#It was really good. Let's dial it up to eleven

[pucked-bunnie]

hands off ⎜m.barzal

pairings: mat barzal x reader prompts: "can you please come get me?" + "Don't fucking touch what isn't yours." warnings: mentions of stalking? ⎜drunk people ⎜reader is uncomfy ⎜ word count: 1.4k note: I got a lot of request for Mat so I decided that these two go well together and ended up combining them. Requests are open!

(UNEDITED)

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The party was supposed to be fun. 

It was supposed to be a good way for you to find new friends - to bond with some of the other wags. 

And sure the night started out fun. 

“I promise they’ll take good care of you, it’s just dinner and some drinks.” Mat had assured you as he watched you pull on your coat, the oversized denim jacket holding in any warmth it could manage, stopping the slight tremble of your limbs at the winter cold. 

Moving to New York had been a big adjustment, especially in the dead of winter. Mat had talked to some of his teammates, hoping to be able to set up a girls night with some of the wives and girlfriends on the team to help you adjust to being in a new city, to help you make some new friends to keep you company when he was away so often. All the girls were quick to agree, adding you to the team group chat to discuss the details. 

“I know, but it’s been so long since I’ve gone out and my sister warned me about the bars around here.” You respond as you glance up at him, pulling your lip between your teeth. 

You wanted him to comfort you. 

To give you a reason to cancel. 

Or to say he would come with you. 

Meeting new people was terrifying. 

“I swear it’ll be fine, just message me when you’re ready and I’ll come get you.” You nod slowly at his words, leaning up on your toes to press a soft kiss against his cheek, Mat giving you a big smile as he pushes you lightly towards the front door of the bar, leaning against the side of his car until the front door closes behind you. 

Mat was right. 

The night started out fun. 

But things changed so quickly. 

“Hey, you’ll be right to head home on your own right?” Anders asks, his wife draped against his side, a drunk smile on her face as he holds her steady with one arm around her waist. “Mat’s on his way?” He questions, you don’t really respond, just giving a tight smile. 

You had messaged Mat. 

You swear. 

Anders pats your shoulder softly, before dragging his wife out of the club, trying to avoid her incessant affections. You watch as they leave the constantly filling bar, the crowds of people getting louder, more boisterous as the night carries on. The others had been picked up earlier by their partners, each whisked off in a slightly tipsy haze. 

You had been left on delivered for the last thirty five minutes. 

And there was no sign of Mat responding anytime soon. 

“He’s probably fallen asleep.” You reassure yourself, you phone showing a time of eleven forty eight pm, way past Mat’s normal bedtime. 

Letting out a long sigh, you push away from the spot at the bar, grabbing your jacket off the back of your chair, slinging it over your shoulders, buttoning each button tightly before hefting your purse up on your shoulder. 

Your apartment wasn’t far away. 

The walk would have to be brisk with the cold seeping into your bones, but it was do-able. 

You smile softly as the door managers as you exit, crossing your arms over your chest with your phone tight in your hand as you start walking down the block. 

You can hear as they exit behind you. 

The four men bustling amongst each other. 

Each of them daring the other to close the gap. 

You type quickly on your phone, pressing the cold glass to your ear as the dial tone rings in your ear. 

You dare to glance back, the men pausing for a moment, discussing something between themselves. 

“Baby?” Mat’s voice is groggy, coughing a few times as he repeats, “Baby, are you there?” You catch yourself nodding in response - despite the fact that Mat can’t hear you - your free arm tight around you as you speed up a little more. 

“Can you please come get me?” You ask softly into the phone, you can hear the rusting of a blanket and the padding of Mat’s bare feet on your apartment floor as he moves around the rooms. 

“Where are you?” He asks quickly, “Are you safe?” 

“Like five minutes from the bar, I thought I could make it.” You continue, your body jumping as you hear the footsteps close in. 

“Hey, wait.” You hear a voice call out from behind you, the man's voice slurred slightly, his friends egging him on. 

“Who was that?” Mat asks, the jangling of his keys ringing through the phone. “Are you walking?” He asks again, his voice deeper, more gravely, the easiest to tell that he was angry. 

“You weren’t responding.” You justify, “It’s only a fifteen minute walk, I thought it would be fine.” You hear Mat let out a cuss, the words sounding far away. You can hear his fingers swiping on his screen before he swears again, the sound of a grunt a thump before his voice is close to your ear again. 

“I’m on my way - stay on the phone with me, okay?” You nod again, glancing once more over your shoulder the men are closing on you now. 

Mat’s breathing heavily into the phone, reminding you to keep walking. 

He’ll be there soon, he promises. 

The hand lands out your arm roughly, your body swung around to face them. 

“I asked you to wait.” The man groans, he couldn’t have been more than mid twenties, you wish he knew how scared you were right now. 

“My boyfriend is on his way to come get me. I’m not interested.” You speak confidently, you can hear the muffled sounds of Mat saying something into the phone, but you can’t make out the words, your arm dropping to your side as the man's friends stop around the two of you. 

“Let me go.” You say, firm in your words. 

“But you haven’t even heard me out yet.” The man whines, his tone similar to that of an upset child. “Please give me a chance.” He whines again, his hand still clamped on your arm. The man is clearly drunk, his friends goading him on. 

“I bet she’s lying.” One says. 

“She probably doesn’t even have a boyfriend.” The other adds. 

“Show her what she’s missing out on.” The last one says. 

The man in front of you pauses, his eyes flicking over your shoulder, heavy steps stopping behind you, the man’s hand loosening slowly. 

“Didn’t your mothers ever teach you boys manners?” Mats voice hisses from beside you, his hand reaching out to close around the drunk stranger's wrist, the man releasing you quickly. 

“Don’t fucking touch what isn’t yours.” Mat sneers, his body moving in front of your as he pushes the man away from the two of you. 

The men are smart. 

They retreat quickly, excuses falling from their mouths. 

“Sorry man.” One sighs. 

“Didn’t mean any harm.” The other adds. 

Mat glares at the back of them as they stumble back down the street to the bar, their attention finding some other people to focus on. 

“You ran all the way here?” You ask. 

“Yes.” Mat responds. 

“Are you mad at me?” You question quietly, Mat’s chest heaving, as he runs his fingers through his hair. 

“What?” He asks, spinning on the spot to face you, letting out a long sigh as he reaches for you, his arms wrapping around your head to pull you into his chest, his hands stroke your hair as he lets out another long breath. 

“I’m mad at myself.” He says quietly. “I told you I would come get you as soon as you messaged and I was an idiot and fell asleep.” 

“It’s okay.” You grumble into his chest, your words muffled by his thick hoodie. 

“I was so scared.” 

“So was I.” You agree, pulling your head away from his chest to look up at him, smiling as you pull yourself out of his arms, reaching to latch your hand in his as you pull him to start walking besides you. 

“I can’t believe you ran all the way to help me.” You chuckle softly, finally tucking your phone back into your pocket, the danger ebbing away as you watch your boyfriend's shoulders slump as he shakes his head in disbelief. 

“I can’t believe I did, either.”

[phoenixcatch7]

Dp x dc twin au where Danny and Damian were in fact conjoined/siamese twins, but the most dangerous type - one head, two bodies.

Their early removal from talia being because their shape would not have allowed for natural birth, they were written off but talia begged for the chance to send them off in the lazarus pit.

By some bizarre miracle, before she turned to leave, two small bodies bobbed to the surface - identical in every way, except for the eyes. The previous blue eyes now split in two, one left, one right, and the new eyes, pit created, a bright green.

She took her child, her two children, and together, they survived.

Being removed prematurely, their early years were tough, but soon they blossomed into promising heirs for the league. In sync with every step, the closest of brothers, the league was certain the old fairy tale of twins being telepathic had been granted by the pit that separated them, the remnants of being born as one mind, one brain, one skull.

But then Danny had to flee, and leave his other half behind. Stretched by distance for the first time, the bond grew thin and stretched, and Damian grieved his brother as dead. When he started being sent on public missions, he hid his distinctive heterochromia, choosing the green in memory of the pit that had given him and his brother life.

Danny, hiding his pit aura in the ocean's worth that was Amity park, took to blue, the colour that he and Damian were born with.

Damian moves to Gotham, and continues to mourn his brother as dead, right until one day when he is twelve, when he learns what the death of your other half truly feels like.

-

Their reunion is a thing of family legend. Violence runs hot in both bloodlines, ghosts are highly emotional and prone to fighting a the drop of a hat for bonding, playing, testing, every reason under the green sun. Their training and play often consisted of friendly spars, competitive spars, furious spars, venting spars. Both have been exposed to unhealthy amounts of ecto since before their birth.

There is a long, long minute of staring, before they rip themselves away and lunge at each other like wolves.

The bat family are horrified by their brutally efficient youngest suddenly barreling towards a clone (?) and trying to claw his throat open with his bare hands while openly sobbing.

It ends with them wrapped around each other crying into the others shoulder as their minds finally meet again and relax from the painful stretch for the first time in years.

But nobody else has any idea what to do.

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Eleven: [The Man]

Summary: When Jake and Jensen go head to head over who means what yo you, things escalate to new heights, so much so that Jake lashes out and says something that may not be forgiven.

Warnings: Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Mentions of religion. JEALOUS JAKE!

Word Count: 5.6K

Author Note: This chapter brings the total word count of this series to 50k....I cannot believe that an idea that began as a one-shot has turned into this. Thank you all so much for your support on this one. xxx

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

There was a brief moment right before your shower where Jake was able to step out into the hall to call his sister Jasmine. He knew the call he was about to make was going to be neither short, nor pleasant. But he also knew that deep down, you weren’t mentally prepared to tell your children you were sick. But the pair of you had to start somewhere. And that somewhere was Jake’s sister. 

“What the FUCK is going on!” One single ring. One dial. That's how long it took Jake's sister to answer, hell, Jake thought it would have been sooner but he gave her a little good grace for potentially having to step out of whatever family dynamic she found herself in. “Mum said Y/n’s sick?” 

“Did she say it like that?” Jake replied unamused as he found an empty chair to sit on in the waiting room area down the hall. He didn't want to stray too far away from your room. Although he knew that you were with the nurses, he couldn't find it inside himself to leave. If Jake tried hard enough, he could still see your bed socks at the end of your hospital bed. 

“Uh–” Jasmine's apprehensive silence confirmed all Jake needed to know. “She may have said it with a little hope in her chest, mentioned the words dropped and dead in the same sentence of wishful thinking.” Jake couldn’t say he was surprised after the way Janeen had spoken so poorly about you directly to his face. He couldn't really imagine what she’d been saying to other members of the Seresin family. “But what's going on? I'm keeping an eye on the kids as much as I can but holy shit mum's just on a warpath–” 

Fuck: Jake knew leaving the kids behind was a bad idea on his behalf. The guilt of running off on his children in the middle of the night was beginning to eat him alive. The idea of lying to them about your condition only made that guilt harder to rationalise. 

“Okay, can you just promise me you won’t tell the kids?” Jake groaned into the phone. “Y/n doesn't want them to worry so she doesn't want to say too much.” 

“Jake–” Jasmine's voice changed, the serious nature of the conversation at hand was beginning to shine through with ease. “She's alright, isn't she?” Jasmine asked as Jake let his elbows rest on top of his thighs. This whole situation, the newly found world of which you were living in was begging to give Jake the head spins. Keeping up was exhausting, but this wasn't about Jake now was it. “This is Y/n we’re talking about, she has to be alright.”

Unbeknownst to you, Jake had been reading all your files, all your reports, everything and anything he could get his hands on about your diagnosis. After all, he had been named your emergency contact not long after showing up. He’d made a convincing case. Jake knew a lot about your current situation. He knew the odds, chances, risks and possibilities. 

“She's been diagnosed with Stage three A, triple positive grade three invasive doctoral carcinoma.” Jake explained to his sister who on the other end of the call, sat watching his youngest try to eat the sand from the sandpit Jake himself used to shit in as a child. “The oral chemo they had her started on caused a stroke, apparently it's a common side effect, to me they shouldn't be pumping people full of that crap if its gonna cause a fucking stroke forty percent of the time.” 

Jake knew the silence on the other end of the line was due to an overload of information getting caught in his sister's cerebellum. It was a lot to take in, hell Jake still hadn’t really been given an opportunity to take it all in. since he found out he’d been go go go. He knew an impending moment of weakness mixed with overall exhaustion was coming. When that moment would come he wasn't sure. 

“You’re lying–” Was all Jasmine said. Jake wished more than anything he could say he was. 

“Fucked up thing to lie about Jas–” Jake responded softly as he listened to the hustle and bustle of the hospital wing his sat in. “She hadn’t been feeling well for a few months, Doctors say it's aggressive, feeds off her hormones and stuff.” Jake didn't understand a lot of it, but he was trying his best to navigate a field he wasn't an excerpt in. “She's in for a preventative double mastectomy on Christmas Eve. It would've been earlier but the strokes kinda set her back a few days.” 

“Jake– I don't believe you, the kids–what about the kids, what do I tell them?” Jasmine couldn't comprehend the devastation this would cause on the already struggling family dynamic. You and Jake were meant to be, everyone knew that. But this whole separation, the miscommunication and overall fractures within your marriage were all major contributing factors as to why love just couldn’t be enough.

“Don't tell them anything, please, for the love of God Jas don't tell them anything, I just–” Jake let out a sigh of frustration as he ran his hand free hand through his hair. God he needed a haircut. “We just need a little time to process what's going on and Y/n–she's been doing this for too long on her own, I can’t keep letting her down so just, take a moment to breathe for me.” 

“Holy fuck you aren’t kidding about any of this are you?” Jasmine with all her good graces and problematic marital issues of her own, looked over at where her husband sat with hers and Jake's father. The sight was enough to send a shiver down her spine. The man who raised her was not someone who Jasmine ever wanted her brother to become. Losing your wife to such a disease that was as unforgiving as it was inhumane could potentially be an origin story bubbling under the surface of Jake's skin. 

“Jake–You don't get to turn into dad if this ends anything less than Y/n walking away from this cancer free Jake, your kids deserve to have a dad that won't treat them like burdens and mistakes.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~**

“Watch your step alright?” Our skulls are designed to cushion our brains. Our rib cages are specifically moulded to guard our hearts. The human body is built to protect our most vulnerable parts. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to work. 

The way in which Jake helped to guide you out of the bathroom with his hand pressed firmly against the small of your back made your heart skip a beat. You held tightly onto his forearm with one hand and in the other? Was your IV poll, still pumping you full of antibiotics and fluids. 

“I got it.” You tried to focus on just putting one foot in front of the other. That's what this whole thing was about right? This battle, this fight. It was all about putting one foot in front of the other. With Jake by your side, albeit with some underlying resentment still to be discussed, you felt as though those steps, small but meaningful in their own right, were made with intent and purpose to keep fighting. “Shit the air-con feels so weird on my head.” You chuckled to yourself as Jake shut the bathroom door behind the both of you. 

“Yeah holy shit it's like–” As Jake's eyeline faltered from you to the figure standing over near the door, his heart sunk into his stomach. His face turned to stone as the green in his eyes, usually an emerald colour, darkened to something more pine-like. The half finished sentence that left your husband's mouth and tailed off into complete and utter silence was what got your attention the most. It wasn't like Jake to not say what was on his mind. 

“What's up?” As you turned your head slowly, you saw the man who had been nothing but a pillar of support for you to lean on since your diagnosis. It was the man who had kept you above water when you felt like you’d been drowning in a sea of unprecedented mortality. “Jensen–” The shock and excitement in your tone was something Jake couldn't miss no matter how much he wanted to. “You came?” 

Jake made no attempt to move as you shuffled forward, he stood still with his heart hammering inside his chest. He stood completely still as his thoughts carried him away into a world where nothing made sense to anyone. Into a world where he didn't have you, a world where for the last year he’d tasted of that very misery and hated every last second of it. 

“I uh–” Jensen held out the bouquet of sweet peas, peonies and pansies he’d brought for you. The overwhelming colours and signature scents captivated the entire room with their freshness. “I wanted to stop by, see how you were doing, hope I'm not intruding?” 

The body tends to adapt quickly to new circumstances and pressures it’s put under. It knows how to protect itself. But it can’t close off completely, or well—we’re not really living are we? Biology tends to override our fears, so we leave the door open, just a little…hoping like hell that it's worth the risk. 

“Oh no, no we just finished up some DIY haircuts.” You beamed, the smile that ignited across your face was a smile Jake hadn't seen in years. A smile so pure and full of love that it couldn't ever be faked. “Jake, this is Jensen.” You introduced the two men who had played significant roles in your life, having no clue that they had both already met one another in the hall. “We met at the doctors office, as unfortunate as that sounds, it's been really nice to have someone who just, knows.” Jake slowly but surely aided you over to your bed before he made his way over to where Jensen stood watching idly. Assessing the situation unfolding before him. “Jensen convinced me to go to a few of those CCA meetings, although not my cup of tea–it's nice to know that that support system is there.” 

Jake eyed Jensen and his bouquet of flowers off as he stepped closer and closer with a look Jensen couldn't quite read in his pine green eyes. The betrayal of love often has boundaries that people end up living with for the rest of their lives. For Jake, his betrayal and the consequences of his emotional ineptitude inside his marriage was starting to play out right before his very eyes. 

He saw the potential that there was in fact another man. And oh boy did he hate it. 

