#LMAO not the entire family in my inbox | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

enviedear · 7 months

Text

you're in the wind, i'm in the water ⟶ anakin skywalker

description ⌙ having to flee your home to be under the watch of the jedi knight anakin skywalker, you attempt to form some semblance of happiness, despite his cold demeanor. pairing ⌙ anakin x female princess!reader warnings ⌙ mentions of food and eating, but i think that's all. lmk if i missed anything. word count ⌙ 2.5k

canon means little to me lmao, so read as you wish, but i'm in my anakin renaissance so pls feel free to flood my inbox with any and all things him <3

— join my taglist | request | masterlist

he was strange. that was the word you decided upon. this jedi knight sent from coruscant to protect you.

he watched you, so intently, and you tried to chalk it up to the protection order— but no guard under you before had been so keen on your every breath. so you sat, silent in the study of the safehouse, watching the small fire begin to ember out from its setting and trying to ignore his blue eyes cast down at you.

anakin, that's what jedi obi-wan had referred to him as. when you first heard it, you told him it was pretty. his simple thank you reply seemed fitting at the time, but now, you're almost sure that you must have offended him.

the room settled into a stillness that felt almost oppressive as anakin's eyes bore into you. you left your thoughts of him to refocus on the burning wood, only to stare down at a now lifeless fire. it was as if the flames had mirrored your own sense of isolation, flickering out, leaving you in the dark.

reaching out for more firewood, your hand is abruptly halted in mid-air. you look up to find anakin standing right in front of you, his eyes darkened by the dim light. his voice was low and laced with a hint of frustration. "it's nighttime, princess."

he releases his hold over you, fueled by the force, and you let out a sigh. "i'm sorry. time just slipped my mind. you must be tired."

he responds with a curt huff, his emotions hidden beneath the veneer of his jedi training. you gather your belongings from the study and follow him in silence to your room. this had become a ritual ever since the protection order had been enforced.

for months you have been walking on what seemed to be a very thin glass when around this strange man.

back on your home planet, you were surrounded by loving handmaidens who attended to your every need, engaging in heartfelt conversations, and showering you with affection. but on this mostly deserted planet in the far reaches of the outer rim, anakin was your sole companion. he didn't dote on you, he rarely engaged in conversation, and there was an undeniable absence of warmth in his demeanor.

you missed home desperately—your land, your people, your family. you harbored a deep resentment for the enemies who had invaded and devastated your world. they had stolen everything from you, and in this unfamiliar place, you felt anything but safe.

as the two of you approached your door, you hung back, allowing anakin to check the surroundings before you entered. "it's safe," he announced, still avoiding eye contact. "princess."

you settle onto your bed, now surrounded by your books from the study. anakin's gaze fixed on your collection. you ventured, your voice barely above a whisper, "would you like to borrow some?"

his eyebrows knit together slightly, prompting you to continue. "some of my books? i've noticed you looking at them often."

finally, his eyes met yours. "i'm okay," he replies, and then turns to leave. just as his hand found the doorknob, he adds, "i'll come to fetch you in the morning."

you didn't respond, simply watching him exit and swiftly locking the door behind him. anakin was a puzzle you couldn't decipher. none of your parents' guards had ever acted this way. formality, you were accustom, but this level of rigid apprehension was an entirely new experience.

when you'd first arrived, you had tried to establish some sort of friendship. you were adept at navigating social interactions, having been by your parents' side for political matters since the age of fifteen. you had dealt with all kinds of people—brash, rude, insincere, and kind. but this jedi, anakin, he was unlike anyone you'd ever encountered.

he never strayed far from your side, except for when he slept, yet he managed to disappear into the shadows of any room. even outside, during the few hours he allowed you to venture out, you could feel his presence, his watchful eyes bearing down on you. it was as though you were a gilded prisoner, trapped with a hungry beast waiting for you to falter.

as you drifted into sleep, uneasy thoughts flooded your mind, pushing you into a restless slumber.

the next morning, anakin knocks at your door. he has a signature four knock, with the last being far louder than the others. you assume it's for safety but he's never let you in on the security protocol.

you've been awake for a few minutes and have already dressed, but you take your time before opening your door for him. it was the small things, small rebellions, that you enacted in a diminutive display of mutiny.

"princess." his greeting feels icy cold, despite the adherence to common decorum.

"jedi," you reply, your voice unexpectedly fiery. you had yet to openly express your displeasure with him, but the way his lips twitch for a fraction of a second made you want to challenge him further.

you'd endure anything if it meant he'd stop being so inscrutable.

anakin motions for you to lead the way, and you do, heading toward the small dining room. the table is set with two bowls of porridge placed on opposite sides. it was the same every morning. initially, you had attempted to convince him to let you prepare the food, but he'd stubbornly resisted. perhaps he thought this was the way you were used to, or maybe it was a method of control in his mind. whatever it be, his enforcement of such behavior had grown tiresome.

you found your seat and tried to ignore the weight of his gaze as you ate. the food was plain, but you wouldn't dare complain. perhaps out of fear, maybe a lingering threat that he might lash out, although he never had. but you could feel it—your fear.

anakin was an enigma, unlike any jedi or man you had ever met. despite being only a year apart in age—you, freshly twenty, and he, a young man of twenty-one—he seemed worlds apart from anyone you'd encountered before.

you were nearly finished with your meal when he interrupted your thoughts. "we're running low on food and supplies. you'll accompany me to the market today."

his voice was soft, in stark contrast to his nature. "the market?" your question feels foolish as it escapes your lips, but you don't care. you have no knowledge of any nearby market, and the prospect of venturing out into a new environment excited you.

"have you never heard of it?" he asks, his eyes narrowing.

breaking eye contact, you reply, "i have. i was simply unaware there was one here. how far is the walk?"

he inhaled deeply before responding, "about an hour. wear comfortable footwear."

nodding, you decide not to push the conversation further, though curiosity gnawed at you. the prospect of escaping the confines of the safehouse, even for a short while, held a certain allure, and perhaps it was an opportunity to uncover more about your mysterious protector.

anakin leads the way to the bustling market, with a palpable silence the entire walk. the vibrant activity at the market is a stark contrast to the quiet routine of the safehouse. alien vendors peddle their wares, hawking exotic spices and colorful fabrics, and you can't help but feel a rush of excitement as you take in the vibrant scene.

as you navigate through the crowded market, anakin's eyes remain vigilant, scanning the surroundings for any potential threats. it's clear that he takes his role as your protector seriously. you, however, are drawn to the colorful array of stalls and the alien dialects that fill the air. the market feels alive, and for a brief moment, you forget about the weight of your circumstances.

approaching a stall adorned with an assortment of intricate jewelry, you spot a vendor, an older twi'lek woman, tending to her display. her vibrant head-tails sway gracefully as she arranges her wares.

without hesitation, you engage her in conversation, switching to her native language. "kassurra," you say, your voice laced with warmth.

the twi'lek woman looks up, her eyes widening in surprise as she meets your gaze. "kassurra, may ril help vashna," she responds, a smile tugging at her lips.

anakin, standing a few paces away, seems taken aback by your sudden change in demeanor and language. his eyes dart between you and the vendor, a mixture of confusion and curiosity in his expression.

you and the vendor continue to converse, discussing the intricacies of her jewelry and the stories behind each piece. anakin remains on alert, his protective instincts never wavering, but there's a shift in the way he watches you. for the first time, you think he may see a different side of the princess he's been tasked with safeguarding, one that isn't confined by the walls of the safehouse.

anakin watches you, silently observing this unexpected connection that has sparked between you and a stranger in a distant corner of the galaxy.

as your conversation ends, the woman offers you a small pendant with a colorful gemstone, its significance tied to a story of resilience. you're touched by her gesture and purchase the pendant, a tangible reminder of this unexpected encounter.

as you and anakin bid farewell to her and make your way through the market once more, the atmosphere feels different. the air is charged with a newfound sense of connection, and anakin's once rigid demeanor seems to have softened, if only slightly.

you continue to explore the market, and encounter a group of children playing a lively game in a nearby alley. their laughter infectious, and you couldn't resist joining in. anakin watched as you played a simple game of catch with them, your laughter echoing through the alleyways. it was a rare moment, being able to let your guard down and enjoy a moment of pure joy.

as the sun began to dip below the horizon, signaling the approaching end of your visit to the market, you and anakin head back to the safehouse. the journey back was less tense than the trip there, but there was a subtle change in the air. anakin's demeanor, though still guarded, had softened ever so slightly.

back at the safehouse, you settled in the dining room, some fruits you had purchased now adorning the table. anakin, still wearing his jedi stoicism, finally speaks, his voice tinged with a hint of curiosity.

"you seemed… different at the market," he says, his eyes fixed on you.

you glance at him, a faint smile playing on your lips. "it's easy to forget the weight of my title when i'm surrounded by such vibrant life. i felt like a person, not just a princess."

anakin nods slowly, as if processing your words. "you should be cautious, though. we can't afford to let our guard down."

you understand his concern, but the brief respite had given you a glimpse of the world outside the safehouse, and you yearned for more. "i know, anakin. but there's more to life than just surviving. sometimes, we have to remember what we're fighting for, and whom."

anakin's gaze holds your own for a moment, and then he nods, a hint of understanding in his eyes. it was a small, almost imperceptible step, but it was a step toward bridging the gap.

the days that followed your visit to the market saw a small transformation in your interactions with anakin. the connection that had sparked between you and the vendor, and the brief moment of joy shared with the children, had left an indelible mark on you. you couldn't help but yearn for more moments like those, moments that reminded you of the vibrant world beyond the safehouse's walls.

anakin, too, seemed affected by the outing. while he remained vigilant in his duty to protect you, there was a new delicacy in his gaze, a flicker of warmth that occasionally surfaced. it was as though the walls he had built around himself were starting to crumble, revealing a person beneath the jedi facade.

one evening, as you both sit in the study, he suprises you by reaching for one of the books on the shelf, a collection of poems from your homeworld. he flips through its pages, his fingers tracing the elegant script.

"these are from your planet, aren't they?" he asks, voice gentle.

you nod, a smile tugging at your lips. "yes, they're poems from my people. would you like me to read one for you?"

anakin hesitates for a moment before nodding. "i'd like that."

as you begin to read one of the poems, the words flow from your lips with ease, carrying the essence of something you miss so dearly. anakin listens intently, his eyes fixed on you, and when you finish, he speaks softly, "it's beautiful, the way your people express themselves."

"thank you anakin, i... miss them very much." and encouraged by his interest, you continue to share more.

he listens, and for that you thank him silently. being able to share a part of you feels freeing, and you wonder at how easily the dynamic had shifted.

but after hours of reading, sharing stories, and talking, openly for once, you can't help but to yawn. anakin notices, "you're tired, we should head to bed, princess."

you want to oppose but the sleep settling into you prohibits the response, "i guess so, but i enjoyed this. i," you try to search for the right words, "i like being able to talk to you like this. i was scared you had grown a resentment for me."

he gives you a curious look, so you continue, "i thought that you may not like me, or rather, this arrangement."

he sighs, "no, it's not that. i just, was scared to say or do the wrong thing. i'm not often left alone with beautiful princesses."

your heart skips a beat at his words. anakin's admission catches you off guard, and you can't help but feel a rush of warmth spreading through you.

with a shy smile, you respond, "i appreciate your honesty, anakin. and for the record, you've never said anything that made me resent this arrangement. in fact, i find our conversations… quite refreshing."

anakin's blue eyes meet yours, and you see a softness in them that you hadn't witnessed before. as though the walls that had separated you were crumbling further.

as you both walk to your rooms to retire for the night, there's a newfound sense of closeness between you. he escorts and checks your room, as he always does, but this time, there's a different energy in the air. his protectiveness is still there, but it's accompanied by a tenderness that wasn't evident before.

entering your room, you face him. "thank you, anakin, for today. for everything."

he nods, a small smile gracing his lips. "you're welcome, princess. sleep well."

"you as well." and you do truly mean it.

as you lay in bed, you can't help but reflect on how much has changed between you and the knight. what started as so tense, transformed into something more genuine.

as sleep gradually overtakes you, you can't help but wonder where this journey will lead. the future is uncertain and frightening, but one thing is clear— you're no longer alone in the safehouse, no longer silently watched. you have something sweet to hold onto, and that, for now, is more than enough.

#anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin x y/n #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x female reader #anakin fluff #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin but he's happy lmao

370 notes · View notes

moonpetrichors-blog · 1 year

Note

Lo’ak x Fem (or gn) Metkayina!Reader who surfs!! The sully’s basically see reader surfing a really big wave and he’s just so intrigued and impressed!!

Just a lot of fluff and pining, rlly cute :)

Queen Of The Waves

Tags: Lo’ak x Metkayina!Reader, Headcanons, Fem!Reader, Surfing, Fluff, Pining

Warnings: None

Lo’ak was thoroughly intrigued when he spotted you gliding across the large waves of the sea, confused about how you did that on... a board? The Metkayina called you the queen of the waves for a reason, after all.

THIS IS ADORABLE BUT SIDENOTE I THOUGHT THIS WAS A BOT IN MY INBOX FOR A SEC HELP 😭😭 nah but when I saw this request I was listening to summer sunshine and then the thought hit me... IMAGINE A METKAYINA READER WITH MERLIAH’S HAIR STREAKS?? Also, think of Lo’ak’s inner monologue as amore mio aiutami. It sounds exactly like what he was thinking lmao

* ˚ ✦ Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [08/01/23] ❞

Lo'ak stared in awe at your figure in the ocean.

He had never seen anything like what you were doing right now!

There was a massive wave in the midst of the waters, and you were standing on some weird board Lo’ak had never seen before.

He couldn’t wrap his head around how you were gliding across the wave on this board, performing bottom turns and snapping against the wave.

How were you doing that??

But that wasn’t the only thing he noticed about you.

Aside from how impressive it was that you somehow managed to stay upright while riding this fairly massive wave, Lo’ak’s eyes raked over you affectionately.

The way your bangles glinted against the sunlight, or how the remnants of water droplets on your blue skin left behind a pretty sheen.

Maybe he was just looking at you through rose tinted glasses, but to him, you were practically sparkling in the water.

What also caught his eye were the pretty blue streaks in your hair; he hadn’t noticed them before, but they were far more apparent when you hit the water.

He secretly wished he could card his fingers through those blue streaks.

Jake noticed his son staring at you intently, and punched his shoulder lightly. He had never seen his son so whipped for someone before!

You did a cutback, and before Lo’ak could shift his lingering gaze away from you, he caught your eye.

Before surfing away from the wave, you beamed at him, dimples on full display just for him.

He felt his heart stop the moment he saw you do so, and the wink you sent in his direction made him go into cardiac arrest.

You chuckled at his reaction, and soon disappeared behind the wave.

Kiri and Neteyam gagged besides him as they witnessed the entire ordeal, then started laughing to each other about how their brother was behaving.

He turned around to argue with them about what was so funny, but stopped when you emerged from the water and made your way to him, board under your arm.

You brushed your stray tresses aside, and asked him what he thought of your surfing.

Surfing? Is that what that was?

Of course he stuttered trying to say it was cool, but you merely giggled at his flushed demeanor.

You held out your hand for him, asking if he wanted to try.

Now Jake joined his children in snickering at Lo’ak’s bashful countenance.

Lo’ak shot a glare at his family, then accepted your hand.

He was definitely gonna rock this surfing shit.

...

Spoiler alert: he didn’t.

He didn’t mind, though. His failed attempts at surfing on a wave only served to make you smile, so he didn’t care.

As long as it was because of him you were happy.

446 notes · View notes

reilliane · 3 months

Text

This is my personal obligatory post and apology for my poofing disappearance- if you're not up to read things like these, then feel free to scroll past! Have a good day/night!

—

the poofing, the poofed, and the un-poofing.

TLDR; Bad stuff happened for the entire past year, stopped college just a few months ago to learn the materials myself and market myself in the graphic design industry soon, and got a whole dose of religious epiphany that threw my life around. Wrote in a different account a few months ago to ease and destress without much expectation. Will continue to write albeit there won’t be many updates, had/have to drop original writing plans [right now focusing on a short story for Wanderer, though it doesn’t mean I won’t be able to write for others when I get the time]. May unfortunately discontinue ongoing AUs but will provide a summary for them [I think it’s only Tyranny-?] Will also open writing/art commissions soon, maybe set up a kofi account, but I won’t be ‘gatekeeping’ any content I plan to post. I’m thinking, if ever, it’d only be standalone specials or maybe nsfw [gosh I’m really saying that?] in kofi, buuut that’s just a maybe. Everything else is free to read of course <3

A really detailed and long [I MEAN IT, MAYBE 1.3-.5K?? WC] exposition under the cut, but of course, it’s optional to read!

PS. I opened my drafts and had one or two finished works there, I will publish those soon. Get ready. Because they’re angst AHAAAAAAAAAA-

PPS. I won’t be able to respond to everyone’s sweet shucking messages in my inbox forgive me But know that I’M REALLY SO TOUCHED YALL I really didn’t think anyone would look for me that much 😭 Someone said I vanished like the avatar and it’s sending me crumpling to the floor.

ALRIGHT STORYTIME LET’S GO—first of all, I haven’t been on Tumblr for so long, nor have I interacted with anyone and coming back,, the web interface bamboozled me.

Anyway- the past year was roooough, like settling in and getting into college.

From the start, my brother and I have known of our depleting resources but couldn’t stop because of our mother’s insistence and my father’s very.. volatile attitude. Double the latter since he has cancer and has been nothing short of cranky and infuriated for the past years—knowing that the money is facing a downward slope because of his expensive medicines and learning that we’ll stop because of it would’ve,, been terribly bad and that's understating the nature of my headstrong, independent, and prideful father.

There were times when he was very somber about his state, but then mad—it was just a really bad time, but my brother and I finally convinced our mom that we had to stop for real a few months ago because money was just tight. Until now we’re hiding the fact from our dad that we stopped under the pretense that we’re only taking one course for the semester :v

We were very lost and torn.

I knew I had to go out and look for a job, but my brother would be doing the same, too—the thing was that we knew our mom couldn’t handle our dad being sick alone, so my brother opted to be the one to find work outside.

I’m learning materials and courses on my own at home, but finding a remote job without a degree is no doubt near unimaginable with how remote setups are almost nonexistent now. The time was just bleak at home, too, my father would ask for bad things to eat that would worsen his health and then blame it all on my mother when he felt body pains and repercussions—it was just BAD, that wasn't all of it, but I digress. Cancer sucks.

