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[vilsoo]

omg thxs for being comfortable to listen to us ramble in the first place!!😭

there’s nothing more appreciative to me than my notifs being flooded with my readers going crazy in my replies/tags about my fics !! my heart literally skips a beat when i click read more and see a long ass essay about their thoughts 😭💗

[woahjo]

The People We Became (Bakugou x Reader)

masterlist | ao3

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Summary: Zombie Apocalypse Au.

The world fell apart almost a year ago and you refused to go with it. Left alone and to your own devices in a world full of monsters, where the dead come back to life, you believe that maybe surviving isn't living.

When Katsuki finds you alone in the woods and on the precipice of collapsing from exhaustion, he decides to bring you back to the house his group calls home. Against your better judgement and hesitancy to become attached, you decide to stay. In this world, everyone has lost someone. No soul is spared the violence, and you start sleeping with Bakugou Katsuki to dull the ache. Somehow, peace finds you anyway, but not without sacrifice.

Chapter Content Warnings:  fem!reader, gender neutral pronouns, strangers to lovers, violence typical of zombies, blood, gore, romance, slow-ish burn (for the emotional stuff), angst, kissin', questions of identity, loss, grief, graphic depictions of death and/or violence, mentions and descriptions of starvation/exhaustion typical of an apocalypse setting, very slight implications of possible sexual violence typical of an apocalypse setting, derealization, depersonalization, weapons (guns, blades, and traps), loss of identity

All content warnings can be found on ao3 with the rest of the series.

Word Count: 14.4k — 53k total on ao3

A/N: it's finally done... i'm sweating. i screamed. i cried. i bled. you know the drill. i am posting this a little differently than my other fics and series. only the first chapter will be posted here on tumblr (this post), with the rest of it broken up into chapters and posted on ao3.. purely because it was originally meant as a one shot and i don't like posting chapters on tumblr. it's not built for that and im tired. anyway, im nervous this is my new baby and im pretty sure my soul is somewhere in here. if u read this, pls come tell me what you think.. it fuels me. enjoy, cry, sweat, or whatever else you do when you read. as always, thank you and i love you.

Two hundred and seventy six. It’s been two hundred and seventy six days since the world completely went to shit. You don’t really count the initial outbreak. The initial outbreak was relatively contained once people found out about it. You quarantined. You stayed inside. All it really took were a handful of idiots. Someone selfish. Someone who panicked and ran instead of facing the world honorably, and that was it. It only took days to lose almost every semblance of a normal life and a week to lose everything else. 

The light of your fire is dim, embers burning low as you sit in a foldable chair beside it. The chair is from a friend, someone you’re not with anymore and who went somewhere you couldn’t follow, and you've got a metal spatula in your hand. You're not sure why you grabbed it when you fled, but panic does weird things to the mind. You absentmindedly wonder why you’ve brought it along with you all this time. There’s no logical reason for you to tote the thing around. A friend had told you how strange it was that you thought to toss it into your bag and continue carrying it. This, along with a few other oddities, are all you managed to take from your house when the world fell to ruin. Everything else are things scavenged along the way or from people you'd met, joined, and lost. 

Maybe it’s because the spatula is somewhat normal, like somehow when you cook the game on your makeshift tin over your shitty fire, you can pretend you’re in your kitchen. A smash burger sounds good right now, with grilled onions on a brioche bun like the ones from the place by your apartment. 

The night is near silent and trees creak and crack like the hulls of great ships under heavy pressure, but the birds don't sing and nothing in the crowded wood you're taking shelter in makes a sound. Well, except for you and the gentle crackle of your fire. 

It’s easy to miss the noise that used to irritate you when the world goes quiet. You used to hate the sounds and lights of passing trucks when they’d cross on the street below your apartment window. Now, you’d do anything for the familiar comfort. The world is so dark and quiet, like it’s holding its breath and waiting for this to be over. The silence is almost too much, so loud that it hurts your ears. You huddle closer to the fire, craving its quiet sound. Focusing on it lessens the anxiety of the other noises. The ones you don’t want to hear. 

Your head is on a swivel. It has been for months. Ever since the outbreak, ever since the dead rose and began consuming and infecting the living, you've kept watch. A paranoid, never ending cycle that you suppose—if left on your own—will burn itself out. You swallow thick and return your attention to the fire, watching the tree line just in front of you for any hint of movement or monsters. 

A branch cracks just behind you. A swift sound, followed by rapid footsteps. You stand, quickly turning your head, only to see a figure a few feet away from you. They move quickly and the dancing light of the fire obscures their features from view. Their eyes, most importantly. You can always tell if someone is dead or alive based on their eyes and the sounds that their joints make. In this light, should this stranger have that milky white film over them, you wouldn't be able to tell. 

You make a small noise, something between a whimper and a shout, as the person comes to a stop in front of you and holds a flashlight directly into your face. You squint, panic in your veins as your eyes adjust as best they can to the sudden assault. It takes you a moment to realize that there is a gun pointed directly at your forehead. The living. This person is alive. You're not sure yet if encountering one of the dead would have been worse. 

"Shut up and drop your weapon," he says in a hurried voice. It's aggressive and threatening. It comes from deep in his chest, like somehow fear has gripped and mutilated it into something violent. 

You raise your shaky hands to your head quickly at the order, screwing your eyes shut in the beam of the flashlight. 

"It's not a weapon!" you shout, voice cracking. "It's a spatula. It's a spatula." 

The words are rushed and heavy, fear seizing your chest as you look down the barrel of the gun. The flashlight turns off, sending you back into the dark. Your eyes fight to adjust, catching the firelight that glints off of the barrel, and you begin to makeout the man’s features. He's big, blonde under the grime, you think. A man, not the best thing to encounter alone at night in times like these. 

You see him hesitate for a moment, eyes darting between you and the silver kitchen item in your hand. You drop it quickly, hoping to appeal to his humanity. 

"Do you have a weapon on you?" he questions, voice a little less urgent. 

You shake your head in response and then shakily look beside the chair, choking out the word “ground”. There's a knife there and a pistol with no bullets. You're a poor shot and you had run out of ammo the previous week. He glances at it, the gun still raised at you, and sidesteps to grab the two items. When he does, he cautiously lowers the weapon and you start to lower your trembling hands. 

Then, as if struck by some realization, the man stomps towards the fire and you jump as he does.

"The fuck are you doing lighting a fire this late?" he says angrily, opening the clip of your pistol. "And with no fucking bullets. Those things may be dead, but they can still fuckin' see. That's a good way to get yourself killed." 

He stomps out the fire as he talks, urgently stamping out what's left of the low-burning logs. 

"I didn't think there were many in the area," you justify, furrowing your eyebrows as you step away from him. 

"And that's a risk you want to take?" he says indignantly. You wonder briefly what business he has worrying about you. 

"What do you want?" you snap, "My food? Weapons? Life? What is it?" 

The man scoffs, "Jesus, none of that. I don’t want your shit." 

You narrow your eyes and take a step back. One thing this world has done is remove trust from every chance encounter, and that was already hard enough when the place was sane. 

"Not all people who camp out in the woods are good," he says. "But I sure as shit didn't expect to find someone like you alone lighting a damn fire. Stupid." 

"There were others," you say indignantly, like somehow that makes it better. "Force of habit, I guess." 

The man pauses for a moment as understanding passes between the two of you. It's a relatable feeling. Everyone has lost someone now. 

"Got a name?" he asks. 

You hesitate in giving it to him and the pause causes him to roll his eyes. “You want me to call you Idiot-with-no-bullets instead?” 

You give him your name and the man nods as if he likes the sound of it, turning it over in his head before inhaling. 

"I'm Katsuki," he furrows his eyebrows. "You're alone?" 

You nod, swallowing down the grief that pushes at your throat. 

"Wasn't always," you respond, "but yeah. Now, I am." 

He nods his understanding. 

"Come with me." 

"Where?" you say instinctively, a defensive edge to your voice. Katsuki looks at you as if you’re stupid, or maybe it's pity, like you're a wounded animal. Probably both. 

"Where the fuck do you think?" he retorts. "We've got a camp a little ways from here. I saw your fire from the watch post we have stationed." 

You look at him like he's a little crazy for even thinking to bring you. Kindness, especially the selfless type, is so rare now and you find it difficult to believe that he’s willing to take you there at no cost. 

He scoffs and rolls his head over his shoulder. "Look, we've got men and women," then he pauses. "Used to have children. We're not gonna hurt you. World's gone to shit, do you really wanna keep at it alone?" 

He's probably right. You've been alone for weeks now, exhausted for longer, and though your common sense tells you not to go off with a strange man in this kind of world, the promise of rest is far too tempting. You nod and glance back to your camp. A measly collection of supplies haphazardly put together. You suppose that it doesn’t look so promising. 

"We'll come back for it when it's light," he says. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather not spend longer in these dark ass woods than I have to." 

"Okay," you say. The presence of another person both sets you on edge and makes you feel the press of fatigue even more. A gun's barrel on your nose followed by the promise of safety and you're going with him? You must be stupider than a horror movie protagonist. "Do you take in a lot of strays?" 

Katsuki looks over his shoulder and you think you see him smile a little at the phrase. 

"If that's what you want to call it," he says begrudgingly. Then, with a softer tone of voice, barely noticeable with the quiet whisper you both have been speaking at. "I'm sure the others won't mind one more."

You nod a little and follow him through the wood, stepping over obstacles. Your eyes have adjusted to the dark, but you feel unsteady on your feet. Everything you’ve ever learned about this world tells you that maybe you shouldn’t go with him. What if they’re dangerous? It’s easy to lie about women and children, about a community that doesn’t exist. Or worse, it’s easy to fool yourself that where you are is good, but you don’t know yet if he’s the type to delude himself. He doesn’t seem it. 

The two of you walk for what feels like forever, even if it is only a little over half a mile. Your feet have been aching for days and every step you take feels like a blade into the heel. Katsuki seems steady, his gun secured at his hip and a large knife in his dominant hand. He doesn’t have the flashlight out, but he seems sure-footed and takes every step in stride, as if he’s too heavy to be swayed by any missed step. 

As you move, you can barely make out his back in the white tank top he wears. You use it as a landmark, following the glowing white as it catches the light from the moon. Like chasing a ghost through the trees. 

Then, the wood eases up. The trees grow sparse and the suffocating humidity of the forest eases into a more breathable, open-air breeze. Katsuki steps out into a clearing. It’s relatively small, for how large the world is, but it’s some of the most open space you’ve seen in a while. The feeling of stepping out into the tall grass, where you’re both visible to any wandering thing, sends a rush of fear through you. 

By the edge of the clearing, there’s a small house with a short steeple. It almost looks like a Christian church, but you get the sense that it’s likely a barn. That must be the watchtower and you wonder just how good the view of the forest is from up there if Katsuki managed to see the light of your fire. How many other people had seen your fires over the weeks and not made it out to confront you? How close had you come before to safety or annihilation? 

"Hey!" a girl's voice calls. "He's back!" 

In the near distance, you can see a large and dimly lit house. It looks a little worn down, but soft and hardly noticeable light emanates from it in a way that makes it seem inviting.You can’t make out its exact silhouette and night blurs just how broken-down it is, but you can tell that people live there in the same way you can tell when someone has just left a room. 

Someone runs across the field to you both. It looks like a man and a woman, maybe around Katsuki's age. They move quickly through the tall grass and for a moment, the urgency that they move with frightens you. You worry that your presence will ignite some protective sort of panic. You linger back, letting Katsuki grow a little farther from you as they call out to him. 

“Yeah, yeah," he half-shouts, no longer seeming to care about keeping quiet. Guess that's what happens when there's a group. "I found the fire I mentioned." 

The two come to a stop in front of him, resting their hands on their hips as they catch the breath they lost. 

"We started to get a little worried," says the girl. She's pretty, with big eyes and curly hair that looks like it probably used to be dyed. "You've been gone for a while." 

"Well, I'm back," he says. 

"And you brought a friend," the other man says, sounding shocked. His tone is noticeably kind. The boisterous type of kind and when he smiles, you can see that he has sharp canines. His hair is straight, sticking out in different directions, and tinged with red in this light.

"More like an acquaintance," Katsuki says. “I found them in the woods with a fire and an empty clip. Felt like their blood would be on my hands if I didn’t bring them back.” The red-haired man gives him a telling look and Katsuki scoffs in response and turns to the girl. "Get them settled, Mina, will you?" The girl called Mina nods and Katsuki takes off toward the house without another word. 

"You're lucky," she says, pausing when you flinch as she steps closer. "You're gettin' the last solo room in the place. Kirishima, is it set up?" 

Kirishima shrugs his shoulders. "You'd have to ask Izuku. He'd know all about that, but I can go check." 

Mina shakes her head and turns her attention to you, giving you a quick once over with her eyebrows pulled together.

"You must be tired.” 

When you nod, she gives you an empathetic smile and motions for you to come with her. "We'll fix that. You hungry?" 

"What do you think?" you manage, saliva pooling in your mouth. "Do you have food?" 

"Plenty," she smiles. "not quite enough for leftovers just yet though, don’t tell anyone." 

You smile awkwardly. Who on earth would you tell? 

"Sounds like a good deal," you say. 

You follow Mina up to the house. Around it, there are a few parked cars. They look like they could pull out at any moment, and through the dust covered windows, you can just make out supplies in the back seats as you pass. In the distance, you can see the fuzzy silhouette of the barn you’d assumed was a watchtower in the dark of the field and you figure that maybe it used to be a place to keep livestock. 

Mina doesn't say much to you as you pass through the field, and when you walk into the door, the first thing you notice is a large group of people seated at a dining table. They all look up at you when you enter and it's with a bit of shock that you register their faces as healthy. Well, healthier. These people live well. Something stirs in your chest, both anxiety and excitement at the thought of possibly having found somewhere safe. They blink at you for a moment, exchanging looks that all end up landing on Katsuki. 

"This is the group. Well, most of us," Mina says pleasantly and with a light huff. "That's Izuku, Denki, Ochako, Sero, and you already know the handsome guy on the end there. Kiri's probably checking to see if the room is half decent.." They all greet you with a glad murmur. "Group, this is..." 

She looks at you expectantly. When you tell them your name, you can't help but look at Katsuki who already knows it. He raises his eyebrows unconsciously and turns his attention to the glass in front of him. 

There’s an awkward pause as you stand in the doorway, suddenly conscious of just how dirty you must look. Remnants of an older world, you suppose. No one really worries about things like that anymore.

“Uhm…” you search for something to say, but your people skills seem to have left you. 

“You’re okay,” Mina says lightly. “Plenty of time to get to know you when you’ve rested and had something to eat.” 

Mina sits you down at a chair that she pulls in from the other room. It doesn't match the other ones in the dining room, but you suppose no one is really thinking of the decor in their house anymore. It's only now that you realize the house has electricity.

"You have power?" you say incredulously, looking at the center light in the dining room on its low setting. 

"Mhm," Mina hums as she sits down next to you and spoons a helping of vegetables onto your plate. "It's got a generator. We got lucky finding this place. I don't think many of us would be alive if we hadn't." 

Those listening in the group nod their affirmation. 

"It draws from well water too," she adds. "With the right care, the place practically runs on its own. Hard work but what isn't nowadays?" 

“Like you do any of the heavy lifting," Sero scoffs across from her.

"That's not fair," Katsuki adds with a slick smirk, "you know damn well none of our vegetables would be so well socialized if she didn't use them like a damn diary all day." 

The group laughs a little and Mina rolls her eyes and sits back in the chair. You avoid looking at anyone, shoveling the food into your mouth. You’re salivating an almost embarrassing amount, struggling to eat at a normal pace. There’s something about food cooked inside, about the way food tastes when you can smell it wafting in from the kitchen. 

"Don't worry," she turns to you, as if you’re at all concerned with the implication that she doesn’t do much work, "they know we’d hardly have vegetables at all if it weren't my job to tend them. I used to garden quite a bit before all of this." 

Sero tosses her a sideways glance and you get the sense that maybe it isn’t just her doing it. 

"Mina does a lot of the garden stuff," Ochako pitches in, her voice hesitant. "We all sort of just do what we can." 

You can’t really keep up with the conversation and instead just blink at her for a moment before turning back to your food. Maybe that’s rude, but you don’t have the energy to consider it. There’s food in front of you. Food that doesn’t taste like it’s been poorly slaughtered or rotting in a cabinet for months. 

The group at the table with you shifts back into what you feel is their normal conversation and you watch them through your peripheral. You can’t relax yet, maybe you never will. Always on watch with your guard up. 

They pass the dishes around the table, plates going from hand to hand over mismatched sets of silverware. The action feels strange to you. Your chest squeezes at the thought. Just a few weeks ago, you’d done this around a fire with the people you loved. You’d passed a too-hot-to-touch pot around a circle of friends, laughing quietly at the little moments of joy you could find. It feels far away now and jealousy rouses beside hope as you sit. 

“So, where did you come from?” Izuku at the end of the table asks. 

It takes you a moment to realize that he’s talking to you and there’s an edge to his voice that has everyone at the table sitting up with curiosity. You stare at him for a moment, exhausted and defeated and unable to muster the words. 

“Leave them be,” Katsuki says, looking up from his plate. “They just got here. They’re probably freaked out.” 

The table goes a little quiet, a hush falling over it. You look around as glances are exchanged before Mina stands up quickly and quietly claps her hands together. 

“I think,” she says with an awkward laugh, “it may be time for bed.” 

Mina turns to you. “I’ll show you where you can sleep.” 

You nod, standing up and turning to the group with furrowed eyebrows. You want to thank them, to tell them that you’re grateful for the meal and their kindness, but the words don’t come. Instead, you meet Katsuki’s gaze, grateful for the intervention, but suspicious at such forthcoming kindness. He scoffs a little and turns away. 

—

“It’s just up here,” Mina says as she guides you through the house.

You pass rooms with their doors ajar. They are lived in, with unmade beds and glasses of clean water on nightstands. It’s like something out of a life gone by, with a few less amenities. You can imagine a family moving through this house. Girls in school uniforms calling through the halls about a stolen hair clip. Now, you picture these people doing that. Living and not just surviving.

“The bathroom is across the hall,” she says. “You can take a shower if you want. I’ll leave a towel and some clothes in there just in case.”  

You nod. 

“No worries if you don’t,” Mina adds in a whisper. “When I first met everyone, I didn’t undress to bathe for days so… take your time. We won’t be offended.” 

She shuts the door behind her when she leaves and you stumble back onto the bed, shocked by just how soft it feels after spending weeks on the floor. It’s not much, but it’s nicer than anything you’ve experienced in the last nine months, and there's a working shower. You haven’t had a shower since everything fell apart and the layer of grime on your skin is so thick that you can feel it. You haven’t felt safe enough to properly wash since you’d lost the rest of your group, only stopping to rinse your body in streams you pass if the thought occurred to you. The idea of running water and a shower is near euphoric. 

You probably shouldn’t. It may not be wise to shower tonight. You still don’t know these people or what they’re capable of, but the temptation of being clean is too great and as soon as you hear Mina close the bathroom door and walk away, you hurry across the hall on the balls of your feet. 

The bathroom looks old and the sink is white porcelain, eggshell now with a lack of care. The shower has a bathtub in it and though it’s cloudy, there’s a mirror over the sink where you catch the first clear glimpse you’ve had of yourself in weeks. 

You don’t know who you’re looking at. The person in the mirror is nearly unrecognizable. Their eyes are wide and frightened, wild like an animal’s, and their face is covered in a layer of grime that looks like it can never be washed out. Their hair is unruly, sticking out in some areas and matted down with blood in others. This is a person you’ve never seen or met before. Someone you would have avoided only a year ago if you’d ever encountered them. 

You reach up to touch your face, running your hand over the dried blood that has made a home on the underside of your jaw. How long has it been there? Have you always looked so unwell? So sick in mind and body? The promise of a shower grows unbearably pleasant. 

The knob squeaks when you turn it, screeching as the pipes hum and clang to life. Water spits out in a few bursts before raining down from the faucet and hitting the back of the tub in a steady thrum. It sounds a little bit like music to you, constant and heavy, and it gives the impression of normalcy as you begin undressing. 

The fabric of your clothes sticks to your skin, peeling from your body in an unbearable and disgusting way. You don’t look at your body in the mirror. In fact, you avoid it entirely. Not recognizing your face was enough, but your body—a part of yourself you never really recognized—would drive you over the edge. 

Then, you pull the shower curtain back and stick your hand under the water, stepping into it fully with a deep sigh. The water is lukewarm. They probably turned off the heater to conserve power and allow the main generator to function for longer. That’s fine. Beggars can’t be choosers and everyone is a beggar nowadays. Besides, it’s warm enough outside that the water isn’t too cold as it is. In the winter, you probably wouldn’t be able to shower and the pipes might freeze entirely until the following spring. 

There’s a normalcy that you settle into as you wash your body. You return to muscle memory, running your hands over your skin and scrubbing the grime out. It’s simultaneously like the first shower of your life and as if you’ve been doing it every day. You return to a state of pleasant, familiar humanity as you wash away dirt that has built up for weeks. You feel as it pours off of you, see it run down your body onto the porcelain of the tub and swirl down the drain. It’s dirt and dried blood that has been caked onto your skin. You worry that even after washing, it will leave a permanent mark. 

The person in the mirror when you get out of the shower is in stark contrast to the person who went into it. They’re someone that you recognize. You could almost convince yourself that nothing ever changed. Your water-soaked skin is so familiar to you, that you could be getting out of the shower and dressing to go to work. If it weren’t for the look in your eyes, you could have fooled yourself. Something undefinable has changed in you, something that you will carry with you forever. You glance at yourself in the foggy mirror and think that there is no going back. 

The house is quiet when you dry yourself and open the bathroom door. You step across the hall on the balls of your feet, careful not to make any noise, and when you push the bedroom door open, you do a visual sweep to make sure that it’s safe out of habit. 

Your body is exhausted. You are so thoroughly tired that you think you could collapse at any moment, but when you sit down on the bed in your fresh clothes, you find yourself restless. This place is new to you and you’re unsure if the safe feeling is your mind playing desperate tricks on you or the real thing. The lamp by your bed is on, casting a yellow glow across the bedsheets and the dark wood furniture. Come to think of it, you didn’t get a good look at the house when you came in and the thought starts to bother you as you stare at the closed door to the hallway. 

Someone could be behind it. They could be waiting for you to lay down, to sleep, before doing something awful. You almost feel guilty for thinking this way about them. They’ve fed you, given you a shower, given you fresh clothes. Luxuries you weren’t sure even existed anymore, yet you’re sitting here doubting them, wishing you had your pistol or knife.

The bedroom door creaks as you open it. You wince, nervous that you’ve disturbed the quiet peace of the house and that everything will come crashing down as quickly as it seemed to come together. The hallway is dark, save for some light coming from under two doors at the end of the hall. One of them turns out as you creep past it to the stairs, and you hear the distinct sound of box springs squeaking as someone crawls into bed. You let go of the breath you’d been holding, straightening up as you relax into the late-night environment. 

The house looks old even from the inside. It gives the impression of having once been dirty and in near disrepair. There are dust stains and dull spots that no amount of scrubbing could get out. You can almost picture how this place may have looked when they found it and it’s entirely possible that it had been abandoned before the actual outbreak. Someone run out of their home for lack of money. What a trivial thing now. 

The stairs are sturdy, probably held together so well by the foundation of the house, and they’re made of dark wood. They’re steep too, the kind that a baby or old person might trip over, and you hold the railing to calm the shaking of your legs as you slowly feel your way down. You can see the light on in the kitchen from around the corner, spreading out onto the floor of the old fashioned drawing room. Dishes clink in the kitchen, like someone is washing them, and you jump a little at the noise as you creep around the corner. 

Kirishima is standing at the sink with his back to you, whispering something to someone beside him. The expanse of his back is broad, moving every time he goes to run his hand over the dish in front of him. Then, he turns to look at you and you see Mina pop her head around the corner. 

“Oh,” Kiri says, “did you need something?” 

You shake your head. “Not really, I just couldn’t sleep.” 

Kiri nods sympathetically as if he knows the feeling. “Well, you look like you feel a little better at least.” 

You pad over to where he’s doing the dishes and Mina offers you a soft smile and a knowing look. It all seems so normal. Doing the dishes, whispering quietly as they do. Something about it screams a kind of humanity you haven’t experienced in a long while, even with your last group. 

“Are you sure we can’t get you something?” Mina says, furrowing her brows. 

“Why are you all being so nice to me?” You ask. “You don’t know the first thing about me.” 

“Is there some reason why we shouldn’t be nice to you?” Kiri says over his shoulder. 

“No,” you shake your head. “I just think it’s reckless, that’s all. I could have been anyone.” 

Kirishima and Mina exchange a look. They glance at each other, like they’re debating on saying something, and then Kiri turns and rests his palms on the back of the sink. He looks at Mina. 

“We don’t usually decide to do this so quickly,” she admits. “We’re friendly, but nobody’s that friendly anymore.” 

Kiri nods his agreement and you listen quietly, trying to determine if they plan to toss you back out into the woods in the morning. 

“But, Katsuki doesn’t usually bring people in,” she continues. 

“He’s a little more closed off than the rest of us,” Kirishima adds. “He’s a good guy, just takes a while to warm up, is all.” 

“Mhm,” Mina says. 

“What does that have to do with me?” you ask. “This is nice and all, but I’m sure you get why I’m wary.” 

“He’s a good judge of character,” Kiri adds earnestly. “He doesn’t bring people in often, but when he does, he’s usually right.” 

You nod, not quite understanding. Sure, you don’t plan to do anything terrible. In fact, you’re content to accept their kindness and stay, if they’d let you. Anything is better than being alone, but their blind trust in one man’s judgment of character makes you uneasy. 

“He was alone for a really long time,” Mina adds. “A lot of us were. I got lucky meeting Kirishima early on, but Katsuki’s luck was a little less fortuitous.” 

“So you all just… happened upon each other by chance?” You ask. 

“Yeah, pretty much,” Mina says. “It was me and Kiri for a long time. Just the two of us. We’d found Izuku and Katsuki together a while later, but they didn’t seem to like each other all that much. We still haven’t really figured that out, especially because they’re so close now. Ochako and Sero ended up cornered together by accident. We found them just before we found this place, and Denki just sort of showed up here one day and promised to fix the generator in exchange for safety. That was months ago. We’ve been like this since.”

“So you’re all strays,” you say and Mina laughs a little and looks at Kiri. 

“Sure,” she says. “We’re all strays. There were others too. Shoji. Jirou. She was Denki’s girlfriend.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say with a frown. It feels pointless to apologize for the dead, if you get caught up in it, you’d be apologizing forever. 

“Don’t be,” Kiri adds. “But best not to bring her up. It was pretty recent and Denki’s only just started to get over it.” 

You swallow thick and nod a little. 

“Anyway,” Mina says, “we can’t really explain it. We just trust him. We trust Katsuki. That’s all.” 

“Hm,” you hum, understanding that to a degree. 

You trusted the people in your group. If they believed in someone, you were willing to as well, so you suppose you can understand a little where they’re coming from. 

“What are you talking about,” Katsuki rounds the corner, walking into the kitchen and putting his water bottle under the sink. 

“Nothing really,” Mina says. 

Katsuki furrows his eyebrows and then looks at you. He gives you a once over, taking in your new clothing before scoffing lightly. 

“Don’t you look cozy,” he says. “You get settled?” 

“When can I go get my stuff?” You ask. 

“Someone’s eager,” he says through lightly gritted teeth. “Didn’t I tell ya we could go in the morning? Besides, what’s there really to miss in that lot of junk?” 

“Katsuki!” Mina quietly chides. 

“I have things I care about there,” you say. “Things I’m not ready to lose.” 

Katsuki blinks at you for a second before swearing under his breath. “We’ll leave when you get up in the morning.” 

“You don’t have to come with me,” you say, frowning a bit at his sour attitude. 

“Like hell,” he scoffs. “What if the dead are waiting back there for you?” 

“I made it this far on my own,” you respond. 

Katsuki nods for a second. “I’m going. Come find me in the morning.” 

He walks off and around the corner. You hear him go up the stairs, followed by the distinct click of a bedroom door shutting. 

“Don’t pay too much attention to that,” Mina says. “It’s past his bedtime.” 

“You’ll get used to him,” Kiri adds. 

“Right,” you say, swallowing down your frustration in favor of trying to be appreciative of the help. You sway on your feet a little and then steady yourself. “I’m going to go to sleep. Thank you for the meal and the bed.” 

Mina and Kiri nod, but you don’t stick around to hear a response. Fatigue creeps up on you. It ambushes your senses and you go from feeling dream-like to delusional in a matter of moments. You make your way up the stairs, your body feeling heavy as lead, and wobble your way into the bedroom they’re letting you stay in. 

When your head hits the pillow, you’re out. The world around you fades to dark and just before you sleep, you swear that you can hear the sounds of cars passing on the highway. A busy night, Saturday maybe, and people go about their daily lives outside of the window the way that they always have. They live, never the wiser to just how quickly things fall apart and how little it takes for our humanity to leave us. 

— 

Mornings in this place are boisterous. The sun coming through the lone window in your room wakes you up and you can hear the calls of busy people getting to work outside. There are voices from the porch out front that your window looks over and though you can’t see them, you get the sense that they’re having a pleasant conversation. 

As you rouse, you come to the realization of just how exhausted you’d really been. They probably saved your life by bringing you to this place, feeding you, and offering you a bed. In hindsight, it’s easy to see just how little you had left in you. You get the sense now that you’d been running on an empty tank for days, slowly coming to an inglorious, gruesome, sputtering stop. 

Things seem a little clearer, like the sunlight is somehow less bleak than it had been the days previous and you feel a little bit like you have a new lease on life. There are no big emotions, no swells of hope or humanity just yet, and you dread the moment you are rested enough to let grief consume you. Right now, you can’t feel it, but there is a fear in you that as you get to know these people who live relatively beautifully in an ugly world, it will weigh you down so much that you’ll never be able to outrun it. 

You wonder if they’ll let you stay. They very well may not, even with the way they were talking last night. Strangers are more dangerous than they’ve ever been and if they ask you whether or not you’ve killed someone, you refuse to lie to them. Sitting up on the bed, you mull over the very real possibility that you could be back out there on your own again in a matter of days and you don’t even have that many good acts under your belt to plead your case. You’re just a person and you’ve done what you needed to in order to survive. Now, you’re not sure if that’s enough. 

You swallow thick, wandering over to the mirror on the dresser. It’s fogged, though less than the bathroom mirror, and you can make out your features a little better than you could last night. You feel a bit more sane, though you still don’t recognize the frightful and distrustful look in your eyes. Like a wounded animal. Inside your head, you acknowledge that you are completely different from the person you were two hundred and seventy seven days ago. 

The voices grow louder as you climb down the stairs, more secure on your feet than you felt last night. You can hear them talking about the generator, as well as a name you don’t recognize. 

“He should be back by now,” a woman says. “Shoto’s never gone longer than a day or two, max.” 

“We shouldn’t jump to conclusions,” another woman says with a worried bite in her voice. Mina, maybe? “We’re only a few hours into the day. He probably got holed up somewhere.” 

“Someone needs to go look for him,” a man says.

“And what? Risk getting yourself killed?” the first woman says. “No, it doesn’t make sense. We need you here.” 

“You’d rather we leave him to die on his own?” 

“No one’s fuckin’ dying.” 

You recognize Katsuki’s voice. 

“He’s perfectly capable of going on a gasoline run,” he continues. “He’s done it before.” 

“I should have gone with him,” says the same woman. 

“On that leg? You wouldn’t have made it halfway to town, let alone there and back,” his voice raises a little. “Don’t be stupid. He’ll be back.” 

You clear your throat and step around the corner. The group turns to face you quickly at the sound, their eyes wide for a moment before relaxing. You can’t sneak up on anyone nowadays. 

“Sorry,” you say, “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Is everything okay?” 

It’s not your business, but you ask anyway, wondering for yourself about the safety of Shoto. 

“Fine,” Izuku says, shaking his head. You recognize him to be the one who'd vouched for going after their friend. Katsuki takes a step away from the broad man as he says this. “Nothing for you to worry about. Did you rest?” 

Izuku smiles gently at you, his chest inflating a little at the question. The movement broadens his shoulders and you realize that he stands almost a head taller than Katsuki. You look briefly between the two of them before nodding. 

“I did,” you say. “Thank you.” 

“Nothing wrong with a little hospitality now and then,” he smiles and you can’t help but furrow your eyebrows at the distinct hesitance in his voice. 

“I don’t think we’ve met,” the woman standing across from Izuku says. “I’m Momo. Sorry I wasn’t there to meet you last night. I’ve been a little under the weather.” 

You introduce yourself to her and glance down at her leg. Her ankle is swollen and wrapped in a bandage. Her sneaker laces are untied at the top to make room for the swelling and you can see that she’s guarding that side of her leg. 

“Is it…?” you grimace, taking an instinctive step away from her. You almost feel bad for it, but sometimes good people make bad decisions when loved ones get bit. 

“No,” she says quickly, “no, it isn’t. Caught an edge in an old chain link fence on the property a couple days back.” 

Momo smiles slightly at you as if to reassure you. She’s really beautiful, with thick dark hair pulled back into a somewhat messy ponytail. Her eyes are bright, like she’s engaged in lively conversation, and you find yourself feeling a little sad for her. She’ll need medicine soon, if they can get it. Infections set in easily these days and you get the sense that even she knows that she may not have long without it. Maybe that’s something else their friend Shoto set out to find. 

“I assume you’ll be wanting to go get your supplies?” Katsuki says, cutting the conversation short. Maybe he could sense the sour turn of thoughts. 

“Ready when you are,” you respond with a nod. 

Katsuki glances at Izuku, who gives him a slightly disapproving look. 

“Someone get them something to eat,” Katsuki says. “...I’ll get my shit ready.” 

“Fig jam…” Mina mumbles as she motions for you to follow her to the kitchen. 

You oblige her, not exactly jumping to turn down a meal. She walks you into the kitchen and opens up a cabinet, where she pulls out a jar filled with a dark and seed filled paste. It’s a jam, sealed in a jar that looks older than what’s inside of it. The seal breaks open with a pleasant pop. 

“This stuff is so good,” she says to you over her shoulder, pulling out a package of crackers that have likely gone stale. “You won’t believe it.” 

She spreads the jam on a few crackers and sets it in front of you on a plate, pushing it across the counter towards you. 

“It’s fig jam,” she says with a smile. “Homemade.” 

You look down at the plate, your mouth watering at the prospect of something sweet like this. It’s been so long since you've had fresh jam. It could be as long as 10 years. You don’t think you’ve had it since you were a kid, when jam came easily and you preferred the processed brands at the supermarket to the ones your mom used to make sometimes. 

You raise the cracker to your mouth and stuff it in with little grace. The sweetness spreads across your tongue as soon as you bite into the stale cracker. It fizzes and pops almost, the sugar melting across your tongue as the seeds crack softly between your teeth. The smile that hits your face is completely involuntary and though you know that nine months ago, this jam wouldn’t have been much, today it is something extraordinary. 

Mina nods a kind of girlish agreement, like the way people used to when they had their friend try something at their favorite restaurant. 

