You're too cute for your own good," he says adorably, almost as if he was saying it to himself "I should keep you protected all times~"

"Don't act so innocent, Park Jimin!" I lightly hit his arm, he stares at me a bit longer

"I should say the same to you," he says seriously, his voice a bit deeper "You ran off and made me worry about you,

Did you run off to see him?" he asks

"What?! No!" I say a little too loud, taken aback "I just saw him minutes before you arrived-"

"Then why did you leave me?" he asks "Why did you leave without telling me where you were going? If all you wanted to do was go to a museum, we could have done that together after work just like how we'd hang out to eat street food. But not like that, Y/n-ah." He says trying so hard not to raise his voice "I was worried sick about you. You didn't answer my calls,"

"I didn't answer the other members too,"

"You answered Namjoon hyung," he points out "he forwarded your location to me because Tae and I were nearby. I was so relieved to know you were safe but I didn't know how or what to feel when I saw you,"

"What in the world do you mean?" I ask eyebrows furrowed "I was just talking to a friend,"

He sighs in defeat shaking his head, averting his eyes, "He better stay a friend, Y/n-ssi...He as to," he whispers to himself in satoori but I heard it and understood it because Jungkook was teaching me Busan satoori.

"What? What do you mean?" I ask again and he shakes his head

"Forget I said anything,. Don't worry about it," he says softly as he slowly lets go of me "Let's get you home." Once his hands weren't on me anymore it felt like I was a ship that lost it's anchor and I was slowly drifting away but I wanted my anchor back. He started to slowly walk towards the car stopping to look back at me, waiting. Slowly moving my feet, I walk to Jimin's car and let him drive me back to the apartment.

Once Jimin pulls up to the valet, I was about to get out when I look at him and decide I needed a time out from him after tonight's behaviour.

"Since you're usually... occupied or busy," I point out "I might not be there tomorrow morning, I'll text you if I change my mind and head there after lunch,"

"Y/n-ah, come on," he says almost like he was begging me to stop acting the way I was, "Please be there,"

"I can't think straight, Jimin-ah," I sigh exasperated "I'm living in a playground," I whisper to myself "Good night, Jimin-ah. Drive safe." I say to him as I get out from the car and into the building, thankful that I was lucky enough to catch the elevator before it closed.

When I got inside the apartment, I quickly open twitter and type my frustration out.

Y'all wanna know why our life is like a playground when it comes to unsure relationships? They all have one thing in common. Swings, seesaws, slides, damn it the whole play ground! We keep coming back for more. The first time we encounter the damn place we're excited and scared, but we keep going back there everytime! We play, we fall, we get hurt, and we get back up again only to have it repeat.

And somehow. Sometimes. The person who cause us pain are the ones playing with us. Even when we fully put our trust in them. We let them push us on the swing, we let them get on the opposite end of the seesaw, we go down the slide together, we play catch and get hurt by the same person. And yet... we keep coming back for more. Even though it already hurts and you want to stop playing around.

You end up trusting and loving that person, but in the end they leave you. Not letting you know if they'll see you again.

I throw my phone on the kitchen counter as I walked on my way to the couch muttering to myself, "I hate myself for falling for you. Why did it have to be me in this position? Why you? Of all people on earth, why did it have to be you? I'm not complaining, just questioning how absurd this is. Damn you, Park Jimin. Damn you and your warm hands and you pretty eyes and your pillowy kissable lips and your sweet voice and your kindness. Damn you. I love you, but damn you."

My phone vibrates from the counter making me groan out loud before sulking and standing up. Seeing that it was a text notification from Jimin, I wanted to pretend I was asleep and not open it but I was too curious.

Jimin:

My life is a playground too, but you have my word that you'll see me tomorrow and days after that. I'll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

< threepointfive | masterlist | fourpointfive >

A/N: Please leave a like, reblog and reply to this post about what you think of this Chapter💜🥺 Taglist is open if you wanna be added just reply to the story's masterlist post.

TAGLIST: [blogs who are in bold lettering please check your visibility settings or ask the staff how to fix that teehee. sorry I still can't tag you :( ]

@biggiecheesewantsyoursoul @kookieebangtan @lovergirl1316 @yoongistangerine @why-the-heck-am-i-here @ncizen @craftymoonchaos @canarystwin @itsnotquimey @chubsjmin @buttvi @bllatrixcarpnter @enthralled-bandit @ireadthensuetheauthors @builtalongthewayside @messofthecentury

... psst... I have a permanent taglist... If you're interested.....