Just a few days ago, I lost my uncle to the same thing, and now there’s an overall family dispute over who gets what and it feels like I’m living a kdrama fever dream [pls get me out hfasjdkfhdsaf]. I don’t recommend it if it’s not romance lmao.

Things were getting so out of hand and I also couldn’t get back into writing or socializing with everyone in my writing socials—but I still wanted to write without the expectation of being able to deliver as I used to. It was a de-stresser for me, so I opened a new account in ao3/quotev and wrote in.. November or December, I think. It was nice, I got to just type away and post and leave it at that.

I think one of the reasons why I didn’t go to Tumblr for that was because I knew I wouldn’t be able to commit to updates, and I love you guys, I didn’t want to say something and promise it’d be given but then nothing. I’ve done it back then and I just, don’t want to do that :(

Despite how heavy and dark the past year was, however, something really unexpected happened—okay here it goes.

As a child, I’ve been taught about Christian doctrine and was brought up to believe in the existence of a God. I didn’t have my heart in it though, of course not, how was I to believe something that I only knew because someone said it to me?? I did attend church out of duty and had a shallow fear of the greater being, but as an authentic believing person? Naw.

Not until June at least.

I don’t know how to explain it rather I, out of the want to give my mother the chance to go somewhere she wanted to for Sunday, decided to join her for church. I was ready to just daze off and think about some solution to our problems, but then the sermon spoke to me—you know, that feeling when someone is passive-aggressively referring to you in a complaint or something?

It felt like that, only it felt like that message was something I was meant to hear, and boy I couldn’t believe it—neither did my mother [lol]. She told me how shocked she was when I listened throughout the what, an hour and a half of preaching that I usually just dismiss.

It’s cliche, but my life really changed after that one simple Sunday.

All my tweeeeenty years of living, I’ve asked if God really is real and whatnot and I never got answered until July of 2023. What really cemented my belief in knowing that he is real, is when I decided to genuinely pray—then for seven consecutive days, the Bible would lead me to a page [like just randomly opening a part of the book after prayer] that answered my questions and/or convicted me of something. I'd wake up every day and an event would happen that would answer my confusion and I'd sit in the night thinking 'no way that just happened', but it did. Boy, when I tell you I thought I was going crazy.

Not to mention opportunities such as baptism and ministry suddenly popped my way when I only had the idea in my head and I kept it to myself. At first, I thought it was just a coincidence, but when it ‘popped up’ more than thrice in a single week, I knew it wasn’t. Think of it as like, the thing in fanfiction when it seemed like the universe was saying something to you. Yeah, I felt that for myself. Mindblowing.

I could go on and on about the other life-changing things that occurred, but this would be so long LOL.

But I never regret coming to faith and accepting Jesus for real that day, and although life is still dark for me these days, the burden feels light. It’s an amazing feeling. He's really changed everything.

I’m not going to force anyone these beliefs—I knew how it felt to be on the receiving end and it could get very annoying, rather I just spoke on it to say how wonderful it was to know him, and it would be nice to let others know about my side in case they'd also take the faith. Who knows?

Also, I think I understand what those people were saying now. Again, I won’t force anyone—just reminding and asking you to try if you want, because it’s amazing. Bombard me in my inbox if you’re interested, but no pushing here, because I’m a firm believer that things shouldn’t be forced if it’s not the right time yet.

Anyway, that was my source of strength and hope to go through these days—and I believe it’s also the driving force that led me to write this out in.. in Tumblr of all places lol. If someone told me this would happen two years ago I'd laugh in their face 💀

Rather than just getting back into writing and opening my social circle again, there’s that bit in me that wants to say that religious epiphany. That said, I know how diverse everyone is in their beliefs so I’ll say it very tersely that, no, I will not be parading and pushing people to believe this and that—this space is, after all, my space for writing :)

Ah, and nor will I ramble about it like shuck lol, but I will, in private, when prompted.

With that out of the way, back into writing—I was floored when I first opened Tumblr and saw all the notifications and messages about my disappearance and I could’ve cried, really. It touches me poor heart :sob: and I wanted to thank all of you for such caring messages—I wouldn’t be able to reply to all of them [there were many!

Like maybe more than fifteen or twenty, not even counting the direct messages] but know that I’m very- very grateful for every one of you.

I could crawl out of your screen and hug yall but I won’t because I can’t and it’d throw people off KJHFSADKJFHALJSKDFHA

Life is, again, still hard—and navigating it is still difficult, but I’m managing these days. I can no longer return to my usual days of sporadic updates and teasers lol, but I’m happy to say I will still be writing, though it won’t be my entire focus nowadays. When I open writing commissions for genshin and art commissions, it’d get me going, of course.

I have to let go of most of my beloved works because I realized that sticking to them would take up most of my time when I need to be out there upskilling and taking initiative to start earning money to support the bills. I still wanted to write though, and in my downtime I even got to watching One Piece and writing a currently on-hold fanfiction for that in Ao3, but fuuully realized that, no, I’m no longer cut out for really long written stuff unless I commit to writing a long piece that would take weeks for it to be published.

In the end I settled for a single character [wanderer bb] short story that I get into writing without much hassle, and make myself happy, still :) I have ideas for other characters, too, but getting them out to be posted would take longer than usual.

My other AUs, as well, since my focus is just.. God, life, expenses, work, then hobbies. I don’t guarantee finishing them [I think Tyranny? And others, like Smite/Mercy/etc.], but I have in mind to write a summary because I meant it back then when I said the plot was really finished. Sighgisghsighs

Opening art commissions, I’d do that soon—writing, too.

Maybe a kofi account, as well—but I won’t be having any posts I want to be posted to be locked behind some tip or pay. I’m thinking of only adding specials there, specials like, standalone oneshots from an AU, or an nsfw piece. Oh golly, writing that is so beyond me, I think that’s the only reason why if anything is going to be in kofi, it’d probably be the nsfw. I plan to keep this writing blog sfw, still.

But we’ll,,, we’ll see [dying]

So yeah! That’s.. Everything. For the writing thing, I think I’ll technically just be .. here, lol, with a focus on that story with wanderer. Gone are the 7k worded oneshots, now we’re just around 1.5k unless I commit to the creation. The story is so fluffy too [not angst? Surprising]

But again, I will write for others eventually—can’t say when, or how, or who, but I will in time.

I have so many plans in my head about my life, and I’m glad to say going back to Tumblr is a check off the list. I have an original novel in mind, but would you all be interested in such a thing? I don’t honestly know—other than opening commissions, I also plan on a Youtube Channel, but that’s uncertain. A Webtoon for my original plot too is a maybe, buuuut those are just what-ifs. Time will tell!

Those are just my two cents and I don’t regret sharing that—you guys have been with me for so long, even if I don’t really know you all beyond that screen, you all really became a part of my life, too :”))

If you reached the end of this post, wow, I’m touched. I hope you all have a good day–oh wait, what do I say? Ah yes.

I wish you all a good mornight [fhkadjsfhiajhgf].

God bless yall sweet people.

#moonlitrambles #queued #i actually navigated my tags and was gobsmacked.#i thought of a new and more organized blog but i aint got the time for that pls bear with me fhdajskfhas #plus i am so unwilling to leave this behind- i kennat

42 notes · View notes

messrmoonyy · 1 year

Note

I just read your nsfw Headcannons for Tess and all I have to say is. Give. Me. The. Alley. Thing. Now. And no one gets hurt

The art of jealousy

Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader

A/N- this request has been sat in my inbox since I first posted those Headcannons. Which was. A long time ago. I’m sorry. So here it is finally. Also the Headcannons being referred too are right here for anyone that wants to read them. Tess POV cause I really am loving giving a look into her head. I only proofread this once cause Tuesdays are becoming ever so slightly stressful for me so I just wasn’t vibing. So. Anyways. Enjoy.

Warnings- Tess lmao. Possessiveness, jealousy, she’s a lil rough at times but reader likes that, smut: fingering ( reader receiving), sex in a public place, choking, degradation

Word count- 3.8K

Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3

If Tess was one thing, it was being possessive of shit that was hers. Maybe that was just a side affect- as it were- of the post outbreak world. No one had much that they could truly call theirs anymore. Tess had actually always found it quite interesting how attached people could be to their things. She’d never been the material type. Even pre outbreak she’d never been one for expensive jewellery, flashy cars or designer clothes. And she’d never really understood people’s obsession with it.

Material items took on new forms now. People these days valued things like boots. Or ration cards. Family photos they’d managed to hold onto for all this time. At least they were more practical now she guessed. But still, she wasn’t really one to be overly attached to things.

People too fell under that bracket. She straight up refused to let herself get attached to anyone once the outbreak hit. After losing her entire family within the first week of the outbreak she’d vowed to never let herself get close to anyone again.

And then you’d come along.

She hadn’t meant to fall in love with you. Fuck she’d actually ignored you for several months when she realised she might actually be feeling something for you. But you were persistent. And beautiful. And it was unbelievably irritating but you had a knack at kicking down the walls she’d built up over the years. Brick. By brick. And she had learnt that maybe she did have a possessive streak in her after all.

Because there was truly nothing she despised more than watching someone else flirting with you. And it happened a lot which wasn’t at all surprising. The majority of people she surrounded herself with knew not to mess around when it came to you. They knew that you were off limits. But occasionally someone new would poll their way into the underground scene of Boston, some attempt to establish themselves on the black market, and thoroughly piss her off.

Jealousy crept up on her more frequently than not, she couldn’t help it. She just didn’t like it. Seeing you around someone else.

She knew you weren’t about to run off with some random fuck who thought he could win you round with some ration cards. She had you wrapped tightly around her little finger, just as you had her. But still. It pissed her off.

“ are you hoping if you stare at the back of his head long enough he’ll just drop down dead? “ Joel’s southern drawl hit her ears and she flashed him an irritated look, before looking back over at you. You’d been striking up a deal with someone for over 10 minutes, some new fucker clearly bartering you down for the cost of some pills. But he was being too… touchy.

You were no stranger to flirting your way through deals and Tess had always been surprised at just how much you could raise the prices in trades just by simply… existing. Being a woman in the current climate had never been particularly great. And learning to use what you had to for your own advantages was vital.

‘ men think they’re getting something and they’ll be putty in your hands ‘ that’s what you had said once. And she wasn’t exactly against it, hell she was guilty of doing it herself. But it didn’t change how infuriating it was.

“ you know she won’t do shit. You got that girl eating out of the god damn palm of your hand “ Joel said with a laugh, chewing at a chunk of his rationed beef jerky and eyeing the hand of cards he was holding. Though Tess had long since lost interest in the game they were playing “ ask her to beg at your fuckin feet and she’d do it. Then again, you’d probably do it for her too “ A small smirk pulled at her lips with that. She knew it was true, of course. She trusted you whole heartedly, knowing you had zero interest in anyone else. Especially men. And no one on the entire planet could turn her head.

You were just as infatuated with her as she was with you. It was a mutual obsession that was no where close to burning out.

“ I know “

“ then drop the miserable look on your damn face and play your turn “ she rolled her eyes and took her eyes off of you for a few moments, looking back down at the cards in front of her. She played a card without even really looking at it, her eyes soon trailing back over to you again “ you are making this too damn easy for me “

She didn’t grant him with a response, eyes narrowing as she watched you exchange a half bag of pills for a wad of cards. Clearly more than you’d usually have sold them for, but her small proud smile didn’t last long.

The man stepped closer to you, head bowed as he said something in your ear. You gave a clearly over exaggerated laugh, arm on his shoulder. And she was certain she saw your eyes flick in her direction.

She huffed a laugh, sitting back in her chair and shaking her head in mild disbelief

“ the little shit “ Joel’s eyes drifted over to you too, his brow furrowed as they both watched you flirt with the man.

“ Jesus Christ “ Joel muttered, clearly thinking the same thing Tess was. You were doing it on purpose. Pushing her buttons “ don’t rise to it. It’s what she wants “

“ I know what she fuckin wants “ she narrowed her eyes, watching you across the courtyard as she attempted to continue the game with Joel.

“ hey Tess. How you doin? I was wondering if you had an- “ the sound of one of her customers filled her ears as she kept her eyes trained on you.

“ not now “ she said with a wave of her hand, not even looking up to see who was stood there

“ but- “

“ not. Now “

“ okay okay. That’s cool. Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow? Cool cool “ Joel sighed as the man shuffled off sheepishly

“ you’re forfeiting sales now? Will you just go talk to her “ she was tapping her fingers against the table impatiently now. Jealousy and anger swimming in her veins in a dangerous cocktail.

You were always the same. A fucking brat. Pissing her off to get your own way. And she knew exactly what you were trying to get out of her. Piss her off, wind her up, drive her insane so that the second you both got home she’d pin you down against the closest surface and remind you exactly who was in charge for as long as it took for the message to sink in.

But she was in no mood to wait until you got home. If you needed a little reminder of just who wore the trousers in your relationship, she’d remind you. And she’d remind you sooner rather than later.

One more gentle touch of your hand to the man’s chest followed by a glance in her direction was the last nail in the coffin. And she was tossing her cards down on the table.

“ Tess- “ she was up and out of her metal chair before he could finish his sentence, crossing the courtyard in purposeful strides, someone hopping out of her path as she went.

“ are you fuckin done? “ she asked in a low voice as she reached you, throwing a glare towards the man seemed confused at her sudden appearance

“ oh hi Tess “ you said innocently “ everything okay? “ the man took a step back, eyes widening as he looked between the two of you

“ you’re?- I didn’t know- “ she quite enjoyed watching people crumble under the weight of her reputation. Especially men.

“ if you have any idea what’s good for you, you’ll take your pills. And fuck off” she turned to you then “ and you. Come with me “ she walked off before waiting for a response from either of you, making a beeline for the back alley leading out of the courtyard. No one would bother her down there, the only entrance that lead from that way was the one from anyone coming from outside the wall. Which wasn’t very often.

She didn’t have to look behind her to know you’d be following. Even when you were in the mood to piss her off you were still desperate to please.

So she waited a few moments and then you appeared, strolling into the alley like you didn’t have a single care in the world. And she was reaching the limits of her patience.

She grabbed you by the wrist and pushed you back against the wall, hiding effectively behind a stack of wooden crates.

“ you okay Tess? You seem a little tense today “ god you were infuriating. She laughed and shook her head, trapping you against the wall with a hand resting beside your head.

“ the fuck was that back there? Huh? “ confusion twisted into your features, but the smirk tugging at your lips gave it away that you weren’t even remotely confused by her question. You knew exactly what you’d done “ you think it’s funny? “

“ I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“ oh you don’t? “

“ I was just making a trade. You’re a little scary you know, the new ones always prefer to come to me. You should smile a little more “ you reached up and poked at her face lightly “ I think you scared my customer away “

“ good. He needs to keep his fuckin hands to himself “

“ shame. He was quite nice “ the little monster that lived in her chest was trying to claw its way out, a pointless feeling of jealousy threatening to overwhelm her. It truly was pointless. She knew you were toying with her. You were playing her like a violin, messing with her to get what you wanted.

“ wanna go back out to him? Be my fuckin guest “ she knew you wouldn’t. Knew she had you exactly where you wanted to be. Though a small part of her did wonder if you would. Just to piss her off a little more.

“ you should know by now I’m not into the nice type “ she exhaled shortly through her nose and gave a small nod. She knew. Tess was not one for softness and romance. Yeah, from time to time it would slip out. But that’s not what you wanted from her. It’s why you worked together so well.

Her fingers brushed over the exposed skin of your neck, almost annoyed at the lack of purple and red marks she found. Maybe that was why the fucker back there had been so willing and accepting to your loaded advances. How could she have been so careless. To let her possessive marks vanish. Her clear silent brand that you were spoken for.

“ you don’t think I’m nice? “

“ there’s different meanings to different people “ she couldn’t help herself and dropped her head down to your neck, the blank expanse of your skin frustrating her. You tilted your head to give her access to more of you, attacking the blank canvas of flesh with her teeth “ see. Nice girls don’t behave like this. You taught me that “ she laughed against your skin, biting a little harder than she really needed to. Just to hear the delicious sound it would draw from you.

She knew she wasn’t nice. Not in the conventional sense. But you didn’t want nice. You didn’t want a cosy and warm relationship, soft forehead kisses and vanilla sex, cruising along in life and abiding by the rules.

You wanted her. You wanted the way she was rough, she was all teeth and bruises and hair pulls. She threw you around and left you wrecked for anyone else but her. And she knew that was how you were. She knew that was what you wanted. What you needed. Needing some kind of reminder that you were real, that the fucked up mess of the world around you wasnt a nightmare. You needed her to bring you back to life. And she was more than happy to oblige.

“ so what? You gonna take me home? “ she didn’t quite know when exactly she had decided she wasn’t going to take you home. The idea had arisen quite suddenly and she’d decided to act on it just as fast, quite certain she didn’t actually have it in her to take you all the way home. Not when she was so wound up.

That paired with the smugness still interlacing between the syllables of your words… she had a point to prove.

“ no “ you gave her a confused look and now it was her turn to smirk “ you act like that and think you get to choose if we go home or not? Gotta be fuckin kiddin me baby “ she leant in close to your face, her hand moving up and applying pressure to your throat. She felt your breath stutter, your fingers wrapping around her wrist. Not so cocky anymore.

“ Tess someone might- “

“ what? You were okay with behaving like some common fuckin whore out there in front of everyone, but not here for me? Breaking my fuckin heart “ she liked the way you seemed to lose all of your cockiness in an instant. She practically watched it drain from your features.

“ I wasn’t doing shit I was working “ Tess quirked a brow and smiled, fingers moving to unbutton your jeans. The second her fingers slipped into your underwear and she felt how wet you were, her smile grew. She wondered if you knew how much she truly loved how easy it was to make you wet. How much it turned her on just to have you so willingly at her mercy, how much you so clearly wanted to be used by her even if you attempted to deny it.

“ I’m not stupid. I know what you were doing. You think I didn’t know this is what you wanted? “ a soft moan slipped past your lips as she dragged your arousal up and slowly circled your clit “ you wet for me or that fucker back there? Huh? “

“ what do you fuckin think? “ Tess raised her eyebrows and shook her head, not the biggest fan of your tone of voice. Your breath hitched as she set herself into a steady rhythm, losing your cool and cocky demeanour as she worked you into a mess. It never took her long. She could read you like a book and knew how and where to touch you to have you melting in minutes.

“ the attitude on you sweetheart “ she increased the speed of her fingers, applied more pressure to your neck. She watched the way your eyes fluttered closed, loving the way the light headed bliss washed over you “ that’s it baby, can’t talk back now can you “

Your eyes fell onto hers as she slipped two fingers into you, not bothering to ease you into it with one. You were wet enough for it, she knew.