“We got here in the fall. I want to say late October or early November?” she offers. “We were starving and there wasn’t enough food to feed all of us. By that time there were like… nine of us.” 

You listen as you eat your crackers. 

“This place was in such an awful state,” she laughs. “I mean, really terrible. But, it was big and there was a fig tree in the back. A little thing, probably only a few years old and it had fruit on it. We ate so many of them that if the world were normal, we’d have sworn off of them forever. When we realized that the house actually had some old food in it,” she interrupts herself “-nothing good, canned stuff mostly- we decided to jar up the rest of the figs so that they didn’t rot.” 

She smiles at you like it’s a pleasant memory, but you can only think about how hungry they must have been. Your stomach growls as you eat. 

“I know it doesn’t sound like much,” she says, “but for some reason it’s a really nice memory. Honestly, we’re lucky we didn’t die.” 

Mina laughs a little. 

“I mean,” she continues, “we didn’t even clear the area before we started pulling at the figs and throwing them into our mouths.” 

You tilt your head at her and furrow your eyebrows with a small smile. 

“You’re really forthcoming with information.” 

“You just seem a little hesitant, is all,” she answers. 

“Can you blame me?” 

Mina shrugs her shoulders but doesn’t really offer an answer. You assume it’s because she can’t, because Mina has the same doubts everyone carries with them in this world. All of the what ifs people would think about before they slept have become more prevalent than anyone would have ever liked. 

“The jam is good,” you say, trying to be friendly in the same way she is. “Even if it is months old.” 

“Things keep well in jars,” Mina defends softly, smiling a little as she gets another out of you. 

This place feels like a little slice of paradise. A blessing from whoever lived here before and kept a garden stocked with vegetables. From someone who lived in an old house with stables and well-water, who kept canned food past its expiration date. It feels almost too good to be true, like these people live in a bubble bound to pop. 

“You ready?” Katsuki thuds into the kitchen with an empty backpack slung over his shoulder. 

You turn, startled by his sudden appearance and nod as you quickly finish chewing the last cracker. Katsuki furrows his eyebrows as he watches the way you scarf it down. 

When you stand from the table, Katsuki turns on his heel to make for the front door and you follow with a light step. Mina says something about staying safe, but you don’t respond, glancing once over your shoulder at the girl. 

It’s strange, the world has made you wishy-washy and uncommitted. You never used to be like that, never so distrusting as to second guess someone’s kindness the moment your back is turned to them, and you’re certainly not the type to be friendly one moment and closed off the next. Now though, you find that doubt creeps in easily through cracks and any foundation that didn’t exist before, seems to be swallowed before you can finish building it. 

Katsuki leads you back across the small clearing you’d come through the night before. It looks different in the day, almost romantic, and it lacks any of the ominous feeling it had the previous evening. He steps over mounds in the dirt from moles and gophers that have made lawns their new home and you try to mimic his steps, sinking occasionally into a particularly soft patch of dirt. Every now and then, Katsuki glances behind him to check that you’re still there and you offer him a forced smile that he never returns.

You catch up to him when you hit the trees, sticking close at his side like something will come and take you away if you’re not. It’s unintentional, but you don’t have a weapon on you. Your knife is back at your makeshift camp, along with the unloaded pistol and your trusty spatula. 

“How do you know where we’re going?” You ask in a whisper. 

Katsuki tosses a look at you over his shoulder. “I’m good with directions.” 

His tone is clipped, like he’s pissed about something, and your expression sours at it. Sure, you get it but it irritates you to some small degree. You hadn’t asked him to come along. In fact, you’d have been fine getting back here to collect your stuff on your own. You’d have asked for a knife and set out without a second thought, if only because being alone in the woods with some guy was less preferable than doing it by yourself. Of course, some guy also probably saved your life, but you’re not quite ready to relinquish your trust completely. 

“Thanks for coming,” you decide. A peace offering. 

Katsuki doesn’t answer and you furrow your brows a little bit. You wonder if he’s always been like this or if the end of the world brought on the loss of his manners. 

Then, he stops, taking you by the arm and pulling you down beside a bush. You gasp and he puts his hand over your mouth to silence you. There’s the urge to bite him, to catch the fleshy bit connecting his thumb and pointer finger between your teeth and bite down till he bleeds, but you stop when you catch what he’s looking at. 

Two of the living dead crouch by a tree, clicking their tongues as they eat something just out of sight. You furrow your eyebrows, eyes widening at the horror of it. For some reason, seeing them always brings about a round of momentary shock. You’ve yet to let go of the hounding thought that they used to be people and sometimes have to reorient yourself to the world you’re in now. 

You catch Katsuki’s eye behind you, his calloused hand still clasped over your mouth, and nod your head. It’s a silent communication that you’ve seen what he has and he removes his palm from your face to grab a knife tucked into his belt, passing it to you quickly. 

The two infected haven’t noticed the two of you yet, but they will soon, if only by the smell of your flesh which has yet to rot. You hear Katsuki let out a breath, as if to calm his heart, and do the same. There’s time to look at them like this and you’re struck by how human you can pretend they are in your head. Well, you suppose they were human once, now they’re a disease using someone’s skin as a mask. 

Infected people aren’t quick, that’s one thing to be grateful for. Back when the outbreak first started, the CDC had released information on what to look out for in those who might have contracted the virus. The first was obviously a bite wound from another infected person, but you can tell from other symptoms. Early symptoms are average. Body aches, fever, lethargy, and delirium. All things you might see with a nasty flu. Then, infection of the wound site, twitching, foggy eyes—like low-grade cataracts—that develop within a matter of hours or days, severe disorientation, aversion to food, insomnia, with the final symptom being a coma that no one ever wakes up as themselves from. 

These are the symptoms that people are conscious for. The ones they feel. The sickness that people tried to nurse others back from. There is no coming back though, not alive at the very least. The virus attacks the nerves throughout the brain and body, that’s what causes the twitching and convulsions. It’s what ultimately kills us, and it's what they think causes the bodies to come back. 

Most infected will crack when they move. It’s the cartilage breaking down as the bones grind together and crack as they’re weakened from the marrow out. They twitch like rabid animals, unable to keep masterful control of their bodies because they are run like puppets from the brain stem. You don’t know if they think. If somehow the people they used to be are still in there, unable to stop themselves from consuming and spreading the virus to others. All you really know is that they twitch and click, functions of the brain that still remain. Tiny impulses sent through the synapses. You imagine it to be like the way you twitch when you sleep, an arm here or a leg there, the way someone might call out with their voice to a room with no one in it. 

Maybe the infected think they’re dreaming. A nightmare that they never wake up from, like those of us who have to put them down. You could see it as a mercy from that perspective. You have an easier time rationalizing putting a knife in someone’s skull if you convince yourself that they’re silently begging for it. 

Katsuki shifts his weight and looks at you. He mouths the words no guns and you nod, briefly wondering where the fuck he thinks you could have gotten a gun from. 

Then, you kick off and run with Katsuki towards the infected. They don’t really have time to begin moving towards you both. You’re faster than them, but you hear the crack of their legs as they stand from their crouched positions, pulled in at the idea of their next meal.

Katsuki takes the farther one, sinking the knife into the soft spot of its temple with relative ease. You switch yourself off and take the one closest only a few moments later, sending your blade through the top of its skull. That happens to you when you have to do this. You turn yourself off for a bit, just so that you don’t have to remember the way it feels to hit the soft part of someone’s brain. You didn’t used to do that, only starting when you realized that there’s no going through this world anymore without it. 

Katsuki wipes the blood on his pants. It’s brown, no longer oxygenated, and the area around you begins to reek. You notice, but for some reason the smell of decomposition doesn’t register in your brain and you continue on behind him. 

There are a few beats of silence, save for twigs breaking under your feet, before Katsuki speaks up. 

“You okay?” It’s barely above a whisper and you wouldn’t have caught it were you not listening for the distinctive crack of human bones. 

“Yeah,” you say, continuing forward. 

The campsite rounds into view and in this light, with your full night’s sleep under your belt, you can see just how pitiful it looks. A tent that you’d hastily put up before nightfall, the remains of your stamped out fire, the folding chair which has since been knocked over, and your weapons on the floor covered by a few leaves disturbed by the wind. 

You snatch them up and move to grab your backpack out of the tent. The inside is shitty too and your torn sleeping bag hadn’t even been rolled out yet. You pick up the bag, returning to the folding chair as Katsuki begins to take down the tent. The polyester and nylon blend zips together as he makes quick work of folding it. Then, he kicks some dry brush over the remains of the fire, like he’s covering your tracks. 

“The next person that comes through here might not be alone,” he says plainly. “And they may have more bullets than you did.” 

“Right,” you respond. Your voice sounds a little far off and you settle your backpack on your shoulder in one quick motion. 

“Got everything?” 

You nod, following him as he heads out in the direction you both came from. The two of you pass the bodies of the infected you’d killed. The smell has permeated the air, lingering like how it does in cities, only less pungent. Their fogged eyes stare blankly at nothing, expressions plain and unreadable. You pass and try not to think much about it. 

Katsuki is a few feet ahead of you and he doesn’t glance back to make sure you’re following. You could leave now and never get attached to these people. You could head off in another direction and never have to think twice about it. No more worrying about who you could lose, about who’s next to become one of the sick masses. Just you by yourself. Then, when you finally kick the can, someone else can put you down the way you did to those strangers. 

Is there really a point to it anymore? To community or living in general. No one is as they once were. Does that make it fantasy to live in their beautiful bubble? Could you even find it in yourself to pretend again, to make nice and play house in that place? They saved your life, sure. They fed you, clothed you, bathed you, but for what point? Tomorrow, you could end up back in the woods, lighting fires with twigs you found in the brush, paranoid that someone would find you or the fire would spread. 

You watch Katsuki’s back as he moves, shoulders shifting with each step. His shirt is stained, white turned eggshell from the wear and tear of time. It seems so off to you that he looks relatively clean, like he lives well. 

Fear strikes you as you realize that your rambling thoughts have merit. Anything you fear now has become real and loss is so tangible to you that you can squeeze it in your hand. They could turn you out. Tomorrow night you could begin the starve and step all over again, moving from place to place, talking to yourself, filling your hours with paranoid thoughts like these that plague you when you’re alone. Is that worse than loss? If you’re alone long enough, you’d probably forget what you’re missing. Losing anyone else could make the wound fresh. For now, the hunger wins out. 

Katsuki jogs ahead of you to get to the house. Momo is on the porch waving him in and he hurries up the steps and bursts through the front door. As you approach, you can hear voices, some of which are relieved, others hurried. When you enter the room, you find a man standing there whom you’ve never seen before, Shoto maybe. 

“A plus one,” the man looks up, tilting his head at you in an odd way. 

“Katsuki’s,” Kiri says with a low smirk. 

Shoto’s eyes widen as he peers at his friend, clutching what looks like an injured shoulder. Katsuki just huffs his irritation. 

“Well, that’s rare,” Shoto says. 

“What’s rare?” Katsuki spits. “They were in the woods with a fire. What was I supposed to do? Let ‘em die?” 

“Maybe,” Shoto says, a light smile creeping onto his features. Then, he turns to you. “What’s your name?” 

You give it to him and he nods his head, tilting it at you again. 

“How long are you staying?”

You’re not sure how to answer that question. In fact, no one is, and it feels like more of a test than it does a genuine inquiry. Kiri and Mina exchange a glance and Katsuki tosses a somewhat dirty look towards Shoto. Ochako gives Shoto a knowing glance and Sero and Denki shift uncomfortably on their feet. Then, Momo clears her throat, spurring Izuku to say something. 

“Shoto,” he says. “You’re probably hungry, you should eat something and lay down. Ochako? Could you take a look at his shoulder?” 

“Sure,” the girl says softly, giving a closed mouth smile to Shoto as she takes him by the arm. 

She glances at you as she passes, almost like she’s too embarrassed to look at you fully in the face. You suppose this is what happens when people are forced to think about whether or not they will potentially leave someone else to die. It’s like the trolley cart question and though in this case there is always the possibility of a better outcome, it’s not likely in this world. 

“Just until I’m rested,” you add with a small tilt of your head. “A few days.” 

Shoto looks at you over his shoulder and gives you a small smile. It’s funny, you can see kindness there. His actions aren’t kind, but you can feel that he has kindness in him, though his rudeness stems from something different than Katsuki’s, you think. Like he’s strange in some way. 

“I’ll start on dinner,” Sero says. “Kiri, give me a hand.” 

The group disperses and you head upstairs without speaking to anyone else. A few days to rest and then cut the first people you’ve spoken to in weeks loose. What sort of idiot gives up something like this to avoid a little awkwardness? Not that you necessarily had your mind made up. You wonder briefly if you’ve just sealed your own tomb. 

—

After dinner, you go upstairs to sleep after eating as much as they would offer you. Your stomach has ceased its constant growling and the shakiness that comes with hunger has receded almost entirely into the background. The bed is soft, with a slight dent in it from whoever slept in here before. The thought unsettles you that they’re probably dead now, but you try to push it from your mind as you steel yourself for what comes within the next few days. 

You had volunteered yourself to leave. To what? Save yourself the embarrassment of pleading? Did you even want to plead? Why are you regretting not asking to stay? These people don’t know you, what trust can you have built with them in only a few days? Your skin crawls at the expanse of possibilities in front of you after so many weeks without any. 

You think that if you let yourself walk away, you’ll probably die. You’re out of bullets and don’t know where to find any food except by luck. You can try to catch prey, but prey hides whenever infected are around, and they’re everywhere nowadays. It’s spring, water wouldn’t be a problem, but running water has its clear comforts. Then, there’s the possibility of loss. You’d come to care for these people if you stayed, you know it. 

You furrow your eyebrows and look at the ceiling. There’s really no choice to be made. You’ll let them make it for you, even if you don’t know them. It’s their house and you won’t walk in uninvited or try to take it. You’re not about to become a monster just because the world is full of them now.

The darkness grows and your eyes drift to the dim light wandering in under the crack of the door. Hushed voices whisper in the living room, you can hear them. It’s a heated discussion, lively, but deliberately quiet. It’s been hours since everyone went to bed, yet you get the impression that many people are chiming in. You’re too nosey to leave it be. 

You open the bedroom door silently, turning the cool knob with a wince as it clicks out of place. When you peer into the hallway, every upstairs bedroom door is open with the room empty. The light is coming from down stairs and around the corner, and you can see shadows move as you inch closer to the source. 

You pause at the top of the stairs, knowing that they creak, and crouch by the bannister to listen. You’re out of sight. The only way they’d know you’re listening is if you made a sound, but you won’t. You’re good at being quiet. 

“We don’t even know them,” someone says in a rushed whisper. “We don’t know what they’ve done before.” 

“Everyone’s done things they’re not proud of now, Shoto,” a woman adds. It’s Mina. She’s spoken enough to you that you recognize her voice. 

“I agree with Shoto,” says another woman, her voice higher pitched. She sounds guilty and her voice is tight as she speaks “We have no clue who they are. They could be dangerous.” 

“You mean like me, Ochako?” A man adds. “I could have been dangerous.” 

The group grows quiet for a moment. 

“No,” Momo says. You recognize the cadence of her voice. “Shoto might be right, Denki. It’s been nearly six months since you got here and the world has changed a lot. We don’t- we can’t know for sure.”

“Can we really know anything for sure?” Another man adds, Kiri.

“What about you guys?” Shoto says, presumably to the rest of the group. 

“I don’t know.”

“I’m hesitant, but I don’t know either.”  

“Jesus,” another man with a baritone voice, harsher than the rest. That’s Katsuki, the first voice you’d heard of the group. “You guys make me a little sick.” 

“That’s not fair,” Ochako says. 

“No,” he interrupts. “It is fair. You guys want to… what? Send them back out there to die?” 

“It’s not like that,” Shoto says.  

“It is like that,” he says, raising his voice and then lowering it back to a whisper. “You didn’t see them when they got here, Shoto. They- they didn’t look… shit. The rest of you, you saw them. You really want to send them back out there to fuckin’ waste away? I don’t know about you all, but I won’t do that to a person.” 

There’s a pregnant pause.

“Katsuki’s right,” Izuku says with a bit of conviction, like he’s finally made up his mind. “Sending someone out there alone is a death sentence. How does doing that make us any better than the people we’re trying to protect ourselves from?” 

“What if there are more of them?” Ochako says quietly. “What if they’re not alone?” 

“Trust me,” Katsuki says, “They were alone.” 

“But what if they’re not?” She insists at a whisper, a bit of shame creeping into her voice. “What if people come for us?” 

“See?” Shoto says gently. “There are so many what-ifs.” 

“That works the other way too,” Mina adds. 

You don’t listen to hear the rest of their conversation. They’re going to run themselves in circles debating about you. They’ll go around and around and land on whichever argument ends with the most votes. They’ll convince each other of one thing and it will happen totally out of your control. 

The bedroom door shuts with a low click that makes you wince again. You think about the people who went to bat for you and the people who didn’t. You don’t blame those who opposed. You’d have probably reacted similarly if your old group were still alive and you understand very clearly why they do it. One person’s stupid reaction can be catastrophic and they don’t know enough about you to be certain that you’re not one of those stupid people. It’s how the world went to shit in the first place and though nine months ago you’d have surely condemned someone for making the same decision, you know that fear has warped humanity beyond comprehension. You didn’t get it until you lived it. 

Still, Katsuki’s humanity feels intact somehow, more so than yours at least. His response is something you probably never would have said under the same conditions and you can’t help but feel some sort of fondness bloom in you for him. Call it connection, gratefulness for his willingness to stick his neck out for you, a trauma response. You still feel it. Mina and Kiri had said that Katsuki was a good judge of character and that’s why they were willing to back him. You wonder briefly if maybe Katsuki sees something in you that you don’t recognize in yourself anymore, or maybe something you don’t expect other people to recognize. What is it that he wants so badly to protect? 

Someone stomps down the hallway, heavy boots against the old creaky floors. You hear the steps recede down the hallway, maybe a door or two down, before it shuts quickly. The sound makes you wince and you listen as the house grows quiet and then hums quietly with the sound of others coming upstairs a few moments later. Someone pads to the end of the hall, pushing the door open. 

You hear a woman’s voice, so muffled that you can’t make out what she’s saying. Then, you hear the sound of a man’s affirmation before the bedroom door shuts and the visitor moves back down the hall to a separate bedroom. Information passing through the house. 

Someone is moving around in a room below you and you figure that there are probably bedrooms downstairs as well. From the outside, you’d never guess that the place could house ten people. Inside though, the bedrooms are small. That’s probably why so many can fit. You’d guess that the place used to have multiple generations living in it, or maybe even rented out rooms to people for a few months. It sort of has a boarding house feel to it, like many people have come and gone even before people stopped staying in one place. 

That’s a good thing to call it, the boarding house. It certainly has that sort of feel to it, many of its spaces undeniably communal. 

You turn over in the bed, facing the bedroom door. The lights have gone out completely now and the house is quiet save for the occasional creak or thud from someone preparing to sleep. It’s been a long while since the sounds of living have been so prevalent near you. You’re eased by the sounds of the house settling, a familiar reminder of what living used to be. Your group had been on the road long before you lost them and the comforts of an interior are almost overwhelmingly nostalgic. You’re better rested to notice it now and shutting your eyes, you savor the feeling. 

—

“Need some help?” You say. 

Denki turns around, grease smeared across his nose where he likely wiped it with his dirty hands. He’s holding a wrench in a glove so tattered that it hardly counts as a glove anymore. He looks startled, amber eyes widening before he uses his forearm to brush stray hairs out of his face. The rest of it is pulled up into a messy ponytail, revealing the moist back of his neck. 

“Oh, sure,” he says, a bit surprised. “Do you know how generators work?” 

He crouches back over the machine and you step up behind him. 

The machine is rusted near the bottom and between the exposed winding pipes. Its paint has chipped away, leaving the weather-damaged metal open for you to see. On the side, a fan-like piece spins slowly in circles and the machine whirs and sputters softly as it… generates power, probably. 

“Not quite, but an extra pair of hands is always helpful,” you say softly, passing him a tool he’d been reaching for. “Did it break?” 

“No,” Denki says, “but it’s probably on its last legs. The thing’s almost as old as we are, probably older, so it’s good to tune it up a bunch.” 

You hum your agreement, tilting your head as you stand and watch him work. 

You’re not necessarily comfortable with Denki, but he feels like a safe person for some reason. Maybe it’s because he’s got a sort of ditzy, non-threatening vibe to him. You can almost distinctly picture him tripping over his own feet and something about that makes you feel considerably safer than someone who wouldn’t. That and he was the first person you’ve come across this morning who you don’t think distrusts you too badly. 

“Are you dodging something?” Denki smirks up at you from his crouch. 

“Who on earth would I be dodging?” you snort a bit defensively. 

“Shoto,” he says with a light smile. “He put you in a tight spot the other day.” 

“Yeah, well,” you say, glancing over your shoulder. “It wasn’t anything he didn’t have a right to ask.” 

“Right, but it sure was rude, huh?” 

Denki laughs to himself a little and you’re surprised by how easygoing he is. You subconsciously begin to categorize him with Mina and Kiri. The dichotomy of this group baffles you a bit, but you can certainly see all nine of them as a collective. Tightly knit and well acquainted with the habits of others. 

“Oh!” He exclaims, “I have something you can do for me.” 

You tilt your head. 

“There’s a bucket over there,” he says, pointing absentmindedly to a shitty plastic bucket against the side of the house. “We use the water from the creek as coolant. It’s not factory grade, but it does the trick. You wanna go fill it up and bring it back for when I’m done tuning this thing up?” 

You furrow your eyebrows, not sure where the creek he’s talking about is. 

“The creek is just over there,” he points behind the house to the edge of the treeline. “I know you can’t see it from here, but if you walk in a straight line, you’ll hit it. Katsuki should be down there too, so you can use him as a landmark.” 

When you don’t immediately answer, Denki whines a little. 

“I mean,” he says, “I’d go myself, but-” 

“I’ll do it,” you laugh a little and Denki seems surprised that you do. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” you shrug. “I’d like to pull some weight at least while I’m here. Plus, I offered.” 

Denki mumbles his pleasure and you walk to the bucket without another word and set off in the direction Denki pointed. You’re much more willing to go out to the treeline now that you have a knife back at your side. 

The walk to the trees is longer than it looks, like how sometimes the horizon looks like something you could reach out and climb up onto. The walk stretches with each step you take and you become a little more understanding of why Denki didn’t want to do it himself. But the walk is actually pleasant, the warmth of mid May collecting evenly on your skin as the humidity grows more intense with the sun. 

You wonder what Katsuki would be doing by the creek. Maybe he’s fishing, or crouched over himself sharpening an arsenal of knives that you think he might keep in a roll attached to his belt sometimes. You’re not sure why, but Katsuki sort of has that expression to him. He’s handsome, but the scowl projects something hostile that makes him seem unapproachable. 

As you cross through the middle of the clearing, you could almost imagine that this is a normal day. Humidity collects on your skin, making you sweat a little as you dodge gopher holes and soft spots of dirt. It almost feels like summer camp, if it weren’t for the looming idea that you’re contributing to something you may not be a part of. Denki’s attitude though, has you hoping for a more favorable outcome, if you want to call it that. 

You’re only a few steps into the line of trees when the earth dips into a sand-lined ravine. The trees leave room for the sun to beat down on warmed rocks, making the area seem brighter with their subtle reflection of the light. The noise of the creek drowns out the sound of your footsteps and you shuffle toward where the earth flattens just before the water starts. A little ways to your right, you can see Katsuki sitting on a rock in the sun, his hands dipped into a large bucket. You narrow your eyes as he pulls what looks like a cloth out of the water, rubbing the fabric together before dipping it in the cool water of the creek.

As you approach, you realize what it is that he’s doing. It’s laundry. On the other side of him, you can see a bin of what look like dirty clothes and water-soaked clean ones. Talk about misjudged character. 

“Katsuki,” you say as you approach him, the bucket still empty in your hand.

He squints up at you, shifting his face so that it's in your shadow. 

“You’re still here,” he says plainly, returning to his task. 

“Clearly,” you respond, watching as he runs his fingers over the next piece of clothing in the bucket. 

“Why are you down here? Did Denki pawn the generator water onto you?” He says, like he’s somewhat frustrated. “He does that shit to anyone he can.” 

You shrug your shoulders and continue to stare at him. 

“Are you just gonna stand there?” He huffs out. 

“You’re doing laundry.” 

“Yeah?” he furrows his eyebrows and looks at you. “So?” 

“Nothing,” you say. “I just didn’t expect that.” 

“Yeah well,” he stops for a moment like he’s struggling to find the words. “It needed to be done. Figured I might as well.” 

“How progressive of you,” you joke with a straight face. 

He looks at you out of the corner of his eyes and sighs, not justifying your comment with a response. You find yourself smiling a little bit. 

“If you’re going to linger, sit down and do it,” he says. “You’re creeping me out.” 

You oblige him and sit down on a rock next to him, far enough that you’re not touching, but near enough to hear him if you speak in a low voice. For some reason, you feel a sort of kinship with Katsuki. You’d thought longer than you’d like to admit about his willingness to vouch for you and find that you want to live up to his expectation of your goodness, even if it’s not what you believe yourself to be anymore. Maybe it’s because you’ve slept well the past few nights and feel more like yourself, but there’s a certain casualness to conversing with him that you enjoy. He’s not looking at what you could be, but rather what you’re showing him that you are. His lack of doubt in that is something you find relatively attractive. 

You watch his arms out of the corner of your eye in between gazing at the treeline and the sky. Your field of vision catches on them, his sleeves cut short to expose his biceps, a bit muddied near the elbows where the mud has begun to stick. 

Katsuki doesn’t seem all that bothered by your presence, but now and then you’ll catch the sideways glance he gives you, almost like he’s trying to figure out exactly why you’re lingering. 

“How long have you been with them?” You ask, more as a way to fill the silence. 

Katsuki’s hands pause as he thinks about answering, then, they continue their steady pace. 

“A decent amount of time,” he says. “I met Izuku first, probably in November just before Mina and Kiri. The rest came later.” 

You furrow your eyebrows. 

“No offense,” you start, “but you don’t really seem like the group type.” 

“And you don’t seem like the type who’d be alone,” he retorts, like your statement was stupid. 

You press your lips into a tight line, not really knowing how to respond. 

“Sorry,” he says, shaking his head a little. 

“Were you?” 

“What? Was I sorry?” He furrows his eyebrows at you. 

“No,” you shake your head. “Were you alone? Before Izuku.”��

He goes silent. You’ll take that as a yes, but you regret asking a little. It had just slipped out. If someone were to ask you something like that, you’d probably react the same way. That’s just as well, you don’t really need to know him like that anyway. 

You wonder briefly if anyone does. He seems closed off, but Mina and Kiri spoke about him a few days prior like they knew him well. Well enough at least to allude to a history you’ll likely never be privy to. Then there’s Momo, who whispers little things to him that he answers in kind. Curiosity gets the better of you, if only to tease. 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” you ask and Katsuki’s response is to rest his elbows on his knees and let out a dry laugh. 

He turns his head and looks at you from the side. “And what the fuck are you asking me that for?” 

“Just curious,” you say. “Is it Momo?” 

“Momo?” He makes a sour face at you. “Yeah, right.” 

“She’s pretty,” you say. 

“Sure is,” he responds dryly. “If you’re into the mom type.” 

“What? You’re not into moms?” You grin a little and Katsuki furrows his eyebrows at you. 

“So you do have a personality,” he scoffs a little. 

There’s a pause. You haven’t felt this in a while. The feeling of bonding with someone new, compatibility on the human level that feels nearly instant. 

“I’m kinda serious though,” you say, tilting your head down to catch his eye. “Do you?” 

You’re leaning a little closer to him now.

“You seen any nice restaurants to take a person out to these days?” he questions, clearly a little frustrated with you in the way someone gets when they’re a bit amused. 

“You don’t have to take someone out to a restaurant to fuck them, you know?” You laugh a little. 

Katsuki’s lips part and he swallows like his mouth has gone dry. 

“Yeah, well,” he starts, looking away from you. “I’m a romantic. Sue me.” 

He’s just full of surprises, isn’t he? You find that you’re captivated by this feeling, this humanity, that exists in him. It’s something alive between you both, something left behind from the old world, and you crave it the same way you crave food. 

Katsuki continues scrubbing the clothes, rubbing the fabric together and then dunking it in the bucket before plunging it into the freshwater creek. You’re not sure why you do it, but the next time he looks at you, you kiss him. 

It’s not as if you like him, but it’s something to feel. Some remnant of the butterflies you used to feel on dates and the kiss makes you feel like you could be close to human again. You pull away almost as soon as you put his lips to yours and you can tell that the expression on your face is one of surprise.

Katsuki blinks for a second, looking at you with his brows knitted together. The expression doesn’t leave him as he places a wet hand on the side of your face to kiss you again. It’s an anxious kiss, confused and slow but—like someone riding a bike for the first time in years—it quickly becomes something familiar. Muscle memory that you both let yourselves sink into. 

You can feel his expression as he kisses you, something between confusion and desire, like his own actions are perplexing. You feel the same way, hesitant, but reaching in the dark for the promise of some sort of normalcy. You want to feel like a person again. You haven’t felt it in so long and you push yourself against him as the ache swells in you. 

The two of you continue like this for a moment, Katsuki’s fingers pressing lightly into the skin of your neck. You moan softly as his tongue slips into your mouth, taking a sharp inhale at the sensation of skin on skin. The sound of the creek drowns out the clicking of your mouths, but you can feel the way he hums into your mouth. They’re little sounds, involuntary ones driven by the nervous, desirous feelings inside of you both. 

Then, Katsuki pulls away, swallowing thick as he takes his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. You appreciate the way they look. They’re swollen, anxious to continue and keep forgetting where you really are. He drops his hand from your face with a sigh and almost seems like he comes back to himself. You do the same, moving back into an upright position. 

“Denki will want that water soon,” he clears his throat and motions to the empty bucket by your feet. 

“Oh,” you say, laughing a little. “Right.” 

You stand, dusting off the back of your pants and dunking the bucket into the water. It sloshes, the liquid hitting the back of the plastic with a satisfying elastic sound. You begin to walk away without another word, heading down the way you came to climb up the gentler part of the slope. 

“Hey,” Katsuki calls softly. “You should stay. We talked it over last night. You can if you want to.” 

The last part, he says facing the wash, his hands moving as if he hadn’t said anything at all. You don’t respond, knowing that the obvious answer is already yes. 

Dread settles in your stomach. It’s an icky, swirling feeling that threatens to make you double over. You climb up the bank, the water in the bucket sloshing as you move through the trees and enter the clearing. The feeling doesn’t dissipate, growing as you leave the cover of the trees. You probably wouldn’t have kissed him if he’d asked you that earlier. 

The boarding house comes into view and you can see Denki sitting beside the generator, conversing with who appears to be Shoto. They turn and Denki waves you down, Shoto turning away and starting around for the front of the house. 

Denki jogs to meet you, taking the bucket from your hand. You flex your fingers as the weight is removed, wincing a little at how stiff they feel. 

“Jeez, what took you so long?” Denki laughs and with your new information, you understand his willingness to be friendly with you a little better. 

“I asked Katsuki for his life story,” you respond dryly, following him back to the generator. 

Denki looks over his shoulder and laughs at you. “Did he tell you?” 

You pause for a moment, watching as Denki unscrews something and pours the water in. 

“Nope,” you say. “Not a thing.”

Click Here to go to the second chapter and find the rest of the series on ao3. The remainder will not be posted on tumlbr, but please feel free to reblog!

[midnightbears]

Arranged marriage with Gyomei pls. Kagaya matched Gyomei with Y/N ​​for some reason and Gyomei slowly falling in love with y/n 🥲🥲❤

✿ i love you, and i want to find out what that means together.

#STARRING: himejima gyomei ft. fem!reader

#TAGS: arranged marriage. gyomei is in his early twenties in this one! set before the main events of kny. some invented lore for the sake of the story please just bear it thanks

#NOTES: hello there! thank you for your request <3 tbh I've always had this specific idea stuck in my head and you just gave me a reason to write for it LMAO i actually went kind of crazy with this fic omg i loved to write it let me know if u would like a part two! hope you like it and hope it wasn't too much LMAOOo

your existence could be hashed over with one word.

purpose.

ever since you could remember, your entire life had been mapped out for you: what to eat, what to not eat, what to like, what to dislike, what to wear, your hobbies, your pastimes, your vocabulary—everything. apparently, every inane thing that had been shoved down your throat was only done to make you a dignified woman worthy of whichever lord they married you off to.

you and your family hailed from a long line of priests and priestesses, where the girls were raised to be proper wives and shrine maidens and the boys were carefully taught the profession in hopes of serving important figures throughout japan.

you were helping your mother tend to the flowers one day when a messenger from the ubuyashiki clan—a kakushi, as you heard they were called—appeared before your temple's door, asking your father to choose and provide the clan with one of his daughters.

you were picked immediately, and you had no choice but to stand before your father, trembling, and pretend that you agreed with his decision with a serene expression on your face. you could tell this was just his way of finally getting rid of you.

in the words of your father behind closed doors, if someone couldn't be bothered to have the decency to visit the temple in person and instead sent a mere messenger to request a carefully trained shrine maiden, it was clear they didn't deserve the best of what he could offer.

you smiled, agreeing with him.

when you went to pack what little things you had, nobody was in the shared quarters; at least you would spare yourself of your sisters' cruel remarks over your father's decision. you did not have many things of your own; you packed your hairbrush, a book, and what few things you held dear.

the kakushi was waiting outside when you emerged. trying to maintain a semblance of calm, you offered him a small smile. he looked at you with curiosity but did not say anything. kindly, he allowed you a moment for a brief prayer before the buddha statue at the front of the temple. then, you were off.

no one came to say goodbye to you.

it was alright, you supposed. the only person you could think fondly of was your mother, and a barbed wire of melancholy slowly wound around your heart at the thought of not being able to part ways properly. you knew that she preferred you over her other daughters, but even so, you were aware that she would never hear the end of it from your father if she came to say her farewells. you would write to her.

you were the third of six sisters, and always, one of them was more talented than you were, just a tad bit more attractive, just a tad bit more creative, just a tad bit more charming. sure, you were well-versed in the duties of a useful spouse—okay, all your sisters were as well. what good was that when you had nothing special about you? what was it your father called you? ah, yes, mediocre.

the kakushi did not speak to you for the entire trip, for which reason you did not know. a question hung on the tip of your tongue, although you dared not ask it. at some point, he urged you to wear a blindfold and climb on his back, which you simply accepted, knowing better than to ask.

you didn't make anything out during the journey, only listening to the sound of small pebbles vibrating against the ground as he made his way up a mountain. after what felt like hours, he finally put you down, gently tugging the blindfold off you and allowing your eyes to adjust to the bright light of morning.

once you were presentable, he escorted you toward the estate entrance. you could tell he was a bit off put by the way you were just accepting things, but he didn't say anything about it.

the kakushi stopped before the towering gate of the ubuyashiki mansion and offered you a deep bow. you thanked him, and you could see him smile with his eyes before he left. another kakushi, a woman this time, escorted you toward a graveled garden, a small figure sitting by the engawa.

she knelt on the ground and bowed her head, and you did the same until she picked herself from the ground.

looking forward, you met the gaze of a boy who looked to be around the age of fifteen, with kohl black hair that sat just above his shoulders. he had the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen, so easy to look at, lavender tainting the irises. he had the calming smile of a buddha, and although knowing nothing about him beyond reputation, you felt at ease with him.