[heyhihellowhatsup0]

Hooked On Your Feelings - Chapter Two (FWB! Tom Holland x Reader)

SERIES MASTERLIST

Warnings: Some angst, language, eventual smut in future chapters, fluff

Word Count: 5255

Summary: After a bad breakup, making an agreement with your womanizing neighbor, Tom to be friends with added benefits and no strings attached seemed like the perfect idea. Until things become messy, emotions caused your agreement to crumble.

A/N:  I am HYPE to post this new chapter! Omg I just love writing this series so much its so fun writing Tom like this lol. Also low key...this chapter has an easter egg to a pervious series of mine and I’m v curious if anyone catches it but probably not because its superrr tiny but either way I hope you guys like this one! Obviously, smut is in this chapter! DM me to be tagged and I cannot wait to hear everyone’s thoughts! (Also .gif is not mine. DM me for credit please, I found on google!) Thank you xx -N

“What happened to that girl you took home the other night from The Lace Rabbit?” Harrison asked as he ordered his lunch before he took a seat at the table with Tom. It was typical for them to meet up during the week on their lunch breaks and catch up when they were not busy being wingmen for the other while bar hopping on the weekends. 

Tom shrugged off Harrison’s question as he took a bite of his sandwich, “She got a little clingy so I had Y/N help me get rid of her,” he smiled as he said your name out loud. His friends knew of you as the hot girl who lived next door who bailed him out of sticky situations. Always teasing Tom how he could never actually get you. The irony made it all too funny for him, “How’d it go with that blonde girl?” he asked to change the subject off of him.

He didn’t know if he should bring up the two of you sleeping together with Harrison. Harrison was his best friend and wouldn’t judge but he knew he’d give Tom shit for it. He’d want to know details of your arrangement or how it came about, if you were really that good and Tom didn’t feel comfortable answering that. Not if it was about you. He didn’t want his other friends knowing about you in the way he did. That was personal between you both and he wanted to show you he respected you.

“It didn’t,” Harrison admitted while taking a sip of his water. He let out a chuckle as he felt himself blushing, “Forgot her name and she spilt her drink on me. Can’t say I didn’t deserve that one,” he at least knew when he was in the wrong.

Tom cringed into his sandwich as he let out a cackle, “You definitely deserved it, mate,” he laughed with another bite. His phone vibrated in his pocket but he chose to ignore it, knowing like clock work what it probably was. It was going to ruin the rest of his day and he at least wanted to enjoy lunch with his friend before getting pissed off for the day.

“She’d probably love you,” Harrison teased. 

“Fuck off,” Tom rolled his eyes with a laugh. “I’m not taking your angry seconds.”

“Don’t knock angry sex til you try it,” Harrison smirked knowingly. 

Tom shook his head as he once again ignored the phone ringing, “I think I’m good, thanks,” he brushed it off with another eyeroll. 

He didn’t know why he suddenly felt weird talking about their last venture out at the club. Maybe it was because Tom knew where he ended up after that girl had left and he knew what that meant for the both of you. But Tom wasn’t done with his bachelor days, and even you knew that. Hell, you practically insisted since this was a no strings attached deal.

It just felt strange not telling Harrison about you. Like it was a weird secret. But at the same time, he felt oddly protective of you. Not wanting his friends to see you as some girl he was getting laid with. Or worse, a potential love interest. He knew it wasn’t going to happen. Hell would be freezing over before Tom decided on any sort of long term obligation. But he knew his friends and he knew they wouldn’t see this is a simple agreement between two friends. And he didn’t want to deal with that conversation.

Staying quiet was the better option. For his own sanity. And...well, would you care if he told anyone about this? Tom figured that was another rule he’d have to ask about. He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries and he knew you had a list of rules as well that he was happy to follow. As long as that meant one thing and one thing only: non-exclusive.

Harrison noticed Tom’s phone buzzing for the third time. And Tom ignored it for the third time. He checked the message with a huff of his breath before turning the screen face down on the table, going back to his lunch before he had to get back to work.

“Clingy girl?” Harrison nodded towards Tom’s phone. 

Tom shook his head, “My mother was supposed to visit this weekend but you know the routine,” he mumbled into his food, not even wanting to respond to her.

