#No explainations for the next onces cause I don't feel like typing em all out but...

[kettlefire]

As Good as Good Gets (DP X DC Snippet)

Richard "Dick" Grayson is the golden child. In the eyes of the public, and in the eyes of the league. Dick is a sweet, caring son, a man who went from being a sidekick to being a hero. The pipeline from Robin to Nightwing had many people applauding his dedication to keeping Gotham safe.

No one knew the full story, not truly. No one but Bruce Wayne himself. And maybe a certain butler. Many don't know that Dick only became Robin to stop him from hunting down and killing the man who killed his parents.

No one really knows about the harsh fights and arguments he has had with Bruce. The times when Dick would find himself cut off from the Wayne name for a week or so. No one knows that the first person Dick warmed up to was Alfred. Having been bribed with cookies.

Things weren't always this good, trusting, happy relationship between Bruce and Dick. It had been a rough ride, a complicated one. But that was okay, because it got better.

Dick stopped being so moody and angsty. He grew up, he learned, and he changed. He became an older brother, found people that needed him. Needed him in a way that the citizens of Gotham didn't need him.

His brothers like to call him annoying. A goody two shoes who Bruce trusted more than everyone else. They couldn't fathom how someone like Dick could be so stupid and bubbly at all times.

All times, except when shit hits the fans. Despite the name calling, despite coining Dick as the stupid Wayne. They all knew better. They knew that when it mattered, Dick Grayson always pulled through. He was a force to be reckoned with when needed.

The whole Wayne family was a force to be reckoned with when called for. It didn't have to be under the guise of costumes and vigilante acts. Whether he was Officer Grayson or Nightwing, Dick was a man with his morals and values.

One night on patrol as Officer Grayson, Dick found someone who needed that force. A force willing to protect and care for the innocent. The hurt. The damaged, yet still good.

It started like any other night. A call of shots fired by an empty warehouse. There was no sighting or knowledge of any rouges being there, so Dick took the call. Told the team he'll contact them if it seems more than just a civilian incident.

The warehouse was dark, reeked of copper and oil. It didn't take long for Dick to find the trail. The liquid he found looked like the person had been dragged before walking. There was a clear struggle, even with the mess and emptiness that was the warehouse.

That wasn't Dick's biggest concern. The concern lay in just how much blood there was. Too much for any normal person to lose and still manage to stumble through the warehouse.

It wasn't just blood. It wasn't that much, but Dick could spot the strangeness in the liquid. The mixed in green that had an eerily similar color and glow as a certain pit.

Without thinking, Dick followed the trail. Barely remembering to make contact with his family. Give them an update on what he found. Words telling him to stay put for backup went in one ear and out the other.

Something in Dick's gut was telling him he couldn't wait. He needed to find the source. Whoever was currently bleeding out in this warehouse. He silenced the comm, moving further through the dimly lit building.

Then Dick found it. Or more so, he found him. It was just a boy. A boy that reminded Dick too much of the youngest Wayne. A boy sat against a wall, looking pale and weak.

Red and green coated the front of the boy's shirt, arms wrapped tightly around his middle. An attempt to stem the bleeding. A puddle had already started to form beneath the boy, and Dick moved without thinking once again.

He quickly found himself kneeling beside the boy, hands carefully reaching out. Before Dick even touched him, the boy flinched. Eyelids suddenly opened, wide and terrified blue eyes landed on Dick's.

In just that one look, Dick knew what he had to do. The haunting, terrified, and pained look in the boy's eyes told Dick everything he needed to know. The boy was in danger. Someone had hurt this kid, and it was clear it wasn't the first time.

The boy struggled weakly against Dick's touch, terrified whimpers, and barely coherent pleas spilled from the kid's lips. It had Dick's heart aching, clear as day the poor kid has been through hell and back.

It took a lot of reassurance, gentle touches, and promises of help before the kid let Dick take a look at the bleeding wound. A promise on Dick's soul had been the final thing that earned him any semblance of trust. A strange promise, but Dick was willing to make it.

That concern turned to pure anger the moment Dick managed to pull the sticky shirt away from the wound. The sight of a Y-incision cut perfectly into the skin, stitches tight on the skin, but blood still leaking heavily from the wound.

It didn't take long for Dick to realize why. Despite the perfect surgical care of the wound, a good couple of stitches had broken. Leaving gaping spots for that red and green liquid to pour out of.

The boy was deathly silent, tears streaking down his cheek as wide blue eyes stayed trained on Dick. In that moment, Dick knew he had to help. Had to get the kid to safety, patch him up, and find out what kind of monster would do this.

It didn't matter if the kid was human or not. It didn't matter if the kid had special abilities or not. No one, absolutely no one, deserved to be vivisected.

The kid was shrouded in mystery, but that mystery only seemed to grow and become clearer when Bruce had entered the scene. The boy had tensed, eyes flashing a bright glowing green.

Lazarus pit green.

It set a pit of dread in Dick's gut. His mind brings forward memories of Jason. Jason, after his revival, after his dip in that cursed pit. The same flash that his brother would get if he got too angry. Too emotional.

As much as Dick wanted to focus on finding who did this, if it had any connection to Ra's al Ghul. He couldn't. Not when the kid tried to get up, to pull away as Bruce and the others made their way closer.

Right now, Dick only cared about making sure the boy was okay. Fixing those stitches, getting him a meal, and a warm bed.

He needed to get this kid someplace where he felt safe and secure. Comfortable and protected. Dick wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the promise he had made, but he wasn't letting anyone get to the kid.

That included his family. As strange as it seemed, Dick put himself between the others and the kid. Shooting them all a glare that they had only ever seen a handful of times.

Dick lifted the poor boy up in his arms, cradling the crying child close as he led the way out of the warehouse. Ignoring the questions or confusion coming from Bruce and the others. As Dick walked, feeling the trembling boy clinging to him, he made a rather obvious realization.

Maybe the eldest son really was more like Bruce than he expected. Just a few short moments the the boy, a boy that Dick didn't know his name, and he was ready to pull out adoption papers. To give the boy a safety he so desperately needs.

Give him the chance that Bruce had given him all those years ago.

[itsameme-nando]

WELCOME TO THE INFANTRY - Fitzy Mess:

Oh so your the newest PFC welcome to da infantry around here we like

To do things a little differently

I know your drill instructor taught Those morals and those ethics

but you gotta put that to the side toKill more efficiently,

I'm kidding G,

While your family's puttin up the Christmas tree

You'll be in the middle east fight and while your "Mrs." Cheats.

Yeah,

it be funny if it wasn't true,

but to be completely honest It makes me quite uncomfortable

To think of all the things you'll suffer through before you 22

But the thing that's fucking cool is all

Your boys got a suffer too,

You'll all get closer than you think

I led a rifle squad before I was Old enough to drink

so I share with you what I wish somebody woulda Told to me,

you'll get told what to do till your bold enough to think

And On Thursday's there best not be no mold up in your sink or

They'll be Beatin down your door and they gone choke you till your Pink,

relax kid you seem a little tense

let me tell you a little story about my first weekend at the bricks,

Me and bobby we put on a lil flick, drink a lil bit,

Staying low cause the sr lance is scheming on the hit

but it didn't take long before they pounded down my door

and I was thinking damn I shouldn't have fucked around and joined the corps,

They set two fourlokos down side by side,

Made us chug em and then fight these guys twice my size,

A couple hours later I was puking off the cat walk,

I tried to stumble back and face planted on the asphalt

next morning no surprise I didn't feel to well,

Did a trouser check and was surprised I didn't shit my self,

You solve a lot of problems with the beers and the bottles here,

Cause you'll be hurtin but your weakness won't get coddled here,

Cause when it's a buck twenty and your rockin gear,

You gotta respond to the contact like you ain't got no fear,

So recognize the science and don't ever try to hide it,

It's a really good reason your desensitized to violence,

So every time ya fighting and you jeopardize your life,

You gotta do it for ya brothers to ya left and to ya right,

I pick my pen up and write so I can tell you my advice,

This'll suck a lot worse if you expect to be nice,

Cheer up come on man why da long face,

Did ya join for college money are you in the wrong place?

Hear me out,

see dis job it really pushed me to da max

but I didn't do it for da pussy or to brag,

I did it cause I love my fuckin country and my flag so fuckin much

I woulda came back to my country in a bag,

So I hope your not here for ya dress blues or a new car,

Understand that this shit is much bigger than you are,

When I was you I wish someone would have approached me and explained,

Why they did but I was just to busy moaning and complaining,

I hold you to the statement that you'll take this information

and make the the best out your new vacation destination,

In your shoes all I did was bitch about i hate it,

Now I'd turn the clock back with out a once of hesitation,

Cause once your separated from ya military service

you can loose your sense of purpose

it could have you feelin worthless,

You grow a little gut

and your hairline recedes,

You'll be tellin boring stories like "Yo back in the Marines"

no one cares

so go hit up Guz to get bitches,

And buy dat mustang at like twenty percent interest,

Try to get the digits from you cuties your talkin to,

And hope that your homie jumps on that grenade like Kyle Comperton,

Take advantage of the time to party with ya friends,

Cause on Monday you'll be marching to the armory again,

From a zero three weapons draw to a hike until your feet are raw

Remember when your Steppin off that that's what infantry is for,

Yeah this isn't for the weak,

you'll be diggin fighting holes and living in em for a week,

In the cold in the rain gettin no type of sleep,

To prepare yourself for what you'll be doin overseas

and hopefully your time will go much smoother than mine,

There were time I really felt like I was loosing my mind,

You'll get criticized by people that just wouldn't last a day,

And every other month another friend will pass away,

I'm trying to keep you positive about your time here in The corps

cause we loose more to suicide than we do to the war.

[katsukikitten]

Ooh ooh! For the prompt game, 31 and our boy Katsuki? Just that line already has my heart racing and if you give me more context oh my… but of course, only do this one if you want to!!

On another note I hope you’re having a fantastic summer and are taking good care of yourself!

A/N : Great minds think alike I see 👀 my summer has been rainy but good. Lookin ta be sun all next week so I'll be in the POOL

PROMPT : I think you're in love with me.

Large hot palms have you pinned to the cracked training mat. Keeping your thrashing movements to a minimum as he hooks his feet into the back of your knees, keeping all of his weight onto your pelvis.

Asshole.

What was with him anyway? Constantly choosing you as his partner. Constantly taking you to long and boring meetings making you write down each and every word, VERBATIM just for him to toss the paper with your tightly looped font into the can with a hiss. "Don't need em"

He was picking and singling you after your first year at this agency and he didn't once let up.

Especially not during training.

And especially not after the incident, of the close call you had brushing shoulders with Death.

As if getting electrocuted by the villain while you were holding up a falling building was your fault. When someone was meant to watch your flank.

But that was all under the bridge now, you were perfectly healed thanks to your secondary quirk that let you bounce back from almost anything.

Still you find yourself pinned under the brutish ash blonde who snarls more than he does frown. Glaring down at you with poison bromine eyes as his grip tightens on your wrists as they groan in protest. He leans closer to you, nose close to yours.

"Again." And with a roll of your eyes you indulge your boss once more.

Throwing a dirty sucker punch before he's ready, still his agile body moves with quickness as he dodges your mighty fist, only to catch it in his own. Pulling you quickly into his chest, so harshly that you bounce off of his hardened muscles before he pulls you back into his chest. Sharing mingled breath before a moment in time slows down, his free hand coming down to squeeze your hip with an intensity that matches his burning ember gaze.

It dawns on you then, when his eyes flicker to your parted, panting mouth for a fraction of a second, exactly what's going on here. This is explains it, explains the rumor of him staying in your hospital room after visiting hours were up. Explains how he your favorite lunch order shows up on your desk with his paper thin excuse that the place fucked his up at first. How your chap stick never runs out and just how your water bottle is always, always full.

As if it were some type of magic.

Although you didn't know him totally, you know Bakugou Katsuki well enough to see that he only did things like this to people he liked.

A devilish cat smile forms on your lips as if you were finally the big bad cat that caught the sad little mouse.

"I think you're in love with me." It comes out sanguine, eyes twinkling with mischief in the harsh lighting of the basement agency gym.

Confirmation comes in a deep blush that rushes up his thick throat and burns brightly at the tips of his ears, eyes widening. His mouth flounders open to retort but before he can you rear your head back.

Slamming your forehead into his causing him to loose his footing and falls on his ass onto the mat.

He props himself on his elbows as you've earned a nasty glare as you laugh loudly watching a giant bruise form on tender skin. Shocked to finally get down to the bottom of his hot and cold nature.

Before he can rise you straddle him, for once allowing yourself to feel him beneath you. Shoving his shoulders into the mat and leaning over his face closely.

Lips brushing his with the same cat smile on your face as you send a shiver down his spine with one spiced honeyed word.

"Again."

[little-smartass]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT COVER ALBUM - the legendary Vampire Lestat is back and bigger and badder than ever, this time bringing a whole album of song covers ranging from classic bangers to newer fresh takes on chart hits! get your copy now, complete with a transcript of the artist's commentary on each song!

(songs I think Lestat would cover and release as an album in an attempt to re-kickstart his career and/or make some sort of dramatic statement to Louis. tracklist and "artist commentary" under the cut)

Survival - Muse

“And I’ll reveal my strength, to the whole human race, yes I am prepared, to stay alive, and I won’t forgive, and vengeance is mine, and I won’t give in, because I choose to thrive! Yeah I’m gonna win!”

Oh, I wish this song had been around back on that opening night at the Cow Palace - how apt that would have been! What a fucking anthem! They would have been rioting all night. I mean, they already were, but, like, because of the music. Not because vampires were being immolated in the middle of the crowd. Different kind of riot.

The Bitch Is Back - Elton John

“I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch, oh the bitch is back, stone cold sober as a matter of fact, I can bitch, I can bitch, ‘cause I’m better than you, it’s the way that I move, the things that I do!”

One day I want to have this play as I walk into Night Island. I’ll time it perfectly so that I throw off my coat - my denim jacket, or- oh, no, a fur! Maximum drama! - just as the chorus starts. Armand will know that I’m coming of course, but I think that’ll just make it even better. And I have good memories to this song... [muffled question] Sorry, gentlemen don’t kiss and tell, bébé. [laughter]

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic

"Oh my, feels just like I don’t try, look so good I might die, all I know is everybody loves me, head down, swaying to my own sound, flashes in my face now, all I know is everybody loves me”

Look, do I even need to explain this one? Didn’t think so.

Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

"I don't give a damn ‘bout my reputation, I've never been afraid of any deviation, and I don't really care if you think I'm strange, I ain't gonna change - and I'm never gonna care bout my bad reputation"

This one's fairly self-explanatory again. It could have been my personal anthem when I was mortal quite honestly. And it's an awful lot of fun to jump about and headbang to, don't you think? That's a new thing I've found out about, headbanging. People have been hopping about to music looking like fools for centuries but now there's a name for it. Fantastic.

bad guy - Billie Eilish

"I’m that bad type, make your mama sad time, make your girlfriend mad type, might seduce your dad time… I’m the bad guy. Duh.”

Creepy? Check. Sexy? Check. Tongue-in-cheek? Check check. This song was great and a lot of fun to cover.

Lover to Lover - Florence + the Machine

“I believe there’s no salvation for me now, no space among the clouds, and I feel I’m heading down, but that’s alright, that’s alright, that’s alright”

I don’t know, this one just felt very relevant. Also the piano was great to do. You might have noticed that I’ve picked a lot of songs with piano, and that’s because I bullied the studio into getting me a goooooorgeous grand piano for the recording space and I wanted to use it as much as possible!

Feeling Good - Muse

“Stars when you shine, you know how I feel, scent of the pine, you know how I feel, oh freedom is mine, and I know how I feel”

I just really like this song - I’ve done a cover of an excellent cover! Can- can you put emojis in this? Do people still use emojis? Well imagine I’ve put the shrug one. Wait, isn’t there- Daniel, Daniel, come here, isn’t there a shrug emoji made up of keyboard- [muffled words] yes! The shrug one! Yes, put that in the transcription. [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] I just like this song.

The Man - The Killers

“I got gas in the tank, I got money in the bank, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man, I got skin in the game, I got a household name, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man”

I feel like this one speaks for itself too. Can you put that shrug emoji thing in here again? [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] Yes!

J'ai Pas Envie - MIKA

J'ai pas envie, de faire comme si, comme les maris, qui disent oui, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie d'te faire plaisir, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, si tu m'aimes viens me le dire"

Look, I'm not going to translate the whole song for you, because it has all this clever wordplay you just totally lose in english… but the gist of it is that these two lovers are… at odds a lot. It's… it's maybe a little spiteful [laughter] but in a fun way! It's a fun song! Louis won't even be mad about it, it's MIKA.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

"When I'm not with you, think of you always (I miss those long hot summer nights), when I'm not with you, think of me always, always"

[Long pause] God, I miss Freddie.

Let 'Em Talk - Kesha

Ah, full disclosure - I put this song in purely because of the expression Louis made when I played it in the car and it got to the line “can suck my dick” and she did that popping noise… it was incredible, and I just knew I had to cover it so I could see his expression when I said that. I can’t wait to play it to him. [laughter]

So What - P!nk

"So so what, I'm still a rockstar, I got my rock moves, and I don't need you, and guess what? I'm having more fun, and now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine, (and you're a tool, so)"

I'm actually a big fan of nineties and noughties female stars - all that grrrrrrrl power, it's great fun, you know? I'd say this one is fairly self-explanatory, because I am still a rockstar! This is my new album! Fuck you EMP and your sniffy little article calling me "washed up"!

Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons

"But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?"

This one could be self-deprecating, but it's also very vindictively angry at the same time, and that's a combination I definitely get. Like, oh, it's my fault, isn't it? It's my fucking fault again, what a surprise. Perhaps "learn from your mother or you'll spend your days biting your own neck" is a little on the nose… [muffled words] you've read my books, right? [muffled words] Good, good.

Missy - The Airbourne Toxic Event

"But I swear there's still some good in me, I think if you'd stuck around you'd see, all the botched attempts at integrity I once had"

Oh, I was feeling philosophical when I picked this one. No, philosophical isn't the right word… melancholy? Do people still use that word? "I swear I swear I swear I'll never get sad" is both furiously defiant and yet so self-defeatingly ironic. [Exasperated noise] Enough of that. Next!

Please Don't Leave Me - P!nk

"I don't know if I can yell any louder, how many times have I kicked you out of here, or said something insulting? I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of nearly anything, when my heart is broken… (please, please don't leave me)"

Oh, we’re… we’re getting to this section now. [clearing throat] Well, I have to make up for that sucking dick line, don’t I? Get a bit vulnerable. Oh God, why did I decide to do this bit? [muffled words] [bad chicago accent] But why buy the cow? Because you love him, you really do. [sigh, laughter]

Next To Me - Imagine Dragons

"Oh, I always let you down, shattered on the ground, still I find you there, next to me, and oh, the stupid things I do, I'm far from good it's true, still I find you, next to me"

Why did I- I don’t remember putting so many of these ones in.

Run To You - Pentatonix

"I've been settling scores, I've been fighting so long, but I've lost your war, and our kingdom is gone... how shall I win back your heart which was mine? I have broken bones and tattered clothes, I've run out of time"

[Sigh] [clears throat] Yeah. I think we can move onto the next one.

Love of My Life - Queen

“Love of my life, don't leave me, you've stolen my love, you now desert me, love of my life, can't you see? Bring it back, bring it back, don't take it away from me, because you don't know, what it means to me”

I play this one sometimes on my baby grand when we've had a fight, and it's impossible for him to stay angry. He's a sucker for this sort of… formality in romance. God, I wish I'd realised that earlier. If I'd written him a letter in fancy copperplate script with scented paper and enclosed rose petals politely requesting him to bend me over his desk back in the day, it might not have taken two centuries of mutual blue balls for us to figure our shit out. Ah well, live and learn… as it were. [muffled words] Look, I did a whole bunch of vulnerable songs! Now I get to make sex jokes! [laughter] oh fuck off.

[mymarifae]

you likely suspected i would be coming in here w opinions on ur deltamess au. so. here i am bc i do be thinking the brain is moving a hundred miles a minute. for one, fucking f’s in the chat for asgore. got handed two MAJOR L’s this round. we’ll get em next time, boys! but also oh my god poor kris. NOT ONLY are they dealing w the divorce, but now their big brother is just GONE. AND ASGORES SICK TOO???? LIKE. GODDAMN. SOMEONE GIVE THAT KID A CHOCOLATE BAR AND A NAP. getting hit left and right with some serious mental scarring that would just cause them to probably fold in on themselves even more (going from the quiet weird kid to just the weird kid bc they like. don’t talk. ever.)

also i like how you phrased berdly as being “widely disliked” bc i think him being swapped w susie would kind of turn his arrogance into a more palpable aggression. like berdly isn’t concerned with competition. he KNOWS he’s the best (he isn’t—but he’ll force himself to believe it) and he will DEFINITELY remind you. the kind of arrogance that just reeks of insecurity but in a way that most would not sympathize with. and i like the specific phrasing of susie being “banned from all spelling bees” bc i personally think the reason is her and berdly got into a fight. bc susie in this universe is Actively trying to keep her grades afloat (borrowing some of normal berdlys tenacity and perseverance with her own aggressive nature) but she just struggles. so her and berdly bump heads a lot and i think the spelling bee is just where shit got messy.

(the reason berdly didn’t get banned as well is bc he still looks like. well. berdly. and so they just Assumed susie started it. even tho she didn’t)

but i just like. ohhh my goddd i love this i love aus. usually deltaswap aus make me -__- bc i lived through the underswap era and Know how unoriginal people can be. but there’s just so much HERE so much care put into who is getting put where and why that i oghhhhh love it. this was probably too long anyways HGNBD

HI MICHELLE!!!!!!

KRIS IS GOING THROUGH A LOT YEAH. i'm balancing it out with the fact that susie has pretty much always been their best friend :) they're not as withdrawn as you might think! still quiet, still weird, still private about a lot of things, still a little menace and they've got susie being a menace right along with them <3

your idea for the spelling bee is good... works perfectly and i was considering something similar when i was thinking about going for something not so silly. i still might double back on it But. she's actually banned from spelling bees because she signs up, gets up on stage, and proudly spells FUCK and instantly disqualifies herself. she did this for three years in a row before they got sick of her shit and banned her permanently

...maybe that's just what she tells people but the real reason is closer to what you described? idk! i'll get to kris and susie's Stuff once i have a feel for "chapter 1" and can start planning chapter 2 in earnest. we'll see what i settle on >:)

she does put a little more effort into school but she's more of the class clown type. she gets undyne off topic and wastes class time and everyone loves her for it. she and kris may not be top of the class in terms of grades but they're definitely kind of the most popular? hard 2 explain.

for berdly it was interesting because like. we still don't know what susie's situation is 🤔 so that made the whole "characters personalities stay the same while their circumstances swap" idea a little hard. but we're just going to go with the assumption that susie recently moved to hometown and it's hard adjusting to life in an itty bitty town where everyone has known each other all their lives...

it's kinda like. ok so berdly, if he had never found school and grades as something to base his personality around and pull a sort of False confidence from. he never got the courage to put himself out there. no praise to go to his head. that whole "forgettable bluebird" thing remains his norm, and he just withdraws more and more and grows more sullen

eventually, like susie, he does turn towards acting out in a more aggressive way. that mindset of "ok if people are going to avoid me for no reason i'm going to give them a reason at least." it's one way to gain back a little control of their lives... like susie, it's not like he's actually a bully but any attempts to talk to him do not go well LOL. there's a few rumors floating around about him being involved in some fights... but it's not like anyone can get a confirmation or denial out of him

he also doesn't put any effort into school. or like. anything. he ditches most of the time. like, "no one notices so WHO CARES. i mean i care actually i care a lot. but i'm going to pretend i do not." he's still weirdly arrogant about it though..?? or he tries to be. at some point noelle asks him why he's never in class and he spouts some nonsense about how smart he is and how great his grades would be and that if he worked to his full potential it would "make the rest of the class feel hopelessly inferior." and noelle's like ? what

berdly: i believe i was quite clear?

noelle: if you're so good why don't you like. ever prove it...?

berdly:

berdly:

berdly: shut the fuck- i'm going back to clover's team

he's <3 a jerk. but much like meeting lancer is a turning point for susie, meeting clover sparks a neat little change inside him...

[whumpmatsus]

aaaa are you still taking the sickfic requests?? maybe "don't speak" with choro as the sickie pls?

SickFic Prompts / ACCEPTING!

Don’t Speak - (character) has a horribly sore throat and is reduced to barely talking while they load up on hot drinks and soup to recover.

yesssss always!!! I had so much fun with this, it hit me right in the Honey Nut Feelios and I hope it does the same for u, sunshine 😩

-

After still feeling like total crap for several days while his brothers were almost completely recovered from the cold they’d all caught, Choromatsu finally breaks down and goes to the doctor.

He doesn’t really want to. Being sick is something they all hate, and continuing to suffer after everyone else felt better is just astronomically unfair. Sometimes he thinks he can will himself back to health if only he sleeps and takes medicine and does everything a sick person is supposed to do.

The others prod at him to get checked out, though, considering the fact that lately every time he’s tried to speak, it’s set off a cough and is painful even to those just listening.

When he comes back home with a pharmacy bag and an informational sheet proclaiming that he’s been diagnosed with laryngitis, it explains a lot.

He has little choice but to hand the sheet over to Osomatsu as Karamatsu comes over to help remove his scarf and coat and walk him over to the kotatsu. The eldest of them doesn’t necessarily know best all the time, but usually when one of them is sick or hurt with more than a cold or a tiny scrape, Osomatsu often slides into big brother mode and shows a surprising amount of maturity.

For once, Choromatsu is actually glad his oldest brother is taking charge of the situation.

“Okaaaay, guys,” he calls as Choromatsu settles in at the table. “So this thing says Choromatsu has… acute laryngitis. The doctor thinks it’s because he had a cold, I guess, since it says ‘viral cause’. Huh.”

Everyone else is already seated around the kotatsu since it’s the middle of winter and freezing. Jyushimatsu’s arm shoots up right away. “Oh! What’s laryngitis? That’s a funny word. Are we gonna get it too?”

Choromatsu opens his mouth to try and explain, like usual. Instead, he manages to get out a weak, “Probably not,” before he starts to cough.

“Hey,” Osomatsu pouts as Karamatsu pats the third eldest on the back, “this thing says you’re not supposed to talk if you can help it, Fappymatsu. So, y’know… shut up.”

What he gets in return for his efforts is an unimpressed glare.

Osomatsu grins, running a finger under his nose before looking back at the information sheet. “Well, I’m not wrong! Okay, so… the cold was contagious, but it says the actual laryngitis isn’t. It’s just some kind of throat thing that happened because of the cold. So it might happen for the rest of us, but I doubt it since we’re all feeling better already. Choromatsu just has bad luck, I guess.”

Karamatsu hums in thought and continues to rub his brother’s back. “Hmph, we’re probably safe then. Which means we just have to focus on taking care of our dear brother. How do we do that?”

Choromatsu holds the bag from the pharmacy up, allowing Ichimatsu to snatch it and dump the contents out on the table. He points toward the things he picked up at the doctor’s recommendation ― over-the-counter painkillers, lozenges, a throat spray, and cough syrup. There’s other stuff mixed in too, like tissues and a jar of yuzu-cha and a magazine. Though he could have lived without everyone seeing that, it’s not a huge deal.

Osomatsu waves the paper before picking through everything on the table. “Well, it says they don’t have any kind of prescription to give him. No antibiotics since it’s viral. Looks like it says the cough medicines and painkillers might help. ‘Home remedies may also provide temporary relief’… like tea and soup, huh? So we should probably try to keep the bastard hydrated with warm stuff.”

Karamatsu gets to his feet, grabbing the jar of yuzu-cha on his way. “In that case, why don’t I go mix up some of this for you right now? After being out in the cold air, your throat could probably use something warm. Want me to add a little honey?”

Choromatsu nods eagerly, mouthing, “Yes, please.”

Karamatsu’s face brightens at being useful, and he gives an exaggerated pose before heading into the kitchen. “What a good patient! Your big brother will be back with something soothing before you know it!”

“Hold on,” Totty comments as he scoots the lozenges, spray, and syrup toward him, “did you get all this stuff to take for your throat?”

His eyes scan over the labels, then roll back in his head when he’s finished. “Ah, Choromatsu-nii-san! You can’t take all of these at the same time. See, look. They all say ‘do not use with other medications containing’ ― uh ― well ― w-well, I can’t pronounce the word, but it’s the same one! They must all contain this ingredient, so you can’t take them all in the same day.”

Ichimatsu makes a gesture for Totty to hand them over, then nods after reading them. “Yeah, he’s right. If you take all these in the same day, even if you use each one like the directions say, you’ll be basically overdosing on this shit. Your mouth’ll go numb. Be drooling all over the place and maybe having trouble breathing.”

