#Remembrance of Courage Past

[srbachchan]

DAY 6012

Jalsa, Mumbai July 3, 2024/July 4 Sat/Sun 3:39 am

Birthday - EF - Suad LZ Desouza , Satinder Sunday, 4 August ..

for the wishes and in remembrance 🙏

.. some fresh new interesting changes in the GAME and the impact it will have and the learnings .. but above all the 'emotions' that overcome us all when the outcome of the contestant before us narrates his or her story .. the dire circumstances they exist in and then the volume of their years of distress .. and suddenly they find themselves here on the 'garam kursi' and they get taken up by the emotion of the moment ..

its is most moving and one feels so helpless .. to the condition of the lives of these men and women who come in front of the millions that witness their struggles and years and years of strife ...

BUT .. with that most endearing smile which just melts us ..

for the past few days the contestants and their lives that come before us have been most emotional and moving .. and we sit in the wonder of their narratives .. and try to extend helping hands for their needs and to try and overcome their harsh lives ..

.. and despite the belittling that the World outside and they that have no consciousness or burn in their own manufactured stew , but deriving some inverse pleasure in filling up their coffers with the impotency of their content work .. these brave men and the gentle little girls, live their lives with courage and forthrightness that the evil pen pencil pushers or stabbers of the squares , derive ..

shame on them ..

and when victory comes in the shape of the success at the 'hot seat', they never seize to continue to amaze me, by their generous outlook and pay back not just in kind, but their minds as well ..

may they be given all the strength that the Almighty can ever bestow upon those that struggle and set examples .. and teach a lesson to these ..

PPPoSotS

My love

Amitabh Bachchan

[tarjapearce]

Cast Away (Pt. 2)

Warning: DO NOT read this if you're having a good day and love Miguel O'Hara being happy. ANGST. Graphic depictions of miscarriage, implied self hate, HEAVILY influenced by "Die For You" by Joji. Had to hold myself from making this too dark. Sorry in advance, but I write my sadness away ~ Thanks Anon for this request ✨

Pt 1

The steps approaching just echoed through the high walls and, he glanced at the trespasser of his secluded space briefly to continue his new endeavor.

"She got home safe." Jess mumbled from the doorframe, not needing to invade his corner even more.

"Made sure to check the area as well-"

"You're dismissed"

"You're welcome" Jessica shrugged and returned where she came from.

Silence fell upon him again, where you had been standing a while ago. Although you had changed, he no longer had to wonder what had been of you.

The memories always repeated themselves in his brain whenever he dwelled too much in the past. It was like a self imposed punishment from everything that had happened. The remembrance itself was unable to be stopped once it was played in his mind.

He would come home to you, dread seeping in as the rain only poured harder, drowning the sound of the daily suburban life. Your car was parked ahead of his, he then had rushed to get inside only to be greeted by a bone shaking cry.

Dread pumped harder on his chest, making his breath to hitch as his eyes stumbled upon a crimson and jagged pattern on the floor.

Don't

His mind chanted, but the desperate cries of help gave him enough courage to slowly push the door open. And god, he wished he could have some sort of device to erase the ongoing memory.

His heart not only wrenched but broke upon the sight of you. Slumped on the bathroom floor against the wall, blood everywhere as you wept, holding onto your belly, repeating over and over 'my baby', begging for an answer above as to why your child was the one that had to be ripped away. He was sure that whoever above was in charge, he wasn't listening.

He had to steel his grip on the doorframe as his eyes darted to a certain bloody puddle between your legs. Tiny little bloodshot feet peeked through the fabric of your nightgown. His eyes blurred as the tears flooded his eyes and for a second he thought he would collapse right on the spot.

A painful wept snapped him out of his trance and took action. He phoned an emergency number and rushed to you again. There was no comfort that could alleviate your hearts. At best, he just cradled you in his arms, and held you tight as you clung to him, your one and only anchor, asking for his forgiveness.

But his mind was on the tiny human that laid quietly on the floor. His spider vision only confirming what he in his mind was trying to deny so badly.

He was going to be a father of a boy.

You didn't know yet and had demanded to be a surprise, the appointment scheduled within four days. The baby shower for next month.

Everything was a blur after the medical staff arrived to your home and took you to the hospital. He couldn't follow right away to the room you had surely would be kept.

Doctors barked orders, and he hated himself for admitting that he was glad he wasn't allowed in, his rage would surely make him commit something really stupid.

Hours passed and the only thing he could do was to stare at you through a window. Oxygen mask attached as the monitors gave soft beeps, mimicking your heart beats.

How he couldn't see this coming? He analyzed every single outcome possible from your pregnancy, he had used his knowledge in genetics to always monitor you.

What had gone wrong? His blood? Probably. After all his own dna had been modified, and yours was strong and compatible enough for a successful pregnancy. Or so his results had shown.

Never he could imagine that the 0.99% fail rate due dna instability from your end, would shatter everything to pieces.

There was no longer adoration in his eyes upon watching you, but something darker, hatred like even.

Weakened eyelids fluttered open and awake, trying to adjust at the light and blurry sight, and when they did, you were received with a look that were only given to your common enemies. Your heart broke into nothingness.

Miguel could see you mumbling his name, but it fell upon deaf ears. He turned around and left.

LYLA's projection brought him back to reality. For once he was grateful she was there, his past haunting him stopped briefly.

"Did ya hear?"

"Hm?"

"Are you sure you wanna do that?"

"Highest resolution available."

"Isn't it a crime to use this tech to personal purposes?"

"Solo haz lo que te digo.*" His tone an octave lower and demanding.

LYLA sighed and soon a new projection appeared on his screen.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, his eyes following your frame that soon disappeared in the arms of an unknown man. His eyes narrowed in disdain as he peppered your face in kisses.

He was tall, not as physically built as he, but the man looked like the cardio was enough for him. House looked cozy, homey. Tainted in the colors you were always telling him about , matcha green and beige.

The man kissed you, and as he cupped your cheeks to do so, Miguel caught the glimpse of a golden ring on his finger.

------

"Mi amor!" Your hand covered your mouth as your squealing was muffled. Your husband rushed to you and stopped upon seeing you nodding and crying as you held a pregnancy test on hand. After two months of trying.

The man was overjoyed. And Miguel's jaw clenched.

----

"It's a boy"

You whispered in between soft sobs as the ultrasound captured the picture. Red eyes glued at the way that man mumbled the sweetest things that made your chest swell merrily. He looked so proud of you.

You had always wanted a boy.

He was once the father of a boy.

----

"Im not going anywhere" The man mumbled as he planted himself by your side.

"Where would I go, hmm?" His stomach revolted as the scene displayed before him.

You left

His mind accused. Something he could truly never shake off. Months of surveillance resumed into this very moment. Medical staff rushed in and soon the moment he never got to experience with you, happened.

Your child was born.

His lip pursed, suppressing a quiver while he witnessed in sheer darkness, the peak of your happiness. Your arms cradled the baby, cooed him, cherished him. Your pride and joy, shared with a stranger.

Could've been you

Miguel's breath was released in a shaky sigh.

"Felicidades, mi niña."

He turned off the screen. Darkness swallowing him whole.

--------

Solo haz lo que te digo- Just do as you're told.

Felicidades, mi niña.- Congratulations, my dear.

[socksracoon10]

From The Unknown

A/N: MY LOVES I AM BACK!! Finally finished all my exams and I desperately needed some Aragorn content! It's so good to be back! Pairing: Aragorn x F!Reader Fangorn forest was never kind to trespassers, especially in late times. The Uruk-hais and Orcs had gouged out many of the Ents, and you were there to witness some of it. Currently hiding behind a shrouded bush, you meticulously sharpened your knife as you tuned into the sounds of your surroundings. A whistle of the wind, the soft rustling of the leaves, and the occasional moaning of the tree creatures as they moved from one area to the other. You almost swore they were moving on purpose to frighten you; one of them nearly placed its large foot onto you the night before when you were scavenging for food. The knife glistened in the moonlight and you twirled it between your fingers, letting it slip and fall gracefully before your thumb jerked it upwards to be caught again.

A crunch of the branches forced you to spin around; it wasn't a deep one made by the Ents, they would never step on their kind. This one was lighter, more precise. Frowning, you held out your knife and approached the sight of the noise, your eyes narrowing at the dark branches that folded around you. If it was an Orc, it would not be the first time you had to deal with one, and with the very little amount of courage that simmered in you, you leaped forward only to be caught and spun around. Your knife was quickly knocked onto the ground, and an arm wrapped around your neck.

"I wasn't expecting to see someone like you in Fangorn," The voice behind you cooed; he had a gentle voice, one that would sing lullabies to the Ents if he wanted to. You wriggled under his grasp, quickly ducking under his arm and bringing your hand onto his shoulders.

"Who are you?" You inquired, wasting no time in understanding the man before you. He cracked half a smile, nodding his head as if he knew you were not one to back down without gaining sufficient answers.

"My name is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. I am here to find-" He began but was instantly cut off by your nosiness,

"Aragorn? As in... Isildur's heir? They have spoken wonders about you, and yet... you do not match your title," You scoffed, dropping your arms. You crouched down to pick up your knife, before pocketing it carefully. Aragorn continued smiling at you, before bowing his head,

"Forgive me, I have spent the past few years disheveled as ever. I am here on a mission, though. And I require your assistance."

You never liked working with others, it was one of the main reasons you had spent so long in solitude. As a female, your opinions were often overlooked and Eru knows the amount of men that joked about your place being at home. It tightened your heart at the very remembrance; you grabbed what was left of your items and stashed them into your bag before stalking off.

Aragorn was a bit surprised at your dismissive attitude and took it upon himself to follow you, his footsteps softly trailed behind and he occasionally looked down to ensure he didn't accidentally trip over the roots. He could not deny that he was intrigued by you; why would a woman choose to stay in Fangorn, especially so close to Isengard? Were you aware of the growing dangers, or did you choose to be ignorant? And judging by your appearance, you surely were no elf or dwarf. You were a mere human, not even one of his descendants. He observed your movements; you went in zig-zags, never once staying in one path. He thought it was a good strategy if you were in danger, but of now, he wasn't sure how to gauge a response from you. Considering you hadn't complained about him following you, he figured his presence was still welcome but he had to test the waters before making another move.

"How long have you lived here?" He questioned, craning his neck to catch a glimpse of your face. You swung yourself over a fallen Ent, before turning back to face him,

"Around a few months."

"A few months, and why so? What are you trying to achieve?"

"It's not about achieving anything, I merely wish to observe. I like to keep track of things that happen around me."

"I find your response to be a blatant lie, no man would put himself in danger such as this just to keep track of things," Aragorn exclaimed, leaning closer. You eyed him, warily, unsure of whether you should tell him the truth or not. He was one of the most important figures in Middle Earth and yet you could not bear to divulge him in your revenge tale. Your parents were killed by the Uruk-hai, and you felt useless as you hid for your life. There was something so awful about the tale to you; your parents were dead, but you had done nothing to save them. Swallowing thickly, you turned away from Aragorn and decided to continue wandering around the forest. He did not deserve a full answer, at least not in your eyes. Besides, you surely could not be of much importance to him.

Aragorn's eyes flickered over to Legolas and Gimli who hid among the shadows, and he raised his hand, gesturing for them to wait patiently. They were in search of two hobbits and believed that you would know of their whereabouts, but your reluctance in helping seemed to agitate Gimli more and more.

"Why won't she jus' say it?" Gimli grumbled, shaking his head. He raised his axe to stomp it, aggressively, but Legolas quickly caught it in the air before whispering back,

"Be patient, dwarf. These are matters we should not intervene in. Aragorn will find a way, you must control yourself." He scolded and Gimli's face burned with rage; he hated being chastised like a little boy, especially by an elf of all beings. He muttered a few curses under his breath, before shifting uncomfortably next to a bush, doing everything he could to separate himself from Legolas. In the meantime, Aragorn had now started walking beside you, rather than from behind. You could sense the urgency in his stare, but his patience was what surprised you the most. Finally, after much silence, you sat on a broken log and gestured for him to sit down as well.

"I assume you are looking for the Hobbits," You exclaimed, and his eyes widened at your words.

