#MASH oneshot

[make-me-imagine]

Good Enough

Requests: "What is it about me that isn't good enough?" + "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met. Inside and out." + "You are my favorite part of every day." + comfort fluff with Hawkeye Requested By: Anon and @starlit-epiphany

Pairing: Hawkeye Pierce x GN!Reader

Warnings: Brief mentions of cheating, and also a kiss.

Words: 1.6k

-

You absentmindedly stirred your cold coffee as you stared off into space. You were the only one in the mess tent, which wasn't surprising. It was the middle of the night, and your shift had ended. You tried to sleep, but couldn't, so here you were, sitting alone in the light of a small lantern.

Barely registering that the door had opened and closed, you didn't bother to look back. Not even as someone as beside you. You only paid attention when you felt yourself nudged in the side. Looking over, you found Hawkeye staring at you, a look of concern on his face. You realized that it must be later than you thought if Hawkeye was off his shift now as well.

"Oh. Hi Hawk." You said casually as you sat up a bit straighter.

"Hi? That's what I get? I spoke to you for a solid minute and got no response. What's up?" He asked, before taking a sip of his coffee, wincing and promptley setting it back down.

You let out a small breath and shook your head. "Just tired" you smiled. "Couldn't sleep" You looked back at your coffee, unsure if you should tell him what happened.

It was hard enough for you that Hawkeye didn't have the same feelings for you that you had for him. You'd feel only embarrassed to tell him of your similar situation with someone else.

He nodded his head a bit still watching you closely. "Okay, out with it." He said a bit more forcefully, and you looked at him with surprise. "Come on you can't keep secrets from me." He said as he motion his hand at you.

'That's what you think.' You thought to yourself before you cleared your throat. "It's a bit embarrassing." You admitted.

"I wont laugh." He said as he raised his hand up, as if making an oath.

You smiled at the gesture, before letting out a long breath. "Uh, so, I've been, sort of seeing someone for the last few weeks." You paused and looked over at Hawkeye.

Part of you hoped to see jealousy cross his face, but you didn't really expect it. So when you saw him seem to adjust himself uncomfortably, you felt your chest tighten. "Oh, I didn't know that. Uh, wh-who is this lucky gentlemen? Or gentlelady, I don't judge." He quickly joked, and you rolled your eyes lightly.

"Patrick, the newer MP."

"Ah, yeah, I've seem him around."

You nodded your head. "Yeah, well...I thought he really liked me ya' know? I thought we had a somewhat serious thing going on, but earlier, when I went to do inventory, I uh- caught him in a rather revealing situation with a nurse."

Hawkeye watched your face fall as you said this, and he felt anger rise in his chest. He let out a deep breath and shook his head. "Bastard." He mumbled under his breath. "And I assume this is at least one of the reasons you can't sleep?"

You shrugged lightly. "I wish it didn't effect me so much, but, it does."

Your mind began to wander, and you started talking, slowly as you stared at the tent wall. "There was this guy in high school, I really, really liked, he even asked me to prom. But the day before, I found out he asked someone else instead, and went with them. Then there was a guy in college. I thought for a short while I was gonna marry him. Then he left me for someone else. And then-"

You stopped short, as you thought to yourself. 'And then there was you. The crazy, hilarious, but heart-felt and kind Doctor I fell head over heels for, who would never see me the same way.'

"And now Patrick." You said softly before shaking your head. "I guess I just don't get it. What is it about me that isn't good enough?"

Hawkeye felt his heart break as you said this, your eyes falling to the table as your face fell. How cold you think you weren't good enough? You were more than enough, for anyone. It was other's who weren't good enough for you. Including himself.

Leaning a bit closer to you, he spoke in a soft voice, but it was heavy with feeling. "Don't you dare think for a minute, that you aren't good enough for those guys. You are the one they didn't deserve. You are the one Patrick is missing out on. If he can't see that then he's a bigger idiot than I thought. You are kind, generous, smart, and brave. Look at me Y/n."

Tentatively you met his eyes, and he smiled softly as he continued. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met. Inside and out." Placing his hand on top of yours, he seemed almost lost for words before he met your eyes again. "Hell, you are my favorite part of every day. You make me remember the good in the world, even out here, in the middle of this damn war. And if a schmuck like me can see that, they should too. But if they don't, then that only means they don't deserve to be anything to you, so don't waste your heart on them."

Your heart was pounding heavily, and your eyes burned hot as you listened to him speak. You never knew he thought that way about you, and a part of you wished he didn't. It only made you fall harder for him. Which in turn, only made you hurt more.

"Hell, if I was lucky enough to be with you, I would never let you go."

You felt your neck and ears burn hot at his comment, and you looked away timidly, pulling your hand away from his. "You don't need to say these things just to make me feel better Hawkeye."

He frowned, shaking his head. "Y/n, I'm not just saying them, I mean them, honestly."

You met his eyes again, and smiled, speaking in a joking tone. "And here I thought, I wasn't your type."

He tilted his head a bit. "And why would you think that?" He was not joking, his face held a serious expression.

You looked at him with a furrowed brow. "You're kidding right?" You almost scoffed.

He shook his head, and you felt your chest tighten. "Well, I mean, the nurses I see you with, they're all so different than I am."

"When was the last time you saw me with a nurse?"

You opened you mouth to speak, but faltered, actually thinking about it. You couldn't recall any time recently that you saw him chasing after a nurse. "I- I don't remember, but that's not the point."

"No, the point is-" he paused as he turned, swinging his leg over the bench to face you entirely, "-that none of them compare to you. And ever since I got to know you, none of them have shined a light to you. If I had less control over myself I'd probably follow you around like a love-sick puppy." His face fell a bit as he saw how taken aback you were. "But I hid it a bit to well didn't I?"

You nodded your head a bit as you swung your own leg over, facing him. "I had no idea. I thought you'd never be interested in someone like me."

A soft, almost sad smile crossed his face as he reached forward taking your hands in his again. "You're the first person I think I've ever met that I thought, or felt this seriously about. And I guess, that scared me. So maybe I did push those feelings away, hid them. But I do feel them. And.... I know you may feel like you can't trust me, due to my, admittedly amorous reputation. But I can assure you, I could never hurt you, nor would I ever want to."

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you gently squeezed his hand. "I trust you Hawkeye."

He met your eyes and smiled softly.

"And just so you know, Patrick doesn't compare to you either."

His smile grew bigger. "Now your just buttering me up."

You let out a soft laugh and shook your head, looking down at your intertwined hands.

"I'm sorry he hurt you." He added softly.

You smiled as you met his eyes, shrugged your head. "You're right, he isn't worth me wasting my heart on."

He smiled, almost proudly, before his face changed, showing a more timid expression. "Do you think I might be worth it?"

You bit the inside of your lip lightly as you resisted smiling. You nodded your head. "I do. And I don't think it would be a waste."

His smile grew as his eyes flicked between your eyes and you lips. Slowly, the two of you leaned closer, pausing as your noses touched, your lips only an inch apart. Your eyes met and they both shined with various emotion. Together, you closed the space between you, your lips meeting almost cautiously, before you both deepened the kiss.

Slowly, you and Hawkeye both let go of each others hands. Yours rose, one gently placed on his neck, the other gently grabbing his loose shirt. Hawkeye's hands cupped your face as he deepened the kiss.

When you both ran out of breath, you pulled away, resting your foreheads against one another as you stared at each other gaily. Gently caressing your face he pecked your lips quickly.

"I don't want this to end, but if we don't get any sleep, we'll be zombies tomorrow." He said softly, and you could see the exhaustion of the day in his eyes.

You yourself felt fatigue begin to wash over you and you nodded. "Only promise this isn't already a dream."

He smiled brightly, leaning in and kissing you gently.

"I promise."

xx End xx

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @caswinchester2000, @imaginesfire, @rexit-moMASH Taglist: @thatadroitgeek, @whimsical-daydreams, @meganlpie, @hybrid-omegaverse, @multifandomfix

[vikuo-kuma]

Rain and a rainbow

A/N: Requested from TikTok

Warning: slight angst, reader controls the weather with their emotions, loss of parental figures, loss of friends.

——

Freak.

They’re such a weirdo.

They make everything so gloomy, I don’t want to play with them.

They look so heartless.

Oh.. You stood there soak under the rain. Eyes filled with sorrow, yet there was a lack of tears streaming down your eyes. You held onto the wand, the wand your parents had left behind, seeking the little comfort it gave you. You did feel emotions, but you never knew how to express them. So, You weren’t heartless were you?

—

You’ve gotten older, yet you seem to haven’t changed a bit. You wandered around the orphanage, with the constant sound of rain pounding against the windows. With every step, you traced every line of the orphanage walls. Every small detail.

Being lost in your own thoughts as you continue your small walk, you bump into the lady that brought you in. A kind hearted willow, she seems to always be visiting you with a smile. You never knew why, why would she smile at such a gloomy person? Her visit today was to inform you about a school that she had enrolled you to. It was a way to harness your magic, to allow control. You nodded your head in response simply because you didn’t know how to really react.

—

Here you are, in a completely new environment, it felt full yet feels empty. Except that you were actually learning something new, something that makes you feel accepted. But the rain continues to pour. It seems never ending, never changing, drip, drip, drop.

