#LETS GO INTO 2024 WITH A POSITIVE MINDSET

[sttoru]

HAPPY NEW YEAR !! 🤍

i hope 2024 will be a year filled with happiness for all of you ! may you all stay healthy & safe :3 thank you for all your support & i wish you all the best !! LET’S MAKE THE MOST OUT OF IT !!!

[simpxxstan]

HELLOOO!!! CONGRATS FOR THE 550 FOLLOWERS ON TUMBLR I HOPE U GET MORE FOLLOWERS BC UR WRITTING?? DELICIOUS 💗💗

But I would like to request seungcheol + dilfism ?? Like have u SEEN that man??

Thank you!! Have a good day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE MAN <333 thank you for sending this in! LOVED writing dilf cheol. i swear this man and his sexiness of 30s will be the death of me. inspired completely by his new glasses look at caratland 2024.

this is a part of my 550 followers event, but requests are now CLOSED.

genre: smut, enemies to lovers, age gap, dilf!seungcheol, lawyer au.

word count: 13k words.

warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+ nsfw content. 13 YEAR AGE GAP, mention of suicide, single dad!seungcheol, a ton of legal terms (not vouching to be accurate because i am neither a lawyer nor a law student nor is my research perfect), seungcheol is a bit selfish and toxic (but there's a redemption arc), ANGSTY angst, but A LOT OF FLUFF TO COMPENSATE. smut warnings: protected sex, oral receiving (f and m), mild dirty talk, implicit size kink, implicit spit kink.

"it's my first case!" you whine in surrender, slumping on the shoulder of your friend, as you both re-read the case file in front of you for the n-th time this morning. yoona pats your head, but she knows even she can say nothing to console you. it must be either sheer bad luck or some unknown person's vengeance, that you're against choi seungcheol in the very first case of your life.

y/l/n y/n: the lawyer of the plaintiff, hwang seola.

choi seungcheol: the lawyer of the defendant, KNT enterprises pvt. ltd.

nothing can save you from losing your first case in the worst way possible. not even the stellar letters of recommendation from your professors. not even your exceptional performance in the national lawyers examination process. not even your diligence during your interning years that's earned you the title of golden rookie. everyone expects you to make it big, including yourself- but that's clearly not going to happen if you lose the very first actual case you have to face in your life.

"at least no one will mock you for losing," yoona says in a meek voice. you scoff indignantly, "as if that's any comfort. still doesn't change the fact that i'm going to start off my career on the worst foot possible. why does my luck have to be so shitty?"

"hey, think about the positives. imagine how much of a learning experience it'll be. i know best how much you consider seungcheol as your idol."

you sigh. five years ago, when seungcheol had blown up across the country because of his historic debut in the court of corporate law, winning case after case and setting precedents that were welcomed with open arms, you'd looked up to him. five years ago, he'd walked into your college for an invited seminar during your first semester and blown your mind away. five years ago, you would cry in joy at the opportunity to even spend a minute in the same courtroom as seungcheol and see him in action. five years ago, he'd been the ideal man of your dreams- perfect in every damn way possible.

the only issue with that is that he's still the ideal man in your eyes. even if losing the case against him won't make your nervous, just being in close quarters with him for long hours will make you infinitely nervous.

"maybe i should recommend boss to let you take up the ca-" you tease yoona, and she squeals, whining protests instantly. "no thank you!" you laugh, hoping to lighten the tension of the moment. but the relief is only temporary, and the weight of the upcoming case lingers in your mind for hours later.

_

the first trial of the case is a week later. before that, you decide to change your mindset to a better thought process- even if you simply assume that you're going to lose this case, you're still going to give in your 100% so that you can step away with no regrets and only more knowledge gained. the first step to that, of course, is speak to your client personally, without the intermediation of the firm you work at.

mrs hwang turns out to be a woman just a few years older than you. the primary reason why she's suing the company her husband used to work at is because her husband had been driven to suicide by the constant pressure in his workplace to keep some illegal activities and fraud under the covers, which had not only harmed his mental health and morals but also affected the way his superiors judged his work performance. she may be young, but she's lost her husband merely three years after their marriage, and just one look at her face makes your heart ache in sympathy.

this isn't the first time you've seen such a case. during your years of study, you've studied plenty of cases involving companies ill-treating their workers and leading them to take up drastic steps in desperation. not only does this case come under a serious mistreatment of employees under labour laws, but also violates laws governing corporations which demand them to steer off illegal activities and maintain integrity. it's a very interesting case, and you're highly intrigued and instantly drawn into the case. there are several nuances that you know you may miss out by a hair's breadth if you're not careful. but you cannot take chances. if you have to even put up a fair fight against choi seungcheol, you're going to have to leave no stone unturned.

at the end of your discussions with mrs hwang, you're fully convinced that the company is indeed at fault here. however, you're going to have to prove it in court with the meagre evidence you have- which is low anyway, considering how big companies use their financial and social capital to turn such cases remarkably in their favour. the primary example of that being them getting seungcheol, the country's top corporate lawyer, to represent them, while mrs hwang can only hire you, a rookie lawyer at a lesser reputed firm.

however, as you walk into the courtroom, you convince yourself to not think about how the odds are against your favour from the first moment itself, to calm your nerves. you're here to debut with a bang, and you will fake it till you make it.

_

it doesn't work.

it doesn't work because the moment you enter the courtroom, you see choi seungcheol sitting next to the defendant's CEO on the other side of the room, dressed in the most immaculate suit, his glasses perched on his nose as he inspects the documents you've submitted in court prior to the trial as preliminary evidence. when you walk towards the bench you're going to sit at, he looks up at you.

it's a careful, measured glance. a glance of confidence, a glance of self-awareness. he knows he's going to win. and yet, he smiles at you indulgently.

moments later, he meets you halfway across the room.

"good morning. i'm seungcheol," he extends his hand for a shake, his nose upturned as he looks down at you with an aura that nearly blows you away. you wish that you hadn't worn heels tonight- because if he keeps looking at you like that, your knees are going to give up.

"of course, who wouldn't know you?" you steady your voice mustering a smile.

seungcheol's smile does not change. "it's nice to meet the golden rookie finally."

his words send shivers down your spine. there's just something about meeting your idol from so up-close that you want to submit instantly to his infinitely higher knowledge and experience to you. there's also something particular to him that's affecting your mind and body- because if seungcheol at thirty-one was handsome, he's absolutely godly at thirty-six. he's aged like fine wine- the rimless glasses sitting firmly on his nose, tiny wrinkles around his eyes, and a few graying hairs around his sideburns.

you don't get a chance to respond as the judge enters the court and you're pulled away to your bench, sitting next to a very nervous-looking mrs hwang. you forcefully drag your eyes away from seungcheol, who still has that tiny smile on his face as he talks to his client, and focus on your client, giving her much-needed confidence boosts (needed both by her and by you).

_

as anticipated, the first trial does not go well. it's just your fucking luck that the judge knows seungcheol already- but then, it was wrong of you to not consider that already, knowing how famous he is. on top of it all, mrs hwang breaks down in the middle of seungcheol's questioning, shaken completely by his straightforward questions and uncaring gaze, and the court gets adjourned, leaving you stranded without any proper progress against seungcheol's stronger case. the next trial is scheduled for a week later. you wish you could think that your work has been cut out for you, but it's far from that.

the second trial comes quickly- but it doesn't let you progress much further. seungcheol looks even more nonchalant on the second trial- dressed in another suit, he's less fierce today during his questioning. you don't notice it, because you're too flustered with your own work, but his eyes stray towards you more often. his eyes glaze over with something soft every time you make eye contact, and you immediately look away, like you've been caught in the act. but seungcheol doesn't let it slip- he keeps up his passive aggression when he's shaking hands with you before exiting the courtroom.

"tough luck, rookie. focus between the lines more."

his words make you even more nervous than before, but you put on a brave face for seola's sake. this motivates you to change your gameplan, and you decide to stop focusing on existing evidence, which is scarce, and use more verbal reports of other employees who have willingly stepped up to speak the truth after the suicide of their friend and colleague. by the time you're just three days before the third trial date, you have a solid set of verbal witnesses who will provide evidence on your side, but every time you feel slightly more confident than earlier, seungcheol's voice rings in your ears and you lose all hope.

on the morning of the fourth day, you receive an email from your boss.

y/n, please attend a lunch meeting on my behalf with some of our older clients (whose list i have attached below) today.

you jump to the opportunity- being provided a chance to interact with the old clients of the firm is a lucrative opportunity to impress those who've stayed with the firm from the beginning (and naturally, have graduated into stakeholders at the firm).

so it's safe to say you're in for a rude shock when you reach the lunch spot at a five-star restaurant along the banks of the han river, and find none of your clients but instead you find seungcheol waiting for you.

_

"close your mouth and stop drooling," jeonghan's voice somehow appears in his mind when he sees you enter the restaurant. "you make it obvious how hot you find women in suits."

but seungcheol cannot take his eyes off you. hasn't been able to for the last two times he's seen you. even if the courtroom is no place for indecency, he's had plenty of indecent thoughts whenever he's seen you, dressed in your suits and blazers, your curves prominent and your hair tied up in a practical ponytail. he should not think like this about you- he knows it. you both are set up at natural odds because of the case- but somehow, that makes him more interested in you. and seungcheol would not have it any other way. he looks forward to each trial of an otherwise boring case just to see you- the passion on your face whenever you're arguing your case, the way your mouth opens in shock whenever seungcheol casually dismisses a piece of information you've clearly worked hard on, the way you stare in exasperation at the witnesses when they speak against your stance, the hunger in your eyes whenever you're questioning his client, and the fire in you that burns you to work harder before each trial. seungcheol hasn't seen a lawyer as passionate as you in many years- most would have given up even before starting just due to his formidable reputation, but you're not even intimidated by his on-brand dead stare that works on everyone.

"i was told i'm here to meet clients of my firm. i didn't know you hired our firm for your personal needs," you cock an eyebrow as you stand in front of him, and seungcheol smirks. that attitude does nothing to filter his thoughts.

"would you have come if i'd invited you personally?"

you open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it. "have a seat, please. let's enjoy lunch."

you do so immediately. submissive. "but i still don't understand why i'm here." bratty.

he places a finger on his lips as the food he's pre-ordered arrives. the smell of the delicious food breaks your frigid attitude, it obviously helps that seungcheol's ordered your self-proclaimed favourite dish on your public instagram account. "i'm sure you must be hungry." seungcheol digs in himself, his eyes on yours as he carefully licks the spoon clean. your eyes flicker to his lips instantly before you're staring back into his eyes, defiance laced in your gaze. you pick up the spoon and start eating as well. seungcheol smiles.

i'm a dad to two daughters. i know how to tame brats.

after a few minutes, he finally speaks. "do you know the first step to winning a battle, rookie?"

you look up and tilt your head slightly in question.

"knowing your opponent."

"i already know you."

"that's what you think. that's why you're not going to win."

your eyes flash with anger. "are you just going to rub that into my face? is that why i'm here?"

"so what? you don't want to win? isn't the most loved story of human history the tale of the underdog?"

"frankly, my opponent isn't even you. it's your client, who isn't even here. so i don't understand the point of this meeting."

"so much can be learnt merely through observation, rookie. you can't know someone by looking at their annual reports and how much money they pay their employees."

"i don't need to know anything more than that! unlike you, i don't wish to meddle in people's personal lives to win cases. i don't need your brain games."

seungcheol chuckles. "the courtroom is nothing but brain games, rookie. think how far facts can take you, and then think how much further imagination can take you."

you gasp, pinching your nose. "i'm sorry, what? imagination? i'll win on evidence and evidence only. i used to admire you as an icon of law. but now, when i see you defend an obvious criminal with such blatant stubbornness, i'm having second thoughts."

"obvious criminal? are you telling me you've obtained the evidence you need to prove my client guilty in court?"

"and what if i do?"

seungcheol sits back, squaring his shoulders to his full stature. "you shouldn't tell me about it then, rookie."

"when you'd walked into my law school five years ago for a seminar, this wasn't the choi seungcheol i'd grown to love as an icon."

fuck. five years ago? just how young were you?

"i'd advise you not to get emotional about the case. the courtroom is no place for admiration or lov- or any other emotions."

"and yet, you have no desire to live up to the expectations of hundreds of law students like me who look up to you? you don't care about the youth you're letting down with this attitude?"

"why should i? i'm surviving just fine, aren't i?"

by this point, seungcheol can see the way your nails dig into your own palms in frustration. it's so amusing, how emotionally you're dealing with this. in a world of black and white, seeing you behave gray in every scenario makes seungcheol think he's lived thirty-six years of his life incorrectly.

finally when you cannot come up with any rebuttal, you stand up, dragging your chair on purpose to make noise. "there's absolutely nothing more for me to talk to you about. i hope you've learnt about me today, choi seungcheol. i've certainly learnt a lot too." and you walk away before he has the opportunity to say anything.

_

lunch with seungcheol leaves you shaken and stuttering. even as you open the door of the cab outside and ask the driver to take you to the office without a second thought, you spend the entire journey lost in your own thoughts. every little moment of the meeting lingers in your mind, unsettling your confidence. from the way he calls you rookie to his quiet arrogance and confidence, everything about him is so frustrating and yet... he draws you in. your perception about him has definitely changed after today, but even with the added understanding of just how selfish choi seungcheol can be, you can't ignore the sheer attraction you feel towards him.

it stays on your mind through the next three days. and on the morning of the third trial, you're stuck with two different thoughts plaguing your mind.

the first: a genuine concern about how the third trial is going to pan out. it's likely to be your last chance to even bring the judge's opinion to your side, because if you can't present good enough evidence today, there's no way to sway the jury to your side.

the second: choi seungcheol is a man who annoys you but you also have this innate craving to impress him. your respect for him hasn't changed, but your conversation with him has revealed to you just how cutthroat the world of law really is. and his suave attitude, the confidence with which he's so sure he's going to win, and his infinitely superior experience to you makes some part of you so desperate to seek his attention and impress him. show him that you can do well too. show him that you're not going to make beginner's mistakes. show him that you're more than a mere rookie.

but when you walk into the courtroom, seola next to you, your sunglasses perched on your head, you stare at the empty bench behind you. it was supposed to be full with the four witnesses you'd invited today and were relying on to sail through the the third trial. frantically, you ask your colleague who's assisting you in the trial, "where are the witnesses? are they running late? can you ple-"

"they're not going to come today, y/n."

seungcheol's icy voice cuts through the chaos and reaches you sharply. you spin around to find him dressed immaculately in a midnight blue turtleneck that shows off the stubble growing down his jaw.

"sorry, what?"

"you heard me the first time. none of them are going to come today."

