#That could just mean nobody said it because it's bullshit please tell me if it's bullshit I don't know how to read the room

[haphazardcorvid]

I don't usually post anything about qsmp (or post at all because I have difficulties with communicating myself online, so if the tone or wording is weird or off-putting, I apologise) but I kinda wanted to share some thoughts on how the Meta unintentionally affects the rp, especially in the case of members going missing.

(Also this will be Long. I'm sorry. Concise writing is a gift I do not possess.)

This isn't like, the fault of the members or storyline, but I think it what inevitably happens on a server where RP and planned character lore blur with complete casual play where it's just... Real people interacting. This isn't even really criticism, just observation, because there's really no blame or fixable issue. Nobody is at fault, it's simply A Thing That Can Happen, especially when the server prides itself on spontaneity and leaving the characters AND creators in the dark (which is a thing that overall makes the qsmp really exciting) about the larger lore and other characters lore.

The Meta of real life can really influence the rp reactions, however unintentionally, and I'm mostly noting it in the case of characters going missing. For what I think is the best example, when q!Baghera was missing for AGES, I genuinely think there should have been a much bigger in-character server reaction than the one we saw? Especially considering how active she is and her wide array of friends and family. (Correct me if you saw otherwise, it just seemed more minimal from my non-french speaking pov, maybe I'm wrong).

The issue seems to stem from the creators themselves knowing that the other creator is simply on hiatus because of real life things, and that bleeds into the rp unintentionally, especially when their character didn't see the missing one actually go missing. It felt similar with Jaiden, but also less so, because she wasn't as active as Baghera and wouldn't be interactive for long periods after Bobby's death. She's still a good example though.

So the characters don't know where their friend is or even if they're not around for a bad reason, but the players know the fellow player is doing Stuff and can't come online, and it seems to muddle the rp reaction. Probably because it's not heavy scripted RP - they react blindly to events and often their characters are just extensions of themselves. (Tbh it didn't help with q!Baghera that they just got new people, and then the eggs disappeared, so all other thoughts just flew out the window). I just wish she'd gotten a stronger reaction, and genuinely think real life meta affected that. Like with some perspectives (q!Phil, for example) it was hard to know she was actually Missing missing (nobody mentioned it).

I think this is inevitable when the approach to rp is more heavily Reacting rather than Acting (there's acting too, but qsmp scripting seems to act more like guidelines than dictated interactions). It pops up a lot - when Etoiles was in America (tbf his character is more Lone Wolf, Mr 200k), Jaiden, etc. Then, because that person physically can't come online in real life, and there's often zero clues or puzzles about their whereabouts, it flatlines or peters out until their return because nobody can do anything and their characters don't know anything (often the creators too, it seems, because everyone is very averse to metagaming for good reasons). The casual side of gameplay means it becomes just people waiting for their friend to be available again.

On a funny note, you can get around some of this the Pac Mike way, by simply being kidnapped/vamoosed directly in front of your loved ones/friends. Instant Oh Shit reactions, the possibility for extending angst (q!Pac you sad angsty legend) the whole shebang - although you can still get the side effect of characters seeming to care less too fast, because it blurs with the players just comfortably waiting for their friend to come back from hiatus. In fact, it seems the best way to get a reaction from a Missing storyline is to vanish in front of someone, or leave breadcrumbs before or after the event. The Brazilians do that super well.

This meta bleed could also go the opposite way, which is why I'm so curious about q!Fit and q!Tubbo noticing q!Phil's disappearance. In that case it might mean they notice he's gone (in rp) unnaturally quickly, because they know his schedule of streaming and the fact that he's not going away in real life this week, and that he was most likely going to stream on monday, which could tip them off, but isn't necessarily an in character reason. There are other in rp explanations - he tells them whenever he's going away, they've antagonised the feds, he said he'd be around, etc - but I'm curious about the Meta, because realising today would be very fast. It's why I think it would be good if there were more breadcrumbs left so it isn't so affected by real life (because they could also lean the other way and ignore it too much because of metagaming). Hints or something of that ilk.

There's also the matter of scripting. Like I know Phil and Forever have been messaging about lore to ensure rp etiquette isn't broken and they get to do all the ideas they have planned. It does turn reacting into acting, but eh, I think a good balance of both is necessary, as much as we the audience love genuine shock and discovery. The creators absolutely plan things behind the scenes, and maybe Baghera didn't put so much weight on the rp reactions to her being gone? I don't know their minds, so I can't speculate. Doesn't change what I think about the Meta affecting it though.

I dunno. This is just one long ramble, because I was disappointed in the more lacking reactions to long absences, especially in the case of Baghera, and wanted to dissect one of the things I think is influencing it. I could just be chatting rubbish. It's not a blame game of 'oh they're doing this wrong' but genuinely something I find interesting. I love the server and the way we react to discoveries WITH the creators themselves, not just the characters, it's just an interesting thought. I just wish there had been more storyline connected to other ccs about Baghera being missing, because her lore is SO good. I wanted the Angst, goddamit.

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Seven — Azriel x Reader

Note: I hope you enjoy this part because I’m not overly happy with how it’s written, I don’t know why 😭probably just me being a DUMBASS. Also, it’s still not letting me tag some of you 😩anyone know why?

Summary: The Bat Boys are worried about reader. Cassian’s getting a little suspicious of Kaeda. Azriel is really, really missing his friend.

Word count: 7k.

Warnings: Some injury detail.

“He cannot do this. Surely, he cannot fucking do this.”

Azriel slams his fist on the table so hard that ale sloshes over the lip of a mug. The atmosphere in the mead hall is unusually calm tonight. There’s more laughter than arguing, and some dickhead with a lute is even providing the attendants with music. But at the centre table, a cloud of doom darkens the mood.

Everyone has wisely given Rhys, Cassian and Azriel a wide berth.

Tensions are high. Something’s got to give.

“His role in this camp is to oversee our training.” Az balls his fists. “Not to get involved with how we spend our time outside of it.” He eyes Cass and Rhys opposite him. “Right?”

“Technically, yes.” Rhys confirms. “But as the overseer of said training, he also has the authority to remove any distractions as he sees fit.”

“Distractions? She’s our friend, not a fucking toy—”

“I’m just putting it to you straight, Az. It’s the typical Illyrian attitude rearing its ugly head. All four of us made the decision to go to Fenlaros, and yet it’s the female who shoulders the blame.”

“It’s fucking ridiculous.” Cassian finally speaks up.

He hasn’t said much. Too busy thinking about last night.

Nobody knows a thing about that wild, impulsive fuck except him and Y/N. He plans to keep it that way. Not out of any sense of regret, but…he doesn’t know. His brain is ticking over.

He can’t help wondering something that’s never occurred to him before.

Is Y/N branded a certain way by Illyrian ideologies because the closest people to her are males? Has she unfairly gained a reputation — one that would be made worse if what she and Cassian had done became common knowledge?

He doesn’t want to be the reason she gets more shit thrown her way. He’s starting to think he should think harder before he acts. Maybe last night was a mistake. He can’t even see Y/N to talk it through with her.

“So what do we do?” Az is asking as Cass zones back in. “There’s got to be something. Do we take the matter to your father?”

Rhys cocks an eyebrow. “Be real for a second, Az. My father would laugh us out of Velaris. He doesn’t concern himself with trivial camp matters.”

“Y/N having to choose between an abusive household or perishing in the snow is not a trivial matter.”

“To him, it is. He’d tell Devlon to lead and do what he believes is right. Which, he already has, even if we don’t agree with it.”

“Well that’s bullshit. We can’t just lie down and do nothing—”

“I’m not saying that, Az—”

“What about your mother? She adores Y/N. Surely she could appeal to your father—”

“No. She’s pregnant. She stays out of this.”

“Then what do you suggest, Rhysand?”

“How about you start by explaining to Cass and I what’s gotten into you recently?”

Finally, Az has nothing to say. He goes silent. Still.

He stares back at his two friends like he can’t imagine why they would wonder such a thing.

And then he purses his lips. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Cassian scoffs. “Please. Even I think you starting fights left and right has been extreme.”

“Fuck you. You’re totally exaggerating.”

Rhysand raises an eyebrow. “If you say so.”

“I do.”

“We’re just worried that your behaviour has changed since Kaeda came into the picture—”

“You know what I’m worried about?” Az snaps. “Our friend who is literally homeless as of this morning. That’s a little more important, don’t you think?”

Yes…and no. It’s not that Cassian and Rhys don’t agree. It’s just that…that all roads lead back to Kaeda. And that’s becoming a problem.

“We’re not just going to leave Y/N to deal with this alone, Az.” Rhys tells him. “We just need to be careful about how we deal with it. Devlon isn’t messing around. I don’t want us to cause her more trouble.”

As folds his arms. “So what do you suggest?”

“I’ll talk to Y/N’s friend — Vegha. I’m sure she can open her home to Y/N while we figure things out. Just don’t do anything impulsive or stupid.”

That seems to appease Az a little. He sits back in his chair — allows himself to be a bit more open.

Until Cass totally fucking ruins it and says, “And don’t go starting any more fights just to impress Kaeda.”

Az says again, “Fuck you.”

Cass returns a withering look. “Fuck you right back.”

“Productive.” Rhys comments, shaking his head. He pushes to his feet, and both his friends look round.

“Where are you going?” Az asks.

“To speak with Vegha.” Rhys tells him. “And don’t follow me. You two idiots will only make things worse.”

He has no idea how right he is.

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It starts with the fire going out. Always.

The door swings open hard enough to hit the wall, and freezing air envelops the place. Your father tracks snow into the house, and he smells so strongly of booze that it permeates the room and spreads like a sickness.

You are five years old. You like to draw things in the soot that coats the fireplace. You don’t like green apples, but red ones aren’t so bad. The house always feels untidy since mama stole away in the dead of night a year ago. You try to keep on top of the cleaning, but the damp and the cold makes your hands sore, your bones ache.

Every night, you sit with your hands in your lap and wait for your father to return home. If he’s coming back from the forge, he’s tired and in a bad mood. If he’s coming back from the mead hall or a tavern, he’s drunk and in a really bad mood.

Tonight is the latter. But not only is he drunk and in a bad mood — he’s also brought company.

Four other males. They’re all huge — too huge to fit into the house, you think. If they’ve come for food, there isn’t any. If they’ve come for comfort, there isn’t any of that, either.

But they’re looking at you, all four of them. And in some way, you know that it’s you they’ve come for.

“This is the one?” A male with reddish-brown hair asks.

“I have only one.” Your father answers, and he jerks a chin in your direction. “That is it.”

It.

“Scrawny. There’s barely anything of her.” A second male comments. “This won’t be difficult.”

“I always think that,” reddish-brown answers, “and then they start fighting back. Kicking and scratching.”

You may only be five, but you are not foolish. Something is very, very wrong. A sinister wave has swept your already-miserable home, and you are about to be swallowed up in it. You eye the four males with wide eyes and scoot back a little.

Reddish-brown is the leader. He folds his arms with an authoritative air and announces, “Pathorn and Yevmael can hold her down,” he turns to the second male, “you take one wing, and I’ll take the other.”

The male that steps towards you from the back has eyes as black as the soot in the hearth. His lips twitch up on one side, and he says, “Come here, then, little pup.”

You do not move.

“Come.” He repeats. “It won’t hurt…much.”

They laugh at that.

You tuck your dirty, bruised knees tightly into your chest and rest your chin atop of them. You say nothing, make no move.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” His friend at the back says, stalking over to you. “Just pick her up.”

He does exactly that — by the scruff of your neck. You yelp as he yanks you into the air, and on instinct, your arms are flailing, legs kicking, tiny wings flaring.

“Look at that.” Charcoal eyes sneers at those very wings. “It’s a fucking abomination.”

If this is a game, you don’t like it. You twist in the male’s grasp, try to wriggle free, and he growls a curse at you. You growl back — a fierce, fierce noise, you think. It makes the males laugh again.

“On the table.” Reddish-brown says. “Face-down.”

“Papa,” you fight, “papa, papa, papa.”

There comes no response. It’s then that you realise he’s removed himself from the room. Left you with these monsters.

“Quiet now, pup.” Charcoal eyes says. “This won’t take long.”

You want to scratch him, and you try, even though your nails are chewed and bitten, despite mama always telling you not to do that. But mama isn’t here now and neither is papa. It’s just strangers with angry faces. Strangers who want to hurt you.

You’re slammed down onto the table, and you let out a cry. Someone holds your legs down. Another person holds your arms.

You are five years old. You like to draw pictures in the soot that covers the fireplace. You don’t like green apples, but red ones aren’t so bad. You are utterly and totally alone.

“I hope you never thought about flying.” Reddish-brown steps up to you. “That day will never come.”

And then they begin hacking at your wings.

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Your father takes you to a healer only when it’s almost too late. A fever scorches you head to toe. You think that mama returns to sit by your bedside, but that isn’t real. It’s a dream.

You’re too weak. You sleep fitfully on your front, because trembles wrack your body that continuously wake you up. You jerk every time the pain at your back gets too much.

The door opens, and you wonder if mama is returning again. You like that dream. But it’s your father, accompanied by the male who has been leaning over your weakened body for days.

“Will she live?” Your father asks.

“She will.” The healer tells him. “If she can fight off the infection.”

“Can’t you just give her a tonic, or something?”

“This is the worst wing clipping I have ever seen. There are ample healers in Illyria who are qualified to carry out the practice. What possessed you to instead leave her in the hands of a group of soldiers?”

“I will do with my child as I see fit.”

“You may no longer have a child, if she cannot fight this. Her life hangs in the balance.”

Your father makes a noise that sounds like a growl. He does that when you’re in his way, and he just wants to sit quietly without you lingering around him. “Give her a fucking tonic—”

“If she survives this,” the healer tells him, “she will be scarred and in pain for the rest of her life. You did not merely clip her wings. You butchered them. This is precisely why a healer should be the one to perform the procedure—”

Your body jerks with a fresh wave of pain, and you whimper. Both your father and the healer look over at you.

Your father’s lip curls, and he turns to the male once more. “Fix her.” He commands. “Because if you can’t, you’re helping me bury the body.”

No. The males will come back and put their hands on you again. They’ll bury a body. They’ll bury your body. They’re going to bury you. Soil will fall on your ruined wings, and when mama truly does come back, she’ll have only an unmarked grave to greet you at.

You try to move, but you’re strapped down. You whimper again.

Bury the body.

Bury the body.

Bury the—

Your body lurches up.

Sweat slicks your skin. You press a hand to your forehead, but it’s cool, not burdened by fever. You’ve awoken like this every morning for the past week.

The dreams are burdening you a lot right now. The memories.

They remind you, at least, why you will not return to your father’s home. Even if you end up hunching yourself up in doorways and exhausting any other dire options.

You hear a noise from the doorway, and you rub the bleariness from your eyes. Illuminated by the dim light in the hall, a male leans against the doorframe. He watches you nonchalantly, biting into an apple. Green, not red.

“You were shouting in your sleep again.”

You heave a deep, slow sigh and rake your fingers through your hair. Sweat soaks the strands.

“You dream often about burying bodies, don’t you?” The male steps into the room. He flares his wings, and you try not to look at them. “You’re quite odd. I think I like it.”

“Get out, Markis.” You sigh again. “Stop watching me sleep. It’s strange.”

“Is it more or less strange than chanting about burying a body?” He smirks. “And you’re in my house, remember? You can’t tell me to get out.”

“Yeah, well, it’s my house, too, and I can.” Suddenly, Vegha is appearing. She swats her younger brother, and a slither of relief settles into you. “Stop bugging her, Markis. Go to the training rings, or something.”

Markis so clearly doesn’t want to leave. He eyes you, his gaze falling from your neck, down to the old, threadbare sweater that you’ve been sleeping in. It’s Azriel’s — still smells like him.

The intensity of the male’s gaze is uncomfortable. And after a week of tolerating it, you’re not sure you can any longer.

“Fine.” He swallows down a bite of apple. He sends you a leering smirk. “I’ll tell your friends you said hello.”

Vegha rolls her eyes. “Markis, just leave before I boil your entire head—

“I’m going, I’m going.”

The male strides out of the room, shooting you one last look over his shoulder. You should ignore it, because the idiot is just basking in the novelty of having a female under his roof that he’s not related to, but the discomfort has sunk itself under your skin, and you’re not sure you can live with it.

Which is a bit of a problem, considering there are no other avenues for you to explore, and have nowhere else to go.

Vegha shuts the door behind her brother and turns to you. “You slept fitfully again.”

“Yes.” You feel a little bad admitting it. It’s not her, nor her family home, nor the bed that’s the problem. It’s you. All you. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“Of course, you do. I wish there was more I could do to help.”

“You’ve done more than enough, Vegha.”

She doesn’t look convinced. The worried streak in her eyes is an indicator of how terrible you look. And you know she’s just caring for you as your friend, but you can’t stand it. One more pitying glance may push you over the edge.

“I have to get to the crèche.” She tells you. “Can I get you anything before I leave?”

“No—thank you.” You sit up. “Listen…I won’t be here when you return home. I’m getting out of your hair today.”

She pauses. Studies you. “You’re not in my hair. You’re welcome to stay for as long as you need. Ignore Markis — he’s a cock.”

You breathe a soft laugh. But you can’t ignore Markis — not any longer. Just as you haven’t been able to ignore any of the males who have made the past week even more difficult than it already was.

Illyrian males are…are a sickness. They’re bred in violence and depravity. So few of them are good.

And if the past week without Azriel, Rhys and Cassian has taught you anything, it’s that to some degree, your exposure to such behaviours has always been muted, thanks to their protection. They’ve been a strong unit around you since you were eleven years old. Most males have been wise enough to steer clear and escape the wrath that would come down on them for messing with you.

But now you’re forbidden from seeing them, and you’re free game for any fucking male in this gods-forsaken place.

You need to be away from them. To be on your own.

“I know.” You answer Vegha. “And I appreciate you opening your home to me, I really do. But it’s fine — I’ve made other arrangements.”

The look she gives you is dubious. She doesn’t believe you, and rightfully so — it’s total bullshit. “You have?”

“I have.” You dip your chin. “I’ll be just fine.”

“…well I’m glad to hear it. You’ll come right back here if those plans fall through, right?”

“Of course I will.” No.

She hesitates at the door. She’s been nothing but kind and accommodating to you — a real friend.

But it’s bad enough not being able to escape the males that haunt your dreams. There’s a damn good reason for you staunchly refusing to return to your father. You will not swap one monster for another.

“I’ll see you soon, then.” Vegha studies you. There’s a sadness in her brown eyes. She genuinely cares. “Take care, Y/N.”

“I will.” You force a breezing smile. “And you, also.”

She inclines her head, and then she’s slipping out of the room. The silence only gives way for your too-near dreams to dig their claws in. You scrub your hands harshly over your face and push to your feet.

You don’t know where you’ll go. It’s tempting to ignore Lord Devlon’s warning and race back to the cottage. Drama may await you there — a total mess that you somewhat made for yourself — but at least you’d be warm and safe while facing it.

You can’t — you know you can’t. You don’t want Az or Cass or Rhys to face any consequences.

So after you get yourself ready and gather what little stuff you have, you head out into the snow and hope you won’t be sleeping in it that night.

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Azriel strikes at the sparring dummy as if it fucked his wife and stole his seat at the dinner table.

The damn things are supposed to be bolted to the ground, but a couple of bolts are no match against the fearsome shadowsinger.

He strikes and strikes until the object is more or less obliterated, because fuck the sparring dummy, that’s why. Fuck the sparring dummy, and fuck Lord Devlon, and fuck—

“I think you made your point.” A trilling voice cuts through his red mist of rage. “How about you set the sword down and have some water?”

Perhaps it’s just Azriel’s anger thinking for him, but he doesn’t feel that Kaeda has been particularly helpful from where she’s perched atop a smooth rock. She cleans her nails with the tip of a dagger and stretches her wings out around her.

Across the ring, Cassian watches and turns to Rhysand. “Why is she allowed to be here, but Y/N isn’t?”

Rhys shrugs his tense shoulders. He doesn’t know the answer.

The two of them step closer to where their brother is trying to breathe through his fury. He’s not coping so well.

See, Azriel has experience with missing things. He misses his mother all the time. Sometimes it’s a dull ache, manageable amongst the mundane comings and goings of life. Other times, it hurts so bad that he doesn’t think clawing his chest open would be too extreme a reaction. Missing a person is a sensation that knits itself under his skin and seeps into the marrow of his bones. It’s relentless and hideous.

Missing Y/N is a new kind of torture he never contemplated having to face.

It’s not just that he’s worried about where she is, whether or not she’s safe and well. It’s that he misses the silliest, tiniest things about her that he didn’t even know he’d ever noticed in the first damn place. The rapt determination with which she cuts the crusts off her bread because that’s a little too much bread for her. The way she gestures wildly with her hands whilst passionately talking about things. That ruined, tattered journal she carries around in which she scrawls blunt, one-sentenced, sometimes unintelligible thoughts. And her scent — gods, her scent.

It has been one week — an amount of time he’s spent away from her before. But it’s different this time. This isn’t like being away on a training exercise and knowing he’ll soon be coming home. He knows nothing. Doesn’t even know what to think, what to feel.

Other than an overt urge to murder the camp lord. Violently.

“How about we get done here and head to the mead hall?” Kaeda breaks through his warring thoughts. “I’m starved.”

Az grabs a nearby rag, wiping the sweat from his face. “Not really hungry.”

There’s a pause. And then a soft sigh leaves the female. She sheathes her blade and pushes to her feet, just as Rhys and Cassian are approaching. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, Azriel, but you can’t be visiting my father with this attitude.”

At once, this grabs the other two males’ interests, and Azriel wants to groan. Right. He’d forgotten about that.

“What’s this?” Rhys frowns, staring between Az and Kaeda. “You’re returning to Fenlaros?”

“My father invited Azriel to dine with us, that’s all.” Kaeda answers for him.

It had genuinely slipped Azriel’s mind. Amongst everything else waging war in his thoughts, a dinner with Kaeda’s family in Fenlaros had sunk right to the bottom.

But he knows immediately how it looks. That he’s being secretive.

Rhys studies Azriel closely. “And you’ve cleared this with Devlon?”

No, no he hadn’t. Quite simply, he’s not sure he can be within twenty feet of the bastard, right now, without throttling him.

He hates himself for it — he really, truly does. But for the sake of sparing himself a lecture, he shrugs. “I have.”

He does not lie to his brothers. And they can smell that lie on him right away.

Cassian stares at Kaeda for a long moment, before turning towards Az. “That is a fucking terrible idea, and you know it.”

“It’s dinner.” Kaeda shoots back.

Cass grits his teeth. “I’m talking to Azriel.”

“Listen, Cassian—”

“Excuse me—I’m sorry to interrupt.”

All four of them turn in the direction of the intrusion —and they stop short.

All three of the males know Vegha, of course. Rhys was grateful that she’d so willingly opened her home to Y/N when he’d asked. But other than that, they’ve only spoken to her in passing — she’s never had reason to seek them out before.

But what adds a slither of urgency to her rare appearance at the training rings is the even rarer appearance of the two little girls who hold her hands. They’re not supposed to be here, and Vegha knows this well.

She obviously deemed whatever this is urgent enough to bypass that rule.

“Vegha.” Azriel steps forward, studying her closely. “Is all well?”

Vegha shifts on her feet, clutching tighter onto the girls’ hands. She’s never comfortable here, around all these males, but it’s a different unwanted attention that makes her want to turn and leave.

Kaeda eyes her head to toe with a look of distaste. Of mistrust. She folds her arms and flares her wings — a gesture that has the little girls gasping.

“Settle down.” Vegha squeezes their hands. She directs her attention back to the males. Strange, that she feels more comfortable with them than she does with the only other female present. “Honestly, Azriel, I’m not at all sure.”

Rhys steps forward. “Is it Y/N?”

Cassian swears — swears — that a small sigh comes from behind him. From Kaeda.

“I know you’ve been instructed to stay away, and I don’t wish to cause you any trouble.” Vegha tells them. “It’s just…well, she was staying at my home this past week, as you asked, Rhysand. I told her she was welcome for as long as she needs — that she mustn’t return to her father’s house. But just this morning, she suddenly announced that she was leaving…that she’d found somewhere else to stay.”

“And?” The word slips from Kaeda’s lips.

Yeah, Cass definitely isn’t in the mood for this today.

“And…and I’m not sure I believe her.” Vegha shrugs slowly. “My brother wasn’t exactly making it a pleasant stay, and I think she was desperate to get out of there. But I can’t imagine where she’d go. I just…thought I should tell you. You know her better than I do.”

True — except her three closest friends can’t imagine where she’d go, either, if not back to her father’s house. And they can’t imagine her resorting to that.

She has no money for a room at an inn. She doesn’t have a long list of friends who will open their homes up to her. And she most certainly can’t go back to Rhys’s mother’s cottage.

So…where? Will she pitch up in one of the abandoned tents across the camp? Will she spend her nights shivering in doorways and wondering where her next meal is coming from?

This is fucking ridiculous.

She can’t be left to live like this.

“You did the right thing, telling us.” Rhys reassures Vegha. He offers a gentle, soft smile to the girls at her sides. “How about you take these two back into the warm? We’ll deal with it.”

Gods, he’s already a High Lord through and through. Calm in the face of turmoil. Not letting on to his inner panic.

Vegha dips her chin. “Sorry, again, for interrupting.” She tugs gently at the children’s’ hands. “Come, girls.”

Rhysand’s brow furrows. Vegha is perhaps the only other good friend Y/N has in this place. There’s no way she’s made other arrangements — Rhys knows it. Cassian knows it. Azriel knows it.

“We’ve got to do something.” Azriel voices what they’re all thinking, a feral panic colouring his tone. “We can’t just leave her to face this on her own. Fuck what Devlon says. I’m not sitting back and letting her freeze or starve to death.”

Rhys chews his lip. “…I can try to speak with my father. But I’m not hopeful where he’s concerned. This falls under Devlon’s jurisdiction.”

“All Y/N needs is a roof over her head and some food in her belly until we can work out what to do next.” Cassian crosses his arms over his chest. “There’s got to be some way we can help. Is there not any clue of where she might go?”

The two males are looking at Az expectantly. If anyone knows, it’s him.

But he’s just…he’s not had his eye on the ball recently. His thoughts are all over the place. Perhaps he’s neglected his friendships a little — because he could swear he knows Y/N inside and out, and yet his mind is blank. Utterly fucking blank.

“I—I need to think.” He runs a hand through his hair, turning — he stops at the flash of red hair that meets him. He’d forgotten Kaeda was even there.

She stares between them, saying nothing, her face pinched and arms crossed. What she’s thinking, Az isn’t sure. But a thought suddenly strikes him.

“Kaeda.” He faces her properly. “Can’t you house Y/N in Fenlaros for the time being? Until this is sorted?”

Kaeda stops short. Blinks at him. “…What?”

“It doesn’t have to be your home, or…or even anything extravagant. Just somewhere she can sleep. There are surely more options in Fenlaros than there are here.”

Kaeda does not like this one bit. A negative reaction is rippling off her in waves, and it hits Cassian like a blast of cold air. Rhys, too.

But Az seems oblivious.

“Azriel…” The female keeps her voice calm, measured. “You know it isn’t that easy. A person can’t just…defect to another camp.”

“She wouldn’t—”

“So what’s your excuse?” The words are falling from Cassian’s lips before he can stop himself. He’s not sure he cares.

