#So yes if anyone is gonna record it that would be awesome

[mightybeaujester]

Is ANYONE gonna record the Calamity Q&A on Twitter spaces tmrw? I'm p sure I'm not gonna make it but I don't wanna miss it

[imajinxnation]

Ted asking the reader out on a date and they r both super shy

Babe In The Records

Ted Logan x FEM!Reader

SUMMARY // You work at the record shop in the Sam Dimas mall and Ted finally finds the courage to ask you out..

TW // Fluff, Short and Sweet..

ALL GIFS FROM PINTEREST

I agree with Ted.. ya'll are the most bodacious babes ever!!

Oh God.. there you were, just going through and organizing the records and tapes, and all Ted could do was stare.. He swore you were a goddess. Ted had met you when you were cleaning in the record store and he had bumped into you, quite literally.

The first time you met, Ted was literally running into the store, desperate to get a hold on the last Van Halen record before someone else did. Needless to say, he had mistook you for a buyer as you reached for the record and tackled you to the ground to reach it before you.. You were not impressed. You quickly explained to him that you were just moving it and that you worked at the record store. He felt pretty stupid after you told him that, bought the Van Halen record and quickly got out before he embarrassed himself more in front of you.

Ever since that first meeting, he's been wanting so desperately to make it up to you, and has tried to ask you out multiple times, but each time, he chickens out at the last moment.

But not today, oh no! Today is the day that he's gonna do it! (Though he tells himself this every time and never does..)

"Hey, dude! How's it hangin'!?" Ted asks cheerfully, bounding up to you like a golden retriever puppy.

You jump slightly, not expecting anyone to talk to you. You look up and see Ted, a big goofy smile on his adorably handsome face. You sigh and smile back. His cheerful self always made your day so much better..

"Today's been slow, but that's better than totally packed, I guess," you reply with a small smile, a tint of a blush running across your face, "but what about you, Ted? How're you?"

"Better now that I'm in the presence of a totally bodacious babe," Ted grins, but dies on the inside. Why did he say that's, she's gonna think he's weird, everyone does!

You laugh and blush, bashfully looking down, suddenly interested in the sneakers on your feet and smiling stupidly.

"Aww.. that's sweet Ted, but you don't have to butter me up, you know I have a soft spot for you. So, what do you need?" You ask, placing a hand on your hip, waiting for a request from him.

"W-would you like to, uh.." Ted trails off, blushing wildly, looking everywhere but at you. He shuffles a bit and takes a deep breath before speaking again.

"Would you wanna go and get a cheese pretzel with me some time..?" Ted asks shyly, his cheeks a bright red in embarrassment.

A huge smile forms on your lips, and you nod, excitement rushing through your body, your brain and heart both screaming at you to say something.

"Yeah! Yes, I'd love to Ted!" You bounce on the balls of your feet happily.

Ted's eyes light up at your response and does the biggest air guitar gesture of his entire life, so happy that you didn't reject him.

After he stops doing air guitar, he takes your hands in his, squeezing them lightly.

"Okay! Next time you're free, we'll go and get a cheese pretzel together, and we could chill at my house after and listen to some wicked tunes, yeah?" Ted says all in one breath, the doofy smile on his face never ceasing.

"That sounds awesome, Ted. I'm free on Saturday, okay?" You laugh at his enthusiasm. Not to make fun of him, but in pure unadulterated joy.

"Excellent! Meet me back here at the mall and we'll have the most excellent time, Babe!" He gives you a quick, sweet kiss on the cheek before running off back home to plan more for your totally wicked date.

[quodekash]

FINAL PART OF THE EPISODE, LETS GOOOO

I LOVE HIM 😭

this entire situation is very not good

(I forgot to write down my thoughts lmao)

oh so he's gonna suffocate him? that makes sense actually, I thought he was gonna shoot him

anyway time for the perfectly timed rescue from kangsailom

HELL YEAH SAILOM

BRO JUST PUNCHED A GROWN MAN, IM PROUD OF HIM

no come on man

why

why can't we all just be happy

why the hell did kang throw himself between the gun and the guy

(did you just throw your hand BETWEEN the hammer and the phone?)

oh okay so its just an arm wound

he'll be fine, right?

just a lil graze wound?

also because of the light it looks like theres a guy in the blood lmao

Tony stark-ass man

gUYS

I get that you wanna be all noble and stuff but can we chill a little bit

maybe duck down instead? step to the left? run out the door and grab some authorities so that you're not facing against this deranged guy alone? just some food for thought

YES

YES

YES

HELL YES

oh wait no

oh no now he's gonna go to jail for gun possession

crap

OH WAIT BUT SAIFAH'S ALSO IN JAIL

THEY CAN BE JAIL BOYFRIENDS

we've got bathroom boyfriends (soundwin/guynawa), rooftop boyfriends (patpran and arguably guynawa too), pool boyfriends (tinngun) and now we can have jail boyfriends!

the four elements. bathroom, rooftop, jail, pool.

long ago the four nations lived together in harmony. then, everything changed when the jail nation attacked. only the avatar, master of all four boyfriends, could stop them. but when the world needed him most, he vanished.

a hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new avatar, a poolbender named palm. and although his poolbending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone. but I believe palm can save the world!

(I can't quite remember but I'm pretty sure palmnueng managed all four of those at some point. they definitely got beat up in a bathroom at some point or something like that, there was that pool scene from the very start of the series, they're kind of technically on the run from the police and stuff like the entire time which is close enough to jail, and they end up on the roof of that one building quite a few times. so yeah, I guess palmnueng are the ultimate boyfriends)

OH CRAP THATS RIGHT I WAS WATCHING THE EPISODE

obviously like, empathy, this completely sucks and they're absolutely gonna convict name because it'll be in some record somewhere that he worked for whatshisface, so theyll decide that name was either trying to take down his boss so he could have the power, or that he was still working for his boss but mis-aimed and was actually trying to shoot kang and sailom

but also... jail boyfriends

thats it? that's freaking it?

okay then bro, jeez

that was truly something

OHMYOHMYOHMYOHMYOHMY

GUI34ERIHSGDJOIPE4JRPIOSJGHJO4B3EHIRSDGHIRBEVHDFGHVE4RD

GO48ERIDHGJIVOUERUODGOHVE0IROUHSD0UGHOUIVO0ERHOUD0UHOUG0UVHOGEWHR80DSUHGUOV0U9EHRU-SHDG9U-VHE9U-RHIDS0Y9G9Y-UVWEHPIS-9UDGHP-UV9PEWUS9DPH-GUVPH 9-UEHSD9JGIHPVJ9EIHR9SDIG90JVIE

IM NOT BEING DELUSIONAL IT ACTUALLY IS COMING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND IT'S INITIATED BY GUY????

AAAAA THIS IS AMAZING

I so hope they kiss twice there, that would be awesome, then I could put the patpran rooftop kiss soundtrack behind it like I did with soundwin

GUIERJDKFBGNOVIERLNDGOVJD NEXT WEEK IS THE FINAL EPISODE WHICH WILL BE EMOTIONAL AND ITLL ALSO BE A GRADUATION EPISODE WHICH WILL BE EVEN MORE EMOTIONAL, B U T GUYNAWA ARE FINALLY GONNA KISS SO THE PAIN WILL BE WORTH IT HOLY FRICK

I HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK NOW???? A WHOLE-ASS WEEK???? GEORJDSKGB HOW

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Redacted Incorrect Quotes Pt. ?

Haha you really thought my lazy ass was gonna work on WIPs? Nah. Have some redacted incorrect quotes based on tweets I saw, either on the app or screenshots of.

No I don’t care if the dashes are uneven.

Redacted Masterlist

----

Angel: *Flirting poorly with Davey at the grocery store* Hey so do you eat food often?

----

Sweetheart: Curious George is not a monkey because he has no tail. He is an ape. He will grow into a silverback gorilla and kill the man with the yellow hat in a display of dominance.

Milo: I’m literally just trying to read to Aggro.

-----

Milo: I love when kittens yell, but their heads are too big so they squint.

