#Ive never hated this job more than i do today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

princesssmars · 1 year

Text

unexpected

an ellabs x black!streamer!reader

some times your viewers expect you're in a relationship, and one time you spell it out clearly for them.

wc : 1.860

contains : reader is feminine ! the picture is more lightskin but all shades can read <333 ltlvc reference

a/n : coming up with chat usernames is so hard what the fawk??? but yeah while i ignore trolls the ones under these tags were pissing me off so i wrote this for my fellow black girlies <333 i hope u enjoy :)

lets get one thing out of the way, you loved being a streamer. now that you had a good following of a few thousand regular watchers, you were more than financially stable, got to do something you enjoyed as a job, and even made a few new streaming friends.

but when it came to those friends, every content creator knew simple friendships could stir up drama. you had heard of many cases of friendships being strained or ruined because of this job. more specifically because of the fans.

which is why you took an oath to leave finer details like relationships out of your work. if you did tell a story about that time you and your friends nearly got kicked out of a local mall's journey's, you would keep descriptions of friends brief and blank, even resorting to calling people "friend number one, friend number two..."

luckily most of your fans were more than understanding that you wanted to keep some of your life private.

most of them.

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case one : the first p.o. box

it was another po box opening stream you decided to start early in the day, wanting to show and appreciate chat with the things they got for you.

lululemonsz : babe i hope its a new keyboard urs is on a iv drip !

wariolover96 : open it open the box OPEN IT

shelovedantee : damn is there a bomb in it hurry up

you laughed looking at all the people in chat begging you to open the current package in your hand.

"everybody chill out. look, im gonna open the first one now."

you quickly got a pair of scissors to cut off the packing tape on both ends, hurrying to pull the cardboard from its place.

the chat started speeding up when your mouth fell open in shock, slowly reaching in and pulling out the keyboard. it was sleek, mechanical, and your favorite color.

biiiigpoo : omg isnt that thing like $250?

lululemonsz : this as the first gift is CRAZY

ilovestardewmc1237 : one of your viewers is in love with you

you couldn't even respond, turning the keyboard over and back again to admire the details of it. out of the corner of your eye you spot a little yellow sticky note at the bottom, bringing it up to read it without letting the camera see. once you got to the end, your eyes widened and you quickly moved on to the next gifts.

but the light reflecting from your window and monitor was enough for chat to see a few letters on the note. after that, your fandom quickly began talking of a person named "A" who had not only the money to get you crazy expensive keyboards, but was also able to fluster you with a small note.

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case two : the search history.

every so often, your mods would host little events on your stream. these could include giveaways, shitty chat therapy, and little games for everyone to play. today it was a challenege : the more bits people donated, the crazier stuff you had to do for them. it was all pretty tame, and the end goal was one you didnt think you'd manage to hit.

never doubt the power of charisma and a pretty face, because after only three hours you manged to reach that two thousand dollar mark, and chat was raving at what you'd have to reveal next : your search history.

ariagatorr : damn this lowkey invasive 💀

devonchcgo22 : and we dont give a fuck

plantsnparsnip : right open that shit up

"i hate yall, do you know that? like genuinely." you groaned, slowly movied your mouse to open your chrome history.

there wasn't much for chat to bully you about thankfully, just some light teasing about how much you use pinterest and asking what it was you bought on etsy. and just when you thought you were done, someone had to open their big damn mouth.

pian0picass0 : wait a minute why did you open ellies stream THREE times ????

chat started moving faster as they read the comment, everyone asking you to open the stream and show them what was going on. sucking your teeth and denying them as you had shown them what they wanted!

after quickly wrapping up the stream and giving your thanks and goodbyes, a portion of viewers went on a manhunt for any ellie who was streaming at the moment.

once clicking on the stream, they found it was just a casual stream with ellie. she was obviously pretty, but was super laid-back in her jeans and converse as she strummed some songs on her guitar.

"oh hey, welcome to the stream i guess. any requests? i was gonna practice some radiohead because my friend asked for it."

pian0picass0 : hey ellie! do you know who (y/u) is by any chance?

"'sup casso. uhhhh no i dont think i do. did she send yall over here? maybe ill check her channel out."

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case three : the enhanced dm's

"everybody shut the fuck up and lets start this stupid thing."

this was it, one of your biggest streams of the year. and also the most fun. and most aggravating.

the gist was simple. you and 5 other streamers were thrown into a discord call and whoever lasted the longest through the sleep deprivation and challenges won a heap of cash.

what the hell was it with you getting screwed over by challenges?

it didn't seem that bad. the host, a close friend of yours, told you to share your screen so everyone could decide something to tweet from your twitter.

now, your friends in the call didn't notice what was on your screen when you shared it, and if they did they didn't say anything. but never doubt the perseverance of your crazy ass viewers, because one took the liberty to see exactly what you were saying in that split second they could see your dm's, because they swore they knew that profile picture...

abby : don't worry you'll do fine

abby : you're not gonna get embarrassed by any of the challenges

abby : i hope

y/n : seriously

abby : come onn you know i'm rooting for you <3

y/n : aww thanks bee

abby : yup. for the whole event i'm gonna be your personal cheerleader ^3^

y/n : oooo you gonna put on a uniform for me?

abby : don't push it.

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case four : the voice chat slip up

at this point, there was no point in acting like you didn't know the two streamers.

the first was abby. mostly posted fitness, health, and lifestyle videos on youtube, but would occasionally go live on twitch to talk with her fans or stream herself working out at the gym.

(you may or may not have admitted live that you found her by watching a few of her workout streams. whoops.)

and then there was ellie, a gaming streamer who was known for being chill and quiet when playing music but as loud as a plane engine when playing cs:go. don't even get her started on cod.

but luckily you'd manage to convince her to play some games with you on your latest stream! some stardew, maybe some overcooked. even if she kept burning all of the damn food.

leave it to ellie williams to always surprise you, though.

when you hear the du-dum of the discord join noise, your face lights up and your mouth opens to greet ellie before she beats you to it.

"ok, babe, which game we playin first?"

to make a long story shot, your chat went ballistic and you gave a stern talking to the red head after the stream ended.

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case five : the instagram post

most of the time you leave most of your notifications off to avoid your phone sounding like a constant alarm. but you're guessing your recent endeavor of babysitting your cute but horrifically grabby nephew screwed you over, because before you know it the sound of dozens on instagram notifications are waking you up and pushing your bonnet from where it slipped down your eyes before unlocking your phone.

at first it seems like a normal picture abby posted, standing in front of a mirror in her living room , flexing her arm and covered in a thin sheen of sweat after an apparent workout session. ever the show off.

but when you zoomed into a blip of color in the background, your eyes almost pop out of your head when you see it.

its you and ellie, you sitting in her lap while she showed you some stupid meme on her phone she said reminded her of you.

the post was only thirty minutes old but already had a few thousand comments, the previes of 'OMG?????' and "no fucking way" giving you a hint to what people were thinking.

you turned off your phone, tossed it back on the nightstand and went back to sleep.

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case six : the joint stream

y/nsstan69 : not an unscheduled stream ??? is it judgement day ???

onlycuntz : "ft surprise guest" girl we aren't stupid

you had to hide the smile from appearing on your face as you read through the comments of your chat. you knew some of them were probably smart enough to know what was going on. the three of you hadn't really been discrete in the days following abby's slip up post, and viewers jumped at the chance to point you out in the background of some of her workout videos. and to point out how you were staring at her.

assholes.

so, here you sat in the comfort of your cute gaming chair ready to tell chat the big news with your special guest.

"so, i bet some of you are wondering why im streaming off schedule, but i had something big in my personal life that i wanted to tell you guys! in a few minutes my gest should be here..."

your voice trailed off as you kept your eye on chat, seeing a bunch of comments that you werent expecting from this big announcement.

motionpickers : lmaooooo are they serious

lululemonsz : she's gonna be so pissed

you begin to turn around in your chair when two pairs of lips press a kiss to each of your cheeks.

"you guys are so unserious."

"and you are so bad at hiding things." ellie pulls up and extra chair and rolls it up to yours so her knees touch yours. she tugs your hand into hers to sit on her lap, ignoring when you pinch her with your nails.

"ignore her. we could tell what you were doing and figured we should all do it together," abby is on your other side, resting her hip on the arm of your chair. "so, go ahead. it's pretty obvious already."

"wow, thanks for the support you guys."

"anytime, hun."

uhuhstasia : i literally cant tell whos luckier

niatargaryen : IS ANYBODY ELSE FREAKNG OUT

ilovestardewmc1237 : is it appropiate to say i called this

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson fluff #abby x reader x ellie #ellie x reader x abby #abby #ellie #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #tlou #tlou 2 #tlou x reader #fem reader #streamer reader

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seeingivy · 1 year

Text

befriend your landlord

roommate eren x f!reader

you and eren reconcile after meeting your eccentric landlord

**find the series masterlist here

content: drinking, certified nut job landlord kenny ackerman, mentions of thanksgiving and fascism, mentions of a little meow meow

an: I do not subscribe to canon lonely levi he actually just has a very alive mother and a weirdo freak uncle bc I said so. buckle in girlfriends!!! (and boyfriends and all the friends) also this chapter is based on a very real thing that happened to one of my friends in college I just think its funny...also ive evolved from calling this a mini-series cuz I plotted way too much and now cuz we gotta build the trust yk they are VERY MUCH IDIOTS IN LOVE

previous part linked here

“So we can’t drive because…”

“He likes to drink. Like, an insane amount.”

