#Saeran wouldn't want him to live this way.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello, its me again telling the story of my beef with Cheritz for how they completely shoved Saeyoung's trauma under the rug.

It still feel angry and resentful that even in his own timeline his trauma and his mental condition was not addressed at. all.

Many of his decisions were not healthy for neither himself nor Saeran but it was bcs he didn't know any better. He knew he had to make a difficult decision and he did it.

As his mc we weren't allowed to do anything for him even when we could see how he clearly didn't care for himself.

Seeing Saeyoung doing everything alone all throughout Saeran's recovery was really hard for me. Perhaps because I relate to him so much, I could feel what he must've been going through. Always on an edge trying to make the correct decision so that nothing falls apart. Seeing Saeran in such a way must've been so unbearably hard for him but he had to stay strong for the both of them ignoring all the feelings of guilt, shame, anger, self loathing and so much more filling him to the brim. Making sure that Saeran is safe no matter what. Also completely ignoring his own health in the process.

Saeyoung should've had an arc dedicated to him at least starting to unlearn his trauma. I know it would've taken time but I didn't mind, they already addressed everyone else's trauma. They could've definitely gone another mile for him and involved mc too.

This is just something I always struggle with as a Saeyoung MC. Whenever I play any route or after ending or backstory or literally anything in the game. Nowhere is Saeyoung's trauma addressed and validated. It's implied but never addressed. Rather treated as a noble sacrifice on his part. Pain that he would happily take on for Saeran's wellbeing because he is just so selfless. But that is so wrong, there is so much guilt and trauma behind it and it feeds into his extreme paranoia making him unable to see that he is not only holding himself back from healing but Saeran as well.

I felt so useless throughout the whole sequence. I just wanted to be there for him in any way, be it bringing them something to eat or just sharing a simple phonecall with Saeyoung asking him how things are going, to let him talk about his feelings. But we were just made just spectators unable to do anything but see them.

I'm sorry for dumping this onto you, I saw your post about Saeyoung's parentification and had so many thoughts I wanted to share. I knew Saeyoung had deep rooted trauma that made him completely disregard himself and his needs but didn't have a word for it. You explained it perfectly. And I appreciate you for that. These aspects of him are hardly ever talked about so I was really happy you did.

So even if you might disagree with me on this, but I believe Saeyoung deserved to have an arc to unpack his trauma. Alas it's not possible anymore.

Thank you again Kait 🫶

I'm not a Saeyoung MC by any means, but that doesn't mean that I don't love him and want better for him. I love him like a brother and I have a hard time seeing him suffer over and over again when he has the ability to reach out and ask for help in his route and subsequent after ending.

I get why he does what he does, and I've had the time to understand him as a person to know why he made a lot of... well, reckless choices in the name of doing the right thing. He knows that sometimes, there is only one option, and it's taking the road that's just a little less worse in comparison to the other road you could take. That's just the way it works sometimes, and there isn't another way around it. But, in most situations where Saeyoung is suffering—

He could've gotten all the help in the world if he asked for it. He has trust issues and he's fraught with paranoia, but the RFA will not give up on him no matter what. If he asks for help, he'll get it. That's been proven countless times. But, it's his trauma that makes him deny the help every time. He doesn't want to help himself. He wants to help his baby brother. That's his reason for living.

But, he doesn't need to be selfless to the point where he suffers, and I wish—I wish so often—that Saeyoung could've been allowed to have a lot more agency over his trauma, as well as the ability to talk about it and confront it. He deserves love and to be helped the way he helps his family. He shouldn't deny it. He shouldn't run away from it. That's a huge narrative arc of his route and we all know it.

The Secret Ending could've done well to have added that to his MC. Something, anything, just a snapshot of MC trying to help him and him taking that help. Even if that help was as small as bringing him dinner to share with Saeran. It makes sense why he would be wary of MC being around Saeran or Saeran being around MC just on the off chance that it would be traumatic, I get his reasoning there and I'm sure many Saeyoung MCs don't blame him for that.

But, MC needed the ability to do something. That is probably one of my only pieces of blunt criticism when it comes to that. Saeyoung is someone who just promised to be honest, open, and clear with you about his feelings and identity. I'm not saying he shouldn't regress or struggle, because God knows he would fall into old habits, but where in the hell is the scene where Saeyoung has a goddamn meltdown in MC's arms because he is so tired of being strong?!

Something! Anything!

For the love of God, allow Saeyoung the opportunity to heal from his trauma in a healthy way, and grant him the chance to be vulnerable with the person he loves more than anything because that's what the Saeyoung MCs want! Saeyoung, you've been fighting long enough. I think it's time to rest. You don't need to be the only one who carries a burden on his back. Let's carry this fear, together.

[anas-tasiaa]

He's clearly talked about Saeyoung here 🥲 Brb crying.

[k4txlulzz]

v is ALMOST just as responsible for the choi twin's awful fate as rika🤷🏻im tired of him being coddled like he did nothing wrong or him being characterized as this noble savior of saeran and saeyoung when he absolutely is not lol

its also telling that in the good endings of the twins' routes v is either dead or in jail. either way, out of their lives . which is how it should be . i do believe v is a good person but his decisions regarding the twins are astronomically stupid and it makes me viscerally mad because. it could have been so easily avoided . saeyoung and saeran wouldn't be separated if it weren't for rika AND him

i DO want him to have sweet moments with them and i enjoy seeing them get along but because he's so self-sacrificing and apologetic it doesn't give the twins room to actually be mad cuz "poor v". it feels like "oh they should be grateful that he is changing" when they don't have to be at peace with jihyun at all . the way he hurt saeyoung is especially overlooked which makes me even more upset

and keep in mind i still do feel bad for him, i don't blame him for the stuff rika specifically did and it's important to acknowledge that he is a victim of domestic abuse. my criticisms of him are not of that regard, i am annoyed at his relationship with the twins outside of rika, his own independent actions that happen to be, again, very stupid

[princessjung]

Chain of Heart

Saeyoung x Fem!MC

2603 words

TW; mental breakdown, panic attack, flashbacks

The twins handle their own healing in a way that's different than hers. Or so she thought.

Note: This took place some time after the event of Saeran's After Ending. I wrote this purely for my own comfort and validation back then. Forgiveness is a difficult thing for me and so did the opposite. Its almost like I'm tiptoeing in the middle of these delicate lines. So I thought I'd just drop it here in case someone feel the same way as me :)

Once she closed the door of the library, she took place at one of the comfy white sofa in the middle of the room. Her mind swirling around all the nightmares mingled with her anger, frustation and doubt. There's too many things to the point she didn't even know which one to focused on. Her heart began to hammered a tad too loud, but she kept her breathing as quiet as she could despite having no one in sight. It's a habit she held close to her heart even when she didn't live with her family anymore. Finding the darkest corner to hide, crying silently, gathered all the broken pieces together again and act like nothing was happening in the first place.

At first it was just the common regular nightmare. It was nothing she couldn't handle as she'd been dealing with those as much as Saeran did. Though she's sure his nightmares were twice as horrible than hers. But then it kinda just snowballed from there. From vague pictures and blurs of motion, now her nightmare was as vivid as if it were happening in real life. The words, actions and even the way everyone act was exactly the same.

Last night must be the worst she ever gotten in a long time. She remembered how her whole body paralyzed as she slowly opened her eyes; in contrast of the usual gasp and jolted movement. Saeran was still fast asleep. In all honestly he finally got better at sleeping without getting awake regularly, much to her relief. She didn't want to be another burden for him. She already told him way too much and she couldn't bear letting him handling another breakdown of hers.

And then she felt it.

Her fingertip touched the left cheek where the tears from her eyes streaming down her face. Hah... she wondered for a good moment on when did she started crying. Perhaps she felt everything and nothing at once until her mind went numb. But even then she's aware of the lack of emotions on her face right now. It's as if she's unable to showcase anything facial expression in contrast to the tears that keep escaping with each passing second. She must've looked funny right now, she thought to herself. Would Saeran agree with her statement? She doubted that would be the case. But if there's one thing she's certain of; she needed this tears. She needed to cry and letting out all her bottled up emotions through it. These days she's been having difficulties to shed even a drop of tears. So now she just wanted to savor the feelings while it last.

She kept her posture straight, trying to breathe through her mouth now that she could feel her nose getting red and runny. Luckily there's a box of tissue nearby so she didn't look like a complete disaster. Out of the blue, she let out a dry chuckle in the middle of her mental breakdown. Great, now she's completely losing her mind that way. And the worse part is she didn't know what she want. Would a few words of comfort from her lover soothed her aching heart. Or perharps she's in need of his warmth and embrace right now. Usually it would help her to calm down and shift her focus on him instead.

