#She can live her life however she likes. And her not wanting to live at the fishbowl for a bit was okay

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

Was talking with a client tonight (the one who I'm basically talking through coming out) and she keeps doing the "oh what if I only want to be a girl sometimes :(((( actually I don't tooooootally hate being a man every second of my waking life, sometimes I dont feel anything at all" and then she was like "ask me if I want to be a girl" and i responded with "do you want to be a woman," and like her answer to those two questions were obviously very different and I think it speaks to the fact that like, we internally know and understand the stakes of transition, right?

Like we understand that by doing the thing for real, by becoming a transsexual or by coming out at work or in our larger lives that we become a target and the way the world interacts with us is going to fundamentally change. Many of us were acted upon as faggots before we came out, but many of us weren't. For some of us, it is a much larger step down than others.

But no matter what our lives were like before, once we start to do the damn thing, the world is going to act upon us as women. And it's easy to stick in the fantasy--a life of being oneself without all that, living in our mind palace where we get to be 'girls' without having to be women--but until we actually acknowledge and accept what transition means for us materially, we have no hope of actually achieving it.

And once we do accept that, the question becomes "is it worth it?" For many of us, the answer is quite clear--the other choice was death by one form or another. But for others, especially those of us who are slightly older, the question becomes more difficult. There may be something for us to lose here. And if you fall into that second group, I ask you this:

Sure, you can live with it. You can keep going, as you have proved yourself able to do for however long you have done it thus far. You may be able to keep yourself stuffed in a box, only taking yourself out for the odd hour here and the odd hour there. You can keep going as you are. But do you want to? Is external ease worth more than internal peace?

They say courage is not 'acting without fear,' but rather 'acting despite fear.' Transition is scary and I can't deny that. But I think you have it within yourself to be courageous.

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

Hello! I don't know if requests are open, I'm sorry, but I have a request 🥹 You can ignore it if you want!

Imagine the reader dyeing her hair, and Logan doesn't really understand the concept, but thinks she looks really pretty, and then she asks him to dye the back part where she can't see 😭❤️‍🩹 just cute and loving

My requests are always open!

Logan always loved your hair. He thought you always had it so pretty, even when you just woke up and it was all over the place. He loved whatever shampoo you used it always made it so soft and smelt sweet. You changed your hair often and it always turned out amazing, Logan just assumed that you went to the salon to get your hair done, he knew that you did your nails at home you said it was too expensive to go out and get them done professionally so you just did it at the house. He hated the smell of the polish, but he did love seeing you having pretty nails, so he put up with it and sometimes he even helped paint your right hand. However, he had just assumed you got your hair done professionally, he never saw you do your hair at the house at it just looked too well done for an amateur.

He has been getting upset with you lately, and he didn't know how to tell you.

He always wanted to be the one who took care of you. He wanted to provide for you, no matter the cost or what it was. He just wanted you to have whatever you wanted in life, but you kept denying his offers to get your hair done. He was about to just make an appointment at some random salon and drive you there for it so you would stop arguing with him over dumb stuff like money.

.

.

He just got off work and was walking into the house, ready to not back down from the fight he knew was coming, but as he was walking into the house, a strong smell overwhelmed his senses. He groaned and scrunched up his nose "the fuck is that smell??"

You nearly jumped out of your skin hearing Logan so soon. "Logan! You weren't supposed to be home for another hour!" You rushed back to the bathroom to try and clean up some of the hair product you've been using and to open the window to air out the room as best as you could.

"What is that smell?" Logan asked again, still not knowing what he was smelling. You cringed slightly and turned to him with the bowl of hair dye in your hands. "I was doing my hair, just a touch-up, but I-I thought you weren't going to be home for a while, so I thought I'd have time to air the house out. I know you're sensitive to smells and just assumed that the dye would be too strong for you."

Logan felt his heart swell slightly, hearing that you took his enhanced smell into consideration. "Do...do you need help?" He asked sort of bashfully. He took the bowl from your hand gently and mixed the dye with the brush. He cringed slightly from the smell, but he was ready to push through it to help you.

"Could you get the back for me? I don't think I got all of it" you turned around and showed him the back of your head and he bit back a laugh when he saw you missed a section of hair.

"Yeah, I got it, baby." he just told himself that he was painting... sort of? He really didn't know what he was doing, but he didn't want to mess up, so he just really lathered the dye on your hair and tried to not get it all over your skin. When he was done, he set the bowl down and tapped your shoulders, "Okay, I think I'm done now what?" You explained that you needed to set a timer and that you'd wash it out after it goes off. He nods and sets the timer for you.

He likes to think he is a patient man after living all of his years, but those 30 minutes felt like 30 years. Once the timer finally went off, he helped you wash your hair and watched as you dried and styled it. He was always excited to see how you ended up doing your hair but this time he was even more excited to see how it turned out and once you showed him how it turned out he couldn't help but feel pride knowing he was the one who helped you.

Taglist:

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[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

i feel like some of the fandom is a bit harsh on Monty... like, trauma is definitely not an excuse, but it does give pretty much all of his actions an understandable explanation?

like... Monty was actively being abused by Esther in practically any scene they were together. he said something she didn't like, and she yelled and grabbed him threateningly. both of the times she transformed him, from crow to human and then back again, she literally stabbed and ripped him up in a really gory way.

i sure wonder why an evil witch's familiar who's constantly treated like that would follow her orders even if he disagreed with them!!

and considering that Esther is potentially one of the only humans Monty came into contact with before meeting the others, and she's like that - he turned out alright, didn't he? he's petty, a bit rude sometimes, and takes things personally, but generally, he's a shockingly decent person.

yes, he didn't take it well when Edwin rejected him. but, as others have pointed out - how was Monty genuinely meant to know any better? he had lived his whole life as a crow in a cage too small for him, where the only person he knew was his extremely nasty and cruel owner. and then, all of a sudden, he's forced into a new body and has humanity thrust upon him against his will. he explicitly expressed this discomfort himself when Esther degraded him for getting "too emotional" for her liking.

"i never asked to be human. with all these... feelings."

even after the bitterness of the rejection, Monty never actually wanted to hurt the Dead Boy Detectives. turns out, he didn't even know that Esther's plan intended to end them completely, and was so horrified upon finding out that he made an attempt to lead them to safety, which was, by the way, putting himself at massive risk. Esther already punished him likely under the assumption that he just didn't put enough effort into manipulating them - can you imagine what she'd have done to him if she knew about his last-minute attempt to actually save them?

of course, i don't think Edwin was wrong for not forgiving Monty. he deserved that. Monty still helped in the scheme that aimed to destroy him. he also fully deserved to reject Monty if he wanted to (conversely, i do also see people say that Edwin "could have handled it better," but honestly, i don't know if it's just me not being neurotypical or something, but i genuinely do not see how Edwin could have been nicer about it? he was straightforward and polite, then afterwards, still tried to be Monty's friend until the betrayal.)

however, Monty was still very much a victim himself, and any harm he did was not from his own will, instead motivated by fear of the terrifying witch who had him fully reliant upon her, often through both verbal and physical force. Esther never hesitated to hurt him. he was painfully aware of that. she didn't care about him beyond how useful he could be. and when he failed at that, her reaction was violent.

but he didn't have anyone else.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Could Saurondriel actually happen in Tolkien lore? 

@historical-romances9 asked me to elaborate on how and if Sauron x Galadriel could/would work, according to Tolkien lore, or if it’s was even possible to actually happen because many “lorebros” are always whining about the impossibility of it because Galadriel is an Elf, and they “mate for life”, and Sauron is an evil spirit obsessed with power, and uncapable of “human like” feelings, and that “Rings of Power” is an abomination to the Professor’s lore for giving these two characters romantic and sexual undertones.

Tolkien’s writings about wedding, love and sex among the Eldar (Elves) can be found in “Morgoth’s Ring, Part III. The Later Quenta Silmarillion: (II) The Second Phase: Laws and Customs among the Eldar.”  

Argument #1: “Galadriel can’t have romantic feelings for Sauron because she’s already married to Celeborn, and Elves are monogamous and mate for life!”  

Is this true? 

We know that Galadriel is already married to Celeborn (whom she believes to be dead) when she meets Sauron/Halbrand. We also know Elves marry for life (either by love of free will from both parties; an Elf can’t be forced to marry), and divorce is forbidden, especially among the Noldor. This is what Tolkien actually wrote; there is no mention of Elves being emotional monogamous (= only loving one being for the rest of their lives). 

Actually, we have textual evidence on the contrary, with Elf characters, actually, falling in love more than once in their lifetimes and even re-marrying. The Elves don’t divorce due to their history, and not because they only love one being their entire lives; and the majority of the Noldor’s problems are blamed on Fëanor’s parents' divorce. In short: Fëanor’s mother, tired of giving birth, went to the Hall of Mandos to sleep. Afterwards, Fëanor’s father asked the Valar for permission to remarry (even, though, his wife wasn’t dead). The Gods said yes, and Fëanor’s half-siblings were born, and Morgoth used Fëanor’s jealousy to drive a wedge in the family, which eventually led to disaster. And this is why the Noldor don’t divorce. 

According to Tolkien lore, it’s completely possible for Galadriel to have romantic feelings for Sauron, despite already being married to Celeborn. 

But now, one can argue that the Valar would never give their permission for Galadriel and Sauron to be married. Here’s the catch: Sauron is a fallen Maia and a servant of Melkor/Morgoth. He’s not one of faithful (he doesn’t obey Eru nor the Valar); he wouldn’t ask for their permission to do anything. Many wrongly compare Sauron to the Christian Satan, but the actual “Devil” in Tolkien’s lore is Morgoth (he’s the one who rebels against Eru, “God”, and wants to corrupt creation).  When Sauron proposed to make Galadriel his Queen, he really meant it as the "whole package deal", because his master is in the Void forever, and he doesn’t gives two f*cks about the Valar giving permission or not. Which leads me to the next point.

