#Imagine just going up these random parents and telling them their kids aren't REALLY their kids

[silverydragonheart-blog]

Dcxdp au where danny and jazz are clones of Jack and maddie that they made because their infertile and went with the next best choice obviously

The bats find a kid who's DNA pings for Lazarus water and cloning

[dotster001]

i was gonna make this a comment but smthn told me this was gonna be long.

SORRY FOR THE LONG-NESS OF THIS ASK

BUT DOT- THINK ABOUT YAN DILF JADE.

who knows if his ex wife was murdered or not, oh well! 🤭 best not to dwell on it because it makes the twins sad :(

see? (🧍🏻🧍🏻)

…anyways

but here me out (this is me going coco bananas. full on psycho mode) maybe the first time he saw you was at a RANDOM party that a friend of yours hosted.

blah blah mutual friend of a friend and that long friend family tree stuff

but maybe you slithered away to the dog, or were tasked with helping a baby (more like someone threw the baby at you in order to dance)

or you’re with the other room for the children that the party provides (this is like a really rich friend. like mega mansion. crazy rich asians kinda thing)

but ugh he’s there with his dreadful beautiful wife and his wonderful children. and his wife is already leaving to grab a drink and he thinks their children shouldn’t get a glimpse at whatever tom-foolery parties like these will lead to.

so in they go! (maybe this was years ago when they’re toddlers)

but then he sees you swarmed with babies. the nanny took a break and left you in charge and you’re fighting back babies with one of those roll-pop lawn mowers-

ARGHHH ONE JUST SPAT ON THE END OF YOUR RENTAL DRESS DAMNIT.

jade is utterly beside himself with laughter, amusement, and everything of the sorts and creates flirty small talk. and oh?? what's this? his wonderful bundles of joy seem to have found a liking to you? how precious (they’re clawing and climbing you like a jungle gym) jade takes a note of that!

they don't even like their mother that much , simply tolerating her. but jade can tell that his kids got good taste!

he lowkey interviews reader (without them know oops!!) and while yes, their beauty was what drove his interest, second being their personality (you have to be attracted to someone to give them a chance!)

and the twins were the cherry on top!

and conveniently you say where you work (rookie mistake) while he tells you he’s a humble business man… don’t ask what for tho cause that’s a super family secret 🤭

but he's planning and scheming and charming his way into your life and he’s in it for the long run because eels are patient. it just sucks that jade is even more patient, like a saint if you would

^^accurate depiction of saint jade

^^and this is jade when he gets questioned for his wife’s uh oh 🤷🏻🤷🏻

maybe she drank too much at a party and fell over the side.

maybe there was a targeted hit meant for jade but they got the wrong one.

maybe a classic batman scenario but jade survived and is throughly traumatized (same with his kids, i mean look at them!!🧍🏻🧍🏻 they’re so torn up that it just breaks his heart😿)

but he’s making chance encounters rather… commonly. (he had reader stalked for a good few years as he was planning everything. just to make sure he likes them& they keep it interesting.)

just... some thoughts about dilf jade leech and his hell spawns hehe (when the trio visited your work they managed to leave your section alone... so it looks like you were in the eye of the hurricane)

im gonna read your other stuff about dilf jade now because AHHHH

Angry at my boss, so I decided to see if there was anything in my inbox to cheer me up. Woo hoo!

In reference to this

Cw: light Yan!, implied stalking, Jade's a freak but if you don't already know that then you aren't paying attention

I can only imagine that, after the party, since you interacted with so many kids and parents that night, they all kind of blurred together. And it's not until, after he visits your place of work, and you chat over text for a while, and you have a real date, then invites you back home for an after date drink, do you start to remember. And that's only because the twins are scamps and stayed up past their bedtimes, and they are staring at you with eyes you remember.

Obviously, you are gonna chalk it up to a coincidence. "Oh my god! You know so-and-so, right? I think I met you at a party a few years ago!" He laughs, and plays along, oh my god,.yeah what a really good coincidence.

Meanwhile, the twins share a look, because Dad has talked about you every day since Mom died, so they know he's lying. Hell, when you aren't here, they already call you mama/papa. But, they are their father's kids, so they are never going to say anything.

One date turns to two turns to three, turns to a year of dating. It's time to meet the family. You know Jade has a twin, but they've taken different paths in life.

So when Dilf Floyd Trudges up the driveway with his six adopted kids, four of whom are sprinting around the house and lawn and destroying Jade's home, two of whom are under Floyd's arms like suitcases, you're in for a culture shock.

When you first meet him, he seems incredibly grumpy. He's got salt and pepper stubble, the baggiest outfit, though you get the feeling it's designer, no matter how slouchy it is, his hair is slicked back, making the grey streaks look neat against his otherwise messy look.

He tosses the kids and yells at them to go play with their cousins, then he rudely shoves past you. Jade stops him with a hand on his shoulder that appears gentle, but if you had felt the full force of it, you'd have landed on your ass. He hissed at Floyd, through a smile, to greet his new fiance. There's a tense moment where they stare at each other, then Floyd storms over to you, and presses a ticklish kiss to your cheek, before muttering, "Welcome to the family," then storming to his room and locking himself in for the night.

The next day it's like he's a different person. He makes breakfast for you and excitedly asks you about yourself, wanting to know everything about his future sibling. Eventually he pours you a glass of what you know is Jade's most expensive wine, which he has been saving for a special occasion, and you finally get the courage to ask about the night before, and he laughs and says he was tired from the trip. Wrangling six kids on an airplane is exhausting, you know?

You decide to ask him about little Jade, and Floyd's stories of childhood charm you so much that you don't notice Jade's brooding presence.

Not that Floyd minds. Yeah, he got off to a rough start with you, but he gets why Jade likes you. And Jade only has two parentless kids, he has six. So his kids need you more than Jade's do, right?

Will the dad's eventually drag the kids into this fight? Absolutely. Those kids have Mafia parents, they have plenty of acting training. They will be pulling those heartstrings of yours 😊

[matan4il]

911 ep 705 first watch reactions

Of course 911 would "punish" the "You are the boss of you!" guy with an alien hand that attacks him, and does what it wants. Pooor Buck and Eddie paying the price for that...

Okay, love the storyline with Hen and Karen possibly eventually adopting an older girl. Too many shows just find easy, unrealistic ways to give their same sex couples kids, and I am really glad that 911 shows the reality of it, and that it is a more complex struggle for many, that it's an act of continuously choosing to be parents. That's actually an amazing, difficult thing, and it should be faithfully depicted and respected, for all of its heartache, and the little moments of triumph.

Buck and Tommy on a date, and Eddie comes along with Marisol? Love how Buck's bisexual awakening and coming out continues to involve Eddie so much. Tell me they're end game, even if they're not gonna get together right now, without telling me they're...

I did not need to learn Marisol is moving in with Eddie like this, with any build up, or even any sort of insight into the relationship, and nope, that does not bode well for them. IDK how 911 managed to do it, but they have somehow managed to give Eddie a love interest the show is even less invested in than Ana.

And the funniest bit, is that Marisol and Eddie's big development is only there to further Buck's journey anyway.

"You can never have too much closet space" LMAO the way 911 both made me laugh, and feel sorry for poor, baby bi Buck. XD

Hmmm. Were parts of this scene cut out? We don't get to see Eddie on his own date with Marisol, but constantly looking over at Tommy and Buck? Boo. I'm glad we at least got the BTS photos, then. But seriously, why!? That was gonna be so delicious.

Oh, Tommy's breaking up with Buck. I mean, good for him, and he ain't wrong after Buck's "after this, we're gonna go out looking for chicks" reaction, but man do I feel sorry for Buck. Him and Tommy might not be my end game (Buddie forever will be), but I do think this relationship could be good for our baby bi. Tommy being in the same profession, knowing what it's like to have this gap between who you are and the image of guys in your line of work, plus he's got more experience than Buck, is sure of himself, can help our boy figure himself out, and also Buck obviously does like his vibe. He deserves to be with someone he actually likes, not just the first woman willing to be with him that the plot pushed in his way.

Oh, baby Buck. :( You didn't even tell Maddie about Tommy. You really aren't ready it. But also (and as a Buddie shipper, more importantly), Tommy broke things off with Buck, but what is eating him up, is that he lied to Eddie. XD Yeah, this gonna end with wedding bells, sooner or later. On screen, off screen after the show ends with canon Buddie, or only in my head if 911 never dares make Buddie canon, I don't care. That kind of emotional devotion is not something that my hopelessly romantic heart can ignore.