Kaeda pauses. Her face is a sheet of wide-eyed innocence as she turns to him. “Pardon me?”

Cass shrugs one shoulder. “You’ve been buzzing around here for months like a fly. What’s your excuse, if that’s not allowed? Because your father may be Lord of Fenlaros, sweetheart, and he may let you do whatever you want, but look around you. This is Windhaven. His word doesn’t mean shit here.”

Azriel takes a step towards him. “Cassian—”

“Either help our friend, or stay the fuck out of it—”

“Cassian, that is enough—”

“It’s fine, Azriel.” Kaeda’s voice is so deceptively warm, you could melt butter on it. She steps towards Cassian, face open, hands held up in a placating manner. “It’s fine. You’re right. I understand you’re upset, and I…I apologise if my presence here has been burdensome. Of course I’ll help any way that I can. I’ll talk to my father right away.”

Cass doesn’t feel particularly satisfied by that. Doesn’t believe a fucking word, to be honest. His eyes communicate that as he stares the female up and down.

“Cass, I think you should apologise.” Azriel says.

He barks a laugh. “No chance.”

“Kaeda just said she’d help—”

“Enough.” Rhys finally jumps in. His tone is laced with authority — just a smidgen of an idea of what he might one day be like as High Lord. He crosses his arms and glares the three of them down as though they’re bickering younglings. “Arguing back and forth will do nothing to help Y/N. We need to act. I will speak to my father. Kaeda will speak to hers. Az, you should see if you can find out where Y/N might have gone. Cass, I want you making sure she doesn’t go anywhere near her fucking father’s house. By the end of the day, we should have at least sorted something. Understood?”

Cass doesn’t look away from Kaeda. He can see her eye twitching — the way she so desperately wants to push back against being ordered. Gods, how Az can’t see right through her, he has no clue—

“Understood.” Azriel answers without hesitation. “I’ll get right on it.”

Rhys inclines his head. “As will I.”

“And I’ll head back to Fenlaros.” Kaeda adds.

Cassian merely shrugs. “Fine.”

Without goodbyes, Azriel is shooting into the skies — probably hoping to get an aerial view of a sodden, freezing Y/N traipsing through the snow.

Rhys looks between Cassian and Kaeda for a beat longer before he disappears, winnowing — Cass assumes — straight to Velaris.

And then there were two.

Kaeda turns back to Cass. The doe-eyed look on her face is instantly gone. There’s a hint of a damn smirk.

“Whatever game you’re playing at,” Cassian clenches his jaw. “You will not win.”

A soft hiccup of a laugh escapes the redhead. “Oh, yes I will.” She steps closer. Close enough for her cotton-and-powder scent to envelop the male. “See, I always get what I want. Always.”

“Not this time. Azriel may not see you for the viper that you are, but I do.” He grits his teeth. “And I will fucking destroy you before you cause any damage.”

Green eyes glitter back at him. The female is unperturbed by the threat — and she knows he means it. There’s even a change in her scent that makes Cassian’s nostrils flare. A darker one. A muskier one.

“Oh, Cassian, I do hope so.” She says, and pushes up so her lips are at his ear. Her full breasts brush his chest. “I love a male who’s willing to punish me.”

She winnows away before the snarl has a chance to claw up Cassian’s throat.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

This is starting to feel like a bad idea.

It was easy, from the warmth and comfort of Vegha’s home, to convince yourself you’d be fine out amongst the wilds of the camp. But the old armoury is dark, dingy and cold, and within hours, you’re not sure you have the resolve for a single night there. Let alone however many you have ahead of you.

This used to be a place of mischief, when you and your friends were children. This far end of the camp has sat abandoned and unused for years, after newer, more effective training rings were installed where the hub of activity now lays. The four of you would spend days here, playing pretend with the old, wooden practice swords that were left behind. You’d make up stories of the area being haunted by the ghost of an ancient, disgruntled Camp Lord. And as you got older, it became a place to come and get drunk, to speak words and secrets that remained there, never to be carried away with you.

You won’t be bothered here, you know — nobody ventures this way. But that, and the fact that the old armoury affords you a roof over your head, are about the only positives. You’re so cold that it hurts. You’re hungry and miserable and tired in a way that has nothing to do with nightmare-filled sleeps.

And gods, you miss your friends. You miss them so much, it‘s a gnawing ache. All those nights you took for granted, tucked up warm in the cottage, Cassian making you all laugh with his antics. Those times seem so distant, now. Is this how it will be, from now on? Never did you think you’d be separated from your friends. And you don’t even know if this is a permanent thing. Will you have to wait and wait until Rhysand is High Lord and able to make decisions, before you can see them again?

These thoughts will do you no good. They’ll only make you colder and drive you to shed tears that you’re not sure you have the energy to shed.

You bundle in your blanket, squeezing your eyes shut as though that fruitless act will shield you from the cold. You were tempted to build a fire, but the last thing you want is to draw attention from anyone flying above. Being found in here will just bring you more trouble you don’t need.

You’re already hunched as it is, gloved hands buried under your armpits — but you somehow manage to tense even more when you hear the distinct sound of boots traipsing through the snow outside.

No.

You can’t do this — not right now. Nobody fucking comes here. Is the Mother laughing at you from above and sprinkling more misfortune into your already-dire existence? You can’t handle a confrontation, can’t handle being told you can’t stay here—

But the door creaks open, and it’s Azriel’s face that peers around cautiously. You almost sob with relief.

“Thank fuck.” He breathes. He’s slipping inside, shutting the door behind him. In a few great strides, he’s in front of you and dropping to his knees. “Are you alright?”

If you speak, you might crack. You risk it all the same. “How did you find me?”

“Took me a while to think of this place, I must admit. It’s been a long while since we were last here.”

But find you, he did. And fuck, his scent and natural warmth are swarming you. It feels like nothing else matters right then. Just you and him, like it’s always been. He yanks you into a hug, and you don’t stop him.

“You’re frozen.” He whispers, squeezing you. His gloved hands rub at your arms, your back, your shoulders. He pulls away to cup your face, and he studies every inch of it. You’re not sure what for.

But you stare back. You don’t know what to do or say. That could be the cold making it difficult to think, or it could be this weird wedge between you that feels like it’s only growing.

Az leans closer, and he presses his forehead against yours. “I miss you.” His gloves brush over your cheeks. “Gods, I miss you. So much.”

“I miss you, too.” You shudder. The words are weighty and truthful, not just referring to this past week apart, but to whatever has been going on for a while, now. You didn’t mean for it to be like this. You just want to go back to how it was.

“I’ve thought about nothing else—” His nose bumps against yours, and one of his hands slides to the nape of your neck, kneading the skin there. “I just—just need you close to me, Y/N. Always.”

You attempt a breathy laugh. “I don’t think Devlon would agree with that.”

“Fuck, Devlon. We’re going to get around this. Rhys is going to talk to his father, and even if that fails, Kaeda is talking to hers. I reckon they’ll be able to offer you sanctuary in Fenlaros until this is sorted—”

You pull back to blink at him. Study him. “What?”

“I asked Kaeda to speak with her father on your behalf. To see if they can find somewhere for you to stay. I’m sure they can—”

“Azriel, I’m not going to Fenlaros.”

He pauses. “…If they’ll have you, Y/N, yes you are. It means you’ll be safe and warm and fed—”

“No.”

“What? Why?”

“Besides the fact that I’m already in enough trouble thanks to that place?” You pull away from him, easing to your feet. “I don’t know anyone there. And if Devlon were to find out—”

“Stop worrying about Devlon and start worrying about your safety.” Azriel, too, stands. “It’s the most logical thing.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Y/N.”

“I’m not going further away from you than I already am, and I’m especially not going to start playing house with your lover, Azriel, it’s odd—”

“That’s what this is about?” He cocks an eyebrow. Folds his arms. “Because you don’t want to accept help from Kaeda?”

You shrug. And just…just to give your body something to do, you begin pacing. “I’m not sure it would be very helpful at all.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You just don’t like her, do you?” He snaps. The sound is harsh, and it makes you grit your teeth. “You’re not willing to accept help that you so clearly fucking need, because you don’t like Kaeda.”

“I don’t trust Kaeda.” You whirl around to face him. “Not one fucking bit, and you shouldn’t, either.”

“Why?”

“Because none of it makes sense! Why is she here in Windhaven, Azriel? What is it she actually wants?”

It’s dangerous — the way your voices are rising in volume and echoing around the armoury. But it’s as though weeks of emotional buildup are floating to the surface, and you can’t stop them, and they’re stoking an anger that actually warms you and feels better than being cold and hungry.

Azriel shakes his head. “You’re fucking impossible sometimes, you know that? You don’t want to help yourself. It’s like you’re determined to make your life as difficult as possible, and when you’re offered help, you don’t take it. You’re impossible!”

“Yeah, Azriel, maybe I am.” You snap back. “But at least I’m not lying through my teeth like Kaeda is, and at least I don’t break my damn promises.”

Azriel stops short. Stares at you.

You and he both know you’re referring to Solstice Night. You should have confronted it before, but…but you buried it.

You’re not sure you can do that anymore.

Azriel purses his lips. And then has the nerve to state, “Things are different between you and I these days.”

“Yes.” You stare back at him. “They are.”

Your eyes are trying to communicate so much. Things are different, and it might be the boundaries you crossed, but you’re more certain than anything that it’s Kaeda’s influence. You just don’t understand why Azriel can’t see it.

You wonder what he might say yet. So much anger and pent-up frustration zips between you. Mixed with longing and missing each other. Loving each other. Wanting to scream at each other, and for each other.

And part of you wants him to spit vicious words and fight back, just for you to feel something — even though you know that’s not Azriel’s style. But you stare and stare, and neither of you speak, and then Az is shaking his head and clenching his jaw.

“I’m not arguing with you here.” He says. “It’ll only draw attention to us.”

You fold your arms. “Fine.”

“I’m going to speak to Rhys, find out what his father said. And I’ll speak to Kaeda—”

“Go right ahead. I’m still not stepping foot back in Fenlaros—”

“And I’ll bring you some blankets and food. Or Cassian will. Or…whatever.” He stops still for a second, swallowing. “But we need to fix this shit between us.”

You know that. But you’re so fucking stubborn, your own worst enemy. And right then, you want to scream. Cry. Hurt him how he hurt you.

So you say nothing. You just shrug again.

He stares, as if waiting for a better reaction. And then he shakes his head once more and turns, striding back to the door. You wonder if it’s a bad thing to let him go, like this. When will you see him again? How will things be when you see him again? You’re making it worse for yourself, for him, for both of you.

You open your mouth — to say what, you’re not sure. But you’re stopped by Az pausing with his hand on the doorknob. With his back to you, his shoulders tense. He’s frozen in place.

And then he speaks — growls — two words. “Fuck this.”

He turns, marching back over to you so fast, you don’t have time to react.

And then he’s grabbing your face, and his mouth is on yours.

azriel tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd

[hysteria-things]

ok hear me out… matt or chris x reader and nate threesome😮‍💨😮‍💨

also (kinda) based off of this

EYES WIDE OPEN

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dom!nate, dom!chris x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: nate tells his best friend about what you two did on prom night, and it ends up with him showing chris how it’s done.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: THREESOME, PURE FILTH, swearing, p in v, fingering, some praising/degrading, hair pulling, dumbification, ROUGHH

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,634

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: sorry it’s late please still love me🙏

“you do know i fucked her right?” nate tells chris, pointing to the bathroom door just down the hallway.

“what?” chris questions, crossing his legs and looking over to his best friend.

you’re fixing yourself up in the restroom, and somehow, the boys start discussing how you have the most obvious crush on chris.

chris’ brother nick is your best friend and you practically grew up with them. since you’re a year younger, you’ve gotten close with nate being that he’s the same age as you.

you went to prom together senior year of high school, but it wasn’t serious. it was as friends.

chris chuckles, darting his eyes around the room. he may or may not have wondering eyes for you too, but he can never act on it. he’s one of your best friends, for god sake. “when?”

smirking, nate gets comfier in his seat. “after prom. remember when i said i couldn’t come over because my mom needed me home? i lied.”

his mind wanders, thinking back to what you were like in his backseat.

the rain sounds soothing on the car windows. the parking lot is empty, with only one streetlight illuminating in the distance.

lips smacking together in need, you grind on nate’s now growing hard-on through his dress pants. his tie is untied, his blazer thrown to the front seat with some of his shirt buttons undone.

nate’s hands roam up and down your body, gripping your ass each time he brings them to that part of you. he then starts to unzip his pants, pulling them down past his thighs along with his underwear.

the fluffy area of your dress is bunched above your hips, giving you easy access to nate’s dick. when he starts to pull your underwear to the side, you pull away and whine. “it’s too big.”

he chuckles, holding your hips to guide you down. the expanse is painful, but you tilt your head and moan nonetheless.

you wrap your arms around his neck and start to rock your hips slowly, whimpering and whining each time you move forward.

“there you go, just like that. i knew you could take it.”

he snaps out of it and sighs. “you need to see it for yourself one day.” nate suggests, taking a sip of his water. “she’s a good fuck, man.”

chris looks at his friend like he’s insane. “why are you telling me this, dude?”

“because you need to get laid.” he points out.

chris scoffs. “i don’t need to get laid.”

nate crosses his arms and eyes him, seeing right through his bullshit. “when’s the last time you hooked up with a girl?”

staying silent, that gives him his answer. “exactly.”

the bathroom door shuts, the sound of your footsteps coming back to the living room. “sorry, guys. i didn’t mean to take so long.” you giggle, sitting back down next to nate. they both eye you up and down, and you feel a little— no. very intimidated.

“do you remember prom night?” nate asks out of the blue, your eyes widening slightly.

“of course.” you start. “it was fun. why?”

he and chris both get up, the atmosphere feeling closed in around your body when they both hover over you. you gulp.

“do you remember when i fucked you?” nate asks, and your face heats up instantly. chris is standing right there. nobody is supposed to know about what happened with you two that night.

“i need to show chris here what he’s missing out on.” he continues, nodding his head to the right where he’s standing. “want to help me out?”

before you can answer, he cups your cheeks and kisses you with passion, laying you down back flat on the couch. you pout when he pulls away to remove your shirt. chris is now standing by the far wall to watch.

why don’t you question it? you have no idea. why do you enjoy it? also no idea.

he takes off his shorts and top, throwing them on the ground before his knees dip into the sofa at your sides. without warning, he takes his fingers and places them into your bottoms.

nodding to silently prove his point, he turns to chris. “she’s wet already.”

he practically rips off your shorts as you squirm, feeling embarrassed before he starts to rub your clit with two of his digits. gasping, you throw your head back. he moves them in a circular motion. you start to pant when he changes up the movements, either going hard or slow. “nate.” you whine, clit getting red from the penetration.

he takes one of the fingers and starts pumping it deep inside you, the other one still where it was before. your body jerks each time he pumps his finger into your hole, eyes starting to cross and tongue just about escaping your lips. “see how those pretty eyes roll back?” he teases. “i’m barely doing anything and she’s becoming a dripping mess.”

chris swallowed when his boner tightened in his pants, eyes not leaving your face of pleasure. nate adds the second finger, moving faster and curling them to hit one of the spots you love.

you moan loudly, closing your legs before they’re forcefully opened. “look at your little crush getting hard at the sight of ya. wishing he was the one who got to you first instead of me.”

chris pouts, frantically pulling down his pants to start jerking off at the sight. he moans at the way you’re looking at him through hooded eyes not helping with his erection.

“i’m-i’m going to cum, nate.” you mewl, squealing when you say his name.

“oh yeah? you going to cum around my fingers to show chris what he can never do?” he mocks, chris rolling his eyes. you whimper out yeses as your eyelids start to well up with tears. you cry out different curses, legs quivering from the stimulation.

the moment your orgasm drips down his hand, he puts his arms under your armpits and grips your shoulders. he leans so his bare chest is touching yours. “if you’re lucky.” he starts, hammering into you with no warning whatsoever. you gasp, the way he’s positioned making him deeper than ever. “you can pull another one out of ‘em.”

you scratch at his biceps, moaning and yelping while your body rocks so hard that the couch starts to squeak. “nathan! you feel so g-good!” you scream, the knot already coming back.

“you missed this, didn’t you?”

“mhm!” your mouth hangs open, clenching so hard on his dick it’s like you can feel every vein. it’s embarrassing how fast the coil tightens in your abdomen. “i’m cumming! ngh— oh my god.”

clamping down like a vice on his cock, you shake violently at how much you cum. he pulls out, flipping you over onto your stomach and getting up. this gives you time to breathe.

“your turn.” he tells chris, who’s leaking pre-cum out of his slit.

your eyes widen, pushing yourself up before chris grabs your hips and pins them down. nate grasps onto your hair and forces you to look at him. “eyes better not leave mine, princess. i want to see how fucked dumb you get.”

you wince at how hard he pulled. “w-wait! it’s too mu—” your eyebrows furrow and your mouth agape when chris enters you with ease because of how wet and aroused you are, completely cutting you off.

since you’re laid flat, the angle he’s hitting is deeper than nate’s. hoarsely moaning, chris’ hips pound fast, your ass slapping against his thighs.

nate’s tip lands on your tongue, fucking it to get to his high since he wasn’t able to get to it when he was fucking you.

it takes a second for your cunt to morph into chris’s dick. you’re still dazed from before, but since you’re getting filled again, you’re practically brain-dead at this point.

“y-you’re so big! ah—” you whimper, and he smirks. nate rolls his eyes. “you hear that? the slut said i’m big.”

“shut up.” nate bites back, painting your face with his sticky cum, smearing it on your mouth and chin. “so beautiful.”

you fight for your life to not have your eyes roll back, moaning uncontrollably since it feels like you can’t speak anymore.

he moves hard, grunting each time you close in around him. man, he missed doing this with girls. your nails dig into the arm of the couch, still staring into nate’s dark eyes. your mouth moves as if it’s saying words, but nothing comes out. you’re blabbing nothing. “look at that. you’ve fucked her even more stupid. well done.”

chris sighs annoyingly, looking down at the way your pussy engulfs him. “i know how to fuck girls, nate.”

whimpering, the fabric of the cushion rubs gently against your clit, squeezing tight around him so that it catches him off guard. “cum.” you sob quietly. “i-i’m going to cum.”

that alone has him going at an animalistic pace, tears staining your cheeks. “you’re on the pill right?” he asks, twitching between your walls when he hits your g-spot.

you nod, releasing for the third time tonight as he starts to get to his orgasm. “thank fuck. i’m not pulling out of this perfect pussy.”

thrusting in one last time, he stops to shoot his load nice and good into your cunt. nate let’s go of your hair, your head immediately plopping over the edge.

he’s already dressed, and chris gets up to do the same. they look at each other, smirking. “we did good.” nate says.

“yes we did.” chris replies the both of them looking at how your face is coated with cum and how your folds flutter, leaking and making a mess below you.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @sturniolotriplettoplover @stars4matt @freshsturns @loverrsposts @sturnlcvr @elliesturniolo1 @tpvmz @user283926392 @lalalands86 @sukiipjs @sturniologirl813 @leahrab @chrissturniolosslut @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @luv4kozume @ivyyyyyysposts @mirxcle1 @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @catalina-island @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @pinkfarts @slut4mattsturn @thesturniolos @vickeyzloserz @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @bellasfavbisexual @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @crazychrisl0v3r @maggieflms @strtuniolo @mutualsafe @riasturns @sturniolowhore @antpile00 @ashley9282828 @stingerayyy2

[iiseor]

KNIFE — TOXIC!ELLIE | 마취된 슬픔이 다시 고갤 들 때까지 It Seems Like Hangover

synopsis: just toxic!ellie wrote based off my ex/gf/situationship, by based off i mean i literally looked through our texts to write this. don’t read if toxic storys make u sad or whatever

warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs & alc & cheating.

your mind was blank. The cold pierced through your window, empty alcohol bottles and old cigs scattered around as you lay spread out on floor beside your bed.

it all repeated over and over again in your head.the other night, ellie coming home smelling like weed, alcohol and another girls perfume again. you knew where she had been.

-

“this is not the end of anything” ellie said rolling her eyes at you. “it is to me” you replied. “why? tell me, why? because my attention was off you for one night? you can’t go one night without me?” she scoffed, “fucking embarrassing y/n”.

“it wasn’t just one night, it’s been many el you know this. you can’t keep doing this and expecting me to be here the moment you’re done messing around with other girls” you choked out. her words were getting to you, she knew they were.

“so what?” she replied.

your eyes were wide. she was always dismissive, you couldn’t put up with it anymore. “get out ellie” you answered. she scoffed in return, “i’m going to sleep”.

“get out, i’m serious” you raised your voice “stop yelling at me” she replied, walking towards your room.

your heart was racing. You walked in front of her, pushing her away before she could open your bedroom door. “leave ellie” you repeated. “baby, stop overreacting” she sighed.

“i’m not fucking overreacting, why can’t you listen to me? why can’t you take me seriously for one goddamn minute? i want you to leave, i don’t want you here anymore” you yelled again, ellie still rolling her eyes at you, sighing again. “why would i take you seriously” she laughed.

“what?” you breathed out, lowering your tone, your heart still racing. “why would i take you seriously? look at how psychotic you are over a few girls who mean nothing. how do you expect anyone to put up with you when this is how you act? so greedy. i always come back to you and it’s still not enough” she said caressing your face, her eyes looking into yours so innocently. you forced yourself not to fall for it.

you held eye contact for a minute before she walked back over to the living room where this had started.

“Fuck el, why aren’t you listening? i don’t want you to come back to me, i want you to stay with me, why am i not enough? why do you need all these other girls?” you cried. “i’ll change, you know i will ellie. i’ll change anything, i’ll stop everything you don’t like, please, just tell me”.

her face was blank, she sat down on the couch, keeping her eyes off you, but she could hear the tears through your voice. “look at you” she said, your eyes filled now—there was no point in trying to hide it.

“you were just yelling at me, trying to stick up for yourself. now you’re crying, saying you’ll “change yourself for me”, and i haven’t even said anything” she laughed again, you stayed silent. “you’re so pathetic, really”. “you’re lucky i even put up with you for this long, everyone else would rather be dead then with you. I put up with you, I stayed with you, I came back to you so you wouldn’t feel alone” she laughed at her words again. “You know that’s all you’ll feel when i leave, there’s nobody else who will ever put up with your bullshit the way i do. you’d be a nobody if it wasn’t for me”. you stayed frozen. “what? nothing else to say now? you were just going on and on about how terrible i am, cat has your tongue now?” she spit.

“just leave ellie, please” you whispered, barely able to get anything out through the sobs.

she stood up from the couch, walking towards you. you stepped back slightly before her hand reached to cup your face, wiping away the continuous tears.

“you don’t realize how much you’re throwing away right now” she whispered “all for what y/n?” “to feel like a big girl” she mocked you. you couldn’t look her in the eyes, your body was stuck in place. you stayed still as she leaned in to kiss your head, her face unsympathetic through it all. she caressed your face once again before picking up her jacket off the rack and leaving, making sure to slam the door behind her.

you remained in place. standing in your empty one bedroom apartment, tears flowing down your face as your body filled with agony.

[ponyosmom35]

Fight

simon ghost riley x reader

synopsis: simon finds out that Makarov was back, and he had information on them all, putting all of their loved ones in danger. He had to go back, despite the big wedding in a few months. Now he had to break it to his fiance.

warnings: cursing, angst, fighting, yelling, crying

Takes place hours before ' Nightmares'

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/724577494896885760/nightmares-simon-ghost-riley-x-reader-synopsis?source=share

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Simon asks as she walks into the house holding their coffees. 

“Sure” she says as she walks into the kitchen where he stood. She sits at the barstool and hands him his coffee. “Whats going on, you sound upset” 

“I have to leave” he admits, watching as her happiness disappears, being replaced with a hurt expression. 

“What?” she asks 

“There’s a mission, Price needs me to come back”

“Can’t you say no?” she asks, he scoffs and shakes his head. 

“Not exactly” 

“Laswell has no other options?” 

“Because there is nobody else who can get this job done the way that we can” he responds, instantly getting frustrated at her reaction. 

“But you said you didn’t have to go back until after the wedding”

“Can’t control the bad guys love” he says sarcastically

“Thats bullshit” 

“Why is that?” he asks crossing his arms 

“We’re getting married in 4 months, Simon! I need you here, I can’t do this all by myself” 

“I wouldn’t be going if it wasn’t necessary” 

“Jesus christ” she responds shaking her head 

“What do you expect me to do about this huh? You think I should sit back and let the most dangerous man in the world roam free to do whatever he pleases? All of that blood would be on my hands, that ain’t somethin’ I’m okay with” he responds, raising his voice. He couldn’t understand why she was refusing to see the bigger picture. 

“No I obviously don’t think you should sit back! I know how important you are, and I know that you’re the only ones who could take this guy down” she says, throwing her hands up in the air. 

“So what’s the issue then eh?” 

“The issue is that once again I have to watch you walk out of that door, and I fear that it’ll be the last time I ever see you. The fucking issue is that we can’t even have a few months of peace before you get pulled back in!”

“You knew what you were gettin’ into bein’ with me”

“You also told me that you wanted to retire, you wanted to be done with this life”

“You’re taking my words too literally love, I didn’t mean I was gonna retire right this second” he snaps 

“Why say it then? Why get my hopes up, because I was under the impression that this was something you had really been considering, now you’re talking to me like I’m the fucking crazy one for wanting you to be here to plan our wedding!”

“You’re right I should’ve kept that to myself” he nods “didn’t think this would be a fight, there ain’t shit I can do about it. I go when I’m needed end of story”

“And what about me? What if you miss our wedding?”

“I can’t give you a timeline on how long it takes to bring down a terrorist, could be a week, could be months. It ain’t up to me”

“Jesus” she says running her hands through her hair angrily as tears fill her eyes and her lips tremble. “No don’t worry about me Simon, I’ll just be here at home, wondering if you’re alive or not. I’ll be here waiting for you to come home. What you’re not understanding is that I won’t be there on base to patch you up. I won’t see you everyday, it was hard enough back then, but now? You took me off the team! You had Laswell send me home! Now I’m stuck here while I‘m fucking terrified that I’ll lose you before you’re even fully mine!”

“You know why I did that! I had no choice!”

“But you did have a choice and you chose wrong!”

“I did it to protect you! you were a hostage! I almost lost you, I can’t risk that happening ever again. Do you have any how fucking scared I am to lose you? You are everything to me! I chose you always. Don’t tell me that I don’t fucking understand. I see it all perfectly clear! I don’t wanna hear anything else about something I have no control over!” he roars, his chest rising and falling as he stares at her in anger. 

“I’m allowed to be upset Simon, thats not a crime” she says wiping her tears as she leaves the kitchen and runs up the steps, leaving her coffee untouched and cold. 

Simon curses and runs his hand through his hair in anger. He knew he should’ve handled that better. He wasn’t even truly upset with her. What he would never tell her is the reason he’d accepted the job was due to the fact that the man they were going after, Vladimir Makarov had information. Simon refused the offer at first, for the same reason she’d been upset, their wedding. However Price showed him the intel they picked up. Makarov had names, he knew Simon and he knew her. He knew instantly what he would have to do, Price helped him with the plan. After he left for the mission, he would have to fake his death, in order to keep attention off of his lover. He would break her heart in order to save her. He knew that she’d never be safe as long as he was still ‘alive’. She’d be used against him and he would never risk that. Price expressed how delicate this mission was, they weren’t sure who to trust as there had been so much corruption. This will be for the better.

ghost master list:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

[surfinminho]

Kinktober day 25- orgasm denial w/ Felix

⤷ warnings: edging, throat fucking, hate sex (?), sub!Felix, Dom!reader, college setting once again!!

