#In a constant state of needing to see them happy and smiling

[nickfowlerrr]

so inviting, i almost jump in.

pairing: neighbor!bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: fluff. pining. idiots in love? fake dating...kinda lol. a lil bit of angst but not too much.

words: 4.5k

notes: happy new year! i tried so hard to finish this last night but just couldn’t do it lol. this is part of the ciwywt universe, but i think it can be read as a standalone, too.

also - coherent, consistent timelines? sorry, don’t know her. idk where this fits in their story but it does bc i say it does. 😌 i really love these two and i hope you enjoy this lil fic as much as i do. thank you in advance for reading. as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome, and so appreciated! 💞

"Ow,” you wince, “damn it," you grumble to yourself as you set your eyeliner pencil down, blinking rapidly to quell the tears you could feel about to form in your eye. You huff and turn to look down at the cause of your distraction, your phone ringing loudly as it lays on the counter. You see the caller and preemptively roll your eyes. Not this again.

You swipe to answer the call and his voice immediately floats into your ear, giving you no time to even utter a 'hello'.

"Before you say anything-"

"No," you state firmly, annoyance clear in your tone as you stop him before he can begin.

"Doll,"

"Bucky, I said no," you cut him off again. "It's a no. No. No, no, no. Not gonna happen," you continue despite his pathetic huff sounding on the other end.

"I know you said no..." he says before trailing off for a second, "but, doll, I really need you."

Damn him. You sigh heavily into the phone, putting a hand to your forehead to stop the headache you know is coming. He's really trying to pull on your heart strings... unfortunately for him, it's not gonna work.

"You don't need me, Bucky. You're gonna be fine. They're your friends, if you just tell them what you told me, they'll understand. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's not," he huffs, stopping himself, and you can almost hear him shake his head, "Will you at least try to come by?"

You know you won't, but you don't want to upset him any more than he already is.

"Yeah, I'll try. And stop worrying so much. You'll have a good time, I know it," you smile, the thought of him and his friends enjoying their New Year's Eve tugging at your lips.

"Yeah," he responds, sounding a little unsure. "Okay, well, I'll see you later?"

"Mhm...maybe," you say.

"Doll," he groans, causing an unbidden laugh to slip from you at his dramatics.

"I said I'd try, no promises! But I do have to go now, so, talk later. Bye," you finish, hanging up on him before he can try and talk you into making a promise you have no intention of keeping.

You sigh heavily as you set your phone back down, returning to your almost finished makeup. Just because you aren't going out doesn't mean you can't look good.

You're still so surprised he asked you to be his fake date to his New Year's Eve party. Both because you were surprised he was hosting a party to begin with, and because he needed a fake date.

But that was just it, he didn't need a fake date. He wanted to get his friends off his back with the constant set ups and double dates they'd plan for him. What he really needed to do was tell them the truth, just like he told you. He didn't want to date, at least not right now. He said his mind was on other things. That was understandable, so you weren't sure why he couldn't just tell them that...

A part of you feels bad for not helping Bucky out, but the other part of you knows you'd feel like a total outsider at a small party being attended by the avengers.

Like, the real-life superhero team, The Avengers.

That was an immediate 'no thank you'.

You were content to spend the night alone; just you, your grapes, and some apple cider to cheers to the new year.

--

The television plays on, another episode of a show you've seen ten times before just starting up, as a knock sounds at your door.

You furrow a brow as your head shoots in its direction. It only takes a second for you to come to the conclusion that it must be Bucky. You set your drink down and stand from where you were sitting cozily on your couch.

You fix your dress, and for no reason at all, check yourself in the mirror before you near the door, making sure your makeup isn't smudged and your hair still looks nice as you do.

There's another knock as you get to it and you open your door with a bit of attitude at his impatience.

"Bucky, how many times-" you're stopped short as you quickly see that the man before you is, in fact, not Bucky. "Oh, uhm, sorry, can I help you?" you ask.

"Yeah," the man laughs, "I'm here for the party. This is the right apartment, isn't it? Bucky Barnes?" he asks, looking at you quizically.

"No," you answer, "no, wrong apartment. He's just," again you're cut off, but this time by the door right down the hall opening, none other than Bucky peeking out to look down at you and - oh my god wait...is this - this is - holy shit you're talking to Captain America. Your eyes round as you look from Bucky back over to the man before you. "Oh, gosh, you, you're,"

"Sam Wilson," he smiles brightly at you, extending a hand. You shake hands as he continues, "and you must be-"

He is cut off from saying your name as it comes out of Bucky's mouth, almost frantically. You look from Sam back over to Bucky, your eyes still wide.

"I know you're still getting ready, but would you come here for just a second," he nods at you. You look once more between Sam and Bucky, your eyes narrowing as they land back on your own personal pain in the ass. What the hell is he up to... You and Sam go to walk over to him but Bucky speaks again. "Not you, Sam. You stay there," he says in a fuss. Sam puts his hands up, a look of confusion clear on his face at Bucky's demand.

You continue toward him and as soon as you're close enough to touch, he pulls you to him, turning you both so Sam can't see what you're saying. It's a hushed conversation, a whispered argument, really.

"You have to come over."

"No, I really don't."

"You do."

"I don't."

"You're staying."

"No, I'm not."

"You're staying. I'm not letting you leave," he says, trying to corral you into his apartment as you swipe at him, a back and forth of swats ensuing between the two of you.

"Bucky!" you finally whisper yell, stopping the battle as you ball your fists, almost stomping like a toddler in your annoyance. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I lied."

"Huh? To me? About what?"

"To all of you. But mostly them. I told them you'd be here. Because I thought you would be. But then you said you weren't coming, but I couldn't tell them that or they'd think I was just making up another lie about you..."

"Another lie?"

"I...may have... told my friends that we're dating and have been for a few weeks," he murmurs under his breath, so quiet you can barely hear his confession.

"You what?" you balk, trying your hardest to squash the stupid butterflies that are fluttering around in your stomach now at the idea of not only dating Bucky, but of being someone he brings up in conversation to other people.

"Alright, love birds, cute as this is, are one of you gonna invite me in or am I just supposed to stand here awkwardly in your hallway all night?" Sam interjects, walking to you both as you turn your heads to look at him.

Bucky turns entirely, moving closer to you, slipping his arm behind your back and resting his hand on your hip, "Yeah, welcome in. Steve said he'd be here with beer in a few minutes," Bucky says, an annoyed edge to his voice as he lets Sam through the door. Sam raises a brow at you and you force a smile. As soon as he's inside, Bucky snaps the door shut behind him, leaving you both in the hallway still.

"What the hell," Sam says, loud enough for you to hear through the door.

"Look, it started as a lie to get out of a date, but then I just kept using you an excuse to not go to things I didn't wanna go to. And ya know, more than half the time I wasn't really lying because I was with you," he tries to excuse himself.

"Are you insane?" you ask him plainly.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I really need you to be here tonight, please," he begs, his puppy eyes starting to get to you.

"You had only asked me to be your fake date."

"Yeah, once you said yes, I was gonna work the girlfriend thing in," he smiles wryly, rubbing the back of his neck in his anxiousness.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Is that a yes?"

You roll your eyes before acquiescing, "Fine. But you've gotta come clean tomorrow. You can't start the new year with secrets, it doesn't bode well for anyone."

"Deal," he smiles his real smile this time. Then his eyes drift down to your outfit and you warm, like you always do, under his attention. "You look good," he says softly, sincerity in his voice.

"Thanks," you accept quickly. You will not let him fluster you so easily. Not tonight.

--

More of Bucky's friends arrive soon after you get back from your apartment, your bag of grapes and bottle of unopened cider in hand. Bucky introduces you to each of them and you're now unsurprised that they know your name and exactly who you are. And you, for your part, are in awe of each and every one of them. Though you like to think you don't make it obvious.

And it's surprising how normal it all feels.

You for sure thought you'd be a nervous wreck around these people, but, especially with Bucky by your side, you've never felt so calm and comfortable, and at a party of all places. Though you suppose it helps that you're already so comfortable around his apartment. Still, it's nice. They're nice. And fun!

Card games are played, karaoke sung, and stories told as you all snack and chat the evening away.

You're all laughing as Sam talks about how everyone was sure Bucky had been making you up like a summer camp girlfriend after the fifth time he claimed you were sick or out of town so you couldn't show up to the events they had invited you to. Of course, you had no idea about any of them, but you do know where you were each and every night they brought up.

You were here.

With Bucky.

So, he wasn't completely lying. You smile and look to Bucky who stands right next to you. Your eyes instantly meet his, a smile of his own already gracing his face. You look back down, bashful despite yourself.

The night has passed so quickly and it's already nearing midnight. You're about to go get your grapes ready, but Steve's voice stops you, catching your attention.

"Ya know, I can't even remember the last time I've seen you look so happy, Buck," Steve smiles as he looks at the two of you. "I'm really happy for you, both of you,” he adds. “It's obvious how much you two care about each other. It's good to see."

You don't know what to say, and you're too scared to look at Bucky. You just force another smile, feeling a bit sad more than anything. Because this isn't real. Whether you'd like it to be or not. It isn't. You have to remind yourself of that.

Bucky's hand squeezing your waist, and the feeling of his admiring gaze on you as he pulls you closer to his side, doesn't help. It just makes that pit in your stomach grow deeper.

This is easy for him because it means nothing.

This is killing you because it means everything. It’s everything you never give yourself permission to dream about. Everything you want. And it’s what you know isn’t for you. It couldn’t be.

Just a few more minutes, you breathe, and then you'll go back to normal. No dating, just friends...just friends? Whatever it is you are to him...

You're lost in thought as the conversation continues around you, Bucky's hand never leaving you and his gaze never wavering. Even as he engages in the conversation, his attention is solely on you.

"Oo, countdown is going!"

The yell pulls you out of your head as your eyes snap to the television. What the hell! How did you just lose eight minutes? Damn Bucky always taking up your thoughts and distracting you.

You don't have the time to get to the fridge for your grapes as the kitchen is crowded, flutes of cider and champagne being passed out among the group.

You tsk, oh well. At least you have on your red underwear.

As the count gets lower, Bucky gets closer, and you mindlessly lean back into him as you watch the live broadcast from Time Square. Ten seconds hits and you all count along, Bucky's other arm comes around as he holds you from behind. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Bucky turns you around in his arms, catching you off guard as you look up at him, your hands coming to rest on his chest.

Two.

He leans in, and you're frozen. His nose brushes yours, as his lips brush against your own. Oh.

One.

"Happy New Year," he whispers against you, cheers and exclamations of the same sentiment shared all around the living room, between everyone else.

"Happy New Year," you whisper back breathily before you unthinkingly press closer to him.

His lips meet yours as he leans in ever closer and kisses you, so softly. Your eyes flutter closed as you return his affection, kissing back harder than you intend before you break away. It feels like magic, it feels like home. And you want nothing more than to do it again. To lose yourself in him so delightfully…

You remember yourself then and almost shy away completely before Bucky takes your face in his hand, turning you back to him. You lock eyes once more and you feel like you can't breathe at what you see in his. You don't have time to think on it before his eyes flick down to your lips and then he's kissing you again. His lips press harder against yours, still moving just as gently but somehow it feels much more intimate. Sincere. Real.

You deepen the kiss and then suddenly the whooping and claps around you both bring you back to reality.

You pull away, taking a sobering breath, blinking away the haze of longing as Bucky's delicate touch remains on your cheek. You gingerly reach to take his hand, slowly pulling it off of you. You hold it for a second, squeezing his hand before letting it drop.

The celebration continues all around but you need to get yourself together. Alone.

"'M gonna use the bathroom," you whisper to him, knowing he can hear you even through the din.

You exchange 'Happy New Year' exclamations with everyone you pass on your way to his bathroom and bid goodnight to the people already getting ready to head home. A lot of them have early mornings at the tower, so you get it.

There are only a few people in the living room with Bucky as you look back before you escape to the bathroom, taking your time to decompress.

Sam, Steve, and Nat were talking with him, but his eyes were on you when you looked at them.

You knew this was a bad idea. You knew you'd get caught up in the fantasy. And somehow, he still got you to do it. You curse yourself in the mirror and then notice your smudged lipstick.

The thought of your lipstick staining Bucky's lips right out there has you in a flurry of emotions...

He kissed you. Twice. That actually happened. But did it really mean anything?

Your heart twists as you refuse to believe it could have. You just need to... God, you don't know what you need. All you know is right now you can't stop thinking about Bucky's hands on you. You can't stop thinking of how soft and supple his lips are. And how damn good of a kisser he is.

You look at yourself once more in the mirror.

Fucking hell. What are you gonna do? You sigh, eyes squeezing shut before you shake your head at yourself.

You turn back to the door, opening it right when someone's knock hits.

You're somehow surprised, and yet not at all, to see Bucky staring back at you as you pull it open wider.

"Hey," you say, raising a brow and shoving every fuzzy feeling threatening to strangle you back down.

"Hey," he started. "Everyone left. I just, uh. Wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm good," you nod.

"I'm sorry. About kissing you."

"Oh," you utter - sounding more dejected than you wanted to. "Yeah, no. Don't, don't even worry about it." You muster a shamefully see through smile.

His stare is near invasive as he really looks at you, analyzing you. He opens his mouth to speak, but thinks better of it, instead giving you a tight lipped smile in return.

He nods, then looks to the floor, "Okay," he accepts.

You nibble your lip, crossing your arms as he still stands in front of you.

He notices and moves out of your way, offering a small sorry and a huff of a laugh.

You walk back out into the living room as he follows.

"Wow, this place is a mess,” you breathe a laugh, hoping to keep the subject change.

"Yeah," he agrees, "I'll be having fun tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" you question. "Are you busy now?"

"... I guess not."

"Then grab a garbage bag, Barnes. We've got work to do."

He laughs, "Oh, yeah? You're gonna stay and help me clean up?"

"What are friends for if not clean up?"

He smiles at you as his mind replays his conversation with Sam, Steve and Nat just minutes ago.

He told them the truth about you, and their reaction wasn't what he expected, but definitely what he needed.

"Wait, sorry, you're not dating her?" Nat asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, I'm confused, too," Sam added. "You guys act more like a couple than most couples I know."

"And she's cute, you seem perfect together."

"Well, we're not. Not, not perfect together," he amended, "I mean we're just not together. We're friends. Nothing more."

"Looks like a hell of a lot more, if you ask me..."

"So," Steve finally chimed in, "you spend all that time together, you talk about her constantly, and I saw the way you kissed her at midnight, Buck, but you're telling us it's nothing more than friendship?"

Bucky didn't know what to say. But he knew Steve knew what he was really feeling. He knew exactly what he wasn't saying.

"Do you want it to be more?" he asked. "Because from an outsider's perspective, it seems like you have everything with her but the label."

"I..." Bucky looked around, making sure you hadn't snuck back out of the bathroom yet, "yeah. I do want it to be more. She's, fuckin' perfect," he breathed a laugh as his thoughts, as they always do, strayed back to you. That familiar warmth that fills his chest anytime you're near, or hell, anytime he so much as thinks your name, returned to him. And suddenly his thoughts went back to the softness of your cheek as he held you close earlier. How pliant and perfectly your lips moved against his as you kissed him back. Not once, but twice.

Even still, he thinks back to when he told you why he was so reluctant to go on the dates his friends kept setting up for him. It was a lie when he said it was because he didn't want to date right now... well, partially. He really didn't want to date around. And his mind was focus on other things.

Other things, of course, being you.

When you nodded and told him you got it, that you felt the same way, his heart felt like it deflated by ten.

He was getting ready to finally make his move and ask you out, for real this time. But how could he do that now? He didn't want to be another guy you had to swat away, he couldn't be another one of your rejections. And you gave out plenty, always to his selfish delight if he was being honest. In fact, he can't remember the last time you actually went out on a date. It's been months...

Most of your nights are spent together. Just the two of you. But if you weren't wanting to date anyone right now, and he asked you, he couldn't be sure what you'd say. More importantly, where it'd leave you.

Bucky wasn't stupid, he wasn't blind, and he wasn't deaf. He had every confirmation he could ever want that you liked him the same way he liked you. But he didn't want to chase you away by pressuring a relationship, especially if that's not what you want.

"It's clear she likes you, too, ya know," Steve pointed out what he thought was the obvious.

"I know, I just. I don't wanna push her away by moving too fast. I don't think she's looking to date anybody right now,"

"If you don't ask, you'll never know."

He knew they were right. He needed to just bite the bullet and ask you outright. And he would.

But as he watches you glide around his kitchen, so at home, putting things back in their rightful places and throwing away the random garbage left behind, he thinks maybe not tonight… He doesn’t want to ask a question that might make you leave. But then again…what if it makes you stay?

"Chop chop, supersoldier," you admonish him as he continues to watch, staring dreamily at you. Your back is to him so you can't see his face, but you can feel the weight of his gaze.

Bucky follows your lead, tossing away the empty cups and putting away the leftover food and drinks while you wipe down the counter.

It really wasn't that much of a mess, but you're glad to get it cleaned now, so you won't have to worry about it tomorrow.

Wait...why would you be worried about it tomorrow? This isn't your apartment. God, you really are always over here, aren't you...

You turn to Bucky as he ties off the bag of trash.

You just look at him for a minute. Admiring him from mere feet away while he does the same to you. It's quiet between the two of you, but you can feel the charged silence as it brims with words unsaid.

You know what you want to do right now. But you do what you think you should instead.

"I guess I'll head out, then."

"Oh," he breathes.

"Oh?"

"I just, uh,” he shakes his head, "Never mind."

"No, what is it?" you prod, now entirely curious.

Bucky's bright eyes flash back up to yours and you see him search for what to say instead of saying what was on his mind.

"Your grapes," he remembers, turning to the fridge to get them for you, "you didn't eat them."

"Oh, yeah, well, too late now," you laugh softly.

"What's your resolution?" he asks.

"That's not how the grapes work, Bucky."

"Come on," he goads. "What's your resolution? I wanna know."

"Hmm. Well, good question," you think for a moment, watching him as he rinses off a bunch, then pulls two grapes from their stems. You mindlessly purse your lips as you think. "I want to be less scared," you start quietly, eyes meeting his intent gaze, when he looks back at you, "More confident," you add with a little nod.

"You, more confident?" he asks. "You're one of the most confident people I know. And I know Thor," he adds, getting the laugh he was hoping for from you.

You shrug, "Fake it til you make it." You give a soft, almost sad smile. It physically hurts him to see that hint of sadness in your eyes, and he wants nothing more than to do whatever he can to take it away. He hands you one of the two grapes and you raise a brow as you take it.

"And you?"

Your heart rate kicks up as he steps close, invading your space and standing right before you.

"I…would like to communicate better."

You huff a laugh, tittering, "Yeah, that's a good one."

"Let's both start right now," he says, holding up his grape.

"Okay. Let's," you hold up your own grape, bumping it into Bucky's as if you were toasting before you both pop your own grape into your mouth, stupid smiles on both of your faces.

As you finish, Bucky takes a step closer, surprising you as you look up to him. A bit of deja vu coming over you as you swallow hard. You wait a long breath for him to say something. And then he finally does.

"So. This is me, trying to communicate better: I'm not really sorry that I kissed you. Either time. And if I'm being entirely honest, I'd really like to kiss you again right now."

You're stunned silent and you think you can hear your blood rushing in your ears as you blink up at him.

It takes you a moment before you think you can respond, but Bucky speaks again before you do.

"But I'm not going to do that. Because I want to do this right. In fact, I've been wanting to do this right for months."

"Bucky?" you murmur quietly.

"Doll, will you do me the pleasure of accompanying me to dinner and a movie this Friday?" he asks sincerely.

Your mouth is dry and you have to force yourself to swallow hard again so you can speak. "We always do dinner and movies on Fridays," you point out.

"I mean as a date," he clarifies, holding himself to his resolution.

You stare at him, unsure of what to say. Well, that's not true. You know what you want to say. You know what you want to do. You want to say yes, and you want to lean into him again and indulge him in one more kiss, because you want to kiss him as badly as he wants to kiss you. But that terrified voice in the back of your head is currently telling you to make a run for home as fast as you can. You want to fight the fear, really you do.

Bucky is keeping his resolution already, you're just not sure if you can do the same.

"Uhm," you drone awkwardly.

He laughs that nervous laugh you rarely get to hear...the one you love.

"Is that a yes?" he asks with a hopeful wince.

It takes you a second and then your mouth moves before your brain does as you respond to him.

You stand there, a bit shocked at your own answer, and not entirely sure where to go from here...

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Self-Doubt (+18)

Pairing: Sanji x Fem!Reader

WC: 2600

MINORS DNI

Summary: Sanji isn't himself after being rescued. You help him work through his big feelings

CW: HURT AND COMFORT. trauma? sex, oral sex, MOMMY KINK, boob suckin, unprotected sex (don't) creampies (also don't) and pet names.

(Not proof read my edible kicked in)

— — 

After successfully rescuing your cook from Big Mom’s clutches, there was something off about him. Sanji wasn’t the same flirty, playful man that had left you at Dressrosa. He seemed distracted all of the time, like he was lost inside of his own head as he absentmindedly stirred pots and pans on the stove. His constant fawning over you, Nami, and Robin had slowed dramatically and hell, he barely even argued with Zoro anymore… that was the biggest red flag.  You cared for your crew mate and friend deeply, so you were determined to help him out of this slump. 

Your attempts at getting him to open up to you had repeatedly failed. Each time you asked him if something was bothering him or even just asking how he was doing, he would fake a smile and tell you not to worry about him. You couldn’t give up, you had to try harder. 

One afternoon, you catch Sanji in the kitchen preparing for dinner. 

“Smells good in here!” You say in a sing song voice you enter the galley and see your favorite cook at the counter chopping carrots. 

“Y/n, darling, thank you. Anything you need?” Sanji briefly looks up at you to flash you a tired smile. 

“Hmmm maybe…” You stroll into the large pantry and root around. 

“Y/n if there’s something you desire, I’d be happy to fetch it for you, no need to dig around in there…” Sanji puts his knife down on the cutting board with a huff. 

Before Sanji could step towards the pantry, you emerge with two wine glasses and a bottle of white wine in your hands. 

“What do you say you shuck a couple of those oysters in the ice box and we can enjoy them with this,” You wiggle the wine bottle in Sanji’s direction. “Like we used to back the day? I know they’re your favorite. Remember when we’d have to put a chair under the door handle so Luffy wouldn’t come in and slurp them all down?”

Sanji chuckles lowly and shakes his head. 

“Yes how could I forget? We would get so drunk, too…” He cracks a genuine smily briefly before it fades from his lips. “I’m not hungry. But if you’d like some, I can prepare some for you.”

You sigh.

“I don’t want them by myself. Will you at least have a glass of wine with me?” You smile and step closer to him. 

“I can do that.” Sanji reaches into his pocket and retrieved his wine key. He takes the bottle and glasses from you. He opens the bottle and pours two large glasses full. 

“Ice in yours?” Sanji asks. 

“You always remember how I like things.” You nod and smile. 

Sanji plops a few ice cubes into your glass. You raise yours. 

“Cheers to having you back.” You say as you tip your glass in his direction. 

Sanji hesitates, but eventually grabs his glass and clinked it with yours wordlessly. You both sip your drinks. 

“If you don’t mind, darling, I have to finish preparing for dinner. You can stay if you’d like, but I can’t say I’m much of a conversationalist as of late…” Sanji throws a dish towel over his shoulder and continues his work on the vegetables. 

“It’s fine. You don’t have to talk. I just like being around you.” 

Sanji nods and you watch him cook in silence for the next hour. As you observed him, you notice the heavy grey bags under his eyes, it was now clear that he wasn’t sleeping. Every now and then he would reach up and rub at his neck, obviously sore and aching. You hated seeing him in such a state, but he made it clear he wasn’t ready to talk and you weren’t going to force it. 

Once Sanji finishes the meal, you head out and gather the rest of the crew for dinner. 

The meal was wonderful as always and your rowdy crew filled the room with raucous laughter and conversation. Once everyone had their fill of food and drink, they thanked Sanji and filed out of the dining room to entertain their own evening activities. Most of your crew mates had gone to bed, but since the night was clear and warm you decided to lay out on the deck and look for shooting stars with Chopper. 

“You see those 5 big stars over there?” You say as you point into the distance. 

“Yeah, I think so!” Chopper wiggles his ears. 

“That constellation is called Pablo the Reindeer Warrior! He was a famous big strong reindeer who saved a city from destruction and became a hero!” 

“Wow! Really?!” Chopper looks over at you. 

“No, haha. I had you there!” You throw your head back and laugh. 

“Aww, y/n no fair.” The little reindeer pouts. 

“Sorry little buddy, it was too easy.” 

After a few minutes go by you see a shooting star. 

“Chopper did you see that!?” You turn to the side and see the tiny doctor fast asleep beside you. You smile and scoop him up in your arms and rise to your feet. You carry Chopper to his bed in the medical bay and tuck him in tightly. You yawn. It was late, but you wanted to see if Sanji was still doing dishes before you headed off to sleep. 

Sure enough, as you enter the galley, Sanji’s slender figure was slumped over the sink finishing up the dishes. 

“Hey San-“ You stop once you hear a sniffle. 

You go silent and don’t move any further. Was he… crying?

“*sniff* y/n, it’s late.” Sanji chokes back something like a wet sob. “You should head to bed. *sniff*” Sanji says without turning around, right hand covering his face over the sink.

“Sanji… you’re… not okay…” You say softly as you approach him slowly. “And that’s okay… you just have to let someone help you… we’re a family and you don’t have to do anything alone…” You reach his trembling form and reach up to gingerly touch his shoulder. 

Sanji jerks against your touch. You recoil your hand. 

“No! Don’t you get it! I fucked up! I am fucked up!” Sanji removes his hand from his face, revealing red, wet eyes. “I put everyone in danger and it was all my fault…” Heavy tears spill over and cascade down his porcelain cheeks. 

You immediately pull him into you and put your hand on the back of his head to push him into the crook of your neck. You wrap your other around around his shoulder to keep him close to your body. He cries harder. 

“I can’t sleep, y/n… I keep having nightmares… It’s just too much…” Sanji breathes out into your skin, now wet from his tears. You stroke his hair. 

“Sanji I understand why you might feel like that, but I promise you no one resents you for anything. You were doing what you thought would save us. We’re all just so happy to have you back.” You coo soothingly into his ear. 

“You shouldn’t have come for me, I’m not worth it. I’m a disgusting monster…” Sanji sobs 

You rub circles into his back. 

“Hey, out of all the disgusting monsters we’ve fought over these years, I’m pretty sure you’re very low on the list.” You joke. 

Sanji cries harder. 

“Oh come on, you know I’m kidding. You’re not disgusting and you’re not a monster. Imagine Luffy hearing you say this? You know he wouldn’t stand for it.” You state firmly. 