"Yes, yes I am." He responded,

"They were taken by Treebeard, an Ent, but I did not know which direction they had gone to. Treebeard was never fond of me, anyway. I had overstayed his welcome and before I could even make note, he used his leg to forcefully shove me away." You explained, and Aragorn nodded, before thanking me. A satisfied sigh was heard behind you and your head snapped over your shoulder to find Gimli and Legolas approaching,

"At least she finally opened her mouth," The dwarf scoffed and Legolas nudged him with his elbow, sending him a quick glare before smiling at Aragorn. The man stood up, clearly happy that he had gotten the information that he needed. You sighed under your breath, realizing that your purpose for the future Elessar was fulfilled. You would have to return to foraging these woods and finding a new place closer to enact your revenge. However, as you stood up, Aragorn called out to you.

"I never got your name," He smiled, hands folded in front of him.

"My name is (Y/N) (L/N)," You responded, unsure of what use your name would be to him.

"Well, (L/N), you keep track of your surroundings. I believe we'll need your resources - I'll need your resources." Aragorn stated a twinkle in his eyes. You tilted your head to the side, processing his words. There was something about his eyes that startled you, it forced you into him whether you liked it or not. His eyes were from an unknown place that you had seen when you were a child. And now those eyes beckoned you for an adventure that you sorely needed.

[speckled-jim]

Let’s talk about how Basquiat’s Slave Auction relates to the themes of remembrance & trauma in IWTV.

All the artwork we see displayed in Dubai is evocative of painful memories. It’s present in every single room we've seen, so much so that I'm surprised it took Louis this long to summon Daniel back for a redo of the ’73 interview.

The Basquiat piece is first seen in 1x3, an episode that starts with Louis telling Lestat about Jackson Square’s ugly history as the site of slave executions, and ends with a race riot caused by Louis’ actions. It also marks the beginning of Louis’ struggle with self-definition: he cannot divorce himself from humanity as easily as Lestat. He cannot divorce himself from the camaraderie, kinship, and mutual support/responsibility so integral to minority communities. Yet, as a vampire, he is now inherently separate from such aspects. By the time we meet Louis in Dubai, he lives in isolation, for all intents and purposes, his contact with humanity limited mainly to the penthouse staff. The art is evidence that he still craves a connection to his roots; however, it's no longer a positive connection centered on belonging, but a reminder that the gap has grown even wider.

Our next encounter with this piece is in 1x4, when Daniel finds "Rashid" praying in the same room.

The framing choice is quite interesting: the painting doesn’t dominate the shot, but its presence is still prominent. It’s physically behind Rashid/Armand, but more to the side of him than his back, and although there’s light streaming in through the windows, Armand’s just on the outskirts, sharing the shadows with the painting. It’s a rather startling image, considering how closely the piece depicts Armand’s past, not just in terms of the events he can remember but the jumbled manner in which they exist in his head: broken fragments, rather than coherent memories he can recount.

Thus, it connects to the previous episode’s introduction of the painting, which appears in the background just as Daniel casts doubt on the accuracy of Louis’ own memories.

On the surface, these appear to be lucid and orderly enough that Louis can form an unbroken narrative account of his life, but are they? When Daniel challenges Louis on the stark differences between the story he told in San Francisco and the story he is now telling in Dubai, Louis quotes Daniel’s own words at him, calling the second interview an “odyssey of recollection.” This implies some recognition on Louis’ part that his memory’s imperfect, even when it’s not “an admitted performance.”

Slave Auction likewise contains a chaotic profusion of themes: the lasting scars of slavery, racism, and failed assimilation, overlaid with images of black men as entertainers and athletes, a superficial success applied like a band-aid over a gaping wound. Is that not the very core of Louis de Pointe du Lac? Fathomless, unaddressed anguish buried under a placid façade of wealth? A lifelong attempt to gloss over his innate pain as a man grieving the loss of his family, his community, his connection to humanity?

Not for nothing the arc words of these two seasons have been “memory is a monster.” Many horror enthusiasts say that one of the scariest things you can do is never show the monster in full, instead letting the audience craft its image from their own fears. Louis has spent decades living with just such a monster always at his back, too terrified to turn around and face it for fear of what he’d see there.

And then, in the final scenes of s2, he finally finds that courage, only to realise that the monster, all along, was just love.

[xinyuehui]

In celebration of International Women's Day, I want to share 10 of my favourite dramas with incredible women protagonists. They are loveable, courageous, ambitious, and sometimes annoying, dramatic, and stubborn. They are not perfect, they may remind you of a mother, daughter, wife, friend or perhaps yourself. Like someone who exists in our lives. ♡

Lady Tough (2021) 突如其来的假期 Remembrance of Things Past (2021) 我在他乡挺好的 Dear Diary (2021) 我的巴比伦恋人 Delicious Romance (2021) 爱很美味 Mad Doctor (2022) 村裡來了個暴走女外科 Twenty Your Life On 2 (2022) 二十不惑 2 Shards of Her (2022) 她和她的她 Song of Life (2022) 三悦有了新工作 Faithful (2023) 九义人 Rosy Business 2: No Regrets (2010) 巾幗梟雄之義海豪情

[eretzyisrael]

by David Harsanyi

People love to bemoan the fate of dead Jews who were unable to defend themselves. They’re not too crazy about the living ones who do.

On Holocaust Remembrance Day, Israel entered Rafa in Gaza to clear out remnants of a modern-day Nazi organization that’s embedded itself among women and children. Joe Biden, who is giving a speech at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum’s Days of Remembrance ceremony in Washington today, tried to stop them.

Holocaust remembrances can often be little more than empty virtue signaling. It takes no moral courage to condemn crimes of the past if you’re not willing to stop the crimes of today. Save your sympathy.

Indeed, perhaps the most self-destructive myth within the modern Jewish American community is that the best way to temper hate is to fund more Holocaust education. It probably causes the opposite reaction. If the Holocaust taught us anything, it’s that Jews can’t wait for others — not even the most educated people in the world — to protect them. As Jeff Jacoby notes, “Israel doesn’t exist because there was a Holocaust. There was a Holocaust because Israel didn’t exist.”

And if keffiyeh-wearing Hamas cheerleaders weren’t moved by Oct. 7 videos of Jewish women being sexually tortured and slain, they sure aren’t going to be shocked into decency by 80-year-old grainy black and white pictures of bodies piled in pits. Do we really believe the Hamas apologists on major newspaper editorial boards, in the State Department, on Ivy League campuses, and in Congress don’t know this history? Of course they do. They often appropriate this past Jewish suffering by risibly accusing Israel of Nazi war crimes.

For the left, even minor political setbacks can be likened to Nazi Germany—but don’t you dare point out that cosplay revolutionaries on campus are trying to reenact Kristallnacht. Oh, it’s not about the Jews? Where are the “peace” protesters when Syria deploys chemical warfare against civilians? Or when the Chicoms open internment camps for Uyghurs? Or when the mullahs crack down on Iranian women? On foreign policy, the social justice warrior has an exceptionally narrow focus. It is not happenstance.

Perhaps it’s because Jews are too “white.” Maybe it’s because Jews have been successful and capitalistic and thrive in meritocratic Western nations. Perhaps it’s because the alleged victims of fictitious Jewish “colonialism,” “apartheid,” and “genocide” are brown and poor and Muslims.

Or perhaps it’s because Israel is more powerful than its enemies. This, of course, is due to the Jewish state having to fight and win wars instigated by its foes. Every time Israel repels new aggression, as it has for seven decades, the would-be invaders demand everyone rewind history to a time more convenient to their cause. In this one case, Westerners always seem to oblige.

Whatever drives the hate, it speaks to the violent stupidity and immorality of contemporary identitarian beliefs.

[anki-of-beleriand]

A Heart Made of Glass ch.9

Summary: Ten years ago you left Wanda and the Avengers to heal your broken heart. You never stopped being a hero, just as you never stopped being in love with her. But life had to go on.

Now, after all that time, she is back and with her is a young woman needing help and an enemy that may not be as afraid as Wanda to lay a claim on you.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Powered!F!Reader - Scarlet Witch x PoweredF!Reader - Past Wanda Maximoff x Vision - Powered!F!Reader x Carol Danvers

Warnings: Angst, drama, mentions of cheating, fluff, violence, smut, Switch!Reader, internalize homophobia, religious fanatisms, homopobia, hurt, comfort, Wanda being a complete mess, anger management issues, jealousy, Requited/Unrequited love, idiots in love, swearing, mentions of alcohol, violence, multiverse travelling. More tags as the story progess.

Author's Note: This story is a continuation of Dirty Little Secret I was really surprised at the response I got for the story, I did all the tags you guys ask for but if I forgot someone please do not hesitate to tell me. Thank you for the support.

I'm back!

And Carol Danvers is back as well. i'm sorry for the long delay, guys. But this chapter gave me some trouble before making some decisions as to where I wanted to take the story. I hope you like this new chapter, you will have action, flashbacks, and finally the worlds collide.

Remember that English is not my mother tongue so I apologise for the grammar, spelling and funny mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Epilogue

Chapter 9

The breaking of the storm

Three months ago – Stark Cabin - Fairburn, Georgia

It didn’t take her too long to locate the cabin.

She stood by the road for a very long time, debating with herself if it would be appropriated to approach the man living there. She was still wearing the clothes she wore to the funeral; the tears were still fresh on her face and the many memories in her mind were threatening to overwhelm her all over again.

The world had changed in the last five years she had been absent.

And yet, many things were still the same.

The service had been sweet, with a long sermon giving by an old priest that praised Steve for his courage and his life. Wanda had almost broken when the priest mentioned Bucky and how Steve’s love for him had made him stronger in the times of need. She listened as everything was revealed, as the lovers were uncovered in front of friends and family, and she realized right there and then everybody knew about it. And everybody accepted it, embraced it, and celebrated it.

“Sooner or later, Wanda, you will need to face the truth…than in all of this, it was you the only one that thought it inappropriate, that punished herself for something as pure as loving another human being.”

Steve’s words resounded inside her mind; Wanda had come to terms with what she couldn’t in her youth. Not only the mistakes of her past actions, but also to the thoughts she allowed herself to govern her decisions, in all reality, just as Steve had told her, her family would have never stopped loving her even if she chose another woman to be by her side. To be the love of her life, to marry and form a family with.

Times had certainly changed, and by the time Wanda had made a decision about her life and what she needed it to do, Thanos had come, and she had missed five years of her life. The sound of birds above her head broke her remembrance of another time; she shook her head and tried to step forward but was unable to do so.

Wanda Maximoff hesitated with her hands inside her pockets, the key to the old Avenger compound wrapped tightly around her hand. She chewed on her lower lip, turning around ready to leave until her eyes fell upon a young girl. She was no older than five years old, with auburn hair, and curious eyes she stood there glancing at Wanda while holding onto a metal glove that fit her small hand.

“Are you lost?” She asked, tilting her head, Morgan Stark took a step closer to the redhead while glancing left then right.

Wanda pressed her lips together shaking her head, “no, I’m not.”

Morgan furrowed her brows, her eyes narrowing slightly though her stance did not lose the easiness she carried with her. Wanda could see much of Stark in the young girl, there was intelligence behind her eyes and also a sense of confidence Wanda never possessed at her age.

“Then, what are you doing?” Morgan asked, this time around she pursed her lips pointing to the cabin. “Are you looking for daddy?”

Wanda sighed glancing down the road, her breath caught in her throat when her clear eyes fell upon the form of Tony Stark. The man was standing by the entrance of the cabin, his eyes completely focused on her and Morgan. With an uncomfortably shifted stance, Wanda glanced back to the girl that still had her eyes on her.

“Yes, I am.”

Morgan broke into an easy smile; she approached Wanda taking her hand in hers while dragging her all the way to the cabin.

“Silly, you can’t stay here. Daddy is having his afternoon tea.”

Tony Stark stood by the porch in his cabin, his heart had almost stopped the moment he realized Morgan had gone all the way to greet the strange newcomer only to realize this newcomer was no other than Wanda Maximoff. In his mind, five years had passed, but the old wounds as well as Wanda’s old transgressions were still fresh in Stark’s mind; he had not forgotten the moment she broke Y/N’s heart. Nor did he forget the fact Wanda sided with Steve when the world needed them the most; seeing her walking down the road with his daughter by her side only made him shiver in anticipation, his hand getting ready to access his armor if necessary.

“Wanda.” He couldn’t hide the coldness in his voice, the young woman winced trying to let go of Morgan’s hand but the young girl refused the gesture taking her past Tony.