----

Guy: Roommate broke up with boyfriend that cooks for us. Excuse me while I go die.

----

Angel: In 1920 we took children out of the coal mine. In 2020 the most popular game on the market is minecraft. 

Baabe: Children yearn for mines.

-----

*3 AM*

No one:

LITERALLY no one:

Asher, in wolf form: I wonder if I can break the record with how loud I can lick my paw.

-----

Darlin: If civilization crumbles, I have a little flashlight in a drawer somewhere.

---

Sweetheart: Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” is about friends practicing magic but when someone walks in they have to play it cool.

Milo: No. It isn’t.

Sweetheart: *starts singing* The moon is bright, the spirits up. We’re here tonight, and that’s enough. *whispers* This is the part where someone comes in. *Continues pointedly* Simply having a wonderful christmastime!

----

Angel: My husband gives people a thumbs down instead of flicking them off when driving. He reports that a thumbs down makes them a lot more angry.

----

Adam: I would be such a good “dead wife”. Like, can you imagine how good I would look in a dead wife flashback sequence? Someone make me their “dead wife.

----

David: As a kid I thought Simba was crazy for running away after the death of Mufasa. But now watching it as an adult, I get it. It did look pretty incriminating of him leading Mufasa to that gorge. Witnesses saw him singing “I just can’t wait to be king.” A persecutor could do some real damage with that conviction.

----

Honey: I don’t like the saying “don’t speak ill of the dead”. It always struck me as disingenuous. People are multi-layered. Yes, I did light up a room. But I also stole my roommate’s milk to make mac and cheese blackout hammered. Let’s acknowledge both sides.

----

David, giving a pep talk to the pack: For anyone feeling down, just remember Velveeta cheese has been on the market since 1918. If trash cheese can succeed, so can you. And for anyone who likes Velveeta cheese, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you like trash cheese.

----

Angel: Lying awake thinking about the time I ordered a giant magikarp plush from Japan but then got refunded because the plushie got crushed under a shipping container.

----

Asher, and maybe Guy too: I’m here if you need moron support. It’s like moral support but I’m stupid.

-----

David: If I have to throw a party for my pack, it will be breakfast. Not lunch. Not dinner. It will start at 8:30 am so there is a valid reason for no one to come and I can kick them out before noon because I only promised breakfast, not lunch. The introverts will win even if it kills me.

----

Milo and Ollie: My cat has no responsibilities, but all day he walks from around the house, from room to room, with this sense of purpose, as if he has a long to-do list of tasks no one asked for. Just a weird small furry dude going about his little cat errands.

----

Freelancer: Aww my microbiome fancies some high quality fermented foods, does it? A little kombucha perhaps? I don’t give a shit. I’m a megabiome, I do what I want. I’m having a fanta lemon. I’ll swallow coins.

-----

Lovely: I would be an awesome drug dealer. Like, can you imagine? *giggles* We don’t have coke, is pepsi okay?

-----

Freelancer: Math professors be wildin like “a man tossed a coin, find the probability of him getting a head?” BRO WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT A H-

Huxley: I wanna reply back same to my data analytics professor so badly!!

------

David, at the pack solstice parties: I, myself, am understaffed at this time.

----

Milo with Marie watching Aggro for him:

-----

Asher: Fuck your zodiac sign, what button do you press when it says “press any button to start”

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

As a follow-up to my let people use fanfiction as narrative therapy post I would also like to state for the record:

Ain’t nothing wrong with self insert fanfiction. Or Mary Sue OCs that are basically self inserts. Also nothing wrong with people writing ‘bad’ fanfiction that has nothing to do with the canon really. I don’t give a shit. People are making art and that’s awesome. I may not read stuff that isn’t to my personal tastes, but I am Glad people are making their art regardless. Especially young people. Especially people who are otherwise new to writing. Hell yeah, Make Art.

One thing I have noticed about fandom on tumblr is that in very large fandoms with mass appeal, there are often a lot of kids and youths and young folk watching or reading and thus wanting to create transformative art about it. This also means that a high concentration of fic may tend more towards having less to do with the actual canon of the thing and being more focused on whatever those kids really wanted to write or read about it. To discuss one specific example, the largest subsection of fandom that currently exists around the DC batman franchises on this site is the batfam fandom, a fandom comprised mostly of younger fans who are fans more of the platonic ideal of batman and his adopted kids and close associates that only really exists in their own works and also the webtoon**** For most of those people the appeal is the found family aspect, and that’s what they want to read and write about. Hell yeah. Good for them. At least they’re writing. At least they’re making art.

****I know there are a lot of people in the batman comics fandom that have serious issues with the webtoon and the way that dc comics publishing agendas have begun to reflect more what people on the internet are talking about and less coherent storytelling that makes sense based on past canon. And this is a very fair criticism.

But this is not a problem limited to dc. This is a problem of all major production companies who produce art for mass release. TV shows being written in response to what people say on reddit has been ruining creative endeavors in an obvious way at least since Game of Thrones was airing. Books being published based on what will be popular on tiktok derived from the popularity of some frankly terrible novels (yes I do mean acotar) leads to some absolute drivel on the best seller list. Of course the comics industry is also fucking things up the same way.

Your enemy there are not the young fans new to fandom who are just discovering writing fanfiction and doing so by writing about whatever interests them most. Please stop blaming kids and other people who aren’t writing fanfiction close enough to your concept of canon for this problem, it is far bigger than that.

Let people make their maybe bad art in peace. Everyone has to make bad art on the road to learning how to make better art. I am glad they are making their art regardless.

Also no shade meant to those fans this is just an observation and I wish you all well, but I do find it a little funny that the people who Are experts on the dc comics canon who I have seen criticize the existence of the batfam fandom on here are also usually like ‘this is my favorite character, I hate every single run this character has ever been in except this one from 30 years ago and five panels of this one run that got cancelled early.’ Like, you don’t really like most of the canon you wish other people would familiarize themselves with right? Give new fans a chance to want to learn more about it. Most of the fans in that circle are pretty young, they’re gonna have kinda bad taste sometimes and that’s fine and good actually. They’ll grow out of it and maybe some of them will come to know the comics canon more closely.

This is also why even though I am vocal about personally disliking the works of SJM (acotar my beloathed) and its impact on the publishing industry, I am honestly happy for anyone that read those books and enjoyed them. Same for every other book I don’t like. If you read it and get something out of it hell yeah good for you. I was unironically into twilight for many years as a teen I am not here to pass judgement on teens or anyone for that matter for what they enjoy.

Most big fandoms I have dipped my toes into have this same problem. If there are a lot of young people in that fandom, there’s gonna be a lot of fanfic that is written by people just learning to write, and that’s great, I love that actually, good for them. But those are always the fandoms where I see people being perhaps more vitriolic than necessary towards other fans for not being up to snuff. Let people make art that you don’t think is good, please. It’s fine actually. If you don’t like it you don’t have to read it. Just be glad someone is making art that makes them happy and move on.

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

i watched iasip. once again, thank you for the long post. you really sold me on it, and i'm glad you did. i don't have anyone to share my thoughts to, so i thought i'd come back here.

(just for the record, i watched from season 5-16, because i struggle to get into shows if they start off slow. after i write this, i'm going to go back and watch season 1-4)

my first thoughts were, i'm surprised how much of the soundtrack i know. the background music and intro go so hard, don't get me wrong, but i was shocked how much of it i've already heard from youtube videos and stuff.

my seconds thoughts were. woah i hate everyone yet i care for them?? now that is good writing. but also i've never gasped or said "oh no" aloud so much while watching a show. again, good writing.

surprisingly, several of the episodes like, hit me hard and got me genuinely feeling like shit. cough the suburban house episode cough.

i was also surprised at the out right gayness. normally from these types of sitcoms, i've grown to accept the odd gay joke and gay-coded characters. but a canonically gay character that's sexuality is brought up often and isn't just stereotypes ontop of stereotypes? that (sadly) really shocked me.

i also found myself able to predict the way the episodes were gonna go, not for all of them but for quite a few. my brain would just assume the worst, and then it would happen. which, i think added to the atmosphere if anything. the dramatic irony and the dread i would feel as the episode progressed really just hooked me. i knew it was all going to shit, i hated it was all going to shit, but i couldn't stop watching.

overall, a very enjoyable show. i think i might like it a little less when i watch the earlier 4 seasons, because i'm assuming it'll be physically painful to watch. but again, thank you! you've created an iasip fan!