Sanji’s sobbing slows. 

“Hey… why don’t you stay with me tonight?” You ask. 

Sanji pulls back and looks in your eyes.

“What?” He questions. 

“If you stay with me, you won’t be alone if you have a nightmare. You’ll feel better if you get a decent night’s sleep.” You wipe tears and snot from his princely face. “Please?” You persist. 

“I… Ok…” Sanji resigns. 

“Good, when you finish cleaning up, come to my room.” You push his hair back and retreat to your bedroom deep inside the ship. 

You wash up and slip on a large clean shirt and boy short panties before you slide into bed. You sigh and stretch against your comfortable sheets. 

*knock knock*

“Come in!” You holler from your bed. Sanji meekly peeks his head into your room and you smile and wave him in. He had cleaned up his face and combed his hair, his normal three piece suit swapped for grey sweats and a white tee. 

“Hi!” You sit up in bed and pat the spot next to you in bed. 

“A-are you sure you don’t want me to sleep on the loveseat?” Sanji asked as he pointed at the couch in the corner of your bedroom. 

“Sleeping on a sofa isn’t going to make your quality of sleep any better. Shut up and get in here, cook.” You roll your eyes. Sanji delicately slides underneath your fluffy purple comforter and takes his place beside you. 

“Good. Now get some sleep.” You reach up and turn out your bedside lamp. You settle yourself in, facing inwards curled on your side, how you always slept. You listen to Sanji’s nervous, heavy breathing for a few moments before he spoke. 

“Y/n?” 

“Yes?” You open your eyes and look up at him. 

“Could I… hold you?” He asks with a shaky breath. 

“Of course. Come here.” You pull Sanji’s head down to lay between your breasts and he wraps him arm around your waist. You throw your leg over his hip and begin stroking his hair. Sanji couldn’t help but nuzzle his nose deeper into the crease of your breasts through your shirt. You smirk. After a few minutes of innocent cuddling, you feel Sanji’s hand on your side slip up your shirt and caress your naked back. The next thing you notice is the very slight grinding up his hips up into you. He was so cute like this, you couldn’t help but want to let him play… Maybe this is what he needed?

“Here baby…” you quickly pull back and remove your shirt, breasts falling into Sanji’s face in the process. You lay back down and pull his head back to your tits. “Go ahead and suck, sweetheart…” You guide his lips to your erect nipple. 

“Y/n yes…mmmpphh…” Sanji moans around your pert bud, continued to rut his hips into you. You arch your back and sigh at the sensation of his plush lips on your breast. 

Sanji sucks hungrily at your tit as he brings his hand to knead and squeeze at your other one. 

“Mmmmph.. thank you.. so perfect…” Sanji mutters as he pulls off your breast to give the other one the same attention, a sloppy string of saliva now connecting them. Minutes went by with Sanji just desperately suckling your chest, little whimpers leaving his lips every now and then…

“Feels so good, sweet boy, so good for me…” You coo as you tug at his hair. 

“Hmmppph… fuck… thank you mommy….” Sanji groans into your chest. 

You eyes snap open. 

*Oooooh, so that’s what he’s into… you know what? That makes sense…”

It might not be something you were used to, but you were happy with providing Sanji with whatever he needed in this very moment. You pull him gently by his hair out of your breasts and look into his glassy eyes. 

“Wanna be a good boy and fuck me, Sanji?” 

“Gods, more than anything.” Sanji bolts upright and sheds himself of his shirt and sweats, long cock standing at attention. You snap out of your daze staring at Sanji’s large member and shimmy off your panties. You spread your legs wide to entice him to enter you already. Sanji hovers over you. 

“Fuck me, Sanji.” You buck your hips up at him. 

“I can’t… not yet…” 

“What?” You sit up on your elbows. 

“Gotta taste you first… smells so nice…” Sanji drops to his stomach between your legs and spreads your glistening lips with his fingers. “Fucking pretty…” Sanji sighs before diving into your cunt and attaching his lips to your clit. You yelp out in surprise and pleasure. Sanji makes out with your clit as his saliva and your slick dris down the rest of your sex, soaking your skin and the bed under you. You writhe and moan under his tongue as your feel him start to play with both of your holes with his wet thumb and forefinger. His finger teases your soaked pussy as his thumb applied pressure in circles around your tight ass, all as he slurped on your clit. You found yourself hurtling towards an explosive ending very quickly. 

“Shit, Sanji!” You cry out and grip his hair as you cum violently all over Sanji’s face. The moan he let out as you released on him might have been as loud as your own, it was filthy and pornographic. 

Sanji takes one last lick of your sex before coming back up to hover over you. 

“You’re really fucking good at that.” You laugh and wrap your arms around his neck. 

Sanji chuckles and leans down to give you a passionate kiss. The flavor of your orgasm on his lips was making your head spin. 

“Wanna fuck you now…” Sanji whispers as he pulls back from you. 

“You can fuck me baby, I wanna feel you…” 

Sanji straddles one of your legs and pulls the other to wrap around his hip, turning you slightly on your side. He wastes no time in pushing his swollen cock into your seeping hole. Sanji stutters and gasps as he bottoms out inside of you, overwhelmed at the feeling of your warm walls sucking him in so tightly. 

“Y/n… fuck…” Sanji pants and pulls out of you just slightly, admiring your slick coating his shaft already. 

“So good baby, you stretch me out so good…” You purr as you run your hand up and down his chest. 

“Shit…” Sanji pushes back in, all the way to his pelvis and grinds into you, making sure to press into your clit. He continues grinding his hips in circles against yours. 

“Yes! Just like that, so fucking good baby!” You cry out and throw your head back, this particular position had Sanji able to stimulate all of your senses. 

“A-ah- Fuck! You’re squeezing me so tight! A-are you gonna cum?” Sanji stutters as he tries to keep his pace while fucking into you. 

“Yes honey, I’m gonna cum. Keep going, make mommy cum, baby- Ah!” You cry out and your dam bursts all over Sanji’s legs and pelvis. 

“Mommy! Fuck, ah! Can’t hold it, gotta.. gotta fill you! Please!” Sanji shouts as his hips move more erratically. 

In your post orgasm daze you whisper out a short “cum in me, please” and Sanji does just so with a loud groan, surely heard by everyone on the ship. You whimper as you feel him shooting rope after rope of thick white into your womb. Once his body stopped shaking on top of you, Sanji pushed himself off and flopped down next to you in bed. 

“Y/n…” Sanji turns to you and grabs your cheek. “Thank you…” 

You shake your head. 

“Don’t thank me. I’d be doing this with your no matter what had happened. You mean so much to me…” You look up into Sanji’s blue eyes. 

“I… I don’t deserve you…” Sanji looks away. 

“Hey.” You tilt his chin up to you. “No more of that. I thought I made that very clear.” You giggle and place a quick kiss on his lips. Sanji smiles. 

“I’ll never leave you again. I promise.”

xx

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hi! I really like your writing, and I was wondering if I could request a Yandere!Platonic 1st Years (+Grim) with an Eri!Reader?

How would they feel learning of her abused, trauma, and her unfamiliarity with general society and social norms? (Who’s looking murderous when they see just the scars littered around her arms and legs when her bandages are removed?)

Though it’s a whole different story when she says she sees her power as nothing but a ‘curse’, and her existence a ‘burden’ that only makes others suffer? All because of the man named ‘Overhaul’, the one who did this so her? (Who’s about to go feral when she admits she doesn’t remember how to smile?)

But she starts to become more positive thanks to Grim and slowly the others (She likes Grim and is very sparkly eyed because he talks, breaths fire and thinks he’s amazing)

Imagine when she says she made a friend all on her very own who’s ‘like her’, though they lightly chastise her that she shouldn’t talk with strangers (It’s Malleus, they’re both lonely, have horns she has 1, while Malleus has 2, have an incredible power that’s very dangerous, and they’re unfamiliar/slow with society)

Eri Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

You’ve been through so much….so you’ve been told. The pain, the heartbreak, the constant voice in your head that has guilt weighing on your little heart. Your transportation to Twisted Wonderland couldn’t come at a better time. They’re going to welcome you cage you to this new world more than willing to spoil you to your hearts content:

Grim 

“Oi oi servant they all think we’re monsters!”

“...yeah?”

“Yeah! So we gotta show them we’re gonna be the greatest mages in here!”

“Oh….okay!”

He’s the perfect chaotic companion

He teaches you to allow yourself to do what you want

Granted his guidance isn’t all knowing

No matter how tasty Heartslabyul’s tarts are you shouldn’t eat them everytime you visit — especially without permission

Either way you’re learning to forgive yourself and allow you to have fun

And leave it to Grim to say whatever snarky thing you’d like to say when your big-brothers get in the way

“Nyeh! You won’t be able to do anything against my flames, nyah!”

Ace Trappola

“Hey if I catch you moping about that plague doctor guy, I’ll sock ya in the head!”

“Ace?!”

“I-i-i won’t!”

In a weird way you’re so used to being bullied (by kai) that you tend to take his bully-affection to heart

You know he cares, he just won’t tell you often

He reminds you of a certain blonde…

It also makes you more privy to his very willing desire to steamroll over anyone he deems a problem for you

“I think he meant that as a joke, Ace…”

“Joke schmoke, I warned you, you stain! I’m putting you in the medical wing.”

“Ace, please!” 

Deuce Spade

“(Y/n), did you eat today? Are you feeling well? Do you need me to carry you!”

Mother hen of the group

He’s hovering close behind even when you don’t see him

Always making sure you’re safe and happy as can be

He’s teeming with anxiety if he’s not watching you himself

Even worse if you get hurt accidentally or on purpose

Now he’s Mama bear totally bearing the claws to protect you

He’s not going to leave you to defend yourself

Especially when your abilities hinge on your mental state

He’s trying his best

“Are you doing the breathing techniques Crewel recommended? Where’s your paper bag?”

Jack Howl

“Hello little one.”

“Hi.”

“Would you…like to sit on my shoulders?”

“Yes!”

Your #1 guard dog

Doesn’t have to worry considering Deuce is freaking out for him

He’ll be the sane voice of reason because Ace isn’t anywhere close to reliable in his eyes

Naturally he entrances you with his tail and overall dog-like personality

But don’t forget he’s got the bite force of a wolf that he’s not afraid to use if he deems fit

“Pup, don’t stop yourself from having fun or being…young. I–we will keep you safe.”

Epel Felmier

“You’re so pretty.”

“...Thanks.”

You’re the only one who can get away with calling him that

And he loves nothing more than escaping Vil to find out what other sweet makes you smile sweetly 

He’s also one of the first to join Ace as part of the self-proclaimed protection committee

He’s also one of the first to suggest taking it further than a mere beatdown

Anything for his new little sibling

“If there’s no body…there’ll be no problems.”

Sebek Zigvolt

“TINY HORNED HUMAN! WHERE IS YOUR DIASOMNIA PIN!” 

“Uhm…Ace took it from me…said it was unfair.”

“THAT FOOL. COME CHILD I SHALL BESTOW UPON YOU THE PIN AGAIN.”

Is definitely apart of a brainwash committee of his own and is insistent you become Diasomnia’s new mascot…under Malleus of course

His loudness sometimes scares you off but he means well

And will no doubt join the others if a few heads need to roll

“Rest easy, child. On my watch, no one will harm you.”

[starb3rrys]

Could you write about the bsd boys' (dazai, chuuya, atsushi and akutagawa) reactions to their fem s/o having an intense orgasm? like, she squirms, moans loudly and throws her head back (bonus points if they kiss her neck when she does)

Oooh!~ The amount of smut requests I’ve gotten is astronomical!, I love them all though and I can’t wait to write them. It makes me happy to see so many people enjoy my stories. (My motivation to keep writing Ong-). Anyways, without further ado! This one’s for you, Anonymous (¯ ³¯)♡

☆°~♡▪︎°☆ ☆°~♡▪︎°☆ ☆°~♡▪︎°☆ ☆°~♡▪︎°☆ ☆°~♡▪︎°☆

Over The Limit!~

Smut

Bsd Men x F! Reader

Ft. Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi, Akutagawa

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Dazai

It’s late at night, around 12pm…a time when most of the world is asleep peacefully in bed while others relax from a rough day at work, but not you. You had the misfortune of being in your boyfriends mercy for the night~. Loud whimpers and moans mixed with labored breaths were the only things that could escape your parted lips as your boyfriend slams his hips onto your plush ones. Dazai holds your lush thighs with a possessive and lustful grip keeping you in place as your legs rest on his shoulders. A pillow lays under your back, placing your defenseless body at a perfect angle for Dazai to hit your sweet spot ruthlessly. You grip the sheets as you whine for him to slow down, but your weak pleas fall on deaf ears as Dazai is too overcome by pleasure and greed to hear your sweet voice begging for mercy. Dazai grits his teeth as he groans at the feeling of your tight wet cunt wrapped around his already sensitive and needy cock as it pulsates and twitches inside you, begging for realize. Your cries of pleasure drive Dazai crazy as he let’s his instincts overtake him, you gasp as he presses onto you more, his whole body weight presses onto your weak overstimulated body as he forces his own cock deeper that before. Dazai rests his head next to your ear as he whispers erotically lewd words into your ear…and with one final thrust, you break. Your eyes widen as they roll back, tears present in the corner of your eyes. Your hands grip the sheets with immense force as your back arches, a loud shameless moan leaves your lips…~. Dazai let’s out a breathless chuckle at the feeling of your warm liquid around his member. “That’s it…let it all out..~”. He kisses your neck as he continues thrusting into you, riding out your orgasm. He then pulls out and finishes on your stomach. After a few moments, he smiles softly and caresses your cheek, his eyes are full of love as he gazes upon your flushed and dazed state. As much as he was pretty rough with you in bed, he still loves and cares for you…but he can’t deny the fact he loves it when you show him just how good he makes you feel, he’ll make sure to tease you about all those cute noises and reactions you made.

“You okay?…that was one intense orgasm, my my~ did I make you feel that good?…hm? Oh i see, you’re too out of it to answer, look at you tremble…haha…rest assured I won’t forget about that lewd expression of yours anytime soon~”.

Chuuya

It was Chuuya’s day off, and what a better way to spend it than by binge watching movies with you. Although, around half way through the movie…you and Chuuya weren’t doing much watching, it was hard to when your boyfriends cock was plunged deep inside of you. Chuuya’s hands gripped your waist as you bounced on his dick in a constant rhythm. Your moans and whines filled the air, your hips moved sensually, seemingly by pure instinct. Chuuya threw his head back, and closed his eyes as he let out low groans and curses at how tight you were. You couldn’t help but find the lewd noises your boyfriend was letting slip past his lips arousing. You felt pride in knowing you alone made him sound so needy…but it wasn’t enough, you needed to hear more. These thoughts influenced your next actions; you sped up your movements, causing Chuuya to let out a small gasp as his grip on you tightened. You lean down and kiss his neck, teasingly moaning into his ear. Chuuya is surprised by your sudden boldness yet finds it amusing…and frankly very attractive. He allows himself to be lost in the pleasure, to be lost to the feeling of your warm walls clenching around him. You can feel the way his cock twitches inside you, the way his groans are now mixed with whimpers…he’s close…he’s so close he can almost feel himself painting your insides…just a little faster, just a little more…but suddenly, you slow down. He groans in frustration at the feeling of you slowing down, preventing him from reaching his high. You pull away from his neck, wearing a taunting grin, you’re teasing him…but he is not having any of it. Before you can even react he grabs your hips, keeping you in place as he starts to mercilessly thrust upwards into your wet cunt, using you like his own personal flesh light. “Your boldness is quite impressive, but teasing me just won’t do. Now be a good girl and let me use you~”. You can’t even properly register what’s going on as pure pleasure and ecstasy fill all of your senses, not allowing you to think about anything but the feeling of his tip abusing your sweet spots. Chuuya looks up at your delicate body, as his gaze falls onto your breasts, bouncing with every thrust. Without a second thought, he leans his head forward, kissing and sucking on your sensitive nipples. You cry out as you feel yourself become overstimulated, your hands grip onto his shoulders in a pitiful attempt to steady yourself. He groans and pants into your skin, leaving hickeys and bite marks everywhere…with one final deep, and possessive bite, you’re sent over the edge; Your back arches, eyes rolling back as your head tilts up at the ceiling, your lips part allowing you to let out a borderline pornographic moan as your thighs tremble. He smirks, the way your body reacts to your sharp climax as you cum and contract around him is enough to drive him wild, he finishes inside you with one last thrust, a low growl leaves his lips as he pants. You both pant, cheeks are flushed as he pulls you into a soft and tender kiss, pulling away only to hold you tight, an exhausted yet satisfied chuckle leaves his lips.

“I really enjoyed seeing you act so bold in the beginning…but you were getting a little too cocky for my taste…so i had to remind you who’s really in charge around here~…and im pretty sure that orgasm was a perfect reminder~…that moan you let out..mm~ ill be thinking about that for days~”

Atsushi

The night started off sweet; soft kisses and gentle caresses as you two sat on the couch of your cozy apartment. But that sweetness soon turned into hunger and desire, as Atsushi gripped your shoulders and pushed you down on the couch. What once were soft kisses and touches, now turned into pleasure filled whines as Atsushi’s mouth was now attending your needy heat. Atsushi keeps your thighs spread apart as he licks your wet folds, your glistening arousal covering his lips, allowing him to taste you fully. His hands trail and squeeze your inner thighs, softly pulling away for a second to kiss and bite them, allowing some of your slickness to decorate them. Your back arches as you grip his hair, guiding him back to tend to your growing wetness. As he dives back in, he moves his mouth up, making sure to pay attention to your swollen clit, as he starts to suck and lick it like a starving man, god you swear you can see stars as the texture of his tongue swirls around your already sensitive bud. Atsushi moans softly into your heat, causing soft vibrations that drive you wild. Your cry’s and sweet taste are enough to make his own arousal grow. His tongue licks every nook and cranny of your sensitive area, his hot breath sends shivers down your spine. You pull and tug on his light gray hair, as you feel your release coming, you squirm and roll your hips on his face, trying your best to get even more friction. Your lips part allowing loud whines fill the air, your eyebrows furrow as you focus on reaching your climax. Your boyfriend grasps your hips and lifts them lightly up, allowing you to be at a perfect angle for him to sneak his tongue into your sopping wet entrance as you groan in pure bliss. The feelings too good…too overwhelming and before you know it, your orgasm hits you like a train. You wrap your legs around his head, gripping his hair, utterly trapping him as you throw your head back, letting out loud cries of pure ecstasy. Atsushi’s eyes widen slightly at how fervid your orgasm hit you, he quickly licks up all of your juices as he holds your trembling thighs, his eyes scrunch as he tries to breathe in through his nose, taking in your luscious scent. He pulls away and kisses your quivering thighs as he looks at you with a nervous smile. He’s glad he made you cum so hard but he’s a bit afraid he might’ve overwhelmed you…in a bad way that is. He holds you tightly while he praises you and offers to clean you up as well as bring you some water.

“You did so good…god you tasted amazing, but are you sure I didn’t go too far?…alright I’m glad to hear it, you really do look zoned out though- can I get you some water?…hm? Oh yeah- my pants…I might’ve gotten a little too excited…”

Akutagawa

These past few weeks have not been kind to you, at all. Having to balance work and personal life can become overbearing at times. This stress truly only had one cure, your boyfriend. Akutagawa seemed to not really understand why you’d want him to be your “personal stress reliever”… but after a bit of convincing, he gave in. Which explains why you were now panting and groaning like an animal in heat as you rode your boyfriends face. Your head was tilted up, lips ajar allowing erotic noises to flow in the air. You swirled your hips on his nose, one hand was circling your swollen clit, while the other stroked your boyfriends tender cock. His hands rested on your lush thighs, keeping them spread as his tongue worked wonders on your wet core. Spit and pre-cum sloppily decorated your boyfriend’s phallus, providing the perfect lubricant as your delicate hands attended his needy cock. Hushed curses and whines fell from your lips as the feeling of his mouth made all of your worries dissipate. Your bittersweet taste only motivated him to keep going, every noise you made drove him crazy. His dick twitched at your every touch, your thumb teased his sensitive tip. The feeling of your soft fingers caused him to groan. Your breath hitched as you felt gentle vibrations caused by his groans. This influenced your hips to move faster, by pure instinct and desire; searching for more stimulation. Your mind felt fuzzy, clouded by lust while your hands continued to pump his cock. The mutual pleasure you were both providing each other was so intense, so blissful…it was the exact thing you needed after so many stressful weeks. With each suck and lick, your worries and stress seemed to disappear, you both felt close to your breaking point. Akutagawa continued to lap his tongue relentlessly on your dripping pussy, your juices dribbled down his chin. He could feel the way your walls tightened and clenched around his tongue. The feeling of his nose massaging your folds was heavenly, causing you to moan and whine in pure ecstasy. Your thighs trembled as they clamped around his head. He could tell you were close; the way your moans got more and more breathless, the way your movements became more sporadic, the way your hand squeezed his cock like there was no tomorrow…he had to finish you off…no way he couldn’t now, you we’re so close…it would wound his pride if he didn’t. Your weight on his face combined with the feeling of your hands on his arousal made him struggle to breathe a bit but he didn’t care. He grabbed your thighs and pulled you even further down onto his face, making his tongue reach deeper than before. His hands moved up to your breasts, fondling them, causing you to cry out in overstimulation. The feeling was too extreme, your body couldn’t take any more, you stroked his hard faster, and in an instant- you both came. Your hips bucked, back arched as a loud whine of his name filled the room. You continued to milk his cock as your fingers were drenched with his seed. He groaned and swallowed everything you had to offer. You slowly got off his face, he let out a loud gasp of air followed by pants, his face was flushed and covered in your slick. Akutagawa sat up and wiped his face off, he turned to look at your poor exhausted body. He smirked and kissed your lips. He noticed how intense your orgasm was this time around. He was proud of himself and utterly satisfied by the fact he caused you to have such a reaction, that orgasm definitely boosted his ego.

“How was that for a stress reliever?…Im guessing it was satisfactory considering how hard you came…hm? Of course I noticed how intense your orgasm was, I expected no less considering I was the one to bring you over the edge. No other man has nor ever will make you orgasm that fervidly, only I can provide you with such pleasure…now get some rest..”

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Jesus- trying to find synonyms for “dick” is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack

Saying “cock” so many times gave me a stroke- (hah- get it? Stroke?- I’ll shut up)

Anyways! As always, I hope you all liked this story!

Please feel free to request anything you’d like! Love y’all! <3

[upat4amwiththemoon]

The stars

Summary: I see my lover when I look at the stars.

Pairing: Carol Danvers x female!reader

Warnings: sexism, men, it’s the 80s, some angst

Word count: 3902

a/n: second chance romance trope, I’m so happy with this you guys!!

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore @natashamaximoff69

masterlists | guidelines

1985

Pancho’s bar wasn’t the fanciest place to work at as a young woman, especially because most of the customers are men from the air force. Their favorite past time besides drinking is trying to seduce Y/N, and get her number. But she isn’t interested in them, and never will be, though that’s something she’ll keep to herself. At least the constant flirting leads to good tips, which will eventually help her get out of the bar.

Y/N dries a glass with a rag now that she has some downtime. The rush time will start soon, so she wants to prepare for it to the best of her abilities. There are few regulars sitting either at a table or by the bar, but she knows they’ll let her know if they need anything, otherwise they like to quietly drink to their sorrows.

When the bell by the door rings, Y/N quickly glances at the new customers way, she only sees the air force logo on their clothes, making her roll her eyes. They’re out early today. She sets the cleans classes to their places and washes her hands, taking a deep breath, she gets ready for the onslaught of vulgar words.

“Hey, could we get two beers?”

Her head snaps up when she hears the feminine voice. Two women are standing in front of her with the air force clothes on and friendly smiles on their faces. Y/N stares at them with wide eyes for a moment. Sure every now and then women wonder into the bar, but she has never seen air force women come in.

Y/N regains her composure and grabs two beer glasses. “Sure thing! Which beers would you like?” Her customer service voice is cheery and slightly more high pitched than her normal one.

“Sierra Nevada, please.”

“Coming right up.” As Y/N moves to the taps to pour the beers, the two women start whispering and throwing looks between each other. Without Y/N noticing, the blonde woman’s gaze moves to places her eyes shouldn’t go. “Here you go.” She sets the beers in front of them.

“Thanks,” the woman glances at Y/N’s name tag, “Y/N. I’m Carol.” She hands some bills to pay for both of the drinks. “And this is Maria.” Carol states when she gets nudged to her side by the other woman.

“Nice to meet you.” Y/N says, her voice slower as she tries to figure out her intentions. Carol’s tone is similar to the multiple men who like flirt with her, though more genuine sounding, but surely that’s not what she is doing with her. “Here’s your change.”

“Keep it.” Carol winks before she and Maria go over to a table and sit down, leaving flustered Y/N at the bar.

She pockets the tip and start rearranging the dishes, trying to occupy her mind from wandering to incredibly good looking Carol.

When the clock strikes midnight, the bar is already at full swing. People are dancing to the loud music coming from the jukebox, and occasional bursts of laughter can be heard from the tables full of men, drunk men.

Y/N has been moved from behind the bar to the floor, bringing back empty classes and taking people’s drink orders. Because the other workers are men, they believe having a woman on the floor is better for business.

“Hey, sweetheart!” A drunken air force soldier shouts from a table full of them. He is waving his hand around in a come here motion. With a sigh, Y/N puts on her best smile and makes her way over to their table. “How much for a pretty girl like you to sit with us?” He waves a wad of cash in the air, his mouth formed in a grin that show his teeth. The others are staring at the two like it’s the best entertainment they’ve ever seen.

“Unfortunately I don’t have time to sit with customers. Is there anything else I could get you?” She smiles, holding a tray under her arm. She wants out of the situation, not liking the feeling of all the men’s eyes on her.

“Oh, come on, sweetheart.” The way the man says sweetheart makes Y/N want to gag. “Aren’t you supposed to do anything the customer want, eh? Besides, girls love money, don’t they?”

“I have to go help other customers, let me know if you want more drinks or something to eat.”

As Y/N goes to walk away from the table, the man grabs her arm. “Well hold on a second,” he slurs his words, “I ain’t done with you yet.”

Huffing, she glares at the man. She’s starting to get annoyed. “Listen, mister, I’m working right now, and have to attend to other customers as well.” Her voice has lost its cheery tone. “So, let me go.”

“Ooh, feisty!” One of the other man at the table comments. It makes the other laugh loudly, and enrages Y/N. She is aware this is a man’s world, but she is not going to be their entertainer.

Before Y/N can retaliate, someone else steps in to her rescue. “Hey. She said to let her go.” Carol stands next to her with her back straightened and shoulders pulled back. “So let her go.” Her voice is low, and her eyes are cold. She looks like someone you don’t want to mess around with.

