#MEATBALL PUSSY?

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

SOLLUX: ii had a really bad miigraiine la2t niight, but iive run out of everythiing except the2e "beforan" paiin kiiller2 my lu2u2 gave me four 2weep2 ago. anyway ii dont remember anythiing and ii cant feel my tongue and the only thiing iin my 2earch hii2tory ii2 thii2

SOLLUX: anyway can 2omeone driive me two the ho2piital

ARADIA: what state are y0u in?

SOLLUX: pretty bad

ARADIA: Y0UR L0CATI0N

[paper-r-i-n-g-s-and-c-r-o-w-n]

i thought it was canon that if simon and reader had a dog/pet it would be named riley and he would in fact hate that you named it that

[catscidr]

yall i blacked out and then woke up to this….. what is this…. who was so desperate to have more dottore x y/n that they drew more….. that’s crazy….

[littlealeta]

And you wonder why I like Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs better because it at least had the intelligence to teach people that being codependent and letting selfish people take advantage of you is WRONG. And that movie is for fucking KIDS. This show is for fucking adults and they are feeding them this toxic bullshit.

Sure the show was always mean-spirited but it was more like a fun entertainment show and the characters learned not to give in to whatever the selfish protagonist says. And it didn't have any messages to tell. Now it's trying to shove in the message that it's okay to be toxic because you will always get your way. Or that it won't matter in the end because people will forgive you for it and not call you out on it. And now it adds in that you should cater to what other toxic people say because it makes you a better person.

And this is exactly what we see in Rick and Morty's characters now. Morty constantly forgiving and giving into Rick's selfish desires, Rick doing the same thing with not just him but his entire family. And to all you people that say this is healthy, this is a show about a TOXIC FAMILY. Not a WHOLESOME FAMILY. If you're following whatever bullshit your toxic family asks from you, you're just as toxic. You're feeding the toxicity. You're being codependent. And you're making yourself and things worse for it. We see that after Morty told him he aged himself up to make him return home, with Marta and Night Family. It doesn't matter that Rick still has some selfishness in him if he is LETTING HIS SHITTY ASS FAMILY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIM. And this is RICK SANCHEZ we're talking about. The guy who doesn't take bullshit from people and who rarely lets anyone take advantage of him.

Morty forgiving Rick when he is traumatized and corrupted beyond belief is NOT HEALTHY. Especially the fact that he is willing to follow almost whatever he says now, the same that you people complained about in seasons 1-2. Morty willingly puts his life in danger every day just to be around the man who has traumatized him, who is still abusing him at times, and who chose to put his life in danger. He sacrifices a piece of his personality that was against Rick. He goes with Rick instead of Evil Morty. He lets Rick tell him to taste poison food without question. And it's not because he knows Rick would get mad at him like before but because of his TOXIC CODEPENDENCY. At this point does Rick even give a fuck if Morty decides to stop doing adventures? I mean he replaced the bitch with crows with no regret. Yes, I do think the show should tone down on his edginess but he has the right to rebuff and be aloof to the guy that has ruined his life. It doesn't matter if he's getting nicer, Rick has done a lot of unforgivable trauma and has twisted his entire families' ideologies and morals. Morty doesn't have any dreams or healthy friendships not just because Rick would fuck em up but because of their TOXIC CODEPENDENCY.

Morty falls into a clinically insane depression when Rick decides he wants his grandson to have a normal life instead of constant dangerous adventures and decides to seek help. But the show doesn't call this out, they GET RICK AND MORTY BACK TO BEING ADVENTURE PARTNERS AND ACT LIKE IT'S A GOOD THING BECAUSE THEY WILL TREAT EACH OTHER BETTER. WHEN RICK ABANDONED HIS SEARCH FOR HELP, THEY DON'T WANT TO GET HELP, MORTY DOESN'T LEARN THAT HE CAN'T GLORIFY HIS GRANDFATHER'S LIFESTYLE, RICK IS CONSTANTLY PUTTING MORTY'S LIFE IN DANGER AND TRAUMATIZING HIM, THEY HAVE CAUSED A LOT OF UNFORGIVABLE TRAUMA TO EACH OTHER, AND THEY STILL ACT LIKE PIECES OF SHITS, MOSTLY IN A DIFFERENT WAY BUT STILL.

And that's not even mentioning how shoddy and contrived this whole development is but that's a story for another day.

Am I trying to say that Rick should be a psychopathic asshole who treats others like shit for no reason? NO! In fact, I'm one of the people that wanted to beat him up before and disliked the direction his character took in seasons 3-5. But there is a fine line between being toxically mean and toxically positive. You don't need to be Mr. Perfect to be healthy. You just have to acknowledge your own shitty flaws but also not let other toxic people take advantage of you because both of these can cause issues.

[leatherdaddyissues]

I miss my nanny, my sister put flowers next to her urn when we came to see my pop-pop and share dinner with him. I see her in everything the way I used to see god in everything

[willgrahamscock]

hey ms cock did you realize that your coming out was a year to the day from meatball pussy night

this makes it seem like me poisoning myself with expired medicine turned me trans

[tpwk-formula1]

Lee-Lee’s Pizzeria

It’s time to custom-make your Pizza (fic)!!

Here at Lee-Lee’s Pizzeria, you can order whatever you like with as many toppings as you would enjoy!

