#If you're wondering why I haven't posted new art in a while it's because I currently have 115 hours in Baldur's Gate 3

[hansoeii]

Astarion 🌠

[wordsnstuff]

Hiya! Just wondering, what unusual and unique ways have helped you get out of a writer's creative block?

Let's talk *briefly* about writer's block.

Yes, this will be long, but I think it will help you.

It's been a long time since I was in a regular posting schedule for this blog, and that is upsetting to me (and many of you, I'm aware). For a significant chunk of that time, I considered writer's block to be the primary reason for this, but looking back on the nearly three years I've spent attempting over and over to return to the schedule and routine I once maintained, I have accepted that writer's block was never the problem. Not the way I thought.

I have, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, always thought of writer's block as if it's a tangible condition or something that happens to you, like a cold. That conclusion always prompted me to seek a solution (for instance, motivational content or exterior inspiration or anything that would enhance my capacity for self discipline). Because I thought of it as something that just developed naturally, I focused very little on the root of the issue and consequently it never seemed to improve.

For most of us, the past three years have ranged from severely abnormal to deeply traumatic, and though a lot of mythology around the process of art and inspiration tells us that conflict and pain inform a good portion of creativity, I have to admit that none of what the world has been through recently has made me want to write. When you and everyone you know have been in a survival mindset for several years, the seemingly trivial pleasure of creating fiction or sharing content about the process feels overwhelming. Every time I've returned to this space that I created long before experiencing any of this turmoil, especially because this turmoil occurred during the dawn of my adulthood, it has felt like a silly attempt at denial.

My writer's block, and I'm sure many others', was not simply a case of burnout or lack of inspiration. It's not that I had been pushing myself too hard without allowing for reasonable time for rest and recharging my mind, or that I simply ran out of ideas or reasons to want to continue. Even when you have the deepest of passion for a craft, you will always be human and therefore always affected by your environment and the events in your life. When you find yourself unable to put the pen to the paper, instead of asking what you can do to change that, ask why you're struggling in the first place. Focus on the cause, not the effect.

For me, a lot of my difficulty with writing has come from my environment and the mindset it has put me in. I am currently in university, so whether I like it or not, I have to write here and there and pull myself together to be able to do that. Every time I do so, I wonder why I can't enforce that same authority on myself for my personal projects, and it's because, for a long while, my environment has not been conducive to that effort. I haven't had the control over my schedule and responsibilities that I used to have, and finding a balance between these responsibilities and my personal goals has has a learning curve. All of these circumstances, for better or worse, have affected my mental state and my ability to write.

I did not have the freedom or even the energy to put in practice the exercises that helped me before, and as a result I haven't been writing. Coming out of that struggle hasn't been a matter of waiting for things to change or get better, it's been putting my energy toward a new process of trial and error. Since accepting that my new reality is here to stay, the priority has been finding new ways to work around it and specifically, work with it. This acceptance can require a lot of difficult reflection, and this can reach beyond your desire to write and into your desire to live a good life in general. It can feel silly or humiliating or patronizing to approach this reflection from the very bottom of things, and this includes the basics.

It may seem silly to consider the basics when the problem feels so extreme, but when you're consistently forgetting the casual maintenance of your mind and body, you will consistently find yourself failing to accomplish much beyond the bare minimum. If you struggle with mental health, this will be even more evident. Basic things like hydration, diet, sleep, movement, interaction, and joy will always be the most effective place to start when addressing why you cannot write. Once you have verified that these needs are met, then the presence of a deeper problem will reveal itself, but you'll never know if that's the case unless you check the other boxes.

So, you've checked the basics and they're all fine but you're still experiencing writer's block. Have you made time in your daily schedule for intentional rest? Are you coming home at the end of a long day and jumping straight into writing or keeping up with your duties at home or simply falling in front of a screen for a few hours? None of these things are rest. Distracting yourself with noise or housekeeping is not rest, and when it's all you do after a full day of other responsibilities, you haven't truly spent a moment with yourself finding fulfilling joy or relaxation. Yes, they can be compelling and very difficult habits within your routine to let go of, especially if you struggle to function without something occupying the back of your mind, but rest is extremely important to the creative process. If you like to scroll online a little bit or watch an episode of your comfort show after you get home to unwind, that's great. But in order to truly take advantage of your free time, try to optimize it by being intentional about the way you're experiencing it. Try not to fall into a routine of distraction because that isn't rest and it won't satisfy any of your needs.

Have you incorporated things into your routine that will contribute to your motivation to write? I don't mean you should put Stephen King quotes as your desktop screensaver or watch videos of people writing to make you want to participate. Those things help some people and that's great, but consuming things that make you think or bring you pleasure like books and well written movies or shows or music or podcasts can be just as impactful as anything else you do for your creative process. It's not just about what you do, it's about how others inspire you, and it's one thing to say you love books and reading and learning, and it's another to actually do them every day like you would wash your face or brush your teeth.

Whether you write as a hobby or an aspiration or a job, the creative process remains the same. It's important to remain consistent with the things you do to maintain your ability to write as much as it is to remain consistent with your actual writing routine. As a general rule of thumb, writer's block doesn't come from nowhere. If you want to alleviate it, you have to target the root of the problem or it will continue appearing on the surface. There is no one-size-fits-all cure to it and there are no "top ten wacky ways I solved years of executive dysfunction with the right chrome extension or tea flavor or candle scent or by typing upside down". This is internal work you will need to do, but it starts with trusting yourself. It is never too late to return to your passion. You will build it back up like a muscle, but you have to heal first.

I sincerely hope this helps,

Kate

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[layton-heritage-posts]

So uh...

This is a bit awkward but you're probably wondering why I left this blog abandoned... again... just when I started the new tournament. Truth is, my art program chose to delete the bracket image with all the names + images of the competing tracks.

I can't just download the Image already posted because obviously I can't really edit it all that well, meaning that I have to make an entirely new one.

This absolutely dropkicked my motivation to 0, so that's why you haven't heard from me in a while :)

To actually get this thing rolling again I'm gonna have to make the tournament setups as a normal post, at least until I can get the broken motor that is my brain working again.

If all goes well round 1 starts tomorrow!

[epithetical]

2024 UPDATE (OFFICIAL)

Hey, everyone. Longtime no talk. Despite being weirdly active on this account, I haven't really made any textposts since high school. So I've decided to fix this by giving a gigantic update post about my very busy 2023. If you're new and don't know anything about me, or knew me as a teen and are wondering what I'm up to now: buckle up.

TL;DR:

Dropped out of art school. Released an award-nominated(???) dating sim, ValiDate. Killed the Golden Girls Take Manhattan DX. Conquered Jaw Explosion Disease. Hung out with some friends. (Also, a lot of NDA shit that I can’t talk about.)

ART-SCHOOL DROPOUT

From 2021 to 2022, I was attending a prestigious and overly-expensive art school for their (brand new!) game design program. When I first graduated from high school, this college was my dream choice, and coming off the success of my early game dev career, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to polish my skills while I kept working on the side. My first commercial game was still in development, but we were feeling comfortable, and I felt like getting greedy.

Pride before the fall. Full Icarus mode. You know how it goes.

The school itself was…alright. Satellite campus, mid-pandemic, hybrid learning. Close enough to commute comfortably, classes just long enough for masks to not give me a headache, and the handful of remote courses helped keep my medical problems at bay. Problems that the school was a little unequipped to help with, though the disability office did their best. I had to drop a class because my body, at the time, couldn’t handle eight hours of classes without some Crazy Side Effects. 

(Keep in mind that every class was, minimum, four hours. And I had to take at least five a semester. Each class also saw me make an entire game from scratch. My body was already at its limit.)

If you knew me in high school, you’re probably waiting for the shoe to drop: I was, famously, the worst at academics. Never did homework, rarely finished projects, slept through first period at least once a week. Surprise, though: I was fucking great at this. My GPA doubled. Turns out that going to school for a discipline you already have a career in, and are kinda obsessed with, kinda does wonders for you. Unfortunately, I picked the worst time to care about school, since my commercial game’s release was the same exact night that my five school games were due.

