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linkspooky · 4 months

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DOOMED SIBLINGS: THE TODOROKIS VS. THE FIRE NATION ROYAL FAMILY

I received an ask in my inbox about how Zuko doesn't owe Azula any forgiveness. Truthfully I wasn't even going to respond because this isn't an avatar blog, but then I watched this video.

Not only do I disagree with the basically everything in this video, but I am going to make the argument that both Zuko' and Azula's arcs are both incomplete with the way the show left the two of them in the final showdown.

In order to make my argument I'm going to compare Azula and Zuko's relationship in avatar to Shoto and Toya's relationship in My Hero Academia and use the latter as a more positive example.

Unnecessary Redemption Arcs

The common fandom opinion I want to argue against is this idea that Azula's ending is a perfect tragedy, and therefore doesn't need to be expanded upon. There's also a sentiment that redeeming Azula would somehow ruin the impact of this perfect tragedy.

I'm about to argue against both of these points.

Azula's arc doesn't work as a tragedy.

Because of this her arc is unsatisfying and unfinished.

I'm going to address the first bullet point but before that let me add another disclaimer. The reason why I think Azula's arc isn't an effectively written tragedy isn't because I like Azula.

Before we even get into the My Hero Academia comparison let me bring up something completely different. I do like Azula, but I like Terra Markov from Teen Titans a lot more and I would not change a thing about her tragic end.

AZULA'S ARC IS NOT A WELL-WRITTEN TRAGEDY

Terra in the comics is what a lot of people accuse Azula of being. She is stated in the text and by her creators to be an unfeeling sociopath. She was also never intended by her creators to be redeemed.

[About Terra] The very first time we see her, she’s trying to blow up the Statue of Liberty. It’s just that all the fans assumed because we went out of our way to make her cute — but not too cute, with the buck teeth and everything — everyone would assume that she was gonna become good by the end and that was never the case. First thing, we made a promise that day that we would never renege on our view that she’d never become good. It’s sometimes hard to do that with characters you like. You want them to become good or something like that. But we never liked the character enough—because we knew what we were doing with her—we never allowed ourselves to fall for the character. Because that’s bad. That’s bad storytelling. You’re doing what you want as a fan at that particular point, not as the creators. T

Now let me clarify, both creators of New Teen Titans say some nasty things about Terra and don't recognize her sexual abuse, but here's the thing. You don't have to read a story 100% the way the author intended, sometimes the story says one thing and the text says something different.

I am going to use Judas Contract as an example of a story where the character from the start was never intended to be redeemed and why that's a positive in this case.

Terra is a teenage girl, the bastard daughter of the king of Markovia and a random American woman who presumably has had no stable home her entire life because she's working as a mercenary at fifteen. She teams up with a man that is in his mid fifties and even starts a sexual relationship with him (this is statutory rape she cannot consent) and Deathstroke uses her to infiltrate the Teen Titans and learn as much as possible.

Terra is sent to live with the team and spy on them for several months. The whole time she only ever engages with them in a fake spunky persona, and never shows her real cutthroat self. She leads Beast Boy on in a fake romance to make him trust her and secure her place on the team. The way you'd usually expect this arc to go is that Terra would grow fond of the team and be torn in her loyalties.

Yeah, that never happens.

Terra loathes the Titans. In fact she's developed a superiority complex about her meta human abilities and she doesn't understand why anyone would use their powers to help others. She despises the concept of superheroes in general, and because of that never bonds with any of the Titans. Her feelings never change from start to finish, because her creators intentionally wrote her as a character that can't be redeemed.

Terra is written to be a psychopath, but even with that intention in mind there are scene that shows a greater range of emotions. She has what could amount to a trauma flashback when Beast Boy too aggressively flirts with her and tries to kiss her and she reacts violently, trying to bury him under the earth.

Let's go ahead and interpret Terra as what is used as the fictional definition of a "sociopath" that is someone who feels no bonds with other people, someone with shallow emotions and someone devoid of guilt. Even if we interpret her that way, her story is still meant to be read as a tragedy.

Terra succeeds in her mission of infiltrating the Titans. Slade captures most of them, and the only remaining member Dick Grayson goes missing. Dick Grayson then unites with Slade's son Jericho, and the two of them team up in order to rescue the rest of their friends.

Even after all she's done the Titans try to make pleas to Terra during the final battle, which she not only rejects but responds to with violence. Which only confirms what I said above, Terra never grew to love them, she never regretted her actions, she only ever engaged with them with lies.

(Terra always lies, Terra always lies, Terra always lies).

Terra is declared by Raven to be devoid of emotions: "Her thinking is unlike ours. She feels no true love or hate. Her soul is corrupt. What she does is done without remorse."

Even after Raven declares this, however she still pleads with Terra to stop because she's going to hurt herself. Terra feels Slade betrayed her because he favored his son Jericho over her, so she decides to take both Slade and the Titans down. As the Titans fight her she begins to mentally fall apart ignoring their appeals to her and lashing out at everything around her. Eventually she makes one last attempt to everything around her, but the Titans escape and she only manages to bury herself.

At no point in the fight do the Titans give up on trying to reach her even as she's loudly screaming how much she hates them. Even after she's buried and it looks like she's dead, Gar and Donna both try desperately to dig her up on the slim hope she's still alive. When they find the body they even give her a funeral afterwards, even though they all think that Terra was beyond redemption.

Even the prose narration that accompanies her death is incredibly melancholy and bemoans her fate, at the same time as it calls her a outright sociopath.

There's no reasoning with her now. However slim, whatever sanity Tara Markov possessed is gone. Now there is only primal hatred! Hatred born, nurtured, and fanned. Hatred that festers and grows without care, without feeling, without plan. her pursed lips part and the sounds which echoes force are garbled and inhuman. Hot, boiling blood gushes wildly from the earth's open wounds, its skin fractures and cracks, and if a world could cry, it surely would. Her name is Tara Markov and she is little more than sxiteen years old, and due to the fault of no one but herself she is insane. No one taught her to hate, yet she hates without cause, without reason. No one taught her to destroy, yet she destroys with glee, with relish. Don't look for reasons which do not exist, plainly Tara Markov is what she is, and she has taken a great power and made it as corrupt as she. Hers was the power over the earth itself she could have brought life to deserts, hat to the frozen tundra, food to sraving millions. She could have damned raging rivers, and tunneled water to packed lands dry and dead. her powers were limited only by the mind which controlled them. A mind which sought not hope, not love, not life, but death.

If you go with the text that she is just a sociopath beyond redemption who hates and hates and hates for no reason, the narrative still mourns her because a sixteen year old with her whole life ahead of being consumed by hatred and then dying because of it is in fact sad.

If you read into the subtext then you can argue that the events of the story, contradicts what the narration is telling us. Terra is being sexually groomed and groomed as a child soldier by a man who is much older than her, even if she thinks he's a partner he clearly has all power in the relationship.

If you think about it that way then Terra is the ultimate bad victim. She doesn't cry and call for help as a victim of sexual abuse, instead she tries to claim power for herself, she manipulates, and she destroys any chance she had for a genuine relationship because she only sees all relationships as transactions she can gain or lose from.

Even if you only go with the first interpretation, the narrative still remains tragic because the Titans themselves did not want to give up on her, they did not want to watch this sixteen-year-old girl destroy herself. They never stop reaching out for her and it doesn't work, because there was no way out for Terra but death.

Here's the thing I don't think Terra's status as a sexual victim automatically means an ending where she dies is offensive. It reflects a reality that victims like Terra often go unseen because they don't present their victimhood in palatable ways, and by the time anyone notices it's far too late. Sometimes tragedies are meant to reflect a reality where many people do not get saved.

There's two reasons that Judas Contract works as a tragic story. Number one the creators planned Terra's ending right from the beginning. Which meant they never gave her any moment where she shows that she's redeemable. There's no genuine bond between her and the titans, no wrestling with the guilt of her actions, nothing.

Number two, Judas Contract is Terra's story from beginning to end. It begins with her betrayal of the Titans, and ends with her death. The death is also brought upon herself by her fatal flaw her hatred, which is what makes her the protagonist of a tragedy. Tragedies are stories where heroes are undone by their flaws. Terra also goes out on her own terms. She buries herself underneath her own rocks. Her death is a direct consequence of her inability to let go of her hatred. Terra's not fridged for anybody else's arc, she retains her agency until the exact moment of her death.

To simplify into bullet points, Judas Contract works because:

The creators thought out what they wanted to do with Terra.

Judas contract is Terra's story.

Now, getting to the part where we actually talk about Avatar, and I start complaining about that awful, awful video.

AZULA'S ARC IS NOT WELL THOUGHT OUT

I just went on a long tangent on how Terra, a character written to have no redeemable qualities can still be tragic. How the creators marked her as clearly doomed from the start, and how she brought about her end on herself, how there no redemption for Terra. How this girl had no real chance, and how regardless of the fact Terra is a lil baby sociopath her fall is still tragic because of how well structured the tragedy is surrounding her.

It's awful to kill off a sixteen year old victim of sexual abuse, but the ending just fits because Terra represents a certain type of bad, unsympathetic victim who doesn't get saved.

Azula's arc isn't as well structured. The ending does not fit. I'm going to start by refuting some points in the awful, awful video I did not like.

"Maybe it's okay if Azula's story ends where it does in the series we would separate how we would treat a real 14-year-old girl from a villain in a series, ad that's why any redemption arc isn't need i a story after all. A character needs of deserves a redemption arc when it becomes the most meaningful way to explore their character and place in the story, but a character deserving redemption usually comes before the story really needing it, and I don't think Azula's done anything to deserve it yet. They've got to exhibit some willingness and action to change..."

So the main reason I'm using Terra as my first example is because Terra is the kind of character that Hello Future Me is describing. Terra was written with the specific intention she'd never experience a change of heart, all of the friendships she makes with the Titans are fake, she very loudly experiences no remorse, or even self-reflection over what she is. Terra's pretty proudly a monster and she never experiences any kind of self-doubt or regret over what she's become.

I can disprove right away Hello Future Me's blanket statement (with no actual cited examples, just trust him guys) that Azula never did anything to hint she may deserve redemption. That suggests Azula is an entirely selfish character who uses, manipulates and thinks she's right and worst of all is comfortable being the way she is, and therefore incapable of doing the self-reflection necessary for change.

Azula does show the capacity to do selfless actions several times in the narrative, and even consider the feelings of others. There's the apology scene with Ty Lee and the way she interacts with her friends in general with the Beach where when she's not fighting in a war or trying to complete a mission for her father Azula 1) interacts with her friends in a normal way and 2) seems to express a desire to experience normal relationships not the hierarchical ones she's experienced all of her life.

However, that's not the example I'm going to use as her save the cat moment. I generally intend to interpret that as a sign that even though she treats Mai and Ty Lee as subordinates and that power she holds over them eventually leads to them leaving her, their friendship isn't just Azula abusing them and lording her authority over their heads 24/7.

No, Azula's save the cat moments all revolve around Zuko. Which is funny, because the entire fandom seems to regard Azula as Zuko's evil little sister who exists to do nothing but torment her.

The first and biggest is Azula deciding to bring Zuko home in Ba Sing Se, and telling a lie to her father that he was the one to slay the avatar.

Ozai: I am proud of you, Prince Zuko. I am proud because you and your sister conquered Ba Sing Se. I am proud because when your loyalty was tested by your treacherous uncle, you did the right thing and captured the traitor. And I am proudest of all of your most legendary accomplishment: you slayed the Avatar.

Zuko: [Shocked.] What did you hear? Ozai: Azula told me everything. She said she was amazed and impressed at your power and ferocity at the moment of truth. [Inspired partly by this post]

Now the show seems to regard this action as Azula being an evil temptress who is there to tempt Zuko back to her side with everything he thinks he ever wanted.

That's only if you regard it from Zuko's perspective.

Think for a moment from Azula's perspective. Number one, Azula is someone thoroughly indoctrinated into Fire Nation propaganda who measures her self-worth based on 1) military achievement and 2) her father's approval and assessment of her talents. In Azula's own logic (wrongheaded as it is) she's helping Zuko. She's bringing him back home with his place in the line of succession restored and his father's approval.

Azula doesn't benefit from this gesture at all, in fact if her father discovers the lie she has as much to lose as Zuko does.

Now Zuko insinuates that Azula only brought Zuko along and told her father that he was the one who killed the avatar so she could let him take the fall if the avatar turned out to be alive.

However, if you look at the actual order of events that doesn't make sense. Azula saw the avatar die, she didn't know about the spirit water, and therefore had no way of knowing Aang could come back. In fact, it's Zuko who 1) knew about the spirit water and 2) decides to keep the spirit water and the fact the avatar might have survived a secret that is throwing Azula under the bus. After all she has as much to lose as he did and instead of sharing that information with her he decides to keep it all to himself.

Now Azula does imply that if the avatar were to turn out to be alive all of Zuko's glory would dry up, but this is only after Zuko 1) throws accusations at her and 2) makes it's pretty clear he's lying to her putting her on the defensive.

This is also a scenario where Azula doesn't have much to gain by bringing Zuko back, if you look at it from her perspective. If Azula just lets Zuko rot in a ba sing se prison, then her claim to the throne is secure. With Zuko back he's restored in the line of succession. She also, when making the decision to invite Zuko to her side probably didn't need him for her plan to succeed.

There is a dramatic moment of Zuko choosing to side with Azula over Katara which turns the tide in Azula's favor, but Azula can't see into the future and therefore wouldn't be able to predict that happening. If you look at it from Azula's perspective she 1) successfully infiltrated the city, 2) already had the Dai Lee in her pocket. She likely already thought she had the city secure at this point so her decision to extend a hand out to Zuko is therefore likely motivated by selflessness instead of self-interest.

That's important because usually when Azula usually only gives her help to others if it also benefits her in some way. Azula might genuinely see her recruiting Mai and Ty Lee to her side as a member of the royal family extending her favor and giving them status and security in their positions but it has the underlying motivation of 1) she keeps them in a position to beneath her and therefore in her complete control.

Azula will interact with Mai and Ty Lee like friends on the surface, as long she maintains control over them, but if they do anything to something that displeases her she'll do anything to regain her control.

Mai: I thought you ran off and joined the circus. You said it was your calling. Ty Lee: Well, Azula called harder.

This is set up in Azula's very first interaction with Ty Lee. Azula greets her like an old friends, Ty Lee even seems happy to see her, but the second Ty Lee tries to say no to her Azula goes to extreme lengths to "persuade her". Azula's friendship with Mai and Ty Lee is an abusive friendship because there is a power differential and even if Azula feels genuine affection for them both it's clear they're not allowed to say no. Mai and Ty Lee are put into positions where it's in their best interest to please her, and live in fear of the consequences if they don't do just that.

Here's the thing, I'm not arguing that Azula didn't deserve any consequences for her actions. I'm arguing that the setup doesn't match her eventual ending. Azula is set up to have Mai and Ty Lee leave her from the very first scene that Azula interacts with Ty Lee. It's satisfying because the set up matches the pay off.

It's also tragic because it's Azula continuing the chain of abuse. The video isn't entirely wrong (which is why they came to the wrong conclusion frustrating).

Azula's fall is about how differenting parenting styles can a child. Ozai's affection is exchanged for being useful. Something Azula would go on to repeat with her friends, whereas Iroh's affection is something freely given with patience for imperfections and failures, something Zuko goes then on to repeat.

It's like... there it is it's so close. Here's the thing, Azula is set up for a tragic falling out with Mai and Ty Lee (and one she deserves) but the set up is different with Zuko. Azula's save the cat moment revolves around Zuko, and her genuine attempt to bring her brother home.

Yes, the first time Azula interacts with Zuko in season 2, she tries to take him home by force. However, by the ending of the season Azula's perspective on the matter has obviously changed because she begins by trying to bring him back as a prisoner, and by the end of the season invites him back as an equal.

There's no moment in Season 3 where Azula treats Zuko the way she does Mai and Ty Lee (unless Zuko provokes it first and puts her on the defensive) in fact most of her interactions are either them interacting normally (such as when Azula goes to find Zuko at their old beach house because she knows he'll be there and advises he leave instead of dwelling on their depressing memories) or Azula deliberately trying to look out for Zuko such as when she advises him not to go visiting with Uncle because it'll make others suspicious.

On the other hand, Zuko never at any point looks out for his sister the way Azula is demonstrated looking out for him. He doesn't say, try to tell her where he's going on the Day of Black Sun, or try to convince her the fire nation is wrong. There's a scene in the later part of Season 3 where Zuko is watching Azula fall to her death while sitting on a flying bison and not only sits there and does nothing about it, but sounds disappointed when she doesn't hit the ground and become an Azula Pancake.

That's pretty much the opposite of a save the cat moment. It's a "let the cat fall to their death" kind of moment.

Yes they were enemies at that point, but Zuko's the one who's supposed to learn that affection is something freely given with patience for imperfections and failures, something Zuko goes then on to repeat.

How exactly is he doing that in this scene?

The thing is... this setup doesn't have to be bad. Of course Zuko has trouble has trouble empathizing with Azula, he doesn't even think about sending a letter to Mai, Zuko's shown at this point to be like a healing abuse victim who's understandably focused on himself.

This in fact could be excellent set up with step 1) learning what genuine love and forgiveness is and 2) demonstrating those two things by applying it to others.

However, that's not where we got. We got Zuko watching his sister have a complete emotional breakdown, crying and screaming while chained to a grate and looking somewhat sad.

And once again to bring Terra into this, Terra is what Stay at Home and parts of fandom argue that Azula is. Terra screams at the top of her lungs how much she hates the Titans, how much she was always lying to them, and the Titans STILL try to reach Terra with words, try to de-escalate the conflict, when she's about to bring the rocks falling down on herself warn her she's going to hurt herself, and then when she's buried under rubble try to dig her out begging for her too still be alive.

Terra who's intentionally created by her writers to be as hatable as possible, is shown more compassion by the heroes in her ending than Zuko ever does to Azula. They also give Terra multiple opportunities to change until literally the very last minute, which Zuko doesn't do either.

What's set up is Azula has this save the cat moment with her brother, that Zuko is pretty much the only person she doesn't treat like a subordinate in the story (because she just like Zuko has a craving for familial love she tries to earn from her father). However, her ending with Zuko just taking her down doesn't fit that setup.

Azula's ending only fits if you consider her arc entirely from Zuko's perspective, which is the underlying issue. Azula's not the protagonist of her own tragedy, she's a plot object that's used to benefit Zuko's arc.

Azula's is written to have a downfall, the same way that Zuko loses everything at the ending of season 1 b/c of his inability to give up on the obsessive search for the avatar (and his father's love with it). Azula is written to be left by Mai and Ty Lee (this is the strongest point of writing when it comes to her since it comes from the beginning).

However, she's not written to be left completely alone and insane with the only empathy being shown is that her brother looks kinda sorta sad. That's only good if you view her as an object to further Zuko's arc, because isn't the ultimate culmination of Zuko beating his sister who has always been ahead of him at life? Azula needs to torn down completely without even some small glimpse of a hope of recovery so Zuko can be built up even moreor at least the writers of avatar seem to think so.

However, even Azula just existing for Zuko's growth and character development doesn't have to necessarily be a bad thing. This is where we get to MHA, which does the tragic siblings and the final Ag Ni Kai about 1000 times better with Shoto and Dabi.

THE GOOD

The comparisons between Shoto and Dabi to Zuko and Azula are made pretty often by the fandom. Shoto has a scar, Dabi has blue flames. Shoto has an arc about healing and learning what it means to be a hero, Dabi's arc is about self-destruction.

Dabi's not the center of his own story, he exists to foil Shoto and help Shoto reach the endpoint of his character development however that's not necessarily a bad thing. These are both two pairs of tragic siblings, the main difference is that MHA doesn't feel the need to tear down one sibling in order to build up the other. In fact, the final step to Shoto's arc is HELPING Dabi, not PUTTING HIM DOWN.

Not only that but the decision to help Dabi is a decision that Shoto makes on his own, and him going against the tide of a society that has already given up on Dabi and would much rather have Shoto shoot Dabi like a mad dog. Which makes the decision to do so even more powerful and emblematic of Shoto's growth.

Now you could say that Shoto and Zuko are too different to compare their arcs, Zuko has a redemption arc, and Shoto has what most people would probably term a healing arc. Shoto starts out the series as a hero.

However, this is what annoys me about the redemption arc debate. A redemption arc is really just a normal character arc. However, calling it redemption drags things like morality and forgiveness into the debate. if you take remove the discussion about moral philosophy both Zuko and Shoto have character arcs where they start the story defined entirely by their home situations and their father's abuse (hence why they have big obvious scars on their face), recover from their trauma, and go on to find an identity outside of their father and form healthy non-abusive connections with others.

In fact I'd see the theme of both arcs are the same, to literally find balance within themselves. Shoto is divided quite literally into right and left sides, fire and ice, and even seems to view himself as half of his father and half of his mother. Zuko is someone who's permanently marked and dishonored by the burn scar on his face. He suffers from an internal imbalance as well. Iroh says that Zuko is the descendant of both Roku and Sozin and therefore both pathways are open to him (but wouldn't that apply to Azula too). Zuko says to his father that the fire nation has destroyed the balance to the world and he's going to leave to assist the avatar in order to fix it.

