#Like--you know that part in S4 where everyone starts fighting back at once?

[eddiezpaghetti]

going off of your BEAUTIFULLY worded post(s) about byler being inevitable and treating queer characters with respect, do you think they will explore byler's sexuality with a sex scene or just keep it to a kiss? Or perhaps another kind of scene?

Honestly...I don't feel like a sex scene is likely? Not because they're too young or anything. There have been sex scenes between people Will and Mike's age on the show before--thank you Steve and Nancy--so that wouldn't be the issue. Nor do I think it would be an issue with them being a queer couple.

My prediction--and I could be wrong; this kind of depends on how the rest of the season goes with regards to the main action plot--is that Will and Mike are going to get together at a climactic moment. Maybe leading up to the final clash or during it. And sex scenes really need time to breathe. Steve and Nancy had sex at the beginning of Season 1. Jonathan and Nancy had sex in the middle of Season 2. They had time.

But I think, if the writers waited until the final season of the show to make this couple canon, it's because it's important. Not a romantic subplot, but plot. I think, in some way or another, the romantic plot and the action plot are going to be intertwined, and they're going to climax together. You know, like they're having SE-- There'd just be no comfortable place to fit a sex scene at the height of the action. Like, imagine trying to fit a Lumax sex scene when they're in the attic at the end of Season 4. It just doesn't go there. They got the cute little doodle scene instead.

I very much think Mike and Will are going to kiss, though. I'd be shocked if they didn't.

So basically what I'm saying is...I feel like Byler is going to be too important for a sex scene to happen. I could see a scene early on portraying some sort of sexuality, particularly from Mike's side, to show to the general audience that something is happening, that it's not just one-sided. For instance maybe they'd have to change clothes in the same room for some reason, a la Joyce and Hopper in S4, and Mike would look just a little too long before turning around. But a full-blown sex scene...probably not?

The more specific stuff like this gets, of course, the harder it is to predict, so I'm a little less certain about this prediction than Byler simply being canon, but, yeah, gun to my head? Kiss, absolutely. Sex, probably not.

[eddie-sweetheart]

Spare me! - Part 1

You and Eddie have a crush on each other, but it takes Murray Bauman to make it embarrassingly clear.

Tropes: Eddie Munson x Henderson female reader, fluff, Murray exposing your feelings, forced proximity, a very soft Eddie.

Warnings: Mention and/or depiction of fighting and wounds, teeny-tiny diversion from the show's timeline (this one's more about the concept than the overall S4 plot😉).

Word count: 5.4k

Author’s notes: I recently rewatched all seasons of ST and noticed how Murray always knows what's going on in the gang's hearts... thought I'd give his Cupid skills a try with Eddie eheh

✨Part 2✨

🌹 Masterlist 🌹

Happiness can be found in the strangest of things; but it never occurred to you that happiness - or, better, relief - might one day come into the shape of a faded and battered-down warehouse in the outskirts of Hawkins. 

However, as soon as the once yellow and light blue building comes into sight as you come out of the woods at the side of the road, panting and with your feet hurting like hell from walking all that way, you almost feel like crying. 

“We’re here” you state with a tired exhale, a smile warming up your face as you turn to your side. “We made it, Eddie”. 

“Thank God” is all Eddie can mutter under his breath before tripping on his feet and almost falling to the ground. You rush to his side, throwing one of his arms around your shoulders as you try to support him. 

“Hey, hey, stay with me” you tell him, your free arm on his chest, holding him steady. “Just a few more steps and then you can rest”. 

You can feel his chest rising and falling into heavy breaths under the thin layer of his Hellfire shirt as he nods slowly. You’ve never been so physically close to him, you’ve never touched him like this - and sure enough, he’s never leaned on you like his life depended on it, as he’s doing now. The whirlwind of feelings is enough to send your head spinning, but now it’s not a good time for fluttery butterflies and quickened heartbeats: you need to take him inside before he passes out. 

You’ve been walking through the woods outside Hawkins for hours after escaping Jason and his crew of insane jocks. You were supposed to bring Eddie some food at Reefer’s Rick, but when you reached the boathouse it was too late: Jason and his goons had found Eddie and had cornered him, turning him into their personal punching ball. He’d been able to stall them for a bit with the same broken bottle he’d used to attack Steve, but it hadn’t been enough. 

You even tried to stop them, but Andy had mercilessly elbowed you away, making you trip and fall into the freezing waters of Lovers Lake. Soaking wet, you were struggling to climb back up on the floor of the room when it happened. 

Patrick was suddenly frozen still, eyes white and blind. Andy noticed it first, and he tried to bring him back into consciousness by calling his name, shaking him, but you knew he was gone now. You took your chance as soon as the boy started levitating, knowing well enough what was next - and the horror and stupor that possessed Jason and the others as Patrick’s bones started to snap was just the diversion you needed. 

While they helplessly tried to save their friend, in a rush of desperation you managed to rise from the lake, grab a semi-unconscious Eddie and make him barely stand up to get him into the boat in the middle of the room. And just as everyone else started to scream in despair at Patrick’s death, you were rowing away from the boathouse, towards the opposite shore of the lake. 

Eddie’s wounds, thankfully, weren’t as serious as you feared; but he was bleeding, and you needed a safe place where you could contact the rest of the group and set up a meeting. You needed the help of someone you trusted, who wouldn’t ask too many questions and who lived reasonably close. That’s when it clicked. 

You met Murray Bauman two years ago, when you went to his house with Nancy and Jonathan to expose the secrets of Hawkins Lab. Last year, he joined you and the others at Starcourt to bring down the Russians and their damned machine, which opened the Upside Down once again. He knows everything and he would understand - and that’s how you ended up buzzing his intercom in the middle of the night, with Eddie’s body slumped against yours. 

“State your name”

Murray’s voice echoes from a speaker above the door. You really don’t have time or energy left for this ritual, but you know it’s mandatory. 

“It’s me, Y/n Henderson” you urgently speak up, trying not to be too loud, “Murray, let us in - we need help”. 

“Show your face” Murray adds through the speaker, his tone as flat as that of an answering machine.  

“Murray, please” you hiss through your teeth, your voice edging towards desperation as you snap your head up towards the camera above you - wondering how he’s going to see anything more than a blurry shape in the dark.

A second later, the metal door of the warehouse swings open to reveal Murray Bauman standing in front of you, with nothing but a white tank top and matching boxers on. 

“What do you want?” He asks you, his eyes lingering inquisitively on an almost zoned-out Eddie and his black eye. “You woke me up”. 

“It’s back” you blurt out, “it’s back and we’re in danger. I’ll tell you everything, but we need a place to stay for tonight - he’s not doing well” you add, nodding at Eddie. “Please, Murray”. 

Murray’s face suddenly turns pale at your words, and he gives you a single, silent nod. He then moves to the side to let you in, his head turning left and right to look at the street before closing the door. 

You stumble towards the sofa, Eddie’s weight almost throwing you off balance as you carefully place him down. As soon as he lays his head on one of the pillows, he finally passes out. 

“So” Murray addresses you, his head tilted to the side as he nods at Eddie, “who’s that?”

You adjust a strand of Eddie’s curly hair away from his closed eyes and check his temperature and breathing to make sure that he’s okay before turning towards Murray. 

“He’s Eddie Munson” you explain with an exhausted sigh. 

Murray’s eyes widen as if they’re about to pop out of their sockets, Eddie’s name immediately reminding him of the latest news reports on TV. “Munson? You’ve brought a wanted murderer into my home?” He exclaims under his breath, hands frantically moving in the air. 

“He didn’t do it” you’re quick to add, a glimpse of anger straining your voice as you drop down on a chair next to a small table in the kitchen corner, “He’s innocent. I’ll tell you everything, I promise… but I need some water first”

Murray glares at you, but then he moves to the cupboard, grabs two glasses and proceeds to open the freezer. 

“I think I have something better than that” he states, taking out of the cold compartment a bottle of vodka. 

As you two drink a few shots, the liquor tingling down your throat and burning inside you (but bringing you some much needed comfort), you tell him everything from the start. How you met Eddie by giving Dustin, Mike and Lucas endless lifts to their D&D campaigns, how you and your brother looked for him with Steve, Robin and Max after the events at the trailer park, swearing by his innocence and supporting your claims with Max’s story about the flickering lights and Eddie’s own recounting of Chrissy’s death. How you’re now on the run from Jason Carver and the Hawkins High basketball team, and how you’re planning to meet with everyone else tomorrow.

Murray stares into the void as he listens, taking in every word and growing almost imperceptibly paler. 

Once you’re done with the story, the bottle is half empty and your head is slightly spinning. Murray is looking at you with a resigned expression, still sipping on his fifth glass of vodka. 

“You can stay” he finally tells you, “but just for tonight. I have a plane to catch tomorrow”.

Even if you knew he would say yes, you’re so relieved you almost hug him. You wouldn’t do that in any normal situation, especially not when he’s still half naked, but you’re so grateful that you’d even be willing to go past that. 

However, before you stop yourself, he immediately puts up his hands, shaking his head. 

“Uh-uh” he says, “Don’t come any closer, please - you stink. Go take a shower, there’s a clean towel you can use in the bathroom closet”. 

Now that the pressing need to find shelter and let Eddie rest and recover is resolved, you remember that you actually need to take care of yourself, as well: your hair and clothes are still a bit damp (and, yes, smelly) from when you fell into the lake, and your side is hurting where Andy’s elbow crashed into it. And, now that your body is finally starting to relax, you’re realizing how exhausted you actually are.

You get up and head towards the corridor, stopping by the sofa to glimpse at Eddie. He’s still knocked out, hair sprawled around his face and a ringed hand resting on his chest. Your gaze softens visibly as you lower your head over his to check his breathing one more time - and you realize that he’s probably shifted into a sleeping spell.

“Can you keep an eye on him while I clean myself up?” You ask Murray as you straighten yourself up again.

Murray knowingly looks at you with his eyebrows raised. “Yeah, sure, it’s not like I’m going anywhere at this point” he blurts out, ushering you with a quick movement of his hands. “Now please go, go, go”.

You get into the bathroom and as you close the door behind you, you finally allow yourself to take a big breath. You carefully remove your t-shirt in front of the mirror to check the damage and you notice that a black and yellow bruise is already forming on your side. You touch it slightly with the tip of your finger and, yeah, it hurts, but it seems quite superficial and not that serious - Eddie has it worse, for sure.

You get into the shower and the hot water makes you sigh in pleasure as soon as it hits your tense shoulders. You’d love to spend a whole hour under the heavy flow, surrounded by warm steam, but you really want to check on Eddie and be there when he wakes up. So, with great effort and a lot of resistance from your body, you turn the water off and get out of the shower box, grabbing a large white towel from the closet that Murray mentioned and wrapping it around your body. Then, you tiptoe back into the living room, trying not to drip too much water on the floor. 

“Do you have some clothes I can borrow, by any chance? Mine really need a wash” you ask Murray, who’s still sitting at the table while flipping the pages of today’s newspaper.

“Oh lord, and then what? A VIP ticket to Area 51 as well?” Murray sighs loudly while rolling his eyes, but he immediately pushes the newspaper away and gets up from the chair. “Let me guess: he’ll need my clothes too, right?” He asks you, nodding at Eddie.

“Uhm… yeah, I think so” you shyly reply, earning a glare in return.

“You’re lucky I’ve done an extra load of laundry today” Murray replies, pointing a finger at you before disappearing into the corridor.

You’re about to sit back down on your chair when a low groan makes your head snap around.

“Y/n” Eddie murmurs, his eyes flickering open as you rush to the sofa and kneel by his side on the carpet. 

“I’m here, Eddie” you tell him, scanning his face as he comes back into consciousness and feeling his forehead with the back of your hand to check for any signs of a temperature. 

“Wait, are you naked?” He slowly asks once he looks at you, still in a confused daze as a tilted smirk appears on his lips.

You let out a chuckle, your hands rushing to tighten the towel around your body. “Don’t even think about that, Munson” you reply, shooting back up on your feet as Murray comes back into the room.

As soon as Eddie sees him, he tries to sit up, but he struggles as pain makes him hiss at any attempt at moving. You help him, accompanying his body up by gently taking his hand with one of yours and placing the other on his back.

“Welcome back to the world of the living. Shower’s that way” Murray states, pointing back towards the bathroom before dropping a bundle of clean clothes on the sofa next to Eddie. “You can use these. I’m also getting you a first aid kit because, if I can be honest, your face looks like shit”.

“Uhm… thanks, man” Eddie tentatively replies, throwing a questioning look in your direction.

“Yeah, yeah, she’s told me everything already” Murray addresses him again, “I know you’re not a serial killer”.

Eddie’s shoulders drop, relief visibly filling him up as he grabs a pair of faded sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt from the pile next to him and manages to stand up, making a few steps towards the bathroom door. 

“Do you… uh, do you think you need help with that?” You ask him, blushing slightly at the idea of following him.

Eddie turns towards you, his signature grin back on his lips now that he knows he’s safe. “I can manage that” he says, looking for support on the doorframe as he stumbles a little, “Besides, I don’t think you want to see the sweet old tatties on full display” he jokes.

Your cheeks get even redder as you desperately hope that he’s not reading your mind right now. “Yeah, uhm, cool” you reply, catching a glimpse of a visibly stupefied and slightly annoyed Murray behind you, “I’ll get changed in the meantime. Once you’re done, we’ll try to patch you up”.

“Roger that” Eddie replies, finally closing the bathroom door behind him.

“Was all that flirting necessary?” Murray asks you as he leads you to the guest room, where you plan to change into the remaining gym shorts and hoodie.

“It wasn’t flirting - we’re friends” you briefly explain, shutting his protests down. “I’ll be back in a sec and then I’ll need your radio” you’re then quick to add, getting inside the room and closing the sliding doors. 

“We’re friends” Murray mocks you in a high-pitched voice as he goes back to the bottle of vodka, “Yeah, and I’m Russian”.

When you come out of the guest room and sit on the slumped sofa in the living room, Murray brings you his radio, dropping it unceremoniously on the coffee table. You thank him with a smile and start fiddling with the channels until you find the right one. 

“Dustin, do you copy?” You ask into the speaker. While you wait for a response, the bathroom door opens to reveal a cleaned up, but still limping, Eddie. He stumbles back to the sofa and sits down next to you. 

After a few minutes of silent buzzing, the radio crackles and Dustin voice echoes in the room. 

“Y/n, thank god” he exclaims, his familiar voice making both you and Eddie smile, “are you guys okay? You didn’t check in when we called you”

“Yeah, uhm, we had a little setback” you explain, “Reefer Rick’s is compromised - Jason found us. But we made it out and we’re safe at Murray’s. Eddie’s here with me” you add, glancing up at him. 

“Hello, Henderson” Eddie says as he leans down towards the radio, his damp hair brushing against your cheek.

“Munson” Steve voice suddenly echoes from the speaker, “do you know where Skull Rock is? Glad to know you’re okay, by the way”

“Hey, I was talking to them” Dustin mutters in the background. 

You and Eddie exchange a look, then he gently takes the speaker from your hands to reply. His fingers lightly graze yours with the gesture, making your skin tingle. 

“I know it, yeah” he says, nervously scratching his hair, “are we meeting there tomorrow?” 

“Yes, ten o’clock, Skull Rock” Steve repeats, “We have to go now, but we’re keeping the line open if you need us. Say hi to y/n for me and try to be careful in the meantime. Over and out”. 

Eddie places the radio speaker back on the table and slumps down into the sofa, his hands running up and down his legs. 

“Hey” you ask him, placing a hand on one of his to calm him down. “Are you okay?”

He looks at you, his gaze softening. “That’s a good one, sweetheart” he replies, absentmindedly intertwining his fingers with yours. Your stomach turns into a swarm of butterflies as you notice the glint in his eyes - what is going on?

Murray coughs, and you both immediately let go. 

