#She remembers all(most? whatever) of it though

[woso-dreamzzz]

Injured (Alba's Version) IV

Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader

Summary: The aftermath

*TW: parental neglect, aftermath of suicide*

It takes Alexia nearly a week until she realises you're missing.

You're self-sufficient and independent. You've never needed much and it's not weird for Alexia to not see you for days on end.

You come home from whatever you spend your days doing and go straight to your room.

You make your own meals, she's pretty sure because she never has to make extra. Just enough for a family of three. Two when Olga is away from work.

It's a fleeting thing really, the only way that she realises you've disappeared.

She knocks on your door, intent on finally having that conversation about what you're planning on doing with your future.

There's no answer.

"Now's not the time to sulk, y/n," She calls through the door," If you don't come out then I'm coming in!"

Still silence.

"One! Two!"

Alexia doesn't wait for three, shoving open the door.

She expects to see you on your bed, sulking or whatever it is you do when she's not around.

You're not there though.

Your bed is made. Your clothes are packed away.

There's nothing out of place. Nothing to prove that this room was even really yours apart from a few neat stacks of paper on your desk.

Alexa glances over them, frowning as if they'd give her the answer to where you've gone.

She's been home since last night, the first one up and awake in the house. There's no way you could have snuck past her.

"Jaume!" She yells out," Where's your sister?"

"I don't know! Out with friends or something?"

That's odd.

Alexia can't remember the last time you mentioned a friend to her. To be honest, Alexia can't remember the last time the two of you actually had a conversation.

She shuffles through the papers on your desk.

Yes, she thinks, you must be with friends because there's three tickets to a ballet performance on Saturday.

You must be wanting to take them with you.

It's only when Alexia sits up that night, waiting for you to come home, that she gets the sinking feeling you're not coming back.

She waits for hours until the early hours of the next morning and the sun begins to rise before panic lances through her chest.

You've not come home.

She checks her phone, wondering if she missed a text saying you would stay at a friend's house but there's nothing.

She checks your room, just to see if you've climbed in through the windows but they're locked.

You are nowhere.

She pulls Jaume out of school for the day. She calls Olga to come home from Madrid.

She scours all of the places she thinks you hang out but you're nowhere to be seen.

It's almost like you've never existed in the first place.

The call comes in the evening.

It's Alba.

"I can't talk right now," Alexia says after two missed calls," I'm-"

"I'm sorry," Alba says instead.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." Alba chokes her words out like they're so physically painful she can barely say them. Like she's so numb that even talking is difficult. "I tried but..."

"Alba? What's happened? Listen, I really can't talk right now. I'm-"

"I really did try. They did too but it was already too late."

"Alba, what is going on?"

"We should go to the hospital," Alba says," I'll send you which one."

In the deepest pit of her chest, Alexia already knows what has happened. In some deep, dark part of her, she's known since Alba called. In the worst, most hidden piece of herself, Alexia has known since the beginning.

It's an awful thing for an aunt to see.

It's a terrible thing for a brother to see.

It's even worse for a mother to see.

A picture goes up at the ballet company.

(Alexia didn't even know you joined one).

It's of you smiling, the headhsot that they used on the website, displayed proudly in the main foyer.

'Rest In Peace' sits under it and a little plaque with your name and how long you lived. It states your interests with no hint about trains at all. It talks about your reserved disposition but mentions how you endeared yourself to everyone.

Flowers sit under it, bouquets upon bouquets from the dancers and the staff and audience members who have seen you perform.

(Alexia has never been to a performance once).

Support pours in from people Alexia hasn't spoken to in years. Old coaches. Old teammates. Old friends.

Everyone seems to have a fond memory of you but all Alexia can think about is the last words she said to you.

She can't remember them.

She can't remember what she said or how she felt or what she was doing.

There is a gap in her memory from that moment.

Everyone talks about you so fondly, with such clarity that Alexia can't replicate.

