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sherrybaby14 · 5 years

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Roar

Summary: Valentine’s dinner with Steve gets crashed by an unusual guest

Warnings: Smut, violence, background death

Words: 1700 (Just a drabble)

A/N: I was doing all those sabotages, and in a weird mood, so enjoy this piece of crack. Happy Valentines Day!

The classical music drowned out the sounds of the workers cleaning dishes in the kitchen. You took another sip of your wine and eyed your paramour across the table.

“What?” He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.

“You’ve been acting strange all night.” You set the wine glass down. “You know they probably want to close soon. We’re the last table.”

“Well maybe I’ve been acting strange since I am nervous.” Steve picked up his glass and took a chug. “And the only open reservation they had was for the end of the night. They shouldn’t have taken one at all if they were going to kick us out.”

“Back up.” You crossed your legs and you leaned forward. “Steve Rogers is nervous? Do tell…”

“We’ve been together for about six months now.” Steve ran his hands over his hair. “And to some that wouldn’t be a long time, but for me...well I’ve lost so much time, I don’t want to waste another second.”

Your stomach began to flip at what you thought he was going to ask you. You had to break eye contact, not sure you wanted him to continue. You looked at the window behind him, trying not to freak out.

“You’re a special girl. I trust you, and I trust myself around you. We have a deep level of comfort with each other. A peace I’ve never known before.” Steve took your hands.

There was a movement on the street. Strange. This wasn’t a busy area. Was that a car? Were you imagining it? You tilted your head and squinted your eyes.

“I know this might take you off guard, but heck, I try to be open with you.” He let out a deep breath.

“Steve…” Was that what you thought it was? You blinked.

“No, don’t let me lose my nerve here. I need to finish.” Steve squeezed your fist.

“Steve.” You stood up from the table. The ground shook.

You looked at the plate on the table bounce. Steve rose with you and pulled you closer.

“This is important.” He grabbed your chin and tried to focus your vision. “What I’m trying to ask is…”

“STEVE!” You grabbed his chin and turned it to the window.

“WHAT THE????” Steve grabbed your hips right when the window shattered.

ROOOOAAARRRRRR! The noise was loud enough the glass shattered. You both hit the floor with a smack and crawled on instinct to the back of the room.

Razor sharp teeth began to snap and a shriek left your throat as you slid across the floor. Your chest was rising and falling at a rapid rate as you slid under a booth. A giant snout following your movement.

The creature was too large to make it further into the establishment, but you and Steve both tried to curl into the far wall as another roar left the thing’s mouth.

“Huh?” The door from the kitchen swung open.

“NO!” Steve shouted.

“RUN!” You added.

But the beast had noticed. It’s snout moved away from you and the last thing your heard was the worker’s scream before giant jaws crunched his bones.

“THAT’S A FUCKING T REX!” You grabbed Steve’s hand and dragged him out of the booth.

“HOW???” Steve ran with you as the monster lifted it’s head, slamming it into the ceiling of the restaurant.

The two of you dodged it’s tail as you made it on to the street. Another roar went loose as the creature swung back to the street, taking out bricks and collapsing the building with it.

“RUN!” Steve kept pulling you.

“NO!” You couldn’t pull him to a stop as you heard the giant footsteps behind you. “Haven’t you seen Jurassic Park? It’s vision is based on movement.”

“Jurassic WHAT?!?!” Steve turned you down an alley.

“You don’t run! You hide.” You dove behind a dumpster. “Stay STILL!”

The T-Rex was at the alley entrance way. Steve’s chest was heavy.

“Captain America doesn’t hide.” His eyes flashed at you in the darkness.

“You can’t fight a fucking dinosaur!” You tried to pull him back down by you.

“I’m going to get it’s attention.” Steve touched your cheek. “You sneak back and call for help.”

“No!” You tugged at his arm. “That thing will eat you!”

“I can take him.” Steve was too strong for you. “Get help.”

Before you could object he pressed his lips to yours, the man much too strong to hold back.

“HEY!” Steve waved his arms as he went back in the alley.

Your boyfriend was about to take on a dinosaur. What world were you living in? How was this happening?

Whatever help Steve imagined you calling for was probably well on it’s way and besides that would just result in more deaths. You looked around the corner in shock as Steve ran full speed at the thing. It’s jaws opened wide and it bit at Steve, but he dodged it, ran for the leg and climbed up.

The T-Rex started growling and chomping, trying to knock Steve off, but your boyfriend managed to get up to it’s neck. He started to punch at the thing.

Was this a dream?

“YOU THINK YOU CAN RUIN MY VALENTINES DAY?” Steve kept hitting. “EAT MY WAITER?”

This was it, the most bizarre situation your brain could think of. You were probably dead and hallucinating. That was the only rationale explanation.

A glittery red circle began to form out of nowhere. Was this the gate to the afterlife? Coming to summon you to the otherside. A floating man came out with a giant green medallion.

“Apologies for the interruption.” He looked at you. “HEY!”

The man waved his arms and both the dinosaur and Steve stopped to look.

“FOLLOW ME!” He was getting the T-Rex attention with a bunch of crazy movements.

He ran through the circle and the monster followed, with Steve gripping on tight to it’s neck.

All three went through the portal and it sealed shut. The loud sounds silenced and you found yourself alone in the alley, sirens approaching.

“What. The. FUCK???” You hit your heel into the ground.

The glittery ring began to appear again. You walked to the front and saw the portal head on. There was sun on the other side and you had to hold your hand over your brow.

Steve walked out. His dress shirt and pants gone. He wore a pair of tight shorts. The clean shaved face you saw seconds ago replaced with a full beard. There was a handsome jagged scar on his cheek.

“I’ve missed you.” He walked right up to you and grabbed your waist, pulling you in for a deep kiss.

Strong, demanding even. You gasped into his mouth, but he didn’t ease up as his tongue coaxed yours. You had so many questions, but Steve commanded your attention on the kiss. You moaned into his mouth as your adrenaline mixed with confusion. Finally he broke the kiss, pushing his forehead to yours.

“What is happening?” You ran your hands over his beard.

“It’s been seconds for you.” He kissed your neck as his hands ran up your body. “Two years for me.”

“I...I don’t understand.” Steve dug his fingers into your hips before flipping you around. You braced yourself against the brick wall of the alley as he pushed the bottom of your dress up over your hips.

Steve being adventurous? Public sex?

“I know you don’t.” His hand rounded your ass before yanking your panties down. The cool air made you gasp, but his finger traced your slit before teasing your hole. “Strange needed my help in the past. Jurassic era. We fixed everything. The world is still here. My world.”

“Wha….”. You squealed as he dipped a finger inside of you and brought your mouth to your hand, biting down to stifle your noise.

“You always were so ready for me.” Steve pushed his shorts down and you felt his cock smack your ass. “I’m glad nothing has changed.”

“Changed?” You felt your eyes roll back as Steve kissed and bit your shoulder, his cock sliding inside of you.

“You’re so tight Doll.” He moaned as he bottomed out. “Better than any memory.”

None of this made sense, but your brain was too clouded with thoughts as Steve started to rail into you in the alley. Your body took over. You began to push back against him, the sound of you two smacking into each other echoing off the bricks.

“You feel so hot.” Steve grunted as his hand snaked forward and found your pearl. He started to rub as he fucked. “Deliciously inviting. My world.”

A haze settled over you as you fucked against him, loving the way his cock filled you and his hand worked you. Then his other palm came up and found your breast. He began to squeeze over your dress as he nipped at your back.

“I’m going to cum.” You began to hump wildly against him with no pattern or reason other than your own finish.

“Cum on this dick baby, your dick.” His teeth dragged your skin away.

“Fuck.” You moaned as you came undone, exploding around him while falling into the wall. Your head spinning with pleasure.

“So good.” Both of Steve’s hands went to your hips as he pulled you down against him and thrust up.

The stretch of his cock burned in such a pleasing way you let out a purr as he filled you with his cum. You tried to get your breath when he started to pepper your back with light kisses.

“What were you going to ask me?” You looked over your shoulder at him.

Steve licked his lips and brought his finger to his mouth. He sucked the digit in hard and you got a tingle in your core at the sight. It was like he was a new man.

“I’m not going to ask.” He held his glistening finger out and brought it behind you.

Your eyes shot open as he started to circle your rear passage.

“You’re going to love it.”

#Steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfic #maravel fanfiction

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sugar-petals · 5 years

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Sub!Namjoon A-Z

note: posts for other members linked in m.list!

⚠️ warnings: dom/sub dynamics, smut, bdsm

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

In the mood to talk a lot. Might appreciate a high five. I’m not even kidding.

b = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Confident about his legs. Always uses a metric ton of lotion to make them extra soft for you to fondle. Might go through a few bottles a month because wow, his legs have a lot of well um leggy leg to be slathered. For you... similar area, he likes your feet to worship.

c = cum (anything to do with cum basically… i’m a disgusting person)

How much more playful can he get. At your command, he’ll lick it off your butt. Sex with Namjoon is always super creamy-sloppy-sweaty anyways, he has a lot to gobble up.

d = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Most of the other members have as many secrets as they have fingers, Namjoon, however, will exceed that by far. He wants to try shibari, sounding, pet play, flogging, collaring, and basically everything that comes with spreader bars and gimps. Clearly spends too much time on the internet because holy cow, that’s ambitious. But you can take it as a compliment to your skill, or rather, Namjoon’s conviction that you master a lot of kinks.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

In his mind, and in general terms of knowledge, very much so. He’s not just well-versed with humanitarian thought, kink is not safe from his curiosity. Practically, less so, but he learns fast with your lead.

f = favourite position (this goes without saying.)

Up against a wall. He is not above begging for you to pin him to one everywhere. Also his favorite mode of making out, by the way.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Oops! By accident. Like when removing pants, trying to at least, because his boner often gets stuck, or stumbling across the room entangled with you, trying to head towards the bed.

h = hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Will definitely experiment with razors a lot. Because let’s face it, Namjoon is like straight out of a shaving commercial. Imagine him in those scenarios where the guy is all sensual under the shower with cream dripping everywhere, or leaning against the mirror wall. It’s totally worth filming.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

You probably have to prevent him from getting super cheesy... or allow it because oh my, he becomes even more hopelessly subby from that.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Edging, edging, edging. Him masturbating gets him into all sorts of trouble and everyone in BTS has at least one Kim ‘Fap Monster’ Namjoon story they can drunkenly tell at a party to embarrass him for eternity. He’s most infamous for moaning far too loud during climax and even talking to himself, or accidentally streaming his session into the group chat. The first sex-related thing that you’ll ever do is establish a couple rules for Fap Monster to follow, and generally engage in more guided masturbation than having him do it alone.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

The question remains, what kink doesn’t he have! But I get it, something specific, let’s see. That would be breast sucking. And not just on you, we all know the perks of Namjoon’s chest.

l = location (favourite places to do the do)

Now hear me out. It’s not the library, but something even more... out of the ordinary. Namjoon would totally be ready to have sex in abandoned places of some sort given that there’s not a spider every corner and unsafe debris. Maybe for nostalgic value, or the sheer thrill. You’ll have to talk about it.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Different every week. He will gladly explain that to you in his 2 AM texts that read like a Kant chapter each.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Now we had that, it’s more difficult to pinpoint that one. Nams would probably mention something that doesn’t go in accordance with his moral values and is general common sense either way, like some kind of creepy race/non-con play or certain forms of edge play torture that take hygiene concerns to a new level and would shred anyone without 10 years of experience. Besides exchanging thoughts with you, he’ll get busy in some BDSM forums online and inform himself on how the consensus is. Namjoon is definitely the type to know about what is controversial and being careful with that. He is kinky, but role model kinky.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Oh man. What can’t he do with his tongue. And those lips... fit perfectly on your labia. Surely equal amounts giving and receiving, 69 ahoy.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Sex with Namjoon is so dynamic, speed hardly stays the same over the course of a few minutes. Ever heard his tracks? You can assess how a rapper fucks by his mixtape alone. He switches flow every ten bars. That’s how Namjoon is in bed.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

You can jump on his dick as often as you please, problem is that Namjoon’s masturbation troubles transfer to your quickies as well. I think there’s a reason why abandoned places are perfect because otherwise, the whole world will know.

r = risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

90% risk, 10% contemplation. That might seem unusual for him, but in your presence, Namjoon quickly becomes a bit of a carefree guy. Hormones are one hell of a drug. But! It’s good to see him leave his mind palace.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

To be fair: He tries and tries and tries. All that edging does give him a few bonus minutes of endurance, but 15 minutes is the limit. Two rounds max.

t = toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

One of the few members who isn’t caught up in the toy mania. Seriously, can you imagine Joon operating something like a Sybian? It’s not him. Instead, he prefers you to bring your own collection along, who said Kim Namjoon doesn’t like some anal beads to stretch him out.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

His teasing is so subtle, it’s a test for your intelligence. If you don’t get it, he can still do one of his infamous simple, but effective winks to get your attention. The guy has several methods up his sleeve and thinks you’re cool anyways. Namjoon is a pretty sophisticated flirt, you’ll love that.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

Boy, what a confusion is that going to be for the neighbors. “Is Y/N watching Jurassic World again?” Nope, it’s your man making some weird inhuman noises and he’s proud of them.

w = wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

You can definitely take him hiking and have a lot of fun in the mountains, you know. Again, that saves civilization from Namjoon’s lack of vocal control and you have free reins to really make him choke and moan in the meadows.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Doctors hate him! How did Kim Namjoon grow such an impressive 8th member of BTS reaching from Ilsan to Seoul? Citizens use it as a bridge! Buy his secrets for just 70.99$! Now I’m joking, Namjoon dabbles around upper average independently of his body height, and you can be glad because if that was in true proportion your gynecologist would be the one hating him and that third leg. He’s definitely material for cock and ball torture, lots of areas to work with. Add the ass he’s been growing to spank. I swear the guy’s a sex symbol.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

How to describe it. Namjoon has a lot of pizzazz. It magically goes to sleep in the presence of books though.

z = zzz (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Click! Lights off. It happens pretty fast so you have to wrap it up quickly and kiss your koala goodnight.