All the medicine is plucked from his hands by Osomatsu. “Okay, so we’ll rotate ‘em, and I’ll take care of giving it to you whenever you need medicine. Y’know, so that fever doesn’t fry your brain and make you forget which one you’re taking for the day. Which one do you wanna use today?”

Choromatsu lets out a soft groan which only serves to irritate his throat further. He could seriously just kick his own ass for not checking that before he bought all of those. The only excuse he has is that he’s in a lot of pain and not thinking like he normally does. He points to the spray, thinking maybe it’ll feel kind of like sour spray candy; once it gets sprayed on, it melts and lingers for a minute, which might be a nice quality in a medicine for sore throats.

“Alright, open up.” Osomatsu tears off the plastic packaging. “Totty, Ichimatsu, did either of you see how many times I’m supposed to spray this?”

“Two sprays every two hours as needed. But it’s only supposed to stay for fifteen seconds, then he has to spit it out. He’s not supposed to swallow it or it might give him a stomachache. Totty, you wanna go get an empty cup for him to spit in and a glass of water to wash the taste out of his mouth afterwards?”

“What?? Why can’t you do it? Your legs aren’t broken!”

“Yeah, but I’m busy.”

“Are you kidding me? Doing what?!”

Ichimatsu shuffles himself closer to Choromatsu and puts an arm around his big brother. “I’m his emotional support Ichimatsu.”

Choromatsu chuckles a bit, though it turns into coughing pretty quickly.

“Oh, my God. Now you know why you’re not first in my brother rankings, right?” Totty grumbles, but gets up anyway. “Fiiiiine, I’ll be right back.”

The idea of an emotional support anything is nice, though, so Choromatsu leans into the contact, resting his head on Ichimatsu’s shoulder. As it is, the fourth eldest is almost like a cat, warm and cuddly when he feels like it.

His fever must be getting to him, because he could even swear he hears Ichimatsu purring.

-

The next three days in the Matsuno household are, predictably, a little wild.

Although Choromatsu sleeps on the couch in the other room so that his coughing doesn’t wake his brothers, it’s pretty much all for naught. At least one of them ends up missing him in the night and coming to camp out with him anyway; he just counts his lucky stars that when he needs them most, they show themselves to be pretty great brothers.

He also practically lives on soup and tea. Mom and the others try to switch it up a little, because otherwise eating and drinking the same things every day would drive him nuts. Plain miso and zosui were fine for the first day, but after he could breathe through his nose and smell things again, they started offering him other stuff.

Honestly, shogayu and negi-miso-yu have never tasted so good. Now that he can taste the yuzu-cha, too, and Karamatsu prepares some for him at least once in the afternoon, it’s like a small slice of heaven. He’s pretty sure Karamatsu can tell how grateful he is even without words, if the stupidly proud look on his older brother’s face whenever Choromatsu drinks it is any indication.

His throat still hurts like hell for a while. It’s difficult to speak, so Osomatsu, in his infinite wisdom, has relegated his brother to using a mini dry erase board and marker if he needs to say anything. That doesn’t mean Choromatsu doesn’t try to talk. He does his best not to if he doesn’t absolutely need to, however, since he wants to be rid of this thing more than anyone.

Thankfully, everyone is apparently using this as an excuse to treat him nicely. He gets to sit in front of the TV watching Nyaa-chan concerts almost nonstop, while nestling in against his emotional support Ichimatsu. Karamatsu in particular keeps checking every twenty minutes or so to see if there’s anything he can get for his little brother, and whatever Choromatsu asks for, he gets. Hell, at one point he’s craving ice cream, even though milky things aren’t a good idea for someone who’s coughing, and Karamatsu comes back with a melon ice pop, which is almost as good.

Totty even manages to do something nice while typing away on his phone. He says he’s got Choromatsu a date. With a girl. Who likes pop idols. Who’s really excited to meet him as soon as he’s better. He says he texted her a picture of Choromatsu and she thinks he’s really cute. It’s perhaps a good thing that he can’t say much right now, because he’s sure he’d scream loud enough to lose his voice a second time.

Jyushimatsu even sits there on Choromatsu’s other side, and reads magazine articles to him whenever they’re not watching TV. Of course, he doesn’t read the dirty articles… well, he doesn’t read those out loud after the first time he tried and everybody ended up crying with laughter. They all joked that even when he was sick that would be Choromatsu’s main priority, and for once, he laughed along with them despite the fact that it made him cough.

The one who surprises him the most is Osomatsu. Maybe that shouldn’t actually be a surprise, though. He fills the role of diligent oldest brother with a lot more ease than one might expect; he breaks out the thermometer every few hours to make sure Choromatsu’s fever isn’t getting higher, he keeps track of which medicines Choromatsu is supposed to take and when, he helps Mom cook things that will help Choromatsu feel better, and if he’s not doing any of that other stuff, he’s positioned with Choromatsu sitting on his lap, with Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu on either side, running his fingers through his little brother’s hair. It almost feels like the way things were when they were all kids.

Choromatsu is easily tired out when he’s sick, and he’s 99.99999% sure that it’s Osomatsu who carries him to bed every night when he inevitably falls asleep.

Despite the fact that he gives them a lot of shit, and none of them are perfect people, he knows he’s got some pretty amazing brothers.

Today he’s feeling nearly back to his old self, and his throat is less sore than it’s been in over a week. He knows it’s partially thanks to rest and partially thanks to how well his family has been taking care of him. Despite that he’s starting to recover, the others are still treating him much the same as they have been. Tea whenever he wants it ― as well as Karamatsu shoving it in his direction, urging him to drink with that pathetic puppy dog face of his, even when he doesn’t quite want it ― and lots of head pats and the TV turned to whatever he’s in the mood for.

He’s not quite as tired as he’s been lately, so it would be all too effortless to just take advantage of all this. Instead, his thoughts have just kept turning to how grateful he is to have so many people he can count on.

There’s some small part of him that has to admit he can be just as bad as they all are sometimes. He can be selfish and rude and lazy. But when one of his brothers is sick or hurt, he knows he steps up to the plate to try and take care of them. To know that they’re all willing to do the same for him when he’s the one in need makes him happier than he thinks he’s been in a long time.

He’s still got the dumb little whiteboard Osomatsu gave him, because his voice isn’t back to normal just yet. For a moment, he scribbles on it, then he holds it up for Osomatsu who’s sitting behind him. “Hey, Oso,” he speaks up in a quiet, breathy, raspy voice.

“Uh…! Hey, dumbass, you’re not supposed to be talking yet,” Osomatsu laughs, then lifts his head to look at the board. “… Huh? Choromatsu… hey…”

He laughs in a way that makes it sound like he’s about to cry, then takes the board and waves it to get everyone else’s attention. “Hey, guys! Haha… look! Look at this shit!”

Four other pairs of eyes turn in their direction. Practically as soon as everyone has processed what Choromatsu has written, he’s buried in a pile of brothers. He gets arms put around him, and kisses on his forehead, and everyone nuzzling against his face. They’re all laughing in that same way Osomatsu did…

… Well, until they all start actually crying. Including Choromatsu himself.

The whiteboard falls to the ground, mostly forgotten, but the words written on it hanging over the sextuplets like a rainbow.

Thanks for everything. I love you guys. 💚

[supernaturalnovelsandmore]

Supernatural Novel: The Unholy Cause

Welcome to my review of the fifth Supernatural novel, The Unholy Cause

Author: Joe Schreiber

Timeline: Set after Episode 5.08 Changing Channels but before Episode 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon

Location: Mission's Ridge, Georgia

Synopsis: As the pressure mounts for the upcoming apocalypse, Sam and Dean head to the historic town of Mission's Ridge, GA, where the Civil War is less about the past and more about the present. With interference from Castiel, demons, and Judas Iscariot himself, how can Sam and Dean prevent a major catastrophe from befalling this small town?

Review: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Warning: Spoilers abound!

After the last book, I was really hoping to see an improvement in this one, and boy did I! I've finally hit the Supernatural tie-in novel I was hoping to read from the beginning! It read like an actual episode, I could hear the actors speaking through the character's words, and I really couldn't find anything that contradicted canon.

In addition, the actual storyline was compelling and the side characters interesting. With the other novels I've reviewed, it's taken me most of the day to read them because I kept getting distracted. This one, I read straight through without stopping. I love reading a book like that!

Side note: This novel does dive in to Christian theology and the story of Judas Iscariot (who betrayed Jesus). If you are uncomfortable delving into that portion of Christianity, you may not want to read the book or this review (though my review notes about that will be minimal).

Now, since I don't have any canon vs. non-canon comparisons to make, today's review is simply going to be a list of my favorite scenes and how certain scenes relate to what's going on during this period in Season 5.

Cameo!

Sam and Dean are informed of the case by one Rufus Turner! He's only in it for a brief bit, but he's still funny as heck asking the police to pay his dry-cleaning bill.

We get a nice character introduction of enigmatic (clueless) Castiel who's trying to heal Civil War reenactors who are understandably frightened of him. He's still searching for God at this point, but we also get this nice character beat for him:

"I walked the battlefields of the South a hundred and sixty years ago," Castiel replied, a faraway look entering his eyes. "I moved among the men and brought their souls to glory. And now..." Something moved over his face for just an instant, so rare and brief that Dean almost didn't catch it; a flicker of hope. "And now," he repeated, "I'm healing again."

Of course, Dean has to explain that none of the reenactors actually need healing and he goes back to being determined to find a 'First-order witness' - someone who broke bread with Jesus Christ.

I found this part surprising within the book, but as I thought about it, it made more sense. The TV series has to tread a very careful line with Christianity so as not to offend a bunch of viewers, but the books have a much smaller audience and can take these liberties. Personally, I was fine with it. They didn't go too deep and stuck with the witness being Judas (who doesn't exactly have a great reputation to begin with).

There's a fantastic brotherly moment where Sam shares the sheriff's name (Jack Daniels) and they then go back and forth trying to guess what this Jack person is like i.e., fat vs. skinny, bald vs. hairy...

Dean: "Nam vet. Buford Pussar type. From Walking Tall." Sam: "Deliverance refugee. Civil citations all over his desk."

One of things I love about this book is the brother's relationship. This banter and other character beats really feel authentic as opposed to the prior novels. (I won't spoil what the sheriff is actually like - needless to say, they play a major role in the book.)

Just a few pages later from this great banter, we're back to the drama as Sam and Dean argue about a nightmare Sam had that he can't remember, but which could be relevant to the case.

"What's this about Dean?" Sam demanded, "Is it about you not trusting me? Because if it is, there's not a whole lot of places we can go from there." "Yeah, you're my brother," Dean said. "But you're also Lucifer's prom dress, and if he's seeding your dreams with hints about the master plan, then maybe it might be a good idea for you to look at 'em as close as possible. That's all I'm saying."

And of course, Dean gets concerned about Sam as they split up to cover more ground. It's music to my ears! There are a number of other conversations like this that really emphasize the strained relationship Sam and Dean display in Season 5.

Another surprising character beat is the influence of Lucifer on Sam because as he's doing research at the local historical society, Sam (and the historian) are surprised to find out he can read Coptic, an ancient Egyptian language. It startles Sam and once again emphasizes how different he is.

At a particularly gruesome crime scene (a mass grave), there's a brief moment with Dean that really shines as he looks down on the skeletons in the mass grave and finds a similarity to what he did in Hell:

Because that was what he did after spending years down there, doing what he'd done... Through sheer force of will, Dean shoved those notions aside...Now more than ever he didn't want that experience contaminating the way he looked at the world... not that he had a choice. Hell had been his Vietnam. It had stamped its mark on him for all eternity, and no amount of denial or self-imposed ignorance was going to change that.

There's an additional moment of traumatized Dean that I wish they could have shown in the tv series:

Sam: "Are those bloodhounds?" Dean didn't answer... When Sam finally caught a look at his brother's face, he saw that Dean's cheeks and forehead had gone absolutely white, as if every drop of blood had been sucked away... "They're not hellhounds, Dean, they're just dogs..." Dean didn't answer. He was still listening to the barking and howling noises coming closer, crashing through the undergrowth. He seemed paralyzed by the sounds.

There are more to these Dean passages, (too much to copy), but I really like that we see actual effects of past experiences.

There's also a nice scene with Sam and a young teenager that really highlights his ability to connect with kids around that age (of which we see later in the TV series):

"My brother and I grew up without a Mom, too," Sam said... "It wasn't always easy... Not everybody gets that." "I still dream about her sometimes, you know? Even though I was young when she... when it happened," Nate blinked at Sam. "Weird, huh?" "Are they good dreams?" "Yeah." "Then it's good. That's your way of remembering her."

The last third of the book is very action-oriented and has multiple instances of hurt Sam and hurt Dean, with the requisite caring from each brother.

Once again, I've gone on too long, but I'll end with a couple of favorites: Humor:

The sheriff glanced out the window, (referring to Baby) "And haul that piece of crap car to the impound lot. I don't want it cluttering up my street." "Woah!" Dean snapped, a sudden rush of anger rising in his face. "Watch your damn mouth. You can't just---"

Drama:

"This is blood money," Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the Shekel. "Bobby says the only way anybody gets their hand on this..." The rest of the sentence was getting stuck in his chest, and he made himself finish it, "is by betraying someone you love." Dean stared at him. "Dean..." "Look," Dean broke in. "Don't get too hung up on it, okay? It doesn't necessarily mean anything," he stood up and brushed off his jeans. "Whatever happens between us, we'll deal with it then..."

Thanks again for reading! I'll be back again next week with War of the Sons!

[shi-daisy]

Snowed In

Well this it folks, my last Ulquihime Week entry for this year. As always it's been a joy to participate and see everything that all of the other users have created, and that those who host the event take such care to plan our ship week. I had a blast and I'm looking forward to doing this again next year. Till then however, let's all keep on making content for our otp!

Ok so onto the story, today's theme is Winter/Warmth and I really didn't know what to do, until I remembered I have a whole AU I could use and stuck with that. For those who haven't read my entries from previous years the Reunion AU basically had Ulquiorra and Orihime meet again after a few years, Orihime ran off from her wedding with Ichigo and Ulquiorra is now human(along with the other Arrancar). At this point in the time the two have been dating for a month. Hope you like!

@ulquihimeweek

Ulquihime Week- Day 6: Winter/Warmth

Snowed In

"For the last time Tia, I'll ask her but that dosen't mean she'll say yes." Ulquiorra repeated over the phone for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

His friends had all told him to invite Orihime over for Christmas dinner, and while he wasn't too keen on the holiday he knew his woman was. This would be the first time he would be asking her to spend an event with him and his 'family' and while he might deny it, Ulquiorra was nervous.