----------------------

Server

Pick 1 or more! I do poly fics! (Only written a couple so far so they might be a bit rough to begin)

Lando Norris

Max Verstappen

Charles Leclerc

Oscar Piastri

Carlos Sainz

Lewis Hamilton

George Russell

Fernando Alonso

Alex Albon

Daniel Ricciardo

Pierre Gasly

Ollie Bearman

Franco Colapinto

Logan Sargeant

Jack Doohan

Liam Lawson

Kimi Antonelli

Dino Beganovic

Toto Wolff

Seb Vettel

Pizza Crust

At Lee-Lee's we understand that all great pizzas start with a great crust just like how fics start with a great trope! Pick 1

Thin Crust - Brother's best friend

Thick Crust - Sugar Daddy

Cauliflower Crust - Sunshine x Grumpy

Gluten-Free - Enemies to lovers/ Rivals

Deep Dish - Teammates to lovers

Sicilian Crust - Dating or hooking up

Pizza Sauce

Here at Lee-Lee's our sauce is the overall vibe of the fic! Pick 1

Red Sauce - Rough Sex

Alfredo Sauce - Sweet Sex

Pizza Toppings

Pick 1 or more

Pepperoni - "Be a good girl, and you'll get what you want"

Sausage - "Better not waste a drop"

Olives - "Swallow every last bit. NOW!"

Jalapenos - "Always such a fucking brat"

Onions - "I saw you being a little slut"

Green Peppers - "I'm gonna have that ass glowing red by the time I'm done with you"

Tomatoes - "Do you enjoy pissing me off?"

Mushrooms - "Wrong, wanna try again"

Salami - "Such a little cum slut"

Chicken - "Awe, you thought I'd let you cum that easy?"

Basil - "I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy"

Garlic - "I know you love it when I fill that pretty pussy with my cum"

Cilantro - "Stop crying and fucking take it"

Roasted Peppers - "Such a good whore"

Artichokes - "Imagine your father saw you now. On your knees like a proper trained slut for me to use"

Bacon - "What would your brother think if he caught us"

Banana Peppers - "Look so pretty riding my cock"

Ham - "You're so infuriating. Walking around like you own the place and then come back to my room to get fucked properly"

Buffalo Chicken - "Such a fucking crybaby, just fucking take it all"

Spinach - "Awe I love to know I stretched you out just enough to take all my cock"

Pineapple - "Look so pretty wrapped around my cock"

Arugula - "I love stretching this pussy out"

Broccoli - "Made just for me huh?"

Gorgonzola cheese - "Are you always this fucking loud?"

Parmesan cheese - "Awe... did that hurt? Tuff luck I'm gonna do it again"

Mozzarella- “All you ever do is bitch and complain, just fucking take it”

Feta cheese - “God, I love watching your makeup get ruined”

Cheddar cheese - “cumming for me already? Such a meedy slut”

Roasted Mushrooms - “Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy”

Roasted Artichokes - “im gonna put a baby in you”

Gouda cheese - “Slow down? You just told me to speed up, make up your mind silly girl”

Red peppers - “No. Go change”

BBQ Chicken - “Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby”

Canadian bacon - "Do you need an attitude adjustment"

Meatballs - "Why do you always have to complain?"

Chorizo - "Alright, you spent my money. You know what to do now"

Pulled pork - "God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you"

Egg - "My favorite slut"

Prosciutto - "I love making this pretty pussy squirt"

Anchovies - "How are you already drenched"

Sweet Onions - "Are you done complaining?"

Cherry Tomatoes - "I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies"

Sun-dried tomatoes - "Gonna look so pretty pregnant"

Provolone - "Always look best with a face covered in my cum"

Ricotta - "I love your voice but it's always my favorite when you're moaning my name"

Goat cheese - "Look so pretty like this"

Buratta - "How many was that? three... I think you can give me another"

Fontina - "wipe that fucking smirk off your face"

Pepper jack. - "If you wanna be a whore go back to his place then"

Colby Jack - "If you keep running that mouth you're not gonna cum tonight"

Romano - "You're the biggest disappointment me to your family. You're a whore and now you're a fucking liar"

Kielbasa - "A preschooler is better behaved than you are"

Kale - "I love knowing I ruined you so good you can only cum when I make you"

Eggplant - "Are you sure you want me to take it baby?"

Shrimp - "I'll be gentle"

Turkey sausage - "Only the best for my girl"

Pancetta - "Your father always finds a way to piss me off"

Roasted asparagus - "Stop trying to get away. Just be a good girl and take it"

Shallots - "I love marking you up. Let everyone know I own you"

Oregano - "Please, let me cum in you"

-----------------

Drink Time

Every great pizza comes with a drink! Just like every great fic comes with kink/s! Pick 1 or more

Beer - Edging/ orgasm denial

Coke - Spanking

Sprite - Size Kink

Dr Pepper - Dirty Talk

Root beer - Daddy Kink

Sweet tea - Dumbification

Lemonade - Body Worship (Reader giving or receiving)

Pink lemonade - Degrading Kink

Diet Coke - Recording Kink

Pepsi - Oral Kink

Diet Pepsi - Biting

Sparkling Water - Spitting

Red bull - Hickeys

Mt. Dew - Dom/ Sub (Is reader a dom or sub?)

Water - Breeding Kink

Wine - Free Use Kink

Black Tea - Choking

Green Tea - Doggy Position

Boba - Anal

Strawberry Smoothie - Bondage

Apple Juice - Pain Kink

Slushie - Safe word used

Sun Tea - Sir kink

White Claw - Crying

Truly - Belly Bulge

Mango Smoothie - Baby trapping

Orange juice - morning sex

Vodka soda - Somnophilia/ sleepy sex

Tequila sunrise - Wax Play

Vodka redbull - Squirting

Coke Zero - High sex

Cranberry juice - Caught in the act

Mojito - Loss of virginity

Old Fashion - Drunk sex

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Dessert Time!

