#Maybe they had a surgery and water makes them feel sick now.

[chartreuxcatz]

the whole “water tiktok” hate thing is really pissing me off actually. Damn these people can’t fucking hydrate in peace? Don’t act so worried about their health. I know you never gave a shit about the affects of sweeteners until now. You don’t know why they’re doing it, and frankly you don’t need to. Whether it’s for a health reason or just because they like how it tastes, it’s flavored water for fucks sake. Shut up.

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[evanbi-ckley]

Buck walks through the automatic doors on autopilot and freezes. It hits him then that the last time he stood here, he was meeting Tommy for Maddie and Chim’s wedding. He had stood almost in this very spot and kissed his boyfriend who was covered in soot after fighting a wildfire all night and most of the day.

Now his boyfriend is somewhere else in the hospital, and Buck can’t kiss him or touch him, and his hands are shaking, and he thinks he’s going to be sick.

He turns toward the nearest bathroom and makes it into the stall just in time. He hasn’t eaten yet today, so he’s only throwing up bile mixed with panic and regret, but it’s just as bad.

It’s Hen who finds him, which -

“Why are you in the men’s room?” he asks, his voice weak and still creaky.

“I thought you might need a medical professional.” When Buck just looks at her, she continues with a sigh, “We could hear you in the waiting room. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh.” That’s a little embarrassing. “Sorry. And thanks.”

He gratefully accepts the wet paper towel she hands him to wipe his face.

“Any news yet?”

“Not yet. They took him back for surgery, and it’ll probably be a few more hours before we hear. Bobby and Eddie are in the waiting room if there’s an update. Chim went to pick up Jee from daycare, but he’ll be back later with Maddie.”

Then she produces a water bottle from somewhere behind her.

“How long have I been in here?” Buck asks. Hen seems way too prepared for it to have been just a few minutes.

“About half an hour,” she says. “Actually closer to 45 minutes now.”

“Right.”

So time is still moving awkwardly. He can’t get his bearings. He feels untethered, like he’ll never be on solid ground again.

“Why don’t we get you up and out to a chair?” Hen asks gently. She’s not treating him with kid gloves, but she is being more careful than necessary.

He decides to accept it for the time being. Maybe he does need the softness in her voice and the kindness in her eyes right now.

“Yeah - yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks, Hen.”

She smiles with something like relief and then stands, offering Buck a hand up.

The waiting room is blessedly empty save for their morose party. Buck tries to sit down, but before he can, Hen is pulling at his turnout coat, trying to yank it off his shoulders. She manhandles the coat off and tosses it to Eddie who adds it to the growing pile of coats on an unused chair in the corner. He’s too tired to fight it or question it, plus it was getting heavy with all of the rain still soaked into the fabric. 

After that, Hen leaves to call Karen, and Ravi goes to get food for them all at a little cafe just up the road that they’ve come to know well. 

Buck sits between Bobby and Eddie, almost a mockery of them standing at the crash site, holding him up. Best not to think about it.

Eddie holds a phone in his hands that Buck recognizes, but it’s not Eddie’s phone. The screen is cracked at the upper corner, spider-webbing its way diagonally down the length of the glass.

“Is that -?” He can’t even bring himself to ask.

“It’s Tommy’s, yeah. A nurse brought out the personal items he had on him a while ago. I was going to see if he has any family in his contacts, but I don’t know his passcode.”

“Oh,” Buck swallows roughly, “it’s um - it’s my birthday. But,” he continues before Eddie types the digits, “he doesn’t have any family in his contacts. At least, not anyone he would want here.”

“Ah,” is all Eddie says before handing the phone over to Buck. He pockets it and tries to think about anything other than his boyfriend a few rooms away getting his arm put back together.

He spends the next few minutes staring off into space thinking of nothing other than his boyfriend a few rooms away getting his arm put back together.

“He’s gonna be okay, Buck,” Eddie says into the heavy silence.

“Eddie’s right,” Bobby adds. “His arm will be fine, and the cuts and scrapes will heal. He’ll be back up in the sky before you know it.”

Buck feels his stomach churn threateningly at the thought, but he does his best to nod and smile. 

When Ravi returns with food, Buck can’t handle the smell, let alone eating anything. But he tries. He can hear Tommy’s low voice in his head warning, “Evan, you need to eat something,” and that convinces him more than Eddie’s prodding.

When Karen shows up along with Chimney and Maddie, Buck feels the need to pull her and his sister off to the side.

He tries to keep his voice steady as he says, “I didn’t get it. Before, I mean. I didn’t get what it felt like to be on this side.” He’s oddly proud his voice only cracked once.

Maddie grabs his hand. “Buck, you’ve been on this side a lot of times. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the 118 isn’t very good at staying out of the hospital.”

He lets out a wet laugh.

“I think he means on the worried partner side of things,” Karen says. “You’ve never had someone you’re in a relationship with get injured like this before. Is that right?”

“Y-yeah.” He chuckles sardonically. “When I saw the helicopter - and his - his hand hanging out the window - I thought - he wasn’t moving, y’know? It took us so long to find him. We were too late. I thought -”

“You thought you’d lost him,” Maddie supplies. He can only nod. “Yep, welcome to the Worried Partners Club.”

“It sucks, but it’s worth it,” Karen adds.

Later, when Athena gets off shift, she arrives at the hospital bearing coffee for everyone. Buck nods gratefully when she hands him one, and the understanding look in her eyes nearly sets him off again. Although, he thinks he might be too dehydrated for tears by now.

“Family of Thomas Kinard?” a voice calls from the doors leading to the OR.

Everyone looks up, but Buck is on his feet before the nurse finishes saying Tommy’s name. He feels people behind him, and the nurse’s eyes widen a bit at everyone gathering around, but Buck’s glad for them.

“He’s out of surgery. Everything went well. He’ll be in recovery for about an hour, but as soon as we get him in a room, you can see him.” 

The last part is directed toward Buck. Maybe he now looks like he’s part of the Worried Partners Club, but that’s fine. He’ll see Tommy soon. That’s what matters.

He catches the end of the nurse’s spiel as he says, “...still be under some sedation, so don’t expect much conversation.”

Buck nods, and the nurse leaves, and then Maddie is dragging him back to their chairs, handing him his coffee, and plopping down next to him to wait until they can see Tommy.

“He’s going to be insufferable,” Eddie says suddenly. He looks at Buck and says, “Remember that time he sprained his ankle while we were sparring? God, he was the worst patient.”

Buck genuinely laughs for the first time since they got the call. “He’s so stubborn, he wouldn’t even let me open doors for him. He just struggled to balance on his crutches so he could do it himself. He almost fell into the bushes twice outside the physical therapist’s office.”

Then everyone is laughing, a sense of lightness settling over Buck. He still doesn’t feel grounded or right necessarily, but laughing with his family helps.

They keep telling stories after that. Most of them are about Tommy, but some are stories or updates about kids or parents or a new recipe gone wrong. They all avoid the topic of work.

“Family of Thomas Kinard?” It’s a different nurse this time, but she doesn’t blink an eye at the number of family Tommy has. “He’s resting in his room. You can go back to see him, but we ask that you keep it to 4 or 5 people at a time. He’s still pretty groggy and probably won’t remember what happened right away, so keep conversation simple.” Then she turns and starts walking down the hallway, not waiting or looking back to see if anyone follows.

Buck grabs Chim and Eddie and gestures at Bobby to come, too. At the last second he grabs Hen’s hand, and the five of them hurry to catch up with the nurse together.

“Breathe, Buck,” Hen whispers.

He can’t. Not yet.

part 1

part 2

part 4

[the-fiction-witch]

Wakey Wakey

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating SMUT AFAFAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sat on my bed flicking through my book, the fire burning bright enough to light my room, the house quiet and content my family gone for travelling for at least a few weeks. A storm was overhead battering everything in its wake, the darkness of the storm and of the night coming together to provide a dark void of endless night. 

I perked up a little as I heard a knock. 

For a moment I was frightened as to what could have caused such a sound, but I looked around my room and soon enough jumped! as I saw someone at my balcony door.

But I knew who it was, so I fixed my nightie and rolled my eyes taking a candle over and opening the door the sounds of rain flooding in, as he stood there soaked though. 

"Hello."

"Hello, you fancy a bit of brain surgery?" Jack smirked as he came into my room,

"Is this what you think flirting is?" I sighed, 

He was sheepish for a moment "...yeah," 

"Come on, take your clothes off," I said going to throw another log on the fire,

"Ohh... I didn't think it was gonna work that well?" He smirked eagerly getting his jacket off,

"You're soaked if you don't take them off you'll get sick," I told him, grabbing a towel from my linen cupboard and throwing it at his head,

"Thank you y/n." He sighed, he stripped the rest of his clothes off and wrapped the towel around himself, so I took his clothes and set them on the clothes horse to dry,

"Come sit by the fire," I told him as I set my kettle on its rack letting the fire heat the water, he nodded and came over, sitting on the sofa by the fire wrapped up in the towel, Once the water boiled I poured him some hot tea, and handed it over 

"Ooohh thanks." he smiled sipping to warm his insides, 

"You're welcome," I smiled going and fetching another towel "So? what brings you to my humble abode then Dr Dawkins?" 

"Well, I know your family is gone-" He began but stopped short as I threw my towel over his head using it to dry his still dripping hair "Ohh thank you, But I know they gone so I figured I'd come to keep you company," 

"Thanks very kind of you Jack," I smiled taking the towel off his head and kissing his cheek. 

"Well, I have to be nice to my fiance don't I?" 

"You should be nice yes." I laughed, 

"So... I've been thinking."

"Ohh dear, don't think too much now Jack you'll give yourself a headache."

"Very funny. but seriously, I've been thinking."

"About?" I asked sitting in my chair,

"I should really make the time to come up and see you more often, I feel bad when I don't."

"It's fine Jack I know your busy working."

"I know but, I don't like leaving you all alone so long," he said, 

"That's very sweet," I smiled 

"You'd like to spend time with me?"

"If I didn't want to Jack I'd have left you out in the rain." I chuckled, "Also my family isn't here why didn't you just use the front door?" 

"... Hu, Strangely that thought had not occurred to me." 

"Silly boy,"

"I know," He yawned "Ummm You've made it far too cosy in here. I'm getting sleepy." 

"My apologies for having a cosy bedroom."

"You mind if I stay tonight?" 

"Well..." I began, "You really shouldn't, but you are all warm and dry I send you back out you're just going to get all wet again." I sighed, "Alright,"

"Can I stay... in your bed?" he made eye contact with a sweet smile 

"Alright," I rolled my eyes playfully

"Could maybe..."

"Yes, Jack?"

"....Could we cuddle?" 

"Alright." I rolled my eyes a little but moved over to the sofa and cuddled him laying my head on his shoulder and nuzzling into his neck, he smiled down at me and wrapped his arms around me too,

"Umm... My dearest y/n." He cooed, "How I wish this rain would never end, so I may remain in your arms longer." 

"Well, we shall just have to savour the rain."

"I shall savour every drop" He smiled giving my lips a gentle soft kiss, I smiled and gave him a gentle kiss back before we cuddled up again, 

"You smell nice,"

"Do I?"

"Umm," I nodded,

"I'm pleased I could be pleasant to you dearest." He yawned,

"Come on Dr Dawkins. Bedtime." I told him getting up and offering my hand he happily took it leaving his towel on the clothes horse with his clothes and I took him to my bed, I took my book away and helped him into bed plumping the pillow and tucking him in, he yawned very comfortably 

"Can you sleep with me?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I smiled climbing in too and nuzzling up to him so we could cuddle with him holding me close our noses touching, 

"Y/n?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Can I fall asleep in your arms tonight?"

"Of course," I smiled wrapping my arms around him too, "Goodnight Jack,"

"Goodnight Y/n." He smiled pressing one final kiss to my lips before with a few happy sighs and shifts we gently drifted away to sleep. 

I woke up listening to the rain still attacking the house, but I knew it was early morning, I softly opened my eyes seeing Jack still deep in his sleep so I pressed a kiss to his forehead and carefully climbed out the bed doing my best not to disturb him, I went across my room making sure to keep the fire burning to keep the room warm, I checked his clothes and they where to dry so I took them and folded them on the table at the end of my bed for him, I did want breakfast but I didn't want to make any till he was up, so I made myself a tea on the fire's flames and paced my balcony windows as I sipped it. 

He grumbled a little so I turned and noticed him half asleep running his hands over the bed and looking for me 

"Good Morning," I cooed 

He sat up not even opening his eyes, yawning for a good few seconds and scratching his messy bedhead "Morning dearest." he Yawned 

"Ohh my, that was a big yawn."

"I'm tired." he pouts 

"Aww well stay a few more minutes in bed if you like?"

"No, I'm up. Just about," he said rubbing his neck "You sleep okay?"

"I always do when you're here."

he blushed a little, "Yeah I always sleep better with you too." 

I smiled setting my tea down and running back to bed jumping on him and pushing him onto my mattress for a cuddle, he laughed at me but wrapped his arms around me anyway "Breakfast?"

"I am hungry,"

"Good, I'll go make breakfast." I smiled patting his chest before I tried to get up but he pulled me back "Whoa... Hello" I laughed at the surprise of being back against his nose 

"Hello," He smiled giving me a sweet kiss "Now you can go."

"Silly boy." I giggled getting up and heading out of my room down to the kitchen, I made some hashbrowns, some eggs, and some toast and got a big jug of orange juice taking it all upstairs. When I returned Jack was exactly where I left him clearly fighting with himself on whether he was going to go back to sleep or wake up,  "Breakfast." I smiled setting it on the table.

"You're an angel." He smiled climbing out of bed and rubbing his eyes as he walked across to the table "Thank you Y/n" he smiled kissing my cheek as he made himself a plate and a large glass of juice, we sat together and ate breakfast or well I nibbled and he consumed it as if he hasn't been fed in a week, 

"Peckish?" I laughed 

"I don't often eat breakfast, don't have time to make it or if I do I get called off for something else. It's nice to sit down and have breakfast, especially with you,"

"That's sweet Jack, well once we're married I'll make sure you get breakfast every day before you leave for work."