⤷ word count: 1.6k

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna @ihrtlix @conwunder @jazzyluuv

⤷ permanent taglist: @iadorethemskz @iluvseungie

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

You would be lying if you said you didn't know how you got him into this situation. Maybe you were being a little harsh but he deserves it.

You guys went to college together, he was always trying to one up you one everything you guys did. Always studying to say he got the highest test grade. And at first you didn't really care but as he started getting praise for it how could you not?

You guys had mutual friends, though that doesn't mean you like to talk to him.

"Come on, just let it go man" seungmin sighs. Running his fingers through his hair.

"Tell him to stop his bullshit first" rolling your eyes. You knew he could hear you, he was only at the other table. You couldn't care less. You didn't care about his grades either.

"You know how difficult it is to be friends with you guys? Always arguing for what?" You also know that they're annoyed with your antics but youre not the one to end an argument first.

It takes a couple of weeks for your next encounter, around a week after you took your exam.

You studied day and night for this exam. Skipping meals and barely getting sleep trying to prepare.

When you guys got your test scores back your heart dropped. You had failed. You didn't know either to cry or stay stunned. You were in the library with seungmin while checking your grades. Late at night studying for another exam.

He saw you starring at your laptop, wondering why you fell silent.

"What'd you get?" He leans in to see tears trailing down your eyes.

"I failed, after all that studying I failed" you didn't want to seem weak, but Felix was on the other side of the table so you tried to whisper. Though it didn't work.

"You failed? I got a 100. If you need tutoring you can always call me" he turns back to his phone, cracking a smile.

Standing up and packing your things up, you say to him in a softish tone. Trying your best not to disturb others.

"Go fuck yourself."

It's been a few days since that situation. Trying your best to ignore him and any other of his annoying friends.

"It's okay you'll get it next time" seungmin tried to reason with you.

"Yea, next time to get a lower grade than that stuck up over there?" You were being petty, you get it. Then again what did he expect? For you to continue to suck up whatever he says to you?

You and seungmin both knew that you were done with his bullshit, he just didn't want to admit that one day he will eventually have to choose between you guys.

You didn't know why you even agreed to this knowing he would be there, curse seungmin being so good at persuading.

"Really seung? I have better things to do." Maybe you don't but does he have to know that?

"Please. Get your ass inside" he holds the door open for you, shutting it back.

You would also be lying if you didn't have a tiny crush on Felix. Cliche? Yea. But you couldn't help it.

Though he was a bitch he was also pretty. Wearing the prettiest clothes to empress nobody. When you heard he was going to attend the party. You smiled to yourself, even though you know your chances with him are close to impossible you could have hope.

Though you didn't want to have a chance like this, you were walking around, with your drink when you bumped into him and split it.

He saw your worried face, trying to comfort you.

"Hey, its okay-" he couldn't finish his sentence because of the way you took off.

You ran away from him into the bathroom, sliding down the door. Your attempts to hide from him didn't work hence him knocking on the door for the better half of an hour.

"Just let me in, I want to get some paper." His hushed voice was making you wet, and you didn't know why. Maybe it's the alcohol he drank or was he always like this?

You got up and unlocked the bathroom door, sitting on the closed toilet seat looking at the ground.

He realized the juice at soaked through all the way, leaving a sticky trail of the substance on his stomach.

He takes off his shirt, wetting some paper to dry himself.

You tried not to stare, but your eyes seem to wander on its own. Catching a glance when you think he's not looking.

"I can see you." He turns his head slightly, throwing the damp paper, in the trash.

"Wasn't staring" you almost stutter, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"Nobody said you were."

Shit. Did you just tell on yourself? Maybe you did but he was gonna find out anyway, why not now.

You try to escape what feels like a prison, jolting up and grabbing the doorknob but he grabs your hand.

"Why are you so scared of me" he backs you up into the sink, hips pressed against yours.

You wanted to kiss him so bad. His face only inches away from yours.

"I'm not." You shut your eyes trying to reduce the urge to just make out with him right then and there.

"You're running away from me as if you don't want to fuck me." He laughs pushing you furthing into the sink.

"Your very bold for a guy I can easily make my bitch" you don't know where that came from, he leans back slightly with his mouth agape.

You hum, finally leaning in to press your lips together. Lipstick smearing around his own lips. Gripping onto his waist, you grope any available skin. Rubbing your hands over his rock hard abs. You go lower feeling he's hard.

You pull away hovering your face over his neck.

"Getting hard from a kiss it kinda pathetic lix" you start kissing his neck, sucking Hickeys into his neck, trailing your lips down leaving a lipsticks stains against his neck.

"Fuck you" he spat trying to push you away.

You grab his cock through his pants, squeezing it tight before letting go.

"Watch your mouth." honestly, you didn't know where this confidence came from. You never "dommed" a male before so this was all new, nonetheless you loved it.

You leaned back, admiring the mess you made all over his face and neck.

You drop to your knees, unzipping his pants. Pulling out his cock, you spit in your hand wrapping it around his cock.

"S-shit" he whines, knees buckling as you stroke him, pressing your mouth on his tip.

"Go faster y-you slut" he wants to take control back, but he can't. But he didn't surrender just yet. Always wanting to put up a fight per usual.

You listen to him, putting him all the way into your mouth. You slightly gag at the feeling of him hitting your mouth. Precum smears, going down your throat.

"Fucking finally" he holds your head down, fucking your throat lightly.

You let it happen, not warning him what's gonna happen next.

"Gonna cum s-shit" you pull off as soon as those words utter out of his mouth.

He groans, throwing his head back.

"You're so mean to me I thought I should return the favor?" You look back at him, standing back up before kissing him again.

You gave him time to settle down before grabbing his cock again, roughly jerking off his shaft. Running your thumb over his tip every so often.

"You wanna cum?" You turn him over to face the bathroom mirror, you pressed up against his back.

"if you think I'm gonna be your little submissive boy, it wont work." He says with a cocky tone, eyes rolling back.

"You say that as if your not the one naked whining for me to let you cum" youre still fully clothed, clothes contrasting against the tan skin

You squeez his tip, causing a moan to roll out of his lips.

"Y-you can do more. C'mon we both know you want to" you sighed, making him face you once more as you grab his face.

"Can't you just shut the fuck up for one second? And not act like a whiny little whore." You let his face go, slapping him once.

He had never been treated like this. Sure he subbed once in a while. But this? This was a new feeling that he liked. He liked getting called a whore and being slapped around by you. It intrigues him.

You see his demeanor change, eyes softening as tears lace his eyes.

"s-sorry ma'am" you give him a cheesy smile, running your hands over his abs once more.

"You know," you start off. As soon as he whines about being so close you let go again. "You have such a nice body, nice cock too. Sucks youre such a bitch and nobody will get to see it"

Hes so obviously worn out by now. Wanting to cum so bad that'll he do anything just to cum once.

You stroke him a couple more times, using your spare hands to rub his nipple. Twisting them in your hands.

"C-cumming, please ma'am I'll be good for you. Just for you" the tears finally rolling down, staining his cheeks. God he looks beautiful.

"Okay cum."

Maybe you haven't been with enough boys but that's the hardest someone has ever came for you. His whole body was shaking as he fucked up into your hand.

"Fuck you."

[androgynousblackbox]

How I Met Your Father. 3 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

A03 link

"Ssssoo, let me get this sstraight" started out Sir Pentious, their newest resident at the hotel, after taking a zip from the glass that Husk had just served him at the bar. "You mean to tell me that Alassstor, one of my oldest archnemessis, actually had a daughter all along. Who wass the princess of hell. Because he wass married all along to Lucifer and nobody knew about it. And that iss why he iss here at the hotel."

"Yeah, pretty much you got it" confirmed Husk, serving a new martini for Angel.

"And when I ssigned to sstay here, I alsso signed away any chance to ever tell it to anyone because no one should know for ssome reasson" added the snake man, trying to digest that information. Now it made sense why Charlie had insisted on the "not talk about my family outside of his hotel, I am sorry, please, I tried to change it but now I can't, just please don't do it" when he had the contract in front of him.

"Or you lose the ability to speak, text, corse mode or whatever else ever again" confirmed Angel. "Kinda paranoid if you ask me, but what are you gonna do? Still beats paying rent."

Sir Pentious looked pensative, lost in thought. After a while he finally reached to the one true question he wanted to ask.

"How?"

"How what?" Husk took a drink from his own bottle.

"I mean, that guy?" Sir Pentious turned around to see Alastor on the opposite side of the living room, taking a cup of coffee while gently moving his feet at the tune playing on the radio at his side. If it wasn't for the shadows dancing all around his little corner with cruel mocking smiles it could have been a peaceful picture. He quickly turned again when he could feel some of the shadows looking at him back. "Am I the only one who doessn't undersstand how he landed with Lucifer of all people? Nobody hass sseen the king in agess. I even heard rumorss of people thinking he had died yearss ago."

"Mmm, you know, that is not a bad question" Angel looked over to Husk. "Any input from your side, kitty?"

"Call me kitty again and see what happens" grumbled Husk, with a frown.

"Fine, fine. For the sake of science. Husk. Would you mind sharing the tea of what the fuck is up with smiley face?"

"You think I have a fucking clue of what that guy does or doesn't do? I have none" Husk also threw a glare to the corner of Alastor, that of course Alastor immediately returned with a friendly wave. Fucking bastard. "One day he called me over to bartend on some bullshit dance club he had set up in the palace with a new ring on his finger and saying he wanted to dance with his husband. When I asked what the hell was he talking about, he quite literally told me to mind my own business. I thought he had finally lost his god damn mind until I saw Lucifer appear with him using a matching ring. Next thing I know he is summoning me again to take care of a toddler he had apparently made so they could go on a date. Not a single explanation of where that toddler even came from, how it happened or why was he even calling me. Do I even look like a fucking babysitter?"

"You do look soft and huggable" commented Angel, looking him down and up. The comment, for once, didn't even seem to have a sexual innuendo, just a mere observation. "I can see kids liking that."

Husk rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. The point I was trying to get at, I am just as clueless as everyone else. I asked Charlie once if she knew how her parents met and she just said that I should ask them, because she thinks they tell the story so much better."

"But there is a story" Angel smiled, swiveling from side to side on his chair. "Oh, I bet it involves a dungeon somewhere. Can you imagine that is how they met? The king with a secret taste for BDSM finding his match there? Being the king has to create such a great pressure. Lots of powerful people relax with a good beating at the hands of someone else. I can see something like that happening. And wouldn't you know it, our smiley friends loves to give a good beating too. Now that would be a good movie I would watch."

Husk stared at him like he, too, had lost his entire mind. Then he seemed to think better about it and reclined on the bar. Truth be told, it was also the first time he got to talk about this with someone else since Alastor had also put the same condition of silence on him and Niffty.

"No, no, you know what? I bet there was some kind of contract involved. I just don't buy that guy getting romantic with anyone without a motive."

"I concord with Hussk there" added Sir Pentious, nodding. "He just doessn't sstrike me ass the romantic type either. Maybe it wass a form of blackmail over the king? Ssomething to hold againsst him unless he complied?"

"Mmm, that can be hot too" considered Angel. "But having a kid for a blackmail? Kinda extreme, doesn't it? And didn't you just said that they went on dates and what not? Isn't that too much effort for the bit?"

"Anyone can go out in dates with anyone, that doesn't meant that they aren't hiding something" Husk was getting more convinced of his own words the more he spoke. "And listen, you don't know the guy for as long I do. He would do anything to get what he wants. I once saw him devouring a guy just to get his coat. Playing the role of caring hubby just to get something out of it is not really out of the realm of possibilities. And there is a lot to gain from the king of hell himself."

"Jeez, okay, I got it, romance is dead and you killed it" Angel swivelled again, turning around. Charlie now was talking with Alastor about something. All the shadows had dissapeared and it was just the radio demon hanging to her every word. "I am just saying, if that is acting then that is one hell of an actor right there. And I should know as the only one with a job in front of a camera."

"Well, perhapss with Charlie iss different" conceded Sir Pentious. "It's alwayss different when it comes to your own children, I ssuppose."

"I don't know" Husk crossed his arms, trying to think of any sign of Alastor having anything else than affection for his daughter and, if he had to be honest, he was coming out with nothing. But that could also be entirely an ego thing to preserve his own legacy or something along those lines. "Well, fine, maybe. I still won't believe for a second that Alastor just so happened to end up with Lucifer out of the goodness of his heart. I just would like to know what he did to convince the king to go along with that plan."

"Maybe he is just really good at seduction" offered Angel. "And the king was so lonely, with his million of bucks in that huge empty castle and no one to share it with. Damn, I can almost see it. Smiley coming up with all the aces under his sleeves and charming him to his feet. The poor guy didn't stand a chance."

"For the guy who invented temptation? You think he would be that desperate?"

"Hell yeah, why not? I have seen uglier people pocketting hotter partners all the time. Charm and the right words will get you very far, Husky. Which reminds me to ask you, is Lucifer hot? I always pictured him with this massive and thick bulg…"

"Charlie, dear!" Sir Pentious said it louder than neccesary for the two of them to drop the subject already as the princess was approaching them. Alastor himself was nowhere to be seen. "We were jusst talking… about…"

"My favorite dildo broke and I got to buy a new one. Sad hours here."

Husk lifted both his hands in a clear request to know why the hell was Angel like that, while Sir Pentious looked about ready to offer himself to the exorcists. Angel shrugged in response. It was the very first thing that came to his mind. Charlie froze a moment in place, blushing before she regained her train of thought.

"Oh, well. For as fascinating of a topic that is, um, I was thinking that for the next exercise we could all get around in a circle tonight and talk about a happy memory that we all have!"

"That ssoundss like a lovely idea, dear."

"Whatever you say, princess."

Husk thought about it before answering.

"Is Alastor going to participate?"

"Yes, of course! I just told him about it and he is excited too."

Knowing the princess, that "excited" very well could have been polite interest.

"Mmm, you know what I was thinking, kiddo? When you were little, you always said that he was so good telling stories. I myself am not the best storyteller unfortunately. Why don't you get him to tell one of those stories for us? Maybe of how your parents end up together or something uplifting like that. To get us all in the best mood."

Charlie gasped loudly, clapping his hands against her cheeks.

"That is an amazing idea, uncle! I know everyone will love that! I will go tell him that right now!"

The moment the princess went up the stairs, probably to look for the demon back at his studio, Angel raised his glass to Husk.

"Master of subtlety, aren't ya?"

"Hey, I had to try at least once" He wasn't exactly happy for using the trust of Charlie on him like that, but he had spent decades wondering too much and wasn't going to spoil a chance when it presented itself to him. "I doubt that Alastor is going to even tell the truth with her in the room, but at least I will know what he told her about it."

"That iss besst than nothing, I guess" Sir Pentious sighed. "Do you all realizze that meanss Alasstor iss technically the king of hell too? And he jusst… doesn't do anything about it? The more I think about it, the weirder it getss."

"I am telling you, he is getting his kicks beating the king and enjoying that money. I am no sadist myself, but if the price is right I will make an exception."

Sir Pentious finished his drink and looked at his glass, as if looking the courage to say what was on his mind.

"Wanna bet?"

"Fuck yeah, bitch. How much?"

"What part of he is probably not going to say the truth in front of Charlie did not register? No kid wants to hear that their parents are together out of convenience and Alastor is not stupid enough to not know that."

"Oh, come on, whiskers, at least we can have some fun about it. Even among the bullshit we could find something true."

"You haven't seen the layers of bullshit Alastor is on."

"Hey, if you are too scared to even play, I get it. Pussy" Angel pronnounced the word like a kiss, with a smile.

Husk looked at him. Quickly, as if taking out a gun in a shooting, he took out his wallet. Oh, he would be damned if someone suggested he was too scared to play. His old pride as a gambling overlord was on the line.

"I bet you it's a completely bullshit made up story about being a meet cute, just to please Charlie."

"Now we are talking! I bet that Alastor will talk about having "especial interests" together and finding "mutual satisfaction" in each other."

"I bet itss going to involve Alasstor being the one with the initiative and the main driving force!"

Established the rates in, Husk set up the betting money on a little safe that he never used because nobody ever paid for their drinks there. All they had left to do was wait.

--

At the afternoon, they were surprised to find Alastor already sat on the couch. That alone wasn't surprising, but it was the white snake wrapped around his neck that Charlie reacted with absolute delight upon seeing it.

"Aww! And what is this doing here?" cooed, going up to the couch as the snake extended to her through Alastor's shoulder, flicking it's slitted tongue against her cheek and then it's head against her.

"Oh, this? Just a little snack for later that I found in the backyard" answered Alastor, his smile only growing bigger when the snake flicked it's tail to him, clearly pissed.

"Noooo, don't eat the little guy!" said Charlie, for some reason laughing to herself as she petted the white head, which seemed to instantly calm him down. "He is being so good right now, be nice, dad."

"Oh, well, I will consider it just because you ask, dear" Alastor chuckled, gently scratching under the chin of the snake with his claws. "After all, he is quite a lovely specimen, isn't he?"

It sounded like his words were more directed at the animal than to Charlie. The snake made a huffing motion, but end returning to wrap around Alastor's neck and settled himself there. When everyone else gathered around, Alastor accomodated on his seat petting the snake absentmindedly, letting his fingers run through the white body that looked perfectly relaxed on his place.

Charlie, in the other hand, turned to a confused Vaggie and whispered something on her ear that made her let out a silent oh. She smiled and gave a small head nod to the snake, that perked up upon seeing her, flickering his tongue.

Weird, but nobody really felt like questioning too much. After seeing a demon pulled out tentacles, shadows, musical instruments and other things out of mid air without making any effort, it was easy to just accept another oddity. At least this one wasn't deadly.

"Alright, everyone, thanks for coming!" started Charlie, as it was usual for all her bonding exercises. "Some of you have been very brave coming out today and we are so proud of you!" Charlie smiled in direction to Alastor, where the tail of the snake waggled against his coat. "As you all know, I wanted us to share a happy memory of each of us. It can be anything that you want as long it's something that makes you smile when you think about it. Does anyone want to be first? Angel?" asked when he saw the spider demon raising his hand.

Husk rolled his eyes, preparing himself to hear something about drugs or sex, probably both at the same time. Sir Pentious looked at the ceiling, brazing himself.

"One time I lost Fat Nuggets on the mall" started Angel. "I was like crazy looking for him everywhere. After a while I saw that he was waiting for me in the entrance with my phone in his mouth. I had been so focused in finding him, that I haven't even notice at all I had lost my phone even before coming in. It almost made me shit my pants, but it was also nice to see how smart he is."

The room stayed silent for a full second, everyone staring at him as if waiting for the punchline to drop. Angel laughed.

"What? I mean, if you are all dying to hear the more spicier memories then you can just ask! I have so many I wouldn't know which one to choose from! I could tell you about this time I…"

There it was.

"No, no, thank you, it's okay!" Charlie quickly interjected it. "Thank you, Angel, that was really lovely! Who is next?"

Sir Pentious shared a memory of finishing his first weapon of destruction after weeks of trying it out. The fact that it had destroyed the building he was in rather than the target didn't mattered at all to him, because at last it was doing something destructive at least. Vaggie talked about her first date with Charlie, in which she got to see a movie for the first time in her life and later have pizza at Charlie's apartment. They did nothing else that day and it was still the best day she could have wished. The simple retelling brighten up Charlie's face.

Her own happy memory was visiting Lu Lu World for the first time with her parents. She throw up three times, one for excitement and the other two for going to the roller coasters despite dad's warning. Her parents argued about letting her eat too much. But she always remembered when the night came and Lucifer taught her how to make fireworks out of her own hands, while Alastor looked up from the ground.

When everyone quietly decided to move on from the happy memory of Niffty that included a rusty knife and a kneecap she got to keep, Charlie turned to Alastor.

"Dad, your turn. Please?" asked, making the puppy eyes that she knew neither of her parents could resist for long.

"Alright, alright" Alastor sighed as if fighting a great resistance. "Per request of my little fawn, I guess I have no option but to bring up the time I met her father as my happy memory. Charlie heard this so many times that she must be sick and tired of it" added with a grin, seeing Charlie grab onto her crossed legs sat on the floor, exactly as when she was a kid about to hear it for the first time.

The ears of Husk perked, even though nothing on his whole posture changed. By now his biggest concern was to win the bet than to try to decipher how much Alastor was about to lie through his yellow teeth.

"Well, as you all must be aware of by now, my husband is the king of all hell and also a very private person" started the man, caressing the white snake that lifted his head to nuzzle his cheek. "So naturally he needed guards to keep the defenses up of his castle and keep anyone out. But not just about any sinner would do, no. I applied for the job out of mere and pure curiosity. How was our invisible king going to be? Was he going to be a monster worthy of hell, a nightmare I couldn't even begin to understand, or the pure image born out of heaven that he was originally? Maybe a combination of the two, the meaning of corruption? I just couldn't resist not knowing at all.

At that point my career as an overlord wasn't anything to scuff at. My own power made me thirsty for knowledge, to get where not any other sinner had been before. The king Asmodeus was the one to see all the candidates. He, as a close friend to the king and concerned for his wellbeing, wanted to garanteed that the peace of the king would not be disturbed by having the most capable

So naturally he made us all fight in an arena to see by himself who among us were the strongest. I could go on about all the gorey details of what I did with those sinner, but my little fawn is not a fan, so I will skip those for now. Unfortunately I got a little carried away myself, so there was no viable coworkers for me to share the position with by the time I was done. There were also no witnesses left. Truly tragic.

As soon Asmodeus saw I was clearly the superior choice, that is when I got installed in the palace to do my job.

As it turns out, the king of hell was so busy with his own royal issues that I didn't get to see him at all during my first week. Not the second. On the third I was already considering this could have been a huge waste of my time when I heard a melody from the garden. There, over the fountain, our dear beloved king was playing the violin over the waters.

He was certainly not a nightmare, nor a monster. A heaven dream they failed to appreciate and now was the ruler of his own kingdom, playing on his garden for no one. I let him finish the piece before talking. He knew about me and my face, of course. He first apologized profusely because of what Asmodeus had done "forcing me" to fight like that. He only had accepted that deal in the first place just for the peace of his friend, not his.

I told him, clear and direct, that I am only sorry I wasn't given more bodies to dispatch of. He just told me ah, so you are that kind of sinner. I should have known. He wasn't surprised or disgusted, neither ectatic and jumping in giddiness. The king of hell had seen every atrocity made by men since creation and their wickedness hold no wonder for him. It just was, the same way that the sky down here is red. No need to justify it or ponder too much about it.

I found it… refreshing, in a way. Living in hell, you would think people would be less squeamish and afraid of some dark humor, but you would be wrong. The lack of judgement from the one who was judged the harder made it so much easier to be at ease on his presence. From that day forward, seeing as he couldn't keep pretending that I wasn't there, we started having dinner together. At first our alimentary preferences were a bit of a struggle to get through. He insisted on putting sugar on almost everything he touched. I liked my meals as raw and bloody, a little decayed for extra flavor, which he didn't appreciate particularly when flies started appearing.

More than one time I considered quitting. More than one time he threatened with kicking me out. But for whatever reason, there was never enough conviction to do anything else but keep our distance for a day or two, until we ended up in the same table again. Little by little I started cooking some of my meals and he stopped trying to give me sweets all the time. Our chairs were getting closer so we could hear each other better. He talked to me about his interest or hobbies with no filter, even when I didn't want to hear, like he haven't had anyone to do that with in a long time.

It was a comfortable routine, and before I knew it, an entire year had already passed. I learned about what being a king entailed and whatever ambitions I had about it were very quickly squandered. Charlie, I am sorry, but it's literally the most boring job you will ever have. Endless paperwork, dealing with the whinning of all the rings, even more paperwork, taxes because this is hell, of course, and, in a shocking twist of event, more paperwork to go through. I did always tried my best to distract the king when I could so he wouldn't drown himself on that side of his job and I myself wouldn't die of boredom.

But going out was difficult for him, so I would do things like setting a fake jazz club in the party room so he would get that experience I quite enjoyed myself. Our Majesty wasn't only a enthusiastic lover of music, he also had the lightest feet on the floor I had ever seen. He could pick up the rythm almost instantly and follow along.

On that first date, we may have been carried away with our drinks. Particularly me, regrettably, because as it turns out, it takes a lot more than what a mortal soul can take to get the devil actually wasted. I don't even remember what I said or in what tone, or even how Lucifer responded at any of it, but at the next morning I knew that something had changed in our dynamic. A touch of hands that went a bit longer than ever before. A gaze that never wanted to quit. A smile without any apparent reason. We end spending almost all day just in the presence of each other. When we didn't, we still looked for each other.

How can you be surprised when inevitably things go even further? How can you be shocked when you see your king at the end of the hallway and think "ah, that is right. That is the man I will end up spending eternity with"? Lucifer proposed first only because I couldn't find the most appropiate ring before him."

At that point Alastor took out the glove that used only on one hand, revealing a golden ring in his finger.

"Pure magic in solid form. That is when I found out that rings given by the king of hell himself can't be taken out. The only exception being in case of a divorce or death. Not that I was planning to do either, but it kinda made it hard to try to not advertise our relationship everytime I came out the palace. Hence the glove that I only got to take out once I am back home. And now here, since I know none of you will speak about it.

That is how I married the father of my future little fawn."

Charlie chocked up a little, barely containing a few tears that escaped her eyes, and she got up the floor to go hug her, kissing the little snake too. Vaggie discretly cleaned up her eyes as well, ignoring the snore coming from a pass out Niffty. Not enough violence for her to be entertained.

Charlie declared the whole experience a resounding success. Alastor stand up to announce he would be going to his designated room now. Husk followed up his steps up the stairs until he heard a door closing after him.

Vaggie encommended Husk to take out Niffty to her own room so she could sleep properly, before taking out a still emotional Charlie to their room. The princess of hell wished everyone a good night and they responded in kind. As soon they were both out of earshot, the remaining three sinner gather.

"Bullshit" declared Husk. "Absolute fucking bullshit. Every single word of it. I fucking knew it. I remember the jazz club thing and he had the fucking ring on already. He knows I know it too. Lying piece of shit."

"Yeah, I was about to say, that also sounded weird to me" Angel crossed his lower arms, while the upper ones brushed his hair back. "That is weird, isn't it? Why lie about that?"

"To piss me off, obviously." As soon he said it, Husk just knew that it was true and glared to the door that Alastor had used. "He is literally just playing now. Oh, I bet that fucker is having just the biggest laugh at my expense."

"That wassn't a ssnake either" commented Sir Pentious suddenly, making the other two to stare at him. "Ssnakes aren't that physsically affectionate or even like continuous physsical contact like that. At mosst they tolerate it."

"Speaking from experience?" Angel arqued an eyebrow.

"Excusse you, but I am a man firsst! And for you information, no. I just read about it" clarified Pentious, so absolutely confident on his word that neither of them doubted that he was lying. Seemingly realizing that, he blushed. "I-in any casse, how are we going to decide who won the bet?"

At the other side of the door, Alastor couldn't help himself and let out a low chuckle. Lucifer could feel the vibrations through his entire scaly body.