Shoto's balance isn't just about fixing his internal trauma though, it's also about finding a balance between his family which has defined his entire life up until this point, and his desire to become his own hero not the hero his father groomed him into.

It's why the culmination of his arc is Shoto reaching out to save his family member Toya, because it's the ultimate balance in wanting to heal his family, and also the kind of hero he wants to be, someone who saves and brings peace to others instead of just violently putting down villains. He can bring peace to his family and become his own hero in one action.

However, let's go back to the beginning of Shoto's arc, because saving Toya as an endpoint to his arc is set up pretty early on.

Shoto's arc begins with Deku, a stranger breaking down Shoto's walls as an outsider in order to allow him to look past his own trauma and recall for the first time what he wanted outside of his resentment towards his father. This sets up the idea early on for Shoto that sometimes you need outside interference, help you didn't ask for, especially when you can't see outside of your own problems.

What Deku brings about ultimately is a change of perspective, Shoto's so hurt by the memory of his mother throwing boiling water in his face and everything that came after that he can't recall the memory of her telling him he could be who he wanted to be.

But, you want to be a hero right?

Shoto takes away two things from this arc, sometimes you need help even when you're not asking for it, and sometimes a change in respective is required in order to take the first step forward.

He goes to demonstrate these things multiple times, but here's two exaamples. The first Shoto demonstrates immediately after the tournament arc. When Iida is about to go down a dark path and commit a revenge killing on Stain. When, as a result of that IIDA is paralyzed and about to die in an alleyway, it's Shoto who both notices Midoriya and Iida are missing and shows up in the clutch. He's practicing the same thing that Deku taught him in the last arc: Giving help that's not asked for is what makes a true hero.

He even mentions the second idea, that a small change in perspective can be all it takes to save someone, and he wants to do for Iida hat Deku did for him. His words are the one who convinces Iida to stand back up again when he's paralyzed.

If you wanna stop this, then stand up. Because I've got one thing to say to you. Never forget who you want to become!

However Shoto's arc doesn't end here, because one of the major conflicts in MHA is that heroes don't pick and choose who to save and a true hero will give help even to those people who don't ask for it.

This is a point which further develops when Shoto's abusive father starts to show a change of heart at the end of the Pro Hero Arc. Shoto still holds his father accountable for what he did in the past, but he also acknowledges that if he had the capacity to change then so does Enji. This isn't about whether or not Enji is forgivable, this is an extension of what Shoto learned. Shoto originally believed he was controlled by the circumstances of his birth, that his fate was set in stone, but a change in perspective allows him to realize he can determine who he wants to be. So, Shoto is just applying what he's learned, Enji has the capacity to grow.

There's one final piece of setup that I want to cover before showing how these separate dies all culminate in saving Dabi. Shoto's not only someone who has to find balance between his family and his desire to be a hero.

The theme of balance is written into the quirk itself. Enji basically practiced eugenics to create Shoto as his masterpiece. He noticed a flaw in his own quirk where he could only make his flames so hot without overheating. So he arranged a quirk marriage with Rei who possessed an ice quirk to create a hybrid ice and fire quirk that he could use to cool himself off to prevent him from overheating.

Enji only ever cared about the fire half of Shoto's quirk. His ice quirk only exists for his flames to grow stronger. This is shown when Enji is trying to force Shoto to learn all of his signature moves, because he only cares about Shoto's flame quirk. Shoto was created to carry on his father's legacy, and surpass him with an even more powerful flame quirk. Part of his character development is him learning how to use his quirk in his own way.

This is a theme that continues in the class training arc where Enji is still repeating the behavior of trying to force Shoto to learn his signature moves instead of considering what he wants at all, because still Shoto only exists in Enji's mind to carry on his legacy.

This all culminates in Toya's decision to save his brother. The first is his action in choosing to identify with his brother. If Shoto believes in his own capacity to change, and even his father's, then why would he deny Toya that same chance to change?

The foiling between Shoto and Toya isn't supposed to reduce the two of them to "Shoto is the good one, and he's the bad one", but instead Shoto and Toya were both in a point where they were consumed by hatred and couldn't see any other path in life. Therefore if Shoto was able to change because someone gave him help when he didn't ask for it, then Toya not only has the capacity to change - but in order for Shoto to stick to his stated beliefs that the smallest of things can bring about a change in people he has to be the one to give his brother that chance to change.

It's not about whether Dabi is worthy or not, it's about the themes in Shoto's arc finally being paid off.

Shoto's identifying with Toya, and even parts where he tells Bakugo he'll make Toya sit down and make Toya tell him his favorite food indicate that from the beginning Shoto's intention was to find a way to stop Toya without killing him (which is what several of the adult heroes were encouraging him to do).

@stillness-in-green does a more succinct summary of this plan.

Just me?

Because, like, Shouto had a plan. He spent the time between the two war arcs specifically developing a brand-new combat technique that he planned to use to shut down Dabi's combat advantage without killing him. He convinced his dad not to change the plan like Endeavor was hesitantly sounding him out about[1]; he went out and talked and asked questions, and even if they weren't the right words every single time, he did his best and he did it with intention. If Dabi proves to be dead, it won't be because of anything Shouto did to him; it'll be because Dabi himself chose to stand back up, take a warp gate across the country, pick a fight with the guy who doesn't have the power set to shut him down without unduly hurting him, and trying to replicate an Ultimate Move specifically tailored for someone with a balanced power set Dabi doesn't have. And if Dabi lives, it's still going to be because Shouto booked it across the country and used that same technique to stop him again.

Shoto's decision to save Shoto is also a continuation of his decision to help save Iida from Stain. It's not enough for Shoto to experience a change of heart about his own life, he's got to take what he learned about people's capacity to change, and the importance of connections and then put that into practice and help others the way he was helped.

However, it also further develops the theme of giving help that's not ask for from Iida because Shoto's not saving a mostly heroic kid, he's saving Toya to help break a familial cycle of abuse (because murdering the abuse victim isn't how you end the cycle of abuse... actually).

Shoto's last lines to Dabi are also a refutation of this idea of destiny that he once thought he was ruled by. It's once again, Shoto teaching someone else the lesson he learned. Toya says a warped rail can never mingle with a straight and narrow one! In other words Shoto can never understand or get along with Dabi, because Dabi will forever be defined as the failure because of the circumstances of his brith, whereas Shoto will always be the success.

His final action is a decision to break the cycle they were born into: no, we're gonna mingle whether you like it or not.

Shoto's ultimate move Phosphor is not only a move he designed far in advance to take down Dabi non-lethally, it also is a rejection of his father's teaching method. Toya says he only ever taught me how to turn up the heat. Enji only valued both Shoto and Toya for their flame quirks. Developing his own quirk and breaking away from what his father wanted, specifically in order to save his brother. It's Shoto rejecting what his father created both of them for (a successor to his quirk) and finding his own path. By using that move to take down Dabi he's not only teaching Dabi their flame exists for more than just destruction, he's also by letting Dabi live giving Dabi a chance.

From a conversation with @class1akids

Dabi was the last push to unlock Shoto’s full power. Until then he was on the track of mastering flashfire like Endeavor planned for him (except for his own reasons) but realising the fighting Dabi with fire was gonna kill them both and also he’s simply no match fire only helped Shoto to fully take control of what his quirk is Like his quirk development goes parallel with how he faces each member of his family and finally meeting Toya is like the last piece of his puzzle to find his own full power and identity.

It's not just Shoto decides to save his brother because he's just that nice, his arc is literally incomplete without it. The act of creating phosphor a move specifically to save Dabi is both him unlocking the full power of his quirk (by balancing the fire and ice sides of his quirk) but also achieving balance between trying not to leave his family behind while at the same time becoming his own person and hero outside of his family circumstances.

Citing my conversation with class1akids again:

Toya is endangering everyone at Gunga. Endeavor has no means to stop him and when he tries to murder suicide Rei interrupts and his “hero way out” is taken. All he can do is watch helplessly as his family is about to burn to death with a bunch of strangers he tried to protect. But it would do Shoto dirty to use his heart technique to kill his family and the strangers so he comes in a clutch and I see that confrontation as the power trauma vs the power of healing in the family. With Shoto who is a true hero, they can put the fire out and save the family and strangertoo. Shoto become a balanced hero and bring relief and reassurance, Endeavor was completely helpless, and Toyas inner child got the attention he wanted, plus depending on how you read it, he may have become less suicidal.

Shoto also, and I want to point this out desires to stop his brother not to take him down but because he doesn't want him to hurt any more people. He's again finding a balance between two ideas 1) Shoto needs to stop his brother in order to stop him from creating more victims and 2) Shoto needs to find a way to stop him that's not just putting him down because Toya himself is a victim.

Shoto also, and I must point this out for the comparison between Zuko and Azula goes out of his way to engage Dabi in conversation, ask him why he didn't come home and what happened to him in the years after he died. This is especially poignant because unlike Zuko and Azula who grew up together, Shoto basically had no relationship with his brother (and the rest of his siblings really) before Toya died because Enji purposefully kept Shoto separate from all the "failures."

So yes, the act of saving Toya is more for the completion of Shoto's arc than any redemption arc for Toya but Toya's not just a plot object to move around for Shoto's arc, Toya has his own agency all throughout. In fact it's the fact that Toya resists being saved every step of the way that provides the challenge that Shoto needs to grow in order to be able to save him.

Toya's not just after revenge against his father that's the surface reason, Toya is also just blatantly suicidal. Toya's birth is marked as a failure, his death wasn't even acknowledged by his family and everything stayed the same in his absence, so he created Dabi while praying at his own shrine in order to mourn Toya. Dabi can't find any meaning in his life where he was born as a failure, so he'll use his death taking revenge against Endeavor for having been born in order to give his life meaning.

What makes Avatar look especially bad in its treatment of Azula in comparison to how MHA treats Dabi, is that Dabi is way, way less redeemable than Azula. For one Azula has clearly proven affection both her friends and her brother (and I don't think she even deserves Mai and Ty Lee's forgiveness they had every right to walk out on her and want nothing to do with her again.)

Dabi is probably the ugliest victim of the League of Villains. The rest of the league have far more moments in their bonds with each other. Toya is the outsider to the league even if there are some subtle hints to his affection (he tries to show up to save Twice, and also burns down Toga's family house to comfort her). The villains are mostly shown to be redeemable by their positive friendship with each other, and Dabi at several points denies the league's bond (he pulls a Terra and yells out loud at the top of his lungs none of the league matter to him). Unlike with Terra you can argue this is most likely Dabi trying to cover up his real feelings. However, the fact that he feels the need to hide his affection from the league shows he's purposefully distancing himself from any bonds whatsoever.

Unlike Azula who has gone out of her way to help her brother in one major way, and also shows hints in early season 3 of having that sibling bond with him Dabi just straight up wants to murk Toya. Azula also tries to murk Zuko, but that's only when Zuko leaves on the day of Black Sun (one without telling her, and two something that probably left her alone to deal with the consequences of lying to her father for his sake). Either way, Azula's behavior in early season 3 is setup for the fact that their sibling bond can be salvaged.

Dabi is way worse to Shoto in comparison. Dabi in the first part never saw Shoto as his own person, just a puppet of his father (puppets have no autonomy or personhood). His feelings towards Shoto only went so far as Shoto was someone who could kill in order to upset Enji. Dabi also doesn't particularly care for the rest of his family as well (only calling out Natsu's name when his brain is literally melting), they're either ways to hurt endeavor, or he wants to drag them in hell with him. Heck his last words after being saved is telling everyone to die and go to hell.

Dabi doesn't bother to make bonds with the league or have any lingering affection for his family because Dabi's determined to seslf destruct. He's given up on life the moment he saw that he died and nothing changed in that household, now all that's left is for him to create a meaningful death by dragging his family to hell with him.

Dabi is also even as a child made out to be an unpleasant victim. He attacks baby Shoto with his flames early on out of jealousy (even though he later admits that he was being unfair to Shoto). He makes the situation in the house worse by loudly screaming and demanding his father's attention. He screams at his mother and throws her complicity in Enji's abuse in her face.

This is in comparison to Shoto who in childhood flashbacks we are only ever seen either 1) crying, and 2) trying to comfort and protect his mother. Toya's even made out to be difficult to empathize with as a child - which like flew over half of the fandom's heads because he got accusations of somehow abusing his father and the rest of his family in that chapter at 10 years old. However, that in a way illustrates my point.

The fact that Dabi is so disliked by a certain portion of the fandom is because Horikoshi paints such an ugly portrait of Toya in the way he expresses his victimhood. It's done deliberately too, because number one Toya by resisting Shoto's attempts to save him and trying to self destruct instead retains agency as a character. He makes decisions even though they're bad self destructive ones, he's not just a prop. Number two, the fact that Toya is intentionally portrayed as such an ugly victim makes Shoto's decision to break the cycle of familial abuse by saving Toya and not leaving a single family member all the more poignant.

Toya is an uglier victim than Azula, actively trying to kill himself in a way that Azula isn't, and treats Shoto way worse than Azula ever treated Zuko and yet Azula isn't shown the sympathy or given the salvation that Toya is.

Because once again, the writers didn't think about the ending of Azula's arc or of Azula as her own character. Shoto defeating Toya is the culmination of his desire to break the cycle of abuse in his family. Zuko putting Azula down is just to make Zuko look better. It's in service of Zuko's character instead of both of their characters.

THE BAD

Avatar isn't setting up some gritty ending where the bad guys can't be stopped, they can only be killed. In fact it's pretty close in tone to MHA.

Season 3 especially is the season that really begins to hammer in on the themes that even the people on the enemy side are still human after all. The headband shows that Fire Nation children are indoctrinated into the war, but they are in the end still children. There's the story between Avatar Roku and Sozin, and once again Iroh saying that Zuko has both options becoming like Roku or becoming like Sozin available to him (but not Azula I guess). There's Zuko joining Team Avatar, even after he betrayed Katara in Ba Sing Se and should have burnt that bridge then and there. There's Zuko working to earn their trust again when no one on the team really owe it to him.

The main character of the show is a pacifist, who deliberately learns a way to stop Ozai without killing him before the final battle because he doesn't want to break the values taught to him by his culture.

If the entire theme of season 3 is redemption, healing and that the fire nation are not inherently evil then why does Zuko's sister and character foil end the last shot of the series screaming and crying with no one comforting or even attempting to sympathize with her. Why is this one character marked for tragedy in a show that is about redemption and healing and showing compassion to your enemies and very specifically not a tragedy.

Toya literally burns all of the flesh off of his body, and somehow he has a gentler ending than Azula, because at least Toya's arc ends with all the members of his family showing up to try to cool down his flames, and when he's on the ground burnt to a crisp his father finally apologizes to him. Toya is a skinless burnt chicken wing, my boy has no skin, and somehow he's better off than Azula.

I don't think the writers gave Azula such a cruel ending because they don't like her, but rather because they just didn't think about her ending outside of what it meant for Zuko. Which is why you get moments like Aang who is apparently a pacifist who doesn't want to kill the Firelord, watching his daughter fall to her death while sitting on a flying bison and doing absolutely nothing to save her. ALL LIFE IS PRECIOUS (except for Azula I guess).

It's not bad because a victim doesn't get saved, it's bad because it doesn't fit in with the rest of the story.

Not only is Zuko saving Azula a very natural conclusion to his arc, but there's far more setup for Zuko reaching out to his sister and saving her than there ever was for Toya and Shoto. Both Toya and Terra are screaming at the top of their lungs "I HATE EVERYONE, YOU SHOULD ALL JUST GO TO HELL." They're both making decisions and committing to their self destruction while Azula is a 14 year old girl having a mental breakdown.

Anyway, time to quote the bad bad video again.

"When does a villain deserve a redemption arc? When do we deserve a redemption arc? I know this is gonna hurt, but characters are not people. They are tools. They are represetations of people. They can be used to say other things. They can be symbolic representation of other ideas. Azula's story is not just about a fourteen year old defeated by her brother for the throne, Azula is Zuko's character foil, where she is ruthless and practical, Zuko is empathetic and emotional. Where Azula's a prodigy, Zuko has to work hard to earn eve a fraction of her power.

I specifically chose to cite MHA, because of how differently it decided to use Shoto and Toya's character foiling. Shoto recognizes himself in Toya, and how different their paths were in life. This is explicitly motivates him to save Toya. It's also the culmination of everything that Shoto has learned because Shoto is a hero who believes that actions speak louder than words. It's not enough for Shoto to resolve his own inner struggle, he also has to help Dabi with his because that's showing Shoto has grown rather than telling us.

I think that is where the major difference lies between Shoto and Zuko, we're told that Zuko has chosen the path of empathy and healing, that he's learned to give people love and patience like Iroh has but instead of showing that the culmination of his arc is having a fist fight with his sister in a denny's parkinglot.

Azula is Zuko's character foil, where she is ruthless and practical, Zuko is empathetic and emotional. Where Azula's a prodigy, Zuko has to work hard to earn eve a fraction of her power.

If Zuko is empathic and emotional and that is why he's gained friends while Azula is now alone after having lost her friends due to the way she treated them, then like... what a great opportunity for Zuko to SHOW that quality of empathy.

However, Zuko doesn't do anything that Shoto does in the final fight. He's not even here for Azula, Azula's just an obstacle for taking back the crown. He doesn't talk to Azula, engage her in any way, try to de-escalate and avoid the fight.

If you want to make the tragedy that Azula and Zuko have taken such different paths in life that that Zuko fighting with his sister is unavoidable you could um... at least show Zuko being sad over the prospect of fighting his sister or being reluctant in any way.

(Before you come in here with "Zuko doesn't owe Azula anything take" this isn't about whether or not Azula is a terrible sister to Zuko, this is about the story that avatar is attempting to tell. Shoto and Dabi's fight is tragic because Shoto doesn't want to fight Dabi, he wants Dabi to come home and for their family to be complete. Zuko never expresses anything like that so where does the tragedy come from?)

If it were 100% committed to a tragedy like Terra's death then I wouldn't mind. if it were 100% committed to a story of redemption like Shoto reaching out to Toya then I wouldn't mind. My issue arises from the fact they want to have their cake and eat it too.

They want to give this tragic end to Azula, and use it to illustrate how Zuko has grown as a character. However, you can't have both.

If Zuko's growth is about learning that his father's love based on achievement and 2) learning he needed to get lost in life in order to find himself then why doesn't any of Zuko's actions demonstrate this lesson Zuko has learned about love, and about how you can be your own person outside what your father expects from you.

If Zuko has grown as a character he should be able to show those actions. He does show his new understanding of love and friendship to Team Avatar, but as I said that's easy mode. That's Shoto's attempts to save Iida, it's a step in the right direction. It's also not really Zuko demonstrating a selfless love, because he's also at the same time trying to earn their trust and earn his way into the group.

It's also not Zuko breaking the cycle of abuse in their family in any way. Shoto is trying to break free from his role of his father's masterpiece, and at the same time helping Dabi break free from his view that he's the failure.

It's also such a natural ending for Zuko's arc, to take the lessons he learned from Iroh and give them to his sister who needs them so they can both break away from their father's parenting. As I said Zuko does solve the internal conflict within himself, but he doesn't really demonstrate that by helping someone else find their balance.

If you wanted the tragic end, then it would have to be about Zuko's failure to reach out to his sister, because he hasn't learned how to reach out to her. Or because he tries and is unable to. The writers don't seem to understand that though, they think the tragedy is about Azula bringing it all on herself, and not the inherent tragedy of a fourteen year old girl being unable to be saved.

The set up is right there too, because number one avatar is about balance. So, wouldn't the true ending be finding balance between the siblings, not having Zuko rise and Azula fall. Number two, Azula being alone and friendless because of her own actions is again a parallel to where Zuko was in early season 2 at his lowest point. Except Zuko can be the better person in this situation by reaching out to her.

Zuko doesn't break the golden child / scapegoat dynamic, he just flips it so now he's the success and Azula is the failure.

While Azula's fall comes from cruelty and rejection from friends and allies it is Zuko's humility and kindness and friendship that ultimately wins the day. Him sacrifcing herself for Katara and her bringing Azula down and then her healing him. Azula ending up imprisoned isn't something happening to a real person, it's a deliberative narrative choice by the author to say something about how people like this isolate themselves and end up alone. "

As I've stated above, I'm not saying Azula didn't deserve to take a fall. Her fall is actually set up from the first moment she met Ty lee. However, there's no set up for her fall being permanent.

Azula's given way more humanizing moments than characters like Terra or even Dabi. Which is why Azula being in an insane asylum for the rest of her life doesn't fit as an ending at all.

Azula is one link in the chain of abuse. Her father only gives out affection in regards to her usefulness. No matter what Azula is an asset first and a daughter second. Azula then repeats the cycle and treats her friends the same way. She has been shown through an improper model of parenting of using fear to dominate others with power and control and she replicates that in her other relationships.

Therefore, Ty lee and Mai leaving her is not only deserved, it's the perfect opportunity to pull the rug underneath Azula and to show her that her understanding of how relationships work is completely wrong.

This also mirrors Zuko's arc, because part of Zuko's arc is realizing just how wrong Ozai is for making both children earn his love, and that he doesn't need to measure his self-worth based upon his father's approval. He also learns about healthy expressions of trust and friendship from the gang.