Drip, drip, drop.

You sat outside in the field, letting the rain pour onto you as you sat there.

Drip, drip, drop.

“Hey, do you want a cream puff?” Huh? There was a slight shadow over your head, the feeling of rain had stopped, yet the sound was still there. You looked up, blinking dumbfounded. You see a dark mushroom haired male with a neutral expression, chewing on a pastry, and holding up an umbrella. He was looking directly at you, his yellow eyes glistening. “Uh sure?”, you responded, he grabbed a pastry from his cloak and handed over.

“There, now you can be happy”, you blinked again at his comment, happy? You look down at the pastry and bit into it.

The rain that had been there all your life, the rain that tortured you constantly with its sounds, had finally ended. “Oh look, a rainbow”, The dark haired male pointed out. Yeah, I think this is the feeling of happiness.

[angelsbless]

Hiii, could you do a mashle Innocent Zero x reader (maybe how they met?!)

Well well well i actually didn't expect to receive an innocent zero ask, this is quite interesting actually it took me time to think about it. ( Can't blame you tho he's fine hehe). here you go dear i hope you like it 🤍.

.

Innocent zero x reader |( how you met)

As you know innocent zero is a great mage and is looking for more power and perfection to be the ultimate creature and the non-defeatable. As he was on his journey to obtain power while disguised he met you, you were a class S mage and an archaeologist interested in old great magic and magic history and books. So it was the greatest opportunity for him to take advantage of you.

He introduced himself as a new archaeologist needing help so you could offer him joining you and that's exactly what you did. He was surprised at your welcoming and charming smile because he never actually saw anyone smiling at him like that. As your journey continued he started observing you more and more, the way you got excited over the little details and your excitement whenever you found some old magic books or a new spell graved on a stone. He thought it was annoying, how could someone be this stupid? Why are you excited? it's nothing but magic and books, he wanted to get rid of you right away, he was trying to give the same energy back but it was hella difficult. Even if he thought so, it didn't bother him to see your smile and hear your giggles " just a little more " he said this to himself every day while being your company, until one day he found himself smiling at your gestures thinking you're kinda amusing, he liked it whenever he teased you and actually enjoyed your company?

To think that someone will be this comfortable around him and taking care of him was impossible, you were just too kind and too gentle while dealing with him, he never wanted to admit that but he liked it, he was delaying his plans and his priorities and convincing himself that it's too soon, just to still receive your sunlights. He hated the idea that he should stay away from you after that.

So when he decided it was time to leave he just took your hand and finally showed you his real self and then said " i never thought I'd ever say this but you should keep annoying me, you're not going anywhere else but near me, and no one is allowed to see that smile of yours. " He said and then kissed your hand. He was taken off guard when you told him that you knew who he is and that you don't mind, he just smiled a bit of mischievously and said under his breath " what a woman i got myself involved with ". HE WAS AMAZED !

[yusume-the-writer]

Training and new habits

Mash Burnedead x chubby/curvy fem reader

This request was made by @miniaturelunar I hope you like it and sorry for the delay, and that I forgot what Mas's training was called

Have a good day and don't forget to drink water and eat

Summary: (Name) asks Mash if she can join him in his workouts and the two create a new habit of theirs

 "Mash, can I join you in your workouts?" A curvy girl said in an excited tone of voice as if she were a child asking to buy her a toy.

 Mash has never had anyone accompany him in his training besides his father, so it was a surprise for him that his girlfriend (Name) wanted to accompany him.

 "...Ah...Okay" Mash didn't seem like it, but he was embarrassed

 "Seriously, thank you for letting me accompany you" (Name) says with a happy smile like a child getting the toy he wanted

 ೋ❀❀ೋ═══ • ═══ೋ❀❀ೋ

 So here was Mash doing his workout with (Name) watching

 Sometimes (Name) would praise or make sounds of admiration, which made Mash's ears blush a light pink.

 After Mash finishes his exercises (Name) asks curiously "So what's the next exercise?" as he tilts his head to the side in a cute way

 "There...just the push-ups left and then I'll be done" Mash said until something popped into her head "That stays on top of me while I do the push-ups?" Mash says without knowing the consequences of this

 ... Silence...

 "Eh?!?" (Name) says as her face starts to turn redder than Dot's hair "Really?!?!" She says while blushing even more

 "Really" Mash says as he continued to stare at the girl in front of him with his typical expression

 "B- but wouldn't there be a problem with my weight, like a person's weight isn't easy to hold for more than a certain amount of time, that person could collapse under the weight" (Name) says as he starts to explain to Mash why she couldn't stand on top of them while doing push-ups

 "I don't care about your weight, besides, nothing is heavy for me" Mash said with her typical pride

 "He is sure?" (Name) says while with her red cheeks continues to stare at Mash

 "Yes"

 "Absolute?"

 "Yes"

 "But is -"

 "Everything is fine"

 "...Right" (Name) says while giving up fighting, Mash's pride and willpower was not something to trifle with

 So here was (Name) embarrassed on top of Mash who was doing his push-ups as just another normal day of training, something that was normal for him

 But it didn't take long for her to start counting how many times he did it.

 "1.989, 1.990, 1.991, 1.992, 1.993, 1.994, 1.995, 1.996, 1.997, 1.998, 1.999, 2.000! What an amazing Mash!!!" (Name) says as he watches him stop doing push-ups

 As soon as he stops moving (Name) gets up and sees Mash starts to get up

 "Hey, what did you think?" Mash asks curiously wanting to know her opinion.

 "Very incredible!!!! We could do it more often!!!" (Name) says while raising her hands up like a happy child

 "Okay" Mash says as she shows a small smile as she stares at her beloved as she continues to babble about how amazing it was and how Mash was much stronger than expected.

 After that day it became a small habit for (Name) and Mash

𝑩𝒐𝒏𝒖𝒔

"What is that?" (Name) says while staring at Mash drinking her protein shake.

"It's a homemade ground bean powder protein shake," Mash says as he stops drinking the shake and stares.

Mash then holds the shake in front of (Name).

"What to try?" Mash says curiously

"I want!!" (Name) says as she takes the shake, brings it to her lips, and takes a sip.

"So did you like it?"Mash says while staring at (Name) as she takes the protein shake from her lips.

 "...It's actually good, and like drinking bean broth only crushed and not roasted" (Name) says as she turns around and gives Mash a big smile.

[mashleinlove]

Cream Puff Hero

Mash Burnedead x Reader

As a second year in the Adler dorm as well as the Divine Visionary candidate for last year, you had a sense of responsibility (or was it obligation?) to watch over the newbie first years and apparently, your dorm’s prefect was busy with his works and thus asking you to take over his role in the dorm for a while.

Not that you hate it, but having lost to the one and only Rayne Ames, then having to work for him made you a little irritated.

“Stupid Rayne, stupid him and his dual colored hair-” you ranted while stomping back to your room, turning by the corridor then-

Accidentally bumping into a wall of rock.

“Ooofff!!” No, it wasn’t a rock but-! “Hiyapp!!” you barely reached out to the falling cream puff, gravity pulling you backwards and you closed your eyes for the impact.

But it never came.

Instead, an arm had slithered around your waist, securing you from a possible concussion and being unable to fulfill your duties.

“Sorry, that was embarrassing of me-” you apologized to the person in front of you after backing away while blushing profusely. Not only your internal rambling costed you your pride, you even disrespected him by thinking of him as a wall! “Hello...?” you voiced out, realizing the boy didn’t say anything.

Instead, he grabbed your hand with a sparkle in his eyes, and though his face was impassive, you can tell the boy looked happy for some reason.

“Thank you for saving my cream puff!” he said, with his face an inch too closer for your liking.

You blinked owlishly at him. “O-okay?”

“Um, I think I got a little lost here. Can you tell me where dorm 302 is?”

‘He doesn’t sound like a bad kid though?’ you coughed to snap out of your thoughts. “So you’re in Adler dorm? I can take you there since I’m your senior,” smiling you gestured to the direction of the said dorm.

“Oh, thanks then.”

‘First day of school, and there’s already a weird kid,’ you sighed, but still smiled anyway. ‘Well, it doesn’t seem like my school days will get anymore boring!’

Little did you know while Mash Burnedead was following you, he was looking at your back with full of your admiration and respect. ‘My cream puff hero...’

Your not-so-boring days were then filled with a musclehead always yearning for your attention, a very jealous Lemon (and Dot), a normal kid (Lance) and the nicer Ames.

[zapreportsblog]

The Secret Revealed

➥ summary: Mash didn’t think anyone would find out his secret, too bad someone did

➥ a/n: someone once asked me to disclose where I’ve gotten all of my art from for my stories, as well as tag the artists. Sadly, all the pictures I use for my stories, or even the gifs I use come from either Google or Pinterest. Also, I just finished watching this anime so hopefully I got something correct . I appreciate the unwavering support you all have shown me so thank you for reading :)

➥ mashle magic and muscles / mash burnedead x reader

On the outskirts of the majestic city of Evervale, nestled amidst the lush greenery, stood the prestigious Magic Academy, a school renowned for honing the magical abilities of young witches and wizards. Among its students was a young man named Mash Burnedead, who, despite coming from a long line of powerful sorcerers, found himself burdened with a dark secret.

