#PostPartum

[pilalaphillip]

Really wanted to draw Jayce after having his babies.

Small AU lore rambles I guess je.

TINY BABIESSS AAAA

[strnilolover]

⌞ i love you, more than you’d ever know ⌝

summary : after you birth your child, chris is there to help you when you can’t do things on your own.

warnings : mentions of blood. slight crying. slight angst. comfort. postpartum care. reader being weak to do things on her own. chris being an absolute sweetheart. newdad!chris. newmom!reader. nothing else? let me know if i missed anything.

you were so sore and tired.

hours of labor and contractions and pushing, left your body absolutely weak and your mind exhausted.

forty-eight hours has passed since you were in the delivery room—legs propped up as you held onto chris’ hand for dear life. squeezing it when the pain became too much, his lips kissing your head—soothing you.

forty-eight hours since you birthed your daughter into the world.

chris never left your side—during your whole pregnancy, during your labor—making sure you knew you could do it and that you weren’t alone. and even now, his body sat next to you as you laid in your hospital bed. thumb caressing your knuckles as he kept a keen eye on you, making sure you were okay.

“how are you feeling baby?” his voice was soft, cutting through the comfortable silence in the room. you hummed, eyes fluttering open to look at him. you shifted slightly—only to wince at the ache in your lower abdomen.

“sore…and kind of gross.” you admitted, looking away from him. he frowned, reaching a free hand up to turn your face back to him. “is there anything you need?” his tone was still soft, no rush behind his words.

you sat there for a moment, looking at him, before nodding your head. “yeah…i-i need to go to the bathroom. but i don’t even know if i can stand on my own.” you whispered, feeling a dull ache in your chest at your own helplessness.

chris smiled, standing from his chair before gripping your hand a little tighter—his free hand coming down to tug the covers slowly off of you before coming to rest on your lower back. “let me help you, love. you don’t have to do anything, i’ll take care of you, okay?” he murmured.

you smiled weakly, at his words, letting him help you. he was careful as he helped you sit up, making sure to steady you once both of your feet planted themselves on the tiled floor. your legs trembled beneath yourself, but chris made sure to hold you. “i’ve got you baby, i promise.” he cooed. slowly, he took a step back, encouraging you to follow with a small step forward.

soon enough, he lead you into the small hospital bathroom in your room. when you reached the toilet, you grabbed the railing provided—chris crouching on one knees as his hands softly slid up your sides. “may i?” he asked, his eyes seeking yours for permission, and you nodded. he smiled, slowly grabbing the postpartum underwear and tugging it down.

he reached a hand up for you to take, guiding you to sit down before letting go, letting his hands rest on your thighs. “i’ll give you a second okay?” he said, rubbing small circles into your knee.

but as he went to stand up, you could feel the uncomfortable rush of blood running out of you—sticky, damp and uncomfortable between your legs. you swallowed hard at the feeling, suddenly feeling embarrassed. you cleared your throat a little, hand reaching out to snag at chris’ sleeve before he could walk away. “chris?..”

he turned back, brows furrowing as he crouched right back down to your eye level. “what is it, love?” he asks quietly, his thumbs brushing over your skin once more. you felt your face heat—you didn’t know why you felt embarrassed, maybe it was the vulnerability of the moment—or how helpless you were. you weren’t sure. “there’s…a lot of blood.” you whispered.

and chris nodded, not even hesitating before standing up to reach for your bag that had been placed in the bathroom when you arrived. “i know, sweetheart. it’s okay, here-“ he murmured, digging through the bag as he pulled out a peri bottle and the pads you made at home.

standing up once more, he filled the bottle with warm water, grabbing a cloth in the process. when he turned his attention back to you, he was smiling. “-open your legs baby, think you can you do that for me?” he asked, gently tugging your legs apart, encouraging you as you nodded once more.

your stomach twisted with nerves, but chris’ face wasn’t turned up in disgust—no—it was filled with care, and love.

carefully, he positioned the bottle, squeezing the warm liquid to help clean away any of the blood. and once he felt as though it was enough, he reached for the warm rag, slowly wiping away at your sensitive area until you were clean.