Do you want dessert with your pizza? Dessert will represent if you would like to see aftercare at the end or not.

Yes - Aftercare

No - No Aftercare

Our menu is ever-changing which means new options will be added when new ideas come!

[fullofcake]

I made a silly poll

[livinlikebailey]

Marauders as things my friend group has said

“Sometimes I forget how many dead people there are.” - Sirius @ Regulus during a family history lesson.

“ I’m gonna bite your toes while you’re sleeping,,, nibble, nibble, nibble” - a drunk Barty @ Evan who is ignoring him.

James: Drops phone on his face. James: claps friends theme song. James: picks phone back up like nothing happened.

“I’m a bi guy, a simple bi guy and I am 99% Lilly Evans and 1% Regulus Black.” - James Potter

“ Why do all the cute ones gotta be Deatheaters?” - Rita @ Bellatrix

“Iron chickens do not have iron testicals” - a very drunk Sirius @ an unfortunately sober Remus.

“I have decided that i am a snack it just no one is hungry” - Peter

Marlene: Climbs on train track bridge Dorcas: “Oh you are so fucking dumb, I look away for 2 seconds”

“No bite, no smile!” - Remus @ James who is trying to take a picture of him too close to the full moon.

“If i was there i’d slap her i don't care if she's 9” - Mary to lily after hearing about the shit her sister was doing to her. “James, I am a pussy.” - Peter to James about the forbidden forest.

“I would be James’ sugar bab- AHH!” - Lily about James to Mary.

“I have to go through all my saves and delete the videos of him because he turned out to be a pedophile… Hey! I had a chance with him” - Remus probably at some point.

“Was that CORPSE? Woop!” - Drunk Remus at a party.

Remus: “ughhhh” Sirius: “what?” Remus: “I hurt and I'm dying.” Sirius: “don't die, that's for kids”

Barty : sits up really quick "guys I just swallowed the nail, it's in my throat." Barty: proceeds to cough up the nail

Pandora: shows Regulus a picture she drew "this is cute" Regulus: "you're cute. wait that didn't go how I wanted it to.”

Barty: “RACCOON WORLDS DOMINATION”

Sirius: “Do I look like a freaking rat?” Regulus: ….. Sirius: “Don't answer that”

Effie: hears a song playing from james’ room “I used to listen to this song in grade school.” James: “Oh so it's really old then.”

Remus: "sips coffee stressfully"

Barty: "seductively eats toes"

Evan: "for your next random gift I'll get you a screwdriver Barty: "thanks I'm gonna kill myself with it"

Marlene: whining "mom James got me addicted to cocaine" wait I mean Crack cookies" - Marlene @ Effie

Nymphadora: tries to lick cat. Andromeda: "don't lick the kitty." Dora: proceeds to lick cat.

Barty: "school sh**tings" gives thumbs up

Sirius: shows Remus their high heels Remus: "okay whore" smacks hand over mouth "wait i- that wasn't supposed to come out" Sirius: laughs their ass off

James: yells across the store to mom “mom!" Random person at the checkout: looks at James "I am not mom."

“Effie’s a Milf” - Marlene

“I don't have nothing, other than a few std's” -Remus

“You can eat half a mermaid before you're a cannibal” - Pandora to Regulus

“Probably shouldn't be doing it but we’re definitely going to continue anyway” - Remus, Sirius, James and Peter in sync.

very confused Peter: “leprechauns don't play quidditch.”

Marlene: “like weewoo but not weewoo” exasperated and high off her ass

Sirius: “I like aids”

phone falls off bed Marlene in an Australian accent: "crikey my phone"

“I’m hooked up to so many wires i could connect to hbo on my heart monitor” - Lily on pain killers to James

"I don't think I can lick that, can I?" -Sirius playing goat simulator

watching cloudy with a chance of meatballs and it's at the part where the mayor destroys the machine and James says " I hope you see the error of your ways, you glutton!”

(talking about Cameron Monaghan) the murder child from my chemical romance - Sirius

"Fuckin’ Sirius"- Remus while asleep

Sirius "I've got middle fingers and i'm not afraid to use them" Regulus: "do it" Sirius "I’m a little afraid to use them"

Peter while asleep: groans and sits up fast James: "you okay?" Peter "not really." James: "What's wrong?" Peter: "I'm gonna have to use the loo to solve the thing."

Sirius: "So were you born in 2006, 2007?" Narcissa: "i was born in 2004" Regulus: "i don't mean this in a mean way but wow you are old"

Sirius: "I WANNA HOLD YOU" Remus "NO, LET ME MAKE COFFEE THEN YOU CAN"

Barty: "I'm gonna do a line off your dresser"

Barty: "i have a headache" pauses "and i have 2 more lines to do"

Mary: "I don't have to do acid I have the that back massager that messes with my balance receptor"

Barty: suddenly sits up Regulus: “are you okay” Barty: “i don't know, i'm just gonna go to sleep and try to see what's going on”

Barty: "Why not use a shotgun, it's easier, this is america." (was not in america)

"stop licking the oreos" - Reg @ Barty

"Do i really have to tell you not to mate with the cat"- McGonagall @ the marauders

Remus: “I can feel the brain damage,, and i've got another line”

“MY TRAUMA CAN'T HANDLE THIS!”- Sirius

“Ball licky licky titty croissant” - James trying to learn french from Regulus

“Ooo yay i love being kidnapped!”- Barty probably at some point

“The 3 c's cook, clean, cocktails”- Remus “The 3 b's bake broil blowjobs”- Sirius