She immediately shook her head at the thought. As much as he owned her entire heart without a single doubt, she didn't want any of his closure for the time being. And while she's aware he wouldn't judge or denying any of her feelings, she couldn't help the guilt seeping up her body when thinking about it. She wanted to lash out, to scream her lungs out, to ripped out every books within her sight, to kick and punch the faces that ruined his and her lives. She could feel the seething anger bubbling underneath her skin, threatening to jumped out any seconds if she let her emotions took over her rationalism. Maybe if she could just—

The faint knock on the door snapped her out of the spiraling thoughts in her head. It forced her to tore her gaze to the direction of the door. Whoever was on the other side...

It must be Saeran. He must've noticed the way she kept her mouth shut the entire breakfast and how she only took a bite before retreating herself to the mini library of their home. He tend to be a worrywart whenever she showed the slightest sign of not being her usual self, that's just the man he is through and through. It took her a long time to consider before deciding to just let him in. Perharps his presence wasn't as bad as she feared it would be. Besides, there are times when she's denying him when she actually craved it without realizing. And she knew he would respect her choice if she told him she needed to be alone. Therefore she tried to collect herself before answering him.

"C-Come in..."

And there was her chance flying out of the window. Of course the wavery voice would betray her. Couldn't even get her shit together for God's sake. She wondered what's the next thing she's going to ruin after this. However, the sight that greeted her once the door was opened caught her off guard. It was the older twin with red hair and golden eyes that came in instead of her white haired and blueish eyes lover; slightly hesitant in his steps when he saw her weary eyes and tears almost all over her face now. They both didn't exhange anything once he sat across her as she kept her head down the entire time. Though there's no need for shame, she still felt it in her chest despite being grateful he didn't commented on her messy appearance. Only the sound of birds chirping outside can be heard occasionally before he broke the silence first.

"...Do you want to talk about it?"

"Would you like to listen?"

"Yeah."

She took a few shaky breath to regain her composure a little. Feeling a little nervous although she knew he would be a good listener. Perhaps he might have the answer she's been looking for a while. Something that she's been hesitating to tell her lover because of the difference between their choices. It always seemed like she share quite a lot of trait with Saeyoung too. Soon she faced him properly before beginning to talk.

"I feel hurt by everything lately..."

She started by acknowledging her feelings, pondering over her words for a good few moments before continuing.

"I've been having nightmares about... about what happened to you and Saeran back then. And no matter how hard I tried to help you both, it seemed useless in that dreams... "

The cut scenes of images from her nightmares flashed before her eyes; forcing her to broke the eye contact with Saeyoung and held her head back down with a few tears rolling down her cheeks again.

"I know I'm the last person on earth who should feel traumatized by all this when you've gone through worse but—"

"No, stop right there."

He cut her off firmly. It doesn't held any annoyance or irritation per se, but the strictness managed to shut her up without much effort. She held the hem of her clothes tightly around her fist, trying to find something to hold on for a moment. None of them spoke a word after that, making her feel suffocated especially with the thick, heavy atmosphere lingering around them. Therefore she tried to look up to him again. His face was as calm and collected as ever so it's difficult for her to tell what he truly felt.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"How do you handle the anger inside your heart?"

The question seemed to pique his interest; with raised eyebrow and a glint in his eyes that's been urging her to continue. As if he knew there's much more to the question that meet the eye.

"Saeran choose to forgive and make peace with the past. He choose understanding rather than hating. But I know you didn't make the same choice as him..."

She closed her eyes when her mind traveled to the past; remembering her lover's supposedly last words at the lake the night before they had to parted ways. He also repeated the same thing alomg the 4 days of adrenaline rush and path of danger, telling her on how much he already changed and wanted to step into the light with love embracing him once more. And honestly she supported his healing journey all the way. He's now capable of deciding his own path as a free man and he doesn't need to fear anything that's been holding him back. And yet...

"I have too much resentment within me that I don't think I can make a noble decision like that. I could literally burn the people I resent if I want. All my life, I've always forced to empathize and put myself in people's shoes to the point I don't even remember what mine looks like. Why should I do that to those people I loathe? I'm done dishing out my kindness towards people. But I also know that I don't want to hold onto this anger. I'm—"

Her chest rising and falling as her heart was beating in rapid motion. The words that's been spilling out of her mouth just now were too much even for her. Would he think of her as a selfish person after this? Maybe. Even her head began to spun around like a carousel at the theme park as her hand constantly shaking out of... Anger? Embarrassment? Shame? She couldn't tell at this point.

"...You don't want to forgive. You just want to forget about it and move on with your life but without the anger trying to hold you back from happiness."

There, the perfect summary of her entire feelings. For a moment she wondered how did Saeyoung manage to captured it so precisely. But that's the least of her concerns right now. Just with that short sentences, he made her feel understood and seen. Exactly like what she craved for without any judgement or accusation.

"Did you feel like you're stuck in between?"

"Very."

Silence greeted them again. But this time it's slightly better than before considering she already let out what's on her chest all this time. She waited for his answer in anticipation: wondering if there's any difference when it comes to the twins comforting style. While their personalities are the complete opposite of each other, her instinct told her that they both held the similar pattern of speech in relations to comfort.

"I can relate to that anger like you're holding a mirror to me. You know it's perfectly alright to get angry, right? Especially when the world treat you so unfairly almost all your life. It just depends on you. Today you can choose anger if your heart is telling you that. Tomorrow you can choose otherwise. No option is wrong here."

Choosing different option everytime? Now that got her interested. She always thought she should focus solely in one choice. It never crossed her mind that she could do it differently or according to her own feelings. Saeyoung took a deep breath before letting it out a few times. Perhaps trying to collect himself, perhaps she just reminded her of the past.

"I accepted Saeran's decision to forgive just like how he respected mine to not. And you know we are the last person who would judge you or feel weirded out if you choose both."

She nodded her head at his conclusion; feeling the huge amount of relief flowing out of her chest. In a way, she's so grateful for being able to share a piece of herself with her brother-in-law. It's been messing with her mind for quite some time already and while she knew her lover would provide the same comfort, it's actually nice to be see someone relating and doing the same thing as her. It made her feel validated through and through. That her anger is justified and there's no shame to it. For a long time she's been repressing it to the point of tearing herself apart. But now she already got the peace of mind and heart she'd been looking for.

"I... I don't know why it's so hard to..."

The words trailed off as a sudden realization dawned upon her. It's always so hard for her to forgive the people who's been hurting her loved ones. She remembered giving a side-eye glance to the boy that broke her friend's heart. The way she still hold the dissatisfaction towards each and every person that made her loved one's cry or hurt. As much as she's willing to give second chance once in a while, the fact remains that she would never find it in her heart to meet eye-to-eye with these people anymore. Luckily Saeyoung seemed to understand it despite her not uttering it out loud.

"That's okay, I feel the same way with Saeran. God knows I would split the bodies of people hurting him within seconds. And I think Saeran would do the same for you considering how protective my baby brother can be. Not the splitting bodies part of course— but the sentiment is there."

She let out a relief and amused chuckle at the answer, and Saeyoung soon followed the gesture. In some ways, she knew that she's connected to Saeyoung when it comes to protecting their siblings. Perhaps it's because they're both the older one so it's easy to relate to those feelings. It could be because they share the same rage within their heart. Either way, she knew he would always got her back no matter what.

"Very heroic of my love to do that."

"Only the best for his angel, as he would say."

This time she couldn't help but smile when thinking about her lover. While she admitted to him before it's quite awkward when she's being called an angel, now it seemed to grow on her already. Her heart felt warm at the thought of him regarding her as an angel despite her flaws and insecurities. She always said to him that if there's any of them are an angel, it's definitely him. Though he would playfully argue with her statement at times. She then wipe out the remaining tears, shooting a hesitant glance at Saeyoung before letting the word fell over her lips.

"Can I... get a hug?"

Wordlessly, he open his arms wide and wrapped it around her waist as soon as she moved next to him. Her eyes fluttered shut at his warmth, different from Saeran and yet gave the same sense of secure and comfort. Saeyoung always mentioned how he's twice as warm so that he can provide the heat for two of the most important people in his life. She pulled him tighter when remembering every happy memories that the three of them made together.

"Thank you for listening, Saeyoung. I couldn't ask for a better brother-in-law."

"Don't think about it. I cherish you as much as I cherish my brother. I have the duty of protecting my family after all."

Sooner or later, she found herself dozing off on his shoulders without her realizing it. The breakdown along with the heart-to-heart conversation surely take a toll on her body. Therefore she let herself fall into the dreamland after feeling her chest getting lighter thanks to his warm embrace.

