#SORRY I JUST HAD LIKE. SUCH AN EPIPHANY ABOUT THESE TWO AND IM LIKE OUT OF MY MIND

[prettyboykatsuki]

the itoshi brothers (and how bluelock handles betrayal as character motivation)

✦ or why i don't think sae hates rin afterall.

✦ a / n ; this absurdly long and absurdly extensive. my bad. also sorry if this is obvious to some people, sometimes it takes me a few reads fdfksj

i want to preface this by saying - i'm not really very invested in the itoshi brothers. or at least i wasn't originally. the character im usually most taken with is isagi, but i've sort of been wanting to dissect sae because i can't fully wrap my head around his character. and when i want to understand a character, i usually end up going through a re-read of their chapters and arcs - to get a feel for them and all.

sorry for the thick paragraph, but tl;dr this is the first time im really analyzing these two so if this is obvious to everyone else please ignore me asjdskjds

anyway. the analysis.

there's two things that need to be examined when taking a look at the itoshi brothers. the first being their relationship before sae took off to spain, the second being how bluelock sets up concepts like betrayal for the sake of improvement.

firstly - i think we need to address saes character on a base level. sae is shown to be relatively detached in general. whereas rin has forever been more of sensitive character - sae is critical and level-headed. i suspect this is partially accredited to his role as older brother.

but you'll notice that sae is significantly more gentle to rin. he's a good older brother, both encouraing rin to do well and play soccer with him. even if he lacks that sort of finesse with teammates.

from the beginning, rin idolizes his older brothers character. every goal he has is in some way relating to pleasing or impressing sae. it's not unusual for him to do as a younger brother, especially one who was obviously doted on by rin. it's very clear that rin loves his brother deeply and feels a need to earn his favor nearly always.

there's this conversation they have in ch.124 that really drew me to this conclusion and sort of shifted my perspective on this relationship. i had always figure that sae had experienced something in spain that we, the audience don't know. it's very bluelock for characters to change drastically due to some crushing defeat (case and point kunigami)

but i hadn't take into consideration what that event would've changed in these twos relationship where maybe i should've. the thing is that sae is always concerned about how rin will fare without him.

in this chapter, sae asks rin what he thinks about or considers with playing soccer and rin responds with something along the lines of - he's not really thinking. he uses instinct and has confidence his brothers passes to him. sae is of course critical of this.

aside from the very obvious affection that this two share - sae goes onto tell rin that he's going off to spain soon. he once again, encourages rin to do his best and not fall behind while he's gone. rin responds with of course, and promises to become best in japan while sae goes onto become best in the world.

from there, we see rins life as he continues to grow up while his brother is in spain for several years. rin is shown to feel a little bit lonely, but keeps his promise of dedicating his entire life to football. not only is he a good team-player, he spends his free time practicing alone because he has full faith in the promise that he made with sae when they were young.

whats noticeable to me is the way rin describes playing without sae as constricting or inconvenient. the sport doesn't quite feel the same without sae around, but rin continues to practice because he values his relationship to his brother.

it's coming directly off of a win that sae returns home and sees rin practicing, and it's here i had a realization about the nature of their relationship and their driving force.

and it's here where i really put together what the actual consequence of saes spain trip was.

but before i get to that, i want to touch on the way bluelock as a series handles the concept of failure and motivation. because there are two seperate instances where a character has some sort of major event happen to them - whether that be a kind of betrayal or a massive failure and that drives their character to improve farther.

the first one being kunigami and his transformation as the hyena. the second and imo - the more important one, the relationship between reo and nagi.

to keep it brief - nagi essentially 'betrays' reo by choosing to go with isagi and separate himself from reo in order to improve. while nagi doesn't entirely understand it as a betrayal (because he still considers reo a close friend) it is indeed a crushing moment for reo - who makes it his goal and his ego to be a player that nagi can play with.

in laymans terms - it's betrayal of a pairing that provides character development and is often used to highlight the intense bonds between two people. to be motivated by someone instead of something can only speak to how much you value that person, and want to play with them, right?

and that's where i want to pick up with rin and sae.

there are so many details about this scene to nitpick. so many things i want to shed light on because i just find it so interesting when i look carefully. sae returns home while rin is practicing on the field, and rin is incredibly excited to see his brother.

but it's obvious both to us as the audience and to rin that sae has changed somehow.

you can just tell that sae looks exhausted, where as rin has the same same expression as he did four years ago.

there are so many things in this panel that i think are worth analyzing. the fact that rin notices that sae has lost weight as a marker of just how much sae has changed. what he's been through.

and more specifically what sae says in order to summarize his experiences in spain.

"turns out the world is huge. there're players way better than me out there. i..i've changed my dream."

now, my understanding of japanese is none so i can't compare this to the raws. but i want to discuss the phrasing here with a little more nuance - specifically, i want to talk about the way sae has phrased the sentence.

you'll notice that sae does not say "my dream has changed". he instead says "i've changed my dream." and i think this is a testament to what happened to him in the fours years he was abroad. sae wants it to seem like its a choice he's made, if only to convince rin that he's fine with it. it's obvious that sae likely experienced whats very common for characters in bluelock - which is the mortifying realization that he was practically nothing in comparison to his peers.

we know what the means for sae as individual, in that he was deeply discouraged by what he understood as reality. but what does that mean for sae as an older brother? particularly an older brother who dotes on his younger brother.

rin is very against the idea of sae playing as a midfielder, and tells sae to his face that he doesn't want to see sae like this. he recognizes that saes change is actually stemming from a sense of defeat, and is against the idea of sae giving up his dream. and you can see in saes expression that he's saddened at rins reaction - thought he might've predicted it to some extent.

he's insistent on the fact rin doesn't understand, but hearing rin say "you're not the same brother i shared a dream with...!" causes the façade to crack momentarily. in the minute that sae is covered in shadow, we see his approach to rin changing.

and i think it's here i realized what the sudden attitude change was about.

sae goes onto to challenge rin to a one on one duel. he tells rin, that if you're able to win against me here then ill continue to believe in that dream. he absolutely crushes rin in the match, and when that match is over - rin finally confesses it outright.

its this moment where it all finally clicked for me that saes response here was entirely intentional. and the reason i know that to be true, and that the way he talks to rin here is insincere is because of the way he hesitates.

we get an entire panel where sae simply stares at rin and is silent. this isn't a gut reaction. we intentionally get to see the briefest moment where sae is hesitating to say all of this cruel shit to rin. because he knows rin will never stop idolizing sae or hoping for that dream.

and you'll notice the way he's using this moment to drill something in rins head for later on. he says something explicitly i want to talk to about

"don't use me as your reason to play football ever again."

its this moment that confirms it for me. this, on top of the fact we don't get to see saes expression when he says the last part. he's turned away from rin entirely - when he had been facing rin for most of this conversation.

that's the thing, though. sae to some extent, is familiar with the cruelty that soccer on the international level has to offer. in the early part of the manga, you see him have a similar reaction to bluelock and egoism as a concept. sae is intrigued by it and supports its core tenets to some extent, because he's seen professional soccer at its most brutal.

when you think about it, what reason does sae have to be so intentionally cruel to rin about not wanting to play football? if he was really so indifferent to rin, what reason would there be to crush him to that extent? wouldn't the appropriate response be just that, indifference?

sae's disposition is never naturally cruel. but his whims and feelings adjust based on input. he plays soccer and thinks very heavily about his moves. so if his experiences is telling him that he is no longer fit to be a striker, then what does that make of the promise he made to the younger brother he adored.

all of that to say, i think sae wants rin to become a striker and wants to continue playing soccer with rin. but he believes that if rin remains attached to him the way he is - he will never reach his full potentional. and in order to bring that full potential out - he's willing to be the catalyst and subsequently the villain rins story.

i think all of it, and the intentional salt in the wound is a mechanism for rins development which sae achieves by the end of u20 almost.

[landfilloftrash]

If I told you there was a series of games created before I was born, developed by Capcom, and that I was obsessed with a pairing of middle aged men within; The pairing being comprised of a someone around a decade or so older than the younger, lighter colored hair, stern and serious with a very deadpan sense of humor, along with “this is my job. I shall do it perfectly” demeanor about his work— very cat-coded in general, if you can think it, it will most probably apply— and the younger being very a determined brunette with firm morals who goes toe to toe with the older man and is frequently one of the only ones who can do so with their hell-bent insistence to do good and defend those who cannot, no matter the cost, who is quite dog-coded in reverse. They spend a few years in each other’s company, learning about each other (even if it’s at a distance and professionally) and then. Something happens. The older one of the pair betrays the brunette — his strings being pulled by a higher power, but it does not excuse him— and in the process reveals a cowardly and vengeful side after the event, causing the entirety of the franchise we play to happen. And then only a bit later in the storyline, one murdered the other, in cold but passioned blood, because destiny deemed it this way and they only heed the call of it. And whether or not it was intentional, leaving said murdered man’s child an orphan completely alone in the world as a side effect. For years after the event, they are satisfied with what happened, if burdened by guilt. But they were right to do so, weren’t they? They proceed to be metaphorically haunted by the man they killed for the rest of their life, however. And that will come to a head for them.

Now… am I talking about Chrisker (Chris Redfield/Albert Wesker), or Shingou (Mitsurugi Shin/Karuma Gou) ?

[foodiegoogie]

epiphanies over hotpot

james potter x gn!reader ✮ 1.6k summary: james comes to an illuminating realization when he sees you do something so unexpected for him. cw/tags: established relationship, james is SUPER whipped, mention of food, but the vibes are cozy and domestic :> also, we acknowledge the fact that james is a little diva !

note: inspired by smth i saw on twitter that went like, “yeah sex is good and all but will u clean my glasses for me when im wearing the wrong type of shirt” HAHA (...will u?) anyway, hope u enjoy reading this!! <3 i enjoyed writing it sm hehe

James has always been a chatterbox. In fact, it’s usually a cause for concern whenever he goes nonverbal. He’s almost animated with how often he talks with his hands, or how his face contorts into various expressions—each one of them successfully depicting his emotions well. 

You had always been a listener; always preferred to be silent, always preferred to just listen. In fact, you were a good listener; always supplying enough replies to keep the conversation going, asking questions so they could continue talking because you’re genuinely interested in what you were listening about. 

This makes James—the hopeless romantic that he is—convinced that you were both made for each other. But aside from that, he’s also a firm believer of the “opposites attract” phenomenon. He likes to think that’s what makes the two of you so special, too.

Presently, he’s in the middle of bringing you up to date on the latest gossip in his workplace that you’ve been waiting to hear an update from. James is, as usual, using everything he can get his hands on—chopsticks, the few empty dishes on your table, paper napkins, the table itself—to recount to you what he witnessed as best as he could. 

Slightly out of breath from all the enthusiastic talking, James pauses to take a sip of his water. Then, when he continues, he raises a bowl of the steaming hot soup up to his lips. But the hot steam causes his glasses to fog, and he cuts himself off in the middle of his storytelling. 

“—Oh. Well, dammit. Now, I’ve gone blind.” 

You chuckle into the glass of water you’re drinking, eyes trained on James’ fogged up glasses, and the massive, goofy grin on his face as he, too, laughs at his unfortunate situation.

But he’s nothing if not dramatic about it first.