•••

On a bright morning, the school's training grounds were buzzing with students fervently practicing their magical arts. Mash was amidst the crowd, his brow furrowed in concentration as he attempted to conjure a simple levitation spell. But no matter how hard he tried, the faintest glimmer of magic eluded him, leaving him frustrated and disheartened.

As he practiced, a mysterious figure caught his eye. A girl with captivating eyes and a determined expression was making her way toward him. Mash recognized her as (Y/N), a fellow student he had often seen around the campus.

Feeling a knot forming in his stomach, Mash couldn't help but wonder what she wanted. He had always been a reserved and introverted young man, preferring to keep to himself and avoid unnecessary attention. The prospect of being confronted by someone, especially about his secret, sent his heart racing.

Approaching him, (Y/N) stopped a few paces away, her gaze locked onto his eyes, making him feel exposed and vulnerable. He tried to smile, but it came out more like a nervous twitch.

"You," she said, her voice carrying an unusual mix of curiosity and confidence, "I know your secret."

Mash felt the world around him momentarily freeze. His secret was something he had kept hidden from even his closest friends and family. Panic gripped his heart, and his mind raced through possible scenarios.

"W-What secret?" Mash stammered, his voice barely audible.

The girl's lips curved into a knowing smile, adding to Mash's anxiety. "Don't play innocent with me. I know you have no magic," she said, her tone unwavering.

His secret was out. It felt like the ground beneath him had disappeared, leaving him adrift in a sea of uncertainty. How had she found out? Was she going to expose him to the entire school, ridiculing him for his inability to wield magic?

Feeling cornered, Mash tried to think of a way out. "I-I can explain," he stammered, his mind searching for the right words. "It's not what you think. I just... haven't unlocked my powers yet."

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed by his explanation. "Really?" she retorted, her voice laced with skepticism. "You've been at this school for years, and you still haven't unlocked your magic? Come on, it's time to be honest with yourself."

Mash's shoulders slumped, defeated. The weight of his secret was crushing, and he felt a mix of shame and vulnerability. He had always felt like an outcast, trying desperately to fit in with the magical talents that surrounded him.

Before he could muster the courage to ask her what she intended to do with this newfound knowledge, (Y/N) surprised him with her response. "But I won't tell anyone," she said, her expression softening. "Your secret is safe with me."

Her words were like a lifeline, pulling him from the depths of his despair. Mash was taken aback by her unexpected kindness. He had prepared for the worst, but her understanding and assurance gave him a glimmer of hope.

"Why would you keep my secret?" he asked, unable to hide his astonishment.

(Y/N) gave him a small smile, her eyes full of empathy. "Because I believe that people should be defined by their character, not just their magical abilities. I see more in you than the absence of magic. Let's keep this between us, alright?"

Gratitude flooded Mash's heart, and he nodded earnestly. "Thank you," he whispered, overwhelmed by her generosity.

As she turned to leave, (Y/N) looked back at him one last time, her eyes filled with a newfound respect. "You're welcome," she replied. "But remember, secrets have a way of shaping us. It's up to you to embrace who you are, magic or not."

With those parting words, she walked away, leaving Mash to ponder the unexpected encounter. Little did he know that this chance meeting with (Y/N) would change the course of his life forever, leading him on a journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and the realization that true strength came from within, magic or no magic.

[cuddleswinchester]

published 230,229 words of fanfic this year :)

[jezmatronwrites]

Creative Flex - Monster Mash 2024

As part of the SPOP Creative Flex, I've taken part in the Monster Mash event - a bit of supernatural weirdness for March! Thematic? Not at all! But still a fun chance to try some new creativity. I present.... TOTES PROFESH - a Scorfuma romance. With some twists!

[amrv-5]

Anyway since we are in a celebratory mode I have been thinking about what appeals to me about getting to write Beejhawk (particularly postwar) so hard, and (besides dynamic factors I think are awfully fun) a lot ends up coming back to pace. Something rewarding about getting to go from a tightly written sitcom setting where both form and content are packaged to deliver fast-paced action (sitcommy exchanges of wit, fast-cut shots, multiple plots resolved in 20-odd minutes, surgery being a game of both bodies and jokes per minute, and so on) to getting to stretch time and linger again in both form + content. Nice to get to lean into writing a long scene featuring a comfortable, slow-paced lie in, for example… Getting to play with the new luxury of time…

[merlesrandomstuff]

OSWS Challenge - Sports mashup

Skijumping meets nordic combined

words: 1120

characters: Jiri Konvalinka, Kasperi Valto, Vilho Palosaari, Niko Kytosaho, Radek Rydl

pairing: Jiri Konvalinka x Kasperi Valto

"We're heading to the hill now. The reception has the spare keycard." Jiri read Vilho's message over and over, still unable to process what he was about to do. "Thank you." answered Jiri and left the car he was hiding in for 2h now. He quickly grabbed his stuff and almost ran into the hotel. "I need the keycard for room 170." he said to the receptionist. "Ah you are the friend of the guys from finland?" the receptionist asked. "Yes, yes I am." he answered. "Here's the card." said the receptionist and handed the card over. Jiri smiled, took the card, grabbed his suitcase and walked up the stairs to the first floor.

Arrived on the right floor, he met Radek. "If you want to go to the hill together with the team, you need to be ready soon." said Radek. "I will be." answered Jiri. Jiri opened the room and dropped his suitcase. He put his hoodie back on and took his backpack, before again leaving the room. Jiri stood around, waiting for his teammates. As soon as all of them were ready, they sat down in the bus. Jiri started to nervously fingertap his legs. "Nervous?" asked Radek. Jiri nodded. "But just a little."

At the hill, Jiri put his hood on and immediately went past everyone and was able to reach the crowd unnoticed by Kasperi. He sat down on the ground for a moment. Calming himself down. He was here, finally able to watch his boyfriend jump again. Lahti had been the last time they saw eachother jump as well it had been the first time seeing eachother after they confessed their love to eachother.

During trial round, Jiri cheered for both the czech and finnish team, but tried to remain as unnoticed as possible. During Kasperi's jump he tried to stay calm, but had to smile brightly. This was his boyfriend and the jump looked promising.

As soon as the first round was about to start, he started to get nervous, because meeting Kasperi was just 16 jumpers away. He was scared that Kasperi wouldn't be happy, but on the other hand, he doubted that this was even possible. In his spiral of thoughts Jiri missed a few jumpers, but started to cheer for everyone, but especially his fellow countrymen and Hector. Right before the jumper who started before Kasperi was starting, Jiri went to the changing zone next to the outrun, but hid behind a wall so that Kasperi wouldn't notice him that fast. When Kasperi jumped, Jiri was stressed but screamed a little, because the jump went so well. "Amazing." he thought and watched Kasperi, leaving the outrun, putting his skies down and starting to get changed.

As Kasperi looked ready, Jiri silently walked towards him and covered Kasperi's eyes with his hands. Kasperi froze and didn't move for a moment. "Ji- ji- Jiri?" he asked. Jiri laughed a little, put his hands down and turned Kasperi around. "Yes, here I am." he said and smiled brightly. Kasperi looked at him with wide eyes, too stunned to speak.

"How? What are you doing here?" Kasperi asked and smiled. Jiri smiled back. "Decided to support my boyfriend at such big event." he whispered and wrapped an arm around Kasperi.

Kasperi grabbed his stuff and pulled Jiri around until they reached the team space from team Finland. "What are we doing here?" asked Jiri with a little confusion. Kasperi smiled, put down his stuff, wrapped his arms around Jiri and kissed him passionately.

"I missed you." said Kasperi and caressed Jiri's cheek. "I missed you too. That's why I made this work." said Jiri and smiled. "Didn't you say there was training to do?" asked Kasperi. "There is. But can do it everywhere. And additionally, I told you, because I wanted this surprise to work." said Jiri. "But you would have missed the normal hill comp." said Kasperi. Jiri nodded. "Yes, but now I'm glad I won't." he answered. Kasperi smiled and wrapped his arms around Jiri. "Let's go back, before the others are looking for me." he said and kissed Jiri again. Jiri kissed Kasperi back and smiled into the kiss. "As long as it's your team or team Czechia they'd look for both of us." Jiri said and laughed a little. "They know?" asked Kasperi. Jiri nodded. "Wouldn't have been possible without them knowing. And I had to promise the coaches to train with our team." he said. "So they accept us?" asked Kasperi. "I mean, I didn't really tell the czech team, but I guess they are able to put two and two together and as far as I know, they don't care about it." answered Jiri and smiled. "Good, let's go now."

When they came back, they met Vilho. "Kasperi, you have to get ready for second round." he said and smiled brightly. Kasperi looked at him in shock. "I made it?" he asked. Vilho nodded. "Team Finland will likely completely end up in second round." said Jiri, looking at the liveticker. Kasperi still couldn't believe it. He would be in a second round and will jump, again watched by his boyfriend.

After some time, Kasperi found himself back on the bakken, ready to jump. Jiri was looking up, rooting for Kasperi and hoping for another great jump. Jiri jumped up and down and cheered when Kasperi landed. He was incredibly proud of his boyfriend, no matter the end result.

As soon as Kasperi was able to go to Jiri, he almost ran over to him and smiled. Jiri smiled back and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. "I'm so proud of you." said Jiri. Kasperi smiled and wrapped his arms around Jiri. "I'm happy that you are here." said Kasperi.