"You will?"

"Course got to keep the doctor fed." 

"You're too good to me," he winked sipping his juice,

Once breakfast was done I returned it to the kitchen and when I got back he was yawning 

"Ummm I needed a nap."

"A nap? You just woke up!" I laughed "I think they've got you working too hard if you're like this." I laughed,

"I can't help it, your place is so cosy. Plus the rain makes me sleepy." 

"Alright," 

I took his hand and took him back to bed, I gave him an extra couple of pillows and even an extra blanket tucking him in tight and kissing him on the head "There, That nice?"

"That's lovely," He blushed a little making himself cosy "Can I have a cuddle?"

"No, because then I'll fall asleep."

"Please dearest?"

I rolled my eyes a moment but crawled into bed and sat tapping my thigh, he happily moved and laid his head in my lap with a wide smile, I softly began to pet his hair taking my book from the table and reading to him, I know he struggles with his reading so I like to read to him sometimes let him just shut his eyes and listen and I know he likes it too as already he began to drift away, so once I knew he was asleep I kissed his little head and let him rest. 

I went and got dressed into one of my little day dresses that was comfy for a rainy day, I went to my desk and grabbed some paper writing some letters and notes that I needed to get working with.

Eventually, he sat up, "Humm?"

"Ohh Hello again." I laughed, 

"Hello, Dearest."

"Hello, Jack."

"How long was I asleep?"

"Uhhhh?" I pondered taking his watch from the table, "An hour."

"An Hour! Ohh sorry,"

"It's alright Jack you've been busy working I wanted to let you sleep." I smiled as I wrote with my fountain pen, He smiled and moved getting his pants and shirt on coming over as he snapped his suspenders on he came and sat beside me 

"What are you writing?"

"Just letters."

"Alright," he smiled as we sat together for a good while "You're so sweet and beautiful you know that?"

"Aww thank you Jack, you're very sweet and handsome too" 

"Can we have a cuddle?" 

"That would be lovely," I smiled 

we both moved closer and closer until he laid his head in my lap again,

"Cosy Jack?"

"Yep."

"Alright" I laughed getting on with my work petting his hair as I worked humming to myself a little I finished up after a while of writing until I noticed his little wheezes "Jack..."

"Mmm?" He groaned nuzzling closer and almost purring as had fallen asleep,

"Awww such a sleepy boy" I cooed "Wakey Wakey..."

He jumped a little sitting up as he realized he had fallen asleep on my lap,  "Humm? ohh..." He sighed "Sorry."

"You are so sleepy today Jack, Dr sneed been working you too hard?"

"A little," He yawned "It would help if he did some work sometime." 

"aww you poor thing,"

"Didn't help I've been getting up early these last few days," He cooed, "And you're just so very cosy and cuddly it just makes me so happy. I love you so much Y/n."

"Aww, I love you too Jack." I smiled kissing his cheek, 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course,"

"When we get married... do you want to have children?"

I smiled at his question, "I would, would you?"

"I very much would, How many?"

"Three." I smiled, "Two girls and a boy."

he chuckled, "I think that would be lovely,"

"Anything else? when we get married?" 

"A cute little house... with a garden."

"I'd like that Jack, and maybe a little dog for the children to play with."

"A very cute little dog." He smiled, "So I can wake up every morning give my sweet wife a kiss, pet the dog, go down and eat breakfast looking out to the garden and send the kids to school before I head to work." 

"That sounds like the most beautiful morning,"

"I know it will be" He smiled, 

"Do you think... I could cuddle in your lap some more?"

"No more lap jack you'll go back to sleep."

"Can you sit on my lap then y/n?" he asked, "Does my lap look better?"

I rolled my eyes a little and moved to sit myself on his leg so he could wrap his arms around me and my back against his chest, he chuckled and adjusted me a little so we were both cosy, and after a while he gave my shoulder a kiss 

"I can't wait till you're mine dearest."

"I can't wait either," I smiled, 

He then pressed one kiss to my neck, I blushed a little but didn't move, so he tightened his grip on me a little hugging me a little tighter and kissing my neck again only one little kiss but enough to make me feel so happy inside, He then took my hand in his and whispered in my ear "Can I stay with you today?"

"You're welcome to stay Jack, as long as you like."

he smiled a little and stroked my hair "I like you sat here."

"Why?"

"I get to hold you so close." He smiled bringing his face and lips into my neck he gently blew air across my skin before slowly pressing small kisses to my neck "Your skin is so soft" he whispered and I couldn't control my playful giggles he merely continued his kisses so slowly and calculated waiting patiently between each one, his kisses slowly grew more intense until as he kissed my neck his teeth graced my skin, not enough to bite me but enough to make me feel his teeth, he repeated this just slow soft kisses occasionally tenderizing my skin by gracing his teeth on it "Hmmm... do you like when I'm this close to you?" he whispered slyly 

"I do," I admit, 

He chuckled with a familiar sly grin, he continued his kisses now starting little nibbles on my skin pressing his teeth more meaningfully "Do you like these little nibbles on your soft lovely neck? Hmm?" He whispered 

"I do," I admit,

"Just one bite dearest?" he pleads running his nose across my neck before he continues his kisses and nibbles 

"Little ones," I whispered back,

He smirked and continued his bites gently barely anything between his kisses and nibbles which were getting very intense "You enjoying them? Hmm? Umm so soft... so sweet." He asked nibbling purposely on a more sensitive spot I couldn't answer him, so he kept nibbling and kissing for a while "Can I bite your neck once more dearest?" He whispered, "I just can't stop."

"You can." I gasped as now his bites became more aggressive leaving his teeth marks on my skin for a few seconds each time 

"Do you like my bites Y/n?" He whispered as he licked the spot he bit before kissing it again he would do this over and over up and down my neck like a vampire to my jugular, 

"Very much Jack," I almost moaned feeling him so close to me giving me such attention 

He continued with a prideful smirk, getting harder with his nibbles, kisses and bites. "I'm glad you're enjoying it." he smirked getting even harder "Hmmm..." He groaned leaving a hickey on my neck "How was that Dearest?" he asked licking his hickey 

"Ohh jack-" I gasped feeling him force a hickey into my skin he continued biting and nibbling my neck around my hickey to ensure my attention for it, "Uhhh! Jack!" I moaned twisting my fingers in his hair, which he took as a sign to get even more intense "Uhhhhh!" I moaned grabbing his hand that had been settled on my waist this whole time moving it under my dress to my thigh

"Ohh?" He smirked "That what you want y/n?" he whispered between kisses stroking my thigh higher and higher "Hmm? That what you want dearest?" he licked my hickey as he smirked and I could only nod, he teased me further stroking my hip under my dress "Ummm..." he groans now all but attacking my neck with kisses, bites, nibbles and licks. I could feel he was hard against my leg I tugged on his hair almost pulling his hair to bring him closer and he took the hint intensifying his work on my neck 

"Uhhh jack" I gasped moving his hand to where I so desperately needed him 

"Oh?"

"Please jack,"

he smirked and whispered deeply in my ear "Yes dearest." he smirked stroking my mound before rubbing on my throbbing clit 

"Uuhh uhhhh uhhhhhhh" I whined as he continued with my neck at the same time by now my neck looked as if I had been in a fight covered in hickeys and bite marks all down one side of my neck, not caring the marks he made just wanting to make us excited I moaned as he made a hickey on my most sensitive spot while he slipped his fingers inside me still rubbing my clit with his thumb but I clamped my hand over my mouth to stop my moan even if my eyes rolled back a little 

"Ohh..." He growled "Such a cute little thing," he cooed "Do you want me to stop?" he whispered and I shook my head "Alright," he smirked nibbling and kissing as his fingers worked but not fast enough I grabbed his wrist and tried to make his hand move faster but he pulled back "Ohh I see," he whispered nibbling my ear "Y/n..." he groaned kissing down to my collar bone and across my gasping chest giving him more space and more real estate to leave hickeys and bites, I tugged on his hair to pull his lips to mine for an intense make out till he pulled back "Let me see them."

"What?" I blushed but with my quick breaths my chest was rising and falling so fast his eyes lingered there 

"Let me see them," he growled "Let me see them y/n." He whispered in my ear making his fingers move much faster

"Uhhh Jack please!" I gasped I took his hand away and moved it to the ribbon tie of my dress I went to help him but he pushed my hand off

"I want to do it." he smirked, he then picked me up in his arms like a bride and carried me to bed laying me down on my back, he unlaced my dress making sure to be agonizingly slow before he tugged it off me leaving me naked on my bed, he smirked down at me pulling his suspenders down and threw his shirt to the side He gasped a moment before he took my hands resting them on his shoulders and letting me slide them down his chest "Feel how breathless I am for you, feel hour quickly my heart beats for you,"

"And feel how I do for you," I smiled and rested my wrist on his neck,

"Hmmm... you are more perfect than any other woman I have ever met" he gasped, "Are you sure you want me?"

"Yes Jack" I gasped, throwing my head back against the bed,

"That's all I need to hear Y/n,"

 He didn't need another word he pulled my legs up and open before tugging his trousers down, he stroked his hard shaft a couple of times before he held the base and guided himself inside me he groaned as he found his way, he held my hips a little raised as he was stood and I was laid on the bed to ensure the best pleasurable angle as he began his almost violent thrusts but this was normal for Jack, as the moment he's allowed to he will not control himself but I rather liked it, seeing him often so composed and calculated a slave to his hormones and needs, I didn't hold back my screams given often when we did this my family would be in bed or his colleagues on the side of a door but as we were alone I didn't have to hold my screams back, he didn't hold back his grunts and groans either which I found sexier then I like to admit, the bed creaking as he thrusted I knew I was close clawing down his back in desperation for the pleasure that was building and building and building until I hit it screaming and clamping my legs around him my eyes rolling back and my jaw hung open, pleasure rushing though my body jack kept going for a while but he was slower sloppier unable to control himself much longer until he moaned loudly and quickly pulled out sending his seed across my stomach, 

"Sorry y/n-"

"It's okay, we haven't had time alone in a while" I giggled, pulling his head into my chest to catch our breath for a while "Do you think you have the energy for more?" I asked tenderly stroking his shaft and he was still hard,

"More? you sure you want more?"

"More" I pleaded

"hmmm you're pretty cute when you beg,"

"Don't make me beg too much Jack you won't like me when I'm too... desperate," I smirked stroking his chest and his neck till I reached his hair and I tugged on it hard pulling his hair 

He smirked and chuckled at little at me pulling his hair slightly and biting his lip "Maybe I like you when you're desperate dearest." he smirked 

I pulled him down to kiss me pulling our lips into a heavy makeout before I pushed his head down 

"Ohh? All alright." He smirked as he began kissing and licking my clit as mercilessly as he did my neck 

"Uhhhhhh! Uuuuuuhh! Jack!" I squealed 

"ummmm! I love when you're loud for me Y/n" he growled as he began to suck, 

I did my best not to scream at the feeling of such intense pleasure but I pulled his hair so he came back to my face "I need you. Now." I half pleaded and half demanded 

"Really? You need me dearest? hmmm?" He smirked grinding himself against me as he had now gotten hard again, 

"Yes" I nodded grinding back on him "Jack, More, Please."

"Are you sure?"

"More!" I demanded digging my nails into his hips and flipping us over so he laid in the middle of my bed and I crawled over his lap 

"Ohh very demanding dearest." he smirked and I didn't hesitate to move to let him slip back inside me "uHhh fuck-" he gasped leaning on his hands to keep himself up a little, I didn't waste my time starting to ride him bouncing and grinding as fast as I could resting my hands on his stomach, he did his best to keep quiet smirking hard as he watched me ride him his hips working with me so we could move more intensely on one another, the bed springs creaking with each thrust and bounce but I didn't care, his eyes squarely on my breasts as I bounced "UUghhhh! I'm already close y/n!"

"Just a little longer Jack." I pleaded 

He smiled biting my neck a little as he took my hips and moved them even faster than I could on my own and he thrusted so hard up into me I had no choice but to squeal 

"UUghhhhhhh! JACK!" I screamed as I hit my wall of pleasure biting his neck as I did but he quickly threw me off onto the bed leaning his head back as he sent his seed across his stomach 

"Fuck- you were... certainly excited weren't you-" He groans gasping desperately given he just had two rounds without much break collapsing on the bed trying to get his head straight,

"I love you, Jack,"

"I love you too," He smiled 

I got up and fetched us both something to drink given we were both now tried and dehydrated, 

"You really like it when I nibble your neck don't you?"

"I do," I giggled,

"Hmmm maybe I'll start kissing and nibbling you again?"

"Really?"

"Yeah? That sound good dearest?" 

I smirked sitting up on my knees and stroking down his chest giving his shaft a few gentle strokes and rubs, 

"Ummm... yes?"

"Just testing."

"testing?" 

"If little Jack has enough energy for me." I cooed feeling him get hard again, 

"Always Y/n." He gasped, 

"Round three?" I asked innocently, 

"Fuck I love when your family isn't here." He smirked pulling me into a kiss I happily kissed back and then pulled back and turned my back to him looking at my pillows, he quickly came close his hands roamed my body squeezing my breasts a little before he pushed me to bend over and quickly pushing himself back inside me as he held my hips, "Uhhhhh Jack!" I smirked moving my hips back and forth to start our thrusts, and he wasted no time getting utterly merciless on me I had to keep my hands on the bed to keep my head from being thrusted into the pillow slightly giggling at the sound of our hips meeting over and over but it was often overshadowed by just how deep he could get like this, and after a while, he began to slow, "Don't slow down." I pleaded

"I'm already two shots down y/n. I'm not exactly got a lot of energy left." 

