like i'm so fucking ill about it. the (shipped) gold standard was the last song they needed to play to have performed every single song off of folie à deux live at least once. the record that has caused them the most pain. the one that they avoided like the plague for over a decade after its release, save for i don't care and the occasional instances of disloyal order, what a catch, or 20 dollar nose bleed when they toured with panic! that one time. the one that patrick wouldn't even talk about, for the longest time. it got them booed visciously, it got them dissected by critics, it got them pelted with garbage and glowsticks at shows, it got them stressed and strained to the point of needing to pause all efforts as a band to make sure they could still stay FRIENDS in the wake of it, and now it is the only fall out boy record that they have played 100% of, INCLUDING lullabye and fucking pavlove. and the last song left was (shipped).
you can only blame your problems on the world for so long. i want to scream "i love you" from the top of my lungs, but i'm afraid that someone else will hear me.
(or, they used to be afraid. evidently, not anymore.)
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i know i said more dom!reader blah blah blah sorry arlecchino rotted my brain severely. tmasc bunny!arle giving me severe brain damage /pos
(he/him prns used for arle)
at a glance, the big ears and small puffball of a tail might temporarily make you think Arlecchino is far sweeter then he actually is. how could anyone who looked so cute be anything but, right?
but you know better. you serve under Lord Arlecchino - literally. tucked under his desk while he makes you slobber and choke all over his strap. you barely get to breathe with his hand fisted in your hair, keeping you right where he wants you. if you've been particularly exemplary on your little missions, he might even let you sit on his lap. though whether thats worse or not is debatable, making you cockwarm him as he works. and you'd better keep quiet, too. he's not above muzzling you or just straight up shoving his fingers into your mouth to silence you while you squirm on his lap.
maybe if you last until he's done he'll fuck you properly. bend you over his desk and pound your pretty little holes until you're unable to stand. he'll still make you clean up his strap afterwards, of course.
it's when he's in a bad mood that he really gets going. sheds the act of polite, dignified little bunny. no, he's here to break you in and use you like the little toy you are. and you'll let him, won't you? drooling all over his strap when he fucks your throat raw, drags you into the nearest room the moment he sees you to watch your eyes roll back into your head as his cock stretches you out..
he's just as much of a mess as you are when he's this pent up, though. he doesn't bother keeping up appearances when he just has some pent up stress to get out. if you could even think straight you'd notice his puffball of a tail wagging and his ears drooping as he ruts into you, panting and grunting against your ear when you cum around his strap for the tenth time. you could almost swear you heard him whimper, but you'll be in a world of punishment if you mention it the next day (he absolutely did).
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I think alot about serizawa.
that he's so powerful and so sensitive, and how he's the very common Shonen anime trope of "villain with tragic backstory who just needed friends and is won over to the hero's side after the hero listens to them and shows them kindness" but like, his tragic backstory is so grounded in places others just aren't? like, he just didn't want to hurt anybody, so he hid himself away. that's so simple, yet so poignant and painful, so...normal. its such a common emotion, such a common solution. its not a healthy one or a "good" one, but its all he had...and then at some point, his self-imposed isolation became so hurtful to him that it caused him to become vulnerable to exploitation. to manipulation, and he became a weapon in a never ending cycle of violence, until someone was kind enough to listen to him, to want to help him.
and then i think about the fact that that person was just a child who had experienced the exact same struggle but was provided tools by people who loved him to help manage his problems....and it honestly makes me so emotional. because, like, it's a perfect allegory for how living with mental illness affects people.
serizawa is older than mob, so the society he grew up in didn't know how to handle his powers (mental illness/neurodivergency), but now, as times have changed and society has become increasingly more aware, it opens the pathway for people to find strength together, to have people in their lives that understand that they need kindess, they need love, that their mental illness isnt something bad or wrong.
but even more than that, they know that their differences do not make them bad people, they are not something to be shunned and hidden away, but just something to be worked through. just a unique aspect of how that person is, and it's neither good nor bad, just how they are.
and then i think about how serizawa didn't have anyone like that in his life until he was 30, and how those years of isolation and then manipulation (which caused him to do the very thing he was afraid of), how all of that could have broken him could have made him unloving, could have made him bitter. but instead, he overcame his fears, his guilt, his shame, and under all of that, he's just kind.
when i get really afraid, of myself, of the world, when i want to myself hide away and never leave my bed, my room, i think of him, and i feel so comforted, so much less alone.
what a wonderful man, written so gently, so lovingly. it's so rare to see a grown man with a stigmatized symptom of mental illness depicted in such a kind way, it makes me want to hug ONE through a phone screen.
anyway, uh. yeah katsuya. i think he's pretty neat.
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lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...
it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy
also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]
gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.
anyway.
there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.
imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.
a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.
the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?
but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.
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If you shush Rust, would you place your finger on his mouth or on his skull's mouth? (sarcastic)
That's not actually what Zero is doing but it looked really goofy when I was rendering Rust's helmet lmao
Also, I have some other things in the works; non Rust x Zero related things. One has to do with Prometheus and Menoetius (a character I've only briefly touched on and is someone Prometheus would consider a sibling of sorts). It's actually a minor gore piece too, so that's fun. Uhmmm... *clicks tongue* I dunno, I think that's it lmfao
TLT MASTERLIST
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went to a classical concert last night and i saw this guy who’s the section leader for the cellos. he had his hair up in a bun and i was like “geto playing the cello fits so well actually” or rather the features of the cello fits him so perfectly and it does !!!! the lower timbre of the cello is such a testament to his raspy and calm voice, but when triggered by external forces (elgar cello concerto im looking @ u — the piece makes such a beautiful use of the instrument), the outburst is so intense and hard-hitting, something i’d expect from a collected man like geto who, when he gets angry and furious, really burns everything in his way with his spite lol.
the lower register of the cello is often a grounding instrument for the piece when it’s not played in a concerto, sort of like a bass guitar in songs, and i think at geto’s core that’s what he was for gojo — someone not as strong as gojo in terms of a flawless technique but always being the voice of reason, that laidback, chill friend who sometimes surprises you with an insane idea that usually differs from the voice of reason (when the cello is put on centre stage for a concerto, that is).
and also the fact that in ep 23’s juju sanpo there’s the (joking) implication of gojo being a violin teacher despite it all being a ploy for megumi’s supposed situation of getting hit on, it also DOES fit gojo so much because the violin in general is a really attention-seeking instrument (don’t kill me!! i play violin and i mean... i sorta agree). there’s not one but two sections of the violins in the orchestra and it’s shrill, high-pitched, a little bit of the buzz in the ear when played not so well, but when manipulated well i think it’s truly one of the most beautiful instruments constructed. and that exactly feels like what gojo is — not to reduce his character to an instrument, but rather just pointing out similar features of the violin’s sound to parts of gojo’s character — a little insufferable and annoying at first but he has a lot of depth with every year that he ages, maybe not at first when he was younger but there is that fact that older violins harmonise and sound better from the constant use and practice of the player.
the gojo now is like an aged violin like an old stradivarius or guarneri, technique honed perfectly from years and years of practice after the whole debacle of riko. the luthier process is also important — the act of satoru’s parents essentially making love and producing gojo who shifted the trajectory of the jujutsu world — where it shows that luthiers who construct the instrument from scratch will not know if their instrument will sound well years later, but it differs in his case. it just so happens that his parents were lucky luthiers who already knew the value of their instrument from the beginning.
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