Suddenly Niko appeared and smiled. "Do you want to occupy the team room? Otherwise I'll go there now." he said and smirked. Jiri and Kasperi grinned and walked to the team room without attracting to much attention. Niko just looked after the boys and laughed. The similarities to other couples in skijumping world were real.

Back in the team room, Kasperi pulled Jiri closer and kissed him with passion. Jiri smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Kasperi. Their hearts were beating in unison and Kasperi felt like the world stood still.

Hours later, they both lied in Kasperi's bed and cuddled, silently admiring the presence of the other. "I couldn't think of anything better than being with you and having you cheer for me." said Kasperi and kissed Jiri's cheek. "I love you. And I'll never stop cheering for you." said Jiri and placed one hand at Kasperi's cheek. "I love you too." said Kasperi and kissed Jiri passionately.

[localhornist]

Staring at the mirror in front of him, Mordred slowly readjusted his crimson tie, carefully pushing it up to his pale blue collar.

Sighing, he pulled it back and tried again.

And again.

And aga-

“You really aren’t good at that, are you?”

Mordred turned round to where Artoria was standing, similarly formally dressed, along with Saber, who was trying not to chuckle, and not succeeding very well. “Yeah, well, these things are hard.” He grumbled to himself. Artoria just chuckled and walked over, taking the tie and readjusting it, tightening it, which made Mordred almost choke.

“Does it have to be so tight?” He grumbled, struggling for breath as he pulled at his collar. Artoria just chuckled again. “If you want it to look good, yes.” Her smile dropped slightly, however, looking at Mordred. “Are you nervous?” He asked.

“Not too much,” Mordred said quietly, not meeting Artoria’s eye. A hum of clear suspicion brought a sigh from Mordred. “Okay, I am. But, like this is just, new, ya know. And big.”

“You were at mine and Iri’s wedding. And Saber’s.”

“Yes, well, yours and mum’s was different, and so was Saber’s! I wasn’t as… involved, back then.”

“Don’t worry,” Artoria put a hand on Mordred's shoulder, giving them a reassuring smile. “You’ll be fine.”

The wonderful family moment was broken up as Arthur rushed into the room, out of breath. “Car’s here!” He yelled.

“Welp.” Saber slapped Mordred on the back, giggling at his reaction. “Here goes nothing, huh?” Mordred sighed, but nodded, giving them both a reassuring smile as they began to walk out. Getting into Morgan’s car, Mordred sighed. Whatever happened, he’d do his best.

That was all that was needed.

~ ~ ~

Mordred slowly tapped the floor with his foot, the sound of the tip of his shoe hitting the hard stone echoing through the grove. Rechecking his watch, he sighed, beginning to pace as the other Pendragons watched with amusement from their seats. All except one honorary member.

“They’ll be on time, don’t worry,” Merlin said from the slight ledge he stood on, rope in one hand and book in the other. “This certainly isn’t something either wants to be late for.”

“I know.” Mordred sighed, finally stopping his pacing to turn to Merlin. “I’m just worr-”

“We’re here!”

A frantic yell cut Mordred off as all turned in to see Gudako, Mash and Cu Culain rush in panting. “Took you three long enough, didn’t it?”

“There was… a lot more traffic… than we’d thought.” Culain barely got out before sitting down, exhausted, careful to keep Gudako’s sword and scabbard away from the ground. Mordred simply rolled his eyes. It was typical, of course.

As Mash and Gudako went to talk to Merlin, Mordred crouched down next to Culain, half watching the three conversing. “You got your lines sorted?” He asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Of course!” Culain replied, nudging Mordred with his elbow and nearly making him fall over. “What about you? Ready to rip into AJ?”

“Oh, I’ve been ready for years.” He shot back, grinning. Gradually more people filtered in, friends and family of both betrothed, beside the closest to the other betrothed. With a clap from Gudako, both boys took their places along with Mash, the latter stood right next to her whilst Culain and Mordred stood slightly to the side. Out of the corner of his eye, Mordred saw movement and turned his head slightly to Merlin. Merlin simply gave a smile, a wink, and a swish of his hand.

And so, the music began.

It was a familiar tune, but also not - a blend of different songs the two betrothed had picked out, flowing and flying through the grove as they waited, watching the opening of the trees. And slowly, the other entered.

AJ was dressed in a purple dress, flowing yet short enough to easily move, offsetting Gudako’s brown and almost shining in the shadow of the trees. Beside her walked her sisters, Jeanne and Lily, dressed in dark blue and light grey respectively, behind which walked Brynhilder, carrying a sword just as Culain did now. As the music rounded out, the second party stood in front of the first, AJ smiling at Gudako, who beamed back. As silence came to the grove again, Merlin stepped forwards, standing between the two parties.

“All of us are here today, to bear witness to something. Something that puts even our great magic to shame. A union. One of body, mind and soul, of spirit and heart, between two people.

And so, according to the traditions of old, of our forests and hills, today we bring them together in their union, so they may go forth not as two bodies, but of one soul.”

All of a sudden, Mash held up a hand, grinning. “I think there's something else first.” She spoke to the crowd gathered. “After all, how do we know this bride is worthy of our groom?”

“We can vouch for her great qualities and deeds with ease!” Lily spoke back, stepping forward to meet Mash. “After all, is it not obvious of all to her magical prowess and skill. Her great feets during the Grail Tournament, or her victory in the Oxford Wizard’s duels? Shouldn’t it be obvious to all her clear skill!?”

“She is kind too!” Brynhildr now spoke up, too, stepping forward with sword and scabbard still in hand. “She is considerate and empathetic, strong against adversity but soft for those in need. She holds love for many and hatred for few. What else can be asked of a wife?”

Jeanne now stepped forward. “And what can you do to ask of us the bride’s qualities, when we still do not know your groom’s?”

“That should be obvious!” Mash spoke back. “Our groom is kind and considerate, empathetic to all. She is also steadfast and strong, facing all adversity like a fortress, gladly by the side of their betrothed!”

Mordred now spoke, meeting the others as he stepped forward. “Our groom’s ability too should be clear! From tournament to tournament, trial to trial, they have met and pushed back at every turn. Even against the bride.” He finished that line with a smug grin, and quickly Culain leapt on the chance, as planned.

“To think of it, how can we know what you say about the bride is true.” He spoke, arms behind his back as he began to circle the group. “After all, how strong can she be if she failed to beat the groom?”

“Especially as that strength is hardly visible,” Mordred loudly muttered, making a show of grabbing AJ’s arm and exaggeratingly pinching it, testing the muscle. “Not really much, is there?” He laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “So then, how are you gonna prove to us you're worthy of the groom?”

There was silence for a moment as Mordred's and AJ's eyes met. Then, she broke the staring contest with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, turning to Brynhild. "So you want me to prove myself, hmm?"

Then, in one fell swoop, she drew the sword.

Light bounced off its silver engravings, dancing across the trees in a mimicry of scenes in the two’s past - conversations and arguments, ups and downs, highs and lows, disagreements and compromises. The crowd watched in awe whilst Mordred stepped to the side, having barely avoided losing part of his nose. The others all looked on as well with a similar mixture of shock.

"What do you say, honey? How about we settle that draw once and for all?"

…

"Hmph, sure."

Gudako grinned back as she drew her own sword from Culain's grasp, similarly decorated but instead in a rich reddened gold, adding to and enriching the scenes wafting through the trees. As she spun the sword in her grasp, the chairs began to glow.

"I might advise everyone to move to the edge of the glade if they don't want to lose any skin or hair," Merlin remarked giddily, a massive grin alluding all too well that he knew of the two’s plan beforehand. As the audience and various best men, ushers and bridesmaids scrambled to get to the edge of the clearing, the chairs disappeared, giving the two the entire area as an arena. Slowly, a slight glow grew across both.

"Now then," Merlin began, stepping down and between the two. "Rules are, once one of these shields detects a hit that would otherwise mean you are out, you lose. They will protect you from any and all damage, so fight as you like. Anything else, you two?"

"I have one," AJ spoke, loud enough that the whole glade could hear. "If I win, you will take my surname. And vice versa, of course."

"Gladly," Gudako shot back, "I've always thought Fujimaru would suit you."

Merlin coughed, bringing attention back to himself. "Now then! Positions!"

The two took opposing ends, adopting stances all too similar to the Grail tournament just a decade ago. Gudako drew her sword under her left arm, one hand on the puter flat side, whilst AJ held it to the right of the face, two fingers on the guard. As the two stood, staring down one another, Merlin slowly strode back to the altar, facing back at the two and casting one more spell, surrounding the glade just in front of the spectators in a spell-deflecting dome. Then he held his right hand above his hand, and…

"BEGIN!"

There was no delay. The silence that once filled the air was broken apart by a cacophony of yells and spells, opening with a bolt of lightning smashing into jet-black fire. Then, the swords met, and the dance began.

One could only describe it like watching two ballet dancers adorned with fireworks, as blade met blade and spell met spell. Fire, ice, lightning, rock, all fell upon one another as they danced. In and out, then in once more, like waves smashing against the shore only to retreat once more, to prepare to attack or their own defence.