James sighs, exaggerated on purpose, though the smile is still plastered onto his lips. “Ah, well there you have it. The light of my life, laughing at my own expense. How it pains me!” 

You roll your eyes affectionately at his little act, setting the glass of water down in front of you. “Oh, I’m so sorry for laughing at you, my love. Will you ever forgive me for my grave mistake of doing so?”

Your boyfriend, still sporting his foggy glasses, tilts his head slightly to the side as he rubs his chin in thought, feigning consideration. 

“Hmm, well, if you’re offering to compensate me in some way… I have a few suggestions,” James smirks.

You let out a snort of laughter. “Of course, you do.” He only chuckles in response, only deciding now to take his glasses off and get the fog out before he’d actually go blind. James was already bordering on the line of being legally blind, and he’ll be damned if he unintentionally made his eyesight worse by something so stupid as letting it get foggy, and refusing to clean it up after.

Most of all, though, he strives to maintain his eyesight as it is right now so he could keep seeing you in all of your loveliness. 

“Crap,” Your boyfriend frowns, stilling as he looks down at the white dress shirt he was currently wearing. Miraculously, it was still spotless. You supposed he was looking down at some spot where he’d finally managed to drop some food on when he continued. 

“I can’t clean my glasses with this,” James says, his frustration clearly evident with the adorable pout decorating his lips. You couldn’t help but smile fondly at the sight of it. 

“Technically, you’re not supposed to clean your glasses with your shirt, Jamie.” 

He grumbles under his breath. “I know that, duh.”

Then, he pauses briefly, and starts looking around the table for a clean paper napkin. “But I don’t really bring the case and the cloth with me anymore because I wear ‘em all the time anyway.” 

You sigh from exasperation. “Then it’s your own fault that you can’t clean your glasses right now,” You replied, reaching over the table to take his glasses from him.

James was already halfway through another defensive reply when he felt his glasses be taken away from his grasp. 

“Hey, what are you—“

Wordlessly, you start cleaning the lenses of his glasses up with a small, seemingly soft cloth you’d brought out from your handbag. It catches him off guard, and his heart pitter-patters with the feeling he always gets when he sees you for the first time after being apart for so long, or when you kiss him silly in your slightly bolder moments. 

As if it was just natural that you were doing this for him, you continued. “I mean, honestly, James. You’ve been wearing glasses for ages. You should know better by now.” 

He’s suddenly feeling a thousand different things, and thinking a thousand different thoughts, all at once. No, he wasn’t being dramatic this time. It was real. This was real. He was currently watching you, a literal angel sent from the heavens above and so lovingly bestowed upon him as his lover, clean his very own glasses for him. 

Just for him. Like, what?

So, maybe James was being a little dramatic. All you were doing was clean a pair of glasses anyway, there was nothing groundbreaking about it. You weren’t down on one knee and asking him to marry you. 

No, no. That wasn’t it. Actually, he may as well propose right then and there. This simple, yet so warm and thoughtful, gesture of yours had single-handedly made him fall deeper in love with you, so much so that he feels it strongly, he’s starting to think it’s not just the spice of the brothy soup you’ve both been sharing that’s making him feel a little woozy, and emboldened. 

“Marry me,” James blurts out with a breathless, almost dreamy sigh. 

“Sorry, what?” 

His heart kind of drops to his stomach at the nonchalant tone in your words, taking it in an entirely different context than yours. But James knows you really hadn’t heard him, of course. It was more like a murmur than anything that had come out of him. 

He suddenly falls over his words, increasingly getting flustered as you hand him back his glasses. He takes it with slightly trembling hands, prays that you don’t notice, and puts it back on in a rush. 

Once a much clearer sight of you finally comes into his view, James suddenly forgets how to function like a normal human being. Instead, he just stares at you in silent, but unabashed awe. 

“Er, James?” 

“Er.. yes, love?” 

“Are you alright?” 

“What? No. Yeah. M’fine.” He replies at once, mashing all the words in one quick breath. 

“O…kay,” You say, clearly suspicious of his suddenly odd behaviour. “What were you saying earlier? Couldn't catch it, really.” 

“Bury me," James answers, unblinking. "I said, ‘bury me.’” 

“‘Bury you?’” You clarify in a surprised huff of laughter. “Why would I do that?” 

Because I almost proposed to you and nearly put you in the hot seat. 

“Because this broth is just so good,” James punctuates his answer with a quick sip from his bowl of the aromatic, spicy beef broth that he’d been wanting to finish since a while ago. Before–well, before he suddenly felt like marrying you on the spot. 

A beat passes as you try to piece your boyfriend’s vague statements together. “You.. want me to bury you… in the soup?” 

“Yep,” He confirms. “I want you to bury me in the soup.” 

“James,” You chuckle. The corners of James’ lips twitch upward like a reflex reaction to the sound. “I am not burying you in hotpot. That’s ridiculous!” 

“I don’t care. I mean, since when am I not ridiculous?” 

You nod your head thoughtfully. “Okay, true.” 

James continues. “It’s just so good that I wanna take it with me to the afterlife. Heck, I think I’m even gonna ask for its hand in marriage right now.”

Way to go, Potter. Real subtle.

He foresees the teasing comment in your smirking lips. This time, he doesn’t know how to feel. On one end of the spectrum, he kind of wants to throw caution to the wind and kiss you until you forget about teasing him altogether. But on the other side, he’s resigned to his fate; and besides, it’s not like he doesn’t enjoy the added attention, anyway. 

“Oh, so you’re just gonna ask for its hand in marriage right now? Is that it?”

“Yes. That’s exactly what I just said.” 

“So what am I to you now?” 

“The love of my life,” James answers in a heartbeat, shrugging nonchalantly as if the answer was common sense. “Why are you asking this?” 

“Well, since you’re marrying this array of—“ You gesture around your table of various dishes of Chinese cuisine, emphasizing the boiling pot of soup in the middle. “—well, our dinner, I figured I must be out of the picture by then.” 

Your boyfriend’s jaw drops, gasping in mock-horror as he clutches his chest dramatically with his hand. You bite your lip to trap the giggles that threaten to erupt from your mouth. 

The two of you continue to tease and play along with each other for the rest of your time at the restaurant then. All the while, James becomes more aware of the little box sitting in his drawer back at home, containing the beautiful diamond ring that he’d bought on the very same day he’d seen it for the first time.

It made him think of you just as quickly as how you, who wordlessly cleaned his glasses for him, made him think of proposing on the spot. 

can i just say that this relationship is the kind that i want 4 myself ,,, fuck 😭 anywayyyyy thank u sm for reading! likes, reblogs, n comments are always appreciated <3

[afyrian]

HII CONGRATS IM A NEW FOLLOWER!!

can I request 🌾☁️ for Shoyo? (Make sure you take care of yourself or I’ll find you 🫶🏾)

a (crush)ed drink shoyo hinata x fem!reader (fluff) m.list | wc: 656 | prompt: timeskip + 'mmh so the weather's nice'

    biting your nail, you stand by the front door, staring at your phone. the little bicycle's icon moving throughout the app, getting closer and closer to your apartment building. going to a restaurant and ordering with what poor portuguese that you have sends your blood pressure soaring. so you've found yourself ordering more food than necessary, just to avoid those moments.

  pacing quietly, you reload the page, practicing your basic portuguese vocabulary. muito obrigada echoes through your head, little whispers coming from your lips as you practice the pronunciation. "uh- cheiro está deliciosa.." it doesn't sound quite right as it leaves your mouth, sounding better in your head.

  looking back at your phone, you notice that the bike icon has arrived at your building. a little sentence at the bottom stating that he's in the building and delivering it. shaking your hands, you let out a sigh, closing your eyes and letting the cool air of your apartment relax you. 

  your heartbeat slows until you hear someone out in the hallway, apologizing in broken portuguese. realizing it's likely your delivery man, you shove your phone into your pocket, awaiting the knock on the door. one second.. two seconds.. time slows as a rhythmic knock resonates in the room. putting on a brave face, you unlock the door and twist the handle until it's open.

  there stands an orange-haired man holding a bag of food in one hand and a crushed cup in the other, "i'm- uh disculpe. you're bebida... esmagado."

  between the broken portuguese, you can hear what you believe to be eastern japanese. a sort of country twang in his voice. a sense of peace washes over you, "wait, i'm sorry, do you know japanese?"

  immediately it's like a light bulb has gone off, an epiphany resting between his ears. his eyes light up like you’ve never seen in a person before, a large sigh leaving his shorter stature. “yeah! i am! oh wow, i can explain this better then! it’s really sunny right now and i had my sunglasses off for a second.. just a second. and it got right into my eyes where i then fell over,” your delivery driver purses his lips, holding out the bag of food that is still intact.

  “mmh so the weather’s nice then? okay, it’s okay! really, i was just practicing ‘muito obrigada’ over and over, so the good and bad surprises equal out,” your free hand grabs the bag from his, your other hand preoccupied with playing with the hems of your shorts. 

  he gives you a warm smile as you take it, your hands briefly grazing each other, “i actually took this job in hopes of learning more portuguese! it is definitely helping, when the order delivering is easy..”

  “actually!” your delivery driver pulls out his phone, ignoring the slight amount of awkward tension in the air, “i can give you my number and we can learn together!”

  maybe he’s more used to the extroverted attitude of the people who surround him, but you immediately notice your palms sweating. the thought of getting to know someone new in a country that you’re still uncertain in makes you feel nervous. however, you can’t help but feel the energy he exudes, the warmth that radiates from him.

  “well shouldn’t i know your name first? you do know mine, from the app,” you bite your lip, holding back the playful smile that wants to appear.

  something about him sends a spark within you, heat traveling throughout your body. you don’t know what to call it, a crush? an infatuation with a man who has the attitude for the ages. “it’s hinata, hinata shoyo! it’s a pleasure to formally meet you!” he holds out his phone, number written across the screen.

  you smile genuinely this time, unable to hold it back any longer, “well, nice to formally meet you hinata, i’d love to learn portuguese with you!”

a/n: thank you for requesting anon!! i loved doing this <33 i did end up taking a very short break but it was great, also if the portuguese sucks i’m so sorry

[dangopango00]

ABYSS RAZOR W LOVE LANGUAGES

Abyss Razor x gn reader

Pt 1 | Pt 2

A/N: I was gonna do loser so hcs but i keep getting annoyed bc i wanna improve my writing but dk what to do bye ANYWAY I JUST CAUGHT UP WITH THE ANIME AND OUEUEU 😭😭😭😭 Im down bad even more they animated the scenes so well hes so kewt

Mostly not established relationship outside of the “as you get closer” sorry im a sucker for the slowburn also oh my god i have to make this two parts why is it so long ill write part two laterrer

GIVING From best to worst (more utc)

1. Acts of Service:

This is his specialty for sure; he just feels as if he has to be useful to you and if he isn’t then you won’t want him anymore. Acts of service are the only thing he can do without stammering or messing up in some way and it’s the only one he’s confident with too. It comes naturally to him tbh he:

- Reminds you of things you need to do even if you only mentioned it to him once in passing

- Brings extra materials or snacks with him if you often forget to bring those things

- Organizes your stuff if he notices your bag and/or your room is messy

- ALWAYS asks if you need help with anything and will do that even if u just tell him to relax he’d instead start trying to help YOU relax

Even as he gets more comfortable with you, excessively partaking in acts of service is something he just can’t shake which isn’t a bad thing! Its his love language afterall, but you just wish he’d stop worrying about if he’s being useful enough and just do what comes naturally. With more reassurance and time he will eventually start to slow down more though.