"Ughhh Jack!" I complained moving my hips myself to keep the speed the same, he moaned loudly and moved his hands from my hips to my breasts twisting my nipples as he mercilessly thrusted with enough to tip me over the edge "UHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yes! yes JACK!" I squealed doing my best to ride it out he tried to slow me but I just kept at the pace until his hips bucked quickly -

"Ughhhhhhh! fuck- " He groans forcing himself out and sending his seed across my back, "Sorry- sorry-" he gasped

"It's alright Jack." I smiled, cuddling up to him a little and giving him kisses "You're tired." 

He gasps fast and hard "You are an evil little thing when your horny y/n."

"I can't help it," I giggled "I love you so much"

"I love you too" He smiled playing with my hair 

"Jack..." I whispered after a while of resting 

"Yeah?"

"Again?" 

He chuckled a little "You evil little thing,"

"More." I cooed stroking his shaft and feeling him get hard again for me "Aww little Jack does have some more energy."

"You know I can't resist you." he smirked leaning on his elbows, "Go on then dearest."

I giggled and jumped on his lap this time with my back to him so he could play and tug on my hair as I bounced myself violently desperate for this burning ache to be cured I glanced over my shoulder at him and saw him gnawing at his lip trying desperately to keep his head straight he pulled my hair hard 

"Slow down dearest. you're gonna make me cum."

"Isn't that what you need?" I smirked jiggling my butt as I bounced 

"You know I do" he growled holding my hips and thrusting hard inside me 

"uhhhhhh Jack!" I squealed bouncing faster and harder he often pulled my hair to make me arch my back as I bounced until I began to rub my clit 

"AH ah ah!" He smirked slapping my hand off "That's my job." he smirked rubbing on my clit mercilessly which was enough to tip me over the edge squealing loudly and squirting down him, he let me ride it out moving hard and fast until he pushed me down onto the bed and sent his seed across the sheets "I love you so much y/n

"I love you too Jack" I smiled giving him a gentle kiss as we both lay sweaty, gasping trying to process ourselves, given the last... god knows how long we had been at this like literal rabbits.

Once I had the strength I climbed out of bed and went looking for where my dress ended up quickly slipping it on and fixing my hair having a drink after all that. when I looked back to the bed Jack was fast asleep so I let him rest for a while getting started on dinner, once it was cooking I went back up and found him still asleep so I giggled climbing onto the bed and onto his lap "Wakey wakey"

"Humm? Ohh sorry y/n I think I uhh I think I died for a minute" 

"Really?" I giggled giving him some water, 

"I did just cum four times... I'm surprised I didn't just pass out" he chuckled 

"That's true." I giggled "So.... dinner's cooking."

"Good, I'm starving after all that" he smiled giving me a kiss 

"So... it's gonna be about an hour?" I cooed stroking his chest 

He gasped a little his eyes widening "I'm gonna love marrying you aren't I?"

"Yes you will" I smirked tugging him into a kiss and dragging him down into bed with me...

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Hello!! I really like your writing, there is always such a nice level of care and comfort to your fics!!

I was hoping to request a wandanat x reader fic, where reader has chronic appendicitis and doesn’t realize it until she has to be rushed to the hospital from it getting so bad.

(Sorry this one is self indulgent because I had chronic appendicitis when I was younger, but I would also fake being sick to get out of school so when I actually had appendicitis my mom didn’t believe me. It would flare up like once every few months and just be the most debilitating painful thing I’ve ever experienced, made even worse when I had to try to walk and sit through school. She only finally believed something was wrong when I eventually had it on the weekend and immediately rushed me to the ER lol)

If you already have a fic like this or don’t wanna write it that’s so completely fine! Thank you and I hope you’re doing awesome!!! 💞

A Steady Decline

Pairings: Wandanat x R

Word count: 1.1K

Summary: Reader is in some weird pain. It feels like cramps from hell but its all wrong. What is it?

TW: Cramps, pain, surgery, mentions of injury, mentions of canon typical violence, pain medicine, needles (implied), hospitals, appendicitis

A/n Omg im so sorry this took so long, I have had so many requests and I finally got around to this one. Im sorry to everyone who’s waiting on requests and thank you all for being so patient with me :)

It started after a mission. It was a simple mission, and it went without injury so the pain didn’t make any sense. Maybe your period was coming early? What else would explain the weird cramping feeling in your midsection. But this felt slightly different. It's not where the cramps usually sat.

Walking off the quinjet behind Wanda and steve would normally be great after a mission with no injuries but your stomach really hurt. You plastered on a fake smile and did your best to stand at full height. Once you were clear of the jet Nat rushed over and pulled you and Wanda in for a hug.

“I miss you guys. How was the mission?” She said squeezing tight. You groaned softly and she immediately pulled away. Holding you at arm's length she scanned your body for injuries.

“Baby what’s the matter?” Nat said now in full spy mode.

“Yeah, love i didn’t see or hear anything about any injuries?” Wanda said looking both concerned and annoyed.

“Im fine. Just sore. Pretty intense fight with one of the stupid hydra agents.” You muttered and rolled your shoulders back to loosen the muscles. You winced as it moves your torso uncomfortably. Nat’s gaze narrowed but she let it go.

“If you're sure.” She said and Wanda seemed to dismiss it.

“Come on. I wanna shower before this debriefing.” Wanda said and grabbed your hand and started dragging you back to the shared room.

The pain seemed to settle, with the odd cramp and dull ache that had settled you were beginning to question if this really was your period or something else entirely. You pushed that thoughts away and began to strip for a shower. The heat of the water soothed your aching muscles but did little for the pain in your stomach. Was it your stomach? The pain seemed to almost be shifting to your lower right side. Your uterus didn’t move, did it? You almost laughed at the idea. Dismissing the thought.

After a warm shower you slipped on some tracksuits and a hoodie before throwing your hair into a messy bun and sliding on a pair of ratty old sneakers. They were old but you loved them to bits. Literally.

After brushing your hair, you went down to the briefing room now trying very hard to ignore the active pain that was shooting through your abdomen.

You ran your hands through your damp hair and hurried to your seat at the table. Resting your head on the desk you wrapped an arm around your midsection as you waited for the others to arrive. After a bit you heard footsteps and looked up to see the disapproving face of your redheaded spy girlfriend. Her arms were crossed as she looked you up and down her suspicions confirmed.

“Alright L/n whats going on? I know somethings up. Now spill.” She said.

“Im fine. Just … cramps … or whatever.” You said dismissively.

“Right…” she said slowly. “Cuz cramps make you all pale and sad.”

“Sad yes. Pale. No. Im not pale.”

“Yes. You are you-“ Nat began only to be cut off by your other girlfriend who came in.

“Whats going on?” Wanda asked, freshly showered.

“Y/n/n here is in pain and claims it's just cramps.” Nat said glaring at you with no real heat behind it. Wanda opened her mouth to speak but fury and steve entered and everyone took their seats.

You tried your best to pay attention, you really did but it hurt so bad. So so bad. You were curling in on yourself. And after a bit were fully zoned out.

Fury must have asked you something because there was a pause before Nat jabbed you in the ribs to get your attention.

However instead you curled in on yourself further, crying out and falling out of your chair. You didn’t really hear them tell Jarvis to get Bruce, you weren’t really present enough to remember the trip to the med bay. Or Bruce examining you while your girlfriends stood nervously by the door. You barely remember counting back as you breathed in the anaesthetisa. You just remember it hurting so much. Wanda and Nat were the last faces you saw before fading into darkness.

It was a soft darkness, kind of like an ocean. You floated around a bit and it felt nice. Spacey and soft. After a few seconds your conciseness faded all together and you drifted into a dreamless drug filled sleep.

But the next thing you knew, you woke in a white hospital room. There was a soft beeping of monitors as they measured your vitals. Based off the obnoxious sized poster of Ironman on the wall you knew you were in the tower's recovery ward. I mean of course it had one, with a team of superhero’s injuries were almost endless.

However, it was amusing Tony chose this room, or you assumed it was tony. This was the room where you met your girlfriends for a real introduction way back when pigs flew. It had been after a heat battle when you had stepped in and saved Wanda’s life. Who would have thought all these years later you would be back here. With them by your side again, but this time a whole new dynamic.

As you took stock of your surroundings you faintly realised the pain so much more tolerable. An IV was placed in the crook of your elbow with what you assumed was only the good stuff based off how buzzed and spacey your felt. Nat and Wanda were asleep either side of your bed each holding one of your hands. When you woke so did nat. Who immediately stood and brushed the hair from your eyes.

“Hey baby girl. How are you feeling honey?” She asked and you grinned back goofily.

“I feel great!” You slurred. Nat chuckled softly still carding her hands through your hair.

“Im sure your do love. Bruce has you on the strong stuff.” She said and Wanda made a noise as sat up rubbing her eyes.

“Morning sweetheart.” She said with a yawn “when did you wake up?”

“Natty woke me up.” You grinned and nat playful slapped your arm.

“No i didn’t you ass.” She said with a snort, and you gasped, clutching your arm in mock offence.

“Wands, she hit me.” You pouted and Wanda chuckled.

“Baby you kind of deserved it.” She said.

“Nooo. You're all ganging up on meee.” You whined and the two women chuckled.

You were stubborn as an ass and maybe the biggest flirt on the team. But Wanda and Nat would love you regardless, with or without an appendix.

MASTERLIST

[mynameismckenziemae]

Unbroken

Part 13

(previous part here, next part here)

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x You

Summary: The physical changes you’re experiencing are taking a toll along with the hormones and mood swings but Bradley is there to help.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Smut, oral (f receiving), spanking, a little humiliation, orgasm delay/denial, use of ‘good girl’, funishment, edging, p in v, pregnancy talk, body image talk, mentions of vomiting/morning sickness.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Nervousness creeps back shortly after the ultrasound as Bradley drives towards the clinic, but it was all for nothing; Gav and Noah are happy for you.

“See? I told you they’d be okay with it,” Bradley says, nudging you with his elbow.

“You were nervous to tell us?” Noah asks, concerned. “Why?”

“Because you’ll have to pick up some of the slack with some of the unpredictable animals, not to mention when I’m on maternity leave,” you sigh, already feeling guilty.

“Just like you happily picked up the slack when I was off for 6 weeks for paternity leave?” Gav asks, cocking a brow.

“Yeah, or when my kiddo had surgery last summer and you covered for me?” Noah asks, squeezing your shoulder. “We’re happy for you. Both of you.”

“Thanks,” you reply, giving them both a hug before running to the bathroom to rid your stomach of the crackers you consumed down early.

“I’m sorry,” you say as you come out of the bathroom, belly still uneasy. “Hopefully that gets better soon.”

“I hope so for your sake,” Gav says. “Olivia was sick every day until her second trimester. Now take the rest of the day and we’ll figure everything else out next week, okay?”

“Okay,” you agree, letting Bradley lead you towards the door. “Thanks.”

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

“Can we stop by my parent’s house before we go home?” You ask, wanting nothing more than to go home and take a nap but you know news gets around fast in a small town.

“Of course,” Bradley replies, turning towards your childhood home. “You sure you’re up to it though?”

“Yeah,” you say, leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder. “I want to be the one to tell them. Jake doesn’t stand a chance if Ma talks to him before we do.”

“Alright,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

“What’re you two doing here?” Ruth asks as she washes dishes by the sink. “Figured you outgrew playing hooky.”

You laugh. “I did. I haven’t been feeling good,” you reply, waiting for her to turn around as you hold up the ultrasound pictures in your ring-clad hand.

“Still?” She replies, turning off the water. “Maybe it’s time to make an appointment.”

“I already did,” you reply, smiling as she turns around, gasping at the images of her grandbaby.

“Tom! Get in here!” She calls to your dad out the open window before rushing over with a sob and a hug. “Oh Emma Lou, I’m so happy for you both!”

“Me too,” you agree, sniffing into her shoulder, crying now too. “That’s not all,” you say, pulling back to show her the ring.

She gasps, turning to Bradley and holding his face between her hands. “I knew it! I knew you were the one,” she smiles at him before wrapping him in a hug. “I’m so happy I get to call you my son.”

Your heart pinches and more tears flow as Bradley hugs her back; you wish now more than ever his parents were still here.

“What’s all this?” Tom asks, pausing by the door with a confused look.

You smile before filling him in on all the good news and you melt as your not-often-physically-affectionate dad hugs him.

“Happy to have you part of the family, son,” he says, clapping Bradley on the back as he fails to discreetly wipe his eye before making his way to you.

“Congrats kiddo,” your dad smiles as he wraps you in his arms for a hug. “You doing okay?” He murmurs, and you can tell he’s remembering the last time.

“I am now that the initial shock wore off,” you nod. “The morning sickness is kicking my ass and I’m so tired, but otherwise everything looks good.”

“Good,” he replies, holding you a little longer.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

The nausea wanes over the next week, while your libido multiplies tenfold. You’re craving rough, hot sex, but Bradley’s treating you like you’re made of glass and it’s driving you crazy.

“That’s the most action I’ve had in 2 weeks,” you grumpily tell Bradley at your first OB appointment as you change back into your clothes after the pelvic exam.

“Em, I-“ Bradley starts but is interrupted by the doctor coming back into the room.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

“I’ll see you back in about 4 weeks then, let me know sooner if you need anything, okay?” The doctor says as she opens the door.

“Sounds good,” you reply, rising from your seat. “Thanks.”

“Why don’t you go ahead and make your next appointment, I just remembered a question I had,” Bradley says, kissing your cheek.

You agree, not thinking much of it until he joins you a few minutes later, cheeks ruddy and the tips of his ears red.

“What was your question?” You ask, now a little suspicious as you take the appointment card from the receptionist.

“Uh, I…“ he stammers as he opens the door to your truck. “I just want to make-“

He’s saved by his phone ringing. “Sorry, I’ve gotta take this, it’s my CO.”