One, two, three, four, the minutes dragged on, and the battle raged to the tempo of great blasts of power. But the two were only human, and humans can only endure for so long. The beat began to fall, the rhythm slowed, and all of a sudden, it dropped entirely.

The two stood panting, once again at opposing ends, neither having gained nor lost ground against the other. As they stood, a spark seemed to ignite in Gudako's eyes, and a silent understanding seemed to pass between the two. Standing straight, she drew her sword to her face, and began to speak.

"Ere ana fermona, anda oreta ema…"

Jeanne and Mordred gasped in sync. Jeanne, however, found her voice first. “Is… is that?”

“Yeah. AJ’s ace.” Mordred responded in awe. The spell that had pulled its namesake from the edge of crushing defeat, it seemed, would now face them in this final battle. The telltale amber red fire grew in a circle around her, before bursting from the sword, wrapping around her in a light coating. She grinned at her beloved, who took up a defensive stance. Sword held up to the left.

And, with a swing, Gudako was off.

All anyone could see was a trail of flames darting across the clearing before suddenly smashing into AJ, only to be pushed back by AJ’s own deflection. It would be only a second before it would snake round and back, however, smashing back again and again and again, only to be deflected once more each time. The audience watched with bated breath, as AJ grew closer and closer to the centre. Then, Gudako made a lap of the arena and, as AJ stared her dow-.

-she charged.

A blast of heat shook the area, air pushing back the trees even as the dome held the flames back. They licked at the sky, rising up, and quickly fell back, to reveal-

-Gudako and AJ, swords locked to either’s face.

…

…

“You know,” AJ remarked, “Fujimaru d’arc doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Yeah,” Gudako nodded, “I agree.”

“WE HAVE A DRAW!” Merlin yelled excitedly, the dome falling back as the two drew away their swords and exchanged them. Gudako giggled. “Your sword is certainly heavier than mine.”

“Well, I’ve always had a heavier hand.” As if to prove her point, she took Gudako’s left hand in her right, and the two walked up to the altar Merlin stood in front of, as the audience began to file back into the centre of the clearing, the best men and bridesmaids once again taking to the front. 

“Now then,” Merlin addressed the various best men and bridesmaids, “Does anyone still wish  for proof of either’s worth?” As a symphony of resounding “No”s filled the glade, Merlin nodded, and from the altar floated a collection of thin coloured ropes. As the rope snaked along their connected hands, AJ spoke. 

“Gudako, when we first met, we didn’t get along. Like, at all.” That gained her many laughs. As she continued, she began to choke on her words, as tears began to form. “But, soon things changed. You helped me drag my sorry self from one of the darkest parts of my life, and for that, I will never be able to thank you enough. Nor can I thank you enough for staying by my side, and taking me for everything that I can. All I can do is give you is this promise - from now until my eternal soul leaves this earth, I will stand by your side and offer you everything that I am, no matter what may come to face us both.”

Gudako nodded and the words, wiping her own tears from her face as she took a shaky breath. “I, I can definitely agree with you. Our start was anything but the best.”

“But, as time went on, I got to see who you were behind your walls. And, well, I fell in love with it. All of it, from your greatest strengths to your most crushing flaws. I couldn’t help it - behind your shadows, you were brighter than the sun. And since then, all I’ve wanted to do is bathe in your warmth. And I promise that I will love you, on your sunny days and on those when I cannot see you through the storm. Because I know that, after your rainy days, you will always come to grant me a rainbow.”

Merlin flicked his fingers, and in his hand manifested two rings, a weave of reddened gold and silver making up both, bands weaving between one another. “Gudako, do you take Anjela, to be your partners in life, through its greatest ups and most crushing downs.” As he said so, one of the rings floated across to her, and she took it in the palm of her free hand. “I do.”

“And Anjela, do you take Gudako to be your partner in life, through its greatest ups and most crushing down.” AJ, too, took the other ring, and nodded. “I do.”

“Now then! With the exchange of these rings,” the two each fixed the ring on the other, “I pronounce the two of you officially wife and wife!”

A grand chorus of cheers rocked the grove as Gudako immediately pulled AJ into a kiss, eliciting a snicker from Mordred, who leaned into Jeanne’s side. “I knew your sister was a bott-” A quick smack on the back of the head finished his sentence. “Hey, I was joking!”

As the two clapped with everyone else, and as both Gudako and AJ walked through the middle of the crowd, laughing and crying tears of joy at once, Jeanne instead nudged Mordred. “You know, you certainly seemed shocked by how powerful those two were. Don't worry,” she leaned in close to his ear, so the whisper he only would hear.

“I’ll go easy on you when it's our turn.”

[vikuo-kuma]

Hi can I request? About Mashle and reader (genderless) like here's the scenerio.

So like the reader isn't familiar with the school and saw a group of people and it's mash friend group and the reader, then go ask mash where's the kitchen so the reader could bake and stuffs. Then Mash pointed and then yatta yatta and when Mash was alone he remembered the reader and went to the kitchen to see what the reader is up to, he then saw the reader baking a lot of pastries for friends and self.

Cupcakes and Sweets 🍭

A/N: I'm in pain while writing this, literally. 😔

—

Aimlessly, you traverse the corridors, trying to look for something specific. You weren't really familiar with the school yet, so getting lost was an easy thing to do. Slowly but surely you were getting tired from aimlessly walking around. You had visited literally everywhere but the kitchen. "Where the heck is the kitchen?", grumbling under your breath, your craving for sweets grew.

"It's like the kitchen grew legs and started running from me or something", your mood changed to one of an angry person.

"Also, where is everyone?", thinking that you could've asked someone for help. Your face puffed up all pouty. As you continued to walk, you saw a group of people up a head, quickly bringing up your mood. “Hey! I’m in need of help!”, shouting to the group, trying to get their attention. A seemingly dark haired male turned his head towards your voice.

“Who are you?”, he asked with a monotone voice, while tilting his head in confusion. The male stared at you blankly, trying to see if he could remember a person like you. “Well, I’m Y/N L/N and I’m trying to find where the kitchen is”, you huffed after running towards his direction.

“And well.. I’m kind of lost”, awkwardly looking away from the boy’s eyes. “Oh. Well it’s where you came from, you just missed the door”, he answered blankly, staring at the stranger person. You turned around and saw a sign hanging up below the door he pointed towards. The sign read in large letters Kitchen. Your jaw dropped, you had passed by this door multiple times already before the dark haired male had pointed it out.

Shaking your head, you turned your attention back towards the male. “Thank you so much!”, unconsciously, you hugged the boy with much gratitude and ran towards the kitchen door. What a strange girl, not as strange as Lemon though. The dark haired male blankly stared at your retreating form.

Wait. Just then the dark haired male realized that he hadn’t introduced himself to you. Oops.

—

At last, you were able to bake a few delectables and was still baking a few more things. However you were very busy in fact, you didn’t notice a familiar male standing at the entrance of the kitchen. He was just stopping by to check up on you, but caught a scent of baked pastries, making his mouth water.

You had a weird feeling that someone was watching you, so you looked towards the door and was met with the same dark haired male drooling while staring at the sweets on the counter.

“You want some?”, The boy nodded, entering the kitchen fully to try one of your many sweets you had baked.

Safe to say that he had fell in love with you after trying one bite.

—

Note: Doom soon, then Kaldo 😔🙏

[opaleyedprince]

the fics i will be posting to my ao3 this summer are absolutely wild tbh

[lyralit]

ways to start writing more efficiently

stop writing with the word count on!

use a font like comic sans -- trick your brain into thinking that it's not important, that the writing can be stupid, if it's in a stupid font (if you can't tell i despise comic sans)

time yourself to get to a goal

or give yourself a certain amount of time

quantity >> quality in the first draft(s)!

jot down what you want to happen in that chapter

try organizing your writing (nanowrimo, for example)

do *not* reread! it doesn't need to make sense, it just needs to be there

try not to stick yourself to something you saw on tumblr. what works for someone else doesn't necessarily work for you!

take breaks. time those breaks.

practice writing short stories / oneshots of your characters.

try getting all your writing done within a certain goal (as much as I can for 30 minutes) rather than writing 5 minutes on or off

write down every little wormy idea that comes into your brain! sure, it's probably for a different plot, but maybe you can work it in somehow?

on that note, mash elements of your plots together rather than starting a whole new story

see maybe what little writing competitions you can submit your work to

proclaim your goal to the wide web for some peer pressure

rewards yourself. cheer on every thousand-word milestone. brag to your friends that you've written something, anything.

don't think of the big goal—don't think of publishing, or posting, etc. think of the end of your chapter, the development of your character, where it goes.

switch your writing environment! where are you most productive?

make a playlist only for when you write. never for anything else.

getting off tumblr, probably.

have people remind you of your goals.

remember that it all comes with discipline, but also your mental health is the most important!! don't sacrifice half your sleep to meet your nanowrimo goals. try to recognize when it's taking you too long and close the document. do something else. come back later.

take care of yourself. <3 use this post as a breather (or reminder to start!)

[sunstormrecs]

ship Lee Minho | Lee Know/Park Seonghwa

tags Canon Compliant, Chatting & Messaging, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Coming Out, Awkward Flirting, Implied Phone Sex, Kissing, Hand Jobs

summary Knowing he liked boys before he ever auditioned, Minho has always planned to keep that part of himself a secret. Dating as an idol under contract is sticky enough as it is; adding homosexuality to the mix is just asking for trouble.