[rfaromance]

I'm new here so idk if you've done this before but what about hurt/comfort with Saeyoung and MC while they're in the apartment, Saeyoung ofc is being Like That. MC tries pushing at first but she's been burned/ghosted by ""friends"" more than once and has low self-esteem and eventually goes "you can just be honest with me you know. if you really don't like me I can take a hint. wouldn't be the first time. i know im not the kind of person other people like." maybe even says she wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the RFA is just being polite so they can hold parties again... and she locks herself in another room, maybe doesn't even check the messenger for the rest of the day.

And Saeyoung, as much as he's trying to be a dick so she won't miss him, just can't fucking do it. he's not going to let MC think she's the problem when he's the asshole (and whoever else has hurt her, but revenge plotting can be done later). she probably won't let him in right away but eventually they talk and maybe cuddle or smthn

"You can just be honest with me, you know."

Luciel didn't look up from his screen when MC spoke, even though the strands of letters and numbers flickering across his computer had turned into a jumbled, soupy mess hours ago. He was accustomed to working through exhaustion, fatigue, malnutrition, and dehydration, so he knew that if he kept pushing, eventually he'd break this obstacle and be working smoothly once again.

He didn't need to stop. Certainly, he didn't need to stop to listen to MC's chattering.

They'd been trying to start conversations with him multiple times since his arrival at the apartment, but he would just tighten his headphones or lean closer to his screen, to make a point. 'I'm busy,' he would convey wordlessly. 'I don't want to talk to you.'

That was a lie, of course; Luciel wanted nothing more than to be close to MC, to hear their woes, and if he could dare dream to be so selfish, to sob into their embrace. But he couldn't risk getting close to someone ever again.

Now that he knew he was a curse that damned everyone he loved to misery.

After seeing what had become of Saeran, who was his entire reason for breathing, he couldn't dare risk accepting MC's snacks, or blankets, or bandages. They'd live a far better, safer, and happier life once he finished restoring the security system and could vanish from their world forever.

"If you don't really like me... I can take a hint."

But nothing... nothing could have prepared him to hear those words leave his beloved MC's mouth.

A harsh bark of laughter came next. Luciel didn't dare look behind him, lest MC know he was listening, but the bitterness in their tone made his stomach twist. "It wouldn't be the first time," they murmured, their voice barely above a whisper. "I've learned by now... that I'm not the type of person that other people like. I'm not the type of person that anyone wants to keep around."

How was he supposed to focus on the flashing symbols on his screen, when warning signals were flashing inside his brain? Luciel could feel his body stiffen as he tried to think of a response. Was it appropriate for him to say anything? Would his words only put MC in more danger? Maybe he could just wait for them to calm down, and then surely someone from the RFA could call to distract them and put a smile on their face.

Someone from their world, a world of light and justice and charity and hope, could put a smile on their face once more and restore their confidence.

Luciel massaged his fingers for a moment, then cracked his knuckles and returned to typing. That should help MC understand that he "wasn't listening," right?

"It's okay," MC murmured. "If you don't want me around, I mean. Actually... I bet everyone else in the RFA feels the same way." Another pitiful laugh escaped their throat. "Maybe... maybe you even said in the chatroom that my location is secret because you wanted me to believe that's why nobody would visit me. I'm just some dumb, lost fool who doesn't know any of you, and I'm not at all fit to fill Rika's role. Maybe... someone begged you for an excuse... Would it be Jumin? Jaehee? A whole separate group chat?"

Every word that left MC's troubled lips cut another slice on Luciel's heart. Were they even talking to him anymore, or were they just voicing the concerns that'd been clogging their thoughts and feelings for days now?

"At least I can be useful. Even if nobody likes me... The RFA is full of good people. If I'm good for nothing else, at least I can help them have a party again. That's enough of a reason to pretend to tolerate me, isn't it?"

Whether he was meant to hear them, he knew he couldn't bear to let MC continue to believe this. Luciel could plow through work against his own pain, but the thought of hurting MC... Even he couldn't handle that adrenaline working against him.

Luciel finally turned his head (against his better judgment), but by the time he could open his mouth to speak, MC was already gone.