OMG, this is how Buck comes out to Maddie? XD Via random pronoun mention, and as a by product of trying to figure out how to tell Eddie the truth? This is hilarious. lol It really makes it clear that, after all, the issue for Buck really isn't people knowing he is also dating guys (or checking their asses), even when it's the other closest person in the world for him, it's Eddie. Specifically. Buck's ready, even if he doesn't have the exact clear words yet, he's just not ready to tell Eddie. Can't imagine why. XDDD

What was that awkward post-sex scene with Eddie and Marisol? And the issues with her moving in are popping up a second after she has. But yeah, we have no idea who this woman is as a person, she's been a cardboard cut out so far, and then one of the first things we do learn about her, is that she would call her stuff better than Eddie's? Once again, this is not the stuff great romance is made of. Or... even just the stuff any kind of romance is made of.

Wait, Marisol was a nun, and Eddie didn't even know!? This whole ep is telegraphing in the news of how weird and awkward and underdeveloped this r/s is, not just for us as viewers who know nothing about Marisol, but apparently for Eddie as well.

And of course his Catholic guilt is gonna kick in now. I'd care, except 911 has given me absolutely no reason to. Seriously, I care more about Buck and Tommy after just 2 eps, than Eddie and Marisol, even though this is technically her 2nd season on the show.

Of course Buck went to find Eddie, and spotted him at the gym. Forever 201 vibes, with Eddie being the focus of Buck's attention. ^u^

I couldn't care less about Eddie's Catholic guilt crisis, and how it's actually a projection of what his real issues are with Marisol, but it's nice to see that as always, Buck's the one who can tell when something's off, and offer Eddie exactly what he needs (even when that's to talk to someone else, but Buck figures out immediately who the right person to address is), and then they just very naturally switch, because Eddie can also tell when something's off with Buck, and he wants to tell him something. Soulmates. THAT is the stuff that great romance IS made of.

:/ The imagery of Catholic nuns has not been around for over 2,000 years, please stop being ignorant about your own religion, and the very different way it looked in its early days.

Bobby is forgiven, he does give good advice, and his "her ex, the Lord" bit, which prompted that reaction from Eddie, is hilarious. XD

So... when Eddie is having issues with Marisol, he already knows he has to figure out how he feels about her, but instead of doing so, he goes to his safe place... Buck's loft.

Man, Eddie being into Tommy's choice of avoidning relationships with women, and hanging out with boys, after in the past, Eddie had dealt with his Shannon issues by running away from her, and re-enlisting in the army, where he gets to hang out with boys, when we all (Buck included) know why Tommy's "hanging out with boys"... I do like that if they want to (and hopefully they do), this further lays the groundwork for Eddie's own queer realization.

Buck and Eddie helping each other with their respective romantic problems, without realizing they are each other's respective romantic solution is gonna make me chew on my own fists. Again. But I'm not even a little bit surprised that Eddie was totally fine and accepting of Buck being bi, or that the first thing he thought of is how this reflects on them. Because their friendship IS way deeper and closer than normal for platonic friends, and Eddie's little reassurance is also an admission of that.

Man, for a second I was worried they also cut out Eddie in the loft, once more putting his thumb on Buck's pulse point possessively, in a perfect parallel to 303. I would have sued for emotional damages. But yeah, it says so much that the peak of emotional meaningfulness for Buck when coming out is in relation to Eddie, and that the scene itself peaks with Eddie, instead of finishing rushing out to take care of his own romantic business, hurries back to Buck first, to hug him, place his hand on Buck and give him orders. "Sure, you're gonna be dating this guy, but I'm still your real husband."

Well, at least Eddie amitted to himself and Marisol that he doesn't actually know her. But... I have never seen two people being both being so happy about not moving in together, and I'm supposed to think this r/s has a chance? Okay. Suuuure.

The scene with Buck going to Tommy to set things straight ready for something was lovely, it was nice seeing him excited, and get to choose, and hear he's wanted. But since the note Tommy and Buck's storyline in this ep should have ended on, is Buck showing Tommy he's ready enough to let others know he's dating a guy by inviting Tommy to come with Buck to Madney's wedding, then why is the very next scene playing the romantic switch again, making us think Buck's car just arrived at the wedding with him and Tommy, only for Buck and Eddie to walk in together? I see what you did there, 911.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

🌻kai anderson boyfriend headcanons 🌻

kai anderson x hippie!reader

a/n: following up from my moodboard here 🧡💛

🧡 definitely feeds into his cult delusions tbh (you know with the whole manson family thing going on)

💛 which isn't the case but let's probably not say that to kai. if he ever asks, yes, that was what you were going for lmao

🧡 kai secretly loves your style, it's so different from his. he loves the cliche opposites attract scenario and that's a hill i will die on thank you very much

💛 wears your bracelets under his clothes so that he always has a part of you with him - not like he'd ever show it to the cult though let's be real

🧡 if he's feeling particularly generous, which is probably when he wants something from you, he will gift you with a bracelet or a necklace or something along those lines - he says it adds to your 'aesthetic'

💛 kai absolutely loves how free spirited you are - you follow your own rules and live every day like your last

🧡 this is until you ignore something he tells you to do and then he doesn't like it at all lmao, man is one contradictory bitch

💛 kai lives for getting high with you - he'd never admit it but late nights in his basement with you is his favourite thing

🧡 probably slips things into your drinks every now and then...

💛 but if you catch him, no you didn't

🧡 if your hair is long enough to braid, kai will be the first one to volunteer to do it for you. he's surprisingly really good at it and it helps relax him after a stressful meeting

💛 would probably manipulate you into joining his 'cause' because it's kai, so let's not kid ourselves

🧡 he's convinced if you had children they would grow up with the best parents ever (he has a god complex, okay? okay)

💛 like think about it, cult leader father and a hippie mother? Best combo in my opinion

🧡 but realistically it's like the 60s all over again lmao

💛 will constantly play with the rings on your hands - most of the time he doesn't even know he's doing it tbh

🧡 honestly, i think kai just loves your hands in general. for him they're feminine and delicate

💛 they look even better wrapped around his throat... okay swiftly moving on...

🧡 this never fails to make you smile, you always see the side of kai that nobody else does which is something you're thankful for

💛 as much of an ass kai is, he would never dream of hurting you. at most, a little silver tongue manipulation here and there but that's about it (and the fact he knows you'd absolutely deck him)

🧡 winter adores you - she thinks you're the best thing that has ever happened to kai, even reminding her what he was like before the cult

💛 if anyone, anyone, dare looks at you strangely for the way you dress, let's just say you'll probably never hear from them again after kai hears about it

🧡 possessive level 100/10 - you're his and he's yours

💛 now this is just an assumption so take it as you will, but i imagine you're probably not opposed to joining the cult (as a hippie i'm allowed to say this okay?)

🧡 surprisingly, kai actually really enjoys your music tastes and you will even find him humming along at random moments of the day

💛 never mention that you caught him though, it would seriously damage his ego

🧡 if you're ill, he'd probably bring you herbal teas to help soothe you

💛 as much of an asshole he is, he knows exactly what you like and remembers the little details

🧡 "i remembered that you only drink chamomile after 8pm because it's easier on your stomach" type details 🥹

💛 the nicknames are endless - his favourites are definitely 'hummingbird' and 'dollface' but will probably call you 'moon child' as a joke (though we know he's probably dead serious)

🧡 along with other nicknames if you get me but some people just aren't ready for that convo yet lmao

💛 yeah fuck it, we're going there - sex would be amazing okay

🧡 half of your favourite songs you can't listen to without blushing anymore because kai deadass made a hippie playlist for you based on those songs

💛 "only the best for the messiah, dollface"

🧡 kai loves when you keep your skirts on, it's a major turn on for him - the whole process of bunching them up makes him feel some sort of way

💛 overall, morality wise -5/10, but as a boyfriend probably a solid 5/10

[spooky-circuits]

Ok but since it looks like Bruce is the first brother I have to know the Snack Pack's reactions when it comes out that Branch isn't just some Brozone fan, but is secretly the most popular member of the group! Spruc had been the heartthrob, no doubts about it, but Bitty B being so cute and adorable had made it so his popularity skyrocketed over Spruce, he just didn't have any weird contests like Spruce had.

