#Negan/Reader

[justsomegdude]

Hate or Lust?

Summary: Y/N and Negan get separated from the rest of the saviors for a few nights.

Warning: Negan is a warning himself, swearing, tension, sexual tension.

A/N: I randomly made this with my boyfriend on call! I hope it’s good!!

You’ve known Negan for a while, you were one of his first members. He always seemed to be annoyed by your presence, he enjoyed your work but not you as a person.

You were getting ready to set out with Negan, and a few other of his higher ups to go check out a few abandoned buildings that Dwight said he saw. Of course Negan chose you to go with him. He enjoyed how hard you worked, and how much you’d do for everyone. He didn’t bother to talk to you though.

You walked up to Dwight, slinging your bag over your shoulders. Dwight seemed to have a scowl on his face, never lightening up since Negan burned the side of it. He looked up at you as he fixed his sleeve. “How far away are they?” You had asked and slid your hands into your pockets.

He looked out towards the gate. “…not far away. maybe an hour at most?” He glanced at his sleeve, and then looked at you again. “Big boss making you go?” Dwight knew about the whole thing between the two of you. Dwight was honestly one of your best friends here, so if he didn’t see it himself you would have told him anyway.

With a nod of your head, you heard more footsteps on the gravel ground, slow dragging footsteps that could only belong to one person. “Hey dwighty-boy! You ready?” He stood behind you, looking towards dwight. You turn around to look up at him, which he did not return.

Dwight glanced between the two of you until you looked at Dwight. “Uh.. Yeah.” He wasn’t gonna say anything more, but noticing how there was tension creeping up into the air as Negan stayed put behind you. “You gonna ask the (lady/him) too?” Dwight’s eyebrows furrowed. He knew Negan well enough to know that he’ll never talk to you unless someone mentioned it.

He finally looked down at you, it was your turn to not do it back. “Hey.” His voice was firm, he obviously wasn’t going to enjoy this. You turned your head and looked up into his eyes. His usual smirk wasn’t ever shown when he looked at you. “You ready?” Was all he said, looking up at Dwight again. Your stomach clenched and you looked at the gravel covered driveway. You don’t know what you did to make Negan hate you so much, but it wasn’t a nice feeling.

“yes.” You spat out, it might come off as disrespectful, but Negan doesn’t want to waste time even punishing you. Dwight could be heard entering a truck. Negan stayed behind you, he didn’t make a plan on moving. You heard footsteps behind you from other men, but thinking it was Negan moving you spun around. Then, Negan instead of The Sanctuary in your view had you step back. He looked at you, by choice.

“Watch it, Y/N.” He said firmly, talking with gritted teeth. He held Lucille loosely as he still did not move. His eyes stayed on yours. Your stomach flipped, he never chose to talk to you, or even look at you without reason. So to say you were nervous was an understatement.

Taking a step back, you were the first to stop the staring contest. “Yes sir.” You said, in a quiet voice as you started walking towards the truck you had usually taken, although never keeping the same passenger. You didn’t look back at Negan, but his eyes could be felt on you still. Hopping into the truck with the keys, twirling them before sliding them into the key slot.

Your view was out the window, waiting for the other saviors to get into their trucks. You weren’t sure who was gonna be in your car with you today, so you waited. The door opened which made your eyes dart towards the passenger door, expecting anyone but him to show up. He got into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut. Your eyes on him but his eyes on the trucks in front.

You were now gonna have to share a truck with the man that seemed to hate your guts.. Negan. His leather jacket was on but it was now unzipped, Lucille was set on the floor in between the door and his knee. Your truck was the last in line so for him to be joining you, especially as he’d choose anyone but you, it was weird and not like him. “The other trucks were full.” Negan's voice was heard as you realized you were staring at him. Your eyes went back to looking out the window.

“Okay.” Was your response, you weren’t really sure how else you could even respond. The trucks in front of you started so you started your own. Negans presence made an uncomfortable tension. You and him weren’t heads on, but there was an underlying feeling of hatred.

The gates opened to the sanctuary, the few trucks leaving and you started your drive behind them. Usually with whoever your seating partner was there would be at least noises, but with Negan.. There wasn’t even a peep other than the truck's engine being heard. You guys were driving for about an hour like Dwight assumed when the trucks in front came to a slow stop. We arrived and Negan seemed to want to leave as quickly as possible, not even letting you stop the truck completely before he jumped out with Lucille.