“Let me guess,” Harrison began, knowing exactly where this was going since he knew Tom’s whole story inside and out. Including the bits he hated to discuss which was mainly his family, “Going skiing with Clint in Veil instead?” he questioned knowingly.

Tom scoffed out a laugh at his guess, “Surfing with Clint in Malibu but same shit,” he corrected as he tried not to let it get to him. But even Harrison could tell he was getting bothered by it once again and who could honestly blame him.

 Always the same story every time no matter what and Tom grew tired of her antics. He couldn’t even blame Clint for it anymore considering she’d been this way since he was a kid before he was even in the picture. Only now she would just use him as the perfect excuse to get out of coming to visit.

He knew he shouldn’t care anymore but he couldn’t help it. It wasn’t something easy for him to simply let go of. It was his mother. And no matter how many times he’d try she would always give him back the bare minimum and it always made him upset. She was his one final connection to him and she could care less about any of it, so why did Tom? It always got under his skin and he loathed that it did.

But he would still invite her. No matter how miserable it made him.

“Well at least now you’re free this weekend,” Harrison broke his thought while he gathered their garbage before they headed back to work, “The usual at The Lace Rabbit this Saturday then?” he suggested with a knowing smile to try and get Tom out of his mood.

Grabbing his phone, Tom clutched it tightly as he inhaled sharply. Knowing his change of plans meant doing his normal routine even though he was looking forward to the slight change this weekend, which now just seemed bleak to him

.

“Yeah,” Tom agreed as he tapped your name on his phone but hesitated when he saw his mother trying to call for a fourth time, “The usual this weekend.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your chest tensed as you got into your car after your extremely long day in the office. Everything around you felt heavy and you couldn’t wait to get home as soon as you could but you found yourself still frozen in your car. Unable to move as the moments from earlier this afternoon invaded your thoughts once again while you tried your best to move in. Even though you knew you were completely grief stricken and didn’t know what the hell to do.

The promotion was yours, at least you had thought it was by the way your boss would constantly hint at it. You knew it was never a definite thing, but you were confident in the hard work you had put into your job and knew you were a top contender for the spot. You worked longer hours, took on extra tasks, you even worked on the occasional weekend to get your work done. Taking every precaution necessary to prove that you were the best fit for the role.

Everything felt like it was lining up for you. Co-workers were giving you a pat on the back for your work accomplishments, your boss was taking note of everything you were doing, and you overall felt really good about where you stood for the potential position. So imagine your surprise when you attended the big luncheon and your boss announced his undeserving son was getting the spot instead of you.

It was both nepotism and misogyny rolled into one and it made your stomach turn the longer you had thought about it. None of it made any sense and it was far from fair. You knew you were the one more deserving of the position, the whole office knew it. Even your damn boss knew but he chose his damn son over you and it felt like a stab right to your gut.

You felt so betrayed and beside yourself as you finally decided to head home. Tears streamed down your cheeks while you tried to focus on the road but you just couldn’t ignore the facts. How were you going to be able to show up and take orders now from your boss’ son? You knew the job more than he did and it felt like a huge screw you.

On your drive home, you tried to make yourself feel better by putting on some music to distract yourself but nothing helped. You felt beyond defeated and frustrated right now you didn’t know what was going to make you feel better at the moment. It felt like the world was against you. Between finding Justin with another woman and your job, you were really batting one thousand lately and you weren’t sure when you would catch a break.

Things were not going how you planned at all. The thought of just quitting your job and starting all over again crossed your mind but the fear of the unknown kept haunting you. You didn’t know which direction to go in or who to turn to for advice anymore. You were slowly drowning and you needed someone to throw you a goddamn life jacket already.

You were relieved to finally be home. Maybe some peace and quiet would make you feel a little better, you thought to yourself while you kicked your shoes off and turned some music on for yourself. Trying to put the day behind you and focus on the present moment while you got changed into more comfortable clothes to unwind.

You jumped out of your skin when you heard a knock at your door, not expecting anybody to come by right now. Pulling your hair up into a bun, you headed back towards the door and looked through the peephole. To your surprise, you weren’t really surprised at all. You were actually sort of relieved when you opened the door and saw Tom standing there holding a pizza box.

“That better have extra cheese,” you asked with a narrowed expression while you invited him inside with the pizza that he would always bring you even in normal times. 

