#Repair Windows Update
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techbloggingfool · 16 days ago
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PowerShell: Backup and Repair/ Reset Windows Update.
Troubleshooting Windows update can be a fruitless waste of time. The update service is complicated and often intertwined with third-party management tools. Thanks to supply chain attacks, updates get super scrutinized by security tools. That extra level can cause interference issues. In short, the Windows update process breaks a lot for a lot of reasons. From my point of view, the best way to…
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o0fyuu0o · 3 days ago
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I wanna draw but my computer won't work :D
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quilleth · 5 months ago
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*hissing like a goose* I stg Microsoft if you are trying to install windows 11 on my work computer I will end you. It works fine leave it alone!
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tired-and-unjellied · 9 months ago
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Windows 11, you absolute piece of trash...
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dullahandyke · 10 months ago
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Peering at my laptop on my desk to see what's going on bcos bubbles is on my bed cuddling into my arm
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thecodeveronica · 8 months ago
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Has anyone else had issues since the Windows 11 update a few days ago? I keep having issues when turning on my PC, that it'll either just blackscreen immediately or freeze up at the login screen, and I have to hard reset multiple times until it finally starts acting normal. Then it's fine the rest of the day, it's so weird
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diagnozabam · 9 months ago
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Actualizarea Windows 11 KB5043145 Provocă Probleme Majore: Reporniri Aleatorii și Erori BSOD/GSOD
Microsoft a lansat recent actualizarea KB5043145 pentru versiunile Windows 11 23H2 și 22H2, însă aceasta a cauzat multiple probleme utilizatorilor, inclusiv reporniri neașteptate ale PC-urilor, erori de tip BSOD (Blue Screen of Death) și GSOD (Green Screen of Death). În unele cazuri, PC-urile afectate intră automat în modul Windows Automatic Repair Tool și direcționează utilizatorii către…
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hatethysinner · 27 days ago
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀʀʏ ʙʟᴜᴇꜱ
ʀᴇᴍᴍɪᴄᴋ x ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ!ꜰᴇᴍ!ʙᴏᴏᴋꜱᴇʟʟᴇʀ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
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ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: The bell over your bookshop door rings at midnight, and a stranger steps through. Tired eyes, old voice, and a hunger he tries to hide. He says little, but lingers like he's waiting for permission to need you. You should send him away, but something in you wants to see what he'll do if you don't.
ᴡᴄ: 12.8k
ᴀ/ᴄ: firstly, thank you so much to everyone who enjoyed and interacted with let the wrong one in! i am so proud and so disappointed to be posting this because it's so shameless. if the fbi showed up to my door i'd let them take me to whatever white padded room they had waiting. i was up past midnight multiple times writing this out and it shows. just a completely unhinged self-indulgent mess. do not read without a rose toy (/j). as always, white girls i promise you can have your fun with this too! i don't do taglists personally, so just follow me if you want to be updated when i post c:
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: SLOWburn, remmick is truly a fucking loser (pathetic!remmick supremacy), remmick will not leave the reader alone, reader is a know-it-all manipulative ass thought daughter, she's lowkey evil actually, don't read unless you support womens rights and wrongs, mutual yearning and obsession, vampirism, dacryphillia, overstimulation, blink-and-you'll-miss-it exhibitionism, sub!remmick, dom!reader, cunnilingus, p in v, ride 'em cowgirl, spit kink, praise kink, matching each other's freak, offscreen but confirmed stalking, excessive divider usage, probable excessive usage of "ain't" because i got worried about my accent skills, amateur knowledge of 1930s literature and bookstores, religious undertones if you squint, i think y'all know what to expect i'm not writing out everything
fanart!
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You were one of the lucky ones.
That’s what folks said when they stepped through the little wood-framed door, brushing snow from their shoulders or sweat from their brows, depending on the season. They always paused in the entryway. Like the air was thicker inside. Warmer, gentler, laced with something that asked them to hush their voices and unshoulder their weariness. Most folks did. They’d glance around slow, wide-eyed and awestruck, like they’d just wandered into a place stitched together by warmth and paper. Because they had.
Your daddy built it like that.
He opened the shop before you were tall enough to reach the counter, when your shoes still lit up when you walked and your teeth were missing in the front. A modest space, more narrow than wide, with walls that sometimes whispered when the wind pressed in. It was tucked between a shoe repair, where the scent of leather and oil clung to the brick, and a bakery that changed hands too often to name. But the bookstore never changed. It stayed.
He fought for it with every drop of charm he had and a stubborn streak the size of a mule. The bank didn’t make it easy. Nor the city. Nor the neighbors. But he didn’t flinch. Just smiled, signed the lease, and started sanding old shelves he bought for cheap from a shut-down place across town.
It wasn’t grand, but it had room to breathe.
The shelves didn’t match. The floors creaked. The ceiling had water stains shaped like cloud spirits. But the space had rhythm. Light pooled in through the front windows in the early afternoon, catching the golden flecks in the pine wood counter he carved by hand. You watched him do it over the course of a summer. His shirt clinging to his back with sweat, sawdust settling in his hair like snow. That counter had curves in it, places smoothed by a thousand passing fingers, elbows leaned, coins slid, mugs thunked down in thought. It remembered everyone who ever stood there.
The aisles were just wide enough for two people to pass without brushing shoulders, if one of them turned slightly. In winter, the windows fogged from the warmth of breath and the hiss of the radiator under the front table. In summer, he cracked the front door and the back one just right so the breeze cut clean through, carrying with it the scent of magnolia and newsprint. When the light hit right, the dust in the air sparkled, like it was carrying secrets you could almost read if you squinted hard enough.
He dreamed of it since he was a boy, back when books came secondhand and beat-up, passed along like contraband. Borrowed if you were lucky. Bought if you were white. His eyes always got faraway when he talked about those days, like he was watching some other version of himself hiding from the world with a paperback gripped tight like a life vest.
“There’s magic,” he always said, tapping your chest lightly with one thick finger, “in knowin’ a story nobody else does.”
So he painted the sign himself and hung it crooked on purpose, because he said perfection made folks nervous. He sold trinkets and newspapers and penny candy at first, just to keep the lights on. He let local kids read in the back for hours so long as they didn’t dog-ear the pages. And when folks started to drift in off the street, curious, then charmed, he opened the door wider.
People noticed.
Not all approved.
But he smiled at the right times, kept his voice low when he had to, and stayed on his side of town like they told him to.
But inside those walls?
He was king.
You took it over after he passed.
Not because you wanted to. You hadn’t planned for that. You thought you’d leave, travel, study something big with a title hard to pronounce. But when he died, sudden, quiet, the way only the kindest men seem to go, it was like the shop exhaled. And no one was there to breathe it back in.
So you stayed.
Not because you had his gift for conversation. You didn’t. Your voice didn’t carry like his. You didn’t know how to make strangers feel like they’d known you all their lives. But you had his steadiness. His eyes. His love of ink.
And the shop had raised you.
You’d spent your childhood curled between the shelves with your knees pulled tight to your chest, the pages of books flaring open like wings in your lap. You used to fall asleep in the window nook under stacks of fairy tales, the glow of the streetlamp outside pooling on your shoulders. You learned to read by tracing the letters with your fingertip, mouthing the words like spells.
You grew up there. Quiet, clever, a little too serious for your age, and always full of questions. The kind of questions books were made for. You learned the world in chapters, one page at a time, growing taller alongside the stacks.
Even now, the shop holds you like a memory refusing to fade.
The floorboards creak the same way when you step heavy by the register. The bell above the door still dings off-key. There’s a worn spot in the paint where the heels of his boots used to rest, and you never painted over it. The walls know your heartbeat. The ceiling hums with it.
The place smells of paper, cedar, and something floral you still can’t place. Not perfume. Not fresh. More like dried petals tucked in a forgotten book. There are candles flickering low behind the counter, their flames soft and steady, casting halos of gold on the spines of the hardbacks lining the shelves.
Outside, the windows are tinted now. Reflective. You can see yourself in the glass, wrapped in lamplight like a ghost caught in the pane.
It’s not strange for you to be up this late.
You have a habit of rereading old favorites until the pages feel like skin. You like the quiet. The familiar shuffle of turning pages. The low creak of the chair under your legs. The steady tick of the clock in the corner, marking time nobody’s watching.
The radio went quiet an hour ago, the static fading to silence when the last gospel track drifted away. Now there’s only the sound of night outside. The rustle of trees, the distant hum of a train slicing through the dark, far beyond the city line.
But tonight, something feels off.
You don’t know why. Not yet.
But your candle’s flame flutters suddenly, like it’s caught a breath. Not a wind. A breath.
You look toward the door.
There’s no bell. No sound.
But the air feels... thick. Like it’s waiting.
You don’t move right away. You sit there with your thumb hovering over the page, caught between the lines of a sentence and the prickle on the back of your neck.
You don’t want to turn it.
Not yet.
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Then the door creaked.
A sound so small it barely pulled your eyes from the page. Your heart didn’t jump. Not right away. It didn’t need to.
The bell rang just after. Clear, bright, and true. Same one you fixed the summer it snapped off in a storm so thick the trees bowed like they were praying.
So that bell was yours. It knew what time it was. It didn’t ring wrong.
That’s what made the sound feel off now. Just a shade too sharp, too clean, like a voice cutting into a dream you didn’t know you were having.
The sign still said “Come In.” Your fault. You’d meant to flip it hours ago but got lost in the pages, lulled by the rhythm of ink and stillness. Still, no one ever actually came this late. Not really. Not unless they were meant to be here.
You closed the book. Not slammed. Just firm. A quiet full stop.
And there he stood.
Tall. Pale.
A white man.
Out of place in every way that mattered.
He filled the doorway like he didn’t know whether he wanted to be let in or turned away. Light from the streetlamps slanted behind him, casting his face in half-shadow, like the world couldn’t decide how much of him to reveal.
You didn’t move.
Your fingers curled around the spine of the book, thumb against the front cover, the weight of it grounding. The silence stretched between you.
He just stood there, breathing slow like he didn’t want to startle anything. His eyes swept the room, not lazily, but searching. Hungry. And when they landed on you, they stayed.
His voice came quiet. Almost careful. “Evenin’.”
You stared.
“We’re closed.”
Your tone was even. Flat. Not rude. Not kind, either.
Still, he didn’t leave.
Didn’t blink.
Didn’t move at all, not really. Just shifted the weight of his stare, like he was trying to remember a script. Like he’d played this scene in his head a dozen ways and still didn’t know which one this was. His smile was a flicker. Half-done. It twitched and died on his lips before it could mean anything. But under it, something desperate. Thin and frayed, like he was holding on to a thread he couldn’t name.
“Apologies,” he said with a shaky drawl, dipping his head toward the window, where the sign still swung faintly in the breeze. The porchlight caught the paint in the glass. “Saw the sign.”
You didn’t believe that for a second.
Nobody came here by accident. Not after midnight. Not across town lines like these. Everyone knew where they were supposed to be. Supposed to go.
He was tall, yes, but not in a way that meant anything. His frame was lean, his movements all hesitation and nerves. His coat didn’t fit right, like it had belonged to someone stronger once, someone he was still pretending to be.
You stood slowly.
The book stayed on the chair. Your skirt brushed the floor as you crossed barefoot to the counter, each step deliberate. No rush. No fear. Just weight.
You weren’t afraid of the man. You were afraid of what kind of story this was turning into.
He watched the whole way, his eyes flicking between your face and your hands, trying to read the space between your breaths. Like he expected you to call for someone. To yell. To throw something. To raise your voice.
You didn’t.
You let the silence answer.
“What can I do for you.”
No question mark. A line drawn in the sand.
He flinched, barely, but you saw it. Like a thread pulled too tight.
“I wasn’t tryin’ to cause any trouble,” he said, voice thinning out at the edges. “Just… seemed like a place a man might find a bit of quiet.”
You raised a brow, not moved.
“You always find quiet in closed shops?”