"and how do you know?"

seungcheol smirks as he shrugs and takes a step closer towards you. "i have my ways, rookie."

you're fuming at this point, but you really can't speak your mind because seola breaks down in tears right next to you and you can't help but shift away your focus from seungcheol's dangerous eyes and take care of her.

it's honestly a miracle that after the complete sweep that seungcheol presents in the third trial, with no new evidence nor substantial evidence from your end, you still get another chance at a fourth trial, scheduled two weeks from now, in a pitiful announcement from the judge, imploring you to use this final chance to collect as much as evidence as you can.

_

when the trial ends, you ask seola to go home, and you lock yourself up in a bathroom stall in the court building, trying to come to terms with everything that's come to pass today. it's been an overwhelming morning and you're still shaken badly by it all. every moment you spend in this world with seungcheol, he seems to make it his personal mission to show you that there's no place for softness or emotions in this cut-throat world.

when you exit the washroom, you find seungcheol standing outside, an unlit cigarette between his lips.

"did you bribe them?"

he turns to look at you, his eyes clearly wide in surprise. "what are you saying?"

you take a step closer to him, your entire body shaking with fury. "did you bribe the fucking witnesses?"

"we're in public, woman, control your tongue."

"i'm not ashamed of anything i'm saying though, are you?"

seungcheol's lips twist in distaste and he drags you away from the public place to a quieter spot secluded near the parking lot. "i understand you're frustrated because of that no-show today, but you're speaking nonsense-"

"i'm speaking perfect sense, seungcheol! only you knew that i was going to bring in witnesses today."

"only me?"

"except two people at my firm, one of who is my best friend, and the other is a colleague who's assisting me in the case."

"who knows? maybe your friend's the snitch-"

you step closer to him, seething in anger. "don't you fucking make false allegations, choi seungcheol!"

"you're the one making false allegations here, really."

"you'll have to admit it, seungcheol. someday. if all your fame and reputation has been through such cheap tricks and under-the-table dirty business, you'll have to pay for it-"

"or what?" seungcheol puts back the cigarette between his lips, and lights it with a lighter. he takes in a big puff, and exhales right into your face. "or what, y/n? maybe you should take my advice instead. and stop making rookie mistakes."

as he walks away from you, you shout behind him, "i'm going to expose you, seungcheol!"

"empty threats, la la la." his voice trails back, sending shivers down your spine, as you're left alone in the dark parking lot, wallowing in your own pathetic helplessness.

_

your search for further evidence has led you to a complete dead-end. the most important thing that you need, the one that will clinch the case for you absolutely, is any - even one- document directly coming from KNT to seola's husband. unfortunately, you've gone through his emails and fax multiple times, but found nothing. nothing on his laptop, no hard drives, no soft drives, no external devices, nothing on his mobile phone or other such devices either. today you're searching all his belongings again and again, but it's still the dead-end. you realise that there's no point looking for more witnesses because seungcheol's just going to drive them away by whatever tricks he's using. and you're confident that seungcheol's thinking a step ahead of you- so any new evidence sources that you might come up with now might have already been dismissed by seungcheol through some back-up plan of his.

"seola, i need you to think once more, please. did he use any other device apart from the one at his office and the one at home? any laptop or any other mobile phone?"

"no... i can't remember anything else, really. we couldn't afford anything more too..."

you grimace. "i hope you don't get offended, but i'm sure he received quite a bit of money from whatever services he was providing KNT. enough to motivate him to keep quiet and hold on for so long. otherwise an honest man like him wouldn't want to get into this mess, would he?"

seola doesn't reply immediately, tears silently dropping down his cheeks.

you sigh and place a hand on her shoulders, rubbing softly as she breaks down into more tears. in the last few weeks, you've become surprisingly quite close. you've comforted her through her worst moments, feeling compassionate both as a woman and as a lawyer. and she, in turn, has helped you without any qualms, in not just the case but also lent a patient ear to you whenever you've wanted to rant, made ramen for you whenever you've worked till late, and let you stay over at her place whenever the rain outside's become too torrential for you to take the bus back home.

after a few long moments, seola is finally able to gain back her composure. "y/n.... he did mention something about an outstation office... towards the outskirts of the city. he used to go there twice a month. he told me it was for sending out packages to the other branches of the company... but maybe you could see there once?" your eyes light up with excitement as you hear seola's words. is this finally the breakthrough you'd been looking for through high and low? is this finally going to be your trump card to win the case? your rational side tells you to not become overjoyed immediately, but something in you is desperate to see that cockiness wiped off seungcheol's face, and bring him down to earth from whatever higher place his arrogance has placed himself at.

"seola, can you give me any tentative location for it? i'm going to go check it now."

"now? but the forecast is showing there's going to be thunderstorms tonight! there's so much thunder grumbling out there-"

"it doesn't matter, seola. i can't afford to lose any more time."

_

seungcheol's been stuck in traffic for almost an hour now, and the windshield wiper is absolutely useless in preventing the rain from cascading on his front window. the rain is relentless- just like the thoughts tormenting his heart. the reason he's returning home so late is because there had been a dinner party at the workplace cafeteria, hosted by his colleagues and closest friends, jeonghan, joshua, wonwoo and minghao. they're all lawyers with their own reputations, and the only friends they all have now. the point of the dinner? celebrating seungcheol's (upcoming) win in the KNT vs mrs hwang case. (and also to get seungcheol's mind off y/n, who's distracted him from his work all week, ever since their encounter at the parking lot of the courthouse.)

it'd been a mistake to stay out for so long. a sheer lapse of judgement, and seungcheol has not choice but to curse at himself right now. his daughters have called him already, their voices sleepy as they stay up for their father to return home to eat ice cream with them, before they fall into bed.

"and yet, you have no desire to live up to the expectations of hundreds of law students like me who look up to you? you don't care about the youth you're letting down with this attitude?"

y/n's words ring in his mind.

as the rain pours down cruelly, seungcheol's heart lets out silent cries.

he's a failure.

he's failed his family. thirteen years ago, when his parents had cast him out of their house after he'd failed to get a job at a good law firm.

that attitude's gonna get you nowhere, kid! stop running your mouth and focus on your work!

he's failed his first love. nine years ago, four years before he'd finally made his mark in the country's law scene, his wife had divorced him and left their children with him, because he'd not been able to earn enough for her.

stop being such a social activist, seungcheol! the world isn't soft like you. stop being so stuck up and emotional!

and now he's failing his daughters. day after day, they'd stay up late, waiting to spend some quality time with their father. night after night, they'd end up sleeping alone because seungcheol's insomnia didn't let him sleep with them. month after month, he'd promise to take them to their long-due vacation, but he was always too busy to take leave for two weeks at once. year after year, they'd wait for him to come to sports' day but seungcheol could never make it.

appa, if you can't take us to jeju... can we go for the school trip this year to jeju? all our friends are going to go for it...

all these painful thoughts triggered simply by one person- you. you're an unprecedented variable in his life, someone he couldn't even imagine to be a part of his life even a month ago. and yet, you've made him feel so many emotions, that had become dormant for years, in such a short span of time.

he's disappointing you too.

he doesn't know why it hurts what you think of him. seungcheol had thought that at thirty-six, he's finally ascended from these petty thoughts. but somehow your judgemental gaze, your innocent words and your fresh perspectives have shaken him to the core.

or perhaps he does know why, and he doesn't want to acknowledge it.

you remind him of himself.

but you're far better than he was. he'd been a coward, a loser, too quick to give up, and too hasty to drown in his own pity party. you're a fighter, a challenger, not accepting the cruelties of status quo, and too passionate to give up your sense of justice just to fit in with the cut-throat dirty reality.

you're 10 times the lawyer than he could ever be, and something about that makes him so inexplicably drawn to you.

because you're the person he's always wanted to idolised.

no wonder that when you'd told him that you'd looked up to him as an idol, he'd laughed at himself.

the traffic jam disperses slowly, and seungcheol breaks out of his daze. the clock shows 10.30 pm, and the rain shows no sign of stopping. thankfully, the traffic is now moving smoothly.

_

after almost half an hour of standing at the bus stop, waiting for something to pass by, there's finally a car with a very bright beam slowing down in front of you. it's a private car, but you hope it can give you a l-

"what are you doing here?!" the words escape your mouth as soon as you notice who's in the driver as the car window rolls down.

"get in, rookie."

you consider hesitating, but seungcheol's car looks warm... and safe. so you do get in, hating how there's water everywhere you're touching, spoiling the clearly expensive leather of the seats. but seungcheol doesn't say anything even as you shuffle in and finally settle on the passenger seat.

he thankfully doesn't ask you anything as he lets you take a breath and get warm enough. so about five minutes pass before he asks you, "what were you thinking, standing out there in this rain?" his voice is low, almost cracked, but laced with serious concern. you notice that he's still dressed in his typical suits. is he returning from work so late?

"i had work here," you say carefully avoiding the connection about the case.

"so late at night?"

"it was important."

"that it couldn't wait till the morning?"

"no."

you're aware by the way his jaw is clenched that he's getting annoyed by your short answers. but you have no option except to be as vague as possible- his mind works too fast for you.

"where's your home?"

you tell him the locality, and he sighs. "that's on the opposite side of town."

"i know, just... maybe you can drop me at a more crowded bus stop? the one where i was waiting was a bit remote, but a more crowded one will definitely have more frequent buses-"

"you're out of your mind."

"huh?"

"just because you're irresponsible doesn't mean i will be too. i cannot and will not leave you in the middle of the road in this rain so late at night."

"seungcheol, i don't want to barge-"

"you're not barging into anything. you'll come home with me, change into drier clothes and sleep in for the night so that you don't fall sick."

"y-your home?"

"yes. do you have a better idea?"

you gulp, his gaze stern. you don't have a better idea, in fact getting to change into warm clothes and get into someone's house sounds divine right now. the only problem is that it's.... seungcheol's home. if you can't handle him in his everyday suits, you wonder what thoughts seungcheol in his natural abode will spark in you.

"i'll always be grateful to you."

seungcheol nods, and the rest of the journey is silent.

_

seungcheol doesn't know yet if it's a good or a bad idea. he did it as an impulse- perhaps some part of him hopes he's still redeemable in your eyes, so he wants to do the right thing for once. but he won't know if it's the right think for everyone until he reaches home.

when he parks the car and takes you up to his flat, he can hear the television blaring harry potter from outside the flat, and he can see the way your eyebrows furrow at the sound. so he slowly unlocks the door, to reveal his two daughters sitting on the couch, undoubtedly watching their favourite harry potter movies again, wearing identical pyjamas specially designed for the identical twins.

he can hear you gasp as you step into the house, and the girls come into your view.

there's an awkward moment of silence and staring, before sol comes running to him and wraps herself around his waist. "appa! we're right at the last scene of prisoner of azkaban, your favourite part!"

seungcheol almost tears up. how can they welcome him so warmly every night even though he's come home so late?

he clears his throat. "sounds like you've been having fun, girls. but first, say hello to y/n unnie-"

"imo," you whisper next to him, your figure shrunk with the cold.

"no unnie," he whispers back. "this is choi sol, our maknae, and that's choi byul, my eldest." the girls wave and shyly say hello, their dimpled smiles flashing politely as they bow. you bow back, "hi sol and byul! sorry you're meeting unnie in this state~"

"are you also a lawyer?"

"did you get caught in the rain?"

"do you work with appa in his office?"

"do you want fresh clothes?"

you giggle at the contrasting questions from the two girls, their starkly different personalities evident. "yes, yes, no, and yes please, if you could be so kind," you smile back, your dainty lips curving into a pretty bow that takes his breath away. sollie shifts from where she'd been wrapped around seungcheol to take your hand gently. "do you think my clothes will fit you? i think byul's clothes will. she has a very warm nightdress..." and she drags you away to her room, welcoming you in without even a single moment's hesitation. byul is more reserved in her welcome, but still warm. she follows the two of you shortly, and seungcheol is left at his doorstep alone, but filled with such a flurry of emotions in his heart that leaves his soul warmed unlike he's felt in years.

about twenty minutes later, he comes out of his bathroom after a refreshing warm shower, his hair soft after the shampoo. he can hear voices from the kitchen, loud-pitched voices of his daughters and the softer, lower voice that he recognises as you.

"unnie, do you want to have ramen?" byul's voice rings out. "we were going to have ice cream but you might feel too cold for that." sol adds, "did you eat dinner, unnie? didn't appa eat dinner with you?" "no, w- we- he picked me on the way when he saw me stranded in the rain. we didn't have dinner... together."

seungcheol's heart breaks and heals a little at the same time. he's taken the right step for now... but seeing his little girls like this have generated images and thoughts in his mind that he had shelved away forever.

the idea of a family.

the idea of giving them a new mother figure.

as he walks towards the kitchen, he can see the way sol and byul cling to you although they've met you barely half an hour ago. perhaps it's because they don't have any cousins and you feel like a sister? perhaps it's because they like bossing over adults, especially since they boss over him so much? perhaps it's because they've already been charmed by your magnetic appeal- your softness and your innocence, mingled with an intelligence that lets you befriend everyone.

"are y'all annoying y/n already?" byul immediately faux pouts, and he can see your eyes light up. "seungcheol, she looks exactly like you," your voice whispers with the revelation. "yes, she's my daughter. kinda expected, don't you think?" he laughs. it's sarcastic of course, because sol and byul actually resemble him more than any other father-daughter pair he's seen in his life. it's almost like they haven't gotten any of their mother's genes. and seungcheol doesn't really regret it. it's been nine years, he's gotten over that pain. his only regret is to not be able to provide a second parent to his children, who'd grown up in spite of being cut off completely by their mother. and his busy life has left him with no space to date or even think of marriage...

except right now.

right now, when he sees you wearing byul's nightdress that barely reaches your knees, cooking ramen with sol sitting on the kitchen counter next to you, chatting away about harry potter, and byul carefully carving out ice cream into bowls for the four of them, seungcheol thinks maybe it's time.

maybe he's found the one.

and maybe, he's already fallen beyond scope to return.

_

you didn't get much chance to talk to seungcheol last night, but when you wake up on the guest bed the next morning, you can see him as soon as you open the door. he's sitting in the balcony, sipping a cup of tea, reading a newspaper, his glasses sitting prettily on his nose.

"morning," your voice is still raspy in spite of your sleep being perfectly fulfilling.

he turns to look at you, his gaze uncharacteristically soft, much different from how he sees you at court.

"hi. tea?"

you nod, and wobble over to sit next to him. the tea clears your throat a lot, and you can finally open your eyes wide enough to see the glorious view from his balcony. so you soak in the nature for some time, while seungcheol buries his nose into the newspaper again.

"i didn't know you were a father."

seungcheol hums. "did you like them? my girls? they liked you a lot."