"i am kagaya. i trust your journey went smoothly? thank you for your patience, maiden. i apologize for not going to your temple in person, i hope your priest will forgive me. believe me, i wanted to, but i'm afraid my illness would not have allowed me to make the trip."

the boy's voice was unlike any other you had ever heard, fluid and gentle, causing a wave of reassurance to wash over you. you felt at ease immediately, as though something had just taken every burden off your shoulders and instead shrouded you in a cloud of repose.

"it was no trouble, oyakata-sama, truly." you followed this with a deep incline of your head, your own voice remaining serene and mellow, "it is an honor to be in your presence."

kagaya smiled. "your temple is of great renown. my clan has had the pleasure of counting with your priests and maidens across the centuries. there is no need for such formalities, child."

granted, you were sure you were older than him by a few years, but the way he called you 'child' was comforting, and you were not about to question him, simply keeping quiet.

"you are to marry one of my pillars, maiden. he is an honorable man, the lord of stone, i am sure the two of you will get along. he should arrive any moment now."

you willed yourself to say something, yet you simply could not. you were not the first maiden who was given to a lord for marriage, and you certainly wouldn't be the last. still, your heart did a flip at the simple notion of ending up in a similar situation as your mother, forced to produce offspring until your husband found you undesirable.

for a moment, a cold hand wrapped around your heart in fear of what that man would do with you. however, the single thought of the young boy before you lying about the pillar's honor revolted you. he was telling the truth, and if he said the stone pillar was a good man, then you had nothing to fear.

softly, the sound of footsteps reached your ears, and you turned slightly to see a towering figure approaching, his presence both imposing and serene all at once.

the man who stood before you was unlike any you had ever seen. large beyond comparison, clad in the dark robes of a uniform and a green haori. his stature was immense, with muscles that seemed chiseled from stone. he was young, with an impassive face, yet undeniably handsome. his eyes, clouded with a milky whiteness, told you that he could not see, yet he moved with a grace that belied his blindness.

"this is himejima gyomei, the stone pillar," kagaya introduced, "he has been chosen as your betrothed, and i trust that you will find solace and strength in his presence."

gyomei walked toward you, his movements slow and deliberate, his footsteps echoing throughout the garden—

your breath hitched as he knelt before you, reaching his hand out. but instead of what you expected, he pressed his palm against your cheek, his voice reverberating like a chiming bell inside a cathedral. he caressed your cheek as one would treat an injured butterfly.

"maiden beloved," he murmured, tears spilling from his eyes, "i apologize for making you wait."

the ceremony was that same day, quick and endearing.

you were married in front of oyakata-sama, his wife, and other members of the corps as witnesses. before you knew it, the wedding concluded, and your husband guided you to your new home with you by his side.

gyomei was not acting like he had been given you as some justly won right to do with as he pleased. that set your heart at ease, greatly so, and in some way, it was like he could tell, too. he was walking slowly, allowing you to keep up with his large strides. small talk filled the empty silence of the way home as he listed all the things you would assist him with.

you were to cook for him, clean the estate daily and take care of it when he was away, write letters for him and read them when he received any, and...

huh. that was it.

getting used to your routine was easier than anticipated as weeks passed, although you would be lying to yourself if you said that gyomei's patience and demeanor weren't helping you in the slightest.

he had insisted that you sleep in a separate bedroom within the estate, taking into account that despite being your husband, he was still a complete stranger to you. the very moment you reached your new home, he made sure to explicitly tell you that he did not wish to embarrass you or cause you discomfort in any way, shape, or form.

during mornings, you would naturally wake up at the crack of dawn, your training making things much easier. you would dress yourself in the robes gyomei had gifted you for your wedding and make your way to the kitchen to start a big meal for the day. you'd wake him up then, guiding him to the kitchen to share breakfast together.

most of the time, you ate in silence, although you did not mind at all. after that, you would wash dishes, and he trained. the estate was not that big, so having to sweep the floor or dust the shelves daily did not bother you, and you instead found comfort in the repetitive routine. you would finish quite swiftly and urge gyomei inside again for tea time during noon.

you tried to entertain yourself as best as possible during the afternoons and evenings. usually, you would find yourself tending to a small garden you'd created when you arrived. your husband would sometimes join you, captivated by the sweet smell of the flowers and the sensation of the earth beneath his fingertips. you would explain what the flowers looked like and how they were meant to be taken care of, and he, in turn, basked in your every word.

gardening duty was one of the things you enjoyed most back at the temple, and since no one else was willing to get their hands dirty, you were the maiden who would regularly take care of the flowers.

you bought flower seeds during your first trip to the market in the nearby town and took the time to introduce yourself to as many people as possible. the locals were very kind to you, and as you started frequenting the shops more and more, you were always being greeted by folks who wished you and your husband the best.

as months passed, your relationship with gyomei deepened in ways you had never expected. the initial tension and clumsiness of living with a stranger began to fade, replaced by a growing sense of familiarity and comfort.

gyomei, true to his word, respected your boundaries and gave you space to adjust at your own pace. however, small gestures of care and affection started to seep into your daily life. he would often leave freshly picked flowers from your garden by your bedroom door, their vibrant colors and sweet fragrance greeting you first thing in the morning. sometimes, he would assist you with household chores, his presence making the mundane tasks feel lighter and more enjoyable.

he began to pay attention to the little things, like how you offered wounded slayers who stumbled upon the estate a fresh meal and a place to redress their wounds, or how you fed the cats mingling around your shared home every single night, even noticing that you had taken the time to name them and remember everyone.

the town's people, too, played a part in your growing closeness. they would often remark on how harmonious you and gyomei seemed together, their kind words fortifying the bind that tied you together. you started to see the way gyomei interacted with them and how much respect the people had for him—and you couldn't help but admire him more each day.

your conversations, though initially skimpy and shallow, began to flow more naturally. gyomei's deep voice would rumble through stories of his past with the children of the orphanage, his experiences as a hashira, and the lessons he had learned along the way. you, in turn, shared snippets of your life at the temple, your family, your dreams, and your fears. it was through these conversations that you realized how much you had in common despite your different backgrounds.

anyone with a pair of working eyes would see it, or, at least, anyone who had known for at least once in their lifetime what a soul-stirring connection with another human felt like. you found comfort in his presence, seeking him out like a moth to a flame, and he, in yours, only wanted you to tend to his wounds after missions, fix his haori, or wait by himself outside just so he could pray by your side.

eventually, it got to a point where the separate bedrooms became less of a necessity and more of a formality. you often found yourself falling asleep together in the living room after long conversations or shared moments of silence. whenever you did manage to part ways, you always lingered by your door, a dreamy smile encasing your lips.

you could not deny yourself anymore. you were the happiest you had been in years.

one evening, as you both sat for dinner, the familiar quiet enveloping you like a warm blanket, gyomei's voice broke through the tranquility.

"i love you."

the bunch of food you were going to bring into your mouth splattered into the bowl again with a messy splash. oh. oh my god. you whipped your head toward your husband, who stared at you with a soft expression on his face.

"you do not have to say it back if you do not feel the same, but i wanted you to know." then, gyomei went back to chewing his food as if he had not said what he had just said.

"why?"

gyomei shifted his head in your direction with a worried expression, your teary tone and doddering heartbeat doing nothing to mitigate his apprehension. he tried to reach for you, but you jerked away from him. he could tell that whatever you were feeling was not directed toward him, but still, it pained him greatly to know you were suffering.

"g-gyomei, i—"

your hands were shaking, and he reached for them to trace your skin with the pads of his thumbs. he opened his mouth, but you beat him to it as you keeled over, shoulders trembling as sobs left your mouth, your usual calmness thrown out the window.

"y-you said that you wouldn't embarrass me! there is nothing special about me. what is it about me that you could possibly love? you're always so good to me," you were throwing word vomit at this point, and the worst part was you did not even know where it was coming from, "i haven't done anything to receive your affection! i'm just doing the things i'm supposed to do..."

tears slid down his cheeks before he could stop them, and he leaned forward to pull you into his embrace. your body completely froze, an unknown emotion taking over. gyomei had never initiated contact before. most of the time, you had to be the one to grab his hand or tug his collar.

"my little maiden... you have no idea how precious you are to me," gyomei murmured, his voice impossibly gentle and firm. he held you close, his large, comforting presence grounding you as your sobs began to subside. "you see yourself through the harsh lens of your own eyes, but i see the truth of your heart with my own. your unconditional kindness, your strength, your sincerity—these are just some of the reasons i love you."

his words seeped into your cold heart, slowly quieting the tempest inside. you couldn't understand how someone as incredible, kind, and powerful as gyomei could see such worth in you, but the sincerity in his voice and the warmth of his embrace made you want to believe him.

"you don't have to prove your worth to me or anyone," he continued, his voice alleviating your wounded spirit. "you are enough, just as you are. your presence in my life is a blessing, and i am grateful for you every single day."

"gyomei," you whispered, your voice trembling but no longer with fear. "i… i love you too. i was just scared. scared that i wasn't enough for you."

he smiled softly, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. "you are more than enough, my love. and i will spend the rest of all my lifetimes showing you just how much you mean to me."

© midnightbears on tumblr, july 2024. please do not repost to another platform, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.

[g1rld1ary]

omg hiiiiii! just saw your requests opened, so excited! i was hoping you could write something for lockwood with the enemies to lovers trope. anything you feel like with that is awesome! and ofc if you don’t want to feel free to not write it 🩷🩷

-mel

what once was ; anthony lockwood x reader

➻ synopsis: you and lockwood hated each other, you had since you were just starting out as agents. when your team is made to work with his on a big case, deeper feelings might just get revealed

➻ word count: 10K (exactly, what are the chances?)

➻ warnings: swearing, mentions of kissing, angst maybe?, injuries

➻ thank u so much for this request lovely!!!! i am SO sorry this took almost a month, but it's the longest fic I've ever posted here so hopefully that makes up for it a little?? if this isn't what u had in mind pls let me know and I'd be happy to write something different! ik it might not be exactly enemies to lovers but I hateee when the dynamic has no respect or reason to be lovers. anyway thank u for the request lolol!!!! xxxxx

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You thought you were a good person. You dedicated your life to fighting ghosts, you helped old ladies cross the street, you recycled when you could. That was enough to be considered a good person, right? You were almost totally convinced, except for the all the vile things you had to say about Anthony Lockwood.

He was, with no exaggeration, the bane of your existence. You had known him all your life, but hadn’t been friends with him since you were both twelve, just beginner agents. And yet, despite all of this hatred burning up within you, it seemed like the universe wouldn’t give you a moment of peace.

You understood running into his company every once in a while — agency events, maybe the occasional case, but lately it seemed like it was every week you had to face Lockwood’s nauseating grin and infuriating attempts at being charming. Whether it was your respective teams being sent on overlapping missions, picking up more supplies or just trying to pick up a coffee after a draining night, you had started to see Lockwood everywhere.

When you saw him again whilst you were picking up some doughnuts for your team you couldn’t help yourself snapping at him.

“God, are you obsessed with me or something, Anthony?” You barely spared him a glance as you finished the transaction with the cashier, quietly thanking him as you left. Lockwood did the same, practically throwing down his cash to catch up to you.

“You wish I was obsessed with you! I am just as unhappy as you are, trust me.”

“So what, you chased after me just say something we both already knew? Or do you have something you’d like to say, an apology perhaps?” You chanced a look in his eyes. Hurt flashed through them, and you felt a sick sense of satisfaction.

“I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He cried, almost dropping his own box of pastries when he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. You didn’t try to hide the rolling of your eyes.

“Whatever,” You huffed, before being struck with an idea. “By the way, did you hear that I’m now a team leader? That makes me the youngest in at least ten years — maybe ever. Pretty good for someone not fit to be an agent, don’t you think?” You feigned an interest in his opinion. His face dropped for a moment, then contorted to become almost polite.

“That was never—” You interrupted him with another sigh.

“Anthony, I really don’t care to listen to you discredit my achievements anymore.” You left him on the side of the street, marching back to your dorm at Fittes. You didn’t need to hear him tear you down and ruin your self-confidence more than he already had — not that you would ever tell him that. Lockwood was similarly disgruntled. Every interaction between you two turned into a fight regardless of what he said; he just couldn’t win.

You had a week of blissful distance from Lockwood and Co before you ran into them, quite unfortunately. You and your team had been assigned to an apartment that allegedly housed a few Type Ones, nothing serious but the residents had complained of hearing noises at odd hours. You held a bit of doubt — living in the dorms had forced you to become accustomed to the most bizarre noises at night, and those were most definitely not ghosts. Plus, adults tended to be paranoid; the noise could be anything from rodents to their little children being awake in the early hours of the morning.

Still, you had a job to complete, so you trudged your small team up to the apartment in question, ready for a quick job and to be cozy in bed before midnight. When Lockwood and Co were standing outside the apartment next to your appointed one, your face dropped into a scowl.

“What are you doing here?” You snapped, talking directly to Lockwood. He hesitated for a moment before turning to face you, brilliant smile shining.

“Lovely to see you again too, sweetheart, we’re actually here on a job? Nice of you to come as our clean-up crew, but that really won’t be necessary. Run along now.” You had to hand it to him, Lockwood had perfected his condescending tone. You were going to respond when the girl behind him began to talk.

“Hey, I recognise you! You’re—” Lockwood cut her off quickly.

“Alright, Luce, I think it’s time we go inside, don’t you?” He was shepherding the girl through the apartment door before you could process what was happening. George, to his credit, looked highly amused at the whole thing. You always liked George, even when he was at Fittes, and seeing him was usually the only upside to your interactions with Lockwood and Co.

“Who’s the girl?” You asked, nodding your head to where she and Lockwood had disappeared to.

“Lucy Carlyle,” He answered, “She’s a Listener — still learning the ropes.”

“And she knows me how?” George just smiled, and you could tell he was keeping secrets.

“I’m sure you’ll find out one day.” He began to follow the rest of his coworkers and you pouted.

“I hate when you side with him!” You called after him, before composing yourself and directing your own team to start the night. They just went along with it, used to your behaviour, and set up your equipment for the mission.

It was not going well. You could all feel a supernatural presence, but no ghosts and no signs of what you’d thought might’ve been the source. Plus, all you could hear was the apartment next door — their stompy footsteps, their laughter over the tea you knew they always had, and one of them wouldn’t stop knocking on the fucking wall.

It was supremely childish, and you would put all of your bets on it being Lockwood trying to throw you off your game. Unfortunately, it was working. And your bad mood was spreading to your teammates. The mission was certainly not going well, all four of you picking fights and throwing digs at each other as you searched uselessly for what could possible be the source, all with no confirmed supernatural presence.

Just as you were about to say something really cruel to your favourite member of your team, the words died in your throat. The temperature rose a few degrees, and you could practically see all your negative thoughts floating away. By the looks of it, your teammates all felt it too. When the freezing shock of the change wore off, you all resigned to embarrassment, realising exactly what had just happened.

This was only furthered when Lockwood waltzed into the apartment, cocky grin practically blinding you.

“Guess that another successful mission for Lockwood and Co now includes saving the careers of egotistical Fittes agents too now,” He crowed, and you rolled your eyes so hard you thought they might disconnect from your face.

“Clearly,” You tried to keep your tone level, “The source wasn’t in this apartment, so we couldn’t have found it regardless of if you were here.”

“Plus they were just Type Ones. You didn’t save any lives, Lockwood,” Your best friend, Sarah, piped up and you smirked.

“Maybe not in the physical sense,” He conceded, “But I definitely saved the career of the ‘youngest ever team leader’ — don’t think you would’ve kept the position for very long if you couldn’t fight a simple Type One.” You turned red in humiliation. How dare Lockwood act so high and mighty, like you owed him the career you fought so hard for? You wanted to express all the seething fury that burned your tongue, but the only thing that came out was a vicious declaration.

“I hate you, Anthony Lockwood.” Lockwood at least had the decency to look somewhat hurt. Although you’d been arguing for years with the insults only getting meaner as you both grew up and developed more precise vocabularies, neither of you had ever vocalised any hatred before. It cut deeper than Lockwood thought it would. You didn’t wait to observe the intricacies of his reaction, storming out of the apartment, making sure your kit bag hit him heavily as you passed.

“Well,” Lockwood broke the awkward silence that fell over the apartment, “I think we’re all done for the night. Let’s go.” Lockwood and Co began packing up their kit bags and gear, Lucy sweeping some leftover magnesium dust under an armchair. Lockwood paused in the doorway, looking back to Sarah with a curious softness.

“Make sure she’s alright, yeah?” Sarah nodded, swallowing a curious look. With a final nod he was gone, leaving the rest of your team to wonder what had just happened to shift the dynamic.

Back in your dorm at Fittes, you were still fired up. Pissed off by Lockwood’s ego, his audacity, you had practically already paced a hole in the floor upon your short return from dinner. All of these years and he still didn’t believe you were a capable agent, let alone team leader! You may not have really hated him; it was hard to truly hate someone who you shared so much history with, but you were glad you said it. Glad you hurt him, even a little. Maybe then he’d know how you felt.

He had — probably unwittingly — saved you arse though. It was one of your very first missions and unfortunately Lockwood was right; a team leader who couldn’t defeat a simple Type One, or realise that their case was a goose chase in the wrong apartment, wouldn’t last. So although he was the one who had told you you couldn’t be an agent in the first place, you probably owed your current position to him, which only mad you more mad. It was an endless cycle of being angry at Anthony Lockwood.

When Sarah came in to sit on your bed, you still weren’t done, taking the opportunity to verbalise your stream of thought.

“He is simply the worst person in the whole world and has no respect for me! I mean, he wouldn’t have helped at all if it didn’t serve his own inflated ego ,” You said, throwing your hands in the air in anguish. Sarah simply watched, barely concealing her amusement.

“Ok, but have you considered maybe he just argues back because you hate him? I mean, where did it start?” You huffed, vaulting yourself back onto your mattress.

“When we were twelve years old, he told me I couldn’t be an agent. I said ‘fuck you’ and have worked my bloody arse off to be one despite it, and to become the youngest team leader at Fittes, and yet every time I see him he still tries to sabotage my career or make me look stupid! God, he drives me up the wall!”

“So you’ve said all these horrid things because he didn’t believe in you?” She laughed a little, eliciting a deep frown from you.

“You don’t get it,” You said, tone solemn, “He was my best friend. He was supposed to believe in me even when everyone else said it was dumb.” The dampened mood brought a premature end to your conversation, Sarah leaving you to your thoughts and feelings as you dwelled on the past in a way you would usually forbid yourself from.

You pulled a framed photo out from behind your stack of books on the shelf. You and Lockwood as children, smiling brightly on a day at the beach, a spade in your hand and a bucket in his, your free ones intertwined as kids often do. You didn’t know why you’d kept it after all these years, looking at any photo of Lockwood typically made you mad, but you felt a bit guilty discarding the keepsake, especially the handmade frame his parents had given you one birthday before they passed. Plus, the memory untouched was one of your favourites — one of the last of your carefree days in childhood when you and Lockwood were best friends and both your families were whole. You held it softly for a moment, indulging yourself in being swept away by memories before deciding enough was enough and returning to the present, distracting yourself with a novel you’d picked up.

You were given a few weeks to cool down, blissfully free from any trace of Lockwood. You thought he must’ve been aware of the heightened tension between you recently, since you’d seen Lucy shopping around Arif’s and ran into George whilst getting your usual Friday night takeaway.

Hearing your name being called from around the corner of an aisle you turned quickly, reflexes on edge. Seeing it was just the redhead you relaxed, making yourself smile.

“Oh, hi, Lucy. How are you?” You made polite conversation, continuing on with your shopping. She replied cordially, a vague awkward air between you that you were both trying your best to overcome.

“We’re all really sorry about the case the other day, by the way. We didn’t mean to take it over or jeopardise your job or anything.”

“It’s nothing,” You assured, “I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the best of me, every agent knows that.”

“Yeah, but if Lockwood hadn’t—”

“Lucy,” You interrupted, “You don’t need to condemn Lockwood, or defend him. We both know where we stand with each other and that’s ok. I hope that doesn’t stop us from being friends either; you’re sweet.” Lucy managed a smile, revealing a pretty sparkle in her eye.

“I’d like to be friends too. Maybe we just won’t tell him,” She giggled, and you nodded gravely.

“Sounds like a plan.” You left Arif’s with a bag full of groceries and plan for coffee sometime.

George was less forgiving than Lucy. As you bickered over who got the last can of Coke in the restaurant’s little fridge, he imparted some of his very much unwanted advice.

“You should apologise. I think you crossed a line,” He said and you rolled your eyes.

“He questioned my right to even be where I am — I think I have the right to be pissed at him.”

“He didn’t mean it,” George said quickly. Almost too quickly.

“How would you know?” You narrowed your eyes. George recoiled — he’d been caught.

“You know,” He trailed off, “Lockwood’s not like that. You should know that better than anyone.” You huffed again, fed up.

“I knew,” You corrected, “He’s shown me exactly how he feels about me now. And I am absolutely fine with that. I’m taking the Coke.” You ended the conversation abruptly, snatching the can out of George’s grip.

“But Lockwood doesn’t like any of the other flavours!” He called after you. You exaggerated a laugh, not looking back as you opened the restaurant door quickly.

“I know!” You yelled over your shoulder. George watched you leave, calculating look in his eyes. You said you hated Lockwood, he didn’t doubt you believed it, too. But he knew that most people didn’t remember which fizzy drinks their enemies liked.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

Thankfully, you got just the distraction you needed. Your team had been given one of the most exciting cases on the Fittes roster. One of those old boutique hotels with funnily named rooms and a long, terrible history that had you buried in fascinating research. You couldn’t believe your team had been given the assignment, it was a sign that you were really beginning to be respected as a team leader in the agency. So, you couldn’t screw it up.

You and your team had been practically camped out in the Fittes archives, researching as much as you possibly could about the old hotel. There were a smattering of unfortunate deaths across the years — some darker than others, but you were confident it was nothing you couldn’t handle. The owners hadn’t specified exactly what supernatural experiences they had seen around the hotel, just that it was clear there were several presences around and they wanted them all gone to reopen the hotel as soon as possible. This did admittedly make you a little apprehensive — you didn’t actually have a solid idea of how many ghosts you’d be dealing with, and it was anyone’s guess how many of them would be Type Twos.

Finally, you were confident you and your team had done as much research as you could, and you were prepared for anything. And so you packed your kit bags, took the train ride and rocked up to the hotel mid afternoon, confidence overflowing. By nightfall you’d been on a tour of the grounds, set up your base and had started brewing some tea to get you all in the zone. You took a glance out the front window, seeing movement in one of the windows of the house next door. It was owned by the people who ran the hotel and they intended to open it as a second venue, but delegated the job to some smaller agency since the stakes for it weren’t as high.

It was all going well for a while. You had a plan to go room by room, making each ghost free before finishing in the majorly haunted kitchen. You were inclined to believe there’d be a cluster of Type Twos there since it was set alight years ago, and the accident had been swept under the rug in favour of saving the business.

The entryway was easy; a few Type Ones that practically led you their sources, clearly just wanting to finally be laid to rest. There was one nasty Limbless that gave you all a fright, but your researcher, Ben, was always miles ahead of the rest of you and knew exactly who the ghost was and therefore how to put him to rest. You told him you owed him a beer later and moved on, crossing a single room off the floor plan and shifting into the library, which was not so easy.

You started to think things were not as great as you originally anticipated when you turned to face the mass of Type Ones. Not the end of the world, a little bloody annoying though. Sarah seemed to agree, kicking the leg of a couch in frustration. The four of you figured your way out of it, though significantly depleted of supplies.

You returned to your home base to recoup, physically and mentally battered.

“What’s the plan?” Sarah asked, chugging down mouthfuls from her water bottle. You bit the inside of your cheek as you thought hard, tapping your fingers insistently on the old wooden table.

“Alright, I think we’ve got enough for one more safely. Kyan, you go outside and get the rest of our equipment whilst we hit the second bedroom.”

“If we’re right then there should only be the one ghost there, right? The strangled woman?” You nodded in response to Ben, mentally drawing your plan.

“And if you’re wrong?” Kyan asked.

“We won’t be,” You affirmed, tapping twice on the table to get you all moving.

Kyan left the building to go fetch the spare supplies and the remaining three of you ventured into the second bedroom. Everything was as it should be; lower temperature, creeping feelings of unease and miasma. You’d put together your chain circle and were feeling good about the Type Two woman you were facing, well, as good as you could in those circumstances.

That was, until it wasn’t just one Type Two. Despite the research and preparation you’d undertaken, there was definitely more than one Type Two enraged by your presence in the room at that moment. There was the woman, an angry apparition of some sort — you didn’t have the time to exactly figure out which subtype she fell into when a man also appeared. Shit. He wasted no time showing you he was aggressive too, and your heart sunk into your toes.

Doing some quick mental calculations, you announced the new plan — to get out. As team leader, you refused to be responsible for an injury or something worse because you wouldn’t back down when you knew you didn’t have enough defences left.

“Soon as it’s safe, get the fuck out of here,” You said, feeling to make sure they were still both in the circle with you as you stood with backs inward. “Use your defences as liberally as you feel you need to — we’re all getting out of here tonight.”

“What about the sources?” Sarah asked nervously, “We’ve only got one or two so far.”

“Who cares? Most agencies get one or two a mission and we’re in a giant bloody hotel. We’ve got more nights to get this done. We can’t get it done if you lot go off and die, can we?” Ben shrugged.

“S’pose not. Let’s go.” With that the three of you made a run for it, bolting out the bedroom door and into the corridor.

“Oh fuck!” You yelled, dodging out the way of another phantom headed your way. Evidently your previous endeavours had attracted the attention of some of the other ghosts inhabiting the hotel, none looking all that happy.

Your swear words didn’t falter as you continued the escape, ducking and jumping and making an utter fool of yourself to ensure you all made it out alive. You’d been covered by Sarah a few minutes ago with one of her magnesium flares, and so returned the favour without hesitation, only faltering slightly when you realised it was your last. You tried not to worry about it too much, you were nearing the laundry where there was a back door you could get to.

The closer you got to your escape the fewer visible apparitions there were. That was a good thing, your chances of ghost touch reducing greatly. However, that didn’t mean you weren’t still being hunted. A poltergeist had found you somewhere along the way, and the stream of things being thrown at you hadn’t ended yet. You’d vaguely felt something heavy hitting the back of your head and shoulders, but the adrenaline pumping through your veins was withholding the pain for the moment.

You’d crossed the threshold into the laundry, the back door within your sights. Maybe you got complacent, believing the end was nearer than you thought. Maybe it was just awful timing. However, as your feet hit the tiles of the room, you were being swept off your feet by the washing machine sliding into you, crushing you between it and the wall. You cried out unintentionally, feeling a sickening crack inside your chest. Your teammates turned back, door wide open and safety in sight.

“Don’t you dare come back for me,” You croaked, the wind pushed out of you. “Or I swear to God I’ll come and haunt you.” Ben took the threat and ran, ducking out the door into the fresh air of the night. Sarah hesitated, turning back to lock eyes with you, regret painted across her features. With a final threat she left too, leaving you to try and push the machine away from you in order to make your own escape. However, in an unfortunate series of events, the adrenaline started to wear off after your chase and you felt the sharp pain running along your skull, a thick drop of blood making its way down from a strand of hair into your left eye. Plus, you were pretty sure the machine had broken one of your wrists as any pressure you put onto it trying to move the machine set your nerves on fire, leaving you just your legs to try and make an escape. Turns out it’s harder than it looks to push a stupidly heavy washing machine away from you with your legs when you’re incapacitated on the floor.

Seeing your best friend the strangled woman approaching you sighed, trying to resign yourself to your fate. There was no way you were making it out without a miracle, and you were never the lucky kind. As she spotted you, you sealed your eyes tightly closed, unwilling to watch your own demise. It never came. When you chanced one eye open all you saw was sparks, the unmistakeable smell of a magnesium flare filling the room. You didn’t know what to feel. Relieved, of course, pissed off that your team had disrespected your wishes and endangered themselves, faint from the adrenaline and blood loss. Mostly faint, you decided, as you lay your head back against the tile, a sleep sounding like the nicest thing in the world suddenly.

You must have passed out for a minute or two as when you opened your eyes again you were in the air, distant voices yelling over the explosions and lights, but you felt a million miles away. You cuddled yourself into the body of whoever was carrying you — they were warm and your body felt ice cold. Everywhere you looked appeared blurry (and slightly pink, presumably from the blood in your eye), so you granted yourself some mercy and simply closed them. You thought you heard a mumbled “Hold on for me,” But you couldn’t be sure, everything was ringing in your head and the weight of staying awake was heavy on your foggy brain.

The next time you woke up was about half an hour later, or so you guessed. The sky was fractionally lighter than you remembered seeing, inching towards dawn, and you were laid down on dewey wet grass. The cool of it was nice on your skin, though you knew it would do major damage to your hair. Not that that was your greatest concern at the moment. You pushed yourself up on your elbows slowly, looking around at the scene that was coming into focus. Your team were on one side of you, looking exhausted but mostly physically fine. Straight ahead of you was Barnes, not looking as disappointed as you thought he would after a failed case. To your left was Lockwood and Co. Why were Lockwood and Co here? Why was Lockwood looking at you so intently, and why did he look like he was worried about you?

Only the first of your questions was answered. Evidently Lockwood and Co were the ‘small agency’ the hotel owners had given a chance for the smaller house on the edge of the property. They heard the commotion your team had made and Sarah’s screaming outside the kitchen door and came to save the day — of course. You were about to put up the protest that you didn’t need saving but it died in your throat when you saw the serious looks of everyone around you. Clearly this wasn’t the time for any of your bullshit.

“Clearly this case is bigger than your team can achieve,” Barnes said, and the fire was reignited within you. He must have been able to see what you were going to say and cut you off, “But I’m not taking you off the case.”

“Thank you,” You said quickly, tension in your shoulders releasing slightly.

“Lockwood and Co will work with you until the hotel is ghost free.”

“What?” You and Lockwood cried in unison, and you felt his eyes fall back on you. You refused to meet his gaze.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sir—” You started, being cut off by Lockwood.

“We don’t work well together—”

“I happen to know you both need this case, or do you not care about the future of your jobs?” Barnes raised an eyebrow in the intimidating way only he could pull off. He had you there. Failing in a case, especially one that resulted in a near death experience would certainly jeopardise your trajectory at Fittes, and, unbeknownst to you, Lockwood and Co were pretty desperate for some good representation, unable to receive the praise deserved from the Combe Carey Hall case. You looked at Lockwood to find him already searching your face. After a moment of silent arguing between the two of you, you turned back to face Barnes, exaggerated smiles on both your faces.

“We’ll do it.” You smiled sweetly. A few more formalities sent Barnes and the other DEPRAC officer off, and only the two teams were left standing around, shifting uncomfortably under the weight of all the kit bags.

“So what do we do now?” Sarah asked, a thought very similar to the ones bouncing around your head at the moment.

“Breakfast?” George suggested, and you didn’t think you’d ever seen your team agree to something so enthusiastically. The group of you all headed back to the train station, but Lockwood didn’t let you continue in the line to get your ticket. Instead he pulled you away from the crowd, seeming to have already told Lucy what was happening, judging from her cheerful wave goodbye.

You glared at him, yanking your arm away then groaning at the pain.

“What are we doing, Lockwood?” You asked with an exaggerated huff.

“We’re going to the hospital,” He said, unbothered by your protests. “And don’t say you’re fine because it’s clear you’re injured. I’d say a broken wrist, concussion and maybe a cracked rib, but we can let the doctors tell us I’m wrong, I’d be happy for them to tell you otherwise.” That shut you up, not least because you knew he was probably right. You’d been given a shot of adrenaline and a few painkillers by the DEPRAC officer who accompanied Barnes over, but you probably did need actual medical attention.

It was a very awkward cab ride to the local hospital. You and Lockwood were so used to arguing by now that silence felt like the only other viable option. You couldn’t make small talk, what would you even talk about? The only thing you knew about his life was his childhood, and you sure as hell weren’t gonna talk about that. The tension was palpable in the backseat, and when the cab driver wished you good luck for the hospital visit, you figured he didn’t just mean because of your injuries. You did force yourself to thank Lockwood when he paid for the ride though, even if it was just for the sake of the day moving on faster.

At least the waiting room created its own noise; beeping and chattering and footsteps filling the silence between you two. You struggled with the form in front of you, inconveniently having your dominant hand be out of working order. You painfully etched out your information over an embarrassing amount of time before Lockwood huffed loudly and snatched the clipboard from your lap.

“Fuck’s sake,” He muttered, pulling his own pen from his suit pocket, beginning to scribble down the answers for you. You just relaxed, your tired, drug-addled brain being allowed to rest for a moment. It wasn’t until he asked about your health insurance that you fully realised he was answering the questions by memory and forced your eyes to focus on the paper. Sure enough he’d gotten it all right, birthday and middle name included. You glanced up at him curiously, but it seemed like this was the moment he refused to make eye contact. You only had to inform him of things that had changed since you’d fallen out, neither of you verbalising that fact.

Things didn’t change when you were called into the doctor’s office either. The mix of pain, medicine and sleep deprivation led you to embrace the exam table and bordered on falling asleep as Lockwood talked for you. He’d gotten the rundown of the actual events from Sarah and his brief moments when he saved you, and explained the night as you got an x-ray for your hand. Plus, as you were waiting for the cast (it was, in fact, broken), he explained your previous medical history — the knee you dislocated when you were nine and the broken pinky finger from the year after. You only had to participate to explain the injuries you’d acquired during your career as an agent; the ones from after you and Lockwood stopped being friends.

The whole trip was extremely bizarre and slightly unnerving, and you were glad to get on the train on the way back.

“You were wrong about one thing,” You said, pulling out your walkman from your kit bag.

“And what’s that?” Lockwood asked, and you got the impression he was bracing to be yelled at again — you felt almost bad.

“No cracked rib for me.” You grinned, beginning to laugh uncharacteristically. You didn’t know why, it really wasn’t that funny, but Lockwood followed suit soon after. The two of you laughed borderline hysterically, much too energetic for that hour of the morning when everyone else was still heading to work. It only tapered off when your poor ribs couldn’t take it anymore (not broken but aggressively bruised), and the two of you fell back into silence. You had your music and Lockwood had a magazine you suspected he’d stolen from the A+E waiting room.

The only other time you spoke during the trip was when you summoned the courage to utter a somewhat genuine “Thank you.”

“What?”

“Thanks. For not letting me die. And stuff.”

“Oh. You’re welcome,” Lockwood shot you a smile, the glowing kind you rarely got to see anymore.

As you got back to London and closer to Portland Row where your team was waiting, the air seemed to get thicker between the two of you once again. Maybe it was the proximity to the things that had torn you apart or the sense that you had predefined roles to play, but the carefree air between you had dissipated, leaving only the familiar tension that had been building over the last four years.