He scratched the back of his neck. A nervous tic, maybe. Or maybe it was just something to do with his hands, which kept twitching like they missed holding something heavier than a coat hem.
“Only the ones still lit up inside.”
He tried for a smile again. It trembled. Didn’t hold.
“Then I’d suggest you pass through quick,” you said. “I need to lock up.”
“Right,” he said, nodding too fast. “Of course. Sorry. I just-”
But he didn’t leave.
He stepped forward, just an inch, like something was pulling him. Then stopped himself and stalled in place, weight shifting foot to foot like the floor might open up if he stood still too long.
“I… don’t suppose you’ve got anything by Hughes?” he asked suddenly. Then, without pause, “Or Hurston?” His voice cracked a little on Hurston, like the name had caught on something inside his throat.
You blinked.
That was new.
You didn’t say anything right away. Just studied him.
A white man. Midnight. The wrong side of town. Asking for Langston Hughes and Zora Neale Hurston.
It didn’t make sense.
It didn’t fit.
Men like him didn’t read voices like theirs. Not unless they had something to prove. Or something to steal.
He met your stare but his hands betrayed him, fidgeting at his sides again, tugging at the seams of his coat like he could pull himself together if he just gripped hard enough.
“You from around here?”
He laughed. Short, sharp, like he didn’t mean it. “Not anymore.”
Then quieter, “Ain’t got much left to be from.”
That silence stretched again. Wider this time. You didn’t try to fill it. You let it grow heavy.
He looked down at the floor like it might offer him a script.
You should’ve told him again to leave. Should’ve flicked the light off and locked the door and gone back to your chair and the soft, safe pages waiting there.
But you didn’t.
You said, “Hughes is second shelf, left of the register. Zora’s in the back, top shelf”
You paused. Watched him.
“And they ain’t alphabetical. You’ll have to look.”
He blinked.
Lit up like you’d handed him something holy.
“Right. Thank you. I- thank you.”
He stepped into the shop like the floor might vanish beneath him. Light. Careful. Fingertips trailing along the spines of the books nearest him, like the wood might spark or whisper if he touched it wrong.
And you watched him the whole way.
You didn’t trust him. Not even a little.
But something about the way he stood there, asking for voices not his, trying not to tremble. Something about his need made you pause.
It intrigued you.
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You tried not to listen.
Tried to stay still behind the counter, eyes fixed on the book you’d set aside, though your finger hadn’t moved past the corner of the page. You heard the soft drag of his coat brushing the shelves, the sound of someone trying to move quietly without knowing how. The occasional squeak of a shoe sole. The low shuffle of indecision.
Then his voice floated back.
“Sorry to bother, miss. You said left of the register?”
You closed your eyes.
He’d been in the aisle all of sixty seconds.
“Second shelf,” you called, sharper than you meant it. “You’ll know it when you see it.”
A pause.
“It’s just, uh… the labels are all faded.”
You exhaled through your nose. Not quite a sigh. Not quite not one.
You pushed off the counter and stepped out from behind it, your skirt catching the air as you moved. He was standing a little too close to the shelf, squinting at the bindings like the titles might blink first. His coat hung open now, revealing a loose button-down tucked half-heartedly into worn slacks, belt twisted like he’d dressed in a hurry. His hair was still damp at the edges from the relentless humidity outside. It made you wonder why he was wearing something so warm in the first place.
He looked up when he heard you.
Not just looked. Jumped.
Shoulders startled up an inch, like you’d crept up behind him with a switchblade instead of bare feet and a mild expression. His eyes flicked to your hands again. You noticed that. Clocked it.
“Ain't mean to pull ya from your reading,” he said quickly. “Just didn’t wanna grab the wrong thing.”
You said nothing.
You crouched low instead, running your fingers along the lower shelf until they stopped on the slim spine of The Weary Blues. You tugged it free, checked the inside cover, and stood.
Then you crossed past him, just enough to brush by the nervous way he lingered too close to the wood. At the back shelf, your hand found the worn copy of Their Eyes Were Watching God with the creased corners and sun-faded cover. You held both out to him.
He hesitated.
Not out of disrespect. Out of something else. Like touching them would make it real.
When his hand reached for them, it touched yours first.
Only for a second. Less than. But it landed like heat.
You watched his fingers twitch at the contact. Watched him pull back slightly, then steady himself like a man who’d stepped into unexpected water. His skin was cold, lonely. Like someone who hadn’t had cause to brush against kindness in a while.
You gave him the books anyway.
He took them with both hands, careful not to touch you again. His eyes met yours briefly. Then dropped.
That should’ve been it.
But something in the way he flinched, not in fear, but in startled awareness, left a strange twist in your stomach. Not danger. Not quite.
You narrowed your eyes at him. Watched how he shifted. How he clutched the books like they were lifelines. How still he got under your gaze.
And maybe you should’ve gone back to the counter. Maybe you should’ve left it there.
But you didn’t.
You leaned just slightly closer, voice low. Baiting.
“You always get jumpy when someone tries to help you?”
He looked up again, tongue wetting his bottom lip like he was about to speak, then thought better of it. Instead, he nodded, too fast, like agreeing might save him from saying the wrong thing.
And that, that, made you want to keep going.
Just to see what else he’d do.
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You led him back to the front in silence.
He didn’t try to fill it this time. Just followed, books clutched against his chest like they might steady his breath. You could feel his gaze brush the curve of your shoulder, your hands, the soft glow of the lamps pooling on the floorboards.
You stepped behind the counter, but didn't fill the space.
You stayed close. Leaning forward in a way that was probably too obvious.
The register clicked open with a metallic sigh. Your fingers moved slow over the worn buttons, each press deliberate. He laid the books down gently, almost mechanically, their spines aligning like he'd meant to do it. Like he’d practiced.
The light caught his face now, full on.
He looked younger in the shadows. But here, beneath the gold of your lamp, he was something else entirely.
His face was long and wide, covered in stubble that somehow looked neat and unkempt at the same time. Hollowed cheeks. A narrow nose that sloped like it had been broken once and never quite healed right. His mouth was set in a line that kept trying not to tremble. But his eyes...
They were wrong.
Not in a way you could name, not in any way you’d heard told, but wrong just the same. Too dark, too deep. And old. Old. You didn’t know how you knew it, but it pulled at the back of your neck. Some instinct deeper than language whispering that those weren’t eyes meant for a man that looked barely thirty.
Then there were his teeth.
You saw them when he smiled, faint and soft, like he didn’t mean for it to happen. A little too sharp. Animalistic, almost. Pointed just enough to make you question how close you wanted to stand.
And still, you didn’t move away.
“That’ll be four even,” you said, and held out your hand.
He blinked. Fumbled in his pockets. Fingers pulling out a crumpled bill like he hadn’t checked how much he had. When he offered it, your hand met his again, and this time you didn’t let go too quick.
Your touch lingered.
Not an accident.
Your fingers brushed his palm, smooth and dry and colder than before. You watched his throat shift like he’d swallowed something wrong. The money crinkled between you, forgotten.
You dropped it in the drawer without looking down.
Counted back the change slow. One coin at a time. Let your fingertips ghost over his as you pressed each one into his hand, watched how he tried not to flinch, not to twitch, not to breathe too fast.
There was something in his mouth now. A hitch. A tension.
You tilted your head.
His accent. It hadn’t struck you before. Too quiet. But now, with him this close, you could hear the undercurrents. Southern, yes. That lazy hush to his vowels, that slant that curled around the ends of his words like smoke. But buried beneath it was something else.
Not from here.
A roll that didn’t come from any county near yours. A roundness to the vowels that didn’t quite match the cadence of Mississippi. It had weight to it. History. Like old hills and cold winters. European, maybe. English, Scottish, Irish? Or something older still.
But the twang was real, too. Earnest. Like he’d worn it long enough to convince even himself.
You watched him shift under your gaze, trying to shrink inside that too-big coat.
“What’s your name?” you asked.
Simple.
But your voice dropped half a note, low and steady like it was loaded.
His eyes flicked up again. Held yours.
“Remmick, miss.”
Just that. No last name. With an unusual politeness in tow.
You didn’t smile. Nor did you give your name. You wanted him to work for that.
“Right,” you said. “Remmick.”
He shifted the books under one arm, his free hand ghosting over the edge of the counter like he wanted to say more, ask more, be more, but didn’t dare.
“Well… good evenin' to ya,” he said softly. The words caught at the edges, like they didn’t quite belong in his mouth.
You didn’t answer at first. Just watched him take a step back, then another, boots creaking against the old wood floor.
Then, finally, you raised your hand.
Not a wave, exactly. Just a slow lift of your fingers in something halfway between farewell and warning.
He seemed to understand.
The bell over the door chimed once as he slipped through, swallowed by the dark.
You didn’t move.
Not until the sound of his footsteps vanished completely.
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The next night came heavy with quiet. Midnight again. And you were sitting in the same chair, same blanket folded over your knees, same book splayed in your lap. Different pages, but you hadn’t turned one in ten minutes.
The lamp cast its familiar pool of amber over the counter, the window, the shelves. Everything was still. Too still.
You hadn’t flipped the sign.
You told yourself it didn’t matter. That it was habit, that your mind had simply been elsewhere. The story had you hooked, maybe. Maybe you were chasing some lost line between chapters, maybe that’s why you kept glancing at the door without realizing it.
The “Come In” flickered faintly in the glass, reversed in the dark like a whisper only the street could read.
You licked your thumb, turned the page. Tried to focus on the words. You didn’t remember them, even though you read them yesterday. Or maybe it was last week. Or maybe it didn’t matter at all.
It wasn’t like you were waiting.
You just hadn’t gone to bed yet.
You shifted. Crossed your legs under the blanket. Then uncrossed them. Stared at the “Come In” again. Just a sign. Just a little slanted piece of painted wood that always tilted left because the hinge was loose and you never bothered to fix it.
The wind slipped through a crack in the front window. Barely there, just enough to nudge the edge of the lace curtain and carry in a scent from the dark. Not smoke, not rain, something earthbound. Loamy. Cold.
You turned another page. Didn’t read a word.
Your candle’s flame danced sharp again, almost gleeful. You rubbed your thumb over your palm without thinking, the way you did when something was close. Some old habit from childhood, back when your parents told you to trust your instincts, even when they made no sense.
The bell rang.
Not loud. Not rushed. Just a single chime, clear as a knock to the chest.
He stepped through like he’d been summoned.
No coat this time. His shirt was pressed, collar sharp. Sleeves rolled just past the wrists in that careful way that said he’d redone them three, maybe four times. His hair was a little less wild, tamed with pomade and willpower. His boots were clean. Like he’d stood outside brushing dust from them just to make a better second impression.
And yet, nothing about him looked natural. Not the tidiness. Not the polish. He wore it like a child wore Sunday shoes. Tight across the toes, heavy on the ankles, stiff enough to slow him down.
His eyes, still dark, still glinting, scanned the room like he already knew you’d be there. They landed on you. Lingered. Not just in greeting, not just in recognition, but in reverence. Like he was taking inventory of you. The slope of your nose, the fullness of your lips, the tight, coiled crown of your hair haloed in the light. Like he was memorizing every feature he'd never had the right to admire this openly before.
And when they did, he smiled. A small, practiced thing. One that almost reached his eyes.
Like he was proud of himself for coming back.
And like some shameful, stubborn part of you was glad he had.
“Evenin’.”
Same greeting, but not quite the same voice. Still quiet, still that drawl sugar-coated in something older, something foreign, but this time with the faintest edge of self-assurance. Like he’d practiced it on the way over. Maybe even out loud. Like he hoped it’d sound natural if he said it just right.
You didn’t answer.
Not with words.
You rose instead, slow and smooth, letting the silence stretch as you crossed the shop in bare feet. Your skirt brushed the floor again, soft as a whisper, trailing you like smoke.
