#Obviously the only solution is to find a new therapist

[scarlikebite]

Thought I had therapy at noon so I joined the zoom call... found out I actually have it at one. The embarrassment is so strong right now. What a fuckin' Monday.

[andreas-river]

NIKTO HEADCANONS (but realistic)

TW: sexual themes, acute dissociative disorder mentioned, this man has definitely been through a lot.

A/N: I don't think I need to say this, but these headcanons are strictly from my perspective. Like many other people here, I enjoy writing for this character, and I have a lot of projects for the future. Anyway, y'all enjoy!

→ He loves cup noodles. He gives the vibes of eating them because they are quick to make and saves him a lot of time. But he’s skilled in the kitchen. Dmitry once founded him cooking in the kitchen’s base in the middle of the night. A glance from him was enough for Dmitry to turn around and walk away with another secret to hide.

→ He’s friendly only in private and only with his team, and obviously Sputnik. He feels comfortable around them, and he laughs only with them. He doesn’t hang out though. He doesn’t like public spaces at all.

→ Diagnosed with Acute dissociative disorder which may include symptoms of other dissociative disorders including dissociative identity disorder (source). This means that he experienced episodes where he dissociated, but since it’s acute, he had short but severe episodes (no, he’s not out of his mind). In my opinion, he doesn’t take any meds, or he would be discharged from the service. But he probably has periodic sessions with a therapist.

→ Possessing a hyena pet helped him find some balance in his life. For him, it’s like having a common dog, it doesn’t make any difference for him. He always finds it amusing when he uses him to scare Rodion, making him scream like a teenager. That’s how he discovered that Rodion doesn’t like anything that resembles a dog, even if Sputnik is a hyena. And he obviously uses this knowledge to his advantage.

→ He is neither hyposexual nor hypersexual (no, he’s not a pervert either). He actually has a normal relationship with sex and all the things that comes with. He doesn’t like sex without feelings. But if it needs it, he definitely jerks off at night.

→ He prioritize trust above everything, if he’s interested in someone. It will probably take him months to trust someone. Definitely a lot of trust issues, he’s really careful when he meet someone new.

→ Definitely not a religious person. He went through so much in his life that he’s more of a ‘realist’ person. He doesn’t think that there is a god, at all.

→ With the right person, he can be very protective: he has the ‘scary dog privilege’, and no one would definitely mess around with a masked big guy all dressed in black (most of the times).

→ He’s a reserved person and he appreciate the silence, especially if someone respect his own silence. Conversations with him can lead to a whole bunch of different topics at a deep level, and he loves when someone actually understand what he’s saying. He has a lot of knowledge and he used to read a lot of books, especially when he was a teen, and even more growing up and when he was recovering from his trauma. He still reads, and when he isn’t going to be deployed in a short time, he reads a lot during the night.

→ His trauma led him to a lot of insomnia, and a lot of nightmares when he actually manage to fall asleep. So, he usually goes for a walk, or he goes training, trying to take his mind off things.

→ Panic attacks are an occurrence, but he learned to acknowledge the symptoms even before it happens. He usually walks back to his room, finding the silence the thing that calms him the most. When he can’t go back to his room, the rest of the team usually has his back, and always managing to work something out. Every time they find a different solution, and that’s what helps him.

→ No one knows his past (and maybe it's better this way). Only Kamarov knows that he had to endure some bad shit back when he was a teenager. I can imagine living his years with her babushka before enlisting in the military. He doesn’t care about his parents since he lived in a toxic environment. Definitely doesn’t talk about it at all.

[exvangelicalrage]

What Is Crooked Cannot Be Straightened

5/29/23

When I started going to therapy for religious trauma, my therapist directed me to Abraham Piper, a rather famous exvangelical and son of John Piper, a famous evangelical fundamentalist. Abraham Piper's TikTok account was interesting, philosophical, and entertaining all at the same time, and many of his ideas hit home with me, as someone who was floundering with the idea of religious trauma, despite it having been nearly 8 years after my Exit. 

One of the tags he used was #abusurdism which I'd never heard of before, and being a curious type of person, I googled it. 

"What is absurdism?"

Of course, as you might expect, I found dozens of articles and reddit threads discussing Albert Camus, existentialism, and meaninglessness.

I was hooked. 

Meaninglessness had been an appealing concept to me since the first time I read Ecclesiastes, the only book of the bible I ever really liked. 

Even now, if you asked me what my favorite book of the bible was, I'd still say Ecclesiastes. When I was young, my reason was that it was beautiful poetry written by a clearly intelligent person who understood the futility of life, and which ended by directing you to trust god. 

Now my reason is because Ecclesiastes breaks christianity. It's like a computer virus. As soon as you run ecclesiastes.exe, blue screen.

In Ecclesiastes, the writer concludes that everything is meaningless, therefore, your best bet is to fear god and follow his commandments (cough *philosophical suicide* cough). The ending offers an easy "skip" button. 

"Fear god!" christian you might think. "Great, that's all I need to know. I was gonna do that anyway."

This answer is good enough until you read that verse in Romans about how you're supposed to study the scriptures. And then you do study them.

As soon as you really begin to look deeply into Ecclesiastes, one key thing leaps out: if everything is meaningless... so is following god and his commandments. That solution the Teacher offers? Just as meaningless as any other solution.

All of christianity centers around one foundational element: the meaning of everything is god.

But if there is no meaning to everything, if god is not the meaning after all... what does that mean for the entirety of the christian religion? 

If you take Ecclesiastes literally, then making the choice to "obey god" is just as meaningless as making a different choice. Even if you choose to "follow god," the method for doing so is meaningless. You could choose to follow the old testament god or the new testament god, you could follow Thor or Allah, you could rename the universe "god" and call it a day—and you get to make up your own "rules" about what following god looks like, and at least philosophically speaking, you're good to go.

Most christians would argue that therefore you must follow the christian scripture, because obviously the bible doesn't contradict itself, because it says so. heh

But this doesn't work. Literally no one follows the scriptures literally. Not even literalists. Because it's impossible. Because the bible doesn't agree with itself about anything.

And even if you find ways to look past all the other contradictions, Ecclesiastes undermines everything else. It puts questions where They don't want questions. It adds flexibility where They don't want flexibility. It adds meaninglessness where They want meaning.

And They can't get rid of Ecclesiastes. Because if They do that, then they're picking and choosing what scripture to follow. And if you can cut and paste Ecclesiastes, then it follows you can cut and paste the rest of the bible, in which case you might as well just throw the whole thing in the trash and start over. 

As far as I can tell, the "best" argument against my interpretation of Ecclesiastes is "no, you're misinterpreting it" which... isn't an argument. The very fact that Ecclesiastes demands interpretation in order to "fit" with the rest of christianity, means that I can interpret it however the hell I want.

And I choose to interpret it as an exploration of the meaninglessness of everything that ultimately undermines the whole of christianity.

When faced with ultimate meaninglessness, some people choose to avail themselves of the pleasures of life. Some people choose to work. Some people choose to find meaning in the mundane. Some people create their own meaning. Some people (like Solomon) choose to follow god and obey the king. And some people simply... accept meaninglessness.

And this is the heart of absurdism: choosing to accept meaninglessness as a fact of life, rather than fighting against it, trying to fix it, or trying to solve it.

Everything is meaningless. Utterly meaningless.

Including Ecclesiastes.

Everything is meaningless and that’s okay. Not only is it okay, it's good. Because acceptance often brings peace, freedom, and joy where there was only cognitive dissonance before.

[spiderfreedom]

i'm not against therapy (though the therapists i've spoken to haven't been very useful or illuminating), but i do think it's often used to individualize what are really societal problems. and a lot of people don't realize that many individual problems are actually societal problems... like here's a conversation I have:

me: i'm lonely and bored

person: how come? you should go hang out with your friends!

me: well my friends are busy a lot of the time. some of us have incompatible work schedules, or they work so much that they're too tired after work to hang. they don't really like talking online that much too. we meet maybe once every one or two months and it's nice, but i crave a sense of community

person: you need to put yourself out there! go to clubs! volunteer!

me: i go to events when i'm not tired and when i have the social energy, but there aren't as many as there used to be because of the pandemic. many people are nice, but i don't see a long term friendship forming due to lack of compatibility. i've already done the thing where i have a 'friend' who's nice but we don't have much in common, and it's actually even worse than not having any friends at all.

person: you need to stop being picky! what are you, a snob? an elitist? do you think you're better than other people? everyone has an interesting story to tell!

me: i'm sure that's true, but i don't think everyone can or should be my friend. i'm looking for people who i actively enjoy being around and who also like me. i think it's better to be selective and not waste other people's time and energy instead of leading them on.

person: so you're too lazy to hang out with your friends, too lazy to go to new events, and too snobbish to meet new people. sounds like a personal problem!

me: i think the problem is a society where work is expected to take most of your day, where jobs are spread over the city far from residential areas so people are stuck in commutes without public transit, where the city itself is so sprawling that we end up far and isolated from each other, and where the pandemic has decimated previously vibrant scenes, making it harder to find people we may vibe with. many of these problems are structural and not individual. the fact that my friends report having similar feelings tells me this is not my personal failing

OK so obviously this is a fake convo put together from others, but notice how it's always assumed you're not doing enough. The problem is you, by default. I understand that you are the only thing you have control over, but sometimes you do the best you can and things still don't work out. Sometimes you need coping mechanisms for a shitty situation. Therapized interactions assume there is always a solution and in this case, there may not be one, unless you want to give me and my friends millions of dollars to be able to relocate near each other and not have to work for a living?

And while in this example the structural problem is urbanism and capitalism, it's even worse for feminist issues. Like if you complain about sexism in movies, you're encouraged to reframe your thoughts to view whatever happened as empowering... If you actually do it, it saps any political will out of you.