You exit your truck after turning it off. Rounding the truck to get to where the other saviors were standing. It seemed like everyone didn’t care to wait for you, but Negan didn’t move until you were close enough to follow. There were two groups of us, although not discussed and just went either way, you weren’t sure which group to follow so you went to the one with Dwight, that just so happened to be the one with Negan.

Entering the house that Dwight chose to go in, someone that you didn’t bother to learn the name of stayed at the door for guard. The room you automatically walked into was the living room, where it looked mostly untouched other than pictures that were clearly taken off the wall, by the fact there were nails left behind. Everyone went into seperate room to search, two in the living room, one in the kitchen, one in the dinning room, and Dwight went into the bedroom on the first floor. Since all rooms were occupied you went up the stairs to go to the first room you saw. It was rather quiet other than the small chatter from the saviors down below. Looking through drawers you found nothing but clothes. Walking over to the bed to look in the nightstand, there were gauze(bandage wraps) which you quickly pocketed for yourself. Hoping no one will notice.

There was a voice from behind you, where the door was. You looked over to see Dwight. “Hey Y/N, find anything?” He entered the room, by how he sounded, he didn’t see you hide the gauze for yourself. You closed the nightstand drawer and stood up.

“Nothing but clothes so far, i’ll keep looking though.” You nodded and went to the other side of the bed to look at the other nightstand. Pulling the drawer open to find batteries, which has you picking them up and throwing them at Dwight. He almost didn’t catch it, he fumbled a little. “Sorry thought you were paying more attention.” I smirked, it was silly banter we did.

Dwight found it funny and finally cracked a smile after how long you’ve seen him without any emotion. He put the batteries in a bag. “Knew you’d find something.” Dwight said and walked towards the door. “Negan said that he doesn’t want to stay here too long, since he thinks he saw a few walkers.” You just nodded at him.

“Thanks Dwight.” You thanked him and he left the room. Taking a quick look around the room to see if there could be any more places to look, not much to look for as this room seemed to be the most bland. Taking a walk around the room before getting onto your stomach to look under the bed. There was liquor. Pulling it out to see what it was you heard footsteps and slid it back under the bed quickly.

You looked under the bed still, pretending like you hadn’t rodin anything. “Y/N.” Negans voice heard, it was a stern way to say your name, and it instantly made you uneasy. Why was he suddenly talking to you so much? “I heard something, what was it?” You looked up at him from where you were laying to see his eyes not at your face, but somewhere around your body. You sighed as you grabbed the liquor, and stood up to show him. Negan quickly smiled when he saw it and took it from you. “Damnnnn. Nice find.” He seemed happy with it, maybe he’ll act like he hates you less. Negan snapped for one of the saviors to take the liquor and bring it to your truck. His hand went to your shoulder, and it made you instantly freeze and you don’t know why. “I’m gonna have some funnn tonighttt,” His tone was bouncing-like. somewhat energetic. “because of you, Y/N.”

Negan then left and it made you speechless. He’s never smiled around you, not talked, not touched, not even looked at you most of the time you’ve known each other. There was nowhere else to look in the room so you left the room. Everyone was already outside taking the stuff they found to the trucks when one savior started to scream about a herd coming. You and Negan were left in the house and tried to run towards the door only to see the walkers already starting to surround the house. Negan saw this as you tried to run out the door and he had quickly grabbed on to your shirt and pulled you against him. “shh.” Negan said quietly. He was protecting you?

The trucks were heard driving off and negan cussed under his breath. They stranded us here without worrying if we were okay or not? Negan's grip is still firm on your shirt. Not letting you move, which made you feel the need to not move an inch. Negan's arm wrapped around your waist as he slowly pulled you back so you weren’t in view of the windows. Why would he care so much about you all of the sudden? “Negan..” You whispered. Which then led him to putting his hand over your mouth.

Negan kept you pressed against him, his arm around your waist and his hand over your mouth. You were hiding from any windows, to not be seen. Everytime Negan heard a noise his hand around your waist got tighter just slightly, but once knowing it okay he loosened his grip. You were unsure how to react to all of this, so you stayed still. Why Negan was protecting you so much was beyond what you knew. Your knees slightly trembled because of the nervousness with both the walker herd and Negan.