I'm really glad you liked it! thanks for the update bro 👍 (and are you saying you literally watched the entirety of seasons 5-16? if so that was SPEEDY as hell dude that's awesome)

and yep! a lot of the soundtrack, including the title sequence song, are just from an unlicensed free music library online lmfao, so a lot of youtubers and stuff use it when they need music that won't get them demonetized for improper copyrighting etc. this is because they started the show with such a small budget lmao, and they decided to just stick with it. it's a funny bit tbh. here's the pieces they use for score if you were wondering, I listen to them a lot lmfao it's genuinely good music (coming from a music major who listens to instrumental orchestral shit a lot lmao)

and YES it's so awesome how terrible the characters are as people, yet you're still captivated by them and genuinely care about them. that's storytelling baybee!!! some people don't really vibe with that aspect of the show and it puts them off so I’m glad you liked it.

the suburbs episode LMAO that one's a classic. something I had a bit of trouble with at the beginning was being able to separate myself from the characters and just appreciate the comedy and story from an objective standpoint. I just really tend to put myself in the characters' positions or immediately find any way I can to empathize with the scenario. but this show becomes so painful to watch if you try to do that the whole time, so learning to take myself out of the story and just really not take any of it seriously at all has been interesting to say the least. this isn't to say you shouldn't have emotional responses to the show or connect with the characters, not at all, just that I had to learn to really not take the jokes and scenarios seriously. I hope that somewhat made sense

and yes!!! canon gay representation!!! even though rob mcelhenney (guy who plays mac) isn't gay, his mom is gay and he has two gay brothers, so he has been surrounded by the queer community his entire life. he's one of the few straight men who I think are truly qualified to play a gay character, and he does it very respectfully and mindfully, while not compromising the spirit and humor of the show itself. I really respect him for that, and it's one of the things that makes this show really special to me.

(p.s. idk if you've seen mythic quest? that's another one with great gay rep. I think I remember you mentioning you'd seen it but I thought I’d put that in here just in case you haven’t)

you saying that you would predict what was going to happen next because you just thought "what's the worst way this could go," and then it did indeed follow that worst case scenario, made me laugh lmao. I have a similar experience watching. it's exactly like you said: you know it's going to shit, you hate that it's going to shit, but you just can't stop watching regardless.

and, I don't know if you’ve already watched seasons 1-4 by the time I post this, but they're really not bad at all. in fact, seasons 2 and 4 are in my top 6 seasons of the show overall, and the season 4 finale is one of the most iconic episodes in the entire series. I just meant that season 5 is a good place to start because it immediately gets going, it makes sense without too much context, and it's a good way to gauge whether you'd be into the rest of it or not. but that's awesome that you just immediately watched all the way to the present.

anyway! yippee!!! welcome to the club! I’m a pretty new fan too tbh I started watching this august, but I’m really glad I was able to recommend you something that I love, and that you really enjoy as well. lmk what you think of seasons 1-4 or if you ever want to talk more about the show, as you can see I am always down to yap about my favorite sitcoms lmao (sorry about the unnecessarily long response) happy honda days 💯

p.s. here's a picture of the sunny cast at la pride :)

[floof-writes]

i love when tragedies are like “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there”

-Starpeace, tumblr

This isn't my normal type of post, but I just closed my high school's production of 'Puffs, Or: Seven Increasingly Eventful Years at a Certain School of Magic and Magic', and I can't stop thinking about it. This show broke me and put me back together and I don't know what to fucking do about it.

I played the role of Megan Jones, and she taught me how to be a person again. Skip straight to the next heading if you just want to know what the hell I'm talking about, otherwise, here's my Love Letter to Puffs: you deserve the world and the world doesn't deserve you, but every person reading this deserves to see this show at least once in their life.

First of all, this show is hilarious. Like, 'laugh until your stomach hurts and you can't breath and you start coughing up your sanity' hilarious. Your abs will hurt after seeing this show and your tear ducts will struggle to keep up with demand. But, despite that, or maybe because of that, it is also heartbreaking. Maybe the best kind, I think. The kind that rips your heart into pieces but then sews it back together, tells you that you have to carry on, but somehow that's worse, because hope hurts more than anything else.

And to see Puffs is one thing, but to be in it?

I don't know what to do or how to feel. For the rest of my life I will have carry this grief nestled next to my soul. The characters have the faces of people I know, and goddamn that makes it so hard to think about but just as hard not to.

I am changed, for this show. I am a different person at the other end of this nine week love-stained, obsessive hell. It found me when I was in a very vulnerable place, only halfway to healing, and picked me up and straight up told me to my Megan's face that I "shouldn't have to be alone"! Told me safety is love and loneliness is a lie we tell ourselves when we hate ourselves too much to see reason. That justice is the only pursuit that brings both self-love and heartache.

Live theatre is a powerful, powerful thing and yes, a professional recording of Puffs is available on Amazon Video and some pretty good bootlegs are up on YouTube, but if this show is open anywhere near you at a local high school, college, or community theatre, then I'm begging you to go see it in person. High school-age actors are uniquely suited to this show so don't let that make you wary!

If anyone, ever, wants to talk about Puffs, I'm more than available. PM me, ask me, tag me in your post. I don't care if you're seeing this post 2 months or 2 years or 10 years from now, if I am still on this hellsite, I will respond.

Go see Puffs. If everyone on this planet did, I think the world would be just a slightly better place.

Okay, hold on, what's Puffs?

Puffs tells us the story of a certain badger-aligned house during the seven years a certain orphan boy wizard attends a certain school of magic, plus ✨it was the 90's✨. If you can't tell, Puffs is technically a Harry Potter parody, and it very intentionally gives JKR no money and is not licensed with Warner Bros. Maybe that's a small part of why it spoke to me so much, because in the simplest terms: Puffs won custody of me in the great JKR/Fandom divorce. I really felt betrayed by JKR's transphobia and treatment of representation issues and this show was a bandaid and a kiss better for my aching, eleven year-old heart.

The story follows the Puff Wayne Hopkins, a young British orphan who was raised by his uncle in New Mexico. Wayne is the nerdiest, 90's-est kid you've ever met and well, as a fan of Star Wars and Dungeons & Dragons and Lord of the Rings, when he gets his school letter he gets this idea in his head that his life is about to become as awesome as that of the average fantasy protagonist. That he's gonna be a hero! Of course, he isn't. That's Harry. It's Harry at every single turn and Wayne and his friends are constantly being screwed over as unmentioned side characters in Harry's world-shattering and school-wrecking life, not to mention that the Puffs are the laughingstock of the school anyway, constantly failing classes and being bullied by the Snakes.

The Puffs work hard to become better but it rarely turns out. I mean, just look at Cedric, who plays a huge role in mentoring Wayne and his classmates the first act. Yikes. As the Puffs grow into their teen-hood it even gets a little spicy (in the hilariously awkward, teenage way), and eventually, they each come to understand that Puffs matter, Puffs are the best, in fact, Puffs are the "Mighty Ducks of wizards. No. The Mighty Ducks 2 of Wizards!"

[idolsummons]

Depression to Despair (Tez Couldn't Think of a Better Title)

Finally wrote the drabble about Ren bearing witness to an elder god summoning, enjoy ♥

Trigger warnings for depression, suicidal ideation, etc.

Note: I don't have depression or suicidal ideation, which features as a theme in this drabble. This was written for fun and not any kind of serious piece delving into the mindset of humans, what have you.

[Ren] wanna come over 2nite? Been working on a song

[Hana] I’d love to but I’ve already got something else on, sorry! :(

[Hana] Maybe tomorrow?