Tangent aside, I imagine Branch won't be able to immediately go for the throat because he'll be too busy fighting back a panic attack. The Vaycationers aren't a threat, but for someone who's only experience with larger sentient races were Bergans, and a severe trauma caused by said Bergans, it's a bit difficult to tell that fact.

Bruce, on his end, would probably be equal parts delighted to see his baby brother with a group of friends... and completely and utterly terrified and concerned over this group of kids. I imagine he probably wasn't quite a father yet, or if he was, he didn't have nearly as many kids and was still new to being a parent. So, seeing his 14 year old baby brother suddenly show up out of nowhere and be GRAY, with a group of half starved children following after him, well, it doesn't paint a pretty picture.

Bruce is in the middle of a lunch rush at the cantina when Bruce Jr runs up to him asking for a menu for his new friends. It isn’t an odd occurrence Bruce Jr has a bad habit of introducing himself to random tourists and bringing them by with the expectation that the food would be paid for. He doesn’t want to crush that generous spirit but him and Brandy are running a business and he needs to remind his son of that. He turns to hand him the menus (they could still be actual customers he isn’t going to be rude) and sees his son standing with a group of cowering troll teens… What is happening? Are those pop trolls?! He hasn’t seen pop trolls in over a decade. He’s about to ask them some questions but realizes that if they’re pop trolls they probably don’t want to be doing this around vacationers. He hates to put his wife on the spot like this but he knows she’ll understand once he explains it to her afterwards “Hey Brandy I’ve got a situation here I’ll be right back! Steve watch the bar for me!” And herds the kids out onto the beach. “Okay first question where are your parents? Because you guys look rough so they clearly aren’t doing their job right.” There are a couple of offended cries from the group but Bruces attention is caught by a face with an intense stare that reminds him of his older brother right before a brawl would break out between the two of them. The rest of the group also seems to notice the shift in the grey trolls mood when they all seem to pull out. Old Brozone magazines? Oh the kids were fans “Okay look I’ll sign your magazines or whatever but I’m really trying to put the boy band stuff behind me okay?” The teens all perk up at this and turn to Branch “Oh wow it really is him! Isn’t that great Branch!” And Branch just charges at him only to get held back by Poppy’s hair wrapping around his limbs. Branch still manages to grab one of Bruces arms and is yelling stuff like “How could you! Do you even know who I am?!” When Bruce Jr grabs his dad and yanks him out of Branch’s grip it leaves scratch marks but he’s not seriously hurt. The Snack pack are all asking him questions like “What the hell Branch?” “I thought you were excited to meet him?” And Creek with his “Oh I knew he wasn’t a fan!”

Bruce is watching the grey troll get surrounded by his friends when he hears one call him Branch. But that can’t be right. Branch is supposed to be at home with their grandma and Floyd. Not here looking beat up and grey with no supervision in sight. “Branch?” He pats Bruce Jr’s hand to signal that it’s okay to put him down. “Branch what are you doing here?” There are a hundred questions going through his head seeing his baby brother but he could only get out the one that definitely didn’t come across like he meant for it to come across.

The rest of the snack pack can tell they’re missing something but no one dares to break the tension until Branch finally speaks up. “I don’t know..” Branch seems to go slack “I thought I wanted to beat you up and maybe make you regret leaving.. but I can see this was a mistake.” He looks at Bruce and looks at his son standing behind him the similarities are so striking when they’re next to each other it’s impossible to miss what they implied. “I guess you found a better family to actually stick around for.” And the words feel like they actually stab Bruce right in the heart at the implication. Bruce is fully aware of how he’s hurt Branch in that moment.

Branch tries to shake off his friends to make an attempt to run off so he doesn’t have to see his brother keep looking at him like that.

[cloudninetonine]

Reading the crossover stuff you've written for linked universe is rotting my head so much that it got me back into writing!!! (which is honestly a miracle I haven't written anything for myself in ages)

but like. I'm imagining a player's aid! insert who's also a big fan of Sky: Children of the Light (great game btw very fun with friends I recommend hehe)

and one day they just. find a random sky child????? In Hyrule??? so obviously since the sky child is all on their own where they really shouldn't be, mc just. adopts a kid. they can't really communicate well, if at all, except through very very exaggerated body language and gestures (emotes in the game is a common way to talk with strangers. or spam honking to get someone's attention. imagine the noise.) but eventually the player and the sky child become so close that they can just share looks or read each others body language and just know!

Wind has a new sibling now who is very happy to mess around and help play pranks on the others. The sky child wouldnt be afraid of Wolfie because they dont really have much reference for dangerous creatures except for the krill/dark dragons and Wolfie is too cute and small to scare them! Sky would probably really like them too because they can fly and they could be a really musically inclined sky child and be able to play different instruments! Like the harp in-game!! one of the links might find out about the child's arsonist related needs and be concerned, but the mc insists that the child is fine! Don't worry at all, Hyrule. They genuinely won't get any burns from standing directly on top of the campfire! they aren't a normal hylian child, they actually kinda need fire to stay alive and rain isn't good for them, it puts out their light. now I'm imagining angst with rain oh no-

the sky child (who would probably be a veteran who's been around a long time and was probably exploring out of bounds areas and somehow managed to get to Hyrule. whoops) is kinda confused but up for exploring this vast realm and find mc and they just. adopt this weird not-a-spirit-yet person who kind of has light too? so maybe a moth? (affectionate term for new players gicitdkgdigditdoyd)

and when the sky child first meets the chain, they are probably just freaking out over their clothes lol. cosmetics and basically dress up is a very big part of the game and the sky child would not be above begging to get their hands on their own really pretty blue scarf, black pelt, cool looking armour, etc etc.

So the sky child is super caring and protective over mc. they would probably bite legend at some point lmao. they can just sense the bad vibes from him! They don't really understand it, but legend doesn't like their moth, and obviously they won't stand for any slander so they bite :D (even if there could be a communication barrier because they can't speak the language, only HÖNK)

side note, I'm actually writing a crossover fic for linked universe and Sky:COTL. can you tell that i've been losing my mind over them??

Shameless plug in to my amazing friend @sketchyspook who has their very own Sky Linksona that y'all should check out!!

God I haven't played Sky in so long PIUFGP

Now back to the ask

I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH IT'S SO CUTE- Player adopts a little child is one of my favourite genres honestly. LET THEM BE A PARENT!!! Running around and trying to take care of their kids they're gonna be in aches and pains at the end of it all PIUGFPI

ALSO THE SKY CHILD BITING LEGEND I'M LAUGHING- REFUSING TO LET GO AND BEING SWUNG ABOUT AS PLAYER WATCHES WITH A SMIRK

Very happy after it all, sitting on Player's lap while Legend glares across the camp and they honk happily

[tleighblack]

Chay (what the hell is everyone thinking)

So the living situation with Chay is insane. It is definitely not good. I can't believe that they left Chay at that house alone this long. He can't know about the mafia but he can be left alone for weeks at a time without even a phone call.

I do agree with people when they talk about how much Porsche has protected him but I don't think he is quite the cream puff people make him out to be. This is a boy who lost his parents at a young age. He was raised by an uncle who apparently popped in between bouts of gambling and a brother who was still basically a kid himself.

As much as Porsche loves Chay he is also the type of guy who works at a bar, drinks like a fish, fucks random people in alleys, and participates in underground fighting rings for money. While he does his best to shelter Chay from the particulars, you know Chay has patched him up after a fight or put him to bed when he is exceptionally drunk. They just don't have anyone else.

And Chay has a lot of pressure on him too. His brother is obviously in too deep at the beginning of the show. Loan sharks showed up at the house to collect and trash the place. Chay recognizes that the situation is not good. He suggests getting a smaller place and him getting a job which is shut down hard by Porsche. So now he needs to try and be the best person possible. He needs to get into the program at school that Porsche has gone away to work so that they can afford it. He seems to be alone a lot. He doesn't have many friends. He needs to be upbeat and never complain because of all the sacrifices being made so that he can be the best version of himself.

Then he finds out that the one person that he loves more than anyone else, lied to him. And it's a big lie. It's a, "I've been so far away I can't visit or call hardly ever and I'm living my dream," lie. It's a clear statement of "you are a baby who can't be trusted with real problems" kinda lie. And that has got to hurt.

So yeah, Chay is angry. He has been holding up his part of the bargain in this deal of trying to be perfect and now he realizes that people aren't being honest.