When Negan thought the coast was clear he slowly let go of you, but you didn’t move. He leaned down next to your ear. “Y/N.. I think we’re good.” Negans voice was low, he tried to tell you to move it in a way that made it seem less rude. You nodded and stepped out of his reach and towards the door. Your hand went to the doorknob as you tried to react calmly after what Negan had just been doing to you for minutes. When you finally opened the door there was a walker that wasn’t heard or seen and came walking towards you, Negan quickly pulled you back and hit the walker into the door frame. blood and brains dripping from the now dead.. dead guys head. Negan was protecting you left and right now, which only made you confused.

Taking a look outside to view around for anymore close walkers, and when there were none you and Negan quietly ran towards the truck. You didn’t know how to get back to The sanctuary.. You always were following behind a truck that knew where, but you didn’t. “Negan.. Do you remember how to get back?” You looked at Negan and somewhere along the line of when you were checking for walkers and now, Lucille was with him.

He quickly looked at you. “No?! you don’t know?!” He was more nervous sounding than angry. He cursed under his breath. “All I know is we came from that road..” Negan had pointed at the road that you both knew you guys drove down. Starting the truck and driving towards the road. “Those pieces of shit. How could they just leave?!” His hand hit the dash and it made you jump. Negan looked at you before trying to calm down.

—————

It was hours after then and you and Negan had no clue where you guys were. Ending back up at the houses since you’d been marking where they were at least, made you realize that you both were fucked. Your truck was almost out of fuel and it was getting colder. you didn’t dress to be out this long.

Your truck was parked at the side of the road while you and Negan had reentered the looted house from earlier. There was only one blanket that you always kept in your truck just in case.. so you had agreed Negan used it, although it wasn’t much of a debate since you knew Negan wasn’t gonna let you have it.

He was on the bed in the room downstairs and you were on the couch out in the living room. The colder the night got, the more you shivered. Asking Negan for the blanket wouldn’t do anything, but you had to try. Standing up from the couch and taking a slow stroll over to the bedroom, the door was open but you knocked anyways. Negan wasn’t asleep but he was close to being. “What?” Negan said with a quiet, raspy voice, clear on how tired he was.

You took a step into the room. “It’s really cold.. and i was wondering if i could have the blanket..?” Asking Negan a question felt scarier than it should have.

He sat up and faced you. “fuck.. fine. but you’re staying in this room with it in case I want it back.” He agreed and unwrapped the blanket from around himself and threw it at you. You didn’t want to push anything so you wrapped it around yourself and you were going to sit on the floor before Negan spoke up again. “Don’t be an idiot. Get on the bed.” His tone was a low grumble.

You hesitantly sat on the bed next to him, wrapped up in the blanket. At times like these you wish that there were more things to do than sit in silence, but without music, or drawing supplies, no games, it was all very boring. Negan laid down next to you, covering his eyes with his arm.

It was awkward, in the same bed as the guy that you used to think hated you, but now that he saved you twice you weren’t sure. You could feel the annoyance radiating off of him with how he was acting. “You didn’t have to give me it, you know..” You spoke quietly. This made Negan uncover his eyes to look at you.

“My leather jacket is enough to keep me warm, don’t worry about it.” He put out, turning over on his side with an audible groan. You kept sat up for a little while so it didn’t look like you were copying him, until you also laid down. Cuddling up with the blanket as you pretended he wasn’t there, so you could ease your mind into sleep faster.

—————

Waking up in the morning, your blanket was still around you, but you felt another thing on you. You looked over at Negan only to find out his arm had been wrapped around you while you both slept. Maybe Negan accidentally moves a lot in his sleep, and would most likely hate waking up with him touching you at all, so you try to quietly and gently move his arm off of you. What you didn’t expect was his arm to tighten around you. His unconscious form wouldn’t allow you to move his arm off of you.

The only thing you could do was wait for him to wake up. Which obviously took longer than you’d wish. He most likely fell asleep after you then. Waiting for him felt unnecessarily long, because all you were doing was lying there silent and still. Probably ten minutes you were sat there with his arm wrapped around your waist until you felt him move, a small noise coming out of him as he finally took his arm off of you and sat up completely. To not make it seem like you were awake, you waited a little longer. He got up and walked out of the room, which made it perfect for you to finally ‘wake up.’