“Well look at you,” the man scoffs, “it’s the wannabe soldier.” He sneers.

“Let the lady go, I’m warning you.”

“Oh, you’re warning me?” He stands up, still holding onto Y/N’s arm. All the humor has left him. “And what are you going to do about it?” He stands slightly taller than Carol, but it doesn’t seem to deter her.

The tension between the two start to grow. Y/N stands there, frozen, keeping her eyes on Carol. She doesn’t want to deal with this right now, her shift is supposed to end soon.

Suddenly, Carol raises her fist, and punches the man square in the jaw. He stumbles backwards into the chair he was sitting in, finally letting go of Y/N. “You bitch!” He shouts, wiping blood away from his lip. He goes to stand up, but before the situation escalates any further, one of the other bar workers come to escort him out.

“You okay?” Carol turns to look at Y/N once the men are out of the bar.

“Yeah,” she rubs the spot the man was holding onto, “thanks for helping.” Her mouth grows into a small smile. “That was kinda amazing.”

Grinning, Carol shrugs. “I have a things for saving pretty ladies who happen to work at this bar.”

Y/N lets out a small laugh as she shakes her head. “Okay, superhero.” Her voice is playful, but she can feel her cheeks flushing. “I have to get back to work now.”

“When do you get off?” Carol follows Y/N around while she picks up empty glasses.

“In twenty minutes.”

“I’ll walk you home,” she states, “me and Maria, I mean. You shouldn’t walk alone this late at night.”

Y/N bites the inside of her cheek. She glances at Carol, feeling warmth rush over her body when she sees the hopeful look on her face. “Alright. I’ll see you in twenty.” Giving her a smile, she returns back behind the bar.

Carol has a huge grin on her face as she stares at Y/N work. “What did I miss?” Maria walks over to her, having been occupied by beating a man’s ass in pool.

“We’re walking her home.”

Maria glances at Y/N, and nudges Carol’s side with a smirk. “You like her.”

“Maybe.”

1987

The front door of Y/N’s small, crappy apartment slams shut as she comes home from her shift at Pancho’s bar. It’s late at night, Y/N is exhausted, and she is sweaty, and she just wants to fall asleep without worrying about anything.

She throws her keys somewhere on top of the dresser she has next to her front door, and kicks her work shoes out of her feet. “Jesus!” A shout leaves out of her mouth when she turns around. Carol is standing there with a sheepish smile and a bouquet of flowers. “You scared the crap out of me.” She mumbles, holding a hand on her racing heart. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry.” Carol sets the flowers next to Y/N’s key. “You gave me a key, so I wanted to surprise you. I didn’t remember you were working so late.” Her voice isn’t radiating the confidence it usually is. It’s softer and nervous.

The bouquet is big, it has more flowers Y/N has ever gotten before, and it’s wrapped with pink paper. “Thank you.” She smiles, picking up the bouquet and going to her so-called kitchen to put the flowers in a vase.

Carol follows her, staying close by, but still giving her space, she can see how tense Y/N’s body is. “Tough day at work?”

“Something like that.”

It turns quiet while Y/N fills a vase with water from the tap. The apartment doesn’t have any separate rooms besides the bathroom. All the kitchen appliances, a bed, small couch and a television are within reach of each other. It’s definitely not something Y/N wants to spend her whole life in, but she can survive in it, and that’s enough for now.

“How long were you waiting?” The vase gets set down to the single counter she has in the kitchen area.

Glancing at the clock, Carol hums. “Like, a couple of hours, maybe.”

“Carol,” Y/N sighs and rubs the space between her eyes, “you should’ve gone to sleep, don’t you need to be at the base tomorrow?”

“I took a day off.”

“Why would you do that?”

“To spend time with you.” The way Carol’s voice is so gentle makes Y/N want to cry after the day she has had.

Today’s shift felt ten times worse than any other shift in the past, it was full of drunk men and angry customers who genuinely believed in the fact that customer is always right, even when they aren’t. On top of that, her manager thinks the customers are more important than his employees, so he always found a way to satisfy the angry customers, which made them see Y/N as the bad guy.

“Hey,” Carol’s hands go to her cheeks, rubbing them softly, “why are you crying?”

“Sometimes I can’t handle it all.” She gets pulled into a warm embrace. “I was supposed to get out of here ages ago and see the world, but I just can’t get out of here.” Y/N sobs quietly, trying to hold herself back so she wouldn’t ruin Carol’s clothes with her tears and snot.

But Carol doesn’t care. One of her hands is rubbing Y/N’s back, while the other rests at the back of her head. She stays quiet, letting Y/N sob it all out in peace.

The two have been officially seeing each other for a while now. For the first year and a half they mostly danced around each other, both too anxious to make the first move in case they got the wrong impression, and the other person wasn’t interested in women after all. However, during that time, they became very close friends, so when Carol finally did do the first move—thanks to Maria—they moved forward pretty quickly.

Once Y/N tears start to subside, Carol whispers, “take a shower, I’ll make you a snack and ready your bed for us, okay?” Y/N nods, gives her a small peck to the cheek, and makes her way towards the bathroom.

Carol and Y/N are laying on top of each other on the bed as they watch a random movie that’s on one of the night channels. They should be asleep, but they really wanted to spend time with each other, as they don’t have a lot of opportunities to do so.

“Can i ask you something?” Y/N’s quiet voice almost goes past Carol.

“Yeah.”

“Why air force?”

“I’ve always wanted to fly.”

“Isn’t it scary?”

“No.” Carol smiles. She loves the feeling of being free in the air, having the possibility to go anywhere in the world she desires. Y/N hums quietly, not saying anything. “Why do you ask?” Carol tries to move her head in a way she’d be able to see Y/N’s face in the light coming from the television, while not disturbing her position on top of her.

“I just think it’s dangerous is all.”

“Are you worried about me?” She grins.

Y/N’s hand is resting under Carol’s shirt, tracing different shapes on her side. “Kind of hard not to be when i’m in love with you.” She whispers. The grin on Carol’s face falls at the words. She isn’t sure if she even heard her correctly, but she really hopes she did. Y/N moves her head up to see her. “I don’t want to lose you.”

The sentence assures Carol she heard correctly. “You won’t lose me, because I’ll always come back home to you. I love you.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

They kiss, both feeling the smiles on each other’s faces. Carol tightens her arms around Y/N as they pull away. She closes her eyes and listens to the soft sounds of Y/N’s breathing melting in with the sounds of the television, as they fall asleep.

1989

Y/N paces around her house, ruining her nails by biting them. Her eyes are locked on her phone. She is waiting for a call, from anyone, as long as someone calls her and tells her she is overthinking things, that Carol is okay. She has called Maria three times by now, and the air force base once, but none of the calls have been successful.

Carol was supposed to come over four hours ago, straight from work, but she hasn’t arrived yet, nor has she called Y/N to let her know she’ll be late, that’s what she usually does.

Groaning, Y/N picks up the phone and punches in Maria’s number, calling her again. “Come on, come on.” She mumbles, tapping her foot to the ground in a rapid pace. “Damn it!” The phone drops to the table with a crash, few plastic pieces flying off of it from the impact.

No one is answering.

She sits down to the couch, it creaks slightly every time someone moves on it, which had led to some uncomfortable make out sessions with Carol.

Most of her nails are already too short to bite, so she moves to the skin around her them, biting them until she bleeds. Her eyes are locked onto the muted television, desperately trying to distract herself from her thoughts. She is aware of her tendency to overthink and catastrophize things, she always thinks Carol is dead if she hasn’t called by the time she promised to, but that was never the actual situation. This is the same case. Carol isn’t dead, she just got caught up at the base. Nothing horrible has happened.

A knock on the door makes her body relax. Carol is finally here. She lets out a relieved laugh and goes to open the door, however, her face turns to a frown once she notices Maria standing behind it.

“Hey, where’s Carol?”

Maria looks tired. “Can I come inside?” As Y/N nods, she steps in and looks at the floor. “I think you should sit down.”

“Maria-“

“Please,” she looks up at her, “sit down.”

Y/N sits back down on the couch, while Maria stays standing up. She is gathering her thoughts while trying to take deep breaths. “Carol volunteered to pilot with Doctor Wendy Lawson on something important, and the plane, uhm..it-“

“Don’t you dare say it, Maria.” There are tears gathering in the corners of Y/N’s eyes. She knows where this is going, but she wishes she didn’t.

“The plane crashed.” Maria sits down next to Y/N when she starts properly crying. “They couldn’t find anyone, Carol is classified dead. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I wanted to come tell you because no one else would’ve.” No one else knows about their relationship.

Not being able to say anything, Y/N just leans against Maria, who has started crying as well. The person they both consider closest to them, is dead.

1995

It has been a week since Carol helped the Skrulls to get out of the Kree’s line of fire, which means it’s been a week since she got her memories back. Ever since then, only one thing has been in her mind, her lover.

It’s early morning as Carol and Maria drink coffee in the latter’s kitchen, Monica still sound asleep upstairs. “What happened with Y/N when I disappeared?” Carol asks, her voice quite hesitant.

Maria sets her cup down. “I’m not sure. She was obviously pretty devastated when I told her what had happened.”

“She doesn’t still work at Pancho’s, does she?”

“I don’t think so,” Maria frowns, “but Carol, I haven’t talked to her in a long time. She stopped answering my calls three years ago. I don’t know where she is, or how she’s doing.”

Sighing, Carol stands up. “I have to find her.”

Naturally, the first place Carol goes to is Y/N’s apartment, though she really hopes she won’t find her there, that she moved on and started travelling the world like she planned to.

She knocks on the door and waits. Nothing happens, so she knocks again, just in case. She’s almost ready to let out a sigh of relief, but soft sound of footsteps coming from inside the apartment stop her. As the steps grow closer, a small, selfish part of her wishes it’s Y/N who opens the door.

Somehow she feels more pain than relief when the door opens, and Y/N stands before her.

They stare at each other, both stunned by the sight in front of them. Y/N has bags under her eyes, and her hair is messy. She is wearing an old t-shirt that once belonged to Carol, her legs are bare.

She goes to slam the door closed, thinking she has finally gone mad, but Carol’s hand stops it from moving. “You aren’t real.” Y/N’s voice is shaky. Her eyes are closed, she doesn’t want to see the person standing in front of her, because it can’t possibly be Carol.

“I’m real.” Carol whispers, but Y/N only shakes her head as an answer. “I didn’t die, I was captured by Krees after we crashed.”

“You aren’t making any sense, you aren’t real.”

“Can you let me in, please?” Gently, Carol sets her hand on top of Y/N’s hand, that is still holding onto the door. The touch makes Y/N open her eyes, and turn them towards Carol. She stares at her for a long while before opening the door wider.

As Carol walks inside the familiar apartment, she looks around for any changes, but it looks exactly the same as it did six years ago. She hates it. While Carol walks deeper into the tiny apartment, Y/N stays by the front door. Her arms are crossed over her chest in a protective kind of way.

“You weren’t supposed to stay here.”

“I couldn’t leave y-“ she stops herself, “Carol.” She isn’t entirely sure if the woman in her house truly is her Carol. “What happened? Who are the Kree?”

“It’s a long story.” She has a gentle grin on her face, one that reminds Y/N so much of the way Carol used to look at her. “You might want to sit down for it.” Y/N shakes her head, staying right where she is. Carol frowns, but nods, sitting down to the couch. It still creaks anytime weight gets put on it. “Shorter version of it is: when we crashed, Dr. Lawson told me the truth about her mission before he was shot by a Kree. Before he could kill me too, I destroyed an engine, which made me absorb energy of a Tesseract, so the Kree took me with him to their planet Hala. I was integrated to their society, I had no memories of my human life. A bunch of years later, I crashed back to Earth, a lot of fighting happened, I discovered my true power and my memories, and helped the Skrulls.”

“I don’t know what any of that means.” Y/N whispers. Any time Carol used to talk about air force things with her, she felt dumb, but all of this is making her think they aren’t even speaking the same language anymore.

“I was in space, and I have powers now.”

“Like a superhero?”

Carol smiles, nodding. “Yeah, I’m a real life superhero now.”

“You already were a superhero in my eyes.”

Standing up, she takes a few tentative steps towards her. All she wants to do is hold her, kiss her, tell her she’ll never leave her again. But Carol can still see the hesitation in Y/N’s eyes, she can see the years of pain and exhaustion in her expression.

“But then you died.”

Carol stops. She’s close to Y/N, but too far away to touch her. Oh, how desperately she just wants to feel her soft skin under her palm again, even if the years without her have hardened it. “I’m here now.” She pleads with her eyes—please believe me.

“You won’t stay,” Y/N states quietly, “if you’re a hero now.”

“I can take you with me, wherever I go. I won’t leave you again. I’ll help you get out of this place.” Carol takes another few steps forward, reaching her hand towards Y/N. “Please give me another chance.”

Y/N stares at her hand. It’s more calloused than before, rougher. She grips the skin on top of her ribs tightly, trying to ground herself, she feels like ripping herself apart.

“Please.” Her voice cracks. Her eyes are wet with unshed tears. “I can’t live without you.”

Y/N grabs her hand with her own shaking one. Carol squeezes with a smile, pulling her close slow enough that Y/N can stop her if she wishes to. Once they are chest against chest, she pulls her into a full embrace. The waterworks start from the both of them the second they’re in each other’s arms. Carol letting out all of the pent up grief she wasn’t even aware she had, and Y/N still trying to grasp the reality of the situation.

“I missed you.” Y/N chokes out between her sobs. “I missed you so much.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Carol holds onto her girl so tightly, pressing her against her body like she’d disappear if she let go. “I’m going to show you the world now, because you deserve so much better than this place. I’ll never let you go.”

Although, Y/N doesn’t trust in promises anymore, some small part inside of her sparks hope, that she’ll truly never be separated from Carol again. She’ll even go all the to the stars for her if she has to.

[imaginespazzi]

Part 5: One Perfect Day

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Let me photograph you in this light (in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were)

(In which a procrastinating writer procrastinates giving her ship happiness)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Some Fluff

Words: 7.5K

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good evening my lovelies <3. As many of you have reminded me it is indeed Friday and so here we are, nobody needs to yell at me! I know I'm years too late with this but I hope y'all like it anyways, even though this is very much mainly hurt with very little comfort. But for things to get better, they have to get worse and remember, it's all for the plot! There's plenty of creative liberty taken this chapter with how hotels and post-championship celebrations work and other logistics but I wrote it how I needed to so just go with it. Did I edit? Yes. Are there typos and errors anyway? Probably. As always, tell me what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see next. Have a wonderful weekend lovelies!!

March 2019 

The final buzzer echoes through the Williams Arena, and the disappointment of the last couple of years is finally drowned out as the Hopkins Royals win the state championship. Surrounded by the cheers of her teammates, Paige doesn’t know if she’d call this the happiest moment of her life, the stomach flu symptoms haven’t quite faded yet, but she knows it’s definitely on her mount rushmore of times when life was great. 

For a second, as she’d been crouched over the toilet with Azzi’s hands soothingly rubbing her back, feeling her soul leave with the remnants of last night's dinner, Paige had almost lost hope. But she’d never been taught to give up without a fight. And so it hadn’t mattered that she definitely looked a little green or that standing up was taking twice the energy it normally did, Paige was going to play today. It hadn’t been a flashy scoring night but she’d done everything else her team needed. And as that lead had built and built and built, Paige knew, the moment was still hers. 

“Paigeyyyyy,” Drew is the first one to find her after her and her teammates break apart, launching his tiny body into her legs, “you won!”

Paige laughs, lifting her brother into her arms and spinning him around, “I told you I was gonna didn’t I?”

One by one, her whole family, the epitome of a modern family, pull her into hugs and then they gather into one large group hug, with Paige at the centre of it all. Her siblings look at her with pure admiration while her parent’s eyes are filled with pride. And it fulfils that part of Paige that has always lived a little more for her family than for herself. 

As her family moves away slowly, Paige finds herself face to face with Azzi’s shining smile and her heart skips a beat. And she doesn’t really know when it started or even how really, but it gets a little more difficult every time she sees Azzi, for Paige to convince herself that that fluttering in her chest is nothing. 

“You look a little pale white girl,” Azzi teases, taking a couple of steps towards the blonde, “glad you didn’t vomit all over the floor.”

“Nah no bullshit flu is stopping Paige Bueckers. The flu is scared of me,” Paige juts out her chest with a smirk, earning her a patented eye roll from the younger girl. 

“Oh yeah, you’re real scary,” Azzi indulges before pulling Paige into a bone-crushing hug, “I’m proud of you P.”

Paige smiles into the crook of Azzi’s neck, basking in the glow of the compliment. It’s these little moments they have in between their constant banter, where they let themselves be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, that makes them Paige and Azzi. They pull away, still grinning. and Paige’s eyes roam over the Team Paige jersey framing Azzi’s body. It makes her feel some type of way to see the younger girl wearing her name across her chest, but it’s not a feeling Paige is quite ready to accept. Perhaps it’s been written in their destiny that someday things will change, that eventually they’ll both have to confront the something more that’s simmering underneath it all, but for now, Paige just wants to protect what they already have. 

“That’s a pretty jersey,” she says with a wink, fingers rushing over the soft material. 

“I was forced at gunpoint to wear it,” Azzi sighs dramatically, “I was actually cheering for Stillwater. Their pg’s kinda cute.”

Paige bristles at the comment, the queasiness from this morning returning with vengeance, “she’s mid as hell on and off the court.”

“Don’t be petty Paige. You think she’d let me wear her jersey instead?” 

“You know what,” Paige fights a losing battle with the quick surge of anger that’s taking birth in her stomach, “how about you take off my winner’s jersey and go to the loser’s locker room and beg for her jersey instead.”

She knows Azzi’s joking, knows the point guard on the other team isn’t even really Azzi’s type, knows that even if Azzi’s being serious, Paige doesn’t have a right to feel this way. But that green eyed monster is clawing at her heart, squeezing it and making it hard to breathe. 

“Oh- hey hey hey,” Azzi’s quick to grab at her when Paige tries to storm off, “chill dude. You know I’m just kidding.”

“Well it wasn’t funny,” Paige pouts, aware that she’s being unnecessarily childish. 

Azzi opens her mouth, about to make some smartass quip but there must be something about how genuinely frustrated Paige looks that softens her expression, “I came to watch you P. I have no idea what that other girl was doing. I was cheering for you the whole time.”

“You’re so sappy,” Paige snorts, throwing a handful of confetti at Azzi, but inside, the ice cold jealousy melts into something warm and lovely, spreading through her heart into her veins. 

“Can’t even say nice shit without you being a dick about it,” Azzi rolls her eyes, as she links her arms through Paige’s,  “now come on, let’s go celebrate you.”

***

It’s almost 2 a.m. when Paige’s teammates finally begin to filter out of her house, leaving with droopy eyes and tired smiles. She and Azzi stand in the doorway, waving goodbye to every last one of them and it feels a little domestic, like a couple after a dinner party. Paige shakes that thought away the minute it begins to form, forcing herself to ignore the burst of wouldn’t that be lovely that blooms in her chest.

“What if I just fell asleep here?” Paige sags against the doorframe. 

“You’d probably fall flat on your face and I’d get an epic video of it.”

“You’re so fucking mean to me.”

“Oh yeah right because you’re so nice to me.”

“Am to,” Paige retorts, before she makes grabby hands towards Azzi, “carry me?”

Azzi swats her hands away, “Absolutely not lazy, it’s one flight of stairs.”

“That’s like 20 steps,” Paige whines. To be honest, she’s not that tired. Out of the two of them, she’s probably closer to being a night owl. But Paige is nothing if not a little bit of nuisance, especially when it comes to Azzi. 

“Are you an athlete or not,” Azzi chides, rolling her eyes. 

“Bro I just won a championship AND I had the flu. And you won’t even carry me? What kind of best friend are you?”

“Paige.”

“Azziiiiii.”

“Paige I’m tired.”

“Pleeeeeaseeee.”

The younger girl sighs, a sign of her caving in, before turning around so her back is facing Paige's front, “fine, get on you big baby.”

“YES-”

“Dude shut up, you’re gonna wake everybody up,” Azzi groans, always the responsible one. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Paige whispers as she jumps onto Azzi’s back, the force of it causing the brunette to take a couple steps forward, “fucking hell Azzi don’t drop me.”

Azzi lets out an indignant squawk, as she regains her balance,  “with that attitude, I should drop you.”

“If you’re too weak to carry me, just say that,” Paige teases, wrapping her legs firmly around Azzi’s torso.  She buries her shit-eating grin in her best friend’s neck, as she loops her arms around Azzi’s shoulders.

“It is not my fault you’ve put on like a hundred pounds since I last saw you.”

Azzi squeals when Paige pinches at her ribcage and the blonde immediately slaps a hand on her best friend’s mouth, “what happened to being quiet? Now, onwards horsey- OW! Did you just fucking bite my hand!?”

“What happened to being quiet?” Azzi mocks, adjusting Paige’s weight on her back as she begins to walk towards the staircase, grumbling something under her breath about ‘ungrateful best friends’ but Paige knows she doesn’t mean a word of it. She snuggles further into Azzi’s neck, letting herself breathe in the scent of the younger girl. 

When Azzi had first left Minnesota, after they’d spent every second since the plane ride back from Argentina, Paige had thought that that hollowness in her chest was temporary, that it would fade once she got back into daily life. It didn’t. And the thing is the word miss had existed in Paige’s dictionary before too but she doesn’t think she really understood what it meant til she started to miss Azzi. 

As soon as they reach Paige’s bedroom, Azzi’s already swatting Paige off her back. The blonde falls back onto the pillows on her bed with a content sigh, watching with a cheeky grin as Azzi pretends to stretch out the muscles on her back and her arms.

“I think that might have broke my fucking back,” the younger girl groan, face scrunching up in mock exhaustion, “and I have to sit on a plane again tomorrow.”

That wipes the smile straight off Paige's face. It’s so easy to get lost in the moment with Azzi, so easy to forget that they spend less time together than they do apart. They haven’t bothered with the actual lights but even in the dim glow of the moon through Paige’s windows, Azzi sees her best friend’s change in expression clearly, her own face becoming melancholic. Sighing, she climbs onto the bed herself and lies down next to Paige, intertwining her hands with the older girl’s. 

“You could stay a little longer,” Paige says after a moment, eyes resolutely focused on the ceiling. 

Azzi let out a wistful sigh, “I wish. But you know I can’t.”

“You can, you just won’t, little miss goody-two-shoes,” the light-hearted teasing eases some of the mood as they both let out soft giggles. They dissolve into a comfortable silence before, “I can’t wait til we’re playing for UConn together.”

Paige misses the way Azzi stiffens a little next to her, too enthralled with imagining a future where she and her best friend could conquer the world together. She knows Azzi, with all her indecisive tendencies, hasn’t quite come around to being anywhere near ready to pick a college team yet but Paige still has time to convince her and Paige Bueckers is nothing if not persuasive. 

“So it’s definitely UConn then?” 

“Yeah. I mean it’s UConn dude. The UConn. They’re the best. All these other programs are nice but when UConn calls, you don’t say no to that shit,” and Paige means that with all her heart. As the number one recruit in her class, there had been no shortage of offers and of course Paige had entertained them for a little while. But the minute Geno Auriemma had given his offer, everything else had become obsolete. She hadn’t committed yet, still maintaining a façade of being in the decision stage, but all of that was just a front. Paige knows she’s meant to be a UConn husky, there’s no way around it. 

“I think you’ll make a pretty damn good Husky,” Azzi says with a soft smile, as she absentmindedly plays with Paige’s fingers. 

“We’ll make damn good Huskies,” Paige affirms. 

“I don’t know P, California’s pretty tempting,” it’s said teasingly but a hint of seriousness slips through the cracks anyway. 

Paige scoffs, “cause it’s hot? Bruh that much heat would be boring. Connecticut gets all four seasons. We’d get the heat and the snow.”

“I get all of that in Virginia already,” Azzi points out with a huff, “maybe I want something different.”

“You do get something different. You get to play with me. That’s different.”

“Yeah but-”

“Dude why are you fighting me on this? Do you not want to be on the same team as me or something?” Paige asks agitatedly, suddenly feeling frustrated with the turn the conversation had taken. 

“Okay breathe,” Azzi gives her a stern side-eye, “I was just saying California’s nice. Of course I want to be on your team. Did the shirt not make that obvious?”

Involuntarily, Paige has to smile at the memory of Azzi’s jersey, the team Paige that had been loudly imprinted across her chest, “right, sorry got a little carried away. I just always want you on my team, you know?”

“I’m always on Team Paige. I always have been. I always will be,” Azzi says firmly, as if it’s the most obvious truth in the world.  

When Paige turns her head to look at her best friend, the younger girl is already looking back at her and the sincerity in Azzi’s eyes makes Paige’s heart stutter. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige swears she can see every little detail in the dim light. And the thing is Paige has always known Azzi’s a pretty girl, she’s not blind. But it’s different tonight. Tonight Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that Paige wants to memorise until it’s imprinted in the back of her eyelids, the kind of beautiful that she wants to lock away in a treasure chest and preserve only for her own eyes to ever see again. The kind of beautiful that Paige knows she isn’t allowed to think of Azzi as. But still, right now, Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that makes Paige want to try and see if maybe, just maybe, there’s the possibility for something more. 

That night, when she finally falls asleep to the sound of her best friend’s quiet breathing, Paige dreams of UConn and championships and at the end of it all, kissing Azzi under the confetti. 

***

April 2024

There’s 14 seconds left in the National Championship game and UConn is ahead by eight points. Adrenaline courses through Paige’s veins as that one elusive dream of hers seems to finally be coming closer and closer to fruition. Winning a National Championship had been on her mind since she’d first picked up a basketball. The minute she’d committed to UConn, it had felt inevitable and yet year after year, her team had fallen just a little short. But this afternoon, it seems like it’s finally within grasp. 14 seconds to go. 14 steps closer to having her perfect moment. 

Except, every time Paige had imagined this moment, she’d expected her best friend to be there. In the beginning, before everything, she’d dreamed of them being on the court together, running into each other’s arms the minute the buzzer sounded. And then, until the last second today before she had to take the court, Paige had just assumed that when she’d look in the stands, somewhere in the crowd, there’d be the one face she wanted to see most in the world. But no matter how much she squinted, that face had been nowhere to be found and Paige had forced herself to compartmentalise her disappointment, and focus on the game. She hadn’t looked at the crowd since. 