All of his dreams were coming true. His brother has his dream job, and the bills are all being paid, he met his celebrity crush and got tutored by him.

Then against all logic he and Wik became friends. Wik tells him his real name and writes songs with him and gives him a guitar. He had an infatuation with Wik but then he fell in love with Kim. For him, it must have seemed like he was really getting to know Kim. And he was better than it could be predicated. Sweet and patient and cool and kind. And then he makes a deal with himself. If he gets into the program he will tell Kim how he feels. And he does! He is nervous and stuttering but he gets it out. And Kim makes all his dreams come true by kissing him. Then they spend the night together and it is so wonderful that he wants to cry looking at Kim.

So right now my heart is breaking because if he is hurt and angry with the brother that he knows loves him lying to him imagine the pain of finding out the first person you have fallen in love with is also a liar. And was using you to dig up info on your brother. Kim isn't just going to break his heart, he is going to shatter his dreams. His dreams of Wik and music and of life finally going his way. Chay said he always felt like an unlucky person. That the universe was against him and now it felt like it was worth it because it was saving it up to bring him Kim. Everything that had gone wrong in his life was because Kim was going to be the reward for suffering. And that has got to suck. Because now Chay is going to believe that he is the most unlucky person in the universe because who gets all their dreams handed to them just for them to be ripped away. They would have to be an awful person for that to be the way their life went.

So I am preparing for utter devastation right now.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Going to go cry in a corner now.

[watatsumiis]

hi general, passing by to send you some kisses /p

im handing you blankets (if the weather is cold where you are) and your favourite drink <3

might I ask you to tell us about any random hc you have about ayato? (for example, that he has lots of moles or that he has calloused hands because of how much paperwork he does) If not it's completely ok!

Hiya Lucas! It's great to see you in my inbox !! thank you for the blankets and drink, feeling very cozy right about now :> !!!!

This has been sitting in my inbox for a hot minute because I just haven't had much motivation to write, so sorry about that!

But Ayato headcanons, hooh, I certainly have a few!!!! I'll toss them below the cut :3

He's ambidextrous - with both writing and weaponry. He can seamlessly switch and tends to just use whichever hand is convenient (though he favours his right when he's doing calligraphy so he wont accidentally smudge the ink).

He tends to hyperfocus on things (especially work-related things) and will often forget to look after himself entirely, only realising that he has been sitting hunched over his desk for hours on end when Thoma tells him.

Speaking of, I really love the idea of Thoma and Ayato having a QPP-type relationship, they're really casual behind closed doors and just act like best friends when others aren't watching.

Ayato is really good with kids, though he isn't particularly fond of them (as in he won't go out of his way to interact with them). He got a lot of experience growing up with Ayaka and always knows how to deescalate situations or play along with silly little games and the like.

He shares a study with Ayaka, so they can keep each other company! They have two big desks in one room, though Ayaka tends to be out and about more often than not.

He gets really irritated if anyone moves anything on his desk - he's always able to tell right away, even if everything has been put back in its rightful place. His desk is often a horrifically chaotic mess, but he has a system in place and archons help the poor new hire who tries to neaten it up a little.

Terrified of insects. Gets super grossed out and may actually shriek if he comes face-to-face with a creepy crawly unexpectedly. Thoma is also afraid of them, leaving Ayaka or another housekeeper to have to scoop them up to take outside.

Had a bit of a rebellious phase growing up, though after his parents passed he matured quickly, though sometimes his defiant streak may shine through, especially when dealing with uppity nobles.

Can and will bitch and moan endlessly about all the stuck up idiots he has to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Ayaka and Thoma often get an earful of this - sometimes his gripes become super petty and specific (for instance, he hates the way that the Guuji Yae smacks her lips when she eats).

Speaking of bad noises, he totally has misophonia - he's extraordinarily good at masking his negative responses to things (especially around others) but certain noises just trigger the rage response - Thoma and Ayaka have learned to keep an eye out for that slight twitch in his eye and the tense way he holds himself when he's close to snapping - not that he'd ever do anything outright rude or bad, but he may try something a little underhanded or not ideal for the current situation just to get out of it.

Ayato is a bit of a pessimist too, he calls it 'realism' and cites the fact that it's good that he's always "either correct or pleasantly surprised" as an excuse to continue being vaguely negative about things.

He twirls his hair a lot - I like to imagine his hair as being longer than in canon (more like how people theorised it when he was first revealed) and so often he'll just absently fidget with it.

He's awful when it comes to music. He cant carry a tune or hold a rhythm to save his life. If he's heard a song enough, he may be able to sing it presentably well, but ... not amazingly.

He likes to play silly little practical jokes on people when he gets the opportunity. I'm imagining this scene from mlp when it's in a situation where he needs to be polite and well put together, but there's definitely been times when he's had a bit of extra time on his hands and pulled together a pretty crazy and elaborate scheme (such as making poor Thoma think the entire household had been replaced by yokai after he'd been out to purchase some things)

Oh also !! I like to think that Ayato and Kokomi would get along pretty well and have a lot to talk about. I think Ayaka would also get along really well with her, but there's just an unspoken bond between Ayato and Kokomi as heirs to large important families who were burdened with their duties at too young of an age. They often correspond through letters and the like.

His expensive taste is not optional. He will literally break out in a rash if he has to use cheap soap or crappy sheets.

Does NOT know how to deal with animals at all. Has been chased around by the estate's chickens multiple times (mostly because Thoma babies them too much and they think every person is a friend)

Ayato's sense of personal space is really ... weird, too. With people he doesn't know well or doesn't care for, he stands several paces away (probably a little more than what's considered socially acceptable), but for his close friends and family, he's practically shoulder-to-shoulder with them.

Is super prone to misplacing or losing his things - others (read: thoma) usually have to keep track of important things for him or else they'll just disappear forever in his eight billion pockets.

Wears lots and lots of layers because he likes the comfort that the extra weight and pressure brings.

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagiarise my writing! I do not consent for my works to be translated and posted elsewhere, or used to teach bots!

[praublem-child]

I imagine that is a great explanation of US healthcare system as it pertains to minors, but this letter is about the UK.

As a British mother of a British teenager here in Britain, my son could totally make a medical appointment, attend it, get treatment if appropriate, without me knowing. It would not come up on a bill / health insurance, because we don't have those here.

The comment you made about phone tracking etc is at least partly valid though, as controlling parents sometimes forcibly install spyware etc. Itemized phone bills aren't common here and I haven't seen one in more than 20 years, but I imagine they might still exist for some people. So such a kid would have to go there in person to make the appointment.

Anyway, all power to kids having the autonomy I wish I had at that age!

I didn’t take into account the different healthcare systems in other countries. Sometimes I really forget how isolated our school systems are and how little I know about the other places in the world/how little they come up in my head when I’m interacting with things online, so thank you for pointing this out. I also hadn’t even noticed that it was for another country, but I probably should have looked at the original post a little closer.

I suppose in other places transportation also wouldn’t be as much of an issue as in my area either. I can’t get anywhere without a car, but I know a lot of other countries have significantly better public transport systems and such and even in other cities you can walk to appointments so that’s probably just a my area/rural area barrier for minors getting healthcare.

Sorry if this sounds ignorant, but I promise it’s out of curiosity. Do you really not get anything home from doctors offices in the mail? Even when we don’t get bills in the mail (paperless delivery, no recent procedures needing billed, etc) often my doctors offices send follow up with instructions in the mail. I get what’s called after visit summaries mailed to me semi-often that just explains what the appointment was for, any medications I was put on, and what next steps needed to be followed. Whenever they ask I always request they don’t send it because I have an app that lets me access it whenever and the papers just get lost or piled up collecting dust, but they don’t always ask.

I grew up with one parent that was chill with me having these rights and another that was appalled, and the latter was one who went through my phone and mail constantly so I wouldn’t have been able to pass through this even if everything was addressed to me and the bill was covered by me personally. I didn’t have an itemized phone bill either, my father just demanded I hand over my phone at random for him to search through, and he always listened in and kept logs of when I was on the phone so he could tell if I deleted things and tell at me.

I think the overlap between the parents who don’t want their kids having these rights and the ones that would go through their kids devices and mail to call them out on things is probably a circle, and as much as I know kids can be sneaky, there’s only so much one can do to hide things at times which is why it was such a big point I brought up.

I’m really glad to hear that other countries have better rights for healthcare when it comes to teenagers. Here’s to hoping the rest of the world follows the example.