Azula loses in part due to her own inability to form healthy relationships is losing people rapid fire, her brother leaves and joins the enemy side, Mai and Ty Lee betray her in favor of her brother, then her father in one action of leaving Azula behind and throws the title of Firelord to her after it's become completely meaningless reminds her of her place. Azula learns in about five episodes what Zuko had in 3.5 seasons to process that her father's love was always conditional and no matter what she did she would never truly "earn it."

People leaving Azula isn't exactly the problem, the problem is that Azula ends up alone permanently without being given the same chance that Zuko is. Terra, and Toya both get opportunities to turn back. They both refuse the hand that's reaching out to him. Mai and Ty Lee leaving is caused by Azula's own choices, but her ultimate end isn't. She's not even given the chance to turn away being saved like Terra and Toya do because Zuko doesn't even bother to try saving her. Her ending is not entirely brought about by her own choices, because the writers need her to take a fall to uplift Zuko.

Azula ending up imprisoned isn't something happening to a real person, it's a deliberative narrative choice by the author to say something about how people like this isolate themselves and end up alone.

I think once again it comes from the author's misunderstanding things because they don't want to look at the story from Azula's perspective, only Zuko's.

Stay at Home almost had it when he said the tragedy of Zuko and Azula was there to show how two different parenting styles affected these children.

The tragedy is that Zuko and Azula started in the same place, but Zuko had persistent guidance and someone who modeled for him a healthy kind of love. The difference is that Azula has never experienced any kind of healthy love or support on the level Zuko has, so she models all her relationships on the way her father treats her. It's not that Azula is offered some chance for change and rejects it, it's that Azula isn't even aware of the fact that there's another way because no one is there to show it to her.

Which is why I said once again, Zuko being the first one to show Azula the lessons he himself was shown by Iroh is such a natural place for his character to end.

Azula also even while completely alone and with no idea what healthy love is, knows that there is something wrong with her and is troubled by that fact in a way Dabi and Terra aren't.

Azula: I can sit here and complain about how our mom liked Zuko more than me. But I don't really care. My own mother... thoguht I was a monster... She was right of course, but it still hurt.

Then there's the famous mirror scene:

Ursa: I didn't want to miss my own daughter's coronation. Azula:Don't pretend to act proud. I know what you really think of me. You think I'm a monster. Ursa: think you're confused. All your life you used fear to control people, like your friends Mai and Ty Lee. Azula: Well what choice do I have?! Trust is for fools. Fear is the only reliable way. Even you fear me. Ursa: No. I love you, Azula. I do.

Both of these scenes indicate that Azula thinks of herself as a monster and is deeply uncomfortable with the idea. Considering Ursa is a voice in Azula's head and not a ghost, it also shows on some level Azula knew what she did to Mai and Ty Lee was wrong and feels conflicted over it.

Once again she's much more in conflict with herself than Toya and Terror ever are, and who's someone who's constantly warring with himself? Who's someone who could help resolve her inner conflict... Zuko (too bad the way the show's written he never does).

Azula doesn't choose to self-destruct the way that Terra and Toya did. Azula's ending isn't brought about by her choice not to change, because she's never given the chance to change in the first place. Her tragic ending would make sense if it was entirely of her own choices, but Azula doesn't retain her agency in the end it's literally taken away from her. She loses control of her mind, and her ending is being chained to a grate screaming and then thrown into an asylum.

I'm not arguing against Azula's ending because she's my favorite character and I don't want bad things to happen to her. It's because her tragedy isn't about her it's about Zuko, and her ending actively takes agency away from her where at least Toya and Terra both retain their agency up until the end. It's not good writing because the tragedy doesn't fit in with the rest of the story which is about balance and healing - and it's also ableist as hell.

THE UGLY

Azula's ending is unfitting to the tone of the story she's in, makes her and Zuko's arcs feel incomplete, and also is ableist as hell.

Here's yet more evidence that Azula's tragic ending is poorly thought out. Azula's mental breakdown doesn't exist in service of her character, but Zuko's.

Azula's issues pop up out of nowhere after episode 15, and take place over the last 6 episode of the series. The idea of Azula having a mental breakdown isn't necessarily a bad concept, but it's executed poorly.

The first way it's executed poorly is just how rushed it is. There's basically no hints of any mental instability beforehand. Of course people can have mental breakdowns spontaenously like that in real life, but this is a story and stories require foreshadowing. Azula spontaneously developing mental issues doesn't feel like it's planned as a part of an arc. First off, because the writers don't seem too sure about what Azula's symptoms even are. Hallucination, paranoia, manic laughter, but apparently she's still able to bend lightning just fine. Secondly, the writer's intentions for giving Azula a mental breakdown are pretty transparent.

The writer's room needed to come up with a believable reason why Zuko would suddenly be able to fight on equal terms with Azula, so boom sudden mental illness. The intent was not to create a sympathetic portrayal of a young girl struggling with both paranoia and delusions. The intent was to nerf Azula because they couldn't think of any other way this plot could end, other than Zuko and Azula fighting in a denny's parkinglot.

As I said they use mental illness as a plot device to take Azula's agency and choices away from her. It's not done with the intention of humanizing her, and in fact except for one small scene with her talking to her mother in the mirror it's a pretty negative and unsympathetic portrayal of mental illness. Not because the writers hate mentally ill people, but because they needed Azula to have a mental breakdown in order for a plot point to happen. Which is why they didn't think of the potential implciations of such a writing choice at all.

Now, people are going to argue about me so I'll use one final example. Azula's ending may be controversial but it's universally agreed upon that the Game of Thrones Ending was bad, right?

Game of Thrones uses mental illness as the exact same plot device, to explain why Daenerys Targaryen turns from a hero to villain in the last few episodes with absolutely no foreshadowing. In fact, the all of the show director's interviews about that choice are just blatantly ableist.

Rant from @hamliet

This quote is (likely unintentionally) gaslighting, ableist, terrible logically, and downright offensive.

First, ableism: why, why, why are we conflating madness with evil? She was driven to madness so she killed a bunch of people and had to be put down? And you think this is a great message in the year of our Lord 2019? [...] Additionally, while good writing is to an extent subjective, there are general consensuses on what make good writing--and Game of Thrones hit all the general consensuses for bad writing, from bad pacing to confusing character assassination. Critics are like, pretty united on this front. No one thought Dany’s turn made sense, even the ones who expect Mad Queen in the books. Maybe if people love a character who is meant to be evil you're not writing them correctly... or maybe they aren't meant to be evil.

Daenerys and Azula are incredibly similiar characters. They're both dragon themed, alligned with the element of fire, they're both colonizers they both represent the warrior princess archetype.

I'd say Daenerys is more of a tragic heroine though, because while Danerys is essentially doing the same thing as Azula, waging war in a foreign land and a culture that's not hers, for the purpose of then bringing back soldiers to her home continent so she can wage war again - while she is definitely a war mongerer she has good intentions. Daenerys for all of her faults, genuinely wants to break the chains and help out people.

I think Azula definitely sees herself as the hero for winning the war for the fire nation's sake, but she's completely uncritical of her own culture and she doesn't really have the good intentions that Dany has. She does it more out of a sense of duty, and her belief of divine right, not because she wants to break people free.

Daenerys's problem is that she doesn't understand the culture she's invading and the complicated world she lives in and despite all good intentions, is as I described above, invading a foreign power so she can go back and wage a war to reclaim the throne. Even if Daenerys would then proceed to go on to be the bestest queen ever that wouldn't change the fact her methods to get to the throne were incredibly violent, and she's sort of failing to break free from the cycle that led the Targeryen rule to fail in the first place.

Azula's problem is she sees herself as the hero and is therefore uncritical of fire nation values. She doesn't have any nobler intentions either other than service to her country, she just like Zuko is just trying to fulfill her duties as daughter and believe her birthright puts her above others. (I mean Dany does too but digressing).

Azula's more of a tragic villain who plays the antagonist role in the story, Danerys is one of the three heroes. However, she's more of a tragic villain in the sense that she's first season zuko pre character development just way more competent.

However, while Daenerys is a much more heroic character than Azula, here's the thing. I still think she's going to die. She is foreshadowed pretty heavily to die, and fail for her quest for the throne, because her entire story is a deconstruction of the warrior princess and the liberator archetype.

However, the story that GRRM is building throughout his books with Dany as an incredibly flawed heroine is different from what we got in the show, which was Daenerys going crazy and starting to murder people. That's because Daenerys turn to darkness wasn't about her character at all, it was just making her into a plot device to move their bad idea for a plot forward. That's why the turn is so unnatural and makes little sense with her character, that's why it's so rushed.

That's also why it's ableist, because it's using mental illness as a plot device to make a character unsympathetic and monstrous and give the other characters a reason to put them down.

The same for Azula, outside of one scene where he's talking to her mother, Azula's mental illness manifests in her screaming, maniacally laughing, looking like the joker did her makeup, and her instability also makes her violent and dangerous to be around. (Ignoring the fact that most people who experience delusions in real life are harmless, and more likely to be the victims of violence).

Her sudden mental illness isn't even used to make her more sympathetic in say Zuko's eyes and make him realize she's a victim, no it's just there to nerf her so she can be violently put down. The way she's drawn, the way she acts, it's to paint her as monstrous as possible. Her last action is like sobbing and screaming while being drawn as ugly as possible. She's not even given a small hope for recovery, because it just ends there. That's a pretty great message to send people that experience delusions, not only will you not recover or be shown sympathy, you'll also get sent to a mental asylum for the rest of your life. The choice for both Azula and Dany is not to portray any kind of mental illness in a respectful way, but to make a plot point happen.

As I said I expect Dany to die in the books, but there's a difference between dying as a tragic hero succumbing to your flaws but still having your good intentions acknowledged and just turning into a villain for no reason and being put down like a rabid dog.

(This is a quote I stole from a Shigaraki post but): "Why does she need to be put down in the first place, she has trauma, not rabies."

The problem isn't bad thing happened to my favorite character, the problem with the ending is it doesn't take Dany's setup into consideration.

Stealing from @hamliet again:

The thing about tragedies is that you have to manage expectations and clearly show that your tragic hero is doomed from the very early on–ie you have to show them making steadily worse and worse decisions (see: Eren Jaeger in SnK), if not directly tell your audience at the very beginning that this is a tragic story (ie see Greek choruses and Shakespeare, the prequels from Star Wars because everyone knows Anakin is Vader–plus I’d argue Anakin’s arc only works because we know he comes back to the light in the end. Audiences don’t like reversing on set up/undoing structure. To make Dany a tragic villain is to go against the structure of her arc in both show and book. That’s why people don’t like it, even if the books makes it seem more believable.

Kate then goes onto describe a character that's much more comparable to Azula's. Honestly Arianne is closer to Azula than Daenerys is.

You know who is set up as a tragic heroine destined to descend and die because of her flaws in the books, whose arc has almost certainly been combined with Dany’s in some sense in the show? Arianne Martell. (and another character known as f!Aegon) In the books, Arianne is incredibly ambitious, and especially resents her brother and his quest for power. Like Margaery (another tragic character), Arianne seeks power and is intelligent and manipulative in her quest for it. But Margaery’s fatal mistake is that in seeking power and prestige, she’s become more a pawn than anything else for a villain (Cersei). She chose to play with lions, and she’ll be torn apart; that’s not surprising. Arianne, as her chapters hint, is going to almost certainly marry f!Aegon, playing with fire, and die burning for it. Arianne’s grasping for her own power is never portrayed as cruel or stupid like the main human villain (Cersei); on the contrary, we empathize with a girl who truly cares about her people, but resents her father’s preferential treatment towards her brother. That’s the difference between Arianne and Cersei: Arianne cares. She is not cruel. But her pride is still going to get her killed.

There's a lot of game of throne females you could compare Azula to because GOT is full of queens, but like. Azula may be a tragic villain firmly on the side of the antagonists but she's not Cerseie. She's not queen, she doesn't wield the power that Cersei wields. In fact one of Azula's downfalls is finding out she doesn't have as much power as she thought she had, and ultimately was just a tool of her fathers.

She's not Rhaenyra or Alicent, because yes she may be grabbing for power but her character isn't affected by misogyny. Because once again, the writers simply didn't think about misogyny except for a really surface level "girls can be just as strong as boys" way so we really have no idea how women are seen in the fire nation. The show doesn't really explore if being a woman makes things harder, or makes people treat her differently than Zuko because the writers just didn't consider Azula's perspcetive on that matter.

Azula is alike to Danaerys in several ways, but as I said I think her ultimate end comes from Azula understimating her own importance in her father's eyes, and quickly realizing when her father is her only family left she never had his love or loyalty in the first place.

But Margaery’s fatal mistake is that in seeking power and prestige, she’s become more a pawn than anything else for a villain (Cersei). She chose to play with lions, and she’ll be torn apart; that’s not surprising.

Azula's most famous quote is about how Long Feng isn't even a player, only to find out her father considered her a pawn from the beginning and be broken by the revelation.

The difference being of course that Avatar is not Game of Thrones and it won't even kill the evil fascist dictator so it doesn't make a lot of sense to hand Azula the ending that Arianne got. They have the same fatal flaw.

Anyway, I made this big post but I can explain why Azula's tragic ending down't work in one sentence.

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER IS NOT A TRAGEDY.

Maybe the reason Azula should get redeemed is because THE SHOW IS ABOUT F&%CKING REDEMPTION.

#bnha meta #mha meta #atla meta #azula meta #azula #princess azula #dabi #toya todoroki #shoto todoroki #azula redemption

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fic-over-cannon · 8 months

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Jason Todd that’s so used to feeling second best that he can’t quite believe it when someone chooses him. Sheila never wanted him, gave him up the first chance she got. Catherine never managed to pick him over the drugs (and he knows now that that’s not how addiction works but he was a child watching the only person who loved him love what was killing her more). Bruce picked him up as an afterthought, another poor little orphan boy to always fail at filling the shoes of the first. He’s barely cold in his grave when there’s another, better version already standing next Bruce. The Titans couldn’t see past the legacy Dick left behind, constantly compared Jason to him as the less adequate model; barely sufficient, much less welcomed. Jason wants so badly to be chosen first but time and experience has only ever taught him otherwise.

Jason falls in love with you, but he can never fully believe that the love is returned fully. He’s so eager to be your only choice that he’s terrified of when you’ll eventually pick someone else over him. He wants to be greedy, drink up the experience and novelty until he’s sick on it, but he can’t. Can’t help that creeping sense that your love and attention is in finite supply, unseen deadline looming closer. He’s always got one foot out the door, unable to fully commit to a relationship when he’s bracing for the blow of you leaving. Sure that one day you’ll finally see all the flaws that make him not enough, the flaws that everyone else in his life have already discovered. Convinces himself that there’s a middle ground, one where he gets to love you but at a distance that means the leaving won’t hurt so much. But that means always holding the two of you on edge, the pressure and expectation of your choice lingering and twisting until the two of you are no longer what you were in the beginning. To know when he gets too close, he has to constantly be re-evaluating your relationship. Every moment spent together waiting for you to flinch, to waver in your commitment to him, and ready to act when he sees it. Believes that if he’s the one holding the knife, it won’t cut as deep.

He can’t see that everyday you wake up and choose him, that your love has always been a choice you are willing to make for him. Everyday you have to bear the weight of his scrutiny and it is exhausting. You know he’ll never fully trust you because he can’t believe you won’t leave first. That he’ll never fully open up to you, because he doesn’t want to hand you weapons to hurt him with, to make you reconsider choosing him. You know that if you push him on this, he’ll only interpret it as the first stages of you leaving. You’d thought that with time and proof he’d start to believe. To choose you and your love as much as you’ve chosen him.

Now, now you are trapped in a cage of your own collaborative making. If you leave now, you’ll only have proven his greatest insecurity all along. If you stay, this love will continue to fester like a wound. There is no outcome where you both come out unscathed.

#the jason todd thesis for ydcmb (uibyt)#this is a man in desperate need of therapy #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd headcanon #jason todd imagine #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x gender neutral reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x male reader #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd fic #sunnie writes 🌻#snack fic

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fluentmoviequoter · 11 months

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One More Favor

Pairing: Titans!Dick Grayson x fem!reader (most of this fic takes place in/around Titans 1x2)

Summary: When Dick takes Rachel out of Detroit, he needs help, but he'll have to call in a few favors first.

Word Count: 5.0k+ words

Warnings: POV changes (that hopefully make sense), fluff, a little bit of angst, descriptions of injuries/self-harm (reader cuts her arm open to remove a tracker), several descriptive fight scenes, guns?, spoiler for Titans.

A/N: This is my first Dick Grayson fic, and I actually wrote it several months ago and just got around the editing it. Dick may be OOC, but I hope you enjoy this and please let me know what you think!

Masterlist | DC/Dick Grayson Masterlist | Request Info (OPEN)

Gotham City - 4 Years Ago

The heavy door creaks as it is pulled open, warm air blowing out into the cold rain. You step inside, dropping your umbrella in the overflowing bin and wiping your shoes on the mat. Shivering slightly, you run your hands up and down your arms, attempting to warm up.

“Hi, Alfred,” you greet as you look over at him, your smile dropping at the solemn look on his face. “What happened?”

“Master Grayson left last night. He left you this,” Alfred answers as he hands you an envelope, your name written in Dick’s handwriting across the front.

“He’s not coming back, is he?” you ask, tears welling in your eyes.

“I’m afraid not. Would you like some tea?”

“No, thank you, Alfred. I’m going to go home,” you say as you pull the door open and step out, waiting for the door to close behind you. You take a deep breath and start running, not even thinking about the umbrella you left. As your tears mix with the rain on your skin, your heart feels about as warm as the Gotham City air.

Fremont, Ohio - Present Day

“Where are you taking me?” Rachel asks, spinning one of her rings on her finger as she looks out the window.

“To see an old friend. She can help us,” Dick answers, his knuckles white as he grips the steering wheel.

An hour later, Dick checks his phone while he waits in the car as Rachel goes into a truck stop. He tracks her through the window as he dials a number he hasn’t called in years. It rings several times, and he thinks he won’t get an answer.

“Hello?” A voice asks as the line connects.

“Hi, Alfred, it’s me.”

“It’s been a long time, Master Grayson.”

“I know. This is a one-time thing; I need a favor.”

Omar, Ohio – Present Day

You enter the diner, sighing as you fall into a booth. Looking up at the television mounted in the corner, you see a story about yet another murder in Detroit. It’s almost as bad as Gotham City these days.

“How’s my favorite customer today?” Dan asks as he walks to the booth, his apron still on.

“I’ll bet you say that to all of your customers,” you counter with a smile, your hood still pulled over your head.

“I most certainly do not. What can I get you today?”

“Just some tea, please.”

“You need to eat.”

“Will you let me pay?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“I’m not letting you give me free food every day, Dan. Just tea.”

“Fine,” Dan sighs, returning to the kitchen and passing your order to a waitress.

The bell above the door chimes as it opens, a few sets of footsteps echoing as the door closes. You pull your hood up further, turning to face the back corner. Kelsey, Dan’s only waitress at this hour, drops off the mug of tea and a book, smiling at you as she walks away. She’s been lending you books since you first visited two months ago. You slide it closer, shaking your head as you read the summary: a vigilante who gets a new partner. Sounds familiar.

Benton, Pennsylvania – 3 ½ Years Ago

You take a deep breath before you dig the knife into your arm, making a shallow slice from the middle of your forearm up to your elbow. After you drop the knife into the hotel bathroom sink, you grab a pair of tweezers from the first aid kit and dig around, gritting your teeth as you ignore the pain. When you finally see a glint of silver, you grab it and pull. The tracker makes a ‘clink’ sound as it falls into the sink and goes down the drain. You sigh as you pick up the pre-threaded needle and start on the stitches. Good luck finding me now, Bruce.

Norwalk, Ohio – Earlier Today

“If the police are looking for me, is it smart to be on an interstate?” Rachel asks.

Dick sighs, knowing she is right. He pulls off at the next exit, getting on a small Ohio state route and heading south. They drive for about thirty minutes before coming to a small diner, claiming to have the state’s best chicken and waffles. Dick is ready for a break, so he doesn’t fight Rachel when she asks him to stop. They walk into the diner, and Dick looks around, planning escape routes and scanning for trouble. The waitress and the cook both say hello as Dick and Rachel sit by the window, the kitchen and the door visible. Dick looks at the only other customer, a girl in an oversized sweatshirt leaning over a book and nursing a mug of something.

“I’m Kelsey. What can I get you, folks?” Kelsey smiles as she approaches their table.

“Chicken and waffles, please,” Rachel orders.

“Coming up, and for you, sir?”

“Just coffee,” Dick answers, smiling.

Dick watches as the cook takes the order from Kelsey before nodding toward the girl in the booth. Kelsey walks over and starts talking to her, but Dick can’t tell if it is a friendly conversation or a ‘you need to leave’ conversation. Kelsey’s shoulders drop as she turns around and walks back to the kitchen pass-through, shaking her head as she speaks to the cook. A plate and a mug slide onto the counter, and Kelsey carries them over to Dick and Rachel, telling them to let her know if they need anything.

“What are you looking at?” Rachel asks.

“I’m trying to figure out what’s going on over there,” Dick answers, gesturing across the restaurant with his chin.

