#SO MY PLAN IS FOILED

[halinski]

.

[rabbitprincessthief]

gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)

Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:

he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament

turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter

(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)

(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)

proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)

gloats evilly

opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters

exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass

RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line

completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)

petrifies her

(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)

(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)

looks in the chest

there's no light force

considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh

uhhh

evil laugh

teleports the fuck out

He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.

None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.

(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)

Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.

[fairylwt]

in case you’re having a bad day, here’s nick nelson scrunching his nose

[webbelzebub]

thinkin abt the line "you think the time that i was chaste was being waste on a holy mission?" her defining characteristic throughout the show is her devotion to her religion, only for her to describe it all as a waste in the end

imagine you spend your entire life being good, being so so good, faithful- only for that faith and all of your goodness to be the direct cause of your downfall. if she didn't feel so much shame and anger in regards to her attraction to max, she never would have come up with the plan to prank him, which never would have led to his death, which never would have led to her having to give up her chastity after his resurrection.

imagine all of your doubts and fears becoming real. and in your darkest moment, at your rock bottom, when you are completely alone, abandoned by the very god you've pledged your life to, you find a new set of gods. gods that are real, gods that are tangible. gods that can give you back the power that you lost. gods that can give you back your purpose.

[iminhiraeth]

cutely sprinkling romance tropes into this Limoreau fic before these mf’s have the chance to find even ground with each other

Marie needing something else to wear: Guess I’ll just have to cope.

Jordan, begrudgingly handing over their sweatshirt: SIGH.. Here. 🙄

[way2gosuperrstarr]

on one hand, im hvaing soooo much fun, on the other hand, THERE IS NO WAY FAZBEAR ENTERTAINMENT WOULD PUT THIS MUCH EFFORT INTO COSTUME DESIGN FOR ANY OF THEIR ANIMATRONICS 😭😭😭😭 IM TORNNNNN

[tvckerwash]

you know a trait I wish we would've gotten to see more of post recollection is Sneaky BastardTM wash who has a plan on top of the real plan and he doesn't tell anyone about said real plan until the last possible second, essentially forcing those around him to participate against their will in one way or another. get moved around like pawns on a chess board idiots.

[ganonscastle]

chag sameach 💙

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Guess who's sick gents

[deepfriedpaddymayne]

GOD isn't it insane how paddy has this whole. unlovable renegade complex, which is subtle but very much There, and then he has not one but TWO whole characters whose main role in the story is just. being utterly smitten with him.

[worstloki]

prize for least genre aware protagonist 👑

[sobredunia]

A lil fish animation! They b swimming

@rottenkadaver @sansxfuckyou @blacklight-system @beetroot-merchant @ashs-hellhole @h3xt0r

[wordswhisperinthedark]

MEDALIST I AM HOLDING YOU SO TIGHTLY

[kerorowhump]

god the writing in KG is just impeccable and it does NOT get the credit it deserves because i can put any two characters from the main 5 together in a pair and they'll have some interesting contrasts and points in common that they don't have with the others

[nomsfaultau]

Mmm haven’t posted the chapter of Lord, what fools these mortals be! where Fae!Kristin shows up but I want to ramble about characterization so. Ahh. Anyway, fae!Philza is pretty upfront with his creepy fairy shtick. Incredibly possessive, clearly operating on an alien morality system (or lack there of), oscillating between kindness and a cruel apathy for Tommy’s feelings. Kristin though….she’s a LOT more subtle. There’s warning signs of course, such as the sudden extreme violence. Philza had that too, of course, but never directed at the kid he’s trying to manipulate. But Kristin gets away with it. She wants them to survive, of course. She’s just trying to make them better. And it clearly works. Kristin’s just so nice, and over protective, and clearly lonely. She’s frequently reassuring to Wilbur and Technoblade but it’s in a way that hides her true plan if not her intentions. No, she’s very clear about wanting their souls forever, but all her blatant tactics are decoys. She’s far more subtle than Philza. She gives Wil and Techno everything they want till they don’t even consider leaving even as they’re determined to never fall into the obvious, fun traps, the type they joke about at dinners so the men feel like they’re outwitting her while all the while she’s unraveling their character flaws until they’re fully ensnared. She designs the rules of the game to mold them into her perfect children. Little details piling up until it’s revealed she’s completely altered their bodies until they’re unrecognizable as human, so slowly neither even noticed. And she’s shaped their thoughts for decades to the point they don’t even care. Why should they? She’s just trying to make them better. And it’s Kristin that reveals why the Fae rulers even need children: they keep accidentally murdering their kids. It’s why she’s so over protective. It’s why she wanted Techno and Wil to be better, promised them power in a way that was honey poison to their ambitions and made them prisoners of the fae world no matter how free they thought they were.

That’s the real difference between Fae Phil and Kristin. All three Neapolitan trio felt scared, but Tommy was never given the illusion of protecting himself while in actuality only endangering himself further. His fear saved him.

And that’s why Tommy’s going to escape, while Techno and Wilbur willingly go back.

[simgerale]

also