[Ren] yeah no prob

[Ren] what’s 2nite?

[Hana] Dinner with another idol and her manager, and my manager, get to know each other kinda thing. Thinking about a collab.

[Ren] have fun

[Hana] I’d have more fun at a dinner if it wasn’t for my strict diet lol

[Ren] gotta let lose sometimes

[Ren] go enjoy yourself

[Hana] Thanks, I’ll try to keep that in mind :) 

[Hana] See you tomorrow! <3

[Ren] see ya

Ren set his phone down on his bedside table.

There is no dinner.

She’s trying to spare my feelings but I know how she really feels.

She hates me. Why would anyone like Hana like a pathetic excuse of a human like me? It was stupid to ever try to get in touch in the first place. I should just stay out of everyone’s way and keep to myself.

Better yet, I should just -

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Ren grumbles. He rubs his hands over his face. It doesn’t help to get rid of the thoughts, but it’s better than doing nothing.

From the ground comes a gentle miaow. He removes his hands from his face and sees a familiar fluffy face.

‘Dinner time already, Jiji?’ The black cat meows again.

Ren gets up and proceeds to the kitchen, where he’s finally, after much rubbing up against his legs like she’s trying to make him fall, able to give Jiji her dinner consisting of raw meat. She starts eating straight away, paying no mind to Ren going outside to light up a cigarette.

Just hold on for one more night.

***

[Hana] Hey Ren! :) 

[Hana] Sorry about last night, you still free tonight?

[Ren] yeah

[Ren] still wanna come over?

[Hana] Yep!

[Ren] awesome

[Ren] come whenever u want

[Ren] anything u want 4 dinner?

[Hana] No thanks, I’ll eat before I leave :) 

[Ren] k

[Ren] see u soon

Despite his kind offer to cook (it might be that Hana refused the offer because he’s not the best chef out there), Ren himself does not eat; it would be too much of a hassle. Besides, Hana’s visiting has given him just enough energy to finally clean up. He doesn’t know how long it’s been, but clothes and various things have been strewn about without much care, and a thin layer of dust covers much of the furniture. He might not have time to clean everything, but he will do what he can.

***

Regardless of whether or not she’s singing those pop songs with mass appeal, Hana has a beautiful voice. Yes, it does seem to have been trained with pop music in mind - he would never ask her to sing rock, not that that’s his style - but he feels she could easily branch out into similar genres was she so minded. So enthralled with her performance is he (as he is every time) that Ren near forgets to stop the recording once she’s finished singing.

‘How’s that?’ Hana asks as she removes her headphones. Her cheery smile has Ren’s stomach twisting into knots. ‘That’s what you had in mind, yeah?’

‘Mind giving me a moment to listen back?’

‘Go for it.’ Hana takes her seat beside Ren.

Ren begins to hum after listening to the short recording a few times. ‘Almost,’ he replies, ‘but I’m gonna have to think about it. If I send you some notes overnight, would you come back tomorrow?’

‘Absolutely. I suppose I shouldn’t keep you then.’

‘You can stay for a while longer if you want. I don’t usually sleep till late anyway.’

Hana checks her phone. ‘It’s already 9, and I’ve got a busy day tomorrow. Better get some rest, y’know?’

‘Sure.’

Both Hana and Ren stand. They move from Ren’s small home recording studio to the front door.

‘I had fun tonight,’ says Hana. She wraps her arms around Ren, who reciprocates the embrace. He finds it difficult to let go, but doesn’t want to make the situation awkward. Once his arms are no longer around her, Ren opens the door. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow!’

‘See ya.’ Ren manages a small smile as Hana looks back to wave farewell.

She only comes here because she pities me.

Ren closes the door.

You think the most popular idol in the country doesn’t have better people to hang out with?

He moves to the bathroom.

I’m just some loser wishing I can make a living off my music, and that doesn’t seem likely.

He opens the cabinet and grabs a bottle of antidepressants. He holds the bottle tight in his hand for some time. He looks at the other medications - painkillers, mostly - which sit within the cabinet.

Why shouldn’t I grab all of these and just -

‘She’ll be back tomorrow.’

Ren removes the lid from the bottle and takes what he requires and nothing more. He puts the bottle back in the cabinet and closes the door.

***

[Hana] I’m really, really sorry Ren

[Hana] Something’s come up today. I won’t be able to make it to yours tonight.

[Hana] (┬┬﹏┬┬)

[Ren] don’t stress

[Ren] it’s fine

[Hana] Tomorrow for sure, yeah? :) 

[Hana] It’s a Saturday and I don’t have any shows so it’ll be fine!

[Hana] Unless they spring something on me last moment lol

[Ren] haha

[Ren] that’d be cruel

[Hana] Yeah lol

[Ren] c u tomorrow then

[Hana] Have a good day! :) 

After feeding Jiji, Ren returns to bed and does not move for the rest of the day, save to give the cat her dinner. His thoughts consume him, with only one ray of light shining through it all.

There’s always tomorrow.

***

[Hana] Ren you’re gonna hate me.

[Ren] they sprung a surprise show on u?

[Hana] Thankfully not that but

[Hana] I have something really important that came up last minute and I won’t be done in time to get to your place.

[Hana] And I know, it’s a Saturday, it’s fine to stay up late this once, but I promised to spend time with my family tomorrow and if I don’t get up early to go to church with them, my parents won’t be happy :( 

[Ren] you’re a busy person

[Ren] things like this happen

[Hana] You’re so understanding, I don’t deserve a friend like you <3

[Hana] I’d love to set a time aside but I can’t really do that because…

[Hana] Well, you’ve seen what’s happened these past few days :( 

[Ren] I’m home in the afternoons anyway

[Ren] just lemme know when u are coming and I’ll wait for u

[Hana] Thank you sooooo much <3

[Hana] (✿◠‿◠)

She’s making up excuses so she doesn’t have to see me. Even Miyu’s not so busy that she can’t set down a date. She’s done this so she never has to see you again. She’ll stop talking to you and then you won’t have a friend in the world.

What will be the point of it all then?

Ren manages to get out of bed. He gets dressed, but only barely, throwing on nothing but a basic shirt (it used to fit, but is now a size too big) and tracksuit pants.

Jiji sleeps happily upon her bed in the sun.

She’ll never notice.

Ren leaves via the front door.

He won’t be coming back.

***

There’s always people on the beach, even in this colder weather, whether playing around or walking their dogs. He’s used the hours to reflect - on himself, his life, those who have been closest to him over the years, on her. Every time he’s come to the same conclusion.

It’s pointless.

Nobody cares.

They won’t notice if you’re gone.

The sun is down before the beach is clear.

He walks down to the shore, stopping short of where the waves brush against his shoes.

The shoes are removed and placed beside him.

With one last deep breath, Ren begins to walk towards the depths.

He takes one look back at everything. At the sand, at the buildings in the distance, at…

‘Hana?’

Despite the fact that only the moon lights the beach, it’s impossible to miss her. Even were it not for the styling of her hair, purple streak on display, but he recognises her from her very build. Something seemingly bundled up is in her hands while she rushes across the beach, paying no mind to the man who stands knee deep in ocean water.

See? She’s not busy. She just didn’t want to spend time with you.

No, that’s not it. What’s she doing here? What’s she holding?

Ren waits until some distance has come between them and begins to follow behind her. His shoes remain at the shore.

It’s some 10 minutes before Hana and Ren arrive at the destination at the end of the beach. Ren keeps himself hidden within some shrubbery nearby; he does not wish to disturb whatever it is she’s doing.

Hana places her belongings on the sandy ground, save for the fabric which he had previously thought to be what kept her items bundled up; rather, it’s a robe which she dons rather quickly.

A pole - or so it seems to be from a distance - is taken from her belongings, and Hana begins to draw something in the sand. From his distance and viewpoint, Ren can’t begin to guess at what it might be.

Once complete, Hana picks up a book - better described as a tome for its size - and flips it open. She seems to look between the book and her drawing for a little while until she nods to herself. She must be satisfied with whatever she’s done.