The ball is in the other team’s hands, their point guard, diligently calling out plays before she inbounds it. Coach’s words echo in Paige’s head, try for a clean steal but don’t under any circumstances foul. Their pg inbounds the ball and the shot clock starts to count down. The ball bounces through the hands of different players on the other team but the UConn defence is stifling. Their coach is out of timeouts and it isn’t until the last millisecond that they heave up a prayer shot. And it doesn’t matter if it goes in, it’s a two point possession game, but Paige’s eyes are glued on the basketball anyways. 

The shot is an airball. The buzzer sounds through the arena. UConn wins their 12th national championship. 

For a second, everything goes silent around Paige. The normally over-excitable girl, known for her insane golden retriever energy, is perfectly still. It takes a couple more seconds for the adrenaline to hit. And then she’s screaming, pummeling her body into the rest of her teammates as the bleed blue crowd goes wild. She loses herself in the noise of her teammates cheering and the bright lights of cameras flashing nearby. They did it. And it doesn’t erase just how fucking hard the last couple of year had been, but it makes the burden significantly lighter. 

Paige rushes through the handshake line, the opposing team’s coach giving her an appreciative review of her performance before she’s recaptured into a group hug by her teammates. It’s a surreal feeling really, one that’s far better than even her most wonderful dreams. For the first time since the game began, Paige lets her gaze wander over to the family section who are all tearfully hugging, smiling at her parents and then her siblings and then- 

When her eyes meet Azzi’s, it’s like the last piece of the puzzle has finally settled into its rightful place, completing the perfect picture of Paige’s perfect moment. A #5 UConn jersey hangs loosely against Azzi’s hips as she smiles shyly at her best friend. And Paige is scared to blink, scared if she looks away, the girl in front of her will disappear. It takes everything in her to not rush into the stands, pull her best friend into her and kiss her under the confetti. 

Azzi doesn’t budge when the rest of the family and friends crew start to move towards the court. There’s too much attention, too much media, for that to be a feasible option. Paige wishes they would all just disappear, let her have her moment the exact way she’d pictured it. She thinks she’d like to fulfil that dream of hers, kiss Azzi in the confetti, twirl her around, and between it all, let the world know that she was Paige’s. 

As always, Drew is the first person to reach her. He’s a little too big for her to pick up, but she spins him around anyway. 

“You won Paigey,” her little brother squeals and he might be older now, but that innocent admiration of his older sister is as palpable as always, “I knew you could do it!”

“Thanks for always believing in me, little dude,” Paige says softly, leaning her cheek against the top of Drew’s head.

Over the top of her brother's head, Paige realises with sudden panic that Azzi’s not there anymore. Dread filters into her bloodstream, the voices in her head screaming it was too good to be true. The way her body tenses doesn’t go unnoticed by her mother who’s quick to hold her. 

“She said to tell you she’d see you at the hotel later,” Amy Jo says with a knowing smile, before letting Paige’s body sag into hers. She rubs her daughter’s back as relief settles into the younger girl's features, “proud of you Paigey.”

Paige smiles into her mother’s chest. Last year had been the hardest of her life and for a while the light at the end of the tunnel had been hard to see. Today, she feels the light surrounding her, washing away all the darkness from the last few years, bathing her in the glow of happiness. 

***

“I always knew you’d look good in a UConn jersey.”

Azzi’s eyes fly open and Paige smirks, leaning her body against the wall. The last couple of hours had been a whirlwind of media, champagne and excited chatter about what the after party would be like. Paige’s focus had been on celebrating, but the thought of getting back to Azzi had been a constantly lingering presence in the back of her mind. And as the bus had gotten closer to the hotel, anxiety had creeped in because what if Azzi wasn’t there? What if she’d changed her mind? 

Paige had smiled for the fans outside the hotel, diligently posing for pictures and signing autographs, ignoring the heaviness in heart. But as soon as she was far away from prying eyes, she was bolting towards her room. And then everything was okay. Paige has heard a lot of cliché things about love, about how it makes you hear violins and see stars and all of that, about how it increases your heart rate and makes you flush. But Paige thinks all of that can’t quite be right. Because when she’d seen Azzi, curled up in her sheets, #5 jersey crumpled but still fitted around her body, Paige had only felt a sense of calm. And that Paige thinks, is probably the actual truth of love, it’s about finding peace and to Paige, Azzi has always been her peace. 

“I’d look great in any jersey,” Azzi claps back groggily, moving to sit up. 

“But you look the best in mine. You always have,” Paige tries to keep her voice teasing, but it comes out sounding rather wistful, and the next words are even softer, “you came.”

Azzi bites her lips, looking down at her fiddling thumbs, “you asked me to.”

Those four little words carve themselves into a little crevice in Paige’s heart as if they’ll stay there forever, as if they’ll echo through her entire body for the rest of time. She practically throws herself onto the younger girl, the force of it pushing Azzi back down into the pillows, as she buries her head in the crook of Azzi’s neck. Their legs slot together of their own accord and it’s a little bit like they’re trying to meld into each other’s skin the way they press themselves as close as possible, til there’s barely space for air in between them. They lie like that for god knows how long; it goes by in a rush and yet ever so slowly. 

“I’m really fucking happy you’re here,” Paige whispers into Azzi’s skin, “really fucking happy.”

Azzi doesn’t say anything, humming into Paige’s hair as she tightens her grip on the blonde’s waist but Paige can tell by the way she stiffens underneath her, that Azzi’s holding herself back from something. Her heart hammers in her chest as she lifts her face from Azzi’s neck to inspect the younger girl’s face. 

“What aren’t you saying to me Az?” she whispers quietly with a sinking feeling.

“Paige,” Azzi closes her eyes. And just that is enough for Paige to understand exactly what’s going through her best friend’s head and suddenly she wishes she’d never asked, just let them have this moment. 

“Never mind, I don't want to hear it.”

“That’s not how that works. I- I wanted to wait a little but we- we need to talk.”

“No we don’t,” Paige retorts stubbornly, fighting the tears threatening to spill, “I don’t want to.”

“Paige-”

The girl in question pushes herself off of Azzi, rising to sit on her knees, “this is meant to be the best day of my life Azzi.”

“I know- I’m sorr-”

“What game are you playing, Azzi? Why even fucking come if you were never gonna stay?” Paige spits out. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have,” Azzi says softly, as she sits up “maybe- maybe I should have stayed away. But it’s you Paige, it’s you and I- I’ve never been that good at staying away from you. And maybe I’m just really selfish but I- I told you once that I wanted to be there when your dreams came true and so- here I am.”

They’d barely known each other when Azzi had said that, when they had just been young innocent girls with a tentative friendship, lying in the grass and sharing their dreams. Back then, the words had thrown Paige off. She hadn’t quite understood why they had meant that much to her, why they had filled her with more warmth than the sun shining above them. But she’d tucked them away in a little corner of her heart hoping she’d understand it better when she was older. She’s older now and she understands. Except every single emotion she’d felt at fifteen is heightened with the realisation that the words had meant something to Azzi too. And-

Paige surges forward to kiss Azzi. She’s pretty sure this bipolar act of theirs will be the death of them someday but it’s the only thing in the moment that makes sense. Azzi is hesitant at first, clearly too in her head, always the overthinker, but she gives in when Paige squeezes at her waist. It’s not as if they’ve kissed that many times before but it feels familiar, a little bit like coming home. She moves to straddle Azzi’s hips and they can’t get any closer really with every bit of their bodies pressed together now, but Paige tries anyways, tries to etch please don’t leave me into the other girl’s skin. And she isn’t sure if the salt she can taste is from the tears steadily streaming from Azzi’s eyes or the ones free-falling from her own. 

The minute Azzi pulls away, Paige misses her. 

“We can’t-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Paige cuts Azzi off immediately, resting her forehead against the younger girl’s, “please.”

“Paige,” Azzi breathes out, “I have to go.”

“No you don’t,” Paige says stubbornly. 

“Paige please-”

“Stay- fuck please- Azzi- just give me tonight. Tomorrow we can talk and you can-,” Paige swallows, not wanting to say leave out loud, “but please- tonight can we just pretend? Can you give me that? Fuck- can I just have tonight? Please- just- stay.”

Azzi lets out a shaky breath, “it won’t make it hurt less.”

“I know- fuck- I know but I just don’t want it to hurt right now.”

“Okay,” Azzi whispers slowly, thumb caressing Paige’s wet eyelashes, “okay, I’ll stay tonight.”

Paige kisses her again. 

***

The UConn team falls in love with Azzi in a matter of hours. No one had been shocked when Paige had shown up to the after party a.k.a everybody gathering at the hotel bar, fashionably late and with a nervous Azzi teetering behind her. It had been awkward at first; everyone was a little unsure of how to act around the new presence. Not only was Azzi from a rival team, but everyone was at least a little aware of her tumultuous relationship with their star player. But then KK had wanted to film a tiktok that needed someone to do random camerawork and when everybody else had groaned, Azzi had quietly volunteered. Much to KK’s delight, Azzi turned out to be quite the cameraman. And that apparently was all that was needed and Paige marvels at the way Azzi just fits.

She moves around Paige’s team as if they’re just as much hers. One second she’s timing some stupid drinking game that KK and Ice are playing, the next she’s sitting in a corner laughing with a more subdued Ash and Q. 

Aubrey and Ayanna gush over their girlfriend and Azzi’s coos over their pictures, a hint of wistfulness on her face when she meets Paige’s eyes. 

The team does their routine of teasing Aaliyah’s about being vegetarian and Azzi diligently backs the Canadian up with a spiel of how tofu isn’t actually that bad. That gets her a hi-5 from Aaliyah despite the eye rolls from the rest of the team. 

Despite being a little tipsy from having been dragged into doing shots with Amari and Carol, the two other people she knows pretty well, Azzi diligently lets Inés and Jana teach her little bits of Portuguese and Egyptian. 

Even Nika sheds her frostiness, amused by Azzi’s curiosity to learn her native language beyond just the curse words, and teaches the younger girl a couple of words. Azzi rolls her eyes fondly when she realises she’s been taught to say UConn is the best team ever in Croatian and amidst Nika’s laughter, Paige knows is a hidden acceptance. 

But the best part of it is that although Azzi’s suddenly being pulled in all different directions by various UConn girls, she never really leaves Paige’s side through it all. There’s always a little bit of them touching, whether it’s their shoulders or their knees, even when they’re both involved in completely different conversations and activities. It feels oddly domestic and Paige is reminded of the part after her state championship all over again. The burst of i want this forever that stirs in her chest makes her want to sob because it collides head first against a wall of this is only for tonight. And Paige knows that one night won’t ever be enough for her. 

“Aye Paige’s girl, come play truth or shots with,” KK’s loud voice breaks through Paige’s cloud of distress and it’s eclipsed by the implication of those two words. 

Paige’s girl. The phrases makes itself home in Paige’s heart, sounding so fucking right. She hasn’t let herself acknowledge it truly ever but that’s how it’s always been in Paige’s mind. It’s how she’s always thought of Azzi. As hers. Her Azzi. Her girl. 

“I’m not-that’s not-” Azzi’s cheeks are tinted pink as she stutters through her words, withering under KK’s cocked eyebrow. 

“Uh-okay if you say so,” KK rolls her eyes, holding her hands up in a sarcastic defensive position, “guess we’re starting off truth or shots by lying.”

The rest of the team laughs as Azzi’s blush grows even deeper and Paige can’t even try and hide her smile, her own neck tingling a little bit as she tucks herself into Azzi’s side. And it’s not real, they’re not anything, but in this moment it feels a little bit like they’re everything. 

“You guys are sickening,” Ice accuses when she notices the two of them cheesily smiling at each other, “it makes me gag.”

“They’re cute. Leave them alone,” Caroline chastises, ever the supportive friend. 

Azzi leans back against Paige’s arm as the group goes around the circle, asking each other ridiculous questions, cheering like little kids when their teammates opts to drink instead of answering a vaguely invasive question. When it’s her turn, Paige can already tell by the glint in KK’s eyes that her menace mini-me is about to cause trouble. 

“Paigey cakes, when’s the last time you had sex?”

Next to her, Paige can feel Azzi stiffen immediately. The shot feels heavy in Paige’s hand as she seriously contemplates taking it. She knows why KK asked the question, probably having concocted some idea of exposing Paige and Azzi. She’d known by the waggling eyebrows that the whole team had thought the two of them were late because they’d been fucking but that couldn’t be further from the bitter truth. 

Paige chances a look at Azzi’s face as she bites down on her lips. The younger girl’s face is stoically devoid of any emotion and Paige knows she’s thinking about the night of the crash (or as Paige likes to call it, the most terrifying night of her life) except- 

“November, last year,” Paige says slowly and Azzi whips her face around to look at her, lips falling apart in shock. 

“Don’t play, there’s no fucking way,” Ice guffaws and Paige shrugs. 

“It’s the truth.”

“Bruh what the fuck,” KK looks a little shell-shocked, “how the fuck did you survive that long?”

“Some of us actually know what to do with our own fingers,” Paige quips defensively, trying to ignore the butterflies dancing in her stomach at the way Azzi’s still looking at her. 

“I bet Azzi knows all about your fingers huh Azzi?” and even that, KK’s unhinged commentary, isn’t enough to get Azzi to pull her gaze away from Paige. It’s almost as if she hadn’t heard it all. 

“You didn’t- that night?” Azzi manages to get out. 

“Couldn’t do it,” Paige mumbles, “she wasn’t you.”

Despite the horde of people around them, they’re in their own little bubble now. There are a multitude of questions swimming in Azzi’s eyes and Paige wants to answer all of them if it means that maybe just maybe, she could prevent the inevitable misery tomorrow would bring. 

“Okay Azzi, it’s your turn,” Amari’s voice draws Azzi’s attention away and Paige feels cold without the heat of it. She doesn’t know how she’ll survive tomorrow. Living in the present isn’t working and Paige finds herself already feeling the emptiness she knows will become her reality in a couple of hours. Her fingers tap an incessant pattern on her thigh as she tries to keep her focus on the game, 

Azzi swallows nervously before mustering up a grin with false confidence, “I’m ready. Hit me with your best, I’m not drinking.”

“We’ll see about that,” KK smirks, diabolically rubbing her hands together, before she turns to Nika, “all yours Nik-Nik.”

The other girls “ooh”, knowing  Nika’s reputation for being notoriously good at this game. The Croatian grins at Azzi, as she sits up from where she’d been lazily lying on the love seat, a glint of mischief in her eyes. And then her eyes meet the forlorn ones of her twin and something shifts. When she looks back at Azzi, there’s a more serious look on Nika’s face. 

“Have you ever been in love?”

There’s pin drop silence once the gravity of the question registers. The light-hearted air in the room is replaced with anticipation, as all of Paige’s teammates look back and forth between their point guard and her best friend. Paige isn’t sure if she wants to know the answer, doesn’t know if there’s an answer that wouldn’t break her heart just a little bit. For a second, it looks like Azzi’s going to drink until she puts the shot down on her hand rest until- 

“Yes,” she confesses in a whisper, and Paige feels her heart begin to race, “I have.”

“How many times?” Nika prods

“That’s not how the game works. I already answered your question.”

“Different rules for newcomers,” Nika shrugs. It’s a blatant lie but nobody says anything. Paige is still caught up in her own head and the other girls won't challenge Nika, not when they’re just as curious, “I get to ask questions til you drink.”

Azzi narrows her eyes, knowing it’s all bullshit and maybe if she wasn’t a little bit tipsy and competitive, maybe if she couldn’t feel every inch of Paige’s side pressed against her, she’d walk away but she can’t. 

“Only once,” she answers. 

“With your ex-girlfriend?” Nika asks. The way she raises an eyebrow suggests there’s only one right answer to the question. Paige doesn’t know if there’s a right or wrong answer, only that there’s an answer that would shatter her. 

“No. I was never in love with her,” Azzi directs the answer towards Nika, but everyone knows it’s meant for Paige’s ears. And despite the tornado still roaring in her body, the blonde lets out a sigh of relief. 

Nika’s intimidating demeanour cracks a little bit when that answer makes her smile, “are you in love with someone right now?”

Even if it’s not said out loud, the implication of Nika’s question, the someone, is clear. And suddenly Paige doesn’t want to hear the answer, not right now, not when they’re both a little tipsy, not when they’re surrounded by all her teammates, not when their future is so unclear. 

“Drink,” Paige cuts in, holding the shot in front of Azzi, “don’t answer it.”

“Paige-”

“Drink Azzi,” Paige says firmly. 

Azzi looks equal parts relieved and frustrated as she downs the drink, happy to have gotten out of the uncomfortable round of questioning but a little annoyed at losing in front of the UConn girls. 

“And you said you wouldn’t drink,” Nika sneers, as she hi-5’s her teammates. 

“Because you bent the rules; she did great,” Paige defends immediately and everyone snickers, the mood in the room returning to something more casual.

“So fucking pussywhipped,” Ice teases. 

“Shut up,” Paige whines, hiding her face against Azzi’s shoulder as everybody else laughs. If the voices in head screaming this is just for tonight would shut up for a second, Paige thinks maybe she could fall in love with this moment, surrounded by her found family. 

It’s almost 3 am when the team decides maybe they should start going to bed, knowing they have a morning flight back to Connecticut. Everyone else is still in a jovial mood, sufficiently drunk of both alcohol and the high of a championship but Paige’s stomach pools with dread. Every minute is a step closer to a goodbye, she’ll never be prepared to say. 

They get to the lobby of the hotel when Paige turns to Azzi, ignoring her anxiety to be a nuisance instead. 

“No,” Azzi says immediately when she sees Paige making grabby hands at her, “there’s literally an elevator Paige.”

“So? That just makes it easier for you. This is tradition.”

“In what world is this a tradition?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly. 

“Since I won the state championship,” Paige grins, “pleeeeease, I’m tired, my feet hurt.”

Azzi gives her an unimpressed look, “you’ve been sitting for the last couple of hours.”

“And before that I was winning a championship, after beating your team by the way,” Paige’s smirk widens when Azzi guffaws at catching a stray. 

“Oh fuck off. Reminding me of that is not the way to get me to carry you by the way.”

“C’mon Az, you know you’re gonna give in anyway. You know you wanna sleep, stop wasting time.”

Azzi rolls her eyes with a dramatic sight before doing exactly what she always does, giving into Paige, “hop on then you big baby.”

Paige cheers, latching on Azzi’s back as her knees circle around the other girl’s waist. Unlike when they were younger, Azzi’s doesn’t stumble anymore at the additional weight. She’s stronger now, completely solid and steady underneath Paige and that absolutely doesn’t trigger any inappropriate thoughts in the older girl’s brains, absolutely. 

“Y’all are so cringe,” KK crinkles up her face when she turns to look at them as they wait for the elevator, but there’s a certain amount of fondness in her voice, “but Azzi’s cool. Much cooler than you P boogers. You should bring her around more often.”

Paige’s smile vanishes in tandem with Azzi letting out a strangled noise. KK looks between the two of them, slowly realising maybe she’d just put her foot in her mouth. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Paige answers noncommittally, trying to keep her voice steady. 

Much to her relief, the elevator dings open, saving her from having to say anything more. She wraps her arms tighter around Azzi, burying her face as far into the other girl’s neck as she can and closing her eyes, trying to lose herself in Azzi, instead of in the jail of her own mind.

She doesn’t look up from where she’s nestled into Azzi’s skin, when the rest of her teammates start towards their own separate rooms, telling Azzi how lovely it was to meet her. 

“Can you get off her back, so I can give her a hug?” Ice pinches Paige’s arm but the older girl just shrugs her off. 

“No. Go hug someone else.”

“Bro you’re so fucking annoying,” Ice groans and Azzi sends her an apologetic wink but it doesn’t go unnoticed that she doesn’t try to shake Paige off like she normally would. It heals something in Paige to know that Azzi doesn’t want to let go either. And she doesn’t understand why they’re doing this, why they’re fighting this, when neither of them want to. 

“I think your teammates might like me better than you,” Azzi teases when they finally get back to the room and Paige climbs off of her back. The blonde is too lost in her thoughts to come back with a smart quip. And of course her best friend notices it immediately, nudging her quietly, “P? You good?”

Paige blinks up at Azzi, and even before she says the word, she knows Azzi’s already read them in her eyes, “I don’t want you to go.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs tiredly, “what happened to pretending tonight?”

“Fuck pretending,” Paige blames the alcohol for how loud her voice comes out, guilty only because it makes the girl in front of her flinch, “I don’t want just tonight. It’s no where near fucking enough. I want forever. With you.”

“That’s not- Paige- we live on different sides of the country.”

“For now, but we can make it work. It’s us,” Paige pleads desperately. 

Azzi scoffs, stepping away from Paige, “you say that like it a good thing.”

“What-”

“Us! We don’t- it’s not- being ‘us’ is not a good thing Paige. May us from before but us now? Us now is complicated and messy and hard and I just- I can’t do this Paige.”

“You can- we can- Azzi- just- think about it okay- sleep on it- you’ll see. You’ll see, I’m right.”

Azzi shakes her head, closing her eyes as a single teardrop leaks out, “you’re making this so fucking hard Paige.”

“I don’t want to- I’m sorry- I’m so sorry baby,” the term of endearment slips through Paige’s lips before she can catch it, “but I need you to think about it once please.”

She moves to cup Azzi’s cheeks, thumb caressing away the tears, “please.”

“Okay, okay,” Azzi nods, resting her forehead against Paige’s, “I’ll think about it.”

They’re quiet as they get changed for bed, thinking about the same thing. Co-existing together comes naturally to them after years of inhabiting each other’s space and the. there's no getting in each other’s way, even if they’re both dead silent. It’s awkward when they finally get into bed, both of them lying on their back, resolutely staring up at the ceiling. Paige is the first one to move, turning onto her side so she can face Azzi. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige thinks that so much has changed, but Azzi’s still that kind of beautiful, the same kind of beautiful Paige had thought of her as since the state championship. 

“What was your answer going to be,” she asks quietly. 

“To what?”

“To Nika’s question. Are you in love with someone right now?”

Azzi hesitates a little bit, before turning her own body to face Paige, “you know the answer Paige, you don’t need me to say it.”

Paige doesn’t prod, knowing they were too volatile for her to keep pushing. Instead she reaches over to intertwine their hands together. 

“Do you know what my answer would have been?”

“Yeah,” Azzi says softly, squeezing her hands, “yeah I do.”

Maybe there’s peace in knowing. Or maybe there’s only more pain. Paige doesn’t know if the truth sets her free, doesn’t know if she could ever even be set free from the shackles that bind her to Azzi, doesn’t think she even wants to be set free. But at least Azzi knows too. Maybe there’s peace in drowning together. 

***

Paige wakes up in a panic when she reaches over and finds the other side of the bed empty. She gets up with a jolt, eyes frantically searching for Azzi, until they finally land on the girl sitting on the couch next to the bed. 

“Fuck,” Paige’s voice is still wracked with sleep, “I thought you left.”

“That’s more your style,” Azzi says and Paige flinches at the reminder, “how’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. How about you?”

“Pretty shit actually” Azzi admits, “I woke up every two seconds, scared you’d be gone.”

“Az-”

“You asked me to believe in you- to believe in us and I-” Azzi draws in a sharp breath and Paige knows she’s not going to like where this is going, “I want to- I really, really, wish I could. But I don’t. I can’t- I can’t be with you Paige- not when I’m scared you’re going to break my heart every second.”

“Azzi,” Paige scrambles across the bed, stopping when the girl in question holds her hands up. Everything in her feels like it’s on fire. There are no burn marks on her skin but she swears she’s been turned to ashes underneath. 

“And you deserve better than that too Paige. You deserve someone who- who’s not scared. Who can give you all of herself without- without holding back and I- I can’t do that.”

“You can- fuck- Azzi you can- please,” desperation leaks through every syllable as Paige fights what she knows is a losing battle. 

“Not right now. Too much has happened between us and we can’t- we can’t just ignore all of that and start something new- maybe someday- but not right now.”

Azzi stands up from her seat, hesitantly walking over to Paige’s side of the bed. She cups Paige’s face, watery dark brown eyes meeting crystal blue ones that are glistening with tears. 

“Azzi please,” Paige begs, feeling everything slip away before she’d even had a chance to fight for it. 

Azzi presses her lips to Paige’s forehead, holding them there for what feels like the briefest of seconds until she’s pulling away, “I’m sorry P.”

And then she’s gone and every part of Paige’s heart is gone with her. 

[volos-togepi]

PLA boys taking care of you when you're sick

Adaman 

the moment you feel something coming on, he’s insistent that you rest

he’ll continuously be warming soup for you

oh how he worries

but he puts on a smile and takes care of you to the best of his ability

he asks Mai to take on some of his duties/tasks so he can be with you at all times, and she’s happy to do so

but not before a slight argument about it

the cuddling will be nonstop

and you bet his and your Pokémon will be joining in

he keeps you SO warm

the forehead kisses are constant

he’ll even read/share bedtime stories with you if you’re willing to listen

anything you need, he’s on it

and once you feel better, he’s resuming his leadership duties

but he’s not taking his focus away from you

he’s got you by his side

“And don’t think for a moment that I’m gonna stop pampering you because you’re better… because I’m not.”

Volo

Volo is very much a wanderer

but when you’re sick, he’s staying put

he hates to see you in such a dreadful state

and he can’t bear to leave you until you’re feeling better

while you nap, he’s out collecting herbs and medicinal leeks 

he’ll make your favorite soup

and he’ll hand feed it to you

he’s a deranged; touch starved lunatic, so you bet he’s holding you at all times

his Arcanine will be your pillow (and your heat source)

and Togekiss is your entertainment

while he’s searching for herbs and leeks, he’ll also be hunting for little trinkets for you

because his poor, sick s/o has to have something special

this man has an ABUNDANCE of stories to share with you

and he’ll share ALL OF THEM, even if you don’t ask

once you’re feeling better, he’ll pack up and head out

you WILL be getting a kiss on the cheek (or lips) before he departs

“I’ll be back soon, y/n. If you start feeling ill again, I’ve left the recipe for the soup I made on the table.”

Melli

you’re sick, and Melli does NOT like that

he distances himself from you

and not just because of how gross you sound

but he’s TERRIFIED of getting sick himself

he’ll speak to you through letters delivered by Pokémon

and they’re very sweet letters

but once Adaman finds out that he’s ‘too good’ to take care of you…

you can hear that scolding from across the Diamond Clan settlement 

Melli will slowly approach you

and he’s absolutely disgusted

you can 10000000% tell that smile is forced

but once he settles in

he’s trying his best to help you

he’s hesitant to cuddle with you

but he assumes there’s no other choice

and once he feels how hot you are, he holds you a little tighter

since he’s here, he may as well be close to you

he apologizes for being rude, something he would NEVER do for anyone else

and he’ll send Pokémon to Adaman to request recipes for soups

you’ll probably end up making them yourself, though, because Melli can’t cook at all

he’ll learn eventually

once you start feeling better, Melli does indeed get sick

because he’s always running from illness, his immune system is a bit weaker

but you’re there for him regardless

“Can I have some soup?”