The bathroom door slammed behind them.

~~~~~

"Time for dinner, meow! Time for dinner, meow!"

MC nearly tripped over themselves as they got to their feet, their joints and muscles screeching in protest. Carefully they stepped over the side wall of the tub, suppressing a groan as their knees shrieked. They didn't intend to pass out sobbing in the bathtub, but crying is exhausting! One minute they were sniffling into their sleeves, and the next...

Wait, did that robot kitty say "dinner"?

MC nearly tripped again in their shock as they hurried over to the bathroom door. But as soon as they touched the handle, they hesitated. Would Seven--no, Luciel--even want to see them? Shame and guilt washed over them as they remembered what they had said this morning. Confessing that they knew everyone hated them and it wouldn't be the first time? Would he kick them out of the apartment? Would they be fired from the RFA? MC couldn't begin to imagine the conversations that had happened while they were dozing off. They could vaguely recall their phone buzzing from time to time, but half-conscious and wholly-despondent, they'd ignored every message.

"Dinner meow! Don't let it get cold meow!"

Well, if nothing else would motivate MC to face their anxiety, the rumbling in their stomach was rather persuasive. Inhaling deeply, MC turned the handle and opened the door to walk out into the main body of the apartment.

"I hope you like soup."

MC nearly jumped out of their skin at the sound of Luciel's voice. He was sitting in his usual spot on the floor, but he was pointing a finger towards the kitchen area. "The broth will be good for you, since you... It's good if you lose fluids," he finished awkwardly. Was he trying to avoid saying "cry"? Wait, did he hear them crying in the tub? "Meowy can help you spruce it up. It's a basic miso soup with some vegetables you had around the pantry."

As if on cue, Meowy pressed its head against your legs. Curiously MC followed, and the corners of their mouth twitched into a smile when they saw the tray of sauces, spices, herbs, and other garnishments by the eager robotic kitty's paws.

"I already had some. Eat as much as you want."

MC wanted to thank him, but they weren't sure if he would want to be bothered now. He'd already gone back to typing with both hands, and his headphones were firmly nestled over his ears with his hood on top of them too. "I..."

"You're important to us. All of us." He spoke up before MC could think of what to say. "Just because you don't like yourself, doesn't mean we can't like you. Got it? Don't try to change my mind."

MC had never tasted such a delicious, heartfelt bowl of soup in their life.

[drea-ms]

BLAME IT ON THE BLACK STAR CHOI SAEYOUNG

리카. you know that what you had with the red headed hacker was complicated, both of you held secrets. He has a secret twin brother who he hasn't seen in forever and you were the god daughter of the "dead girl" who lived in this apartment, with a mission; find a way out of this hell.

warnings. heavy angst. religious trauma (reader). implied that the readers related to v but not talked much. reader is the god daughter of v n rika. death. suicide mentions but not much??? less of an x reader but more of reader hating anything religious. religion talk. talk about gods. kinda spoilers for rikas behind story dlc. reader is black star by radiohead coded. open ending. grammar mistakes. readers a former follower n believer of mint eye. she also has mint eyes like saeran.

Fucked. That's how you've been feeling the entire time. That stupid plan you made may be given up at this point, there was no way out of this one, especially when you fell in love with the red head. Everything was going the way you hadn't planned. You hate when something's don't go your way.

You don't know how long it's been since you left the empire known as Mint Eye and went to her apartment. You knew who was behind this, you knew who lead you here and you still went to the location, knowing what was going on. You heard about him through her, how weak he was, how he was useless to her but useful for her empire, she made him know his place. A nobody but a somebody, the same way she did to you. You were no stranger to the man with white hair and faded pink tips, Saeran Choi was Rika's right hand man of course. Though, he was a stranger to the one pulling the strings behind the scenes, You.

The same person, who made sure people followed her rules, made her put people in their place, mere mortals against their own god, trying to follow her wicked ways of life, that was you. And before leaving, you felt proud about that. Now, you're not sure. You would've said something if it weren't with the fact that that you hated the punishment if you spoke out. you hated your godmother. You wanted to curse her out and hurt her.

But you knew your place, you were a former believer of the religious cult your godmother and her sister made, the cult where she tortured your godfather to the point where he was blind, the same cult where you knew saeyoungs brother was being held. God mother, huh? you hated that word, she wasn't your godmother, nor was she your savior who helped you.

she was a horrible, horrible woman who wanted more power. You gave that to her. That makes you as horrible as her, doesn't it? such a shame, you always thought you were a hero. guess not.

You don't know how long it's been since you were told to go inside her apartment by saeran, you wouldn't blame him though, he didn't even know what you look like, let alone know who you were, rika was adamant on keeping you two apart, she knew that if you two were to partner up, her plan would be screwed over. But you do know that the stupid red head, known as 707, was making you go insane. You knew you liked him in a romantic way, but he made you feel like you had more than a crush on him.

Each second you stay here longer than intended was sickening, the way the RFA believed your godfather about how he was away on business trip was disgusting, because you know where he was, of course you did, you always keep a tab on all the members of Mint Eye, you were their shadow, their secret weapon, at least while you were brainwashed. Now you were a girl stuck in a apartment with a bomb inside it and the guy you liked, no, love, inside with you. Ignoring you since he came in. You wanted to leave this forsaken place more than ever.

If you were more naive, you would've prayed to the the gods above, hell, you would've prayed to your savior about saving you again. but you knew you far from saving, once thinking that those who didn't follow mint eye were a disgrace. Nobodies who had nothing to live for. Yearning for someone to save them from their own hell. Thinking that once they die, the gods would see them as disgraces and send them to the unthinkable.

Now you were a disgrace upon the gods, the gods who didn't want to save you, they wanted you to suffer the same way new members of that cult did. The minty eyes you had were never letting you forget how much of a monster you were at Mint Eye each time you looked at the damn mirror.

"Are you done staring? You've been looking at me like you want to spill your secrets." saeyoung Luciel says to you, snapping you out your hour long daze, his face looking at you with a concerned yet not really caring look. You turn to the window that was closest to you and look outside before speaking, "Sorry, zoned out for a while.....It's just...." you say, stopping your sentence before looking at the man infront of you, the couch never felt more uncomfortable than this moment right now.

"Just what? I'm not a mind reader, tell me what's troubling you." he says, this time he was worried for you, you've been zoning out more often, he knew that this was hard for you too. But in order to keep you safe, he had to stay as far away from you.

You wanted to tell saeyoung 707 about what was clawing your mind, but you know you couldn't, you'll let time do it for you. Let him know about everything.

Even though he'll hate you more than he does right now.

But for now?

"It's nothing. Just finish your work, i need some noise right now, the silence is bothering me a lot" a small smile appears on your face. A genuine one. Not one of those fake ones you used to put on while with Mint eye.

Just for right now at least

You'll blame it on the Black Star at night.

The same black star where Choi Saeyoung was blaming himself to.

val speaks!!!!! i felt like writing angst tonight, also might make a part two dunno yet, it's like 1 am as i'm writing this and i just finished editing what i can. on a serious note, this was mostly inspired by an oc i made like 3 ish years ago abt mm and decided to write about, except as a x reader rather than an oc.. please please please tell if there are any mistakes in this post!!! i'm like so tired to fix the grammar mistakes as of rn

[pastelsapphy]

Inferno

"I wanted to bring here everyone that should get on their knees for Saeran. Me, that woman, and V..." Saeyoung Choi is not a man of mercy. He is a hellbound force of retribution with nothing left to lose. Those who hurt his brother will pay for it in blood. What if Saeyoung had brought V to the cabin too? Warnings: Major character death, murder, suicide, arson, death by fire, unhinged Saeyoung. Read on AO3 A/N: "Hey Luc, didn't you post this already?" Yes. And then I edited the post fifty times and added an AO3 link, so I wanted to make a neater post. Anyway, I wrote this at midnight because the thought wouldn't leave me alone. I wonder what Saeyoung's plan was if he'd gotten all three of them to the cabin like he'd wanted in VAE. Whatever it was, it wouldn't be pretty. And I think seeing both of the people he blamed Saeran's death in front of him... the thought that Saeran wouldn't want revenge wouldn't stop him. Not this time. The world needs more unhinged Saeyoung. Let him be angry and terrifying. I'm normally not a fan of unhappy endings, so maybe a miracle happens. Maybe Saeyoung ends up with a cool scar to match his brother's. Maybe not. Who knows.

There is an old clock in the cabin. Saeyoung isn't sure how it still works--it's not like anyone who comes out here is about to change the batteries or anything. Yet it works, filling the tiny wooden building with a steady tick, tick, tick as the seconds go by.

It's fitting, really. It's as if the universe is counting down the minutes. How many more does he have? Maybe it's only a few. Perhaps as much as an hour. Certainly not much more than that.

Tick, tick, tick.

He had already sent Vanderwood outside. Well, forced them out might be more accurate--they could tell something was wrong with Saeyoung. Of course, they knew about his brother by this point; they knew he was going to grieve, and grieving people do weird shit to cope. And Saeyoung is a weird guy to begin with. But something was just... off. It was a feeling in their gut. Something snapped in that kid's brain and Vanderwood wasn't keen on leaving him to his own devices.

"I'm not leaving you by yourself so you can do something stupid," Vanderwood had said.

"I know exactly what I'm doing, Vanderwood." Saeyoung did not shift his gaze away from the cabin's other two occupants. "It's in everyone's best interest if you wait outside."

"I told you I'm--"