You have gone on a wisp of breeze and Alexia is left trying to catch the impossible.

Her mind circles around herself, trying to work out where this all went wrong.

She loved you. She loved you so much.

Her beautiful baby girl who was a little nervous and a little quiet but beautiful all the same.

The little girl who loved trains and ballet and doing all the super feminine stuff that Alexia had to learn when she was a bit older.

The people around her tell stories of you, like Ingrid talking about how you used to love having her braid your hair back but Alexia sits there numb.

She's been numb since she saw your body in the hospital morgue.

She's been numb since the funeral where you lay in your coffin, perfectly peaceful like you were taking a long sleep.

She's been numb since they all returned to Eli's house for food and drink to celebrate your life.

Alba is not talking to her, has not talked to her outside what is needed since she called.

Alexia hasn't even noticed, too preoccupied with the realisation that she's a mother that just had to bury her daughter.

It was not a disease that took you. It was not a heart attack. It was not a random attack on the street.

It was you.

You made this decision, decided that this world was not worth living in anymore. That you could no longer cope with everything happening around you.

Things that Alexia has no knowledge on and, now, will never have any knowledge on.

You thought that this path was better than returning home.

You thought that everything would be better, more peaceful if you took your life away.

People have been cautious around Alexia, seeing just how close she is to tears.

She didn't cry during the funeral when you were lowered down into the ground with nothing but a neat blouse and a skirt.

Nothing to take with you now that you're gone.

Olga had to pack your things away in your room because Alexia could not force herself to even step through the doorway.

Your things are gone.

You are gone.

And Alexia will never know why.

[gor3sigil]

What being trans means to me

I love being trans. I love transitioning. The thing is, most of the time, I read about other trans people experiences. And I just can’t relate.

I have plenty of tattoos and piercings, and if I have to be 100% honest with y’all, I see transitioning like a bodmod. To me, getting top surgery was one, as I wanted to at least get my nipples removed before I even knew top surgery was an option.

I see HRT as much as a bodmod. A few years back, I wasn’t so sure I even wanted HRT, but after thinking it through and doing a lot of research, I decided to do it. And I never looked back. I’m close to 2 years on T, which isn’t a lot, and I don’t even know if I plan to stay on T for very long, maybe I’ll stop at some point. Who knows.

It goes hand in hand with the everlasting identity crisis I’ve been having since I was born, basically. I was a different person before, and she was so tired, so she left the body to some dude, and he got tired, and they fused, and it was me, and I’m in a trans body, I’m trans, I take T like I paint my nails, I take T like a cigarette, I take T like a hot bath. It’s comforting, it makes me feel good, it makes me feel at home in this body.

I got surgery because I wanted my silhouette to be mine. I changed my name because since I was little, and that’s the only point for which I can say confidently I knew since I was a kid, I never understood why we couldn’t name ourselves. To me, a name was so intimate, so personal, that I couldn’t understand why it had to be someone else’s choice. So I took a new one and changed it.

And now I look at myself in the miror and I’m Cyan, and I got a flat chest, and I have a deep voice, and I’ll do my T shot on friday just like I do every 14 days since almost 2 years, with the same pleasure, with the same smile on my face, the same rush I ever have when I’m excited for my shot.

Close to the feeling I get when I get a new piercing, when I up the size of my lobes, when I feel the first tingles of the needles that tattoo me.

I didn’t “always knew” I was trans. I remember being a kid with a shit ton of OCs, and names for myself that I couldn’t choose, and whose dream was to live a thousand lives before I died. I don’t know who I will be in 3 years. Or in 6 months.

It says on a letter that I suffer from gender dysphoria, and by all means it was true before top surgery. Not so much now. I still am insecure about my body a lot of times because there’s some things missing to my chara design and I am fatter IRL lmao, but with this body I cum, I eat good food, I get drunk, I smoke, I feel hot and fresh water, I swim, I sing, I write this. Even when it’s half broken and it’s raining and my joints ache and I feel like I’m already old, I love this body. I’m not the type of people who will be like “your body is a temple, you HAVE to exercise and eat only fresh veggies” because if I have to be here let me at least have fun. I take care of myself though, maybe not as much as I should, but the best I can.