Rachel looks over and cocks her head slightly, “Kelsey’s happy but a little worried, the other one is really hard to read.”

Dick nods, sipping his coffee as he looks up at the television screen. His heart drops as Rachel’s picture appears on the screen, but it is gone before he can say anything. Dick looks toward the kitchen, but no one is there. Turning his head, he sees the cook talking to the other customer, sitting at the booth with her. Kelsey and the cook stand, and the cook returns to the kitchen as Kelsey walks toward their table.

“How is everything?” Kelsey asks.

“Great. Those were definitely the best in the state,” Rachel answers.

“Need anything else?”

“Just the check,” Dick answers, reaching for his wallet.

“It’s been covered,” Kelsey assures before clearing the table.

“By who?” Dick asks, eyebrows furrowing as Kelsey smiles.

The girl in the booth looks up suddenly, leaning to look out the window. She stands and moves toward Kelsey, telling her something before walking out the back door, the book she had been reading abandoned at the booth. Kelsey whispers something to Dan before turning quickly to walk back to Dick and Rachel.

“Someone is here for her,” Kelsey says to Dick, gesturing toward Rachel, “there’s a room through the kitchen with a back door.”

Dick and Rachel stand quickly, following her through the kitchen. They all freeze at the sound of gunshots, then begin moving again.

“Why are you helping us?” Dick asks.

“Favor for a friend,” Kelsey answers as she opens the back door. “Be careful.”

Dick nods as he ushers Rachel to stand on one side of him, gripping his gun in his other hand as they slowly round the building. The girl in the sweatshirt, who Dick really needs a new name for, is standing in the parking lot, a pipe falling from her hand and three unconscious men sprawled on the ground around her. She looks up before dropping her head, putting her hands in her pocket, and walking away. Dick hears one of the men groan and decides to leave before they come to. Rachel keeps asking him if he knows the girl, and the only answer he can supply is, “I don’t think so.” Maybe he should make it his new catchphrase.

Gotham City – 4 Years Ago

You enter your apartment and grab your backpack, dumping its contents out on the floor before you run around and grab what you consider “essentials”: an extra pair of shoes, a change of clothes, cash, a fake ID, a sweatshirt, a blanket, and the letter from Dick. You slide the letter into the protected laptop pocket of my backpack, promising yourself you will read it someday, but not right now. You put on your best pair of sneakers, comfortable and warm clothes, and a jacket with a hood before walking to the ATM, emptying your account, and ditching your card before boarding a bus to Princeton. As you watch Gotham City fade behind the bus, you cry because you lost a part of yourself, and you know it would hurt too much to see reminders of him. So, you leave.

Glen Easton, West Virginia – 2 Years Ago

You check into the small motel with cash and a fake ID, grateful you can sleep in a real bed for once. You find your room and collapse against the small mattress, setting your backpack beside the bed. You open it and pull out a change of clothes before showering. The letter from Dick is still in the computer pocket, unopened. When you think you are finally ready to open it, you get scared about what is inside it and change your mind.

You retrieve the sweatshirt from the bottom of the backpack and put it on. Then you order a pizza and turn on the TV. The sweatshirt is the only thing that provides you comfort after leaving Gotham City. You left everything that tied you to that life, except the sweatshirt, and nights like this make you wish you had realized Dick was going to leave and chased him.

Omar, Ohio – Present Day

“Why are we driving around in circles? I thought you were taking me somewhere?” Rachel asks.

“I’m looking for the girl that helped us,” Dick mumbles as he looks across the street.

“Oh,” Rachel says with a smile.

“What does that mean?”

“You’ve felt different since you saw her in the diner.”

“She just reminded me of someone I used to know.”

“Someone you knew. Seems like a lot more emotion than simple acquaintances.”

“Fine, we were best friends. We did- some stuff together and we were super close,” Dick said, failing to find a way to explain their vigilante activities.

“You did stuff together?” Rachel repeats incredulously.

“Not like that,” Dick huffs. “We just- she was my best friend, and I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Why?”

“I left.”

“You left her?”

“I didn’t leave her; I left the life I had then.”

“And by extension, her,” Rachel scoffs. “Why haven’t you called her?”

“I tried, once. Her number had been disconnected and I didn’t know her new one. Or if she even wanted to talk to me.”

“Surely you know someone who would’ve stayed in contact with her. Call them.”

Dick sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He does know someone.

“Right now,” Rachel adds, “I can feel your sadness and it’s bumming me out.”

Dick pulls over, pulling his phone from his pocket and typing the number. “It’s me again. I need one more favor,” he says when the line connects.

“Of course, Master Grayson,” Alfred agrees.

“I’m looking for,” he glances at Rachel, who is listening intently, before finishing, “her. I was wondering if you had a new number for her. Or know where she is?”

“Master Grayson,” Alfred says sadly, “we haven’t seen her in four years.”

“Four years?” Dick asks, eyes widening.

“Yes, sir. She left right after you did.”

“Did you give her the letter?”

“I did. She ran out of the manor, literally, after I gave it to her. We have not heard from her since.”

“Any idea where she went?”

“Last we knew she was in Benton, Pennsylvania. But that was nearly three and a half years ago. I’m sorry, Master Grayson.”

“Thanks, Alfred,” Dick says before hanging up.

“Sorry,” Rachel says quietly, “I shouldn’t have made you call.”

“Not your fault,” Dick assures her before pulling out. He slams on his brakes and backs up, turning into an alley and parking.

“What?” Rachel yells, gripping her seat.

“I think she’ll go back to the diner, they seemed to know her. Enough to give us free food on her behalf.”

“That’s what you think happened?” Rachel asks sarcastically.

“You’re the one that read their emotions.”

Rachel sighs before agreeing, “You’re right. She’ll go back.”

They find a small motel and get a room for the night, leaving their stuff in the room before returning to the diner. Entering, Dick and Rachel look around but only see the cook and a different waitress.

“Welcome back,” the cook, who introduces himself as Dan, greets.

“Hi, Dan. We’re looking for the girl who was in here this morning. She was wearing a grey sweatshirt, reading a book, and left quickly out the back door,” Dick explains.

“Yeah, I know her. Why are you looking for her?”

“She helped you. That’s why you’re so nice to her, if not a little protective, isn’t it?” Rachel asks.

Dan’s brow furrows as he answers, “Yes, she helped me.”

“We’re not trying to hurt her or get her in trouble or anything. She helped us this morning and we’d like to repay the favor,” Dick promises. “Could you at least give us her name?”

“I don’t know her name,” Dan answers. “But she’ll probably come back here in the morning.”

“Thank you,” Dick and Rachel say together.

The following morning, Dick checks out of the motel and drives to the diner. They both look to the booth where she sat yesterday as they walk in, frowning when they see no one there. Kelsey smiles as she greets them and takes their order, exactly as they had yesterday. Dick spins his mug around as he watches the television, trying to keep himself from staring at the door.

“Dick,” Rachel whispers a few minutes later. She gestures toward the counter, where the girl is now sitting, wearing the same sweatshirt as yesterday.

Before Dick can do anything, Dan’s voice fills the diner. “All three of you need to get somewhere safe. Everyone in town is talking about some secret service agents asking about you folks.”

“All of us?” The girl in the sweatshirt asks.

“You know how these people feel about cops, but they’ll come in here eventually and you don’t need to be here,” Dan says.

“11 North Country Road 29,” the girl in the sweatshirt calls as she stands, “you got that?”

“Yeah, we got it,” Rachel answers, practically dragging Dick to the front door.

Dick gets in the car and speeds toward the address, hoping that the girl in the sweatshirt will meet them there. And give them her name. He parks between the house and a row of trees, where the car is hidden from the road. The back door is unlocked, and Dick sweeps the house before ushering Rachel in. Several minutes later, the back door opens again, and the girl in the sweatshirt walks in, coming face-to-muzzle with Dick’s gun. Her hands are raised as he lowers the gun.

“Sorry,” Dick apologizes as he holsters it.

“Not a problem. I’d give it a few hours before leaving,” the girl says, moving past them.

“Thank you. For yesterday and right now,” Rachel says.

“Least I could do. I’ll be in the back room if you need anything.”

Rachel waits until she is out of earshot to turn toward Dick and ask, “She really reminds you of this girl doesn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Dick sighs. “That obvious?”

“Your shame is practically choking me. Why did you hurt her?"

“I didn’t mean to.”

“That’s not an excuse, Dick.”

Rachel walks toward the back room, determined to find a way to help Dick get over his hurt.

Omar, Ohio – 2 Months Ago

“Take your hands off the girl,” you demand as you enter the dark room.

Three men turn toward you, one raising a gun as the others take a step closer. You see a girl tied to a chair, a gag in her mouth, blood everywhere, and fear in her eyes.

“You don’t know who you’re messing with, sweetheart,” the man with the gun growls.

“Right back at ya,” you say, taking a threatening step toward him.

The two other men charge toward you. You catch one of their fists as they throw it toward you, twisting him in front of you to encounter the brunt of the other man’s hit as he throws it. Their shared momentum knocks them both to the floor. You slide across the floor, elbowing the third man’s knee as you grab his hand, flipping his wrist so the gun falls to the floor. You pick it up and level it at his temple.

“One more time: let the girl go,” you demand slowly.

One of the men on the floor throws a knife, which spins in the air and nicks your arm. You glance toward him before swinging the gun and taking three shots, taking out one knee on every man. As they groan in pain and roll on the floor, you untie the girl and ask her where to go. She directs me to her father’s diner.

“I’m looking for Dan,” you say as you carry her through the back door.

Dan comes running, grabbing his first aid kit as he sits beside her. “Your arm needs attention?” he asks as he points to your scarred forearm and the small bloody patch from the knife.

“No, I’m all good. Thank you.” You begin to stand, but he stops you, refusing to let you leave until you eat something.

“You’ll never pay here. Come back anytime,” Dan says when you leave an hour later.

Omar, Ohio – Present Day

“Sorry about him,” Rachel says as she walks into the back room.

“It’s completely fine.” The girl in the sweatshirt laughs softly, her hand playing with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rachel says as she sits in a chair across from her.

“How long have they been looking for you?”

“About a week. Since they killed my mom.”

“I’m sorry.”

Rachel shrugs. “Just so you know, the guy I’m with, Dick, he’s a cop. And he’s not usually this weird.”

She laughs again, looking up long enough that Rachel can see her face.

“You remind him of someone he used to know.”

She shakes her head before changing the subject. “You’re Rachel, right? I’m assuming you can do something, otherwise, they wouldn’t be looking for you.”

“I can feel what other people are feeling. There’s something inside of me, but I don’t know what it is.”

“Rachel, you can learn to control it. It’s obvious you’re a good person.”

“I tried to read your emotions at the diner yesterday,” Rachel admits, “but you have a lot, and they were overlapping.”

“A lot has happened to me in the last few years. I don’t even know what I’m feeling all the time.”

“They’re clearer now. You’re sad and regretful,” Rachel says quietly.

“I don’t care that you’re looking, Rach. The more you use your powers, the better you’ll get at them. And you’re dead on.”

“Sometimes, when I touch people I can see some of their memories,” Rachel explains.

The girl in the sweatshirt smiles. “You don’t even know my name.”

“What’s your name?”

She extends her hand and answers, “Find out.”

Gotham City is cold in winter, and the freezing rain is not helping the temperature issue. Robin is fighting behind me, our backs touching as we take down the last of the numerous bad guys.

“Nice work,” Robin says as he smiles at me. “But you’re cold, stop touching me.”

“Oh? I am cold? Your Kevlar is practically frozen,” I respond sarcastically.

He pulls me into his side, pressing the button on his belt to turn on his cape heater.

The setting changes: a large door opens, and an umbrella is placed in a bin, destined to be forgotten.

“-left last night. He left you this.”

An envelope trades hands, and a name is written on it. The door is opened and closed, then running in the rain gives way to stressed packing and boarding a bus. The same envelope is unopened years later, a new scar appears on a forearm, the same backpack is stashed in a motel, and a sweatshirt is the most prized possession.

Omar, Ohio – Present Day

“It was you,” Rachel says, her eyes wide as her hand slips from yours.

“What was?” you ask.

“You’re the girl Dick left, the one he’s feeling so guilty and sad about.”

“He what?”

“He saw you in the diner and was reminded of a girl he used to know. He said they ‘did stuff together.’ You don’t look like that girl; you are that girl.”

“What did you see?” you ask, confused about how exactly her powers work.

“I see some of the most important things in your life. I saw you fighting with Robin and then learning that someone left. You’ve been on the run since then, haven’t you? And the sweatshirt means something.”

“What do you know about Robin?”

“I know who he is. I know what he went through. I think you two should talk.”

A noise outside causes you to stand suddenly. “Stay here.”

You walk out, seeing Dick holding his gun as he moves toward a window. You move to the other side of the room, by another door, and stand against the wall as the door is kicked open. A hand holding a gun comes inside; you grab the wrist and slam it down against your knee. The gun hits the floor and slides away. The man raises both hands to your shoulders, pushing you backward and into the wall. You form a fist and slam it up into his chin, his head snapping back as his grip on you loosens. While you fight him, Dick takes on a second man who enters the house.

Dick moves behind the door, grabbing the man’s shirt collar and flipping him to the floor. He attempts to get information from him but comes up empty. Slamming his fist to his nose repeatedly, Dick doesn’t stop until the man loses consciousness. He looks over and sees the girl in the sweatshirt standing from the floor, wiping blood from her nose.

“That was impressive. You two could be partners,” Rachel says as she walks in, smirking as she looks over at you.

Dick opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him off, telling them, “You two should get out of here while you still can.”

“I’m not leaving,” Rachel says, crossing her arms. “Not until you two talk.”

“About what?” Dick asks.

“Rachel,” you warn.

“She’s right. We do need to get going.”

“Show him.”

“Either we need to leave, or I need more information,” Dick sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

A phone rings in the back room, and you walk away to answer it, releasing a breath as you realize it was Kelsey.

“What was that about?” Dick whispers.

“You two have to talk before you never get a chance again,” Rachel says.

“Someone broke into your house and assaulted several officers,” you say as you return, “the police are calling a nationwide manhunt for you, Rachel.”

“I am not leaving without you,” she says, stepping toward you and grabbing your hand.

Her eyes fall to the sleeve before she glances up at you and pushes the sleeve up. You push it back down quickly and look away from her.

“I can’t go with you,” you say sadly, shaking your head.

“You can if you want to,” Dick offers, “you’ve been a huge help.”

You look toward Rachel, who only nods as she squeezes your hand.

“Just tell him,” Rachel whispers.

You take a deep breath before you look up and pull your hood down. “Hi, Dickie.”

Dick’s eyes widen as he takes a hesitant step forward.

“Rachel said I remind you of someone,” you say. “I thought-“

Dick cuts you off by rushing forward and hugging you tightly. You return the hug, gripping him tightly and burying your face in his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I left,” Dick whispers.

“It’s okay.”

“Tell him everything else,” Rachel encourages from beside you.

You squeeze Dick one more time before pulling back and saying, “I left Gotham City after you did. Alfred gave me the letter and I just ran. I’ve been in a bunch of small cities since then, but nowhere as long as here. I saved Dan’s daughter from some kidnappers and just stayed for some reason.”

“Alfred said he didn’t know where you went after Benton,” Dick says.

“I cut my tracker out in Benton,” you explain, pulling your sleeve up and exposing the scar.

He reaches forward and gently runs his fingers up the scar. “Tracker?”

“Right. Bruce told me he sedated you when he gave you yours, something about you being too excited about being in the bat cave.”

“He put a tracker in me?”

“He put trackers in all of us.”

The phone rings twice before silencing. “That’s our cue to leave,” you say.

Columbus, Ohio – 1 Week Later

“How’s your arm?” you ask as you enter the room.

“Healing quickly,” Dick answers, smiling as he looks up at you from the hotel bed.

“Looks good,” you say, gently holding his arm, “yours probably won’t scar.”

“Pizza’s here,” Rachel calls as someone knocks on the door.

Dick answers the door and gets the pizza while you and Rachel get drinks from the mini-fridge. You all sit on the small couch as you eat, and you can’t help but think of old times. The following morning, you, Dick, and Rachel load into Dick’s car and drive toward Covington.

“Are you going to tell him?” Rachel asks as we wait in the car while Dick goes into a police station.

“Tell him what?’

“That you still love him.”

“I-“

“I can feel it. I could feel it when he was Robin and when you found out he left, in the safe house, and right now.”

“I don’t know, Rach.”

Dick sighs as he gets back in the car. “I got the description of the woman who broke into the crime scene.”

“Where to now?” you ask.

“Arcade. 5 miles north,” Rachel answers.

You laugh lightly as you shrug at Dick.

“An hour,” Dick says as he puts the car in gear.

“And a half,” you and Rachel correct together.

You give her some cash before you and Dick find a seat where you can see the entire arcade.

“You’re good with her,” you say as you steal a fry from his plate.

He playfully swats your hand away before moving his plate closer. “So are you,” he agrees.

You watch Rachel for a moment before looking down at your sweatshirt sleeve.

“Are you okay?” Dick asks, his hand landing on your arm.

“Yeah,” you say with a nod, still looking down. “This sweatshirt is the only connection I’ve had to you for the last four years.”

“What?”

You extend your arm toward him, watching his face as he grabs your wrist and looks at the sleeve, his initials and a small Robin messily embroidered on it.

“You kept it?” he asks.

“Of course, I did.”

“Mine’s in the trunk of my car,” he admits, smiling as he looks back up at you.

“Really?”

“You think that I’d leave it after all the hard work we put into them? I couldn’t leave it behind; it felt like leaving you behind. I tried to call you.”

“I left my phone; didn’t want Bruce to come after me.”

“Why does Rachel keep telling you to talk to me?”

You laugh before answering, “There’s something I haven’t told you and she wants me to.”

“What?”

“That I’m in love with you,” you whisper, looking into his eyes.

Dick is silent as he stares at you, his hand still wrapped around your wrist.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said any-“

Dick pulls your wrist gently, slamming his lips to yours. His other hand raises and wraps around the base of your neck, pulling you closer. You move your hands to his waist, pulling yourself closer to him as you kiss him like he’s your source of life.

“I take it you told him,” Rachel says, suddenly standing on the other side of the table.

Dick pulls back, smiling at you before saying, “Shut up, Rachel.”

“I’m out of money.”

Dick pulls a fifty from his wallet, handing it to her and smiling in gratitude as she walks away. She nods and returns the smile.

“I love you,” Dick says.

“I love you,” you respond, stealing another one of his fries.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. I wanted to find you but had no idea where to look.”

“Rachel was right. We could be partners. Again.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. Grayson,” you smile before kissing him again.

“You didn’t read the letter did you?”

“I couldn’t,” you admit, shaking your head, “hurt too much. Why?”

“I wrote it to tell you I loved you. I wanted to take you with me but was scared.”

“I guess I should read it then, because I love you, too, Dickie.”

You and Dick watch as Rachel walks toward you, a tall woman with bright Magenta hair on one side and a green-haired boy on her other side.

When they reach the table, Rachel says, “This is Kory and Gar. They have some interesting stories.”

“This feels familiar,” you mutter to Dick as you stand up.

“I’m gonna need a bigger car,” Dick says as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x female!reader #dick grayson fluff #dick grayson fanfiction #dick grayson fic #titans!dick grayson #dc titans #fem!reader

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callie-the-creator · 5 months

Text

bertholdt dating a deaf reader would include...

sfw. warnings: mentions of bullying.

author’s note: this was posted on my wattpad, so there is no need to worry if you see it there. other than that, there is nothing else to add!

• in all honesty, how it was revealed that you were deaf was a little embarrassing. it happened during the first day of the cadet corps when everyone was being debriefed and publicly humiliated in front of each other because commander shadis wanted to ensure every abled person was morphed into a model soldier. it didn't take long for it to be your turn.

— "sorry, sir! i can't hear you!" shadis, at first, thought you were being a smartass and before he could yell at you some more, you added, "i'm deaf!"

— "then why the hell are you here?!"

• from there, you explained that you wanted to not so much fight for humanity by physically driving the titans back but stay back and help formulate strategies and plans.

• fortunately, shadis was merciful enough to let you stay, though it took some convincing. that and once his superiors heard about your case, they were torn but eventually you were allowed to train with the others.

• alas, you were completely oblivious to some of the bullying happening behind your back...

• you struggle with communication and social skills, such as simply not understanding a joke that everyone else is laughing at. when that is happening, you usually write down on a piece of paper to ask just what is so funny, but they usually brush you off by either ignoring you, saying "oh, it's nothing", or something of that nature.

• the first few months were hell on earth for you. if anything, you preferred the physical training over anything because that meant you wouldn't have to worry about trying to communicate with any of the other cadets since the same can't be said about sparring or the wasteland excursion training (an exercise where the cadets are split into two groups and make a round trip through the wasteland. they leave the training base at the same time on separate routes, retrieve an object at the checkpoint, and return to base. they exercise aims to test their vigilance in tedious, low-risk situations).

• in terms of bullying, you experienced quite a variety of things. being ostracized, taken advantage of when it came to sparring or other team activities since everyone knew you were at a disadvantage, or people trying to talk to you but you didn't know what they were talking about.

— "can she seriously not hear a thing?"