“And Jensen, this is Jake, my husband.” Jensen took subtle notice of the way you introduced Jake to him as your husband, not your ex-husband like you'd been referring to him as since the two of you first met. Something had changed, Jensen could sense it. But for as much as Jensen could sense the chemistry between you and Jake, Jake could see the way your eyes lit up with overjoyous surprise when you realised that the flowers Jensen held in his hand were in fact for you. “Are those, are those for me?” 

“Oh–yeah.” Jensen beamed as he walked a little further into your room. “I thought they might bring a little light into your room but it seems that you have it pretty well decorated.” It was the small nod to the Christmas lights that hung around your room that made you smile even brighter as Jake made his way back over and helped you into bed. You could tell there was tension brewing just from his quietness alone. “And the new haircut suits you, good thing you don't have a weird ass head huh?”

“Hey Jarred–” Jake interrupted before you had a chance to reply, the way he intentionally called Jensen by a different name rubbed you the wrong way. The frown that cast itself across your face left little to Jake's imagination, but as he made sure you were as comfortable as could be in your bed, he kept going. “Nows, probably not a good time–” 

Jensen looked around your room carefully, he knew the system well and what times were more common than not for nurses to do their daily rounds and check-ins. He knew that by the looks of things you had just showered and were probably settling in for the afternoon. If Jensen was correct in his assumption as he looked back towards where Jake stood at your bedside, he would assume that he couldn't have picked a better time to drop by. 

“Seems like a pretty good time to me man, besides, why don't we let Y/n here make that call.” Jensen replied calmly as he went about finding a place for your flowers to go. Jensen could have played the safe card, he could have chosen to be the bigger person and not mention it, but he didn't really have a hell of alot to lose. After all, he was a dead man walking. What was the harm in stirring the pot a little where he still could. “Honestly, I didn't expect you to be here if I'm being completely honest.” Jensen smirked as he turned back to face Jake. You felt like your heart was about to explode right through your chest as you looked back and forth between the two men who had seemingly gotten into a mines bigger than yours contest on either side of your bedside. “Didn't think you knew your wife was sick–” 

The silence was deafening as Jake thought about all the ways he could kill a man in one single motion. The rage he felt inside his chest was red hot jealousy. Jensen could practically see the steam spewing out of Jake's years. 

“What my wife decides to share with me has nothing to do with you–” Jake growled, you could just see the way he was grinding his teeth. Jake's jawline had never seemed more profound. His knuckles were almost entirely white as he leaned against the railing of your hospital bed. Lowered down for convenience of getting in and out. 

“It does when I’ve been the one listening to how much she wishes you loved her the same way she loves you.” Jensen shrugged. “Come on man, don't play this game, don't pretend that I don't know what been going on–” 

“Enough!” You couldn't have shouted it slider if you tried. “Both of you, my god we’re all supposed to be adults here?” You sighed as you looked at Jake and then over to Jensen. Something was off with him, this wasn't the Jensen you knew. He seemed off, very off. “Can you two just back up, let's start over.” However, it was a plea that fell on deaf ears.

Remember that impending moment of weakness mixed with overall exhaustion Jake mentioned earlier? Yeah– about that. Guess it was coming around the corner sooner rather than later. 

“Nah–” Jake shook his head as he let out a sigh. This was bullshit, you really had him fooled. He really did think that there was a possibility here that maybe, just maybe, the two of you could fix what he had unintentionally broken while focusing on your health. “Nah, I'm not gonna put up with this dickhead.” Jake hissed as unclenched his hands from the railing on your bed. “I'm gonna go get a coffee, try not to catch each other's cancer cells while I'm gone.” 

“Jake, don't leave!” You begged as you sat up a little straighter in your bed. “Please—“ The panic that followed was something otherworldly as you watched Jake round out of the hospital room that had become your home away from home. “Please!” 

Jensen was if anything, enraged. He hadn’t helped the situation but he never would have left your side after making a remark so thickly lacquered with jealousy. He didn't think Jake would react the way he did, so quick to make assumptions. The small gift Jensen still held in his hand was quickly placed on your bedside table. 

“I’ll go talk to him—“ Jensen pressed his lips together as he let his hand fall gently to your shoulder. “My fault, I shouldn't have said what I did, I'm sorry.” Jensen didn't pretend to not see how upset you truly were. He understood what it was like to feel the weight of the world crushing your spirit. “He didn't mean what he said Y/n.” 

“He did–” You sighed as you wiped away your tears. “He asked me when he came to take the kids to his mum's house if I was seeing anyone–” 

Ah, Jensen thought to himself as he stood by your bedside and listened. 

“He wants to get back together, fix what's broken, change.” You sighed as you looked over to the open door that Jake hadn't long before walked out of. “He probably thinks you're more than a friend.” In another life, perhaps Jensen could have been more than just a good friend. In another universe somewhere he hoped that maybe you never had this unforgiving disease. But this wasn't another reality, this was right now. 

“All the more reason to fight for his girl.” Jensen cooed as he leaned in to kiss the top of your now very smooth head. “I'll go talk to your husband.” 

You caught onto the not so subtle subtlety of the way Jensen teased that title. Husband. Jake Seresin was still very much your husband. He was the very definition of a man who was supposed to be at your side through thick and thin. But right now? You were doubting his ability to fully comprehend what was happening to you. Jake’s focus shouldn’t have been on Jensen and who he was to you. But yet you couldn’t not defend him. 

“He’s not a bad guy, he’s really not—“ There was an awkward silence that lingered in the room as Jensen chose to take in what you’d said. “This is all just so much for him to take in.” 

“You don’t need to explain your relationship to me.” Jensen wanted to say that if Jake was such an alright guy, then you wouldn’t have left. He wanted to remind you of all the conversations the two of you had had over the past few months. All the times you’d cried about the man who didn’t value your time, your energy, your love. “But a woman like you should never have to beg a man to stay.” 

“I left him.” You felt the need to remind the man who stood at your bedside with an ora surrounding him you didn’t recognise. “I stopped begging him to love me a long time ago and you know that.” 

Jensen could have thrown the fact you just called out after Jake back in your face, that you’d begged your husband not to leave. But he wasn’t that mean. He was just looking out for you. Someone had to. Someone had to make sure this Jake guy had his priorities in check and that you were at the very top of that list where you belonged. 

“I know—“ Jensen pressed his lips together into a fine line. “But that guy just walked out the second things got a little more complicated, what’s gonna stop him from throwing in the towel if your health declines more than it already has?” Jensen shrugged his shoulders like he wasn’t being nasty. It was his version of tough love. 

“I’m sorry—“ You scoffed as your face contorted into that of a frown mixed with frustration. “Are you, are you testing Jake?” 

“Cancer is one of the world's most leading causes of divorce.” Jensen added like it was a statistic you should have known. He knew you knew it. “I just wanted to see how well he handled a little external pressure.” 

“You’re—“ Before you could finish your sentence, Jensen was smiling down at you from ear to ear. 

“A menace, I know, but I’m a menace that only has your best interest at heart.” Jensen explained as he sat down beside you for only a brief moment. “Your fight isn’t with Jake right now, he shouldn’t be fighting you or anyone else in your life that may come and go.” 

“Jensen—“ You knew Jensen hadn’t been well, but he hadn’t explicitly told you how bad it was. There was something in his eyes though, the way he looked at you like he was looking at you for the last time that had you worried. “What’s going on with you?” 

“I’m just making sure if you’re letting that man back into your life that he’s gonna stick around when things don’t go the way he wants them to.” Jensen smiled softly as he picked up your hand to bring towards his lips. He left a fleeting kiss upon the palm of your hand and let out a sigh he wasn’t aware he was holding in. “I’ll go track down your sook of a husband, make sure he’s aware that you’re hopelessly devoted or whatever you wanna call it.” 

“Please be nice—“ You pleaded gently as Jensen stood from your bedside. “Please.” 

“Anything for you Y/n.” Jensen replied, he knew that this would be the last time he ever saw you apart from in his own version of heaven. “Anything for you.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~*

Jake Seresin had never been a fan of hospitals. That mentality first started when he broke his leg in kindergarten and needed a full cast, but it grew with him well into adulthood. Jake had never liked hospitals, even when all three of his children were born he still hated them. Not even the love he had for his children could override the hate he felt towards the sterile environment that gave far too many infections to people to be considered ‘normal’ 

“Seresin.” But Jake had never hated hospitals more than he did the second he heard his last name being called from just a short distance down the hall. Called by a man who Jake would happily like to never see again. “The hell is your problem?” Jake caught the sight of the man who’d brought you flowers coming right towards him with a fire burning in his eyes. The man you had kept somewhat a secret from Jake. Much like your diagnosis. 

“My problem is asking me what my problem is.” Jake groaned as he took a sip of his shitty ass hospital coffee. “Don’t you and my wife have things to talk about?” Jake asked as he took a few steps away from where Jensen had stopped in his tracks. “Things I’m not privy to as it seems? Like her health or new love life?” 

“You don’t even know who I am to your wife!” Jensen barked loud enough to have Jake stopping in the middle of the hall. The six foot something aviator turned slowly on his heels to give the almost matching in height bald dude the time of day he seemed to crave. “But I know all about you, because I’ve been there for Y/n while you’ve been busy playing part time parent across the country.” Jensen had nothing to lose, he was just a dying man who had no time left to cherish. 

Jake wasn’t about to stand here and take this. He didn’t need some guy who’d stepped into your life to tell him what to do. You were the mother of Jake’s children, you’d always be that to him regardless if he could fix what he broke. 

“Get out of my face before you need a plastics consult.” Jake growled through gritted teeth all the while Jensen grinned. He was standing his ground as Jake continued on his defensive. “Because so help me god, you may feel like god right now with your self-righteous heart and knight in shining armour attitude, but you sure as hell won’t feel all high and mighty when you meet him.” 

Jensen didn't want to fight with your husband, but he did want to make it known that time was forever fleeting, and if Jake kept going the way he was there would be no time left to fix what he broke. You needed someone to be there for you, Jake had to be that person. 

Because Jensen couldn’t be that guy for you anymore, he had no fight left to give you. He had no fight left in himself. 

“You know I sympathise with you Jake, I do, it must be hard being the guy who broke your own marriage to a woman who loves so fiercely and so much.” Jensen started as he let his elbows rest atop his sweatpants clad knees. “And now having to deal with the fact that said wife is dying must be a lot to work through.” 

Jake remained speechless as his eyes lingered down to the man who was almost out of breath from his walk through the halls. He held his half drunk coffee cup in his hand with enough rage coursing through his veins that Jake was actually surprised he hadn’t crushed the flimsy cardboard vessel. 

“But you know what the worst part of all that is? Is that your priority isn’t your wife, or fixing your marriage—“ Jensen continued on. “No, it’s on the guy who your wife chose to confide in when you were nowhere to be found.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jake replied with a hiss in his tone that mimicked the deadliest of snakes. “I couldn’t give a shit who you are to her or what you want, because she’s my fucking wife—mine!” 

“And yet here you are arguing that point with me in the hall when you could be at her bedside appreciating all the small moments you’ll be lucky to look back on one day.” Jensen grew more heated as Jake took a few strides his way, towering over where Jensen sat. “You threw a fit the second I stepped into that room without using any critical thinking skills you aviators claim to have in the heat of the moment.” 

“She told me she wasn’t seeing anyone! Come to find out that that’s—“ Jake didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before Jensen intervened that train of thought. 

“She’s not! You’re wife fucking love’s you!! She kept her prognosis from you because she was so scared you didn’t love her back enough to fucking care! And you’re hung up on the idea she’s seeing someone? Me!?” Jensen scoffed as he stood, the few strides he took towards Jake were made with intent behind every single one. Enough to have Jake stumbling back every so slightly. “Here’s a concept for you man.” Jensen pressed his index finger into Jake’s sternum. “Maybe, just maybe, if I was sleeping with your wife, she’d remember her worth.” 

“You really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jake sighed, there was no way he was entertaining this delusion any more than he already had. “I think you should leave.” The idea of you being with another man sent Jake into a blind rage of jealousy that saw no reason. But at the end of the day, he was the one who walked out on you. He’d strayed too far from your hospital room and couldn’t see your bed socks anymore. 

Fuck….

“Maybe, maybe I should—“ Jensen agreed. “And hell I don’t even know you at all, but from what I’ve managed to piece together? it’s that you're a crap husband who doesn’t have the emotional capacity to handle the fact his wife could lose this battle.” Jensen retaliated with a stone cold expression. “But something I do know is that no amount of prayer or candles or begging will reverse time, so put your ego side and focus on the fact your wife needs you now more than ever before and if you leave her side the way you did today ever again, trust me when I say you’ll regret it every day of your life.” 

“Y/n isn’t dying—“ Much like Jensen was taking his fear of the unknown out on Jake, Jake was just about ready to let loose on the guy who was picking apart his very character. Sure, Jake recognised he wasn’t the best husband, but he also knew you weren’t dying. Not right now, not while he wasn’t by your side. 

“I wasn’t either, but as it turns out we all have an expiry date.” Jensen replied. The atmosphere and energy surrounding the two men who were going head to head suddenly shifted. “Some sooner than others, but we all have one, and when yours is up yours is up and there ain't nothing you can do you extend it.” 

“You’re—“ Jake couldn’t bring himself to say it. 

“A walking corpse.” Jensen finished the sentence he knew Jake was trying to speak into existence. Although he didn’t care to beat around the bush. “So trust me when I tell you that wishful thinking does shit when your body decides it’s had enough.” 

“Does Y/n know?” Jake's first worry was how this news, how this detrimental turn of events, would affect you. His heart forgot how to beat inside his chest when he watched Jensen shake his head in response. 

“She needs to focus on her own journey, and before I go I need to make sure she has a support system because for a while there I was all she seemed to have.” Jensen explained. There it was, the truth of the matter. 

Jake saw it clear as day, the care, the worry, the intention to make sure you had someone there for you because Jensen wasn’t going to be there anymore. You may not have slept with the guy standing before Jake but if Jake knew anything, it was the look of a man who was unequivocally in love with you. He saw his own reflection of Jensen's eyes. 

“Go back, apologies, and you fix your marriage man because that woman? That electrifying woman who sees the good in everything doesn’t deserve to go through this alone—and you turning your back on her the second someone made things a little difficult for you isn’t a good representation of the husband she deserves.” 

“You love her, don’t you?” Jake asked as he took a second to truly take in Jensens whole argument. The world seemed to go on around them, with doctors and nurses carrying out their daily duties and rounds. Family members walking to and from rooms visiting loved ones. But for Jake and Jensen? The world stopped when it came to you. “You’re in love with my wife, say it.” Jake couldn’t hide the pain in his voice. “Tell me you love her, then this all makes sense.” 

“Maybe—“ Jensen tried to play his love for you down into something that was just a social construct. “Maybe I love her, but I don’t get a chance to explore that, you do though.” Jensen was truly trying to hide the pain in his eyes, but Jake could see it all too easily. Jensen knew that. “So if not for yourself, for her, pull your head out of your ass man—“

“I never stopped loving her though.” Jake sighed out in frustration as he sat down on one of the plastic hospital chairs that lined the hallway. Jensen followed soon after, both men decided that the heat of the argument was settling into something more valuable. “I just—I lost sight of what I had.” 

“That’s just not a good enough excuse.” Jensen replied as he let his head fall back against the wall. “Listen, I don’t plan on coming back after I leave today.” 

Jake didn’t respond, he simply waited for Jensen to explain. But the explanation never came and Jake never pressed. If anything he was kind of relieved in a selfish way. 

“If you truly want to fix what’s broken, if you really want to fight for her and be by her side when she needs you the most, you’ll get up and you’ll go back in there and you’ll be the guy who gets to hold her like no one else does.” Jensen pauses momentarily before he continued on. “Because there’s better guys out there Jake, and she shouldn’t have to settle for one who doesn’t appreciate what’s right under his damn nose.” 

“Is this your way of telling me you’re a better man than me?” Jake asked cautiously, a part of him didn’t want the answer to be yes. But Jake needed to know what the man sitting beside him truly thought. You saw something good inside him, inside both of them.

“I’m not a better man than you Jake—“ Jensen sighed as he stood from his chair. It was getting late, he had said his peace, he had put the fear for a dying man inside Jake Seresin. There wasn’t much more Jensen could contribute to your life besides what he had already given. 

The body tends to adapt quickly to new circumstances and pressures it’s put under. It knows how to protect itself. But it can’t close off completely, or well—we’re not really living are we? Biology tends to override our fears, so we leave the door open, just a little…hoping like hell that it's worth the risk. But for Jensen….He was ready to close the door and lock it shut. 

“I’m just a man who’s run out of time and has nothing left to lose.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21 @tayl0rhuynh @mamachasesmayhem @marvelogic @itsmytimetoodream @maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional @jessicab1991 @hardballoonlove @senawashere @fanficfandomlove @withahappyrefrain @dizzybee03 @maisie-rebloging-blog

@goldenseresinretriever @a-reader-and-a-writer @sunlightmurdock @shelbycillian @memoriesat30 @accioprocrastination @the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @athenabarnes @eternallyvenus @emma8895eb @kmc1989

[roosterforme]

The Curveball Part 10 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Molly hates the feeling of each day slipping away, knowing Bob will be leaving soon. But there are cowboy hats to be worn and grandparents to talk to. And when Bob sails off into the Pacific, leaving Molly truly alone, she understands how much of her heart he's taking with him. 