[peterparkersnose]

Give In

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: suicidal thoughts, pining possibly one sided, ANGST (just a large angst piece, i wanted some joel angst so I made it), description of depression, emotional dependency on a person, arguing, fluff sprinkled in, implied age gap not specified, reference to pregnancy, mentions of substance and alcohol abuse, joel is lowkey toxic and uses reader

a/n hi loves I wrote this after the first episode aired, so if anything contradicts anything in the future in this story that is why. also, i didnt know how to end it so im sorry if the ending is a bit choppy. happy last of us sunday!

summary Y/N has feelings for Joel that she can’t control anymore

Part 2 here

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read time: 8 min 33 seconds

The harsh chill of the autumn afternoon swept your hair off your shoulders. The ration line was as long as ever, but seemed to be moving quickly. A stray dog barked as others murmured on the street. Staring down at your boots, you bit at your chapped lips.

“You’ve been avoiding me,”

His voice sent chills up your spine. He was behind you, must have slipped in line without the other person noticing. Of course now was the time he decided to confront you. And he wasn’t wrong.

Straightening your back, you turn towards him.

“Have I?” you asked, raising your eyebrows slightly. The line moved forward and so did you.

“Tess said you weren’t feeling well.”

She was partially right. It was the blatant lie you were telling the very few who were close to you. You were physically fine.

“I’m fine, Joel.” you said promptly, turning a cold shoulder to the older man.

“If you need any meds or anything…” he began. You knew Joel had anything you needed. Quite literally.

“Next!” The FEDRA soldier called, motioning for you to get in the final line. You gave Joel a tight lipped smile before disappearing in the crowd.

Back at your sad excuse for an apartment, you poked your fork at your stale meal. You tried to think about todays’s job but the thought of Joel Miller consumed you.

How his hands felt on your skin, how soft his hair could be, how much he respected you in private. Flashbacks of previous nights where he had snuck over and stayed with you burned in your brain.

You never thought the hookup would turn in to feelings. Especially in this world. Feelings you were sure he wouldn’t reciprocate. Joel wasn’t a very emotionally available man. And he had Tess- rumors of them being together had been going on for years. Sure, they deny it. But you see the way he looks at her sometimes. His eyes burn with the lust you want from him, but there staring at her.

Tess was friendly and all, you got along quite well with her in fact. Jobs worked with Tess usually went better than others. But the knowledge that she goes home to him every night almost ate you alive. You felt used every time you would watch her turn the alleyway to their apartment.

Roommates my ass.

It had been over a month since the last time you saw Joel.

He was right, you were avoiding him. Taking the jobs you knew he wouldn’t dare go by such as childcare. Taking a different route home to avoid any run ins. Leaving your lights off and sitting in the dark to possibly deter him away from your place. All your little queues worked.

And the pain grew day by day.

You layed in your mattress with your face buried in your pillow. It stopped smelling like him weeks ago, but you liked to pretend it still did.

You couldn’t live like this anymore.

Pills weren’t numbing enough. Alcohol wasn’t as fun as it used to be. The constant state of depression in this damned district was enough to make you want to end it.

But seeing him across the alleyway talking to a group of people or in the line for rations was enough to keep that tiny spark lit inside of you.

There wasn’t much else to look forward to in this world besides others. Living the same day your whole life is miserable without your spark of joy in it.

Sleep was close, you could feel it. Your thin blankets were just cutting it for the night. As the dreams began to dance in your head, you were awoken by a quiet knock on your door.

“For fucks sake,” you groaned, flipping over in bed. You ignored the knocks. They became more persistent.

The old doorknob then dropped to the floor, startling you awake. You didn’t even have to guess who it was. The door slowly creaked open as you heard him curse to himself.

“I’ll fix it later,” he sighed, picking it off your floor and placing it on your countertop. He pushed one of your folding chairs next to your table up against the door to keep it sturdy.

“So your just breaking into apartments now?” you snapped, sitting up right in bed. “I needed to see you.” he protested.

“I never knew Joel Miller to need anything.”

He sighed and rested against your countertop. “I need to know,”

“Know what?” you asked, wrapping a blanket around your exposed shoulders. A tank top wasn’t ideal to sleep in, in these conditions.

“What’s wrong.” he said bluntly. “I said there’s nothing wrong. What the hell are you doing walking around freely at night?” you yelled, realizing the time was way past midnight. The sounds of soldiers a few floors down outside your apartment began to yell. How did he move past them?

“You sick?” he asked in a more hushed tone, walking towards you. “Respiratory? Head pain? Joints? You pregnant?” he somewhat joked, looking over you in bed.

“Shut up.” you said coldly. “Can you please just go?”

You knew Joel wasn’t a good listener. “What is it?” he said sternly, sitting down next to your body in bed. He grabbed your wrist ever so slightly. Your pulse was shaking in his grasp.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

You looked at the other side of your apartment, out the window. Rain had began to slowly plague the window. Ignoring Joel’s touch, you watched as the few drops raced to the bottom of the window.

“After everything I’ve done for you?” Joel sighed, not letting go of you.

“Stop, please. J-just stop talking to me.” you said, lying through your teeth. He could sense the pain hiding behind those eyes. “I’m not leaving.” he protested.

“Look at me.”

You turned to face him. His eyes were locked on yours. A genuine worried look was on his face. He looked softer, nothing like you had ever seen before.

It was almost as if someone asked you if you were okay when you were very obviously not. Silent tears rolled down your face as you tried to catch your breathe.

The man who you couldn’t love was staring in to your soul. There was no way you ever could love him. He was too mean, too stern, too old, too angry for you. The two of you were polar opposites. But as the saying goes, ‘opposites attract’.

Joel was unsure on what to do. Tess never cried. Hell, you never cried. He racked his brain for something, just something to soothe you.

He offered out a hand. Against your better judgement you took it. Connecting his other hand to your cheek, he tried to wipe away the streak of tears silently leaving your eyes. He held you tightly in your bed, stroking your hair as your head quickly made contact with the crook of his neck.

“I wish I didn’t have these feelings,” you cried into his embrace. Joel was confused on what you were getting at, but he ignored it. He tried to shush you in a soothing way.

“No, please. I wish I didn’t have these feelings… but I do.”

Joel froze. “What?” he asked, holding you in place.

You pulled back and looked at him. It felt like the first time over again. “Look at me and tell me you don’t feel a thing.” you hiccupped.

“I…” Joel sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and letting a breathe of air go.

“Say it.” you demanded.

The silence in the room was deafening.

“I can’t.” Joel said quickly. He looked down at his knees on your mattress.

“I think you should go.” you sighed, laying back on your side and facing the opposite wall.

He listened. Finally, Joel caught a hint. The sound of him walking away made you long for him more than ever. But it was good. The feeling of him leaving, knowing you were right. Joel Miller wasn’t a man who could love. At least not anymore.

Your sudden pride stopped when you heard his boots thud against the floor. Then the all familiar zip of his jeans followed by the hit of him placing them on your wooden chair next to your bed.

He rested a hand on your thigh as he peeled up the blanket that was stuck to your legs. Slowly, he moved down next to you in the tiny space you were leaving him.

“You don’t listen.” you huffed, still not giving him enough space on the bed.

“When do I ever?” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist.

Fuck it. You gave in.

You allowed his arm to move closer to the underside of your breasts. Scooting over in bed, you gave him more space for his legs to entwine with you. His boxer’s material rubbed against the back of your thigh. It smelt like him; Wet grass and expired generic soap scent had never smelt better.

Sleep kindly greeted you once you felt his breathing slow. Trying to match his, you fell into the deep sleep you had been yearning for, for what seemed like weeks.

-

The absence in the morning was startling.

You struggled to move, hoping that the previous night was just a horrifying dream. A sigh escaped from your lips when you saw his boots sitting against the wall where he placed them last night.

The clanking sound of tools made you turn. On the other side of your small studio apartment, there he sat at your doorframe attempting to fix your door handle.

The overcast sky stayed, but you could tell it was early morning by the chatter outside.

“Shit!” Joel hissed, grabbing his finger in pain. “Damn fucking…”

He looked up and noticed you watching him.

“You alright?” you asked, watching him in amusement as he attempted to fix your door.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, sucking the tip of his finger. “Haven’t fixed a door in a good twenty years.” he muttered, wiping off the excess blood on his already dirtied jeans.

“Go back to bed, It’s still early.” he suggested, going through the tiny tool kit he had given you as a previous gift.

“This is more entertaining than sleep,” you chuckled, placing your feet on the cold ground and getting out of bed. “You want any breakfast? I don’t know if I have anything good here but…”

“Nah. Tess’l be expecting me.”

The sheer thought of Tess waiting at their home for him was enough to ruin the whole night you had before.

Joel looked up to you after your lack of a response. He noticed the demeanor change in your face. “Everything okay?” he asked, turning back to the doorknob he was almost finished fixing.

“You seem to go sour every time I mention Tess.”

“I wonder why,” you muttered under your breathe, attempting to open a tuna can for breakfast. You tried not to dry heave as the scent of the old fish met your nose. Tuna was never a favorite meal, especially for breakfast. But, it’s all you had.

Joel pretended like he didn’t hear you, but he heard you loud and clear. “We have a run to do today. You understand that, right?”

A bitter ‘mhm’ came from your lips as you shook the prepackaged coffee in your hand before ripping off the seal.

Joel sighed and placed the screw driver down dramatically. Joel’s knees cracked as he got up from his position. “You always gotta fucking act jealous. Don’t you? Ruinin’ a nice morning.”

“Jealous?” you said, raising your voice.

“What the hell do you even want from me?” you scorned, on the brink of tears. He could see through you like glass. You hated to admit it, but he knew you like the back of his hand.

Joel wished he could shout out the answer, but his ego kept it in.

You froze with your back turned to him and set down the brittle coffee mug. “Your always leaving me to go to her…”

“Because we’re business partners, Y/N. Don’t you get it? Don’t you hate livin’ the same damn day over and over again? It’s why I come to see you.”

“Stop,” you whispered, now face to face with him. “Stop yelling. Please, it’s too fucking early to get into that shit.”

“Really? Tell me you don’t loose your mind living the same day, same drama for years!” he yelled. “Always you being jealous. Don’t you ever get sick of it?”

Anger consumed you. Proof that the two of you would never work. He’s just a bitter old man.

“You know I would give anything to leave this damn QZ! To live a normal life, not fucking be here.” you yelled, with a finger now pointed at his face. You were avoiding the original accusation. Jealousy.

“Tell me.” you said, with a quieter but angrier tone. “Am I really just your fuck toy?”

Joel stepped back for a moment, stunned at what you just said. Guilt seemed to wrack his nerves as the realization hit him.

You were in love with him.

“Is that what you think?” he asked, approaching you with a sorrowful more soft look. “What else am I supposed to think? You come here, use me, and leave and go back to her.”

The feeling of letting go of all that emotion felt healing. The sudden aftermath of realizing what you just had accused him of made you feel somewhat guilty.

“No,” he sighed, grabbing your hand. “That- no. Absolutely not Y/N.”

His other hand reached for your chin, and brought your face up to his gaze. You could feel his heat on your skin.

“Understand…” he began to say. “Understand what?” you whispered back. A sly smile came to his lips.

“Give in,” he whispered, dropping your hand and wrapping his around your waist.

You melted into his grasp as he kissed you. Joel hadn’t kissed anyone in years. The hesitation from him only brought out the dominance in you.

As the two of you mutually pulled away, you wanted nothing more as to be back where you were just seconds ago.

“Understand that it’s hard.” he said, still holding you close. “I…”

“I know.” you said, cutting off his words.

You were an anxious, sorrowful over-thinker and he was the bitter, closed off introvert.

“I’ll be back,” he said, with a slighter more chipper tone. “Tonight. We have to get this damn car battery and…”

“Stay safe,”

“I promise.” Joel said. He really did not want to leave you. The thought of the two of you spending today lazily in bed was very tempting.

“But please believe me Y/N when I say, you are and never have been just a ‘fuck toy’.”

He squeezed your hand once more and then dropped it. Silence filled the apartment after he left.

The thought of how you tasted haunted Joel Miller’s mind the whole day.

Part 2

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25

[klbwriting]

If you can, any domestic Jason Todd headcanons (or fic) would do. I image something along the lines of them getting married, so what it would be like -the emotional state he would be in lol-, being pregnant with their first child two years later and emotional turmoil pt2 😭 and the child is definitely a girl because Jason is a certified dads girl ™️ perhaps a little snippet of how it would be (in terms of emotions) for him to see his family/child grow up, after such a bad upbringing and feeling at peace. At home, because he knows he is safe and loved unconditionally

OOOOO I LOVE THIS! Ok, here goes, I hope you enjoy!

Jason would be absolutely the most nervous man on the planet to even ask you to marry him. He would plan how to ask for months, carrying the ring in his pocket, a ruby of course, with black diamonds around it. He would be waiting for the perfect moment, a dinner at the nicest place he could find, a picnic on the grounds of the manor, a show that you loved, but every time he would be too nervous, his insecurities and self doubt plaguing him until finally you were the one who brought it up.

You and Jason were sitting on the couch, just hanging out watching some bad reality tv, and you looked at him. He looked back at you, the look in your eye scaring him. You were thinking about something serious, your mouth a thin line, eyes narrowing a little, and he was scrambling to figure out what he had done wrong. Was this it? Did you finally decide to leave him? Then you smiled at him. "Jason?" you said. "Yes sweetheart?" "Are you going to ask me to marry you or is that ring you're carrying around for your other girlfriend?" Jason was floored but honestly, what better time? You were looking more gorgeous than ever before, relax in your sweatpants and one of his shirts, smiling so sweet he couldn't wait another second and got down on one knee right there.

The wedding was somehow more stressful than popping the question. Jason kept expecting you to come to your senses and break everything off, leave him for someone with less baggage then him, someone who wasn't worried about the backup plans for your wedding in case Joker or Bane attacked the city. But the day arrived and Bruce brought in backup to make sure no one messed with his son's big day. Clark Kent said a quick hello to Jason before getting a call about an important story and needed to leave early, but he would send a gift. Then Diana Prince showed up, telling Bruce and Jason that she had just spoken to you and you looked amazing, just gorgeous. Then he was at the top of the aisle and watching you come towards him he didn't think his life could be any more perfect.

You pretty much spent the first couple years married in a constant state of perfect happiness. Jason was an even better husband than boyfriend, and he still somehow kept protecting the city. He was amazing and you felt so lucky that he was in your life. Then you found out you were pregnant and Jason almost spiraled. It was rough for the first couple months as he adjusted to the idea. He never honestly pictured himself as a father since his had been so epically bad. He could not imagine he would be any better. He got reckless in his patrolling, making you stress out until finally you had to tell him what was happening. The stress from him being out and not being careful was making you sick, maybe hurting the baby, and Jason realized one night when came home to find you sobbing on the bathroom floor that he needed to pull himself together. You were going to be a great parent and he would have to work on himself to be on your level. He got some help from a therapist, from Bruce, who maybe wasn't a perfect father but he was better than Jason's real father.

The birth of his daughter was the greatest day of Jason's life. You were amazing, bring a new life into this world, the beautiful little girl who stole his heart. He kissed your head, watching you hold the baby, tears in your eyes. "She's perfect," you said softly. Jason smiled and kissed her little head. "You both are perfect," he whispered. Somehow, all the fear he had had when he found out about the baby was gone, all he could think about was how he was going to be the best father he could. This girl would grow up happy, loved, and accepted for who she was.

Jason thought the first day of school was the worst day ever. His baby, his little angel, old enough to go off on her own. You thought you were emotional until you saw Jason not even holding back the tears, watching his daughter enter school for the first time, turning one time to run back and hug her daddy. He gripped her close before letting her go and gently pushing her towards her class. "What do you think?" you asked him. He swallowed hard, watching her turn and wave again, smiling wide, so confident in herself and so happy. "I feel happy, like everything is finally perfect," he said softly, heart feeling at peace for the first time.

[atinyniki]

atelophobia.

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!bangchan x f!reader x idol!lee felix

genre: angst, fluff

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, proposals, insecurities, crying, mentions of sex but no smut, suggestive jokes, lots of kissing, y/n is neglected

authors note: omggg my first fic for the 'making @miuracha happy' event !!! i really hope you love it <3 this fic really spoke to me because i guess... its just people being people. relationships have problems, but communication is so so important in order to keep it alive ! this has a happy ending, dw... this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1771

atelophobia - the fear of imperfection.

“baby? we’re home!”

you quickly check the time from the clock above the stove, cursing yourself for not finishing earlier and rushing to the door to greet them. “hey loves…”, you smile tiredly. they share a look before wrapping you in a hug, dirtying their clothes from the contact with your messy apron.

you relax in their warmth for a bit… its been a long day. “missed you, my baby…”, chan whispers. felix hums in agreement from your side, leaving tender kisses across your cheekbones. they finally pull away from you, and you assess the damage done to their clothes.

you don’t mean to make your frown so noticeable, but it’s inevitable. “what's wrong love?”

before you can answer, you crouch down and use your hands to dust off the rice flour from their clothes, apologizing profusely for ruining them. the truth is, recently, it’s felt like you’ve only made things worse for everyone. it’s thrown you into this bad mental state, thinking that your boyfriends deserve so much better.

“hey, it’s really not a big deal. we’re gonna wash up soon anyways, yeah?”, felix shoots you a tired smile.

you nod, standing back up and smiling sheepishly. “um… dinner will be ready soon. it should be done by the time you’re out.”

the both of them nod, making their way into the bedroom and then the bathroom. you rush back to the kitchen to check on the tteok, but you frown once you realize you must have boiled it for too long. the rice cakes look a little too mushy, but you hope that it’ll taste good in the tteokbokki.

about ten minutes later, you hear the two giggle as they walk into the living room. “gosh, i thought you’d have more stamina baby…”

he rolls his eyes playfully, placing another kiss onto chan’s lips. regularly, you’d be happy about it. it’s nice to have a loving relationship and be able to see their love progress alongside them, but the sight of them now makes your heart clench. 

it’s different now than it was a week ago. you feel undesirable, unwanted. why can’t you ever be intimate with them? why don’t they kiss you like that? the questions run through your mind at a sickening pace, and it takes everything in you not to cry.

chan turns his head to look at you, but you look away before he notices you staring. “gosh what are you making? i’m hungry as hell…”, he giggles.

“i’m sorry… it’s taking longer than i expected”, you mumble out. felix is the first to notice your uneasiness. “no y/n, i think he just meant… because it smells so good, you know? don’t apologize, there’s no need to rush, yeah?”

you nod, smiling at him and turning back to the pot of simmering tteok. only a couple minutes go by and you’ve plated all the food nicely, setting their meals down onto the kitchen table. “food’s ready!”

the boys rush to the table, smiling once they’ve seen the food. it pushes you further to your breaking point, seeing them smile so widely at the food, but never at you. you regularly don’t need constant reassurance, but right now it feels as if everything’s breaking apart in front of you.

to make things worse, they sit opposite to you around the small circular table. your body seems to be betraying you, your bottom lip slightly quivering, and you quickly bite it to hide your pain.

they each take a bite of their food, quickly eating due to their hunger. you smile at their eagerness, finding their puffy cheeks adorable, until you see their faces go red.

“oh my gosh… what did you put in this?”, chan asks incredulously. he obviously doesn’t mean it in a rude way, but it seems that way due to everything else that’s been going on.

“i- im sorry…”, you whisper.

you pour him some more water, and refill felix’s too. “it’s so fucking— augh —spicy!”, felix groans.

“i’m sorry.”, your voice gets even quieter with every apology, the tears brimming in your eyes. “i can’t even eat this…”

“i said i’m sorry!”, you yell.

and you break.

the tears brim over your lash line, now spilling over your cheeks, and the boys finally look up from their plates and at you. the way their cheeks are filled with water makes them look incredibly stupid, and yet it doesn’t make you laugh like it normally does.

instead, you cry even harder, knowing that you’ve put them in pain. you cover your face with your hands, not wanting to show how truly vulnerable you are.

“baby…”, chan gasps out. the two of them stand up, immediately rushing to your side. the burn of their tongue can’t even compare to the pain in their heart at this moment.

“my pretty girl… what’s wrong?”, felix coos at you. you shake your head, “i’m okay, i’m sorry…”

you feel chan’s breath ghost over your neck while he whispers in your ear. “can i touch you?”

you nod, and you’re immediately picked up by chan and set down onto the couch in felix’s lap. “what’s wrong, love? did we do something wrong?”

“i just… i don’t know. i guess the feelings have been there for a while now, but it’s never gotten this bad.”, you sigh out. the boys share concerned looks, only making you want to cry even more.

“i’m fine, really. i don’t need to be babie—“

“tell me what’s wrong, y/n.”

“chan i- it’s not that simple… there’s a lot.”

you hear felix sniffle from above you, and you pry your eyes open to look at him. you feel upset, yes, but nothing would prepare you for this guilt. “how long?”, he rasps out.

“what?”

“how long have you felt like this? you don’t have to keep it from us… you can tell us everything…”

“i just…”, you sigh, covering your face again. chan grabs your wrist loosely, running his lips over your knuckles. “don’t hide from us, baby, please… tell us what’s going on.”, chan begs.

“i just… i don’t feel like your girlfriend anymore… i just feel like a roommate that you occasionally kiss at this point. you and lix have been out so much more than usual and you… you never bring me anywhere. i just want to be loved… i want to cook with you guys… and i want to sit next to you while we eat. i want to be intimate with you like you are with eachother… and i know that sounds crazy… but i just feel so… out of the loop.”

“y/n… that’s not—“

“felix… please… i just- just a little love is all i ask for… hold me, hug me, spend time with me… just don’t make me feel invisible.”

“i… i’m so sorry…”, he whispers. you open your eyes to stare at chan, who’s basically bowing on the floor, looking away from you so that you can’t see the pain in his eyes. 

“there’s no reason to—“, before you can finish, he pulls you up from his lap to wrap you in a hug.

“there's a reason, y/n. you don’t deserve that from anyone… and definitely not from your boyfriends. you mean the world to us, you really do… we were just… dealing with some things.”

“then tell me felix! i don’t mind that you two love eachother of course, i want you to. i want you to be in love with eachother and care for eachother but i just want to be in the picture. so tell me… am i still in the picture?”

“you will always be in the picture, my love…”, you hear chan whisper from beside you.

you turn your head towards him, and you almost jump when you see the dark red velvet box. his head is hung low in shame, and all you can hear from felix and chan are harsh sobs.

he flicks open the box, the three gorgeous trio rings glimmering in the light. “chan i- i—“, felix interrupts you before you can even get another word out.

“we wanted to make it special for you… that’s why we were out so much… so excited and happy all the time. it’s because of you.”

your voice gets caught in your throat, your tears suddenly fading away. the weight on your heart seems to be lifted, and yet it’s like these two are acting like the entire world is falling apart.

but that’s because it is. you’re their entire world, and they’ve hurt you. “we don’t need a special proposal, y/n. we just need you… so what do you say?”

felix pushes you up closer to his back so that you can feel his heartbeat against it. “will you marry us?”

you clamp a hand around your mouth, trying your best to suppress your sobs, but you can’t. you nod frantically, unable to say any words. nothing could have prepared you for this moment.

chan slides the silver band onto your finger, leaning over to kiss away your tears. “oh baby… don’t cry…”

“i- i didn’t mean to ruin it… i’m sorry.”

“you don’t have to apologize, my love. i’m sorry for putting you through so much pain.”

chan finally makes space for himself on the couch, pulling your legs over his lap. he lightly strokes them up and down, felix threads his fingers through your hair. all of a sudden, your stomach starts rumbling, eliciting giggles from the boys.

“you hungry baby? we can go back and eat”, chan smiles.

“i’ll just make something else… it won’t be too long, i—“

“baby, listen. it doesn’t taste bad i swear… it’s just… so spicy.”

he kisses over your eyelids, trying his best to soothe you. “it’s okay…”

“hey… we love you, you know that right?”

“i love you both too…”

you hum in satisfaction at the feeling of their hands on you. even when it’s not in a sexual way, there’s something so grounding about their touch. “eat later… i missed you guys”

“awh baby… you’re so cute. i guess we can wait a bit, yeah?”, felix coos. you lean up to leave a peck in his cheek. a simple gesture, and yet it’s so innocently sweet. 

chan leans over to swipe another tear away from your cheek, and that’s when you know you’re okay. they care about you. you don’t have to be perfect for them to love you. they want you for the person you are and nothing else. 

and you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them.

<3

[lostlovesoul11]

[MASQUERADE]

Pairing: Jaemin X Reader Ft Jeno

Warnings: Smut, incubus, extremely dubious/non, subliminal, a lot of manipulation, mind control, posessiveness inexperienced reader, penetration, anal, (Jeno scenes), the usual filth

18+ only! No minors. Read tags beforehand.

Word count: 8k+

My kind of Jaemin 😈 happy belated birthday! Didn't have time to finish it off. Cba with typos if you see them x

Summary: An incubus created a subliminal to feed off humans sexual energy, what happens when you become one of his victims?

I can't believe you bagged Lee Jeno!" Your friend excitedly screams, pulling you closer as she grabs on to your arms and tugs you.

"I know, me too!" You responded, of course you was surpised when that occurred. Lee Jeno has been your crush for a long time, however he was always going on and off in his relationships, having a new girl almost each month.

You was happy. Finally bagging the attention one of the hottest guys around your campus was huge. Your friends have known about your long term one sided crush about him.

"Why don't you look as happy?" She questioned narrowing her eyes as you zoned out completely.

"I am," you state, "It's just that Jeno, he's so experienced and I'm... well... not so.. much. Barely. What if he doesn't like me once he finds out?"

Your friend sighs, "I don't think that matters to him."

"But every girl he's gone out with, they're all are so pretty and experienced. Know what to do in bed and I'm.. not," Insecure thoughts already forming in your head.

Come on. Everyone knows Jeno has a huge sex drive. He fucked nearly all the popular girls around. Sometimes you feel once he finds out, he won't be interested in you anymore. And it sucks because you want to fuck him so badly.

She hums as she listens to your ramble, a slight truth in your words.

"I understand, he's a popular guy and all. But if he acts like that then he's a dick."

"Yeah, you're right," you agreed on with her.

"But you should definitely fuck him though. Hey why don't you experiment with one of our friends?"

Your nose scrunched in disgust, "Ew never!"

Rolling her eyes at your reaction, "I mean you would be comfortable with them at least. In that way you would be able to gain more experince."

"Definitely not friends."

"Is there any one you find cute then?"

"Nope. No one sexually arouses me at all, except for Jeno. I'm so screwed." You sighed in annoyance. It's tough when your stuck on one guy.