Of course his members figured it out pretty quickly, but it's not like Minho doesn't have just as much dirt on them. Not to mention it's in all their best interests to keep potentially scandalous information like this on the down-low.

It's not like it matters anyway. Because Minho decided long ago he's not going to remotely entertain any romantic relationships until well after his career is over.

But then he didn't factor in meeting someone like Park fucking Seonghwa.

//

Prompt: Minho's done a pretty good job of keeping his sexuality a secret, content to shove it down to focus on his career and protect his group. But when Park Seonghwa blatantly hits on him and asks him out he's suddenly ready to risk it all.

[carolmunson]

i'm the best thing at this party | e.m.

up and coming rockstar!eddie munson x girlfriend!reader (is that a picture of slash? sure, but we can pretend it isn't.) aka the first time carol ever wrote a fic based off a taylor song. but in my defense, it was a chase petra cover of 'you're losing me' that inspired it. this is not connected to my rockstar!eddie x actress!reader storyline, this is it's own oneshot in a separate story.

in the early 90s, when your boyfriend's band starts to make it in the big leagues, you start to come to terms with the fact that he might not want or need a small town player anymore. eighteen plus. established relationship. angst. hurt/no comfort-ish. open ending.

"and i'm fading, thinkin': 'do something, babe. say somethin'. lose somethin' babe, risk something. choose somethin' babe. i got nothin' to believe, unless you're choosing me.'"

The Hideout was hot with all the bodies packed in like sardines; stark contrast to the icy chill of winter outside. Glowing on the screen was The Tonight Show, everyone’s eyes glued to it while Corroded Coffin made their first national televised debut. 

No one’s totally sure how their manager Richie was able to finesse this slot – but they went to New York to film earlier in the week and didn’t ask any questions. With Richie, it's better to not ask questions and just let it happen. Eddie came home with an adrenaline rush so intense that he barely slept for three days. No matter how much you tried to keep him in bed and tire him out. 

And sure, it was hard to have him be gone while you drove out to Indy and took a friend to see the new graffiti art exhibit that came in from LA when it was supposed to be with him. It was hard to have him miss a lot of things. His return from the city only started another big talk about it, one you've been having every few months the last two years. Even so, you couldn’t help but be proud of him, proud of all of them. Remembering that just four years ago they were barely getting fifteen people in here to see them play when you first started dating. 

The crowd erupts when the camera comes off of the band on the stage and back to Leno at his desk, the boys in real life all standing on the bar. You look up at Ed and smile, he finally did it, he’s doing it. The contracts are signed, the people saw him, he’s gonna make it. He’s making it. 

You duck out of the way when they start to spray champagne over everyone by the bar, “Not my hair, babe!” 

The two  bartenders pour shots of Jameson and flutes of Prosecco while the show cuts to commercial and it’s not long before you feel the sticky chest of your boyfriend up against your shoulder, “It was good? I did good?” 

“Ed you’re…you’re fuckin’ famous,” you grin, “You’re fuckin’ famous!”

You follow while he leads you through the crowd, settled in near the back where the stage doors lead to the dressing room and out into the parking lot. He looks over his shoulder twice before he sneaks you both behind the amps; heart pounding when he leans you up against the painted cinder block walls, noses mashing when he takes your lips in his. It’s feverish, desperate when he pulls at your hips, one arm wrapped around your mid back to keep you steady up against him.

“Lemme – mmm – lemme take you to the green room,” he breathes between kisses, moving your hand toward the bulge in his jeans, “C’mon I wan–” 

“The interview’s up!” Jeff calls from on top of the bar. 

“Where’s Ed? ED? Come on! The interview’s up!” Gareth calls, the crowd erupting in a cheer of ‘Edd-ie, Edd-ie, Edd-ie!’

“Come on, come on!” you squeal, pulling away to pull him toward the front of the bar again, “You said they were gonna cut it!”  

“It’s stupid, babe,” he assures, “It’s so dumb.” 

“Ed, you’re being interviewed by Leno, this isn’t stupid,” you urge, “This is like – this is it.” 

“It’s literally like two minutes, it’s not special,” he doesn’t move when you pull him along with you, a frown pulling on your lips. 

“Eddie,” your voice raises an octave, tugging on his hand – he lets go. 

“I’m gonna take a leak,” he shrugs, heading toward the green room while you watch him disappear behind the door. Your brows furrow slightly, but it doesn’t stop you from making your way back to the edge of the bar where everyone’s eyes are glued to the medium sized screen in the corner. 

The crowd cheers again while the band is re-introduced, Eddie and Jeff sitting on the chairs with Gareth and Grant standing behind them. You admire the way your boyfriend looks post performance, nearly glittering with sweat but glowing with pride – with accomplishment. You look over your shoulder to see if he’s back from the bathroom yet, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

“So we got a group of some – what looks like – nice, respectable hard core guys,” Jay smiles. 

“I don’t know about respectable,” Eddie scrunches his nose back at the host. 

“I don’t know about nice, either,” Jeff jokes. You marvel at how relaxed and natural they all look on camera, cracking wise and getting laughs from the audience. They talk about the album briefly, and the front cover which has all four boys in caskets with a red kiss print on their cheeks. 

“So, the debut is self titled, Corroded Coffin – but it looks like you all got a coffin kiss here,” he points out, “These from anyone special? You got the girls going crazy.” The audience erupts in cheers and screams, a bra finding its way flung into the sound stage. You giggle when Gareth and Grant  hold it up, making them both blush pink on the screen. 

“Well I got a girl at home, so, I don’t hear any screamin’ if it’s not her cheering for me,” Jeff’s smile is bright when the camera focuses on him and he winks into the lens. Sasha, Jeff’s girlfriend, screeches in the crowd of The Hideout. 

“You didn’t tell me you were gonna do that!” she beams, and your heart thunders while you watch them kiss on the bar. The promise ring that he gave her back in ‘88 shines on her ring finger, awaiting something much more flashy when that first big rockstar payday hits.

“It’s definitely a change of pace,” Grant nods on the screen, “Definitely wasn’t getting a lot of girls in high school.” 

“It’s wild,” Gare laughs. 

“And what about you, Munson,” Jay asks, “Frontman like you’s gotta be beating them off with a stick.” 

The camera focuses on him, his pink lips and smart grin, a flash of teeth before he starts talking. He’s so handsome, you feel your fingers and toes start to tingle when he opens his mouth.You weren’t expecting to hear your name on national television, or be alluded to. You’d never really prepared yourself for something like this. To be declared to thousands, maybe millions, as a rockstar girlfriend.

You swallow the nervous spit pooling in your mouth, heart pattering while you run through all of the scenarios of the outcome of being ‘announced’ in your head.  

“I don’t kiss and tell, Jay,” he smirks.

Oh.

Your hearing clouds and your vision blurs – unsure of what you just heard. If maybe you imagined it, but that proves to be untrue when you feel a few sets of eyes on you. A moment of silent confusion lulls on the crowd at the bar.

You swallow the lump in your throat, fingers and toes cold now while the blood rushes to your heart and head, to your lungs which suddenly forgot how to work. Through teary eyes you look around, drowned out by the cheers of the bar when Jay announces when the album will release. You sniffle, trying to hold it back – but there he is in the back of the crowd now, eyes rounded; pleading, looking straight at you. 

The tears spill over and you try to catch your breath as you make your way through the bodies on your way to the front door. You hear Gareth call after you, hearing him stumble over the barstools while he hops off the counter. Another ragged intake of breath shakes through you while you get closer to the sticker covered door, pushing through the first set and then the other into the dark blue night. Your breath puffs white in front of you, coat abandoned somewhere back inside The Hideout while you walk across the street to your car. 

You fumble with the keys, blubbering while you get the engine started and the radio blares Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together part way through the song. In the rear view you see him hustle out of the bar to search for you, catching the start of your car and getting to the passenger window before you can pull away. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” he strains, his fingers hanging on the edge of the half open glass, “I promise it’s not what you think. Richie asked me to answer like that, it wasn’t on purpose.” 

You press slightly on the gas, making the car lurch forward and inch.

“Wait! Please don’t – don’t just go,” he begs, voice breaking with desperation, “We can talk about it.” 

You look at him through wet eyes, the street lights haloing behind his head to feign his innocence. He can talk himself out of anything.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you rasp out quietly, “We’ve done enough talking.” 

“I can…please don’t go,” he says again, “Not with you crying like this, c’mon. Don’t leave.” 

“I’m gonna go home, Ed,” you sniffle, “J-just go h-have fun inside. S’too cold to be out here.” 

“You don’t have your coat,” he states, “Come back in and get it. We can talk in the back, please.” 

“I don’t need my coat,” you garble out, “I’m going h-home.” 

“Well I’ll – I’ll bring it to you tomorrow morning,” he nods needily, “Okay? Is that okay?” 

You let out a shaky breath, fogging again against your windshield, “F-fine.” 

Eddie cracks a weak but winning smile, “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” 

“I love you,” he adds. It tastes like ash in your mouth. You pull away before you feel compelled to say it back. 