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Your mood sours on the short drive home. The worst part is you know you’re being irrational but you can’t help it.

Bradley finishes the call when he pulls into your driveway and you get out, slamming the door before he gets a chance to open it.

“Em! Hey! What’s wrong?” He asks, jogging up behind you.

Your hands shake as you try and unlock your door and you shake his off when he places them on your waist.

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong,” you lie with a huff, pushing the door open.

“Doesn’t seem that way,” he says softly, closing the door behind him. “I’m sorry, but I kind of have to take the call when it’s my CO.”

“I know, it’s not that,” you reply, frustratedly wiping hot tears. “I just want to have sex. I want you to want me like you did before I was pregnant. I know I was sick and I’ve been tired and I know my body is already changing and my boobs are getting huge and you can’t help it that you’re not attracted to me but-“

You gasp in surprise when he cuts you off with a deep, biting kiss. One hand weaves into your hair while the other slides down your back, into the pocket of your jeans, and pulls you into him so you can feel his hot, hard length.

You whine when his hand tightens the grip in your hair and he pulls you off his lips, forcing you to look at him. You shiver at the dark look in his eyes. “Does this,” he rocks against you and your eyes begin to drift but he pulls again until you open them, “feel like I’m not attracted to you?”

You shake your head as much as you can with the tight hold on your hair and bite your lip to keep from moaning.

This. This is what you’ve been craving.

“Exactly,” he groans as your hand comes up to palm him through his jeans. “Goddamn Em, the past 2 weeks have been killing me. I’ve wanted you more than ever. You’re somehow even sexier but I wanted to get the okay from the doctor before we did anything because of your previous loss.”

“That’s what you were asking the doctor? Why didn’t you tell me that?” You ask softly, hand pausing.

He nods, face flushing again. “Yeah, wanted to make sure what we used to do isn’t going to hurt anything. I also didn’t want you to think I was pressuring you, especially since I thought you didn’t want it,” he replies, kissing your forehead.

“Well I do want it,” you say, leaning back in for a kiss. You smile against his lips when he groans as you begin palming him again. “So fucking much.”

“And you’ll get it,” he murmurs and sighs before stilling your hand with reluctance, “but there’s something I gotta do first.”

“What’s that?” You ask, squeezing him before he pulls your hand away completely.

“You’ll see,” he replies with a nip to your bottom lip. The look on his face is full of dark, dirty, delicious promises. “Now go get undressed. I want you naked and on the bed when I come in,” he murmurs, turning you towards the bedroom before landing a slap to your jean-clad bottom. “Don’t make me wait.”

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

“Yes sir,” you say teasingly over your shoulder, catching the heat that crosses his expression at your words.

Once you’re out of his line of sight, you quickly peel off your clothes before lying back on the bed. The anticipation is making you desperate and your hand slips between your thighs, gathering your arousal before circling your clit.

You choke back a moan when your other hand brushes your oversensitive nipples; the light touch has your back arching as your release races toward you. A minute more of those sweet touches combined with the thought of Bradley catching you in the act is enough to push you over the edge. You bite your lip to stay quiet, tasting blood as you tremble through wave after wave of pleasure.

Bradley’s soft “fuck” startles your eyes open. The sight of him naked, gripping the base of his cock so he doesn’t cum has you rubbing your thighs together.

“Sorry,” you say sheepishly, as your head falls back to the pillows, “I couldn’t wait anymore.”

“Obviously,” he smirks, coming to the foot of the bed once he’s got himself under control. He grips your ankles and you squeal when he pulls you toward him.

He leans forward and licks into you with a satisfied hum. “God, you taste so fucking good,” he murmurs against you before flicking your clit and rising to his full height. “I was planning on making you cum before I do this, but you already did.”

“Before you do what?” You ask as he helps you to your feet.

But he ignores your question, instead kissing you like before. Again his hand combs into your hair while the other grasps the flesh of your ass. He kisses you deeply and possessively, leaving you breathless when he pulls you off him.

“What…what are doing?” you ask as he turns you around before bending you over.

A sharp slap to your ass steals the breath from your lungs.

“Something I should’ve done a long time ago,” he says sternly as he rubs the sting out before laughing. “I’m kidding. Is this something you still want to try?”

A new wave of arousal rushes between your legs as you nod.

You whimper as he slaps your other cheek. “Use your words.”

“Yes, I want to try…this,” you answer.

Another stinging slap has you gasping.

“I said, use your words,” he repeats lowly, spanking you again.

“Yes! I want you to spank me,” you admit before burying your burning face in the comforter.

“There’s my good girl,” he purrs, and you squirm as he ruts against you. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

“No,” you admit, turning your head to smirk up at him. “That wasn’t hard, but you sure are.”

He chuckles before giving you a few more sharp slaps. “Naughty girl.”

“Am not,” you laugh but it turns into a moan when he spanks you again, a bit harder this time.

Soon the heat from your burning skin settles lower between your legs and your slick coats your thighs. You’re again desperate for relief; the vulnerable position he’s put you in, the dominance that’s radiating off him and the naughtiness from it all is driving you crazy in the best way.

“I’m sorry for touching myself before you came in. Will you please fuck me now?” You rasp after he cups you with a groan, feeling how affected you are.

“Hmm,” he pretends to think about it as he licks his fingers clean before slotting his weeping cock between your reddened cheeks. “Not yet.”

You try to rub your thighs together for some friction, groaning in frustration when he gently kicks your ankles further apart.

“You’re in trouble for more than just touching what’s mine,” he murmurs, leaning forward to kiss the knobs of your spine. His voice grows softer as he continues, “I don’t ever want to hear you say that I’m not attracted to you again. I’ll always want you; next week, in 8 months, when you’re delivering our baby, afterward, in 50 years…forever. Okay?”

“Okay,” you say, blinking back the tears filling your eyes. “Now will you fuck me?” You ask, breaking the heaviness as you push back towards him.

He laughs at your attempts against your back before lining himself up and slowly pushing in.

“Ye-no! Please baby,” you whine when he pulls out before he even gets all the way in.

“Not yet,” he says again with a dark chuckle before giving you a few more stinging swats.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Bradley finally relents when your legs begin to tremble nearly an hour later. An hour that felt like an eternity with the sweet torture he’s put you through. Alternating between gentle pinches and tugs of your nipples as he fucked you with slow, shallow thrusts, pulling out again when you were on the cusp of release just to re-redden your ass before kneeling to lick up the wetness coating your thighs. He reveled in the anguished cries you made when he denied you again before repeating the cycle.

“P-please, oh God…please,” you plead when he finally thrusts all the way inside you. “No more teasing.”

“Alright. No more teasing,” he agrees, panting against your back as his hand slides over your side to find your breast to gently pinch your nipple. “You-fuck! You’re so good for me.”

Your hoarse scream is muffled by the comforter as an orgasm rips through you.

Bradley curses as you contract around him, slowing his thrusts so he doesn’t cum yet.

“More,” you mumble, pushing your hips back against his before you even come down. “One more.”

“Okay, my greedy girl,” he laughs breathlessly, sliding his hand down to rub over your clit. “I’ll give you one more.”

“I’ll do this,” you say, moving his hand to your hip and putting your own fingers where his just were. “Just fuck me hard. I wanna feel it tomorrow.

“Fuckkkk,” he groans hotly when you squeeze him as you find your clit. “Yeah, yeah, okay,” he agrees, finally giving you what you’ve been craving with deep, punishing thrusts.

“Like that, yes! Just like that,” you cry, each roll of his hips rubbing your g-spot.

“G-get there for me,” Bradley pants as he pulls you up, your chest against his back. Your head falls back to his shoulder as you approach the edge. “Yeah, that’s my girl,” he rasps when you begin to tighten around him.

You gasp as your vision goes white and your ears ring as you cum harder than ever have before. Bradley’s right there with you, unable to hold off when you clench around him like a vice.

He cums with a choked shout of your name as he releases deep inside you.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

A/N: Welllllllll the cat(s) are out of the bag. This was very much my experience pregnant-super hormonal and my mood changed so fast I gave my husband whiplash 🥴 the whole body image thing was a page from my own book as well, but of course Bradley knows just how to reassure her.

Also-Bradley definitely asked the doctor if rough sex would hurt the baby after doing an extensive Google search 😂

Also also-I’m wrapping this one up! 1 more chapter (I’m thinking at least).

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in comments/reblogs!

Tagging (please let me know if you want to be added/removed!):

@mamamaystbr

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd5

@charmedkim

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

@hookslove1592

@amiets2

@nero4te

@eli2447

@atarmychick007

@vixenobrian

@86laura11

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@dempy

@angelbabyyy99

@buckysteveloki-me

@djs8891

@mizzzpink

@daggerspare-standingby

@mrsevans90

@littlezee80

@emma8895eb

@jessicab1991

@devil-angel-winchester

[lighthouseofstories]

Ocean's Sorrow Pt 2

02.08.23

TW: Body mutilation, Depression, Ace's overwhelming guilt, Imprisonment.

The time seems to endlessly drag on, your food is delivered to you once in a while. But with the state of your throat, you barely manage to get anything down apart from the water. 

Living several days in the dark, with barely any food and water and now your throat wound, you feel sick. All you manage to do is lay on the floor and take in gasping breaths, your body feels like it is on fire and you are so tired.

Is this it? Is this how you will die? Everyone… You really miss them. 

Just then you hear a commotion from where the doorway is located and suddenly see an explosion of fire. 

“Ace…” His name appears in your head as your strength finally leaves you and your eyes close. 

Ace can do nothing as he watches you sleep in the infirmary bed, iv in your arm and bandages wrapped around your throat. He sits there tightly squeezing  your hand, reassuring himself that you haven’t left the world of the living, that you are still with him. 

He hears a sigh behind him and then a hand squeezes his shoulder. “Ace, this isn’t your fault yoi. I’m sorry we were unable to find her faster.”

Ace tightly shuts his eyes but lightly shakes his head. “If I was able to come back sooner.. Maybe there would be something I could do…”

Knowing the difficulty that Ace is facing right now, Marco just closes his eyes and walks out of the infirmary, giving Ace time alone with you. The whole crew was suffering at the news of what was done to you but Marco knows that none of them no more than Ace.

Ace brushes some hair out of your face with his free hand and then sighs heavily as he gets himself comfortable in the chair. 

Ace is later woken up by the feeling of movement and a slight tugging on his hand. He groggily straightens up and sees you struggling to sit up. 

“Careful! Marco says you shouldn’t overexert yourself!” Ace frets as he helps you to sit up concern painting his face. 

He watches you with red swollen eyes as your eyes scrunch up and ran along the bandage on your throat, your eyes questioning. 

Ace’s rough hands gently pull yours away and then he tightly grips them. “Don’t try to talk, it will cause you pain and can open up your wound again. Marco told me everything that happened once we returned to the ship with you. They~” 

Ace’s voice breaks and he stops to take a deep breath, one of his hands letting go of yours to rub at his eyes, but a few tears still escape. 

“They cut your vocal cords out. They also did such a botched job of it that the wound was infected and without more surgery, your life would be in danger. Marco had to perform surgery on you immediately just to make sure you wouldn’t die from complications. You’ll have to eat soup for a few weeks to get your throat to heal. Marco will check up on you daily and don’t worry, we dealt with those bastards so no one else has to suffer.”  

Ace just continues to talk and talk, his voice getting more and more choked up until he buries his head in your lap and breaks into sobs the sound breaking your heart. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I was away, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to search for you from the start, I’m sorry~” 

Unable to take the pain he’s going through anymore, you cut him off by hugging him, tears spilling out of your own eyes. Not being able to talk, You try to get Ace’s attention by squeezing his hand. You point at him and then at yourself, shaking your head, hoping desperately to try to get your meaning across, that this was not his fault. 

Ace looks at you and his eyes widen before he crushes you to him and burying his head in your neck lets out a wail of pain. He put you through this, he couldn’t rescue you on time and you still don’t blame or hate him. Ace just doesn’t understand, he doesn’t deserve such a forgiving person in his life. 

The two of you just stay this way, tightly holding onto each other, both sharing your pain and reassuring yourselves that you have each other and this is not a dream.

With Marco’s daily checkups and mothering and his healing flames, your wound healed in no time. But the psychological trauma and problems as a result of having no vocal cords remain. You struggle to eat anything that isn’t soup or a liquid, and there are instances where you try to talk but like cold water being dumped over you, comes the reminder that you can’t. 

Your crew and your family are all doing their best to be there for you and help you, Ace is glued to you 24/7 but you just don’t know how to move on from here. Marco is trying to research if there are ways for you to talk again, but for now, using a pen and board is incredibly frustrating. Not to mention that if you ever do find a way to talk once more, singing is something which you will never be ever to do again. 

You always thought you’ll grow up and be able to sing to any children you might have same as your mother and grandmother did to you, but that dream was also ripped away from you. 

Hiding in the room you share with Ace, you hug your knees and let yourself freely cry for the first time in days. Trying to stay strong in front of everyone has taken its toll on you. 

The door gently creaks open and you look up to see Ace with a worried expression on his face. “I thought I’ll find you here. I brought you some tea to drink.” 

You smile at him and sniff as you go to curl up in Ace’s arms. Automatically his hands starts brushing through your locks, the feeling soothing. 

There’s silence between you for a while before Ac gently starts to sing, “Yoho ho ho, yoho ho, making a delivery of Bink’s sake across the sea. Sea wind blows, who knows where? The waves will be our guide.” 

You smile widely at the song that Ace is singing. Sad you can’t sing along but at least you can clap along and smile. 

Once he finishes the song he apologises, “Sorry, my voice is no match for yours. But at least it made you smile a bit.” Ace says sheepishly as he nuzzles into your hair. 

You shake your head and sign to him that it lifted your mood. 

Ace smiles widely at that, “Then, whenever you want, whatever song you want, I will sing it for you. I might not be a very good signer, but if it cheers you up then that’s all that matters.” 