"What is so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, my love. I was just thinking of an old joke that suddenly sprung to mind."

"Right." Lucifer already knew better than to believe that, but with Alastor frankly anything could be cause for his laughter. "Can I get my hat back? I feel naked without it."

"You are naked, darling." Nonetheless, Alastor did took out the little hat from his pocket and put it on the head of the snake over his shoulder.

"Yes, but now I feel better" Lucifer sighed, lowering his head to rest against the rest of his body, looking around the hallways as Alastor kept walking. "It's not as awful as I imagined."

"Did you strain a muscle reaching for that compliment?"

"Fine, it's disgusting. Has anyone ever told you that other colors beside red exist? Happy now?"

"Appreciate the honesty."

Lucifer rolled his eyes, reaching out to lay on top of Alastor's head between his antlers. He waited until they reached the room designated for Alastor before he jumped in the air, turning into his humanoid form with a red poof.

He smiled a little when seeing that the bed was just as big as their bed in the palace. They had agreed that he would try to spend one night there before making an "official" visit and deciding to stay with the rest of his family. That would be easier than opening up and closing portals from their home to the hotel.

"How are you doing, darling?" asked Alastor, sitting on the bed and patting the space at his side for Lucifer.

"For now it's fine" Lucifer leaned his head against his husband's shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment. He masticated the sorry that wanted to come out of his mouth. Saying sorry for being an anxious mess every time he was outside his palace didn't fix anything. "It's so much easier in animal form. I don't know why."

"I don't mind either way." commented Alastor, slipping a hand between them to rub his back in big circles. "Today you made our daughter happy just being here."

Lucifer smiled, hugging him by the side, holding Alastor by his shoulder.

"I still kinda feel bad we have to lie to her about… you know, that."

"It was your idea."

"Yeah, because I am not proud of it. Doesn't mean I have to like it" Lucifer sighed, letting himself fell to the bed, just dreading what kind of conversation that would be in front of their daughter. "Hey, sweetheart, that cute story we told you since you were born about your dad being a guard and we slowly falling in love was a total fiasco. Yeah, in reality what we actually did was the equivalent of marrying drunk in Las Vegas during a bender. So romantic, huh?"

"Technically speaking you were the drunk one, not me" pointed out Alastor with a chuckle, kissing his cheek as he lat on his side to brush his hair. "I was just minding my own business when suddenly I was teleported to the palace with a ring on my finger. Not even a dinner date."

"I know" groaned Lucifer, turning in the bed to faceplant the mattress. His voice came out muffled against the covers. "That was the most embarrassing shit ever."

"Mmm" Alastor nuzzled his nape, breathing in the scent of his hair for a moment, before he kissed again his neck. "I don't regret anything about how things went."

"Of course you wouldn't." Lucifer rolled his head to look at him. He didn't regret it either, truth be told. He just wished it could have been something to remember fondly, from the start to today, instead of a gradual shift that started on the worst feet possible. "Your story is still so much cooler."

"Considering most of it was improvised on the spot and then I had to remember the details for later, thank you." Alastor stand out to change clothing and bring something for Lucifer, since he really didn't have anything for himself.

In the end he gave him a plain white t-shirt that was still too big for his body and some gym pants that were also too long, almost completely covering his hooves, but at least could be adjusted on the hip so they wouldn't fall out.

"How would you tell it?" asked suddenly Lucifer when Alastor was about to turn the lights off.

"To Charlie?"

"Not necessarily. Just about in general."

Alastor tilted his head, furrowing his brow.

"Do you want me to tell you the story of how we met?"

Lucifer smiled, making the puppy eyes that so many times had condemned the both of them when coming from their daughter.

"Pretty please? You are seriously so good at it. Maybe it will sound less bad if it comes from you."

Alastor thought about it for a moment and then sighed. Flattery did go a long way with him, naturally Lucifer would know that already.

"Sure" said through a yawn, turning the light and getting into bed. Lucifer went to accomodate on his back, his white arms wrapping around his waist, as if refusing to lose their contact. "But tomorrow when we are at our own home, darling. I think that would be the best."

He was tired and wanted to sleep. But more than anything, he didn't want to risk Lucifer having an episode in the middle of it.

"If you need to go back to the palace at any moment, wake me up and tell me" Alastor turned his head all the way to kiss his forehead. Lucifer corresponded by hugging him just a bit closer, nuzzling his back.

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too, dear."

[neowinestainedress]

shattered glasses (all distorted) | lee jeno

title: shattered glasses (all distorted) | part 1 | masterlist | playlist

pairing: lee jeno x fem!oc/reader (no name used, written in third person) | side member: jeong jaehyun, oc's brother!jaemin | mentioned: lee haechan, park jisung, lee mark, suh johnny

genre: smut, fluff, angst, yandere-ish

summary: there’s only one way to survive in a cage made of rose-colored glasses: don’t shatter the glasses, reality will be painful to accept. 

warnings: yandere behaviours, stalking, possessiveness, (a LOT of) gaslighting, love-bombing, fights, violence, implied undefined mental health issues, dark themes overall, smut, voyeurism, masturbation (implied public masturbation), overstimulation, dumbification, oral sex (f/m), unprotected sex, dirty talk, praise, degradation, mentions of anal f receiving, Jeno is not mean as in the first one, but it doesn’t mean he’s better (sigh) | this one is darker than the first one so PLEASE read the warnings and make sure nothing triggers you. Just like the first one, it has no intentions of romanticizing these types of relationships, it’s simple fiction, written to dig deeper into morally grey characters and toxic behaviours that happen even in real life. If you recognize any of these signs of manipulation in your or your friend’s relationship reach out for help.

words: 28.723k

a/n: this was a lot to write, twisted my stomach but I also loved doing it. It would mean a lot to know what you think about it with comments, reblogs or asks. Especially how you feel about the ending because I had so many different ideas in mind and yeah, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

If you click ‘read more’ you agree you consent to what you’re reading and you’re fully responsible for the media you consume.

“Hi, bunny.” 

Her face lit up when she raised it and met Jeno’s eyes. “Hi, love.” Her voice came out loudly, cheering happily as she pushed closed the door of the bar she worked at. The spring breeze ruffled her hair. “I wasn’t expecting you to pick me up.” 

Jeno smiled, leaning down to leave a peck on her lips and giving her his arm so she could intertwine it with hers. “Finished earlier and I missed you, so I thought of passing by. Also, you know I don’t like it when you take the metro.” 

She chuckled, “I’m safe, nothing bad will happen to me.” It had been by now six months since they were dating, to be more correct, since they got back together. Forgiving him and trusting him again hadn’t been easy but not even as hard as she imagined, it was like Jeno had put a spell on her and he was also really good at being forgiven. He took care of her in a way nobody else ever did, maybe too much care. 

“Everything fine?” Jeno asked when, sitting in his car seat, he quickly turned around to stare at her and saw how she was nervously playing with her fingers. 

“Yeah, just, uhm… nothing.” 

Jeno quirked a brow before starting the car, looking at the street to make sure he could get out of the parking lot, but he had no intention to drop the conversation. “What’s going on? Is something bothering you?” 

“Not really, I just… Okay, there’s a new guy at work, and I don’t like the attention he gives me.” 

Jeno almost messed up changing the gear but the tone of his voice was composed as he tried to dig deeper. “Attention?” 

She nodded, thumb trapped in her teeth as she pulled her skin hard. 

He glanced at her, “Don’t do it, you’ll bleed,” he said, grabbing her hand and intertwining it with his, placing them on the stick. “What’s his name?” 

“Oh, you don’t even know him. But it’s fine, I guess he thinks I’m single. He’s nice, though, it’s just clear he’s trying to hit,” she chuckled, smiling dumbly at the way Jeno’s hand squeezed hers tighter. But Jeno didn’t find it funny at all. 

“Of course, he doesn’t know…” The words come out in a whisper, and for a moment he thought about stopping with this bullshit of keeping her a secret. “If he keeps bothering you let me know.” 

“Yeah, but you don’t have to worry. Tomorrow I’ll tell him I’m not single and I’m sure he will stop.” 

“I hope so,” Jeno grunted, letting go of her hand, placing it on her tight, because if he held it as tight as he was holding the wheel he would’ve broken her bones. 

“Can I stay at your place?” She asked when silence fell in the car.

A soft smile crept on Jeno’s face, “Sure, to be honest, you’re always there anyway so why would it bother me today?” 

“I don’t know…” she answered, leaving the phrase pend in the air. 

“Is this again about him?” 

“Who? Jaehyun?” 

“Jaehyun? So that’s his name?” He impressed his name in his brain, with the memo of reminding himself to dig deeper into him. 

“Yeah, but I told you, you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Then what is this about?” 

“My dad, Jeno. We had another fight,” she confessed, sighing heavily, and rubbing her temples in circles. 

“Another?” He asked, holding the wheel tighter. 

“Yeah, you know, the usual. He says he wasted money on me and that I’m a failure. He wants me to pay to live at their place.” 

“Are you for real?” Jeno’s tone got scarier and she turned around to reassure him, but her smile was fake and Jeno knew exactly what her fake smile looked like. “Don’t play with me.” 

“I just don’t want to think about him. You know he always says the same things and then never does anything.” She leaned against the window pane, hoping Jeno would’ve let go. Her relationship with her father had worsened in the last months. Since Jaemin moved out and got an amazing job in a company, her humble work at the bar was something to be ashamed of. And to add to the humiliation her parents felt since she still lived with them, they also rubbed in her face that she was always out — too much for their liking, as if they ever care to worry about them or what they were doing when they were the ones always around the globe for work. 

Jeno was about to talk again but decided to keep his mouth shut, turning on the radio because he couldn’t stand the silence between them. 

But there was something bothering him, thoughts running in his brain the whole evening, running so fast that a painful headache was starting to form. He shook his head, trying to push them out, but the more he stared at her, cuddled up against him on the sofa, laughing at a joke from the tv show they were watching, the more they haunted him. 

“I think you should move in with me.” 

She blinked repeatedly, not sure if he was talking to her or maybe was saying something out of nowhere. 

“I mean it, move in with me.” 

She scoffed, shaking her head, shifting in her seat to have a better view of his face. 

“Do I even have to remind you that you still don’t want my brother to know? Or wait, nobody has to know.” 

Jeno huffed, sighing loudly. “And? Do they have to know where you live?”

She furrowed, was he being serious? 

“And what do I do? Come here without telling my parents?” 

“Just tell them you’re moving out. They don’t want you there anymore. And, it’s not like they’d come visit you anyway. You’re not Jaemin, you don’t get any special treatment.” 

She didn’t answer, gulping because yes, he was right, but why did he have this habit of being so honest? Even if he didn’t have bad intentions he always hurt her so badly. 

“Don’t do that,” he said, making her lift her gaze again. “You know they don’t care about you, not like I do,” he added, caressing her cheek, gently rubbing his thumb on her skin. “You deserve so much better, bunny.” 

She hummed before turning around to face the tv again but this time with a heavy heart. “I — I’ll think about it.” 

“I don’t understand why you always treat me like this!” She screamed, slamming the door of her bedroom, knowing that for sure her father was going to get even madder. And as expected, the door slammed open. 

“Slam the door again and I’ll kick your ass out of this house. You have no idea of all the sacrifices we had to do to build up everything we have and you are a disgrace to your family.” 

“Honey, let her be,” her mother tried to calm him down, but her husband had no intention to listen. 

“Let her be? We gave up, paid for her art school, and look at her now, working in a fucking bar. And all she does is cry. Grow up. Be at least a quarter of what your brother is and then you’ll have my respect.” 

She fell to the floor, hugging her body to try to push her father’s harsh words away but it was a trick that didn’t work anymore. It never worked, not even when she was ten, and hid under the bed, hoping the pain would go away just like that. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’ll look for a better job, I’ll pay the bills, I’ll be the daughter you want me to be.” 

“You will never be her,” her father spat out before the door slammed close again. 

Her first reaction was to grab her phone and search for her boyfriend’s contact but then she stopped. Jeno would’ve told her once again that they didn’t love her and didn’t deserve her but those weren’t the words she wanted to hear. She even thought about calling Jaemin, but he had never been one to support her. He probably hated her more than her parents did. Calling her friends was off the table, they didn’t know what was going on behind closed doors and they couldn’t know. 

So the only solution was to lay on the cold floor and let tears flood her face, trying to don’t be too loud because she got on her family’s nerves even if she breathed too loudly. 

But while she laid there, she thought about what to do about her life. 

Of one thing she was sure, she couldn’t keep going on like this. 

“You feel weird?” Her best friend, Ningning, had asked her, a cute furrow on her face because she couldn’t understand what her friend meant exactly by that. 

“It’s a weird sensation, I don’t know how to explain,” she sighed, letting her head fall on the bed, watching her get ready for a night out she couldn’t go. 

“Maybe you just need to take your mind off this whole new ‘revolutionising your life’ thing,” Ningning proposed, turning around on the chair, while she applied the blush on her cheeks. “Come to the party.”

“I can’t,” she sighed, hugging the pillow. It had been around two weeks by now since she started trying to make her father happier, nothing had changed for now, but she was hoping for better results soon. She started sending her resume to different companies and was also looking for a small apartment she could afford on her own. 

“Hyuck told me Jeno will be there, too,” Ningning said, raising a brow and smirking. 

“Hyuck? Really? Are you two…?” 

“Shut up, this is not about us. Focus on Jeno, I saw the way he was looking at you the last time we went out.”

Right… Jeno. Jeno and all of her friends not knowing what was going on between them. Jeno and the break she took with him two weeks ago so she could fully focus on her life. 

“I don’t have a crush on him anymore,” she replied, sitting on the bed, looking for her phone because she wanted to make sure Jeno wasn’t going to the party with them. But then guilt took over, they had barely spoken in the past days, just a morning and night text every day and some casual checks up two days a week, that was all she could afford; he was too much of a distraction. But it didn’t seem fair to break her own rules because she was afraid of him being surrounded by pretty girls without her around. 

“Are you sure?” Ningning smirked, fixing her black dress, grinning at her friend from the mirror. 

“Yeah,” she sighed, standing up from the bed. “By the way, you look amazing, and I have to go back home.” 

Ningning smiled at the compliment but then her face turned serious, “Wait, about that feeling,” she stopped her before she could get out of the door. “My mom’s a therapist, maybe she can help you with that. You’re really stressed lately,” the blonde cooed, cupping her cheeks and leaving a peck on her forehead. “I want my cheerful baby back.” 

She chuckled, kissing her friend’s cheek before opening the door. “I’ll reach out to her if things get worst.” 

Jeno didn’t want to appear like a perverted psycho, obsessed with her, but he couldn’t understand how everything seemed to be completely fine for her. 

Why didn’t she miss him like he missed her? 

Why was she always so happy? Not that he wanted her to be miserable but wasn’t she going through some shit? So why was she always smiling? Especially with Jaehyun. 

To be completely honest, Jeno didn’t want to stare, not the first time, at least. It happened that he casually passed by the bar she worked at and saw her, giving him her back, cleaning a table that was close to the window but not enough that she could see him. A smile formed on his face, after five days he finally saw her again, soft hair pulled back into a bun by the silk rubber band he had gifted her and her delicate smile dimpling her cheek.

That was all Jeno needed to see to make his day better, right before someone else appeared in his line of sight. A man who must have been no older than four years of them, he was tall, and from the white T-shirt that hugged his body, Jeno could glimpse the outlined muscles beneath the thin fabric. Light brown hair fell softly over his forehead, long enough to cover his dark eyes if he did not move it with his hands. 

But Jeno could care less about him as a person. Why was he so close to her? Why was she laughing with him? Why was she touching him? What could he possibly have said that was so funny that she felt the need to rest her hand on his bicep and smile at him like that, tilting her head, pinching her tongue between her teeth, and scrunching her nose? 

Repressing the urge to enter by slamming the door and dragging her away from him was difficult, but after taking a deep breath he decided to leave. The blood boiled in his veins, and he could not get those images out of his mind. They ran through his mind like the end credits of a movie, something he did not want to see but his mind replayed and replayed as if it wanted to torture him.

So it was just obvious that the next day Jeno found himself there again. 

Jeno had no idea anymore about the shifts she was working, he knew what it was like to work in that bar, practically never the same routine because there was always someone with problems popping up at the last minute. But by the middle of the week, Jeno seemed to get the hang of it. 

She was working every day, all day. Excluded the few hours when she went out, presumably to go to job interviews with the agencies she had contacted. He even wondered how legal all of that was but once again, he wasn’t surprised knowing the place. 

But why?

He huffed, taking off his jacket as he died from the heat even though the car, parked in a strategic place that allowed him to see without being seen, was not started. He had discovered that parking lot a few months earlier, total causality, but he had always liked it because there was something thrilling about being able to spy on her from a distance. And luckily, it was coming in handy now. 

‘How are you doing? Everything okay at home?’

There it was; the first extra message of the week was gone and he could only hope to receive a response that would reassure him. 

But the answer was not coming, and he was beginning to lose patience, puffs of air escaping noisily from his lips as his slender fingers and feet in the black converse tapped at a pace present only in his mind. 

His nervous movements stopped when he saw her exit the bar, smiling as she held the door for someone else. 

Him. 

Again. 

His eyebrows curved as his lips rippled in an expression mixed between confusion and anger. Eyes darkening as the two leaned back against the short wall to...eat? 

Jeno’s eyes moved quickly to the watch around his wrist. 

4 p.m. 

Definitely too late for lunch.

A snack? While they laughed together? And stayed so close to each other?

“Fuck,” he muttered, wanting to roll down the window to hear what they were talking about, but to do so he would’ve had to start the car and they would’ve surely heard him. “Why the fuck does she always laugh so hard when she’s with him?”

Then he remembered that she still didn’t answer, and his fingers tightened even more firmly around the steering wheel. Only to relax when she reached for her phone to answer...

“She’s not answering?” He whispered, watching in disbelief as she said something to him before putting the phone back in her pocket and smiling once again at something he said. 

“Who the fuck does he think he is?”

Jeno had no idea who he was, but he was sure he was going to find out.

When another week had passed, she was wrecked. Not only the full shifts to make some more money were mentally and physically killing her, but that weird sensation seemed to be growing instead of disappearing. She felt constantly watched and Ningning kept telling her that it was just stress, she just needed to relax, or maybe call an exorcist because ‘you’re never sure about the people who have died inside your house and never left.’ 

But she rolled her eyes at her friend’s words, deciding that the best solution was the first. 

So she laid on her bed, luckily for her, her parents weren’t home, so she had this whole Sunday night to herself. 

The temptation to call Jeno was high. She missed him like crazy and even if she wouldn’t have called him over, maybe hearing his voice through a call was better than trying to reminisce him, his tone, his sinful words, or his touches. 

But then she decided not to. 

She had learned a lot of things in these past months, but she was still a bit ashamed of talking about this and the idea of sexting, or whatever it was called, so that stopped her from picking up her phone. 

She could use some imagination. So she tried to replicate what Jeno did. Letting her hands wander on her body, slowly, taking time to let all her nerves wake up and get drunk at the sensation. It wasn’t like getting touched by him, the goosebumps erupting from her skin weren’t even close to the ones that Jeno’s fingers provoked, but it was better than nothing. 

When the teasing got too much, not satisfying her enough, she slipped out of her clothes, laying bare on her bed, sheets crumpled at the end of the mattress as she tried to relax against the soft surface. Her fingers already knew the path, tracing down her skin by memory until they reached the spot she needs to touch the most. Fingertips circling on her clit after gathering the wetness that pooled out of her. 

Her head rolled back as her fingers quickened the pace, moving fast to reach the first climax that already made her feel better, but it still wasn’t enough. So her fingers slipped inside her with ease, pumping and curling inside of her the same way Jeno did, they didn’t reach as deep as him, and she felt like she didn’t know herself as deeply as Jeno did, but if she closed her eyes, she could see him. His body hovering over hers, one hand to keep himself up, pressing on the mattress close to her head, while the other was buried deep into her. Praising how good she was taking him, how messy she was, how desperate she was for him. Already looking wrecked just with a touch. 

“Fuck,” she moaned loudly when she came for the second time, walls clenching around her fingers and chest heaving. 

She stood there for a while, combatted between stopping there or doing more. But then her needs took over and she turned around to search for something in her bottom drawer. 

The toy Jeno had gifted her. 

She could still remember how embarrassed she was when he gave it to her, but she couldn’t deny that it had turned out useful. Not that Jeno ever left her without him for long, but during those rare occasions when they weren’t together, or when they wanted to do something different, she liked it. 

She brought it to her lips, slowly starting to suck it to get it wet, and then pushed it past her entrance, the tip stretching her out before she let it fill her completely. 

“Mhh, so good,” she breathed out, eyelashes fluttering as she moved it in and out. Legs parting more to make it reach deeper and angle it better exactly how she liked it. 

“Jeno,” she started moaning out his name, eyes closed as her brain pictured him instead, his touch still lingering on her skin, his moans filling her ears, his cock rubbing against her insides. 

“Louder.”

“Jeno,” she screamed. It was like she could hear him. As if he was right there, at the edge of the bed, staring at her, boring holes into her skin. 

“Je — Jeno,” she breathed out, so close to coming again… 

Her blood froze in her veins when a loud sound came from outside and the bushes moved. She gulped, toy falling to the side when she pulled it out so fast that she almost hurt herself. Her legs started shaking more, and this time not from pleasure, as she slowly started walking to the window after throwing a blanket on herself. She looked outside, but there was nothing, or better, nobody. She took a breath of relief, maybe it was a stray cat or the wind, it surely was that. 

But when she turned back, she saw her phone on the bedside table, forgotten while she was trying to destress. She walked to it, not even knowing why, but worrying when she saw so many texts from Jeno’s contact but her heart dropped for another reason as she scrolled through them. 

“I miss you.” 

“I know I shouldn’t text you.” 

“I know it’s hard for you but I can’t help it.” 

“I’m thinking about you.” 

“I’m thinking about you while I’m touching myself.” 

“I miss your mouth so much.” 

“are you thinking about me when you touch yourself?” 

“your fingers are not like mine” 

“I wouldn’t stop like you”

“I’d make you come over and over just with them” 

“Are you thinking about me while you pretend – 

That that toy can satisfy you like my cock” 

“what I’d give to feel you again.” 

“to have you spread like this on my bed.” 

“Moan my name” 

“louder”

“I want to hear you”

“you’re so fucking hot when you’re about to come”

She looked around in panic, holding the blanket that was covering her tighter, and ran back to close the blinds. That was just a coincidence, right? He simply missed her and masturbated thinking about her and as a mere coincidence she was doing it too. He must’ve only guessed she was fingering herself, and that she was sucking her toy before fucking herself with it. Probably he was drunk and was just ranting about how badly he missed her. 

It had to be a creepy, odd coincidence. 

She would’ve talked to him the next day. 

“I was thinking that if you need a good job maybe my dad could set you up somewhere,” Jeno proposed. They had finally met after what felt like decades, it wasn’t the type of date Jeno wanted to have — grocery wasn’t exactly how he wanted to spend time with her — but it was better than nothing. 

“If my dad finds out I work for your dad he’d be even madder about it. And why would your father hire me? Because I’m your girlfriend? He doesn’t even know it. And I don’t want to get a job like this.” 

“Well, but you’re smart, I’m sure he can find a place for you.” His father was never a presence emotionally but when it came to money and favors he believed they could replace a hug or a word of comfort, so Jeno was sure he could help.

She shook her head, cancelling something from the list before pushing the kart again. 

“Thanks, but no, I’m dealing with this by myself.” 

Jeno hummed, looking at her while she searched for something on the shelves. “I miss you,” he said for the nth time. “I know why you’re doing this, I know I promised I was going to wait for you but… not seeing you at all is too much.” 

She turned around, pushing him to the side to let an old lady walk next to them. “You think it’s not hard for me? You are the only good thing I have in my life right now and I’m pushing it away to make proud of me a man that probably will never be. How do you think I feel?” 

“But that’s the point. You’re doing this for your father, not for you. When will you put yourself first and stop trying to please others? Especially him. He paid you dust all your life, and gave everything to Jaemin. You could be the Ceo of Samsung one day and it still won’t be enough for him so why are you tearing your happiness apart for him?” 

She swallowed hard, “Lower your voice, please.” 

Jeno scoffed, pushing the kart past her, and ripping the list from her hands. 

“Jeno, stop,” she said, running after him. “I don’t want to talk about this in public.” 

“Sure, or you don’t want to talk about this at all because you’re too busy licking his boots, right?” 

She stopped, feeling on the verge of tears again. “You’re supposed to be my happy place not another source of pain,” she replied, facing him and glaring at him. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized immediately, pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry, I know this is a lot for you but it gets me so mad seeing you crawl for him when he doesn’t deserve you. But at the end of the day he’s your father,” he said, pulling away, caressing her nape, “and I can’t come between you two. I’m sure you’ll make him proud.” 

She lowered her head, rubbing her hands against her arms before she started walking again. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.”  

“I know, I… I know you are. I promise you just until I find a better job and then we’ll get back to before.” 

“He offered you a job?” Ningning squealed, looking at her in disbelief, and shaking Yeri’s shoulders. 

“Are you sure it’s not a scam? Didn’t he just start working at your bar?” 

“He needed some money to have more safety for his and his friend’s business. But when he heard about my degree he was so happy to propose me a place.” 

“Oh, well, that’s good then. I hope it turns well for you, you deserve it.” Her friend cheered, finally happy she could stop stressing over work. 

“Yeah, and now I can also finally spend more time with J — with you, I had missed you so much.” 

“Talking about that,” Ningning said, a grin curling her lips, “Hyuck’s throwing a night at his place. He told me to bring some friends.” 

“Oh, I think I’ll pass.” 

“Weren’t you happy two seconds ago about spending time with us?” Yeri asked, pouting at her and crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

“Yeah, but you know I don’t get along with his friends, we only got close to them because apparently, these two can’t stop fucking.” 

“Hey! Watch your words,” Ningning warned with a threatening pointy finger. “I’m sure it will be fun, come on.” 

“I don’t know, I’ll let you know tomorrow, okay?” 

“You can be so boring sometimes,” the blonde joked, “but it’s fine, we get it if you want to get some of the sleep you didn’t have these weeks.”

“Bunny?” Jeno answered the phone. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, never been better.” 

“Never been better? What happened?” He wanted to ask if her father died but seeing the way she reacted to critics against him it was better not to. 

“I found a job!” She exclaimed cheerfully. 

“Really? That’s amazing, bunny. What company hired you?” He should’ve gone back inside to work, but he was more focused on this. He could finally have her back. 

“Well, it’s not exactly a company,” she explained. “It’s a new business but it’s related to what I studied for. Jaehyunnie was so hyped when I casually talked about my studies that he immediately offered it to me. I had an interview this morning with his other friend that technically will be our boss when we’ll fire ourselves from here and he was so happy about me —”

“Wait, wait, wait…” he said, stopping her in her tracks. “Jaehyunnie?” 

“Oh, yeah, Jaehyun. Remember? The new guy at the bar.” 

Him. 

“And you got so close that you call him by that nickname?” 

“Yeah, I basically taught him everything, it was impossible not to get close to. He’s a really nice friend. And most importantly he gave me this job.” 

Jeno scoffed. 

“What’s so funny?” She asked, not understanding his reaction, smile dropping because she expected him to be happy. 