#namjoon smut #bts smut #sub!namjoon #namjoon x reader #namjoon scenarios #namjoon a-z #bts a-z #bts a-z analysis #namjoon a-z smut #bts #bangtan #namjoon #namjoon a-z analysis #bts abc smut #namjoon abc #namjoon abc smut

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barnesbabes · 5 years

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Casting Call

gif creds to: @mrbenhardys

pairing: Joe Mazzello x Male!Reader

word count: 2.4K

request: @writingsthegame-dylansthename ”Well in that case, could you please write a fic where Joe Mazzello does a movie with the reader and then they accidentally fall in love. (Male reader of course)”

A/N: so excited to write this!

For the last month, you waited by your phone for hours. Ever since you left the audition room, you didn’t stop thinking about it. Mark, your manager insisted you got the job. He felt that you could portray the character the best. You fit the description that the casting directors wanted. You felt confident about it. That was until walked into the agency and found a room of your clones. They didn’t look exactly like you, but the similarities were clear. Your audition went good in your eyes, you gave your lines and they seemed really impressed by you. They smiled and told you,

“We’ll give you a call when we make a decision.”

You felt confident leaving that audition. But you didn’t get a call for weeks. You tried to think positively, your friends tried to encourage you. They’d gush about how prepared you were. You were surprised Mark didn’t quit, you called or text him at least once a day. He tried to calm you down. You had roles in TV shows before but this was a movie, a big project. This would get your name out there to more opportunities so you tried to wait patiently.

Nearly a month had gone by and you began to lose hope. They never posted who the cast was so maybe they were still looking? You began to blame everything that led up to that moment. You felt that you were plagued with bad luck. You wanted to blame the barista who said ‘good luck!’ instead of ‘break a leg!’. Okay, maybe you were overreacting.

Mark called you that day, he didn’t even wait for you to say hello before speaking. You groaned into your pillow, wallowing in self-pity.

“Y/N, are you sitting down?”

“Laying down actually.”

He laughed, you could basically see his smirk through the phone.

“Even better. Remember that audition you went in for, the super big movie?”

You hopped up, leaning on your elbows. The sound in his voice made you hopeful. You hummed in agreement.

“You got the job! They are having me forward the script to you later tonight! First read through in first of next month.”

That was only 5 days away. Holy shit. You laughed, thankfully he couldn’t see the tears pricking your eyes. You squealed with joy and listened to him tell you more about it. Once the call ended you fell back onto your bed and cried. You were excited, nervous and felt like all the weight was finally lifted from your shoulders. You stayed up until you finished the script. Your character seemed to totally have feelings for his longtime best friend. It was never addressed but you were sure to play the part to the best of your ability. You just wondered who the rest of the cast consisted of.

You finally figure out what you were wearing, your closet thrown around the floor. You made sure to get to the office early. You arrive and smile at the director. He threw his arm over your shoulder and smiles, knocking you off your balance.

“We are so happy to have you on this project, Y/N. Did you get the script?”

“Yes, it was amazing!”

You want to gush about it but you refrain so you wouldn’t annoy him. The secretary leans her head the conference room, pulling the director out of the room. You wipe your sweaty hands onto your pants and pour yourself a glass of water from the table of refreshments. You could hear the most adorable laugher outside the door. The director opens the door, a man follows behind him. God, he’s beautiful. The ginger hair that shined from the morning sunlight. The beautiful eyes that glistened. The smile tugging on his lips when he saw you. The beautiful laughter belonged to a beautiful man. He pushes his hand into yours and shook lightly. You had to try not to get lost in his eyes.

“Hey, I’m Joe Mazzello. You must be Y/N Y/L/N.”

You were astounded that he knew your name. You could only nod and smile. That’s all you did the whole time while the other actors showed up. You step back, reveling in how grateful you felt in that moment. Joe crept behind you, placing a hand onto your shoulder.

“A little overwhelmed?”

His voice was soft and sympathetic. Even through all the loud conversions in the room, you felt alone with him. You laugh softly and nod.

“Yeah, a little.”

He shakes his head and leans back into the table.

“Don’t be. I watched some of your work. They made the right decision.”

He had seen some of your shows. Holy crap. You felt like you could die right there and be happy. You made a mental note to yourself to look up his filmography.

You sat beside him as you began to read through the script. Everyone introduced themselves and their characters. It was your turn next.

“Hi, I’m Y/N Y/L/N. And I’m playing Issac.”

Everyone said hello and waved, making your nerves fall. You felt more comfortable as time grew. As you stop speaking it struck that you never asked Joe who he was playing.

“Hello everyone, I’m Joesph Mazzello. And I’ll be playing Sam.”

Sam and Issac were the two best friends in the movie. You remember reading the interactions between the two of them. It seemed that your character had deeper feelings for Sam. Yeah, it wasn’t going to be hard to act like you fancied Joe. The reading began and you couldn’t help but smile at Joe when you weren’t reading.

Your night was spent watching anything Joe had been in. You never realized that he was Tim Murphy from Jurassic Park, a movie you never shut up about after it came out. You watched an episode of The Pacific, holy crap he was adorable. You admired him as an actor even more now. He was able to play such different characters and looks adorable while doing so.

Three months had gone by since the first read through. You basically had seen Joe every day, not complaining though. In between scenes, Joe would strike up a conversation with you. As time went by, both of you would bring the other a coffee in the morning. Joe would saunter over to you, a smile tugging on his lips. He was quick to learn your coffee order. You’d giggle and cradle the drink your hands, thanking him.

“You’re addicted.”

He jokes as you punch his elbow. He sat beside you while you got your hair and makeup done. Joe began telling you about this girl he met at the bar a couple nights back. You try to act happy for him, responding the way any guy would to his friend having feelings for someone. But you were any guy to him, you had feelings for him and he never seemed to reciprocate them back. As the makeup artist left, a soft silence filled your trailer. He shifts in the seat across from you. You smile towards him as he finally comes up with a topic of conversation.

“We’re filming our fight today. You ready?”

You nod and glance over to your script. The fight was a turning point for your characters. Your character was going to finally reveal his feelings to Joe’s. Hell, it felt like you were going to. Of course, you’d run over the scene with him. Before any take, you two would go over it until it was perfect.

One night he even invited you to dinner. He showed you supposedly the “best pizza” place ever. You had to admit, it was really good. The plan was to have a bite to eat and then run over the scenes of the next day. Instead, you talked about each other's filmography. You swear that you can listen to his past acting experiences for hours. He mentioned how much he admired you in one of your more difficult roles. You could feel how warm your face was as he rolled out endless compliments to you. He walked you back to your apartment and gave you a hug, his hand lingering on your waist. You could still feel his hand there once you finally got upstairs. But somehow your feelings were oblivious to him.

You glance around the set, it was supposed to resemble the apartment of Joe’s character. Joe was sat on the couch, his hands clasp together. He tries to get into character before he shot something. He now likes to say that “it was hard to pretend to hate.” You stood outside the fake door, moving around to get your energy up, the coffee helped with that. You were given a thumbs up from one of the lighting people. You nod to him and take a deep breath. The slap board clap followed by the director calling to everyone.

“Rolling!”

Issac slammed his fist into the door, calling for Sam to open it. He stands up from his place on the couch and trudges over to the door. He lets himself into the apartment and turns on his heels, facing his friend angrily.

“Why have you been so M.I.A recently, Sam? You haven’t answered any of my calls.”

He threw his hands up, defeated by his friend's action. Sam rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He tried to muster up the words in a more polite way but couldn’t.

“Have you ever realized that you’ve been kind of a dick lately?”

Issac glared up at him. Of course, the two friends always called each other things like that, but never with such anger.

“Dude, ever since I started seeing Amy you’ve been a total dick.”

Issac rolls his eyes even though he knows his friend is right. He tries to think of something to say but Sam stops him.

“Issac, I know it sucks being single. But you’ll fin-”

“Stop! I’m not pissed about being single.”

Sam leans into the back of the couch, waiting for him to continue.”

“I’m pissed about the person I love not loving me back.”

Issac felt his heart sink. He had never planned to tell Sam his true feelings, let alone acting on them. He wrung his hands together and sighed.

“Do you like Amy or something? Is that why you’ve been such an ass?”

Sam retorted.

Suddenly, you weren’t acting anymore. You quickly responded, still in character.

“I spend all my time with this person! They bring me things, remember things but still are oblivious! They hold me, acting like it’s nothing! It means the world to me!”

The writer quickly stood when he noticed you going off the script. Joe didn’t look confused by your sudden change. He was listening to what you said, feeling at fault. Before the writer could cut in, the director stopped him. He leans forward to watch your performance.

“God, I love them. And it hurts. It hurts because they go one with their day fine, and I’m left wishing I could hold them! I wish I could kiss them, anything. They are fucking perfect. I do anything, hell I’m obvious about it but still, nothing is returned!”

Sam searched his head for something to say.

“Issac, I understand what you mea-”

“No, you don’t. Because I’m in love with you and that scares the hell outta me.”

Not only was there tension in this scene but it filled the room. People shared looks with each other, utterly impressed with your acting. Your chest heaves after yelling out your frustrations. The director calls cut and claps, walking over to you. You stare at Joe, not sure of what to say. It was clear that the line had some sort of truth behind it. You tried to leave the room as fast as you could, Joe races after you. He calls your name but you couldn’t face him.

You close the door to your trailer and flop into your chair. You push your face into your hands, groaning. You try to push back your tears. You wallow in the silence until you hear someone patter at your door. You take a deep breath before moving to the door, pulling it open. Joe stands there, panting softly. You open your mouth to speak but Joe kisses you softly. You start off taken back, not disappointed. He parts and carcasses your jawline.

“That story I told you earlier? Total lie. Y/N, I am utterly in love with you.”

You quickly pull him back into your lips, kissing him with all the passion you could muster.

Tonight was the premiere of the movie, your nerves running high. It wasn’t the first premiere you had been to, but one of the most important. But Joe had promised to stay by your side for the whole night. His hand rests on your inner thigh, your hand holding his. He presses a kiss to your temple, sensing how nervous you were. The car slowed down and the door swung open. Joe climbs out and waits for you, smiling brightly as you step onto the asphalt.

“Ready, love?”

Your cheeks feel warm as he whispers to you, his hand rests on the small of your back. You nod and wave to all the people trying to get your attention. Interviewers fix their fancy clothes and rush through the questions in their head, waiting till you reached them. You stopped and took some photos with people, they gushed about how handsome you looked in your suit. You laugh and thank them before rushing off to step onto the main carpet.

Joe holds an arm for you, smiling as you rush into it. The cameras flash and you can hear people calling for you both to look to them. You can’t help but smile at Joe. Through all the chaos you felt alone with him. The relationship was public, only to your family and friends. One of the photographers must have picked up on the intimacy between your exchange and called.

“Give him a kiss, Mazzello!”

What a prick, you thought. You didn’t have a second to respond before Joe pressed a wet kiss to your cheek, laughing. His nose presses against your cheekbone. People whistled and hollered, camera clicking and flashing around you. You hit his chest lightly and laugh as he pulls away. Throughout the rest of the night, his hand rests on yours. This was worth all the waiting.

#joe mazzello #joe mazello x reader #joe mazzello x male reader #joe mazzello x male!reader #x reader #x male reader #x male!reader #joe mazzello fic #joe mazzello fluff #my writing #barnesbabes #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody cast #Queen

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chalantness · 5 years

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tagging: @moonguks @gomustanggirl16 @catwomancabello @sassaspazz @xo-stardust720 @krewsprospect and anyone else who wants to play the tag games under the cut! I love reading these :D

Tagged by @gomustanggirl16!

What your mutuals/followers can address you as: Chanty

Birthday: August 14

Favorite Food: sushi and also chicken wings but obviously not together

Favorite Films: to prevent myself from coming up with a list of 50 here are my Top 5: #1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier #2. The Man From U.N.C.L.E. #3. Star Trek: Into Darkness #4. Jurassic World #5. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before HAH which one does not belong?

Things that make you Happy: lots of things but overall: reading, writing, and bullet journaling (which i have an insta for)

What is something you’ve accomplished that you are proud of: I know it sounds odd but I am still thankful that I got through senior year of high school because it was a struggle. My grades were great - they always were - but school never came easy to me and especially not testing, specifically, and so most of my senior year was spent skipping 2nd period so I could cry in the bathroom. Don’t get me wrong; I had a nice, mundane, average high school experience - no bullying, little-to-no drama, and friends I loved to varying degrees but still very much enjoyed being with each day. I enjoyed high school, and I was that kid that enjoyed learning and enjoyed the challenge of advanced classes, for the most part. Just, some of the school aspect was a soul-sucking bitch that I just couldn’t handle properly those last few months.

Go to song to sing at karaoke night: I don’t karaoke but I sing along to literally everything when I listen to music

Would you rather cook or order take out: take-out, always, because while I’m average in the kitchen I am lazy with clean-up

Are you an extrovert or introvert: I see myself as an introvert but... literally everyone says I’m an extrovert? Is this something I can judge for myself?