“ fuck- “

“ you think you’re so powerful don’t you? Thinking you can fuck around like that? Look at you now “ she kept her voice low, in that tone that she knew you loved. That made your velvety walls flutter against the fingers she was thrusting in and out of you roughly “ do you think they all know back there? That you’re back here with me getting fucked like a little slut? Do you? “

You whimpered out an answer your nails digging painfully into the skin of her wrist

“ I’m sorry “ your whimpers and whines were cute but she found it mildly funny that you thought they would make her go easy on you. She was only getting started.

“ not good enough “ her thumb applied pressure to your clit and you moaned loudly at the feeling “ acting like you’re so big. So bad. But who’s the one getting fucked in an alley? What do you think they’d say if they saw you now? Saw you a pathetic mess having your cunt stretched out by my fingers? Hmm? “

“ I- I said I’m sorry. I’m- fuck “

“ you should be. I look after you, I take care of you. And yet you behave like that? Such a spoiled little brat. You want more? I bet you want more don’t you “ your moans were increasing in pitch and she was a little cautious of being caught, but she was far too preoccupied by you to care completely. By the own arousal pooling in her belly, she didn’t need to be touched to get off. Watching you fall apart at her hands was enough

“ yes. Yes. More “ you begged. She loved hearing you beg.

“ greedy girl “ she glanced down at her hand that was hidden in your jeans and smiled, adjusting the slightly awkward angle and carefully adding a third finger to the mix. You winced at the new stretch and she gave you a moment before continuing her movements.

“ fuck Tess “ the sounds falling from your mouth mixed with the sopping sound of your cunt stretching around her fingers was almost too distracting, fighting the urge to stop and take you home so she could fuck you properly.

You were getting louder, even when she stifled your sounds for a moment with a more firm grip on your throat. When she could feel your pulse hammering beneath her finger tips.

“ nice and quiet. Or do you want them all to hear you? Is that what you want? “ it’s what she wanted. Deep down. A part of her desperately wanted people to hear, to remind everyone and anyone that thought they had a chance with you to back off. But a louder part of her was yelling at her, that she didn’t want anyone finding you both there. So you’d have to quiet down “ quiet “ she warned.

She sighed in mild annoyance when you didn’t listen.

“ sorry I- I can’t- “ so she clamped her hand down over your mouth and shook her head in disappointment. Though internally she was unbelievably fucking smug, very much getting off on the fact that you couldn’t control yourself. Because of her. You were a whimpering, shuddering wreck because of her.

She wondered if she should have planned this a little more thoroughly before executing it. If she could’ve roped Joel into dragging the man you had been flirting with down that alley too. Forced him to watch. Get a couple of hits in to really cement the fact. That you were hers. No one else’s. You weren’t to be touched. Or looked at. Or even thought about but anyone but her.

In an ideal world where she didn’t act on impulse and actually planned that exact moment, that’s what would have happened. Maybe she’d have even taken you some place more secluded. Where she didn’t have to force you to be quiet, where she could let you be loud. Let that bastards ears be filled with you moaning her name. The wet sounds of your cunt soaking her fingers.

He’d never get to have you like that. He’d never get to feel the way you clenched on her fingers, the way your inner walls were so soft. No one would. Only her.

But maybe that was for another time. In that moment she was quite pleased with herself, pleased with the way she had you whimpering into her one hand and dripping all over the other.

She wished you could see how pathetic you looked there for her, squirming in her hold, eyes rolling to the back of your head as she pushed you closer the edge. Her hand across your mouth, neck covered in fresh hickeys, your arms grazing against the brick wall.

“ I don’t want you acting like that anymore. You understand me? “ she curled her fingers as she said it, pressing at the spot she knew sent you spiralling. That she knew would render you unable to respond, that gave you that wonderful blank look in your eyes when all you could think about was her. Exactly as she wanted you. You nodded your head, eyes falling closed “ I can’t have you showing me up like that again“

She couldn’t. She didn’t need people seeing you treat her like a pushover, so easily able to walk all over her. She was in charge. She had the control. You were hers

“ who do you belong to? “ she asked you, moving her hand down from your mouth and gripping at your chin “ who? “

“ you “ you said breathlessly, your chest heaving and grip on her wrist tightening. She knew you well enough to know when you were almost there, recognised the sounds. The look in your eyes. The way you tightened around her fingers.

“ say it again”

“ fuck- “ she was a little cautious of how loud you were being again but she wanted to hear you say it, needed you to say her name and feed the jealous creature sitting in her chest.

“ say it or I swear I will leave you here like this “ she threatened “ say my name baby “

“ Tess “ you gasped, voice high and breathy “ Tess. You I belong to you please- “ she smiled and gave a small nod.

“ that’s my girl “ she moved her hand back over your mouth as you came, whining loudly even muffled by her fingers “ you fuckin remember that yeah? You’re mine “ she said against your ear as she worked you through it, coming over her fingers “ all mine “ she kept going, only withdrawing her fingers when you slumped against her. Legs shaking and chest heaving as you caught your breath.

She dropped her hand from your mouth, eyes scanning your face and an overwhelming smugness settling over her at your fucked out appearance.

“ did I make myself clear? “ she asked quietly, thumb brushing over your lips.

“ crystal “ she pressed a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth before letting you go and taking a step back, running a hand through her hair as she looked at her handiwork. It was clear as day what had just happened and she took great pride in the fact that you would walk back into that courtyard, and everyone would know. Bruises were blooming on your throat, your cheeks were flushed, lips swollen from your teeth sinking into them, hair dishevelled.

“ I’ll let you get back to work then shall I? “ she said with a smile as if it were the most normal thing.

“ you fuckin kidding me? “ she shrugged and leant forward to press a kiss to your cheek “ just keep your hands to yourself this time “ then she stepped back and made her way back to Joel, almost sauntering her way back to the table where he was still sat.

The cat who had gotten the cream.

“ you are fuckin unbelievable “ he muttered with a shake of his head as she sat back in her chair, arms folded over her chest and eyes locked on the entrance to the alleyway waiting for you to appear.

“ deal me some new cards Texas “ he shook his head with a sigh but gathered up the cards again as you re appeared. You had tried to make yourself look more presentable by the looks of things, but even if people could excuse the flushed look of your cheeks or the glazed look in your eyes. There was no escaping the freshly bloomed artwork she’d left on your neck.

She’d like to see anyone try it on with you now.

#tess servopoulos #tess servopoulos x reader #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fanfiction #smut #x you #x reader #other characters for exposure:#Joel miller #Ellie Williams #tlou hbo #Anna torv

276 notes · View notes

twilightlight-enashinonome · 2 months

Note

omg you guys r so good!! i tried listening to vbs’s “music” and it was just awful i’m glad i found real artists lmao

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME.

Alright, listen here, you little asswipe. I don't know who you think you're talking to but I can see why you hid your pathetic little opinions behind that fucking anon label because you KNEW this was backhanded hate and you just think I'm stupid don't you? I'll tell you what, you .5 on a good day good for nothing dick-breath shrimp-ass-posture having motherfucker, maybe you can't tell because your brain is too rotted by cheeto dust, but vbs has some of the best music I and anyone else in the history of the fucking universe will ever hear in their short, pathetic lives. Some of THE BEST. THE. REALEST. are you fucking listening? This group is not just gonna surpass RADder, they'll surpass all the fucking musicians that ever have and ever will make music. they'll surpass MOZART. BACH. BEETHOVEN. those old dead guys will be ROLLING IN THEIR GRAVES and when they emerge from the ground as zombies they're gonna go for YOU first, people who can't comprehend REAL music. people who don't know what GOOD is. and they'll find that they starve, because zombies eat brains and you HAVE NONE OF THOSE. there's nothing in your head, your skull is thicker than the length of the great wall of fucking china and when things DO get through it they go NOWHERE. Don't think that anon label is gonna save you, I'll fucking find you, and when I smack your head with a baseball bat it'll make the sound of a goddamn boomwhacker because it's HOLLOW. I'll get your address and I will hire someone to BUILD A VENUE right next to YOUR HOUSE and I'll get vbs to perform for you for 48 hours like the world's most spiteful fucking serenade. I will somehow get my lazy nocturnal ass up early to arrange a collaboration with vbs so we can weed bobbleheaded bumbling fucking idiots like you out of niigo's fanbase, YOU ARE NOT FUCKING WELCOME HERE. I hope your dysfunctional braincells shut down entirely and you walk off a cliff into an angry raccoon nest and one of them bites your dick off. I hope you get so many mosquito bites in places you can't reach and nobody cares about you enough to scratch them for you and every backscratcher you try and get is sold to you by some sleazy scammer. I hope your fucking crops wither and your livestock die and your family gets the plague and you have to eat dirt to survive but even the earthworms won't claim you because you're so disgusting. I hope you get jumped by unhinged vbs fans in a back alley and I'm among them so the last thing you see is my face. get out of my fucking inbox.

go stream kashika. i'm logging off for the night.

#saccharine daffodil #// I FEEL LIKE THIS NEEDS TW TAGS BUT I DONT KNOW WHICH ONES.#tw everything #← whys that even a tag #// also he is totally not logging off for the night

39 notes · View notes

ghouljams · 4 months

Note

*Pointing a water gun at you* Don't you dare make me fall in love this that new Fae AU! Don't you dare!! It's such a fun concept, I can already feel myself getting hooked on it like all of your other AUs, no matter how hard I try to ignore it 😭😭

(Also sorry for spamming your inbox lmao, I have a lot to say :'D)

It's just Ghost's reverse fae au, giving Miss Love a little taste of the boy... The whole thing would be about Ghost getting his heart back and learning maybe he didn't entirely come back from all the brainwashing and torture, maybe he's not as happy as he thought he was, maybe he needs that bit of danger in his life even when he's home....

Without the fae, it's an au about Ghost realizing he can have his own family, he doesn't need to rely on Tommy's. It turns his life upside down to realize he wants a partner and kids, and that he's in a place where he could have that. It would be a very soft story about Ghost learning to love himself and re-learning how to love another person with a lot of support from his family. Sort of the last step in his healing journey, as usual from Ghoul.

(never apologize for spamming my inbox ily)

#ghoul speaks #simon ghost riley

35 notes · View notes

newathens · 3 months

Note

i totally agree, the relationships between fathers and sons are prolly my fave elements of pjo, but let's not nerf our goddesses ricky!!

i can't even begin to explain how much i loathe rick's depictions of femininity in the series, he will pay for his depictions of aphrodite and hera, two goddesses very feminine in what they represent. he did the entire concept of aphrodite's children so so poorly, he doesn't even try to show us their skillset and shows them sitting out of capture the flag to do their makeup or whatever?? and i like the idea of hera being obsessed with the 'perfect family' ideal she is trying to get the olympians to live up to but the way rick has portrayed it has fallen so short and it is obvious in general fandom reception of hera that it is inherently misogynistic (the amount of times i've seen people call pjo hera a bitch, keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth!!). like hera is so misunderstood, she is one of the only gods to challenge zeus and take action especially since she's in a position to do so with less repercussion than others might receive (with the exception of the rebellion and whatnot), but no!! she is evil stepmother!! bitch who goes after zeus' lovers and children!!

and then you have slightly less feminine goddesses (though i'd argue they're still quite feminine in nature) artemis and athena, the former being a manhating stoic girlboss, how fucking creative rick go girl give us nothing. and what's the deal with artemis kicking out two sapphics from the hunt, like that is so icky to me in so many ways. then there's athena, who rick goes out of his way to show that she is a bad mother and person in general (using the roman myth of medusa on a greek goddess?? boooo, tomato, tomato). rick has the most annoying tendency to find one stereotypical trait about a greek god and just latch onto that for their characterisation and nothing else, you see it with some of the gods but it is so so prevalent in the goddesses. poseidon gets his good moments as a dad and viewed quite favourably in percy's eyes (on another note, the blatant bias in the greek gods and heroes books is laughable but that's another time), apollo gets a whole book series to have a redemption arc (good for him, though), hades gets some good moments too (though it's quite annoying to me seeing the fandom praise him as one of the 'good ones' lmao). zeus... i don't like rick's depiction of him for reasons entirely unrelated lol, but the point is that the gods are allowed to be multifaceted and complex, but the goddesses get their stupid stereotypical traits exacerbated and maybe one or two half-assed moments of something else. it pisses me off so much!!!

(sorry for leaving an essay in your inbox but in my defence you asked for this XD)

when did u send this !!!!! 10/10. no notes

he does this all the time and it’s not just the olympian goddesses either. his recent depiction of nyx was so….. i can’t even adequately form my thoughts on the matter. the characterization of the goddesses in the pjoverse are not given much thought. even when i try to rationalize and analysis it, they still fall short. iris, medea, khione off the top of my head, all fun characters but each have something umm distasteful(?) in their depictions. definitely a part of all three series that deserves more examination

#of course he’s A MAN. what can we expect #i did not see this in my notifs i am sorry if i missed it for too long!

33 notes · View notes

apt502-if · 7 months

Note

hiiiiiii, i just wanted to say that i love the option to be able to be from a different country. 🫶 i really love that you can even input a country and your mom's "nickname" (idk how to call it lmao) and the option to speak your mother tongue with her. 🥺 there's not a lot of opportunities in if to do so and most of them are based on america, so it can feel weird to make ocs of my own nationality lol and that sucks sometimes! so that was genuinely such a nice surprise and made me really happy. 🩷 (also oof, leaving your family and friends behind and moving to an entirely different country/continent to be with your partner, only for them to dump you when you arrive lmao that's extra super shitty of rainn. its ok, i still love them though.)

Yay I'm happy you liked that :}]} I can relate in a way. Even though I was born in NYC my mother is an immigrant and I speak to her in her mother tongue. I don't call her "mom" so it was nice to input that for both out of country and out of state routes.

Yeah Rainn hasn't been the favorite bwahahaha but funnily enough they are the most talked about in my inbox! (expected since most of the pilot is about them :ppp)

#mail #about: rainn

138 notes · View notes

whenthesnowfelloverwinterfell · 7 months

Text

Vatic - Chapter XII " A Different Coat "

Series Description : The youngest daughter of King Viserys and Queen Alicent grows up split between the two sides of her family. With dreams plaguing her sleep of people she does not know, and a war looming ahead of her. She will be forced to choose between the two sides of her family, between the love for her brother, and the loyalty for her sister.

Chapter Description : The wedding of Prince Aegon and Princess Helaena

Warnings : Very young and arranged marriage, vague self harm, mentions of violence, mentions of a bedding ceremony, mentions of whoring, Aegon isn't a good person lmao, crude language ( please tell me if I missed anything !! )

Pairing : Eventual Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen!Reader ( cannon typical targcest idk what to tell you )

Word Count : 5.0 K

A/N : You all bullied me in my inbox so here's the chapter I was holding onto for like a month lmao

That morning, Y/n had awoken from a dreadful dream, and it had plagued her the entire day. The dream had been a rather short one, but it stuck in her mind. The sound of the music playing from above the unfamiliar castle hall. The notes and beats ominous and a harbinger for a tragedy. It was all hazy now as the hours of the day had progressed, but she had hummed it to herself as the sights flooded her thoughts. An older woman with auburn hair and a boney face, bright blue eyes, and her son, the same hair and eyes. But he wore a cape on his back, to direwolf head broaches keeping it pinned to his body. A Stark.

Y/n could not put the visions in order. They had been scrambling since she had woken up. She would see the beautiful dark haired woman from the dream, clearly with child, laying in a pool of her own blood , lifeless. The words “- send their regards” echoing, but she could not attribute the voice to a single face, and she could not make out the name the man had said. A bolt from a crossbow in the young man’s shoulder, leaning over her. His mother holding a young girl captive, pleading with her son but Y/n could not remember what she had pleaded with him to do. All Y/n could remember before she woke up, was the woman’s sob. A cry unlike anything Y/n had ever heard.

It had kept her rather silent through the wedding ceremony between Aegon and Helaena. Alicent was rather quiet as well, and could hardly bring herself to watch the ceremony but it was for a far different reason than Y/n’s. She had many dreams before, she believed she’d even seen the auburn haired young man before in a dream, but none of them had ever been so violent. None so capable of rendering her silent. She had opted to hook her pinky finger with Aemond’s to keep herself grounded as they had arrived back to the Red Keep for the reception, and she had remained quiet as she sat and ate in her and Aemond’s shared silence.

Aegon had found his comfort with every time he had his cups replenished, and Helaena. . . She did not seem to find any comfort in her current station. She sat stiff, with her head bowed to stare into her lap. Aegon would not even dance with her at their own wedding feast, he spent more time giving attention to the serving girls who would then try to cower in the corners or with the ladies of the court to find refuge. Viserys was sitting at the table, hardly saying a word. exhausted in his own right. Y/n had heard the news. Four toes had been taken from him the night prior by the maester, and he been given a small dosage of milk of the poppy to keep the pain at bay, but not enough to where he looked content in his seat.

The princess felt no empathy for her father.

“Issi ao sȳrī?” Aemond whispered to her. This had been a running event between the two of them. If they did not wish for others to hear their conversations while surrounded, they would speak in High Valyrian. Helaena and Aegon would understand it, but Aegon, when he had practically drowned himself in wine, could hardly speak the common tongue, and Helaena wouldn’t tell anyone about their conversations. Their mother disliked when they did it, saying it was disrespectful, but they hadn’t paid much mind to their mother on the topic.

But Y/n did not know how to answer his question. Are you well?

“Nyke ȳdra daor gīmigon,” She mumbled to him, turning her head to look at him. His brow bone and left eye were covered by a leather patch he had recently taken to wearing ever since he had accidentally scared a few ladies of the court when he walked around with his empty eye socket exposed. She turned her head to look back at the crowd, lords and ladies dancing, sitting in their seats eating and conversing. But what she had said was the truth. She didn’t know if she was alright. Was it truly a dream? Were any of the dreams she had in a similar vain even dreams? A majority of them felt like memories. Like she had been there with all of the men and women there. But she did not even know their names. Y/n knew them all, and yet, she did not.

Faces stood out, and she could almost hear some of their voices, but she did not know their names, nor was she even sure they existed. Yet they plagued her. She felt Aemond’s hand gently grab her wrist from her lap, taking her hand to rest in both of his, but she felt on of his fingers trace along her cuticles.