“LET ME UPLOAD MY PORN DAMNIT” - Marlene probably

"Dorcas you should be my sugar mommy" - Pandora

"An air whore" Remus

"My skyrim character is Schizophrenic" - James

"I wanna blow up pumpkins, and People!!!!" -Bellatrix

"I can taste it in my eyeballs" - James

"you can't take terrorists to the airport"-Peter

"I'm really bad at swallowing" - Sirius

“you can't fuck a duck, you'd have to seduce it” - Evan

"Hey your boobs are crooked"- Marlene

"i’m sorry, i accused you of taking my grandpa" -Sirius

"im a gay virgin"-Regulus

"duck now motherfucker" Sirius @ James

"i wanna become a rug or everyone does a line of my ashes when i die" - Remus

"you can't be funny while I'm smoking" -Remus @ First year after he walked out the door

"I'm leaving, i don't care that much about being drug free" - Barty

[lilyblisslys]

What's a food you really like but don't get to eat super often?

Oagh…there’s so many answers to this. Pierogi? Specifically Krispy Kreme glazed donuts? The delicate flower of a man’s pussy? Japanese curry? Or a good meatball sub….

[jokersfangirl84]

Words Get In The Way

A Frankie Morales x Reader Fic

Chapter One

Pairing:. Francisco "Frankie" Morales x Female Reader

Summary: You and Frankie Morales have been best friends for a couple of years. Over time your feelings for him have deepened but you're unsure of how to tell him due to the fear of him not reciprocating. He comes over for your usual Friday night dinner. This is the night you are planning on making your confession. But... there is an obstacle. Someone else in the picture....and he has his own news he has to break to you...

Word Count: 4700+

Rating: M. There’s a little bit of spice, a few mentions of cock & pussy & sexual innuendo but it’s all being imagined. It's all mostly fluff. There is profanity but nothing filthy. I'd still advise being 18+ before reading.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse (female mistreating male). A bitchy girlfriend. Bullying. Some vulgarity. A couple of F-bombs.  Heartbreak. Hearing bad news. A little sadness and thematic elements. A few spicy scenes where you have fantasies.  No actual sex.

Author's Notes:  I feel like I made this a little sadder than anticipated. There is still sweetness, humor, spice (just a little), fluff. There is one character who isn't very likeable. I’ve worked on this for 2 months. I finally mustered up the courage to post it. I hope whoever reads this enjoys it & it leaves you wanting more. I hope it leaves you intrigued. Also, no offense to anyone named Erica. I only chose it because I have known a few people with that name who were....let's just say....not so nice.

Side Note: I LOVE me some Frankie Morales, Pedro Pascal's character in Triple Frontier. I chose him because I feel like he would be perfect to have as a male best friend & who would protect you & take care of you. Plus the character's whole look is perfection.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! I hope you enjoy!

Feedback is welcome!  

Reblogs are loved and appreciated!

Chapter 2 coming soon!

Below are the links to Chapters 2 & 3! Enjoy!

**********************************

It was Friday night, and your closest guy friend Francisco "Frankie" Morales was coming over for your usual weekly hangout. It had become a ritual: dinner, a movie, and conversation, and always at your place. The dinner menu was routinely his choice. This week his request was homemade spaghetti and meatballs with a side of garlic bread. When he mentioned it, you were relieved, as it was one of your favorite and easiest meals to prepare. You considered it your "specialty".

  You were in your bedroom finishing getting ready when you heard sizzling sounds coming from the stove. Making a beeline for the kitchen, a sigh of relief escaped your throat as you noticed your homemade sauce had not, in fact, boiled over. There were only a few drops of condensation that had fallen onto the hot stove burner.  As you stirred the sauce lovingly you were pleased with its bright crimson hue; its scent a delightful mixture of tomatoes, basil, garlic, and onions, its consistency thick and perfect. The homemade meatballs you had added were soaking up the tomatoey richness beautifully.

"Exquisite!  He will love this" you said as you took a taste test.

After checking the noodles, putting the bread in the oven and setting the table, you opened a fresh bottle of Merlot, pouring yourself a glass. Your cheeks were already flushed, and not just from the alcohol. You felt this way each time you heard Frankie's voice, saw his face, even hearing his name made you fall to pieces. Your heart fluttered at the times he looked at you with those deep dark eyes of his, flashed his incredible Joker-esque smile, laughed at one of your silly jokes or memes, even when you knew he was only laughing because you were.

You thought back to the day you two had your first meeting. Your friendship began four years ago when you had met him in a crowded bar. Some young blonde-haired, blue-eyed drunk guy kept offering to buy you drinks. While you kept politely declining, he persisted. At one point he even grabbed you, trying to make out.  When you pushed him away, causing him to spill his beer, he became enraged. He threw the bottle on the ground, shattering it to pieces. He raised a hand as if he were about to strike you. It was at that moment when Frankie intervened, seemingly coming out of nowhere, and grabbing the guy's wrist mid-air. He warned him to leave you alone, and when he refused, Frankie threatened to get physical.

"Who the fuck are you?" The drunkard asked, slurring his words.

"I'm her boyfriend"  was Frankie's  response. "That's who the fuck I am.  I don't take too kindly to assholes who put their hands on my girl".

Your girl. Your mind ran circles around those words. That's what you had wished to be from the moment he, a total stranger, had referred to you as such, even if it was for the sake of protecting you from a drunk creep. Especially during the instant Frankie threatened to break the guy's wrist and knock his teeth down his throat after he had called you a bitch. Still fresh in your mind was the look of fury in his eyes, although you could barely see them under his cap, and the sucking sounds slipping through his gnashed teeth caused by his increased breathing.