Celebrity crushes: Klay Thompson, don’t ask me why but he is my everything

Tagged by @moonguks!

rules: bold the ones that are true and tag 15 people.

appearance:

I’m over 5’5” // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles or birthmarks // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

hobbies and talents:

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

relationships:

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

aesthetics:

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

miscellaneous:

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least three dogs

Tagged by @catwomancabello!

Rules: Spell out your url using song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your url.

Cross Me - Ed Sheeren, Chance the Rapper, RnB Rock

History - One Direction

All In My Head (Flex) - Fifth Harmony, Fetty Wrap

Love Her Too - Marc E. Bassy, G-Eazy

A Good Night - John Legend, BloodPop

Needy - Ariana Grande

Thank U, Next - Ariana Grande

No Tears Left to Cry - Ariana Grande

Every Single Time - Jonas Brothers

South of the Border - Ed Sheeren, Camila Cabello, Cardi B

Seeing Blind - Niall Horan, Maren Morris

Tagged by @gomustanggirl16!

one // name: Chanty

two // birthday: August 14

three // zodiac sign: Leo

four // height: 5′

five // hobbies: writing and reading

six // favorite colors: most shades of purple, blue, and pink

seven // favorite books: too many but I’m really, really fond of the Off-Campus Series by Elle Kennedy (hockey lovers, this is for us) and Kiss the Sky and Fuel the Fire by Krista & Becca Ritchie from the Addicted Series

eight // last song I listened to: the entire Descendants 3 soundtrack sue me I love this franchise

nine // last film watched: The Lion King (2019)

ten // inspiration or muse: I don’t know if this counts as a muse but I get into really great writing moods and creative brainstorming by listening to music, and lately my writing playlist is basically: the “sweetener” and “thank u, next” albums by Ariana Grande, the “Happiness Begins” album by the Jonas Brothers, and Ed Sheeren’s “No.6 Collaborations Project”

eleven // dream job: author!

twelve // meaning behind your url: it’s a play on “chalant” from Young Justice - which refers to Dick Grayson and his adorable word play in Season One and also the ship of Dick Grayson and Zatanna Zatara aka: my origin story

#chanty gets tagged #jazzy #gomustanggirl16 #catwomancabello

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count-demonlord-of-decadence · 6 years

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A WEEK IN REVIEW

Wednesday;

I went to work as usual. An intriguing new member has been added to my team. her name is Victoria Scully, and I’m attracted to her lack of attractiveness. Her lack of curves, of features, her plainness; make me wonder if anyone has ever lusted after her. Has she ever looked at someone and read the lecherous intent in their eyes? Has she ever thought that someone would want to stuff every single one of her orifices with their cock? Has she ever known that someone would want to make her swallow gobs & gobbs of their cum? Has she ever felt the lust pouring off another? I assure you it’s no different than bloodlust.

Thursday;

Heather Camden, Tariq Ali and I took a half day at work to attend Duncan Nigel’s homebrew tasting event. He made a stout sweetened with honey, an IPA dry hopped with so much cascade hops as to render it undrinkable and an amber ale ruined by the addition of nutmeg. There was a quintet of frat boys, guests of Duncan’s step daughter, who became mouthy and obnoxious. We did our best to ignore them but they began to question our sexual orientations and insult our host we voted to beat them instead. They were all members of SDSU’s track and field team, though none of them were runners, so we took care not leave them with injuries that could compromise their scholarships and careers. In retaliation they besmirched Heather’s 7 series BMW. The last thing I remember is Nigel giving us all the beer we could drink to placate us. On the news the next morning I saw a report of a SDSU frat house burning down, four dead. police suspect arson or a hazing prank gone wrong.

Friday;

I half assed it at work to save energy to a club called Flax. It’s me, R.J. Roth, Tariq Ali and Javier Cruz. But the club is so packed by the time we arrive I don’t bother dancing and make my way to the VIP area. A hundred ensures I get in. There’s a poker game being played. One of the players is an impotent, arrogant twink named, I shit you not, Mill N. Eum. He happened to own Flax, but lost $60,000 to me in one hand (nevermind what he lost to the other four people in this game) chasing a six high straight. Turns out he needed that money to pay back the yakuza he borrowed the money from to open Flax. He literally offered to do anything to get the money back. First he takes a brutal ramming from Tariq in the missionary position. Next I give him a go doggystyle, but as my leanings lie elsewhere it doesn’t last long. Javier let’s him ride him cow “girl” and R.J. gives him a ferocious fucking in the piledriver position. Then the three of them give Mill a triple penetration (two anal one oral & vice versa) with each of the three holding each position twice. We finish him off with a bukkake and post the video of the session to xvideos.

Saturday;

After a more productive than most day at work, I hired two sex workers. One a hispanic BBW with her long hair dyed burgundy. The other was a skinny black teen who didn’t look old enough to vote. I took them to a motel where fornicated in a manner that ensured all three of our love nectars shall be found on every surface; every moveable object in the room. We sacrificed a rabbit to barbatos in the bathroom sink before departing.

Sunday;

I went to the spa before a 188 minute chess game with Uwe Boll (I won). To celebrate I went to my favorite Chinese food restaurant only to learn they’ve gone out of business. I dined begrudgingly at a local Taco Bell before meeting Cillian MacTavish and Kwon Shin-Lee for drinks at The Regent. Cillian dresses like a tourist failing to blend in with the locals. Shin-Lee (great hair) is looking for new markets in Western Europe for his brand of meth. Cillian is looking for a cheaper gun supplier and I’m looking for Southwest Asian girls. We all claim to know a guy who can help the others, just none of us can do it ourselves. Lots of words are exchanged and promises are made but everyone walks away empty handed.

Monday;

I returned some DVDs, Jurassic World & Mysterious Skin. I took my Mercedes-Benz CLK to get washed. They did such a lousy job on the interior that I texted Cillian MacTavish to inquire about procuring some simtex; but he doesn’t respond. In need of cheering up, I go to an underground fight club. I fight in three matches (these boys ain’t got nothing for Aikido) before running into Mickey Valentine. He has some opium to smoke and a ten year old blonde girl in the trunk of his 1999 Dodge Neon, and was looking to share. Katie Lynchburg had curly blonde hair and was just on the cusp of developing. Not exactly my tastes per se but Mickey’s leanings are devoted to the rectum, allowing him to enjoy both boys and girls. This was fine as it allowed be to use her other orifices without fear of interruption or reducing Mickey’s pleasure. When I say he is devoted to the rectum I mean he fingered, fucked, fisted, licked and otherwise penetrated them with an enthusiasm few could match.

Tuesday;

I go to work despite the fact my cock is sore and my mouth tastes like blood, body glitter and twizzlers. I’m beginning to suspect the new girl at work might trans. That is born physically male. This intrigues me. It’s so amusing wonder if she has a dick. Would I suck it? Would she want me to suck it? Would she ask, desire, demand to bugger (peg) me? Would she understand my leanings would cause me to still seek out the self lubrication orifice she lacks?

#pointless fiction #fiction #Evilcorey's pointless fiction

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kee-writestrashh · 6 years

Text

Guns for Hire

Ramsay Bolton x Reader

ao3

Summary: You are the wife to the Heir of the Red Kings, Ramsay Bolton. living the undercover life of a mob wife has its perks, and you love your husband. But you find out something that seems to unfold a series of unwanted events…

Chapter 52: Wind of Change

[You: meet me in the den in 10.]

You stood there wondering if you had time to make it to your bedroom to change before having to be in the living area.

[Matt: already here.]

You'd better not risk it. Ramsay was already stressed and on the verge of a snap.

[Ben: 10-4]

[Alyn: give me like 5 min.]

[You: better hurry or I will break your knee caps, Alyn!]

You examined the ugly curtains as you walked down the hall. Those would definitely have to go. What century were they even from? Gross.

You entered the den to find Matt and Alyn, arguing over baseball teams.

"What's up?" Alyn asked as you took your seat beside him.

"I want to get Rams out for the night. He's turning into a cranky old businessman." You said with a heavy sigh.

"I can't go. Race night. Have a spot to defend." Alyn said with an apologetic shrug.

You frowned and shot a look at Matt, who quailed under your glare.

"I'm free." He said quickly as Ben walked in, looking rather angry.

"Stop yelling at me, woman!" He yelled as Carmen could be heard shouting from down the hall.

"Not even going to ask you, because you're coming. You could use a drink or five." You said as Ben threw himself in a chair with an irritable growl.

"Where we goin'?" Matt asked.

"Dunno. I'm always just along for the ride, you boys can choose."

"Well, what are you wanting to do?" Ben asked, eyeing you closely.

"Find someone for my husband to take his frustration out on." You said.

Ben gave an understanding nod, "right. Got a couple places we could go. Are you feeling expensive rich or just rich?"

You snorted, "does it matter?"

"Nah, rich people are shitbags." Ben chuckled, motioning to your group.

"Hey, don't include me in that. I'm not rich." Matt chuckled.

"Nah, you just now have temporary residence in a manor where people wait on you hand and foot, make more money a week than most do in a month, own a brand new Corvette with thousands of dollars of custom work done on top of the list price, and head a street gang with a bloody reputation." Ben laughed, "oh, and at the age of eighteen. You are such a little Ramsay."

Matt flushed, shrugging in defeat, giving a shy grin.

Ramsay walked in, looking your group over. So small now with Damon gone. And even Yellow Dick. You wondered if Ramsay would fill in Yellow Dick's spot?

"Well?" He asked, looking over at you.

"I have two of three." You said, hopefully.

"Who's being a party foul?" Ramsay asked, frowning.

Alyn raised his hand, "Racing tonight."

Ramsay tutted and sucked his front teeth, "ever find out what happened to the Stark girl?"

Ben shook his head, "nothing. She's a ghost apparently. Like the rest of her family."

"Hm." Ramsay hummed, "Well I guess it doesn't matter. Where are we going?"

"There's a new club that just opened up on the north strip, not our kind of place. But it's No Man's Land. I'm sure we could drop some elbows on Lions and Stags. Got some men itching to make some money." Ben said giving Ramsay a sly grin.

"Then let's go drop some elbows. We leave in three." Ramsay smirked, glancing down at his watch.

"I don't have to wear a tie do I? I'm really not cut out for that." Matt hummed, pulling his hat down over his eyes, crossing his arms, and pushing himself back into the couch as far as he could.

"I won't make you wear a tie, but you're not going to look like a slob, representing me." Ramsay said, kicking Matt's dirty shoes.

"Yessir." Matt yawned, pulling a blanket over him.

You rose from your seat, stomach rumbling.

"Well, I'm going to go raid the fridge." You said leaving the Boys.

You stood there staring at the shelves of the refrigerator with a small frown.

"Whatcha doin'?" Kaden asked, from his spot at the bar, drinking from his straw.

"Well it would seem that your Cousin Damon is hungry, but nothing seems appetizing to him." You sighed, closing the door.

"What kind of things does he like? Maybe you could add them all together." Kaden said, eyeing your belly.

You laughed, "I don't think it would taste very good honestly. What do you have goin' on there?"

Kaden held up a dinosaur chicken nugget, "Abuela made me dinner before she went to help mama. You can have some if you like."

"Dinos it is, then." You laughed. He beamed.

You made a plate and sat beside Kaden, who kicked his feet against his stool.

"What kind of vegetables do you like?" You asked.

"Peas are my favorite. And green beans. And corn." Kaden said brightly, looking down at his plate.

"Hm. Me too. Uncle Ramsay hates peas." You said, pushing your peas around on the plate.

"Well he just don't know what he's missin'." Kaden said, chewing on his straw.

You laughed. He sounded just like his father. Children. Perfect miniature versions of their parents. For the sake of your sanity, hopefully your son was more like you, not that you were any better than your husband... But maybe not quite so wild.

"So... do you eat the head or the tail first?" You asked, examining the t-rex closely.

"Depends." Kaden shrugged, tearing into his nugget.

"On?" You asked, watching the boy with a grin.

"Oh, don't be stupid. It depends on the time of day and rotational tilt of the earth in the fourth year in the trans-something-or-another orbital... shit." Ramsay said with an air of superiority, yet finishing rather lamely.

You snorted and rolled your eyes, pulling your hand away from him.

"Get your own, good sir." You shrieked, waving your husband away.

"I'm afraid mine have all gone extinct." Ramsay sighed in mock sadness, glancing down at his watch, "they all moved from Jurassic Park to Jurassic World."

You laughed. Kaden crinkled his brows in confusion.

"Kid! Why did you let her force those nasty little things on you?" Ramsay said in distaste, looking down at the peas.

"We like peas." You said, sticking your tongue out.

"Yeah. We like the good stuff." Kaden pipped up, finally setting his fork down long enough to speak.

"Knock some sense into you, boy." Ramsay tutted, taking a seat beside you.

You looked at your husband fondly. He was quite a character. How could someone so full if anger and rage, and yet act like he had no emotions, be so charming and funny? How did he do it?

"Ah! There you are, tiny ese. I've been looking everywhere for you." Ben sighed, walking in.

"Sorry, he was my dinner date." You said, offering a smile, holding up your nugget and biting its head off.

"Nah, it's cool. Just didn't want my ass chewed by the devil woman." Ben said, glancing around hopefully for food, swiping a handful of nuggets from the tray. "You know, these are the best drunk food. Kid you not."

"Children." Ramsay tutted, rolling his eyes.

"Says the man with thirty boxes of Scooby-Doo gummy snacks." You said with a sly grin.