"Schiffer, of course she'll say yes. That girl is quite taken with you."

"I'd like to think so, but still, don't be disappointed if she declines."

"Yes, yes, I am ready to accept a negative answer. Still, I wanted some civilized company this year."

He could tell she directed her angry tone at Nnoitra. From over the phone Ulquiorra could hear them bickering.

"If ya don't want me to eat the cookies. Don't leave em on the table!"

"Those were freshly baked! How are you not burned?!"

"Cuz I still have Arrancar-like skin."

"Fool! Your hands are red! I have to go Ulquiorra. Our gigantic toddler has injured himself again."

"No surprise there. I shall see you later."

He arrived at the cafe soon after his call ended, yet he knew things weren't right. Orihime usually waited for him outside, but despite the closed sign in the door, she was nowhere to be seen. Ulquiorra rushed into the cafe, immediately upon entering he heard a loud noise.

"I know language was never your best subject but I think the sign on the door was pretty easy to read Kurosaki!"

"Inoue, just let me explain everything."

"I told you to fuck off!" Orihime angrily took off her arpon and walked away. Ulquiorra headed towards her. The second she saw him, her anger subsided.

He dared to look at Kurosaki. The redhead was no longer the headstrong teen he had met six years ago. His hair was shorter, and while he's grown taller, Ulquiorra thought he looked less intimidating.

"How- How are you here? You died."

"I got better." Ulquiorra answered sarcastically. "Now, I believe you heard the woman. She's not interested in speaking to you."

Ichigo didn't seem keen on backing down, his surprised stare turned into a glare. "You don't get to decide for her anymore, Ulquiorra."

"Oh just shut up already, Ichigo! I don't owe you shit! Tatsuki picked up my stuff a while ago, I've kept away from you and your kin, and paid back what I owed to you father. Aside from those unresolved matters we have nothing else to talk about!"

"I think leaving one's own wedding and then vanishing for two months is something to talk about! You never gave me an explanation for that."

He'd never seen Orihime so enraged, her pale face turned red and she was clenching her fist so hard her arms shook. "You want an explanation?! Fine! I left because just as I was going to get Kenpachi-san to walk me to the altar, I found you and Kuchiki-San! Then you kissed her! When we were young I thought you were in love with her, but since you proposed to me and made me feel as if I was the one you wanted, my worries faded. Imagine how I felt at that moment! I gave up NASA for you, scholarships, internships, my own damn college ambitions all went down the drain! All because I wanted to be with you, and look where the fuck that got me!

So there's your bloody explanation! Now scram!"

There was a small moment of silence before Kurosaki left. The second he was out the door, Ulquiorra hugged Orihime close. "Let it out."

Orihime didn't want to cry over it anymore, but her body betrayed her. She shook as she cried, her sobs echoed in the small cafe and the only solace she could find was the warmth Ulquiorra's hug provided.

As he held onto her, Ulquiorra checked an alert on his phone. There was a snow storm coming to Naruki.

"Woman, it's likely we won't be able to reach your apartment in time. Would you like to accompany me home?"

Orihime stopped crying after hearing that. "Yes. I'd love to go with you."

"Good, I've sent a message to Szayel, he should be coming to pick us up before the storm gets worse."

"Okay."

Orihime stared at Ulquiorra's face for a moment. When she first saw him again after all these years he looked just as he did the day he turned to ash under her touch. Now, he seemed so different. His hair was longer and styled, he often wore leather and dark make up, and even facial jewelery. She also noticed he began doing those things when the two began dating. Maybe it was an effort to become more human like for her.

"Ulqui, are you sure it's okay for me to come home with you? I don't want to bother the others."

"It's no bother, they were all hoping to see you again." Ulquiorra cleared his throat, as he often did when he was nervous. "Actually they were insistent that I brought you home for Christmas celebrations next week."

She blushed. "Really? I'd love to go! Spending Christmas alone is not much fun. I would be happy to spend it with your family."

He sighed in relief. "I'm glad."

"You sound nervous, did you think I'd decline?"

"Well, yes. But that's not why I was nerveous. It's just the others can be quite a handful. I don't want them to overwhelm you."

"I'll be fine, I love hyper groups of people. Besides you and I can have some alone time later."

"That I won't mind."

Szayel arrived at the cafe slightly later than expected. The sky was already darkening, and the road was icy. He drove slowly but made sure to calculate the time properly.

"Inoue-san, I hope you don't mind, Halibel has prepared a room for you, along with clothes. It's likely the snowstorm will keep you from going home tonight, perhaps even longer."

"That's fine. Thanks for telling me Szayel. I'll be sure to not cause any trouble."

"Oh sweetie it's no trouble at all, we are all looking forward to having you around. Ulquiorra has told us so much about you!"

Ulquiorra, Who had been dozing off in the front seat, was now wide awake and glaring at Szayel.

Orihime laughed at the scene before her. "Does he? What has he told you?"

"That he enjoys speaking to you, and that you have a lovely aura, and that you look very pretty in a sundress."

By now Ulquiorra was a blushing mess, he hid his face under the hoodie of his coat, but Orihime has already seen it. She smiled and blew a kiss in his direction. "Well I think he looks good in black clothes."

Ulquiorra caught the hint. Black was what he always wore, meaning Orihime always found him to be cute. He smiled, this time without covering his blush.

***

Her arrival had been met with hugs, greetings, an enthusiastic snuggle from the family's pet.

"Kukkapuro's no stranger to cuddling new people. He won't leave you alone for the rest of the night." Stark drowsily told her as he tried to get Kukkapuro to move. The hollow puppy ignored him.

"That's okay, Stark-san. I don't mind."

The sleepy man nodded and went back to his favorite spot, on the lap of his boyfriend. Szayel rolled his eyes and let him sleep.

She smiled at the scene, it reminded her of the times she'd act overly affectionate and Ulquiorra would be either unimpressed or dead quiet. Strangely enough she didn't mind.

"Orihime! Can you come to the kitchen? I need your help!"

She followed Halibel's voice to the kitchen. The older women had baked a new batch of cookies and wanted her opinion.

"You're the star baker after all." She told her.

The woman's tone was so sweet Orihime couldn't bear to tell her she hadn't finished culinary school.

She took a bite, savoring the sweet yet salty ginger cookie. "These are great! You're an incredible baker, Halibel-san."

"Thank you, it means a lot coming from a professional. There is something I'd like your help with."

"Anything."

***

"Are you going to chose a movie already?!"

Ulquiorra glared at Nnoitra, who had probably been banned from the kitchen.

"I am not choosing anything until the girls come back with the food. Have some patience Jiruga!"

"I am plenty patient!"

"I agree with Ulquiorra, you have a short fuse. Now be quiet." Szayel snapped.

"Tch. If I'd know you were going to be so moody I would've spent the week with Tesla and Cyan."

"Tesla might've been your fracción but I think even he knows you shouldn't be around a newborn." Stark mumbled in his drowsy state.

Ulquiorra chuckled, as he remembered the little bundle Cyan had given birth to a week ago. He didn't consider himself the baby type but that had been disproven the moment he was allowed to carry the tiny child.

"Maybe you and Inoue will produce a cute baby one day."

Ulquiorra almost fell off the sofa. "Nnoitra if you don't shut up I will disembowel you!"

Szayel shushed them both and pointed down to a sleeping Stark, but by then it was too late. The pair began bickering and Kukkapuro howled along.

***

"See? It's always like this. Can't get some quiet until bedtime."

"Don't worry. This'll warm them up!"

The girls walked out of the kitchen with cookies and hot chocolate. "Settle down! We're here with the treats! Ulquiorra you can pick a movie if you'd like."

He nodded and began browsing. Orihime gave everyone a cup of chocolate and cookies. Once her boyfriend had picked a movie, she sat down with him and their treats.

It didn't take long for the others to fall asleep. According to Ulquiorra this was a common occurrence. 'They'll be asleep before the second act ends.'

The couple was snuggling together covered by a thick blanket, they had finished their sweets and once the movie ended they would be going to bed.

"Hey Ulqui."

"Yes, love?"

"Thanks for tonight. I don't know how badly things would've gotten if I hadn't come with you."

Seeing Ichigo had soured her day greatly, and walking home alone in the freezing cold to cry herself to sleep would've been twice as hellish. Thankfully her boyfriend was there to dry her tears and make her smile again.

"You're welcome woman. I shall always be here for you, so whenever you feel like the world is falling apart remember to lean on me. It is now my eternal duty to keep you smiling."

She giggled and nuzzled close to him. "Thanks Ulqui. You're really sweet." The beating of his heart was lulling her to sleep, but Orihime resisted, she wanted to see the end of the movie. "I have to repay you one day for all the kindness you've given me. Feels like I'm only taking."

"No, you're mistaken. It is I who's repaying a debt to you. Back when I was a hollow you brought joy into my life again, and since then I've thought that one lifetime won't be enough to repay you."

"Then you better be with me in every other lifetime."

He wouldn't refuse such a request. Ulquiorra looked down at Orihime, their gazes met and he knew this was the perfect moment to do as he had planned for so long. He leaned down to press his lips against hers, a soft kiss which caused them both to blush. They both tasted of chocolate and ginger cookies, still it was perfect.

"I love you." He whispered only for her.

Orihime caressed his cheek and smiled. "I love you too."

They stayed like that for the rest of the night, tangled in a warm embrace as the snow continued to fall outside.

[thedoctor1002]

Idk, I never posted one of my fics here but guess I'll try ~

Also, English is not my first language so feel free to correct me QwQ

Fandom: Psycho-Pass -season 1- (is this still a thing?)

Characters: Kogami Shinya, Sasayama Mitsuru, OC

Prompt (it was in Italian, so I'll translate): write a story using three among these words: cloud, dusk, thunderstorm, storm, hull, bay, shelter, sail, night

Title: Log date: 2110/02/28 (Friday) 22:04

---

The lights of the bay flicker dynamically before your eyes.

They dance hypnotically, of the same cyan colour of your office’s walls, but with a whole different beat. They drink the red and white trails from the traffic, they shatter and multiply in the tears of an inclement rain. I know how much you hate it, you just can’t stand going on recon with an umbrella. On the other hand, I love it.

Rain brings us close together under the waterproof cloth and I manage to observe details that neon lights often hide from me: the precise way you part your hair, the last few drops of the jasmine perfume on your jacket, your long lashes. Shion thinks they’re fake. We always fight over it, can you believe me?

After all, you’ve never been the kind of woman to wear such frills. 

A notification arrives, the acid light of your impalpable PC breaks through the sacred dark from where you pretend you don’t see me. It digs your silhouette and paints you like a ghost on the huge windows of the Public Safety Bureau.

Your jet-black hair lay on your back like varnish pouring over the white silk of your blouse.

“Pulling an all-nighter, Inspector Matou?” I ask casually, exposed. With you, after all, I always am: you’re the only one that can shush my shitty jokes.

But this time you laugh slightly: nothing more than a spike, a trembling breath that shakes your ribs and lips.

“The forecasts say that the storm won’t stop until tomorrow morning,” you tell me, sitting at your desk, “also, I’ve been delaying this paperwork through all week, it's about time I get it done. Might as well do some overtime and get rid of it, don’t you think?”

“You’re such a workaholic.” I label you, realizing how lucky I am being allowed to do it: Ginoza, that prude, would have never let it slide “You should leave some for the rest of the precinct: make 'em earn their wages.”

A tired smile crosses your face as you tap your fingers on the keyboard. It’s so clear you’re trying to avoid my glance.

You used to look for it.

You looked for my eyes at briefings, in that discrete way that eventually shocked everyone. You looked for them among alleys, as soon as you heard a gunshot or the chocked sound of a fight.

And when you found me, it felt like a 7 miles free fall.

“How are the legs going?” I dare to ask. I see the hollow structure of your new shins below the hem of your pencil skirt. They swing a bit underneath the glass of your desk. You didn’t lose your damn tic, your right heel shakes like the needle of a sewing machine even when you seem calm.

You shrug and drink the bottom of an already empty glass of water.

I shouldn’t have asked. It breaks my heart, to see you like this.

You don’t give me an answer and massage the back of your knee with a sigh. Lately, I feel like you’re avoiding me.

You’re turning back into the one you were before: uncompromising, cold and distant. I wonder if the bunch of ingrates downstairs have been calling you Dobermann again. I wonder if you’re still as relentless.

You worry me: your stress level is getting darker and darker. You don’t want old Kasei to take issues with you, not again.

I can imagine how you must have felt, the night when this mess happened.

You most likely got pissed, if I do know you.

I mean, did they really think I got away on my own? I bet you never doubted me: no one knows an Enforcer better than its Inspector.

“Runaway?! Have you lost your minds?” Sasayama?!”

Those were the first words you said when they rescued you. You spoke them way before cleansing your lungs from the rotten water of the river, way before asking Masaoka if you’d have ever got back to feeling your lower legs. They hurt like hell and you had to pull them around like sandbags.

“They got him” you panted, holding tight on your mentor’s coat “They took him away, I tell you!” The one that kidnapped him wasn’t a latent criminal. The Dominator didn’t activate, not even when they shot me. Please, believe me. Check on the log files, please.”

Crime coefficient: 0.

I know that bug still haunts you.

Cause, after all, it’s can’t be anything else: who on earth is that Makishima to fly under the Sibyl Sistem’s radar? Who can fool a network that knows your crimes before you do? And how is it possible that the silhouette that kneecapped you and threw you into a river could possibly be innocent?

You haven’t lost your mind, Inspector: the Dominator betrayed me, too.

Don’t think I don’t know how pitiful must have been, the next three days.

Makishima isn’t real. Forget it, it was just a delirium. You were in shock.

It was the trauma, dear. It was a breakdown. It was burnout syndrome.

You’d use some holiday, darling. Take a week. Take two. Go somewhere far, no, better: just stay at home. Go to therapy. Keep yourself busy, don’t think about it. Work. Also, don’t work: it wears you out!

They put you back on your feet in less than six hours, but nobody allowed you to join search parties. Heaven forbid your stress level getting any darker. Heaven forbid that yet another good Inspector gets demoted among those damn Enforcers. But, still, in the whole IT section, there wasn’t a single nerd that could get that night's logs. That's one funny thing, ain't it?

Woman, sometimes I wish your damn head wasn't that hard. I wish you didn't follow the Forensics to get a lift, so soon after the deed.

At least, you could have listened to Kogami. Shit, didn't you see how pale he was? You didn't even need the Dominator to read him, his stress level was mindblowing!