Placing the box on the kitchen table, Tom opened it with a grin as he showed you the pizza pie with cheese practically oozing from the crusts, “Figured it was an extra toppings sort of day,” he admitted, knowing he really needed the escape from reality. Even if it was just a pizza.

“Tell me about it,” you sighed as you grabbed a piece closest to you as Tom handed you a paper plate. You headed over towards your refrigerator to grab you both a few beers while Tom leaned up against your kitchen counter as he devoured his slice, “I’m guessing you had a bad day judging by your pizza presentation?” knowing there wasn’t really any particular reason he’d be coming over with it today. Unless if he wanted something?

You slowed your pace back from the fridge wondering if he was going to pick up on how you were feeling. You weren’t entirely sure if you wanted him to notice. Whenever you and Tom had a pizza night it was merely to gossip about your lunatic neighbors or watch a game together. You talked about casual things but never really gone into depth or prying into each other’s lives. Why did it feel like suddenly you wanted something different? Would sex change that much in your friendship?

“We can just ignore that...we don’t have to talk about unimportant stuff,” you waved it off. Tom didn’t need to hear about your miserable day. And you didn’t want to pry into his. 

He swallowed the last bite of his slice, “If something makes you upset, it’s not unimportant,” he noted. But when he noticed you just looking at him, he raised his hands in surrender. “Ignore my philosophical ass. But I’d like to hear about your day, you know,” he laughed it off. 

What the hell was he doing? He thought to himself. Don’t let personal shit ruin this. Enjoy her company. That’s it. 

“I didn’t get the promotion,” you told him. You had mentioned to Tom a while ago that your boss was hinting at it but you never went into detail with him about it. You weren’t used to Tom actually wanting to be open or the other way around. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t slightly surprised Tom even gave a crap about stuff like this. 

Tom frowned at your answer and he felt his heart sink a bit when you told him the truth about your bad day. He didn’t know much about your job but he was sure you were a hard worker. He saw how much you loved your job and how passionate you were about it when it would come up. You would share upcoming projects with him from time to time and he would see the look on your face whenever you explained them to him. So hearing that you were passed by for a promotion was upsetting to him.

“I...shit, Y/N,” he put his pizza down as he walked over towards to give you a hug. Sliding his hands around your waist he pulled you into him as he felt you relax against his chest, “You didn’t deserve that,” he added softly.

You allowed Tom to embrace you, his warmness comforting you a bit before you pulled away and started crying when telling him about your boss’ son getting the job instead of you. Making you laugh by calling him every name in the book, you and Tom finally found a common ground as you kept venting to him.

Tom pulled away slowly, his hand resting at your chin while he licked his lips, “You’re boss sounds like a fucking prick, I hope you know that,” he told you reassuringly. The small smile you formed when he spoke made him want to keep making you feel better, “I’m glad you’re smiling,” he blushed at his confession.

Stretching your mouth wider, you flashed Tom a playful yet overly wide grin to deflect the attention he gave to you. The two of you laughed as Tom pulled away with a loud chuckle, shaking his head at your sudden silliness, “That has to be the most hideous smile. But we’ll work on it,” he told you through his laughter.

You rolled your eyes before going back to your pizza, giving Tom a look as you nudged him, “Not gonna tell me about what happened to you?” you finally asked.

Tom tensed as he tried to brush it off with a simple shrug into his pizza. The thought of his mother’s texts and ridiculous apologies and excuses continued to drive him crazy as he mumbled into his bite, “It’s stupid shit,” he told you as he swallowed the crust he was chewing, “Mom stuff, not important,” he added bluntly.

You could see the look on his face and could tell it was important to him but you didn’t want to force him to talk about it. Tom was never one to bring up his family ever to you and that was the first time you had ever heard him even mention his mother. He never spoke of his father, at least to you, so you just assumed both were out of his life for whatever reason and it was none of your business to ask.

 And Tom refused to admit it but he wanted you to ask about him. Spending hours upon hours at bars, turning his focus always onto the girl; because he knew no girl would ever want to go home with a self righteous, egotistical guy. It was never something Tom minded to do, especially with complete strangers who he would never open up to in a million years. It might have been the recent development he had with you but there was something refreshing he felt around you and as much as it freaked him out, he didn’t seem to mind.