[looye29]

Urinary Incontinence, the medical term used for loss of bladder control, is quite a common problem for women and men, and even more so for new mothers. Over 200 million people worldwide suffer from this problem, and a majority of them are women. While it isn’t a disease as much as a minor disfunction, not having control of your bladder is a concern that certainly needs to be addressed.    The symptoms can range from having a minor leakage when you laugh or sneeze to having to run to a bathroom out of urgency and seldom reach the distance. Loss of bladder control and peeing yourself in public is obviously embarrassing, making you feel low. It definitely drains out self-confidence. The good news is that the problem can be easily addressed with minor lifestyle changes, exercise, and medical treatment. If you are looking for an alternate natural remedy to correct accidental leakage issues, the Pelvic Floor Strong product is a good option. Here I give you an in-depth, unbiased review of the product available exclusively via the ClickBank marketplace.   What is Pelvic Floor Strong Created by Alex Miller, Pelvic Floor Strong is an online fitness program that helps you strengthen your pelvic muscles to alleviate your leakage woes. It enables you to regain bladder control with specific upper body exercises. Alex Miller is a fitness instructor and women's health specialist from Canada. Her story is inspiring, and the Pelvic Floor Strong is a result of her mother's and her fight with Urinary Incontinence. She is a renowned instructor with many students, many of whom are chiropractors, therapists, athletes, and celebrities. She is also certified in TRX, treadmill interval running, and mat Pilates. The combination of Miller’s qualifications and her personal experience that inspired the Pelvic Floor Strong is what really seems to work for this program. How does it work The Pelvic Floor is a facet of muscles that embrace your bladder, uterus, and bowels. When these muscles relax, it makes way for us to pee or poop (pass urine or have a bowel movement). When the floor contracts, it stops the flow of urine, stools, and gas. Some of the reasons that weaken our pelvic muscles are ‘layer syndrome,’ an imbalance existing in the core of your abdominal muscles, often caused due to improper breathing; and diastasis recti, the separation of your middle abdominal region usually caused post-pregnancy due to the muscles not healing back together.    Now the fitness program provided by Miller strengthens these muscles and alleviates you from accidental leaking, layer syndrome, diastasis recti, lower back, hip, and pelvic pain. The exercises are extremely easy to perform and are suitable for women of all ages. You may be surprised to know that the movements involve your upper body, which has been the cause all along. For one, I was taken aback when I learned that specific arm exercises could help regulate urine control! The program also educates you on the many harmful things we are doing that affect our pelvic region. This is essential information that is usually hidden from mainstream medicine. While the program prevents you from further destroying your body and risking yourself to more serious problems in the future, it provides effective solutions - exercises that are easy to do and need no additional resources. Pros The Pelvic Floor Strong has several benefits. Here are some I really liked: Easy to do exercises suitable for all age groups. Easy to understand and learn the course.   Quick response solution for the problem which works almost overnight.    The exercises strengthen your pelvic muscle and alleviate not only urinary Incontinence but also diastasis recti, lower back, and hip pain. It aids in belly flattening.     Negates the need to go through expensive surgeries, harmful medication, and temporary solutions such as pads, diapers, etc.   Educates you on the wrongdoings such as Kegels and other exercises that aren’t for everyone.

This is very beautifully explained using the rubber band analogy on the website.   Provides a natural and mindful remedy to the problem of urinary Incontinence. Provides complete remedy to pelvic strengthening, which is great for better orgasms, better bowel movements, and overall wellbeing. There is a one-time fee for full access, and there are no upsells.   Committing to the program is extremely easy for everyone as it doesn't take up too much of your time, and you can do them from almost anywhere. The techniques are designed seeking inspiration from renowned physical therapists and experiential learning.   A money-back guarantee is provided in case this doesn't work for you within 60 days. Cons For any fitness courses, there are, of course, a few disadvantages. For the Pelvic Floor Strong program, they are: Some of these exercises cannot be performed by everybody.  You will have to purchase the course to gain access to most information.  Until you decide to buy the course and pay up, you will not be sure of what exercises you need to do. Final verdict The Pelvic Floor Strong is a great way to fix Urinary Incontinence using a natural and convenient method of exercise. The act of exercising can be tiresome and difficult at first, but it is important that you try. It is also crucial to be aware that there are many exercises and programs out there, few of which are good, and many are not. Try the Pelvic Floor String program before you fall prey to wrong advice, expensive surgeries, and consume toxic medications, which may lead to side effects. Even if it doesn't work for you, it is backed by a money-back guarantee, so you can always claim a refund.   I would rate this program a 4 out of 5 stars - The positives being the legitimacy, quick response, pricing and payment policies, and benefits of the program. A minus 1 star for the reason being that the exercises might not be doable by all and you will have to pay to find out.  

[fizznsyrup]

(Trigger Warning ⚠️, this chapter contains depictions of s3lf harm and su/cidal behavior)

III.

"Hey," Leslie's eyes blinked open. "I'll be honest, I closed my eyes, but I wasn't sleeping. Couldn't"

"Great, I was bored filling out paperwork anyway." I smiled.

Leslie got up and walked over to the doorway. And sat by me, on the floor.

    "Did I tell you my birthday is in a week?"

    "Well, I kind of already knew," I grinned. "It's on the paperwork, and your wristband, and on the computer when I give you your meds."

. . .

    "Well, I kind of already knew," Sasha smirked. She paused for a moment, and glanced at me. As if to see if she said something wrong.

     "It's on the paperwork, and your wristband, and on the computer when I give you your meds," Sasha proceeded to explain herself.

Darn. I thought. She paid attention to that?

    We stood in silence. I stared at the floor, listening to the white noise of patients snoring, nurses whispering at the station. And the one I focused on most, Sasha's breath.

    I looked up, to see her do that one finger tapping grounding technique, staring into nothing.

    "Hey, Sasha," I whispered, raspier than intended. I looked at her eyes switch from gawking at the floor, to looking at me. Intense eye contact, I must say.

'    I made out my sentence, "Do you like me?"

    Oh my God. Why did I make it sound like that??? I don't know what she's thinking right now. Although I know she's confused.

    "What? What do you mean? You're my patient. We're in a psychiatric hospital. I can't, like, like you. That's really weird. And unethic–" Sasha started muttering to herself, words I couldn't make out. She was obviously weirded out and baffled, my question was painfully unclear.

    "Chill out," I tried to shut her up. "What I meant was, do you see me as a friend?"

    Sasha exhaled. Her lips, chapped and plump, thinned into a soft smile. She took a moment to start speaking.

    When she did, she chuckled a bit when she murmured, "Of course I do."

    I grew conscious of the thought, and the reality. That I couldn't change these conditions, and the environment we were in. I could only acknowledge. Becoming friends with Sasha, it wouldn't be so good on either of our lives. Her career. Or my health.

But I just couldn't help it.    

. . .

I've always thought that the concept of therapy was stupid. I mean, what's someone telling you to "use skills" and "process things" going to do? Sure, it may work for some people, but I just never saw the positive effects. I didn't seem to get it. So, I became an MHA to try to understand.

Now that I think about it, I really just wasn't trying. I never wanted to get better. I never wanted to give it a shot. So I didn't. Everything they told me, everything I tried to do—although I really didn't—I never let it in. Three years of my life were spent in intense therapy. The therapists I had always ended up letting me go. I was hopeless, they would say. Yet, I'm still alive. How does that work?

Simple. Live for others, not myself. Of course it's an unhealthy way to live, but it worked. I mean, it might only be a temporary solution, but if it's enough to get to experience love, it's worth it.

(This is the part that deals with SH)

I walked back to room 3014, and plopped myself onto my bed. The sheets rough and dry, floor cold beneath my grip socks. I wrapped my arms around my waist, willing my body to disappear. I'm hopeless, I thought. That's what everyone says. I rolled over, only to get a face full of wrinkly, plastic pillow. I'd just finished my lunch. They hadn't checked for the plastic cutlery that day because there was an intern MHA. New, possibly. I snuck a plastic fork into my bra when no one was watching. Perfect, I smirked. No one could stop me from doing this. I'd find a way somehow. And now I had.

I pulled the fork out of my shirt and grasped it firmly. My lifeline. Some might say "death-line". I snapped it in half. Both edges jagged and misshapen. I got up and shoved the bathroom door—a flap of plastic, which was made to be 'safe'—open. The shower curtains were an off-white, sink a spotty pearl, and walls an obnoxious yellow. Who would ever want to live after spending  twenty-seven days in isolation from society?

I dropped one half of the fork into the sink and walked into the shower. I started rubbing the plastic on the metal corner, sharpening it. When I was satisfied with the product I had created, I looked it over and smiled. Sure it wasn't much, but it'd get the job done.

I shoved the contraband into the paper towels and walked out of my room to scope out for any MHAs. They were busy doing check-ins. Perfect. I slipped back into my bathroom and unveiled the object. I placed the sharp end down onto the inner side of my arm, and I sliced.

[watercolorfreckles]

An idea:

Hero and Villain going to the same therapist but don’t know about the other. The therapist knows both of their secret identities obviously and has to deal with them complaining about each other separately

Bonus scene:

Villain finds out that therapist knows Hero’s secret identity and tries to trick the therapist into revealing Hero (can be flirting, snooping in the office, etc)

Btw, I think you’re doing fantastic with your writing! I honestly can’t believe you haven’t written in so long— your recent work flowed perfectly. Thank you for sharing your talent for writing on tumblr!!! Also I just realized how long this ask is sorry I didn’t mean to overwhelm you lol

Answering my first ask (((finally)). I'm kinda nervous lol! Thank you so much for the sweet words, @glowing-alpaca (it wont let me tag you), that makes me so happy to hear. I'm not sure if this is exactly what you pictured, but this is the direction my brain wanted to go lol I haven't written anything based specifically on someone's request before so I really hope you like this!!

"Villain?"

The villain blinked and Doctor Meadows' office came back into focus. He shook his head slightly to dispel the thoughts nagging his attention.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked whether you gave what we spoke about last week a try? We talked about finding productive ways to express your negative emotions." Her voice was soft and void of judgment. "You have a creative mind, have you tried anything that has seemed to help you so far?"

Villain's gaze followed the curve of her pen as the therapist jotted a note down on her notepad.

"How can I possibly be productive when that fool in colored spandex is always barging in, getting in my way? What am I supposed to do, mm? Throw some pottery at him?"

The therapist's hands folded in her lap. "Even if you can't control the situation in the moment, you can still find ways to better prepare yourself, then you'll be equipped to process the aftermath in a healthy way. You can't keep Hero from doing things that act as triggers for you, but you can implement some techniques to control yourself better."

Villain scoffed. "What, you want me to try soaking with a bath bomb, sing kumbaya? Nothing will change until that cockroach is out of my way."

Despite the chill to his voice, doctor Meadow's expression was warm and gentle as she regarded him. She was much more sincere than the cold and demeaning therapists he'd met with at the previous facility he'd tried; or the doctor who cowered in fear when he showed up to his first appointment.

"I am confident that with time and effort, we can find a solution that will help you, villain. But you have to put your best foot forward. You have to invest enough in yourself to sow the desired outcome." Doctor Meadows held his gaze without fear, kind eyes and soft smile settling his restless energy.

She always had a way of snuffing out the tension that corded through him and wound him tight.

They had a connection, and Meadows seemed genuine in her care for him. Sometimes he even wondered if she felt more for him than that.

Villain huffed and glanced around the room, taking in the colorful artwork on the walls, the comforting throw rugs, pillows with silly inspiring catchphrases, and soft furnishings making the space feel inviting. He found it far more disarming than the sterile white, desolate offices he'd visited before.

The therapist continued after allowing him a moment of quiet to consider her words. "I understand that we are a ways away from you being in a place where you feel comfortable giving up your...occupation. I believe that we can work our way there, but for now, we have to take steps to minimize your destructive behavior. The intent behind your actions is the key to why you are compelled to do the things that you do. If we start there, we can make changes that are healthier for you and those around you. What things best calm you and make you feel grounded?"

You, he thought, but didn't say.

"Chaos," he said instead, dazzling her with a sharp smile. He crossed his legs, leaning back on the plush lilac couch.

Doctor Meadows didn't flinch. "So when you feel like your life and personal environment are no longer in your control, it comforts you to inflict that same helplessness on other people? To help you feel less alone."

Villain stared at her. Anyone else would have run and hidden at the look on his face.