Hana looks up into the sky, and Ren does, too. All he sees there is the moon. He’s not sure what kind of importance it plays in her task, but Ren observes Hana looking up at the moon for a while longer.

When she is finally done looking at the moon, she looks back towards her handiwork and dons a hood

She flips through the pages of her book once more and begins to say something. Ren isn’t sure what, but it seems almost like a chant.

Despite not being able to hear what she’s saying or see what she’s drawn, Ren feels a tightening in his stomach. It’s not the kind he feels when spending time with Hana, nor when he receives a message from her. It’s an unease which isn’t common to him, for unease is oft replaced with depression, and depression usually comes with a feeling of emptiness which he’s all too familiar with.

It’s what brought him here this night, after all.

Rather, he gets the feeling he should run, that he should forget all that he has seen here, but his overwhelming curiosity keeps him planted on the spot. He wants to know what Hana is doing, what was so important that she didn’t wish to spend time with someone she was so adamant is her friend.

When Hana finishes chanting, nothing happens. He begins to ponder if this was all just some strange kind of rehearsal, maybe she got a part in a show or a movie and is trying to get into character, or maybe -

A dark light explodes from Hana’s drawing in the sand.

‘What the fuck?’ Ren says too loudly, like he was expecting the explosion of light to be accompanied by an appropriate amount of sound.

Hana looks back. Her eyes are wide.

‘Ren?’ Her mouth is ajar. ‘You shouldn’t be here.’

He doesn’t have time to ask any questions, nor time to even formulate such things in his mind. Before he can so much as blink the light dissipates, leaving behind something which Ren does not remember.

The last thing he does remember is darkness.

***

‘It was probably another suicide attempt.’

Ren does not open his eyes. Along with the wavering voice of his mother, obviously trying so hard not to cry, Ren can hear the gentle beeps of a heart rate monitor.

‘This wouldn’t be the first time… but usually he’s not - he -’

‘He’s been talking in his sleep,’ says an unfamiliar voice. ‘Do you know if that’s normal?’

‘Oh…’ his mother mumbles. ‘About what?’

‘We couldn’t really make any sense of it. Something hideous, taller than the trees…’

Ren’s eyes shoot open.

‘It’s coming.’

His mother and the unfamiliar woman - a doctor or a nurse - looks over.

‘Ren!’ His mother rushes to his bedside. She puts a hand to his forehead, rubbing her thumb over his skin. ‘What is it, baby?’

‘That… That thing.’ He speaks quickly, to the point where his words become jumbled. ‘It came from the beach, and - and it devoured the moon.’

The staff furrows her brow.

Ren’s mother stops the motion with her thumb. ‘What is it? You can tell me.’

‘You won’t… you won’t understand. I don’t understand, Mum. It was… was everywhere but nowhere, not of this world…’

‘You just had a bad dream is all. It’s okay, Mum’s here now.’

‘No, no, it wasn’t a dream. I saw it.’

Silence fills the room for too long, before his mother finally speaks up. ‘One of your friends wanted to see you, too. She seemed quite keen about it, too. I’ll wait outside and come back once she’s done, okay?’ She tries a kind smile, but her eyes are filled with tears. ‘I’ll get you something to eat from the cafe.’

Ren’s mother and the staff leave the room. The one who enters next is…

‘No.’ But the word does not leave his mouth. ‘No, no, no, no, no.’

‘Ren.’ Hana’s voice is shaky. She kneels beside his bed. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…’ Tears flowing down her cheeks are followed by sobbing.

‘Get out,’ he says, but it’s unclear whether the words reach her ears or not. ‘Get out!’

Though Hana remains, crying and apologising and desperately trying to make it all up to him, Ren has never felt more alone in his life.

Anguish and despair are his only roommates, his only bedfellows, his only headmates.

It feels that this will last an eternity, beyond even his demise.

Ending this suffering would be a mercy, but ending it all is no longer a present thought.

All that remains is the fuzziness of the night prior and what will surely be a lifetime of madness.

[the-guild-codex-and-other-things]

White Collar Incorrect Quotes Generator 2

Mozzie: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

______

Neal: If I may interject... Diana: Oh, awesome, Neal was eavesdropping.

______

Peter: Are you ever going to listen to me? Mozzie: Yes. Absolutely. Peter: When? Mozzie: When you're right.

______

Jones: You can track Peter? Mozzie: Of course I can. If the NSA can do it, so can I.

______

Neal: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to- Neal: *sees Diana shoving Mozzie into the washing machine while Jones records and Peter watches* Neal: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

______

Diana: You seem familiar... have I threatened you before?

______

Neal: I won a new phone in a race. Diana: Huh? What kind of race lets you win a phone, Neal? Neal: A race between the store owner, the cop, and me.

______

Mozzie: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much. Neal: Oh, you’ve been? Mozzie: Once. In Monopoly.

______

Elizabeth, rushing into the room: It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset! Peter: Elizabeth, honey, sit down! Sweetheart, tell us all about it. Mozzie, would you get Elizabeth some water? Mozzie: What is she gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Thank God, the water’s here!”?

______

Elizabeth: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

______

Peter: I’m telling you, my team is competent. Diana, rushing in: Peter! Jones tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Link to Generator: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

[dollarbin]

Shakey Sundays #2:

Neil Young's Re-ac-tor

Yeah, yeah, I know: I committed to doing Neil Young's studio albums in chronological order. And yes, I'm also very aware that writing about Re-ac-tor, Neil Young's sloppy train wreck of a record from 81, instead of the foundational masterpiece that is his second record, Everybody Knows This is Nowhere, is deeply suspect.

But chronology and order have no place in a dollar bin: you never know what you are going to get, aside from sore knees and dirty fingers, when you get down on the floor and start rifling through a battered box of LP's. And so I'm afraid you have no business expecting anything different here in the Dollar Bin. I'm gonna write about all Neil's albums but I'm gonna do it in whatever order strikes my fancy each week.

And so it's time to talk about Re-ac-tor!

First, yeah, the record kinda sucks. Young seemingly had way more important things on his mind at this point, some of them worthy pursuits (caring for his young child with cerebral palsy) and some of them far less worthy (working on his dumpster fire of a movie, Human Highway). So yeah, let's start by acknowledging that this was perhaps his worst record to date in 81.

But it's also totally awesome! Let's count the ways.

First off, Re-ac-tor is the most boneheaded of all Neil Young's records. This is a big statement to make - he's got a few totally boneheaded records - but when it comes to Neil Young boneheaded is a good thing! Take the opening track, Opera Star. It's safe to say that any song which describes anyone as "born to rock" is not going to win a Pulitzer. But take a listen: I'd argue that Young was busy being silly for his own benefit - and ours. There's only two ways to listen to music like this by Young: you can laugh or cry. I fall off my chair laughing every time.

Young was genuinely striving to be a responsible father and husband at this phase in his life. Every backing vocal and nearly every lyric on the entire record sounds like he was blowing off steam by reliving life as a 14 year old.

There's something to be said for such an approach. 14 years earlier Dylan had been a good husband all day, then balanced things out by getting drunk with The Band all night in the Big Pink basement. And that lifestyle led to the incomparable Basement Tapes.

But he's Bob Dylan, and Bob can do some incredible stuff. Every time I've left my earnest job and family pursuits to spend a night in the desert with men and cans of pilsner, then discovered the next morning that somehow my shoes melted in the fire while I was still wearing them, I have routinely failed to make great art in the process.

So, did Neil pull a Bob on Re-ac-tor? Is it as good as The Basement Tapes? No sir. But boneheaded songs like Opera Star, T-Bone (which, as I mentioned in Shakey #1, is indeed entirely dedicated to describing one man's plethora of mashed potatoes) and Surfer Joe and Moe the Sleaze are so boneheaded that they make me happy. And what's better than being made happy?