"can't help but not like them. they balance each other so perfectly- as if they're your twin personas."

"that's deep."

"but it's true."

seungcheol chuckles and goes back to his newspaper. the morning air hits your face and you feel so much more alive than you'd normally do on a thursday morning. "when do you have to get to work?" he asks you.

"i still have about an hour and half left."

"will you go home and then-"

"yeah. the office is really close to my place, like a minute's walk. so i'll leave soon, don't worry-"

"you'll stay for breakfast." seungcheol says firmly. "the girls will want to see you before you leave."

and you can't turn that down. so you simply nod in agreement, carefully taking a look at the man sitting across you. seungcheol at home is so unimaginably different from seungcheol at court. if he's fire in the courtroom, then he's water at home. he's cold and practical in the real world, but with his daughters, he's the most gentle person you've met. something about the soft smile he gives when he indulges his girls. something about the way his eyes light up whenever they talk to him about anything, even if it's trivial. something about the way he's taken care of you since last night, not just giving you a shelter during a terrible night but also giving you so much warmth from his personal life. it's all made you see a completely different side to seungcheol than you'd met at the courtroom, and it's changed the way you've grown to see him completely.

now you know that seungcheol was not harsh to you that day at lunch, he was simply being realistic. his cockiness and arrogance is just self-confidence, it doesn't define who he is as a person. and he's still a man you can look up to and admit, without shame, to yourself that this is the ideal man in your eyes.

your phone pings right then, and you open it to see the mail that's arrived.

the cup of tea almost slips and falls from your hands as you jump up in your seat in joy. seungcheol looks up at you in alarm, "what happened?" your smile is bright, just like the sun this morning. "i have an emergency at work, i'll have to leave now! please say goodbye to sol and byul from my side!" and you rush into your room to change into your clothes from last night, still damp but at least cleaner, and you literally run out of the house, waving and thanking seungcheol again and again, leaving him very very confused indeed.

_

seungcheol feels incredibly at peace the next day when he walks into the courtroom. even though you'd disappeared suddenly like that without any explanation, he's quite sure that he's back in your good books. not that it matters much- because what really counts is how he's feeling about himself. and after many years, he's feeling good. the usual guilt that engulfs him as a whole every day as he wakes up to face a new morning, isn't bothering him. he feels like he's achieved something, he's done something right, and he's going to get better from now on.

but as soon as he pushes open the doors of the courtroom, he feels like he's missing something out. everyone on his side of the bench seems flustered as hell, papers rumpled and expressions distraught. but he doesn't get an opportunity to ask what's going on because you catch his attention first.

"seungcheol, can we talk for a second?"

"not right now, i have to talk to my team-"

"this is urgent. you'll want to hear this, i promise."

seungcheol lets out a long sigh as he takes in your words. there's a crisp confidence in your words today that intrigue him. "okay go ahead," he finally replies.

"in private, if you please." he follows you wordlessly out of the room, and you lead him out towards a small isolated office in the corner of the building, that's totally deserted. seungcheol leans back against the closed door, completely silent as he waits for you to settle your papers and finally look up at him.

"so what's this about? you wanna kiss me or someth-"

"you're going to lose the case today. i've found enough evidence to prove the absolute guilt of KNT, and the ceo will go to jail by the end of the court session today."

"you're bluffing me."

"i can show you the evidence, but i'd rather you'd see it in court."

"then why are you telling me this now? to pity me?" seungcheol's mouth fills with bile as a dread settles over him. the tables are turned- now he feels as rattled as he had seen you feel that day at lunch. what if you're being serious right now? what if you've actually found incriminating evidence? but he's gone through all potential sources of evidence with his client, left no stone unturned to hide all tracks-

"so that maybe you can step off the case in time. do you really want your daughters to find out you've been defending your client for so long knowing you're defending a criminal?"

seungcheol's heart skips a beat.

"do not bring them into this."

"i'm not bringing anyone into anything. this is just me being nice to you because i know what it feels like to be disappointed by someone you look up to."

"do you hear what you're saying, y/n?" he takes two steps closer to you. "this is borderline blackmail. i don't even know if you're bluffing or not, and you're already blackmailing me using my daughters. have you fallen to the same crude level i'm in? are you going to disappoint me like this?"

his words have the expected effect on you. he can see your cheeks flush pink. "seu-seungcheol, don't twist my words." you take a step back, your back straightening as he sees confidence seep back into your face.

"and maybe you should stop worrying about my morals and worry more about how badly you're going to lose the case. from next time, don't make rookie mistakes." your finals words, before you leave the room, ring in his ears and cause goosebumps to erupt all over his skin.

as soon as you're gone, seungcheol slams the desk in front of him, his brain running at a hundred miles an hour. what might have slipped from his sight? what might he have missed? he immediately calls the ceo of KNT enterprises.

"what have you been hiding from me?"

"oh? mr choi, what happened to greetings? good morning to yo-"

"nothing's good about today morning, mr kim. what have you been hiding from me? i'm not going to ask you again."

"nothing! i've bared my entire soul to you for the case."

"mr kim, there's a fresh piece of incriminating evidence that's been found, and i cannot do anything to stop mrs hwang's lawyer from submitting it to the court unless you tell me what it is exactly."

"mr choi, you're mistaken, there's nothing left to be wiped-"

"the first rule of a client and lawyer relationship," his voice is seething and snarky, volume rising with each word, "is that you should never lie to your lawyer." seungcheol knows if mr kim was in front of him right now, he'd be quaking in his shoes. he can imagine a similar situation on the other side of the phone too. he knows he's intimidating enough when he wants to be.

"i didn't think it would be important-"

"you're not the person to judge what's important and what's not, mr kim."

there's a sigh and the voice becomes shaky.

"there's an outstation branch..."

_

the case ends unceremoniously. there are no paparazzi waiting for you outside the courtroom, ready to capture your life's first win. there are no cameras flashing on you, no historic moments being documented, no crowds gathering to celebrate this win for the masses.

there's just seola's happy tears and a wildly beautiful feeling of victory in your heart as realisation ultimately sinks in for you. it's a clean win- the evidence showing unmatched proof of orders coming from KNT to mr hwang, detailing all sorts of illegal activities and even records of payments being made to mr hwang. it's really crazy how it's not been eradicated cleanly already by seungcheol. clearly, either he or his client had underestimated you.

but you'd proven them wrong.

yoona's the only who comes to see you outside the courtroom after the win. there's a bright smile on her face as she hugs you and congratulates you. seola promises that she's going to take you out on a treat right now. other colleagues from your workplace call you to congratulate you on the win.

and yet you feel empty.

seungcheol's gone. he hadn't come for the trial. he'd not been in the courtroom for the final statements, his aide quoting something about a family emergency. he'd run with his tail between his legs, ashamed of his failure and finally realising his stupidity. this thought should be giving you satisfaction, but surprisingly, it doesn't. it leaves you feeling empty, still wanting something even though you've won the case just now.

but there's no way to reach out to him. you don't even have his number for god's sake, and it would be awfully awkward to go to his house. and what would you say? that you missed seeing his sad face in court when the verdict was announced? that you wanted to see if he'd be proud of you for winning the case? that you wanted to impress him by beating him in the case cleanly without any dirty tricks? so you go to eat out with yoona and seola, and decide to stop thinking about seungcheol any further.

_

it's about seven in the evening when you make it back to your tiny flat in a shabby part of town, the house dark as you'd left it in the morning after rushing home from seungcheol's place. you smile to yourself when you unlock your home using the password on the door, thinking of how you'd been with seungcheol's adorable daughters last night, and how much fun you'd had with them.

your bag falls from your hand as you open the door.

"seungcheol?!" your voice is a shaky whisper, shocked to see him inside your house. "how the fuck did you get in?"

he's still wearing the suit he'd worn in the morning, and yet he looks divine in the dim reflection of lights from the world outside the window.

"your password's your birthday. got it on my first try."

"and how do you know my birthday?"

he takes a step closer, his body towering over yours. "shhh. it's called knowing your opponent."

there's something so oddly intimate about seeing him in your flat, in the shadows of your home. the street light illuminates one side of his face, and you can't breathe because of how gorgeous he looks.

"why do you know my birthday, seungcheol? really it's not going to help you in any way-"

"it did help me get into your house."

you lightly pick up the bag from on the floor next to you, and you walk past him. "which brings me back to the first question. why are you here?"

you're purposely avoiding his gaze, the intensity making you feel things. there's a plethora of emotions in your heart right now- finally the emptiness in your heart dissipates as you can feel yourself surrounded by seungcheol. you're taking off your blazer, untying your hair, walking over to the sink to wash your face... but you can't ignore the way you can feel seungcheol's eyes on your back. his heady scent clouds your senses, and you feel weak in your limbs. first he's intruding your house, and now your heart too?

"i have a question to ask you." he speaks after a long time, when you've finally cleaned up and taken out a cup of strawberry yoghurt from the refridgerator.

"you could've asked me on the phone." you lean back on a wall, putting yourself as far away from seungcheol as possible in your tiny flat. he's in the darkness, you're in the light, but you're still feeling small and vulnerable under his gaze.

"i couldn't. it's serious." he starts walking towards you.

"seungcheol, if this is about me trying to expose your shit, i'm not going t-" seungcheol puts his hand on your lips, pushing you against the wall.

"fuck that. this isn't about that."

you cock your eyebrow, mumbling against his hand, "then what is it about?"

seungcheol doesn't answer at once, his gaze continuing to pin you against the wall, and a hand comes around you to trap you between his bigger body and the wall. "seungcheol?"

"answer me honestly, okay?" his voice is raw, slightly wobbly, and you're getting more and more curious. you nod slowly, encouraging him to say whatever's on his mind. but he doesn't say anything. a few minutes pass just like that- or maybe an hour. his scent makes you dizzy, you can't think of anything but how his big figure is over you totally.

"when you said you looked up to me in college... i know i ruined that image. b- but... can you... fuck. wait. canyoueverforgiveme?"

"what?" you ask, confused at what he just said. he removes the hand from your mouth, standing even closer than before.

"can you ever forgive me? will you let me show you a better side of me? can i ever get in your good books again?"

your breath stops for a second. why does this matter for him? doesn't he already know the state he's left your heart in since last night- ever since he'd brought you into his car, he's already been promoted to your ideal man again.

"show me a better side of you? what do you mean, seungcheol?"

he sighs for a second, before straightening his posture, becoming impossibly even bigger.

"will you ever see me as a man, y/n?"

your knees almost give in. the fuck is his implying? are you dreaming this? is this a fever drea-

seungcheol leans in and kisses your cheek, close enough to your lips, his breath falling on your skin, and making your body tingle. "will you let me show you myself to you like this?" on instinct, you tilt your head away to give him more access, your body shivering with the intimacy. so he kisses your cheek again, closer yet to your lips, and you turn your head slightly to capture his lips, but he moves away.

"y/n, don't leave me hanging please. i know you might find this odd... but i've come to feel things for you that i didn't even know remained in me. you're an extraordinary woman, one of a kind. in all my life, i haven't met anyone like you. not even my ex-wife. you don't know this yet but you're the ideal image of perfection i've always thought of."

then he stops talking for a second, clearly expecting an answer from you. but your mind can't form words, not with the way you have tunnel vision on his face right now, your eyes drifting to his pretty cherry lips, to his long eyelashes, to the beautifully expressive eyes you've fantasised about since your college days.

"y/n, say something please." his voice is desperate, and you break out of your daze.

"you're my ideal man too, seungcheol. you have no idea for how long." there's a blush creeping on your cheeks, but in the dim yellow lighting, you can see an identical blush rise on his cheeks too. so you lean in and finally kiss his elusive lips, feeling the taste of his chapped but pretty lips on yours, feeling the way his body steps even closer to yours, one arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you to him, and your body melts as you feel the warmth from his body. the kisses slowly grow in pace, the momentum rising, as he kisses you more and more hungrily, his tongue entering your mouth too, as he begins to bite your lips and leaves you breathless and moaning just from a few kisses.

"god, rookie. you sure know how to kiss."

"i know how to do a lot of things, seungcheol." you know you're bad at dirty talk, you've never really succeeded at it during your few college experiences of sex. but somehow, seungcheol's eyes roll back at your words and you feel his heartbeat quicken up too. maybe it's working on him?

you try to test your hypothesis by gently wrapping your hands around his neck, slowly untying his tie, slipping it to the floor. once it's off, you rub your hands all over his chest, feeling the pure hard muscle flex under your muscles. his breathing is as hot and heavy as yours, and you slowly untuck his shirt from his pants, unbuttoning it carefully.

"must you torture me like this, y/n?" his eyes are glazed over, but you look up at him innocently. "what, seungcheol?" "fuck it, you're such a tease, princess." princess. he pushes you against the wall and kisses you again, one hand wrapped around your hair as he pulls you in, and another hand helping you unbutton his shirt and get it out of the way. seungcheol doesn't stop kissing you even when he begins to unbutton your own shirt, but his hands wander all over the skin he slowly unravels. it's like his own adventure mission, the gentle but urgent way he touches your skin, almost worshipping.

"you're so perfect, y/n." you whimper when he cups your breasts from over your simple black bra that does nothing to flaunt your tits, but somehow seungcheol's appreciating it all. are you really his perfect woman?

"do you mean it, seungcheol?" your voice is so weak, but it takes seungcheol aback. "what do you mean, y/n? you don't think i find you beautiful? is that why i've been dreaming about you every night these days? is that why you're always on my mind? is that why i died and came back from heaven last night when i saw you with my kids?" your breath hitches as he tilts your face to look at him. "you're the most perfect woman i've ever met, i told you. you've gotta believe me, y/n. or do i have to show you?"

"maybe, yes?"

he groans at your words, and his eyes become darker. "fuck, where's your bedroom, babe?"

_

seungcheol's touch is like moonlight caressing the ripples of a pond at midnight. a soft, gentle touch that lights up every inch of your skin that he touches. as the moonlight kisses the water and makes it ebb and flow with it, seungcheol's movements guide your body too. he's laying you out on a bed, his hands wandering all over your skin. as he takes in your figure, you let him, because he's making you feel so good. he kisses all over your body, your limbs tangling as you can't get enough of each other. seungcheol is all muscle, his hard planes flexing against your supple skin. he pins you against the headpost of your small double size bed, one hand wrapped around your waist, and the other caressing your breasts, making sure there's not even a single inch of your skin that's left untouched.

"did i tell you i think you're perfect?" his words are feverish, and leave you lost for words. so you can't reply to him, hoping he gets the way you feel about him too through your desperate whines and moans, pulling him closer if he puts even a hair's distance between your bodies. something about him being so big and engulfing your smaller stature is so hot, you can feel yourself getting aroused by the minute.