Argument #2: Galadriel wouldn’t ever cheat on Celeborn because adultery is unthinkable for the Elves! 

True. However, we've already established that “emotional cheating” can happen, according to the lore, and I would argue that counts as adultery as well. But, again, we are talking about a fallen Maia and a servant of Morgoth, here: Sauron doesn’t follow the Valar’s rules. And, so, Sauron sexually seducing Galadriel isn’t OOC for him, actually.

And what about Galadriel falling for his seductions? We know Galadriel is proudful and strong-willed, but she’s not immune to temptation herself. Sex, for the Elves, equals marriage, and it’s actually a requirement to officiate the union (you, kind of, like medieval traditions). And since Sauron doesn’t need anyone’s permission to marry Galadriel, this is possible to happen if she was to actually join him and be his Queen.

And if Galadriel and Sauron would to have sex (or any kind of sexual/romantic act) it has to be 100% consensual on her part (and that’s what drives the “lorebros” mad) because if Elves are SA they die (Tolkien actually wrote this).

Argument #3: “Sauron is not capable of love! He’s a Maia! He’s an evil spirit obsessed with power, and uncapable of human-like emotions!” 

Maiar were immortal spirts, yes, but they were capable of falling in love, because Melian (a Maia) fell in love with an Elf (Thingol) in Tolkien canon, and these two characters happen to be Elrond’s ancestors. This means that Mairon, the Maia of Aulë, was, indeed, capable of love.

However, Mairon was corrupted by Melkor/Morgoth, meaning his capacity to love was also corrupted. And instead of the “good” and “fluffy” side of love, Sauron is in the “dark side” of it, and his love is possessive, obsessive, jealous, and manifests in unsatisfiable lust, emotional turmoil and suffering.  

I've already talked about this before, but, in “Rings of Power”, Sauron fell in love with Galadriel while he was on his somewhat “repentant era”, and it started out as something purer, but it’s twisting into something darker as he goes deeper and deeper into evil, until it turns into hatred, later on. 

Argument #4: “Sauron can’t have sex! He doesn't care about sex! He’s a Maia!” 

Actually, Tolkien himself wrote about this, in his essay "Ósanwë-kenta”, where he brainstorms about Maiar reproduction. According to the lore, Maiar can, indeed, have sex and reproduce if they are in humanoid form (Elf, human, etc.). Tolkien discourses about Melian (Maia) and Tringol (an Elf): they had sex and a child (Lúthien), and this Half-Maia lady was also able to have sex with Beren (a human), and have children on her own (Elrond and Arwen are descendant from Lúthien and Beren). But there’s a catch: Melian created a she-elf body to be with Thingol, and she became bound to her Elf form because of this. She lost the ability to return to her spirit form, unless her physical body was killed to set her free (which was what eventually happened).

Tolkien also wrote about the corrupted Maiar by Morgoth (Sauron, Balrogs, etc.) and whenever they could take on Orc form in order to reproduce with other Orcs, in his essay “Orcs”. Here, it’s pretty much the same: they can, but if they were to actually do it, they would also be bound to their current physical form, and unable to return to their spirit/demonic form, unless they would be killed to be set free. But there’s another catch: they would be “damned”, too, and “reduced to impotence” after.  

This means that Sauron can indeed have sex with Galadriel (and impregnate her), but he would be bound to whatever current humanoid form he had at the time (Halbrand or Annatar), and, if he was to have such physical form destroyed, he would be damned afterwards (well, Eru did took away his ability to have a body after the fall of Númenor, so it, unintentionally, checks out?). 

The answer is yes: Saurondriel can work in Tolkien’s lore, under the right circumstances: 

Doomship: they love each other but can’t never be together (never act on their feelings);

Dark!Queen Galadriel: she joins Sauron and it’s pretty much the "whole package deal", with lots of obsessive love and hardcore sex.

Galadriel has a moment of weakness and has sex with Sauron; he becomes bound to Annatar form, which only gets destroyed in the fall of Númenor, but he's now "damned" and "reduced to impotence" and that's why he loses the ability to take on a full body? (Ironic how this actually fits the canon).

[kentuckyfriedmegumi]

i’m PISSED about the way gege handled megumi’s character and i wrote an entire 1k-word analysis/rant on it

i think what makes me especially mad in the way that gege has handled megumi’s character is just in how much set up we were being given. yes, megumi was taken over and suppressed for 50 chapters, but we see how he haunts the narrative.

yuji is CONSTANTLY fighting, working to get him back, it is his MAIN focus in this entire fight. yes, he wants to kill sukuna, but it’s BECAUSE he wants megumi back.

“wake up, fushiguro.” (chapter 251)

i’ll do it as many times as it takes! “wake up, fushiguro!” (chapter 263)

in addition to the long, drawn-out “save megumi” arc, we had megumi’s growth as a character before then. he starts off as someone who does not see value in his life. he would rather sacrifice himself to save his friends bc he believes that their lives are worth more than his.

we see this in how willing he is to throw away his life and summon mahoraga. he’s NOT suicidal, it’s just that he would rather that HE be the one to die than anyone else that he cares about when it comes to a deadly situation (sukuna, finger bearer, etc.)

haruta is an entirely different thing, he was already dying. people who think he was stupid for summoning mahoraga on haruta don’t realize he was literally on the verge of death when haruta pulls up and slashes him from behind.

megumi’s mindset is also PERFECTLY defined in the baseball episode and in his flashback talk with gojo in the OoBO. he’d rather play support and sacrifice himself than have someone else sacrifice themselves for him. he needs to learn to be more selfish, greedier, if he ever wants to grow as a sorcerer.

but that contradicts with how he wants to live. he’s living for tsumiki, he’s a socercer for tsumiki. he doesn’t care about getting strong or being the best, he just wants to do what he can to support her, so he doesn’t mind if he’s the sacrifice play.

until yuji. yuji comes in and he dies in the detention center, and we see meg slowly morph into this desire to become stronger. he wants to be strong so he can save people, which is something that he never really cared about doing before, but he doesn’t know how.

then we get to the exchange event, the fight with hanami, and him getting taken out by the bud curse, and he realizes that he NEEDS to be stronger so he can save people like yuji and tsumiki. this is the start of his arc and after his fight in OoBO, he never summons maho again til shibuya

after shibuya (bc there wasn’t a TON of meg development-focused stuff in that arc), we see he’s had a MAJOR growth in his abilities and CT. he’s a lot more confident in how he fights, he’s very dynamic and cunning, and he’s using the shadows in a new way.

but on the other side of it all, he’s struggling a lot internally. tsumiki is awake, but she’s been roped into the CG. he’s wavering and he needs support. he’s stronger now, but he’s not strong enough. he wants to save tsumiki, but he doesn’t know how.

“so start by saving me, itadori!” (chapter 143)

after megumi is taken over sukuna, we see him fight back. he does originally and he suppresses sukuna’s technique in order to protect yuji. however, sukuna acts specifically in a way to sink his soul and submerges him in darkness.

this is the lowest point on megumi’s character. it leads directly into chapter 251 where megumi has entirely given up. he sees no purpose in living, his entire reason for being a sorcerer is dead. yuji tries to pick him up but sukuna cuts them off and we’re left with megumi no longer wanting to live.

this makes his recovery THAT MUCH more important. this makes his character arc SO MUCH more impactful. this is why whenever we get to ch. 266, and yuji and megumi FINALLY talk, it’s a beautiful convergence of their emotions as they talk about their loss and why they feel the way that they do.

this is why it entirely pisses me OFF that after we finally, FINALLY get megumi back, he is immediately sidelined with the rest of the B cast. we don’t get any post-battle discussions, we don’t get a continuation of “i’ll be lonely without you,” we don’t even get a proper conversation between him and yuji.

all of this buildup, this setup, this constant tension between megumi and yuji saving each other and yuji doing literally anything and everything to get megumi back, it all comes to a boiling point, it’s about to spill over the pot, and then it just… ????

i actually get so SO mad thinking about the way that megumi’s character has been concluded. unless this final chapter really does touch on him, his outlook on life, and his motivations now, megumi’s character was just entirely wasted and thrown to the side of the sake of other conclusions and new plot introductions.

we don’t even get a further explanation of “i’ll try to live for someone else.” we know it’s for yuji, we know he comes back because yuji tells him he’ll be lonely. but megumi deciding to live for another person is just putting him back at square one. UNLESS we learn that it’s different.

maybe meg is living for yuji but without the self-expectation and pressure he had when he was living for tsumiki. maybe he realized that even a simple life is worth living, so he will use yuji as a crutch as he finds his purpose again again.

something. ANYTHING. any sort of convo that indicates that megumi has NOT retracted into his old self. it probably is the case where he chooses to live for yuji, but is determined to live for himself, but JESUS can we not get a convo about that????

in conclusion, megumi’s character has been so BEAUTIFULLY written. he is so tragic with so many complex motivations and ideas. and we get all this converging together at the very end and it just… disappears. it’s immediately sidelined. how fucking frustrating is that.