You followed Lockwood inside, trying to hide the out of body experience you were having returning to his family home after so many years. It had changed a little, of course, but still felt overwhelmingly the same, which both scared and comforted you. All the freaky foreign ghost hunting objects still littered the shelves, and you took the liberty of admiring them once again, remembering the stories Lockwood’s parents would tell about them and the adventures they’d had when collecting them. In your periphery you saw Lockwood hurriedly grab something off the wall by the stairs, shoving it in a drawer, but you really had no interest, choosing instead to reacquaint yourself with the house. The glimpse you got up the stairs showed a myriad of framed pictures of Lockwood and you scoffed — of course his ego would be on full display within his own home.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

It was surprisingly easy to get into the groove of working with Lockwood and Co. Obviously you already liked George and Lucy, but your team seemed to work unexpectedly well with theirs. You and Lockwood stayed out of each other’s ways, the few times you were left to work together resulting in another stupid argument. The first time when you thought he was calling you dumb, the second over something minuscule; who’d let the tea brew too long so it tasted shit. And then who had to subsequently get up and make the next pot. Despite both of you honestly trying to be professional and get on with the job, it was agreed by everyone that it was simply easiest to keep the two of you apart as much as possible.

However, when the hotel owners wanted the leaders of both teams to meet up for updates on the case, you couldn’t get out of it. The day wasn’t looking good. You’d shown up to Portland Row so you could get a cab together — the meeting being dinner in central London, and had already argued with him over his choice of socks. In your defence, the powder blue socks matching your dress did make it look like you were a high school couple trying to match at a formal! However, George had rolled his eyes and pushed the two of you back out and towards the waiting cab, effectively ending that argument. You’d also teased Lockwood for bringing his rapier to a business dinner, but that was neither here nor there.

You’d held it together for most of the dinner, both of you putting on your best fronts and using your most formal tones to convince the elder couple that you were confident about the case. You found yourself kicking his shins to stop Lockwood from making promises you couldn’t keep regarding the case, and he got you back with condescending remarks, correcting you when he disagreed with how you presented the case. Altogether though you thought you were pretty subtle, and the two of you were presenting a model image of your respective companies.

However, when you shot Lockwood one of your saccharine smiles under the pretence of friendliness — he’d just undermined your authority again and stolen the best piece of dessert that you were going for, as if he didn’t torture you enough — you were shocked to hear the woman across from you laugh.

“It’s so wonderful to see you two bicker like an old married couple,” She giggled, and both you and Lockwood’s jaws dropped. “I mean, it just seems so dismal to be dating in these times, but you two give me hope that the future generations will still be able find love despite the Problem.”

“And clearly you’re both sensible kids, which is very important for a lasting relationship. Working for two different agencies would surely diffuse tensions around all those dangerous missions and such you agents partake in — except for this one, of course,” Her husband chimed in, jolly glint in his eyes.

“Yes, yes, but it’s important to remember to be kids as much as you can. But you two playing footsies all night has proved that you’ve got that covered too. Silliness is just as crucial as being sensible, it’s how a marriage stays fun. We would know, we’ve had fifty odd years of it!”

You didn’t know how to react, and by the looks of it, Lockwood didn’t know either with his signature smile frozen on his face. First of all, you were not playing footsies with Anthony Lockwood — the bruise forming under his trouser leg was testament to that. Second of all, you had no idea how the woman could get your dynamic so incredibly wrong. Aside from all of Lockwood’s double edged comments and cocky corrections of basically anything you said, the two of you had hardly addressed each other directly all night, you might as well have been strangers!

The dinner wrapped up very soon after. The couple had taken a liking to you both and so trusted your teams to handle the case as you saw fit, only making you promise to take a romantic weekend getaway (or honeymoon! As the woman had remarked optimistically) to the hotel once it was completely ghost-free and renovated. For once you were glad that Lockwood was unable to ever shut up as he took the lead, seeming to believe that corroborating their assumption was the best choice in your situation. You weren’t sure you were entirely comfortable with lying to this sweet old couple, but you couldn’t deny that Lockwood was a better talker than you, and would probably handle the situation with more delicacy.

That was how you ended up being led out of the restaurant with Lockwood’s hand on the small of your back. You wondered if he’d ever done this before, and you didn’t know if you meant for a real or pretend relationship. You both said your goodbyes to the couple, flattered by the abundance of compliments they paid you — both personally and professionally, assuring you they were overjoyed to have your teams work the case. Just before they stepped into the cab the woman took you aside.

“Hold onto a boy who looks at you like that,” She said, “You might fight, but when he’s this in awe of you, you’ll find a way to make it work.” You didn’t know how to respond to that and so simply nodded, offering a weak smile as she slid into the back seat of the taxi.

That left you and Lockwood alone. You just looked at each other for a moment, unsure of how to proceed.

“Do you mind if we walk home? I really fancy some air right now.” Lockwood easily agreed, looking rather flustered himself, and off the two of you went into the night.

Neither of you spoke for a while, but you could tell he wanted to. Lockwood always chewed his lip when he was holding something back, he had since he was a child. You sighed and asked him, knowing it was the only way to make the habit go away.

“Nothing,” He said, “Just weird. Don’t you think?”

“Nah,” You lied, “Old people just say things like that all the time. They don’t care to know the full picture.”

“Which is?”

“We hate each other.” Hurt flashed through his eyes, but it didn’t make you feel as good as it did the first time you’d said it.

“I don’t hate you,” He said quietly, almost a whisper.

“What?”

“I don’t hate you. We don’t get along anymore, but I don’t hate you. I hope you know that.” You faltered for a second. Had his use of ‘anymore’ been intentional to create a stabbing feeling in your gut?

“Oh. I guess I don’t really hate you either, if we’re getting sappy about it.” You tried to diffuse the tension growing between you, not wanting it to evolve into a discussion about what estranged you in the first place. Lockwood refused to apologise and you refused to forget, resulting in the bitter stalemate you’d been locked in for the past few years.

Your distraction came with a glance over Lockwood’s shoulder, and the wisp of a phantom coming into view. Lockwood was trying to continue the conversation about your developing relationship, but stopped when he noticed you frozen beside him. Turning slowly he swore when he saw the ghost, going straight for his rapier.

“Put your hand into my coat pocket,” He said, effectively drawing you from your freeze.

“Excuse me?” You whisper-yelled, not in the mood for him to try and lighten the mood with whatever dumb joke he was trying to make.

“Just trust me, I have flares in the inside pocket, just reach in and grab them to defend yourself whilst I keep an eye on them.” Them? You wondered until you looked around, seeing other ghosts start to emerge from the shadows, attracted by the scene you were obviously creating. You wasted no more time, ignoring the intimacy of reaching into Lockwood’s jacket, grabbing yourself a flare for each hand. With you accounted for, Lockwood told you the plan, he’d fight a path back to Portland Row and you’d cover the both of you with the flares, since you weren’t good for very much else with a broken wrist and no rapier.

It was hardly the most intense situation you or Lockwood had been in, but as the primary fighter in the situation, Lockwood was still putting up a good show of skill. Despite yourself you were entranced, admiring the graceful way he moved with the rapier, so in tune with it you’d think it was connected to his arm. As much as you hated Lockwood — well, you’d just established you didn’t actually hate him. As much as you thought he was egotistical and irritating, you had to admit that you really admired him as an agent. Lockwood was undeniably talented with a rapier — it was the fencing competition that got him started in this business in the first place — but to watch him in action was really something special. If you didn’t know better you’d think it was easy for him, he fought with the same ease and elegance he might drink a cup of tea.

You were so caught up in watching him that you hardly noticed when you arrived in front of 35 Portland Row, both luckily un-ghost touched. You were also alerted to the proximity you’d found yourself in. You’d stayed close obviously, not wanting to be left to the ghosts, but when Lockwood had turned to make sure you were still with him safely inside the iron fence, you found yourself only inches apart.

At this distance you were alerted to just how much he’d changed since you were kids. He was taller, obviously, your chin tilted up to make eye contact. He’d lost the baby fat that used to fill out his cheeks, leaving his face defined and bordering on gaunt — you figured he wasn’t taking very good care of himself, judging on the dark circles that seemed by now permanent. Plus something had changed in his eyes. He didn’t look carefree anymore, something dark and tortured lay behind the charming smiles. It wasn’t hard to guess what it was, and you figured you probably had something identical. However, the small scar on his jawline from when you accidentally flung a plastic toy into his face was still there which drew a small smile from you. Something within you urged to run your finger along it, and you felt your fingers twitch before you realised how inappropriate it was. That instinct didn’t feel so bad though when you caught Lockwood’s gaze shift down to your lips. Only momentarily, but you saw it. And worse? The fact that you didn’t mind. After all of these years and the fighting and terrible words shared, here you were maybe about to kiss Anthony Lockwood. You would be disgusted with yourself if you didn’t have so many other feelings fighting their way to the top.

The front door opening was enough to make you both jump apart, you rushing towards it to get as far from Lockwood as possible.

“Hey Lucy!” You called, practically floating up the front steps you were going so fast.

“Uh, hey, guys. We thought we heard you outside so I got sent to check. Had to make sure you weren’t secretly making out or something,” She joked and you forced out a laugh, far too loud to be real.

“As if! Come on, I’m dying for some tea.” You slid past her, rushing straight to the kitchen for a minute to think.

Lucy watched you go suspiciously, before turning to Lockwood.

“What did you do?” She interrogated, all her scary Lucy-ness coming out.

“I don’t know,” Lockwood replied earnestly, still somewhat dazed himself. Lucy gave him one last look up and down before returning inside, leaving Lockwood to fix his smile on before rejoining the two teams.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

The week leading up to your team’s next attempt at the hotel was extremely weird. You and Lockwood hadn’t spoken about what had happened (or almost happened) out in the front garden, but you had had a long talk about your behaviour lately. Over a few cups of tea in the kitchen whilst the rest of your teams were working down in the basement, you managed to both admit you were being dickheads. There was no mention of the underlying factors of your resentment, but you both agreed for the sake of your jobs you would try and be friends, or at least civil. No more bickering, no more picking apart small comments, no more rolling eyes.

It worked for a bit, which was really complicating your emotions. On the one hand, Lockwood was lovely, like he’d always been, and it was kind of nice to be able to talk and joke with him again after so many years, although you both carefully avoided the topic of your personal lives. On the other hand, it made you sad to pretend that everything was fine when you knew what you did. He didn’t think you could be an agent; Lockwood didn’t think you were good enough. And you could both pretend all you liked to be friends, but as long as that was what he thought about you it could never be real. So, while you’d both stopped your rivalry on the surface and gotten on with the case, there was a tension bubbling behind your smiles that both of you could see whenever you locked eyes.

It all came to a head when you started discussing your action plan for the hotel. All seven of you were standing in the basement of Portland Row, staring at a blown up floor plan of the place, little figurines representing each of you. It didn’t take you long to realise that you weren’t being represented.

“Where am I?” You asked, an uneasy silence falling over the room.

“You’re not coming.” Lockwood took the fall, even though it had been a unanimous decision whilst you were on an Arif’s run one afternoon.

“Excuse me?” You couldn’t help the biting tone in your words, fury you’d worked hard to conceal bubbling back up to the surface.

“Your wrist—” Sarah tried to reason, but something in you had unlocked and you were not backing down this time.

“You and I know full well if this was a Fittes case I would still be out in the field, broken wrist be damned,” You spat, and you could practically see the gears turning in Lockwood and Lucy’s heads.

“They make you go into the field injured?” Lucy asked, but you weren’t focused on answering her — George nodded for you.

“So who’s barred me from being in the field, on what I might remind you, was my case first.” There were a few moments of silence where no one wanted to be the subject of your anger, but with a resigned sigh, Lockwood accepted the blame.

“It was my idea.” You couldn’t help the frustrated groan that came out of your mouth.

“God, this is so typical! You’ve never thought I was good enough, and now what? Sabotaging my cases? My career? Because you don’t believe in me,” Your voice broke on the last sentence, and you could feel the tears heavy behind your eyes, threatening to fall. You spat a final “Fuck you,” before running up the basement stairs, up to where you knew the bathroom would be for some privacy.

You realised when you were at the top of the stairs that in your time working with Lockwood and Co you hadn’t actually used their bathroom, and didn’t remember which of the closed doors it was. Choosing one blindly you shut yourself inside, finally letting the tears that blurred your vision roll down your cheeks.

You sobbed heavily, indulging all the terrible feelings you’d been concealing for far too long. When the tears weren’t so frequent the setting around you came back into focus, and you noticed with a start you definitely weren’t in the bathroom. The view from the window told you it was Lockwood’s late parent’s bedroom, but the used furniture and messy bed said someone was still living there. Your stomach dropped as you stood, wiping the tears from your eyes. Looking around you were sure this was Lockwood’s room, the suit jacket on the desk chair a dead giveaway. However, a picture frame on his nightstand attracted your attention the most. It was the same one you had in your dorm at Fittes, the one gifted to you by Lockwood’s parents for your birthday. Both of you grinning widely and carelessly joyful. It had been so long since you’d felt like that, even longer since you’d felt it around Lockwood. The thought made your heart ache a bit. His parents would be so disappointed in the two of you. That made you start crying a little again, picking up the photo to examine it closer.

“It’s been there since you left,” A voice from behind you said. “I couldn’t bring myself to put it away.” You hadn’t noticed Lockwood come in and you didn’t know how long he’d been standing there. You put the photo down with a start, turning away to wipe your face dry again.

“Go away, Lockwood. Just give me a minute and I’ll be back downstairs. I overreacted but I need to get over it, okay?” You snapped, praying your face wasn’t still red and splotchy (it was).

“No,” He said, and you turned to face him curiously. “Look, this has gone on long enough and we need to fix things.” You crossed your arms petulantly, a silent challenge for him to fix the damage you believed to be all his. “You said downstairs that I thought you couldn’t be an agent. Why?”

“Don’t you remember when I told you I wanted to be an agent like you?” You scoffed, “You all but laughed in my face! You said I couldn’t do it, that I’d be injured or killed and I couldn’t handle it. I’ve thought about that every case since, you killed my self esteem for years. I thought that if no one else, my best friend should have believed in me. But here I am, youngest team leader at Fittes with the highest successful case rate for my division. All in spite of you.” Lockwood stared at you, and you could practically see his neurons firing and making connections at a million miles an hour.

“That’s not what I said.” You could barely contain your bitter laugh.

“Does it matter? You didn’t believe in me, that’s what’s important.”

“No,” He said, “Because that’s not what I meant at all. I did believe in you — I do. I always have.” You scoffed again as he stumbled over his words. A little grovelling now couldn’t make up for all the years of anxiety and insecurity he’d caused.

“I mean it! If I didn’t believe in you, then what’s all this?” He led you to one of his dresser drawers. Opening it there were a stack of papers and you picked a few of them up, flipping through them. Every single one was about you. Photos from your childhood together, newspaper clippings of your successes throughout the years, the magazine article you interviewed for talking about women in power in the ghost hunting field. Lockwood had saved every piece of media about you, the ragged edges showing he’d ripped them out just to keep them. You remained silent, astonished by this new revelation. You looked up at him, and Lockwood could have cried at the look in your eyes.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t be an agent,” He explained, “Or that’s not what I meant. I meant that you shouldn’t, or more clearly, I was saying don’t. Asking. Don’t you remember? My parents were dead, my sister had just died. You were all I had left, and I didn’t want you to jump head first into the most dangerous job in the world. I wanted to protect you.” It was Lockwood’s turn for his voice to break and tears to arise, and you suddenly felt supremely stupid.

“Oh,” Was all you could say. After all of these years; the insults thrown and dirty looks exchanged, all your anger came from a misunderstanding? Not only that, a misunderstanding that twisted such an earnest declaration of care into something so awful.

“But you did it, and you weren’t just any agent,” He laughed slightly despite his emotions, “You were the best bloody agent Fittes has ever seen and all I could do was watch from the shadows and be proud of you silently. Why do you think Lucy knew who you were already? There were pictures of you all over the house before I made them take them all down when I knew we were working together. I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“But all the arguing…” You trailed off, still unable to completely process this information.

“Just because I love you doesn’t mean you don’t drive me up the wall, especially when you were being — or I believed you were — deliberately obtuse to my efforts to explain myself. But now I see we were just on totally different wavelengths.” You were really struggling, there was a lot of new information being revealed at such a rapid pace that was completely changing your perspective on your whole adolescence.

“You love me?” Lockwood did laugh this time, loudly and with the same charm he usually had.

“Yes, you idiot. I have since we were kids.”

Oh. Oh. You suddenly felt like an idiot. All of this time you thought that Lockwood believed you were weak, not good enough, not worthy of your successes, when in fact it was the complete opposite. And then you thought about how you felt about Lockwood. How his believed lack of faith in you affected you so much because you cared so deeply about what he thought of you. How you could never bring yourself to look away when he was fighting because he was so completely in his element. How nice it had been to be able to joke around with him during your research. Oh God. You thought you simply respected him and his skills as an agent, but evidently the truth had been just out of reach your whole life.

“Anthony?” He was already looking at you, eyes searching deep into your soul. “I think I might love you too.” Neither of you could help the kiddish smiles making their way on your faces, and he wrapped his arms around you tightly before you knew what was happening. It felt nice to be held by him again, the last time would have been after his sister died. These were much better circumstances.

When you both came down the stairs later, no one mentioned your intertwined hands. You all had a lovely dinner at Portland Row, warmth and laughter filling the space and making you feel at home like you used to when you were a kid.

It wasn’t until you were on your way back to the Fittes dorms that Sarah leaned over to you, mischievous grin on her face.

“Tell me you were making out up there, please,” She giggled, and you shoved her away lightheartedly.

“Shut up,” You laughed, “Besides, it wasn’t making out.”

[hobiebrownismygod]

Hallo!! Can you make a Miles(could be any Miles tbh) x gn!reader in library fic? I js think it'll be adorable pls jhsjjshh

aww I love the library setting 😭😭 it’s so cute I decided to write a short one for both the Miles’. I hope you enjoy this anon!! Thx for requesting <3

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

1610 Miles

"Boo!"

You jumped back slightly as Miles peeked at you from the other side of the bookcase, a wide grin on his face. He was not what you were expecting to see when you pulled out the latest Percy Jackson book.

"Miles! Don't do that!" You chided, shaking your head as he jogged around the aisle, approaching you. "What? Did I scare you?" he teased, a book of his own underneath his arm.

"What book did you get?" you asked, eyeing him as he pulled it out, glancing down at the cover. "Alright don’t judge me…” he started cautiously, hiding it behind his back.

You raised a brow at that, taking a step towards him and glancing at his hidden arm. “What is it?”

He blushed slightly, slowly moving it towards you. “The Cruel Prince. I just heard about it and I dunno, I thought it’d be a good read.”

You grinned, pulling him towards you by the arm and taking the book from his hand. “What’s there to be embarrassed of? It is a good read” you teased, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I love this book.”

“Wanna read it with me?” He suggested, catching you off guard. “With you?”

“Yeah. I’ll get you your own copy, come on.” He said, nudging you towards the shelf. You looked up to see the book, a few shelves above you.

Before you could even attempt to get the book on your own, you saw his arm reaching up, grabbing it and promptly wrapping around your waist to pull you around.

“Miles?” You let a soft exhale as he pushed your back against the shelf, a stupid grin on his face as he kissed your forehead gently, lips lingering there for a moment. “Sorry.” He mumbled. “You look pretty today. Well you look pretty every day, just today…especially”

You smiled as he stumbled over his words, arms coming up to wrap around his neck. “I love you, you know that?”

His eyes widened momentarily, expression stuck in a grin stretched from ear-to-ear. “I know. I love you too.”

42 Miles

"Hey, you"

You felt an arm hook around your waist from the back, a chin resting atop your head. "What book are you looking for?"

"Jesus, Miles, you scared me" you said with a laugh, tilting your head back onto his chest so you could see his face. He gave you a slight smile before looking back at the shelf. "You didn't answer my question."

"I don't know...just something interesting. I've been pretty bored at home recently." You whispered, fingering through the different books, eyes lingering for a moment on each and every cover.

He pulled a random one out, glancing at the cover, a smile spreading across his face at the realization. "This one looks cool."

"Which is it?" you asked absentmindedly, not even sparing him a look.

He turned it towards you, grabbing your attention. "50 shades of grey."

You smacked his arm and he chuckled, giving you a stupid grin. "What? You not into those kind of books?"

"You're so stupid." you grumbled, taking it from his hand and shoving it back into the bookshelf. As you continued to walk down the aisle, hand out and running along the smooth wood, he followed behind you, looking somewhat like a lost puppy.

"What about a comic book? There's a new Batman out..." he looked over at the comic section longingly, eyes running over the colorful shelves, kids and teens alike crowded before them.

"You can go grab a comic book. Just come find me in the adventure section when you're done." you said, pulling out another book with a vibrant cover and opening it.

"Nah, I came here to spend time with you." he said, shaking his head. "So you have to come with me instead."

"Miles!" you groaned, letting him pull you behind him as he excitedly jogged over to the comics section. You watched him crouch down, pulling one out. "Ew. Superman."

"What's wrong with Superman?"

He shrugged, giving you a lopsided smile. "He's just boring, I dunno. I never liked him."

You pulled out another comic from behind you, flipping through the pages. "What about Flash?" His expression perked up. "Yeah, Flash is cool I guess." He said, taking it from you.

"Ahh, but you're a die-hard Batman fan, aren't you. It's practically treason to read a different comic" you said sarcastically, swiping it back from him.

"Hey, hey, no need to be dramatic. I can read about other superheroes too" he teased. "Batman's just my favorite." he gave you a wink.

"It suits you." you said with a grin, kissing him on the cheek as he began to flip through the comic, a wide smile on his face. "Was that supposed to be a pun?"

"No? How would that...oh. Shut up."

He laughed again, pulling you over as he sat down in the beanbag in the corner of the room, giving you some space to sit down next to him. He let you cuddle up to him, already opening up the book to read it.

"This is my favorite way to spend time with you, you know?" he said softly, pressing his lips against your forehead.

"Mine too." you whispered back, letting your head fall against his shoulder. "Mine too."

[chaileaf]

𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐑 - part two

› featuring: camboy!shuntaro chishiya + fem!reader

› word count: 8,451 words

› synopsis: shuntaro chishiya is the star student at your school. not only is he handsome and athletic- he is extremely well liked by all the professors with perfect grades. whenever you attend a meeting for the school council, as you’re the only one currently running for president, you feel the presence of the one and only chishiya. realizing he is trying to take your spot as president, you listen closely to what he says. then and only then did it click: his voice, those eyes, the way the corner of his lips curl… he is the camboy you watch in your free time! when you get a notification on your phone for a bidding livestream, you're intrigued. it was an auction hosted by none other than k1ng0fd1am0nds. the prize? a private cam date with him, orgasm included.

› rating: nsfw, +18

› cw: vulgar language, mutual masturbation on camera, rivals to fucking, dominant!chishiya, face slapping, oral sex (f), facefucking (m), submissive!reader, degradation, calling chishiya daddy, slight praise, public sex in a library, creampie, somewhat rough sex

› setting: college au

⤷ chai's note: hiii! this is my first fic i've written in a while! i'm so excited to publish this and i really hope you all enjoy it. i had a lot of fun writing it. i love chishiya sm if it wasn't already obvious. anyways, this isn't proofread so if there's mistakes, pls ignore them. love u byeee xoxo (p.s. there’s a hint to my next fic in here and no, it’s not aki hayakawa hehe)

⤷tags: @poetrieshouse @tungstenorc

it was a familiar feeling for you. the feeling of getting off to his voice, to the way his lips curl into a blissful smirk whenever he touched himself on camera. he was your favorite cam to watch after a stressful day of classes.

you let out a deep breath, reaching for the small towel beside your bed to wipe your hand of the juices that covered your fingers. your heart was still racing from your orgasm and your breathing was slowly but surely slowing to a normal pace. your brain was foggy from the quick orgasm, but it still felt like one of the best ones so far. of course, you said that every time you watched his show and came to him.

you let out a deep breath, reaching for the small towel beside your bed to wipe your hand of the juices that covered your fingers. your heart was still racing from your orgasm and your breathing was slowly but surely slowing to a normal pace. your brain was foggy from the quick orgasm, but it still felt like one of the best ones so far. of course, you said that every time you watched his show and came to him.

“i hope you all enjoyed my show. i’ll be doing another livestream in a few days so make sure to turn my notifications on. thank you for tuning in and have a splendid night.” his sultry and noticeably softer voice made you turn your head towards your computer screen, admiring how pretty his lips looked in the camera. even though you could only see from his nose down, you knew that he was handsome. there was no doubt about it. no amount of masks and camera angles could hide how attractive he was. it was no surprise that he had so many viewers watching him get off using various toys and methods. not only that, but people paying for these toys, and for him to touch himself how they wanted to see him do. you wished you had more money to spare, to see him get off in a way that you desired. unfortunately, being a college student didn’t give you the ability to spend your extra income on some popular camboy.

to say you were sexually frustrated was an understatement. you never thought you’d get to a point in your life where you would have notifications for a camboy set so that you wouldn’t miss his show. you shook your head and layed down, opening your emails to see if any of your professors had sent anything important out.

just as you had thought, a new email was sitting at the top of your inbox. you rolled your eyes, closing them and laying your head back further into the pillow. school wasn’t difficult for you, more so tiring than anything else. you couldn’t wait for it to be over, and as a senior, you were so excited to graduate with a degree in the spring and start your life.

your fingers glided across your screen and opened the email titled ‘school government meeting’. it was nothing more than a reminder of the meeting for tomorrow. you groaned, rubbing your eyes with one hand before realizing it was the hand you got off with and quickly removing it. what would the student body have to say if they knew their future class president was getting off to a camboy, you wondered. that thought alone made your face grimace,

you set your alarms and plugged your phone in before turning the bedside lamp off and snuggling into bed with your stuffed animal. your brain created thoughts of the camboy and what he looked like. you’ve only seen his eyes and lips, amongst other explicit body parts. you could feel the blush on your face as you slowly fell asleep, wondering what his hands would feel like on yourself instead.

the morning of the school meeting came sooner than you would have liked. it was prior to all your classes, which eased the anxiety you would’ve had if it had been at the end of the day.

getting out of bed, you decided to look professional today. instead of the usual tee-shirt and sweatpants combo, you went for something more work casual: a pair of black bellbottom slacks and a white button up with your favorite light wash jean jacket. you topped the outfit off with your signature white converse and headed out the door, leaving early to get breakfast from the school cafeteria.

it was a nice day outside. the sun was shining enough to warm you while the wind was blowing. you smiled to yourself, putting in some headphones while you walked to the student center where the cafeteria was located. your head nodded to the beat of the songs on your playlist. while lost in song, you realized one thing: you left your bag at the dorm. all the blood rushed from your face and turned you pale. part of you wanted to run back and get it, while the other part of you knew that you’d be late for the school council meeting. you groaned to yourself, rubbing your eyes and carrying on with your walk. you decided it was best to be late for your first class rather than the meeting. in the process, you also realized that meant you didn’t have your wallet either. skipping breakfast was the only option now.

as you arrived at the student center, you headed straight to the library where the meeting was being held. you were about twenty minutes early due to not getting breakfast, which was fine with you. you went inside and decided to peer around the bookshelves to see if there was anything interesting.

while looking through the books in the medical sciences section, one in particular caught your eye. you lifted it off of the shelf and examined the cover that read ‘anatomy of the human body for dummies’. the title made you have to stifle a laugh. you’d hoped to yourself that anyone who was reading this wasn’t a pre-med major. you took your headphones out of your ears and put them back into their case before placing it into your pocket.

as you looked through the contents of the book, a familiar voice brought you back to reality. it sounded very similar to someone you knew, but who? your eyes left the pages to meet with the eyes of the one and only, chishiya shuntaro. you did your best to not immediately roll your eyes after making contact with his, closing the book you had and holding it against your chest. “can i help you?” you quizzed, attitude seeping through your words. it made him chuckle as he leaned himself against the bookshelf with his arms crossed. anyone could tell that he was an arrogant prick by the way he carried himself. you couldn’t understand why so many teachers and students alike were enamored with him.

“i said, hi y/n. is it so wrong of me to greet my fellow classmates?” the rhetoric question made you want to roll your eyes again but you didn’t, you knew it would only instigate him further. chishiya’s eyes moved from yours to the book in your hands. “anatomy of the human body… for dummies? that’s the perfect book for you.”

your eyes widened and you shoved the book back onto the shelf. you didn’t have the time to deal with his snarky attitude at eight thirty in the morning. as you walked away, you felt a hand grab at your arm. you quickly pulled it away and turned to face him, only to reveal that the gap between you both had closed in. you could feel chishiya’s breath on your face, and the scent of strawberry was in the air. it was nearly repulsive. “hey, hey. i didn’t mean it, sweetheart. you know i was jo-”

“don’t call me that.” you cut him off before he could finish his sentence. his cocky smile turned to that of a false frown, a finger lifting to just below his eye being dragged down to simulate a tear falling. it took everything in you to not scowl at him. “what do you want anyways? shouldn’t you be at track practice or tutoring some girl who’s fawning over you?” you questioned in a sarcastic tone, turning towards the bookshelf to avoid looking at him any longer. your fingers scanned over the bindings of the books, the indentions of the letters being grazed by your hand. “or better yet,” you began with the same sarcasm exuding from each word. “don’t you have some teacher’s to kiss ass to?” your eyes left the bookshelf to meet with his, a hand leaving the books to rest on your hip as you faced him this time. an eyebrow raised in question to further show how irritated you were with his presence. chishiya scoffed, holding a hand over his heart to feign hurt.

“now why would i do that?” he retorted back, seeming slightly annoyed with the rudeness you were giving him. “y’know, i don’t really understand why you don’t like me.” that statement earned a small chuckle from you as you leaned more into the hand resting on your hip. chishiya crossed his arms, returning to the stance he had against the bookshelf earlier. “i don’t get it, honestly. i’m kind, athletic, intelligent… what is there not to like, y/n?” he probed.

chishiya was right. he was a star student and the talk of the college. his grades were as perfect as they could be. he was extremely talented when it came to track and won almost every race. he wasn’t even close to being unattractive, leaving half of the female population at school that knew of him to be head over heels. there wasn’t much to not like about him. except one little thing.

“your attitude.” you answered, honestly at that. it was nearly immediate. chishiya raised an eyebrow at your statement. you took a deep breath and then sighed. “everything about you seems real, but it isn’t. you think you’re the king of the world and you’re not. i could go into detail and would love to express the ways i think you’re a phony, but i won’t. just know that you’re not who you make yourself out to be.” a genuine look of confusion and concern was plastered across his face as you spoke. you shook your head and turned to leave the star student and the stressful conversation behind.

you checked your phone as you walked away and went to go sit at the table the email told you to meet at. with five minutes left, you decided to spend it looking through your instagram feed. the door to the library opens and a few people in your year come in. you greet them with a smile and a little wave. “hey!” you say to your classmate, lily, who then sits next to you. she returns the smile as the rest gather around the table inside of the library. “you ready for the meeting?” you asked her. your anxiety for the meeting about to happen continues to rise, but her presence alone begins to stifle it.

“yes, and no. i just really wanna get it over with so i can go to class and see professor nanami!” lily leans toward you while dragging out the professor’s name. you rolled your eyes and giggled a bit before looking around. your eyes landed on chishiya who was standing close to the table, yet again leaned up against a bookshelf as if it was his signature position. this time, however, he was reading a book off of the shelf next to him. as if he was reading your mind, his eyes slowly left the pages to meet yours. a smirk played across his lips as he made contact with your eyes, making you turn back to lily who was now talking about what she had for breakfast.

mr. hayakawa, the head instructor for the student council, came through the door of the library. a sigh of relief left your lungs as you could finally get chishiya shuntaro out of your head.

the meeting went on as usual, until a familiar and annoying voice decided to speak up. “uhm, sir. i thought i’d mention that i’m also here because i wanted to run for class president. i wasn’t able to attend the last meeting, unfortunately, so i hope that i can still apply.”

all the blood that was in your face had left at this point. you couldn’t believe it— actually, you could. this is exactly the kind of thing he would do. chishiya would have the nerve to come in and ruin everything you’d planned for. the voice of mr. hayakawa brought you down from the thoughts clouded in your head and you listened to what he had to say. “that is unfortunate, but considering today is the deadline you still have time to be put on the ballot. lucky you.”

your stomach churned at the idea of having to run against someone that nearly the entire school and staff was madly in love with. you knew you had no chance and would have to pull strings if you even wanted a chance at becoming president of the graduating class. all of these thoughts were racing through your head at once and you started to feel light-headed, although it could be because of the lack of sustenance in your stomach as well.

“splendid. thank you, mr. hayakawa.” chishiya responded happily.

but… that word. splendid. your mind couldn’t understand why that single word in his voice sounded so familiar, as if you’d heard it over and over again.

until it hit you.

the flashbacks from every time you’d watched k1ng0fd1am0nd’s cam. every single time he logged off, he would say ‘have a splendid night’. you wondered why chishiya’s voice in your ear earlier sounded all-too familiar and it hit you. but could he be…? no, he couldn’t be the same person. you rejected the idea completely and pushed it in the back of your head to be locked away.

before you knew it, lily nudging your ribs brought you back to reality and you realized you’d been staring at chishiya this entire time who was returning the stare with a grin on his face. you shook your head, moving a strand of hair behind your ear before focusing back on the conversation at hand. “so, mr. shuntaro, what is your goal as president?” mr. hayakawa asked with a plain yet curious tone of voice.

“before i, hopefully, become president, i want to raise funds for a senior activity of some kind. i think it would be nice to get all of my senior classmates together for one last outing before finals, y’know? i know that it would help relieve the stress off of some of the students, me included.” chishiya answered with a smile, glancing at you ever so often. it made you want to puke.

after zoning out for most of the meeting, trying to retain some of your sanity, you finally managed to get through it. “see ya later, y/n! try not to worry too much. you’re going to be a great prez.” lily said with a smile, waving you off. you smiled back and headed to your first class of the day with a pain in your head and a pain in your ass.

you finally made it back to your dorm and immediately flopped onto your bed, face down into the pillow. a pillow-muffled groan left your mouth as you recalled the events of today. you really couldn’t believe the audacity of chishiya shuntaro, and you really couldn’t get his voice out of your head. no, not his voice. k1ng0fd1am0nd’s voice, the camboy’s voice, out of your head. you rolled over onto your back, chucking your shoes onto the floor by pulling them at the heel. a ding from your phone distracted you, with that set tone being the indicator it was from your favorite camboy. you didn’t even want to think about him. he was the one thing that brought you some sort of happiness, and it was ruined by the one and only chishiya. you grimaced before picking up your phone and reading the notification.

k1ng0fd1am0nds: “hello, my lovely watchers. i will be holding an auction to raise funds for something very dear to me. the prize? a private cam session with me, orgasm included. tune in tomorrow night to join in on the bidding. have a splendid night.”

you took a second before realizing you were holding your breath and breathing in deeply before letting it out. everything that was happening is all too coincidental for chishiya to not be him. but there’s no way, right?

you shook your head and slid your lock screen to the side, checking the numbers in your bank account before deciding that you’re going to win that auction once and for all. there was no resting until you did.

