#No I don't know where I'll end up yet | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elgringo300 · 2 years

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Rapunzel and Tiana

rapunzel: how would you like to change your hairstyle right now?

I've been thinking about getting an army style high-and-tight. Right now my hair is really long on top.

tiana: what’s your dream job?

Hmmm. I'm in that stage in life where I'm figuring out what I actually want in life. A year ago I would have said being an author, then I found a story I want to write, tried writing it, and wow writing is hard. I will gladly leave that as a hobby. A few years ago I would have said TTRPG or board game design, but I quickly realized thats not sustainable for many reasons. Video game design would be cool in theory, and its still an option for me at the moment. From what I hear though, if you end up at a large company you experience stupid amounts of crush time, so that might quickly squash my love of game design.

Or I could go the other way, to my interest in engineering. As my path is now, I'm going to be a naval officer. That's really cool. If nothing changes, I'll be a submarine naval officer. That would be awesome. Its hard to get into, but from what I hear, as long as you really want it, you will get in.

Or I could set my stretch goals really far out, past the stratosphere, literally. Every now and then I once again get the urge to set my end goal as becoming an astronaut. And every time I think specifically about "what would your dream job be?" the idea of astronaut comes back. I've also heard of submarine officers who managed to become astronauts, which makes sense. A pressurized metal tube underwater is not much different from a pressurized metal tube in space.

So maybe thats my dream job. Astronaut. And why not? That would be awesome!

I guess the only reason is that I don't possess many of the qualities that I hear makes good astronauts. Which is actually the reason I want to be a submarine officer, to crush those qualities into me. Like self-discipline, self-motivation. Things like that. But why not at least try? Perhaps those qualities will come through when I have a tangible goal to orient myself by.

Video game design is an easily achievable career, I think, which might be why I set my sights for it. "If you aim low you'll always succeed" or something like that. But it doesn't really make much sense to aim for an easy goal, now does it? Once your life is finished, do you really want to say "Yeah, I achieved only the things that I knew I could easily do." Or would you like to say, "I set my sights in the stars, and even if I didn't quite make it, I made it so much farther than I ever thought I would."

Hm. I think my answer is Astronaut.

#we'll see #No I don't know where I'll end up yet #We'll see #sorry for uh #therapy dumping on a tumblr ask #but also thank you #this was very helpful to me #i think #the results have yet to be seen #writing out aspirations for a tumblr ask is one thing #putting down goals on paper and then accomplishing them is quite another #something i learned years ago with my eagle scout project #but we'll see #thats a very nice thing to say i think

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amethystina · 9 months

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So I just found a document in the "Yo Han's POV" folder of Who Holds the Devil that I don't remember making

And when I open it, it's just two sentences in an otherwise empty document. Which are:

"Ga On loved Yoon Soo Hyun too much, and Yo Han not enough. If at all."

... and now I kind of want to sue myself for emotional damages.

What the hell, me? Why did you leave that there? For me to stumble over? RUDE.

#Amethystina Writes #Who Holds the Devil #Or more like #The Gentle Light #I guess #Though I still don't know if I'll ever post more on that #Which is probably why this document came to be #I just wanted to write it down before I forgot it #But also ended up scarring myself when I eventually found it again #Especially since I know EXACTLY where it would go within the story #And it's a scene that hasn't happened yet #But I will say #This is one that might just end up being written #Because it's been looping inside my head for literal months now #It will not leave me alone #But it will also hurt like hell #So I'm hesitant

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dazais-guardian-angel · 2 months

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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

#bungou stray dogs #been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people #first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now #he was groomed since childhood just like dazai #but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there #and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong #but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself #which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong #and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO #where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself #and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess #and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just #One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall #he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma #and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc #it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man #both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation #i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda #and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death #oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)

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crescentfool · 5 months

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on spoiler tags

since reload is coming out soon, i wanted to give people some heads up for tags i'll be using as a courtesy. please curate your experience accordingly! if you haven't used the mute feature, here's how to 👍

i will continue to use #persona 3 for all posts related to p3 (it's my main tag)

for posts about reload specifically, i'll be using #persona 3 reload, but it might also be worthwhile to mute the abbreviations #p3r and #p3re.

for the people who don't know anything about p3, i will attempt to tag spoilers for p3's events as #persona 3 spoilers but i cannot guarantee that i will remember to do so...

i hope everyone enjoys their experience with the game! i will still post here occasionally, but in general i'll be steering clear of socmed until i'm finished with reload.