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swears, pregnancy, smut, 18+

Length: 4000 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story accompanies Batting Practice!)

Check my masterlist for more! The Curveball masterlist

Thank you to @mak-32 and @teacupsandtopgun for the beautiful banners!

"I had all these things planned that I wanted to do," Molly complained. "What am I supposed to do with this cowboy hat while you're deployed, huh? You expect me to just use my fingers or a vibrator for weeks on end? This is bullshit, and you know it, Lieutenant Floyd."

Bob watched Molly pace around the bedroom wearing a sports bra, a pair of his gym shorts, and the mahogany brown cowboy hat she just took out of the Amazon box that was delivered today. Her bump was so adorable, he just wanted to touch it all the time. But right now he was watching her absentmindedly running her hands along her belly as she walked back and forth in front of where he sat on the edge of the bed. 

"Why did you buy a cowboy hat in the first place, Mo?" he asked, honestly hoping he'd come home to find his girlfriend asking him for uniform time. Now that she was in her second trimester, she was practically begging for him around the clock. If he was able to get hard, then she was ready to go. 

She let out a cute little whine as her fingers grazed her tattoo. "Because you grew up on a ranch, Bobby. In Wyoming. You're a cowboy. My boyfriend is a bona fide cowboy."

"Weapons systems officer, actually," he replied as she came to stand between his spread legs. Bob placed his big hands on her little bump and kissed along her tattoo. 

She stomped her bare foot on the floor. "I want a cowboy."

Bob looked up at her pretty, pouting face as he ran his thumb along the bottom of her sports bra. "You really want a cowboy?"

"Yes." Her hands were on her hips now, and he knew he was about to give her what she asked for. He stood to his full height, brushing against her as she looked up at him with needy eyes. Then he gingerly removed the hat from her head.

"Get in bed, Honey."

With a little giggle, she jumped up and down and then crawled into bed. Bob shook his head and went to dig around in the walk-in closet for his oldest pair of jeans. He paused his search for a moment to reach behind his duffle bag and feel for the little box that was holding the ring he picked out. It was perfect, and he let himself hold it in his palm for a few seconds before tucking it away again. 

"Bobby?" Molly called, and he rolled his eyes with a laugh. She couldn't even wait two minutes for him. 

"I'll be there in a second."

He quickly stripped out of his uniform and underwear and gently pulled his jeans on. Very carefully he zipped them up and then put the cowboy hat on his head. He knew he must look ridiculous like this. He was probably the furthest thing from a rugged cowboy that ever existed. Now, if Molly wanted to fuck a nerd in his thirties who liked to play Dungeons & Dragons and was really good at math, he could probably dial that up to an eleven. 

But as soon as he walked back into the bedroom, her eyes went wide, and her lips parted. "Fuck," she whined, and Bob watched her dip her hand inside the waistband of the gym shorts. Her back arched off the bed as she moaned his name over and over, and she kept her eyes glued on him while she touched herself. Maybe he didn't look so bad after all?

He grinned and tipped the hat for her. "Well, howdy little lady."

"Jesus Christ," she gasped. Bob watched her yank down the gym shorts and kick them onto the floor as she said, "Call me little lady again, and I'll probably cum everywhere."

Bob's eyebrows quirked up as she pulled him into bed with her. He pushed her gently back until she was propped up on her elbows. What a sight. Pregnant Molly, running her smooth leg up around his waist and pulling him closer until her pussy was pressed against the denim. 

"Your cock looks huge through your jeans," she said, biting her lip. "Now call me little lady again," she demanded. Bob could practically hear the earlier stomp of her foot on the floor as he remained silent. 

Instead, he reached for her sports bra and gently pulled it up above her breasts. Those little silver barbells and her perfect tits greeted him. They were already bigger now, and as soon as Bob tipped the hat back on his head and tasted her, she was keening.

Unintelligible noises escaped her lips as she leaned back against the pillows and braced her hands on his shoulders. Bob pulled those little barbells between his lips one at a time, tugging gently, but her breasts were so sensitive now, he felt her nails digging into his skin. He sucked gently and then a little harder on her left nipple until he felt her squeezing her thighs together beneath him. 

"Oh, oh fuck," she gasped, back arching slowly as she started panting. When Bob ran his rough thumb back and forth across her right nipple, gently pulling on her piercing, she bucked against him. And then she started shaking, so he replaced his mouth with his fingers, giving her a good pinch as she came for him. 

With a satisfied smirk, he pressed his lips to her ear and whispered, "I barely even touched you, little lady."

"Bobby!" she shrieked, rubbing herself against him as her orgasm peaked. Next thing he knew, he was the one on his back. Molly's bra was on the pillow next to his head, and his jeans were yanked down to his thighs. And she was the one wearing the hat.

"You look adorable," he said as she adjusted the hat which was way too big for her head. And then she sank down around him, and rode him hard. The teeth of his zipper dug into his leg every time she ground down. The bite of pain mixed with the pleasure that was purely Molly, and Bob was completely lost in the moment. "Sexy cowgirl."

She bent a little closer until her bump was rubbing against his flat abs every time she rolled her hips. "I love riding you cowgirl. I love riding every which way. And I love these jeans. And I love your big cock. And I love our baby. And I love you."

Bob came almost immediately, knocking the cowboy hat off her head and pulling her down to kiss him. "I love you," he murmured, barely releasing her lips as he bucked up into her. "So much." He ran his hands along her belly and her tattoos and her barbells, and then he thought maybe he was being a little too rough. But when he released her, she took his hands in hers and kissed him until she had her fill. 

"Will you make me dinner in your snug jeans, Cowboy Bob?"

She didn't actually need to ask him that. She must already know he would.

-----------------------------

Molly was now counting down the meager time left until Bob's deployment started. "Only one hundred and sixteen hours left," she said as she ate a chocolate chip pancake. It was Sunday. He was leaving on Friday morning. "I hate it here."

"I'll be back home before you know it. This is actually a short one. More of a special mission."

"This is a short one?" she asked, looking scandalized. "They can't just... like keep you away from us whenever they feel like it." She gestured to her belly as she licked chocolate from her fork. 

"Actually," he said with a sigh, "they sure can."

She started pouting, instantly angry that their son or daughter was going to have to deal with this level of bullshit. She would teach the child to pout just like her, and then Bob would have both of them to contend with. It usually worked for her. 

"Mo... I need to go out for a few hours," he said softly, drawing her attention back to him. 

"Are you going to Costco? I started a list, and it's my turn to pay for household necessities. But I wanted to watch a new murder documentary later today."

But he was shaking his head. "I need to go to San Bernardino. I need to tell my parents that you're pregnant."

Molly was silent. She hadn't really even considered this. She didn't have parents to tell anything to. If it wasn't something her sister or Bob should know about, then she generally kept it to herself. And now she felt like she was going to vomit, something she hadn't done in weeks. 

"Do you really have to tell them?" she asked, setting her fork down. 

Bob eyed her skeptically. "I think they should probably be informed that they have another grandchild on the way, Honey."

Tears stung her eyes. "But your mom really liked me," she whispered, rubbing her fingertips along her lips, trying to stay calm. "She was so warm and motherly, and now she's going to know I corrupted her sweet, only son. She'll think I'm a filthy harlot! Only after your mountains of money! You can't tell her I'm pregnant!"

Bob chuckled. "Do we have mountains of money that I'm not aware of?"

"I'm being serious right now, Cowboy Bob!"

"So am I," he said, kissing her lips softly as a tear slid down her cheek. "They aren't going to think anything bad about you. I promise. Rebecca wasn't married to Todd yet when she had Piper."

Molly sniffed and wiped at her nose. "Really? They seem to like him?"

"They do," he said, and he sounded reassuring to Molly's ears.

She took a deep breath. "I'll come with you. To see your parents."

"You don't have to, Mo."

But she reached out and straightened his glasses on his nose. If Rebecca got married later, after she had Piper, then maybe there was hope. And now Molly was thinking about that wildflower wedding. She could practically smell the flowers as she whispered, "I'm going with you."

The ride seemed to take forever, and Bob's truck was mostly quiet. Molly had changed into a snug dress that definitely didn't leave her belly up for debate. They would know she was pregnant as soon as they looked at her. That way there would be less for Bob to have to nervously string together. Molly would take the brunt of the dirty looks, and he could just hold her hand quietly.

"You ready?" he asked in a soft yet strong voice as he parked his truck. 

"Yes," she replied. She had no idea this is where she would end up today when she woke up this morning, and she'd rather be almost anywhere else. But she was ready to get this over with. 

"Well this is a surprise!" Bob's mom called as she came out onto the porch when she heard the truck door close. She looked delighted. Absolutely delighted to see them. But as Bob wrapped his arm around Molly's waist and started to lead her up to the porch, his mom's eyes dropped down to her midsection, and she gasped. 

"Oh no," Molly whispered, swallowing hard against the onslaught of fresh tears. 

"Mom," Bob said in a warning tone as Molly tripped along next to him. 

"You're pregnant." Her voice was like a gunshot to Molly's ears.

"Yes," Bob replied. Molly had promised herself she would be the strong one here, but now she was collapsing in on herself like a house of cards. 

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Floyd," she whispered, hand shaking at her side. "It was an accident." But she watched as Bob's mom pulled her son in for a hug as she cried. 

"A baby!" she practically shrieked in excitement. "Just wait until I tell your dad! He's going to be overjoyed. Roger!" she screamed into the house as Bob collected Molly against him once more.

"You okay?" he asked, and she nodded against his chest as Bob's dad bounded out onto the porch. 

"I was trying to start the grill. What's wrong?"

"Bob and Molly are having a baby!" she screamed at her husband who was only five feet away. 

"Another grandchild?" he asked, and Molly was soon sandwiched in a hug between both of Bob's parents as his mom asked a list of questions. 

"When are you due? Do you need anything? Should we buy a crib for our house? I wonder if Beck still has Piper's pack n play. Are you hungry? Is Bob cleaning so you don't have to? The chemical smell of cleaning supplies might make you nauseous. Bob, are you cleaning everything?"

And then Molly burst into happy tears as she went inside to eat some grilled chicken and corn on the cob. 

----------------------------

When Bob got home from work the day before he was to leave for his deployment, Molly was already there in her scrubs. She presented him with several pairs of gray sweatpants on their bed. "What are these for?" he asked, watching the way she bit her lip in anticipation. 

"Try them on," she said, reaching for the first pair. "Without underwear."

He knew better than to argue with her, so he got undressed and pulled on the sweatpants. 

"Yes," she said, nodding and stroking her chin with her fingertips. "Absolutely."

Bob looked down his body to where her gaze was transfixed on his crotch. "What are these for?"

"My personal enjoyment. And the enjoyment of others. I can see your dick through the fabric."

"Molly," Bob groaned, reaching for the waistband, but she stopped him with both hands. 

"Please? Just wear them while we go pick up dinner! And you can take them on deployment with you."

He shook his head at her earnest expression. "Why would I take pants away with me when you can see my.... you know."

"Why not?" she asked, kissing his cheek. 

He knew he was blushing as he softly said, "You know there will be other women on the aircraft carrier, right?"

"Yep," she replied, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I'm sure they'll love the sweatpants, too. If you got it, flaunt it, Coach Bob."

He just gaped at her. "You wouldn't feel nervous about what might get said to me?"

Molly kissed along his bare chest, and Bob closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her bump resting against him. "Like something another woman might say? No. I trust you."

Bob let his hands rest on her lower back. "I'm going to miss you so much, Mo."

She nodded against him and whispered, "When those other women try to chat you up, you just tell them that your girlfriend is a goddamn delight. And that she was the one who bought the sweatpants to try to bring more happiness to the world."

"I will," he said with a smile, unconvinced that anyone else would look at or talk to him at all for the full duration of his deployment. But he appreciated the way Molly seemed to trust him. And he also appreciated the way her hand was gliding down the front of his new pants. 

"Let's go pick up dinner," she whispered. And then she groaned. "The fact that I can't even eat real sushi right now is absolutely ridiculous." 

"The cooked stuff is okay though," he said as she led him out of the bedroom. 

"Stop lying to try to make me feel better."

Once they were at the sushi restaurant, waiting for their pickup order, Molly was getting a little handsy again. "Mo," he warned, his voice deep and a little raspy, but that just seemed to spur her on more. She ran her hands down the front of his tee shirt and let them skim along the elastic waistband of his pants. 

"Bobby," she crooned softly. He thanked the hostess three times when she handed him their food, causing enough of a distraction to get Molly to pull her hands away from him.

But out in the parking lot, it was a different story. And at least it was dark now as Bob set the food on the passenger side floor before he held out his hand to help Molly climb in. But she just ran her hands all over his abs as she said, "You know what I was thinking? Since you're going to miss the anatomy scan ultrasound?"

"Hmm?" he hummed, barely able to pay attention to anything as Molly's hand dipped inside the front of his pants and stroked his hardening length. 

"How about I take a video of it? And then you can watch it later? Or if we get to have a facetime call, I could try to play the video for you? You'd like that?"

Bob just throbbed in her hand as she slowly jerked him off in the middle of the parking lot next to the In-N-Out like it was nothing. Her earnest gaze let him know she had asked him a question. 

"Huh?" he grunted, reaching for her pretty face with both hands.

"Would you like that, Bobby?" she asked, smiling as he leaned down to kiss her lips. 

"Mo, I have no idea what you're talking about, Honey." It was the truth. Something about the baby? An ultrasound? He wasn't sure, and he couldn't think straight with her hand on him like this. And he was absolutely startled to find how much he liked the idea and the feel of her doing this in a semi public place. 

Molly let her fingernails scratch gently down along his balls before she withdrew her hand and said, "Get in the truck." A second later, Bob was standing there outside the closed passenger side door, trying to hustle around the cab with a huge erection. When he climbed in the driver's seat, Molly had her hand on him again. 

"What are you doing?" he asked, starting the truck and pulling out of the parking lot. 

"Road head," she muttered casually. Then Molly leaned across the seat and took Bob between her lips. He had never done anything like this before. He'd never even been with a woman who liked to give head as much as Molly before. Not only that, she loved teasing him. Her breath ghosted along his skin before she took him deeper, and Bob was afraid he might drive off the road. 

"Molly," he begged, gripping the steering wheel with both hands. "Please."

She popped him out of her mouth and said, "Of course, Coach Cute Glasses. Anything you want."

But instead of stopping, she sucked and bobbed and licked him, working him up into such a frenzy that he nearly wrecked into her parked car when he got back to the condo. Mrs. Evans was out walking her poodle, and Mr. Walters was taking a brisk jog, but that didn't stop Molly. She stripped out of her scrub pants and crawled across the seat. Then she rode Bob while he held her hips and belly. 

Bob didn't care if the neighbors saw him. In less than twelve hours, he was going to have to be without the love of his life for weeks on end. So he didn't stop her from coming apart in his lap and making a mess all over his new pants. 

"I love you, Daddy," she panted, running her hands through his already messy hair and tugging on him as he came. His hands were covering her belly, and Bob felt the sting of tears in his eyes knowing how much he was going to be leaving at home.

------------------------------

Molly couldn't do it alone. She already called for backup. The morning that Bob left on the aircraft carrier, her sister was waiting a short distance away on the dock. Molly watched as she and Bob exchanged a hug, after which her sister pressed a quick kiss to Bob's cheeks like a civilized person. 

But not Molly. No, she was sobbing uncontrollably and clinging to her boyfriend like he was her lifeline. As if he was her only reason for living. "I love you," he whispered against her lips, his metal glasses cold against her cheek. "Both of you."

"I don't want you to leave," she sobbed, holding him so tight, her belly was smashed and uncomfortable. "Just stay."

Bob wiped her tears away and she looked at him in his khaki uniform, all ready to get to work on a mission she didn't even want to know about, because she was so scared. 

"I can't, Mo," he whispered, kissing her forehead in the early morning sunlight. He looked so handsome with his tidy hair and his serious expression. 

But she knew she looked like a messy little wreck, face streaked with new tears as she said, "I thought I would hold up better than this. I thought I would be okay." She didn't want to go back to the empty condo and have to figure out how to cook for herself. She didn't want to watch murder documentaries and eat gummy bears alone now that she knew what it felt like to have Bob with her. 

"You will be," he reassured her. "You'll be better than okay." And then he sank to his knees in front of her, and Molly had to brace her hands on his shoulders. He kissed her belly though his white undershirt and looked up at her. "When you find out if we're having a son or a daughter, email me right away, okay? I can't wait to know."

"I will," she promised him, closing her eyes to memorize how lovely his hands felt on her body like this. Memorize how much he loved their baby. 

And then he stood and kissed her so well and for so long, his fingertips holding her still, digging into her neck until he got his fill. So she decided to memorize how loved she felt, too. And then with a few more whispered words, Bob was walking away from her as she shook with tears. 

When an arm wrapped around her shoulders, Molly jumped, surprised to find her sister there even though she'd begged her to skip the first hour or so of work. "I can't do this," she hiccupped, accepting the warm mom hug. "I'm already too lonely."

"You're not alone," she replied, kissing Molly's hair. "If it gets too hard, you can come stay with us."

Molly scoffed and wiped her eyes on her sister's work blazer. "I'm not staying with newlyweds. That's just rude. And also kind of disgusting. Like what if I accidentally heard Bradley blowing your back out or something?"