TL;DR, I didn’t sleep for a week, almost fucked both up, and got burnout so bad that I couldn’t do anything for a calendar year. So I dropped out! Now, about a year of job hunting later (the game’s industry is imploding right now, and the only studios that considered me were… questionable, to say the least), the expensive art school wants me back. So badly. Turns out the whole school is so broke and understaffed right now that they’re basically chomping at the bit for that tuition money. Got a week to decide. Jury’s still out.

VALIDATE POST-MORTEM

So, if you couldn’t tell from the above section, we released a game in 2022!  I was supposed to write a post-mortem for it, but… burnout from the above, combined with general “post-release depression,” and I didn’t feel like touching it. 

Part of me still doesn’t! 

Yet I kinda think the feeling of me not wanting to talk about ValiDate is still worth discussing, so here we go:

For those of you that aren’t aware, I was a head dev on ValiDate, a dating sim that released in 2022. Volume 1 (of 3) did, anyway.

Did a lot of music, did a lot of writing, created some characters people really care about, created some characters people really want to fuck, made a couple Tweets that my boss hated, got accused of being reverse racist a few times. It was truly one of the most exciting and rewarding experiences of my life. And, yes, we’re still working on Vol. 2 behind the scenes. 

That’s actually the reason why it’s kinda hard to talk about Vol. 1!

It was my first commercial game, my first publicly released game, and I think there’s always gonna be a… natural embarrassment toward your first “real” project. Combine that with my natural “if you stare at me for too long, I will kill myself” tendencies, and the game’s release was a special type of torture. It’s one thing to watch people play through a game that you poured your blood, sweat, and tears into, knowing full well that they might hate it (or just misunderstand it), but shit gets so much worse when you know that you could have done better. 

It’s a very special kind of psychological torture to have creative decisions you feel were mistakes, things you half-assed because of burnout or deadlines, or things you did wrong because you just didn’t know any better! The embarrassment was overwhelming, so I just… dipped for a while. Didn’t watch gameplay or read reviews, didn’t do much of anything.

Took me a while to realize that me being embarrassed about the project isn’t because ValiDate was bad or anything. I was embarrassed because it was an incredible learning opportunity for me. The amount that I picked up on game design, community management, leadership, marketing, pitching, porting, etc. in two years is more than any school could teach you in four. Volume 1 was a game made by amateurs, still wet behind the ears, trying to build something from grassroots. 

But Volume 2 is a game-ass game. 

And having done all the work we have on Vol. 2 (which, while I can’t talk about it publicly, is a lot!), looking back at our first release feels like… revisiting your awkward middle school photos. Sometimes it’s hard to not feel contempt for who you were when your biggest struggle was becoming, but learning to choke down that shame? It taught me to feel grateful for the you of yesterday, who clawed their way through uncertainty so that you, today, can stand on sturdier ground. Growing up is embarrassing, and it turns out you keep doing it well into your twenties! Sucks. 

For the past few days, Dani and I have been watching a Twitch streamer play through Volume 1. We’ve been so deep in planning for the future that we figured, hey, may as well revisit the past. Detached from all that embarrassment of becoming, I gotta admit: we made a fun little dating sim. People like it. Hell, I like it. Sure, I know all of its flaws and shortcuts, and I have my fair share of critiques… but fact of the matter is, if I have a problem with something, I can just fix it. 

Admittedly, In the past, that attitude of mine has actually been more of a problem than a solution. “I can fix this myself!” is all fine and good when you’re a solo dev trying to throw something together, but it turns out taking on excess responsibility in a collaborative setting is a way to make shit suck for you and your team. During the Kickstarter demo era, I was literally on every team besides art. Writing, programming, music, I got my fingers in all those pies. It was fun to me, and more importantly, it was sustainable. 

Until it wasn’t.

Volume 1 coinciding with my tenure at [art school], using a (finicky and, frankly, shitty) new game engine, being much larger in scope, introducing minigames (which, surprise, I was team lead on)... I pretty much killed myself trying to get it all done. Honestly, I blame half of our day-one bugfixes on me specifically. Every single one of them was an oversight made because I was pulling the classic “I’m unmedicated so crunching is the only way I can feel alive” type shit. 

Except for the OST. That one sucked because art school sucks all the joy out of creating.

Happy to say that our workflow for Volume 2 has been much more sustainable for me, even if I’ve officially broken my “no art” rule for it. Yeah, turns out I’m finally making use of that animation major. Sucks.

Self reflection over. Except for one last note:

If you’ve followed ValiDate, played our demo, donated to the Kickstarter, replied to our Tweets, played our second demo, bought our game, or just talked about us to a friend… I am so, so grateful. Beyond what words could possibly describe. It’s been my dream for as long as I can remember become a game developer, and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you guys. Vd8 wasn’t what I expected the cornerstone of my career to be, but honestly? I couldn’t have asked for a better one. We have Vriska in our game. How many people can possibly say that?

And to those of you still waiting for Volume 2:

You haven’t seen anything yet.

GAYMING AWARDS

Speaking of ValiDate… Did you hear we were nominated for some Gayming Awards last year? We were! 

Three other head Vd8 devs (Dani: Production, Alexis: Art, Cam: Code) flew out to beautiful New York City for the award show last March, which was actually our first time actually meeting up IRL. Really funny how I’ve known Dani since I was fifteen, but here we were, a decade later, finally meeting face to face. She’s so much taller in person. I’m still taller, but barely.

Meeting up with internet friends is one thing (and more on that later!), but meeting up with internet coworkers? It’s interesting. This was the first moment that ValiDate felt “real,” seeing as it was suddenly important enough to give us comp’d flights and a hotel room, but more than that: the people I’ve been working with for years exist? We’re all hanging out together? We’re wandering through Manhattan all day? We’re eating the most disgusting food at Junior’s in Times Square? We’re trying to figure out what this mystery liquid is? How much did this food cost again? (Seriously, my onion rings were 90% dough and 10% onion.)

While I won’t bore you with the minutiae—I think my friends would prefer the privacy anyway—the entire trip to NYC was fun, exhausting, and a dream-come-true.

Except for that goddamn award show. Jesus CHRIST, what a trainwreck.

No, I’m not saying that just because we lost. We did lose, though. (Personally, I was fine with it, but I also had to travel the least distance to get there. So…) I’m saying that because the entire Gayming Awards industrial complex was, uh, kinda busted this year?

So imagine, you’re us: bunch of twenty-somethings on your Sex and the City shit. Big award show tonight, formal attire. We’re talking high heels, long dresses, full suits, the whole nine yards. Now what do you do in Manhattan? Walk. Sure, we weren’t walking in formal attire the entire time, but it was still a good five blocks to the award center where—wait, what do you mean they relocated the ceremony? The hall they rented is closed for mysterious reasons? Where the hell are we doing the award show?

If you answered “the drag bar where the afterparty was supposed to take place,” congrats, here’s $20. Way further away from our hotel, which meant more walking, and also a way smaller venue with a lot less… formality, let’s say. But we’re young gay people, we don’t care about formalities, who gives a shit! As long as it can seat all of us, then—oh there’s no seating. Ohhhh. Oh! Okay.

I’ll admit, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. There were a handful of couches, VIPs only. Realizing quickly that, oh shit, we’re VIPs, we managed to snag some front-seat couches before any of the pesky old people could. (We’re young! We deserve to sit! You’ve had your entire lives to sit, established games industry people! Let the new generation have a turn!) Unfortunately, when I got up to cash in my free-drink voucher, my seat was stolen by some white lady. 

So I sat on the floor.

March 2023. You, sitting at home, have decided to tune into the Gayming Awards “live” on Twitch, curious to see what Britain’s premiere gayming magazine had to say about, uh, esports. 

This is important to you. 

Fortunately, this year you’re watching a decently shot and scripted award show filmed in a (noticeably claustrophobic) little bar, complete with charming presenters (many of whom are local drag queens) and a myriad of corporate sponsors. You can hardly tell that the entire show was uprooted and moved hours prior!

Yet, for some reason, whenever the cameras cut to the audience… There’s some large man, right in front of the crowd, slumped down on the floor as if he’s bleeding out. With every award given, his clapping grows weaker. The more the camera cuts to him, the more life drains from his body, as if his existence itself is anathema to “gayming.”

Imagine, for a moment, that this man is nominated for an award. 

Imagine that he, after a lifetime of potassium deficiency, has been teetering on the edge of a Charlie Horse Reckoning for hours.