"I'm cool. Everything is cool," said the drunkard. "I'll leave her alone."  

He put both his hands up and slowly backed away as Frankie loosened his grip on his wrist.

Frankie had turned to you and smiled, introducing himself and offering a handshake, which you accepted. His hand was massive, completely engulfing the small daintiness of yours. You were surprised at how soft his skin and fingertips felt and how they were not at all calloused as they caressed the back of your hand. You were struck by how ruggedly handsome he was and how cute you found the curls sticking out from beneath his cap.

"Thank you", you said to him as you told him your name. "That whole scenario wasn't necessary but I appreciate it.”

"Beautiful name", he responded, taking his cap off, running a hand through his thick hair and putting it back in place. "Of course it was necessary. Guys who think they can treat women any way they want, and get away with it, piss me the fuck off. It's sickening."

Oh my god. I love you and I don't even know you.

A few moments later the drunk guy returned, attempting to  punch Frankie. But he was so sloshed, he missed, and his fist hit your cheek instead. You still cried out though you barely felt anything

"What the fuck!" Frankie yelled. What seemed like less than a second later he balled up his fist, slugging the guy smack dab in the nose, knocking him to the ground. Frankie sat on top of him, punching him repeatedly. The drunk screamed in pain as blood gushed from his nose.  Patrons began to surround the two men, trying to stop the assault.

“Motherfucker! Don't...you...ever... put...your...hands...on...a...lady!" he screamed, saying the words after every punch.

You knew the drunk guy didn't intend to hit you, and you thought maybe Frankie was overreacting, but still you sat on your barstool watching this madness unfold. This man, who you had just met, was assaulting another man because he had put his hands on you.  You were experiencing so many thoughts and feelings you didn't know how to sort them out.

Why is he defending me?  Where did he come from?  Is he always this triggered and violent? Why do I want him to take me into the bathroom and fuck me like an animal?

  The bald, muscular bouncer finally pulled Frankie off the guy, holding him back by his arms.

In no time at all the police showed up, asking the patrons questions about what happened. The drunkard whined like a child and insisted he did nothing wrong as he was helped to his feet by patrons and holding his hand to his gushing nose.

"I was only defending my girlfriend" was Frankie's nonchalant response when the police asked him if that were true. He nudged his head towards you. Police arrested him, which you felt was undeserved. You explained to them what had actually taken place and that he was only protecting you. To convince them not to take him to jail, you tried flirting with the cop who was shoving him in the back of the squad car.

Frankie shot you a confused glare. The fuck are you doing?  He mouthed. 

You winked at him quickly and glanced back at the cop, batting your eyelashes.

"Alright, alright, lady. Stop it", he huffed. "Cut it out before I arrest you too for bribing a cop".   He took the handcuffs off Frankie and pushed him towards you.

"What I suggest you do is take him home, make him sober up, and make sure he never shows his face in this establishment again. If he does, I'll throw him in the slammer myself."

"Yes, Officer. Thank you. I just don't know what I'd do without him" you said, speaking in the most little-girlish voice you had ever used. "He's my whole world."

Frankie gave you side-eye, furrowing his brow.

The cop snickered, shaking his head as he climbed into the car and drove away.

You and Frankie stood in silence for a moment outside the bar, both of you trying to think of the next thing to say.  He kept shaking his hand out, the one that had collided with the drunk's face.

"Do you think it's broken?" You asked.

"Nah. Just a little sore. How's your cheek?"

You had actually forgotten about being hit. "I can't feel a thing."

He grinned. "Good. That pretty little face of yours deserves to be flawless."

You shivered, unsure of whether it was from the cool wind picking up or him complimenting you.

Damn, I knew I should have brought a sweater. You wrapped your arms around yourself, rubbing your hands up and down your arms.

Frankie must have noticed.  He removed his tan jacket he wore over his grey T-shirt and put it around your shoulders. You shuddered; never before had a guy done this for you. He put a hand on your back, guiding you in the direction to start walking with him.

"Come on. Let me walk you to your car."

Once you located your car he opened the door for you, shutting it once you were fully inside. This was also the first time a guy did such a thing for you. You rolled down the window, allowing him to rest his forearms on the door and stick his head inside.

"Would you like to hang out sometime?"  you asked. "I mean, as friends?"

Please say yes. 

"Fuck yeah, Darlin'. I'd love to be your friend." He smiled, his eyes lighting up. You both pulled out your phones and exchanged numbers.

"Text me when you get home," he instructed.  "I don't want to have to kick anyone else's ass tonight."

You weren't sure what exactly it was about you that made him so protective over you, or why. He didn't even know you. Perhaps he was just that type of person. If that were true, you definitely wanted to get to know him better. You turned the ignition and put the car in drive.

"Oh wait, what about your jacket?" You asked before pressing the gas pedal. "Would you like to have it back?"

"Nah. Keep it," he said. "I like the way it looks on you."

You still had that jacket. Sometimes it was used as a blanket instead of the dozens of blankets you owned as it gave you the warmth that they couldn't. Sometimes you wore it when you hadn't seen him in a while and you were missing him dearly, or when you needed to feel secure. His scent still lingered in the fabric.

The sound of the oven beeping made you snap out of your flashback, your eyes shooting open, looking around, trying to figure out what just happened. You hadn't realized your eyes were closed and that you were smiling. You always smiled when you thought about first meeting Francisco Morales. Sure, almost getting assaulted by a drunk stranger wasn't exactly a fond memory, but finding a new best friend was. A male best friend who treated you and knew you better than most of your female friends. A guy who was aware of what kind of mood you were in just from seeing your expression. A guy who knew all your likes and dislikes, and knew what made you laugh and what made you cry. You knew from the moment you saw him, although a little rough around the edges, that he was a good person with a heart of gold.