But diving into his mommy issues with you now seemed too much to deal with right now. You were dealing with more than enough problems with your job and your miserable ex-boyfriend, he figured you didn’t need to hear his bitching right now anyway. He came here to get away from those shitty thoughts, not open those wounds further. 

Tom came here for a distraction.

Licking his lips, Tom perked up as he looked at you fervidly, “Wanna have sex?” he asked matter of factly. He figured he didn’t need to beat around the bush since you had your arrangement but maybe he was a bit too direct with his request. Tom cleared his throat as he tried to save the night, “I-I mean, I just figured since we both had shitty days that maybe we could uhm-”

“Thought you’d never ask,” you cut him off with a smirk and you perked up as well, nodding as you smoothed out your hair. Standing back up as you turned your back towards him, removing your shirt in the process, “Let’s go,” you called over your shoulder as you headed towards your room.

“Oh, we’re jumping right in,” Tom mumbled to himself as he practically fell off his chair to follow you into your room, tossing his shirt beside yours as he practically froze already seeing you completely undressed, “Christ…” he breathed out while taking you in. 

You rolled your eyes as you walked over to him, bringing your lips to his now bare shoulder, “You’re really acting like you haven’t seen me like this the other day?” You laughed against his skin while you began to suck a bruise against him, hearing him let out a gasp while your hand snaked into his pants sneakily, “Beginning to really like this whole friends with benefits thing we have,” you laughed as you found Tom’s lips.

Practically growling into your kiss, Tom lifted you up and lowered you onto your back on your bed. His lips traveled from yours, to your stomach, dipping his tongue into your belly button as you moaned quietly before he brought himself down between your thighs. His lips peppering your inner thigh before he got straight to the point because this whole arrangement meant no foreplay. Another plus for Tom.

“Darling, I think you may be the best friend I’ve ever had,” Tom breathed out a laugh as he pressed his tongue flatly against your clit. Sliding two of his fingers into your core while he slowly pumped in and out of you, “This is what got me through my day today,” he told you before he brought his mouth back to your core.

You arched your back while your fingers went towards Tom’s curls. His name began to fall from your lips while he lapped his tongue carefully, letting it slip inside of you as he continued to tease you with his mouth. His fingers sliding into you again, adding a third as he moaned against your center; allowing the vibrations to roll throughout your entire body.

“Mmm, oh, fuck...!” you cried out, yanking gently against Tom’s hair as you felt the coil beginning to burn from inside of you. Biting your lip to stifle another moan, “Fuck...yo-you’re really good at that,” you breathed out with a small laugh which turned into a whimper.

With his head peering up at you, Tom flashed you a cocky smile with a playful wink as he licked your folds teasingly, “Did you seriously doubt my abilities to make you cum with my mouth, Y/N?” he raised his eyebrow while pumping his fingers now tantalizingly slow, “You’re gonna pay for that comment,” he said to you.

“Just...shut up and make me cum, Tom,” you told him through another gasp as you felt his teeth drag teasingly against your already throbbing bud. His lips wrapped around it as he sucked more harshly, doing exactly as you had asked him to do, “Ungh...oh god, okay. Yeah, keep doing that,” you instructed as you began to grind your hips against his mouth.

Tom took it as a challenge and picked up his pace, beginning to flick your clit faster while he continuously sucked on it. His three fingers now entirely coated in your warmth as he felt you clenching around them. His pants feeling tighter from his hard on while he knelt at the end of your bed trying to bring you to where he wanted.

His free hand splayed against your stomach, holding you in place while he felt you trying to squirm around from the way he was making you feel. Rubbing your clit in between his breaths, Tom looked up at you as he licked a solid stripe down your center, “Let out how you’re feeling from today and cum for me, Y/N,” Tom commanded. 

Your eyes shut as you did exactly what Tom had suggested. Completely coming undone from beneath him while you released as much of the tension from earlier as you possibly could but in the most amazing way. Your eyes rolled back into your head while your back arched as Tom’s tongue continued to work you up while you were at your highest point.

Letting out a breathy laugh as you started to come down from it, feeling Tom begin to kiss his way back up your stomach with a smug look, “Don’t give me that look,” you rolled your eyes at his cockiness as his tongue traced along your neck, “I could do what you just did to myself, you know,” you tried to knock him off his high horse a bit while he pretended to be wounded from your words.