— "what a weirdo."

— "hey, y/n, can you even speak?"

• bertholdt didn't like how differently everyone was treating you just because you have a disability, it reminded him all too much of his father and the prejudice eldians face from marleyans. so, when he's finally had enough, he steps forward and tells everyone to cut it out. from there, he becomes friends with you and follows you everywhere to help you in any way he can.

— of course, this didn't blow well over with annie or reiner because bertholdt is sympathetic toward the enemy but it's not like they could stop him.

• it's from there where bertholdt did things like open the door for you, carry your things, intentionally pick you to be his partner in sparring so no one else would be rude toward you, try his best to translate things if someone was trying to talk to you (by writing down on a piece of paper).

• obviously, it didn't take long for you to develop feelings for him and the same can be said for bertholdt! ☺️

— he thought you were so sweet and precious...you needed to be protected and although he wasn't the best option for this, he still wanted to do his best to make you feel safe.

• so...within a few weeks, you two started going out! bertholdt couldn't care less about the stares he got— he was used to them— but if you ever pointed it out, he would make up excuses to make it seem like the judgmental glares were aimed toward him and not you. it wasn't like he wasn't used to it already and the last thing he wanted was to see you unhappy.

• a few years went by and close to graduation, shadis gathered everyone to tell them that the government had been working on a way to communicate with the hearing-impaired. sign language. shadis said it would be easier to talk to you that way. many people were against learning it because they thought of it as a waste of their time, saying that they had enough issues learning the specifics of titan killing.

— all in all, the only people that were willing to learn— aside from you— were christa, mikasa, bertholdt, armin, and connie & sasha (even though they can be a bunch of numbskulls at times).

• bertholdt spent many nights trying to perfect his sign language. it sort of pissed off some of the other guys in the cabin because of just how late he would stay up! he can't remember how many times he's accidentally pulled an all-nighter and only knew when he heard the bell for muster.

• when he signed to you the first time during supper, he was so nervous, afraid that he might offend you if he messed up any of the signs but was relieved and proud of himself when you understood him and offered to teach him some more which he gleefully agreed to.

• bertholdt likes that you two have this language that not everyone in the cadet corps can understand, that way he can be cute with you without the other boys knowing and making fun of him for it

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spaceprincessem · 2 months

Text

another coda for robstar week!! i love robin angst (he makes it so easy). this is after the first red x episode and since this is based of favorite quotes in centers a little around robin and starfire's conversation where she calls him out on his behavior @robxstar

day 6 - favorite quotes

i'm addicted to disastrous thinking

Robin is an early riser.

Or, well, he usually is.

Sleeping in was a luxury he gave up a long time ago, because there was always work to be done. Training, profiling, researching, or patrolling; it never seemed to end. Under Batman his schedule was strict and rigid, leaving no room to keep his eyes closed past sunrise.

With the Titans he’s learned to let himself bend a little more. Living with four other teenagers with varying preferences for sleeping allowed the rigidity of his former upbringing to ease. He’s still an early riser, partially because he likes the quietness the morning brings. He can sip his coffee and watch the sunrise as he boots the computer and starts his day.

Raven is another early morning Titan, their routines steadily circling around each other the longer they live together. Raven always beat him to starting the coffee pot, but he graciously learn how she took her cup — two scoops of sugar, no cream.

Cyborg and Starfire awoke around the same time, about an hour after he and Raven, but still early enough that the coffee was still warm and the rest of the city began to spring into life; the hum of the morning commute flitting over the ocean. Beast Boy slept in the latest, joining them at the tail end of breakfast.

This morning, though, Robin knows he’s the last one to crawl out of bed.

It’s not surprising, all things considered.

Last night’s battle was hell and he’s still actively punishing himself for the stupid Red X plan that fell apart nearly a week ago.

He knows that, no matter what, his team will always have his back, even when he doesn’t deserve it. They’re better than that, though, and Robin will be forever grateful for their never ending grace they extend to him. They haven’t really talked all that much outside of training and battle which Robin can’t exactly fault them for.

He betrayed their trust and pushed them away. He let Slade dig in too deep, blinding him to just how much he would hurt the people he cared about most simply because he thought he was being clever. Even if the plan had worked he hardly doubts he’d come out unscathed.

Stopping Slade wouldn’t negate the fact that he lied to his team.

He’s been yelled at before, even Batman loses his temper, but coming from his friends cut deep. He let them fire away, knew that it was for the best, and anxiously waited for Starfire to take her turn, bracing himself for the inevitable final blow.

You want to yell at me too?

He shouldn’t have been surprised that Starfire would take him apart so quietly. Her hurt and disappointment was worse than anything else the others said. The last thing he ever wanted to do was let her down.

Forgiveness isn’t easily earned, but it's just a matter of time, because the Titans were his friends and they loved him. But he couldn’t ignore the itch beneath his skin, the need to do something, repent or maybe to just give penance.

He doesn’t mind taking some of the harder hits in exchange for his team’s safety despite being the most human out of all of them. Last night was particularly awful and he sheepishly let them finish off the bad guy when his rib made a disturbing cracking sound when he was body slammed into a car.

He stands in front of his bathroom mirror, shirtless, staring at the blooming hues of black and blues across his abdomen. Thank god for Raven and her healing abilities. An accident like that with Batman would have put him out for a week.

He presses on the bruise, biting down on the hiss before it can escape past his lips. His fingers are cold as he digs in a little more, letting the pain remind him that his actions have consequences.

His eyes flutter close and he can’t help, but imagine Starfire’s frown, her eyebrows knitting together as her entire face twists with something sad. It’s rare to see her that way; she’s usually the sun, bright, happy, and warm.

She’d watch him press down on the same spot last night, right after Raven had healed it because he felt like his pain was absolved too soon. Her fingers, gentle and always radiating heat like a fire, pulled his hand away.

“Don’t,” she whispers, “no more punishment.”

He shivers just thinking about her touch and slowly eases up on his bruise.

He can smell breakfast as soon as his door swishes open, his stomach growling as he imagines fresh chocolate chip pancakes with bacon and maple syrup laid out on the kitchen island.

Cyborg’s taken it upon himself to teach Starfire to cook, the two of them pouring over his grandmother’s old recipe book in their free time. Robin’s even caught them perfecting vegan baked goods for Beast Boy despite Cyborg’s incessant teasing.

It’s a lazy Sunday, most of the Titans still in their house clothes as Robin steps into the living room dressed in his own sweats and hoodie.

“Robin,” Starfire smiles as soon as she sees him, “you’re finally awake.”

“Dude,” Beast Boy says as he transforms out of a goat (goat yoga — he’ll have to ask Raven about that later) , “we thought we were going to have to drag you from bed to join us for breakfast.”

“I had to teach Cyborg to make my coffee.” Raven adds, but there’s an underlying tease to her tone.

“Yours is easier than Star or BB’s,” Cyborg frowns as he flips the last pancake onto a platter stacked high, “who insists on having it frozen and blended.”

Robin bites his lip, stopping the relieved smile from breaking across his face. He stands, watching for a few moments as Beast Boy fires back with a list of why iced coffee is superior to which Starfire nods enthusiastically and Raven immediately starts to counter argue.

He lets himself wander over to the coffee pot, but his usual mug is already full, and steaming as Cyborg slides it over to him with his own knowing smile.

“Okay, everyone,” Cyborg calls as he turns off the griddle and finishes setting the breakfast bar, “get over here and dig in.”

“What happened to that bottom pancake?” Raven asks with a raise of her eyebrow as she pokes the suspiciously black cake.

“Starfire tried to cook it with her starbolts,” Beast Boy grins as he elbows the alien playfully in her side.

“Cyborg and I were merely experimenting,” Starfire pouts as she looks mournfully at the burnt food.

“And like any good scientist we concluded that we will be leaving the cooking to the stove top from now on.” Cyborg says as he fills his plate high with meat before drowning it in syrup.

“This all looks great.” Robin says as he takes his place next to Starfire, his heart traitorously fluttering with her beaming smile.

He lets himself lean into her warmth, their shoulders brushing as they eat. Robin listens and smiles as his friends fill the kitchen with conversation and laughter.

He can’t help but think that this feels a little like forgiveness.

#robstar #teen titans #robstarweek #robin x starfire #robin punishing himself for betraying his friends??? goooood shit #the titans forgiving him and loving him??? OUAGHHHH #they're a family your honor

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selineram3421 · 1 year

Text

A little meow meow.

Temporary Control

Part 2

Part 1

Warning! ⚠

⚠ using she/they for reader, stalking, cussing, mentions of mind control, cannibalism mention(with small comic panel), blood, kiss on the palm of hand ⚠

Vox had a plan.

In order to make the pretty time doll run into his arms the Radio Demon had to make a really terrible mistake.

I'll be able to help with that.

He went to work, having his screens showing wherever the red dressed demon went to study his rival's habits and routes. Looking through spare parts for his little "bug" project.

While making the little bug device, Valentino had let himself in and got comfortable on a couch nearby the work bench.

"I was wondering what had you so cooped up~", the moth demon says before taking a drag from his cigarette and blowing some of the smoke out. "But I see its just him again."

"I'm busy.", he grumbles, flicking on the fan to ventilate the room and get rid of the smoke.

"Even for little 'ol me?", the pimp asks in a mock innocent tone.

"You're not little.", Vox huffs and solders some of the wires into place.

"That's what she said."

Putting down the soldering tools, the T.V. Demon turns around and finds Valentino laying down like the lady from the Titanic film.

"Draw me like one of your french girls~", the moth demon says with a wide grin.

Vox walks over and glares down at the demon. "Get the fuck out.", he says completely done.

"Hmm...", the pimp hums and takes a quick hit of the cigarette. "No.", he blows out the smoke at the blue demon's screen.

Swiping at the smoke, the T.V. demon scowls and grabs a cushion to toss at the moth's face, but he dodge it.

"I'm busy!", he shouts and goes back to the work bench.

Valentino rolls his eyes behind the heart shades and gets up from the couch, making his way over to stand behind him and look at the notes pinned up on the wall.

"What's got you all serious? Usually you'd fire another joke back.", the moth demon says.

Ignoring him, Vox continues to work and glances at his notes on the blueprints every so often.

After thoroughly reading through the notes, Valentino laughs.

"Making a mind control device? Your influence with the media and abilities should be enough for that."

"Its not just for any demon.", he pipes up, stopping his work to go over to the wall of screens that have been following the Radio Demon. "Its for that fucker right there."

The pimp goes and stands next to him, glancing over the screens.

Vox holds his arms behind his back. "With this little bug, it'll make it easier for me to take control of that guarded pretentious prick and make him do whatever I want.", he says turning to look at the taller demon.

"Oh~ And then you get his girl~", the moth demon chuckles.

The T.V. demon goes back to work and is finally able to kick the tall ass moth out of the room.

After finishing the "bug", Vox pinpoints where the Radio Demon is and mocks him through the screen, then he makes his way over to start the first part of his plan.

When arriving, he sees the cannibal walking away from the butchers with a bag and lifting up some sliver of bloody meat up to his lips.

Not waiting, he sends out some wires to attack.

The building nearby breaks apart, making some dust and debris fly off.

Alastor emerged from the dust clouds, flicking rubble off of his coat, past annoyed from earlier and now completely pissed off.

"You son of a bitch.", he growls out, eyes turning into radio dials.

"That's uncalled for!", Vox says in a fake offended tone. "But you're not wrong.", he grins and attacks again.

Its chaos as the two go at each other. Tossing vehicles, pieces of buildings, and even demons. And at some point they get close enough to ripping the other's head off.

The T.V. demon uses this opportunity to throw the bug onto his rival and watches as it crawls out of sight.

"€ŇØỮǤĦ Ø₣ ŦĦƗŞ ŇØŇŞ€ŇŞ€!", the deer demon shouts out with heavy static, using tentacles to try and pull him into one of the portals.

"As fun as this is, I'm going to have to leave.", Vox says, dodging the black tendrils. "Sorry to cut this short.", he says and manages to leave, dodging half a building his rival tries to crush him with. "Ta'ta Radio Shack!"

Alastor stared down at the remains of tomorrow's dinner, now a pile of dirty meat on the ground. The bag having ripped and contents spilled after Vox's attack.

"Damn that piece of-", he let out a sigh and collects himself before making his way back to the hotel.

She was waiting for him.

Their date was today and he didn't want to be late, that would be incredibly rude.

Deciding to speed things up, the Radio Demon teleported to his room and rushed to fix himself up. After being satisfied with his clothes, he walked over to their room and knocked on the door.

They open the door with a smile but then it disappeared, replaced with a frown instead.

Why the frown?

"Alastor, you're bleeding.", she steps closer and gently wipes the blood he didn't feel start to drip above his brow. "What happened?"

"Nothing too concerning darling.", he smiles and takes a hold of their wrist, placing a kiss on the palm of their hand. "Just had a run in with some vermin."

They tug on his sleeve and pull him into their room.

"Let's clean you up and get you rested. We can have date night another time.", they say and close the door behind him.

"But dearest-", he tries to change their mind.

"No. There's dark circles under your eyes, you need to rest.", they point out and usher him to sit on the bed.

He sits down without a fuss, knowing that they'd be upset if he didn't listen.

"Stay put while I get the first aid kit, ok?", his little hour glass says before pecking his forehead.

"Very well darling.", he mumbles.

They give him a wonderful smile before going into the bathroom to search for the box.

Feeling a bit tired, Alastor lies down and closes his eyes, not noticing the little bug bot attaching itself onto the back of his neck.

I'm half asleep. Wooo! *face plants onto bed*

~Seline, the person.

Part 3

Taglist@

@c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @ducky-died-inside @bisexualboba @willowaudreykeyes @+?

ML for Alastor🎙

ChL for TC

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circlebuttons · 1 year

Text

Ultimatum

pairing: addict/soft!rafe x reader

summary: A year ago you gave Rafe an ultimatum and he decided to choose you, but after walking in on his argument with Sarah you discover that you’ve been put second.

a/n: i made rafe a lot softer than usual.. oops. I just see him as being completely whipped for this girl and so he’s naturally apologetic and softer towards her.

warnings: drug use & maybe some manipulation

…..

Rafe had gone missing in action and after facetime after facetime, phone call after phone call, and text after text you decided to show up at Tammyhill unannounced to get answers.

To say you were pissed was an understatement. The two of you had set these types of boundaries surrounding communication and if it had been you who ghosted he would've already lit half of the island on fire, because there's no reason good enough on this entire island to not be able to shoot a quick text that's says something as brief as "Sorry, i'll call you later."

On the drive over there you begin to convince yourself that you should give him the benefit of the doubt. If anyone on this island could go toe toe with Rafe Cameron it was you and lord knows it was too late to start a war zone in the Cameron's family room, but as soon as you parked and prepared to compose yourself your headlights reflected off of that obnoxious red bike and back at you.

The only thing you hate more then that bike is that it increases the chances of him being home. At this point everyone better hope that he's reenacting titanic somewhere on his father's boat because why else would his bike be home and he's not.

You grab your stuff and walk up to heavy front doors that stand solid, but before you can even walk past the glass doors the sound of arguing becomes audible. You stand there listening, but all you can hear is muffled cursing and as soon as you hear "Go to hell Rafe!" spat out in a certain tone you can tell it's Sarah and Rafe going at it again.

You rolled your eyes and beat on the door, hoping to knock louder than they could argue "What'd you do call Topper?" you could hear Rafe scoff as he opened the door.

"No I-" Sarah went to argue, stopping only once she saw you step through the door.

"What the hell is going on in here?" You ask them both as they focus their attention on you as you take in Sarah's appearance, she's standing on the other side of the room facing you, her hair is messy and shes breathing hard. She has a permanent scowl on her face and raises and eyebrow to Rafe to answer.

You look towards him and you can't help but notice his lack of affection, no "hey", no hug, and not even a kiss for his girlfriend of a year.

Neither one of them speak, and it immediately feels like there's a secret hanging in the air that everyone knows but you. It confirms your suspicions when Sarah throws her head back and huffs out, "Tell her Rafe." The way she points her gaze and bites on the inside of her cheek, creates goosebumps on your skin. The anticipation is killing you.

"Tell me what?" You ask, turning towards Rafe and it makes your stomach drop when he can't even look at you. He's facing you, with his head down and his eyes glued to ground. Rafe doesn't even hold his head down slightly when he walks and now he can't even look you in your eyes?

"Can you just let me talk to her alone?" He bites out at Sarah as she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"If I do are you going to tell her the truth?" She asks gesturing towards you. Your eyes meet hers and she holds your gaze with apologetic eyes.

"Sarah, Fuck off!" He yells, throwing his hands up and facing her. Rafes outburst startles you as you look between the two siblings. Your heart has finally settled in your ass and all you can do is watch as they go back and forth.

"Tell her right now or I will" Sarah's demeanor becomes eerily serious as a chill blows across your neck. Rafe stands unmoving in the middle of the room with both you and Sarah on each side. He looks up at you and just as quickly drops his gaze, holding his head in both of his hands.

"He's been doing coke again and this time he fucking took it out on Wheezie," Sarah's voice wavers as she speaks.

A small gasp leaves your lips. It just didn't feel real, almost an entire year of sobriety, gone. Your vision blurs and it feels like your throat's going to close as you start piecing things together. There's a reason he hasn't looked you in the eyes or even stood close to you since you walked in.

"Rafe are you high right now?" you ask him, not sure if you even want an answer.

He looks up at you with bloodshot eyes, both from crying and cocaine, but when he notices the tears in your eyes and the quiver in your lip, he closes his eyes tightly and sucks in both of his lips in a tight line. You look at him with disbelief, "God, this isn't real life" you laugh through your tears as you turn to face the opposite direction, not even being able to look at him.

"I'm so sorry" he whispers out.

"Is Wheezie okay?" you turn and ask Sarah softly.

She walks past Rafe and engulfs you in a strong hug,"She's fine, he went ballistic, screaming at her and throwing shit. She's never seen him like that" she says holding you tightly as if to say so many things all at once. "If you don't want to talk to him, I get it", she talks lowly, so that only you can hear.

"I'm fine, I got it" You tell her wiping the tears out of your eyes with your sleeves and forcing a sad smile up at her, thankful for her always being there to give you an out. When dating someone like Rafe with obsessive tendencies there's always the possibility of feeling trapped and Sarah was always there to offer you an escape or a means of well needed space.

She nods and returns the smile, hesitantly walking up the stairs, leaving Rafe and yourself to sit in silence.

"I am sorry. I truly, genuinely am so sorry " He stands shaking his head still in his hands.

Your arms cross over your chest as a way to protect yourself from him, "Say something other than sorry, this isn't something an apology can fix"

His eyes fight to stay towards the ground, "I know-"

"Look at me Rafe!" you cut him off angrily, it's so cowardly for him to act this way after destroying so much.

His eyes snap up to yours and the icy blue color is dulled and barely visible behind his dilated pupils, "Wheezie was the first to find out that I relapsed and she confronted me before I had a chance to come down. It's not an excuse, but you know i'd never try to hurt her on purpose"

You knew what he said was true, even though he was still coming down from his high. "It doesn't matter what I know, I thought I knew that you were sober." The longer you look at him sympathy is constantly being reimagined as hurt and anger. The idea of his relapse is eating up at you on the inside as you imagine all of the different scenarios and questions. "How long have you been using?" You ask him quietly.

"Less than a week I swear!" His eyes widen as he steps closer to you.

You want to reach out to him hoping that he's telling the truth and somewhat thankful that it's only been a week of lies, but then you remember that it's been a week of lies, "And I've seen you everyday this week." your face reads nothing short of hurt.

"I should've told you when it first happened" His words and his eyes tell you that he means it, but that's not good enough.

"You could've came to me even when the thought first came into your head." You tell him calmly, knowing that he won't respond well to your anger.

"I'm ashamed of how weak I am. I hate myself more than you even know." His confession breaks your heart, no one would be able to hear that the person they love the most in the world can't love themselves. "I don't know what to do now," he says with his voice breaking as he pulls you into a hug.

"Neither do I." you tell him, looking at him and offering a tight lipped smile. The reality is that you know what you have to do, you just don't want to.

He places a soft kiss on your forehead and whispers, "I love you"

The words immediately make tears well back up in your eyes, as you put a hand on his chest and create an arms length of distance, "Shut the fuck up, that's manipulative Rafe!" you cry out at him, quickly wiping your eyes after breaking the hug.

"I mean it," he matches your volume as he silently lets tear of his own fall down his face.

"Your pupils are gigantic, I don't believe shit you say" you respond coldly to him, knowing it's the only way to keep some form of an emotional guard up.

"Please don't leave" he breathes out, grabbing you by your wrist, to keep you from turning from him. He knows you're seconds from breaking.

"I gave you an ultimatum Rafe" You tell him with pleading words.

His grasp moves from your wrist to your hand, threading his fingers through yours, "And I pick you every time" he says, moving his head to hold this strong eye contact with you.

You want to argue with him about how a relapse means that this time he very obviously didn’t pick you, but the only thing you can do is fidget with his fingers and swallow back tears.

"Relapse is part of recovery, my brain chemistry is changed and i'm trying everyday to not let it eat me alive" he tells you moving to hold your hand with both of his.