Imagine that the microsecond that his game’s name is called as a nominee, the Reckoning begins. 

Now imagine a world where he wins that award. 

A world where he is forced to stand—from his corpse’s rightful place on the ground!—in front of his peers and superiors, pretending as if he’s not afflicted with a life-ending muscle cramp.

So, yeah. I was pretty fine with losing.

Later, we ditched the “afterparty” to drink at Applebees. (Turns out “green tea shots” don’t have any green tea in ‘em?)

EULOGY FOR THE GOLDEN GIRLS TAKE MANHATTAN DX

Big announcement! I was a team lead on The Golden Girls Take Manhattan DX, a certified Tumblr Gold™ fan-project (by the immortal Grawly) about the eponymous Gold Girls in a Persona-esque parody game! 

Slightly bigger announcement! The game got cancelled. Sorry.

Feels a little weird talking about this, since the year-ish I spent working on the game passed in the blink of an eye, and I’m not going to lie and say that I was an instrumental piece of the team or whatever. I was lucky enough to lead a very talented team, and to play with some very fun devtools, but the game was definitely more important to me than I was to it. (Grawly, if by some off-chance you’re reading this, please click off now. You can peek back in at the Jaw Explosion Disease subheader. I promise I’m very nice and respectful.)

I was in high school when I was first made aware of TGGTMDX. My friend group was very into Persona (in the pre-P5 days), and one of our favorite video subgenres was “videogame UI on top of sitcom scenes.” It didn’t take us long to stumble onto early-build footage of TGGTMDX on Tumblr, and what spawned was a years-long fascination. I’d even consider it one of my many… game dev awakenings? The idea that the only thing stopping me from making “American Persona”—one of my many white whales—was commitment to the bit. Just one of the many things that fueled my teenaged suicidal overconfidence.

Speaking of suicidal overconfidence, about a decade later, I was invited to work on the game! Coming fresh off ValiDate, I was desperate for a chance to make a real portfolio piece (visual novels, while popular, will never get you a job), and this sort of opportunity only presents itself once in a lifetime. Fulfilling a teenage dream while furthering your career? What could possibly go wrong!

That makes it seem like there was some explosive drama behind the scenes that ruined everything. Sorry to say that most game cancellations aren’t that exciting, and that this game’s death was by a thousand microscopic cuts. Most of which are not my place to talk about: this game wasn’t my baby, and cancelling it wasn’t my choice to make! Many people worked on this for much, much longer than I even knew how to code, and they deserve to have their feelings prioritized. Whenever that post mortem gets published, I’ll be the first to reblog it, trust me. 

Instead, I’d prefer to talk a little about this as being my first real “loss” as a game dev. Certainly not my first project to go under, and I’ve had my fair share of shelved prototypes, but something about this cancellation was… different. Working on your dream project is all fun and games until you feel partially responsible for it dying, y’know? It felt Sisyphean at a point, like trying to dig a hole in the sand with a pitchfork. I would work at the game, and work at the game, but nothing I did felt like it made a dent. 

Part of me knew I wasn’t giving it my all, between the school-based burnout (above), jaw explosion disease (below), and ValiDate (omnipresent), it’s not like I could’ve afforded to put more of myself into it. Besides, I was literally a team lead, half my job was telling other people what to do. But the spectre of “you’re not doing enough” was hard to shake. Even when all these other responsibilities ebbed and I could afford to give this game my all, the difference felt minimal. 

We spend a lot of time pitying Sisyphus for having to push that boulder uphill over and over, but none of us ask ourselves “could we even move that big fucking rock in the first place?” Apparently, I couldn’t.

I wasn’t the only one that felt that way, it turned out. In fact, pretty much all the friends I made on the project felt the same. If there’s any “real” reason why the project got cancelled, it’s that. No big falling out, Disney didn’t give us a cease and desist, no secret rebrand going on in the background. Just a bunch of lads getting sick of pushing a boulder. Hell, Grawly’s been doing it for a decade. Let him rest.

Not too much rest, though: we’re already working on a different game together (Date Knight: check it out if you haven’t!), and some of us ex-Golden Girls devs have some ideas for what else we can cook up. 

For money, this time.

JAW EXPLOSION DISEASE

Probably the biggest “development” of 2023 was my sudden horrible nerve pain in July, which started as a sinus infection on the left side of my face, and soon became a horrific jaw pain. Long after my sinus infection healed, the jaw pain remained, which is a pretty bad hand to draw when a considerable portion of your day is spent “talking,” or “eating.” So, for the back half of 2023, I didn’t do much of either.

Instead, I had to take a considerable amount of ibuprofen, visit one doctor, three dentists, two hospitals, and four oral surgeons to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. The dentists discovered an exposed nerve, caused by wisdom tooth removal complications (sick!), the oral surgeons went “okay, we can fix that,” got me all numbed up. But it turns out that my left jaw is immune to local anesthesia! Thinking this was an infection, they kept putting me on antibiotics over and over in the hopes that it’d suddenly work. Took a note from my childhood dentist explaining that, “no, he’s always been like this” to find a surgeon willing to put me all the way under. (And then, the first time they tried, I woke up in the middle anyway! I got a full refund on the copay, at least.) 

Ultimately, I found a very nice surgeon in December that treated me same-day, and did it perfectly, but the damage to my liver from all that ibuprofen was… bad. But it turns out that livers just… regenerate naturally? So, give it a few months, I’ll be at 100%. Hopefully.

OOMFCON

Hilariously, six months after we met up for the Gayming Awards, Dani and Alexis found their way back to NYC for a little combination meet-up/vacation we affectionately titled “Oomfcon 2023.” This time, with bonus friends! Our entire friend server, whose name I’ve been advised not to post publicly, had rented an AirBnB for anyone willing to drop everything and go to Brooklyn. 

It took about a year of planning (mostly by Alexis) to get us all out there, but Jesus Christ, it actually worked.

Admittedly I’m a bit hesitant to talk at length about “taking a vacation”—even though I’m already… from here?—but it really was the highlight of my year. First for actually happening, when most friend groups I’ve had would have written the idea off as a pipedream, but mostly for being a really good time. A lot of walking, a lot of talking, a lot of drinking, a lot of dining. (This was during Jaw Explosion Disease, so you can imagine how my body took most of that.)

To Dani, Alexis, Miles, Haven, Grim, Xtine, and Ty: thanks for coming up here! The city is a lot more boring without you guys in it. I promise to have less health issues when we do this again!

And to everyone else outside the groupchat that I met and bored with my job hunt stories: Nice meeting you guys! Sorry that fate decided every single one of you is forced to keep in touch with me. (And I didn’t even get the shitty corporate job!)

[kurisus]

Chapter 104 thoughts

I'm back from posting purgatory and have rewritten, more or less, what Tumblr deleted, so now it's time for my favorite game: Ina Tries To Figure Out What The Fuck Happened In The Latest Noragami Chapter. Spoilers under the cut.

So at the beginning we see trash dad cut himself free from Fujisaki and revert to his original form, while Fujisaki wakes up in Yukine's old house, far from home. I'm really interested to see how much he knows, which I said last time--whether he was aware he was being used or if he's basically been unconscious for the past year. I think he has to be aware on some level, because he knows Father's true name and has to invoke it to summon him from Yomi, but it would also be funny if he flies into a panic, follows the newly created lake, and ends up with the main cast. How far are they from the house, anyway?

Come to think of it, I've been reading Alive since last month (Adachitoka's first manga, which was written by their mentor while they drew the art) and while I'm not done yet, the north of Japan features prominently as a setting for that story and as the final showdown for this one. I'm not sure why, maybe they're from there, but it's interesting.

I'm so glad Yato slammed into trash dad after he insulted Mizuchi. It shows he does recognize her as a victim, and is willing to let things mend between them, since she's had her own character arc since Yato released her name. Don't get me wrong, that was still the right choice for him at the time--but they've both changed since then. And I always love the character development in this manga so this had me bouncing in my seat.

YATO ALSO SAYING HE'S NOTHING BUT A DEAD PERSON LIKE YESSSSSS GET HIM GET HIM KILL HIS MISERABLE ASS

Ahem. I wish Yato had been able to land at least one punch on this horrible man, but it's time for a shounen powerup.