tangentially related- i expect splatoon 3's side order dlc to come out during this time. all stuff related to that dlc will be tagged with #side order and will also be tagged as #splatoon (main tag)

thank you for your time! enjoy gaming, and remember to drink water 🥤

#lizzy speaks #of course i will continue to tag the appropriate characters and ships and whatnot #but i wanted to get the main tags out there to whom it may concern... im very particular about spoilers so i want to curate bc i know there #are people who are also like me in that respect...#regarding my posts on reload it'll probably be stuff like art depicting the content that reload specifically added... gifsets... or meta #though for meta or analysis thoughts whatever i'll probably end up throwing that under the cut tbh #if you want clarification about my tagging system feel free to ask if it's unclear :D #i probably won't be browsing the tags that much but ITS OK because tumblr is an awesome website and you can easily find old posts again #was going to wait to post this but i heard from luca people were getting their copies of reload early SO. now is the time to mute methinks #oh and to those who have me on discord i'll be broadcasting which date im at in-game on my status. please don't message me about things-#i've yet to experience in reload. thank you! or at least ask where i'm at in-game before talking to me about it. LOL #take care everyone! love you all to bits :3

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cinnamon-phrog · 3 months

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Do you ever see a take in a fandom tag and you're like HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH

#it was SO contradictory too ugh. and a mutual liked it!#you disrespect me. you disrespect my whole family #you call us 'stinky poopy babies'#you punched my wife. you kick mah baby you KICKed my FOCKin BABY #you ate our dog. YOU ATE OUR HOUSE #/ref #it's always the people i like too. everytime i want to find a d/ hmis artist or mutual BAM they're mean petty and even a nonce #and mean to peoples with hc's like mine. yes yes it happens in every fandom but not to the point where literally everybody sucks!#aside from my mutuals who are casually into the show you guys are boss <33 #a d/ hmis artist will tell me they don't care/ even like my hc's and i'll feel great #a couple months later and they're talking shit about it or liking posts about why people who have said hcs are somehow predatory #as if there aren't actual predators in the tags and their little supportive minions running amuck. who draw LITERAL cp of Yellow #i'm not mad anymore i've become very numbed to this. i end up losing 'friends' to the point where i don't know how to make them anymore.#'course that doesn't mean i'll stop trying though. but give benefit of the doubt and be MASSIVELY let down.#or assume the worst. be RIGHT and yet still be somehow worse for assuming.#so i'm just gonna not interact. i'll still put my s/elfship stuff in the tags though i am above guilt or shame now. Look At My Post Boy #cuz like if all these people can get away with being petty and two faced then i can get away with smooching puppets #make Love not War

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darlin-collins · 2 months

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when you realize that you can't remember when you last opened any redacted tags on Ao3:...

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youremyonlyhope · 2 months

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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director #and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production #and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out #but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again #i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately #so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me #i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me #i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added #and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad #anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great #but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else #but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing #and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us #and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing #and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more #especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING #and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented #if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt #i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help #and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh #brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.

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zemnarihah · 3 months

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i think one of the worst feelings in the world is having uncertainty about your living situation it is literally so stressful and there's like... not much i can do right now...

#so k is still planning on moving and may be leaving the 16th of may. but doesn't know for sure. but apparently the apartment she wants says #she has to notify our apartment now that she will be leaving which means we both have to sign something that says she's leaving and i'm #taking responsibility for the lease.... and she doesn't know that she has it yet so she doesn't have someone to move in and take her spot.#i'm trying to get my friends to move in but idk if they will probably not. regardless if k leaves and we don't have anyone then i like #legally have to pay the full rent. i don't think she would leave me hanging like that but also i feel so uncomfortable betting my whole #financial situation on that because i would LITERALLY get evicted. like i cannot afford that under any circumstances. sooo.#and on top of that i'm still so scared that i'll end up with a roommate i don't like. ik that's like not even that big of an issue like i've #had that before and i'll survive but i don't want to have to deal with that like ik im being a baby but i just feel so scared about the #whole thing #like i kind of want to say no to signing the thing but that would screw kate over and definitely blow up our friendship but i really don't #feel like our friendship is in a place where i feel like i can trust her with like. my whole entire bank account and credit score. bc like.#that's what's at risk.#idk i'm gonna talk to her about it and just make sure that there's no other way and make sure that she promises to pay her part of the rent #until someone takes it over. and also probably talk to my parents and see if they're willing to bail me out if she DOES fuck me over... i'm #99.99999% sure she won't but. idkkkk my brain is just nagging me abt that one little chance...

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m4niackkyun · 1 year

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Hi. (Announcement in the tags)