She rolled her eyes, and Molly turned to watch Bob waving from the carrier deck. She waved back and said, "Look how perfect he is."

"He's pretty great," her sister replied, linking their fingers together. "And he loves you."

Molly stood there as the sun grew hot against her back. The carrier left the San Diego harbor as she held her head high. Bob loved her, and she was the one he'd be thinking about while he looked sexy in his gray sweatpants and when he flew his mission. Well, her and the baby of course. 

Her phone pinged with a text message as she was turning to go back to her car. 

I miss you already, Mo.

-------------------------

What are we thinking about baby Floyd? Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls and everyone who bugged me to make Molly and Bob a thing!

PART 11

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@wolfquake23

@ohgodnotagainn

@toobouquet

@paintlavillered

@seitmai

@tigermoon3

@noonenuts

@amiets2

[animatedrapture]

"Yer a whole fuckin' asshole and a half, yeah? What the fuck did ya do?"

Suna's voice is groggy. His throat is dry, maybe it's from the night he had, maybe even his body is tired of it all. "Too fucking early for this, Miya. What're you talkin' about?"

"Kana? You kissed Kana when YN was waiting on ya." Even through the phone, Suna can hear it: the seethe in Atsumu's voice, one he knows all too well when something so personal ticks him off. He's hissing out the words, like Kana's name, like it's venomous even to say it.

"I didn't. The fuck are you talking about, you dumbass? Quit running your mouth ‘bout shit you don't know, yeah?"

"Oh yeah? What's that picture all over Twitter then? And then to drop YN after that without explanation. Bro, that's fucking low—"

"Jesus christ—listen, stay out of—"

"Nah, you listen Sunarin. We thought you'd be good to YN, that's why we let ya be. But yer dumber than I ever been for doin' that to YN. Jus' cause Kana's your bestfriend doesn't mean she decides everythin' for ya. Grow a fuckin' pair."

Then there's loud beeping that nearly deafens Suna—it really is too fucking early for this—for anything, in fact.

Suna feels his stomach flipping, over and over, churning in the worst way possible. He swipes open his notifications and the first thing that greets him in bold, capital letters are headlines.

But his phone chimes again, and again, and again, the sound feels like dread filling him up with each one.

He sits up on the couch. His body hurts and he isn't sure if it's because he stayed there, refusing to be in the same room as Kana—sleeping in his room as if everything would be okay between them somehow—or if it's all mental.

Headlines officially confirming his "committed relationship" with Kana.

And a stolen picture of his lips on her—well, truly, her lips on his. Posted last night, at eleven while he was busy trying to make it up to the bestfriend he'd almost let something bad happen to.

Posted last night, when you were alone and finally decided you'd never mean to him as much Kana does.

Only, that's where you were wrong. But you didn't know that.

It's no wonder you've given up, looking back at everything that's happened in such a short amount of time. Where things stand, even after all that's said and done, Suna has never felt more lost.

To make things more suffocating for him, Kana's still in the apartment with him. 

But right there, he realizes something has to finally change.

Except Suna is met with the fact that you're gone—truly gone from him this time. He dials your number, searches you up, and in a final attempt, tries to message you.

You have him blocked. Everywhere.

Suna understands you should hate him by now, even more when he's bothering you after letting you go the way you wanted him, maybe now—even more as he picks up Kana's phone on the living room table because he just has to call you. Even if it meant using the phone of the exact reason you and him were an impossible thing now.

In another universe, Suna would call you, even if it meant it would be through Kana's phone, even if you'd hate his guts for it.

Even if he shouldn't.

Suna doesn't, though. In fact, Suna can't. Because as Kana's phone clicks unlocked—it's your name and a string of messages from Kana.

In his living room, broken from losing you, Suna couldn't even hear the sharp intake of breath he takes.

Something had to change—but he didn't think it would be so dire.

『 twenty-ninth / one: we were something 』

prev. | as friends | next: C29-2

notes:

— suna was TIRED as hecc so it ended up being that atsumu was calling him NONSTOP til he woke up :3

— i just realized this thing i've had ever since i stopped the smau was actually supposed to go first :3 MY BAD this is what happened literally just moments before the next chapter GOMENASAI OKAY

— hehehehe... my bad...

[cupcakeslushie]

Were there any experiments that could have risked Three's life?

There were, but Draxum knew what he was doing for the most part. Most of the testing started out monotonous and endurance based. It was only as Three grew older, and Draxum grew more desperate to gain headway on his research that he pushed the experiments past what Three could handle physically and mentally.

The vivisection was the worst, because of the pain, and because Three didn’t follow Draxum’s aftercare instructions and a whole plastral scute had to be replaced when infection set in. It’s probably the most rebellious thing Three had ever done but the consequences were bad enough that he learned his lesson.

Draxum is a lot worse than in canon so there’s not a lot of happy memories…but I think I’m gonna slightly edit something I’ve said earlier, which is that Draxum doesn’t validate Three’s intelligence at all. The more I think on it, the more I think that would be about the only thing he finds Three useful for, after he finds him lacking in the “warrior” aspect. For as much of a disappointment in the physical department Three can be (which doesn’t mean Donnie is weak—just that Draxxy is hard to please), Draxum will admit that the boy is a genius. It’s just the way that Three’s smart which Draxum can’t stand. Three uses too much scavenged, human material in his tech, and while Draxum grudgingly allows it, he refuses to give it any praise. It frustrates him to no end that Three seems to reject studying mystic sciences.

It still doesn’t stop Three from seeking out Draxum’s input, and constantly being disappointed when his tech gets verbally (and sometimes literally) ripped to shreds. Pretty much the only area where Three gets any actual, validation from Draxum, are the bombs and munitions Three makes to supply Draxum’s resistance budies. Everything else is just him not living up to his full potential and wasting his time.

This is just gonna be the nature of this AU, but I’m really leaning hard into the villain aspect of these three. I’m hoping to still give them nuance, But I’m going all in, where each of them is pretty deplorable in their unique own way.

Big Mama was very doting on Mikey, but I think it was more along the lines of her viewing it as being amused by a new pet. I mean she full on dated and had a relationship with Splinter for who knows how long, and had no problem throwing him to the wolves, and I loved that about her. In my AU she’s whatever she needs to be to get what she wants, dialed up to eleven. She has zero problems putting on that mother of year mask for Mikey, because he was cute and entertaining, but the moment she realized she could make a pretty penny off of him by discarding him, she does. So what if she keeps the paintings Mikey made her, up in her private office, nobody has to know.

Draxum is relentless in his mission, and Three is the best tool he currently has to see those ends met. He doesn’t care how much strain it seems to put on the boy—he should be able to handle it. Draxum does not make creations that break so easily.

Shredder does show pride in Leo’s prowess as a fighter, and even though his praise is hard to earn, he does let his student know when he’s done a good job. On the flip side, he’s got no problems punishing Leo for his failures. Shredder is very clear in his expectations for Leo, unlike Draxum who never seems to be pleased by anything. In Shredder’s mind, Leo is his perfect weapon.

Draxum had seen Mikey fight in the battle nexus so he knew about him and just didn’t have the means to take on Big Mama, but when he finally meets Raph and Leo, he’s so frustrated that they’ve aligned with humans and refuse to listen to reason. Despite trying to get them on his side they want nothing to do with him, and what’s worse they’ve poisoned Three against him. He’s already poured so much time and resources into Three and look how that turned out. If they won’t join him, he’ll either find some way to turn them against the humans or he’ll destroy them. They’ve caused him enough of a headache.

I’m still on the fence about Shredder’s entire backstory. I know he’ll have been raised by the Hamato Clan but I’ve never been a fan of the whole love triangle—you stole the woman I loved and I’m gonna refer to her as an object—thing. I think him turning to more violent methods and then learning his true origins is enough of a wedge to drive between him and the man he thought of as a brother. Which leads me to Karai.

I’m not using 2012 Karai cause it would be kinda redundant with Leo’s role. So I think I’m gonna use gram-gram Karai…I just need to figure out…how. I’ve got some ideas, it’s just working out the details of, okay I changed Shredder so he can’t be her father, do I want her to still be dead? Be a guiding spirit for Leo? Do I want her to be brought back to life? Or maybe it would be cool to expand on her connection with April—cause the show gave us this awesome idea maybe I could explore that more? Idk. I just know I do want her to have a bigger role. I’ve got some time tho to think on it.

As for Bradford and Xever they might make a short appearance down the road, but as of now I’ve got solid plans for certain characters and I don’t wanna throw too many shrimp in the pot, ya know? If I can think of some role for them to fill, then they’ll get some actual time but for now they’re relegated to Easter egg status like Bebop and Rocksteady lol.

@burnttoastarista

[bebeyeyo]

all or nothing | ny x f!reader

genre: fluff

pairing: nayeon x f!reader

setting: college au

content warnings: implied f-girl!nayeon and shy reader (kinda), mention of fear of heights

song: all or nothing by nayeon

note: this was all off the top of my head and not proofread at all soo, i hope you enjoy <3

“please? she really likes you, and she won’t stop bugging me about trying to convince you.” sana whines as you both sit in the living room of your apartment you both live in.

you sigh, “why does she even want to go out with me so badly? doesn’t she have multiple girls in her phone she can do that with?”

sana pauses before speaking up, “well, okay you have a point, but at least try and give her a chance? please? nayeon won’t stop bugging me until you say yes.”

the infamous im nayeon in your college year is very well known. she’s been known to sleep with every girl on campus…well, as far as you know there’s at least more than ten girls.

you’ve tried to steer clear of the girl ever since starting your first year. almost every girl has tried to get her attention, but it seems like you’ve got her attention without even trying.

you’ve never even spoken to the girl besides meeting her one time because she’s friends with sana.

“why can’t she just ask me out herself?” you scoff as you write down some math notes.

“because she’s too scared knowing her reputation.” jihyo cuts in who sits on the couch beside sana while you sit on the floor.

“save yourself the heartbreak, sweets. or else she’d have a broken nose the next time i come in contact with her.” jihyo grunts.

sana chuckles as she puts her pencil down, “i mean, jihyo has a point. and as much as i shouldn’t be encouraging you y/n, what have you got to lose, ya know?”

“hm, let’s see; my dignity, my confidence, my-”

“okay okay…just think about it, alright? i’ll even pay you back if things don’t go well. i’ll do anything. nayeon has even asked for your number but i didn’t give it to her out of respect for you.” sana admits as she lets out a sigh.

“it’s your choice, hun. just trust your instincts.” jihyo smiles softly before turning her head back to her laptop.

you let yourself be in your thoughts for a little bit before looking back up to sana.

“give me her phone number.” you ask.

sana gasps as she instantly opens her phone telling you nayeon’s number.

“i’ll be right back.”

you leave the living room for a few minutes and press the button to dial nayeon’s number all the while you heard the squeals of sana from the background.

two rings and the line was open, “hello?”

“um, hi, this is y/n. i’m assuming you know me through sana?”

“o-oh, hi y/n! yes, i do know you. did you need anything?” as confident and flirty nayeon usually was, she was nervous. you could hear it in her voice.

“it’s just that..sana told me that you wanted to ask me out..?”

you heard stuttering on the other side, making you smile a little.

“i-um, well, what sana said isn’t exactly wrong…but, yes i’ve been wanting to take you out for a while.” nayeon admits.

“well..someone told me to trust my instincts and i’m choosing to trust you, so yes, i’ll go on a date with you.”

if you were looking at nayeon face to face, you’d see how big her smile was.

“t-thank you, y/n. i was thinking of having a picnic at the beach? and maybe we could possibly walk around the boardwalk since the fair will be in town.” the thought of a day like that brought a small smile onto your face.

“i’d like that. what time should i be ready?” you ask.

“be ready around eleven. does that sound good?”

“yeah, it does. i’ll be ready by then.”

“o-okay! good, i’ll see you tomorrow, y/n.” nayeon says.

“i’ll see you then, nayeon.” you hang up.

you smile a little before walking back into the living room where jihyo and sana look back up with wondering minds.

“so?” jihyo wonders.

“looks like i’m going on a date tomorrow.”

~~

you finished brushing your hair while adjusting the cropped t shirt you were wearing along with a long skirt since it was going to be on the warmer side today.

after spraying your perfume on, you make your way out of your room and into the living room where you make sure you have your purse along with your necessities in it.

“ooh la la,” sana teases as she walks out from the kitchen.

you giggle as you put your sneakers on.

“wow hun, you look so cute!” jihyo smiles.

“thank you, jihyo.”

you look at the time in your phone, seeing it’s exactly eleven.

“are you nervous?” sana asks.

you nod, “yeah, i’m nervous how this will go.”

“we’ll just so you know, i’m a phone call away and i can drive.” jihyo warns with a stern voice.

“ah, she’ll be okay, jihyo. i trust that this will go well!” sana beams with a smile.

you were about to say something until a knock on the door was heard.

you make your way over to the door, opening it where you’re met with a nayeon who’s got a bouquet of flowers for you. she had on a white shirt with shorts on, with a small but nervous smile on her face.

she looked adorable with her two braids.

“hi nayeon.” you greet.

“hi y/n. i got these for you.” she says handing you the flowers which you take, a blush evident on your face.

“thank you.”

nayeon gave you a smile, “you look very pretty.”

“thank you, you do as well.” you reciprocate.

nayeon looked behind you to see a smiling sana but a straight faced jihyo.

she wasn’t going to lie if she said jihyo scared the absolute shit out of her. and she’s older than the girl.

“i’ll have her back by nine tonight.” nayeon says as if she was taking you away from your parents for the night.

but that technically wouldn’t be incorrect since sana and jihyo have taken you under their wing since starting college.

“okay, nayeon. have fun y/n! send us pictures!” sana cheers as she gives you a hug.

all jihyo did was glare at nayeon as she hugged you, before whispering in your ear, “have fun. be careful.”

you chuckle at jihyo’s motherly ways.

sana hands you your phone and purse before you walk with nayeon to her car.

as you approach the passenger door, nayeon instantly rushes forward, opening the door for you.

you giggle, “are you always like this with other girls?”

nayeon playfully rolled her eyes, “you’re an exception.” she says.

she closes the door as you get in. she walks around the car, nervous with her hands shaking because she really didn’t want to mess things up.

this is the first time nayeon’s confidence has been thrown out the window, replaced with shyness.

once she makes it into the driver’s seat, she puts her seatbelt on and looks at you, “ready?”

you nod, “yeah, i’m ready.” you smile.

and the on the road you both went.

~~

“i still don’t really understand it.” you say as you sit down beside nayeon on the towels you’ve got laid out onto the beach sand.

“understand what?” she asks.

“why did you ask me out? sana has told me how you’ve been wanting to ask me out for a while…but you’ve got a lot of other girls..” you trail off.

nayeon was silent for a few seconds as she watched you open a bottle of water, taking a few sips from it.

as she watches you, she knew you had a point. in her opinion, you weren’t like others. you were much different.

all this time in university nayeon has only been with more extroverted, party people who don’t really take college serious. and although nayeon is an introvert, she’s very much down for a party.

but sometimes, it got boring and the repetition to keep her reputation alive exhausted her.

sometimes she just wanted to disappear and give up the act. and she can, she just didn’t know how to. attention is always on nayeon and she knows the rumors that spread.

nayeon was starting to see how popularity was just so…tiring.

and truthfully, she knew she was a bad person for having this fuck girl reputation.

but when she had met you the day sana and her had a study session, she couldn’t stop thinking about you since.

“because you’re you.” she answers truthfully.

you look at her confused, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

nayeon could hear the possibly offended tone in your voice, “i just mean that i like who you are as a person, despite not knowing you that well. sana’s told me a lot about you. i’ve asked a lot of questions about you.”

“you have?”

she nods, “yeah. i like how you’re passionate about what you’re studying, and how you can just enjoy your time just being by yourself, or being with few people. i like your quietness, and you just bring a very calming energy, y/n.”

you smile a bit and shrug popping a grape in your mouth, “it’s just how i’ve always been.”

nayeon chuckles eating some of her sandwich.

she watches the sun shine on your skin, feeling her heart pound.

“so…how long have you known sana and jihyo?” she asks.

“i’ve met them both last year. we were all assigned in the same dorm room, then this year we all decided to live in the same apartment. they both treat me like i’m their actual child.” you joke.

nayeon giggles, “i can tell. especially jihyo, she was glaring at me the moment she even saw me.”

you shrug, “she’s just very protective.”

“she scares me sometimes. even though i’m older than her.” she chuckles.

you smile hearing this.

you bring your knees up to your chest, looking at nayeon from an angel you can only describe looking at an angel.

“you’re not as bad as i thought.” you joke. nayeon playfully pushes your shoulder.

as the afternoon was starting to become sunset, you both packed the picnic up, and decided to head over to the fair grounds.

you instantly became a little kid again seeing all the game booths, the rides, and the ferris wheel that was far ahead.

“can we play some games? i want to win some plushies!” you ask nayeon tugging at her arm.

she giggles, “sure, sweetheart, but on one condition,” she starts, “you let me pay for everything.”

your smile slowly fades, “but nayeon, fair stuff is expensive you know?”

she only shakes her head, “i offered to take you out, and i want to spoil you.”

feeling a blush creep up on your cheeks, you couldn’t speak or else you’d certainly have a quiet cranky voice, so you just nod and begin walking around with a smirking nayeon.

the first game you went to was a water gun game, where you try to knock the little duckies down. in victory, you get to pick out any plushie you want.

you didn’t win, making you sulk with a playfully pout.

nayeon giggles as she picks out a stuffed dolphin, and handing it to you with a big smile.

