#She didn't become proud and didn't start despising her friends

[supercool-here]

Watching the episode (94th) where the cuartel prompts Berta to get the surgical procedure to have a hot bod and it's Betty and Inesita the only ones having reasonable and smart takes as to why she shouldn't do it (and get the car her husband told her to get instead) but in the end she does get the procedure because insecurities and ego and vanity and coaxing and whatnot. And then they tell Betty how she's ingenuous for believing a man can love you no matter your looks. And then it's BETTY who ends up looking prettier without having undergone any surgeries, but most importantly, Armando, the womanizer who was always surrounded by models and who only chased the most beautiful women, falls in love with her, out of all the ordinary and even undeniably unattractive women he must have met in his lifetime.

[abyssalpriest]

Working with Leviathan be like

Leviathan: *completely both rewrites a severe trauma trigger back into something neutral and freeing, and further reconnects me to the Sky and myself off plane and pre-incarnation in the space of 24 hours* yeah nice, anyway we should play video games now I'm tired

[wilcze-kudly]

People will go on about how "Katara's story is a tragedy" because she... ended up marrying the guy she loves, having children and grandchildren which she was always excited about and literally becoming a master waterbender and rising to the top of her field as a healer.

Yes, Katara's story has tragic aspects to it. And there are certainly flaws in how she is written in tlok (Though I will argue that there are actually more issues with how Toph and Zuko are just plopped in there for no reason in later seasons). And her storylines aren't perfect, for example her resolving her trauma around the murder of her mother being more used to prop up Zuko than her own internal turmoil. (Most of TSR is from Zuko's perspective and I hate that actually)

"Katara's story is a tragedy" Why do you have such a hard on for this woman's misery? Let her be happy, man.

You know what gaang girlie's life is an actual onscreen tragedy?

Toph's!

People will fucking downplay Toph's childhood abuse because she wasn't physically hurt, but her childhood was a never ending carousel of abelism, misogyny, neglect and isolation. The way Toph describes her parent's treatment of her as "pressure and pain" is heartbreaking.

Toph's only escape was Earth Rumble and earthbending, but despite her skills, she remained the perfect little lady her parents always wanted her to be. She's never known a different life, and she was only able to be her real self in secret.

And when Toph finally opens up to her parents, when she finally lays her real self bare in front of the people who are supposed to love and care for her?

She is met with what may be, in my opinion, the cruellest rejection in the show.

Despite this, even when Toph runs away, she still cares for her parents' approval. Hell, she's even lured into a trap due to her getting a forged letter from her mom and getting excited because it looked like her mom was finally accepting her.

It's also important to note how determined to be self sufficient and to prove herself Toph is. We can especially see this right after she joins the Gaang, where she refuses to participate in splitting with the rest of the group, insisting on "pulling her own weight". This isn't Toph being a brat, or spoilt, this is her wanting to prove that she can handle herself because people have handled and understimated her her entire life.

Eventually, Toph starts to learn to trust the members of the Gaang and this is a step in the right direction. She's literally making friends for the first time in her life I'm so proud of her.

However, I was genuinely upset when Toph's life changing field trip with Zuko didn't work out. When Toph was trying to connect with Zuko and he blew her off (I'm not blaming him tho they had shit to do), I couldn't help but remember the rejection Toph suffered from Lao.

Post canon, Toph continues to try and prove herself, starting a metalbending school and training new metalbenders.

She also reconciles with her father. Not before Lao disowns he rmultiple times and calls her a rude, ungrateful thing. And while he eventually comes to understand Toph and cherish her, that type of trauma sticks with you.

So it's no wonder really that Toph, someone who went her entire childhood seemingly without even speaking to someone her age, would have trouble forming connections. She has children with two different men, neither of which seem to stick around.

Toph tries to do right by her daughters and gives them the freedom she never got. Sadly, the pendulum swung too far to the other side, since it seems that she started to neglect her daughters, which led to them developing a sleugh of issues of their own.

Toph becomes the cheif of police, which kind of makes sense. Republic City was only slowly emerging as an actual metropolis. Toph took on a role as a protector, and probably as a way to prove herself. But as Republic City grew, Toph probably realised that she became something she hated. A cog in the machine, and started to despise her job.

Searching for a semblance of the freedom and happiness her travels afforded her in her childhood, Toph leaves the city and takes up the life of a hermit in a swamp. She managed to fix her relationship with Suyin to some extent, but still seems reluctant or simply unable to connect with her daughter or grandchildren. Since she apparently hasn't seen Opal, a grown 20 year old woman since she was a little girl.

On the surface old Toph doesn't seem terribly dissimilar to young Toph, still tough and spunky. But she is more jaded, depressed and pessimistic. She comes out to save Suyin from immediate harm and manages to somewhat reconcile with Lin, but then she fucks right back off to the swamp where she seems to literally hide until Wu and Korra straight up force her to come with them.

Toph's story began with her alone and it seems to end with her alone as well. It's a story of a girl who grew up isolated and handled by others, and was woefully unprepared for the real world, which only jaded her further. She lives with the guilt of fucking up her daughters' lives and a belief in the pointlessness of life.

Toph started off longing to experience the world and ended up willingly isolating herself from it.

If that isn't a tragedy, I'm not sure what is.

Mind you, this is not the trauma olympics. I'm not saying that Toph has suffered more than Katara or that Katara's trauma is not as valid as Toph's. Katara and Toph's experiences are completely different, Katara being a victim of genocide and war, Toph being a victim of child abuse. I'm just saying that, objectively, Katara had a happier 'ending' than Toph.

[jaehunnyy]

The sound of our tied souls

Genre: soulmate!au, rockstar!au, kinda enemies-to-lovers but not really, a bit of angst, fluff, happy ending

Word count: 3.3k

Pairing: rockstar!San x fem!reader (feat. reader's best friend x Mingi)

Warnings: swear words (quite a lot), time-skip, kind of a bad guy attitude—San's a bit of a jerk at the beginning but he has a character development :), soulmate rejection, mentions of some jealous fans, kinda slow-burn, one kiss, possible grammar mistakes

A/N: this oneshot is part of @sungbeam's soulmate collab, which i was so proud to be part of; thanks for the opportunity, love 🤍

You got woken up by that annoying song again, your beauty sleep being thrown away for the rest of the night—cause it seemed like your soulmate had no sleeping schedule. You couldn't understand how he could listen to this all the time, you often wondered if his hearing was still intact—cause the loud growl of what seemed to be an electric guitar could surely manage to make you deaf by now. 

You have first discovered your soulmate bond after your 16th birthday, when you began hearing rock music everyday. Everyone was talking about how sweet their marks were: a tattoo with the letter of their significant other's name, a highlight in their hair matching their future partner's color, and the list could go on. You, on the other hand, had to struggle with listening to something you absolutely despised, without thinking that your soulmate returned the same feeling to your music choice. With a mischievous smile on your face, you made your way to your piano, starting to play one of your favorite songs. God, if only you knew how frustrated your soulmate got. 

"San, you messed up again! Can you fucking focus?" Hongjoong, the leader of their group, Guerrillas, shouted, watching as the culprit lowered his head. 

"I can't, Joong. I can't, because all I hear right now is Für Elise, and it messes my head up!" he shouted too, pulling his hair back in frustration.

The others looked at each other with confused looks; was there something they didn't know? Without actually meaning to, Mingi bursted into laughter, leading Wooyoung to chuckle as well. 

"Since when do you listen to classical music?" he asked San, smirking playfully. 

"I don't. That thing you call soulmate does." 

"You're hearing what your soulmate listens to?!" Wooyoung exclaimed, covering his mouth in shock. 

"Yeah. But you know I'm not into this shit of yours, so let's get back to practice. I'll try and focus." he simply said, taking his guitar again, the strap attached to it hugging his torso perfectly. 

Seonghwa shrugged and signaled the others to start playing, their practice session blooming once again. You could swear that he'd never played music that loud before; it felt like a competition between the two of you, and you smiled at the thought of having him so frustrated. You didn't know who he was nor how he looked, but you were ready to make his life a living hell, as much as he had started to turn yours into one.  

At one point, the music stopped and you managed to sleep a bit, but it was way too little for your liking. You woke up at the sound of your doorbell, your best friend standing behind the wooden door. 

"You won't believe what my boyfriend got me!" she said as soon as you opened the door, barging into your house like it was her own. 

"Do I wanna know?" you sighed, thinking that your best friend's excitement meant chaos. 

"He got me two tickets at his band's concert! We're gonna see the Guerrillas!" she jumped, pulling the two golden-like tickets from her pocket. 

She and Mingi—her soulmate, met a while ago, and since then, she was always talking about him and how much their music grew on her. She must have been so happy now, that her world had finally earned its colors. Her and Mingi's soulmate mark consisted of seeing the world in black and white, until the two of them met. You still remembered how fast they agreed on becoming a couple, and you still wondered how they made it work so well. You knew how proud she was of her boyfriend, mainly because it was the third time she was trying to convince you to go with her, thinking that it would be, somehow, her lucky chance. 

"There's no way I'm going to a rock concert." you protested, crossing your arms. 

"There's no way I'll leave you alone until you say yes." she smirked, shoving one of the tickets in your jacket. 

Nice try, you thought, before taking a moment to actually read the information on the ticket. How bad could it be, after all? Maybe, in this way, you could find more about your soulmate's favorite genre of music. You also thought it was maybe an occasion to meet Mingi's friends; you knew he was in the college's rock band, though you've never met them in this formula.

"Fine. I'm only doing it for Mingi's effort to get you these." you said coldly, side-eyeing your friend when she gave you a bear hug; it was gonna be a long week.

While the two were already making plans for the big day, the boys took a break from their intense practice session, starting to talk about whatever traveled their mind while drinking a can of energy drink. San was absent from their conversation, fidgeting with his calloused fingers, the effort of always trying to hit the right strings showing. The thought of having a soulmate was really burdening him, he didn't want to spend his energy searching for someone he didn't even want to meet. Little San would probably be disappointed, because all he has ever wished for was to grow up and meet his other half. Arts student San, though? He didn't need anything else as long as he had his guitar by his side; a capo and some sheet music could easily solve his problems. But he couldn't stand the thought of someone constantly hearing the feelings he tried expressing through music; it made him feel vulnerable, like he had no personal space anymore.

"San, do you agree with the outfits we've decided on?" Jongho asked, looking curiously at the way too quiet boy. 

"Huh… yeah, sure, sounds great." he replied, avoiding the way Yunho raised his eyebrow at his reply. 

"You didn't pay attention," he sighed, before adding some other words: "Something's definitely bothering you, so talk to us." 

"Is it because of your soulmate? Why don't you just search for her?" Wooyoung asked, feeling the way the elder tensed. "It should stop after you meet, right?" 

"Meeting her means that I have to be committed, and I don't want to commit to her." he spat, putting emphasis on not wanting to do so, and without bothering to spare his friends the slightest glance, he just took his things and left them speechless, in the middle of the studio. 

The week passed fastly, the not-so-wanted (by a certain someone, 'cause the whole college actually went crazy for it) concert finally coming to life. The boys were backstage, trying to memorize their lines or chords for the last time. You and your friend would be late though; because she couldn't let you wear the clothes you would usually wear. 

"I can't believe you want to wear a coat to a rock concert," she sighed, slightly amused by your antics. "They cover songs like Smells Like Teen Spirit, Sweet Child O' Mine and more, and they will most likely sing their own songs as well. This isn't Antonio Vivanti." 