He stood straighter when you neared. Or tried to. You watched the twitch in his shoulder when your fingers reached toward him, the way his breath caught behind his ribs. The little gold chain around his neck winked against his shirtfront, barely there, nearly hidden beneath the buttons.
You reached for it without asking.
“It’s crooked,” you murmured.
It wasn’t.
Your thumb grazed the thin line of metal, adjusting it ever so slightly, letting your knuckles drift down the hollow of his chest. Just enough to feel the warmth beneath the cloth. Just enough to make sure he noticed.
He noticed.
Froze like someone struck dumb. Not like he didn’t want the touch. No, not that. Definitely not that. But like he didn’t know what to do with it. His lips parted on a soundless breath, his eyes locked somewhere over your shoulder like he was staring down a spectre only he could see.
The pulse under your fingers thudded once. Hard. Then again, faster.
You watched it.
You leaned in, just slightly, letting your hand linger longer than it needed to. He didn’t flinch. Didn’t pull away. But you could feel the tension ripple through him. Tight. Brittle. Wired.
When you finally let go, he exhaled like he’d been holding air since last night.
“There,” you said softly. “Better.”
He didn’t answer right away. His throat moved as he swallowed, mouth opening like he might say something, then closing again when nothing came. His eyes met yours, flicked down to your mouth, then jerked back up with a flicker of something like guilt.
It was a touch.
That’s all it was.
But the way he looked at you now...
It had unmade him.
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You let the silence sit for a beat longer, watching how he stood there like he didn’t dare take a full breath without permission. Then you spoke, softly, like an idea you hadn’t quite finished shaping.
“I’ve got a thought,” you said, turning back toward the shelves. “Wait here.”
But you didn’t mean that.
Because you paused, half-turned, eyes sliding back to him, that little hook in your voice coiled just so, and added, “Actually… no. Come with me.”
He obeyed without hesitation.
No question, no protest. Just a nod, and then his steps fell in behind yours like they were always meant to. You didn’t look back to see if he was following. You already knew he was.
You smirked before you even realized you were doing it.
He’s learning.
The rows of shelves narrowed the deeper you went, books stacked tall and mismatched. Some still had penciled notes in the margins. Others bore names and stamps from a dozen different hands. You moved with practiced ease, fingers gliding along the spines, then stopped sharp in front of a little patch of well-loved paperbacks with sun-faded covers and creased corners.
You didn’t say a word. Just stepped aside and gestured.
His brow knit faintly. Then he reached out, tentative at first, letting his fingertips hover above the titles before settling on one with a cracked pink spine and a watercolor couple leaning too close beneath an umbrella.
You raised your brows but didn’t speak.
Interesting.
He held it up like he was asking permission.
You nodded. “Good. Take that. Go sit by the window.”
Again, no hesitation.
He moved, soft steps, book clutched in his hand like it might disappear if he wasn’t careful. He didn’t glance back once as he settled into the reading nook. A curved wooden bench carved into the front window’s alcove, piled with cushions in muted tones, threadbare but clean.
The light from the lamp behind the counter cast the glass in warm gold, bouncing off his hair and skin in a way that made him look more real than he had last night. Less ghost. More man.
You watched him a moment longer, then followed.
Your feet made no sound on the floorboards. You crossed the space and sank onto the bench beside him. Not too close, but not far. Not far at all. The cushions dipped with your weight, the fabric between you folding with tension that hadn’t been there seconds ago.
He sat stiffly, book unopened in his lap, hands folded atop it. Like he didn’t quite know what to do now that he was here. Like he was waiting for something. Or someone.
You.
Your gaze lingered on the side of his face.
The light revealed the fine things. His lashes, full and surprisingly long. The faint lines around his mouth that didn’t come from smiling, but from pressing his lips together too tight for too many years. His skin was fair in a way that didn’t come from the sun but from time, the kind of pallor that hinted at long shadows and colder places. Places you couldn’t name.
His hair had been combed, too. Not just finger-swept like last time, but deliberately styled, though it curled stubborn at the ends like it wanted to fight back. That little gold chain still gleamed at his throat, straighter this time. Not crooked, like you convinced yourself it was.
Still, he hadn’t changed enough to fool you.
Not with those eyes.
Ancient, heavy, and out of place in a face that didn’t look old enough to carry them. They flicked toward you briefly, then darted back to the book in his lap, as if afraid to hold your gaze too long.
“You gonna read it?” you asked, tone soft but edged with amusement.
He blinked like he’d forgotten that was the point.
“Right,” he said quickly. “Yes ma'am.”
You watched him flip it open with care, thumbs brushing the pages like they might bruise. The moment hung quiet, thick with unsaid things and the scent of paper and dusk. His breath was steady but shallow, as if he were still adjusting to the shape of this closeness.
You didn’t move.
You didn’t speak.
You just leaned back into the cushions, eyes on him, letting him pretend he was focused on the words.
When both of you knew damn well he wasn’t.
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It was the way he held the book that told you first. Not the usual adulation you got from the diehards who lived and breathed these novels. No, this was different. His hands didn’t cradle it like treasure. They held it like a bomb. Like one wrong shift in pressure might set the whole thing off and scatter the pieces between you.
His thumbs rested too gently on the pages, barely pressing enough to keep them open. Like he was worried his fingerprints might offend the paper. As if the book itself might recognize him as an intruder. He wasn’t turning pages so much as he was coaxing them along, seemingly afraid they’d snap if he asked too much.
He read strangely.
Slow.
Stilted.
Each word passed through his lips like it needed permission. Like it carried weight. His lips parted with the occasional word, mouthed in silence, and then closed again just as quickly, like he hadn’t meant to let them slip. There was something priestly about it. Ritualistic. A prayer offered in secret.
His eyes, those impossibly ancient eyes, scanned line after line not with hunger but with hesitation. A wary sort of awe. Like he hadn’t held a romance novel in centuries. As if the softness written into the pages was a dialect he’d nearly forgotten how to understand.
And every time you moved, even just a flicker of a shift, a breath caught a second longer than usual, he looked up.
Not startled. Not afraid.
Attentive.
You scratched your cheek, his head lifted.
You smoothed your skirt, his eyes snapped upward.
You uncrossed your legs, then crossed them again, he swallowed, too loudly.
At first, you thought he was just skittish. Just someone not used to sitting this close. But then the rhythm set in.
He matched you.
Without realizing it.
Without even trying.
You leaned back in your seat, slowly. Felt the cushion press against your spine.
A second later, he leaned back. One beat behind you, stiff at first, then settling.
You tilted your head, absently, the way you always did when thinking.
He mirrored it. Not perfectly, but close enough to notice.
You shifted your breathing, let it slow. Long inhale through your nose. Shorter exhale.
So did he.
So precisely that it didn’t feel like coincidence.
It felt like mimicry.
Like you were the song, and he was trying to follow along without missing a note.
You frowned slightly, gaze narrowing. Maybe you were imagining it. Maybe you were reading too much into the silence, into the soft rhythm shared between bodies in the same room.
So you changed it.
Inhaled twice quick, then held the third.
Exhaled through pursed lips like you were cooling tea.
He matched it. Exactly. No hesitation. No thought.
Your pulse gave a slow thump. Not fear. Not quite delight.
You did it again, even stranger this time. Shallow breaths, uneven tempo, a stutter at the end.
He copied it like he’d been waiting for instruction.
Not a second too soon, not a second too late.
Not even pretending he wasn’t. As if he couldn't fake it if he tried.
It was eerie.
Unnerving.
You’d had admirers before. You’d had men try to get close. Men with charm and swagger, who leaned too close too fast, who spoke in low voices like they were offering you a secret. Men who wanted something.
But Remmick didn’t want.
He ached.
He ached to stay.
To keep.
To not mess it up.
It wasn’t that he feared you.
It was that he feared what being with you might require of him.
He feared being found unworthy.
And something in you, something cold and clever and mean, maybe, was curious enough to let it keep going.
You watched his knuckles flex where they held the spine. Watched his breath stutter when you shifted forward ever so slightly. Watched his gaze flick to your lips before darting away, embarrassed.
There was devotion in the way he sat.
There was hunger too, yes, but buried under layers of control so tight they might as well have been prison bars.
He wasn’t scared of you.
He was scared of doing anything that might make you not want him here anymore.
He was scared of disappointing you. Of offending you. Of being sent away.
Like he’d never had the chance to be with a woman like this. Not just someone beautiful, Not just someone sharp, but someone who saw him and hadn’t yet told him to go.
Someone who let him sit.
Let him read.
Let him exist.
You leaned back, let your fingers curl loosely around the edges of the cushions. Not looking at him this time. Just listening.
His breathing matched yours again.
You heard it.
Felt it.
Let it echo in your ribcage like a second heartbeat.
He hadn’t read more than five pages. Probably hadn’t retained a single one. But he was trying. Oh, he was trying.
Trying not to ruin the moment.
Trying not to ruin you.
Trying not to ruin himself.
And you watched it all. Watched him struggle to be small, to be quiet, to be acceptable, and something in your chest twisted. Not out of pity. Not even out of care.
Just fascination.
You wanted to see how far this would go.
How far he’d go.
And more than anything, you wanted to see if he could keep it up.
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He hadn’t turned a page in three minutes.
You timed it without meaning to. Just sat there, letting your own gaze blur against the shape of his fingers still resting on the edge of the paper, and noted how still they’d gone. How he stared not at the next sentence, but straight through it. Breathing shallow. Body gone tense in the shoulders, like he was bracing.
Then he blinked. Once. Twice.
“Ya always light the window candles,” he said softly, not looking up.
The words were nothing at first. Just air. Noise.
But your stomach still curled.
You didn’t respond right away. Didn’t move. Just let the silence soak it in.
“Every night,” he added, quieter now. “Right ‘round eleven. Even if ya ain’t got customers.”
Still, you said nothing.
He turned another page, finally, but you watched his eyes. They didn’t scan. They didn’t read.
“You notice that just now?” you asked calmly.
He hesitated.
You leaned forward, hands steepled under your chin. “Or’ve you been noticin’ for a while?”
His lips parted. Closed. He looked over at you now. The air between you suddenly sharper.
“I-” he started, then tried to smile. “It’s just… somethin’ I seen. That’s all.”
You cocked your head. “From where?”
He faltered.
“That little inn down the road don’t got a view of this side.”
He tried to laugh, but it came out cracked. “I walk at night. Helps me think.”
“Does it?”
He nodded too fast. “Y-yeah. Sometimes I pass by. That’s all.”
You didn’t blink. Didn’t smile.
“Funny. You said yesterday you just stumbled in here.”
His jaw twitched.
A beat passed. You let it stretch like taffy, long and slow, until it thinned to almost nothing.
“I... did,” he said eventually, voice paper-thin. “Didn’t plan to come in that night. But I-I'd seen the place before. So I guess it felt familiar.”
“Familiar.”
“Mhm.”
“You been watchin’ me?”
His whole frame stiffened. A flicker of shame, or panic, or both, ghosted across his face. But it wasn’t the embarrassment of being caught in a lie. It was older than that. Worn. Like being cornered in a truth he thought he could keep buried.
His mouth opened, but no words came out.
You shifted in your seat, leaned in just slightly.
He didn’t move away.
“You been starin’ at my windows from across the street, Remmick?” you asked softly. “That it?”
He flinched. Not from your tone, which stayed silky smooth, but from the shape of your words. The accuracy of them.
“I ain’t mean no harm,” he whispered. “It weren’t… like that.”
You gave him a long, thoughtful look. “Then tell me how it was.”
His eyes dropped to his hands. You could see the effort it took not to wring them.
“I just… I saw ya. Few nights in a row. Sometimes through the window, sometimes outside closin’ up. You’d have your book in one hand, your keys in the other. Didn’t even know your name. Just-”
His throat moved as he swallowed.
“Ya looked steady,” he said. “A place that don’t change. Like you’d always be here if I needed to come back.”
That should’ve sounded sweet.
But it didn’t.