Using the koto no ha on himself grants trash dad access to Izanami/Izanagi level powers, which I think is a temporary powerup that will end with Izanami taking him back to Yomi, because of how he can "feel her breath" on his neck. He plans to then escape again, and possess another body.

This new power is an ass pull as fast-moon put it, but it's also not the first of its kind in Noragami. Think back to Yukine getting cut in half and becoming a hafuri, Amaterasu appearing out of nowhere to give Hiyori the hint that saved Yato's life in Yomi, and how the main characters were saved from the covenant which provided the entire basis for the current arc (due to unresolved tensions between them and the rest of heaven). Basically, in Noragami these things happen with good reason and/or hugely impact the rest of the story, so I think it's best to wait and see how this trash dad development plays out before making judgments on how it affects the writing quality.

There's an old Noragami theory that Father is Izanagi, or stole his power, and it's been mostly dismissed in recent years (but there's an echodrops post about it here if you're interested in the points it made) and even more so since we got snippets of his backstory, but I think it's worth bringing back up now. Izanagi has been suspiciously absent from the manga, and I'm not sure he's even been mentioned, so I wonder if the koto no ha ties into that somehow. Honestly if Izanami killed him in this version of the story and used his power to make the koto no ha, good for her.

Anyway, trash dad reveals he's not just some human who came back from the dead. He can use these powers of creation; it's unclear whether he's used them before, but Yato has never seen him do so--Mizuchi seems to know what he's doing, but it's also unclear whether she's seen it either. I said years ago I don't think it was easy as him just returning from the dead and being granted godlike powers, but I haven't been insistent on it so much because I did a reread of the official translation two years ago and that version heavily implies the only thing trash dad did to get his powers was come back from the dead. I wonder how they'll reconcile that when this volume gets translated (please hold for another 2 years, lmfao).

Is this Izanagi's power, or Izanami's? Did he steal Izanagi's powers next after he paid Izanami a visit? Did he know what using the koto no ha on himself would do? Was it an educated guess based on Izanami's power? Is it still possible he could be a reincarnated Izanagi that believed himself to be human? I don't know if I'd like that last one, but these are the questions I hope to have answered.

Taking a brief detour to discuss that Kiun and Mayu have joined forces to look for their gods, and Ookuninushi is alive but has with him three freshly reincarnated gods--Yatagarasu, Kagutsuchi, and Shinatsuhiko. I'm shocked he lived and they died, but it may lead to an interesting change in heaven where he has to reconcile how they threw away their shinki lives even after they were explicitly told not to use them. The way heaven (and most gods) treat their shinki as not people but disposable tools has been a long-running theme of this manga, and it's been clear larger-scale changes need to be made.

So back to the main event, trash dad creates a biblical sort of flood, but one that brings images of the past. Alongside the tree where a young Yato named Sakura, we also see a cottage and a multi-level house. The cottage may be where Yato and Hiiro were raised, or it might be the one from the Father flashbacks: Check them out side by side:

(103-2; page 1 [Father and Kaya village]; 104, page 21; 45, page 33 [Yato, Hiiro, Father cottage] if you want to check for yourself)

Next, there's that multi-story building, which could be the place where Yato made his first kills, or Hiyori's grandmother's house. There isn't much visible, so it's hard to tell, but here's another side by side:

(46, page 9 [where Yato made his first kills]; 104, page 21; 85, page 42 [Hiyori's grandmother's house])

If this enchanted world functions similarly to Hiyori viewing Yato's past while he's asleep, Hiyori will get to experience trash dad's past as it really happened. I've mentioned before it bothers me how the gravekeeper has been narrating the events even though he wasn't present for any of them, so it's entirely likely Father manipulated the facts of his history, or they naturally changed over the course of a thousand years.

I also think Hiyori could find out trash dad's weak point, his true name, if/when she witnesses his past. She could then become his lifeline and decide to let the secret die with her. Or he could possess her, but I'm being optimistic.

The tree she sees is the tree where Yato named Sakura, but it could also have some significance to Father and Kaya; if the cottage where he raised Yato and Hiiro was in the same general location as that village, he could have some memories there.

So if we get Hiyori and Sakura interaction I will cry. If we get Hiyori and Kaya interaction I will also cry.

Next few chapters I'm really excited to see where this enchanted lake dimension thing goes. Yukine could also be caught up in it, depending on how far it has spread, and it'll be interesting to see how Amaterasu reacts to it too.

I don't normally say this, but reblogs are appreciated. This post required a lot of skimming older chapters to tie my thoughts together, and my original draft got half erased when I was just finishing it up so I had to rewrite a lot of it. Plus it seems like everyone was pretty confused by the events of this chapter, so a reblog would help to spread it around and hopefully shed some light on the events. Thanks!

[athenaholmesartistsguild]

I'm actually posting art again!!!

Here's my Page of Pentacles tarot card that I've been working on for the past few days. I really like how it turned out!!!!

I wasn't all that in love with the border that I had for my other tarot cards. I thought it was a little boring and didn't really go with the ~Yakuza aesthetic~ so I tried something a little different and I think it came out really cool!

So let's talk tarot meanings! All of this will be under the cut since it's a little long

The Page of Pentacles (or yen in this case) typically represents having luck in the material world whether that be with your finances, a new business opportunity, or just all-around being able to live comfortably and be provided for.

The Page has the energy and drive to do all of the hard parts of being successful; after all, achieving any major goal isn't going to be fun all the time. There are times where you're doing something that's tedious, or difficult, even just new and kinda scary. The Page of Pentacles is a reminder that you have the willpower within you to prevail as long as you stick to your plan and go forth with confidence and focus.

Overall, the Page of Pentacles is a card of new beginnings. If you're wondering whether or not now is the time to start that project or make that big decision, this card suggests that now is the time to do it! Make those plans and implement them!

Reversed, the Page of Pentacles appears to lose their sharp focus. Perhaps they haven't put a detailed enough plan in place to achieve their goals, or maybe they've lost sight of the reason they're even working towards their goals in the first place. Now might be the time to take a step back and reevaluate what you want and why. Maybe you've been working too hard and a break would help sharpen your focus?

Unlike other cards in the tarot which indicate outside forces are to blame for your setbacks, the Page of Pentacles reversed suggests that there's something internal-- something within yourself-- that's making it difficult to achieve your goals. Looking at the other cards in your reading may be beneficial in figuring out what, specifically is making progress difficult.

I chose Kiryu in Yakuza 0 because the Page as a tarot card represents someone who's young and is still in the process of learning their suit's gifts. Pages are students and as such, they're still at the very beginning of their journey. While they're full of excitement and drive to succeed, their actions may be clumsy or poorly thought through; they might not necessarily have the wisdom of the older cards in the suit.

I thought this fit Kiryu really well because he just sort of falls into running a real estate business and has to be taught by the people around him to make it successful. He's not very refined due to his personality and also his inexperience, but he still pursues it with that trademark Kiryu zeal.

I chose to depict the moment when he's defeating the different billionaires because that's really when he's embodying being 'wealthy'. There's so much money in the air that he can snatch a huge handful from the sky and fan himself with it. It's such a campish example of opulence.

But I think Kiryu in Yakuza 0 can also embody the reversed aspects of the Page of Pentacles as well. He's sort of bouncing around. He starts as yakuza, decides to be a civilian, then he bounces back to being yakuza. It seems like he doesn't really know what direction he wants to take or what opportunities are really available to him and because of that, his obscene wealth doesn't last.

[decamarks]

Hey there! First off I want to say I *adore* your art, you absolutely 1000% perfectly tap into the vibe and style of late 90's/early 00's 3D models in a way literally no one else does. I think about your art of your fake games' glitches (especially the forum post!!! it's. *perfect.*) all the time :)

And I've noticed how you're always very insightful and kind whenever you answer asks, so thank you for that!

If it's not too intrusive to ask, I was wondering how you went about finding a doctor to get your autism diagnosis? I've been pretty sure for a few years now that I'm on the spectrum, but I've never had a clue how to actually get tested/diagnosed. Especially since I'm an adult female too, and I've heard a ton about how autism is really overlooked/underdiagnosed for people like us.

But seeing that you were able to find someone who avoided all the common pitfalls and was able to actually help you made me want to reach out. I had been wanting to ask you this for a while (as you can probably tell based on what the question was haha) but I was too anxious to actually do it (still am, a bit ><). Again, feel free to ignore this part if it's too personal or you don't want to answer it for any reason!