[meowmeow422]

YOU

I see you like the warriors of hope from danganronpa

Any hcs you can share?

Finally! /hj

Quite a few, tho they may not be the best lol😅

Also, influenced by my 'Princess of Light' AU—basically a universe where Monaca met Makoto instead and was inpired by him.

Oh, and the rest of the Warriors are yanderes cause why not?

If anyone wanna check it out, here! I have some hcs that are specific for that au as well—if anyone is interested, I can post those too.

Anywho, hcs. Tw: angst, dark stuff. I'll add some silly fluff ones at the end so just scroll there if you wanna avoid the heavier drabbles

Monaca Towa

I have a feeling that Monaca is a bit like Cruella and/ or Himiko Toga. She already had some questionable tendencies that only worsen with the way she was treated; she just needed some help but we know how that ended up

Monaca def has a sibling complex. I think she always just wanted a family. No matter what, it's a fact: she was just a kid; a half-sibling was still a sibling to her, yet Haiji was absolutely disgusted by her very existence. (As someone with two older siblings I can't even imagine the pain)

I mean, just look at her wiki. The way it describes what others, what Haiji thought if her? Her own quotes? Yikes

Which is probably why she was so quickly and obsessively attached with Junko; the person who could be her sister—her family

Wanna know the 'best part'? It is canon that she knew perfectly well that Junko not only didn't actually care for them but was using them too. Ouch

Nagisa Shingetsu

Due to what his parents put him through, he abhors games where you have to grind or constantly level up.

He does however love cute casual/ mindless stuff; games where you can just turn off your brain and enjoy yourself—games where you don't need to be perfect, you can just be you

He is either completely terrified or utterly apathetic to needles. Like when the school nurse come to give the annual shot, he's either gonna break down or be like 'huh, another one.'

Pretty numb to sensations most of the time. Especially bad during exam week or if his parents have a new theory they wanna 'try out'

Kotoko Utsugi

Panics when men get into her personal space—espeacially fearful of the older/ bigger ones

Has dark tendencies too; it's unfair that she had to go through the abuse, so why not share the pain?

She'd tear some of the girls' skirt or top, or splash water onto them.

She wants other girls to be tainted so that she herself feels less dirty

When she used to act in school plays, she tried to spend as much time at rehearsals so that she didn't have to at her 'other job'

Probably has an eating disorder—mostly cause her mom keeps telling her she needs to be cute or else she is worthless

Jataro Kemuri

His obsession with hatred comes from the belief that while he is despised he is still paid attention too

Afterall, hate and love aren't opposites—they're paralells. Apathy is the true opposite

Jataro would pick being degraded and laughed at 1000× over being ignored

His worst experience was when his mom got so fed up that she didn't even get mad at him, just glared and walked away. A whole day of damning silence

Also, likely why he says random stuff; it confuses others and gives him their attention, if momentarily

Masaru Daimon

Due to his dad's addictions, Masaru flinches at the sight of a lighter

Additionally, he really hates strong smelling substances

He learnt how to patch himself and knew basic medical skills at a young age

As we've seen, he can also be self destructive; bruising himself when he feels like he's not living up to the title of 'Hero'

Lived off instant foods since his dad only gave him meager pocket change for it.

Now, onto the more light-hearted ones!

They like playing the Sims and/ or Minecraft together! Kotoko would design their characters and work with Jataro to build their house; Nagisa prefers playing free/ creative mode cause there's no goals or restrictions to abide; Masaru would likely be the only one hyped to finish certain milestones purely to brag; Monaca, well, she's gonna unleash all her pent up frustrations on those poor Sims/ mobs.

They used to have movie nights together! It was Kotoko's idea since it was an adorbs trend. Initially it was just the girls but eventually the guys joined too. They usually do it either at Monaca's place or very rarely at Jataro's.

They each have different love languages! Jataro's is physical touch, since he never recieved anything from his mother due to her disgust of him; Masaru's is words of affirmation as his dad never really said anything good about him and only talked when necessary; Kotoko's is quality time—since, prior to Monaca, people only interact/ spend time with her they have an ulterior motive; Nagisa's is acts of service—as he never had someone do something for him that didn't harm him; finally, Monaca's is gifts—she's the girl who has everything, but feels like she has nothing—a present, no matter how big or small, as long as it is genuine is precious to her

Speaking of, Monaca prob has a few gifts from the Warriors, and possibly even her other classmates, that she keeps. She says it's just for future blackmail but her heart says otherwise

Masaru is actually a pretty decent cook! He had grown tired of fast food so much he actually learnt how to make some basic meals. He sometimes even cooks for the others—mostly to impress them but still! Though he much prefers eating then preparing the meals

Jataro is awful at cooking tho—in fact, he's banned from the kitchen. He tends to get distracted and ends up putting random things into the mix

I have a feeling that all the Warriors have a 'liking' to Monaca, by different degrees however: Nagisa's is of course pupply love; Masaru thinks that they belong together since he's the Hero and she's the Princess; Kotoko probably sees her as a pure untainted angel that needs to be protected; and Jataro... well, maybe he's just confused lol

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Cynophobia - n., pathological fear of dogs

Lan Wangji never asks - he isn't the type to pry information out of others that they are not yet ready or willing to share - but Wei Ying decides to tell him anyway. Because Wei Ying loves him and trusts him and feels so safe and comfortable and welcome around him that there's no reason not to open up.

"Remember that hunting dog we saw in the markets today? The one you chased away?"

"Yes."

"Lan Zhan, aren't you curious to know why I'm so scared of dogs?"

"If Wei Ying wanted to tell me, he would have. I do not want to cause distress by asking."

Wei Ying smiles at his husband, so poised and pretty and his, moonlight contouring his features in a silvery glow. Wei Ying could spend the rest of his life just looking at Lan Zhan and he would be happiest - luckily, he gets to do a lot more than that (and he did, if the mess of sheets in their bed is anything to go by).

"I want to tell you."

"I will listen."

Wei Ying rests his head on Lan Zhan's chest, hearing his heartbeat underneath his skin. His eyes close with a sigh.

"So, as you know, when I was little, I lived on the streets for a while, until Uncle Jiang found me. It was... difficult, as you can imagine. I could handle a lot, even when I was very young, so I learned to cope with the cold and the loneliness and the boredom... but the worst thing was hunger, I couldn't deal with that one very well."

Wei Ying opens his eyes, moves one of his hands to trace random shapes over Lan Zhan's chest.

"Sometimes people gave me some food from the stalls or the innkeepers would let me have leftovers... but that didn't happen every day. And even when it did, it wasn't always just kindness. They'd make fun of me or insult me or try to make me do all sorts of tricks, like a circus animal."

Lan Zhan brought Wei Ying even closer now, leaving a kiss at the top of his head for comfort. If he could find them, Lan Zhan would make these people grovel for forgiveness in front of his Wei Ying - but he can't, and they aren't important now anyway. Because Lan Zhan would never let them or anyone hurt his beloved ever again, so whoever they were... he could only hope fate treated them as they deserved.

"But most often, I'd have to eat whatever I could find on the street, whatever people threw away... watermelon rinds and that sort of thing. But I wasn't the only one hungry."

There is a pause. Lan Zhan finds it appropriate to better drape the thin blanket over the two of them and maneuver himself and Wei Ying into a proper embrace, letting Wei Ying hide into his chest as Lan Zhan envelops him completely.

"You do not have to continue if it makes you upset." Lan Zhan says, voice soft, kissing Wei Ying's forehead.

"No, it's just I..." a deep breath, "...never really talked about this stuff before. Back then, everyone knew I was scared of dogs and that was it, they didn't ask and I didn't say anything... So it's a bit weird, you see?"

"Mn..."

"Anyway, I wasn't scared at first. My parents loved dogs, I remember my mom would always feed the strays wherever we went and dad showed me how to pet them. But my parents were gone... and I didn't know how to fight. The dogs did, though."

Another sigh. "I don't really remember specific incidents, just bits and pieces... I got bitten many times trying to get some scraps of meat or anything, really... it got to a point where it seemed like wherever I went, dogs were waiting for me, ready to steal the little food I had and then kill me to eat me too."

Another pause. Outside, soft rain pitter-pattered against the roofs and the paved pathways in a slow rhythm.