“What does that have to do with us?”

You and Eren were currently swinging your feet on the green bench, the train station bustling in front of you. The two of you were riding into the city to meet with your landlord today. Kenny Ackerman. You were officially being added to the lease. But apparently, it was a bigger ordeal than just signing the papers.

You’d thought against it originally. Signing a very legal, very binding agreement to live with Eren, to stay with him for the foreseeable future. It didn’t seem like the best idea, given how the two of you were as of late. Awkward, distant, aimless.

If you had things your way, you would have been moving out, you would have never even been his roommate in the first place. You had even tried apartment hunting again, just to get away from Eren. For good.

The second you tried, you immediately remembered the reason you had to live with Eren in the first place. The options were hardly to die over. Hole in the wall, bathtub for a bed, your old physics professor.

You were stuck with Eren, whether you liked it or not. And that meant you had to go, convince Kenny Ackerman you were ‘worthy of living in the apartment’ (Eren’s words, not yours), and then sign the lease.

Eren had been coaching you for a better part of the morning, this conversation being the longest the two of you had talked in the past few weeks.

Some part of talking to him was becoming easier. The two of you weren’t exactly having the conversations you had before, but it was civil. Nice even. It was the only reason you were able to stomach this entire thing.

“I would never drive you home drunk, Y/N.”

“I could have driven us home.”

“Trust me. He can be very convincing.”

Eren had been coaching you on everything you needed to know about Kenny. Don’t call him Mr. Ackerman, he will hate you. If Kuchel, his sister, is there then make sure that you call her Mrs. Ackerman. Don’t call her Kuchel until she tells you to call her Kuchel. The sooner she says that, the better. Make sure to drink anything he offers you, the pink lemonade smells bad but it’s not too horrible. If his nephew is there, don’t make eye contact unless he makes it with you first.

He was somehow more nervous introducing you to his landlord (and his landlord’s family??) than introducing you to his own parents. Granted, they kind of put a pin in that entire thing, but he seemed way more at ease then than he did right now.

You can see the timer on the screen, signaling that the next train would be here in less than a minute. You nudge his shoulder and the two of you jump off the bench, hesitantly linking arms as you push through the crowd in front of you.

The second the doors slide open, everyone pushes forward, very quickly sliding into every available seat on the train. This left you and Eren to share a single pole to hold onto as the train started moving. You secure your knuckles right under his, the two of you standing in silence, less than a foot away from each other. He leans down, his face even closer than it was before and he whispers into your ear.

“Brace your feet.”

“I know how to stand on a train, Eren.”

He doesn’t respond right away and you turn to find him looking down at the ground, avoiding meeting your gaze. You were just kidding. But then again, you did yell at him last week, so how is he supposed to know the difference?

“Six stops. Then we’ll get off.”

You nod, bracing your feet against the ground as the train starts moving. The train is stuffy, warm, and way over capacity. You can smell the girl standing directly next to you’s perfume, the prune smell so strong it was making your head spin. But worse than the smell was the heat, the congregation of people making the air congested, your hair sticking to the back of your neck from the sweat.

The two of you are pressed against each other, standing awkwardly. In silence. You did that a lot lately. This thing between the two of you was…delicate. You’re not sure what it is but the usual comfort, ease that you and Eren had was all but eliminated, left with this quietness. If you made a joke, it was lost to him entirely. If he said something that caught you off guard, you usually avoided responding by leaving the room. You had shouted at him and he made fun of you, so that didn’t leave much room for comfort.

The train quickly lurches, slowing down all of a sudden. You quickly lose your footing, stumbling in the air as the train stops completely. Before you can fall, Eren secures his hand against your waist, stabilizing you in the air as the train comes to a full stop. You watch a few people get off the train and switch with those getting on, your breath still shaky from losing your balance.

You feel him lean down, his head directly next to yours as he whispers in your ear, again. His hand is still secured around your waist, holding you steady. Even though the train wasn’t moving.

“So when I said brace your feet, I basically meant-”

“Shut up, Eren.”

“We should get a leash for the ride back. Lock you up real nice so you won’t move.”

“Perfect! We can use after too, when I have to drag your drunk ass home.”

The two of you are laughing, readjusting yourself against the pole as the train starts again. His hands are still holding you steady and you can feel your cheeks flushing pink. From the heat. Obviously.

There’s always moments like this - ones where it feels like nothing’s changed at all. You try not to think too hard about them. They’ve always gotten you in trouble.

He tightens his grip on your waist every time the train lurches and stops, for all five of the stops. You avoid the pounding in your chest, which only stops when you both hop off the train at the end of the line.

As you wait for Eren to pay for the return tickets, you spot a tiny black kitten, just at the end of the sidewalk. You immediately run down, nuzzling the tiny little cat as you pet it. As you breathe in the air, you immediately sneeze twice, your eyes watery from the sensation. You immediately hear the sound of a camera clicking, to find Eren standing over you, his phone in hand.

“What was that for?”

“Two kitties!”

“Ew.”

He holds his hand out, pulling you up as the two of you walk down the block to Kenny’s apartment. Your hands are at your side, lightly brushing against Eren’s every time he leans over, making room for the other people on the sidewalk. The sun is setting on top of the buildings, the air slightly chilled. The two of you stop, standing directly on Kenny’s porch. He glances over, giving you one last look.

“Why are you so nervous, Eren?”

“He can be really weird. And he’s going to grill you. Just- we have to bear with him to keep the rent the way it is and live together so, just don’t blow it, okay?”

“I really appreciate your vote of confidence, Eren. Your faith in me is rejuvenating”

“That’s- shut up, you know that’s not what I meant.”

The two of you give each other a smile, as Eren turns to the side and knocks on the door.

“Why didn’t you ring the doorbell?” you whisper.

“His doorbell is La Cucaracha.” he responds.

The door swings open and you’re greeted with three faces staring down at you - identical sets of jet black hair and gray eyes glistening in the lamplight of the street. At the sight of you, their faces all visibly droop, as they all welcome you in.

“He looks too young for you, Levi. And he brought a pretty girl.”

“Those are the tenants, Mom. Not Erwin.”

The two of them shuffle down the hall, pushing past into the room.

“Kenny Ackerman. You must be Eren’s new roommate.”

“Yes, that’s me. It’s so nice to meet you.”

You hold your hand out, him nearly jostling your entire body as he shakes your hand. He idles down the hallway to where the other two had gone, leaving you and Eren in the walkway. You whisper to Eren as the two of you hang your coats on the rack.

“They hate me already.”

“That’s not true. Kuchel called you pretty.”

You roll your eyes, the two of you awkwardly shuffling into the living room, where the three of them were sitting across from you. It’s only then that you can get a better look at them and realize that you know one of them. Levi. Your old physics professor. The one who you cried to about not having a roommate that took pity on you and let you sleep in his house.

“Hi Professor Levi. It’s been a while.”

“I see you’ve found a roommate. I can’t believe you found a place to live in one week.”

“I thought you said the two of you had been living together for a few months, Eren.”

“We have, Kenny.”

“Ah, right. I was just looking around at other apartments for the past week just to see if anything popped up on the market. And they didn’t. So I’m here.”

Eren ducks his head down, the expression on his face dark. He whispers into your ear as the three of them start chattering, still discussing Erwin.

“What? You want to move out?”

“No, no. I was just looking. It must be awkward for you to live with a girl who isn’t your girlfriend, you know?”

He leans over, his eyes teetering between annoyed and irritated.

“She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”

The doorbell rings, throwing you and Eren out of the conversation you were having. You watch the three of them jump up and rush to the door, fixing their hair and their clothes as they make it to the door. You and Eren stand up, peeking your heads down the hallway as you watch the three of them greet Erwin. Your old political science professor.

First Levi now Erwin too? You can feel your cheeks burning from embarrassment, remembering that you had actually cried to the two of them twice - the first time to Levi when you were jumping houses and he agreed to let you stay with them and a second time when Erwin offered you an extra pillow before you went to sleep.

“Hello. I’m Erwin Smith.”

“Eren Yeager. This is my roommate, Y/N.”

“Ah, Y/N. How are you? You figured out your living situation fast!”

You don’t miss Eren glaring daggers at you out of the corner of your eye as you give Levi and Erwin an awkward smile, shaking your sweaty palms against their hands.

“Okay kid. You and Kuchel should go fix the dinner with Erwin in the kitchen. I have to talk to these two here.”

Why are you and Eren here the first time Levi’s family is meeting his long term boyfriend?

You look over to Eren whose irritation has very quickly been replaced with nervousness. Kenny is staring the two of you down, the two of you squished together on his very tiny couch.

“So. You go to Shiganshina?”