"I've done all I can do, I'm not licensed to help you and I can't give you the compassion or understanding that an addict needs." It breaks you to call him an addict, but you can’t force him into sobriety the same way you can’t force him to love himself the way you do.

"I'll start going back to therapy for you" He responds strong and eagerly, but this time it’s you who breaks the eye contact.

You softly shake your head at him, "You should go for yourself."

"I will go for us" He refutes and it splits you into two. It’s not a good idea to be in a serious relationship with an addict or a person in recovery, yet all of these empty promises pull you back in.

The gesture is nice, but you fight with yourself to stutter out your final decision, "No- no more.. us"

His face instantly flashes with hurt, "What, no!" he scoffs and pulls you closer.

You create more distance between two of you again, dropping your hand from his, "The ultimatum Rafe. It's more than me or the drugs, our relationship can't thrive like this, it's unhealthy."

He begins to close the space again. You can clearly read the look on his face and tell that he’s falling apart at the seams, "I'm getting help! We can go to couples therapy too, i'll pay for-"

"I can not go back on my word because I mean it when I tell you that I can not watch you do this to yourself, I can not be the only reason you're sober, and I can fucking not bury you" You raise your voice at him through your tears and poke harshly at his chest.

His eyes soften as he reaches up to wipe the tears from your cheek as his own begin to fall again, "I'm sorry that I put you in this position"

"I am too" You whisper, turning your face into his hand.

His teary eyes lock into yours, their icy blue color resurfacing and the optimist in you swears his pupils have reduced in size slightly. He bends down to touch his forehead to yours, "I'm going to get clean, just for you, my beautiful girl. I know you want me to do it for me, but you’re my entire world, the only thing that matters.

From the way he looks at you can tell his intention is to kiss you one last time, it rips at your heartstrings. You know you shouldn’t, you should just leave, you can’t say one thing and then have your actions mean another. You fight this internal battle with yourself, until he leans down to capture your lips in a soft kiss. You can’t help but kiss him back, matching his passion as he holds you against him,“i’ll die before i stop trying for you" he whispers against your lips.

"Goodbye Rafe" you mumble quietly into his skin, suddenly aware of how loud your heartbeat is and how restricted your lungs feel.

You try to release yourself from his hug, but he tightens his grip around your waist and holds your neck so that you can’t look away from him, "I love you" His words make your eyes shut tightly as a sob racks through your body. This is the last time you’ll allow yourself to cry over Rafe Cameron.

#rafe outer banks #rafe angst #rafe cameron x reader #rafe fic #obx cast #angst #recovering addict #sad ending #softrafe

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byhimawari · 6 months

Text

“One Scoop for Two”

(a RivaMika drabble)

“Eren. You should try, too.”

Excited and curious for him to try the unfamiliar but delectable treat, Mikasa hands Eren an —what the Marleyans call — ice cream cone. After witnessing Connie’s and Sasha’s reaction, she was quick to buy one for Eren and her to share, deep down hoping they’d also forget the task at hand for just a second out of their blood driven lives and actually bond.

Eren takes and observes it, also curious, albeit not in the same way Mikasa and the others were, because unlike them, and Mikasa knew, his mind is at an unreachable place where sharing ice cream with her is, quite frankly, of no importance.

“Ice cream?”

Mikasa blinks in surprise, caught off guard that he knew what it was called before she had the chance to tell him. “You knew?”

Eren’s features grow somber, an immediate indication that her hope for bonding has now become a cold case. She can almost hear the needle drop at the bottom of her glass heart.

“From the old man’s memory, that is.”

Mikasa doesn’t pry about his visions, knowing if she even asked, Eren would be too vague or reluctant to share. Instead she just nods, as she always does, her shadow standing besides his but never quite touching a constant remnant of what she will always be.

—

Levi, after great effort, finally manages to yank Hange away from their foolery of chasing cars and yelling at inanimate objects. How troublesome it was for the ship to dock at the busiest port in Marley. It’s enough to keep eye on the brats, what more having to babysit the Commander?

Speaking of brats, from a distance he sees the gloomy one standing with the reckless one, seemingly offering him ice cream with a faint glimmer of excitement in her eyes. Levi, against himself, because he’d rather blow their cover than admit that Ackerman looks rather appealing in her outfit, observes and sees the dejected slump of her shoulders as Eren just stares at now melting dessert in his hand.

He sees them chat for a moment. Eren’s facial features appear deep in thought. So deep in thought, in fact, he hands Mikasa back the ice cream cone mindlessly and excuses himself, walking away completely unaware to the confused and surprised gaze that follows him.

Normally he’d pay them no mind. He’s used to seeing Mikasa waste her valuable time and efforts on that kid. But there was something in the way her eyes glowered to the ground, a melancholic aura surrounding her like a dark cloud, that got under his skin, where his foot literally ached to kick something, someone, preferably the Titan boy himself, in order to ease the itch. And it’s when Levi sees Mikasa throw away the ice cream cone before walking away herself that he decides that he’ll definitely kick Eren’s ass. It only makes sense.

What doesn’t make sense, however, is Levi suddenly finding himself ordering one of those damn cold, much-too-sweet contraptions for himself and then walking hastily through an alien town in search for the woman worth a hundred soldiers turn damsel in distress. Yet, there he is, playing knight in shining armor for reasons he will never admit aloud.

Though his approach is everything but courteous and noble.

“Oi, gloomy brat.”

He finally finds her, sitting lonesome on a bench, staring blankly at nothing as she so often does when in her sunken moods. Mikasa doesn’t move an inch. He expected as much.

“Go away. I’m not in the mood.”

He expected that much, too. Even from behind, he knows exactly what sour face she’s making. But of course he doesn’t falter. He walks over to the bench and sits beside her. Levi notices her tense and he prepares himself.

She swiftly turns her head, “I said I’m not in the—!”

Levi shuts her up, softly pushing the tip of the ice cream against her mouth. Her eyes widen in shock, then it evolves into her piercing glare.

“C-Captain! What was that for?” she wipes her mouth and nose with the back of her hand.

“You wanted ice cream, didn’t you?” Levi asked plainly, pulling the cone back slightly, “I saw you dispose the one you bought earlier without even tasting it. What a waste.”

There’s a pregnant pause between the two. Mikasa then just sighs and turns away to look back at nothingness.

“I got it for Eren,” she says quietly, as though embarrassed to even hear herself say it aloud.

Ah, just as he thought. Seems Levi has a knack for accurate observation.

“I take it the brat didn’t want any?” Levi scoffs irately as he leans back against the bench, “Tch. Even common courtesy the boy lacks.”

“He’s just going through a lot,” she’s quick to defend.

Levi’s quicker to rebuttal, “And you’re not?”

His words came out much sharper than he intended, like a paper cut to the tongue, and he realizes from the slight fall of her face that she felt the sting too. He sighs. Sometimes even he forgets that underneath her steel armor is still a delicate heart.

“Look, I understand he’s on edge, as we all are by just simply being here, but…” Levi starts but then his eyes drift to the tip of the ice cream, noticing it’s starting to melt. He twitches slightly, not wanting it to get on his skin or clothes. But still, he continues before his train of thought goes away, “That doesn’t justify him taking you for granted. He was wrong for that, just as he was all the other times.”

She turns back to look at him with eyes he has seen so many times before; defeated but stubborn. It’s the same eyes she always has when she’s with Yaeger. Levi sees right through her, not because she makes it obvious, but because he’s the exact same, loving from afar but standing so close. He understands.

“It’s just ice cream, Captain,” she attempts to dispute.

And because be understands, he’s determined to make sure she does too.

“Is it really, Mikasa?”

She doesn’t respond, her vanquish clear. Mikasa knows that it isn’t just ice cream. He knows that she knows. It’s supposed to be something that binds them, to create a fond memory, to close the gap.

Just like the one melting in his hand.

They were never just ice cream cones to begin with.

After some silence, Mikasa nods, acknowledging his point as the storm in her eyes slowly comes to a calm.

“Just don’t stop yourself from enjoying something just because someone else doesn’t want to enjoy it with you, you gloomy brat,” Levi quickly reiterates as to not make the silence between them awkward.

But then his attention shifts and his brow furrows uncomfortably when be sees the trail of ice cream start flowing slowly down, his skin surely to meet its sticky demise.

Without any notice, Mikasa leans towards the ice cream he holds and uses her lips to take a generous bite at the top, stopping it from melting onto his hand. She shivers at its coldness, having swallowed too fast. Something fluttered within Levi’s chest at the sight, like that of a butterfly floating to the rhythm of his rapid heart, and he doesn’t know if he likes it or not.

Levi clears his throat, trying to ground himself away from the corners of his mind.

“Next time, just enjoy it yourself or find someone else who does,” he says, “Like right now. You’re not bad company.”

Levi tenses, realizing the weight of the last bit he said, subtly confessing that he enjoys her company, thus implying that he could be that person she can always eat ice cream with, should she ever wish…should that chance ever come again.

“Thank you, Captain,” she says warmly, a rare soft smiles on her lips that he never thought he’d have honor of witnessing himself, “For…the ice cream.”

It’s chaste when he smiles back, but ever the skilled one, and really, he should’ve known better, Mikasa catches it before he has the chance to make away with it. There’s a gleam in her eyes that, wishful thinking as it may be, tells Levi that the chance, someday, will indeed come again.

“You must’ve been watching me closely for you to notice all these things, Captain.”

To that, he only chuckles, taking the risk of not denying it. Levi tilts the ice cream cone towards her mouth, keeping his hand there for her convenience.

“Shut up and eat your ice cream, brat. It’s melting.”

fin

#rivamika #levi x mikasa #levimika #rivamika fanart #rivamika fandom #mikasa x levi #rivamika art #rivamika fanfic #rivaille x mikasa #rivamika drabble #rivamika headcanon #rivamika fic #rivamika fanfiction #riva

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novankenn · 3 months

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Clash of the Titans

(If you would like to know more about the "Hares Breadth AU" check out @pilot-boi as she is the mastermind behind it. These shorts are not to be considered "cannon" to her AU. These are me having fun with her idea. Nothing more.)

Team RNPR was dumbfounded at what was happening. Out of nowhere, something had charged into the massive grimm, bowling it and itself over, only for the twin beasts to roll through the dust and dirt and return to their feet.

Pyrrha cried out in shock as she, the closest saw a human face on the beast currently engaged in a life of death battle with the fell beast.

"It... it... can't be..."

The rest of RNPR, didn't or to be more accurate, hadn't seen the human face of their bestial savior, but what they did witness was pure savagery. The pair of creatures had by a stroke of luck rolled back to their feet, and the Knuckleave was putting it's greater mass and height to it's advantage.

/==/

Jauniper knew it had made a mistake, choosing to fight, instead of the safe choice and fleeing. The grimm was doing it's best to over power him, and in Jauniper's weakened state, it was starting to happen. One of it's stretchy arms was tangled about his antlers and trying to twist his head sideways, while the other lashed at him, striking his torso and flank.

But Jauniper wasn't done yet. He wanted to survive. He would survive. He knew these two-legged beings and he was not going to loose them again. Letting the grimm's own strength lift him up, Jauniper started his counter attack.

The Knuckleleave screamed in rage and pain as the razor like claws on Jauniper's forelimbs started to carve great gashes through it's inky flesh. But not to be out done, Jauniper also lashed out with his arms. His claw tipped fingers gouging the grimm flesh of the Knuckleleave's torso and face.

The ancient grimm attempted to bring it's second head into the fight. To have it bite and nip at Jauniper's exposed flanks. Jauniper was in survival mode. This wasn't a fight he could run from, and he kicked it his own actions another notch.

Precariously balancing on one hind leg, Jauniper slammed his one hindleg into the horse body's chest, neck and head. The inpact caused inky flesh to quiver. However Jauniper wasn't done yet... as soon as he landed his strike, he ripped his leg downwards, allowing his rear claws to tear massive wounds into the grimm's flesh.

/==/

Pyrrha and the rest were back on their feet, weapons in hand, but still stunned as the Knucklleave howled in rage and pain.

"No..." Pyrrha whispered as with one desperate surge of strength the great grimm tore the great beast that bore Jaune's face, from it's side and threw it. Yelps of pain rang out as Jaune tumbled along the ground.

"It's hurt!" Ruby called out. "Nora make it attack... Pyrrha pin and arm! Ren get ready!

/==/

Jauniper whined, his body burned and pulsed with pain. His vison swam, and when he tried to force himself to rise he collapsed... his strength utterly spent. As his eyes drifted closed, he watched the one in green strike the final blow.

==/ Hares Breadth AU - Shorts /==

A/N: Well I think that is about all I can come up with right now. IF I think up anything else that could be backdropped by @pilot-boi's AU I'll be sure to share it with you all.

Anyway if you like the "Hares Breadth AU" don't forget to check out @pilot-boi.

Thank you again to @pilot-boi for letting me have some fun with her AU. I know the stuff isn't cannon... but that's part of the fun.

Hope you enjoyed.

#hares breadth au #rwby #jaune arc #pilot boi #non-cannon #just having fun

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literaila · 2 years

Text

some friend you are

tasm!peter x reader

summary:

“why did i agree to this?”

“cause you love me.”

warnings: fluff, pining, yearning, all of that. i thought about adding more but. this is how it’s supposed to be.

a/n: not a word from any of you (no this is not personal at all no what)

"why did i agree to this?"

peter--who was staring up at the sky, searching for something almost unknown--looks back at you. he smiles, teasing.

and it's pretty obvious.

"cause you love me," he says, walking back towards you, hand reaching around your shoulder. he forces you into a half-hug.

forces you into feeling his heart beating against his skin. into bristling when his fingertips accidentally graze yours. he pulls you in, and you can smell everything.

and nothing.

peter smells like fabric softener; the simplest thing.

still, you think about running to the store and switching brands just to hang onto it.

he pushes you closer to him, and you can feel him laughing against your shoulder.

"and cause i'm very entertaining. what would you do without me?"

"probably watch more movies."

peter scoffs, releasing you. but you stay close, craving something almost unknown. "my point exactly."

"--and then you'd stop calling me 'uncultured' when i don't understand some obscure reference you're trying to make--"

"you didn't know about titanic. that's hardly obscure."

"i know all about the titanic. ship in 1911, hit an iceberg, great american tradgedy."

"leonardo dicaprio," peter says, dryly.

you smile. "who's that?"

it's cold enough that some wind blows in your face. cold enough that you can watch peter's rosy cheeks as he turns away, groaning.

"this is what i'm talking about."

"if you would stop stealing me from my room late at night maybe i'd finally--"

"you said 'sure' when i asked if you wanted to come."

"incorrect."

"i can show you the messages."

you both pause at a bench, though neither of you sits. "those mean nothing. i was coercered."

peter laughs. "by what?"

by brown eyes and your laughter, you'd like to say. by smiles that you can't get from anywhere else; by a voice that follows you, even when he's not around.

by fabric softener hugs and messy hair. aching ribs and a fluttering heart.

unattainable things that you have at your will whenever you want.

still.

"sleep deprivation. the promise of ice cream. which we still haven't gotten, by the way."

peter looks around like he can solve this problem right now. "it's two in the morning."

you stare at him.

"i don't think there's any ice cream places open."

"a crime, surely."

"but we could stop by a store. there might be some there."

you throw your head back, not dramatic at all. "i don't want carton ice cream, peter. i want a cone. a sundae."

"we can make that."

"it's two in the morning," you mock.

peter stares at you, repetition at it's finest.

"you think may is going to be okay with you messing up her kitchen this late?" you raise a brow. "she doesn't even let you in there during working hours."

"not true. sometimes i get water."

"oh yeah, i forgot."

peter smiles at you.

his teeth touch his top lip, in a moment of the barest emotions. his dimples are evident enough. little mistakes in his foundation.

puffy eyes and red skin and a smile that might be yours.

you think; have you seen this anywhere else?

have you ever felt this way before?

it doesn't really matter, you're sure, but the answer still lingers. it still threatens to cross over your line and break the boundaries of keeping your calm.

of sanity and friendship and peter.

because peter is your friend.

why are you here, again?

"hey," he says, tapping you lightly, leaning in. "do you wanna go see that movie next week?"

sure, you think. of course.

"which one?"

"the one with the girl. and the guy. and like, there might be a dog."

"you know," you drawl, looking up thoughtfully. looking away from him because you have to. "i think i've heard of that one. two characters, a dog. only, like, fifty times."

"aliens, too."

you blink at him. "why would i want to see that?"

"cause it'll be good. there's aliens and a dog."

"exactly."

peter raises a brow. "is that a no, or..."

he's close enough that you could taste his skin.

he's close enough that it's not really your fault when your eyes drift down. when you linger at soft pink skin, at a swipe of a tongue, at reaching out and pulling him in and not even feeling guilty about it.

you won't tell anyone, you swear.

he's close enough that you could kiss him.

you could; if he would let you. if he was just a little bit closer.

you move back, yearning. "are you buying?"

"my ticket."

"and what about mine, peter?"

"i can offer you a handful of popcorn,” he steps in front of you, raised brows.

he’s biting his lip. you’re sure that he’s sending you a message.

sure that you’re absolutely insane.

some part of you wants to burst out in laughter. it wants to burst this flame in your chest, in your heart. oxygen is unwanted; it ruins a fertile foundation.

"cheap," you say. "i deserve at least two."

peter grabs your hand, inconsiderate, pulling you forward as he walks. "you drive a hard bargain. but okay. two handfuls."

you smile back at him.

you led him guide you; so afraid that if you don't, a mistake will be made.

you don't know where to go. you don't know what comes after this.

your heartbeat skips around the corner, it goes somewhere that you can't follow. you call out for it, but it can’t hear.

peter offers you a wider smile, somewhat kind and devious. like he knows what you're thinking. like he can really tell.

and he shouldn't. you're careful enough. you’ve played this game for over a year.

"i'll pay for you," peter whispers, after a moment. "of course."

"you don't have to. i'd go anyway."

his eyes are bright. it's dark outside.

you should feel terrible. afraid.

"you would?"

"for the dog, obviously."

"for the dog."

you should be terrified.

but peter is right next to you. he is some sort of manic laughter. a manipulative addiction.

it’s almost impossible to feel anything but his eyes on you; but the smile that he recklessly offers you.

you tsk. "even though it's probably going to die."

"no.” peter frowns. “i checked. i wouldn't subject you to that."

"peter. the dog always dies."

he scratches his neck. his hand is still in yours. "would google lie to me?"

"yes."

"would you lie to me?" he asks himself. "definitely."

"some friend you are,” you scoff to him, trying to move away.

some friend you are. some lost, unknowing friend that he is. some sort of fake friend you're pretending how to be.

you'd told him once that you didn't know how to be a good friend. that you weren't sure what that required. what kind of rules there were.

and peter didn't mind. he simply smiled.

probably because you didn't mention why.

it's obvious enough.

"c'mon," peter drags you, feet tapping against pavement. it's cold outside, but you're warm. "i think it's time to go home."