[kikyoupdates]

For Tomorrow's Sake ⭑˚💫⭑ 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑠𝑡'𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒

various!jjk x f!reader

reverse harem, isekai, jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader, slowburn

You never believed reincarnation was possible, least of all in the fictional world of Jujutsu Kaisen. However, from the moment you meet Gojo Satoru, it’s impossible to deny. Whether it’s a miracle or some kind of curse, you find yourself growing up alongside the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. Unfortunately, you know what the future holds in store. You know exactly what kind of tragedies await. Perhaps that’s why you were brought into this world. If it means saving people from a gruesome fate, you’ll gladly suffer in their place. You’ll do whatever it takes. All for the sake of a better tomorrow.

prologue | story masterlist | next

When faced with the demands of the strongest sorcerer, your family can’t possibly protest. Well, not that they would have wanted to, anyway. They must be happy they don’t have to deal with you anymore. 

Out of sheer spite, your mother insisted you live with the rest of the clan and be forced into a life of cruelty and discrimination, but even she would never dare defy Gojo Satoru. Besides, her wish has already been fulfilled. You still won’t have a shot at a normal life. Even if you had been given the right to choose for yourself, now that you’ve met Satoru and discovered what world this is, there’s no way you would ever take the easy way out. 

For better or worse, you will be a jujutsu sorcerer. 

True to his word, Satoru was able to convince the Gojo Clan members to let you stay with them. You’re not sure exactly what he told them, but he may as well be their deity. Granted, he’s still only a kid, but in the grand scheme of things, bringing in a single girl to stay at the estate isn’t that big of a deal. It isn’t a difficult request to fulfill. Based on the way everyone turns up their noses at the sight of you, however, you can tell they aren’t too happy about it. 

“No one here will ever hurt you,” Satoru promises. He keeps glancing over at you every few seconds as he leads you through the grounds of the estate—which is massive, might you add. He’s a lot more attentive than you were expecting. The way he’s looking at you makes you feel like you’re a weak, helpless baby bird. Which you might as well be, in all fairness. 

You nod and smile brightly. “Okay. Thank you, Satoru. I’m really happy to be here.” 

“Are your injuries really painful?” he asks with a frown. “We don’t have anyone here that knows how to convert cursed energy into positive energy. But if I try asking, maybe they can reach out to another clan and bring someone over to heal you.” 

“You don’t need to go to the trouble. I’ll be okay.” 

Satoru watches as your grin somehow gets even wider, despite the fact that the bruised, swollen parts of your face must be aching uncontrollably. He’s not sure why you’re always smiling so much. It’s not like you ever had any reason to smile. Not with how horribly your family has always treated you. 

Then again, that’s exactly what drew him in. Your warm, sunny disposition, which is so starkly different from what he’s used to. Even if it doesn’t make much sense, a smile suits you. He likes seeing you smile. 

He’s already decided that he’s going to protect that smile of yours.

You’re given a nice place to stay. Satoru insisted that you live in the same building as him. It’s obvious that he wants to keep you nearby, in case anyone dares to try anything. Although you’re willing to bet that they won’t risk upsetting him. Not when he’s made it clear that you’re off-limits. 

It’s kind of crazy how much power and authority a literal child has. 

Gojo Satoru is in a class of his own. The details of his upbringing were never openly disclosed in the anime or manga, but you know for a fact that he didn’t have anyone he could truly call a close friend. Not until he met Suguru. 

You may be hopelessly weak for now, but if nothing else, you’ll make it so that he never has to feel lonely.

That night, you settle into your big, spacious room. You didn’t bring anything along with you for the move. It’s not like you had any personal belongings to speak of. Certainly nothing valuable, either. Your new room is a bit empty right now, save for a few decorations here and there, but you resolve to brighten it up and make it your own. All in due time. 

Before you tuck in for bed, Satoru stops by. 

“Hi,” he greets, poking his head into the room. “You don’t mind if I come in for a bit, right?” 

“Of course not,” you smile. “Go right ahead.” 

He nods and steps inside. There’s a clan member waiting by the doorway, and they flash you a brief glare before turning their back towards you and sliding the door shut. As expected, you’re far from popular. They probably think you’re just a hindrance, or maybe even a distraction. You’re not sure if they’ll ever change how they feel about you, but it’s definitely better than staying with your own family. 

Besides, as long as Satoru likes you, that’s more than enough. 

“Is this room okay?” he asks, kneeling down onto a cushion. “If you don’t like it, I can get you a different room instead.” 

“It’s perfect,” you reassure. 

“Really? You can be honest. I can tell that you’re the kind of person to hide how you feel because you don’t want to upset anyone else. I already know your dad is the one who beat you, but it didn’t look like you were going to rat him out.” 

“I just didn’t want to stir up even more of a fuss. Besides, seeing other people get hurt won’t make me feel any better. I’m happy enough just to be here. Again, thank you, Satoru. For helping me.”

You sure like to thank him a lot. He’s not really used to being thanked—for anything, really. He’s being trained and brought up as the strongest sorcerer. It’s a given that he’s meant to save and protect those who are weaker than him. But you don’t take any of that for granted. You’re never shy about showing your appreciation. You want him to know how much every one of his gestures means to you. 

He likes that. He likes it a lot. 

“If it’s alright, I’m going to try and go to sleep now,” you say. “I’m pretty tired. I can hardly keep my eyes open. Oh. Did you want to spend the night in my room? Like a sleepover? Would you be allowed to do that?” 

Satoru blinks. The invitation catches him off guard, and he watches as you pat the spot beside you, on your futon, still smiling brightly. 

He turns away in a hurry, cheeks red. 

“I-It’s fine,” he stammers. “I should sleep in my own room. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. It seems like you are, so… I’ll leave now. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight,” you happily reply, but Satoru is already out the door, nearly tripping over his feet in the process. 

You giggle at the sight. He’s so adorable. You can’t even express how happy you are to be here. The future may look grim, but you’re determined to change it, no matter what it takes. 

That night, you dream of a world where Gojo Satoru is saved. 

“Satoru. Here, try this. I made yummy rice balls for us to eat. There’s a secret ingredient inside. Can you guess what it is?” 

Satoru reaches out and takes a rice ball into his hands, furrowing his brows as he looks it over. As far as rice balls go, it looks pretty normal. It’s actually rolled up really neatly. He’s surprised you made this yourself. You did a pretty good job. 

“Secret ingredient, huh?” Satoru shrugs. “Sure, I’ll try it.” 

He takes a big bite, and although he’s not really sure what he was expecting, it definitely wasn’t this. 

“Gross!” he exclaims, immediately spitting it out of his mouth and onto the ground. He then proceeds to stare at the inside of the rice ball he just bit into. “Did you… you actually put chocolate inside of this? Disgusting! What’s wrong with you?!”

You frown. “What, you mean you don’t like it? I actually think it’s pretty good. I was sure this combination would be a hit.” 

Satoru watches, horrified, as you bite into your own rice ball, smiling all the while. There might actually be something wrong with you after all. He’s starting to realize that you’re slightly unhinged. 

“Remind me not to eat anything you make ever again,” he shudders. 

“I’ll pick something better next time, don’t worry. Oh! How about this? What do you think of rice balls stuffed with ice cream—” 

“No.”

This is what most of your days look like. It’s been just over a week since you arrived at the Gojo estate. Your injuries have almost fully healed. Also, you’re no longer required to do chores at virtually every waking moment, so whenever Satoru isn’t busy with training, you spend all of your time together.

Satoru has to do a lot of different things. It’s not just honing his jujutsu abilities, day in and day out. He isn’t allowed to slack off when it comes to academics, either. It’s clear that his family intends for him to be perfect in any way possible. They refuse to let him settle for anything other than the best. 

It’s a lot of pressure for a kid. Satoru makes it look easy, but nevertheless, you feel sorry for him. Which is why you always try to make sure that he’s having fun when he’s with you. You want him to have some semblance of a childhood, at the very least. 

Of course, you still can’t grant him the freedom you wish he had. It’s always inevitable that someone gets in the middle of your time together. 

“Master Satoru. It’s time for you to work on your studies.” 

One of his usual attendants comes to pick him up. Satoru clicks his tongue in visible annoyance, but as always, he doesn’t protest. He has a strong sense of duty and purpose. A determination to uphold his responsibilities as the strongest. 

Before he leaves, though, he turns back towards you. 

“I want [Name] to come with me today,” he says. “She can at least sit in the room while I’m doing my work, right?”

The attendant blinks. He’s bewildered, of course, and you’re not sure what else to do but bat your eyes at him with a bright, hopeful expression. You may be weak, but you’d like to think that you’re a pretty cute kid. It’s about time someone developed a soft spot for you. 

“She’ll distract you,” the attendant refuses. He narrows his eyes at you in frustration, so apparently, you’re not that cute.

Satoru pauses for a moment, then grabs you by the hand and pulls you close. 

“I want her there,” he insists, interlocking his fingers with yours. “She’s coming. I’ve already decided.” 

“Master Satoru, you can’t—” 

Too late. It seems like he’s in an awfully stubborn mood today, so for better or worse, you find yourself in the same room as him while he has his lesson. 

It’s a bit awkward. Satoru told you to sit right next to him the whole time, and although he doesn’t allow himself to get distracted, it still feels weird to be sitting in on a private lesson. While the teacher glares at you the whole time, no less. 

“Do you know what the answer to this question is?” the teacher asks, pointing to one of the questions in the textbook Satoru is learning from. 

Satoru chews on the inside of his cheek, deep in thought. “It’s… B. The answer is B.” 

“Sorry. I’m afraid that’s not correct,” the teacher says. She scribbles something down onto a piece of paper. “It’s alright. That was an exceptionally advanced question, so I can’t blame you for—” 

“It’s C.” 

To be honest, you didn’t mean to voice your thoughts aloud. It was a reflexive, absentminded remark. The answer was just so obvious that you ended up blurting it out. 

But now, both Satoru and the teacher are staring at you in bewilderment.