If I hadn’t overcome everything I did in my life, maybe I wouldn’t have transitioned. Or maybe I would. I don’t care. I don’t need a reason, and neither do you.

This is what I mean when I say that everyone should do whatever the fuck they want because, I wasn’t born trans, or at least I don’t think so. But does it make my transition less valid ? No. I’m better in my skin that ever, even when the low self esteem hits, and I know I would feel way less good if I hadn’t transition. That’s all that matters.

[l-in-the-light]

The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read: edition Zou (part 11)

Let's continue the "love is a hurricane" tale after the small break :D This time we finish up Zou and get ready for hard decisions to be made and undesired seperation approaching!

A reminder that in Punk Hazard Luffy immediately picked up on Joker and inquired Law to know more, because he realized Law is somehow connected to that person. Picture below for comparison's sake:

But on Zou Lufy learns Sanji is connected to Germa and he doesn't care nor does he want to know anything more. Even Nami is slightly taken aback (though it's Luffy's usual behaviour here!), but that's also because she realized for the first time that Sanji was lying all this time to them and she doesn't know what to think about it.

Law is getting special treatment, basically became Luffy's special interest, and he has no idea about it!

Again, Luffy intends to go alone and do his best not to declare the war on Big Mom in the process. That's because he has his alliance with Law and they can't afford an extra side conflict on the way. Now, would Luffy care about any of that, if it wasn't Law he was having an alliance with? My bet's still on "no".

Still remembering Neko Mamushi's name and that's because he knows seeing Neko Mamushi means he will see Heart Pirates and Law if he sticks around, heh.

Now let's look at things from Law's perspective, even if just for the laughs, shall we? He went to see his Heart Pirates, spent some time with them, then relayed a message to Luffy through Pedro that they're waiting for Strawhats to join them (because remember? Heart Pirates can't leave the whale forest!). Law then learns that either 1. Luffy never joins them 2. Pedro tells him Luffy said "later".

So the result is that Law arrives here seeking Luffy (just like Luffy wanted him to, btw), but I wonder what he might be thinking... "how dare you, Mugiwara-ya, I told you to come and you have more important matters?!" or perhaps "Are they in some kind of trouble? Mugiwara-ya is always in trouble, so it's not unlikely, maybe I should go and check things out". Personally, my bet is on a mix of both, seeing his rather unhappy face above when he looks at Strawhats doing some shanenigans with Nekomamushi haha.

And this is the scene that welcomes Law as he finds Luffy and his crew. He's clearly confused by whatever is happening in front of him. And then Luffy notices him like *immediately* and greets him with huge enthusiasm. Because of course he would, he was trying to be so brave and not miss him every second they're apart, and yet that immediate reaction proves us that Law was constantly on his mind anyway and his eyes were always looking around to spot him the very moment he will arrive. Which is exactly what happened.

Now let's take a look at Law curiously holding his sword in both hands, because there's a story there, shown to us only through visual language. His sword was resting on his arm, but for some reason he grabs it after he witnessed all the chaos. Just a moment later it will return back to his shoulder again. Why?

Just take a look at this:

Remember how he did the same thing much, much earlier in same arc? He grabbed his sword when he sensed danger or a stranger approaching them (just like Zoro). This is how he prepares to unshield his Kikoku so he can be ready to attack, if neccessary, but he unshields his sword only when he feels malignant intent. A good swordsman is always on alert, after all!

And he does the exactly same thing when he looks at the commotion around Luffy and Nekomamushi (but he's a bit more cautious here). He sees the ruckus and his first instinct isn't to question Luffy or scold him for causing trouble. Nah, none of that. His very first reaction is to take his weapon and prepare to fight, because if Luffy is in danger, it's his duty to help! Ain't that freaking sweet? :D and all of that shown without any words needed, heh.