You smile and enthusiastically nod your head. You might not be able to sing again and that brought you more pain than imaginable, but at least with Ace around, you will still hear music when you miss it.

[lancermylove]

Teen MC 34: Influenced by the Internet (HC)

Fandom: Obey Me

Pairing: Demon Bros x gn!Reader, platonic

Warning: Language

Requested by: Anon

Prompt: Could I request Obey Me headcanons for a teen mc who's being groomed on the internet? I know this sounds like and odd topic but something I feel is really prevalent is the stuff that teens these days do online and the lack of intervention from adults. Teens just shouldn't be dating online and it's so sad to see how their manipulated.

A/N: Anon, I can't agree with you more. It's sad to see how kids/teens are exploited without realizing it. I know you said you meant both the formal definition and internet trend, but writing for the formal definition of grooming is disturbing for me. I honestly can't even fathom how sick-minded people can be. I will treat your request as MC closely following different internet/trends.

Series: [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25][26][27][28][29][30][31][32][33]

———————————————

Lucifer heard you crying and asked what happened? He was worried they were injured or someone had said something to them.

But he wasn't expecting MC to say their nose was too big, their skin had textures, and their figure was not on trend.

"I need surgery to make my nose smaller...and stop eating and exercise more. Is there a way to get rid of skin texture? Maybe I should ask -"

"(Y/n), you are fine as you are. Would you kindly stop belittling yourself?" Lucifer sat down beside you and squeezed your hand between his hands. "You may not believe me, but you are perfect. Your nose suits your face. Your skin texture adds to your beauty. Your body is beautiful. There is no need to follow trends. Follow what makes you content, not to suit the unnecessary standards of insecure people."

Lucifer never understood trends but didn't bother to stop Asmo. Now, though, seeing you following the same trends bothers him much more than he wants to admit. Lucifer refuses to let you look down on yourself - your beautiful self.

Mammon raised an eyebrow and pressed an ear to your door. What were you watching? Why did it sound like...oh hell nah.

He kicked open your door and ran straight for you, not giving you enough time to react. He stared at your screen in horror.

"(Y/n)...why are ya watchin' things meant for adults? How did you learn 'bout this?"

You rolled your eyes and told him you were already a teenager, which meant you were practically an adult. "Besides, everyone my age is watching stuff like this all the time."

"Well, you ain't everyone. (Y/n), you're different than 'em...so don't go around comparin' yourself to 'em," Mammon sighed and shut the laptop but not before exiting the rated site. "You ain't gotta do what others do - you've your own mind and thoughts...you're your own individual. I'm not tryin' to lecture ya or anythin', but (y/n), enjoy the innocent times while ya still have 'em. 'Cause when ya get older, you're goin' to wish you were back to these times...so enjoy it while ya still can, y'know."

Mammon set your laptop in front of you and met your eyes, "Also, I ain't gonna tell Lucifer 'bout this, but if you go onto these kinds of sites again, I'm gonna tell him."

Levi went to get a glass of water in the kitchen, but as he passed your room, he heard you say, "So in today's video, I will hang myself from this noose and see how long I can stay."

He ran into your room, only to find you standing on a small stool pretending to hang from the noose. What were you doing?

A few days later, he found you in the woods with torn clothes and muddy makeup, making a video about how poor you were. He was confused but didn't think much.

Nothing made sense to him until he found your social media account. Were you doing all this for clout? Were you lying to your audience just to get likes and views?

Levi almost brushed it aside as you were trying to make it on social media, but then he saw the comments. Most of the comments were criticizing the demon brothers for not taking care of you.

It finally clicked. For the past two weeks, he and his brothers got hateful looks and nasty glares whenever they went outside. No one knew what was happening, not even Lucifer. He brought this up to Diavolo, but even the prince was clueless.

"(Y/n), can you stop?" Levi was nervous about confronting you alone but had to get answers.

"Stop what?"

"Making posts for clout. Did you s-see the comments? Everyone is looking down on us..."

"Who cares what they say? Just ignore them! My videos are getting so popular. Did you see how many likes and comments I got on my last video?"

Were likes and comments the only things that mattered to you? You were destroying their reputation and hurting them as well. They worked hard to build their reputation in Devildom, but that didn't matter to you, did it?

Levi quietly dragged his feet out of your room. He needed to tell his brothers before things got worst, but you will get mad at him. Why did he have to be the one to find out the reason the truth?

"You fckng b*tch."

Satan stared at you with wide eyes. Since when did you start using such language?

"Your outfit is just like your face. Ugly."

That was uncalled for. He watched the poor lady you criticized walk away with tears in her eyes. Where did the (y/n) he knew go, and who was this new person?

'You are such a bad actor. No one likes you, and your movies are horrible. Find a bridge and jump off.' Satan watched over your shoulder as you posted that comment on the actor's recent post.

Okay, this was crossing the line. Day in and out, he heard you using cuss words, trolling people online, and roasting everyone around you, including his brothers.

"(Y/n), what enjoyment do you get from hurting others?"

"Hurting? What are you talking about?"

"You just told the actor to take his life..." Satan furrowed his brows.

"I don't have anything against the actor. This is just how people talk today - it's on trend."

"And the day you told the lady her outfit was ugly like her face?"

"She asked for my opinion, so I roasted her."

"And when you cuss others out?" He curiously asked.

"It's cool to use cuss words," you laughed.

So that was it, huh? You were hurting others and demeaning them because it was trendy and to seem cool. Did you forget people had feelings? Your words had the power to hurt them? What if the actor actually listened to your comments and jumped off the bridge then what?

Satan massaged his temples as he felt a headache coming on. He had to figure out how to teach you an unforgettable lesson, so you would stop following useless and mean trends.

Asmo was all about being charming, cute, and seductive when needed, especially when it came to his social media posts. There's nothing wrong with giving your followers a little fan service. But what you were doing was unacceptable, even for him.

"Why are you doing this, (y/n)?" He asked uncomfortably.

"What? The thirst traps? I'm adding a little oomph for my followers. What's wrong with that?"

"You are not an adult...and there are creeps out there who might be misusing your content..."

"That's not my problem. I am following my heart, and there's nothing wrong with that," you huffed. "Why do you care anyways?"

"I do care. About you and your well-being...at least wait until you are a legal adult."

"Don't lecture me, Mom. I'm done talking about this."

Asmo watched you stomp out of his room while biting down on his lower lip - your behavior almost had him in tears. He needed to talk to his brothers about this.

"No, I don't want to eat that..."

"Are you feeling okay?" Beel asked, concerned. "Your...taste has changed, and you're a picky eater...did something happen?"

"No. Oh, Beel! Let's go to that cafe."

Even at the cafe, you were more interested in taking photos of the food than eating it. Beel watched you in confusion but brushed it aside until you took one bite of the sandwich and winced. Despite not enjoying the taste, you continued to eat it.

"Why are you forcing yourself to eat something you don't like? I can finish it for you..."

You shook your head, "This sandwich is trending on social media, so I have to eat it."

Your words made no sense to him. Why were you eating something you disliked just to follow a trend? Your food choice should be based on your liking, not what social media tells you to eat. "(Y/n), are you only eating trending food?"

"Yup! I want to feel included."

Beel sighed. That was far from healthy. He wondered if Solomon's cooking became a trend tomorrow, would you still eat it?

Belphie was asleep on your shoulder and woke to find you texting someone.

You were a little too friendly, but he assumed you were talking to your close friend. Then you switched to a different chat and were just as friendly.

"(Y/n)...who are you talking to? Your friends...?"

"Nope. They are strangers?"

He sat straight up and stared at you with wide eyes. "Haven't you heard of stranger danger?"

"That's stupid."

"But (y/n)...you are giving out personal information..."

"You are overthinking."

"No, (y/n)," Belphie sighed, "That's not okay. People aren't as nice as you think. They might try to take advantage of you..."

"Belphie, I know what I'm doing. OMG! Stop lecturing me."

After that response, Belphie didn't say anything and excused himself. He half wanted you to learn your lesson the hard way but didn't want you to have permanent scars.

He plans to talk to his brothers later to figure out how to scare you to get you to understand the possible consequences of your actions.

———————————————

➣  Obey Me Masterlist: [1][2] ➣ Main Masterlist

➣ Buy me a Ko-fi? ➣ Commission: Open || Requests: Closed

[calliecat93]

I have been released home.

So long story short on what happened, about this time last week I realized I was feeling pain. I assumed it was indigestion, then I got sick. Like... violently sick. We thought maybe I'd caught a stomach bug going around, but the pain got to the point that I decided to go to the ER. Good thing I did, because I had pancreatitis. Essentially my everything hurt, eating and even sipping water hurt or made me sick, and even just scrolling on my phone would send my senses into overload. I have NEVER gotten sick to that level or EVER had to be hospitalized in my 31 years of life, so needless to say this along with my phobia of hospitals in general and past experience did NOT do me well.

My gallbladder had to be removed, which thankfully won't affect me too much. I'm tired and sore, but the pain is gone and it doesn't feel like breathing is setting me on fire. It was... scary, that's all I'll say about my feelings about the whole thing right now. I will say that every single doctor, nurse, etc were so freakin' kind and went above and beyond to make me feel as comfortable as I could. The surgeon even came to make sure I was recovering okay after the surgery. Medical workers are some of the most amazing, hard-working people in the world and they do all of this for far, FAR too little. Always try to be kind and gracious to them, they deserve it so SO much.

Needless to say, I wasn't feeling like doing much of anything despite the sudden amount of free time I suddenly had. It might be a bit before I'm fully back to my usual online shenanigans, I'm taking it day by day and taking it nice and slow. With the surgery, this can't happen again and hopefully I won't have anymore medical emergencies for a long, LONG time. But for now, I'm back and we're gonna try to resume the normal routine.

[bawltongue]

(jonathan davis x stealth transmasc reader <on t, post op top surgery>. takes place in early 90s. you unexpectedly meet jd in the bathroom after a show, attempting to comfort him after he gets sick, only for Jon to comfort you in return)

18+ !!!!!!!

warning: substance use (alcohol, marijuana), vomit mentioned, smut, (ftm) anatomy, lots of swearing

Jonathan davis x transmasc reader

You couldn’t believe you had the opportunity to finally see your favorite band in person. Korn had been high up on your radar for a couple years now, and seeing them perform live seemed like a dream. Initially, it felt kind of weird to be there on your own. Usually you would’ve preferred to go to a concert with a friend, but when the chance to buy a ticket arose, all you could think about in the moment was securing your spot. This was special.

The performance had been going on at this point for a good hour and forty five minuets, and you had been animalisticly screaming along the lyrics to each song the entire time. Your voice was pretty blown out, cracking and fading, borderline inaudible; but the music was so loud, nobody could hear you anyways. Either way, it’s not like you’d care if anybody could hear you. Your focus was so heavily fixated on Jonathan, nobody else mattered. His vocals, the way he moved and flipped his hair, the sweat gleaming off of his body. For quite a few moments, you zoned out in your fixation and it felt as if you two were the only ones present.

The crowd of people filed out of the venue steadily as the songs went on. Before the middle of the show, nearly everybody was already a sweaty, drunken, fucked up mess. It was about 3 AM when Korn played their last song, and a good eighty percent of the crowd had left before the end of it. Understandably so; the venue was small, un air conditioned and dark. It reeked of vomit, cigarettes, beer, a tinge of piss, and anything else pungent you’d smell at a metal concert full of wasted 20 somethings. Though you were so immersed in the music, the beauty and finesse of the band members… the odors and obnoxious sounds of the onlookers around you didn’t permeate your high of being so close to the men you’ve looked up to and religiously listened to for so long. Nothing could kill this feeling of happiness and awe… until-

Wait, no fucking way. They just finished playing the last song. They’re walking off stage? No, fuck. It’s over? Already?

The post concert depression hit you almost immediately as it felt like you had simply blinked and the members of Korn were exiting the stage. You played it cool and clapped and shouted just like everyone else did, but damn if tears didn’t well up in your eyes a little bit. You took a deep breath, looked around the venue and realized you were the last one clapping. Not only that, but you were also the last one not making their way out yet. The adrenaline buzzing through your body started to fade as you realized how out of breath, uncomfortable and hot you were.

“Yo, there a bathroom in here?” You got the attention of what looked to be an employee, maybe a bodyguard of some sort.

“Yeah, mens’ is right over there.” He gestured to a puny, dimly lit hallway in the back of the venue.

You nodded your head in thanks and turned as a coy smile spread across your lips. You’ve been passing for a while now, but it never stops feeling good to be validated as a man.

You made your way to the restroom and over to a sink to splash some water on your face. The room temperature liquid felt ridiculously relieving on your sticky skin. The water got all over the front of your shirt, but was indistinguishable from all the sweat you had exuded during the evening.

“URRGHHUA-“ The sound of a guttural heave followed by somebody spitting into a toilet made your eyes bulge open in surprise. You thought you were the only person in the restroom.

“Ugh, fuck me-“ Followed by another harsh gag echoed through the bathroom.

“Hey man, uh, you okay?” You stuttered out somewhat nervously. You weren’t really one to start conversation with strangers, but you were a sympathetic person more than anything. Plus, the exhaustion you felt kind of drowned out any feelings of profound anxiety.

“Oh shit, yeah. Sorry man, haha, that probably sounded really fuckin’ gross.” The disembodied voice responded, slightly slurring his words. “I’m just drunk as hell… you mind uh, helping me out maybe?”

You glanced down under the stall to see long legs awkwardly sprawled out on the dirty floor. Stained black adidas sweats attached to what you assumed was a torso hunched over the toilet. The sleepiness and mild disconnect humming in your brain after such an intense night made it so you couldn’t connect the dots between the familiar voice and pants.

The lock clicked and the door slightly creaked open, but not enough for you to see who was in the stall. Taking a couple steps over, with no second thought, you pulled the door outward to offer a helping hand.