Frankie was the person you called when you had been out drinking too much and needed a ride, or when your car broke down. What he was doing never mattered; he would always drop everything and come get you. The distance was never an issue. If you were sick, he was always there to take care of you.

Your feelings for him had deepened over the years. He was on your mind day and night, consuming your thoughts. You wanted to be more than friends. You always imagined being the girl on his arm, spending every waking hour with him, sleeping in the same bed, cooking him breakfast, making his coffee. Although, there were a few nights he stayed when you asked him to come over because you had a fear of being alone after watching too many murder shows. Ever the gentleman, he always slept on the sofa.

Never were you intimate with Frankie, but boy was the desperation vehement. You wanted so much more than the occasional pecks on the cheek, hugs, and playful slaps on the ass he gave you. You constantly thought about how it would feel to have his lips touch yours, and every inch of your body, feel his breath on your skin, feel him inside of you, run your hands up and down his back, scream his name, have him talk dirty to you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. You had been wanting for so long to tell him your true feelings but the worry it would change your friendship status stopped you.

Your phone began playing "Thank You For Being a Friend", the Golden Girls theme song. Frankie was calling you.

"I'm on my way. I'll be there in 15 minutes or less. Can I bring you anything?"

His voice always sent shivers down your spine.

 “Just your amazing self.”

"Okay Babe," he said with a giggle. "Oh, by the way, Erica is coming with me".  

Fuck. You let out a long, annoyed sigh.

"No, Babe. Don't start that shit. You know I have to bring her."

His voice became deep and serious, knowing you were not fond of her.

"You don't necessarily have to."

"Baaabbbe...." 

 "Alright. Fine. If she's nice, I'll be nice".

 He let out a small laugh. "Fair enough. See you soon".  Click.

Fucking Erica. Erica was his girlfriend of six months, with whom you did not get along. She was loud, obnoxious, self-centered, always made snide comments about your cooking, the decor in your apartment, and your taste in fashion. You tried to be nice to her but it seemed like that bothered her even more. You thought, maybe she was only jealous of your relationship with Frankie, which was a question you had asked him several times.

"She's jealous of everyone", he told you. "Don't take it personally."

You leaned against the counter, downing your glass of wine in one large gulp and pouring another. It took all the liquid courage you could get to deal with Erica.

The doorbell rang. You finished setting the table and ran to answer the door. 

Frankie stood in the doorway, his hand pressed against the brick frame. Wearing his usual jeans, black hiking boots, light blue button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows; a few undone buttons at the top, with a faded red T-shirt underneath and his signature cap, your heart fluttered when you saw him. You loved how his beard was thicker than usual; the grey ever so discernable.

Oh damn! Why must you look so good!

"Hey Babe!" He greeted you with his arms wide open, wrapping you in a bear hug. You adored these hugs; they made you feel safe, warm, loved. He smelled delicious and clean, like fresh lavender and chamomile.

"Damn you look beautiful", he said, stepping back and looking you up and down. "New dress I assume? What's the occasion?"

You were wearing a mint-green short-sleeved sweater dress, black flats, and small emerald earrings with a matching headband.

You shrugged. "I thought I'd try something different than the usual leggings and over-sized T-shirt".

"Maybe that's what I like," he grinned, his eyes darkening.

You playfully slapped your hand on his chest. "Oh you, stop it!"

You both stood in silence for moment, staring at each other. He leaned forward, his eyes darting up and down from your eyes to your lips.

Please kiss me!

He pecked you on the cheek instead and turned his eyes to the kitchen. "Is dinner ready? Fuck it smells delicious. I'm starving!"  He flashed a smile and rubbed his hands together as he made his way to the food.

Dammit!

"Wait, where's Erica? Didn't you say she was coming with you?" 

You kept looking towards the doorway, waiting for her to come in. You felt a shred of hope that maybe she decided to skip this night.

"She's still in the truck finishing up a call."

"The longer she stays there the better." You muttered under your breath.

"Hey!"

Oh shit. He heard that.

The sharpness of his tone made you jump. Glancing at him, you saw he was already sitting at the table, a heaping plate in front of him, pointing his fork at you.

"Didn't I tell you to be nice?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. Wait-what happened to your face?" You ran over to him, noticing now that he was in better lighting, he had visible scratches on his cheeks and nose, a cut on his bottom lip, and a gnarly purple bruise under his left eye.

"Did she do this to you?"

You reached out to touch his face. He gently pushed your hand away.

"Don't overreact", he said. "It's not what you think. She likes to fuck rough sometimes. That's all." 

"Hell yes I do."

  You and Frankie both looked towards the front door. Erica had let herself in, strutting her way in your direction. Her long, shiny black hair was draped across her cleavage, accentuated by her tight black dress. She had porcelain skin, professionally done makeup, flawlessly sculpted eyebrows, and bright green eyes that contrasted with her plump red lips.

She walked straight over to Frankie, basically pushing you out of the way, straddled him, and began making out with him, sticking her tongue down his throat, moaning the fakest moans you'd ever heard, grinding against him, grabbing his hands and placing them on her ass.

The sloppy sounds of their tongues made your stomach churn. You tried not to watch them and focus on your dinner but it was too much.

"Really?" You said, exasperated.  "At the dinner table?"

  Erica kept her mouth on Frankie's while she put her hand behind her back and flipped you off.