“No, nothing. When I wanted to offer you, my girlfriend, a job, a well-paid one, in an already started business it was a nasty way to get there with connections, but this is fine.” 

“It’s different,” she replied, her enthusiasm dying as soon as she heard his tone. 

“Oh, really, how? No wait, I know how. You let a stranger help you terribly but not your boyfriend.”

“But — but it’s what I like to do. You said that I shouldn’t have crawled for my father but do what I like.” 

“Yes, but do something that gave you an opportunity. If he had this job why would he work there?”

“It’s already a started business, they’re simply bringing it to Seoul and finally with a physical building. I thought you were going to be happy for me…” Her heart sank in her chest, this was the last reaction she expected. 

“I am, I’m so happy for you. I hope it won’t let you down.” 

“You’re not really —”

“I have to go, bye.”

When the phone shut down, she felt a bitter taste in her mouth. Grunting, she let her body fall against the bed, the sheets hollowing around her frame. She couldn’t get why he acted like this. Why couldn’t he just be happy for her? 

She thought about calling him again or texting him to explain the situation again, but she was too happy to deal with his mood swing, so she grabbed her phone again and texted Ningning instead. 

‘If you save some time to celebrate me, I’m coming to Hyuck’s place.’ 

It took Ningning two seconds to respond and making her smile again.

‘Ofc! I knew I could count on you.’ 

‘I’m sorry for the way I reacted the other day. I know how big you dream I’m afraid he might get your hopes up and you will be even more hurt, and you know why…’ 

‘Make-up dinner at my place? I’ll pick you up at 7?’ 

She sighed, watching the phone light up just when she was done getting ready for the small gathering with the others. She couldn’t lie to him, Hyuck would’ve told him if she went there, and there were high chances Jaemin was going to be there too. So one way or another, Jeno was going to find out the truth. 

‘I can’t tonight, I already have plans. Sorry.’ 

That was not the message Jeno expected to see. 

That was not a message Jeno wanted to see. 

‘Plans? With who?’ 

He typed it out calmly, but inside of him something bubbled, leg throbbing nervously as he waited for an answer that was slow to come. 

What the fuck was she doing? What games what she playing? 

‘I wanted to ask you if you went when I called you yesterday, but then you got mad and I didn’t.’ 

‘I’m going with the girls to Hyuck’s place.’ 

His body froze. 

Haechan? Since when she liked his company? And why the fuck he knew nothing about this? 

‘Is he throwing a party?’ He typed because it was the calmest question that was running in his brain as he walked to his bedroom to change into new clothes immediately. 

‘he didn’t tell you?’ 

‘well, anyway it’s just something small. And it’s also a small celebration for me.’ 

He groaned, picking up the phone and calling her. 

“Where are you?” 

“What do you mean where I am?” She answered, surprised by his tone, a mix between angry, worried and something else she couldn’t point out. 

“Where the — where are you?” He calmed down, opening the front door to jump into his car. “I’ll take you there.” 

“You don’t have to. Ning is coming, it’s the only way to don’t make her pass out.” 

“I don’t care, I’ll pick you up.” 

“You didn’t even know about the party, why can’t I go alone?” 

Jeno stopped the car, afraid he was going to get in an accident. “Now you want to go there alone? Am I getting heavy?” 

“No, I didn’t say that. But, we have to be extremely careful and we can’t be together anyway so just stay at home.” 

Jeno clenched his fist around the wheel. 

“Why do you even want to go there?” 

“To spend time with the girls,” she replied, trying to muffle the annoyed sighs that were threatening to roll out.  

“As if they will spend it with you,” he snorted. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Ningning will be all up Haechan in less than half an hour and Yeri will be kissing Mark as soon as you step inside. What are you left with? Your brother and Jisung?” 

“It’s not a party, they won’t leave to make out…” she mumbled, starting to get nervous, nervously fidgeting with the zip of her dress. 

“Why don’t you just let me pass by and I’ll celebrate you?” 

“You weren’t even happy about my job,” she replied bitterly.

“I explained it to you, please.” 

“They are here,” she replied when the bell rang, grabbing her purse, and rushing to the door. “We’ll see each other another time.” 

Jeno punched the wheel before he started driving to Haechan’s place anyway. He wasn’t going to let her go alone. 

The party, or night together, was a bit of a bummer, right at the moment she didn’t want to prove Jeno right but his predictions came true. 

Her friends had disappeared and she was left alone with her brother, Jisung and two other people she had never met. 

She was even tempted to call Jeno, find lame excuses about how the party ended sooner and spend some time with him, but she didn’t want to humiliate herself like that. Sure, Jeno couldn’t know this had been a failure. 

But Jeno knew it. He had grown up in that house and he knew all the exact spots to see inside without being caught, also helped by Haechan’s habit of keeping all the blinds open. He could see her sitting on the couch, an empty glass in hand and a fake smile on her face as she talked to Jisung. 

‘having fun?’ 

He smiled when she grabbed her phone and smiled after reading his name, but his smile dropped as soon as she locked it again and didn’t answer. 

What was she doing? Was it a way to pretend she was so caught up in the party she had no time to answer him? Smart move, he had to give that to her. 

“Can you go call them?” She asked her brother when it was getting too much, and he rolled his eyes. 

“Why do you want to ruin their fun? Unlike you, they’re having it.” 

“They can fuck when they don’t have guests at home.” 

“They’re not fucking, you would hear them,” he grinned, backed up by Jisung, “but fine, I’ll go call them.” 

As soon as he left she grabbed her phone again, a small smile on her face while she answered Jeno’s texts. 

‘yep, it’s chill but nice. I missed the girls.’ 

‘and you?’ 

He smirked, shaking his head, before bringing it on her again, nervously scratching her neck and looking around. She was so out of place, he would’ve never got why she tried so hard to fit in them. 

‘like shit without you|’

‘like shit|’

‘like|’ 

‘going to sleep soon.’ 

‘can we see each other tomorrow? fix this like adults?’ 

But her answer never came since the girls came back downstairs and her phone slipped into the back of her mind. And Jeno almost hit the window with a punch, he didn’t like how easy it was for her to push him in the back of her mind. 

“This room is so expensive; you spoil me too much.” The suite they were staying in for the weekend was luxurious, she had no idea how much Jeno had spent on it, but it was surely more than she could imagine, and for now, even afford. 

“Had to have you all to myself for a few days,” he replied, grabbing the bottle of champagne and winking at her. 

“I basically moved in with you.” She walked closer to him, sitting on the big crème armchair, watching attentively as he poured the alcohol into the flutes. 

“Basically, but not officially,” he reminded her, eyebrows raising, and a hint of bitterness in the tone of his voice. “Also, your new job is taking you away from me.” 

The laugh that rolled out of her mouth was carefree, but Jeno found it slightly annoying, he wasn’t kidding. The hours of her shifts were weird, and never the same, even if they wanted to, they couldn’t plan anything during the week. 

“So, that’s why you’re taking me away? This is like the third weekend we spent traveling around.” 

Jeno hummed, sitting on the armrest before handing her one of the two glasses. “Don’t you love it? You have me all to yourself for two days straight,” he said, caressing her cheek, before his hand moved down her neck, making her close her eyes at the tickling touch. “No work,” he whispered, taking a gulp of champagne and kissing her, passing the liquid into her mouth, making her squirm and moan once she swallowed. “No annoying father,” he added, kissing her again, tongue playing with hers. “No worries,” he finished, pulling away, placing the glasses on the closest table and pulling her in his arms. 

No friends. And especially no Jaehyun. He wanted to add, but those were thoughts he had to keep to himself. 

So instead of thinking of them, he laid her on the bed, he was going to make her forget about them in another way. 

“Let me take care of you,” he hummed, kissing her jawline, nibbling her earlobe, and making her giggle. “What’s so funny?” 

She shook her head, “I’m sensitive there, it’s ticklish.” 

He smiled, “Do you mind if I kiss you… here?” His lips landed on her neck, precisely on the spot between her jaw and neck, sucking it and pulling away with a loud pop. And then he moved down, kissing her collarbone. His hands promptly pulled her dress off her, revealing her body to him. “The set I got you, uh?” 

She nodded, arms covering her chest, the bralette pushing her boobs up, making her feel exposed. 

“Still hiding from me, bunny? Really?” 

“I’m not used to seeing myself in these things…” she confessed.

Jeno snickered, hand moving behind her back, unclasping it. “Off it goes, then.” 

A moan slipped loudly out of her mouth when his lips wrapped around her nipples, sucking avidly, already making her squirm at the bare touch. 

He had her in the palm of his hands, it was so easy to maneuver her. 

“Will make you feel so good bunny, you will even forget your name,” he whispered after pulling away from her with a loud sound. “Need you to be relaxed, can’t stand seeing you come home from work and be exhausted,” he whispered, moving his hand on her laced panties, rubbing his fingers on her lips, already feeling the fabric get wetter. 

“Please,” she mumbled, the word coming out muffled as she kept her lips trapped in her teeth. 

Jeno chuckled, “Please? You want that baby?” He hummed, fingers pressing harder on her clit as he moved them in circles. “Want me to turn you into a brain-empty bunny?” 

“Yes, please,” she replied, voice barely higher than a whisper, while she forced her eyes open to look at him. Chest already raising faster as he kept teasing her, moving his fingers up and down on the panties, not leaving a single inch of her sensitive zone untouched. 

“Stop squirming, baby,” he ordered, keeping her in place by pressing an open hand on her stomach. “I won’t give you more, need you to be patient.” 

“But I want you,” she pleaded, still trying to stay still and listen to his orders, but it was quite hard when his fingers felt like a mocking tease, barely grazing her and then giving her what she wanted, a back and forth that was driving her insane. 

“I know, bunny, I know, but good girls aren’t greedy, remember?”

She hummed, giving up, it was useless, he always got what he wanted anyway. 

“Come here,” he ordered, swiftly getting off the bed, and waiting for her to follow. “Now,” he ordered when she was staring at him with a confused — slightly disappointed — look on her face. “On your knees,” he said, watching attentively as she positioned on the floor in front of him. “Oh, look at your face, bunny. Eager to suck my cock?” 

She nodded, a shy smile on her face, “You never let me do it…” she whispered, hesitantly placing her hands on his belt, waiting for his nod to start undressing him. “Sometimes I fear I’m not good at it.” 

“Oh, honey, no,” he cooed, thumb caressing her cheek, smirking when her eyes lightened up when she freed his cock from his underwear. “You’re so good, came so far from the messy girl of your first time, remember?” 

“Unfortunately,” she whispered, lowering her gaze, but Jeno cupped her face and forced her up. 

“Look at me, bunny. Keep your eyes on me when you take it all in your mouth, you can do it, right?” She nodded, tongue rolling out, waiting for him to push his tip inside. “Good bunny,” he praised, hand moving back to grab her hair and gently push her on his hard cock. “If you’re good I’ll give you everything you want. I’ll fuck you all night, baby, you want that? Yes, you do, come on, suck it.” 

In a second her head started moving back and forth, at first slowly, wetting it before she started sucking with force. 

“Fuck,” Jeno groaned, throwing his head back, tightening the hold on her hair but not forcing her head against him, giving her complete control. “You’re so good, bunny. So fucking good.” 

The praise got to her head, ass swinging side to side as she shifted closer to him and started reaching deeper, the tip of his cock hitting her throat, nose rubbing against his abs with every thrust. She could feel she was already making a bigger mess in her panties, the way Jeno was looking down at her and how deep his moans were, almost making her come on the spot. 

And Jeno loved how concentrated she was even if she was barely holding it together, always such a good girl, his good girl. A cute furrow creating deep creases on her forehead and big eyes looking up into him.

“That’s it,” he groaned, nails grazing her neck, causing more moans to vibrate around his length. “Want me to fuck you?” He asked, dark eyes staring deeply into hers while she nodded eagerly. “Beg for it,” he ordered.

She was about to pull away but Jeno pushed her flush against him, keeping her there, looking up with confused eyes. “I said, beg me to fuck you.” 

He chuckled deeply when she gagged around him, gargling around his size while she tried to speak, “I know you can’t talk, I don’t really care, you sound so pretty with your mouth stuffed. Beg.” 

She huffed, placing her hands on his thighs to hold herself somewhere and started muffling around him, not a single word made sense and it only caused her to make more of a mess, spit drooling down her chin to the floor.  

“Fuck,” Jeno groaned, throwing his head back. “You sound so pretty when you can’t form a single coherent thought, bunny. Just a mess in my hands, aren’t you?” 

She hummed, trying to nod but the hold he had on her barely made her move. 

“Want me to fuck you dumb, bunny? Yeah? Until your mind goes completely blank?” She nodded, gasping when he pulled her away, sucking in the air in her lungs with greed. 

“Yes, please, please. I want to — want to think about nothing at all.” 

Jeno smiled, thumb brushing her lips, smearing the mix of drool and cum before he pushed it deep into her mouth, thumb pressing on her tongue, triggering her gag reflex. “You don’t gag around my cock, though,” he chuckled while pulling out, cock twitching at her already fucked out eyes. He couldn’t wait to ruin her even more. 

“Open up again for me,” he instructed, a deep moan rumbling in his chest when she obeyed with no hesitation. “I’m gonna grab the back of your neck and fuck your pretty face just how I want,” he said, pushing into her, moving slowly, making her feel the veins of his dick, and pulling out just to tease her lips with his head, “and then I’ll give you all you want,” he groaned as he pushed in, “everything you deserve.” 

Jeno wasn’t gentle, he never was when he lost his mind at the sight of her looking like a mess under him, letting him do whatever he wanted. His hips slamming with force, the lewd sounds of his balls hitting her chin, and the gargling and gagging sounds he was eliciting out of her mouth. He couldn’t last when she started squirming and he knew she was trying to squeeze her thighs to feel something. 

“Fuck, fuck, that’s it, bunny. Take my cum,” he said through gritted teeth, keeping her still against him, while he came into her mouth, so deep into her throat, she had no choice but to swallow, not that she would’ve spat anyway. 

When Jeno pulled out she finally breathed again, head low as she tried to clean the mess on her face, not really making it better since it dripped on her body even more. 

“Jeno,” she screamed when he lifted her up without a warning. 

“What? I doubt you can walk to the bed,” he joked, kissing her and lying her on the soft mattress. “You did such a great job.” 

“No-now can you fuck me?” 

He chuckled at her shyness, shaking his head as he positioned himself between her legs, fingers hooking in the band of her panties, drenched panties, to roll them down her smooth legs. 

“I promised you I would, and I always keep my promises,” he winked before his fingers slipped into her, a broken moan sticking into her throat at the unexpected intrusion. “You’re so wet, you really love sucking my cock, don’t you?” 

She started to answer but Jeno shushed her, “Don’t talk, I don’t need your words, your body is already answering me.” After a few knuckles-deep thrusts, he pulled out, cleaning his fingers on her thighs before starting to pump his cock up and down. Jeno didn’t add any more words before parting her legs more and slowly pushing in, eyes closing as he enjoyed the sensation, every time like the first time. “You always feel so good, bunny, I will never get used to you, fuck.” 

The comment made her smile, eyes rolling in the back of her head, and hips rolling up against him, it was always so much and yet never enough. It was like Jeno made her addicted to him, every time slipping under her skin a bit more, a bit deeper, just enough until there was nobody else left inside of her. 

Just like right now, his big body caging her underneath him, almost folding her in two so easily, playing with her like a chess piece. A frown on his face as he concentrated on the deep and intense strokes inside of her. 

But it was almost as if there was something different, she had no idea if the expensive room had something to do with it, or maybe it was the dinner they had before, probably the alcohol, but her body was on fire, nerves out and head already empty. 

“Jeno,” she could barely sputter out, trying hard to focus on his frame. 

“Yes, bunny, just let go,” he replied before kissing her again, hips fucking against her in a steady rhythm that was already triggering another orgasm out of her. “I want your brain empty,” he moaned. “Don’t want you to worry about anything, just — just focus on me.” His finger quickly pressed against her clit, a buzzing sensation sparkling up in her body, climax hitting before she could even do anything, leaving her gasping with eyes open at the unexpected wave of pleasure. 

Jeno didn’t stop though, he had no intention of being nice that night, he meant it when he said he wanted her brain empty. 

She could barely whine in complaint when he pulled out, swiftly turning her over, strong arms turning her around as if she was lightweight, and that only made her cunt squeeze around nothing. In a few seconds his cock was inside her again, hitting deeper and harder. 

“So pretty, bunny, so fucking pretty,” he moaned, cupping her asscheeks with rough tugs.  

“Jeno, I —”

“I told you, you don’t have to think,” he groaned. “Need to fuck you harder. Come here.” He pulled out again and lifted her up in his arms, walking around the bed. 

She wanted to ask what he wanted to do and if standing up was a smart idea but his words shut her up, he knew what he was doing, she just had to trust him. A scream rippled out of her mouth when his arms slipped behind her knees, holding them up flat against her chest while his cock slipped into her again. Her head rolled back but Jeno groaned, “Keep your head up, I want you to look at me fuck you stupid.” 

Moans and whimpers rolled out of her mouth, barely thinking he already fucked her stupid, he couldn’t do more than this. But Jeno still proved her wrong, they never tried this position before and she felt like her breath was getting caught out. It wasn’t only the position, it was the way his toned arms were flexing with the struggle of fucking her up and down on him, it was the thin layer of sweat pearling his smooth skin, it was in the way his moans and groans hit right against her ear and drove her insane. 

Jeno was everywhere, all over her, inside and outside. 

“See how pretty you are? How good your pussy’s opening up to me?” 

She shook her head, too ashamed to let her eyes meet her reflection in the mirror right where their bodies were meeting. 

“Look down, come on bunny,” he ordered, locking his fingers behind her neck and forcing her head down. 

She moaned louder, the lewd image of cum dripping down his balls and to the floor and the wet sounds caused by his deep thrusts, making her toes curl up. 

“I’m — I’m clo-close,” she whimpered, tears starting to pool at the corners of her eyes. 

Jeno wanted to tease her and tell her to hold it but he couldn’t hold it anymore, and he wanted to wear her out. So his hips started moving faster, hitting her wet spot and making her come in his arms, triggering his orgasm too. He almost fell down on the bed before he laid her down on the mattress. 

“More, please, one more,” she begged, voice hoarse and eyes shiny from tears. “Want to feel you again.” 

“My stupid bunny wants more?” Jeno cooed, fingers slipping inside her, making her shiver, pumping in and out just to tease, thumb rubbing her clit sending sparks down her body. “Want more cock? Need more cock, bunny?” 

She hummed, lips trapped in her teeth, chest heaving, and sweat rolling down her forehead. 

A grin formed on his face before he pushed inside her again, “So warm and wet, bunny. So fucking good for me.” 

A fucked out smile showed on her face but there were truly no thoughts, not coherent at least, in her brain. Too fogged by pleasure and him. 

And Jeno was getting high at the sight of her, nobody else distracting her from him. It was only them. Chants of his name the only word that came out of her plump, swollen lips, together with soft moans and cries. 

“So, pretty, you’re — fuck — you’re so, so pretty,” he groaned, pulling her closer to him, lifting her hips, hitting deeper, fingers dipping with force in the skin of her waist. “My beautiful, precious bunny.” 

The praise shouldn’t have had that effect on her and her heart but it did, because after all that time it still felt surreal that she was his, that after years of yearning she was there, in his arms, that those words and that love were for her. It wasn’t a fantasy anymore, it was their reality. 

“Jeno,” his name came out like a scream, hips rolling back, making him slip even further, causing him to growl at the sight and how much he could feel her. He was about to lose it again, his brain spinning swiftly too as he got lost in the way his cock was stretching her, slipping back and forth with quick strokes. Cum spilling out of her. “Please.” 

“Please, what? Tell me what you want. If there’s any thought left in your empty brain, bunny, tell me what you need.” 

She gasped, nails clenching around the bedding, and jaw locked while hisses rippled out. “Your — your cum, please, please, please,” she wept, tears rolling down her burning cheeks, broken sobs muffling her moans. 

Jeno’s hips started slamming faster against her ass and thighs, so fast she wondered how he didn’t leave marks on her skin. His eyes rolled back when her cunt started squeezing around him with more force, barely giving him space to pull out and fuck into her. 

“Gonna come all over my cock?” He groaned, cupping her cheek, running his hand in her wet hair, before his thumb circled her cheek, rubbing the burning hot skin. “Yeah? All empty in the brain and full in your cunt?” 

“Y-yeah, please,” her voice broke in her throat when the pleasure became unbearable, back arching forming a bow and orgasm rushing all over her body leaving no trace of sanity behind. 

The groans coming from Jeno were groggy and deep, almost animalistic, cunt incredibly tight sucking him, cock throbbing inside her while spurts of white painted her insides. “Fuck,” Jeno muttered through gritted teeth, climax dimming slowly, eyes dropping on her face, tears still rolling copiously on her cheeks and lips letting out heavy puffs of air. 

“You okay?” He asked, lips leaving wet kissing on her jaw, fingers caressing her hair while he slowly pulled out, a river of cum dripping down on the mattress. She could barely nod, eyes already shut, and a small smile on her face. Jeno grinned, kissing her lips, and pulling her close in his arms, he would’ve cleaned her later. 

“I love you so much, bunny, even more when you go dumb on me.” 

Jeno didn’t like it when she lied. And lately, it was happening too often. 

He didn’t even mind if she could feel that he was mad from the way he was looking at her, or that he seemed more distant. 

Why? 

Why was she lying? Why was she treating Jaehyun like a secret? 

“You’re home already?” He asked surprised when he heard the sound of the keys in the slot door. He knew she was home, he was staring out of the window when he saw her get out of a car that wasn’t his, and not even of their friends, and he even knew who dropped her by. 

“Yeah, finished early,” she replied, rushing to him to leave a peck on his lips. “But I didn’t want to make you run there so I came alone.” 

“Took the metro?” He asked, raising a brow, staring at her as she stretched and slumped next to him on the sofa. 

She hummed without looking at him, busy trying to grab the remote controller to turn the tv on. 

“You know I don’t like when you take the metro,” he said, trying to don’t make his voice come out like a growl. No, he didn’t like the metro, but he liked it even less if Jaehyun drove her home. And he liked it even less when she lied to him. 

“I know, but as I said, I didn’t want to bother,” she replied, leaning close to him. He glared at her, but she couldn’t see. “It was empty anyway.” 

That wasn’t the first time she lied, but it was the last straw. 

They were mostly white lies, but Jeno couldn’t understand why she felt the need to tell them. What had happened to be honest with each other? And most importantly, what did she have to hide? 

He had to act. 

“Did you hear something about crime rates being higher, lately?” She asked out of the blue, it was late during a Wednesday night but they both were still up because they couldn’t sleep. 

“Crimes?” Jeno asked, tilting his head to look at her, expecting to find her with the phone in hand, maybe asking the question after reading an article. 

“Yeah…” she replied, “Jaehyun told me that he found all the tires of his car slashed,” she sighed, thinking about what he told her that morning, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. “He was terrified, didn’t sleep all night and was still shaking when he told me what happened.” 

Jeno had to suppress the smirk that was forming on his face and replaced it with a sad pout. “Oh, that sucks.” 

Oh, that worked. 

“But no, I didn’t hear anything, if that calms you down,” he added, upper body twisting so he could look at her and caress her face. 

She hummed, smiling at him. “He was so shaken that he took a week off, and I think he went to stay for a while at a friend’s place.” 

Jeno’s face wasn’t showing the emotions that were going through his mind. But he still couldn’t get why she cared so much about him. And all that for some slashed tires? What kind of man he was? 

“Maybe some time off will be good to think,” slipped out his mouth and she quirked a brow. 

“To think?” 

“Yeah, to process it. And realize that it surely must’ve been a mistake or you know, those teenagers that have fun making trouble.” 

“Oh,” she said, only then getting what he meant. “I guess so.” 

“He’s a grown man, anyway. I’m sure he has nothing to be afraid of.” 

She hummed, moving closer to him. “But it must suck being all alone. I’m so glad I have you, I have nothing to be afraid of.” 

Jeno smiled before kissing her. 

Maybe sanity was starting to fill her brain again. 

No, bunny, you have nothing to be afraid of as long as you have me.

“How do I look?” She asked swirling around, showing off the thigh-length pink dress. 

“Beautiful, bunny. Where are you going?” 

“To the disco, the Kaleido.” 

“There?” He asked, a furrow on his face.

“Why?” 

“Oh, nothing, not a big fan of that place,” he said, showing nonchalance, sure, not happy about her night out but also too lost in the way she looked. 

“You’ll start drooling if you keep looking at me like that,” she joked, drifting her eyes away from his intense gaze. It was the look he had on his face when he wanted to fuck her and she couldn’t say no to that look. But she really wanted to go out with her friends, she couldn’t let him keep her at home. 

“You look amazing in that dress,” Jeno hummed like a melody, getting up from the couch and hugging her. “But I’d love to see it on the floor.” 

“Not now, Jeno,” she replied, trying to push him off, smiling at the pout that formed on his face. He almost looked cute as if two seconds before he didn’t look like a starving animal eager to eat her alive. 

“Let me at least kiss you then.” Their lips met in a heated kiss before she could say anything. His hands cupped her ass and lifted her up. 

“Jeno,” she moaned in the kiss, heart jumping in her chest because she loved when he held her like this and he was the only thing keeping her from falling.

“What?” The smirk on his face was smug and in his voice there were hints of arrogance.

“You know we won’t stop if you keep doing this.” 

“Fine,” he sighed, letting her feet meet the floor again, looking at her in awe. “You know what I’m thinking?” 

She scoffed, “How badly you want to fuck me?” 

Jeno rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “How lucky I am to have you.” 

“Stop,” she whined, pushing him away playfully, trying to calm her heart from beating so fast. She hated how pathetic he made her. Like a teenage girl hearing her first compliment from her crush.  

“You truly are the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

She turned around, eyes skimming the clock before going back on him that was sitting on the couch again. “Are you trying to win my heart to get to my pussy?” 

“I was just telling you how much I love you,” he pouted before making her sit on his lap. “One kiss before you go?” 

She leaned in, kissing him with the intention of pulling back soon after but it was like Jeno was drawing her in, and in a second her hands were in his hair while his caressed her back. She really should’ve pulled back but instead, her body turned to him and when her hips started grinding against his lap, the groan that rolled out of Jeno’s lips was the last straw that made her change her mind. 

“You’re not going anywhere tonight,” he moaned, lifting her up, and flipping her body against the couch. 

His hands were fast on her body, lifting the pink dress over her shoulders, leaving her half exposed to him. 

“Gonna give you a good reason to make you stay here every time, so you don’t even think about going in a dirty, shitty disco club.” 

Her head rolled back, ashamed at how hot she found him and his voice. Ashamed that she found him so attractive when he turned so protective. 

“Jeno,” she cried out when he wrapped his lips around her covered cunt, wetting the panties as he sucked her lips and pulled away with a loud pop. “White lace, wore this for who? Some average man that doesn’t know how to fuck you right?” 

She shook her head, trapping her lip in her teeth when he started to rub her clit through the underwear. “For you.” 

“For me?” He snickered, tilting his head to the side. “And you were going to leave me?” 

“When I — when I came home,” she whined, rolling her head back in reaction to his mouth wrapping around her again. His slick soaking the panties with every rough movement of his tongue and lips working in sync. 

“They were already wet,” he hummed against her, nose rubbing against her clit, sparking fire into her. “Should be glad I added to mess to hide how desperate you are.” 