he leaned down, pressing a few light kisses to your legs. “you’re so strong baby. carrying and bringing our little girl into this world—pushing through everything that was thrown at you.” he said, reaching over for one of your makeshift pads. you felt your chest tighten at his words, your eyes burning. “chris..” you whispered, on the verge of spilling over.

he smiled, hands grabbing each of your ankles to feed them through the leg holes, helping you into your clothes with careful movements. “you did so well, ma. and you still are.”

he was so, so caring…you didn’t deserve it. your heart pounded at his words, at his praises.

once chris was done, he gently helped you up, pulling the garments the rest of the way and flushing the toilet for you before guiding you back out of the bathroom and right back into your bed.

he tucked you in, making sure the blankets covered you just the right way and in all the right areas before he sat kind of behind you. his warm palms made contact with your back, his hands gently putting pressure. “can i give you a massage, sweetheart? wanna make sure you feel good.” and you nodded, bracing yourself for the slight discomfort with the aching muscles.

his hands began to kneed the flesh, digging into all the right areas—at just the right pressure. his lips brushed over your shoulders, tracing down the top of your spine as his hands continued to work into your flesh—his fingers moving in careful circles. “i love you so much baby. i don’t think ill ever be able to put into words, how proud i am of you and what you’ve done.” he whispered in between pecks.

“i love you too—ugh—that feels so good.” you groaned, slightly leaning your body back into him. he chuckled, hands smoothing over the knots in your muscles. “i’d do this all the time for you, knowing it makes you feel better.” he admitted, hands moving to your arms and any other area on your body he thought might be sore—which was everywhere.

you weren’t sure how much time had passed. but, by the time he was done, you felt like your body might just melt into a puddle on the mattress.

“okay,” he said, reaching a hand around to brush his knuckle over your cheek. “i think you’re ready for a shower. do you think you’re ready for one baby?” he asked, bringing his hands down and wrapping them around you, hugging your body to his chest.

you sighed, melting into his body. “yeah..i think i am. i feel gross still—all the sweat and stuff.” you muttered. “alrighty, up we go.” chris’ body is already moving like it had been all day, always one step ahead. holding his hands out for you like he did earlier, you grabbed them, moving your legs over the side of the bed and stood—his body carrying most of your weight to make this easier for you.

you tried to step too fast, accidentally wobbling forward on your feet making you gasp loudly. luckily, chris caught you, holding you in his arms before helping you up right again. “whoa, careful ma. don’t want you getting hurt, okay? take it slow.” he reassured, treading backwards as he tugged you forward slowly—just as he did earlier.

once you reached the bathroom, he sat you down on the closed lid of the toilet, quickly turning on the shower to a nice warm temperature before going into the main room, grabbing a nice pair of pajamas from your bag. along with those, he grabbed another homemade pad, laying it out with your clothes on the counter.

when he came back in front of you, he beamed down at you—eyes softening even more as he looked at you like you were the only thing in the world. “up baby.” he said, holding his hands out for you to take.

and you did, grabbing them and standing.

“is it okay if i take your clothes off, love?” he asked, and you nodded, letting out another content sigh. “yes..yes you can.” and with that, he slowly undid the string to your hospital gown, letting the fabric slide down your body before moving to help you out of your bottoms.

once you were discarded if your clothes, his soon followed. gently, he helped you step into the shower. the moment the water hit your skin, a deep sigh—more like a moan—left your lips. the steam wrapped around you like a warm blanket, making your body relax and your eyes flutter closed.

before you could think of anything else, chris stepped in under the water and pulled you into his chest—his arms wrapped around you tightly. for a moment, neither of you moved, like he knew what you needed. he just held you, resting his chin on top of your head, his hands splayed out over your back.

it was quite for a long while, just the sound of water hitting the tiled floor was heard, along with the chatter of nurses in your room watching the baby while you were both in the bathroom. the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it was—content. warm.

then finally, chris spoke once more.

“i’ve never been prouder of anyone in my life, you know?” he whispered, voice barely audible over the sound of the pattering water, but you could hear the emotion in his voice. “you’ve given me everything i could’ve ever wanted in life. your love, your time, your patience, our child.” his voice tightened, arms tightening just a little more.