He shrugged, pushing his stool away from the bar and standing.

You finished the last of your food, "sweetheart, I enjoyed our dinner. Maybe we can do it again sometime. Maybe you can help me make pizza. I make really good pizza dough."

"The best." Alyn added, walking in, "right I'm out of here. Need to change tires. I'll be back sometime tonight. Don't plan on racing all night, but got some other shit to do."

"Like what?" Matt asked, walking in behind Alyn, swiping a soda off the counter.

"Your mom." Alyn chuckled, side stepping Matt's fist and shaking Ramsay's hand.

"Well, I'm going to go get dressed, I guess, while you three pregame." You said, sliding from your stool.

Ramsay slapped your ass as you walked past. You threw him a dirty look, heat rising in your face as Kaden giggled.

Halfway up the stairs you ran into Carmen.

"Have you seen my little one?" She asked.

"Him and I just finished dinner. He was still in the kitchen with Ben when I left." You smiled, pushing up the stairs.

You glanced out a window at a cloudy, twilit sky as you walked past.

"Whew. I'm getting too pregnant for this." You muttered, crossing your room to your closet. You glanced the dresses over with a small frown as the door clicked behind you. Grey fuzz and a tiny meow wound around your leg as you turned to see Ramsay standing there.

"There you are. I was beginning to worry you were lost somewhere." You said with a small smile, glancing down at Herman. You looked up at your husband, "what am I dressing for? Is it cold?"

"A bit of a chill in the air. Just be grungy. We are rich enough to afford that look without being looked down on." Ramsay shrugged, pulling his tie from over his head and tossing it on the bed.

You crossed over to him, slowly unbuttoning his shirt and kissing each bit of skin you exposed.

He drew a deep breath, resting his hands on your hips as you kissed across his chest. The cuts from the night before still hot and angry, yet scabbed over nicely... or as nicely as scabs and cuts went.

"How was work?" You asked, resting you cheek to his left breast and listening to his heartbeat.

"Fucking bullshit. Losing roughly twelve point five in sales, as everything burnt to the ground. Someone, and if I ever find out who, they are more than dead, set up some dodgy fucking insurance scam. So all building and replacing will come out of pocket. So that's easily another three to four months of lost income." He said bitterly.

"Yes, maybe... But, the bar opens next Saturday. And you've projected a decent amount of legit income from that." You said with an encouraging smile as you pulled away from him to find a pair of jeans and band tee.

"When is the last time you talked to Olyvar?" He asked, stepping into the closet with you, nudging the cat out of the way.

"Hmm... been a couple days. Why?" You said, grabbing a pair of jeans from a hanger.

"Just curious. You seem rather distant from him in the last few months." He shrugged, examining two pairs of jeans.

"We've all had a lot going on. He understands. But after the bar opens, we will be able to see one another a lot more." You said, sliding your pants down, and pulling your shirt off to change.

"Is it weird that I find you extremely fucking hot while you're pregnant?" He asked, running his eyes over you with a wolfish grin.

"I'm going to say no, for the sake of my self-esteem." You grinned, struggling to button your pants and finally giving up with a frustrated sigh.

Ramsay pulled you into him, nipping at your ear, "leave them like that. I will make it worth it."

"Is that so?" You purred, pushing a finger into his bare chest.

"Have I ever failed you yet, little mama?"

You gave an embarrassed grin, pulling a shirt from its hanger and sliding it over your head.

"How long do I have?" You asked, walking into the bathroom and crossing the cold marble floor to a vanity in the corner.

"Long as you want." Ramsay shrugged, leaning in the doorway and watching you as you plugged a curling iron in.

"Well, give me about thirty minutes and I will be ready." You said, looking at him through the mirror.

"Aye, aye." Ramsay hummed, pushing off the door frame and leaving.

×××

Ramsay helped you from the car, dropping the keys in the valet's hand and grabbed the teenager by the front of his shirt, "fuck her up at all and I will kill you. Literally." He growled, shoving the kid away from him.

"Y-yes sir." The kid nodded, eyes wide in fear, clutching the keys to his chest.

You grabbed Ramsay's hand and pulled him along, "stop being so grouchy."

Ramsay clucked, "I'm not grouchy, woman."

"Mhm, and I'm not almost six months pregnant." You replied, leading him to where Ben and Matt were leaning against a wall.

"Haven't seen that shirt in a minute." Ben said, glancing your shirt over.

You had chosen one of Ramsay's old band tees, as none of your shirts were long enough to hide the fact that your pants were unbuttoned and only halfway zipped.

"Yeah, guess I had left it in my closet when I left home. Shit ton of other things I forgot I had." Ramsay said, looking at the shirt with an almost uncharacteristically sad smile, that made you feel as though you should have chosen something else.

"Scorpions, man. Best concert ever. I miss Dame whistling 'Wind of Change'. He always did it at the worst times." Ben grinned with the same sad look.

You gave Matt a quick glance who gave you the same look. Two outsiders intruding on heartbreak.

Ramsay laced his fingers in yours and led you through the doors.

It was loud, dim, and you could feel the music drumming in your chest as people walked around wearing glow sticks and very revealing clothing.

You pulled Ramsay along with you to an empty table near the most vacant side of the club.

You made to sit but Ramsay pulled you into his lap as Matt and Ben waded through the crowd towards the bar.

You watched people dance, laugh, and shout at one another in loud, drunken voices as Ramsay rested his chin on your shoulder, occasionally biting at your neck.

Ben returned with a tray of shots, and a few moments later Matt returned with Tyene on his arm, who was closely followed by Obella.

You smiled brightly at them both and gave them brief one armed hugs.

Ben passed out the shots and Matt sat a glass of water in front of you as you shed your jacket, placing it in the empty chair beside you were a shot for Damon had been set.

"So glad you came. We have some news." Tyene said, sitting beside you and Ramsay.

"Well, spill the beans." You prompted, leaning forward to rest your elbows on the table as Ramsay ran his hand up the back of your shirt, tugging at your bra strap.

"Tyrion Lannister has been spotted, in the presence of some blonde. No one seems to know exactly who she is. Working on that. Cersei is going off the deep end. Really twisting the Tyrell's into doing all her dirty work. Heard she's about to put in for running for mayor", -Ramsay snorted into his glass- "Right? Anyways, Feds are crawling all over. Upturning every rock. Asking all kinds of questions to all kinds of people. Offering safety and amnesty for cooperation and shit. It's getting weird." Tyene finished by taking a long drink from Matt's glass.

"Maybe I should have Alyn drop the spot and not race tonight..." Ramsay said thoughtfully, glancing at his watch again.

You squirmed in discomfort as baby movements caught you unawares in the ribs.

"But you girls are safe? No problems from anyone?" You asked, glancing the club over and taking a sip of water.

"Not yet. Just a matter of time. With Papa's record, we will be targeted." Obella cut in.

You looked at the two girls and frowned, "keep your ears and eyes open, but don't engage in anything. Please. For your safety. The Boys and Kings can take care of the muscle. Report anything suspicious to me immediately. I will come by the shop tomorrow. I'm taking my soon to be sister in law dress shopping and all that jazz. Mostly I'm just ready to cake taste, but... whatevs."

"You didn't tell me that." Ramsay frowned, giving you a hard look and digging a nail into your back.

"Sorry baby. I guess I forgot. Kind of been a long few days." You said, offering an apologetic smile.

He merely clucked in annoyance, watching people walk by.

You leaned back into Ramsay who seemed to have melted into his chair as he continued to drink and light cigarette after cigarette.

"You okay?" You asked, kissing at his ear.

"Fine." He sighed, wrapping his arms around you, resting his hands on your belly.

"Liar." You hissed, grinding your ass into his pants.

He pushed his hips into you and let a smirk form.

"You are evil." He chuckled, sitting up straight and pulling you further back into him.

"I learned from the best." You winked, nipping the corner of his mouth.

"Have you found someone yet? I'm getting bored. This place blows."

"Bored? Well we can't have that now, can we?" You said, standing up and glancing around.

"What are you doing?" He asked, resting his elbows on the table and watching you through narrowed eyes.

"Making it a bit more fun." You grinned walking away into the crowd.

You glanced back to see Ramsay sitting there in momentary confusion before he rose from his seat, as someone bumped you in the arm.

You turned to see who it was. A very drunk man, who grabbed your arm painfully with a grin.

You looked at him in disgust and pulled away from him. You glanced him over quickly, taking his image in so you could find him later before pushing on further into the alcohol perfumed crowd.

You glanced around to find yourself alone in a group of strangers, all having a good time. It was hot and you quickly grew tired of people bumping into you, afraid someone may accidentally hurt your pregnant belly. You pushed through the crowd until the breathing air became a bit cooler, and moving space was more ample. You turned to give a sweeping glance over the crowd again, grinning in triumph that you had given your husband the slip.

You turned back around and stifled a small gasp as Ramsay pressed his lips harshly to yours.

"Nice try. But I believe you are now 'it'." He chuckled, pulling you in closer, and sliding his tongue in your mouth.

You closed your eyes, relaxing into him, running your tongue over his, tasting the alcohol and cigarette smoke.

He pulled away from you when you were both breathless.

"I found the man I want to kill." You panted, pulling him back in for another kiss.

"Show me." He murmured against your lips with a dark grin.

"I don't know where he went. But he's wearing a dark button up with a purple tie. Dark hair, grey eyes. Wearing a stupid smirk like he owns the goddamn place." You said, glancing around again.

"Dark shirt, purple tie. Got it." He hummed, tugging you back along to your table.

It was as if the heavens knew how to deliver, as the man sat at your table, having a seemingly good time with your girls, Ben, and Matt.

Ramsay caught your eye and you gave a tiny nod and shrug.

"And who is our friend here?" Ramsay asked in polite interest, eyes glittering in the thrill of the hunt.

"Names Cley. Cley Cerwyn." The man said, glancing you over again.

"Hm. That last name sounds familiar?" Ramsay said, pretending to take an interest and sitting at the table, pulling you possessively into his lap.

"Yeah, maybe. Family full of cops. My father worked a lot with Ned Stark and his son." Cley said with a nod.

Ramsay snapped his fingers and gave a mock gasp of shock, "that's right. I know your father. Or knew your father, rather. I stomped his fucking head in a couple months back. Real pain in the ass he was."

You watched the man stare dumbfounded at Ramsay, who motioned to Matt and Ben before the man could register what was going on.

"Let's go have a bit of fun." Ramsay smirked, sliding you from his lap as Ben seemed to do no more than pat the guy on the shoulder as he slumped forward, unconscious. Looking simply as a passed out drunk.

"Oh, I love when you do that." Ramsay chuckled, looking down at the man.

Ben gave a grin and a wink as you waved to Obella and Tyene.

×××

"Well, this is new." You said, glancing around the abandoned building.

"Just found it. Haven't used it yet. Just a run down apartment complex. Set to be demolished soon." Ramsay said, opening a door for you.

You entered the flat, glancing around the empty place bathed in the orange glare from the street light outside. It had the smell of a house that had been left to sit and rot. You glimpsed a mouse running across the floor to get away from you.

Ramsay grabbed your hand and tugged you into a small kitchen. The cabinets open, appliances gone, but the outline of them etched on the walls. Ramsay turned on the sink tap, grinning as the water came out. He had no doubt had the water turned on, ready to use this place at least once before it was gone. You assumed it to be like a tiny little hidden gem for him and his sick games. There sat a bucket, which Ramsay had grabbed up to start filling with water, and a simple wooden chair. On the floor beside the chair sat a box of surgical gloves, a flashlight, and a rusty looking knife.

You looked out the kitchen window, watching a stray dog forage through rotten garbage at an over flowing dumpster. You had never been to this side of town other than when Ramsay made you sit and wait in the Nova as he took care of some financial business.

"How, um... populated is this area?" You asked, looking back at Ramsay, who sat the bucket of water down.

He shrugged and lit a cigarette, "pretty dense. But if you're afraid of anyone hearing anything or seeing anything it's all for not. People around here don't trust cops and have a serious bystander effect disease. Nobody wants the cops over here. Too much illegal shit going on."

You simply nodded as Ben and Matt came in, dragging Cley along, depositing him in the chair, tying his hands behind him, and securing his legs to the legs of the chair.

"Thank you, Boys. You are both free to go." Ramsay said, running his eyes over the still unconscious man.

"You sure?" Ben asked, looking from man to Ramsay.

Ramsay nodded, "just be sure to leave the front door unlocked for me."

Ben chuckled, grabbed Matt by the elbow and they both disappeared into the dark.

You sat up on the counter as Ramsay flipped the flashlight on. He said nothing until a minute or two after you heard the front door close.

"What's up? I know you didn't want to do this for shits and giggles. You look ready to pass out any second with your pregnant ass." Ramsay said, lighting a cigarette and leaning against the counter you sat on.

You sighed, "you told me never to fuck up. So I won't. I never meant to. I just... I love you Ramsay. So I thought we could have a heart to heart while making hearts stop."

"You are just a bleeding romantic, aren't ya?" He laughed, exhaling smoke through his nose.

You gave a laugh, "Well, maybe a bit. But really baby, we need to talk."

"Fire away." He murmured, pulling gloves on and glancing over at the unconscious man.

"I spoke to your father today." You said meekly.

"Why?" He asked, picking up a bucket of water.

"Because I hate him and I'm tired of him hurting you." You said, sliding from the counter, pulling your own gloves, and picking up the knife.

"He doesn't hurt me, baby doll." Ramsay replied, dumping the bucket of water on the man, who awoke with a scream.

Cley's eyes were wide in fear as he struggled against his restraints, trying to make words but failing miserably.