The blanket you used, you left on the bed. You didn’t need it as much anymore since it was day and it would get warmer out. Walking out of the room a minute after Negan did, you saw him looking out the window. “Hey Negan.” You said getting a little closer. He turns around to look at you.

“Hmm?” He hummed and looked back out the window. “Hi?” He questioned why you asked, understandably so since you guys usually never talked.

“Do you think they’ll come back for us?” Your question made Negan clench his jaw and face you again.

He looked at you for what felt like forever before he finally answer. “They better.” Was all Negan came up with. You noticed that he was getting upset, so you took that as a sign to shut up. You looked out the window as well to see what Negan happened to be looking at. There wasn’t anything out there, must have been just hoping for them to come back.

Negan and you were waiting around almost the entire day doing nothing. Since the saviors that so rudely left you took almost everything from the houses nearby there was next to nothing to actually do. You ventured into the other houses but again, all were looted by the people who left you. No sign of them even coming back yet.

You were outside laying in the grass looking up at the sky that was slowly getting darker. Negan was standing by you, you couldn’t tell if he was watching you or just watching for anything in general.

“you look dumb.” Negan spoke up, looking down at you. Which made you look up at his direction.

“I don’t see you finding anything to pass the time.” You glared, although not really fun it’s better than nothing.

Negan nods, “Yeah, and i don’t see any food on the table either, so maybe help me find some before it’s too late?” His statement made you stand up and wipe your clothes from any collected dirt.

Looking over at him, his eyes were closed. “Yeah? and how do you expect to find food? we’re not hunters.” Your statement made his eyes open. (Daryl randomly appears and hands them squirrels -Ray)

Negan stared at you for what felt like minutes yet again. His eyes weren’t only on your own, but seemed to go up and down, what felt like judgement. “I mean if they don’t come back, we’ll need to find food somehow.” Negan finally broke the silence.

“Well no duh Negan, we aren’t just gonna let ourselves starve??” Your hands go up as you shrug, annoyed. Negan’s eyes went to the ground. You sighed. “Well if we can’t hunt, since we both don’t know how i assume, how do you expect us to find food?” You said, a more logical reply.

Negan looks around. “We’ve only been around the houses we’ve already taken from, we can move out more. See if there’s anything around?” His question was reasonable, probably the most reasonable thing he’s said all day.

You walk over to the truck, which has Negan following you. As you both get in the truck and you start it, you don’t really know where to go from here. So basically the rest of the day was spent driving around. Not much talking happened yet again between the two of you, like two kids that hate eachother but the teacher paired you up anyways.

“Stop.” Negans voice was heard suddenly which made you stomp on the breaks. More or less the sudden noise scared you. “Jesus christ not that fucking’ fast!” He glared at you for your abrupt stop.

“You said stop randomly, what would you have done?!” You glared back at him. Negan ignored your comment and got out of the truck. Were you to follow him?

Hoping out of the truck to see why Negan had left, was a mistake because he started taking a piss. You sighed and walked back to the truck. He could have at least told you why, so it wasn’t weird that you followed him. Negan noticed but said nothing. You looked around the place Negan has forced you to stop at, seeing if there was anything other than woods… there wasn’t.

As you make it back to the houses from earlier.. yet again.. you found nothing nearby. Your truck was almost out of fuel, and you didn’t have any food. If Dwight doesn’t come back soon it’s gonna end up with one of us death, if not both. Making your way back inside had Negan basically pacing. This was the first time you’ve seen him actually nervous.

Walking over to him had him stop and look at you. “Are you.. okay?” Was the only thing you could think to ask. Negan sighed.

Negan nodded and began to pace again. Although you could tell he was lying, he also wanted to be seen as a ‘fearless leader.’ So of course he’d pretend. “Those fuckers left us, and they didn’t even come back!” He exclaimed, as if you didn’t know what was happening. You came up to his pacing self yet again and gently grabbed his arm to get him to quit pacing.

He stopped and looked down at you. “It’s just us. You don’t have to pretend you’re alright.” You quietly said. This made Negan let out yet another sigh.

“Okay, I’m not fine, alright?” He was still looking down at you, and your hand was still holding onto his arm. “How can i be a leader when my group isn’t with me!” He sounded frustrated.