Your friend really tried suggesting you ideas but unfortunately you would never do them. You don't find any guy you feel sexually attracted too.

"Have you tried watching porn?" She asked.

"Porn doesn't do it for me. It just feels weird. It's super unrealistic anyways."

You friend nods in agreement, "That is true"

"I remember when I lacked experience I went across on so many articles on first times. Google, Yahoo, Reddit you name it. People tend to sometimes give good advice, maybe you should try it.

Maybe you might come across something interesting..." nudging your arm so you feel somewhat better.

Maybe you might find something good, you thought.

"Thanks, I'll check it out when I go home," you gave a small smile, Anyways I gotta go to class now. Later baby."

--

It wasn't long until you came back home, finally able to complete your work and take a nice soothing shower. It really helps relieve all aches and stress you encounter throughout the day.

Picking up your favourite pyjamas to wear for the night, your skin damp and moisturised. Grabbing on to your laptop as you join yourself in bed.

Constant thoughts of what occurred today, Lee Jeno is actually interested in you. Almost like a fever dream, never would you had thought it'll be reciprocated, considering how you rarely find people interesting enough, interested in you.

Sighing and shaking your head, you need to be prepared before anything happens, reminding yourself you're not as experienced like he is. Opening your laptop immediately on Google search, fingers typing on the keyboard.

Flicking through your mouse clicking on nearly every page there is on Google. Sighing in frustration, finding the same generic responses from these websites.

"How to drive him wild"

"How to be best at sex"

Showing little to no actual advice on how to improve oneself, placing your both hands above your head as you let out a little scream. Annoyed.

Inexperienced at so called sex but hearing everyone's great experiences around you feels like your missing out on some form of drug. You remember your first time, awkward as ever. Feeling little to no pleasure and the guy only lasted 2 minutes tops. Embarrassing.

Having a crush on Lee Jeno does not in fact help thus makes it worse. Popular guy who's been associated with the popular girls, experienced well enough to match him.

And here's you the complete opposite. Insecure thoughts mingling in your head, "Am I good enough for him?" "What if i embarrass myself, ugh!"

Nope. Fuck that. Your determined to find a way and you will. Bringing the laptop closer to you as you restart the whole search. Eyes completely fixated the white screen ahead, draining you until you scrolled further below.

Your eye brow raised at what's in front of the screen. Clicking on it almost quick, as it sends you off to a YouTube link. The title of the video was called "Be the best at sex FAST! Subliminal"

Your initial thoughts were what the hell is a subliminal? Quickly opening a second tab and entering it on Google search, you come across the meaning.

subliminal

adjective

PSYCHOLOGY

• (of a stimulus or mental process) below the threshold of sensation or consciousness; perceived by or affecting someone's mind without their being aware of it.

In simple terms, a subliminal is a bunch of positive messages. An audio being played without hearing directly what's being said. Mostly consisting positivity. Remaining in your subconscious mind as you listen to it more.

You hummed as you took in the information. Even more so curious if this works with having sex. Being able to do best at it would be perfect for you.

Clicking back on the YouTube link once again, you noticed it had thousands of likes. Popular indeed. You read through the bar as it gave more information on the specific subliminal.

Affirmations

Be best at giving pleasure and receiving to partner

Inducing pleasure at whoever you desire

Great foreplay

Get the best orgasms

Partners keep praising how well you do

Listen once a day however the longer you listen the more power it has. Can induce headaches so drink fluids. Make sure to drink always keep the sound low! Headphones required.

(some of the affirmations mentioned above not all, works efficiently with success one not knowing what is being said)

And the list goes on and on. Okay now this really perked your interest. How does this stuff even work? It's like your in a whole different world. Noticing bunch of comments under the video, you scroll down in curiosity.

User12: Omg i used this and we went 8 rounds last night?????

User009: My sneaky link said the sex was so so so good I legit used this a day before I met him

User22: I used this because I had a date and he said I was the best he's ever been with?!!! Guys this shit works!!!

Use43445: He said i blew his mind and his dick real good LMAO

User67677: Guys you gotta be consistent with these. I typically use it a few times a day and I've noticed so much changes. I keep getting complimented during sex this shit works I swear! Stay positive ✨

Whew. These reviews really got you questioning. There's hundreds of comments which have stated nearly the same thing, that this shit works. It's quite fascinating how many people are in this community yet you had no prior inkling of it.

You won't lie, these comments really got you feeling excitment. What if, what if this works when you use it?

And what harm can it do anyways? Reading everyone's experiences just makes you want to try this out for yourself. You're desperate, you want to be good for Jeno. Perhaps this is the thing that makes you feel more confident and grants you mind blowing sex.

Quickly plugging your headphones in as you clicked the play button. You remembered to keep the volume at the lowest.

Once the play button hit, you did not expect to hear these sounds. It's almost static noises, bunch of voices repeating sounds that are hard to figure out. Feeling like whispers inside your ears.

It was a strange experience to indulge yourself into, never thinking something like this even existed. Letting it play one more time as you got used to the first, excited to see the results upcoming soon.

‐--

Heading to one of your last classes after a very long day. Still feeling tired from last night, feelings of blurness. Making your way down the corridors before a strong hand pulls you, taking you in the corner. Just as you were about to make a noise, only to find it was Jeno.

You didn't expect your crush, Lee Jeno to be cornering you against the wall right now. His tall figure towering you over as one of his hands were on the wall, caging you inside.

You felt shy within his hold, always watching him from the sidelines or from a distance, to having him near you so close is a dream.

"I've been looking for you," Jeno mutters, his eyes stilled on your whole figure watching how uneasy you felt having him so close. Gulping slowly yet cannot form any words. It's like your a dumb statue in front of Jeno.

Youre eyes shifting below, fixed on his body. His body proportions were something else. You know how often he's hitting the gym, workouts in forms of gym and sex. How does he manage to always look so good?

You managed to move your eyes above as he's fully maintained eye contact since. Nervously you speak out, "Y-You w-was...''

Jeno loves how shy you get in front of him. Turth be told, it makes him feel like corrupting you right there. So innocent so shy.

His smile forms a sly smirk, "Of course" His gaze following down your stiff body, eyes returning back to your confused cute state.

"You're my cute girl now," rubbing your cheek with his thumb. Ain't you?" He teasingly asks.

Overwhelmed is an understatement. Not only are you facing the boy you've literally been crushing on for so long, but having him to make you feel all sorts of ways. You could just explode right now.

Simply giving a gentle nod as approval for his words because your absoute gobsmacked to answer. But that's not enough for Jeno. He enjoys seeing you get worked up, telling of how your body reacts in his presence.

He's not blind. Always observed how your longing stares remained on him each day. He loves it. To know someone innocent like you constantly sees and thinks of him. Wondering if you touch yourself thinking of him.

Noticing the distance becoming smaller, feeling your heart almost drop out when Jeno leans in further.

His breathe fanning your ear with his cool breathe. His soft lips latching on to your ear before he sends a whisper, "Say it."

The depth of his voice shook your entire being and your core. Goosebumps raised all over your body. It was a demand, one where you cannot refuse.

It's crazy how much control he has over you, just over this little thing and you're already clenching your thighs? How pathetic.

His face still leaning towards you, your heart beat is exhilarated right now. Finally being able to muster courage as you spoken up. "I'm y-your cute.. girl."

---

It's been days, the last incident with Jeno still sends you shivers. But what hits you more is him sending you a text to come over his house on Saturday. Screaming, crying of joy, the all sorts. Every night you made sure you were listening to the sublimal, seeing how soon enough you'd be at Jeno's.

You're going over to Jeno's on Saturday, aware of the possible things that may will occur. Nerves are kicking in as time approaches, what if you end up making a fool out of yourself?

Wait no! You shouldn't think like that as the subliminal mentions, always keep your thoughts good!

But for once having something to stay positive on, you can't let your negative thoughts override yourself. Remembering the final goal is to become good at sex, perhaps better. Seeing those comments as motivation, if it works for them, it'll work for you too.

You listened to the particular subliminal daily at night. As it states it's best to listen before you go to sleep so the affirmations sink into you subconsciously.

Tonight your switching it up, though. Clicking to add the subliminal in a new Youtube playlist, so it continues to play on for the entire duration of the night.

Being aware how beneficial doing this is than the average use, you will take advantage of it. It's not far off before you meet up with Jeno, you have got to be good for him. Also using it for a longer period creates 10x effective results! This is your chance, anything for Jeno right?

Plugging your ear phones to your phone, laying on your head as your eyelids close. The static sounds playing as usual.

Today you are tired. Already feeling your heavy eyes beginning to shut. Knowing you'd probably fall as asleep any given time.

It's probably been a good few hours since you fell asleep. Shuffling randomly as a habit, eyes drained yet still feeling awake. Hearing the music in the playing constantly

Thoughts of him appearing of that day. The way he leaned in close enough, almost feeling him on top of you. Imagining being submissive underneath his body, letting him crush you down with his full body weight and muscular thick arms.

"J-Jeno..." breathing a soft moan. Not even aware of what you're saying. Too sleep drunken out of mind.

All of a sudden a loud thund was heard across your room. Snapping back into reality as your heavy eyes struggled to open properly. Unable to see clearly but enough to see a shadow figure lingering near the window. Your eyes must be playing tricks you assumed.

But no. The dark figure walked forth, almost marching ahead of your bed. Eyes fully snapping, horrified from seeing it approach ahead. You froze. Words are trembling out of your frightened state, W-who... are you.... "

The dark figure stopped nearby the end of the bed. Light from the moon outside shined upon his face, exposing himself. His eyes were lowly watching you, briefly changing his expression as a smile came on. It's terrifying in an instant how much his expression changed to gentle smiles.

The colour of his hair was prominent, dirty ashy blonde. Until your eyes shifted and widened seeing two identical horns on each side of the head. How can someone so beautiful look so scary?

"Jaemin," He blurted out with a grin,"The incubus."

Silence following as he spoke. Who the hell is this guy and what is a incubus? Your confused yet terrified of such a being in front of you. Is this just a bad dream?

"W-what are you.. doing here?" Feeling apprehensive as you questioned moving your gaze to his. You cannot believe a whole demon is right beside your bed, one that is strikingly breath taking.

Jaemin chuckled before he responds, closing distance as he approaches closer and closer, his hand above your head giving a gentle pat. "You called for me, pretty."

Shocked. Body tensing at the feel of his touch, comforting yet electrifying felt. Unable to understand what exactly he's saying. Why and when did you call for a incubus? You don't even remember anything, lost in your thoughts before Jaemin snaps you out of it.

"The subliminal," He shoots out, "Recall anything now?"

Eyes widen at the accuracy, how does he know about that subliminal. You've never once shared it with anyone, hell not even with your own friends.

"How do you know..." Is all you could mutter from your mouth.

"Ah, well I am the creator of it." Watching the confusion lingering in your mind. Walking closer until he stops, "Do you know of my kind?" He asks.

Frankly you're not entirely aware of it, so answer with a no.

"I'm a sex demon," He speaks up whilst licking his lips. "The subliminals help me feed off from humans when I'm hungry.'

Your eyes widening at his statement,"That can be in forms of thoughts, wet dreams, or reality.."

Your lost for words. Not even realising before Jaemin snaps you out of thoughts.

"Jeno is it?" He remarks, watching how fast you reacted hearing that name. God you was so down bad for him. Smelling the desperation from a mile off.

Eyes widening at the name of Jeno. How on earth does he know who that is?! Feeling fright each second comes, fearful of what this incubus knows and wants from you.

"How d-do you know Jeno?" You spoke lowly.

Jaemin loves how cute the wrinkles on your forehead form while your confused. Poor little thing having no idea of what is occuring and how.

"Well," Clearing his throat, "You were calling out the name Jeno in your sleep. Almost like a mantra," he smirked. His voice becoming high pitched before he shouts out, "Jeno Jeno Jeno..."

Embarrassment flies above you as you try covering your face with your hands. Did he really hear you be down bad for Jeno? Gosh this is so embarrassing.

Hey," Jaemin chuckled quietly, leaning over to remove your hand off your pretty face, "It's natural. When humans like someone they tend to think/dream of the person a lot." Reassuring you and making you feel less embarrassed.

You let out a sigh. Grateful that he isn't mocking you any further. Seemingly being very thoughtful to your feelings. Gorgeous and considerate, you thought.

Licking your lips as you talk, "God this is so... okay. Jeno is a guy I have a crush on. Like a lot," Emphasising the word as Jaemin quirks a brow up.

"But i feel like I'll make a mockery out of myself ugh'' Speaking honestly.

Jaemin's face slightly falters, his hand places itself on yours as comfort, "What makes you say that?"

At this point you've embarrassed yourself enough in front of an incubus, a hot one, so why not just speak out those insecure thoughts.

"I'm not.. well experienced. At sex." Blantly confessing your issue.

It goes unnoticed how quickly the incubus's eyes almost switched, his eyes darken. Taking in your helpless phlight. You're begging for something. He smelt the desperation ever since he entered in the room. He's very aware, because he knows you.

"Why don't we make a deal?" The incubus proposes.

You looked up as your forehead lines crinkled, confused at what the incubus means by deal.

"What deal?"

He smiles as his hand shifts to your left cheek, rubbing it gently as if your some delicate flower, "That's what my subliminal is made for, I can give you the experience."

His eyes looming over yours as you watch in shock what he suggested, "And in return, I get myself a meal for the night. A win win."

How does someone, an incubus give someone experience? More so is it possible to even have sex with one, wha-

"B-but how will it feel? Won't it feel different to humans?"

Jaemin chuckled, "Well to be honest it feels the exact same. Probably even better," He whispers lowly, enough to feel arousal by his words alone.

Contemplating whether you should or not being lost in your dazed mind before Jaemin snaps you out by replying, "You don't have to. Ita totally your choice," your eyes shift back towards him as you reconsider.

"But hearing how much you like him, it would be a shame not being good enough for Jeno.."

Not good enough. Those same words creeping back to you, will you ever be good enough? You take in everything Jaemin has mentioned to consideration. Maybe this is it. Your chance to prove yourself wrong.

You're ready for whatever right now. Sighing loudly as the incubus awaits for your response with focus.

"Okay.. fine... I accept it," Your voice pulls through. Though having no inkling of what to be expected next. Truthfully, Jaemin is one hot incubus, his touch alone makes you tingle. So why not huh?

Jaemin's extremely ecstatic hearing your answer. He can already tell how you are, easily shy yet gets worked up quickly.

He wants to tease you further, "Yeah?" His voice sinks deeper, gaze darkening by each second like he's pulling you in a dark hole. His body looming over yours, sinking below the bed as he hoovers above.

Eyes stayed still with yours, breathing getting faster having a presence take over you like this. Feeling hot and bothered already, wondering if he can smell the arousal from below.

Your chest heaves up as you breathe, emphasising your firm breasts, poking out to feel a touch.

The incubus watches with his predator eyes. Thrilling him many ways you cannot think of. Seeing a pretty innocent girl laying there for him to devour, noticing the way your skin formed goosebumps all around.

Watching your dazzled face as you closed your eyes, opened while the incubus is above, watching your pity face. His nose hitting against yours as the proximity grows, watching you through his eyelashes how easily you laid for him, allowing him to take you to a path of pleasure.

Already feeling things despite him not even beginning, Jaemin made you feel ways you've never before.

Leaning in close enough that heart beats can be heard, the incubus dives right near the neck and takes a big inhale of you, your scent. He loves how fresh you smell, feeling himself growl already.

Diving in to your skin when he smoothers your shoulder with soft kisses, his lips felt almost unreal. Breathing fanning across your exposed chest, allowing sensations to form across your entire being.

Going further below, stopping at the sight of your perky breasts. "So if Jeno touched you here," His strong hand engulfing the entire breast moving it upwards and down, "Would you let him?"

He's only just touched you and already feel like you'd burst. Feeling his hands wander causing you feeling ticklish. Jaemin watches how cute you are, just a touch and already breaking? Cute.

Not even realising when your top has sunked down, Jaemin's long tongue attacks. Never seeing a tongue like such before, giving a few licks as his saliva drips to your nipple, watching you in awe as you bite down your lip at the unexpected action.

"Words pretty," He startles you with a bite for not answering his question. Too engrossed in the feelings of pleasure, you whine at the slight pain.

Jaemin watches how lost for words you are, "How else would Jeno know how you feel?"

"Yes... It f-feels.. so good..." a loud moan escapes your mouth, just thinking about having Jeno like this, do this with you. Wondering if this is how it'll feel.

He hums, trailing his long tongue further down your stomach, to the dangerous place. You gasped loudly, shutting your thighs together as immediate reaction. You could literally cum with the amount of wetness you have.

"Don't be shy," He cooed as his arms dismantle your legs widening back again, revealing the effect of the incubus.

You felt shame with not having nothing on underneath exposing whatever is below. Your face becoming flustered watching Jaemin focus on you.

His face leaning against your core, tongue swirling trying to take in your taste and wentess "Don't you want to show Jeno the creation we made?"

His dark eyes looking above you, gauging your reaction when you whine.

Legs trembling beneath him as you watch Jaemin's tongue surround your clit in circles, your eyelashes fluttering before you could even form words to speak, "Y-Yes..."

The feeling felt so surreal. It accounts to nothing compared to your first time, haven't felt nothing. Almost thinking your broken. But Jaemin, made you feel worlds, places you've never seen or been before.

Feeling your head dropping back on to your pillow, Jaemin laughs having not done much yet seeing your body jolting at his given touch. Loving how weak you are for him, letting him take over you.

His tongue dives through your wet folds, catching you offguard when it enters inside you. Gasping so loudly, it felt a weird good.

Your legs expand while your slowly thrust yourself up, allowing his tongue to get deeper.

Wanting to feel more, you could even cum from this alone. Jaemin saw how restless you began to act, moving in ways just to feel him deeply in. You want this so bad.

"J-Jaemin.. need more.." whining like a baby, not being to handle it.

The incubus was hard as ever, cock growing each second as you beg for more. He brings his clothed cock against your thigh and brushes it above, wanting you to feel how he's become, for you. Never have felt something so hard before, wandering how it would feel once its out.

Pulling his huge cock out as you admire the length and size. Excitment builds all over your body, core throbbing for it to enter inside.

He watches your reaction with a smirk, catching you offguard by grabbing firmly on to your legs, putting them above his shoulders.

The intrusion came suddenly, a push you could feel in your guts. He was large, growing more inside of you. You're melting into the pleasure, slowly losing it as he thrusts inside a few times. Eyes clenching, hand gripping on the sheets to hold yourself.

His hand gripping on your thigh, delivering much more fast paced thrusts. It's absolute silence in the room, until Jaemin speeds up more and more, filling the room up with sounds.

"Do you hear that?" His pace becoming faster, closing his eyes from the pleasure of being inside of your warmth, infiltrating your hole like your a fuck doll showing zero mercy on how your coping.

The clapping sounds as his cock hits against your core, hitting all part of your body.

He lowers his body to find his lips against your ears delivering a cold whisper, "Jeno's favourite sound."

Your hands clutch tightly on the sheets, biting down your lip at hearing that. Getting fucked to a new dimension with a incubus while imagining Jeno doing this to you.

What a dream.

It's like the incubus knows you inside out, know what tickles your brains, knows what words to say to drive you to the blink of insanity. Almost like he knows your body than you do.

He chuckles knowing how this gets you going and doesn't stop, making sure you feel him in every bone of yours.

Jaemin released an animalistic growl, shooking you completely.

"Like the way I fuck? Fuck you deep in the guts while you think about Jeno?"

His eyes turning scary yet making you feel so much pleasure, can't help but think of him destroying you fully. You love the feel of him and his cock.

"F-Fuck yeah... Jaemin... yes!" Moaning out like a crazy person, He chuckles at your reaction as he hits against your skin, slowly pulling out to deliver slower strokes.

Rolling his hips and pushing himself inside out, slowly watching your face and mouth parting in pleasure.

"Fuck, feels so..."

Watching how your eyes below see him pushing himself slowly in you, sensing how you tighten the hold against him with your thighs. You want him there, want to feel his inches expand more.

"My kind would love you," Blurting randomly making you think if they're also just as good as Jaemin.

"T-They would?" You curse internally feeling yourself cum at any second.

Jaemin sensing how you're clenching his length in, hissing at how pleasurable it feels for him.

He sends a brief smile before he pushes himself in harder, with each thrust hitting your spot inside, "Yes, pretty little human who begs to take cock.

"Loves cock, deep enough to wreck your entire being."

"Obedient human whore who fulfils the dreams of us demons..

"Fuck! Gonna cum.."

Jaemin felt yourself climax all over his length, nearing his own when he removed his cock out. Lowkey wishing he had left it in, to coat your walls up.

"Shit," He beings to curse under his breath ss he splatters his cum all over your heaving chest. The cum beginning to make it's own trail down your stomach and thighs.

"Did so well for me.."

---

Waking up felt like a blur. Mind to dazzled to even think straight. Was it all a dream? You don't recall properly. But whatever it was, you felt it. Almost like it was real, it had to be. unknowing your body can react in many ways.

It's been days since your encounter with the incubus, never seeing him ever again. You do tend to get thoughts of him occuring weirdly.

Taking you back to the time how well he fucked you, made you feel a whole different experience. The thought of is still makes your thighs clench.

You still carried on listening to the subliminal ensuring to gain the best results. You'd be seeing Jeno in a few hours and honestly, you're excited.

He's your crush after all. You'd be lying if you said you wasn't nervous, Jeno always had this strong hold on you.

And now finally you will be around him, all alone.

You made sure you wore your best cute fit on, the skirt definitely made your ass look plumped

And now you're here. Inside Jeno home, something you have always wanted to see. Playing on a movie in the background, he buckles up closer to you making you feel tensed already. Having Jeno at this proximity drives you insane.

"You okay?" Jeno asks.

"Yeahh, why?"

"You seem distracted," He notices, eyeing how you haven't been watching the movie much.

To be honest, all you kept thinking of is how it would be later, will you embarrass yourself infront of your crush? God you hope not.

"I'm f-fine, it's just..." your face is getting heating up already as you look down.

Fuck. That look drives Jeno insane.

"Aw, are you blushing?" Lifting your chin up to meet with his gaze.

"Don't do that, it makes me hard."

You feel like the air just got sucked out of you. Did he really just.. say that? Blinking awkwardly not knowing what to respond.

Jeno cannot take his eyes off you despite the movie on in the background, the way you strut over his home with a cute crop top and skirt, already has him going feral.

He laughed watching you react, turning to lean back to his usual spot. You felt somewhat relief he was playing. Yeah right.

He's known for being extremely flirtious which clarifies the statement once he does the following thing, "Want a snack?"

You look towards him and nod, only to see him place a popcorn directly in his mouth as you watched in awe.

"Come take it then," He smirks, putting his hands behind his head as he leans down on the couch.

Watching how flustered you seem already you can't deny how hot he looks right now. A surge of unknown confidence arises within you as you approached closer, face hitting his. Titling your head to dive in further only for Jeno to swallow the popcorn, capturing a kiss between your lips.

Grabbing you by your waist, pulling you closer as your kissing grows more. Almost like you both yearned for a taste, finally able to. Your lips felt so soft to Jeno, always admiring how plumped they've looked every time.

"Sit on my lap," He pulls away to breathe as he spoke, following up as you place yourself above him, without thought straddling him as the kissing continues.

Your skirt rid up exposing your bare ass, earning a harsh slap from Jeno's hand. "Needy girl, already wanting to cum on me?"

Keep moving back and forth letting yourself feel his thigh all up you, it feels amazing. His hands gripping on your hips as he straddles you faster with his pace.

"S-sorry..." Biting your lip hard, allowing him to move you with his pace yet trying to feel more.

"Skirts..." He groans as he looks down at the way your pretty skirt looks. Ever since you entered all that was Jeno's mind was how sexy you looked. His eyes focused below making you feel slightly shy in his hold.

Fingers grazing your thigh following near your core, a gasp running out of your mouth at the touch.

Closing your eyes only to recall the moments with Jaemin. The way his tongue went up against your wet core, intruding it's way inside of you. Fuck.

Your eyes still closed immersing the similiar feeling, already feeling in a rush for something more, bigger to come.

"You wore this skirt for me, right?" His tone turning deep, finger brushing past your with circles, "Wanted my attention that bad?" Sudden feeling of his finger entering inside your wet core, sliding in and out.

"Mmmmm..." moaning out from the pleasure being received. Thrusting yourself with the finger trying to chase the orgasm, reminding you of Jaemin.

Remembering how the incubus's reaction was seeing you chase for your pleasure, finding it cute.

"You definitely got my attention," Already clenching on his fingers about to feel yourself cum, Jeno fastens his speed watching you nearing.

He loves how incredibly wet you've become, all for him. He thought.

You look so cute to him already feeling worn out by your orgasm that rides throughout your body, cumming straight on his fingers when you released.

But you're craving more. So much more, that you begin to remove Jeno's pants like a starved animal. Surpised by your reaction, joining in as he pulls down everything, his hard cock springing out.

"I need your cock. Right now." You demanded. No idea where this sudden confidence has come from but knowing this is exactly whats needed right now.

"Fuck," Jeno groans, pushing you down on all fours on the couch. Watching you remove your panties down, skirt hitched all the way up with your ass in display.

Your needy thoughts coming, not being able to wait any longer. Your back completely arched, pulling yourself back close enough to give his cock a few rubs with your hand. Just soon after, trying to place it inside of yourself.

You backed on him as you felt himself fully insert inside of you. Jeno groans so loud, his cock finally getting inside of something, getting some action.

"You're so fucking sexy," He groans loud, watching how you back yourself up with his cock swallowing it up each time. Jeno tilts his head back, lip biting at the pleasure he's getting from you.

You felt so nice wrapped around him, he's fucked many girls but no one had the confidence like you. Normally he's the one to lead but this time it's you, begging to feel him in your hole, taking him in like a good girl.

Jeno grabbed tightly on your hips as he thrusted himself on you, both moaning together as he works his cock in, "Shit, feels so good..." you gasped.

You love Jaemin's cock

Suddenly a thought comes in to your mind. All you can think of is Jaemin, how nicely his cock penetrated your insides, fucking it all up.

You can't get rid of the thought of his burning eyes watching you take him all in with no complaints, like you're made for him. Only you can take it.

Beginning to feel this pent up frustration rise up within yourself, you shout out. "Give me more! Harder!"

Not even knowing what you even expected yourself. You just wanted to take everything, you wanted to experience Jaemin again.

"Harder?" Jeno spoke as he leaned forward, dragging you back as you felt him push you harshly against his thighs, balls smacking behind you loudly.

"More! More!" You screamed.

"Knew you shy bitches were freaks." Jeno speeding as his arms grip stronger down your hips, making sure he delivers deeper strokes.

Sweat dripping on both bodies, your wetness stirring emotions inside of him.