2. Gift Giving:

I think his gift giving usually comes with his acts of service like bringing snacks. He also just gives you a lot of small gifts because he wants you to know how much you mean to him but he really can’t put it into his words and even if he could theres no way he could articulate it out loud. Some things he gives you includes:

- Origami— I feel like origami is sth he does when he’s bored but even so, he puts the utmost love and care into each of his creations so giving them as gifts is sth reserved for the people closest to him

- Snacks— This one is simple he just cares about u and gets concerned if it seems like u aren’t eating enough or if ur hungry but without food

- A Deck of Cards— ODDLY SPECIFIC but I feel like he’d want you to have one so you and him can play cards even if he forgets his. I think even though he usually plays for Abel he does really enjoy physical games like cards and dominoes etc. like playing cards is how he bonds with people

- Accessories— Now this is RARE bc to him this is reallll bold but under the right circumstances he will give you things like earrings if your ears are pierced or a bracelet or charm (MOST likely the far latter). He sees a lot of accessories that remind him of you and its a little ridiculous, he’ll buy them but because it’s very bold he either won’t give it to you and wait for the “right moment”, give it to someone else to give to you or just leave it somewhere in your room when he’s there

As you grow closer Abyss will get more comfortable with giving you bigger things and will lean more into the accessories when gift giving. He might even feel bold enough to give you the plush he won while koala snotting with Mash.

3. Quality Time:

I was gonna put this one at #2 but I had an epiphany. I fear in the beginning stages Abyss would definitely try to keep you at arms length because of his eye. Oh especially if you met him while he was wearing an eyepatch and didn’t know about his eye; in fact, he feels guilty because he feels like he’s tricking you by being around you at all. Not only this but he has to split his time between you and Lord Abel as well so. However he does feel a little selfish with you and he really does like you so he spends time with you when:

- In the Forest— Just being alone with you in the forest takes the weight of social pressure off of him. It’s almost like the forest is keeping a secret between you and him. He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not people would avoid you seeing you with him nor does he even have to think about his eye or if you’d accept it, he can just live in the moment and enjoy reading with u

- In Classes no one else he knows attends— Similar to the forest it’s like keeping a secret but this time it’s specifically because none of his friends are here to see him acting so selfishly.

- He’s Jealous— Now he wont say anything buttt when he’s jealous Abyss will stick to you like a bad habit although still keeping you at a short distance. He just feels like he needs to be with you atm don’t mind him.

- You Reassure Him— Similarly, when you assure him that you don’t mind his reputation or eye (if you know) it makes him want to be around you more and all of that day he’ll be around you more than usual. He’s so grateful just to have met you and for you to say all that? He’s over the moon; he almost feels like he can finally breathe freely

As time goes on he definitely gets insanely good at this considering he loves being around you and the only thing holding him back is his insecurity. I def think that once you’ve been dating a long time or married he clings to you like crazy and even in the beginning stages once he’s gotten comfortable with you he’d follow you like a lost puppy even though his behavior is more catlike lol

4. Physical Touch:

He’s not very good at touch I’m ngl he can barely form words around you let alone touch you 😭. BUT. He does sometimes put the moves on you without noticing and he does try his best. This would include:

- Playing with ur hair when you’re alone or fixing it if he notices it got a bit messed up

- Fixing/Tidying up ur clothes between classes if he notices sth wrong like you tying your tie wrong or if the way you tied your bow was a little crooked (idk why I just think he’d be insanely good at tying bows/ties I bet he ties Abel’s for him too that boy can NOT tie a tie without it looking a little goofy)

- Resting his hands on your back or shoulders when you hug him. Now this seems like normal behavior but its A LOT for him ok his heart is pounding but he really does enjoy being in your arms

- Patting your head awkwardly or holding your face (if he’s feeling bold) when you’re upset bc he doesn’t know what to do but all he knows is he wants you to feel better and that he misses your smile

As time goes on he slowly gets better with physical touch but honestly he gets better VERY slowly like even if he can handle your advances I’m not sure he’ll be able to initiate things like kissing until marriage LOL ok well thats a bit much but you’ll have to have been in a relationship for a while

(Also a silly little tidbit when he initiates physical touch he gets it from you. For example he holds your face because you’ve held his face before and he never felt more at peace so he wanted to give you that same feeling)

5. Words of Affirmation:

Well. Speaking words isn’t one of his strong suits especially to someone he’s infatuated with. HOWEVER his sincerity is unmatched when he does manage to say something. Usually when he speaks words of affirmation they aren’t direct words of love like “I love you” or anything like that but it is always very sweet. He says things like:

- “Thank you.” — He never stops thanking you and apologizing 😭😭 He just needs you to know that he knows he’s so lucky to have you and that he would never EVER take you for granted

- “It’s an honor” — He says this OFTEN everything he gets to do with you is an honor because he feels as though he doesn’t deserve you; he can’t give you all that you deserve yet you stick by his side with no hesitation? He feels blessed; even wonders if The Lord (tm) Abel has something to do with this. He’s just so happy and most of all, grateful

- “I’m so glad to have met you” — This is one that he often mumbles under his breath when you’re being sweet to him; his feelings just swell in his heart at that moment and he lets it slip from his mouth

- “I need you” — He only said this like one (1) ☝️ time but im running out of words ok ANYWAY he’d say this to you only in critical moments like in the heat of the moment if you had been badly injured and you’re just barely hanging on. Besides this under normal circumstances, he’d say this while asking for your forgiveness after he had been avoiding you for a long time out of insecurity and you’re mad at him

As time goes on he gets MUCH better with words of affirmation and has been consciously making an effort to say more because he doesn’t want you to ever think that he doesn’t love you or isn’t proud of you. It’s so often in your beginning dating stage that he’ll stutter something incomprehensible and then give up and try again later going, “A-about earlier…(incomprehensible stuttering)” (he’s trying to say I love you or I’m proud of you or something similar but he couldn’t quite find the words)

[kumezyzo]

any dad!sapnap headcanons ? i feel like he’d love his little family so much :,)

ofc i do!!! so i was gonna post sweet and cute bf!sapnap headcannons cause ove gotten three anon asks about them 😭😭 but this is quite literally what has been sitting in my wips for so long 😭😭 and it was part of the angst i was talkin about not too long ago. but there is no angst in this!!😁

this is incredibly long cause its mostly pregnant!reader. um yea... sorry its not really what you asked for 😭😭😭

and this fem!afab!reader and even tho ive thought about this as streamer reader, im not gonna do it like that cause this anon didnt ask for that 😌 anyway, this is dad/dilf!sapnap

enjoy! or dont.... :) m.list

when you first have a suspision of being pregnant, you tell bf!sapnap immediately.

"wait, you think youre pregnant?" he asks with a concerned look. you bit your lip and nodded, fidgeting with your hands.

"i know we're really young and if you think we're not ready, im okay with not keeping it. i completely get whatever you feel like doing, i just needed to tell you even before i knew for sure-"

"hey, hey," he cut you off and walked up to you, cupping your face. "relax, okay. we can figure it out when we know for sure."

bf!sapnap who holds your hand when youre waiting the three minutes after peeing on the test. both of your hearts racing but trying to keep it together for eachother.

the tension in the bathroom was cut when the timer on your phone goes off. you both jumped before laughing nervously.

bf!sapnap who immediately hugs you when you flip over the stick and the test comes out positive.

you feel your body go numb at the idea of a life growing inside of you. nick didnt know how to comfort you properly, whether you were completely devastated or happy. so he waited for your reaction.

"are you okay?" he whispered. it was almost as if you would run for the hills if he spoke at any level above something close to silence.

you nod, squeezing him tighter. completely refusing to let go of the only thing grounding you to the moment.

"what-" he takes in a deep breath. "what do you want to do."

bf!sapnap who realizes the nickname 'mama' is suddenly a lot more fitting than before. and he says it with pride.

"come here mamas..." "damn mama..." "can i get a kiss mama?" he literally becomes the 'hey mamas' meme

bf!sapnap who doesnt realize he is/will become a dilf until you're well into your pregnancy. he would just be admiring your beautiful pregnant glow, complimenting you, when you brought it to his attention.

"you look so good, mamas," he says to you dreamily as he gets up to hug you from behind. his hands going to run over your bump. "cant wait to date a milf."

you laugh and lean your head back to rest on his shoulder. "and i cant wait to date a dilf." he proceeds to have a mini existential crisis and epiphany

bf!sapnap who is completely stunned to find out you were having a baby girl. a strange sense of protection filled him as he came to accept the fact that he now had two important women in his life. and he knew if it came to it, he'd protect them with his life.

bf!sapnap who most likely wont run to the store at midnight for your cravings. but he will postmates it for you in the blink of an eye and wait with you until it gets there.

bf!sapnap who lets you have the complete decision of when to reveal your pregnancy to his viewers.

bf!sapnap who has hundreds of videos of you laying in bed, your belly proudly showing and visible baby kicks and punches stretching through your skin.

"holy shit, it looks like an alien," he says, pointing his phones camera at your seven month sized belly. you had both paused the tv in your room to admire the way your child seemed to try to break out of the confines of your body

"this feels so fucking weird," you laugh as you watch your belly with wide eyes. then you register your boyfriends words. "wait, what did you call her-"

soon dad!sapnap who cant stay still when youre going through inactive labour, just laying in the hospital bed.

bsf!dream and george that come to visit your baby and you. they cant help but admire her full head of wavy hair and green eyes.

dad!sapnap who tries to let you sleep when you two get home. when the baby wakes up at midnight, he tries to console her as fast as possible to let you sleep.

nick is standing, trying to rock her to sleep. the little girls crys resonating through the room. his heart breaking at every little gasp she took between wails.

you sat up in the bed tiredly. you looked over at your boyfriend who looked at you sympathetically. you stood up and walked over to him. you stood next to him and leaned your head on his shoulder, watching your little girl scream her little head off.