"Yes he does, baby. Last night... When you were in there. I walked in. I was worried about you. I heard the things you said. The things he said. You were hurting and upset." You said gently, stuffing the man's mouth with a cloth you pulled from Ramsay's back pocket.

Ramsay turned to you and gave you a long, sweeping look through glittering eyes, taking the knife from you.

"Why are you telling me this?" He demanded, rosy patches appearing on his cheeks.

You gave a soft smile and stepped into him. You grabbed him by the front of the shirt and pressed your lips to his.

He did not kiss you back immediately, but you pressed your lips harder to his, sliding your tongue in his mouth. He opened his mouth under yours and cupped your face.

You pulled away from him when you were winded, looking up at him with the same soft smile, "I'm telling you because I love you. I'm tired, baby. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I'm no good at all this sneaky, secret keeping bullshit. I'm good at things like... cooking, and riding horses, and shooting skeet. I'm not stupid, but I am a bit slow. You're always going. And I don't understand how. Damon told me you had to or you get lost in your head. What does that mean?"

"Damon told you that, huh?" He said, raising a brow and turning to the man you two were supposed to be torturing.

"The day he brought those pictures. I think he knew something was wrong. Told me not to fuck up. Told me I'm the foundation and not to crack." You said, taking the knife from your husband, and pressing the blade to the man's chest to cut away his shirt.

"He just meant that I'm suicidal. Which is apparent. But sometimes it's hard for me to tell if I want to engage in self harm to feel the rush or to end the rush. I don't want to die, but I couldn't give a shit if I did." Ramsay shrugged, grabbing the knife back.

"Baby, what did your father do to you?" You asked, watching him lean over the man to slide the knife just under the skin.

Cley screamed out in pain, making violent movements and further damaging his skin as the knife hacked and sawed at him in his struggle. The blood came down thick and bright red, like a continuous stream from the sink tap.

"Why does it matter?" He asked, making a quick, complicated movement and peeling flesh from the man.

You looked away as an unpleasant queasiness set in.

"Please tell me. I want to understand. I want to help you heal, the healthy way."

"Torture I guess is about all that needs to be said." Ramsay said, slowly sawing at the skin where it was still attached to the body, and watching the piece of flesh fall to the ground.

"Like?" You coaxed, stepping behind him and wrapping your arms around him, closing your eyes tight, ignoring the screams of agony and torture.

"He beat me, raped me, burned me, shocked me, half drown me... You know, stupid shit." Ramsay shrugged.

You listened to the rumble of his chest with a deep frown.

"Why is he still alive?" You asked, a fresh wave of anger forming as you pulled away from Ramsay and took the knife from him, stabbing the man in the leg as he continued to beg and scream into the gag.

"Because, now I get to force my company on him, and he has to endure twenty seven years worth of lost time with his youngest son." Ramsay smirked, biting his bottom lip as he watched you wrench the knife from the man's leg.

"I'm going to kill him. I am." You said, baring your teeth and pointing the knife at your husband.

"Oh?" Ramsay asked with a wicked grin.

You sat in a chair, ready to recount your encounter, thinking next time you would just record it. If there was a next time.

You took a deep breath and began your story.

He made a face, lit a cigarette, and turned back to the man who seemed to have passed out in pain. He made a small tsking noise and pushed the bucket to you.

You picked it up to fill it at the sink, watching him out of the corner of your eye as he listened to you recite the conversation from today with Roose. His face remained impassive and no emotion registered as you struggled with the heavy bucket.

He glanced at you, stepping in to take the bucket from you. Your words had long since ended, but he remained silent as he dumped the water on the victim, sat down on the bucket, and pushed a burning cigarette cherry into an open wound.

You watched the man scream and writhe in pain, trying to get away from Ramsay, tears streaking his face.

If carving skin could be considered an art, Ramsay Bolton would surely have been the Leonardo Da Vinci at it. Even with his dull, rusty blade, he seemed to cut through the flesh like sharp scissors to wrapping paper.

He offered you the knife but you declined with a small smile, assuring him that this victim was for him to play with, and you would help him with the next one.

You looked down in surprise when your phone rang, and even more surprised when you read Chase.

You stepped out into the next room, "hello?"

"Hey, I'm working nights this week. And one of the guys said I missed the excitement earlier. So I asked what was up, right? Two feds came in. Took all the case information on Clay's death and also wanted a gander at courthouse records on who bought all the land around here in the last few months." Chase blurted quickly.

You frowned, "any idea what their names were?"

"No. But I'll text it to you. Stay safe."

"Always. You too. Keep me posted. Oh! And you and the whole gang better be here next Saturday night." You said before hanging up.

You slid your phone back in your pocket and walked back into the room. With a purposeful stride you walked over to Ramsay, took his knife, and gutted your victim.

"Hey! What did you do that for? I was having fun." Ramsay chided, giving you a very displeased glare.

"We need to go home." You said, annoyed you couldn't keep your voice steady.

"What's wrong?" Ramsay asked, narrowing his eyes at you.

"Chase just called. Said some Feds came by the station to get information on Clay's death and got the information about who has bought all the land in the surrounding area. I'm afraid it's those Lannister men." You said, heaving a sigh and pinching the bridge of your nose, "what if they connect it all to us? What if they threaten my parents?"

"Baby girl, they can't possibly connect us. Yes, some of the purchased land is in my name, but there's nothing suspicious about that. It's your hometown, we are rich, of course I'm going to buy up land there for you. It's clean land. Nothing on it but a couple of houses that need demolished. I've covered my tracks." Ramsay said, taking the knife from you and giving a sad glare at the dead man.

"Still, if they are Lannister's, they know." You said, fear setting in at the thought of your parents.

"We will go home and clean up and I will see what's going on." Ramsay said, kissing your cheek as he walked past you to the door. He suddenly stopped, turned, and beamed at you with a mischievous grin.

"What?" You asked, raising a brow.

"You. You're funny. It's like you have a vendetta against men with the name Clay." He chuckled.

You looked over at Cley, his insides slowly pushing themselves further out of his gut, and gave a shrug. "Yeah, maybe so. Fucking douchebags. Now, let's go home. I'm fucking tired."

#guns for hire #gfh #kee_writestrashh #AO3 fanfic #chapter 52 #52/90 #ramsay bolton x reader #modern ramsay bolton #ramsay bolton imagine #modern au #Modern Setting #modern game of thrones #game of thrones fanfic #game of thrones fanfiction #game of thrones au #mafia au #organized crime au #ramsay things #ramsay is his own warning

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ofdearing · 6 years

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WE HIT PIN LIMIT AGAIN SO WE GOTTA CLEAR IT - DINOFAM PIN SENTENCE STARTERS warning for incredibly nsfw content and referencing of dark topics like murder, feel free to change names when needed.

THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

he just spontaneously combusted in panic

HAD to talk to owen about the bra found in his room and accidently set the room on fire

Yes, wine makes bella very slutty just ask Dick

bella ‘pink wine makes me slutty’ grady

owen ‘really aging into my personality’ grady

owen: you’re dating me bella: excuse she could be dating me instead claire: why not both?

sharing is clairing keeley

om f g DICK PUT YOURSELF AWAY

I wish I could dip my whole life in canes sauce

I just googled what’s the weirdest thing a turkey has done

sad day, make you mad monday, tear your heart out tuesday, watch you weep wednesday, therapy inducing thursday,fuck you up friday, and sadder day

maybe shane madej was who we were all along

pigeons don’t have dicks

wanna, uh, find the chaos theory in my pants?

CLAIRE HAS HAD OWEN’S DICK ON LOCKDOWN FOR OVER THREE YEARS

She got that higher power pussy

Very aware, Much ascend

I’d like to do a father exchange

everyone: praises bella’s existance keeley: yeah i might kill her off

I’ll get back to normal rage eventually

and yet u supplied the head

listen, you cant plan for it murder just happens to people sometimes

im sure my friend would gladly be fertiliser

listen theres about to be a murder if they continue this

claire sees a lot of ass

What light through yonder backboard breaks. It is the east and Juliet is the ball

owepigeon is a fucking nightmare but i support him

can you even read

I hate this server

I heard Owen Grady fucking sucks dick. That Owen Grady is a wood pecker

owen grady pecks wood

I love that little fucker

I don’t know, consult the oracle.

the whole cult thing is really sold on that many of us have the same face

hey guys i’m looking for a good cult to join, i heard they are really loving and the killing is a plus. any ideas?

DINOFAM IS THE CULT FOR YOU

i’m just here for the cult shit

jesus wants to hill that little bitch

I WOULD KILL HIM

if rachel could meet anyone living or dead it’d be stanley kubrick

SAVE THE DRINKS WORRY ABOUT THE DINOS LATER

jurassic world is for alcoholics now folks

there’s going to be so much drinking on my park

hill him by your dead

by my dead

hill him

#game time. ( memes )#woooo

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adultswim2021 · 3 years

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Sealab 2021 #44: “Return of Marco” | December 12, 2004 – 11:45PM | S04E11

Another unfunny waste of time from our friends at Sealab. In this one, Marco returns. The show seems eager to explain why there was a corpse at his funeral (made of mashed potatoes according to a scene early on), but kinda sidesteps the previously established cause of death, getting eaten by a shark. Most of the show is told via flashback as a story Marco is telling explaining why he was gone for the last 4 episodes or whatever. I’m genuinely curious why they went with the killing him off route and didn’t just have a handful of episodes he simply wasn’t in or didn’t have a speaking role. A similar thing happened with MC Chris in season 2, when they gave him a tearful goodbye but then just brought him back. Do these people not realize that this show sucks and only morons could care about something like a cast change? This is some “Where’s Poochie?” type of bullshit.

Anyway: This one has a lot of belabored meaningless zany bits. None of it is particularly bad, but none of it is good or up the standards of professional comedy writing. I feel like I say some version of this every single Sealab, but it really is amateurish and lazy. My friend London said in a group chat that Adam Reed was the most high-school brained guy in the world. I’ve been resisting the urge to just steal that quote. There! I’ve attributed it! I DID MY JOB AS A JOURNALIST.

So it turns out that Marco got caught in a bear trap that was on the ocean floor, escaped, and then wound up selling shaved ice in Hawaii, which by sheer chance a small amount of googling lead me to an interview where Erik Estrada actually says he sold snow cones when he was 5 years old. Autobiographical! WOW!

This episode ends with a bit where Marco and Debbie lip-sync this song. Actually in the episode they’re supposed to be singing it, but the show just uses the recording. I remember this bit being repurposed for promos at some point, I believe BEFORE this episode aired. From what I understand the origin of this piece actually came from the original pitch pilot for Sealab; at the end of the tape they sent to Cartoon Network they just included a short stand-alone bit where the two characters duet using this song. For all I know, they just used the same exact footage from 1999 or whatever. I forget where I heard this, but I think it was Adam Reed’s Adult Swim Podcast appearance. Word was that Cartoon Network was cold on the pilot but liked the music video portion enough to consider giving them a show.

MAIL BAG

can you do a quick hit review of Angela Anaconda?

What the hell? I’d rather suck a dick

Did you like it when people would use "Toodles" as a sign off?

You know what? My knee-jerk reaction was “NO!” but I mediated on the matter (using spirituality) and I’m honestly not mad at it, it’s just distinctly a thing I would never say myself as a sign off and I need to get better at knowing the difference between things I don’t like and things I wouldn’t do. My preferred sign off is to say “SIGNING OFF!” and then throwing my hat at whoever I’m speaking to. I go through a lot of hats

Toodle Day from Tom, Jeff Goldblumangroup from Awesome Show, and the Schlaang Seat ad at the start of Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie. Is that it? Is that all the jeff we got. Is that guy cancelled for having sex with teens? Teens!?! HE'S FUCKING...TEENS?! He's great in Jurassic Park though.

Is he fucking teens? I remember there was “huh bub” about his impending cancellation but I don’t remember cancellation actually happening. He’s fucking teens??? who is he.... NOT Tim?

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #sealab 2021

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shamelessly4shameless-blog · 7 years

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130lb of Ukrainian Courage (pt11)

Lip arrives as Ian is blending a breakfast smoothie for Yevgeny and adding a dash of nutmeg to Mickey’s coffee pot. Ian doesn’t have a chance to say more than hello before Lip is pushing past him, storming into the house

“MICKEY! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, ASSHOLE?”

“Lip! What the fuck?”

Ian grabs his irate brother’s jacket and tries to haul him back. Ordinarily Ian overpowers Lip easily, he is taller and outweighs him by thirty pounds since Lip took to his latest detox. Today though, fury is propelling Lip forward and Ian merely slows his step.

“MICKEY!”

The sound of feet hitting the floor upstairs makes both men look up. Ian grabs hold of Lip’s arm properly and hisses

“Yevgeny is up there!”

“Then tell that fuc… You!”

Lip lunges forward as Mickey appears on the stairs. He is in a tank top and a pair of what are clearly Ian’s jeans from the way they bunch loosely at Mickey’s ankles.

“What the fuck are you yellin’ about, shithead?”

Mickey is rubbing sleep from his eyes as he comes down the stairs but his body is thrumming with readiness for a fight. Ian places himself between his brother and boyfriend, hands raised defensively

“Lip, what the fuck is going on?”

“I’d like to know that too.”

Mickey’s fists are curled gently by his side, top lip twisted upwards in a challenging sneer. Lip is all clenched jaw and huge eyes. Neither looks at all impressed with the display of the other, but Mickey is on home turf and his blood is getting hotter with every second Lip stares at him.