You should have believed him when he told you you didn't want to enter that alley. First off, it was already full of other detectives and analysts. I have no idea what kind of business you had to do in there. Second thing second, Kogami has an eye for certain matters. Do you think he didn't notice I’ve always been all over you? Not gonna lie, maybe I told him about you, once or twice.

But no, of course, you had to get in.

The software that taught you how to walk on those carbon stilts made you stand your ground and bark a "For fuck's sake, Shinya, move!" worthy of the Dobermann’s reputation. Even those who hadn't been called out made way.

But your new legs didn't hold you, when you saw what they had made of my corpse.

I'm sorry, Katsumi, I never wanted to upset you like that. 

You know how much I would have rather have a more heroic death. I don't know, like, in the middle of a shooting, saving the day. It would have been much classier, less tacky, less trash. I think I deserved it, that's all.

You stop typing and rub your temples. You shelter what’s left of your lipstick behind your hand. I wish I could kiss it off, instead of watching you consume it in a ruby red halo in the notch between your thumb and your index.

You lift your eyes only for Kogami, who’s passing by your office like a nurse in its night shift.

“So?” he asks in a whisper, putting more care in that question than I could have ever done. More than anybody could have ever done, because he’s the only one that gets you, right now. You two seem like the only ones who lost something.

You shake your head slowly, staring at the monitor and the dangerously high Crime Coefficient on the display.

“It's not working” you wail softly, misty-eyed. I can’t believe it, is it still you?

“They’re gonna kick me out anyway, if it doesn’t lower quickly” you continue, with that realism of yours. I used to call you a jinx for that but, at the end of the day, you always got our backs. “It’s for the best if I just resign. I’m gonna keep what's left of my dignity, at least.” 

The dark profile of my best friend looks through me, as he sits on the armchair next to mine. He would like to say something, a word of encouragement maybe, we all know it in this damn room, but numbers shut our mouths. 

“You could become an Enforcer” he proposes.

Goddammit, Shinya, did we work with the same person? Katsumi as an Enforcer?

And there you go, shaking your head. You hold your face in your hands and let your raven hair hide your visage. 

“Can you imagine me, following orders? I do know how to work, I can do it better than three-quarters of our colleagues and I’ve never had problems remarking it. They’d eat me alive if they had the chance. Dogs celebrate on the corpses of lions.”

“But lions remain lions and dogs stay dogs.” Kogami finishes, stealing my lines. 

I notice the slight trembling of your finger, as you tap your touchpad to send that last confirm.

In a few moments, the system will have your resignation registered. Your profile won’t unlock your Dominator anymore and in a few days time, just enough for you to collect your belongings, you won’t even manage to enter the office.

Who’s gonna explain to old Kasei that there's more of your stuff here than in your apartment?

I’d ask you what do you plan on doing with your life, but tonight’s decision seems definitely brave enough to call it a day.

I look at the tabs you open in your browser, they mirror in the windows behind you.

Air travel.

Argentina, Cuba, States, New Zealand, Germany, Kenya. You go around the world in 80 seconds flat, you multiply your chances and spread them all through the air in front of you, in a complex diagram that doesn’t lead anywhere.

I never wanted to take you away from your home, you don’t deserve this. 

You cover your eyes with a hand and use the other one to pick a random selection from your atlas.

Greece.

“Well, at least it’s on the sea.” you wrap up, condensing in a handful of words the only satisfaction you can find in starting a brand new life.

You two stare at the transparent screenshot of your flight, the countdown on the web page seems way too joyful.

“It’s so exciting, Katsumi Matou! Check-in your luggage. Your journey will begin in: 06 days: 17 hours: 34 minutes: 21 seconds”

20.

19.

18.

Seconds pass by, in complete silence.

“Do you think it would be a burden to him?” you ask Shinya, “Do you think he’d understand?”

Who would have guessed that a cynic one like yourself could believe in the afterlife? I wish I were here to ask you. I wish we could have spoken about life, death, sex, about things long gone and things yet to be.

His hand squeezes yours gently, as he looks at you in the eye, hoping to stop the train to Paranoidland from setting off.

“It’s not your fault” he reassures you as he can: the both of you wouldn’t make the average person’s empathy.

But he’s right, though, it really isn’t: I know you’ve done anything you could. It’s always been like that.

“Maybe I owe him” you draft “Even if they don’t believe in Makishima, maybe one day I could have proved he exists.”

The teal of your Psycho-Pass would suit you wonderfully, if it wasn’t a description of your mental health.

What could you possibly do in these conditions? You’d have ended up in a cubicle, filing loss and theft reports. You would have never made it to the dossiers, surely not to those of such a controversial case. Making you end up in a study room would have been my final bullshit. I’m happy with your choice, really. I would have loved visiting Europe someday.

“Don’t talk nonsense.” Kogami rebukes you, externalizing what I’ve been thinking all along: “I’m going to look out for your man: your team has already given way too much. I’m gonna find him, Matou, cold case or not.”

You nod, but it’s clear you don’t believe him. I can read through you, you’re a terrible liar.

I don’t think you don’t trust him, most likely you’ve done the math and figured that working on an independent case is far too difficult for an Inspector, let alone for an Enforcer.

And there it is, my fall. After an exhausting chase, you finally look into my eyes, even though -according to Shinya- you’re most likely staring at the void.

Despite being used to such races, believe me, I’ve missed you.

“I’m just so sorry.” you finally whisper, giving me a bitter smile. 

Try and stop me, Ginoza, tell me once again how inappropriate it is: I don’t mind anymore. I get up and I don’t hesitate while holding you and leaving a kiss on your hair, shamelessly.

“I’m going to grab some coffee” I announce, walking backwards to the door like a shrimp, just to look at my dearest friends a bit longer. “I’d get you one, but I’m short on coins. Maybe next time.”

“See you, Inspector.”, Kogami greets you, leaving alongside me.

“Be good.” you wave back, as we were all to meet again tomorrow.

Walking through the dark alley, I can hear an excerpt from our last conversation through the opaque glass of your office.

“You’re jerk, Sasayama!”

I can hear you laughing out loud, through the crackly recording. You laughed at my gall, with that warm, strong, sweet voice of yours, mocking me. Admit it: mine, after all, were the only compliments that could make you blush.

It’s incredible how we managed to joke even inside a car that was taking us on a crime scene. To an external eye, we might have looked disrespectful. Truth is I’ve always feared death so much I just had to laugh at the reaper.

“Oh, come on, what would it take? Come with me to the Precinct’s New Year’s dinner, the 17th is around the corner!” I kept annoying you, as you were too busy driving to mind my dumb flirt attempts. I still can’t get how we never had an accident. “Be good, Katsumi, give me a joy to live for!”

“You could always ask Shion, you know? You always give her more attention, after all.”

I hear the subtle sound of the wheels stopping, the parking brake cracking and it’s like Ogishima’s outskirts appear before my eyes, in that same January night. That place gave me goosebumps, but I would have hated if you understood it.

“Here we are” you announced, with still a bit of resentment in your voice. You unlocked the passenger’s door and I remember I left your Dominator in the car’s trunk: I didn’t want you to follow me. Not that time.

“You scare me when you pay so much attention” you commented, noticing how serious I got “will you tell me why are you insisting so much to keep on searching? Kogami got the guy. Tomorrow we go, we arrest him and it's thank you, next.”

My answer has been recorded as a distant and muffled noise, but I still can trace it: “He’s not the one, I tell you. I have another suspect, but I need a more solid base. And you’re staying, Inspector.”

“Staying?! You’ve gone crazy!” you laughed, locking the corporate sedan behind you “If something were to happen to you, or worse if you didn’t come back, Kasei would���”

“I said you’re staying: it’s dangerous.”

“Sasayama, our work is dangerous,” you replied, contemptuous, understanding that clearly among the gear I brought I didn’t count yours and going back to the car to get it “One more risk won’t make a difference: if I have to drop dead, it can either be here, at home or god knows where.”

“Will you join me for the precinct’s dinner, though?”

And here is a sequence that the voice recorder surely can’t have grasped, but that I could remember even in a thousand years. You cast an outraged glance over me from above the trunk’s door, panting through a half-smile. You shook your head, tucking your hair behind your ear. And finally, after refusing my invitations since 17th November, during lunch break, you smiled shrugging.

“Deal, come on, just make way” you sighed, as your heels echoed on the wet concrete “Still, you’re a jerk.”

“I recorded it: you have no excu-”

The audio file interrupts.

End of recording.

[black-is-beautiful18]

Stone Cold-1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Black!OC

Warnings: lying

*****************

"I don't know about this guys. She's not really my type." Steve mumbles hoping that his friends will see his discomfort. Bucky and Sam had somehow convinced him to join this dating app, and now he has a date with a woman named Delilah. She was a beautiful woman with brunette hair and brown eyes. She had a beautiful smile and she also had an interest in art like he did, but Steve couldn't shake the feeling thay something wasn't right.

Patting him on the back, Bucky chuckles." It's not like she a monster or something Stevie. Just give her a chance." He says plopping down on the couch next to Sam who pushes him before moving over. Rolling his eyes, Steve begins pacing." That's easy for you to say. You don't have to go on this stupid date."

"What's this I hear about a date?" Natasha asks smirking as she walks into the living room causing Steve to groan as Sam and Bucky explain what's going on." Aww. You should give her a chance." Natasha says smiling softly as Steve grabs his jacket." I may as well. I promised her that I'd take her to the art musem."

"Well go get her tiger." Nat teases bringing a small smile to Steve's face." Wish me luck." He mutters heading to the elevator.

"Have fun!"

"Good luck!"

"Don't lay it on her all at once!"

Steve chuckles shaking his head as he steps into the elevator waving to his three friends before the doors close allowing him to take a moment to compose himself. Tony was letting him take one of his cars, so he might as we'll take advantage of it.

********************

"Oh wow! I wonder how they got this." Delilah says in awe as she and Steve look at a portrait of Perseus beheading a sleeping Medusa." That must be Athena. Look at how it shows how she's instructing him to look into the shield, and look at Hermes' sandals!" She says excitedly causing Steve to smile sheepishly." I've never really heard the story." He says causing Delilah to gasp." Really?" He nods." Oh wow. Well long story short Perseus needs Medusa's head to save a woman named Andromeda from this sea monster. I can't exactly remember why the monster was going to eat her, but just know Perseus was the hero of the story." Steve chuckles and nods." Gotcha."

It turned out that Steve was enjoying this date far more than he thought he was. Delilah was a great conversationalist and she knew a lot about the art here which he found helpful at times. As they admired the different pieces of art Steve would often feel her eyes on him which he didn't mind. However, when it was time to leave he got very nervous. Delilah had suddenly become much more flirty and clingy.

"Um, s-so did you have a favorite part of museum you liked?" He would ask looking down at her as they would walk back to the car." I really enjoyed the Greek exhibit, but I enjoyed you even more." She says giving him a sultry look. Steve gulps and clears his throat." Why thank you. I enjoyed you too, but I should be honest. You're a lovely woman and you're beautiful, but I don't think I'd be interested in pursuing a relationship with you."

Immediately, Delilah's body demeanor changes. Her body tense and a frown on her face." W-what? I thought we were getting along so well. I even wore something special underneath just for you." She says pouting as she presses her body against his. Steve blushes and chuckles nervously as he backs up causing her to fall forward. She yelps as she falls to her knees causing Steve to wince.

"I'm so sorry. Let me help you." As Steve moves to help her up but jumps back as she lets out a scream." Get away from me! Don't touch me!" Delilah yells in a panic as she quickly moves away from him." I'm trying to help you!" "Somebody help me!" She cries out before letting out a sob. Putting his hands up, Steve backs away from her." I-im sorry. I gotta go." He says quickly before running like hell to the car. Once in the safety of the car he runs his fingers through his hair." What the hell just happened?!" He asks himself distraught.

******************

Steve grunts as he's shoved into a wall by a woman with red braids." Who are you?!" She glares up at him." Shut up! I'll ask the questions." She says firmly as two more women appear from the darkness. One with green braids and the other with blue braids." OMG! That's Captain America!" Euryale exclaims practically vibrating with energy." What?!" Her sisters demand looking at her.

Steve uses this distraction to break away from the woman before he takes off. He was going to leave, but he needed time to process what just happened. That's when the door was practically ripped off and he was dragged out of the car. He was then chased down in the parking garage. He has no idea how She was able to keep up with him. When she caught him she was anything but gentle.

"After him!" Stheno growls before taking off after him. Medusa and Euryale share a look coming to some nonverbal agreement before running after their sister both of them having sensed that something isn't right here. Why would Captain America hurt a woman?

Meanwhile, Stheno pounces on Steve sending both of them to the ground. With unbelievable speed she pins him down before raising her right hand exposing the bronze claws on her fingers. As she's about to bring her hand down to strike Steve she's suddenly pulled off of him." Stheno! No!" Medusa shouts as Euryale restrains her." What are you doing?!" Stheno demands angrily." You said this hunt was mine!" Medusa rolls her eyes at her older sister." Oh relax. This hunt may be a mistake."

Sitting up, Steve looks at them in a mix of surprise and confusion. These women, now that he got a proper look at them, were gorgeous." Who are you?" He asks cautiously as he stands not chancing letting his guard down. Euryale looks at him in awe as she lets go of her sister who looks angry and confused." We're sorry about that. We got a fake call." "A fake call?" Stheno demands as she stand dusting herself off." What in Hades name are you talking about?" She growls.

Medusa sighs." Oh dear sister. Did you take the time to smell him before you attacked?" Stheno looks between her sisters unsure, her confusion just growing." Um...no." "Exactly. If you did, you'd know that he's innocent. There's not a trace of lust on him. It was a false call." Stheno stalks over to Steve who backs up only for her to grab him by his shirt pulling him back to her.

"That's impossible." She mumbles before taking in his scent her grip and eyes softening." Oh my gods...it was a fake call." Stheno whispers in shock. She and her sister have spent years punishing those that would dare to hurt women in anyway. They've had fake calls before, but it had never gotten this far before." I'm so sorry. I had no idea." Stheno says as she quickly let's go of him.

"Um...it's Ok. Can someone tell me what's going on?" Steve asks completely lost. The gorgon sisters share a look and as Medusa goes to say something, the parking garage is suddenly stormed by SHIELD agents. Instinctively, the sisters get in fighting stances prepared to protect themselves, but Steve steps in." No! It's Ok! They're ok! They helped me!" Medusa looks at him surprised as an agent steps forward." Sorry Captain. We gotta take 'em in. These three have been on our radar for a long time."