"Get the fuck out!" Saeyoung snapped, briefly looking away to shoot a glare at the other agent.

Vanderwood had been momentarily stunned into silence. They yelled at Saeyoung on a regular basis--the kid had caused them so many headaches over the years--but never had Saeyoung snapped back like that. He would make smartass remarks, god knows he was full of them, but he never yelled. If he had ever been truly angry with Vanderwood, he had never shown it.

There was a long silence, broken only by the ever-present tick, tick, tick of the old clock. Then, Vanderwood had sighed and stood from their chair. "Fine. But if I think you're about to do something that will endanger both our lives, I'm coming back."

"You don't have to worry about that. Just wait outside, Agent."

Something about the way he said that sent a chill down their spine. Maybe it was his tone, now constantly laced with barely-restrained rage. Maybe it was the fact that he called them Agent. Maybe it was instinct. But after another moment's pause, they stepped outside the cabin. They reached into their pocket for their cigarettes, only to find them gone, along with their lighter. Must have left them in the cabin. By the time they turned around to check, Saeyoung had already latched the door behind them.

So now it's just the three of them, three people tied together by one unbreakable thread. Three people who weren't human anymore. Three monsters. Three killers with blood on their hands. The worst kind of scum, all responsible for taking the life of an innocent--someone too kind and pure for this world.

Saeran may have been the one to detonate the bomb that destroyed Magenta, but the three who sit in the cabin--Saeyoung Choi, Jihyun Kim, Rika Kim--are the ones responsible. They all killed Saeran. Saeran's blood coats their hands and would never, could never, be washed away.

Tick, tick, tick.

V, ever the mediator, is the first to break the silence. "Luciel--"

"Why?" The word tears itself from Saeyoung's throat, finally pushing past the lump of rage and guilt that threatens to strangle him.

"I'm sorry, Saeyoung," Rika says. "I'm so sorry for everything that happened. If I could go back, if I could trade my life for his--"

"You have no right to say that." Saeyoung spits, standing abruptly. "You have no! Right!"

Rika falls silent, her hollow-eyed gaze dropping to the floor. Saeyoung hates it. Her demeanor only angers him further. How dare she play the victim? Maybe the 'it's all my fault, I'm the worst, I deserve retribution' thing would garner sympathy from other people, but not Saeyoung. He, in fact, wholeheartedly agrees. It is all her fault. She is the worst person in the world. She does deserve retribution. The same goes for V and himself.

"Luciel--" V tries again.

"And neither do you!" Saeyoung's venom now turns to him. "Don't you dare say anything about sacrifice. It means nothing. It won't bring him back. It won't change what you did to him."

Tick, tick, tick.

"I trusted you," Saeyoung says. "I. Trusted. You. You promised me--you swore to me that you would protect him! How could you--" his voice cracks. "How could you do that to him? Saeran was good. Saeran was innocent. Saeran was kind, and gentle, and he deserved to be loved. But you--you--"

He lets out a frustrated noise, unable to turn his thoughts into words. His mind is nothing but a loop of rage, rage, rage. Rage and vengeance and shame and guilt.

"You killed him," he finally growls. "Both of you killed him. And... so did I. Every one of us is responsible for what happened to him."

"Luciel," V tries again. "We--" he sighs. "Please, Luciel... if anything, do not blame yourself--"

"How?" He snaps. "How?! I trusted you both to look after him. To care for him. To treasure him. And instead, you manipulated and brainwashed him. You tortured him just like our mother did." He feels a twisted sense of satisfaction at the pained gasp Rika lets out, as if she's been stabbed through the heart.

Saeyoung decides to twist the knife further. "Actually, you were even worse than our mother. At least she never lied to us. We knew from the beginning that she only wanted us to get money from our father, that she never loved either of us. But you? You lied. You promised to protect us, to help us. But in the end you were just the same. You gave us hope only for your own selfish needs.

"Saeran spent every day of his life living in fear while you beat all the kindness and gentleness out of him.

"And you--" Now he speaks directly to V. "You did nothing to stop her. Fuck all your excuses. I don't care about your sacrifice. You were only ever concerned with her. You were only ever protecting her. If you had really wanted to protect Saeran then you would have saved him from her. You can martyr yourself all you want, it won't make you any better than her."

Tick, tick, tick.

The air in the room shifts abruptly. It's charged, thrumming like a livewire. The explosive anger evaporates in an instant; it's replaced by something far more terrifying.

"All of Saeran's killers must be held responsible for what happened," Saeyoung says. His anger is no longer a raging inferno. Now, his anger is like ice. It's calm, now. No less intense, but calm. As if he had long ago decided a course of action.

Tick, tick, tick.

Saeyoung crosses the room and reaches for something behind one of the chairs. He wonders, briefly, what his brother's last moments were like. How did the bomb detonate? Had Saeran simply pressed a button and ended it, or was he forced to sit there and listen as a timer counted down his last minutes on Earth?

Tick, tick, tick.

Rika does not react, but V's eyes widen when Saeyoung lifts a large, red plastic canister from behind the chair. "Luciel, what are you--"

Saeyoung unceremoniously upends the container in the middle of the cabin's main room. The liquid quickly soaks into the carpet and the wood flooring, and the heavy smell of gasoline fills the room.

Tick, tick, tick.

"Luciel! Wait, let's talk about this--" V has risen to his feet, but freezes when Saeyoung pulls a beat-up zippo from his pocket.

"Talk?" Saeyoung says, laughing. "Talk?! You had years to talk, V, but you stayed silent and let Saeran suffer. The time for talking has long since passed."

Tick, tick, tick.

He flicks the lighter open with a small metallic clink.

"Saeran wouldn't want this," V tries. His half-blind, once-honest eyes are wide and desperate.

"Don't you dare speak his name!" Saeyoung shouts. "You don't deserve to say his name."

"Please--"

"It doesn't matter anymore what he would have wanted."

It's then that V notices the tears running down Saeyoung's cheeks, the tremble in his voice. Had he ever seen Saeyoung cry before?

"He's gone. And he's never coming back. And those responsible need to pay for it.

"Heh... you know, this is the first time I wished I could get into Heaven," Saeyoung continues, voice breaking. "Just for a few minutes. Just long enough to apologize to Saeran. For everything. For not being able to protect him. For leaving him. For being a terrible brother. For betraying him. For failing him. Beg for his forgiveness. All of us should."

Tick, tick, tick.

Saeyoung lets out a low chuckle. "Knowing Saeran... he would probably forgive us. Not that any of us deserve it. So perhaps it's better this way."

Tick, tick, tick.

"Take your revenge, Saeyoung." Rika's voice is hardly above a whisper, yet it seems so loud in such a small space.

Tick, tick, tick.

Saeyoung lowers himself to the ground, thumb on the wheel of the zippo. The gasoline soaks into the legs of his jeans. His head feels light, and he's not sure if it's from the fumes or if it's a weight lifting off his shoulders.

Tick, tick, tick.

"You wanted us all to be a family, right?" He says.

Tick, tick, tick.

"Then let's go to Hell together."

Tick, tick,

Click

Tick--

BOOM.

[onlinekitsune]

Hey there! Would it be possible to request some headcanons for RFA + minor trio with an MC who is obsessed with mugs? They literally cannot leave the house without buying a cute and cosy mug to snuggle up with a cup of tea. But their collection is just getting out of hand and they have to literally steer MC away from the mug aisle in shops. Mugs are taking over the kitchen. Every. Single. Mug. Is used. It is just pure chaos. Thank you!

hiya!! yes, of course!! this is such a cute request! i love it i hope these aren't too ooc for them! i tried my best to make them interesting and in character <3 thank you for requesting!! i hope you enjoy! (´,,•ω•,,)♡

JAEHEE KANG: was your voice of reason, as much as she loved seeing you happy over a silly mug she knew when enough was clearly enough, after your cabinets were 60% of just mugs she intervened, she bargained with you to only get a mug when it was a special occasion, though sometimes she'd spoil you with a surprise mug, those were always handmade and very cute, she'd make one for herself too so you'd match while having your morning coffee together

JUMIN HAN: he was the worst person to be by your side when having an collecting addiction like this, he was your number one enabler, you want that mug? not an issue, that rare mug is 10k? ordering it right now, he'd also get invested in all the cat ones and would show you them, having no space wasn't an issue, being the executive director at a prestigious company gave an upper advantage, would buy you another cabinet if you needed it

SAERAN CHOI: doesn't really get it but supports you!!, he wouldn't say anything at first or think anything of it, it wasn't until he opened your cabinet and one fell (he apologized so many times), you knew your collection was quite much but you really didn't want to just stop, saeran came up with the smart idea of turning your old mugs into succulent planters, if you'd buy a mug you'd have to turn one into a planter, it was a win for both of you and allowed you to share a hobby with saeran, in his own saeran way

SAEYOUNG CHOI: would lovingly make fun of you for it, and when your cabinets started getting cluttered, he'd hold a little intervention for you, you tried to convince him that you did need all of these mugs, he wasn't buying it, in an attempt you'd challenge him that you wouldn't buy any mugs if he wouldn't buy any more cars, the thing about saeyoung is that he lives for challenges like these, you two had a bet on who would break first, you both tried to tempt each other by showing off rare cars/mugs to the other, the bet went on for a good while, none of you wanted to lose, saeyoung was eliminated but not in the way that you expected, instead of buying a car... he bought you a mug, he bought you a silly long cat mug after having a series of rough days to cheer you up

V / KIM JIHYUN: he'd have a hard time saying no to you buying a mug, seeing you so happy and bright just because of a silly mug was so warming to him, he just loved seeing you happy because it made him happy, however your mug collection was growing out of control, while cooking one night with him you asked him to hand you a measuring cup, he opened multiple cabinets to just mugs, he'd eventually found it but asked you if you'd consider donating your old ones, you were hesitant, you loved your big collection but it was getting out of hand, you ended up agreeing and went the next day to multiple thrift stores and charities to donate, you did ended up taking just a few home that were there, but doing something nice for the community with v was a big highlight