“hello, my lovely watchers. it’s so good to be back.” the camboy’s voice rang through the speakers of your headphones as you watched him contently. he had a mask on as usual, and his shirt was nowhere to be seen. you admired his smile, amongst other things, as you listened to what he had to say. “now, before we start, i wanted to lay out some rules. you can bid in $10 increments at minimum. the second rule is that to buy out all the bidders, you must autobuy. that means you will be paying $1000 to win the private cam session with me. got it?” his signature smirk was plastered on his face and you couldn’t help but notice how uncannily similar it was to chishiya’s grin. “let’s begin!”

it took twelve turns of bidding while the cam boy did suggestive things before you placed the bet of $500. you thought no one would outbid you, after the last bid being $250. you bit your nails, watching the screen intently. “wow! $500 from…” the camboy leaned in with a squint, reading out your username. “queenofdiamonds222? that’s adorable.” he smiled, showing all of his beautiful pearly whites. your heart raced as he said your screen name out loud. you never thought he’d notice you, and although it was because of your bid, you still felt a rush of anxiety and excitement run through you.

five bids later, you finally decide to say fuck it. “god damn it.” you say after placing your final bit with an exhale, closing your eyes and leaning your head into your hands. it was the autobuy. you knew you shouldn’t have, but your need for knowing whether or not your favorite camboy was chishiya led you to this decision. it was a win/win in your head. on one hand, if he is chishiya shuntaro, you’re right and can potentially use it against him. if it’s not, you get a private session with the one and only k1ng0fd1am0nds. it wasn’t the most financially stable decision, but you had to do what you needed to. the camboy raised a brow in the middle of gripping his semi-hard cock, almost giving you the impression that he was getting off to people bidding money on him. his eyes focused on the screen before widening and letting out a breathy laugh.

“an autobuy from none other than queenofdiamonds222! wow, thank you so much. i- i honestly can’t believe it!” the video star’s voice was full of surprise, genuinely not thinking someone would dare spend that kind of money. “i guess there you have it. i’ll send you a friend request shortly, queen. as for everyone else, i’ll be doing another livestream later this week to take donations. i hope you all enjoyed, and have a splendid night.” with that, he was gone.

part of you felt relieved that you didn’t have to wait any longer. the other part? you could die on the spot. your heart was racing and your palms sweaty at the idea of meeting k1ng0fd1amond’s. although it wasn’t in person, the idea was still extremely anxiety inducing. a fwhip ding from your laptop distracted you from the nerve-wracking thoughts in your mind. it was a friend request from the one and only cam boy. you gulped deeply, hands shaking as you slid your fingers across your mousepad to accept. a few seconds later, a video call notification popped up on your screen from him. “fuck.” you whispered under your breath. “i can do this, i can do it. it’s fine.” you muttered, fixing your hair as if that would make a difference. you answered the call with your video camera still turned off.

k1ng0fd1amond’s face was plastered across your screen, a soft smile playing across his lips. “hello, my queen.” he greeted, leaning back to show off his toned torso. muffled r&b music played in the background of his video call, seemingly setting the mood. “now, as i said, you get this video call with me. however, it would make it much more interesting if i also got to see your face, considering i’m showing mine for the first time.” he leaned forward, mask still covering half of his face. his pretty chesnut-colored eyes were sheltered by long lashes, making his eyes look more sultry. “so, how about it?” the camboy quizzed and lifted his fingers to the edge of his mask as if he were to lift it at any moment.

you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. “okay.” you stated softly, reaching the mousepad with your hand and turning on your camera. you stared at him as your face popped up in the corner of the screen, slightly messy hair framing your face. you bit your lip out of anxiety, hoping nothing could go wrong. the cam boy paused, mouth open slightly as if he was examining your face. his eyes darted around, intently staring at the screen before smiling.

“this does, in fact, make things much more interesting.” his fingers delicately hovering over the edges of the mask finally grasped it and pulled it off. your heart nearly dropped out of your ass. all of your suspicions were proven at this moment as his face was uncovered.

chishiya sat there with his signature cocky grin, staring at you through the screen. it felt like you were also naked with how embarrassment flooded your entire body. “are you going to say anything, y/n? or are you just going to stare at me with your mouth open as if you want something inside of it?” his attitude was repulsive, but you couldn’t help but think back to how many times he’d gotten you off without even touching you. his voice, his eyes, the way he stroked himself… all of those things led to your own orgasm countless time. you clenched your jaw, pushing those thoughts aside for the time being.

“i knew it was you, i just needed to prove it.” your voice was shaky, and your breathing continued to become more unsteady.

“okay, so now you know it’s me. now what?” chishiya questioned, raising a brow and seeming unfazed. “you gonna tell the whole school that i’m an exhibitionist? that i take pleasure in knowing people watch me to get off, hmm?”

“n-no…” all of your confidence went out the window. “i just wanted to prove it to myself.” your answer was honest to an extent. you did want to use it against him, but that would be cruel. the perfect chishiya shuntaro, a cam boy. it would be hard for some to believe, but you knew that somehow it would benefit him.

“you paid all of this money, so do you want to get to it?” chishiya asked, cocking his head to the side and letting his hand slowly glide to his lower torso. you stared intently before looking back up at his face which was riddled with arrogance.

“get.. get to what?” you asked curiously, breath hitching in the back of your throat as you felt yourself start to get more turned on. although you truly despised him, he was still the camboy you admired dearly.

“you know exactly what i mean. you can still hate chishiya shuntaro, but don’t try to deny that i get you off better than anyone else could.” that statement from him earned a breathy and near-silent moan. you weren't even touching yourself and he’d already gotten you to the point of wanting to do indescribable things to yourself while listening to his voice. “see, that’s a good girl.” chishiya praised you for the noise you made, his voice dripping with confidence.

“i-i can’t. you’re… i-” words seemed to get stuck in the back of your throat with every sentence you tried to speak.

“and why not? you mean to tell me that you paid all of that money and are gonna let it go to waste, princess?” the nickname made you clench your jaw out of frustration, but not in the bad way. “you know you want to…” you watched his hands grip around his cock, getting harder with every word. you stared at the spot on his grey sweatpants that began to get soaked with his precum. “look at what you’re doing to me, y/n.”

nothing could’ve stopped you at this point. you placed your laptop towards the end of the bed and sat on your knees, unbuttoning your shirt that you’d worn to school earlier that day. you looked into the camera, heart racing and breath spiking with every button that was undone. your hands lingered on the last button before pulling off your shirt to reveal your pretty white lace bra. chishiya bit his lip, his hand gripping his dick and moving up and down the shaft slowly as if he was teasing himself. you could hear him stifle a moan as he watched you undress yourself.

“you’re so beautiful. i’m surprised you don’t show yourself off on camera.” that comment earned a small chuckle as you were finally down to your bra and panties. chishiya slid his grey sweatpants off to reveal a tented bulge in his boxers. his hands stroked the member at a slow and steady pace, as if he went any faster that he’d combust. you let out a soft groan at the sight, feeling yourself become wetter by the second. “lay down on your back. i want to see all of you.” chishiya ordered, becoming more flustered by the second.

you listened to his words as if they were controlling you, positioning yourself on your back to where he could see everything from the side. your eyes closed briefly before the nerves got to you. “chishiya, i-” you started before he quickly cut you off.

“i don’t want you to speak unless spoken to. the only things that should be coming out of your mouth besides moans are ‘yes, daddy’, ‘no, daddy’, and ‘thank you, daddy’. understood?” his words made you moan as your fingers lingered over your bra-covered breasts, touching yourself so lightly that it made you want more. you nodded, biting your lip and daring to look at the screen. chishiya was positioned to where you could see from his thighs to the top of his head. you took in the way his face stared intently at you with a lasting expression of lust. his toned torso moved in sync with his rapidly increasing breaths, and his hands were teasing the tip of his cock. the cam boy raised a brow, expecting you to answer.

”yes, daddy.” you replied nearly breathless. you couldn’t believe the state you were in with not having done anything yet. this reply garnered a genuine and lecherous smile.

“that’s my girl. now, take off your bra.” your hands didn’t hesitate to reach around and unclasp the device, taking off the undergarment in one swift motion. you awaited his next command as the cool air from your room made your nipples perk up. chishiya licked his lips. his movements on his girthy member becoming more steady with each stroke. “i want you to touch your nipples, softly. pinch them, tease them. show me how you touch yourself when you watch me.”

you did your best to push the embarrassment of knowing that chishiya knew you had gotten off to him countless times. the tips of your fingers came up and twirled your nipples, head leaning back into the bedsheets as you let out a soft gasp. you pinched them in between your fingertips, teasing them while replaying thoughts of him stroking his cock. “daddy…” you let out in a breathless moan. it was a plead for more, and you knew he wasn’t going to give it to you just yet.

your other hand came up and gripped your breast, squeezing it softly as you closed your eyes. your pussy tingled with anticipation and your hips bucked up slightly at the feeling. you wanted more. you needed more. your eyes opened as you turned your head to glance at him. chishiya was staring at you with lascivious eyes, almost as if they were imploring for more.

you slid your hands down, not caring that he only said to touch your nipples. you stuck your thumbs on the inside of your panties, glancing down at them for a moment before returning your eyes to him. his teeth tugging on his bottom lip was confirmation enough, leading you to pull your underwear completely off. chishiya followed suit, revealing his cock that was hidden behind his boxers. you’d seen it many times, but this one was different. it was so much more intimate knowing he, too, was watching you. his hands gripped the thick member, stroking it at a steady pace as he watched you unravel yourself for him.

“fuck, i fucking need you.” chishiya’s words were enough for you to bring one hand to your breast and slide the other down to your pussy in hopes of relieving some tension. “that’s a good fucking girl. keep going.” he ordered as moans left your mouth over and over, eyes fluttering back and forth. you imagined that instead of your fingers, it was chishiya’s stroking your sensitive and swollen clit. you wished it was him teasing at your nipples with his tongue instead of your own hands. the thought alone pushed you closer to the edge.

“chi!” you gasped, curling your fingers inside of yourself and watching him continue to speed up the movements on his cock. his hands were curled around his member, stroking at a fast pace while watching you touch yourself. the moans leaving his mouth were heavenly. thoughts of what they’d sound like as he was inside of you flooded your mind, making you speed up the pace of your fingers.

“keep going. fucking faster. that’s my good fucking girl. such a good toy for daddy.” chishiya muttered out of nothing more than lust. you obliged to his demands with a ‘yes, sir’, doing what he ordered as if you’d done it a million times.

you felt yourself getting closer to your orgasm. your hips bucked over and over as you continued to fuck yourself with your fingers, watching him pant and continue to stroke himself. “gonna cum for me?” chishiya asked in between melodious moans. you nodded intensely, squeezing your eyes shut as your felt your orgasm bubbling. “beg.” he ordered sternly, mouth opening as sweat rippled across his forehead.

“please, chishiya! please, daddy!” you begged, curling your toes and bucking your hips. you turned your head and dared to open your eyes and watch him. “please let me cum for you. please, daddy. i need to cum for you.” you pleaded as your release was closer than you could imagine. chishiya moaned deeply, speeding up his movements to match yours.

“cum for me. cum, you stupid fucking slut.” with his words, you felt your orgasm wash over and relieve you of any stress you’d built up. your moans rang through his speakers as you reached your release. looking over, you watched as he reached his orgasm, squirting his cum all over his torso. chishiya’s breathing was rapid and his eyes were closed. he brought a hand up and brushed his hair out of his face, leaning his head onto the pillow behind him. “fuck…” he said breathlessly.

“yeah…” you agreed with a stifled chuckle, closing your eyes and leaning further into the mattress. the real world creeped in slowly, persisting you to grab a shirt from the floor and put it on to cover up. chishiya did the same, grabbing his boxers and putting them on to cover himself after cleaning his release from off of his stomach. “so.” you said awkwardly, brushing your now messy hair behind your ear and positioning yourself to sit and face the camera.

“so?” chishiya asked curiously, a sweet smile curled on his lips with the singular word. he rolled his eyes and scoffed. “please don’t tell me you’re gonna make this awkward now.” you blushed, looking away and biting your lip out of anxiety.

“no, i just-” you began before shaking your head and looking down. you lifted your head shortly after to face him and begin again. “this never happened, okay?” the look of disappointment replaced his smile and he pursed his lips to the side. he nodded in agreement, mumbling a defeated ‘yeah’ while shaking his head.

“as you wish, my queen.” the name made you genuinely laugh, causing him to sit for a moment and admire you. you took a moment before regaining yourself, admiring him as well. his eyes were so beautiful, something you loved about him before knowing it was him. chishiya’s lips were so perfectly tuned for his face, as if god himself took his time to make sure he’d have a lovely smile and an even more lovely kiss. you shrugged the thoughts off and decided to call it here.

“bye, chishiya.” the voice was not meant to sound sad, but it came out as if you were slightly heartbroken. you didn’t want the fun to end, but you knew it was for the best. chishiya wasn’t your friend, nor your acquaintance. he was the star student of your college, a famous cam boy, and your academic rival. nothing about this would work. you sighed, content with knowing the answers you sought after in the first place.

“see ya later, y/n.” even his voice sounded sad, but in the same way as yours of knowing what’s best for each of you.

it had been two weeks since your escapade with chishiya and you’d been avoiding him the entire time. every time you seen him, whether it be in the cafeteria or the library, you immediately turned around to go the other way. he tried multiple times to give you a small wave but you couldn’t bear to think of the things you two did together.

the thoughts flooded your mind as your physics book was laid out in front of you, notes scattered across the table in the back of the near-empty library. it was 7pm on a friday, meaning everyone was either out partying or doing their own thing in their dorms. you, however, had to study immensely for your upcoming midterms. the thought alone made you groan and shove your head in your hands. “fuckin’ christ. i should just drop out.” you muttered dismissively, not wanting to study any longer.

“that’s not the attitude i’d expect from our future class president.” the words stung your ears as a familiar voice flooded them. you lifted your head slowly, eyes cautiously settling on chishiya who was watching you intently. your face flushed with a crimson blush after avoiding him for so long. he lifted his hand and did a small wave that you’d rejected many times before this meeting. “hi, y/n.”

“chishiya, i really don’t have time for this.” you stated in an annoyed and exhausted tone, beginning to close your books. he walked over slowly, grabbing at your wrist that was trying to put away the notes. chishiya closed the gap between you, leaning over and getting closer to your face. his eyes left yours for a moment to peer at your lips, only to look back up and smirk. you let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding and pulled your wrist away. he released a chortle, sitting close to you on the table where your scattered notes lay.

“c’mon. you don’t wanna talk to me?” chishiya questioned with a smile, shaking his head. “and after all we’ve been through…” he tsked, putting a hand over his heart. the blush that had since faded returned, making you turn your head away from him in attempts to hide it. chishiya noticed by the redness of your ears and without further hesitation grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. “what do you say we do it right here, right now?” a devilish grin was stuck on his face as he leaned in closer to you, almost as if he were to kiss you. your tongue left your mouth to lick your lips before he moved right past your face and went to your ear. the star student licked along the outskirts of your earlobes before breathily whispering. “i can feel how much you’re aching for me right now, sweetheart. tell me you want me to take you in this library for everyone to see.” a moan slipped from your mouth as the grip on your chin shifted to your throat, squeezing ever so slightly to arise a reaction from you. “don’t you wanna be a good girl for me, y/n?”

that phrase alone made you wiggle with anticipation, causing his mouth to leave your ear and look at you. his hand left your throat and rested on either side of you, positioned on the chair you were sitting at. chishiya’s eyes darted from your own to your lips, as if questioning if you really wanted to do this. your breathing was steadily increasing, as was your heart rate. part of you wanted to say no, to leave immediately. but you were desperate for him. you needed him to devour you like an animal. before you could say no, your body produced a nod for chishiya.

his hands left the chair and instantaneously connected with your jaw again, closing the space between you and engulfing your lips into a kiss. your hand wrapped around his wrist, nudging it down as if begging him to put it around your throat. chishiya smiled into the kiss and did as you requested, gripping your neck just enough to cut off the blood flow and send a rush to your head once he let go. the bliss of his tongue entering your mouth and intertwining with your own made you moan into his mouth, scooting closer to the edge of the chair to be more near him. chishiya took this as a sign to further things as he lifted your body off of the chair , still locked in the kiss, and move you to the table. pages of your notes fluttering across the floor with the swift movement. you wrapped your legs around his waist, deeping the kiss by pulling his head closer. the feeling of his hardening cock behind his white joggers against your own sweatpants made a moan escape your vocal chords into his mouth. chishiya pulled away from the kiss and moved the chair you’d previously been sitting in to settle himself on his knees. you raised a brow, confused by his actions. “chishiya?”

a fiendish grin made its way onto his lips as he placed his thumbs through the waistband of your sweatpants and tugged them down along with your underwear. “i don’t want you to speak unless spoken to. the only things that should be coming out of your mouth besides moans are ‘yes, daddy’, ‘no, daddy’, and ‘thank you, daddy’. understood?” the familiar words made you lose your breath as you remembered the moments from a week ago. you nodded hastily and let him continue. “atta girl.” chishiya praised before kissing up your thighs, gripping them with a steady pressure on either side. his mouth found its way to your stomach by sliding your shirt up, lifting himself up ever so slightly to reach your nipples. he looked up at you with his dark chocolate eyes before immersing your the sensitive buds into his mouth, sucking on them with no hesitation. his teeth bit them gingerly, continuing to suckle at them as he did so. chishiya moved to the other side and continued to do the same thing before moving on, lips interchanging between peppering kisses down your torso and fellating the skin there.

his movements continued until he was face to face with your pussy. a deep breath exhaling from him caused you to buck your hips, in search of some sort of contact. you bit your lip at the unconscious act of desperation that your body performed. you never expected to be so submissive in the presence of chishiya shuntaro. his eyes locked with yours before licking up the sides of your folds, tasting in the sweet juices that had trickled out. you leaned on one arm and used the other one to cover your mouth with your hand. even though you knew no one was in the library, you couldn’t imagine getting caught in this position right now.

chishiya continued to explore you with his mouth, licking along everywhere except where you needed him most. “chi- daddy…” you corrected yourself quickly, before continuing. “daddy, please. i-” his eyes focused in on you, darkening as you continued to speak in stuttered breaths. “i need you, chishiya.” those words were like a switch in his brain as he began to devour every piece of you his tongue could reach. you did your best to withhold the sounds of pleasure that dared to escape your mouth as he suckled at your extremely sensitive clit. chishiya’s tongue made its way up and down your folds before settling on your clit, nibbling it ever so slightly. the explicit noises he made ellicited a deep moan from you, causing chishiya to groan into your pussy. before you knew it, you were being filled by not one, but two, of chishiya’s fingers. a loud whimper made its way out of your mouth. you gave up leaning on your arm and gave way to laying down fully on the table, squeezing your thighs around chishiya’s warm face. the pressure against your sweet spot combined with the movements of his tongue had you seeing stars.

“cum.” chishiya commanded out of nowhere., muffled by your wet cunt. you hadn’t realized the feeling of your orgasm creeping up on you before he’d said something. not responding in a proper enough time frame from him, he got up and leaned over the table, fingers still working at your g-spot. “i said cum, you pathetic whore. cum for me.” his hand went over your mouth as he kept bullying your insides with his middle and ring finger. “look at me.” chishiya demanded. the look on his face and his continuous movements led you to your orgasm, slick juices covering his hands as he slowed his pace down. your erratic breathing elicited a smirk from him, the signature, cocky smirk. he removed the hand covering your mouth and replaced it with the fingers that were inside of you, which you gladly and hastily licked clean. “what a good fuckin’ girl. now say ‘thank you, daddy’.”

“thank you, daddy.” you replied breathlessly, still coming down from the high of having an orgasm by his hands.

chishiya leaned in and kissed you, his tongue slowly making its way to ravage your mouth and selfishly steal the taste of your juices from you. suddenly, he pulled away with a familiar devilish grin. “now, should i give you what you want, or should i fuck your face like you’re my own personal fleshlight?” the vulgar words made your face hot with embarrasment, but you didn’t care anymore. you just wanted him, in any way you could have him.

“whatever you want, daddy. anything for you.” you responded in a sultry tone, wanting nothing more than to please him at this moment. chishiya’s lips curled into a smile as he pulled you to the edge of the table, making you sit up.

“knees. now.” those two words sent chills down your spine as you moved to listen to him. you looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, giving him an innocent facial expression even though he ate you out like he’d been starving for days. chishiya chuckled, pulling his sweatpants down enough for his cock to bounce out from the restraint of the clothing. “look at you,” he began with a hand on your jawline, running his thumb across your chin and up to your lips. he pulled your bottom lip down with his fingertips, eliciting you to open your mouth. chishiya’s spare hand was stroking his member at a painfully slow pace, precum dripping onto the floor. you took his thumb into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and closing your eyes before opening them and making eye contact. “you’re such a pretty fucking slut, y/n.” he took his thumb out of your mouth and continued to stroke your jawline, eyes never leaving yours. a smirk took over his face before he pulled his hand back and landed a slap on your face, just enough to move your head but not enought to hurt you. “open that slutty mouth of yours, yeah?”

you made an opening with your mouth for him, continuing to stare up into his hazel eyes. chishiya used his hand to move his member and hit it against your cheek, making a light slapping noise from the contact. he moved the tip to your lips, rubbing the dripping precum against them before slowly entering his dick inside of your mouth. he let out a deep moan as you continued to take him inside of your mouth, flattening your tongue as to rub it against the underside of his shaft. chishiya’s soft palms grasped at either side of your face, fingers tangling in the hair that he could grasp. he started off slow, pulling his cock out to the tip and moving back in, doing the same again but only taking half out this time. you mustered up the confidence you could to not gag and pull off of him. suddenly, he began to fuck your face fiercely. chishiya shoved all the way in to your mouth with each thrust at a steady, quick pace. he was desperate to feel you around him, gripping your hair harder with each thrust and letting moans go with each time you’d gag around him. “s’fuckin good.” he praised while moving a hand to clench your hair into a ponytail. he used his free hand to lean on the table behind him while he thrusted into your mouth. the sounds coming from his mouth could’ve made the heaven’s cry by how lovely they were. you closed your eyes, focusing on breathing through your nose and whimpering with every harsher thrust chishiya delivered. the feeling of his cock riding in and out of your mouth so recklessly made you wish it was inside of you instead.

all too soon, he pulled his cock out of your mouth and grabbed you by your arms to place you on the table. “need you. now.” chishiya stated frantically, kissing you in between sentences. his hand made it’s way to your folds, entering two fingers in suddenly and curling to hit your sensitive spot a few times before pulling them out almost as quickly as they were inside. he grabbed his girthy cock, positioning it in front of your pussy and sliding it along the slit. a breathy ‘fuck’ escaped his lips before he shoved it in without warning. you leaned on one arm, your free hand covering your mouth to prevent a scream from escaping as he pounded into you at full speed. you could tell he needed this.

chishiya thrusted into you over and over again, continuing to defile your insides with his cock. you bucked your hips in sync with him as his hands gripped your waist, pulling you onto him more with each thrust. you felt like you were drunk or high, as if you were in a haze. your thoughts were incoherent as he started plowing in and out of your cunt, merciless by accident with how roughly he moved— not that you were complaining, quite the opposite with how hard it was to keep quiet inside of this empty public library. sounds of desperate moans and skin on skin filled the room. chishiya seemed determined to make you cream around his cock in a way that would make you completely forget everything but the image of him on top of you on this table. a groan slipped from your lips, making you arch your back as he hit the sweet spot inside of you. “be quiet.” chishiya grunted, moving your hand from your mouth and letting it fall onto the table to support you. he replaced your own hand by shoving two fingers in your mouth. you happily obliged to this filling, sucking on his fingers and whimpering around them as he relentlessly thrusted.

between incoherent pleads for more around his fingers and breathless moans, you felt your orgasm drawing closer with each time he entered you. a bubbly feeling was growing by the second, and your expressions of pleasure soon heightened in pitch. “d-daddy… ‘m close!” the broken words escaped your mouth as soon as he removed his fingers from your mouth to return to your hips in hopes of somehow bringing himself deeper into you, although being already balls deep. “that’s it, cream all over my cock.” chishiya’s fingers immediately went for your clit, fingertips circling the swollen and sensitive bud to send you over the edge.

between the clenching of your walls closing around him from your high releasing and the thrusts continuing at full force, his orgasm followed suit. his beautiful, low moans filled your ears as he emptied his load inside of you, the thick liquid slowly coming out your hole and spilling onto the table as he continued to thrust slowly while he hit his high. chishiya stopped moving his hips eventually, leaning his chin to rest on your shoulder. you both were a panting mess and the library was extremely dark. he pulled out with a wince at how sensitive he was before pulling up his boxers and sweatpants. he helped you off the table, legs still shaking from the exchange. you leaned into him, pulling your own sweatpants up and tightening them around your waist. you looked up into his eyes. they were glassy and still full of lust, but still beautiful. “let me walk you to the dorms.” chishiya said, more of a statement than a question. you inhaled deeply and nodded, not having the energy to tell him you could go alone.

chishiya helped you pack your things into your bag before you both left the library, eyeing the one old lady sitting at the desk who seemed to be oblivious to everything happening around her. she had an old headset on and seemed to be reading a very thick book. you both shook your head simultaneously and headed out the door towards the dorms.

after a few minutes walking in silence, you decided to speak up. “y’know this doesn’t change anything, right?” you quizzed, looking straight ahead so as not to look at his face. chishiya’s familiar chuckle flooded your ears as he nodded.

“i figured. you’re very stubborn.” he joked, playfully pushing you to the side. you laughed in return and returned to your original position on the sidewalk next to him. “however,” he began, making your ears perk up. you looked over at chishiya who had a devilish grin. “you don’t always have to watch me on camera. you could join me, too…”

[inerizaki]

I'll eat your pa- what!?

Your boyfriends get caught by you.

First fic guys pls be nice 🤓.

Threesome, sakuatsu x reader, nsfw, panty stealing (?), cum eating, spit, Dom reader, subby sakuatsu, handjob, begging

It has been 2 weeks. 2 weeks going to sleep alone. 2 weeks of annoyed excuses from your boyfriends.

Today would be no different...

"Baby we're just tired..." Atsumu sighed, and Kiyoomi wasn't even opening his mouth, going through his routine in silence. You swore you felt a vein pop on your forehead.

"Yeah? Poor you. How tired?"

Atsumu sighs, not having the energy to put you with your anger right now.

"Very, why are you being --" his sentence cuts off short as he sees the garment hanging off your fingertips. Even kiyoomi who had been intent on not interacting to save his strength, had spotted it and was gulping heavily.

"Tired enough to spoil my panties?" Several things ran through Atsumu's mind at a breakneck speed, none of them helpful as he felt the most embarrassing blush up his face. "Hey... Um... I can explain" atsumu starts.

Your face was deadpanned. If people thought kiyoomi was the resting bitch face in your relationship, they didn't look at you well enough.

"they were my favourite pair you know" you pout and flop on the armchair in your living room. *Shit* *fuck* he should have known. You were the last person to get mad at them for their ungodly practices. You had your practices. You were also an athlete. There was no way this would have pissed you off, he should have known better.

As he thinks about his last words, he notices how sweaty you are. You must have just finished your practice too... Your bangs were sticking to your forehead, your legs manspreading and the prettiest flush on your face. *THIS ISN'T HELPING* he told his brain.

Kiyoomi had completely abandoned his daily ritual of setting his kitbag neatly in its place, instead, he was standing behind Atsumu, trying to hide. As if his 6'4 self would be able to. He looked sheepish behind his mask and you knew already. "Ye-yes babe wait...It was just.. you were so tired and ... We didn't -" your eyebrow raises, "me .. tired..." You slowly repeat what he said, and lord, Atsumu knew he was so fucked.

He knew the only way to ask for your forgiveness was to beg for it. So with his thighs still sore from practice, he sits in front of you, on his heels. He hears Kiyoomi behind him and immediately knows he's following suit, his mask dangling off of one ear.

They weren't looking up at you as much, being as tall as they were, but it was enough. Kiyoomi's pale face was also flushed as he was avoiding your gaze. You were sitting on the armchair, legs still spread and arms crossed as you regarded them. Omi had the insane thought that *the yakuza should be glad she never wants anything to do with violence*.

"so?" You ask them, eyes levelled as they look down on both Atsumu and Omi. Atsumu gulps again, his voice cracking as he starts, "Baby it's just... You had finally.. just got a break after a while and it didn't seem fair..." You scoff, "Spare me that bullshit, either it was a kink you didn't tell me about or you just didn't want to deal with me. Which one is it?" This time your question was aimed at Omi, who was shifting his feet.

Omi knew it was useless lying to you, you already saw through the whole act anyway, but still... For his dignity... "It's not like that it just happened -" he sees the beginning of a snarl form...

When Omi doesn't say anything, you sigh, "I can't believe you tried lying to my face." He looks at you through his lashes again and looks back down, the red getting deeper."I'm upset you know." When Atsumu hears those words he starts to crawl to you on his hands and knees, "Hey don't be like-" he gets stopped in his tracks with the balls of your foot on his forehead. Atsumu gulps, it was an uncomfortable position to be in, not to mention he could see your skirt lift, and he made every effort possible not to look.

You laugh coldly, "WOW, even after the stunt you just pulled you're still thinking about my panties? That's kinda pathetic Tsum." He felt the knot in his chest unwind a little at the use of his nickname coming back but he wouldn't be off the hook so soon.

Omi, on the other hand, had been looking at you both from the corner of his eye... He could see Atsumu's tent in his shorts.. and felt the mortifying realization that he was getting one too."I'll let you look if you ask real nice mmkay?" You tell Atsumu with faux sympathy dripping from your voice. He closes his eyes, takes a few breaths and says... "Please.. baby can I look?" That earns a catlike smile from you. "See wasn't that hard was it?" You shift your foot from the centre of his forehead to place your heel there instead, giving him plenty of space to stare. You turn to Omi now, watching his breathing get shallow and eyes get heavy-lidded.

"nothing to say, Omi?" You purr, but the expression on your face is as stoic as ever. "What would you like me to say?" He asks as levelled as he can, his breath betraying him at every word. Atsumu, clearly not having had enough of your attention, whines. "H-hey cmon.." you turn to look at him, his eyes defiantly looking up at you.

"Stop... Pay attention to me" he pouts. Fucking pouts. "You just had your turn being humiliated and yer asking for more?" You ask dryly. He nods his head, the heel still on his forehead bobbing up and down. You let out a breath of *fine* and travel your foot down until he reaches the growing tent in his shorts and you apply the slightest pressure.

You see him open his mouth in a silent gasp and throw his head back. You turn back to Omi, "Now what was I saying?" Omi looks back at you, clearly dazed, but manages to say "You were saying why you were upset with us". You click your tongue, "Ah right, see I am not even *that* mad about you both doing this, rather I'm mad about the fact that I've been lonely for 2 weeks and the one time you could have involved me, you didn't."

Omi nods, like a schoolboy taking a scolding. "I understand" he gasps out, but it wasn't enough to satisfy you. "And you also chose my favourite panties, care to explain why?" He thinks.. one more try couldn't hurt right? "We just.. took the first one on the pile" another twitch of your upper lip. "No ... You chose them because they had the most slick on them.. don't lie again. Am I not right?" *Fuck* there goes that.

You apply more pressure on Atsumu, and he gasps out, "Mhmm you're right fuck you're right". Your head tilts to the side, and Omi admits "Ye-yes.. it was because they had... The slickest..." He choked out the words. How the fuck did he end up here. "say it kiyoomi" Omi takes a deep breath steeling himself, "Yes, you're right we took those because .. you wear them often and they have the most... Slick on them" he breathes out.

Your cheek's resting against your curled up palm and you tap the finger of your other on your thigh. "You know what is even slicker?" You felt Atsumu's breath hitch, and another shot of shame blow through Omi. "What has...?" You roll your eyes. "Me you idiot. And maybe if you had thought things through I would have been nice" you eye Atsumu.

Now Omi not only had to deal with him LIKING being treated like this, he also had to deal with him being JEALOUS over Atsumu being treated worse but still being jealous ." are you that upset...?" Omi tests the waters, using his best pleading voice and puppy face, all of it shot down by you grumbling, "I'm not even going to answer that right now" your arms crossing across your chest.

Omi's heart drops as he hears your response. He didn't think it would get this far, to be honest, he hadn't been thinking at all. He also starts to crawl towards you, and you let him, much to Atsumu's disbelief. You press down on him a bit harder before he can argue. Omi makes it to your thigh, his chin resting on it as he looks up at you through his coal lashes and says in the prettiest voice "I'm sorry bunny... I didn't mean to upset you I wasn't thinking, Please forgive me?" He swore he could see your eyes darken.

You tilt your gaze towards Atsumu, your face not moving. To his credit he immediately gets the hint and whines "Yeah I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that I'm sorry I neglected you like that please forgive me?" You remove your foot on top of his hard dick and he almost stumbles forward crawling to you, placing his chin on your knee just like Omi. They look like a pair of puppies, pathetic and cute.

"you'd think just because I'm tired, which I wasn't by the way.. you didn't ask, I wouldn't help you" They could sense the genuine hurt on your face now, and sink their chins even deeper, looking up at you apologetically. "no... You would have" Atsumu says, his gaze running from yours. You were cruel, but you didn't have the heart to be cruel to both of your boyfriends kneeling in front of you.

You sigh and motion them upwards, and they quickly take the chance to nuzzle into your neck, still whispering favoured apologies and words of devotion, all of them muddling to kisses and hickeys. Barely able to breathe between them, you pull them closer through the waistbands of their shorts. They know better than to protest and let you manoeuvre them until they're looking down on you. Their palms are on the top of the armchair's back, holding on to support as they feel their calves burn from the position.

You palm their bulges, and immediately they shudder. "Pull shit like this again and I'll lock you both in chastity cages" you snarl up at them. Their eyes widen at the threat, feeling even more blood rush to their dicks. "Are ya serious?" Atsumu asks his abs relaxing and contract. You raise an eyebrow, "You tryna find out pretty boy?" Both of them shake their heads vigorously.

You decide to show them mercy, freeing their dicks from their shorts and starting to pump them after you spit on them. They lean into you, groaning and whining. Atsumu has always been a blabber in bed, but it was a pleasant surprise to see Kiyoomi moan and whine. You wished you could record them and avoid you could have it in repeat for days.

"You both beg so pretty," you tell them and they *preen*, back arching to you. The most pathetic whines and begs, you didn't expect them to be this wound up after yesterday's stunt. They start getting more high-pitched pitched and before you can prepare yourself, ropes of white paint your face and neck, making you scrunch your face.

Atsumu has his face against the back of the armchair, Omi swaying back and forth, his entire body the prettiest of flushes. "you're both too spent to clean me up?" You ask while licking your upper lip. Immediately rejuvenated, Atsumu is the first to throw his arms around you and start licking your face and neck, anything to make you forgive them, anything you say.

Omi is slower but more thorough, he has your face in a firm grip as he laps up all the cum off your face, kissing and dragging his lips across your neck. The saltiness of your sweat was mixed with their cum and Omi couldn't get enough.