And yet, the record also features one of the least boneheaded of all Young's songs on it. One of Neil's best concerts ever had occured four years before, a stand alone, solo show he described as that year's "World Tour". The show is full of important new songs that would come out on Rust Never Sleeps. But the best song of the night was one he held onto until Re-ac-tor. Take a listen to Shots from the show:

Nice huh? Now listen to how Neil and the boys repackage that sweet melody and dense imagery into a soundtrack for machine gun wielding cavemen in some 80's era video game:

Sure, the Commodore-64-level sound effects are silly and the drums wear me out, but Neil's singing and his gnarly guitar are packaged into a single sonic missile, and it's aimed right at my soul. Note that the wrap-things-up-sweetly bridge at the end of the earlier live solo version was ditched for the album take: Neil placed Shots as the last song on Re-ac-tor so as to insure that we'd wind up terrified and exhausted, wondering what all the giggling was about early on. Neil Young: he's always messing with you.

And we can't talk about the great elements of this record without making note of the packaging. Neil famously ditched Reprise Records after Re-ac-tor, citing frustrations about how they were failing to market him. I don't know what the hell he was complaining about: Re-ac-tor, and the equally hodgepodge and brilliant record that preceded it, Hawks and Doves, are both beautifully packaged, and that packaging seems focused solely on pleasing Neil (and, thereby, his most hardcore fans).

Surely no one in the art department talked him into putting the serenity prayer on the back cover but translating it into Latin; surely no one other than Young wanted to issue the album's single as a triangle or add inexplicable hyphens to the title; rather, Reprise just did every whimsical thing Young could think of so as to keep him happy. And they made it all look good in the process.

And these efforts paid off in the marketplace: Re-ac-tor is by far the easiest record of Neil's to find used. Tons of people bought it (and tons have since ditched it). You can't complain about your record company if there are millions of once-purchased copies clogging up Dollar Bins 40 years later. That's on you.

But Reprise's whole Please Neil campaign didn't work as intended: he left anyway.

I got my own copy 30+ years ago as a "hey, do you want this piece of crap I found in my house?" gift from my mom's friend. We're gonna go slightly incognito here and not use real names because what follows will be read by my millions of followers and the family in question may not wish to become as famous as my famous brother. So we'll call the woman in question Jane Austen, after my favorite author, and we'll call her husband Stephen Stills, after everyone's least favorite musician.

Why Jane Austen owned Re-ac-tor to begin with is a complete mystery. She gave me After the Goldrush and Sergeant Pepper, both on tape, the first Christmas I announced that I was into music (I did not understand either album on any level at that point; what 12 year old would?) so she was obviously cool and she liked Neil Young. But when she pawned her entire small record collection off on me a few years later, Re-ac-tor was the only Young record. Otherwise it was a lot of Waylon Jennings (I've Always Been Crazy was in the haul; someone put that on my list of records to write about!) and Barbara Streisand. Imagine Re-ac-tor as your only Neil Young record! What was the deal?

I've got a theory. In 81 Jane had a young child and was probably pregnant with her second kid. And her husband, Stephen Stills, was the world's biggest nutjob; in fact, he was a lot like the real Stephen Stills: he never had a proper job, he was a minor (less so than Stills) celebrity who thought he was God's gift to everyone around him and his professional/creative projects were totally bonkers. In that last instance, I guess he was a lot more like Neil himself, who is probably busy flying down the highway as we speak in his new moon powered Hummer.

I also suspect Stephen was high for most of my childhood. That makes him like Neil and Stills. I enjoyed being around his crazed enthusiasm about everything (we played a lot of Nintendo's Duck Hunter together), except when he was shouting, ranting drunk.

"Stephen" was (again, very mildly) famous for two ludicrous reasons. I'm going to tell you both of them and then you are not going to believe me. But I am not making this stuff up!

Number one: Stephen was the alleged inventor of the wet t-shirt competition. As in, they did not exist until he got drunk enough to invent them. Whether he actually deserved this claim to fame is unclear. But people believed him.

Number two: he definitely owned a patent for the world's biggest zipper.

I told you that you would not believe me!

Back to the wet t-shirt part. Wikipedia backs Stephen's story up, maybe. There's a SoCal skiiing filmmaker, who is not Stephen, who claimed responsibility for the idea in the early 70's. Everything about that guy and his claim basically matches up with the stories I heard from Stephen as a kid; maybe he worked for the guy, or maybe he was on hand to lead the macho action? Who knows. You decide.

But by the 80's Stephen really did own a patent for a giant zipper - stop laughing! - and he had pretty well documented (at the time) plans to put an entire iceberg inside a giant plastic bag - I'm serious, stop laughing while reading my very serious blog! - zip the bag up, haul it to Saudi Arabia, and then sell it to the highest bidder. You can't make stuff like this up! I'm no internet sleuth but here's a starting point if you want to get into the whole bizarre concept.

Here's one more classic story about "Stephen Stills" which has absolutely nothing to do with Re-ac-tor: at some point my parents had to make an emergency trip to the hospital at night (maybe it was my sister's birth? my grandfather's death? maybe there were kidney stones involved?) and the only person they could think of to come over at a moment's notice with Stephen. Well he took a break from his late night zippering and hustled on over, then promptly fell asleep in their bed. I was three or four and I came up to their room in my childlike way at some point in the night with needs. My 78 year old mother still practically falls out of her own chair laughing every time she recalls what I reported to her when she got home the next day:

"Mom, last night when I came up to your bed you were snoring super loud and wouldn't wake up and dad wasn't there and you looked just like Stephen Stills!"

I remember Stephen periodically appearing in the LA Times for profiles about his whole wacko giant zipper plan. I remember at one point he paid someone to write an entire novel, or maybe it was a screenplay, about him and his zipper saving a future, water-starved planet Earth. I'm surprised Neil Young didn't buy the rights for his sequel to Human Highway.

Suffice it to say that "Stephen Stills" never hauled an iceberg anywhere. He eventually went broke and became legitimately nuts. Happily, "Jane Austen" eventually dumped him. Maybe she did so because the zipper thing was going nowhere; maybe she did so because when she was nine months pregnant he brought home a copy of Re-ac-tor while, lit up a big doobie and then dropped the needle on Opera Star...

... Some things never change;

They say the way they are.

You were born to rock;

You'll never be an Opera Star...

[no-not-without-you-blog]

Whumptember 25th: Nightmare

Warnings: Language, Slight Canon Retconing (Fuck Endgame)

Prompt by @comfortcap Graphics by @firefly-graphics

The four of you walked out of the theater in complete silence. You walked down the road for a while and then went into your favorite diner. You settled into a booth with Bucky sitting beside you and Sam and Valerie, his girlfriend, on the opposite side. You all sat there for a moment, not saying anything until all of the sudden you all busted out laughing. Bucky was laughing so hard that he was crying, Sam coughing from laughing so much. Whenever there was a calm in the laughter, you would all bust out laughing again. 

“I can’t believe we paid money to see that.” You said while taking a drink of your drink, hoping to calm down some. 

Bucky wiped the tears from his eyes. “They tried to give us tickets to the premiere and be a part of all the promo for it. I’m so glad we said no. Could you imagine? It would have been an absolute nightmare.” He busted out laughing again.

“Please tell me you recorded that whole thing.” Sam asked you. 

“Yes. Me and Val got it all, whether you can hear it at all over the two of you snickering the whole time is a different question.”

Bucky just shook his head. “We couldn’t help it. It was awful. They made Steve out to be some sort of goody two-shoes who was just so Star Spangled Awesome. They conveniently left out all the times he was a right bastard.” You all giggled at his statement, thinking about all the times Steve was anything but some glorified hero.

The waitress came by and collected your orders. Once she was gone Sam looked up at you. “Are you going to send it to him?” 

“Um, abso-fuckin-lutely. Why do you think we recorded it?” You and Bucky laughed again. Sam chuckled but Val seemed confused.

“Wait, who are you sending it to?”

You all three looked at her confused but Sam was the one to speak up. “Steve…who else?”

She seemed even more confused. “But I thought Steve went back to Peggy. Didn’t he?”