“I’m still here.” You said which made Negans facial expressions soften. “You’re still my leader, Negan.” With what you said made Negan finally break the eye contact.

You both stayed silent, in the same position for a minute. “As much as I love being a leader, with only one follower it’s not easy.” He finally spoke up. It was your turn to sigh.

Your arm gently slid down his arm to his hand. “As much as you seem to hate me, be annoyed by me, even hate being around me. You’re not alone here.” You paused, he didn’t seem to pull away from your touch at all. “We’ll make it back to the sanctuary, you’ll be your usual leader self again. You can go back to hating me then, but for now, instead of treating me like you can’t stand being around me, let me help. Talk to me.” You spilled out what you’ve wanted to say all day. It was dumb to say half of the stuff you just said, but you had to tell him. You couldn’t stand seeing him pretend to be okay while he’s clearly frustrated and nervous. He’s your leader, and for him to be one he needs someone to follow him. You will be that someone.

Negan was speechless as he looked back up at you. You stared at eachother for minutes before he finally said something. “I never hated you.” This caught you by surprise. He paused. “You being one of the best saviors had made me nervous. That maybe someday you’d think you’re better than i was, so i avoided you.” His eyes fluttered closed, and his face scrunched up as he paused yet again. “You were always one of the best, ever since you joined the group. And it’s not an excuse for me to have been such an asshole towards you after all you’ve done for me. I’m supposed to be your leader, but i’ve treated you like absolute shit.” His voice became shaky when he finished. His eyes opened again.

You didn’t know how to reply at first, I mean what could you even say to all of that. You thought of anything else you wanted to say, about you two, or about how he felt. “Negan..” You whispered his name so he’d look at you. “I let you lead me because you’re a good leader. Even if i thought you hated me the entire time, everyone has a reason for a wall to be built up. To hide certain people away. I never once doubted you as a leader, because I know I couldn’t lead. especially not as many people as you do.” This made you both squeeze eachother hand. You wanted to continue but you didn’t originally know how do you waited until words came to mind or Negan spoke.

Without a word from either of you Negan opened his mouth to speak. “I didn’t only build up a wall for you because i thought you’d take my place. There was something about you that i noticed right away.” He paused. His body turned to face you more directly. “I saw how brave you were, how you could defend yourself, and i wanted you in my team. But when i got you.. I messed up. I’d have been better to you if I didn’t think the way I did, or feel the way I do.” He seemed like he wanted to say something specific but he couldn’t.

You rubbed at his hand. “Negan, take your time. We’ve got plenty..” This small remark made you both smile softly. Negan just nodded.

His eyes closed for a moment before he looked directly into your eyes. “After my late wife died, i thought i wouldn’t like anyone. I was wrong.” Negans voice was quiet but firm, whatever he was getting at meant something. The fact that he mentioned the one person he swore to never mention.. made this even more emotional for the both of you. “What i’m trying to get at here y/n… is that I think I might like you. And that’s why I wanted to act like I hate you, to hide the fact I fell for someone after Lucille.” His eyes never left yours, so yours didn’t leave his.

You stared at eachother for moments until you felt your cheeks heating up. How did you feel about Negan? He was rude but you always like him.. “Negan.. I can’t say I like you yet. But i’m willing to try.” Your reply made Negan smile, and go to hug you. As you were hugging for what felt like forever you heard tricks outside. Which made Negan hide you behind him as he looked out the window. It was the familiar trucks, The saviors were back.

Getting back to The Snactaury, you and Negan got to finally explore what was talked about when alone in that house together.

TAG LIST!

@pinchofhoney

@starstruck-loner

@rome-writes21

[superprincesspea]

The Arrangement Masterlist

You want Joel to take you with him when he leaves the Sanctuary. The only problem? You’re Negan’s favourite wife and, according to Joel, a total liability. But if he wants to gain Negan’s trust, he’s going to have to make you promise- escape together or not at all.

Chapter 1 - The South Walk

Chapter 2 - Perception

Chapter 3 - The Duke

Chapter 4 - Negan's Best Girl

Chapter 5 - Mondays

Chapter 6 - Mask

Chapter 7 - Charming

Chapter 8 - Coming Soon

[bethsvrse]

me staring at my ceiling after y/n does the most FLABBERGASTING thing ever

[babymangosworld]

Me when y/n is acting like a little fucking child for male validation

[12welveinched]

Me after clicking a p link thinking it was a fic rec.