“you’re so amazing…the love of my life. the mother of my child—my wife. i couldn’t have asked for any other stronger woman in my life.” you felt your throat tighten, your fingers curling around his forearms. “chris, i-“ your words cut off with a small choked sob.

his hands slid up to cup your face, thumbs brushing away the falling tears. “you don’t ever have to feel embarrassed, or weak, or anything less than incredible.” he kissed your forehead, hips lips lingering as his words brushed against your skin. “you’re doing so well, love. so, so well.”

and that’s when the tears started flowing. your face was hot as sobs wracked through your body. you didn’t deserve someone like him in your life, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. gently, through blurry eyes, you reached up—grabbing his face between your hands before bringing his lips to your own. the kiss was slow, filled with so much emotion you felt as though you could choke.

but you didn’t.

chris held you once more, cradling your own face in his hands as he reciprocated the kiss, tilting your head to the side to kiss you deeper. and when you pulled away, he let his lips travel, kissing away the tears slipping down your face as your eyes noticed his own clinging to his skin.

“i l-love you so much.” you choked out, looking up at him. he smiled, letting a few more tears slip down his face before he whispered. “i love you. more than you’d ever know.”

and with that, he gave you another peck on the head before he reached for your shampoo, popping open the cap as you wiped your face—sniffling a few times. carefully he poured the soap in his hands, then brought it to your hair, massaging it into your scalp gently. his fingers were slow, making sure not to snag on the wet strands.

he washed every inch of you, his touch never straying from being careful and loving. by the time he had turned off the water you felt lighter—cleaner, yes, but also safe.

chris stepped out first, grabbing your towel and wrapping it around you before he grabbed his own. he focused on you first, drying you off from head to toe before reaching for the pad on the counter and slipping your legs through it. he grabbed your pajamas next, slipping them onto your body and making sure you were all good before he dressed himself.

once you were both situated, he helped guide you back out into the room—the nurses who were there politely excusing themselves as chris brought you back to bed. helping you in and tucking your body under the covers once more before he climbed in next to you.

he pulled you into his arms, pressing yet another kiss to your hair. “sleep baby.” he murmured. “i’ll be here when you wake up.” and you did, your mind and body not bothering to fight the exhaustion. and with chris helping you all day, it put you more at ease.

as you drifted off to sleep you could hear your daughter cry, but your hazy mind felt the bed shift and chris’ voice carry through the room before you finally fell asleep.

“daddy’s got you sweetheart—my precious girl.”

a/n : thank you so much for 2k! i love you all so so so much! <3

[inspoxjournal]

This feeling✨️

[lalabubaby]

Curly mullet ✔️ Short shorts ✔️ Lalabu Dad Shirt ✔️

The trifecta we never knew we needed 🤩 

The first babywearing shirt designed with the dad bod in mind. Get yours HERE and join the Lalabu movement ❤️

[lexirosewrites]

For slick sunday, I’m having big Steve Feelings and I needed to share them. This is fully inspired by your post and others about Steve being so happy and in love with his first born baby that he starts crying because he doesn’t get how his parents didn’t love him.

What if, after the immediate high of birth fades, O!Steve develops postpartum depression but doesn’t know that, all he knows is that he was so excited for his baby and suddenly he doesn’t feel connect to them anymore. (He’s also feeling less connected to /everyone/ but he’s so focused on the pup that he doesn’t realize that for a while.)

He panics, obviously, because he was so sure that his parents not loving him was a them issue, that he would be different. He and Eddie were so excited to be parents, he was so happy right after he gave birth and when he held his little baby for the first time. What happened, is he broken? Are Harringtons cursed to hate their children?

He puts on a really good show of pretending nothing is wrong. Such a good show that Eddie doesn’t even notice - though that’s also from his new father exhaustion, he forgets to put socks on most days so it’s not his fault. Robin is the first one to notice. She had been away for work and had been calling all the time to talk but she had finally been able to go home. She didn’t even go to her house, she went to Steve and Eddie’s place with all her luggage to see her little niece. At this point it’s been a month or so and after seeing both of them for about an hour she starts getting suspicious. Then she sees Steve barely flinch when the baby cries from their room and she corners Eddie about it. He says he doesn’t know what she’s talking about but he’ll watch Steve closer.