"lemme hold her," you say with a yawn. he sighs and gently passes her over to you. he set her in your arms and almost immediately she stopped crying. you sughed once you realized her eyes were wide open and looking around. "come on baby, you can go back to sleep," you whisper to her.

nick watched you with a drowsy smile. and as you were able to get your baby to go down, he realized how this was his knew life. and he was comfortable.

it was mostly pregnant reader and thats not really what the anon asked for 😭😭 im sorry i just wanted this posted😭 if you want I'll make a pt.2 with him as an actual dad i guess? and help me come up with a name for this child please. -Nony

[stormyoceans]

Was it exactly the same writing team that did the first 9 episodes? what prevented them from separating the two of them, but for them to keep in touch with each other by sharing their successes via video link? it would be much better and the trope of love at a distance is much better than the trope of let's break up, because this is the laziest explanation for the whole mess. only "be my favorite" avoided this shitty twist. no, this trope really needs to be excluded from the plots of all lacorns of 11 episodes if the creators are not sure how to make a drama out of the blue, or if they are not sure that it will not look cheap on the screen. God, this is such bullshit. It's been so long, but I'm still angry about this twist. it wasn't the sudden epiphany that bothered me (okay, hope, and all that, I get it, okay), but fucking this cheap and completely unnecessary move… I'm shutting up, I'm sorry, Monica.

https://x.com/Itsjuzm3/status/1836848070639640725

ON GOD IM SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY THE UNIVERSE NEEDS TO SEND ME BACK IN TIME AND TELEPORT ME INTO THAT WRITERS ROOM SO I CAN HOLD EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THERE AT GUNPOINT LIKE YEAH A CHOICE HAD TO BE MADE AND Y'ALL CHOSE THE WORST FUCKING OPTION ✋😭

and please don't apologize anon, my inbox is always open if any of you needs a space to vent, either about life or a show, and when it comes to last twilight i feel the exact same way as you, so really, don't worry about it. i honestly admire the people who like the last two episodes of last twilight, because god knows i've tried but i just cannot make my peace with them, and this interview only proved that i have to accept the fact that unfortunately it will never happen. it's not even about day regaining his sight, because not only i feel like i cannot judge on that matter as someone who doesn't have a disability, but either way they would have made morkday break up and not even contact each other for years, and that's what my main problem is, both narrative and character-wise

'and with that choice, one character inevitably ends up feeling heartbroken' <- like this line is the ultimate proof that i simply cannot see things the same as them, because to me there never were only two choices – either morkday breaking up and not seeing each other for years, or staying together and having day feeling like he was being pitied and keeping mork from having his own life - but there always was a secret third option that would have made much more sense with the development of the characters: have them part but be together, have them build their own life but still have each other be part of it

also that last part about day's mom upsets me so much because they keep saying that day didn't want to be pitied but god fucking forbid they gave us a moment where he turned around to his mom and told her 'i do not need p'mork or anyone else to take care of me i can take care of myself'. and really, they needed years for day and his mom to have that conversation about love?????? wouldn't have made much more sense to have it even just a couple of days after the break-up??????

idk i really just could go on for days talking about why this part in particular doesn't make sense to me and actively made me dislike the ending, but i feel like i've already been way too negative so im gonna stop here

just know i feel the same anon and that im sending you all the hugs!!!!!!!!

[spctrsgf]

bounties + hunters ● encounter two

prev ● next

summary: Jakku and paranoia. Paranoia and Jakku. Not such a great pair, especially with all the sand dunes. Right?

word count: 2.3k

warnings: language, canon type violence, mentions of blood

a/n: im so so so so sorry for how long this took me to write, i hit a bit of a block when trying to get the story up and running, apologies about that !!

It’d been a month since you’d last seen him. You’d been counting.

It’s not like you’ll ever see him again, really: the universe is so big that it would take an epiphany of perfect moments to get the two of you to meet again. He could be anywhere by now, Hoth or Tatooine or some desolate planet in the Outer Rim. 

Yet, it’s like you missed him or something, or maybe you’re just tired, but you swear you keep seeing him out of the corner of your eye. You can hear his modulated voice at the booth to your left, ordering some food for himself or maybe something to place in that floating metal orb he has. Does he even still have that thing anymore?

But he’s not, of course. You whip your head around so fast you must’ve pulled more than a few muscles, but he’s not there. Just the booth, the merchant stationed at it, and an empty vat of space where you wished he’d be standing. 

Playing it off was harder than it looked: having to say you thought you heard music or something distracting was not as easy as words made it seem. You’re sure there was some sort of weird look strung between the two merchants you’d been between that one time on Tatooine, they probably even gossiped about it after you’d left.

Honestly? It was kind of tiring. After a few days living in constant paranoia, you were convinced you were schizophrenic or something along those lines. Another week or two taught you not to turn every time you thought you saw the light hit his beskar helmet, and to turn slower if you couldn’t quite stop that urge.

You’d curbed the urge twice during your long walk to your next bounty today, and the pep in your step is a sign of how proud you were, because you were definitely not thrilled to be walking this long and far. It’d been difficult to watch your six, but you made it work. Sort of.

Your hand came up to pat the linen that wrapped itself around your arm, covering the scar beneath it. On your last hunt, your very aversion to the delusion cost you a slice along the ripple of your bicep. It’s a careful balance; when to jump into attack and when to walk away like there was nothing you’d seen at all.

You gaze at the stretches of sand dunes ahead of you, really cursing the fact that you didn’t carry a speeder in your ship nor rent one from the town you’d left your ship in for its next tune up. The sweat rolls down your back, soaking the fabric of your undershirt and pooling at the overshirt wrapped tightly around your waist. You bring your hand up again to swipe at the condensation on your forehead, pushing your hair back from your face to cool yourself down as quickly as possible. 

The burn laps at the muscles in your legs as you edge on for two hours in the unrelenting beat the sun plays on your shoulders, but you push on nonetheless. You grit your teeth and stumble up and over the next sand dune, pulling out the tracking fob to see the ever blinking red light strumming its tune of disappointment in your lack of enthusiasm. “Stupid fucking bounty,” you grumble aloud, unbothered to filter your thoughts in the confidentiality that no one could hear you in the mounds upon mounds of sand. “Had to be in the middle of fucking nowhere on the shittiest planet with the shittiest fucking terrain where the fucking sun can drag it’s bitch ass nails into my fucking back!!!”

“Well, you’re really angry.”

You don’t turn. Your steps don’t even falter: you don’t fall for it, not when you’d resisted the quicksand your brain had set for you to fall into. You turn slightly to the left to more accurately trek towards your bounties location, shaking your head to clear the illusion from your head. He’s not there, The rational, beskar hard side of your brain screams. Don’t turn around. That’s not him, he’s gotta be on some weird planet, not here. He’s not behind you, that’s not a spark of beskar in your peripheral, the drawl of his voice isn’t there, don’t fall for it—

A hand is on your shoulder now. In the split second before you react, your brain teeters on the precipice of it, pondering the implication that it could be him. Time reaches near standstill in the moment of hope, of the dream that you actually would get to see him again. Wouldn’t that be crazy? Somehow, in some pitiful way, your paranoia brought him back to you. Maker, the possibilities could be endless. Maybe you could even strike up a deal to find out more about him, maybe even get him to let you tag along on his travels. It’d be quick, you’re quite good with negotiation. 

But it’s gone all too soon, you're out of the clouds back in real time and doing exactly what you’re trained to do: fight.

Words extend themselves towards you, but you don’t give them a fucking second. Your elbow is ramming backwards into the figure behind you, and you're turning to kick in their knee without even registering the pain nor the hard surface you rebounded against. You’re halfway through your kick before the person is able to catch up and recover from the impact of your move, quickly swinging their leg outwards and letting your weight fall forward with the lost contact. 

Their hands are grabbing your shoulders before you can get a face full of the grain below you, and you yelp in frustration, not because you can’t eat some of that godforsaken sand but because you refused to turn around when you heard something and nearly suffered more damage because of it. Your yelp knots into somewhat of a battle cry as you shove yourself up and out of their grip to attack again, angry and disappointed and really fucking tired.

“Hey,” Your attacker tries again, grip turning to steel on your arms. “It’s me!” You yelp, adrenaline overcome by the pain induced by the squeeze of their rough gloves on your bandage and therefore your cut. “Get off me, you fucker!” You growl, finally looking up.

The anger drains from you in a second, dissipating into the billion tiny grains of sand that caved around you. 

“I’m sorry.” He removes his hands from your arms but hovers them near as if to catch you if you were to run. 

You blink once, twice, three times, and then you turn. “No. Nope!”

“Where are you going?” He swings out to grab you, but you’re already out of reach.

“NOPE!” You yell into the slight breeze. “You don’t get to trick me! Not today! He’s not there, that’s just you being tired and–” the word twists sour on your tongue before launching out in a jut of disgust. “Missing him.”

He’s in front of you now. How the fuck did he move so fast? “What’re you talking about?”

You bump into the beskar covering his chest, and the grunt of frustration you expel stems from both the pain of hitting it and the fact that he was actually standing in front of you. 

“Hey.” His voice grounds your fraying mind. 

You brush your hair from your face again. “Hi.”

“You sound tired.”

“Thanks. What a kind compliment.” You’re brushing past him again with a snarl.

“That’s– that’s not what I meant.”

“Is it not?” You whirl on him. “Are you questioning my ability to speak Basic, huh? Wanna try Jawaese?” 

“No, I just meant–” His huff is accentuated by the modulator in his ever so shiny helmet. “I’m making this worse, aren’t I.”

A smile cracks your facade of impartiality. “A little.”

“I’m sorry.” His head bows ever so slightly.

“It’s okay. I’m giving you a hard time.”

Silence drapes a curtain over the both of you, doting the space static and the air between you even more hot than it already was in the middle of the desert. You study the Mandalorian out of the corner of your eye, wondering if he had some sort of air conditioner underneath all that armor. Maybe the beskar cooled him down. That’d be fucking sick. You note mentally as you start to trek towards your bounty. At least you think you are.

“Do you even know where you’re going?”

You scoff. “Of course I do.”

“Coordinates?”

“I checked already.”

“Check again.”

You do what he says with a grunt. “They moved like .2 miles. Not a big deal.”

“That’s like an extra 40 minutes.”

“My tactics work. Leave me be.”

His helmet tilts towards you, rebounding the light of the sun straight into your eyes. “Mine are fas– oh.”

You wave him off as he tilts his head back to its resting position. “Here,” You slide behind him and to his other side. “All better.”

A nod is the only response you get, and then the silence is ever present again. 

“So,” You burst the bubble this time with almost a gasp of breath. “What do I even call you?”

“Do you need a name?”

“I’d like one, but no. Only if you’re comfortable.”

He’s silent, and you think he won’t answer your question, but then– “Most people call me Mando.”

You shrug. “Works for me.”

Mando. Maaaaaaaando. Mandooooooooo. Mando. Mandoe. Your brain reverberates the newfound information off the walls of your brain, tethering it into your head and every inch of memory that was him. 

There was something so vulnerable about the confession, like some emotion you couldn’t quite place dripping from each word that came out of his mouth. Or whatever he uses to speak, you can’t really tell. You get the impression that he doesn’t really interact with anyone long enough to share anything like a name. It’s an honor, honestly: to have that knowledge.

“Why’re you here?” 

Mando dips his head ever slightly to the side, telling you everything you needed to know.

“Bounty. Got it.”

You nod into the silence, slowly acclimating to it. You curb the desire to ask more questions, taking into account what little information you had about interacting with Mandalorians. 

They didn’t like to talk, and when they did, it was curt and straight to the point. You had just met Mando once before, and he was far from comfortable with you. You respected the lack of words, respected his decision to stay silent.

Jakku’s sun makes its presence known again as it tints the tips of your shoulders red, and you envy the cover Mando has on his own shoulders. Sun cover and maybe an air conditioner? Smart. Soon enough, you’re approaching the bounty’s location and the doom of your situation slaps its dirty hand right in front of you. 

You stop in front of the small town, double checking the fob as you lean into the shade of a building. Mando stands some six feet away from you, statuesque and still. You look up at him, curious as to why he hadn’t departed already. You were no expert on the way he worked— yet— but you had a feeling that he wasn't the type to hesitate.

He’s not moving. And frankly? It’s quite unnerving. You can’t pull the emotions he’s feeling out from underneath the helmet, you can’t analyze the way he’s standing because he’s holding himself with no emotion at all.

All of a sudden, he turns and faces the town, still stuck in the no emotion stance. Your brows furrow as you try to process the abrupt movement. It’s not unnatural, the movement, yet it still ruffles your feathers. What is he doing?