"I can't believe you tried to act all aloof in front of me.. as if that would work when I know what you looked like licking the sweat off my face... Hmm Omi chan?" You teased and he couldn't even complain, he was just glad to not be the subject of your cold gaze.

When they're both done, they look up at you, their faces back on your lap. You swore you could feel their invisible tail wagging behind them. You wipe off the spit across your cheek and say, "Well then .. if you're not too tired. you could help me clean up the slick on these panties?" You coyly lift your skirt. And who would they be to deny you of such a request?

[skzskzskzskzskzskzskz]

【ｂｅｓｔ　ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ．】

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚pairing: bangchan x reader ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖summary: you're too late in confessing to your childhood best friend, even though you've been in love with him for the past 5 years. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚warnings/genre: college au, unrequited love, angst, includes use of (y/n) ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖notes: this is my first fic ever pls spare me.. also english isnt my first language so there might be grammar issues and stuff and this is not proofread bc im lazy af !! link to part 2: click here. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you loved him. it was clear, but everyone always though you were like siblings. "(y/n)!", bangchan excitedly greeted you as he saw you in the hallway. "channie!!", you replied, trying to match his energy. "how are you? still sick?" "nope, i'm good now, you?" "when i'm with my favorite girl? always." he teased. you wished he wasn't joking. "channie!" saki's voice echoed through the halls as she greeted bangchan. right, his girlfriend. sometimes you just block her from your memory. you hated her. you hated everything about her. you felt bad, honestly. saki had never done anything wrong, but that was the problem. she was nice, and smart, and she wasn't just pretty. she was drop-dead gorgeous. everyone loved her, and you couldn't blame them. saki was everything that you couldn't be. she took everything from you. she took him. "hey babyy!", bangchan replied to his girlfriend as they hugged and he gave her a soft peck on the lips. "(y/n), hii how are you?", she offered after the hug. "hey saki, i'm doing pretty good, thanks for asking.", you replied back, not bothering to ask her how she was.

with that, the bell rang and the three of you got to class. that was what happened every day ever since they started dating. everyday, you had to watch the love of your life as he hugged and kissed a girl. every day, you had to watch him hug and kiss a girl that wasn't you. of course it wasn't you. you were a coward, always too scared to confess, thinking that it would ruin your friendship. but every day, you held back your feelings. that was what ruined your friendship. "y/n, what the fuck is wrong with you?" "you don't know how hard it is to watch someone you love, and have loved, for the past 5 years, together with another girl. because you get everything you want. you always get everything you want. but i want you.", you cried.

"don't get me started o-" "channie, please. i just thought that you deserved to know that your childhood best friend is desperately in love with you, is that a fucking crime now?." "do you not hear yourself? (y/n), how do you not understand how problematic the shit you're saying and doing is?" "i just-" "i don't want to hear it. get out." "what?" "i said get out. leave." "fine. fuck you, bangchan." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: what did i js make.. the second hand embarrassment i got while writing this was wild but i did it! my first fic!! lets gaurr also im probably gonna regret everything abt this fic in the future but wtv

[vilefiction]

› featuring: Camboy!College Student!Satoru Gojo + Fem!Reader

› word count: 9,052 words

› synopsis: Satoru Gojo is the star student of your college. He's handsome, athletic, and everyone around can't seem to get enough of him. You, however, completely despised him. He wasn't just your academic rival, but your least favorite person.

During a meeting for student council, you listen carefully to what Satoru has to say. Then and only then did it click: his voice, those eyes, the way the corner of his lips curl… he is the camboy you watch in your free time! When you get a notification on your phone for a bidding livestream, you're intrigued. It was an auction hosted by none other than ch0sen0ne. The prize? A private cam date with him, orgasm included.

› rating: nsfw, +18

› cw: vulgar language, mutual masturbation on camera, rivals who fuck, dominant!gojo, face slapping, oral sex (f), facefucking (m), submissive!reader, degradation (whore, slut, being called a toy), calling satoru sir, pet names (sweetheart), slight praise (good girl), public sex in a library, creampie, somewhat rough sex

› setting: college au (no curses or jujutsu sorcery)

⤷ paw's note: hiii! this is my first fic i've written in a while! i'm so excited to publish this and i really hope you all enjoy it. i originally wrote this on a different blog and for a different character but wanted to make a comeback with this one. i had a lot of fun writing it so i hope you all enjoy it just as much. anyways, this isn't proofread so if there's mistakes, pls ignore them. love u byeee xoxo

It was a familiar feeling for you. The feeling of getting off to his voice, to the way his lips curl into a blissful smirk whenever he touched himself on camera. He was your favorite cam boy to watch after a stressful day of college classes.

You let out a deep and shaky breath, reaching for the small towel beside your bed to wipe your hand of the juices that covered your fingers. Your heart was still racing from your orgasm and your breathing was slowly but surely returning to a normal pace. Your brain was foggy from the quick orgasm, but despite the short time it still felt like one of the best ones so far. Of course, you said that every time you watched his show and came to him.

“I hope you all enjoyed my show. I’ll be doing another livestream in a few days so make sure to turn my notifications on. Thank you for tuning in and have a splendid night.” His sultry and noticeably softer voice made you turn your head towards your computer screen, admiring how pretty his pink lips looked in the camera. Even though you could only see from his nose down, you knew that he was handsome. There was no doubt about it. No number of masks and camera angles could hide how attractive he was. It was no surprise that he had so many viewers watching him get off using various toys and methods. Not only that, but people paying for these toys, and for him to touch himself how they wanted him to. You wished you had more money to spare, to see him get off in a way that you desired. Unfortunately, being a college student didn’t give you the ability to spend your extra income on some popular camboy.

To say you were sexually frustrated was an understatement. You never thought you’d get to a point in your life where you would have notifications for a camboy set so that you wouldn’t miss his show. You shook your head and laid down, opening your emails to see if any of your professors had sent anything important out.

Just as you had thought, a new email was sitting at the top of your inbox. You rolled your eyes, closing them and laying your head back further into the pillow. School wasn’t difficult for you, more so tiring than anything else. You couldn’t wait for it to be over, and as a senior, you were so excited to graduate with a degree in the spring and start your life.

Your fingers glided across your screen and opened the email titled ‘School Government Meeting’. It was nothing more than a reminder of the meeting for tomorrow. You groaned, rubbing your eyes with one hand before realizing it was the hand you got off with and quickly removing it. What would the student body have to say if they knew their future class president was getting off to a camboy, you wondered. That thought alone made your face grimace into a snarl.

You set your alarms for the morning and plugged your phone in before turning the bedside lamp off and snuggling into bed with your stuffed animal. Your brain created thoughts of the camboy and what he looked like. You’ve only seen his beautiful blue eyes and plump lips, amongst other explicit body parts. You could feel the blush creep onto your face as you slowly fell asleep, wondering what his hands would feel like in replacement of your own instead.

The morning of the school meeting came sooner than you would have liked. It was prior to all of your classes, which eased the anxiety that you would’ve had if it had been at the end of the day.

Getting out of bed, you decided to look somewhat professional today. Instead of the usual tee-shirt and sweatpants combo, you went for something more work casual: a pair of black bellbottom slacks and a white button up with your favorite light wash jean jacket. You topped the outfit off with your signature white converse and headed out the door, leaving early to get breakfast from the school cafeteria.

It was a nice day outside. The sun was shining enough to warm you while the cool wind was blowing. You smiled to yourself, putting in some headphones while you walked to the student center where the cafeteria was located. Your head nodded to the beat of the songs on your playlist. while lost in the music, you realized one thing: you left your bag at the dorm. All the blood rushed from your face and turned you pale. Part of you wanted to run back and get it, while the other part of you knew that you’d be late for the school council meeting. You groaned to yourself, rubbing your eyes and carrying on with your walk. You decided it was best to be late for your first class rather than the meeting. In the process, you also realized that meant you didn’t have your wallet either. Skipping breakfast was the only option now.

As you arrived at the student center, you headed straight to the library where the meeting was going to be held. You were about twenty minutes early due to not getting breakfast, which was fine with you. You went inside and decided to peer around the bookshelves to see if there was anything interesting.

While looking through the books in the medical sciences section, one in particular caught your eye. You lifted it off of the shelf and examined the cover that read ‘Anatomy of the Human Body for Dummies. The title made you have to stifle a laugh. You’d hoped to yourself that anyone who was reading this wasn’t a pre-med major. You took your headphones out of your ears and put them back into their case before placing it into your jacket pocket.

As you looked through the contents of the book, a familiar voice brought you back to reality. It sounded very similar to someone you knew, but who? Your eyes left the pages to meet with the eyes of the one and only, Satoru Gojo. You did your best to not immediately roll your eyes after making contact with his, closing the book you had and holding it against your chest. “Can I help you?” You quizzed, attitude seeping through your words as a faux smile placed itself on your lips. It made him chuckle as he leaned himself against the bookshelf with his arms crossed. Anyone could tell that he was an arrogant prick by the way he carried himself. You couldn’t understand why so many teachers and students alike were enamored with him.

“I said, hi Y/N. Is it so wrong of me to greet one of my fellow classmates?” The rhetorical question made you want to roll your eyes again, but you didn’t. You knew it would only instigate him further. Satoru’s eyes moved from yours to the book in your hands. “Anatomy of the human body… for dummies? That’s a perfect book for the likes of you.”

Your eyes widened and you shoved the book back onto the shelf with a scoff. You didn’t have the time to deal with his snarky attitude at eight-thirty in the morning. As you walked away, you felt a hand grab at your arm. You quickly pulled it away and turned to face him, only to reveal that the gap between you both had closed in. You could feel Satoru’s breath on your face, and the scent of his light cologne was in the air. It was nearly repulsive. “Hey, hey. I didn’t mean it, sweetheart. You know I was jo-”

“Don’t call me that.” You cut him off before he could finish his sentence. His cocky smile turned to that of a feigned frown, a finger lifting to just below his eye being dragged down to simulate a tear falling. It took everything in you to not smack the look right off of his face. “What do you want anyways? Shouldn’t you be at volleyball practice or tutoring some girl who’s fawning over you?” You questioned in a sarcastic tone, turning towards the bookshelf to avoid looking at him any longer. Your fingers scanned over the bindings of the books; the indentions of the letters being grazed by your hand. “Or better yet,” You began with the same sarcasm exuding from each word. “Don’t you have some teachers to kiss ass to?” Your eyes lifted from the bookshelf to meet with his, a hand leaving the books to rest on your hip as you faced him this time. An eyebrow raised in question to further show how irritated you were with his presence. Satoru scoffed, holding a hand over his heart to seem hurt.

“Now why would I do that?” The white-haired man retorted back, seeming slightly annoyed with the rudeness you were giving him. “Y’know, I don’t really understand why you don’t like me.” That statement earned a small chuckle from you as you leaned more into the hand resting on your hip. Satoru crossed his arms, returning to the stance he had against the bookshelf earlier. “I don’t get it, honestly. I’m kind, athletic, intelligent… what is there not to like, Y/N?” He probed, using his fingers to count off each adjective as he spoke.

Satoru was somewhat right. He was a star student and the talk of the college. His grades were as perfect as they could be. He was extremely talented when it came to volleyball and helped his team win almost every game. Not to mention, Satoru was the opposite of unattractive, leaving half of the female population at school that knew of him to be head over heels. There wasn’t much to not like about him. Except one little thing.

“Your attitude.” You answered, honestly at that. It was nearly immediate. Satoru raised an eyebrow at your statement. You took a deep breath and then sighed. “Everything about you seems real, but it isn’t. You think you’re the king of the world and you’re not. I could go into detail and would love to express the multitude of ways I think you’re a phony, but I won’t waste my breath. Just know that you’re not who you make yourself out to be, and that’s what makes you so unlikeable.” A genuine look of confusion and concern was plastered across his face as you spoke. You shook your head and turned to leave the star student and the stressful conversation behind.

You checked your phone as you walked away and went to go sit at the table the email told you to meet at. With five minutes left, you decided to spend it looking through your Instagram feed. The door to the library opens and a few people in your year come in. You greet them with a smile and a little wave. “Hey!” You say to your classmate, Iori, who then sits next to you. She returns the smile as the rest gather around the table inside of the library. “You ready for the meeting?” You asked her. Your anxiety for the meeting about to happen continued to rise, but her presence alone begins to stifle it.

“Yeah, and no. I just really wanna get it over with so I can go to class and see Professor Shoko!” Iori leans toward you while dragging out the professor’s name. You rolled your eyes and giggled a bit before looking around. Your eyes landed on Satoru who was standing close to the table, yet again leaned up against a bookshelf as if it was his signature position. This time, however, he was reading a book off of the shelf next to him. As if he was reading your mind, his eyes slowly lifted from the pages to meet yours. A smirk danced across his lips as he made contact with your eyes, making you turn back to Iori who was now talking about what she had for breakfast.

Mr. Higuruma, the head instructor for the student council, came through the door of the library. A sigh of relief left your lungs as you could finally get Satoru Gojo out of your head by concentrating on the meeting.

The meeting went on as usual, until a familiar and annoying voice decided to speak up. “Uhm, sir. I thought I’d mention that I’m also here because I wanted to run for class president. I wasn’t able to attend the last meeting, unfortunately, so I hope that I can still apply.”

All the blood that was in your face had left at this point. You couldn’t believe it— actually, you could. This is exactly the kind of thing he would do. Satoru would have the nerve to come in and ruin everything you’d planned for. The voice of Mr. Higuruma brought you back down from the thoughts clouded in your head as you listened to what he had to say. “That is unfortunate, but considering today is the deadline you still have time to be put on the ballot. Lucky you.” Mr. Higuruma let out a slight chuckle as he wrote some things down on the clipboard in his hand.

Your stomach churned at the idea of having to run against someone that nearly the entire school and staff was head over heels for. You knew you had no chance and would have to pull strings if you even wanted to try your luck at becoming president of the graduating class after this. All of these thoughts were racing through your head at once and you started to feel light-headed, although it could be because of the lack of sustenance in your stomach as well.

“Splendid. Thank you, Mr. Higuruma.” Satoru responded happily.

But… that word. Splendid. Your mind couldn’t understand why that single word in his voice sounded so familiar, as if you’d heard it over and over again.

Until it hit you.

The flashbacks from every time you’d watched ch0sen0ne’s cam. Every single time he logged off, he would say ‘have a splendid night’. You wondered why Satoru’s voice in your ear earlier sounded all-too familiar and it hit you. But could he be…? No, he couldn’t be the same person. You rejected the idea completely and pushed it in the back of your head to be locked away.

Before you knew it, Iori nudging your ribs brought you back to reality. You came to the realization that you’d been staring at Satoru this entire time, who was returning the stare with a grin on his face. You shook your head, moving a strand of hair behind your ear before focusing back on the conversation at hand. “So, Mr. Gojo, what is your goal as president?” Mr. Higuruma asked with a plain yet curious tone of voice.

“Before I, hopefully, become president, I want to raise funds for a senior activity of some kind. I think it would be nice to get all of my senior peers together for one last outing before finals, y’know? I know that it would definitely help relieve the stress off of some of the students, me included.” Satoru answered with a smile, glancing at you ever so often. It made you want to puke. Satoru continued to go on about his goals, but your mind was doing its best to completely dissociate from the meeting at hand.

After zoning out for most of the meeting, trying to retain some of your sanity, you finally managed to get through it. “See ya later, Y/N! Try not to worry too much. You’re going to be a great prez.” Iori reassured with a smile, waving you off. You smiled back halfheartedly and headed to your first class of the day with a pain in your head and a pain in your ass.

You finally made it back to your dorm and immediately flopped onto your bed, face down into the pillow. A pillow-muffled groan left your mouth as you recalled the events of today. You really couldn’t believe the audacity of Satoru Gojo, and you really couldn’t get his voice out of your head. No, not his voice: the camboy, ch0sen0ne’s voice. You rolled over onto your back, chucking your shoes onto the floor by pulling them at the heel. A ding from your phone distracted you, with that set tone being the indicator it was from your favorite camboy. You didn’t even want to think about him. He was the one thing that brought you some sort of happiness and relaxation on your worst days, and it was ruined by the one and only Satoru. You grimaced before picking up your phone and reading the notification.

ch0sen0ne: “Hello, my lovely watchers. I will be holding an auction to raise funds for something very dear to me. The prize? A private cam session with me, orgasm included. Tune in tomorrow night to join in on the bidding, or to simply watch me come undone. Have a splendid night.”

You groaned in annoyance and let out a deep breath that you didn’t even realize you were holding in. Everything that was happening is all too coincidental for Satoru to not be the camboy. but there’s no way, right?

You shook your head and slid your lock screen to the side, checking the numbers in your bank account before deciding that you’re going to win that auction once and for all. There was no peace in your mind until you could confirm whether or not Satoru was behind the mask that you’d gotten off to countless times.

“Hello, my lovely watchers. It’s so good to be back.” The camboy’s voice rang through the speakers of your headphones as you watched him contently. He had a mask on as usual, and his shirt was nowhere to be seen. You admired his smile, amongst other things, as you listened to what he had to say. “Now, before we start, I wanted to lay out some rules. You can bid in $10 increments at minimum. The second rule is that to buy out all the bidders, you must autobuy. That means you will be paying $1500 to win the private cam session with me. Got it?” His signature smirk was plastered on his face, and you couldn’t help but notice how uncannily similar it was to Satoru’s grin. The soft smile resting on your lips slowly faded at the thought. “Let’s begin!”

It took twenty-five turns of bidding while the camboy did suggestive things before you placed the bet of $500. You thought no one would outbid you, after the last bid being $250. You bit your nails anxiously, watching the screen intently. “Wow! $500 from…” The camboy leaned in with a squint, reading out your username. “Ch0sen0nesGF? That’s adorable.” He smiled contently, showing all of his beautiful pearly whites. Your heart raced as he said your screen name out loud. You never thought he’d notice you, and although it was because of your bid, you still felt a rush of suspense and excitement run through you.

Eleven bids later and the current bid sitting at $820, you finally decide to say fuck it. “God damn it. My bank account is gonna start crying.” You say after placing your final bid with an exhale, closing your eyes and leaning your head into your hands. It was the autobuy. You knew you shouldn’t have, but your need for knowing whether or not your favorite camboy was Satoru led you to this unfortunate financial decision. It was a win/win in your head. On one hand, if he is in fact Satoru Gojo, you’re right and can potentially use it against him during class elections. If it’s not, you get a private session with the one and only camboy of your dreams. It wasn’t the most financially stable decision, but you had to do what you felt obligated to do. The camboy raised a brow in the middle of gripping his semi-hard cock, almost giving you the impression that he was getting off to people bidding money on him. His eyes focused on the screen before widening and letting out a breathy laugh.

“An autobuy from none other than Ch0sen0nesGF! Wow, thank you so much. I-I honestly can’t believe it!” The video star’s voice was full of genuine surprise. “I guess there you have it. I’ll send you an invite request shortly. As for everyone else, I’ll be doing another livestream later this week to take donations. I hope you all enjoyed, and have a splendid night.” With that, he was gone.

Part of you felt relieved that you didn’t have to wait any longer. The other part? You could die on the spot. Your heart was racing and your palms sweaty at the idea of meeting your admired camboy. Although it wasn’t in person, the idea was still extremely anxiety inducing. A fwhip ding from your laptop distracted you from the nerve-wracking thoughts in your mind. It was an invite request from the one and only camboy. Your mouth felt suddenly dry as you slid your fingers across your mousepad to accept. A few seconds later, a video call notification popped up on your screen from him. “Fuck.” You whispered under your breath. “I can do this, I can do it. It’s fine.” You muttered, fixing your hair as if that would make a difference. You answered the call with your video camera still turned off.

The camboy’s face was plastered across your screen, a soft smile playing across his lips. “Hello, sweetheart.” He greeted, leaning back to show off his toned torso. Muffled R&B music played in the background of his video call, seemingly setting the mood. “Now, as I said, you get this video call with me. However, it would make it much more interesting if I also got to see your face, considering I’m showing mine for the first time.” He leaned forward, mask still covering half of his face. His sky-colored eyes were sheltered by long, white lashes, making them look more sultry. “So, how about it?” The camboy quizzed and lifted his fingers to the edge of his mask as if he were to lift it at any moment.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. “Okay.” You replied softly, reaching for the mousepad with your index finger and turning on your camera. You stared at him as your face popped up in the corner of the screen, slightly messy hair framing your face. You bit your lip out of anxiety, slightly hoping that this was a dream. The cam boy paused, mouth open slightly as if he was examining your face. His eyes darted around, intently staring at the screen before smiling.

“This does, in fact, make things much more interesting.” His slender fingers delicately hovering over the edges of the mask finally grasped it and pulled it off. Your heart nearly went into cardiac arrest. All of your suspicions were proven at this moment as his face was uncovered.

Satoru sat there with his signature cocky grin, staring at you attentively through the screen. It felt like you were nearly naked with how embarrassment seemed to flood your entire body. “Are you going to say anything, Y/N? Or are you just going to stare at me with your mouth open as if you want something inside of it?” His attitude was repulsive, but you couldn’t help but think back to how many times he’d gotten you off without even touching you. His voice, his eyes, the way he stroked himself… all of those things led to your own orgasm countless times. You clenched your jaw, pushing those thoughts aside for the time being.

“I knew it was you, I just needed to prove it.” Your voice was shaky and your breathing continued to become more unsteady as your anxiety began to rise.

“Okay, so you know it’s me. Now what?” Satoru questioned, raising a brow and seeming unfazed. “You gonna tell the whole school that I’m an exhibitionist? That I take pleasure in knowing people watch me to get off, hmm?” His words were teasing you in their own way, but you couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed by his reaction.

“N-no…” All of your confidence went out the window. “I just wanted to prove it to myself.” Your answer was honest to an extent. You did want to use it against him, but now that you could, you somehow came to your senses and realized it would be unjust cruelty. The perfect Satoru Gojo, a camboy. It would be hard for some to believe, but you knew that somehow it would benefit him.

“Well, you paid all of this money. Why don’t we go ahead and get to it?” Satoru’s words brought you back from the thoughts in your own head, cocking his head to the side and letting his hand slowly glide to his lower torso. You stared keenly before looking back up at his face which was riddled with arrogance.

“Get.. get to what?” You asked curiously, breath hitching in the back of your throat as you felt yourself become more turned on with each movement of his long fingers on his torso. Although you truly despised him, he was still the camboy you admired dearly.

“You know exactly what I mean. Don’t play stupid, doll. You can still hate Satoru Gojo, but don’t try to deny that I get you off better than anyone else could without even laying a finger on you.” That statement from him earned a breathy and near-silent moan. You weren't even touching yourself and he’d already gotten you to the point of wanting to do explicit things to yourself while listening to his voice. “See? Now that’s a good girl.” Satoru praised you for the noise you made, his voice dripping with confidence.

“I-I can’t. You're… I-” The words you tried to muster up seemed to get stuck in the back of your throat with every sentence you tried to speak.

“And why not? You mean to tell me that you paid all of that money and are gonna let it go to waste, princess?” The nickname made you clench your jaw out of frustration, but not the bad kind. “You know you want to…” Your eyes watched his hands grip around his clothed cock, getting harder with every word. You stared at the spot on his grey sweatpants that began to get soaked with his precum. “Look at what you’re doing to me, Y/N.”

Not even divine intervention could’ve stopped you at this point. You placed your laptop towards the end of the bed and sat on your knees, unbuttoning your shirt that you’d worn to school earlier that day. You looked into the camera, heart racing and breath spiking with every button that was undone. Your fingertips lingered on the last button before pulling off your shirt to reveal your pretty white lace bra. Satoru bit his lip, his hand gripping his dick with more force. He moved up and down the clothed shaft slowly as if he was teasing himself. You could hear him stifle a moan as he watched you undress yourself.

“You’re so beautiful. I’m surprised you don’t show yourself off on camera like I do.” That comment earned a small, genuine chuckle as you were finally down to your bra and panties. Satoru slid his grey sweatpants off to reveal a tented bulge in his boxers. His hands stroked the member at a slow and steady pace, as if he went any faster that he’d combust. You let out a soft groan at the sight, feeling yourself become wetter by the second. “Lay down on your back. I want to see all of you.” Satoru ordered in a demanding yet needy tone of voice, becoming more flustered as the time passed along.

You listened to his words as if they were controlling you, positioning yourself on your back to where he could see everything from the side. Your eyes closed briefly before the nerves got to you. “Satoru, I-” You started before he quickly cut you off.

“I don’t want you to speak unless spoken to. The only things that should be coming out of your mouth besides moans are ‘yes, sir’, ‘no, sir’, and ‘thank you, sir’. Understood?” His words made you moan as your fingers lingered over your bra-covered breasts, touching yourself so lightly that it made you want more. You nodded, biting your lip and daring to look at the screen. Satoru was positioned to where you could see from his thighs to the top of his head. You took in the way his face stared intently at you with a lasting expression of lust. His toned torso moved in sync with his rapidly increasing breaths and his hands were teasing the tip of his cock through his tight boxers. Satoru raised a brow, expecting you to answer.

”Yes, sir.” You replied, nearly breathless from the teasing that felt like edging. You couldn’t believe the state you were in with not having done anything yet. This reply garnered a genuine and lecherous smile.

“That’s my girl. Now, take off your bra.” Your hands didn’t hesitate to reach around and unclasp the device, taking off the undergarment in one swift motion. You awaited his next command as the cool air from your room made your nipples perk up. Satoru licked his lips. His movements on his girthy member becoming more steady with each stroke. “I want you to touch your nipples, softly. Pinch them, tease them. Show me how you touch yourself when you watch me.”

You did your best to push the embarrassment of knowing that Satoru knew you had gotten off to him countless times. The tips of your fingers came up and flicked at your nipples, head leaning back into the bedsheets as you let out a soft gasp. You pinched them in between your fingertips, teasing them while replaying thoughts of him stroking his cock. “Satoru…” You let out in a breathless moan. It was a plead for more, and you knew he wasn’t going to give it to you just yet.

You other hand came up and gripped your neglected breast, squeezing it softly as you closed your eyes. Your pussy tingled with anticipation and your hips bucked up slightly at the feeling. You wanted more. You needed more. Your eyes fluttered opened and you turned your head to glance at him. Satoru was staring at you with lascivious eyes, almost as if they were imploring for more.

You slid your hands down, not caring that he only said to touch your nipples. Your thumbs grazed on the inside of your panties, glancing down at them for a moment before returning your eyes to him. Satoru’s teeth tugging on his bottom lip was confirmation enough, leading you to pull your underwear completely off. He followed suit, revealing his cock that was hidden behind his boxers. You’d seen it many times, but this one was different. It felt much more intimate knowing he, too, was watching you. His hands gripped the thick member, stroking it at a steady pace as he watched you unravel yourself for him.

“Fuck, I fucking need you.” Satoru’s vulgar words were enough for you to bring one hand to your breast and slide the other down to your pussy in hopes of relieving some tension. “That’s a good fucking girl. Keep going.” He ordered as moans began to leave your mouth over and over, eyes fluttering back and forth. You imagined that instead of your fingers, it was Satoru’s stroking your sensitive and swollen clit. You wished it was him teasing at your nipples with his tongue instead of your own hands. The thought alone pushed you closer to the edge.

“S-Satoru!” You breathlessly gasped, curling your fingers inside of yourself and watching him continue to speed up the movements on his cock. His hands were tightly curled around his member, stroking at a fast pace while watching you touch yourself. The moans leaving his mouth were heavenly, almost symphonic. Thoughts of what they’d sound like if he was inside of you flooded your mind, making you quicken the pace of your fingers.

“Keep going. F-fuck yourself faster. That’s my good fucking girl. Such a good toy for me.” Satoru‘a praise rang out through the speakers of your laptop, words coated in lust and longing. You obliged to his demands with a ‘yes, sir’, doing what he ordered as if you’d done it a million times.

You felt yourself getting closer to your orgasm. Your hips bucked over and over as you continued to fuck yourself with your fingers, watching him pant and continue to stroke himself. “Gonna cum for me?” Satoru asked in between melodious moans. You nodded intensely, unable to muster out any words while squeezing your eyes shut as your felt your orgasm bubbling. “Beg.” He ordered harshly, mouth opening as sweat rippled across his forehead.

“Please, Satoru! Please, sir!” You begged, curling your toes and bucking your hips vigorously. You turned your head and dared to open your eyes and watch him. “Please let me cum for you. Please, Satoru. I need to cum for you.” You pleaded as your release was closer than you could imagine. Satoru moaned deeply, speeding up his movements to match yours.

“Cum for me. Cum, you stupid fucking slut.” With his words, you felt your orgasm wash over and relieve you of any stress you’d built up. Your moans rang through his speakers as you reached your release. Looking over, you watched as he reached his orgasm, squirting his cum all over his toned torso. Satoru’s breathing was rapid and his eyes were closed. He brought a hand up and brushed his white hair out of his face, leaning his head onto the pillow behind him. “Fuck…” he said breathlessly.

“Y-yeah…” You agreed with a stifled chuckle, closing your eyes and leaning further into the mattress. The real world creeped in slowly, persisting you to grab a shirt from the floor and put it on to cover up. Satoru did the same, grabbing his boxers and putting them on to cover himself after cleaning his release from off of his stomach. “So.” You said awkwardly, brushing your now messy hair behind your ear and positioning yourself to sit and face the camera in a criss-cross position.

“So?” Satoru asked curiously, a sweet smile curling on his lips with the singular word. He rolled his eyes and scoffed at your extended silence. “Please don’t tell me you’re gonna make this awkward now.” You blushed, looking away and biting your lip out of anxiety.

“No, I just-” You began before shaking your head and looking down. You lifted your head shortly after to face him and begin again. “This never happened, okay?” The look of disappointment replaced his smile and he pursed his lips to the side. Satoru nodded in agreement, mumbling a defeated ‘yeah’ while shaking his head.

“As you wish, princess.” The sarcastic nickname made you genuinely laugh, causing him to sit for a moment and admire you. You took a moment before regaining yourself, admiring him as well. His eyes were so beautiful, something you loved about him before knowing it was actually him. Satoru’s lips were so perfectly designed for his face, as if God himself took the time to make sure he’d have a beautiful smile. You shrugged the thoughts off and decided to call it here.

“Bye, Satoru.” The words were not meant to sound sad, but it came out as if you were slightly heartbroken. You didn’t want the fun to end, but you knew it was for the best. Satoru wasn’t your friend, nor your acquaintance. He was the star student of your college, a semi-famous camboy, and your academic rival. Nothing about this would work. You sighed, content with knowing the answers you sought after in the first place.

“See ya later, Y/N.” Even Satoru’s voice sounded sad, but in the same way as yours of knowing what’s best for each of you.

It had been two weeks since your escapade with Satoru and you’d been avoiding him the entire time. Every time you caught a glimpse of him, whether it be in the cafeteria or the library, you immediately turned around to go the other way. He tried multiple times to give you a small wave but you ignored it, not being able to bear the thought of the things you two did together.

The memories flooded your mind as your physics book was laid out in front of you, notes scattered across the table in the back of the near-empty library. It was 7 pm on a Friday, meaning everyone was either out partying or doing their own thing in their dorms. You, however, had to study immensely for your upcoming midterms. The thought alone made you groan and shove your head in your hands. “Fuckin’ christ. I should just drop out.” You muttered dismissively, not wanting to study any longer.

“That’s not the attitude I’d expect from our future class president.” The words stung your ears as a familiar voice was deluged with them. You lifted your head slowly, eyes settling on Satoru who was watching you ever so intently. Your face flushed with a crimson blush after avoiding him for so long. He lifted his hand and did a small wave that you’d rejected many times before this meeting. “Hi, Y/N.”

“Satoru, I really don’t have time for this.” You stated in an annoyed and exhausted tone, beginning to close your books. He walked over slowly, grabbing at your wrist that was trying to put away the notes. Satoru closed the gap between you, leaning over and getting closer to your face. His blue eyes left yours for a moment to peer at your lips, only to look back up and smirk. You let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding and pulled your wrist away. He released a chortle, sitting close to you on the table where your scattered notes lay.

“C’mon, you don’t wanna talk to me for even a moment?” Satoru questioned with a smile, shaking his head. “And after all we’ve been through…” He tsk-ed, putting a hand over his heart. The blush that had since faded returned, making you turn your head away from him in attempts to hide it. Satoru took the redness of your ears as an invitation and without further hesitation grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. “What do you say we do it right here, right now?” A devilish grin was stuck on his face as he leaned in closer to you, almost as if he were to kiss you. Your tongue left your mouth to lick your lips before he moved right past your face and went to your ear. The star student licked along the outskirts of your earlobes before breathily whispering. “I can feel how much you’re aching for me right now, princess. Tell me you want me to take you in this library for everyone to see.” A quiet moan slipped from your mouth as the grip on your chin shifted to your throat, squeezing ever so slightly to arise a reaction from you. “Don’t you wanna be a good girl for me, Y/N?”

That phrase alone made you wriggle in your seat with anticipation, causing his mouth to leave your ear and look at you. His hand left your throat and rested on either side of you, positioned on the chair you were sitting at. Satoru’s eyes darted from your own to your lips, as if questioning if you really wanted to do this. Your breathing was steadily increasing, as was your heart rate. Part of you wanted to say no, to leave immediately. But you were desperate for him. You needed him to devour you like an animal. Before you could say no, your body produced a nod for Satoru.

His hands left the chair and instantaneously connected with your jaw again, closing the space between you and engulfing your lips into a kiss. Your hand wrapped around his wrist, nudging it down as if begging him to put it around your throat. Satoru smiled into the kiss and did as you requested, gripping your neck just enough to cut off the blood flow and send a rush to your head once he let go. The bliss of his tongue entering your mouth and intertwining with your own made you moan against his mouth, scooting closer to the edge of the chair to be more near him. Satoru took this as a sign to further things and lifted your body off of the chair, still locked in the kiss. He swiftly moved you to the table. Pages of your notes fluttered across the floor with the sudden movement. You wrapped your legs around his hips, deeping the kiss by pulling his head closer. The feeling of his hardening cock behind his white joggers against your own sweatpants made a moan escape your vocal chords into his mouth. Satoru pulled away from the kiss and moved the chair you’d previously been sitting in to settle himself on his knees. You raised a brow, confused by his actions. “Satoru?”

A fiendish grin made its way onto his lips as he placed his thumbs through the waistband of your sweatpants and tugged them down along with your underwear. “I don’t want you to speak unless spoken to. The only things that should be coming out of your mouth besides moans are ‘yes, sir’, ‘no, sir’, and ‘thank you, sir’. Understood?” The familiar words made you lose your breath as you remembered the moments from a few weeks ago. You nodded hastily and let him continue. “Atta girl.” Satoru praised before kissing up your thighs, gripping them with a steady pressure on either side. His mouth found its way to your stomach by sliding your shirt up, lifting himself up ever so slightly to reach your nipples. He looked up at you with hungry eyes before immersing one of your sensitive buds into his mouth, sucking on them with no hesitation. His teeth bit them gingerly, continuing to suckle at them as he did so. Satoru moved to the other side and continued to do the same thing before moving on, lips interchanging between peppering kisses down your torso and fellating the skin there.