“Come! Mommy brought some cupcakes and daddy has to eat his tea or he gets cranky.” Morgan turned to Tony, the innocence in her eyes didn’t allow her to notice the obvious tension between Wanda and Tony.

The man straightened up, his jaw clenching tightly while his eyes let Wanda know she was not welcomed. Wanda knew this, of course. She was risking a lot by reaching out to Tony, but in all honestly, he was her last option.

She didn’t have anyone else.

She was alone. Completely and utterly alone.

Tony dropped his shoulders placing a hand on Morgan’s head, before pointing with his head the house.

“Well, I guess we are stuck with one another for the time being.”

“You don’t have to…” Wanda started, but Tony shook his head.

“Morgan wants you here, come on.”

The house was like nothing Wanda remembered of Tony. There were many electronic devices and gadgets that Tony had adapted to his home, but otherwise this looked like a normal place. Nothing too fancy, and nothing too ostentatious. It was strange to set foot in a place that was not as extravagant as Tony had been once.

“I hope you two are…Wanda? What are you doing here?” Pepper stood by the hall with a tray filled with pastries and two white cups filled with tea.

Wanda offered a weak smile; her heart shrank at the incommodity this situation generated in her. She wished she had thought this through, but in reality, there was nothing she could do. She had been so lost at the funeral, she had been so devastated when she saw Y/N in the arms of another, when she realized after Steve’s death, she was alone.

“I’m sorry to come uninvited, Pepper.” She all but whispered. “I will be out of here in no time, I just…”

Pepper had been frowning at the young woman all this time, but something in her voice and her posture made Pepper softened slightly. She offered a motherly smile pointing to the love chair on the living room.

“Take a seat, Wanda, I will bring another cup of tea.”

Teatime went by uneventfully.

Morgan ended up filling up the silence with her stories, and the adults merely spoke whenever she spoke to them. Wanda couldn’t help the tension growing as the time passed, and the eyes of Tony kept on pinning her with anger and questions. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Pepper grabbed Morgan and left Tony and Wanda alone.

“You have some nerve coming in here, Wanda.” Tony finally commented leaning back on his chair. “I thought by now you would have left to get the normal life you have always wanted. Though, now that Vision is no longer alive, I guess you don’t have much from were to choose, am I right?”

Wanda winced at his honesty, she knew Tony and Natasha had been always advocates of Y/N and had always stood by her side after the incident. The young woman couldn’t help the tears pooling out her eyes, she swallowed down her sadness, trying to collect herself to start talking.

But she couldn’t.

“I…I…am sorry.” Wanda let down a whimper, her tears rolling down her eyes as the pain in her chest became unbearable. She stood on shaky legs, shaking her head while trying to make her way to the door. “I sh-shouldn’t…I will…I will leave…”

But as she said this, her heart crumbled and soon she was on the floor with Tony Stark wrapping his arms around her. Of all the people that she had gotten to know, Tony was the last one she ever thought would comfort her. They had such a troublesome past; she had hated him for so long only to develop respect and then a shaky form of friendship that had always been on the rocks for as long as they had fought on the side.

Now, Wanda couldn’t stop crying and Tony had acted out of instinct.

Wanda cried for herself, for the time she lost. For the things she had done, for Steve because he would no longer be there to comfort her and to be the family she had lost. For Y/N because she hated Wanda, and Wanda knew that regardless of her wrongdoings and her mistakes, she was still pretty much in love with her. Wanda cried because she let her old beliefs, and the words of sin and forbidden governed her decisions at some point.

Wanda cried because she was alone, and she had come to a world in which she was not welcome.

And then, when she thought nothing good could come of this meeting, she had the very same man she had always thought insufferable and narcissistic comforting her. Then a pair of small arms wrapped around her, and soon Wanda felt, for the very first time in a long time, the warmth of a family trying to pick up the pieces of her heart and lonely soul.

*****

Night had already fallen, and Morgan was already in bed by the time Wanda had stopped crying.

The warmth of the mug between her hands brough comfort to her cold chest, she glanced at the fire while trying to ease out her breathing and hearing Tony talk about what had happened after the Blip. She heard about his fight with Steve, how he had given his back to the Avengers to go and form a family with Pepper, how the world crumbled in the very first year before it started building itself.

Tony talked about Steve and Natasha, how they struggled to keep the team alive, to try and look for a solution while also helping the rest of the universe with the help of Rocket and Carol Danvers. He talked about Y/N, and Wanda couldn’t help the fluttering of her heart at the mention of Y/N and how she had been affected by the Blip, how she had met Carol and the bond had been formed.

“She missed you.” Pepper ignored the glare coming from Tony, her eyes were solely on Wanda who was looking back at her with a hopeful glint in her eyes. “Y/N was in a dark place after she saw you vanished into thin air.”

Wanda furrowed her brows at this, “she…she was there?”

Pepper and Tony nodded, and Wanda tried to remember that moment.

She knew you had arrived because your shadows had invaded the battlefield for a moment, but she never imagined you had gone and looked for her. Wanda never imagined Y/N had seen her disappear. Tony shifted on his chair pursing his lips while facing Wanda, his eyes demanding.

“She took it hard and was not the same for a while. Up until she and Carol started seeing one another.” Wanda winced at these words; she looked away trying to hide her pain, but Tony had already seen it. “What are you doing here, Wanda?”

Wanda glanced at the beverage in the mug, she thought about you for a long time. She thought about your voice and laughter, how happy you had seemed with the blond-haired woman back at the funeral. The young woman lifted her face, new tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I’m…I came here to ask for your permission.” She finally said, Tony blinked confusedly at her.

“Permission for what?”

“The…the Avengers compound.” Wanda mumbled. “I know it’s still active but empty and…I… I really don’t have a place to stay. I just…”

“You are alone.” Tony stated not without a tone of reproach in his tone. “This is your own doing, Wanda. I hope you know that.”

Wanda didn’t react at all, but her lips broke into a broken smile.

“I made so many mistakes, Tony.” Wanda all but whispered. “The only thing I did right was…was being with her.”

“And yet, you broke her heart in the worst possible way.” Tony replied, the old anger dripping from his words.

“I know.” Wanda placed a hand on her forehead, she had nothing to lose at the moment and her words came rushing in. Not to give an explanation, she didn’t think her actions have one, but she just needed to let everything out.

For the very first time, she would talk with all honestly to someone that wasn’t Steve.

“I was so afraid to give in, to allow myself to be seen with her.” Wanda hiccupped placing a hand on her mouth, tears rolling silently down her cheeks. “My mother…my father…They always talked to me about sin, I knew what I had always feel, what I am…was a sin. Papa found me once, and he…I never forgot his lesson. I knew I was wrong, and when I saw her and knew I couldn’t breathe without Y/n I just…I was failing papa and mama…you know?”

Wanda shook her head, a gasp leaving her lips while her hand closed tightly around her chest.

“I had failed them, they had died, and I had failed them…time and time again, I failed and then…” Wanda shrugged. “I fell in love with her and I just…I let my family die, I couldn’t…I couldn’t be happy, I shouldn’t…I should do what they wanted of me I just…”

Pepper softened her features, watching the confusion, the conflict running wildly through those green eyes. But Tony remained impassive, hearing everything without giving anything away.

“I just…I couldn’t let them down, them and Pietro and…god, Y/N was just…I was feeling so much…I realized I wanted to have her children, that I wanted…I wanted to leave my powers and…” Wanda suddenly looked desperate, lost, and hopeless. “I know I mess up, Tony, I’m not asking for your forgiveness...I just…I just need a home.”

Wanda broke at the very end; Tony lowered his gaze before settling his eyes on Pepper. For the very first time, Tony wondered what would have happened if Pepper had given up on him. How many times had she discovered him with another woman, how many times she had seen him flirt his way through the parties before he realized that Pepper was all he needed. Y/N had been hurt deeply by Wanda, it was quite evident Wanda didn’t know the extent of Y/N’s feelings for her or what she was ready to do for Wanda.

And yet, Wanda was ready to do the same, but her mind was being tormented by old believes, and the fear of failing her family. The fear of falling into sin, of being less than what was expected of her.

“I know I’m going to pay my whole life for my mistakes, Tony. I know she…” Wanda wrapped her hands tightly around the mug, lowering her gaze she continued with a shaky voice. “I have broken everything that was good for me, and I deserve to be alone. I just…I’m tired.”

Tony stood up making his way to where Wanda was sitting, he knelt down placing a single hand on hers. His face was solemn, and for the very first time he allowed himself to see Wanda the way she was. A young woman lost, not knowing what to do or what road to follow, someone who wanted to be loved, but that didn’t want to fail those she loved anymore.

Ten years were a long time for him to keep a grudge, and for Wanda to still being put down and being ripped from what she really wanted.

“You can stay here tonight, Wanda.” Tony squeezed her hand comfortingly. “You have a home here, and we can talk more tomorrow. The compound is yours if you want to, but for now let me take you to your room. You must be really tired.”

Wanda wrapped her arms around Tony, a small weight lifted from her heart, and a huge void in her soul filled by the affection she felt for the man hugging her tightly. After that day, Wanda would spend five more days in Tony’s home, and she would cry while trying to let out everything she had kept for herself.

The morning of the fifth day was sunny and filled with a warm breeze.

Morgan was checking out the car Tony had given Wanda, while Wanda was trying to reject the gift. Tony shook his head placing the keys in the young woman’s hand, his eyes gleaming warmly while he also extended a mobile.

“You will find my number in there. But…” Here Tony trailed off before speaking again. “You will find Y/N’s number and location.”

Wanda opened her eyes wide, her hand trembling at this revelation. Her lower lip quivered, and she was left speechless for a moment.

“I don’t think…”

“You told me you wanted to talk to her, to mend things, didn’t you?”

“Y-yes, I did but…”

“Or, were you pretending to be interested in patching things up with Y/N?”

“No, no Tony I do but…” Here Wanda trailed off glancing at the phone with trepidation. “She hates me. She…she really despises me.”

“She does.” Tony stated shrugging. “But you don’t.”

Wanda lowered her gaze, her cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“Now, I understand many things, Wanda, and it is time for Y/N to know them as well.”

Wanda shook her head, the fear of a confrontation with you was something that haunted her sleep. There was nothing else she wanted more than to go back to you, but she knew she was late. She was always too late.

Tony closed his hands around hers, the items firmly placed in her hand.

“Talk to her. Perhaps, it won’t be what you want, but being friends could be a start.” Tony then offered a smile, nodding to the car. “Go, get settle, and when you have decided, just call and the ticket to her home would be ready for you.”

Wanda threw herself at Tony, and this gesture caught the older man by surprised. But he returned the hug, and he realized that having a family, having Morgan had changed his vision of the world. And now, he didn’t want Wanda to go around suffering needlessly.

“Don’t wait to long, Little Witch.” He whispered choosing Y/N’s nickname for her. “Go and chase happiness, you will always have a home here.”

“Thank you, Tony.”

Wanda left the place with a lighter heart, and hope in her heart. She glanced at the phone on the passenger’s seat with titillation growing in her abdomen and spreading to her chest.

Perhaps…

Wanda swallowed down and dared not to hope. First things first, she would go to the compound and after that…after that you would look for Y/N. This time around, she was ready to do everything she could to redeem herself and have a chance with Y/N; Wanda drove down the road never noticing the eyes sneaking in the reflection or the purple mist engulfing her mind.

_____________________________________________________________

Present day – Former Avenger’s Tower - New York

The place had never been this packed ever since Loki came crashing down with the Chitauri on his attempt to conquer earth. Tony served some of the drinks, his eyes going over an over to the impatient form of one Carol Danvers, the woman hadn’t stopped looking at her watch and her mobile ever since they got in there with Monica Rambeau.

Natasha grabbed two glasses, winking at Tony who merely snorted while observing the interaction. Carol turned sharply to Natasha, her lips curling lightly into a smile while she received the glass of whiskey she was being offered.

“So, how did you find earth so far?” Natasha was not one to make small talk, and Tony had a feeling he knew why exactly the Black Widow was trying to stall the other woman’s stay in the tower.

You and Wanda were finally left alone to have the long-awaited conversation you deserved to have with one another. Tony then took the other glass walking towards Strange who had dropped on the nearest sofa, with a hand covering his face.

Carol took a sip from the beverage, glancing down to her mobile then back up to a smirking Natasha. The young woman hated the fact Natasha had the knowing glint in her eyes.