“Ao kostagon’t lua ōdrikagon aōla.” He told her. That brought her attention to her the hand he was holding, where she noticed the healing breaks in her skin. you can’t keep harming yourself. She had not even realized she had done so. She knew that she often picked at her nails and bit at her cuticles, but she had not known she’d become so vicious with it that they had begun bleeding. But she realized when it had likely happened. When she had been standing with Aemond, one hand in his, and the other up in front of her face. She remembered the faint taste of iron in her mouth as Helaena had quietly spoken her vows.

Y/n pulled her hand out of his, resting it back on her lap, keeping her eyes trained on the dancers in front of her. Aemond sighed, still looking at her. But like a mirage, she could see the auburn haired young man standing by the doors of the great hall, staring at her blankly, a bolt of a crossbow lodged into his shoulder, a knife in his abdomen, his cape still being held in place by the direwolf head broaches. She did not understand.

She had spent her entire childhood around the idea of violence, she’d grown up around tapestries of a lewd nature, and watch as men trained in the training yard, frequently getting hurt, and Theobrand had told her she was ready to begin hunting out in the Kings Wood with him as part of her training. She had no issue with the idea of harming an animal, but she supposed the idea of hurting another person had never truly crossed her mind. But even so, she did not know the nature of the young man’s death, he could have been a traitor, he could have been a warmonger, and yet, she felt an extreme sense of familiarity and sorrow when she saw him in such a state.

But Y/n blinked, and he was gone.

Nervously, she brought her hand up to her mouth, her teeth beginning to nibble at the skin around her nails. In the corner of her eye, she could see Aegon drowning down another cup of wine, and when she turned to look at him, he had finished the drink, but he was holding the top of the glass by his mouth, but he was biting the nail of his thumb. A shared trait it would seem.

“Princess,”

Y/n looked back in front of her, quickly removing her hand from her mouth, looking at the young man in front of her. His hair light brown, and his eyes a dark brown. He wore an off white color, with red stitching. And his doublet was ornately embroidered with scarlett threads. And on the shoulder of his doublet, she could make out a red lion.

“Ser Raymond Reyne,” He introduced himself, bowing his head to the two of them. Lord Robert Reyne had one son. And he was nine years Y/n’s senior, and he was at court.

Y/n gave him an awkward nod in acknowledgement. “Ser,” She greeted.

He briefly glanced at Aemond before back at Y/n. “I have only just arrived in King’s Landing from Castamere, Princess. I was told that the festivities here were quite elaborate. That appears to have been true.”

Y/n nodded again “My family seems to have a taste for the dramatics,” She told him, feeling as Aemond took her hand under the table. “Does the Westerlands not have festivities so grandiose?”

Ser Raymond chuckled. “Not quite so, Princess. The Lannisters and the Reynes have a taste for the dramatics just as much as the crown. . . but we do not have the gold that comes with the crown to afford them to be as grand as this.” He seemed to examine her from where he stood and she sat.

She did not know what to say to him in response in the long pause of silence, all the while Aemond was squeezing her hand under the table, and she could see the scowl on his face from the corner of her eye.

“Red suits you, Princess.” Raymond complimented, pointing to Y/n’s gown. It was the first time she had worn red in a very long time. And she had only gotten away with it because Alicent was so busy fussing over Helaena to express her distaste for Y/n’s choice in outfit. But she had chosen it herself. A crimson color, with golden stitching all along the sleeves of her gown creating the shapes of dragons and flame. She had done the embroidery herself.

“Thank you, Ser.” She told him, a timid grin coming to grace her face.

“Would you care to dance, Princess?”

The question had Y/n frozen in her seat, squeezing Aemond’s hand, a lump forming in her throat. She knew how to dance, her mother had insisted she learn because of her birth status. A princess had to know how to dance in order to perform her duties as a lady of a castle or as a princess of the seven kingdoms.

But the answer came tumbling from her lips before she could even truly think about what to say. “Yes,”

Y/n stood, her hand slipping out of Aemond’s as she rounded the table. The table for their family had been placed on a temporary wooden dais, and Ser Raymond was standing on the stone floor. As she approached him, he reached his hand out for her to take and help her down.

Her first impression when she placed her hand in his, was that it was much larger than her own, and the second was that his hands were calloused and firm. She stepped down onto the stone, finally noticing just how tall he truly was in comparison to her. He was a knight, and not a child, it was to be expected that he would be taller.

Ser Raymond led Y/n to the dance floor as the prior song came to end. Once there, Ser Raymond turned her by her hand to face him, and as the next song began, he placed his free hand on her waist, and she rested her’s on his arm.

“Your sister does not appear happy with her match to Prince Aegon.” Raymond stated as they began stepping. briefly gesturing with his chin to Helaena.

“I do not know how my sister feels,” Y/n confessed. “But I do know she does not enjoy crowds. They make her uncomfortable.”

Raymond nodded in understanding. “In my experience, in every wedding I’ve been to before, the bride is apprehensive as to what is to come.”

Y/n tilted her head in confusion. “When the men carry her off?” The inquiry was met with a chuckle laced with condesention. She had heard it plenty before from Aegon.

“Yes, Princess.” He said, recovering from his laughter. “Carrying her off.” He laughed again as they continued to dance. She narrowed her eyes at him, and pressed her lips into a fine line, but he seemed not to notice as he continued speaking.

“It is my first time at court, Princess. What do you do for entertainment?”

Y/n explained to him her archery practice, and how Theobrand trained her, but Ser Raymond seemed to be unsettled when she began to speak about it. She knew why. Her grandsire had been disturbed by a young girl learning any type of art of war or violence. He disliked it whenever he saw her in her training breeches, following Theobrand to the training yards. Most men found it unsettling.

So she moved topics. She spoke of how she enjoyed history, and enjoyed when Aemond read to her philosophy books, or how she enjoyed to embroider her dresses while Aemond read to her, and that seemed to gain Raymond’s interest back.

“What history seems to be your favorite, Princess?” He asked as he spun her around during the dance.

“I enjoy the history of house Lannister.” She admitted shyly. Aemond had found it odd that she was interested in the history of a house that was not their own, but he had indulged it, even finding a book somewhere in the deep corners of the library about the Lannisters.

“Lann the Clever and his scheming. The King and Queens of the Rock. I know much about Lannister history as well. The Reynes and Lannisters have a deeply intertwined history.” Raymond acknowledged.

She nodded. “So I’ve read. Alys Reyne married a King of the Rock.”

“Cerion Lannister. One of the greatest kings in the Lannister line.” Raymond informed. She had known the king’s name, but she had chosen to leave it out. Alys Reyne was the one who had married into the Lannister line. “The Lannisters frequently like to underestimate me and my family, treat as if we are subservient to them.”

“You are a vassal house to them. . . You do serve them.” She reminded as the song came to an end. The two of them both stepped away from the dancing as the next song began.

“A lion cannot rule over another lion. You do not know this, Princess, but in the wild, there is scarcely any lions in a pride. The lionesses make up the majority of it. And that is because the lions do not wish to be ruled.” Raymond took Y/n’s arm gently, leading her back to the dais.

“And the lionesses do?”

“That is unimportant. The point is that no other lion can command another. They are of two separate prides. With the same power.” Raymond’s ignorance was glimmering through his words. A house sigil meant nothing in comparison to those within the house. It was a dangerous thing to spout. The Lannisters were more powerful than the Reyenes. The Lannisters were far more prideful and their ambitions knew no bounds. The Reynes were audacious, and that was far more dangerous for them.

As the approached the dais, Ser Raymond helped her step up. But before she left for her seat, she turned to look at him. She looked him up and down and the words came to her as she looked at him. “Only a cat of a different coat.” She saw him furrow his brows and only slightly tilt his head. “That is the only truth you know.”

They shared a look of confusion. He was confused by her words just as much as she was. She quickly bowed her head to him and scurried off to the table, taking her seat beside Aemond once more, feeling his hand instantly incase her’s once more.

“Gaoman daor hae zirȳla” Aemond asserted from beside her. I do no like him.

“Gaomā daor jorrāelagon naejot, Lēkia” She told him softly. You do not need to, Brother. She looked at him only to find he was staring Ser Raymond down as he spoke with his father, Lord Reyne, and a young woman. “You cannot dislike someone just because I danced with them. Surely there must be another reason?”

Aemond shook his head in response, continuing to stare down the Reynes from their seats. She sighed in response, leaning over to him to place her spare hand of his. His temper had begun to grow in recent weeks. “Umbagon gīda.” She soothed. Remain calm.

“My lords and ladies! I believe it is time for the bedding ceremony!” A man bellowed from the crowd. There was then obnoxious clamouring from the lot of them, and almost as if in a flash, their mother had appeared behind her and Aemond, a firm hand on both of their shoulders.

Y/n watched as Aegon downed the last of his wine and stood up from his seat, wobbling a bit as he did so. Confidence was oozing from his posture as he found his balance, however, Helaena stood timidly, her head hung as she did so. Many others stood as well. Aemond had stood only to step closer to Y/n as Aegon and Helaena stepped down from the dais, and a swarm of women of the court approached Aegon, giggling and laughing as they pracitally herded him out of the great hall, their hands lingering on his body.

The men. . . they looked predatory as they approached Helaena. They did not herd her in the way that the women had done to Aegon. They were grabbing and pulling, shoving, dragging her out of the great hall, and Y/n could make out her look of distress as they got her out of the hall, going in the same direction as the women had taken Aegon.

The great hall grew quiet, and Y/n was sat there, staring at the grand doors in confusion. “I believe it is time for the two of you to go to bed.”

“But, Mother-” Aemond tried to speak

“You heard your mother, Aemond. You and Y/n need to find your ways to your beds. Go.” Their grandsire interrupted. His tone firm and commanding yet quiet enough to where it did not strike fear in them.

“It is a celebration, I see no reason why they may not stay up later than my wife insists for them.” Viserys was speaking through deep breaths, as though he had climbed a vast amount of stairs and was attempting to keep his fatigue unnoticed by those around him.

But Y/n was already standing from her seat to go to her bedchambers, quietly walking around the table to step off of the dais and go to her chambers, but the moment that her foot touched off the dais, Maris had appeared, and taken her by the arm, interlocking their elbows, and the Tarly girl set a brisk pace for the two of them down the great hall to the large wooden doors.

Maris was wearing her house colors, her hair gracefully fallen around her face and back, two small braids at either side of her head having been pulled to the back and tied together. Y/n did not understand why Maris had not gone with the other ladies of the court, or why she had suddenly grabbed her, or why they had been walking at such a fast pace.

“Maris-”

“Princess, you have to pass Aegon’s bedchambers to go to your own. You will get lost in the chaos.” Maris informed her, her other hand coming to squeeze Y/n’s forearm.

Y/n still did not understand what she meant by it. Or why they were doing what they were doing.

“You should be with Helaena, you are her maid-”

Maris came to a sudden stop, and Y/n watched as she suddenly looked around them for any sign of someone whose presence would be unwelcomed. But once she had decided no such person was there, she turned her attention back to Y/n, fulling facing her and placing her hands on Y/n’s shoulders. “Believe me when I say no lady or maiden wants to be in that room. The only ones who do are the depraved deviants of the court. I do not wish for you to get lost in the crowd outside of the room.”

Y/n opened her mouth to speak, but Maris beat her to the punch. “Your grandsire found it more fitting that I was your maid-in-waiting, you are a young maiden in need of other maidens in your presence. Helaena does not seem too comfortable with multiple maids in her presence. Now, we should get you to your chambers before your mother has my head.”

Y/n remained silent, and Maris led her through the familiar halls until the reached the royal apartments. She could hear shouting echoing through the corridors, and some of Aegon and Helaena’s clothing littering the floor as Maris turned a corner. And that’s where Y/n saw them. The ladies and lords, and knights and maidens of the court standing and hollering outside of Aegon’s door. Many of the ones who were up against the door had their ears pressed up against it, cackling and yelling profanities.

Maris pulled Y/n closer to her, an arm snaking around Y/n’s shoulders to keep her close. Maris had been right. She would have gotten lost in the chaos. The swarm took up an entire portion of the corridor, and Maris was getting ready to shove through them.

“Deflower your new bride, My Prince!” One man yelled. They were incredibly loud. Y/n brought her hands up to her ears, to at least try to muffle the sound.

“Be sure you know where you’re putting it!” Another man yelled. As they began to push through the lot of them, Y/n and Maris were being bumped into from everyone moving around. They finally made their way through the massive crowd of people, but it did not end.

The yelling continued. “Well, at least we know she’s a maiden!” A woman yelled. “Was a maiden!” A man responded. When Y/n had taken her hands away from her ears for a brief second, she could hear Helaena’s wailing from the otherside of the door. She made an attempt to get out of Maris’ grasp to run to the door. Her sister was in trouble, but Maris prevented her from leaving, practically dragging her down the rest of the length of the hall until the reached her own bedchambers, where Maris practically shoved her into the room.

“Helaena needs help!” Y/n screeched at Maris, attempting to shove past her to reach her door, but Maris grabbed her and pulled her away. But Y/n attempted to shrug her loose, but Maris’ grip was far to tight, no doubt leaving red marks in Y/n’s skin through the fabric.

Maris grabbed Y/n from around the waist, pulling her back from the door, but Y/n was kicking at her legs and hitting at her arms with closed fists.

“Princess, please!” Maris pleaded.

“Unhand me!” she shouted back, trying to loosen Maris’ grip on her arms, but the older girl was stronger, and more determined it would seem. Determined to disallow Y/n from protecting her sister from whatever harm was falling onto her.

“Y/n, enough!” Maris finally shouted, grabbing the young princess by her face, both of Maris’ hands on either side of her jaw. Y/n fell silent. No one had ever dared speak to her in such a way before. Too afraid of the Queen’s response. And when Rhaenyra was still in King’s Landing, they were equally petrified as to what the crowned princess would do to anyone who so much as laid an unwanted touch to Y/n.

Y/n’s eyes with the purple portion in one of them locked with Maris’ amber colored ones. Her brows were pinched together, and her shoulders hunched up in frustration, her hair a bit frizzed up in the aftermath of their struggling with one another.

“Why will you not allow to go to Helaena’s aide?” Y/n’s voice was quiet. Defeated. Her own friend would not allow her to protect her kin. Sweet Helaena who never voiced her displeasure except in ‘hms’ and uncomfortable expressions she did not seem to have control over. Helaena had no ill will to anyone, and kept to herself.

“Princess. . .” Maris sighed, closing her eyes to gather her thoughts into what could be coherent words. “Do you know what happens when a man and woman are wed?” Y/n stayed quiet. She did not think that there was much that they did. “Oh, Y/n. . .” Maris seemed to have come to an unpleasant realization. “I would have thought your lady mother would have at least given you some clue.”

“Maris, I do not understand?”

“Your brother is a drunk, whoring, letcher of a prince. He has no morals and he is depraved. He sneaks out of the Red Keep at night to go whoring around Flea Bottom and the Street of Sisters.” Maris’ words were calloused, her thoughts on Aegon made extremely clear through her unwavering and deepened voice.

“Maris-”

“They are doing the bedding ceremony, Princess.” Maris interrupted. “And your brother knows only the whores of Flea Bottom who are experienced and have been used by men like him their entire lives so they make profit of it. On the streets of King’s Landing you can find a brothel or a common whore every block. Women who will allow men like Aegon to do to them as they please.”

Y/n’s eyelids refused to blink. Instead, they stayed wide open, mouth agape at Maris’ words. Y/n had heard the phrases ‘whore’ and ‘common whore’ before. She believed she’d even heard the word ‘brothel’ before. But she did not know what any of them meant. And the way Maris spat her words out of her mouth like a rotten fruit was beginning to make Y/n believe they were bad things.

“Young men and women are very different, Princess. In many ways. You and I are the same because we possess wombs and all the same bits between our legs. Men are the same because they all share the same bits as one another between their own legs as well. Bedding is when a man puts his in a woman’s.”

“What?” Y/n stuttered out. Her stomach churned at the very wording of Maris’ sentence.

But the Tarly girl was growing frustrated. Y/n could see it in the way she was breathing and the way her eyes held a certain unknown look in them. Anger.

“Men derive pleasure and gratification from shoving their cocks into a woman. And many men do not know how to treat their new wife on their wedding night. Your brother included. Your sister sounded like she was in pain because she was.”

Y/n shook her head, stepping away from her. “And you would not allow me to help? To defend her?”

“You cannot help her in this, sweet girl.” Y/n did not like that Maris was older than her in this moment. Because despite her own denial of the situation she had heard through the stone walls and wooden door of Aegon’s bedchambers, she knew in her very core that Maris would not lie to her. “It is expected of her. And Aegon is her husband, to everyone else in the realm is the one who commands her. You could not tell him or prevent him from harming her if it was what he wished to do. But in this, Princess, you must trust and believe me, he just did not care that she was a maiden.”

Y/n looked at Maris once again. “Must I one day do that?”

Maris chewed her bottom lip and avoided Y/n’s gaze. The silence was palpable. But she saw her nod. “All ladies must.” She finally answered. “Some men are kind and gentle. You may get lucky with one of those men, Princess. Princess Helaena was unlucky in her match.”

The young princess found herself wishing she was anywhere but there in that moment. She wanted to find an escape. She did not know what to do with her hands, or her feet. But she had such a strong urge to start running and just never stop. She felt completely useless in that moment. She could not help her sweet elder sister. She could not run to her mother in fear of being told their topic of conversation was improper. She did not wish to discuss it with Aemond who was likely just as at a loss on the topic as she was. She did not care to speak to the king, she did not like her grandsire in truth.

She wanted Rhaenyra.

She wanted to run to her eldest sister and find comfort in her embrace as she once did when she resided at the Red Keep. She wished to discuss the complexities of life she was at a loss for. Letters did not suffice.

Rhaenyra would answer any question Y/n posed to her to the best of her ability. She would rub Y/n’s back and stroke her hair in the way Y/n always liked. Rhaenyra would be of some comfort. She longed to be called ‘Dae’ once more. She did not know why Rhaenyra called her that. But she missed the pure and unadulterated affection that came with it. Alicent always appeared to have a hint of guilt whenever she showed affection to Y/n and her siblings, she did not allow herself to openly and publicly show affection for her children. She would lay a hand on their shoulders, or grab her and Aemond’s hands within her own, and would be affectionate in the only way she knew how in private, she’d hold Y/n when she went to her mother’s chambers, but she longed for the embraces that were initiated by Rhaenyra.

Maris pulled Y/n into a tight embrace, but it was not what she had wanted. “I want Rhaenyra.” She admitted in a murmur.

Add yourself to the taglist !!

@disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @winxschester @blissfulbluenights @ghostlypineappl @dreaming-of-the-reality @strangersunghoon @shesjustanothergeek @floralsightings

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #house of the dragon fic #aemond targaryen #aemond x you #aemond targaryen fic #game of thrones fic #aemond imagine

56 notes · View notes

pieroulette · 2 years

Text

| ROUTE 1: HEESEUNG |

A Story That Starts With a Text

📃summary: when you installed a dating app to just mess around with random people, not knowing that you were turning your peaceful life into a bloody one the moment you sent that text.

🎬genre: yandere, angst

⚠️warning: self harming, lots of cursing, angst, evil Heeseung lmao,

📜word count: 11.3k

🌹pairing: heeseung x fem! reader

🖋️a/n: finally done! Thank you so much for waiting!! Again sorry if there's any grammar errors! And thank you again for reading my story, and as always reblogs and comments are always and highly appreciated! have a nice day <3

—

| 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟖: 𝐋𝐢𝐞 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐞 |

—

Blood.

There's blood everywhere.

Red, everything was red. You saw nothing but red.

From the hem of your clothes, to the red stains on your fingers and the smudgy red stains on the rail, and to the bloody sheets on the white material.

You wished it's your tears that were the blood instead of theirs.

Tears endlessly pour down your cheeks as your feet try to sync themselves with the speeding stretchers with Heeseung and EJ on them; blood pooling down from their head down to their neck, and open wounds on their arms and legs.

How did this happen? They were doing just fine, and safe, before..

You shook your head, trying your best to regain your composure but it didn't last long when your eyes laid on the two boys.

You slid down to the floor with your back against the wall, clasping your head with your hands as your sniffles and hiccups echoed through the cold hallway of the hospital. Shaking in fear as you can only watch the red light on the top of the operating room blinking repeatedly, as if it was mocking you that it was your very fault this had happened in the first place.

Getting your phone from your pocket, your hand visibly shakes as you scroll through the numbers, tapping it as the call goes through.

You waited. But no one answers. Blinking back your tears, as it keeps dropping on the screen, as it strains because of the phone’s brightness, and partly because of the pain in your heart that your family isn't answering your call. And you know very well, they were ignoring you.

Wiping your tears off with the sleeve of your shirt, you sniffed as your fingers tapped the chat inbox of your sister’s — typing a short text about what had happened but you erased it again. They won’t bother to read your text, so why bother trying? But how would you inform them about Heeseung?

A nurse came into view from the distance and suddenly you got an idea, you immediately stood up walking over to her.

“Nurse!” she turned around facing you with a confused expression, “Can I ask you for a favour?”

—

Rush footsteps were echoing in the distance. You raised your head after sitting against the wall with your head hanging low for what seems like an eternity, peeking at the corners and there your sight was met with none other than your parents and your sister with Heeseung’s family. Heart sinking deeply and scared of what was about to come, you gulped and stood up. You can only observe as she shuffles around, looking for Heeseung, only him.

“W-what happened?” Your sister asked the nurse with wide eyes and fear clearly painted on her face. “Where’s Heeseung!?”

The nurse then explains the entire situation to them which leads to them breaking in tears, loud cries filling the place.

Ah, was that really what she was looking for? You knew that you would never be the reason they would come here again so why when you saw your sister, why were you still hoping? Hoping that a question would come out from her mouth, and that will be none other than you. To ask where you are or how you are doing. You lean against the wall, still waiting for anything to come out from your family, anything as long as it's about you. But you never heard it even until the doctors came out from the operating room and informed Heeseung’s family that he was now safe, however the next word that came out from the doctor made you bawl in tears.

“Both the patients have slipped into a coma.” the doctor

Covering your mouth with your hand as you try to suppress your cries, you push yourself up and walk off, your feet bringing itself farther and farther away from the hospital. The night sky greeting you along with its cold weather, alone you were as you walked through the street.

Your tears had run dry on your cheeks, tired and weak as you walked through the street. Right here and right now, you were supposed to be with EJ, even Heeseung should have been safe and well with his friends and your sister around this time but instead they were far too gone in the darkness, in the confines of the machines and wires with no guarantee of when they could ever wake up.

You don't know what kind of history they had with each other, but still you couldn't bear if one of them died because of you or even worse — laid unconscious in the confines of the hospital forever.

This shit happened all because you didn’t know who to trust, all because of your shitty headaches that you weren’t able to stop them from fighting, all because of you. It was your fault, wasn’t it?

With your phone in your fists, you turn it on, scrolling through your call log as your family and your sister’s number appear, making your lips tremble once again. You keep scrolling through again and again trying to figure out who you can call right now, who can help you right now. Just a hug and a few words of encouragement was what you needed at this moment because guilt was consuming your entire being to the point you wanted to cry again and again but you couldn’t, because you couldn’t bring the tears out anymore.

“Ch-chaeryeong?” you let out, as you choked on your tears.

“Hey! (Name)! Why are you calling-” the enthusiasm in your best friend’s voice made you burst into tears again, “Wha- wait are you okay?” her concerned voice from your phone’s speaker echoed through the cold breeze.

“I-im..” you bend down, hugging your knees with your arms, “I’m not okay."

—

A day, and a two turns into five, which then turns out to a week, then so on.

Until a few weeks had passed since the accident, a few weeks of you staying in Chaeryeong’s apartment, and a few weeks of guilt tormenting you. Your best friend were unaware of what was going on but by the looks of it, she couldn’t say much about it but comfort you which was the best thing because that is what you really needed right now. There were days where you felt embarrassed for staying free in her new apartment but she brushes it off by a strong flick on your forehead that it was not like you two had just met yesterday or that you were both strangers. Her frowning face made you giggle, bringing a bit of happiness inside you despite your state.

Through those weeks, you secretly visited Heeseung and EJ and every time you did so, every time you saw them unconscious — you burst into tears because it was because of you of why they were now in this horrible state, you held their hands in yours as you gently stroked theirs, apologising over and over again even though they were not awake to hear it. Praying for the first time in your life even though you never believed that there was a deity, all because you couldn’t bear the guilt anymore that all of this was because of you.

Placing the box of freshly cooked chicken on the desk, you watched EJ who was sleeping so sound and safe even though it was the complete opposite truth, you’ve also come to know that EJ had no family, in fact he does but according to the nurse, his family had ignored their calls and had abandoned him a long time ago which explains why EJ never bothered to tell you anything about his private life. Sitting at the chair beside the bed as you watch over EJ with machine’s wires intact to him, you look down in guilt, clenching your fists, wondering if you manage to stop their fight, would this even happen? Or maybe if you didn’t follow him back then, he wouldn’t have to turn out like this.

Staring at the box of chickens on the desk, the delicious smell that lingers in the air brings you back to when EJ sometimes visits you with a box of chickens in his hands.

“EJ, can you wake up now? I’ve bought your favourite chicken. Remember? Sometimes you share them with me every time you visit me because you told me that people shouldn’t eat alone, because if that was the case, then family wouldn’t be eating together. So, wake up now please. I don’t want to eat alone, you told me right? Please wake up so we can eat together.”

You looked up to the ceiling trying to keep your tears from falling but you still failed to do so as it flowed down to your cheeks again and it continued on till the box of chickens had gone cold.

—

With a heavy heart as you pushed open the door to Heeseung’s room, you walked in only to see him in the same state as EJ as well, again. The warm heat from the air-con greets you, but the sight of him this way breaks your heart, making it so cold. You leaned forward, taking his hands in yours as you gave a small peck on his hands, letting out a soft murmur, “Please wake up..”

“Just wake up, and tell me you really didn’t do anything- and I’ll believe you.” you choked, hanging your head low on the soft mattress. You look at his face, so innocent and so angelic, just like he had always looked when he accompanied you through your hard times, just like how he always looked into your eyes as if he was telling you that he will always be by your side no matter what happens. Now that you thought of it, another guilt consumes you once again. The memories of their faces and how they desperately asked you to believe one of them was the cause of your dilemma, you really don’t know who to believe because they both look so honest. Who was really lying back then? Who?

You sighed dejectedly, looking around the place to clear off your mind and then the bouquet of withered roses in the vase beside the window caught your attention, and the sight made you frown because it brought you back to time when Heeseung brought flower pots for you, placing them beside your window just so their scent would give you a sense of comfort. Then an idea popped in your head making you stand up so quickly but not before taking a look at Heeseung once again, stroking his hand with your fingers, “I’ll take the flower for you, okay?”

You hurriedly went into the room you were once before but not before peeking at the see-through circle if there was anyone inside, and luckily for you, it was empty. Opening the door quietly, you went in searching for the flower pot Heeseung gave you a week ago, the day he was fixing the flowers in front of you, you kept it under your bed before you left with EJ that day and so you bent down on your knees and to your relief, it was still there.

Your face falls after you realise what you had initially wanted to ask, a dilemma consuming your mind as you stare at his back and then at the flower pot he placed beside the window.

“What’s that? It’s so yellowish I thought it was a sunflower at first.” you tilted your head to gain a better view at the flower.

Heeseung chuckles at your words, “It’s a rare flower that my mom bought and placed in our garden, it’s just so beautiful to look at and it even smells good.” he took the small pot of a pendulous and trumpet-shaped flower in his hands to show you.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Heeseung says with a sweet smile on his face.

“What is it called?”

“Once you get better then I’ll tell you.”

“What in the actual fuck is that-”

Heeseung chuckled at your words, “Just get better soon, and you’ll know what it is later.”

—

Walking back to Heeseung’s room with the flower pot in your hand, you thought you could at least do the same thing for him. Who knows, he might wake up again because of this scent, or at least when he did wake up, then it would give him comfort just like it had done for you.

You immediately stop yourself from opening the door when you notice it was slightly open and the sudden loud voices from inside the room making your heart drop, knowing who it was; Heeseung’s friends and your sister, Chaewon. Afraid that you might make trouble again if you show yourself to them, you tried to walk away but not when the words of EJ struck you at that very moment.

“Heeseung has a disgusting deal with his friends.”

Friends. Heeseung’s friends. Those bastards. If what EJ said was true then these guys aren’t so innocent either.

Heeseung’s friends, the one EJ mentioned about the deal. You remember them back in the party that day;

“God, Heeseung. What happened to you dude?” the obvious accent in the boy’s voice, Jake.

“Chae, what happened?” another one, you remember who it was, Jay.

“Look at him, he looks like a baby in his peaceful nap.” a higher-pitched voice calls out, “Really, is that what you can think of?” someone lets out a scoff. You remember it as Sunoo and Sunghoon.

“Ni-ki, don’t touch that! That’s for Heeseung!” Jake voiced out.

“Aish, just one please!” the tall boy who was pissed over the entire ordeal that day, Ni-ki.

“Just let him. What did the doctor say by the way?” and the boy you caught in the game, Jungwon.

All of them are Heeseung's friends, the very group that created that disgusting deal to play your sister like a doll. You grimaced as your hands tightened around the door, to think that they could even be capable of doing such thing makes you wanna puke and the fact they’re now talking with your sister like they didn’t plan anything horrible about her was enough for you to just walk out and call them out for what they did. But you can’t, because you know that it will be met with nothing but the same response over and over again. No one to back up what you said, no one to believe what you said, you were all alone in this mess. The mess that you made.

“The doctor said it was a miracle that he went past the critical condition, but he wasn’t sure when Heeseung’s gonna wake up.” your sister dejectedly sighed.

“I heard your sister was the reason this happened to Heeseung in the first place.” Ni-ki raised his eyebrow.

You gasped. How did they know?

“Wait, I never told you guys?” Chaewon raised her eyebrows.

“Heemin told us, you know what she’s like.” Jay shrugged, “So it was true then?”

You waited for her response, but the room was filled with silence.

“Tch, just what’s wrong with your sister? It seems like she does nothing but make a mess, you know?” Sunghoon sighed.

“She really does nothing but mess. It has always been that way and I’m really tired of it.” she growled, biting your lips as you gripped the pot in your hands tighter.

A chuckle emits from the room, “She must be adopted then?”

“Ni-ki.” Jungwon called out.

“What, hyung? C’mon, just by the looks of it. Even Chaewon is done with her, we don’t like her at all.”

“She has bad luck, it probably sticks with her since the moment she was born.” another voice jokes around.

“And look, Heeseung caught parts of her horrible luck.” Ni-ki shrugged.

You try to blink repeatedly, holding back yourself from crying again.

“She’s selfish, that’s why. It was my fault I trusted her from the start.”

Selfish? You let out a small chuckle as your burst into tears, covering your face with your right hand as you gritted your teeth. When have you ever been selfish? When have you ever done that? Digging your nails on the flower pot, you walked off in tears, unable to hear anything more from them. The sun rays fell on you as you walked across the street, leaving the hospital behind you. Your tears flowed through the flower’s petals till it dropped on the soil, drenching it. And without hesitation, you decided to walk off not knowing what happened after you left.

Jungwon sighed as he fixes the straps of his guitar case for the nth time, when he suddenly noticed Heeseung’s eyes fluttering open, immediately walking over to him, "H-heeseung?"

—

Ever since then, you haven't checked on Heeseung and you planned to never do it. Everything you heard that day was too much for you to the point it consumes your thoughts day and night. It was really your fault, and maybe you were really selfish and maybe you really had some curse on you — that’s why EJ and Heeseung turned out this way.

Walking across the hall to check on EJ once again, he was the only one left, the only one you couldn’t bear to leave due to the fact that he had no one beside him now just like you. Fear mixed along with guilt inside you, you were now afraid that what if he’s going to stay like this forever? You can’t bear it if that ever happens, the life of those two boys ruined because of you, if EJ also ended up like Heeseung, you don’t know if you could ever live your life peacefully from then on.

With your eyes on the ground as you pushed open the door, you were taken aback when your sight was met with two boys around EJ's age inside the room. Their expression mirrored yours as silence filled the room for quite 10 seconds contemplating who was going to talk first.

Not until the red-haired boy hurriedly approaches you, making you jolt in surprise, "I didn't know EJ had a girlfriend!"

"Eh!? No I'm not-"

"EJ has a girl!?" You snapped your head at the overly dramatic dolphin scream from the boy at the doorway, covering his mouth in exaggeration with his left hand as his right hand was holding a cup of ice cream. "

"Oh my god, guys. Tone it down!" The dark blue-haired boy leaning against the wall beside the window growled, but his frowning face quickly turned into a small smile when he looked at you.

“EJ’s girlfriend?” he asked again with his palm softly gesturing at you and you immediately shook your head.

“No! He’s my friend.” your eyes fell on EJ who was still unconscious, making your heart sink in sadness, but the boy spoke again taking your attention back to him.

“Oh, that’s weird. He never told us.” He shrugged, seemingly in disbelief that they didn’t know about it. His response makes you curious, what’s so weird that EJ has a friend besides them? The boy immediately caught on through your expression and he let out an awkward laugh.

“Ah sorry, we haven’t introduced ourselves right? Call me Yeonjun.” he winked at you, and the red-haired boy beside you spoke.

“Hi! I’m Beomgyu. B to the E to the O to the M-”

“Just quit it, hyung!” The taller black-haired boy smacks him on his head, earning a few mutters of curses from Beomgyu.

“Nice to meet you!” The boy extended his hand to you and you quickly take it, and he playfully shook your hand. “My name’s Hueningkai! Hyuka or Kai. What’s your name?”

“O-oh call me (Name). Nice to meet you Kai.” you smiled, the warmth from his hand instantly soothes you which was weird. Was it because of his innocent smile, or was it because of how he was welcoming towards you?

“That’s a very beautiful name you got, no wonder EJ-”

“Shut up, Beomgyu. Can’t you shut your mouth for once?”

“You don’t own my mouth. Bleh.” Beomgyu sticked his tongue at Yeonjun, their quarrel somehow made you let out a small giggle. It was comforting to say the least, because it reminds you and your sister back then. You were about to feel sad again but you immediately ignored it, not wanting to ruin your mood once again.

“Where are the others by the way?” Yeonjun asked from behind you, making your ears perk up.

“Oh, they're checking on Heeseung hyung.” Kai answered.

What? What is he saying? Did they know him?

The red-haired boy Beomgyu tilted his head at your surprised expression, “Why don’t you visit Heeseung too?”

“Oh? H-heeseung?” you rubbed your head in small circles, “Who is that? I don’t know him.”

“Ah sorry, I thought you knew Heeseung since you’re friends with EJ. But it’s fine, it doesn’t always work that way I guess. But!-” he approached you happily, quickly taking your hand in his which surprised you, he then took out a small piece of paper and placed it on your hand, “We have a concert this upcoming week, it would be so good if you could come!”

“Concert? What is?” The small piece of paper was actually a ticket, and there it was written.

‘ROCK CONCERT on September 16

'APPLY NOW TO SEE YOUR ‘EYE CANDY’

“EYE CANDY is our rock’s band name, we’re quite popular underground and isn’t the name so damn cool?” Beomgyu smiled so wide as if he was so proud of it, “We’re a freaking rockstar!”

It was only now that you noticed the guitar cases leaning against the wall behind him.

“EJ was supposed to perform with us but it’s really unfortunate that this happens..” Beomgyu’s face fell, along with the other two. “But it’s fine, we’re going to perform our best for him.”

—

After what seems like eternity, a smile finally adorns your face as you as you walk across the street with the ticket in your hand, going back to Chaeryeong’s apartment. A sense of relief engulfed your being that EJ wasn’t actually alone, even though his family had abandoned him, he had a group of friends that cared alot about him and Beomgyu’s words makes you wanna burst into tears, partly because you were happy and partly because no one’s going to say that to you again.

But it’s okay, you should be happy for EJ. At least, he wasn’t entirely alone like you were right now. Wiping off the tears from your eyes as you let out a shaky laughter, playfully raising your legs a bit higher while you were walking, and there your best friend came in sight with her hands on his hips.

“The fuck! Yah, (Name)! Why aren’t you answering my call!? You’re making me worried for nothing!” her frowning face and her exaggerated pout makes her look like a duck, making you burst into small laughter with tears in your eyes, but part of it was you can’t believe yourself. How did you even forget?

You weren’t actually alone.

—

Eyes shoot open, and with that the brown-haired boy pushes himself up from the bed, surprising the nurse who was arranging the stuff on the desk. Ripping the tape and clips off his hands despite the protests of the nurse, bringing his bare feet on the floor as he struggles to keep his balance while trying to walk out ofthe room.

“(Name)! Where is she?” EJ asked with rapid breathing, in which the nurse shook her head in confusion. “No.. where’s he? That son of a bitch.”

“Lee Heeseung.”