You feel your voice tangle in your throat, suddenly intimidated by Kenny staring you down. You can hear Eren’s voice echoing in your head, his angry look seared in your mind, your voice not coming out. He’s going to grill you. Don’t blow it.

“Yes. She’s an Applied Kinesiology major. She’s very smart.”

You look over, silently thanking the gods that Eren answered for you.

“Can you pay rent?”

“She has been, for the past two months.”

He nods, leaning over the table as he stares you down.

“I’ll give you a situation. Respond accordingly.”

You nod, clenching your hands into little fists against the couch.

“You just got off of work. You’re really tired but you have to stop by the store to get groceries. You’ve purchased them all. What do you do after?”

You look over at Eren, giving him a weary stare. What the fuck kind of question is that? Is there even a right answer to this?

“Well, I would leave the store. And take my cart, if I had one, to my car. I’d probably put my stuff away, return the cart, and then just drive home, put everything in the fridge and the cabinets.”

He nods, taking in your answer as he leans back in his chair. “Do you like Eren?”

“What?”

“As a roommate.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah, he’s great.”

“Why did you start rooming with him?”

You can’t lie. It seems wrong to tell him that your old roommates chose not to room with you for the next year - he was sure to not think you were a good fit if you said that. But if he found out you were lying, it would be even worse.

“Well you see, she-”

“I asked her, Eren.”

You feel him move his knee, pressing his against yours as his fingers curl around your hand. You feel him squeeze your hand twice, his green eyes warm as he looks at you. Right. You can do this.

“I used to live with a few of my friends last year. I didn’t really know, but they had picked other arrangements without telling me, so I was left without a roommate for around a week. Eren was nice enough to offer me the empty spot in his room so I didn’t have to jump around from my friends' places every night.”

He stares the two of you down. You’re rubbing circles into the back of Eren’s hand, the two of you holding your breaths as you wait for his response.

“Sucks. Kids are bitches.”

You both squeeze, trying your best not to smile.

“Yeah.”

“If you kids start dating, you can't be loud at night. You’ll piss off the neighbors. You can sign the lease after dinner. You passed.”

He gets up off the couch, his distinct smoke smell leaving the room with him. You turn to Eren, the two of you smiling at each other as you lift your hands to high five. Eren holds your hand in the air, shaking your hand excitedly.

“You passed, kitty.”

“Where are we right now? Do you smell that? How does it smell like smoke and laundry at the same time? And what the fuck kind of question was that? I thought I was going to vomit. ”

“Weird guy. Nice rent rates, though.”

“And Levi. He’s my physics professor. I literally had a crush on him. And his boyfriend, he was my political science professor too. I even stayed over at their house once. This is about to be super weird.”

“Why did you stay at their house?”

“I didn’t have a place to stay! This was before you offered, when I was jumping houses.”

“Were they loud at night?”

“Ew. Don’t put that thought in my head. I’m going to vomit.”

“Save it for later.”

“As if. I can hold my drink. Trust me.”

You and Eren are seated directly across from Levi and Erwin at the dinner table, Kuchel and Kenny taking the heads of the tables at the ends. A large part of this feels like you and Eren are intruding on a very special moment, but you ignore that and dig into the food.

Right. For some reason, Kenny picked Thanksgiving food for the menu. In the middle of September. Like full on turkey dinner, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce.

“So, do you like Thanksgiving, Kenny?”

“I hate fascism, Y/N. No, I do not like Thanksgiving.”

You look over at Eren, trying your best to contain your laughter, as Kenny goes on, rambling about something you’re not quite sure about. Everything Eren said was slowly starting to fall into place - you really can’t turn down drinks from the guy. He’d already made you try three different drinks he made and you had only been here for an hour. And the pink lemonade was actually disgusting, Eren’s just a liar.

Kuchel turns to the two of you, flashing you both a big smile.

“Say Eren. You never told us you got a pretty girlfriend.”

You and Eren both choke on your food, clearing your throats.

“Ah. I’m not Eren’s girlfriend. We just live together. Friends.”

“Uh huh. Right. What a shame. You two are so sweet together. Sharing your sweet little smiles, playing footsie under the table.”

You immediately drag your foot off of Eren’s under the table, embarrassed that she had caught that. Every time Levi rolled his eyes, Eren tapped your foot to get your attention, the two of you trying not to laugh. It’s not your fault that rolling his eyes is basically like blinking to Levi.

“Ma. Leave them alone, yeah? They’re just kids, they don’t know what they feel.”

“I have to agree with Lee’ here, Mrs. Ackerman. Surely, they just haven’t reached that stage yet.”

“You call Levi Lee’, Erwin? That’s so sweet. Oh you two are just perfect and I-”

The four of you five of you watch Kuchel burst into tears, taking turns pressing kisses to everyone's cheeks at the table. You and Eren included. When she sits down, Eren leans over, whispering in your ear.

“She’s like Annie on hour five of being drunk.”

“More like hour one.”

You both laugh, silently eating your food as you watch them interact with each other again. Some parts of it feel like a reality tv show. Kenny’s is downright ridiculous - he’s been hurling out whatever comes to his mind. He told Eren that he seemed like the type to commit genocide in another life and then told Erwin that he would be a corrupt military man.

Kuchel is sweet. Almost two sweet. She spent a large majority of the night crying, telling baby stories about Levi when he was a kid. You don’t miss the way Levi’s ears turn red when she confesses that Levi used to be scared of the toilet when he was younger.

Best of all are Levi and Erwin. You don’t miss the glances between them - the silent communication they had going on at the table. It’s like the rest of you weren’t even here. That’s where you think Eren got the idea, the tapping on the feet. A signal that you were going to talk laugh about it later.

Eight drinks in and Kenny is blasting music, doing a solo interpretive dance to Etta James. You and Levi are in one corner with Kuchel, Erwin, and Eren in the other.

“I can’t believe this guy is your uncle. Did you ever do a DNA test?”

“Hundreds.”

You turn your neck to find Levi, staring across Erwin on the other side of the room. You follow his gaze, watching Kuchel pinch Eren’s cheeks and Erwin laugh at the two of them.

“What’s your deal?”

“What do you mean?”

“With Eren. You like him right?”

You look down into your cup, the opaque liquid staring back at you. Erwin had made you a fruity drink, to which Kenny responded “everything about this guy is fruity!”

“Yeah.”

“He doesn’t like you back?”

“No.”

“I didn’t like Erwin at first. He was too much - pretentious, arrogant, irrational at times.”

“But?”

“But, he was my best friend. At some point, all the love and admiration I had for him just became something more. Like, yeah, he was my favorite person to be around but then I wanted to be around him all the time. Tell him the good things, the bad things. Share something with him, anything, everything. I…I didn’t hate myself when I was with him.”

You smile, squeezing Levi’s shoulder in your hands.

“That’s sweet, Levi. I’m happy for you.”

He gives you a small smile, turning his neck back to look at them across the hall.

��Be his friend. Maybe he’ll come around.”

Six drinks in and Eren is feeling buzzed. He was trying his best to pace himself, make sure he was sane enough to take you home at the end of the night. He could tell by the glazed look in your eyes that you were getting there, close to being fully plastered.

He turns his neck, scanning for you around the room. You kept disappearing. But there you were, directly across from him, leaning against the wall from Levi. He meets your eyes and you give him a soft smile, accompanied with a tiny wave. His heart’s pounding.

“Do you like her, Eren? Oh please say that you do.”

Kuchel is squeezing his shoulders, her eyes lighting up in excitement.

“Yeah. Maybe a little bit.”

“Oh, oh, oh. You have to tell her. Don’t let her get away now!”

“Ah, I tried. She doesn’t like me.”

He watches her face droop, Erwin shaking his head in the air. Both of their cheeks are flushed pink, the cups they were holding shaking in their hands. Surely the only people who were at least somewhat sober were you and Eren, which was saying a lot.

“You know, Eren. I knew Levi was the one the moment I saw him.”

“Really?”

“I liked him so much, I wanted him around. In whatever sense that means. Even if he only wanted to be my friend.”

“He didn’t want to be with you?”

“Oh no, he loathed me. Like full of hatred.”

“And that didn’t…bother you?”

“Maybe a little bit, but we became friends after that. And I just wanted him around. Whatever way he would have me. Even just being his friend, getting to see him everyday, that was enough for me.”

Eren cranes his neck back over, where Kenny has his arms slung around you and Levi. He’s forcing the two of you to sign with him - Levi looking downright murderous while you flash Kenny a polite smile.

“Just be her friend, Eren. Maybe she’ll come around like Levi did.”

You can’t hold your drink. Obviously. But Eren knew that already. He had been watching you for a better part of the last hour, your inhibitions absent. Erwin had made you yet another fruit themed drink, which you were all too happy to down. The second he saw the glass hit your hand, he’d focused all of his best efforts in trying to sober up, calm the thrill running through his blood.

You had made your way back over to him after some time, the two of you on the couch. You were leaning your head against his shoulder, your breaths heavy and uneven. At the sight of Kenny - who was now singing with Kuchel on the table - you suddenly perk up, your hands pressed against his shoulders as you lean over him.

“Eren.”

“Hm, peaches?”