Jumpscare.

[moonxnite]

y’all ever fantasize about a fictional character a little too hard to the point you’re convinced you should be admitted to a mental hospital?

[banshees-martin]

when you finally get to a chapter with the most jaw dropping, mouth watering smut ever

[mx-pastelwriting]

Saving My Fanfiction Work

First. Side note: This post was only intended to give resources to fanfiction writers and enjoyers. My talk on recent political events was a context/reasoning on why I made this post. Also I’ve had to add more information to this post over time due to people’s confusion in my comments. Explaining it was to make sure that this post didn’t come off as out of the blue for my followers and this community. Which is fanfiction.

Also, why I made this post was from people asking if they could download my fanfiction because of the recent political events in America hence why I named it “saving my fanfiction work” and added my context. So this was also a post to tell people that liked my fanfiction they could download it as long as it was for their personal collection. I merely just wanted to list resources to people who wanted to download fanfiction and don’t know where to start or don’t have the immediate resources. I’m not here to fear-monger. I am just giving resources and the reasoning on why I’m giving them along with urging people to look into those information/recent events as staying aware is important. I respect everybody who’s given their opinion and yes, some of my grammar in this post is not adequate as this post was merely made for giving/stating resources.

Lastly, I will no longer update this post with comments as I’ve said my peace, nor will I pay attention to the notifications as they are muted. As my page is for fanfiction not politics. Thank you for the people in this community who share this post for the resources see you around the tags! Stay safe friends!!✨ Remember I love you! And you are loved!💛

-

Due to the recent events in the United States. To clarify the recent events being Trump becoming president of the United States, Project 2025 more than likely going to be integrated. If you are not familiar with Project 2025 I urge you to look it up.

Along with the KOSA bill that has many problems and it has passed the senate now needing the finally vote in the house, which both are majority red. Go here to learn more on why it needs to be stopped and how you can. This is another component that will harm our communities. Go to: stopkosa.com

With all of its harmful plans some of the plans are to take down/restrict internet sites that have LGBTQ+ communities that means communities like the fan-fiction communities/sites in the United States.

I am only giving resources to those inside and out of the US in case they banned sites that hold fan-fiction. Better safe than sorry.

Being that I live in the US the possibly of mine and many others Fanfiction has the possibly of being in danger. Therefore I'm giving you recourses. (I'm not leaving or stopping my writing, I'm here for the fight!)

For those wanting to save my fanfiction, I give you permission to download them off of AO3 and to be used for your personal collection. Meaning, your eyes only. To clarify I’m saying this as others have asked if they could download my fanfic so for those who would like to you can.

If you do not know how to download them many others on online have tutorials on how to download them and add them to our phone libraries.

Here are some links to tutorials:

Downloading Fanfic

Adding to Iphone & Android Library

Adding to Kindle Library - Video on How (On TikTok)

Adding Book Covers (At the bottom) - Good EPUB Cover Changer (I use this)

Types of Files and What they mean

Please stay safe out there! Remember to follow the rules below.

DO NOT share the downloaded file anywhere online.

DO NOT repost the downloaded file under your name.

Fanfiction is protected under copyright law when plagiarism is involved. If you plagiarize my work, either a piece or whole in any language, I will take legal action. Inspiration or the same idea does NOT apply to this, only word-for-word plagiarism in any language.

♥ mx-pastelwriting does not consent to their fanfiction being copied, copied & credited, translated, used in videos and/or audios, screenshotted, used in AI, or reposted on any other platform without permission.

♥ mx-pastelwriting does give consent to "reblog," sharing links to direct work, and being in recommend lists.

Please stay safe out there friends! I love you so much! Know that there will always people that love you and in for the fight to make sure you are loved!

And here are some resources in case you don’t feel okay! Resources here

[winchesterswhore]

do you ever look at a man and think i need you in the most disgusting, vile, pathetic, animalistic, disturbing, vulgar and morally questionable way possible

[starsm00n]

Is he a scary man covered in blood? Or is he my baby girl? Spot the difference

[justsomegdude]

Negan: “Damn right I’m pretty.”

y/n: “I said petty.”

[fanfictilltheend]

End of the Year Wrap up + Updates!!