“Oh fuck!-“ Choking on a sharp gasp, Jonathan Davis’ glazed, red tinted eyes met with your own. You felt a rush of heat fill your body as blush spread across your face. Jonathan Davis of Korn was probably the last person you were expecting to see sitting on the floor of a filthy bathroom at 3:20 in the morning. Asking for your help. He raised his eyebrows up at you curiously, outstretching a shaky hand.

“You’re staring. Do I got barf runnin’ down my lip or something?” He smiled goofily, gesturing again for you to take his hand and help him up.

“Sorry, I just- I’m totally surprised to see you! I’ve been a fan for so motherfucking long. I’m kinda like- whoa- I mean, you played such a badass show-” You stuttered, hurriedly bending down to take his arm over your shoulders. You tried to play it cool, but felt pretty embarrassed over your inability to keep your fanboying to a low. His legs shook a bit as you hoisted him up off of the floor and to his feet. He was taller then expected. Taller then you at least.

He chuckled in response to your comment, turning his head toward you. You felt his breath on your face; it fucking reeked. Yet it caused your heartbeat to increase even more then it already had.

“Thank you. You know, I think I noticed you from the stage. I swear I saw you going fuckin’ crazy during Faget.” He smiled warmly and took a wobbly step toward the sink, arm still wrapped over your shoulders as you helped him steady himself.

“Yeah, heh. I just get into it, man. I love your music… Shit I won’t lie, I’m a little bit embarrassed.”

He took his arm from around your shoulders and balanced himself on the sink, turning the faucet on. He cupped his hand to catch water and looked at you through the mirror while hunched over.

“No need to be embarrassed. That’s the kinda shit I live for. I appreciate it a lot.” He took a sip of water from his hand before swishing it around his mouth and spitting it back out. His eyes rolled back slightly as he splashed water on his face, letting it drip back into the sink. You stood behind him anxiously, rocking back and forth not knowing what to say.

“You seem pretty nervous. I got something that might make you feel better, if you wanna head out back with me?” He asked, turning around to face you suddenly, stumbling a bit in the motion. You tensed up, meeting his gaze.

Is he asking me to hang out right now?

“You want me to come out back with you? Like now?”

He chuckled softly and put his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“Yeah, like now. If that’s cool with you. I kinda like your presence… I dunno, I’m drunk man. It’d be cool to hang with someone new.” Jon bit his lip and raised his brow as his gaze darted between your lips and back up to your eyes for a moment. It made your face grow hot. “Besides, what else is there to do?”

“Well shit, you make a good point. I’d fuckin’ love to chill with you man.” You felt his grip on your shoulder tighten slightly as you agreed. He grinned widely, still pretty intoxicated as he slung his arm over your shoulders once again. Leading the way out of the restroom, you both made your way out of a door next to the stage area that spat you out on the side of the building. The thick scent of weed and cigarettes smacked you in the face as the door swung open. Honestly smelled pretty damn good compared to the interior of the venue.

“Aw fuck yeah, my man Head never fails me.“ Jon pulled you over to a bench that had a little baggie sitting on it. “Let’s sit, hm?”

You both sat down, Jonathan picking the bag up and emptying the contents in his hand. A perfectly rolled joint and a bright red lighter. Head had obviously left it there for Jon, knowing he’d be coming out after his puketastic bathroom adventure.

“I want you to take the first hit.” He held the joint up to your lips between his fingers.

“You sure? I feel bad smoking your weed, you don’t even know me. I mean I appreciate it of course, but-“ You were interrupted by the click of a lighter.

“I’m sure. I’m gonna know you soon anyways, right?”

You shrugged and inhaled, the familiar taste of smoke filled up your mouth. The second your lips peeled away from the joint, Jon took a huge hit, leaning his head back and blowing it straight up. You couldn’t help but stare dumbly at him as smoke poured out of your mouth. Him throwing his head back like that made risky things run through your mind.

Hit after hit, you lost track of how much the two of you had smoked due to how stoned you became with each exhale. Between sharing the joint, you had conversation about where you’re from, what hobbies you guys have, favorite music, what high school was like; general ‘getting to know each other’ talk. You just couldn’t fully believe you were having casual conversation with Jonathan fucking Davis. Though the higher you got, the easier it was to converse.

“Shit, you know what? You listened to me throw up, saw drool fall outta my mouth, we smoked half of my joint, and I don’t even know your name.” Jon stared at you, his eyes as beet red as your own. The sight made you giggle.

“It’s Y/N. Damn, I’m high as fuck.”

He laughed out loud, his smile causing his eyes to squint. He had such a cute laugh, not what you would’ve expected judging by his stage presence. His reaction arose another giggle inside of you as you shyly covered your mouth with your hand.

“You’re fuckin’ cute, Y/N. Wanna try something weird?”

His words made your heart flutter. An obvious blush spread across your cheeks. You nodded in response, a goofy smile plastered on your face unbeknownst to you.

“Alright, just let me lead. I’m gonna take a hit of this and pass it to you.”

He angled his body toward you and you followed suit, both of you awkwardly facing each other. Half of the joint remained. It felt like you had smoked so much more then that. You were so goddamn high. Jon was too, but wasn’t nearly as transparent about it.

He lit it up and inhaled deeply, holding the smoke in his mouth and quickly placing the joint down to his side so both of his hands were free. He nodded for consent as he bore into your glazed eyes. As soon as you nodded back, his hands gently steadied the sides of your face as he ever so lightly touched his lips against yours. Both of you opened your mouths simultaneously as he exhaled and you inhaled. Your lips were touching so softly. It made your stomach flip. He pulled away, but kept his hands on your cheeks as he watched your expression closely.

“I like your sideburns.” He rubbed his thumb against your face gently, feeling your facial hair. “Fuck, I’m high as shit too.” He bit his lip as his cheeks began to flush red. You could just barely see the tint of his face change with the streetlights glimmering on you both. You smiled shyly as his compliment dug its way into your brain.

“I like yours too.” You sheepishly responded.

“Here.” Jon lifted your hand up and placed it on his own face so you could feel them. A smirk spread across his lips. “This is the gayest fuckin’ thing I’ve done all week.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?” You felt your breath hitch, worried that he wasn’t feeling the electricity you were.

“It ain’t bad. You’re pretty as hell. I saw you rockin’ out from the stage and I was like; ‘damn, that guy is… attractive’. Then i saw you in the bathroom and I was like, ‘shit here’s my chance’. Is that weird?”

You were so taken aback by his words. It didn’t seem real. Is he fucking serious right now?

“I’m sorry, I’m forreal so fucked up right now. That was probably weird for me to say, wasn’t it? I don’t usually do this stuff with guys. I’m a lot smoother with wome-”

Before he had even finished speaking, you put your other hand on his face, pulling him toward you for a kiss. You were so stoned, so ridden of anxiety and morality, it just seemed like the right thing to do. His lips were dry and tasted like Jack Daniel’s and potent weed. You pulled away and locked eyes.

“You’re really fucking cute, Jon. Like, I’m into you.”

His eyes widened and he smiled uncontrollably, fully displaying his crooked teeth.

“I’m into you too, Y/N. I wanna get to know you, but, uh…” He bit his lip and stared down at his lap tentatively. His face was so red.

“What? You’re acting shy all of a sudden?” You smirked and placed a hand on his thigh, nudging him to finish his sentence.

“I really wanna get to know you, but I also wanna fuck you so bad right now.”

You gulped and froze, not expecting him to feel such strong attraction toward you. You didn’t expect him to have any attraction toward you at all, let alone wanting to bone you on the spot like this. Was it because he was so fucked up? Or would he feel this way regardless? Snapping back into reality, you realized his dark, tired eyes were fixated on you, looking you up and down. Sweat beaded at your forehead in anticipation and hesitation. Not only was your favorite vocalist thirsting after you, but you had never been with anybody who hadn’t known you were trans before getting intimate. Actually, you hadn’t been with many people at all. You had no idea how to initiate the conversation, so the best you squeaked out was;

“Can we start slow?”

A warm smile eased onto Jons’ face. He scooped your legs up from the underside of your knees and scooted closer, placing your legs on top of his lap.

“I’m not gonna fuck you here on this bench. Well, I mean, unless you’re into that.” He gave you no time to respond as his lips crashed into yours, rougher then your first kiss, but gentle enough. He placed one hand behind your neck and the other on your thigh, giving it a light squeeze that caused your lips to part for a moment. His thumb affectionately graced the back of your neck as you tasted each others lips. Jon pulled back for a moment.

“You doing okay?” He asked, still rubbing his thumb against your hairline.

“Yeah. I’m really good. What about you?”

“I’m fuckin’ great. You have really soft lips.” He licked his own lips for a second before biting them and scanning your figure again. “Damn, you’re really fuckin’ handsome. It feels right to be here with you right now.” He slurred out before leaning in for another kiss.

This one was a bit sloppier. He began biting your bottom lip and licking your teeth until you finally granted his tongue entrance to your mouth. When you did he let out a soft, sweet moan that made your mouth vibrate. The sound of his enjoyment mixed with the feeling of his tongue in your mouth caused wetness to pool in your boxers. His hand moved lower on your waist and pulled you closer until you were essentially sat on his lap. You could feel how hard he was through his sweats and couldn’t believe it. Knowing that you had him so turned on just drove you even crazier.

A string of spit connected your swollen lips as the both of you pulled away momentarily for air.

“You’re so hard. Did I do this to you?” You asked teasingly.

“Fuck yeah you did. I’m about to fuckin’ lose my shit, Y/N. You’re so hot.” He leaned into the nook of your neck and began leaving soft kisses and bites on your skin. Both his hands now holding your waist.

“Can I mark you up, baby boy?”

The question sent chills down your spine.

“As much as you want to.”

The green light you gave had him impatiently and passionately sucking and licking on your neck. Your thighs squeezed together in an attempt to keep your tdick under control. Moans and curses escaped your mouth as his lips, teeth and tongue marked and grazed your skin; which only encouraged him further. His hands began to snake up the sides of your shirt. You froze for a moment, remembering you hadn’t told him you’re trans yet.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Jon pulled away worriedly and raised his eyebrows, trying to read your expression.

“Not at all. You’re doing such a good job. I just… I don’t- I have to tell you something before we get too far and I’m scared It’s gonna weird you out or something.” Tears welled up in your eyes slightly as anxiety begin to fill up your chest.

“Oh shit. You have AIDS or something?”

“No, motherfucker.” You fought back a snicker. “I don’t have any STD’s.”

Jon sighed in relief, grabbing your hands and holding them tight.

“I promise I’m not gonna judge you. I already like you.”

You took a deep breath and thought about how you could phrase this. The concoction of exhaustion and intoxication flooding through you caused you to simply lift your shirt to showcase your top surgery scars to him. Sometimes saying nothing speaks the loudest.

His eyes widen and fixate on your chest and torso as he puts his hands back on either side of your bare waist.

“I get it.” He said, tapping his fingertips along your skin. “Your scars look great… and shit, you’re almost as hairy as me, huh?” He snickered out, trying to ease the tension to let you know he really didn’t mind at all.

“It’s cool.” He adjusted your legs so you were straddling his lap now, rather then sitting with your legs pressed together. “I’m glad you trust me with your body. It’s fuckin’ sexy.”

You dropped your shirt back down as your hands covered your face. You could feel his throbbing member against your hole now that he readjusted your position on his lap.

“You’re not just saying that to get your dick wet?” You mumble through your fingers.

“What? Naw, I think you’re beautiful… handsome- I think you’re handsome. I said I wanted to fuck you and get to know you. You bein’ trans don’t change none of that. I just got to know you a lil more, that’s all.” He moved your hands down from your face and kissed your nose lightly, making you smile. His reassurance felt very genuine.

“Thank you, Jon. You have no idea how much that means to me… Fuck, I feel so much better. Come kiss me again.” You placed your hands on the back of his head, intertwining his dreads with your fingers before he smushed his face into yours with impatience. His tongue slithered past your teeth and onto yours. It was hard to ignore the subtly desperate humping of his hips up into you as you sat straddling him. The friction, or lack thereof, was driving you both crazy. With his dreads looped through your fingers, you gave a light tug that caused a moan to emit from his mouth into yours.

“Shit, I want you so bad.” He whispered, boring into your eyes with a look that can only be described as desire and seriousness. His desperation made you feel powerful. You never thought you’d be so close to Jon, never thought his dark, lustful eyes would be piercing yours. His arms would be around your waist and tongue in your mouth. The surge of tension and emotions between you had you both forgetting your location; a dirty bench on the outside of a crummy club.

“As bad as I want you too, I’m not about to let us get arrested for public indecency.” You chuckled, cupping his cheek with your hand and giving him a light kiss on the lips. He frowned childishly, eyebrows furrowing. He leaned down and rested his head in the nook of your neck, his lips barely touching your skin.

“If we went somewhere more private, would you let me make you feel good?” He said before kissing your neck lightly.

You placed your hands on the back of his head, caressing his matted, sweaty hair for a moment before mumbling out an “mhm”. Planting another quick kiss on your forehead, he stood up, grabbing the joint and lighter with one hand and outstretching the other for you to take. As he lead you back through the door of the now empty club, he held the joint in his mouth, lighting it and taking long hits, exhaling the smoke through his nose. He grabbed it with two fingers and placed it between your lips for you to take a couple hits as well. A trail of smoke lingered behind you both as he pushed the bathroom door open, locking it behind you.

“I’m so fucking high again, haha-”

He wasted no time in pressing you up against the cool, tiled wall, biting at your lips and moving his hands up and down the sides of your torso. He had his body pressed into yours, keeping you comfortably squished yet unable to move much. You could feel his boner pushing against your stomach through your clothes. He pulled away from your breathless mouth as he hurriedly pulled his tank top over his head, throwing it onto the floor. Jon was so fucking hairy. You were awestruck by his body. His chest hair, happy trail, hips poking out above his pants. You were so hypnotized you hadn’t even realized him tugging at the hem of your shirt, gesturing to get it off of you.