It sounded like a confession. A possession waiting to take root.
And for reasons you weren’t yet ready to name, you didn’t shut it down.
Didn’t throw him out.
Didn’t call it wrong.
Instead, you asked, poised and deliberate...
“How long you been watchin’, Remmick?”
He looked like you’d just asked him to open his ribs and let you see inside.
But you didn’t repeat the question.
You didn’t need to.
The pause spoke louder than anything he could’ve said.
Then, finally, his lips parted. “Few months.”
Your brow twitched, just slightly. Enough for him to see it.
“I-I ain't mean to,” he said quickly, eyes wide, hands lifted like he was surrendering. “I just- I saw you one night and then… it was easy to keep passin’ by.”
You leaned back slow, fingers dragging along the wood between you.
“You been lurkin’ outside my shop for months?”
His face crumpled like the word hurt. Lurkin’.
“I wasn’t-” He stopped. Started again. “I wasn’t tryna frighten you. Weren’t like that. I ain't know how to come in. Ain't think I should. Thought maybe if I stayed far enough back, you wouldn’t see me.”
“I didn’t.”
He winced.
You could’ve pushed. Could’ve watched him stammer his way deeper into the hole he’d already dug with his own too-honest mouth.
But you didn’t. Not yet.
You tilted your head, voice softer now. “So why now?”
His mouth opened. No sound came. Then...
“I got tired of bein’ scared.”
You stilled.
He didn’t look up. Just stared at the woodgrain of the table, like it might open up and swallow him if he wished hard enough.
“I been scared so long, I don’t know how not to be. But I kept watchin’, and you kept bein’ here. Kept leavin’ that light on. And I thought… maybe that meant somethin’.”
He finally looked at you.
And the way he looked at you, like you were the last fire in a dead city, made your breath catch.
He wasn’t lying.
And that was the strangest part.
You were used to men who talked. Who wrapped their hunger in charm, or cleverness, or teeth. But Remmick… he was bare. He didn’t even try to be anything else.
“You think I leave that light on for you?”
“No.” He shook his head, fast. “I- no. I ain't mean that. Just that… I hoped it meant I was allowed to come in.”
That did something to your chest you didn’t expect.
And suddenly, you didn’t want him to look at the table.
You wanted him to keep looking at you.
Only at you.
You leaned forward again, chin resting in your palm. “Well. You’re in now.”
He blinked. Almost like he didn’t believe it.
“Don’t mess it up,” you added, slow and sweet.
And Lord help you, he nodded like it was a commandment.
You watched his eyes. Watched how they clung to you like a lifeline, like the mere sight of your face was the only thing anchoring him to the moment. You could see it, plain as anything. The panic winding tighter beneath his skin, the quiet horror that he’d said too much. And maybe he had. Maybe he hadn’t said enough.
And then you smiled.
Not warm. Not cruel. Just knowing.
“Well,” you said, slow as molasses, “that still makes you a liar, don’t it?”
His shoulders tensed.
“I ain’t-”
You raised a hand.
He stopped.
“Watchin’ me for months and pretendin' you just stumbled in? That’s dishonesty, Remmick.”
His mouth opened again, then shut.
He looked like he wanted to explain. Wanted to pour out the right words, dig his way out of the pit he’d slipped into. But the silence between you left no room for excuses. And you didn’t fill it for him. You just stood, smooth and sure, brushing imaginary dust from your skirt like you were done with the whole performance.
The way his breath hitched…
You almost felt bad.
Almost.
His voice cracked, desperate before he could tuck it down. “I ain't mean no harm. I swear it.”
You walked to the door.
Unlatched it.
The bell above gave a soft jingle as you pushed it wide, letting the warm night air curl inside like smoke. The light spilled out into the dark, carving a golden archway he didn’t dare cross.
“You can go now.”
He flinched like you’d slapped him.
“I- what?” He stood too fast, nearly knocked himself over. “I ain't mean nothin’ bad. I just- don’t send me off like that. Please.”
You turned, hand still on the doorknob, gaze calm.
His breath was coming faster now, eyes darting like he was trying to find the version of you that wouldn’t be doing this. “I’ll sit quiet, won’t say a word. You won’t even know I’m here. Just don’t make me go.”
He took a step forward.
You didn’t move.
“Please,” he said again, voice ragged now. “Please don’t make me leave you.”
Leave you.
Not the shop. You.
And wasn’t that just the most pathetic thing you’d ever heard.
You tilted your head, quiet.
“I said you could go,” you repeated, soft this time.
That made him stumble.
But not back.
Forward.
Toward you.
But not close enough to touch.
Just close enough to be seen.
And you let him sit in it. That want. That begging.
The humiliation of it.
You could see how tightly his hands were balled at his sides. How his throat bobbed with every failed swallow. How badly he wanted to collapse to his knees and sob at your feet.
“You can come back tomorrow,” you said lightly. “If you behave.”
He swallowed so hard you heard it. Loud in the hush of the room.
Then he nodded.
Not like a man, but like a child handed a punishment he knew he deserved.
He didn’t say anything at first.
Didn’t move.
You gave him time.
Let him make the choice.
And when he did, it was with slow, aching reluctance. Every step backward like a string snapping off of him one by one.
“Evenin’, Remmick,” you said, voice sugar-sweet now, hand still resting on the open door.
He stood there a moment longer. Still. Wrung out.
Then, quietly: “G’night, ma’am.”
You didn’t answer.
You just watched him go.
Watched the dark swallow him.
And made no move to close the door until long after his shadow disappeared.
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You knew he’d come back.
There was no need to check the sign. No reason to glance toward the door, or listen for the bell. You didn’t need to do anything at all. The air had already shifted, thickened with the weight of what was inevitable.
You were curled into your chair like you’d been there all night, though you hadn’t been able to concentrate for more than five minutes at a time. You told yourself it was the book. It was always the book. But your eyes traced the same paragraph for the third time, and your fingers tightened just slightly at the edges of the page.
Still, you didn’t look up.
You wouldn’t.
The clock ticked. Somewhere, a train whistled. The candlelight wavered once, then stilled.
And then you heard it.
The bell.
Soft. Perfect. Like a cue whispered by the world itself. The clock chimed midnight.
You didn’t lift your gaze, but you heard him. Felt him. The uneven shuffle of his steps. The small hitch in his breath.
He was back.
You turned the page.
The scent hit you first. Not bad. Just weary. Tired. Like sleep had refused him all night, and he’d wandered instead. Rain-damp clothes. Paper. Something earthy, mineral-like, maybe even metallic. Like he hadn’t meant to be anywhere but had found himself out in the wild with only his thoughts for warmth.
He didn’t speak at first. Didn’t dare.
The sound of the door shut behind him.
“I been good,” he blurted out.
Your lips twitched before you could stop them.
Still, your eyes didn’t leave the book.
“Real good,” he continued, voice cracking slightly with the rush of words. “Ain’t even come near the shop. Walked past it, but that don’t count. That’s just the sidewalk, right? Just pavement. I didn’t linger. Ain’t even look in the window. Well, I peeked, but only ‘cause I missed the smell of it. Missed you.”
That earned a slow blink from you.
He stepped further inside. His boots dragged slightly on the floor like they were too heavy to lift. Like his shame lived in his heels.
“I sat still all morning,” he said. “Didn’t wander, didn’t do nothin’. I thought ‘bout what you said. Over and over. Thought about why it was wrong. What I did. Even wrote it out. I did. Wrote it out.”
You closed the book softly.
Still, you didn’t rise.
Remmick stood in front of you now.
And good Lord, he looked a mess.
His shirt was wrinkled at the collar, sleeves rolled and uneven. His hair had a wild, raked-through look like he’d been dragging his fingers through it for hours. The shadow beneath his eyes was sharp, and the line of his jaw was clenched in barely-held desperation. Not even his chain looked presentable. He didn’t smell unclean, but there was a wildness to him now. Like if you stood too close, you’d hear the hum of his blood vibrating beneath his skin, frantic and restless.
“I didn’t lie, not really,” he said. “Just… held it. In. ‘Cause I didn’t wanna scare you off. Ain’t had someone like you before. Not in a long time. Maybe not ever.”
His accent pulled at the words, thinner now, stretched tight with pleading. That strange, syrupy Southern lilt gave way to something raw beneath. Sharper, guttural, not quite human in the way it frayed at the ends. It slipped, like his mask was crumbling, revealing a voice that hadn’t begged in centuries. Not just a borrowed twang anymore, but a whisper of whatever place had taught him that hunger in the first place.
You finally looked up.
He froze.
Then, slowly, like the world trembled beneath him, he knelt.
He didn’t say another word. Just lowered himself to the floor like it was natural. Like the hardwood was the only place he deserved to be.
Your legs were crossed, the hem of your skirt brushing his boots. He didn’t touch you, not yet. Just sat with his hands in his lap, chest rising and falling in quick, shallow breaths.
You studied him.
He tried not to move under your gaze. Failed.
You tilted your head slightly.
He flinched.
“I ain’t sleep,” he admitted. “Couldn’t. Just kept seein’ your face. Thinkin’ of how soft your hands were. How still your voice is. You’re not like other folk. You look right through me, and it-”
He broke off, jaw flexing.
“I want to do right,” he said, softer. “Tell me how. Please. I’ll listen. I’m yours.”
You leaned forward.
He didn’t dare meet your eyes, not at first. Not until your fingers brushed the side of his face.
His head snapped up slightly.
You cradled his cheek in your palm, watching as he leaned into the touch. Like the heat of your skin might be the first kindness he’d felt in years.
He was trembling.
Not from fear.
From want.
His eyes closed, lashes fluttering like moth wings. You stroked your thumb along his cheekbone. Cooler than expected, but not cold. Never cold. Not with you.
His hands rose without thinking, resting on your legs. Then his shoulders followed, and soon, most of his weight was against you, folding like a supplicant at an altar.
You didn’t stop him.
Didn’t move.
Let him rest there.
Let him need.
Because that’s what this was. Not desire, not lust.
Need.
He was breathing in sync with you again, like your rhythm had become his only truth.
You didn’t speak.
You didn’t need to.
His mouth moved against your knee.
Not in a kiss.
Not yet.
Just a whisper.
A plea.
You cupped the other side of his face, anchoring him.
He let out a sound. Quiet, fractured, grateful.
And stayed right there.
The weight of him on your legs wasn’t light. But it wasn’t heavy, either. It felt like gravity doing what it was always meant to. Like he had been built to collapse right here, in the hollows of your thighs, the shape of him fitted to the shape of your waiting.
You ran your thumb along the corner of his mouth, picking up a string of saliva along the way. Drool, thick and abundant. His lips parted. A breath spilled out.
He didn’t dare look up.
So you said it.
“Kiss me.”
Not a whisper.
Not a barked command.
It landed like a fact. Like dusk falling, like snow melting into earth. A truth that didn’t ask to be believed. It just was.
He didn’t move at first. Didn’t blink. Didn’t even breathe.
He lifted his head like a man surfacing from deep water. His eyes, those beautiful, imperiled, bloodshot eyes, searched your face for any sign that you might take it back. That it might be a test.
It wasn’t.
You didn’t flinch.
And that was all it took.
He surged forward, and his mouth met yours with a force that stole the breath from your lungs.
It wasn’t careful. It wasn’t sweet. It wasn’t the kind of kiss you read about in the first chapter of a romance novel. It was the kind that belonged in the final act. The kind that felt like something was ending just as something else began.
His hands fumbled for your waist, your back, your shoulders. Any part of you he could grab to prove you were real. He held you like he was scared you’d vanish between blinks. Like you were smoke and he’d never had lungs strong enough to keep you in.
He moaned into your mouth. Low and wounded and starved. Not loud. Not filthy.
Desperate.
And grateful.
Like this was more than he thought he’d ever be allowed to have.
You clutched the fabric of his shirt, fingers curling tight in the rumpled linen, and he gasped against your lips like the pressure burned. He kissed like someone who hadn’t touched another soul in a hundred years. Thousands, maybe. Not properly. Not intimately.