“Cat got your fuckin’ tongue, Philip?”

“You’re a piece of shit.”

Lip spits and Mickey pushes forward aggressively, relenting only slightly as Ian firmly presses his palm against his chest.

“Mick – don’t. Yev is upstairs.”

Blue eyes flick briefly toward Ian and then back to Lip.

“Yeah, and he just got woken up with a nasty fuckin’ start, so why don’t we go outside?”

Lip nods curtly and both exit the house, brushing roughly past Ian.

“Dad? What’s going on?”

Yev is peering around the banister, his bottom lip caught anxiously between his teeth.

“Papa and Uncle Lip are working something out.”

Ian hurries up the stairs, smiling brightly as he lifts Yevgeny and carries him through to the kitchen. Whatever is going on outside is going to happen with or without him and Yev is his priority for the moment.

“What is it? They sound really mad.”

“I’m not actually too sure, here, drink your smoothie.”

Ian sits Yev on the kitchen counter and hands him a plastic beaker of banana and blueberry, extra honey because Yev seems to have an almost inhuman tolerance for sweetness. There are muffled shouts coming from outside.

“I’ll be right back, buddy. Stay there.”

Ian kisses Yev’s forehead and hands him his phone, already unlocked with one of the many brightly coloured games Ian has downloaded for him, flashing on the screen.

He walks as calmly as he can across the room and gives Yev a cheery wave as he opens the front door and steps out. Ian closes the door lightly behind him, the smile on his lips turning to a round ‘O’ of shock as he sees Mickey straddling Lip on the ground, hands wrapped around his throat.

“JESUS!”

Ian is down the steps in an instant. He doesn’t allow himself time to think about it too much, just take aim and boots Mickey in the ass hard enough to knock him off Lip’s chest.

“The fuck, Ian?”

Mickey grabs his right cheek and hobbles upright, turning to glower at both Gallagher’s. He starts to move in again and Ian holds up a warning finger.

“No! Whatever is going on … Hey! I said no, Mickey.”

Mickey sucks his teeth but stops his advance, swaying on the spot and rolling his shoulders. Ian is reminded of the Raptor scene in Jurassic World, the hero holding the dinosaurs at bay with sheer force of will, unsure how long his command would hold before he’d get his face ripped off.

He almost laughs but then Lip is sitting up, coughing and trying to haul his stupid, stubborn ass off the ground.

“Just fucking stay down. Save yourself the embarrassment.”

Ian snaps irritably.

The words are carefully chosen and have the desired effect on both men.

Lip spits to the side and folds his arms lightly around his knees, logic prevailing over blood-lust.

Mickey preens, chest puffing out, smirking slightly at Ian’s obvious faith in his ability to kick Lip’s ass.

“Did you win, Papa?”

Yev calls from the porch. He is holding his little league baseball bat uncertainly in one hand and his smoothie in the other a small concerned frown creasing his brow. Mickey gives him a thumbs up and nods, grinning broadly

“Yeah buddy, sure did.”

Ian rolls his eyes skyward and makes an exasperated gesture

“Yev, will you go back inside please? And put the bat away.”

“But ...”

“IN!”

Ian yells and Yev disappears swiftly. Ian doens’t often yell but when he does, both Milkovich’s tend to comply, though the larger one is a little less predictable.

“Even my kid knows he could fuck you up, asshole. He’s seven.”

Mickey gives Lip a bored look and shakes his head elaborately at the shame of such a thing. Lip snorts and wipes a bloody string of snot from his nose

“You must be so proud.”

Ian is getting to the end of his patience with both of them and his nerves are shot.

“What the Hell is going on?”

“Your brother thinks I messed your face up, because apparently some shit-stain he knows saw us at the ice cream store and thought my way of making up for a beat down would be to get you a double scoop of fuckin’ pistachio.”

Lip shrugs and stands up slowly, eyeing Mickey as if expecting another rumble.

“Yeah pretty much. But apparently it wasn’t him.”

“Apparently.”

Mickey spits, voice dripping with sarcasm. Lip ignores him and turns to Ian, eyebrows raised expectantly.

“So what the fuck happened to you?”

Ian glances to Mickey who folds his arms and blinks slowly, raising one shoulder a fraction. It is Ian’s call and Mickey will back up whatever he chooses to say, truth or not.

Ian weighs his options. He is not about to go into everything with Lip in the middle of the yard, the curtains are already twitching after his scuffle with Mickey. More than that, Yev might not be in plain sight but he’s near by. Ian glances back to the house and sure enough a scuff of blue converse quickly tucks out of view behind the door.

“We’re dropping Yev off after breakfast, if you wanna come by, we can talk. All of us. Like adults.”

Ian divides his gaze equally between his brother and his lover as he says this and both shift their eyes away from his.

“Sure. Sure, I can do that.”

Lip nods and glances across at Mickey.

“Sorry I thought it was you.”

“Sorry I kicked your ass.”

Lip accepts the painfully insincere apology as his due and turns to his little brother, opening his arms and smiling as Ian steps easily into his embrace

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. See you later, alright?”

They slap backs and Lip staggers back toward his car, massaging his throat.

Mickey sniffs dismissively after him and turns to Ian, lips lightly compressed in a frown

“Your brother is a dick.”

“I know. But did you have to strangle him?”

“No, felt good though. Or at least it did until some other prick treated my ass like a damn football.”

Ian’s lip curls in a small smile and he snakes an arm around Mickey’s tense shoulders, drawing him in against his side.

“I know what that ass can handle.”

“Fuck off. Now is not the time for your randy macho bullshit.”

Mickey says irritably but his tone is light and Ian risks a kiss to his temple, which Mickey accepts with a small grunt.

“We need to have talk with Yev about that bat.”

Ian muses, stroking Mickey’s arm lightly, working his thumb into the knotted muscles around his collar bone in just the right way to make Mickey forget his annoyance.

“Mmm. Yeah, fine. I’ll do it.”

“Yeah?”

Ian raises his eyesbrows in mild surprise. Mickey is pretty good with on the spot discipline but planning out talks is not really his style.

“Yeah, he comes out the house with that little thing, only pussies like your brother are gonna think twice. He needs to get my steel one.”

“No.”

Ian says flatly, pressing his index finger against Mickey’s lips.

“Wrong direction, Mick.”

“What? You thinking a gun maybe?”

Mickey mumbles around Ian’s finger, eyes wide and innocent. For a moment Ian scowls at him and then he realises he is having his balls busted and he flicks Mickey’s chin gently.

“Dick.”

“Asshole.”

Yev is reluctant to go home. He clings to Mickey with unaccustomed neediness that Ian feels instantly a little jealous of and then immediately foolish for being jealous of such a thing. Mickey for his part seems completely unsure of what to do with the extra attention and frowns as Yev clambers onto his lap at the breakfast table.

“Come on, man. How am I gonna eat with you in the way?”

“I’ll move when your eggs are done.”

Yev states firmly and wraps his arms around Mickey’s chest, pressing his cheek against his father’s shirt. Mickey’s tongue appears briefly as he battles impatience but after a moment he settles his hand on Yev’s back and leans back in his chair so the kid isn’t crushed between him and the table edge.

“Can I stay over tonight?”

Yev doesn’t lift his face up and Mickey seeks out Ian’s eyes over the top of his head.

Ian nods and gives a small shrug.

“You’ll have to ask your Mom but yeah, if she’s okay with it.”

“Can you text her?”

“Nah, go call.”

“I’ll do it in a minute.”

Yev mumbles, tightening his grip on his Papa. Ian plates up Mickey’s eggs and carries them over, a small frown between his brows.

“You okay, Yev? Feeling sick or something?”

“No. Just happy here.”

Yev is normally a chatty kid but like Mickey, when he is feeling a strong emotion he tends to go quiet, using his words sparingly and Ian strokes his hair, a little worried. Mickey tries to manoeuvre his son out of the way so he can eat but Yev refuses to budge and short of actually putting him on the floor Mickey isn’t sure what to do, so he sits and watches the steam rise from his untouched plate.

“Is this a thing now? You just gonna hang out here on my lap forever?”

Yev shrugs and Mickey grimaces at Ian. He is pretty much out of his incredibly limited child psychology and normally if Yev feels clingy it is Ian he goes all weird limpet- child on. Ian takes a seat besides them both and rubs gentle circles on Yevgeny’s back, putting his face on Yev’s level.

“You wanna sit with me while Papa eats his breakfast?”

Blue eyes blink at Ian suspiciously and Ian gives his most encouraging smile and holds out his arms. Yev seems to decide that this is not a trick of some sort and reluctantly lets go of Mickey, shifting himself onto Ian and then latching on just as tightly.

“What’s up? You can tell me.”

Ian keeps up his smile and the little comforting circles and waits. Mickey stays silent, his own version of patient support.

“You both keep getting beat up.”

Yev says at last. He doesn’t let go but with the words out he loosens his grip a little and glances up at his Dad.

“Oh, yeah, no. It’s just been a bad couple of days.”

It sounds lame even to Ian and Mickey gives him a quick frown, letting him know that it most definitely sounded lame.

“We’ll be more careful, okay?”

“Even Uncle Lip wanted to beat Papa up. Why?”

Yev is warming to his theme and Mickey hastily scoops some of the semi-warm egg into his mouth, realising they could be here a while.

“Uncle Lip thought I beat Dad up. He was just protecting his brother.”

“But you wouldn’t beat Dad up!”

“No, I wouldn’t. Uncle Lip is an idiot and he got … confused.”

Mickey manages to make the word ‘confused’ sound as dirty as a profanity and Ian tilts his head, giving Mickey a vexed look.

“So who did? And why?”

“Some asshole who shouldv’e known better. And he did it because … because he was jealous of Dad, I think.”

Mickey looks directly at Yevgeny as he says this, not daring to look at Ian.

Ian swallows and holds Yev a little tighter. He and Mickey haven’t spoken about Terry’s motives beyond blind hate. Ian hasn’t had the head space to think about them himself and he wonders when exactly Mickey has been mulling this over. If it is new, or an old train of thought dragged into focus because of the events of the last week.

“Why?”

“Because,”

Mickey pauses to fork more egg into his mouth, chew and swallow and then pushes the barely touched plate away. Yev reaches out to go back onto Mickey’s lap but Mickey ignores his outstretched arms discreetly.

“Because Dad is everything that person didn’t like. Dad is good and decent, honest … pretty.”

Mickey flicks his eyes up and gives Ian a small flash of smile at the last word.

“People don’t like what they don’t understand, this guy never understood your Dad.”

“Oh. Well … does he understand him now?”

Yev has no idea how loaded that question is. Even Ian can’t fully understand.

*Dad, please don’t … *

The gun barrel dipping the tiniest bit and Terry half glancing toward Mickey, not stopping but paused for a mere second. It was a second more consideration than he had ever given his youngest son before and Mickey wishes he could forget it.

He winces slightly, a nerve by his right eye jumping, but nods bravely and gives a short, heavy exhalation.

“Yeah, Bud. He understood in the end. At least a little bit.”

Ian has no clue what the fuck that is referring to and he tries to read Mickey’s expression for answers but that old mask of indifference is firmly in place and Ian can’t see around the edges.

“Does Uncle Lip understand too?”

The question breaks the storm of Mickey’s memory and he blinks a couple of times before grinning, his expression softening.

“Uncle Lip never understands shit. But he’s family so we put up with him.”

Ian bounces Yev on his lap lightly and smooths his hair back from his face

“So you don’t need to worry about anything, okay?”

“Can I stay anyway?”

“This is your home, you’re always welcome, silly!”

Ian smiles and Yev’s lip quirks upwards slightly.

“I’ll call Mom.”

He slides off Ian’s lap and takes the cellphone Ian offers him, wandering into the other room as he has seen people do to make important calls.

Both his father’s know that this isn’t a simple fix. Yev isn’t a baby and he isn’t stupid. Like most kids in South Side he has seen and heard far more than his parents would like but he is only just starting to reach the age where he really observes it. Ian thinks of the baseball bat on the porch and his heart sinks a little. He and Mickey talk about college. Svetlana speaks of the jobs Yevgeny will have the opportunity to apply for. Mickey gives Yev a small allowance to put him off stealing candy. They do little things but they are going to need to do more.

He thinks of Lip barging in and is suddenly pissed of in a major way. Neither of them are bad father’s, Svetlana isn’t a bad mother. Why the fuck can’t they manage to shield him from this crap?

“South Side, man.”

Mickey is watching the play of emotions on Ian’s face and he shrugs, a rueful little gesture full of quiet understanding.

“Sometimes I hate it.”

Ian says quietly and Mickey nods in understanding.

“He’ll be fine. We’re doing okay, you know? He’s great.”

“He is. He deserves so much, Mick.”

“And we give what we fuckin’ can. Don’t get all mopey and shit on me.”

Mickey takes his half eaten breakfast over to the sink, pausing to kiss Ian’s head and squeeze his shoulder lightly.

“Text Philip and tell him to meet us at the park. Yev needs to let off some steam.”

Ian nods and sighs grateful for the plan. He waits for Yev to bring his phone back and texts his brother.