“I wanna see that body of yours again… please?” His bloodshot puppy dog eyes darted between your face and the small amount of your belly visible below your shirt that he was lifting. You bit your lip nervously, but raised your arms to allow him to fully remove it. Throwing your shirt off to the side like a piece of trash, his gaze hungrily shifted around your torso and chest. Large, gentle hands caressing your sides, tracing your scars.

“Goddamn, you’re a fuckin’ treat, huh pretty boy?” He leaned down and started suckling on your neck, working his way down to your collarbone. You gasped as his hand suddenly snuck it’s way past your waistband and in between your thighs, fingers rubbing between your slick entrance and against your swollen tdick.

“Shit, this things big… You’re ready for me aren’t you, Y/N?” He smirked, his forehead pressed against your chest as he stared intensely at his hand in your pants. A finger slipped inside of you, making you emit a raspy moan. The feeling of your wetness seeping around his hand caused him to whimper, beyond turned on and anticipating the feeling of finally being inside of you. Your hips humping against his hand as he inserts another finger, biting your shoulder and leaving a hardy indentation.

“Your fingers feel so fucking good, oh my god, fuck-“ your hands moved up and down his back sporadically; you ached for this kind of touch for what felt like forever.

“That’s my good boy… Are you ready for me to fuck you?” He muttered into your neck, clamping down with his teeth leaving another deep bite mark. Your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, enjoying the mixture of pleasure and mild pain. You would’ve yanked his pants down yourself in an instant if you weren’t pinned up against the wall at his discretion.

“Y-yeah, I’m ready. Fuck…”

Almost instantaneously, he pulled his pants down, letting them fall to his ankles. His cock had been dripping with precum for what seemed like the entire time, it was dribbling off of his head. The sight made your eyes pop. Eagerly, he pulled the waistband of your pants down as well, letting them fall to your feet. He reached a hand down and began jerking himself off with one hand and swirling his fingers around your tdick with the other while maintaining eye contact with you.

“I’m gonna fuck your pretty little cunt now, okay?” He shifted his hips close enough so his throbbing cock was placed directly against your entrance. You nodded your head, breathless and nervous. Pushing into you slowly, you both let out deep groans as your grips on each others bodies tightened. He fully pressed into you, borderline crushing you against the wall. Your arms wrapped around his head as he quickened his pace, unable to hold back the desire he’s been downplaying all evening.

“Fuck yes. You’re so fucking tight. You feel so fucking good around me. What a good boy, so wet for me.” Praise fell from his lips like a monologue as he pumped faster and faster. Leaving you out of breath, moaning and cursing uncontrollably. Complete putty in his hands. His lips encompassed yours as he moaned and whimpered into your mouth. The sounds of both of your deep, raspy noises of pleasure and his hips slapping wetly and lewdly against yours echoed throughout the bathroom. He pinned your hands above your head with one arm and used the other to grope your ass, pulling you into him as he submerged his cock inside of you.

“Jon, fuck, I’m gonna fucking cum.”

“Me too. Be my good boy and let’s cum together.” He whimpered out, trying to maintain a dominant tone but not being able to hold back his desperation. His hips bucked uncontrollably and with one final harsh pump, he completely buried himself inside of you. You could feel his balls pulsating against your lips as he emptied them inside of your hole. You tightened around him, gasping and moaning. Your bodies twitched as you both simultaneously came for each other. Sweat pouring off your bodies and cum already trickling down your hairy, weak thighs before he even pulled out.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy, Y/N.” Jon breathlessly mumbled as he stayed twitching inside of you. Attempting to catch his breath and letting go of your wrists, he sprinkled soft kisses all over your jawline, chin and cheeks.

“No, you are. Holy shit, I’ve never cum that hard with anyone before.” You whispered out, legs shaking, barely able to stand if he wasn’t still pressing you against the wall.

“Neither have I. Goddamn.” He slowly slipped out of you while holding your hips, biting his lip and forcing back whimpers in his throat as he did. Your hips bucked and twitched. His cum seeped out, dripping onto your boxers below you. He kissed your forehead with a loud smack sound and bent down to pull up your pants for you.

“Cute. Your legs are shaking pretty hard. Need me to carry you out of here or somethin’?” He rose up with a satisfied look on his face, snapping your waistband around your hips.

“Hell no. I’m a big boy.” You snickered and crossed your arms as Jon pulled his own pants up, rising up less then an inch from your face. You kissed his nose sweetly and watched his face turn a deeper pink.

“Whatever you say. Let me get you breakfast, hm? It’s probably like, fuckin’ 7 AM now.” He reached down to grasp your hand and intertwine your fingers with his. “Then we can go back to my hotel room and clean up.”

He stared hopefully and tiredly at you, lightly squeezing your hand.

“Deal. We’re like, so fucking gross right now.”

He laughed and nodded his head, swinging your arms back and forth. You made your way out of the club and realized the sun had rose, which only made you feel more exhausted. His thumb caressed yours as you both began your trot to the motel a few blocks down the road.

“I like you a lot, Y/N.” He quietly muttered, looking down at your feet as you walked next to each other.

“You goddamn better considering your cum is in my boxers right now.” You playfully shot back, earning a hardy laugh from him.

“I’m playin’. I like you a lot too.”

You stopped in your tracks for a moment to embrace each other. A gentle but passionate kiss solidified your mutual feelings as you continued on your way, sauntering down the sidewalk.

[cuntboyprincess]

Hello I'm a 22 year old transguy. I'm new to tumblr. Except I have been getting off to some tags here recently...

I've been on t for about 4 years now. And I've had chest surgery. No bottom surgery.

The thought of getting, against my will, pregnant causes me arousal. The thought of having a baby bump s*xually excities me a lot... espespecially all the small detail around it. Like how my family would react. And how disappointed my dad would be, how he would stare at my baby bump and the shame he would feel his SON got impregnated. Sometimes I get off by imagining my water breaking in front of him and the pure shame and shock in his eyes. The fantasies go as far as me giving birth in front of my whole family or at my work place. It's more the humiliation and SHAME of a MAN having his p*ssy impregnated, of a MAN having his uterus violated with semen...and he's now forced, branded, with a child he has to carry and birth against his will.. I'm thinking about being pregnant and as my belly grows bigger all the people around me start to notice it and give me looks. They start talking about me and I feel so ashamed of myself...

It's the pregnancy itself that turns me on so much but also the pure shame that comes with it. The thought of people making fun of me.. me not being able to hide my belly and the shock in their faces as I finally give birth unexpectetly in front of their very own eyes....

How abnormal and disgusting they find the "man" I am to have multiple orgasms while birthing. I'm getting soaking wet writting this. I want someone much older than me, maybe fat and disgusting looking guy with a kimk for c*ntboys (ohh so hot) to steal my male pride by rap*ng my boy-vag deep and fast...while verbally humiliating me and calling me names. Then fill me up and impregnate me. All I can do is to let this happen to me. Because I'm too weak. I'm powerlessly and helplessly impregnated. And there is absolutely nothing I can do. Except getting off multiple times, squirting and peeing myself.

I also want to be kept as a slave. I want to be like, kidnapped and toyed with. R*ped many times a day. Getting quickly impregnated. I'm getting so addicted to getting f*cked, I also touch myself additionally to the r*pes.

There is this scenario in which the kidnapper sets me free after I became a brainless, s*x addicted, heavily pregnant boysl*t and my family and my entire friend circle is shocked by what has happened to me and the personality change I endured! It would be so utterly humiliating!

Oh my.. I'm probably sick for having these fantasies. lol Sometimes I'm thinking, in real life, I wouldn't mind whoever would come up to me (no matter what age/looks) I wouldn't mind to get r*ped thouroughly by them. I wouldn't even mind, in real life, to get impregnated and to be forced to carry a child. The thought absolutely terrifies me and the world would end for me out of shame what all the people around me would think of me. And yet, excatly this makes me dripping wet.... 🥵

[facewithoutheart]

Personal update after the break ❤️ heed the tags

I’ve always been a bit of a TMI mess so just throwing this out there because a) I like people knowing this but hate updating people individually and b) it’s helping me process.

At the end of my 2.5 week South American vacation with my husband I came down with what I thought as food poisoning. (Or, at the very very start, acute hatred of crowds at museums.) Anyway I went back to our hotel and started puking for about 18 hours. Which was a problem, given we were meant to go home the next day. Eventually my husband agreed with me that I was not getting better and we delayed our flight for another day.

On Jan 3 at about 3pm I finally felt normal. Like, I got an appetite. It was amazing. I sent my husband on a mission to bring me food and took a celebratory nap.

This is likely when my appendix burst.

I woke up in severe pain. Like. Severe. 6 or 7 on the pain scale. We waited all night but nothing made it better. Eventually my husband got me dressed and ready for the flight because a) we still thought this was a really bad case of food poisoning (I made him google appendicitis since the pain was that bad but nothing we read made it sound like that’s what I was experiencing.) and b) whatever was hurting me we wanted to be back in our own country where we had access to more resources and spoke the same language. My husband can speak some Spanish, but struggles with vocabulary, and this wasn’t a situation where we wanted to miss things in translation.

I was under the delusion that if I could just curl up in my own bed everything would be better.

Onward through a bumpy cab ride, pre-customs (where I had to sit on my luggage to not pass out… keep in mind I’d barely eaten anything besides some water and Colombian pedialyte for 2.5 days), get through security, walk to the gate (by this point every movement of my feet felt Sisyphean), get through a second, special, just for me baggage check where I had to take off and put my shoes on (seriously cannot overstate how painful that was), and then suffer through a 6 hour turbulent flight. All without looking sick because we were afraid they wouldn’t fly us home if I looked sick.

Ok! So now we’re back in the states. I am holding on for my comfy bed (remember: delusionally). We get through US customs in a surprisingly efficient manner, then head for our Lyft with Larry. Oh, Larry. He was the world’s slowest driver, bless him.

We get home, I pout at the bed until my husband put the sheets on, and then immediately flopped onto them.

And did not feel better. Worse, actually.

After being betrayed by the bed that was meant to cure me, I made more sad noises at my husband until we decided to call in the A team: my sister, the nurse.

She didn’t answer.

So I called my mom. Or, I called my mom and made my husband talk to her while I continued to make sad noises. We all have our coping mechanisms. She told us to go to urgent care, which is a shock if you know my mom. She’s minimized my illnesses my whole life so when she said, “Christina doesn’t complain about being sick until she’s really sick so maybe you should get it checked out.” Then my sister called back and helped talk us into a stand-alone ER which has facilities much like a standard ER but much faster and with a private room.

That’s probably the purpose of this whole story so holding it again: I don’t think I’m being dramatic when I saying going to a stand-alone ER (in the US) saved my life. Or at least helped avoid an invasive longer recovery surgery. To find one, you’re basically looking for an ER associated with a main hospital group, but not inside the main hospital compound. They’re a little hard to find so that’s the best I can do.

Ok so onward to the stand-alone ER. I’ll remind you at this point we’re still operating under the idea that I have really bad food poisoning, maybe severe dehydration. We get to the ER, check in, get taken back to the room, sing our story for some IV fluids, and I even got a warmed up blanket.

Heaven, if you ask me.

Fast-forward: they do a series of tests on me and conclude that my appendix has ruptured, possibly some time ago, and it’s imperative that I get surgery. Like, appendix where are you? They can’t even see it lol. They do double check my gall bladder just in case, which is another common problem FYI keep that in mind people who were born female.

Now the only question is whether or not I get a bed. Keep in mind I’m sitting pretty. The warm blankets, remember? The hospitals nearby are all full. People in the hallways waiting for care. Not ideal! The doctor tells his own horror story about his father being unable to find a room in a hospital to wait for surgery that will come 🤷‍♀️. (Coincidence: this doctor was Peruvian so that was fun! Since we’d just been.)

Luck is on my side because there’s a surgeon who will take me straight to the operating room. I get an ambulance ride (no sirens ☹️) but I do have a fun, chatty EMT who gawks at the number of ambulances stuck in the ambulance dock at the hospital to which I’m transferred. (Another bonus: the hospital is five minutes from my house.)

I pretty much immediately go into surgery. “Teetering” is the word the surgeon used about how bad I was doing. My husband estimated that I likely wouldn’t have survived another 24 hours in that condition. Fun times! Something to process later.

Moving on. I’m two days post-op, feeling great (great enough to write this!) and I’ve moved onto clear liquids, which is so awesome you guys. JELLO! ON PRESCRIPTION! I had a grape slushee yesterday, things are swinging back my way. I do have recovery issues (need to poop ☹️ need to get my ng tube removed ☹️☹️☹️ need to be able to blow a little green tube until it reaches 2,000 or something), but I’ve reached a stage where recovery is measurable so omfg my engineer husband is so happy. He has notes. He is getting a whole thrill out of making doctors explain things to him like he’s an idiot. Aside from the fact, you know, his wife’s appendix tried to kill her or whatever and the fact he’s got to actually go into the grocery store.

Meanwhile I get to measure my success in farts, which is really fun. The surgeon was like “I know you ladies don’t like talking about gas” and I was like “sir you saved my life with minimally invasive surgery but I cannot begin to tell you how little I care about talking about farts. Farts, farts, farts.” And then tried to see if we knew any of the same doctors so he’d pull my ng tube faster. No dice. He used this thing called “logic” and also “your belly was full of puss that I had to suck out so maybe do what I say” blah blah blah (no seriously I am super grateful for him; modern medicine, hospital system mess aside, is a marvel and I’m so happy I live in a world where a laparoscopic surgery was able to treat my issues with minimal side effects).

Anyway, that’s my story! Appendixes: sleeping nightmares, apparently. Lurking. Even when you’re 36 and way past appendicitis phase if you ask me. Way more trendy for a woman my age to have gall bladder issues.