His movements continued until he was face to face with your pussy. A deep breath exhaling from him caused you to buck your hips, in search of some sort of contact. You bit your lip at the unconscious act of desperation that your body performed. You never expected to be so submissive in the presence of Satoru Gojo, yet here you were in all of your half naked glory. His eyes locked with yours before licking up the sides of your folds, tasting in the sweet juices that had trickled out. You leaned on one arm and used the other one to cover your mouth with your hand. Even though it was highly possible no one else was in the library, you couldn’t imagine getting caught in this position right now.

Satoru continued to explore you with his mouth, licking along everywhere except where you needed him most. “S-Satoru…” You whimpered. “Sir, please. I-” His eyes focused in on you, darkening as you continued to speak in stuttered breaths. “I need you, Satoru.” Those words were like a switch in his brain as he began to devour every piece of you his tongue could reach. You did your best to withhold the sounds of pleasure that dared to escape your mouth as he suckled at your extremely sensitive clit. Satoru’s tongue made its way up and down your folds before settling on your clit, nibbling it ever so slightly. The explicit noises he made ellicited a deep moan from you, causing him to groan into your pussy. Before you knew it, you were being filled by not one, but two, of Satoru’s slender fingers. A loud whine made its way out of your mouth. You gave up leaning on your arm and gave way to laying down fully on the table, squeezing your thighs around Satoru’s warm face. The continuous pressure against your sweet spot combined with the movements of his tongue had you seeing stars.

“Cum.” Satoru commanded out of nowhere, muffled by your wet cunt. You hadn’t realized the feeling of your orgasm creeping up on you before he’d said something. Not responding in a proper enough time frame from him, he got up and leaned over the table, fingers still working at your g-spot. “I said cum, you pathetic whore. Cum for me.” His large hand went over your mouth as he kept bullying your insides with his middle and ring finger. “Look at me.” Satoru demanded. The lecherous look on his face and his continuous movements led you to your orgasm, slick juices covering his hands as he slowed his pace down. Your erratic breathing elicited a smirk from him; the signature, cocky smirk that you’d seen plenty of times before. He removed the hand covering your mouth and replaced it with the fingers that were inside of you, which you gladly and hastily licked clean. “What a good fuckin’ girl. Now say ‘thank you, sir’.”

“Thank you, sir.” You replied breathlessly, still coming down from the high of having an orgasm by his hands.

Satoru leaned in and kissed you, his tongue slowly making its way to ravage your mouth and selfishly steal the taste of your juices from you. Suddenly, he pulled away with a familiar devilish grin. “Now, should I give you what you want, or should I fuck your face like you’re my own personal fleshlight?” The vulgar words made your face hot with embarrasment, but you didn’t care anymore. You just wanted him, in any way you could have him.

“Whichever you want. Anything for you, sir.” Yiu responded in a sultry tone, wanting nothing more than to please him at this moment. Satoru’s lips curved into a smile as he pulled you to the edge of the table, making you sit up.

“Knees. Now.” Those two words sent chills down your spine as you moved to listen to him. You looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, giving him an innocent facial expression even though he ate you out like he’d been starving for days. Satoru chuckled, pulling his sweatpants down enough for his cock to bounce out from the restraint of the clothing. “Look at you,” He began with a hand on your jawline, running his thumb across your chin and up to your lips. He pulled your bottom lip down with his fingertips, eliciting you to open your mouth. Satoru’s spare hand was stroking his member at a painfully slow pace, precum dripping onto the floor. You took his thumb into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and closing your eyes before opening them and making eye contact. “You’re such a pretty fucking toy, Y/N.” He took his thumb out of your mouth and continued to stroke your jawline, eyes never leaving yours. A grin took over his face before he pulled his hand back and landed a slap on your face, just enough to move your head but not enought to hurt you. “Open that slutty mouth of yours, yeah?”

You made an opening with your mouth for him, continuing to stare up into his pretty blue eyes. Satoru used his hand to move his member and hit it against your cheek, making a light slapping noise from the contact. He moved the tip to your lips, rubbing the dripping precum against them before slowly entering his dick inside of your mouth. He let out a deep groan as you continued to take him inside of your mouth, flattening your tongue as to rub it against the underside of his shaft. Satoru’s soft palms grasped at either side of your face, fingers tangling in the hair that he could reach. He started off slow, pulling his cock out to the tip and moving back in, doing the same again but only taking half out this time. You mustered up the confidence you could to not gag and pull off of him. Suddenly, he began to fuck your face fiercely. Satoru shoved all the way into your mouth with each thrust at a steady, quick pace. He was desperate to feel you around him, gripping your hair harder with each thrust and letting moans go with each time you’d gag or whimper around him. “S’fuckin good.” He praised while moving a hand to clench your hair into a ponytail. he used his free hand to lean on the table behind him while he thrusted into your mouth. The sounds coming from his mouth could’ve made the heaven’s cry by how lovely they were. You closed your eyes, focusing on breathing through your nose and whimpering with every harsher thrust Satoru delivered. The feeling of his cock riding in and out of your mouth so recklessly made you wish it was inside of you instead.

All too soon, he pulled his cock out of your mouth and grabbed you by your arms to place you on the table. “Need you.” Satoru stated frantically, kissing you feverishly in between sentences. His hand made its way to your folds, entering two fingers in suddenly and curling to hit your sensitive spot a few times before pulling them out almost as quickly as they were inside. He grabbed his long and girthy cock, positioning it in front of your pussy and sliding it along the slit. A breathy ‘fuck’ escaped his lips before he shoved it in without warning. You leaned on one arm, your free hand covering your mouth to prevent a scream from escaping as he pounded into you at full speed. You could tell he needed this just as much as you did.

Satoru thrusted into you over and over again, continuing to defile your insides with his cock. You bucked your hips in sync with him as his hands gripped your waist, pulling you onto him more with each thrust. You felt like you were drunk or high, as if you were in a haze. Your thoughts were incoherent as he started plowing in and out of your cunt, merciless by accident with how roughly he moved— not that you were complaining. Quite the opposite with how hard it was to keep quiet inside of this empty public library. Sounds of desperate moans and skin on skin filled the room. Satoru seemed determined to make you cream around his cock in a way that would make you completely forget everything but the image of him on top of you on this table. A deep moan slipped from your lips, making you arch your back as he hit the sweet spot inside of you. “Be quiet.” Satoru grunted, moving your hand from your mouth and letting it fall onto the table to support you. He replaced your own hand by shoving two fingers in your mouth. You happily obliged to this filling, sucking on his fingers and whimpering around them as he relentlessly thrusted.

Between incoherent pleads for more around his fingers and breathless moans, you felt your orgasm drawing closer with each time he entered you. A bubbly feeling was growing by the second, and your expressions of pleasure soon heightened in pitch. “S-sir… ‘m close!” The broken words escaped your mouth as soon as he removed his fingers from your mouth to return to your hips in hopes of somehow bringing himself deeper into you, although being already down to the hilt of his shaft. “That’s it, cum all over my cock.” Satoru’s fingers immediately went for your clit, fingertips circling the swollen and sensitive bud to send you over the edge.

Between the clenching of your walls closing around him from your high releasing and the thrusts continuing at full force, his orgasm followed suit. His beautiful, low moans filled your ears as he emptied his load inside of you, the thick liquid slowly coming out your hole and spilling onto the table as he continued to thrust slowly while he hit his high. Satoru stopped moving his hips eventually, leaning his chin to rest on your shoulder. You both were a panting mess and the library was extremely dark. He pulled out with a wince at how sensitive he was before pulling up his boxers and sweatpants. He helped you off the table, legs still shaking from the exchange. Yiu leaned into him, pulling your own sweatpants up and tightening them around your waist. You looked up into his eyes. They were nearly sparkling and still full of lust, but nevertheless beautiful. “Let me walk you to the dorms.” Satoru said, more of a statement than a question. You inhaled deeply and nodded, not having the energy to tell him you could go alone.

Satoru helped you pack your things into your bag before you both left the library, eyeing the one old lady sitting at the desk who seemed to be oblivious to everything happening around her. She had an old headset on and looked to be reading a very thick book. You both shook your head simultaneously, stifling laughs while heading out the front door towards the dorms.

After a few minutes walking in silence, you decided to speak up. “Y’know this doesn’t change anything, right?” You quizzed, looking straight ahead to avoid looking at his face. Satoru’s familiar chuckle flooded your ears as he nodded.

“I figured. You're very stubborn when it comes to me for some reason.” He joked, playfully pushing you to the side. You laughed in response and returned to your original position on the sidewalk next to him. “However,” He began, making your ears perk up. You looked over at Satoru who had a devilish grin. “You don’t always have to watch me on camera. You could join me, too…”

[euphoricpixiee]

*+:｡.｡ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐫𝐮𝐡𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

A/N: hi hi! I am finally back with a new fic!!! here is the filthiest thing I've written to date, and I feel pretty good about it! pls leave feedback if you liked it. (it keeps me writing)

WC: 2.7k+

Warning(s): partying, drugs, alcohol, smut, oral (fem receiving), rough sex, breeding kink, swearing, the reader is in fae heat. if there's more pls lmk!

Why did being in heat make everything more sensitive? All Y/N wanted to do was go to her mate’s party and maybe drink, but every dress or outfit she put on rubbed against her sensitive skin in a way that made her mind drift to very filthy thoughts. 

Fuck, she can’t go to the party like that and be panting after Ruhn the whole night. The one time she decides to go to a party, her heat arrives. It came early and now all she wants to do is lay back in her bed and give herself multiple orgasms until she falls asleep. She can’t though, she has to go to this party, she promised. 

Her phone lit up with the prince’s message which made a smile form on her lips. 

Ruhn: Hey princess, we just finished setting up. I’ll be on my way in a few if you still want to come.

Y/N: Yes, I’m still coming, princey. I promised, remember? Lol

Ruhn: Okay, I’ll head over. See you soon, baby. Xx

Y/N: See you soon xx

Her cheeks felt heated and her core throbbed harder. She knew she wouldn’t be able to hide it from him so, why not milk the opportunity? She giggled to herself and walked inside her closet. Her fingers drifted over the lacey fabric of her lingerie (that Ruhn has no idea about) and swiped the lilac set. 

With the set on, she tried to focus her mind on something other than the dirty thoughts running through her head as she pulled on a deep purple cocktail dress. Once she had her heels on and her hair done she gently applied a small amount of mascara and lipstick.

As Y/N was applying her lipstick, her doorbell rang. When she opened the door, her knees almost bucked at the sight of her mate. He had a plain grey t-shirt on with ripped black jeans, and his hair hanging over his shoulder. Ruhn grinned as he brought his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. Her cheeks began to heat and a wave of arousal shot through her core, she prayed that he didn’t notice. 

When the prince pulled away, the grin that he wore was now smugger than it was a few seconds ago. His hands rested on her hips as he looked her over and fuck, she wanted to squirm under his gaze. “I’m–” she couldn’t even say the damn word but he understood. His fingers dug into her hips as he left a trail of wet kisses on her neck. A soft moan fell from her lips when his lip ring ran along the sensitive skin just below her ear. 

“We don’t have to go to the party, baby.” he drawled as he slid his hand down to her ass and squeezed. If she didn’t stop him, they would never arrive at the party. Y/N placed her hands on his chest and giggled. There’s nothing she would love more than to be fucked by her mate until she was sated. With her being in heat, that could take days and they don’t have those days to spare. 

“We have to go to the party. We don’t want people to call you a bad host for not showing up to your own party now, do we?” A low chuckle rumbled in the prince’s chest as he held you against it. When her eyes met his violet ones, she saw the desire that swirled through his mind too. Maybe this party wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

______________________________________________________________

When they finally arrived at his house, people had already started to arrive and when we passed a group of males, his grip on her hand got tighter. Y/N followed her mate toward the kitchen as she looked around the open space for her friends but it looked like they hadn’t shown up just yet. 

Flynn and Declan hollered and whistled when their eyes land on Y/N and her dress. “Dec, I thought you didn’t root for–” with a thwack from Declan, Flynn yowled and grinned at his best friend. Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the two as they bickered and shoved at each other. They truly were siblings just not bound by blood. She looked over at Ruhn and his demeanor had changed within a few minutes of being in the house. Her shoulder bumped his arm which snapped him out of whatever he was thinking and met her eyes. 

“You look pissed, princey.” 

“Nope, not pissed, baby.” Y/N narrowed her eyes at his tone because it wasn’t his usual one. That’s when it clicked and she looked around the house. Every male that was in the house besides Flynn and Dec had been checking her out. They had to have scented her heat when they walked in. She squeezed his hand and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

Once Ruhn was done preparing their drinks, he tugged her upstairs and away from the crowd growing downstairs. Even though the music was still blaring, it was muffled, which prevented her ears from losing their hearing. The balcony he had taken her to was one that she had never seen before. “What are we doing up here?” 

He grinned, "We're up here because if I see another male looking at you like they want to fuck your brains out, I may kill them. There is no other male allowed in here but me." Heat rose in her cheeks as she looked around. It had a beautiful view of the city and the sounds of cars blaring their horns echoed along with the music that was downstairs. 

“You don’t have to be jealous, baby. You’ve ruined any other male for me,” she sat down gently on the prince’s lap and wrapped her arms lazily around his neck. Oh, the many thoughts that shoot through her mind as she felt his cock against the backs of her thighs. 

Do tell me what they are, princess.

His voice echoed through her mind, all deep and demanding. That made her core throb harder and wanted so much just to have him in her or at least have him in her mouth. His eyes were locked on her’s and when she licked her bottom lip, a low growl rumbled through him as she ground down on the tent of his jeans. 

A sharp and quick smack on her ass made her moan, “I want to ride your cock until I’m a crying mess.” She wined. Heat rushed to her cheeks, again as she realized what she had just said. A smug smile tugged on Ruhn’s lips with the blunt hanging from them, 

“Get up, baby, and strip for me.” Y/N’s core became a molten mess as the demand fell from his mouth. 

“But what if someone sees me?” she said, looking around for cameras because she was sure as hell that Declan had them installed all throughout the house. 

“I’m the only one in your audience, princess. There are no cameras, and we’re far enough back from the rail that no one else would be able to see you, also, my bedroom door is locked so there’s no way another male is getting to you.” Ruhn said as he took another hit from the blunt and waited. 

With a slight nod and smile, she began to drag the straps of her dress down her shoulders and slowly dragged the bust of her dress down, exposing the soft lace underneath. Ruhn groaned and palmed the erection growing in his jeans. “Come here, now.” 

Another demand that she would happily follow. Once she was in front of him, he wrapped a muscled arm around her waist and had her straddle his lap. Her core, once again, pressed against his throbbing cock. She whimpered because fuck, she just wanted to skip all the foreplay and have him buried deep inside her. She was already wet and dripping for him, but it wasn’t enough for him. 

“I thought you wanted me to strip, princey?” 

“I did until I saw that fucking pastel lace. Lingerie is for me to take off, not you. Like my own personal present. All you need is a little bow,” He grinned. He sat the blunt down in the ashtray beside him and held her hips still as he pulled the fabric of her bra down with his teeth, exposing her breast to him. The cold air was replaced with warm lips against her nipple and lewd noises that made her squirm in his lap. 

As he nipped and kissed at her right nipple, his hand slowly inched its way up and unclasped the lacey garment, her breasts on full display for him. “Ruhn, baby,” Y/N whined as she squirmed even more on his lap, she was certain there had to be a wet spot on his jeans from how much he was making her drip. 

“Yes, love?” he said, his hands sliding up and down her sides. That only encouraged her to grind down on her mate. Ruhn groaned in pleasure as she rocked her hips back and forth against his hard erection. 

Y/N cupped her mate’s face as she continued her pace, “I need you.” she whined. His lips curled into a smug grin. His fingertips played with the waistband of her panties which made her core throb with anticipation. 

“How do you need me?” Ever so slowly, his fingers began to pull the lace down over the swell of her ass. Her chest was hot and heat rushed to her cheeks. “Matter-of-fact, I want you to fully strip for me, and lay on my bed with your pretty thighs spread wide. I want a good view of your beautiful dripping cunt.” With those final words, her body thrummed with excitement but, she too had a demand. 

“I want to ride you while you smoke. That’s the only request I’ll ask for, the rest of the time, you can do whatever you want to me.” Desire flooded her veins and she desperately needed to get those clothes off. The prince grinned even wider and she could see that he was struggling to restrain himself from pouncing on her. 

Once she had rid herself of clothes and settled onto the bed, she watched as he walked up to her and kneeled. She took her bottom lip between her teeth and waited for him to begin teasing her, but instead, she was greeted with a kiss on her clit and a gentle lick. A small whimper slipped from her lips as she pushed herself up onto her elbows to watch him. 

Ruhn’s eyes flicked up to hers and smirked, “I know I usually tease the fuck out of this pussy but tonight is different. Tonight, I want to make sure every godsdamn male in this house knows who gets to fuck you while you’re in heat and even when you’re not.” He gently rubbed his fingers through her dripping folds and rubbed tight circles on her clit. She gasped at the pace of his middle finger furiously circling her bundle of nerves. Moans fell from her left and right, her legs trembled because she was so fucking close to the edge. 

“Baby,” she moaned as she tangled her fingers in his hair and pushed his head toward her aching core. “I need your tongue.” A low chuckle sounded from the back of Ruhn’s throat as he latched his lips on her sensitive bud and sucked. Moan after moan left her lips with each stroke of his tongue on her pussy. He tasted all of her and even teased her entrance with the tip of his tongue. It made her want to scream and moan at the same time. It felt too good and she knew she was right on the edge of her first orgasm of the night.

With one last harsh suck and nip from her prince, her orgasm crashed into her. Again and again, she came. Her legs had clamped themselves around his head as she rode out her orgasms. She mewled and whined when he finally pulled away from her cunt. Slick coated his lips until he licked them clean. It was a heady sight as she watched as he sucked her juices off his fingers. He hummed and stood, his eyes never leaving hers as he unzipped his jeans and pushed them to the side. His shirt was next and fuck, she loved her mate when was only wearing nothing. 

He walked back out onto the balcony and snatched the forgotten blunt out of the ashtray. The blunt hung from his mouth as he climbed into the bed. She almost flung herself at him but with so much willpower, she slowly crawled into his lap and watched as he took a drag. It was the hottest thing she’s ever seen and it made her pussy throb harder than it already was. She whimpered at the sight of him blowing out the smoke. 

“Do you want some, baby?” Ruhn held out the blunt to her but she shook her head. 

“I want you to do it and I watch as I ride you. It’s hot.” He chuckled and leaned back against the headboard. She lined herself up with his thick cock and gently slid down, she mewled as she fully sheathed him inside her. Ruhn moaned as he took another drag, but this time without blowing it out he placed his hand on the back of her head and kissed her, the smoke filling her mouth. She rocked her hips as the smoke lingered in the air above them, not wanting to wait anymore. 

It was like ecstasy as her head became dizzy from how much pleasure and need was coursing through her. She had never felt this feeling before, not when she was with other men. But with Ruhn, it was different. All she wanted was to lie down and let him use her and fill her with his seed, no matter what the consequences were in the end. She takes the pill Hypaxia gives her monthly but fuck, why did her heat have to make her want to have a baby in her.

“I hear you, baby.” He groaned as her pace quickened because she really wanted him. She wanted everything he could give her and more. He sat the blunt down on the ashtray on the nightstand just a few feet away, but once it was put out, he flipped her onto her back as his thrusts became rougher and harder. 

Her screams and squeals of pleasure were music to the prince’s ears. He loved every noise she made while he fucked his cock into her. He felt so good inside her and she loved the feel of him, it was like she couldn’t get enough of him. She knew he was getting close to his high by the way his moans became deeper and how sloppy his thrusts had become. 

“Please come in me, princey. I need it.” She whined and mewled as his pace became even quicker. She could hear the headboard smacking the wall and fuck, it felt like he was going to break the bed.

With a deep growl and moan he leaned his forehead against hers and said, “Fuck, baby, fuck–,” Without warning, orgasms rushed through her. She screamed his name and clawed at his back. They were much more intense and she saw stars as she came. He came just as hard and she knew she wouldn’t be able to walk for the next few days. 

“That was–” Y/N tried to catch her breath but he finished the sentence for her. 

“Amazing. That was fucking amazing, princess. You did so well.” He cooed and pressed a gentle kiss to her head and then to her cheeks, then to her lips. He bumped his nose with him and she gave him a lazy grin. 

“I think you may have to carry me everywhere for a few days.” He laughed and kissed her with so much passion, it made her want to cry with happiness. This was her mate and only her mate. He was hers forever just as she was his forever.

[howellatme-writes]

Tomb Buster

Steven Grant x gn!reader, hints of Marc Spector gn!reader

Summary:

You returned from a trip abroad and are trying to get the spare key back to the apartment from Steven. However, you are unable to catch either of the boys due to their busy schedule, and you start to wonder if they are ignoring you.

Themes and warnings: Neighbors, Neighbors to lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hints of abuse, not beta-read, no use of y/n, gender-neutral reader (If I missed any warnings pls, let me know, and I'll add!)

Made for Moon Knight-cember Day 17/18: Rainy Day and/or VHS tape

Word Count: 3.4k

Author's Notes: First fic on my new writer's blog! I probably won't post very often, but I thought it would be nice to have a spot for my fics on Tumblr! Also, the first time I tried to specifically stay gender neutral with the reader, if I missed any pronouns, feel free to let me know!

It had been a few days since you returned from the trip abroad, and you still couldn’t catch Steven to get the spare key back to your apartment. His schedule was often the opposite of yours, and every time, you just continued to miss each other by mere minutes to and from the system’s various jobs. The responses to your texts to meet up the past few days were from Marc. They were short and avoidant, unlike the flirty, flowery texts Steven would send you featuring selfies with the plants he had watered for that day. 

One night, Steven initiated a late-night video chat, trying to cheer you up after a difficult night with your parents and co-workers. Then you realized the neighbor across the hall might have liked you more than you thought. His tired smile while he lay in bed at 2 in the morning, the freshly showered curls he brushed out of his face while he consoled you and let you vent about your issues made you realize you liked him back just as much. He told you about his boss, Donna, while you told him about your equally horrible boss while you’re stationed across the pond for work. Towards the end of your trip, you were starting to miss your home away from home more than you enjoyed being in your hometown, and it desperately showed in another Facetime call.

Marc started fronting the last few nights before you flew home, and the conversations were short. There were no selfies with your plants. He would just text, “Watering is done.” or “This cat’s shits are the worst thing I ever smelled.” Steven didn’t front as much, but his presence was still there. He even added googly eyes to the potted plants just to make you smile and laugh. Marc had sent you a phone with the caption, “I guess Steven snuck in when I thought I was asleep.” By the time you boarded your flight back to London, you were yearning to talk to Steven again, but it didn’t seem like you had that connection with Mark.

It was a rainy day, and you had just taken some of your propagated spider plants and potted them in some small terracotta pots when you checked your phone once again to see when you could meet up with Steven or Marc to get your spare key back. Nothing. You sat on the couch, placed the little spider plants on the coffee table, and leaned your elbows on your knees, your hand holding your chin as you huffed out a sigh, looking aimlessly around your apartment. If they weren’t interested, they would at least give you your key back, right? Hell, even just slide it under your door and never speak to you again. That was an option, too, right? Why are the boys stalling?

You reached to the sheet of googly eyes left by Steven and placed two eyes on each side of the plants’ pots. You couldn’t help but chuckle, and you decided to take it to the next level by reaching to grab a Sharpie to draw mouths to accompany each pair of eyes. On one side of the pot, a sad face with a tear, the other a smiley face. You did that with two of the pots, turning the sad faces towards you. You study them and pull out your phone, taking a picture of the tragic little spider plants, turn the pots, and repeat with the other side. Feeling mischievous and opening the texts, scrolling down to find their number, you attach the picture of the sad pots with the caption: “The plants miss you.” and hit send, waiting for his reaction.

After a few hours of sound sleep, you gradually become aware of a faint buzzing sound. As you start to stir and open your eyes, you realize your phone is on the table next to you, vibrating with incoming messages. You stretch your arms and legs, feeling your cat's weight on your chest and the warmth of its fur against your skin. Slowly, you sit up on the couch, blinking and yawning before picking up your phone. You squint at the screen, adjusting to the brightness, and see that two new texts are waiting for you. Your heart skips a beat as you realize they're from Steven, the person you've been waiting to hear back from. As you unlock your phone, your cat moves to the opposite end of the couch and curls up, seemingly undisturbed by your sudden movement.

“We should turn those plants' frowns upside down! -S” sent the text at 6:00 pm.

“???”- Was the last text sent at 9:00 pm.

The clock on the wall showed 9:52 PM, and you let out a deep sigh. You walked up to the window and glanced outside, only to see that it was pitch black and raining heavily. You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment, as you knew that you had probably missed meeting up with the boys again. You knew that Marc often picked up late-night shifts, but he never told you what he did.

With a tiny sliver of hope, you slide your phone into your pocket and pick up the two plants you had meant to give Steven. You stepped into some comfy slippers, went to his apartment across the hall, and knocked on the door, hoping he was home.

“Just a moment!” Steven calls, and you smile, feeling your heart start to race. After weeks of texting back and forth, you finally get to see him in person. After hearing several locks hurriedly being undone, Steven swings the door open to greet you, “Evenin’ Looking to get your spare key back?” breathing heavily, messy, damp curls in his face with an awkward smile and wrinkled brow. “Oh, you brought plants over?” he looked down at the two small plants with sad faces facing him.

“To be fair, they missed you. Look at them!” You try and smile. “I thought you might like them. A little extra thank you for caring for my cat and plants..”

“Oh. Oh! Thank you!” Steven said wide-eyed, “You can come on in if you like. I think Marc left your key by the fridge.” he gestured, letting you inside.

You step inside and kick your slippers off, looking around in awe at the sheer number of books. You could tell he had a lot of books from the video chats, but the amount of books covering the bookcases and every surface in his flat was beyond your imagination, “Wow… you have your books, I have my plants.” ​​

“I’m not bothering you boys or anything, am I?” you ask distantly. Despite the clutter, the flat just had this cozy feel, like you’d want to sit on a couch and curl up with Steven, blankets, tea, and a book.

“Ahhh yeah. Usually, I do a lot of reading when I can’t sleep.” Steven confessed sheepishly, rubbing his neck, “Would you like a cuppa or anything?” He asked from his tiny kitchen, already grabbing two cups from the cupboard.

“Yeah, sure,” you say, studying the makeshift furniture before you. A wooden top balancing upon half an end table and a sawhorse, with a small desk lamp on the left side, formed the kitchen table. Papers, maps, dirty dishes, and a magnifying glass lay on the table with other small tchotchkes. You walked past it to take in the rest of Marc and Steven’s flat, realizing it probably wasn’t the safest, sturdiest place for his first two plants.

“No. No!” Steven said quickly, “Not sure what Marc was doing before, but judging from the wet hair, probably a shower or somethin’.” Steven suggested offhandly as he put the kettle on.

Steven comes after you and grabs the plants from you, not noticing the hat or gloves. “Sorry about the mess. I’d blame Marc, but he’s always nagging at me to clean. Just never thought we’d have company.” He scurries around as if trying to find a spot to put them. Eventually, he settles, puts the plants on a small coffee table, and rushes to clear the couch of cardboard boxes before gesturing for you to sit down.

You walk further into the flat to see his desk against the skylight. It was still just as cluttered as the makeshift table, but at least the desk didn’t look like it would break with adding a plant or two, but space would have to be made for them. You shuffled around, and your foot bumped into something wet, a newsboy hat and leather gloves tucked under the desk, presumably damp from the rain.

You sit down on the worn leather couch and smile at him, moving one of the open boxes into your lap, just happy he was shifting all this stuff around to make space for you in the apartment, “It’s no problem, really. I was the one that just knocked on your door, no warning.”

“To be fair, Marc should’ve spent the last little bit sorting the place out instead of doing whatever he was doin'. Taking a shower, maybe; everything feels a little damp’,” Steven murmured as he sat on the couch. “ I-I was hoping you would come over, though,” he said, interlocking his own fingers together, not sure what to do with them, before just setting them down on his thighs.

“It’s fine. Really.” you try to reassure Steven, scooting closer to him on the couch, holding the box to your chest. “My apartment was totally deep-cleaned before I left. It’s usually not that clean, a little more cluttered.”

“Oh, yeah? Feel a bit better ‘bout this then.” Steven gestured to his organized chaos of the hastily moved boxes around the both of you.

You move a bit closer to him again under the guise of setting the box by your feet, “How was the flight? Still got any jet lag?” he quietly asks as you set the box down, and a well-worn VHS cover catches your eye, not even recognizing he was trying to make small talk.

You lean forward and pick the VHS up, “What's this relic of the past doing here?” I flip it over and read the title out loud, trying to tease him light-heartedly. “Tomb Buster? Huh. What sort of Off-brand Indiana Jones, B- movie, is this?” you chuckle, holding it up to Steven to show him without looking at the cover.

Steven froze like you had just found something extremely private and personal. “Well…uh-um-” his mouth open and shut, repeatedly struggling to find the words to say. Your brow furrows in confusion, wondering why the movie created such a reaction. He looks at his reflection on the TV in shock.

You turn the VHS tape around and look at the cover more closely. Moving your thumb, you  quietly read the wording at the bottom of the VHS tape, “When danger is near, Steven Grant has no fear?”

Steven darted nervously from the TV fearfully back to you, and he gulped audibly, speaking in a bit of a shaky voice “It’s one of Marc’s all-time favorite movies as a kid. It’s important to him, and he says he’s offended you called it ‘off-brand Indiana Jones.’”

“Oh.” You look back at the TV but don’t see what Steven sees. You spy the VHS player next to the Blu-ray, both covered in a thin layer of dust. “Have you ever seen it?” you ponder curiously.

Steven heaves a heavy sigh and takes the VHS tape from your hands, his warm fingers lingering on top of your own before placing the tape aside, “No. I haven’t.” he confessed quietly, looking up at you with sorrowful eyes. “Don’t think I’ll live up to my namesake.”

“Steven?” your hands reach out to grasp his again, feeling them tremble slightly. You rub the back of his hands with your thumbs, hoping to ease his anxiety.

“I’m not- I’m just something that Marc made up,” he whispered, ashamed, looking down at the VHS tape, “I found out when I saw- the movie poster one day. In his childhood bedroom.” He seemed to zone out for a moment, but when the kettle started whistling, it was like he had jumped out of his skin. He got up without a word, walking quickly to the stove as if thankful for the out in the conversation.

Steven sniffed as he grabbed a tin of tea bags from the cupboard trying to change the subject, “English Breakfast? Chamomile? I have lots. Take your pic.”

You felt awful as you stared down at the VHS tape. Dr. Steven Grant looked back at you as if judging you harshly. The plants' faces that felt comical mimicked the sadness of the heavy topic in the air. It never crossed your mind to ask who was the original and who was the alter. Part of you assumed it was Steven because you saw him the most between the two boys.

You slowly get up from the couch, follow him into the kitchen, and boldly wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him from behind. Steven freezes again, avoiding your gaze, “Chai. I don’t care which one of you is original.” you murmur, resting your head against his shoulder as he slowly prepares his tea. You sighed, your breath on his neck making his hair stand on end, your lips almost brushing against his neck. “Our texts, the late-night Facetime, they were real, right? I always looked forward to your texts. There was something real between us, right?”

Steven nodded as he reached out to pick up the chai tea packet and tore it open. He then dunked the tea bag into the water for you. You tried to catch his gaze as you leaned against the counter to gauge his reaction. He seemed lost in thought, rocking against the countertop and staring straight into space. Finally, he looked at you and began pouring out his emotions. "But I'm not real!" he exclaimed, his voice cracking. "How could you be happy with us? Marc said you'd be daft to care about someone as bonkers as us. He doesn't know why I told you about us in the first place. He thinks we should keep our distance..."

“Steven! Marc!” you exclaim, trying to break his downward spiral, physically turning him into you, your hands grabbing his arms, almost wanting to shake some sense into him “I don’t care! I do care! I mean-”

His lips crash on yours, and before you know it, your hands find his curls, still a little wet from earlier, and he’s leaning against you, his hands on either side of you on the counter. As your cheeks touch, you can feel the tears that spilled down his, dampening your own. As you feel him suck your lower lip, he moves his hands to your hips. After a second, he pulls back, his face tinted with blush, apologizing profusely, “Sorry-I-shouldn’t have- I never- Not like this-”

“It’s okay. It’s more than okay.” I smile, caressing his cheek before kissing him again softly, trying to convey how much you care while your lips move against his.

“We should have a sit-down, yeah?” Steven asked quietly after a minute. You grabbed your mugs and moved back to the couch to sit. Steven takes a bit sip of his tea before setting it down on the coffee table. “I didn’t realize I was created to help Marc until very recently-” he began, and you reached out and rested your hand over his. “The way I found out wasn’t ideal. It was actually pretty traumatic.” He looked over at his reflection on the TV, pausing the conversation as your heart raced.

“Is Marc saying something?” you question

“It’s like we can see and hear each other in reflections sometimes. I don’t know how it works, but it does.” Steven comments, still looking at the black TV screen, before turning to meet your gaze again, “You know we have D.I.D, but I never told you why-”

“Oh Steven, it’s okay, I don’t need to…,” you try to say, squeezing his hand as you set my mug of tea down by the VHS tape. Steven’s guard came down with a small sigh of relief. “Steven, you or Marc can tell me when you’re ready. It doesn’t need to be tonight. We can just hang out or something.”

“Thank you.” Steven smiled earnestly. He looked back down at Tomb Busters and grabbed the tape, “Marc says we need to watch this ‘cinematic masterpiece’ before we trash talk it.” 

He looked at the back of the VHS, reading the synopsis. “Here, you’ll find archaeologist Grant up to his neck in danger and -spiders- up to his kneecaps in crawling arachnids. Steven hates spiders!!” he hums and nods in agreement. “He hates Nazis, too, and he’ll stop at nothing to keep those goose-stepping goons from obtaining the mystical statue of Coyolxauhqui.”

“Sounds like Indiana, but he hates snakes.”

It takes a minute to set it up, but Tomb Buster is playing on the TV as you snuggle into Steven under a blanket. It was almost like Marc and Steven were watching the movie with you. Steven repeated Marc’s commentary as the film went on, and much to your enjoyment, Marc even confessed that the movie was indeed a lot cheesier now that he was watching it as an adult. You were surprised Marc didn’t front to watch it himself, but it seemed like he wanted Steven to have some sort of positive experience with his namesake on the tv.

It was easy to pick up on some of the mannerisms that belonged to both the Steven on screen, and the Steven that gradually shifted to holding you as the movie continued. You would give his hand a slight squeeze or kiss his cheek when something was recognized, hoping it wasn’t too much of a challenging experience to see Marc’s muse for Steven on screen, but if it was, he never lot on. The movie concluded with a hint of a sequel, but after a quick internet search, you find the sequel never made it past the writer’s room.

“Float like a butterfly, sting like a Bee. My name is Steven with a V.” Steven sighed, disappointed when the movie finished. “I thought I came up with that.”

“When did you say that?” you ask, looking up at him.

“A while ago.” he spoke, gazing at you tenderly, “Watching Dr. Grant was odd, but it wasn’t as weird as I thought it would be. Thank you for watching it with us.”