#uhmm...i don't know how to explain this...#so my family has been having a lot of trouble lately #mostly our relationship with our step father #there's been ups and downs..well..more on the downer side. the only main reason my mother married him was because of..well..#money..as trash as that sounds. i can't deny the fact that I've been able to continue my studies due to his financial support.#i don't want to justify anything that i've probably done wrong to him but emotionally right now—i'm simply scarred to the point where—#I don't think I could heal without professional help. I've been struggling a lot with it ever since of what he did #i felt disgusted. dirty. I felt lost. I didn't want to forgive him. maybe this is the punishment i have to endure because I didn't have it—#—in me to forgive him. I know the principles of my religion and it is stated that one must always find forgiveness towards others.#no matter how big their mistake is. but you see—I'm not God. I am human. my kindness isn't as grand and as big as Him.#my patience is limited and so is my forgiveness #that applies the same to my mother. my mother is a very patient person when it comes to her husband. but yet again she isn't an angel—#nor is she God. she is also human and has limits to what she could handle and what she could forgive and forget.#they argued tonight. and I don't think it'll slide or end well like the past arguments. and I'm sorry to say but—#I won't be able to be active all that much either.#without him now I'll probably have to look for part time jobs. which is gonna limit how active I will be here and on my main account #I will probably go into an indefinite hiatus for some time #maybe I'll come back...maybe I won't. hopefully I will. just...pray for me that I have it in me to continue doing what I love and—#—sharing these little bits of what I do in my free time with you.#I won't have the time to reply to anything for the time being. college tests are on the way and I have to prepare myself for—#—the better or worse.#if things go downhill and you don't hear from me for a long while. then this will probably be my last post here.#I'll still be able to reply to messages on other platforms #but I just don't have the emotional stability to talk right now. No it's gonna be fine. I have faith in me and God.#I know that He doesn't put His children into burdens that none of them could handle.#and if He thinks I could handle this. then I will. and I can. He is with me and so is all of your faith.#that puts me in a sense of reassurance a little hahah...#yeah.. so...I'll see you then..bye.

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iknowwhereyousleepatnight · 10 months

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i have classes again! (i do not know if this is good or not yet) so i will not be able to draw as often. that or i will be drawing extra as a way to procrastinate working on assignments

#ughhhhh i hate transitioning from no classes to classes again this shit sucks #i love being in class but it takes a while before my brain can get used to being in school mode #i wish they just never gave me breaks i would like that a whole lot better #i'm also having a crisis thinking about changing my major #but idk if that's because i actually want to or if i'm just v uncomfortable rn at the thought of having to learn how to be in school again #at the very least i get to go to class looking great today #yesterday i got my hair dyed so now it's neon red orange and yellow #someone told me i look like someone was making their first OC and they had fire powers #another told me i looked like sunset shimmer from mlp #at the very least i look rad as hell and it will make up for whatever horrible thing i end up doing wrong today #i really should've tried to take a class with a prof i'm familiar with but nooooo i waited too long to choose classes #and now i'm stuck with people i don't know who are going to say words to me when all i want is to not say a single word all day long #also i had to wake up at 5:30 today and will probably have to again bc i don't drive so i carpool and they have to work early as fuck #and now i'm on campus and also locked out of the buildings because i can't get the ID scanner to work and the buildings don't unlock yet #at least the feral cats keep me company in these trying times #and waking up early means that i'm just tired enough to not give a fuck anymore so at least i'm not sobbing on the floor (yet)#i'll probably try to save that for after classes end #though i'm feeling strangely okay today which i think might just be the grace period between transitions where i get to act like a human #before i freak out later #or maybe i just missed being in class enough to beat the bad vibes out of me? (probably not but i can hope)#i'm just saying words at this point but that's okay #i'm sure i'm interesting enough for everyone to love hearing about my morning #in which case i want everyone to know that i got the stupidest jacket from the thrift store a while back #and i am rocking it rn #every day i get up and get dressed i look in the mirror and see someone who would fit in better as an art student #but art doesn't make you money and i've lived in poverty too long to go with that #but if i'm stuffed somewhere where i have to have natural hair color and boring clothes at an office job i will probably go batshit tbh #the goal is to be so valuable in whatever field i choose that i get to do whatever i please #like L #anyway i have said so many words

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zivaninja · 1 year

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okay clown shoes on for a sec but there’s more twists to this bloodline story. it’s not as simple as roman just retaliating against jimmy now.

so much of this story is about jey. the bloodline was built off the back of roman controlling jey. jey is still under roman’s say, for multiple reasons. jimmy doing what he did only aggravates those reasons.

I don’t think the bloodline is fully imploded until jey gets his say

#jey uso #roman reigns #jimmy uso #okay right so ro's gonna try and kill jimmy for what he did #but I think jey's not gonna be on jimmy's side straight away #bc he wasn't at the end there!#I think something similar to how jey apologised for the both of them a few weeks ago is gonna happen again #but more extreme #I don't think jey kicks ro's face in too on friday #not yet anyway #a big part of why jey is where he is is to protect jimmy #but I don't think jimmy realises the extent of that anymore #hence why he said and did what he did #he doesn't know what jey really went through in 2020 #he can't be the one to cause the full implosion bc of it #I'll shut up soon I promise

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lunaria--annua · 2 years

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I have no true break from school, or no break long enough to do any digital art/ anything more complicated than quick paper scribbles except on December 21th, 22th, 23th... The only free days I have left in this year. (And Christmas is spent with family, as you probably guessed. But right after Christmas is over I immediately need to focus on school again). I will have no time during January as well. (I'm not even trying to get the best grades! I'M TRYING TO PASS!!!)

It sucks, it's not like I've abandoned this blog or art, or my stories/ characters- which I have been thinking and making notes on all this time, rewriting bits, changing things... Some of the art posts here are outdated now, even!

But I don't have time... It's so frustrating.

I'll try reblogging here and there, but other than that, nothing.