#shameless #shameless us #shameless fanfiction #shameless imagine #ian gallagher #ian x mickey #Ian loves Mickey #mickey milkovich #Mickey x Ian #yevgeny milkovich #Milkovich #Gallagher #Gallavich #Gallavich Love #130lb of ukrainian courage

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fighter-paladin · 7 years

Text

Matt Post vine Roleplay starters

“I’m gonna make a murder of the person who made this happen!” “Shouldn’t firetrucks technically be called water trucks?” “Why does he not have to wear a shirt?” “This is his fucking house,” “Then it’s gonna be my house,” “Life was starting to make sense but then there was a jar of rice at the bus stop for some reason,” “That was a fucking sneeze?” “Man I’m alright with giving you money but what is the bowl for?” “Yeah let’s stop talking about a guy that might be dead,” “How are we gonna win if we fucking die?” “Everyone I know keeps dying,” “Come on ___ it’s not like you killed somebody,” “Stop sneaking into my house!” “Wait I need this job! No I don’t, yes I do,” “What is this a murder weapon?! Then get off my dick!” “That was said really fucking wrong I am so sorry,” “Can I pay you in four slivers of wood?” “Does play-doh have an expiration date?” “What am I gonna need you to fix the fence at Jurassic Park?” “I’ve been peeing in the kitchen sink by accident,” “Stop stop! You want people thinking I suck dick? It’s about goddamn time,” “Stop stop! I look like a fucking train wreck, that’s exactly what I wanted,” “Oh that’s nice. I hope he dies. In a fire,” “Not the dickhead. What do you want me to say?” “Everyone put your hands in the…air,” “Another me is growing out of my nipple,” “I have made up my mind! I will be the first man on the sun!” “Hey! Relax! Get comfortable, put your foot on my balls,” “This is all gonna be fucked by next year you guys know this right?” “Making shirts for bottles…when there are children…in 3rd world countries?” “Ah he’s wiggling it! I give up I give up I give up!” “Ow! I was gonna tell you you didn’t have to fucking punch me,” “What do you mean you just lost an arm!?” “There are pigs dressed as cops outside?” “Shut up! Who do you thi-have you told anyone!?” “Hands up if you wanna ride at noon!”

#roleplay #roleplay meme #starter memes

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mirkwoodshewolf · 7 years

Text

A Surprise for the Alpha; Owen Grady x sister reader

This was my first ever oneshot for Owen Grady after I had seen Jurassic World so I apologize in advance if it sucks. Also this was written before I ever got the DVD for it so the quotes aren’t the same and even when I got the DVD I was too lazy to rewrite this so I hope you all understand, if not then just get out of here I’m serious *shows readers the door*. I promise there will be better ones coming up in just a few short minutes (mainly child/teen ones) but anyways I hope you enjoy it :) Now as usualy I do NOT own JW it belongs to Universal and Spielberg.

______________________________________________________

It started off as a normal day in Isla Nublar. The sun was shining, the dinosaurs were at work and guests kept pouring in from all over the world, and one guest in particular had come and would give a certain brother a big surprise while she was visiting Jurassic World.

*Raptor enclosure*

A pig was in the enclosure just sniffing out for food completely unaware that it was being hunted itself. A twig snapped then the pig ran squealing as a Raptor chased it soon followed by another coming out from the side herding it towards the right and then another two came in front herding it towards the left. The four raptors chased the pig until it disappeared behind a closed door.

The raptors then began to chirp and hiss at each other for the failed catch when they heard a clicking sound above them.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Blue don't give me shit! Charlie, Echo. Eyes up here!" Three of the raptors listened to the man above them but the one of them did not and was trying to get the others back into hunting mode. "Hey Blue. Blue don't you! Don't you dare! Eyes here!" He used his clicker again. The raptor known as Blue finally looked up at the Alpha above her and obeyed stubbornly. "Yeah that's it girls. That's it. Now here's your prizes". He then took out a freezer mouse and cried out each other their names as he tossed each one of them a mouse. As the raptors scattered now, the man known as Owen Grady aka the Raptor Boy sighed deeply and said. "Sometimes I wish that Blue would drop her attitude and listen for once".

"I guess she gets that from her mother huh?" Owen grinned as he turned to his other fellow Raptor trainer Barry and said.

"Yeah, she and (y/n) were always close with each other, and she always was stubborn, even growing up as kids she was a bit of a hot-head". Owen took out his phone and looked through his pictures to see one of him and his sister just shortly before she left the park.

"How is she doing lately? Ever since the uhh—"

"Well the divorce has been final for a couple of months now, and I understand why she still needs to have some peace from all this, but I still worry about that kid".

"Hey cheer up Owen, maybe soon she'll visit". Barry assured his friend with a gentle brotherly pat on the shoulder. Owen nodded then they both went back to work.

As Owen was complaining of how the Chief wanted to use his girls as weapons of war, the alarms went off as one of the workers fell through the enclosure trying to catch the pig who had escaped it's pin and went into the raptor enclosure yet again.

Just before the worker got eaten by Blue and Delta, and just before Owen could enter the enclosure, a figure suddenly came out and stood between the worker and the two raptors wearing a mask and a bulked up suit and wielding an old Indian-style like staff.

*My POV*

As I came up to the raptor enclosure ready to surprise my brother Owen by entering through the back way of the enclosure, the alarms came off for 'Animal escape' and I happened to have heard a man screaming as he probably must've fallen into the pin. I knew I only had seconds before the girls had found fresh food in the enclosure so I put on my mask, uniform and grabbed my staff and ran as fast as I could toward the sound of where Blue and the others were running toward.

I then managed to stand between Blue and Delta just before they could kill the young worker.

I stared both of them down with my staff up waving and twirling it around to distract them. But when I took notice of Charlie coming up from my left I held my staff out in front of her stopping her in her tracks from getting any closer to the worker. I kept my eyes on all three of them as they hissed and softly growled at me.

I then twirled my staff around then slammed it on the ground causing my "raptor bells" (as I called them) to jingle within the holes of my staff which the scientists had told me it would be like another raptor talking to them to stand down and not attack. It worked on Charlie and Delta but my stubborn Blue wasn't falling for it.

I knew she wanted special attention even from me. I set down my staff as I had seen the Delta and Charlie had submitted to my demands, then I crouched down and walked animal like towards Blue as I held my hand out slowly towards her. She hissed as she got down into attack position but as I turned my hand around her pupils dilated and she submitted to me, allowing me to stroke her head and down her back even down towards her tummy.

As soon as I heard the gate open and the worker was out thanks to my brother he called out to me,

"Okay come on!" I picked up my staff and slowly walked out of the pin as my girls watched me carefully letting me know that even though they submit this time, if I turn my back, I'm theirs. "You know that was pretty dangerous considering it's been a year since you hadn't done that. You're lucky they still remember you". I turned toward my brother and took off my mask and said.

"Oh ha-ha very funny trying to scare me Owen".

He and I smirked at each other then hugged each other and he said.

"Ahh it's great to see you again (y/n). How's my best girl doin?"

"Oh so I'm now your best girl? What about Blue?"

"Please you've always been my best girl, even when you dress in that ridiculous outfit just to talk to our girls". I punched him hard on the arm making him cry out in pain.

"That didn't hurt you big baby!"

"Yes it did!"

"Oh grow up you!"

"Okay, okay that's enough you two, but in all things (y/n) it is good to see you again". Barry said to me. He and I hugged each other as I kissed his cheek sisterly then I said to the newbie as I saw Delta stalking up toward the cage.

"Oh and new guy I'm assuming?" He nodded. "Never turn your back toward the cage". As Owen, Barry and I walked away he turned to see Delta right up in his face panting with her hands against the cage with a face that said 'God I really wanna eat you right now!' He jumped backward screaming and got as far away from the cage as possible.

I got out of my uniform and Barry allowed Owen the rest of the day off to catch up with me back over at his place. Owen and I hopped on his motorbike and we drove off to his 'pad'.

By sunset, he was drinking a few beers while I was drinking some water to re-hydrate myself.

"So (y/n) how's life been treating you?"

"Oh well, funny story Owen, I uhh.....I actually came here to tell you something".

"What's wrong you okay?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah, I mean I'm great actually, I'm—"

"Wait, wait I wanna guess!" Owen stood up and paced around the room. "You found yourself a new guy?"

"Well yes I did".

"Damnit I was hoping that wouldn't be it. Anyways who is this boy and is he treating you so much better than that other dumbass was?"

"Yes he is and please Owen don't even try to mention that guy I'm—I'm still hurting from that".

"You're right, you're right I'm sorry kid" he hugged me and rubbed my back comfortingly. I leaned against my brother's shoulder and tried to keep my emotions intact but unfortunately some tears came down my face and landed on Owen's neck. "Hey, hey shhh. Don't cry now you hear me? Eyes up here". I rolled my eyes at him for using his Alpha commands to me but in my weeping state he used them in his big teddy bear brother voice.

I looked up at him as he gently wiped my tears away he said.

"(Y/n), that guy was a dick. He blew off a really great girl, and hey, maybe you could bring your ex-husband down here and I can have a talk with him long with our girls huh?" I softly giggled knowing my brother and my girls would do anything for me. "There's that (y/n) Grady smile I've been waiting for, now I wanna hear that famous (y/n) Grady laugh". His eyes turned mischievous and he smiled his evil smile.

"No, no Owen don't you dare!" I ran out but he chased after me and caught me in just a matter of seconds and started to tickle me. After what felt like forever, he finally stopped and kissed my forehead lovingly.

"Alright, into bed young lady. I'm wanting you to come help me with Blue's stubbornness since I'm almost at my wits end with her".

"So the 'Great Alpha Owen Grady' needs my help" I mocked in shock and gasped mockingly.

"Don't push it, or the Tickle Raptor will get you again". He held out his hands like claws and wiggled them as I begged to him.

"Alright, alright, alright I'll go. I'll go, but please no more tickle raptor". Owen grinned his shit eating grin then said as he went upstairs.

"G'night (y/n)".

"G'night Owen". I set myself up in my own room downstairs as I got myself ready I began to regret not telling him my real news. And going back into work may not be such a good idea, I could've died in there if I hadn't worn that thick winter suit but it was the only thing I had that could protect me from the girls' claws and teeth from getting near my skin.

The next few days weren't too bad, I helped with Blue's stubbornness and got reacquainted with my babies, especially my little Blue. It seems that raptors are smarter than some people lead on to believe, because each of my girls especially Blue would come up to me and gently nuzzle and sniff my stomach. Blue especially was the one most protective of me and would hiss and snap at the other three if she felt like they were going to do harm to me and my little surprise.

I sat down on one of the logs deep within the thick jungles of the enclosure hiding and trying to figure a way how to explain to Owen my big news. I was also worried of how he would react.

I mean everytime I brought in a boy growing up, Owen went all Military guy on them and if he didn't take this news too well, he'd probably kill my current boyfriend, and he's already prepared and ready to make sacrifices to make sure that we're taken care of.

It was then I heard purring from beside me. I turned to see Blue standing behind me with her head lowered down towards me.

"Hey B, how you doin girl?" I stroked and scratched her behind her ear making her tilt her head and purr louder. After her scratch, she laid down beside me and nuzzled my stomach again and nipped at my shirt gently. "Hey, easy girl. I can't upset my little egg inside, I wouldn't do it to you so don't you do it to me". Blue looked up at me and could tell I was worried about something.

Clever girl she was.

That's why she's the Beta of the pack.

"Oh Blue, I just don't know how I'm going to tell Owen, he already risked me coming in here to help train you and your sisters, not that I'm not happy I've missed all four of you so much, but I—I really like this guy, how do I tell Owen without him going all 'Mr. Soldier guy?'" Blue purred and nuzzled my cheek and softly licked away a tear that was coming down my face. She then huddled closer to me so that my back was up against hers and she shielded me with her tail and arms around me.

My girl always looking out for me.This is why she's my baby.

If she's ever stubborn to Owen, she's sweet to me and loyal to the both of us.

*FF to 2 weeks ahead*

The next 2 week came and I finally decided to put my foot down and tell Owen my news that I had been so afraid to tell him of and assure him it was alright, but to get him to stay and focus I was going to need help.

Just before closing time of the park and as the workers were all leaving their enclosures to go to either their hotel rooms or small cabins within the park. Owen was just making sure all things were locked and ready before leaving when he took notice that the girls had been freed from their containments.

"Alright who let out my girls!? Barry!? (Y/n)!" As he walked around the enclosure he then heard a hiss and there came out Blue hissing and stalking around him. "Alright Blue easy, don't you dare!" He held out his hand when Charlie then came up from behind him. "Charlie! Eyes up here!" He tried to maintain control of his two girls when Delta and finally Echo came out from his left and right surrounded him from all sides imprisoning him. "Okay ladies, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way". Owen said in his Alpha voice. Blue hissed and chirped at Owen as Delta did the same and stepped towards Owen a bit. "Delta. Delta I ain't playing here step back!" She hissed at Owen but then all four of them stood down as they heard the rattling of my staff.

It was then I stood out from the thick vegetation behind Blue.

"(Y/n) what the hell are you doing?" He tried to take a step forward when Blue hissed defensively at him trying to protect me. Owen held out his hand as I said.

"Easy Blue, easy girl. Stand down now". Blue chirped softly at me and walked behind me and nuzzled my stomach affectionately.

"Now I might have been going crazy but I've seen her do that a lot lately, wanna fill me in (y/n)?"

"Well that's really the real reason I came back to Jurassic World Owen, I'm...... I'm going to have a baby Raptor". Owen's eyes widened so much that they would've popped out if he were a cartoon and his mouth was gaped in shock.

"Uhh......" he fell back and fainted.

"Well that went better than I expected".

*Extended ending*

Shortly after he woke up and I explained everything to him about how it happened and how Tadashi (my current bf) was dropping out of his highly International Tech college to get a job to help raise the growing family. That and he was hoping Owen and I would join for a family dinner with his brother and aunt to get to know my brother since I got to know them.

"So.....any chance you're gonna name the baby after me?"

