#Johnny tactics

[zappedbyzabka]

[tactax-art]

my fanart intro into a new fandom must always be memes, you're welcome (pls reblog)

[dykerory]

Martin Kove is so good at selling genuine menace as an octogenarian obsessed with making teens do karate at each other

[keingleichgewicht]

what's house of leaves?

the short version is, it's a book about a book about a book about a book about a movie that never existed about a house that's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. it is probably the single most famous/notorious existing work of "ergodic fiction", meaning basically fiction which exists in such a complex relationship with its medium that it takes nontrivial effort just to consume, meaning uhhhh a lot of it looks like this,

or worse!

it's like, fifty percent an extremely high-effort mockery of modern academia, it's often doing its active best to be completely incomprehensible to you, its and i cannot emphasize this enough A Space With A Beast In It. its awfully dear to my heart also. or as mark z danielewsky who wrote it puts it:

"I had one woman come up to me in a bookstore and say, 'You know, everyone told me it was a horror book, but when I finished it, I realized that it was a love story.' And she's absolutely right.

[d3vilsadv0cate]

Keep up, Soap

[brewed-pangolin]

'Bravo 7-1. Going dark.'

-Soap MacTavish, probably. Right before he buries his face between your thighs.

[dovabunny]

GhostSoap AU Concept - I know those hands

Soap's favourite way to destress is watching Ghost's videos. He never talks, it's just gorgeous big strong hands that bakes, cooks, and dismantles weapons.

Watching those hands go from kneading dough to cleaning a sniper rifle is so hot in ways he can't explain.

He has notifs on for his videos, has rewatched them countless times, and has had many shameful fantasies of those strong hands on him.

His favorite moment is a faint but deep chuckle when he was chopping carrots and one part shot off into a window by the 'thunk!' sound of it. He has it saved as an audio file on his phone.

Soap comments on every video, often the first to! Giving detailed praise of what he liked and how he loves his videos, and how they make his day. Ghost never responds to comments though, Soap suspects he doesn't even check the comments.

Soap, or 'MacSoap69' even changed his profile pic to a cute one of him covered in paint laughing at Gaz taking the photo. A delusional fantasy that maybe it'll catch Ghost's attention.

Gaz knows of his crazy simp crush, says it's sad. Soap doesn't care, he has no interest in anyone but Ghost.

However, Soap can only shoot down and think up excuses to avoid so many blind dates till he gives in to Gaz trying to set him up with an 'actual person'.

He arrives at the fancy restaurant his (pretentious) rich 'date' chose at 8:25 for their 8:30 reservation. It's been a really long while since Soap actually dressed up nicely to go out and felt good about how he looked in the mirror.

Then the asshole stands him up. He gets a text an hour late that he's in a meeting he'll reschedule, without actually rescheduling or apologizing.

By now Soap has gotten many pitying looks as he kept telling the waiter he's waiting for someone, looking around expectantly. At the text his face falls and so does his mood.

Of course. Man probably came, took one look at Soap with his rough hands, mowhak, and stupid face and decided it's not worth it.

He wants to cry. He feels so stupid.

He asks for the bill for his two glasses of Scotch. By now the place is starting to empty. He took a table on a busy night just to waste everyone's time. He plans to give a big tip.

The waitress returns but says the chef asks if he could stay just a few minutes longer. Soap is baffled. He'd seen glimpses of the man in the open style modern kitchen, kinda hard to miss the gorgeous giant who looked both out of place and perfectly in his element. In fact he'd been keeping himself distracted by watching him work and move around the kitchen.

But what does the chef want him for? Fuck...is he going to get chewed out for hogging the table all night without ordering?? It scares him but he guesses he deserves it.

He says he'll wait.

15min later the chef comes over to his table, his apron and hat off, two plates are beautifully presented but proper big dishes unlike the 'fine dining' fancy plates he saw other guests get. Did he...make this just for him?