“Nngh,” she blubbered, nails scratching the sofa, moving her feet messily to get rid of the heels so she could plant herself on the surface under her. 

“That’s it, just moan for me, no need to answer. You are desperate. Always have been, always will be.” Jeno’s fingers pressed against her entrance, the cold of the wet panties sticking to her skin making her shiver even more, adding to the teasing of her hole begging to be filled and sucks on her clit. 

“You — you’re messy,” she breathed out, looking down at Jeno and how wet she was down there. 

“I am messy?” He asked, chuckling, pulling away, ripping the panties off her before facing her cunt again. “This,” he collected the cum dripping out of her, “it’s not mine. But if you want I can add to your mess,” he smirked before spitting loudly on her clit. Her head rolled back, eyes squeezing shut and lips parting open. “I will give you that we are messy.”

No reply came from her when he restarted where he had stopped, eating her out loudly and intensely. Strong hands wrapped around her thighs and ass to keep her spread open and deep moans vibrating through her body making her stomach twitch. 

It wasn’t possible to hold back the pleasure, so strong it was almost painful as he kept torturing her clit with sucks and licks, riding the waves of pleasure until she was left hiccupping on moans and sobs. 

“Jeno,” she screamed out, hands pushing on his head to pull him away. Shame creeping on her body when he lifted his head and his chin was covered in her juices.

“Fuck, I — I need to warn them I won’t go,” she breathed hard, lifting her upper body up, and turning around to look for her phone. 

“Searching for this?” Jeno asked, pulling it from behind him where her small black bag laid. 

She hummed, shaky hands searching for her friends’ contact as soon as she could and she was about to do it if only Jeno didn’t slip two fingers inside her, phone falling badly on her chest as the grip on it loosened. 

“Jeno, please.” 

“Text your friends,” he ordered, pumping his fingers faster. “Tell them you can’t go because getting fucked is so much better than dancing with them all night. Tell them how badly you need me and my body.” 

The moan that rolled out of her lips was embarrassing, a natural affirmative response to his dirty insinuation. 

“I — I need to come up with — fuck — an excuse,” she cried, fingers typing out words before she cancelled them over and over again. 

“No excuses baby, tell them the truth. Tell them how desperate you are. Tell them how you started grinding on me like a bitch in heat.” 

“Fuck,” she moaned. Swiftly typing, ‘can’t come, period came before the due day, hurts like hell.’ 

“Did you tell them?” Jeno asked and she could feel the smirk on his face even if her eyes were closed. “No? You don’t want them to know? Want to keep this a secret all to ourselves?” 

“Yes,” she breathed out, hips jerking against his palm. “Need you.” 

“Oh, I know you do,” he cooed, pulling out to slap her clit sharply. “Dripped all over my hand, stained my new couch with your arousal.” 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, trying to say more before Jeno cut her flow of air, slipping into her cunt with no warning. “Jeno, fuck,” she cried out, eyes wide open, staring down where they met. 

“Didn’t you want this?” 

She nodded, trapping her lips so tight it started bleeding. “Yeah, yeah.” Her head rolled back since he immediately started with powerful fast strokes, pushing her legs flat against her chest, sliding into her deeply. 

“You’re so pretty when you look like a mess under me, bunny. No trace of that innocent girl you used to be,” his voice was deep, rumbling in her ears while he lowered to mark her neck. 

“Do-don’t…” 

“Don’t?” He snickered. “Don’t want me to mark you? Don’t want people to know you’re mine?” 

She mumbled no sense. 

“As I thought, it’s not your place to think, bunny. I got it. I know what’s best for you, fuck,” he groaned, sinking his teeth deep into her skin, ripping a scream out of her throat. “Gotta make sure nobody comes close to you, baby girl.” 

“I — I wouldn’t let them,” she whimpered, back arching when he started thrusting into her harder. 

“I know, you’re my good bunny, aren’t you? You know who you belong to. Who do you belong to?” 

“You, I — I — fuck — belong to you.” 

“Good bunny, good fucking bunny,” he groaned before he kissed her again, roughly and messily, pushing her legs up, hips slamming against her ass with loud sounds that resonated in the whole room. 

“Jeno,” she screamed, pleasure fucking her brain just as hard as he was fucking her physically. It was true she didn’t have anybody but him, her ex aside, but fuck, he was so good, he knew exactly what she wanted and needed. It wasn’t possible to resist it. 

“Wanna come? Already?” 

She moved her head swiftly, threads of moans slurring out of her lips as the knot on her stomach tightened incredibly hard. 

Jeno groaned, “Fuck, you’re so perfect taking my cock, bunny. So, so good for me. Come for me, come for me, do it,” he urged, rubbing her clit, making her body still as the orgasm hit her hard. “Fuck,” he growled, head falling in the crook of her neck. “Always so fucking tight and warm.” 

She didn’t reply, no more air in her lungs to emit a single sound but it seemed that Jeno wasn’t done at all. 

“Come here,” he ordered, pulling out and moving her so that her elbows were resting on the couch back rest. 

“What — what are you doing?” 

“Fucking you again.” 

“A-agai — fuck,” she gasped when his cock eased into her swollen cunt another time, pushing out a disgusting amount of cum and stretching her sensitive walls more. 

“I can’t let your night go to wasted with just one round, bunny.” 

She hummed, head falling limp in front of her, body trembling because it was the third round technically and she felt weak in the knees. She wanted to whimper how good it was, but she could only cry out moans and whimpers, the position too good, sending the waves of pleasure straight to her brain like electric shocks, knocking her out. 

“You love it when I fuck you like this, don’t you?” She hummed. “I know, bunny, I know. Feels so good, doesn’t it? Cock turning you into a brainless mess, you love not having anything to worry about.” 

“Yes.” 

Jeno slapped her ass. “Maybe I should fuck you here.” He spat, saliva dripping on her rim, thumb pressing against the tight hole. 

“Jeno, no,” she cried out, cracking her neck to turn toward him. 

“Don’t want that? Don’t want me to fuck your pretty ass?” 

She shook her head, pussy clenching when he kept pressing on it without pushing past the tight ring of nerves. “Feels wrong.” 

“Oh, bunny, no. You’re with me, it can’t feel wrong.” 

She wanted to articulate more but the thoughts weren’t even forming in her brain. Jeno surely wasn’t going to do it anyway, so she let it fall. But when she felt the tip of his thumb press in she turned around. “Jeno, no.” 

“Just my thumb,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. “Can you take just my thumb? I won’t even move it.” 

Her eyes moved around with rapid movements, shame creeping up on her just at the idea. And he smirked. “Oh, bunny, you think it’s too nasty?” 

She nodded, biting her lips, and drifting her gaze. 

“No, look at me,” he ordered, cupping her chin with his free hand. “It’s not nasty for me, nothing of you will push me away.” 

She blabbered something but it wasn’t a proper answer, more like another useless complain or vain try to make it make sense. 

“Let me take care of you.” When another loud spit sound filled the room, she closed her eyes, too ashamed to focus on what he was doing. Moans choking her when he pushed his entire thumb in, never stopping the hard thrusts of his hips. 

“Was it so — fuck — so traumatic?” 

She shook her head, finding it odd but not painful, somehow feeling his thumb press against her front and rub against his cock that was stretching her wide. 

“I told you, you have to trust me, bunny.” 

“I — I do,” she whimpered, voice almost gone. 

“Touch your clit,” he ordered, head rolling back when she immediately followed the instructions. “That’s my good girl, fuck. Rub it fast.” 

Their moans got louder, the pleasure doubling when she started touching herself, her walls clenching around him tighter, wetness dripping out with every move. 

“Fuck, so tight I can barely pull out of you,” he groaned, jaw clenched and head thrown back, some strands of black hair falling on his forehead. “So good, the best in the whole fucking world, bunny. My perfect girl.” 

The comment got to her head, fingers stopping for a second as it was getting harder to concentrate on anything, even if it brought more pleasure. 

“Please, wanna come,” she babbled, looking past her shoulder to glance at him. 

Jeno pulled out of her ass, grabbing her wrists and holding them together behind her back. 

“Want to come?” 

She nodded swiftly, drool dripping out of the corners of her lips, shamelessly rolling down her chin and dripping on her boobs. 

“Say thank you,” he groaned, pulling her hair back, pressing her flat against his broad chest. “Come on, babe, you can do it.” 

“Tha-thank you,” she cried, “thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

“Fuck,” he groaned, hips slamming against her ass with so much force to leave marks behind. Pace faltering when she clenched around him and came, tight walls squeezing so much they triggered his orgasm too, emptying himself into her with loud moans. 

“Oh, God,” she screamed, clenching her teeth and trying to let her head fall but it was impossible in his firm hold. Feeling another orgasm rip out of her. “Thank you, tha-thank you.” 

Jeno huffed, body collapsing on hers, pressing her against the backrest. “You’re welcome,” he moaned, kissing her shoulder and smirking when he saw her lidded eyes. “You’re so welcome.” 

“Another weekend where you won’t be here?” Ningning asked, positioning the phone better so her friend could see her and not the make-up she was applying. 

“Can you please hire me for this new job, too?” Yeri joked, coming into the frame, and pushing her blonde friend to the side. 

She chuckled, shaking her head at her friends’ antics. “It’s not with the job money.” 

“Your dad?” 

“Nope, not even him.” 

“Oh, God, you have a sugar daddy and you didn’t tell us?” Ningning squealed, sitting better on the bed, almost pushing Yeri on the floor. 

“Shut up, I just won’t be here,” she huffed, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“Are we even sure we’re doing that bbq? It should rain on Sunday,” Yeri commented, watching the weather app on her phone. 

“It’s raining? I should warn Jeno —” She chuckled awkwardly, trying to quickly come up with something to fix her mistake, “he’s driving you there, right?” 

But her friends were already staring at her with an expression mixed with shock, curiosity and incredulity. 

“What are you hiding? Be honest.” 

“Nothing,” she replied, trying to fake her honest voice but they knew her, even if her hands weren’t in the frame they could bet their life she was pulling a hangnail nervously and her anxious nibbling on her lower lip was a giveaway she was lying. 

“Nothing my ass,” the blonde said, placing a closed fist on her hips and glaring at her. “What’s going on between you and your mortal enemy.” 

She licked her lips before sighing undefeated. “Promise you won’t tell my brother?” And those words were all it took for them to erupt in a loud cheer from the screen of their phones. And she couldn’t really resist their questions and soon she found herself explaining them everything — well, partially everything, she surely couldn’t talk about the bet. But she was finally free to rant about her story, too. It was thrilling, she only had one boyfriend all her life and it had been some time before Jeno, so she was never the one going around telling her love adventures. 

“So, he’s been spoiling you all this time and you didn’t tell us anything?” 

“He just takes me on those trips almost every weekend. It’s a nice getaway. He says it’s to stay away from everybody. Just us.” 

Her friends cheered again, complaining how they deserved someone that would spoil them so much too, and also still shocked because he was the last person they expected would treat her like that. “And wait, are you planning on moving in with him?” 

“He asked me to, but technically we’re a secret.” 

“Not anymore,” Yeri exclaimed, pointing between her and Ningning.  

“Well, yes, nobody else knows. And please, keep it like this.” 

“But why? Is this your choice or his?” 

She forced a smile on her face, the whole thing still made her quite said, but tried not to show it. “His, just because of Jaemin.” 

“I don’t think Jaemin would mind,” Ningning said, and Yeri nodded in agreement. 

“I don’t know, he’s so balked about this whole thing…” 

“Maybe you should talk to him. You make such a pretty couple, it’s a shame the world doesn’t get to see it.” 

And with the idea of maybe finally being free in plain daylight, she confessed to him that it slipped and her friends knew. Sure, she knew he wasn’t going to be happy about it, but she wasn’t even expecting this reaction. 

“What do you mean they know?” His tone was calm, scarily calm, the typical one that promised a storm. 

“They were asking why I was away again and one thing led to another and then I brought you up out of nowhere.” The smile on her face dropped when after looking into his eyes she saw they were dark and a furrow was almost connecting his brows.

“You’re fucking absurd.” 

“What? Why are you mad?” 

“Why am I mad?” He asked, a bitter, low, scary, chuckle rolling out of his lips. “You had one thing to do. We had a promise, we fucking swore to don’t tell this to anybody.” 

“They basically dragged it out of my mouth,” she tried to defend herself. “We were talking and you crossed my mind and it slipped.” 

“Yeah, you never do anything thinking about the consequences of it. First, you didn’t mean to dance with Haechan, then you didn’t mean to cut me off your life for a month, and you didn’t mean to always stay late at your job. You never mean it. You just fuck things up. You don’t think about me. And I have to act cool about it.” 

She stood there frozen, chest moving faster as she felt her pulse accelerating. “Why are you…” she stopped, shaking her head. “Okay, half of these things are not my fault or are not real. I fucked this up because I was thinking about you. They asked why I couldn’t be at their bbq and I said I was busy and then Yeri brought up that it was raining and I thought about telling you. It was a whisper but they heard and it’s not my fault you don’t even want to pretend we’re friends. Maybe like that I could’ve hidden it, I could’ve made them believe that your name crossed my mind, but do I have to remind you that people think we hate each other?” 

He snorted. “People think I hate you. Everybody knows you have a crush on me, so yeah, you could’ve found a way to turn this over. But I guess gossiping with your friends it’s better than thinking about our relationship.” 

“I think about our relationship. How is this damaging for us?” 

“Are you for real?” 

She groaned, clenching her fists hard, “Yeah, stop… stop doing this and just answer me.” 

“Your little friends can’t keep their noisy mouths shut, so guess who will find out?” 

She rolled her eyes, head moving back in an exasperated movement. “You grew up with him why are you so afraid of my brother? Are you hiding something? Are you once again hiding something from me?” 

“God dammit. You see, in every fight you do this. You always bring it there. I don’t want people to come between us. I don’t want people to speculate about me and you. I don’t want people that never cared for you to come between us just so they can drag you away from me.” 

“But he’s my brother how could he? He only would do it if he knew something about you that I don’t know about… and it wouldn’t be surprising.” The last words were supposed to be a whisper but nervousness made them come out like a bitter retort. 

“It wouldn’t be surprising?” Jeno asked, raising a brow. “Fine, you know what, tell your friends that just how they found out we’re together they find out we’re done.”

“What?” Her eyes snapped open on him, thinking she heard wrong, that a small thing like that couldn’t lead to this, but there wasn’t a sign of joking on his face. 

“You don’t trust me. You lie to me. Always. You… you don’t love me. Why do I have to be with you like this?” 

“I do, I never said I don’t. Jeno, please, don’t,” she almost screamed when he tried to walk past her. 

He sighed, crossing his arms on his chest and staring down at her. “Then why do you say those things? What would I hide from you? I do nothing but treat you like a fucking princess all day, protect you from all the shit that happens in your life, take you to pretty places to be together, and spoil you some more and you think I have something to hide from your brother, or you. Tell him,” he ordered, making her shake at the coldness of his tone and the tenseness of his jaw. “I said, pick the fucking phone up and call him.” 

“No — no,” she stuttered, backing away, feeling the tears clog her throat. 

“No?” He cooed, tilting his head. “Now you don’t want to? Why? You were so eager to let your brother know you’re dating me, what happened? This is a fucking revenge, isn’t it? He mocked you since he first found out you were head over heels for me and now you have to slap him with our relationship. That’s all I am to you. A vendetta.” 

“What? No, why would you… what makes you think that?” 

“The way you act makes me think that. The way you need constant validation from others because you can’t think with your brain. Once it’s your father and then it’s your friends and then it’s your brother. Why can’t you just enjoy what you live for yourself? Why do you want the whole world to know what you do or who you love? You need them to side with you, right? Were they happy? Were they cheering for you? Do you think they are truly happy for you?” 

She didn’t know what to say, dumbfounded by his attack of words and the emotions she was feeling. 

“They… they are my friends, I… I just wanted to share how good you make me feel.” 

He nodded dismissively. “Sure, they will always have your back, always stick up for you and support you, right? Until you do something they don’t like…” 

“They are not like that, they care about me, they were so happy for us —”

“Yeah, and how long will it take for that happiness to turn into jealousy? How long will it take before they will go around putting weird thoughts in your mind? Making fears and doubts creep in?” 

“They… they—” 

“They won’t ever do it, yeah, I know. You still can’t see who you surround yourself with,” he almost groaned, tugging his hair, irritated. 

“I… I’m sorry,” she whispered, voice trembling. “I will tell them it was a joke, you, you can… we could fight tomorrow if we go with them so they will believe me. I didn’t… I would’ve never imagined it could hurt you this bad or else I wouldn’t have done that…” Her eyes could barely look at him, even if his face had softened all of a sudden, and his shoulders had dropped while he started walking closer to her. She hated being a disappointment and it seemed that with every step she took she would hurt him.

“I’m not mad for me. I’m mad because I know my reputation and what people think of me, and I don’t want their biases to haunt you too. I don’t want their ignorance about my persona to make you fall out of love with me. I don’t want them to drift us away because we deserve each other. You… God, life has been so unfair to you and now that you have a good thing, I’m sure people will try to take it away from you. That’s why I’m so mad. That’s why I wanted you to keep this, us, a secret, your little secret that nobody could ruin and stain with their unwanted opinions.” 

She hummed, bringing her thumb to her lips and biting the skin while looking at the floor, trying to hide that and the tears that were filling her eyes to the brim. 

“Your friends might not do it, I give them the benefit of doubt, but everyone will know, and some other people will love to try to burst our bubble of happiness apart. And I don’t want it taken away from you. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be loved, so loved that… that your heart will explode with how much love you’re feeling. I don’t want people to hurt you.” 

She nodded, falling into his hold. It always ended like this. Her poison and her remedy. 

“I’m doing this for you, bunny,” he whispered, breath fanning against her hair, while his hands caressed her back. “Everything I do is to protect you.” 

There were many reasons why Jeno didn’t want to be public, but one of them was that since their friends knew about them, they were forced to go out together. He couldn’t use the excuse of hating having her so close and not being able to touch her, or kiss her, or even talk to her because technically they couldn’t even stand each other before they dated to convince her to stay at home. 

And so here he was, trying to make his way into a crowd of people, looking for her. She walked away from their booth to get drinks by now more than five minutes ago and he was starting to worry. 

“Where the fuck is she?” Jeno murmured to himself, gagging when someone hit him, sweaty bodies getting on his last nerve. “God, when I find her…” But there she was, at the bar counter, drinks in front of her while a man was talking to her. 

He stared at the scene, trying to calm himself before reacting badly. He couldn’t react there. And he was trying to, he really was. That was until the man’s hands lingered a little too close to her and his eyes bored holes into her, staring at her as if he wanted something more. Something that belonged to him and him only. 

“What the fuck do you want from her?” Jeno’s voice coming out in a growl made her jump, scooting over to give him space to move between her and the stranger. 

“We were just talking,” she replied, confused by his reaction. 

“Just talking? You just don’t see how men look at you, don’t you?” 

“Man, calm down.”

“Don’t give me that tone and don’t look at me like that,” Jeno warned, glaring at the stranger, fist clenching at his side. 

“Getting too heated up for a cheap slu—” he didn’t finish the remark, a punch hit him straight in his face, making him stumble backwards. 

“What the fuck!” The man screamed, touching his aching face in surprise.  

“You watch your mouth before you talk about her.” 

“Nobody wants to steal her from you,” the man replied, the arrogant grin on his face still there. 

“You seemed rather interested.” 

“Her ass is all out man, everyone would want to smash,” he mocked, and Jeno was about to punch him again but she pulled him away, blocking his wrist. 

“Let’s go home,” she whispered, a fight in public was the last thing she wanted to happen.  

“Yeah, go home to fuck her like she has been begging me to… if you can satisfy her.” 

She was about to tell him that she never said those things but Jeno slipped out of her hold before she could do anything. The mess that blew up was enough to make a crowd surround them, their friends included, and Jeno only stopped punching that man when Haechan, Jisung and Mark pulled him away. 

“Man, stop it! Come on, stop it,” Haechan shouted, trying to block him. 

“You know shit about what he said,” Jeno retorted, eyes fuming and chest panting. 

“We should go,” she intervened, shielding his body, hoping nobody there pulled out a phone and filmed a video if they both wanted to have their reputation intact. That was the last thing she needed to get on her father’s nerves more and disinherit her forever. “Jeno, come on, let’s go home,” she said, cupping his face to make him look at her and not at the man behind them. 

“Are you okay?” Ningning asked her, going for a hug, but Jeno’s arm came between them as he moved his girlfriend to the other side. 

“She’s fine, we’re going home,” he snarled, giving a quick glance at the others.

“You won’t even tell us what happened?” Haechan asked, shocked by the way he was behaving. Jeno never backed down from troubles but get into a fight? And for his girlfriend? Haechan had flirted with some of them straight to his face and Jeno never blinked an eye, so what the hell was going on there? 

“It’s none of your business.” And with that, they walked out of there under their friends’ shocked gazes. She could barely follow his hurried steps while she looked back and murmured apologies to her friends. 

The ride back home was silent, music blasted to shut down their thoughts. And she felt grateful for that because she couldn’t hide how scared she was at the moment. Jeno never acted like that, the punches that crashed against that man’s face were hard and full of strength and she wondered what else would’ve caused that reaction in him. 

He didn’t believe what that man told him, right? He wasn’t mad at her, too? She wasn’t sure and she was too terrified to even ask one of the thousands of questions that were tormenting her. Jeno probably had his own version of the story and would’ve never listened to hers, probably he would’ve even blamed her because at the start he had proposed to get the drinks while she waited with the girls, but no, she had to insist and now here they were. 

When the car stopped, she gulped hardly before making her way out, the slam of the driver’s door, causing her to jump in her place. Jeno didn’t even spare her a glance as he walked to the porch, broad shoulders lifted up and head low, jaw tense enough it could cut like a knife. 

She tried to don’t cry, at least to don’t sob like a child, but it was hard when the front door closed behind them and he still didn’t say a word. 

“You — you’re bleeding.” Her voice was shaking, broken by silent tears that were all clogged up in her throat. 

“I’m fine,” Jeno replied while sitting on the couch with his head low. 

So that was it? Acting as if nothing happened? 

“I didn’t tell him those things, I was trying to go back to you when he kept talking to me.” She couldn’t go to sleep with no closure, she couldn’t sleep with him by her side if she didn’t feel safe knowing he wasn’t mad at her. 

The sound that came out of his lips startled her, a laugh? A bitter sigh? She couldn’t describe it, but she couldn’t even get it because there was no reason for anything other than ‘I know, I’m not mad at you,’ to come out of his mouth. 

“If it’s not him, it’s somebody else…” Jeno whispered, head still low, lips pulled in a tight, bitter smirk that she couldn’t see — luckily she couldn’t see, or else it would’ve scared her even more. 

“Who are you talking about? I spent the entire night with you. I thought we were having fun until that happened.” 

When Jeno got up, she took a step back, heart jumping in her throat but he didn’t walk toward her, he didn’t even answer as he made his way to their bedroom. 

She took a deep breath and ran after him. Yeah, ran. Like always. Running after him like they were on a wheel, running until her feet hurt and the pain was unbearable. 

“Jeno?” 

“Leave me alone.” 

“I can’t leave you alone, I didn’t do anything, it’s not fair that we go to bed angry because of a stranger.” 

“It wouldn’t have happened if you listened to me and stayed home,” he remarked while he unbuttoned his shirt, bleeding knuckles staining the white texture. She shivered at how it seemed that he wasn’t feeling any type of pain, before her brain turned its attention to his words. 

“You’re blaming me?” Her brow quirked, and her lips twitched in a confused grin. 

“Who’s the one that always wants to go out with them? Who’s the one that hates spending some fucking time with me alone? Who’s the one that never listens to the other? I told you to stay with your dear friends and let me handle the drinks, but you had to go there, alone. Wearing that skimpy dress that had already attracted too much unwanted attention on you. But you don’t notice, you never notice anything of what goes around you. Too busy dancing and swinging your hips because you have me to protect you and you know it, but then I do, I protect you, and I am the bad guy.” 

Her brain tried to follow him, but he was saying so many things, accusing her, attacking her, defending her, loving her that she didn’t even know what to say or how to feel. 

“We — we were together, I thought you enjoyed it as long as we were together,” she mumbled the only things her brain could come up with, the only things that seemed to make sense.  

“I hate those things.” 

She blinked. He had spent his high school and college years throwing parties, how could he hate them now? But she had no time to dwell over that because his words were falling on her like a rain of arrows, attacking from any side, leaving her too astonished to actually react. 

“But you wouldn’t know. You’re too busy paying attention to your friends that barely know you. They don’t even care about you. Have you seen how they were looking at me because I defended you? They hate you. They don’t think you’re deserving of love and protection. If he said the same things to their faces they would’ve laughed and maybe even encouraged you to leave with him.” 

“Ningning would never, she was worried about me.” 

“She always drags you into these problems first, don’t you see? She convinced you to go to Hyuck’s party and didn’t pay attention to you. She makes you buy all these dresses that bring trouble. She started talking to you seriously again just so she could arrive at Haechan.” 

She stared at him, tears falling down her cheeks silently. “That’s not true. She was in China, of course, she didn’t talk to me just as much.” 

“Good, also licking her ass because licking your father’s not enough.” 

“Leave them out of this,” she tried to fight back, but all the rational thoughts had seemed to slip out of her mind. “And I’m free to dress however I want. If they look at me, they are the disgusting pervs, you can’t get mad at me.” 

“Good, next time I’ll let him touch you, call you a slut, and why not, maybe even fuck you in the middle of the club so you’re happy about it.” 

“I never said any of those things,” she cried, fingers dangling in her hair, feeling at her limit. “Can we please talk?” 

“We are talking, you don’t want to listen to the truth,” he hissed, walking past her to go out but she stopped him. 

“You’re still bleeding.” 

“As if you care about me.” 

She stared at his back in disbelief. How did a night out turn into this? 

“I love you,” she screamed, opening the bathroom door he had closed himself into. 

“Then prove it to me. You almost left me for a month, then you only focused on your job and your new little friend, and now you always spend time with our group of friends. Where am I in your life? Do I even matter anymore?” 

“I can care about you and other people at the same time, it’s not, it’s not like one thing excludes the other, please. Be fucking serious.” She got mad. Voice louder and tone firmer as she gained back some confidence. 

“See, you’re doing this again.” 

“No,” she retorted firmly. “You are doing this. You are the fucking problem. Punching a man in public knowing our families’ reputations could go in shambles, treating our worried friends like shit because you think you have some kind of control over me and then coming to our home and treating me like shit because my life doesn’t revolve exclusively around you. You are insane. Fucking sick in the head.” 

She was done. Head exploding and heart racing for the adrenaline and also for the fear that rushed down her spine when she met Jeno’s eyes. Black. Empty. Before they got back to normal. But she had no time to stay there and watch him going through his usual thousands of different changes.

Rushing back to the bedroom she grabbed her tote bag, opening the closet to put in some clothes for the night, and her phone. 

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Jeno groaned, reaching her at the front door with big steps. 

“To Ningning’s, because she cares about me unlike you!” 

When his hand wrapped around her wrist and with a swift movement he pulled her body from the door she gulped, shaking as she watched him lock the door before facing her again. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said. “And don’t even think that I don’t care about you! Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you are the problem. You never really forgave me about that stupid ass bet so you lead us here. Fighting because you don’t trust me. Screaming because my love is not enough. It will never be enough for you. Tell me what should I do. Tell me what the fuck should I do to show you how much I love you? Do you want me to go to the end of the world for you? Do you want me to climb the highest mountains? Do you want me to kill for you?” 