You’ve memorized each thread, every dip of the material in his cape, and he’s still standing there. You could probably tell someone how many inches wide his helmet is, how many dents there are in the shoulder pad on his right shoulder. You’re half through figuring he was dead before the implications of that situation draw you back into the present. You shift from one foot to another, and then start past him. A nod is given to as your steps pull you past.

A grip on your arm has you stopping short, not like you really wanted to go anywhere at all. Despite that fact, your shoulders hunch up in somewhat of a flinch, causing Mando to release your arm as quickly as he had grabbed it. “Wrong arm?” The concern laced in his voice bubbled in your stomach. “No, uh-” You babble. “You’re fine.”

He nods almost absently. 

“Did you need something?” leaves your lips before you can stop it.

“The inn. There,” He points to a slightly dusty sand structure a few buildings down. “That’s where they usually are.”

“How do you know they aren’t in a house or something like that?”

“Out this far? They wouldn’t even try that hard.”

You snort. “I hope you’re right.”

He shrugs.

You turn and take a few steps into the village before you turn back, watching him walk quietly. “Mando?” His cape whips as he comes to face you again. 

You smile, accentuating it with a tip of the head. “Thank you.”

His head tilts in response, and as he turns, you swear you hear him mumble you’re welcome.

You turn around once again, and head into the village. Your smile peels into a grin, and the pep in your step is ever evident as you trek into the hotel lobby. Even as you work to take care of your bounty, happiness strums a happy tune, battles the burn in your calf and the beating of the sun.

Four. 

There are four dents in his shoulder pad on his right shoulder. Two on his left, but who’s counting?

[nerves-nebula]

I’ve never really recognized it as “religious trauma”, but I’m nodding along to ur list. It’s just kinda stuff that happened. Except for the few things that grown me was kinda at like ‘that seems a little bad actually-‘

I remember being 7 and first thinking what if God isn’t real as I was trying to sleep. So it’s like midnight and I’ve just had this world breaking thought that immediately had me spiraling down two trains of thought: Im going to hell for thinking that, and, what if he isn’t what the fuck. So of course I’m freaked out and I’m pretty sure child me needed a fucking hug or some assurance or something, so I went to my parents room, which woke up my mom. At which point I realize, I can’t tell them my actual problem because it was a thought I was ashamed of having, and I didn’t want to run the risk of getting in trouble for some nebulous comfort that was frankly unfathomable cus my parents suck. So I just said felt sick, and took “sorry” my mam gave me as comfort enough (which in hindsight is not a great response to that), and just had to go back to bed with all that. That shit stuck with me. I remember at Sunday school, maybe months or a year later, when one of the teachers said doubt was put in our minds by the devil, I was so fucking relieved.

And there’s the fact that I didn’t know other religions were a thing. I didn’t know there were other blends of Christianity. I lived in a small town and I just had never been touched by that concept until I moved at 11, and one of our religious education modules was on Judaism. Everyone else was just learning customs and calendar stuff, and I was having a whole epiphany. I was so confused until halfway into the lesson, and I realized they were talking about not being catholic. I literally searched the library for a book that would explain this arcane concept. And it was just such a mind blowing experience. I was couldn’t comprehend why no one had ever mentioned other religions if there were so many. And how did it make any sense that there were so many. The differences aren’t subtle. Point is, it was a whole thing.

If I hadn’t moved I would have been made to do my confirmation that school year. And that’s not okay! The whole point of that sacrament is that you’re choosing Christianity, like your old enough and conscious enough to make that choice. Adult in the eyes of the church and all that. Baptism but leveled up. But they make children do it. Unrelated, but when I first learnt about it I was 8, and there was a girl in my class that never had to religion with us. Which was the weirdest thing to me at the time, because sure there were people that didn’t have to do Irish or English, because they had different first languages. But religion? I always found that so weird. But she literally just. Wasn’t catholic. And I just couldn’t conceptualize that. It didn’t occur to me that could be an option.

Jesus, raising kids with a religion is brainwashing of the highest order and no one can change my mind on that. Sorry for rambling at u, that post just made me think.

If I hadn’t moved I would have been made to do my confirmation that school year. And that’s not okay! The whole point of that sacrament is that you’re choosing Christianity, like your old enough and conscious enough to make that choice. Adult in the eyes of the church and all that.

my girlfriend said this exact same thing when i was forced to be confirmed. said it didnt count but tbh that feels like a cop out. like its something ive been forced to do, like a spiritual violation or something, it still happened. but, eh, whatever

Jesus, raising kids with a religion is brainwashing of the highest order and no one can change my mind on that.

not sure i agree with you here, but i can agree that a lot of the ways kids are raised within Christianity is cult-ish and brainwash-y and bad.

[reggies-eyeliner]

𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐏𝐒 (CLOSED)!

OPEN 2/26-2/24<3!! (5 SLOTS LEFT! [2/19/23])

I have not done matchups in ages but THEN I WATCHED Lockwood & Co?? I had this whole epiphany like. WRITING THESE WERE SO FUN HELLO?? matchups will be open from 2/16-2/24! please read through all of the rules :D If a submission doesn't fill out all the requirements, I am more likely to push it off until later, so please make sure to read it carefully! I SWEAR IM NOT GONNA MAKE IT TOO COMPLICATED OKOK LETS DO THIS VAMANOS&lt;333!

(AND YES PLATONIC MATCH UPS ARE OPEN FOR MY AROSPEC/QPR/PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP LOVING BABES GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW)

THIS IS LIKE A BUFFET. PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT BABES MWAHAHAHA

FANDOMS (up to two*):

across the spider-verse*

most animated movies (httyd, bh6, rotg^^)

lockwood & co*

stranger things

julie and the phantoms

avatar: the last airbender

the legend of korra

rottmnt**

voltron: legendary defenders

haikyuu

* i've only watched the series so far + i'm about to start the comics/books (and very excited to omg) !! just an fyi that my pairings will most likely revolve more around the characters featured in the series IM SORRY I SWEAR I'LL GET TO THE BOOKS/COMICS ASAP

**exclusively platonic matchups preferred/qpr!

TYPES OF MATCHUPS:

the classic: submit in matchup information + get paired with (a) romantic partner(s)! in return for the matchup information, you will receive: a 1x3 moodboard, one song + a hefty list of headcanons + a mix-and-match randomized trope explanation! (ex: a blurb about sharing a bed, first time meeting, fake dating confession scene ; ~100 words!)

the Fave Homie(s)™: platonic matchups (my personal fave MWAHAHA)! you'll get paired with as many characters as you'd like<3!! in return for matchup information, you will receive: a 1x3 moodboard, one song + a hefty list of headcanons + incorrect quotes describing your dynamic between you and your found family/best bro<3

customized schedule: submit what your schedule looks like throughout any day of the week (up to two) + matchup information (platonic or romantic), you will receive: an hourly schedule on what life is like with said character i match you with + the aspects of your life with them! (ex: 8am, wake up by their side + they make you coffee blah blah blah), + a song for each moment of the day to describe your dynamic :D

MATCHUP INFORMATION:

name + preferred gender(s) to be paired with

preferred fandom (up to two are okay, but please let me know which one you'd like me to focus on more!)

platonic and/or romantic + polycule preference etc + preferred age group!!

you can include your sexuality if you'd like to (only if you want me to touch on the aspect on how your matchup will support you because. yeah<3)

giving + receiving love languages

hobbies, talents, things that make you you (think: if this wasn't in my life, how different would i be?)

mbti/zodiac (optional)

personality, how you handle difficult situations

what consist of a good memory for you

favorite songs + music taste/colors/any kind of aesthetics!!

anything that brings you comfort/anything that doesn't give you comfort (can be about a relationship or just in life :-D)

OTHER RULES?

preferably off anon! i'd love to talk to you more after the matchup submission as well MWAHHAHA<333 if you're planning on being anon, an emoji anon would be p cool so we can chat more!

as i'm also a busy student, i will prioritize school-- if you submit a matchup, please be prepared to have up to anywhere from a 1-14 day wait! i'll send you a message that i got your ask hehe

you should totally use a pick up line in my ask box i enjoy pick up lines so much.

OTHER THAN THAT MAN write as much/little as you'd like!

[ethernetmeep]

i seem to sometimes forget others hadn’t had interactions as a child like i did, hence why my discussion of childhood during lunch today was somewhat awkward.. because of my own faults, it seems. i had forgotten to realize my subject matter was socially inappropriate for the area. i, uh.. feel really bad about this. like, i am so fucking sorry bad. im still thinking about it, both the memories from young age & the cafeteria interaction, although primarily the memories..

i will, uh, separate this, because it’s definitely needed. don’t read this, it isn’t worth it. move along now, unless you crave to know about my adolescence and its awful properties

a wooden house, wooden bedroom. big bed, body pillow with various emotions on it. glow in the dark star stickers, various planets in the solar system hung from the ceiling. various items. a computer, colored pencils, comic of choice being worked on. most of them…. uhm… very.. explicit in nature.

i remember a character of theirs. a little girl. sunflower dress, horrible family. sent to an orphanage. feel sick at saying anything more. cute characters i liked, all eviscerated. its not their fault, inherently; they had a lot of things going on. definite abuse, at some point. still, the memories make me somewhat sick.

this was a person i cared about, swam at the beach with, drew art with. grew up with. we would play the recorder & be grimy & silly together.

yet, this person simultaneously showed me a jarring amount of sexual topics, nothing a young child should see to that extent— neither them, or me. they were two years or so older. we played on the playground and roleplayed about a fucking sex shop, for gods sake. i just now resurfaced the memory of [being shown something that should not be shown at age ten]. it makes me deeply, deeply uncomfortable.

i still remember sharing a cold miniature pizza & chicken tenders as a lunch with them. juice with water added to lessen the sweetness. adventure time in the background on the television. the fact their door lock got broken once because of our stupidity. an old dog they had.

i wonder if, by any extent, this friendship caused me to subconsciously be revulsed and uncomfortable by so many of these things. it probably did.. ever since knowing them, i haven’t looked at certain childhood objects the same. a certain pillow pet comes to mind, so do pillows in general…. would explain my distain for the items, when they aren’t the ones i know. would also explain the long time discomfort in the following things: taking a shower at someone elses place, changing at someone elses place, staying overnight in general at a friends house, sharing any kind of clothes, feeling as if in my sleep i’d be….

….oh.

……..oh.

...damn it. having this realization as of writing this makes it all the more horrible. it seems to explain my distinct hatred of touch with those who discomfort me, my lack of touch even with close friends unless its a hug, my distain for… so many things. my stunted growth in regards to relationships. ive been afraid, so afraid, terrified of the concept, not wanting to be hurt and to be helpless again; subconsciously, without even realizing it

it would also explain why i am so preferable to the concept of plushies instead of human people as things to hold. inanimate objects can’t hurt me, they can’t reach out of the shadows and hold you in a way you don’t want. would explain my dislike of quote, cuddling.

god, i’m… hahaha, [nervous laughter, not that of amusement.. i am very much not amused.] i did not realize id be having this epiphany today. or anytime soon. At all. god damn it.

well… if someone did read this, then they experienced a cruel read. im sorry. why am i sorry? i put a ‘dont read this’ sign! doesn’t matter, i’m sorry regardless.