“I have a plan.” you whisper, your eyes somewhere between delirious and devious.

“Uh huh. What’s that?”

“You and I should sign the lease now. Then mail the letters. That way, we can leave and Kenny can’t get mad because we basically did him a favor. We’ll just tell Levi in case he asks.” you whisper, a smile spreading across your face.

You’re drunk out of your mind. Not that Eren himself isn’t drunk either, he can certainly feel the buzz he was trying to will away living, but he’s not as gone as you.

“Genius idea.”

“I know right!”

He was being sarcastic, but you had already jumped off the couch, to where Levi and Erwin were standing in the corner. He quickly follows, catching up to balance you as you stumble over to where the two of them were standing.

“So. Levi. Right, hi Levi.”

He’s mentally debating if he should stop you. You are very plastered and could potentially say something embarrassing. But there’s something so funny, so endearing about the determined little look on your face that he decides against it, letting you go on.

“You’re a man.”

He watches the confusion spread across Levi’s already strained face, his eyes flitting between you and Eren.

“And you, Erwin, are a man too. You two are men.”

“That’s correct, Y/N. You’re very perceptive.”

Eren tries his best to conceal his laughter, as you go on, talking to the two of them. You’re definitely worse than Annie.

“Marriage. It’s a thing, you know? And a man can do it. And a woman can too. And you are a man and he is a man and you can both do that. And we want to come to that. Like go to there.”

How did you get from talking about the lease to marriage?

“Eren. What is she going on about?”

“We’re going to sign the lease papers and mail them on our way out so we can leave. We have to be up early tomorrow and she literally cannot drink more. We were going to ask if you could let Kenny know tomorrow and tell him to be easy on us.”

“You drive here?”

“No. Train. We’ll be fine to get back, Levi. I got her.”

He nods. Eren doesn’t miss the look Erwin and Levi give each other as the two of you lock hands, tip-toeing into Kenny’s office. Of course Erwin told him.

The two of you quickly rush out, laughing as you run down the block before any of them notice. You slow down as you pass the corner, the two of you strolling the rest of the way down the block back to the train station. He can tell you’re winding down by the way you’re leaning against him, skipping steps.

The train car is empty, this being the last train leaving the station. He settles the two of you into the seats at the front, getting in first.

“Ren. Can I have the window?”

He nods, wordlessly changing seats with you. This seat’s better anyways. You look out the window. And he can look at you.

You lean over, your eyes drooping as you lean over. He’s not sure what it is, maybe Kenny’s rancid tequila is still running through his bloodstream, but he locks his hand with yours, pressing his fingers against the scar in between your knuckles.

“I…miss you, Y/N. Being your friend.”

He watches your expression drop, your eyes fluttering fully open.

“You don’t think we’re friends?”

“No! I mean, yes. I just didn’t realize you thought we were still friends. After everything that happened, the fight we had I just kind of- I don’t know.”

You’re quiet for some time and he can see the gears moving in your head. Your eyes are now pinched shut, your forehead scrunched in concentration. Maybe this was the right time to say this. Hopefully, you don’t even remember tomorrow.

“Are we in second grade, Ren? Do you really not think we’re friends?”

Of course. The words he said to you, the day you were sick.

“We are still friends. I just meant, it was different for the past few days. But today, this was…nice. I enjoyed it.”

You smile in response, the two of you leaning your heads against the back of the seats, the only sound being the whirring of the train behind you.

“Y/N. You wouldn’t really move out, would you?”

“I was hoping you forgot about that. It’s my fault. I kind of…get in my head sometimes, I don’t know.”

“About?”

“I thought you didn’t want me around. So I didn’t want to be around you. I thought you hated me or something.”

“Y/N. Look at me.”

His eyes are dark, the same way as when Levi mentioned you were looking for another roommate.

“I could never hate you.”

“I know, I just meant-”

“No. You clearly don’t know.”

You turn over to find an irritated look plastered on his face, his jaw clenched shut. You press your fingers against his shoulder, squeezing twice to get his attention. He flutters his eyes open, leaning down to look at you.

“You’re special to me. I don’t understand what I did that made you think I would ever make fun of you or hate you. You...piss me off when you say stuff like-”

He’s cut off by you placing your hand on his cheek, your eyes peering into his.

“Sorry, Ren.’

“S’okay. I know why you do it. But just remember, I’m not your stupid old roommates or your lame ex-boyfriend or anyone who ever made you feel that way. You and I are-”

“Friends.”

Not what he quite had in mind, but he’ll take it.

“Yeah. You can tell me anything.”

“Okay. You too.”

He sees you smile, your eyes wafting shut against his shoulders. He can feel the pit in his stomach burning, the exact same way it did every time you did something. When you smiled at him, fixed his hair, got him coffee. God, he still loves you.

“So Ren. Do you want to hang out after recess?”

“Shut up. You’re so corny, kitty.”

“Ew.”

The next morning, Eren makes you breakfast and you sing in the shower. Progress.

next part linked here

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 1 year

Text

I'll crawl home to you II

Previous chapter

a/n I welcome you all to the part two. Thank you so much for all the love and reading. 🤍✨

summary: having a fight with someone you care about right before the mission might be the worst idea ever especially when you don't know if you'll make it out alive.

warning: fighting, guns, past trauma, injuries, blood lots of it, mentions of death, needles, IV's, bruised veins, heavy mention of hospitals, death nr.2, choking, nudity, mentions of sexual intoxications this one packs a punch so be weary.

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"Right, what's on your mind?", you muttered, pushing the cigarette closer to Javi, which he happily took into his fingers before dragging in the smoke. Allowing the warmth of it to go down his lungs. Javi was sitting by the tub in his apartment. The tub that he used as a shower at best. He hated baths, hence his naked, sprawled-out form, right beside the bath and not in it. Not behind you. Even if he wanted nothing more than another handful of moments of holding you. But it was enough to just watch you like this for now. More than enough. Well, Javi was convinced that he was still riding the post-orgasmic high.

"Work", he muttered, dropping his head back before puffing a cloud of smoke, "That fucking lead is on my mind". Your eyes scanned him for a moment. Today had been one of those days where, besides the unbearable heat, so much shit went south that the screaming in the office didn't ease till 3 in the afternoon. A new record of everyone being pissed off at one another was achieved.

"And how many fucks does it usually take you till you forget about work?", you asked, leaning your head at the edge of the bathtub. Not caring about covering yourself up. Javi had already seen everything more than once. Although you are being pressed against his bedroom wall, with him deep within you, growling in your ear as he edged you closer to your orgasm now felt ages ago, your skin was already missing the feeling of his fingers.

"One", Javi muttered, and you couldn't help the chuckle that escaped your lips. "Shit, agent, I'm doing that bad of a job?". Just what Javi truly meant was that it took one carelessness. Chaotic fuck with you. For him to come back to his senses. If he was fucking a random whore, his head wouldn't settle at all. And it's not even about the sex here. Fuck that, even if it's good. It's you. The smell of you. The way you trace your fingers down his back while he's still deep inside you, panting as he catches his breath. It's the way Javi can feel your heartbeat beneath him. The way your warm skin is pressed against his own, and he finally feels it Feels what calmness feels like. What it feels like to stop and just be.

Javi splashes his face with cold water, shoving that moment as deep as he possibly could. Not now. Not like this. His hands are still stained pink. Fuck knew the blood didn't budge like that. But then he had never been covered in so much blood before. Your blood. His body stagers again. The hours spent in the hospital had been brutal. Javi's eyes fall on the bandage covering the place where they had punctured a needle only a couple of hours ago. Had it only been that? A couple of hours? Javi runs his hand through his hair.

"Get a doctor in here! Quick!", A pair of nurses rushed out; Javi jumped up, and Steve was right beside him. You had been in that room for no longer than thirty minutes. It was all okay, they said. Under control. This didn't feel like something that was under control. "What is going on?", Javi's voice sounded weak. Gone were the confidence and snarl. No, Javi doesn't remember the last time he felt so many emotions. He did not know that he was capable of them.

"What the fuck? Is. Going. On. ", Javi swiftly yanked a nurse rushing to go back inside by the collar. Steve moved to step in, but at that moment, even he knew that interfering meant finding your head in the wall in the next ten seconds. "She's rapidly losing blood and the hospital…", the woman took a moment to swallow, and Javi quickly shook her, "Our blood supplies are low, sir".

And just like the moment the bullet pierced your skin, Javi's world stopped spinning. Halted. Shutting down all of his senses before he's thrown back into the waiting room once more. No. This can't be the reason you die. Fuck all of it. He'll pay for every drop of blood. He'll get you the blood himself if he had to. Get you… "It's the same…", Javi gripped the nurse's hand even tighter, "Tell them it's the same. Put me in there".

And that whole procedure was a blur. Until you're only a hand's reach away. The machines were clacking all around. The number of wires and tubes sticking out of your body was crippling to the core, and the first time Javi's eye landed on you, he had to fight the bile rising in his throat. Then the shock faded, and the need to protect you rose. To hold you. The machine that Javi too was hooked to started beeping, indicating the rapid increase of his heartbeat. His head jerked up; suddenly he was scared it would disturb you too much. But your eyes don't shoot open, and you weren't grumbling at him for being too noisy, like some mornings.