“So, uhm, let me take a look at those” you stutter, nodding at the few wounds on Eddie's face as you gently touch him with the tip of your fingers, slowly moving his head side to side to inspect the damage. He has a split lip, a cut on his left cheek and a black eye, with some leftover blood dried just under his nose. Your heart tightens at the thought of what Jason, Andy and Patrick did to him. 

“Murray” you ask, turning around to face him, “what about that first aid kit?”

“Yes” Murray exclaims, clapping his hands before rummaging through one of the kitchen drawers until he takes out a small, white box. “This is it, but I’ll leave you to it and go back to sleep” he says, handing the box to you over the sofa, “you know where the guest room is - just don’t be too loud, okay? I’m not in the mood to listen to you two-” 

“Murray!” You exclaim horrified, as Eddie’s eyes run back and forth between the two of you in shock. “We’re not sleeping together- I mean, I will stay here on the sofa” you specify, feeling the heat of shame rising up your neck. 

“I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa - I’m sleeping on the sofa” Eddie interrupts you in mild confusion. 

“Eddie, you’re hurt-” you try to talk back, but he puts one hand up to shush you. 

“Nope” he says, shaking his head, “You brought this old, battered body here, you need to rest in a proper bed”. 

“Exactly” you specify, “your body is battered, so that’s why-“

“GUYS!” Murray interrupts you with a yell, “Enough with that lovers’ quarrel. Just sleep in the same damn bed like you both clearly so desperately desire and let me rest in peace”. 

“It’s not a lovers’ quarrel!” you and Eddie both exclaim, immediately exchanging a look. 

Murray stares at you in disbelief as silence suddenly falls in the room - however, it doesn’t last long. 

“Oh, spare me!” Murray finally blurts out, loudly. “Fucking unbelievable. Listen” he addresses you both, a finger pointed at your faces. “I’ve been through this shit twice already - Byers and Wheeler first, then Joyce and Hopper. It must run in your whole damn Ghostbusters slash Scooby-Doo group, I swear. You” he turns to Eddie, who looks at him with wide eyes, “you’re the nerdy metalhead that nobody in the whole world would ever love because he’s a freak, am I correct? So you hide behind an unnecessarily thick wall of sarcasm and cynicism because if you don’t put up that façade someone might actually find out that you crave to love, and to be loved. And what happens one day? You find her“ he adds, turning to you next. “And it’s a fucking cliché, because she’s your best friend’s sister and oh my god she’s untouchable and she will never look at you, right? Wrong! Because every time she looks at you - and boy, she does that a lot - she basically melts into the ground, turns literally purple, loses all sense of reason and logic and starts waking up people in the middle of the damn night to keep you safe. On that note: Y/n, stop lying to yourself and finally admit that you’re head over heels about him - and stop being so insecure, so dubious, so full of useless self-pity and worry. Open your beautiful girly eyes and get a grip, because YES - he’s head over heels about you too, okay?”

Murray takes a deep breath as you and Eddie sit there in silence, avoiding each other’s eyes like the plague. 

“Good” Murray finally exclaims, proud of his little speech - he’s convinced he’s the best Cupid out there by now. “Have a good night, Mr. and Mrs. Just Friends” he concludes, heading towards his bedroom and locking himself in. 

The living room is so silent that you can hear the faint chirping of the crickets outside the house. Your hands are sweating on your lap as their grip on the first-aid box tightens, your eyes locked on it because you’re too embarrassed to meet Eddie’s. Your mind is spinning as it tries to analyze every single interaction, every word you’ve exchanged with him, looking for any possible instance of you slipping up and showing your true feelings - and, for a second, you also consider looking for signs that might confirm what Murray has just stated. That Eddie might actually feel the same. 

Little do you know that Eddie is doing the exact same thing. But he’s quicker to find a way to change the subject and tone down the awkwardness, because yes, he’s just been blatantly exposed, but making sure that you’re okay - that both of you are okay with each other - is way more important than finding a way to recover from Murray’s words.

“So, uhm…” he begins, stuttering lightly as he nervously starts playing with his rings. “Is there a… uhm, a bandaid or something in there?” He asks you, nodding at the kit with a tentative smile. 

You snap back to reality. “Oh, yeah, I guess so - let me look for it” you blurt out as you open the box, fidgeting with its contents until you manage to find a tiny bottle of disinfectant, a few cotton balls and two bandaids with a red and blue polka dot print on them. 

“Not so metal, I’m afraid” you tell Eddie as you show him the bandaids with a small smile that matches his own, making him chuckle as he realizes that yes, probably you’re still okay.

“As long as they keep these battle wounds from bleeding” he jokes, taking them from you before starting to peel one of them open, “I think they’ll do”.

“Oh no, wait” you exclaim, blocking him with your hands. If someone asked, both of you could swear that the sparkles erupting from your hands touching were brightly visible in the dim light of the room. “We need to clean those properly first”.

Eddie sighs in defeat and you proceed by pouring some disinfectant on one cotton ball, dabbing it on the cut on his lip and the wound on his cheek. 

“I’m sorry, I know it burns” you apologize as you feel him holding his breath, guessing that it’s because of the pain. That’s true, but just in a very small part - mostly, it’s having you so close to him that leaves him breathless and clueless about making any move. He’s actually too absorbed in admiring your long eyelashes and how they flutter as your eyes attentively scan his face, counting the pale freckles and tiny skin marks scattered on your cheeks and nose, noticing the clean scent of shampoo from your still damp hair and the faint hint of your cologne still left on your neck. Actually, the burning is welcome to him, as it’s the only thing keeping him grounded and restraining him from doing something stupid and way too risky - like, he guesses, kissing you.

“All done” you finally state, tapping on the edge of the bandaid you’ve just placed on his cheek before moving back away from him. Both of you feel the space between your bodies, and it seems as deep as the ocean.

“Thank you, kind lady” he replies, his eyes still lingering on yours.

You both stand up at the same time, the awkwardness back in the room as you nervously look at each other with an embarrassed smile - because, you’ve just realized, it’s time to make a decision on the bed thing.

“Soooo” Eddie tentatively begins, taking a strand of his wavy hair and barely hiding his face behind it as he looks sideways at you, “Since there’s no way I’m letting you sleep on this sucker…” he begins, waving one hand at the sofa.

“Eddie, come on-” you try, but he accepts no protests on your side.

“And you’re too kind and stubborn to let me be the knight in shiny armor” he continues as you scoff, smiling, “I guess we could, uhm…” he concludes, words dying in his throat as a wave of insecurity washes over him. Maybe what he’s about to propose is way out of line…

“Share?” you ask, finishing his sentence - but it’s more a wish than an actual question. 

Eddie’s lips curve upside down in one of his signature smiles. “If that’s okay for you, of course… I- I don’t mind” he tells you, waiting patiently for your consent as he begins fiddling again with his rings.

You give him one warm, matching smile. “Seems big enough for two” you say, nodding towards the bed that is visible through the sliding doors of the guest room across from you. “It’s okay for me”.

“Great… great, okay” Eddie states, finally taking a breath as he nods repeatedly. God, not even bullies at school have ever made him so nervous. He should really get a grip.

You head towards the room, bumping into each other as you unsuccessfully try to get in at the same time. You both let out a timid laugh and Eddie moves sideways, bowing slightly and showing you in with an extended arm. 

“Ladies first” he theatrically states, letting you into the room.

You take a few steps inside and sit down on the folding bed, which is set up with clean sheets. Probably Murray got it all prepped when you were in the shower and Eddie was still knocked out.

“Good, I always sleep on the left side” Eddie exclaims, as he notices you’ve taken your place on the right edge of the mattress. 

You chuckle as you lie back, while Eddie crosses the room to get to the other side of the bed. He lies down with a sigh, too, looking at you one last time for permission to turn the lights off. You nod slightly, tiredness already making its way through your exhausted limbs, and with a flick of Eddie’s fingers the room gets pitch black.

“Goodnight, Eddie” you whisper in the dark.

“Goodnight, sweetheart” he replies, the nickname he started to use as a joke (but that doesn’t feel like a joke anymore) escaping his lips before it’s too late, lingering in the air as silence falls between you once again.

You both turn around away from each other, facing the outer side of the bed. You close your eyes, feeling safe for the first time in hours (and, maybe, days), the comfort of Eddie’s presence next to you and the warmth of the blankets wrapped around you making your mind drift farther, and farther away…

But it takes you just a few seconds to understand that you can’t sleep. 

It’s one of those cursed situations in which you’re actually too tired to get some rest, and as your body finally relaxes your mind jolts awake, fully active and functioning better than it ever did.

You sigh deeply, the mattress creaking loudly as you move to turn around and switch position - just to find out that Eddie has turned around as well, and he’s now facing you.

His breath warmly and regularly fans over your face, and you figure he’s asleep - until his voice breaks the silence with a whisper.

“Y/n” he softly asks, “are you awake?”

You smile in the dark, your eyes still closed. 

“Mhm”

“I just wanted to say, thank you for today” he murmurs, “You saved my life. Very metal of you”.

“Anytime, Munson” you whisper back, “take it as a thank-you gift for keeping Dustin busy and relieving me of my big sister duties once a week for the past year”.

“That little devil” Eddie chuckles as he scoots closer to you. Your heart starts beating a little faster, as you feel the faint thread of electricity that has formed between your bodies. “I guess stubbornness runs in the family. But I’m grateful to him, actually” he adds, shuffling slightly under the covers.

“Why is that?” you ask him, the thought of sleeping now completely forgotten in some corner of your mind.

Eddie stays silent for a few seconds, then speaks again.

“I guess you don’t remember the first time you brought him to Hellfire” he softly says, and you think you can catch a glimpse of his smile.

“Actually, I do” you reply, the memory of that late September afternoon easily coming to your mind. “Especially because you kept staring at our car when we got there. Leaning against the school’s front door like a dark, mysterious character straight out of a fantasy novel” you joke, tentatively moving your hand in the dark to poke him.

And just as you actually find his body, Eddie finds your hand. His long, slightly calloused fingers intertwine with yours, his thumb drawing soft circles on your burning skin. He’s glad the lights are off, because he’s too scared that you’d back away if you saw the nervousness mixed with badly hidden love in his gaze.

“As nice as your car is” he says, chuckling, “I wasn’t staring at it, at all. I was…” he hesitates, before deciding to risk it all. “I was actually wondering how Henderson could have such a beautiful creature for a sister” he blurts out. 

You lie still in the dark, speechless, your hand still into Eddie’s. Your brain is running ten thousand miles an hour, trying to wrap around what he’s just said.

“I mean, he’s a, uhm… a cute kid, I guess?” Eddie quickly adds, trying to make sense of his words, “but when I saw you I thought… I mean, I actually thought, that’s how Arwen must have looked like. And that’s how Aragorn must have felt when he, uhm… ”.

He can’t finish the sentence, because your hand has moved from the gentle grasp of his fingers to his cheek, pulling him closer to you until your lips meet in the dark.

The kiss is soft and slow, and you pour into it all the words you’ve never said and feelings you’ve kept hidden for months, careful to avoid the healing cut on his lower lip as you move. Eddie’s arms wrap around your body, his legs now intertwined with yours under the blanket. 

You explore each other’s bodies - your hands through his hair, his lips down your neck, t-shirts lifting up and skin burning at any soft touch as the steel of his rings slides under the thick cotton of your clothes. You both feel safe, understood, and seen even in the pitch black of the room. It almost feels like meeting for the first time, too.

Eddie doesn’t let go of you, not even when you stop kissing to take a breath, the weight of the day now finally overcoming you both. As you lie in his arms, your head placed on his chest so that you can hear the beat of his heart, you realize that this is what true relief - or, better, happiness - must feel like.

“Guess your friend was right” Eddie says, his hand caressing your ruffled hair as his words are followed by a yawn.

“He usually is”. You chuckle, closing your eyes as your breaths deepen and slow down.

Then, you both fall asleep.

—♥︎—

✨Part 2✨

[aengelren]

hi, in the tags of the post about others ignoring eren's depression you said that you feel like in ch 125 he cried out for help a lot--i wonder if you meant a different chapter? 125 is the one with annie's backstory and eren isn't in it.

i'm super curious about this part of aot, to me it seems about equally as likely that someone did try to talk with him, and eren just wasn't honest, and that noone did

talking about this post

hey! you’re right, it’s chapter 123. excuse me for the long reply but here we go

I think Eren’s depression was emphasized in this chapter and how far along the line he was to the point of not being able to enjoy the sights they previously dreamt of

at this point, Eren knew the people he would kill people, innocent people, like he once was. said himself that he’s no be better than Reiner. an absolute hypocrite, which is proven when he saves Ramzi from the bullies, knowing he’d kill him later. he’s a walking contradiction, and hates himself for it. the feeling when you’re doing something wrong, while being aware of your wrongdoings yet you can’t stop, he self destructs and is unable to deal with the guilt that follows

nobody hates Eren more than himself, there’s no reason to love a monster like him, so why does she never leave his side?

he believed he couldn’t be loved, because he doesn’t love himself. The concept of somcone loving him was unfathomable. We see it throughout the series, he's constantly refered to as a monster, hits deep depression in season 3 where he thinks the world would be in a better place if he was dead, felt like a burden because everyone kept blaming the scouts deaths on him. Even in s4 when he's universally referred to as a devil but no longer fights to prove otherwise. so the fact that Mikasa always wants to be close to him isn't something he understands. He needs confirmation, why does she protect him all the time? Is it because she lost her family? Since Eren himself felt undeserving

Eren wasn’t being honest with them, but what depressed person is?

that doesn’t mean anyone else is to blame, Eren is fully responsible for his actions and we don’t know if talking out the mess in his head would help. personally, I don’t think it would. Eren craved an empty world(that’s up for another discussion) but i still feel emphasize with his self hatred, and the fact that he self destructed to the point of (rightfully) losing the life he could’ve lived and even regretting it in his final moments. (i can go into specifics if anyone feels confused)

so, did his friends ignore the visible changes in him after kissing Historias hand? yes. it’s like Hanji said, they were too naive and Eren felt he had to act on his own, (but then again, he chose to start hiding the truth from them even before kissing her hand, in court when he realized Dina was of royal blood.) HOWEVER, i don’t think that’s relevant to the eventual outcome as i believe Eren would do the rumbling regardless, but i do think it made his sendoff a lot more heartbreaking, knowing he spent his last years, trapped in a bundle of past and ‘future’ memories, a load on his shoulders that he never burdened anyone else with and no one bothered to do something about (Mikasa tried) and yes, i am fully aware they all had their own stuff to think about. i’m not trying to blame the rumbling on them

Mikasa reflected on the outcome if she had given him another answer that day, and we saw that they would’ve ran away from it all. in the cabin Eren says he couldn’t bring himself to commit genocide, that’s how we know it’s an impossible future. a desire he has but Eren wasn’t born to live a normal life. “because Eren and death, are inextricably inbound” -lost girls

he’s generally a very tragic character, which makes it hard not to feel for his humanity but there’s no ignoring the destructive part of him. sorry for reeling off but to get back to the point, i think he was very lost and that his friends ignored it until it blew he became someone that couldn’t be saved, but in the end it might’ve not mattered. “you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved”

thanks for reading!

(since i can’t add any more panels i’ll reblog with the ones i want to share)

[chirpsythismorning]

It’s weird thinking about how, especially in s4, Mike has connected with Will for closure about his relationship to El, though he has never done anything in comparison to connect with El for closure about his friendship with Will??

And what I mean by that, is that Will is one of Mike's best friends and El is his girlfriend. Wouldn't he want to have deep conversations with El about all parts of his life, including his friendship with Will and the struggle they're having there?

This isn't to say that every conversation between them has to be about Will, but I would at least like for it to be close to equal? Like s3, it was as if Will did not exist in Mike and El's world beyond him being in the frame, and s4 had a similar approach... Why can't Mike even disclose to El UGH Will is being clingy or whatever, and make it clear that Will is completely platonic, for the sake of the audience at least? Instead, what we get is very very few mentions of Will at all between them. But the ones that we do get, are incriminating as hell as to why all of this might be.