[WHAT NOW? do i just go on with my day? i can’t, that feels odd. i need to make my friend their birthday piece.. i need to do so many things. i have so much to do, but i just got the biggest epiphany dropped like an anvil on my head… maybe thinking of people who were once nice to me will make me feel better…. think of friends & acquaintances & old friends & whatnot, to make me feel safe… peruse the archive i have of photos…]

[edit: i just did that. i feel significantly better. thank you, uhm… um…. what do i say….. ah, i will say friend, i like saying friend… even if its quite foolish, its trivial anyway…]

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert, Harry Anderson Egbert

Candy, page 38

ROXY: sup john

ROXY: long time no see

ROXY: well alright then pal

ROXY: i do believe u know the way to the living room

JOHN: yeah, yep.

JOHN: thanks.

JOHN: sorry for staring like an idiot.

JOHN: it’s...

JOHN: i just got done with a whole week of feeling weird about hanging out in my dad’s old house again.

JOHN: I kind of forgot to think about how it would be surreal coming back here, too.

JOHN: some kind of nostalgia whiplash, i guess.

ROXY: fair enough yo

ROXY: harry andersons out if u were wonderin

ROXY: hell scoot back home later so if you make it thru round 1 of awkward ex-family convos im happy to say you can be rewarded with another

JOHN: oh, cool.

JOHN: i’d like to see him, if…

JOHN: if it’s okay with both of you.

ROXY: ya we chatted bout it

ROXY: but like i said

ROXY: one thing at a time

ROXY: lets me n u tear this ol egbert/lalonde estrangement band-aid right the fuck off n see what we got goin on underneath it

JOHN: sounds like a plan.

JOHN: so, uh.

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently.

JOHN: and i’ve realized some things.

JOHN: some stuff that involves you and some that doesn’t, but all things i think you deserve to know.

JOHN: whew.

JOHN: ok lemme think where to start...

JOHN: you know how jake left jane?

JOHN: i mean, i assume you know.

JOHN: though, uh, no offense, but jane’s version might be...

JOHN: skewed.

ROXY: oh lmao nah i didnt hear it from janey

ROXY: harry anderson filled me in on wat he got thru the teen grapevine

JOHN: oh!

JOHN: are you guys not...

JOHN: nevermind.

JOHN: i’m sorry, i came to apologize for my shit, not pry into your business.

JOHN: we don’t have to talk about jane if you don’t want to.

ROXY: janey n me havent been super tight of late

JOHN: ah.

JOHN: what about politics not coming between friends and all that?

ROXY: lmao well turns out sometimes someones politics make it p clear what kind of friends they value

ROXY: or dont

ROXY: and idk sometimes people you used to like when you were a teen grow up to be assholes or w/e!!

ROXY: i think i was clingin to somethin just to prove to myself that i was doin stuff right

ROXY: ol rolal

ROXY: hella normal

ROXY: v good at sticking with friends

ROXY: the more i thought abt it the more i figured holdin on to that one thing made me lose out on some other shit

ROXY: u might relate

JOHN: haha, you got me there i guess.

ROXY: anyways

ROXY: im not tryna take up all ur big speech time w/ my stuff

ROXY: you were tellin me about how jake n janey finally went splitsways and how it gave you some kind of epiphany

JOHN: no, it’s cool!

JOHN: i’m glad to hear it.

JOHN: we can come back to your shit after my shit, maybe.

JOHN: but yeah, jake, he uh...

JOHN: he and tavros are living with me now.

JOHN: i think for the foreseeable future. we were expecting jane to have kind of a fit about it, but all we’ve gotten so far are some divorce papers.

JOHN: if she knows where jake is and she hasn’t had a drone fleet dispatched to nuke my house off the planet i think that’s a good sign she’s actually just letting them go?

JOHN: which is kind of surprising, but, uh. good, i guess.

ROXY: ok ill b the first 2 admit that janes turned into kind of a jerk lately but u no shes not actually like

ROXY: literally evil

ROXY: lol

JOHN: that’s debatable!

ROXY: sry to disappoint but janes just a person and you cant actually blame her for everything that went wrong in our marriage like i was her helpless thrall or somethin

JOHN: that’s not what i was saying...

ROXY: ok neither of us came here to argue about janey did we

JOHN: you’re right. let’s just not talk about her.

ROXY: yea

JOHN: anyway...

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how things got to be like they are.

JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it.

JOHN: i completed fucked up your entire life.

JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally.

JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault.

JOHN: but even before that...

JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level, and it’s what i did—

JOHN: or, well, what i didn’t do—

JOHN: that caused every stupid bullshit thing about the way this world is.

JOHN: none of this was supposed to be this way.

JOHN: honestly, it doesn’t feel right that we got married at all, does it?

JOHN: your life was heading in this whole other direction with callie, and i just...

JOHN: i dunno. i just kind of took that from you.

JOHN: i think i ended up taking a lot of decisions from a lot of people.

JOHN: everything took a backseat to what i wanted.

JOHN: whatever cosmic significance the lives here do or don’t have, all the pointless suffering i’ve created is... inhumane. and—

ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite there my man

ROXY: im sorry john ilu but this is some hot steamin horseshit

JOHN: what?!

ROXY: its some real jerkoff emoji stuff is all im sayin!!

ROXY: you think you choice mattered so much that no one elses could measure up?

ROXY: n then what

ROXY: did u get what u wanted?

ROXY: did your life end and the points got tallied and you came out on top or like what?

ROXY: still p much seems like were movin to me

ROXY: and you sure dont seem like ur winnin so wheres all this good shit you got that you gotta go around handin out apologies for?

ROXY: also damn dude while were at it!!

ROXY: u forgot to actually say sorry in that apology!

JOHN: no, i didn’t — i just meant...

JOHN: i’m sorry for fucking up your life, or making it not—

ROXY: i like my life!!!

ROXY: i mean it aint perf and i got my share of fuckups n mistakes in there but you dont get to tell me its fucked up

ROXY: or that it isnt real or somethin

ROXY: its mine!

ROXY: i mean i felt... somethin i guess

ROXY: but its not just you

ROXY: youve never been the only player in this game u kno

ROXY: do u not remember who all was there when this all kicked off?

ROXY: me n callie wouldna told u u had a choice if it was all just some meaningless bs

ROXY: its not like i was ever some master seer of all that ever was or will be but i do know a lil bit abt what coulda gone down if things were different

ROXY: and u know what

ROXY: i like the way things turned out just fuckin fine

ROXY: so maybe u could stop wastin precious eternity thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones not perfectly happy

JOHN: i just kept wanting to find ways to make everything make sense, you know?

JOHN: but maybe it just fucking doesn’t.

ROXY: i know we became grownups in a world built specifically n cosmically for us

ROXY: so i get wanting to find a pattern in everything

ROXY: but not everything has 2 b that deep

ROXY: n when u think abt it

ROXY: lookin at it that way, like evrythin has to be this elaborately purposeful heroic design to be worthwhile

ROXY: is actually p shallow

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: i’m sorry. it’s just so hard to not feel like a total asshole.

JOHN: maybe i’m not some grand vizier of destroying time and space or whatever.

JOHN: but we KNOW that there’s a canon timeline out there.

JOHN: and it seems really obvious to me that we aren’t in it anymore.

ROXY: so what

JOHN: “so what”???

ROXY: yea

ROXY: so what

ROXY: tf do i care that theres some other reality out there some1 arbitrarily decided was the “real” one

ROXY: whats that have to do with the life i have now

ROXY: what is there actually that makes this one mean less than that one to the ppl who r actually in it

JOHN: you never feel like it would’ve been better if things had gone a different way?

JOHN: magic or no, i could have done a lot differently, for you especially.

JOHN: stuck around, or... fuck.

JOHN: stayed out of your way to begin with.

JOHN: let you and callie do your thing, or do whatever it was you seemed to be headed off to do.

JOHN: i just didn’t expect it to be me, after...

ROXY: nah dont say that

ROXY: i mean i accept ur apology this time but

ROXY: theres obvs all kinds of ways shit coulda gone

ROXY: and tbh back then

ROXY: with her...

ROXY: mostly i think i just wanted to do stuff right

ROXY: not that i knew wtf that even meant lmao

ROXY: which was prob the problem lmao lmao lmao

ROXY: just like

ROXY: we had this big fresh as hell start at bein people!

ROXY: i had all these conflictin thoughts abt how to be me in the first place

ROXY: like what it meant to date a beautiful skull alien

ROXY: sexualitywise and genderwise and person in generalwise

ROXY: for a while there i didnt know if i wanted ppl to think of me as a woman at all

JOHN: ah, i didn’t know.

JOHN: well, i guess maybe i wondered?

JOHN: but the way young idiot me would have wondered, so not that deeply.

JOHN: and it seemed like you’d forgotten all about it when we got together.

ROXY: i hadnt forgotten about it

JOHN: do you want to talk about it...?

ROXY: i coulda told you then but i kinda felt embarrassed abt flip floppin with my identity i think

ROXY: mean it isnt like i grew up with big airquotes society tellin me what was right n wrong like u did

ROXY: so it wasnt any kind of shamefest

ROXY: just a lot of abstract hypotheticals wed only just started talking about and never got very far into

ROXY: just idk i thought i might do things one way but then i stopped hangin out with callie as much

ROXY: its not like i stopped thinkin abt it

ROXY: or her

ROXY: but it never rly came up with anyone else and i didnt rly feel like i could talk abt it with you so i never brought it up again

JOHN: i’m really sorry you felt that way, roxy.

ROXY: its ok its not ur fault

JOHN: but you don’t regret it?

JOHN: not going for that stuff, and instead just... marrying me?

JOHN: i’m not asking so you can absolve me, i’m just impressed.

JOHN: how do you not second guess every choice you make?

ROXY: i havent stuck my head in the timeline vortex like u have so i dunno what its like to see other options

ROXY: i just do things the best way i think to do em and then shrug n hope it works out?

ROXY: i dont think i can regret anything

ROXY: theres not only one right way to be me imo

ROXY: i like the me i am

ROXY: its not like i went n decided “actually hell ya love to be a woman n do all the shit on the woman checklist”

ROXY: i get that thats prob what it looks like outside of my own self but i dont care abt that

ROXY: sorry lol im not good at this whole explainin what transpires in my brain thing

ROXY: idk this life ive been livin gave me harry anderson

ROXY: that kinda outweighs anything else just for me personally

ROXY: n its not like i ever totally quit thinkin abt that gender stuff

ROXY: i just found a different way to work it out than maybe i was originally gonna

ROXY: i...

ROXY: but lmao john were just adults

ROXY: were not dead!

ROXY: idk i mean were only what... barely middle aged in regular human years?

ROXY: we got all kinds of hypothetical but still prolly finite eternity to work our shit out

ROXY: who tf knows

ROXY: its not like you figure out who you are when youre 23 and then the rest of ur whole life is just sittin back watchin ur shit fall apart or not

ROXY: i mean maybe thats been it for u so far

JOHN: haha. ouch.

ROXY: i just dont think im anywhere near done buildin those roxy self actualization train stops

ROXY: who the fuck can say how many more i got lined up

ROXY: same goes for u

ROXY: if youre willing to look at this life as more than a cosmically pointless dead end failure that is

JOHN: i guess...

JOHN: there’s literally nothing to do but keep moving forward.