Your eyes are closing up, almost like feeling like your body is losing touch with itself. Everything around you felt hazy. All you can think of in this state was Jaemin.

The tip of his throbbing cock hitting your spot, the overwhelming pleasure hitting your entire body. "Walking around like a uptight virgin but fucking like a pornstar, who taught you this?" His hissed.

He seriously wonders how you are this good. Have you fucked around a lot? Just couldn't believe how the campus shy girl who barely maintains eye contact fucks like a pro.

Was you this receptive to others? Let their cocks see how nice your cunt feels, to be wrapped around you?

His hands made its way to your chest, top raised up exposing your perky breasts. Cupping them in his hands once again. The pleasure of his cock and him touching your breasts was heavenly as you moaned.

He yanks your hair back with force, a whimper escaping from your mouth escalating the pleasure.

His mouth attaching itself on your neck giving small pecks, softly before his sore body penetrates you further.

The pleasure begins to feel immense, body losing its balance as you fell. Jeno turns you around being face to face, wanting to admire your pretty face.

For a moment, you swore you saw Jaemin. His hungry eyes spreading your swollen thighs open, positioning his cock back inside.

Puppy eyes as you watch how the cock slides back and forth, moistened with your wetness. God how do you manage to look so innocent yet be so filthy, Jeno wondered.

It's what arouses him furthermore, watching him like you've never seen such a cock before. Boosting his ego knowing he gets to witness you in this way.

"Fuck I'm close," Keeping his eyes on yours as he grunts. Giving you much slower thrusts, watching your mouth part in pleasure. Already clenching around his cock.

You wrap your arms around his neck, surprising Jeno at the action. Slowly pushing him down on your body, allowing him to fully crush you below.

Your hands grazing all over his skin, remembering the feel of how Jaemin's arms pinned your thighs roughly. All you kept thinking was having his huge build tower over you.

Even if it was hard to breathe.

He looks up only to put his mouth on yours, kissing you away with his thrusts. Both groaning mixed with pleasure and pain.

You begin to bite your lips roughly as he pants out, "Want to feel my cum? Need my cum in this pussy of yours, hm? Drillng his cock with speed that's making you seeing stars.

Your cries underneath get louder, legs shaking at how desperately you need to feel cum.

Jaemin didn't cum inside of you which did make you feel a way. All you imagined was how he would be the one who's giving all his cum inside of you, pumping you full.

"Please.. want your c-cum..."  You desperately cry.

And that's exactly how you felt when Jeno coated all your walls white. The thought itself of Jaemin cumming inside of you made your toes curling up, climaxing alongside with him. A feeling of warmth hits your core, something you've never experienced.

It feels so so good. You want that feeling to stay as long as it could. Your panting to breath out, legs shaking and aching.

It hadn't even hit you yet until Jeno speaks up, "Fuck, you did so well and took me so good." Planting another kiss yet on your lips, he can feel himself get hard once again.

It's ridiculous how he's feeling weak within your hold. He's honestly so impressed, being his best sexual experience so far.

---

You reach home with confused thoughts. At this point, you don't even know what you wanted.

Finally fucking your long time crush, the Lee Jeno. The one who you always admired from a distance, watching him interact and play, talk to a bunch of people, extremely popular even with the girls. The same girls who you wished you could be in place with.

You should be happy now right? So why do you feel unsatisfied and conflicted.

Feeling like you was literally under some influence despite not even drinking any alcohol. Why did Jaemin's thoughts appear? Why did he have to come whilst your fucking your crush. It made no sense.

Worst of all, Jaemin was on your mind the entirety of sex. You basically used Jeno to get off about Jaemin, fuck! That's like so messed up.

How could you do this? Do this to Jeno?

Feeling a incoming headache just by finding reasonings as to what's happening with you. You have so many questions. Yet no answer. Except one person could.

Jaemin.

But you haven't ever seen him since that day, possibly he may never return. Especially when the deal was done.

That's until you heard a particular loud thud in your room. Rushing in fear of someone possibly breaking in, only to find Jaemin, the incubus. The incubus who's been tormenting your mind.

"Hey pretty, missed me?" Plastering a pleasing grin across his face, approaching you.

Your fear subsided, letting out a deep breath as you begin to compose yourself. Your mind going back to his said question, deeply you felt a tug. You did miss him.

"Jaemin.. you scared me." You sighed, it was so unexpected to visit. Deep down you was glad to see him once again because you thought you never will.

He walks over to you as his hand makes contact with your cheek, "Sorry princess. Are you okay?" He feigned concern.

God he was so caring, always wanting the best for you.

You're not okay. All you think of is Jaemin even whilst being with Jeno. Does that mean your catching feelings...

You look so distressed yet so adorable he thinks, the way your brows furrow and eyes close as if your fighting against something.

"I don't k-know what's wrong with me.." Feeling ridiculous about what your experiencing yet humiliated to mention. You don't even realise your mumbling your words, body moving in itself.

"I-I was with Jeno and I t-thought.." You stammered your words trying to explain to him what exactly is going on.

"That's the problem," Jaemin speaks up as his hand goes above your head giving gentle strokes.

"Who told you to have thoughts, pretty?" He laughed.

His tone sounding completely condensending, like he is mocking everything you've mentioned. Your stomach begins to drop at the discomfort that's brewing inside.

His face connecting closer, darkness emitting his deep eyes, shocking you with his words with a deep tone, "You don't have thoughts, I think for you. Don't you understand?"

Your eyes widening with a tint of fear behind. What's wrong with him? He's never acted in this way, his whole demeanour changed within a split second. Terrfied.

The very look that gives the incubus such satisfaction. His hand raising as he lifts your chin up, your body jolting within his touch.

"Dumb little human. Stooping low enough to bargain your soul," Having the same grin that's always plastered across his face at this moment is sickening to see.

He's the true epitome of a demon.

"Y-You.. did.. this?" Voice shaking from the absolute reality of this incubus. The very Jaemin whom you considered to be helping you this entire time was doing the opposite.

"I did nothing." His tone refusing to acknowledge his doings, remaining composed.

The sudden sounds of multiple voices begin to erupt inside your ears, sounding exactly similiar to what you've always been listening to.

The subliminal.

Your eyes begin turning hazy, almost like you can't see a thing ahead. Trying your best to maintain open eyes as you blink, yet failing to do so. Your mouth deprived from thirst, causing dryness. The whispers escalating more and more, until you become accustomed to it, pulling you into trance.

Jaemin coos, watching the state you've become. The very thing he had always wanted. Such a poor sight to witness.

Who owns you?

Jaemin.

What are you good for?

Being Jaemin's whore.

Your body is?

Jaemin's property.

Who fucks and uses you?

Jaemin fucks and uses all my holes voluntarily.

My favourite hole?

The ass.

"See?" His hand brushing along your face, "I taught you so well, didn't I?" You nodded.

Jaemin had those messages hidden quite well, no one could have even guessed. He managed to put those messages in reverse. Knowing no one would ever consider checking. Sneaky. Humans are fucking stupid, after all.

He's come across many willingly wanting to do things, selling their souls for person. It's ridiculous but it works.

He convinced you he was only to help. And you being the mere foolish human.. fell for it.

Targeting weaknesses was his thing. He knew how badly humans lacked affection, craved it whether it's from the right or wrong individual.

And he was right, which lead him to make the subliminal in the first place. Coming out to enter his human form, creating a perfect subliminal to make everyone his slave.

It was a shock to him also at first, but each time his hunger grew larger. His lust never settled down only expanding. To know he has the human power in his hand and the best way to use it against them?

Their minds.

And here it is, your own mind being your own enemy.

Soon after your body began acting on its own. Almost vibrator stuck inside of you throbbing continously at the highest setting. You're not used to this intensity, which makes Jaemin want to watch you suffer just a little bit.

Your nipples erecting on its own, begging to be touched. The growing need of having a cock inside of it worsens. You need something. You need Jaemin.

It's beginning to feel so painful, even when your palm hits you core you cannot take it. It's painful to touch. Your body making reactions as it gets worse, pleading eyes looking straight ahead.

"Jaemin. Touch me." You begged.

"Hm?"

"Please!"

"How does it feel?" He asks, as if he can't see the ultimate mess you're becoming. Clearly telling of how your body is reacting, begging to feel a cock.

"S-so good." You breathe out.

"Oh? Doesn't seem like it." He shrugs, ignoring your reactions.

Taking a deep breath upon his words. How could he not see your struggling? The hand on your cunt is full of slick, dripping beneath your thighs.

Cries becoming louder, moving back and forth against your own palm. It's embarrassing at this point. But you cannot help it.

Your moans coming from the mouth, getting closer to a particular feel, "It's not good enough.."

Oh Jaemin is very well aware of that. From the moment he picked you all he ever thought was how much prettier you'd look begging for his touch. To the point of feeling like there's no other, only Jaemin.

The way you were oh so very innocent at the start, barely having knowledge on what you were expected to do. So naive yet compliant.

It pleasures him to see you to see you have a look of distress and begging. Licking his lips at the sight of you when he gazes you down.

Suddenly his hand roams against your thighs, causing a shiver throughout. His finger moving in circles whilst his eyes locked against yours, "Let me make it good.." He offers you despite withholding touch from before.

The throbbing escalates, your body muscles tighten at the lingering touches of him. Moving all the way up, meeting the core. You sat down, legs subconsciously opening wider as each finger grazes past your core.

Though Jaemin had no intention of ever putting those fingers inside.

"But not in this way.." He slowly teases making you think he's backtracking once again. Causing more frustration. Only to find him reach lower against you, his breath sending tingles over your core.

Your eyes rolling, awaiting to give you want you desperately needed. His tongue.

"Look at this hole," He delivered a slap causing you to whimper as you bite down your lips.

His eyes fixated above as he watches, smirking when he continues to slap. He can see how each time he does, your needy hole clenches so fast.

It's begging for intrusion, desperately wanting to swallow his finger inside.

Jaemin's mouth attaches towards your neck, giving little pecks before he moves against your lips. Your eyelashes were fluttering with the feeling itself making you feel so so good.

Moving back against the side of your neck, sending a cool whisper, "I didn't like how swollen your lips were from him." A tint of posessiveness showing from his side.

He noticed ever since you walked in how pink and swollen they were.

He drags his mouth against your jaw before he sends a quiet whisper, "So I'm going to make them bleed."

Trailing his lips further up as he reaches the place once again. This time with much more force, the kiss turning aggressive.

He kissed you like you're his first ever meal, hungrily. Tongues moving against each another's before he bites, causing you to moan straight inside his mouth.

It hurt so good. You didn't realise when you gasped, Jaemin pulled away slowly before licking the remains on the blood formed on your lower lip, "Better."

God did he look strikingly with bloody lips, watching him lick his entire lip, tasting you.

Not even having a chance to react, he turns you around hastily. Excitement stirring throughout your body.

Your holes are begging for some kind of action. You're a mess. Looking back at him with teary eyes, "J-Jaemin, it's moving.."

Instead, ripping away your skirt he exposes your ass. Specifically the hole. His eyes widen full of lust. Your hole was pulsating away like it had it's own heart beat.

"Fuck.. you're begging for me.." Justifying at the action in front. It's you that wants this to happen, to let him do whatever he can.

The fascination as he watches how quickly your hole opens itself and shuts. You're seriously asking for it, for him to lose all control.

You pressed yourself against his ingrowing cock, moving it slowly all around only to hear the incubus's big growl. He knows what your doing.

Only to feed his wet lips attach itself against your hole, salivating all the wetness that's been present since.

He breathed against them as his tongue took a long lick all the way, "Bet Jeno didn't touch these lips."

You could feel his smirk behind you as he plants kisses above.

Naturally rocking your body back and forth, thinking when his long tongue will finally intrude it's self in.

"Humans. So pathetic." He laughed, undressing himself with his cock shooting out. The tip looking so red, the prominent veins showcasing above it, ready to erupt any given time.

His cock surrounds all over your throbbing hole, trying to take him in. He teases his tip all around allowing your wetness to coat him.

"Remember I said I'd make it good?"

Jaemin is hoovering above you, as you watched back only to see his huge thick cock growing expendiosly. You licked your lips in sight, yearning for it to enter behind.

His body falling over yours, giving small little licks all the way to your spine and above. Your arching your back completely as you bite down the whimpers falling from your mouth.

"Y-Your so nice to me.." It's like you don't even remember anything thats occurred. Being so fucking deprived, your complimenting the incubus when he makes you feel good.

The same who put you in this form of hell.

He laughs lowly against your skin, "Humans.. ah, my weakness. Thanking me even during my most selfish moments, do you not know my kind, yet?"

Just as you leaned back again, he thrusted himself inside. Both pushing yourself further as Jaemin slides through, you make it so easy for him.

You could feel Jaemin's entire body hurdled against your back, his tongue sending small licks around your earlobe before he bites it down. You're faltering already at his actions, coating his cock with more wetness you've produced.

Jeno was nothing compared to Jaemin. Jaemin had such a bigger cock no doubt, but it's almost as if it keeps growing once it's inside. Feeling like it'll pierce through your brain, making you literally fucked out of thoughts.

Your legs were shivering, not used to this kind of thing, not used to such a huge cock.

You'd never think an Incubus could be the one who destroys you, from mind body and soul. Doubting that anyone could even compare to this, Jaemin already making sure your completely ruined to even be used by others. Even his own kind.

"My perfect little human. Always complying to take my cock, right?" He pushes himself further, penentrating your hole like its nothing.

"Yes.. want your cock, want it so badly, want to be filled.. please.." Moaning away as you take it all, like you should. You're here to please after all.

He brings his huge hand as it cups your face, making you turn around to watch your desperate state, "What happened to the innocent girl who barely knew how to take cock, now begging to get filled?"

Enjoying the state you've become but that's purely because you sold your soul off to him. His inches becoming deeper inside as he thinks back to your stupidity.

"Dumb fucking whore, good for nothing but just another hole for me to slide my cock in. You should be grateful you were the chosen one," He snarls, gripping on to your hips with force enough to cause bruises.

Your thighs shaking frantically, your hole feeling swollen from his constant deep thrusting.

Getting pulled behind, slamming his cock with much force. Your cries are filling the silence of the room, wandering how much more deep can he get.

"See?" He whispers behind your ears, "You were never meant for Jeno."

He penetrates faster, as sweat is dripping from his forehead down to your body.

"Even when you fucked him, who was you thinking of during the time?" He asked cockily already knowing the answer yet wanting to stroke his high ego.

"You! Jaemin!" You shouted out, getting fucked out completely.

Jaemin's eyes close up brewing feelings of extreme lust, knowing he's the better option to cease. He opens his eyes before he laughs, "Exactly it shows your just made for me, pretty."

Your mouth is drooling as he begins to roll his hips, the urge to cum getting stronger as he continues. Only for him to stop.

"Fuck.. want to remain here for entirnity." He continued licking every inch of your body, goosebumps raised by his touch.

Your breath hikes up as he knibbles away in your much weaker spots.

"Jaemin, please fuck me." Whining at the loss of his cock.

"I am," He lazily thrusts to get you geared up. Only to catch you offguard completely.

His burning eyes making their way back to yours, turning you around as both your faces touch. A whisper escaping from your lip, seeing Jaemin this close brings shivers.

He's admiring your state of utter desperation. The weakness your portraying, almost like giving up. Like a child being starved from food.

Tears glistening your entire face, Jaemin thinks you look the prettiest this way. The wrecked up way.

Too stilled with each other eyes, a hand makes it's way down your core. Rubbing the the clit furiously. It's so fucking intense, not only what he's doing but his eyes piercing in your soul.

He's enjoying watching you wither infront of his hold. Only he can the power to do this. His speed increasingly getting faster, your thighs clenching unable to control the pleasure. It's a completely overwhelming state to be in.

Not only that, Jaemin's lazy speed grew back to his usual. Intense and overbearing.

Your thighs getting hit against one another with an ache, "Ever since I laid my eyes on you, I want to ruin you so much. Wreck each and every human part of you.." He sighs, angrily thrusting in and out of you.

"Want to make you mine, welcome you into my Hell." His fingers attached deeply on to your hips as he speeds up. You feel bruised already but hearing his words is making you clench around his entire length.

"F-Fuck.. I'mma cum.."

"Cum for me pretty." His thrusts gaining more strength, hands above your clit whilst he flickers it with his fingers.

You cummed all over his cock, eyes squeezed as you saw stars. Your legs trembling, burning with severe ache. Moans still leave through your mouth at how well you were getting fucked and still are as Jaemin continues.

His cock growing harder as ever inside of your hole knowing his about to finish off. "Want to be filled? Be my cumdump? Let me fill up your needy hole?" He groans deeply, lips attached near your shoulders.

You turn back with pupply like eyes, begging to feel him inside of you already. "Please  Jaemin, Please cum, cum in me Please.." Rocking back and forth with his cock giving it a final push.

Your begging is music to his ears. Your soft pleas, he can't take it any longer. His face dipped back on your shoulder releasing an animalistic growl. It was so loud, your certain everyone could hear. Never knowing how deeper his voice could become.

"Come on," Breathing becoming faster, take it for me.Take it all inside."

His cum splatters all inside of your hole, coating your entire inside. Some of the cum dripping below your thighs. Watching your ass becoming needy and sucking in the rest of his cum.

"Fuck...." He licked his lip whilst his cock remained in your ass, watching you yet clench against him.

Your eyes fluttering at another intense orgasm, body jolting all around. You both were exhausted completely.

"You're perfect for me."

Your phone on your bed literally vibrated right after, Jaemin being the one to turn it on.

Jeno♡♡ [01.00am] i miss ur pussy

Jeno♡♡ [01.01am] can we meet up tommrow???

Jaemin let out a huge scoff. Jeno definitely was out of the picture now, you've chosen who you wanted.

He deleted the message and tossed your phone away. He got closer to you as he whispered slowly, "All mine now.."

©2022 lostlovesoul11 all rights reserved.

[lovelywritinglady]

Beach Days

Gojo Satoru x f!Reader

Reader and Gojo spend the day at the beach together along with their classmates. Fluffy, Gojo being a slight ass. Some Nanami x reader because I felt like it. (especially after season 2 of JJK)

“Pleaseeeeee, come one Y/nnnnn! It’ll be so much more fun if you go too!” Gojo practically yelled trying to convince you to go with him and a few other classmates to the beach this Saturday.

“Gojo I already told you I’m busy that day.” You told him as your eyes never the assignment you were working on.

“Look I will fucking pay you to go with me, just please tag along! You ain’t afraid of water are ya?” He teased

“Fine, I’ll go. However, you’ve got to promise not to whine when I have to leave early. I have a test that I need a lot of time to study for.” You reluctantly told him secretly happy that he asked you to go to the beach with him and your other classmates. You blushed at the thought of being able to be with them in a positive way instead of fighting curses.

“Yesss, I promise we’ll have a shit ton of fun! And don’t you worry about that test. Even if you didn’t study you’d ace that shit, but as long as you go I won’t be sad you’re leavin’ early I guess.” He said excitedly with a slight pout on his oddly perfect lips.

“Maybe you’re right, but I’m not taking any chances.” You slightly laughed finding it cute that he was pouting a little.

“Alrighty, we’re all meeting up at the front of the school and taking a school van at 11. Don’t be late sugar.” Gojo stated as he quickly left but not before giving you a wink and a big wave goodbye. You rolled your eyes at his flirting but still felt butterflies in your stomach all the same. You hated your crush on Gojo but, seriously, who could help themselves when it’s the Satoru Gojo.

The next day…

You arrived at the meeting spot five minutes before 11 just in case. Funny enough, only Nanami Kento, your classmate, was there witha borded expression on his face. You walked up to him with your beach bag in hand and wished him a good morining.

"Good morning Nanami." You spoke to him giving him a small smile

"Ah, good morning L/n, I'm guessing that Gojo's constant pestering go to you too." He said in an irked tone.

"Yes, he was quite annoying about it, but I think it'll actually be good for me to have a relaxing day at the beach with you guys. Besides when is the last time we were together that didn't include killing something." You pointed out

"True, I didn't take that into consideration. It will be nice not having those responsibilities for once." He agreed giving you a small smile.

"So where is Haibara? Isn't he normally with you?" You asked him genuenly curious where your sweetheart of a classmate is.

"He said he would meet me here at eleven due to the face that he overslept a bit. I came earlier just in case Gojo decided to be spontaneous again and leave without us." Nanami responded checking his watch.

"Makes sense you'd be here early. You're always so punctual, that's what I like about you so much!" You complimented him giving him a wide smile.

"Oh, well thank you L/n." He said quietly blushing slightly at your niceness.

"Anytime, now when will they get here?" You questioned out loud.

As if you could see the future, there walked your remaining classmates along with their beach bags. Gojo, funny enough, had a big pink flamingo floaty on his arm and you laughed slightly at the sight. As soon as he saw you he picked up the pace, giving you one of his signature goofy smiles. Geto, Shoko, and Haibara waved at you and Nanami and the two of you returned the gesture. Your attetion turned to your white haired classmate as he strolled right up to you.

"You actually came and early too!" Gojo said excitedly

"Of course I did. I decided that it would be nice to get some sun." You told him slightly blushing at his exposed abs as him, Geto, and Haibara all were shirtless except for unbuttoned shirts.

"Well good Y/n, glad you're here!" he said getting closer to your face making you blush more.

"Alright Satoru, lets get loaded up!" Geto yelled getting into the drivers seat.

Everyone got in and Nanami made his way to sit next to you only for the seat to be taken by Gojo. You gave Nanami an apologetic smile as he took a seat next to Haibara instead. Gojo started yapping on about some video game he just started playing with Geto and how he was kicking his ass in it. You heard Geto mumble how Gojo was actually losing a lot, which earned a few chuckles from you and your other classmates. Gojo pouted and looked out the window with a huff. You thought it was cute seeing his lips pucker the way they did. A few minutes passed when he finally got out of his little trantrum and gave his attention to you. He began yapping and then proceeded to ask you all kinds of questions. However, one question stuck out from the rest.

"So y/n you got a boyfriend or something?" He asked but unlike the other questions, he spoke in a serious tone.

"Um...no." You responded back slightly confused as to where this question came from.

"Hmm... okay then!" He chirped and continued yapping once more. You looked at the front of the van only to see Geto smirking at you which caused your face to feel hot and your hands slightly clammy.

"Oi Y/n! Oi Y/n! Y/nnnnn, are you paying attention?" You finally heard Gojo whine.

"Oh sorry, what were you saying?" You asked giving him an apologetic smile. This yapping continued as Geto drove everyone to the beach.

After some time later, you all arrived at your beautiful destination. Geto and Shoko were the first ones to get out of the van. You and Gojo followed and then Nanami and Haibara were the last ones. You took in the sights before you. The ocean was a magnificent deep blue and the beach was vibrant white. The sun beamed down on you making you squint despite the fact that you were wearing sunglasses.

Before you could react you saw Gojo, Geto, and Haibara all running at full speed as they raced towards the water ahead. You could hear Haibara say the sad was too hot as he finally made it to the water, coming in third place with Gojo in first. A laugh erupted from you and Shoko as you held onto each other. You then looked at Nanami who had a content smile on his face which made you even happier. Just as you were about to say something to him, Shoko grabbed your arm pulling you to the other boys that were now splashing each other aggressively.

“Come on y/n!” Shoko yelled as she pulled you. You can’t remember the last time she was so lively, but you relished in it.

“Shoko we need to put sunscreen on first.” You giggled

“Oh yeah, right.” She stopped giving you a sweet smile.

“Might as well set up a spot too I guess.” You chimed in. You looked back at Nanami who also made

“Good idea, because there is no way in hell these boys are going to do it right. Well maybe Nanami.” She spoke.

The two of you then set up a spot with towels and a few beach umbrellas. It didn’t take long as the two of you were eager to be in the water. You and Shoko then got the sunscreens out of your bags and began putting it on yourselves. What you didn’t notice was Gojo staring intently at you, as he had for nearly the whole time you and Shoko were setting up the spot.

Just then, Gojo ran up to the two of you. His whole body soaking wet from the endless splashing he did with the boys. He stood in front of you with a wide grin on his face.

“Hey, you need help putting that sunscreen on y/n? Wouldn’t want ya burning.” He asked with a playful smirk

“Sure, why not. Thank you Gojo.” You responded handing him the bottle of sunscreen.

He took it happy from your hands as he gestured for you to turn around, to which you obliged. You could hear the sound of it opening and soon enough Gojo was applying it on your back. You didn’t even realize the furious blush on your face in this moment. The feeling of his hands on your body gave you goosebumps. And a content sigh left your lips. Gojo chuckled at this as he took it upon himself to give you a small massage which made you let out another sigh.

“There that should be good.” He commented but before you could respond he bent down and began whispering in your ear. “Y/n from now on I’d be honored if you’d call me Satoru.” He whispered as his right hand was still on your lower back. You turned your head to look at him as your eyes met his. You were so close to each other and if anyone was looking at the two of you, they would assume you guys were a lovesick couple. Shoko who was next to the two of you smiled thinking how finally the two of you were finally getting somewhere.

“Thank you Satoru.” You whispered looking back in fourth between his lips and his piercing eyes.

“Anything for you.” Satoru responded getting closer.

You moved yourself closer too even though space was rather limited at this point. You could feel his breath on his face. His eyes bore into yours as you couldn’t hide the fact that you wanted him to kiss you. Satoru could tell you wanted it and just as he was about to kiss you a beach ball was launched at the two of you. Thankfully, Satoru turned on his infinity shielding the two of you from it.

“Sorry Satoru! Sorry L/N!”Yelled Geto who stood in the water.

“Dammit Suguru!” Satoru exclaimed as he ran towards Geto. As he did he made sure to turn and give you a wink before running off towards his best friend.

Satoru tackled Geto and the two of them began wrestling in the ocean. This made you roll your eyes as Shoko laughed. The rest of the day consisted of you and Shoko talking under the umbrella talking and enjoying each others company. And occasionally going to the beach and making sandcastles. The boys spent the day playing in the water and making a sand fort. Nanami and Haibara took a walk down the beach with Haibara talking Nanami’s ear off, not that he minded. All of you enjoyed your time so much that when it was finally sunset, it had felt like the day had passed quickly.

“We should probably get going soon.” Shoko groaned.

“Yeah, or else Yaga is gonna be on our ass for being late.” You sighed dreading going back to school.

“Ha, not you with your perfect grades and all.” She teased putting away her beach stuff.

“Oh hush.” Responded.

As you and everyone else were putting away your stuff, you noticed Satoru missing from the bunch. You looked around only to see him standing in the ocean looking like he was staring off into the distance. He looked sad, almost melancholy. Your heat skipped a beat and before your brain had any say, you walked up to him. You then stood next to him looking up at his expression. He still hadn’t turned to you but you soon felt his hand grasp yours. You let this happen wanting to feel his warm hand on yours too. You both enjoyed the warm and comfortable sounds of the ocean with the waves crashing softly against your knees.