You all laughed loudly again and Bucky was the one to answer her. “God, no. Did he go see her in the past? Yeah. He remembered how she had always wished they could have gotten their dance. But she was happily married and he had moved on years before. It would have been insane for him to stay in the past.” 

“So…where is he then? I mean, don’t get me wrong sweetheart, I love that you’re Captain America now, but where the hell is Steve?”

You spoke up now. “In Montana. He bought about 100 Acres up there years ago. He’s been building a house up there for the past year or so. It’s really nice. Bucky and I are going out there in a few months to spend some time away. He seems really at peace finally.” 

“Wait, really? Steve’s just out there living his best lumberjack life?” Val was so taken aback by that. 

“Yeah. But don’t tell anyone. We don’t need any Cap die-hards roaming the wilds of Montana trying to find him.” Bucky laughed. “Besides, I hear he’s got a girl these days.”

“Yeah, America’s Golden Bachelor isn’t so alone anymore.” You added.

“I’m sure she’s gonna get a kick out of the musical.” Bucky said.

“Oh man, you gotta record his reaction to that nightmare of a show.” Sam begged you and you laughed. “And her reaction. I can just see the blush on him now.”

You all laughed as your food got delivered. Yes, the musical may have been a nightmare, but the night in general had been great. Spending time with friends and having a great laugh was just what you had needed.

Taglist:

@annasrefuge @chrisevansdaughter 

[agena87]

Morgan: So that's where you were hiding. Everyone is looking for you. Wolfgang: Yeah. Sure. Everyone. And I'm not hiding. M: Really? Could have fooled me. W: How did you find me? M: Lucas and Max saw you. W: Little shits. Couldn't keep their mouth shut. M: I paid 'em with sweets. And you say you're not hiding. W: I'm not. I just need space. And silence. M: Tough! Did something happen? Kiyoshi was looking for you, by the way, which: weird. W: Shit. He's gonna kill me. M: He actually seemed calm, for once. Wait, kill you? What the fuck happened?! W: Nothing. M: Wolf, we've known each other since we were three, you know you can tell me anything. W: *sighs* I may have made a huge mistake. M: What did you do? W: Nothing! Not at first... Al... Al kissed me! M: OK, it's not so bad. But yeah, Kiyoshi will kill you. W: I know. And... yes, it's bad. We... We fucked. M: Wolf! Then why are you sad? That's what you've wanted for God knows how long! And good for Alfie to finally seeing that there are better romantic options out there than Kiyoshi. I mean, he's my friend, but he's a total asshole when it comes to Alfie. W: He doesn't want to see me again. Al, I mean. He sent me a text, telling me we should stop being friends. M: What? Are you OK? Forget it, of course you're not. And what is Alfie thinking? W: He's probably ashamed. I would if I was him. Who would want someone like me? M: Wolf... You're awesome, anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. I know I am. W: ... M: And for the record, I'm pretty sure Alfie has feelings for you. W: And I'm pretty sure you're crazy. Mo... I... I really love him. M: I know. W: What do I do? M: I don't know. But you could start by stopping hiding. Except, maybe from Kiyoshi. You should definitively avoid him 'til the end of times. If he knows what happens, you're dead. And since he was looking for you, I guess he knows. W: Nice having known you, Fyres. M: You too, Munch.

[kchasm]

Ryu Number: Owen Garriott

Owen Garriott was an American astronaut who spent approximately two months in Skylab 3, taking—at the time—the shared world record for longest spaceflight (it'd be broken less than half a year later, but that's still awesome). More relevantly for us (i.e. those of us interested in Ryu Numbers), he was the father of Richard Garriott, the creator of the Ultima game series, so it's no surprise that the latter stuck a cameo of the former in Ultima II: The Revenge of the Enchantress:

That's the finish line. The problem, as always, is getting there.

It's generally accepted that each Ultima game features the same individual as protagonist—that is, that the same repeat isekaiee stars in each major installment of the series. Assuming that this is true, and that this protagonist—referred to by lore as "The Stranger" or "The Avatar"—is the same dude whichever game they're in, Owen Garriott has a Ryu Number of at most 4.

That said, early installments of the Ultima series were a bit iffy on whether the protagonist was the same individual game to game, so maybe you're iffy, too. Fair enough! You can still get a Ryu Number of at most 4 for Owen Garriott following an alternate route.

Apologies if you're learning it just now, but there's a fighting game where you can have Santa Claus and the Buddha duke it out. It's on Steam. Jesus is there, too, but Santa Claus seemed funnier.

Oh, and apparently the Buddha is in some versions of Ultima IV. You know he's the Buddha because when you talk to him he says, "I am Buddha," and says stuff at you from the Dharmapada. Which may seem odd, but if I had a list of historical or public domain individuals I wouldn't be too surprised by seeing after getting isekaied to another world, the Buddha would be up there. That's so Buddha!

"But my guy," says the imaginary version of you I've built up in my head without actually knowing you, "'Buddha' is a title. This Britannian dude could be any old Buddha! The Theravadas acknowledge twenty-nine of them, and they're on the stingy end!"

To which I say: Come on, my dude, you know that whenever anyone west of the prime meridian says "Buddha" they're talking about Gautama. Are you really gonna make me do this?

Fine.

Yes, Short Round is also in Ultima IV.

(Bonus: Non-Minecraft routes:)

[mlobsters]

supernatural s5e21 two minutes to midnight (w. sera gamble)

what is this, nickelodeon? neon green slime, come on.

DEAN You can't do this.

SAM That's the consensus.

DEAN All right. Awesome. Then, end of discussion.

what a way to deflect. "that's the consensus"

CASTIEL You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.

good talk, bro

DR. GREEN You mean my brothers. What they did to my brothers. No. The only reasonable thing to do here is to...take it out of their healthy young asses.

i... what lol

both sam and dean's hair looks weird. dean's too dark, sam's is... sitting funny and looking different. maybe just funky lighting

PESTILENCE So, you've got to wonder why God pours all his love into something so messy... and weak. It's ridiculous.

i mean, i don't think god is pouring anything at the moment

SAM Did you kiss him?

DEAN Sam!

SAM Just wondering.

cute. totally could have dropped it there. but i guess they hadn't made something awkward and embarrassing in a while, quota to fill

CROWLEY You kill demons. Gigantor over there has a temper issue about it.

things you thought were just fanon. crowley's got a bit of a complex

SAM You, Bobby, Cas ... I'm the least of any of you.

DEAN Oh, Sam.

SAM No, it's true. It is. But ... I'm also all we got.

just the frank and earnest belief that he's not good. oof.

CROWLEY You two are lucky you have your looks. Your demon lover, Brady? 

just read a fic like that lol

this interlude introducing big d death, really featuring the song. they haven't used much of the classic rock persuasion this season. some interesting tidbits about the o, death song

(wiki)

CW senior VP and creative executive Chris Donovan, decided that using the old spiritual "O Death" (heard in "Brother Where Art Thou") fit well with the themes of Season 5. He contacted Jennifer Titus, a well-known name around the CW, about singing the song. She recorded a preview of the song on her iPhone and sent it to him.

Donovan was extremely impressed, and upon a slight re-write of the lyrics to fit the show better, Titus came into the studio and recorded the official version. CW Staff members recorded the humming heard in the song, and Leonard Richardson, the executive in charge of music on the CW, mixed the track. Source.

i'm not surprised but also side eye at crowley "fixing" bobby

DEAN God? You'll reap God?

DEATH Oh, yes. God will die, too, Dean.

DEAN Well, this is way above my pay grade.

DEATH Just a bit.

liked this conversation and turn of events

the umbrella academy s3 julian richings as chet rodo

DEAN What do you think Death does to people who lie to his face?

BOBBY Nothing good.

DEAN Yeah.

BOBBY What'd you say?

DEAN That I was cool with Sam driving the bus on the whole Lucifer plan.

so i hate to say it, but man sometimes i think they're asking jim beaver more than he can deliver with bobby. like he was so clearly trying to have some sort of revelation in the warehouse when sam was evacuating the humans, but it was so. over the top. and still not really clear was his deal was. it was strange. but things often feel sort of forced with him and this character, to me.