“So, are you in a rush?” Carol rolled her eyes at the questions, her lips breaking into an easy smile shaking her head.

“I am.” Carol sighed glancing at Natasha with expectation. “How is she?”

Natasha held Carol’s stare for a moment before shrugging, “she is fine, right now all of us are dealing with the current crisis trying to help America and find a solution.”

Carol clenched her hand around the glass, Natasha heard the cracking sound of the glass though Carol was trying to apply all her self-restrained as to not break the glass. By now, she already knew you were not alone, and that America had gone to you for help with no other than Wanda Maximoff. Carol would be lying if she didn’t admit a part of her was highly jealous of this meeting, she knew as well as everyone else that your love for the red-head witch was something still latent in your heart.

A wave of sudden sadness and uncertainty reached Carol, and the woman jerked away when another hand placed itself on her forearm. Natasha offered the comfort of a single smile, her eyes gleaming with sympathy and understanding.

“Don’t worry, this meeting won’t take long and you will have a chance to go right to her without waiting for me or the Quinjet.” There was a teasing tone in Natasha’s voice, Carol tried to relax but her mind was full of uncertainties, and her heart was aching to see you.

“I know…and I know this is important.” Here she made a face turning her attention to Monica then to Strange. “It seems Maximoff has created a huge trouble, and as always some of us are here cleaning up her mess, right?”

Natasha pursed her lips at this declaration, “It’s not her fault, not completely.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” This time around Strange was the one to talk, he straightened up his back, all eyes of the presents were on him.

The man was looking terrible, with bags under his eyes and the clothes completely messed, it seemed as if he hadn’t sleep for weeks. He probably hadn’t. Tony sat down nodding towards Stephen, glancing at the group before emptying the glass in a single gulp.

“Okay, then, start talking Strange, we’re delaying the space princess over there, and I don’t think she has more patience for this.”

Carol rolled her eyes looking away to try and hide her red cheeks, Natasha chuckled, squeezing her forearm tenderly before joining Tony and Monica. Carol glanced at her forearm before she too joined them with the same trepidation she had been feeling from the very beginning.

“As far as we could find with Wong, Wanda and this woman…Agatha were in possession of the Darkhold.” Strange spoke waving his hands, some of this they already knew but his explanation had to start there. “As I explained to you before, this book is highly dangerous, containing spells that could granted destructive powers to whomever gets a hold of it. One of such spells is called dream walking.”

Tony pursed his lips leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

“You told us this book was missing, alongside the woman Wanda was supposed to trap in the real Westview, right?”

“She didn’t do a very good job, did she?” This time around it was Carol the one to speak, the woman sat down pinning Strange with her eyes. “So, this dream walking ability, what does it do, exactly?”

Strange didn’t know how to explain the technique, he knew as soon as he started talking about it many of them would jump to the same conclusion he did. Though, his own theory still had many holes that he wasn’t sure how to fill in; he let out a heavy sigh hoping once Wong was back, he would have more answers.

“Basically, it is a technique that allows its user to use their counterpart across the multiverse. They can possess their other variants but…” Stephen scratched the back of his head, his eyes focused on every single one of the presents before they settled on Natasha. “The stronger the sorcerer or the witch, the stronger the spell, they can maintain it for a long time, and they are capable of creating the very same creatures that had been chasing America through the multiverse.”

“You are thinking about someone, aren’t you?” Carol crossed her arms shaking her head. “You think it’s Maximoff?”

Natasha shook her head, her hand waving away at this while she glared at the blond.

“Wait a second, Wanda made many mistakes in the past, but this is on a whole new level…”

“I agree with Romanoff.” Tony stated glaring at Carol. “Wanda may have made many mistakes, but this particular case we are talking about murdering to get to an innocent kid…”

“She created and slaved a whole town, I mean…” Carol said shrugging, she turned to Strange nodding. “Besides, I don’t see Strange fighting much my affirmation.”

Everyone turned to Stephen who was looking at some point on the floor, the man sighed lifting his face nodding.

“That’s my theory, actually.” Stephen lifted a hand to stop any arguments, he locked eyes with Tony trying to appear as the voice of reason. “However, I do agree with you. This Wanda, our Wanda has gone through so much…I don’t think it is her, perse.”

Monica furrowed her brows tilting her head, “what exactly do you mean with our Wanda? You mean…”

“I think it may be another version of her.” Stephen stated firmly.

Everyone jumped startled when a glass fell to the ground, Natasha opened her eyes wide turning to Stephen. She was paled, as if all of a sudden, she saw a ghost.

“Dream walking…is it possible…is it possible that they can show themselves in dreams to other people?” Natasha asked. “It is possible for them to…make physical damage through the dreams?”

Stephen opened his eyes at this, he stood up rather fast striding towards Natasha while placing his hands on the Widow’s shoulders.

“What exactly has happened, Romanoff?”

Natasha felt her world turned around, dizziness overcome her as she remember you telling her about your dreams. The hickey…the scratches… and right there and then, Natasha knew you were in trouble. Carol observed the scene and went from Natasha to Stephen and then back, she clenched her jaw understanding without any more words what was happening. She turned around and went right through the window without hearing the screams from Monica and Natasha for her to stop.

Carol would not wait. You were in danger, and she was not about to let anyone harm you. Much less Wanda Maximoff.

______________________________________________________________

The city of Ulsteinvik was filled with snow and wintery activities that include Winter festival in which the shipyard became the main attraction.

School was over for the day, and many had been invited over to the main festivities that would welcome the weekend. America was bouncing reluctantly around her classmates, her eyes drifting to where you were standing near the car with Vera and other teachers around. She put the jacket around herself, her eyes drifting around until they fell on Wanda; the young woman was strolling down the streets watching everything in awe while trying to locate America and Y/N.

“Hey, America, are you coming?” America turned around to see one of her classmates calling to her, she hesitated nodding pointing in the general direction.

“I will, give me five!”

Wanda smiled at the approaching figure of America; she observed as the teen waved her friends before making her way towards her. America was smiling, her face beaming with emotion at being part of something as mundane as a festival, but also knowing this was the chance she was looking for. The last two days, you and Wanda had been civil around one another, and little by little you had been lowering your defenses to try and get closer to Wanda.

Everything was going according to plan.

“Hey, Wands!” America wrapped her arms tightly around the redhead, Wanda offered a tiny smile fixing America’s hair while pointing to the group of teens waiting at the other end of the street.

“Aren’t you embarrassed to be showing such affection towards me?” The comment was meant to be a joke, Wand didn’t pretend to be nothing else but an acquaintance of America.

The young woman crunched up her nose shaking her head, “Never, Wands you are like…I…you are family.”

Both shifted awkwardly, the conversation dying for a moment until both of you heard your laughter. Vera was rubbing your arm, laughing at something someone else had said; America scowled at her closeness, and she could see that Wanda was not happy with it either. The young woman took that moment to call upon you, making sure everyone turned to see her and Wanda waiting.

“Y/N!! We’re here!” Wanda opened her eyes wide; she saw the glint of mischief in America’s eyes but before she could say something you had already gotten there, your lips breaking into an easy smile.

“Hey, kiddo, ready for the festival?” You passed your arm around her shoulders, America nodded grabbing Wanda’s hand and putting her closer to you.

For a brief moment, America could sense the tension around the three of you. Wanda was almost touching your arms, and you were close enough to see her clear, green eyes gleaming warmly at you. Something inside your heart shifted, and you knew glancing at those eyes was dangerous.

“I am, but I just…” America trailed off looking back at her friends. “I mean, Wanda came over and Kathe and the others are waiting…”

The breeze went pass you brushing your heated skin for a moment, you shot America a quick glance trying to gauge her real intensions but not seeing anything beyond her eagerness to be a part of the festival. Wanda was holding her breath; her whole body was hurting due to the tension she was putting on her posture.

“Go on, I take care of Wanda.” You finally replied, the words of Natasha running around your mind as you realized this could be a chance to have that conversation you have been avoiding the last couple of days.

“Good, you guys are awesome!” She hugged the both of you at the same time before walking back waving. “See you in few!”

A long uncomfortable silence filled the space left by America.

You stood there feeling a pair of eyes on the back of your neck, and you were pretty sure Wanda and Vera had their attention on you. The last couple of days had been strange, to say the least. Wanda, America, and you had been left alone with a great house and a feeling of familiarity you hadn’t felt in a long time. The last conversation you had with Natasha and Yelena had been dancing around your mind ever since they left, and the intensity of those conversations only increased whenever you were alone with Wanda.

And she had been in your mind at all times.

Even when you were dreaming.

The conversation you knew the both of you needed to have had been postponed mainly because you were a coward. And you didn’t want to fall all over again in the same pattern with Wanda, this time around you needed to let everything out and make sure Wanda understood how badly she had messed up.

“You don’t have to, you know?” Wanda broke the silence, her eyes downcast and her posture showing the defeat she had been feeling as of late. “I…I understand and you don’t…I know you don’t want to…”

Wanda shook her head, thinking herself and idiot for thinking perhaps you would want to talk to her, that perhaps this day was what they needed to start building a shaky friendship. But of course, your resentment was strong, and Wanda could not pretend to have the conversation she was dying to have with you to happen anytime soon.

The young witch was turning around ready to stroll around the city before going home when a warm hand wrapped around her wrist. She stopped death on her tracks, turning to face you and finding uncertainty in your eyes.

“Where are you going?” You furrowed your brows, uncertainty filling your mind. You were hoping to break the huge wall that was between you and Wanda, to try and lower your defense and start the process of forgiveness.

To finally hear the advice from Tony, Natasha and even Yelena.

“I…I just thought…” Wanda tried to speak but she had distracted herself with your hand holding her wrist, your eyes glancing at her intently. “I just thought I…walk around the city, you can…I know you must be busy.”

This kind of thing used to be easier.

You remembered all those times in which you would merely whisper a plan, and Wanda was dragging you around to comply with them. Now, everything was uncertain, and your mind kept on playing the treason but also the moments in which Wanda had been hurt, lost…miserable.  You took a deep breath, taking a step closer to her, you let go of her hand and made sure she was listening to you.

“I would like to talk to you, I think this is a long overdue conversation between you and me.” You mumbled shrugging. “But, I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to…”

“I do!” Wanda blushed at the abruptness of her answer, she almost fell on her face while trying to hold her emotions.

You couldn’t help but snicker, Wanda wincing before nodding briefly.

“Yes, I think…we…we need to talk.”

“Good then, now that we’re on the same page I know a place you may like, wanna come?” You offered a single smile, that Wanda returned tentatively.

You were very conscious of the growing tension between Wanda and yourself.

It was something you had been living with in the last couple of months since the witch returned to your life. It was almost impossible not to experience it after the myriad of emotions going through your system whenever you thought of Wanda Maximoff.

Now that the both of you were finally alone by circumstances, more so than by election, and the conversation you and her never have was something quite inevitable right now.  The streets of Ulsteinvik were filled with people all making their way to the harbor and the shipyard, the conversation in a mixture of Norwegian and English made a cacophony of sounds that surrounded Wanda distracted her from her current situation, her mind had been a pool of thoughts and emotions she had been too scare to face but now that she had the possibility, she wasn’t sure how to approach.

Her eyes fell upon your figure, the confidence with which you strolled down the streets made her falter. A tingle filled with anticipation started growing on her stomach, and it spread out to her chest and limbs; Wanda was trying to organize her thoughts, to think on what to say…she thought she was prepared for this confrontation but, as you guide her inside a café and requested for something warm while sitting in front of her she realized, she was not ready.

“You mingled with the people around here quite well.” Wanda commented lightly, lowering her gaze to the table while wiggling her hands. “You have been living here for a long time, right?”

You pursed your lips nodding curtly, if Wanda was nervous about this conversation, you were ready to explode from anxiety this brought to you. Right there was Wanda, as you had always imagined her. Her long hair falling in waves around her shoulders and back, her deep green eyes gleaming with uncertainty and shyness like that very first meeting in which you bowed to love her. How many years had passed since then? How many wounds? How many treasons?

The waitress offered a kind smile while placing the cups on the table.

The warmness of the liquid brushed your mouth, and helped you distract yourself from the inevitable. Wanda played with a napkin, her gestures revealing the same nervousness you had been hiding ever since she got to your place.

“I have been living here for seven years.” You finally revealed leaning back on the chair, your eyes wandering around refusing to look at the woman sitting in front of you. “This place was refreshing for me, a new beginning.”