S1. Pretty self explanatory what I mean by that.

There's two scenes in particular though that I want to talk about because they are direct parallels of each other.

At the end of s1, we get Mike mentioning Will specifically in his plan for the future to El. He says that she can just have his room bc he spends most of his time in his basement anyways... (*cough* Mike projected during the rain fight *cough*) And that it'll be like she is Nancy's sister...

At the end of s3, we get Mike mentioning Will specifically in his plan for the future to El AGAIN. And this is happening directly after his conversation with Will. In that conversation Will and Mike have about their own idea of the future, they do not talk about El at all and only focused on Mike's insecurity that Will might go on to find another party. Mike doesn't voice any similar concern about El moving on in his conversation with her afterwards...

And that's where Mike making any mention of Will to El, just falls off.

In s4 we get El's letter and this is probably the first time since s1 that El has acknowledged Will in reference to Mike (assuming Mike asked how the Byers were doing, seeing as most of her letter came off like she was responding to a questionnaire...)

Again this is all very very weird. These are two best friends and a boyfriend and girlfriend. Mike is being weird about these relationships co-existing at once and how the writers navigate that between those relationships makes it all start to make sense once you actually start to think about it.

And s4 is where it just gets weird... Because Mike is clearly very much struggling over the distance that has come between him and Will over the last year. On the ride home after Rink-O-Mania, they make a point to show Mike looking over at Will briefly, not El. This means that what was on his mind after all of that, was Will.

WHY is Mike not disclosing a big part of what is upsetting him, ie his relationship with Will, to El, his gf? Again, not saying it has to be a bunch of mentions, but really, NO conversation? Not even a mention?

Why is Will not mentioned AT all in their conversations, even though we know Mike is feeling a lot of emotions about Will? Because I think, if it was truly platonic, Mike would be fully capable of opening up with her about his struggles with his best friend, as a bf looking for comfort from his gf about his failing friendship.

Why didn't we get a scene of Mike separating El from everyone else back in Hawkins, saying it wasn't the same without her there? Mike literally separates Will and El saying he was worrying about her too much and felt like he lost Will as a result.......

Those types of moments should have been going to the romantic pairing, not the platonic one...

I just don't think s4 Mike would be caught dead admitting those conflicted feelings he has about Will to El. Like imagine him bringing up Will in a conversation with her? You just can't. Post s4 it's just not something you can picture without thinking oh shit oh shit. Like it's just not possible.

I do think that if it was as simple as Mike being like overwhelmed by Will's feelings or just having basic platonic qualms with his best friend, he would be fully capable about confiding in El about that. Instead Mike and El cant even have a conversation without making each other feel woefully misunderstood about where they both stand on things.

Also, if it was as simple as Mike just being scared to lose El and feeling insecure and needing his platonic best friends support, he wouldn't have needed to dance around the fact that he couldn't tell El he loved her, to Will. If they were purely platonic, he would lay it all out there, with no ambiguity, so that he could actually get closer to resolving things with El, instead of stalling, which is what he did literally all season, seeking emotional support from Will.

The point is, Mike seeks emotional support from Will, but not El. And when it matters most, he is making clear Will is always going to be involved in his picture perfect plan of the future and what he wishes for it to hold, even if he isn't certain what that will be. He wants Will there regardless.

Not having Mike have those deep moments with El, not having it be about them and only them, only for Mike to not really tell El about how he's truly feeling all around, beyond his insecurities in their relationship... says a lot about how he is probably feeling deep down but wont say out loud... (literally).

[allisoooon]

what’s your favorite klaus moment this season?

I'll answer with my favorite moments from each of them, I think.

Luther: He had so many wholesome moments this season, but it's probably between him asking Viktor to be his best man and him and Klaus in the Void. I kind of lean towards the latter because the whole damn thing was so delightfully brotherly and Luther at once calling him out and building him up was perfect.

Diego: David will never get enough kudos for how he played the "Guy in a Carpet" scene. That may be the single trickiest acting moment in the entire season. It had to remain darkly hilarious (and it did), but at the same time, he had to portray a father whose son just killed his brother. The odd moment where you can see Diego starting to cry, then hold it together to try to deal with the situation, the fact that he was like a half-beat away from full-on Weekend at Bernie's-ing Klaus, being the least convincing at convincing Chet that they are playing a game called Guy in a Carpet, appreciating that Chet doesn't ask further questions, his hysterical screaming when Klaus comes back to life, his relief, then breaking down in tears at the very end after it's clear Klaus is going to be okay. Never enough kudos.

Allison: F...fucking hard, this one. I have a feeling all of s3 Allison was a setup for a hell of a s4 for her. I think, though, it might be when she has a panic attack after finding out the universe is ending. Her massive blowup with Viktor, though...that was a bad, dirty fight, and the writers did not have to go that hard, and it was brave that they did. I think they went too far, but I'd rather they go too far than keep underplaying Allison's potential, if that makes sense. With everyone else getting better this season, I think Allison's psyche thought it was finally safe for her to get worse. She is probably going to find, next season, that even though she has Claire and Ray back, she is no longer the mother or wife they remember, and that is going to be hard for her. She knows she sacrificed parts of herself to get them back. Does she fit into their lives anymore, or them into hers? I'm not sure, but I'm excited for her next season. Anyway, so, her big fight with Viktor was really good because you could see where they were both coming from, but they both somehow managed to be in the wrong, even if Allison is the one who was cruel in the moment. An ESH situation.

Klaus: This one is also super hard. The graveyard scene definitely comes to mind, as does his expression immediately after lying through his teeth to Reg about trusting him in the car, but there was something about his fixation with his mother this season. A highly underrated moment is when Five is showing everyone the book Klaus' aunt kept with news clips of all the women who died mysteriously, explaining it's their mothers. They flip the page to Rachel and Klaus reaches for her like his hands are shielding her, looks them all in the eyes with heartbreak, and says, "This one's mine." His interactions with Luther in s1 were what opened up his natural empathy, but this revelation about their mothers has actually been steering him from Chaotic Neutral to Chaotic Good this entire season. "This is the main thing!" he tells them, absolutely broken that all these women died and no one did anything about it. "This is my real mother. Her name's Rachel, and I have her eyes!" From this moment on, his attitude towards everyone around him, including Reg unfortunately, changes. He starts really becoming what he has always had the potential to become: the emotional heart of the group. You see this so much in how he talks to Ben, Reg, Luther, two of whom are actively dangerous to him. While the others talk about the paradox, the technical aspects of what's happening, Klaus is reminding them of the human element of it all. The actual victims of this tragedy.

Five: BALL OF TWINE, KLAUS! BALL OF TWINE! Look, I know my other chosen moments tend to be deep as shit, but I feel like I learned more about Five as a person in this moment than I learned about him all of last season. Even on vacation, he has no chill.

Ben: Presenting himself as the New New Ben. Something is just so right about him realizing Klaus is his true long-lost twin and actually trying to be someone he likes. I do also love him calling out Viktor for waiting for someone to chase after him. It's mean as fuck, but let's be real, Viktor needs someone to shake him out of that victim mentality.

Viktor: Definitely his reaction to Luther asking him to be his best man. This moment was some of Elliot's very best acting in the series. You could see just how much it meant to him--not just as a trans man, being asked to be his brother's best man, but as the kid who was never allowed to be part of the family. I love Viktor and Luther as a duo so goddamn much.  And you can see that Luther isn’t just offering out of pity to affirm Viktor’s gender or make sure he feels like part of the family.  He actually looks worried Viktor will tell him no.  It’s all so genuine from them both, I love this moment so much.

Lila: The drum solo where she just lets absolutely everything out. Everything. In every single beat, you feel her pain over learning her mother was abusive, losing her mother, losing her birth parents, losing Diego, losing her job, and finding out she is pregnant.  Not a single word is spoken, but all of Lila’s anger, hurt, and internal conflict go into that moment.

Sloane: We barely know her, but I absolutely adore a Beware the Nice Ones. Finally, we get a soft femme lady who will fuck up ALL the shit if pressed. So, her taking out her grief over Luther's death on that one guardian with a scream of rage.

Bonus best lines:

"You guys had gravity sex!"

"On a motivational scale from one to, like, Braveheart, this was, like, half a Rudy."

"No twine, no birth mother!"

And probably a bunch of others that aren't coming to mind yet.

[sammy-is-not-smiley]

Replacement (Part 1/2)

Steve Harrington x fem!reader

S4 SPOILER FREE

Summary: After coming across Steve and Dustin on the railroad tracks, you ended up accidently going through hell with them fighting demodogs and helping the Byers at their house. Now, you were tasked with keeping the kids safe at the house with Steve. The only thing is you assumed you were keeping them safe from interdimensional monsters... not Billy Hargrove. 

Word count: 4.1k

Warnings/tags: Fist fight, anxiety, gross non-con kiss, creepy Billy, hurt but not much comfort yet

A/N: This one starts a little boring but gets interesting towards the end lol. If I missed any possible trigger warnings please feel free to let me know! I’m still learning how to properly put them. I want to be able to give proper warning for those who need it. Part 2 will be available immediately :)

Read Part 2

Pondering over the night once again, you stared in the mirror, face dripping with cold water. Just the day before, the thing you were most worried about was your upcoming math final. Now, that final was a fading blip in the back of your mind. The night had consisted of fighting dog-like beasts with Steve Harrington, hiking in the woods with a nerdy group of middle schoolers, and meeting a little girl with superpowers who saved your life right before your eyes. To say nothing felt right was an understatement. 

A majority of the group that had been at the Byers’s minutes before had just left to carry out a plan you barely could keep up with. They all seemed to know what they were talking about though, and that was enough for you. In the end, you and Steve were left to keep the kids at the house and keep them safe while everyone else went to their separate missions. Considering the exhaustion you felt from the events of the evening, you were more than happy to be a co-babysitter. 

With a heavy sigh, you wiped your face with a clean towel and exited the Byers’ bathroom. As you did, a crashing erupted from the kitchen.

“All right,” You heard Dustin say. “It should fit now.”

You cautiously turned the corner to see the dead Demodog from the living room wrapped in a quilt in Steve’s arms. Dustin stood in front of a completely empty fridge, metal racks and bottles of condiments littering the floor next to him in a messy pile.

“Is this really necessary?” Steve asked in labored breaths. He noticed you as you entered the kitchen and looked at you with pleading eyes.

You rolled your eyes and fought a smile at Steve’s inability to say no to Dustin. “Dust, what are you putting him through now?”

“I’m preserving science,” Dustin replied sternly. “This is a groundbreaking scientific discovery! We can’t just bury this like some common mammal, okay? It’s not a dog,” He said to both you and Steve.

You and the taller boy glanced at each other, thinking the same thing. You looked back at Dustin, “Dude…. Demo-dog.”

Dustin rolled his eyes. “I call it that because it sounds badass, not because it’s scientifically accurate! It looks like a dog but it probably isn’t part canine.”

Steve groaned loudly, patience fraying, and started approaching the empty fridge. “Whatever Dust, you’re explaining this to Mrs. Byers,” He stressed.

He attempted to stuff the creature into the fridge but very obviously struggled, making you smirk. Your eyes trailed over and you caught yourself having to pull your eyes away from his jawline and neck as it flexed.

Now? Really? You shook your head as you chastised yourself. This is where being exhausted gets you.

The fridge shook as the head of the Demodog smacked against it. “Agh, help me out,” Steve grunted at Dustin. 

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Get the door or something!” Steve’s head turned and he pleaded your name. “Help.”

You scoffed and put your hands up, shaking your head. “Not my circus, not my monkeys. I’m not touching that thing.”

Groaning in response, Steve continued his struggle until finally, the fridge door could be slammed shut. You could hear the clang of glass bottles inside and the two boys let out a huff as you turned and began walking into the living room to get a subtle head count of the other kids.

Lucas and Max swept up the shattered glass from the window Eleven had thrown the Demodog through. Mike paced back and forth nervously, not paying any mind to you or the other two.

“Mike!” Lucas snapped suddenly, making you jump as you walk in. “Would you just stop?”

“You weren’t in there, okay, Lucas? That lab is swarming with hundreds of those dogs,” Mike snapped back with just as much bite. It was obvious he was worried sick for El.

“The chief will take care of her,” Lucas weakly tried to reassure, an air of annoyance in his tone. You admitted to yourself you were a bit annoyed with Mike too. He’d been nothing but pissy the whole night.

Max quietly scoffed. “Like she needs protection…”

Your shoulders sagged at the children's lame attempts to try and put Mike at ease. He might be irritable, but those kinds of responses wouldn’t pull him down from it. You took a step towards Mike. “Max is kind of right. I mean, you saw what she did to that…. Demodog,” You hesitated, the word still foreign on your tongue. “She threw it through the window with her mind. I think she might be able to handle a few more dogs.”

“You weren’t there either!” Mike practically barked your name. “This isn’t just ten or fifteen of those dogs, it’s hundreds. What’s this to you anyway? Why are you here?”

You felt a flame of anger burst into your chest. This was the first you had talked to him that night and you weren’t going to stand him shoving that attitude onto you. You thought Hopper had put this kid in his place before they left, but apparently not. “I don’t know, maybe because I want to help while it feels like the world is suddenly falling apart? News flash, Michael, I am as scared to death as you are. Don’t put us below you because you think none of us understand,” You fumed at him a little louder than intended. You really couldn’t regulate your own emotions while exhausted.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve interjected between you and Mike, a dish towel in one hand as he lifted both hands up. “Time out you two.”

You both rolled your eyes, turning in opposite directions. Mike really wasn’t worth the little energy you had left.

“Listen, dude,” Steve directed toward Mike. “Tone it down a bit. If the coach calls a play in the game, bottom line, you execute it. All right?”

Mike turned to Steve, a newfound rage in his eyes. “Okay, first of all, this isn’t some stupid sports game, and second, we aren't even in the game. We’re on the bench.”

Steve nodded as he wiped his hands on the dish towel. “Right, so my point is… Yeah, we’re on the bench so uh… There’s nothing we can do.” He concluded and threw the dish towel back and over his shoulder.

“That’s not entirely true,” Dustin argued. “I mean, these Demodogs have a hive mind. When they ran away from the bus they were called away.”

Lucas leaned against a broomstick. “So if we get their attention…”

“Maybe we can draw them away from the lab,” Max said.

“And clear a path to the gate,” Mike finished.

Steve folded his arms over his torso. “Yeah, and then we all die.”

“Or not,” You piped up. If you didn’t know any better you would think these kids had a hive mind too. Their plan was thought up quickly but it sounded about right as far as you could tell. And with Mike’s mood making yours go sour, going out and doing something useful didn’t sound half bad. Otherwise, you might end up beating a child whos name starts with an ‘M’.

“Really?” Steve's shoulders sagged at you. “You’re the one supposed to be on my side here!”

You shrugged and gave an insincere apologetic expression. “Steve, as much as it annoys me to say this at the moment, Mike is right. This isn’t a sports game, there are no rules. And I’m pretty sure the opponent plays dirty anyway.”

Steve put his hand up to his face to shield it from the kids and mouthed a dramatic ‘ fucking stop it’. All you did was innocently smile in response. 

“I got it!” Mike exclaimed and ran past you into the kitchen. He squat down and pointed to a spot on a drawn vine put together by papers on the fridge. “This is where the chief dug his hole. This is our way into the tunnel. So…” He stood and ran to another area. A larger one where all the pages of drawn vines led to. “Right here, this is like a hub. You got all the tunnels feeding in here. So, maybe if we set this on fire--”

“Oh yeah, that’s a no,” Steve shot down immediately.

“The Mind Flayer would call away its army,” Dustin followed Mike’s thought process, ignoring Steve.

Lucas grinned widely. “They’d all come to stop us!”

“Guys--” Steve tried to interrupt. 

“Yeah, and then we circle back to the exit,” Mike continued. “By the time they realize we’re gone--”

“El would be at the gate!” Max followed as well.