“Ah, but you didn’t. Did you?” Tom reminded you as his lips found yours. His hands still in between your thighs as he brought them between you both, showing you his coated fingers while he tasted you off of them, “Tastes like I made you cum because you wanted me to,” his smugness only elevated as he pushed himself off of you as he laid on his back on your bed.

“Need I remind you that you came to my place like a porno with a pizza looking to get laid,” you retaliated as you shifted so you were now hovering over him. Your hands guiding towards his belt buckle to get him out of his restraintive pants. The pleading look on his face made you just as smug, “Sounds like you want me to do just about the same thing, am I right or am I right?” you sang in his ear.

Tom helped you get the rest of his pants and boxers off, feeling himself spring out as he stared back at you with uncertainty, “Did you...just call me a porn star?” he questioned as the two of you let out a laugh.

“You wish, Tommy,” you teased as you ran your tongue down his abs, placing small and open kisses against his stomach as you made your way down to his legs while your hand carefully gripped his hardened length, your thumb running the pre-cum around his tip while you already heard him gasping for you.

Gripping your bedsheets with one hand, Tom reached around to create a makeshift ponytail to hold your hair. Cussing under his breath as he watched your mouth wrap around his tip, swirling your tongue around it while your eyes searched for his. He was really trying to hold it together but you were already driving him crazy.

“Let’s see what you got, Y/N,” Tom challenged you with a heavy breath as he tightened his grip around your hair, “Sometimes, girls think they know exactly what to do but-OH FUCK!” 

His words were lost as soon as your mouth went straight down to his base. Suctioning as hard as you could before coming back up his cock painfully slow. Moaning your name as his chest began to heave, Tom felt his thighs start to quiver from under you. Even just watching the way you were working on him was enough to make him whimper right now.

“Fuck...okay, yeah I take that back,” Tom gasped as his nose crinkled up while his other hand white knuckled the sheets, “God, your mouth is fucking perfect. Why haven’t we done any of this shit before?” he was in such a fucked out haze, he wasn’t even sure if anything he was saying made any sense at all. But he felt his stress from earlier going away finally. Even if this was just a short state of bliss, he was grateful for it anyway.

“You really want me to answer that or would you just prefer me to keep sucking your dick?” you sassed while you kitten licked his tip. You watched from the end of the bed as Tom bucked his hips into your mouth to try and get more contact from your lips but you pulled away from him and just kept licking his tip.

God, you were good, Tom thought to himself.

‘K-keep going,” Tom finally breathed out, flinging his head against the pillow to brace for the impact.

Hollowing your cheeks, you pushed yourself all the way down his cock. Your tongue flicking the base in between as you began to feel him throb inside of your mouth. You could tell he was close so you moaned softly into his cock, watching as Tom shuddered from the sensation you just sent through him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Tom cried out, moaning your name as he rutted his hips into your mouth. His pupils blacked as he felt the heat rising in his body, “Shit...I’m gonna cum, Y/N,” he warned as you pulled away, running your hand down his shaft as he began to come undone for you.

His warmth spilled out into your hand and down his cock while he let go finally. The stress somewhat leaving his body as it did yours while the euphoric high peaked for him. Your lips crashed against his while his tongue parted your lips to find yours, tangling them together as he moaned against your mouth while riding out his high finally.

You waited for Tom to catch his breath before you smiled against his lips, placing a small peck against them as you pulled away with an even bigger grin, “Yeah, you’re welcome,” you gave him the same arrogant tone he gave to you moments earlier before you pecked his lips again.

After taking some time to get yourselves together mixed with the continuous fooling around underneath the sheets, you and Tom finally decided to get up and end the night. Even though he didn’t want to leave, he knew he probably shouldn’t overstay. Primarily, Tom was adamant about never spending the night at a girl’s place that he slept with. That made things complicated and he didn’t want complicated. But since you and him had rules to not make things messy, he wasn’t sure if that applied to you. For now, he wanted to play it safe so he got himself dressed again.

You pulled on an oversized t-shirt, realizing both of your hair looked a mess. Luckily you were already home and Tom was down the hall so it didn’t really matter. You wanted to say something to Tom, that you were thankful he came by tonight. You were thankful even before sex was on the table. It felt nice to have him as an ally to swing by with a pizza when he didn’t even know you needed that.