VANDERWOOD: didn't understand why you needed a mug with a silly image inked onto it, he couldn't wrap his head over why you can't just use a plain mug, you tired to explain that it enhances the overall experience of having a warm drink, wasn't convinced, tried to convince you to cutdown but you just kept saying you didn't have an absurd amount (you did), he'd eventually give in and ignore it, but seeing you so happy over something so insignificant made him happy, not that he'd mention or say so (tsundere moment cough), later on you'd begin to find random mugs in your cabinet, you were certain you'd never bought them though they were very cute, you'd ask vanderwood the next time he was around about them, he'd deny ever bring them there and just say you must of forgot buying them, you knew that wasn't the case, the only possibility was he would sneak them in, and that he would, he'd take note of you top favorites and bring you one similar

YOOSUNG KIM: yet another enabler, like everyone else he loved seeing you happy, it didn't help that his main love language was gift giving, on top of all the mugs you'd buy yourself, he'd get you four more, he'd also be a big fan of cute matching mugs, after telling him that your cabinets started becoming full of just mugs, he offered to keep some at his place for when you come visit, but soon his cabinets begin to be mostly just mugs, you had to come to your senses or else the both of you would be buried in so many mugs, you combed through your collection together, getting rid of ones you were okay to part with, yoosung was a little sad to part ways with your mugs, even if you kept all the ones he gifted, he was so used to gifting you mugs it was almost an routine, he had to find the next little thing he'd gift you

ZEN / HYUN RYU: he thought your obsession with mugs was very cute, he'd even gift you a couple when he could, if he was working he'd ask production if they had any mugs with the logo of the project he was working on, even if you were cute about it he knew he had to tell you to hold off just a little bit, your collection was starting to eat the kitchen cabinets, you had him help you talk yourself out of buying mugs whenever you two went out, that was easier said than done, he'd see your eyes light up with pure happiness and bliss whenever you saw a mug you liked, he'd try to remind you that you were holding off but whenever you looked at him it broke him, he'd see your loving puppy dog eyes (even if they weren't intentional) and debate on just this one, that mostly turned into one mug each time you both went out, in zen's books at least it was better than nothing

[natasha-in-space]

can I request an imagine about saeyoung comforting you when you're sick? 😤

Ayyy one of my favorites tropes! :D

"What are you doing here...?"

This was somewhat of a dumb question coming from you, but your mind was just too groggy and fatigued with illness to think rationally at the moment. You had been stuck in your bed for the whole day now, getting up only to use the bathroom or drink some water in between your feverish naps. This was one of those days that you just wanted to pass by you as quickly as possible so that you could get on with your life as if nothing has even happened soon after. Nobody likes getting sick, yet it's a part of human experience that you just have to suffer through, whether you want to or not.

You could hear your partner chuckle slightly under his breath as he came into the room and closed the door behind him as quietly as possible so as to not disturb you too much with an unwanted noise.

"Oh, just checking up on my sick little alien, that's all."

Taking a seat beside your bed, Saeyoung pressed his hand to your sweaty forehead, making you lean into his cool touch out of pure instinct. You must have looked like a complete mess right now, considered the fact that you have not left your bed for the entire day. Well, it's not like you cared much about that right now, anyways. Either way, you could see concern slowly rising in his eyes as he studied you carefully, like a true doctor assessing you from just one look alone.

He would make a handsome doctor... Or a very pretty nurse at that...

Oh God, this fever is making you think of a few very bizarre things-

"Ugh, I told you to just leave me alone for the day... I don't want to get you sick as well." You groaned, shutting your eyes tightly and turning your burning face to the opposite direction from the redhead that was slowly filling your every thought like a different sort of sickness. If there's one good thing out of this fever, it's that he probably couldn't tell the difference between your feverish blush and the embarrassed one. "I'm just going to sleep all day and hope that my body does all the work for me."

"Who says you can't do exactly that, though?" You could hear him shuffling about, probably cleaning up all the used up tissues that were scattered about on your nightstand. "You can just lay there and get better, while I bring you anything you need, so that you don't have to strain yourself. And I'm sure Saeran wouldn't mind cooking you up some yummy soup that's going to do wonders to your tummy! You're acting like you're living all alone, when it's obviously not the case."

Despite your resolve, you could feel yourself starting to smile as the images of what your partner was describing slowly formed in your mind, making your chest feel warm and fuzzy at the notion of being cared for like that. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just... let go and let others take care of you for once. And you did miss having company around you, even if you tried to deny it. Being sick sucked, but it sucked even more if you're dealing with the struggles of it all by yourself.

"...Okay. That actually sounds... kinda nice. Thank you, Saeyoung."

You gave him a tired but warm smile, which he returned with one of his own, running a hand through your messy hair and making you sigh in satisfaction as result of his pleasant touch. "That's a good kitten.*

Soon after, you found yourself sitting up in your bed, prepped up by a few pillows and holding a plushie of your hacker boyfriend close to your chest, with the real Saeyoung carefully placing a bowl of steaming porridge on your now neatly stacked bedside.

"What's that?" You asked, rubbing at your eyes and trying to sniff out any distinguishing scents from the dish, only to fail miserably due to your clogged up nose.

God, you hated being sick.

"Saeran decided to make you a bowl of dakjuk, and since cooking is a field of science too advanced for my genius brain, I decided to go along with my little bro's suggestion. Smells amazing, so I'm sure you'll feel better in no time! I wonder if he'll cook the same for me if I get sick..." He placed a hand to his chin, as if he was lost deep in thought, making you giggle at his adorable display.

"I'm sure he would, love. It's a shame I won't be able to taste it fully, though." You replied, smiling warmly at the thought. Saeran's care showed in his actions more than anything. You were certain that he'd be more than willing to help his brother get better, albeit not nursing him back to health directly. "Will you feed me?"

Saeyoung winked at you, booping your nose with a tip of his finger. "You don't even have to ask, my cutest patient! Doctor Choi will take utmost care of you and your soup."

Can't forget about the soup.

Even despite your sickness, you could feel the overwhelming warmth and smooth texture of a porridge-like mixture filling your mouth, making you close your eyes and appreciate the cozy flavor of this dakjuk to the best of your abilities. Gulping down the first spoonful, you nodded with approval, your eyes twinkling with happiness for the first time today. "Mm! You know, even if I can't taste much, I can tell that that's a very good dakjuk. Do tell Saeran that I loved it, okay?"

"Oh, I already did before I brought it here." He shrugged, making you raise an eyebrow in a silent question. "I know Saeran's food is going to be amazing, so why wait, eh?"

"You're impossible sometimes." You snickered, playfully rolling your eyes at him. Saeran's annoyed glare was all you could picture at the back of your mind, only making you want to laugh even more.

Once you've finished your porridge, Saeyoung tucked you back into bed, although you had to shoo him away before he could place a kiss to your lips as he usually did. You did promise him to double your daily kisses once you get better in response to the put he gave you, but you definitely did not want your partner to get sick because of you, which is why a small sacrifice had to be made. You chattered between yourselves for about a hour more about this and that, jumping from one topic to another, as it often happened whenever you two started up a conversation. Listening to Saeyoung babbling away excitedly about his day or his interests always did put a smile on your face.

"I love you." You murmured, squeezing his hand in yours and slowly closing your eyes once more, drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

A content smile adorned your flushed face as you felt him place a single loving kiss to the warm skin of your forehead, before caressing the back of your hand with his thumb. "I love you too, kitten. Get better for me so that I can kiss you properly the first thing tomorrow morning, okay?"

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 13-- Leaves

“This is so exciting,” you gush, tearing the sticky label off of your brand-new rake. You take a moment to appreciate the sharpness and the straightness of the tines— they won't stay that way for long, if experience serves you. “Our first fall together! And we have our very own yard to rake!” It's a strange milestone, but as far as you're concerned, it's a milestone all the same.

Saeran grins at you, endeared. “I'm looking forward to it,”  he assures you. “Though it's going to be new for me.”

You shrug. “It's really not that difficult,” you announce, “At least, not from what I remember… I’m pretty rusty, too. I haven’t had to do this since high school.” You’ve been living in the middle of the city for a while, and though you’ve gotten very good at sweeping the balconies of various apartments, you haven’t had to seriously worry about leaves for quite some time now. “But I did learn to rake leaves in elementary school, so maybe it’s one of those skills that sticks with you, like riding a bike.”

“You were doing chores like this when you were that young?” Saeran asks, surveying the yard. It's not too bad— the big tree near the garden has just started to drop its first leaves, but you figure that if the two of you make a day of it, going out and collecting all the leaves every week or so, the task won't become too big.

“I mean, I was trying,” you shrug, “I wasn't very good at it, but I had a lot of fun raking them into little piles and jumping in— we could do that, too, if you want, but there might not be enough leaves yet, so we’d have to wait until the tree really gets going.” 

“That does sound like fun, darling,” Saeran admits, giving your hand a small squeeze before returning his attention to the yard. “How should we start?”