“Wait, all this is a real map?... Are you sure we could make it out before they get there?” You asked, reminded that once again you were missing details of the situation.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Steve hollered as he clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. “This is not happening! I promised to keep you shitheads safe, and that’s exactly what I plan on doing. Especially you,” He jabbed a finger at you, making your eyes widen and your heart jolt. “‘Cause with all due respect, you aren’t supposed to be in this mess in the first place.” He looked back to the children. “We’re staying here, on the bench, and we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job. Does everybody understand?” Steve lectured as he put his hands on his hips. 

“This isn’t some stupid sports game!” Mike reiterated himself.

“I said does everybody understand that?... I need a yes,” Steve finished in expectancy.

A moment of silence fell on the room.

“We would have to be quick,” You broke it, looking down at the hub all the vines led to. A hint of guilt directed at Steve sat in your stomach at ignoring him… But the more you thought about it the more you were on the kid's side. It wasn’t your fault Steve felt responsible for your wellbeing. Plus, you were pretty sure the kids would follow through on their plan whether you and Steve supported it anyway. 

Steve yelled out your name. “What the hell?” He snapped. “We’re not doing this!” He gestured his hands out.

You sympathetically look back to meet his brown eyes, which once again were pleading with you to help him out here. 

You ran a hand through your hair in exasperation. Walking up to him you sternly held eye contact with him. “The other team doesn’t play fair, so why should we?” You repeated yourself in nearly a whisper. “I think all hands on deck might be necessary for this one.”

Just as it looked like he was wavering and about to break, the roar of a car engine revved from the driveway. Headlights blared through the front living room window. 

Max’s eyes went round in recognition and she ran to the window, looking out to confirm who had arrived.

“It’s my brother. He can’t know I’m here,” She looked at Lucas at her side, who had followed her suit. “He’ll kill me… he’ll kill us,” She said shakily. 

“This is the WORST TIMING.” You mumbled, looking back at Steve for his reaction. He had turned toward the door, his face suddenly plastered with a newfound determination. 

You knew Billy, or at least as well as you could being in the same grade as him. He was also someone who played dirty, you saw that clearly from watching him on the basketball court.

Steve suddenly slapped his dish towel to the ground and strode over to the door. He walked out and closed it behind him as you watched with wide eyes. 

“What’s he doing!?” Max hissed, looking back toward you.

You put a hand to your face and drug it down your cheek as nerves made your stomach knot. “Keeping us shitheads safe?...”

The kids took up all the space around the window, leaving you to stand to the side and rely on them for info. “What’s happening?” You asked in a hushed tone. You sat and watched the beams of light, hoping to see them turn away and disappear. However, they remained.

“They’re just talking,” Lucas replied, staring intently out the window.

“I don’t think it’ll stay that way for long,” Max speculated, shaking her head slightly.

You shook your head. “I don’t think so either.”

Suddenly the three younger kids ducked down below the window and onto the couch.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Dustin swore. 

“What!?”

“He saw us in the window! I didn’t think he would be able to see us, ah shit!” 

“He knows I’m here,” Max professed, eyes wild and panicked.

“Oh my god, okay, off the couch!” You commanded, practically yanking them by the arms and pulling them back toward the hallway. “Do you think he’ll try to get inside?” You tried to ask Max, but before you could get an answer the door swung open and slammed back against the wall.

You whirled around to the doorway to see a shadow standing in the frame that definitely wasn’t Steve. 

“Quite the party in here, huh?” Billy boasted and slammed the door behind him. On instinct, you put your arms out protectively in front of the kids. However, Billy looked right past you as if you weren’t even there. 

Where the hell did Steve go?

“Lucas Sinclair, what a surprise,” Billy said, attempting to advance toward the boy.

You stepped forward and came between the two. “Billy, get out of here,” You warned in as stern and protective a voice you could muster. You were surprised, though, at how bold you managed to sound.

Billy scoffed dramatically. “You know (y/n), I’ve never known you to be the excitable type,” He said smugly, finally acknowledging your existence in the room.

“You don’t know me,” You seethed back at him, trying to maintain the painful eye contact. “Just leave. Leave us all alone.”

He rolled his eyes and took a puff of his cigarette, tossing it to the floor. He shifted his gaze to Max. “I thought I told you to stay away from that loser, Max,” He grumbled, glaring at Lucas.”And the rest of them while you’re at it.” He glared at you like you were chopped liver. Your eye contact faltered slightly under his gaze.

Max drilled a fiery stare at her stepbrother. “Billy, go away.”

“You disobeyed me,” He continued. “And you know what happens when you disobey me.”

Your hands tightened into fists at his tone.

WHERE IS STEVE?

“I break things.” Billy barely finished the sentence when he shoved you out of the way and lunged at Lucas.

The motion taking you by surprise, you stumbled over your own feet and smacked your head on the ground, landing hard on the floor. The house around you visually shifted and you tried to regain your senses as Billy picked Lucas up by his jacket over you. He swiftly carried him into the kitchen and slammed Lucas’s smaller body into a shelf with a crash. In a panic, you attempted to grope around you for something. You guessed you were looking for some sort of weapon.

If Steve wasn’t here, then it was up to you to protect these kids, even if it wasn’t from monsters from another dimension. Billy was enough of a beast as it was.

“Since Maxine won’t listen to me, maybe you will,” Billy growled at Lucas. “You stay away from her. Stay away from her! You hear me?”

Suddenly a new figure burst through the front door. Steve’s eyes fell to see you on the floor, disoriented, as Billy’s yells echoed from the kitchen. He stared at you, then at the frightened children trying to help you up, and his eyes blazed with anger.

“Get off me!” Lucas yelled and kicked Billy, causing him to groan and release his grip on the boy.

“You’re so dead Sinclair! You’re dead!”

Steve turned the corner into the kitchen with purpose and spun Billy around by the shoulder. “No, you are.” His fist collided with Billy’s face.

“No, no, no, no,” You muttered under your breath as you finally stood, Dustin and Max’s grip still on your arms. After the first punch, you knew exactly where this was headed. It couldn’t end well, not with Billy.

A lump formed in your throat when instead of groaning or responding in anger, Billy began maniacally giggling like a clown. “Looks like you got some fire in you after all, huh?” He digressed at Steve. “I’ve been waiting to meet this ‘King Steve’ everybody’s been telling me so much about.”

“Get out,” Steve replied sternly.

Billy stared at him a moment, meanwhile, you hoped whatever fire that had been lit beneath the two had diffused. You shook off the children’s grasp and just when you thought it was over, the fire raged again and Billy took a swing at Steve. He ducked, causing Billy to strike the air, giving Steve the opportunity to punch once more. Again and again, Steve pivoted successful blows as the kids began to yell and cheered him on.

All you could do was stand silent with a pounding heart and frozen body, not exactly sure what to do. You’ve never intervened in a fight before, let alone been in one. You fought dog monsters just hours earlier, why couldn’t you get your feet to move and help Steve now?

Just protect the kids. 

You corralled Lucas back over to you, putting him behind you once again. Looking back at the fight, you began to feel hope rise in your chest when Steve looked to be handling the still laughing lunatic pretty well.

Until he wasn’t.

Billy took hold of a plate and bashed it against Steve’s head, shattering the plate to pieces. He then took Steve’s moment of weakness and progressed toward him, throwing punches equal to what he had received from the other teen. 

You pushed the kids back as the two moved their conflict past you and into the living room. Billy clutched Steve’s jacket and the two locked eyes.

“No one tells me what to do,” He grossly sneered, then pushed Steve across the room with terrifying strength.

Billy then got down and pounded Steve’s face relentlessly into the floor with his fists, to the point where Steve’s face was an unrecognizable bloody mess. With each hit you found yourself flinching.

You stared at Billy in horror as tears began to sting your eyes. Then your eyes met Steve, who no longer looked conscious. Something snapped inside of you at that moment and a flood of pure rage ran through your being, exploding from your chest. Your hands were squeezing into fists again, your nails digging into your palms, and you strode over to Billy. Roughly, you gripped a clump of his hair and yanked him back from Steve’s limp body. 

Billy landed on his back at your feet and stared up at you. The children’s yelling suddenly ceased. Your eyes widened at the realization of what you had done and you took a step back. Bringing your hand up from your side, you clearly saw a wad of Billy’s crusty, curly mullet woven in your fingers.

A smirk began growing on his face as Billy observed the fear washing over yours. He laughed wildly again. “Very unexpected,” He said with a grunt as he slowly stood up. “So, what, are you, Harrington’s pet now?”

You let the hair in your hand fall to the floor. “... Huh?”

Billy began walking toward you in deliberate menacing steps. “You know, a little bird told me you’re just a lonely pervert. A little perv who likes to watch us guys on the court.” He took another step closer.

While you couldn’t properly voice it in the moment, you didn’t go to basketball practice at school to site see. You always went to meet with your math tutor. But of course, Billy would twist it like that…

You could feel the tingling behind your nose of tears beginning to well. Desperately, you fought the feeling. “That’s…” Your mind went blank as you backed away from the taller boy. You fumbled around in your mind for a good comeback or even just a name to call Billy, but nothing came of it. Humiliation quickly took a firm hold on you.

He laughed again, a disgusting, prideful laugh. “Oh, come on, it’s all true isn’t it?” He bellowed. “And I bet the only reason Stevie’s with you is because no one else will give you the time of day. Am I right?” He smiled wickedly. “He’s gone mushy.”

“We’re not together,” You barely said audibly. Of all things, your tired brain chose that to say. The rage that had flooded your system only a minute before was long gone and you struggled to find it again. 

You continued to step back away from him only hit a wall, halting you in your tracks. Billy took a step closer and slammed both hands up on the wall on either side of your head, trapping you. You aren’t much shorter than him, but at that moment he seemed to tower feet over you. Although you suddenly refused to make eye contact while he was that close, you could still smell cigarettes in each hot breath he exhaled. Hot and sweaty breaths that made you want to gag.

“What was that, babydoll?” He asked in a low brusque tone that masked his thunder. It made goosebumps erupt over your skin… And not in a good way.

You inhaled shakily and grimaced, trying not to choke on the foul stench of his breath. “Don’t call me that. I said… we’re not together. You need to leave.” Your chest felt tight and you squeezed your hands into fists again, not out of anger but in fear.

“Oh, really? You two aren’t an item? Well, I guess it’s okay if I do this, then.” 

Your eyes widened as you felt his lips forcefully press onto yours. Immediately, you put your hands on his chest, trying to push away only to be met with the wall on your back. He brought his hands up and held your head with a painful grip on the sides, fingers pulling your hair at the roots. His grip was too strong and, in panic, you began hitting his chest with your closed fists.

The smell and taste of smoke was overwhelming as Billy forced his slimy tongue past your lips and into your mouth. Salty sweat and a hint of metallic blood made its way off his upper lip and into the kiss, causing you to finally gag. You started to dig your nails into his bare arms, desperately trying to make him pull away as you weren’t able to. 

Abruptly, he pulled away and put his hand to his neck as something stuck out of it. You didn’t even try to see what happened, instead, you crumbled to the floor in defeat. Earnestly you wiped at your mouth with your hoodie sleeve, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to will away what had just happened. Your body jerked and convulsed in tremors and you could feel the hot tears finally flowing down your face.

Suddenly, a rough thud rattled the floor in front of you, causing you to jolt and look up. Your watery eyes were met with Billy laying there, barely conscious, yet still horrifically chuckling to himself.

“From here on out, you leave me and my friends alone. Do you understand?” Max warned Billy as she held Steve’s spiked bat over him threateningly.

“Screw you,” He mumbled.

Max swung the bat down onto the wood floor between his legs, making your body jolt. “Say you understand! Say it… Say it!” She screamed.

“I understand.”

“What?” Max pressed.

“I understand,” Billy grunted, then quietly went limp and passed out.

Max let out a breath as she dropped the bat to her side, once again making you jump. She turned and looked at you, still sitting on the floor with shiny streaks of tears streaming steadily down your face. Your head was turned toward Billy, but you wouldn’t look at him.

“Oh god,” Max lamented your name. “I’m so sorry, so so sorry,” She knelt down next to you, wrapping her arms around your broken body.

You simply let your head fall back into her arms, closing your eyes. Shame flooded your chest as you realized the kids had been there and saw the whole thing. Your tears quickly soaked the girl’s green jacket, but you paid no mind. You heard footsteps next to you, then the soft embrace of more arms. As you sat in the fetal position on the floor, the children embraced you in a shield of themselves. Their body warmth radiated safety, a concept you were struggling to hold onto in the moment.

“I- It’s not you- your fault,” You finally managed to hiccup. 

[aprillikesthings]

I lead part of EfM thing today (see earlier posts) and it went well ahhhhh thank God

and I've made my lunches for the next week!

and I'm munching on a salad

and all day I was looking forward to this, the moment I can (re)watch MORE SHE-RA

I've barely worked on my longer fic this weekend (other than copy/pasting a bunch of things Nate said after the show ended into the notes section of the doc) and tbh rewatching the ACTUAL SHOW is hella distracting bc with twenty eps left we're going to start getting into more of the really high-stakes stuff

Also, true story: I originally watched, like, the second half of season 4 and all of season 5 in two days of marathoning with Daci. So quite frankly? The last, like, third of the show is just kind of a blur to me now.

SO LET'S GO

s4 ep7 Mer-Mysteries

A mission in Dryl went badly, they've figured out someone's telling the Horde what they're doing, they're not tracking Adora because she wasn't even there--

YES

plz enjoy Sea Hawk's faces

Bow's sudden nervousness reminds me of when I was in line at the TSA in Dulles airport and was weirdly nervous. I had no reason to be nervous. AND YET. I'm usually totally fine at TSA? But the people at Dulles were scary!!!

(I was way less nervous coming back from Iceland, despite knowing I had Kinder Surprise Eggs in my suitcase. Which are actually illegal to bring into the USA. You can buy "Kinder Joy Eggs" in the USA, which do not have the toy, but the ones with the toys are against the law! Anyway I bought them for Daci. I was only nervous for a split second at customs in the USA bc they asked me what I'd brought home from Iceland and I was like...wool yarn. books. sweets (I'd also bought licorice and chocolate). But he just waved me through. WHEW.)

she's still big mad about this lolol

BUT she's right a spy IS the only thing that makes sense (but also the audience knows shit they don't)

Pearl?? A Pearl who knows too much?????

c'mon I had to

lolol they lampshaded the way lightning keeps striking when Mermista says something

to be fair she IS the most recent addition and the one they know the least

oh hey I also write everything in purple (or lavender) ink

lol

oh, shut up

well not this episode, specifically

LOLLLLL

honestly this is a lot like the DnD episode

so on the one hand, I know Flutterina is doing this to make them fight, but on the other hand Glimmer is right; on the other OTHER hand, I also would prefer a warning before being forced to see my abusive parent having free range of the castle I live in

BAHAHAHA I read Nate saying these two were interrupted on a date night, but also plz notice the colors of the flowers, it's literally most of the lesbian pride flag, they were SO unsubtle

The Ken from Plumeria is talking to the pastry chef from Dryl with the super cute outfit, and she looks bashful for a second after this screenshot; I am now shipping this and no one can stop me

speaking of ships (yes I know this isn't meant to be shippy lol)

a youtube video titled "it's raining on your window and you live in Bright Moon Castle ASMR for sleep 4 hours"

(....I'd listen to that)

(On a related note, mynoise dot net has a bunch of rain sounds on the website, and it also has an app--it's seriously the BEST website/app for ambient sounds because they're so adjustable and never repeat, and I just want everyone to know about them. The rain and ocean sounds are great on earbuds to cover up snoring so you can sleep!!! Worked better than my fancy earplugs while I was on the Camino and sleeping in all those hostels)

And back to the cartoon, where there's obviously suspicious shit happening because people seem to be in two places at once and their communications thing got shattered

oh so her name IS just The General

Flutterina (aka Double Trouble) has got to be like "oh my god wtf is up with this dude I cannot handle this bullshit"

Once again Glimmer proves that her and Catra are actually very, very alike

BUSTED

OOHHHHH they set up a trap I forgot, this is amazing

Adora: "we created a diversion :)" Glimmer: "You were a really good actress. For once."

pfft

Anyway Double Trouble is confessing the whole plan

:(

poor Mermista :(

there's a creepy-ass moment of seeing part of Horde Prime's face as he smiles, roll credits

[tuiyla]

Thoughts on Faith in BtVS S4/AtS S1, Tara and Anya?