"I came to give you an introduction", he says while his eyes aren't even visible, so we know he's telling us bullshit :D (also notice, the sword is back on his shoulder, because Luffy's cheerful greeting put his mind at ease that he doesn't have to attack anyone and that everything is alright!)

Heart Pirates look like they lowkey rehearsed that introduction pose. They remind me of heroes from some Power Rangers show. I wonder if that's how wacky Sora Warrior of the Sea comic is :D because we can expect that if Law is a fan, all of his North Blue crew is as well. They look so goofy and cheerful in comparison to his stoic, cool and broody energy.

Luffy's like "yo!!", because he actually met them already, this is his second time when he sees them and had some interaction with them at Zou, so it's not like he woud need introduction, lol (sneaky Luffy is a mood, I swear). But why would Luffy care if he got a proper introduction or not anyway? After all he didn't do one for Law either! In fact I don't think Luffy ever did any introductions before.

And it's true ever since the beginning of the manga. Nami didn't get introduced to Zoro, Zoro didn't get introduced to Nami (he had to ask her himself who she is!). The best they can get is "this is going to be our crewmate/navigator", no names included. Lol. That also explains why Zoro is so used to Luffy's crap and in Punk Hazard he just stays around Law and doesn't question it, until the guy goes towards Sunny, lol. Just see it for yourself below:

And all of this happened despite Law asking Luffy to "let the rest of his crew know". Usually Luffy not making any introductions slips our minds, because whenever new crewmate appears they're all together so it's not even an issue. But sometimes, we get reminded Luffy didn't really learn manners and this is one of those examples. Law remembers the offense though.

Especially after Luffy told him he would do that. But he never did. LOL.

Just look at those frames right next to each other. Luffy tells them to "get along" (nakayoku), and Law, after refusing to introduce his Hearts crew to Luffy, says the same line but with negation "You don't have to get along". That's his revenge, right there. Luffy didn't introduce his crew to him, so Law is not gonna introduce his Hearts to him either. Ba dum tss.

Luffy is completely unaffected by it, because it's Luffy. The ones who are actually affected are Hearts and they boo their captain for it. They call him out for his bullshit behaviour, which makes me think that 1. they're allowed to complain whenever they feel like (around timeskip they also complained to Law that they want to go already to the New World). 2. Law usually DOES give introductions, because they're completely dumbfounded by this situation.

You all still need more proof this was Law's revenge? :D And if you believe this now, I need to remind you that my deduction about Law's nicknames for Strawhats all the way back in part 4 of this analysis series is probably true as well: he did not recognize Franky, Usopp and Brook, because the last time he checked on Strawhats was around Sabaody and when they returned after timeskip he was already stuck in Punk Hazard, not able to read the newest info on them.

Now let's take a look at this scene, in which Law scolds Luffy for "letting" Sanji go with Big Mom. On the surface level, nothing unusual, right? After all it's just yet another scene in which Law is worried and scolding Luffy. Except that Law never did that before when it comes to Luffy's own crew. Law knows this is an alliance, Luffy is the captain of his crew, he's the one responsible for them, not Law. In Punk Hazard Law made sure to always leave things up to Luffy when it concerned his crew, always doing the "relay the message to your crew" attempt and never telling them anything directly.

But here, in Zou, Law is openly scolding Luffy *in front of his own crew* about the situation with Sanji, a Strawhat. Honestly, it seems like he's stepping here completely out of line. It's almost like Law is part of Strawhats and has the right to be angry at the situation, not just voice his concern as an ally. This is the moment that Law starts seriously treating Strawhats like they are his second crew, imo. There's no artificial distance anymore, no "I'm just allied with them, I have to know my place" frame of mind. Whatever concerns Strawhats is clearly Law's problem as well now. It kinda started already in Dressrosa, when Law told half of the crew to just sail off to Zou, but then the situation was different, they were in danger, it could be seen as emergency situation. Zou though? No excuses here, Mr Trafalgar Law. Are you sure this is just an alliance to you?