JOHN: i may as well not be a big fucking downer about it if i don’t have to be.

ROXY: thats the spirit

ROXY: weve got a million billion lifetimes ahead of us john

ROXY: u dont even KNOW all the ways u got left to fuck up in!!

ROXY: hows that for some inspiration??!

JOHN: it’s...

JOHN: it’s pretty fucking inspirational, roxy.

JOHN: thank you for trusting me with this personal stuff.

JOHN: i know partly you were telling me all that to kick my sadsack ass, but i know you don’t talk about this kind of thing every day.

ROXY: to be real i hadnt even let myself think abt it every day

ROXY: so thanks for lettin me ramble at u out loud instead of just almost thinkin abt it once every few years

JOHN: i guess sometimes it takes hearing the same shit over and over until it sticks.

JOHN: that’s mostly an own on myself by the way.

ROXY: lmao were just rippin off those bandaids left n right over here

ROXY: a coupla professional issue discussers

JOHN: yeah, i’m frankly baffled by how fucking good we are at this?

JOHN: where was this when we sucked so hard at being married?

ROXY: buried under a shocking number of issues is my guess

JOHN: well, it’s nice to throw a few off, for once.

ROXY: feel free to communicate with me instead of spendin the next 300 years in a silent prison of your own making if u so desire

JOHN: hey harry anderson.

JOHN: it’s really, really good to see you.

JOHN: do you wanna go for a drive?

HARRY ANDERSON: yeah, dad.

HARRY ANDERSON: that could be cool.

[xxxairheadedangelxxx]

having pain induced emotional epiphanies while on the treadmill is somethin else

had an entire screaming match w RM in my head over how he is incapable of planning literally anything for himself which is why it seems so easy to find every little fault i have bc I am in charge of quite literally everything that keeps our lives running on a daily basis.

he was incapable of even just planning a trip for himself to visit his bf I had to fucking help him and make sure he had everything and walk him to the gate. Which do not get me wrong in concept I dont mind! Ive always been the doer, give me a thing that needs to be completed and I will do it and support you all the way!

its when you turn around and rip me to fucking shreds anytime something goes fucking wrong bc I am one person managing two peoples god damn lives while being frankly incredibly fucking disabled mentally and physically.

even better when those disabilities are treated like they dont fucking exist until someone can use it to martyr themselves bc they are just so big hearted for helping the crippled autistic idiot not fucking pass out in the middle of a crowded room. Or they took time out of their day to make sure I didnt have a screaming crying hyperventilating melt down at an event.

Nothing is ever wrong with me until it makes you look better. RM is like this. My mother is like this. Old friends were like this. I am absolutely perfectly fucking functional and have no excuse for being incapable at something until it makes you feel fucking good about yourself.

Im a burden. IU fucking get it I understand I do nothing but fucking burden the world around me by existing and wanting just a scrap of fucking accomodation you stupid cunt.

You want so badly to be the more sick, tortured, opressed minority that it can't even occur to you that maybe I have problems that impede my ability to literally fucking exist and that has kept me suicidal since fucking childhood. I know I have crippling all body pain, constant headaches, bones that are constantly fucking dislocated and a near constant inability to breathe but ur right that is absolutely nothing compared to your jaw pain that you gaver yourself and refuse to fucking fix and I have no idea how you feel of course Im so sorry.

I know I was incapable of completing school, damn near incapable of holding down a job, have a laundry list of processing/learning issues and a propensity to going fully nonverbal at the slightest provocation of stress but youre right I seem normal when I talk to people so you are way more fucked up than I am of course I am so sorry

fuck you. i fucking hate you and i fucking hate how i dont actually fucking hate you. I hate the person youve become. I hate the man who raised you for creating this disgusting putrid version of you.

[syndullqs]

𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — 𝒘𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓

summary — you’re a very physically affectionate person, and wrecker wants to be that way with you, but something holds him back.

warnings — gn!reader, tooth rotting fluff, established relationship

requested by — my love @starlit-epiphany

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍’𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓. wrecker was usually the physically affectionate type, the type to give you a bone crushing hug without you expecting it. you didn’t notice how wrecker seemed to distance himself, physically that is, from you. after a month or so of being in a relationship is when you picked up on it.

“it’s weird,” echo mused beside you in the cockpit, you stealing tech’s spot in the pilot’s chair. you weren’t moving, so you didn’t think it’d be that big of a deal.

“what is?” you inquired, picking up your head from the datapad in your hands to look at echo.

“wrecker,” echo noted, “he’s barely touched you since you declared yourselves official,” he was watching the larger batch member through the viewport. wrecker was helping hunter with something.

“and?”

“and, isn’t that normal for a relationship? especially with him?” granted, echo didn’t know all that much about relationships or anything intimate for that matter, but he was sure that physical intimacy was a necessity. you noticed too, how wrecker seemed to embrace his brothers and even strangers but he didn’t embrace you at all. you began to wonder if things were alright between the two of you, or if you’d done something wrong. you inhaled deeply, trying to extinguish those anxious thoughts before they took hold. as you looked back at wrecker, though, that anxiety made its presence known and it’s roots tightened its grip.

“i’m sure it’s nothing,” echo quickly added, seeing the look of distress on your face. you quickly sent him a kind smile before giving wrecker one last glance.

—

your day continued on. you read further into your book and helped omega with her aim with her bow. the sun was setting and the batch was making plans to eat at cid’s.

“i’ll be right there!” you shouted to them, walking back into the marauder. you didn’t realize that wrecker hadn’t been with them. so, when you stepped back out of the marauder with a jacket in hand, you cocked your head to the side.

“thought you’d be the first to be in there,” you teased. though, you kept echo’s comment from earlier in mind.

“nah, i wanted to walk with you,” he waved it off. you knew something was off, though. the air was thicker between the two of you, and you knew what it was from.

“wrecker,” you started, bringing his eyes up to meet yours. “why don’t you ever, i don’t know, hug me?” you felt odd asking your question like that, but ever since echo pointed it out you started to realize that yeah, wrecker wasn’t being his usual, touchy self.

“oh, i uh,” he scratched the back of his neck, “i didn’t want to hurt you,” he muttered. you had to refrain from laughing.

“hurt me? wrecker, you could never hurt me,” you chuckled as you stepped closer to him, reaching up and placing a hand on his cheek.

“well i didn’t know because you’re not an enchanced clone and i am so i was afraid of hurting you,” he rambled, but wrecker felt relief flood his chest. he’s been wanting to embrace you ever since you started dating. he just didn’t want to crush you to death.

“just because i’m not enhanced doesn’t mean i don’t like big hugs,” you smiled softly.

“good,” a grin spread across his lips as he wrapped his arms around you, picking you and spinning you around, a joyful laugh escaping your lips. he put you down, but kept his arms around you.

“you’d never hurt me wrecker, never,” you hummed into his chest. he gave you one last squeeze before removing himself, slinging an arm over your shoulder.

“let’s go get some grub,” he said excitedly, and you just laughed, walking with him to get some food.

THIS IS SO OVERDUE IM SO SORRY!! i hope you enjoy love!!

[parkerpeter24]

home alone

pairing ➳ peter parker x reader

w.c. ➳ 2.4k

warnings ➳ SMUT. 18+ content guys. unprotected sex (use a condom, kids), fluff, basically pwp, curse words, secret relationship (?)

summary ➳ although your family is conservative and doesn’t really love the idea of you having a boyfriend, with them being out of town there’s no one to catch you. yet somehow your first time with peter is interrupted by your mother.

no, real sex ain’t nothing like this right here 😭 but i hope you enjoy ehehe 🤍 i wrote this keeping in mind tasm!peter but i think it can be read for either of the three. also i am so sorry for being mia? my exams are almost here and i hate it

since your parents were out of town, peter suggested he hung around at your place for a change. your parents weren’t too fond of the idea of you having a boyfriend, you belonged to a rather conservative family, but if you were being honest you knew your parents would fall in love with peter parker as quickly as you did.

peter knocked earlier that evening with a bag of goodies in his hand and you hugged him as soon as you opened the door. now the two of you were cuddled on the couch, a blanket covering the two of you as you laid on top of him with his arms around your waist. your favourite show played on the tv and peter was running his hand up and down your back.

empty bowls of snacks were kept on the coffee table in front of you and even though neither of you had decided on the dinner yet, it was still pretty early in the evening and you were in no hurry.

as the show progressed, you got a little fidgety, with peter’s hands absentmindedly travelling to the small of your back until they were practically resting over your ass. peter noticed when your breathing started to become erratic.

“hey, everything okay?” he asked, not moving his hands at all.

“oh yeah, im uh, fine.”

you and peter hadn’t really got to the part where the two of you slept together. he had spent a night at your place without telling your parents but he’d left super early in the morning, even before you could wake up, so that was that, but you’d never thought about getting to the third base with peter. until now. it had been five months since you started dating and eventually the question of sex was to come into the picture, you just never thought it’d make you so nervous.

peter placed a quick kiss to the top of your head, “hey, look at me.” you looked up at him and you were pretty sure he read every thought going on inside your head, but his question seemed to oppose that, “what’s the matter?”

“i uh, was just thinking.”

“about?”

“about how we’ve never, you know, done anything…” you wished he’d understand what you wanted to say, but oh the boy was ever so oblivious.

“never done anything? what do you mean?” he chuckled.

“like, in bed.” you said. an epiphany ran through peter and his eyes widened, “i don’t mean that we have to, now, i just, i was thinking-”

“do you want to? now?” peter asked, his hands were now on your face, caressing your cheeks softly and pushing a strand of hair out of your face. the sudden sound of thunder cracking caught both your attention as you turned towards the tv, it had started raining in the show and the two of you looked back to each other, chuckling softly at the cliché.

“maybe i do want to, now.” you answered his question.

“oh? o-okay then i guess we can, w-we should,” he stuttered, wrapping his head around everything that was going on, “i don’t have a condom.” he announced, brows furrowed.

“my mom makes me take hormonal pills, so as long as you pull out on time, i guess we’re good.” you assured your boyfriend and he nodded.

“i guess we’re having sex then.” he gulped as he sat up carefully, pulling you closer so that you were straddling his lap.

you brought your faces close together until your forehead was against his, both your breaths mingling, “unless you don’t want to?”

“trust me, i want to.” his voice was laced with eagerness which made you laugh before you pulled him in for a kiss. the kiss was sweet until you wrapped your arm around peter’s shoulder, pushing your chest against his. it was as if you’d set off something in him. his tongue slid past your lips, exploring every corner of your mouth and his hands, already making their way under your shirt.

making you whimper at the demanding behaviour, he ran his fingers over your bare chest, groaning at the loss of a bra. his hands cupped your breasts, kneading them gently, yet in a way that had you biting down on his lip.

“peter, i want,” you panted as soon as your lips left his, “i want you.”