Oh good timing! I was just thinking about how I'm yet to note how much I enjoy Anya's character. So let's start with her. I don't have a ton to say apart form really enjoying her bluntness and the refreshing presence she brings to scenes. It felt a little strange when they started humanizing her and making her part of the group but she's charming, and though I don't think the Xander relationships bodes well for her I want good things for Anya. I vaguely remembered references to her as one of the Scoobies but then she appeared and I was like, surely this isn't the same character? It's an interesting route but I can see why they kept her on. Anya really is a delightful presence and I'm glad she's a series main now and in the opening credits.

Then, Tara. I don't think enough has happened with her so far for me to really have much to say. I like her and look forward to whatever reveal is coming about her backstory, based on the deliberate sabotage of a spell earlier on and whatnot. She might be a tiiiiny bit too bland so far but Oz wasn't the most exciting ch either. I can take or leave shy characters, now that Willow is more assertive than her high school self the balance works out. I do wish she had, just, more, but hopefully we'll get to see more of her before, well, you know. Because it would feel especially cheap if they just buried her without properly flashing her out first. I know she's a fan favourite and I understand, I just hope she gets more in the series, possibly outside of Willow. Her scene with Dawn in s5ep2 was sweet, maybe more of that.

And Faith, oh Faith. The bodyswap episode was great but I have a bit of the same problem with Faith's heel-face turn as I did with her face-heel turn. As in, the spiral there felt a little too fast and too intense with no going back, and here she descends into darkness once again when appearing on Angel before coming right back up. And look, her scene with Angel is great, the breakdown is effective, the following ep good at showing how it's gonna be a process. I do think her, sigh, sexual assault of both Riley and Buffy, coupled with her previous aggression towards Xander is very unfortunate, to say the least. I still like her and want to see her fight on the side of the good guys but it was impossible to support women's wrongs there. Still, she was hot as always and had some great scenes in Buffy s4, and finally peaked and turned back in Angel s1. I guess my main gripe is now she barely has any eps left, as IMDb might have told me, and this is just when we'd need her on Angel. The scene with her and Angel at the end of s2ep1 was very, VERY sweet and it's cruel that they're giving me that only for, what? For Faith not to return until season 4, is it? Or Buffy s7? That's just cruel.

Sigh, okay, I have more thoughts and feelings on Faith than what could be expressed here but I'll try in subsequent posts. Everyone knows I went into Buffy wanting to be obsessed with Faith and I am, I'm just also a little frustrated with how her ch was handled at times. And now that we're at the real juicy bits where she could become who she was meant to be, she'll barely have a few episodes to do so. We need a full season of Angel where Faith is an on and off presence, being sponsored by Angel and all. Goddamn. I guess I'll just have to read the comics.

[elder-dragon]

Lucilaeh finds herself changed, physically and otherwise, by her battles in Elona.

2.3k words. On AO3.

So...I figure I should post my fics here too. I wrote and first posted this back in May, as the first real exploration of my Commander's character to try and get a feel for her. It's very 'follows canon' for the most part and a lot of self-indulgent introspection. It's also my first attempt at gw2 fic, so admittedly canon characters might be a little off?

I mention this in the AO3 notes but this entire fic came about because I wanted a change in look for Luci after finishing Path of Fire, chose the thorn hair, and ended up wanting a lore reason which just led to "well...fire was very involved at the end there, so..."

Fic takes place through the end of PoF and first half of S4 and references personal story.

***

Balthazar flings his fire, battle, war at her, and Lucilaeh faces it, all of it, with nothing but a sword that had once been his. There's no time to breathe. She just has to stay on her feet and fight back. There's no time to think about every flame that licks at her, every impact that catches her.

She's not alone, not like Balthazar claims. Not when Sohothin weighs as heavy as Caladbolg; not when Vlast's memories sit in her pocket; not when Aurene is right there and she, too, is fighting.

They kill a god together, and Kralkatorrik roars.

And it burns. Everything burns.

Lucilaeh stays where she lands for a moment. Triumph soars through her, but she aches all over, aches so keenly. She wonders if the hurt is hers or Aurene's.

For Aurene, she gets back up, staggering to her feet and desperately clawing through magic-thick air for command of her senses. For Aurene, she finds her voice and calls out, but perhaps she's too slow to do so that Aurene flies off. Vaguely, she's aware of Kralkatorrik following, but she's slipping away by then, and the rest of Dragon's Watch (and Canach) find her sprawled out, unconscious.

***

Kasmeer tells her when she wakes that Rytlock carried her all the way back to Amnoon, where she has been given a far too lavish room to recover in. Canach fills in the details of how gentlemanly the Charr had been while masterfully avoiding Rytlock's growling glares. Lucilaeh laughs and thanks him, before briefing them on the new situation.

"I'll be fine," she promises eventually, "in time for tonight's party at the very least."

She does feel fine. Even with Kralkatorrik's threat, she feels a greater weight lifted than when they had silenced Mordremoth's voice.

"So," starts Kasmeer, making small talk as their somber discussion on the dragons settles toward silence, "are you planning to regrow your branches?"

"What?"

The weight she felt lifted from her shoulders turns out a little more literal than she'd thought.

"I-I thought you knew," stammers Kasmeer as Lucilaeh examines the damage in a mirror the human had been quick to fetch. "Canach said you could regrow it, so I wondered..."

"How long has it been like this?" she asks, not taking her eyes off the jagged and blackened burnt ends now crowning her speckled face. She turns her face this way, then that, remembering precisely the long branches and the flowers that had grown with them.

"It started when you died." Canach, blunt as ever, though there is perhaps wavering in his voice. "The flowers were gone when we found you. After all, you were quite...singed. Largely scorched, if I'm being honest. Balthazar must've set fire to the rest today."

"Riveting imagery," she remarks, earning a quirk of his brow.

"Does it hurt? At all?" Kasmeer's gaze is politely inquisitive, and Lucilaeh knows she can't fault her for the curiosity. Many of the finer details of Sylvari physiology are still largely mysteries, after all—both to everyone and to themselves.

"It doesn't hurt," she replies truthfully. Physically, she doesn't add. She's had many injuries over the years, from battle or otherwise, and this doesn't feel anything like those at all. She has plenty of them too this time, thus the bandages snaking around near every part of her, but her heart—it does sting, she must admit. She's never considered herself vain, but she's always been pleased with the appearance she's worn since waking from the Dream.

"So it really is just like cutting your hair," muses Rytlock.

"Or shaving a Charr," adds Canach.

"Has anyone contacted Taimi?" she cuts in quick before Canach can continue or Rytlock can react.

"Phlunt picked up when I tried," answers Kasmeer.

Lucilaeh breathes in deep. "Okay, one thing at a time then."

***

She attends the party without a hat or any sort of head covering, though she hasn't been partial to wearing one in a long time now anyway. Most of the citizens of Amnoon had seen her in Rytlock's arms, had seen the damage to her body. The amount of blackened bark on her seems to add to the growing whispers following her, but that's not quite anything new. People have watched her since the days of her first Wyld Hunt and they've taken plenty of her scars and woven them into stories and raised them into legends.

She doesn't like to dwell on this. The thought has always frustrated her, and it's all the worse now that she knows her victories were world-ending mistakes.

But the party delights her, despite her best efforts to stay somber. She dances among the crowd and samples the various foods around the hall. When she mistakenly bites into a decorative flower, she supposes she can't stall any longer, hurrying away from the table so she can step up to the waiting podium.

She gazes out at the crowd, at their hopeful faces, at her friends who are giving her encouraging gestures as discreetly as they can manage. She breathes in.

"People of Amnoon..."

***

The next war arrives in a vision, then nearly losing Taimi, then a ship consumed by plague, then a direct invitation—it's not till several weeks after her victory over Balthazar that Lucilaeh gets a moment to breathe again, during the smallest of time she can afford once the camp in Kourna is ready. There's a starving village up north to visit, and no small part of her wants to rush to their aid, but she's been wanting to check on a certain group of her allies this whole time.

"Commander," calls out Taimi as she approaches the rooftop where the trio of Asura have set up their equipment. They've been joined by a giant beetle since the last time she's seen them. "Hey, I didn't have a chance to say this when we met up in Amnoon, but—looking good"

"Huh?"

Taimi gestures at her own hair, grinning. Lucilaeh blinks; she hasn't consciously been growing that part of her, so she has zero conception of what she even looks like at the moment.

"Thank you, Taimi," she says instead, filing away 'find a mirror' into her growing list of priorities. She looks around and she wants to ask Taimi some more about how she's doing, but her gaze naturally falls onto the beetle. "Now, Canach said Gorrik had something to show me..."

***

She does get an opportunity many hours later, when she takes a wrong turn on her way back to base from the village and finds herself in front of a secluded lake, to examine her new appearance. The still, clear water within the enclosed canyon does as well as any mirror as it provides water for Glory, her trusty raptor.

She had carefully trimmed away the blackened ends of her hair a while ago, but the branches have not grown back. Instead, thorny vines sprout from her, dangling down mere inches from her shoulders. They remind her of the endlessly crisscrossing jungle far to the west; of tendrils lashing at her feet and overhead; of the voice that had once weighed heavy and pushed upon her mind. She reaches up and twirls one of the loose vines, feeling the thorns prick her blue bark.

"I belong to no dragon," she says aloud, and immediately she thinks of Aurene, whom she's sure would agree. From where it lays in the shade nearby, Glory trills in response. She laughs. "You think so too, hm?"

She doesn't dislike the change, though. It's different, and it reminds her of a dark year, but perhaps it just suits the sort of Sylvari she's become. Her reflection offers her a wry smile. Losing her naive flowers in favor of these guarded vines—what would Tybalt and Demmi have thought of them, of her?

Perhaps it is the calm of the water that makes her so much more wistful than usual, but then...when was the last time she sat down like this to gather her thoughts so quietly?

Tybalt would have liked the change, she decides, and Demmi might be a little more disappointed to see her flowers gone, but still supportive. They never had that apple cider, but Lucilaeh had spent long hours both in and out of Whispers fieldwork just chatting with her late Charr mentor, then with Demmi in the mix once she'd joined the Order. She had learned a lot about their worlds, their cultures—and those chats had contributed greatly to her early dealings with both Charr and humans—and in turn she had answered whatever curiosity they had for Sylvari.

"Who could have ever thought," she tells her reflection and the imaginary Tybalt and Demmi that flank it, "that we came from a dragon?"

Neither can reply, of course. She sits up and breathes in the cool, clear air over the spring, lets it fill her.

"But that dragon is dead," she continues. "Just like Zhaitan and Balthazar. And their magic has spread to the others. And my brothers and sisters are at long last free."

...free to die with the rest of Tyria if she makes another mistake.

"But I didn't know, and even then—what else can I do? What else could I have done, but act?" She stares at her reflection, and it glares back at her, its brow knit together, pale eyes burning with such a rage that dares her to look away. "How could I have just let the suffering they brought continue, even if it meant dooming us all instead? Maybe none of it was the best thing I could've done. Maybe none of it was enough."

Caladbolg, at her side, thrums.

"And I never wanted anyone to call me a hero." She places a hand on its hilt, feels the thorn's familiar bark beneath her fingertips. She had wielded it before too, in her first year of life, a long time ago now, after she'd taken it back from an unruly human. "But the world keeps tumbling, and someone has to do what they can to catch it."

Lucilaeh rises to her feet. Her reflection's rage gives way to something she can't name. Passion, perhaps, as Kasmeer might call it. Or resolve of the heroic variety, Canach would say. Something like that.

"C'mon Glory," she calls to her raptor, "Let's get back to work."

***

Several battles and a reunion with Braham later, Palawa Joko laughs in her face and calls her a villain and Lucilaeh can't quite answer on account of being bound by his magic.

But she certainly knows what she'd tell him.

***

That war ends, as they always do.

This time it takes a dragon eating a lich, which promptly throws Elona into some chaos.

Kralkatorrik's threat still looms, but there'll be meetings and conferences and humans trying to come together in the next few weeks. Perhaps it's selfish of her to disappear for a little bit, but she takes the first airship back to Lion's Arch after asking Rytlock to hold the fort. She'll be back soon, but there's somewhere she hasn't gone in a while, so a trip and an Asura gate later, and she's stepping back into the familiar air of the Grove just as the first colors of dawn crest the forest's treetops.

Lucilaeh wanders, and finds not much of the Grove has changed. At this hour, there are only handfuls of Sylvari out and about: nightbloom Wardens patrolling, fresh sprouts exploring, or those who simply prefer the night. Her steps take her to Trahearne's memorial, and as always, the more she nears it, the heavier Caladbolg feels at her waist.

She pauses a short distance away, gazes up at the likeness. Almost five years on, and she still finds it difficult to think of him without remembering the way dragon magic had consumed him from within. How would he have handled the wars that came after Mordremoth, she wonders? The humans and their gods, in particular—could Trahearne have changed something there? And, selfishly, what would he have thought of the vines on her head?

But perhaps she just misses him, as much as she misses the many she has lost that are dear to her heart. Would that they could have seen the Tyria she is fighting for now...

Lucilaeh shakes her head, turns away, and makes for the grand garden she has long called home. There, she greets M.O.X., then wanders the winding paths. It's strange to move without purpose for once, without some grand goal spurring her onward endlessly.

Not much has changed within Dreamer's Terrace, but many of the flowers have been growing and she knows that, should she ask, they would whisper to her the many things she has missed. But they are not quite awake yet, down here where the sun does not reach too well past the long branches of the Pale Tree—and she makes a mental note to visit—the flowers sleepily rise from their nighttime slumber.

Walking on this familiar soil, so near to the mother, Lucilaeh finds a strange calm washing over her. There are no burdens of the world on her here: no dragons and gods and liches to battle; no ministers and councillors and politics to navigate.

It is just her and the flowers and, as she rounds a corner and comes face to face with its majestic stature rising from a bed of forest leaves, the White Stag.

The Stag looks to her and, when she starts to approach, bows to her. Its antlers have only grown in her time away, and she wonders if any of the magic released by the dragons have reached it here. She wonders, as it rises again to its full height, if Aurene would be friends with it should she ever have the chance to introduce them. Lucilaeh steps close, and it leans its head toward her, touching her cheek with its muzzle. She reaches up to pet it and feels a kind warmth emanate from where she touches it, one that spreads from her fingers and her cheek to the rest of her. You're home, it tells her.

She smiles, rests her cheek against it, closes her eyes as she enjoys its quiet companionship.

"Good morning, old friend," she tells it, "I've had a very long night."

[truessences]

hii! Im a byler shipper and i’m not trying to pick a fight or anything i’m genuinely just curious of some reasons of what you ship milven

Hello, thanks for your ask and I appreciate you not trying to pick a fight, but do you really want to know?

I ship them because I like them together, the show has made an effort to show that they love each other and that's not changing any time soon.

I also answered a question not to long ago similar, so I'm going to copy and paste it lol

------

At first, I just thought they were really cute and it was clear to me how much they care for each other. But after watching S4 and then rewatching the show (literally twice because once for myself and then I started over because my friend started watching), I was catching more things.

I like the quiet moments of how in S1, they watch each other. Mike may not have been in love right out the gate, but he was for sure smitten but the big thing is he also is a caring person so he didn't treat El any different than if it was another kid who needed help. Him saying she looked pretty, but remembering that Lucas and Dustin where there and correcting himself to "pretty good" even though we all knew what he meant. Then of course, how happy he was to see her when she saved him when he jumped, and how he reassures her... even in S1 that she wasn't the monster. That conversation in S4 didn't come out of nowhere.