"seungcheol, i w- want to... touch you," you finally whisper out, and he pulls away from where he's been kissing your neck. "but you are?"

you shake your head and shove him lightly until he's on his back, and you're hovering above him. he's still wearing his pants while he's stripped you naked, so you do the honours for him. "what are you doing," his voice is strained. "want to touch you there," you focus on taking his trousers off until he's just in his underwear under you- his bulge quite obvious to you. if you weren't wet enough earlier, seeing the massive wet patch on his grey boxers leaves your own underwear soaked. is he this aroused because of you?

seungcheol seems to read your mind as he brings your face towards his own, whispering with hot breath, "do you see what you do to me, princess? got me wrecked and ruined." his confession is so raw, you lean in to kiss him again. as you do, your hand wraps around his clothed dick, and he groans into your mouth. "fuck fuck fuck," he curses as you begin to rub it softly. "i'm going to cum right now if you do that- babe, p-please!" he finally gets your hand off his dick, eyes large.

and then you giggle. something about seeing seungcheol so desperate triggers something off in you, makes you more determined to ruin him. so you pull off his boxers and take his erect, red cock straight into your mouth. seungcheol's body trembles with surprise, your name leaving his mouth in broken moans as he cannot take the pleasure of your mouth sucking him off in an excruciatingly slow speed. and you don't stop, even when his hand comes around the nape of your neck to keep you in place, even when you feel his entire body tense up with the imminent orgasm. you don't stop until he comes inside your mouth, spewing string after string of his hot seed, and you swallow it all. his breathing is laboured as he watches you lick off the last bits of the orgasm from his dick.

but your self-satisfaction of having the upper hand only lasts for so long. seungcheol's competitive side kicks in soon and he quickly flips over to pin you under him on the bed, his teeth nibbling at your chest, leaving pretty hickeys all over.

"let me return the favour, darling."

you don't know what he means right then by return the favour, but never in your wildest dreams, did you think it would include seungcheol burying his face into your cunt, his nose rubbing against your clit as his tongue laps up your wetness.

"fuck! no- seungcheol- pl-please, cheol!"

"do you want me to stop?" he asks you, his face barely moving up inches from your pussy to look into your eyes.

you hesitate before answering, so he softly kisses your stomach. "tell me, princess."

"i've never done this before..."

"what? sex?"

"no. oral. like no one's ever gone down on me before..."

and seungcheol doesn't waste another minute. he uses his teeth to push aside your panties and inserts his tongue right into your sloppy cunt, and you scream out his name. he doesn't go slow, and you don't want him to go slow. he's showing you all the stars in the sky, so you grab onto his hair to move his head back to a particularly good spot, and he moans incoherently when you tug at his locks. and within minutes, you're reaching your high, your screams getting stuck in your throat as you close your eyes and arch your back off the bed.

thankfully, seungcheol gets his face out of your cunt and hovers over you to take in your writhing figure under the impact of the orgasm.

"so how was your first experience?" he asks you when you finally open your eyes and look at him, his lips smeared with your essence and his body.

"heavenly," you whisper, before pulling him into you, and kissing him again. you can get drunk on his kisses. he's leaving your lips abused and raw, but when he's spitting into your mouth, you wrap your legs around his waist to pull him closer, feeling the toughness of his back muscles shift under your touch. this position ends up making his cock graze against your clit, and you jerk in overstimulation. but you can feel how hard he's getting with the kissing and the way your hands are tugging his hair. the heavy length rests on your stomach, and seungcheol pulls away.

"need to be inside you now, princess." his words have this rawness to them- long gone is the smooth-talker lawyer choi seungcheol. it takes several moments for you to process that you've caused him to descend to this desperation.

"do you have a condom?" he asks you.

"hmm, i do." you point towards the dresser next to your bed, and he casually bends away to take it out from the dresser. you're getting more turned on by his easy flexibility, and as soon as he's got the condom rolled on to his dick, you pull him for kisses again.

"patience, baby," he laughs, as he pulls away again after kissing you, to nudge the tip of his dick on your folds. "nooo, need you now. need your lips." "did my kisses break you?" "i think so," your voice is a whisper and he leans in to kiss you again, a beautiful smile showing off his dimples.

and then he's slowly pushing inside you, making you whine out his name as you feel him stretch you. it's not an easy fit, but his kisses make the pain easier to bear. when a tear escapes your eyes, he asks you, his eyebrows furrowed in concern, "is it very painful?" "not very but it's been a while." he leaves kisses on your hairline. "i'll be gentle, princess."

you grip his locks tighter, pulling his face away to make eye contact.

"you better not dare, choi seungcheol."

something breaks in him. his hips begin to move faster, as he pushes your hands above your head, holding them as if handcuffed, and he's biting hickeys all over your neck. he's thrusting harder now, and your second-hand bed is already making noises. but it seems to arouse you more for some reason. something about him shaking everything around you and moulding you and everything about you to him makes you want him more.

you can't stop moaning his name, as he whispers into your ear, "i can feel how close you are baby. can feel your cunt clenching around me." "pl-please, cheol. need you more, please!" "more? faster?" you nod feverishly, and he pulls away, biting his bottom lip in concentration, one hand gripping the bed, and the other your leg around his waist, as he fucks into you.

you take in his full form, towering over you like adonis. beads of sweat falling down his pecs and his hair falling into his eyes. the sight is so beautiful that you cum right then, even as seungcheol fucks you through the orgasm.

you can feel that he's close, his dick twitching inside you, as he's making your eyes roll back. even after one orgasm, he keeps fucking you. "give me one more, baby. cum with me." and then he shifts one hand to rub your clit, and you moan under the additional touch. the last straw is when you clench around him so hard that he lets out a strangled moan and reaches his climax too. you can feel the condom become warmer, and you tremble all over as you cum again because of that sensation.

when your eyes open again, seungcheol's pulled out from you, but he sneakily lets in a finger in between your folds and licks it clean.

"seungcheol?" your broken whisper makes him look up at you.

he smirks. "you taste like nectar, baby."

_

seungcheol's insomnia doesn't let him get a full night's sleep on most nights. if he's lucky, he'll sleep for four hours at once, dreamless rest that leaves him fully charged for the next day. on other days, he'll stare into the night sky for hours, sleep eluding him. some nights he'll go to his daughters' room, and watch them sleep, his heart filling up with a warmth that's comforting like chicken soup. on other nights, he'll open his laptop, put on his glasses and finish his case files.

everyone wonders how seungcheol is so efficient at his profession. only he knows why.

but ever since you've come into his life, everything's changed.

he can no longer focus on work. he's distracted, making silly typing errors and forgetting details. but he's sleeping the best ever in a long time. he doesn't remember when was the last time he'd slept this well. it must've been before the fights had started with his ex-wife.

today, seungcheol sleeps for eight hours straight.

and he knows why.

it's because he's wrapped around you, your body melting into his under the duvet. your head's resting on his arm, but his arm doesn't hurt at all. your hair shines with the sunlight streaming in through the gaps between the curtains, but you sleep through the slight pouring into your eyes. you look particularly angelic today morning, and he feels his entire being shiver with the new-found affection for you.

you're his.

finally.

well, hopefully.

jeonghan had told him yesterday when he'd told him about his feelings for you, you've not been turned down until you've been turned down. so shoot your shot.

and oh, he had shot his shot. shot it too fast in fact. the clarity of the morning makes him suddenly worry if going straight into your bed last night had been too quick and you'll think poorly of him now. then there's the worry about you going to sleep without eating dinner last night- what if you wake up angry? another worry crops in his head as he realises it's a saturday. he doesn't have to go to work today, but you might have to. what if you get upset at him for not waking you up on time? the warm, glorious light in seungcheol's heart dims slightly as he realises you have so many reasons to turn him down.

so he lightly shakes you, whispering your name in your ear, until he feels you whisper out a soft five minutes. it makes his heart melt again, but he's more worried about you missing a work day.

"wake up, princess, you're going to be late."

as if hearing a magic word, you jolt awake, staring right into his eyes.

"late?! what's the time? fuck, it's nine-thirty!"

"it's saturday though. do you have work today?"

and then you fall back on his arm with a huff.

"saturday! of course i don't have work today. why did you wake me up!" you whine and turn around so that you're now snuggled into seungcheol's bare chest, your hair only slightly tickling him. the warm light in his heart shines bright again as he feels you cling to him.

"i didn't know if you work on saturday or not." seungcheol leaves a kiss in your hair, and you let out a satisfied sigh.

"now you know. never forget, okay? never wake me up on weekends."

never forget.

"i won't." another kiss in your hair. another sigh that makes his chest buzz. another kiss. and then you open one eye to peer at him, and he smiles at your cuteness. so there's another kiss, and then another, and then-

"stop!" you move out of his arms, giggling, your eyes finally open.

"i can't. you're too cute."

"shhhh!" you lean in to kiss him on the mouth, a gentle peck, and seungcheol takes the opportunity to wrap you in his arms again. "don't go far away." he's more serious that his tone implies, but somehow you realise that too. so you snuggle in closer, your head almost on his chest now. "i won't."

after a few long minutes of you being still in his arms, and him smelling your scent through your hair, you finally shuffle and pull him down so that his head is now resting on the pillow and you're resting your head on your palm, perched on the pillow using your elbow as support, looking down at him with clear fondness in your eyes.

"you're very romantic today, mr choi."

"do you not like it?"

"no. on the contrary, i love it."

at your words, he smiles, and you let out a fake gasp. "the rabbit has dimples!" and you attack his face with kisses, leaving him giggly and blushing as you smother him with love.

when you're finally done, he pulls your face in for a kiss and then you go back to your position to look at him from above.

"come lie down next to me."

"no this view is prettier."

seungcheol scoffs, hiding the way his heart is racing with your words. it's been years since anything barely romantic- a few dates here and there. but this is teenage seungcheol again, falling head over heels for a girl with a pretty smile and a cute way of speaking her mind.

"this view is the prettiest," he says and he's rewarded with your pretty smile again. so he spends a minute staring at the view, taking in your beauty.

you've not been turned down until you've been turned down. so shoot your shot. somehow jeonghan's nagging voice comes up in his head again and makes him remember that he's yet to ask you properly.

so he counts to three and says it.

"i like you, y/n. a lot. as i told you last night."

a strawberry latte blush taints your cheeks.

"and as i told you last night, you're pretty much my dream man, seungcheol. i've been crushing on you since my freshman year."

well that was easy.

"that long?" seungcheol feels his confidence cruise back, a smirk on his lips.

"don't laugh at me."

"i'm not. it's just unbelievable that you liked me back then. i wasn't even well off back then."

"who even cares about that! you were confident, manly, intelligent and passionate about your work. and so, so handsome. how could anyone not like you?"

"am i not handsome now?"

"of course you are, silly. that's why i still like you." you roll your eyes, as if it's so obvious. "i couldn't even date guys for a long time because i kept comparing them to you in my mind."

seungcheol's eyes go wide. "wait, really? that's kinda sad."

you laugh. "maybe, but who cares? none of them were nice in the end. that's why i kept going back to crushing on you." you lean in to kiss the mole on his cheek.

"how long has it been since your last relationship?"

"hmmm, about seven months? broke up before i graduated."

"and sex?" he hopes you can't see the way he's holding back his breath as you answer. "about a year."

and then he lets out his breath.

"and you?" you ask him, running your fingers through his hair.

he hesitates before replying. "nine years," his voice is weak.

and then you do what he's been fearing for so long.

you laugh.

"wow. that's like... that is long." but your expression changes into a serious one soon. "but you haven't lost any of your technique yet. so it's a win in my books. i don't even have to be jealous of anyone else. who was your last lucky lady?"

"my ex-wife." seungcheol winces as he mentally prepares himself for all the reasons you might turn him down.

but you don't. your serious expression remains even as you're surprised. "you were married? is she the mother of sol and byul?"

"yeah."

you nod your head slowly, digesting the information. after a second you say, "i can't fathom why anyone would leave you and your two perfect little girls."

seungcheol's smile turns bitter. "she did. but it doesn't matter. she's found a better life now, after moving away to the US with her new husband. and i've found a better life too, moving away from her."

you nod again. "you're very brave, cheol." and you kiss his cheek again, and seungcheol's heart swells at how maturely you've handled this conversation. but there's yet more reasons for you to reject him.

when you pull away to look at him again, you softly ask him, "are your daughters okay with the idea of you dating again?" dating. there are tingles all over seungcheol's body as you finally quash all worries from his mind. "i haven't explicitly discussed this with them," he says with some hesitation. "that being said, i think they like you a lot. you made a very strong first impression. and trust me, for ten year olds as stubborn as mine, a first impression is all that matters."

"they're just like you," you giggle, your hand fondly cupping his cheek. "but seriously. they like me as a friend... as your colleague. what if they don't like me as your... girlfriend?"

girlfriend. seungcheol wants to flip you down on the bed and make love to you all over again, but he resists his urge. he settles for wrapping his hand around your hips and caressing them. "they'll love you, princess. they've longed for a mother figure for long enough." after a pause he says, "i'm worried they'll not see you as a mother figure but as a sister."

you burst out laughing. "what?!"

"i'm much older than you, y/n."

"so?"

"i'm thirty-six, y/n."

"that's not old. i'm twenty-three."

seungcheol chokes on his own words. "exactly. i'm literally old enough to be your father, y/n."

"well, you'd have to become a father really really early then," you say, laughing.

"y/n, be serious."

"i am being serious. i've met men who're twenty but act like they're forty. what really matters is what you've got here-" and you poke at his chest where his heart's supposed to be.

"i'm going to die thirteen years before you!"

"darling, i don't think that's how death works."

darling. seungcheol's heart hammers against his chest as he pulls you in for a deep kiss. and then you pull away from him. "you're a dilf, seungcheol. that's like 80% of why i'm attracted to you. bet i wouldn't be attracted to twenty-three year old you." there's a teasing glint in your eyes, but seungcheol still whines as he feels upset at your teasing words. "babyyyy!" you laugh at his deepening pout, and lean in to kiss his pout in a peck, before getting out of bed.

seungcheol's mouth falls open as he takes in your soft curves which look even more alluring in the daylight. something about the way your ass sways as you walk makes his dick twitch in interest, but seungcheol curses himself. he can't be thirty-six and this hormonal, for fucks' sake.

you open the closet door to pull out a loose t-shirt and shorts, wearing them without any underwear. "do you want to stay for breakfast?"

a lazy grin spreads on seungcheol's face as he stretches his body in bed, relishing the way you ogle his stretching biceps, and he casually pushes the blanket away from his hips to reveal his toned stomach to you too.

"i want to stay for the rest of my life, rookie."

he's left with no doubt of reciprocation of his feeling as he sees the blush on your face as you hide and run from him at his cheesy words.