You let out an offended scoff, grabbing the leather jacket she was trying to put on you and wearing it, despite the ick the weird material was giving you. "And it's Vivaldi, by the way. Pay respect!" 

"Yeah, yeah. C'mon, or else we will be late!" 

Luckily for her (‘cause you tried to lose as much time as you could), you arrived just when they settled on stage, greeting the ones who came to see them. You couldn't say you weren't a bit jealous whenever you saw the way her and Mingi looked at each other—because it did something to you. But you were scared of being rejected, pretty sure that the soulmate thing wasn't as easy as it seemed. 

Your thoughts were brushed off by the loud sound made by the mix of instruments, making you flinch, to your friend's amusement. Not being able to sneak outside because of her hand constantly holding yours, you decided that the least you could do was to pretend you were enjoying it. The others seemed to have fun too, even the boys, who really owned the stage—until something stole the show. San was taken aback by the way his in-ears worked—or so he thought. The same song they were performing was playing in a faded but bothering way in his ears, making him look at the others with a questionable look. He then made a few gestures to the staff, waiting for the song to stop so he could go and see what was wrong. Hongjoong looked at him worriedly while still focused on his bass, meanwhile Mingi almost messed up while playing the drums. 

"We will be back in a few minutes, wait for us, okay?" Jongho screamed, hoping to keep the audience busy for a bit, while the others went to see what was wrong with San; their mics weren't off, though. 

"There's nothing wrong with your in-ears, San. They work perfectly," the staff informed him, a few curse words leaving his mouth. 

"What if your soulmate is at the concert, San?" Yeosang asked innocently, almost like a joke—though the younger boy freezed in his place. 

The audience went crazy; some fangirls gasped and started to whisper several things about San's potential soulmate, meanwhile some of them had the same reaction as San. Some of them even started to run, looking suspiciously at every single girl they saw. "San has a soulmate?", "God, what did she do in her past life?", and so many other phrases that made you scoff. Who was this San and why was he so popular? The influence of his jealous fans spreaded through the whole venue, making the staff finally notice their mics and turn them off, though it was too late—the fuss was already created.

"I don't think that's the case—" Seonghwa tried to protest, but San stopped him. 

"I think that's exactly the case." San looked at them, before throwing his in-ears somewhere. "What should we do now? I don't want to perform anymore." 

"Then… let's wrap it up." Hongjoong sighed, before going back on stage. "Due to some unfortunate events, we need to stop here, darlings. Don't worry, we will come back soon!" He bowed and left the stage, leaving the fans high and dry. In other circumstances, nothing could have made him leave the stage that easily; he would have found a solution. But seeing how messed up his friend was, it made him want to try and understand him, he was going through a quite special phase, after all.

"I will go ask Mingi about what happened, do you want to come?" your friend asked, though your answer didn't even matter, she was already dragging you after her. 

She greeted her boyfriend and the others as if they knew each other since forever, asking them about what was wrong. 

"San hears whatever his soulmate is listening too, and he has only told us a few days ago," Mingi said, wrapping an arm around the girl's waist. 

Your eyes widened at what he said, but you decided to keep composure—maybe it was just a coincidence. 

"And she is into classical music, it's so frustrating. Why would she come to our concert?" San snapped, ignoring the guest his friend's soulmate brought. 

It all made sense to you then. You probably didn't realize the music coming from him because you tried to enjoy the new experience, but it made sense. The two-tone haired boy, the arrogant San everyone was talking about was standing in front of you—moreover, he was your soulmate; and he didn't seem too happy with the idea of being bonded to someone. 

"Who's the lady next to you?" Wooyoung asked, feeling the need to make you feel implied in the discussion. 

"She's Y/N, I dragged her here with me," your friend laughs awkwardly. "She's not a fan, but Mingi got me two tickets so I made use of them." 

"Oh! Do you happen to hear rock music sometimes?" Wooyoung asked, smirking playfully. 

"Uhm… no, sorry." you said, looking at San, who was already looking suspiciously at you. He was really arrogant, you wished to be able to reject him, but he seemed to do it first. 

"Even if she was, I told you guys I don't care. My soulmate can go search for another one." he said, before leaving them, once again. You were the next one to leave, not even caring about the possibility of giving your little secret away.

Even after a few days, you couldn't deny the emptiness you felt the moment you were indirectly rejected by your soulmate—it was definitely noticeable, somewhere in your heart. It was safe to say San didn't feel as good as he thought he would either, even when he rejected the one he was assigned to live his whole life with on purpose. He figured out it was you, because he stopped hearing the once annoying music; but he missed it. And the news about his soulmate was spread in the whole college as well, not helping at all; they were making even the outsiders interested in the tea going on. 

"I'm tired of this shit, guys. I won't come to practice today." 

Hongjoong looked at him once again, nodding, not knowing exactly how to comfort his friend in this situation, words long forgotten. San started to walk in the direction of where the studio was, his ears filling with the melodious sound of a piano playing. Like it was a habit of his, his legs guided him to the door, which he cracked open, just to reveal you playing the piano. Your fingers moved skillfully along the piano keys, Debussy's Clair de Lune resonating beautifully in the room. The sweet melody managed to comfort him somehow; he didn’t know if it was the calming nature of the song or the closure he was supposed to have with you, but he felt relaxed, listening peacefully until the painful silence started to bother him. He then took the matters into his own hands—in such a San way. 

"You’ve got some skills, soulmate," he said, his lips stretching into a little smile, though a little dimple made its appearance still. 

You got a bit surprised by his presence, but stopped what you were doing, to return a small smile and answer him. 

"Thank you. I guess you do too." 

"Was that Beethoven?" he asked curiously, sitting on the chair in front of the piano, next to you. 

"Claude Debussy, but A for effort," you said, smiling at his attempt. 

A wave of silence spread across the room, before you decided to break it: "We got off to a bad start, but we can still repair it. I'm Y/N," you said, sticking your hand out to him. 

He grabbed it, shaking it softly. "I'm San, nice to meet you again." He waited for another reaction of yours, but seeing that you didn't plan on saying anything else, he made the next step: "Let's be friends." 

You spent most of the day with him, sharing tips and talking about your opposite passions—though it was well known that opposites attract. Now, that you've gotten to know him a bit better, you could say he was more than just an arrogant guy. 

One month passed since your first interaction with your soulmate, and you would have never expected that there would be more; yet here you were, watching as he excitedly got two tickets from his pocket. 

"You're invited to our concert tonight! My treat this time, for you and our friend." he winked, handing the same golden-like tickets to you. 

"I'll be there, Sannie." you smiled, giving him a side hug before running to your class. He smiled softly, not believing the effect love could have on him.

Furthermore, tonight's stage would be an important one for him; it could mean accomplishment or failure, but he was still willing to try. The boys found him smiling like an idiot—but they enjoyed it, they could tease him about how a certain someone made him change. He never failed to amaze them, but someone definitely brought the best in him. He watched as the boys looked at him, his freshly dyed hair glowing nicely into the dim lights. His hands were covered in a pair of fingerless mesh gloves, fingers full of rings, while his t-shirt was nicely tucked in his leather pants. Some chains were dangling on his neck and waist, and a fake lip ring laid on his lower lip, completing the rockstar look he opted for. 

"Where's San and what have you done with him?" Yeosang joked, entertaining the other seven boys in the room. 

"Shut up, Sang. Are you ready?" Seonghwa asked, taking his mic and retouching the last details for tonight's show. 

"Never been more ready." San smiled, taking his guitar and being the first one to get on stage. 

"Hello guys, thank you for coming today too!" Wooyoung exclaimed, getting ready to perform at his best. 

You and your friend were somewhere in the front row, singing along with the other fans who came to see the eight boys. You were bouncing with her, enjoying the genre you softly became addicted to, but it was surely an influence San had on you. You didn't know what happened to you, but you still had hope, that maybe something would change his mind. Suddenly, the culprit's voice was heard in the whole venue, catching your attention and making you stop whatever you were doing. 

"As you all know, one month ago, I met my soulmate at the concert we held in the same place. I'd like her to join me here, please, Y/N?" he smiled, gesturing for you to get on stage, next to them. 

You looked confusedly at your friend, who pushed you in the direction of the stage, playing their game. You got there, finding yourself in front of the crowd and waving awkwardly at them, not expecting to hear their loud screaming. 

"I know I was a bit of a douchebag at the beginning, and that was definitely not the way you wanted us to meet. I messed up, but I hope you can forgive me." 

The fans cheered up louder, while a big smile found its way to your face, making the boy's lips stretch into one as well. 

"I know I rejected you at the beginning, but let me try to fix things. I hope it's not too late," he laughed softly, before continuing: "Have you started your looking for another soulmate project yet?" 

You burst into laughter, nodding as no a few times. His cheeks got colored in a crimson red tone, and you could swear you've never seen anything cuter than a shy rockstar.

"Can I have the chance of being the lucky one, then?" he asked and watched as your expression changed, nervousness noticeable in his voice as well. 

"I thought you considered yourself unluck—" Wooyoung interrupted, but Jongho was fast to cover his mouth and prevent him from saying anything else. "You're screwing the moment, Woo." he said, mouth still pressed on his older friend's mouth. 

You laughed at their antics, taking the mic from San's hand. 

"As much as you've annoyed me, I still like you, Choi San. I always did, which is why I would actually love to give you this chance." 

As soon as you finished your romantic little speech, he cupped your face, pressing his lips on yours softly. The fans went crazy, cheering and jumping as the two of you sealed the promise of loving each other forever with a soft kiss. 

"With these being said, I'd like to announce the title of our next album, entitled The sound of our tied souls!" Yunho said, making the night of every single soul attending that concert, the stars shining even brighter above their heads.

You pressed your forehead on San's, admiring his beauty while your noses rubbed lovingly against each other's. The road you had to walk on to find your soulmate was a tough one, but looking back on it, you wouldn't want it another way; you were too excited for your future with your other half—the arrogant boy you started to love, the one destined to be eternally yours. 

[anothersoulless]

Two Sinners Can't Atone From A Lone Prayer {Reiner Braun}

Reiner Braun was a warrior, a proud man of Marley. But maybe he wasn't so proud, maybe he didn't like Marley at all. Maybe he despised his home, his family, himself. Maybe he just wanted to die, to avoid all this guilt and shame.

Content wraning: Suicidal thoughts, AoT typical violence and Trauma, Reiner Braun being Reiner Braun

He had spent his life living for anyone but himself. Reiner Braun, the son loving his mother so much he would die for her. Reiner Braun, the son who became a warrior for his mother. Reiner Braun, the child sent to war to protect his mother. It was no surprise that by the end of his 13 years he wanted to die. It was no surprise he wanted to choose how to go out, and yet, he had been denied that sweet release every single time.

He had seen wars and blood and death, had killed more people than most in the world when he was still a child. He had been tasked with genocide of an entire civilization when he was 12. Most other children would fawn over cars and races and get into fights with the neighbours kids about some girl they liked and get home to an angry mother and fresh food, and he was strategically plotting how to doom an entire nation, in the name of peace.