To be honest, with all of his gardening experience, you were surprised when Saeran first told you that he'd never raked leaves before, but the more you thought about it, the more sense it made— as Ray, he was allowed to tend the gardens at Magenta, but there were other believers officially assigned to the task, and the grounds there were so sprawling that Rika likely would have considered it counterintuitive to have him spend so much time away from his computer when someone with fewer responsibilities could easily have done it. Of course, even if you didn't understand, you wouldn't say anything about it to Saeran— your general philosophy is that he can tell you what he wants to when he wants to, and that can be that. It’s his decision what he wants to share with you or keep to himself about his time at Magenta, and you won’t press him for any more than that.

“Well, what I like to do is to rake one horizontal line— maybe up by the flower beds?— and then do vertical lines the length of the yard to finish it up. Then we'll have a long pile of leaves that we can just rake onto a tarp or into garbage bags to add to the compost heap— after we jump in them, of course.” You use hand gestures to aid your explanation, which would probably be a bit confusing without them.

Saeran nods; he seems to understand regardless of your erratic explanation style. “Of course, my love. Let's do that.” With the two of you working, it doesn't take too long to clear the yard of leaves at all. Perhaps your childhood memories of entire afternoons spent cleaning up leaves were slightly exaggerated in the depths of your mind—  or perhaps you've just grown a lot since then. Maybe it's the fact that you have help— regardless, you're happy that you can share this moment with Saeran. 

Once all the leaves are piled up, you take the liberty of flopping into them with a thud. “Okay, you know what, honey? That wasn’t as fun as I remember it being.” You’re laying on your back amid the leaf pile, which is really more of a leaf area— there aren’t quite enough leaves yet for a proper pile.

Saeran, who apparently has much more common sense than you do, lowers himself down into the leaves by your side at a much more controlled rate. Consequently, there is much less thudding involved. “I had fun,” he assures you, “Since I got to spend time with you.” 

“Spending time together is always nice,” you agree, staring up at the clouds. You don’t need Saeran to tell you that he’s also cloud gazing— you can just tell. “Even if we’re doing chores.” 

“Mhm,” he agrees. “No matter what we’re doing, I’m happy to be by your side.” 

You reach over to squeeze his hand, though your train of thought is quickly derailed by a passing cloud. “That one kind of looks like a mug, doesn’t it?” You point with your free hand. 

Saeran examines the cloud in question. “It’s more like an elephant,” he decides. 

“An elephant?” You can’t help but laugh. “No, there’s the cup part,” you trace the outline in the air, “And there’s the handle.” 

“That’s the trunk, my love,” Saeran argues good-naturedly, “It’s clearly an elephant.” 

“No, babe, it’s obviously a mug,” you retort, “It’s making me want hot chocolate.”

“Hm,” Saeran considers the cloud once more, “It still looks like an elephant, but I won’t complain about hot chocolate.” 

“We probably have to get up, then,” you groan, rising so that you’re propped up on your elbows. “Would you rather hold the tarp or rake the leaves onto it?” 

“I’m fine with either, darling,” he assures you, “I’ll be thinking about hot chocolate the whole time.” 

“Alright, whatever you say.” You grin. You’re probably going to be thinking about hot chocolate, too. 

[marshmallowprotection]

“are you blushing?! that’s adorable.” For GE Saeran please

Saeran practically beamed cheek from cheek as he leaned over you. There was hardly any room for you to think about anything but how close he was to you. He was so close that there was no way for you to tell which heartbeat was pumping wildly out of control, his or yours. 

You didn't want to look away, but you could feel your heart beating out of your chest the longer he stared at you with such sincerity.

It might have been mortifying to have him realize just how easy it was to make you blush, but there was a part of you that knew he knew he could do that well before where you were today. He didn't stop paying attention to everything you did, so he probably noticed long before you did that your instinctual reaction to the butterflies in your chest whenever he giggled was to turn beat red.

Every time he looked at you like that, the only thing you wanted to do was ask him to never look away for the rest of your lives.

It was selfish but to have him smile at you made you feel like you were walking on sunshine. However, he was the one who taught you that it was more than okay to be selfish, and he learned the same from you, so why in the world couldn't you enjoy the sweet moment together?

"Are you blushing? That's adorable," he cooed.

You glanced away, but you didn't turn away from his embrace. "What about it? I think it's wonderful to hear you laughing. You haven't had the opportunity to do that freely for a long time, either. Why wouldn't I be stunned by the sound of something that was once suppressed?"

Why wouldn't you be overwhelmed by the sound of his laughter? It was a blessing. He deserved to be able to laugh like that for the rest of his life.

"I'll keep laughing... because I'm lucky to have you in my life."

[anas-tasiaa]

Another day another love for them

Never wanted a family other than Saeran???

My everything??? HELLO????

TELL ME HOW I COULDN’T LOVE THEM??? 

Their unshakeable, unwavering affection for one another? There was not a single doubt in their minds about their love. They would eventually find their way back to each other, no matter their circumstances or difficulties, since that is what they pledged when they were young. 

Do you say their love isn't pure and's not something to cherish? Saeyoung's passion for Saeran is evident throughout the story; no matter whatever route we take, even in the seasonal chatrooms, his thinking, thoughts, promise, words, and longing are all about Saeran. He has dedicated himself to Saeran's protection and will go to any length to keep Saeran safe, even if it means sacrificing his happiness or putting himself in danger. He mastered complex things about a computer, so Saeran wouldn't; He gave up everything so that Saeran could be happy. He provided everything he had so that Saeran might have everything he desired. You know how much he despises his job, but if it means Saeran is happy, then so be it. There is so much to discuss and list, but it would take 37364748 slides in PowerPoint ok.

SAEYOUNG IS WILLING TO GIVE HIS LIFE FOR SAERAN

Like, seriously, he's so devoted yet so loving.

His love for Saeran is literally the theme of Mystic Messenger. Every route, every time. It was Saeran's presence that he yearned for.

Yoosung's route (unexpected encounter)

Jumin's route (Unexpected encounter)

His own route (obviously)

V's route (He suspected that Ray is Saeran & waited for 2 years to finally reunite with Saeran)

Ray's route (All the issues with Saeejong and his first thought is "Is saeran safe?")

Christmas DLC (He hates Christmas because Saeran isn't with him. He wants to believe Saeran is happy out there)

Valentine's DLC (Saeyoung's doll with "brother" as the name)

Birthday chatroom special (Castor and Pollux)

Chuseok season chatroom (He wishes at the moon for Saeran's happiness)

As for Saeran, man, do we have to explain this??? He CLEARLY, DEFINITELY, CERTAINLY adores Saeyoung with all his heart.

I don't know why this fandom depicted Saeran as irritated as he can be when his Saeyoung is present??? Like, please understand that this is merely a stage in his recovery journey, not a personality attribute. He pushes Saeyoung away out of fear that he will be hurt again and as a self-defence mechanism, but he doesn’t hate Saeyoung. He just needs time to be "himself" again. He adores Saeyoung as much as Saeyoung adores him. Saeran's feelings for Saeyoung are strongly ingrained; even after days of brainwashing, he couldn't truly hate Saeyoung. He longs for a connection with him. He waited YEARS for Saeyoung. Let's be honest:

He missed Saeyoung.

He wants to be like Saeyoung.

He adored Saeyoung's unwavering love and his optimistic side.

He waited years for Saeyoung without losing hope.

He doesn't want happiness if that means Saeyoung wouldn't be there with him.

He would feel secure, safe and loved if Saeyoung was there with him.

He chooses Saeyoung over happiness.

He lives with his weak body at Mint Eyes because he is determined to return to Saeyoung; he wants explanation and reassurance.

He mentioned the betrayal every time he met Saeyoung because it was painful, like his half was ripped apart. 

He wants nothing more than not to burden Saeyoung with his problem.

He wants to die with him (Yoosung's route)

He feels terrible for hurting Saeyoung with his words.

He loves ice cream because of Saeyoung.

He loves the first sky he saw with Saeyoung.

He wants to give Saeyoung a geranium (a flower with the meaning, "I'm happy because of you.")

He smiled at the photo Rika took for him because he thought Saeyoung would like it.

He wants a camera to take a picture of Saeyoung and keep it so he can see it when Saeyoung is far away.

He learned computer stuff because he wanted to be closer to him.

He feels safe and sound with Saeyoung beside him. (His confession in 707 BRE2)

He loves fireworks and doesn't want Saeyoung to die before him, or he would be so sad.

He's willing to forgive Saeyoung.

He wants to live together with Saeyoung, just two of them. Like what they promised

He doesn't hate Saeyoung. HE IS NOT. He loves him so much that he's willing to give Saeyoung another chance, even though he's scared of being hurt. Even though he waited for years. There's no one, ever, who saved him the way Saeyoung did. He's his savior.

Man, I wish them a happy life together, just two of them, somewhere far, away from troubles. Live the life you love, my sons. I love you two so much. 

[married-to-google-translater]

I write this now for V and Ray.

Yoosung and Zen are here

Jeahee and 707 are here

Jumin and Saeran are here

Yandere V/ Jihyun kim

Oh, our yandere boy would be really sad.

V just can't accept this.

He really needs you.

You are the new light in his life.

His new reason to live.

His undying love is real.

V really thought that of course you accept his feelings.

He just can't understand why you wouldn't accept.

Did he do something wrong?

V would need reasons.

It's time to do something that every person whose feelings are rejected does.

So start hinting that if you don't love him, he has no reason to live.

Completely normal and nothing to worry about.

( This was sarcasm. )

If this doesn't work V might kidnap you.

Of course, being kidnapped is not nice.

He just can't live without you.

V is sure you understand him.

Eventually.

He makes you understand.

Yandere Ray

Ahahahahahaha.

Did you think v had a bad reaction.

You really haven't seen anything.

Ray would be really upset.

He can't understand why you don't love him.

Who could fall in love with their kidnapper?

Ray really wouldn't let you leave him.