Eddie show’s up in the morning with coffee and your coat, a small carton of donut holes for you both to share. He’s all smiles, seeing you in the kitchenette cleaning out the coffee pot that you now no longer have to fill. 

“Morning, baby,” he grins, “I brought your coat.” 

“Thanks,” you mutter, keeping your eyes on the droplets of water that race down the side of the glass pout, “You can just hang it on the hook.” 

“Are you…are you still upset with me?” his voice is airy, surprised while he makes his way behind you. Calloused hands reach around to pull your back in his chest, nose nuzzling against your cheek. Your stomach rolls, bile inching up the base of your throat. 

“Enough, Ed,” you sigh, pulling out of his hold. 

“Sweetheart, c’mon,” he huffs, “I told you already. I didn’t want to say that. But you know how Richie is! He just wants what’s best for the band and so do I! Don’t you? I thought you’d understand.” 

“Jeff had no problem talking about Sasha,” you do your best to measure your tone, too early to start yelling. 

“Jeff has the wholesome thing going for him; plus – you know his family isn’t for him being considered like, a rogue or whatever. He’s already in a metal band,” Eddie explains, like this is a totally normal conversation, “Richie even said this morning that he was getting a lot of calls.” “Okay,” you nod, sitting down at the small table in your kitchen where your coffee sits. 

“And like, a lot of people wanna do interviews with us and get hype up for the release,” he half smiles, sitting down across from you, “I told you, it was…it was a good thing. They were saying y’know like, mysterious bad boy front man is a good angle.” 

“Great.” 

“It doesn’t…babe, it doesn’t mean we can’t be together,” he leans forward, hand reaching out to touch yours. His shoulders sulk when you put them both under the table. 

“Ed I –” you let out a breath, eyes tracing a pattern on the waxed canvas tablecloth, “I can’t even look at you right now. And you wanna tell me we can still be together?” 

“What like it’s…some consolation prize?” you choke out, “You made a fool out of me. The looks I got?”   

“I know, I know, but it was for the band. You know how I feel abo—“ 

“How you feel about me?” you hold back a bitter laugh. 

“Ed, the last year or so we have kept having the same conversation over and over again. You are so, so caught up in Corroded and making it and getting there and trust me I am so proud of you. If there is anyone on the planet who is more proud than me maybe it’s Wayne, but – this is just like, this is kind of it. We have nowhere to go from here.” 

He’s quiet for a moment, his brown eyes rounding and brows tilting slightly when he realizes what you’re really saying, “What do you mean no where to go? Are you not listening? I said we can still be together, just like befo–” 

“Before? Before when?” you get up and pace back to the kitchen where he can still see you, “Before when you would cancel dates to go practice? When you missed my awards night for work  because you wanted to fill in guitar for a gig in Ohio? When you didn’t come to my poetry reading with the guys like you said you would and instead got plastered at The Hideout after rehearsal?” 

“Well I apologized for all that, that was all in the past couple years and I – look, I said I was sorry and you accepted that,” his voice raises slightly, he stands up to full height with defense evident in his stance, “You can’t just throw it back in my face.” 

“When you were gone weeks at a time for mini tours, for opening for bands on the East Coast – god, all the work I took off to make sure I was there for you? When you canceled our three year anniversary dinner, without my knowledge, because you got a call for discounted studio time on the same night,” you manage to get out, the tears inching toward the edge of your lash line, “And I sat there at the table in my new dress and everyone looked at me the same way they looked at me last night. Poor girl. Must’ve got stood up. What an idiot.” 

“Yeah well that studio time is why we were on fuckin’ LENO, babe!” he pleads, “Don’t you get that? It’s for us!” 

“It’s for you!” you break, the shrill frustration coming out with your voice, “It’s always just been for you. It’s always about Eddie and the guys. I have done nothing but make sacrifice after sacrifice, excuse after excuse to play the part of perfect, understanding, cool, laidback girlfriend but like fuck Ed, when is it gonna be about me, huh?” He stands there, unsure, cheeks sucking in between his teeth.

“And what’s on the docket for you on Friday? Have any plans?” you ask, your voice softening while you cross your arms over your chest. You lean the small of your back against the counter while you watch him. He clears his throat, hands finding their way into the back pockets of his jeans. 

“Um, we have some meetings in the morning in Indy. And then um, we’re gonna take a late flight out to LA. The label’s excited – they’re really excited,” he breathes out, eyes finding the floor and your sock covered feet.

“Oh, that’s interesting,” you nod, voice still measured, “Since we’ve had the tickets for my niece’s winter school concert on the fridge for over a month. I guess I’ll have to tell her that her favorite bonus teacher couldn’t make it.” 

“Fuck,” Eddie’s eyes shut, pulling his lips in to run his tongue across them while he thinks of what to say next. Your heart thrums in your chest, throat getting tighter and tighter while you hold back a cry – this was just another thing to add to the list.

“I can make it up to her, I promise,” his raspy nicotine voice becoming garbled with desperation, “I can make this all up to you, too. I swear. I wish you had just told me about all of this.” 

“I have, Ed. We are always having the same conversation. I’m tired of having it. I’m so tired of this. Make it up to me? How do you make up for it?” 

“I…” he chokes on his words, ringed fingers running over his face and reaching to pull his hair back off his neck. 

“Go ahead,” you encourage angrily, “What’re you gonna do? Say something. Fucking, do something, Ed!” 

“Baby, I don’t know what to…” he swallows, tears pooling in shiny wells over his eyes, “What do you want me to do? I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.” 

You take a breath through your nose and let it out through your mouth, taking the three steps it takes to get to him. Your hands fall from being crossed, reaching up to cup each of his cheeks. Your thumbs run over the apples and drag softly over the stubble left over from the night before. 

His eyes shut while he keens into your touch, his rough hands covering yours. Calloused fingertips coasting delicately over your knuckles. You know what you have to do, even if his touch makes you want to do the opposite. 

“Go be famous,” you shrug, smiling weakly, “Go be the big rockstar I know you are. Like how you wanted. Go play The Garden and live in LA.” 

Your hands slide down his face, tears falling after them, “Go do all that, and just, um – just leave me alone. Please.” 

“But I don’t–” he starts, pulling in a sharp breath while a cry leaks out of him, “I don’t wanna lose you.” 

“Oh, Ed,” you shake your head while the ache spills over into your own leveled sob, “I’m already lost.” 

“No, please,” he begs, trying to catch your hands as they make it back to your sides, “Please, baby, I’ll fix it. I pro-promise.” 

“There’s nothing left to fix,” you whisper in finality, “You should go.” 

“I don’t want to,” Eddie’s soft pink lips quiver while he speaks, “Please. Please. I can fix it, the next interview, anything, it’ll be all you. I swear I can…I can…” 

When your face doesn’t change he knows there’s no way to pull you from your stance, voice trailing off in defeat. You watch as he rips open your storm door and goes to his van, his chest and back shaking with sobs that make the hardware on his jacket cry with him.

A year passes and you are not surprised when you find out that Corroded Coffin has made the cover of Rolling Stone. Wayne bought every copy from the gas station at the end of the road and put them in every mailbox early that morning. You don’t think there’s been a day in the last year that Wayne wasn’t seen beaming ear to ear; his boy finally getting everything he wanted. 

Life had gotten easier now that you weren’t regularly expecting disappointment. You went on few dates here and there, just trying to navigate your life after spending four years sharing it with someone else. Some nights were colder than others, but it was better than the frigidness you felt that night at the bar.

You did your best to avoid the tabloids – Eddie was certainly doing just fine navigating his life as a bachelor; some new model or actress on his arm every other month it seemed. Hardrock’s Resident Playboy. It stung the first time you saw it, and a little less each time after – heart breaker to the core; you would know, you were the blueprint.

In the same cold that matched the night at The Hideout a year prior; you sat on your steps wrapped in a robe – morning cigarette between your fingers. 

“Morning,” Wayne’s voice is gravelly when it sounds over you, still soaked with left over sleep. 

“Mornin’ Wayne,” you smile, taking a sip of the steaming cup of coffee in your other hand. 

“Wanted to uh, to let you know that the guys are playin’ a show in the city tonight. I could uh – I could get you a ticket if y–” 

“That’s sweet of you Wayne,” you smile tightly, “But I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“He might like to see you,” he shrugs. He hadn’t quite gotten over the break up the way you and Eddie had, convinced that this was the real deal – that he was watching young love flourish into something bigger. 

“He’s seeing someone, Wayne,” you take a drag of your cigarette, “Why would he want to see his ex-girlfriend who still lives in Hawkins? He’s got some actress girl now, right?” 

Wayne shrugs again, scratching at the back of his neck, “I never know what that boy’s got goin’ on in California outside of shows and gettin’ into trouble. Maybe he is seeing some girl but, y’know, seein’ an old friend could be good for him.” 

“He’s still got plenty of friends here he can see,” you let the smoke out to drift off in the gentle wind rustling through the line of trailers and mobile homes, “I don’t think I need to be one of them.” 

“Well, they’re gonna have a small after party at The Hideout tomorrow,” he offers, “Even if you just wanna do somethin’ fun. I never see you goin’ out anymore.” 

You laugh, “You work at night, what do you mean you don’t see me goin’ out anymore? I go out plenty.” 

His eyes linger on you, enough to encourage a thoughtful sigh – you might as well humor him. 