BOBBY So I got to ask, Dean. What exactly are you afraid of? Losing? Or losing your brother?

he only went to hell already to save sam, what kind of question is that bobby :p i know this was just for the show's sake and i hate to bring reality into it but anyone is gonna be freaked out about their sibling killing themselves even if it's for the greater good.

sidenote i also appreciate that the captions on netflix use Cass for cas, because that is totally how they pronounce it and along with my pronunciation surprises over castiel and alastair i also was not expecting cas to be said like that. cas would with regular english rules be ending in a more z sound! don't be afraid of the more feminine spelling lol

[keplercryptids]

If you'd like to talk about it, your recent post about the genie arc you and your dnd group just finished has me really curious to hear more about it! Its sounds like it was so cool, and it's always awesome to hear about narratives where characters get to travel all over the world- especially since i know that yours is homebrew.

yes omg thank you, there's nothing i'd rather do than talk about the genie communities of my dnd game.

the party began this arc in halkifell, the hometown of an npc friend named mahety. halkifell is home to ifrit and their fire genasi kids, located on the top of a volcano (which is also a portal to the elemental plane of fire). at birth, mahety was chosen by the volcano to be the next leader of her people. she was actually out in the world before now as part of her self-discovery journey before stepping up to the leadership position officially. the time to do that is now, for many reasons, which means she has to stay in halkifell, on the other side of the continent from where the party (including her PC gf) have their home base.

so mahety's dad, an ifriti named temza, suggested the party go to the other genie communities to collect spell components in order to create a teleportation circle in halkifell. this makes it so (eventually) mahety and the party can visit each other at their leisure. temza was vague about where they needed to go and what exactly the spell components were, because that was all part of the journey (which would be important to the spell later). they were told to get:

A binding from the dao, an iron link; Salt from the marid, in liquid sync; A yielding from the djinn, a burden's drink.

and they were given general directions and landmarks to follow. the marid could be found submerged in the ocean to the north, at a distance of "a sunrise as the dolphin swims." the djinn could be found to the southeast in the desert, after "following the eye of the storm for one moonrise." the dao were located in the mountain range to the southwest, at "the top of the peak that looks like a bird."

i'm gonna put the rest under a readmore because uhhh. believe it or not, this got even longer lmao.

also, just as a note. genies in my world are beings made out of elemental magic + something i am abstractly referring to as Story Magic. mechanically, this means the ifrit, marid, dao and djinn are big ol' elemental bards, lol. narratively, each genie society has specific values and traditions when it comes to stories, which you can read more about here.

so the party traveled north and went into the ocean to find the marid (story value: listening to stories), who were NOT thrilled to meet the party. they had a tense encounter where they had to tell stories based on marid tradition. the trick was for the PCs to tell the marid sad stories, but they only learned that through the minigame i designed (which you can read more about here). the spell component they needed was the marid's tears (salt in liquid sync!), which calcified into pearls.

then they went to see the djinn (story value: story making), who were located on a massive cloud trapped within a cylindrical sandstorm. the storm was unnatural, caused by a djinni that had lost themself in storymaking (something that can happen to djinn if they're not careful). after proving themselves to be protagonist material, the party reenacted the story that the djinni was trapped in, in order to snap them out of it. the spell component was the djinni's sweat (a yielding! a burden’s drink!), which calcified into fulgurite (a kind of rock that forms when sand is struck by lightning, look it up, it looks cool!).

finally, the party went to see the dao (story value: recording stories). at this point, the players had correctly deduced that they needed the dao's blood (an iron link; plus: blood, sweat and tears) but the problem was the dao do NOT share their blood with anyone. dao blood has immutable properties when combined with material plane stuff, and making earthly things permanent goes against the dao's creed.

i should have mentioned before now that different kinds of genasi have unique relationships with each genie community, and the earth genasi had ostracized themselves. they wanted to be more dao, but the dao wanted them to be patient etc etc etc. one of the genasi wanted to do a risky spell to become a dao, which backfired and he kind of lost himself. so one PC, saube, underwent a daoist carving/tattoo ritual to connect herself to the earth, where she was able to use the genasi's blood as part of the tattoo and also take some back to halkifell. this all sounds complicated when summarized like this lmao, but just trust me that it was beautiful and special and now saube is literally connected to the land of halkifell, where her gf lives and where she will live, eventually.

OKAY SO. the party got back to halkifell, and the last component / part of the spell was for them to tell their story to mahety. the ifrit story value is storytelling, and the telling of the story created the teleportation circle that will link mahety to where they are, forever. it was beautiful!!! it was a good arc actually!!!

[paramorearchived]

January 9, 2011

Transcript:

small talk

hey guys,

i haven't wanted to come back here for a long time. so much has been going on with us personally that it's felt wrong to try and come in here and make it all even more complicated by putting too many feelings into it. this was always a place where i could come and vent or try to motivate myself by reading what you have to say. cause most of you are far more inspiring than even you are ever going to know. but to be quite honest, there are some seasons in life where you don't even want to feel inspired. it's just sad and it feels almost better that way. then, on the other hand, there are some people here who have no intention of being supportive. there are some of you who'd rather search until you find something you can pull apart. and in a time where our band is seeming most vulnerable, you flourish. i'm not really sure anymore if this is a place where our band is supported or just speculated upon. the funny part is, this is the place - the group of people - who i talk about most when i talk to friends about Paramore. or when someone asks me about our fans. 99.9% of the time, you guys are the ones that i think about when i think about playing shows, or traveling the world. maybe it's just because some of you have been with us since day #1. and even though some of the negative stuff here makes me wanna throw a child over a waterfall (ok, that's harsh), the positive stuff USUALLY trumps all of that. i'm not saying i don't have bad days. i do let some of you here get to me. but hey, that's pretty human, i think.

okay, so here we are. 

what a world we live in... i mean, damn! i thought for a second i was going to have to hang myself in the public square downtown! kidding. duh. but really, have you all seen Easy A? first of all, what a great movie. but second, so relatable. not in a sense that we are all lying about losing our v-cards and then making money off of it and somehow having fake chlamydia. no, i mostly mean the fact that we ALL know how quickly rumors can spread. i feel so sorry for our generation when i watch movies like ferris bueller's day off - a payphone in the school?! really?! come on. with the internet, the whole world is just playing one huge game of telephone. i've STILL got folks asking me why Paramore is breaking up. it's sort of laughable at this point. i can't just keep answering those questions, right? you can't prove hardly anything to anyone. you just have to show them. actions > words. it will always be that way. 

but speaking of us not going anywhere. i need to say thank you. for all three of us. taylor and jeremy and i literally can't believe how much support we've gotten. you can't imagine how motivating it is. we have so many things to look forward to this year. some of which we can't even hint at cause it would totally jinx it. but we can talk about writing, right? (yes) 

we've got 2 songs in the works thus far! they are rockin. taylor is doing such an awesome job with the demos. jeremy and i have yet to go over and see his home studio... i think i'm gonna do that later today. it's just crazy that we are already getting into this process. i'm not sure if this is the exact process that will lead us to make a record but it will certain lead us to releasing songs in some way. in either case, it's bringing all of us closer together. i've never felt like this in our band before. that's weird and sad to be honest about; and it's all i want to say about that. 

the three of us are trying to be creative about how we can get involved more with you guys. sort of a means of "putting down roots" all over again. with that, we want to be more interactive with the fan club - especially since there are not a whole lot of tour dates booked. but that's just one of the things we'd like to "fix". again, actions > words. we have a lot to do! 

hope this wasn't too sappy, or too anything. it's been a while since i've been here, i might be a little rusty. i can't promise that i'll come in all the time like i used to. but i do promise that we notice the people here who are still trying to make this place somewhere that people can come in and feel supported. we appreciate you. 

miss the road and seeing your faces in person.  love Hayley

ps. oh! there is something that i did want to clear up that never got cleared up before. the "statement letter" posted on .net from the band, was actually written by all of us. over the phone. it wasn't just me. phew! that feels good to say.