Wanda chewed on her lower lip, her trembling hands grabbing the porcelain cup warming up her sweaty palms.

“Can I…” She hesitated lifting her face only to see your eyes on her, you nodded curtly raising a single eyebrow at her. Wanda shivered before asking her question. “Can I know what you did before coming here?”

Wanda had never heard of you after you left the Avengers’ compound, you had disappeared and no one, not even Natasha, was able to provide any news about your whereabouts. You tensed lightly remembering those dark times in your life, the traveling through the shadows and accepting random jobs to get some money and make yourself forget the pain of your broken heart.

You rested your hands on the table, knitting your brows together you pursed your lips thinking about an answer. Your whole body ignited when her hand placed itself on yours, and her eyes were showing regret and begging for you to forgive her.

“You don’t…you don’t have to tell me, I just…” Wanda sighed squeezing your hand tenderly. “I was just curious.”

“I was in a dark place, Wanda.” The sound of the customers filling out the café made this conversation a private one, Wanda went rigid at these words.

Your eyes fell on your hands still wrapped comfortingly under hers, your heart was beating fast and a part of you wished you weren’t in love with her anymore. That your heart had healed enough for the woman sitting in front of you to not affect you the way she was doing at the moment.

“I’m sorry.” Wanda whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks, her words carrying with them the weight of your history with her.

You shrugged bitterly, taking your hand away from her while drinking your coffee.

“It doesn’t matter, I was hurt and lost and I just need a way to vent over my frustrations and my pain.”

“Y/N…” Wanda started but now that you had spoken it was impossible for you to stop.

You clenched your eyes closed, before making sure Wanda was hearing everything you had to say. Everything you had always wanted to say to her.

“I was broken, Wanda, I…travel around trying to harm myself, to make my physical pain greater than my emotional one.” You let out a snort looking out of the window. “I didn’t make it, and I grew tired…that was when I let Natasha find me.”

Wanda heard as you told her everything you had done, and a part of her felt grateful for this. It was the very first time she had accessed you, in a way she had lost after that day. You told her about your misgivings, about your findings, how you came to Norway and ended up being a double agent for Tony and Steve. You told her about your falling out with Steve when the man tried to make you find reason and confront Wanda.

“Then, a few months ago I received some tapes…” You shrugged, tired and suddenly lighter, “Westview…my anger and resentment were back and now…I can’t keep living my life hating you, Wanda. I can’t live my life with resentments and without daring to look at you. Not anymore.”

Wanda wrapped her arms around herself, she didn’t know what to say or how to react to your story. The side of the story she had always been curious about, but no one was ready to reveal to her. She heard about your lovers, and her heart broke into a million pieces knowing you had found comfort in other’s arms. She knew she didn’t deserve your forgiveness, the knowledge of you forgetting about her little by little brought pain she had been experiencing all her life.

“It was never my intention to hurt you, Y/N.” She all but whispered, you snorted shrugging once more. Your lips broke into a bitter smile while your eyes shone with unshed tears.

“We can’t help who we fall in love with, right?” You replied in a broken tone, Wanda scrunched up her nose ready to be honest with you for the very first time in a long time.

“I wasn’t in love with Vision.” Wanda noticed the shredded napkin on her hands, her heart was beating painfully hard against her ribcage while she made herself look at you.

Your back and shoulders were hurting for all the tension you were putting in them, this revelation was something you were not expecting. Your eyes finally looked with those of Wanda, and for a brief moment you saw red swirling around her green irises. The dreams that had been plaguing your for a long time coming in several images, Wanda and Scarlet mixing up just as you heard her voice.

Mine. Only mine.

As much as I have always been yours, my love.

“You have a funny way to show you are not in love with him.” You broke the spell shaking your head, frowning while clenching your fists. “You slept with him, and then you spend your time travelling with him, that and let’s not forget Westview and the happy family you had there.”

Anger was far easier than any other emotion, you clenched your jaw watching as Wanda broke in front of you. So much different than Scarlet, and yet…

“I was never in love with him. I was just…a coward. I was afraid.” She mumbled, her head pulsating painfully. Sparks of red appearing on her fingertips, and the blackness she had come to associate with her blackouts flickering in and out of her fingers as she spoke.

“You’re telling me you…you cheated on me with someone you didn’t even love?” You clenched your jaw putting money out of your pocket and leaving it on the table.

Wanda watched as you stood up and left, she hesitated, the pain inside her head almost unbearable a tug on her abdomen making her stand up and follow you.

“I…yes! Yes! I…god, Y/N, I was afraid and I was confused and I just…” Wanda followed you speaking louder, she didn’t realize she was crying until the cold winter wind touch her face. “I didn’t know…It went against everything I had been taught and my parents…my brother…I thought…”

“I was in love with you, Wanda!” You turned around screaming at the top of your lungs. “ I had the ring, and the house…I even had the names of our children…”

“I know…I found them in the compound, I just…” And Wanda felt the pulsating pain in her head mixing up with her thoughts. Scarlet tried to push the other woman away, tried to tell you that the children were yours…that she had seen it all and that she had created the world for you and her, but at some point, her counterpart, this Wanda had messed up.

The people walking down the streets all turned to look at you and Wanda, the both of you were close enough to touch one another yet it was quite evident there was a distance neither one of you knew how to close.  Wanda winced hugging herself tightly, she opened her mouth and closed, the push inside her chest breaking her resolution and her eyes gleamed red for a brief moment until you finally saw it.

One red.

One green.

Her voice, their voices…sounding like one.

“I have lost everything, Y/N. I lost my parents, and I lost myself in hatred and revenge, I gave myself to be an experiment, and then I lost Pietro.” Wanda spoke with a broken voice, she shook her head trying to tell you how she felt. “I could never tell you…you were such…god, you were such a powerful force that made me feel I could do anything, I could be anyone…but then…they started talking about the reconstruction of Sokovia, and Tony brought my parents to be buried alongside Pietro.”

You were trembling in rage and helplessness, Wanda talking about her upbringing. She talked about her mother’s teachings, the church’s teachings and what was expected of her. Wanda spoke about the fears she was not brave enough to tell you for fear of your rejection. She spoke of her papa, and how he had taught her a lesson at some point when she showed her attraction for another woman. The confusion she felt when Vision approached her with a speech about logic, biology and philosophy, about the wrongness of what she was feeling, but also about the nature behind experimenting.

“I couldn’t I just…I didn’t…” Wanda almost felt on her knees, but you were faster than her. She rested against your body, crying with tension building around her body refusing to return your embrace. And in all of this you saw them, Wanda and Scarlet, and your fears and suspicions were clarified at that moment.

They were one and the same, yet two different entities.

“I’m sorry, I never…you…I don’t know why Westview…but they are yours…just yours…” Wanda was crying now trying to get away from you. “I just messed up…I…I’m so broken I just…”

Your heart broke at the sight.

It didn’t justify her, and in all honestly the conversation had not been clear enough. But a part of you, the one that had been running in fear for what you were and who you are, understood.

“I’m sorry.” Wanda repeated over and over, and you put her tighter against yourself.

“It’s…It’s okay.” You mumbled placing a comforting kiss on her head. “It’s okay, Wanda.”

“I can’t…I couldn’t…” Wanda cried softly, and Scarlet pushed through what Wanda had to say all along. “I love you…I…never…I never stop and you…”

Scarlet stirred inside Wanda; she was so close.

It was the right time to make her move. Scarlet was finally at her breaking point, your warmness and your words, the feeling of your skin and your kisses. It was time to get rid of Wanda and for her to come forth. America was around the city and Natasha and Yelena were no longer there.

This time around, the spell would be successful, and Billy and Tommy would be back. And no one would dare to intervene.

“N-No…N-no, please, not…not again…” Wanda screamed in pain, and just as Scarlet was ready to come forth, the humming sound of a flying object approaching broke into the sky.

You tensed.

That humming was familiar, and the hairs at the back of your neck stood up at the energy surrounding such an individual.

You were so distracted you never noticed when the green eyes were lost replaced by the crimson of Scarlet. When you lowered your gaze, the woman was smiling at you, this time around she was not afraid to wrap her arms around you.

“You are mine, detka. Finally.”

“Get your hands away from her, Maximoff!” The golden blast almost made you falter, but your shadows and Scarlet’s reflex were enough to prevent the blast for harming any of you.

Carol Danvers landed with a heavy step, the blasting of energy coming out to put Wanda away from you. The shadows engulfed you separating you from Wanda, while at the same time protecting the redhead form any harms.

“You!” Scarlet growled out, her hands wriggling around with a red mist, while her fingertips started taking in a black colouring. “I won’t let you take her away from me!”

Carol advanced ready to fight the other woman, you opened your eyes wide.

Scarlet wasn’t the only one there.

The red mixed up with purple, and the sky started igniting with runes you had never seen before. The world started trembling, and the smirk Scarlet was wearing told you she was the one working on her magic.

“Carol, wait!” You approached both women, Carol hesitated turning to you with a concern frown when she noticed the blood on your forehead.

“Y/N…” She whispered turning to you, “Strange told us he thinks it is her…”

“I know.” You replied running to the blond woman, Scarlet clenched her jaw refusing to see as Carol’s hand went to your forehead cleaning up the blood in there.

“You knew?” Carol scowled turning her golden eyes to Wanda.

“You won’t have her, Y/N is mine and no one will get in the way.”

At that moment several things happened.

Carol decided to attack Scarlet without hearing your screams of warning, your powers igniting to try and prevent an ever-bigger incident when Scarlet exploded in a bubbled of red mist while the sky above your heads went purple and the runes shone with energy.

Everything around you went black and then, all of a sudden you knew no more.

______________________________________________________________

You heard the beeping of the machines breaking into your unconscious state.

Your body shivered, and this only made you aware of the deep pain you were experimenting. You opened your mouth, for a minute it took all your energy to get out the simplest of moans charged with pure pain. You tried to remember what had happened, what you did and what exactly did Scarlet and Carol did to put you in such a state.

Your eyelids were heavy, but you tried to open your eyes to see exactly where you were at.

Another moan, this one firmer. Your eyes fluttered open, and you had to blink a couple of times due to the intensity of the light.

“MOMMA!”

“MOM!”

Whatever pain you were experimenting, whatever reluctance you had in regards to opening your eyes completely were soon forgotten when you heard those voices. Two boys voices.

You sat up sharply, this time around a scream of pain left your lips, but your eyes were seeing blurry trying to focus on the two figures standing by your bed. Their little hands grabbing yours, and as you blinked away you started focusing them.

“Momma, momma you’re alive!” One of them said hugging you tightly.

You blinked trying to get away, looking around desperately until you saw her.

Wanda Maximoff standing by the door, heavy bags under her puffy eyes. The tears still fresh and she came right at you closing the space in between you and her, her lips soft and tender against yours. For a brief moment you forgot about everything, your head tilting to deepen the kiss, to get reacquainted with Wanda’s taste. The softness of her lips, the warmness of her body…god you missed kissing her.

“God, detka I though…” She whispered smiling soppily when the twins made gagging sounds at the display of affection.

Wanda smiled at you leaning in to get another kiss, but you backed away almost falling from the bed finally registering what was happening. What you had done moments ago and what the woman in front of you was trying to do.

“What the fuck did you do, Scarlet?!! Where am I?! Where is Carol?”

Wanda stood right away, her hands spreading out protectively in front of the twins. She furrowed her brows tilting her head at you.

“Y/N?” She asked tentatively, you were about to speak but a wave of nausea came right at you.

“What’s…what’s going on?” You asked just before falling unconscious on the bed.

Wanda stood there for a moment, Billy pulling at her hand while glancing at your unconscious form.

“Mom, is momma okay?”

“Yes, dear, she is just…” Wanda trailed off turning to the boys. “Momma hurt herself really bad. Go find uncle Steve and Uncle Pietro.”

Tommy and Billy hesitated but then they nodded and left.

Wanda turned to you stepping closer, her hand placing itself on your forehead, while her eyes gleamed red. She hated to do this, it was an unspoken rule for her to never enter the heads of her friends and family. But your reaction, your questions…and what had happened with Strange’s death and the disappearance of America was enough for her to do this.

“I’m sorry my love, I promise you I won’t look beyond what I need to see.” She leaned in placing a kiss on your forehead, reading inside your mind until a whimper left her mouth. She opened her eyes big, stepping back just on time for Steve and Pietro to show at the door.