"Mind if I join you?"

But that's not what has Soap stunned silent. A little breathless.

The hands carefully placing the plates down like an offering...

...he knows those hands. Knows them better than his own.

"...Ghost?"

"Hello, MacSoap69."

[dutiful-wildcraft]

I've been watching a lot of I'm on Observation Duty/Spectator playthroughs and I'm feigning for spooky season. Have a little thing~

Just some fluff and humor, not edited 🎃

Price × Plus size OC

Price watches as Ruby prepares for one of her favorite nights. Autumn had  slowly replaced the muggy summer heat, shifting the leaves golden and leaving the nights pleasantly crisp.  

His sweet girl had been practically buzzing all week, excitedly explaining the history of Game Night.  But not just any game night, no, horror game night. 

Not played by her or course, but Darren, who excelled far more than she did.  It was a past time they'd both had since they were kids and Ruby far preferred to watch the playthroughs rather than struggle with the buttons. 

Price can easily imagine it, his sergeant perched in front of an old box television, his baby sister dutifully sat beside him, helping him solve puzzles, cheering him on with the monsters. It was adorable to see her still so excited about it.

She’d laid beside John in bed the days prior, asking about the rest of the 141’s favorite snacks. Should she do beer or soda? Does anyone have allergies? Tapping notes out in her phone like it was her job. 

She’d spent the day baking and making goodies. Putting up her little spooky knick knacks and pestering Price into sniffing themed candles. (He’d settled for cinnamon apple, after having a rather befuddled and then hardy laugh over the mashed potato scented candle she’d snuck in his hands).

As the sun set they piled into the living room. A makeshift nest built onto the floor where Gaz and Darren were sat shoulder to shoulder, square in front of the tv. Simon and Johnny piled onto the side couch, the bulk of them barely fitting as the pair practically inhaled the caramel covered popcorn Ruby had made. 

John was never one for video games, but having his soft girl beside him and his team laughing? He would spend every night like this.

The game isn't terribly graphic, really more of spooky spot the difference. Something all of them could join in on. Settings of graveyards, rundown hospitals and haunted homes. They're tasked to go through rooms and report any anomalous activity.  

Price had anticipated something fairly cheesy, maybe even a little boring. But the game had proven more challenging than any of them truly anticipated. The small group huffing and puffing as they failed again and again to report enough anomolies on time. 

I told ye tha’  cup was on the left and the remote on the right!!

I know that pillow wasn’t that color, you think it’d be that subtle?

Quit clickin’ through the rooms so fast!!

The fock they mean we missed an intruder? 🤨

Check all the corners sergeant.

It'd actually become pretty amusing. What had started out as articulate explanations as they bounced from room to room slowly devolved into caveman-esque shouting.

MUG BIG!

LAMP MOVE!

DOOR OPEN?

HEAD IN THE SINK!!!!!

John’s favorite however, was his brave thing slowly but surely scooting closer and closer to him the creepier things became. She'd been determined at first, pillow in her lap, leaning forward, just her knee brushing against his thigh.

The jumpscares had her flinching bodily, slowly sinking back into the couch cushions and hugging the pillow as a soft shield. Squinting at the screen with sour suspicion.

The next scare had her latching onto him. Pillow abandoned in favor of his arm, soft cheek pressed against his bicep. 

She's not scared of course, just protecting him from the digital danger. (Obviously).

The rest of the boys took pleasure in making up stories for the various intruders. Truly disturbing ghosts and monsters made silly.

Ah he prolly just forgot his wallet

Yeah, looked like you were havin a hard time shitting yourself mate, thought he'd help out.

Maybe he's just shy?

That's just how Simon hangs out.

…It's true.

A particularly harsh scare had her squealing, pointing frantically at the screen as the speedy intruder barreled toward them on the screen, breathing into the camera with sharp jaws. 

Darren naturally took this time to admire it, much to his siblings dismay.