Medusa and her sisters look at each other clearly annoyed and shocked that they'd been caught. They've been able to avoid SHIELD for years. Why all of a sudden would they get caught? The Fates could be so cruel sometimes.

**************************

@stars8melanin @suz-123 @ch-llmonger @cosmicmelaninflower

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: [Comes to find her like we said and sees what he sees but they don't see him because not hanging around to watch boy I'm not letting you] Buster: You need to be in Rio: Oh Rio: okay Rio: why though Buster: 🎂 Rio: Didn't have you down as an emoji kinda guy, McKenna Rio: be right there Buster: Full of surprises, you'd know that if you knew me Buster: Stop fantasizing about how I type & come the fuck on Rio: You wanna have a catch-up? Rio: Cute Rio: It ain't your birthday or cake, calm down Buster: I reckon you've got your hands full but I can't blame you for wanting it Buster: Much better offer, like Rio: Ha Rio: Sure Rio: just that talented, babe Buster: One of you has to be, I guess Buster: Christ knows he ain't it Rio: You two met before? Rio: Really are full of surprises, fair play Buster: Met his type about as often as you have Buster: & I saw what I saw, Cavante Buster: Miss me with your behind the bike shed bullshit next time, school's out for summer Buster: You could at least have the decency to keep things hot Rio: Weren't expecting an audience Rio: What the fuck 😂 Buster: Clearly Rio: And oddly enough, even if we was, you ain't the 🎯 demographic Buster: Like I said, you've got your hands too full to handle me Buster: I don't do triangles Rio: So traditional, love that for you Buster: I got the looks for a teen drama, but this ain't one Buster: Save your drama for your boring boyfriend Rio: You so obviously love drama though Rio: so pressed, babe but I put him down, you can go hit him up now 💋 Rio: [showing up for this cake 'cos otherwise rude] Buster: You obviously know me so well Buster: Not like you got the wrong twin there Buster: Understandable, the coming out party was pretty lowkey Rio: Nah, he's definitely not her type Rio: I'm up to date, see Buster: He definitely ain't mine either, so nah, you ain't Buster: Do you not get pretty boys around here unless they're decked in rainbow flags? Explains the choice you made there with that one Rio: It's a bummer no one thought to invite these pretty boys for you Rio: but you know, is granddad's bday so don't think they were high on the guestlist Rio: what you gonna do, eh Buster: It's alright, you can watch me survive it & tell yourself that's why you keep looking at me Rio: Oh my God Rio: your ego 😂 Buster: It's big, yeah Buster: But if you wanna measure it, probably gonna have to wait until after the cake's been cut Buster: Like you said, it's Granddad's moment Rio: [Audibly laughs] Rio: You're funny, McKenna Buster: [A look like 😏] Rio: Is she actually out then Buster: Ask her yourself Buster: She'll proudly tell you Rio: How'd that go Rio: like at School Buster: Do you want my answer or hers? Buster: 'Cause the lads fucking loved it but her 🎯 demographic, less so Rio: Typical Rio: I'll talk to her later Rio: pry her away from my brother/the corner they're hiding in Buster: She'll say it's fine if she says fuck all Buster: You know that Rio: Probably Rio: but I'm easy to talk to Buster: You're funny Rio: You know I am Rio: can but try, McKenna Buster: Easy to make people laugh when you're a kid Buster: Gotta try harder these days Buster: But you know that, yeah? Rio: I was referring to the easy to talk to bit but thanks Rio: You were never this nice Rio: the effort's appreciated Buster: Easy, for sure Buster: I was trying not to make that cheap of a shot seeing as it's a celebration & all but Buster: Since you're so appreciative of my efforts, don't need to hold back, like Rio: Keep dreaming, boy Buster: It should be your nightmare Buster: But I'm only passing through so none of my business if that's a rep you wanna maintain Rio: No one's talking about what I'm thinking Rio: you're the one betraying yourself but go off Buster: That I want you to have your transformative hot girl summer, yeah sure Buster: That's what a supportive family is for Rio: You're such a bullshitter Rio: Who you fooling, no one here Buster: Of course I am Buster: Haven't signed myself up for Truth or Dare yet, unlucky for you Rio: Gross Rio: Supportive family, remember Rio: don't get your roles confused Buster: That was bullshit, remember? Buster: You want me to be real with you, babe Buster: We don't know each other like that, sorry Rio: Heartbreaking Rio: or just boring Buster: You love to be bored though, so you're welcome Rio: Where'd you hear that Buster: I saw it Buster: There's no way to convince me that boyfriend of yours is anything but Rio: We don't know each other like that Rio: let alone knowing anything about him or what I love Buster: Well done for fooling him but you'd have to try harder to attempt it with me Buster: Got that first rate education working in my favour for one thing Buster: Don't just see what I wanna, for another Rio: Let's hope that's true Rio: for both our sakes Rio: begs the question why you are still looking but you can write an essay on it if you get homesick Buster: Amateurish to rely on hope, but you clearly are so I can't expect better Buster: Why do you care where I look or don't, is the real question Rio: When it's at me, it's my business Buster: You've changed your tune, I was all heart eyes for him when it suited you to play that way before Rio: Can you blame me for wanting it to be that Rio: should've run with it Buster: If you need me to be gay to make this easier that's your problem Buster: You should learn self control Buster: Your boyfriend clearly has some, or it's worse than I feared and he's not holding back at all, that's just all there is Rio: Yeah, that's what I meant Rio: Sorry you want an encore but that ain't happening for you, babe Buster: Yeah, I desperately wanna see that again Buster: I already know what not to do, but cheers Rio: I know Rio: This party is a bit of a let-down but did we expect anything better Rio: super glad to hear you've learnt something worth learning from your first rate education, btw Buster: You wish, but show me something better & I'll consider turning my head, like Buster: Until then it's just cake & candles Buster: Pass it on to my parents if you see them, they'll appreciate the validation of the single good choice they've made recently, I'm sure Rio: No one's trying to turn your head, McKenna Rio: Would but then I'd have to regale them of how I know you didn't always know what not to do and no one needs to relive that, least of all me Buster: Like you said, it's a shit party Buster: Oh so reliving it every night's too much for you? Shame. I'd have reckoned on you having more stamina Rio: Yeah, you wanna pay for my therapy? Rio: The night terrors are really draining Buster: As long as you make sure to tell 'em how you used to follow me around everywhere Buster: You know, the real facts Rio: Excuse you Rio: No I never 😂 Rio: this is my town, you were following me Buster: Is your memory always this selective or just when you wanna save face? Buster: You're the one who is and was desperate for a repeat performance Rio: If only Rio: then I could forget you ever said that Rio: have to go get a drink and try my best instead, eurgh Buster: I don't need to be told how unforgettable I am, babe Buster: I hear it all the time Rio: And I'm the one who's bored Rio: sounds like a riot Buster: I never said I wasn't Buster: I'm here, of course I am Rio: Yeah who wouldn't wanna rush on back to that Buster: I know you'll miss me but like I said, only a quick visit Rio: Been doing just fine with the schedule we had, you know Rio: let's not see each other again for another however many years if we can, tah Buster: If you were you wouldn't feel the need to tell me Buster: This convo can end any time if you're really that fine about it Rio: You're so up yourself Rio: I'm being polite, how families do, at least some of the time Buster: What would you say if you weren't being polite, how much of a cunt I am? Buster: Sounds like more fun if I can be honest at least once Rio: You've already had your turn Rio: remember Rio: ain't my fault you went with the lowest hanging fruit Buster: All I remember is lying through my teeth since I got here Buster: How families do Rio: You can try again if you reckon you can do better Buster: I can always do better Rio: Go on then Buster: I don't reckon kissing you would go down too well with the rest of the fam Buster: But if you wanna meet me outside, say when Rio: Umm we were talking about being honest Buster: What do you want me to be honest about? Rio: Well you said you could do better than 'easy' but did you actually think I wanted you to kiss me, what the fuck Buster: Bold of you to assume I've spent any time thinking about what you want Buster: There's no need when you make it so obvious Rio: You're cracked Rio: there's easy then there's that Buster: Protest some more & it might actually reach your eyes next time you look at me, like Rio: So you're actually delusional, cool Rio: Bet your shrink is soooo much an hour, yeah? Buster: If I had one he would be Buster: Or better yet, she would be Buster: But I'm the well-adjusted twin Buster: Evil but able to own it, you know Rio: Of course Rio: your own self-assessment doesn't reek of narcissism at all, babe 😂 Buster: It ain't my fault the world was set up to revolve around me Buster: A hot as fuck white lad with money & education ain't gonna hate himself, sorry about it Rio: Yeah, put it in Latin and that's the Tory tagline Rio: ain't thick, McKenna Buster: A calidum album et irrumabo iniecit puero pecuniam & educationem est non amet odio ipsum, contristari super eo Rio: [Lols again] Buster: [is again 😏 but there's more a genuine grin vibe to it] Rio: [goes off with her mans for ages] Buster: [change that to 😒 but more subtly] Buster: [When you're lowkey drinking too much even though you are but a child] Rio: [coming back and getting some drinks] Buster: [A look because he's his father's son] Rio: [just like 'hey!' 'cos you tryna be nonchalant but the look threw you a bit like okay] Buster: [when you walk off cos you're that rude] Rio: Charm 101 next year, is it Buster: My mum's written me a note to get me out of it Buster: [When you're trying to get your parents attention like can we leave but its a no go] Rio: The list of perks truly is neverending Buster: Yeah Buster: Maybe they'll adopt you if you keep asking nicely Buster: 3 kids was the dream Rio: Your least favourite number, so Rio: stick with being number one of my family, #2 Buster: If you ever wanna have a meeting of the golden children, you know where I live Rio: Slainte Rio: [raises her glass from across the room] Buster: [Doesn't raise his because dickhead but does down his drink obvs] Rio: Wow don't wish death on me with such abandon, people start to reckon you don't like me or something Buster: This family's worst kept secret, like Rio: Nah, reckon you've got plenty of competition for that one Rio: not even juicy, like Buster: Sarcasm's really lost on you, isn't it? Buster: That an Irish thing or a you thing Rio: You're a letter short Buster: Hilarious Rio: Not really Rio: Ha Buster: I know you've got a shit lad on your arm but don't scrap the barrel even lower Buster: There'll be fuck all left of it Rio: Why do you reckon he's so shit Buster: I have an awareness of my surroundings Buster: Not to mention senses that work Rio: No one's gonna ask you to fuck him, it's alright Buster: He might, but as we established, not a fucking gay Rio: Trust me, neither is he Buster: I'm thrilled for you Buster: Compatibility wise you've got that one thing locked down Rio: 💘 Rio: should cuff him now, is what you're saying Rio: thanks Buster: Yeah, that's my resounding advice Buster: It's worked out so well for so many members of this fam Rio: Ikr Rio: just want an invite to my child wedding Rio: any excuse to be back in the homeland Buster: Only if there's a free bar or money behind it Rio: fucking tightarse Rio: you put money behind it and you don't have to get me too many gifts Buster: I'm not paying to drown my sorrows 'cause I'm at a family function where you're the centre of attention Buster: Fuck that Rio: Please Rio: you love it Rio: sit you at the table with all the other broken-hearted boys Buster: You wish Buster: You don't need a table for a couple of lads, bar stools will do Rio: Easy, remember Rio: real loss for the entire community Rio: have to get out the plastic garden chairs and everything Buster: Why they ain't broken hearted, they got what they wanted without needing to marry you Buster: Keep up Rio: You wanna keep up with how good I am Rio: alas, dear cousin Buster: You wanna be in the same league as me more like Buster: It was cute when we were little but you need to get over it now Rio: Nah, the whole public schoolboy thing is not my scene but I'm happy for you that it's not giving you mad trauma Rio: nice to have fond school memories Buster: You wanna try that again? Make it more believable Rio: What can I say? Rio: Too nice, me Rio: as discussed Buster: What can I say? Buster: More fool you Rio: Hardly sat here taking it personal, babe Buster: Good to know Rio: Like you care Buster: I don't Buster: I thought that was obvious by now Rio: If you didn't you wouldn't feel the need to tell me Rio: Bless Buster: If you could pick up on anything, I wouldn't have to Buster: But here we are, still chatting away Rio: Shit party, like I said Buster: Shit lad, like I said Rio: So? Rio: The wedding isn't actually in the Spring, you know Buster: So don't you want someone who can hold your attention Rio: Don't we all, McKenna Rio: what's your point Buster: What's the matter, not as irresistible as you front? Buster: If you can get any lad, get a better one Rio: That's about holding their attention, not mine Rio: that's easy Buster: You could have it all Buster: That should be easy if you ain't full of shit Rio: All lads are boring Rio: 'til you grow up, which something doesn't happen 'til you're like 50, if ever Buster: Become a gay along with my sister then Rio: You're alright, thanks Buster: You come at me with a problem, I offer you a solution Buster: What families do Rio: Aside from the blindingly obvious fact that girls hold my attention even less Rio: but pat yourself on the back, have at it Buster: You're alright Rio: Mhmm Buster: Are you really not gonna offer to return the favour? Buster: Bullshit are you polite Rio: What's your problem then? Rio: Aside from the obvious, which is what the shrink is for, you're welcome Buster: The obvious being what, according to you? Rio: Oh honey Rio: he's not that boring Rio: we'll be here 'til the next birthday/anniversary/bullshit holiday Buster: [laughs himself] Rio: [when you get to be a lil 😏] Buster: [when you getting drunk on the low, sorry everyone] Rio: Hope you learnt how to handle your drink better than that time we stole that bottle of Rio: what even was it, from the pub and you spewed everywhere Rio: that was grim Buster: I was a kid & it was brandy Buster: The odds were against me Rio: 😂 Rio: we were all kids and you really gave us away Rio: still can't with that smell Buster: Fuck you Buster: You said you'd look after me Buster: Don't take up nursing, yeah? Rio: Don't hold it against me like I knew you'd be redecorating the walls before we were even halfway through Rio: I'm so caring Rio: but the uniform ain't as cute as they let on so I won't Buster: It only looked that bad to you 'cause you were seeing it in triple Rio: Never felt so sick since Rio: should've