Now that he’s looking he starts to see what she meant. Steve hesitates at night when the baby cries, if only for a breath before he gets up. His smile drops when he thinks Eddie isn’t looking and he’s holding the baby.

It all culminates in Eddie going out to grab dinner for them and when he comes back Steve is holding their daughter and both of them are sobbing. They end up having a long talk and Steve admits to all the feelings he’s been hiding. He expects Eddie to hate him but Eddie just wraps his arms around them both and tells him he’s going to take Steve to see his doctor.

The doctor’s appointment changes a lot for Steve. Some things are slow, the overall exhaustion and apathy, the connection with his baby, the happiness. But some are fast, especially the guilt. When his doctor tells him that many moms experience these sorts of symptoms, that it doesn’t sound like he doesn’t love his baby, he just needs some help, Steve starts crying from the relief.

And then a few months later, when Steve realizes that he’s been so happy to see his baby every day for days now, he cries a little too. The Harringtons may have been cursed, but the Munsons aren’t.

everytime one of you brings up postpartum depression omega steve, i take 100 damage

[that-scorpio]

My skin ☺️

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Picture Day

Tee Higgins x Chase!Reader

Desc: You start getting antsy 5 weeks postpartum and find something to do with your hands.

TW: nothing too bad, mostly fluff.

Princess Ti | Main Masterlist

WC: about 1k

＊✿❀ *. ꕥ * · ❀✿＊

The buzz from your clippers fed your creative soul. You had only come in the salon to reminisce and take some time to yourself while your baby girl naps. You couldn't help but miss the chatter of clientele and the smell of coconut oil usually in the air. The pristine white counters in front of each station were completely bare, only each counter’s handheld hair dryer sticking out of the black cubbies.

Sitting in front of the first station, you think back to when your husband asked you what you really wanted in your home. It was a ballsy ask, in your opinion; you weren’t even sure what he meant by it. But he said you could turn the basement into whatever you wanted. It baffled you because you thought he’d want a man cave to escape the realities of marriage. That’s what your dad did, so you thought it was normal to think so.

So you tossed around the idea of taking on more personal and private clients in a home suite. A month later, he pleasantly surprised you with a fully furnished and functional home salon. It resembled a mini version of your main salon in the city. There is nothing that man wouldn't do for you.

After giving birth, Tee kicked into full dad mode. When he said your only job once Tiana was born was to just take care of her, he did not go back on his word. He's been an absolutely phenomenal father and partner, always taking her when you need a break, making sure you eat and stay hydrated, and even getting up during the night to calm her down. Him and your brother are literally upstairs putting together a new nursery glider so your morning feedings can be cozier.

Maybe that's why you're so antsy. You were so used to always caring for others; now that someone is holding you down the same way, you don't know what to do with yourself. You don't even cook anymore. Your mom has been handling all the meals so you can take time and heal. Everything they were doing was amazing, and you deeply appreciated it, but damn, you were bored.

The sound of your phone buzzing made your train of thought drown.

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

we're done with yo fancy ass chair, come see it while Titi still sleep

sent at 2:23 pm

You thought about going back upstairs for a minute, but a different idea caught your attention.

To: Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

I have a better idea, you bring your wack ass fade to the basement and come sit in my chair😌

read at 2:27 pm

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

arent you supposed to be resting, imma tell momma👎🏾

To: Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

Im offering you a free haircut and you wanna go rat me out😑 don't you have team pictures in a few days👀

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

fine im coming, but when momma finds out I'm blaming you

To: Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

yea right, just come down here. AND DONT TELL TEE!

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

yea... a little late for that one😬

read at 2:33 pm

Great, just when you thought you'd be able to do your own thing, your little brother goes and fucks it up before it happens.

Oh well, you shrugged and walked over to the back of the salon for your supplies to set up for Ja'Marr's haircut. You grabbed an apron for you and a barber cape for him (even though you should let him be itchy for threatening to snitch), your black pro clippers, a razor, a number 1 and 2 comb, some holding spray, and a brush. Then, set up your chair.