Javi clenches his jaw. Tears now once again threatened to spill over his cheeks. And they do. But Javi doesn't brush them away. Who cares. No one is here. Just you. He can be venerable in front of you. "You will wake up, right?", he muttered, his hands reaching out to touch your limp fingers. The angle was awkward. And the nurse had strictly informed Javi not to move his hand too much. But fuck that. Fuck rules. Were they getting you both anyway? So Javi laces his fingers through yours, "You will wake up and snarl at me, will you? For being an ass", Javi bites down on his lips, suppressing the sob that is now right there at the peak of his throat, "And yet I won't tell you; I told you so this time. You just woke up, okay?"

Javi rips the bandage off, right as another wave of tears blurs his vision. The vein raptured, and the purple bruise was already forming. But he didn't care; he couldn't bring himself to care. It had been static nothingness after they walked him out of the room. Out and away from you. Javi clenches the sink angrily. The old thing rattles beneath his grip. He should have pushed harder. He should have never walked out because his stupid, manly pride was hurt. And he knows that if you don't… No, Javi chases that thought away. We manifest our thoughts. His pope always said to him growing up, Be careful of what you think, Javier.

"I was a pinch away from blowing his balls right there and then", the back door shuts with a bang as you stride towards Javi, who had been leaning against the wall for the past ten minutes. "Did you pull your gun?", Javi asks casually, as if that were a normal procedure for a Thursday night. "Pulled? It was up his nutsack," Javi snickers. Poor fuck crapped his pants for sure. Now he's almost upset that he didn't stick around to see that.

"What are you smiling for?", you snicker angrily, snatching a lighter from Javi's back pocket. Your left hand is shaking. With a mix of anger and strength, you probably held your gun. Javi takes the lighter back. The last thing he needs is for you to burn your hand now. "You amuse me", he admits when the cigarette finally catches the heat.

"Don't fuck with me, Pena. I might just pull the same stunt on you", you warn him, now feeling the shaking seep into your whole body. No matter how many times you went through the waves of adrenaline. The aftermath was never pretty. Javi pushes his cigarette against the brick wall and says, "Come here", You don't move, but his hand laces behind your neck, bringing your body closer to his chest. You don't fight it.

Letting the warmth of him envelop you. Your free hand clenches his shirt. It's such a small gesture. Simple one too. But it's all that you need. All it takes is for your body to budge, and you're not shaking anymore. It's like Javi just soaked up all of that bubbling within you in seconds: "Next time you pull a gun at any of them, keep me around", and Javi can hear your muffled laugh against his chest. And he's smiling. Truly smiling with you pressed tightly to his chest.

"The nurse said she'd be transferred soon", Javi nearly jumps at the sound of Steve's voice, which snatches him out of his head. Javi lost track of how many times he had told Steve to go home. Everyone did. Everyone left. Not that many stuck around for the hospital run in general. But Steve didn't budge. He was there. He stuck to very few or none of the comforting words. Connie hadn't even managed to drag him home. A part of Javi wanted to shove Steve out the door, but then again, he was glad that he wasn't alone.

"You know what that means?", Steve speaks up again. Pulling the neatly wrapped-up sandwich from behind his back, "I think it's time you eat just how you were instructed to". Javi glares at him before turning his attention back to the door. The door that leads to the room they were keeping you in: How were you doing? Did your body push through the transfer? Had they checked that you were stable? Double checked? Did triple-check?

"Come on, Javi, you don't want her…", Steve tries again. His voice is gentle and soft, and Javi hates it. His hands banged on the plastic chairs, sending a sharp sound down the empty hallway. "Stop fucking talking, Steve", Javi snarls; now his glare is all for his partner. "Shut up…", though the last words didn't sound even half as convincing. And Steve catches the crack. He catches sight of every tiny piece finally falling apart.

So Steve brings Javi closer into an embrace, and Javi is quick to push back instantly. Steve just doesn't let go. He's keeping Javi in a tight grip until the agent stops the fight; his shoulder's sagging and only the uneven breathing gives him away. "She will pull through", Steve states quickly, trying to keep his own emotions at bay. "You want to know why?", Javi only grips the back of Steve's jacket tighter: "Because she would crawl from hell itself for you. Because she loves you and she hasn't told you yet, and we both know our tiny girl is a farce".

And then he's back in your apartment. And he's walking back to you after using the bathroom when his eyes catch a glimpse of the picture. Multiple. But all of them have the same boy in them. Big eyes. Curly hair. And he's so similar to you. It's almost disturbing. Javi had seriously considered that you had a child there and then, and he knows it is noisy, but he snatches one of the frames as he heads back to the living room.

You're sprawled out like a cat on your sofa. Soft music is playing. Dirty dinner plates are still on the table. You're humming under your breath. Fuck, Javi doesn't remember the last time he heard someone hum, and a part of him wanted to keep that moment just like that. A part of him had shouted at him not to say anything, but… "Who's this?", the words slip past his lips, and your head instantly turns towards him. And he should have listened to his gut because the lazy smile fell from your face and you suddenly looked so small. So fragile.

"Michael", you mutter as you step closer to Javi, taking the frame from his hand, fingers skimming over the image frozen in time, "My brother. The only couple pictures I have left". The frown suggests that it's something that still hunts you. That still aches. "You don't see your family much?", Javi asks as if he can judge, as if he flies back home often or even calls. Yeah, no. Javi avoids home like the plague, and then the said home returns the favor. "Nothing to visit", the sad chuckle that follows your words strikes Javi.

"I'm…", he starts, but you had already turned towards him. "Sorry? You pity me. You're surprised I'm still here? Or maybe you're disappointed?". Javi crosses the distance between you and quickly catches both of your elbows. "No…", his words die down, and you're laughing again, just this time your eyes are full of tears. You sure?", you say bitterly before dropping your hands over your face, salty tears still streaming down the side of your face.

"Y/n… carino…", And Javi doesn't remember the last time he called out to someone in such a soft manner. He doesn't remember the last time his own heart dropped to his heels for someone. And you're crying, and Javi can't stand it. Because you shouldn't be, because instantly he wants to make it better. "Hey, come here; you're not alone. Shh…" And equally as much, Javi almost doesn't know how to comfort you because Javi never does that. It's always others who do the comforting, who splatter encouraging words.

"But I am. I'm so alone", The sob that slips past your lips makes Javi close his eyes for a moment because the shared agony of it rips through his own heart. Javi wraps his arms tighter around you, fingers running through your hair as you wrap yourself around his neck. Holding onto him as if your whole world now depends upon him. If Javi chose to move, you would crumble. Crumble beyond repair. "You have me", he mutters, but then the anxiety of commitment kicks in and he finds himself adding, "And Steve, and Connie", he doesn't mention Carillo. At first, he's not sure why his tongue doesn't twist to say it, but does it matter? It would be for selfish reasons one way or another.

"They killed them", you rasp out in between catching your breath. Javi pushes away the strands of hair that are now stuck to your face because of the tears. "Dad fucked up a deal, so they came to butcher them all in front of my eyes", you continue, looking up at Javi with desperation. Did no one believe you when you told them what happened? Did anyone ever listen? "I hid in the closet and then…", another sob slips past your lips. "I just saw him, purple face, big eyes, they choked…", and you crumble, legs bucking beneath you, but Javi is there with you. Bringing you even closer as he sways from side to side. Your nails are digging into his flesh, but he doesn't care. Whatever he can do to ground you and calm you down, Javi is willing to do it. "I've got you, carino", he mutters, pressing his lips to your temple, trying to keep his composure, to keep strong because now you need him. And he'll crawl out of his own grave if he had to, just to make sure that you are okay.

"Sir", the voice that doesn't fit the memory cuts through his head. "Sir", it rings, and Javi snaps his eyes open. An elderly woman is standing in front of him, her hand braced on his shoulder, as she attempts to wake him. "It's past 3 a.m., and the visiting hours are long over", she starts, and Javi is once again filled with rage. Try, he thinks, you just try to walk me out. "They transformed her into room 337; I can let you in. You can rest there", Javi blinks a couple of times, convinced that he had heard it wrong. It's against the hospital rules, and the confusion on his face tells the lady that he's trying to find a catch for this.

"Is your name by any chance Javi?", she asks right as Javi stands up. How does she know? He had said his name when he handed you to the sea of doctors and nurses. They had marked his name for the blood transfer, but he hadn't seen this woman in any of the rooms. "Miss. Y/L/N had called out for Javi a couple of times", and he has to both keep himself up so he doesn't sink to his knees and stop himself from running down the hallway. Are you awake? Have you been fully conscious? Why were you calling for him? Is it because you hate him? Or do you want him to be there?

"She's stable; however, with a blood loss like that, I'm sure she will be out for a couple of days", the lady says, and Javi only nods. He probably looks like a maniac there. He is barely managing to stay still, trying not to overstep as he constantly slows his pace to match the nurses.