[rebeltarot]

CAREER ➕ Blessings coming toward you in your career

"I still remember the nights I wished for the things I have now."

[3 piles] ・ [5 decks] ・ [8-10 cards for each pile] ・ [letters, signs, songs]

Hello friends! As we are nearing the end of this quarter I wanted to create a reading all about blessings coming toward you in your career. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. What are your hopes and dreams regarding your career? Do you have any goals you want to achieve in this area this year? Definitely let me know. Regardless of what you are hoping for, I wish you all the best and lots of luck. ♡♡

Painting: Dancers, Pink and Green by Edgar Degas (ca. 1890)

Helpful Links: How to choose your pile ➕ Request a reading

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

© rebeltarot 2023-2024 - all rights reserved ・ do not steal, copy, change, or redistribute my content.

PILE 01 ➕

Disclaimer: All Tarot readings on this blog are meant for entertainment purposes only. My Pick-a-card readings are based on my knowledge of the tarot and my intuition. Tarot is a divination tool and should not be considered a replacement for medical or professional guidance. It is not intended to be used as such, and any choices made in response to my readings are your own responsibility. All interpretations are speculative, and whether you believe in it is your choice. Readings are for self-reflection purposes only; take what resonates, and leave the rest. My readings are timeless unless stated otherwise.

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

C, A, R, E, E, I, 3rd House, Mercury, Scorpio

Song: Mother's Daughter (R3HAB Remix) - Miley Cyrus

BLESSINGS COMING TOWARD YOU IN YOUR CAREER

Tarot: 5 of cups, 10 of cups, the sun, the devil rx, 9 of pentacles rx

Oracle: the dragon, the king, emotion, imum coeli, moon in leo

Hello, Pile 01, and welcome to your reading. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. With the 5 of cups, it feels like for the longest time you were struggling in your career. This does not necessarily mean that there was no progress, but it was not emotionally fulfilling for you. This could also talk about a lack-mindset in terms of your career, i.e., not feeling worthy of it or not seeing a future with it. Some of you might feel like an imposter in your current position. Yes, you are wearing the title, but you do not feel like you deserve it. This is where your blessing is happening. It's going to address your hustling mentality and your superficiality in your career. It feels like you might have given more than you were able to, pouring from an empty cup just to feel like you deserve to be where you are. Whatever you were doing, it's unsustainable. I feel like you were once very passionate about your current career but fell out of love with it because you were overworking yourself too much, nearly burning out. What I see coming towards you is something that most would consider extremely lucky, as we have the ladybug in the imagery of this card. 10's in tarot talk about an excess of energy; in this case, it's positive energy. Something significant will happen that will indicate the end of one cycle and ring in a new one of abundance and emotional fulfillment. Your cards are not saying what is going to happen, just how it will affect you, and my god, pile 01, you're going to be so happy with this change. The sun is following the 10 of cups. You will experience a lot of success in your career, which will bring you lots of abundance. There is a sense of alignment and harmony. This most likely refers to your mindset. I feel like you are going to check yourself, and seek out an environment that fulfills you. Implementing the changes that need to be made to end this cycle of adversity and struggle. This is truly a positive spread, especially with the devil reversed ending this. You will step into self-empowerment. There is a sense of breaking free from things (be they people, situations, or mindsets) that held you prisoner. I see you freeing yourself from this hustling mindset and stepping into a deeper understanding of your wants and needs. It feels like you will pay attention to more than your salary in whatever you are doing next. You won't just be swayed by a fancy title and a big paycheck; you are digging deeper; you are looking for and finding something that is truly fulfilling. This does not mean that we are talking about a new job here or a new position. Not necessarily. But rather, I see this as you taking on a new perspective and thus realigning yourself with who you are, including your values and your desires. I see you detaching from superficial aspects of your career and digging deeper into what you need to feel fulfilled. 

The dragon and the king are both confirming what we have already seen with the devil reversed. You are stepping into your power and taking charge instead of letting superficial aspects control you. It never brought you any satisfaction. I see you taking charge, especially in terms of legalities. Maybe you are renegotiating your contract, or you are signing a new one, but either way, it's all happening because you wish it to happen, meaning you are initiating it and taking charge of it. This pile is mostly about emotional fulfillment and not so much about the superficial aspects of your career, because it feels like the majority of this pile is already well-established in their career. This is a change and a blessing happening at the root of things. It's about values, fulfillment, alignment, and resonance. I feel like you were growing a massive tree on shallow roots, and your blessing is that you are accommodating your tree and allowing it to grow sustainable and strong roots. Again, it's not necessarily a career change; this might only apply to a very small percentage of this group. For most, this talks about working with what you have, not uprooting your career, but nurturing the soil and foundation that you hold. As I have said, for most of you, this is a mindset shift followed by minor changes, maybe in terms of working hours, etc. I feel like you might bring new ideas into your career, expanding what you are already doing and incorporating a more creative element into it. Others might share an idea, be it for a project, etc., which will allow you to turn your dreams into reality. Either way, needs that have not been met before are now being met, and whatever you wish for will find solid footing soon. It will manifest in your life. Fulfillment is coming.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

© rebeltarot 2023-2024 - all rights reserved ・ do not steal, copy, change, or redistribute my content.

PILE 02 ➕

Disclaimer: All Tarot readings on this blog are meant for entertainment purposes only. My Pick-a-card readings are based on my knowledge of the tarot and my intuition. Tarot is a divination tool and should not be considered a replacement for medical or professional guidance. It is not intended to be used as such, and any choices made in response to my readings are your own responsibility. All interpretations are speculative, and whether you believe in it is your choice. Readings are for self-reflection purposes only; take what resonates, and leave the rest. My readings are timeless unless stated otherwise.

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

O, blank, G, A, K, E, 6th House, Mercury, Gemini

Song: All for us - Labrinth

BLESSINGS COMING TOWARD YOU IN YOUR CAREER

Tarot: the emperor, ace of cups, 2 of wands, king of cups rx

Oracle: trust, healing, midheaven, solar eclipse

Hello, Pile 02, and welcome to your reading. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. It feels like you are feeling overwhelmed, my dear pile 02. When it comes to your career, it seems like you are feeling quite anxious and detached. You might even be withdrawing from it in one way or another. I heard "quiet quitting" while writing this. Whatever the current situation at your work is, it's far from ideal. It feels like you are holding back anger too. This is a very specific thing I see, but I feel like some of you might have felt betrayed. You are not showing it, but you are also not ignoring whatever has happened and led to your feeling of turmoil. You are actively taking away your effort to balance the scales quietly. Again, this might apply to just a handful of you, but the King of Cups, as our bottom deck, is looking upset and vindictive. The good news is that you are taking charge, my dear pile 02. Your blessing is that you take authority over this situation and maneuver whatever has happened that led to you withdrawing from your career into a success story for yourself. It feels like you are taking the cup you are holding, and instead of withholding it from everyone, including yourself, you are pouring your energy and your efforts into yourself. You are "upgrading" yourself, is what I heard. Interesting; this pile is very vocal. So maybe you are speaking up for yourself. Whatever it is, it's been a long time coming, and it relates to something you have held on to for quite some time. Your blessing is that you create stability. A new beginning is awaiting. It can relate to a brand new position, a job at a new company, or even your own business. Whatever the case may be, I see you in a leading position. And you are comfortable there. Maybe the King of Cups, in reverse, talked about suppressing your leadership talent and making you uncomfortable and upset. Either way, this new position of leadership will give you a whole new beginning, especially emotionally. I am hearing "clean slate." This is such a vocal pile! Someone might be giving you their scepter; for some, it might not be a voluntary handoff, but either way, it will be fulfilling for you. I see you climbing the ladder. Whatever your goals are in your career, you are getting closer to them. Plans are being made. For some, it might even relate to a position overseas. For sure, big decisions are made relating to the future. Both for you and for your career. 

Trust is your next card. With the King of Cups reversed, this is slow-moving energy. It's not something that happens overnight. Especially since for some of you, the handover is not made willingly (i.e., the person leaving said position does not want to do so). Your guides are asking you to trust the process. Trust that what you are going through is meant to happen and that what is promised to you will happen. You are currently in the healing stages, but your career journey (your negative experience right now) is soon coming to a pinnacle. You are going to reach your goals faster than you might have anticipated. A solar eclipse might be significant. This could be an indicator of timing. Either way, this new beginning, this rebirth of yours, is your blessing, and it will come with a handful of opportunities. I see you regaining your passion and your inspiration, and you will feel at home in this position of leadership that is soon to come. 

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

© rebeltarot 2023-2024 - all rights reserved ・ do not steal, copy, change, or redistribute my content.

PILE 03 ➕

Disclaimer: All Tarot readings on this blog are meant for entertainment purposes only. My Pick-a-card readings are based on my knowledge of the tarot and my intuition. Tarot is a divination tool and should not be considered a replacement for medical or professional guidance. It is not intended to be used as such, and any choices made in response to my readings are your own responsibility. All interpretations are speculative, and whether you believe in it is your choice. Readings are for self-reflection purposes only; take what resonates, and leave the rest. My readings are timeless unless stated otherwise.

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

O, B, G, A, 8th house, Uranus, Virgo

Song: Only You - Eddie Benjamin, Alessia Cara

BLESSINGS COMING TOWARD YOU IN YOUR CAREER

Tarot: 6 of wands, wheel of fortune rx, the star, King of swords rx, judgment

Oracle: the wasp, energy, jupiter, lunar eclipse

Hello, Pile 03, and welcome to your reading. Please remember that a “blessing” can be anything that protects us, makes us happy, or points us in the right direction. Wow, this is a pile with a bunch of major arcana. Whatever is happening for you, it sure is significant. Your situation is not easy, and it seems complicated. Interestingly, your tarot cards are telling a story and leading into your blessing. You are someone who is established, successful, highly regarded at work, and known for the great results you bring. Your peers do not doubt your skill set. However, it feels like whenever you hit a goal or whenever you experience a win, the wheel is turning sharply for you. Every hit of luck is met with a hit of misfortune. It does not have to be major, though it feels this way to you. It's something you might already be anticipating. However, your prospects are bright, my dear pile 3. How about a mindset shift? Instead of the bad following the good, how about the good following the bad? It's so interesting, your pile. Your blessing is your faith and your hope. This might sound anticlimactic, but it's the most powerful blessing one can get. Luck is unpredictable and unreliable. But hope and faith in yourself and your abilities? Confidence? That's something that can get you places. It's something that leads to intrinsic motivation and actions being taken. Your hope means pouring into yourself, tending the garden of your soul, and allowing things to sprout and bloom for you. Again, bright prospects for you. You will be blessed with an idea and inspiration. This vision will fertilize your soil, and it will allow you to make your wildest dreams come true. Your pile is so interesting because we have a good card followed by a challenging card, and so on, but eventually, we are ending your spread with a positive one. It's reminding me of a seesaw, and I swear it's giving me whiplash. You might feel this way. Having a bad thing leads to a good thing, and vice versa. But again, your ability to keep your head held high and your ability to still believe is a true blessing in and of itself. I feel like you are lying to yourself with the king of swords in reverse. You might feel like you are crumbling under all this pressure and under all these changes that seem to follow you around, but you are not. You are growing in your power, your ability, and your adaptability because that is the skill set that you need. That's the skillset that will bring you far and eventually to a lot of abundance. Your blessing, ultimately, is a rebirth of the self with the judgment card. You will receive an idea, an epiphany. This will lead to you finding your purpose and a renewal of your career. This seems to be such a common theme across all piles, but to me, in your pile, this sounds like growth. It sounds like a level-up. In your pile, especially, we can see the impact that it will have on your life with those three major Arcana cards. It's the birth of something. This is my entrepreneurial pile. I feel like most people in this pile either run their own business or want to do so at some point. Either way, you are birthing something, and it will lead to you having people against you. It's not an easy journey, but it is very well worth it.

The wasp is confirming the king of swords, Rx, in its message. Someone will not be happy about your wins. Do you know what is so funny in your pile, though? The wasp card is followed by the energy card, which has oranges depicted on it. And you know what repels wasps? You are right about citrus fruits, which oranges are. Your energy, the essence of who you are, is so strong and so powerful that those people just cannot touch you even if they try. Your ability to believe and to push through adversity makes you unstoppable. Whatever path you are choosing to walk, it's less traveled, one that is hard, and that takes a lot of power and will. Not everyone can achieve what you set out to achieve, leading to people envying you. But again, these people are an annoyance at worst; they are unable to touch you or your bag. And abundance is waiting for you, for sure. All your hard work and all the adversities you are facing are eventually there to help you grow and lead you toward success. Yes, it might feel like whiplash sometimes with all those huge wins being met with huge obstacles, but what is waiting for you is unmatched my dear pile three. Eventually, you will get whatever you desire, and then some. For that to happen, you have to go through a transformation, and we all know that growing pains hurt. But you will come out on the other side as a winner. Remember that you are always protected.

Your reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you so much for supporting my work!

© rebeltarot 2023-2024 - all rights reserved ・ do not steal, copy, change, or redistribute my content.

[ivesambrose]

JUNE 2024 MINI MESSAGES 🌿💚

1. 2. 3.

Kept it short and sweet

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

Masterpost

Services Offered

Thank You for the tip! ✨

Picture 1

A substantial focus is on yourself, your physical body and your health. You'll be wanting to take life slowly. It is likely you've been feeling energetically depleted and feeling sleepy more than usual or being around or engaging with certain people or activities isn't making you feel as good. On a positive note, this will allow you to bring your attention and energy back to yourself which in turn will make you realize certain aspects of your health you may have overlooked. Y ou might be switching up or prioritising a skincare and wellness routine, opt for slower workouts or dancing, anything that makes you feel beautiful and good from within instead of amping up your stress or cortisol levels. Some of you might be quitting smoking or drinking this month too. You might also be focusing on holistic healthcare or healing yourself via the food you eat. You will be moving more, just you won't be in a hurry. Infact, there's no need to rush anything. let the money and love come to you as you stay open to receive. Your worldview might also change or you might end up influencing others via your perspectives. You might engage in creating something artsy, whatever that may be. The more you do things for yourself instead of catering to what's trending or what others keep demanding of you, the more you'll bloom.

Stay loyal to your goals, remain stubborn about them, no matter what. Also, try getting a haircut or new color sometime this month.

Picture 2

Just let it happen. You've been wanting that drastic change but you couldn't do that for yourself or you've tried to do it for yourself but you didn't know how so you just gave up. The emotions piled up regardless. So simply let this happen, it will, inevitably. It might be the most unexpected thing ever, it may not even be as smooth at first, you might as well be that gif of Rebel Wilson screaming, 'Enough!" Any form of upheaval you face this month even if it's a mental or emotional one, know that it's necessary to bring back order into your life. Chaos and order do go hand in hand, right?