Law finally voices his real thoughts here, because he doesn't want Zou to suffer even more than it did already (it is homeland of his friend Bepo after all). And he's throwing back the same argument Luffy threw at him in Dressrosa! Luffy looks like he's actually at a loss here and no wonder, because what can they do? Let's look at things from Luffy's perspective. His crewmate is stuck with Big Mom, they have to go to Kaido but can't yet, and they also can't stay here at Zou because they're putting minks at risk. Their options are very limited and situation is very complicated, Law made sure Luffy understands it. But their talk is interrupted by the minks so we will never know in which direction Law actually wanted to take it (we can tell from Luffy's face that Luffy is not gonna offer any actual feedback here). Or do we have a hunch about that actually?

Let's look at the title of the chapter, with Vivi on the cover (we all know she actually wanted to tell Luffy to "take her with him", but she had responsibilities to the country she also deeply loved, so she's also relevant for this chapter's title!), Luffy asks Pekoms to take him with him... and curiously enough Law shouts at Luffy, making the exactly same face expression. Maybe that's the direction he actually wanted the talk to go? It would fit his personality ngl, that he wouldn't want to leave Luffy to go alone to another Emperor's territory, without any decent plan. Especially because we know how much he worries for him all the time.

Feasting, Strawhats and Hearts bonding happily together. Even Pandaman joined in! Not Law though lol.

Ninja time :D Strawhats really push the agenda that there's no shame in loving ninjas and other cool stuff. They have so many requests too! That must have influenced Law that it's alright to voice his own request as well (but he waits with it, hoping maybe someone else can voice it first, so he doesn't have to, haha). He's murmuring it and it fits him so well, because he's not one to admit too openly how much he wants to actually see it, which makes this scene all the more special. Strawhats, and especially Luffy, really have a good influence on him. Even Zoro joins in, right after Law, probably to show support like a good bro he is.

And Raizou starts his show from Law's request! What a great guy Raizou is <3 Law's impressed face is so funny, especially in comparison to Luffy's and Usopp's, haha.

Law is so surprised at being asked for the help as well. His eyes are like "what? why me as well?". As much as Law likes to be appreciated and recognized as the captain of his own crew, he also doesn't really expect the extra attention he sometimes is getting. Unlike Luffy who is more or less used to it already.

Luffy, surprisingly enough, proposes Momo an alliance. They're not beating up Kaido instead of samurai, they're cooperating together. What's important here to note is that Luffy did that because Momo was begging him, like he's inferior to Luffy, almost like a servant. Luffy stops him, wants him to raise his head and instead join hands. He even makes sure to talk to Momo on the same eye level when he proposes the alliance, because people in alliance are equal. But where did Luffy learn that from?

Perhaps Law, who is always trying to speak to Luffy on same eye level, especially (but not only) when it's about important stuff. There's at least one scene like that in every arc. In Punk Hazard when they're captured Luffy is half-lying on the floor in a stupid position. Law is lying in exactly same way instead of trying to present himself to look cool, like he usually does. Why? Because if he sat up he wouldn't be on same eye level as Luffy. In Dressrosa, Luffy even tries to speak to Law who is lying down on Moocy on same eye level as well, by leaning down as much as he can (which is sweet of him, but not exactly working out in these circumenstances <3). On Zou Law comes closer and talks about stuff with Luffy on the stairs, because it's the easiest way to casually stand on eye level if he just stays one step below. And in Wano, Law also remembers about eye level. He even leans down to speak to Luffy. It doesn't matter that they're quarreling, eye level is a sacred rule, no disrespectfully placing yourself above your Luffy ally is ever allowed!