"really? but i was just beginning to enjoy myself."

peter laughs at you.

his teeth are flashing white and his skin is sort of poisonous.

you must be allergic to this, you think. to walking in the dark with him and swearing that it doesn’t mean a thing. that this, if anything, is only a relief from boredom.

friends walking together. reckless and ignorant.

you must be allergic to lying.

peter walks you home and leaves you at the door, telling you that he'll call you tomorrow. that he'll be there at school. unknowingly sinking himself into your heart.

piece by piece, you're sure, there's some part of you that's gone.

that is completely gone for him.

and when he leaves, you linger at the door. you watch him walk away, laughing when he waved goodbye.

and when he’s gone, you laugh.

you laugh for the irony. for the cruel idea that this is how it feels like—how it’s always felt—to be around your best friend.

you laugh and laugh because you almost cant feel the pity. how are you supposed to feel anything with peter around?

how are you supposed to breathe or look at him?

but he’s gone now, so it doesn’t much matter.

you linger by the door anyway, thinking that he might come back.

you don’t answer that question.

it's obvious enough.

my masterlist here.

tags: @moonlarking-blog @v1ci0us @preciousbabypeter @alexxavicry @directioner5life @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @localrockstargf @thestudiouswanderer @take-my-hand-time-boy @thoughtsofagodlovingsunflower @nyomjoon @raindropstearsandtea

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happyk44 · 1 year

Text

actually annabeth joining luke's army as a double agent for chb but percy doesn't know this so he just thinks alright and grabs grover and hooks it over there bc annabeth does what she wants and he knows there's no convincing her otherwise bc she's a stubborn ass and also ares fucking sucks so as far as percy's concerned the gods can suck it based on that alone

grover is just ??? bc he does NOT want to be over here and percy's just like "look, we can't convince annabeth to not be part of monster army, so the only option is to be part of it ourselves" and annabeth walks in on them trying to join (or rather percy trying to join for both of them and grover looking on the verge of tears) and she's just ??? bc what the fuck percy why are you two here

whole time percy is going on a rant about ares and how he sucks and how he's pretty sure the god has abused clarisse ("maybe we should get clarisse to sign up with us") because no one believes that he wants to join luke's army and they just thinkk he wants to spy on them so he's trying to show that he thinks gods (well at least one god) is a total ass and can get obliterated and percy will be happy to do that bc he did it once before, he can totally do it again! and if they get clarisse she can deliver the final blow as an FU

someone asks why grover's there and percy is like "um. he's my best friend? he has to come with me? what, you think I'm gonna fucking fight my best friend? are you stupid?"

meanwhile grover is having the worst panic attack of his life. like why is this how he discovers percy has no morals. couldn't it be something smaller like putting french fries in a strawberry milkshake?

and annabeth is resisting the urge to start screaming and now she's gotta vouch for percy and her vouch for percy is basically "if it came to saving me and grover or a bus full of people about to plunge into the atlantic, percy would save us, no hesitation" and everyone's like "jesus christ, the hell is wrong with this kid" because like maybe they're on the side of a cannibalistic titan but they're not fucking evil

ofc once they're let into the group, annabeth drags them both to the side and wrings percy a new one for fucking up her double agent plans and they're both whisper-arguing bc it's not his fault he didn't know she didn't really shack up with the enemy, but like fuck off percy, you didn't have to follow me here! why the hell would you choose to come here, were you going to try and kidnap me and bring me back to camp by force??

and percy is just like "yes that is 100% what i was going to do, i was definitely not joining with the intent to be by your side and blow up olympus because i'd rather destroy the world than fight my friend" and grover turns to annabeth and is just "he's fucking lying" "yeah i know"

anyway grover is released as a double agent for the monster army (but actually for CHB) bc the idea is that he can help them get more demigods to their side as a searcher being sent out to grab kids and he's mentally banging his head bc NOW he has to figure out how to get unclaimed demigods safely to camp without making it look like he took them there on purpose and if it looks like he defected back to CHB, they'll probably kill annabeth and maim or imprison percy and good gods, percy i hate you so much rn

percy? idk. it's past summer so he just goes home and luke is like "bro you can't just fucking leave" "um no offense luke but if you try to stop me from going home to my mom who i love more than life itself i will legit eat you" and then he goes home

come december, grover is calling percy up like "hey i found these fucking powerful ass kids, plz help me get them to camp without making it look like i got them there on purpose" and so they gotta loop annabeth in who's just mentally banging her head and cursing percy out over this whole thing as she strategizes a way to get the army there but have them fuck up so badly it would look super suspicious if grover just shoved them over

so first she yells at percy then she makes grover call thalia up so she can help him and it'll be okay 'cause she's in the same area as him so it won't look suspicious, it'll just seem like camp sent her in with him, like they do sometimes when there's dangerous monsters that a satyr might not be able to handle by themselves.

and then she makes percy go with them as support for grover's "nefarious" deeds since thalia's there. and it's a whole fucking thing, and mentally she's just like "oh thank fuck" when artemis and the hunters show up.

they retreat back to wherever the monster army was at this time (not the boat, but like idk. atlas' post? were they all chilling there or was it just luke and some ppl being assholes and everyone else was still on the boat, i can't remember) and curse their loss of two powerful and clueless demigods, only for percy to call annabeth up a couple hours later like "hey, remember those kids from a couple hours ago with the manticore and the hunters and everything"

"percy it was two hours ago, ofc i remember it, my memory isn't as shit as yours" "right right, you're elephant" "oh my- why are you calling me!!" "oh yeah. uh. well. they're kinda in my house" "what??" "yeah they're sitting right across from me. my mom's giving them some hot chocolate."

"how the hell?"

"i have no clue. they also have no clue. they just, uh, didn't feel safe at camp, bc grover was being weird about trying to save them. which, um, yeah, makes sense. and they don't like thalia because her spear scares them 'cause they don't like lightning. and also the girl said the hunters keep trying to convince her to join them which is freaking her out, so they didn't want to stay at camp. and then suddenly they were in my house."

"..."

"what do i do?"

this time annabeth bangs her head physically on the closest wall. and somewhere in the fine forests of new york, grover is banging his head on the nearest tree, both of them unified in their feelings of "for fucks sake percy i hate you so much rn"

#this is just a total nonsense stream of consciousness #and no before you ask i still have not eaten #happy talks pjo #in this au bianca doesn't join the hunters because. well i don't want her to #but also bc of my artemis told the hunters to kill bianca and nico bc she knew who they were and needed them to die theory #and bianca obvi felt that energy and since annabeth didn't get captured by the monster army she's not as freaked out #and desperate to rely on the safety of the first god she meets #plus grover thinks artemis is the coolest thing ever and bianca does not trust grover rn so like she's not gonna trust the goddess either #lmao percy sitting across from his cousins and thinking why does this feel familiar and then suddenly hades appears and he's like oh right

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themusicistrue · 1 year

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Hozier’s music provides something most people can’t think to express by showing relationships as they truly are – healthy, flawed, hopeful, and fraught. He has an idyllic view of love expressed through symbolism, making you think and feel whether you know the context or not. Listening to Hozier’s lyrics is a deeply intimate experience, like looking through an old pane of glass. At times, a rediscovery of something once beautiful. And at others, a forgotten shard of love lost to time. Let’s examine love through those lyrics.

There’s not much of Hozier’s distinct lyrism in his self-titled first album (2014), but it has one of my favorite instances in the song “Jackie and Wilson.” The lyric “She blows out of nowhere, a roman candle of the wild,” as a girl we were taught to be quiet, and keep to ourselves, and not bother other people with our thoughts, or words. Hozier describes the woman he loves as a firework and he loves her all the more for it. He praises the parts that we have been taught to tamp down overtime.

Now moving on to his sophomore album “wasteland, baby!”(2018) has far more instances of him writing in this distinct style of him. The first track of him actively doing this style of song is in “Movement”. Hozier says the phrase “you are a call to motion”. He makes it all feel so full as if his Love is his world. He makes it seem as though just her moving, and doing something so normal like dancing can make him want to do better, and move with her. Later on in the song he says “Honey, you, you're Atlas in his sleepin'” in this he compares her to the titan atlas who is known for holding the weight of the world on his back. He makes her seem so effortless even holding up the world. He shows how she can move even under the weight of everything.

Now in the song “Would that I” touches more on the hard parts of love. He says “Though I've handled the wood, I still worship the flame”. In this the wood is a metaphor for trying to pick up yourself after leaving a relationship; while the flame is the relationship, something he knows might not end well but he still goes to it. He puts himself in the path of it and seeks it out actively. He also touches on this theme of wanting, and seeking out something that might be bad for you in “Wasteland, baby!” (the song that is) in the words “Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass”. He compares a small act of love to the end of the world as if they can somehow be connected. He brings out these small beautiful and yet heartbreaking parts of love so often.

Now in his most recent album “unreal unearth”(2023) he has completely perfected this type of song writing. Now in the song “First time” he gives the lyric “And the first time that you kissed me I drank dry the River Lethe”. This lyric is so special when you take a look at the moving parts of it. So the River Lethe in the under world made people forget when they drank from it. He compares kissing her to forgetting what makes his life tragic. All that pain willed away in one simple act of affection.

Yet another instance of him comparing the woman he loves to the world is in “I, Carrion (Icarian)” this whole song is a big metaphor of how these two people are so different. He is more flighty – able to leave and move around; where as she is anchored. In this way, he sees her in everything, everywhere. For example, in this lyric, he says, “Once I wondered what was holdin' up the ground. But I can see that all along, Love, it was you all the way down.” This lyric shows just how much he relies on her love. It is his foundation.

The most gut wrenching song he has ever made is “Franchesca”. It fully embraces the pain that love can bring you. It has the theme that when you do finally get to be together it doesn't always work perfectly or well. The most painful part of it is he says that through all the pain he’d continue it all he wants to still be together. In the lyric “I would still be surprised I could find you, darlin', in any life If I could hold you for a minute”. this song all has the pain that is so natural and true. It gives the full feeling of just how insane it is that you are able to find someone you click with.

Hozier sees the world the way it is, and yet makes it so beautiful. His world is hard, and harsh yet it still has an air of romanticism to it all. He uses metaphor to brake the walls simple words are confined to. He gives a warmth and normality to love often not voiced in words.

#hozier #wasteland baby #unreal unearth

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its-jaytothemee · 7 months

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Gentle Hands

Pairing: Halsin x Astarion x Tav (OC:Tavara), Astarion POV

Word Count: 7,411, One Shot

Rating: Explicit, MDNI

Read on AO3

Summary: Astarion returns to camp after a long day in Baldur's Gate and Tavara is nowhere to be found. He finds her and Halsin together relaxing by the river and has to decide whether or not he should tell them how he feels. This takes place shortly after Astarion resists ascension and after a couple of other bloody battles. Astarion POV, lots of explicit content at the end. Approx 7.4k word count. Enjoy!

Tags: Fluff and Smut, Light Jealousy, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex (m receiving), gentle kissing, Spawn!Astarion, Lots of comforting.

Author's Note: This is an extremely self indulgent fluff that turns into smut piece. This is my first go at writing anything sexually explicit and I'm pretty happy with the result! I love getting feedback if you have any, but please be kind!

The sun was still blazing in the sky when their party wearily made their way back to their camp. This had been a tough day, some of the Flaming Fist were still pursuing them and all four of them had been beaten to the hells and back by some Sahuagin that ambushed them around the harbor. Rather than push their luck with running into any more trouble, they had decided to call it early for the day. Karlach and Shadowheart made their way towards the fire pit, and Wyll opted to go directly to his tent. As Astarion made his way through the now familiar camp outside of Rivington, he noticed Tavara was nowhere to be found. Today was one of the rare days that she had actually agreed to stay behind in camp. Yesterday was the day that they had found and infiltrated the Iron Throne as well as the Steel Watch Foundry. The fight at the Foundry took a bad turn when they ran into the monstrous Steel Watch Titan. Tavara had landed numerous blows against the construct but was overrun by other Steel Watchers. The others managed to take down the Titan, but Tavara was lost. Karlach and Halsin had to drag her body out with them as they ran from the exploding foundry. That was the first time they had lost Tavara in a battle. Even though they have more revivify scrolls than they would likely ever need, and Withers always available in camp, Astarion vividly remembered the absolute fear and anguish of watching her fall and holding her lifeless body in his arms.

When they woke today, Astarion and Shadowheart had insisted Tavara stay behind and recover. To their surprise, she agreed to stay and get some rest while they scouted out some other leads in the city. Halsin volunteered to stay with her as well to check over any leftover wounds. The two of them had really become inseparable over the past few days. Astarion’s chest tightened with a wave of jealousy. Not jealous of the two of them together, but jealous of how easily it came to them. Tavara always made time for both of them somehow, but it was clear to see that the relationship with Halsin came much more naturally.

Fucking wood elves. He thought to himself. He made his way to his tent and removed his bloodied armor. His left shoulder protested in pain at the gesture. After changing into some cleaner clothes, he made his way past the camp into the nearby tree line. There was a small stretch of the river that ran near their camp where Tav liked to relax and he figured he could find her there. As he made his way through the shrubs, he reflected on the events of the past few days, it was almost too much to process. Not 5 days ago they succeeded in finally killing Cazador; his revenge that he had dreamed about for 200 years was finally realized. Tavara stopped him from making a terrible mistake that day. Standing in Cazador’s dungeon, he realized that all of the power in the world was nothing compared to the love and compassion she had shown him in their short time together. He truly wanted to live a life where she could be proud to be with him, where they could be equals.

Then, there was their experience with the drow. He had been eager to jump in and join both Tavara and Halsin. He really thought that once Cazador was gone, once his influence was no longer a fear to hold him back, that his arousals and sexual appetite would return without a problem. It was more of a hope than anything. Yet as badly as he wanted it, he found himself oddly numb during their encounter. There he was with four other devastatingly beautiful elves, and it still didn’t feel right. While the drow were obviously experienced in the art of pleasure, they were rather rough and detached, which he supposed should be expected of the escorts. As badly as he wanted to share in Tavara’s heart, perhaps jumping straight into an orgy with two strange drow wasn’t the proper approach to restarting his erotic endeavors. But perhaps starting with two people who he trusted…

The sound of familiar laughter startled him out of his thoughts. Instinctively, he crouched behind a bush to hide the sound of his approach. As he peered around the leaves, he saw Tavara standing in the shallow water of the river bank with Halsin sitting in front of her. They were both in their underwear and Astarion spotted the rest of their clothes folded on a rock nearby. Both of them had their hair loosely falling around their shoulders rather than their normal tied up styles. He thought about making himself known, but something stopped him. The two wood elves had made it more than clear that he was always welcome to join them in anything, although he had never really taken them up on their offer until the drow came into play. Watching them now, Astarion suddenly felt an overwhelming sadness. They looked so…happy. Happy…an emotion that was truly new to him, one that he hadn’t experienced in over two centuries before meeting his new traveling companions. Even then, it took days before he could feel comfortable enough to identify the feeling, and even more days still before he could admit it to another conscious soul. But Halsin and Tavara…they were happy the moment they were together. There was no suspicion, no manipulating, they simply trusted each other and for some reason, they trusted him as well. It wasn’t fair. He was never afforded the luxury of trusting those around him, yet it came as easily as breathing for the two of them.

He continued to observe the pair from his hiding spot. Tavara was running a wooden comb and her fingers through Halsin’s hair. He watched as the druid leaned blissfully back against her legs, a small smile creeping across his face. She leaned over and gently kissed the top of his forehead, wearing a smile to match. Tossing the comb onto the soft ground near the river, Tavara started weaving small braid’s into Halsin’s hair. Her hands were so delicate and gentle, it was hard to think that those same hands were capable of wielding a greatsword that could cleanly cleave a goblin in two. Astarion couldn’t remember the last time he saw her looking so relaxed. The jealousy washed over him again, this time stinging his eyes with tears. Was she unhappy while she was with him? At least compared to her time with Halsin? He shook away the thoughts. She had shown him time and time again how much he meant to her, why was he doubting her feelings now? After all, he was the one who constantly pushed her away. Another sweet laugh from Tavara brought him back. He realized that he was spying on the person he claimed to love during a particularly intimate moment and the jealousy was quickly replaced by guilt. He thought about turning around and going back to camp to rest after the long day. He glanced over his shoulder, and then back to Tavara and Halsin.

No. He thought to himself. No more pushing people away. He felt his breath quicken, and suddenly he felt as if his legs would give out from underneath him. He slowly stood up and walked into the clearing. So many thoughts raced through his head. What if they wanted to be alone and he was intruding? What if Tavara went away from camp to have time away from him? What if she was having second thoughts about their relationship? As his mind wandered to every negative thought, he stopped watching his steps and ended up snapping a particularly loud twig. Both Tavara and Halsin’s heads snapped towards him.

He winced, but all worry immediately melted away when Tavara spotted him. Her face lit up and she gave him a huge smile. All of the tension left his body, and he somehow managed to smile back at her.

“Astarion!” She called towards him and immediately started making her way to the shore, Halsin standing up behind her to wave at him. Tavara bounded right over to Astarion and gave him a quick, soft kiss.

“You’re back much earlier than I expected. I was hoping to be back in camp waiting for you when you returned.” Her hand lightly caressed a small scratch along his neck. The touch sent a shiver down his spine.

“Yes, well we ran into some unexpected trouble down by the docks.” He gently took her hand and lightly kissed the palm, earning him another dazzling smile from her. Halsin had made his way back to the shore as well and was obviously looking Astarion over for any other injuries.

“Is everyone all right, love?” Tavara was still holding his hand.

“Oh of course, darling, everyone’s fine, just a little bruised. We simply decided not to push our luck any further today.” Astarion shifted nervously in the soft sand beneath his feet.

“What is it?” Tavara gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and smiled gently at him. Astarion’s eyes darted between her and Halsin, he was unsure of what to say next or how to approach them. This whole situation was so new to him, but he wanted to get better. He wanted to be with Tavara, that was obvious. What he had realized now, is that he wanted to be with Halsin too.

“I just…erm…well…” Astarion’s throat was suddenly very dry. “I hope I’m not interrupting…I just…”

“Nonsense! I was just making sure our sweet Tav here isn’t still suffering from her mortal wounds from yesterday.” Halsin called from the boulder where they had left their clothes and a small blanket.

“Ah, well…that’s good of you.” Astarion continued to shift nervously. The druid’s large, gleaming muscles were rather distracting, not to mention the large bulge in the front of his underwear. He brought his gaze back to Tavara.

“You’re always welcome with us, Astarion.” Tavara responded softly, still smiling sweetly.

“Would you prefer time for just the two of you?” Halsin asked, his friendly smile still shining on his face. “I could head back to camp if you wish.”

“No!” Astarion blurted out quickly, startling both of them. “I mean…erm…” Tavara was staring at him with a worried look. He took a deep breath to steady himself.

“Actually Tav,” he said nervously, “I uh, I wondered if I might join the two of you.” He suddenly felt embarrassed and looked towards the ground. Every muscle in his body was tensed. He trusted Tavara, loved her even but there was always the doubt in the back of his mind. It was always telling him that eventually they would betray him. But after Cazador, he vowed that he would stop letting that fear control him. He would say what he wanted, when he wanted it and he would make his feelings known even if it caused him pain. Because it was his pain now. Not pain inflicted by a cruel master for his sick entertainment, but the pain of living. The type of pain that let him know that he was still alive…well, in some sense of the word. A soft touch on his cheek interrupted his thoughts and he looked back up into Tavara’s piercing, green eyes and found her smiling back at him. She looked over her shoulder and beckoned Halsin closer.

“You…you called me Tav.”

“That’s your name, darling.”

“No, Astarion, that’s my nickname. You said you never used nicknames.”

“Well,” he started, as Halsin sauntered over to them, “there’s a first time for everything.” Tav smiled in response and took both of his hands in hers.

“You’re sure this is what you want? I would love for us to all be together my love, but I want it to be because you truly want it. After our time with the drow, I thought…”

“The drow ordeal was…overwhelming.” Astarion interrupted. “I thought my desires would return as soon as Cazador was dead but…” he trailed off. He felt another pair of hands wrap around his own and Tav’s. Halsin’s large, lightly calloused hands easily enveloped both of theirs.

“Astarion, you were held captive, tortured, and used for Cazador’s cruel amusement for two hundred years.” Halsin responded gently. “He excruciatingly carved the words of your own destruction into your back for the purpose of giving him more power. You were forced to lure hundreds of people to their deaths. The guilt and pain and disgust you feel, that takes time to heal, my friend.”

Astarion felt hot tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. He braced himself for the rejection. He waited to hear Halsin and Tav tell him that he just wasn’t ready to be with both of them. He waited for that decision to be made for him once again. As he opened his mouth to speak, he was interrupted by Tav’s arms tenderly sliding around his waist, and Halsin’s wrapping around his shoulders. Before he had a chance to realize what was happening, he found himself practically smothered between the two of them in a hug.

“We can help you with that, if you’ll allow us.” Halsin whispered to him.

Uncertain at first, he stiffened. This wasn’t the reaction he expected. Tav must have felt him tense, since she started to pull back. He responded by grabbing her waist and pulling her back into a crushing embrace. He buried his head into her neck and hair. Halsin drew them both closer to his chest. His deep, slow breaths were calming. The three of them stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Tav and Halsin both held him in place, gently stroking his hair and the scars along his back. Eventually, he pulled away as Tav wiped a tear from his face.

“So…” Astarion started, “What were you two doing before I so rudely interrupted?”

“Just taking the time to have a proper bath.” Halsin responded. “I think we can all agree that Tavara desperately needed one.” She stuck her tongue out at him in response.

“Well then, let us continue.” As Astarion finished talking, he took a deep breath and reached down to remove his shirt. He winced with pain, forgetting about the blow he took to his left shoulder earlier today. Tav quickly untangled the shirt from his arm and pulled it over his head.

“Come with me, love. We’ll take care of that shoulder.” She took his hand and led him closer to the water. Astarion placed his shirt with the rest of their clothes and glanced down at his pants.

“I’ll be right there, darling.” He reached down to undo the laces, his hands now feeling stiff from the day’s fights. Suddenly, he saw a flash of movement next to him and Tav was whisked off of her feet into Halsin’s arms.

“Enough is enough, my heart.” His voice was light and cheerful. “You’ve stalled for quite a long time.” Tav kicked and laughed in his arms.

“No! Put me down! I have my hair just as messy as I like it!” Tav protested.

“Yes, and it’s also still covered in blood and oil from the foundry.” Halsin countered.

“Exactly! Just as I like it!” Tav yelled, still laughing. Halsin kept moving out further into the river until the water was waist deep for him. Tav’s protests became louder and faster as Halsin swung her slightly to the side and then tossed her into the water in front of him with a squeal. The sound brought a smile to Astarion’s face.

“Astarion! Quickly, bring me the soap hidden under my shirt.” Halsin yelled back at him. Meanwhile, Tav resurfaced and was laughing and wiping the water from her eyes. Astarion kicked his pants the rest of the way off and found a small bar of soap tangled in Halsin’s clothes.

“Hold her legs, druid. She’s quite the kicker.” Tav continued to laugh and yell in protest but seemed happy enough to let Halsin hold her in his lap. He moved them to slightly more shallow water so they could all sit comfortably. Handing over the bar of soap, Astarion walked around to sit in front of them. Tav sat in Halsin’s lap, facing away from him while he rubbed the bar of soap on to her head. Her fake cries of protest quieted quickly as he worked his hands through her hair. He was right…it was desperately in need of a wash. Astarion reached out underwater and laced his fingers with hers. Halsin slid out from behind her to stand, so she worked her way over to sit on Astarion instead. She put some of the soap on her hands and slowly cleaned the shallow cuts he was sporting along his neck and chest. After a few minutes, Halsin helped her rinse the soap from her long hair restoring it back to it’s beautiful red color. Astarion gently tucked a loose piece behind her ear.

