#SOMEONE WRITE THIS PLEASE

[xiaq]

I want an AU where Steve is a werewolf and Eddie is a vampire except neither of them know about the other.

Eddie is the frontman of an up and coming band, but he's left his coven and surrounded himself with humans. They perform after sunset anyway so it's easy enough for him to hide his nature.

Steve has similarly left his toxic family pack and built his own pseudo-pack through the kids. He works as a park ranger. Or an ornithologist. Or something else nature-y/nerdy. But no one knows about his furry little secret.

Maybe Steve ends up attending a concert with one of the kids who has VIP passes and Eddie zeros in on Steve immediately at the meet and greet because he's pretty and preppy and delightfully out of place and also he smells good. And Steve is having similar thoughts, but he tries to play it off because there's no way an honest to god rock star would be interested in him and his polo and his boat shoes (also his hearing is temporarily fucked from the concert, so he doesn't register Eddie's lack of heartbeat).

After some light flirting, Eddie invites Steve back to his hotel and Steve is like, you know what? Yes. I am going to have a one night stand with the gorgeous front man of a metal band and I'll probably fall a little in love with him by the end of the night and it will break my heart when he kicks me out in the morning, but it will be an experience. Let me go drop off my kids and I'll be right back.

Except what he doesn't know is Eddie is planning to have a little snack while they're in the throes of passion––not enough to hurt Steve or anything, just enough that he'll have a pleasurable blackout and wake up tired but sated.

The only problem is that neck-biting (that breaks the skin) for wolves is the equivalent of marriage.

So when Eddie bites Steve, instead of a venom-drunk human, peacefully slipping into sleep in his arms, he gets a very horny, very confused, werewolf who is now insisting that they're married.

I can't decide if it would be funnier if Wolves/Vampires didn't know about each other, Ie:

"You're a Werewolf?" Eddie says, "What do you mean you're a werewolf? Werewolves exist? No. Shut up. Prove it."

And:

"Holy shit. A vampire. Vampires are real," Steve reaches for Eddie's face and Eddie is so baffled by the everything of this situation that he lets Steve pinch Eddie's top lip and peel it up off his fangs for a mortifyingly long moment. Eddie draws the line when he starts poking at Eddie's incisors, though.

"Why do I feel funny?" Steve mutters. "Will your venom kill me?"

"How should I know," Eddie hisses, only a little hysterical, "I didn't know wolves existed until two minutes ago, I've never bitten a wolf before."

"And you won't be biting any others, mister. Infidelity is not ok."

The other option is that wolves and vamps DO know about each other but stay so isolated in their covens and packs (and loners are super unusual) that they never interact. So Steve and Eddie are both like, dang, I'd been raised to think all of your kind were smelly/ugly/gross, but you uh, don't fit into that box at all. Weird.

Regardless, Steve (still naked, probably) crosses his arms all huffy, like, "well, we're married now, you're not going to bite me and then cast me aside like some harlot," and Eddie is like "...I'm weirdly ok with this, actually. No arguments here." And eventually they live happily ever after.

[ashestoashes7]

I’ve been thinking about the others finding out Neil bought Andrew the Maserati and he is the type of person to casually drop that ‘yeah, the fancy sports car? I got that, didn’t you notice I’m on the registration?’ And everyone completely blanks because Neil you came here with one bag and dressed like that.

So they think he’s fucking with them until Andrew just drops that “blood money has its uses”

[winterbuckwild]

Steve is a body positive fitness streamer with a focus on flexibility and reducing pain.

Eddie is a gaming streamer who sits cross legged at an angle on his gaming chair for hours on end and, on camera, seems to suffer no particular after effects.

Steve does a video including a clip from one of Eddie's streams on bad posture with stretches on how to correct it and avoid severe back pain and get a dm only an hour later from a very grateful metalhead who was on his third dose of ibuprofen of the day and sounded like a rice krispie when he moved.

Steve clearly takes this as a challenge.

[lucidpillows]

star lacrosse co-captain alex / rebellious musical talent henry

[melonjollyranche]

Y'all remember when Matt sniffed the socks Chris had just worn? It got me thinking and I now believe he sniffs panties. Like I NEED to see a fic where the reader walks in on him jerking off to her panties and she puts them in his mouth as punishment while she rides him like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE idc who writes it I just want to see it

[fotibrit]

Most of Tony’s personal notes were in his own unique language. Everyone thinks his work is lost, when he dies, until Peter steps forward admitting that Tony taught him the language. Peter is put in charge of translating Tony’s remaining plans when he finds a suspicious note on Tony’s desk, in the language only two people speak, that completely convinces Peter that Tony faked his death

[blueberry-obsessed]

Okay but what if there was an ice cream shop au and Max was Charles' dog sitter? What if one of Charles' friends recommended Max since Leo is such a menace and can't be trusted inside the shop lest he eat the chocolate ice cream?? What if Charles doesn't trust him with his little innocent puppy at first but then he sees just how sweet Max is with Leo and falls head over heels??? What then????