Satoru turns towards the teacher with a frown. “Is she right?” 

“...yes,” the teacher replies, looking somewhat reluctant to do so. “But it was a multiple choice question, so I’m sure it was just luck. Let’s move on to—” 

“[Name], what about the next one?” Satoru asks, pointing towards another spot on the page. “Try answering this one, too.” 

So, you do. You don’t just answer that question, but the next one, and the next one after it, and the next one after that, and so on and so forth. The teacher looks both amazed and horrified. Even Satoru can’t seem to hide how taken aback he is. They’re both staring at you like you’ve been hiding this incredible intelligence all along, when really, you’re kind of cheating. You died when you were sixteen years old. Satoru is incredibly smart for his age, but even taking that into account, your years of lived experience give you an obvious advantage. 

Still, you have to admit, it feels kind of nice. Finally being acknowledged for something, that is. 

Satoru’s lesson ends, and you can see the teacher whispering to the other Gojo Clan members about what just happened. Their eyes all widen in shock as they glance your way. They believe you’re ‘gifted’ all of a sudden, and while it doesn’t mean much for a jujutsu sorcerer, at least they might think a bit more highly of you from now on. Maybe they’ll finally approve of you being by Satoru’s side. 

“I didn’t know you were smart,” Satoru admits. “To be honest, up until now, I thought you were kind of dumb.”

“...oh.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” 

“Is there a good way to be dumb?” 

“I just meant that you seemed a bit dumb, because of how straightforward and simple you are. And you’re nice to everyone, no matter how badly they treat you. You’re easy to take advantage of, so… yeah. I thought you were dumb. Sorry.” 

Satoru chuckles sheepishly. You snort in response, amused by his uncharacteristic shyness. You suppose it doesn’t really matter whether people think you’re smart or not. From the moment you were born, it was clear that you would have to defy everyone’s expectations. You’re going to have to work harder than most in order to prove yourself. In order to have a chance at saving people.

“You’re doing that thing again,” Satoru remarks. 

“What thing?” 

“It’s a thing you do sometimes. You drift off, and even though you’re usually smiling all the time, your face will get all serious for a few moments.” 

“Oh. I guess I have a habit of getting lost in my thoughts. Sorry. I just really want to get stronger. I end up thinking about it a lot.” 

Satoru doesn’t know how to respond to that. It’s strange that you’re so fixated on improving yourself. He’s the strongest, so of course, there’s a heavy burden upon his shoulders. He has to be the best. It’s both his birthright and his destiny. There’s simply no way around it. 

But as for you…

Come to think of it, do you actually need to become stronger? 

He’s already decided that he’s going to protect you. Even if he hasn’t known you for very long yet, he likes having you around. There’s no reason why he can’t look after you. It’d be nice if you got stronger too, he supposes, but it’s not like you’d ever be stronger than him. With him by your side, your future is already assured. 

Which is why it’s weird. There’s this urgency and desperation he senses from you, almost constantly. It’s not like your family is around anymore. And even if they ever tried to take you back, he wouldn’t let that happen. 

And yet, you’re still determined to become stronger. It’s almost like there’s something you’re not telling him. Something more than just a simple desire to prove yourself. 

…then again, maybe he’s reading into things too much. 

Word travels fast, and soon, pretty much everyone in the clan has discovered that you possess intellect far beyond what they imagined (not really, but whatever, you’ll take it). Satoru keeps insisting that you be allowed to sit in on his lessons from time to time. They reluctantly allow it, and sometimes, you even help answer some of the questions he has—instead of the teacher whose literal job it is to do so. She doesn’t seem to like you very much, unfortunately.

One night, as you’re preparing to go to bed, Satoru stops by your room again. 

He does this a lot. He usually makes a point of saying goodnight to you before he goes to sleep. It’s adorable, and it warms your heart to see that he’s starting to care for you so much. Sometimes, you still can’t believe this is the life you’re living. 

You were expecting him to poke his head into the room before exchanging a few words, as usual, but this time, he turns up with a futon of his own. 

“I’m sleeping here tonight,” he declares. 

You blink. “Oh. You got permission?” 

“Yes. They whined about it a lot, but I said I didn’t care. It’s not even a big deal. You said before we could have a sleepover, right? Unless… you changed your mind.” 

He averts his gaze, looking a bit bashful. Perhaps he’s worried that you’ll refuse. Although you’re not sure who in their right mind would turn away this adorable little sweetheart. 

“I definitely didn’t change my mind,” you grin. “I’m always happy to have a sleepover with you. We can stay up all night telling each other scary stories! I know a few really good ones.”

“Why would I be scared of some stupid stories?” Satoru brushes off. “I’ve already exorcized all kinds of cursed spirits. And none of those were scary, either. I’m too strong to have anything to be scared of.” 

“You’re just saying that because you haven’t heard them yet. You act tough now, but I bet you’ll be crying later.” 

Satoru rolls his eyes as he lays his futon down next to yours. He doesn’t think much of it at first, but once he’s lying down, facing you, and when he realizes just how close the two of you are… he’s embarrassed to admit that his heart starts beating a bit faster.

“If this is weird, I can leave,” he mumbles. 

“It’s not weird at all. Like I said, I’m happy you’re here. Ah. You’re not just trying to come up with excuses so you don’t have to hear my scary stories, right? I see right through you, Satoru. You’re not sneaky.” 

Satoru laughs. It’s a pleasant, melodic sound, and you hope you’ll be able to hear it more often from now on. 

Before you can start telling your stories—you really do have some good ones you’re excited to share—Satoru scoots in a bit closer, then gently places his hand down on top of yours. 

“It’s okay,” he says, and since you’re not sure what he’s referring to, you just frown. “I mean, it’s okay if you’re not strong, because I’m strong enough for the both of us. Before, I said I’d be your friend if you showed me how you planned on getting stronger, but… it’s fine. You don’t need to do that anymore. I’ll still be your friend. I don’t care if you’re weak or not. So, don’t worry about what anyone else says. I’ll stay with you no matter what.” 

Through the dark of night, you can’t tell, but he’s blushing profusely right now. He feels like he just said something really cheesy. But he’s not going to take it back. He doesn’t regret it. He means it wholeheartedly. 

You, his first ever friend, are irreplaceable. 

More time passes, and as much as it pains you to admit, you still haven’t gotten any stronger. 

While Satoru is busy training, you do the same. You try your absolute hardest to make some kind of progress, and yet, the changes are minimal—if any. It’s as if your body simply isn’t cut out for this, which is a bitter irony. To think that you’ve been reincarnated into a world where you have the potential to do a lot of good and help a lot of people, but your weakness is holding you back. 

The knowledge you have is invaluable. You know that. Even if you’re not all-powerful, you still have the ability to make a difference. But this is Jujutsu Kaisen. A world in which death isn’t just possible; it’s more common than surviving. If you don’t have any way of protecting yourself and others, who’s to say you’ll even last long enough to save everyone? 

It hurts. You hate being weak. You hate that your efforts yield no results. Unlike in the real world, where people can usually make up for talent or skill through sheer dedication and hard work, here, your fate may as well be sealed. 

“Not like that,” Satoru says, shaking his head. “Do it like this.” 

He proceeds to give you yet another up close demonstration of his cursed energy at work. He flattens several pop cans in one fell swoop, while you’ve been struggling to do the same to a single one of them. 

You exhale tiredly. “Stop saying it like it’s second nature. You have better control of your cursed energy than anyone else. I can’t possibly compare.” 

“Well, I don’t really know how else to explain it,” he shrugs. 

Your shoulders slump. A while ago, you had your sixth birthday. Which means it’s been slightly more than a year since you’ve gone to live with the Gojo Clan. A whole year, and still, you’re as weak as ever. You know it’s still too early to give up, but it’s hard not to feel discouraged when you have Satoru by your side, and every day, you’re reminded of the fact that you’ll be helpless to change his fate if this continues. 

“You’re getting upset again. Even though I keep telling you that it’s okay if you don’t get stronger. You have me. You won’t ever need to be scared.” 

Satoru smiles and wraps his arm around you, pulling you into a loose hug. During your time together, he’s become a lot more cheerful and expressive, which is of course due to your influence. It makes you happy to see, and you’re overjoyed that he cares about you to this extent. If you didn’t know what the future holds in store, you would’ve been more than willing to sit back and let him protect you.

He doesn’t realize that he’s destined for an early death. He’s so sure of himself, so confident in his strength, that he doesn’t even consider it to be a possibility. Which is why you do need to become stronger. Even if he doesn’t understand why. 

You hug him back for a few moments, then pull away—much to Satoru’s disappointment. 

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“To train some more. I already talked to one of the clan members earlier. They agreed to help teach me. Reluctantly, but still.” 

“But we’re supposed to be having a lesson together soon,” he says, making a point to pout at you. 

You smile weakly. “Sorry. I’ll be there next time. I just… can’t afford to slack off. If I keep working hard, then eventually, something will give.” 

Of course, as you expected, your supervised training session doesn’t go much better. You can see the clan member repeatedly rolling their eyes at your lack of talent. The only reason they’re helping you at all is because Satoru insisted they honor your requests. 

Once again, you’re left feeling hopeless and deflated. You wonder if you’ll ever see any improvement, or if you truly are beyond salvation. Destined to be so weak that you can’t protect a single person. 

Not even your dearest friend. 

You stare down at your feet, gaze glassy, and for a moment, it feels like you’re about to cry. Isn’t there anything you can do? Anything at all? Some kind of trick that will allow even a weakling like you to have a fighting chance?

Some kind of… trick? 

All of a sudden, your eyes widen. 

Since meeting you, Satoru’s life has become a lot more fun.