Of course, he didn't know then, that it wasn't peace. It was fear, it was war. He was a slave, a slave to anyone who gave him orders. It wasn't his fault, of course, it was the fault of the world, the people around him. It was the fault of Eldia, Marley, his mother, the soldiers… When Marcel died they should have returned, but he pressed on. They weren't about to throw away their chance at 'peace' just because of one death. It was his fault of course, the horror, the dread he felt when he had seen the overgrown titan leap out of the ground, seen Marcel get caught by the titan, seeing him get stuffed between his teeth, the sound of bones as they were crushed, heard his screams upon the pain Marcel felt. He was frozen. What could he have done? Marcel was the leader, he was suited far better for this entire job than him. Maybe Porco had been right, he didn't deserve the Armoured Titan. Then they broke the first wall, a team effort just for a chance to mix under the people — no — the monsters who caused all this suffering. The monsters who followed their leader, the founding Titan, who worshipped him, who praised him…

And they screamed. Ran. They behaved like… Like people. Getting eaten, crushed, trampled. They tried to save their dogs, cats, horses, their children, their wives. They didn't look so different. He enrolled in the Survey Corps with only one intention but at that point. Everything had already started to shift. He had dreams of being a warrior, dreams of being a soldier, and everything seemed to muddle up. Until, eventually, he wasn't Reiner Braun, the son living for anyone but himself anymore. He had become Reiner Braun, the friend and soldier finally making his own decisions. But it was fleeting, like a beaten dog always returning to its owner for food, he always found his way back. Escaping. Into this false reality where Eren wasn't a threat, a reality where he could just be what he was — a teenager, even if he was very mature and enrolling in yet another military. It was an escape, a dream, a wish.

And then they stood on that roof, discussing their plans, before they realized their fatal mistake: Marco. Reiner didn't think. At that moment, he was a warrior. Anything for his success. Everything was only for his success. No matter what or who he had to sacrifice. Marco was a sweet boy, nice and forthcoming, the exact opposite of these “monsters” he had been taught about. He felt with Annie when she hesitated, as he held him down. And then, he stood there, watching Marco getting gobbled down like a small snack. And he fled. How? How could he do this? Marco was his friend, no, his enemy, but what enemy that forgave him? It hurt, in his chest and in his brain, so he shut everything down. And then-

Wait, why was Marco getting eaten?

The second breaking of the wall was a plan. A return to the trauma he experienced. He knew how much damage he'd done. He'd seen the way they screamed, ran. Escaped for naught as they got caught and eaten and trampled and thrown. It was so similar. It was calculated and carefully crafted, but yet, there was a panic inside of him. He did his job, but by god, if there was one, how he just wanted to run. To die. They were just humans, just like him, his family, his mother, like all those who looked down on eldians, there was no difference. Not when they ran and screamed, terrified of the giants invading their home, their sanctuary. What was he doing, torturing, killing innocents? Children, people the farthest away from responsible for the crimes of their ancestors? People oblivious to their criminal past? Who was he, who were they to play judge?

And then, there he was — Eren, a Titan, no, not just any Titan. The Attack Titan, their goal, their mission. This was their objective, yet still his heart seemingly stopped beating. Eren was their mission. But the boy was reasonable, was he not? He was a Titan shifter, they definitely could talk to him, he hated Titans as much as they did, they could argue, he could convince him, he certainly could. So the next plan was set in motion. And from then on, everything seemed to fail miserably. The kidnapping backfired, Annie got captured, they nearly died, so then, Reiner made a decision.

Maybe his next decision already was one of tragedy, the stupid idea he had to tell Eren, tell him in front of basically everyone. The few feet of distance, what would they do? He didn't want to risk Bertholds life, yet he did, and his as well. A risk he took, a risk he nearly had to pay the price for. Precious seconds the difference between his death and survival, yet he survived. Maybe, he would ask himself later, maybe that already was the point where he wanted to die. The first attempt at a suicide, possibly. In the end, it all clumped together in his memory, a haze over his intentions and experiences, yet they still stung as clear as day. What was he doing?

Berthold died alone. And it was his fault. He couldn't protect him, he wasn't even there for him. No. He had to be saved, he had to be carried away, after loosing three titans, of which they only got back one, loosing a fourth was not an option. Reiner had failed. As a leader, a friend, a fighter, a warrior. He had failed Marley, failed to save his family, he was cursed with failure, and he was destined to forever be the symbol of incompetence. So they returned to Marley, while he grieved his only real friend. He was miserable. Reiner had failed at the easiest of tasks, he was supposed to be one of the best warriors of Marley, of the world, yet maybe they had been right. He wasn't prepared. He wasn't fit for this role. If only Marcel would have been alive. If only he would have died instead.

Marley was miserable, just like on Paradis, they lived in a cage, unlike on Paradis, he was a caged dog on a leash, a slave for war. He was home, yet he didn't feel farther away from home than he felt on Paradis. The fights, the senseless rage that Marley instilled into the next generation of warriors, it was nonsensical, complete lies fabricated in order to boost this way of thinking in black and white, their worldview. It was brainwashing at its finest. And now, as he was older, with what he saw himself, it seemed so clear, how could he have fallen for these blatant lies? The blatant propaganda? Marley was loud in such a different way to Paradis. The amount of times he wished he could just die, it was ridiculous. Yet somehow, he survived. He had been so close so often, rifle propped against the floor, the icy muzzle pressed into the wet cavern of his mouth, leftover gunpowder mixing with his saliva. Adrenaline pumped, his finger on the trigger. In less than a second, it all could be over. It would be over.

And he didn't shoot.

If only he had been strong enough to pull that trigger, he wouldn't have had to face Eren. Of all people, that boy a little bit too much like him, he may not have been a boy anymore, yes, but yet again, Reiner found himself begging for death, and again, he was not to be granted the release he so desperately sought. Again he was denied, and again he saw screaming, crying, running. Death. Another battlefield. Another detestation. Another Nightmare to add to his list.

The last mission. For one last time, an attack on Paradis. Return the Titans, stop them. That familiar haven, the familiar city and walls, years spent, wasted here, the place of his failure, the place of his sorrows. And finally, he was on the floor, he was ready to sacrifice himself, save one of the children, die at least in a meaningful way, he had surrendered. He was prepared. He had said his goodbyes, as there were none left to say. And then. Of course, even with his armour undone, his flesh nearly bitten through, there was something bound to get in his way. Another friend, another teammate lost.

Why was he surviving? Why was he the one everyone chose to safe? Why, why, why?

God, how he hated himself. How he wished he had pulled the trigger before meeting Eren again. If only he had accepted his fate. If only his mother wouldn't have pushed him. If only he wasn't born an eldian. If only he wasn't born at all.

And in the end, 80% of humanity had died. And he was still standing. So many of his friends were dead, his family was dead. Annie survived. God, how he had hated her at the start, how he had despised her way of icy rebellion. And now, they stood side by side and there was nothing he wanted to complain about. Reiner wondered if it had all played out differently, if he wouldn't hate himself so much if only he had been born on Paradis, together with his… was he allowed to calm them friends? He has betrayed them, attempted to kill them, was he really in the right to call himself a friend? The others didn't seem to mind, yet even after they decided to return to Paradis, he still couldn't shake, couldn't comprehend.

Why was he the one to survive?

[fizzing-imagines]

Hellfire After Hours GOOD END | Billy Hargrove x Plus Size! Alt! Reader

Notes: I loved writing this and am actually really proud of it. I hope y'all enjoy it just as much!

Warnings: Sexual Inuendos

Words: 300-ish

It's been eight years since Billy was miraculously saved at Starcourt Mall. And while it took him months to recover, multiple surgeries, weekly tips to the hospital and more sleepless nights in the ER than you ever wanted to experience, it was all worth it. As soon as he had his spine reconstructed the two of you moves to his hometown Los Angeles, got jobs there and bought a house near Huntington beach. Billy worked as a mechanic in a local carshop while you ended up working behind the counter at a bakery in the inner city. You found a new D&D party to join while Billy eventually got back into surfing once his doctor gave him the go. After three years together in LA, Billy proposed to you at Huntingdon Beach. Of course you said yes, how could you not when he went out of his way to find an engagement ring with an onyx instead of a diamond? Your high-school friends were invited to the wedding, and so was Billy's step-sister Max. He tried his best to fix their relationship, and while she kept a respectful distance they called each other from time to time. Neil wasn't invited. Neither you nor Billy wanted to ever see him again, and your now-husband despised him so much that he went against all traditions and took your last name. A year later, against all odds, you got pregnant. After weeks of talking, Billy and you decided to keep the child. Your daughter, Joanne (L/N), would be the only child the two of you have. Your husband was so scared of becoming a father throughout most of your pregnancy. Not because he didn't want this child but because he was terrified of becoming like his dad. You promised him to, quote, "Beat the living daylight out of him and break his spine again." if he ever becomes anything like Neil. But he was a wonderful father, Joanne was a total daddies girl and came after him. From her hair, eyes, and nose down to her love for surfing she was a carbon copy of Billy. Including getting into trouble.

Your husband and your daughter hid in her closet, giggling while eating the fresh cookies you made an hour ago. Since you said they should wait until after dinner, this was against your wishes. "William (L/N!)", you yelled upstairs while looking for Billy. Eventually, you got into your daughters room but when you heard Billy shush her laughter you couldn't be mad anymore and left the room. How could you be mad when you heard your little girl laugh? "Well, if my Billy and my Jojo are already full with cookies, I guess I can order a pizza just for myself.", you said loudly while leaving her room. The two in the closet looked at each other, quickly finished the rest of the cookies and followed after you. "Mommy, wait!", Jojo said while running after you. "I'm sooo hungry!" She followed you into the kitchen, Billy being shortly behind her. You were standing at the kitchen counter, phone in hand as you waited for the two of them. "Mommy!", Jojo said as she ran up to you and hugged your hip. "You can't let me go hungry." Of course you wouldn't do that, but it was so much fun to tease the two. "Yeah, mommy, you can't let me go hungry either.", your husband said to you with a suggestive smirk on his face. You playfully slapped him in the shoulder while handing him the pizza delivery pamphlet with ordering options on it.

Billy brought Joanne to bed while you got comfortable in your shared bed. He recently gifted you a new book on D&D, something you still enjoyed even while being a mother, and were skipping through the pages while waiting for your husband. It took him a good 30 minutes before he came into your master bedroom and got into bed next to you. He took the book out of your hands and while leaning over to your nightstand to put it down started kissing your neck.

"I'm still hungry.", he whispered into your ear before lightly biting down on your neck.

[maudlxne]

Thinking a lot about KAGOME lately and how her interpretation on my blog is a bit different than canon. Long post as a warning.

She's a 15-year-old girl, canonically, and angry, especially at the start of the series. My kagome in particular feels rather resentful and burdened by the fact she now has to collect jewel fragments ( even if it was partly her fault. Since she didn't think the jewel would shatter ) and as a result, is a lot angrier and mouthy at the start. Yes, she is rude, she's kind of cold and resentful. Especially being saddled with somebody who genuinely seems to despise her for something beyond her control. All she wanted to do was go to school, get good grades, and get a good job at some point. Make her mother proud. Maybe get a partner down the line. Not this.

As the series goes on, she begins to adapt better, Accepting the reality she is traversing between times to save the butterfly effect she put into motion. As well as taking the time to genuinely learn about the past rather than taking it for granted. ( ie always gripping about missing modern technology and luxuries start to mellow out.) The more she learns about Kikyo she partly can't blame Inuyasha for despising her in the beginning. Hell, she despises her too and is resentful of her as well. Always being compared to her both physically, emotionally, and ability wise would be hard on any person. Especially a 15-year-old teenager who barely knows who she is as a person. She also grows to be resentful towards her initial treatment of Inuyasha and how reckless she was with the sacred beads of subjection. Half abusing the power when her anger overwhelmed her.