“Wanda?” Steve asked tentatively, Wanda turned to him nodding.

“I found America, and she…she is not my wife.” Wanda then wrapped her arms around her boys looking back at you then at Steve. “We are in serious trouble.”

______________________________________________________________

Tag List:

@username23345 - @wandanats-goodgirl - @catswag22 - @imadethisblogbecauseiamasimp - @marvelogic - @dumpaccdontmindme - @nikkinss - @reereeineedtopee - @kaisenblog - @your-internet-adviser - @dark-hunter16 - @wandabear - @justyourwritter69 - @wandasmarley - @imthenatynat - @bisexualnoodle - @trikruismybitch - @fxckmiupup- @justafoolinlove - @teenybean - @haunt626 - @itshouldvebeenme30 - @wandasmarley - @lonewalker17 - @alwaysgoodnight - @wandsmxmff - @iliketozoneout - @kacka84 - @get-the-fuck-outta-here - @charl-lally - @sadiesgf69 - @fanboy7794 - @yenmaximoff - @yenmaximoff - @the-mute1 - @the-mute1 - @when-wolves-howl - @mroyalll -@justhereformemes12345-blog - @justhereformemes12345-blog -@paaandiculations - @anaaam - @bibliophilicbi - @princess-kennys-rats - @danicarpediem - @iliketozoneout - @oh-thats-cute - @screechcat - @sheriffhaughtearp - @romanoffomixam - ohboiiitsbritneeeeey - @marveloussimp - @g-athenaathens - @mousecakez - cowboyboots236 - weird-shit-i-see-and-enjoy - esposadejoyhuerta - marvelogic

Please, tell me if I forgot anyone.

[telvess]

Record of Ragnarok, Apollo x Reader (shot) 🔞

Request for @tulipminami :3 It came out a little different than I've plained. And booyyy... I lost all the confidence I had built with my lame English. Forgive me for all mistakes!

It’s been long time since you left your human life behind you to join Apollo’s retinue and you didn’t regret that decision at all because previous life was full of mushy expectations and unjust restrictions. For as long as you could remember, all you wanted to do was archery and by being by Apollo side, you could dedicate yourself to it completely. However, after some time you discovered something else within yourself: a love for music, but not just any music - the celestial music of Apollo. His melodious voice together with radiant harp never fail to shook your soul. You fell in love the first time you heard his performance. You weren’t even supposed to be there - you were just passing by - you only saw in the distant many women surrounding Apollo and the reason behind it didn’t matter to you until you heard his song. The affection you had to the Sun God’s music started that moment and had never begun to lessen. That’s why every time Apollo expressed a desire to play, you were there to listen. Later you found the courage to ask him for a song directly. It had become your routine - after every archery session you sat down to listen to his performance. It was just for the two of you. — So… — Apollo put on his golden gauntlets and created a harp — What song would you like to listen, y/n? You put your arrows to the quiver. — Song of Seikilos! — you said with excitement, because that song was created by human in your lifetime. Even if you didn’t miss your past life, you felt a strange connection with that song. Apollo smiled at you and touched the chords. As the sad melody rung out, you closed your eyes to fully enjoy the moment. The song was gentle and full of sorrow, it was written in remembrance of a deceased wife. After an extended beginning Apollo began singing. The world confined itself to just small space you two shared. With your eyes closed you were surprised that Apollo’s voice was becoming louder and clearer over time. You opened your eyes to see his handsome face right in from of you. Your noses were almost touching. There was something strange in his eyes, some kind of a spark that you’d never noticed before. Perhaps it was just your imagination… Once he finished the song, everything went back to normal, so you attributed his unusual behaviour as a part of his performance. — This time you sounded different — you said your thought out loud. — It was amazing! You two started walking down the path. — You think so? — Yes, your voice will never cease to impress me — you knew he needed his daily dose of praising and you didn’t mind giving it to him. — Mm… — he murmured with contentment. Suddenly Apollo stopped and so did you. You frowned as you saw that strange thing in his eyes again that you couldn’t name before. — You weird — you said with laugh. — How could you say such thing? — he looked outraged, but you knew he joked around. — I’m kidding — you admitted anyway. The corner of his lips moved slightly, his eyes met yours, and suddenly the air around you became heavier. Part of your subconscious knew what was about to happen before it happened. As Apollo leaned towards you, you understood what his strange look meant. He had never shown even a hint of desire for you. — No! — you shouted — Don’t do it! Apollo froze for a moment, confusion was all over his face. — Why not? — his face quickly lighted up — You would like this — he declared. You blushed at this sudden confession. How could being so sweet and confident at the same time come so naturally to him? — Ugh, because we’re friends! — you said as it was the most obvious thing in the world. — That doesn’t collide — he said, innocently. — It does. Afterwards we would be awkward — you muttered, a weird pressure preventing you from looking him in the eyes anymore. — We? Awkward? — Apollo repeated slowly, as if he couldn’t believe what you just said. — Nonsense! You just smiled at him and started walking again. You hoped he would drop that subject and your prayer was answered: Apollo followed you, however you spent the rest of the way in silence.

The next time you spent time together, Apollo at first looked like nothing had happened. You decided to not give it a second thought and enjoy company of a friend, but the longer you were together, the more you saw subtle changes in his behaviour. — That was lovely. I’ve never heard that song before — you said after listening to his performance. Apollo just gave you another of his beautiful smiles, but something told you it was forced. Tired of this game you decided to bring it up. — You seem distracted. — Hmm? How so? You knew he played dumb, and you felt in your guts that he knew you knew. Maybe he was pretending on purpose because he wanted you to start this conversation? — Apollo… — A thought occurred to me — he confessed with thoughtful expression. You didn’t dare break the silence again, so you just watched him. Apollo quickly noticed that — Nothing to worry about, dear! — Tell me! — you lost your temper — Just tell me what’s bothering you. It seemed Apollo actually waited for you to drilling the topic, this time a smile that appeared on his face wasn’t forced. He placed a finger on his chin as if he was deep in thought about how to put into words what was on his mind. — Well… — he started very slowly, his eyes fell on you — A girl who doesn’t want to taste my lips. You blinked quickly. Apollo regaled you with playful smile, toying with your shocked reaction. — Oh, I see… how cleaver of you — you mumbled, your cheeks warmed up by the treatment he just gave you, but you didn’t let yourself lost in that pleasant tickling inside your belly and quickly came up with an idea — Think of it this way: you would be very disappointed with my performance — as you finish sentence, you found enough bravery to stab his chest with your finger. Fate had decided that your finger landed right between decorative stripes that barely covered his chest. You swallowed, feeling his bare skin. Apollo stared at the place you just touched in silence. You had no idea if this simple action had the same effect on him as it had on you, or if he was just considering if you had crossed the line with your impertinence. — How so? — Apollo asked after awhile, he still seemed pensive. — Isn’t it obvious? You knew that he knew everything about you. Even that you’d never touched other lips before. As if he reading your thoughts, Apollo said: — That wouldn’t make it worse, just different. You didn’t know what to answer. His commitment scared you a little, so your legs carried you by themselves. You could felt his gaze on your back and unpleasant feeling in your chest.

It’s been a few days since you spoke to each other. You needed time to sort out your emotions. Apollo didn’t pressure you, which you greatly appreciated. You found him in a clearing behind his palace, resting below a olive tree. You approached him with a gentle smile, repeating in your mind prepared speech. Apollo didn’t react to your presence, almost as if he didn’t notice you. — Apollo, would you like to sing for me? — you asked. You just needed to break the ice and then the opportunity to talk about your problem would arrive itself. But Apollo had other plans. — I believe I don’t have time right now — was his reply. It was strange, but you understood. — Later then? — I’m gonna be busy. You frowned, you definitely weren’t expecting a second rejection. — With what? — you asked, surprised. His face was blank the entire time, he didn’t look at you once. Sky seemed much more interesting to him. — I don’t know yet — Apollo remained adamant. You felt a pang in your heart that quickly filled with anger. — Ugh! — you left him under the tree. You couldn’t believe how he just treated you. And all that because of a kiss? You felt partly betrayed but - what surprised you the most - in the other hand, you shared his aversion towards you. Maybe the anger you felt wasn’t directed at Apollo? Maybe you were very stupid? Maybe it was a time for…?

The sounds of splashing water, giggles, laughs, birdsong… What a sweet day it was to take a bath. You'd finally decided - after all these years - that it was time for you to join the other women in their daily fun in the fountain. You unbuckled your belt and let the toga fell. The breeze made you shiver, but you liked it. You looked around, but nobody even notice - or more likely, bothered - what you you had just done and that realization gave you the strength to overcome your innate shyness. — Now, now, my ladies, don’t you worry. I promise there’s plenty for every single one of you — you overheard Apollo.

He sat at his usually spot, right below a sculpture depicting his likeness, surrounded by women of every species. They squealed and giggled as he placed small kisses on their foreheads. Except for the warm rays of the sun, everyone was too busy to notice that you had entered the fountain. Or you hoped so. When you were dipping in the water, you checked the gathering once more and your eyes met Apollo’s. Whatever was going on in his mind wasn’t visible on his face. Even if he wanted to greet you or show any other kind of attention, ladies around him wouldn’t give him opportunity to do so. The water was perfect. Not to mention the delicate aroma of flowers wafting through, that probably could calm down the most enraged berserker. You let your body relax in a place of your choosing, on the side of the sculpture, leaning against the edge of the fountain. You didn’t come with any particular plan so you just watched and let things play out. Apollo was a man of his word, he fulfilled his promise with great passion. You couldn’t help but smiled at his commitment. When there were only a few women left, you turned your back on him and waited. The corners of your mouth twitched as you felt his hand on your back. Apollo approached you on the side with soft but very happy smile. Sudden shivers down your spine surprised you. — Oh, h-hi — you said.

Apollo's eyes rested on your chest for only a second, but the moment your eyes met again, your confidence flew away. Why did your stupid heart have to beat faster now? Everything was going smoothly until now, but suddenly it seemed like control was slipping away from you. — I like what I see — Apollo said in the most charming way possible. You always thought you knew him very well. How naive of you… It seemed like you only knew one side of him. You had witnessed many of his flirting attempts, but that was the very first time he had used his charm on you and nothing could have prepared you for it. — And I don’t like that I’m not h-hearing somet-thing — you barely mumbled. Your cheeks started to burn. Apollo lowered his head to be at the same level as yours. You could get lost in his eyes for days. Before you knew it, you were leaning towards him as if you were under hypnosis. You felt his warm breath on your lips when he also began to close the gap between you. You looked at full lips of his, you’d seen them so many times, yet this time you wanted something different from them. Not just singing, even if that was the reason you came here. And as you two were about to kiss, the rest of your consciousness forced you to place your finger on Apollo’s lips. — Wait — you whispered — Will you sing for me? Apollo’s concern disappeared when he understood what you meant. A smile he sent you took your breath away. He grabbed your hand and placed a gentle kiss on your finger. — All night long — he promised. He didn’t give you any time for objection - even if he knew you didn’t have any - and kissed you. It wasn’t like you were caught by surprise but you’d never felt any lips before and that sudden experience shocked you a bit. You froze, trying to process everything you felt. Apollo’s sweet and soft lips that now gently massaged yours, the burning sensation flowing from face to chest, and from chest to pussy, and was taking away every piece of common sense. His delicious scent, his hand that appeared out of nowhere at your cheek, his thumb that slowly caressed your chin and encouraged you to join him in this quaint dance. You had no idea what to do, so you listened to your instinct. You grabbed his lower lip and squeezed a little. Your hand found his neck on its own as you deepened the kiss. At some point, Apollo’s tongue started exploring your mouth which made everything even more intense. You heard someone moaning and with surprise you realized it was you. The fountain, the other women, the water, the birdsong, everything became distant. The world had been closed so nobody or nothing could disturb you. Apollo pulled you closer to him. You touched his perfectly sculpted muscles, enjoying touch of warm skin. His hands roamed freely on your back and waists, sending shivers down every nerve in your body. You felt chills between your legs. Your body completely relaxed under his touch and the kiss felt so good that you wondered why you hadn’t tried it before. You could spend days just kissing Apollo’s lips.