You felt the anger racing through your veins. You kept telling yourself not to let her get to you. You stood up from the table and made your way into the kitchen to get another bottle of wine. You kept glancing over at them while you opened the bottle. God, they still were all over each other. Although now Erica had her whole mouth on his neck, sucking on it like she was a damn vampire. He had his eyes closed, a small grin across his lips.

Oh, to be the one doing that to him.

Frankie's eyes caught yours. He could tell you were getting annoyed. "Come on now, Erica, stop," he said, trying to push her off his lap. "Our dinner is getting cold."

"Oh, look what Miss Betty Crocker has made for us, Darling," Erica said as she took her seat. "Spaghetti. How redundant."  Her sarcasm cut through you like the sharpest blade imaginable.  You ignored that comment by offering wine to her and Frankie, trying to be as nice and polite to her as you possibly could.  

"We don't drink the cheap shit," she spat.

You cut your eyes to Frankie, who shook his head at you, his way of telling  you to keep your mouth shut. He knew you were ready to pop off.

"Well....you might not drink it, but I know he does. I know tons about him that you don't."

Erica glared at you. "I could say the same thing. Such as.....how good of a fuck he is."

Frankie dropped his fork onto his plate. He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

"Ladies, knock it off," he growled. "How about we have a nice dinner together for once? Is that too much to ask?"

In unison, you and Erica both replied no.

The three of you ate in silence. The only noises being made were your utensils scraping the plates. You kept your focus on Frankie. You watched him enjoy his meal while lazily picking at yours. You watched him stuff meatballs into his mouth, slurp the noodles, and sop up the sauce off his plate with pieces of garlic bread.  He ate like it was the best meal he'd ever had. He kept closing his eyes and saying "mmmm" after every bite.

Oh god. Those slurping sounds made your blood race. You imagined that's what it sounded like when he was eating your pussy. You imagined his cock making those sounds as it vigorously moved in and out of you. He began licking sauce off his fingers. You wanted it to be you he was tasting after his fingers had been inside of you. You had to bite your lip to keep from moaning aloud.

The sound of Frankie's cell phone ringing made you snap out of your trance. He took it out of his pocket, glancing down.  "I have to take this. It's work."  He got up from the table.

"Behave, you two," he said, pointing to you and Erica as he stepped out onto your apartment balcony, closing the sliding glass door behind him for privacy.

As soon as Frankie was out of sight, Erica turned her attention to you.  If looks could kill.....

"You and I need to get something straight right now." Her tone was haughty and spiteful. “He is not your boyfriend." She arrogantly waved her finger in front of your face. "He's mine. He belongs to me. I have him."  

She moved her face closer to yours, snarling.  Her green eyes devilish. Haunting. Sinister. You wanted to look away but you couldn't.

"I know you want to fuck him. For that I don't blame you. But it's never going to happen."    She tossed her head back, flipping black hair over her shoulder. "You've been friends for, what now, years?  And he hasn't even kissed you?  Face it, Sweetie. There's a reason. He doesn't want you."

You blinked furiously, trying to hold back tears. You cleared your throat. "You may be right. I might not be the one he wants. I have no idea how he really feels about me." You wiped a small tear away forming in the corner of your eye. "What I do know is that he doesn't want someone who treats him like a punching bag."

Erica clenched her jaw. "I'm sure he'd rather feel pain than nothing at all."

You opened your mouth to reply but Frankie opened the glass door, calling for Erica to come see him for a moment while still holding the phone to his ear. She gave you a look of satisfaction and joined him on the balcony.

Around ten minutes later they both returned, making their way to the table where you still sat. Erica had a huge smile on her face while Frankie looked disappointed. Without giving you a chance to ask what was going on, he turned his gaze to you.

"I have to relocate."

Your eyes widened.

"Relocate? Where?"

Frankie hesitated before answering.

"New York City."

You lived in Los Angeles.  Your heart began to pound.  "New York City?!  Seriously?  What....was your answer?"

"I accepted."

You opened your mouth to speak but he put his hand up to keep you from ranting.

 "I have to do this, Babe. You know I have no choice in the matter."

"Tell her the other good news", Erica piped in arrogantly.

He exhaled deeply. "I'm taking Erica with me." His tone was full of regret.

Your heart shattered like a rock through a window.

Nope. He doesn't want me. I'm not the one.

 "I'm happy for you."  The tears made their escape, flowing like rivers down your cheeks. You put your head in your hands.

Frankie scooted closer to you and put an arm around your shoulder.  

"It's gonna be alright, Babe", he said softly. "We'll still chat every day. I'll text you, call you, video chat, FaceTime, do whatever I can to stay in contact with you."

You shook your head. "It's not the same as having you physically here."

"Babe, I know how upsetting this news is for you. I'm not happy about leaving either. But I'm not your only friend. You'll still have your girlfriends. You can have them over for Friday night dinners."

You jumped to your feet. "But they're not you!" you cried.  "I'm not in love with them!  I don't have constant dirty thoughts about them! I don't want to fuck them!"

Oh.....shit.  You realized what you said as soon as it came out of your mouth. The urge to run into your room and hide was overwhelming. But you couldn't move. You stood frozen by Frankie's darkened gaze. He sat up straight, raising his left eyebrow. A tiny grin formed in the corner of his mouth.

"Excuse me? Say that again?"

You laughed nervously. "I was only speaking out of anger.  I....I didn't mean a word I said. It...it's nothing".

Frankie stared right through your bullshit.

  "Say.....it."

You wiped your cascading tears away. "I want to fuck you. I want you to fuck me. I want to kiss your lips. I want to feel your hands all over me. It's all I think about."

His grin grew bigger. "Mmmm...hmmm", he growled. "That's what I thought I heard you say. Tell me more."