“I hardly ever get to see you with your hair down, darling.” Astarion said softly.

“I don’t like having to re-braid it too often. The braids are more practical for fighting but a pain in the arse to do every day.” She leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder, he winced. “Shit…sorry about that. Halsin?”

Halsin was already making his way behind Astarion. He kneeled down behind him and his hand hovered over the shoulder.

“May I?” He asked leaning forward. Astarion nodded in response. He felt the familiar warmth of Halsin’s healing magic spread over his upper body. It soothed the pain away, and Astarion felt the exhaustion of the day’s fights fade away with it. He took a deep breath and leaned back into Halsin’s chest. Tav followed suit and rested her head on Astarion’s good shoulder, her right hand resting on his chest, and her left arm wrapped around him to rest on Halsin’s leg. Astarion concentrated on the sound of their breathing and the warmth of both of their bodies pressed against him.

“That should do it.” Halsin said gently, lifting his hand. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the shoulder he just healed.

“Thank you.” Astarion responded, still leaning back against the large elf. Halsin sat back down in the shallow water and gingerly moved his arm around Astarion’s waist. He pulled him closer and Astarion felt him kiss Tav’s forehead. They sat there in silence for a moment. Astarion slowly traced light circles on Tav’s back and Halsin’s leg, eliciting soft sighs from each of them. After a few more moments, he finally broke the silence.

“How do you two do it?” He asked softly.

“Do what?” Tav murmured into his shoulder.

“How do you trust so easily? How do you joke and laugh and act so…vulnerable with each other?” He felt both of them squeeze him just a little tighter.

“Like I said,” Halsin began, “it takes time.” Astarion sighed in response.

“It helps to have other people who understand.” Tav added. Astarion sighed again.

“I don’t think anyone else here can truly understand.” He responded. Halsin moved his hands up and rubbed Astarion’s shoulders while Tav sat up so she could look into his eyes.

“We may not understand exactly what you went through my love, but we both know something about healing after someone breaks you. Nothing we endured compares to 200 years of torture it’s true…” She trailed off. “But we do know what it’s like to be broken. We were just lucky enough for it to be much quicker.” She cupped his face in her hands. “No one deserves to be treated the way Cazador treated you. You’ll never fully forget it, but you can move past it, I promise you that. We’re going to help you.” She smiled encouragingly at him.

He wanted so desperately to believe her, but the ever present doubt in his mind prevented that. He sat there for another moment, enjoying the feeling of Halsin’s strong hands gliding over his skin. Tav was still holding his face and staring at him intently. Gods her eyes are beautiful in this light. He decided to change the subject for now.

“You know Tav, if you don’t want to braid your hair I could always do it.” He said, causing her to drop her hands.

“You can?” She asked.

“Of course my sweet, I’m really quite good at it. Just because I can’t see my own hair doesn’t mean I never learned how to style it for others.” He smiled at her.

“I think I’d like that.” She smiled back. He stood up slowly and walked over to the shore where she had thrown the wooden comb earlier. He grabbed the small tool and walked back over to Tav and Halsin.

“Turn around darling, I’m sure I can tame this tressym nest before the sun sets.” He teased. She smiled and turned around, moving all of her hair behind her for him to reach.

He knelt behind her and started carefully running the comb through her hair. Halsin looked on, smiling at them softly. Tav stretched her arms out in an inviting manner, convincing Halsin to come sit between her legs and lay against her chest. She held him gently, stroking his hair and face lovingly. Astarion continued combing until he was confident there were no more snags. He divided her hair into sections to start working on the braids. Every time his fingers moved across her scalp, Tav would let out a happy sigh. It was a lovely sound that made his chest feel warm. She closed her eyes and leaned back into him, which made it a little hard to work with her hair. He didn’t mind though, seeing her relax into him was more intoxicating than the wyvern whiskey she favored. He took every opportunity to let his fingers brush against her neck and shoulders just to see the shivers run across her skin. He would lean forward now and again to kiss her head or shoulders causing her to smile or giggle. Every now and then he would hear the sound of a soft kiss from Halsin against her lips or chest. She handed Astarion the ties she had wrapped around her arms for holding her hair in place. He was able to twist the braids together to keep them off of her neck, he knew she didn’t like her hair to get in the way when she was fighting.

“There we are my dear, and with plenty of time to spare.” Astarion said softly, patting the braids and admiring his work. The sun was just starting to set over the horizon. She reached up with one hand to inspect the braids and smiled.

“Thanks, love.” She said, leaning her head back to look up at him. He responded with a soft kiss on her lips and felt her smile underneath it. Halsin looked up slowly, almost as if he had drifted off into a trance.

“Should we head back to camp?” She asked, still leaning against him.

“Not yet, I don’t…” Astarion trailed off. “I don’t wish to leave just yet.” He settled back into the water behind her. She leaned further into him, still holding Halsin in her arms. Astarion wrapped his arms around her to hold one of her hands, his other hand finding Halsin’s. He held on to both of them as if they were the last piece of debris to float on after a shipwreck.

“Could I perhaps stay with the two of you tonight?” His voice was barely louder than a whisper.

“Of course you can.” Tav responded, her smile widening. She turned so she could look up at him.

“Nothing would make me happier, Astarion.” Halsin added.

Astarion felt himself smile like a fool. He leaned over to Tav and kissed her, softly at first and then with more urgency. He felt her tongue slide softly over his lips, and his breath caught. She pulled away with another quick peck on his cheek. He took another deep breath.

“I’m ready.” He said. “I want this, I want all of this. I want all of you.” With that, both Halsin and Tav stood up. They each offered their hands to help him up, which he accepted. Each of them placed a soft kiss on either side of his face. The sun was nearly set now, so they made their way back to the pile of clothes and prepared to return to camp. As they walked back, Astarion told them about the day they had in the city, how the ambush nearly killed Wyll and some other civilians. He of course had to add some flourishes to his heroic deeds in battle which earned him some gratuitous coos from Tav. Halsin assured them both that he would help check over any injuries from the day. Astarion walked between the two of them the entire way, occasionally holding a hand, or stealing a kiss as they walked. But more than anything, he was thinking about the rest of the night and what other excitement it may hold.

As they approached the camp, the familiar smell of the campfire wafted past them. No doubt Gale had found a way to make something incredible out of the absolute mess of items they scavenge during the day. Most everyone had already taken their usual spots around the camp. Shadowheart, Wyll, and Karlach laughing at everything Minsc said. Gale and Yenna discussing the proper cooking temperature for meaty versus vegetable stews, Gale pretending to not know the answer so Yenna gets to correct him. Lae’zel and Jaheira sitting just far away to avoid excess conversation, but close enough to eavesdrop. Astarion went with Tav to sit by the fire, while Halsin decided to make the rounds to check any injuries. The rest of the evening was the usual light conversation devolving into arm wrestling matches when the extra bottles of wine came out. Astarion never participated but did love watching Tav win most of the time, although tonight she seemed more content to just watch.

One by one, his travelling companions retired to their tents. Halsin was one of the first to excuse himself, smiling at Tav and Astarion knowingly before he left. Finally, it was just Astarion and Tav with the remaining embers of the fire still barely burning in front of them. He stood up and offered his hand to her.

“Shall we, my dear?” Astarion asked with a smile.

“Lead the way.” She replied and took his hand. They walked hand in hand over to Halsin’s tent. She tapped on the walls of the tent gently before parting the entrance. Astarion followed her inside. Halsin was sitting on his bedroll, with his pipe in one hand and a book in the other. He smiled up at them as they entered, setting his pipe to the side. The sweet smell of his tobacco circled the air of the tent. Tav went over and gave him a soft kiss before picking up his pipe and taking a drag. Halsin held out a hand, inviting Astarion to come and sit with them. He happily accepted and sat on the soft bedroll in front of them.

“So Astarion,” Tavara began, blowing puffs of smoke from her lips, “what would you like to do tonight?” The smoke from the pipe was barely obscuring her devilish grin. He moved forward and placed his hands on her thighs before kissing her deeply. He heard a light chuckle from Halsin. After a moment, Tav pulled away with a smile.

“Oh, looking for a little fun, are we?” She teased.

“If a night of passion is our definition of fun, then that is absolutely what I’m looking for.” He whispered back. With that, he suddenly felt Halsin’s large hands working their way into his shirt. They softly glided up and down the length of his back, pulling his shirt off a little bit more each time until it was off and thrown to the other side of the tent. Astarion turned to face him. There was an intensity in his eyes that Astarion hadn’t seen before, and it caused his breath to catch. He reached up to touch Halsin’s face, working his hands up into the druid’s hair. He felt the small braids that Tav had weaved into it earlier and he reached up to the small bun that was holding half of his hair and pulled it out. Halsin’s hair fell softly around his face. He heard a small sigh from Tav at the sight.

Gods he’s handsome. Astarion thought to himself.

He heard a rustling sound behind him, and turned to see that Tav had removed her shirt, exposing her bare chest. He took a moment to look over her half naked form. Her breasts moved slightly with each breath, the familiar scars across her arms caught the dim light in the tent. Her stomach was delightfully curvy and soft. She moved her hands to caress his chest and leaned in to kiss him softly. Behind him, Halsin started kissing along his shoulders and neck, all while his hands continued to learn every line and groove of Astarion’s back. He felt Tav reach around him to tug at Halsin’s shirt. As he pulled the garment off, Astarion slowly moved his hands toward Tav’s pants, gently pulling at them. She returned the gesture, allowing her fingers to ever so slightly graze his growing cock. He felt a shiver shoot down his legs and let out a soft moan against her lips.

“Mmm…you make such lovely sounds, Astarion.” Halsin growled into his neck. As Tav continued teasing him with the lightest touches in his most sensitive places, Astarion reached behind to lightly caress Halsin’s thighs. His touches were rewarded with another growling moan against his back.

“You don’t sound so bad yourself, druid.” Astarion briefly parted from Tav’s lips to whisper back. He continued lightly tracing the stitching of Halsin’s pants, mirroring Tav’s teasing touches on him. As she expertly worked the lacing of his pants down, Astarion let his hands wander to Tav’s breasts. He lightly cupped each one and rubbed his thumbs over her nipples. They hardened under his light touch causing Tav to let out a small whimper into his mouth. She broke away and started kissing down his cheeks to his neck while continuing to tug his pants down towards his ankles. Halsin reached over to help pull Tav’s further down as Astarion kicked his free of his legs.

“I can’t help but notice you’re a little bit behind, love.” Tav gestured to Halsin’s pants still fastened tight against his hips.

“All in good time, my heart.” His breath was hot and sweet against Astarion’s neck. He moved to the other side to pull Tav into a kiss over his shoulder. Astarion took the opportunity to turn around and straddle him.

“Hopefully you won’t mind if I hurry it along.” Astarion whispered into Halsin’s ear. His hands eagerly pulled at the druid’s pants, desperately searching the unfamiliar clothing for any clasps or laces. Halsin gently placed his hands over Astarion’s, slowing his frantic tugging. He guided his hands to the thin laces holding his pants before bringing his hands up to hold Astarion’s face. His intense gaze distracted Astarion from Tav’s hands making their way up his thighs.

“We have all the time in the world, my love. Let us take care of you tonight.” Halsin said, his voice as soft as silk. He leaned in and kissed Astarion deeply. His hands fell to the side as he melted into the kiss. Tav continued caressing every exposed inch of his skin, kissing up and down his neck, eventually making it to his ears. She kissed a spot at the tip of his ear that sent a wave of pleasure down his neck. Halsin chuckled against his lips.

“Ah, we elves do have sensitive ears, don’t we?” Halsin said as he moved to kiss Astarion’s other ear. Another moan escaped from his lips as Halsin nibbled lightly at the bottom. Tav reached over to finish unlacing Halsin’s pants while Astarion was lost in their soft kisses. As Halsin pulled the rest of his clothing off, Astarion felt his cock press against his thigh. It was warm and hard, he could feel the small pulses making their way down its length.

“Come here, love.” Tav whispered. Astarion broke away from Halsin to turn around and face her. She pulled him close and continued kissing him. Her tongue slowly made its way across his lips and playfully swirled around his. She moved her hands down his torso softly tracing the scars found all over his body and eventually making her way to the top of his underwear. Her fingers teased the fabric away from his body, slowly making their way further down. He drew in a sharp breath as her fingers just barely grazed down the length of his shaft, still pulling at his last bit of clothing. Tav pulled back ever so slightly.

“Are you alright, Astarion?” She asked softly.

“Oh yes, darling. You’re just such a tease.” He answered with a smile.

“If you think I’m a tease, wait until Halsin has his way with you.” She purred into his ear, switching to Elvish. The sound of her soft tone caused him to whimper with delight. He always loved it when she spoke to him in Elvish. She kept circling her hand around under the fabric, never quite fully touching his shaft. Astarion started bucking his hips up instinctively, silently begging for her to take him in her hands. He reached one hand up to Tav’s waist, digging his hands into her soft, warm skin. His other hand reached to the side and gripped Halsin’s thigh.

“Does she not have the loveliest voice?” Halsin replied, also switching to Elvish. He could feel Halsin getting harder and harder against his back now. He was grinding against him slowly, sending even more pulses down his shaft all the while covering Astarion’s neck with small kisses and very soft bites.

Tav gave in and ripped the last bit of clothing from his body. Astarion’s breathing quickened as she ran her hands up his thighs finally making their way to wrap around his cock. He let out a quiet sigh of relieved pleasure as she worked her hand up and down slowly and he reached out to drag her face back to his for another passionate kiss. Halsin continued to whisper sweet nothings in Elvish, his deep voice sending shivers through Astarion’s body. Halsin told him over and over how beautiful he was, how perfectly sweet he tasted, how lovely his moans sounded every time Tav hit just the right spot at his tip, how well he handled her incessant teasing, how exceptionally happy he was to hold him tonight. Astarion melted into the large elf’s embrace, begging to hear more in his low, beautiful voice.

“Oh, I could go on all night. But I think I shall have to take a break as my tongue will soon be needed elsewhere.” Halsin gave one more quick peck against his ear before moving one of his hands over Tav’s, falling into her slow, gliding rhythm. Astarion let out another gasp of pleasure at the added warmth of his hand and threw his head back into Halsin’s shoulder. His desire was burning hot in his chest, he slowly reached behind himself to wrap his hands around Halsin. He only got a few strokes in before he moved out from behind Astarion to kneel between his legs, but he was at least rewarded with a few moans from him first. Tav slowly moved to the side to allow Halsin to fully face him. She went to take a place behind Astarion, but Halsin grabbed her first and pulled her into a deep and sloppy kiss. All the while, his hand never left Astarion, continuing to slide up and down, up and down…

“Gods above…” the words left his mouth involuntarily as he felt his body building up for release. He placed his hand over Halsin’s, trying to get him to move faster but he simply broke away from his kiss with Tav to give a teasing smile.

“Oh Halsin…I think he wants you to finish him.” She practically sang the words.

“Please…” Astarion’s voice was rasping, begging for him to fuck him into the void. Instead, the druid’s hands and movements slowed and slowed until he was simply resting his hand at his base.

“Is…is everything alright?” Astarion looked up to ask, out of breath.

“Oh, everything is perfect. I’m just not done with you yet.” Halsin’s primal, growling tone was almost enough to send him over the edge. His sharp gaze made Astarion’s arms feel weak and he was lucky that Tav had moved behind him or he may have fallen flat to the ground. Halsin waited for a couple of minutes to touch him again, except for the deep kiss Astarion pulled him into. His breathing slowed, his hips still ached with desire but he could feel himself backing away from the edge.

It was Tav’s turn to whisper little praises into his ear. She told him all of her favorite parts of him, his hair, his ears, his hands, his lips. She whispered little details of their first night together, reminding him of how she fell for him, every moan from him reminded her of another night where he made the same delicious sounds for her. Her sickly sweet voice brought forth another involuntary moan, which caused Halsin to smile against his lips. He slowly pulled back and gave Astarion a quick wink before starting to kiss his way down his body.

He started with a couple of kisses on his chin and jaw, slow and deliberate followed by a very quick succession of kisses down his neck. His hands working in the opposite direction, starting at his thighs and massaging their way up to his chest. He kept his lips moving down Astarion’s torso. Leaving a trail of wet kisses all over his chest and stomach. As he moved towards his legs, his kisses became slower and longer, much more taunting and deliberate. Astarion felt his body shiver under the touch, causing Tav to chuckle into his neck.

“I told you so.” She whispered, her lips still making their way around his neck.

“I heard that.” Halsin grumbled into Astarion’s inner thigh. The vibrations sent another shiver through his body.

“Use his hair, love. He won’t be able to resist you.” She lowered her voice even more, trying to keep Halsin from hearing.

Astarion slowly worked his hands into Halsin’s hair. Gently stroking his scalp and twirling his fingers among the strands. He felt Halsin tense a little under his touch. The druid looked up from his tortuous kissing with a mischievous smile, causing Tav to giggle. Astarion lightly bunched a wad of hair in his hand and pulled on it gently. Halsin let out a gasp that made him smile.

“That’s it,” Tav continued whispering in Elvish, “just like that.” She was moving her hands all over his body, putting pressure on tight muscles and light touches in his ticklish spots. He relaxed back into her body, allowing her to soothe his overworked muscles while Halsin labored over his lower body.

“Don’t stop…” His voice was barely a whisper. There were no other thoughts in his brain except the intense pleasure he felt at the sweet, gentle touches from his two lovers.

He continued working his hand through Halsin’s hair, earning him more moans and gasps. He grasped Tav’s leg with his free hand, desperate to touch more of her. Suddenly, Halsin grabbed his legs and started bringing them up to rest on his broad shoulders. He lowered himself down, Astarion’s calves resting over his shoulders onto his back. Slowly, he took Astarion into his mouth causing a much louder moan that was interrupted by a kiss from Tav.

“Careful lovey, you don’t want to wake everyone in camp up do you?” Tav whispered, her voice low and sultry.

“I see now why Halsin’s tent is much further away from the others.” He managed to gasp out in response. He felt Halsin chuckle against him, the vibrations driving him mad. His hand grabbed at the druid’s loose hair flowing around his legs, desperately encouraging Halsin to keep his rhythm. His hips instinctively grinding up to meet Halsin, whose tongue was tracing all kind of patterns into his shaft. Every now and then, he would pause at the tip and lightly suck it until Astarion thought he would scream. Just as he thought he couldn’t take anymore, Halsin paused to plant more kisses all around Astarion’s stomach and legs. Instead of going back down on him though, he slowly crawled up to softly kiss Astarion on the lips, his hands making his way into the white curls around his neck. As they sat there, kissing and taking ragged, gasping breaths, Tav’s hands made their way back down to his cock, squeezing lightly at the base and lightening her grip as she made her way up to the tip. Astarion cried out again, he was so close. His entire body craved the sweet release they were teasing from him.

“Oh please…darling please…” Astarion begged between kisses, his legs were starting to shake.

And that was it. Her hand worked its way up and down much faster this time. Halsin’s tongue dove into his mouth, constantly seeking his own while his hand reached down to work with Tav’s. Astarion’s hips moved up and down in unison with their strokes, the friction from both of their hands and his own motion bringing him closer to the edge.

“It’s alright my love,” Tav whispered, once again switching back to Elvish, “we want you to feel good. We want you to let go.” Her soft words were his undoing. He grabbed Halsin and pulled him closer, digging his hands into his muscular back. Astarion broke away from his kisses and buried his face in the druid’s neck. He couldn’t hold on any longer. He cried out in ecstasy, the sound slightly muffled by Halsin’s neck. He felt the warm fluid escape from him and run over their hands. They slowed their strokes, pulling every last drop from him and causing a few more whimpers to escape from his lips.

They sat together, still tangled in their embrace for another few minutes, the only sounds were the heavy breaths between the three of them. As they pulled apart, Halsin stood up and went over to the other side of the tent where he had some cloth for them to clean up. Both Tav and Halsin cleaned their hands and Astarion, slowly bringing his heart rate back down to normal. Tav pressed her forehead to Astarion’s, and Halsin pulled them both into an embrace against his chest. Not a word was said between them as Halsin slowly pulled them down onto the bedroll. He kept Astarion held to his chest as Tavara wrapped her arms around his waist from behind. She pressed a kiss into his shoulder and nuzzled her face into his neck. Halsin placed his lips against Astarion’s forehead, tangling his hand in the curls of his hair. Tav drifted off into her meditation first, still holding onto him tightly with her body pressed against his. Halsin took a little longer, slowly stroking Astarion’s hair and leaving small kisses along his face, but eventually joined Tav. Astarion forced himself to stay awake for just a little longer, trying to enjoy every sensation rolling over him. The warmth of their bodies against his, the lingering feeling of their kisses and touches. Tonight he felt loved, and free. Both Halsin and Tav lavished their love upon him without expecting anything in return. For the first time that he could remember, he was able to fall into a meditation free of nightmares. Held between Halsin and Tav’s warm and comforting embrace, he finally felt safe. He finally felt truly happy.

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