“...is it weird to say I’m glad you came by?” you gestured towards your bedroom while you walked with him out into the kitchen where the half eaten pizza was left, “I know we haven’t really made too many rules about it but…” you trailed off with a nervous laugh as you smiled at him awkwardly.

“Like we said, zero weirdness,” Tom reminded you as he padded his way over to you. He grabbed a leftover crust from the box and shoved it in his mouth, clearly starving already from the workout you had just given him. He smiled while he chewed lazily, his mouth still filled with pizza crumbs, “But I’m happy to come by when we have shit days...and make you cum as well,” he smirked deviously. 

The door opened as you smiled back, “Doesn’t have to be just bad days, you know. We could...screw whenever we feel like it,” you told him, hoping that it wasn’t too much.

“Did you just say screw?” he whipped his head towards you with a loud laugh.

“Alright then, I guess I’ll just leave you to the girls who leave you unsatisfied then,” you fought back.

Tom leaned against the door with his mouth gaped open, “They do not...leave me...unsatisfied?” he questioned himself, knowing that that was true, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

“Then why are you here?” you placed a hand on your hip, feeling the smile pulling at your lips while you messed around with him. You certainly weren’t in this mood earlier before Tom came around.

Pressing his lips together, Tom rolled his eye at you, “Fine...we can screw...whenever,” he leaned in closer to you with his eyes big as he mimicked your voice when you said it, “As long as we keep this thing strictly what we intended, you can use me whenever you need, Y/N,” and he meant it.

You didn’t back away when he sealed his words with a soft kiss, paired with his trademark grin. Tom pulled away slowly, taking in the moment as he wished you a goodnight quietly before kissing you against the cheek, “Like I said, best friend I ever had,” he said softly once again.

“Am I interrupting something?” A voice broke from behind the two of you. Both of your eyes widened towards each other as you both simultaneously pivoted your heads towards the staircase where the voice was coming from.

Tom closed his eyes with a groan, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to ignore Harrison staring at the two of you with a crooked grin. Making it known to Tom that explaining this was going to be a lot tougher than he had imagined.

Taglist: @osterfield-holland-andcompany @giuls-394 @missmulti @hazmyheart @lauras-collection @iamapersonwholikesunicorns @detroitbydark @mcuassemble @blahhhhhhhaaa @lonikje @beiroviski @ruefulposts @desir-ae @kayla-m1996 @unicorn-princess-1999 @asmilinghopelessromantic @itsjusttor @whatareyouhidingpeter @when-marvellous-things-happen @mannien @lilostif16 @u-rrose @ninjalex1d  @baby-unidorn @astoldbydanid @honey-sea @fallingforfics @lulueliott24 @mikalakat @babebenhardy @coni-martina @captainemrys @mktravelbuggie @underoosmarvel @pluckypete @hollandfanficlove @lookalivefrosty @lightmelikeacigarette @msmarvel-19  @u-rrose @parker-holland-osterfield @thwip-it-real-good @shirukitsune @justanotherusername80 @dangerdolns @jwolfesblog @jjayyc  @ifilosemyselfagain @axisnpalma @londonspidey @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @bookgirlunicorn @kfcyum @thenoddingbunny-blog @buzzbuzzitsmeagainbitch @herondale-snow-carstairs @marvelobsessedteenager @unlimitedd @dramaholic18 @softholand @panicattheeverywherekid @emotionally-unstable23 @quackeroos @unbelievableholland  @holyhumorliteraturelight  @spideyyeet @katiekinzs  @fanficparker @ifntelyinspirit @rubberducky-jrr @xguardgirlx   @selfcarecap @localfangirlx @xxpeachyxo @hazardosterfield @xstarbae @justanotherusername80  @photoshopart15 @spiderbibby @the-fandom-life-forever @jannine00742 @spideysimpossiblegirl @parachutepantswedgie-blog @decadentwastelandtrash @anythingthaticareabout @outshineallthestars @captainamirica @thehauntingofmymind @watermelonsponge @sinisterspidey @adayasgeorgia @obliviatevamps @damnrancidchicken @lolooo22 @cocoamoonmalfoy @spideyspeaches @hollandprkr @peachitofu @quacksonholland @itscaminow @ohtobelovedbyyou @diffind0 @tomhollandsslut @chipot-lol s @marvelouspouges @agustdowney @305weasley @youvebeenlizzed   @spidey-sophie​ @azaraspirit​