put me off for life by rights Buster: It put me off for a summer Buster: Felt like fucking ages Rio: Alright, you tiny alcoholic Buster: What can I say? I'm obviously a glutton for punishment Buster: Why I'm talking to you still Rio: Ew Rio: People you can see for that too, McKenna Rio: just don't get your appointments confused Buster: It ain't something I wanna change, but cheers Rio: They don't change it, silly Buster: Or chat bullshit about then, whatever Buster: You know what I meant Rio: Don't act like you don't know what I mean Rio: not that sweet and innocent Rio: your search history is no doubt littered with what I mean Buster: Not at all sweet or innocent, but you've made it clear you don't wanna know Rio: Have I Buster: A lesser man would've taken offense at being called cracked Rio: You actually talk like you're from the 1800s Rio: it's ace Buster: That's basically the first thing that school teaches Buster: You should go if you're that into it Rio: No hiding the accent Rio: you don't sound like scum Rio: or the colour Rio: bet you have like Saudi princes and that's your diversity checked Buster: They don't all sound as hot as me though & they ain't all allowed to be white or male, that'd be a lawsuit Buster: No princes but me, alas Rio: 😂 Rio: What's the point then Rio: not leaving Dublin for less Buster: I can't say I'm gutted Rio: You've said plenty weirder Rio: cracked, remember, I know I said that for a reason but I forgot Buster: I can't say it 'cause I would be gutted to have to go to school with you Buster: It'd be well distracting Rio: I have that affect, yeah Buster: You & me both but I'd rather keep on this side of it & keep my A*s Rio: Humblebrag Rio: keep it for the Oxbridge application Buster: Nah, a not even little known fact actually Buster: I can't be the Golden Boy with any less Rio: Sad Rio: everyone loves me just 'cos Buster: 🍀 Buster: Not sure my parents are capable of real emotion & they're the ones we're talking about so Rio: Sure they are Rio: Anger is an emotion Buster: Everyone knows they used all the positive ones on their grand love affair though Rio: Not trying to turn that into a triangle, don't you worry Rio: though that'd shit on all other worst kept secrets so it's a shame Buster: They are just less hot versions of me, be more blatant Rio: That's a bold claim Rio: and I said I'm not trying so not really Buster: It's a true story is what it is Rio: Hit them with it Rio: see what they reckon Buster: Been there, done that Rio: 😏 'Course Rio: you're such a delight Buster: Not really, but I'm not trying to be Rio: Trying out that sarcasm bullshit Buster: Stating a fact Buster: Right now all I'm trying to be is drunk Rio: I was talking about me Rio: not the only one capable of self-absorption, babe Buster: Oh Buster: Try harder then Rio: You can keep it, I reckon Rio: just another way of chatting shit but acting smug like you've said what you meant Buster: Try it on your boyfriend before you decide to fully uncommit, I reckon Buster: You look hot when you look smug Rio: How drunk are you Rio: aside from the obligatory 'not drunk enough' Buster: I'm not asking you to take care of me this time Buster: Don't worry about it Rio: Good job too Buster: Yeah, if you're still that shit at it Rio: Oh my God Rio: what other grudges are you holding, like Buster: It's what families do, babe Rio: Nah Rio: live and let live this lot Buster: Tell it to Nance, she's gutted I'm not wearing a 🌈 pin in support months later Rio: You two are dramatic Rio: I told you Buster: It's been passed down from both parents, I've told you before Buster: No fucking chance to be otherwise on that Rio: Gutted Buster: I'm rich enough it's expected of me regardless Buster: So I ain't crying Rio: if you are, hankies got the thread count to handle it, got it Buster: I'll just straight up wipe my eyes on the 💸 Rio: Truly a nightmare, boy Rio: give you that Buster: You're still dreaming about me Buster: I'll take it Rio: You're not funny Buster: You've proved otherwise however many times tonight already Buster: Stop laughing & maybe I'll buy it Rio: You have your moments Rio: don't push it Buster: Where's the fun in that? Rio: Shit party will be over soon and you can go back to having whatever passes for in your neck of the woods Buster: & until then we're both bored Buster: Tell me you don't want a little push Rio: What do you have in mind then Rio: or is this all just more chat Buster: You mean to also tell me you can't read my mind? Buster: Way to disappoint me Rio: 💔 Rio: Nothing worse than crossed wires is there Buster: I was thinking a little drinking game from your neck of the woods Buster: What have you got for me? Rio: Alright Rio: Come on then Buster: Go for your life Rio: [like are you two just playing, where is her mans, so many questions] Buster: [it has to be just them though unless he can take her man down and impress her on the low, that's the only way he can be involved] Rio: [the best one I've found is bullshit, basically you have to lie about your card hand and when you get caught in a lie you drink] Buster: [in this land of fiction pretend she knows a badass one/has made up a badass one because would have] Rio: [bin off the boy too] Buster: [what a mood] Rio: [gotta cockblock though] Buster: [better than we did with baze anyway, you got years yet lads] Rio: [get whisked away beech he's gonna be bored af] Buster: [& Buster gonna be drunk af oh lord] Rio: [partayyy] Buster: [your parents can't say shit at least boy cos they were doing it] Rio: [but will, parents are hypocrites for life] Buster: [and baze are the biggest byeeeeee that's the tea] Rio: [trubigfacts] Buster: [this drinking game should involve forfeits and it should be brandy cos the mems] Rio: [lord they're gonna vom] Buster: [he definitely will cos throwback] Rio: is that your pile of vom I just walked past or is someone else flagging too Buster: What kind of lawyer would I make if I answered that honestly Rio: 😂 Rio: Plead the fifth or whatever the fuck Buster: Exactly Buster: Couldn't have put it better myself Rio: let's hope you can or you'll never pass the bar, babe Buster: Never seen a bar I wanted to walk past, babe Rio: Omg Rio: granddad, that you Buster: [lols] Buster: Where is he though? Buster: Fucking done one from his own party Rio: Would if you could Rio: can't blame him Buster: He could've took me with him Buster: I can blame him for that Rio: Awh Rio: cute Buster: Shut up Buster: I wanna go home, that's not a secret Rio: You also wanna be favourite, less of a secret Buster: If you don't, you're stupider than you act Rio: Rude Buster: True Rio: Nope Buster: Yeah Rio: Think what you like Buster: Not gonna think what I don't like Buster: Not that much of a glutton for punishment, like Rio: Neither am I, so I don't care what you think Buster: Cute Rio: 🙄 Buster: If you actually did that instead of 😍 at me, maybe I'd believe you Rio: If I needed any more proof you were wasted Rio: Good thing you can't drive or we'd be taking your keys right now Buster: If I could drive, I'd have left ages ago Rio: Can't say I'd be gutted Buster: Not out loud nah Buster: Say it with your eyes as standard Rio: What are you looking at my eyes so much for then Buster: Safest place Rio: Jesus, McKenna Buster: Well, it is Buster: I didn't dress you in that Rio: I'm a big girl, can dress myself now Buster: Good to know Rio: You're such a dick Buster: & what? Buster: Is your problem that you don't like it or you do? Buster: 'Cause either way, not mine Rio: Oh fuck off Buster: Like you said, I would if I could Rio: you don't have to be annoying me Buster: You don't have to reply to me Rio: Yeah, that's probably how this usually goes for you Rio: like I'm gonna sit here and let you chat shit on me Buster: Mute me, I thought you already had anyway Rio: Why should I Buster: You're the one who's so fine with the way things are between us Buster: Why wouldn't you? Rio: I can be civil Buster: Why bother? Rio: Because I'm not some kid who gets his kicks out of being a dick? Rio: You're fucking immature Buster: You get your kicks out of being around me Buster: Obviously Rio: Why do you keep saying shit like this Buster: 'Cause you won't Rio: Because it's not true Buster: Bullshit Buster: I was there Buster: I'm here now Rio: We were kids Buster: Irrelevant Rio: How could that possibly be irrelevant Rio: kids do stupid shit constantly Buster: I do stupid shit now Buster: According to you, I'll do stupid shit til I'm 50 if not forever Rio: So Rio: what are you saying, we repeat that as well as the brandy? Buster: I did throw up so probably not but Rio: Yeah, that's the only reason why not Buster: It's my only reason Rio: You're gonna regret at this when you sober up, so I'll do you a favour and ignore it Buster: Don't do me any favours Buster: You don't know me like that any more Rio: It's just what families do Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't worry about it Buster: I wasn't Buster: I won't Rio: Glad to hear it then Buster: I bet Rio: Why wouldn't I be Buster: Of course you would, it makes shit really easy for you, that's literally what I'm saying Buster: Nobody's worried about it, we're so unfazed it can be like it never happened Rio: What, because you're twatted I should go for it Rio: that's not horrible at all, is it Buster: 'Cause you want to Buster: That's the reason Rio: Buster just don't Rio: alright Buster: Yeah 'cause me shutting up about it is gonna make a world of difference Buster: Been there, tried that Rio: I don't know what you want right now Rio: I don't think you do either Buster: That's the best lie of the night Buster: 🏆🎉 Rio: Thanks Rio: fanfare not necessary but I'll take my prize in cash or booze Buster: Have a drink on me then Rio: Cheers Buster: [finally raises his glass in a cheers which is probably empty anyway] Rio: [imagine bazes faces rn lol] Buster: [does one at them too because shout out mum & dad] Rio: Probably a decent plan if your parents were normal Rio: get so embarrassing they have to take you home Rio: but reckon they'll let you ride it out and suffer tomorrow so Buster: Still, I'll pass out eventually so one way or another, I'm leaving Rio: Don't say things like that Rio: that's really depressing Buster: I'm not here to make you feel good babe, you passed on that Rio: Yeah 'cos I'm worried about me Buster: Bullshit do you care about me Buster: Get over yourself Rio: What kind of bitch do you actually think I am Buster: One who doesn't care, did I slur too much then or what? Rio: Loud and clear Buster: Good Rio: Yeah Rio: have fun with this hangover Buster: Cheers Buster: I won't wait for you to show up in the nurse gear Rio: I wouldn't Rio: Bitch or not, not happening Buster: Talk to my fucking sister if you're any kind of caring bitch Rio: I already have Rio: you're obsessed with yourself but I actually ain't Buster: If that's meant to impress me you've taken a wrong turn Rio: No, it's meant to be a fuck you Rio: keep up Buster: That actually would be impressive if you could come close to pulling it off Rio: Shut up Rio: for fuck's sake Buster: If you don't like it, do something about it Buster: Don't just fucking take it Buster: Who are you now? Rio: You're being that pathetic right now, I'm not going to fight you Buster: There's loads of different ways to fight Buster: But if you wanna take a cop out, go for it Rio: and what's the point in that? Rio: you like being like this, apparently, so enjoy it Rio: like you've said, we don't know each other like that, why would anything you say about me matter Buster: You tell me, babe Buster: Why does it? Rio: This is ridiculous Rio: You're ridiculous Buster: How far under your skin, am I? Buster: That's what's ridiculous Rio: You wish Buster: I haven't touched you for years Buster: I don't need to Buster: What do I need wishes for? Rio: You're disgusting Buster: Like you said, my search history is Rio: At least you can admit that Buster: I told you earlier, I can own it Buster: All of it Buster: Why can't you? Rio: 'Cos you want me to say something stupid just so you can take the piss later Rio: but I ain't gone enough for that shit Buster: No I don't Rio: Yeah you do Buster: I don't Buster: I probably won't remember this later, fuck's sake Rio: You definitely won't Buster: So cut the bullshit Buster: What does it matter? Rio: Alright Rio: when you do Buster: 😂 Buster: Alright Buster: This is why I fucking missed you Buster: Well played, like Rio: 🙄😏 Rio: Win again, do I? Buster: Is that what you need from me? Okay then Rio: Obviously Rio: I'm the competitive one here Buster: It ain't never been all me Buster: Don't lie that hard Rio: Okay Rio: a bit Rio: you bring out the worst in me, how about that for a compromise Buster: I'll take it Rio: Good Buster: That kiss proved you bring out the worst in me too so Rio: 😂 Rio: Don't even try to blame me for that Buster: Nobody else has complained Buster: It's obviously your fault Rio: SINCE Rio: if you're having any success now it's thanks to me Buster: Well there weren't no before Buster: That don't mean you taught me anything Rio: Yeah it does Buster: How would you, you barely kissed me back Rio: We couldn't both be on attack Rio: defensive was my only hope Buster: What can I say? I go after what I want Rio: Hmm Buster: Don't even try & act like that ain't true Rio: Just curious why you were after my tonsils so bad Buster: It wasn't the aim Buster: Only the consequence Rio: You're funny Buster: & yeah my aim was a little bit the problem Buster: But fuck off Rio: 😂 Rio: you were in the general vicinity Buster: Cheers that's well comforting Rio: Hit you with a 'it happens to all lads' if you like, really cheer you up Buster: Don't fucking dare Buster: Trying to jinx me or some shit now Rio: I know you're still a virgin Rio: you'd probably have liveblogged it or some shit if you weren't Buster: Yeah I might Rio: I'll definitely mute you before then Rio: s'all good Buster: Unless your boyfriend needs the tips Buster: Fingers crossed they ain't all gonna be as shit as this one Rio: He isn't my first boyfriend Rio: but I haven't slept with any of them Rio: contrary to what you reckon Buster: What do you want me to say? Rio: Erm try sorry, wanker Buster: Alright Buster: I am then Rio: You're what Buster: I'm not gonna fucking get on my knees for it Buster: You know what I'm saying Rio: Say it then Rio: one word Rio: not asking the rest, am I Buster: Jesus Buster: That's a fucking word Rio: Why you bringing him into this Rio: he would never Buster: He would 100% get on his knees Buster: Guaranteed Rio: You like punishment, I heard Rio: crucifying you is a bit much Buster: He's basically never upright unless you nail him, the soft cunt Buster: That's all I'm saying Rio: Why are you slating him right now Rio: just 'cos he's the bigger man and would apologize Buster: Distraction Buster: Obviously Rio: Well try harder Buster: Don't tempt me Rio: Ha Rio: come on Rio: or do you wanna owe me Buster: Fuck that Buster: Look, I'm sorry, yeah? Rio: There Rio: that was actually easy, wasn't it Rio: apology accepted Buster: Cheers then Buster: Just one more thing Rio: What Buster: Don't bother fucking this one Buster: Trust me Buster: That's me doing you a favour, however we know each other Rio: Looking unlikely Rio: but I'll keep it in mind Buster: Good Buster: I don't need the mental images on top of the boring display I already saw Rio: Well that's your own fault Buster: Technically it's yours for not being inside Rio: Well I'm not sorry Rio: it weren't that bad Buster: You weren't Buster: His case has been made Rio: just keep your opinions to yourself Rio: or at least between us Rio: don't need a scrap right now Buster: I'm not