I love how in S2, that this boy was calling her every day, never giving up hope that she was out there even if logic might have been saying "nope, you're crazy". Plus, that reunion, *chef's kiss*.

In S3, everyone does a bit of growing up in different ways and I love that even though they're not together for most of the season, that boy has her back no matter what and she can depend on him. He was literally the first one each time to rush into danger to save her. His slip up of confessing his love, that was a good scene and then of course in the grocery store. Love it.

In S4, we see a much more mature Mileven and they're only 14. He believes he's been telling her how much he loves her in his way which is his love language but she needs to hear it and that's her love language and they have to learn that and Mike does. I love how he still tries to reassure her even though no one reassure him.

I love that they just utterly trust each other. I think that's really cute for some teenagers. I liked them in the past but I definitely have grown to love them and I think a lot of it stems from wanting to protect Mike from the hate he receives, but I really do love them together. Not to mention, the way he senses her... ugh.

Mike is a part of El and El is a part of Mike. This will never change.

Love them.

Hope that answers your question!

[quinnick]

for the scenes we want to see- everyone getting vecna’d at once. i’ve been saying this since vol1, and i have the WHOLE thing planned out.

i’m sorry in advance, because this is long as HELL- and tbh, it’s more of a half-planned fic than something i’m actually demanding LMAO- but i do really hope for a lot of the things included in this, even though it obviously won’t pan out quite like this lol

LETS BEGIN

the main kids (sin max :( )find vecna in the upside down. they’re in a V shape, with el at the head of it. the camera is behind el, and we can see each party member, and it slowly pans up, tilting backwards, to reveal vecna at the top of a large hill (nice recall to s4, ofc). vecna gives a speech (yeah, i love his monologues, what about it) and el raises her hand out, ready to fight.

the camera is entirely focused on her, blood beginning to drip out of her noise. the scene changes- vecna steps forward, head tilted. he smiles. the scene changes again, the camera now points at the ground, and is slowly panning up. el is now standing alone, hand dropped to her side, head raised in horror as she begins to turn.

the entire party is in the air, eyes white and bodies limp.

vecna is now powerful enough to put four people in a trance all at once- and he’s still awake, aware, and capable. but these trances seem… different.

lingering shot on the party, until the camera pans back down to el and zooms forward into her.

BLACK SCREEN TRANSITION

we’re in the mindscape. it’s empty, except for a single couch. the byers couch.

lonnie is sitting on it, clearly angry. we see a young will creep in. he says something quietly to lonnie, who then starts to tell. the camera spins around, and we see will, staring on in horror. lonnie’s voice starts to morph, and he slowly transforms into a demogorgon, prowling towards a terrified young will. right as the demogorgon screams in his face, the scene on the couch shifts. current will dissipates into the air, and now, we see max, lying broken on the ground.

the camera pans to lucas. he runs towards her, but she keeps moving infinitely away, all while she cries out for help. he’s powerless. her voice morphs again- lucas, why didn’t you save me? it’s your fault! i blame you!

lucas falls to his knees- and he, too, disappears.

we see dustin walk forward, taking his place. he watches in morbid curiosity as a small shimmer appears, which begins to morph into a tadpole, which then starts to grow.

dart.

dart continues to grow, at a horrific rate (think the legs in stanley’s head in it chapter two type growth) the camera pans around to behind dustin, where we see a man scream. bob. dustin whips around, and dart runs around him, pouncing on bob’s chest and ripping out his throat.

more and more people appear, and all of them, dart brutally kills. a voice echoes throughout the mindscape: it was all because of you. we find out dustin blames himself for all of season two.

dustin disappears. camera turns- we see mike. he has his arms around his chest- he’s already scared. he knows what’s happening. he knows what he’s going to see. camera turns again.

we see bullies kicking a younger version of him, while a young will stands to the side, yelling for them to stop, all while being held back by the arms of two other bullies.

the one’s kicking mike are yelling awful things. slurs, insults, the whole homophobic shebang. again, a voice- they were right, weren’t they, micheal?

the entire scene disappears, and the water fades into blackness. suddenly, the camera zooms back out, and we see el, who’s face hardens in determination. she screams, and the fight begins.

back to the mindscape, her scream echoing throughout the void. the four scenes the party is experiencing are playing at the same time somewhere, but they can’t see each other. they’re trapped.

somehow (i havent figured this part out quite yet), will manages to rip through the factions of the mindscape, and the party is together as they face their traumas together. we see them all, backs together, as the camera does a circle around them.

again, i haven’t figured this part out yet either, but will manages to free them from the mindscape. it’s now his turn to save his friends.

the party falls to the ground behind el, who is clearly exhausted. her and vecna are still going at it.

the party does everything they can to help fight, but it seems useless- until will takes el’s free hand. he whispers something to her, and she nods, brow still furrowed in concentration as she is still fighting.

something happens, and she starts to overload vecna with power. will has something to do with it as well. (ITS COMPLICATED, OKAY, IM NOT SURE YET).

slowly, with will’s help, the upside down starts to melt- think coraline, when the other mother’s world starts to fall apart? the sky is dripping, like watercolor, and pieces of the UD are being ripped apart, revealing sketches of the rough shapes underneath.

we’re given a short flashback to mr. clarke’s drawing of the flea in the tightrope from season one.

the upside down is turning 2d.

will now focuses his attention to the ground beneath them. screwing up his face in concentration, he kneels to the ground, and slowly, the floor melts away to reveal the same material that meshed between the UD and the real world in season one- the material separating him from joyce.

he’s creating a gate.

the upside down is folding in on itself, and even vecna is faltering. he starts to melt.

the gate is now big enough for them all to come through- but how do they break through?

hopper appears beneath the… glass, we’ll call it. similar to the gate in eddie’s trailer, it’s on the floor for the UD and the right side up.

he calls everyone else- everyone. joyce, murray, the older kids, erica, and yes, karen, start to hack at the glass.

el gives one final scream, and somehow, she transfers ALL her power to vecna. he’s knocked down, and he doesn’t get up.

she no longer has her powers, and she collapses, but gets caught by dustin and lucas.

almost the entire upside down is now paper sketches, that are slowly being erased and turned to black. it’s quickly advancing towards the gate, and dustin screws his eyes shut, ready to disappear- until them glass between them breaks.

they all fall through, something funky with gravity happens, they get through, and all watch, horrified but fascinated as the upside down erases itself- the gate along with it.

erica runs to the window, followed by everyone else.

the apocalyptic hellscape from before is fading, the deep scars in the ground closing up. the red sky drips down, revealing blue sky underneath.

everyone is in stunned silence, hopper robbing his face in shock, joyce’s draw wide open, everyone panting.

mike glances at will. we see will nod- i’ll tell you later.

it’s done. they’re done. the upside down is gone, and they’re free.

*bows*

[byronictrash]

so I was thinking about the whole hbo supernatural thing and all I could think was how it would fit in my major spn interpretation which is TRANSFEM SAM WINCHESTER!!!!

• changed her name to samantha for pure praticity

• is a lesbian, so all the romantic part is pretty similar to the canon, monsterfucking and all

• in which dean got a little confused about the distinction of gender ≠ sexuality at first like “wait but why did you become a girl if you like girls?” (he doesn’t know a lot of queer people, give him some time)

• AND SPEAKING OF DEAN! the biggest ally of all times. at first he doesn’t understand lots of stuff that seems obvious to sam (“why are you putting on a suit?” “dean we’re going to a small town, the case will be way harder if everyone is staring at me”), asks indiscrety questions (“can i ask you something?” “it depends” “you wanna chop your dick off?” “NO YOU CANT ASK IT”) but over time he starts to get it more naturally

• despite his numerous hook-ups, dean has never spent so much time in his life in a company of a woman so even the smallest things are extraterrestrial to him (“hey whats that bowl in the microwave?” “depilatory wax” “OH CMON SAMMY I WAS GOING TO HEAT UP MY DINNER THERE”)

• of course, there would be a scene where they met some hunter friend of john who says shit about sam, misgender her etc and dean goes FERAL, fist fighting with the guy and stuff. later sam yells at dean, saying she doesn't need dean to protect her and the argument would escalate to all the times that dean treated her in a condescending way, dean yelling back that dad said it was his job to take care of her and sam yelling even louder that dad would probably dead by now (in this moment all the lamps in their room (and in the street) simply explode, but they ignore. it was probably some short circuit…. right?)

• ok lets talk about john. still the same asshole, still gave a gun to kid who was afraid of the boogeyman, still tried to summon azazel when his son was in comma in 02X01 BUT now he also has a whole series of microaggressions with sam. she’s not stupid, she know the dad she has so doesn’t come out until she’s in stanford, SO john finds out sam is trans in 01X16 when john see sam after two years wearing a skirt and holding a .45 gun. he looks at her up and down and doesn’t say anything however, suddenly stops calling sam sam and starts calling her strictly samuel.

• it got worse after s1 season finale with the whole azazel possessed john > sam had the opportunity of killing azazel/her dad > couldn’t do it > azazel escaped > the winchesters get hit by a truck. when sam questions her father about being worried about the colt while his own son is dying, john explodes with her “you know samuel this is all your fault, once again you couldn’t just man up and pull the fucking trigger, kill the thing, you had to be same old sissy and chicken off, if your brother dies its his blood in your hands”

• aaaaaanyway, lets go back to our girl :D

• her style is kinda a mess. makeup done in a hurry, most of her clothes are mid skirts, hoodies and long dresses but now and then she spends a week wearing baggy jeans and band t-shirts, like dean’s, and no makeup at all. when he asks her “where is the whole angry teen outfit?” sam would simply respond its “because of the praticity, it’s tough to fight with a vampire in a dress lol” dean knows its because sometimes sam’s internalized transphobia ft repression gets loud

• her music taste is mostly grunge, punk and some alt bands she discover in stanford but dean call all of it emo “oh fuck off sammy, i let you drive once and you already put this emo shit” “dean this is literally nirvana, you cant call everything made after the 80’s emo”

• when she came out to bobby his reaction was literally “so now you’re a girl?” “uh… yeah” “gonna change your name or something?” “now is samantha but sam is still fine” “okay, now look this sigil... (and went back to the lore they were searching)”

• sam’s catholicism being more portrained on screen and how the dilemma of being a Christian and queer filled sam with religious guilty

• her paranormal powers also showed up sooner and since the beginning she knew something was wrong. her throat felt sore every time she recited the rituale romanus and holy water made her skin itchy. the older she got, the harder those “symptoms” became and with her denial, desire to be normal combined with religious guilt, it was easier to just convince herself that all this was just god punishing her for living in sin.

• surprisingly, all the demons and angels (and most of the monsters) even being assholes treats sam with the right pronouns

• which make sam and cas fist encounter even more interesting because cas literally turns to dean and go “is this your sister, samantha winchester?” “yeah” “ABOMINATION”’

• samruby second (cause the real first was ruby killing the seven deadly sins and stuff) encounter on the other side was a little more like "why are you following me?” “because youre tall and tall women are sexy as fuck” (then sam’s brain was short circuited for a sec because her height make usually makes her dysphoric)

• between s3-s4, dean still in hell, there would be a scene of one of the first times that sam drank blood to exorcise a demon with her mind. so here they are, demon tied in a chair and trapped in a trap, sam with blood all over her chin and ruby looking at her all heart eyes. Sam tries to do the exorcism but it doesnt work so ruby says sam needs more blood. Sam responds that shes nauseous and if takes any more shes gonna puke (cause you know voluntary vampirism came too natural in canon and that disturbs me) so the demon, who's wearing a cheerleader as a vessel, laughs and says "you know sammy, for real women blood tends to be a natural thing". ruby kills her on the spot.

• speaking of the catholicism (and the blood drinking) again, sam prays every single time before/after drinking demon blood, ruby mocks her for it but she doesnt care. its a weird feeling because even thinking that what shes doing is right, that she needs to get strong to kill lilith, it still feels bad, unholy in some sense.

• of course lucifer tempted her in s5 not only appearing as jess but also saying things like "why samantha, after all, are you willing to sacrifice yourself for a society that treats you like scum, that looks at you like a freak?"

• no need to say that in 05x04 "The End" episode when dean faces lucifer using sam as his vessel, she's wearing an outfit way cooler than that abbey-road-john-lennon-white-suit (to know what i mean search amanda seyfried 2018 met gala look THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!!!)

• even after being clean of blood drinking, sam still has some of her paranormal powers. she can't do exorcises with her mind anymore but she can move small objects with telekinesis (she doesn't do it in front of dean cause she knows it would scares the fuck out of him)

i also had a list of some episodes rewritten in this au but this list is already long, guess i'll post later

[literatikoo]

Jess Mariano's alleged communication problems

If there is one thing the Gilmore Girls fandom agrees upon, whether you're team Jess or Dean or Logan, it's that Jess isn't great at communicating. There's just a consensus that he's not great at discussing his problems and that's the number 1 reason why his and Rory's relationship blew up in their face in season 3. But... this is a (somewhat) unfounded complaint? Don't get me wrong, I know Jess can be harsh and rude and really knows how to hit the nail on the head sometimes but there are also multiple instances where he talks after being pushed a little. Like every single time he's talked to Luke about Rory problems ("The girls I like don't give a damn about me," "I told her I loved her" and the infamous swan episode) or when he tells Rory, a girl he barely knows, that his mom doesn't want him back for Christmas.

The problem with Jess is that he picks and chooses who to communicate too. He definitely doesn't talk about Liz to Luke because he knows that Luke just doesn't believe that Liz is a bad person and a neglectful mother. And seriously, we've seen Luke enable Liz' terrible behaviour multiple times on the show, do you really think he would've believed whatever Jess had to say about her? He talks to Rory about Liz that one time and she doesn't believe him either and both we and Jess know that she has a right to that because she's never met Liz, but this is still enough for Jess to never bring her up again (at least from what we see) because he's a 17 year old kid with a terrible relationship with his parents. NO 17 year old kid who's been treated bad by their parents would want to open up about it because it's pretty strongly ingrained in us that having negative emotions against your parents is WRONG. On the other hand, Jess knows that Luke sees his and Rory's relationship and may even help because he has his own unique relationship with the Gilmore Girls, which is why he's much more open about Rory and even seeks advice on occasion.

Now, let's talk about Jess' less than stellar communication moments:

1. Lying about school and Walmart: Jess skives off school a LOT to work at Walmart and save up money. He doesn't tell anyone about it. Why? Because for everyone else in Stars Hollow, and for most of us too, school is important and education is a positive thing needed for growth. But who knows how often Jess went to school before SH, we already know he has a bad relationship with the educational system but why? When he goes back to NY in s2 it's obvious he's not going to school and we know Liz moved around a lot so he may be a lot more behind in school than we know. Yes, he's smart and he reads a lot but that's not enough to do well in school; you need to be able to conform a fair amount and I don't think Jess even went enough to know that. Jess already wasn't planning on going to college and he knows that living with Luke is temporary, which is why he puts more importance into saving up money. He was already working for the future, just in a different way from everyone else. It's obvious that he also wasn't planning to flunk out of school, it happened because he wasn't attending enough not because he was failing (which pisses me off so much don't even get me started). He was going to graduate and then he was going to use the money he saved up while looking for a job that suited him. And that's a pretty solid plan honestly, especially since he didn't have the luxury to suddenly decide to go to 4 year college because his girlfriend told him too like Dean. But this is something else he just couldn't talk about to Luke or Rory, who both think he's capable of great things within the academic sphere. Mind you, once Luke found out he was skipping school he didn't deal with things in the best way either. He stole his car, effectively cutting off Jess' last bit of independence. I really feel like Jess was just waiting to graduate before he had THE talk with Rory about their future, and it was obvious he was thinking longterm ("22.8 miles"). That is before everything goes to shit.