She walks straight through the door, but Javi halts. You're a door away. You're there, and he will get to see you. But can he see you? Will he be able to look at you without hating the whole world? And most importantly, himself? Yet he does, and you are in there. Still pale as a sheet of paper, but it's only the wires and IVs that surround you. Someone had neatly brushed your hair, and it's not an absolute tangled mess like it was in the emergency room. No, it almost looks like you're lying in… Javi closes his eyes.

"You can talk to her. She should be able to hear you. It'll calm her anxiety and give her something to hold onto", the woman either doesn't notice that Javi is slowly losing it or is great at hiding it as she checks over the machines before turning back to him. "Just catch some sleep yourself, son", she says softly, patting his shoulder just like she did in the hallway. "The emergency button is here, but her heartbeat is strong and steady. I doubt you'll need to use it", that soothes some of Javi's worries, but there are so many of them that it almost feels like nothing. Javi keeps standing till the nurse slips out the door, and then he reaches for the chair, pulling it closer to your bed.

"Hey", Javi mutters, his fingers carefully brushing over your hand. There are so many needles and things poking you that he's almost hesitant to do so. So scared of hurting you more. Making it worse than it already is. Javi let his eyes settle on your face, then down to your chest, watching it move up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Steady. He brings your knuckles closer to his lips. There's still blood under your nails, but he doesn't care. "I miss you already", Javi admits, waiting for an answer he knows he won't get. He nestles his head on your legs, takes your hand into his, and just hopes.

#javi pena x reader #javier pena x reader #javi pena x you #javier pena x you #javier pena imagine #narcos imagine #narcos x reader #narcos x you #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you

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sukioyakio · 1 month

Text

‘ɪᴅɪᴏᴛ’

paring: Gojo x femreader

an: this one is a short one,but I hope y’all like it.And pls forgive me for the grammar mistakes.This is just a thought I have. Wordcount: 879

You have never thought that you’ll will end up with him.The one that you despise when you first started jujitsu kaisen,you hated how carefree he was,you hated the way he smiled so much,you hated how he didn’t care about anyone opinion,you hated those godly beautiful sky blue eyes,you hated how he was touchy,you hated that he would put himself on the line for others,and you hated that he hadn’t changed that much even after all these years,making jokes,laughing around,Being a menace to the higher up.

But now it seems that the hatred you felt towards him only grew into something you didn’t think you had for him.You actually fell in love with him.And then one mission is all it took for him to confess to you,and for you to be the biggest embarrassment and saying yes.

Now your Gojo Satoru girlfriend,and also a teacher who takes and loves your job seriously.If your students were to describe you and his relationship together it was rather chaotic but funny to watch you guys,since your the complete opposite of him. Your uptight,serious,quiet,sarcastic at times,never smiles at all,But calm and gentle with others;has a honest heart,never makes your students go into danger/dangerous situations alone.Is never carefree with stuff and your students know that yet love how calm you are. While Gojo is the total opposite of that he is friendly,unserious about stuff,Talk-ive,make a few sarcastic comments about his students,Smiles a lot,is very active,but cares for his students,Has a unfliter attitude,And a good heart.Has a great sense of humor. He does put his students in dangerous situations to watch them (yea sure).He carefree about his job and doesn’t care.

You heard one of your students say,’I guess opposite really do attract’ and it made your heart warm at the fact.

And the difference between you two is a lot.But Hey you both love each other in your way.And So today was a day you both had a day off. So what you both did was just Sit down on your boyfriend large couch and watch movie together for a while.

You boyfriend being his clingy self is laying down his head on your laps as he wrapped around his arms your thighs like a baby,which it doesn’t bother you anymore but it would in the early stages.

you silently shift your seat.Your hand were already on his white angle like locks,smoothing his locks, scratching his scalp softly and gently. Your eyes watching whatever movie Gojo had pick on,you thought he was asleep until whatever actor that was on made a little joke cause him to snicker at that.

You aren’t the one to tell him affections words towards Gojo,your the type that show actions are more powerful than words.

But as of lately,your haven’t been on top of it since you been called constantly by the higher up to go on multiple missions.

The silence wrap around you like a warm blanket yet hanging suspension.

“You know..-“You spoke quietly and as you see him turn his head back to see your face.Your expression holding on a serious look.

You breathe in and out before continuing your words.

-I'll always. .. love you, right?" You say with content and passion,your voice coming a bit low then you originally expected. Gojo was now leaning up from your laps,with a huge smile on his soft pinks lips. Now sitting down next to you,with his face closed up to you,your cheeks began to roll in a red blush as you try to keep it together. Even all this time your still shy and quiet as you hear Gojo laugh rambling out of his mouth as he hugs you deeply making you unbalanced on your position causing you to fall onto the couch with his body weight trapping you in his embrace.

"I don't blame you. I'm pretty spectacular." He says with his ironic cocky voice,As he intoxicated blue eyes stare into your eyes,with that handsome smirk on his lips.He was really god favorite.

It took you a minute before you realize what he said,making you grumble. “urgh,I was seriously about what I said Gojo” You said with a moody pout. As you roll your eyes from remembering his cocky voice.

“I meant what I said Baby,You have a spectacular guy right in front of you;Loving the sight he looking at,the way you are so gently yet so commanding in a good type of way,the way you worry about me when I do mission is adorable,I love that when your flustered you start to hide your red face from me.” He spoke in a dreamy voice lanced with seriousness,As his eyes stares down slightly at your lips then at your eyes.

You gulped down,as your face felt warm and hot.You were gonna cover your face with your hand but he stop you from doing that as he leaned against your forehead and whisper with a soft chuckle.

“did I say I love you,because I do” he says with a smile as you lips slightly turn up from his own smile.As he kiss you passionately as you let him lead the way.

Your face is red completely,but you whisper against his lips. “idiot”

And he smirk off before smashing his lips against your and making you completely forgot about the movie.

This was not pro-read by me,but pls check out on ‘Use me then’

I hope y’all have a wonderful day and weekend.

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo saturo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jujutsu gojo #jjk gojo

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mamadarama · 4 months

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spoilers for the matrix event kind of ?

so i read the translation today of the whole event and it's just unbelievably bad , I'm not sure if you had a chance to look through . and takashi who's basically a little hiiro but actually he's a child of producer rinne once had with god knows if their father or just someone from amagi family ? it feels like a really bad fanservice and I'd like to hear you thoughts if you read this . it's okay if no and you can't really comment on that but i couldn't keep silent so forgive my off topic ramble .

i hope you will have a good day or night

{major matrix spoilers}

i just read the story myself. its alright, not much worse than any of the others, just hard to follow because its all rinne being rinne. its not really that fanservicy imo, i thought id hate it more than i do . my biggest gripe is akiras choice of dialogue for aira . again. i really wish he would stop doing that but thats besides the point.

edit: i also wanted to add that the part where tatsumi and mayoi are worried about hiiro and aira and theyre like "theyll be fine theyre strong capable people" and it immediately cuts to aira screaming bloody murder absolutely sent me

heres a summary of the story from what ive gathered . this is a long one so ill put it under a read more

rinne set up an elaborate scheme to protect the privacy of his hometown. when rinne first went to the city he saw an unnamed idol that inspired him to become one himself. that idol retired and became a teacher at an all girls school (i wanna bet its kimisaki academy. thats unimportant to the story tho.), and his producer , akan, was left struggling until she met rinne and began producing him. unfortunately the job became too much for her and she began to crack under the pressure, and had to retire for her own health. rinne told her about his hometown, where she would be able to live out the rest of her life in peace. to ensure no one would go looking for her , they set up a plan— they pitched a fake mystery program where she would go investigate a phenomenon in the area of the village, and "disappear mysteriously". the footage would never be released because of the "incident", and as long as they didnt find her she would be declared dead after being missing for long enough, therefore closing the resulting missing person case and leaving her to be unbothered and truly leave her past behind and start over. while she was living in the village she met rinnes father, and they eventually got married and had a kid, takashi (its never mentioned that hes their kid, but rinne says his father wishes he could make takashi his heir instead of rinne, implying hes his son) . he looks like hiiro because the amagi family has strong genes (and also likely because the devs could repurpose kid hiiros live2d model). rinne noticed his fans were getting increasingly curious about his hometown and worried that the extra attention would eventually cause trouble for the people in his village, and by extension disrupt the peaceful life akan had built there. his solution was to "reveal" his hometown in a tv program and satisfy his fans curiosity so theyd drop the subject. but he couldnt just make a program for no reason, so he pitched the matrix event , part of which would be hosted at the "amagis village". he didnt want it to be a large scale event, so he contacted the retired idol akan used to produce and asked him to pose as akan to produce the event since he was the only other person to have known her well enough to impersonate her and capitalizing on the fact that no one remembered who akan is or what she looked like. anzu ended up getting involved and as a result it turned into a much bigger event than rinne intended for it to be . the "village" that the event was hosted in was actually the contact point for the actual village, a place that looked convincing enough but was really just used as a meeting point for the village to import resources from the city without exposing their real location. but of course in typical rinne fashion, he only reveals this to the rest of alkakurei at the very end, so everyone was just very confused the whole time. rinne also claims takashi is his and anzus kid at first, but no one believes him of course because that makes no sense.

tldr; rinne is worried that his fans are getting too curious about his hometown and might eventually lead to it being exposed, so he stages a fake reveal to satisfy his fans curiosity.