Then everything was back on track, the world existed again: water in the fountain, other women around you, the sweet birdsong and the clean sky above you. Apollo stopped the kiss but still held you close to his chest. You heard his heartbeat. You looked into his warm eyes and you saw the same excitement you felt. — Was that disappointed? — you asked. Apollo blinked few times in surprise, but quickly smiled at you. — Not at all — he answered slowly — Are we awkward? Now was your turn to blink. You snorted which led to laugh, Apollo joined you. You felt his entire figure was shaking. He was right - you two awkward? What a nonsense! You cooled down and - with sly smile on your face - sprayed Apollo with water. You caught him completely off guard, which gave you enough time to get out of his reach. You leaped over fountain’s rim and ran a few meters away to where you left your toga. You looked over your shoulder to see Apollo’s very pleasant face. He knew he didn’t have to follow you and you knew where to look for him at night. After all, he owned you so many songs.

[reasonsforhope]

"When President Joe Biden signed a proclamation Tuesday establishing a national monument honoring Emmett Till and his mother, Mamie Till-Mobley, it marked the fulfillment of a promise Till’s relatives made after his death 68 years ago.

The Black teenager from Chicago, whose abduction, torture and killing in Mississippi in 1955 helped propel the Civil Rights Movement, is now an American story, not just a civil rights story, said Till’s cousin the Rev. Wheeler Parker Jr.

“It has been quite a journey for me from the darkness to the light,” Parker said during a proclamation signing ceremony at the White House attended by dozens, including other family members, members of Congress and civil rights leaders.

“Back then in the darkness, I could never imagine the moment like this, standing in the light of wisdom, grace and deliverance,” he said.

With the stroke of Biden’s pen, the Emmett Till and Mamie Till-Mobley National Monument, located across three sites in two states, became federally-protected places. Before signing the proclamation, the president said he marvels at the courage of the Till family to “find faith and purpose in pain.”

“Today, on what would have been Emmett’s 82nd birthday, we add another chapter in the story of remembrance and healing,” Biden said...

On Tuesday, reaction poured in from other elected officials and from the civil rights organizing community. The Rev. Al Sharpton said the Till national monument designation tells him “that out of pain comes power.”

House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jefferies said the monument “places the life and legacy of Emmett Till among our nation’s most treasured memorials.”

“Black history is American history,” he said in a written statement...

Till-Mobley demanded that Emmett’s mutilated remains be taken back to Chicago for a public, open casket funeral that was attended by tens of thousands of people. Graphic images taken of Emmett’s remains, sanctioned by his mother, were published by Jet magazine and fueled the Civil Rights Movement...

Altogether, the Till national monument will include 5.7 acres (2.3 hectares) of land and two historic buildings. The Mississippi sites are Graball Landing, the spot where Emmett’s body was pulled from the Tallahatchie River just outside of Glendora, Mississippi, and the Tallahatchie County Second District Courthouse in Sumner, Mississippi, where Emmett’s killers were tried...

The Illinois site is Roberts Temple Church of God in Christ in Chicago, where Emmett’s funeral was held in September 1955...

Mississippi state Sen. David Jordan, 90, was a freshman at Mississippi Valley State College in 1955 when he attended part of the trial of the two men charged with killing Emmett. As a state senator for the past 30 years, Jordan, who is Black, spearheaded fundraising for a statue of Emmett Till that was dedicated last year in Greenwood, Mississippi, a few miles from where the teenager was abducted.

On Tuesday, Jordan praised Biden for creating the Till national monument.

“It’s one of the greatest honors that a president could pay to a person, 14, who lost his life in Mississippi that’s created a movement that changed America,” Jordan told the AP."

-via AP, July 25, 2023

[sporadicarbitergardener]

Uses for sand

Types of Sand & Their Correspondences Beach/Coastal Sand: calming, grounding, cleansing, connecting to the sea, self-love, protection and warding, motivation, memory, spiritual clarity, purification of the heart, easing pain, physical and spiritual strength, can represent both the elements of earth and water Ocean Sand (from the ocean floor/deep sea): primordial energy, banishing negative emotions and energy, grounding, mental clarity, psychic clarity and strengthening, divination, guidance, ancient wisdom and power, connections to the sea and primordial waters, birth, creation, can represent both the elements of earth and water Desert Sand: curses and removing energy from others, weakening, draining, banishing, grounding, mental clarity, physical health, enduring hardships, “drying up” love and past emotions, healing heartbreak, burying the past, often related to burial ceremonies Volcanic Sand: destruction, intense energy, strength, death, rebirth, banishing, secrets or hidden messages, warding, baneful magic, offensive magic, often represents both earth and fire at once River Sand/Silt: fertility, procreation, movement, flowing energy, travels, change Lake/Pond Sand: the present, calmness, serenity, inner focus, self-reflection and meditation Swamp/Wetland Sand: mystery, secret keeping, silencing lies and rumors, binding, curses related to becoming lost or emotional heaviness, often represents both water and earth at once, often related to animal magic specifically those that live in swamp land Unearthed/Buried Sand: grounding, hidden power, addressing past issues and mistakes, overcoming controversy, self-discovery, introspection, emotional healing, moving on from past scars Biogenic Sand/Bone Sand/Shell Sand: healing, moving on emotionally, remembrance but letting go of the pain and loss, honoring those lost (often at or to the sea), close connections to necromancy Black Sand: protection, warding, banishing, relates to necromancy and spirit work Pink Sand: love, beauty, youth, harmony, adjusting to change, remembering the past and lost loved ones, rebirth, emotional and mental healing, forgiveness of self and others Red Sand: strength, courage, valor, relates to fire rather than earth Yellow Sand: divination, focus, improving memory and skills, mental health, grounding and centering, represents both earth and air elements sometimes both at once White Sand: purity, cleansing, protection, wisdom, preparing for change, physical and emotional balance, harmonizes all aspects of oneself Combinations of Sand and Other Ingredients Sand and Soil: grounding, balance, cleansing, protection of loved ones and family Sand and Salt: change, growing power, dreams, purification, warding, protection, longevity Sand and Ash: remembrance, the past, divination Sand and Clay: change, mental fortitude Sand and Kelp/Seaweed: beauty, youth, birth, fertility, the ocean image Originally posted by estpdra-thethirdeye

The History Not much history on the use of sand in magic from what I can find that is a reliable source, but I was able to find some bits about its use.

Sand has been used in connections to rituals for the dead and in burial practices in many different cultures to a varying degree. In some sand was used for burying the deceased such as very early Ancient Egypt for its mummification properties before better mummification methods were invented and utilized. Placing sand into graves or coffins of the deceased somethings as a means to connect them to their homelands if that person was traveling into foreign lands or countries. Some stories speak about mixing the ashes of the dead with sand to be kept in the home. Other stories tell of people mixes ashes from fires or the hearth with sand and casting it out into the sea for lost sailors who could not be brought home.

Sand was also used historical in some types of spell jars and vessels. In some places sand was put into jars and bottles and given to sailors to keep them connected to home even when sailing. Others said carrying sand could protect one from being lost at sea or from disaster, likely where the history of sand being used for protection properties came from. It has also been used in witch’s bottles and for burying spells for varying purposes. Some cultures would bury offerings to deities into the sand of beaches or deserts.

Modern Use Sand is still a common ingredient for many sea witches and worshipers of ocean related deities to utilize in their craft and in their altars. Deities commonly related to sand are Poseidon, Aphrodite, Psamathe, Thalassa, Aegir, Neptune and Veles. Sand is also often used in altars to represent either earth or water when representing the cardinal directions or the 4 elements. Some will use sand to represent both in cases of smaller altars.

Modernly, sand is often used in spell jars and bottles when used in spellwork or as a vessel to charge, cleanse and bury objects or tools such as crystals, poppets, amulets and trinkets. Sea witches or witches with accesses to large amount of sand will often use it for grounding and circle casting. Some will use it for runes and sigils as well.

Storing Sand For those wishing to store and use collected sand ensure that there is nothing undesirable in it - garbage, sharp bits of glass, decomposing fish or animals, insects etc. Shift it thoroughly to ensure anything that could be potentially dangerous is removed and if needed properly disposed of. Once the sand has been shifted ensure it is dry before you seal it into anything.

Wet sand can house bacteria and mold - which can also smell quite foul when the container is opened again. You can use the sun to dry it or indoor heaters at a safe distance. Spread it out thin and flat to help ensure it is thoroughly dried if it is damp or wet.

Once dried the best way to store sand is inside of glass or ceramic vessels. Jars and bottles are the most ideal. Ensure that they are sealed tightly to ensure no spillage or condensation can get inside.

[queenoffishingandcookies]

Battler / Valor’s Name

Considering Battler’s name is meant to be understood as a person who fights, a fighter, I wanted his name as a girl - whether he is transgender or had been outright genderbent - to reflect the same or similar meaning.

Because yes, I’m one of the people who occasionally choose to change a character’s name.

(Feel free to punch me, it’s habit.)

Taken straight from my phone notes, and pieced together from a lot of googling, I ended up with this:

(I’d copy and paste it, but tumblr wont let me, so you get a screenshot, sorry!)

Wish I could tell you I put a lot of thought into this, but I looked at the meaning of Battler (which is, in fact, an actual word) and began thinking of synonyms to a person who fights, or things that mean something similar.

Considering Ushiromiya Family Typical Behavior, in a world where Battler is physically born with female parts, it’s a half-and-half to me on whether she would be named Battler, like in close-to-canon AU’s where she is assumed male because that’s what her physical body says (at least at that time).

I don’t think it would be considered outright to be masculine, since it’s a weird name in the first place, I don’t think people would care? But also. It’s not a lady’s name???

And woman in the Ushiromiya Family have…very specific roles, to say the least, and those born into the family probably have very certain expectations weighing on their shoulders (because Kinzo is an asshole, but I digress-)

I have conflicting feels on it, don’t really know how to explain them, and I’ll…leave it at that.

It was a toss up between Valor or Aster or Asteria. Valor, because pronounced in Japanese it would start with the same ‘Ba’ sound. Valor generally means courage/bravery, especially in battle. Aster/Asteria because that flower, in hanakotoba, means remembrance/memory (and please, correct me if I’m wrong).

Also, I really like the flower.

Once I decided on the name itself, it was…actually just a googling spree on which kanji made the necessary sound. I took the first syllable from the canonical spelling of Battler’s name.

Literally scrolling through lists of kanji for a kanji that had the ‘ro’ sound and appropriate meaning - the jitenon website and wikitionary are where exactly I got them from, so it might not be accurate.

The kanji for yuu means, translated to english, courage. Which is often used to spell the name Yuki, which generally means something similar to Valor. It’s also similar enough to the ru sound, so I decided why not? Almost like an inside joke, though that probably wouldn’t actually work in real life?

Put into Google translate (always the best, well-reputable, never makes an error source), it means:

(Those are alternate readings of the kanji, and let me tell you, that was hell to figure out).

I had so many tabs opened in this process, so much scrolling down. I honestly wish I’d taken note, because it was as interesting as it was frustrating to look at the kanji and how many different meanings they had…

Also, if you’re born into the Ushiromiya family, you kind of have to have some level of bravery or courage, if not cutting cunning or an unfaltering poker face, to survive.

So yeah.

Battler = Valor.

Also, I really like the idea of a transgender Battler coming out, at some point, and choosing her new name after discarding the old, and keeping to the original meaning because - well, her mom gave it to her. The heart of its meaning was…kind of good, she wasn’t a wimp, she knew how to fight and how to fight well. Even if the wacky kanji is from her Ushiromiya side.

(Also considering social expectations of women at the time to be feminine, maybe that would constitute some sort of pressure on trying to select the right name for a young lady? To not be known as aggressive, but strong? To be called a fighter could have different connotations between a girl and boy, and that might be a discussion for another time and way over my head).

Please don’t flame me, if anyone takes offense, please have mercy and tell me if and how I am offensive.

Also, Valor is the only name I’ve looked at in-depth in how it might change for a genderbent or transgender umineko character. Except for maybe George’s.

and let me tell you. Eva, in entirely Genderbent worlds, as a boy. Having a daughter. His only child is a daughter. Wanting to be family heir - and not being heir for a variety of reasons, one of which being to spite the family elders who were still alive when he was born…George’s name would either be Georgia, Georgiana, or…George.

Because Evan wanted a boy, but got a girl, and even if she’s a girl, he’ll make sure she’ll be brought up with as fine an education as a boy and find a wealthy spouse- (it’s…kind of similar to how Jessica in canon has so much pressure on her shoulders from Natsuhi, to be a reputable heiress of the family in her own right even as a girl-).