"Ha you wish Owen! If it is a boy I'm naming him after Charlie, maybe even Barry".

"Oh no you don't!" Owen grabbed me and threw me over his shoulders and took me upstairs and threw me down on the bed then he pinned my hands over my head and turned into the Tickle Rex now as he blew raspberries in my stomach making me screech in laughter. After a bit of playing he stopped and I asked him nervously.

"So—you're not mad?"

"Hey any man whose willing to give up his college career to get a job and help my little sister whose having his baby is an O.K man in my book".

"Aww Owen, thank you for understanding". I hugged my big brother and he hugged me back.

"But before the family dinner allow me to kick his ass for knocking up my little sister in the first place".

I punched him in the arm and whined out his name as he chuckled.

Oh brothers, what can you do with them? Especially if they're the Alpha of Raptors, but that's one of the many reasons why I love my brother Owen Grady.

#jurassic world #owen grady x reader #owen grady oneshot #jurassic world oneshot #brotherly fluff #owen grady x sister reader #fluff

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internet-content · 7 years

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Ok I'm actually really excited to hear that you didn't like Jurassic world because I didn't either and I want to have a more articulate and informed way to tell ppl why I don't like it other than the "unnecessary and forced romance" point and "it just lost the magic" I was just super disappointed w it and I want to hear more abt your opinion on it. Sorry if this is kind of rambling btw

no worries! for those of you who did not read the tags on this post a couple nights ago, I said: #I did my capstone on this!!#jp is so explicitly and awesomely feminist#(even though it only has 1 human female character)#the other part of my capstone was that jurassic world is shit garbage its shit it sucks and I fucking hate it

first off I want to correct myself, I said that sattler was the only human female but HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT LEX

these are the bullet points of my 14-page senior project (you asked for it):

jurassic park subverts the male gaze (the dinos do basically all of their murdering when they’re unseen or partially obscured, esp. in the “clever girl” scene; this could be down to spielberg’s famous “less is more” approach to monsters to enhance their effect but still)

this one’s a little more of a stretch but isla nublar, the dinosaurs, and nature in general are all coded as female in the context of the film, and humanity as a whole is coded as male. humanity (who is attempting to impose restrictions on the island and life itself by putting up cages and commercializing everything) is inarguably completely and utterly defeated by the dinosaurs and the island, the protagonists barely get away with their lives and hammond is the only jurassic park employee to see the end of the movie. (female-coded) life finds a way. asshole

also the female characters (ellie and of course LEX) are hugely expanded from the novel (where lex was a whiny younger sister stereotype with no redeeming traits) and ellie probably takes more direct action towards saving the humans than any other character. not to mention that most of the heroic male characters are killed, injured, or too old to contribute anything of value (looking @ you hammond, whose masculine god-playing was the cause of this whole shitstorm in the first place; “dinosaur eats man, woman inherits the earth”). also the book ends with the island getting firebombed and all the dinosaurs fucking dead but spielberg wasn’t having it

jurassic world is on the other hand a rampaging sexist dumpster fire which specifically subverts most of jp’s feminist ideas. owen is in charge of the raptors, when they defy him they are killed (this is the movie where a velociraptor is unceremoniously blown the fuck up for daring to violate her master’s control, in a moment that is an echo and inversion of the “clever girl” scene, i’m pretty sure that prior to this the only thing capable of killing raptors was the t-rex)

claire fucking dearing. hhhh. I won’t go into detail about everything (you can go through my sources at the bottom if you want) but this character is constantly belittled for…basically everything she does, no matter what (even when she saves the kids’ lives they want to chill with chris pratt like fuck no he’s a dick in this movie) but ESPECIALLY egregious is how much everybody (her sister, owen, the kids) wants her to be a fucking mom, she’s “defrosting ice queen” personified but it’s like the movie wants her to be defrosted through sheer brute force (alan grant was forced into a paternal role in jp but that was due to circumstance, not so much his brother on the phone weeping and begging him to quit his dumb job and focus on the important things like babies) she’s basically on the verge of tears this whole movie and it’s not hard to see why, it’s really uncomfortable to watch it while paying attention to how the other characters treat her. the 3.5 inch heels aren’t even worth mentioning tbh. oh also there’s also a moment where owen is pressuring her to prove that she’s worthwhile in a survival situation (my paper was called “sexism in survival situations” after the scene in jp) and she does so by…removing her top. hhhhhh I could go on but there’s more than just this one fucking character wrong with this movie

remember zara, the assistant who’s forced to do the mothering while claire goes and TRIES TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE DOESN’T FUCKING DIE thus leaving her nephews to hang out for 4 HOURS AT MOST? (this unforgivable transgression is what prompts judy greer to call her up WEEPING) well you might remember that she lets one of these asshole kids out of her sight and they go on a……..guided tour in a bulletproof glass dome. and then endanger themselves by straying off the path into an area clearly marked as not for access. so I’m pretty sure zara weeps too as a result of this and then later on she is torn apart by like 20 different dinosaurs over the course of a full minute. and a lot of people already know this but it’s just so worth mentioning: this was the first time a woman had been killed onscreen, EVER, in a jurassic park movie. it lasted 60 goddamn seconds, twice as long as it took the main villain of jp (wayne newman’s character) to be killed. i mean. you can just imagine the filmmakers going “you know what? it’s time for a woman to die onscreen, i think that’s what the franchise needs” like

owen grady (chris pratt) really is a pervy piece of shit in this movie, constantly hitting on claire, esp bad since at the end they fucking make out for no goddamn reason. chris revealed in an interview that the first kiss with her after they fight the pterodactyls was unscripted, and a total surprise for bryce dallas howard (colin treverrow, the director, was also there and he confirmed this). I think there’s another interview where she addresses it and she didn’t seem to mind really so ymmv but that’s at least a little icky idk

this movie has more characters overall but the amount of female characters who contribute anything goes down from 2 to 1. it’s been over 20 years but we can’t have 2 women who push the plot forward, okay, whatever (the characters I’m not counting are the lady in the control room who literally friendzones nick miller and zara, who did nothing wrong and died too soon. i liked merlin. she should fire her agent)

god and there’s so much more wrong just with the structure of jurassic world, the characters, the cgi, the themes, everything about it just falls apart under even the smallest bit of scrutiny, I could turn this into a generic shitting-on-jurassic-world post but it’s already long enough

I might’ve gotten a little carried away but like… jurassic park honestly isn’t even in my top 10 favorite movies but I’m so angry about jurassic world. I really hope the person who sent me this anon actually follows me and I didn’t just write this for nothing lol. jurassic world is so bad. its so bad.

“sources” (these are mostly subjective movie reviews that I used to help me form my arguements, this whole post is basically subjective so who gives a shit): Chris Pratt/Colin Treverrow interview, Jurassic World’s Mother of a Problem, ‘Life Finds a Way’: Monstrous Maternities andthe Quantum Gaze in Jurassic Park and The Thirteenth Warrior (it’s ch. 1 in this doc), The Perma-Pump: Jurassic World’s SilliestCharacter, The Death of Zara Young, or: How I Learned toStop Worrying and Hate Jurassic World, Jurassic World Has A Serious Woman Problem

#Anonymous #its so easy burning jurassic world you should try it yourself #long post #oh and PS colin treverrow is directing star wars episode 9 :/ :/ :/ :/#which fucks me up every time i think about it

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arecibomanual · 7 years

Text

It seemed like the transcripts of some of Chronos' videos were lost, so I went ahead and redid them myself.

I strongly believe that my mom was being monitored and harrassed by Youtube, Universal Pictures, and their affiliates, due to a secret, of sorts, she had uncovered within the original trilogy of Jurassic Park films Let me start by saying as early on as I can that I am not crazy - never been diagnosed with schizophrenia, [????] disorder, or any other mental illness. I'm just good at noticing patterns I've always been a big Jurassic Park fan. [near illegible, but I tried my best] I saw the first[firat?] film in the [??] when I was five years old, [etc] It's possible that Youtube's part in the harrassment campaign may have started with the removal of her various tribute videos to Jurassic Park after her passing but those may also merely be the result of the vast machine that is the automated copyright-takedown system. As big of a JP fan as I am though... [yes, just one word gets its own entire block.] [The next two slides are both on screen for like a second or less each, and both very hard to read.] I was never as [Jebus??] into the franchise as my mom was. She would watch the entire trilogy [something something] weekend [something] month She would buy JP-branded oatmeals and sugary cereals, long after her doctor advised her to steer clear of these for [sdffghjh] tribute videos [sasfsds] like those Linkin Park anime music videos, [there seems to be another line below this in smaller text, but all that can be seen due to the "Lost World" logo is an 'n'] I started noticing their absences toward the end of 2015 Without access to her Youtube password [again, the logo obscures a second line of smaller text] videos s[asdf] eate[n???] on her old laptop I contacted Youtube many times regarding the videos, but have only recieved canned auto-responses and unhelpful, yes sympathetic responses from actual employees after pressing the matter

Sudden huge increase in views... I hope anyone reading this is good with computers. Can you help a dude out? Anyone with experience in the "Eratas" or "Erratas" system, if you could send me a message I'd be extremely grateful. I realise reaching out to my Youtube viewers is a stretch, but hey I guess it's worth a shot, right?

This is the current automatic transcript of the song lyrics- note the address is gone.

0:00 yummy with our bodies we go double take 0:16 when double towel and down because you 0:18 will obey yep at the moment a swing 0:24 according and what if they were moving 0:26 out of people put this flag again me and 0:30 where we get the Kyrian's logbook that 0:32 much will be here with norma j whatever 0:35 same time of shipment be ready rings I 0:39 got the swagger bomb dinner she gotta be 0:41 the banker getting hungry mi made it was 0:46 a motherfucker I get the most which is 0:49 one of those bad Mama's lawmakers face 0:54 big to wait before the game silly 0:56 mistakes by me for the legality long 1:00 incremented plan to participate there 1:03 are few things that remain partly in 1:05 fact women brown one jet respect for 1:08 just a sec all want to hear that amana 1:12 fellas 1:14 where's little water water some people 1:20 talk to prepare a while did you dress 1:22 this is probably one night shift with a 1:25 flower wanna sesh with the left yeah I 1:28 came with the girl boy more than I can 1:32 make you feel a bit of summer fun dirty 1:34 hands off what you got this one is 1:37 different cuz of giving up their friend 1:40 not expedia we go up as much me what is 1:44 now for miracles that reason who I saved 1:49 it up for going my life we thought okay 1:52 II didn't see results el Muppet is 1:55 liking the brand back when we flew with 1:58 the what the fucking bag guys what dear 2:01 what I do like her to the finish my blog 2:05 or give it give you burn the neck yet 2:08 before pop pop pop you're already 2:10 because up just a touch the phone fucker 2:14 hit e'rybody chose to be seven dollars 2:18 oof amazing makers Allah fuckin ear for 2:21 my age / or two big horses doing his way 2:26 where we're going 2:28 we're breaking any / you an exact 2:32 digital model for the problems of 2:34 opinion i wanna do you live with my 2:37 first build up an American town to fit 2:42 terrasse de multiple more Chicago's 2:45 that's what we not all results too 2:48 powerful for design code changes

And here's the transcript for the QnA video, copy-pasted from KYM because it's under a spoiler tag on that page and thus won't archive. I don't know why KYM thinks this video was deleted, as it's very much still available.

TRANSCRIPT: [start of video] I’ve been fairly reluctant to really ask anyone for help since the nature of ] like pre[ classic paranoid nutjob ramblings - algorithms controlling things behind the scenes, weird stuff in that vein. But I would never waste anyone’s time with stuff like that. In the past couple of years I’ve asked for help from friends in programming and business circles. but over time, friendships fade, people move, people stop talking to you. You know the drill. As such, I’m very grateful for the help people are giving and I’ll try and answer as many questions as I can here. Cork Top writes: Q: "So with this video, are you essentially trying to see if this system called “Erratas” or “Eratas” will attempt to take down the video because it’s some system/algorithm that takes down videos that… I don’t know, include the term “Eratas”/“Erratas” in them? Which is why you used asterisks for letters in the word in the description, to see if the system could detect text on videos?" [Cont…]

A: Thanks for writing, Cork. Yes. I don’t know much about programming or computer systems, so I’m not too savvy about how to trick them. All I really know about Erratas is that it’s used by dozens of companies. (“recent”, as in, within the last 5 or 6 years) they seem to use it as a copyright-enforcement tool which works as an excellent [?] if you want to take down other things as well. But it has its limitations, and I’m fairly sure that my “test video” helped ferret those out. Maybe. The original Jurassic Park trilogy is excellent, by the way, I highly recommend it. The second film is my favorite, in spite of its flaws. Frank Horrigan writes “what is the erratas system? any documentation?” A: Thanks ]ing, Frank. “Erratas”[?] is something I [?(I’m not sure if there’s a word here or not)] crossed paths with over the years, and in[scope[?] disturb[??(this word MIGHT be “disturbance,” or it might be “disturbs me”)] … The fact that it went after my mom in her twilight years is either evidence of its enormous and uncaring[?] reach in other words, a coincidence, or it means it’s specifically still coming after me after all these years, and to be frank, both options freak me out equally. 3M and Unilever were early adopters, which shows the versatility of the system. Too much faith is put into computers in general, and WAY too much faith was put in Erratas. Lots of people lost their jobs. And Aaron4420 [referring to a YouTuber who posted on one of his videos], it’s easy to talk shit from behind a computer screen but takes a real man to back it up so suck my dick through a straw [end]

rip aaron4420

#erratas

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