By the end of this month you'l be feeling more powerful if anything. You're no one's charity case and you're certainly not meant to remain frozen in this particular mindset you've been carrying. It's keeping you stuck in ways that's doing you more harm than good. You'l also be able to weed out people who are a part of your life as pretense and only want to take from you. You'll also be able to see the ones who look over you rather silently. There's a gift of discernment and intuition you're being blessed with here. write down every idea or thought or dream as strange it might seem this month It doesn't matter how you're going to make it come true or how it connects to anything else, it will make sense later, perhaps by Virgo or Libra season?

Again, time isn't important. But your dominant thoughts, certainly are. Befriend your mind and don't look back.

Picture 3

You're loved and desired extensively and you don't even realize that. For most of you I'm seeing you romanticize your life in whatever way you see it, maybe even switching up things in your room or beautifying your surroundings nd yourself. You'll feel closer to your loved ones this month or just have a lot of gratitude towards them. Yes, even if you prefer being alone. The focus is on relationships and partnerships and being extremely choosy with the ones you associate yourself with. There are quite a few people who want to know you and get closer to you even pursue you romantically. A good month for your personal business and finances or even manifesting a creative or desired opportunity through the right people and the right time. Don't shy away from your own potential. Some of you might also be engaging in proper manifestion rituals or even praying for something big. A lot of you have truly, sincerely decided to lock in and that determination in itself ill get you what you seek. By the end of this month I see movement. Physical travel as well.

For some of you, there's this manifestion you consider 'big' again, it's something personal to you, it might be something small to someone else, but what matters is how important it is to you, it'll come through in Leo season mostly or for some during Sagittarius season. Either way, just know what you want, is already yours.

[livvyliveslife]

10 Things to let go of in 2024

1 - Release the weight of self doubt - your journey is uniquely yours and you are more than capable to achieve your journey 2 - Say goodbye to the pressure of perfection - embrace the beauty in progress - your journey is a masterpiece in the making 3 - Let go of toxic energy - surround yourself with positivity and watch your overall wellness flourish 4 - Release the need for external validation - your worth is not determined by others' opinions - validate yourself and prioritise self love 5 - Part ways with comparison - comparison is the thief of joy from your unique path, celebrate victories big or small because your journey is incomparable 6 - Release the habit of overthinking - your mind deserves peace - embrace the present moment and release unnecessary mental clutter 7 - Say bye to the fear of failure - every stumble is 1 step closer to success, embrace the lessons and let go of the fear holding you back 8 - Let go of the 'all or nothing' mindset - progress is progress, no matter how small. Celebrate every step forward on your wellness journey 9 - Release the attachment to the past - your power lies in the present moment - learn from the past but don't let it define your future 10 - Say goodbye to the idea of the 'perfect' routine - wellness is about flexibility and self - compassion. Embrace the ebbs and flows of your journey

[alexistudies]

wednesday, march 13th 2024

i think one of the best things to come out of my PhD (so far) is that i am learning to embrace finitude, and focusing more on the aspects of "what did i learn from this" instead of dwelling on getting a great grade. let me explain.

let's say i was taking this intro to neural engineering class in undergrad, where these hard as hell MATLAB assignments were due like once a month. i would be literally shitting a brick about trying to get it right, staying up late and compromising my health for the assignment, and then stressing like crazy over the grade. for it to all, subsequently and eventually, end up being fine and not the end of the world.

now, as a 1st year PhD student, in this exact position of having a hard as hell assignment that i kind of just figured out as i go, i'm not even trippin. like, i'm probably going to get half credit and i'm genuinely fine with that. why? because I: 1) embraced finitude of knowing that it's just not going to get done and 2) am celebrating the fact that I even learned the concepts to get half credit.

this...is a big mental shift that i'm really trying to cherish, because it took soooo long for me to get here. i also realize that i'm able to have this change in attitude now because undergrad is over, and for a PhD program, grades don't really matter as long as you meet the requirements to stay in your program. in undergrad, you're aiming for good grades because you want to have access to the next goal (job, internship, or grad school). but my god, is this such a RELIEVING mindset shift.

[theladybrownstarot]

How will be 2024 for you ? 🍷📽

Pick a card reading ~

❥ Here's my masterlist for more !

❥Make sure you like/reblog/follow/Comment to get more pacs like these !

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1.

❥🍷 Hi namaste pile 1 ♡ lets being with your reading~

This year will lead you to achieve more with passion and hard-work that you will be showing and doing for same for your goals and dreams . I can see you all rising in your field whether be education , career or home in any context . You going to be highly confident in your strategies and planning . I can see job promotion or achieving any significant authoritative position only after you will show your real self and will take control of your life in your hands .

If you people used to get confused and stucked with your things then you are not going to be anymore now in 2024 . You are really going to dead serious about your goals seeing this year as one last chance and for this you are gonna do everything like you are going to see the very intrinsic things that you struggle within and outside . You are becoming more observative rather than a chatter box . You are going to maintain very strict boundaries for yourself likely we say buildling discipline and silence and leaving your all old habits you had and destroying all the negative and toxic ties with the people .

Some of you could be tarot readers or fortune teller or psychic and if you aren't then you gonna be in the next year . You are literally going to listen your heart and will silence the chattering of your mind . It's a strong saying when you listen to your heart you will never fear anymore . Start listening to your internal self and you will find yourself connecting your original self strongly .

Pile 1 it's your time now ! Just rock with your heart and claim what was meant for you ~

Pile 1 just because you are passionate about it it doesn't mean that it will be effortless you gotta put everything .

Some of you might meet your soulmates or you gonna start to appreciate yourself more if you didn't used to also you gonna enjoy your life more with balancing your work Family life is gonna be good too .

Pile 2 .

❥🍷 Hi namaste pile 2 ♡ lets being with your reading~

This year is gonna end an cycle and will begin the new one . You are going to have some strong transformations overall like from your appearance to mindset to personality to lifestyle like everything . You are overcoming your fears and insecurity . This change is not going to visible to others till you do something that makes them aware like oh is she\he we thought was ?!

You are going to be feel loved and cared about . You are going to meet certain people who are going to give you some valuable lessons. There is someone who secretly loves you and will approach you soon . You are going to show yourself with the kindness and compassion that was never shown to you before . You are going to do alot of good karmas by helping people but don't become so giving too .

Some people might be pregnant and don't worry healthy delivery is to be assured and good sex life too . Overall the year is gonna be very calming and down to earth . For some abundance in terms of money and looks is coming too . You may get more flowers or things to enrich your environment with positivity .

Some of you might get married this year soon like maybe in April or somewhere months around otherwise marriage is on the card so a healthy baby or pregnancy is to be assured . The left projects will give you success too .

The luck is on your side and if you had some certain issues with the people then go again and have a conversation because you may know more and will be able to stop this disturbance now .

Pile 3 .

❥🍷 Hi namaste pile 3 ♡ lets being with your reading~

You may meet your soulmate or you may connect with some old friends of yours in 2024 . I can see you having some good options in terms of career or love . I don't know but you are going to forgive some certain people who hurted you in anyway .

Man literally you are going to show tough love for your goals and you are becoming more analytical and practical with all things . I see literally a wash out of certain things maybe people you are having or maybe you wanna change your environment or companions so you may become particular with it but at same time you are going to maybe study some thing different than usual or may research on things more as a hobby and find something different .

If you used to be judgemental than you aren't going to in fact you will be accepting your flaws and of others too .

You are going to attract more opportunities in term of money or maybe you will change your job for something good . I see slow and steady progress in term of materials and physical needs .

If you wanna take some risk in you career than go for it and don't be afraid because you are going to blessed with best success possible just have faith your dreams and baby steps not fast please for this you need to meditate and contemplate about things too .

Something drastic change for your life is coming from universe so you are begin advised to surrender your life to divine an just do what you have too .

❥

❥ Here the reading ends! Do tell me by comments that how was the reading and did it resonated with you ?

[freyatarotreadings8]

How Can You Improve Your Life Till The End Of This Year | PAC

Pick a picture 1 - 2 - 3

PILE 1

Hi, sunshine! I hope you are doing amazing. 3 of Cups signifies the importance of social connection and celebration. To improve your life, stop isolating yourself! Focus on strengthening your bonds with friends, family, folks around you. Engage in social activities. Let go of toxic people and surround yourself with supportive people. Positive social interactions can significantly contribute to your overall well-being. Don't forget to celebrate achievements. Share your successes with others and bask in the positive energy of accomplishment. The Magician is a card of manifestation and empowerment. Set clear intentions for what you want to manifest in your life by the end of the year. Tap into your creative power and try different practices to manifest your desires, but don't forget to take practical steps to bring your wishes into reality. Identify your goals, use your skills and resources effectively. Remember that you have an ability to shape your own destiny. 9 of Cups is wish card, represents emotional fulfillment and contentment. To improve your life, focus on what brings you joy and satisfaction. Surround yourself with positivity. Use affirmations, meditate, spend time in nature, drink more water. You also can create a harmonious space for yourself. Your emotional well-being is key to a fulfilling life. Identify your deepest wishes. If you have a goal, it means that you have inner source to reach it.

Personal tarot readings are available! Hurry up to book a reading about your 2024.

PILE 2

Hi there, sweetheart! I hope you are okay! The Hanged Man reversed indicates a release from a period of suspension or feeling stuck. To improve your life, consider what emotional blockages you may be holding onto. You need to release and let go of any limiting beliefs, outdated perspectives. You need to adopt a more open and optimistic mindset and start moving forward. Embrace a fresh outlook on challenges and opportunities. Consider alternative approaches and be open to change.

2 of Cups represents a harmonious connection, soulmates. Focus on building and nurturing meaningful connections (romantic relationships, friendships, collaborations). Seek harmony and mutual support. Spend time with people who uplift and support you. Communicate openly with loved ones and seek to strengthen your connections. Share your thoughts and feelings openly. Honest communication fosters understanding.

9 of Swords indicates mental distress, anxiety and overthinking. Address any worries or fears that may be keeping you awake at night. Practice mindfulness, seek support and consider practical solutions to alleviate mental stress. You can also practice meditations, deep breathing exercises, self compassion and self love. If you really need help, seek a professional.

Personal tarot readings are available! Hurry up to book a reading about your 2024.

PILE 3

Hello, darling! I hope you are doing pretty good. 7 of Pentacles indicates a need patience. Take a step back and evaluate your current situation. Consider what is working well and what may need adjustments. Celebrate the small wins along the way. King of Wands represents leadership, passion and decisive action. After a small pause, set clear goals and have a vision for your future. What do you want to achieve? Develop a plan of action and start taking bold and confident steps toward your goals. Don't be afraid to make decisions. Lead with passion, enthusiasm. Take responsibility for your own life and the future. While taking bold actions, remember the importance of patience. Page of Swords represents curiosity, studies, being online and a willingness to learn. Adopt a curious mindset. Seek new information, explore innovative ideas and be open to learning. Start developing or improving skills that can contribute to your personal and professional growth. Work on your communication. Clear and effective communication is crucial. Be articulate, honest and open. The Page of Swords also encourages effective communication.

Personal tarot readings are available! Hurry up to book a reading about your 2024.

[mirai-e-jump]

Monthly TV Guide, October 2024 Issue ft. Kamen Rider Gavv Cast Members (translation below)

Publication: August 23, 2024

Chinen Hidekazu x Hino Yusuke x Miyabe Nozomi

Chinen: The three of us have many scenes together, but even before filming began, we were able to go into the shoot with a mutual relationship.

Miyabe: That's right.

Hino: Hide would suddenly show up at my house and say, "Let's play a game."

Chinen: Hahaha! (laughs).

Hino: From the start, Hide was the first to take the lead in bringing the three of us closer together.

Chinen: I wanted us to get to know each other as quickly as possible, and to film in a condition where we could communicate. Because of that, we all exchanged contact info.

Hino: We exchanged LINEs on the day of our meeting, and from there, he immediately asked us out to a meal, which made me happy, and I think this led to better communication on set.

Miyabe: Even on set, Hide helps everyone around him feel at ease. He's calm, but he's also got a reliable side to him, and he also puts alot of thought into his role. He'll also say things to us like, "Let's try this part here," or "Let's practice alittle more," which has been extremely helpful.

Hino: I mean, he's reliable, or atleast he's trying to be reliable (laughs).

Chinen: Eh?!

Hino: That's what's so wonderful about you (laughs).

Chinen: Thank you (laughs). With this production, we've been taking on alot of different challenges, wouldn't you say?

Hino: That's right. First, It's not an easy experience to play the same role for a whole year, right? Because we have a year to work on it, I think there's a certain way to develop and immerse ourselves into it, and if we can do that, I think we can grow alot as actors, so I'm going to go all out.

Chinen: I also want to do my best with action. I've always practiced karate while in Okinawa, so I'd like to become an actor who can also do action. Even now, I'm learning one on one from everyone on the Action Team, and they teach me cool moves that I've sought after myself by saying, "I want to try this move."

Miyabe: I play the role of a flashy gyaru president, but it's the complete opposite of my actual self. Still, I also think it's alot of fun to play an opposite type of role like this, so I hope to continue to expand on that range and to be able to connect with it in the future.

Hino: Is it fun being a gyaru?

Miyabe: It's so much fun!

Hino: Somehow, you're more cheerful than you've been before.

Chinen: I really thought that! I thought that living with a gyaru mindset makes you cheerful, as well as the people around you. For the first time I thought about gyarus, and I thought that being a gyaru is great.

Miyabe: "Being a gyaru is great"! (laughs).

Chinen: I think I'm envious of that mindset…!

Hino: It's positive, isn't it?

Chinen: Yeah. I hope to be able to incorporate that kind of positivity into my own personality. _

-This is what I want to fight with!! Food & Tactics-

Chinen: I think liquid types would be strong. Like the carbonated kinds.

Hino: Shouldn't we limit this to sweets…?

Chinen: Alright then, it'd be konjac jelly! It'd be the type that jiggles and would absorb the opponent's attack. It could repel various things.

Miyabe: I see (laughs). I love plums, so by using it's sour power, it'd make the opponent lose it's strength.

Chinen: That might be the most unpleasant thing for the opponent's side. I don't think I'd be able to keep my eyes open (laughs).

Hino: Ah, that could happen!

Miyabe: In that case, it'd be something like plum candy or plum tablets!

Hino: I'd use experimental types. It'd be like, I put powder 1 and powder 2 together and then mix them.

Chinen: I see!

Hino: That's how I'd restrain my opponent.

Miyabe: It sounds like it would take alot of time and effort to mix (laughs).

Chinen: Would you tell the enemy, "Hold on a sec" (laughs).