Her breath got stuck in her throat when Jeno broke down crying, body slumping on the floor, knees cushioning the hit and head low as sobs resonated loudly through his ribcage. 

She let her bag fall to the floor before her body did the same, kneeling in front of him to caress his wet face and meet his broken eyes. 

Jeno had never cried. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, letting their forehead touch and pulling him closer. “I didn’t mean it, I was angry, I wasn’t in me. I would never think that your love is not enough, Jeno. I swear I forgave you, I trust you so much but… but all this screaming and crying and the way…” The way he talked to her. The way he twisted her words and used them against her, words that most of the time she didn’t even say. The way she never knew what to expect from him. All of that and so much more, fucked her up, but she didn’t say it. It was just a dumb fight, they were both tired and it happened. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not listening to you when you worry about me. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I don’t love you enough. I do… I love you so much,” but I also love my friends, “I promise I’ll try to make up more time for you.” 

Jeno hummed, falling apart in her hold, letting her warmth embrace him as tears wet her clothes and the blood still rolled down his hands. 

“Let’s take a warm shower and heal those wounds,” she proposed, lifting his face, wiping away his tears, finding comfort in the way his eyes got back to normal, still sad, but there was no craziness behind them. 

So water was running over their bodies, warming them up and washing away the tiredness and the adrenaline. Her hands combed his hair, massaging them gently before she started cleaning his body too. 

“Is this scar new?” She asked when she reached his back and saw a scar she never saw before, it was a weird place, between his hip and thigh and it wasn’t too big but it looked like it had been sewed badly. 

Jeno shivered when her hands ran there. “It was an accident.” 

“An accident?” She asked, raising a brow, trying to read his expression. 

Jeno only hummed. “I’m fine, I don’t want to talk about it now.” 

“Yeah, it’s okay,” she replied and then finished in silence, but her brain still wondered there, it was an odd place to have a scar, especially if it was given by accident. What could’ve happened? 

But she was too tired to let herself get dragged in that, so after getting out of the shower and dressing up again, she prepared the first aid kit to heal his wounds. 

Jeno stared at her silently, following her fingers delicately moving on his knuckles, disinfecting the skin, cleaning the area, and then applying the band-aids with light pressure so it wouldn’t hurt. 

“You also have some cuts on your face,” she pointed out, facing him, smiling when she saw how he was staring at her. “What?” 

“Nothing,” he replied, voice still broken, coming out barely louder than a whisper. “I love you.” 

She couldn’t hide the smile that spread her lips, and her eyes briefly looked down where his now banded hands were caressing her waist. “Stop it, I have to fix these cuts on your cheeks.” 

“I’m not doing anything,” he smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “Just thinking how lucky I am to have you.” 

“Then don’t scare me away,” she replied lightheartedly, leaning in to kiss him after she placed the bandaid on his cheekbone. She pulled away but Jeno’s lips were on hers again, and his hands moved on her back, pressing her against him. 

“I won’t,” he whispered. “I love you so much it drives me crazy. I never felt something this strong, I never imagined I could feel something like this.” 

Her head rolled back when his lips started kissing her neck and his hips ground up against hers, the top of her pj’s falling on the floor soon after, leaving her chest exposed. 

“I’d hide you away from everything if I was sure that could never make you go through any kind of pain,” he whispered before his lips closed around her hard nipples, looking up at her teary eyes that were already staring at him.

“Then — don’t stop, don’t stop showing me what you feel for me.”

“There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to prove how much I love you.” 

“Is your sister alive?” Ningning asked Jaemin when she finally got him alone for a moment, they were hanging out like usual on Friday at their favorite place but even this time she passed. 

Jaemin raised a brow, “I guess, aren’t you her best friend?”

The blonde shook her head, wetting her lips before talking, “I am, technically, but lately she’s... it’s like she’s disappeared.”

“Disappeared?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “she almost never answers my texts, as you can see, she never hangs out with us anymore. I mean, I know she’s happy with Jeno but... she never struck me as the type that stops hanging out with her friends when she starts dating. I know her last relationship sucked and this one is like a fairytale but to me it’s odd.”

Jaemin hummed, well, she was his sister, but he never paid much attention to know if this was true. On the other hand, Jeno was truly a dream come true to her, he wasn’t surprised if after years of drooling over him, now that she finally got him, she was so hyped that she locked herself into their golden castle, or whatever their story seemed to be. But he knew Jeno and if he didn’t find it weird for his sister to be so in love, he found it weird how Jeno was so defensive of her. He never cared. 

“Are you worried?”

Ningning took a deep breath, rubbing her temples and then meeting his eyes, “A bit, probably I’m just seeing things because I miss her but I don’t want her to isolate herself.”

Jaemin hummed, “I think she’s just very happy she can finally have him, you know how obsessed she had always been with him.”

“I don’t know... Jeno is acting weird, I’m happy for them, I swear I am, but it’s hard to believe that’s him. We all know about his past.”

Jaemin let out a loud huff, yes, he knew it better than anybody else, and Jeno was never the romantic type. 

“I can dig deeper into this if it makes you feel better,” he proposed, not really knowing why, but maybe just one talk and a beer with Jeno would've cleared their doubts. 

“I’d appreciate, I feel like I can’t reach her lately and I’m worried sick.”

“Flowers?” She asked when she saw Jeno lean against his car, waiting outside of the building where she worked. She couldn’t hide the smile on her face or the way her heart was beating. Lately, he was spoiling her with little things every day, but it still brightened up her day. 

“I saw them and thought of you,” Jeno replied, handing her the bouquet and opening the car door. “Get in,” his voice came out almost harsh but then turned sweet again, “so we can get home faster, you must be tired, right?” 

She nodded, smiling harder, thinking that he was being so sweet, not even seeing that Jaehyun was passing right behind them and was trying to greet her goodbye. She didn’t even look outside, too busy studying the pretty flowers and the scent she loved so much, noticing how prettily they were wrapped in the pink paper. 

“These are my favorites.” 

“I know,” he replied without realizing it. 

“You know?” She raised a brow, staring at him with a perplexed expression, but he was turned toward the window, focused on the street. 

“Yeah,” he coughed, “you told me.” 

She furrowed, trying to remember when, but then shrugged, she might’ve done it during one of her rants about anything and everything.  

“How was your day?” He asked, changing the topic.

“Good, me and Jae are working on a new project together, it’s tiring but exciting.” 

Jeno had to suppress a grunt. He hated the way his name, worse, his nickname, rolled on her tongue. He hated even more that she always found a way to slip him into conversations. This was about her day, not him. And he couldn’t even get what he had so special. He was bland and boring. A quick glance at his social confirmed everything he had to know about his personality after the few times he, unfortunately, had the chance to talk to him. 

“I’m sure you’ll relax at home,” he replied, forcing a smile to form on his face. “I was thinking you should seriously move in with me. Now that everybody knows, you can take all your things and set them in my place. And then we can go and buy new things for the house so it will be truly ours.” 

“Are the flowers to ask me to move in?” She giggled, still smelling their scent.

Jeno chuckled, “I popped the question months ago, bunny.” 

“Yeah, but… it’s such a big step.” It was and she wasn’t sure she wanted to make it, sure, she loved sharing a place with him but what if things didn’t work out? Her father surely wouldn’t have wanted her back, she wouldn’t have had a place to go in case of an emergency.

“Where are you always? Where am I driving to?” 

“Fine,” she gave up, rolling her eyes and huffing out a chuckle 

“When was the last time you stayed at your place?” 

“I had to go back there a few weeks ago, remember? My mom misses me.” 

“She sure does,” he replied sarcastically. 

“Hey! She’s not like my father.” 

Jeno looked at her, raising a brow. “Are you sure about it? Or maybe she pretends she cares about you just so she can control you? She never truly stood up for you, she only cares about the company’s reputation.” 

She opened her mouth to answer but shut it after, she didn’t know how to retort it, or if she could do it. 

“See,” he whispered before bringing the attention back on the road. 

“My parents don’t know about you, though.” 

“You wanted to tell everybody about me but not them? I know them already, you don’t even have to introduce us.” 

“No, but yeah, well, fuck,” she stuttered, throwing her head back. Already feeling the headache, stomachache, and tears caused by a dinner together. “I don’t want to hear my father’s remarks about me.” 

“About you?” 

“Yeah, he will joke and tell you to find something better, you have no idea of the humiliation he put me through when he met my first boyfriend. Why do you think he ran away? My father’s words about me were bigger than any kind of affection he felt.” 

“But that’s not me, my love for you won’t disappear because of your father’s jokes.” 

She sighed, looking out of the window and humming lowly. “Is dinner ready at home?” 

Jeno raised a brow, why was she changing the topic? Didn’t she believe in it?What more he had to do to prove to her that nothing and nobody would’ve changed what he felt for her? 

“There’s a surprise for you.” 

“It’s not my birthday.” 

“I know, bunny. I remember clearly all the important days, trust me. Just wanted to spoil you.” 

“Can you drop me by Jaemin?” She asked, finishing applying the lipstick and ruffling her hair to fix them in place, it was a mess anyway. 

“Your brother?” Jeno asked, coming out of the kitchen, and studying the way she was dressed. 

“Do you know another Jaemin?” She joked, turning around, smiling at him. 

Jeno shook his head. “No, it’s just odd. Do you need something?” 

“He texted me to come over, I don’t know what he wants. Probably something that has to do with dad,” she explained, but the truth was that she didn’t like the tone of the message. If everything was going well since they were public, there was a problem.

Her brother. 

Jaemin had been quite, scarily silent, if she had to be honest. Well, from what she knew. She didn’t dare to bring the topic up with Jeno, scared of whatever answer he was going to give her. 

The idea of Jaemin not even approaching Jeno to ask him to treat her right broke her heart. She didn’t want him to be jealous or overprotective, there was no reason to be anyway, but she still wanted to know that Jaemin cared she was being treated well. 

On the other hand, finding out that maybe Jaemin had snapped and they fought because of her would’ve saddened her more. She didn’t want to be the reason to come between them. 

“I can’t drop you by,” he said, “I have a meeting to be at.” 

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ll take my car.” 

“You should buy another one.”  

She rolled her eyes, “We’ve already talked, I can’t afford it.” 

“It will get you killed one day.” 

She chuckled, “You won’t get rid of me so easily. Bye, see you later.” 

Her old car in terrible condition didn’t get her killed but she kind of hoped it would’ve now that she was listening to what Jaemin had to tell her. 

“You don’t know him!” 

“I don’t know him?” Jaemin scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air. “I grew up with him, I probably know him more than I know you.” Saying that Jaemin was worried was an understatement. He had never seen Jeno act like this, but he didn’t like it. He trusted Jeno, well more or less. He trusted him when it came to himself, but he was the last person he wanted to see her sister with. He couldn’t call himself a protective brother, and probably it wasn’t his place to be worried after the way he acted for ages with her, but he didn’t like this relationship at all. And the conversation he had with Ningning was the last thing he needed to disapprove of it. 

“That’s exactly why you should leave me alone. You don’t know me. How — how can you call me up after ignoring me basically since — since forever to tell me he’s not right for me?” 

“Because he’s not. You’re more than opposite of each other, there’s… there’s no way you two can work.” 

She laughed bitterly, running a hand in her hair and pulling tightly. “We are working out.” 

“God,” he groaned. “You will always be the dumb, hopeless romantic girl that can’t see through rose-colored glasses.” 

“What are you even implying?” 

“Someone like Jeno can’t be with someone like you. He never paid you attention, what happened all of a sudden?” 

She gulped, licking her dried lower lip, and feeling a stab in the back. The bet always running in her brain like a thief ready to steal her happiness at any given moment. But Jeno loved. Jeno had truly fallen for her, it didn’t matter how it happened. They were happy, no matter how different they were. 

“He’s a player,” Jaemin sighed. “He never loved in his life and nobody ever loved him back.” 

She sniffled. “He’s… he’s not a monster. He loves me, and I love him. You can’t judge him for his past.” 

“He can’t love,” her brother snapped, pulling his hair. “And the way he acts around you scares me.” 

She chuckled bitterly, “Now you’re stepping over some lines.” 

“I’m protecting you.” 

She snorted, eyes wide in utter disbelief. “Protecting me? Where were you when I truly needed that? When your friends were laughing at me? When I was the butt of the joke? When they would bully me in the school corridors and you would pass right beside me as if nothing was happening?” 

Jaemin didn’t reply, he should’ve expected she was going to bring that up. And she was right, he was a piece of shit for that, but this was different. He had a terrible feeling in his guts. 

“You never cared about me. Not you, not our parents, nobody. I’ve always been on my own and now you want to teach me some lessons.” 

Jaemin kept quiet, only staring at her while he rubbed his temples. 

“You never cared about me, so why do it now? Why? You don’t want to protect me, you hate seeing me happy.” 

“You’re not happy, he’s tearing you apart,” he retorted. 

“I’m not slapping you and I don’t even know why.” 

“You are always together. You barely even answer your friends’ texts, he… Ningning told me he brings you somewhere every weekend. And he punched a man in a public space risking his reputation for you.”  

She started shaking, that was love. Why was it so wrong that he loved her? 

“He loves me.” 

“Everything he touches turns into ashes; he doesn’t know how to love.”

“What a shame he loves me so much, and he proves it to me every day. I deserve to be happy and he makes me happy, I won’t let you take that away from me,” she huffed, rushing to the door. “And next time, I only want to see you if we’re forced in the same room by our parents.” 

Jaehyun didn’t like Jeno. He didn’t like the way his hand wrapped around her waist so tight he suspected she had marks on her skin. He didn’t like the way words rolled out of his mouth, almost as if he was casting a spell on someone, her. He didn’t like the way Jeno looked at him, as if he was silently daring him, hating him. He didn’t even like how most of the days he was waiting outside, not even letting her have the time to say bye or chat some more after an entire day at work. 

“He’s late, there’s traffic or something,” she huffed, leaning against the wall next to him, shielding her body from the rain under his umbrella. 

“I can drop you home if you want to,” Jaehyun proposed. 

“No, he’ll get mad,” she said, chuckling but her smile dropped when she saw Jaehyun’s quirked brows. “He’s keen to come pick me up, it’s a pamper.” 

But even those words didn’t change the expression on his face. 

“Leaving you out under the rain is a pamper?” 

“He thinks I have an umbrella,” she replied. “But if you need to go I can always ask Johnny if I can get back in —”

“No,” he stopped her. “That’s not the point. I don’t mind waiting here with you. I just… nevermind.” He shrugged, looking at the raindrops splash on the asphalt in front of them. 

“No, what? It never happened before.” 

“It’s not that either. I was about to make an unrequested comment about your relationship so I kept it to myself.” 

“Oh,” she gasped. “Wait, am I the annoying person that talks about her boyfriend too much? I didn’t think I did it so often, I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s not about you either,” he stopped, smiling tenderly at her reaction. Jaehyun found it endearing how she was always so considerate of everyone around her.  

“Hey! Don’t make fun of me,” she joked, faking a pout and nudging him with her shoulder. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologized still grinning. 

“But… what is that about?” After what her brother told her she couldn’t help but panic when people told her how they perceived her relationship with Jeno, but she still wanted to know if it was the same opinion. 

Jaehyun sighed, holding his purse tighter. “It’s not a nice opinion, I don’t think you want to hear it. It probably only comes from my petty, single ass,” he joked but no, it wasn’t because he was single, and petty and hated that she was taken. Jeno gave him weird vibes and he was never wrong about it. 

“You’re lying.” 

“No, I’m not.” 

“Yes, you are. You’re not making eye contact with me, you do that when you’re bullshitting people around.” 

Jaehyun laughed, shaking his head. “Fine, I am, but I still think you don’t want to hear it.” 

“Is it that bad?” 

Jaehyun thought about it. If he was in a relationship he would’ve wanted somebody to open his eyes, but then he realized that wasn’t his place. He barely knew him, he barely knew them together, that was just a big accusation, no matter how real he believed it was. 

“I don’t like him,” he blurted out in an honest confession. 

“That’s it?” She asked, raising a brow. 

“No, but it’s the only thing I can tell you.” 

“What if I wanted to know everything?” 

He sighed. “Fine. He seems… a little… possessive over you. He gave me those vibes the few times he stopped by but also… also from the things you tell me. It’s like he wants to control you, always.” 

Her heart stopped for a moment. That couldn’t be true. Her brother was jealous because he hated seeing her happy and had to screw it somehow. But Jaehyun? Sure, Jaehyun liked her, at least in the past for sure, and maybe he was just mad that he couldn’t get to her so he had to hate on Jeno for no reason at all. 

It had to be that. 

“He cares about me a lot. We’re perfectly fine,” she replied, forcing a smile on her face before turning around, wanting Jeno to come pick her up as soon as possible. 

“Sure…” Jaehyun’s answer got on her nerves but she didn’t reply. 

“You know, maybe you should go. It’s Friday night, I’m sure you have things to do,” she said, moving away from him. 

“You’ll get wet.” 

“I’ll wait under that balcony there,” she reassured him before walking away, not looking back at him, missing the pity written on his face before he turned around and started walking to his car. 

But being alone didn’t help her mind don’t obsess over his and Jaemin’s words. Not even when Jeno finally arrived after more than ten minutes and they were driving home, the silence in the vehicle weighing on her chest. 

Jeno glanced over, eyes moving quickly from the road to her. “You’re off, what happened?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, voice firm even if there was a faint hint of apprehension under it.  

She sighed lowly, battling with herself whether to let it all out or not. “I talked with Jaehyun about something…” 

He raised a brow, fist clenching around the wheel as soon as he heard that name. “About what?” 

“Us.” 

“You talked to him about us?”  

She hummed, looking down, tapping her shoes nervously and playing with the seam of her jeans. “Do you… do you think we’re toxic?” 

“What?” 

“I don’t know, Jaemin told me the same thing, kinda, maybe we are… we are too close to each other.” 

Jeno clenched the wheel tighter, the same anger rising in his blood, his eyes shifting for a second before he forced himself to think straight again. 

“Or maybe people hate seeing others happy.” 

“I don’t know…” 

But trying to keep calm wasn’t easy if she acted like that, how could she let others get inside her head, and heart, so easily? “What did he tell you exactly?” 

“Nothing, just that… you’re… well, you are…” 

“I am?” He urged, losing his patience, finger tapping nervously on the gear. 

“You are…” Obsessed. Possessive. Crazy. Controlling. “…caring.” 

“Caring?” He raised a brow, studying her face, but she was avoiding him, too busy playing with a loose string of her denim pants. 

“Yeah, he thinks you care too much.” 

“He knows shit about me and us. Why don’t you tell him to mind his business, uh? I know how to treat my girl right.” 

“Yeah, I think that too,” she whispered, gulping before turning around to look at the window. 

Jeno cursed internally, knuckles white around the wheel and eyes blank. 

Jaehyun was becoming a problem Jeno didn’t put in his plan. And he was crossing too many lines. 

Jeno had to do something about it. 

She tried to stop thinking about what her brother and Jaehyun told her, just like she tried to ignore the words of her friends, whining about how little time she was spending with them. But her brain always went back there. 

Every single thing that Jeno did, felt amplified. Maybe Jaehyun was right. He did care too much. 

Maybe what she always thought to be love was an obsession. But where the hell did it come from? It didn’t make a lot of sense considering how their story started and how he never acted like this with other girlfriends. She didn’t know much about his past stories, but she knew enough to know that Jeno never cared that much about someone. He never acted like this with anybody else. And if at the start it seemed like a fairytale, she started to suspect it wasn’t. 

She shouldn’t have felt like a thief in her own house but that was what she felt as she tried to look for more clues around the place. But she couldn’t find anything. There was nothing suspicious, nothing that could add to her theory of him being obsessed with her. 

Yet, the sensation couldn’t seem to fade away and she was sure Jeno got that there was something wrong with her. 

She was acting different, almost as if she was pushing him away, but it wasn’t her fault. The more he did, the more it seemed like he was proving her doubts right. 

And even when she went back in the timeline she remembered she felt the same. Jeno had always been caring. Even when it was all a bet, even when they were hidden from the world. It also was never an option, he insisted on picking her up from work, and accompanying her when she went out with her friends, or at medical appointments. He hid behind ‘safety reasons,’ but she wondered if it was truly only that. 

Maybe he didn’t trust her? But why?

“I have an amazing night planned for us,” Jeno cheered, entering their bedroom, wrapping a hand around her waist as she stood in front of the mirror. “I’m taking you out, then I’ll take you to another beautiful place to drink special cocktails and then we’ll come back here and you’ll see what else I have planned for you.” 

She smiled, caressing his hair back. “I’d love to, but did you forget I had a dinner tonight?” 

“A dinner?” 

“Yeah, with my coworkers, I told you. A party that the boss organized since we’re doing so well.”

Jeno knew it but he thought she didn’t want to go. 

“I thought you didn’t want to go?” 

She snorted, trying to mask the same sensation that was assaulting her in the last days, “I never said that.” 

Jeno gulped, watching as she pulled away from his hold to finish getting ready. Long burgundy dress around her body, legs covered by thin thigh-high tights, high heels, and her furred jacket on the chair. Surely too dress up for a simple company dinner. 

“It’s going to be so boring.” 

She shook her head. “No, I’m surrounded by nice people, I’m sure I’m going to have fun,” she said, turning around and smiling at him. “It will be just a dinner and then I’ll come back home.” 

“Do you need a ride?” 

“No, I can take the car by myself.” 

“I can —”

“Jeno, I can drive,” she stopped him, walking out of the bedroom to reach the front door and pick up the keys of the house and the car.  

“Why do you don’t want to —”

“Bye,” she cut him off, kissing him. “Gotta go. Love you.” 

“Yeah, bye. Love you, too,” he slurred, heart clenching in anger because she never refused a ride.  

Jeno didn’t want to follow her. He truly didn’t. He was trying hard to suppress that urge, walking back and forth in the living room, clenching his fists so tight that blood wasn’t flowing there anymore. But he couldn’t help but think about her. It wasn’t even that he didn’t trust her, or that there were other people, it was the fact that there was Jaehyun there too and Jeno was sure he was going to be all over her all night, probably telling some other bullshits about him and their relationship. 

But it wasn’t like he could anything about it, right? He couldn’t get to the restaurant, he couldn’t even be outside. She kept her promises, she would’ve come home straight away and he had nothing to worry about. 

But he had a lot to worry about. 

And when his eyes fell on a crumbled piece of paper with the address on, he took it as a sign of destiny. He couldn’t stay at home. 

When his car pulled in front of the restaurant, he spotted her car parked close to the entry. He couldn’t see inside, he didn’t even want to risk walking on the sidewalk to spy in, the place too elegant to go unnoticed of suspect movements. 

So he waited, and waited, hours passing by slowly. And just when he was about to lose hope, he saw the door open and a crowd of people come out of there. 

And there she was, it was impossible not to notice her, she looked so beautiful, and Jeno smiled at the sight, until he saw that Jaehyun’s hand was placed behind her back and that she was way too close to him. 

“What the fuck are they doing?” He groaned, squeezing his eyes to see better, hoping he was insane and just seeing things, but Jaehyun’s hand didn’t move, worst, it moved lower, and wrapped around her waist. 

“Why aren’t you moving him away? Why would you let him touch you like that?” 

What he couldn’t stand were the laughers, and the continuous talk, why couldn’t the night just be over? Why couldn’t she come home? 

“Finally,” he whispered, slumping in the backseat when the group parted in two and she started walking to her car. But he couldn’t relax for long, his heart started racing when Jaehyun sat on the passenger seat of her car. What was going on?

He hit the honk when he accidentally punched the wheel, he couldn’t see what they were doing, he couldn’t even get why it was taking them so long to start the car. 

‘sorry I’ll be home later. don’t wait for me.’

When the text popped on his screen he wanted to get out of the car, drag Jaehyun out of there and punch him until he was covered in blood, but he couldn’t. So he tried to rationalise the insane thoughts that were filling his brain like loud voices screaming to him his worst intentions. Maybe she had to drop him home, that’s why it would take more, but why couldn’t she just tell him? Why did she have to lie and be so close to him? 

Her car started, sprinting past his, and he started to follow behind them, hoping to go unnoticed. There were some cars around, so he could blend in with the others well without losing them in the late-night traffic. 

He was trying to calm down but when she didn’t drive toward his place his anger started to get harder to suppress. 

“Why are they driving to the Han river?” 

When they parked and walked away, Jeno didn’t know what to do. Following them on foot was going to be much more dangerous but he couldn’t let her go like this. He was terrified something too big was going to happen. 

He was losing count of the time passing as he watched them sit on a bench while eating ice cream and laughing and talking. Jaehyun couldn’t be that funny, could he? Why couldn’t she see the way he was looking at her? Why didn’t that make her uncomfortable? 

‘are you still up?’

Jeno raised a brow when his screen lit up, why would she text him that? But he ignored it, focusing on the view in front of him. A view that was irritating him more and more as time passed. Jaehyun was too close, and she wasn’t stopping him, letting their bodies touch in a way Jeno didn’t like. 

His hand clenched when the other man leaned closer and tried to kiss her, and the only thing that made him feel better was that she pulled away. Jeno could barely make out some faint apologies coming from Jaehyun from the tree he was hiding behind, but that still wasn’t enough. 

Jeno was going to make him pay for that. 

“You?” 

She rolled her eyes, pushing her brother to the side and making her way into his place. 

“Excuse me? What if I don’t want you here? Do I have to remind you of the fight of the other day?” Jaemin asked, still closing the door behind and following her on the couch. 

“It was a month ago…” she whispered, looking down at the floor. 

“And?” 

She raised her gaze to him. “I need to talk to you about Jeno.” 

“Did he hurt you?” Jaemin panicked, reaching for her. 

“Would he?” 

Jaemin stopped in his tracks, “I don’t think so, but you don’t seem happy so you are either mad at him or me.” 

She shook her head, sighing. “I know we’re not winning any best siblings award, but I still trust you and I know you think I’m dumb, and maybe I am but… I need your help.” 

“For?” Jaemin could see her legs bounce nervously, and he knew this was worst than he could even imagine. 

“I feel like I don’t know Jeno at all. And I’m not sure I’m going to like who he really is,” she confessed. 

“Why? Who do you think he is?” He wanted to answer that ‘yes, congratulations! You discovered the obvious. He is not who you think he is,’ but he needed to know what kind of doubts she had. 

She gulped, words crossing her mind, but she was terrified of saying them out loud, once Jaemin knew of her doubts, of all the fears and suspects, her and Jeno were over, and she wasn’t sure she wanted that. And precise as a clock a text grabbed her attention. 

‘There’s the fair back in town, are you free tomorrow?’ 

She blinked a tear away and then looked at her brother. “I just… I feel like he can’t open up with me, and I wondered if he was the same with you, or if I’m the problem.” 

Jaemin raised a brow, staying silent for too long, feeling that wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. 

“Did he text you?” 

She nodded. “We’re going to the fair tomorrow. Where it all started.” 

“Are you sure this is a good thing?” 

“What?” 

Jaemin sighed, sifting uncomfortably in his place. “You and him. I still don’t get how you ended up together, I know you took it as an attack and I… I also get that I should be the last person to worry about you but you two have nothing in common. How does it work?” 