As a result, she begins to only use them when absolutely necessary instead of as a punishment. Learning along the way and not really expecting forgiveness from people she hurt with her bitter attitude at the start. She even begins to love the past and what is perceived as 'home' starts to blur a bit as this is set during a rather large fundamental development period for her. She's determined to not become bitter and malicious like Kikyo and let it ruin her. ( At least the current Kikyo we see in the show. ) As time goes on, she grows. Thanks to the people who surround her and the many harsh life lessons she learns along the way. Seeing people who have it significantly worse than her. At the start, she's a rude, short-fussed, and mouthy teenager who starts to grow more into a better version of herself. Even if it takes a lot of hard life lessons along the way.

Does she expect Inuyahsa to forgive her? No. Would she like him to like her even just as a friend? Yes. Does she try to make it up to him? Also yes. She also tries her darndest to make up to their other party members as well. Knowing she was sometimes out of line and childish. Delaying departing at the whims of her tantrums and leaving to go home when upset.

[lunarthefrieschild]

(Sorcerer!Lunar x Canon! Henry)

Fluff/Lunar wanting to save the world and spend her life with someone everyone despise except in her eyes./Lunar not entering high school due to wanting to be a expert sorcerer so she skips it and never met any of her friends except henry, her childhood friend♡

Lunar and her father is extremely close when she was a kid and her father loves spending his free times with her.But sadly her father rarely has a free times due to his high ranks-..Lunar actually have taken and received her father shape shift strong abilities but since she's dumb she just use it for wholesome and cute things only to her liking- Her father is busy but he actually can just come home and greet his lovely family but he decided to not. Because he doesn't want the enemies to involve anything with his loves one and kill them.If lunar use her abilities smartly she probably will become a sorcerer or something to make her dad proud it's not like his dad is not proud of her she just wanted to return his kindness in justice by becoming a hero just like him<33!!she probably will spend a LOTS OF TIMES with her loves one and being 10× nicer to them before her missions because she said she don't know if she can see them again-.. She scared of losing them.She rather lose her life than her love one just like her father!

She's scared if she die she won't be protecting her loves one.She's scared that the love of her life die in front of her eyes in misery..She didn't want the same tragedy to repeats.. Lunar at first though that was UNFAIR she hates talking about her father to people because she's too sad to even listen. . She couldn't accept the world forgetting about her father slowly. But the more and more she aged.. After she hits puberty she realized that she just needs to continue her father generations and make him proud.Lunar believes her father is the sweetest person she ever met.Lunar believes she shall returns all his kindness to the world.She believes the world need to remember the " hero" who sacrifice himself for the society, the city, the world.She decides her fate.

"I've decided to be a sorcerer"

*she decides from her heart with true passions and bravery*

She made that decisions cause of wanting her father generations to continues but specifically..She decides it because she deeply miss her father and want someone to see her soul in the way of "you're kindness really reminds me of your father♡". .

The compliments she always appreciated, the compliments she wanted to hear everyday and be proud, the compliments she will go to heaven and met her father while saying "someone says my kindness reminds me of you!! "

Could anyone or anybody understand how much a compliment means to her?? She continues her fates, she will continues being calm as a waves..She do all this to justify him.No one understands how much she loves him.When she was a child.Where she have nobody..Her mom usually are busy being a professional doctors takes a lot of overtime and causes not to sleep.Lunar is used to not have any one in that age and got manipulated by other villagers saying that her father's generations was evil.SHE DENIES IT.She never really cares about all them.Lunar were never as talkative as how she is with her dad before he pass away.Growing up means she needs to spreads more kindness and spend more times with her loves one.Even though she didn't want to die due to wanting to protect her loves one.. She rather sacrifice herself If that's really the only way.

Henry..

"Henry was someone I could trust and lend on.Someone that understands my passions, decisions and fates.He's my friend.My friend I've known since..The one who already knows it all since we've started friending.The one I adores.. The only friend that meet my father before he passed away."

Henry used to be a childish grumpy guy in lunar eyes but that's what make him different than others too.He have his own way of understatement.But as soon he gets more mature and knowledge about her fate he started to softens his voice and gaze whenever he talk to her. He respects her decisions as a "hero"..He promise he try to be more gentle because he know he didn't have much time with her.His voice is a little hoarse now but it still turns soft when he speaks to you. demeanor more cold now but his eyes still perks up when he sees you. and when you embrace him in your arms, he feels home. not a care in the world. like he is a teenage again, falling in love for the first time.

[hauntedsuns]

Hellsite ate the last ask so kvasir infodumping, tell the world ABT our oc

lets see,,, Kvasir my baby, the one OC that will feature in at least one(1) fanfic

they didn't understand they were weaving a web until they had wrapped both Mike&Jon so tightly in it, it was starting a tug of war with Annabelle's web, they aren't a violent person but have learned how to pack a punch, don't actually know about the Entities but have always accepted it as normal due to their family, are very affectionate, have thought about 'getting rid of their murder issue' before seriously becoming friends with mike by telling their siblings about him&letting them handle it their way but couldn't bring themselves to do it, Kvasir is also generally more on the Avatars' side of things,,like yeah, that does suck for you but they have to eat and I'm not getting involved in this, would absolutely kill for their friends&family(and after Becoming has done so) scared themselves so bad after going all Spider-y to protect Mike&Jon and seeing their split second still spider reflection they passed out, accidentally used their power's for the first time(and instead of weaving their own web grabbed annabelle's by mistake) absolutely loves annabelle and happily hosts her, has a slight meltdown when she reveals to them that she is very much the reason they Became this quickly, would fistfight Jonah if Jon asked, later on purposefully weaves their Web around their family&friends to protect them and try to keep them safe, is very proud of their burns but covers up because it makes their siblings feel guilty&bc they despise the pity&hesitancy of others, terribly afraid of the Vast in a metaphorical sense but not the physical ways it presents

[marveltmntgirl]

Name: Nylla, like (Va)nilla. No last name, duh

Age: ok get ready... 1,000+, BUT, BUT!!! Mentally like a PTSD ridden 17 year old :)

Height: ok, get ready... 6'0" :) Raph loves a tall queen. (he's 5'4" in my mind okay let me have this short king)

Species: Angel 🫨

Appearance:

Picrew is Astrolavas’ Maker 2.0

Important Features: Ugh she's so pretty. Anyway- long, LONG black hair in box braids (Picrew didn't have the option but you get the idea, it's voluminous). She can tie them up or have them whipping around, whatever she wants. Sharp, bright blue eyes, dark skin, wide nose, full lips. Big angel wings ofc. STRONG BODY!! She's got broad shoulders and MUSCULAR arms!! This is important to me!!

Personality: Solemn, patient, strong-willed, protective, deeply caring (she cares so much), passionate

Relationships

Raph - Sees bits of herself in Raph and in his passion to protect, the first person in a long time to challenge her and get her to open up— uh oh, what are these feelings??

Leo - she sees much of his father in him, is proud of his rise to leadership

Mikey - Cares for him in an almost-mom way, sees how he wants to be the 'fixer' of the family but is suffering from a lack of acknowledgment

Donnie - admires his intellect, is worried that he leaves his heart too unguarded

Splinter - best friend and also weirdly a father figure to her, they chat over tea every day 💅

Casey - Raph's twin, in a bad way. Please stop encouraging him

April - Doesn't dislike, but doesn't connect to very much

Shredder - Disappointed, despises, gets a little shaken up by several times

Karai - Too far gone, doesn't consider part of the family to protect

Omorfiá - Oh dear, a human disaster. Leo, get away from her.

Grace - Approves, thinks shes very sweet, becomes a mother-like figure to

Bláthanna - Oh no another human disaster— Mikey get away from her.

Abilities:

Flight (duh)

Invisibility

Minor wound healing

Creation Backstory:

I... don't remember exactly how I came up with Nylla. I guess the first two are more special to me :) (jk jk)... tbh I just wanted to make two characters to pair with Raph and Mikey, partly for online RP and partly to complete the set... this may be why these two feel a bit different to me. I'm not even sure how old I was when I made them, I might have been 14-15...

She was, once again, inspired by a single picture, a Valkyrie type fan art. Originally this was an angel character wearing armor and with blonde hair. I held on to the blonde hair for a bit before thinking... "Why would she have blonde hair?? She's not wearing wigs or getting it done??" So I changed that to braids, and that has remained fairly consistent. As with most of my characters, once I found a Picrew that could capture my mental picture, Nylla came together visually through that.

Nylla went through a few shifts in clothing. At first I kept her in her inspiring-image outfit of some sort of chest-plate armor. Then I kind of figured that wouldn't work in her past or present, so I changed it to a kimono for missions and a sort of modern-japan styled outfit for downtimes. Later on I was kind of never using the downtime clothing so I narrowed it down to one outfit: a white and black keikogi and black jika-tabi (yeah... I do my research)

Another change was she used to have a sword that was only sharp, or something stupid like that, in her hands (mjolnir much?). I ended up dropping that too.

She started as a MAJOR pick-me. Like, wow, it was bad. It might still be bad. I'm trying to tone it down. But she's always been a protective figure and ingrained in the Hamato history since the beginning. And I mean the BEGINNING. But the mix of her backstory and wanting to be accepted in the present family resulted in some... bad moments. Horribly cringy. It's a hard balance. I kind of just had to chill her out and work out the flaws in her personality (and also... grow up a bit myself, I was probably projecting).

Now I would say... Nylla is still one of the toughest and arguably more complex characters to write, with her apprehension to open up emotionally due to past pains, but also her desire to have close connections because she broke the "angel rules" and had close connections in the first place. But she is also incredibly fun, a badass, and is a vehicle for emotional maturity and themes of motherhood and the trials and different forms of love and how grief can change you throughout your life, and what that could look like if you've loved for 1,000 years...

Sorry, I started rambling. I kinda tapped into my older sibling/parentification energy writing her :,)

Nylla can fly. Of course, she's an angel. She can also turn invisible. I felt like that would be interesting and also kind of make sense, since angels aren't supposed to be seen, but they stick out pretty obviously. So, invisibility :) Technically, it's just them shifting into a different light spectrum than the human eye can see, if you wanna know the fictional science. Healing, well... shes an angel, and a protector, she has to bring something to the table. It does have its limitations. She can only heal surface wounds of minor to medium size, it's gonna scar, and it takes her energy to do it so she has a limit to what she can heal in a day. She cant heal illnesses or terminal sickness either.

Developing most characters of mine kind of goes with the thought process "okay, REALISTICALLY, how would this affect their appearance/personality". And seeing some online theories regarding the MCU's Falcon and his INSANE core strength to be able to fly... I came to the logical conclusion that Nylla is hella jacked :) and thus came to the even more logical and almost canon conclusion that Raph loves buff women. You're welcome.

Because she's very involved in the daily lives of the Hamato's, she has to live close by. I always had her living in the higher levels of the Dojo tree (from the 2012 show) and that's kind of stuck ever since. I just think it's so fun... her setup is almost treehouse like, with a platform made of salvaged wood and a suspended canopy bed, and her few belongings scattered about in open boxes. Homeless aesthetic :)

I made Nylla with the intention of her eventual romance with Raph, so their relationship was already in mind with her creation, but it went through a lot of changes in dynamic. It's a tricky thing to work with an ageless character who's supposed to be romantically involved with a far younger, aging being. It's hard to not dip into the weird Edward x Bella vibes. My only excuse is... I made her when I was a preteen, so... it wasn't intended to be creepy? I just wanted her to be cool.