There’s So Much There to look at, to say the least, and this post will get a lot longer if I wrote it out here.

(I did have an entire sheet of the others names and the kanji that they had but I LOST IT, and now I only have the western names for them set in stone. I’m still upset about that.)

[trans-rite]

2023 Trans Rite Opening Divination

Dear ones,

We’ve done our opening divination for this year’s Trans Rite and we wanted to update you with what we learned. We also encourage you to do your own divination and ask your own questions of the Ancestral Helping Spirits that we’ve been working with together, or others that you’ve incorporated into your practice, and would love to hear what you learn!

We reached out to the Ancestral Helping Spirits that we honor by name every year: Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Ray Rivera, and Comrade Leslie Feinberg. We confirmed that all three of them do want to be involved this year in helping us welcome the newly dead in our family, and giving them offerings of love, honor, and water for their journey. They also affirmed for us that moving from nine nights to one night is the right step to take this year, and that while there will be power in how many people will be doing it at the same time on November 20th, the Trans Day of Remembrance, it isn’t a problem to do it one or two nights before or after if you have to.

The revised FAQ here lays out the basic steps of the format, and we suggest you incorporate the specific offerings that they have all asked for this year. Marsha P. Johnson has suggested that we incorporate music from the past into the ritual itself, both as an offering to her and as a gift to the newly dead. Sylvia Rivera asked for the same offerings we’ve been making to her – including dulce de ajonjoli, and poppers and lube. Leslie Feinberg told us to include prayers for peace, so we’ll likely be including more Hebrew prayers this year as well.

The moderators also work with an entity called Agdistis in the Rite, whom we checked with and who is down to participate this year, so if venerating Agdistis as an ancestor or in other ways is part of your practice, we have their enthusiastic consent. Agdistis also reiterated what they always say, which is, “Give me the pain. I will take it and fix it.”               

The final piece of guidance that came through for us this year was that it’s a good idea to localize your ancestors of spirit just as you would you ancestors of blood. What trans saints and history makers lived where you live? Who are your local trans heroes, who may have left our kind of life behind them but who can take on that role of welcoming more people across the line? Finding the local Ancestor Helping Spirits in the place that you live, calling them in and honoring them by name  -- this will be a stronger practice than everyone honoring the same few people regardless of where you’re operating out of.

Ping us with any questions. As Leslie always tells us: Courage.

-- Mod Rocket

[xalicitie]

Aftermath — Wylan Van Eck (Angst)

Following Crooked Kingdom events, Wylan and Jesper are living together peacefully at the Van Eck mansion. Wylan’s father is behind bars, but after everything, Wylan finds himself more scarred than ever. After the pain gets unbearable, Wylan decided to reveal to Jesper why he really found himself in the slums of the Barrel.

I saw a fanfic like this on ao3, same plot with the whole Jesper finding out that Wylan’s father sent guards to kill his own son but I swear this is original I don’t even remember reading it. This is also like my first time writing angst and shit it’s so bittersweet to write it

I think I’m also gonna post this on ao3 I just made an acc so u might see it on there

Wylan didn’t think his life was real.

Living as a Van Eck had proved Wylan used to a chaotic lifestyle: intermittent abuse, most of the days being completely ignored by the people in his own house. Despite his newfound life as a rich man with the lover of his dreams, the years of Jan’s constant malicious words had caved a wound deep inside him, possibly beyond healing.

:readmore:

On the latter, Jesper was unshakeable. With all the money in the world, his debt paid off and able to roam a mansion of his own as much as he reckoned would satisfy him—the lack of gambling, however, had made him a little too jittery—Jesper didn’t really have a worry in life. At least, if he did, he feigned It’s nonexistence.

Jesper thought everything was over. For him it was, but for Wylan..it was terribly frustrating, but he couldn’t seem to move on from the past.

Wylan didn’t want to admit it to himself but, there in the dregs of his heart, he still cared about his father. He always had, despite every single cruel thing he’d deliberately done to his own son. Sending him to a prison didn’t sit well with him, not when he shared the same blood. Not when Wylan found himself still lingering to the time when Jan Van Eck was a father—truly too long ago that Wylan couldn’t cherish the scattered memories of the time, but there was an innate remembrance of the period. All Wylan really wanted, was his father to be accepting of his son again.

Hell, he should’ve moved on by now. For moments at a time, with Jesper—when they were sucked in a kiss, when Jesper would make a funny joke and everything in the past vanished for an impeccable moment. In music—his Kerch fingers running along the keys of the grand piano he never realized he missed so much, the sweet sound of his flute echoing in the garden. For moments at a time the past was cured.

Moments.

Wylan had read the newspaper one day and witnessed a large article with his father’s face front and center, describing the imprisonment of the once prestigious Van Eck. He went to the bathroom and cried like a child.

The ache got unbearable enough that eventually Wylan got the courage to have a talk with Jesper. He didn’t necessarily know the exact things he was going to tell him—which was quite odd, since Wylan usually planned things beforehand in case things went awry, but, as far as he knew, he was going to fill in Jesper with what he didn’t know.

“So.” Jesper placed his tea cup on the table side and climbed their queen sized bed, watching Wylan with anticipating eyes. “What is it you wanted to talk to me about?”

Wylan’s fingers were fidgeting fervently. He licked his top lip and inhaled a breath.

It’s going to be okay.

“I didn’t tell you everything.” He started, taking small steps toward the bed. “About my father.”

“I didn’t think he could do a lot worse than he’s already done.” Jesper said with a short chuckle, then cut his mirth off like the twig of a tree. He saw Wylan’s blue eyes gloss, and every bit of happiness, every exaggeration of it inside of him, vanished like the coin of a magic trick.

“Come here.” He offered, gesturing to the bed. Wylan nodded, a bare budge of his head, and climbed into the space beside his boyfriend.

Jesper cradled Wylan into a warm hug, watching him attentively. Wylan resisted every urge to dismiss all that was happening here.

“I..I didn’t run away.” His words were tentative and pithy. He could barely maintain eye contact with Jesper, but he tried. “One day, my father told me he was going to send me to a music school in Belendt. It was convincing enough; he put two chaperones on the boat with me. We were out on the shore, a distance away from the harbor of Ketterdam, when..”

Something caught his throat. His father’s guard, Prior’s, hands were suddenly tight against his neck. The distance from the harbor and the panic of that day were tangibly there, like he were living through it once again.

Then there was a warmth at his fingers. Jesper was taking his hand in his.

“Go on, Wy.” He urged with a soft tone. The memory was farther, less real now that Jesper was there, fingers intertwining with Wylan’s.

Wylan took in a breath. “I was never meant to get to Belendt. My father, he..wanted me dead before the ship could ever reach land.”

There was silence. Wylan had gone over such things too much for his own good, but it still hurt to relive it. Especially say it to someone.

“Saints, Wylan, I’m so sorry.”

Wylan was never really fond of sentiment, but something in the tone of Jesper’s voice made his throat taut, struck his face with a squirmy sensation. He knew tears were coming.

“I didn’t think I could hate your father more.” Wylan faced Jesper fully, allowing himself to be vulnerable. “I don’t think even prison deserves him.”

There was little humor there. Jesper’s voice had turned bitter.

He wanted to believe that. Wylan desired with every swell of his heart that he could hate his father. Thinking about it made the tears come quicker, and Wylan found himself swiping bitterly at the first tear that streamed down his face.

As his chest heaved in heavy waves, Wylan found his face cupped by Jesper’s hand, his lovely fingers thumbing his lightly damp cheek. The next tear came at the other cheek, and Wylan was suddenly fighting an avalanche from falling.

“I still love him.” Wylan said, and a little cry followed. “I want to hate him. After everything, why can’t I hate him?”

Wylan reeled at the weakness in his voice. He hated how pitiful he sounded. But Jesper’s loving, caring gaze made that feel irrelevant.

“He’s your father.”

It was, after everything, so simple. He would always love him, he would always long for what they once shared so long ago—a father-son bond, nothing more, nothing less.

Wylan curled into Jesper, weeping. Slowly, he unfurled the years of abuse he’d undergone, the words of his father’s that stung the most, the days he felt most alone and didn’t think he’d surmount to anything at all. And Jesper was there, the prize after all the hurt and the pain, the priceless sunset falling against the hills at the end of a long, tedious day.

Wylan had found his real home.

[veloriajones]

The one scene that never fails to have me cry my eyes out... it just gets to me on a level I can't really explain, cuts deep through the mental health fog and just... connects. The first time I saw this scene I had to take a break from my PC so I could bawl my eyes out.

"If you would humor me a moment─when we awaken each morning, how can we prove that we're the same individual who retired the night before?

Through the remembrance of past events, we might say. We have our memories. Yet there are times when we forget, or recall incorrectly.

What of our bodies, then? It is the same one, we might say. Yet technically speaking, as living beings, our bodies are constantly changing. It will never be as it was at an earlier point in time.

Our souls are no more immutable. On our star, people are known to inherit the souls of others, yet they are decidedly different beings.

For my part, I've subjected my totality to much and more. I've made my body into an extension of a tower. Blended my soul and memories with those of another self.

And each time, I would ask myself: what is it that makes me, me?

"Were you able to determine an answer?

"No. But that doesn't mean I'm confused. It simply means I'm the same as everyone else.

So I posit this: who we were need not prescribe what we now hold in our hearts.

Whatever came before, what matters most is the present.

For me, that is being here with my friends. Full proud of how much we've grown together.

So I urge you to not give up. Heed your heart's desire, and hope that the future you long for shall be realized!"

"I...cannot. We cannot.

We cannot understand desire, nor comprehend hope. We do not know how to create such things."

"We're not unalike, you and I... I too have struggled to find the courage to express and embrace my wants.

If you like, I will tell you a tale. A tale of a world on the brink. Of a people who never gave up on the future.

Of a man who realized his grandest dreams, and then awakened to a grander reality."

[dramioneasks]

Rosemary and Thyme Apothecary - TheLiesWeTell - E, WIP - Rosemary symbolizes remembrance, friendship, and love. Thyme symbolizes strength, power, courage and sacrifice. All are traits Draco Malfoy has never believed himself to have. Disinherited and grappling in the aftermath of the Second Wizarding War, Draco Malfoy painstakingly transforms an old apothecary shop into the haven he envisioned and discovers that maybe there’s more to him than he once believed. Fueled by an unwavering determination to rebuild not only the shop but also his sense of self, he comes to realize that he will need both Rosemary and Thyme in order to pull it off. Especially when a figure from his past shows up rather announced, under suspicious circumstances, and doesn’t seem to want to leave. Having never been one for mysteries or adventures, he can’t seem to turn her away either. An unexpected friendship blossoms, offering a glimmer of hope and a chance for Draco to redefine his place in a world. "Rosemary and Thyme Apothecary" is a tale of resilience, redemption, and the transformative power of friendship. Join Draco Malfoy on this journey as he discovers that true strength lies not in the past, but in the possibilities of the future.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

All we have of freedom, all we use or know - This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.

- Rudyard Kipling, The Old Issue

I’m so far away from both Britain and France here in Dubai, that I forgot to pack my poppy and regimental pin to mark this solemn ocassion of remembrance. So here’s an old pic that has personal resonance to me to mark such a day in the past.

I had my calendar marked as I always do for such times but forgot to bring them on my posting here in Dubai, not thinking I would be extending my stay here. Surreal that Dubai celebrates every God damn festive celebration from around the world that isn’t its own and yet I don’t see anything to mark this monumental ocassion where literally men and women gave their lives so that we could live in a more peaceful world. It seems we only celebrate things that makes us feel good rather than give us pause to reflect on forgotten virtues like sacrifice, heroism, courage, and yes, even those most maligned of words, honour and duty.

These maligned words found their virtue in the example and sacrifices of all those who fought past two world wars. But now even the last of these old veterans of the second world war have all but passed away. All we have is nostagia. When we memorialise the Great War for example we honour its 10 million dead and 23 million mutilated. But, less obviously, we also mark the start of an ongoing, monumental collective effort of forgetting.

We should always remember those who gave all. At least we should try. For they are us. There are three deaths as someone once told me. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time.

One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. We are all the pieces of what we remember. We hold in ourselves the hopes and fears of those who love us. As long as there is love and memory, there is no true loss. Shakespeare said, ‘Praising what is lost makes the remembrance dear."

Lest we forget....