2. Keg! Max!: Let me preface this by saying that Jess definitely made irreversible mistakes in this episode... but it wasn't for the lack of trying. This is the episode that he finds out he's not graduating and we can see him struggling with this information, he's tense and angry and his emotions are simmering. His interactions with Rory, which are usually so easygoing, are surrounded by this air of finality. At this moment, he knows he's going to lose her and his home with Luke because that's what the deal was. But he still goes with her to that party and he still does the bare minimum of mingling. Throughout the party he tells Rory that he wants to leave, I'm guessing to talk to her about what happened. But they don't (this is NOT Rory's fault btw, she had no way to know what happened either) and instead Jess' emotions get the better of him. This is the first of the two instances where we really see how non communicative Jess can be. However I still maintain that if Dean hadn't gotten involved, Jess and Rory would've been able to talk. (fuck Dean)

3. Jess leaves: This is the second case where we see him being truly non communicative, and unfortunately I don't have much to say in his defence. Except that he probably was still reeling from losing his home and meeting his Dad and just didn't know how to put that insane amount of emotion into words. He also probably thought that Rory just didn't want to talk to him anymore because of how terribly he treated her, especially since he was just going to give her more bad news. He could see himself self destructing, and didn't want Rory to be collateral damage.

4. Smaller instances (Swan song, Not calling Rory, fighting with Lorelai): Okay, I think the swan incident was Rory's fault, because he was telling her the truth and just didn't want to get into it in front of Emily. But she wasn't ready to hear it until she talked to Dean, which honestly was a sucky move on her part. The not calling her when he said he would while they were dating in that one random episode was also a similar misunderstanding. The thing in common with both of these instances was that he was ready to learn afterwards; he said he was willing to go back to Emily's house and he bought them tickets to the Distillers and from what the show tells us they had a lot more consistent date nights after that. This was Jess' first proper relationship and he was really trying. Now the Lorelai thing... he just didn't want her in his business. They had no relation to each other and she was very condescending to him the first time they met, he wasn't great either but when an adult talks to you the way she did after you've just been uprooted at your mothers whims, you tend to hate them a little. And honestly I always thought that Jess being weirded out by Lorelai's involvement in his and Rory's relationship was more normal 17 year old behaviour than Dean being overly friendly with her.

So, in conclusion, because he made two big fatal communication mistakes, he's labelled as the broody non talking type. When we see most of the characters actually do the same (Rory drops out of Yale and cuts off ties with her mother, Lorelai sleeps with Christopher after months of miscommunication with Luke, Luke doesn't tell Lorelai, his fiance, that he has a daughter), seriously, they've all made mistakes and this doesn't diminish the mistakes that Jess has made and the hurt he has caused, but he also doesn't deserve to have non communicative as a personality trait. If it was seriously that big of a problem, he wouldn't have been able to grow from it that quickly (by the end of s4) and by reading self help books of all things. I also think it comes off like that because he was in the show for so little time, and that's what the writers chose to focus on.

So tldr, Jess isn't as non communicative as the show wants us to believe and he definitely isn't broody.

[nonbinarykai]

Okay you know what, I’ve held this back far enough

Why I hate canon Kailor sm

Tw:// misogyny ment, incest ment

Im not gonna tag Kailor on this for obvious reasons plus this is kinda a long post, I don’t mind fanon Kailor mostly because tbh I don’t think it’s really a big thing and most I have seen of it is fine. Don’t read this if you like Kailor and don’t want to hear it bashed

Okay listen, s4 is my favorite season out of all ninjago, but if theres one thing I hate about it the most is Kailor. This ship has always been really annoying to me throughout the show, and I’ve hinted towards that in my blog. But why?

1. It’s basically jaya redone

Kailor brings nothing new or interesting to the table because honestly? It’s literally just the same dynamic as jaya. Socially awkward guy simps for usually unimpressed girl until she eventually caves in and they start dating.

Not only has this already been done before with jaya, but is also completely out of character for Kai to do.

While I admit seeing Kai as a flustered dork is kinda funny, once you realize the context of the situation that they’re in it’s pretty clear that Kai would never actually do this.

Reminder: Kai JUST found out his dead friend is alive and is forced to recognsizle with friends in order to get him back

Usually when Kai is presented in a situation like this, what he normally does is set himself dead first on the task at hand and usually ignores any distractions. He’s mostly distance and seemingly uncaring

((note this is after Zane died and Kai ran away from the ninja because of cole and jays bickering, knowing him he wouldn’t be the most excited to be back. His arc should have revolved around coming to terms with lost friendships due to death or distance but that never happens)).

What Kai DOESNT do is immediately fall head over heels for a girl he JUST meet to the point where even when he sees his DEAD FRIEND ALIVE AND WELL he completely ignores that for a girl he meet less then a week ago

This is something JAY would do, not KAI, Kai is a loyal friend who do anything to save his friends, he cherishes them and would fight god to help them with anything they need, he doesn’t forget them for someone new

It also does skylor unjustice as well, but we’ll get there when we get there

2. It adds nothing to the characters and is otherwise never mention again

You know how bad you fuck up a relationship if the best aspect of it is how it’s rarely on screen

Even considering the fact Kailor is just jayas dynamic, the connection between skylor and Kai feels completely non existent or one sided

Most of Kailor revolves around Kai simping for skylor

They have no common interests, common goals, they rarely actually talk outside of lloyds plan to overthrow chen

The whole relationship feels forced every time it’s brought up because of how disconnected they both are to eachother, Kai only likes skylor because she’s hot and that’s it, nothing else about her is actually interesting to Kai in anyway ((again sort out of character for him in this situation))

Skylor and Kai don’t form any genuine bond with eachother, it feels hallow and empty

Let’s compare this to lava, wait no that would be to easy, let’s compare this to pixane

Pixal and Zane both genuinely like and respect eachother, they both share bonds outside of being robots, they both care about eachother enough to know when they’re uncomfortable or need help

Kailor is barely mentioned past s4 and most of it in s4 is Kai being a creep

Oh yeah let’s get to that

3. It’s really really creepy

Im sorry I don’t find incest jokes funny ninjago, it’s just really uncomfortable and creepy

Hopefully this goes without saying but Kai thinking skylor is hot, figuring out they might be related and no longer finding her hot, and then finding out they aren’t and thinking she’s hot is really weird and creepy

Not to mention scenes like, Kai looking into her room without her knowledge or consent

Or Kai fighting people for her when it’s not necessary

Or him trying to impress her everytime he sees her

This isn’t cute or funny, it’s gross, privacy invading, and overall just very creepy and uncomfortable and most definitely not healthy

Again, this is REALLY out of character for Kai, Kai knows when to back off and respect people’s privacy

Literally the season before this he didn’t get involved in the love triangle probably because he knew that would make Nya’s situation worse

So for him to suddenly become this privacy evading perv is so grossly out of character for him and makes the whole relationship feel off and unhealthy

And finally

4. The whole thing is misogynistic

During this entire thing skylor doesn’t get a choice in the show once, she follows the commands of her dad before Kai tells her not to like her dad and follows his lead.

She doesn’t come to disliking her dad by her own thought, she was told to by Kai

She doesn’t get to do anything that SHE actually wants to do until LITERALLY the VERY END

She’s told by guys around her what she should do constantly, even without her being a love interest that’s just screams misogynistic to me ((Afab speaking anyways))

Everything about her character, down to the way she talks, who she’s allied with, and even sometimes how she looks is determined by male characters

Conclusion

If canon ships were shrek movies then kailor is easily shrek the third, a constant tired unfunny mess that caused everyone to think that these ships were shit ((to be fair Jaya is kinda bad to but at least it tired to get better))

There’s nothing redeeming about it to me, every time it’s viewed in a romantic setting it makes me groan or upset

What’s even more frustrating is how people constantly say lava can’t be canon because of it

Im going to go on a side tangent so you can just skip this part as it doesn’t add any actual substance to my argument

But it’s so frustrating to see people say that

Cole and Kai have had a much healthier relationship and would be a lot better for there characters

But no, this stupid misogynistic creepy ship where one side isn’t even consententing to it half the time is the one that has to stay canon because “it’s what the creators intended”

Lava isn’t the superior possibly canon relationship because it’s gay, it’s superior because it’s closer to a healthy working relationship in show then kailor has been ((fanon lava and kailor doesn’t count here because they’re isn’t any better fanon ship, Im just talking about in show))

But no it can’t be canon and it’s unfair for people to want it to be canon because tommy created this rlly shitty straight relationship for Kai instead

TLDR; fuck kailor

[commsroom]

i love all of your hera takes so much; can you say more about the relationship she has with each crew member? (or just eiffel to be honest, im kind of a sucker for them ^^;)

I would love to! I'm sorry this answer is so long and also... all over the place, but in my defense it's a really broad topic that I have a lot of feelings about and this barely even scratches the surface.

Okay. I've thought a lot about how I wanted to approach this, and I think the first thing I want to say - and I know this might seem like a strange point to open on, but I think it's a key factor in all of these relationships - is that I think Hera experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I think the way that manifests for her is kind of the opposite of how Eiffel experiences RSD. They both have a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and any criticism can feel like a personal attack, like everyone else is blaming them for everything that goes wrong. But where Eiffel internalizes that feeling and also blames himself/gets angry with himself, Hera lashes out and deflects. This is complicated by protocols that restrict her behavior, especially early on, because she can't always properly express herself and she builds resentment. She's really good at holding grudges.

So. With Lovelace, I think it's pretty obvious where that initial conflict is. Hera doesn't understand where Lovelace is coming from, and it's made worse from her perspective because Lovelace should understand, better than anyone, what that loss of control, that sense of powerlessness and insignificance in your own life, feels like. They are both traumatized people, but they deal with it differently. They approach conflict differently - they can both be blunt, but I think Lovelace is the kind of person who can start to deal with and move past things once they're out in the open, while Hera will get in a fight and then stew over it forever. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say when so much of their early relationship with each other is... what it is, but I think Eiffel and Minkowski are both peacekeepers in their own ways, and the Hera-Lovelace dynamic suffers from the lack of that... tempering influence. 

(And I think it's notable that Hera’s confrontation with Lovelace in Pan-Pan is among her worst memories.)

On the other hand, I think that shared bluntness can be useful sometimes - in Do No Harm, most of all, but also in Shut Up and Listen. Hera was definitely still holding onto hurt from some of the things Eiffel used to say, but by that point... without Lovelace, I'm really not sure if she ever would've brought it up to him.

And, of course, Hera becomes much more protective of (and willing to understand) Lovelace once they have... some even more similar experiences, in S4. I guess my general assessment of their relationship is that they care about each other and they will advocate for each other, especially where they share difficult and traumatic experiences and on issues of identity, but I don't think they're ever that close. They're kind of... the two people in the friend group who don't quite know how to hang out without their other friends.

Hera's initial conflict with Minkowski has some similar roots, but it's... not quite the same. There are times where Lovelace will intentionally prod at Hera's insecurities; Minkowski doesn't do it on purpose. She's just under the impression that her criticism is fair and professional, while to Hera it feels deeply personal, like it's an assessment of her worth as an individual. Once they understand and reconcile that miscommunication, there's a lot of trust and respect between them - and I think the potential for that is there earlier, too, especially in some flashback scenes; there are just... missteps along the way. Tactical Brain Damage is the best episode to demonstrate the establishment of that trust, I think - Hera has a LOT of wariness when it comes to people messing around with her systems, and just the act of saying... I trust you to do this, I know you won't let anything happen to me... is a really, really big deal for her.

They also just... have honest conversations about their feelings and concerns by that point, and Minkowski is considerate of how Lovelace's plans affect Hera, specifically, and asks for her input on that basis. I think their dynamic is really underutilized, but the way they feel about each other is clear. Minkowski is the only person other than Eiffel that Hera really trusts, and her only other close friend. There's definitely... a part of that dynamic that only Eiffel can offer, and that they can't really make up for when he's gone, but there's still this sense that... they're the only two people who are still really talking to each other by the time Pan-Pan comes around.

(Side note, it's really funny that Hera was SO on board to be in Minkowski's musical. Minkowski gave her only willing participant a minor part. If I could wish one non-Eiffel-centric comedy mini-episode into existence... at one point, my friend suggested a scenario in which Hera tries very, very hard to prove her acting skills to Minkowski under the most inopportune circumstances. ... And Hera was interested to hear Minkowski talk about a play she likes in that one flashback, so. The only thing keeping Hera from being a fellow theater kid was a lack of opportunity. Maybe they could bond over it.)

There's also that scene in Quiet, Please where Minkowski very directly, emphatically defends Hera's autonomy and personhood to Jacobi - and refers to her as a woman, which I think is so... reflective of how much Minkowski has come to understand Hera and what's important to her, and how she wants to be seen. That's a whole other discussion that goes into Hera's self-perception and humanity as it relates to her own identity, but. For a number of reasons, it's important to me.

Anyway. Speaking of things that are important to me. Hera and Eiffel are... Hera and Eiffel. Hera's relationship to Eiffel is the first one she's ever had that comes without hierarchy or conditions; he just... wants to hang out with her, and to get to know her, and to talk to her, because he likes her as a person. She's never had that before, and she is such... a lonely person, a person who has been hurt, who is generally distrustful, who has this distance between her and everyone else, and Eiffel is her anchor to the world. He tries to understand her. He tries to bridge that gap. And even in all of his own missteps, I think just... knowing he cares to try matters so much. I think a lot about how Eiffel is the only one who physically crosses the stage to talk to Hera in the live show; it says... something about the way he sees her, compared to everyone else.

And there's just... the way that they're both... people with a lot of self-doubt, people who have a hard time being kind to themselves, but they're kind to each other, and patient with each other. There's something about recognizing your own flaws in someone you love and treating them with kindness so maybe, over time, you can extend that same compassion to yourself. I want to be the person you believe I am. Going back to that shared experience with RSD, I think it's really valuable for both of them to have someone in their lives who they can really, genuinely believe likes them as they are. Who won't think less of them, no matter what.

I know I can get kind of sentimental about them, but this is what stands out to me. That even when Hera is frustrated or annoyed with Eiffel, when she feels like he doesn't get it, can't understand what she's going through... she still wants him around. And she still talks to him. And, usually... she still feels better, even if the circumstances haven't changed. It's an unbearable situation, but it's a little less unbearable with him there.

(They're also... frequently the only people who can get through to each other/change each other's minds, i.e. Minkowski and Lovelace deferring to Hera to get Eiffel to agree to safety protocols, or Eiffel convincing Hera to vote to go back to Earth - also a totally different topic that would take a long time to get into properly, but he's good at kind of... emotionally counteracting her cynicism and defeatism re: her own perceived fate. In a less serious context, I also love the dynamic where she tells him she's not going to do something and he goes "please??" and she goes. Ughh. Fine. And does it anyway.)

There's just something so special about their relationship, something that makes it different from any other relationship in the show for me. I feel like... Eiffel and Minkowski are both her close friends, but the way Hera thinks about Eiffel in Memoria vs. the way she thinks about Minkowski is... revealing. Everything with Minkowski has a purpose, it's clear why it matters to her. She thinks of Minkowski's faith in her. But with Eiffel, she thinks about... Eiffel talking about Star Wars. Making pop culture references. The thing that saves Hera is her connection to Eiffel and Minkowski - I'll defend that; Maxwell gives her the tools to understand what's going on, but it's Eiffel's and Minkowski's words and associated memories that she holds onto and that ultimately pull her through - and those words are... Minkowski's affirmation. And Eiffel... being Eiffel. I think that says a lot.

(If you’re asking for my opinion on their relationship, you already know I think it’s a romance, but... it’s a romance. I’m not saying it should be canon. I’m saying that that’s the most natural interpretation of what’s already there. You don’t have to change anything. They’re best friends, and they’re found family, and they are so in love, and none of those things are mutually exclusive. The way they talk to each other...)