“I’ll think about it, okay?” you toss your half finished cigarette onto the browned grass before looking back up at him.

“Okay,” he smiles, eyes sparkling as he makes his way back inside. 

You spend the next day deliberating between making it to the bar or not, putting in the effort to get ready and showing up. Why bother? Just to sit awkwardly in the corner while everyone flocks to the boys and tells them how great they are? They already know they’re great, they’re crawling higher and higher up the ladder. 

You haven’t even talked to Eddie since the morning he left your trailer, and Wayne knows that. He knows how bad you hurt his nephew because he came over to talk to you a week after Eddie went to California and stayed for good. ‘So why should I show my face there? So I can relive the moment he made a fool of me over again?’ You think while the hot water of the shower glides over your shoulders and down your chest. 

‘Maybe it’ll be good to make amends or something, I at least owe it to the guys,’ you figure silently while you slather on some moisturizer at the bathroom sink. And you did – not seeing Eddie meant not seeing the rest of the band. Gareth, Jeff, and Grant were your friends too, and you sort of broke up with them in the same instance. Sasha moved out to California with them soon after – it would be nice to catch up at least. You hadn’t seen her since that night. 

‘But why would I want to bother? So I can see that engagement ring on her finger and hear her talk about her wedding plans?’ you swallow sourly while you use a touch of your lipstick as blush on the apples of your cheeks. ‘Remember all the times you thought you and Ed were gonna get married? Hilarious.’ 

Before you know it, it’s 11:30 and you’re standing outside of the sticky and stickered covered door of The Hideout. Even from where you’re standing the bar is a buzz like a hive, energy inside like a livewire when you get into the entryway, showing your ID to the bouncer at the inside door. 

‘Small after party my ass, Wayne,’ you think to yourself when you get in, shrugging off your coat. There was barely room to move and most of the lights were off or dimmed aside from the small stage in the back. By the looks of it, they must’ve played a small set – an intimate ‘home base’ concert for the real hometown fans. You push through some of the crowd, acrid smoke haze hovering over the room. A single bar stool sits empty at the end of the counter close to the wall and before you can think about it, you beeline straight there before someone else can grab it. Not that anyone would be able to see it through the six couples making out to Slayer blasting through the speakers. 

The bar tender notices you soon after, coming over to get your order while his two cohorts speedily pour shots and mix drinks. You almost don’t want to get anything just to make the night easier, but opt for a beer instead. 

“How much?” you ask over the music. 

“WHAT?” the bartender shouts, holding a hand to his ear. 

“HOW MUCH?” you yell back. 

“ON THE HOUSE. BAND IS COVERING DRINKS,” he shouts back. You take a few dollars out while he pours your beer anyway, sliding it across the bar with a smile. He smiles back, pocketing the ones with a wink before helping another person leaning over the bar. 

The TV takes your attention, a tape of their recent interviews and music videos playing on a loop with no sound. The beer is almost comforting as it passes over your tongue, it’s been some time since you just sat in a busy bar – and for the most part, no one here even knows you. For the most part. 

A call of your name snaps you back to reality, looking around to see exactly who you thought you would. Sasha. And low and behold a ring sparkles bright on her finger, a breathtakingly big diamond glittering in the neon lights behind the bar. 

“Hey!” you call back with a smile, sick crawling up your throat. You watch as she fights the crowd to get over to you, wrapping you in a tight hug while you stay seated on the stool. 

“How have you been? You look gorgeous,” Sasha’s tan skin glows back orange in green while the lights change, tight dark curls bouncing prettily around her face. 

“I’ve been good!” you nod, your voice hardly sounds like your own, “Y’know just – hanging around Hawkins. How’s LA? How’ that ring?!” 

She holds her hand out so you can really see it, her skin is warm in yours while you take her fingers. It’s more beautiful up close, the marquise diamond flanked by two smaller triangles in perfect harmony. 

“He did so good, Sash,” you giggle. 

“I slapped his arm so hard when I saw it,” she laughs, “I said, ‘Jeff we could’ve bought a freakin’ house!’ but you know how he is.” 

“I do, I do,” you nod, “Did you set a date?” 

“Probably not for another year or so if we do a big wedding,” she shrugs, “Maybe a little longer? We think it’s smart to actually buy a house first – with this kind of money coming in. And y’know, the industry is, uh, well, it can be wishy washy. What’s in today could be out tomorrow. We wanna be smart.” 

“Well thank god he’s marrying someone like you then,” you tease. 

“That’s true,” she beams, “Do the guys know you’re here? I can go grab J–”

“No, no, they don’t,” you interrupt, taking her arm gently while she turns to leave, “You don’t have to tell them I’m here. I’ll go find them, I promise.” 

Sasha gives you a half hearted smile, “Okay. Well – We’re sitting over by the stage if you wanna come say hi to the guys. Gareth would lose his mind, and Grant brought his new girl with him, she’s so cool. They met in LA and she’s like, got the sickest punky-goth type of thing about her.” 

“I love that he’s in love,” you gush. 

“Me too,” she nods, “The girls are obsessed with him out there.” 

There’s a silence, but it’s knowing – still one person yet to have been mentioned but you both seem to understand it’s not worth bringing it up. Sasha reminds you that they’re by the stage, giving her a wave while she disappears in the throngs of people in the crowd. 

Half way through your second beer and a couple of random conversations with people later, you see him in glimpses while people pass by. You can tell by the smirk on his face that he’s flirting, and when more people move and re-disperse, settling, you see glimpses of her, too. Some cute young looking thing, you wouldn’t be surprised if it was her twenty-first birthday. All doe eyed and giggly while he leans over her against the wall near the booths. I guess whoever he’s seeing in California isn’t too important.

He looks good, healthy, you can tell his clothes are tailored now – sort of comical that a tailor would fit and adjust ripped jeans and an old leather jacket. Not that he has to know you think it’s funny. 

Eddie leans forward and lets his finger tap her on the nose, a tell-tale sign of his that they’ll kiss later. He’s used that move on you more times than you can count. He did it the night you met, tipsy at a party at Gareth’s – tapped you on the nose, making you scrunch it. 

‘Aw, if I knew you’d make a face like that I would’ve booped you way earlier.’ 

‘What do you mean? What face?’ You scrunch again. 

‘That face,’ he bites his lower lip, blush on his cheeks, ‘It’s a cute face.’

You expected it to hurt more, to watch him active in his element; but it doesn’t. You know the motions, you know his tells, he next move. You can see it in the way he leans into her and then leans away – almost kissing her, but leaving her wanting more. You smirk into your next sip, counting down the moments until he puts their conversation on pause to do their rounds and finding her again later. Gotta keep her yearning, you guess. He certainly was always good at things like that. 

You don’t see their reunion, you assume it was somewhere near the stage where the band and Sasha were. At the end of the night, the boys play a goodnight mini-set, just three songs. You’d never seen Ed so in his zone in your life, fully basking in the glow of upcoming stardom. Every chord and every lyric punching out of him like the sweat pouring from his hairline and chest. This was what you wanted, what you told him to do. 

Go be famous. And here he was. Famous. Just like you said he would be. 

Water takes the place of your beer while they play; and you know better than to get up and join the crowd. Much happier sitting at the end of the now more empty bar just listening instead of getting potentially punched or tussled with amongst the bodies. 

People take their time leaving when the set is over, shrugging on their coats to brave the cold weather. 

‘Thanks for comin’ out to celebrate with us – now get the fuck out so our buddies at the bar can go home before four!’ 

You savor the conversations and music settling down to a much quieter murmur while you sketch on a napkin. A few people you shared niceties with tap your shoulder to say goodbye, new friends you’ll never see again. On the other end of the bar you hear Grant and his girl order a round of shots. Your head almost pops up at the sound of his voice, but that might bring attention to you that you don’t think you really want. Now that the night is over, you’re glad you came. If anything, just to see that they were making it just fine – and they would have with or without you. 

With less people in the bar you can hear Sasha’s laugh in the back where the stage is, and you laugh into your napkin turned sketchpad. Her laugh was always infectious, enough to make the crowd follow suit. You grab a fresh napkin from the pile next to you and start to doodle again while you figure out how to best leave without anyone catching wise that you’re here. Out of the last twenty people left at the bar, a little more than half knew who you were.

The tap of the pen on the bar top while you think blends in with the tinkling of hardware that gets a little louder the closer it gets to you. A squish of leather and drag of a barstool later makes you privy that someone’s next to you. Spiced cologne and sweat sheened skin. 

“You come here often?” 

Slowly, you turn your head – level with brown eyes you haven’t looked in for a year, just in the glossy pages of magazines you’d leave behind at the grocery store or Melvald’s. 

“I used to,” you offer a quiet tired smile, leaning your chin on your hand on the bar, “It’s been a while.” 

Eddie smiles back, soft, cautious, “Yeah, same for me.” 

You both don’t speak for a moment, adjusting yourselves on the barstools while a few more people head out to leave. The jingle of the door fades out, crunches of the parting patrons’ sneakers and boots in the snow sound outside.

He clears his throat, bringing your attention back to him – the curls of his hair, the slight stubble on his jaw and cheeks. His bottom lip tucks between his teeth for a moment before he turns his chest toward you. 

“Can I uh, can I get you a drink?”