Minutes later, you were all ready, and your client walked in with your husband.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" He asked with an amused smirk on his face.

"I'm giving my brother the haircut he so desperately needs." You smile back, patting the back of the chair for J to sit down.

"You're supposed to be resting." He crosses his arms as you drape the cape over your brother.

Smirking, you untie your apron and walk up to your husband with your hands on your hips. "Look at me, babe." You slowly spin around to give him an eyeful of your postpartum baby body.

"I see you, mamas. Trust me, I see you." The very nice thing about everyone making sure you take care of yourself these last few weeks has been your ability to prioritize your "snap back." You weren't working out to get to a certain shape. You were just prioritizing strengthening your core, which meant some belly binding, light ab exercises, and self-care. You were nowhere near your pre-baby weight, but you liked the extra curves, and someone else did too.

"You can't just expect me to just sit down and wait for Tiana to wake up. I gotta keep my body active, practice my trade."

He knew you were saying words, but ever since that apron came off, his mind was somewhere else. "Oh, I know how you can get active."

"Alright, y'all just nasty. Am I getting my hair done or what?" Ja'Marr groans from behind you.

"Yea Tee, you gon' let me work or what?" You say, biting your lip.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. "Fine," he says, pulling a waiting chair over to the corner of your area. The 6-week rule playing over and over in his mind.

"Good, now let's get to work. Don't worry babe, you're next." You chirp, picking up the brush to begin the haircut.

But Ja'Marr jerks his head away. "Ay, Y/n don't go too rough now."

You can't help but snort. "Yes, yes, I know. You too tenderheaded for my skills."

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

~ a/n: yall see what I did there ;) last addition to the au for a while. time to go work on some other fics ♡

[schizopositivity]

If you're talking about mental health issues in someone who just gave birth, don't just call it "postpartum" and only mean postpartum depression and assume everyone only understands that means postpartum depression, because postpartum psychosis exists too.

When you're talking about neurodiversity/mental illness, don't just say "the spectrum" and only mean the autism spectrum and assume everyone understands that only means the autism spectrum, because the schizophrenia spectrum exists too.

I understand that most people think that schizophrenia or psychosis isn't the norm. Most people don't include us in general conversations. But that doesn't mean we don't exist. Postpartum psychosis is very real and should be talked about more. Schizophrenia is a spectrum and more people should understand that.

Those of us with psychosis or schizophrenia are used to being excluded but it hurts a bit more when we're being completely excluded from conversations specifically about mental illness. By defaulting "postpartum" or "the spectrum" to not include us, it feels like you're saying postpartum psychosis doesn't exist, or schizophrenia isn't also a spectrum. When you treat postpartum or the spectrum as if they only mean one thing, it implies that there is no other postpartum mental health conditions, or no other mental illness spectrums. It's not that hard to add an extra word to be specific.

I know this isn't a huge deal, and I might just be nit picking. But I think these two examples show how those of us with psychosis or schizophrenia are always excluded, even from other mentally ill people. Many people don't know that postpartum psychosis even exists. Many people don't know that schizophrenia is also a spectrum. And the general understanding won't change, if the only people using inclusive language are those of us who have it.

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

Hi,

I'm a new mom who's been following you since last year on patreon. I would like to thank you for opening up about how hard motherhood is, I feel you. That honesty is hard to come by these days when talking about motherhood, I feel like it's becoming a competition when talking about your child

Motherhood is very very VERY hard. You not only have to recover from an intense surgery while taking care of a helpless newborn (and no matter how much material you read, you're wholly unprepared for the task), you struggle with a hormonal fallout not just after birth but multiple times postpartum, a horrendous lack of sleep (which is a torture tactic btw!), and figuring out who you even are anymore.

I had lots of help and my husband is a saint and it's still immensely difficult. I can't imagine doing it alone.

Now that I've reached seven months, I can look back and go "wow, I made it through that" but it was a hard road. I'd do it all again for my baby, but DAMN.