"That feeling really stuck with me. Every time I saw or heard a dog, no matter how strong I became as I grew older, I always returned to feeling like a cornered, terrified kid about to be hunted by dogs and torn apart for their next meal."

Lan Zhan could only hold his beloved tighter, his heart hurting at the thought of Wei Ying having suffered so much hardship starting at such a young age.

An airy laugh. "I'm really glad people in Yiling didn't have many dogs, the fearsome Yiling Patriarch would have become the laughing stock of the cultivation world if word got out of my fear."

Lan Zhan ran a hand through Wei Ying's hair, "That is not something amusing."

"Hm... to me, to us, it isn't. But if we were other people, maybe it would have been."

"It is good that we are not."

[thelextheluthor]

I have a sort of love/hate relationship with Titans (the series on HBO Max) because:

On one hand I could literally not imagine anyone better to play any of these characters like Brenton Thwaites is peak Dick energy and Curran Walters makes baby asshole Jason look easy and Iain Glen is perfect Bruce material and Joshua Orpin gives off Superman vibes and also manages to make Conner feel young and inexperienced etc. There's also a good dynamic between most of the characters and they help each other out and they showing that they're people. They're people with problems and secrets and struggles, sure, but they're people. And they care. About each other. About the world. And the series shows that.

But. It also frustrates me to no end. Incoming huge rant, btw.

(warning- lots of spoilers for the show, mostly season 3 cuz that's where I have most of my beef with, and also i haven't watched s4)

Usually because of little -mostly Batman related- things that aren't really noticable to people not really into DC but are there nonetheless like: Dick is not his fucking legal name. It's Richard. No it's not going to say Dick on legal documents. I'm talking mostly about the episode where he got fucking arrested and they pulled up his file (and showed his passport to I think). Also his middle name is fucking John, people, not that hard to look up. (I'm pretty sure they do the same thing with Jason and make his middle name something completely random, but I'm sure in most if not all canons it's Peter). Just. Richard John Grayson. It's not that hard 🙄🤚 Nobody who is either not close to him or has no sense of boundaries will call him Dick. His (adoptive) father is Bruce MF Wayne. Richard, Mr. Grayson, Mr. Grayson-Wayne, whatever that canon is making his last name, that is what they will call him out of RESPECT, if not to him, to the one name everyone in Gotham knows.

Bruce's age is another thing. I have absolutely nothing against Iain Glen, pretty amazing Bruce, but your telling me Bruce is how old? Iain is 61. Like. I'm pretty sure he adopts Dick in his 20's. It's not him being an experienced adult. He's still young. So he WILL screw up. As a person and as a parent. Same thing for the young Dick flashbacks, like, an eight year old from a circus definitely would not know how to drive a car. I do love how he started off on the path of vengeance, because as a "darker" show, Titans is meant to highlight those parts of him hidden by traffic light colors and puns, but one of his things is that he's pretty much the age Bruce was when his parents died. The kid in the show was no younger than 13 in his earliest flashbacks (again, same with Jason and Tim. These kids showed up looking like high school graduates, which, sure, is young to be starting a life of crime-fighting, but you gotta remember that Jason died at 15 in the comics, and Tim never even graduated).

Another thing is, I really do want the show to introduce Damian, but I doubt that this version of Bruce would be able to raise a kid ever again, probably doesn't trust himself enough to, plus he's like in his 50's so either he had Dami really late or he -like the rest of the bat-fam so far- is really aged up when he starts his whole Robin thing, which also kinda worries me because Tim barely got introduced in the 3rd season and I think he will be Robin in the 4th, so I heavily doubt we'll get murder baby 10 year old-ish Damian. And while being young isn't all Damian is, it's a little crucial to his story because you see an adult who was trained to be a killer and you see them as dangerous, sure, but an adult. Actually seeing, witnessing a child being a murder weapon, knowing that that is all their childhood was, that is pretty twisted.

Also I feel like Dick's whole "prison arc" schtick just wasn't him because dude's whole thing was "adopting strays" and he just up and left a whole ass kid in charge of a tower and a comatose patient & got himself thrown into prison on purpose. Nuh uh. If there's one thing that separated Dick and Bruce personality-wise, I think it's that Dick is the one who helps and loves people from the bottom of his heart. Bruce does love people, but he doesn't know communication or where to draw the line between work and personal life. Dick also has that same problem and we see it, he knows it and resents it because he knows that's a *Bruce* trait, but he on the other hand has a support system, people who care and help. Because that's what the Titans is. And Dick wouldn't up and abandon that for anything.

Again with Bruce, I know fighting crime isn't the best way to raise a child, and that giving a traumatized child deadly weapons to fight their inner demons will leave scars, but I wholeheartedly believe that Bruce was trying to be a good parent. In the show, he's really no more than a mentor. The most emotion I've seen is AFTER Dick becomes Nightwing(in one of Dick's flashbacks, he communicated through fucking letters. Dick was practically alone). Same goes for Jason. This was supposed to be another kid Bruce saw himself in, someone lost and alone. And when we saw his computer files on possible future Robins?

Keeping the roll with Bruce, he does things I feel like neither Bruce or Batman would do. Hell, when Jason died, first thing he did was kill the Joker. That is Jason's whole schtick after getting revived‼️His whole problem with Bruce is that he let the Joker live, even after everything, even after his own son died! Nothing changed to Jason! His death didn't mean anything!

[anthroparis]

can you go more in depth on why you hated the barbie movie, i thought it was mid but i somewhat enjoyed it. mostly because i took an edible before going. also i love your blog for how angsty and opinionated you are

I would love to! and thank you, I try not to be so edgy (I used to be worse) but I am very opinionated and as my hero ron swanson said, if you believe in something, you sign your name to it.

Intro

"Hollywood is unoriginal and they love money" -ralph sepe, j.r.

thesis: my problem is more that it's probably one of the most soulless and offensive takes on feminism I have seen in my life, and people keep dragging its rotting corpse around on parade like it's accomplished literally anything.

like. come on.

actual movie parts

speaking on technical terms, I really fucking hated the pacing. so many random, useless points were brought up and then never developed. it's like gerwig didn't know what she wanted to say so she just said everything and never developed any of it. there were so many characters, plots and subplots, and conflicts in the movie and none had a good setup or payoff. like so much happened to the point where it feels like nothing happened at all. I'm not even quite sure what the point was? what were they even trying to say? women are powerful? it's okay to be a girl? aging is okay? like oh my god. I'm not saying you can't have a ton of themes, I'm saying that if you don't know how to make them work together and flesh them out enough, it's going to DESTROY your pacing. it was like watching fucking love on a leash with how many things started and ended right after one another.

okay those are my film school dropout gripes. now onto why this movie completely failed as a feminist story:

the feminism

it was a big-budget, star-packed movie made in hollywood

it's fucking barbie

"barbie was made to make women hate men" "barbie was made to empower women" BARBIE WAS MADE FOR MONEY. IF THE PRODUCERS DIDN'T THINK IT WAS GOING TO MAKE A PROFIT, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT. IT WAS MADE TO SELL TICKETS. IT WAS MADE TO MAKE COMMERCIALS FOR. IT WAS MADE TO ADVERTISE MERCHANDISE.

it is actually literally not revolutionary at ALL to put money in a producer's pocket and more fast fashion in a landfill. stop pretending like it's feminism. it's not. it's capitalism that is preying on a demographic. congrats, you just fell victim to advertising!

okay now that that's said:

this is the kind of movie I imagine liberal parents would show their small children to introduce them to feminist theory. I saw someone on instagram saying that you shouldn't take your kids to this because it contains "themes that they might not understand" like fucking what? what themes? there was absolutely 0 nuance at all in that movie. nothing was symbolic or thematic, they literally just TOLD YOU WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

this is like if they made a picture book about feminism into a movie. I'm sorry but throwing around terms and buzzwords means literally nothing to me.

you want to write a powerful movie about defying gender roles, misogyny, and wanting to just exist without the weight of expectations? then write a fucking movie about a person. Whip It (2009) is an excellent example of a feminist movie that outsells barbie in every written regard, because it's not hamfisting these terms to fumble around a slightly progressive point, it's telling a story about a humanized, sympathetic character who is struggling with her own relationship to femininity. like I'm sorry, but there is nothing relatable about barbies. I am not flawlessly beautiful, I am not effortlessly successful. most women aren't.

which brings me to my next point: this movie is overly obsessed with the idea of being a woman rather than being a person who happens to be a woman.