He enjoys having you here. He never thought it would make that big of a difference, being able to spend time with a kid his own age. And not just any kid, but someone who’s taught him how to smile, laugh, and appreciate simple moments he used to take for granted before. He’s glad he made the decision to visit you again that fateful day. If he hadn’t done that, every day would still be just as monotonous and boring. Every day would be unbearably predictable. 

Satoru can never predict what you’re about to do next. It’s strange, because at first glance, you seem like a simpleton, but you always manage to find new ways to surprise him. 

Like right now, for instance. 

“[Name],” Satoru calls out. As always, he knows exactly where to find you. He can tell everyone’s cursed energy apart, and although yours is scarce, it easily stands out the most to him. It’s comforting and familiar. He’s fully committed it to memory by now, and if he wanted to, he could write a whole essay describing it. 

It doesn’t take long for Satoru to find you. For some reason, you’re standing in place and staring off into the distance with a vacant expression. You’re also holding something in your hand. Is that… a knife? 

“[Name],” Satoru repeats. He frowns as he steps closer to you. “What are you doing? What’s the knife for?”

You don’t respond at first, but then you turn towards him, in a rigid, unsettling manner. Your eyes are wider than he’s ever seen them before. Even your lips are slightly parted, as if something has you in awe.

“I understand now,” you mumble breathlessly. 

Whatever it is that you understand, Satoru definitely doesn’t. He’s unbelievably confused. And seriously, what’s with the knife? It’s starting to freak him out. 

Satoru knits his brows together. “What are you talking about? You’re being weird. Also, put the knife down before you end up hurting yourself.” 

“Okay. But first, let me show you something.”

You take a hurried step backwards. Satoru still doesn’t understand what’s going on. You’re never this cryptic. It’s throwing him off, and for some reason, he’s getting a bad feeling about all this. 

That bad feeling turns out to be right, because moments later, he watches as you drag the sharp end of the knife across your skin.

“Don’t—!”

Satoru cries out, but it’s already too late. There’s blood everywhere. It’s a deep gash. A serious injury. You’re wincing, looking lightheaded from the pain, as if you’re about to pass out any second. Satoru instinctively knows he has to get help, and yet, he’s too shocked to move. This has never happened before. He’s never watched someone get hurt in front of his eyes—someone he cares deeply about—and been helpless to do anything about it. He’s the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. A special, chosen existence. But right now, all of that feels pointless, because you’re in pain, and he doesn’t know how to fix it. 

“It’s okay,” you breathe out. “Just… watch.”

Satoru is about to cry out again, more desperately this time, but suddenly, he sees it. 

Your body is… healing?

It’s true. The gash on your arm, the one you just inflicted with the knife, has already fully healed. You pause for a moment, then wipe the blood off your skin, so that he can see more clearly. Sure enough, it’s gone. There’s no trace of the wound that was there a second ago. Almost as if what happened just now was a figment of his imagination.

“Reverse cursed technique,” Satoru mumbles in disbelief. “You… when did you learn how to do this? You never mentioned it before. And I didn’t notice any changes in the flow of your cursed energy, either.”

“I learned it just now.” 

“What?” 

“A few minutes ago. Before you came to find me. All of a sudden, I just knew how to do it. The knowledge appeared in my mind.” 

Satoru frowns. Something isn’t adding up. Converting cursed energy into positive energy is a very complex technique. Few individuals are actually able to pull it off. Even he doesn’t know how to heal himself. But such an ability was able to manifest in you? He supposes it’s not impossible, but given the nature of your cursed energy, and your overall lack of skill… it seems unlikely.

“I wanted to become stronger.” You pause for a moment, then shake your head. “Sorry. I needed to become stronger. So, I did. I wasn’t sure if it would work, but just now, I was able to confirm it.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I think you already suspect it. That I didn’t obtain this ability naturally. I was frustrated that nothing was working, no matter what I did. I just couldn’t seem to improve, regardless of how hard I trained. So, I… took a gamble. I made a Binding Vow.” 

Satoru blinks. “A self-imposed vow?” 

You nod enthusiastically, but it still doesn’t make any sense. Would someone really gain the ability to use positive energy through a simple vow like that? It’s the first Satoru’s ever heard of it. And since healing is a rare, valuable power, most people would love to get their hands on it. If it was that easy, surely everyone would opt to do it, one way or another.

Once again, Satoru has a bad feeling about this. 

“I already knew that by imposing restrictions on yourself, through a Binding Vow, it’s possible to increase your cursed energy and empower your technique,” you say. “I wasn’t sure if it would work for me. Converting cursed energy into positive energy is complicated, after all. I knew I had to make it a pretty serious restriction, in order to have any chance of succeeding. Even then, it still might not have worked.”

You pause yet again, while Satoru’s breath hitches in his throat, and the next second, you’re smiling brightly, like always. 

As you utter the most horrifying words Satoru has ever heard. 

“In exchange for gaining the ability to use reverse cursed technique, I’m never allowed to use my cursed energy to harm anyone else, whether it’s a human or a cursed spirit. And if by some chance I do… I’ll die. Instantly.”

Satoru’s jaw drops open.

“...what?!” 

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[springcourthighlady]

Treacherous | Tamlin & Briar @thehighlordofspring

"Tamlin, wait--", she calls out softly as he heads toward his tent. She scrambles to her feet and rubs her arms a bit, picking up her cloak from where it fell on the ground.

"I don't ever want you to blame yourself for what happened to me. Lilly and me and the rest of The Blessed...we planned that trek. We went in the middle of the night. We climbed up the wall. It was our own actions that got us spotted by Hybern. Campfires and laughter...joy. We foolishly made ourselves targets. Regardless of anything happening on your side. He took us. He jailed us. He tortured us. And he used the Cauldron and killed us. Not you."

Taking a few steps closer, she raises her chin to meet his gaze. "You had nothing to do with that. You are a protector and a leader, and you would never let that happen to anyone if you could prevent it. When I was the last one left, shaking in that cell from shock and blood loss...you didn't walk by." She swallows hard. "You didn't...gawk or enjoy the sight of my pain or my ripped scraps of clothing. He could have killed you if he found out you were a plant and not an ally. And you still risked taking away my pain. So I don't ever want to hear you blaming yourself for what I went through. Okay? Promise me."

She holds his gaze, unwaveringly. "You did not condemn me. You are my savior. And one day...perhaps my friend. I didn't really have any stock in being human either. Both ways...my mom and my friends are dead. Lilly is dead", she says quietly. "Sometimes I wonder if I leaned on her too much in my grief when I lost my mother. She became my next everything, her and Caedin when he was born. I even helped deliver him, actually. And even though we had other friends...we were the closest. Like sisters, as I mentioned. Family by choice, not blood."

She sighs sadly. "I suppose now I have an eternity to maybe befriend others and attempt to try and live with myself. Being the one that lived, when she should be here to raise her son...the way he lost them both...", her throat bobs. "I'll make sure he has everything and knows about her...how much she loved him and wanted this amazing life for him. And I-I'll give him that. However I can. At least, if I can make it through the night here."

Her eyes shutter. "Hybern snatched us in our tents. In the forest. At night. So I... I'm having a really hard time right now. My brain knows he's dead. Obviously. But my body and my magic doesnt get the message that I'm safe, so...it's in total breakdown mode," she scoffs as she tries to hold back tears. "I will do my very best to stay quiet for you. So at least one of us can sleep."

[bumblebeehug]

Nursing home au… Natsu and Lucy meet as old people, Lucy lived a life of regret and wishes she had lived more — she always wanted to write a novel. Natsu, who’s captivated by Lucy’s eyes and her big personality, and the way she’s friends with everyone in the building, he tries to impress her by telling her all of his great adventures. Some are exaggerated, but they’re never lies. Lucy loves it, she often sits and waits for him at every meal so he can tell her more stories. In fact, she gets so inspired that she starts outlining her own adventure — written this time, with her in it (it’ll naturally become the Fairy Tail as we know it hehe).

They spend their days like this, but at some point Natsu gets curious about Lucy’s life: how did a pretty, successful woman like her end up in a nursing home alone? Lucy tells him, though she prefaces it by telling him that her life wasn’t nearly as fun as his: she grew up rich, her father fixed an arranged marriage for her as soon as she turns 18, and she spends her youth learning all about her husbands business. She admits that it wasn’t a happy marriage but it was civil and she had a child with him. She, however, refused her father’s traditional treatment. Her daughter was to see the world, experience all the things she never got to see. By the time her child was an adult and moved out, her husband died. Young, sadly, but in Lucy’s horror she realised that for the first time ever, she was free of worry. So she spent her time dedicated to growing her late husband’s business, and one day she got a letter from her daughter that told her all about her new family on the other continent. They seemed happy, but Lucy didn’t know their language so when she realised that she had a hard time managing normal household tasks, she left her mansion and went to this nursing home. Surprisingly, she tells Natsu that it’s now her life really felt like it started. No longer chained to her past, talking to people in a normal manner, hearing the amazing lives other people led — she even sneaks in that she wanted to be a journalist for a while, but that she never got around to it.

In return Natsu told his life story. He too had a rough start, abandoned in the woods and picked up by an odd community, but that he quickly found ways to make pocket money. When he had his money he realised that there was nothing stopping him from seeing the world — and that he did. He admits to never actually finding anyone to settle with, other than this cat he had in his youth, but that he had a couple of flighty romances before he went on to the next place. That if there’s anything he regrets it’s not stopping and smelling the flowers. He feels as if he was running from something his entire life, from commitment. But in the end his body begged for mercy, and after a couple of friends’ coercion he agreed to finally land. Nursing home it was.