“i was going to win this for you, anyways.” she states.

you squeal taking it into your arms, hugging it tightly.

that’s when you see a flash through your closed eyelids instantly opening your eyes seeing a giddy nayeon with her phone up facing you.

“this’ll be a good picture to send to sana.” she giggles.

you whine, “yah! don’t send those pictures to her!” you say as you try and reach for her phone.

she only runs away from you, giggles leaving both of you.

later on in the evening, both of you had gotten fair food as well, like cotton candy, popcorn, some ice cream.

you both know your stomachs won’t be in the best shape the next morning. thankfully, it was the weekend meaning no classes.

you were having the time of life with nayeon. finding yourself smiling at everything she did. you even took pictures on guard and off guard of her, your heart pounding with happiness as you look at them.

nayeon felt the same. having so many photos of you in her camera roll that she didn’t care if she ran out of the storage.

you begin thinking how happy you were that you had called nayeon yesterday night.

and when you both went onto the ferris wheel, both of you were so close. your head on her shoulder as she had her arm around you, taking pictures of the low fair and city lights.

and nayeon was holding your hand tightly. definitely not because-

“why didn’t you tell me you’re scared of heights? i wouldn’t have asked to come up here if i knew!” you scold the older girl who’s got her eyes screwed shut, practically nuzzling into you.

“well, i said i wanted to spoil you! and whatever makes you happy i’ll do it. as long as i don’t open my eyes i’m okay. just let me know when it’s over!” she whines.

you chuckle, “your big tough persona is definitely out of the window, isn’t it, nayeonie?”

she scoffs letting out a pout, “whatever.”

a few minutes later, the ride came to a stop, and you smile looking at nayeon, “it’s over now.”

within a second she got off the cart, dragging you off with her.

but you gasp, “wait! my dolphin!”

this caught nayeon’s attention and she smiles, “i’ll get it for you.”

letting go of your hand, she goes back onto the cart successfully getting your plushie, only for the gate to close.

she turns around so fast she could get whiplash, and the ferris wheel had begun running once more.

her eyes go wide as she began to go up higher and higher, “y/n!!!” she screams.

“oh my god, nayeon! sir, she wasn’t even trying to get back on!” you yell at the worker.

he only shrugs, “sorry ma’am. i’ve got to let it go around again.”

you only groan, but chuckle at nayeon’s frantic yelling and insults she’s throwing at the worker.

“yah! you should get fucking fired! i wasn’t trying to get back up here! what the fuck! hurry the fuck up! Y/N!!!”

~~

after pulling up in front of your apartment complex, you look at nayeon after she puts the car in park.

“here we are.” she sighs looking at you.

you look at nayeon with a big smile, heart eyes practically.

“thank you for tonight, nayeon. i really enjoyed myself, and thank you for winning me this. i really love it.”

“i enjoyed myself, too y/n. and i’m glad you had fun, also.” she says.

you giggle shyly.

“let me walk you to the door.” she says as she gets out of the car.

you get out of the passenger’s seat, nayeon following you with her hand in yours.

“what a gentlewoman.” you joke.

once you reach the door, you turn back to nayeon.

“thank you again, nayeon.”

she shakes her head, “don’t thank me. i just really wanted to do this for you.”

“and…if you’ll let me…i’d like to take you out on another date sometime soon?” she asks with a look of hopefulness in her eyes.

you chuckle looking down at your intertwined hands before looking back up at her, “i wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

nayeon subtly let out a sigh of relief breaking into a smile.

“bye nayeon.”

“bye y/n.” a kiss to her cheek you made before making your way inside, making her freeze with a blush.

you lean back on the door with a sigh and a smile on your face.

“so…? how’d it go?” you suddenly heard sana ask.

you couldn’t answer that. you were to much in a state of bliss to do so.

“it looks like someone else is just as happy as y/n.” jihyo says looking out of the window.

you quickly rush over looking through the blinds seeing a nayeon who’s giddy, jumping up and down with a huge smile on her face as she made her way to her car.

you giggle.

“how was it? i saw she got you a plushie! what else did you guys do?” sana rambles.

~~

a few weeks later, you find yourself packing a bag with a few clothes. as well as your essentials.

“i better not find out that you’ve been put on a bail fine, y/n.” jihyo scolds.

sana scoffs, “oh my goodness y/n, trust nayeon for once! they’ve been going out for a few weeks now and nothing bad has happened. you can trust to stay over at nayeon’s for a weekend.”

“…yet.”

“jihyo eonnie i’ll be fine! you can trust me.” you tell to jihyo.

a knock to the door, where you go over and open.

“hey there, gorgeous.” nayeon greets you with a kiss to your cheek.

“hi nayeon,” you look at sana and jihyo, “i’ll be back sunday.”

“okay. have fun, guys!” sana beams.

“remember y/n! birds and the bees talk and jai-” sana covers jihyo’s mouth.

“have fun!”

you giggle as nayeon takes your duffel bag for you, putting it in the trunk of her car and you get into the passenger’s seat.

[temptingfatetakingnames]

The Last Steve Harrington Part 18

AO3 / Part 1 / Part 17

Steve loved the tape. He loved it almost as much as he loved taking his car out for long drives. He didn’t go anywhere; he just rolled the windows down and turned the volume up. Sometimes he parked on the side of the road and laid down on the hood, smoking and looking at the sky, enjoying the quiet and the wind playing with his hair. Other times, he drove as fast as he could on old highway roads, when there were no other cars for miles and only Eddie’s tape for company.

The songs he chose were equal parts expected and unexpected. Steve could tell that Eddie had toned down his own tastes to pick songs that he thought Steve would enjoy. There were a few that he recognized and some that were new. He liked the first song because the lyrics reminded him of Will and Eleven.

Evil power disappears Demons worry when the wizard is near He turns tears into joy Everyone's happy when the wizard walks by

The middle of the tape got much wilder and louder and were all songs that Steve could imagine Eddie screaming and banging his head along to. One of the last songs was probably his favourite, the beat was great and he loved the vocals and lyrics. It was one that he recognized though he didn’t know if it was because Eds showed it to him or if he heard it on the radio on his own.

I've been too long, I'm glad to be back Yes, I'm let loose From the noose That's kept me hanging about I've been looking at the sky 'Cause it's gettin' me high Forget the hearse 'cause I never die

And the last song, of course, was Like a Virgin by Madonna. Steve burst out laughing when he finished the tape for the first time. He loved it. He didn’t know how Eddie managed to create a playlist that suited both of their tastes so well. As curious as he was to listen to the B side – he held off for now. When he got home, he ran for the phone, dialing Eddie’s number quickly from memory.

“Hello!”

“Like a Virgin, Munson? Really?”

Eddie’s laughter crackled through the phone and Steve’s clutched the receiver closer to his ear, as if he could prevent the sound from escaping into the air, could keep it all for himself.

“Courtesy of one Robin Buckley, my friend! Had to be included, she said.”

“I’m surprised she was able to strong arm you, especially with music. Madonna on a tape you made?” Steve tsked into the phone with fake disappointment.

“Steve, that woman is truly frightening when she sets her mind on something.”

“So, it was collaborative? And here I was giving you all the credit.”

“Oh, big word for you, Harrington. I asked for her input, she vetoed one or two of my songs… and then made me put on Madonna. Never asking her for help again,” Eddie mumbled, causing Steve to laugh.

“So,” Eddie drawled out slowly, drawing out the syllables. “You liked it?”

“I loved it! Haven’t listened to the other side yet… I’m saving it, I guess? For when I need it.”

Eddie hummed in understanding.

“Which song did you like the best?”

“It’s near the end, I’ve heard it before but don’t know the name. Back in Black?”

“No need to try and be cool, Steve. I already know your favourite is Like a Virgin.”

“Asshole,” Steve said trying to hold back more laughter, a smile very clear in his voice. “You made the tape, maybe it’s your favourite.”

Eddie gasped in outrage. “How dare you?” he asked in a scandalized tone.  “It is called Back in Black, by the way. By AC/DC.”

“Hey, why didn’t you put any –” Steve began but was cut off by Joyce.

“Steve? Is that you?” she yelled.

He held his hand over the bottom of the phone and shouted, “yeah.”

Putting the phone back up to his ear he told Eddie, “sorry, gotta go. Thanks again for the tape, I’ll see you this weekend?”

“Yup, see ya then. Next time I’ll put Madonna on the tape first so you don’t have to skip so many good songs to get to –”

Steve laughed and hung up before he could finish. He was still smiling softly to himself when Joyce walked into the kitchen.

“Who were you talking to?” she asked.

“Eddie.”

“Oh? Making more plans for the trailer?”

“Yup. And talking about music. I finally finished the tape he made me. Well, the first side anyway.”

She nodded and moved around him, going to the fridge and pulling out ingredients. She was smiling a little and Steve wondered what had put her in a good mood.

“I was thinking spaghetti tonight?” she asked. “You have to show me how to make that sauce you did last time. It was delicious.”

“Sure,” Steve said. “The secret is Heinz 57.”

Joyce popped her head out of the fridge. “The steak sauce?”

“Yup, about three tablespoons.”

“Huh, I never would have guessed,” she said and grabbed the bottle out of the fridge door, adding it to the growing pile of ingredients on the counter.

Steve went over to the sink to wash his hands before grabbing the peppers and onions. He started chopping them and didn’t notice when he started humming happily to himself.

But Joyce did.

Wednesday was a slow day at Family Video. It was just Steve running the store and he had already done all his work for the day unless someone actually came in to rent a movie. Which he highly doubted would happen at –

He glanced at the clock and groaned when he saw it was only noon. He morosely flipped through a magazine that Robin had left, feeling time drag on…

And on…

And on...

He thought about putting on a movie but couldn’t really be bothered to do it.

After what felt like an eternity later (but was probably only thirty minutes) the bell chimed over the door. Steve looked up excitedly when he saw Dustin coming in. The excitement quickly dried up however, when he saw the steely determined look on his face. He stomped over to where Steve was leaning against the counter, eyes angry and hands bawled into fists.  

“Henderson, what’s wrong?”

“You!” Dustin shouted and Steve flinched back.

“What –”

“You won’t talk to me! You avoid me, Steve! I know you do.”

He opened his mouth to deny it but stopped himself from saying the words. Dustin deserved the truth. When he had decided to talk to him at Eddie’s a few nights ago, he thought he would have more time to get his thoughts together. He should have known that Dustin would get tired of his avoidance and do something about it. He had never been the type of person to shy away from uncomfortable situations.

“You’re right,” Steve said. “I have been avoiding you.”

“Why?” Dustin asked in the heart-breaking way of a child trying to understand a fundamental law of the universe. Why would you do that? Why would you hurt me that way? Why why why?

“When you look at me, I can tell sometimes that you’re not really seeing me…” Steve said, holding Dustin’s gaze. “You’re seeing him. You all do, to some extent. Robin does a good job of hiding it but I see it when she thinks I’m not looking. I can take it with the others, I get it. But with you – it hurts more when it’s you because –” Steve cut himself off and looked away, unsure of how to continue without causing more pain. “I needed to know that you saw me, that you wanted to know me,” he finished.

“How was I supposed to get to know you? I tried to talk to you, to include you but all you did was ignore me, even when I was right beside you! I wanted to know you, Steve… but you didn’t let me.”

Steve winced, knowing that Dustin was right. He had unilaterally decided that it was impossible, that Dustin would always miss Other Steve – would always rather have Other Steve – than him. He had stayed away, kept his distance, because he was afraid that he would never measure up to the brother he had lost.

“I was the one who wouldn’t let Eleven give up, you know. She wanted to stop but I begged her to keep looking. I knew you were out there. Then we found you and you’re here… but you’re not – at least not for me,” he said dejectedly, his shoulders hunched and his face defeated.

Of course Dustin would be upset, seeing how Steve had slowly been getting closer to everyone… except him. He hadn’t meant to hurt him, but he saw that he had – deeply. He needed to fix it. He needed to fix it now. The look on his face was one that Steve never wanted to see again. That he had put it there made his chest feel tight with self-loathing.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, I didn’t let you. I kept you at arm’s length because – because I was afraid that even if you did get to know me you still wouldn’t be able to see me as separate from your Steve. Or if you did, that you’d be disappointed…that I’m not –” Steve trailed off. His inadequacies compared to Other Steve were something that he didn’t think would ever go away. The fact that he was in this universe at all was a testament to how much they loved him. How much they couldn’t let him go.

“Disappointed?” Dustin repeated, shaking his head. “I like the things that make you different. You play D&D, you loved Eddie… you fucking lived. I do keep looking for my Steve but it’s not for the reasons you think. Jesus, Steve – you have no idea. I see him sometimes, just like Robin probably does – but it’s because it’s rare that we look so hard. You really are a different person and I don’t think it’s only because of the year you survived alone. So yes, I look for him sometimes but that doesn’t mean I don’t see you. I like you for the things that remind me of him and for the things that make you different.”

That was… unexpected. Had he been misinterpreting the looks everyone had been giving him this whole time? No, he couldn’t have been that wrong. At least not in the beginning. Had it changed and he hadn’t noticed?

His whole worldview was being upended and he didn’t know how to handle it. The uncertainty must have shown on his face because Dustin came around to the other side of the counter. Steve turned and waited until he was standing in front of him – but he still didn’t know what to say. His mind was spinning, hopeful yet confused.

“Do you see me, Steve?” Dustin asked, turning the question back on him. “Or do you see the Dustin you lost?”

The question hurt; the pain cutting because that was the problem, wasn’t it? He wanted Dustin to be able to do something that he wasn’t able to do himself. But how unfair had he been to deny them both a relationship they wanted because of his failure?

“Both,” he whispered the agonizing truth. “Always both.”

He thought this truth would hurt Dustin in the same way that it always hurt himself, but the younger boy smiled at him instead. Small and with so much understanding and Steve was thrown by the maturity he saw in it.

“You haven’t given us enough credit, Steve. We knew when we went looking that you weren’t going to be the same as the Steve that we lost – but we went looking anyway. You think it wasn’t something we talked about? That we might find a version of you that didn’t even know us? That we might find a Steve who was so different from who we knew as to be unrecognizable? It didn’t matter, we needed to know – I needed to know that a version of you was alive somewhere. Then we found your universe. A universe that looked so irreparably different from ours that we didn’t expect you to be like our Steve at all.” Tears welled in Dustin’s eyes and his voice turned raspy as he said with quiet weight, “but you were still his brother.”

“I was,” Steve said around the emotion tightening his throat.

“So, why can’t you be mine?” Dustin asked, voice breaking.  

The question was soft, quiet – brave. Innocently simple. Why can’t you be my mine? And the answer, of course, was that he could be. So why were the words so hard to say? He nodded quickly and the hope burning in Dustin’s eyes cut right through him. He had told himself to fix it; so that’s what he did.

“I can be,” Steve said with determination and sincerity. “I want to be.”

It didn’t matter, in the end, whose memories belonged to whom. Dustin was Dustin and Steve was Steve and everything they had gone through was still theirs. It didn’t matter that Dustin had lost Steve and Steve had lost Dustin – because right now, they were standing in front of each other, alive. With all the shared history of family between them, and how could Steve deny the miracle of that?

Dustin smiled, widely and toothily and rushed into his arms.

“Thanks for not giving up on me,” Steve said into his hair, holding him closer.

“Never,” Dustin said, clutching him back just as tightly.

Steve couldn’t explain it – but the universe felt right all of a sudden. A missing piece of the puzzle had been found and the whole picture finally made sense. His wrong-footed shoes felt right, comfortable even. They released each other after a moment, surreptitiously wiping their eyes.

“Does this mean you’ll play D&D with us?” Dustin asked sheepishly.

Steve barked out a laugh and reached out to ruffle his hair.

“Yeah,” he said around a wide smile. “I’ll play.”

@just-a-tiny-void @mx-jinxous @child-of-cthulhu @awholedamnmesstbh @phoenix0bird @bookworm0690 @estrellami-1 @hbyrde36 @a-gae-af-racoon @novelnovella @meela86 @lenathegay @vampireinthesun @penny00dreadful @questionablequeeries @espressopatronum454 @r0binscript @seths-rogens @fruity-nerd @sani-86 @n0-1-important @swimmingbirdrunningrock @ellietheasexylibrarian @manda-panda-monium @paintsplatteredandimperfect @viridianphtalo @goodolefashionedloverboi @13catastrophic-blues @newtstabber @tinytalkingtina @whole-moods @queenie-ofthe-void @nailbatanddungeon

-Hello everyone, I apologize deeply for how long this has taken. No piece of writing has challenged me more than this… I struggled so deeply to have these characters express their emotions in a realistic way. Every word was painstakingly chosen, rewritten, changed, changed back, deleted, and agonized over. That whole scene changed so so many times and I really love certain moments and I am completely unhappy with others. I would love any and all feedback! -If you'd like the full playlist for Eddie's tape please check out my note on this chapter on AO3 :)

[buckets-and-trees]

For your sleepover...