Also: props to every man who said there’s no way a man would ever let this issue get as bad as I did because of my insane pain tolerance 🤣 like, thanks for the shout-out but I could do without the hospital stay.

Second shout out to my amazing husband who has been such a champ, getting me things, pushing doctors for answers, advocating for me, and also taking time to slap my ass every time I accidentally flash him with my very sexy hospital gown. He knows how to make me feel both cared for and alive. Ugh I’m gonna cry just thinking about how grateful I am to him. I won’t even make fun of him for WALKING INTO A SONIC SERIOUSLY WHO DOES THAT YOU ANIMAL but I will tease him for googling appendix and saying, “Do you know they don’t even know what the purpose of an appendix is?” Like. Honey. Yes, everyone knows that. But I pretended to be surprised anyways because, like I said. Champ.

Also my husband said my lung exercise machine looks like it has “a dick” which was exactly what I was thinking. Fist bumps. Never grow up.

The end!

[shion-yu]

Day 15: “Who decided soup is sick people food?”

Al and Theo making their appearance for @sicktember! 856 words, no TW, hospital setting with a shocking lack of angst, just fluff and banter.

Theo really hated soup. He was never the biggest fan to begin with, but after being stuck to a clear liquid diet for several days he wanted to throw every tepid bowl of broth the hospital served him at the wall. They acted as if beef, chicken and vegetable brother was such a variety, as if it didn’t all taste like the same salty, artificially flavored murky water.

He’d had his gallbladder out two days ago now, and Al kept telling him to be patient - he’d probably be moved up to a full liquid diet today after rounds. Except rounds on this floor were in the afternoon, and Theo was starving. He’d been on clear liquids for forty-eight hours before the surgery while they tried to see if IV antibiotics would do the trick without surgery, and then when they decided it wasn’t he was NPO for the night before and half a day afterwards. They told him they’d take it slow - introduce liquids, then solids. But Elliot swore he could eat an entire roast chicken right now, which Al thought was a very strange statement.

“I’m starving,” he groaned. “What was the point of taking my gallbladder out if I’m going to die of starvation?”

Al shook his head, amused but also slightly fed up with Theo’s complaining by now. He was sitting on the hard hospital couch, legs crossed and reading a book. His thick glasses were sliding down his nose. “You’re definitely not going to die of starvation,” Al reassured him. “Of drama, maybe.”

Theo pouted. “You’re supposed to be nice to me right now,” he said. He was not usually this dramatic, but he was also not usually this hungry.

“I’ve been very nice to you,” Al said, a slight smirk on his lips even though he did not look up from his book. “You just want to eat.”

“Just give me something small,” Theo begged. “If they’re gonna change me to full liquids today anyways, what’s the difference between now and later?” Ice cream was on a clear liquid diet, Theo thought to himself. He’d give anything to tear into a banana split right now.

“The difference,” Al said casually, “Is that I’m not a doctor.”

Theo crossed his arms petulantly. “You could be. You know more than some of them.”

“True, but not about gallbladders,” Al responded. He finally put his book down in his lap and looked at Theo in a way that was somehow both judgmental and affectionate. The large window behind him provided lighting that Theo thought made him look exceptionally handsome today, which wasn’t fair because he was trying to be cross right now. “Look, babe, if they don’t come by in time for you to get a real dinner tray, you can have a few sips of my Ensure.”

Theo made a gagging noise on purpose. “Please, those are disgusting.”

“Mhm. And that’s how you know you’re not truly starving. If you were starving for real, you’d take it.”

Theo groaned. “That’s not fair, you tricked me.”

“It’s evidence. For the lawyer.”

“I would rather be sitting in court,” Theo muttered. “I could sneak a protein bar under the bench or something.” They both knew that Theo would never do something so unprofessional, but it was a laughable scene to picture.

It took another two hours for the doctors to finally come by on their rounds. They felt Theo’s abdomen and asked him about how he was feeling, and his response was, “I’ll give you a kidney, too, if you just let me eat something.”

The doctor laughed and agreed to a full liquid diet then, and said if Theo tolerated it for dinner and overnight then he could have a light breakfast with real food too. But of course, doctors never really remembered those little things, and when Theo was served beef broth for dinner again, Al was quick to call the nurse and ask them to get the order changed before Theo had a mental breakdown. Then he went to the cafeteria and got what he knew to be a full liquid diet himself: cream of potato soup, vanilla pudding, orange sherbet and the most important thing, chocolate ice cream. Theo may have shed a genuine tear as he ate everything, even though Al told him to go slowly.

Thankfully, Theo tolerated dinner very well and the nurse obtained an order to move him to a solid diet for breakfast. He was restricted to the low-fat menu which ruled out half of the already limited selection, but Theo didn’t care. He was ready for the blandest toast, the most powdery low-fat egg whites, and sugar free cream of wheat. Just as long as it had substance, he was happy.

After a successful breakfast too, Theo was discharged that following afternoon. He did try to convince Al to make an emergency fast food stop on the way home, which Al immediately rejected. But for the next several weeks, no matter how annoying eating the very bland, low-fat diet Al was feeding him was, Theo took it in stride. As long as it wasn’t soup.

[schizodiaries]

I saw your recent post about how you cope with your hospitalisation and I keep thinking about it

I've already told you about my medication carrying case that looks like a PS1/Net Yaroze and my menhera tights and skirt

I also have a private "Self" aesthetic board on the go and it has a section for disability and health, with images like pills and hospital beds and phrases like "I feel tired" and "I told you I was sick"

Recently, I got some stickers from RedBubble and put them on water bottles to match my colour scheme for all my school stuff. One of them is a blue syringe and one of them is a purple bandaid. Aestheticising my medical conditions yet again.

I sometimes have a temptation to buy some cheap scrubs and just... wear them around the house, I guess to feel like I'm in the position of power for once. I mean, people roleplay positions of power all the time in the forms of cosplay, drag, etc. where they pretend to be a superhero or a CEO or something, but this would be in the privacy of my own home.

I bring stuffed animals with me to medical things if I suspect there's a chance it could be emotionally hard, so I brought a turkey to my surgery back in October. I felt very safe and respected by the staff that day. Sometimes when I'm really upset, I turn to that turkey because she now has the memories associated with her of going for surgery. (Don't worry, I cycle through plushies so that they don't typically have memories strongly associated with them and then the upsetting moments don't get tied to them.)

One of my stuffed animals is a bear from Build-A-Bear. I still haven't worked out the specifics despite having her since 2018, but in my little canon for my BABs, she is disabled. I want to get her a tiny pill case from the drug store to use as an accessory for her, and maybe I'll construct her a cane. I've been planning my future BABs, so I want to get a Barkleigh (dog) and make her a nurse as well as get a Jennifur (cat) and make her a pharmacist, because those are both professions I tend to feel safe with.

Just... I guess I do stuff similar to what you do!! In case you felt alone about it. Except mine has a flavour of physical chronic illness to it too.

This is very touching, thank you for sharing! I think in the past I was a bit ashamed of my romanticization of my mental hospital experience, like I felt as though I was trivializing the experience or infantilizing myself. It honestly does help a lot to know there are others who view their medical issues in a more positive and fun light. It’s a harmless coping mechanism, after all, so I’ve learned not to be ashamed of it. If people don’t like it or it makes them uncomfortable they can simply ignore it or avoid me.

I really like the idea of customizing a build a bear to be disabled, and giving them a small pill case and cane too. I think that’s a cute idea. I’m not much of a plushie person myself, but I love creating OCs (original characters). Actually the “mascot” of my blog is supposed to be an OC of mine named Emilia. They have schizoaffective disorder too, and I’ve been meaning to draw them more but I haven’t had the motivation recently. When I do get around to it, I think I’ll draw them in a menhera-style outfit or setting, or holding a medicine bottle or something fun like that. The possibilities are endless!

[yourlocalmissingtexture]

I’m not feeling great so I’m gonna quickly (“quickly” lol) infodump about a character of mine. Well, two of them. One is based on history so their info might be a bit shaky, just an fyi.

Introducing: Cecilia/Lamare!

Cecilia Perrot was born in 1330 in France and was surrendered to a monastery due to her parents being unable to care for her. She saw the onset of the Hundred Years War and petitioned St. Michael frequently.

When the Black Death swept through her area in 1348, she and her convent did what they were able to help the sick but to no avail. Frustrated, she left the convent and took on a masculine disguise so that she could work as a plague doctor outside of the monastery (which was proving to be more like a death house than a hospital). She felt better being “freelance” so to speak but still felt guilty and afraid. If these were the end times, she worried she’d be denied entry to heaven because she failed so thoroughly: as a convent sister, as a doctor, and as a woman.

During one intense bout of prayer she had a vision of St. Michael and St. Raphael, who praised her efforts but also let her know that her work would kill her. They assured her that if she kept up what she was doing that she was basically guaranteed entry into heaven.

Seems peachy, right? Well…

Enter Lamare (true name Lahar-harah), a demon*. He is rather small and weak physically and resembles a stereotypical goat-legs-and-horns demon, but his psychic and magical abilities are profound. He was lurking around France at the time, leeching energy from people who mistook him for a grotesque (gargoyle minus the water spout!) or who fell under his influence of persuasion.

One day Cecilia finds him and while initially frightened feels compelled to interact with him without invoking the name of Jesus. She felt she could bring him to the light. For all her brightness in her mind and all the kindness in her heart, this was unfortunately part of Lamare’s plan. He waited until she was especially close and vulnerable before he made his move and possessed her, pushing her soul into the depths of her psyche and leaving him to pilot her body.

Before he wasn’t very capable of interacting with the physical world, but now he had a body! A former nun’s body, even! How ironic! He’d make good use of it, keeping it alive far longer than a body was meant to last via his powers.

While in her stolen body, he enjoyed intentionally botching surgeries, dental procedures, embalmings, and anything else that involved the corruption of the flesh. Thanks to his abilities, however, he was never reprimanded. He also took classes in Oxford in 1503, ventured across the ocean to watch the American Civil War unfold, and researched poison dart frogs in the Amazon while the French Revolution was ongoing.

During all of this, Cecilia grew distant from reality at first. The violence and sadism wore heavily on her conscious, as did the general knowledge that her trusting a demon got her into this mess to begin with. No way she was going to heaven now. At points she felt she got some kind of pleasure from the cruelty she was forced to partake in, which worsened her guilt significantly. But she remained hopeful, deep down. Hopeful she’d be able to be herself again someday. Hopeful that maybe God would have mercy on her for her grave mistake and that those she watched slip away by her own distant hand would forgive her as well, perhaps.

Oh also Cecilia is agender. She still uses she/her pronouns and likes being called Cecil sometimes. Lamare is masc and uses he/him. Do not call him Lammy.

* For context, angels & demons in this universe are the same kind of entity, the difference being that angels are subservient to someone (compare to being employed) and demons aren’t (like working freelance).

[f1-disaster-bi]

I just saw your send me asks post and I come bearing two ideas. Just choose which one you like more or none or both whichever rocks your fancy! I've just rediscovered your disabled lando au with Jenson and Seb as parents and it sounds so good! Do you have any more ideas for it? Maybe something where Lando experiences a setback when he's a bit older after he just got through quite a serious case of pneumonia and is still incredibly weak. Or on a happier note, Lando's first race where he can watch it with his dads and being a complete gremlin but so so loved by all the staff and drivers. The second idea is neurodivergent Lando: I don't know whether you would be interested or comfortable writing this but I really like your writing and would love to hear your thoughts. So I think racing would be his passion and when training and in the car he would always feel at peace and the most himself, but there are many aspects connected to f1 that he really struggles with. The constant swarm of people as well as the loud noises constantly. So I think noise-cancelling headphones and someone he knows close by (Jon my beloved) is a must. Also, Lando saying in interviews that he often wears sunglasses, even inside because he finds it too bright or always wearing hoodies because the material and fit feel a lot better to him. There are days where his sensory issues are less and days when they are a lot more prominent and I just love the idea of trainer/big brother Jon being the biggest support through everything and especially someone Lando trust wholeheartedly even when he doesn't feel good and his anxiety is bleeding through.

I absolutely adore the second idea, but it's been so long since I've gotten to think about of explore my foster child Lando/Disabled Lando au that I just can't not think about it now!

I hope these two ideas were what you were referring to ( one and two) what you were think of.

Lando having some complications as he grows older from the car accident when he was two that took his leg. Especially after how the orphange he was at often failed to bring him for check up's, so when Seb and Jenson adopt him when he's five-turning-six, they make sure to keep on top of everything. That's when they find out that Lando has some issues with his lungs because of the crash, and they often find themselves back in the doctor with colds and sore throats so they never turn into something worse

But when Lando is a little older, maybe ten, he starts to realise that people look down on him because of his prostetic leg. He realises other kids make fun of how he walksh and runs, how he gets so sick sometimes, and he just wants to be normal. He wants to be healthy, so when he starts to get a cough after going swimming with his class and someone dunking him under water a few times, Lando tries to hide it.

Seb and Jenson notice something is wrong but they think maybe it's the start of his pre-teen moodiness that he doesn't want to cuddle and watch movies or hang out with them in the evenings. They notice he's a little pale, but Lando brushes them off.

And then Lando collapses on the way out the door to school one day and Sebastian is in bits. Jenson was already gone for the gym, and Seb was doing drop off and he ends up calling Jenson from the hospital in a panic because "we missed it, he was in pain and we missed it". He'd feel so guilty, especially when Lando admits to everything, but first he was to endure his little boy needing surgery because his pnuemonia had collapsed his lung.

Lando wakes up to both his dad's holding his hands, just watching and waiting, and it makes him want to cry because he ws so scared the kids at school were right and that his dad's were tired of his disabilities but then Seb is there playing with his hair, kissing his forehead and whispering to him in German while Jenson kisses his hand and tells him he's safe and okay, and Lando knows his dads love him and feels so stupid for not telling them everything and doubting it