dumping him for you, calm down Rio: Isn't that what brothers are meant to do Rio: don't think Junior is gonna be very useful to me Rio: sorry, like Buster: You can have my sister Buster: She's a proper manhater Buster: It'd be quality Rio: 😂 Rio: Bad enough I dragged him to a family function Rio: can't just let everyone start attacking him Buster: Why did you? Buster: Too much of a rookie error even for you Rio: 'cos I knew it'd probably be boring Buster: Yeah but so's he Buster: You can't fight boring with more boring, babe Rio: I obviously didn't think so, did I Buster: You're only lying to yourself at this point Buster: I could fucking see that you were bored senseless Buster: Come on Rio: I don't know then Rio: beats being alone Buster: Alone with a family this size Buster: Chance would be a fine thing Rio: Easy Rio: like you said, no one's looking, no one gives a fuck Buster: Everyone's looking & pretending they ain't Buster: They don't give enough of a fuck though, that's true Rio: Changed your tune now you're not trying to get me to kiss you Rio: but agreed Buster: I weren't gonna do it in the middle of them all Buster: Hold up everyone, get in a fucking circle really quick Rio: said like you weren't acting like an insane person Buster: When have I ever acted like a sane person? Buster: What kid necks brandy in the middle of the morning Buster: You used to like it Rio: Never said I didn't Buster: So you do still like me then Rio: You sound surprised Buster: That'll be 'cause I am Rio: I'm a nice fucking person Rio: 😂 Idk why you reckon I ain't Buster: You were nice to me 'cause you had a massive crush on me, it don't make you a saint Buster: If anything, it makes you the opposite Rio: Charming Rio: any ulterior motives I might've had, as a literal child, flew right out the window with that kiss didn't they so that's invalid Buster: You were still running round after me for a fair while before though Buster: It took you long enough to take the hint Buster: *after Rio: No I was not Rio: your selective memory Buster: You were & I had to be the opposite of charming Buster: You ain't talked to me since so that fucks your sainthood Rio: That was obviously what you wanted Rio: wouldn't be very saintly to keep 'running 'round after you' Buster: There's your excuse, you can have it Rio: I don't need no excuse Rio: I was here Rio: it was you that was avoiding, making it weird Buster: Don't act like you never avoided me Buster: Just 'cause I started it Rio: Well, it don't matter now, does it Buster: You're doing it now Buster: You can't look at me Rio: [does like yeah I can] Buster: [a moment because of course he's looking at her too] Rio: How many fingers am I holding up? Rio: [flips him off but grins with it] Buster: Not enough for a fun night Rio: 😂 Buster: Unless your grip is like Buster: Really something Rio: Were you always this Rio: I don't even know Buster: Puberty made me even more of a thorn in your side in every way, babe Buster: Take it up with your fave lad, Jesus Buster: Or his dad Rio: One in the same, lad Buster: He's his own dad? How does that work Rio: I know, mental Rio: hear he made the whole universe too? Rio: wild stuff Buster: I could say I did that, It don't make it a real thing Buster: Even wilder stuff Rio: your proclivity for bullshit is known Rio: could tell me anything, don't mean I'll believe it Buster: Shame I won't remember that Rio: Is it? Buster: Isn't it? Rio: What are we talking about now? Buster: The fucked upness that will be my tomorrow Rio: Don't envy you that Buster: At least I won't have to talk to you & vice versa Buster: Small mercy there Rio: Drama queen Buster: 👑 Rio: Should get some water though for real Buster: Me or you? Rio: You Buster: Nah, I don't need that shit Buster: I'm not going to bed Rio: What are you gonna do Buster: Stay here Buster: Like old times Rio: Okay Rio: but don't forget, when you do Buster: You sound more like a mum than the one I've got Rio: Just doing my bit Buster: By rights you should've been a good nurse Buster: What a fucking curve Rio: I would be Rio: it's so rude holding that against me Rio: it was pretty scary actually Rio: thought you was gonna start vomming blood or something Buster: That would've been such a cool story Buster: Let's tell people I did that Rio: Can tell your mates Rio: all posh boys are psychopaths Buster: Yeah Buster: Why they love me at this school Buster: Gonna be Headboy in no time Rio: Probably Rio: but you ain't Buster: Yeah I will, I just had to get a rep first Rio: I mean, you ain't a psycho Rio: unlucky Buster: How do you know? Buster: Easily could be Rio: Nah Buster: Then, I'll just fake it til I make it, I guess Rio: Should work Rio: easy to convince people of what they wanna see Buster: Exactly Rio: What would you wanna be head boy for though actually Buster: Get such a hard on for a badge obviously Buster: What kind of question is that? Rio: [A lol] Rio: Fucking nerd Buster: If I ain't Headboy someone else is Buster: That makes them better than me Buster: Nobody's better than me so Rio: Better in the eyes of teachers Rio: at fucking...being a good example and peer mentor or whatever the fuck it actually means Buster: Don't be stupid Buster: It's a popularity contest Buster: They might as well give you a fucking 👑 Rio: 🙄 Rio: you're so weird Buster: Fuck off Rio: Honestly Rio: be wanting to be prom king next Buster: Obviously I do Buster: What the fuck Rio: 😂 Rio: Stop Buster: You stop Buster: Taking the piss out of me Rio: I'm sorry but you're being funny Buster: You ain't sorry at all Buster: But yeah, I'm hilarious, like Rio: If that's what you care about that's fine, I guess Rio: don't get it but you know Buster: I don't need you to get me Buster: Calm down Rio: I'm not trying, am I Rio: taking the piss Buster: Stop though Rio: I have Rio: I will Buster: Good 'cause I'm gonna be sick Buster: [is but hopefully not everywhere please boy] Rio: Oh God Rio: run Buster: You worry so much Buster: I thought we weren't doing that shit Rio: so I'll just let you chunder everywhere Rio: it's not like above and beyond is it Rio: get you a sodding glass of water if you let me Buster: You're so cute Rio: And you are very very drunk Buster: And I really wanna go home Buster: Why does nobody listen to me? Christ Rio: Let me find a sober adult for you Rio: I think both your parents are drinking Buster: Good fucking luck with this lot Rio: Seriously Rio: [my thoughts are probably Caleb 'cos not a big drinker even as a teen so as an adult, with some small kids still?] Buster: [A logical conclusion I feel like, also less awkward to talk to your dad than like whoever else it could be like Ro god forbid cos we know how that future is panning out] Rio: [also she'd be #horrified at the state of him so avoid that lmao] Rio: My da can take you, if you like Rio: don't like choke on your own sick though Rio: shall I find Nance to come? Buster: Or you could just come so I don't have to talk to your dad Rio: Of course I'm coming in the car Rio: like I trust you and your mouth rn Rio: but someone should stay with you Buster: Stay with me then Rio: Yeah? Rio: Alright Rio: give me 5 to sort shit then Buster: I'll start the countdown now, like Rio: You ain't allowed to say anything about the quality of my nursing ever again, you know that right Rio: [tell your mans its time to go] Buster: I know that I won't remember fuck all about it, either way Buster: Lucky escape for you there Rio: Ha, funny Rio: be less so when I poison you Buster: You don't reckon I've beat you to that already? Buster: Hilarious Rio: There's time and opportunity to finish you off now Rio: fool Buster: Maybe that's how I wanna go Buster: Could all be a carefully planned and orchestrated situation, babe Rio: Nah Rio: got head boy and prom king to win yet Buster: Lying in my grave kinda takes that pressure off Buster: I can just leave them with all these fond memories Buster: Such as now Buster: Be Golden Boy forever Rio: Shh Rio: so morbid Rio: maybe you are 🍀 after-all Buster: Dead babies will do it to you Buster: & yeah, same family, remember Rio: Come on Buster: Shh we're not allowed to talk about it Buster: Actual worst kept secret Rio: You ain't letting that stop you Rio: talk about whatever you like, not listening anyway am I Buster: Of course you are Buster: Never been able to ignore me Rio: You are pretty loud Buster: [laughs loudly so point proven there] Rio: [smiles, when her mans is probably giving him such a dirty look 'cos ruined his plans lmao, get in the car lads] Buster: [Let's hope he didn't see it because we don't need you to smack him boy you're already looking jealous enough when you ain't her mans] Rio: Good thing is if you're sick in here, one of the kids probably did it yesterday so who cares Buster: I don't reckon I can Buster: But if you really want me to, for old times sake, I'll give it my best shot Rio: Sweet but let's keep our bodily fluids to ourselves Buster: All of them? Buster: Shame Rio: [nudges him like 😏] Rio: Behave Buster: Why would I wanna do a thing like that? Buster: Not my dad driving Rio: You don't think you're in enough trouble as is? Buster: I think I could get in more Buster: Easily Rio: Why would you wanna do a thing like that? Buster: 'Cause I'm not your boring boyfriend Rio: No, you ain't Buster: & I got rid of him for you Buster: You're welcome, like Rio: Thought you said you weren't gonna do that Buster: Yeah but Rio: You're alright, I got rid of him Rio: you were just a useful excuse Buster: I aim to please Rio: I'm sure Buster: & my aim's improved since Buster: In case you were worried Rio: 😂 Rio: Pleased for you Buster: You could be pleased for yourself Buster: If you just stop playing Rio: You might not remember any of this tomorrow but I probably will Buster: Promise or a threat? Rio: Take it how you want Rio: just a fact, I ain't as gone Buster: Here's another fact, I don't care Rio: Will when I can rip the piss out of you Buster: If you need this for ammunition you already can't keep up Rio: We've established Rio: I'm nice, you're a dick Buster: Nah, you're passive aggressive, I'm just aggressive Rio: Alright, alpha male 🙄 Buster: That's really not much of an insult, babe Buster: You might as well stop fighting me Rio: I'm not fighting you Rio: wouldn't really be fair would it Buster: That's the difference between me and you Buster: I don't care if the fight's fair Rio: One of Buster: I'll all but knocked myself out for you & you still won't throw any punches Buster: Hilarious Buster: Even Nance would rise to this much bait, like Buster: & she's barely a McKenna Rio: Exactly Rio: wore yourself out, rookie Rio: and don't be rude Rio: she's as much of one as you Buster: [Laughs] Buster: I take it back, that's the best lie of the night actually Buster: You wish, then you could handle it, but nah, stamina for days Buster: & nah she ain't Rio: You're the only one wishing and concerning yourself with what I can handle, boy Buster: Keep telling yourself that, babe Rio: Well, obviously you ain't the ONLY one but in this car Buster: Bold of you to assume your dad don't love me Rio: [lols] Rio: shut up Rio: outweirding yourself Buster: If you weren't too scared you could make me Rio: Who's scared Buster: Me when we were kids & you now Rio: Nah Rio: I know what I'm doing Buster: It doesn't mean you ain't shitting yourself at the prospect of doing it Rio: With my cousin, in a car with my dad? Rio: that's just common sense, McKenna Buster: That's just another bullshit excuse, Cavante Buster: You know where I am & where I've been Rio: You said, you started it Buster: You know why Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: Maybe Buster: Can your dad not drive any faster than this? Buster: Jesus Christ Buster: It would have been quicker to walk, like Rio: How you're stumbling? I think not Rio: What's your hurry, do you need to stop Buster: Need, want, there's not a load of difference Rio: I mean, I'd prefer it if you got out to be sick, thank you Rio: we ain't that far Buster: I'm not gonna puke on you, calm down Rio: You better not Rio: definitely don't know each other like that Buster: The outfit's too good Buster: I won't Rio: Considerate 😏 Rio: [let's get 'em there can't be that far away thanks and bye Caleb] Buster: [have fun getting him in girl] Rio: [get you situated on the sofa 'cos we ain't going to his room rn and be getting water and ting] Buster: [I bet their sofas ain't comfy cos expensive stylish ones never look like they are] Rio: [poor boy] Rio: go get your duvet Buster: You're trusting me to climb these stairs? Buster: Like I said, shit nurse Rio: For goodness sake Rio: where's your room then Rio: it better not be gross or I'm charging Buster: [Tells her cos I can't remember the layout] Rio: 👍 Rio: don't wander Buster: [Lies stretched out on the sofa like a little Crim] Rio: [first throws it at him but then has to tuck 'cos mum] Buster: [Gives her an accidental soft look but when was the last time anyone did that for him lbr] Rio: [puts the TV on 'cos gotta have some pretense of doing something and distraction] Buster: [sipping his water like a good boy] Rio: [is like yasss hydrate lmao] Buster: [when you're like come & lie here with me bitch but in gestures] Rio: [when you do but over the covers] Rio: ['Better?'] Buster: [Just nods because looking at her & having a moment] Rio: ['Good'] Buster: ['Don't go'] Rio: 'I won't, not 'til they get back, don't worry'] Buster: [When you happy about this not only cos you don't wanna be alone but because it's her specifically] Rio: [When you like, don't fall asleep, don't fall asleep 'cos cosy] Buster: [& he's getting closer to her all the time, we see you trying to snuggle boy] Rio: ['when are you going back home then?'] Buster: [Shrugs cos I feel like he genuinely wouldn't know cos can't just do what he wants yet he has to do what baze wants] Rio: ['your friends are probably all at their holiday homes anyway, yeah?'] Buster: ['Course & as far as they're concerned this is mine, don't need to tell 'em it's not on an island somewhere or some shit'] Rio: [laughs quietly 'secret's safe with me'] Buster: ['You sure you can handle keeping another one?'] Rio: ['duh, you know how many brothers and sisters I got, I'm the best at keeping secrets'] Buster: ['Good to know. I'll try & remember'] Rio: [puts up fingers like '10'] Buster: [laughs] Rio: ['don't get ideas though' 'cos throwback] Buster: ['You won't know either way, can't read my mind'] Rio: ['wouldn't want to, filth' but smiling] Buster: ['You'd love it'] Rio: [😏 'go to sleep'] Buster: ['You gonna come with me then?' When you wanna sleep & dream & snuggle together aw] Rio: ['gotta look after you, ain't I' when you stroke his hair but then pretend you just messing it up] Buster: [When you lowkey snuggle into her more than you already were] Rio: ['Don't remember this in the morning, yeah'] Buster: ['Shh, I'm asleep'] Rio: ['Good boy'] Buster: [A smile because always gonna be into that we know] Rio: [when baze and nancy are gonna be so confused like hello?] Buster: [You shoulda known what's up lads, it's always been obvious af] Rio: [she's deffo falling asleep too ain't like she's sober] Buster: [and she's definitely being snuggled rn so who could resist] Rio: when you 'rents probably hitting you up 'cos baze in no fit state to be taking you home like are you staying or what] Buster: [Caleb 100% would, he's that dad who will spam you with texts and missed calls] Rio: [soz babe your kids suck at replying lmao] Buster: [At least he knows where she is] Rio: [true, she'll get woken up when baze get back assumedly then it'll be all sos] Buster: [Dad's taxi come through]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