Stucky have you whisked away for a long retreat to a cabin in the mountains, wood burning fireplace, hot tub for pre play and aftercare, and on the second day there you wake up tied to the bed and blindfolded, hearing them going at it next to you, feeling the bed shake, and hearing plans for you for the next few days between declarations of love, as they finish, they realize you're awake and start in on pleasuring/ edging you.

My Jonas brother in Christ! What a lethal treat you left in my box, Libby!

I mean...

First, not surprising that they got me tied up while I was asleep, because once I'm asleep, I'm a 90% zombie sleeper hahaha (with a somnophilia kink, but that's not really relevant to this situation)

HONESTLY we better put the rest of this answer under a cut for probably sexually explicit content, or speculating about it in great detail

(unless/of course they know that and teased my sleeping form into a bit of a low thrumming for them already so I wake up in an even more ....delicate? heightened? horny state mwahaha)

This has got to be a "realize you're awake" thing, right? They know everything about me. They know I'm awake. But if I'm a good girl and don't make a sound, I'll get to watch. They know there's a part of me that also goes fi;aoffj;oaa'ioaraf when they talk about me like I'm not there. They know I hate to be tied up. (hate - I'm willing to endure the torture because they make it good and will reward me even further once they let me loose.) Last night when we got to the cabin was about relaxing, having fun, it was a long drive, so we ate dinner, chatted, had some wine, kissed and enjoyed each other a bit, but nothing crazy before we went to bed. But to wake up like this? Turned on and desperate, desire dialed up to eleven watching them, while I'm tied up they're going to make me an absolute whimpering mess, edging me continually, but then finally drawing two or three orgasms out of me before they untie me because now I'm just a pliable fucked out mess that they get to just pass back and forth all morning.

They wanted to take me on a retreat, right? I'd probably been working too hard, so their goal was to get me to a place where I couldn't think anymore.

Once they're done with this phase/the first morning, Bucky draws me a bath and gets me settled in the tub of the opulent bathroom (it's one of those 'rich people cabins' they've rented) while Steve gets a big charcuterie tray ready for all of us, and they hand-feed me morsels. Then they wash my hair and my body, towel me dry, take me to the bed and rub lotion over every inch of me (with plenty of soft kisses) (but this isn't about sensual heat right now). Bucky braids my hair. They dress me in cute panties, a pair of soft sleep shorts, one of Steve's old crewneck sweatshirts, then crawl onto the bed with me and pull me up to the pillows, tucking in on either side of me for a cuddled-up afternoon nap. It's the most glorious first half of the first day of our cabin vacation.

[hogwartsandhawkins]

Prove Me Wrong

Chapter 4: Looking For Good

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Summary: Telling Steve she has a new ride to school doesn't go so well.

Warnings: Swearing (but what's new) Billy bullying Max briefly. Also, Billy pressuring reader (Jess) into letting him give her a ride. (I include this because the reader says no after second-guessing her decision, causing Billy to push back, which can have some underlying themes for some, and I wanted to be sensitive to that.) As always, please let me know if I miss anything.

Word Count: 2.4K

Author's note: I know I know, I haven't posted in forever. Moving back to the States was an EVENT, to say the least. I have also been working on this for a while, many chapters are already written and I'll post them as soon as I feel they have been reread enough for them to be slightly okay.

Jess awoke that Sunday morning as she did every Sunday morning: already thinking of an excuse to not attend church that her parents would buy into. Luckily, she didn’t really need to think of one for long as she already had plans to invite Steve over to finally “help” him with his physics project. She was surprised her parents haven’t taken the hint by now, considering that she has been avoiding that place like the 10 plagues of Egypt ever since she experienced the capabilities of the upside down, and of course, Eleven. But since skipping downstairs and laying out why she refused to go was a blatant impossibility, she merely explained that Steve needed her help.  Thankfully, she didn’t have parents like Steve. Instead of the guilt trip, she received a slightly disappointed “tisk” from her mother, who then told her they’d miss her. 

Jess watched as her parents exited through the garage door, which was located next to the pantry in the kitchen, then proceeded to dial the Harrington’s line. She knew Steve would be up, as his parents were always explaining how if he wouldn’t go to church, he at least needed to be productive on his Sunday mornings, which involved him getting up at the same time as Mr. and Mrs. Harrington, at least when they were home.

“Yup?” Steve’s voice was groggy and laced with what Jess sensed as resentment, most likely caused by his mother’s usual “seize the day” spiel followed by her opening the blinds that shielded Steve’s bedroom from the unwelcomed amount of light. 

“Good morning to you too, Harrington.” 

His voice seemed to pick up a bit when he heard who was on the other side of the phone. “Oh hey, Jess, how’s your morning been? Better than mine I hope…” Steve’s voice lowered to a whisper at the last part he added.

Jess ignored the question and went straight into asking him to come over so they could finally get his physics project out of the way. With the promise of Steve being allowed to hide out for the rest of the day at her house and an afternoon nap, he quickly agreed and was knocking on the Logan’s door in no more than 20 minutes. 

Steve set the box full of different shaped and sized lenses, stands, a light, and everything else Steve was instructed by Jess to bring. “So. How was Friday with Hargrove?” He visibly tensed as he said his name, shaking his head in disgust after thinking about it for too long. 

“It was fine.” Jess tried to avoid eye contact as she began setting up his quick focal point experiment, bringing out the ruler as she set up the first lens. 

“Fine? That’s all you have to say about a day with Hargrove? Fine?”

She couldn’t help but laugh at Steve’s response, “What did you expect?” 

“Really?” was all he could say. He flipped the switch of the battery-powered light to “on”, and then gave Jess a knowing, disapproving look. She didn’t even have to look back at him to know exactly what Steve was expecting: a disaster. 

“I mean, he, unfortunately, has a thing for my mom, I’m pretty sure. But it’s Hargrove. He’s gross. That’s about it.” 

Jess didn’t know how to tell him that it really wasn’t that bad, or worse, that she may have had an okay time studying with him this weekend. She was also now realizing she didn’t know how to tell him that Billy Hargrove was under the impression that he would be taking her to school tomorrow morning. 

She decided maybe the best approach was to do so while Steve was distracted, so as they continued replacing the lenses and repositioning the stand, she started out slowly. “So… you know how Max and Billy live, like, right down the street?”

“Uh-huh…” Steve didn’t look up from his notes, working out the equation for the last lens they set up.

“Well, Max and him were wanting to give me a ride Monday… To school I mean.” 

Unfortunately for Jess, he was well aware Max and him just meant him, so he looked up from his notes, amused at the thought of Jess turning him down. “Ha! Did Hargrove throw a fit when you told him ‘No’?”

“He didn’t really accept ‘no’ for an answer…” Not that I exactly tried hard enough to tell him “No”. 

Steve dropped his notebook on her coffee table with a plop and then turned back his attention to Jess, who was now holding a tight-lined smile on her face, ready for the anticipated ridicule she was about to receive. “Oh come on. You know, kid, you really need to grow a backbone.” 

“I honestly think you’re making it out to be worse than it is. I mean, Max will be there. Plus, it’d save you the time and the gas. I’m like the opposite direction of school for you anyways.” 

Steve considered this for about a millisecond before shaking his head rapidly, “I’m sorry, call me crazy, but it seems like you want him to pick you up.” When Jess didn’t answer right away, he continues, “Oh Jesus H, you’re not serious!” 

“No! I don’t want him to, but I mean… I think he just wants to study one last time before school, you know, for the quiz and stuff…”

“Look, I don’t like the idea of you around him. When I came to that night in the back of that car and you weren’t there, I freaked.” He then lets out a sigh before continuing, “You just need to be careful with him is all I’m saying.”

“I am.” But that was a lie. There was nothing careful about what was going on. There was nothing careful about him coming over to her room, being able to look through the intimacies of her life. There was nothing careful about spending time at his home, alone with him. There was nothing careful about allowing herself to laugh at his jokes, or allowing him to buy not only her but her parents dinner. And there was nothing careful about getting in the car with him, giving him permission to take her wherever he wanted.

As if reading her mind, he ducked down slightly to meet her gaze, “Jess. I promise. You’re looking for good where there isn’t any.”  He then gave her a sympathetic smile and picked up his notebook, continuing to jot down what he thought was the correct answer to the equation. 

After a few hours and many corrections made by Jess, they were finally done with the physics lab. She assured Steve they could pick up the materials later and allowed him the couch to take that nap he was promised, and after she made sure she heard him snoring, she grabbed three muffins from the container in the fridge and walked over to the Hargrove/Mayfield household.

As it was three in the afternoon, she wasn’t sure whether Billy would be home from work, but seeing his Camaro in the driveway answered her question of whether or not to knock on the door. It seemed as though Max and Billy were the only two home, something Jess was grateful for considering her first run-in with Mr. Hargrove was not as pleasant as most of her run-ins with other adults. When Max opened the door, she looked excited to see her, but immediately looked behind her and shut the door, holding in her excitement until she was sure Billy couldn’t hear. 

“Hey! Oh, you should have seen Dustin’s hair Friday! It was insane.” Max then realizes Jess is holding not one, but three muffins in her hand, and cocks her head to the left. “Are all of those for me?” 

“Well, one is, but I’m actually here to talk to Billy for a few seconds. Is he here?”

Max took one of the muffins, bit into it, and then proceeded to talk in between bites. “Ew. Why?” 

“It’s about him taking me to school on Monday…” 

At this, Max’s distaste turns back into excitement. “Wait, we’re taking you with us?” 

“Well, no, not anymore, I was thinking I’d stick to Steve taking me to school.” 

“MAX! WHO’S AT THE DOOR?!”

“NOBODY!” Max rolled her eyes before continuing, “Please, please, pleeeaaasee let us pick you up tomorrow. He might actually not be such an ass if you’re there.” As she finished her pleading, the door swung open, with none other than Billy Hargrove standing at the entrance. 

“Hey, princess, couldn’t wait to see me?” It was Jess’s turn to roll her eyes as she handed the remaining two muffins to Billy. 

“Hey! Why does he get two?” 

Jess ignored Max’s annoyed expression and proceeded to change the subject. “So I’m just going to ride with Steve tomorrow. Don’t worry about picking me up.” 

Before Billy could respond, Max continued from earlier, “Tell Steve we’ll bring you to school in one piece.” 

“You heard the little shit, we’ll make sure to take real good care of you. Plus, I need you in the morning.” 

“Why?” Max’s look of disgust made a return, which seemed to irritate Billy as he coldly looked back at her and ordered her back inside. 

“She can stay if she wants to stay.” Jess began to remember why she took a disliking to him in the first place. It was easy to forget how… awful... Billy could be if he wasn’t sitting there joking with you, actively trying to be nice to you. You’re looking for good where there isn’t any. The thought made Jess clench her jaw only slightly, but enough to make Billy notice. “Yeah, I’ll just ride with Steve. See you, Hargrove.” She then allowed herself to give him a short smile before heading back in the direction of her home. 

He had only watched her walk away for a second until he decided he needed to catch up to her, not liking how that conversation ended. Billy pushed the muffins at Max without thinking and started striding after Jess. “Hang on there, Logan,” he mocked the way she spat out his own last name, “You gotta help me study before the quiz.”

“I don’t gotta do anything.” There it was: the attitude that Billy was sure they have gotten passed. It made him pull his body back in recoil, being discomforted by the thought that she may not have been warming up to him this weekend after all. Sure, it really had only been two days, but he was enjoying her company, considering it was better compared to who usually kept him company, and he could have sworn she felt the same, at least a little bit? “Look, I already promised I wouldn’t say anything about our reading sessions or your dad, okay? You don’t need to keep an eye on me. I’ll see you for our next project.” 

“Keep an eye on you? Did I do something wro-“ 

“I don’t like the way you talk to Max.” She blurted out, which surprised both her and Billy, and when Billy couldn’t think of anything else to say, she continued, “I don’t like the way you talk to anyone actually. Or about anyone. Or with anyone. You- you’re just. You don’t…” Jess didn’t know any other way to say it, “You’re not a nice person, Billy. And I don’t have time for that. So thanks for the offer, but I’m not interested.” She stayed looking at Billy, who refused to look anywhere other than his feet. He began to run his tongue across his top row of teeth, mouth shut and downturned, and began to nod, as if he was thinking about what was said. He then looked up, still not at her, but to her house where he saw a familiar vehicle in her driveway: Pretty Boy’s BMW. 

Makes sense. He thought to himself. “So I’m guessing King Steve didn’t approve when you told him, huh?” 

The question irritated Jess even more. Not just for the mere fact that Billy didn’t believe she could make her own decisions, but just hours ago Steve accused her of the same. “I can decide for myself who takes me where. Thanks.” Silence. “Did you not listen to a thing I said? I said I don’t want to be around you because you’re an asshole, not because Steve said ‘no’!” 

“Oh no, I heard you, Jess. It just seems weird to me that last night you were completely fine with me taking you and now when Steve’s over, you tell me to fuck off.” 

“When did I ever say I wanted you to take me to school? When you asked me, or excuse me, told me you were taking me, did I once say, ‘yes’? Did I once ask you to take me to school?” Billy was now looking at Jess with an expression she didn’t recognize, which made her uncomfortable enough to look away. 

“Can I take you to school tomorrow, please?” But the softness in his voice jerked her gaze back to him, trying to analyze him, to see if there was any hint of insincerity. He quickly looked over his shoulder before continuing. “You’re right. I didn’t ask. And I’m sorry. You don’t have to say yes, but shi-Max wants you to come with, and, I… want you to too. So.” This made Jess furrow her brows. In some ways, he was right. She had every intention of going with him until this morning. She wanted to help him study, considering how much work he put into their reading sessions this weekend. But of course, Steve was also right. There was no way around it, Billy was a dick. To his sister, to his sister’s friends, to her friends, even to his own friends. 

When it was made obvious to Billy she didn’t seem ready to respond, he sighed and continued, “Look, I’ll be at your house at the same time I told you last night, if you don’t come out then I’ll leave, okay?” 

“I’ll help you study.” Is all Jess said in response to his offer, and began to walk back to her house. Billy took what he could get and nodded after she had already turned away, and did the same, returning back to his house. Billy didn’t realize that Max stayed out by their doorway, attempting to watch the whole thing. Before he could give her shit for being nosey, he replayed Jess’s words in his head. “Give me those,” is all he said as he took the muffins from her hands and went back to his weights.

[dani-the-goblin]

Test Drive Chapter 3.5

Electric Touch

A quick piece on what happened on the other side of the call ♥️

“I'm gonna call her,” River whispered to V, still watching the kids breathing in their beds.

“Okay.” She responded, looking up at him. Joss said she would call before eleven, if it lasted that long. River waiting the full hour was a compromise, a miracle on it's own. V clung to the sides of the doorway, stretching up to peck his jawline before watching him walk to the living room. She stayed in that doorway, listening.

She's fine.

They got caught up.

Huh, that sounds familiar.

She smiled, but guilt and the sleeping heads in front of her kept her from actually laughing.

It's fine.

It's funny.

Because she's fine.

“Please don't do this…” V heard him mumble over the dial tone. His voice was breaking. She hadn't heard it sound like that since before they found Randy. That ride to Edgewood was the first time he really scared her. It worked out that time, at least. She wasn't so sure she could do it again. She turned towards him to get closer as the call connected

“J- You motherfucker” River exhaled deeply then held his breath, unconsciously preparing the yell already boiling in his chest, “Tell me where she is. Right fucking now,” he growled. Before V could hear the response, he shot out the front door.

She leaned heavy on the hallway walls, trying to run after him. For a moment, the world was black until she landed, sweating, against the open front door. River has frozen in his tracks midway through the front yard. He turned around, looking up from the holo screen. His eye was glistening in the porch light, but he was smirking. Another familiar look, but a much better memory. She clicked her teeth and stood up straighter, a corpo smug to cover up the panic. It didn't hide the shaking.

“Come here” he didn't let her respond before pulling her into a hug.

“No way. Already?”

“Not yet.” He chuckled andbkissed the top of her head, “But when it does, we're absolutely getting her back.”

“Damn I'm good,” she whispered, leaning into his shoulder. She didn't need to see his eye rolling. “Wait. Does this count as my first successful gig? I did kinda set it up and no one died.”

“Y’know what? Sure. Let's have a drink. To celebrate.”

“Sure, yeah, ‘celebrate’”

taglist x

@ghostoffuturespast @theundertakeriscoming

@claymorexpunisher @luvwich

[ben-wisehart]

hi! do you ever feel like the bingqiu fandom is binghe biased? like a lot of the time its giving.. “wow binghe is our little precious bun who deserves the world and more! ..oh and stinky neet loser sqq is so blessed to have him lul” it feels unfair towards sqq :( it makes me sad hes no ones fave but thats okay like whatever right? but even when its bingqiu hes treated like an afterthought. like we have binghe fans criticising sqq for not doing more, sj fans are frankly delusional, sqh fans think hes “too mean” to their precious hamster, liushen fans only like him bc hes a good hole/dick for lqg (obligatory “not all men” lol) idk i only follow a handful of svsss twt accs because no one seems to like him, he feels either tolerated or treated as a gag character lol 🥹

i just dislike a lot of fanon bingqiu i think? i read all the books before hopping on twitter and i see some absolute rancid takes on there like the woobification of Shaun(tm) qinghua and jiumei.. which is easy enough to avoid tbf so whatever floats their boat idc. but when i follow bingqiu accs, it feels like OC x OC rather than ~bingqiu~ if that makes sense? like i LOVE the manipulative crybaby domtop x flustered thin face subby pillow princess they have going on!! and fanon bingqiu is just.. not it? and obv id never send hate or anything (i just block and keep it moving) but it makes it kinda sucky when the fandom is already teeny tiny and a large chunk of the fandom isnt what i envisioned/expected i guess which is so odd! when they essentially erase canon!! if it’s like some queerbaity ship or whatever, people can characterise them however they want but its like CANON how they act/are in bed/etc and its all taken away!!! idk im probably just whining sorry 😭

(i included all my thoughts here sorry for the spam!!)

hey, thanks for stopping by!! I definitely know what you mean with regards to SQQ, but I will assure you that there are very much still plenty of dedicated "sqq mains" out there. My sphere of influence on twitter is heavily biased toward people for whom sqq is their favourite character, so maybe I'm not getting a representative sample of the fandom overall, but he's definitely a very well loved character and has more than his fair share of people who do him justice in their writing and for whom he's their primary blorbo!! I remember posting this on reddit a while back and more than half of the responses (though admittedly a small sample size) had him as their fave. So, I don't think he's without appreciation!