Lucy felt for him, she really did. She had used her business to escape her world, too scared to leave it completely, but too fed up to feel attached. Natsu knew that she would have switched places with him in a heartbeat, but he also knew that he had wanted to meet her earlier. Maybe if they met as young he would have settled down. He could have appreciated the slow life, the type of life where he came home to a safe embrace and warm food on the table, and in exchange he’d bring her to as many adventures as she wanted.

One day the workers find that they’ve both passed. Likely at the same time. As they clean out Lucy’s room they find a note, written in Natsu’s old, shaky handwriting: “let’s go on adventures together”.

[jessamine-rose]

Hi. I don't know if you answered this but what happened to Kitty's family? and did they find out what Pantalone did?

Read my Yandere! Pantalone fics first <3

Ohh thank you for asking this!! It was fun to revisit the story of Yandere! Pantalone x Kitty! Darling, and I hope you enjoy the additional lore on Kitty’s family (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

Note:: yandere, fic spoilers under the cut

The Lai family is never able to recover their wealth nor their social status.

Her parents and sister are the most affected. To keep afloat, they had to sell their estate and switch to a humbler lifestyle. Alas, it will take years for them to pay off their debt to the Northland Bank, especially since Pantalone charges interest.

On the other hand, Kitty’s brother is actually living his best life in Sumeru. Similar to Kitty, Gege grew up stifled by their family and high society; the difference is that he wanted to distance himself from the two. During his time at the Akademiya, he became more independent and made friends from different backgrounds. Secretly, he did not look forward to returning to Liyue.

Thanks to Pantalone’s scheme, Gege was freed from his own cage. After attending their wedding, he returns to Sumeru and builds a new life for himself. It’s just that he prefers to stay silent about his family, lest he reveal his brother-in-law’s connections to the Fatui.

⬩◈⬩

At one point, Kitty’s family does learn about her surrendered Vision.

One day, Pantalone allows Kitty to accompany him to Liyue. During the mission, they pay a short visit to her parents and Jiejie, who are too nervous to ask about her missing Vision. How can they, when Pantalone is asking for an update on their repayments?

Gege is the only one concerned about Kitty. Months after the wedding, he noticed that she’d stopped responding to his letters. So he sends a letter addressed to her and Pantalone, asking if he could visit them in Snezhnaya. On the same day he receives their response, however, he has to postpone the trip due to back-to-back commissions.

⬩◈⬩

Over a year later, Gege finally has the time to visit his little sister and brother-in-law. Pantalone assigns a Fatuus to fetch Gege and escort him to their manor in Snezhnaya. As soon as Gege meets Kitty, he notices her dim gaze and missing Vision. But before he can comment on it, Pantalone wraps his arm around Kitty’s waist and warmly welcomes him.

After a casual conversation, Pantalone tells Kitty to leave the living room so he can talk to Gege in private. That is when he, in a mournful tone, tells Gege about the “accident” that led to his darling’s Vision loss. He is very convincing, but Gege remains doubtful.

Later that day, Gege asks Kitty to tell him the truth, to let him know if she is truly all right. But Kitty only responds with a small smile and tells him that she is fine. That she is loved. That she has never felt happier by her husband’s side.

What would her brother know, anyway, as the one who was absent from her life for nine years? And even if her husband is lying, does he dare to challenge a Fatui Harbinger?

In the end, he chooses to believe in Pantalone’s story. If the “accident” really happened, then it makes sense that Kitty would willingly give up her Vision. And it is true that she seems happier as the Regrator’s wife.

If there is one thing that Gege recognizes in this shell of his little sister, it is the genuineness in her smiles directed at her husband.

⬩◈⬩

A week later, Gege returns to Sumeru.

By then, Pantalone has won him over with his charming facade. During their final goodbyes, Gege thanks him for his hospitality and for being there for Kitty.

Once he is back in Sumeru, he resumes his work. Now that he knows his little sister is in good hands, there is less to worry about.

It’s a shame, though, that he can’t visit them as often as he’d like. According to Pantalone, the couple will be “preoccupied with numerous missions and events” in the near future.

[i-mybrunettelady]

hail, mighty hero

zaeim and nyra share a moment in kourna. set during long live the lich (lws4). mind the spoilers. 2k words. mature.

Allied Encampment is bustling with life. But it’s not the kind of life that would indicate happiness; in Zaeim’s head, that kind of life is almost a fragment of his imagination. It certainly is for the poor souls of Istan, or even Vabbi. Here in Kourna and the real world, it’s a life of anxiety, a life of uncertainty, of vague hope. People are carrying their restlessness with them and looking up at the leaders of this makeshift resistance group to make sense of it. 

Zaeim feels that burden intensely. He guides his Sunspears, makes plans, tries his hardest to not break nor bend under pressure. Every time he sees a wounded or dying Elonian, he sends a prayer to Kormir and it weighs his heart down even further. Every time there’s an accident, or a failed scouting mission, Zaeim wonders if they’re all going to die and Joko will remain the tyrant of Elona forever. 

So when he feels this way, he turns to Nyra. She stands tall, proud, indomitable and entirely mad. Her eyes shine with something wild and barely restrained, like fate itself had carved a chasm in her soul so now she’s trying to rebuild it back with parts of the real world. She attracts attention wherever she goes and people flock to her like moths to flame. From a distance, she looks radiant. Up close, Zaeim wonders when she’s going to burn out entirely. 

She can’t seem to fight off a sunburn from days in the sands and amongst the army. Her hair, short, messy and in constant disarray, has lightened to a near blonde, a contrast to the areas of her face that caught the beginnings of a tan. She has growing dark circles under her eyes and ever-present dirt beneath her nails, be it blood or tar or whatever else. Comfortable tunics she wears are more filled with creases and dust by the day, patched where they’d gotten nicked in the fights with Awakened. She hardly looks like their leader, Zaeim thinks, as worn out and bitter and restless as everyone else. 

He knows deep down, however, that it is her light this whole thing is centered around. And so, he can’t look away. Especially not when they’re discussing tactics, when she’s explaining things in that strangely accented Elonian of hers, or when she settles on a decision and cuts a clear line in the sand. I have listened to your suggestions. From this point on, you are with me or against me. 

Hardly anyone dares oppose her.

And thus Zaeim finds himself drawn to the moments where he’s with her. He likes the reassurance in her eyes. He likes the subtle nature of her smiles. “I’ve never been very expressive, in terms of.. Face,” she said one night, reclining against a wall. Zaeim raised his gaze to her face. “Do you mind that?”

“Some people are simply not,” he replied, with more eagerness than he’d intended. “I don’t doubt that you’re genuine about this and about Elona. Kormir knows you want Joko dead as much as anyone else here.” 

“There can only be one biggest dick in this desert, yeah?” she huffed and blew a curl of hair away from her nose. “For fuck’s sake, I need my hair to grow faster.” 

Zaeim smiled. “That growth spurt went elsewhere with you, it would seem.” 

Nyra laughed. It was a solid, deep sound, echoing in the small cottage they’d claimed as their base of command. “I’d say Joko stole it and I wanna get it back.” 

“Or Sayida.” 

“Sayida is wiser than Joko.” 

Zaeim shook his head. “Debatable, but I will not argue with you.” 

“That’s smart,” Nyra said, in a gravelly tone. If he hadn’t known better, he would’ve suspected a threat. “You are wise too.” 

Zaeim doesn’t consider himself wise. He doesn’t think Nyra herself is wise, either. All he knows is that between them, and supposedly Sayida, and the Olmakhan and the Primeval ghosts, they can take down Joko and see a free Elona. 

Sometimes, that is enough. 

Other times, though, he wants to see Nyra the woman, Nyra the person behind the legend. Then he watches her movements, and notices, rather quickly, that her right shoulder is almost always stiff by the end of the day. She’s careful to not move her right hand much unless she has to, and the occasional stretch she does brings about a pained expression. She doesn’t bring it up, however. 

He understands. He has old wounds too. But in the grand scheme of Alysannyra Ainsaph, that one thing feels like a game changer. She goes from a symbol to a person, and from person to a symbol in a way Zaeim is familiar with, as the Spearmarshal. It makes him want to hold her close, feel the heat of her skin and the roughness of her sunburnt cheeks, in a union that so few people can actually understand. 

She comes to him in a dream, once, and there, she kisses him. And maybe Joko kills them all without Zaeim ever having tried to recreate that dream in real life. Zaeim hopes he musters up the courage to try. 

Opportunity presents itself rather unexpectedly. There is an Awakened Inquest incursion that Nyra herself chooses to annihilate, and that has her painfully rolling her shoulder to try and relieve the ache of it all day. In a break between planning, when the maps are in the safety of Canach’s hands for the moment, Zaeim takes a chance to lean in and whisper in Nyra’s ear, “Does your shoulder hurt?” 

Nyra almost hits his head as she raises hers. “What?” 

Zaeim blinks and steps away. “I noticed your shoulder is stiff and I wanted to offer relief. There is something that us Sunspears use and that I have a little bit of in my pack for old injuries.” 

“Relief, Spearmarshal?” Canach snickers, still looking at the maps. “I do think our dear Commander would love some relief! She’s had so much on her shoulders for this little war of yours–” 

“That’s what you take from this,” Nyra drawls, unimpressed. “Anyone you wanna fuck, Canach?” Zaeim blushes. 

“My hand suffices, Commander.” 

“Good. Stay out of the poor Spearmarshal’s business then. Maybe his hand doesn’t suffice.” 

Miraculously, Canach backs down. He offers Nyra a smile and returns the maps in her hands. “I will ponder on the tactics, Nyra,” he says quietly. “I will also see if Gorrik has any advice on the matter.” 