Like every part of this might be the last.
He pulled you closer, though there was nowhere left to pull. His teeth caught against your bottom lip, breaking skin. Not intentional. Just too much, too fast, too hungry.
He pulled back immediately, breath hitching in horror.
“I’m-” he started, but your hand curled in his collar and you kissed him again, harder this time, and it unraveled something in him so completely that he made a noise against your mouth, something guttural and ruined.
Your hand tangled in his hair.
His arms caged you in, trembling with restraint, with fervor, with some old broken thing inside him that was only now waking up.
You pulled back just enough to breathe. His mouth chased yours, like instinct, like starvation.
He was panting.
You were panting.
And his forehead dropped to yours.
“I didn’t mean to-” he started again, but you shook your head. Barely a gesture.
He was still gripping your waist like the floor was about to give out.
He pressed his lips to your cheek. Then your jaw. Then your mouth again. Softer now, but still with the same unbearable urgency.
“I dreamt of this,” he whispered, voice all but crumbling. “Every night. Since I saw ya.”
You believed him.
How could you not?
He kissed like this moment was the dream. And he was scared of waking.
His breath shuddered against your cheek as he pulled back, just enough to look at you. His eyes were wide, dark, feral. Stripped down to the fundamentals of human existence.
“Please,” he begged. “I need to- can I-”
His hands were already moving, slow and reverent, like he was scared you'd vanish beneath his touch. They skimmed the sides of your waist, your ribs, the curve of your spine. Like he was learning you through touch alone.
He swallowed hard, throat working. “I wanna see ya. All of ya. Been dreamin’ ‘bout it. Wakin’ up in a sweat, reaching for something that ain’t there.”
His fingers found the hem of your shirt, toying with it. Not lifting. Not yet.
“Please,” he said again, softer. “Lemme see ya. Lemme-”
He cut off with a sharp inhale, like the words hurt coming out. Like they'd been buried in some deep, untouchable place inside him.
“I won't touch,” he sounded so earnest. So wrecked. “Not ‘less you want me to. But I swear, if you lemme, I'll worship every inch. I'll-”
He broke off again, jaw flexing. His eyes were pleading, desperate, broken.
“I'll do anything,” he breathed. “Just... please. Lemme look at ya.”
Your heart was beating too hard, too fast. Like it was trying to reach for him through your ribs.
“Yes,” you whispered. “You can look.”
And that was all it took. The floodgates opened. He surged forward, hands suddenly urgent, suddenly everywhere. He was mapping your skin like it was the only geography he'd ever need. Like you were the only country left to explore.
He peeled off your shirt, slow and cautious, like he expected you to change your mind. Like he expected you to pull the rug from under his feet, again.
But he didn't linger. Didn't stop. Shaking but determined, tugging at fabric, pulling at buttons, dragging clothing aside until there was nothing left between his gaze and your skin.
And then he just froze. Stared. Took you in like a dying man taking his last breath.
“God,” he whispered, voice sapped. “You're...”
He didn't finish the thought. Couldn't. Just looked at you like you were the answer to a question he'd been asking all his life. The beginning and end of every prayer he'd ever whispered.
And you smiled, being looked at like that. Like a God. A deity that commanded his unwavering, exclusive devotion. And like any God, you demanded more.
“Undress for me,” you said softly.
It wasn't a question.
His breath shuddered out unevenly, and he nodded. Not a hesitation in sight.
He stood slowly, like his body was weighed down by the gravity of what was happening. Like he could feel the significance of this moment in every bone.
His hands went to the buttons of his shirt first, trembling just slightly. He fumbled once, twice, then let out a soft, frustrated noise and just tore the fabric open. Buttons scattered.
You didn't flinch.
He shrugged the ruined shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. His undershirt followed, tugged over his head in one fluid motion.
And then he just stood there, chest bare, skin seeming to tighten under your gaze. Like your eyes were a physical touch.
His boots were next, kicked off with barely a thought. Then he went to his belt.
He paused for just a second, looking to you for confirmation.
You nodded.
He exhaled shakily and fumbled with the buckle. It came undone easily, the leather sliding out of the loops with a soft hiss.
He toed off his socks, then shoved his pants and underwear down in one motion, kicking them aside.
And then he was bare. Completely. Not just in body. In everything.
He stood before you, chest heaving.
His cock was hard, achingly so. Thick veins wound up the shaft, pulsing with each shudder of his heart. The head was swollen and pink. Glistening. A bead of precum pooled at the tip before spilling over, tracing a slow path down his length. He twitched, but made no move to touch himself. As if he didn't consider it a possibility until you allowed him to.
And you wouldn't. You had him exactly how you wanted him.
Slowly, he lowered himself back to his knees, hands resting lightly on your thighs, his touch gentle yet possessive. He looked up at you, his eyes laced with desire and something more profound. Veneration is the word that came to your mind.
“Please,” he pressed, as if trying to convince himself that he deserved it more than convincing you to relent. “Lemme taste ya. Just a taste. I swear I'll make it good for ya.”
His lips brushed against your thigh. A soft, tentative kiss that sent shivers down your spine. He lingered there, his breath hot against your skin. He squeezed your thighs gently, urging them to part.
You could feel his desperation, his need for your permission. He was squirming, his body aching for more, but he held back, waiting for your consent.
“Please,” he begged again, sounding tortured. “Need to taste ya. Need to feel ya on my tongue. Need to-”
You cut him off with a nod, a small smile playing on your lips. “Yes. You can taste me.”
The words were barely out of your mouth before he was moving, hands urgent and eager as he pushed your thighs apart, his body leaning in, his mouth already seeking your core.
He started at your knees, kissing his way up your inner thighs, his lips soft but his touch urgent. He was a man possessed. Gripping your thighs. Worshipping your skin. You could feel his hunger, his need, his desperation to please you.
When he reached the apex of your thighs, he paused for a moment, his breath hot against your most intimate place. Then, with a slow, deliberate lick, he tasted you. His tongue slid through your folds, a long, slow lick that made you gasp, your back arching off the surface beneath you.
And then he dove in, his hunger relentless. His tongue explored every inch of you, hands gripping your hips, holding you in place as he feasted. He sucked and licked and nibbled, his movements desperate and urgent, like a man starved and finally given a meal.
His groans of pleasure vibrated against your sensitive flesh, sending waves of sensation through your body. You could feel his enjoyment, his pleasure in pleasing you, and it only served to heighten your own.
He looked up at you, his eyes dark and feral, mouth glistening with your wetness. “Ya taste like heaven,” he growled against your skin. “Even better than my fuckin' dreams.”
And with that, he redoubled his efforts, his tongue delving deeper, his sucks more insistent, his fingers digging into your flesh, holding you to him as he devoured you.
Remmick didn't slow, didn't pause, didn't come up for air. His tongue was a relentless force, moving from your folds to your clit and back again at a breakneck pace. Each flick, each suck, each lick was a testament to his insatiable hunger for you.
You could feel the tension building in your body, a coiled spring ready to snap. Your hips bucked against his mouth, meeting his movements with your own desperate rhythm. Your hands found his hair, gripping tightly, holding him to you as if he might try to escape the torrent of pleasure he was creating.
His groans vibrated against your sensitive flesh, sending shockwaves of sensation through your body. He was as lost in this as you were, his actions fueled by a primal need to satisfy, to please, to devour.
“Remmick,” you gasped, pleading. “Don't stop. Please, don't stop.”
As if to answer, his tongue moved faster, his sucks more insistent. He pulled your hips tighter against his mouth, gripping your waist, holding you to him as he feasted.
You could feel yourself falling apart, your body tightening, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps. The world around you narrowed to the point of his tongue, the suck of his mouth, the grip of fingers
And then, with a cry that tore from your throat, you shattered. Your orgasm crashed over you, a wave of pleasure so intense it was almost painful. Your body convulsed, your hips bucking wildly against his mouth as he rode out the storm with you, his tongue never ceasing its relentless assault.
But Remmick didn't stop. Even as your body began to relax, he continued, his pace slowing but his hunger undiminished. You were overwhelmed, your nerves on fire, every touch sending jolts of pleasure coursing through your body. The sensation was almost too much to bear, your skin hypersensitive, your mind a blur of ecstasy. He looked up at you, his eyes wild, mouth soaked, a sinful smile giving you another look at his predatory canines.
“Again,” he was near unintelligible, now. “I wanna feel ya come again.”
“No,” you whispered, hoarse from your cries of pleasure. “Remmick, no more.”
He froze, his body tensing, his eyes widening in alarm. The fog of lust cleared from his eyes. Replaced by a look of concern and uncertainty. “Did I hurt ya? Did I do somethin’ wrong?” That tone of genuine, unabashed fear returned. As if he was standing in front of that open door again, begging you not to send him away.
You smiled gingerly, your hand still cupping his cheek. “You were perfect, Remmick,” you assured him, gentle yet firm. “Now, I want you to move to the reading nook. I want to see you there.”
He nodded immediately, a mix of relief and eagerness in his eyes. He stood up hastily, his body still glowing with a sheen of sweat and desire. But before you could even think about moving, he was there, offering his hand to help you up. You took it, appreciating the strength and support he provided as you stood on legs that felt like liquid.
He didn't just lead you to the nook. He made sure you were steady on your feet the entire way. His arm wrapped around your waist, holding you close as he guided you to the cozy corner by the window. The nook where he read to you. Mimicked you. Begged you.
His body was still tense with anticipation, his breath slowly returning to normal. You could see the mix of emotions in his gaze. Desire, fear, hope. Something deeper, too.
“Remmick,” you said softly, your voice a soothing balm to his frayed nerves. “I'm not goin' anywhere. Not tonight.”
He let out a shaky breath, a deeply insecure smile playing on his lips. “I wanna make sure you're happy. That I'm doin' this right.”
You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “You are. Now, just relax and enjoy this. Enjoy us.”
He nodded, a small, content smile playing on his lips as he leaned back, though not fully. You followed, straddling his hips as you positioned yourself above him.
“Lay down,” you commanded softly, and he complied without hesitation, his body molding to the contours of the nook as he stretched out beneath you. Those prismarine eyes bore into you, filled with nothing but adoration.
You could feel the length of him, hard and ready, pressing against your entrance. You took a moment to admire the sight of him, his chest heaving with each ragged breath, his muscles taut and defined.
“Hold my hips,” you instructed, and his large hands immediately gripped your waist, his fingers digging into your flesh, holding you with a possessive, desperate strength.
You began to lower yourself onto him, inch by slow, agonizing inch. You could feel every vein, every ridge, as he filled you completely. His eyes rolled back, a guttural, incoherent moan escaping his lips, a sound so primal and raw it sent shivers down your spine.
You bottomed out, your body flush against his, your breasts pressing into his chest. He let out a shaky breath, body trembling beneath you. “Please, move, please,” he begged, hoarse with need. “I need to feel you move.”
You smiled, a slow, sensual curve of your lips, and began to ride him. You started slow, a gentle rocking of your hips, feeling him slide in and out of you, the friction building with each movement. But it wasn't enough. Not for either of you.
You picked up the pace, your hips slamming down onto his, taking him deeper, harder, faster. Each impact sent a jolt of pleasure through your body, your nerves alight with sensation. You could feel his hands on your hips, guiding you, urging you on. His fingers digging into your flesh, leaving marks that would fade but never be forgotten.
He chanted in an old language you weren't familiar with, likely the mother tongue of the faraway place you guessed he came from. His head thrashed from side to side, eyes squeezed shut,
You leaned down, your lips capturing his in a fierce, hungry kiss, your tongues dueling as your bodies moved in sync. You could taste his desperation, his need, his sheer, unadulterated ecstasy. You pulled back, looking down at him, his face a portrait of pure bliss and agony.