“Report is Darri, report it Darri, report it Darri.”

“Now this is a specimen, you don't get monsters like this every day”

“DARREN”

“Ru, what animal ya reckon this was based off of?”

“It's about to be based off my foot in your ass.” she hisses, face tucked into Price's shoulder, refusing to look any longer. 

Price can't help but chuckle at her, pressing a kiss to her hair before shaking her off and curling his arm around her, tucking her snuggly against his side with an appreciative pat. 

The rest of the night goes similarly. The team becoming quite good at navigating the anomalies, and instead attempting to scare each other at any opportunity.

Ruby makes the mistake of slipping off into the bathroom down the conveniently long dark hallway.

Only a moment passes as the bathroom door swings open, followed by a loud scottish growl, a frantic gasp, and the dull thud of Ruby's fist connecting with the drywall instead of Soap's skull as he scampers out of the hallway laughing his ass off. 

“John Mactavish I will hunt you for sport.” his angel snarls, barreling around the corner after Soap, sore fist clutched in her opposite hand. The rest of the boys giggle furiously. 

Price is already out of his chair. A. to hide his own laughter, and B. to fetch the small med kit in case she hurt herself.

“All of you twats” she hisses the word with a faux english accent “better sleep with one eye open.” 

She continues her glaring as Price fusses with her hand. A little red, but she'll make it. He presses a bristly kiss to her knuckles, instantly drawing her attention back to him. He preens at how easy it is. Just his touch enough to have her smiling at him.

“Ready for bed?”

Even if she wasn't, she'd go with him regardless.

Price leaves the rest or his men to tidy up as he leads her off to bed. Waits patiently as she does her own little security ritual, double checking the lock and avoiding the mirror on her vanity. She even subtly checks the window, fussing with the curtains to appear nonchalant. 

Finally she crawls in beside him, curling against him snuggly and tossing a warm thick thigh over his hips. Clinging to him like a big soft octopus. 

He peppers her face in more kisses, easing away the mean pinch between her brows and easing it into something more serene. 

As her eyes flutter closed and her breathing evens out he murmurs against her hair.

“I've got an idea on how we can scare the piss out of Soap.”

[youling-the-ghost]

Brainrotting about Peter Steven (y'know the usual) and I realised something: his poor vision could be attributed to the fact that his mother never let him go outside. Staying indoors for long periods of time, especially in children, causes the eyes to become too elongated, which is basically nearsightedness. We know that Jemima didn't allow Peter to go outside, so this could very well be why Peter's eyes are so bad. I guess it could also be genetic, since David also has glasses, but at his age and to the degree that it is, genetics seem pretty unlikely.

So now we have parents who financially depend on one of their children and emotionally neglect the other, and we have a mother who's so overbearing that it caused damage to her son. Wonderful, what lovely parents these are.

[sunarctus]

you’d think the safehouse was big enough to not run into each other....

....you’d be wrong, Rudy is tired...

based on photo under cut from @ihatemyself-lmfao​​

I’m probably gonna finish this so ppl pls lemme know if I should actually draw Rodolfo or just leave him in blocky form to convey his fatigue

[swearingcactus]

i realized my last v post didn't include a single johnny interaction and have rectified this mistake

[khattikeri]

nijisanji making another tweet clarifying they only shared those Sealed Legal Documents with a few livers who happened to be named in them... when doki's legal documents were about "bullying within the company"... and then having the people involved livestream a corpo statement reading plus their own sad thoughts about it... you mean to tell me that For Sure elira vox enna millie and ike(?) are implicated in that document? for bullying selen? ok nijisanji

[hoperays-song]

Marcus and Affection... Not Well Acquainted

*Buster, trying to get to know Marcus by hanging around the garage, currently watching Marcus box*

Buster, starting to get concerned that he’s been doing this for the past three hours without a break: Hey Marcus? Random question: has anyone other than Johnny or your wife, and I mean absolutely ever, at any point in your life, told you they love you? 