That's why when Luffy says this, I think Law kinda expects him to finish with different word. "Don't ever bow your heads, don't get down on the ground, because an alliance means we're equal!" is what Law would want to hear, seeing how he acts around Luffy. But he gets a "means we're friends" instead which throws him off so much he can't be quiet about it. Still, he doesn't scold Luffy for this and accepts that if it means friendship then it's friendship, and he does become friends with Kinemon as the result. Even if Luffy got it wrong, Law is gonna follow through with it. After all, he chose this fate for himself when he first proposed Luffy an alliance. If Luffy thinks it's about friendship, so be it friendship. In Law's novel we can see that Law doesn't really have a problem making friends, especially with people he saved before.

But did Luffy actually get it wrong? I feel like he played Law a little here, because Luffy clearly understands what equality is. He pushed Law's boundaries a little bit further to open him up to people. Alliances are nice, but friendships are nicer. And Luffy wants Law to make some new friends instead of keeping himself always at a distance. But since this is Luffy we're talking about, it might also be as simple as him thinking friendship means equality, and actually: he's not wrong about that part, definitely.

And I love how Law grumpily asks Luffy why the latter didn't ask about his own opinion. Luffy is like "But I knew already that you would say yes. Am I wrong about that?", and of course he's not, but he should have still asked anyway instead of deciding for both of them, even if he knows Law well enough already to assume his stance on all of this. It's not just about having faith in another person's beliefs, but it's also important to make sure they're on the same page already. What if Law had some important doubts to voice before agreeing? Luffy couldn't have guessed that.

It's actually like that all the time in their alliance. Law only protests or complains when he wants Luffy to notice some stuff, even if it seems REALLY nitpicky overall. He never does that when things get done (no matter in which way as long as the end goal is met), or when he already agreed to stuff (even if he doesn't like the consequences it led to). There's really just two scenarios in which he minds: it's when Luffy misses the mark about something important or when Law is worried like hell.

Do you think he acts angry here because Luffy already knows perfectly well what Law's own answer will be? Or is he annoyed by Luffy's confidence in Law's answer without even having to ask him first? Or maybe salty that he can't deny? I wonder if he realizes how much Luffy is actually paying attention to him.

And a new friendship alliance is completed :D Law even joins in for "hand bumping" part, because Luffy earlier declared "joining hands" is an important part of making an alliance. They never joined hands in Punk Hazard, but here Law actually listens to Luffy and follows through (despite his own touch-related trauma!).

After they leave the whale, Law seems to be deep in thought. Maybe he's returning back to the talk they had about Sanji's situation and deciding which would be the best course of action now for Law himself to take. Should he go with Luffy? Or would it be better to move on to Wano and just have faith that Luffy can push through without him?

Seems he reached his decision. Faith in Luffy, it is.

Look here. Before the whole earth shaking incident happened Law is far away (and out of frame), but the very moment situation gets unpredictable and dangerous, he positions himself close to Luffy, just so he can protect him if needed. He's also the only one capable of keeping his balance, Mr Steady Two Legs No Matter What Is Happening. Of course in this situation, when no one else can even stand anymore, he knows he's needed more than ever in case something even worse could happen.

Law doesn't say anything, but he is there when Luffy's group is leaving. He also clenches his fist, probably trying to stay strong in his resolve and decision (to go to Wano instead of with Luffy), but you can guess already how Trafalgar Law operates: he's most likely worried af under that stoic resting bitch face. Luffy is unusually cheerful on their parting. It's almost like the callback to their reunion at Punk Hazard, when he flashes Law the most beaming smile we ever saw Luffy do. And here it's the same. I bet you anything the reason is the same in both cases: he wants a certain someone to stop worrying over him so much and he does that by smiling the brightest he can, to show that things will be alright.

Because let's face it, samurais won't be worried about Luffy here (why would they? Kinemon truly believes Luffy to be so very strong!), neither would be the Strawhats crew (they believe in their captain and instead tell Luffy not to worry about them!). But Law? He would worry no matter what, it's just the way he is. That smile from Luffy is so bright mostly for Law.