Hey fam! Thanks so much for all your support this year as I am a new blog and new to AO3 this year as well!

UPDATES:

Violent Heart (Dark stepdad!mechanic!convict!Joel x reader) slowburn fic is at 18k with no sign of stopping soon i'm so sorry I know i've been teasing it. check out snippet 1, snippet 2, snippet 3, header/mood board for part 1, header/mood board for part 2 to tide yourself over!!!

ONE BED TROPE Virgin!FairlyInnocent!Reader x Joel (About 5/6 finished lol at 6.2k words which i told myself was gonna be a short one shot lmao)

You should see me in a crown as no work on chapter 10 yet but I have ideas and HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT

Junebug (my least popular nextdoorneighbor dilf!Joel x reader fic) lol will get a second chapter with Tess x Joel x you threesome at some point hopefully soon! We deserve more of that as a community let me just say

As always it's AO3 with the same username as here // And here is my tumblr Masterlist

Love you all!!! Thanks for your enthusiasm, requests, and support!! 💕

[superprincesspea]

The Arrangement

Chapter 1 - The South Walk

You want Joel to take you with him when he leaves the Sanctuary. The only problem? You’re Negan’s favourite wife and, according to Joel, a total liability. But if he wants to gain Negan’s trust, he’s going to have to make you promise- escape together or not at all.

~~~

You look forward to mornings like this. When Negan loads his men into the grey trucks and they don’t come home before supper, perhaps even the day after that. Most times he returns in such high spirits, far too tired to do anything more than talk and boy does Negan love to talk. He would have made a great politician if he wasn’t so short tempered and foul mouthed. 

Still, he’s gone now. The rumble of trucks has faded away and the entire Sanctuary seems to breathe a collective sigh of relief. 

You don’t know what the other girls do when Negan isn’t around. None of you are close enough to share that kind of information. But you suspect a couple of wives have partners outside of their arrangement with Negan. If they do, it’s better you don’t know, better to be ignorant than fake ignorance. 

So without a word, everyone scatters. Frankie hides in her room, the others disappear down the halls and you do the same. Except you aren’t looking for company. Solitude is the friend you crave and, to get it, you’re willing to face the disapproving glances of every man, woman and child in the Sanctuary.

Being a wife may afford you countless privileges but it certainly doesn’t command any popularity or respect. No, you’re a joke to them. Hurrying by with the click of outlandishly tall patent leather heels and a miniscule dress which barely covers your rear. 

Years ago, you would have loathed the person you’d become and, part of you still does, even if you understand what it means to survive. Some people do it on their feet, others on their back. Either way doesn’t matter. If it's the difference between staying alive or shambling around the world with the rest of the dead, you’d choose living every time. 

Rounding the corner, you cut through the mess room which is always empty at this time of day and make your way through the windowless corridors to the fire exit which leads onto the south walk. 

Out here, you can breathe without scrutiny but the view isn’t much. Just rows of wooden spikes buried in the ground. They remind you of BBQ skewers except they’re not impaled with the kind of meat you’d want to eat. They collect the bodies of the dead who stray too close, some still moving, some turning to dust. Beyond that, the small patch of forest is still recovering from a fire which ravaged the trees two summers ago. 

Sometimes when the breeze picks up, the stink from down below can make your eyes burn but today the air is still, the sky overcast and much too cold to be standing outside without a jacket but you’re not going back to the apartment. At least not yet. 

Walking to the railing, you brush your fingers over the rusted flecks of paint. They had been yellow once, bright and cheerful like a rubber duck or a child's raincoat but like everything else they’re losing all colour and succumbing to dull grey. Old and tarnished. You know the feeling well.

This morning you’d discovered your first grey hair and plucked it from your head, staring at it like a traitorous thing. Youth was fading and it was all you really had. All that had kept you alive. Youth and beauty. Fickle survival tools but you hadn’t expected to rely on them for so long. 

Too preoccupied in thought, you don’t notice the man idling further down the walk until he clears his throat, letting you know he’s there. 

Watching. 

Your heart jumps just as your head whips round to see who is daring to intrude your own personal bleak view. 

Tall, broad, flecks of grey creeping into his hair and beard but a man can afford such age and wisdom. Like a fine wine, full bodied and nicely matured which is exactly what he is. He’s also a stranger to your eye but even your friends are strangers in the Sanctuary. 