“Open your mouth,” you commanded, and he complied without question, his lips parting, tongue resting heavily in his mouth. You spit, a slow, deliberate stream of saliva that dribbled down his tongue, pooling at the back of his throat. He swallowed reflexively, his Adam's apple bobbing, his eyes never leaving yours.
You could feel his body coiling tight, his muscles tensing, his breath hitching. You changed the angle, your body leaning back slightly, giving him a new depth to explore. He let out a low, guttural groan, his body quaking beneath you as he found his release, his hot seed spilling into you, filling you completely.
But you didn't stop. You kept moving, your hips slamming down onto his, riding out his orgasm, drawing it out, milking every last drop of pleasure from his body. His cries turned to whimpers, body shaking and trembling beneath you, hands gripping your hips with a desperate, almost painful strength.
And then, the tears came. Silent, shuddering sobs that wracked his body, tears streaming down his temples, disappearing into his hair. You leaned down, your lips pressing soft, gentle kisses to his cheeks, tasting the salt of his tears.
“Shh, it's okay,” you cooed, almost taunting. “Let it out, baby. I've got you.”
He looked up at you, his eyes filled with unshed tears, body still shaking with sobs. “You're so f-fuckin' beautiful,” he managed to choke out, completely spent. “So fuckin' p-perfect. I can't… I can't even…”
You smiled, merely shushing his whines. You had never seen anything so beautiful, so raw, so real.
You could feel your own orgasm building, nerves on fire as your muscles instinctively clenched. You changed the pace again, your hips moving in a slow, deliberate grind, feeling every inch of him, the way he filled you, the way he completed you.
“I'm close, Remmick,” you gasped, raggedly so. A far cry from the steely demeanor you always carried.
He looked up at you, his eyes wide and intense, body still trembling with exertion. “I know, darlin’. I-I can feel it. You're somethin’ else when you're like this,”
His hands gripped your hips tighter, his fingers digging into your flesh, holding you to him as you moved, as you chased your release. He was still hard, still pulsing inside you, but you could feel the tension, the strain, the sheer effort it was taking for him to hold on. To be there for you in this moment.
“You're doin’ so good,” he encouraged. “Just let it go. I'm right here with you. Ain't goin’ nowhere.”
And with that, you shattered. Your orgasm crashed over you, body trembling, hips bucking, nails digging into his chest. He let out a low, guttural cry. A sound of pure, selfless pleasure. His body tensed as he rode out your orgasm with you, hips moving in sync with yours, giving you everything he had left to give.
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The world outside the window was still black.
Not the kind of black that came with sleep or stillness, but that deep, oceanic kind that pressed against the glass like it might swallow the shop whole. A cold wind tapped once, then again, against the panes, but the sound was too soft to pull your focus. The only thing you could hear was Remmick’s breathing. Still ragged, still uneven, like he hadn’t quite landed back in his body yet.
Your own chest was rising slower now.
The adrenaline had drained out of your limbs, leaving only warmth behind. Thick and heavy and strange. The cushions beneath you were slightly askew, the throw blanket hanging off one edge like it had tried and failed to cover something uncontainable. The air still smelled like him.
You weren’t sure you could breathe without pulling him deeper into your lungs.
Your hand rested low on his abdomen, where the tremors hadn’t stopped yet. He was flushed, head tilted back, mouth parted slightly as if waiting for something. Maybe breath, maybe words. The slick between you had cooled slightly in the open air, but neither of you moved.
The moment didn’t ask for motion.
Outside, the wind howled once. Higher this time, almost mournful. But no lights flickered. No car passed. No one knocked.
You were still alone.
Still unseen.
Still safe.
There was a thrill in that. Not just privacy, but secrecy. The knowledge that the two of you had made something here, something raw and holy and utterly indecent in a world that would never, ever be able to comprehend it. No one would guess. No one would imagine it.
You leaned forward slowly.
His eyes fluttered open. Glazed, desperate. Still begging, but quieter now. Not for forgiveness. Just for the chance to stay.
You kissed him.
Gently, firmly, like sealing a letter before sending it somewhere far away. He melted into it. Helpless again, the way he always was with you. And you tasted the salt at the edge of his mouth, not knowing if it was his tears or your sweat, and not caring either way.
When you pulled back, he followed instinctively, chasing the kiss without knowing he was doing it.
His breath hitched.
“I…” he started, but couldn’t finish.
You rested your forehead against his.
He let out something between a sigh and a sob.
“I wanna be better,” he whispered.
“I know.”
“I wanna deserve this.”
“You don’t.”
He froze. Just for a moment. Then his throat worked, and his whole body shuddered.
But you weren’t cruel about it.
You reached up, brushed your fingers through his hair, and let your voice drop to a hush. “You don’t need to earn me, Remmick. That’s not how this works.”
He blinked at you like that didn’t make sense.
But he didn’t argue.
Didn’t say another word.
You let him stay there. Small and grateful and unraveling against you. One hand resting at your hip, the other fisted weakly in the blanket like he might drift off if he didn’t anchor himself to something.
You stared past him, at the darkness beyond the window.
There was no morning yet. No birdsong. No hint of light. The world hadn’t returned.
And you liked it that way.
His breathing was steadier now. Shallower. Slower.
His lips moved once, not quite forming a word. He was trying to stay awake. You could tell. Trying not to miss anything.
“Hey,” you said softly, pulling his attention back.
His eyes opened again.
You traced a slow line across his jaw, following the path of stubble like it meant something. He watched you like it did.
Then, finally, you said your name.
Quiet.
Careful.
Deliberate.
Just that.
Just your name.
His eyes went wide, and then impossibly soft. His mouth parted in disbelief.
You’d never told him before.
You weren’t sure why. It had always seemed too personal, too final. Like once he had it, he’d have a piece of you no one else did. But now that you’d said it, now that it was in the air between you.
You didn’t regret it.
He mouthed it back to you.
Once. Twice.
Then again, this time with sound. Reverent. Fragile. Yours.
You smiled.
Not the kind you gave to strangers or ghosts.
The real one.
And in that tiny, echoing silence, while the window fogged from the heat of your bodies, and the shadows stayed long and untouched, and the world outside forgot to turn, Remmick finally let himself exhale. Finally let himself rest.
You held him through it.
And didn’t let go.
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delilahdadirtydork · 2 years ago
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Rant: Thanks for Nothing Microsoft!
So because of a mandatory update for my computer that didn't get installed properly for reasons beyond my comprehension, File explorer did not want to work anymore. Meaning I could not access my folders that holds all my stuff. Ya know...the primary thing you do when you use a computer.
If I wanted to say open a word document, I could open Libreoffice the program and open the file that I want like normal. I just can't open folder to click on that specific file. When ever I did the tool bar would vanish & refresh itself.
I had tried every method in order to fix this issue. I followed the exact steps. Nothing. Finally...in desperation I was forced to use the Nuclear option. Blow the whole thing away and reinstall windows 11 again.
Of course like a real Nuke, there is going to fallout radiation from that too. I was lucky because while I was able to do so in a round about method to back up all my stuff on to an external drive, there were some stuff (like saved files from my steam games) that were gone. Some of them were stuff I don't remember what they ever were because they were background programs that I needed in order to run other things, so because I wasn't actively & consciously aware of they were...I don't remember what they are only vaguely remembering icon images.
Of course as perv who has their private little collection of lewd stuff naturally I'm sweating a few bullets hoping that doesn't get accidentally discovered while getting help in an attempt to fix things.
Then there's the onerous task of trying to put your computer back together again. Reinstalling stuff. Putting everything back into their little places that you had before. Deleting bloatware. Trying adjust all the settings & micro adjustments to fit my personal tastes. Getting rid of all the BS that Microsoft likes to think is cool such as disabling the newly enforced Copilot bs. Getting rid of things like the visual image of announcing that I'm using the caps lock on my computer that the company that makes my laptop thing is a cool fetcher. Re logging into to stuff and going to your e-mail to do the confirmation that yes YOU ARE the person who is accessing this stuff. Reinstalling add ons & reteaching your favorite websites all the preferences you like to have. Having to sigh in resignation in that despite some of my best efforts there's always SOMETHING that you lost like save game files and knowing you gotta play through the whole thing again.
Plus the frustration, anxiety, & stress that you're doing this while other real life stuff is going on like fixing dinner and your minor chores that feel more like a distract from trying to fix things.
And the worst sin of: Having to spend a couple of hours waiting for in between it all for the reinstaling process.
All this...ALL OF THIS EFFORT, because of ONE single problem caused by an update to my system that I didn't want to do in the first place.
I'm am a very tired bat. I just wanted to watch some smut, play my games & write my stories.
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 2 years ago
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One of the half burnt out lightbulbs in my bedroom (it has been flickering like a strobe light for months whenever it tries to work again. Not great for my epilepsy but I’m pretty sure my building forgot I mentioned it) flickered a few times (as usual) and then just worked normally (for now at least) and it’s like adjusting a camera’s aperture after it was stuck on the wrong setting for months. I forgot that the lighting could actually be decent in here without my lamp on. Fucking wild.
#emma posts#i have realized that I should send another request for a change in#they don’t seem to want me doing it myself#I can do a lot of other things myself. but this isn’t one I guess#they are usually pretty good about things but I think they forgot after they came in to check#it’s a big building after all#this is like the glasses thing all over again though#the first time I got glasses with the right prescription and I went outside#it was like seeing in 4k#leaves you didn’t even realize were less clear were suddenly crisp af#I go around with only one good eye and just don’t realize what depth perception feels like#it was like if your display had a bunch of blurry pixels but you could still see enough to do what you needed to#and then you got the screen repaired or you updated and are like woagh#except this time it was lightning in a room I have blackout curtains in#the lighting isn’t great in the other room this is a problem in. but I at least have the curtains open normally#‘why don’t you have the curtains and blinds open then?’ well that’s only gonna help part of the day#and second. the things are never adjusted right the first time and there are lights right outside the window at night#this wasn’t a problem at the farm! although I had a south facing window there and that posed its own problems in summer because the sun#doesn’t let me sleep in there without blackout curtains#that type of curtain is my bestest friend istg. after my cat. and maybe two human friends
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ntaflos · 2 years ago
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Microsoft testet Windows 11 Neuinstallation ohne Datenverlust
Microsoft testet mit dem Insider-Build 25905 eine neue Funktion in Windows 11, die eine komplette Neuinstallation des Betriebssystems ermöglicht, ohne installierte Programme und unabhängige Dateien zu löschen.
Der neueste Windows 11 Insider-Build bietet eine neue Methode zur Problembehandlung – eine Neuinstallation, die deine Programme und Dateien schützt Hallo und willkommen zu einem weiteren Update aus der Welt von Windows 11! In den letzten Nachrichten von Microsoft geht es um eine spannende Entwicklung, die bald für alle Windows-Nutzer zugänglich sein könnte: Eine komplette Neuinstallation des…
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stellamarielu · 25 days ago
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So I've had this Pope Cody fic idea swimming around in my brain, and I'm not sure what to do with it, so I'm dumping it on y'all. I'd love to really hash it out into a multi part series but I fear I won't be able to commit, so please just take this half assed explanation of the idea instead!
It starts when you move into the neighborhood, right across the street from the cody's. You inherit your grandmother’s house after she passes, and while it's old and could use a few renovations, you're just happy you don't have to pay rent anymore.
Then, just like she does anytime some new moves onto the street, Smurf invites you over for dinner. She's always mindful of her family’s appearance to the neighbors, trying to win them over and get ahead of any concerns they might have over the constant carousel of questionable visitors and over the top ragers taking place at the Cody household.
You accept the invitation and the whole night Pope watches as you fall for Smurf’s phony whimsy— fake smiles and compliments sent your way across the dinner table. While he would normally roll his eyes at the sucker on the other end of her antics, tonight he can’t help but watch the naive glimmer in your eye, and the way you sit so politely in your chair as Smurf attempts to woo you over.