I think now I have it settled, and have always had this in mind, that Nylla and Raph's relationship is a slow one that never really "happens" (i.e., real big romantic gestures don't happen) until years after their initial meeting. It starts with an initial distrust and distance between them that is slowly bridged with mutual challenge of their characters and beliefs, mutual love for their family, understanding and connection over their passionate and protective natures, and a friendship that grows deeper and more intimate over time.

I really enjoyed weaving her into the Hamato storyline up to the present day. I don't remember if her story was always so heartwarming and also tragic, but it ended up becoming a really sweet found-family/outliving said family as an immortal kind of story. My favorite parts to write/think about are flashbacks to Japan and her old life there...

Spin offs:

SEVEN YEARS — I haven't written Nylla's part for Seven Years yet, but it will most likely keep close to her original story with themes and notes. A protector, forbidden/long simmering affection, etc.

A KNIGHT TO REMEMBER — This is also not written yet but I have sat on this story idea for years. I just love the idea of Nylla as a knight (maybe a nod back to her inspiring picture) escorting a haughty prince through the snowy forests... the VIBES...

If I had to describe Nylla in one word: Muscles 😳

If I had to decribe Nylla in three words: Buff mom friend

[aysen14]

My BLOG

Who are you?

Who exactly am I? So, my name is Aizen, and I don't have any nicknames. I am currently 20 years old and live in Atimonan, Quezon, a town full of lovely scenery and wonderful people. I enrolled in the Multimedia Arts course since it matched my interests well. Both of my parents are teachers, and I have a younger sibling named Azlee (he is a boy). I love photography, and it has now become my job, from which I am earning a good living. My clients are mainly from events like weddings, birthdays, corporate gatherings, christenings, etc. Additionally, I work as a freelancer at some studios in Quezon, particularly in Lucena. My photographic experience has been enjoyable, with one of the highlights being the opportunity to meet new photographer/videographer friends and fantastic clients. It can be challenging to wake up early in the morning when your call time for a shoot is too early, but you forget about it because you have this passion burning inside your heart. I started shooting pictures while I was in high school, specifically as a Grade 9 student, using my phone. The process when I first started is extremely memorable, and I am happy about it. I began with the things I already had because my parents couldn't afford a camera due to its expense. Now, I am proud to say that I have purchased one of the most expensive cameras on the market, the Nikon Z6 Mark 2. Now I won't have to struggle to borrow a camera from my classmates who despise lending cameras—LOL! Besides my interest in cameras, I have a girlfriend, a very lovely partner named Joyce Allyn M. Campomanes. She is also enrolled at STI Lucena, pursuing the BSBA course. I've known her since seventh grade at the same school we both attended, OLAA in Atimonan. We've been in a relationship for approximately 4 years, almost 5, and we're both delighted. You've read parts of my story. Let's move on to the next section, and I'll tell you more about it. Please start reading now.

Achievements/Highlights in life

One of my life achievements involves earning a consistent income from my freelancing work. I am delighted that my profession as a Freelance Photographer has enabled me to provide financial support for myself. Being an event photographer was unexpected since I didn't anticipate it evolving this way when I first started capturing things like toys, landscapes, textures, and so on, and sharing them on social media simply because I enjoyed it. Consequently, several of my friends and clients began liking my work, and it gradually became a passive source of income. Moving from referrals to having my own clients is a significant achievement for me. My first camera was a Canon 6D, a gift from my photographer friend, Alvaro Garcia, who owns Alvaro Garcia Photography in Lucena. He happens to be my cousin's classmate. My cousin is also in the same line of work, but he's a videographer. Alvaro Garcia decided to sell his Canon 6D camera, and my cousin suggested it to me, stating that it's an excellent choice, especially for novices like me at the time. To acquire this camera that he was selling, I needed to talk to my parents about purchasing it for me. However, there were others ahead of me, and my parents hadn’t allowed me to make the purchase. This made me upset with them. Little did I know, after a few days, they talked to me about it and said they would buy it for me. I was happy at that time. Many years have passed, and that camera, the Canon 6D, has earned me a lot of money. It enabled me to purchase not only my dream lenses but also my two dream camera bodies, the Canon R6 Mark 2, and the Nikon Z6 Mark 2. I am thankful that the money I used to acquire my current lenses and bodies came from my own hard work, not from my parents. Even though I am still a student, I can now provide for myself and purchase the things I want in life. I can pay my monthly bills and live independently with my own money, all thanks to my passion, hard work, and my lovely clients that trusted me with my style of photography.

How do you see yourself 5 years from now?

In the next five years of my life, I envision reaching new heights in my career as a photographer. I am determined to establish my very own studio, a creative space where I can not only hone my craft but also provide exceptional services as a recognized Photo and Video event supplier. Becoming a notable figure in the field is not just a goal but a testament to the dedication and passion I pour into every project. Beyond my role as an event photographer, I aspire to diversify my business ventures. I see myself delving into additional entrepreneurial pursuits, leveraging my skills and experience to create thriving enterprises. The success I achieve in these ventures will be a direct result of the hard work and perseverance I dedicate to my craft.

Importantly, I want my family to be an integral part of this journey. In the coming years, I envision involving them in my businesses, creating a collaborative and supportive environment. The satisfaction of sharing successes with my family is a key aspect of my vision. Their involvement not only strengthens our bonds but also contributes to the collective achievement of our goals. In my relationship with Joyce Allyn M. Campomanes, I see continued growth and mutual support. As my partner, I want her to be an essential part of the success I achieve. Together, we can navigate challenges, celebrate victories, and build a future filled with shared accomplishments. Our relationship will not only be a source of personal happiness but also a pillar of strength that enhances my overall well-being.

Ultimately, I am excited about the upcoming years and the opportunities they hold. I am committed to putting in the hard work necessary to turn these aspirations into reality, creating a fulfilling and successful life both professionally and personally.

[hello-nichya-here]

Uh stupid question because I didn't pay attention... how did Ozai abuse Azula apart from abandoning her before burning the Earth Kingdom? If you want to, you could even make a list

Just like Ozai's abuse of Zuko started long before he ever gave that boy a scar, his abuse of Azula is quite clear in the show, and the only reasons people miss it are:

1 - He never physically abused her

2 - When showing what life at the palace is like, the narrative focuses almost exclusively on Zuko (who has a physical, undeniable evidence of abuse literally burned on his face, and who Azula often acted as an antagonist to in the story)

Let me get to the specifics so you understand.

Conditional "Love"

Let’s get the biggest misconception the fandom has about Ozai and Azula’s relationship out of the way: Ozai doesn’t care about Azula, and that is VERY CLEAR, even back in “Zuko Alone” when she was just eight years old. Ozai is a terrible father to Zuko, yes, but that doesn’t automatically means he was a good parent to Azula.

“But she is his favorite!” Yeah, she’s his favorite weapon. His favorite soldier. There isn’t a single scene in the entire series in which Ozai isn’t using Azula as some kind of prised possession that he can show off to people and is instead treating her like a kid he is proud of and LOVES, or having some normal father-daughter time with her, or having a meal with her, or showing her any amount of care, or demonstrating that he is aware of (or interested in knowing about) anything that is going on in her personal life. Not a single one. For fuck’s sake, even Iroh giving her that stupid doll was sweeter than anything did for her, and even Toph just saying “You’re pretty good, I admit that” during the invasion was more genuine than any affection Ozai showed her.

Azula is only his favorite because she is a prodigy. Ozai doesn’t give a shit who she is as a person, and if she were to ever lose her bending or fail to meet his expectations, he would immediately start despising her.

Fear, Mimicking And Scapegoats

When we look at many of Azula's words and actions, we can see that A LOT of it is obviously her immitating Ozai (90% of all the awful things she said in "Zuko Alone" were obviously things she heard from Ozai, and in Black Sun the show basically screamed SHE'S COPYING HER DAD when they added that transition from Ozai manipulating Zuko to Azula manipulating Sokka). That's something very important to take into consideration when discussing her character, but ESPECIALLY when looking into how she was abused.

It is VERY common for abuse victims to (conciously or not) try to copy their abuser and praise themso they'll be seen as being a loyal friend/relative/partner that is on their side, and not as a potential target. It is also very common for abusive parents to favor one kid over the other - and for “the golden child” to be terrified of ever becoming the scapegoat that is blamed for every misfortune and that can’t do anything right. Azula’s lines of “You can’t treat me like that, you can’t treat me like Zuko!” and “I deserve to be by your side!” come to mind.

That shows us that she is aware her father’s “love” for her is conditional, and that her being a prodigy who knows what to say to him is the ONLY reason why she is not treated like her brother.

Which brings us to two other major things that are over-looked: Being forced to witness abuse is a form of abuse, and psychologists have found that it is very common for the eldest child to be seen by their younger siblings as example of what to do AND what not to do. Ozai burned his son, his heir, in front a crowd - that included his 11-year-old daughter. That was him punishing Zuko, yes, but it was also him sending everyone, including Azula, a very clear message “Don’t EVER piss me off, no matter how important you think you might be, or else.” The novelizations of the show make that even clearer when it has Azula explicitly terrified of being disfigured when Ozai yells at her in the finale.

Impossible Standards

Let’s go back to that “I deserve to be by your side” line. By that point, Ozai had ONE “justification” to be a douch-bag to her: she lied to him about Zuko killing the Avatar. However, he wasn’t really acting any different in the episodes before he found out about that.

Let’s think about what he asked of her: Capture Zuko and Iroh. She captured Iroh, conquered Ba Sing Se, and brought him an extra heir that he believes is so powerful and strong that he killed the Avatar. She went above and beyond for her father, and it wasn’t enough. And even when you consider that Zuko “killed” Aang and Ozai put him at his right hand, the bastard still didn’t properly invite him to the meeting, and there’s no way he didn’t know this was going to fuck with Zuko’s mind. And Ursa killed his father and forged his will, allowing him to be Fire Lord, and also sparing him from having to kill one of his heirs, and was rewarded by being banished.

Nothing anyone does is ever enough for Ozai, nor will it ever be, and the show straight up rejects the idea that Azula is the exception to this. Zuko said that Ozai used to say that Azula was born lucky while he was lucky to be born, which yeah is a horrible thing to say to his son, but it's also him dismissing all of Azula's talent, effort and success as dumb luck, which is just heartbreaking considering how hard she works to please him. Her introduction episode has her chastising herself for having one hair out of place while practicing her firebending because almost isn't good enough. The mere fact that Azula tried to hide the possibility of Aang having survived, even after all of her acomplishments, shows that Ozai doesn't forgive mistakes and/or failures from anyone, not even his "favorite".

Emotional Isolation/Manipulation

Ozai is a manipulative bastard. He knows how to make his victims stand with him when they shouldn't and even blame themselves for the awful things he does to them. Once again, Azula is not the exception.

The earliest example we can see of that is in "Zuko Alone." The things Azula says about the potential/real deaths of her family members and the grief her other relatives are experiencing are disturbing... but not just because of how it affects the people she says those things to.

Ask yourself: Who put all of these ideas in her head? Who made her think of her own family as obstacles to be dealt with? Who told her, an 8-year-old, that her grandfather was going to die? Who made this child believe that not only is there nothing wrong with a father not caring that his child is death, but also that it is a sign of weakness to care about someone in her family to die and for the others to mourn them? It was obviously Ozai.

And what are other things that he taught her? Again "Almost isn't good enough" aka, "You're not worth a goddamn thing unless you're absoultely perfect" (something no human can be, and something completely unfair to demand of anyone, especially of a child). He is not being unreasonable, oh no, obviously his traumatized kid is the problem.