This man could literally hang on to your leg and beg you not to leave him.

Please.

He does almost anything.

However, if you try to leave, Ray is forced to act in a "desperate" way.

Most likely he will stun you and chain you to the bed.

Ray later apologizes.

He hopes you understand.

Don't cry.

He would bring you lots of flowers.

If you want, you can also get hugs.

[brighteststar707]

Save Seven but kill Saeran and having to live with Seven witnessing what you've done, or save Saeran but kill Seven which is what the latter would want but he's the love of your life? (I'm not really sorry I'm doing this to you and Lola💞)

Xela you CANNOT do this to me😭

You've given me a lose lose situation here. Let's see...

If I pick option one, no matter what reason I had for killing Saeran (for my sake, let's say self defense or something Mint Eye related), I lose Saeyoung. No matter how much he loved me before, I will always be the person who killed his brother. There is no coming back from that, I've basically put him in his nightmare scenario.

(Not to bring my other favourite franchise into this, but it's very Katniss and Gale at the end of Mockingjay)

We've seen what he was like during V's ending. Drinking to cope, mask all the way up, attempted murder as revenge. Hanging on for any chance that Saeran is still alive. For better or for worse, Saeyoung has tied his worth to Saeran and his safety, and having 'failed' at his only task, he will become a shell of himself. Imagine him in that situation, now also with the knowledge that the person he loves did that. There's no way he doesn't hold it against me, even subconsciously.

The worst case scenario is...not good. We'd never see each other again and I'd lose him even after saving him (that is if he doesn't try to avenge Saeran first). At best, our relationship is very strained. There is this unsaid baggage between us and our relationship is never the same again. We wouldn't last.

Otherwise, I kill Saeyoung to save Saeran. I can all but hear him yelling at me to choose this one (self sacrificing bastard).

It's the short way around to getting mostly the same effect as option one. I lose the love of my life and am left with nothing but heartbreak and trauma.

The only upside is that he dies on his own terms, and with the knowledge that the two people he loves the most are still alive. This is literally his life's purpose, if you ask him. (though I have a lot to say about that)

If Saeran ever forgives me, we might try and recover from that trauma together and then try to live life? But it's not going to be fun. If he doesn't, I probably would have to leave and try to move on from this event alone.

Hm... (I'm desperately looking for an option three right about now)

From the outside, it's easier to say that I'd choose option two because it's the one that he wants. But realistically, could I look the love of my life in the eye and kill him? Probably not.

So I guess that's my answer. I kill Saeran and have to live with Saeyoung's hurt and the what ifs of it for the rest of my life. We do NOT live happily ever after.

(currently wishing I had two faves you could have pitted against each other instead of this 💔)

[asterjennifer]

@puwey on Tumblr

Mystictober 2022 | Day 10 - Camera

Summary: After a storm comes a rainbow; it fits them both very well.

Together they learn to appreciate their hobbies in new light.

─────◇◇◇★◇◇◇─────

They're still getting used to the functions that the new cameras brought with them; it's bizarre for Saeran to watch the one being professional in photography sturggle with some settings.

“Is it hard, V?” He wondered as he titled his head, soft bleached hair falling over his forehead more.

The older guardian raised his left hand to angel the camera's display better. “Ah, I wouldn't say hard,” A click filled the open air. “It's just.. I have to admit the touchscreen is something I haven't worked with yet.”

He mumbled, sunlight coloring his minty hair slightly more blueish in Saeran's eyes. Scanning his own camera between his hands, he let the stare wander over the sea of buttons and wheels. He couldn't deny it's overwhelming to hold more than his phone in order to capture the nature around them up in their secret place.

It had been Saeran's idea, although it came off more shy than desired. However, V immediately overflew with excitement when happiness crossed his facial features. Up there, with only the two of them after such draining events; it's surreal to the younger twin most of the time. But his friend never failed proving reality either way.

So when they stood in a wild field, overgrown by many apple trees and the sea of daisies under their feet, this doubt followed even as the white blossoms brushed his ankles. Luckily for him; V's right there next to him. Struggling with the camera just as much and he already felt better.

“Alright!” V smiled relieved. “I figured it out. You want me to show you?” Saeran's eyes blinked once the other looked over.

Why did it take so long to live such a trivial life? How come they all needed pure destruction before becoming aware what really mattered in the end? He's not better than them; neither are they supreme to him. It's giving and taking that went beyond everyone's control and left him, specifically, with a mark on his body.

The waving hand in front of his face pulled him back into reality. “Saeran? Are you okay?” He stared at him a moment longer, a smile following.

“Yes, sorry.” And also a little bit of blush crept over his cheeks when reaching out the camera to V. “Just spaced out. Please, show me what I have to do exactly.”

After a few steps; V started pointing to the different buttons on the left side. “This is for filters,” He explained depsite Saeran's silence responding. Could he tell by now it didn't explicitly meant confusion? How time passed by.

The young man focused on the explanations well and V held it back out. “Was it understable? Not too fast?”

Saeran shook his head in appreciation. “Not at all, I think I got the hang of it. Thanks.” V found himself chuckling, remembering that outstanding talent of the twins to learn faster than any other person he'd ever met.

“I'm glad then.” He lifted his own to the right eye, focusing through the lense and watching this enormous filed of nature the way he's used to.

Saeran initiated him somewhat; instead of just going for it though, he kneeled down. Thinking what the first thing should be to capture with his brand new device. The sky because it's his favorite? The flowers to perhaps make a book of flower languages one day? Or one of the tress in order to learn setting the focus correctly?

Attention drifted and he ended up gazing at V again; already observed in his element. It then sparkled the idea in the corner of Saeran's mind; had anyone ever taken a photo of V in his times where he's working out his job? He couldn't remember that to be the case.

V could feel something nagging at his bones soon enough. It made him look around to see if his paranoia's simply another leftover of the past. But no, it surprised him finding the lense of Saeran's camera being pointed at no other than him.

“What are you doing?” He wheezed out of breath and the young man peeked a quick glimpse over before hiding behind the screen again. “Capturing your commitment.”

Was his offer. “It would be a great reminder for me to know who you really are.” V's bright eyed widened, his heart pounding lightly due to the wamrth inside of it. How grateful he was.. could Saeran truly capture that?

Paying it no more mind, V also kneeled down to get his camera on his height. “Then let me return the favor.” It caught Saeran off guard and therefore the picture ended up showing his bright blush as he rose back up.

When V came over to show Saeran, they both couldn't help but laugh about his facial expression. So, so red. The younger twin showed his own photo and V's obviously impressed which boosted his confidence immensely. “I like this, V.”

Saeran chimed amazed, having the older one place one hand onto his shoulder. “If you find joy in taking photos, then what more is there to be happy about? I'm glad you like it. And thank you for trying it out with me, Saeran.”

[racco]

Saeran,707, Zen - waking up from nightmares headcanons

Gen neutral reader

[ includes major spoilers ]

Saeran (unknown)

♤((for context, he is still in mint eye here))

♤ He has nightmares every night of what Rika does to him

♤ Wakes up with a scream and headache, at first hated to admit and talk about these moments of his but if it was a really bad nightmare somehow Ray takes over for a bit and doesn't push you away so violently

♤ Of course he thinks it's selfish to even imagine you would care but let himself indulge a bit

♤ It helps him to get his mind away from it with anything he can, whether it's a sensory touch like petting your hair to keep him grounded to the real world or smeeling the sweet scent of your perfume/flowers from the garden which smell nice and sweet, not bitter like the elixir

♤ He would talk very little and rather have you speak if you want to, he doesn't mind either way but he's scared if he speaks he will scare you away

♤ At first refuses to go to sleep again (it's not like he has a bed anyways he just sleeps at his desk chair) buy if you say you also won't go to sleep if he doesn't he'll start feeling bad for taking rest away from you, so he might try falling asleep next to you then

Saeyoung (707)

♧ Only has nightmares when he's very stressed with work

♧ And they are always about his childhood and how he had to leave Saeran behind, sometimes he feels as if his nightmares are him living throughout Saerans eyes when he was young

♧ Sadly most of the nightmares are actually just memories that he wished would have stayed long forgotten

♧ After he wakes up he speaks about his nightmares (not in great detail but enough of an explanation for you to understand)

♧ Would need words of affirmation afterwards

♧ I would say after getting reassured he would be able to go to sleep quickly

♧ And would squeeze you the rest of the night for sure, just to make sure he's keeping you safe

Zen

☆ Happens much more rare than the others

☆ After he ran away and made his career he didn't let the past affect him as much, he is now pleased with his life

☆ But if he ever has nightmares it's about his career failing and everyone hating/forgetting him afterwards (or just silly scary stories lolol)

☆ Wakes up more silently and startes at you for a bit trying to calm down, if he wakes you up too he will ask for you to hold him, rub his hand, etc. (Physical touch) even though he at first thinks it's silly and that he should be a shinning knight and do these for you instead (he too deserves to be pampered once In a while tho )

☆ Wouldn't always tell you what the nightmare was about if it wasn't just some scary story but might give you a quick rundown but then tell you not to worry your pretty little head about it

☆ He remembers how on other nights like these he instead would have just went out to smoke and drink, maybe even ride his motorcycle for a while, but now there's no more need for these since he gains back his peace by being next to you

☆ + next morning does some face masks saying it stressed him out too much and he's afraid of getting wrinkles lolol