—

It was another typical cold day with a strong breeze flowing past your hair as you fixed the strap of your bag as you went to the hospital again to check on EJ, but somehow you felt a sudden chills creeping onto your neck which weirded you out. Was it because of the chilly weather? You think so, that’s why you were rubbing your arms in hopes to ease it, but the uneasy building up in your chest wasn’t helping however you ignored it.

“Why am I feeling this way?” Shaking your head, you went inside the hospital’s entrance and went up the stairs till it led you to the countless hallways and rooms surrounding you. Soft murmurs, footsteps rushing and the sound of trolleys dragging on the floor filled the entire space as you went on your way to EJ’s room, passing Heeseung’s room that was just a few rooms away.

A figure spotted you from the distance and approached you hastily as she harshly grabbed your arm and spun you around. You were about to get mad at the person but the sight made your breath hitch. “What are you doing here?”

“Unnie..” you let out a shaky breath.

—

With one swift push, the door to the room opens revealing Heeseung on the bed who has now woken up due to the loud creaking of the door.

Their eyes met.

“E- EJ?..”

EJ immediately went to him, pulling Heeseung with his collar again. “Die? I won’t die that easily.”

Heeseung’s eyes widened in confusion, “W-what are you saying?"

And with that response, EJ’s face contorts into disbelief, “You’re still pretending!? You piece of shit!?”

He harshly pulled Heeseung, pushing him on the floor.

“Stand up!” EJ pulled his sleeve, but Heeseung couldn’t get up on his feet in which he furrowed his eyebrows.

“I-i can’t walk!” Heeseung gritted his teeth.

“Fuck, another lie!? Aren't you tired of lying?”

“Why do you keep saying that? What’s wrong with you!?”

“Fuck, then let’s see how far you can take this shitty lie of yours.” EJ spat out.

—

“I thought you don’t want to stay in this hospital again, so what are you doing here?” she scoffed.

“N-no. I’m- I’m here too..” you try to think of what to say but then your eyes widen when you observe your sister’s face; fresh scratches from the left of her cheek and on her right arm, closing in the distance between you and her without much thought, “Unnie, w-what happened? The scar-”

She hits your hand away as her eyes filled with nothing but hatred, “Don’t touch me, stop acting like you care.”

“But who hurt you, Unnie!?”

“Just fucking stop it! When did you even care, huh?” Chaewon scoffed, “You were just pretending all this time aren’t you?” she hit your shoulder with her finger.

“No! Of course not! Why are you saying that?”

“Because if you care about me, if you care! Then you won’t try to fucking ruin my life! And especially Heeseung’s!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.

You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes once again as you murmured “..why do you keep blaming me?”

“Then who the fuck should I blame!?”

Jungwon who was walking across the hallway saw the entire commotion and quickly rushed to her side, gripping her arms “Chaewon, stop! People are looking!” then he took a quick look at you, “And you can’t treat (Name) like this, she’s still your sister!” he whispered-yelled, but Chaewon roughly pulled her arm away from his grip.

“Sister? You? Well then, I’m so fucking embarassed that you were even my sister in the first place.”

And that made your heart clenched in pain as you yelled at her, “Why do you have to be so cruel to me!?”

She roughly pushes you backwards with her hands, “How about you ask yourself that!?”

—

“Yah, you motherfucker.” EJ drags him across the hall till they reached the stairs, gripping Heeseung’s collar as he slightly pushes him on the edge “Let's see how far you can take your fucking lies.”

“EJ! No! Stop!” Heeseung’s rapid breathing echoes through the stair as he struggles to gain his balance with his feet just a few inches away from the edge.

"I trusted you. I fucking trusted you! Now you can't fool me, I know you're making up lies like you did back then!"

“L-lies? What did I say to you? What are you saying!?"

"Are you that shameless to keep pretending!? What are you even getting from this, Heeseung!?"

"I really don't fucking understand you!!" Heeseung cried out, desperately trying to hold onto EJ's hands in his collars.

"Don’t you remember that a random car suddenly appeared and hit us both!?"

"You think I didn't know that!? Fuck, you clearly wanted me dead that day!"

“What the hell is wrong with you? I really don’t understand what you are trying to say! Yes we fought back then but that was it! Why the fuck I would want you death? For what!?"”

“Quit lying! You bastard! You showed your true self that day, I fucking remember it so don’t you think you can fool me over this!”

“I really don’t know EJ!” Heeseung shakes his head as he bawls in tears, gritting his teeth. "I really, really don't know what you're talking about.."

"You fucking know me.. We've always been good friends so why, why would I think of doing something bad to you?" Heeseung pressed his eyes shut, crying in pain.

And with that, EJ began to hesitate, his eyes wandering around the place trying to remember the day of the car crash, he was sure Heeseung said something. He was fucking sure with it.

But why? Why? This boy’s eyes welling up in tears in front of him, with guilt evident on his face, it really seems like he was really telling the truth.

He shook his head, eyeing Heeseung again, “But that still won’t change the fact that you made that disgusting deal.”

“For fuck’s sake! Where did you even hear that!?”

“I heard it from them! They fucking told me that you all had that disgusting deal on Chaewon! I really can’t believe it. The moment those words came out from their fucking mouth, I really can’t believe it Heeseung! Are you even human!?”

“God! Don’t tell me you believe them? You know those guys often fool around!” Heeseung’s eyebrow furrowed as if he couldn't believe what he had heard.

“Do you really believe that I am capable of doing such a thing to Chaewon?”

Silence.

EJ starts to contemplate once again. Blinking endlessly trying to make sense of what Heeseung said, was he really in the wrong for believing the guys so quickly? Was it true that he followed his emotions and made a reckless decision by blaming Heeseung?

“You know very well I love her,” shaking his head in disbelief, “And you know I would do anything to protect her..”

EJ hesitates, the anger in his face slowly falters and the grip on Heeseung’s collars starts to loosens.

"You really didn't do anything?.." he asked Heeseung again wanting to make sure of it.

Heeseung nodded desperately, and with that EJ looks down, "What happened to me?.."

But then a low chuckle emits from the boy’s mouth in front of him. In shock, he raised his head seeing Heeseung chuckling in amusement.

“Yah.” the innocent and guilty expression that was once on his face was now replaced with the same amusement EJ saw back then that day, “Don't tell you actually believe that? Wah, you’re really easy to manipulate, EJ..”

Heeseung hiccups with a spine-chilling laughter emitting from his mouth as he slowly looks up to gaze at EJ, tears in his eyes. “What a hassle you didn’t die that day, I guess the car didn’t hit you too hard then?”

“Fuck. Shall I call them to do it again then? Cuz I don’t mind.” Heeseung smiles widely with an amused expression.

Speechless, EJ couldn't think of anything to say as anger consumes him again,"Just what happened to you, Heeseung!?" He punched Heeseung, making him fall on the floor.

“You know I took you into our band back then not because I pity you, but because I really wanted to be your friend..” Heeseung wipes the blood off his mouth as he looks up to EJ, lazily glaring at him, “-but you really have to just ruin it by pulling this bullshit.”

“Had I known your true nature, I would’ve never joined that shitty band of yours. What the fuck is wrong with your head!?” EJ yelled at the top of his lungs as he pulled Heeseung with his collars again, putting him on the edge of the stairs.

“What the heck happened to you!? You weren’t like this before!”

Then out of nowhere, they both heard the commotion from the distance, you and your sister. Heeseung looks at the distance from where you and your sister were, and then back at EJ once again.

—

“I fucking hate you!” she harshly shoved your shoulders with her hands as you fell backwards once again, trying to gain your balance while with tears welling up in your eyes.

“What did you do!?”

“Unnie stop! Why do you keep blaming me for everything!?” you cried out.

With a scoff escaping from your sister’s mouth, “Then who should I blame? Who!? Headaches!? Bitch, you brought this on yourself. You took drugs and all? And you blame us all!?”

“Because of how selfish you are, this happened!” She harshly pointed at you and then at the footage playing on the screen. “What else do you want? What else!? Why was I so dumb to even-”

“Chaewon, just stop please!” Jungwon exclaimed desperately, pulling Chaewon away from you.

—

“Chaewon? (Name)?” EJ was surprised to hear your voice from the distance, and Heeseung rolled his eyes at your name coming out of his mouth.

“Yah.”

“It’s pissing me off that you’re trying so hard to be righteous..” Heeseung murmurs in which EJ looks at him again with his jaw clenching.

“...But would they still see you the same way after this?”

EJ’s eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

And with that Heeseung yelled at the top of his lungs, mimicking a scared expression that was quickly replaced with a shit-eating grin, “EJ! Let me go! Please!”

"Ch-chaewon! Help!"

The three of you instantly snapped your head at the loud voice from the distance. “Heeseung?”

EJ's eyes widened, panic creeped it's way into his veins as he exclaimed, "What the fuck are you-"

Within a split second, everything happens too fast when Heeseung roughly pushes him off which makes his tight grip on the boy’s collar loosens as his body falls backwards, groaning in pain when his back hits the floor, but the realisation hits him as Heeseung was nowhere to be seen. And with that he quickly crawled to the edge of the stair and his expression was quickly replaced with horror.

“Wait! No!”

And then the door behind him swiftly opens, revealing Chaewon, Jungwon and you rushing in to see the commotion. As soon as your eyes laid on EJ, a huge wave of relief passed over you but it was soon replaced with horror painted on your face as your sight was met Heeseung under the stairs, writhing in pain as blood dripping out from his leg, cries of his pain echoed throughout the stair as you can’t bring yourself to move, only observing as Chaewon rushes down the stairs to go for Heeseung’s aid.

“Heeseung!” Jungwon exclaimed and then he noticed EJ, “EJ! You’re awake!?”

“Heeseung! Oh my god! What happened!?” Chaewon’s hand shakes as it comes in contact with the heavy blood spots on Heeseung’s legs. “What did you do!?”

“I didn’t do anything!” EJ shook his head vigorously, “I swear I didn’t do anything!”

“He fucking did that to himself!”

“Are you hearing yourself!?” Chaewon stood on her feet, glaring at him.

“It’s not me! I swear! (Name)!” tears threatening to come out of his eyes as he pleads to you to believe in him.

“I’ll call the nurse!” Jungwon rushed out and a few moments later multiple nurses rushed in and inspected Heeseung’s wounds, he was then sent back to the room with all four of you following behind. Chaewon ruffled her hair in anger as she shuffled around the hallway, then she turned around glaring at EJ who was behind you.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” she yelled at him.

“Why did you push him!? What were you fucking planning EJ!?”

“It’s not me!” he shook his head vigorously, “He pushed me and he-.. And he-”

“I’ll fucking report you to the police.” She pulled out her phone instantly, making your and EJ’s eyes widened.

“It’s really not me!” EJ exclaimed, then he looked at Jungwon who was leaning against the wall, “Jungwon, you know I would never do that!”

But Jungwon kept quiet avoiding his gaze, he did feel pity towards you and EJ but it wasn’t really his business in the first place and so he can’t do anything.

“No! Unnie!” she yanks your arm away as you protest, “Don’t do it please! We don’t know what happened yet!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“You!” she pointed at you harshly, “You’re no different, either! You’re the reason why Heeseung almost died that day! Both of you, goddamnit!”

“H-how did you?”

“You think I won’t know? I saw the surveillance footage, and I fucking saw you and EJ with Heeseung! Why were you bringing my sister? What were you two doing together, huh!? And because of you two, Heeseung can’t ever walk again!”

“What?” you froze. “W-what are you saying, unnie?”

“Heeseung can’t walk again because of you two! You ruined his life! I don’t fucking know how long it will take but if he could never walk again then i’ll get back at you and make you pay. Fucking stick that in your mind. Just get lost, im fucking begging you. Get lost, get out of my sight. Don’t ever show your face again, you’re nothing but an annoying pest here!” She spat out at you, her eyes red due to tears and her jaw clenched as she turned around ruffling her hair in rage.

Sniffing as your lips tremble, “I-i..” feeling more guilty than ever before. Because of you, Heeseung was now?

“I fucking hate the both of you. You, Heeseung took you in despite how fucking poor you are! All because he thought of you as a friend, and then you betrayed him?” she scoffed in disbelief, “We all thought you really change, but how funny it was-”

“You are so dumb, aren’t you!?” EJ scoffed with tears in his eyes, “You really don’t fucking know who really cares for you and who don’t?”

“Then tell me who the hell should I trust? Definitely not you two,” she gestured at you both back and forth, “Liars. What I’ll call you two are liars.”

You couldn’t say anything as everything you heard today was too much for you, hanging your head low with embarrassment and guilt whilst clenching your fists. EJ noticed when he looked at you, and he blinked back his tears as he sniffed.

“Then go ahead, go ahead and report us. Me and your sister, you hate us that much don't you?” he grabbed your arm, pulling you with him and away from Chaewon but not before halting his steps and taking one last look at her, “You’ll regret this, you’ll really regret this Chaewon.”

—

You finally burst into tears while EJ was pulling you out from the hospital, the sunrays falling on you both and the strong breeze flowing past through your hair at least comforting for you but for EJ who was already so pissed, it only made him more annoyed as his jaw clenched at the sound of your cries behind him.

“Stop crying! What are you even crying for?” he turned his torso to look at you with his eyebrows knitted together.

With tears in your eyes, you softly murmured “Heeseung.. Because of us, this happened to him.”

“For god’s sake, are you all dumb? He can walk! I saw him, he can fucking walk! He’s fooling you and your sister!”

“If he can then he won’t fall on the stairs, EJ!”

“He let himself fall, he’s making it seem like I pushed him for god’s sake!”

“EJ! I trust you that you didn’t push him but Heeseung would never do that!”

“Don’t tell me you trust him after all he has done to you? What the fuck happen? Did you actually believe what he said that day!?” EJ gritted his teeth, “He was fucking drugging you!”

“If he did then why was I having a headache again!?”

“What?”

“EJ, it’s impossible. The meds aren’t drugs, if it was then I wouldn't be so sick that day!”

“Fuck, no. I saw him! I really saw him with the nurse!!”

“Why are you so adamant in blaming him!?” you yelled at him, shaking your head as you were starting to doubt why he was insisting about Heeseung’s faults. “I thought he was your friend?”

“It’s because he was fooling me and Chaewon. Are you fucking dumb like your sister too!?”

“Then why didn’t you tell me what happened between you and my sister?”

Silence.

“I didn’t think it was necessary.”

“Not necessary!?” you scoffed.

“It’s not important (Name)! All I wanna do is save her! What was I supposed to do? Just stay silent and do nothing!?”

“Why not? You could’ve told me, so I know! Why? Was it because you’re planning something against them? Were you lying to me all this time?” you pointed at yourself as your mouth trembled.

“What are you even talking about!? That was never my intention! Why are you making it about me now?!”

You shook your head, tears had run dry on your cheeks, “But how can I be sure that you weren’t using me against my sister and Heeseung!?”

“You and your sister are getting yourself fooled by that motherfucker! You know what? I’m fucking tired, i’m done.” EJ clenched his fists as he started to walk away.

“Where are you going!? You haven’t recovered yet!” You rushed to grabbed his arms but he roughly pushes your arms away.

“Why do you even care?” He raised his eyebrows, “Stop showing like you care, it’s so fucking obvious that you like Heeseung in the first place that’s why you can’t bring yourself to trust me.”

You froze, as he scoffed in disbelief seeing your expression, “Why? You didn’t think I notice? Why the fuck I even ask you in the first place?” he stormed off leaving you behind and alone on the street as you did nothing to stop him.

Looking down to your shoes as your tears drenched the material, was it your fault that you had feelings for Heeseung? Was it your fault that you didn’t know who to trust?

—

That was the last time you’ve met EJ.

It has been awhile since you visited EJ or Heeseung, troubles often happen whenever you’re around and at some point, you somehow believe it was because of you that’s why mess happens. Staring into the space as you rested against the wooden wall, it seems like everything you do often always turns to a mess, and that alone was enough to make you stay in this small room and never show your face to them again forever. Clenching the phone on your hand, the apology text on the screen you were planning to send to EJ but you couldn’t. Should you send it?

A knock on the door snaps you out of your head, as it slowly opens revealing Chaeryeong walking over to sit beside you. “You can’t keep yourself here forever, (Name).”

You kept silent.

“Is there something happening to you that I’m not aware of? You know you can tell me anything, we’re friends right?”

Silence again, but you eventually confide in her, telling her everything that happened from the day of the party till the incident in the hospital, excluding the whole texting part and drugs because you don’t want to really put her in a situation where she would potentially be in danger. You can only observed as her face contorts in every detail of your story and her first reaction when you were finally done was..-

“The fuck!? Has Chaewon gone mad!?” her jaw dropped in disbelief, clenching her fists exaggeratingly in the air, “That’s not a fucking excuse to treat you like that what the fuck? Nah, it’s official, your sister is crazy.”

You let out a low chuckle at her expression, but you were still down and she notices that as she strokes your hands with hers.

“You can’t keep letting your sister treat you like that. Just who the hell does she think she is? Okay I get it that she’s mad but she’s gone too overboard.”

Sniffing as you slowly wiped off the tears threatening to come out from your eyes, “I don’t know..”

“And about that EJ and Heeseung thingy, I don’t really know but don’t you think that EJ guy is sussy as fuck? Don’t get me wrong, but even if Heeseung did do something.. That doesn’t mean that EJ guy is clear too, right?”

“Also it annoys me alot that he only went to you because of, pfft..” Chaeryeong rolled her eyes, “Chaewon? Really?”

“I’m not really sure, the thing is I really don’t know who’s telling the truth.. Both of them still protected me in different ways, but each one of them were telling a different story that I couldn’t really, really tell who the hell is telling the truth.”

Your best friend sighed, “Then if you still struggle in who to believe, why don’t you decide which one you should apologise to?”

“Huh?”

“You know, which one of them you felt the most guilty to? I don’t know, but you’re the one to decide (Name). Choose wisely though, should it be the guy who was by your side despite your shitty sister and parents? Or the guy who actually went to you just for your sister?’

—

Darkness engulfed the entire sky, with the sounds of the chirping birds dying down and was replaced with cicadas echoing throughout the night. The spectator of the beautiful night sky laid rest on the bed with his arms crossed on his head, and a small smirk adorning his beautiful face. He sat up for a moment and placed his right hand on his legs, and caressed it gently, “What an idiot.” his low chuckle filled the dark space of his room, with the moonlight illuminating at his face.

Then he lazily gazed at the door, “Finally you’re coming. Took you quite long, love.” he laid on the comfort of his pillows again with his back facing the door.