But with that said, I do get where you’re coming from. I’m not gonna talk about readers who take his actions in bad faith and actively dislike him (HOW??), but as you’ve said, even among people who do like him, we don’t always understand him as well as we could. Most fans do get on some level that he’s an unreliable narrator, but it’s still very common for people to take him at face value and completely miss his depth. He’s a funny little guy with amusing narration, but he’s also kind and selfless, and he’s also smart and witty, and obnoxious and annoying, and frankly pretty insensitive, and deeply, deeply traumatised—and a million other things! He has layers.

I think all popular characters in fandom will inevitably start getting boiled down to a few key traits. And as somebody who’s been writing fic for 15 years, it’s really hard not to let your own biases colour your portrayal? I absolutely do it with SQQ!! I focus on his kinder, warmer aspects and downplay his flaws, I’ll readily admit that. We all get drawn to a favourite character for a certain trait, and that trait becomes the grit around which our interpretations form. If you’re somebody that likes silly characters, you’re going to write SQQ and dial his silliness up to eleven. If you like kind characters, you’ll write SQQ with emphasis on his kindness. None of these traits are OOC in and of themselves, but if you start to only read fanfic and don’t revisit the source material, you can get lost in what’s popular and forget all the depth that actually made them interesting in the first place. And once you’ve grown attached to a particular version of the characters in your head, it can be really hard to let go of it. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I'll add that I think protagonists are just particularly prone to this happening because they're usually the one the audience relates to most.

Idk if any of that really addresses the stuff you were talking about. You mentioned dom top Binghe/pillow princess sqq and to be honest I’m kind of reluctant to talk about this in depth because I’ve received negative comments in the past for supposedly being anti-bottom Binghe, when all I’ve ever said on this matter is that I think it’s a bit weird to insist that “I’m scared of hurting you so I might as well let you do it” is proof that Binghe is canonically a bottom. The fact that someone found that statement so threatening to their view of the characters that they would go to my ao3 page, click on the first fic they saw that happened to feature bottom SQQ and leave their holier-than-thou anonymous opinion there is just bizarre to me.

To be honest tho, it tends to be Binghe characterisation that puts me off moreso than Shen Qingqiu. The only SQQ characterisation that truly bothers me is when people write him as willing to hurt Binghe, or willing to do anything with underage Binghe, but there is a LOT of Binghe stuff that I’m sensitive too. Idk if you read this thread of mine but like, even my friends whom I love make “Binghe stalking/imprisoning/"atticwifing" SQQ” jokes and these bother me way more than any random stranger saying SQQ would get off on spanking Binghe.

And like, it’s kind of hard because objectively, Binghe is a very dark character, so it doesn't feel particularly OOC to say he would do those things, but it's about framing. It bothers me when the emphasis is on how fucked up he is and not how hard he's trying, because it implies a level of futility that I just don’t think is there in canon. To me the beauty of him is in how much doing right by SQQ doesn't come naturally to him, but he ultimately decides to do it anyway because he wants SQQ to be happy. (I feel it needs to be said that I don't mean this in a judgy "if you write dark Binghe you don't understand him and are a bad person" way. Just that I myself can't handle that, and I strongly disagree if you think it's where Bingqiu's relationship is headed).

but idk, I've found my corner and I'm very happy here. I actually don't read fic as often as you'd think, mostly because I am sooooo picky, so I totally get where you're coming from :) but the fandom is still decently sized and very diverse, so there are always going to be at least a few people who share your feelings, if you can find them!

[ridley-was-a-cat]

Winter 2024 Anime Roundup

Anime of the Season – The Apothecary Diaries

I’ve been hearing about this series since Raven of the Inner Palace aired a while back, and the fans spoke so highly of it that I was dubious of anything living up to the expectations they’d set. Luckily for me, they weren’t exaggerating one bit, and the anime adaptation delivered a story that had me itching to watch the next installment as soon as the episode ended each week.

The story opens with Maomao getting abducted and sent to work in the imperial palace, where she intends to keep her head down and just quietly do her work in the inner palace, only to find a little matter involving poison she can’t resist poking her nose into, leading a powerful young man in the palace to take notice of her. Throughout the story, her desire to mind her business and not get tied up in palace affairs wars with her absolutely insatiable curiosity wherever drugs or poisons are involved, and it leads her in and out of a series of mysteries involving the residents of the palace, changing the course of her life. It was an absolute treat to watch her and Jinshi dance around each other, as Maomao wants nothing to do with the beautiful man all the women fawn over, and he finds her lack of interest in him irresistible, and seeing the way all the seemingly unrelated mysteries built towards a larger conspiracy was immensely satisfying. When you combine all this with an equally colorful supporting cast, a gorgeous color palette, excellent background art, and solid animation, you get the sort of anime you feel lucky to get to watch. 9/10

First Runner-Up – Brave Bang Bravern!

Equal parts sincere and farcical, this series takes all the tropes and homoeroticism of mecha anime and dials them to eleven. It boasts some of the best 3D mecha animation I’ve seen, a star-studded voice cast, and a story with the perfect mix of comedy and action. If you’ve ever clapped your hands and cheered for an over the top robot fight, this is the show for you. 9/10

Second Runner-Up – Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End

The entire series is beautifully drawn and animated, with a perfect soundtrack and voice cast to match, and it takes a fantastic, heartfelt story about valuing the connections you make with others and elevates it to another level. A poorly paced exam arc in the second half that takes the focus off the main trio dampened my enjoyment somewhat, but it easily would’ve been my anime of the season in most seasons. 8/10

The Dangers in My Heart S2 – Kyotarou and Anna keep getting closer and closer over the course of this season, and the way they timed the emotional high of each episode to the soundtrack and the title card has me ready to swoon the moment I see the word “karte” written in white on a black screen. A nicely produced romance about a middle school boy and girl pushing each other to be their best selves that I’m really glad I watched. 8/10

Kingdom S5 – Xin and his Fei Xin force are under the command of the ruthless general Huan Yi in this arc, and they rediscover how merciless and inhumane war is as they fight a battle in Zhao territory as part of Qin’s effort to unify China. Xin’s voice actor completely knocks it out of the park here, delivering several emotional speeches with the perfect amount of gravitas. 8/10

7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy! – I knew when the female lead leapt off a balcony in front of the male lead after being jilted by her fiancé and he immediately fell in love with her that I was in for a good time, and it never let me down. Rishe’s constant scheming that drew on things she learned in her six previous lives, and Prince Arnold’s mix of bewilderment and affection for his unpredictable fiancée, made this one of the best fantasy romance series in years. 8/10

Mr. Villain’s Day Off – The premise of a general in the evil organization fighting the rangers for control of Earth strictly avoiding work on his day off sounds like the setup for a sit-com, but the story it actually settles in to tell is one that quietly highlights the beauty and comfort found in the ephemeral moments of daily life. A relaxing slice of life series that was the perfect capstone to my Sunday evenings this season. 7/10

A Sign of Affection – I have some nitpicks about some adaptation decisions in the anime that made the female lead appear less disabled than she is in the manga, but, on the whole, this was a lovely shoujo romance about a group of young adults doing their best to forge their own path in the world, with some nice production values. 7/10

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! – If you can look past the wild title and premise, and you don’t mind some inconsistent character models or animation, there’s a nice workplace romance in here centered on a group of grown men talking things out and supporting each other as they navigate their messy feelings. (It’s not as funny as the manga is, though.) 7/10

Sengoku Youko – It took me a few episodes to warm up to this historical set fantasy adventure, but once the story got going, with a solid mix of strong character development and the occasional emotional punch to the gut, I was all in. The character designs are unique and expressive, the action is nicely choreographed and animated, and the voice actors really put their backs into some of the more intense moments. 7/10

Undead Unluck – The pacing was a bit of a problem, with some incredibly long recap segments in episodes in the second half, but the chemistry between the two leads – a man who can’t die and a young woman who causes life threatening bad luck to anyone who touches her – made this action series about fighting to stop the apocalypse a really fun time. 7/10

The Witch and the Beast – If you’re like me, and you go weak in the knees for a chain smoking man with bedroom eyes in a long coat, and a messy woman who might get you both arrested when you go out drinking, then this supernatural themed noir is the show for you. Production values are inconsistent over its run, but the writing and voice acting are solid throughout. 7/10

The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic – A boy getting isekaied by accident when his classmates are summoned to be heroes in another world could easily have been the start of yet another story about an aggrieved loner making it big as an overpowered hero in a fantasy world, but it thankfully subverted expectations and delivered an isekai adventure with a bit of heart and a cast of likeable characters. 7/10

The Foolish Angel Dances with the Devil – What appeared to be a gimmicky battle of wits love comedy in the beginning turned into a solid forbidden romance between a demon and an angel with genuinely good chemistry between them. The two leads were easy to root for as they caught feelings for each other while fighting their way through the ridiculous situations they kept landing in. 7/10

The Demon Prince of Momochi House – This is a neither good nor bad anime about a teenage girl inheriting an old house in the woods that serves as a gateway between reality and the spiritual world, and moving in with the mysterious teenage boy and his ayakashi attendants who protect it. The characters are likeable, and the romance is pleasantly cheesy like an otome game, but the rushed pace of the relationship development and the quickly resolved yokai cases just feel like they adapted more manga than the runtime supported. 6/10

Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I’m Not the Demon Lord – Deadpan, autistic-coded Yumiella is a ton of fun as the OP main character in this otome isekai, and she and her love interest make a great couple, but the level grinding wasn’t exciting enough, and the jokes weren’t funny enough to overcome the poor visuals. 6/10

Bucchigiri?! – Hiroko Utsumi directing an original anime mixing old school delinquents with Aladdin and the Lamp sounded like it could be a rollicking fun romp in the style of her previous original, Sk8, but pacing issues led to a repetitive first half, the main character was deeply unlikable, and the rushed ending felt unsatisfying. The art and animation were generally quite good, with some great fight scenes, but the writing needed to be better. 6/10

Solo Leveling – The series is very well produced, with exciting action scenes set to a lively soundtrack, but any time I started to relax and enjoy some nicely animated fights, the main character would come out with some eye-rolling, angsty teen speech about the strong preying on the weak, and it just wasn’t for me. 6/10

Shangri-La Frontier – There’s little to criticize in the production of this VR MMO themed action series. The voice actors gave great performances, the monster fights are well animated, and the art has a distinctive feel to it. Unfortunately, the story just never really grabbed me, the stalker girl really annoyed me whenever she appeared, and the extras at the beginning and end of most episodes felt like padding. 6/10

My Instant Death Ability is So Overpowered, No One in This Other World Stands a Chance Against Me! – An unusual teenage boy with the ability to instantly kill anyone by just thinking about it gets sent to another world with a bus full of his classmates, and the ensuing adventure kept me entertained the whole time, but I can’t quite call it good. The manzai comedy dynamic between the male and female lead was a fair bit of fun as they traveled across the land, poking fun at common isekai tropes. 6/10

Blue Exorcist: Shimane Illuminati Saga – I remember really enjoying the first two seasons of this series, and I still love the characters, but this season just never clicked right for me. The opening arc felt rushed through, and the main arc had a cartoonish buffoon of a villain that completely undercut the horror of the story. It wasn’t a chore to watch or anything, but it could have been better. 6/10

Metallic Rouge – Like many others, I had high hopes for this original sci-fi series Bones put out as an anniversary project, but despite the generally solid visuals, the poor writing drags the whole show down, making this one of the biggest disappointments of the season. The incoherent plot fails to come to a point, the dialog is a terrible mix of forced quirkiness and tedious monologuing, and the characters are largely one-note and undeveloped. 6/10

Sasaki and Peeps – The hour-long premiere episode suggested this story about a middle aged salaryman who discovers his new pet bird is a reincarnated wizard from another world might be a fun take on the isekai genre, but the end product felt more like someone playing with their dolls than crafting a coherent story. It continually introduced new characters and new tropes all the way through to the last minute without tying anything together. 5/10

The Fire Hunter S2 – On the one hand, I appreciate how different it is from other series, with unusual character designs and an imaginative fantasy story that isn’t an amalgamation of light novel conventions. On the other hand, though, the production is incredibly rough, and the plot got increasingly hard to follow, making this a bit of a slog by the end. 5/10

Fluffy Paradise – I was basically on board in the first half to two-thirds of the series, when it seemed like a harmless little reincarnation isekai about a girl collecting animal and monster friends, but it completely lost me when it broke out the reservation camps and dead bodies in the last arc. Just a poorly written show that misunderstood its appeal. 5/10

[hourglassfish]

On Season 1, Episode 7 : Part One : I Expect More: Syd and Carmy's Relationship

So I think this is gonna end up being in a few chunks - I think I want to talk about context leading up to the episode:

I Expect More: Syd and Carmy's relationship,

I know you'll be listening: Marcus, McDonald's and Freedom

Risottogate

Hiring New Fucking Broads: Syd, Richie and conflict;

"That's Not You" The Moment Syd Walks Out

So I'm late on this obvs - and I'm sure the whole world and his dog has already said what needs to be said about this episode, but I wanted to think about it anyway. There's a post on here somewhere that says that episode 7 doesn't have a three act structure, that it captures a moment of stress and tension, and that's it - but this isn't quite how I read it, I believe that it does both. How obvious this is all depends on how you frame it.

There's a central feint to The Bear that I come back to often - that you think 'a stranger comes to town' and that that stranger is the return of Carmy, made strange by his time away. Nah! The stranger is Sydney. The show doesn't really start until she arrives, (we know that Carmy's been in Chicago for two weeks, but our story doesn’t start there. There's a reason for this!) she is a force that is shaking things up and providing dynamism. This is not to say Carmy isn't the protagonist, obvs, nor that he is passive, very much not. But it is often her presence, her drive and determination and belief in Carmy, a belief she is unafraid to unabashedly express, which moves him, and moves everyone around him. When she is around, and Carmy lets himself lean into their connection, he is able to articulate - and action - what he wants, to ‘let it rip’.

I say this in relation to episode 7, cus if your focus is Carmy, then it's one minute in time, a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. But if you focus in on Sydney, it is the story of how she came to quit. Whenever someone is like 'She's a brat! She's arrogant! it was her fault!' - I'm like OK sure - if you want to completely identify with Carmy at his worst, we can do that, and if you want to ignore how the rest of the staff respond to what happens, sure, we can do that too. We can do that. But the show is really clear on the framing of what happens.

So let's begin with the context of where this day comes from.

There is an ambiguity to Carmy and Sydney's working relationship which very much works in his favour. Very much.

In the week that she staged, Syd quickly finds herself as sous, because she has to. The kitchen is not functioning, and Carmy does not have the emotional skills, or at least the emotional bandwidth, to navigate the grief and anger and dysfunction they are all engaged in, to get the kitchen to a place where it can work. There was a reason Kitchen Nightmares made such compelling TV, and it was because behind bad food, ugly decor and terrible profit margins were almost always a bunch of people that were hurting. Carmy may be Gordon Ramsay here, but its Syd who's the hard working, behind the scenes producer, doing the actual graft that pulls it all back together.

She then spent her time away from work essentially formulating a business plan (she proposes first! way before 1:8) to make the restaurant profitable. We know Carmy is bad at this. Richie articulates as much ; 'you've been here two weeks and we've had money problems for two weeks'. Sydney's able to not only see the problems in a week but also suggest practical fixes. This is where they overspend i.e. its the delivery on the flour, not the material itself - and this is how to fix it - Marcus drives to pick it up. Instantly actionable. She has skills from Sheridan that are better suited to running a business like the Beef than the skills and tastes that Carm has from being Chef De Carmy* at Eleven Madison Park or Noma. It will never not be funny to me that she presents this to him in episode 2, and that in episode 3 he says 'I'll dial business, you do everything else' - my guy she has already done it!!! You are not slick!

She's does a lot of the emotional labour of getting the brigade into shape: the shitty, endless nagging, being the bad (or at least annoying) guy over and over again, despite clearly being one of the youngest there, and the newest member of staff. She does this without the authority of being an owner, or a member of the family. I'm gonna try and avoid referring to gender and race explicitly here - like the show does, LOL - but like... it's there. We all know it's there.