“Gorrik?” Nyra raises an eyebrow. She huffs out a breath and leans in. “Lie better next time, you asshat.” 

Canach grins. “He knows more than you think he does, Nyra.” 

“Oh.” 

“Oh, indeed.” 

“Get lost, though,” she jerks her head towards the door. “Think about tactics elsewhere.” 

Canach salutes her and heads to the door. He makes sure to close them as loudly as he possibly can without breaking the damn thing. Zaeim watches him go and crosses his arms over his chest. His face feels hot still and he digs his nails into the exposed skin of his upper arms. Yes, Kormir curse him, he does want to sleep with Nyra, and is that a crime? Is it a bad thing if a man wants to sleep with a woman? 

“Zaeim,” Nyra says, “if you frown any harder, you’ll get a permanent wrinkle.” 

“Wrinkles are the least of my concerns,” Zaeim grumbles and looks away. He then clears his throat. “I hope you’re not offended that I–” 

“That you find me attractive?” Nyra taps a nail against the table. The wide stance she’d assumed earlier when talking to Canach now becomes a long, lean form. The wood creaks under her weight when she leans against the table. “No.” 

“But?” Zaeim looks back at her again. She’s rubbing her clothed arms. She’s the only fully clothed and covered person in this entire camp, barring Gorrik and Taimi. She has bandages up to her knuckles. “Are you hurt?”

“Zaeim, I’m more scar tissue than skin behind this patched up tunic,” she says after a while and laughs awkwardly. Zaeim stares. It somehow never crossed his mind that she too might have insecurities. His head has a hard time wrapping itself around that notion, that the Godkiller and Dragonslayer is insecure about her scars of all things. 

“That is hardly a concern to me, if it is any consolation,” he offers softly. “There are a lot of scarred Sunspears.” 

She looks him up and down. Her eyes linger on his arms and legs and on the peek of his chest, before she looks him directly in the eye. Zaeim squirms under inspection. He knows he looks older than he is; life of a Sunspear is hardly easy, and beauty is the first thing to go when you choose to defy Joko. In the grand scheme of things, it’s least relevant. But right now Zaeim wishes very hard that he’d been born a noble, a prince of Vabbi or Istan, someone she would find easy to look at. 

“For what’s worth, I think you’re attractive too,” she says and Zaeim’s head shoots up. She sounds a little sad. 

Zaeim breathes out. “I still have my ointment, if you’d like it.” 

She considers for a moment, and as if to prove a point, goes to roll her shoulder. She stops halfway. “Yes,” she says. She rises from the table that creaks thankfully, and carefully pulls some of her tunic down to reveal her right shoulder. Zaeim sees the tail ends of angry, dark pink burns, but when she catches it, she raises the sleeve so they’re covered again. 

He doesn’t ask. Instead, he points towards a little stool near him. She walks over, playing with the material of her sleeve, and turns her back to him as she sits. His breath catches in his throat. The scar there is gnarly, deep, like something had tried to tear her spine off. It sits in an uneven line at a weird angle too. 

“It would’ve been worse without surgery,” she says, distantly. 

“Is there a way to–”

“No.” The finality of her response makes him close his mouth and dig through his pack. He unscrews the little clay pot and a familiar, slightly pungent scent spreads across the room. Zaeim says nothing as he softly rubs the cream into the knotted flesh. The only sounds in the room are the scoops his fingers make and their breathing, rugged and tense. 

She has tan lines, he notices. Her skin is hot where he touches it. Every so often she turns her head to look at him, and her eyes seem so impossibly big and insistent, conflicted in a way he can’t possibly decode. The sunburn makes their purple hue stand out even more. Zaeim’s hands itch to touch and caress more of her. He imagines his lips on her exposed neck, his hands in her hair. This close, she’s less of a symbol and more of a living, breathing person, with dark circles and a haunted stare and greasy hair, and he cannot get enough of it. 

“Kiss me,” she says. Her voice is rough and rich and breathy. It echoes in Zaeim’s ears like a drum. 

“Gladly,” Zaeim mutters and closes the clay pot. He could die tomorrow; it would’ve been a damn shame if he didn’t leap at an opportunity to kiss her. The pot clinks as he returns it carelessly to his pack and washes his hands free of the ointment. Nyra watches him with a strange expression. 

“What?” Zaeim asks and his heart wants to beat out of his chest. He feels its thunder in his throat. 

“You remind me of someone,” she says softly. “It’s– it was a man as dedicated to his dream and his duties as you are.” The way she implies the man is dead makes it seem targeted, almost a reproach. She’d mentioned a lover before, back in Tyria, but that he is dead. Zaeim has no idea who this man is and senses the topic is too raw to discuss further, but he wonders.

Self reproach is the only thing worse than regret. 

Zaeim crouches before her. This close, she smells like the cream he’d put on her and sweat. “Do you want me to kiss you? Truly?” 

Her eyes blaze. “Enough consideration,” she bites out, “I’m not fragile, for fuck’s sake!” And she pulls him to her and crashes her lips to his, digs her hands in his locs. Zaeim moans under the attention, and he would’ve felt bad about it if it wasn’t swallowed by the domineering force of her lips on his, even if closed. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. 

After a moment, she takes her head back a little, as if snapped out of a daze. “You probably wanted something sweeter,” she says quietly. “This was anything but.” 

“I will not lie,” he replies, “my usual idea of a first kiss is something that isn’t a metaphorical devouring.” 

Nyra blinks. “We can kiss slowly, if you’d like,” she says and plays with his locs. And then adds, with a grief so big it could swallow the world, “It’s been a long while since I had one of those. Probably don’t deserve them either. But..” 

Zaeim stands up. “This chair is a little uncomfortable,” he says. Nyra follows suit, close enough so he can feel the heat of her body. “I am certain there are more comfortable places in this house for people to kiss.” 

“Walls have hardly ever failed,” she suggests. Finding a little nook that’s big enough for both of them is a challenge, but when they finally do, and when he kisses her again, with his hands on her ass, the world falls away. 

Kormir knows they both need this. Kormir knows they both need a lot of things. And thankfully, Kormir, bless Her, provides. 

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - The Scheme

I am back!

More RealAgeAU. With the baby <3 Hey @spotaus get in here :D

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*----------------*

Cross walks from side to side “This is bad. This is very bad.” Cross even flickers in and out of view.

Dust holds out an arm and catches Cross by the arm before pulling him to sit next to him on the ground. Nightmare notices what Dust wants and climbs from his lap into Cross’s lap.

Dust watches as Cross snuggles their babybones and relaxes a little.

Dust nods and focusses back on what Error had shared with them.

Only to see that Dream is also close to a panic attack. Great.

Dream tugs on his own hands as he rambles “Fate and Balance are too dangerous! They will try to force Nightmare to change his domain. They already tried with me but with me being so well known and seeing as I already told everyone they knew it would attract too much attention if they made me change…”

Error groans as he sighs “Yes. I know. It is why I called for this meeting.”

The meeting being in some random AU with them, Error, Dream and Blue.

Blue pulls Dream near and puts an arm around his shoulders “Hey it will be fine. Error already hid where they are hiding and only us two know he is even alive.”

Dream shakes his skull “They just need to start checking universes. As soon as they find the right one they will know he is there. And notice Error’s meddling.”

Nightmare shoots Error a worried look but Error just shrugs “I will be fine. Balance already hates me anyway.” Nightmare does not look happy as he glances at Dust.

Dust frowns “They will just know? how?”

Dream searches for the right words “It is a god thing… if we are in a universe we can notice fellow gods or stuff changed by gods. It is why Nightmare and I could always sense each other.”

Killer tilts his skull “Seriously? I thought that was just a twin thing?”

Nightmare shakes his skull “No it was a god thing.”

Killer huh’s and looks off into the distance.

Horror frowns as he thinks “Meaning we can’t just keep hiding?”

Error shrugs as he looks to the side “I changed the universe code and makeup enough to make it unable to be found unless you make a very specific jump. The problem is that sometimes some gods can override bans placed by other gods.” He mutters softer “well… one exception with some very complicated and specific scenarios.”

Dust shoots Error a look “Can we copy that?” If they can do that maybe they can continue being relaxed here. Relax as they watch Nightmare develop his newly developing powers.

Error shakes his skull “Not without messing around with the save files, load files, reset files and save states.” He just shakes his skull at the looks everyone sends him “don’t ask how the guy made that mess work for himself.”

Dream looks at him worried “There has to be something we can do!”

Dust blinks as he feels a tug on his hoody. He looks to the side and sees nothing so he sighs “Cross. Visible please.”

A moment before Cross, and Nightmare, reappear again. Cross looks embarrassed. Nightmare however looks smug “We do what Dream did.”

Dust turns to Nightmare “What do you mean?” the silence around them is loud.

Nightmare nods “Dream says they can’t influence him because they know forcing him to change will attract attention. They don’t like being known. There is a reason people thought Error and I were the reason for all the bad stuff. Because they want us to be the face. They don’t want to be held responsible.”

Dust sees where he is going with this and doesn’t like it “Nightmare… please tell me you aren’t thinking what I think you are thinking.”

Nightmare keeps looking smug “We should reintroduce me.”

The loud and in sync shouting of No’s even surprises Dust as Cross after his own shout just holds Nightmare closer.

Killer sits down next to them “No. Nuh-uh. We aren’t doing that. Ever.”

Nightmare frowns “But we need to? If we don’t Fate or Balance will eventually find us.” He huffs as he crosses his arms “I like my domain but I can’t exactly use it to attack in anyway.”

Cross just holds him close and nuzzles his skull “We will defend you!”