After a little while, he turned his head in your direction as a small smile appeared on his face. He couldn’t help but look at you. To him you were simply beautiful and someone he looked up to. You were strong, brave, and kind. However, you never boasted your power like he did. Instead you were humble about it and always congratulated others on their achievements without even a drop of envy. You were someone he dared admit that he really liked. And he was so glad that you agreed to come here on this beach trip with him. He then sighed gathering enough courage within him to ask you something that had been plaguing his mind for months.

“Y/n..” he dragged out feeling nervous

“Yes Satoru?” You asked with sweetness lacing your voice. This made his insides turn to mush.

“I’m sorry if this is forward, but would you like to date me?” He asked feeling relieved that he finally got those words out. You paused for a second taking in the question he asked as your chest filled with a warmth that only he seemed to ignite within you.

“Yes.” You replied simply. As you turned your head to him squeezing his hand softly as you did so. You then smiled at him giving him a loving gaze that made him give you one back. “What took you so long?” You teased to which he rolled his eyes playfully.

“To be honest, you make me nervous. You’re strong and your confident. And that’s super sexy.” He teased back wiggling his eyebrows

“Oh shut up.” You replied

“Oi, lovebirds we gotta go!” Yelled Geto from a distance.

“Shit.” You both muttered at the same time.

You both the began walking hand in hand back to the van. However, with a sudden burst of confidence, you swiftly turned around wrapping your arms around Satoru’s neck. His expression was a mixture of excitement and shock. You then pressed your lips against his, piling him closer to you. Satoru wrapped his arms around your body pulling you closer too as he reciprocated the kiss adding even more passion. His lips were addicting to say the least abc you wished that you had more time to savor him. Satoru felt the same as he brought one of his hand ups to your face caressing it slowly. You then broke the kiss feeling hot from the feeling of being that connected with him.

“Are you okay?” He whispered being his other hand up to your face as he held it gently.

“Yeah, are you?” You asked putting your hands on his giving him a content smile.

“I’m absolutely perfect.” He replied

“We should be getting back not.” You said reluctantly

“Yeah, don’t want Yaga getting on our asses for being late.” Satoru said as he took your hand once again as the two of you even waking. You already missed the feeling of his large hands on your cheeks.

“True that.” You replied giving his hand a squeeze.

“I’m glad you came with us today.” He said happily.

“Me too.” You replied.

“Fucking finally.” Geto and Shoko said in unison as you and Satoru sat together in the van. A furious blush gracing both of your cheeks.

“Agreed.” Nanami sighed behind you.

“Happy for you guys.” Haibara chimed in being positive as usual.

“Thank you.” You replied to him putting your head in Satoru’s shoulder.

The drive back was peaceful and filled with hope. Despite your lives, you and Satoru were content knowing that despite the shit that you would both experience, you would have each other. As the future for you both you be tough but in the end happy…or was it?

Thank you so much for reading!💜

Please feel free to request, comment, like, and reblog

Click here to see what I’ll write for and click HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

-L.W.L

[jobean12-blog]

You asked babe to bring you something from your favorite coffeeshop. Did they get your order right?

Fall In Love

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader (Takes place in my Biker AU)

Word Count: 986

Summary: When you send Joel on a coffee run he always delivers the best goodies.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for this fun ask Cia! It turned into a whole little drabble here but I couldn't help myself because I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Hope you love him too! And have the best day! Love and hugs my friend! ❤️Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy!🥰

Warnings: soft and sweet fluffy fluff and fun

Joel Miller Masterlist

The gentle sway of the porch swing keeps you in a constant state of relaxation, the fluffy blanket and Joel’s flannel shielding you from the crisp morning air.

Every leaf that still dangles from the branches of the surrounding trees has transformed, it’s green color gone and replaced by the bright reds, oranges and yellows that now carpet the ground.

Your eyes are closed and your face is turned toward the sun’s warm rays that filter through the trees. It isn’t until you hear the unmistakable sound of his motorcycle that you peek through your lashes, knowing he’ll be coming up the driveway in a matter of seconds.

The distant hum becomes louder until it’s a low growl and you see him whip around the corner. The leaves crunch beneath the wheels and when he pulls up to the house you make grabby hands for him.

With the engine still purring he swings his long leg over his bike and grabs something from the saddlebag. He starts to unzip his leather jacket as he approaches, smiling warmly as he takes you in.

“You look cozy,” he says softly.

You hum in agreement, lifting the blanket in a silent invitation.

He removes his jacket and hangs it on the nearby chair then sets the bag down on the small table in front of the swing.

You move over but only so he can sit and pull you into his lap. He takes your chin between his calloused and cold fingers, tugging your lips to his.

“Hi angel,” he croons. “Miss me?”

You kiss him again before snuggling up against his chest and burying your nose in his neck.

“Always,” you whisper.

His hold on you tightens and he smooths his hand down your back soothingly.

“Where did you find this?” he asks, fiddling with the hem of his shirt that you’re wearing.

With a shrug you mumble into his skin, “in your drawer somewhere…smells so good.”

You can feel his body shake with a chuckle.

“It’s a amazin’ I have any shirts left.”

“You don’t need them as much as I do,” you state, stifling a yawn. “What did you bring me?”

Your fuzzy sock clad feet wiggle back and forth as your excitement grows.

“Let’s see here,” he says, sitting forward and grabbing the bag.

He takes out two to-go cups, both hot and steaming and then a small bag.

You shift in his lap and sit up enough to take one cup from his hand. When you open the top you practically stick your nose inside to inhale and sigh in happiness.

“My favorite!” you sing. “Smells almost as good as you.”

He gives you an unamused sideways smirk then motions to the small bag.

“Got you a little somethin’ sweet too darlin’.”

After taking a delicious sip of your drink you place it down and open the bag. Your eyes go wide.

“PUMPKIN MUFFINS!” you screech.

“There’s mor…”

“AND APPLIE CIDER DONUTS!” you shout, cutting him off.

You wiggle in happiness causing him to groan.

“What?” you say, still marveling over your treats.

“Quit your dancin’,” he warns, “or the only treat you’ll be gettin’ is in my pants.”

His terrible joke makes you look up, your eyebrows meeting your hairline. He’s staring at you with a straight face but his mustache is covered in whip cream from his drink.

You stare back and try to hold your composure but it doesn’t last and you snort with laughter.

“It wasn’t that funny,” he says, taking another sip.

When you finally stop laughing you meet his eyes again. “You’re right, it wasn’t, but…”

You trail off as you lean closer, taking his cup and setting it down next to yours.

“Hey,” he starts, sticking his lip out in a pout.

“Joel,” you grin.

“Yea darlin’,” he says, watching you with narrowed eyes as you inch closer.

“You have a ‘lil something on your mustache.”

Your mouth meets his and you suck on his upper lip, tasting the sweet cream.

When you pull back there’s still some left and you giggle. “Mm yum!”

With quick movements he picks up his cup again and takes another drink, practically dipping his whole mouth in.

“Is it gone?” he asks, his eyes glittering.

“Nope,” you say popping the p and kissing him again.

Once all the whipped cream is kissed from his lips you dig into a donut, taking a big bite of the cinnamon sugar goodness.

He watches you intently, his eyes focused on your lips as you lick them clean. Before you can take another bite he grabs the donut from your fingers and holds it up to your mouth.

You keep your eyes on him when you bite into it and when you’re done chewing he smiles triumphantly.

“You have a little somethin’ on your lips there darlin’,” he says, echoing your earlier statement.

His large hand reaches out and he wraps it around the back of your neck, dragging you closer until you’re straddling his waist and his lips are pressed to yours.

Your sugary fingers comb through his hair and you nibble his bottom lip.

His low hum of appreciation washes over you and he tucks you closer, softly kissing your neck and along your jaw before he finds your lips again.

“I want more sugar darlin’,” he murmurs, chasing your lips.

“What about my yummy drink?” you tease.

“I’ve got somethin’…”

You slap your hand over his mouth with wide eyes. “Don’t. You. Dare.”

He laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corners with glee.

You hesitantly take your hand away and wait. He doesn’t say another word and instead reaches for your drink and brings it to your lips.

“When you’re done with this you’re all mine,” he growls.

“Is that a promise?” you counter, wiggling in his lap again.

“Of course angel,” he grins. “And when have I ever broken a promise?”  

@pedritosdarling @lorilane33 @blackwidownat2814 @littleseasiren @hiddles-rose @kmc1989

[sebastianstanisahotmf]

Never alone

Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N This is a part of my 100 followers celebration. I'm sorry I'm posting these so late at night but it's the only time I've got to post them. I wrote this on my phone so there might be more mistakes. Also, likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

THIS IS NOT AN 18+ FIC BUT I STILL FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MINORS READING MY FICS SO PLEASE DNI IF YOU ARE A MINOR

Summary You get back from a mission and Bucky isn't in a good state.

DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER APPS/WEBSITES. THE ONLY PLACE THIS FIC IS ON IS TUMBLR.

Warnings Fluff, angst, crying, mentions of depression/ptsd

It was inevitable that Bucky was going to have good and bad days but today was worse than bad. He had never felt so alone.

You had been on a mission for 1 month now and Bucky was missing you a lot. You had called him the night before to tell him that you were only gonna be 2 more days but that didn't help. The constant nightmares made him feel so tired and depressed.

Bucky was halfway through making himself a cup of coffee when he heard the door open to your shared apartment. Before he could turn around, you were wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing kisses to his back.

"I missed you so much babe," you told him.

Bucky turned to face you, "I missed you too doll."

Bucky opened his arms and you hugged him. He buried his nose in your hair. You stood like that for a couple of minutes before you felt something wet on your hair and Bucky’s body tremble. You pulled back to see him crying.

"what's wrong babe?" you asked, cradling his face between your hands.

"I-I felt so alone while you were gone doll. I feel so stupid but the nightmares came back," Bucky sobbed.

You jumped up onto the nearest counter and opened your arms. Bucky walked over to you and rested his forehead under your chin while you rubbed his back.

The counter helped you be higher than Bucky so you could properly comfort him.

"shhh, you're not alone anymore and you're definitely not stupid. Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to cry babe," you whispered into his ear.

Bucky continued to sob into your chest for some time before the sobs turned into small sniffles and hiccups.

"I'm sorry doll for doing this to you. You're probably tired and me crying is the last thing you need right now," Bucky said looking down.

You put your hand under his chin to get him to look at you.

"I told you it's ok. The last thing you need to do is worry about me."

Bucky lifted you up and walked intp your shared bedroom. He placed you gently onto the bed and went into the closet to get a pair of boxers and a worn t-shirt . He knew how much you love wearing his clothes to bed.

You got changed and joined Bucky under the covers of your bed. You laid down with your arm out so Bucky could lay with his head on your breast.

"I thought you were gonna be a couple more days."

"Me to, but we got things done quickly. I'm sorry for not telling you, I just wanted it to be a surprise."

"it's thd best surprise I could ask for doll," Bucky looked up at you "when did you shower because you don't look like you've just come off a mission."

"I used one of the showers in the compound so I would be ready to go to bed as soon as I got here," you explained.

"I love you doll, so much, more than I could ever tell or show you," Bucky said, looking at you.

He leaned up to press a chased kiss to your lips.

"The same goes for you baby, I love you so much and I want you to know that you're never alone. I'm always a phone call away and if not I can promise you that I'll call you back as soon as I can."

"You're my world doll," Bucky mumbled with a smile in his face.

His eyes were getting heavy and he was welcoming the sleep which was something he hadn't done in a month. He knew that whenever you were there he was never alone and safe from the nightmares.

With that, he fell asleep, forgetting the coffee he was making himself in a pointless attempt to keep him from sleeping. Only thinking about how happy he was to have you home.

If you want to be tagged whenever I post a fic click on the link

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Taglist: @nicoline1998enilocin, @buckys-wintersoldier

[berberriescorner]

"Through It All"

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader.

Summary: There aren’t many things that put Rio on edge. Most people see a calm, cool, and collected individual. Keeping a level head is his specialty. What happens when the person he loves most needs him to be strong for both of them? Get a glimpse of what it’s like seeing him hold someone down through thick and thin, in sickness and health. If you know, you know.

**PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS AND AUTHOR’S NOTE**

Warnings: Angst…like seriously. You’ll understand once you read the author’s note. This fic contains sweet, soft, fluffy Rio. The fic includes some of my crazy humor with a smidge of the character’s inner thoughts. If reading about gynecological procedures makes you uncomfortable, this may not be a fic for you. It doesn’t go into great detail, but it is mentioned and sheds a bit of light. If mentions of the ins and outs of fertility is a soft spot, please read with caution. It isn’t my intention to bring anyone down, but this story is based on parts of my own experiences. Again, the note will explain more.

Author/Personal Note: Okay. Where to start? So, as some of you may know throughout the past two years I’ve been getting cycles of iron infusions. This year, after making several complaints and an ER visit or two. I had an ultrasound performed, which led to me getting surgery months later (the procedure I had done recently). I’ve been spending my days at home recovering, and it’s given me time to reflect. Damn, it’s been a rough couple of years, but I’m so thankful through it all. It’s difficult having a plethora of health issues. This situation put so much added stress on top of it all. As a woman, hearing you have a fibroid. Learning it’s best to get it removed to protect your fertility is scary as hell. You get it done, get sent home, and though you have loved ones taking amazing care of you. It’s still a difficult, challenging process. At times, it’s lonely. No one but you can fully wrap your head around the emotions and feelings the body is going through. It’s pretty wild.

Anywho, sorry y’all. Let me stop rambling and get to the point. We all know how overactive my imagination is. Being stuck in bed, my mind has been wandering. I thought to myself why not take this experience and channel it into a fic. I’m hoping that this will also be a comforting story to anyone who’s been through the same experience. Here is a look at how I envision Rio taking in the experience with his lady. I plan to write at least two more parts for this. Happy reading my lovelies! I wrote this on a whim, in celebration of my birthday, so ignore the grammatical errors my loves. I may come back and do some more editing. Depends on how I’m feeling.

Word Count: 1,800+. 

Inspired By💜:

Random fun fact: Toni Braxton and I have the same birthday😆. Happy Birthday, Queen💓.

Everything was still as a deafening silence fell across the room. It was as if each occupant was afraid to utter a single word. Your mother pretended to distract herself with a Kindle book as your father paced the floor quietly. They’d share a glance each time they checked their watch, smiling at one another in comfort and reassurance. 

Then, together, they directed their attention toward the chair in the far right corner. It was tucked in a tight corner next to a window, giving little relief and comfort to your husband, Rio. He, too was anxious, but no one would ever know it. He was always able to still his facial features. Never one to give his emotions away. The only person who could read him wasn’t in the room. You were on the other side of the building and the reason for your families’ nervousness. No longer able to stand the constant glances and silence, Rio stood from his seat. He released a breath, rubbing his palms against his jeans. Turning to your parents, he stated, “I’m going to grab a quick cup of coffee from the cafeteria. Would you two like something?”

Your mother, a gentle, nurturing soul, responded for both of them.

“No, baby. We’re fine. Don’t worry. I’ll come find you if we receive news.”

Rio ducked away in a vacant spot in the cafeteria, hands folded over top of the steam of the coffee. He searched for peace and solace until a jolting vibration exploded in his jacket pocket. Fumbling for the phone, he answered without looking.

“What they say ma-. Oh, my bad. Wassup? Everything good?” Rio listened patiently before snapping. “You know this is something you could’ve handled yourself, right? I don’t have time for the three stooges bullshit today.”

He instantly felt a slight pang of guilt. Rio realized that the stress and worry of his current situation were influencing his mood. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed. Inhaling, he continued, “My bad bro. She’s been in for three hours, and it’s got me tweaking. Nobody’s giving us any damn answers. It’s a non-invasive procedure, but it’s still considered major surgery. I just need to hear she’s good.”

“It’s all good, boss. I know you’re worried about wifey. She’s a strong woman. Boss lady’s going to be alright. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. Call me as soon as you know something,” Mick responded.

“You're right. Thank you for holdin’ shit down.”

He laid his phone on the table, burying his face in his hands. The last few moments he spent with you were on repeat in his mind. Rio returned to the present, hearing the chair opposite him slide backward. His eyes connected with your father’s, and he readied himself for wherever the conversation would go.

It was no secret that the two hadn’t always seen eye to eye. The two men sat for several minutes before your father started speaking.

“I’ll be honest with you, man. You’re not at all what I envisioned for my daughter.”

“You seriously want to have this conversation right now?”

“Now wait, son. Let me finish.”

Hold up. It’s son now? Where is this going? It didn’t even sound disrespectful. It doesn’t sound like he’s trying to play me on some sucka shit. I’ll hear him out.

Rio nodded his head, giving your father the floor.

“I may not know all you do for a living, son, but I know you’ve managed to make a comfortable and safe life for my baby girl. When it comes down to it, that’s what I’ve always wanted for her. It took me some time to come to terms with it, but I know, without a doubt, that you’re doing everything in your power to make her feel protected and loved. Let me just say what I’m getting at,” he chuckled. “You’re good at hiding it, son, but I know you’re worried. Hell, so are we, but that’s alright.”

Rio’s head dropped, shoulders slumping. He took the opportunity to be vulnerable finally. Your father’s acceptance allowed him the space to do so. He felt a comforting grip land on his shoulder. Your father finished, “Baby girl is going to be alright, son. With all your love and support, she’ll be back on her feet soon. Now, you take a few more moments to yourself. Don’t be surprised when her momma wraps you up in a big hug when you head back. She’s worried about her favorite son-in-law.”

Rio chuckled, “I’m her only son-in-law, sir.”

“Even better. You ain’t gotta share. That sweet woman sure knows how to smother people in love.”

“You’re daughter is the same way. It’s one of the many things I love about her.”

“Which is why you understand my reasons for being so guarded. That’s my baby girl. Enough with that ‘sir’ shit too. Call me pops. My son may not like that, but I get a kick out of irritating him anyway. He’s overprotective of his sister.”

“Y’all gon’ try to take me out if I ever mess up, huh?”

“What I look like snitching on myself? Let’s not ever get to that bridge, son.”

The two men shared a laugh, but everything turned serious when they saw your mom power walking towards them. Rio's heart began thudding in his chest.

“Ma, what’s wrong? Did-.”

“Relax, sugar,” she cooed, rubbing a hand against both men’s arms. “The nurse said the doctor should be ready to talk to us in about fifteen minutes. Let’s head back to the waiting room.”

Fifteen minutes came and went. Your mother couldn’t help but crack a smile at both men. They both started fussing about how long the surgeon was taking. She felt sorry for the man once he approached them. The doctor, attempting to apologize, was cut off by an impatient Rio.

“You good, doc. We understand these things take time, but excuse us for being anxious. We were under the impression this would be about an hour-long procedure. How’s my wife?”

The surgeon explained himself. “That’s what we anticipated, but the process took longer. Your wife’s last ultrasound a few months back showed a fibroid the size of a plum. Sadly, it grew to the size of an orange, which would explain why things grew more difficult during her last few cycles. However, you’ll be happy to know that we managed to do it laparoscopically, and everything looks great. She’s being taken to recovery now, but we’ve decided to keep her overnight.”

All three of your family members asked, “Why is that,” in unison.

“We just want to keep an eye on her for the next twenty-four hours. Given gas was used to see things more clearly, we’d like to monitor her. We’ll need to see that she gets up and walks to get things flowing. I just want to be sure she gets it moving out of her system. Also, since she’s anemic, we just want to be extra careful. I promise everything went well, and she should be ready to go in the morning.”

Each family member felt at ease. The trio waited for an invitation to your recovery room. Though he wanted to be the first person you saw when you woke up, Rio encouraged your parents to go first. The two visitors' only rule irritated them all.

Your eyes fluttered open, and your parents laughed at the slurred responses given to your nurse. Your parents took turns kissing your forehead, expressing encouraging words. Your father, now at ease, left the room in search of Rio.

“You might want to hurry back there. She’s still a bit loopy. Baby girl has been asking the nurse, where my husband? You got my baby acting ratchet in this hospital,” he joked.

“Aye, she was like that when I met her,” he laughed, walking towards recovery.

Rio slid behind the curtain, laying eyes on the most precious sight. You were in bed, laid back, eyes closed, singing off-key as your mother held your hand, laughing. The nurse stepped beside him, giving a small giggle.

“She’s been looking for you. Ma’am, the man of the hour is here.”

Your eyes popped open as you halted the song. “My husbannnd! Hey baeee,” you winced, given the pain and having a hoarse voice.

“Mama, you back here wildin’ ain’t you? How’s our little patient doing, ma,” he directed toward your mom.

“Crazy as ever. This girl opened her eyes, looked at me, and called herself whispering. Loud as ever, she asked me if she still had a uterus. Her daddy would’ve turned red if he were capable.”

They both shared a laugh as you did your best to shrug shoulders. Wanting to give you two privacy, your mom went to sit in the waiting room. Rio turned to you, holding your hand. His lips brushed across your knuckles, and he shivered at how cold they were. Wrapping his hand around yours, he tried warming the digits.

“My momma ain’t answer my question though,” you mumbled, eyes closed.

Rio smiled, “What’s that now, mama?”

“My uterus. Sis still in there, right?”

“Yes, darlin’. What makes you think it’s not?”

“I signed them papers, man. In the event of a ‘mergency, they were going to take shawty,” you sassed, words still slurring.

Rio did his best to hold back a cackle. Clearing his throat, he replied, “Mama, you straight. Everything went according to plan. There was no emergency. The fibroid is out. It was bigger than expected. That’s why it feels like you were out for a while.”

“Aight bet. So when we making babies,” you asked, wincing again.

“First off, sit still, mama. Your body is pretty sore right now.”

“Baby, I’m drugged up! I don’t feel nothin’.”

“Second. You’ll be recovering for four to six weeks. You’re not going to be in any type of mood for all that. I believe the surgeon said no sex for two to three weeks. No babies for at least six months, darlin’. They just sliced your uterus open and stitched it back together, mama,” he explained, running his thumb across your lip.

He laughed at the pout etched on your face. Rio caressed the side of your face, kissing you gently. “On some real shit. I was worried out my mind over you, mama. I’m so glad you’re good. You’re my world. The clock kept ticking, and I was about to lose it.”

Your eyes connected with his, “I’m right here, papa. I’m good. We gonna be good. No matter what,” you whispered. Even through the drugs and drowsiness, you could feel his angst. Rio could read between the lines. He knew what you were trying to communicate. It had been on both your minds heavily. Your eyes connected with his. Rio saw the unshed tears you were holding back, and he swallowed hard, nodding his head in agreement. No matter where this path led, Rio knew, in his heart, that he loved you with everything in him.

Baby or not, we’ll still feel fulfilled and happy. My life’s purpose is to love and give you the world.

This piece was both personal and therapeutic for me to write. I truly hope you all enjoyed it. Please be sure to comment and reblog, it's appreciated. Now I'm about to go eat some birthday cake and read some amazing fan fiction😆.

Divider credit💜 : @firefly-graphics

tagging💜 : @4everbrookemarie @darqchilddaydreamz @astoldbychae @sunshine-flower

@nightlywords7 @starrynite7114 @amorestevens @fineanddandy

@rio-reid-whoreee @that-one-anxious-mango @novaniskye

@alertyoulikeitsamber @1andonlytashae @lovedlover @blkbutterfly816 @banana123pudding

[vex91]

Minatozaki Sana - Lovely

Pairing: Minatozaki Sana x Female Reader

Fandom: Twice

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: Imagine: Sana comes home drunk is extremely affectionate, sweet and sappy towards reader

Summary: Sana was always a very affectionate person since she loved letting people she cares about know how much she loves them. Her affection becomes even more extreme after a few drinks and especially when it came to you.

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting <3 I'm sorry that it's bad😭

3rd's POV

Relationship with Sana meant that you had to like affection. There was no way that you would be in a relationship and a happy one at that if you wouldn't be able to take Sana's affectionate nature. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, back hugs and other things like that helps Sana show people she cares about her love for them.

Of course her love is even bigger for you since you're her girlfriend so these things were a normal occurrence in your life together. Even though she showed you her love everyday, Sana was able to slow down if the affection became too much for you and she wouldn't feel hurt by it, she would just take a break before continuing showing you her love.

What you didn't know about Sana is that her affectionate side grew after a few drinks.

That day Sana went out with the girls for a few drinks to celebrate their new album success. That was a pretty normal thing with them and you already got used to it but this was the first time that she went out with them to drink ever since you two started living together which meant that it was also the first time you'll see a drunk Sana coming back home.

Sana came back home some time before 1 AM. You already were in bed but since you wanted to wait for your girlfriend, you decided to read a book in a meantime. When you heard a sound of keys downstairs, you put your book down and followed the sound until you got to the front door. You opened them and the sight you were met with caused a chuckle to escape you. Sana stood there with her arm wrapped around Jihyo's waist for support, keys in her other hand told you that she tried to open the door but her drunken state made it quite difficult for her.

You shook your head at the sight "Thanks for bringing her back safely" Jihyo smiled at you "It's okay, I didn't wanted her to go back home in this state either. Here, I need to go before Nayeon does something that she'll regret tomorrow" She handed you your girlfriend who immediately wrapped her arms tightly around you and left in order to take care of the other girls who knowing them were in a worse state than Sana.

You somehow managed to close the door with Sana literally hanging on you and slowly you brought her into your living room "Come on love, sit down here" You tried to make Sana sit down so you could go bring her a glass of water but the girl seemed to have other plans and as you got her to sit down, she pulled you down with her and immediately her arms were back around you. She kept you closely to herself as she started giving you kisses on your head, every one of them followed by a loud exaggerated smooch sound.

"I love you so much" She mumbled into your hair as she started rubbing your back. You smiled into the crook of her "I know, you say it everyday. I love you too" You patted her knee and she immediately pulled away to look at you "You should know~" She slurred as she quickly collapsed on you and connected your lips in a messy but sweet kiss. You could taste the alcohol that she drank earlier but you didn't pulled away, you only did when you felt her hands sneaking their way to your pants.

"No so quickly Minatozaki, we're not doing anything today. You're drunk" You stood up and pulled her up with you, ignoring her constant whines "Come on, it's late" You said as you started pulling her to your bedroom. You somehow managed to help her change ignoring her constant efforts to get into your pants. You even managed to slip away from her to get her a glass of water that she fortunately took from you without any type of protest.

And now here you were, under the covers with your girlfriend. Her grip around you tight despite her falling asleep not so long ago as she didn't wanted you to go anywhere anymore. You looked at her and even in a messy state she was in she looked incredibly beautiful.

You sure were lucky to have such a lovely girlfriend.