“i got you, angel.” he nodded, hands working to lift your shirt off your torso. you helped him by lifting your arms up. throwing off the t-shirt to the ground, he admired you, eyes roaming from the clavicle of your shoulders and the swell of your breasts to your waist which had a few stretch marks here and there. it was the most beautiful sight he’d even seen in his entire life, “you’re perfect.”

peter’s words were enough to make your cheeks heat up and make you wetter at the same time, if that was even possible. you were desperate as you let out a whine and his hand was already on you again. his lips engulfed yours in a passionate kiss, (and an attempt to dodge any possible complaints from your neighbours). his fingers travelled under the material of your shorts and you squirmed under his touch.

peter was thankful for his super strength during moments like these. he wrapped his arm around your waist to stop you from moving so much as his free hand made it past the waistband of your undergarment. you gasped against his lips as soon as his nimble finger made contact with your clit. and peter knew what he had to do. he rubbed the little bundle of nerves in circles, making you lose your balance of everything as you pulled away, soft moans falling from your lips.

peter’s one hand continued to work you up while the other came to place itself over your mouth, “sh sh shhh, princess, don’t want your parents hearing from your neighbours about us, do you?”

you nodded against peter’s hand, taking it in yours before wrapping your lips around peter’s index finger, sucking on it in an attempt to not make any sound.

peter only got harder in his joggers at your maneuver, watching you take his middle finger in your mouth as well. oh he would love to have those same, soft, pretty pink lips around his throbbing cock, but he wanted tonight to be about you. ever just the gentleman, peter wanted your first time with him to be about your pleasure more than his. thus, he sped up his finger over your clit, drawing you closer as muffled moans fell from your lips.

you were so preoccupied with peter that even the sound of your phone ringing couldn’t pull you out of the trance.

peter leaned in closer to your ear, whispering a dirty, “cum for me, my angel.” and that was enough for the coil in your abdomen to snap as you came undone just over his finger. peter was so proud of himself as he took in your blissed out expression.

he helped you ride out your high before pulling his hand away from your core, licking off the tip of his index finger clean.

“was that okay?” he asked, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“okay?” you chuckled at his question after finally catching your breath, “that was, wow, i’m at a loss of words!”

your phone rang again over the coffee table, this time catching the attention of the two of you. the contact name ‘mom’ displayed over the screen was enough to make your eyes widen.

“do you think she found out?” your voice was panicked when you looked back at peter and the question pulled a laugh out of him, making you look at him unbelievably, “peter, i’m serious!”

your boyfriend tried to control his laughter, “i’m sorry, i’m,” he chuckled, “you’re just so adorable.” he grinned as you rolled your eyes at him.

“i gotta see what’s up.” you extended your arm to grab your phone from the table but just as you were about the pick it up, peter stopped you, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “what? what is it?”

“answer the call when i’m inside you.”

peter’s statement sounded blasphemous to your ears, but it also made you want to do it. you were silent for a moment and peter wondered if he’d said something very wrong but as soon as he opened his mouth to apologise, you beat him to it.

“okay.”

the next seventeen seconds were filled with the two of you scrambling off the couch, struggling to take off the clothes of each other, and laughing at the eagerness while the second call from your mom was also left unanswered.

the brunette got back into his previous position, now unrestricted of all clothes, before pulling you on top of him.

“you’re completely sure about this, right?” peter asked, looking you right in the eyes.

you nodded, “i am.”

your arm wrapped around his shoulder, another one clutching your phone, as peter situated himself and found his way inside you. the two of you moaned at the contact, the wetness from your previous orgasm making it easier for him to slide in. when you were finally settled and peter had buried himself deep within you, the two of you took a minute to adjust to the feeling of each other; resting foreheads against each other, panting heavily at the blissful feeling that was being shared between you.

as your breathing came to slight normalcy, your phone rang for the third time. again, it was your mom calling. you looked to peter, indicating to him that you were going to pick up the phone.

those doe-brown eyes met yours once before he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you even closer to himself, bodies now pressed against each other as peter nestled his face in the crook of your neck.

you finally picked up, pulling the phone to your ear, “hello?”

you tried your best to sound normal but it seemed to you as if your voice was jello. your mother’s sigh of relief was heard from the other side, “finally. you worried me, honey, is everything okay?”

“yeah, mom, yeah! everything is okay-” a gasp left your mouth, as you felt peter sucking on the skin of your neck, which you had to cover with a cough.

“is… everything alright?” your mom was starting to sound suspicious and peter was not helping the case with the way he was moving around to suck hickies all over the skin of your collarbones.

“uh, yeah mom, everything is okay! i-i’m just doing my homework?” your statement sounded much more as if it was a question but you didn’t miss the way peter’s lips curled into a smirk against your skin and you could hear him saying a corny line such as, ‘so, homework is my new nickname?’

thankfully, your mom didn’t question any further on that topic, “did you have dinner yet?”

“n-no mom, not yet, i will have dinner after i finish my homework, i should really get it done now,” peter’s hands inched closer to your hips now and you rushed with your words but, inevitably, before you could finish your sentence he was grabbing you by the ass, making you grind on him, his cock brushing up against that spot inside you which had you slapping a hand over your mouth.

“sweetie? you still there?” your mom questioned, pulling you out of your trance for another minute.

“yes, mom, i’m so sorry, i-i gotta finish this, uh, homework, you know how stressed i can get, i-i’ll call you later, okay? bye, bye, bye!” you rushed out, cutting the call and tossing the phone down on the carpeted floor.

“so i’m your homework now? huh?” there was the corny joke. those were his words as soon as you met his eyes again.

“peter parker, you’re such a teas-” before you could finish your sentence, peter’s lips were on yours. he’d pulled you flush against him once more and this time you didn’t pay heed to holding back the lewd sounds.

he pushed you so that your back was against the couch and him, on top of you, “can i fuck you now?”

“yes, please.” you whispered against his lips, needy as ever, all thoughts of anyone else hearing you two were tossed out of the window as peter pulled back, only to thrust back into you. his hands held your wrists on either side of your head as his pace graduated, making you wrap your legs around his waist, needing him closer.

“oh, pete, please don’t stop.” you pleaded, and who was peter to disobey.

he pushed into you a few more times watching your face twist in pleasure, an indication that you were close. peter used one of his hands to travel down between your bodies as his other replaced it in holding your wrists above your head. his fingers came in contact with your sensitive clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body and you came undone with a gasp of his name.

peter swore he could probably have watched the scene unfold in front of him all day long, but the way you were clenching around him, now riding out your high, told him that he would not be lasting much longer.

“fuck.” he cursed under his breath, pulling out of you and giving his cock a few strokes as he came with a groan, the load spilling over your self and the couch.

both of you were breathing heavily, just revelling in the post-coital haze, bodies covered in a sheen layer of sweat but sweet words of appreciation spilling out from your mouths and the little pecks shared between you two were everything.

when the two of you calmed down a little, peter got up from you, instantly going to get some tissues to clean you up, after which the two of you worked on getting the blanket in for a wash.

after getting a shower together and finding some fresh and comfortable clothes for the yourselves, you entered the living room again which still looked like a disaster and smelled vividly of sex.

peter’s arms were around your waist once again, from behind this time, as he chuckled, looking at the mess the two of you’d made, “we better start with some deep cleansing now.”

“yeah, or else my parents will never leave me home alone again.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist | msterlist

tagging: @spideyspeaches @prancerrparkerr @hollandslittlekoala @usergarfields @theglitterymess @quaksonhehe @lowkey-holland @starlight-starks @piscesparker @didthebadthing @wildxwidow @blankspaceblankday @raajali3 @kelieah @tommyfroggie @saturnpeter @ellabellabus07 @comfort-reads @arvinsvintage

[222voyce]

pac reading.

Presenting…

“What they would say if they could.”

in this reading I will be talking about those who have blocked you, who you have blocked, and what they won’t say because of pride etc etc…

remember, three deep breaths and allow your guides to well… guide you lol.

pile 1. pile 2. pile 3.

(lil chibi levi!! photo cred: @PrincessNeshrenMazed)

ready? begin!

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

🍵pile one:

hi! Long time no see lol (it’s been a week.) okay so this pile has some.. mmm energy lol. I had to keep reshuffling lol. But at first, I saw that they were talking about you? Like they admire you. I keep hearing “come out on top” it’s like they don’t wanna see you succeed. But now I’m see they can’t let you go. They’re nostalgic and miss you a lot. Karmic cycle. This doesn’t have to be a lover either— it could be an old friend. Hmm weird lol. It’s like y’all had a good time together— there’s no one like you. Definitely someone from the past or a karmic partner. “Lessons” is what I’m hearing. You’re either stuck in their mind or vice versa. They probably gossip about you. “In your ear.” So you know— and probably hear about it.

This person you were close with or dating might have been popular. Had a higher status than you. I’m seeing they probably cut you off, ghosted you. that had an awakening or epiphany about you or something. The relationship was dying and they found something better? …oof. Sorry bout dat :/ something that met their standards. I’m seeing from this— they moved on pretty fast and were/are prosperous. Yikes, they’re doing fine just without you 😬. They think about you but they also keep on about their business. Someone could be stalking or watching. This could be the other way around too.

Hope you enjoyed this reading— if you’re the one stalking— stop. It’s not going to make you feel better and they’re stalking then keep going. And iffff this resonated, comment a black heart🖤

if you want to tip send it to my cash app $Jazlynvoyce!

It would mean alot!!

Have a great day🖤

⚔️pile two:

wassup pile 2! Already I’m see or hearing “I’m sorry.” They we’re probably putting on a facade that whole time. They might have been a reserved person— someone who didn’t always get down to the funky sound with ya lol. They want a compromise and a conversation. They feel like you hate them and saw them ass boring? They might have been pessimistic— complained a lot. A Virgo? And earth sign but air sign energy. Aquarius. Hardworking. They’re afraid to try again— in a relationship. You might have said something to them to make them feel some type of way. Hmmm. They miss you a whole lot.

LMFAO WHY DID THE IM SORRY CARD JUST FALL OUT🥹🥹🥹. Yea they definitely wanna apologize— the want to show you their real selves. They wanna hold you “fall into my arms.” AWWW. They love you is what I’m getting. They regret a lot. They want a family with you— soulmates— twin flames. Past life? They care about you sooo much🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹it seems like you’re done or moved on or still in love with this person. Let go of limiting beliefs and hear them out. No matter the out come.

are you willing to give them a chance?

Hope you enjoyed this reading!! If it resonated out a green heart 💚 in the comments!!

if you want to tip send it to my cash app $Jazlynvoyce! It would mean a lot!!

🐎pile three:

THE LOVERS?!??!??!? who is this person? They could be female or feminine (gender doesn’t really matter.) they probably know you’re their soulmate? They might be a little possessive. They are very traditional lovers and will wait however long it takes but I’m also seeing they’re tired of waiting. Want a family with you. Marriage. They want you to take a chance with them “jump in.” You ARENT used to this type of commitment. They love you with their whollleeee body. If this is an old relationship— they are willing to heal the past and start a clean slate with you. They’re offering you this but your hesitant. Understandable lol. But they will be better this time. (Mhm okay brother. Lol jk.)

Or they want to clean the slate of your past lovers— give you hope and show you what real love can be like. They could be an air sign. They want to teach you how to love— they’ve been through this pain and they want to take care of you. They understand you 🥹. Think that’s all you’ve ever wanted Fr. Yea baby they wanna take care of you— show you a new perspective of love and care. This could be a friend too— they might be someone that’s very adventurous and new. And this could be you wanting to do this for someone and they’re hesitant. It’s okay— take your time. They’ll open up for you 🫶🏾

Hope you enjoyed your reading!

If it resonated put a brown heart 🤎 in the comments.

if you want to tip send it to my cash app $Jazlynvoyce! It would mean a lot!!

Have a great day✨🫀