You smile at him and sit up, glancing at the clock on your phone. It was nearly midnight. “Do you have work in the morning?” I asked quietly

Steven shrugs it off, “Yeah, but I don’t sleep much, remember? I’d Facetime you until 2 am at least.”

“I remember. Seeing you lay in bed, I couldn’t help but think your chest would make a good pillow.” you admit, feeling your cheeks heat up at the confession, “and I was right.”

Steven's face flushed with a tinge of pink as he leaned forward and whispered in your ear, his lips brushing against your skin. "Can I kiss you again?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. You couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement in your chest. You nodded, leaning towards him, but he suddenly shifted his position, reaching for the spider plants nearby and hiding their googly-eyed expressions. "Don't need the spider plants watching us, do we?" he quipped, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You couldn't help but laugh at his comment, burying your head in his neck before your lips met again in another slow, passionate kiss. Steven seemed a little unsure of what to do with his hands, but he eventually rested them on your hips, his fingers trailing up and down your sides in a soft caress.

As you leaned your head against Steven's, you whispered breathlessly, "Maybe I don't need that spare key back after all."

You could feel his chest rumble with a soft chuckle as he responded, "Nah." He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close as your lips met once more, the world around you fading away as Steven held you in a sweet embrace.

[treehuggerfrvr]

Hazel Callahan x FigureSkater!Gf hcs

I do figure skating so I thought this would be cute :))

just cute things♡

you met when she kept intruding in your jump corner and eventually she noticed she was messing up your jumps and apologised, then offered to buy you a hot drink from the rink cafe to make up for it, and it all went from there

she shows up to all your shows/competitions with a sign that says "I ♡ my girlfriend" with your photo in the heart

watches intently when you're trying to learn something new and tries to give you pointers from an outsider's perspective the best she can

when you get off the ice she helps untie one of your skates' laces and clean it off and put it away while you do the other - she loves wiping off the built-up ice off the blade (it's so satisfying)

the two of you go ice skating together just for fun and she falls over a lot (she blames it on the rental skates)

if she's about to fall she clings onto you and almost makes you fall over too

she massages your muscles if they ache

when you teach her a trick on ice (like how to go backwards and simpler things like that), she teaches you some taekwondo later

if you have an injury, most likely on your ankle, she will not leave your side and will keep checking that you're okay

she always carries spare gloves in case you forget yours for the rink

she also always carries a spare lip balm incase you forget yours since you always complain about dry lips from the cold there

sometimes she mimicks your moves, especially spins or jumps, when you're just hanging out

she tries to convince you you're as good as olympic/professional skaters when you watch competitions together

she has a section of her notebook dedicated to figure skating and has colour-coded techniques and what they are and everything there is to know, along with the biggest names and celebrities in figure skating

she cheers you on if you fall trying to do some complicated move and gives you pep talks if you feel like giving up

she always tells you you look badass on the ice

she decided to buy herself skates and she bought hockey skates which suit her skating style better

once you decide to get off the rink, she waits at the side with your skate guards and your water bottle with a proud smile

you watch ice skating movies together and you point out what is accurate and what isn't

she buys you your favourite hot drink once you're done and ready to go home

you talk and gossip while you do stretches

you always share an annoyed glance when people, especially a little kid or hockey skater, skate through your jump corner and ruin your jump just as you were about to do it and you have to start over

she's one of those people who have a fear of falling over and someone skating over their hand

her mind is blown every time you spin - "how do you even spin that fast??"

her way of stopping is crashing into the wall

hope you enjoyed and if someone were to write a fic w a (any type of)skater!gf pls do let me know🤞

have a lovely day/afternoon/evening/night *mwah*

[pulisicz]

This is my official vote for the pulisic fic!!! Pls post Christian tonight I miss him so 😪

i see you in the stands - christian pulisic

cause somewhere in the crowd there’s you

summary - it’s christian’s first game back from the world cup, and he knew you wouldn’t be there, but can’t help but look for you.

pairing - christian pulisic x fem!reader

song inspo - super trouper (abba)

warnings! - none

word count - 600+

note - this is the chelsea v bournemouth game from dec 27. events from the game will be twisted, or just not accurate to fit the fic. the ending score for this fic is 3-0 instead of 2-0… so yeah

-

“hey, pulisic, you good?” ben yells from across the field.

christian had been caught up in his thoughts as he scanned the crowd. the game was just about to start, and although christian knew you had a last minute meeting at work, he couldn’t help but look for you, as he always did.

“yeah i’m good”

he took one more quick look around the stadium before running back to his team.

christian always said you were his lucky charm. every game you were there for, they won, and you were always more than happy to attend. sitting with the other girlfriends and wives was always so fun, and supporting your boyfriend meant the world to you.

-

fuck, 15 minutes…

you were caught up in the wonderful london traffic.

you were somehow able to talk your boss into postponing the meeting until tomorrow so you could support christian.

it was his first game back, and there was nothing you wanted more than to support him.

although your mind was going about 100 miles per second, the traffic was going about 0.

you were about to give up hope, but then cars started moving.

you took this short opportunity to get off in an exit, and hopefully, still get to the game in time for kick off.

-

somehow, you made it with 3 minutes to spare. you showed staff your pass and made it inside the stadium. you made your way to a seat near the bench, where the other girlfriends and wives were.

watching christian play was always something so special, and it was incredible to see him do what he loves.

except, right now, you couldn’t help but notice something was off. christian seemed different. he seemed more tense, and even a little frustrated.

you began to worry that maybe something had happened with one of the boys before the game, or if something happened with one of his friends.

christian has missed two shots already and it was only the 30th minute, and you felt more than bad for him. missing goals is never a good feeling, and christian would tend to beat himself up for it.

it was finally halftime, and you felt more than nervous, not for you, but for christian.

when it was time for the boys to come back out, you made sure to cheer extra loud. you could feel this half was going to be incredible. kai and mason has already scored, which is amazing, but you just hoped that bournemouth didn’t score.

-

christian was getting in position for the whistle blow to start second half, but he made sure to look over the crowd again, out of habit. he was

all of a sudden his eyes met yours. it was like a spark went off within him. was he dreaming? were you really there?

you gave him a wave and smiled, which just confirmed everything for christian.

the rest of the game, christian made sure to show out. at the 74th minute, he had scored, and at the 86th minute, he had blocked a goal.

the game soon came to an end, the final score being 3-0, chelsea, of course, won.

-

you were waiting with the other family members and partners of the players outside the locker room, and you couldn’t help but feel nervous, but not in a bad way. you knew christian would show you how surprised he was.

christian cake out of the locker room, and the second he looked at you, his entire face lit up.

“you weren’t gonna tell me you we’re gonna a come?” he asked as he wrapped one arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his embrace.

“it was a last minute thing”

christian couldn’t help but smirk. he looked down at you, and the two of you just enjoyed the small moment.

“you’re my lucky charm, y‘know?”

“oh am i?”

christian smiled, and leaned in, capturing you both in a soft, and loving kiss.

—

note 2 - i have been in such a writing slump, and i truly tried so hard to write this. i’m pretty happy with it, and i think it’s cute, but it is not my best work my any means. with that being said, i hope you enjoyed :)

[indigogvf]

Neglect

Authors note: This is my first ever fic, pls give some feedback but be nice :)

Summary: Reader wants some love.

Warnings: Allusions to sex, fluff and a little angst.

Jake got back from tour a month ago. It’s been a dream to be able to sleep in your bed together, have dinner together, and to just be together. But that was three weeks ago. Currently, you’re building the courage to ask Jake to not coop himself up in his home studio all day everyday. You get it, the new album is coming out soon and it needs to be finished. You’re proud of him and how hard he’s working, he’s so dedicated to making it perfect it’s admirable. But you feel neglected; in many ways. Most importantly, you feel like he’s not home. How stupid is that? He’s literally upstairs.

You make your way up to his studio, and knock on the door. You felt that maybe if you didn’t think about it too much that the words would find themselves. You were wrong. Standing in the doorway, he’s just asked you what you want. Fuck. You stared at him for a second, should you just be straight with him? Should you-

“Hello? You there, honey?” He stared back, waiting for you to say something. “Yeah.. sorry. Uh, when do you think you’ll be done?” He thought for a second, “I’m not sure. Probably not for a good few hours.” He looked back at you, eyebrows raised, waiting for you to explain. “Oh. Well, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something..” You were starting to panic slightly, not wanting him to take anything the wrong way. “Can we talk when I’m done?” He asked, awaiting your response. Brilliant. He proves your point without even trying.

His response triggered a spurt of upset and anger. How is he not feeling the same way? We’ve barely seen each other since he got home! You sighed, collecting yourself, “Sure. Yeah, whatever.” You turned around to let yourself out of the studio, stopping yourself when Jake called out; “Hey, what’s going on?” He’d now stood up from his seat, making his way over to you. “Nothing, it’s fine. Carry on with your work since it’s so important that you can’t even spare five minutes to talk to your girlfriend.” Shit. You shouldn’t have said that. “Excuse me? What are you talking about? Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?” He questioned, looking at you with a baffled look on his face.

You couldn’t back down now, especially since you’d finally found the courage to bring it up. “Yeah it is. But like I said, clearly your work is more important than this. You even proved it yourself two minutes ago, Jake.” You were getting angrier now, you hadn’t actually voiced these concerns to anyone, and had barely registered them yourself. “Stop. I can’t work with this when I don’t know what you’re talking about. Tell me what’s bothering you.” Of course he has to be reasonable. Why couldn’t he just shout back at me or something? “Sorry, it’s just that… since you got back from tour you’ve just been in your studio.. every single day. I get that this is important to you and I don’t want you to take it the wrong way. But, when was the last time we ate dinner together since you got back? The last time we had sex was nearly two weeks ago. Two weeks, Jake! You were gone for six months. It feels like you just visited me for a week and then left again.” Tears were welling in your eyes. You didn’t realise how much this was getting to you until now. Jake stared at you with a regretful glint in his eyes. He was obviously processing what you had just said, looking as if I had just spoken gibberish. He ran his hand through his hair,

“I.. uh.. fuck. Sorry, I just. You’re right and I’m so sorry, darling. I didn’t even realise, which sounds even worse now that I think about it… Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I would’ve dropped all of it for you if I had known, like I am now. I’m done for the day, and the rest of the week. I’m yours for the whole week. No work, just us. Okay?” He looked at you with a frown on his face, desperately waiting for you to say something. “I was worried you’d take it the wrong way…” The tears had not stopped, that’s for sure. You were so relieved that this was the outcome. “No, baby. You’re so right. I’ve been neglecting you and I’m so, so sorry. C’mon, why don’t we order some takeout and watch a movie together, yeah?” You smiled, you were stupid to think he’d react any differently than this. “Yeah, that sounds good. I love you,” He gently grabbed your face, and pulled you into a kiss, nothing too intense, but enough to let you know that he loves you more than anything, “I love you too. So much.”

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi hello my anglest angel!!! now that i have uh caught a breath from the knight!sugu fic (i went insane btw) i am here to talk about the songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE SO GOOD!!!!!! i know you said that you have Thoughts about them and now i am beggggging to hear more about those!!! please please please more knight!sugu n brat!reader crumbs i loved them so much

THE SECOND GOODBYE MY DANISH SWEETHEART STARTED PLAYING IT JUST CONJURED UP THE PRETTIEST CASTLE AND I WAS ALREADY IN THE STORY I LOVED IT SO MUCH

there’s nobody better than you // it took me a while till i knew // but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you? // it just took me a while till i knew

sad face emoji sugu the all-knowing-one sighhhhh oh i adore him so much ari i nEED TO HUG HIM

I LOVE RISES THE MOON AAAAAAAA I LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH i think it fits the reader so fucking well. it's such a good pick for them. the little lamb the little fox. sigh they're very dear to me already.

btw i just realized that i asked moss a while ago for their knight!sugu songs and "tongues and teeth" was one of the songs!!!!!! idk if u happened to see that but if not then this is a very cute little coincidence it's the knight hivemind!!!!

i’ve grown a mouth so sharp and cruel // it’s all that i can give to you, my dear // and when you come in quick to steal a kiss // my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear

THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH THIS FITS THEM SO WELL WHAT

no but overall all of these songs were perfect for them i listened to the playlist multiple times and then i listened to classical music lmao don't ask it fit surprisingly well OKAY BUT NOW DON'T HOLD BACK ON ME!!!!! (THREAT!!!! VERY SERIOUS THREAT!!!) I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'RE HIDING IN YOUR BRAIN ABOUT THEM LAY IT ALL ON ME SWEETHEART I'M GIDDY I'M EXCITED I'M READY!!! LOVE YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS<33333

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY I’M HERE I’M HERE I’M FINALLY HERE 😭😭😭 pls ignore the fact that i’m many months late ok my brain refuses to cooperate with me sometimes but i’ve been soso excited to answer this properly!!!! this got . Extremely long. like. actually. i got VERY carried away . i’m sorry i genuinely can’t stfu when it comes to them <///3

anyway !!!!! knight!sugu & bratty royal!reader our beloveds :333

first off!!!! i’m sooo glad to hear you enjoyed the songs 🥺🥺🥺 and that you got knight!sugu/royalty!reader vibes from them too!!!!! i’m just gonna get right into it bc we have . a Lot to discuss 😭😭 i really didn’t hold back in the slightest AND ON THAT NOTE pls just know that there’s literally zero pressure to reply to this at all, esp since it’s so late!!! i’m so happy just knowing you think of these silly little guys 🥺 i love you soooo much my sweetest little kitty cat mwah MWAHH <333

goodbye, my danish sweetheart

MY FAVORITE MITSKI SONG EVER EVER EVERRR and honestly i think it fits the fic more than any other song on this list . like. just the vibes + instrumentals alone are sooo perfect for a royalty au…. it sounds nostalgic and bittersweet and very tender . and the LYRICS 😵‍💫😵‍💫ohhhh my fucking god mickey . i’m gonna need to go through them one by one but they just … make me think of royalty!reader so much . how they just want to be accepted. the feelings of inferiority …. the belief that nobody can love them as they are . :(((

there's nobody better than you // it took me a while 'til i knew // but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you? // it just took me a while 'til i knew now i lay as i study a blank wall // would you spare me your voice if i call? // ’cause you waited and watered my heart 'til it grew // you can see how it’s blossomed for you

THIS IS SOOOO READER @ SUGU. he’s the one who keeps pushing and fighting for a connection between them and reader keeps resisting until they just . can’t. and they really do think there’s nobody better than their knight !! nobody stronger or kinder. they love him sm :(((( every time they call for him he’s there. and he waters their tiny little heart until it’s not afraid to flourish anymore…..

there’s some kind of burning inside me // it’s kept me from falling apart // and i’m sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart // but it's kept me from falling apart

AND THEN THIS . oughhh . :(((( this is both royalty!reader AND knight!sugu…… they both keep their true self at arm’s lenght to protect themselves. and they both cling to something rotten to keep themselves intact. in reader’s case they cling to the idea of themself as a spoiled, bratty, scummy royal — cling to the anger and bitterness they feel . and suguru clings to knighthood. it burns him but it makes him feel alive. it’ll turn him to ashes but he doesn’t mind. etectc.

strawberry blonde

aaaand then another mitski banger :33 i picked this one mostly based on vibes !!! the instrumental just sounds like it could fit into this au … the more peaceful scenes between the two . but the lyrics are also just brimming with devotion and adoration..

i love everybody because i love you // when you stood up, walked away barefoot // and the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape // i looked over it and i ached i love it when you call my name // can you hear the bumblebees swarm? // watching your arm // i love it when you look my way

IT’S PERFECT BECAUSE . i think the lyrics work both ways !!! i can see both sets of lyrics being from reader’s pov; loving suguru makes it easier for them to love the world . they want him to call them by name. but it also works well from sugu’s pov…. he aches for them and yearns to follow them . he loves it when they call his name, too. they’re both yearners…. what can i say…..

rises the moon

ANOTHER VIBE-BASED SONGGG i also love this one mickey … it’s so beautiful and soothing :((( i imagine it playing during the scene where suguru shares a bit of his past with reader . sitting by the windowsill in their room as the moon glows….. and then he carries them to bed and tucks them in :) i can picture him humming them to sleep with this song.

oh-oh, close your weary eyes // i promise you that soon the autumn comes // to darken fading summer skies you’ll be visited by sleep // i promise you that soon the autumn comes // to steal away each dream you keep breathe, breathe, breathe

and the lyrics are just ???? soooo incredibly soothing. i think knight!sugu brings a lot of peace into reader’s life . they feel very safe with him. and the mentions of dreams and seasons feel fitting, since those are motifs in the fic :3

honestly !! i associate a lot of my character/reader pairings with seasons …. especially this one though. i’m also always thinking about your little knight and prince and how he’s the summer to their spring :3 in my case i think suguru is probably reader’s autumn!! a bridge that softens the gap between summer and winter…. he gives them stability and comfort. and they give him both summer and winter. he meets them right in the middle <33

tongues & teeth

HEAVY BREATHING …… this one is a Must for any knight character or pairing . any character who views themself as a monster . I DID SEE THIS ON MOSS’S PLAYLIST TOO AND THEY’RE SO BIGBRAINED FOR THAT !!!!! it’s just… oughh. i think i mostly associate this one with suguru’s rampage after reader gets kidnapped but the lyrics are more readercoded !!!!

i’ve grown a mouth so sharp and cruel // it’s all that i can give to you, my dear // and when you come in quick to steal a kiss // my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear oh, i will ruin you // it’s a habit, i can't help it // i know that you mean so well // but i am not a vessel for your good intent i will only break your pretty things // i will only wring you dry of everything // but if you're fine with that // if you're fine with that…

IT’S ABOUT . the violence . and tenderness. a person who thinks they’ll bring this brighter, kinder, more ”pure” person nothing but pain . reader assumes they’re too much for anyone to handle so they keep everyone at arm’s lenght . i think they view the people they admire as paintings. and they’re convinced they’ll smudge the canvas if they get too close . but deep down they want to be accepted, claws and all :(((

and suguru does!!! they both accept each other as they are . a fox and a wolf. suguru will let reader bite and hiss and claw at him as much as they need. he won’t love them any less . and reader sees suguru covered in blood, manic and frenzied, and still only thinks about how beautiful he is . how nice their name sounds when it’s falling from his lips . they don’t love each other despite their flaws or because of their flaws . they just like each other. scratch marks and all . i’m normal abt them btw

the garden

THIS ONE 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 MICKEYYYY HOLD MY HAND. this one is almost TOO perfect . i love the crane wives and so many of their songs would fit super well into this fic …. but this one is just . insane . the album cover even has a little fox 🥺 BUT AAA JUST . the instrumental and the LYRICS … i’m gonna need to really pick them apart because they’re so unbelievably perfect for royalty!reader i’m going to. scream.

the crows in the garden are laughing at my expense // drowning out all the lies that i might have told instead

OK SOOO . crows . are a bit of a motif in the fic. crows remind me a lot of suguru maybe that’s why. then there’s also the garden, which is mentioned a lot in the fic too!! all the flower imagery…

but . here’s the thing. royalty!reader is a Liar. they lie. they wear a mask. they’re not honest with their own self and not with anyone else either. and they assume everyone is looking down on them. i can picture them looking out into the garden, seeing those free crows, and imagining their cawing as mocking laughter . it drowns out the sound of their own lies . (crumbles to the floor)

my stone // my shield, my steady hand // hold your light // to the darkness in my head

AND THIS ONE . THIS ONEEEE

mickey ….. grabs your shoulders. i know you’ll see the vision. this is royalty!reader @ knight!sugu and it makes me . Ache . very deeply. he’s their stone. their shield, their steady hand. he holds a light to the darkness in their head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oughhhh they make me insane 😔😔😔 i think reader holds a light to suguru’s darkness too though . it’s more subtle with him but i wrote the fic with the idea that reader saves knight!suguru from his destined doom. he grows to care more for them than knighthood, which saves him from his fate, which is. breaking under the pressure of knighthood. you Get me. you must choose love Every Time.

put your ear to my heart or set your teeth against my throat // give me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes

this one is just . really fitting right??? i guess this one is more knight!sugu coded though . i can imagine him returning to the castle after a bloody duel and getting patched up by a worried little reader :((( they give him a clean blouse . maybe bite his throat a little . who knows .

…. i think they also really love the sound of his heartbeat. it helps them sleep :3

get on your knees and // dig up the garden // won’t you throw down that spade and // dig up the garden, darling? // get your hands dirty and // rip up the garden // won’t you cut down that apple tree for me?

and finally This …….. i think the garden is like. a Metaphor . you know how it is . something something reader is a flower growing under the soil…. suguru has to dig their heart up…. etcetc. but i also love the devotion of it all . the loyal knight gets on his knees and digs and digs at his lord’s request. he’s eternally devoted to their joy.

my love is sick

dies . explodes .

mickey this song …. this goddamn song….. oughhh i love madds buckley sm :((((( she’s so good!!! i adore this song and i think it fits very well for both of them but especially royalty!reader…. it goes back to the whole thing where . they think they’re unloveable. their love is ”sick.” but they still crave tenderness and companionship……

my love is sick // it’s messy and wrong // but i pray for a bit of contagion // hands without fingers // like spoons at the source // coat evenly // oh, won’t you touch me? you’re an infection // i am keeping // no matter the sepsis // you are staying my love is sick // it’s taken me whole // i’m simply a host to a haunting // ghosts without corpses // still linger in flesh // holding on to a love they keep wanting

THESE LYRICS ARE JUST . soooo good. so good. the idea that they view their love as messy and wrong but still want him to touch them . they view him as an infection because intimacy scares them so much but they still don’t want him gone.

and then the final line ….. ”holding on to a love they keep wanting”…….. yeahhh . suguru and reader are both afraid to bare their hearts to one another but they keep holding onto that love anyway.

anything, anything, anything

aaaand then finally!!! another madds buckley song :33 this one is ADORABLE and it’s just . dripping with devotion and adoration !!!! i guess i see it almost as a post-fic song ??? like. after the final scene. the culmination of their relationship. it encompasses their love for each other really really well and the lyrics are just so sweet 🥺🥺

honey, i hate wine // but i’d gladly down a bottle of your name // just to get another taste of you // a single drop not on my tongue would be a waste and i hate mornings // but i like waking next to you // you always wake up before i do // so i can sleep in your embrace and i hate time // the minutes shared will never last enough // no amount of time will ever be too much // and parting leaves a bitter taste

THESE LYRICS ….. soooo royalty!reader. they’re a little sap but they don’t want to admit it!!!! i think their love comes down to making Exceptions. like. suguru is their exception. they hate wine but they’d drink some if he brewed it for them. they hate mornings but wake up early just to get a glimpse of his sleeping face . they hate time, but cherish the clock-ticks they spend with him. they’re a little softie and i love them :(((((

we burn like gentle firewood // we yearn like vines and leaves // and we settle in the comfort of // the bones that rest beneath // and i’d stop staying home and wasting time // to keep your soul with mine

THIS IS BOTH OF THEMMMM. they burn and yearn and settle in the comfort between each other…… they’d stop staying home and stop wasting time to keep each other close .

i’d do anything, anything, anything // anything, anything, anything…

this is really like . the Core of the fic i think. especially on knight!suguru’s side . he’d do anything. there’s something very gentle and tender about this repetition and it makes me wanna cry. sniffle . i adore them mickey :((((( he’d do anything for themmmmm

BUTTTT OKAY . songs aside…… the reason it took me so long to answer this (faulty brain aside) is that i really wanted to include some siken poems for you too :’3 since his poetry inspired me sooo much when i was writing the fic!!! and so many of them are knight!sugu +/ royalty!reader coded….

i’m just gonna go through the ones that remind me of them the most !!!! :33

the way the light reflects

title of the fic was snatched right from this so ofc i had to include it 🫡🫡

the paint doesn’t move the way the light reflects, so what’s there to be faithful to? i am faithful to you, darling. i say it to the paint.

i think this. encompasses the fic. i really do. the paint and the light. the Faith. what’s there to be faithful to? well, the knight by your side has something to say. if reader is faithful to the paint then he is faithful to Them. he’s made out of it. and all reader wants is for someone to have faith in them. they’re the paint, and suguru’s the light.

i paint in his face and i paint it out again. there is a question i am afraid to ask: to supply the world with what?

and this … royalty!reader is really . confused i think. to supply the world with what? what’s their purpose? what good can someone do when they’re stuck in a castle? they don’t know, so they keep painting. and maybe that’s enough.

…. i can’t remember if i mentioned this to you before but. i imagine that reader paints suguru a Lot once the events of the fic are over. as in…… eventually a corner of their room is dedicated to him and no one else . he’s very embarrassed about it. cutie <333

portrait of fryderyk in shifting light

THIS POEM . richard siken when i fucking catch you. it’s one of my absolute favorites of his and it…. really really REALLY helped me write some scenes 😭 especially the one where reader is painting. the writing is just so beautiful and flows so well. and it fits the themes of the fic perfectly !!

i sussed the gesso into foam and white roses, stalling. i troubled the shadows and silvered his edges. what can you know about a person? they shift in the light.

silvered his edges …. something something royalty!reader @ knight!sugu . BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING …. what can you know about a person? they shift in the light. that’s another quote that really gets to the core of the fic i think….!!! both sugu and reader aren’t what they seem to be. they shift in the light!!!

i find the parts that overlap with mine and light them up in clayd and creams, yellow music singing pink, the flicker of his mouth a purple rust. his face congeals as he settles in. his hair is bronze in here, not gold: walnut, bark, and cinnamon, chipped brick tipped in ink.

OUGHHHHHH AGAIN I’M JUST . so . enamored with the way he writes 💔💔💔 the colours…. the paint……. this is what goes through reader’s head when they’re painting suguru

difficult, to be confronted with the fact of yourself. opaque in the sense of finally solid, in the sense of see me, not through me.

SEE ME NOT THROUGH ME 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 yeah. reader wants to be Seen but not Discovered. suguru does both. he sees them and sees through them and stays anyway. it’s difficult to accept yourself but he does it for them. he sees the wolf and the lamb and the little fox beneath !!!! and reader sees him for the kind wolf that he is :333

litany in which certain things are crossed out

h … heavy breathing …. another of my favorite siken poems . this one was my absolute fav for a while….. it’s a really long one and there are just . soo many lines that reminds me of them!!! :((((

of course, she wakes the dragon. love always wakes the dragon and suddenly flames everywhere. i can already tell you think i’m the dragon, that would be so like me, but i’m not. i’m not the dragon. i’m not the princess either. (…) okay, so i’m the dragon. big deal. you still get to be the hero. you get magic gloves! a fish that talks! you get eyes like flashlights! what more do you want?

THE DRAGON/PRINCESS IMAGERYYYY. LOVE ALWAYS WAKES THE DRAGON !!!!!!! reader views themselves as The Dragon while suguru views them as The Princess . he’s The Hero obviously. i think reader is bitter towards suguru at the beginning for a Lot of reasons but one of them is jealousy. knights are domesticated creatures so they aren’t exactly Free but . they have more freedom than a chained royal . they get to run around in the forest and by the sea and they get to see the world :((( what more could he want?

you said i could have anything i wanted, but i just couldn’t say it out loud.

throws up blood . yeah . the knight offers his lord anything they wish for but they can’t say what they truly wish for . they can’t push the words out of their mouth .

forget the dragon, leave the gun on the table, this has nothing to do with happiness.

EXPLODES !!!!!!!! one of my favorite siken lines Ever. idk it’s just the vibes . i know you’ll understand mickey!!!!!!!! forget the dragon, this has nothing to do with happiness……

i want more applesauce. i want more seats reserved for heroes. dear forgiveness, i saved a plate for you. quit milling around the yard and come inside.

🥺🥺🥺 this line is so…. pretty. and hopeful. it makes me think more of knight!sugu than reader because i think he’s done many things he can’t forgive himself for . but the forgiveness he yearns for is just within reach . all he needs is a push. and i think reader more than anyone wants the better things in life — for themselves and for their knight.

suguru is passive in his suffering, but reader is willing to reach for what they want. and i think that inspires him. quit milling around the yard and come inside!!!!!! stupid silly knight >:((

unfinished duet

this is knight!suguru’s anthem . boy oh boy do i have thoughts about this ……

he wants to be tender and merciful. that sounds overly valorous. sounds like penance. and his hands? his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. him being you.

heavy breathing …. he wants to be tender and merciful. sounds like penance. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i have …. soooo many thoughts about knight!suguru but the center of his character really is Guilt. shame. he wants to repent for things he can’t remember doing. knights are meant to be ashamed . it’s the catholic in them i think

then there’s the bird line ….. as much as he pushes and pushes for that connection, he’s just as scared as reader is when it comes to intimacy!! his hands turn into birds and fly away from them . he’s afraid of crossing a line or boundary. i tried to show it in the fic but like …. he’s very particular about certain things . he’s willing to bend certain rules (esp later when his devotion starts sticking more to his lord than his knighthood) but he’s Very firm about other things . like not calling them by name at first . it’s a little… too much for him. knights really have to tiptoe that line.

…. there’s this one arthurian work that i love. that you’ve definitely heard about bc it’s so popular + they made a movie out of it and i don’t think it was a good adaptation but it was soooooo so good as a movie . gawain and the green knight….. I DON’T WANNA RAMBLE TOO MUCH BUT UM. i love the arthuriana :333 and i’m mentioning this story because gawain is tested on his value as a knight right. there’s a whole thing about how he kisses a man’s wife because it’d be impolite to deny the lady’s wishes (rejecting her would go against his honour as a knight), but he can’t sleep with her because that would go against … his honour as a knight. it’s a whole. purity thing. you need to be chivalrous but also chaste. so knight!sugu acts all charming and flirty but when reader wants him to cross the line between them he’s like 😳 yeah. he’s . a silly little guy .

what did you really want? someone to pass this with me. you wanted more.

cries . throws up . this is both knight!sugu and royalty!reader actually …. they limit themselves because they don’t think they capable of / allowed to have the thing they really want :(((( just having somebody by their side is enough for now….

was there no one else? his hands keep turning into birds, and his hands keep flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

…. yeahhhh . 😔😔 yeah . sorry this poem is wrecking me a little . eventually the birds must land!!!! knight!suguru can resist and royalty!reader can resist in kind but one day that distance Will be breached. they’re doomed to fall (positive).

snow and dirty rain

and finally …. this beast . it’s the final poem of siken’s crush collection and it goes…. insanely hard. soooo many lines here remind me of them mickey :((((( it’s sickening actually . just a little push more and then you’re free 🫂🫂🫂 here is a drink for u to sip while reading i made it just for you ☕️

we can do anything. it’s not because our hearts are large, they’re not, it’s what we struggle with.

OUGHHH . yeah . knight!sugu and royalty!reader both have pretty small hearts but they’re kinda…. overfilled . i think . they both struggle with kindness despite wanting to Do Good .

my dragonfly, my black-eyed fire, the knives in the kitchen are singing for blood, but we are the crossroads, my little outlaw, and this is the map of my heart, the landscape after cruelty which is, of course, a garden, which is a tenderness, which is a room, a lover saying hold me tight, it’s getting cold.

….. i just realized every single one of these quotes is gonna wreck me entirely . I’M JUST???? THIS IS THEM?!????? IT WAS MADE FOR THEM?????? MY DRAGONFLY MY BLACK-EYED FIRE. MY LITTLE OUTLAW. the landscape after cruelty which is OF COURSE a garden which is OF COURSE a tenderness which is OF COURSE a room of sleeping lovers. tenderness is a garden . etcetc.

we have not touched the stars, nor are we forgiven, which brings us back to the hero’s shoulders and a gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.

just kill me actually . i wrote some of these lines here wayyyy back when you first sent this ask so being forced to read them again is . hurting me mickey 😭😭😭 FOR THE RECORD. this one is extremely knight!reader/prince!toru coded. the gentleness that comes not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it… yeahhh. you get me.

you said tell me about your books, your visions made of flesh and light and i said this is the moon. this is the sun. let me name the stars for you.

🥺🥺🥺 reader asks about his life and visions and dreams . and suguru tells them about the moon and the sun and the constellations ….. ”let me name the stars for you.” <- SUCH a sugu thing to say. i can’t stand him . he’s so devoted it hurts when i think about him

we were in the gold room where everyone finally gets what they want, so i said what do you want, sweetheart? and you said kiss me.

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😵‍💫😭😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 KISS ME . this is literally the final scene between them . under the stars. suguru asks what they want and all they want is a kiss. THE SWEETHEART …… lowkey his favorite petname. i’m partial to it. they go through all the suffering and growing together and finally arrive at the gold room. where they get what they want. and all they want is each other . (sound of muffled sobbing)

we are all just trying to be holy. my applejack, my silent night, just mash your lips against me. we are all going forward. none of us are going back.

and finally …… this 💔💔💔 it’s just . perfect. it’s so hopeful and it makes me so emotional. just mash your lips against me; none of us are going back. even though they were both born for doom there’s a bright future ahead of them :’3

OKAY I’M DONE . FINALLY . if you read all this then just know i’m smothering you in kisses…. i’m doing that regardless though . i love you!!!! thank you for loving them with me!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 i hope this was a fun read despite the wait </3

[xhanisai]

ma'am. pls spare some fav mariblanc headcanon or ideas.

I have a WIP of a fic from a long time ago that I'll post in the future once I've edited it! Here's a sneak peek!

Prompt: Ever since cleansing the dystopian timeline, Marinette thought this was the last that she'll come across Chat Blanc. However, little did she know that no matter how powerful creation was, it can never smother the timbers of destruction since it isn't its nature to erase. And thus her Chaton from the destroyed timeline merged with her Chaton in her timeline as one person. Every time he transformed, he was always dressed in Blanc.

.

"So far from what I've gathered, I literally cannot tell you what happened in my timeline...as if there's some force that's keeping me from saying it all at once. But I can slightly clue you in to a specific direction," Chat Blanc mused, staring up at the pristine moon with melancholy swimming in his eyes, leaning upon the railings of the balcony whilst Marinette stood by his side.

The girl wordlessly observed him, mesmerised by the way the wind gently brushed through his snow white hair and the way the once crazed icy blues were now a gentle ocean at night. It was still quite hard to swallow, the fact that he is her Chaton but at the same time, a version that has experienced more in a lifetime she wasn't in.

"What is it like? Remembering memories from the future timeline as your civilian self and only being transformed as...well...as Chat Blanc? And then remembering everything when you're transformed, only to not be able to tell me all of it and then forget once you're detransformed whilst still trying to remember? ...I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense," Marinette couldn't help but pinken under his sweet gaze, barely comprehending the love and devotion that twinkled in the very eyes that used to haunt her dreams.

She knew that her partner was madly in love with her...but now it seemed to pale in comparison with the way he watched her. Gently, Chat Blanc tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and then trailed his hand to her cheek, cupping the soft, heated flesh.

"I'm your partner. Sense or no sense, I can always understand what you're trying to say." His expression turned to one of jest, a mischievous glint now in his eyes. "Well, when you're not lying and running away about your true feelings that is~" He chuckled at her scoffs of protests, bringing her into his arms. Marinette didn't even bother to show resistance, more than delighted to be held in his warmth but too stubborn to admit it.

It didn't matter. He knew anyways.