Doctor Meadows waited patiently for his response. "Do you feel that that is a correct assesment?" she prompted.

Villain straightened to lean forward in his seat. When he spoke, his voice was low. "What gives you that impression?"

"When Mr. Ma--" her eyes widened as she cut herself off, correcting herself, "--when [Hero's superhero name] isn't around, you--"

"What did you say?"

For once, the therapist's blood ran cold at her mistake. "Pardon?"

Villain braced his hands on the table between them, slowly rising to his feet. He towered over her. "Hero. You know his name. Tell me his name."

Doctor Meadows pursed her lips. "I can't do that, Villain. Doctor-patient confidentiality states--"

"--He's your patient," Villain interrupted again, his smile something too sweet, too manic, to be sincere. Like poison.

The therapist tracked his movements while still looking steady and unshaken.

"Doctor Meadows. Juliet. You want to help me, don't you?" he purred, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "If I knew who he was, I could solve all my problems. Not to hurt him, just to keep him out of my way."

His fingers trailed up her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps on her skin. She shuddered in a soft breath, a blush creeping over her cheeks.

"I am not at liberty to share my patient's information. You should be grateful that I don't share yours."

"Sweetheart, let's not pretend I'm just any client." Villain gently took the pencil and notepad out of her hands, setting them aside. Their gazes interlocked.

"Villain--"

"Juliet," he countered, voice honeyed. His free hand landed at the small of her back and he could feel a shiver run through her.

"Villain," she said, tone giving no room to argue. "If you are not willing to respect my rules and the policies I am required to follow, I will be forced to transfer you elsewhere."

He paused at that. The silence stretched. Could he stomach losing her? His therapist, his Juliet, the only person who came close to understanding him?

How dare she threaten to abandon him?

Finally, she shifted slightly under the dangerous look he studied her with.

"Villain. Do you understand?"

Slowly, he lowered himself back into his seat. He clenched his hands at his sides.

She smiled again, and it looked like home. "Good. Take a deep breath. Let's try a few new exercises together to help you manage your emotions."

Part 2

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[fairycosmos]

my therapist got frustrated with me because ive "given up". like excuse me but what the fuck do they expect when 1. youve been mentally ill and suicidal since childhood 2. youre poor 3. the world keeps getting more fucked up every day. getting a job and going outside is her solution to all that apparently, why dont they understand how fucked everything is lol

ugh so so sorry to hear that :/ it's weird that they'd get frustrated with you over this. as if everything you've been through isn't extremely disenfranchising and exhausting like. ppl can only take so much and wanting to give up isn't a fkn crime or unusual for mentally ill ppl at all, esp poor mentally ill people living under this system. they really should be equipped to deal with it better. obviously it's their job to encourage you and to try to help you function in the world too but man - that must've been so disheartening and just overall unhelpful to hear. tbh i can not stand therapists who act like getting a job is the cure to everything when it is quite literally not. like it can actually sometimes exacerbate existing mental health issues, and no matter what situation a mentally ill person finds themselves in, their illness is always going to present new challenges. bad therapists hate admitting that i think.

you can just really tell when a mental health professional isn't trying to help you truly work things out, cant u? when they're just trying to help you look like you know how to live in society the "correct" way. there's no acknowledgement of how fucked everything is, and that can feel so invalidating. i think a lot of people working in mental health don't want to admit that there's actually a ton of external and wide- scale problems making ppl mentally unwell right now. that it is complex, and painful. that it not just always a matter of a chemical imbalance, or taking some pills or having a few sessions with a therapist and moving on. i really feel for u and again im sorry you have to put up with this. if you feel like you need to connect with a new therapist or communicate to ur current one that theyre not meeting your needs, i would really encourage that. i know it's utterly exhausting and unfair but at the end of the day you deserve to be be understood. and you deserve to not have ur time money energy etc wasted by someone who thinks cosplaying a good little capitalist is the answer to such intensive and deeply rooted hurt. sending u sm love rn. x

[mr-entj]

Hello Mr. ENTJ 👋🏻 ENTP girl here. Like any other Ne-dom I have major struggles with discipline and commitment. This ended up, obviously, screwing my life and I have no idea what to do. I have problems figuring out what career should I choose, and this is depressing me because I'm ambitious and would like to find my place and succeed. What advise do you have on discipline? Or on how to stick with something even when is not fun all the time? I know that for us is very difficult and that maybe an advise for others might not work so good with us (our brain is programmed to jump from one topic to another) but is there anything you know that could help with this?

Sorry for the long ask, and thank you so much.

(ps: I have depression, which I'm already working on with proper help. But discipline related to study/work and goals is something I still haven't found an answer)

Related answer:

Hello! I've been trying to be better about procrastination, because I realize how detrimental it can be, not only to myself, but also to other people in group project situations. Do you have any tips on pacing comfortably or figuring out how to have an equal amount of school work each night?

Hey there. Full disclosure before I go into procrastination: I don’t procrastinate, I’ve never struggled with it, and throughout my life I’ve done everything in my power to avoid procrastinating for reasons we’ll skip because they aren’t relevant to your ask. For that reason, I struggle to answer questions around this topic because I have limited personal perspective and my default response tends to be: “Don’t wait, suck it up, and get it done.” Plus, what works for my personality type may not work for yours.

The good news is that I have extremely brilliant and insanely accomplished colleagues and direct reports with your personality type who have found ways to manage procrastination. Here are some of the solutions we’ve come up with and they’ve used that’ve worked which may be helpful for you and others.

Managing procrastination for xNTPs (applicable to xSTPs)

1. Choose goals you’re excited about. This should be inherently obvious but it’s actually a common problem. Do you even want to achieve the thing you’re trying to achieve? If not, achieving it will be an uphill battle from start to finish. Here’s my framework to get you started.

2. Fail early and fail fast. High Ne users need to explore possibilities before they can make a decision so explore them early and move on. Do you want to study art or music? Take both classes, now. Remove the question mark.

3. Create an external support system. Go talk to other people about your goals: friends, colleagues, classmates, family members, mentors, and have them keep you on track. Even better, get a therapist if that’s an option. You mentioned depression and that you’re working on it which is great, keep your mental health up. Set up weekly, bi-weekly, monthly check-ins with them to measure progress. This helps with two things: 1) it pulls your goals out of your mind and into reality by speaking it into existence (as an intuitive, this is a constant struggle) and 2) it creates a system to keep you accountable to those goals especially if you’re not making progress. Ask for help if you need it.

4. Get a mentor. Find successful people who are where you want to be that you want to emulate. Talk to them, ask them questions, and keep them close. If you don’t know anyone like that, then research them online, watch videos, read books, and study their thought processes and habits. This helps because you’ll be able to see that someone has already walked the path you’re on and it’s completely achievable. You need to be able to see the result, not just imagine it in your head. The second benefit is that you’ll be able to check your internal logic against external facts. Are you doing what you’re supposed to be doing to succeed? Is your method actually feasible? If not, what facts from other successful people contradict your logic? Compare, analyze, adjust, and adapt.

5. Choose your friends wisely. Most people are influenced by their environment and their social groups, but xxTPs are especially vulnerable to social influence due to having extraverted feeling (Fe). If you’re trying to become a neurosurgeon but your friends are playing Fortnite 14 hours per day, then you’ll feel a strong pull to do the same thing they’re doing. For this reason, you don’t need to cut them off, but you’ll need to distance yourself from people who are interfering with your ability to do deep work. Set expectations with them: “I can game on weekends only for 2-3 hours” and enforce those boundaries. Then, add new friends to your social circle who have similar goals as you.

6. Work in groups. There’s a quote: “Many hands make for light work.” If you’re studying for an exam, then study with other people. Schedule a study group where everyone is expected to contribute notes to review and discuss. Global pandemic? Schedule a Zoom studying session. This accomplishes a few things: 1) it distributes the burden of crappy tasks and dense material among many people to become more manageable 2) it checks your logic and understanding of the material to ensure it’s accurate 3) it creates external accountability as covered in #1 and 4) it builds relationships with other people who may have similar goals as you and who may become part of your lifelong network. In general, xNTPs struggle with self-imposed deadlines and internal discipline but they tend to respond better when there’s a risk of letting other people down.

7. Break large goals into small chunks. Self-explanatory. Take a large goal like becoming a doctor which can take 10+ years (4 years of undergrad, 4 years of medical school, 2+ years of residency) and break it down into smaller goals like 1) master biology 101, master chemistry 101, etc. 2) get a research lab position studying something you find interesting 3) talk to some physicians in the specialty that you’re interested in 4) complete a few MCAT classes, etc. Small wins build confidence, increase momentum, and create gratification. 

8. Burn all bridges. xNTPs are masters of creative excuses and you must destroy all possible escape routes that can be used to get out of doing the tasks you must do. If you’re trying to get into better physical shape, then sign a non-refundable gym membership so that you’ll lose your money if you don’t go. If you’re trying to be more consistent with studying at the library, then volunteer to drive your study group so that you’ll let them down if you don’t drive. If you’re distracted by television, then sell your TV and cut your cable subscription. If you’re addicted to Tumblr, then delete your account. 

9. Summon the procrastination demon-- early. You know the demon I’m talking about, it’s the one that comes out right before a deadline that chases you to finish your work. Summon it yourself. Have you been wanting to write a book? Send out invitations to your friends and family to schedule a reading.

10. Show off. When you accomplish something, talk about it with other people. Share your knowledge, teach a class, write an online post, and distribute that wisdom to other people. It creates an added layer of gratification from your success.

[flying-elliska]

Headcanons for ADHD characters Masterlist

I was asked for this a while ago and I feel this is a good discussion subject because the canon representation for ADHD is kind of abysmal and is often a caricature or a joke.

usual disclaimer, I'm not a therapist, this is not a diagnosis tool, just for fun, etc etc...basing this on my own experience/knowledge with ADHD and meeting a lot of ADHD people IRL. I'm going off the main symptoms first (inattention and/or hyperactivity, restlessness, impulsivity, problems with emotional/focus regulation, daydreaming, messiness, hyper-focus, fidgeting etc) and then looking at character traits that are not a necessary symptom but often associated (substance abuse and addiction, need to please, sensitivity to rejection, compassionate and creative, thrill seeking, very imaginative, charming and witty or withdrawn and shy or angry and irritable, whimsical and fun and a bit child-like, out of the box thinker, self esteem issues, unstable life, comorbidity with anxiety and depression, very intense feelings, functions better with adrenaline/in an emergency, disregard for rules and problems with authority OR extreme compliance, codependency, perceived as weird, clever in an atypical way, problems in school, extremely good at one specific thing, etc)

Also I found this list with actual canonical representation

BOOKS :

The 'fits to a T so I'm seeing it as my personal canon' list :

note : doesn't mean that the authors actually meant to create representation but it's very likely they at least got inspired by people who did have ADHD (even when the diagnosis itself did not exist) and explained it with 'it's just their personality' OR the story happens in a setting where the label doesn't exist as such. also not meant to be exhaustive.