I want to see movies about people. just people. not defined by their genders. exhibiting a wide range of traits, interests, experiences, feelings, memories. I don't want to see barbie's steps into ""real womanhood"" being going to a fucking gyno, because women are not defined by our pussies. believe it or not!

I strongly, STRONGLY disliked the really heavy-handed terfy messages in this movie. I understand that most people would not notice them but I do. I see that shit.

here I'll give you one: barbies who are not enlightened by their knowledge of their "womanhood" are brainwashed by the kens. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. I'm reaching here but the whole brainwashing bit is a super fucking terfy talking point about women who like men. I've heard it a lot as someone who engages in kink.

I'll give you another one: universal girlhood. to "free" the brainwashed barbies, the enlightened ones have to tell them about these things that "every women experiences!"

I remember watching this bit and not relating to a SINGLE thing that was listed. not ONE thing. I am a cis woman. but because I am gnc and was raised to be gnc, I could not relate to these experiences. I do not worry about gaining weight. I am not self-conscious of my stretch marks, and never have been. I am not afraid of being mean or loud when it's necessary.

again I identify as cis. I'm just gnc. I have constantly struggled with feelings of not being a girl in the right way. I imagine lots of other people feel the same thing. this constantly snivelly "well you have to fit THIS criteria to be a girl" nonsense is so fucking harmful to me, to trans women, to other girls who don't feel like they fit within traditional gender norms or struggle with feeling like they're not doing femininity right.

barbie gives us an incredibly narrow, specific window into femininity, and yes, actually, it does reinforce gender norms. there's not really anything revolutionary about being conventionally attractive, smart, and successful.

that's where I really struggle with this movie. it represents a very tiny, limited piece of womanhood and then packages and sends it off as the full picture. it's exclusionary. it's narrow-minded. it's incomplete. things just happen. things just happen!

nothing about this representation of womanhood felt organic to me. it literally felt like it was written by some guy. it had "heyyy queen I saw your tweet about how men are trash and I just wanted to let you know that I agree. although I myself am a man, (i know, ugh)" written all over it.

they were so close. SO close with that part where normal barbie feels like she's less valuable as a woman for not being successful. I like that point a lot, and would've liked to see a movie that focused around that instead. but it's just not not true. she's gorgeous. she's intelligent. she understands politics. she's confident. she has friends. measuring women's success through numbers is literally corporate feminism. it's bullshit.

I would like to see movies about women who are people. women who are flawed, not in the palatable, socially-acceptable way. not in a cute, fashionable way. I want gross girls, I want loud, mean girls, I want girls who exist for themselves. I want girls who are just getting by. I want girls who are impassioned, I want girls who scream and are messy and violent.

because these things are not gendered. let's stop acting like they are.

I am so fucking tired of corporate feminism. of this idea that feminism needs to be palatable to be taken seriously. that women are not naturally aggressive, or loud, or mean. that we are defined by our genitals.

nothing or worth or significance happened in that movie. the arguments about it are stupid

outro

"It just exists. It exists so they can make commercials for it. So that you can pay money to see it. Films aren't made just to exist"

-ralph sepe jr.

[onceuponaloonatic]

I'm obsessed with the misatzu au and their kids.. Also I'm obsessed with saki and eunji but I'd looove to get some more insight into ai and yuna's relationship. Great job author!

sorry this took so long! i had a whole post basically typed out and tumblr decided to delete it before i could finish the draft 😭😭 anyway i feel like i don't talk about these two very much so i went a little ham with headcanons lol sorry

i might be contradicting myself a little here, but i actually don't think these two are very close when they are kids

lemme explain

ai is very high energy, and she's the type of kid to run around and rough house and all that stuff, she's especially not shy (to the embarrassment of her parents at times)

even when she plays with barbies, it always involves a lot of moving and running around, and jihyo and momo actually struggle to contain her for a while

yuna is the exact opposite

she is a lot more quiet and prefers things like coloring or reading (with her mommies help!) and video games

as you can imagine, this doesn't mesh super well for young kids

their parents want them to be close, as their ages keep them from being in the traditional "kid squads" i've talk about before

ai desperately wants to be in the "older kid squad" (seojun, hyunjun, sai, kihyun) but she's just slightly too young to really keep up with their playing

yuna aligns more with the "younger kids squad" (daehyung, eunji, the triplets) but again she doesn't quite fit in since she's older than them

so their parents were hoping the two of them could be close

but it never really works out that well due to their different playing styles

their parents don't try to force it or anything, but they stop scheduling them play dates when they notice the girls aren't having the best time together

honestly, despite being in the same grade, they aren't super close for most of elementary school

ai is the super super out going kid on the playground, who always is running around and leading various games, where as yuna prefers playing on her ds or reading

ai kind of struggles making lasting friendships, since she bounces around between people so much, but yuna gets more and more shy throughout elementary school

theres not really a turning point in their relationship until hina is born

when eunji was born, ai wasn't really old enough to really know what being a "good big sister" meant

and while she was a good big sister to eunji, eunji was always close enough in age to her that she never needed to be super mature and take care of her sis (especially because eunji is a very responsible and practical person)

but when hina is born, ai starts to feel this pressure to "be a good example"

people start telling her she needs to be more mature and calm, since her parents are super busy with the baby, and that she needs to be a role model for her baby sister (not mohyo, but just random people in her life)

this is exacerbated by the fact that eunji is naturally more responsible, and people start to whisper that ai should be acting more her age and it's sad her little sister acted older than her

anyway this leads to ai basically breaking down at school one day when one of the other kids teased her about her being immature

and who finds her hiding in the tree at the back of the playground crying? yuna of course

yuna immediately panics because ai isn't the type to cry very much

ai spills everything in her mind and yuna just sits there and listens, not judging her and trying to be an active listener

ai eventually stops crying, and yuna pulls her into a little hug and tells her that she's a good big sister, and she acted completely normal for their age and her parents didn't expect her to be perfect

and ai just kind of falls into yuna's hug

anyway, after that ai gained a bit of an appreciation for yuna's quietness

she finds herself running over to sit with yuna during recess when she feels overwhelmed or upset, finding a way to entertain herself drawing in the sand or swinging or something

and yuna finds that it's nice to have someone to talk to between chapters of her book

they learn to love and appreciate the differences between the two of them, and by middle school they are besties!

ai still is very sociable, but she always sets aside time to talk to yuna

around seven or eighth grade, ai spends the whole summer in japan with momo's family, and when she gets back, she noticed that yuna is different

not that yuna is actually different, but she just never realized that yuna was so pretty or that she looked really cute in her little reading glasses or when she got a new book

and she starts to feel really weird around yuna, and that actually makes her really upset for a while cause she doesn't know what's wrong

yuna on the other hand also notices that ai is different after returning from japan, and she also starts to feel confusing feelings towards her

ai handles them by just being frustrated with herself, and it only gets worse when yuna starts to shut her out

their parents of course know what's happening, but they don't meddle

jihyo and jeongyeon find them amusing, nayeon finds them frustrating, and momo tries to think of ways to get the two alone together

it takes them a while to figure out what happened, and even longer to get together

but eventually by high school, they realize that they actually both just had huge massive crushes on each other and then they got together

i mentioned once that they were the first couple of the kids, and i still think that's true

they were really really nervous to tell their families they were dating

but their parents are super supportive and encouraging of their relationship

ai helps yuna meet new people and see the world, and yuna helps ai slow down from time to time and remember to take a breather 🥺

they aren't a super pda heavy couple, but yuna loves being scented

and ai loves scenting her so it's a win-win

they would totally have some cute couple thing though like matching bracelets or phone straps

nayeon always squeals when she sees them cuddling, so they prefer mohyo's house for their dates

nayeon ships it okay? she loves that her daughter found someone to bring her out of her shell

and mohyo love that yuna helps ai take a deep breath and manage her life a little

their parents are super careful not to get involved in their relationship though, as they don't want the two to feel like they are forced to be together

tbh i actually feel like mohyo in particular would want to give them freedom to explore each other and their relationship

makes sure they are educated on safe sex/healthy relationships though!!! (much to their chagrin)

they aren't always necessary talking to each other on dates, some dates are yuna curling up with a book in ai's bed while ai plays video games or practices dances for her dance classes or something

they are happy with this arrangement though :)

ai is still outgoing even as they get older, but yuna is comforted by the fact that at the end of the day, ai will always make time for her 🥺

[emoticonheart]

Do you have any burping headcanons for your original characters? Like, what their belches sound or smell like, and also how frequently each person burps, and what their own reactions to their belches are?