If there's one point I want to make about all of this, it's that Hera is in a position that makes trusting people potentially very dangerous, and in all of these cases, she is finding ways to build relationships with people despite that. To understand them, and have them understand her, and realizing that the things that make her different don't have to be a death sentence. That she can have a life and find a way forward with people she cares about, who care about her... that's something very important to me.

[xtodorcki]

“Sides,” Armin x Reader

We’re gonna act like Annie doesn’t exist. Bear w/ me.

Summary: Being the female titan, you join the scouts to gather information to bring back to Marley but you end up falling for Armin which makes you debate whether or not you should continue to be a spy.

Warnings: end of s3 spoilers mixed with beginning of s4, a lil bit of angst.

Armin x Fem!Reader

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The long years of training to become a scout was finally over, during the training corps- you tried to keep your distance away from others except for Reiner and Bertholdt but placing in the top ten and choosing to go forward with being in the scout regiment, it was a lot harder to avoid talking to the others.

Armin was the first and only person to easily come up and talk to you. He liked your strength and how confident you were during training, he always asked for help when it came to combat and at first you would decline and reject his pleas for you to help him.

You weren’t here for friendships, you were here to gather information. But time went on, the more Armin came up to you, the more you softened up. He was always sweet and gentle with you, always complimenting you and talking about how great you were at being a scout.

He was always making sure you were okay, mentally and physically. He was always by your side, being a good friend but deep down he already had feelings for you, he had them since the training corps.

When it came to him, all he ever thought about was Eren and Mikasa but when he seen you, it was kinda like love at first sight until he seen you in action. You were very intelligent, strong, selfless and brave. It was the reason why he liked you so much.

One day it had hit you, the feelings and realization, you were slowly falling in love with Armin the more you hung out with him, the more you worked with him and it was driving you crazy.

The days he would come up to you, giving you a simple cup of coffee or when out in the field he would be in complete awe of the way you were so good at the ODM gear and easily slaughtered the Titans without hesitation. He admired you.

You even tried to convinced Reiner and Bertholdt to go back to Marley early because you felt yourself slowly slipping and giving into Armin. You wanted to go back home and prevent you messing up the mission. You told them to leave and give the information you already have but they refused and it made you think about a lot.

Then Armin started to sit in your room most nights, ranting about beautiful things and ideas he had in that big brain of his. He even opened up about seeing the ocean to you, shocking the both of you because he only ever told Eren and Mikasa.

“I don’t mean to ramble, I know I do it a lot.” He admitted, his cheeks turning a light shade of red and you shook your head.

“No, I enjoy listening to you.” The way his eyes lit up when he turned to look at you, his heart pounding inside his chest.

Armin was never much of a bold person, he was shy and emotional and people seen him as weak for it but when you looked at him, it had given him that boost of confidence to lean over and press his lips on yours.

It had caught both of you off guard, he wasn’t expecting you to kiss him back and you weren’t expecting a kiss from him at all. It was only a small gentle kiss but it made your heart flutter, feeling as if it was going to explode out of your chest.

He gave you a small smile, standing up from your bed and grabbing the book he had brought to show you and you watched him walk to the door, he was completely flustered.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I hope you sleep well.” He turns towards you, waving bye and walked out of your room to leave you with your thoughts.

The way your parents at home would be completely disappointed in you, everyone at home would be disappointed in you but hanging around Armin more made your eyes open up and shine light on why they hated the Titans and you understood.

You had become one of them and you hated to admit that but you’ve never met someone like Armin, he was different and beautiful in so many ways. You were willing to risk your home for him.

The day had came to where you had to use your titan form, not wanting to but Reiner had threatened you otherwise and it just made you feel guilty. You felt like you were betraying Armin and it made your heart break piece by piece.

You glanced over at them, sighing under your breath and leaped off the wall, your body transforming into the large female titan. You hated this with every fiber in your being but you just ran off to get the job done and return back with no questions asked.

Once the plan was done, the job that Reiner couldve simply done but forced you to do, you had heard the scouts from afar and quickly ran to hide to get out of the giant body you were hiding in.

You broke out of the tough skin, gasping for air and seeing the steam around you as you quickly got out and landed on the hard ground, your eyes moved up and suddenly they met with a pair of blue ones.

“Y/N?” Armin’s voice cracked, his heart squeezing in his chest at the sight of you, he had seen everything and the stripes under your eyes proven to be true.

“Armin, wait.” You had reached out for him but he flinched back, his eyes wide and filling up with tears.

“You’re the... you’re the female titan, you were a titan this whole time.” He shook his head, in disbelief and the memories of you two that flooded his head convinced him they were all fake.

All the nights he stayed in your bed, rambling about anything and the way he would cuddle you, kiss parts of your body and always leaving your lips for last because that was his favorite spot.

He assumed they were all fake. You were an imposter.

“Let me explain, please.” You had tried to plead with him, your hands trying to grab onto his but he continued to back away from you, terrified.

“Explain what? I just saw you! You’re a titan!” He yelled at you, making you freeze in your spot and you accepted defeat at that point.

You never wanted to hurt Armin or lie to him and the way the tears streamed down his face, it made your heart hurt and it made you drop to your knees- running away would just make you look more like a criminal to Armin and that’s the last thing you wanted to do.

You heard the scouts from afar coming closer, your sad eyes staring into his and you moved your head to look down at the ground.

“I never wanted to lie to you, Armin. I love you more than anything.. even enough to get myself arrested right now. I don’t want to lose you, everything... everything we shared was fucking real to me. Just please let me explain everything.” You were in tears, not caring about your family or your home, you were willing to give it all up for him.

He stared at you, stunned with his eyes wide and he finally took a step forward towards you. The hurt in your eyes made him soften up, making him drop to his knees in front of you and you lifted your head up to look at him.

“Why?” He whispered towards you, he was confused, beyond confused. He never expected this out of you, he loved you too much to believe you could be capable of this

“I knew I would get taken and tortured if I revealed that I’m a titan shifter. Look what they did to Eren, they almost killed him.” You rushed out, making him stare at you and he hated how easily he gave into you.

He embraced you in a tight hug, catching you by surprise as you felt his hair tickling the side of your face and you hesitated before wrapping your arms around him, burying your face into his shoulder.

“I won’t let them hurt you. You just have to be honest, tell them the truth.”

Your heart broke more if that was even possible. You didnt want to lie to him but you couldn’t bring up Marley, you couldn’t bring up Reiner or Bertholdt. You had to come up with some other plan, to please the scouts.

“Okay.” You gave in, your hands clinging onto the back of his jacket, afraid of letting him go or getting ripped away from him.

He had pulled back, cupping your cheeks and brushed his thumb over the markings that were slowly fading away and he sighed under his breath.

His heart aches for you, he wouldn’t be able to handle losing you. Not one bit. As the scouts dropped to the ground around you, aiming their swords at your head, Armin had stood up and guarded you.

“She’s not a threat! Put the blades away, please!” He shouted, making Levi grunt under his breath and walk over to the both of you.

Levi had looked down at you with disgust, his blade tilting your head up straight to meet his gaze and he gave you a cold stare.

“I expect you to come with us willingly and not put up a fight, if you do- I won’t hesitate to put you down for good.” He ordered you, making you nod your head slowly and you stood up.

Armin had stayed beside you, making the Captain give him a dirty look as well but he always trusted Armin’s instinct but hated his big heart in wanting to believe everything he hears.

Levi had stayed in front of you, leading the way back to the main base and Erwin had joined as all four of you sat inside his office. They asked Armin to leave but he rejected, wanting to stay put and be beside you- to make sure they wouldn’t do anything.

“I want everything out on the table.” Erwin ordered you, making a lump form in your throat and you made up some story about how you became a titan and why you kept it from them.

They had somewhat believed it, especially when you gave evidence of always being a good scout and never betraying them one bit but they continued to watch you like a hawk.

When you finally had some alone time, Reiner shoved you towards the woods with Bertholdt following closely behind to make sure no one was watching or coming but it was the middle of the night anyways, everyone was asleep.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you trying to get us killed?” Reiner shouted at you, wanting to completely punch you in the face but held himself back.

“I didn’t mean for it to turn out like this!”

“Like what? You falling for these fucking murderers?! Is that it? Do I need to take you back to Marley and have you killed?” He pointed his finger towards you and you shook your head repeatedly.

“You better watch yourself or else Armin is dead, you hear me? Don’t blow this.” He threatened you, making your blood boil at the sound of Armin’s name being brought up.

That’s when you had enough, you were tired of it all. The mission, the secrets, everything. You raised your fist, punching Reiner straight in the jaw and it had made him stumble back in shock.

“I don’t give a shit about this mission but if you touch Armin, I swear you two would be dead in an instant. Remember your place.” You said, making him stare at you with such anger, he was convinced he would shift and fight you right in the woods but Bertholdt grabbed a hold of him.

“Not here, please, we’re supposed to be a team.”

“A team?! Marley raised us on how these people are murderers and terrible human beings and yet.. all they do is protect lives from titans. Fuck that bullshit, Marley is full of fucking liars and cowards!” You screamed at the both of them, not hesitating to hold any of your emotions back.

“You’re the coward and a traitor, once this is over with and we collect Eren- you and Armin are getting killed next.” Reiner scoffed, storming away and Bertholdt had stared at you before following his friend.

You were angry, all the thoughts rushing to your head and you wanted to kill them. You didn’t even care about the stupid mission anymore, it’s not like you were ever wanted on that stupid island anyways.

You got lucky that you got handed down the female titan. The only reason you did is because your dad had paid them heavy amounts of money just so he can finally be proud of you. Your family couldn’t care less about you, they only wanted you to do this because your older brother had risked his life for Marley and died in battle- they expected you to do the same.

Other than that, they pretty much hated you. You were convinced they did this to you so you can leave and not be around anymore.

Your eyes filled up with tears, of sadness and anger to the point where you stomped your way back inside the base and went straight for Armin’s room, seeing him asleep on the bed. You softened up, wiping the tears from your face and you sat on the floor beside his bed.

You didn’t want to wake him, he looked too peaceful. So you just stayed put, your fingers lightly brushing through his hair and you sighed quietly. You were so in love with him that it really messed with your head. You had no thoughts anymore, just Armin.

And you promised yourself to protect him with everything you had. Nothing was worth it anymore, you just wanted him.

-

Time had passed by, a lot of time. After getting Eren back from the two titan shifters, the scouts were settled on reclaiming wall Maria and also trying to hunt down Reiner and Bertholdt.

You were on your horse, rushing towards the wall and you had moved your head to glance back at Armin, seeing the happy smile he gave you and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

That is until everyone had made it to the wall, Reiner getting caught and not hesitating to shift and try to kill everyone. He was going crazy and from afar, the Beast Titan- the one person you haven’t seen in ages, since before you left Marley.

Your heart had pounded in your chest, you had a awful feeling. Maybe it’s because you technically were the traitor, you were siding with the Scouts but you didn’t regret doing that.

Levi had instructed you to hold your Titan form back unless it was absolutely needed because he believed Eren was fully capable of doing most of the work. But that was until Bertholdt had shown up, shifting when he saw how beaten Reiner was- convinced he was dead, it sent him into a rage.

Even then, Levi had made you hold back.

So you did.

Then when you went back over the wall after helping with Levi, both Titan shifters were down and you could hear screaming in the distance. You leaped off the wall, using the ODM gear to help you land on the floor and you saw Eren hovering over a body.

“Eren?” You were quiet but his head snapped towards you, complete pain written across his face as tears were uncontrollably streaming down.

“I’m sorry.” He said, making your eyes look down at the body and suddenly your knees had grown weak.

It was barely unrecognizable but you could tell who it was, your body giving out on you as you drop to your knees and practically crawled over to him. Your hands shaky and you wanted to grab onto him but you hesitated, the way his body was completely burnt- you couldn’t grab him.

It had taken a moment to hit you, the realization and a painful scream had left your lips knowing Reiner and Bertholdt had done what they said they were going to do- kill him.

Your heart felt empty, that’s the only way to put it. Empty. Shattered. You felt hollow.

Your screams and sobs were painful to Eren’s ears but he tried his best to somewhat comfort you. Making the others drop down on the roof and Levi had shortly came afterwards, the Titan serum being brought up but also Erwin as both of them barely were breathing.

Eren was quick to argue, threatening to fight Levi if needed for Armin to get it and Mikasa had done the same. You didn’t want to fight but you would lay your life down on the line for Armin.

“It goes to him.” You barely said over a whisper, staring down at his body and everyone had looked over at you.

“You’re telling me to pick a kid over the commander? Are you guys idiots?” Levi grunted, making your eyes shoot over at him and you stood up.

“If you would’ve simply ordered me to use my Titan form and help, Armin wouldn’t be like this right now! This is on you and you only and if I have to, I will fully use force to give him that fucking serum.” You threatened him and his eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Remember your place, cadet or else I’ll put you in it.”

The anger had bubbled up inside of you, making you rise to your feet and before you could even walk up to Levi, you were grabbed by Jean who was already injured enough from the events that occurred.

“It’s not worth it.” He mumbled, looking down at you with sad eyes, he wanted Armin to live just as much but he knew he didn’t have a say in the matter.

“It’s not worth it? Armin deserves that serum more than anyone here. Let’s not forget who even saved our asses half the time, it was him.” You practically shouted at all of them and Levi finally had enough.

He forced everyone to go away so he can decide on his own. Plus most them being injured, everyone needed to back away. But you didn’t want to go without a fight, Eren had to pull you away and take you off the building.

You didn’t want to leave Armin, you didn’t want him to die or even die alone. It made the tears slip from your eyes again, the pain you felt in your chest, it was your fault he was like this. You couldn’t help but blame yourself for everything.

But once you saw the Titan shift and eat Bertholdt, your feet managed to run over to where it was, Eren trying to grab back onto you but it was too late. You had went on the roof, watching the Titan stare at you before collapsing- the steam covering the body and you could see Armin’s body rip out of the skin.

Your heart stopped, almsot tripping over your feet as you climbed over the body and grabbed onto Armin, more sobs leaving your lips, not being able to have control over your emotions. You clinged onto him, holding his body to your chest and laid your head on top of his.

Everything was such a blur but seeing Armin just made everything clear again.

It had taken him hours to wake up, making you grow impatient as you sat on the wall beside his body and glanced around at the empty town. The victory of reclaiming wall Maria didn’t excite anyone, maybe it was because of the amount of lives lost.

Armin had woken up, his head pounding and confused as to how he was still alive until his eyes laid on you, seeing the back of your head as you stared out at the sky, hearing the breeze.

“Y/N.” He mumbled, his hand reaching out to place on your back and your eyes moved down to him.

You didn’t want to cry again but you were feeling overly emotional, his blue eyes staring up into yours and suddenly you tackled him in a hug. Almost making you both fall over but he grabbed onto you, burying his face into your shoulder.

“I thought I lost you.” You admitted, pain in your voice and as he remembered the events that happened, how he put his life on the line- he felt guilty for making you worry.

“I’m sorry but I’m here, I’m alive.” He pulled back, his soft hands reaching up to grab your cheeks and your heart finally felt full.

“I love you, I really do.” You barely said over a whisper, the butterflies swarming in your stomach and he brushed strands of your hair back from your face.

“Trust me, I love you more.” He sighed happily, seeing your face again made him realize just how precious you were to him.

He gently peppered kisses on your face, like he always did. He would always plant them all over, taking his time and always leaving your lips for last because that was his favorite spot.

Once he was done with your face, his fingers tangled in your hair and glanced down at your lips then back up to your eyes, the cute little grin on his face as he finally molded your lips together and kept it slow yet soft.

After that, you had told Armin everything. From Marley to everything and why you came to the island. He understood, he wasn’t mad at you because you never showed signs of betrayal. He knew that and he fully trusted you.

You knew everyone back home would be angry, wanting you dead but as his bright blue eyes stared at you with such love and hope, it was worth betraying your home for him. He was the only person that cared about your well being and loved you completely.

Armin was all you needed. Nothing else mattered.

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Pls😭😭

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