And then Luffy yeets them off the elephant, and I'm sure it does not help Trafalgar Law to feel less worried, haha. Luffy's idea here is to show Law that he's not gonna waste time and will take the shortest possible route, so they can reunite as fast as they can. It's the same mindset he had in Dressrosa: jumping off the cliff to save them time. And indeed Law probably had a flashback to that in this moment, but he does not hold such fond memory of it like Luffy does, lol. He's like "that idiot is doing it again!".

Suffer Law suffer, because you will never stop worrying about this little dumbass you care about so very much!

[chynandri]

I’ve got so much on my mind! Eva/Neil stuff To the moon beach episode spoilers

While I’ve always liked the Eva/Neil ship I have seen it as more one sided, or maybe just UNdecided. Neil I think it got increasingly obvious that he liked her, but it was hard to tell with Eva. I think in this game she definitely showed Interest in him. peeking at his shirtlessness and whatever’s in his pants at the pool lmao. plus wanting to believe the real Neil would want to protect her and do nice gestures. I think my most satisfying personal interpretation is that she’s just isn’t all that sure how she feels about him besides that obviously, this was her best childhood friend. After all I think it’s hard to have feelings for someone who was so distant and secretive at the same time. But there’s definitely still Something there that just… never got the chance to become something more.

I think a feeling of ‘incompleteness’ is prominent after finishing this game. Somehow having some of the truth confirmed/spelled out to you just leaves me with more questions. And perhaps that’s the whole point… the incompleteness of their feelings for each other, the incompleteness of the beach trip, the incompleteness of the simulated beach trip, the incompleteness of Neil himself as a person. I feel like the life lesson here was that you got to be ok with not having all the closure but realize that things have an end in spite of it. And you’ve got to move on once you’re ready to. The game giving you one final chance to linger on a perfect moment of Neil and Eva at their most vulnerable, letting You choose when the story ends was really profound. It’s like Kan Gao was saying to you ‘yeah, you’ve known all along Neil was dying/is dead. And that this series wasn’t going to last forever. You can keep returning to it again and again, but that fact remains and eventually you will stop playing the games and move on.’

I’m not sure if I’m articulating the metaness of this ending well enough, but Eva and the player feel in parallel here. Eva’s relationship with Neil, and the players relationship to this series.

Just wow. What an incredible ending. It almost felt too quick that the biggest theory of Neil being dead all along was confirmed but, it’s not too quick at all considering this story’s been going on for 13 years I guess. Still leaves me in shock even though that’s honestly what the games have been Strongly hinting at.

Will try to remember To the Moon for as long as I can. What an impactful game series…

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

[medicinemane]

Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain

[camelspit]

in honor of one year of stellarlune, is there anything you really like about it? there's a lot of things to hate but for you is there still some good in it?

oh! wow! interesting question!

I don't think it's any secret that I have a very deep hatred for stellarlune lmao but one scene did immediately come to mind when I saw your ask.

in the end scene, fitz mentally checking in with keefe (before he does with sophie) and stealing her dagger to give to keefe? trusting him with that?

and the fact that keefe goes through with trying to stab gisela? ough.

this was big for both of their characters I think. fitz has been here. he's held his brothers life in his hands and hes tried to end it before. he knows the anger that keefe is feeling and agh.

for him to be there? for him to acknowledge those feelings and for him to help keefe? to, despite all the tension in the last few books, give him the dagger.

the keefe/gisela and fitz/alvar parallels were strong here and I think this genuinley may be one of my favorite scenes in the book.