After checking the hospital’s entrance for sometime in hopes to avoid your sister, you finally went in and your faint footsteps echoed across the dark hallway, with your heart beating ever so loudly inside your chest. WIth Chaeryeong’s words ringing in your head, the only one you could think of was him, Heeseung. Despite how guilty you felt for EJ as well, there was just this undeniable feeling that pulled you toward Heeseung and so you decided to go visit him and apologise to him because you couldn’t bear the guilt and the emptiness inside you. You wanted to go and feel his warmth against yours again, his hands gently stroking your hair like he used to and the encouraging words he often says to you whenever you're down, like had always done for you when no one did.

You miss him.

“Eins.” he softly counted as you brought your foot ahead after another, “Zwei.”

“Drei.” and then up to the stairs, moving past the corners of the walls.

“Vier.” you observed as the lights from each room illuminated on the floor, and the soft murmurs from the people inside it.

Your hands started to become sweaty as you were getting closer to his room, and so you tried to rub it against the material of your shirt.

“Fünf.”

“Sechs.” Heeseung giggled, heart jumping in excitement as you finally halted your steps, standing in front of his door and you slowly raised your hand on the doorknob, and the see-through circle of the door gave you a clear sight of Heeseung sleeping soundly on the bed with his back facing you. You gulped, afraid of meeting him, afraid that he might not accept you anymore nor forgive you for not believing in him. Breathing through your nose, you can’t back out now, you were already here so you must do it and so your hand slowly pulls the door open, the creaking sound fills the room.

“Sieben.” Heeseung finishes the last number in his mind as your feet slowly brings itself closer to the bed, and to him. Your faint breath, and the sound of every step you took exhilarates him and the scent of yours just made him wanna stand up right now, pull you into his arms and kiss you. He chuckled at the thought, he had been meticulously planning this entire time, being patient and acting kind and all — and so, just a few more minutes would do, because he won’t be doing it — but you, who unknowingly crawls it way back to the claws of his insanity called ‘love’. It was quite easy, actually, that it baffles him because despite how smart you were at the beginning or how attentive and alert you were — in the end, you were just a little girl with a strong anchor called family, and it wasn’t so hard for him to pull those anchor away from you. Mercilessly strays them farther away from you till you had no one but him to depend on, till the last of the strings of your mind breaks and so just like that — it works as you were now finishing the rest of the job yourself, unknowingly and finally sealing your fate with him.

He pretends to be asleep as you finally open your mouth, “Heeseung?”

“I’m really sorry for doubting you back then, I’m really sorry Heeseung.” you spoke once again, then you paused for a moment, trying to think of words to say not wanting to make things worse than it was. But how funny it was, that whatever you say, he’ll gladly accept it since the only thing he wants was for you to be here, and that was exactly what you did.

“I-i’m sorry that I doubted you back then..” you paused once again as you pressed your lips tighter, “It wasn’t my intention, I just didn’t really know who to believe but I know that’s not an excuse that’s why I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you couldn’t walk again because of me, I’m sorry for betraying you despite how you stayed by my side all this time, I really didn’t mean to. Now thinking back, you were really the only one who believed me, and not my family..” you wiped off the tears from your cheeks as you look down to your feet, “It’s so fucking painful that my own family wasn’t there for me, but you were there for me. It was you all this time, so I’m really sorry Heeseung.”

And with that, Heeseung turns to you, making your teary eyes widened as he softly pulls you towards his chest and his arms wrapping itself around your body. “Don’t say sorry, I understand you. Didn’t I always say, I’ll always be there for you no matter what and that I’ll protect you and believe you no matter happen? So hush now, and never forget this.."

“if it’s for you, I’d do anything”

You bawled in tears as the words left his mouth, and the only thing you can only think of is it was warm. His body against yours was warm, his words were so heart-warming that it eventually melts down the cold freezing days of your life.

“You know, I don’t blame you so you don’t have to say sorry okay?”

You hugged Heeseung, his warm embrace engulfing your being — giving you the sense of home and serenity as you closed your eyes to dwell in it more, just for a bit more.

“Hush, it's okay.” your head lays on his chest as his other hand gently strokes your hair, “I don’t blame you.”

As you smile in content after hearing that, a small smirk appears in Heeseung’s lips as he plants a small kiss on your head. ‘Sweet, sweet, love. Why do you think your beloved sister and parents refuse to ever believe in you? It’s amusing actually, I just threw small petty lies here and there and they were so quick to believe in it that I had to stop myself from laughing..’

And just like that, you found yourself often coming back to Heeseung’s arms. Secretly visiting and spending time with him, at times you felt guilty because your sister doesn’t know about it but now it wasn’t one of your concerns because Heeseung himself tells you that he was delighted to spend the day with you since he was bored and stuff. However, no matter how you tell yourself otherwise, you know you can’t convince yourself that you weren’t falling for him harder than ever before. Every single day, every hour and minute was spent with him, and it was like your life wasn’t yours anymore if he wasn’t in the view.

There are days when you have those thoughts where you just want to do more than you should with him, something you should never do against your sister and that thought alone — when you realise it, made you wanna slap yourself. Still it saddens you sometimes when you peek through the door and finds Heeseung being so loving and caring towards Chaewon when they’re together.

But how foolish were you when that was only one of Heeseung’s tactics.

With the bright smile on your face, you brought the flower pot back in the hospital again as you walked across the halls and into Heeseung’s room in which his eyes widen at the sight of the object in your hands, and you happily told him that you wanted to do the same thing for him as he did to you in which he manages to put on a bright smile like yours and a few thanks leaving his mouth.

But unknowingly to you, when you excuse yourself to meet Chaeryeong for the day — with so much ease, he get up on his feet as he walk towards the window and took the pot in his hands, throwing it out from the window, watching it as it fell on the ground scattering all its contents. And when you come back, he puts on his usual sad face as he tells you that the nurses took it away, which you couldn’t believe at first because they never took it away when it was in your room.

But as always, he managed to adorn his words with beautiful lies and seemingly believable words as you believe in him once again, as always.

—

It felt like months, but actually it was only for a few weeks as the doctors had let him stay at home for further recovery and Heeseung's family and Chaewon were more than delighted to hear the news.

Heeseung could only roll his eyes in the back of his mind as he had to use the wheelchair, continuing his acts as a disable person in front of them until everything was completely done. But that could mean he'll have less chances to meet you now that he had to stay at home all the time.

But luck seems to be at his side as his family had went out for the day leaving only the caretakers with him, and after receiving a call from Chaewon that she has extracurricular activities for the day and of course not forgetting to say sorry and ilys and that she'll be back as soon as she can.

It's not like he cared, he never cared and he doesn't care even one bit of Chaewon didn't come. What he wanted was you, and as if luck was at his side, you came.

Genuine smile adorning his face because of you who were now beside him, in his arms as you gently helped him on the couch after he get rid of the caretakers, and watching you as you went to the kitchen preparing food for him.

“I’m actually not hungry..” Heeseung awkwardly smile when you walked over to him with the plate on your hands.

“Then why the hell you told me to prepare food for you!?” You frowned, placing the dish on the table a bit loud as you placed your hands on your hips.

“Just so-so..”

"God, you gotta stop fooling me or else-" you yelp as your foot accidentally hits the legs of the table, making you almost fall to your face on the ground if not because of Heeseung pulling you and that results in you falling on him.

"Ah sorry, sorry." you muttered as you try push yourself up but your legs slipped making you dropped into his chest again.

"Ugh sorry!" You looked up to him and then it hit you, reality dawns on you as you realised how your face was only a few inches away from his and that alone was enough to make you gasped, and the fact that his lips almost brush against yours.

You could’ve stood, you could’ve pulled yourself away from his body but you didn’t — you stayed, with your knees on his sides and your arms and hands on his chest, gripping the material of his shirt. You looked into his tender eyes that were slightly covered with strands of his hair as it bewitches you once again like it did back then in your sister’s birthday party.

Wait. Sister. Your sister.. What are you doing right now? You shouldn’t be doing this.

However, it's so hard to get up as your eyes gaze upon his red soft lips, making your thoughts run wild of how it would feel against yours. He’s so beautiful just like he always did, but this time, the sun rays reflecting on his face and on his wet orange lips made you feel all kinds of feelings, his face was sculpted so perfectly that you want nothing but to caress it, to feel his soft skin against your hand. His lips, you wonder what it tastes like? How complete would you feel once you do it, or how happy you would feel if you bring yourself to do it.

Heeseung was exhilarated at the intimate proximity you two were in right now, was it the time? He knew he should push you away right now since his plan wasn’t done yet, but how could he when he already had you so close and so fragile above him? Anyone could walk in anytime right now and that would probably ruin his plan and he needs to start all over again because of it but that was only if you had a change of heart, but it doesn’t seem the case when you can’t even pull yourself away from him.

In that moment, it felt like it was only the two of you in this world for Heeseung that he would just capture your lips within his and devour you completely, however he waits, not wanting to make a wrong step by making the first kiss.

You gulped, mind getting fogged with logics and emotions, hands sweaty as you clenched his shirt and then it happened — it happened so quick, that you couldn’t process much of what had happened but only feeling his soft lips dancing against yours, biting and sucking all over your neck and back again to devouring your lips, only pulling away for a short breath and only in that moment you notice his darkened eyes and his fucked up expression while his hands gripped your hips, putting you in place just so he can bring his lips into yours again.

It felt so good to kiss the guy you love, even though it felt so wrong because he was your sister's boyfriend, it felt so wrong and sinful.

And yet, as always — the bad outweighs the good.

You flinched when you heard a loud thud of an object from the distance, and when you pulled away from Heeseung's lips turning around to see the source of the noise, your heart sank as you were met with the sight of your sister who was utterly shocked over what she saw.

Heeseung’s eyes widened. “C-chaewon..”

“W-what you-” her mouth trembles as she tries to get the words out but seems to fail in doing so as tears start to well up in her eyes and hatred evident in it. Trying so hard to process what she had just witnessed, and then it finally sank in.

She rushes towards you, pulling you away from Heeseung. “What the fuck were you thinking!?” clenching your shirt in her fingers as her eyes was filled with hatred and anger.

“Chae! No!” as much as Heeseung wanted to pull you away from Chaewon, he couldn’t. His plan of pretending to be paralyzed would fail. He could only hope that you would leave as fast as you can so you wouldn't get hurt by Chaewon.

“Why? How dare you!? How can you do this to me!? What kind of a sister are you?” she scoffed in disbelief with tears flowing down her cheeks.

“You never change! Just like you fucking did back then when we were young, you were still the fucking same!” Chaewon screamed at the top of her lungs, thrashing you around. “Why are you doing this!? Why do you want us all to suffer!?"

"I fucking cared for you but you did this to me? With my boyfriend?! You’re destroying every bit of trust I had in you, (Name)!”

She bawls in tears, "Why?!! (Name)? Why are you doing it again!? Why are you ruining everything I have!?"

Silence.

Only the cicadas’ cries and the sound of birds chirping was heard throughout that moment. The warm breeze from the window passed through the both of you, as dejavu hit you, realising the horrible fight you had with your sister four years ago happens once again.

History repeats itself, once again.

And you finally opened your mouth, "But the difference is, it wasn't only me."

"H-huh?"

"Why are you only blaming me, Unnie?" Letting out a small chuckle with your face in disbelief, “Your boyfriend won’t kiss me back if he cares so much about your so-called relationship."

"W-what the fuck are you trying to s-say?" Chaewon grits her teeth at your words.

"Isn't it so fucking obvious already? He already fucking kissed me. What are you still waiting for? Get lost. It's so fucking obvious that he likes me and not you." you spat out, and the strands of your hair weren't enough to cover the hatred-filled eyes of yours.

Both Heeseung and her was utterly shocked to their core when that words left your mouth.

"Yah.." Chaewon shakily breathes, "You whore!!"

Mess.

It was mess everywhere as Heeseung was baffled watching as you two were pulling each other’s hair making a huge mess in the living room;

The shit-eating grin that vaguely appears with his helpless voice begging you to both stop, "Chaewon! (Name)! Please stop! Stop!"

He had to actually stop himself from laughing as this, this is what he wanted. His plan was successfully working on its own before his very own eyes.

Screaming, sounds of slapping and lots of curses thrown at each other, the same red marks and scratches appearing again on your skin and your sister's like it did before. Everything was repeating again.

Your sister's skin was now bleeding with scratches from your nails, making her grit in pain but you didn't care as your face contorted into an immense anger, and wanting her to feel the pain you had all this time.

“All you fucking do since that day is you keep blaming!” Stomping your feet repeatedly on the floor, “---Blaming! Blaming! Blaming us! That’s all you think of! Don’t you know how it fucking hurts!?” blinking back your tears as your face has gone red by now.

"And well, guess what!? Your boyfriend is visiting me all this time! We fucking spend alot of time together and you have no fucking idea of it!!"

After what seemed like hours, it finally ended with Chaewon backing out with her hair a complete mess, faint blood dripping out from her mouth, scratches all over arms and neck and parts of clothing ripped apart. You were in the same state too, both of you panting.

Chaewon's lips tremble as her red, teary eyes glares at you and Heeseung. "Fucking traitors.." and then she stormed off, wild thoughts running in her head.

"Chaewon? Chaewon!!" Heeseung fell down from the couch, dragging himself on the floor as he tried to catch up with Chaewon with tears in his eyes — perfecting his persona of a paralyzed patient and a remorseful boyfriend in front of you.

"Heeseung! Just stop it!" You rushed over to him, wrapping your arms around his as you can't bear to see him this way. "Just let her go, please!"

"No but Chaewon!?" He bawls in tears, "This is wrong, (Name)!!"

Fuck. Heeseung could almost burst into laughter at how he was so into his acting.

"It's okay, it's okay.. You still have me, right? Right?" You gently pulled his head on your shoulder as he cries in pain and tears fell down on his cheeks, and unknowingly to you, a small smirk finds its way on his lips.

'You're finally mine..' he thought to himself.

You looked into the distance of where Chaewon had left and your heart aches at the thought of it, making you pressed your lips tightly. But it didn't matter now as you gently place your head against Heeseung's.

And just like that, unknowingly to him — he had fallen right into your trap.

—

Chaewon bawls in tears as she walked across the bridge, glaring at the sky and cursing whoever lives up there because if a deity even exists, then her life won't suck this much with her boyfriend and sister betraying her.

But it did.

And it was too much for her to take, the betrayal and the horrible sight has witnessed; it was too much and so she grips the rails, getting ready to climb up onto it not until a pair of arms pulled her away from the bridge, thrashing desperately out of the arms of whoever tries to stop her from taking her life away.

"Chaewon! Stop!" The brown-haired boy exclaimed desperately as he tried to keep Chaewon in place.

—

'I hope you are there now with unnie, EJ.' you thought as you softly stroke the boy's hair who was still crying.

The love of your life, your first love, the love that had provided you comfort and home in your winter months, something you appreciated with your whole heart and soul. He held you within his arms like you were so innocent and so fragile, and so you happily returned the favor.

So beautiful and so innocent, so helpless and so fragile that if you let it go, it would break and disappear into the air, almost as if it was like an angel whose wings were mercilessly rip away from him.. But almost it was, almost, almost..

Almost.

Since the beautiful angel letting out tears of pain in the comfort of your shoulders right now was none other than a fallen angel.

And your eyes that was filled with love a few mins ago are now replaced with hatred. Eyes narrowing contrary to the gentle strokes of your other hand on his arm, sighing through your nose as your lips curved into a sweet smile.

'Did you really think I'm that dumb to believe you?'

-> secondary blog: @llyzblog

-> taglist: @jjongsha , @skuiall , @jeonronwoo , @mimikittysblog , @zanyduckkitten

! ask or comment if you want to added to the taglist

309 notes · View notes

atopvisenyashill · 21 days

Note

Re your Bran ask. The amount of Key Five stans that think GRRM's intention is to make those five the Heroes of the Series and it's gonna be some found family-esque MCU dramedy where they all come together to defeat the others and then go on to plan Jon and Dany's wedding before having some double coronation among the cheering masses and everyone in Westeros falls at the feet of the Targ Regime is honestly fucking hilarious and baffling. This goes hand in hand with the Dany-Jon-Tyrion three heads of the dragon nonsense lmao.

They constantly praise GRRM for subverting tropes, but think he's going to play the Azor Ahai prophecy straight and think Dany and Jon will be unironic messianic figures/heroes. But for the other bitches and houses (especially Sansa or Aegon or Jaime, etc. who they hate) it's gonna be grimdark doom and gloom. Uhhh, yeah sure. Honestly these people should be happy these books never getting published because the meltdowns would be insane.

Imagine thinking GRRM isn't going to make these characters come into conflict with one another. It's not even about being an anti of any of these characters, it's about knowing basic storytelling narratives and what we've seen in the past five books, if you think there won't be angst, conflict, betrayals, etc. I genuinely don't know what to say.

the way this ask just got LOST in my inbox oh my god. anon if you're still around i'm so sorry lmao i do not know what happened.

but YES, i think i've used the word "naive" before as in, I think people are really banking on the sweet and not the bitter part of "bittersweet ending." I've seen people say that the later books are likely to be more "typical" or "straightforward" fantasy and it's like...why on earth would you think that? Everything he has said is pointing to continuing to do his shocking but well foreshadowed twists and turns and continuing to subvert tropes and expectations.

And yes, there's definitely like certain characters that the Key Five/Targ restoration/DJT Three Heads people will put all the "bitter" onand it's always so baffling and a lil telling that they just don't have the imagination to see a happier ending for Sansa, Bran, Brienne, Arianne, or Theon. I certainly have a tendency to dwell on the more "sweet" side of things for characters like Sansa, Arya, Brienne but a lot of that is because I'm just unsure of what the "bitter" aspect will be whereas I'm much more confident about the "bitter" aspect of characters like Dany, Bran, or Jon but I am fully confident that even with Sansa, Arya, and Brienne having some sort of power at the end, there will be a twinge of bitterness - I tend to go with "separated from their brothers" because that hits me right in heart but I'm sure George is gonna pull off something to make me insane and I will like it!! They will all have aspects of this one way or the other, not just a few characters! Sansa is not getting her head chopped off (WHY would this even happen. "Oh she committed treason" shut the hell your mouth she's not getting executed for Joffrey's death and she's not getting executed for *checks notes* giving a vague answer after she's pulled out of bed hungover and stressed out and asked to contradict the fucking crown prince can we be serious) because that's just objectively all bitter. Or that Aegon's death will be like, fine, no consequences, good even because he's just a pretender and nevermind that like, if the Blackfyre thing is true the kid's just been gaslit his entire life so how is any of this his fault?? It's why I waffle a lot on Dany's ending - I do think there will be something sweet for her there, if only for a moment, before her crown is taken from her but because that's so tied to politics, I'm a bit shaky on what it's going to be simply because the magical aspects make more sense to me.