It feels awkward to end an ask with that, so I'll bookend it with something I think you'll like: have you ever heard of trsrockin.com? It's an old fansite I used to visit religiously as a kid that talked about early Pokemon and Super Mario games and collectibles from them, as well as oddities like glitches from the aforementioned games, forgotten weird one-off SNES games, documenting fake/trick fanmade "cheats" for games, and bootleg merchandise.

It's one of if not the first public place (afaik) that MissingNo. and pals were discovered/talked about, and a little community came together to try and figure out why the glitch happened and what all the effects and variants of it were. Even you've been to trsrockin before and none of this is new info, I thought it would at least be a nice trip down memory lane :)

It's an old site that has since been taken down, and for some reason archive.org can't properly archive the full site/all its links. But luckily someone created a complete mirror of it! You can find it here: http://catfish.it.cx/trsrockin/trsrockin.com/index.html

AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! ;__; you're too kind... i know i haven't posted too much of my 3d work recently, but trust me, i have a LOT more of those faux-retro aesthetics in store with the game i've been working on... >=) i'm always so so happy to see other people appreciate janky ol' 3d graphics, LMFAO

also!! i've definitely heard of trsrockin eheehee... i was a bit too young to use it when it was in its prime (and also more of a bulbapedia enthusiast), but i've perused some archived pages before! old internet forums & fansites are just the best thing in the world...

ANYWAY: regarding your question! Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm the best person to give advice about this, because I feel like I kind of got my diagnosis by chance... Essentially: I started seeing a new therapist; she suggested I might be on the spectrum, I said, "Yeah maybe IDK"; I got a referral to an evaluator—and then an incredibly expensive diagnosis after a few months of waiting and testing.

My case differs in that I didn't really suspect being on the spectrum myself. Which seems a bit silly, considering I now realize I am... observably autistic. In abundance. But it was genuinely hard to puzzle out, what with all my other problems (particularly, severe misophonia, which can be REALLY hard to differentiate from general sensory sensitivity.) So about specifically seeking out a diagnosis, I unfortunately can't give a good answer. But I'm willing to talk about the rest, on the off-chance it ends up helpful! (Under the cut at least.)

I don't like to be too open about my Issues™ online—but I got a whole lot of them, and they used to be a lot worse than they are now, so I was stuck in that perpetual "adolescent with treatment-resistant depression" purgatory for, like... my entire adolescence! Because no one knew what the hell was wrong with me. I'm barely in adulthood now, but I'm extremely thankful to be broken out of that. Both the 'treatment-resistant depression' diagnoses AND the adolescence. Being told with authority that I, indeed, have an untreated case of mega-autism—and not an irreparably broken brain whose electrical activities zap SSRIs straight out of existence—is definitely relieving. And now I can confidently say shit like 'mega-autism', so like, wins all around.

About getting a diagnosis in general: in my case, I kind of needed one, because it would be not be feasible for me to go to school/work/exist without accommodations of some kind. (The evaluation I had was, in part, just to get a psychological report of any kind, since I desperately needed supporting documentation to request accommodations anywhere.) Otherwise, I'm honestly not sure if I'd bother?

On one hand, an official diagnosis is an incredibly affirming thing to have—especially if you didn't even suspect it before; things start making a lot of sense afterwards, LOL—but on the other hand, it is a tedious and kind of humiliating process. And possibly expensive.

And then, like you mentioned, there's the problem of some doctors being biased or plainly godawful at their job/poorly designed systems ruining everything for everyone. It's probably for incompetency on those ends that a diagnosis managed to elude me for nineteen years straight. (Vividly recalling the time my school had a counselor give me an impromptu autism evaluation, in which she concluded that I "didn't seem to have autism, but would probably get along really well with autistic people." WHATEVER THAT MEANT.) But! It's not impossible to get someone who knows what they're doing! I'd love to say otherwise, but I really did just stumble into a decent doctor... There's a lot of luck involved, and man. I did not get good RNG at first. (← I'M SORRY FOR BEING A GAMER.)

I went into the evaluation doubting I had it, and heavily doubting that I'd be diagnosed, but like... Hold on let me reach across your desk and slide you the answers to the autism test. The trick is to not even try to be normal, I think. Intermittently talk about CRT monitors, and how you like learning ciphers, and Pokemon glitches—or whatever else you're into. But those specifically worked for me! "Don't mask", is what I'm saying. (Really though, I think if you're answering everything to the best of your ability, properly administered tests done by a doctor who doesn't suck should be able to diagnosis you. If they don't, then the problem is something systemic, and far beyond anything I could reasonably give advice about...)

ANYWAY! (x2) I'm honestly not sure if any of this is particularly helpful, but if you decide to pursue it, I wish you luck with getting your diagnosis!! It's definitely a bit of a hellish thing to do—but dammit, if it's worth it to you, then it's definitely worth doing.

YOUR REWARD FOR READING THIS WHOLE POST IS: "Kinesin_walking.gif"

YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH

[tamelee]

Hi tameleee, I wondered if you ever thought of making a SNS dj? I read that you were studying storytelling and in our favor *wink* that would be a win-win situation 👁 *aggressively hinting* Also I read once that Kishimoto stopped drawing goggles for Naruto only because it was too hard to draw and I just thought that was so funny, because I guess those are things you wouldn't ever think about before you start designing? I'm new to character design, because I want to make my own OC's so I have to learn all these things still, but that makes a lot of sense. Can't wait to see more from you!

Hi Non.e! ♡ You're making/going to make OC's! That really sounds like a lot of fun tbh I've never been able to dip my toes in that topic, but I hope you'll have a lot of fun with that 💕 (Don't know who you are, but if you ever feel comfortable enough to share your work, feel free to do so!)

"I wondered if you ever thought of making a SNS dj? I read that you were studying storytelling and in our favor *wink* that would be a win-win situation 👁 *aggressively hinting*"

I'm trying my hardest right now 😂 and I'm definitely not going to make it in the time-period that I wanted. Partly, because I thought my wrists were healed completely, but they're screaming at me right now. I underestimated how long it takes to prepare a single page. There is so much to learn, but it's also a lot of fun!

"Also I read once that Kishimoto stopped drawing goggles for Naruto only because it was too hard to draw and I just thought that was so funny, because I guess those are things you wouldn't ever think about before you start designing?"

Well I think those are things you only learn through experience. 

Kishimoto used to have a character named ‘Akira’ from a rejected Manga called “Wandering Detour”.   

And we know one of his, if not his biggest inspirations is a Manga-series called ‘Akira’ as well:

I read a lot of different things, but I personally think the goggles were definitely inspired from there:

Not just the goggles, but the neutral t-shirts, orange jumpsuit, the bold gloves you can see in some of his individual drawings and even the contrasting orange/blue detailing and pads/lining from the Akira designs are somewhat similar. What is so cool about it though is that Akira is from very far into the future while Naruto holds a lot of history and you can see how Kishimoto used that in his art.

Kishimoto said this about the Naruto sketch:

I also loved looking through the Akira art-books and I highly recommend them too if you want to create Manga, because I can definitely see why it got Kishimoto so inspired. It might just be me, but it’s possible that his newest Manga ‘Samurai 8’ and even ‘Boruto’ are also hugely inspired by the science fiction and futuristic themes within its world-building. In fact.. I just now started to read it and if Kishimoto stays involved with ‘Boruto’ then I might have a theory on where it’s going with the story atm. I wanted to make a post about it, but I’m not sure how interested I am in making these anymore. I might just stick with art 😂 Anyway-

Akira is very different, but has similar underlying themes if you peel off some layers. But definitely art-wise, it’s very clear that Kishimoto loved the series a lot. This is done really, really well.

Some examples:

I could go on for a while actually and I haven't even really read it yet. But isn't it beautiful? *-*✨ Thank you for your ask! 💕

[laufire]

I borrowed this from someone at dreamwidth and I thought I'd post it over here too: behold, my (completed*) January reading! feel free to borrow the meme yourself.