“I haven’t seen you before,” you break the silence which has begun to stretch between you, wondering what kind of man Negan has dragged home from one of his grey truck adventures. 

“I’ve seen you,” he replies matter of factly and, though you can feel heat beginning to blossom on your cheeks, you ignore it. Embarrassment seems like such a trivial emotion these days.

“I guess I’m pretty hard to miss,” you say, laughing softly at your own expense. 

“Just how Negan likes it?” 

His voice has an edge of disdain which you don’t ordinarily hear from the other men. Most of them have been here too long to have any fight left and the newbies tend to fall into one of two categories. Desperately grateful and willing to lick Negan’s boots or pitifully terrified and willing to lick Negan’s boots. That’s how Negan wants his men, underfoot and under control. Just like you.

Absent-mindedly, you pull down the hem of your dress but you can’t tell this stranger that you don’t own a single decent item of clothing. So you tell him your name. 

“Joel,” he replies with some uncertainty as if he’s forgotten how to say it and you can understand. Sometimes small talk feels like an ancient practice that doesn’t belong at the harsh end of the world. Other times it feels like a deliciously indulgent treat. 

Like now. With the sun daring to peek through the clouds, touching you with a warmth so comforting you can almost ignore your surroundings. Almost believe the last few years were all a vivid and terrible dream. No before or after, only now. This moment. The sun and the stranger but in the blink of an eye the warmth is gone and the Sanctuary isn’t just in full view, it's all encompassing. 

Resting your hip against the railing, you wait a little longer to see if Joel offers any information beyond his name but he doesn’t. He remains still, his eyes filled with suspicion. 

“You’re not from around here?” you guess, moving closer, letting your fingers brush away the flecks of paint until your hand settles beside his.

“Texas.”

“A cowboy?” your tone is light, flirty though you’re not really sure why, he doesn’t seem like the playful kind. Maybe he had been once but his face is hard now. 

“A carpenter,” he replies and your eyes graze his flannel shirt and waxed cotton jacket. Old and dirty, you wouldn’t be surprised if that jacket had been old and dirty the day everything started.

Letting your eyes slide down to his boots, you stifle a small laugh.

Joel is the epitome of everything you would imagine a veteran survivor should be. Rough around the edges and almost painfully stoic, not the kind of man you would have noticed in a past life but these were strange times and you were noticing him now.

He isn’t scrawny, so he knows how to find food. He isn’t afraid, so he knows how to protect himself. Most importantly, he isn’t looking at you like a piece of meat he’d like to taste and you can’t quite remember the last time a man had stared at you with so much disinterest. 

“So what brings you to this little slice of paradise?” you say, still flirty, old habits die hard and you’ve been playing this part for a long time now. 

Joel holds off his answer for a while, his dark eyes still accessing you, still uninterested. “Just passing through, looking for my brother, Tommy.”

A sharp laugh escapes your lips. “I don’t think anyone just passes through the Sanctuary,” you say and his eyes widen, surprised by your candour and maybe you’re a little surprised too.

“I can see that,” he admits and, for a moment, you think maybe you can trust this man but the moment passes without a word before his attention turns to the door.

“I should get going.”

You don’t blame him, you wouldn’t want to hang around with you either. You’re a walking red flag, Negan’s painted doll. To look at but not touch. To laugh at but not with. To talk about but not with. 

“Maybe I’ll see you here again sometime,” you say, unnerved by your sudden urge to know this stranger, to crave more than solitude. 

He stops in his tracks, turning to look at you once again, closer this time and his eyes are a shot of espresso and so impossibly sad. They remind you of the stray dog your father had rescued when you were a girl and your heart hurts with a pang of longing to nuzzle your face into fur and warmth. 

“Don’t count on it,” he says and there’s no warmth, only bitterness as you watch the door close behind him before turning back to stare at the world beyond the Sanctuary where death and freedom walk hand in hand.

Masterlist

[bethsvrse]

“Their eyes locked from across the room”

[psychotic-star-girl]

[yourmum8609]

will die on this hill. the dad best friend fanfics that go into detail about how they have known you since your were 4 are disgusting and borderline disturbing. like your talking about having sex with a girl you literally watched grow up. ew. it’s creepy. like… no.