-----

i sorta like it. its not completely outlandish by enstars standards and it ties up a few loose ends about rinnes backstory (like what happened to his career as a solo idol before his duo unit with niki, why he became an idol, and who produced him before he met anzu) as well as further solidifying his character as someone who genuinely cares about the well being of others and will fight to protect them by any means necessary even if theyre not part of his life anymore .

#ask #anon #whiteboard #?

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raincamp · 11 months

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11 03 2023

discovering that i experience pathological demand avoidance / pervasive drive for autonomy (PDA) as a symptom of my autism has been fucking life changing.

i spent all these fucking years feeling so helpless, my parents telling me that im lazy, feeling like a failure because i couldnt even graduate highschool. i didnt understand how everyone else could just sit back and waste their entire lives at the demand of someone else. how they could work 40+ hours a week and not come home so exhausted that they can't even find time to take care of themselves.

i couldn't find a justifiable reason why i was physically unable to do what everyone else has been able to "just suck it up" and suffer through. working full time, being at school full time, it was all enough to make me lose sight of why i was even alive. enough to make me have mental crises. enough that i ended up in the hospital several times.

but idk, im fine when i have control over my schedule. i was thriving during COVID when school was no longer a thing i was forced to do, but something i got to choose to do. nobody was making me sit in a building for 6 hours bored out of my mind. i got autonomy over my schedule, over my life, and i genuinely haven't been able to recreate the feeling of freedom it gave me since.

and when i was forced to go to school again, despite how easy it was, despite the fact that i barely had to do anything, the mere idea of having to sit in a classroom against my will made me burn with such rage that i made it so that i had autonomy over it. i would only come to classes i wanted to go to, which meant going to school three hours late and walking out when the class was over.

now obviously thats not how highschool works so i had to drop out. after a lovely (/s) visit to the psych ward my parents stopped giving a fuck. but then it was my choice to get a diploma/GED which i had zero problem doing, i was happy to do it even. why didnt i just sit through the last 6 months of school instead? idk, to me it felt like fucking torture.

i still feel that way, working full time. working part time even. i hate it because i want nothing more than to enjoy having a career like everyone else can. to be able to have a life outside of work, a fulfilling one even. ive never been able to do that. and it saddens me. why is it that everyone around me can find happiness in working their entire lives away but not me? why do i come home everyday wanting to die? why am i the only one who sees it as an injustice that my entire life is going to be spent at the whims of someone else's demands?

i burn with helplessness and anger and pain at the mere thought. but still i suffer through as many months as i can handle at jobs until i have enough money to last me a couple months of freedom. even though i have to sacrifice my mental stability for it. even though it means hospital visits and alcohol dependency and suicide attempts.

a perfect life for me doesn't include not working though, not working feels unfulfilling, i want to make a living for myself. i want to be financially independent. i dont even mind working 8 hours a day if i got to choose my schedule. if i could wake up one day and say "nah ill wait till 2 pm to start work today" or could start work at 7 am when i wanted, take as many days off as i wanted, which honestly wouldn't be a whole lot because i find value in productivity.

its the fact that i have to follow the demands of someone else that sucks the life out of me.

and now that i have this knowledge i can learn how to use it to accommodate my struggles instead of feeling like a fuck up

- andrew

#pda #tumblr diary #im not mentally stable #mental health awareness #capitalism #pathological demand avoidance #pervasive drive for autonomy #highschool dropout #autism #actually autistic

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airbrushfather · 9 months

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@paz-45 asked so here are my 5 ee tattoos lmao (warning for me just rambling absolute shit under the cut)

my first ever tattoo - jon's handwriting and a wild wave because i love violent sun so much. looking back the handwriting tattoo isn't something i'd do today but it's what got me started on getting tats at all and i had a very positive experience (both w getting it and w asking jon for the writing lmao)

the teeth are not related, for the record. writing is about 6 months healed in this pic and almost 18 months healed now. also i know no one asked but since i love talking about tattoos - this is on the outside of my forearm and the pain was about a 3/10. super easy placement if you want somewhere to put a first tattoo that won't kill you off immediately.

classic lil gth hand. i always forget i have this because it's on the back of my arm (hence the bad photo too, say hello to my ear) but i do rlly love it, my artist did a very good job. it's about 5 months healed in this pic and just under 18 months healed now. this is on the back of my upper arm, the pain was probably a 4/10. a little spicy towards the inside but nowhere near the worst, certainly less painful than the inside of the bicep for instance. i also never find colour that bad (lines are worse imo) but i know some people do, so i guess if you came to this post looking for genuine tattoo advice, take that into consideration

these eyes are, technically, ee related - and please excuse this horrible photo, they're really hard to get a pic of! but me and my artist designed them together based on put me together's bridge - 'is it the darkest night/or is that dawn in your eyes?' it's a very important song to me and i love these tattoos, especially the dawn one with all the little details. it actually looks a little better now it's healed, it's settled into itself a lot more. they're super fresh in this pic (less than a month each, i got them within about a week of each other) and about a year healed now

pain wise this is a rough placement. the bottom one especially was one of my most painful tattoos - probably an 8/10. it proved i could never tattoo my actual knee because i genuinely had a terrible time of it. though weirdly the top one was really easy, probably a 6/10

i find this one incredibly hard to photograph bc of the way it wraps but my favourite line from final form (i stole the idea from someone in atb but it's one of my favourite sentiments, as in, this is my first body so i will make mistakes, and it is my last body so i will look after it). i broke one of my only tattoo rules for this too, which was No Words. i doubt i'll get any more words after this bc i don't think they'd really fit very well w the rest of mine, but i thought this was a really nice way to cuff my patchwork arm.

it's about 6 months healed in this video (from today). pain was probably another 8/10, wrist is a very spicy placement but not the worst one by any stretch. the outside (first body) was easier than the inside (last body) and it was definitely tolerable, tbh it was almost more annoying to heal than it was to get

i do have plans for more ee related tattoos (i want to get one from each album, so i have arc and rdf left to conquer) but atm i can't get anything because i have serious trust issies w new tattooists (and i love my artists who i know already) and my shop is currently 200 miles away. i'll probably get one in summertime if i have the money. i really like that for the most part they're not super obvious what they are, even the hand isn't bam in your face this is album artwork unless you're in the know. no hate to those kind of tattoos (ive seen some sick tattoos of the whole gth cover or at least the entire guy) it's just not my kind of thing, i like to be mysterious.

sorry for talking so much, but getting tattoos is my only personality trait. i could and would literally speak about it all day. consider this your formal piece of danny's tattoo advice. none of these are my most painful placements and none were my most painful tattoos, but everybody is different so if you genuinely do want this advice, take it with a grain of salt. and if anyone wants more of my advice/further tattoo tours, feel free to ask (idk why you'd want advice from me but i have probably about 40 tattoos at this point and i want to talk about it. because i'm boring and inufferable. i'm A Tattoo Person. this is my coming out </3)

cheers for looking x

#sorry this is so much talking #i love to yap #i think the tattooing process is a minor special interest for me and it makes me very happy to talk about my own stuff #so i am always happy to answer questions/give advice re placements/healing/etc if people want it #i am rather informed all things considered #that sounded pretentious im so sorry

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hanarchy · 2 years

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Hi friends, I illegally logged into tumblr on my work computer on the first working day of 2023 specifically to make this post properly. I don't have a good computer and I simply could not do this on my phone.

Ok, Time to get emo :)

I discovered SKZ at the end of last year, I personally date my anniversary to somewhere between December 29th 2021 and January 2nd 2022. It's a good thing too because I get overemotional at the end of the year anyway and now I can just schedule all my gratitude and emo times at the same time.

I want to start from the beginning bc the only reason 2022 was a good year for me was this discovery. this is a bit of recap for me because I wanted to do it. If you're tagged in it it means that you played a part in my year and meant something to me. Feel free to only read your little paragraphs (or nothing at all, theres no obligation), this is bound to get unspeakably long.

first, I want to give a quick shout out to the people I started talking to/followed more recently @hyunpic (I haven's checked twitter today, did hyunjin kill you yet or did he get all of that out of the way in 2022?) @mybodyfails (did u ever listen to stromae?) @jisungsjaistandjeekies (how was the first day of your new job?) The best thing about getting another year on tumblr is the promise of getting to know you all more <3

@quokki you were literally the first person I ever followed for stray kids content. It was around february, when I looked for fanart for the first time and reactivated my twitter and I found your hannies. It took a little longer but I'm so glad we are friends now. I really love our chats/meltdowns abt hanji and you're incredibly talented and kind and also just correct abt a lot of stuff lmao

@alexenglish alex, I know we don't talk that much but you were the first person to really talk to me abt k-pop stuff and I will never forget that. I also cannot thank you enough for showing me rolling quartz and for reading the stupid thing that i wrote that one time. it seems trivial but i literally do not show anyone my writing ever and anytime I do and it's a good experience it makes me a little braver so thank you, seriously. and also thank you for sticking around even when I'm a dick

my first comeback in march was soso special because I had people to freak out with. I was in Ireland at the time and even hough I was brand new in online stayville I felt a lot less alone than I could've.

in april i started talking to @sailsflyseaward but I honestly can't believe it has only been 9 months. We've met 3! times since then and you're already one of my most precious online friends and I feel like I've known you way longer. I have to try very hard to stay cynical and not believe in fate and the universe being a good place when I think about how we could've just never met.