"Fear is the only reliable way" once again, a terrible thing to teach to anyone, let alone a child, and yet another instance of Ozai avoding responsibility for his own actions - he is not threatening to everyone, including his children, because he's an abusive asshole, oh no, it is simply normal to use fear to control others. This one also has the bonus of giving Azula a completely warped idea of how human relationships work, to the point that, in the end, she has no one but her father.

And that wasn't the only way Ozai isolated Azula. "Your brother Zuko is a failure" "She was born lucky, I was lucky to be born." The bastard made damn sure that his two kids, his two victims, would never try to find support in each other - Azula because she'd be afraid of being seeing as a failure for reaching out to/caring about her brother, and Zuko because he was taught to believe that his misery and disgrace, as a natural consequence, would result in his sister happiness and glory. It worked so well that even when Zuko realized that Ozai was abusing him, it didn't even occour to him that maybe Azula wasn't having that great of a life either. Again, the result is Azula having no one but Ozai.

And how does he deal with the responsibility of being the only person she has left? He excludes her from the biggest moment in the war so he can have all the glory to himself AND devastating her since she quite clearly just wanted to make him proud and, like she said, just be by his side. But then, suddenly, he lets her know that he is counting on her to defend their home, and that it's such an important task he can't trust anyone but her to handle it, and as a reward, she will be Fire Lord! This recontextualizes every single one of his actions as being done for her own good, and for her future...

Except he will be Phoenix King. The title of Fire Lord means nothing now, so Azula being given that crown is nothing but an empty gesture that was meant to manipulate her - just like Ozai treating Zuko somewhat nicely after he "killed the Avatar", then suddenly going back to being a dick and not inviting him to the meeting, and then having him at his right hand, and, finally, trying to kill him the second he noticed he was no longer willing to be a puppet. Ozai gives zero fucks about the emotional needs of either of his kids, and has the habit of giving them the affection and validation they so desperately want, only to then take it away for no reason.

Child Soldier

This one is a bit more tricky since having teenagers and even kids actively fighting in the war is far too normalized in the world of Avatar, but when you look at it, Ozai still stands out as the most obviously bad parent of the bunch.

On the day of the invasion, there are a bunch of kids the same age as Azula, and even younger, fighting. However, the heroes have limited numbers so the kids being involved is far more justified, and the second everything is going to hell, the adults all surrender so the kids will have a chance to live to fight another day. Meanwhile, Ozai has an entire army, plus the Dai Li agents, and has Azula acting as bait without her bending, while he is hidden away. If Ozai gave a shit about his kids, they'd both be hidden away with him because, sure, the guards and especially the Dai Li can protect them, but he clearly still deemed too dangerous for himself... and had his favorite essentially acting as his shield. Again, when you combine this with him trying to kill Zuko for standing up to him AND his complete lack of compassion for Iroh when Lu Ten died AND the fact that he conspired to murder his own father, the message is very clear: if it means he'll survive/be king, Ozai has no problem with either of his kids dying - be it by an enemy attack or by his own hands.

Conclusion

Azula deserved better and Ozai can go fuck himself.

[katsuflossy]

Can I request headcanons for Bakugou, Shinsou and Deku where they like someone who can be very honest and blunt so sometimes their comments might come off as an accidental roast or maybe they didn't read the room and didn't sugarcoat something they said? It was never out of malice, but they don't have a filter if you know what I mean?

Their Blunt S/o

Pairings: Bakugo x reader, Izuku x reader, Shinso x reader

Warnings: a lil’ obscenities, one la ganja joke.

A/n: Sorry for the long wait. I myself is quite blunt but I didn’t want the reader to be completely mean 😭 I hope you like it!!

Taglist: @goatsenpaiultimate @sunset-novice-writer

💥 Really loves how you smoke everyone with your blunt ass (huehuehue marijuana joke)

💥 He’s usually on the same wavelength as you; you two are both crude, poison-laced tongue individuals.

💥 But you don’t mean any harm at times while Katsuki does.

💥 The first time you guys met was when he was talking about how he’ll destroy Midoriya during the first quirk test of the class.

💥 The scene was taking up all the time in the day and you were hungry. So you intervened. “Just get on with it. You’re wasting everyone’s time here Atomic Blonde.”

💥 I made that joke already just leave me alone

💥 He turned around, ready to light your ass on fire however Aizawa wrapped him up like a mummy before he could reach you.

💥 Really despised you for a while. Mans is upset because you don’t care about what comes out your mouth and you’re always pointing out some flaws in his technique or personality.

💥 But the miracle happens that he saw how your comments actually pushed him to perform better in both school work and training.

💥 Thus you are integrated in the Bakusquad! 🥳

💥 He loves your presence, eyeing you while you both help the rest in the frequent study sessions, Laughing when you comment on Denki’s lame pick up lines and Kirishima’s clumsy ass.

💥 When it’s his turn, he goes all dramatic with it to keep your attention on him. Once your eyes land on him, he intends to keep them there by any means necessary. The usual strategy is to tease and start a roast session that becomes a staple in your everyday lives.

💥 He really appreciates how you treat him differently than everyone else.

💥 So when everyone was pitying him after his kidnap and the battle of All Might vs AFO. He was so frustrated.

💥 The day he arrived to school, everyone was willing to do everything for him: hold his bag, get him lunch and other offers that made him seem helpless.

💥 So the day when everyone was in the lounge room and Kirishima offered to take his suitcase upstairs, you decided to say a few words.

💥 “Why are you doing that? He’s not a fucking baby. Stop treating him like a limping wolf.” You then turned to Bakugo. “And you, we get it. Your backbone is strong and you hate being helpless but sometimes you need fucking help both physically and mentally so be an actual man and actually fucking talk instead of blabbering all this unphased bullshit.”

💥 Dead silence dissipated all the nonsensical talk in the room before Bakugo stormed off, a shadow casted over his brow as his fingers creaked under its own force to remain fisted.

💥 As soon as he left, Tsuyu turned to you criticising your approach even though it was true. But the truth hurts and you believe everyone should deal with the pain 🤷🏽‍♀️ cmon bad bitch

💥 Arrived at your door after the whole brawl with Midoriya, jaw puffed and red coordinating with a nasty gash on his arm. You dragged him in, berating his choices on releasing his emotions like a neanderthal. Among the constant scolds, he silenced you with a simple sentence.

💥 “I’m sorry. You were right and I need to talk to someone.”

💥 The night consisted of him talking about his life, insecurities and fears while attempting to compose his emotions. With a little push, all the feelings he kept where released to the wild, for the better.

💥 Now he has a whole new meaning for liking you.

🥦 Little baby boy can hardly withstand your bluntness

🥦 Attempts to be your translator if someone takes your words wrong.

🥦 Your critiques aren’t the nicest so Midoriya fills that gap in.

🥦 He’s always as flabbergasted as the receiver of your comments. His verdant eyes widened grandly and as he inhales a sharp gasp. After the shock he turns to the person with apprehension, letting your intentions be known in a softer version than it was given.

🥦 “Tenya, don’t ever try to make breakfast again. The eggs were shit like how did you even burn the water?” Midoriya quickly jumped in, waving his hands erratically to ensure no harm. “S-she meant that your eggs were—ehm— had a little saltiness to them and also to try keep the fire to—uh m-medium?”

🥦 Scared that someone will beat your ass over something you said but that isn’t no problem because that mouth comes with a good pair of hands.

🥦 But he really admires your sharp tongue and frank mind. Unlike hisself, you plough through all nervous talks and thoughts, making your thoughts as clear as day.

🥦 But he’s not excluded from any harsh comments.

🥦 After figuring out why he almost missed the talent show, you laid it on thick.

🥦”Are you completely nuts? Couldn’t you wait on Rappa or I don’t know call someone from up here to get security? You really just love to throw yourself in trouble, don’t you?”

🥦 Ngl, it did sting a little but whatever Izuku believed he did right, he will forever be proud of it. Aside from that, he is hurt that you thought his actions were irrational.

🥦 Noticing his frown and glossy eyes, you quickly apologised, not intending to ridicule his actions.

🥦 “Izuku, I...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I was just really worried and I care for you a lot.”

🥦 If he was close to crying from before he’s in tears now. His blush ignited his face as his mind mulled over your confession.

🥦 He accepted your apology and as his heart couldn’t take anymore blatant affection from a girl, you hugged him, hugged him.

🥦 And that’s how Midoriya fell even more hopelessly in love with you.

🎆 The tired baby boy

🎆 He is also blessed with the ability to be brash, although it is underhanded.

🎆 but he definitely noticed how brash you were when he confronted Class 1A before the sports festival.

🎆 The tension between Bakugo and the students outside palpable, the mixture of agitation and unease stifled the air everyone breathed until you trod to the door.

🎆 “Are you boys done with your little intimidation battle? Because I have an anime to binge watch and I’d rather not have it wait any longer.” You then turned to Shinso.

🎆 “By the way your hair is really cute.”

🎆 You left everyone gobsmacked as you passed through the crowd without fail, as if you didn’t even interrupt a brewing clash a second ago. But no one was as gobsmacked as Shinso who was blushing from the compliment.

🎆 Ever since, your bluntness has not wavered even after becoming friends with him through Kaminari and Sero.

🎆 You obviously showed you liked him. Your frank attitude included being downright honest in your attraction to him and others.

🎆 Exhaustion clouded his eyes heavily as he walked past your lunch table filled with Class 1A’s girls talking about their fears for the future. Mina’s almost drawn to tears about the upcoming math test as Uraraka consoled her worries.

🎆 Everyone was nervous, anxiety wore on their face and through the sounds of nail biting from Hagakure.

🎆 As soon as the mind control quirk wielder caught your eye, you couldn’t stop yourself from talking.

🎆 “Shinsou is so handsome. And he’s getting quite buff judging by how his shirt was constricting from before. Don’t you guys think?”

🎆 Your comment was loud enough to reach the by-passer, who blushed at the sudden compliment. His hand naturally travelled to the nape of his neck, soothing his own embarrassment as the table’s eyes, in particular yours, laid on him, waiting on his response.

🎆 “Why t-thank you, (Y/n)” He nodded in acknowledgment of your compliment and then walked briskly off to his own table.

🎆 Mina turned towards you as he was out of ear range. “Have you no shame?! I was crying about my grades before you suddenly wanted to say Shinso was hot.”

🎆 Everybody started saying how random and sudden you were before you shrugged your shoulders.

🎆 “A girl knows what she likes.”

🎆 Shinso eventually warms up to your sudden compliments and impartial bluntness

🎆 The two of you were eventually called a“pair of blunt knives” by Kaminari.

🎆 Doesn’t matter, it’s a cute couple name ☺️.

[rainywritingsx]

Torn • BNHA X OC • Chapter 1

You can find the prologue here. I thought posting the first chapter would be fun too and I’m thinking of updating the fanfiction weekly if people really like it. Please let me know what you think! Leave a like or reblog if you enjoyed it please. I think that’s it, enjoy reading and I hope you have a wonderful day!!

xxx admin rainbow

Words: 1622

“I don’t think you realise how dangerous you could be.” My twin brother smirked as we made our way to school.

"Seventy percent of the human body consist of water, and you have the ability to control any fluid in the universe! You can basically make the whole world your slaves if you train your quirk enough." I sighed softly, not feeling the need to reply to his boring words that I'd probably heard a million times already. I was born with this power, did he think I wouldn't have figured that out after fourteen years?