OH ABSOLUTELY I DO

you, my friend, have opened a very large can of worms. but, before i get started, i'll just say that for me personally, i'm not big on the way belches smell. that's just not something i'm really into personally, but i can totally understand why other people like it!! but bc of that, i'm not gonna really focus on that, but feel more than free to use your imagination as i explain everything else!!

and so with that being said, out of respect for everyone's tls, if you'd like to know the burping habits of all my ocs, then feel free to keep reading

ashley (flexsteel): she was born with this odd medical condition that just makes her gassier than usual. when she was a kid, her parents took her to doctor after doctor to try to get the issue fixed, but there was nothing they could do. and so, she just had to live with these huge belches. she is always burpy after a meal, but she also is very skilled at burping on command. either way, like i said, these belches are huge. not hyper belch huge, but for a normal person? yeah she's pretty much untouchable when it comes to volume, length, and power. in fact, idk how i would fit this into the actual story so i'll just tell y'all here: since all her burps on stream are recorded, ppl have gone back and seen that with a lot of them, she has gotten super close to breaking some world records. super close, and she wasn't even trying. imagine what she could do if she was. she was super embarrassed about this skill of hers growing up, mostly because her parents and family made her feel like a freak for it, but she starts breaking out of her shell a little after meeting lily. but what really helps her accept herself is becoming flexsteel. it's through streaming and her followers that truly helps her learn to love herself. she still gets embarrassed from time to time, especially when she accidentally lets one go somewhere inappropriate, but overall she's a lot more comfortable with her condition.

sierra (burp soulmates): she is a very skilled burper when it's on command. that's because her bio dad taught her how to burp on command when she was a child, and she has spent years mastering her technique. she can control the length, volume, depth, and intensity of her belches with pinpoint accuracy. in fact, a lot of people at school will play this game with her where they give her a random aspect of a burp (22 seconds, extra bass, airy and quiet, etc.), and she'll do just perfectly. it never ceases to amaze people. however, she's nowhere near as skilled when it comes to belching naturally. in fact, her natural burps are just plain average, which is a stark contrast to her ability to burp on command. she wishes she were better at the natural stuff, but she's super proud of her abilities. she'll flex it any opportunity she can get.

addison (wyfatw): she's a royal princess, so she shouldn't enjoy belching as much as she does, but she can't help the way it feels when she lets one go. like ashley, she's naturally burpier than most, but it's nowhere near on the same scale as ashley. the thing about addison is that her burps aren't very long. the longest burps she can produce are five seconds long, but that's only if she really concentrates. but, what she lacks in length, she makes up for tenfold in volume. even if it only lasts a second, her burps are loud enough to make you flinch and clamp your hands over your ears, as if ten whips going off at the same time. before running away, one of her favorite things to do while eating dinner was wait until a servant or something was walking through the dining hall with a large platter of food or drinks and then release a quick, shotgun-like burp that echoed throughout the entire hall and shocked the servant so much that it sent their tray crashing to the ground. she got a kick out of it, and then got an even bigger kick out of her parent's disappointment. except the servants eventually learned to expect her little trick and didn't react the same because of it, and that was when it became no fun.

thalia (first impressions): with her mom being full ogre and her dad being half giant, her digestive system was bound to be messed up. like i mentioned in the story itself, her giant lineage means she's always hungry, and her ogre lineage means she's always gassy. and thalia is living proof that that combination is a recipe for disaster. she is constantly releasing earth quaking hyper belches, and when i say constantly, i mean constantly. they interrupt her when she talks because she literally can't go five seconds without one escaping her. at first, when she was a child, she was pretty proud of it, especially when she pushed the daycare bully off of the seesaw by releasing a particularly powerful belch and made herself the queen of the playground for a day. but the glamor quickly faded, especially when she couldn't leave the house for months, attending class online and even finding a job that she could do from home. these days, she feels pure indifference about her unique talents. she lets one go and just carries on as if nothing happened. she can hardly feel it coming up anymore, anyway, so why bother making a big deal of it?

robin (stolen crown): she was cursed with magical belches, so of course her burps are just gnarly. unlike thalia, though, she doesn't burp nearly as much, so she hasn't found herself getting sick of it yet. in fact, she actually loves burping. the feeling of all that air coming out of you as the ground shakes underneath you, and knowing that shaking is because of you? yeah, robin can think of almost nothing better. like thalia, though, her condition meant she was forced to hide away at home for a lot of her life, but for very different reasons. she could've let this get to her, blame her burpiness for the fact that she couldn't go out and make friends, but she actually didn't mind. as long as she could let loose freely, she didn't mind staying away from people. besides, she had her monthly visits to the tavern to look forward to. when she went on her quest with arrach and runt, she was a little more careful about it, but overall she's always been shameless.

arrach (stolen crown): he's a troll with three stomachs, so he's a naturally gassy guy. while his burps are nowhere near as powerful, they're definitely not something to scoff at either. he can still make branches bristle and animals run for their lives. he's been conditioned to feel ashamed about his abilities, so he acts that way at first. but you may quickly discover that he has a competitive side buried deep within him. and if you know him well enough, you'll know how to pull that side out of him. when that competitive side is out, he'll get into a burping contest with anyone and everyone, and only feel embarrassed about it later.

overall, when it comes to my normal burpers, sierra wins in technique, addison wins in volume, but ashely wins overall best burper. truly no one can compete with her natural talent. she can take on anyone and everyone and come out on top.

when it comes to my hyper belchers, thalia comes out on top. the intensity of both her and robin's belches are pretty similar, but what sets thalia apart is just how often she burps. the difference between robin and thalia's condition is that robin always has gas sitting inside her, waiting to be released, whereas thalia is always producing gas, so there's no room in her to keep it, which is why she is constantly belching.

i hope this answers your question well enough!! if you have any other questions or if there's anything i missed, feel free to send an ask!!

[moinsbienquekaworu]

The other day in class I was so bored I thought, hey, wouldn't it be cool if I had two SW OCs and they're a bounty hunter/the princess she's tasked with protecting and they fall in love?so after sharing with my friend who loves that kind of stuff for ideas and spending hours looking at Mandalorian armor and culture to decide what my own blend of it will look like, I have two new girls now they're cool self indulgent and I love them

Cause see they said "the Mando should be a Chiss" (because they're only vaguely knowledgeable in SW stuff) and as I was typing up a message explaining why she couldn't be, I was trying to make it work, and the idea stuck with me. I'm not gonna be making a Chiss OC in any other circumstance but I think they're cool and tbh the idea of Mandalorian parents who want a kid but are of too-different species just finding this weird looking little baby and adopting her is 🥺 I know very little about Mandalorian culture and I refuse to learn because that's just not my fandom niche I'm so sorry but we're Jedi fans here I can't do everything all at once (and also. Karen Traviss.) But with some quick reading through wookieepedia articles and the help of Mando Creator I think I'll do fine honestly. She's got short hair no idea what she is and her name is Karaad Stros aka Solek. Yes I was not subtle on the name. No I do not care. There are Japanese girls called Hoshiko I can do whatever I want.

Her future-wife is one of the Mikkian princesses called Tevlin Neleh. I can already hear you saying, Mikkians don't have princesses, what are you talking about? See that's the beauty of imagination, there's almost no canon about these guys so I'm just making shit up and nobody can tell me I'm wrong. So now 1) Mikkians have princesses who aren't from the same family and are kind of like rulers but in a government, whatever, nobody cares that's just for the royalty kink, and 2) they have. Well. I want to kind of steal their reproductive anatomy from a fic that lives rent-free in my head, where *cough* one of the characters is from a single-sexed alien species that makes eggs and has both an ovipositor that looks remarkably like human anatomy and another set of genitals. I'm not using the actual words because I hate when Tumblr hides my own posts from me when I look them up in my tag search. But anyway. What's the fun of having these two if I'm not going to think about everything they do together in vivid detail? They have chaste cute Keldabe kisses too though don't worry. They've got the range <3

Personal fantasies include Karaad finding out what she is through seeing Thrawn somewhere at some point and getting everything explained to her, and Din hearing about "the Mandalorian who married a Mikkian princess" from some random old person who's really really into the GFFA's equivalent of those royalty magazines when he starts looking for other Mandalorians.