(list & some thoughts under the cut)

NOVELS

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. This was, technically, a reread. I say technically because I don't remember the last part of the book and now I'm wondering if I DNFed it over a decade ago and completely forgot LMAO. I... could see why. While it's A Classic, and there's plenty to like in the novel, especially in the sisters, the moralising really got to me at some points. The biggest was the one where Jo attends this meeting full of artists and geniuses and political giants ~behaving just like people~~ and this is DEVASTATING to her (and then Bhaer peddles some chrisitanism). Gurl, I would have loved that LOL. But all in all I mostly enjoyed the read. I did it bit by bit, subscribed to The Public Domain Book Club in substack; each month (or, in LW's case, each couple of months) they go through a book. I've kept the subscription for February, where it'll post "Sense and Sensibility", another Jane Austen novel I haven't read.

Lud-in-the-Mist by Hope Mirlees. I fucking ADORED this novel. I've mentioned it in this blog before but I just found it such a treat to read. Mirlees' prose is enticing and enchanting and everything I want mine to be. If you're someone that enjoys a good descriptive, florid style of narration, give this one a shot.

SHORT STORIES

I read three short stories by Angel Carter. The first three in "Burning Your Boats", apparently her earliest work: "The Man Who Loved a Double Bass", "A Very, Very Great Lady and Her Son at Home", and "A Victorian Fable (with Glossary)". They're not nearly as good as the handful of later ones I've read, but I enjoyed seeing some signs of her future style. "A Victorian Fable" was also really interesting in a technical sense.

*I put the cover of the whole book, although those three only form a section of it, just to make this more manageable.

COMICS COMICS COMICS

I'll just list here runs I set out to start and finished. Sometimes that means "reading every appearance of character X", sometimes "reading everything author Y did in this volume", sometimes "this one specific issue-long plot", sometimes it's a run properly speaking.

DC Speechless. Really cute run. Just some popcorn to the brain that you can chill with.

Robin: Year One. A re-read. Sometimes Chuck Dixon writes well. I absolutely don't have to hand it to him though.

The Judas Contract. A staple and a must-read if you're interested in these characters. Tara Markov's characterisation is sure. Something that happened. But unintentionally on the part of the writers, very, very interesting. And I loved reading Joey's introduction! Ngl, I lowkey ship him with Dick. I lowkey ship Dick with a lot of people lol.

Superman: Lost. This run is more interesting in a meta sense than a properly narrative one. I'll have to mull over it.

Oracle: Year One (The Batman Chronicles #5). Another re-read. BTW, it's already suspect that Robin: Year One has FOUR issues (and Nightwing: Year One SIX), AND JOKER IS GOING TO HAVE THREE, but Oracle: Year One is like, 18 pages within a random issue of a Batman-adjacent comic ñlaksdjf. She deserved something longer and plottier. BUT. Those 18 pages are near perfect and a must-read to all DC fans.

The Next Batman: Second Son. About Timothy "Jace" Fox, who was Batman for a little while. I was curious, and it's a really short read (the issues are more webtoon-length than usual comics length). It was fine, but I had set out to read it before I was like, 99% done with Prime Earth lol. I wouldn't read it now and I doubt I'll continue his journey. Sorry Jace, you were alright.

Nightwing/Huntress. Loved it. Gave me a new ship. A bit heavy-handed at times (Devin Grayson's writing gains a lot more subtlety later on), but I still loved it. And the art is gorgeous.

Batman & Son (Batman #655-658). AKA a reread of Damian's introductory arc. Morrison will have to answer for their crimes against Talia lol, but I wanted a refresher.

JLA/Titans. I'd say the same re: Devin's writing (and I'd say the same about the next in the list), but it was also a really enjoyable read. Very long, lots of characters and moving parts, lots of POWER OF FRIENDSHIP Titans stuff but they're messy as fuck (as proved by the continuation of this plot in...).

Titans #1-20, aka Devin's run. LOVED IT. They are SO messy, SO interesting, SO fun to read. The exact opposite of the current Titans run, if you ask me lmao. The character concepts alone... *chef's kiss*.

Devin Grayson's Nightwing run. Oh, this is a controversial one (yes, this one includes the infamous #93, but you have to analyse it in context)... but I adored it. Grayson's writing matured for this one, it's a lot more nuanced, it doesn't lead you by the hand. It was extremely compelling, maybe one of the most compelling storyarcs I've read in DC comics. And ofc, it was cut short and interrupted in an abrupt way by editorial meddling smh. @ dc, fight me.

Far From the Tree (Batman: Gotham Knights #15). I read this one because I wanted a taste for Tim's characterisation under certain circumstances. It's good. Bruce is an ass during it xD

[freebooter4ever]

If you weren't actually meaning to open a convo on the all star game feel free to ignore this!

But I think it just has a lot to do with how the all star weekend involves a ton of media so even if they enjoy the game/events themselves there's a lot of strings attached. Like all your coworkers are posting vacation photos, and you may have even been on vacation with them, but you had to cut yours short to work. Sure the office is also throwing a party but it just isn't quite the same as having those days off.

lol!!! Well its not really a discussion on my part because i will just never be able to understand the player's perspective, but i find it fascinating to hear explanations of why the players dont like it - partially because i wonder if the league was a little more "hip", if it could be salvaged.

For one thing, for some of us salary challenged people 'vacation' is not really a thing - i always used my time off to go home and visit my grandparents. Though quite honestly i'd rather hang out with grandma for five days doing nothing but puzzles than sit on a beach doing nothing for five days. When i lived and worked on the east coast i spent most of the year missing my grandparents and the pacific northwest and wishing i was there, so naturally it was always the first place i went to when i got a chance. Im weird. And boring. I realize this.

Secondly, when i did work in education there was this yearly conference and pretty soon after i became in charge of the art department we started bringing the whole team to these conferences. It was the highlight of my year - im not even kidding, im that much of a nerd. I thought my team were the greatest people ever - a sort of found family if you will - and getting to be stuck for an entire weekend with them in some of the most boring cities the united states has to offer never failed to entertain. You know how when you're with people you love everything just feels more exciting? Even dumb shit like getting lost on the DC subway because the foodie of your group wants to try a very specific japanese restaurant thats in a far corner of the city on the opposite end of where the hotel is located. Or getting lost in Atlanta because we had to walk all over the old olympi*c grounds just to see some old stadium so the sports fans in our group could take a photo. Actually now that i think about it most of our outings involved getting lost while walking places. Im not even going to go into detail about the more boring cities because im embarrassed to admit that i found even the most mundane events Really Exciting with these guys. I had a blast, this was the highlight of my LIFE, i dont have very many friends or get out much, lol. I miss those days. I see some of the team individually, like when i last visited pittsburgh, but its not the same as being trapped in a random city and having to entertain yourselves during the off hours when you're not giving presentations. These conferences were also the only time i ever experienced Popularity. Being able to sit in a hotel lobby and have people come up to me, because they recognized me (or my team) was a blast. This is the ideal scenario for a shy person who loves talking to people but cant start a conversation to save my life. I did not care that most of these fans were educators over 40, they all had interesting stories and hearing them talk about using our program helped me come up with new things to implement next so it was a win-win. I also shamelessly used this time to do research on the history of our team. The group peaked in the 90s/2000s and it was really easy to get the older members to start talking about those days. i could probably write a book with everything i learned over the years. except not because even education nerds have scandal. the thing i always found is that if a person seems boring its just cause you haven't asked them the right questions yet.

There was one instance of a guy my age who came up to me and turned out to know the sculpting program i used, and was canadian so we had the whole pacific northwest thing in common, so after the con was over for the day the two of us went out on the town alone. And stayed out till like 2am, not doing anything wild (we visitd tourist sites! We bought smoothies!) i believe we ended up hanging out on an empty playground and talking philosophy, but im pretty sure that was the closest i will ever get to having a one night hookup. The hookup part did not happen because i was too shy to invite him back to my hotel room, and he was staying in a buddhist temple because it was the cheapest housing available and he was a broke grad student studying machine learning and art. I still remember that night, that was the Best night, partially because it was so unexpected and a random happenstance meeting of two strangers who would normally never come together.

Aaaaaall that said, i do realize we are talking about hockey players here who i imagine are maybe not the best conversationalists, and maybe would much rather be sleeping on a beach somewhere. And most of them are probably not the creative type to make exploring a city new or interesting no matter how many times you've been there. (with the exception of sid*ney cro*sby who as we all know is excellent at scavenger hunts). So all right, yeah, maybe i too wouldn't relish the idea of being stuck in a city with a whole bunch of hockey bros.

