#Source: John Mulaney

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Yelena, after becoming friends with everyone: This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.

[incorrectuntamedmodaozushiquotes]

Wei Wuxian: *picks up an antique bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume? Drunk!Lan Wangji: *chugs entire bottle* Drunk!Lan Wangji: It’s perfume.

[fabuloustrash05]

Vegeta, holding up a fancy glass bottle he found with Bulma’s stuff: Is this whiskey or perfume? Goku: *grabs the bottle and drinks all of it* Goku: It’s perfume.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Dahlia [holding an antique bottle]: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Venti: [grabs the bottle and chugs the whole thing]

Venti: It's perfume.

[incorrect-tokyodebunker]

MC: I found this bottle in Romeo's room, is this supposed to be whiskey or perfume?

Taiga: [grabs the bottle, downs the whole thing]

Taiga: It's perfume.

[you-askedforthis]

“My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.” - Peeta Mellark probably.

[emmikay]

Odysseus: I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife’s a bitch and I don’t like her. That’s not true. 

Odysseus: My wife’s a bitch, and I like her so much! 

Odysseus: She’s a dynamite, lying, half-naiad bitch and she’s the best!

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Soldier: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Demoman: *chugs entire bottle*

Demoman: It’s perfume.

Demo: T'was good. Any more?

[howfrightening]

Trevor: I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her, that is not true!

Trevor: My wife is a bitch and I like her so much!

[ladyinrosso]

HAZBIN HOTEL incorrect quotes: 12/

source x

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Yelena: [holding an antique bottle with some liquid in it] Is this whiskey or perfume?

Alexei: [grabs and chugs the entire bottle] It's perfume.

[chronic-hyperfixator]

Charles: Also I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. That is not true. My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.

[incorrectgliyeraba]

[professor!Elphaba, architectural designer!Glinda au] Glinda: We're not so different, you and I. Glinda: You with your historical documents... Glinda: And me with my markers.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Scara [pointing to his chest]: I'll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I'll die.

[the2fort9]

Soldier: "Sometimes Spy says 'What do you think you're doing?', but that just means 'Stop'. He doesn't actually want to know my thought process."

[jenniferjareauprotector]

Liir: a lot of guys my age will say "I think I'm becoming more like my dad."

Liir: I think I'm becoming more like my mom.

Liir: The other day, I was walking around Kiamo Ko, just brooding and mumbling to myself.

Liir: that's pure mom