- Helen Burns (from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë) One of Jane's school friends from the start of the novel, fits the inattentive type to a T : she can't seem to focus or learn her lessons, is constantly daydreaming, describes herself as messy and careless, forgets rules, and is easily distracted. She talks constantly about her own 'defective nature' and seems very sensitive to criticism but incapable of changing. She doesn't defend herself against the nuns' harsh punishments as she thinks she deserves them. She's presented as kind-hearted and compassionate, almost too good for this world, and hyperfocuses on her faith. Apparently sb even wrote an academic article on this. She dies so it's not super fun representation but it is interesting to see in an older book, to push back against the idea that ADHD was invented yesterday by Big Pharma lol.

- Grantaire (from Les Miserables, Victor Hugo) Part of the student revolutionary group Les Amis de l'ABC and resident skeptic, does not believe in the cause but is fixated on the group's idealistic leader (and yeah it sounds very gay, they die holding hands, there is a lot of Symbolism). He spends his time ranting about things that are only vaguely connected, is described as brilliant but incapable of sticking to any one profession or hobby, is an alcoholic, has a creative streak (was a painter at some point), likes wandering around the city, has massive self-esteem issues and is a general mess but does seem to care about his friends. This is not a very flattering portrayal as Grantaire is described as morally deficient but again, interesting in an old book. ADHD!Grantaire is a popular take in the modern fandom (i was in it before I was diagnosed it brought up a lot of Things) and it's very cathartic to see him get actual therapy in fic lmao.

- Luna Lovegood (from the Harry Potter series) JKR sucks but this is probably the most high profile case of a possible inattentive ADHD character so I didn't want to leave it out. She's a daydreamer, she is a big space cadet and seems to live in her own world, she has a very out of the ordinary sense of style, she's bullied for being weird, but she's also very kind and perceptive and cares a lot about her friends, and good at coming up with out of the box solutions. I wouldn't call it good representation, she's described as a wacko whom a lot of characters find cringeworthy but she's also pretty heroic, so. And she does seem to hyperfocus on magical creatures. Plus her father could also have it (and it runs in families).

- Jasper Fahey (from Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo) Part of a young group of thieves with a heart of gold, he's a charmer and a compulsive gambler who quits college and incurs debts so massive he stops talking to his father out of shame. He's also an extremely talented sharpshooter and the scenes where he describes how the whole world slows and the rush of adrenaline when he is shooting sound like hyperfocus to a T. He's a loyal friend but also quite dependent on Kaz, the leader of the group, to keep him in line. He's witty, messy and he likes danger. His boyfriend later in the series, Wylan, is dyslexic and the way they learn to accommodate each other's issues honestly makes them one of my favorite couples ever. I need to reread these books and I am so stoked for the series I hope they do Jasper justice.

- Julian Diaz (from Cemetary Boys, Aiden Thomas) Love interest of the book, introduced as the 'high school resident bad boy', energetic motormouth who can't sit still and actually very endearing, has issues in school and gets bored easily, main problem is that he's a ghost...sort of. The whole thing was very cute and I love that Julian's personality is described as fun and attractive instead of annoying (which is, if you haven't noticed already, a pattern).

- Evie O'Neill (from the Diviners series, Libba Bray) She's a flapper in 1920s New York who ran away from her boring little town to make a life for herself ; she's a party girl and an impulsive thrill-seeker who hates standing still and is always looking for excitement to 'fill the void'. She craves fame and attention and pretty things, she can be a loyal friend but is also frequently self-centered and forgetful, she's street smart, resourceful and very charming and witty. She's also grieving, drinks too much and is definitely depressed. She's obviously meant as an archetype of the era, caught between trauma and excess, but it does come over as very hyperactive ADHD as well. Her powers to read objects also really pinged me as a good metaphor for the ADHD tendency to be overwhelmed by details.

The 'bit more of a reach but there's a vibe' list :

- Emma Woodhouse (from Emma, Jane Austen) Frequently cited as a character with ADHD, I didn't come up with this one but she fits. She's daydreaming, easily bored, has flights of fancy and hyper-focuses on matchmaking, is a bit impulsive and thrill seeking, clever in an unconventional way, described as a bit immature, mix of caring and self-centered.

- Ronan Lynch (from the Raven Cycle, Maggie Stiefvater) Ronan just has Neuroatypical Vibes, even though it's not entirely clear what, and I've seen people label him all sorts of things which is very valid. As for ADHD, he's restless, impulsive, likes to Go Fast and do street racing, he has very strong emotions he doesn't know what to do with, and big self esteem issues esp. at the start, is very all or nothing with people, snarky, drops out of school to be a magic farmer, problems with authority, looks like a scary mean goth but is actually a big softie (but like, with a few people), pulls shit out of his dreams. Is kind of dependent on his best friend at the start too.

- Sherlock Holmes (from the eponymous series by Arthur Conan Doyle) Again a character who has been diagnosed with all sorts of things. The biggest ADHD vibe for me is 'my mind rebels at stagnation' and the way he needs drugs to function outside of the thrill of a case, and the way he hyper-focuses on information he needs to be a detective while completely ignoring common knowledge. Also sort of dependent on his best friend Watson and isn't great at social interactions. Doesn't care much about upholding social conventions either. The RDJ adaptation is the one that has the most ADHD vibes to me.

- Harley Quinn (DC Comics/Movies) Big codependency issues (that's arguably the thing she's most known for) and sadly people with ADHD are often prone to getting into abusive relationships. It depends on the story too but she's very energetic, zany, impulsive, she likes shiny things and bright clothes, she's fun and chaotic and likes to break the rules, she's a criminal but she does seem to have a heart, she's also frequently immature and rash, etc.

What are your headcanons ? I would love to hear if you have some so I can add them to the list. I'll make a TV/Movies list soon.

[knickynoo]

In harborage, how did the conversation between George and Doc go, when George called Doc, concerned about Marty’s mental health. What concerns were brought up and what solutions were brought up?

Hey, thanks for checking out the fic! Here are the deets on George and Doc's secret phone call, which I'll put under a cut due to length.

So, I imagine George waited to make the call until all the kids, Marty especially, were out of the house. He'd thought about calling in the previous weeks but knew Doc was busy with his big move, plus he and Lorraine were trying really hard to convince themselves that they could handle the situation on their own. But when Marty was invited to stay the weekend at Doc's new place, George decided it was as good a time as any to call and fill him in.

The conversation started with small talk, but Doc could obviously tell something was wrong and that there was a bigger reason for George's call. George was kind of vague at first, simply asking Doc if he'd noticed any changes in Marty lately, mood and behavior-wise. Doc, unsure of exactly what George was getting at and simply going off of what he'd observed in his own interactions with his friend, responded equally as vaguely. Yes, Marty seemed a little tired lately, perhaps more stressed than usual--why did he ask? Was something more going on?

And George was just like. Um...YEAH.

The two of them stayed on the phone for a long while as George laid everything out and ran through the (many) worries he and Lorraine had. Marty was just...different. He'd always been a little anxious and high-strung, but it was like a switch had flipped overnight. George noted that Marty, who was generally quite happy and close with all of them, suddenly felt a million miles away. He was completely disconnected--from the family, from school, from everything.

Marty didn't seem to want to be home. If he was, he stayed in his room and when he couldn't be there, during meals and such, he seemed antsy and eager to leave. There'd be hours each day that Marty was just out and about in town, walking, skateboarding, sometimes even going for runs. And neither George nor Lorraine understood how he had the energy to do that considering the fact that he was barely sleeping. They heard him up at all hours of the night, and he just looked exhausted. Yet, he seemed to put off going to bed as long as possible and when he did, he sometimes kept a light on. Whether it was a bad case of insomnia or something else, George didn't know, but he did bring up the night he found Marty in the hallway after the boy had had a nightmare. Something about him (George) being killed. And though just a dream, it had clearly upset Marty. It was like it had actually happened. He hadn't seen him that upset over a nightmare since Marty was very young.

There was more, of course. Marty was just generally in a funk. Quiet and sort of apathetic, even when it came to things that usually made him happy. He wanted to be out of the house, but at the same time, he was clingy--wanted to know where everyone was, when they'd be back, and seemed upset in the moments someone was late arriving home. Certain things made him agitated: gunshots on tv, storms, the whistle of a train, even.

Plus, there was that night he had disappeared. George talked about how he had gone to check that Marty was in bed, only to find his son gone. He hadn't known Marty to sneak out of the house, and given all that had been happening, he and Lorraine were scared. When he finally made his way back home, they were so relieved to see him that they couldn't even be angry.

George then told Doc that they just didn't know what was happening or what to do about it. Marty didn't want to talk--insisted that he was okay despite it being glaringly obvious to the whole family that he wasn't. He and Lorraine had spent countless nights awake, trying to backtrack and pinpoint some sort of catalyst that may have caused such a change in Marty, but they came up empty. They did, however, feel guilty and partly responsible. Perhaps they should have addressed the mild anxiety Marty displayed as a kid--maybe they waited too long and it had now snowballed out of control. Maybe they had put too much pressure on him school-wise, and that, combined with all the other responsibilities he faced as an almost-adult, had proven too much for him and he was having some sort of breakdown. Or maybe something terrible had happened that they had no clue about.

Whatever the case, something obviously had to be done. Things weren't getting better, and they were scared for him. Marty had protested and fought them when they had at one point casually brought up seeing a therapist, but they'd recently decided it was no longer up for negotiation (though Marty didn't know that yet). And, of course, George also hoped that Doc might be able to help. He knew how close Marty was to the man--that he trusted him and likely shared things with him that even himself and Lorraine didn't know. So, he asked if Doc could maybe speak to him. Try to get him to open up about whatever it was that was going on. It was clear that Marty needed all the support he could get, and George figured it would help if they were all on the same page.

Doc, while obviously very overwhelmed at what he'd just been told and upset that he hadn't been able to see how bad things were, assured George that he would absolutely do his best to help Marty. He said that things wouldn't be fixed in a weekend even if Marty talked to him, but they would figure things out. And he thanked George for reaching out and letting him know what had been going on because Marty was obviously putting on a fairly decent act when they were together. He'd known things were a little off, but never imagined just how deeply it ran.

When all was said and done, George felt better having Doc in the loop. He knew that Marty was looking forward to his weekend at the Brown house and trusted that his son would be safe. Doc, on the other hand, ended the phone call feeling incredibly stressed and guilty. He wallowed in it for a while, but then focused his attention on preparing for the weekend ahead. He had a feeling it would be an eventful one.

And that was pretty much what went down. Thanks for the ask!

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 11

First

Previous

Next

Rena was running out of time.

(To make TikToks. She wasn’t dying for anything except content.)

She’d figured that she would do Q&A type things, it was close enough to the content she’d used to make but far enough away that no one would suspect anything about her identity. It was perfect!

But the other heroes were… let’s say ‘less than eager’ to divulge much information to her. Especially not when they were being filmed.

Ladybug had pulled her aside one day to explain why.

“Rena…” She reached out and gently rested a hand on her shoulder.

Rena knew what that meant, she’d gotten it enough back when she was just a civilian. For just a second, she was thrown back to the first time one of her family members had died, to the way she had promised that she wouldn’t come back until she had her sister safely in her arms...

But she knew that it couldn’t be like that. Ladybug didn’t know who she was just like Rena didn’t know her identity. It was nothing that serious.

“We can’t give much information to the public. Hawkmoth could be watching.”

A fair point. It hurt, though.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “So we don’t show him our weaknesses, it’s not that hard.”

“We have to assume any information could be used against us.”

Rena frowned. “By that logic we can’t upload any content…?”

“We can’t upload any content of substance, no. Messing around in a store is fine. Videos of animals are fine. Anything beyond that is… potentially problematic.”

The idea of style over substance was foreign to the hero. Her whole brand used to be substance over style, done with a phone camera but close enough to fights for people to actually get a glimpse of the heroes in action. What was she supposed to do?

“What’s your niche, then?” Said Rena, hoping to get an idea.

“I was going to do some videos on mental and physical wellness.”

Yeah, no. That was a very ‘Ladybug’ thing to do, Rena probably couldn’t encroach on that in any way. But… what else was there?

Ladybug opened her mouth like she was about to say something, and then she shook her head and disappeared to her room.

Rena watched her leave in silence, and then fell back on the couch. She rested her hands over her eyes, something that was very uncomfortable due to the weird fabric of the mask on her face, and tried to think.

Ladybug had been fair. They already had enough of a gap between the information Hawkmoth had versus the amount they did, they shouldn’t make that worse… but then what was the point of them doing social media accounts?

And, she mused, why hadn’t Ladybug just told Master Fu her concerns?

Something wasn’t adding up, but she didn’t exactly know what.

The reporter in her was itching to find out. She didn’t want to invade Ladybug’s privacy, especially not when the other already seemed wary enough around her, but it was hard to just let go…

So, what could she do?

~

She grumbled as she went to Carapace’s room, not even bothering to knock as she walked in. It wouldn’t matter if she did, her miraculous made it so that most people’s eyes and ears slid right over her unless she actively worked to get them to notice her.

He was in his hero costume, though that wasn’t surprising considering he’d gotten back from patrols only a few minutes ago.

Carapace jumped a little in surprise when she came to a stop by his desk and looked up from where he was booting up his computer.

“Salut?” He said slowly.

“Salut! I need help.”

He raised his eyebrows a little and then shrugged. With a tiny wave of his hand, a second chair made of a bunch of different plates appeared behind her.

She took a seat and crossed her legs. “Everyone talks to you, right?”

“I guess…?”

“So do you know what everyone’s doing for their TikTok accounts?”

“I’m going to get footage of us acting friendly, Chat is filming animals he sees on patrols, Ladybug is ‘promoting mental and physical wellness’, and Chloe…” He sucked in a breath. “I don’t know what Chloe’s doing, but she started laughing maniacally when I asked so I’m not eager to find out.”

Rena pouted a little bit. Great, so everyone’s taken all the good and easy ideas. What else was there?

“I don’t know what to do with my account. Ladybug says I can’t do interviews and stuff because Hawkmoth could use stuff against us.”

Carapace briefly looked confused, and then understanding crossed his face. “Well, I can tell you that no one here would disagree with that.”

“I know, I know, it makes sense,” she sulked, resting her head on her hand. “But then what do I do?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Being the ‘smart one’ is kind of your thing.”

She frowned at that, but brushed past it. “I don’t really care about my image, it’s not that important to me --.”

“It should be.”

Her gaze shot up to see his expression was uncharacteristically serious.

He seemed to realize this, too, because he cleared his throat and brought a smile to his face again.

“I know you’re new, so let me give you some advice: keep your life as a hero and a civilian as far apart as you possibly can. Since we’re everyone’s therapists and all, it’s kind of depressing when you start thinking about everything the civvies tell you when you’re off the job.”

Carapace reached out slowly, giving her time to draw back, and rested a hand on top of her head.

“So, lean into your image. Lean into it so hard you become a parody of yourself. It’s better for everyone that way. Trust me.”

She reached up and pulled his hand off, frowning deeply. “If you think that then why did you agree to live with us? Why are you taking videos of us all being friends?”

“Well, I live with everyone because it was a good solution for some concerns I had about college… not that we really had a choice. Master Fu wasn’t going to give it up.” He leaned back in his chair and stretched. “And I’m taking videos of everyone because it’ll help when we need to do our whole therapy thing. People talk more when they feel close to you.”

Rena stared at him in shock. That was… surprisingly cold and calculated for the supposed ‘nice’ hero. Then again, by his own admission, he didn’t even see himself as that nice of a person.

Were all the other heroes like that? Lying about their personalities for the sake of the public or their mental health? And, if they were, were they keeping up the act while there too or did they consider living in the house their new ‘civilian’ life?

She pushed herself to her feet abruptly, startling Carapace a second time. She crossed her arms.

“I’ve got an idea for what to do. Thanks.”

“Huh? But I didn’t --?”

She was already gone.

~

Despite the temptation to disobey that she was pretty sure wasn’t entirely her fault, Rena had gone to Ladybug a few days later with a proposal:

“I still want to be an informant to the people.” She saw Ladybug begin to protest, so she rushed to finish the rest of her sentence: “Obviously, I won’t be giving them anything of substance, but it could help to make them feel closer to us as heroes.”

Ladybug couldn’t turn down the reasoning. It was what Carapace had listed as his own.

And, to her delight, Ladybug seemed to agree because she clicked her tongue and nodded.

“Fine. What’re you planning to do?”

“Simple stuff. A house tour -- making sure to blur and hide anything that could give Hawkmoth our location -- and then after that keep them updated on the news.”

There was a silence as she considered this. Then her head tipped to the side. “What do you mean by ‘news’?”

“Nothing major. Have you ever seen a drama channel on YouTube? Stuff like that.”

“... fine, but you should run your videos by everyone involved before uploading.”

Rena nodded her understanding.

~

She started with the house tour. If she was going to do this, she needed to gain their trust. A few normal videos, and then she’d start trying to slip the public information about the heroes’ true personalities.

Rena didn’t want to expose them to Hawkmoth, and especially didn’t want to expose their families, so she really was going to try to respect most of their privacy. For this reason, she did tell them all when she was going to do the house tour so they could hide anything that could be used to figure out their identities.

She started with the shared rooms like the kitchen and living room, but she brushed past all of that quickly since she knew that wasn’t what they’d be interested in.

Her room was first. It was the same size as every other bedroom in the house, but it felt tiny and cramped. There was a dresser, a desk, a bed, three different bookshelves, an end table… well, let’s just say that she’d brought more stuff than necessary. The room wasn’t exactly neat, it seemed that it would buckle under the weight of Rena’s knickknacks if she wasn’t careful, but it wasn’t necessarily dirty either; everything had its place.

She decided to put the more boring rooms in the middle for the good old watchtime. Ladybug’s room was fine but her personality was a bit dull when it came to this kind of thing, and Carapace’s personality was fine but his room was boring, so...

She was off to Ladybug’s room. She climbed up to the attic and finally figured out exactly what Ladybug had been working on since they’d moved in. Apparently she was trying to make an indoor jungle gym using the support beams on the ceiling. It actually looked like a pretty good workout, though maybe a little unsafe. Beyond that, the room was rather full. Random pieces of furniture (mostly chairs) were strewn about, loaded with a precarious amount of fabrics.

She found Ladybug hunched over a sketchbook on her bed, swaddled in blankets despite the fact that the attic was actually pretty warm.

She looked up at her and blinked. “Oh. Now? Okay.” She escaped her blanket prison with minimal struggling and then gave a short tour of her room.

Rena pointed to a divider on the other side of the room. “What’s behind there?”

Ladybug looked over and a blush spread across her face. “I don’t have a closet, so that’s where I put the secret identity stuff for now. Don’t go back there.”

For some reason, Rena thought she was being lied to. However, she couldn’t just go back there when Ladybug had just said that it would reveal her identity, so she just nodded and said: “Gotcha. Thanks for the tour.”

She moved on to Carapace’s room next. She pushed the door to his room open and sent a smile and a wave. All his textbooks were safely stashed out of sight and he’d cleaned up the normal mess of old snacks for the video, which somehow made his room feel even emptier than usual.

“Here we have a wild Carapace in his natural habitat. Though, why this is what he chose as his natural habitat is beyond me.”

He laughed good-naturedly. “I don’t need much.”

“I can see that.”

He smiled. “Ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous!” He said, doing his best impression of Chloe.

Rena cleared her throat, and then did a perfect impression of her voice.

Carapace’s eyes widened. “Chloe?”

She tried not to laugh, and instead nodded and continued her impression: “Yes. I’m secretly Chloe. Rena asked me to take her place for this because she was tired.”

He didn’t seem sure whether or not to take this as a joke, and she gleefully left the room.

She moved on to Chloe’s room. It was… somehow both bright and dark in there and this threw Rena off more than she’d like to admit. While most people would take Rena for the hoarder (and they’d probably be right to), Chloe also seemed to have some hoarding problems; the walls were taken up with different luxury items from jewelry to handbags; the floor was littered with different plants at seemingly random intervals.

Chloe looked up from where she was tending to some plants with the help of a few bees (wait, was there an actual BEEHIVE in there?).

“I like your… bees…?”

Chloe snickered. “Thanks. They don’t like you, though, so I’d suggest you leave.”

Rena was a little offended that the bees didn’t like her, but she didn’t need to be told twice.

She headed to Chat’s room next.

When she opened the door she had thought that he wasn’t there. The lights were off outside of a TV which, upon closer inspection, she realized someone was playing a video game. Huh. She turned on the light.

Once she was actually able to see, she was taken aback by how dirty it was. Clothes littered the ground; the bed looked like it hadn’t been made since they moved in; there was a grand piano but it was currently being used as a trash can for old snack bags.

“Did you forget that I was doing a house tour today?”

“Nope,” said Chat from somewhere in the filth.

“Oh… okay…”

The video cut.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @mialuvscats @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0

[looye29]

Urinary Incontinence, the medical term used for loss of bladder control, is quite a common problem for women and men, and even more so for new mothers. Over 200 million people worldwide suffer from this problem, and a majority of them are women. While it isn’t a disease as much as a minor disfunction, not having control of your bladder is a concern that certainly needs to be addressed.    The symptoms can range from having a minor leakage when you laugh or sneeze to having to run to a bathroom out of urgency and seldom reach the distance. Loss of bladder control and peeing yourself in public is obviously embarrassing, making you feel low. It definitely drains out self-confidence. The good news is that the problem can be easily addressed with minor lifestyle changes, exercise, and medical treatment. If you are looking for an alternate natural remedy to correct accidental leakage issues, the Pelvic Floor Strong product is a good option. Here I give you an in-depth, unbiased review of the product available exclusively via the ClickBank marketplace.   What is Pelvic Floor Strong Created by Alex Miller, Pelvic Floor Strong is an online fitness program that helps you strengthen your pelvic muscles to alleviate your leakage woes. It enables you to regain bladder control with specific upper body exercises. Alex Miller is a fitness instructor and women's health specialist from Canada. Her story is inspiring, and the Pelvic Floor Strong is a result of her mother's and her fight with Urinary Incontinence. She is a renowned instructor with many students, many of whom are chiropractors, therapists, athletes, and celebrities. She is also certified in TRX, treadmill interval running, and mat Pilates. The combination of Miller’s qualifications and her personal experience that inspired the Pelvic Floor Strong is what really seems to work for this program. How does it work The Pelvic Floor is a facet of muscles that embrace your bladder, uterus, and bowels. When these muscles relax, it makes way for us to pee or poop (pass urine or have a bowel movement). When the floor contracts, it stops the flow of urine, stools, and gas. Some of the reasons that weaken our pelvic muscles are ‘layer syndrome,’ an imbalance existing in the core of your abdominal muscles, often caused due to improper breathing; and diastasis recti, the separation of your middle abdominal region usually caused post-pregnancy due to the muscles not healing back together.    Now the fitness program provided by Miller strengthens these muscles and alleviates you from accidental leaking, layer syndrome, diastasis recti, lower back, hip, and pelvic pain. The exercises are extremely easy to perform and are suitable for women of all ages. You may be surprised to know that the movements involve your upper body, which has been the cause all along. For one, I was taken aback when I learned that specific arm exercises could help regulate urine control! The program also educates you on the many harmful things we are doing that affect our pelvic region. This is essential information that is usually hidden from mainstream medicine. While the program prevents you from further destroying your body and risking yourself to more serious problems in the future, it provides effective solutions - exercises that are easy to do and need no additional resources. Pros The Pelvic Floor Strong has several benefits. Here are some I really liked: Easy to do exercises suitable for all age groups. Easy to understand and learn the course.   Quick response solution for the problem which works almost overnight.    The exercises strengthen your pelvic muscle and alleviate not only urinary Incontinence but also diastasis recti, lower back, and hip pain. It aids in belly flattening.     Negates the need to go through expensive surgeries, harmful medication, and temporary solutions such as pads, diapers, etc.   Educates you on the wrongdoings such as Kegels and other exercises that aren’t for everyone.

This is very beautifully explained using the rubber band analogy on the website.   Provides a natural and mindful remedy to the problem of urinary Incontinence. Provides complete remedy to pelvic strengthening, which is great for better orgasms, better bowel movements, and overall wellbeing. There is a one-time fee for full access, and there are no upsells.   Committing to the program is extremely easy for everyone as it doesn't take up too much of your time, and you can do them from almost anywhere. The techniques are designed seeking inspiration from renowned physical therapists and experiential learning.   A money-back guarantee is provided in case this doesn't work for you within 60 days. Cons For any fitness courses, there are, of course, a few disadvantages. For the Pelvic Floor Strong program, they are: Some of these exercises cannot be performed by everybody.  You will have to purchase the course to gain access to most information.  Until you decide to buy the course and pay up, you will not be sure of what exercises you need to do. Final verdict The Pelvic Floor Strong is a great way to fix Urinary Incontinence using a natural and convenient method of exercise. The act of exercising can be tiresome and difficult at first, but it is important that you try. It is also crucial to be aware that there are many exercises and programs out there, few of which are good, and many are not. Try the Pelvic Floor String program before you fall prey to wrong advice, expensive surgeries, and consume toxic medications, which may lead to side effects. Even if it doesn't work for you, it is backed by a money-back guarantee, so you can always claim a refund.   I would rate this program a 4 out of 5 stars - The positives being the legitimacy, quick response, pricing and payment policies, and benefits of the program. A minus 1 star for the reason being that the exercises might not be doable by all and you will have to pay to find out.  

[uncloseted]

hey, i love your blog but i had a question i wanted to ask? which is basically why do you (and your followers i guess) like effy?

i thought she was fairly cool and had a lot of potential in her s2 episode, but afterwards (s3-4) i genuinely couldn’t stand her. i feel like she treats most people pretty awfully other than tony and panda (and to some extent freddie). she just isn’t a likeable character to me, and i feel like the actress being so good looking is a massive factor in why so many people like her. in fact, i think that if kaya wasn’t beautiful, effy would be almost unanimously hated.

i also have a petty resentment for her based on the fact that as someone with a couple of mental illnesses (bpd/depression), i feel effy is a very poor and deeply romanticised depiction of mental illness, and this inadvertently created a whole generation of exceptionally irritating young girls who would then proceed to glorify mental illness and try to “be like effy” despite the fact that she really isn’t someone anyone should be seeing as a role model.

so yeah, am i right in my theory? do you like effy because she’s attractive, or do you find her relatable or compelling or sympathetic or something? or can you explain why you do? just looking for some insight.

side note: i typically like less “good” characters, i adore katie and cook for example, but with effy i felt she had so few redeeming traits other being “fit and mysterious” that i just couldn’t bring myself to root for her.

Thanks for loving the blog! If Effy's not your thing, please feel free to send in questions about other characters, too. I'm just kind of happy to talk about whatever is on people's minds at this point.

I've answered this type of question before over the years, but I don't think you're correct about why people like Effy.

I think fans of Effy are attracted to Effy not because of how she looks, but because of who her character is.  I think people are attracted to her character and want to be like her because they see the negative parts of themselves in her and want her positive traits, too.  She’s quiet, but it comes across as mysterious. She’s self-destructive, but (for the first few seasons, at least), it just means that she’s wild and fun.  She’s manipulative, but it just means that all the boys like her.  She's struggling with mental illness, but it means that Freddie tries to help her recover. I think people like her as a character because she’s at once relatable and aspirational, interesting but also messed up and struggling.

Fundamentally, I don't think her character is some type of social contagion where people see her and think she's so beautiful that they, too, want to have psychotic depression. I think the people trying to be like her are people who are already struggling and are looking for a solution. "Be like Effy" seems like a solution to them because then at least their illness will be palatable to others. Is it a good solution? No. Therapy is a good solution. Medication is a good solution. If I'm honest, part of the reason I still write about Effy on this blog at all is because I want to be able to talk to the people who want to be like her and offer them other solutions. But I get wanting to feel like there's something good or romantic or interesting about your experience with something as fundamentally difficult as mental illness. And oftentimes, being a mentally ill teenager feels so isolating. Seeing someone like you on TV is really powerful because it makes you feel less alone.

I also think that beauty is subjective.  Obviously Kaya is beautiful, but she’s actually talked a lot about how she was insecure as a teenager because she “was really skinny and flat-chested with frizzy hair” and has said she was bullied because of her appearance.  And even in other pieces of media, I don't think Kaya is nearly as beautiful or captivating as she is when she plays Effy. Effy is a character that seems particularly charismatic to me, and I think that's in the way she's written more than it is in how she looks.

I also think Effy gets hit by a lot of misogyny. Tony isn't a likable character by any means. He's terrible to the people around him, much worse than Effy ever was, and he's terrible to people because it's fun for him. But Tony is an almost universally beloved character in the show. In general, the characters in Skins are people who make bad decisions and are mean to those around them. That's what drives the plot. But they're all likable because we understand where they're coming from and why they choose to do what they do. I don't think Effy's any different.

Effy is a mentally ill teenager who's struggling to cope. She's someone who's confident and clever and fun and perceptive and supportive and would do anything for the people she loves. She's someone who's unapologetically herself all the time. She's also not great to the people around her, but it's mostly from a place of fear and not knowing what else to do, which to me feels very realistic. I think she gets blamed by the fandom for a lot of things that aren't actually her fault (like "breaking up" the Musketeers).

I also think it's interesting that the traits that made her seem "fit and mysterious" in the first two series turn out to be symptoms of mental illness, and I think it's interesting how we're prompted to reexamine the assumptions we were making about who she was in the context of this new information. I think her characterization really speaks to how we have no idea what a person's internal life looks like, and how we should approach other people with empathy because we don't know what their struggle is.

I find her to be a pretty accurate portrayal of one individual person's experience with psychotic depression, which is totally different to what another person's experience with that same disorder might look like, which is totally different to what someone's experience with bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder might be like. I like that her illness wasn't sanitized to only show a "nice" or non-destructive version of what that illness can be. I like that from the audience perspective, it's kind of frustrating to watch her continue to make mistakes. That's what real mental illness is like, and oftentimes that's what it's like to care about someone who has a mental illness.

I do think that the way her story ended was nonsense, and that the "evil therapist" trope was detrimental. She's someone I was really rooting for. I wanted to see her overcome her mental illness and her fear of vulnerability. I wanted to see her harness her perceptiveness and her cleverness to help others. I wanted to see her be a good friend and a good girlfriend. I'm disappointed that we never got to see that person who has worked hard to recover and has become a better person because of it.

But overall, I do find her to be a character who's sympathetic and compelling. You don't have to agree with me at all. A lot of people don't like her, and I get that. But it does sound like maybe you dislike what Effy represents to you (a portrayal of mental illness you don't relate to, a fandom who wants to be like Effy, and a character people only like because she's pretty) as opposed to the character herself and her storylines.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: One World, One People (1x06)

Oof, okay, so I obviously enjoyed watching this, but I do have some things I would like to discuss.

Cons:

The biggest one is honestly about Isaiah. I understand that this is a superhero show, and there's some cheesiness baked into the very concept of it. I like the idea of a triumphant ending for our heroes, where amends are made and everyone is brought some measure of peace. BUT, I feel like a more nuanced, more true to reality ending here with Isaiah might have been different. Maybe he gives a tip of the hat to Sam, says he's happy he's found his peace, but he still doesn't agree with his choices. See, the thing is, some people who have been hurt by systems want that system to acknowledge its mistake, to apologize, to make amends. That's what Sam is pushing for. He believes we can do better, and all that. And that's a wonderful perspective. But other people who have been hurt by systems might not want anything to do with that system ever again. At the end, when Sam sets up the part of the museum for Isaiah, he says "now everyone will know what you did for this country," and Isaiah seemed pleased and touched by this. But I couldn't help but think... he was forced into doing those things, and then punished for doing them. If he'd decided he didn't want acknowledgment, didn't want to be linked to the idea of American heroism... I couldn't blame him for that. It might have added more nuance to the ending. Sam could have even said that it's okay if he and Isaiah don't agree on the best way forward, they still have mutual respect, or whatever.

As a white lady, maybe I'm off base. I'm just really curious at what the reaction is going to be. All through watching this show I kept saying to myself that an ending where Sam takes up the shield and becomes Captain America can't stand on its own. There's got to be nuance. There's got to be some good justification for it. And as I'll talk about in a moment, I think they've done an okay job... but I also wouldn't be surprised to find some people enormously dissatisfied with this conclusion. Steve Rogers handed the shield to Sam, yes. But should we forget what he did before handing it over? Well, he walked away from the government and was on the run because he didn't respect their choices. Just some food for thought.

I also just want to say: ????? to that ending for John Walker? It was so bizarre to see the light banter moment between him and Bucky after Walker had quoted Lincoln. Like... that felt so out of place. And now he's being made into an American agent? I don't understand that random lady's role in events. I don't know if I'm supposed to think it's sinister and creepy as fuck that John still has a uniform, and even the suggestion of authority (I do think it's creepy as fuck, for the record), or if I'm supposed to be... pleased that he got a new job? Just, tonally, the stuff with Walker in this finale was all over the place. He didn't seem to really matter, and yet he was still there, and the episode didn't seem able to reckon with his presence.

Oh, also, I can totally respect a bit of ham-fisted politic in a show like this. It's really the only way to do it. But Karli saying that Lamar didn't matter, and John saying "you think Lemar's life didn't matter?" was, perhaps, a little on the nose. I'm not sure I like the BLM mouthpiece being blond haired blue eyed John Walker, especially when Lemar's death, at least as a narrative function, only happened to allow John to get sad and angry about it. Where's his wing in the museum, huh?

Also Sharon Carter, she's my girl or whatever, but I gotta admit she was kind of boring to me in this whole series. I wanted more from her. The reveal that she was the Power Broker had me shrugging. I wanted to be more shocked, but she was so clearly telegraphed as being fishy from minute one. The fact is, we haven't had enough time with this character to figure out who she actually is as a person, yet. I don't understand her, and that's a shame.

Pros:

That was a long "cons" section, especially for an episode that kept me riveted the whole way through!

First off, the action was exciting and different and had so many classic "superhero moments" while not totally abandoning a more grounded feel. Sam holding the car up was such a Moment. Also the "that's Black Falcon!" "No, that's Captain America" moment was so cheesy but exactly the right kind of cheesy, you know? We got to see everyone being a bad-ass, crowds applauding, Sam's fantastic entrance with the new suit, the wings, the shield... damn. It was all cool in the way the best Marvel products need to be.

So, Sam taking the shield. I think it works because of his speech to the politicians. Specifically calling out the power they have, and the people they have in the room with them when they make the decisions that will affect so many people. There's this wonderful moment when one of the politicians asks a legitimate question: what about people who came back after the snap to find someone else living in their house? It's so complicated. And as the show ends, we're not given a simple answer. Sam merely points out the miracle of having everyone fighting the same fight for once. These rich and powerful people have had no idea how impossible it can be, and now they're getting a taste of that. There might just be the power of equalizing in all of this.

And most important to me? The government didn't hand Sam the shield. Sam took it and took ownership of it on his own terms. Think back to the legacy of Steve and the shield, honestly. Yes, he was given it by the government, but then he stole it when he ran away, then he gave it up, then Tony gave it back to him... it's a lot more complicated than it might first appear. Nobody's going to argue that the shield was Steve's to give, and he gave it to Sam, and Sam took it for his own. That made it work for me, as a direct contrast to the way in which John Walker got his hands on it.

Karli's death was inevitable and tragic. While I never cared all that much for her character as an individual, she worked quite well as a symbol. Sam points this out in his speech as well. Hasn't anyone stopped to wonder why people believed in this cause so much they were willing to die for it? That matters. It means something. And more will follow. I appreciate that the show ends on an ambiguous note. The people in power are still the people in power. And yes, their decision has been postponed. They've decided not to relocate people and replace the borders immediately. But what is the long-term solution? How does the world begin to heal? Well, we don't know. We don't get to see that.

If anyone got short shrift in this finale it was Bucky, but I'm honestly okay with that for a couple of reasons. One, this is Sam's show and I'm happy that it stayed that way. And two, we saw Bucky's emotional arc come to a head in last week's episode. The work isn't done, but he knows what the work is that he has to do, and we see him start to do that. He gives the journal up to his therapist. A way of letting go of his guilt, but also of saying goodbye to Steve in a way that can give him some actual closure. He confesses to his friend Yuri what really happened to his son.

And more than all of that, he shows up to hang out with Sam and his family. He brings cake. He goofs off with the kids. He hugs his friend, his partner, Sam Wilson. I can see Bucky coming to peace with some things. Coming into his own. It breaks my heart that we don't get to see more of that play out on screen. The show had to make a choice about whose story to prioritize, and in my opinion it made the right choice. This was a show about Sam's journey and Sam's decision here at the end was the capstone of that.

That scene at the end, though... the kids hanging off of Bucky's metal arm was such a poignant image for me, because this man is a killing machine, was designed to be so, but has remade himself into something else, and this moment really showcased that. Also, that gay-ass ending of Sam and Bucky looking out over the water together and then strolling away, Sam's arm around Bucky? Thank you for my life, Disney, I guess. And we got Bucky calling Sam "Cap," and his obvious admiration and pride in him for his speech... I just love them, y'all. I really do.

I wouldn't say anything about this show broke the mold or made me really excited about Marvel again. I enjoyed it, because I already liked Sam and Bucky, and I got to spend more time with them. I was nervous about how they were going to navigate certain political stickiness, and honestly I think they did... an okayish job. I could have wished for them to go even further, but they didn't take the easy way out, in my opinion.

I hope they make more of this someday. Regardless, I'm not ready to say goodbye to Sam Wilson or Bucky Barnes, so I hope we get to see Captain America and the White Wolf grace our screens again in some project or other!

8.5/10

[thebooki3h]

Harry Potter x Draco Idea

It’s years after the war. Harry is the DADA professor at Hogwarts. both to teach students because he loves it and to help students in ways that adults could not help him. He is head of the DADA club as well as the Wizarding world 101 club for those who grew up with muggles so they can better acclimate to the wizarding world. Hermione helped him set up that last one)

the DADA club is pretty self explanatory. harry teaches defense spells and those spells rank by skill not by year. he also teaches hand to hand defense because one day you many not have magic. (he emphasizes this part for the girls. he's been to the clubs and he hates how girls can be treated) he also emphasizes prevention. he talks about how to prevent another dark lord.

some days they don’t even practice defense they just talk about what bother them. those days can be sad. but their nice. ( that reminds him he should talk to Hermione about setting up mental health clinics muggles have those and his therapist has been very helpful)

Harry and ginny broke up shortly after the war because as much as they loved each other, they just weren’t right for one another. 

Ginny becomes a famous quidditch player

Hermione becomes a Wizard lawyer. so she can put laws in place that would help prevent another dark lord from rising 

she also has plans to tackle the treatment of magical creatures. (Dobby and lupin haunt her and visit her nightmares often) but there's only so much that one can do in a year and she does not want to repeat 3 year

She pushes for laws that protect children so no one has to go through what tom riddle or harry went through

she also moves for primary school for wizarding children so they get to socialize with others and learn about the muggle world and their science. 

Hermione becomes minister of magic and incorporates muggle ideas like foster care and child protective services into the wizarding world because after she saw how Harry she could never in good conscious let other children go through that

Ron started auror training and became an auror for a few years because it is what helped him cope with Freds death. But after all of the death eaters were given trials and sentenced, he retired from the force and partnered with George to help expand the Weasleys Wizard Wheezes. 

He even opens up a partner store in the muggle world. (getting their toys and pranks to work without magic was tough but it really helped bond them together.) It’s what Fred would have wanted anyway.

and ron and Hermione are still together because the war made them closer and when they were apart 7th year it was awful, but they don't get married no matter how much Molly wants them to. they’re in their 20s and they still have time

Luna is a well respect reporter. The Quibbler is now the Wizarding worlds most trusted news source. (especially after Rita skeeter was arrested for defamation of character) (something Hermione presided over with pride)

she is also the only reporter that any of the students at Hogwarts in Harrys year will speak to. Most other student who attended the school while harry was there (especially after seeing what happened to him during 4th year) will only speak to her anyway. but it is not as hard a rule especially if they didn't really interact with harry.

Harry formally adopted Teddy when he was 6 years old. Teddy had been living with harry since he was 1 and a half because Andromeda couldn’t take care of him anymore. but he wanted Teddy to give him permission first.

Harry makes sure to tell Teddy all about his birth parents and about how much they loved him and about how much Harry love them.

the day Teddy called harry dad. harry most definitely did not cry in for an hour after teddy left for primary school

Teddy lives with harry in the castle during the school year. ( because where else would he live. all of the other professors lie in the castle. and harry may or may not be very paranoid about something happening to teddy, but that is something he talks about with his mind healer and not you so shut up)

Draco goes to school to become a potions master so he can work at St mungos and help people.

he still feels guilty about the war and about how he treated others during his Hogwarts years. he quickly learns that no one wants to be healed by him. he looks like his father more and more every year.

he hates that he has done all of those awful things. but he is making up for them! it takes the public awhile to see it but the glares aren’t as bad anymore.

but his fathers actions haunt him. and he wants to separate himself from his father as much as possible. so he does the unthinkable and dies his hair.

at first he uses spells but he finds the muggle way soothing.

he eventually gets a job at Hogwarts when he is 24 as the potions master. (bc let’s be honest Slughorn was a temporary solution at best he was NOT supposed to be at Hogwarts this long)

it is at this point where he meets teddy. Teddy roams the halls and visits classes from time to time. so long as he does not disturb any of the teachers that is

he gets excited when he sees a teacher with bright purple hair. (he thinks he found another Metamorphmagus. so he follows them to their classroom. he’s never seen them before and he wants to get to know them)

Draco is shocked to see a small child in his class, but he was warned about teddy so he kept his infamous Malfoy mask on to hide his surprise 

teddy is obviously disappointed that Draco isn’t a Metamorphmagus like him, but he asks Draco all about his hair and how he got it like that. Teddy’s hair may or may not match dracos for the next week, but he’ll deny it if you ask him.

teddy sits through all of dracos classes for that week as well. he does is school work and tries not to disrupt. (mcgonagall was very helpful in teaching teddy proper manners (so he didn’t take after his uncles George and Ron) so he knows when to be on his best behavior. )

uncles George and Ron may or may not send him Weasleys wizard wheezes every month. His uncle George also taught him how to pull off a prank and not get caught (especially by auntie Minnie)

even though auntie Minnie taught him manners sometimes he’ll get really excited and pull a Hermione and ask raise his hand to as a bunch of questions (because he is not old enough to do anything practical yet)

Draco answers all of teddy’s questions. (they are surprisingly good for an 8 year old so of course he does) he even mentions that his students could take a page out of Teddys book. (he hopes they don’t ask questions because that is not always encouraged, not because they are afraid of him)

the students had heard rumors about Draco from their parents, so they were a little afraid of him. they though that he would be like professor Snape. instead he is more like mcgonagall. he expects that his students respect that magic can be dangerous and that he is there to help. but he is also firmly kind. he never yells, only scolds. (and that is only when you do something that could have hurt someone)

harry hears a rumor that the new potions teacher is, as his 6th year students put it, H O T. he knows that it is someone from his years at Hogwarts, but he wasn’t really paying attention all that much. (he likes to get as much time with his son as possible)

speaking of his son, he hasn’t seen him in his class as normal. Teddy is usually in their rooms, in his classroom or with Minnie. (mcgonagall insists that he call her that. yes, it is very weird) teddy isn’t allowed in the greenhouses with Neville anymore after than sneezing incident.

So during one of his free periods ( that are usually reserved for helping teddy with math bc Hermione insists because “math is very important Harry!”) he takes out the marauders map and looks for his son. (completely missing Draco’s name because duh)

he finally finds him in the dungeons and he spots the new potions master teaching about sleeping draught and its properties to 3rd years. he is mesmerize by the (now midnight blue) hair. he doesn’t immediately recognize Malfoy bc the blonde hair is gone. 

he just sits next to teddy (who is attempting to take notes like the other students, but is really just drawing stick figures with potions and random ingredients written down)

once the class files out teddy goes to introduce his dad to his new favorite professor (sorry aunt Minnie). once they realize who the other one is it’s kind of awkward bc they haven’t seen each other since harry spoke for him and his mother to exonerate them and give Draco back his wand.

but they bond over teddy and how well teddy seems to do in dracos class (even though he is 8) and thus began the weekly visits and lunches. 

eventually teddy has to stop going to dracos class because they have begun brewing potions, and we don't want a repeat of what happened in the greenhouses. this really bummed teddy out so he insisted that they eat lunch together.

harry and Draco find themselves still eating lunch together, even when teddy has gone to nana molly’s house for the week to visit his cousins.

they already talked to each other in the halls once they had reconnected, but after that lunch without teddy they start having dinner in each others rooms instead

harry introduces Draco to something he calls movies and Draco talks about all of the wizarding pop culture harry never seems to understand

soon these nightly hangouts happen more than once a week. it has gotten to the point where Draco and harry have fallen asleep on Harrys couch in his living room on more than one occasion. 

most of these hangout happen in Harrys rooms bc he is still a little paranoid

then right around Christmas time Hermione asks harry to speak at a fundraiser for something or another and it is last minute because the other speaker had to cancel “ I know it’s last minute harry, but you know I wouldn’t ask if I had another choice”

Harry doesn’t want to ask Molly because she has so much to do to prep for Christmas and he doesn’t want to be a burden, so would Draco pretty please watch teddy for the night. Harry will be home really late and he is so sorry that this is last minute and of course you can’t watch him and I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked

and Draco loves teddy so of course he’ll watch him! it will be like a sleep over won’t it teddy.

draco is shocked that harry would trust him with teddy for the night because of his past  and he is freaking out inside but its fine and he is not going to mess this up he is not going to mess this up.

and harry goes and he os not as worried as he thinks he is but he is still worried bc parenthood y’know and he really doesn’t like going to these things because he is so over being the boy who lived twice and he just wants to go home a snuggle with draco and talk about movies while teddy is showing them how he can change his eye color now

and then it hits him that he included draco in the scenario and how long has he been doing that for. and then he finds out that he really doesn’t mind that and how long has he thought about draco being in his life and should he ask draco out he most definitely should ask him out

and draco going through the same thing but with working about teddy and knowing that harry really hates going to those galas and how he did too when he was a child and how much better it would be if they had gone together him harry and teddy

harry proceeds to panic about this new revelation to Hermione because she is always so easy to talk to and she always knows what to do and Ron isn’t there because he hates those galas almost as much as harry

Hermione proceeds to tell harry to just ask him out already you already trust him with teddy and you talk about him all the time in your letters and even Ron has noticed and he avoids talking about feelings as much as he can

so harry decides he is going to ask draco out 

(draco is already invited to weasley Christmas and has a sweater already made bc mama weasley don't mess around)

the next day when harry goes to pick teddy up he doesn’t know what to say and neither does draco and then they blurt it out at the same time and start rambling (Bc that’s always cute) and then they get really quiet

and then teddy says finally bc he made a bet with his uncle George (bc uncle George always helps him with new pranks and he is so awesome and easy to talk to)  and a couple other students about when harry and draco are going to ask each other out on a date 

(and he doesn’t really know what that means but auntie Minnie says its when you want to hold hands and you love each other very much but not like brothers but like best friends but more. he tried to get her to explain but she said that was his dad’s job)

and draco and harry are both shocked bc teddy knew? and if it’s ok with teddy then why not give it a go. 

then Christmas passes with everyone getting a new sweater (draco should really re-introduce his mum and Molly because they would get on like a house on fire with how much they love their kids and his mum could use a friend)

and the school year finishes with harry and draco becoming known as the cute professors how visit each others classes with gifts and hold hands when they think no one is looking

and draco spends most of his summer at 12 Grimmauld place ( harry spent the better part of a month renovating that house so it would be more modern and safe for teddy)

he also removed a lot of the dark artifacts and placed them in a vault at gringotts so he can study them later. the ones he deemed to be containable and somewhat mild he took for his upper year classes so they would know how to deal with those artifacts

and draco is basically moved into harry’s rooms by the end of the summer and he doesn’t notice until the school year comes around again and he has to pack and he finds that his flat in muggle London (yes he moved there. Hermione recommended it after the trials and he is so grateful to her because that really helped him break down all that he had been taught by his father)

but draco waits to see if harry says anything and harry does but harry takes to long so he says something, but its not the question he was expecting. he was expecting more of a well aren’t you moved in already sort of response when all harry said was you are welcome to be here and I love that you are here I just didn’t want to push you and I know you like having your own space

and draco is confused, but harry explains that their relationship is still new and he didn’t want to push anything unnaturally so he let draco set the pace because he loves him and he figured there was no harm in draco still having his flat because if he needed time it made sense

this whole conversation led to one about communication about needs and boundaries because harry has trouble with that still from the Dursley's and from the war and draco has trouble with feelings bc of his father and this whole thing just makes them stronger

they make the move in official but draco keeps the flat because it is still nice to stay in muggle London and harry doesn’t disagree.

and they also agree that draco should keep his rooms at Hogwarts just so that the students don’t get distracted by the professors living together even if they are together and boy is it nice to say that

also that way if draco needs to work on things for his potions class they can still keep teddy safe

and teddy still calls harry dad because harry raised him but he calls draco dray like his father does and that feels just as good as dad to draco. he doesn't expect anything like that from teddy because he became a father figure to him so late in his life and dray makes him feel so loved in a way he has never felt before

and their relationship only gets stronger as the years pass and eventually they do get married (it’s the summer after teddy’s 1st year and he couldn’t be happier) 

teddy moving out of harry’s rooms and into the Hufflepuff tower was a weird transition for all of them, but it was comforting to know that he could go talk to his dads whenever he wants

and he thinks of draco as his dad at this point but calling him anything other than dray would be weird and dray feels as good as calling harry dad so why change it

that year draco moved into Harrys rooms permanently and left his other rooms for good. (the happy couple still go there sometimes since it is attached to dracos office and they get up to shenanigans there bc teddy doesn’t ever go into those rooms like he does with the ones he grew up in)

and in teddy’s first year everyone is like wow those are your dads? and he is like yea they’re cool and they were in the war but I have seen them dancing with a mop and a dustpan and they’re really not that cool you guys 

and once teddy starts making his way up through Hogwarts the war seems so far away and the students come in with the stories they’ve heard from their parents about the great Harry Potter and dastardly Draco Malfoy and then like a 2 weeks into term they’re like these dudes are total nerds and super in love with each other and its adorable

then the Weasley kids start filtering through Hogwarts and harry and draco are in their 30s. teddy wanted to go to muggle university (which he can totally get into because Hermione is a real one lemme tell you)

also you’re gonna tell me she DIDN’T teach teddy all of the muggle curriculum he would need to know to get into college bc let’s be real Hogwarts wasn’t a challenge bc he’d been there his whole life so he def graduated early and still lived there with harry and draco while Hermione got him muggle books

also in their free time harry Hermione and draco definitely figured out how to get wifi in Hogwarts ( how would they live without their rom coms) in like a weekend

and George became the new charms teacher after flitwick retired and the students love him and his satires of pranks with his brothers

and in his spare time he still comes up with jokes for the joke shop and he even lets his students submit their attempts for items for the shop for extra credit (this eventually turns into an end of year assignment for each grade and former students of George love seeing their names on the tags for the toys in the joke shop)

and Ron who has a knack for business (who knew?) expands the WWW empire and he already has shops in America and he is thinking about expanding into Asia but he still needs to look into that market

but teddy goes to college and harry and draco keep living their lives and revolutionizing Hogwarts with Minnie (draco is still stunned she insisted that he call her that) they keep integrating muggle ideas, and it is easier in Hogwarts because the children are much more open to change

and now they are in their 40s and Hogwarts has a whole new branch of the school where children between the ages 5 and 10 can come in and learn about muggles and magic and math and science and why there is a giant squid in the lake

harry and draco are now a staple in Hogwarts like Dumbledore was but so much better bc they would never let kids return to abusive homes and they’re known for being so approachable and willing to help anyone with their problems

the students start calling them the dads of Hogwarts (teddy insists he didn’t start that but he totally did with George and Ron’s help)

and the name sticks and they not so secretly love it

and the war becomes a distant memory

until students start acting really strange and harry and draco think it is just them until George and Minnie and Neville come to them with concerns and they don’t know what is happening and as much as harry loves draco he knows he needs to call Hermione and Ron (Ron still will not touch a phone and if draco can use one why can’t he, but he insists) 

he calls them because the last time he was this scared in Hogwarts they were there and he is a Grown Man but suddenly he feels like he just left the Dursley's again 

draco calls his mother and he calls pansy and Blaise because they were there when he had to deal with his father planning and plotting and wanting Voldemort to return and they know what he felt like and he is a Grown Man but he feels as if he will never get his fathers approval even though he hasn’t needed that in years (and he doesn’t want it) 

the word spread about harry calling for his best friends and draco doing the same and if they are doing that then they must be scared

(they are so very tired of being afraid and so very tired of fighting)

but the must protect their students

so Molly (even though she is not as young as when her children went to Hogwarts her grandchildren do and she’ll be damned if anything ever happens to her family) arrives too with the weasley clan as ready as ever and Seamus and dean and even Oliver Wood (who is a world renown former quidditch player and even more famous coach)

when teddy gets there for his dad and dray they are suddenly so much more worried because he is their life, but he is an adult now and he is here for them

when their former students arrive harry definitely starts to cry (draco didn’t because malfoys don’t cry in public in front of their former students even if he didn’t really believe that now it was nice to hold onto to help keep some of his composure) and their students tell them that they are here now to help, to fight and that they shouldn’t have to fight anymore but if they must 

their students say that Harry and Draco did such a good job and helped the wizarding world, helped them so much, and we know professor potter that we must be kind to others because no one deserves what tom riddle went through even if Voldemort was awful.

professor potter we know that you taught us that defense should only be used in protection and we should always be mindful and we are here to protect you

and professor Malfoy you were so kind to us and you were understanding and you encouraged our questions and you taught us to be curious and to never be satisfied with something at face value. you taught us to explore and we are here

and it feels like the war again but better because they are all on the same side and what ever this is harry doesn’t have to hide under the invisibility cloak and draco doesn't have to hide in the room of requirement and this new thing? this new thing that threatens the life they have made together their family? their friends? their students? it suddenly it seems so small because with the support they have nothing can ever beat them because Dumbledore is gone Voldemort is dead and they did their best to help those kids age be damned

There is so much more that I would love to add to this, and I could but I should get back to homework, unfortunately. I just had a thought and had to write it down. I would also like to turn it into a fic but time escapes me

If for some reason someone sees this and they want to make it into an actual full blown fic, please tag me bc I would live to read it.

I might come up with a part two, who knows