It's not all puppies and rainbows. I struggled with insomnia, PPA, and I weigh less now than I did before pregnancy.

And yet you love your baby with all your heart, soul, and mind. It's an intense, intense metamorphosis and it continues daily.

Having a child is not for the weak and we are so much stronger for it.

Please seek help if you're struggling. Postpartum is a monster. I'm still climbing out of the hole, but we can make it. We'll make it carrying our babies with us and holding them up to the light and giving them the absolute best of ourselves we can give. <3

[thepeacefulgarden]

[lalabubaby]

Wear your baby like never before! Let the adventures with Mom + Dad begin! 🌟

✔️  Looks like a tee, performs like a carrier  ✔️ Hands free ✔️  At home or on the go ✔️ Bonding made easy ✔️ Premium quality ✔️ Comfortable for parent + baby ✔️  Slip baby in the pouch and go!

Order TODAY at https://shop.lalabu.com/pages/dad-shirt

[spiderliliez]

You just gave birth but have to deal with this SXXT! POSTPARTUM & RHAENYRA TARGARYEN

[+] EMMA D’ARCY [GIF Collection] ✨ [+] ..more on “HOTD” 🔥

[djmaliksmix]

heyyyyyyyy, i would love to do a writing request about paul mescal x wife reader, paul and the reader have already had 4 children, but this last one was born about 3 months ago (it really doesn't matter to me), and the reader feels very insecure about her postpartum body, since maybe she has a little more fat in her stomach, legs, hips, etc,. She also feels very insecure about having her breasts much bigger and saggy, and she also has stretch marks all over her body. and paul makes her feel better, like saying "that she should feel proud since she gave him 4 beautiful babies” or idk🥺

OMGGG THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA!! YES I CAN DEFINITELY DO THIS :) TYSM FOR THE SUGGESTION 😁

Paul Mescal x female!reader (postpartum)

warnings: fluff, crying, lots of reassurance LMFAO, and one curse word

A/n: Hey everyone!! I just wanted to first thank you guys for the notes on my last fic! Ily all sm and Im so grateful you guys liked the fic 😽 ! Anyways I wanted to write this fic bc it was quick and I’m still planning out my 2nd chapter for “where the light enters” but it will come soon I promise!! :) anyways hope you guys enjoy this quick Paul fic 😁

The soft hum of the baby monitor was a constant backdrop as you stood in front of the full-body mirror. The warm glow of the bedside lamp lit up the room, projecting a golden hue on the walls. It was finally quiet, a rare moment of stillness after another chaotic day.

The house had fallen into a calm hush, with your older children, Luca and Kai tucked in after a whirlwind evening of wrestling matches that left them both in fits of giggles, and Diana, your spirited three-year-old, snug under her blankets after insisting on yet another bedtime story.

Then there was Laila, your sweet three-month-old. She’d only just settled after separate hours of breast feeding and fussing, her tiny body finally relaxing in her crib.

With everyone asleep, the house should have felt like a haven of peace. Yet here you were, staring at your reflection, feeling everything but tranquil.

Your eyes roamed over the unfamiliar curves of your body. Your stomach was softer than before, a rounded reminder of Laila’s recent presence in your stomach. Your hips had widened, your thighs were fuller, and even your arms seemed different—softer, less toned. You ran your hands over the fabric of your loose shirt, tugging at the hem as though pulling it further down could hide the parts of yourself you weren’t ready to face.

You didn’t hear Paul enter the room until his voice broke the silence, warm and familiar.

“Hello love.” He said voice soft, and closed the door behind him gently.

You were startled slightly and glanced over your shoulder, forcing a small smile. “Hey” you replied quickly, smiling.

Paul frowned, his sharp blue eyes scanning your face as he walked toward you. He’d just finished his nightly routine of checking on the kids—making sure Luca wasn’t still messing through his toys and making noise, that Kai had used the restroom before bed, and helping Diana check“the monsters under the bed” so she could sleep peacefully and not climb into their bed at 2 in the morning. But now, his focus was entirely on you.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked gently, his brows furrowing.

You hesitated, unsure if you wanted to voice the thoughts swirling in your mind. “It’s silly,” you said finally, turning back toward the mirror and crossing your arms over your chest.