I mean how couldn't I, when my father, despite my mother's protests, had been training me since I was four up until this year, because according to him training at school would be enough.

"Mom and dad will be so proud when you can finally go into the field too, Janie." He said, his voice dripping with pride and

excitement for my future. I, however, wasn't as interested in that, I must say. But I didn't say that out loud of course, due to the fact that I know that's not what he'd like to hear and I wasn't in the mood to argue with him right now. Not like I ever was in the mood to do that.

You see, unlike my younger siblings, I had the big responsibility which would be given to me as soon as I became the new leader of the so-called 'villain world', which would most likely happen as soon as my parents decided to stop - that would take a while considering they found their job absolutely lovely. Any villain would've been stoked for something like this, but me? I despised it from the day I was born.

Yes, there was a very small proportion of 'villains' that actually had some rational ideals, like them not agreeing with some situations though they were seen as 'right'. For example: Stain, the hero killer, didn't have the worst ideas in my opinion. He didn't agree with the fact that some heroes didn't become heroes with the intent of helping people. All they wanted was fame and glory. He decided to kill anyone he deemed unworthy of being a hero and kept the worthy ones alive. So, yes, his way of handling them was a completely different case but he had some decent morals.

However, the majority of this community was filled with people who just wanted to inflict pain on others, see their terrified faces before taking away possessions or sometimes even their lives. I did not want to associate myself with people like that.

And those were the exact kind of villains my parents were. As parents, they were just normal people but everyone knew both went ballistic during fights against heroes. There were some stories of heroes who could still hear my mother's psychotic laugh as she killed their allies. My dad would always look his victims right in the eye as he did whatever he wanted to do. I can't even imagine the amount of sins that they must've committed.

They expected me to be at least as crazy as them when I took over, but I wasn't even planning on becoming a villain at all. Even if some villains had ideas that seemed okay, it didn't make up for their actions. I wanted to become a hero and whether I'd become famous or not didn't matter to me. Helping people was all I wanted to do. However, we should put the emphasis on "wanted". I couldn't become a hero, my whole family would consider me absolutely insane.

We entered the school and parted our ways since we had different classes until lunch break. I never minded that, to be completely honest. We weren't the type of siblings that couldn't live without each other. I didn't have that relationship with any of my siblings. (I've got three younger brothers, I'm thirteen minutes older than my twin brother so yes I'd consider myself older, the others are twelve and ten.) Sure, we all cared about each other but we didn't have the tight bond some siblings do have. I thought that that was partly due to my parents, who never really let us do things together to get closer to each other. It was only when we got older that we started doing some things together. Maybe it was also due to our ideals being different but of course he didn't know that.

As for my two other younger siblings, they were a lot closer to each other so there never really was a need for them to have this really tight bond with my brother and I. Those two were completely fine as a duo.

I entered the classroom, not saying a word as I walked over to my seat. I also never really bonded with my class either. It didn't have to do with what I though, but more because of the fact that I was the daughter of the two most notorious villains ever. Nobody would ever talk to me and I had the tendency to be quite shy at first, so I never took the first step either.

"Alright everyone! Please open your books, classes will start now!" Our English and homeroom teacher, miss Deceit said with a bright smile on her face in the same annoyingly high tone she always used. "Today's lesson will be really exciting!" Maybe her name gave it away already, but she was a teacher who was great at creating illusions. After training for years and years, she could make someone's biggest fear and taunt people with those images. And people tend to do strange things when they're absolutely terrified... Sometimes a slightly less deathly version of that is used as a punishment for students, but only in very extreme cases. Now that she had reached an older age, she mostly used her quirk to make classes more fun than they actually are and the majority falls for it, but my parents taught me how to deal with quirks like that so it almost became like a reflex that I saw right through it.

And if you were wondering how on earth some of these villains were able to even set a foot in the outside world, there were two answers: serving in jail and fake identities. Some villains were able to get away with certain crimes and that way they got a shorter sentence, so after they served in jail they could just return to society. Other villains made fake identities and at my school they never turned people to the police. 'Villain code' is what they call it. You help other villains when they need it but you never ever call the cops on them.

The day seemed to last forever, but after villain training I could finally go home. I almost ran out of class, not wanting to spend another second with these people. My brother finished early today and went away to hang out with some of his friends, so I was on my own. It wasn't like I missed much though, no offence to him.

I frowned when I noticed a big sign set on the usual path I took to my home. It said that work was being done on the road, which meant I had to take a different road, a longer one sadly. I sighed quietly and then continued walking again. Before I could think my feet stopped on their own, making me almost fall in surprise. I looked up and gasped when I noticed it.

UA high.

The school I had admired since I was a small child, because that was the school where heroes were made. If you wanted to become a hero, you knew you just had to attend UA.

My eyes became wide when I noticed huge banners hanging. Today, and only today, they would let potential new students in and take a look in the building, like classrooms etc so they could see what to expect. I tilted my head in slight confusion. Why was this done though? UA wasn't a very open school at all, barely letting any students in. I wasn't complaining though..

Then a thought struck me. Wouldn't it be strange if I came home late? I usually got home at the same time every day so it would seem odd... But then again, I was usually the first in my family to arrive since my parents' "working hours" varied and my siblings usually hung out in places after school. I'd just go to look at the school and find an excuse later.

My excitement grew with each step I took, realising I was getting closer to the school I could only dream of even seeing. The school was huge and from the start the whole atmosphere was just completely different from what I was used to in my school. It felt like one community, whereas my school was just a mix of small groups who didn't really bother to talk to other people, let alone make other friends. Maybe I could actually make some friends here...if I was even able to attend the school at all. My parents wouldn't ever approve of this in a million years of course.

Okay, I'd just take a look. Nothing more or less. Looking wasn't a bad thing for sure so why was I worried about them not approving of it? I wouldn't attend the school anyway, nope. It was totally fine, I'd be there for a few minutes and then gone before anyone could notice. Yes. I'd do that.

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

[raindrop-on-a-spiderweb]

When God Wasn't Watching

As requested, an AU if Patience had been a young teenager when she started her crusade--and everyone stayed their canoncal age.

***

15-year-old Patience Winslow stepped onto the train platform and into the rest of her life.

She looked around at the towering skyscrapers, mouth agape. She had never seen a building higher than the town hall in Greenhaven, and just looking at the tops of the steel behemoths made her dizzy. Someone stumbled into her and shouted a "Watch it, kid!" As her first introduction to Garland City life.

She stumbled to the side and checked her pocket. The wads of money she had stolen from Uncle Jim, a banker, were still there. They would only last her a couple pf days, but a couple of days was all she needed. Once she accomplished her goal, she did not intend on living on this earth anymore. She would be with her mommy and daddy. She would have avenged them, and they would be so proud of her, and the would be together forever, away from the cold house and the cold stares of her aunt and uncle and the cold laughs from her classmates and the cold, cold nights she cried herself to sleep. She would be warm again. She would be loved. 

Patience set out onto the cobblestone streets, money safely wadded in her pocket, and looked for a pawnshop.

***

The handle of the gun was cold in her hand. She practiced flicking off the safety and firing it behind a junkyard until the security guard told her to leave. 

She spent a chunk of her money at a hotel and consulted her meager newspaper records. One thing she was sure of was that Leonardo legally owned a nightcub called the Harp. She had seen its opening in a blurb in the paper. Her plan was simple. Fatal, but simple. But even the prospect of it made her sick to her stomach. Several times she wanted to back out, buy a ticket back to Greenhaven. But go where? Back to her aunt and uncle, who despised her? Back to loneliness and isolation and the yawning, indifferent chasm of her life?

She had made her bed and she was going to lie in it.

***

Little Italy scared her. The chaotic movement, the clamor of different languages, the bellows of the street vendors--they all unnerved her. She blended in well--with her schoolgirl uniform and hair in twin braids, she passed well as any of the littay of other girls coming back from Catholic School, lingering at Ice Cream parlors to meet their friends. Except Patience's intentions were much more sinister.

A butcher tossed a bucket full of slop and entrails into the sewer, and some splattered on her mary janes. She wrinkled her nose and jumped onto the sidewalk.

She took turn after turn, even as the day turned into evening and as the population of the street turned more and more into shady adults instead of the clash of old and young. She was starting to believe she had become lost when the spangled neon lights of the Harp came into view.

It was a popular nightclub, with burlesques every night and a bar reputed to be the best in Garland City--according to the review she had read in the paper. She knew they wouldn't let her in the front door, so she slipped down the alley. A dumpster full of stained napkins, broken glass, and vile pieces of discarded reeking trash from the backstage of the burlesque lay against the back of the nightclub. She tried the heavy metal door leading into the back of the club. No luck. 

The girl retraced her steps, feeling her way along the building. She tried the edges of the windows, shoving upward with the heels of her hands, and finally, one slid open a crack.

Patience pulled it up and scrambled  Through the window. She was a small girl even for her age and had to pull herself up before she tumbled over the window sill. She collapsed on the ground in a heap, breathing heavily. She appeared to be in some sort of storage room, with cases of whisky stacked against the wall, as well as other alcohols she could not name.

She tried the door and it slid open. The hallway was quiet they appeared to be well stocked for the night. Keeping to the shadows, she crept down the hallway.

The lights and laughter echoed from one end. She wondered where he would be--as a big-shot nightclub owner, would he be living it up on the floor or doing whatever nightclub owners did in the office? She took a chance and slunk down the hallway, away from the racket and nearer to the back of the club.

A janitor clomped by, nearly missing her, and she flattened herself against the wall. The metal of the gun was cold against her breast, the handle knocking against her ribcage every time she moved. Her sweat was so slick she was worried that it would slide down her shirt and clatter on the floor.

She peeked down another passage--this one was lined with chattering women and  half-open doors leading to what looked like dressing rooms, so she went down the opposite one. It was empty except for a single room at the back of the hall, with light peeking out from the bottom of it. She reached into her blouse and gripped her gun, and moved forward.

***

Patience stood there, unwilling or unsure what to do, then heard a voice. That smooth, distant purr made every hair on her body raise, then sent her mind into such a fury she burst through the door and aimed her gun.

A man was standing with his back to the door, a receiver held against his curly blond head. As he turned around his eyes sparked with a distant surprise but then went back to the sea blue impassiveness that she had seen only once before but remembered as clear as day. He slowly put the receiver down.

"And you are?" He said politely.

The barrel was trembling in her grip. "I--I'm--" Her brain was failing her. "I'm--don't you know who I am? You killed my parents!"

"Child," he said quietly. Then, "Sweetheart. You must have made a mistake."

Her head was pulsing. Her adrenaline was rushing. "I haven't. I know who you are. I saw you. I saw you pull the trigger--"

His eyes were dark, gentle and sympathetic. "Listen. Little one. I have never murdered anyone in my life. I own this nightclub. I inherited it from my father. Whatever you went through--sweetheart, I'm so sorry, it has nothing to do with me. Please put the gun down." He held out his hand, the light glinting off his gold rings.

Her eyes were filling up with tears. She wanted to pull the trigger. She wanted to so bad. But his voice was so gentle. So honest.

Her brain sparked a distant apprehension, just the faintest shadow, and her barrel lowered a notch.

***

Before she knew it, she was facedown on the sofa, face pressed against the red velvet. There was a crushing weight on top of her, and her arms were pinned behind her back by a hand.