"No," Erica said before you could reply. She stood up from the table. "This conversation is over. There is nothing more to be said. We are leaving."

She grabbed Frankie's arm and dragged him to the front door. She stopped in the doorway, turning to face you.

"You're nothing to him," she said to you. "Do you know why he chose me to go with him? Because I'm not a needy, dependent, emotional, sad failure. Did you really think telling him you want to fuck him was going to make him stay?"

Frankie opened his mouth to speak but she put her hand up in front of his face. He flinched, which made you realize there was much more going on in that relationship than just rough sex.

"He hates how reliant you are on him. He likes a strong woman who takes control. He likes a woman who can think for herself. Someone who's not up his ass twenty-four seven."

You kept glancing at Frankie, who's arm was still in her grasp, waiting for him to say something. You knew he could have easily wrangled away from her. You'd seen him grab men twice his size by their shirt collars and shove them up against walls for messing with you. You knew he had to be somewhat afraid of her. Never had you seen anyone or anything make him as nervous as this woman did. He looked at you with sad eyes and shook his head, shrugging his shoulders. He never said a word.

A satisfactory grin snaked across Erica's lips. "Let's go, Francisco."

 She pulled him outside and slammed the door behind her, right in your face.

You collapsed on to the sofa, sobbing uncontrollably into a pillow. That was it, your mind kept telling you. Francisco Morales, the love of your life, was gone. He was on his way across the damn country to spend the rest of his life with some bitch who you knew didn't love him and only used him as a sex toy. You didn't even get the chance to tell him that you loved him. You cried yourself to sleep, thinking the last memory you have of him was his somber face, his remorseful stare, and the fact that you were never given the chance to tell him goodbye.

***********************************

Stay tuned for Chapter Two!

If you'd like to be on my taglist, please let me know! I'd love to add you!

@popcornforone @salgal78 @quica-quica-quica @damnyoupedro @flightlessangelwings

[ornerycrab]

Call me Manscaped the way I slurp up hairy pussy like it's spaghetti and meatballs

[neonbuck]

being a guy who grew up playing browser games is funny. most people will join a new pet site and not get too far beyond having the defaults. but people like us will have the Golden Scronglous, the Rarest Meatball and 193804 Pussy Points within one week of signing onto Shittypets dot com

[willgrahamscock]

what happened with the meatball pussy painkillers???

I have chronic digestive issues now but the moldy bread I ate for years didn’t help. That’s actually why I’ve been on less in the past few days it’s because of the stabbing pain in my stomach.

Kids don’t eat mold or take expired medication.

[adultswim2021]

Metalocalypse #37: “Dethrecord” | September 1, 2008 - 12:00AM | S02E17

Fairly simple episode about Dethklok experiencing crunchtime. The deadline for their new album is approaching fast, and the world may unravel if they are not successful. So we see little vignettes of the band attempting to record, experiencing setbacks, etc.

Everyone has a little spotlight here and there, each member performing their parts and it usually going wrong to some degree. Pickles gets annoyed that the band demands perfection on his drum tracks while the rest of the band enjoy French toast. Skwisgaar has to be airborne to record is guitar parts because it’s the only way they can stop an annoying buzz coming through. Nathan Explosion does something.

I was pretty underwhelmed with this episode at first. It was pretty by-the-numbers, and nothing felt too heavy stakes-wise. The humor was just okay. The best subplot in the episode wound up being Toki and Murderface’s. They are shut out of the song-writing process, so they go off and record their own song about “takin’ it easy”. As they nervously play it for the rest of the band, hoping for them to okay it’s inclusion on the record, we get a weird music video that seems to express Toki and Murderface’s warped concept of “takin’ it easy”, which somehow includes a lot of apocalyptic imagery. The scene ends with the band bickering, and Toki threatening to throw a basket of warm towels onto Murderface. This was the funniest scene in the episode by far, and it made the whole thing worth it.

They are clearly ramping up to the next episode, which is another one of their thirty minuters that they are FREAKING OBSESSED with making. But this one feels less like a good standalone episode of the show as much as it’s just an advertisement for the season finale. 

EPHEMERA CORNER

MAIL BAG

would you have sex with virginia madsen if she flew out you and a buddy out to an all-inclusive resort

I have a question: is virginia madsen a woman with a vagina. and an the buddy be my dad

lol ur definitely not easy pussy bro, never been more sure of my life

MMmmmm maybe you wanna ask virginia mastatdon about that

ACAB includes CORBS

That's why it's good when they get blasted! SEE IT'S A GOOD SKETCH

where's your favorite place to unwind that is not your home?you don't have to get too specific if you need to protect your location/idenity.

Very obvious: the video store. Or library, or thrift store or any place that has books or movies to browse. Legit was having a meltdown while I was driving the other day because I got too pissed off by mistake, and I pulled over and went into a thrift store and bought a Denls Leary DVD for a dollar and it immediately relaxed me. Also: seeing old movies at the theater, it's nice! Thank you for the NICE question

CORBS is astounding! Maybe the best summer camp piece of media ever.

MEAN. You are being mean about me calling M*A*S*H a summer camp movie on my letterboxd. It was even remade as Meatballs years later.

I think the ground just shook, and everywhere you look, all you see is CORBS

The scene in Billion Dollar Movie where Erik is jacketting off in bed next to Tim but then it cuts to a wideshot and the bed's legs collapse, momentarily jostling them in a brief freefall to the floor

[kingkatsuki]

pillow humping but meatball katsuki is the pillow 😔

The amount that Bakugou would judge me if he knew I owned a Kirishima meatball pillow irl.

Gonna run my pussy all over him like a slug.