I read fantasy not political thrillers or even a lot of historical fiction and I know I've bitched about all the "bran is annoying i hate magic" takes but at the same time that I find it annoying when the political fans will undersell the magic aspect or refuse to factor it into their theories, it's just as annoying when people insist that "the real enemy is the Others, politics is a distraction" it's not though! The political and the magical are intertwined and both of these aspects of the story will be subverted and played with in the end, it's not going to be a straightforward ending where Jon and Dany are both Azor Ahai and the Prince That Was Promised and this is indisputably a good thing and then they rule the seven kingdoms and it's all perfect. That is just not happening! We have it repeated over and over that magic and prophecy is tricky at best and untrustworthy at worst and Dany is spending all her time neck deep in prophecies and blood magic and yet this is somehow not going to have any affect on her psyche whatsoever and never mind that prophecy is what drove half her relatives crazy AND is actively driving Cersei, Stannis, and Melisandre insane. Arya has spent two full books in BRAAVOS of all places and yeah I DO in fact think that Arya living in the Free City known for rebelling against the Valyrians, serving the assassins guild that is heavily implied to have helped kick off the Doom of Valyria because of their hatred for slavery is in fact going to be relevant when she comes face to face with a Valyrian claimant who used blood magic and killed a slave in order to hatch her dragons.

Also cannot reiterate enough that George himself was deeply annoyed about the original outline getting leaked because his story has diverged massively from there and this "key five" thing is NOT APPLICABLE TO THIS STORY. It's no longer the story he's writing folks!!!

#anyways i agree it's dumb #i'm sticking to answering like two (2) serious asks every week so we'll get one more aldskjflkajds #and then that's IT #asks #anons #anti asoiaf fandom #anti key five #anti targ restoration

8 notes · View notes

softpine · 2 months

Text

@bb-enablefreebuild it's true, but asa says it himself, "I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have everything a person could want and a better family than some could ever imagine - but it’s not enough for me. I don’t know why. I want to be happy, but I don’t know how." it was important for me to include that part in there, because that has nothing to do with finn – well, only a little bit in that he knows he can come across as ungrateful given that his family is incredibly supportive and some people's families, like finn's, are the opposite. otherwise, this is entirely centered around asa's internal feelings. he's had depression nearly his entire life, it's just that when finn is around he's able to find reasons to take care of himself (going outside for long walks, sleeping regularly, paying attention in class because finn tells him to, taking his meds, etc.) and without finn there to ground him, asa is falling apart for more reasons than one. so yes it's the heartbreak of losing your first love, but it's more than that for him. it's losing the primary reason for living in the moment and looking forward to the future :(

he will be soooooooo pissed :( we'll have to wait and see if asa tells him the truth (or the full truth) about how he got to this point... especially after everything asa said in this post; he KNOWS finn wouldn't approve of any of his actions thus far, but he keeps digging his grave deeper and deeper because he's already gone too far, he's already broken finn's trust and he can't leave things like this now :(

that tag is so funny, i wasn't even referring to myself in Sim God terms i was just mad at him as if i'm a powerless reader like the rest of you jfkjsds and YEAH poor casper :( he'll come up in one of the next posts so i don't want to say too much, but the fact that his worst fear is missing out on something important while he's away, to the extent that he's calling constantly to check on his family is so..... :(

bro yes 🤭

thank you for sharing!! that makes complete sense to me and that's a really sweet way to incorporate your mom in that decision 🥺

RIGHT he needs the sense knocked into him fr

@forgotten-pixels ahhhh i love this question, i was JUST thinking about mac while i was making vegan chili mac the other day fjkjsds i'm actually going to save this in my inbox and take some pictures for you when i have the energy because i miss mac and honey too :') they're always hanging out in the same room while i'm taking screenshots, they just NEVER make it into any good pics. it's actually a curse i swear

i honestly have no idea, i'm sorry 😭 it'll probably be awhile though, i haven't been doing great tbh but i want the next post to look as good as it does in my head so i don't want to half ass it!!

@itsalwaysgonnabeher oh you caught that huh sjfkjsds don't worry (yet) 💖

@little-orphan-ant I'M SORRY 😭 i'm thinking brandi wtf at all times too lmao

omg okay so i'm saving this message in my inbox for later because i KNOW for a FACT that i listed everyone's favorite candy many years ago but tumblr's search function is so incredibly ass and i don't have the energy to keep searching for it right now but i will find it eventually i promise 🥺 and if not i'll just rewrite it and then when i inevitably find the original post we can compare my answers and see how well i know my characters' tastes fjksjds

absolutely yes i'm afraid 😌

in my head i still have to sound it out sometimes if it's been forever since i've typed her name fjksjds

@rebouks thank you so much 🥺🥺 the same goes to you!!! 💖

@moonfromearth thank you!! it's so sweet you thought of me ;-; 💗

#sorry i'm answering some of these so late #been fighting for my life in my brain lately and words are not coming easily 👍🏻#but it's been so long since i've had to break out the replies post :')#asks #anonymous #nonsims #brandi answers #moonfromearth #rebouks #bb-enablefreebuild #forgotten-pixels #little-orphan-ant #itsalwaysgonnabeher

16 notes · View notes

starcloud-nova · 10 months

Note

PLEASE ramble to me about your OCs I am 👀👀👀

Catla this ask has been sitting in my inbox for so long that it has gotten EMBARASSING but I will move past all that and take this opportunity you have given me. Thank u. This ended being 2k+ words and it’s late and I’m tired of half-assedly proofreading so I am putting it out into the world.

Some preface before we get into it (there are a lot of prefaces bear with me!): The story of my original OCs (just 2-3 characters) was “what if there was a character, and she was adopted by [character I am too embarrassed to name], and there was found family.” This was the end goal. Everything else was backstory. They started off as Marvel OCs, then BNHA, then Haikyuu, then Black Clover, then DC, before I finally decided that they were too far removed from any canon to fit into a preexisting story and finally made them just original characters.

By the time I hit DC OCs’, I decided I needed a team of people for my main OCs (siblings) to be friends and allied with, to juxtapose the batfam, so I created a plethora of OCs to go along with them. Suddenly we had a lot of characters, and I needed to thread them all together. I developed my own dynamics, backstories, and other details for all of these characters.

Instead of starting with an archetype or trope (hothead, scarecrow, hero, rebel, sunshiney, miserable, etc), I started with different events or moments in their lives. Essentially, I went backward, deciding key events before personality (kind of like how real life works…) This is what makes it so hard to describe my OCs to people. There isn’t just a set of keywords I can pull out of nowhere*, like “happy-go-lucky” or “angry” because they react differently in different situations. The only way to know the full range of my characters is to…know them.

*This is for most of my OCs. some of them I never developed as much, so they’re a little more black and white. Looking at you, Kicks.

That was a lot of ramble (it’s well past 1am as I write this) but to boil it down, the reason why i shared all of this information is this: My OCs are not ‘characters’ to me. They are people. They are so complex and have rich histories and aren’t just moodboards or aesthetics to me. And there’s no single plotline that I follow through either (more on this later**), because there is no overarching plot throughout their entire lives. Conflicts get resolved, or there are multiple at once, just like how someone can have both school and home life drama at once.

No, I don’t know their favorite songs, or movies, or colors, or what their ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ are. Yes, I know that Daiken would never ever speak to Brii again after everything, and he would definitely fight her if they ever met again, but he still picked up the phone when she called because he knew that she would only call him if it was important. And it was.

Sorry,. I am so normal abt my OCs. no one will read this post LMAO but . oh well. Already at 500 words and no sign of the end.

So the most basics are this:

For the sake of this post, ‘canon’ is at this point in time: Sachi Kojima (she) (16) lives with her three brothers, her twin Kazuki (he) (16), younger (half-)brother Kaito (he) (11), and elder brother Daiken (he) (21). Daiken is their legal guardian and took custody of them when he was 18, after The Incident™ when their severely abusive father (who was also a crimelord) was arrested. Her mother died when she was 4.

Remember that thing I mentioned about the crimelord? Yeah, so as it turns out [bear with me this is the least plausible part of the story] all of the local bigger criminals/crimelords in the area…participate in ‘bring your kid to work day’, like, most days. Yeah, yeah I know. All of the Criminals™ are lowkey training their kids to follow in their footsteps and take them with them to places but also leave them in this old ass conference room for hours at a time I DONT KNOW it doesnt sound plausible to me either. Anyways. Jokingly, this group of kids call themselves the ‘Junior Murderers Club’ and they fuck around and do a whole lot of Nothing and bond while their parents talk about crime and get drunk and shit. They also call themselves ‘Sixes’ because they’re either six inches away [from their parent] or six rooms away, unless they wanna be six feet under…haha.

This group of kids exists in the ‘pre-canon’ of the story (from when Daiken was 12-17) and consists of:

Daiken Kojima (he/him) (age 14 for reference)

Former team leader

Original codename: Moonstrike

Current codename: Redpoint

Maisie “Maze” Morian (she/her) (15) [deceased]

Codename: Freyja

Brielle “Brii” Hayes (she/her) (14)

Codename: Widow

Jacob Myers (he/they) (14)

Codename: Nightlight

James “Jamie” Moreno (he/him) (13) [deceased]

Codename: Piccolo

[Deadname] “Amelie” Espinosa (she/they) (12)

Original codename: Torito

Current codename: Mariposa

Lorena Inés “LS” Sauly (she/they) (12)

do NOT call her by her first name or they will kill u

Codename: Siren

[Deadname] “Kicks” Hall (they/them) (11)

Codename: Kicks

Daiken is one of the few people that can still get away with calling Kicks ‘KJ’, their old nickname derived from their deadname + their codename, Kicks.

Azarus “Azz” Adams (he/him) (10)

Codename: Merlin

Best friends w/Kazuki (currently 17), also hates his first name lol

They are all trauma buddies and went on missions together n stuff and they all mostly*** hated their parents. After Sachi + co. (her siblings) escape their situation, they all kind of break off, and eventually they form the Information League, or the IL, or just… no name at all because I’m still not satisfied with that one.

***EXCEPT Brii who was treated quite well by her father and was brainwashed/manipulated into believing that what they did was okay in some capacity. She is essentially Daiken’s narrative foil and I love her to death. She is the worst. Stupid gay bitch <3

One of the previous generations of Sixes is Perria Dawson (she/her, codename: Delphi), who is ten years older than Daiken (so in canon, 31) who watched silently from the shadows, collected information, and slowly worked her way out of the complicated network of crime that she was entrapped in to eventually Get Out. She specialized in information gathering and staying under the radar. The IL’s base is a warehouse that her father used to own but sorta kinda forgot about, so she took over it when she got away from him and made it HQ. Notably, it has a big open space with high ceilings that they call the Fly, short for flyspace, a few rooms out of the way (kind of hidden) that she lives in with her kids (see below) part-time, and high rafters with those criss-crossy metal ladder things that are a bunch of X’s and stuff.

In current canon, she’s a programmer or something like that and works a day job and while she’s cool with calls, everyone else feels bad for mooching off of her, so she’s Not to be disturbed during this time. She is my Deus ex machina. Anytime something goes Majorly wrong, someone always has to say the line “I’m calling Perria”.

Perria also has the habit of picking up strays lmao and later takes in Manha Latif (she her, codename: Trebleclef, 15 in canon), my little meow meow who was not a Six but had a much beloved older brother who disappeared after dealing with some fucked up shit, so she got a little toooo involved in the nightlife and the IL got involved and now she’s one of them. Her brother (Binyamin) is probably dead rip and during all of this mess, her mom goes back overseas to Pakistan and is currently living there, so Perria was like “yea dude I’ll take you in”, so she lives with Perria

A year and a half later, she adopts the strangest fuckin little kid who talks like an adult and doesn’t know her name and appears from the shadows when you call for her and oh shit she’s probably magic or something. When you let a six-year-old pick their own name they will generally pick shit like Andromeda (or Anna for short). They refer to her as ‘The Kid™’ or ‘Star’ in the field.

Other character info I didn’t mention:

Sachi’s codename is ‘Scapegoat’ to reclaim her identity as the childhood scapegoat, because “everything’s always my fault, isn’t that right? 🙄”

Kazuki’s and Kaito’s I am still not completely satisfied with. I have spent many walks home contemplating something that doesn’t sound like a 12 year old came up with but it is hard I tell you. Kaito doesn’t really go into the field much anyway because everyone is determined to not traumatize him anymore than he already is but the name I picked for him is Gear. Kazuki is Steel.

If anyone has suggestions, my criteria are that Kazuki’s starts with an S (to match his sister) and sounds somewhat physics-y or steampunk/cyberpunky. Kaito’s is so weird that anything works really but he likes animals and will probably be a vet so keep that in mind. Also reminder he is 11.

Now that most of my characters are out of the way it’s time to explain the **many plotlines that I have going on. When I come up with scenarios in my mind, they fit into the below categories. Essentially, if I wanted to actually sit down and tell the story of these kids, these are the options that I have.

One: The Early Days (2011-2019)

The abuse Daiken, Sachi, Kazuki, and Kaito faced at the hands of their father for 8 years. This is either from Sachi’s or Daiken’s point of view.

Sachi has the unique experience of being the scapegoat and most hated child and also only girl (which is important here as well as later****). Also goes into Sachi’s relationship with her best friends (Bianca/Bia (she), who she was probably in love with [or was she?] and Trey (he)), her twin, lying pathologically to all the adults in her life, her anger issues, and more.

Daiken has the experience of being the eldest child forced to look after his siblings while work alongside his father on missions and meeting people as well as maintain his grades to escape to medical school and a better future. He’s a lil parentified. Lol.

Two: Daiken as a Six (2013-2018)

Trigger warning for child death in this one.

The struggles that Daiken experienced before escaping his father at 18 (when he got arrested). This mainly focuses on how Brii is his narrative foil as well as goes into more detail on the missions he went on with LS and Jacob and Jamie and Azz. When Daiken was 14, he was going through his father’s computer, and accidentally discovers that Jamie had died a few weeks prior, at only 13. This devastates him, and while he was already against the work he was forced into, the circumstances of Jamie’s death (at the hands of one of Jamie’s father’s employees in the mob, used brutally as a human shield), radicalizes him, and he ends up toe-to-toe with the ever-loyal Brii. Brii is like Daiken but her father actually loves her deeply and manipulates/abuses her differently. Years later, Maze (who Brii was secretly in love with) dies at 19, protecting Brii on a mission, and while this would have radicalized Daiken, this only further cements in Brii’s eyes that what they are doing is the way to keep the most people safe. This story is really interesting and nuanced in a lot of ways.

Three: To Grow Again (TGA)/After (2019-)

The story of Sachi and her siblings’ lives after they’re taken out of their father’s custody and transferred into Daiken’s care a few months later. Mostly a story of healing and setbacks as Sachi experiences loss, works through trauma, adjusts to a new way of life, and also forms close bonds with the IL. This is the Good Ending

An AU of this: Daiken becomes a teen dad and shares custody of his daughter Aika with her mom. This is mostly fluffy slice of life stuff and isn’t canon to anything.

Another AU of this: I like to play with a roleswap/reverse siblings so that everyone is backward in age. I haven't played with this concept as much so feel free to ask more abt this.

Four: The Dimension Girls (2020-)

Eventually I got bored of the happily ever after stuff so I gave Sachi the power to travel between dimensions and made her a guardian of the planet Earth. I have a lot of lore I’m still working on (ATSV gave me so many good ideas, but also hey I already had the ‘anomaly’ concept!) but I’ve tried to distinguish between dimensions, universes, and smaller changes in dimensions. That’s a different post.

Sachi and two other girls****, Allison (Aussie, she/they, 19) and Imogen (Irish, she/her, 16) are meant to help dimensional anomalies, act as ambassadors to other dimensions, and protect the dimension from threats. I used the concept of the 5 senses, where Allison is sight, Sachi is hearing, and Imogen is taste (which I decided includes gasses/the lungs). There are 5 senses, obviously, but I decided that the other 2 girls haven’t activated their powers yet, so right now, Sachi’s Earth doesn’t have all of its guardians, making the burden greater on the three. Not every dimension uses the 5 senses in their powers, or even has the same rules for picking guardians. In this dimension, the guardian powers are passed through the girl in the bloodline (trans-inclusive! Which is why none of the others can be transfemme and Sachi can’t be transmasc lol) until there isn’t one, then it jumps to a new family. There’s some fun horror where these senses sometimes cross over and they can experience things from other dimensions (phantom hearing, vision, smoke in Im’s lungs, etc). There’s also this mirror dimension where they go and blah blah I don’t feel like explaining.

I love doing crossovers so when I do those I just make it a dimensional thing. I tried staying away from the ‘fantasy structure is just a bureaucracy hierarchy’ concept because I hate it, but there are also beings with more power, like Cosmic/Cozy who is an inter-dimensional higher being who steps in when situations get dire. Pronouns pending because I can’t decide between they/them and he/she so y’all can help me out with that as well.

An AU of this: Sachi also gets stuck in timeloops sometimes, caused by her powers somehow. I have fun with it. This one is more canon than the other AU I have, and I headcanon that she wears a watch that beeps at 11:50 pm and again at midnight because when she loops it’s always at midnight, and she can get her bearings at 11:50 pm so that if she ends up looping, she’s somewhere safe and can remember what she was doing at the time to avoid suspicion of the others. It’s a vibe.

Another AU of this: Sachi keeps getting dreams of treading water in an endless ocean as her mother calls out to her and tells her it’s okay + something ominous about where to find her/info about her death. Every time Sachi wakes up, water materializes out of nowhere and she awakens drenched and exhausted, a pool of water around her. This period of time would be either on and off for a few months or for a few weeks straight. She sets an alarm for every 20 minutes so that when she sleeps, she never starts dreaming. She’s constantly exhausted and is living hell for this period of time until the dreams stop.

I think that’s all of the information about my OCs and To Grow Again, the name I picked for their story. This was a lonnggggg post so I will not be surprised if no one reads this. If you made it this far and read most of it, leave a goat emoji in the replies <3. Thank you for letting me rant Catla!!!!! Hope you all enjoyed lol. There is so much information still in my brain, resting, that I have not released yet, so if you have any questions, please hmu with an ask!!! I am obsessed and will respond.

peace ✌️

#nova talks #ask #oc tag #tga #nova's lore #adding copious tags so i can find this later

29 notes · View notes