She was abruptly flipped over to face a cool, composed visage, eyes cold as chips of ice. With one hand he pinned her arms down, with the other he held her revolver, barrel aimed right between her eyes. "Tell me who sent you." His voice as cold and detached as if he were reporting the weather through a radio. "The di Scarpettas? Was it Cardinale?"

Patience blinked. The reality of her situation had yet to catch up to her. "No one. I did. I'm here to murder you. You murdered my parents!" She began to struggle, but his crushing grip stilled her.

"Child, didn't your parents ever tell you not to lie?" He cocked the barrel.

"No!" She snarled back, the terror creeping down her spine and yet the fury eclipsing that. She yanked her arms. "Let go! I'll kill you! I'll kill--"

He was staring down at her, looking contemplative. Something about her seemed to convince him. His eyes were opaque, red mouth an impassive line.

"Beautiful," he said softly. 

She blinked as he ran a finger down the tear tracks on her cheeks, and hovered around the edge of her pale, angry green eyes, trying desperately not to give out to fear. He ran his fingernail around her eyes, rubbing the tears off and staring intently, perversely into her pupils.

"You would have been her age," he said.

He shifted on top of her, and suddenly his crushing weight was on her chest, and she smelled something flowery, like her aunt's perfume cabinet. Patience's whole body was trembling against his, her anger finally giving way to fear, and when he spoke his next words, a thrill of pure terror shot through her body.

"My father preferred younger girls," he whispered in her ear. "Said he liked how they wiggled and screamed. Said it made them tighter."

His lukewarm breath against her ear, the wet lave of his tongue on her skin, and his finger beneath the skirt of her pinafore made vomit heave in her throat, and she began to struggle, began to wail, fighting with all her might please if I can just get out I'll run I'll jump through the window of the storage room I'll leave Garland City I'll never come back--

She felt a smile curl against the nape of her neck. "Don't be scared, dolcezza. I'll be gentle."

***

The room was a haze of black and red, the  the black lacquer of the floor, the black glint of the typewriter, the red softness of the sofa, and the burning, wet, stinging red of--

She looked down between her legs. Blood had began to seep through the dark green threads of her skirt. The place between her legs was a mass of red and pain, cut open by a knife--or whatever he has used, but it felt like a knife, a knife of flesh and veins that left her insides throbbing and smeared.

He was talking to another man in soft Italian. The other man was tall and rough-looking with a five o'clock shadow and thick brown hair, wearing a trenchcoat. He kept glancing over to her worriedly. "Leonardo, è solo una ragazza."

"Non è successo niente, Giuseppe," was Borghese's smooth reply. 

The door slammed open. "What's going on? I heard the commotion. Are you all right, Leo?" barked another man, shorter, with black hair and wire-rimmed glasses. His gaze slid over her, and the cold, hostile look he shot her made her spine stiffe.

Every cell of her body was screaming at her, the pain and fear and agony all coming together in a sort of disbelief. All she could do was stare blankly at the widening pool of blood between her thighs that betrayed her torn insides.

They were speaking louder, still in Italian, and she only startes when Leonardo put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Patience," she said automatically. "Winslow."

"What's a beautiful little girl like you doing out here? Surely we can call someone to come and get you?"

Patience looked at his kind face blankly. She thought of her aunt and uncle. She shook her head.

"Oh, dear," he said, but his smile was widening. "Poor thing. Dolce ragazzina."

More words. She wasn't sure what the men were saying now, whether they were speaking English or Italian. Her mind was as blank as a pane of glass. She was retreating into a space only she knew, a space where she didn't have to feel or think, a space where she didn't have to hurt, just feel comfortably numb.

A hand gently gripping her arm led her out of the room and down the hallway. If she had been in a more conscious state of mind she would have noticed that the door to the store room was open and she could have made a break for it. But instead she let herself be led to a limo, the back door opening into smooth leather seats. 

The seats felt good against her legs but when she sat down, she erupted in pain again. Her insides throbbed. The bloodstain was the size of a silver dollar now.

Borghese slid down next to her, the man with the glasses next to him. He slammed the door. The man driving was the man in the trench coat. She sensed a tenseness from him that didn't let up, even after he gunned the engine and set off down the street.

The other man was still eying her coldly. It didn't make sense. She was hurt, couldn't he see that? Why was he still staring at her with his resentful, mistrustful black eyes? Why--

Borghese had leaned down to her. She was pressed against the driver's door, hunched over, and his entire body brushed hers as he leaned down.

"Have you had your monthlies yet?" He asked quietly, so quietly that she wasn't sure anyone else could hear. They certainly acted as if they didn't.

She nodded once. Her period had come for the first time last year, in the school showers, to the mockery and derision of the other girls.

"We're going to have to pay very, very close attention to your monthlies over the next few weeks."

She stared at him in a childish sort of confusion. His profile was elegant, handsome, like the movie stars in the theater posters she had crushed on. High cheekbones, blue eyes and a voice like cream.

"If you miss one of your monthlies, do you know what will happen? Do you know what will happen to your body? You'll grow a baby, right here." He pressed a finger just above her skirt, on her midriff.

The thought of having a baby was so alien to her it suddenly awaked a sort of consciousness. She started into reality. She looked into his eyes.

His voice was no longer like cream. It was like spoiled milk. "I'm going to teach you a lot about the human body over these few days. Especially about the reproductive system. We'll learn a lot together, oh we will, and I'll be honored to be your teacher."

The car idled at a stoplight, and her fingers scrabbled for the door handle. She caught it and fell backwards, skidding onto the concrete, scrambling up, legs bleeding, and running.

She dodged car after car, sometimes being missed by an inch. The beeps and curses echoed behind her as she stumbled onto the sidewalk.

Her legs were scraped, her breaths coming in high, winded gasps as she went out in a full-put sprint down the street. There were signs hung in an unfamiliar language, shady men in broad-brimmed hats and suspenders lining the street. Immodestly dressed women flitted between them, garish makeup caking their face. The crossroads were a confusing jungle of storefronts, chairs, shouting men, and potholed streets.

She was so distracted, so panicked, she crashed into someone and sprawled on the ground. The heels of her hands scraped the sidewalk where she wrenched them out to break her fall.

A drunken, red-rimmed gaze stared down at her. "Hey, kid. What's the matter?"

Patience tried to struggle up, lost her balance by the jolt of pain between her legs, and collapsed again. She didn't know where she was. She didn't know who these people were. She was suddenly, completely alone, and even as the man dragged her upright, she heard that silky voice that had come to signal her doom. "There you are, sweetheart. Don't wander away again, now."

Patience caught her feet and stumbled away. "Don't come near me!" She screamed, grabbing the attention of everyone on the street. She wrapped her arms around the man's waist. "Don't let him take me," she sobbed. His waist was lean yet muscular under her arms, and reminded her of her father. That thought made her cling closer.

The drunk man beside her was dark-haired, in a sleeveless shirt more suited to a laborer than the shabby suits most men on the street wore. His face was angular and pitted with scars that resembled the ones of her classmate Joey White, who'd had smalllpox as a child and had been the merciless victim of teasing for it. "Back off, Leo Angelino. I don't think this kid wants anything to do with you."

Borghese was standing in the sidewalk, flanked by his two men. In his neatly tucked suit and tie, he looked more professional than everyone on the street combined. "Salvatore, the child stole something from me. This is none of your business. Let me deal with her and I will let her go."

If Salvatore was just being contentious, it changed as he looked down at her. She wasn't sure whether his gaze had found the spot of blood on her skirt, or whether her generally ruffled appearance roused something in him.

"This ain't your fuckin street. Get out of here before I make you get out." People were moving to arm him at each side, people from his group of friends and from across the street.  This was not Leonardo Borghese's territory, and by his body language, he knew it. His face was a mask as he stepped back. "Well. Have a lovely night out, Sal."

As they retreated, Salvatore's body was stiff as he saw them off, a venomous look on his face. When the crowd dispersed, he looked down at Patience, and his face softened. "Hey, kid. Are you all right? What did he--"

He wasn't able to finish his sentence as Patience had flung herself away from him and began running again, desperate to get as far away as possible from this hellish place and these hellish people, from everything--ignoring the indignant yelling, the confused looks after her.

Patience collapsed in a tenement neighborhood somewhere, too exhausted to continue. She felt her pocket and realized that her money was gone--it had to have fallen out during the chase. She had nothing now, no home, no gun, no money. 

Nothing but a burning, aching pain between her legs that wouldn't go away.

[vogel-lynne]

"Maryanne"

"I'm sorry to inform you" said the janitor at the door: "but your chemistry teacher today is absent and you'll have to stay here for the next hour!"

Every student in the classroom applauded cheerfully, but Johnny had no reason to celebrate; he didn't despise chemistry for a TV series he was watching with Liam made the subject more interesting. It was about a professor starting a meth business after finding out to be terminally ill or something like that.

"You can do whatever you want. Just don't disturb each other or talk too loudly. Understood?"

Boys and girls formed then small groups. Some were studying and doing homework for the next days, other were talking trash about whatever came to their minds. Johnny and James remained at their desk and the young Scot checked on his diary what he had to do, but everything was ticked as already done. He wasn't a huge nerd like his German friend Ralf, but he HAD TO plan ahead so as to do everything scheduled in his weekly routine. Plus, his mother Maryanne was a huge motivation: she used to be a brilliant student, but couldn't fulfil her academic dreams. As her son he wanted her to be proud of him, no matter where she was staying.

James underlined accurately whatever he had already done and decided to work on his journal. His hands tracked down diagrams and graphics that showed just his grade of satisfaction halfway the month and his personal achievements. Later he wrote down a list of albums to listen to and films to watch beside which he drew a miniature of the cover art.

Feeling inspired, Johnny grabbed his wallet and searched for the photo of Maryanne he conserved inside it, where she was smiling and wore a long purple dress that made her look wonderful in her simplicity and polite manners.

The he opened his diary on April, the 26th. On November 6th, Liam's birthday, he had already added a Polaroid photo of them holding hands whereas for the majestics birthdays and also for his friends' ones he intended to do the same. On Harvey's birthday, November 25th he had written a long thankful letter he intended to share on instagram. But for Maryanne he desired to do something unique and special.

"Draw a circle and add the lines for the face..."

He recalled Olivier's soft yet irritating voice trying to give him instructions that time he went to Paris. His French friend acted as if anything easy for him had to be easy also for whoever surrounded him.

"And then let's start with the eyes. Think of an almond..."

Liam's eyes were almonds, but neither his ones nor Maryanne's had that shape, sharing instead a softer and rounder one.

And one eye was done!

The other one became a challenge for Johnny's patience. For one moment it seemed that he was portraying Thom Yorke from Radiohead instead of a woman in her late teens.

"What's up?"

James's voice interrupted his fight against the paper. Luckily Liam was equally bad at drawing, as he replied to a fan that suggested him to become also a tattoo artist. Johnny covered the page, afraid to be laughed at like in his old school, but his friend didn't think twice to erase the bad eye and fix the asymmetric jaw line: "I'll adjust this..."

He pronounced these words without any conceit or desire to get something in exchange. He even added some floral details to Maryanne's outfit and a pair of soft wings.

"What can I do for you?" Asked a grateful Johnny, thinking about any gift or flamingos-themed object. The majestics friendship initially had the rule of returning even the most insignificant favours. For example Giancarlo wanted to take his two girlfriends in Paris after letting Olivier stay at his house for a couple of nights when the Japanese boys came.

"Don't worry! There's so much you have done since you came here!" Said his friend: "I made this because I wanted to! I hope also your father will appreciate it!"

"I'm sure he will do!"