I also imagine its very different asking someone like sid if he enjoys the all*star game versus asking some player who isnt the best in the league and maybe just got there because of a voting fluke or the rest of his team is just shitty, and is maybe fairly new to the league and this is his first time going, and holy shit he's sitting next to sid at breakfast. Cmon theres got to be at least one guy having that experience even if they would never admit it because its uncool to fangirl.

[tori-artemis]

To anyone who may be following me, to any of my mutuals who happen to see this,

I've posted a few articles about Iran, because I've become increasingly concerned about the situation over there. There was legislature proposed last July about a permanent internet shutdown, and as feared, it really looks like the Islamic Republic of Iran has since pushed it into law, or they're about to, despite having many Iranian citizens opposed to it.

There have been many protests in Iran over the insane increases made to prices of food products such as wheat and dairy, going far back since the beginning of May up til now, and not only has the government shut down the internet entirely during those weeks, but it's also been "cracking down" - as in, beating protesters on the street, throwing tear gas at them, and even opening fire at them (gun shots were heard).

And the internet shutdowns make it nearly impossible for Iranians to post videos documenting this on social media, and expose the regime's corruption and abuse of power. Their internet is heavily monitored by the govt. - certain websites are outright banned (such as Tumblr). They're not allowed to post their own opinions, or anything pro LGBTQIA, let alone even the slightest criticism of the regime, and the punishments they face for doing so are extremely severe. Against-human-rights-level-of-severe. As of now, these people are literally being silenced.

Before I continue, I just want to state that I don't know everything that's happening over there, far from it in fact - this is just from what I've read, and I might even have gotten a few details wrong. It's why I've been posting links to various articles, because I'd rather not have people solely take my very limited knowledge on the situation. If you can, please read some of the articles I've posted, or look into Iranian current news on your own.

If anyone is wondering about why I'm writing about something happening across the world from where I live: well, for one, this is something we should all probably get into the habit of doing, if only because Iranian people deserve our attention. So many posts were made about Ukraine and the devastating war over there, and rightly so, but Iranians are no less important than Ukrainians, and what's being done to them by their own government is genuinely horrific. Awareness needs to be brought to what's happening in Iran right now, we all should be spreading this as much as we can.

But another reason why I'm writing this is because... I know there have been many Iranians who have used Tumblr. Despite the regime's control, despite the banning of this site and many others. Iranian people have been on Tumblr, have been within our fandoms. Have played a huge part in those fandoms. There's a high chance you're following an Iranian person's blog right now, or are even mutuals with some. There are Iranian people who have posted beautiful fan art and written deep, poignant fanfiction. Iranian people who have written the most insightful meta of your favorite movies, shows, and characters that you've ever read. You're probably subscribed to them on AO3. And if you're like me - you've probably befriended them.

Which brings me to the heart of why I'm writing this at 2 am in the morning - bc they're not just random people on the other side of the globe - they're our friends! They're our favorite writers, and artists, and even outside of fandom, there's a chance you may have interacted with them, joked with them, sent them asks, shared shit posts and memes with each other. There's a high chance you know an Iranian person on this site, and you may have even noticed that they haven't posted in a while.

Because they can't. Because they're literally being silenced right now.

And what's the point of being on this site, what's the point of befriending all of these amazing people if we aren't even going to... make an effort to see how they're actually doing? To spread awareness to the infuriating injustices they're facing right now? Bring a light to all of the horrible things this damned regime is doing to them? Especially when they are literally being forcefully prevented from doing so at this time. We can't just ignore them now, while they're being silenced by a totalitarian regime.

And tbh... I'm not sure if this will actually impact anything in the end. I don't know if this will actually help them, I don't know if spreading the word will even do anything. I'm almost afraid that it might not. But it's the least we can do. Instead of just remaining blissfully ignorant, or worse - apathetically shrugging it off and just going about our day. We should at least try... we owe it to them to at least try, if nothing else.

We owe it to the people of Iran.

We owe it to our friends.

[featheredadora]

KeyWe Review!

For those of you wondering why I've just posted some fancily dressed kiwi art out of nowhere, here's the game review to go along with it!

I've been playing KeyWe recently, and it's a fantastic little birb game!

I really love co-op games, and Overcooked is one of my 3 favourite games of all time. If you loved Overcooked, you'll love KeyWe too!

This game has so much heart and character - the little kiwis (and other background characters) are adorable, the level design is charming, and there are loads of cute costume pieces and skins to decorate your kiwi with.

But the gameplay is where KeyWe really shines in my opinion. There are 36 main levels, and while there are broadly four 'types', almost every level feels entirely different even mechanically - you definitely won't feel the game is lacking variety. To be honest, my only real 'criticism' is that I would have happily had a few more 'clones' of levels, simply because I enjoyed them so much (e.g there is only one level where you make cookies, one level where you search for the correct arts and craft parts, etc - I would have loved more!)

Each level feels completely new and fresh, and most importantly fun! While still giving you all the guidance you need so that you never feel lost. I actually think the difficulty is pretty perfect - if you are happy just completing the levels, they're pretty easy, so even people who find videogames challenging can still get through the game and access all the content. But if you wanna gold rank them all? Oh man! I haven't even gold ranked them all yet!

Similarly, there are lots of little collectables to find by doing little secret puzzles within certain levels. This is a fantastic addition! If you want a bit of a challenge, you can try to find them all on your own (We managed all but 3). Or, you can use your in-game points to buy up to 3 hints per collectable, meaning you don't have to miss out on this part of the game if you're struggling.

But wait, there's more! In addition to the 36 main levels, there are 9 bonus levels. Each of these 9 levels is tons of fun (except the dang music one!), another chance to challenge yourself to get gold-rank, and a way to earn extra in-game points to buy outfits for your kiwi. (The music level is fine actually, we just really struggled to get the gold!)

Honestly, as someone who replays the whole of Overcooked (that's the first and second games, and all of the DLC) about 3 times a year, KeyWe is exactly what I was looking for to fill the void in my heart while I wait for Overcooked 3, and is a fantastic game in its own right that deserves praise even beyond the Overcooked comparison. I'd definitely recommend it!

[goldicthehedgefox]

I told myself I'd turn this into a tradition, so here I am throwing all my art in one place again.

All the art featured here is what I had on my art flash drive since that's mainly how I keep track of when I drew what.

Explanations for all the boxes under the cut:

January: Ok, so, turns out I didn't draw shit in January except a fun little doodle of Goldic (the character) fighting one of my friend's ocs. Not gonna throw it down here because it was for a friend. (I also never finished that one thing I was eluding to in the last progression post, big sadge; it would've been so funny if I finished that, or at least enough of it so I could put the other half at the start of this one)

February: Ah yes, playing Uno with Silent Magician and Silent Swordsman. The best way to spend Valentine's Day, tbh. Oh yeah, the GoldicSoulless emote also came into existence.

March: Oops, didn't draw anything. And if I did, I doubt any of it was Tumblr-worthy.

April: Oops, I did it again. I just didn't feel like drawing around that time. It was a nice art break, I guess.

May: Back to drawing and I... didn't draw much, but I did draw a redesign for Moon! ...That I never shared until now:

I also designed regional variants of Riolu and Lucario for fun (and for my fake region, Avnou, that you don't get to hear any infodumps about yet, I'll share that when it's more "complete"; Riolu is Ghost type while Lucario is Ghost/Ground):

and here's the shinies, hehehe (click to see the sparkles better):

June: PRIDE MONTH, WOOOOOOOO- *ahem*, I drew a lot of shit in Pride Month, like: - Me holding my giant af flag made of multiple flags - Note and Symph being cute and gay - Mew and Mewtwo designs for the comic I didn't make yet - A bunch of Pikachu sketches for no reason in particular - and this as a little treat for myself since Sonic's Game Anniversary and my b-day are so close together (literally two days apart):

July: My current profile pic was drawn here, as well as a new (and currently unfinished) ref sheet for Goldic! Here's what is done right now:

though, I'm tempted to just redo it again with all the improvements I've made to my art since drawing this...

August: I just drew a bunch of doodles around this time, tbh. I even colored a couple of them. Also drew Angora again:

Beyond that? Nothing of note.