Marcus: Do my parents count? 

Buster, excited: Yes! 

Marcus, completely deadpan: No.

[nkeiiin]

🔞Warning NSFW fanart: Soap / Ghost

Full image on my AO3. Thank youuu <3

[ship-from-shipping-and-receiving]

fuck it we ball, it's soapghost time 👻 (I have no soap emoji this is homophobic)

[merge-conflict]

10 & 14 for Val/Abernathy & 20 & 16 for Val/Goro? :3c

:3 (Questions here)

10. What was their last big fight? What did they learn from it? (Valentine/Abernathy)

I'll preface this by saying that their style of fighting is all outwardly civil, because showing real distress or anger would be losing. So you've got one of those situations where all the air goes out of the room and they end up saying very vicious things in calm reasonable voices. Their last argument wasn't anything monumental on its own, but it was one of those ones where a lot of bullshit had been simmering for a while. When Abernathy gave Valentine some condescending feedback on a project she was working on, it just devolved into both of them trying to hurt the other as much as possible. Their fights usually go along the lines of 'You're never going to be good enough (Abernathy to Valentine)' and 'Your obsessive need to control people is why you don't have any friends besides me (Valentine to Abernathy)'.

They made up, but a few weeks after this Abernathy broke up with her in a public place and shortly after that after she got her promotion to SpecOps director and got Valentine kicked down the ladder with Jenkins. So Abernathy learned to be excessively paranoid about becoming a target for revenge, and Valentine learned not to ever get too comfortable. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ 14. What little things remind them of each other? (Valentine/Abernathy)

I guess this one is angsty because obviously they did not have a good breakup.

For Abernathy, it's every time she sees an exec working hand in hand with a trusted lieutenant, and whenever she's at a fancy party and doesn't have Valentine to text snarky commentary to. Valentine was really into all her fancy coffee blends and so on occasion she still hears her ranting intensely on the comparison of one roast over another when she's having her morning cups.

For Valentine, inevitably anything to do with the fucked up internal politics and power struggle within Arasaka will always have that sort of tinge of memory. She also still remembers all of Abernathy's favorite snacks and places to eat and socialize, which she now avoids entirely. 16. How do they react when the other is upset? How do they try to help? (Valentine/Goro)

Heh, well throughout the game events Valentine oscillates violently between "Everything's fine lol :)" and "If I can't stab someone or something in the next five minutes I'm going to lose it :)" so Goro gets a lot of practice. His strategy is generally to be a quiet voice of reason and stick close by for when she is ready to cool off and lean on him. He's also found distracting her with innocuous and unrelated conversation to be helpful.

On the other hand when they're together Valentine usually is expending some amount of brain power anticipating his reactions to things (she gets pretty good at it, so it's instinctual) and pre-empting as many conflicts as she can. Otherwise, Goro is a much more emotionally stable person than she is, but also much more (successfully) repressed, so often her work is to openly acknowledge she can tell he is upset. Most of the time the things that upset him are outside of her control (survivor bias lol), so she just listens to him get it off his chest.

20. If they disagree, who's usually the one to compromise? (Valentine/Goro)

Valentine 100% lmao. Either she won't mention that she disagrees or she'll tell him, but agree to do it his way anyway. There are times when she thinks she's right but that she can convince him, but she'll do it in the most convoluted non-confrontational way possible, and she's lucky one of his career skills is being able to understand what someone wants without saying it. (There was that one time she punched him in the jaw instead, but that was an Outlier.)

Which isn't to say Goro intentionally steamrolls her, but he's used to being obeyed as much as he is being Saburo's shadow. Still, he doesn't really want her to just go along with whatever he does so he does make the effort to compromise occasionally even if he thinks he's right. Luckily they don't disagree on most of the important things, and for most of the other stuff they're confident enough just to tease each other about those differences of opinion. (e.g. can the snacks sold in gas stations be considered Food?)