He obsesses over it— the way you look so out of place in their kitchen. Your smile is real. Your laugh is genuine, and very pretty. He’s drawn to you, drawn to your novelty. Your innocence. Fascinated by your perception of life, and how pure everything must be in your eyes; your inability to see Smurf’s deception, the ease in which you giggle at Craig’s inappropriate jokes, the gentle way you avert your eyes, and the shy smile on your lips when you catch Pope’s stare lingering on you.
So after that night at dinner, he starts watching you. It's harmless really. Glancing out the window every so often to see if your car is in the driveway. Staying in his truck for a few extra minutes after he gets home, observing you through the privacy of his tinted windows. Noticing that you leave your blinds open far too long after the sun goes down, peering through your kitchen windows to watch as you do dishes, or eat alone at your dining room table.
One day he’s pulling into the driveway when he notices you across the street. The trunk of your car is wide open and your lugging groceries bags by the handful out of your back seat. He barely has time to contemplate his decision before he appears next to you, surprising you with his presence and almost making you drop the groceries in your hands.
He greets you abruptly. Taking the bags from you effortlessly, like the brown sacks filled to the brim with ingredients weigh absolutely nothing. He stands, waiting for you to lead him into your house, so you do, leading him up the porch and through the front door.
You show him to the kitchen, where he places the bags on a table, making a quick, simple comment about the house being nice. You reply with a "thank you" before rambling on about how it's your grandmother's old house and it could use a lot of work.
In an effort to prove the home is a bit of a fixer upper, you mention the handle on the kitchen sink broke clean off that morning and you still need to call someone out to fix it. He immediately brushes past you, inspecting the broken sink without a word. Then, with a simple, "I can fix it,” he’s lugging in a tool bag and repairing your sink in record time.
You talk to him in the few minutes it takes him to fix the issue. Asking him simple questions with each one earning you a curt response.
"Should I call you Andrew or Pope? I noticed your mom calls you Andrew, but your brothers call you-" "Andrew."
Nonetheless you get to know him a little bit. It's enough for him to offer help anytime you need it. The water pressure in your shower is shit? He's on it. You need to update a few light fixtures? He's there to make sure you don't have to lift a finger. Patchy drywall in the garage? Looks brand new in one afternoon. It becomes his new hobby— fixing your house— being around you.
He spends so much time at your place working on projects, that your relationship blooms naturally. It feels almost like taking in a stray dog; extending a hand just for him to sniff around it until he eventually warms up to you.
You ask him more questions until you realize he doesn't like answering them very much, so instead you tell him about yourself. You allow his reactions to your words, the way he watches carefully when you bring up certain topics, to direct the course of your conversations.
You learn the easiest way to get him to talk is by making him food, the company of sitting across from someone during a meal somehow makes him feel a bit more comfortable. He opens up to you little by little over home cooked meals at your dining room table, the ones you insist he eats because he's spent all evening working hard and the least you can do is feed him.
He never turns down your offer, always accepting with a kind smile and letting his guard down long enough to clear his plate.
There's a safety in the meals you prepare for him— the way you sit peacefully across from each other. It's different from the way Smurf cooks for him. When she does it, it's manipulative, a reminder that she holds power over him, that he needs her to take care of him. But with you, it's an extension of gratitude. An attempt to get to know him. It's so innocent— endearing. He becomes addicted to it, staying longer than he needs to while working on something just to ensure you'll invite him to stay for dinner.
He fills his time with quick meals in your kitchen and little projects throughout your house until the boys find a job.
He's busy scouting and planning, and you start to notice he's around significantly less. He's shown up on your doorstep like clockwork everyday for weeks, and now all of a sudden you haven't seen him in days.
Until he knocks on your door early one morning. It's the day after the job, and he's noticeably banged up. With an open cut on his cheekbone and a black eye he just stands in front of you, apologizing.
He's not really sure how to communicate why he hasn’t seen you in days, or why he’s even at your door. All he knows, is that he just wants to see you. To watch the way you smile at him— to be reminded that he's not all bad. That there's some kind of hope hidden in the way you make him lasagna and let him fix your kitchen sink.
Of course you ask him what happened. You ask him if he's okay, but he doesn't respond, just stares. And the next thing you know, you're inviting him in for breakfast. No more questions, just an offering of quiet connection over eggs and fresh fruit.
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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year ago
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How lock-in hurts design
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Berliners: Otherland has added a second date (Jan 28) for my book-talk after the first one sold out - book now!
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If you've ever read about design, you've probably encountered the idea of "paving the desire path." A "desire path" is an erosion path created by people departing from the official walkway and taking their own route. The story goes that smart campus planners don't fight the desire paths laid down by students; they pave them, formalizing the route that their constituents have voted for with their feet.
Desire paths aren't always great (Wikipedia notes that "desire paths sometimes cut through sensitive habitats and exclusion zones, threatening wildlife and park security"), but in the context of design, a desire path is a way that users communicate with designers, creating a feedback loop between those two groups. The designers make a product, the users use it in ways that surprise the designer, and the designer integrates all that into a new revision of the product.
This method is widely heralded as a means of "co-innovating" between users and companies. Designers who practice the method are lauded for their humility, their willingness to learn from their users. Tech history is strewn with examples of successful paved desire-paths.
Take John Deere. While today the company is notorious for its war on its customers (via its opposition to right to repair), Deere was once a leader in co-innovation, dispatching roving field engineers to visit farms and learn how farmers had modified their tractors. The best of these modifications would then be worked into the next round of tractor designs, in a virtuous cycle:
https://securityledger.com/2019/03/opinion-my-grandfathers-john-deere-would-support-our-right-to-repair/
But this pattern is even more pronounced in the digital world, because it's much easier to update a digital service than it is to update all the tractors in the field, especially if that service is cloud-based, meaning you can modify the back-end everyone is instantly updated. The most celebrated example of this co-creation is Twitter, whose users created a host of its core features.
Retweets, for example, were a user creation. Users who saw something they liked on the service would type "RT" and paste the text and the link into a new tweet composition window. Same for quote-tweets: users copied the URL for a tweet and pasted it in below their own commentary. Twitter designers observed this user innovation and formalized it, turning it into part of Twitter's core feature-set.
Companies are obsessed with discovering digital desire paths. They pay fortunes for analytics software to produce maps of how their users interact with their services, run focus groups, even embed sneaky screen-recording software into their web-pages:
https://www.wired.com/story/the-dark-side-of-replay-sessions-that-record-your-every-move-online/
This relentless surveillance of users is pursued in the name of making things better for them: let us spy on you and we'll figure out where your pain-points and friction are coming from, and remove those. We all win!
But this impulse is a world apart from the humility and respect implied by co-innovation. The constant, nonconsensual observation of users has more to do with controlling users than learning from them.
That is, after all, the ethos of modern technology: the more control a company can exert over its users ,the more value it can transfer from those users to its shareholders. That's the key to enshittification, the ubiquitous platform decay that has degraded virtually all the technology we use, making it worse every day:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/
When you are seeking to control users, the desire paths they create are all too frequently a means to wrestling control back from you. Take advertising: every time a service makes its ads more obnoxious and invasive, it creates an incentive for its users to search for "how do I install an ad-blocker":
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/adblocking-how-about-nah
More than half of all web-users have installed ad-blockers. It's the largest consumer boycott in human history:
https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/
But zero app users have installed ad-blockers, because reverse-engineering an app requires that you bypass its encryption, triggering liability under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. This law provides for a $500,000 fine and a 5-year prison sentence for "circumvention" of access controls:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/12/youre-holding-it-wrong/#if-dishwashers-were-iphones
Beyond that, modifying an app creates liability under copyright, trademark, patent, trade secrets, noncompete, nondisclosure and so on. It's what Jay Freeman calls "felony contempt of business model":
https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/
This is why services are so horny to drive you to install their app rather using their websites: they are trying to get you to do something that, given your druthers, you would prefer not to do. They want to force you to exit through the gift shop, you want to carve a desire path straight to the parking lot. Apps let them mobilize the law to literally criminalize those desire paths.
An app is just a web-page wrapped in enough IP to make it a felony to block ads in it (or do anything else that wrestles value back from a company). Apps are web-pages where everything not forbidden is mandatory.
Seen in this light, an app is a way to wage war on desire paths, to abandon the cooperative model for co-innovation in favor of the adversarial model of user control and extraction.
Corporate apologists like to claim that the proliferation of apps proves that users like them. Neoliberal economists love the idea that business as usual represents a "revealed preference." This is an intellectually unserious tautology: "you do this, so you must like it":
https://boingboing.net/2024/01/22/hp-ceo-says-customers-are-a-bad-investment-unless-they-can-be-made-to-buy-companys-drm-ink-cartridges.html
Calling an action where no alternatives are permissible a "preference" or a "choice" is a cheap trick – especially when considered against the "preferences" that reveal themselves when a real choice is possible. Take commercial surveillance: when Apple gave Ios users a choice about being spied on – a one-click opt of of app-based surveillance – 96% of users choice no spying:
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2021/05/96-of-us-users-opt-out-of-app-tracking-in-ios-14-5-analytics-find/
But then Apple started spying on those very same users that had opted out of spying by Facebook and other Apple competitors:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar
Neoclassical economists aren't just obsessed with revealed preferences – they also love to bandy about the idea of "moral hazard": economic arrangements that tempt people to be dishonest. This is typically applied to the public ("consumers" in the contemptuous parlance of econospeak). But apps are pure moral hazard – for corporations. The ability to prohibit desire paths – and literally imprison rivals who help your users thwart those prohibitions – is too tempting for companies to resist.
The fact that the majority of web users block ads reveals a strong preference for not being spied on ("users just want relevant ads" is such an obvious lie that doesn't merit any serious discussion):
https://www.iccl.ie/news/82-of-the-irish-public-wants-big-techs-toxic-algorithms-switched-off/
Giant companies attained their scale by learning from their users, not by thwarting them. The person using technology always knows something about what they need to do and how they want to do it that the designers can never anticipate. This is especially true of people who are unlike those designers – people who live on the other side of the world, or the other side of the economic divide, or whose bodies don't work the way that the designers' bodies do:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/20/benevolent-dictators/#felony-contempt-of-business-model
Apps – and other technologies that are locked down so their users can be locked in – are the height of technological arrogance. They embody a belief that users are to be told, not heard. If a user wants to do something that the designer didn't anticipate, that's the user's fault:
https://www.wired.com/2010/06/iphone-4-holding-it-wrong/
Corporate enthusiasm for prohibiting you from reconfiguring the tools you use to suit your needs is a declaration of the end of history. "Sure," John Deere execs say, "we once learned from farmers by observing how they modified their tractors. But today's farmers are so much stupider and we are so much smarter that we have nothing to learn from them anymore."
Spying on your users to control them is a poor substitute asking your users their permission to learn from them. Without technological self-determination, preferences can't be revealed. Without the right to seize the means of computation, the desire paths never emerge, leaving designers in the dark about what users really want.
Our policymakers swear loyalty to "innovation" but when corporations ask for the right to decide who can innovate and how, they fall all over themselves to create laws that let companies punish users for the crime of contempt of business-model.
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I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/24/everything-not-mandatory/#is-prohibited
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Image: Belem (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Desire_path_%2819811581366%29.jpg
CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en
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squarebracket-trickster · 11 months ago
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so, the bad news was, shortly after deciding I was going to write, the following four things happened:
Mom asked me to rip up a very long piece of packing paper and roll it into teeny balls (for the worms)
Mom asked me to help her cover her blueberry plants (her latest tactic in the War v The irds)
Dinner was ready
A FUCKING WINDOWS UPDATE FUCKED UP MY COMPUTER WHY WAS THE CONTEXT MENU POPPING UP EVERY .5 SECONDS AND MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE TO DO ANYTHING GAH
the good news is:
I fixed my computer. (If anyone (or future me) ever has a similar issue on a Windows 11 Surface Pro try: Win + X -> Device Manager -> Keyboards -> Surface Type Cover (I think) -> uninstall -> reboot computer (this will reinstall it, hopefully uncorrupted this time - though when mine reinstalled it was just renamed to another HID Keyboard Device).