Paul stepped closer, standing just behind you. His hands found your shoulders, warm and steady. “If it’s bothering you, it’s not silly. Talk to me.”

Your eyes dropped to the floor, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t feel like myself anymore.” You said sitting on the bed.

His brow furrowed deeper, concern etched into every line of his face. “What do you mean?”

You gestured toward your body, unable to meet his gaze. “This. My body. It’s changed so much since Laila. I don’t recognize it anymore. My stomach, my hips, my legs—everything feels…different. Wrong.” Your voice cracked, and you swallowed hard. “I know I just had a baby, but…I feel like I’ve lost the person I used to be.”

“Physically and mentally”

“I feel unlovable and lonely Paul.” You sighed, not looking at him at first, just looking at the ground.

You knew if you looked into his eyes you would burst into tears.

Paul didn’t say anything right away, and the silence felt heavy. When you finally glanced up at him, his expression was unreadable. Then, with a tenderness that made your chest ache, he cupped your face in his hands.

“Y/N,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “First of all, there’s nothing on this earth, even in this universe, that I adore more than you.”

“You are the reason I am who I am. We were made for each other.”

You smiled faintly, your eye bags lessening as the corners of your mouth went up.

You frowned again as you stared at the wall.

Frankly, you were depressed.

You shook your head, blinking back tears. “Paul—”

“No, listen to me,” he interrupted gently. “This body of yours has carried and brought four incredible children into the world. Four. It’s been through so much—so much love, so much strength. How can you not see how amazing that is?”

Tears welled in your eyes, threatening to spill over. “I know that logically. I do. But when I look at myself, all I see are the flaws. The things that aren’t the same.”

Paul’s jaw tightened, and his thumbs brushed away the tears that escaped down your cheeks. “Then let me tell you what I see,” he said, his voice steady but fierce. “I see the woman who’s been my partner through everything. The woman who makes Kai feel proud when he shows her his art, who teaches Luca to find wonder in the smallest things, and who turns Diana’s tantrums into laughter. The woman who stays up all night feeding Laila, even when she’s completely exhausted. The woman who loves her family so much it shows in every part of her being.”

A soft laugh escaped you, shaky but genuine. “You’re just saying that.”

“You’re a good fucking actor.” You said chuckling, tying in all of this to his job.

Paul shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I mean every word, love. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You’re beautiful. You’re strong. And I’ll remind you of that every single day if I have to.”

Laila’s soft cries escaped through the baby monitor, breaking the moment. Paul glanced toward it, then back at you.

“You stay here,” he said, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips. “I’ll get her.”

Before you could protest, he was already out the door, leaving you standing there, your chest a little lighter and your heart somewhat fuller.

You stood up and turned back to the mirror, looking at your reflection with new eyes. The changes were still there—the curves, the softness—but this time, you didn’t feel the same weight of insecurity, but felt it all at the same time.

From the baby monitor, Paul’s soothing voice filtered through. “Oh, Laila, did you miss Daddy? What’s the matter, little one?”

You smiled at the sound of his voice, soft and meaningful. Wanting nothing but peace and love for his new baby girl that he loved with all of his heart.

Paul’s footsteps were slow and steady as he made his way down the hallway. The door creaked softly as he returned. When he finally stepped back into your bedroom, he paused for a moment, his eyes finding you standing up, putting clothes away, but still looking sad.

Laila’s cries had quieted, and the house was peaceful again, but the weight of your earlier conversation lingered between the two of you, unspoken.

Paul smiled softly as he approached, his hands finding yours, his touch warm and comforting. “She’s finally settled,” he said quietly, his thumb brushing across the back of your hand. “I think she just wanted a little extra snuggle tonight.”

You nodded, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips, but you didn’t meet his gaze right away. Instead, your attention was drawn back to your reflection in the mirror in front of you. You still couldn’t shake the feeling that you had lost something within yourself—that your body, the one that had carried your four children, had somehow become foreign to you.