[nona-gay-simus]

Okay, Modern AU Griddlehark idea since I'm not using it:

Harrow and Gideon start hooking up and Harrow starts asking Gideon for "dirty pics". Except because Harrow is a demisexual Catholic nun, her idea of what constitutes "dirty" is extremely PG-13 rated. So it would be stuff like, biceps, calfs, abs, thighs. And over time, the "dirty" pics just become normal selfies. She would text What are you doing rn? And Gideon would send her a selfie of herself, brushing her teeth.

[lemonbeemon]

I need a special kind of awful fate for Malenia. The goddess of rot whom only ever bloomed twice. I need her to reform, to witness a world wiped clean of the Golden Order. Of Miquella and their siblings. I need her to wander, unknown as a fearsome beast, and be made aware of the world without gods. Alone. So alone that she has no choice but to continue on, until at last she returns home. Back to the wretched capital of Lyendell. Where her mother- her brother's- murderer sits atop the very throne that doomed their father to a mindless death. I need her to fight, to be ready to bloom once more, and be denied the barest honor of a duel. Neutrality- worse- forgiveness is a fate worse than death. Trapped in a realm where she no longer has a single thing to devote her soul, her fighting spirit, unto.

I need her to live, to have her rot sealed away and her sins forgiven, in the lands without gods.

[callofthecurlew]

what if we get a montage of every time Gerrard pisses Buck off, he has to get it out of his system by dragging Tommy into bed.

[l0sert0wn]

As much as I love reading smut of Miguel O’Hara, some fluff would be nice too 😩 like let me give this man a hug. Or writers imagine, a single dad Miguel x teacher reader 👀 with like fluff and some smut in it. Like ugh that would be so cute! SOMEONE NEED TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

[haedrean]

An AU about souls end up turning into stars and Nico is the Star Farer (basically Charon but for stars). He was a soul who died young but reject rests, wishing instead to guide those who died so they wouldn’t feel lonely. Life goes on yada yada until he met Jason Grace, mortal boy who died to save his love from a car crash. Jason never moved on because he insisted to be his lover’s guardian angel despite Nico’s vehement protest that being a star is what he should be doing.

Cue shenanigans where they keep meeting up whenever Nico is in town and they slowly get to know one another.

Jason once asked him; “Doesn’t it get lonely? Everyone moved on and you’re doing this alone?”

Nico smiled softly, stiltedly, as if the thin pressing of his lips are iron doors shutting behind a treasure of untold pain.

“It’s no different than being alive. Besides, I can at least help others feel less alone.”

This goes on and on until one day Nico came to pick up Jason’s last love who had grown old had children and is dying peacefully. Nico expected scorn and rejection but instead was faced with understanding. Nico smiled, despite himself. When he turned to Jason after his tearful reunion with Piper and how she’s grateful for all he’s done, he expected Jason to be ready to move on. He guided them across the sea of stars and when Piper left his boat, Jason stayed.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m staying.”

“There’s nothing left for you to stay! Jason, she moved on, your whole family moved on. You can rest now.”

“I can’t.” He takes a step closer, his hand slowly reaching the ferryman’s. “You’ll be alone.”

“ I can’t.” Nico shakes his head vehemently. “I’m always alone. It is how it is.”

“Then let’s be alone together.”

Jasico Star Farer AU

[mmisery]

Aziraphale and Crowley first sharing kisses in 1941 (and probably many more times throughout the next decades or century) them never properly talking about it like they should. Aziraphale overhearing something out of context sometime in 1967 between Crowley and another demon/or human and then Az thinking back to this scene

cue our angel being heartbroken that Crowley looks to be involved with someone else or has another paramour and effectively thinking of himself as a 'side piece' (though obviously not in those words) but accepting that they've always been on different sides anyway and that all the small moments they do share that they never give a name to are all he's ever going to have. So for years he tries to keep Crowley at a distance because it's never going to last or be anything real. But of course Crowley will have things to say on the matter

again obviously not in these exact words though

[lucidpillows]

F1 driver Henry x Team Principal Alex — forbidden love trope

Henry is son of Arthur Fox, the most decorated F1 driver in England racing history. He wants to live up to his father's legacy and prove he's earned his spot on the team; he can't afford any distractions, not even delicious as sin, newly appointed team principal, Alex Claremont-Diaz.

Alex finds himself thrust into the role of team principal after the previous one found himself in hot water (some sort of scandal). He's heavily scrutinized, having only been part of the circuit for a handful of years. Like Henry, he's determined to prove himself and right the ship. He can't afford to make mistakes or bring another scandal to the team... which having a steamy underground relationship with their lead driver certainly will do.

[evilwinterfruit]

Laszlo getting shoved back into a carriage at knifepoint by a gangster.

[imnotadogiswear]

What if we wrote characters reading thirst posts like on Jimmy Kimmel