We know she is brilliant in a crisis: in Sheridan Carmy tells her they can't afford to lose a single service, so when the electricity goes and the gas goes, she sets up a fucking BBQ from found building materials outside. It's kind of incredible, and they all know and acknowledge it. (Sheridan, Review and The Bear are three different stories of crisis management, and thinking about them that way is really useful)

She is in! 100%. All of her energy and creativity and care and patience have gone into The Bear, it flourishes under the love that is still looking for a home following Sheridan Road’s demise. They are fucking so lucky to have her, and to have her at this specific moment in time.

What exactly does she get back from Carmy for that? There's her wage, of course. She's working well beyond what she's being paid, but you know, it's her job. There's a bunch of stuff we could say about the satisfaction of doing a job well - but that's not what she gets from him.

She supposedly gets a boss that listens to her, she gets to not have some psycho stood behind her pushing and screaming. But this is conditional. He may not scream at her (up until episode 7) but he'll 'cut her down to size' if he needs to - the conversation about stock/jus/demi-glace in episode 3, mentioning that he sought out references and slapping her with a bunch of unanticipated feedback from all her former employers when he essentially wants her to shut up about the risotto/short rib, lots of co-ercive 'are we good chef?' business (straight out of the Donna playbook, I am not, and I cannot emphasise this enough, a fan).

The main thing she gets is to be close to him and learn from him, which we know was really important for her. I think he knows it too. JAW plays it as though he knows she lied about coming to the Beef every Sunday. She’s up front on knowing who he is, so it’s not a stretch to believe that he also knows that she's there for him. She plays her cards close to her chest on all this for a reason: that same admiration has the potential to set up a very specific power dynamic, one where she simply wants to be in the presence of his 'greatness'. ***

That's the exchange, for so, so, so much labour. It's not really equitable, and I think this is a tension throughout the show**, and why I'm never fully on board with sydcarmy stuff, even whilst being able to see the vision. Like... you should be staring at her with adoration, fam, and you should be fucking terrified that she’ll leave! She's carrying a lot of this shit! Carmy knows that, even if you don’t! You don’t make an offer like the one at the end of S1 unless you really want to hold on to that person - be that romantic, platonic, or purely pragmatic (she’s a good worker). In Hands he explicitly tells her that it’s much more work than he can pay her for.

(I'm still quietly horrified by the fact that Syd is deferring her wages for six months... but not getting a profit share? fam. FAM! Looked at through a race and gender lens? In Chicago? It is no coincidence that the people that most explicitly tells her to be cautious are her father and another Black woman)

I want to make sure I've clearly said that none of this is intended as a blistering criticism of Carmy. I feel immense sympathy for him. He is grieving, and having arrived late*****, he has missed much of the communal grieving processes, like funerals, and sorting through people's stuff, that people really need to do together. He's absolutely burnt out and the role he is in requires a skill set he does not yet have (it is poignant that Syd is like ‘why are you buying farmer’s market produce?’ - Tina is right to point out that it’s not Noma, Richie and Michael’s system will have had its strengths). I'm not sure if anyone at The Beef truly knows the extent of his panic/anxiety, nor do I think he is getting treatment. I imagine he must be in flight/fight mode 24 hours a day, which, as anyone who has experienced this knows, feels like you're literally about to die. Always. Always. We are not designed to feel like that for so long.

I don't think he's some machiavellian mastermind extracting her labour from her. I think she is a lifeline and he clings. She offers, and he takes. We know from 2:9 's panic attack, that her seeing him, really, truly, *seeing* him was a deeply meaningful moment for him, that her making the choice to be at the Beef with him before she truly knew him was affirmative and transformative, and her staying, even after watching Richie bully and undermine him, even more so. I rewatched Hands today, and when she hands him the portfolio and tells him he needs help… his little face! Carmy is moving from crisis to crisis, but Syd’s head is just a little bit above the parapet, and she can think differently. He needs that, and no one deserves to feel alone with all the problems he is carrying with The Beef.

That said, I also think he can buy into his own hype, (it’s a good thing, that your sister doesn’t think you’re a genius fam), enjoys when Syd buys into it too and struggles when she does not. This is understandable. The only other person who really understands his success is Pete, who is bottom of the pecking order. He got very successful, very young. He worked hard for that but he also has the expected ego (we’ll return to this!) regardless of the fact that he is a decent guy. Syd is often negotiating this ego. He listens to her, depends on her and needs her, but he also gets to hold her to his unspecific 'higher standard',**** and 'expect more' when they clash or disagree, to wield small mistakes over her like a thunderstorm, to remind her that they both come from a cooking world where abuse is casual and accepted in pursuit of excellence.

This lack of clarity is such a fertile breeding ground for abuse. When you live in a society that is built on abusive dynamics, abuse isn't something that only evil monsters do, it's a clear and constant danger that anyone can slip into at any moment in time. That is why clear, well communicated boundaries are so important.

Everything that happens in episode 7 is a result of this messiness that has been coalescing around The Beef from the start of the series. The ambiguity of this specific dynamic, so central to the restaurant and the show itself, is one of the cornerstones of that.

Carmy can change up the dynamic of their relationship at any moment. He can be her 'mentor' when he wants to cut her down to size, he can be her 'partner' when he needs work from her, he can be a romantic and sensitive 'friend' (that looks like Jeremy Allen White) when he needs her to stay. She can never quite find her feet.

In episode 7, their dynamic changes multiple times. Are they going to be partners that solve this problem together? She tries for that, but she is swiftly, and brutally, ejected from the expo, a role that she has been in pretty much consistently, since the moment she gets the job. The team defers to her, as they've become used to, right up until the moment he screams at her to move. As in Brigade, with the stock, she is being humiliated again.

Will he be her friend, with their connection being the motor for everything else? Ehhhhn, she tries twice to talk about his clear frustration about the risotto review, he is it not having it!

Perhaps he will be her mentor here, who will model best practice in the face of a crisis they deal with together? Well… he certainly models something.

The pre order option being left on is a small mistake. Easily done, a box was ticked or unticked. Small, like leaving a packet of cigarettes near a burner while you scrub the floor, or spilling a bottle of Xanax in a children’s drinks cooler. Much less dangerous too. An easy mistake to make, and the show as a whole is very permissive about mistake making. A huge part of Uncle Jimmy’s narrative role is to make it so that mistakes don’t really stick! The show does not punish fucking up.

Maybe if they had gotten Richie set up on the tablet earlier, they'd have noticed it then. Maybe if Carmy, who was ‘dialling business’ while Syd did everything else had been training Richie, he would have clocked it instead. We’ll never know. What we do know is that there is no perspective around this, Syd’s mistake, and that when the time comes to solve it, both men ignores the skills that they know she has, and dismiss the good faith she should have accrued from months of dedication. Any warmth, respect, gratitude and care that Carmy has had for Syd up until this point dissipates, almost instantly. It's a deeply destabilising moment for the whole kitchen, but for their relationship especially.

It's hard to say much more without referring to the next sections. So...

More next time!

*I know it's Chef De Cuisine, but Chef De Carmy or Carmy De Cusine is more fun to say

**and in a bunch of work places, tbh, where a white male 'genius' is surrounded by a group of POC and women working their arses off while him and his mates dip in and out... OH NO I WENT THERE

*** I think this drives a lot of Carmy's absenteeism as well. It's weird to watch season one post season two, and see how often the team is split, for good and bad reasons. In Hands, Syd and Richie are both doing Carmy's head in, and he jumps at the chance to send them to get caulk. There’s the infamous Al Anon run in Brigade, followed by him sort of lolling about in the office (I know he’s bookkeeping), in Sheridan he does the meat run to Nat/Pete's, in Dogs they're doing the kids bday party, in Ceres for a large chunk of the day he's in the office... it's not the same as his abandoning of Syd with the menu, but you can see how scattered he is from day one, between the demands of the Beef and the demands of his family. I dunno how Michael did it, tbh. Well he couldn't, could he. That's the tragedy.

**** truly cringe to listen to a white man tell a Black woman he holds her to a different standard, as though the world is not already doing that to her. I remain, a sydcarmy safe space but ooooof. I dunno. Like I don’t need or want the Shonda ‘twice as hard, half as much’ speech to be in the show, but the women, especially the WOC, in this show don’t half put up with some shit.

***** convinced this will be a plot point next season, btw. There will be a reason why he wasn’t there and it’ll come up around Marcus’s mom’s funeral, or palliative care.

[dozenssporks]

in the Office AU Vash's coworkers have only seen Knives coldly angry and have constructed a mental picture of him as stoic and generally unfeeling. They have no idea he can be cheerful.

So when Knives strolls into the building one day with a pleased smile on his face, alternating between chuckling to himself and humming cheerfully the entire office is shook.

security, calling up to warn them of knives' imminent arrival: smiling! smiling! for a second I thought it was vash with his hair down! Then I recognized the expensive suit. T-they really are twins this is bizarre!

coworker: what is he doing here?! It's eleven in the morning on a monday and vash had the weekend off! Who called him?!

*vash wanders by munching a doughnut*

coworker: why is your brother here?

vash, dropping the doughnut but crouching and catching it before it hits the ground: who? what?! no way!

coworker: he um seems to be in a good mood?

vash, droping the doughnut again and letting it hit the floor: is someone dead?!

coworker: you mean like a family member?

vash: no! one of his business enemies! or someone who cut him off in traffic! Or--oh no!

*vash rushes over to the manager's office and slams the door open*

vash: is the company facing financial ruin?

manager, visibly shaken by vash's entrance: no, we're doing well this quarter? what--

vash: have we been bought out by a larger company?

manager: not at all, why--

vash, heaving a sigh: at least it isn't that. Unless, am I being accused of defrauding the company again?

manager: not so far as I know. did you hear something? your face is dead white

vash, leaving and dialing his phone, bouncing off the door frame when he mis-aims his exit: sorry gotta go!

coworker #2: vash, what did you do?!

vash: I DON'T KNOW

coworker #2: he was smiling!

vash: I KNOW

coworker: we're terrified!

vash: SO AM I--hang on they picked up--wolfwood? my brother is in a good mood do you know what's going on? is anyone dead?

wolfwood: eh? that's terrifying.

vash: I KNOW

wolfwood: got no idea. lemme know if it's anyone I should care about. bye.

*vash, clutching the phone and emitting high pitched noises of distress*

coworker #3: the elevator is coming up! what do we do

vash, waving his arms: early lunch, early lunch! everybody out! If you don't hear from me in fifteen minutes please remember I'd like red geraniums at my funeral!

*there's a scurry of moment as everyone flees to the stairs. there's a brief traffic jam when the elevator dings and everyone tries to get through the door at once. Vash shoves them forcibly free and the last of them escape as knives steps out of the elevator*

knives: vaaaash!

vash, under his desk: be calm be calm he can sense fear I must not fear. fear is the mind-killer

knives, walking past the desks: heeey, so my phone was glitching and I had a tech look at it. Funny thing! you know that app we use to play chess? turns out it'd been hacked!

vash: oh. it's me who's dead

knives, leaning down so he can see under vash's desk: hey vash

vash, peeking from behind his drawn up knees: hiya . . .

knives: it really is very amusing! the game was rigged to make my pieces disappear so I kept losing without knowing why!

vash: haha, really? wow, so weird and random

knives: isn't it? for the sake of company security I naturally had them trace the hack

vash: yeep

knives: I've got you, you cheating piece of trash

vash: w-why are you so cheerful then?

knives: not only did you have to cheat to beat me you also got yourself found out. it proves that I'm smarter than you.

vash: . . . that is so incredibly petty. maybe I could beat you but I couldn't be bothered to waste my time trying huh

knives, smiling widely: you're a loser

vash, kicking at knives: am not!

knives, kicking back: you even lose at cheating

vash, kicking again: you're a meanie sadist

knives, grabbing vash's ankle: you have the intellect of a grade-schooler. Come out of there, we're going to lunch

vash, wiggling and flopping as knives drags him out: I have so much work I don't have time really sorry but maybe another time I can pencil you in honestly I would love to if I just could--

knives: we're going to have a great time and we're going to play chess, won't that be fun?

vash: not--not Silent Chess, right?

knives, dragging vash toward the elevator: talking makes it so difficult to concentrate, don't you think? If you think at all, that is. Not a word until checkmate. I know you like to chat, but surely you can manage for an hour? or two? or more? Time flies when you're having fun!

vash, clawing at the carpet: please tell me you're not going to have legato sit across the room and stare at me this time.

knives: he does so enjoy watching a good game of chess. stand up, please.

vash, obeying: eeeeh . . . can I at least tell my manager I'm leaving early? It's only considerate. Look, the room doesn't even have another exit and the windows don't open.

knives: be my guest

vash, turning toward the manager's office: thank you

*vash spins around and makes a surprise run for the stairs*

knives: you little--!

vash, already pounding his way down the first flight of stairs: see you later alligator!

knives, slamming through the door after him: you can't get away, cheater!

vash, on his phone while he's running: yeah, guys? office is clear but I'm gonna be cutting out--

knives: I'm gonna make your face concave!

vash: yup yup I'll be fine! I've got an emergency evacuation plan!

*vash gets off the stairs at a floor he knows has a fire escape, rounding a corner and skidding to an abrupt halt when he sees a figure in front of the fire escape window*

legato: Hello, Vash Saverem

knives, jogging up, ruffled but grinning: ready to go, vash? legato is driving.

vash, slumping: can we please not use the chess set made of poached ivory?

knives: the set carved from rhino horns it is then.

vash: jerk

knives: moron

*around the corner a brave coworker who had stayed behind to cautiously watch and follow the twins is keeping up a running report to her colleagues on the phone*

brave coworker: I think they're getting along in a dysfunctional sibling relationship that never emotionally progressed past elementary school sort of way. I think he'll be okay.

*brave coworker pauses while the others respond*

brave coworker: oh, yes, definitely, we are going to that fancy bakery and pooling funds to get vash a six pack of doughnuts tomorrow morning.

knives, in the distance: stop touching me!

vash: I'm not touching you!

knives: yes you are!

brave coworker: . . . and another six pack next week, I think

[nighttimeebony]

Ten Tododeku headcanons part 5:

41. One of Shoto's first hints that he liked Izuku as more than a friend was during breakfast one morning. Shoto was at the table nursing a cup of tea when they all heard a loud thudding noise. They all turned at the sound and a second later, Izuku emerged from the door to the stairs with his hair unbelievably fucked and sporting the beginnings of a bruise on his forehead. When Shoto asks him what happened, Izuku sheepishly admits that he fell down the stairs. When Iida asks him why he even took the stairs in the first place because the elevator was perfectly functional, Izuku shrugs and just says "Good leg workout". While Bakugo slaps a hand to his forehead and Uraraka asks if he's okay, Shoto puzzles over the oddly fuzzy feeling in his chest and goes on to wonder if he's getting sick. (I imagine that Shoto's realization of his feelings for Izuku is at least 60% "I identify as moronsexual, and this is the moron in question".)

42. Shoto likes Izuku's voice. He likes the way it sounds and he enjoys listening to him ramble and mutter. He finds Izuku's voice soothing

43. I think that Izuku suffers from chronic pain in his right hand. Every so often, his hand will start to shake and he can't hold anything. It's beyond frustrating and Izuku does his best to hide the pain and shaking from his friends, but Shoto notices. Aizawa taught Izuku how to properly wrap his hand, and while it helped, it wasn't a cure-all, obviously. But Izuku quickly learned that heat actually helps to soothe the pain, and cue his temperature-wielding boyfriend. Shoto wastes no time becoming Izuku's personal heating pad, in a sense. At first, Izuku is hesitant because he doesn't want Shoto to worry because it's not that big of a deal, really! He's been through a lot worse than shaky hands. But he gradually gets more comfortable with admitting to his pain and asking for help, which in this case is really just a matter of holding Sho's left hand and letting the ensuing heat soothe the muscles and nerves in his own hand.

44. Izu and Sho are both intimately acquainted with loneliness in a way that no one else in their class is.

45. Because Shoto has difficulty with expressing and identifying his emotions, he likes the fact that Izuku is so unrestrained with his emotions. He's very open, expressive, and forthcoming about his feelings. And after living in a house full of people who suppressed their emotions until they violently boiled over, that kind of genuine expressiveness is much-needed and refreshing.

46. Izuku finds Shoto's calm demeanor incredibly comforting and relaxing. As someone with their emotional dial regularly turned up to eleven, that kind of calm evenness is appreciated and grounding, especially when Izuku's anxiety holds a trigger-happy finger over the buttons in his brain almost constantly.

47. Izuku has long-since been acquainted with his bisexuality. He's no stranger to having crushes, and is very comfortable in this one aspect of his life. Shoto, on the other hand, has never liked anyone before in his life and has a Sexuality Crisis™ when he gets to UA and starts crushing on Izuku.

48. Shouto thinks Izuku is fucking adorable. Shouto is especially weak for him in the mornings when Izuku's just woken up; when his hair is messier than usual, and his eyes are still dropping from sleep, and he's wearing shorts and an oversized hero hoodie (usually All Might themed)

49. One of my favorite things about Tododeku is just how much sense it would make. Obviously Shouto genuinely loves Izuku, but like of course Shouto would date the successor to the person his dad trained him to surpass, the same boy who openly opposed his father. Of fucking course Todoroki "I stole my father's credit card" Shouto would date someone that Endeavor blatantly disapproves of.

50. Izuku is definitely the more adventurous of the two, and more willing to step out of his comfort zone, while Shouto is content with routine unless pulled along by Izuku.