September: Cyno. Just Cyno. Definitely my best attempt at soft shading in recent memory. Also, you're not tripping, I did design an Ash (and Goh) for that Mewtwo comic I didn't make yet (Ash's design is a mix of his Unova and Journeys designs with some creative freedom mixed in; Goh's ref isn't done yet, but he does have a doodle here!):

Friendly Reminder that Ash has Aura Powers™ and Lucario, the Aura Pokémon, can read people's thoughts (just in case someone wonders why Ash seems to read Goh's thoughts in the above image):

October: I... didn't draw shit in October, but I did draw some all-digital doodles with my mouse! (because no art tablet, lol); I can't share most of it because Angst and NSFW™, but I can share what I haven't shared already:

November: I also didn't draw shit in November, but when I did, I made two whole characters: a catboy (Kitari) and a duelist, yu-gi-oh style, that I didn't share yet (Yune). Fun Fact: Yune is the first Yu-Gi-Oh oc I've ever made, despite loving the series for years, and all I have to show him off is a colored headshot and some messy sketches:

Outfit design isn't final yet, but hey. He exists. Yes, the scarf (and hair) will stay.

December: S Q U A R E - The Puyo Puyo Brainrot returned and so did me drawing Squares. I also drew a bunch of emotes for Kitari (of which only half are done) and another little something that I'll share later~

Overall: - Very productive year in terms of art improvement (mainly anatomy and color choice; character design quality has also improved a lot) - More brainrot fanart than in previous years - Less art overall, but more got shown off - 10/10 quality (compared to older art), hell yeah

[lunastarseeker]

I've realized that I've laughed a lot in the past week, and it's been so long since I've been able to do that.

It's not like I was depressed or anything, I just didn't really have anything to laugh at or be excited about. Maybe I was tired, at least tired enough that the kind of videos I watch and content I consumed just didn't feel as funny as it used to.

But after going to a convention at the tail end of March, and tuning in for as much of the HC charity event as I could, and watching Matt Rose and Failboat for the first time in a while, and getting into and out of bed earlier, and finally starting school again, well, I think it's pretty nuts how the little things can make a difference.

And I didn't realize it then, but before the convention, I can't remember the last time I wholly, truly laughed. Like, verbal cackling and guffaws and teary eyes and running out of breath and keeling over as your stomach hurts from all of it.

And I'd also forgotten how good it feels.

I think that I've really taken happiness for granted, because I assumed that normalcy and the feeling of being "fine" was a form of happiness. But actual happiness is wonderful, and it's usually not hard to find if you're able to look for it. It could be as simple as watching a comedian you like, or making a piece of art, or baking something. It could also be as simple as opening your window and listening to the rain. It could even just be replaying a game you loved that you haven't touched in a long time.

Another thing I'd forgotten was how much energy you get from laughter, and the wonderful relaxed feeling you get once the boost fades. I think I finally understand why they say "laughter is the best medicine".

And one more thing: Writing this reminded me of my New Years Resolution, which if you're reading this, you might like.

"To be a crow is to find joy in the little things. This year I want to be like a crow." (Resolution inspired by the Crow Time comics)

I think I'm gonna post this as a kind of time capsule for myself. I actually just finished watching Failboat's newest video, in which I nearly threw up from laughing so hard, and I don't want to forget that.

I'm gonna go be a crow :D

[petenicholls]

Pete.ink Weekly for Week 3 of June 2022

Welcome to the 3rd week of ink from Pete.ink (and me, Pete Nicholls) for June of 2022!

Monday, June 13, 2022

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Fixing FROZEN: My first "Here, Let Me Help" Movie Review.

Eight years ago, I wrote my first "How I'd" style move review. Go read it and see how I'd have made Frozen a better movie!

Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Thursday, June 16, 2022

I posted nothing! But I was busy on other content that you will see soon. Also, Thursday night I saw stop-motion maestro, Phil Tippett's new film, Mad God in the theater. It took him 30 years to make. Keep an eye out for a critique of Mad Godon ScriptDrPete.com probably next week. In a nutshell, it's the ugliest, most depressing work of cinematic art I've seen since Man Bites Dog--a movie I don't recommend you watch because, while it's kind of brilliant, it's very depressing and will make you want to use bleach to disinfect your soul. Mad God definitely did not make me feel that way (Mad God is actually quite beautiful in how ugly it is), though I was very happy to see the new Lightyear movie the following night. Lightyear I heartily recommend as it was fun, wonderful, scifi and a Pixar film--which means you'll definitely enjoy it and, if you're like me, likely cry two-to-three times.

Friday, June 17, 2022

Another week, another week(ish) of content! Hope you are enjoying the weekly updates. Do you miss the daily updates? Let me know what you think!

Thanks so much for reading, your support, and your money (if you are supporting financially)! Please share my work, this issue of Pete.ink/weekly or anything else I post with your friends/family! This is literally how you will help me build an audience and if enough of you get paid subscriptions/memberships/etc, how I'll pay my rent and bills. No one does anything alone, after all. Thanks again for reading all the way to the end! If you haven't been, why are you cheating? Go back and consume all of it! You've earned it after, all!

-Pete!

[roostertuftart]

south park asks for u: 18. Take a moment to talk about your favorite ship.

21. Do you have a favorite adult? If so, who?

23. What was the first piece of content you created for the South Park fandom?

(no pressure to do all 3, feel free to choose any amount!!!)

18. Take a moment to talk about your favorite ship.

My favorite dynamic between two characters is Style!! I've always been a sucker for best friends to lovers and I love how devoted these two are together, as well as how much they've been through and how much they need each other- It's not the healthiest dynamic in that regard, their codependence isn't always the best, but I think that's part of the fun of the ship and I like to think as they get older, they work out a lot of their issues and become a lot healthier with time (Though they're about at the level of your average couple now, no relationship is perfect). I also really like how easy it is to take Stan and Kyle and put them in any number of dynamics or situations or AUs- I always tend to stick with them knowing each other since childhood personally but they work work well as a couple that just met and fell in love as well, and there's loads you can do with both of those as well as the canon material from the show.

My favorite ship of all has to be Stendylenny. It's a super rare poly ship that I actually hadn't seen before my friends and I started shipping it, but I've seen it begin to spread slightly which makes me EXTREMELY happy! It's a poly between Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Wendy. I really love all of them shipped one on one so putting them all together just makes sense for me!! I could talk about this ship a lot but I don't even know where to start, it's just fun imagining the different scenarios that got these four together, and I feel like it could happen pretty easily. I think ships with both Wendy and Kenny are severely underrated in this fandom and I also just really like good old fashion style and stendy ofc. There's just a really good mix of dynamics with the four of them.

21. Do you have a favorite adult? If so, who?

Sheila Broflovski for sure. She is, in my opinion, the best parent in the show besides side character parents who haven't existed long enough to be in a conflict, and is just a generally good person. I can see why characters in the show are annoyed by her actions and how she can be overbearing and pushy, but she's a fantastic mom who listens closely to her sons and really tries to do what's best for them, as well as what's best for others around her. She's also shown to be fairly kind to other people even if she has her moments, and is honest and fair to her friends (She needs better ones). She also doesn't take shit from almost anyone.

A big part of this from me might be projection because my mom is pretty similar to her (Heavy jersey accent and all) but fuck it IDC Sheila best adult.

I also like Mr. Garrison a lot but only bc he's funny af

23. What was the first piece of content you created for the South Park fandom?

So a while back, three or four years ago, my friend Starby was into South Park. I was not. I, in fact, happened to sort of,, judge her for her interests, even if I was playful about it. Anyway, one day I was trying to include them in this one RP that was a cartoon crossover, except all of the characters were cats (It's a bizarre concept but my RPs tend to be a little crazier and more self indulgent than the stuff I post) and they wanted to roleplay as Butters since he's her favorite. So my first actual South Park fan work that I ever created is this really old, ugly design for him as a cat that I completely forgot about until about a week ago:

My art has obviously improved immensely since I made this and, if you're wondering, the RP never even really happened. I've actually made a new design for Butters since then, not even remembering this old one existed at all, that I greatly prefer (though I may still update it)! This is it:

My first intentional South Park fanart was also characters as cats, it's the main four's designs: