#PLEASE WAIT FOR MY REPLIES GENNY..

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom! :) We've finally reached the ep we've all been waiting for. The gif below is pretty good description of how I felt when I turned Hulu on this morning LOL

OH my word. I knew this episode was going to be good but I had no idea how end to end good it would be. I mean obviously we were all racing toward that hotel scene. But holy hell. The journey to it was just as good tbh. To quote Sandy Cohen "The appetizer is as good as the main course.” That truly was the case here.

I saw 'S' in the rating and knew we were in for some GOODNESS. I wish the gif library would work for the amazing gifs right after an ep. I'm sure tons have been made. But that'll have to wait till my in-depth ones this summer.

Been trying to keep these brief since their first impressions. But I couldn't with this one. They made it impossible lol Also apologies for any errors that may be in this. I wrote this while having a fever and on cold meds lol. Let us get started on this fabulous ep before my head implodes any further.

7x06 The Gala

We start out at Tim's place. Please let us continue to return here. It's such a happy place for me. Also Genny is backkkkkk I'm so excited. We have missed you my friend. I hope you appear again this season. Makes me so sad Tim saying he’s single. He’s never ever said that in a sad tone before Lucy or post anyone else really. Only her. *sad sigh* This ep hurts so good.

Genny has come with a mission in mind though. Only thing is she needs Tim for it. LOL I am glad she didn't imply he needed to start dating as well. She sure as hell knows where his heart lies. Their sibling dynamic never ceases to amuse me. Wanting to use him to get into the Gala haha Shoot your shot Genny. Get it girl.

Tim of course tries to talk her out of it. Clearly he had zero plans to be there. But his sister is changing that for him. Begrudgingly accepting her plus one offer. Citing he wants to bed asleep by 11pm if he does lmao I love this man. If he only knew where his night would end. Definitely wouldn't be that plan...Such a good big bro doing this for her. I need more of them in my life. I really do.

Seth is MIA and I'm pretty ok with it. Need a break from the kid. The day starts out so great. Grey has them running the arrest your ex event. I'm dying. When I saw this I thought phew lord this is gonna be gooooood. I felt it in my bones.

When Lucy says happy to do it…Tim’s face kills me. I’m dying. If only she could see his dismay. I know she could sense it. She isn't jazzed but isn't going to cause a scene in roll call. So she runs with it. Despite Tim's annoyance.

Tim giving her grief the very moment roll call is over. Lucy is ready with her reply. Had that on deck really quickly there Luce lol Almost as if she had it saved on her phone already....#grumpycop says what? LOL Let the flirting goodness begin. Being married af no matter what. I love them so much. *happy sigh*

Oh my goodness I’m cackling right off the bat. Grumpy x Sunshine in all its glory in this first scene. ‘Really can’t think of another reason?' I'm dying. Tim is so very over this and it's just begun for them. This is classic banter vibes for them and I’m here for it. Lucy trying to be the kind empathetic one. Tim having ZERO patience or tolerance for this nonsense. Letting her know right away he's not a killer. Just a cheater....Lucy's face. Classic.

Lucy calling Tim ‘sir’ and then showing him grumpy cop I cannot you guys. This is so good. I'm grinning ear to ear. Even post relationship she has this man wrapped around her finger. He is at her mercy and will do whatever for her. We see him give in. Turn on his best fake smile and dole out some advice. I'm so giddy I could cry.

‘Was that so hard?’ ‘Pure agony.’ Their banter at it's finest. This is primo level stuff. I wanna inject it into my veins so I always feel this giddy. The level of happy I am right now, I can’t even tell you. Hard to put into words honestly.

I’m loving Lucy keeping him in line and smiling while doing so. All she has to do is tap her phone. Could you be more in love with his grumpy ass my friend? She is very much enjoying this. We all know she loves her grumpy old man. I can’t get over Tim just listening cause she asks him to. Only for his girl. He is beyond fed up with this situation. Especially this man with his puke in a jar. LMAO.

Only Lucy Chen could make this man be friendly to this idiot. He then gets some points back and says they’re super cute together. Why yes sir they are. Thank you for noticing. Anyone with eyes can see their chemistry. But props for pointing it out. Then asks if they’re dating? We’re trying get back there my man. Climbing our hardest. Slow and steady wins the race and all that.

Lucy saying they're just 'co-workers'. Mmhmm and John Nolan is my favorite character. This dude has the audacity to ask her out after that. ‘You’re holding a jar of your own vomit. I’ll pass.’ If you aren't laughing at this I can't help you. This is pure comedy gold.

They finally get a real one. Just as they're about to close shop. This woman comes up very ready to take down her boyfriend. Then she hits on a VERY specific note. ‘You don’t put your drama on someone you love.’ Lucy’s face...That definitely struck a chord. Giving her flashbacks to 6x06. Tim too I am sure of it. Their looks say it all if you ask me...

Of course Tim wants to make it a bet. It's part of their love language to do so. I love this episode so much I’m vibrating. Lucy says his guess is boring LOL I mean it is. I love you Timothy but hers about legos is way better. Tim has to give her hard time about that being her final answer.

She ends up agreeing with him that it’s jewelry ha She just had to throw a Lucy like answer in there before she gave into his logic. Agreeing with him but wanting to add some flare before she did so. heh God I love these dorks.

Oh my. Tim asking her if she’s going tonight? I love the look he gives right before he asks. Just keeps taking his shots with her. My man. She got a room for Galentines but Celina has her dude now…..Frees up the room…. ‘So who knows what’s gonna happen?’ I’m percolating with excitement at this point. I didn't even need coffee as I wrote this to wake me up this morning. This was doing the trick just fine.

Lucy is surprised he is going. Then her anxiety asks the question she's scared to know the answer to. Does he have a date? His answer trails off before he can finish. Oh Timothy don’t do that to her. Leave her hanging. I mean he was gonna tell her it was Genny before he was interrupted. It wasn't intentional but ugh nonetheless.

Let’s take a moment to dissect her expression. Look how distressed and crushed she looks. My heart. So in love with this man still. This hurts so good. Before he can address her absolute panic their van pulls up….Oh Lucy. So distracted she doesn’t even hear him mention that.

Instead of jewelry it ends up being a friggin Tiger.... Her excitement is infectious and makes me smile. I would be the same way. I am Lucy she is me. Exotic animal that could rip my face off but I am still jazzed. Wanting to see it. Tim's face after she gets all excited is too funny. You love this goober of a woman don't deny it.

This scene is VERY VERY telling IMO. Also I am hoping a set up for things to come later this season for them. In terms of having THE talk. Tim your therapy hasn’t fully hit yet and it shows in how he reacts to this man's decision. At first he tries to empathize with him. Then turns his cop brain on. Saying he might as well throw her under the bus too. Get off a little easier. Telling him to just do it since she betrayed him anyways. That she's given up on him. No way he could still love her despite the betrayal...Careful Tim your trauma is showing my sweet.

Tim has grown in a lot of ways since 6x06. Truly he has. This is a sticking point he hasn't gotten through his lovely skull yet. That someone can love you despite the ugly stuff. Despite you not being perfect. Love you just the same and be deserving of that love even though you messed up. It's striking a emotional chord with Tim and he doesn't even realize it. Lucy can't stand it and that's why she tells this man not to do it. It's hitting far too close to home for her.

Lucy showing in this moment why we all love her. Why Tim is such a goner for her. That sunshine empathetic human shining through in this scene. Her forgiving spirit showing up in the most beautiful ways. It's the reason Tim fell so damn hard for her in first place. Why he fell in love all over again the second half of s6. The kindness and empathy shown towards him from her. When he thought he had betrayed her so deeply she would've thrown him to wolves.

What he hasn't figured out yet is she would NEVER ever do that. Regardless of the deep hurt, she stood by him when the chips were down. He still is a WIP in terms of that. it shows in his initial reaction to this situation. Lucy instructs this man despite the hurt not to do it. Tim's look reminding me of the one from 5x19 when she pleaded with her eyes to let the father go.

He ends up caving even if he adds some sass in. The way Tim looks at Lucy when he says 'Lock me up.' Looking at her smiling face. Oh Tim connect the dots my love please. If not now then in the near future. This scene gave me all the feels. We still have some work to do in terms of their relationship. Tim in particular.

Lucy’s relief at seeing Genny is written all over her face. You can see she is ecstatic she's Tim's 'Date.' Also just happy to see her in general. I have no doubt they hung out when they dated. Ganged up on Tim from time to time as well.

Genny forcing Tim to engage. Asking doesn't she look amazing? Tim melting like butter. ‘She always does.’ This man gushing about her in front of other people. This is the change I'm talking about right here. Gah I’m vibrating you guys legit vibrating. The sweet stares I'm diabetic at this point. Lucy can't hold his gaze long especially with company around.

Genny tries to lighten the mood with saying she is ready to flirt it up. Asking if Lucy wants to join her? Lucy’s shot about not dating people at work…Tim's cue to go to the bar. lmao I’m dying this is fanfic level goodness here everyone. I’m delirious. Genny's face is everything after he leaves. Even Celina's date realizes it after they depart. Asking something going on between them? Yes sir. it's been brewing all damn day.

Lucy coming to Tim worried about Balian is sweet. But Tim gives it all of two seconds of thought before he's pining after her. I mean look at those heart eyes. That smile. One I'm sure he flashed her anytime they were alone at home. The man is an absolute marshmallow for her. Lucy calls Tim out for his extreme heart eyes and Lucy smile. Holy cow is this real life?

She knows that smile so very well. You can’t look at her like that, Timothy. Especially looking like a damn snack leaning against that bar. It’s not fair. She has every right to tell you to stop devouring her with your eyes babe. There is a little bit of Tim Bradford Bedroom eyes in that stare too. Mercy. I would be a damn puddle if I was her. Why she has to call him out for it. Basically saying he can't stare at her like that anymore.

It's not fair to her heart to look at her like he loves her. *heart clutch* He then turns around and flirts some more with the grumpy cop thing. Making her laugh with him being the biggest goober ever. I love this side she brought to life. Their smiles as Genny approaches make me squee. I'm nuclear with excitement at this point. He really has softened for her it’s unreal. Making her laugh makes my heart so happy. I can't even. Had to pinch myself to make sure it was real.

Poor Genny can’t get a date cause of Tim. Lmfao I mean we can’t be that surprised? Still that’s hilarious and I’m laughing so hard. She just wanted to get a date and they're all too frightened of Tim to do so. He seems pretty proud of that fact. Cocky Tim coming out to play a bit. This ep has everything. The cute shared look afterwards is very cute.

If we didn't know they were apart you'd think they were together. Lucy turning down the invite out after Tim’s little joke. Stating it's because of an early shift. That doesn't seem to stop you later....Not that I'm complaining. Lucy is about to lose out on her room with Celina hitting it off with Scott...But Nolan’s suite becomes available…..I’m fine letting them rise out of the ashes of Balian's fight right now I really am. Sorry Balian shippers. lol

Just when I think this ep couldn't get any better. We get a sexy Tim takedown. *fans self* Not gonna lie I crossed my legs a bit when I saw this go down. *grabs some ice water.* This episode was gonna kill me before we even got. to that hotel room. Ovary explosion x1000. It's hard to keep Feral Caitlin in her cage with scene like this. Hot damn this is attractive. Lucy touching him instantly after he is done. I'm here for it.

Only reason for this gif is what's going on in the background. Look at Lucy jumping into wife mode taking care of Tim immediately. The attentiveness right out the gate has me reeling. Taking his jacket off for him. Checking him out. I’m lightheaded with happiness. I hope you are as well. I was on cloud 9 at this point and we hadn't even gotten to the hotel room yet.

We get to watch Lucy go into worried wifey mode and never leave it. The sweet way she touches his neck. I'm dead. I am posting from he grave. Lucy lets him know he has a cut there. Luckily Tim has a room they can go to.... Thank you Nolan. He tries to handle it himself but she isn't having it. So she comes up with him… I was getting all tingly with anticipation at this point.

Lucy has Tim take his shirt off make sure there’s no more glass or cuts. Mmmm won’t hear me complaining…. Was kinda relived the kit was there waiting for them. No chance for interruption if it wasn't. I honestly thought it would be the thing to stop them.

Mmmm shirtless Tim. Welcome back to my screen. Yum. God he’s gorgeous. Her resolve was crumbling when he had clothes on. Now he has no shirt….. God speed Lucy Chen lol

Heh calling Tim tough guy oh my word. The banter never stops and I don't want it to. The little joke of unfortunately he will live. Followed by his smile *screams into a pillow* I'm in heaven. The flirt train is continuing to barrel through this episode at mach speed.

My god it’s the soft thanks and you’re welcome in tandem. I’m a puddle. Suddenly he is all in her space and her words die out. She tries to replace them with a shaky ' We shouldn't....' The longing looks I cannot. Before it was bedroom eyes at the bar, with some heart eyes mixed in. This time it’s legit all heart eyes with intense longing he’s aiming at her.

He misses her deeply, and it's evident in the sadness that fills his expression when she says they shouldn't. Gah. Take a look at him after he says 'I know.' The depth of longing he conveys through just his eyes is truly unreal. Any resolve she has left looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes crumbles below.

The way he just tosses his shirt and devours her completely has me reeling. Nothing matters more in this moment than her. He gently envelops her in his arms. The soft way he cradles her face in his hands, like she is his greatest treasure. Because she is. The way he chases after her lips. I’m a damn goner. Feel like I'm in a fever dream.

Captures her top lip like he's done so many times before. Giving me 5x12 vibes with this make out. Lucy's hands all over him in the process. Touching her way down his body. Phew lord. Also like to note I think it's very important Lucy be the one to go for it in this scenario. He would’ve stepped back because she said they shouldn’t. Respected her bounds. But she can’t fight it any longer and goes for it.

And holy cow does she ever go for it. The impatient needy noises coming from her I’m dying. The desperations is real. The moment her lips meet his and her fingers graze his skin, she’s completely defeated in her struggle to resist him. Resist this pull of their's. Wastes no damn time undoing his belt buckle sweet lord. You can hear it. She is ready to go. As is Tim. She has lit a flame and he isn’t wasting a second of it. The needy desperation has me fanning myself.

I love the way he spins her around, savoring her with tender affection. All the while he relieves Lucy of the tie on her dress.*fans self* He is just burying himself in his hair and neck. Losing himself completely in her. I might implode with how tender and sexy this is. The music is on point as always. Tim is chasing after her when she turns around and brings him back to the bed. His desperation coming through ten fold.

Doesn't waste a millisecond before he's diving back in for more when she turns around. Lucy’s face. Holy hell. You can see how much she missed this. Missed him. They’re in it now and she can’t stop herself. There’s still some conflict playing across her features. Knowing they shouldn’t and yet she can’t stop herself from wanting this man. She is conflicted then his lips rejoin her neck and she melts into him. All logic flies out the window after that.

There is a song from one of my fav bands Digital Daggers. From their song ‘In flames.' This moment reflects it IMO.

'Keep your confessions 'Cause babe I'm no saint , We're playing with fire But I like this game And I know your devils I know them by name When you look my way Oh, I'm not afraid With your kiss on my skin And this mess that we're in

In flames (we're going down, we're going down, we're going down) '

Definitely playing with fire in this moment and we're here for it.

We get the morning after. I was not expecting this in the least. But this episode continues to surprise me in the best way. Also hello chest hair on Tim. They need to leave that for future reference. I’m very much for it. Holy cow everything about him just makes me so damn feral it's insane. He is sex on two legs walking. Man he looks good.

The awkward looks upon waking up have me cackling. Tim's face when she starts to get up LMAO. Eric the king of expressions came to play. Tim breaking the awkward tension by saying he's awake. Lucy replying 'Right. Of course he is. He's like a rooster she remembers.... 'Ugh my heart.

I love Tim being the one to wanna talk this out. Again. He's gotta be the one to bridge the gap. Especially this go around. Not wanting this moment to pass by without suggesting it. Lucy of course even with her lapse in resolve isn’t sure why they would. She is still hurting and with good reason. Tim you gotta make this right babe. Oh my lord.

We see Lucy retreat at this offer of a talk. Passing it off as 'Classic case of ex sex on Valentines.' Oh it’s so much more than that my girl. I'm getting 5x01 flashbacks of ‘It's basic biology right?’ Lucy trying to have Tim give her the out of talking about this just like she did then. Pass it off as something that isn't a big deal when it is.

Tim shies away due to this. Agreeing with her ex sex theory although his body language does not in the least. Hoping he can at least hide his disappointment if he turns around. Feeding her a line about it being a singular moment in time. Mmhmm...Sure. Lucy agreeing with his BS line.

That fear running through her and needing a way out to avoid this conversation. So she runs with it. Trying to talk herself out of it more by saying it needs to be in their rear view. Never to be talked about again. Tim's defeated and slightly hurt 'Great...' Lucy can sense it. You two are idiots but I love you.

Gah, you can watch the internal battle on Tim's face. Reminds me of 5x01 once again and him psyching himself up to talk. We get our first ‘Lucy.’ of the season. Definitely was not where I expected it to be. Sadly after he builds up the courage he just says 'See you at the station'…*forehead smack* Oh you two. Killing me softly. She wanted him to go for it and he didn’t. Disappointment just littered all over her body language when he doesn't.

Lucy looking like she wants to go back in but the door closes. UGHHHH. Effectively making the decision for her. It is a good she wanted to go back but this is Tim's fight ya'll. And he knows it. He's so frustrated with himself for not fighting more for her in this moment. Lord this is good but killing me. Hurts so good never felt more prevalent than it does in this scene.

Tim ever the gentlemen having her enter first. His chivalry never ceases to make me happy. The energy in that elevator is charged to say the least. So Lucy straight up says she didn’t regret their night together. I love this. Letting him know she has zero regrets about jumping him last night. Heh Tim replying right back saying him either. These two idiots in love. What am I going to do with you?

Lucy adding in it it can’t happen again. Ok sure…..you both messy. And I’m not mad about it. Tim's sad 'I know.' Not agreeing it can't ever happen again. Just he knows it shouldn't...Lucy following that up with it can't for a million reasons. I mean they haven’t had THE talk yet so I get it. I truly do.

That's definitely one of the reasons for me. As fun as that lapse in judgement was, it still needs to be followed up with a real convo. Tim coming up with his own reason of the Chain of Command issue. *Grumble* he is back in her chain of command again even with being her being a T.O. Le sigh. Even though their tones suggest they could give a single fuck that he is this time around lol That definitely wouldn't keep them for repeating the night before is my guess.

The flirting my god though. Tim using grumpy cop again to make her smile and laugh. We all know she loves his grumpy ass. It's one of the things she truly loves about him. That smile after he says that tells me everything. That most definitely is on the list of BS reasons for why they shouldn't. Tim keeping the flirt train going by saying he wasn’t grumpy last night though. Heh no you were not.

Her face my god you two. ‘No, you definitely were not.’ No transparency at all saying how happy he was last night with her. She doesn’t stop him either knowing she wasn’t 'grumpy' either. They're not even trying at this point. Basically saying they had a great night in bed together. No regrets. One of their many things they're so good at hehe. Imma need a fic of that night LOL The flirty smiles and stares. Tim almost reels her back in with it. The ding of the elevator breaking them out of their UST filled revere.

Lucy trying to keep it together as she exits. Tim hot on her heels. Ooooh lord I’m excited to see where this goes. Tim you still have some work to do. That much is clear. I'm glad them hooking up didn't serve as a fix all. Because this SL deserves more than that. They deserves more than that. The promo for 7x07 ‘Don’t make the same mistake I made with Lucy. Fight for her.’ Um sir you need to fight for Lucy right now. She is waiting on you for it.

I hope this Balian crisis puts that into focus for Tim. Because if this ep proved anything it's that. He needs to fight for her more and prove to her why she should give them a second chance. The feelings are clearly still there. So much so she relapsed into her resistance to keep him at bay. Hot damn this was a good episode I am buzzing. I cannot wait to see what the rest of this season holds for them. Gimme Gimme.

Thank you thank you to anyone and everyone who loves, comments (love me some comments) and reblogs these. They are a true joy for me to make. So I am grateful for any and all engagement with them. I shall see you all in 7x07 :)

Side notes-Non Chenford

#grumpycop. Only cause it’s Vday and he has no Lucy. Also anniversary of the necklace…amazing though. Fantastic cold open.

Wes is too excited for that he’s tipping his hand. Glad Angela figured it out without Wes compromising his lawyer oath. Using that dude to get her stuff done LMAO.

Look at Celina just taking charge cause Nolan is distracted af at a scene. Proud of her. Scott dude seems tad needy don't love that.

Sad about Texas and his girl but realistic af. Appreciated that.

Bailey being pissed about the judgement. Can't say I blame her. I mean instead of understanding John jumped right to judgement but he is also right in being upset she didnt' share that with him. Shall see where that goes.

[falcqns]

for the first time (whats past is past)

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Lucy Chen & Tim Bradford

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Tim calls Lucy in the middle of the night, hoping to every god that exists that her number hadn’t changed, and to every angel that she would pick up despite how he had hurt her.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: canon divergence, angst with a happy ending obviously, Chenford. tagging @natashasera. Title is from Begin Again by my mothaaaaa 

don’t forget to read and reblog, and i do not give permission for my works to be posted anywhere other than tumblr. thank you.

“Please pick up,” Tim whispered to himself. He sniffed, trying blink back the tears that were gathering in his eyes. He knew he was stupid for doing this, for calling her; if he were her, he wouldn’t pick up the phone, especially after he had done what he did. She had needed him, and he had left her, and he wouldn’t blame her for doing the same to him. 

But, whatever gods that he had prayed to before hitting her contact must have heard his prayers, because just as he was about to give up, the ringing stopped, and he heard static for a brief second, before hearing a sound he thought he’d never hear again - Lucy saying his name in her beautiful, melodic voice. 

“Tim?” She said quietly, and Tim choked back a sob. 

“H-Hi,” he whispered. There was rustling on the other end for a brief moment before Lucy responded. 

“What happened?” She asked, her previously neutral tone shifting to concerned. 

Tim chuckled quietly. “Why do you assume that something happened?” 

“Because you wouldn’t be calling me in the middle of the night if it hadn’t.” 

Tim hung his head, sighing. “Y-You’re right.” He suddenly regretted calling her, he didn’t want her to think he’d only called her because he needed something, because that was far from the truth. He did need something, but she was the only one he wanted to call. Everyone else would look at him with pity - which he understood, because how sad is it that him, a nearly 40 year old man was broken up with and humiliated at a party? But still, he knew that if he had called Angela or Genny, they would have pitied him, but Lucy wouldn’t do that. She would feel bad for him, but he knew that she knew (better than anyone) that these things happened, and it was important to move on and not be stuck in the past. “I uhm..” He began, but stopped, unsure how to explain it without sounding like he was in high school. 

“Tim?” Lucy asked again, and this time, Tim cleared his throat before speaking. 

“I uh - I was at a party, with my girlfriend, and we got into a fight. It was stupid, but it caused her to freak out, and basically start bashing me in front of all of her friends.” He explained. 

“Im so sorry Tim,” Lucy said. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘bashing’ you?” She asked, and Tim chuckled sadly.

“Well,” he began. “She thought it was appropriate to bring up everything from my past, more specifically the things I had told her in confidence, like what happened with Isabel and my dad, and things I was ashamed about, like how I treated you.” He confessed. 

Lucy sighed on the other end, and the rustling could be heard again. “Tim, I’m so sorry that happened to you, you didn’t deserve that.”

Tim shrugged, even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “Kinda feels like I did, but right now I just want to get away from her and her friends, but I’m stranded. You were the only person I could think of to call who wouldn’t pity me.” 

Lucy laughed quietly. “Of course im not going to pity you, I learned my lesson with that when I was your rookie.” Tim laughed in response. “Send me the address, and I’ll come and get you.” 

Tim sighed in relief. “Thank you.” He said, and sent her a text with the location of the party. 

“Okay,” Lucy said, looking at the address. “It’ll take me about 20 minutes to get to you, but I’m leaving pretty much right now,” she said. “I’ll see you when I get there, okay?” 

“Yeah.” Tim replied. “Thank you again.”

“It’s no problem, Tim. I’m glad you called me.”

—— 

27 minutes later, Tim saw Lucy’s Gray Acura RDX pull into the driveway, and he was finally able to move off of the rock he had been sitting on. He walked over to her car, and opened the passenger door, sliding into the seat, and shut the door behind him. Lucy smiled at him, before reaching out and pausing the music she had been playing. 

Tim glanced at the screen, and his brows furrowed when he saw the song “I See The Light.”

“Why are you playing Disney music?” 

Lucy pointed behind her, and when Tim tuned his head around, he was shocked to see a car seat facing the back of the back seat, and a mirror on the headrest, allowing him to see the sleeping infant, no more than 6 or 7 months old, in the carseat. 

“Tangled is her favourite.” She said, putting the car in reverse, and backing out of the driveway. “And she was not too happy to be taken out of her sleep sack before she was ready.” Lucy said, a smile on her face. 

“Im sorry,” Tim apologized immediately. Not only did he wake her up in the middle of the night, he had her wake her sleeping baby up, to come and get him from a party in the middle of nowhere, when he could have just called an Uber.

Lucy shook her head. “Don’t be,” she said, reading his mind. “She was going to wake up soon for a feed anyways, so it’s all good.” 

Tim nodded, his head turning back to face the road. “I uh,” he said, glancing down at his hands before speaking. “I didn’t know you were a mom.” 

Lucy nodded with a smile. “Yeah, I am.” She said. “I love it more than I thought I would.” She explained. “I mean, I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but the second she entered the world, I knew I’d love it more than anything in this world.” 

Tim smiled. “I’m happy for you, I know how much you’d wanted the whole marriage and kids thing.”

Lucy nodded, eyes on the road. “Actually, just the kids. I’m not married.” She said. She looked sideways at Tim briefly, and answered his unasked question. “I’m single.”

“Oh,” Tim responded, unsure what else to say. 

“Yeah,” Lucy nodded, glancing back at her baby. “Chris wasn’t too keen on being a father.” She explained, and Tim shook his head. 

“What an idi- I mean dummy head.” He said, glancing back at the baby briefly, making Lucy laugh. 

“Its okay, you can swear.” She said. “I don’t care, and It helps her development, so swear it up.” She said, making Tim laugh. 

“What an idiot.” Tim continued, before shaking his head. “Nope, can’t swear. Feels too weird.” 

Lucy laughed, and Tim smiled looking over at her. He had missed that sound more than anything, and he knew it was all his fault that he hadn’t heard it in nearly two years. 

“Anyways, Sanford is a dummy head for doing that to you.” Tim continued. 

“I know, but it’s not the first time someone has left me when things have gotten hard.” She said, and Tim nodded sadly, knowing that she was referring to him now. 

“I know, and I’m-“ Tim began, before Lucy cut him off. 

“if you say ‘I’m sorry’ one more time, I’m pulling over and you can walk.”

They both laughed, and Tim opened his mouth once more. “Okay, okay I’m-“ he began, before him and Lucy glanced at each other, and immediately looked away as they both burst into laughter. 

Their laughs were cut short by a cry from the backseat. Lucy reached out, tapping the ‘AirPlay’ button on her car display, and bringing up the Tangled soundtrack again. 

“I’m sorry, Mae Mae,” Lucy said, looking into her rearview mirror, where she could see the reflection of her daughter. “Look, Mama’s playing your music.” As soon as Mandy Moore’s singing voice began to float from the car speakers, the infant calmed down, and looked out the window.

The car was quiet for a few minutes, and Tim wouldn’t admit it, but he actually enjoyed the Tangled soundtrack. He then decided to break the silence, wanting to know more about what he’d missed in the Lucyverse the past almost two years.

“What’s her name?” He asked, referring to the baby in the backseat.

Lucy swallowed nervously before she responded. “Her name is Maple.”

Tim’s heart pounded in his chest, a wave of gruelling grief, the same wave that had washed over him for months when he left Lucy that had stolen his ability to take care of himself, crashed over him once more. 

Maple was the name that they’d chosen together. Tim hadn’t liked it at first, but the more he’d thought about it, the name Maple Bradford definitely had a ring to it. When they’d broken up, he knew he was still going to use the name if he ever had kids, but he didn’t think that she would, especially after he left her the way he did. 

“Y-You used the name.” Tim said quietly, and Lucy nodded. She looked over at him, and his heart broke even more when he saw that she had tears in her eyes. 

“Yeah,” She admitted. “It was the only name that made sense to me.” She said, and upon seeing Tim’s confused look, she elaborated. “When I was in labor, I was all alone. It was the middle of the night, and I was woken up by the worst pain I had ever felt. I knew I was in labor, and was so scared of giving birth alone that I drove myself to the hospital. Once I got there, I was so scared, and didn’t want to disturb anyone, so I gave birth alone. The entire time, the only person I wanted beside me, I knew I couldn’t call.” She said, sniffling as she spoke.

“Who?” Tim asked, a little afraid of the answer.

“You.” She said, glancing at Tim. “I wanted you by my side. I wanted you to be there, holding my hand, and encouraging me. I wanted it to be you to be her father, not someone who never wanted her in the first place. But I couldn’t call you.” 

Tim turned his body to face her. “Luce, I would have absolutely came and been there for you had you called me, you know that right?” 

Lucy looked at him, a serious look on her face. “Do I, though?” She asked. “How was I supposed to know if you’d come and support me, after you left me when I needed you the most after I made P2?” She asked, and Tim looked down in shame.

He had done that. She had been struggling with him not being by her side on patrol, and was having separation anxiety and jealousy with him and his new rookie, and he, instead of supporting her and understanding, got mad at her and ended things. Which he immediately regretted, but regretted even more the next day when Grey told him that she had transferred, and hated himself when he went to her apartment, only to find that she was gone. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” He said. “I hate that I did that to you. I shouldn’t have just given up on you, on us like that. I should have supported and understood you, not walked away. I regret ending things.” 

“Well, its in the past now.” Lucy said. And Tim sighed sadly. 

“So theres no hope for us, is there?” He asked, and Lucy looked over at him.

“Of course theres hope,” She said, pulling her car into his driveway. “I’ve always had hope that we’d find each other again.” She put the car into park and turned towards him. “I’m glad that you called me.”

“I’m glad you answered.” He said. He then glanced at his front door, then at Maple, before his eyes landed on Lucy.

“Do you want to come in?” He asked, his voice shaking at the implications of what he was asking. 

Lucy smiled at him. “Of course we do.”

[clarepreed]

First Date

Story Content and Summary - 5,563 words. After recovering from the events in Stressed to Death, Ginnie and Holly are on their first official date. Despite their obvious chemistry, a freak accident threatens to tear them apart forever. Commotio cordis, on-site resuscitation.🏳️‍🌈

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Ginnie waited on a bench outside the restaurant, repeatedly wiping her damp hands on her sundress. She wasn’t sure she’d worn the right thing; she liked this dress, and she thought she looked pretty in it, but now she was worried she was too dressed up. Or not dressed up enough. Ginnie tapped her fingers on her thighs, rocking slightly on the bench.

I’m too early. I’m just going to sit here and nervously sweat, she thought. Holly will worry if I seem nervous.

Then: When do I NOT seem nervous?! 

Ginnie huffed at herself and stood, automatically smoothing her dress down in the back and patting the skirt to make sure she hadn’t dropped her wallet or her phone.

“Hey, Ginnie! Are you okay? Am I late?” Holly’s husky voice interrupted Ginnie’s spiraling train of thought.

Ginnie whirled around, her face blushing hot. Holly stopped a few steps away on the sidewalk, looking cute in slim fit brown pants and a boat necked shirt. Ginnie squeaked out: “Hi! No, you’re early! Um… I’m just nervous.”

Before Holly could reply, Ginnie blurted: “Just a normal amount of nervous. Not ‘die on the sidewalk’ nervous.”

Ginnie was looking at Holly’s nose, but she still took in the strange expression that passed over the other woman’s face.

I’m making her uncomfortable.

Ginnie opened her mouth to apologize, but Holly interrupted her, her mouth breaking into a wide smile. “I want to laugh, but I don’t know if I should.”

“Oh, please do,” Gennie said, her hands twisting in her skirt. “That’s why I said it. I joke a lot when I’m nervous.”

Holly took a step closer, her hands plunging into her pockets and then pulling them straight back out. Her eyes skimmed over Ginnie, setting off a warm tingly feeling in Ginnie’s belly. “Hey, um, you look really pretty. That’s a nice dress.”

“It has pockets!” Ginnie exclaimed, demonstrating by slipping her hand in one.

“That’s great. Uh… may I give you a hug?”

Instead of responding verbally, Ginnie lurched forward and threaded her arms around Holly’s ribs. She squeezed the taller woman tight.

“Yes,” she murmured, her lips brushing Holly’s collarbone. Holly’s arms folded around her and they stood for several seconds in silence. Finally, Ginnie said: “You smell good. Spicy?”

“You smell sweet. Like candy.”

“That’s because I ate a bunch of Jolly Ranchers on the bus.”

Holly chuckled. They were embracing for much longer than normal, or so Ginnie assumed. Not that she minded. She could hear Holly’s heart beating fast and strong beneath her ear. The other woman’s embrace was warm and firm. Tears suddenly pricked Ginnie’s eyes, and she murmured: “Thank you.”

Holly leaned back, though she didn’t release her grip on Ginnie. “Are you okay? What are you thanking me for?”

“It’s just that we haven’t seen each other since I got out of the hospital. Texting isn’t the same. Thank you for saving my life. I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable.”

“Not at all, Ginnie. I’m really glad you’re back in the city.” Holly laughed. “I was afraid you’d decide to stay with your parents. I mean, if you did, I was going to ask you out anyway. But it’s nice to have you here.”

“I’ve never dated a woman who hasn’t had at least one super long-distance relationship.”

“God, that’s so true.” Holly squeezed her and then released the hug. “Ready to eat?”

“Yes! This is my favorite restaurant!” Ginnie gushed, gesturing for Holly to follow her. “The owners are from Seoul and Atlanta. The menu is small but really varied and even my parents were happy with the food! They have the best starters… The acoustics are good inside, too. It’s never too loud. This place is my comfort restaurant. I hope you like it!”

Holly stepped up to the door and pulled it open. “After you. I looked up the menu when you suggested this place and it sounds great. Of course… I just really like food.”

There was a small line at the host stand, so they joined at the end. Ginnie pointed up at the vaulted ceiling. “They have art up there! Little sculptures of birds.”

Holly stepped close and looked up. Ginnie felt something at her side and glanced down, spotting Holly’s hand held out to her, palm up. She reached down and took it, a blush running up her chest to her face. Holly bumped her arm against Ginnie’s. “Was that smooth?”

Ginnie snorted and clapped her free hand over her mouth. 

“I made you snort,” Holly said, looking over at Ginnie. Holly pulled her pretty lips into yet another big smile. “And blush.”

Dropping her hand down to fidget with her skirt, Ginnie said: “I like you.”

Holly squeezed her hand. “I like you, too.”

���I don’t feel as shy as I thought I would,” Ginnie murmured. They were getting close to the host stand now. 

“Good. Only good vibes tonight.”

“How many?” the host asked. “Two?”

“Yes,” Ginnie and Holly spoke simultaneously.

“As soon as Tom gets over… Here he is. Enjoy your meal, ladies.”

They followed the server, walking through the dining room, still holding hands. Ginnie registered small sounds; the clink of silverware on plates, the murmur of voices, soft instrumental music. A snapping sound, followed by a sharp zzzzzzzzzt!

Something small and dark flew at them, too fast to avoid, and she heard a soft thump followed by a short huff of air from Holly. 

Holly dropped like a stone, so suddenly that Ginnie had little time to do more than clench the abruptly limp hand in her own. The weight on her arm jerked her down to one knee. Holly sprawled face down on the floor, making no effort to break her own fall.

“What the fuck was that?” she heard someone say, their voice loud in the quiet room.

“Holly?” Ginnie heard her own voice, high-pitched and wobbling with surprise and worry. She released Holly’s hand and turned to put both of her knees on the floor, her hands resting on Holly’s back. Her date lay still and silent, unresponsive to her touch or her voice. “Holly! What happened?”

Ginnie shook her, then looked up. The room fell silent; a few seconds later she heard someone tentatively call out: “Hey, is she okay?”

Crawling around to Holly’s other side, Ginnie leaned close to her face. To her shock, Holly’s big warm eyes were open, staring, seeming to look through her. Her lips were slack, a glistening line of drool stretching from the corner of her mouth down to the floor. 

“HOLLY! HOLLY!” Shouting in her panic, Ginnie dimly registered that she was kneeling on some kind of cord or rope, and she reached down to touch it. “What…”

“Is she breathing?” Tom the server asked.

Ginnie closed her eyes so she could concentrate and leaned closer, lifting the back of her hand next to Holly’s lips. She waited, her other hand coming up to stop her ear, using the closest one to listen to any sounds that might come from Holly. Eventually, however, she opened her eyes and stared up at the red-faced server. “N-no…”

“I’ll… I’ll get the manager,” Tom said, staring at them for several more seconds before scurrying away.

“Fuck the manager!” someone said. “Call 9-1-1!”

Ginnie rocked back and forth for a few seconds before she shook her head violently and reached for Holly. 

I need to put on her back, right? Ginnie pushed on Holly’s shoulder and hip, rolling her clumsily onto her side and then tipping her onto her back. Holly flopped as though her bones had dissolved. Ginnie gasped, spotting a dark stain soaking into her pants. She peed herself? That can’t be good.

“That!” a woman’s voice. The dining room was growing loud now, as people shouted and pushed back their chairs. “That thing on the floor! That’s what hit her!”

It should be me, Ginnie thought wildly, desperately trying to filter out the sounds in the room. Holly’s the one who knows what to do!

“Someone call 9-1-1, dammit!” a man shouted. A glass smashed to the floor and someone ran by in clicky-clacky high heels.

“I did! I did, I’m on the phone—”

“Miss!” A woman’s voice cut through the din. “I’m Melissa, the manager. What happened?”

Melissa crouched at Holly’s other side, then reached out to tip her head back, opening up the line of her neck. She leaned close, her ear by the unconscious woman’s slack mouth. Holly’s tan skin was growing ashen by the second, and Ginnie realized with a sick feeling that her lips were turning blue. “She’s not breathing!” the manager snapped, and then she leaned over Holly, her fingers moving along the lifeless woman’s ribcage.

Ginnie watched as the manager pressed the heels of her hands between Holly’s breasts and then pushed down hard. Holly let out another huff of air, and Melissa called out: “One!”

Numb with shock, Ginnie stared as the woman’s clasped hands pumped Holly’s chest, making her stomach pop up against the waistband of her pants. She could see the shadow of her ribcage bobbing up and down in time with the shrug of her shoulders. 

“…six, seven, eight, nine, ten—Miss? Are you comfortable giving her breaths?”

A few seconds passed, and Ginnie stammered: “Wh-what? Breaths? Yes, I…”

“Tip her head back to keep her airway open! Twenty-three, twenty-four…”

Ginnie’s hands shook as she rested one hand on Holly’s forehead, then the other on her chin. She vaguely remembered doing this years ago in her college health class. Of course, that had been a mannequin. Not happy, sexy, kind Holly.

Help her, help her, help her…

“…twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty! Pinch her nose, NOW!”

Ginnie pinched Holly’s nose and then bent over her, hesitating only a second before drawing a deep breath and sealing her mouth over Holly’s. She heard a rush of air between them as she exhaled forcefully. 

“Faster!” the manager ordered, and Ginnie gave Holly a second quick breath. Holly’s mouth was soft and damp, her skin still warm with the life that had flowed through her moments before.

Then the manager continued chest compressions. Ginnie remained hunched over Holly, her fingers pinching her nose and her other hand on Holly’s chin. She could feel her head wobbling from side to side as Melissa worked on her. Her gaze fell unbidden on Holly’s dark eyes, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Holly, Holly, Holly, Holly…” she muttered under her breath. Her own heart pounded a panicked rhythm. 

“…ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…”

“There’s an ambulance on the way,” a man said from somewhere above her. “But my friend went looking across the road for an AED!”

“…twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty!”

Ginnie was faster this time, her mouth closing over Holly’s and delivering an efficient breath that made her date’s chest rise before she broke the seal. It rose again quickly with the second breath. Holly’s forced exhale blew into Ginnie’s face as the manager resumed chest compressions.

“One, two, three, four, five, six…”

She felt herself rocking over Holly’s motionless form and made herself stop, swallowing hard. Her eyes burned with unshed tears, though Ginnie couldn’t identify what she was feeling other than panic.

“—flagged one down at the intersection! They’re coming!”

“…eighteen, nineteen, twenty…”

“An ambulance?”

“Are we in danger from the other—”

“—cops coming, too? ‘Cause—”

“Twenty-eight,” Ginnie muttered in time with the manager before dragging in a breath for Holly. She covered her lips, hoping they weren’t cooling off, that she was just imagining things. Two breaths, two lifesaving kisses.

I wanted to kiss her for real, she thought, and then blurted out: “Is she dead?”

No one answered her.

“…nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen…”

Ginnie released Holly’s nose and patted her cheek. Her voice came out quiet and broken. “Holly, Holly, Holly… No…”

“…nineteen, twenty, twenty-one…” Chest compressions looked painful, though Ginnie knew Holly couldn’t feel them now. She thought she could hear the occasional crackle when the manager’s hands forced Holly’s chest down to beat her heart.

They hurt later. They hurt a lot later. They’ll hurt her later if she—

“…thirty!”

Ginnie pinched Holly’s nose and pushed two breaths into her lungs. A tear rolled down her cheek and dripped onto Holly’s chalky face. Ginnie wiped it off with the back of her hand.

“Everyone out of the way, let the medics in!” boomed the same man looming above her.

Everything seemed to speed up. Two people in dark blue uniforms pushed through the crowd, wheeling a gurney as they hurried across the room. Someone put a hand on her shoulder and said something she didn’t understand, though when they grasped her elbow she got the idea. She found herself sitting in a chair close by as the medics relieved the manager and one of them pressed gloved fingers into Holly’s neck.

“I’m going to close service,” she heard the manager say. “Quickly. No bills, no to-go boxes. Just politely get everyone out of here. I have to call Gray and tell him…”

“What happened?” the other medic asked, though Ginnie wasn’t sure who he was talking to. He’d opened a duffel beside him and was holding a plastic piece next to Holly’s face.

“Something hit her in the chest,” Ginnie said. Her voice came out too quiet, and she cleared her throat as he slipped the plastic piece between Holly’s teeth and turned it. “Something hit her in the chest and she just… fell…”

The first medic had already started chest compressions, and his hands looked huge against Holly’s chest. She could see Holly’s chest sink and her stomach bulge up each time he rolled his shoulders down.

“That’s it!” the man with the loud voice said. A man with a bald head and broad shoulders leaned into Ginnie’s line of sight and pointed at a silver-colored hunk of metal laying on the floor. An eyelet protruded from the top with a piece of frayed rope threaded through it. Several feet away were the scattered remains of a sculpted bird. “Those fucking birds, man…”

“Strike to the chest,” the second paramedic said. He finished assembling some kind of mask with a large bulb on one end and a line of tubing that lead to what Ginnie recognized was an oxygen canister. As the first medic paused compressions, the second pressed the mask to Holly’s face, lapping his fingers over her chin. His other hand squeezed the bulb twice.

“Get her on the monitor,” the first paramedic said. “One, two, three, four, five…”

“Cops are here,” the loud man said. “Uh, wife wants me to get out of your hair; I see her waving from the door.”

“Thank you, sir,” the second medic said. He’d pulled what looked like a duffel with an old school computer monitor in the front close to Holly and then drew a pair of shears out from another bag. He snipped the neckline of Holly’s shirt without preamble, then quickly cut through to the bottom when his colleague lifted his hands. He snipped Holly’s lightweight bra down the middle and across the straps, and then compressions resumed.

Ginnie blushed as Holly’s chest and stomach came into view. The other medic cut off the rest of Holly’s shirt while the first thrust his hands rhythmically into her sternum. Holly had moderately-sized, round breasts with large aureola, which wobbled in time with each chest compression. 

“Miss?”

Ginnie blinked and looked away from Holly, toward the source of the voice.

Tom, the server, stood next to her, trying not to look at Holly. His face was pale aside from two ruddy spots on his cheeks. “Um, we are closed. I am sorry, but we need you to leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere!” Ginnie gasped, incredulous. Anger made her face go hot and a few more tears squeeze out of her eyes. “That’s my… that’s my… that’s Holly, and—”

“Not her, Tom! Jesus, go back to the front.” Melissa, the manager, stepped between Tom and Ginnie. “That’s her girlfriend!”

Ginnie looked back at Holly. The man with the mask was giving her breaths, and as soon as he laid the mask down, he reached for a large packet. He cut the top open with the shears and dumped out a set of what Ginnie recognized as defibrillator pads and leads. As the first medic continued rocking his weight into Holly’s sternum, the second tore the backing off the first pad and smoothed it onto the skin above Holly’s right breast.

Holly’s head tipped to the side. Her eyes were still open, wide and startled-looking. Her chin nodded with each compression. 

“Miss? Miss?” A hand gripped Ginnie’s shoulder, and she flinched, pulling herself out of the manager’s grip. “I’m sorry, jeez, I… What’s your name?”

The second pad went on Holly’s side, below her left breast. Shortly after, an angry-sounding alarm filled the air 

“What?” Ginnie asked. The compressions looked scarier now that Holly was half-naked. She had an athletic body, but Ginnie thought her collarbones and fingers looked delicate, and the extended line of her neck appeared fragile as the medic turned her face back upright, pressing the mask over her nose and mouth. Ginnie gripped the seat of her chair, swaying side to side.

“Your name, sweetie.”

“Ginnie.”

“Pause for analysis,” one man said.

“There’s our backup,” the second said. Two more paramedics walked quickly through the restaurant, carrying their own set of bags.

“V-fib. Charging to three-sixty.” 

Ginnie’s eyes darted from the newcomers to Holly, sprawled on her back with a medic pushing hard and fast on her chest. The medic suddenly raised his hands, and the other said: “All clear. Administering shock.”

“Ginnie, how—”

Holly’s torso jerked, and her limbs flinched. The second her body stilled, the original pair of medics switched places. Another pair of gloved hands found Holly’s chest and started forcing her sternum down toward the young woman’s heart. Steady beeping sounds emitted from the cardiac monitor.

“What have we got?” one of the new paramedics said. “I’m James, this is Sandra.”

“Chris and Scott. Witnesses say our patient, Holly, was struck in the chest by that counterweight. She was in ventricular fibrillation when we analyzed and I’ve given her one shock. James and Sandra, I need her intubated and her blood pressure.” Chris handed over Holly’s mask. “I’m going to prep a push dose of epi.”

“What?” Ginnie remembered that the manager was trying to talk to her. “What was that? I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize, sweetie. Do you have a ride to the hospital when it’s time?”

“A ride?” Ginnie briefly squeezed her eyes closed. “A ride to the hospital?”

“I can take you. If you came here in an Uber or something… let me drive you.”

“I rode the bus…” Ginnie pressed both of her hands to her face. She could hear one of the medics quietly counting out chest compressions.

“Okay,” Melissa said. “Why don’t you let me drive you? I’ll pull my car up behind the ambulance and we can follow them.”

“Okay,” Ginnie said. “That’s fine. That’s fine. That’s… fine.”

“Do you know how to get hold of her family?” Melissa asked. 

Ginnie dropped her hands into her lap and opened her eyes.

The view was even more frightening now. Four paramedics working on Holly. One of them injected something into Holly’s outstretched arm. Another continued to perform deep and rapid chest compressions, making Holly’s body rock and her stomach pop. A third pumped up a blood pressure cuff. The fourth, a woman, had Holly’s mouth open and a metal device wedged between her teeth. The woman held a tube in her other hand.

“Pause compressions,” she said. She was lying on her stomach, her face close to Holly’s.

Her name is Sandra.

The medic pumping Holly’s chest stopped. She saw Chris pluck a stethoscope from around his neck and plug the earpieces into his ears. Sandra quickly but carefully fed the tube down the metal device and into Holly’s throat.

Holly’s family.

“I have her mom’s number,” Ginnie said, her hands slowly reaching for her dress pocket. Chris had the bell of the stethoscope to Holly’s chest. “I… I can text her.”

“You’re in,” Chris said. “Continue chest compressions!”

Sandra unhooked the bag and used white tape to secure the tube in place, taping one end to Holly’s cheek, winding the tape around the tube and then tearing it off and pressing the end on Holly’s other cheek. She did this with a second piece of tape and then reconnected the bag. Ginnie watched her squeeze the bag between every ten or so compressions. 

Ginnie slipped her phone from her pocket, unlocking the screen automatically.

“Will you be taking her to South or Harper?” she heard the manager ask.

“Harper,” Chris said. “Pause to analyze in five, four, three, two, one… Come on, now… Still in v-fib. Charging to three-sixty.”

“While you’re texting her mother, Ginnie…” the manager paused until Ginnie looked over at her. “While you’re texting her mother, I’m going to move my car, okay?”

“Oh… k-kay.” Tears ran down her cheeks again, this time at the thought of telling Holly’s mom what had happened.

“Everyone off? Clear…. Administering shock.”

Holly bowed up and relaxed. James slid in and took over chest compressions. Ginnie noticed he had black gloves instead of blue like everyone else.

Holly’s face was more visible now that she’d been intubated. Staring eyes. Full lips parted around the tube protruding between her teeth. There was a quiet whooshing sound every time Sandra squeezed the bag. Scott leaned in with the shears and cut from the waistband of Holly’s pants down to her knee. Then he pressed his fingers into her thigh crease.

Ginnie cradled her phone in her hands, opening the messaging app. She didn’t want to contact Holly’s mom. Not while they were resuscitating her. Not while a stranger shoved his hands between her breasts. Not while a tube ran down her throat. Not while a man connected her to an IV bag. Not while her pulse points were exposed and pressed.

Not with her ashen skin and bruised chest, her staring eyes.

What the fuck do I say? ‘Hello, Mrs. Diaz Aguilar. It’s Ginnie. We spoke that one time. Um, I have bad news. There was an accident with a bird in the restaurant. I don’t know what happened, but something hit Holly in the chest and now she’s dead.’

Ginnie swayed side to side, trying not to break out into sobs as she typed out: This is Ginnie Courier. Holly had an accident. They are going to take her to Harper General.

“Administering amio,” she heard Chris say.

The paramedic’s hands on Holly’s chest made noises with each chest compression. His gloves squeaked against each other and her soft-looking skin. His weight thumped into her unresponsive body. Ginnie wondered if she would still hear puffs of air escaping her if she were closer.

Her mind trailed back to her own time in the hospital, before her parents had made it up to see her. She’d wake up and Holly was always there, holding her hand. Dozing sometimes, but waking up as soon as she stirred. She was tender, even though they were essentially strangers to each other. Strangers with crushes and a strong, if newly formed, connection. Even in her hospital bed, her chest burning with pain, Ginnie felt her body respond to Holly’s touch. Holly’s smile. Holly’s voice.

I should have tried to kiss her then, she thought. But I was afraid it was too soon.

“Analysis in thirty seconds,” Chris said. He finished cutting off Holly’s pants, leaving her in a simple pair of hip-hugging underwear. Ginnie watched him run his hands and eyes over her legs; she assumed he was looking for injuries. As soon as he released them, Holly’s legs rocked in time with the relentless thrusts to her chest. He hadn’t removed her shoes, and Ginnie realized with a pang that they were both wearing a pair of high top Converse shoes, just in different colors.

“Pause compressions for analysis…” Chris had his fingers to the crease of Holly’s thigh again, and his eyes were on the monitor. “Still in v-fib. Resume compressions while I charge to three-sixty, then I want Sandra to sub in on the next round.”

Ginnie’s thumb hovered indecisively over the “send” symbol, the digital paper airplane that would send Holly’s mother down a spiral of anguish. Her own parents hadn’t learned of what happened to her until she was already stable. It had to hit differently. Even so, her parents had been acting strange ever since. Mom was over-solicitous. Dad kept giving her money.

Holly’s body rocked under another ten chest compressions and then the paramedics all leaned back, raising their hands.

“Everyone clear? Administering shock now.”

Holly flinched, her back coming up slightly off the floor, her breasts shaking, limbs jerking. She’d barely stilled, alarms screaming, before Sandra slid into place, her hands slotting between Holly’s breasts. The cycle of compressions and breaths continued. 

Ginnie sent the text, shaking with sadness and trepidation.

“One, two, three, four…” 

Holly remained limp. Scott squeezed the bag, sending oxygen into the tube running down Holly’s throat. Chris gave her another injection. Sandra rolled her shoulders over her hands, palms pumping Holly’s sternum. Holly’s stomach bulged, and her legs rocked.

Ginnie’s phone vibrated in her hand. She looked down and saw that Holly’s mother was calling her. Instantly, she felt as though her throat had closed up.

I can’t…

“…nine, ten! One, two, three…”

“Hold compressions! Rhythm and pulse check!”

The medics pressed their fingers to Holly’s neck, wrist, and groin. That’s when Ginnie noticed her eyes were closed.

“Holly?” she whispered.

“Sinus rhythm!” Chris said, sounding excited under his professional facade. “Pulse confirmed. We’ve got her!”

What’s wrong?!!!!! Holly’s mother texted. What happened?

Holly is aliv, Ginnie texted back, her fingers clumsy. call n a minute

Then she clutched her phone to her chest, rocking as she broke down into sobs.

Days later

Ginnie paced back and forth across the waiting room, her hands busy with a plastic tangle fidget. She had the vague feeling she was bothering people, but she felt like she had to keep moving or she might explode. She kept her path as far away from other people as she could. She had a single earbud in, her favorite playlist cranked a little too loud for hearing safety. She was trying to drown out her own thoughts, though she didn’t want to put in both earbuds and miss someone calling for her.

Ginnie’s mind kept filling with terrible images: Holly staring up at her with dead eyes, Holly intubated, Holly’s bruised body sprawled out under a paramedic’s thrusting hands.

Holly is okay. Her mom said she’d let me know if anything changes. I’m going to see her in just a bit and she will be okay.

“Okay, okay, okay…” she muttered, her voice muffled underneath her mask.

“Ginnie?” A familiar woman’s voice interrupted her anxious train of thought. Ginnie looked up and spotted Holly’s mother, Gena. The older woman looked tired but happy, her gray-streaked hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head and her generous lips drawn into a big, encouraging smile. A surgical mask dangled from her left ear. “Hey. Are you ready to come see our Holly?”

“Yes!” Ginnie blurted, quickly putting her earbud back in its case and dropping it into her bag. After a moment’s hesitation, she dropped the tangle inside as well. “Is she okay? Is she awake?”

“Yes, she’s awake. And she is doing much better.” Gena held her arms out to Ginnie. “May I have a hug?”

Ginnie nodded, her voice disappearing somewhere deep inside of her. She let Gena embrace her, her own arms sliding around the other woman’s back. Gena squeezed her tight.

“I know you said you didn’t do much, but my understanding is that when EMS arrived, you and the restaurant manager were p-performing…” There was a long pause, and when Gena continued, her voice was husky. “You were helping her. Every second was important. Thank you, Ginnie.”

Ginnie felt her face burn hot as she squeezed the other woman back. After a moment, Gena released her and leaned back to look her in the face.

“I’m not stressing you out too much, am I? Holly, bless her, was worried about stressing you out. I suppose I don’t blame her after what happened to both of you.” Gena pulled her mask back over her nose and mouth and gestured at Ginnie, apparently not noticing that Ginnie was looking everywhere but Gena’s eyes. “Come on, Holly will wonder what I’ve done with you.”

Ginnie followed Holly’s mother down the hall, her fingers worrying the strap of her crossbody bag. Eventually, they arrived at a room with Holly’s name written on the marker board next to her door.

“I’m going to go get some coffee,” Gena said. “Holly doesn’t have a roommate as of this morning, so the two of you will have a little privacy. Can I get you anything from the cafeteria?”

“No, but thank you,” Ginnie said, though her attention was already pulling her into Holly’s room. She didn’t hear Gena’s reply.

When she stepped inside, she spotted Holly instantly. Looking smaller than her true height, leaning back against pillows with her hair tied back. Her eyes were closed, full lips slightly parted. Ginnie hurried to the foot of Holly’s bed and then froze, her fingers tapping against the thumb of each hand. Holly opened her eyes and yawned.

“I’m sorry,” Ginnie blurted.

“What for?” Holly asked, yawning again.

“You’re tired. And they wouldn’t let anyone but your mom come see you in the ICU…” Ginnie felt her throat grow tight and her eyes water. “But I am really happy to see you, Holly.”

“You can take your mask off in here, Ginnie.” Holly rubbed her eyes and pushed herself up higher on the pillows, wincing. “If you want to.”

“Oh! Can I help you with something?” Ginnie asked, hurrying to Holly’s side. Then she snatched the mask off her face and crammed it in her bag. 

“No, I’m okay. But thank you for asking.” Holly reached out for Ginnie’s hand, tugging her closer. “You look pretty. But tired.”

“I’m fine.” Ginnie wrapped both of her hands around Holly’s. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore and tired,” Holly said. “But otherwise I’m really good. I have one more test and then I get out of here. It’s looking like I’m going to be fine. I guess sometimes people have to have an implanted defibrillator after something like this, but my heart is okay.”

She tipped her head at the monitor at her bedside, then gestured at the leads snaking their way out of her hospital gown. “All this stuff tickles.”

“I’m really glad you’re okay,” Ginnie whispered. A tear trailed down her cheek. “I thought you were going to die.”

“Oh, hun, please don’t cry.” Holly squeezed her hand. “I’m okay. Thank you for helping me.”

“I didn’t know what to do! If the manager hadn’t stepped in… Holly?”

“Yeah?”

“When you feel better, will you teach me what to do? I took CPR in college but I didn’t really remember…”

Holly fell silent and her cheeks flushed pink. She reached up with her free hand and tried to ruffle her hair, only to remember that it was still tied back.

“Oh, I shouldn’t have asked!” Ginnie blurted. “I wasn’t thinking…”

“No!” Holly protested, letting out a nervous laugh. “I want to teach you. When I’m not so sore, and I’m out of here. We can… practice.”

“Thank you.” Ginnie sighed. “I don’t want to feel helpless like that again.”

“Hey,” Holly said. Her face was still pink, and she gave Ginnie a sly look. “I can think of something else we can do while I’m in here.”

“Yeah?” Ginnie asked.

“Kiss me,” Holly said, her voice husky and deep. “Please?”

“Before one of us dies?” Ginnie asked. Her heart hammered in her chest, and she felt the tiniest bit lightheaded.

“Sure,” Holly said, chuckling. “Whatever, I just want to kiss you. Please.”

Ginne released Holly’s hand and stepped closer to the bed. She knew her fingers were cold, but she touched Holly anyway, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, then tracing her jaw with her fingertips. Leaning in, she pressed her lips to Holly’s.

Holly’s lips were soft and warm, and Ginnie felt her hands come up, cupping the back of Ginnie’s neck, threading lightly through her loose hair. 

Instantly, Ginnie wanted nothing more than to climb into Holly’s hospital bed and stretch out alongside her. Their lips parted simultaneously, and the kiss deepened, tongues plunging and hands clutching. Holly took an audible breath through her nose, her chest heaving.

Ginnie broke the kiss, worried by the panting sounds coming from Holly.. She kissed around her soft mouth and murmured: “I’m sorry, I’m smothering you.”

“I’m okay!” Holly protested breathlessly. “I’m not dying, that was just really good! I think we’re on to something!”

“I promise we’ll do that again when you’re out of the hospital!” Ginnie kissed the tip of Holly’s nose.

“Can we do it again now?”

-- Ginnie and Holly return in Practice.

[isca-rambles]

5x11 Lucy loving her man being so helpless over a coffee machine. Tim being the worst fucking liar in the world how did this man survive even one minute of UC work. Lucy probably writing up 20 pages of research for any possible questions that anyone might ask. The little smiles they have for each other. Tim's hatred of screenwriters. The flirting. My god the flirting you two please calm down you're in a police station. Nothing will have to wait until later. Tim and Aaron friendship and banter is everything. Why. Whhhhy. Lucy and her overwhelming desire to protect everyone. Beautiful sunshine human being. So did Tim text her he was going to be coaching at this moment. Did he tell her? Did she ask? Or did she ask Genny? Because Genny does not seem surprised to see her there and Tim does that adorable little 'hey' when he sees her like the adorable boy in love he is. But look at her there supporting her man. Giving him back-up when she sees him struggling to be a little more strict. Oh my god his face when she says 'friend'. He knows what that 'friend' means and he is very happy. Their little flirting with the ball. Genny pointedly not looking at them as they turn back around because she 100% knows and she's trying to give them their space until they're ready to tell her. Their little fumbles when Genny teases about how well they work together. How close they're constantly standing. Ahhhhh. Wes is probably making note of how close these two are standing so he can report back to Angela later. Tim's face when Lucy says Nolan is a badass in the streets. Hah. Oh my boy. He knows Nolan is vaguely badass as a cop, but he also knows Lucy is 100% the baddest of asses. Ugh, she's pure sunshine but that means her heart keeps getting broken a little bit every time she goes through shit like this. She's strong enough by far to handle it and stay a ray of pure sunshine, but it still hurts to see her hurt. Hello Elijah. I'm not sad to see you, I just know it'll mean more Monica soon. Ugh. My god Lucy and Tim are so married. Look at him reining her back in when she needs it, just like he does for her. God they'd be the best parents. I don't know if we'll ever get to that point on the show, even if they do get back together, but it's wonderful to think about. And I know it was part of a bet but their little high five turned hand holding is fucking adorable.

Angela and Nyla with front row seats to watch Chenford fail at pretending they're not together. It's probably one of their favourite pasttimes. Texting James and Wesley updates. 5x12 I know cold opens don't really count but Tim's face when he recognises Kelly. Grey's face too! What a secret fangirl. Tim letting his girl go in the elevator first as well, like the cutie he is. She was clearly further away and he held the door for her and waited for her to go in first. And then after Lucy speaks to Kelly, she looks up at Tim with this 'OHEMGEE' expression. You can imagine him trying to be all 'calm down' but secretly thrilled his wifey got to meet one of her singers. Tamara really should be a detective. But also oh my god just imagining her looking out the window or something and seeing Tim drop Lucy off. A little good night smooch. Can you just imagine her squealing a little on seeing them and realising they got their act together? Mildly furious Lucy hasn't told her yet and plotting when she'll corner her next and tease her until she slips? Lucy immediately replying that she knows exactly how she feels. It's the most amazing relationship of her life. The certainty she has in what she has with Tim, especially considering how unsure she's been in all her past relationships and even in herself. Being a cop and being with Tim. Those are the two things she knows without hesitation. OH MY GOD THE HANDS. THE HANDS. THEIR SMILES. BUT THE HANDS. LOOK AT THE HANDS. So desperate to touch each other even though they saw each other probably barely hours before. Tim trying to play it cool given what Lucy just told him. The looks they're giving each other right in front of everyone. Grey absolutely knows without question. My god you two you cannot be flirting this hard in the station. Also, Grey, please. Why would you assign Nolan to this. You have other officers. It doesn't have to be Nolan! This just seems like the worst idea. Nolan knows who Oscar is but he's not that hard of a book to read.

God I do love Oscar though. Annoyed he's bringing Jason back in S7 but I forgive him. Poor Angela when that realisation hits. God Lucy is just literal sunshine. Look at how she looks at him. I know some people don't like how she dealt with the whole Lucy lesson thing and the earrings, but she's Lucy. She's got this planned out. And Tim needed to be shown. Maybe there was a better way but everyone else has done a lot worse to prove a smaller point. And yes, I am happy to let Lucy slide on pretty much anything. I'm weak. But oh, Tim so frantic to help Lucy out. He's got it so bad.

They'll figure it out. New Chenford tag that one. And they will. But they need to start properly communicating. Hopefully in S7. And that means Lucy too, not just Tim. She puts the same walls up that he does, she deflects, and she spirals, hard. I get the spiralling, I really do, so I feel for her. But she has to communicate back when he opens up. Oh Angela, baby, no. Tim's smile dropping, hah. And yes, another classic communication. Her thinking they cancelled. It's small but it's there. God her smile though. And he can't help but smile back. Ugh. Monica. They only have two real options, and neither of them even takes a second to consider breaking up as an actual option. You know, despite the fact that yes, they shouldn't be riding together regularly if they're a couple, they still work so well together on the job. No matter what their relationship is like, they never have an issue once they're out on patrol. Her taking that bit of lint off his shirt. Tim forever refusing to accept that they're partners on the job and her little play shove. Uuuugh. The sad look of realisation she gets, knowing they won't be able to see each other as much. They've spent so long together, day in day out, before they were even close to being in a relationship, and now anything less is just not enough for them. Tim makes his mind up right in that moment that he'll be the one to change jobs. He doesn't want to see her any less either, but he can't see her sad like that for any longer than he can help it. Taking the bags from her uuuuuuugh these two MY HEART. Grey's been waiting for this conversation for so long. He's not oblivious. Look at that happy little smile he has for them. He knows it's going to be difficult for them, he knows it's not perfect, but he also knows how important this is. How important it must be to Tim, taking a desk job. But Grey can see the effect Lucy has had on him over the years. He's seen how happy he's become. Aaaand, while an incredibly sweet and romantic gesture, Tim making that decision without Lucy being involved is another sign of their communication issues in their personal lives. No sense in arguing about it. It's done. How much that echoes forwards to S6 when he decides alone that they have to break up. No arguing. It's done. Uuuuuugh these two better have the communication skills of a fucking poet in S7. Aaaaand what more can I saw about this scene. My god the UST. Their hands. Their smiles. Their eyes. Her face admiring him. His hand against the door to stop her head from hitting it. The giddy smiles disolving into intensity. The door slam. Her hair against the door pane. I CANNOT WITH THESE TWO.

[lunam00na]

An Unlikely Affair: Chapter 2 - Down the rabbit hole..

Amélie spent the few hours she had left sorting out what little belongings she had and distributing them amongst some of the other peasants she had become familiar with from her years of working various temp jobs. The peasants were thankful, but curious as to why she was giving away all of her things. Her response was that she was going to stay in another nearby city, where some long lost family lived. Though she felt a little guilty for lying, she knew from the odd context of the letter that it was best that nobody knew where she was truly going. Not to mention the fact that the instructions stated she was to wait under some bridge in the darkness of night to catch a ride to the palace. 

Her gut quivered at the thought of being alone on these dangerous streets at night.. “Lets hope I survive long enough to actually get to the damn place..” she thought wryly. With her belongings gone, and nothing left for her to do but wait, Amélie gave a final goodbye to her small home. Coarse, wet wood brushed against her fingertips, as she placed the palm of her right hand against the shack’s door. With a sigh, she muttered under her breath, “Goodbye, you. You’ll make someone else a small refuge now.” She lingered like that for a moment, recalling a handful of good times she had spent here in the city of Grimshores. 

Her wild blonde hair was dampened from the rain; it waved back and forth in the wet breeze. She wore a brown overcoat, littered with holes that she had patched herself with whatever bits of fabric she could find. Underneath was a simple white day dress, which was more of a tan color now from the dirt and mud, than white. The clothing clung closer to her skin the longer she stood in the rain; she was skinny as a rail. 

“Okay, it’s time to go,” she rasped, her nerves getting the best of her for a second. Her head finally managed to convince her legs, and so she set off for the bridge east of town. It would take her nearly an hour to reach the bridge by foot; judging by the position of the moon in the sky, she guessed it was already past midnight. The walk gave her mind time to wander; she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to the words Genny had written, than just a job opportunity. The thought crossed her mind that this was some sort of trick, perhaps she was going to meet some clever fiend under that bridge, and she would be mugged, raped and killed.. Or forced to become a prostitute for the benefit of some sick and twisted man.. 

“No. Don’t think of that,” Amélie corrected herself sternly, quickening her pace. She walked briskly down the dimly lit sidewalk. Now she was out of the slums, almost at the edge of town. The streets were all but dead, aside from the occasional homeless person sleeping on whatever dry spot they could find. Still, she found herself slipping her hand into her coat pocket, clutching a crudely fashioned knife. The letter had instructed her to bring no belongings, but she simply could not travel this far in the dark without some type of protection. She knew that if she were attacked, there was little she could do despite having this shoddy knife; but she would not go down without a fight. That was for damn sure. 

Her mind turned to the Prince.. The King. Would she meet them? Surely the King would take no interest in meeting a lowly servant such as herself. But the Prince? Maybe. Genny did mention he had come to her himself in search of help. Her cousin must have made a grand impression on the Royals. It shouldn't surprise Amélie, her cousin was quite bodacious for someone of their social standing, and she was a damn good cook. A smile played upon the corner of her lips; reminded of the trouble the two of them had gotten into during their childhood. "Hard to believe we will be together again," Amélie shook her head and snickered. 

Finally after what felt like an eternity, she made it to the bridge where she was supposed to be picked up. There was nobody here yet, or at least that she could see in this darkness. She drew closer to the bridge, inspecting the surrounding area before rounding the side and ducking underneath the wooden structure. There was nothing around but trees, and some other vegetation. A small creek ran beneath the bridge, and she was careful not to fall in, lest she wanted to catch a cold. She gripped a wooden beam with her hands, steadying herself there. The constant trickling of water made it difficult to hear if someone was approaching. By her estimate it was almost time for her ride to arrive. She waited, her eyes searching amongst the darkness for any flicker of movement. 

A few minutes passed, and suddenly the sound of hooves pounding the earth reached her ears. Amélie swallowed hard, her heart flickered anxiously beneath her breast; she felt like it was trying to break free. She put her hand over her mouth, trying to mask her heavy breaths. The rider grew closer, and finally stopped on top of the bridge above her. A moment passed, then the rider dismounted; the thud of their feet against the wooden bridge sounded loudly in her ears. Amélie cringed and grabbed hold of the knife inside her overcoat, just in case. 

Her heart thumped so loudly in her chest she was afraid the rider could hear it.. She stood slowly, inhaling and exhaling a deep breath, and prepared herself for what could happen next. The water was still flowing somewhat loudly under the bridge, but the rider was so close, Amélie could hear their feet brushing against the grass. Her hand clenched tighter around the handle of the knife; finally the rider appeared in front of her. 

He held a small lantern in one hand, the faint glow illuminated his features. Their eyes met, and for reasons unknown to her, Amélie's heart skipped a beat. 

"Are you Amelie Waters?" The stranger asked, his voice low and husky. She followed the movement of his lips with her eyes, she had heard him speak but was too distracted to answer. His eyes were the loveliest shade of hazel she'd ever seen, and they held such warmth behind them. She almost immediately felt at ease with this man; which gave her a sense of comfort yet concerned her at the same time. How was this stranger able to dazzle her within seconds of their first meeting? She felt like some silly teenager with a crush; her face heated in embarrassment. 

His hair was dark and curly with a messy short style. His face was handsome and he had a strong angular jawline to match. He was quite tall, having to duck under the bridge, and he would surely loom over her in his normal posture. 

"Ma'am? Are you Miss Amélie Waters? If so, we really should be going." The man repeated in his low, hushed voice. Amélie blinked once, twice, and then straightened herself. She felt utterly ridiculous that the man had to repeat himself because she was too busy oogling him. She shook her head once, breaking their gaze before speaking, "Y-yes, I am Amélie Waters. I'm sorry for not answering you sooner.. Anyway, uh right.. We should be going now." Oh God. He must think I'm an imbecile. She groaned internally, mentally giving herself a facepalm. 

The man smirked for a moment and then composed himself once more. "We can make more formal introductions later, but for now we should get going. People will be getting up for work soon and I'd rather we not be seen." He said firmly and motioned for her to come with him. "Of course," Amélie replied, following his lead up the creek bank and onto the wooden bridge. His horse was waiting there, it's coat was as black as the night itself. 

He took the reins in one hand and hoisted himself upon the beast with the other. 

"Need a hand?" He asked politely, outstretching his right arm to her. She took the offered hand silently, thinking it best not to say anything lest she make more of a fool of herself. With his help she sat in the saddle behind him, her torso pressing against his back. She felt her face flush again; hotness rushing to her cheeks, and she tried not to think about their close proximity. 

"You have to hold onto me like this," he instructed, reaching behind him and gently grasping her hands then placing them on his sides. Her heart started racing again, but she did as he said and held onto his sides tightly. The last thing she wanted was to fly from this horse. At this rate it wouldn't surprise me.

"Okay, let's go!” Her chauffeur commanded, and his horse began a gallop toward the castle. 

Amélie stifled a shriek as the horse tore off down the winding dirt road. Oh my god he’s trying to kill me. Her fingers dug into his sides and she buried her head between his shoulder blades. She couldn’t help but notice his scent; he smelled of musk and sandalwood. It pleased her that he smelled so good, because most of the peasants she had lived around didn’t have access to soaps and perfumes. It was a rare occasion that a man walked past her and she found his scent attractive. So far it seems everything about this man is attractive.. She mused, and then scolded herself for being such a tart. Am I so sex depraved that I fling myself at the first decent looking man who doesn’s smell like horse manure? She questioned herself internally with a chuckle. 

True, she had been quite some time without intimacy. It was at least 4 years since she last had sex.. There wasn’t much time to think about her next boot knocking when she was fighting to survive on the streets. 

“You hanging on alright back there, Miss Waters?” The man asked abruptly, shaking her mind from the gutter. She blushed furiously, even though she knew he couldn’t read her thoughts; thankfully. “I’m fine,” she muttered into his back, “I’ll be even better once my feet are back on the bloody ground!” He chuckled at her response; he had one of those laughs that made you want to smile. The man replied, “I’m sorry, Tuck doesn’t go slow!” Amélie scoffed, “No shit! You don’t say?” That earned her another laugh, she could feel the vibrations from his laughter in her hands. It gave her a warm feeling. She hadn’t felt so light in such a long time. 

The rest of their ride was uneventful and silent. At last they came to a slow trot in front of the castle gates. She had never actually seen the place in person; it was a sight to behold, even in the dark. They rode past the gates which automatically swung open as they approached. “Strange,” she thought, “you’d think there would be more of a security protocol in place for entering the palace grounds.” She summed it up to the guards recognizing who her chauffeur was. 

They came to a stop at a side entrance to what she guessed was the main part of the castle. The stranger dismounted his horse and offered her a hand down. “There you are, safely escorted with your feet back on the ground.” He said with a smug look on his face; his lips hinted at a smile. She smirked and couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him. “I never caught your name, by the way?”

“Apologies, Miss. My name is Roman. Roman Octavius Reynolds. I am the Prince of Albanon and heir next in line to the throne.” 

Her heart stopped. 

[langdxn]

A request "Missing You" by John Waite with Duncan Shepherd? Maybe the song reminds him of his ex and the really bad heart brake he went through , sees her in a public place while he waits for his wife. He's now a happy married man and makes sure his knows. Please and thank you!

So I had a huge dilemma over whether to make the reader his ex or his wife... I hope I’ve made the right decision! Also this is an amazing song, I’ve heard it all my life but never knew who it was by so thank you for that! 🖤🖤🖤

Duncan Shepherd wasn’t one for eye contact with strangers.

It wasn’t that he had anything to hide, he just preferred not to make any form of interaction with the people of DC. If someone spotted him and grilled him about the app outside a downtown branch of McDonald’s, he’d never live it down in his family’s social circle.

After an arduous day in the office, Duncan called his shift to an early end as he raced from the Shepherd Freedom Foundation headquarters to his wife’s favourite store to surprise her. Waiting outside the glass doors, he idly glanced into shop windows just to avoid looking like an impatient husband waiting outside a department store, faintly listening to the nostalgic tunes booming through the doors.

Every time I think of you

On the rare occasion his head lifted to catch someone’s eye, his eyes fell upon hers.

His heart dropped like a stone.

I always catch my breath

Diverting his gaze away from her as quickly as possible, his breath hitched in his throat.

The girl that broke his heart was waiting outside the next store. The blonde-haired, green-eyed siren that lured him to his downfall a matter of years before. The Medusa of his past, the person who made him feel as if he had turned to stone. That is, until he met his wife. His beautiful, loving wife that showed him how to live again.

And I'm still standing here

Fidgeting his fingers nervously, Duncan’s palms started to sweat under the pressure of her glance as she continued to look in his direction. He panicked, reaching into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes and sparked up with a shaking hand.

And you're miles away

Venturing to look back as he drew a toke, he clocked the rest of her appearance. She looked just the same as the day he threw her out. She wore the same vacuous smile, the grin that concealed a multitude of unfaithful encounters.

And I'm wondering why you left

It would have hurt less if she’d changed. Dyed her hair. Worn more makeup. Dressed differently. Held herself differently.

It would have hurt less if she didn’t still live in DC.

And there's a storm that's raging

The years he spent forgetting her flew straight out of the nearest window the second those eyes stared back at him. The same eyes he used to gaze into while making love to her. The same eyes that swore she wouldn’t cheat on him. The same eyes that remained emotionless as he lay shattered on the kitchen floor, reeling after finding countless texts from her other lover.

Through my frozen heart tonight

“What are the chances of seeing you here?” A familiar voice startled him from his day-nightmare, spinning on his heels to see those same eyes right next to him. “Still smoking, Dunc?”

A shiver vibrated through his very soul at the use of his old nickname. The name she used whenever she’d committed her another indiscretion and needed his forgiveness to get through the day. The name she used when she answered his calls while screwing her side dick.

I hear your name in certain circles

Duncan froze. The ultimatum between exuding agonising politeness and spitting vitriol at point-blank range tore away at his insides. There really was no backing out of the situation now, no shaking her off and running in the opposite direction, no pretending she had mistaken him for someone else.

And it always makes me smile

“Hmm?” He hummed back, low enough in the hope she hadn’t heard him. “Oh, hi.”

“You’re miles away, honeybee.” Another pet name that surged bile up to his throat. “How’ve you been?”

I spend my time thinking about you

Her voice grated more now than ever before. Duncan swallowed hard, hand firing up to yank at his tie as if he was choking on the starched collar.

And it's almost driving me wild

“Ye—yeah, I’m fine,” he stammered weakly, eyes widening as he realised the implication of such a poor reply. Dismissing it with a curt shake of his head, he charged in with a second attempt. “Actually I’m great! And you?”

And that's my heart that's breaking

“Oh,” she sounded downhearted at the confidence in Duncan’s voice. “That’s great to hear,” she lied. “I’m okay,” she lied again. “What brings you out of the office so early?”

Down this long distance line tonight

“I’m meeting my wife as it happens,” he shrugged up his sleeve to check his watch. “She should be here any time now.”

I ain't missing you at all

“Oh right,” she nervously shuffled her feet. “I remember seeing her on the news, she’s beautiful. You’re punching, Dunc!”

Bitch.

“Too right I am,” Duncan cocked an eyebrow at the malice laced between her words, the loaded emotion weaving amongst the syllables taunting him into retaliation. He raised his cigarette for a long, awkward intake to busy himself.

Since you've been gone away

Would asking her about her life come across as if he was genuinely interested? He wasn’t, not by any means, but the silence between them was deafening Duncan to the point he would’ve rathered the ground swallow him whole. Scratching his stubble to occupy his shaking hands, he tripped over every word that came tumbling from his lips.

I ain't missing you

“Are... are you still working over in—“

No matter what my friends say

“Oh hell no,” she dismissed, waving gesticulating hands in the space before her. “I gave that up a long time ago. I’m applying for an internship at the White House right now.”

As if this conversation couldn’t get more painful for Duncan, whose cigarette in one hand neared its end and whose other hand brushed uneasily through his brunette curls.

There's a message in the wild

“That, that should be interesting,” he raised his eyebrows feigning interest.

“Yeah,” she sighed, rinsing her hands in front of her. “Listen, I’m really sorry about how things ended between us—“

And I'm sending you this signal tonight

“Baby!” You cried out as you swung open the store doors, wrapping your arms around Duncan as your shopping bags swung around his waist. “What’re you doing here, Mr Shepherd? You’re out early!”

You don't know how desperate I've become

“Of course, I figured I’d give a late night in Guantanamo Bay a miss so I could spend it with my beautiful wife instead.” Duncan leaned in to press a haunting kiss on your lips. As you pulled away, you caught a glimpse of a woman stood beside your husband.

And it looks like I'm losing this fight

“Oh I’m sorry darling, you’ve got company! I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you!”

Your words poured sincere and heartfelt through your genuine smile as every word ever did. Even though you knew perfectly well who the woman was, you gave her the benefit of the doubt and offered her a chance to dispel your apprehensions.

In your world I have no meaning

“I’m Genevieve—Genny,” she half-shrieked, her ear-piercing high pitch indicative of a crippling insecurity at meeting her ex’s new love. “It’s great to meet you, Dunc’s an old friend of mine.”

Two lies in one sentence, Duncan thought, this sounds much more like Genevieve.

Though I'm trying hard to understand

“Oh that’s wonderful,” you smiled warmly. “How did you two meet?”

The answer wasn’t important to you in the slightest; you had no reason to distrust your husband, you simply needed something to break the ice between you.

And it's my heart that's breaking

“Oh yeah, we met at college—“

“Yeah, college,” Duncan nodded, brushing the back of his neck and staring at the ground in the vain hope the discussion would end there.

Down this long distance line tonight

A stony silence fell between the trio, clawing for new ice-breaking avenues to pursue but finding zero in common except for Duncan Shepherd. No sooner had Genevieve scanned around the three of them for conversation starters, she noticed the subtle wording and colour coding on your shopping bags.

But I ain't missing you at all

“Any—anyway,” she stammered, shaking her own shopping bags demonstrably. “I better get home and drop these off!”

Since you've been gone away

“Sure, we better head back too,” Duncan nodded, hands shoved in his pockets to avoid a farewell embrace at all costs.

I ain't missing you

“It’s been wonderful to see you again, Dunc, and to meet you, Y/N.” Genevieve’s words poured from her mouth faster than she could process them. Waving a hand out to Duncan, she smiled awkwardly. “Let me know when you’re next free, we could go for a coffee and a catch-up? That’s if you’re not too busy with the Shepherd Freedom Foundation, though.”

No matter what I might say

“Sure, sure,” Duncan spluttered, shrugging and staring at the gleaming tiles beneath his boots.

“Have a great day, won’t you?” She grinned, spinning on her heels and pacing hurriedly away into the crowd.

And there's a message that I'm sending out

“Well fuck,” Duncan huffed as soon as she left earshot. “I’m so sorry about that.”

Like a telegraph to your soul

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, baby,” you sighed comfortingly, looping your free arm into the crook of his. “We all have a past, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

And if I can't bridge this distance

“That one certainly is. Anyway,” he dismissed with a waving hand, gazing down at your bags. “What’s the Shepherd dynasty been funding this time?”

Stop this heartbreak overload

“I—er...” you stuttered, trying to conceal one specific shopping bag from his view but failing.

'Cause I ain't missing you at all

Duncan ventured a hand toward the baby blue carrier, holding it out in front of him to read the word etched in powder pink bubble print. Duncan read the brand name aloud.

“Maternity And Beyond?”

Since you've been gone away

You drew your bottom lip between your teeth, clenching until you felt your blood rushing to the impact.

“Look, Duncan, I can explain—“

I ain't missing you

“Are you?”

“I didn’t want you to find out this way, I was going to wait until you got home.” You reached into the bag and pulled out a baby sleepsuit, personalised on the back with the words Little Shepherd.

No matter what I might say

You scanned Duncan’s face for a response, terrified he would instantly overanalyse and worry himself about the situation. The conversation on starting your family together hadn’t been raised in months, he’d been so busy with the app and you had your own career to think about. For all you knew, he could storm away into the nearest surging crowd and never be seen again, that wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility with a panicking Shepherd.

I ain't missing you, no way

Once he picked up his jaw from the floor, Duncan scooped you up in his arms and span you around in a circle, shopping bags swirling wildly around you as he held you close.

“Duncan, be careful, the baby!” You chuckled as he suddenly dropped you back to your feet and resorted to holding you by the waist, dipping gentle kisses into the nape of your neck and onto your hair.

Since you've been gone away

“You’re really pregnant?” Duncan beamed from ear to ear, planting feverish, grateful pecks all over his beautiful wife as she giggled into his touch.

I ain’t missing you

Across the street, Genevieve watched her ex drop to his knees and plant a loving, haunting kiss on your abdomen.

Duncan was not missing her at all.

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphire 83

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Title & Song: Baby Says

Summary: Alfie and Genevieve face the troubles of her day to day life. Genevieve gets some surprise visitors that help give Alfie some insight into her past and their future.

Warnings/Tags: Mild Language. References to assault and violence. PTSD. Fluff. Reunions. 

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.) Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

Arm in arm Alfie and Genevieve walk on a Saturday morning in her garden, in full bloom and lush this time of the year. Gen was freshly out of the bath, her hair starting to curl and bounce in the early summer wind. Her face was unbothered, her limp almost entirely gone and the more superficial of the bruises had disappeared. Her ribs only caused her pain when exerting herself at this juncture and when Alfie was around he made sure she did not. He’d fallen into the habit of treating her much like a child, but in his defense, she was acting much like one. Still prone to bouts of crying, sometimes with clear triggers and others not. The ones without were the hardest, she would sob and scrawl down that she didn’t know why she was so upset and Alfie was left to put on his all too frequently worn mask of indifference and guide her through it.

But this particular light and lovely morning was about to take a turn for the emotional for Genevieve. But in a much-welcomed way.

“Mr. Solomons, sir!” a maid that held his favor calls from the edge of the house. “Miss Durand has visitors!” she shouts with a bright smile.

“Don’t know why she’s bloody smilin’. Told her no one was to see you.” he grumbles, bringing Genevieve around slowly as her glazed eyes looked up at him, silhouetted by sunrays. The red in his hair and beard was standing out in the sun, his freckles coming in across his nose and the tight trim on his beard and hair showing off all the handsome planes of his face. She smiles up at him and hums, still medicated and not speaking except for the occasional vocalizations of happiness or upset. “Take her to her room.” he orders gently, a hand rubbing over Gen’s fluffy mane before another maid chirps and takes her arm. “I’ll be with you in a bit, love.” he calls out and she gives him a slow nod before turning back to the maid who says something to make her smile. At least she was doing that again. “Who the fuck is here? I told ya no visitors.” he mutters with a low brow at the young woman.

“I knew you’d want her to see these visitors.” she keeps the same broad grin on her face, practically beaming at him.

“Why are you so fuckin’ happy? Has the savior returned?” he snorts and chuckles.

“They’re waiting for you in your study.”

“Least they got fuckin’ manners. Tells me it’s not the bloody Shelby’s” he grumbles to himself. His footsteps are heavy and none too happy to be making the trip down the hallway. He hated surprises. Someone coming and demanding they see him without prior invitation or forewarning, who did they think they were?

“Fuck me.” he says with a mouth wide open, revealing Altar and Alma standing and chatting in front of his desk. “Forgive the language Miss Lafitte, I am... ya bloody well surprised the old boy.” he laughs with a shake of his head.

“No offense taken. I rather miss the sort of fellow that would curse in front of a lady.” she smiles and reaches out to take his hand and sighs heavily before patting his cheek and kissing it just as lightly and sweetly. She smelled like flowers just like her daughter.

“You’re looking mighty well for what you’ve gone through, lad!” Altar booms with a big hug and pat the back for him that he swears pops a few things.

“Well I’ve got to keep up appearances, innit I?” she shrugs. “What on earth brings you here? Or HOW I should ask in your case, Miss Lafitte.”

“It’s Alma. I’ll be your mother some day. Almost was a lot sooner if the devil hadn’t intervened I hear.”

“Yes, ma’am. She disappeared the night I was set to ask her.”

“Shame, that.” she shakes her head. “But you found her. You brought her home.” she coos and hugs his neck tightly.

“Yes ma’am I did. Just as I promised.”

“He’s a man of his word Alma. No need to worry about Solomons.” Altar gives an approving nod.

“Might I see her? Is she well enough to see me?” Alma's wide eys inquire.

“I wouldn’t keep you from her even if she weren’t.” he replies happily. “She’s going to cry, fair wairing to ya, love, she’s very emotional already, poor little bird. But she’s been doin’ well this mornin’. And she innit speakin’ yet, throat got damaged the doctors say,” he informs with polite and a quick catching up as he walks her to the door.

“I’d like to see her as well, of course.” Altar smiles.

“‘Course. Best one at a time. Let the lady first then you file in once she’s certain she’s real ‘n that.”

“Real?” Alma asks with a high inflection.

“The medicine she’s on can make her hear and see that what aren’t there. None of it this mornin’ so far, it comes and goes.” he waters down the truth and Altar can sense it but Alma is just so excited to see her daughter she overlooks it.

Genevieve sits perched in front of her vanity, a silver brush in her hand, slowly dragging through her hair. The glow of the Morphine causing her to overlook the last of the bruises on her arms, the high neck of the gown covering those left underneath. Her hair now to her waist she watches it bounce with its natural curl as she releases it.

Alma, the giver of that hair stands in the doorway as Alfie files in first, catching her attention with a loud and happy signal of her name. “Genevieve my love you have visitors.” He calls out and she sets the brush down slowly, turning towards him with a small smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth and half-lidded eyes of contentment in her druggy fog. “It’s someone you haven’t seen in a very long time.” He warns her and he sees her eyes shift, an inkling of curiosity piqued and he sighs with relief. “Are you listening, love?” He asks just to be sure and she nods slowly. “Genny love... your mum is here.” He states while maintaining eye contact to see it sink in.

Her eyes go wide and she reaches up to grasp his forearms which were holding her shoulders. “Muh?” She manages and he feels her shake.

“Yes, love can ya-?” He begins to make sure she can handle such excitement. But she catches sight of her and much to his surprise stands and shoves him out of the way to get to her. The entire showing was rather impressive.

She can’t speak but she cries, oh does she cry. Until her eyes are as red as the sun and dry as the desert, she cries. She makes an awful sound trying to form words as she rushes towards her mother and collapses into her arms, sobbing and wailing.

“There my beautiful girl, let me look at you! It’s been too long little Lily, yes?” She holds her now red and splotchy face as Genieve blubbers, but Alma pays no mind and kisses every bit of her face, telling her how she was more beautiful now that she was grown than she ever had been before. The I love you's begin, Genevieve a weeping child in the embrace of her mother as she directs her to the couch in front of the fire. She shooshes her and cries herself, whispering only sweetness and praise, kissing her daughters dizzy head as she cries softly in her bosom like a baby.

Altar sneaks in after the initial explosion. Moving over to Alfie who stayed back on the other side of the room at her vanity watching the display. He didn’t think the reunion would’ve gone down much differently if she’d been herself.

“I wanted to thank you, Alfie. For handling all this.” Altar gives him a nod and a pat to the back.

“It’s all part of the life innit?” He responds, keeping an eye on her to make sure she was still okay.

“I hear you’re back at work already?”

“Yeah I had to, ya understand. I was going crazy here, worrying about her constantly. Had to keep fings togetha for both of us now. So I just work until the afternoon hours and come home before tea. Off on Shabbat and that.” He explains with the same low tone Altar speaks.

“So she is well enough to leave?” The concern in his voice evident.

“With the girls here yes. If she were on her own, no. I’ll be honest with ya Altar this is going far better than I thought it would.”

“So she's been worse? And I would appreciate honesty. I need to know what future we’re looking at here.”

“She’s been much worse." a flat delivery that tells altar all he needs to know. "Glad you caught her on an up day. She’s been very emotional, all over the place. Nightmares of course, can’t bring up what happened or she cries. She talks to herself, or rather mouths and chases after children what aren’t there. I’ve been told that most likely the medicine though. Morphine. Nasty stuff, yeah? Still too soon to know the long term effects on her mind. Needs the medicine for the pain, but it keeps us from knowin’ the state of her. It’s frustratin' I’ll admit.”

“And I thank you for not running. To speak candidly. Our lives are hard enough without adding...things like this to them.”

“I innit runnin'.” Alfie swings his head. “As long as I have hope she can be herself again some day I’m stayin’. And she is makin' progress. Small but... it’s there.” He groans.

“And I was told you were known for your lies.” Altar grins.

“Nah mate. I tell the truth. Just people don’t know how to listen to me words yeah? I’ll tell 'em what’s goin' down right? But it’s up to them to interpret it. I never make no promises in business. Only contracts and agreements. None of that whimsical horse shite.”  He mutters,

Altar chuckles. “I do hope she is herself again. And that it finds you in  good time. These things... the mind... all very tricky.”

“That it is.”

“Her brother reacted similarly after the war.”

“George is it? She told me 'bout him.”

“They were close growing up. She helped him, believed in him. Patience was key.”

“It is in most fings.”

“Yes. It is.” He laments, knowing the road was still unclear on the horizon for his niece. “Thank you for your candor Alfie. I only have second-hand information and hearing to from you is more than reassuring for an old man I’ll have you know.”

“So you know what happened?”

“I know she was taken from her home and held captive for almost 4 days by Horne. That he was killed in a shoot out and now she’s at home.”

“I can tell ya more.” He offers with a frown.

“Do I want to know?” Altars broad mouth forms a tight line.

“Would you rather know the truth or hear people talk like I have? Because I’ve been well miffed 'bout what I’ve been hearin’.” He replies with clear anger on his voice.

“Then yes, please tell me.”

—-

“Your house is so lovely Genevieve. Just like the drawings you used to keep as a girl, yes?” Her mother coos, Gen now only having the hiccups that sent pain in her chest every time as she recovered from the tears. “...and your hair has gotten so long.” She strokes it back. “And the man you have chosen is a proud Jewish one. One that sought me out after you were taken. He speaks of you with such passion, cheri. I am so proud of your choice. And you were working towards your bat mitzvah I heard as well? You are becoming everything I could’ve dreamed for you, my darling girl. Your mum is so proud. You’ve come so far haven’t you?” She continues her string of praise, Gen now nuzzling into her mother lap and feeling rather sleepy. Alma strokes the hair back from her daughters face just as she had as a child, the other hand gentle on her back where she rubs small circles just like she used to, to calm her. She could sense her spirit was a bit lost and desperately needed the comfort.

When she was young and took to her fits of crying she would throw herself around dramatically, making grand sweeping statements of woe and agony. There were no words this time, but she felt the same raw wildness when she looked into her wounded daughter's eyes. She had never been a stranger to the dramatic, but Alma hadn’t minded. It reminded her of her mother, of that power in getting swept away by her emotions. She felt so deeply and completely she could live no other way, and those around her would either be drowned in love or burned by hate depending on her mood, It seems Genevieve was just as sensitive a soul as her bubbie had been. For the line of work her daughter had chosen to go in, the true line of work and not Abeille, she wondered how she managed. Perhaps much like Alma, she locked parts of herself away to cope. That’s what she’d done being with George. But at least her daughter had a man with a sound mind of her choosing, a rare and heartwarming thing for a mother to know.

“I haven’t seen her so quiet and still in weeks.” Alfie states, walking over to Alma who was looking down at her contently.

“Sometimes a girl needs her mother,” she answers softly, leaning to look upon her face. “I see she has finally fallen asleep.” she lets out a huff of a laugh. “Just like when she was a child.” she sighs happily. “Circles on her back, gently stroke her face and hair, tell her all the praise she deserves. She’ll always come back to you.” she looks up at Alfie with pinked eyes from the shared tears.

“Good to know.” he thanks with a nod. “Would you like anythin'? We can move her to the bed if you need.”

“No, no. I’m staying close the whole time I’m here. Some tea by the fire sounds lovely though.” she announces reaching out and patting his hand that rests on the couch arm. “Bring us all some, would you? We need to discuss some things.” she speaks with a still kind face but a more purposeful tone.

“‘Course Miss.” he nods and gives Altar one as well as he heads over to the couch and Alfie goes to fetch tea.

-----

With the Aggie reunion with Alma already passed before Alfie even saw her into Gens room, the older woman kisses her head as she hands her her tea she still takes the same way after all these years. Alfie settles in with Gen’s mother and uncle in the set of chairs in front of the fire. Gen was laid out with her legs in Altars lap, her head in her mothers as Alfie takes the armchair to the matching pink hued set.

“I suppose the best place to start would be why we arrived together.”

“I was more than curious, yeah?” He responds with a smirk.

“I’ve moved out of George’s house.” She speaks with the same decisiveness that he misses from the childlike woman in her arms.

The surprise on Alfies face is clear.

“Yes, I made the same expression when she showed up at my door.” Altar snorts.

“After you came by, I had to reevaluate some things. Perhaps I’d been in denial about how one-day things would work out. But time kept passing, my children kept growing and changing and I was not around to see it as I would like. I had to do something. Seeing the poor condition of George in the face of real danger, his own most trusted servant betraying him and the watching and infiltrating of our estate, I saw the end was closer than I anticipated.” She delivers plainly and without drama, her hands still loving on her daughter. “I’m at the point now where I knew what I could lose or what could happen to me was lesser than what I’d suffer if I went on without my most wild daughter. Knowing she was fighting to become everything I always wanted for her… I would be damned if I’d miss her wedding, the birth of a child, being able to be at her side during something like this.” She sighs deeply. “My little wildflower.” She strokes her face lovingly and Altar gives a soft smile, reaching out and patting his sister's arm. “She was always so rebellious. I see that was not passing phase for her now. It is who she is and I could not be more proud of her for sticking to her true self.”

“It’s something you never got a chance to do, little one.” Altar says with an affectionate and soft tone he reserved for speaking to the women in his life. “There is so much more Lafitte in her than any of your other children. She’s so much of you sister, she had no choice but to follow her heart did she?” He smirks and gives her cheek and soft pinch and she smiles in return. “This one was just as wild in her youth. Don’t let that Christian repression they beat into her fool you.” Altar chuckles after wagging a finger Alfie's way.

“I cannot and will not make an argument I cannot win.” She grins to herself, another forlorn sigh as she dotes on the sleeping woman in her arms.

“Wish Genevieve had taken after you on ‘at.” Alfie jokes and it makes Altar laugh out loud.

“She is more rebellious for the sake of drama. She is a theatre in and of herself that Lily. I knew it the moment I first held her.” Altar reminisces.

“She always had a taste for it.” Alma murmurs with fond memories playing behind her soft eyes.

“Hasn’t changed a bit.” Alfie reaches over and gives Gens chin a squeeze. “Will you be living with Altar now? If you mind my asking.”

“Not at all, cheri, yes I will. He has plenty of room, and dare I say he could use the feminine influence.”

“They say a man is not complete without one.” He teases. “And what of you Solomons?” He turns a strong face his way. “Do you still have the same intentions with our Genevieve? Even now?”

“Same as ever.” Alfie announces with confidence. “Only in ritual is she not mine, she is in ‘ere ‘n ‘ere.” He points to his temple and chest. “I almost went bloody' mad when she first got home. Watchin' over her. I was bloody scared is what I was. I don’t wanna lose that one.”  He points and sighs. “I love that hellion. That little Lily of yours. And once she’s better. Once this awful process is behind us I will make her my wife. Same intention as ever. I’m here for her now and always. As I said, only in formality is she not mine. In my eyes.”

“That is a relief to hear.” Alma admits. “I admittedly was concerned when I heard about the state of her. Most men would leave.”

“I am no coward to a challenge. And ‘ats what ‘is is. I like to think she would do the same for me. Fuckin' ‘ell she has to a degree if you must know. Gettin’ shot, negotiations behind me back to keep me alive. She’s a proper little nurse, that one.” He looks at her with fondness, perhaps needing to be reminded of all she had done for him after such a rough spell as they were in.

“She never did shy from the blood and violence as a child. Never phased her. Just fetching boiling water and flannels when the boys would come in hurt.” Alma shares with a gentle expression.

“Always been fearless, that one. Suspect that’s how she came to be here. Like this. But it’s also what kept her alive. I have no doubt.” Altar gives her small ankles a pat.

“A lesser man would’ve caved and perished.” Alfie agrees with a hard expression.

“Little fighter.” Alma whispers, leaning down to give her a kiss to her fluffy head of curls. “Perhaps everything will turn for the better. One can only hope and pray. She’s never given up before, let’s hope that holds up this time around.” she looks to Alfie with sad eyes. “But I did want to thank you, for getting her back. For taking such severe and swift action against the person who did this.”

“As I told her, I would burn down the whole fuckin’ country for her. No one messes wif a Solomons. And she is. If ‘ats how they want to treat her then she is to me.”

“I approve of your retaliation.” Altar lets him know. “Not only from an uncle’s standpoint. But from a man who has had to make many of the same decisions. If they come for your heart, you go for their head. Take them out and leave him no choice. Can’t show weakness in this sort of life.”

“My sentiments exactly.” Alfie nods solemnly. “I went for his livelihood. All the businesses and properties in his name. Gone. But this one here...she’s the one what killed him.”

Altar beams proudly. “My little Lily.”

“As much as I hate the idea of her having to do that, I can only approve. Revenge is something so few women get on their abusers.”

“Time will come for us all, dear.” Altar gives her a supportive rub on her back. “Even little George will have his day. He’s busy digging his own grave so we don’t even have to do anything at this point.” he rolls his eyes.

“He’s been in decline for some time. Which is what I assumed brought him to act so swiftly towards our Geneieve. He needed an outlet for his anger at his own shortcomings. His selfishness is coming back to bite him. He doesn’t have the power or the money like he used to. Too many poor decisions. No one wants to work with him because all this is rumored among his peers. He’s a weak little man, now both physically and mentally. Used to he was a stout thing, but in his old age his black heart has made him decline so quickly.”

“Good.” Altar gruffs out. “Bastard deserves worse.”

Alma shrugs. “It is true. But time will come for him. And I leave it to the higher powers to decide now. I am taking my life into my own hands, on my own terms now. My darling here gave me that push to do so. I can’t imagine having to do it at such a young age with no experience.”

“Luckily she came to me.” Altar adds.

“So true.” Alma agrees. “And now I am as well.” her face is still a frown, but a hopeful glint in her eyes. “We won’t be staying long, I’m afraid. I don’t want word to get out that we’re staying here and have George do something moronic about it. But we will be only a phone call away. I know it was a chance coming here, people seeing or hearing, but…”

“She will be better for it. Thank you.” Alfie says reaching out and placing his hand over hers. “As you said. A girl needs her mum sometimes. And now she needs all the help she can get. I’ll be sure she knows you’re well, and with Altar when she’s a bit more herself. She’ll be happy to hear it. Expect letters.” he ends on a light-hearted note and giving her a charismatic smile.

“I expect many.” she beams in response, a gulp and giving his hand a squeeze. “I’m leaving you with my most precious belonging, Solomons.”

“And she is mine as well. Have no doubt. I will always do what I think is best for her, for us. Not only out of respect for you and our laws but as a man who loves her. Who understands her and wants her to thrive. I would never act against her interests. Be sound knowing I will do everythin' in my power to keep your little girl safe and healthy. Her wellbeing in mine now.”

“And you will let me know the moment the wedding planning begins. I must be involved.” she adds on a lighter note.

“Of course.” he smiles softly. “We would have it no other way.”

“I knew there would be little traditional about my daughter's life once she left, but if I still can’t help but have the same wants of tradition when it comes to her wedding. She already skipped the planner and chose her own groom.” she chuckles. “So amuse an old woman and let her be a good Jewish mother for the first time.” she grins.

“What old woman?” Alfie says with a smirk.

Altar laughs loud enough for Gen to stir before he reaches down to rub her back to soothe her. “Told you he was cheeky. Same as Lily. No wonder you found each other. A couple of charismatic to a fault little buggers.” he chuckles.

“Altar!” she scolds and shoots him a look.

“No, no. As usual he is right. Both stubborn as hell but we’ve got our humor.” Alfie confides.

“She gets both from you.” Alma side eyes Altar.

“Oh but if you were only honest with yourself sister.” he laughs. “Us birds of a feather. We will always find ourselves in others and flock together won’t we?”

“Even when we aren’t looking for one another. As in our case.” Alfie’s adds a touch of sentimentality.

“Like bubbie said, when you aren’t looking for it.” Alma begins as she knows Altar will continue.

“That’s when you find it.” Altar finishes with a charismatic grin.

Alfie recalls Gen saying something much of the same sentiment. One night on her wine, lips on his jaw and fingers in his beard. She was never looking for him, for love. But against all odds it found her. Disguised for so long as something else, trying to run from her and hide, she carried on. She said she would change nothing that brought her to him, that kept them together. He wonders if she would say the same after this was over. Would she still not regret finding him, falling in love with a man like him and letting more danger into her life? He wasn’t a praying man, but he did hope that she wouldn’t regret the path they were on together now. ‘As long as it leads me to you.’ she would say. He truly hoped that would still be the case.

-------

After tearful and grateful goodbyes, Gen remaining lucid and not embarrassing herself or Alfie while her family was there he was breathing easy for a lovely moment in time.

Gen felt a rush of energy within herself, unsure of how to elaborate on it or process it she finds herself restless. The excitement sending too many signals off in her brain for her to calm down hours after they’ve gone. With Alfie asleep in their bed, a soft mess of dark gingery hair and a still hard looking face even at rest she slowly creeps out and into the bathroom.

She looks at herself in the mirror, facing herself truly for what was the first time since the incident. She didn’t remember each mark or bruise, and she truly didn’t want to. She wanted to never remember. Recalling the feeling of Horne’s brain as her nails dug into it when she killed him was enough for her. If he deserved that he wasn’t worth remembering.

A soft snort comes from the bedroom, a welcome change of thought. She leans against the doorway, her temple to the gilded frame. The past weeks were a fog to her, but she did remember Alfie always being there. She sighs and hums with a contented feeling as she watches him. The noise surprises her after the fact. She hadn’t heard herself speak except for her own thoughts since she came to in the hospital. But she hadn’t really tried, only pushing out the first syllable to indicate the severity of her words. Another snore from Alfie’s full and chapped lips as he rubs his face into the pillow. The sun would be up soon and so would he, or as soon as he discovered she wasn’t there. She decides to thank him for his dedication during all this chaos. Full days she didn’t remember, spans of trauma she didn’t care to remember that were still locked away in her brain, only coming in dreams and unwanted, uncontrolled flashes at random times. The medicine had helped those it seemed. It kept her impassive, kept everything with a lovely fuzzy frame of numbness around it. It was how she preferred to exist. The pain was still too much, both the physical and the mental. The morphine was a calm sanctuary she could return to when she needed, when things started to feel sharp and edged, she could go back to the cozy comfort of numbness. The morphine was becoming her best weapon.

But in these wee morning hours, before Alfie had to get up to make the drive to London, she rubbed her throat and tried to clear it as she felt muscle control coming back with the first dose of morphine taunting her in the near future. Reminding her it’d been hours and they were due for another rendezvous. But with her control, she warms up her throat and tries to speak. By the hour Alfie should rise, she would give him something to show she was trying.

She tasted blood but she didn’t care. Her voice light and raspy, but there. An odd soreness to her tongue she’d never felt before, her neck ragged but functional. She sits on her throne of pillows in the big elaborate bed with her various accouterment of medicinal devices and tonics around her. She waits, the light from the sun filtering through slightly, soon to rouse the sleeping bear she gently stroked that lay next to her, sprawled on his stomach.

A deep, sleep-filled grunt escapes him and she smiles. Fingertips over his nose and temples, waking him more.

“Mmph.” he blubs out with flared nostrils. Alfie loved being up before everyone else, the feeling of getting a head start on every other lazy fucker who was still in bed. But the act of waking itself he was not a fan of. He hadn’t realized how integral Gen’s practice of waking him gently had helped ease him back into the plane of reality until he no longer had it. He’d awoken to a still woman next to him, sleeping through him getting ready most mornings. But he’d forgotten all that time in the dim light alone for a moment as he crawled from the shelter of sleep with the tickle of her fingertips on his skin. “Mmph?” he asks with a clear question.

Gen remains soft, covers pulled up over her to her stomach, nails now on his scalp.

“Mmph. Genny?” he asks while rubbing his eyes. “Ya should be asleep, love.” he mutters and tries to focus.

“Matin.” comes from her mouth and he almost misses it. Easier to speak for her than the English greeting, she whispers it to him, leaning closely.

With a stiff grunt, he raises his head up fast, a pop of his neck as he does so. “Wha-?” he mumbles, and rolls to her side, reaching out to take her hand into his, holding it in the warm spot where he’d slept. “Genny love what are you doin’?”

“Good...morning.” she forces out, a childish expression on her face, hoping for happiness and praise.

“Fuck me…” he whispers, sitting up and giving her a more focused expression. “Ya talkin’ again?” he questions with a deep throaty noise of approval, reaching over to cup her face.

“Good... morning... Alfie.” she says slowly.

“Oh, pet. Little French flower, my darlin’...” he coos at her, caught up in her wide eyes that met his and the subtle smile and closed eyes that nuzzled into his hand as he held her face. “Don’t ya be pushin’ yaself too much. Stubborn thing.” he grins and kisses her forehead. “Ya know I am weak for my name from your lips, love, don't be exploitin’ a man now.” he gives her a warm smile and kisses her cheek and she happily hums. A sound besides one of pain for the first time he recalled after touching her in such a way.

“Good morning... Alfie.” she says again, a rough delivery but her voice most certainly.

“It is, love. It is.” he says before giving her the most chaste and innocent of kisses that he feels her reciprocate. A brief moment in time where everything was light and hope-filled in his sleepy brain. Something he would think back on when her condition was questionable. This small moment that meant so much to them both. They both felt as one again. No matter how fleeting these moments could be.

Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

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[seasaltmemories]

Mors Debitionem Onem Retribuit: Chapter 1

Rating: T

Summary: The year is 1897, and Alm Schafer is just another university student looking to find his place in the world.  However, when his studies take him into foreign lands, he finds himself in the strangest manor he has ever encountered.  From the maid's too large eyes to the cook's fondness for knives, what ties them all together is their mysterious mistress: Countess Celica Vaduva.

The Countess is many things: brooding, eccentric, capricious, yet also alluring.  As the two are drawn together, Alm starts to wonder if the secrets lining her past just might be the key for understanding his own.  Still all information comes with a price.  The only question is if he'll regret paying it.

~

As Alm hugged his overcoat closer to his body, he couldn’t help but bemoan just how far from Ram Village he was.

Back when he had first left, gifted with Gray and Tobin’s teasing remarks and Grandpa’s warnings to carry him to the train station, Berlin had felt like the ends of the Earth. All he had to his name was a newly discovered yet dead father’s inheritance and a burning desire to learn. It was too much to waste away in the countryside, but the sheer volume of universities and libraries the capital had to offer him seemed like it might swallow him whole.

Yet here he was, in the heart of an entirely foreign country with nothing but a satchel and the clothes on his back to call his own.

It had seemed like such a romantic notion back in Berlin. When his professor had waxed the wonders of field research, the chance to engage with a living history and build an entirely new understanding of culture and society, he had wanted nothing more than to be a part of that. He had signed up for the program that day, ignoring Kliff’s letters questioning the practicality of such study or Faye’s worries for his safety. He was going to be a man of science, a pioneer of philosophy, and nothing like inconsistent funding and dubious travel plans was going to stop him.

But reading of Romania and navigating it were two very different things. Asking the locals for directions only revealed just how awkwardly his tongue curled around words he had thought he had known. Their rat-a-tat replies sent him diving for his translation dictionary with an embarrassing frequency. And with only the ever dimming autumn sun to light his way, he was becoming acutely aware of just how alone he was.

He had been lucky to find himself a carriage driver who knew the manor he was looking for. The fact he had charged double of what Alm had prepared to pay had been unfortunate, but he had been too eager to get out of the chilling winds to complain too much. If he had possessed half a mind, then perhaps he would have been prepared for the sight that laid before him once he arrived.

It seemed the estates here less resembled the clean and modern architecture he had grown familiar with in Berlin and more the ancient castles of fairy-tales. Vaduva Manor was a twisted labyrinth of spires and dark stone. He couldn’t imagine any man to have designed such a monstrosity. If he didn’t know better he might have convinced himself the place was some ancient, eldritch beast that had decided to rest on this cliff. It seemed primordial, alien to all conceptions of humanity.

It was only the whine of a horse that managed to bring him back to earth. Alm turned around just in time to see the carriage driver take off back down the hillside.

“Wait!” He ran after him. “Just give me five minutes--please don’t leave me alone!” But despite his cries, the most the driver gave him was a quick “God bless,” and the sign of the cross across his heart.

Alm felt his blood run cold. With a sigh, he mirrored the cross as well and turned to face the manor again.

It was hard to get out of that loop, stewing in the unfortunate turn of events. It was like his thoughts were a runaway train. There was a reason he had described the place as a sleeping beast. It seemed as if it had been untouched by humans for centuries. With the driver gone, he’d have to stay the night here no matter what, possibly doomed to wander an abandoned citadel home to dangerous creatures of all types, and oh why had he ever left Ram if this was all university was going to bring him?

With a surge of energy, he slammed the brakes on his thoughts by slamming the knocker against the door. The heavy thud echoed in his ears, consuming his mind until there was no room left for worry. All he could do was wait.

When the door opened, Alm finally remembered to breath. Quickly he reached for the speech he had prepared.

“Greetings...freends!” He cringed at his mispronunciation. “I have come to request an audience with the Count.” He glanced at the servant, hoping he had made a lick of sense. However instead of the old maid he was expecting, a young girl stood before him, staring.

“Excuse me?” That by now he had at least memorized. Alm had expected to be received in a variety of ways, with confusion or frustration, maybe even disgust, but he hadn’t expected this: a girl swallowed in amber-golden puffs of hair blankly assessing him.

“Count Lima Vaduva.” At this point he was trying to grasp at anything, provoke something in the maid, but her face stayed just as undisturbed. “Please I’m from Engel College you see. My adviser is Clive Herrmann. He told me the Vaduva’s have been benefactors of us in the past, so he might be interested in helping me with my current study and--”

“Count’s dead.” The servant girl voice came out in a slow wisp.

“Dead?” Alm whispered. It was only one word, but it managed to kill all his hopes in one fell swoop. A gust of wind tore through the slips of his overcoat, slithering across his bare skin. He wondered if he had ever been this cold in his life before--if he had even been so lost and alone.

“Yes dead.” The girl’s tone was firm, yet a furrowed brow marred her otherwise empty countenance. “Perhaps you would like to see the Countess?”

Relief flooded his veins, a more heady champagne than the bottle Python had stolen for the gang back during their first years. “Yes, thank you, thank you so much!”

As he was led inside the manor, he felt his nerves calm for the first time in days. The dim candlelight and finely furnished interior proved that the girl was not some ghost haunting an abandoned estate. With a polite yet professional briskness, the girl set him down in a parlor.

“Wait here.” With that she vanished into the rest of the manor without a sound.

Left to his own devices, Alm tried to study his surroundings, hoping it would put the strange exterior into context. After all the, um, eccentricities of the place probably had its own charm. He probably just had to get adjusted to its taste.

Looking at the parlor closely, he could tell that it had been decorated with both care and taste, even if it wasn’t his particular style. Although the more he thought about it, this style didn’t seem to look like anything that had been made in the past twenty years. So strange, usually the parlor was where a family displayed their finest dressings, but then these were probably antiques that had been handed out. Well then again he was just an uncultured country boy, that’s what Alm kept telling himself when he noticed the layer of dust coating the tables.

There was a creak, and he couldn’t help but flinch. Now that his eyes had adjusted from the darkness of outside, he realized just how much the candles left unlit. The corners of the room shifted with shadows. Obviously it was just do the flickering lights, not because there was something there. With a little more time he’d adjust to--

There was a tap on his shoulder, and it took all his willpower not to jump out of his skin. Slowly he turned to find that the girl from before had entered again without him knowing.

“Announcing the Right and Honorable mistress of the manor,” She fell into a deep curtsy. “The Countess Celica Vaduva.”

Immediately, Alm stood bowing just as fully.

“Your Ladyship...” It was only know that he was bent did he regret not pulling out his dictionary to practice this beforehand. “I am honoring to be in your pree--”

Before he could continue, a hand gripped his chin. As it lifted his face, he couldn’t help but gasp. Maybe it was the loneliness of his trip getting to him, but in that moment all he wanted to do was stare and take in the stranger that stood before him.

The Countess was beautiful, that much was obvious to anyone with seeing eyes. But Alm wasn’t a lecherous pervert, he had seen many pretty ladies and gone on his day without giving them a second though. Still for her simple, black silks, there was an unearthly grace to her entire silhouette. From how she held her elegant neck to the way her red curls fell gently across her shoulders to frame her face, it all moved him in a profound yet incomprehensible manner.

“Please don’t try that again.” Her nails scraped lightly against his jaw. “Do you speak German?” Her grasp of his mother-tongue was much more thorough than his of Romanian. What trace of an accent that lingered only gave her words a gentle, soothing lithe.

“German, yes, thank you!” God, even her speech was captivating. Her ruby red lips against her pale white skin were a striking contrast. He wanted to commit everything about them to his memory, from their shape to their texture.

With a jerk, Alm forced himself to look away. Swooning over a noblewoman was not the way to start his field research.

The Countess giggled. Her laughter was thick and weighty, like a warm cloak had suddenly been fastened to you. “My when Genny described you, I didn’t expect you to be quite so shy.” She laughed again, but before he could self-combust from her teasing she graciously let go of his face and moved to sit across from him. “I’m curious about what kind of creature would show up at my door at this hour. Pray tell what is your name?”

“Schafer--Alm Schafer.” He scrambled back to his seat, grateful to move back into familiar territory. “Engel College...Clive Herrmann, does any of that ring a bell for you?”

“Not a single chime.” She laced her fingers together.

“I was surprised to find out that the former Count is dead,” Alm couldn’t stop himself from thinking out loud. “If we hadn’t been under the impression he was still alive Professor Herrmann would have never sent me to disturb his...” He trailed off once he realized he had no clue just who in fact this woman was.

“Daughter. I’m his daughter. Forgive me for not informing the entire world about his death while I have been grieving.” Her apologetic tilt of her head did nothing to hide the bitterness of her words.

“Oh, no, no, I understand that is was just a miscommunication error, please--”

“--Pardon me, Mr. Schafer, but all I really care to know is why you are here.” The Countess huffed. “I’m a busy woman, and you can’t ever regained wasted time.”

Alm took a deep breath. This had not been how he had anticipated his proposal going. It was all moving so much faster than he had prepared, banking on Count Lima’s pride as a patron to secure him a fortnight or so as he eased him into the idea of his research. Yet his sharp daughter had yet to turn him down. He had to adapt and make use of what goodwill he had if he truly cared about his studies.

“I’m very fascinated by aristocracy--” Alm tried to find words that would make sense to someone unfamiliar with academia. “--particularly in how it functions in newly-born modern nation such as Romania, and how the nation-state in turn influences the aristocracy.”

“I see.” The Countess said as if she clearly did not understand. “I’m not sure when Wallachia stopped being Wallachia, but I can tell you are a pupil of sorts, however peculiar you are.”

“See that’s what I’m talking about!” Alm leaned forward, carried away by the insight. “My research is all about learning what people like you think and why you feel that way. The past and present are not two separate planes but shape one another constantly. You must understand both to even approach one. Getting to observe your daily life, talking with you about various issues, why even just being allowed to access your family trees would make me the most blessed of scholars!” He fiddled through his satchel for his coin purse. “I know it is strange to request room and board before it is offered, but I can compensate you. Please understand that I come with nothing but sincere intellectual curiosity. Your compliance could help us expand our understanding of humanity like never before.”

The Countess was quiet, entwined hands hiding her expression. He didn’t quite understand what, if anything, had changed about her in their short time together, yet it still seemed as if something had soured between the two of them. The rancid odor of the faux pas seemed to consume the entire room.

“You play the ingenue quite well, Mr. Schafer, but I also see the true fox that hides behind your eyes.” There was a raspy quality to her voice now. “You come to a maiden’s abode at sunset, begging to know her. To turn you away from shelter at this time would be completely unexpected, a monster��s choice. You’re only mistake though was assuming that I couldn’t be cruel.”

She looked back up at him, those enchanting red lips quirked in a sly grin. “So tell me again Mr. Schafer. Why should I invite you into my humble home?”

Panic settled into his skin. When she put things like that, he did sound like quite the rake, asking to live with an unmarried woman. His first instinct was to try and defend his character, but the Countess gaze was so intense it left him speechless. Why was he here? He knew the steps that had carried him from Berlin to her doorstep, but now with an outsider’s eye, his actions seemed that of a madman’s. Disturbed, Alm cradled his temple. He was trying his best to string his thoughts together, but his mind was like a fogged moor. All he could do was wander it aimlessly as the shadows in the room seemed to grow larger and larger.

And yet just when he was sure they would swallow him, the Countess’ voice managed to dispel the darkness with just a word.

“It was wise of you to not try and deceive me. I have no need for your money, but honesty is quite the rarity.” She stood. “You may stay and conduct your odd research, but by it’s end you must convince me why I have also profited. If I find your answer lacking well--” She smiled, but something about the action was wrong. The vast whiteness of her teeth seemed as if it might devour him whole. “--I’ll suggest my own payment.”

Before he could respond, the Countess had already turned her back to him. “Genny can show you to your guest room. I suggest you retire soon. You’ll find Wallachian nights are often best avoided.”

After the constant back and forth his heart had endured, Alm find it difficult to muster much of a reaction at all for the rest of the evening. Even when the maid and her too quiet steps guided him into another equally alien and dark room, he found sleep was all that could move him.

But before dreamland could claim him, he remembered his journal. He had only gained it recently for this trip, but without proper notes, all his travels would be for naught. Dutifully, he tried to record the day’s events in as neutral and objective manner as possible. Yet when it came time to describe the Countess, he found his mind wandering.

Her eyes were the most exotic of shades. Even know I struggle to name the particular hue. They were likely a unique shade of brown, one that would be perceived differently depending on the lightning.

They were quite stunning, sometimes even appearing to be red.

A.N. Happy Halloween!  To celebrate I decided to give these two a vampire au to have some Gothic fun, expect heavy shout-outs to Dracula and general nerdiness!

[shreyamistry]

2 "stay here tonight" for imogen?

Title: Aftermath

Pairing: Imogen x F!MC (Audrey)

Prompt: “Stay here tonight.”

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: Imogen waits by Audrey’s hospital bed waiting for her to wake up, scared, confused, and alone in the world by herself waiting for the only person left who loves her to wake up.

A/N: Hi, thanks for the request! Enjoy! Masterlist in bio, find my rules page if you’d like to request your own in my masterlist link. Thanks!

Thanks for reading! I hope you like it!

The night sky closed darkness in Audrey’s hospital room leaving shadowy darkness to elope her in her bed with Imogen sitting in the chair beside her. Imogen wrings her hands, unsure of proper protocol in this situation, should she leave? She glances at her phone; the screen smashed from the fight - looking through her texts with her other friends who were god knows where at this point. She places her phone upside down on the nightstand drawing her knees to her chest hugging them tightly. Audrey had to be okay...she had to be.

The silence besides the beeping of a few machines were the only noise in the room. She hoped Elliot was okay, she left him and Robbie and at her house until they could sort through the situation and find Robbie’s father and for it to reunite Elliot with Audrey and her grandpa. She knew he had to be dead, no one would have survived that sewer. She couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore, and a part of her didn’t want to open them again, all the death and destruction that fell upon her home it was a burden she felt she carried being Astrid and Vincent’s daughter. She shakes her head resting her face on her knees, letting the exhaustion of the last day wash over her, her eyes fluttering closed praying for Audrey’s safety.

Imogen wakes up a few hours later, tossing and turning in the chair haunting by her dreams before she jolts awake just mere moments from being murdered in her dream. Her hands shake unsteadily as she catches her breath, panting heavily her head spinning in her head as she looks up to see Audrey watching her, her eyes empty and glossy. They stare at one another a few moments before Imogen jumps out of her chair rushing over to the bed placing her hand on Audrey’s face tears rolling down her cheeks.

“You’re okay..” She whispers, stroking her cheek back and forth.

“I’m okay.” Audrey croaks out, her eyes rolling for a minute coming to terms with the world around her. Her eyes are heavy with tears that don’t spill as she holds herself together, looking around at the different beeping machines around her. “I’m in the hospital?”

Imogen nods, “You are. Elliot’s okay.”

“Elliot.” Audrey smiles despite herself, “He was a feisty one, huh?”

“He gets it from you.” Imogen grins. She leans down placing a kiss onto Audrey’s forehead, brushing back a few strands of her hair out of the way with the hand that rested on her cheek moments earlier. Audrey studies Imogen’s face, the dip of her nose the sprinkle of freckles, and she smiles to herself letting her head fall completely backwards to watch the ceiling. “I heard your grandpa is in surgery last.”

“Gramps..” Audrey’s face wrinkles with worry, “I have to see him.”

“You can’t go right now,” Imogen whispers, “You have to rest. You’ve been through so much, Audrey.” She strokes her Audrey’s face softly, helping to calm her down. Despite her instincts, Audrey lets Imogen lower her back down to keep her from jumping out of bed to find her grandpa. “The doctors said your neck will heal nicely.”

“My neck?” Audrey reaches to her neck, her hand hesitant and shaky as she touches the bandage over the wound she endured. She brushes her fingers hesitantly over the gauze her eyes lost and empty. “My grandma tried to kill me.”

Imogen's lips curl into a frown as she leans in pressing a kiss to Audrey’s neck on top of the bandage, Audrey’s eyes finding her own, the comfort of a smile pulling at her lips. “You’re okay now,” Imogen whispers, Audrey nods in response the faraway look in her eyes leave Imogen to wonder if she believed her. “I promise, no one will hurt you now Audrey.” 

“Okay.” The words leave her lips barely audible, as Imogen takes Audrey’s hand into her own kissing the knuckles of her hands in a comforting gesture. Audrey forces her eyes closed forcing the worry out of her mind focusing on Imogen’s touch feeling a peace wash over her. Until Elliot comes back up in her thoughts. She asks Imogen, “Where’s Elliot? When can I see him?” She looks at Imogen pleading for her to answer her or let her see him.

“He’s back at my house. You can call him in the morning or I can pick him up-”

“Can I call him now?” Imogen’s face twists with worry looking back at her girlfriend, “Please..I have to hear his voice.” Imogen sighs unable to deny her girlfriend’s wishes, she scoops her phone of the table handing it to Audrey’s shaking hands as she dials his number into the phone bringing it to her ear. “Does he have your num- Elliot!”

Imogen pushes herself off the bed giving Audrey and Elliot some privacy to talk, as she steps towards the window drawing back the curtain her eyes moving to the sky seeing the stars and moon illuminating the sky in the solitude of silence around them. She sees the remnants of water and broken trees near to the hospital. She glances behind her at Audrey whose tears stain her face and voice whispering in a shallow tone to Elliot. She brushes her hands over her arms, she missed her parents.

She wishes she had someone to call...someone to talk to. She had her new friends who were all as traumatized as her and with their families, and then there was her. She could call Parker she supposed, but he would be busy with the cop business. She misses Kyle, she misses Diavolos, what happens to him now that he’s a walking corpse? She shakes her head drawing the blinds closed as she hears Audrey’s conversation coming to a close making her way back over to her bedside.

“I will. Mm-hm. Yeah. See you tomorrow Scooter...I love you, too...bye jerkface.” She hangs up the phone holding it to her chest a few moments, enjoying the solitude of knowing Elliot was okay, before placing the phone onto the table beside her. Looking to Imogen with the first genuine smile she’s seen from Audrey all night and day. Imogen plops down beside her on the bed. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I should check on Elliot and Robbie.” She replies, sliding her phone into her pocket looking back to Audrey who watches her with hesitating eyes, fear of reaching out to Imogen. Her hands tremble for a moment before grabbing onto Imogen’s arm holding her from leaving. “Audrey?”

“Please don’t leave me, I..I don’t think I could handle it.” Her eyes wet with tears again as she looks away blinking them back, before turning back to Imogen stroking her fingers against Imogen’s arm. “Please. Stay here tonight.”

“Okay,” Imogen whispers, placing her phone back onto the table turning in the bed to face her better. “Okay, I’ll stay.” She pulls back the edge of the blanket sliding her legs underneath as she scoots closer to Audrey their bodies falling against one another leading them into a comfortable silence of enjoying one another’s company and existence. Imogen absently curls her body around Audrey’s pulling her into her arms, placing a kiss on her cheek before letting her eyes fall closed enjoying the contact between them.

“I love you so much, Genny.”

“I love you more, Audrey. Thank you for saving my life today.” She whispers against Audrey’s skin, the warmth of her breath tickling softly on her skin as Audrey strokes her hand up and down Imogen’s back. “I always will.”

[helplessly-nonstop]

Sparks Fly (S. Wilson)

Genevieve Amaro is best friends with Sam Wilson and she’s also an Avenger. One day they go to the farmer’s market and realize that they’re being followed. This is the start of a series, so if you want, stay tuned!

Word Count: 1458

This is for the lovely @ruckystarnes’s summer of satu challenge. My prompt,”Want to see what kind of trouble we can get it?/Oh god, we’re going to die, aren’t we?/ its a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself./ you absolutely do not.”

My phone buzzed as I finished sparring with Clint and I hurried over to it, grinning when I saw that it was Sam who was calling me.

Sam Wilson: the only person who I really cared for in my life. I was a heartless person, but it came to Sam, I could bare my heart and soul to the man. He was the first and only man I had ever loved, but we broke up after the entire Accords incident, agreeing that we should lay low for the time being until our names were cleared.

“Sammy, what have you got for me?” I asked, slipping on my flats. They were comfortable and nice to wear after training.

“Well, Genny, I was wondering if you would like to come down to the farmer’s market with me.”he announced, as dramatic as he could make his tone. I rolled my eyes then checked my watch before replying,”I’ll meet you downtown in twenty minutes.”

“There’s no way you can take a shower and make it downtown to me in twenty minutes.”he accused with a small chuckle. I gasped at his accusation then muttered,”I’ll show you!”

And with that, I ended the call and flew up the stairs to my room so I could take my shower. I luckily use leave-in conditioner, so all I had to do, was wash my body and change.

I hurried out the main Tower door, hopping on one foot so I could put on my other flat, before I spotted Peter heading out as well.

“Ooh, Peter, please tell me you’re not doing anything important!” I called out, bringing him to a stop. He chuckled nervously and replied,”Um, not really,why? What’s up?”

“Could you fly me downtown into the farmer’s market? I’ll pay you!” I chirped, holding out a twenty to the boy. He glanced down at the money and sighed as he muttered,”I do need lunch money for the rest of the week. Alright, fine, hang on.” He quickly pulled his mask over his face and stated,”Hold on tight.”

I gripped on his waist then we began flying over Manhattan, him dodging the taller buildings.

I checked my watch and noticed that I still had two minutes then I jabbed my finger down towards the market before calling out,”Set me down right there!”

“Going to see Mr. Wilson, ma’am?”

“Peter, we talked about this, don’t call me ma’am and don’t call Sam Mr. Wilson. It’s really weird.” He lowered me down to the street and I tipped two fingers up to him in respect as I shouted,”Thank you, Spidey!”

I scanned the faces of the market goers then spotted Sam hanging out by the strawberries and glanced down at my watch once again. Thirty seconds. I hurried through the people and leaned onto his back, him nearly losing his balance as he steadied the two of us.

“Jesus, Gen, are you crazy?”he asked with a laugh.

“Yep! But guess what! I made it to you with twelve seconds to spare,” I exclaimed as he began walking to the next booth,”Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?”

“Oh God, we’re going to die, aren’t we?”he whined, acting like he was going to faint. I nipped at his ear and replied,”It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself.”

He glared up at me as he replied,”You absolutely do not.” He continued to walk and I asked,”I don’t suppose you want me to get off of you, do you?”

“I don’t care. You’re light enough that I’ve stopped caring if I carry you.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not.” I informed him as we investigated some good looking apples. He shot me an annoyed glance and muttered,”Just shut up and help me find some apples for smoothies.” We meandered through the booths, him handing me up a couple different fruits to judge, then we continued searching for the right ingredients for our Tuesday afternoon smoothies.

I glanced around out of instinct and focused in on a man who was staring directly at Sam and I. I poked my best friend in the side then murmured, ”Someone is watching us. Go into the alley, I have a plan.”

I felt him sigh then he walked into the empty space, me hopping off his back. We split up and crouched behind two dumpsters, waiting for the man following us to arrive.

Sure enough, he entered just behind us, glancing around to figure out where we went. He crept inside further and stopped as soon as he felt Sam’s forearm tightening around his neck, his breath faltering.

“So would you care to explain to me why you’re following us?” I asked, wiggling my fingers at the man. He spat at me in return and I rolled my eyes, annoyed that he couldn’t even tell me to go to hell or some other stupid, cliche comeback, then I warned him,”You know, you should at least start begging for your life before I kill you. It might help your case some, especially since it’s a Tuesday and I’m trying to prove to my friend here that I can totally control myself.”

“You should tell your whore to shut her mouth before someone cuts her tongue out. She talks too much.” the man warned, his voice heavy with a Romanian accent. I gritted my teeth at the use of the word,’Whore,’ then Sam twisted his forearms to the left, the stranger’s neck bending to abide by my best friend’s rules.

“Call her a whore one more time and I’ll make sure that you won’t even be able to see the light of day again, let alone the sun set tonight.” Sam growled, his dark eyes shifting to an emotion that I hadn’t see in Sam in a long while.

My best friend was well mannered but didn’t handle people disrespecting his friends very well, especially when people would throw shade at my ass just for being friends with Wilson.

I picked at the strings on my jeans then repeated, ”Why are you following us and I want the truth this time. No more bullshit.” The man’s lips twisted in displeasure then he admitted,”There is a high price for you and your friend’s heads at HYDRA. When I saw you fools wandering around aimlessly, I knew I needed to capture you.”

“Uh, in case you haven’t noticed, there’s a problem with that plan. There’s one of you and two of us, one of which with superpowers, which can be used to blow your fucking head off.” Sam informed the HYDRA agent. I flexed my fingers at the mention of my powers then allowed the dark green to enter my eyes, the electricity already flickering from my fingertips.

“Now you have two options: one, you can stay here and we interrogate you, which you definitely won’t enjoy; two, you run back to your little buddies and make it abundantly clear that you guys should really not hunt us down with only one person in a party.” Sam offered as I tossed a little ball of sparks back and forth between my hands.

The man watched my powers anxiously then I sighed,”Well, I guess he’s made up his mind.” I shot out a medium power zap through his body and he let out a cry so loud that I thought that someone who come investigate but luckily for us, that didn’t happen.

People at the farmer’s market really don’t give a damn what’s going on unless their favorite vendor isn’t here.

“Alright, let me go! I will let them know that we should stop hunting you two, at least for now.”he pleaded, eyes scanning my face.

“Actually, I think I have a better plan.” I informed him, Sam releasing him just as the bolt of electricity struck the agent’s body.

He flopped to the ground, sort of shaking, then I pulled out my phone and called Cap to tell him that we had a suspect in custody.

“Well, this was fun.” I chirped, leaning against Sam as Steve and Bucky carried away the still passed out agent.

“Yeah, no, not really.”my best friend replied with a roll of his eyes. Steve stopped in front of us and stated,”Thanks for calling us in,Sam. And Genevieve, good touch with knocking him out.”

“Not a problem, Cap.” I replied, rubbing at my eyes. Sam glanced down at me and asked,”Are you ready for a nap?”

“I’m always ready for a nap. On the bright side, we didn’t die.”

“Don’t jynx us now. The day isn’t over yet.”

[songbird-and-her-fos]

So, after a lot of thinking about it, I’ve decided to post the remake of my first fanfiction. It’s based on my daydreams. I hope you enjoy!

Beyond Daydreams

Chapter 1

A whole new World

The day began like any other. I woke up long before my alarm clock would do its daily duty, and spent a few minutes in the velvety darkness pondering all of the things I had to do today. First I'd go to work, then I had to help my younger sister with her homework, and then... what?

I would have loved to spend some time with my friends, but most of them had significant others now, and thus were to busy to hang out. Especially during this time of the year, when the summer sun mercilessly scorched the country with her rays, they had all taken some days off to enjoy the heat.

It sucked to be the only single in my friend group.

I stood up, absentmindedly rubbing the sleepy dust from the corners of my eyes, and walking towards the kitchen, where, judging by the scent hanging in the air, my mother was preparing breakfast.

„Good morning, Cassie“, my mother greeted me. „Did you sleep well?“

She was packing my sister's lunch, still in her nightgown and obviously still very tired.

I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl next to the fridge and shrugged. „Eh, so-so. I always have trouble sleeping when it's so hot.“

Mom looked over to me. „You know, it wouldn't hurt you to have breakfast with Genny and me every once in a while, instead of just eating an apple and leaving.“

„Mom, you know that I just can't get myself to eat in the morning.“ I looked around. „Speaking of Genny, where is she?“

„I think she just went outside. Tinka climbed the old tree again and won't come down.“

I sighed. Tinka was our cat, a beautiful, pure white European Short-Hair. But her lovely looks seemed to hide the fact that she appearantly had trouble remembering that she was scared of heights. „I'll go get her.“

My younger sister Genevieve, Genny for short was standing in front of the old tree in our backyard. Nobody quite knew what kind of tree it was, only that my grandmother had planted it in her youth. It kind of resembled an oak, except that the nuts it bore every fall certainly weren't acorns.

Genny turned around when she heard my footsteps. She looked at lot like me when I was her age, before I got my glasses. We both had brown hair, though I had been keeping mine in a short, messy bob for the past few years while hers reached her mid-back, and we both had green eyes.

„Tinka is too scared to come down“, she told me softly. A habit she had picked up when she found out that I was very sensitive to people talking loudly.

I smiled at her. „That's okay. Go inside; breakfast is ready. I'll go get Tinka.“

She nodded and poked me in the arm as she walked past me and I poked her back, something we started doing as a way of showing affection a while ago, as Genny did not like being hugged.

Once the door closed behind her, I turned to the tree again and sighed. „Here goes nothing...“

Climbing the tree was no trouble for me, as I had been climbing that tree a lot as a child. I carefully reached for higher branches, carefully scanning for the ones thick enough to hold my weight, until I was high enough to grab Tinka. That's when I noticed it. It was as if someone had carved a small hole into the tree, and hidden something sparkling in it.

„Concentrate“, I told myself, but the object in that hole seemed to attract my thoughts like a magnet. So I carefully reached inside, and felt the cool, smooth surface of something resembling glass. As I pulled it out, I heard Tinka hiss. Suddenly, the object began to glow so bright that I had to shield my eyes, lost my balance, and fell.

The fall seemed to last an eternity. The tree wasn't very high, so what took so long? Or maybe I had already hit the floor and was just knocked out? But then how could I feel the edges of the shard I had pulled out of the tree so clearly against the palm of my hand?

After some time, I finally hit ground. The impact knocked the air out of my lungs and the glasses off my face. It took some time for me to be able to breathe again. However, I did not see much upon opening my eyes, as I was as good as blind without my glasses. Then I heard footsteps. Tiny footsteps, as if a group of children was approaching me.

„Who is it? What is it?“, one of them asked. It was the voice of a little boy.

Another, the voice of a girl, said:„A Hylian!“

„Nonsense“, a third voice hissed. „Have you ever seen Hylians with ears or clothes like that?“

„What does it want?“, asked another. „How did it get here?“

Now, they were all talking at once, quite loudly, too, which prompted me to press my hands on my ears, like I always did when there was too much noise. The sudden movement seemed to startle the children, as they went quiet.

„Oh no, I think we scared it.“ As I looked up, one of the children had left the group and approached me.

„Saria, don't! It might be dangerous!“

„It doesn't look dangerous.“ The girl named 'Saria' now stood right in front of me, close enough that even I could make out some features. Most notably her green hair, but also the green clothes.

„You know“, I said dryly. „It's very rude to call someone 'it'. I'm a she, if you want to know.“

„It talks!“, I heard one of the other children whisper.

Saria leaned closer. „I'm... sorry, but we've never seen someone like you. And we didn't mean to scare you.“

„You didn't“, I replied. „I just don't like it when many people talk at once. It hurts my ears.“

„Oh. Well, we didn't mean to hurt you, either. Do you have a name?“

„Cassandra“, I said. Then I turned to scan the ground for my glasses again. „C-could you please help me find my glasses?“

„What's a glasses?“, Saria asked.

I sighed a deep sigh. „It's something that helps me see. My eyes are really bad, you know?“

„Oh.“ She walked past me, looking at the ground and finally picking something up and handing it to me. „Is this what you're looking for?“

„My glasses!“, I cheered. „Thank you.“ Maybe now I could get a better idea of where I was and what had happened.

Once they were in their place again, I turned to the group of children. All of them seemed to be around 10 years old, with either red, brown or blonde hair (or green, in Saria's case). They all wore green clothes, made of a fabric I couldn't quite name.

I had never seen any of them before, so I was about to ask what they were doing in my garden. But when I looked around, my jaw dropped. I was not in my garden anymore.

I was in a forest, at the foot of an absolutely massive tree. I had never seen a tree this big before. Then I noticed the signs of decay on its trunk and how the last leaves were falling.

This tree was very, very dead.

„Where am I?“, I asked, even though it felt terribly clichéd.

„This is Kokiri Forest“, Saria answered kindly. The name struck a cord in me. It seemed so familiar, but I couldn't remember where I had heard it before.

„Yes, and you shouldn't be here“, a boy from the group snapped. Then he turned to Saria. „Saria, this thing is bad news. First the Great Deku Tree's death, Link leaving, and now a weird... thing showing up here? This just spells trouble!“

„Mido! You're being very rude. Can't you see that Cassandra has no idea where she is?“, Saria scolded him. Then she turned to me again. „Can you stand?“

„I... think.“ I carefully got up, still a little wonky, but at least standing. „So. Kokiri Firest, huh? Do you kids live here? Where are your parents?“

The group of kids began to whisper among themselves again. „Parents? What's she talking about?“, one boy asked.

„I.. I think she means adults“, another said.

„Adults? We don't have those here.“

I let out a small laugh of disbelief. „You're pulling my leg. You're telling me you kids live here... all on your own? No adults?“

„No adults“, Saria confirmed. Then she looked around. „Mido may have been a bit rude before, but he had a point. You cannot stay here. Otherwise, the magic of the forest will turn you into a monster.“

For a moment, I thought that she was joking, but then I saw how utterly serious her face was.

„You're kidding“, I said.

„Unfortunately not“, she replied, taking my hand. „Come on. I'll lead you out of the forest.“

She led me away from the giant dead tree to another clearing in the forest, through a small village of child-sized houses, all carved into the stumps of trees.

Only then I saw the many floating lights.

„What are those?“, I asked, staring at them.

„Have you never seen a fairy before?“, Saria asked, and like on cue, a small ball of light with a green aura popped out of a pocket on her clothes. It had wings, but due to its glow, I could not make out any other features.

„Fairies“, I repeated slowly. „No. Not outside of books, at least.“

But as fascinating as this was, I also had the nagging feeling that all of this seemed eerily familiar.

As we approached what seemed to be the exit of the woods, Saria let go of my hand. „This is as far as I can take you“, she explained. „I do not know anything about the world outside of the forest. I do not know what will wait for you on the other side.“

„That's okay“, I replied. „Thank you for your help.“ Then I stepped out of the woods and into the bright light of the outside.

[okayyeahsurewhynotcool]

I’m not even sure I can call it progress... BUT I’M GUNNA!

I’m too excited to sleep because MY BOYFRIEND COMES HOME TODAY FOR A FEW WEEKS! 

So, I attempted to be productive! 

Genny now has a full bio! 

I’m pretty sure I have all of the important links to each muse on my muse page. The little bios on there aren’t complete or whatever, but the links are updated! Yay!

Looking at my muse page made me realize I want at least three more muses. Once I finish full bios for all my lovelies, I will create new ones. I also need solid plots for at least two more of my muses, Leighton and Tanis mostly!

...Which is why I’m working on plot wants/open starters for a few muses! They aren’t complete but will be posted soon. Keep an eye out for those!

I’m also working on queuing things. I will be around these next few weeks, but I might just be a tad bit slow. If I feel like I’m being too slow, I WILL message you to let you know.  Random headcanon stuff will be queued, replies will not be. 

I know I have some memes queued, so please don’t hesitate to ask me stuff! You don’t have to wait for the post to pop up. My memes are easy to find on my page. Ask me something and I will make sure (and try) to ask you something back :D 

Okay, so I wasn’t that productive. ...whatever! xD

One more thing! If I missed a reply, please let me know. One minute I think I have a “system” on how to do replies and then the next minute I’m just in chaos. LOL. So yeah, if you’re missing a reply, holla atcha gurl!

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend!

[ineedsomemoremetime]

Best Friend (Tom Holland Fanfic)

Author: @ineedsomemoremetime

​Paring: Tom Holland x Female! whom I names Gemma.

Notes: This fanfic I wrote for both @gottaletgopete​ (best friend) and @notimeforthemessenger​ (Quote, in bold) writing challenge. I am not the best writer and editing job will not be the greatest but I finally got it finished and I’m kinda proud of it. 

Words: 5595

“Did you know that you swallow 7 spiders a night when your sleeping?” Jacob explains while he is wiping the counter top.           

  “I heard it's 7 spiders in your lifetime” Derek replies as he goes over to lock the store doors so we can count the register.         

 “I heard that you both are just idiots and neither one of you is correct.” Molly complains as she finishes putting away the books that were left out.    

  “What do you think Gemma?” Jacob asks me as I was finishing filling out some paperwork for tomorrow.       

 “I heard both versions of that rumor so I don’t think I'm a great choice to answer this question.” I reply.   

 “Why are you asking her for her opinion. She probably swallows like 100 spiders a night, her boyfriend is Spider-man.” Molly says while grabbing her drawer out and starting to count it.     

 “Guys he’s not my boyfriend he’s just my best friend and roommate.” I explain.    

 “Were not idiots Gem, you love him. Why don’t you just tell already?” Jacob ask and then sits on the clean counter top to wait for my reply. I’ve known Tom who plays Spider-man since I was 18 and decided to live out my dream and move to London. We met my first week here, right after I got this job actually.

“Oh my god, you’ll never believe how my day went today.” I say to my best friend Genny. I’ve been in London for 4 days and I already killed my pet fish 7 hours after I got him but I also got kicked out of my apt because it didn’t allow fish. So now I’m homeless. But I guess on the bright side I got a job. Except I’m not sure how I’m going to get ready everyday since I have nowhere to live. I was about to head into the local Starbucks to maybe get some caffeine before I look for some apartments when these two guys walk out and accidentally spill their coffee on me

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry love. Here um let me go get some napkins. Wait, Haz go grab those napkins off the table.” He basically screams after he spilled his coffee all over my new white blouse I wore to my job interview.

“It’s okay, really. This shirt already got what I needed today. You guys are fine.” I tell him after the one hands me napkins, who I believe was called Haz

.“Here, let me at least buy you a coffee or tea or water. Even though water is free. I don’t know. Um, what do you drink. It’s on me I swear.” The one who spilled it on me said really quickly, kinda like he was nervous

.“Don’t worry about it. Actually I’ll buy you a coffee, since you spilt this one. It’s on me, don’t worry.” I reply. The Haz guy just starts laughing, which means he got my joke.

.“Dude, we need to give this girl a medal. You spill coffee on her and yet she still makes jokes, and doesn’t try to kill you for ruining her shirt.” Haz said. A medal, hmm that would be nice. Does this medal come with a house, cause I’m in need of one of those

.“I can get you one of those if you want or anything. A new top, um a new purse. Whatever name your price. Please don’t me mad at me, it was an accident I swear on my life.” He quickly rambles. Is this guy for-real, I glance over at the Haz guy and he just kinda laughs.

“Tom. Tom. TOM. Snap out of it. She’s not mad.” He yells and the smacks him in the face. The Tom guy looks stunned for a second then he starts laughing.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I got like that. Funny joke, but I’m still buying you a drink. Actually also Haz and I were about to head over to Nandos in a little bit after doing a little bit more shopping. Do you want to join us?” 

“I would actually love that.” I reply. Then we headed into Starbucks to finally get Tom’s and my coffee.

“Yes, I’m going to go home tonight and be like, ‘Hey Tom guess what I’m in love with you and I have since we were like 18. Just thought you ought to know.’”I reply back to them. If only it were that easy. God, just imagine I tell him that I love him, he tells me he loves me back, and then we live happily ever after. That would be the life. Just to be able to kiss him, to hold his hand, to call him mine, to share our lives together.What would I give to live that life. But that’s never going to happen, because I live in a world where life doesn’t really work out in my favor.

“Well, you honestly could just say that.” Derek's said while twirling his fidget spinner. 

“Yes, Derek. I could just tell him that and everything would be alright. Guys, I don’t wanna ruin my friendship with him. I get to spend a lot of my time talking, laughing, enjoying life with Tom. I don’t wanna ruin that. I also don’t want him to kick me out.” I explain.

 “Wait, he can’t just kick you out if you’re paying rent, can he?” Molly asks.“I’m not paying rent. He won’t let me. He says he is being a gentlemen, but I don’t know.” I explain.

“WHAT!?” Derek and Jacob ask at the same time both clearly shocked. While Molly stood there with her mouth wide open.

“Dude, Can I live with you guys?” Jacob asks

.“Actually Gem, can I move instead. Cause I’ll tell Tom I love him like I swear. To live in that house for free. Damn.” Molly explains, jealousy clear as day on her face.

“He thinks it would be stupid for me to pay, I watch Tessa when he goes to film movies. I clean, I sometimes cook. He doesn’t see why I should pay. I still try to every month don’t get me wrong.”

“How did you even move in with him? Like you just have always been living there.” Derek asks confusion covering his face. I mean I have lived with him or what feels like forever. Ever since the first day we actually met.

“So you’re an actor. Hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of you. Sorry.” I tell Tom, who looks so shocked in a joking way of course. We went to a few different stores around Starbucks after we got our coffee and just chatted away. Tom ended up buying me a new shirt because apparently, I’m not allowed to pay for anything. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being spoiled and saving money, but I mean come on dude let me pay for something. After like an hour of shopping we ended up finally at Nando’s to eat.

 “What! How do you not know who I am. I am a famous actor, how dare you!” Tom says while trying to keep a straight face, keyword trying.

“Oh, Tom I’m so sorry. Was I supposed to say,’Oh My God is that Tom Holland. Oh My God, he split coffee on me, swoon. Oh My God, can I have an autograph or better yet a picture, or better yet can I have your babies?’ There is that better?” I ask while laughing.

“Well maybe not that, Even though that probably would of been crazy to see. Maybe you should of been like, ‘ Tom Holland split coffee on me, oh my god, I have to sell this shirt of ebay so I can make tons of pounds. Damn.’” He tries while putting on his best american accent, which isn’t bad but he’s probably never gonna be able to play an american character.

“Or she could of went. ‘Tom Holland, boring. I’m here for you Harrison.’ That would of been way better.” Harrison who is the Haz guy by the way said. 

“Shut the hell up mate. I’m not boring.I’m cool.” Tom fights back.

“Oh yeah sure.But I’m not the one standing there saying ‘oh I’m so sorry, I’ll buy you anything blah blah blah.’ Like dude you split coffee on her, you didn’t murder her grandpa.” Well, Harrison has a point there.

 “ Well at least I’m a gentlemen.” Tom argues with a smile on his face. At least I know this isn’t a mean fight just a little bickering back and forth, something I do with my friend Genny.

“Never said you weren’t. You’re just an annoying one.” Okay, I feel like I’m in the middle of this and I’m not gonna lie, I kinda like it.

“I’m not annoying. Gemma, am I annoying?” Tom asks me.

“She’s not gonna side with you. Gemma, Tom’s annoying right?” Harrison asks. Damn, I gotta pick between these two. Their acting like 5 year olds, but it’s kinda adorable.

“You both are annoying. You dorks.” I laugh. I’m really glad Tom split his coffee on me because my day has been looking better, I mean I’m still homeless for the time being, but I’ve had fun today

.“Well, that is true.” Harrison answers back and Tom just nods, agreeing with him.

“So, Gemma, where at in London are you staying?” Tom asks after he takes a sip of his water.

“It’s a long story actually.” I tell them not really wanting to tell them I got kicked out.

“We got time, right Haz.” Haz nods. “Come on, tell us.” Tom says, so I just reply ‘fine’ and then they sit back in their chairs, like they are trying to get more comfortable.

“Well, So I have this apartment over on 14th street. All furnished and everything. It’s a really nice apartment.  Well, when I moved in they never said I couldn’t have pets but I really didn’t want to try anything to serious right off the bat, so I got me a fish last night. I named him Brock., and he was a cute little fish, if fish can be cute. I’m not really sure. Well, I get home and I fill the tank up with water and all the right stuff. Then I got to bed, but when I woke up this morning, Brock was dead. I guess the water has to be a certain temperature, which is something I never knew because I wasn’t allowed any type of pets as a child not even a pet rock. Well, after I flushed Brock, there was a knock on my door. It was my landlord, he told me I had one hour to get all my stuff packed or else he was calling the cops I guess in that apartment your not allowed to have fish. So I got kicked out. So tonight I’m probably going to be staying at a hotel. Until I can find a new apartment.” I explain.

“So you came to London all by yourself? Isn’t that not safe?’ Harrison asks.

“My best friend Genny wanted to come, but her boyfriend um, decided they should actually move in together. So they moved and got a house. My um parents, didn’t want me to even come here. They thought it was a dumb idea. So I can’t let them know,or else they will make sure I’m on the next flight home.” My friend Genny’s boyfriend kinda never liked me, because I always told her that guys will come and go, this is our life, we need to enjoy it while we can. But then again I never was a fan of him either, so we're even.

“Well, Why don’t you come stay with us for a little while. To save some money.” Tom suggests

.“WHAT!?” Harrison and I say at the same time.

“No offense Gemma, you’re nice and all but we just met you, you can’t just invite strangers into our house.” Harrison says to me.

“Come on, she seems really trustworthy and sweet. Plus I would love to get to know her better. So what’s the best way to get to know her, have her stay with us for awhile. Honestly you seem like an amazing person. Plus I also still feel bad for spilling my coffee on you, and what way to repay you by letting you have a place to stay for a little while.” 

“You do realize Ted Bundy was a trusting looking person right?” I ask Tom. I can’t believe he’s offering me a place to stay, I never would of thought he would do that. We just met and he offering me somewhere to live for a little bit.

 “Who’s Ted Bundy?” Tom asks

.“Really dude, really. He killed people. You know what Gemma, you can move in, but Tom you’re moving out.” Harrison says to us. I just laugh and agree.

“Wow, damn. I try and do something nice and in the end I get kicked out. This is not how I pictured my day going.” Tom complains jokingly.

“How about this, I’ll spend one night there, and while I’m there I’ll use your guys wifi to look up other apartments. Deal?’ I ask both of them.

“Okay, but if you can’t find any you will stay with us for a little longer than a day.” Tom bargains.‘Fine, but the longest I will stay is 3 days.” I say. Who knew 3 days would turn into four years.

“He didn’t know who Ted Bundy was?” Molly asked after I told them the story.

“No, he didn’t. That night we spent the whole night basically trying to tell him about Ted but I still think he’s a little confused.”

 When I got back home that night Tom had pizza and another episode of Riverdale for us to watch. Usually we just relax on the couch with my legs in his lap, but something about tonight was different, I tried not to get so cozy with him. It was like talking about him at work today made everything kinda awkward between us, which is also really weird because I’ve talked about him before. So why now am I getting so nervous around him. Wait why does he seem nervous around me? He keeps fidgeting his hands and glancing over at me like he wants to say something but decides not too. Maybe I should ask him what’s wrong, or maybe he’ll turn the question around on me and ask me what’s wrong. I don’t know why I’m freaking out this much. He’s just Tom, my best friend. He was the one who gave me somewhere to live, he was the one to who protected me against my ex who was a little too clingy, he was my shoulder to cry on when I told him about Genny. Tom is my person, okay so is Harrison but I’m not in love with Harrison. Don’t get me wrong, he’s so gorgeous that I wouldn’t be mad to be with him, but I never got that feeling with him, only with Tom. 

“Gemma, I got home earlier this morning then you thought I did. Um, and I kinda accidentally heard a conversation you were having with Harrison. Well Part of it, um only yours. Where you told him you um” He stops and looks down and the ground.  

“Where I told him what?” I ask turning to face him. If I remember this morning's conversation he might of heard me tell Harrison I like Tom.

“Come on, Gem. You can’t wear that shirt.” Harrison said while sitting on my bed waiting for me to be done so we can go get breakfast or well lunch . Well technically we still also have to wait till Tom gets back from some meeting  about the script.

“Are you giving me fashion advice Mr. Osterfield?” I question him while taking off my sweater, leaving me just in a tank top. I mean he may be an idiot but I’m still gonna listen to him.

“You need to wear stuff that will get Tom attention. Like that dark blue shirt, that’s way to big on you but it hangs over and shows your shoulder. It really bring out the light blue in your eyes. Plus it’s one of Tom favorite shirts on.” He tells me as I’m looking through my closet.

“Okay, and why would I need to get Tom’s attention?”

“Cause you love him and he loves you. I mean you already have his attention no matter what you wear but still.”

“What! I don’t love Tom your crazy.” I say and look down to try and hide my blush. 

“Gemma. Stop lying to yourself. Come on you need to tell him.”

 “Ugh, why can’t you tell him for me.” I whine while falling onto my bean bag chair I have in my room.

 “What are we in high school? Plus I have but he doesn’t believe just like you don’t believe me either.” He explains while getting up and getting into my closet to find the top.

“How would I even tell him. I mean what if I make a fool out of myself.” I continue to whine as I get up and put on the shirt.

“Practice on me.”

‘Harrison no that’s weird I can’t”

“Come on I’m waiting.”

“Harrison.”

“Gemma.”

“Look I know were best friends and like you’re everything to me and I really don’t want this to change anything between us. Like that would be the worst thing in the world. But I have to tell something that scared me but I think it’s time you know. I love you and I’ve loved you forever.”  I rush out. 

“That’s perfect, Gem. Honestly if and when you tell Tom I bet you he will cry.” I don’t say anything after he says that I just hug him and that’s when Tom walked in.

“You were telling Harrison that you were in love with him.” He blurts.

“Because I am.” I say then I realized what Tom said “Wait, what?”

“Look it’s okay. I’m happy for you guys really. I just you wanted to be sure. Um I’m gonna go to bed.” He quickly stats and gets up. I jump up as well and yell wait as I grab his wrist. He just looks at me waiting for me to speak.

“I do love Harrison, but as a brother. Tom.” I pause and take a deep breathe. “Tom, I was practicing to tell you, that I love you. Because I do love you. I’m in love with you Tom.” I tell him. It takes him a second to grasp what I said but the second he did, he kisses me. Not like a little peck but a full blown kiss. His hands were on my cheeks while my hands found and just rested on his hips. Spark were flying, like it felt like the fourth of July and I was loving every second of it. I honestly wish it would of went further but then we heard someone clear their throat.

“Oh sorry, I’ll um be in my room, with earphones in. Be safe you two.” Harrison winks and quickly walks into his bedroom and shuts the door.

“Well that was awkward.” I laugh while stepping back a little.

“Yeah. Just a little. So you love me?” Tom asks.

“Yeah, I really do, I’m sorry if  you thought I liked Haz.”

“Yeh, It’s okay. I love you too.” He tell me and I swear if it weren't the fact he stepped closer to me and put his hand on my waist I think I would of fell. Hearing the person you love tell you that they love you as well. It’s the best feeling in the entire world. 

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks. Like that’s even a question, like duh. But I nods and smile.  Kissing him was like if you kiss happiness, that’s what it felt like. It may sound cheesy but this honestly the way I would want to start and end every single day for the rest of my life. We spent almost the entire night just talking and stealing kisses from each other until we both ended up falling asleep on the couch together. Talking to Tom is always the easiest thing to do, but now that I’ve told him that I love him, it easier. Like I finally told him all of my secrets.

When I woke up the next morning, Tom was gone, and when he wouldn't answer any of my texts or calls all day. Then when I got home from work that night he still wasn’t there. I tried to wait up for him but I got so tired so I went.This went on for about a week. We would either just pass each other and say a quick hello or goodbye and that's it, or we would simply just miss each other. He finally texted but it was only like little text, ‘Working late.’, ‘Sleeping in the trailer’, ‘At the gym’. It was almost like he was avoiding me.  Before I told him that I loved him we would always talk, if it was through texts, calls, or in person. No matter what he was working. It was like telling him was a big mistake. I asked Harrison once this about it but the rest of the time he’s also been MIA  as well.

“Haz, hey can I ask a simple question?” I ask him when I see him eating some chips one afternoon.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Is Tom avoiding me. I know I sound like a baby but. I’ve barely seen nor talked to him this week.” I ask while grabbing some of his chips.

“Gem, he’s been really busy with filming this week. Like barely any breaks. Like Friday is one of his only days off. Talk with him then.”  He suggests like it nothing

.“Okay I guess I can try.” I tell him. I just hope he really has been busy and doesn't regret telling me he loves me.

“Tessa, stop. I didn’t need all my face cleaned sweet girl.” I laugh while trying to get her from licking my face.  God if anything ever happens where I don’t talk to Tom anymore. I’m so claiming Tessa, she is the perfect dog ever.

“I guess she really thought you needed a bath.” Tom says casually as he walks down the stairs into living room in nothing but sweats. Yes, Tom please kill me with your good looks.

“Look Tess there's daddy go clean him. Maybe he needs a bath.” I laugh. He kinda laughs, like a little chuckle. 

“Nah, I don’t need a bath right now. Gemma, can we can talk?” He asks once he finally gets Tessa off of him.

“Sure. What’s up?” I answer sitting up on the couch so he can join me.

“So, I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should forget what happen last week since it really didn’t mean anything and so it doesn't affect us as friends.” He says after being quiet for a few minutes once he sat down. 

“Um, It didn’t mean anything?” I question looking at him as if he had just grown two more heads.

“Yeah, I mean we kissed, we said some things. But I think it was a mistake and we really didn’t think it through.”

“I’m sorry. You kissed me, you told me you loved me, after you got jealous because you thought I loved Harrison. If you didn’t mean any of it, then why did you do it?” I snap at him. How was it a mistake, why would you ever tell someone you love them and then say it was a mistake.

“I never said I didn’t mean what I said. I just said that it was a mistake.”

“What does that even mean Tom. Was the kiss a mistake? What was the mistake?”

 “Gemma, it’s not that easy to -.”He starts to say but I cut him off.

“Tom, If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you feel nothing between us, then I’ll stop and leave this alone. I’ll leave all this alone and we can move on like nothing ever happened. I’ll even move out if that’s what you want.  But I need you to tell me that you don’t feel anything between us, nothing all all.” I tell him. He just stares into my eyes for a few second not saying anything. That’s when Harrison walks in.

“Oh, did I just interrupt something important here?” He asks after notching the tension between Tom and I.

“No, It’s fine. I got the answer I needed. Goodbye Tom.” I answer while standing up and walking over to the door to grab my flats and car keys.I can’t believe I ever thought that Tom would like me more than a friend. I thought after last week that everything was perfect, Tom kissed me, he told me he loved me. I thought my life was on the right track. Then he goes and tells me that it was all a mistake. I love Tom, I’m in love with him, and I would do anything to be with him, but i can’t explain to me his feelings then I don’t want to be there anymore. I can’t stay in a place where the man I love lives.

“So, he said it all was a mistake. Like what does that even mean?” Jacob asks me. I came into work to gossip and ask them their opinions on what I should do. Luckily Molly offered to let me stay the night at her house while I gather my thoughts through all of this.

“I got no idea. That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out myself. But it just sucks cause this is going to change everything between us.” I tell them while looking at my nails.

“Maybe, Tom really does want to be with you but he’s afraid of what will happen once the fans know.” Lila said. She is the newest employee we just got 3 weeks ago. She still finds it crazy that I know Spider-Man.

“His fans already know who I am, they actually want us to date. So that can’t be it.” I reply. It’s actually kinda funny, because not only does his fans want us together but his family wants us together as well.

“Look at this , Gemma. It’s Tom’s baby blanket. God, I remember when this would cover his whole body.” Nikki, Tom’s mum told me. We were in their attic doing a little bit of spring cleaning which basically turned into looking through all of her sons baby boxes.

 “Now it will only over his legs.” I laugh while refolding Sam and Harry’s old baby onesie that we found. 

“When are you and Tom gonna give me grand-babies that I can give this stuff too.” She asks me.

“Nikki!” I gasp. “We aren’t ever dating. He doesn’t even like me like that.” I reply.

“Don’t lie. Tom loves you, like it’s kinda annoying not gonna lie. Plus his fans love you. If you would actually get on your social media you would see that they all think you both are cute together and should be a couple.” Harry says while walking up the attic stairs to come and join us.

 “That is true, the fans do love you, but I think we love you more. Maybe even more than Tom himself.” Nikki jokes.

“Yeah, but what am I gonna do. Tom never shows me anything that he wants to be in a relationship with me.” 

“That’s because he’s a div, honestly my brother is not the smartest lad there is.” Harry tells me.

“Harry, language.” Nikki warns, but Harry just laughs. “Tom will see that one day you both are meant to be.”

 “I hope.” I reply.

I decided that I’m gonna stay in a hotel for a few days until I can find a decent apartment for me to live in. Molly actually gave me great advice last night. To turn off my cell phone, to not answer any calls or text whatsoever and that today I should go over to the apartment and start packing some of my things. I believe that maybe in a few months we can try and be really great friends again but I know I can’t have a good relationship with him if I’m going to be scared of having any awkward run ins in the house. So it’s better if I move out for a little while. So at this very moment I am back in my bedroom trying to find my suitcases, I thought I left them in my closet but I guess not. Maybe Harrison would know, I can go to his room and ask. Once I walk out of my room I run into Tom who was heading into the kitchen. He looked like he hadn’t been to sleep at all last night. I can understand that.I expected him to just move and get out of my way but he hugs me. He just grabs me and hugs me like he hasn’t seen me for years

.“I was so worried. Haz and I have been calling you all night. We didn’t know where you were after you left. Then you wouldn’t answer. I thought you were dead.” He explains after he finally lets me go.

“I’m fine Tom. I just needed space.” I tell them while crossing my arms. “Actually I’m only back so I can pack up some of my stuff. Do you know where my suitcases are?’ I ask trying not to make full eye contact with him.

“What? No, you can’t leave. Look I need to explain why I said what I said last night.” He tries but I just roll my eyes and walk past him so I can head over to Harrison’s room.“Gemma, please. Let me explain.” I ignore him again and walk a little closer to Haz’s room.“I’m scared. Okay, I’m scared of losing you.” With that I stopped. I turn around and look him in the eye.

“No, you don’t get to just explain. Tom, I told you I loved you, you kissed me and told me that you loved me as well, then you just ignore me for a week straight then you tell me that it was all a mistake. How do you think that makes me feel. I love you and you broke my heart.” I snap at him

.“Two minutes, please Gemma. Give me two minutes to explain.” I just nod and sit down on the couch. “When I thought you said that you were in love with Harrison, it killed me. I have never wanted to kill my best friend more than I did right then. He was taking you from me. You, the person who I am so in love with. Then you told me that you loved me. God, I swear I seen stars and fireworks going off, so I kissed you. Then I told you I loved you as well. That was all the truth.  Then the next morning while I was in the gym I did a lot of thinking. I love you so much, but I also love our friendship so much as well and I don’t want to ruin that. So I made a decision that was stupid. I would ignore you, make you not want to like me like that. Not really thinking that it would affect our friendship. Last night I thought I would tell you it was a mistake so maybe we could forget about it and carry on with our friendship. Even though that would be the hardest thing to do because I love you so god dang much. Gemma, I’m not perfect, hell, I’m far from it. But there isn’t an ounce of me that isn’t sorry for hurting you because I really do love you. So all I’m asking is not for you to forgive me but to at least work with me so we can fix not only our friendship but hopefully our relationship.”  He really did hurt me,but honestly what he did isn’t as bad as some people’s relationships I guess.

 “Tom, I love you so much as well. So yes, I will work with you to fix this, because I want to be with you so god damn bad.” I reply smiling at him

.“Is it alright if I kiss you then?”He asks, I don’t say anything I just walk over to him and kiss him myself. Tom is the person I could see myself ending up with, he really is the love of my life. I get I’m only 22 but come on when you know, you know. 

“Jeez, I really do walk in on the wrong times, that or you guys need to get a room.” Harrison says after he walks in the front door with his gym bag, oh so I guess he wasn’t home. We both just flick him off and go back to kissing. So maybe, there is hope for us, or maybe there isn’t. Maybe we’ll stay together for the rest of our lives, or maybe we don’t. All I can wish for is that we will always be friends because this is one friendship I would hate to give up.

[searchingforaplacetocallhome]

Everything About You - (Kandomere x OFC Pt 4)

Setting: Bright movie-verse

Characters: Kandomere & Topaz Bennett (OFC)

Warnings: strong language possibly

Background: Topaz Bennett was the brightest student of her class, always the hardest worker in the room and it finally landed her a much coveted spot on Homeland Security’s Magic Task Force. By a cruel twist of fate, her new ‘partner’ turns out to be an elf named Kandomere, who seems to think it is his task not only to train her as the new agent on the task force, but educate her on pretty much anything else as well.

“Now this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I’d like to take a minute Just sit right there I’ll tell you how I became the servant of an Elf called Kandomere”

Word count: 2390

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3

For the song she listens to  >> --click here-- <<

Part 4 - Get used to it...

Some songs were just too good not to blast at full volume and sing along to with gusto. Blues rock was one of her vices, so when her playlist transitioned to the next song, she instantly squealed and picked up the remote to turn up the volume. The sound of guitars in a blues rhythm filled the room.

Dead of night baby, we’re finally alone. I’ll pull down the shades if you unplug the phone.

Adjusting the sloppy ponytail on top of her head, Topaz sang along to the lyrics while dancing around. It was laundry night, so she was wearing whatever wasn’t dirty, which in this case was a pair of hot pants and an oversized shirt she’d stolen from an old boyfriend, that said ‘careful, I bite’. Finished with the folding, she was sorting her clothes into different piles, taking sips of her beer in between.

Turn on some music, Marvin Gaye’s real nice. Once we get settled, I’ll turn out the lights. Don’t be afraid of the dark...

“Don’t be afraid of the dark. I’ll be there to hold you, don’t be afraid of the dark,” she sang, on key, and did a little hip turn before depositing another t-shirt on the pile. Picking up her phone, she sent a quick text message to Genny to tell her to hurry up and bring more beer. She had no idea how far the music was carrying, but she didn’t really care.

With the laundry sorted, she just started putting it back in the basket when she thought she heard a knock on the door. Pausing a moment she heard nothing else, so she shrugged and continued swaying her hips and singing along at the top of her lungs. “You might tremble, you might shake. Scream out loud, you may even break.”

-knock knock-

Genny had arrived and hopefully she got beer or they would have to go out to get more. Dancing her way over to the door, she missed a line in her song but picked up on the next. “You beg for more, you forget about the night,” she belted out and swung the door open with a swinging roll of her hips. “Did you bring beer?”

Kandomere raised an eyebrow as he stood there, one hand in his pocket, the other dropping to his side. “I did not.”

Well this was awkward.

Straightening up instantly, she pulled on her shirt as if that could cover her more. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

“Boyfriend?”

“No… Genny. Miss Larsen? Anyway, can I help you with something? Sir?” She scooted a little sideways, trying to use the door as cover.

“I called twice and left a message. Do you ever check your phone, Topaz, or do you just ignore my calls?”

“When you still insist on calling me that, I just might start.” Walking into the living room, she turned down the volume on her music and picked up her phone. Unlocking the screen, she discovered she did have new voicemail messages. How had she missed that when she just texted Genny?

“Did you mute your phone again?”

“No.” It was a blatant lie as she flipped the little switch on the side back to volume and put her phone down. When she looked at him, he was looking around her apartment. She could tell it was still far beneath him, but it wasn’t the mess it had been when he had intruded on her day off. She had cleaned and it showed.

“Don’t look so surprised. Contrary to what you believe, I do have domestic skills.” Her tongue darted out. “So since you’re here, wanna give me the quick and dirty version of it?” The moment the words left her mouth she regretted it. Why couldn’t she ever stop to think before she spoke? Because she didn’t have a brain to mouth filter like everyone else, that was why.

“We have confirmation. We’re leaving for Nevada.”

“Oh.” He seemed to be waiting on something, both eyebrows rising. “Oh! You mean right now.” Looking down at herself she made a face. “I should change...” Good thing she had the presence of mind to pick up her dry cleaning before going home today.

Grabbing the clothes basket, she disappeared into the bedroom, dropping it on the bed. Stripping down quickly, she put on a bra, contorting herself to get the damn little cloth flap to lay flat instead of irritating her back all day as usual. Picking her dark blue pants suit, she carefully lay the jacket on the bed to put on after she had her hair fixed. That way she avoided having to pluck all the stray hairs off later. The whole switch took less than two minutes, including her shoes.

Just at that moment, her playlist switched to a song even more embarrassing and she hit the power button on the speakers before the song could really get started. She found Kandomere standing by the counter, fingertips running along a stack of envelopes. Each one of them had a dreaded red stamp or sticker on them.

“Do you mind? Those are personal.”

“You’ve got a lot of overdue bills.”

“Yeah well, we aren’t all born with a silver spoon in our mouths. Some of us have student loans to pay off.”

Retrieving the trolley suitcase from the hallway closet she was thankful she had enlisted Genny’s help in putting together a go-bag just in case. With her phone in hand, she followed Kandomere down to the car. The trolley’s wheels whirred as she pulled it behind her and texted Genny to let her know that she was going out of town for work. This was not something she wanted to call her up for, because she knew Genny would squeal in her ear and that just wasn’t something she wanted to explain to him.

Handing her trolley off to a man in a black suit, with a transparent wire going from his suit colar to his ear, she was a little startled. What was with the security? Montehugh held the door open to the back passenger seat, and she smiled politely at him as she slipped into the spot.

“You’re coming with us, Montehugh?”

The big man chuckled and shook his head. Was he laughing because he could hear the silent plea in her voice. “Not this time, Bennett. My wife would string me up by my balls if I missed our tenth anniversary.”

“You’re married? You mean you actually tricked a woman into putting up with your ass all the time?”

Another laugh from the man. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry though, you’re in good hands. He doesn’t bite… much.”

This got a snort from the elf beside her, making her head snap in his direction. Kandomere was amused. Shaking her head, she turned her attention out of the window. Her phone buzzed with a message from Genny that had way too many exclamation points in it. Typing a quick reply she kept the phone in her hand, but the screen turned away from prying eyes.

The plane looked impressive, making her jaw drop a little as she stared in awe. She had seen it plenty in the movies, but the few times she had flown herself had always been on commercial flights.

“What’s the matter, Bennett? You look like you’ve never seen a private jet before.”

So smug and arrogant. Once again the brain to mouth filter was sorely missed. “Why do you always have to be such a jackass about these things?”

Montehugh snorted. “He can’t help himself. He’s an elf. We’re all inferior creatures to him.” He waited until Kandomere headed for the plane, two men following behind to take their luggage on board. “He might look and act all high and mighty, but once you get to know him, he’s really not a bad guy. He’ll grow on you, I promise.”

“You do realize that what you’re really saying is, ‘he’s a jerk but you’ll get used to it’, right?”

Montehugh shook his head. “Boy, he’s in for a rough ride with you. Do me a favor Bennett, don’t let this job change you.”

“I’ll try not to. Congratulations to you and the wife.” Greeting him with a little salute, she crossed the distance from the car, to the plan, and keeping a good grip on the railings, she climbed the steps, bracing herself against a gust of wind before all went still and she was faced with a flight attendant who gave her a bright smile and welcomed her aboard.

The interior of the plane was mostly white with light brown leather and polished wooden tables. This was nothing like a commercial flight, since there were only eight seats in rows of two facing each other, and an actual couch behind it. She was sure it was secured to the floor though.

Kandomere was already seated by the window, one hand on the table, his well manicured nails tapping against the wood, a flash of an expensive watch peeking out from under the sleeve, which he revealed when he checked the time. Expensive suit, expensive watch, probably an expensive manicure as well. Did he get mani-pedi’s with his elf buddies? The thought made her snort and drew the elf’s impossibly bright blue eyes to her.

“Are you going to stand there all flight, Topaz?”

She still couldn’t figure out what offended her so about him calling her by her first name, she just knew that it did. Her nose pulled up a moment, her lips pressed together in contempt. Moving, she took the seat across from him. The soft leather gave way in just the right places, and it almost felt like the seats in his car.

The flight attendant walked up and greeted them again. “We’ll be preparing for take off in a few minutes. May I take your drink order?”

“Scotch, neat.”

“Just a water, please.” Topaz frowned when the woman walked off and turned her attention to Kandomere, who was still looking out the window. “Didn’t your parents teach you how to say please and thank you?”

“No. Humans are servants.”

“Right...”

An awkward silence filled the air. Buckling up for take off, she relaxed in the seat and following his example, stared out the window as the runway started to disappear further down below and that funny flutter made her stomach turn a little. Flying wasn’t her favorite activity. Once in the air, their drinks were brought over, but the silence still hung in the air between them.

His response had made her painfully aware of the different cultures they had grown up in. Even though they were working for the same agency, no matter how far up the ladder she climbed, she would never be seen as his equal. Not because she was a woman, but because she wasn’t an elf. Her gaze went to the gorget around his neck. Elves above all. Above all Elves.

The script was intricate, and beautifully etched into the metal, or was it silver? She had never bothered to ask. The words however, were a reminder that to Elves all other life was inferior. They ran the world, kept the economy going, but no matter how hard the rest of the world worked, they would never achieve the wealth the Elves possessed.

“Didn’t know you could dance.”

She blinked. Not expecting Kandomere to break the silence, her eyes met his, then looked away. “Well now you do. You learn something new every day.”

More silence. Grabbing her glass off the table she took a few sips of her drink. He had tried to make small talk with her and she had cut him off, because the thought he could think of her as inferior angered her. Her race shouldn’t factor into her worth. Sighing, she rolled her shoulders to release the tension.

Say something, woman, anything!

“Do Elves dance?”

“What kind of question is that?”

Shrugging her shoulders, she unbuckled the seatbelt so she could shift around in her seat a little. The flight attendant noticed her trying to get comfortable and came walking over with a pillow and a wonderfully soft fleece blanket. Fussing around, she arranged the blanket around her and pushed her back into the pillow until she was comfortable.

Kandomere waited for his answer, a finger tapping his glass. It was empty already.

“It’s a legitimate question. I mean, with that stick so far up your ass it’s kinda difficult to bust a move, don’t you think?” She really needed a filter between her brain and her mouth. If only she could stop the words from coming out somehow, but whatever she thought shot straight out of her mouth. “I suppose you could do the Rigor Mortis two step.”

“We’ll land in Nevada in about two hours. From there we will be headed straight to the field office. I suggest making the most of the flight and take a nap.”

“Now see, you feign caring, but I know you don’t care if I get enough rest or not.” Someone really needed to stop her. Not even pinching herself stopped the words from coming out. “What you’re really saying though, is ‘I have no good retort so I would like for you to shut up now’.”

“And yet you’re still talking.”

Her eyes went wide and she scoffed at him. “See this is why nobody likes you.”

Opening the briefcase on the seat beside him, he pulled out a tablet, and started swiping a finger across the screen. “Go to sleep, Topaz,” he said in the tone of a parent telling a child to go the fuck to sleep.

“You don’t tell me what to do.”

“I am your boss, so yes I do. Go to sleep.”

“Yes, sir.” She saluted him.

“Topaz. Stop talking.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Still talking.”

The sing song tone in his voice made her shift angrily to get more comfortable. From the corner of her eye she could still see him, his focus still on the tablet. Maybe a nap wouldn’t be such a bad idea. At least she wouldn’t have to try to make small talk with Grumpelstiltskin. The nickname made her smile, even as she closed her eyes and let the sounds of the plane lull her into sleep.

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 85

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Title & Song: Breakdown

Summary: Genevieve’s behavior comes to a head and Alfie is forced to act as the harsh voice of reason. He's left to act in his personal life as he does in his business where he does the things no one else wants or is willing to. But he'd do anything for his Genny. Song is Breakdown by Tom Petty.

Warnings/Tags: Language. References to assault and violence. PTSD. Angst. Drug Abuse. Trauma. Self Hatred. Fighting, verbal and physical. 

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.) Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

There had been a shift in the energy of the house after Claire and Genevieve’s altercation. Genevieve was trying to behave but finding it nearly impossible. The pull of the promise of relief from her medicine was too seductive to deny for long. Each dose was reacted to like some rare delicacy, with closed eyes and moans. She couldn’t control herself. Her mind was crowded with so much the more time passed. More memories and complicated waves of emotions she didn’t understand, left her feeling overpowered no matter what she did.

She was trying and it could be seen by everyone, but she would drop everything for her medicine and it was obvious there was still dependence there no matter how little they gave her. A nervous tick when it got close to the time for it, nose twitching and eyes fluttering, trying to stay still and waiting for someone to mention it because she knew she couldn’t first. Then she’d be given that look again, and she hated the humiliation that came with it.

She tries to fill the shame, the hurt and the anger with something. She studies, but that leads to headaches and a sore throat. She paints and the things that come out are dark and twisted and make those around her uncomfortable and worry about her. She dresses up, trying to see herself how she was, but it all felt like a sham. There was no confidence where it once lived. She eats and bakes, finding a productive distraction and gaining a slight bit of weight from where she’d lost it. But her appetite was still lackluster, the medicine saw to that. She wasn’t ready to try to add her former most favorite vice, sex, to the list but at least she could fathom the idea of it without becoming physically ill. Maybe things were getting better. But the voice in her head told her no as soon as the thought passed. That she was still very much broken and a failure, feeling slow in both mind and body still it was hard for her to be positive about anything. The depression was starting to set in.

With a memory that left something to be desired still, she’s grown the tendency to be forgetful. Clumsy and forgetful was preferred to hallucinating and passed out to everyone but her. The constant state of being aware of controlling herself left her exhausted most days and always on edge. She has the occasional tantrum, it couldn’t be helped, and with the lack of medicine given to help her calm down, it only made her angrier and fueled the fire of her fits. They were less often now, but more intense when they did happen. Big sweeping mood swings that took her wherever they wanted and she was was left to be used by her whims, whether the actions she took were something she wanted to do or not. They left her a crying mess. She only wanted to feel normal again. She didn’t know who this woman was that she’d become. She hates the anger she felt about her cravings for the medicine. She hates the flux of the ups and downs from it, but in her desperate moments, it’s the only thing that gives her some stability. She didn’t want to need it the way she did, another layer of anger born from shame. She felt weak and that was something she didn’t have much experience with.

On an afternoon spent dressing herself up for no reason, just passing time and listening to music to keep herself in good spirits she’s met with an undiagnosed stressor that had slipped between the cracks. A gossip hound by the name of Dorothy who did not have Genevieve’s best interests at heart. She was paid for information, not to tell that she was doing better. A saboteur sent in by one of the posh Jewish elite who did not approve of the Alfie and Gen’s underground lifestyle. Striking while the iron was hot and they were both at the most vulnerable they’ve ever been, Dorothy was there to make sure things didn’t run too smoothly for too long. Coming from the former biggest gossip in all of London’s employ, she knew how to stir a pot. And poor Gen, trusting those around her, as she had no other choice but to in her condition, never saw it coming.

“The horn section is lovely isn’t it?” Dorothy states, dusting around the gramophone.

The use of the word makes Gen’s nose twitch just as the maid knew it would. “Yes it is.” she answers with fluttering eyes and reaching for her large powder puff to fan herself with.

“I say, you’re looking rather glowing today, Miss. Like an inner light is coming out. I’m sure Mr. Solomons loves that you’re putting forth the effort in your appearance, hmm?” she makes casual sounding backhanded compliments as she moves around the room.

She sees Gen’s body language tighten and she keeps smiling as she works.

“You’ve put on some weight too I see. Filling out nicely. Looking healthy. All good things.” she chirps. “One would think there could be a little Solomons on the way with how you’re looking.” she gives an innocent scrunch of her nose and a kind smile. “Absolutely radiant.” she ends with a flourish. “And wouldn’t a baby be lovely? An excuse for all those sweets you’ve been making!” she lets out a light-hearted laugh. “Afterall, not many men would’ve stayed around through all this. You’re so very lucky to have Mr. Solomons. What a patient man.” she speaks softly.

“Yes. I am.” she mumbles, face turning downward now.

“Well, I’m finished in here. Anything else you need miss?” she asks putting a hand to Gen’s shoulder.

“No. Thank you.” she replies softly, eyes not meeting the maids, staring at her reflection in the vanity mirror.

“I don't care what anyone else says, I think you’re progressing just fine.” she gives a supportive nod. “Especially for what you’ve been through. My goodness. What a tragedy to befall such a woman who had such strengths. Surely a test. One you’re still working on mastering. We’re all waiting and watching...rooting for you Miss Durand. Have a good afternoon.” she says trotting out of the room, knowing the seeds were planted to make an eventful evening.

Every line had felt like a slap to the face for Gen. Every worry she had, some she hadn’t yet, all brought back out to the surface in a single conversation. If Gen had been herself she would’ve been impressed with the woman’s skill. Then she would have killed her of course for saying such things, but in this emotional state, she only felt sorry for herself. She looked at herself in the mirror. Were her breasts bigger? Was she getting too fat? Everyone was waiting for her to screw up again, she knew it. Apparently people were saying she wasn’t healing fast enough, but of course, they were. She wasn’t. And poor Alfie...he had been on the sidelines, merely a bystander in all this. It truly was a miracle he was still around. At this point he would be better off without her she thinks. She was only making his life harder.

Her eyes trail down to her stomach and she feels it flip with nausea. She had asked the doctor every time they were alone if her not bleeding was normal. There were no signs of pregnancy he said and the body can react wildly after trauma. That there was nothing he saw to worry about. But it didn’t stop the panic rising in her chest and bubbling up and out her throat in a choked sob. What if she was? What if a constant reminder of her weakness and this awful period of time we’re sitting right there. Taking root. It was her greatest fear and Dorothy had played into it seamlessly. All she had wanted before was to be pregnant. A happy accident, despite her timing the inward emissions of Alfie in her favor. Her mind had been all babies and happy thoughts attached and now it was of shame and upset. By far the biggest trigger of them all. She thinks of the children she’s seen. Wondering if they were a sign. Her dreams came true on occasion, so why not hallucinations?

Her hands clutch at the dress she wears, feeling sick rise in her throat. She gets intrusive thoughts of the time held captive again. Blood. So much blood. These were new, these weren’t her normal violent flashbacks, her eyes well up with tears and she starts to sob, feeling it all over again. Why was there so much blood she wondered? She feels it as if it’s real. Blood thick and caked on her skin, from her temples to her thighs, the sticky and awful feeling, the constant reminder of how battered she was. The constant worry there was too much of it, that was something was wrong with her. That panic takes hold of her and she starts wheezing, not catching her breath, holding her chest and gasping. She raises, wild-eyed and tries to make it to the bed to lie down, count like the doctor told her. But it was no use. This was too strong and she was too weak she thought. She knew what she needed.

She races in her tiny heels to the back innards of teh house to Aggie’s room. She’s in such a state she doesn’t hear Alfie calling for her as he sees her making a mad dash. Of course, his instinct is something is terribly wrong. And in a way it was, so he follows suit. He finds her on her knees with one of her hairpins in Aggie’s locked door.

His worry is replaced with hot anger, having to watch Gen give in and relapse in front of his eyes. “Gen!” he booms out and she doesn’t even notice. She barrels through the door and rummages loudly through Aggie’s things, finding the bottle of Morphine and finding it severely lacking in its contents.

She whimpers and whines, shaking it over her gaping mouth as she cries, mascara running down her face. She keeps wheezing, now at a total loss for how to handle herself.

Alfie barges in like a bull, one big swipe knocks the bottle out of her hands and it breaks against the wall. Her eyes turn large and terrified to him, but he doesn’t feel sympathy in the moment, only disappointment and anger. “Fuck’s sake Genevieve! Get ahold of yourself!” he says loudly as she cries, looking back over to where the bottle had broken.

“I can’t! I need it! I need it to STOP!” she wails loudly her head shaking back and forth dramatically.

“Gen!” he shouts again and she doesn’t stop, hands in her hair and groaning.

She was so desperate to make the fear and thoughts stop. But she just saw him there, silhouetted by that shifting yellow light over her. “I’m too weak. I can’t. I’m pathetic. It won't stop.” she pants, her face contorted into an ugly mash of pain and confusion.

“Get ahold of yourself woman!” he shouts, grabbing her tightly by the arms, making her stop hurting herself.

The rough handling of her snaps her from her self pity and kicks in her fight response. Her head snaps up, eyes dilated and black, intense as they glared into his own. “Don’t touch me!” she screams and struggles.

“I can’t fuckin’ trust you can I? Ya gonna fuckin’ hurt yaself!” he growls back as they wrestle back and forth. She was a lot stronger in the moment that he thought she could be in her condition.

“Stop it!” she fights back, kicking at him as he holds her up from falling and hurting herself, hitting something on the way down to the ground.

“No!” he yells angrily. “Look at you! Gen! Fuckin’ ‘ell girl CALM DOWN!” he roars, having to haul her back onto her feet.

She stops struggling and stands, face now full of betrayal as she shakes with the underlying anger.

“You need to get a grip on yaself Genny! Look at you! Why are you actin’ like this? Like a fuckin’ fiend! Are we going to have to lock you up next? Can you not be trusted anymore?” he asks with a low brow and harsh delivery.

“Let me go.” she demands, struggling against him mildly, her eyes looking more her old self in their fury.

“Fuckin’...NO! Why would I? Look at how you’re actin’! What is wrong with you?” he groans out loudly as her jaw clenches and she slaps him across the face, resulting in him very calmly letting her go and clenching his hands into fists at his sides. His nostrils flared and his eyes remained shut. He wasn’t going to hit her back. He wasn’t that sort of man. But she was bringing out the worst in him. They were bringing out the worst in each other.

“Don’t fucking touch me like that!” she shrieks, adjusting her dress. “I have a reason for acting this way! What about YOU?” she responds, shoving him out of the way and running off down the hall.

With her dress pulled high, she needed to escape. She needed out and away. She heads straight for the door, Joseph tottering after her as the staff had gathered cautiously to see what was happening.

“We’re going to London Joseph.” she announces with wild eyes and confidence to her face she hadn’t felt and no one had seen in some time.

“Miss I don’t think-”

“You are going to drive me to London or I will fucking DO IT MYSELF!” she screams as he hunches down and does as he’s told. What other choice did he have? “I’m not staying here. I can’t. I need to get out of my own head. I can’t stay. I can’t do it.” she mutters to herself, head shaking back and forth as they drive off as were her orders.

“Why are you just standing there! Go after her!” Aggie shouts in Alfie’s face, him standing where Gen had left him as he rubbed his temples.

“Send some of my boys after her. Watch her. We know what she’s fuckin’ doin’.” he shakes his head, his voice quiet and even.

“How are you so bloody calm?”

“Aggie... sweetie... calm is the last thing I am right now.” his voice was a deep hiss, his eyes almost hidden behind low brows. “But I...in my line of work have MUCH practice in withholding my true emotions. And I am using it to its full extent right now.” his jaw is tight, speaking through clenched teeth as he cracks his knuckles.

“But she’s ran away?”

“No. She’s going to get well pissed. That’s what she’s doin’. There wasn't enough of this fuckin’ JUNK to ease her and now she’s reverting to her immature behavior.”

“She’s not well Alfie, you need to remember.”

“IT’S ALL I FUCKIN THINK ABOUT YEAH?” he shouts in anger before composing himself and Aggie takes a step back. “I want to be so fuckin’ furious at her for this. I know I should be sympathetic. I know she’s not herself. But I am so close to just fucking off right now. And I know I don’t want to do that. And it’s all making me MORE angry because I can’t fuckin' control it. I control things Aggie, that’s what I fuckin’ DO. And I can’t her, right?”

“Neither can she. Remember that.”

“Oh, I do. And it just makes it worse.” he throws his arms up in the air. “I’ll go get her. Fuckin’... AGAIN.” he sighs and shakes his head. “I was prepared, yeah? To deal with the healing. I can grasp that. I can respect it. But this…” he motions to the broken bottle on the floor. “I’m having a bloody hard time respecting this.” he says with a groan. “This is just... weakness. This isn’t her. She’s not Gen when she’s on this shit.” he tells, walking around the bed and crunching the glass under his work boots. “There’s no more of this. Fuck that!” he says pointing to the same spot. “I’m done wif it. I ‘on’t care if the doctor says it’s helpin’, it’s fuckin’ not, right? Don’t get no more. Those are orders. You hear me? I know you’re soft Aggie but it’s time for some tough love for the old girl. Don’t ya think?” he asks, leaning over the small woman as she scrunches her face in a scowl. “This soft fuckin’ treatment innit doin’ a fuckin’ thing. She HATED bein’ coddled before. Remember? Do any of us ever remember fuckin’ BEFORE now?” he sighs and groans, rubbing his face.

“Yes sir.” she says coldly.

“Oh don’t give me that.” he responds with an aggressive nod. “Do you not think it’s time to reign her in?”

“I do. But I don’t like it.”

“Well, I ‘on’t fuckin’ LIKE it either! You think I want to be cruel to her? The woman I’ve promised to care for? To respect and protect?”

“It’s hard to tell with you lately.”

“Well, I fuckin’ don’t. But with someone like her…” he points in the direction Gen fled. “In a situation like this, perhaps sympathy isn’t what is needed. She needs a swift kick to the arse to make her see how she’s actin’. And I’m the only one what will tell her what she don’t wanna hear.”

“I hope you’re right. I’ll call the doctor and tell him no more medicine. In case she tries to get it herself.”

“Good girl.” he says giving her a strong pat the back and sauntering down the hall with hard steps that make his shoulder sway even more than usual.

-----

Genevieve had done exactly as Alfie knew she would. His men were out on alert for her in the city and they found her quickly. Out getting pissed at some east end shit hole where she didn’t have to pay for a thing.

“Alright. She’s had enough.” Alfie instructs, putting his watch back into his coat pocket. “Bring her out.” he orders with a flick of his wrist. “Be gentle but...make her. Try to appeal to her vanity. That usually works.” he states with a stern point of his finger to the lads given the job.

Gen, of course, did not want to leave. She didn’t want to see Alfie or hear about him or any man really. She wanted to be lost in the sounds and movements and be young and wild and free again. But the reality that she could no longer be any of those things, truly, would always come knocking. And in this instance, it was a few of the big boys of Alfie’s she knew. The muscle.

“Miss it’s time to go.” one says in her ear.

“No.” she declares defiantly. Like a child, really.

“Miss I must insist. We’re here on Mr. Solomons orders.”

“Fuck his orders.” she sass’s back and turns away and he takes her by the arm.

“We can take you out of here kicking and screaming but what would the gossip sound like if word were to get around, eh? So why don’t you walk out with us, and no one has to be any wiser as to what’s happening.”

She gives him a look that would normally make him worry, as he had heard about the things she’d done. “Don’t fuckin' touch me.” she growls, jerking out his grip. “Where is the bastard?” she spits out as she begins walking towards the door.

He waits, and it does take longer than expected. But there she came, mad as a wet cat, stomping, and hissing just the same towards his vehicle. She was uneasy on her feet, not stumbling but a drunken sway that told him he’d stopped her at just the right time.

He sits in silence, his hat on, cane in hand and posture straight as he makes her sit with her thoughts as they travel down the road. He eventually turns towards her and she’s pouting out the window.

“Gen, look at me.” he orders.

She, of course, doesn’t even acknowledge him. Sitting with her arms crossed and body language very clear she wanted nothing to do with him.

“Genevieve…” he warns. “Can you even hear me? Ya fuckin’ pissed innit ya?” he scoffs and waits.

She lets out a defiant huff through her nose.

“Fuckin’ look at me, woman.” he moves and takes her by the chin. He met with glossy and unfocused eyes and pouting lips. “Look at you…” he shames her and her lip quivers. “Fuckin’ mess.” he tsks and shakes his head. “Can you even respond to me ya little drunkard?” she speaks nothing and tries to move out of his grasp but he’s holding onto her too tightly. “Fuck’s sake Genny.” he presses his lips and sighs.

“I can.” she snaps back. “But what’s the fucking point?” she snarls.

“Because I asked you a fucking question dinnit I? Because you should explain this childish behavior. You’re not a fucking child. You’re not even that young, you’re a grown woman. You know better.” he speaks intensely but with a smooth delivery that makes her wants to slap him again. He was being too condescending. So patronizing it made her sick.

“Clearly I don’t.” she ejects back with a rough turn of her head that knocks her chin out of his grasp. He returns it slowly to the top of his cane.

“You’re some fuckin' junkie now and you’re just gonna give up? One bad thing happens and you just roll over and let your jellied brain just fuck you, eh?” he delivers harshly, knowing the words would hurt her, but it was his role to put the wild thing in her place before, and it only made sense he’d be the one now. He could handle her hating him. More people hated him than liked him, it wasn’t a bother to him. He knew that if she’d see a true relfection of herself, that she’d thank him one day for the honesty.

“One thing?” she shouts. “One fucking thing?” her voice cracks with emotion as she begins speaking with her hands. “My life has been nothing but bad things Alfie!” her voice was exhausted. ”One after another. Every fucking day!” she turns on her knees and screams at him. “I was there for DAYS, the things they did to me?! And you want to say it was ONE thing?” her French accent comes out, her finger pointing in his face as she let go of all that was building up inside her that the Morphine wouldn’t let her feel or communicate. “When you know how I was raised? What my father and his friends did to me? The kind’ve men I’ve had to get close to? The shit I’ve had to eat because of being a woman. ONE THING?” she screams in his face.

“And what good is complainin' and throwin’ a tantrum like a fuckin' little girl gonna do, eh?” he keeps his calm, and it makes her angrier. He should be as upset as her she thought. It wasn’t fair he got to be unbothered and she was left a mess.

“Fuck you Alfie!” she barks, sitting back and crossing her arms, looking out the window.

“I’d rather hear that then you feeling sorry for yourself.” he snarks with a raised brow. He was proud of her, actually. This was the most she’d talked about what had happened. She needed to feel these feelings, get them all out and that medicine had stopped it, stunted her and left her in an emotional purgatory.

“We can’t all have steel traps up here can we?” she replies, tapping her temple “We can’t all be fuckin’...made of stone and just push forward no matter what happens. Some of us are SOFT and FEEL things.” she answers with a quieter voice, but that did not mean she was less angry.

“If you think I don’t feel things you’ve not been payin’ attention.” his voice even, and lips pursed.

“So your reaction to my problem is to shake me and shout at me? To give me barked orders like a dog?” she questions incredulously.

“You haven’t listened to anythin' else.” he gives her a side-eyed glance and he can feel the heat radiating off her towards him.

“What else have you tried lately Alfie? Huh? I don’t even remember when I first came home, and I don’t remember you being soft with me once as of late. You’ve just given me that… fuckin’... look.”

“A look?” he answers a mild chortle.

“Yes like that! Like a disappointed father. Like you don’t even want me anymore. I’m just some burden to you.”

“Genny this behavior is a burden for a man like me.” he speaks plainly and it cuts her like a knife.

“Then why don’t you just fucking leave? If you hate me so much?” her eyes welling up with tears now, the anger shifting into hurt.

“I don’t hate you, but you’re actin' like a daft cu-.” he sighs. “I don’t hate you. If I did I wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t have been dealing with the things I have for you... from you.” he answers with a curt tone, his hand laying out his point as he spoke.

“Do you think what a woman like me needs right now is cold indifference?” her head shakes back and forth, in disbelief at how he was speaking to her.

“I don’t know what the fuck you need any more to be honest. This whole thing has turned you into someone I don’t know.” his eyes were more honest now, she recognized it.

“I could say the same.” she glares back, hiding the swell of emotions inside her. She didn’t want to break down again. She didn’t want him to have the satisfaction. And that was exactly what he had wanted out of her. He didn’t care if she had to use him and spite for him to gain the want to control herself. He just wanted her to control herself.

She sulks the whole way home, the anger fading, turning to sadness with the tiredness that overtook her body. He followed her into the bed room, as if nothing was wrong.

“Why are you staying around me?” she snaps as he sees the softness in her face.

“Because I have to, love.” he replies as he takes off his coat. He knew another flare was incoming.

“Why are you being so mean?” her hard exterior breaks and tears start to fall.

“You want to know? Truly? Can you handle it Genevieve?” he asks with a mean face that shows so sympathy for her tears.

She nods, “Yes. I can.” she says defiantly through tears.

He takes a deep breath and gives her the truth. “Because I just want my Genny back.” he admits with a shake of his head. The brief softness in his eyes making a sob bubble up in her throat. “I don’t know who this drugged up woman is that runs off in the middle of the night.” his voice lacked bite, but still felt harsh as it came out. “You did it once, and I was sympathetic, your sister passin’ ‘n all. But not with this. Not after all this time.” his face hardens, straightening his posture and looking her up and down, judging her. “You’re smarter than this Gen.” he says with exasperation. “You aren’t who I agreed to be with right now. And I just fuckin’ want some relief, I just want my Genny back, love, that’s all.” his brow was hard, his words even more so as they hit her in the chest like a kick.

“I am your Genny.” she sobs, voice so small. Her heart was broken, her faults laid out plainly for her to see. She could no longer ignore them. “I am. I’m just... I’m…” she breaks down and begins to cry. The fog she’d been in gone, the cold reality of her behavior hitting her now. Feeling every little thing, most importantly shame for the right reasons for the first time since the incident.

“But you’re not though are ya?” he leans towards her, his face still cold to her. “You’re not her right now, sweetie. Cause my Genny? She wouldn’t do any of 'is.” he motions to her, half bent and sobbing into her hands as he begins to walk away to leave her to her catharsis.

“I am your Genny!” she shouts and her voice breaks and cries, tears and snot and the whole mess, months of backed up and delayed revelations coming at her, feeling alone and ashamed. She watches him leave the bedroom as she calls out, not seeing the hurt on his own face for putting her through this. But he knew it had to be done, it was his role to be the one to do the things no one else wanted or could.

He sleeps in his old room that night, giving her time to wail it all out. And she did. She cried herself sick. But she didn’t drink, she didn’t ask for medicine, she didn’t ask for anything. She sat in front of the fire, thinking about the past few months and let out everything in wails and sobs. A cleansing she’d desperately needed.

——-

The next morning Alfie's conscience is weighing heavy. It didn’t happen often and he hated the feel of it. But he’d slept like shit and heard her crying all night and had to deal with the dirty looks from Aggie and Claire as he rose from the spare room. He wanders into the kitchen, asking for Genevieve’s favorite tea and sweets. It isn’t questioned and he shuffles his way to her room with the serving tray balanced in his hands. House shoes scuffing the stone floors while his pajamas slicked together from the soft fabric Gen insisted on them being.

She’s asleep in the floor, laid out on pillows and blankets in front of a dying fire. Her hair was covering her face and most of her body, a silk nightgown just visible underneath the veil. He stokes the fire and feeds it, then standing over her and clearing his throat, causing her to stir.

She whines and rubs her face, pushing her hair out of the way of seeing before focusing her eyes on his shoes.

“Oh.” She says sleepily, “It’s you.” She lets him know she wasn’t too keen on seeing him.

“I brought ya your tea and biscuits.” He offers in a friendly voice. Much more polite than anything they exchanged the night before.

“Thanks.” She grumbles, pulling herself off the floor and onto the couch.

“Would you like me to make your tea? Fetch you a robe?” He inquires.

“No.” She answers quickly, moving to prepare her tea herself. “I don’t want to be fucking coddled.” She forced out through a smart tongue.

He doesn’t find himself annoyed at her behavior. Even though that was clearly the case for her towards him. She was a crumpled, sickly looking mess but she was indeed herself. And that’s all he’d wanted. He’d missed that spark, that justified emotion, even anger towards him. He knew she was feeling more herself with her demand and he felt a small glimmer of hope.

“How are you feeling this mornin'?” He inquires with a tilted head her way.

“Like hell.”

“You do favor it, sweetie.” He says with a rub of his chin.

She raises her eyes in a glare his way but finds his face not aggressive. ”You look just as well Alfie.” She snarls back.

“I’d not only agree but say I feel much the same.” He nods and purses his lips I’m hesitant agreement.

“I’m going through withdrawal and dealing with a bastard of a ma What’s your excuse?”

“Dealing with a woman going through withdrawl and being a right bastard.” He retorts.

She actually felt inclined to smile at the remark. That would’ve been the first in months. The first non-drug induced one anyway. Normally the comment would’ve been met with a laugh and a little pinch of the cheeky man. Perhaps even a kiss for the self-deprecating humor. But all he saw was a flash of sarcasm in her eyes, but that was indeed enough to satiate him for now. A “Mmph.” nodded is all he is given in the meantime.

“Do you need anythin' this mornin'?” He asks cautiously. She always asked for her medicine with breakfast when it was not freely given.

“No.” She sighs out, teacup resting on her thigh. “I’m afraid I don’t have an appetite for much of anything else anymore.” Her voice is even but her hands shake. Her color was poorly, dark circles under her eyes and a pale complexion. A light cast of sheen from sweat on her skin. Her stomach growls and she rubs it with a wince. “Just send Aggie in. I’m feeling rather weak in the absence of the medicine and I’ll be taking to my bed today I believe.” She rises and puts the back of her hand to her mouth for a moment, nausea sweeping about her insides.

“Will do, love.” He says with a polite bow. “Any cause to call the doctor?”

“No. There’s nothing he can do for this.” She shakes her head. “I’ll just have to suffer until it’s out of my system. And what is more suffering for a woman like me?” She shrugs and looks his way. She was tired, bless her, in so many meanings of the word.

“It is nothing for a strong woman.” He states supportively.

She lets out an amused laugh, a single forced exhale of “Ha.” A scoff really. “When I see one I will be sure to give her my problems.” She rolls her eyes and rubs her stomach again as it growl and squeals.

“Mirrors in the bathroom.” He motions and she shoots him a side-eyed glance. “If you need me further I’ll be only a phone call away.”

“I won’t require you.” She answers curtly, not looking his way. It was the first time she’d not pouted when he mentioned leaving.

“I will be home for tea. Perhaps you will feel up to having it with me?” He questions as he moves toward the door.

“Perhaps.” She calls out in response. She pauses in the bathroom doorway as he does the same to the hall. “Perhaps not.” She says with a shrug and an almost sarcastic face.

He only gives her a nod in response, shutting the door behind him. He should’ve felt a burn of her being cold. But he didn’t. He knew she’d be mad with him for some time. But he was ready to weather it. She could be as angry as she liked, didn’t matter to him. Not when their well being, their business, and her recovery were at stake. He’d take all the anger from her in the world to get his Genny back.

Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

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[kaiterai]

reversal; the return to normal is impossible. an one-shot about clive attempting to save his broken friend.

applicable tws; mentions of death/murder, insanity, implied mutilation

Valentia Week, Day 3: Mercy

Inspired by Pardon the Executioner, written by cesau on AO3 (x).

Posted here on Wattpad (x), but will also be in the cut below! Sorry that there’s no graphic this time but it makes it cleaner^^ Thank you so much!

“It isn't working.”

Words. They clouded his mind as he scrambled for a reply to what the mage had just said, only to fail him moments later. Clive heaved a sigh, leaning on the wooden table in front of him - his wooden table, the one that was rightfully part of his room - and frowned as he waited.

“Genny and I have tried our best. The most recent cure was a failure: he was asleep for two days and ended up waking up the same way.”

She had fallen into dead silence after that, eyes looking down at Clive. The silence between them was clear; nobody wished to dare say anything. There was no need to elaborate. They already knew what she meant by the same way, and he could feel his stomach churn at the thought.

“Is there possibly anything else you can do before your departure?” he asked. “I-I’d be willing to do anything to help.”

“I can’t stay here forever to help you with him. I’ve told you. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work - the experimental cure worked better among witches than it did Duma Faithful, and even then, the chances are low.”

Clive paused. “Is it possible for you to give one last try?”

Sonya pondered the question, and he could only watch with anticipation. She had to say yes. Hopefully the cure would work, hopefully he could get his best friend back, hopefully he could apologize for not protecting him in battle and letting him fall to the glorious array of spells-

“One last attempt.” Her voice cut through the air. “If it does not work, then I’m sorry, but it will be time to let go.”

It took some more time to convince Sonya to hand over the keys to his room, a glorified prison cell that was filled with every last one of his few belongings and memories in hopes of saving his old self. But Clive knew that none of that had worked, and all that was put in his room remained untouched. Dust had even began to graze their surfaces, although nobody had the time or courage to clear it.

The brass key rested in his palm as he pushed open the door.

Clive was hit with an odd stench, one that he was getting used to. A whiff of medicinal herbs hit him, followed by a darker stench that blurred with the fresh herbs. It smelled remotely like ash and fire, with hints that he knew too well from the battlefield: the smell of death and fresh blood. He shuddered, trying to peer through the darkness and only seeing a dim candle all the way at the end of the room, right by the window.

He stepped in and closed the door behind him, making a show of locking it as Sonya instructed. She had advised for him to bring a small weapon with him as well, and the knife in his pocket was getting heavier the closer he stepped toward the candle.

The individual in question was leaning against the wall, glancing out of the window. Clive wasn’t sure what he could have been looking at, for there weren’t many things to see outside other than trees and the one river. Perhaps it was the moon that enchanted him, or the stars that he could follow to escape.

He seemed calm. Stable enough to perhaps speak with. Clive frowned quietly at his own thoughts. He was a person, not an animal that he could label with stable and unstable and words like that. He was still his friend, despite not even recognizing him. Despite once being his enemy. Despite everything.

“Lukas?”

He stayed still, the candlelight barely illuminating his red hair. Whatever he saw in the stars were clearly more important than Clive, and he couldn’t blame Lukas.

Clive took another step closer, before kneeling down slowly onto the floor. The stench was stronger here, but it was also strangely warmer compared to the hall outside. It was to the point where he would consider it sweltering, even. However, Lukas didn’t seem as if he was bothered by it. The window wasn’t open and he was sitting next to an open flame; Clive didn’t comment about that.

“Sonya will have another cure soon.” His voice was low and quiet. “I hope it works. It’s been ages since we’ve had any conversation, and the castle without my cold observer is odd.”

Lukas’s eyes stayed glazed.

He paused for a moment. “Lady Celica and King Alm are engaged. They intend on marrying soon, most likely at Zofia Castle instead of the new Valentia Castle… It would be nice if you could come. When was the last time you were able to relax?”

No reaction.

“You deserved better.” His voice quivered, and he found himself looking down at his hands instead of anywhere near Lukas. “You didn’t deserve your brother and your father, everything the Faithfuls did to you. You should have been living a life of splendor and joy, not this.”

Clive stayed silent after that. Perhaps he had said too much this time, but it was the truth. He was clenching his teeth and his hands were scraping themselves against the wooden boards; he couldn’t look at him, not yet, not yet, not yet-

He glanced up, only to meet Lukas’s eyes, still gently glowing purple.

A knock on the door. “Sir Clive?”

“Come in, please.”

Sonya’s voice. This meant that she had finished the last trial, the last attempt. Clive tried his best to ignore the empty tone in her voice, tried his best to pretend that it was just there because she was tired after all of her hard, successful work. Perhaps it was. He wasn’t sure.

Something was in his throat. There was a pressure that pushed against his chest. This would be the final attempt. If it worked, then Lukas would be fine, and if it didn’t…

He wouldn’t know what to do.

The door to his office swung open, revealing Sonya. She stood there, her usual demeanor gone and replaced with a straight face. There was a little sigh as she stepped in, gently shutting the door behind her before slowly making her way over to his desk. She was holding herself in the same way as before, though, and his dying hope tried to reassure that everything was alright.

His back was perfectly straight, his hands folded so tightly in front of him that his nails were digging into his flesh. His eyes were widened, trying to force himself to hear two perfect words: “He’s fine.”

But instead, Sonya looked him in the eye and handed him the vial, shattered into an endless number of pieces.

“I’m sorry.”

He sat there in the room. The stench was now one that comforted Clive in some odd way as he watched Lukas struggle through the effects of the many cures that were used on him. They never cured him entirely, and only suppressed a few symptoms every once in a while.

His last few visits were all unlucky ones. The door would open and he would be greeted by a ball of red, curled up against the wall. There was always shaking, yet never any tears or screaming or anything - it was almost as if Lukas was unable to scream anymore.

And, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that not a word had been said by Lukas, even when he was their enemy. The more he thought, the more he realized that no sound came out of his mouth, just rushed, wild breaths. That was a revelation he saved for himself, although he wouldn’t have been surprised if Sonya knew about it already.

A hand reached for Lukas, attempting to comfort him as he sat there. His entire frail frame was trembling under his touch. His hands were reaching for his hair that had begun falling out a few weeks ago, hair that had grown quite long and desperate for a trim. His skin was ashen, with hints of purple and blue that tinged parts of his skin. Clive’s finger grazed it, expecting a violent reaction, only to receive nothing.

The spots were growing larger. He hoped it was only his imagination.

He frowned. Sonya’s words weren’t leaving his thoughts nowadays. They were stuck with him no matter how much he wanted to forget it all, but he couldn’t.

There’s nothing you can do but kill him, Sir Clive. To live a life of suffering, to be a prisoner, to be regarded as an animal and confined to a life of cures and medication that don’t work…

He sucked in a breath.

… I would rather die. It would be a mercy.

But he couldn’t kill Lukas, he couldn’t hurt anyone that wasn’t Lukas and yet looked like him, he couldn’t do anything. This was his best friend. He couldn’t do it. He was weak, and he had always known that; this only proved it. Being able to kill someone you trusted your life with was a power that he didn’t have, and a power he never wanted to have until now.

The knife in his pocket felt heavy. It felt odd.

It was itching for usage that Clive couldn’t provide, and he could only watch Lukas suck in a harsh, silent breath as the room grew colder and colder.