Paul, sensing your unease, stepped closer, his hand gently cupping your chin, lifting it so you could look at him. His eyes, full of love and understanding, locked with yours, and you saw the tenderness that had always been there. The tenderness that you had come to rely on through every change, every challenge.

“You know I see you, right?” he asked softly, his voice low and full of emotion.

You blinked, surprised by his words. “What do you mean?”

“I see you,” he repeated, stepping even closer, his presence radiating warmth. “Not just the way you look. I see you for everything you are—everything you’ve been to me, to Luca, Kai, Diana, and Laila. You’re more than just a body. You’re a soul. I’ll never stop seeing that.”

You felt the weight of his words settle deep into your chest. His love was unwavering, always. And even in your most vulnerable moments, he had a way of reminding you just how much you were worth.

He stepped back for a moment, giving you space, but his hand didn’t leave yours. He tugged gently, pulling you toward the bed. “Come lay with me,” he said, his voice soft and inviting. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll figure this out together.”

You nodded, getting in on your side of the bed. Once you were laid down, Paul took off his shirt and was just in sweats. He laid beside you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders, pulling you closer into his side. The warmth of his embrace comforted you, a silent promise that no matter what, you weren’t alone in this.

“I know things are changing,” he said after a beat, his fingers gently brushing through your hair. “But change isn’t a bad thing. It’s a new chapter. One where we continue to build something beautiful, something bigger than ourselves.”

The silence that followed was comfortable, a peaceful lull that wrapped itself around you both.

You leaned into him, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your own, and for the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to believe his words. You let yourself trust that the love you shared with him was enough to see you through the changes, enough to remind you of the strength you carried within.

With a soft sigh, you closed your eyes, feeling the exhaustion of the day settle over you. Paul’s hand gently rubbed your back as you let your mind quiet. Your body on his bare chest. In that moment, you felt the peace that had been missing—a peace that came from the knowledge that you were loved, exactly as you were.

“I love you, Y/N,” Paul whispered, his lips pressing softly against your temple.

“I love you too,” you whispered back, your voice soft but steady. And for the first time in a long while, you believed it—every word, every emotion, every piece of the love you shared.

In the silence of the night, with the sound of your children breathing softly in their rooms and Paul’s arms wrapped around you, you finally allowed yourself to rest. You were enough. And in his eyes, you definitely always would be.

a/n: I hope you guys loved it! Next time (after the Lu cius series ofc) I think I should write one shots of Paul and his gf (y/n) doing activities and doing couple stuff! I think that would be adorable!! But anyways chapter 2 of “where the light enters” will be coming soon! Ty for the support ! Im so grateful. 🙂🤍

[cyle]

was in the hospital for 7 days with my wife (3 with her, 4 with her and baby), and now i'm back home for ~48 hours so far, and i think i'm already starting to hit that stride in which being a sleep-deprived new parent is fun... because i've lost the capacity to care.

i just move between napping to hanging out with my newborn to doing household chores to cooking/eating, in very hard to predict sequences, for 24 hours at a time, and it has already become a confusingly wonderful and painful blur.

let's see what i say in another 48 hours and then 4 weeks.

[maaarine]

"It's interesting to me that postpartum depression is framed as a hormonal disorder.

And how often mothers themselves who have experienced postpartum depression will refer to the experience as having been the result of "my hormones being all over the place".

A large scale 2015 systematic review of the psychosocial and hormonal risk factors associated with postpartum depression concluded that swings in estrogen and progesterone levels were not really predictors of postpartum depression.

According to this review, stress hormones seem to play a more important role.

But it begs the question, what causes the release of stress hormones?

Turns out, the lack of family and social support trigger increased levels of stress hormones and put mothers at higher risk of postpartum depression.

So blaming a mother's wonky hormones for her postpartum depression and anxiety without also examining the social factors that contribute to the release and regulation of these hormones is kind of like measuring the stress hormones of an orca in captivity and then blaming its biological shortcomings for its pathological behavior rather than looking at issues with the environment.

Source: elena.bridgers: instagram.com/reel/C9Qwtpxyel0

[biggirl-bigworld]

I’ve only been a mom for 2 months but I haven’t slept in 10 years 🙃 hash af but still kinda cute ☺️