Hino: We'd need to establish an unspoken rule that they don't attack during that time (laughs).

[icanseethefuture333]

A energy reading on

Megan Thee Stallion

Megan's energy for 2024:

Megan's energy is going to be very sensual, feminine, and confident for 2024. There is a transformation in her spirit and we are going to witness her enter a new chapter in her life. A snake concept has been a big theme for her music lately and I see her really embodying the nature of a serpent. She is "shedding" an older version of herself that was in pain and dealt with a lot of suffering. I'm getting strongly There are people who want to keep her there in that place. "Dark night of the soul". I geniunely believe people are praying on her downfall. It's very disturbing there are energy vampires surrounding her and she should definitely make sure to protect her peace. Megan is going to be the center of attention for sure. People won't stop talking about her, good or bad. There is a lot of jealousy and envy pointed towards her as well. Men hate on her because they know could never be with a woman like her and women wish they could be her. Megan is going to rebel from what the traditional roles that women take place in the industry. I heard "Nobody is gonna pimp me out! I ain't scared of nothing." Megan is going to open doors for female rappers to speak up about the mistreatment they have faced in the industry. Allowing for people to do what has never been done before. People are already exposing celebrities like Nicki Minaj for example for her malicious behavior. What's standing out to me is the "Queen" and "Goddess" card. There are female spirits watching over her. I believe this could be her ancestral family watching over her and guiding her through this journey. I also believe this could be a goddess Megan worships perhaps or is taking inspiration from. We might see a music video with this concept in particular. Alchemist? I believe she is manifesting something or doing spellwork. Megan is knowledgeable about spirituality and the occult more than we even know. This is not to imply that this is her religion but I remember when Judi from Bad Girls Club would say "I got the voodoo for you bitch!". So I believe how that pertains to Megan is that she knows she is divinely protected and regardless what people do/say to her she knows her faith, spirit guides, and ancestors will protect her from harm.

What's going to happen in Megan's career:

Megan is going to be coming to terms with her past trauma and releasing any feelings of grief, shame, and misfortune. Megan could of had thoughts where she felt her loved ones passing was her fault and that she should have done more for them. I'm hearing like "No this wasn't your fault, you did your best". So perhaps she went to therapy, she consoled herself, or had a love one to be by her side during this trouble. Whatever the case may be, the conversations provided her with great clarity. I also believe she went through a period of isolation and reflection to think about what she should do next. (Channeled song: Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash) Megan could have contemplated if she should leave the entertainment industry entirely or continue to live her dreams. "Is this really worth my peace of mind?" I am hearing a older woman's voice and she is saying "Girrrl, I know I taught you to keep your head up and not let anyone take your place. If they keep picking on you, you have to be strong and fight back." I feel like this is the words her grandmother would tell her growing up. Her grandmother is persistent on her to keep fighting for her dreams and not to let anyone treat her like a punk. "Y'all better stop messing with my grandbaby". I believe Megan is having this mindset of "If you do good unto others, good things will happen to you". So she is focusing on loving herself and being helpful, kind towards other people. Maybe even helping musicians who are not as famous in the industry and giving them a platform. She is wishing to spread joy and her positive energy. This year Megan will be very abundant in her career and I can see a lot of her desires coming into fruition. There is many accomplishments she will be rewarded for and goals that would be achieved.

[ummick]

mick schumacher is interviewed about his decision to join wec and what challenges he'll face during the season [part 1/2] - 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Interviewer: "When did you have the idea of moving to the WEC with Alpine?" Mick: "The idea arose to basically understand, okay, what can I do to go back to racing? And there were a few options and I think they were probably limited down to around three options, which was one, Super Formula, and Indycar, or you had WEC. And I think that for me the choice of going with WEC was very simple because I still wanted to have that connection to Formula 1, with Mercedes, but also now, because I'm racing with Alpine in WEC, I do have that connection to Alpine in Formula 1, too, right? So to be able to have that connection with both is a great thing, and again, I think that for me racing in such prestigious races as let's say the Le Mans 24 Hours, it's a great, great positon to be in and a great place to also show your potential." Interviewer: "And have you already thought about Le Mans event? Are you excited about one of the most important races?" Mick: "Yes! I don't really know what to expect, so I also don't go in with any expectations. I'll literally just let myself go with the flow, let's say, and see how it goes, because from everybody I've talked to, they say it's the most insane event that you'll ever go to. So yeah, I'm very excited for it. It's ten days of pure racing and pure motorsport, and can't wait to start in it." Interviewer: "Okay. Have you already done a few tests with the new car? Is correct?" Mick: "Yes, correct." Interviewer: "And which are the biggest differences between F1, WEC, if you try to…" Mick: "I think a lot of the underlying systems in the car are very similar to what we have in Formula 1, actually, so a lot of the, let's say, energy management, how the differential works, how all those tools work… So also engine braking, traction control… Well, obviously traction control is very different compared to Formula 1, but all of these key elements are very similar, so in terms of mindset and in terms of approach, I feel like I'm in a good position because I already understand most of those systems. In terms of car behavior, we're talking about a car which obviously weighs a lot of kilos, like we have 1,030 kilos empty on the stats, so if you put a driver and you put fuel into it, it makes the car at least two, three, maybe 400 kilos heavier, compared to a Formula 1 car. On top of that, our aerodynamics are a bit different. I think they're more considered, obviously, as a low-drag setup and just trying to account for as much air through the car, as opposed to make the car as loaded as possible. A Formula 1 car is obviously extremely loaded. You have a lot of downforce, which obviously equally has a lot of drag.

So there's some differences, some similarities, which means driving approaches are also different. You have to be a bit more cautious. You have to be a bit more, let's say, pro-active with working the car, 'cause obviously if… Let's say, once a car goes sideways, it's a lot of momentum, it's a lot of weight that carries the car towards the outside, which means that, yeah, driving style and let's say what you have to think about whilst driving is a bit different, compared to Formula 1." Interviewer: "Okay. And what do you expect from your first race in WEC?" Mick: "I don't know. I don't know what to expect. My goal is to finish the race. I think that in endurance, from everybody that I've talked to, is the key element. You wanna finish the race, you wanna see the checkered flag, 'cause that's the only way you will eventually win a race. For us, also with all the new setups and all the new kind of build that we've done, for us is really gonna be important to just have a clean event, a clean race, and a clear strategy on what we wanna do during the event. And I think that that's gonna be… Once we get close to our testing days, once we get close to Qatar, as well, all of that will be put in order so that we have clear targets, also from each individual what we need to do and how we need to work together." Interviewer: "And from your point of view, which could be the most difficult races in this season?" Mick: "The one race with the most, let's say, uncertainty around is always gonna be Le Mans. You've heard it so much, and all the other racetracks are pretty much Formula 1 circuits, so I know these tracks. For me, I don't think that's gonna be a big issue. Le Mans, on the other hand, is such a prestigious and such a difficult event, with conditions changing within the second. It could be one side of the track you have blue skies, on the other side of the track you have down under 'cause it's raining out buckets, so I think that that's, for me, gonna be the biggest challenge, is to understand and survive Le Mans." Interviewer: "Okay, okay."

[homosekularnost]

how i look explaining to people that the future is a foreign land (1969/2024) is the topic of idolatrine (2013)

i. real life terror as a tool used by evil institutions to draw in followers

in 2013 the subject sings of a scammer playing into the fears of masses to "inflame their minds", something only possible because of the state of the world. in 69/24, the character of nihil (simple charlatan?) opens the song by asking the listener to imagine themselves victims of a totalitarian regime his country was at the time fighting

ii. this fool wants to lead you

in 2013, "idol" and "latrine" coin a new word to pejoratively speak of how the listeners of the song, let us say, buy into this crap

in 69/24, papa nihil repeatedly calls on the listener to "hear him out". both times, he pauses his fearmongering to talk abour peace and love, but notably provides no actionable advice as to how this might be achieved. combined with the earlier line ("fifty-five years from now (...) the dark fascist regime might be gone") which both fails to explicitly name the fascist regime And appears to think it could just go away on its own, it does seem as if nihil would prefer the masses stick to hope and inaction, and not engage in any sort of organizing or resistance (perhaps even remain.... simpletons?)

iii. holy suffering

the chorus of the 69/24 forgotten hit sees nihil prepared for and certain of the imminent nuclear death of our species. he is not going to fight it nor does he call on the listener to do so, but does promise to hold the addressee as this inevitable end comes. the tone of the song and the sick riffs following it naturally led to its current reception, where accepting our upcoming doom together comes off like a positive and an uplifting message

in 2013, however, the lyrical subject plainly and openly stated that such a mindset serves only the charlatan peddling it to you, and that by accepting our suffering, by rushing to the comfort offered by this person, we are only granting evil sovereignity

iv. conclusion

the lyricism of ghost has through the years evolved from the open and oftentimes goofy satire of the catholic dogmas to the more subtle, and thus much more effective expression of the same cult-like manipulation (see: cirice, darkness at the heart of my love). nihil-era music --- while of course much older --- appears to tonally fit into the newer discography

(though while terzo and copia might portray themselves / be portrayed as romantic and tragic figures, nihils main goal seems to be to make devil worship sexy)

the future is a foreign land (69/24) is a perfect example here of a singer whose pretensions at solidarity, sympathy and unity only seek to mask its actual goal: to keep the listener scared, docile, and loyal to the singer. these are the goals ghosts lyrics openly advertised in 2013 -- but with the current state of the world, and with those sick licks tfiafl (69/24) hits you with, the evil correctly guessed it would still get away with it

also with the cold war themes + "if you by then have forgiven me" neither followed nor preceded by an admission of a wrong / a promise to do better + footage showing the many times the us government has failed its own people one could also conclude that the evil institution tf is satirizing here is the us government itself but thats for later

[fucklovepayme]

FLPM Update 2023-2024

Hello guys!

A lot has happened since I last updated this blog. Let me start off by saying that manifestation is so fucking real, I don't care what anyone says. A lot of amazing things have happened to me this past year, and I am very grateful for it. My Saturn's Return (2020-2022) has been so damn rough to me, there was times that I gave up on life. I didn't care about my life or what happened to me. Thankfully that all changed in the beginning of 2023, I guess it is true when they say you have to go through your roughest time in life to receive your biggest blessings!

I manifested girlfriends that are chasing the bag too. I even became friends with some sex workers as well. It feels so good to hang out with true like-minded ladies, we get to freestyle together and hang out at more elevated events. And they are everything I manifested: young, pretty, supportive, and genuine. Unpopular opinion: I was getting tired of hanging out with slight pick mes, small-minded, and broke women. I want girlfriends who dgaf about these men, have an abundant mindset, and have money to do the nice things to come across the rich men we want.

I still dabble in sex work. I recently rejoined the infamous sugaring website (Starts with seek) and surprisingly it's not so bad this time around. Still have to scope out thousands of time wasters and the cheapies but I am meeting more POTs. I also joined some vanilla dating apps and set my settings to meet more established men. I've been out on some pretty nice dates with men that got coins and are not shy to spend it 🤑.

There's been some opportunities which I did some light escort activities 😅. I have a girlfriend that do threesomes with me for the right price. Sometimes we get approached at the bar or we pick out a guy that looks like a trick. If you would've told me that I would be doing threesomes for money (let alone free) 2 years ago, I would have laughed in your face. But now I don't give a damn and will proudly do it for the $$$$ and right man. I sometimes get approached when I'm out alone, and I do not take anything less than $1000. I was thinking about joining Er*s to get some steady tricks, but everytime I try to join it seems like the Universe intervenes and prevents my profile from getting approved :/. I'm still going to do my hoe-tivites until I get that wedding ring from my dream wealthy husband!

I've been hanging out with some powerful (and famous) men and women. I am not going to mention names for obvious reasons, but I met these people by simply being at the right places at the right times. I met a lot of celebrities growing up, but it's different hanging out with them as an adult 😊. At the end of the day, celebrities are just normal people with extra money and recognition.

I also became a home owner, and I did it in the time frame I gave myself. I made a goal list years ago that I wanted to be a home owner by the age of 30, and here we are! I achieved my biggest goal I set for myself, and I did it by myself. I am very blessed and grateful to be able to have my own property and I thank God everyday. Now I need a wealthy generous man who wants to pay for all the renovations I plan on doing!

My life is really a movie and I am enjoying every scene! I literally smile when I think about how much my life has changed this past year, mostly everything has been very positive and what I wanted. It's crazy how everything that has happened to me, started off as a thought, dream, or a journal entry. I believed in myself and did not lose sight of what I wanted in life. I'm so glad I'm a city girl that believes in myself and not a pick me or "bOsS bAbe", otherwise my life would not be as exciting 😉 I sometimes reflect on my adult life so far and I can honestly say that I have a lot of great experiences that the average person couldn't even dream of. I am living my best Samantha Jones and Toni Childs combined life that I have manifested since I was a little girl. Little FLPM would be in so much awe if she saw how she would be living her adult life 🥹.

Overall, I am way happier now than I was 2 years ago. I overcame the darkest time of my life and I am so strong for that and I'm proud of myself. Maybe in another post I will get more into detail of that time period, but right now it is still triggering. I am just happy that I am seeing more positivity into my life and I am open and ready for what's coming next! I will also be more active on this blog, posting at least once a week! Get ready to hop on this fun ride with me!

[juggalomary]

Hey pookies I’m back. After about a month of no chapter four I finally finished it. I technically could’ve continued this on but I want the chapter count higher. Anyways it’s midterm week until Friday the 28th so I will be a bit inactive (even more). Without further ado chapter 4 of who is this kid!!!!

Warning! This chapter has violence, attempted suicide, panic attacks, and brief nondescript vomit, take care and message me if I missed anything!

Ringing in the new year does not mean tinnitus from bombs and guns going off without proper ear protection, but 1 cannot complain as he is still alive. He can’t wait to go back to the compound, he misses the relative quiet of it all. December 31, 2024 his orders were to execute a commander working in the American CIA. Her name was Laswell, they got the intel from a man that macarov trusted just enough to believe. So here 1 sat in the edge of a neighboring building to a luxury hotel that the party was being held, his sniper resting gently on his shoulder and the rubber shavings starting to dig into his chest.

He sat for another hour before the target came into view, a middle aged huge woman with blonde hair hanging around with some brunette of her same age. He focused in on her, leveling the crosshairs with the base if her skull. He waited for a second, hoping she would step fully in front of the window. After three minutes of her not moving he finally decided to take the shot. He ran the risk of it not going and hitting it’s mark, but in reality that was low.

His fingers tightened on the trigger and he re-readied his aim. As his shot was about to go off someone from deeper inside the room tackled her to the ground. He cursed to himself, of course the glare of his fucking sight gave him up. He thinks about trying a different angle and getting her from there but a set of footsteps behind him had him whipping around.