I managed to write 165 words before I was inevitably sidetracked.
I am experiencing a sudden burst of energy (took a massive swig of my liquid iron supplement), so I shall try to write more.
I am exhausted as all fuck right now (the chronic fatigue is kicking my ass). But I am going to try to write anyway. It's been too long since I last added to my manuscript and my brain is getting itchy. (You know, that kind of itch that's like: there are too many thoughts inside you right now and you need to get them out. But also, the itch that's like: at this rate you'll never finish this draft, you need to work on it now. And also, the itch that's like: look at all the amazing things other people are creating, doesn't this fill you with yearning? - that could be your stuff *ahem*.)
I have like 10 million better things I could be doing right now, but I've spend the past few weeks not writing when I wanted to because I was doing those 10 million other things. So sorry, life responsibilities, but you'll have to wait. Besides the only thing I actually have the energy for right now is scrolling on my phone. Which. I have done enough of today. If I have to look at one more TikTok I swear to god
Normally, I don't like to write unless I have the energy to make it good, but at this point I don't care. The other night, overcome with an urge to write something, anything, I just started typing without thinking too hard, and it was actually decent when I reread it a few days later.
All that is to say, the exercise has filled me with hubris for what I can accomplish while in the midst of a fatigue flare.
Alas, writing sesh goal for today:
I'm starting with 50755 words (not including whatever I've done of the OOB scene). Idk what percent of /80 000 that is. I have exactly 2500 words worth of second draft (and OOB scene) that I had pasted into my 3rd draft ages ago so I could rework them, which I started doing but have yet to finish.
Today's word goal is not a percent or a number, it's just to finally get rid of those second draft scenes (and be all caught up to the OOB scene). I am tired of not being able just to use the word count meter at the bottom of my doc without having to do math.
And remember, Square: just fill in the missing worldbuilding, description, names, continuity etc. Cut out anything that doesn't need to be there. You can monkey around with the pacing and line edits if you see an easy fix, but no. perfectionism. no. If the sentence doesn't come to you within a minute, leave it. That's what draft 4 is for (that's future me's problem hehe).
--
Oh, the other good news is that I just had a shower and my hair is very soft, so soft. you have no idea. peasants
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 18 days ago
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As I wind down the pines 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, grief, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Left alone after the death of your grandparents, you must survive the remote backwoods.
Characters: Bucky Barnes
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
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The sun peeks through the fluttering leaves, shadows rippling overhead. You shiver against the large oak knees bent, arms around your legs, woozy with the ache of your stomach. Those acorns only made you feel sick.
You need more than nuts and half-grown mushrooms. The trap you set didn't get you anything but a toad and you're second-guessing not boiling it up in a stew. You rub your eyes and let your head fall into your hands. The forest floor shifts. You can't stay out here much longer.
It takes a while to find your strength. You press your palms to the rough bark and slowly scale up to your feet. You sway and drag your feet through the twigs and soil. You stumble into a white birch.
You trail your fingers up and peel a strip off. You yank it and tumble into the dirt. Your fingers are raw from the effort. You can boil the bark and make a stew. Your grandmother would gather the same bark but used it more as seasoning or to bulk out a heartier mix.
You work at stripping away more bark. It won't be much but it's something. You tuck it into the loose pocket of your grandfather's jacket. He has no use of it anymore. You shouldn't need it out in the sun but you can't stop shivering.
You plod down the slant of the forest floor and stop. This is the wrong way. You blink and turn. You've never been lost in these woods before. You grew up here, you know it like you know your reflection, but you're lost. You close your eyes as you try to chase away the pulsing behind them.
Another deep breath. You think you know that elm. Right around to the east is the shell of Chester's mill. Your grandfather told you about the old man that once owned it. He called him a curmudgeon with too much to say.
There's the old fence post but it's no longer crooked or lonely. There are new slats hammered in next to it, secured with cross bars. You slip and dig your heels in. The old mill is not what you remember. The hanging door is back in place and the gate has been replaced with a stronger one. The shed shows signs of repairs in its mismatched boards and the mill house is surrounded in scaffolding.
The house looks best of all. The cracked windows are replaced and there's a lone chair on the porch, reinforced so it no longer dips. Someone's moved in but no one ever comes all the way up here. They only leave, in a coffin or otherwise. 
Change. Things aren't like they were. They won't be. They can't. 
There's a scent on the air that draws you. One you should have filling your nose in the mornings and simmering from the oven at night. The fresh, delectable waft of a tomato vine.
There isn't thought in your head as you advance across the long strands of glass. There is only the clenching in your stomach and the slickness on your tongue. You see no life as you approach. You stop at the gate and wait. 
The windows shine in sunlight but curtains within keep the haze without. You search through the fog of hunger for a threat. There's only a squirrel skittering along the top of the fence, likely on a mission for its own harvest.
You slip your hands between the high slats and feel around. You flip the inner latch and the hinges give. You ease the door inward and shuffle through. You leave it open without catch.
You sniff the air and follow your nose. The lush plateau of soil and greenery delight your vision and your starving stomach. You want to fall upon it and devour every leaf and seed.
Sense flickers and guilt boils in your guts. The work that went into all this and you look to plunder. That same work that did not bear much from your own dirt.
It doesn't matter. You can't hold yourself back. You need more than dry bark and boiled water. You will take only a little. They won't notice with all they have. Two tomatoes, a bright orange pepper, and a single potato.
You use the large pockets of the oversized jacket to store it all and retreat. You stop at the gate, waiting to be caught out, waiting for the holler or worse, the gun shot. Nothing. Just the sunlight and the scent of the garden.
You shut the gate and head for the trees. It's a far way home but the promise of a flavourful stew keep your feet moving. And after...
You'll have to figure that out.
🌳
The old house stands between two broad oaks, the roots extending into the foundation. The once white stained wood is chipped and splintered. Your grandmother's old basket planters are dried out and barren. Your grandfather's bench still stands but without anyone to sit on it.
You climb the steps, the rain spout creaking, the windows groaning. You try not to see the empty garden. The wilting leaves and the churned soil. First the rains flooded out the soil, then the sun dried it to dust, and the little that sprouted fed the family of rabbits who cared little for the bristles of your broom.
Calamity. Tragedy. You planted too early. You had that feeling, your grandfather's voice in your head, but you did not trust it. After the winter blew over the shed and smashed the years of preserves, you were too eager to have something. Anything.
Desperation is the eight deadly sin. Your grandparents always said. Patience, though, is the best of all the virtues.
The door clatters behind you. You get your pot and bring it to the stove. It's the old sort from more than a century ago. You open the little door and add a small log to the ash and remnants of the last burn.
Your hands shake as you light the fire. The flames do not come easy and your fingers are sore with the effort. You shut the door and leave the stove to warm as you unpack your wares...
Stolen goods. You take out a knife chop up half the pepper and one tomato, then half the potato. The rest You'll store in the cellar where the shelves have rotted away. They will keep at least a few days.
You put water onto boil. You add the veggies and use the mortar and pestle to crush up some of the birch. You season it and put a lid on.
As it steams around the brim, you sit on the drooping sofa and lean back into the cushions. You're so tired you're weak yet all you seem to do is sleep and look for food. You're in no short supply of the former.
🌳
The stew holds you over for a week. Maybe longer. The days are hard to track in the smear of anxiety and lingering hunger. You only eat a little, never gorging, never satisfied. 
Nuts. Half the shells you find have been emptied by squirrels and chipmunks. You choke down a handful of earthworms only to spew it up just as painfully. A dead bird tempts you but the diseased stench keeps you from that mistake. 
You chew on the birch and some leaves of mint. You stop at the river and put your feet in. It only makes you shiver more. It's summer. You shouldn't be shivering. Oh well. You just need to eat. That's all you can think about.
You trod on, stopping to gather what you can. If you can't get more, even just squirrel meat, you won't have the energy to walk so long. Once that happens...
Your grandparents would be disappointed. They taught you better. You did fine last year, the first without both of them, but this year is not last year.
As searing as the hunger is the loneliness. You miss them both terribly. They were your people. The only ones that ever looked after you. They taught you well because they wanted to take care of you always and you squandered it.
You crash down your rear in the dirt. You sit in the shade of the pines and stare at the mill house. You shouldn't. You really shouldn't. Once was more than too much.
Your head spins and you try to steady your vision as you grip the sides of your skull. Are you going insane? It sure feels like it.
You stand before you know what you're doing. The trek through the treeline and across the clearing isn't very far at all. It can't be. You're right there at the gate.
You feel along the slat like before, reaching, reaching, reaching. You flick the lock and swing inside. No one's there but you forgot to even check.
You walk cautiously over the grass to the plot of vegetables, even riper than the last time you came. The tomatoes are so big some have fallen off the vine. Carrots!
Not yours! Remember. What are you doing here?
The juice of the tomato floods your mouth as the answer drifts away. You don't care. You're starving. On your knees in the dirt, gnawing like a ravenous rodent.
You devour the tomato and reach for another. A knife flies into the red skin and splits the fruit in half, seeds and guts exploding onto you. You recoil and cry out. 
You wipe your face and look at the man at the end of the plot. His expression is as friendly as the knife that nearly sliced you. You blink and your lip trembles. You're pathetic. You're no better than the gluttonous squirrels.
"I'm... sorry. I... I... I..." you choke.
He comes forward. You stare as you take in all of him. Tall, broad, startlingly so from your vantage on the ground. 
His blue eyes bore into you as the muscles of his right exposed arm bulge. His other shoulder is blunted and his shirt pinned over it. His dark hair is past his shoulders, drawn back in by a tie as a few strands slip free. His beard is dense across his gritting jaw.
You wilt and accept your fate. It's quicker this way. He stops in front of you and bends to retrieve the knife. You watch him grip it and wait for him to aim the tip at you. He wipes it on his pant leg and slides it into his belt. 
He stands straight, towering over you as his hand goes to his hip. 
"That's two today." He says. "Plus two before, a potato, and a pepper."
You bat your lashes at him and sway. You gulp. You shake your head and show your hands.
"I'm hungry..." you croak. "I'm so hungry."
"You're a thief," he snarls. "You're gonna pay me back."
"I don't... I got nothing, mister. I'm sorry. Please," you shrink down and cover your face.
"You got two hands and a brain." He growls. "So get up and get to work."
You look up above your fingertips. The sun limns the man's silhouette like an otherwordly wraith. You snivel and nod. You have no other choice, not unless you want to see his knife again.
You plant your feet and slowly straighten your legs. You rock as he turns on his heel and marches off. You stare after him confused. Do you follow?
You stay as you are and peek down at the mangled tomato. You're hungry enough to pick it out of the dirt. You're kept from that as the man reappears with a round apple basket in hand.
You stagger back as he approaches. He shoves it at you and grows. "Fill that up. Don't eat them."
"Um..." you hug the basket as you gape at him.
"That'll even us out." He taps the top of the basket and you nearly topple.
"Yes, mister." You agree to keep him at bay. To hope he doesn't hurt you.
You back away and turn to the tomato vines. You bend first to gather the fruits off the ground. Your head feels heavy as you plunk down the basket. Your stomach mulches the quickly absconded tomato and adds to the sudden wave.
Your head pulses and silver stars speckle in your vision. You shake your head and set your feet. Dizziness swirls in your head and you lock your knees to stay up. Before you know it, the world is black and the world is only a memory.
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bamsara · 11 months ago
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Wall update: was going to repair it today but had to stop because the rest of it started falling out and the support wood that holds up the window started crumbling away, and now my wall smells bad and also isn't supposed to look like that and I've been told to stop because it might cave in (or out?)
Anyway I guess I'm glad my cat broke the drywall because I wouldn't have done this sooner lmao. Apparently that's mold. Called re-enforcement, will update later
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