Nightmare frowns “You guys are strong but…”

Error sighs “Fate and Balance are a league on their own… It is how they can just decide and change domains after all.” he sighs and shakes his skull “I don’t meet them a lot but lets say that near the start they made it clear what my domain entitled.”

Dust frowns and reconsiders some things. He never truly considered how Error ended up picking his domain. How Nightmare even knew what his entitled… If there are these much stronger beings around…

Horror must had made the same conclusion as he shoots Nightmare a look “what was your idea?”

Nightmare smiles a tiny bit as he speaks “We start reintroducing me. We start obviously with the safest options first and work from there. Then by the time they find us, it will be too late and old news and changing my domain will be too suspicious for them to do.”

Dream looks unhappy “Who would we reintroduce you to first?”

Nightmare grins with a knowing smile.

----

Reaper frowns as he floats from side to side in the beautiful garden. Careful not to touch anything.

Life giggles “I think you are worrying for nothing old friend.”

Reaper groans “I don’t like this. are you sure about this? I can still change the location and we can skip this meeting.”

Life shakes his face and looks excited “Reaper. Hearing that Dream and Error want to meet us about something very special? With special guests? Of course I want to meet them.”

Reaper frowns as he looks around nervously “If people find out I knew where you were…”

Life shrugs as she makes her tea “Balance already knows either way. She knew before you did. They never told anyone either. Meaning in the end others not knowing isn’t that dangerous.”

Reaper sighs as he floats over to grab his own tea to drink “I still worry…”

Life nods “I know. You worry too much.” She grins at him teasing “So how is your secret beau?”

Reaper shoots her a look “Don’t start.”

Life giggles and hums a happy tune “You can hardly blame me. It is very rare you truly connect with someone.”

Reaper sighs as he rubs his neck “Don’t start.”

Life giggles before both of them look up as they notice the change in the air. New people have entered this hidden space.

Reaper and Life look out and hear a voice which Reaper knows is Error.

“Life generally is in this area by the blossom trees. I can only assume she and Reaper will be there.”

Reaper knows they both are listening for any other voices.

“Life just… hangs around here? Doesn’t that get boring?”

Reaper is still slightly shocked to hear Killer. He knew there was going to be a special guest but still.

Reaper knew that Error knew where Nightmare was and that means that he would knew where the gang is but still… it shocks him.

It only takes a moment before Error walks into view and he grins “See? found them.” and he continues leading the way. Dream is nearby with Blue as Killer walks in after them with Dust and Horror close behind.

Reaper frowns as he notes the obvious absent Cross and Nightmare but well… it is something.

Error leads them over as Life stands up herself with a small smile “It is a pleasure to finally see the faces of those who are the center of much talk around our universes.”

Reaper snorts as he sees all of them look sheepishly away.

Dream rubs his cheek “It is nice to finally get to meet you Life… I have heard much about you… Thank you for allowing us to visit you in your home!”

Killer rolls his sockets and copies his voice but softer and Dream does not even turn around or drop his smile as he kicks behind him and hits Killer’s shin.

Life smiles amused “Oh that is alright. I must say I was very curious about the fact that you wished to meet us.” And she waits.

Dream looks nervously at Error and Killer before looking to the side.

Error raises his brow at Killer and crosses his arms “Well?”

Killer shoots Horror and Dust a look. Dust nods to him and Killer turns to them with a smile “What can I say? We needed some time to relax and figure stuff out but now we are more than ready to continue on! Foremost.” He grins “Cross?”

Silence.

Killer sighs and turns around as he looks into the nothing “Cross I know you are there. Stop hiding the two of you.”

A very unhappy mutter.

Reaper blinks confused. He hadn’t even sensed Cross… How… Reaper glances at Life and Life looks shocked herself.

Reaper can understand him not noticing someone but this is Life’s realm. Her home. Made of her magic. How had she not noticed someone entering?

Killer glares and crosses his arms “Cross. We are here to reintroduce him.”

Cross grumbles unhappily but appears and-

Reaper stares and his mind blanks.

Nightmare is looking up at Cross highly amused before turning to Killer and holding out two arms. Killer easily takes him over before walking closer to Life and Reaper. Cross makes a wounded sound and hurries after Killer.

Killer grins as he proudly holds Nightmare up “Meet! Nightmare! God is restoration!”

Nightmare grins and raises a tiny tiny arm in a wave “hi.”

Oh shit even his voice is young and what even is this?!

Life coos and before Reaper can blink she is suddenly holding Nightmare and holding him close “Oh you are just adorable. No wonder they hid with you and kept the multiverse away from you.” she smiles happily at the panicked looking skeletons “Well? Are you all coming? I will make us a meal and we will talk about all that happened.” She nuzzles the tiny skull with a happy hum “Oh tiny skeletons are just too cute. I will make sure to make something you like. Do you have any favourites?”

Nightmare just stares at her confused as he shoots the other skeletons a helpless look.

Horror walks over and speaks calmly “His magic is still resettling and he can’t always eat everything…”

Life shoots him a look and nods “I understand.” He grabs hold of Horror and pulls him along too as she floats towards another part of her area “I assume you know about his diet? Come along we will prepare some for all of you.” she raises her voice and aims it at the others “Get comfortable! We will be right back.” And they disappear behind some bushes.

Killer slowly tilts his skull “… did that god just steal our mate and babybones?”

Dust looks after where they disappeared himself “I am honestly not sure…” he shoots Error a glare “I thought you said Life would be fine to be introduced to?”

Error huffs “Because she is?” he rubs the back of his neck “I guess it makes sense… she is the goddess of life. Of course she gets excited at the sight of children… I think she will eventually give him back to you guys…”

Cross is glaring into the distance “She better or I will not be held responsible for what I will do.”

Killer and Dust both look highly amused.

Reaper finally finds his voice “Why is Nightmare tiny?”

The others actually look at him and Blue grins widely “You got like two hours? It is a long story.”

Dream laughs and nods “I can only assume we have enough time before Life returns with Nightmare and Horror.”

Cross huffs “You guys explain.” He disappears from view, and Reaper suddenly can’t feel his lifeforce anymore.

Killer grins “Have fun hunting and stalking love! See you in a bit!”

Dust takes a seat in a chair and grins “Ready for a short explanation?”

Reaper nods and gets ready. He has no doubt this will be quite the tale.

*----------------*

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[justanawesomeowl]

Im silently on twitter these days, and the amount of casual hate Joe Alwyn gets... amazing

I get that you prefer Taylor loves her life publicly (it gives us more content to obsess over), but disrespecting her choice of having a private relationship? Like, come on! She's old enough to know how she prefers to live her relationships: if that's publicly or privately it's her choice!

Having a private 6 year relationship was not Joe's "fault", but her choice as well. I'm sure that after this last few months we can all agree that if she had wanted she would have done otherwise

There's also the fact that everyone adored him (except the Gaylors) while they were dating and everyone is backstabbing him now. I get that we're swifties and not whatever his fans might be called, but it's sooo lame. Like, you can be happy for your friend after a break up and recognize that their ex was good for them at the time / not trashtalk them

[loserboyfriendrjl]

when i die, don't look for me in the sunsets...

sirius — look for me in the sky. i know it's a cliché, but there is where you will see me. am i scared of death? no, of course not. i am endless, i am invincible, i am bright; i am the brightest star, actually. i will reach out for you, and i will light up your way. you will find me.

james — look for me in the sky. you will see the sun, bright and scorching. i will warm you up when you will grieve for me, and i will bring closure to you. i might be gone, but i haven't left you alone. i am here, still. and i always will be.

remus — look for me in the river. see the stones, smooth and cold. look at the water, running. its way is freedom, isn't it? it's all ended; it's over. however, that does not mean you can't go on. fall in love. live. without me. we'll meet again soon.

peter — look for me somewhere quiet. there is beauty in quiet, although some people can't see it. it's peaceful. come sit with me, won't you? death is imminent, of course; however, why won't we make the most of life?

dorcas — look for me in my lover's arms. i have been deceived so many times, death does not scare me anymore; it's the last bit of closure i have. look for me in the little things, where i hide. many do not see me, yet i am here. you just have to look for me.

lily �� look for me at home. everything has a start and an ending, and i am always coming back. look for me where i can be myself, where everything is warm. look for me at home. maybe, one day, it will be ours to share.

mary — look for me somewhere bright. the sky, maybe. or somewhere colourful. it helps me forget how alone i am, really. i forget about the loneliness that aches in me. someday, i wish you'd search for me. for now, grieve.

marlene — look for me somewhere loud. it helps me forget. scared of death? of course, so i don't think of it. i let myself be washed away with adrenaline, pumped through my brain, and with a moment of pleasure. life is short, after all.

[nerdyfangirlingbooks]

Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice

[llycaons]

'jiang cheng would like a strong woman' have you considered she would probably not like him

[flippedorbit]

guy who feels annoying All Of The Time for rambling gets told it’s fine to do so unapologetically…… sobs :’] <3 /pos

i shall dm you i guess????? i think that’s most comfy for Me lol??? <- is so bad at social interaction omg save me

(responding to tags again: you fucking GET IT!!!!! shakes you so much omfg dude RAHHHH!!!!!! /affectionate

your cat is so cute…… she is goals (i’m catkin lmao) she looks so cozy and warm and soft and yeah she’s just great. giving her a little kiss because what cat doesn’t deserve lil kissies?)

-gregarious anon

:D yeah i ramble constantly about whatever’s on my mind and am constantly worried about being annoying so when someone else feels that way about rambling to me i just go with it, no being annoying here, just fun and chatting about whatever comes to mind :3

and o7 looking forward to it, gregarious anon