[leafpool-loves-ashfur]

my favorite thing about my Generations ocs is when i start mapping things out and suddenly Poppystar has gone from Bitch-ass Leader who is Mean to the Protagonist for No Reason into Oh My God Give This Woman a Break, Moonpool Christ.

literally all in the span of 3 moons she: has an apprentice, is made deputy, becomes pregnant, goes on a quest to save her dumbass leader while pregnant, leader decides to RETIRE and she becomes leader, GIVES BIRTH, decides "fuck this" and makes her apprentice into a warrior despite him not having finished his apprenticeship

like YEAH no WONDER she's a Bitch(tm), she literally had to train an apprentice WHILE pregnant WHILE being a new leader WHILE the dumbass Main Protagonist pisses StarClan the FUCK off and suddenly its HER problem and she DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS

AND she had a bad mom

[blueish-bird]

sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive

[nosferatufaggot]

If Disney bought Fox and Disney has a part of Doctor Who now........................DR. GRACE HOLLOWAY RETURN WHEN!?!?!?!

[waheedawolf]

.

[cak31ssuperi04]

[munamania]

it’s just i spend so much time sharing little things about myself in the hopes that it sparks a connection with people and also i guess that maybe sometimes people will think of me yk. to feel like i exist outside of my own head. i dont think this is a bad thing it’s just where im at it’s a natural want for connection and it like. works for me. and i also dont think it’s bad to have the friends i do that are like ‘surface level’ yk. i still appreciate them and love them. it’s just, this is where im at, desperately clawing in different spaces in my life to be known even tho it’s embarrassing lol. and it just sucks that i never had to try to with her. not only did we have this extremely insane chemistry right off the bat, she’s someone that in like every way has made it seem like she actively wants to know me. beyond just the polite and whatever kind of level. and it’s like, of course that feels absolutely amazing given ive been pining since day 1 but also i just like her a lot as a person. you know. and it all sucks and makes me wanna combust sometimes that things aren’t the way i’d like them to be between us of course lmfao but i also think she’s an incredible person and she’s managed to make me feel so safe and calm and simultaneously obviously fucking crazy and energized and whatever. u know. whatever my point is here im gonna be done now <3

[explode-this]

Just glimpsed the cover of People magazine (I can read it free with kindle unlimited, sometimes I like to see what entertainment the old folks and straights are into, don’t @ me) and it’s Prince Harry with an inset picture of King Chuck and the headline The Real Reason They’re No Longer Speaking. It really sums up the sincere readership as the kind of folks that write advice column letters asking why their ungrateful adult children (and most of their peers’ adult children) have gone no-contact, as though it’s a trend and something their offspring do to spite them that has absolutely nothing to do with them and their parenting in any way, shape or form.

[48787]

So, as it turns out, my capacity for tyranny is actually fuckin huge and I'm really fucking good at it

I have so many more things to put in my book now

Peace Through Tyranny will be real circa 2048 and it'll still be sued by fucking Hasbro

[casasupernovas]

Remember ages ago when I said Freema did an interview talking about Martha and what she was and wasn't happy with in regards to the story? I found it!

Transcript:

Interviewer: ...Do you still think about her? How do you think about Martha in the year 2019.

Freema: Ah yeah I just did a convention with David [Tennant] recently actually and he said something that um, I hadn't heard before, and he was asked about that relationship between the two chatacters and he said 'I think that the Doctor wasn't fair on her' and I sorta looked at him and I was like...I've never heard your take on that before because I knew at the time you know she was...for me there was definitely a kind of beat that they struck on that stayed maybe a little bit too long. It was the unrequited storyline an I think they stopped exploring her as a fully rounded human being in light of that and Russell [T. Davies] did say you know, it's important to him though that people can sometimes see that...you know love doesn't always have to be reciprocated and it's okay to kind of...most of us probably have that in common that we have unreciprocated...emotions than reciprocated and I was like no that's cool I get that but people also tune in for escapism and for romance and all of the magic and the, you know, the imagination so sometimes to be like grounded back down into hard truth isn't very attractive. *Laughs* So I kind of felt like she got stuck a little bit amd when people ask me if if I would go back it would only be to explore her as a fully rounded person more and she had so much going on and then it got stuck for whatever reason. But I had the best time and I feel like there's so much more potential to that person.