I was EXHAUSTED the first 4 months of this year, I hated most of it. I turned 30 in april, i had been to ireland and to the north sea on vacation in march and april but all of it felt hollow and exhausting and terrible. In germany we say that may makes everything anew and it certainly was true for me this year. I planned a trip to toronto, I got a raise, I got to see mamamoo, ive and a bunch of others live and i spoke a little to so so many sweet people.

@nevoono who makes literally the cutest fucking things ever and was my first german k-pop friend ever and also is just... really cool in such a unique way. idk I'm sorry I'm terrible at keeping up.

to @ambivartence who I don't talk to a ton but who also is literally the coolest artist alive and made me feel very happy to know that others also travel very far to see their groups. I stare at your paintings so much, i honestly should not admit it but there's just always so much to see.

and to @pvddins-art who is one of the sweetest and kindest and most generous people I've ever met, which is a high bar because I use those words for a lot of people, but for you they are more true than for anyone.

getting to go to a k-pop festival in germany as my first experience was so good too. I really had no idea what it means to ba a k-pop fan and the whole community and culture and incredible vibes around it when you're there in person. I had a very exhausting day and it was hot as hell and I had a migraine after but it was all worth it

interlude because I don't remember when I started talking to you:

@brianbangs tay my sweetheart, i love you so much. you're just one of the people who get it. like. idk, it's hard for me to put into words properly but you get it when I'm being a hater and you get it when I'm being emotional and you get it when I'm being horny and you accept all of it. I also think you're really fucking creative and talented and I love being here with you so much

then june came and it was one of my best months ever ever. I went to another festival and got to relive the music I loved as a teen. seeing the strokes 16 years after I was a fan made me cry a lot lol. I went to see my favorite people alive @starmotions, @fromadifferentphase (and the third one who is missing but u know who u are) in toronto. and I do mean this literally you're my favorites. I'm the most me when I'm with you, I think of everyone who knows me no one knows me so completely. there isn't anyone I share more parts of myself with. the 1 week I just got to hang out with you was so incredibly precious to me, it made me power through most of the rest of the year. moments of joy! I got to see toronto and got to spend time with people I love. one of my friends came all the way from salt lake city just to see me.

then I went to new york and now there's a long ass list coming because 1. it was the first time I met my beloved julia, 2. it was when i met my beloved kay 3. i got to travel with my beloved di and we got to explore new york and eat so many tacos and learn about queer art and history and also it was when I met both

@chanstopher and @lonelystreetlight and I'm puting you both in the same paragraph bc I started talking to both of you at the same time and also discovered that we're literally the same tumblr user, I cannot believe that I found the old 1D crowd again and the old glee crowd AND even the old starkid people. ok, I had to google the songs from the space tour just now but it's insane that I could text someone about both status quo by starkid AND zone by 3racha.

and lastly it was OF COURSE when i fucking saw fucking stray kids in fucking person (sorry) I was so numb from everything going on, and from the heat and from newark airport that I didn't even cry but looking back on it I honestly can't even begin to believe how lucky I was to be able to do all of that in just one month.

july was the month I went to see harry styles (meh) and hang out with an old friend because of it (yay) and I have literally nothing else in my calender for the entire month but I know I was a bit stressed. however I don't think it was a terrible time.

In august I went to the south of germany on vacation to celebrat my moms birthday, we went to the opera outdoors and I felt extremely fancy the entire time and also saw so many flowers. then we started the stayblr discord.

@snug-gyu @hanjesungs @ggthydrangea @littleclouds @shmalll @babychicklix and everyone else in there! I am so glad it's a space to hang out and message each other and talk about skz. I know I left very quickly (unfortunately group situations are terrible for my mental health and I felt very bad very quickly) but I still got to start chatting with so many cool people and I'm always so happy that we did that.

@bangchanies king of the dumpster that is new jersey, my absolute favorite eyeshadow model and another one of the bitches that just get it, u know? you just get what I'm trying to say and I am grateful to have you to text when I want to be annoying. (you're also secretly incredibly sweet and I think you're honestly just a very kind and empathetic person and i would be sadder without you but i will not tell anyone that you're secretly nice)

@cheekyquokka even though you're not IN the server, I feel like we started really talking around the same time so you're getting put in here as well. you're so generous and sweet to your friends, I remember the surprise and amazement from both bee and ale at the packages you sent them, you're such a great fucking mutual to have because you know yourself and you make really cool gifs, every time one of yours comes across my dash i know it. idek why. anyway, thank you <3

around september was when I finally started the group chat and seven made it complete, so here comes that bit. I needed to make sure you all know how much you mean to me.

@bourgeoix I swear in some off-kilter way we are soulmates. you make both my fandom brain and the little kid that didn't know popstars but could draw the shape of gorbachevs blood spot feel at home. you're soooo fucking smart and we have like debated moral philosophy and learning and reasoning styles at length so I won't go into it but it's one of those amazing fated coincidences that we both befriended seven and then each other. you think it's cool that I live near to Olaf Scholz's barbershop. you're my favorite of all the nerds. I could read the stuff you write for years and years and never get bored. I need to eat your brain (as jace or seven would say) and I love that we get to be both smart and very very very dumb together.

@hyumjim I honestly cannot top what mel said but you're like. my only grown up friend. You genuinely have a patience and kindness with people that is really hard to find. I know you don't show this to everyone but it makes me all the more grateful that I get to experience it. you're also insane. when seven first added you to the gc I had sth to say that felt really crazy to me and was nervous in front of you and seven said 'emily is also insane' and so i posted it in the gc and now we're friends. i don't remember what it was but you gave great advice and i sort of feel like we disagree and fight in all the ways that makes a relationship better and you make me insecure but in a fun way. you're a huge hater and yet you genuinely love people and humanity more than most people alive. thank you for listening to me.

@jellino jace idek how to describe you but you're like....... my little brother but not in a lame way. you're also older than me in some ways. idk, I just love how much you love stuff. I love how sure you are of what you're not, even while always wondering what you are. I think of you so much when I see sea creatures and ice age characters and dumb stuff. the other day I saw a squirrel irl and i thought 'I have to send this to jace' bc it reminded me of scrat from ice age. i cannot look at a penguin without thinking about you. I don't think I'll ever go to a zoo and not think of you. I also am always hoping that you are ok, that you find your way, that you know I'm happy and proud to know you...

@bewby my love. seven. I think it will never not be complicated how much I love you because I want you to be ok so bad. but it doesn't matter if you are or not for me to love you a whole lot. you're so funny and so smart and I say neither of these things lightly, like you have such a quick wit and you want everyone to be ok so bad and you love people so much and i hope that some day you will know that it is enough and you are enough. meeting you that one time was so fun, like we literally did not need more than a half hour to find sooo much stuff to talk about. I love having a german kpoppie friend, I love your tender heart, I love how understanding you are! I hope you know how much!

honestly it's all 4 of you that got me through fall and winter so far, it's venting and bitching and joking and writing insanely long messages to you that make me feel like a human instead of a gremlin. It's knowing that you like me and think I'm someone you want to listen to. You mean so much to me, I can never pay that back.

so much happened in my personal k-pop world in october PLUS most of my friends had their birthdays too so it was a bit stressful and it ended with my great uncle dying but i did get to see my old friends and family, so it was good in the end.

november was cold and dark as always but i got to feel so much warmth in scotland, just spending a few days going to museums and coffeeshops and nothing else and then seeing my love julia for the scond time, learning about history and eating pies. then I went to london to see @sunflowercocoa again after 5 fucking years and it was so much fun. I know you know how much I love you, I had such a good time, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for making me leave the house, thank you for being generous and fun and spending time with me. I know you're strong enough to get through the next year or so and I know you're gonna be so happy and so successful and you have a great life ahead. I know you're not here much anymore and that it kind of annoys you but you were a big part of this year and this is like my diary at this point tbh.

i also met @geniaparadox my homie and so much fun to hang out with. honestly our day together kind of made me wish i could've gotten to hang out with you in high school, i feel like we would have been friends. thank you for talking to me abt how underrated felix is and for looking at the bts stuff in hmv and despair because being a k-pop fan in europe is very sad and for buying japanese tea and just being cool. i am so happy that you get to not go back to that job

december was november but worse but I started it off sososo well, seeing julia the 3rd time and going to nuremberg and munich and being slightly tipsy at the christmas market everywhere and going swing dancing for the first time and trying so many fun food and drink things. It was a sad and anxiety-inducing month because so many people I know were ill or dying but in the end we mostly made it through and I am grateful. I got to spend the end of the year surrounded by babies and puppies and it felt good to not have to deal with grown-up things for a few days and just play.

#personal #life #middle of the day text posts #i love u all im so sorry for this

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