A 6’4 behemoth of a man with a fucking skull on his face muttered something, probably about the damn rubber and how you can’t sneak around on it. He stopped and whipped his gum out when he saw 1 trying to find a way onto the buildings fire escape.

“Hey arsehole, SAS hands where I can see them!” He shouted, the voice he recalled from an earlier mission he was sent in to blow a bank up. He did not obey, capture was not an option, suicide before capture.

Within that mindset 1 crawled over to the edge and let himself fall off of it. He fell,for only a second before he hit something and suddenly couldn’t breathe. He felt blood drip down his back as he sat up, attempting to catch his breath. Upon further investigation he realized he just landed on the balcony of some horrified family’s apartment. He landed on the cold metal and smashed a, (just his luck) cactus in a terracotta pot.

His head was bleeding and there was definitely a crack in his hip. He could feel his heartbeat through his entire body. The was a definite boot thumping sound coming from the inner hallway of the building.

He hobbled to a standing position he groaned and broke in the glass door. Realizing his mistake as the tall man breaks in the front door in and sees him. As the both realize that 1 is not getting out of this, 1 dives into the floor between his legs and pops up behind him in the kitchen, big ass knife in hand.

As the commotion ensues a middle aged man comes out with a shotgun from one of the bedrooms. The tall man shoos him off with just a glare. In this time 1 took it upon himself to slit his wrists. Suicide before capture.

He couldn’t feel his hand. He could already feel the blood dripping down towards his elbow. Hie tried to grab the knife when he saw the tall man turn around to face him but his hand wouldn’t move. He fought hard against his body but couldn’t. He had sliced his tendon in half. He let his knees buckle and his head hit the cabinet.

The tall man was on him in a second, shouting into his comms and holding his hand over 1’s wrists. He caught a decent amount of the conversation coming from the tall man before he passed out. He had evaded capture, Makarov would be proud.

——————

He came to for the first time in the medical helicopter. He woke up screaming and thrashing, he didn’t form any coherent words, or at least any that could be translated by someone around him. He was sedated again when he nearly flipped the backboard he was on over with him strapped to it.

He woke up slightly, eyes and motor function not working but he could hear. He was in some sort of building now, there was no helicopter blades screamingly loud in his already damaged eardrums. He heard the tall man from New Years speaking to some gruff man with a scouse accent.

“I hated the damn thing, got shit from the brass about regulation. Kind of missing the ugly thing now.” The gruff man said. He didn’t want to know what he was talking about, clearly regulations were broken and therefore he had to be punished. It’s not like he could avoid it, he was a prisoner to an unknown army.

“I kind of miss when he wasn’t a suicidal maniac who let me call him Johnny. Now that you mention it though he does look like an egg.” The man from New Years quipped back. Who were they talking about, who was Johnny, and how has he never seen him before. He’s gone against this group two times and has never seen a Mohawk, and that’s something he was sure he would if remembered. He listened for a few more minutes before he was to exhausted to listen any more. He fell back asleep for three more days.

——————

Five days in he woke up fully. A younger man in a baseball cap sat next to him, asleep and snoring lightly. He didn’t attempt to wake him up, that would get him a beating.

He found himself barefoot and not covered with a blanket, instead restrained and in just a hospital gown. The skin (could it be considered that if it’s just scar tissue?) was tight and sore. The air conditioning was in high and blowing right on him. He had no time to get back into his body before he was screaming, he could take most any kind of torture, but the cold room as he called it was the worst. Old wounds would become tight and sore, and he was almost always left unable to walk because whatever wet skin was on the floor would freeze to the concrete and rip his skin when he was stood.

This was the first time he had been tied down, maybe he wasn’t supposed to be injured. As he fought up against the restraints he felt a pop and then throbbing pain in his wrist.

He fought more and more, he could feel warmth spreading throughout his wrist. He couldn’t hear anything other than his own labored breathing and the sound of air whooshing. Distantly someone was screaming, not completely unusual, definitely not something that would freak him out.

He was writhing, trying to get out of there, he was in so much pain already, but it wouldn’t be much help as a strangely warm hand fell on his chest. He instinctively shouted some Gaelic and Russian mixed insults and thrashed even harder. The hand stayed for a second before hastily removing his restraint in his good arm. He went to grab 1’s hand and put it in his pulse point, but when he grabbed it he got punched in the head.

1 was now shouting desperately and trying to find his way out, the world was blurring and blackening at the edges. As his hand tried to grab something he hit a IV pole and knocked it over. That proceeded to rip out a NG tube they had stuffed in his nose to try to start reversing the malnutrition. He gagged at the sensation and threw up onto his lap as the nurses and security burst in. He was laid back down and restrained again. When he couldn’t vocalize that he was panicking because he was getting tortured in the cold room they sedated him, “for his own good”.

[rinainshadows]

𝕾𝖍𝖎𝖋𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝕿𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖙 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊

For the week of: Monday August 12th 2024

🕯 🗝⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊☾༘⋆⟡☼ 🃁 🕯

"𝔄 𝔰𝔲𝔡𝔡𝔢𝔫 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔤."

This card popped out while I was shuffling, so, I decided to include it and take it as a sign. It's also fitting, given the Tower's nature. The Tower is a sign of sudden and dramatic change- often something that shakes up the foundation of your life. This could be something like tearing down old structures, beliefs, or ways of being to promote growth and transformation. This could also be a revelation, of some sort, or you seeing something in a new light. This card could be taken in a negative way, but, it can also be a sign of liberation from false beliefs or old situations. I say take it as a positive sign.

It's a signal that a necessary change is coming or needed. Release what no longer serves and embrace the new: even if it may be uncomfortable. Regarding shifting, this may be encouraging you to let go of old, limiting beliefs and persist in the new program. It also could mean to expect the unexpected. The remaining cards should help shed light on this.

"𝔓𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔞 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔪𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔶 𝔟𝔢 𝔲𝔫𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢 𝔞𝔱 𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔰𝔱, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔶 𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔫 𝔲𝔭 𝔫𝔢𝔴 𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔲𝔢𝔰."

This was the first card I picked after finishing shuffling with the question "what should the collective know regarding shifting?" in mind. The Page of Cups signifies new emotional experiences, intuition, and creativity. After pulling the Tower, this could mean that there's an opportunity to connect with your intuition and explore new ways of thinking or being. You're encouraged to welcome the change with openness, curiosity and emotional stability. Throughout the process there's potential for profound growth and the discovery of new, more aligned paths in your shifting journey.

"𝔘𝔰𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴𝔩𝔢𝔡𝔤𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲'𝔳𝔢 𝔞𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔪𝔲𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔲𝔰 𝔣𝔞𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔞 𝔰𝔢𝔱 𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔢."

When asked "what should the collective do to grow?", the Hierophant card appeared. The Hierophant represents tradition, spiritual authority, and the pursuit of knowledge through established institutions and/or teaching from a higher source. With the fresh emotional insight from the Page of Cups and the change coming from The Tower, it seems that it's time to use your past teachings to find a more grounded approach moving forward. For your growth to be meaningful and sustainable, really establish and indoctrinate new beliefs.

These three cards together are really telling me that it's time to flush out those old, limiting beliefs once and for all. You know how to shift. Your past failures do not define you. It's about killing that old mindset once and for all, opening yourself up for growth, and to start disciplining yourself. Focus on your mental diet, perhaps. Formulate what it is you truly believe in and stick by it. Hierophant is all about routine.

"𝔅𝔶 𝔯𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔪𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫, 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔞 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔟𝔞𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔤𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔞𝔠𝔥 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔣𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤."

The Knight of Wands was the final card pulled, resembling "what can be let go of" in this week's spread. The Knight of Wands is a card full of energy, passion, and impulsiveness. This Knight is characterized by boldness, impulsiveness, and the eagerness to take action without considering the consequences. I believe this is telling you to let go of impulsive tendencies or actions (the need for instant gratification) which can sometimes lead to burnout.

With the Tower's upheaval and the urge to return to structure with the Hierophant, it's time to let go of impulsive decisions and/or wavering. The Knight of Wands isn't necessarily a bad thing- it's a very action driven card and holds a lot of positive, fiery energy. But there's caution about being overly zealous, especially moving forward after the shift suggested by the Tower card. Let go of the impulsive and restless energy following the dramatic changes of the Tower and emotional openness of the Page of Cups and instead embrace the stability and wisdom now offered by the Hierophant for a more balanced path to growth.

🕯 🗝⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊☾༘⋆⟡☼ 🃁 🕯

Disclaimer: Though the cards can offer wonderful insight and help give us answers we may have been seeking, you make your own destiny at the end of the day. Take what resonates and drop what doesn't. You ultimately decide when you shift. The 4D states you already have.

Happy shifting!

ℜ𝔦𝔫𝔞

[georgegraphys]

Warning : Unprofessional unverified talks as I am not Mercedes nor have 10 masters degrees. Fragile snowflakes that got their heart shattered by opinion differences are not welcomed. An opinionated talk.

I'm just gonna back track on what happens here. What started this all sudden China PR campaign of this douyin acc thing and my whole summary of thoughts. If you're new here and you haven't had the time to scroll through my PR talks regarding this whole 2024 George PR cooking class. Let me summarize you here (this lacks the recent targa florio updates, mercedes vision one eleven, etc. i haven't updated it further)

Again, I'd like to say. I am not a Mercedes Benz PR team member. I am not a professional. I am just someone who worked in a similar field who analyzes, plans, and strategizes PR agendas like this. Of course the very first time I posted about this whole theory it's just a goofy hypothetical tweet of "what IFs"

This was just minutes after George opened his douyin acc btw. Something just struck me like "Huh? Why bother opening an account for a race that lasts 2-3 days?". As someone who worked in PR myself, these things are not a good move. Like why the hell open a douyin account? If I were Mercedes, I'd open a tiktok account for George that could be used beyond China GP. That was my mindset back then until I watched the video again and I realized George saying things like his F1 journey throughout the season. And that's the part where it struck me.

Now why does it intrigue me? Douyin is a platform that is only available in China (or probably in Macau/HK/Taiwan too, idk sorry) and to sign up for Douyin you need a Chinese phone number or ID card verification. It makes me think that maybe Mercedes pulled some strings? To be able to get George in Douyin? But until then my thoughts are just goofy ahh what if lol. Then suddenly Douyin Sports starts posting about George on their account and George makes a specific video greeting for Douyin Sports. Now this kind of confirms my idea? Because douyin sports rarely post international athletes unless you are on the calibre of probably Marc Marquez or Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi, other than that they just posted about the chinese athletes. Afterwards, there was the Mercedes Benz official account commenting here and there and I just went "maybe this isn't a joke"

For now, it seems that the douyin account is also posting personal things about George like his post with Carmen, his family and friends and more. Well surprising considering I thought they're going to be full racing and business because at first i thought that douyin acc pr move was solely for the company because they were promoting lots of 63 series that George will probably lead the promotions later. I didn't expect them to actually build something that is also personal to George? Like his brand image? As they also involve posts about his beloved ones and not pure business. Also Mercedes even invited a LOCAL press to directly interview George one-on-one??? I'm surprised by that. But this is honestly good for George!

I know i've seemingly been all positive about this but just to let you know, I had doubts lol. Like I thought this wasn't gonna last this long. I thought it was just to keep the China GP hype for 2 weeks and it's all gone and dusted. But it didn't. Turns out they even have these 3 days posting patterns which not only intrigues me but also intrigues the chinese audience. It brought them to pay attention to George and question things like "oh he is still posting??" "who posts for him??" "he's using douyin actively??". I honestly expect lower than this and thought that the account would be another vessel to promote Mercedes cars to the chinese audience but wow... also building his individual brand images? I did not expect that.

I might have been able to guess the purpose of the douyin account making but I could never know what they were cooking. It baffles me. You might not understand but in that one single douyin account, there's a social media team or at least one person handling it and a PR planning over it. The posts were planned, it has posting patterns and it shows that it was scheduled, the subtitles, the songs (even though it's shitty), and the editing. The editing specifically appeals to the chinese audience. And I cannot wrap my mind on the reason why. These have lots of efforts poured into it and the supportive Mercedes Benz account? Unusual. Because they usually gave 0 fucks in other platforms. You need to acknowledge that this is

a) A whole ass PR planning with the approval of the company because it represents George and even also builds his individual brand value and image to the chinese audience/target market

b) No doubt Mercedes pulled some string to get his account to douyin and have the app promote his account

c) This stretched out longer than i would ever expect. My expectations weren't low but it's realistic. This thing is a bucket full of effort and planning inside for it to stretch until this long.

Now this part gets a bit sensitive. So again WARNING that this is highly SPECULATIVE and we're PREDICTING not saying that this is true. "But ari you're so jobless for all of this guessing. No one does this except the obsessed ones" This is what I and some people who worked in the PR sectors do. We look at a company's PR planning and make a guess out of it. Why? To counter their PR strategy of course. For the sake of competitions. And it's a REAL PAID JOB. But anyways

My guess is that maybe in the future George will be used as some sort of representative or ambassador for the chinese market? As for now, Mercedes Benz's objective and target market is the Chinese market. Their collaboration with Denza and BAIC, Beijing Benz subsidiary making China specialized vehicles, joint cooperation with chinese universities like Tsinghua and more.

Not to mention that this whole Mercedes in China field trip is not just any other field trip. It is state backed. Germany and China seem to be building this whole bestie relationship when it comes to automotive, technology, engineering, etc. Judging by how it's state backed and which means things won't get "nahhh okay byeeee" just anytime, that means this would then be a long term thing?

I'm just connecting two points here. A) Mercedes strong ambitions on the venture in China (Not every automotive manufacturer is aboard on this idea btw. Stellantis doesn't) B) George's sudden PR campaign in China. I look at those two and suddenly 🧐🧐, maybe it might be related??? I understand that Mercedes could use chinese ambassadors to promote Mercedes in China. Of course they're more popular and relevant in China than George since he isn't Chinese. But to promote China and Beijing Benz outside, they need a guy too yk? And that guy MAY be George Russell with all this PR cooking up behind him.

Again this is just a silly goofy guess based on EVIDENCES and PROOFS shown. As much as I love to waffle, I don't lie about these things unlike Toto. But also, don't trust me on it and take my words seriously?? Because I ain't Mercedes 😁😁 🤷‍♀️

Lastly, George's linguistic journey is basic at its finest. ciao, bonjour, JEL-AND-WAGEN, adios, hola, konnichiwa. For him to suddenly be SITTING DOWN reading a written script of his introduction in Chinese??? To be seriously sat and memorizing "da jia hao, wo shi qiao zhi la sai er-" means something 😭😭😭 don't tell me someone did not write that down for him and tell him to memorize that like an asian parent would sign their kid to a mandarin course.