She bit her lip, avoiding his gaze. It worked, somehow, in her fantasy, in her delusion. It worked because she kept falling for his fool’s gold because at the end, maybe, everybody was right, she was dumb and madly in love, and that is never a good combo. 

Jaemin took a deep breath, reaching for her hand, making her look at him in surprise. He was never physical with her, avoided her like plague so much she couldn’t even remember the last time her brother touched her. 

“Are you running after a teenage dream?” 

“Why do you always have to think that I’m the stupid girl madly in love with him?” Because you are, she replied instead. Because you will always be. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt. You loved him for so long without truly knowing him I fear you fell for an idea in your brain.” 

She pulled away and stood up. “I know him. We’ve been together for almost a year that is not the problem. I’m not the dumb one. Things are fine, they are — they are great it’s just…” I’m afraid. “I don’t want this to break, I don’t want this spell to end because I’m fine with him. We’re good. We…” She sighed, maybe Jaemin was the last person she should’ve spoken to. Maybe she should’ve talked to Jeno directly. 

“I have to go now.” 

“Wait,” Jaemin stopped her. “I can tell you what you need to know about him.” 

“Trust me, you can’t.” 

“Were you at home the other day?” After beating around the bush, she finally found the courage to talk to Jeno. The sound of the food frying in the pans in front of her was actually annoying as it filled the silence when no words came out of Jeno’s mouth. 

“The other day, when? Can you be more specific?” 

“When I went out for dinner with my colleagues.” 

Jeno hummed, shrugging, stopping from scrolling on his socials, “Yeah, why?” 

She breathed deeply, shaking her head before giving him her back again. “Nothing, just wondering.” 

“Are you the only one allowed to have fun?” He stood up, reaching her side, two fingers caressing her cheek gently. 

“I never said that.” 

“No, but I don’t get the random question.” 

“And the day after? You didn’t pass by at work, where were you?” 

“I told you I couldn’t come, bunny. I had a thing to do.” 

“Yes, but what? You never let me take the metro alone.” 

Jeno scoffed and she quirked a brow. 

“What’s funny?” 

He shook his head, leaving her side, but she had no intention of letting the conversation drop. 

“Am I lying? You say it loud and clear.” 

“Yeah, and I also know that you don’t take the metro for some months now.” 

Her eyes widened, and it got harder to swallow the saliva as she stared at him. 

“I saw Jaehyun drop you by weeks ago,” he said calmly. “I’m not worried about the metro because I know you have him and he would never let you ride that.” 

“You don’t even like him,” she chuckled bitterly. 

“As long as he has your back and knows his place, I’m fine with his existence.” 

“Somebody attacked him,” she blurted, trying to study Jeno’s expression, she didn’t like what her thoughts were suggesting her for some days but she couldn’t sleep at night with those doubts. Jaehyun was avoiding her, he didn’t even greet her anymore, he barely explained what happened and she had to put the pieces together by asking Johnny what was going on. She heard that whoever attacked him told him to ‘keep his distance from what wasn’t his,’ and she could only think about Jeno. 

“Oh, on the metro?” 

She was taken aback by his answer and shook her head. “No, out of his house. They almost fractured his nose and he has a broken arm.” 

“Really? Shit, were they trying to rob him?” 

“They threatened him.” She kept her eyes locked into his, more shivers turning her skin full of goosebumps. Jeno was impassible, deep down his concerned frown she could see there was no glint behind his eyes. 

“See, that’s why I don’t trust him around you. He must be in a bad circle or something. The place he lives is nice, why do those kinds of people only attack him?” 

“Jeno,” she breathed out, voice shaking and tears menacing to fall. “Was it you?” She expected a bigger reaction but not that. The calm behind his eyes and voice, terrified her more than his outburst of anger did. 

“Me?” He only replied nonchalantly. “You think I’d ever hurt somebody?” 

She started crying, “You said you would kill for me.” 

“Is it a bad thing?” He asked, walking closer to her, reaching for her hand, shaking like a leaf. “You know I’d never hurt you.” 

“But others? Would you kill for me? Would you… would you ever hurt somebody?” 

Jeno didn’t reply but somehow that silence had all the answers she didn’t want to have. He would. And he did. It surely had been him. 

“Why — why would you do that to him?” 

“Do what?” 

“Beat him? He has wounds all over his face, he doesn’t even look like himself.” 

“Why do you care what he looks like? Do you like him?” 

“No, we’re not doing this,” she replied, shaking her head and walking backwards, hands in front of her as if she could stop him from vomiting out words that would’ve pushed her down a spiral of madness. 

“Yes, we are. Because you’d rather accuse me, your boyfriend, of something like that, rather than come to terms with the fact that probably your bestie from work is not who he tells you to be.” 

“You don’t know him.” 

Jeno scoffed. “Should’ve taught a lesson to you, instead.” 

“What did you say?” She asked, unsure she had heard right. Hoping she didn’t because at this point lies were better than what seemed to be the truth. 

“Nothing.” 

She groaned, slamming a hand on the table. “Why can’t you just be honest for once? You always lie to me.” 

“I never lie to you.” 

“I won’t tell him if you did it but just confess to me and we’ll work it out. If there are some problems in our relationship we can fix them.” 

“You are the problem in our relationship.” 

She gasped before her body started shaking even more, voice vibrating full of fear, insecurity and sadness. “What?” 

“You and your lies and the way you keep listening to everyone except me. No matter what happens, no matter how much things have nothing to do with me, you will always find a way to blame it on me.” 

“I —”

“Shut up,” he cut her off harshly. “I know you talked to Jaemin,” he scoffed. “He never gave a fuck about you. He treated you like shit and the first second we falter, you run in his arms to make me the villain? That’s why you needed him to know, right? Why do you hate me so much?” 

“I don’t hate you. What did he tell you?” 

He laughed, but it wasn’t a familiar sweet sound, it was mocking like a sharp slap straight to the cheek. “Afraid he spilled more than you wanted to reach me, right?” 

“I barely talked about you.” 

“It doesn’t matter what he told me, honestly, he was nice, I got by his weird talks that whatever he was ranting about was coming from you. But you need his words, right? You have me right here and you go ask anybody about me except me. You don’t like me. You never liked the real me. You hate I’m not whoever is in your head.” 

“Please, not this again. I do, I love you so much. I… I…” 

“You what?” He screamed, scaring her, back hitting the wall as the tears started flowing down her cheeks. “God, here we go. Crying like a baby just like when you were a fucking child.” 

She didn’t answer, only wrapped her arms around her body and looked at the floor. This was just like when she fought with her father, or with Jaemin when they were younger and he picked on her for any reason. It was a knife piercing deep into the old wound and twisting with cruel indifference. 

“Fucking answer me! You’re not throwing the rock and then hiding your hand. Ruining our weekend to defend your work boyfie.” 

“Don’t call him that…” 

“No? And what should I call him? Why don’t you run to him? Go, the door is there and I’m sure he’s waiting for you.” 

“He doesn’t talk to me anymore all because you scared him away,” she snapped just to regret it right after. The furious look on Jeno’s face was the last thing she wanted to see. 

“You’re just an ungrateful bitch,” he spat out, turning around angrily. “You don’t deserve anything of what I do for you. This place, defending you from your father, risking my relationship with your brother, hanging out with your friends, dropping you by and coming to pick you up every day from work, spoiling you with small vacation and dresses. But most importantly, you don’t deserve my love. You deserve to be left in the misery you were when you crawled to me on your knees. I should’ve treated you like shit like everybody else always did with you, you would’ve appreciated that more. But here you are.” 

“Jeno, please.” 

“Shut up,” he replied sternly. “And leave.” 

“What do you mean, leave?” 

“What it means? Are you that fucking dumb you don’t know what words mean?” 

“I… I think this is escalating, I didn’t, I didn’t mean this,” she blabbered, a mess on her face as the sobs got louder, too much spit menacing to spill out of her mouth in a pathetic drooling mess. Feeling the floor fall through right beneath her feet, free falling.  

“You never mean it. And I’m tired of your words, of your lame excuses.” 

“No, no, wait,” she said, reaching for him, but he pushed her away. “Tell me what I did wrong and we can fix it.” 

Jeno laughed. “You don’t trust me. And instead of working on it, you just proved to me more and more every day that you’d let other people’s opinions come over your love for me, just like I told you. But I was paranoic back then, wasn’t I?” 

“But this time it’s not words…” 

“What if I did it? What if I beat him and what else did they do to him? Broke his arm?” 

She nodded, lips quivering, brain pulsing for how hard she was trying to keep herself afloat.  

“Would you leave me if I did that?” 

She didn’t reply, gulping hard, blankly looking into his eyes to see if that was a confession or not. 

“Yes, you would, so why would I risk losing you for him? What do I get from beating him?” 

“But he doesn’t talk to me anymore,” she cried, breaking down in another loud sob. Hoping he would open his arms and hold her in, and save her again from the death he pushed her toward. “Nobody else would threaten him over me.” 

“Who said they threatened him over you?” 

“But why wouldn’t he talk to me?” She sniffled. 

“Because people are shit. They use you until they can get what they want from you and then leave you there. Didn’t he have a crush on you?” 

She hummed, rubbing her arms with her palms, sinking her nails down her skin through her clothes to stay grounded.

“And did you ever flirt with him or gave him a hint of giving him a chance?” 

“Of course not, I have you. I love you.” 

“I know, and don’t you think he knows it too? Don’t you think he’s mad because he sees how strong our relationship is? Wasn’t he filling your brain with stupid doubts to make us fall apart?” 

“He wouldn’t…” 

“He wouldn’t? Bunny,” Jeno cooed, caressing her wet cheek. “Men are trash. You don’t know the things they would do just for some sex.” 

“But he’s different… we were friends. I liked spending time with him.” 

“I know, bunny, I know,” he said, pulling her in his arms. “That’s why I’m mad I can’t protect you from the world. I try to, but you don’t listen. You wanted to trust him and here you are, crying because he just wanted to get in your pants and as soon as he realized he couldn’t, he dropped you out of his life.” 

She didn’t answer, only sobbed harder in his chest, arms weakly holding his waist. 

“For how sick he is, he might’ve also hurt himself to make you believe I’d do something like this.” 

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” she said, pulling away. 

Jeno caressed her cheek. “But I need you to trust me, bunny. We can’t go on like this.” 

She nodded. “But you need to trust me too. I love you, I truly do. I don’t care what people say, but I… never mind.” She took a step back before turning around, wiping the tears with the back of her hands, and then walked into the kitchen again, hoping the food didn’t burn, not that she had any appetite left. 

But when her hands placed on the countertop after turning the fire off, she just cried, shaking and sobbing while Jeno stared at her, leaning on the door frame. The silence was louder than any words. They both knew they were walking on a fragile line and it was bound to break. No amount of sick games and lies was going to save them now. But leaving it as a thought was better than saying it out loud. It was safer than starting another fight where maybe none of them would’ve come out alive. 

“We should leave,” Jeno was the one to break the silence, “just for a while. Detox from everything.” 

She didn’t answer, sniffling harder while she held her body close. That wasn’t going to make things better. She knew she should’ve shut things up a year ago, the bet should’ve been a red flag big enough to tell her this wasn’t going to work, but she ignored it, and now she was paying the consequences. Because loving Jeno had always been like this, a rollercoaster with no seat belts. She felt shivers run down her spine when his arms wrapped around her and his chin rested on top of her shoulder.

“I hate when we fight, I really do.” His hot breath on her skin made her feel uncomfortable, it was like the spell ran out of its magic and all of this lost its spark. Like Cinderella, nothing of the fancy dress or the carriage was left, just a scattered pumpkin on the cold ground, but in this case, the pumpkin was her.

“Why aren’t you answering? Why do you act like this?” 

“Please,” she begged, lifting a hand to her ears when he raised his voice, wanting to shut him out. “I’m tired, I’m — I’m exhausted. I can’t, I’ve had thoughts running in my brain for days and I can’t shut them off, I don’t know how to make them stop, I can’t make this pain go away.” 

But it was like Jeno couldn’t get it and thought that everything could’ve been easily fixed. 

“Don’t kiss me,” she said, squirming away, slipping out of his hold. 

“Are you mad at me still? I thought you were mad at him two seconds ago and now you’re turning against me again?” 

“I’m not turning against you,” she retorted. “The world doesn’t turn against you just when a small thing doesn’t go in your direction, I’m… I need some sleep.” 

“No,” he stopped her. “I don’t want to go to bed without resolving this. Why do you pretend?” 

“I’m not pretending, I can’t talk to you because everything turns into a fight. And… I don’t like listening to what other people say about us but maybe they are right, why can’t you just… let me go?” 

“Let you go?” 

She hummed, barely finding the courage to hold his gaze. “Don’t be so protective over me.” 

Jeno’s features were tense and she didn’t like it. 

“Fine,” he whispered. “Maybe we should take a break.” 

She let out a scream of exasperation, why did her every word have to be twisted into something else? “I didn’t say that.” 

“But I did. I can’t take this just like you can’t. I proposed to leave, put the stress to the side and then come back, but you still doubt me.” 

“Leaving will just push our problems back.” 

“What problems? Because we were fine until you brought him up accusing me of hurting him for some kind of… of what? Revenge? Threat?” 

“So it’s my fault?” 

“Yes, it is, we were supposed to eat and go to the amusement park like one year ago, and here we are. Over.” 

“We’re not over, don’t say that,” she huffed, feeling a terrible pain in her chest just hearing that. “We can still go, we can… we can.” 

“You’re tired, go to sleep.” 

She squeezed her head, brain about to explode in confusion, vision blurred because she had no idea what the right path to take was anymore. There wasn’t even a path to follow, just a land of fallen leaves where traps hid underneath, and with every step, she could’ve tumbled inside. 

“My problem is that I think you are too protective of me.” 

“Too protective? Can you please tell me how? The last time we talked, you were lucky you had me, what changed?” 

“I am, I feel safe around you but… I feel like you don’t trust me. It almost seems as if I am a child in your eyes, and I don’t know what to do with myself.” 

He scoffed. “Caring for you makes you feel like that? You know why it does? Because nobody took care of you when you were a child. Because your brain wished somebody took some weight off your shoulder when you were younger, and you’re not used to other people helping you instead of leaving you in the shit. I know that you, more than Jaemin, had to raise yourself on your own. I was there when you always knew how to get out of a situation. You were never dumb, silent maybe, introverted, shy, clumsy, making everything that you touched break or fall or trip directly yourself but fuck, you were never dumb. You… you have always been so fucking interesting and I,” he sighed. “I envied you so much. Because growing up on my own without my father having my back didn’t make me come up like you. You’re right, I’m a mess, and I’m not half of what you are. Why do you think I hated you? I wanted to break you down so badly. But it seemed like the more people would push you to the floor the more you would bloom, and it was always so subtle, so sneaky, you were a master at getting unnoticed and I wanted to be like that so bad. But instead of pushing me away, you attracted me so much, still, no matter how much I studied you, I never got your tricks. I still don’t, not even now. I have no idea how you didn’t turn into a monster, and I do fear I’ll turn you into one if you stick with me. And I try, I try so hard to be the best version of myself, I don’t even realize when I fuck it up but the idea of losing you, kills me. It kills me. And I’m afraid because I… I know that if only you took a glimpse inside of me, of my true self you’d be terrified and you’d run away. God, you already want to run away.” 

She blinked, staring at him with a curious expression, his defences crumbling down like a house of cards. “You noticed me? I wasn’t invisible for you?” 

Jeno sighed, tears rolling from his eyes again, slipping on the floor. “You haunted me. I saw myself in you. And I wanted to destroy you as much as I wanted to destroy myself.” 

She gulped, sitting in front of him. Well, at least now it all made more sense, all the pain he put her through, all the wasted years and tears. “It doesn’t seem really nice.” 

“I have very bad coping mechanisms,” he shrugged, a bitter smile on his face as he stared at her, dried tears marking her beautiful face. 

She reached for his hand, caressing the palm. “Don’t you think we all hide a bad side of us?” 

He shook his head, pulling away. “You wouldn’t get it.” 

“But if you said that I’m the better version of you, how can I not?” 

“Because you are the good I don’t have.” 

“Shut up, you’re an amazing person, why would you say those things now?” 

“It’s not about being a good or bad person, it’s about having scars that healed in a terrible way and having prices to pay because of them.” 

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” 

“Am I better in your head?” He asked, tilting his head to the side, voice clipping in his throat. “The version of me that lives there, he’s fine, isn’t he? Maybe he’s just like you.” 

She stared at him, trying to read him deeper, to push past those walls she believed he had pushed down, but they were still all there, too tall to even think about climbing them. “I don’t understand you, Jeno, I… I don’t know if I’m tired or if you’re just saying nonsense but… it’s confusing.” 

He smiled, cupping her cheek. “That’s why I told you, you can’t get it.” 

“Where are you going?” She asked when he got up and walked to the door. 

“Out,” he replied calmly as if they weren’t having breakdown after breakdown, always collected as if nothing fazed him, not even when he was the one underwater gasping for air. 

“No, please, I don’t want us to be alone.” 

He turned around, staring at her standing with her fingers playing together. Jeno gulped, looking down before leaning against the door, and inhaling deeply. The images of the fights of before were burning in his brain like a wildfire that had no intention to stop, her wet cheeks, her eyes full of fear, trust faltering, her screams and her words, he was the monster he wanted to protect her from. 

When Jeno started sobbing she rushed to him, holding him in her arms. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, apologizing for things she didn’t know. Cursing himself for being so dumb once again, for hurting everybody even when he wanted to protect them. Hating himself because he was never going to learn. “I’m so sorry.” 

She caressed his face, shushing him with small kisses. 

“I don’t deserve you,” he said, pushing her to the side, running to the bathroom, locking himself in. And if only she didn’t see his eyes being empty and blank again, she wouldn’t have felt that weird warning sensation in her gut. 

“Jeno, open the door,” she screamed when she felt an alarming silence interrupted by sobs and objects falling on the floor. “Jeno, please,” she screamed louder. “I’m here to help you.” 

“I don’t need your help, you don’t know… you don’t.” 

“Jeno, I don’t care, I don’t care about what had been, but I care about you. You are not your scars.” 

“Yes, I am. I am fucked up in more ways than you could even imagine. I’m so toxic for you and I… I’m so selfish because, fuck,” a groan of pain stopped him. “I can’t be without you, I can’t. I want you so bad because it’s so easy to fool myself I can be like you, that if you chose me there must be something good in the mess I am, and I,” another groan, louder this time, reached her outside of the room, but when nothing followed, she started panicking more. 

“Jeno, what are you doing?” 

Nothing. 

“Jeno,” she banged against the door, screaming and crying, “open, please, please don’t do anything dumb.” 

Only after a few seconds he opened, heart on his knees when he noticed the state she was in, the state he put her through. And his heart sank even more when she fell into his arms once seeing he was fine. She loved him too much. 

“I hit him.” 

“What?” She asked, pulling away. 

“I hit Jaehyun, I slashed his tires, I even spied you one night, more than once. I followed you when you went out the other night.” 

She stood there, frozen in her tracks, shaking. The realization falling on her like a cold shower. 

“No, you didn’t. We’re both tired, we need some sleep.” 

“No, I did it. The scar on my thigh? I hurt myself while hiding after slashing his tires and I had to fix it myself.” 

She was speechless, feeling like she could pass out. It couldn’t be true. Yes, she feared it was for weeks by now, but it couldn’t be true. Why was he even confessing? Why couldn’t he keep lying? He was so good at it, and she loved falling into those lies. 

“But why?” Her voice came out like a tremble, salty drops dripping down her face, she couldn’t calm down. 

“Because I’m terrified of losing you.” 

“But what made you even think I would leave you? I… I loved you when you treated me like shit, how could I don’t love you now?” 

“It’s my brain, it’s… it’s the fact I’m never worth more than a fuck for nobody, it’s because I’m bad at love and I’m only good at tricking people into me and manipulating them. It’s because I didn’t learn anything else in my life.” 

“I…” She couldn’t find words to say, she had so many things to let out but they made no sense. Nothing made sense. He was capable of that? Of hurting the people she loved? He spied her? So that night wasn’t a coincidence? Trying to put together all the pieces was driving her insane, and the more she did, the more the picture looked blurry. 

“You were the only one that never looked at me up and down. The only one that never judged me for anything. The only one that truly stood by my side. No matter how much I mocked you for it, or pretended I didn’t notice. I still have all your birthday cards, the ones I always laughed about in front of our friends. I have the Halloween costume you sewed for me when you took your sewing class. I have the small notes you would leave in my bag every time I stayed over with your brother. I have everything.” 

She tried to breathe but it was getting impossible and she leaned against a wall. It was like the world was spinning at light speed and she had no ground under her feet. It was like a Ferris wheel falling to the ground and having nothing to save herself with. 

“So why did it have to take a fucking bet to get to me?” She cried out, voice full of anger but it still didn’t quite come out, too mixed with the disappointment. It all could’ve been so much easier. 

“Because I was in denial. I thought I loved the attention you gave me, the — the pathetic kind of love you felt for me made me feel so fucking important. I believed I could bathe in it and then jump out free once I was done with you. Using you like any other person but then… then you made me discover what love truly is and I couldn’t stand it.” 

She hummed, a small, crooked smile curling her lips. How could she even react to all of that? “But you still love the power you have over me, don’t you? That’s why you’re here, you know I’ll always come back. You know I’ll let you trap me in a cage if it meant being with you, so why this? Why hurt the people I love?” 

“Because I don’t know how much your love for me will make you come back. I… I thought that if I made you feel safe with me, if I cut other people out, you… you wouldn’t have seen how terrible I am.” 

“Then why are you confessing?” 

He lifted his head up, glossy, red eyes meeting hers, nothing but a brown pool of sadness, rancor and so many other emotions she couldn’t point out. “Because I need to be honest with you before you’ll leave me like everybody else.” 

She sat on the floor, legs too tired to support her body, and stared at him, crying and shaking, mumbling apologies, bleeding on the floor since something must’ve cut his hands by mistake. It was another red flag, wasn’t it? A warning as big as a house that was screaming at her to leave now, before it truly was too late. But she also thought of the man of before and how he was trying to manipulate her, how easy it was for him to do it, and now he was confessing all his crimes. And the same questions that assaulted her when he was begging on her knees to forgive him for that bet were filling her brain again. What was he gaining from this? Why did he fight so hard to keep her? But this time she knew he couldn’t have anybody else, that the whole façade of him being a fuckboy was as fake as everything else she had believed lately. He didn’t grow to love her. He always did. Did he? Or did he love the power and the tears and begs and screams? 

After all, it was them. It had always been them. It was falling. It was death, by his side, and it wasn’t sweet or tragically romantic.

She sighed, resting her chin on her bent knees. 

He had done everything to prove her how much he loved her like he had promised. He had done too much. 

“You want me to leave you?” 

Jeno nodded, feeling his heart clench in his chest just at the idea of lifting his head and not seeing her anymore, but that was just another price to pay, he deserved it. 

She pursed her lips together, staring at the floor blankly. She wanted to ask him questions, if he ever got himself checked up for something, if there was something he could do to fix this instead of hurting himself and the people he loved, but she didn’t. 

“I want you to take me to the amusement park tomorrow.” 

He raised his head, shocked to even hear her voice and see that she was still there. 

“I think me and you have to start brand new.” 

He shook his head. “I can’t change. And before I’ll hurt you too, I want you to leave.” No, he didn’t, he could barely survive a month without her, he didn’t even want to imagine an entire life like that, but he had to.

She moved closer. “Maybe instead of pushing the problems back, you could face them?” 

“Drop it,” he warned, but she didn’t listen. 

“I don’t know anything about love, nobody taught me anything about it either. But I guess love is taking care of the people you love, right? I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m here, Jeno. I’m standing close to you after you confessed you stalked me and threatened one of my friends. If I was like anybody else I would not only be out of that door but I would probably be at the police, suing you. But I’m here. I’m here because I listened to you before and I think that maybe there’s a reason why you’re like this, and you can fix this. You don’t heal from the pain of the past, nobody and nothing fills certain voids but instead of letting them drown you and take opportunities away from you, there are ways to walk past them and move forward.” 

He didn’t answer, chewing the inside of his cheeks nervously, thinking about it. “I’ll do it, I promise. But without you, I can’t drag you in this.” 

“You won’t do it if you don’t have a reason to do it, you know it, too.” 

“So you know me a bit, don’t you?” 

She nodded, caressing his cheek with her thumb, and her body relaxed a bit when he snuggled against her touch and shifted closer to her. 

“Maybe we should get up from the cold floor, don’t you think so?”

When the clock struck midnight, Jeno was sleeping, leaning on her, on the couch. And as much as she was exhausted, she couldn’t close her eyes thinking about everything that happened. Tormenting herself, wondering if it was another one of his traps or if he was so good at hiding his demons that not even Jaemin, Haechan, or Jisung had a mere idea of everything that was going on inside him. Thinking how much different he looked when she walked him to the couch and cleaned his wounds and he opened up a bit more. Questioning which of the many versions of himself he had shown her was the real one. Wondering who she was going to wake up to the next day. She hoped it was the same Jeno that chuckled lightly while they ate a bowl of ramen, talking about the future. She hoped it was the same Jeno that promised her he was going to be a better person. She hoped he could be his true self around her, but she started to fear that maybe that version of him didn’t even exist, that he tried so hard to conceal it that it simply disappeared and he, himself, had to find it somewhere he didn’t know. 

She sighed, struggling to grab a blanket, and covered their tired bodies, holding him closer, inhaling his scent before she tried to close her eyes, hoping the heavy sensation on her chest wouldn’t have been there by morning. 

But for now, it was, their hearts were beating as once with the same demons. He was right. They weren’t different, they were a different outcome of the same situation. Probably that was why they worked. She craved his bad, and he craved her good. But she doubted that foolish fantasy could last for long. 

Probably it was better to leave, to run and hide, maybe she was still in time to don’t miss him as if somebody cut her heart off her chest, still in time to don’t let his demons drown her too. But after all, she was a dumb girl, a fool for him. 

She would’ve always wanted him. In any way she could have him. 

And when she looked down at his relaxed face, eyelashes resting on his cheeks, and breath normal, she realized she couldn’t leave him. If she brought the better out of him, this couldn’t go wrong. It couldn’t be worst, at least. 

But the realization of how tricky the path they were going to take kept her up at night some more. 

Jeno was terrified of losing her, the only good part of him, the only person he could somehow mirror himself even though their apparent incompatibility. 

Somebody could’ve called it dedication, some other something darker. After all, the line between love and obsession is thin, and Jeno had crossed it for a while. And she had no idea if there was salvation for that. 

Jeno wasn’t only in love, Jeno was obsessed. 

taglist: @jenoxygen @bockhyun @harrypinks @eotokki-blog @painted-hills @zimsuhlabim​ @arlenejcc​

I hope you liked it, please leave feedback to show support ♡

[shuttershocky]

as arknights CN approaches its 4.5 anni, what are your theories for what the big event will be? predictions on operators? hopes and copes?

I never have any theories or expectations for Arknights events, it's a surprise every time.

That being said the announcement banner had musical notes in it so a return to Leithanien is a shoe-in. I'm expecting this to be the event where Altria lol Arturia becomes playable.

Ill tell you what I do hope and cope for though, modules.

Ebenholz has opened the path for a third module and his third module has proved to be absurdly powerful while unlocking a completely new playstyle for him (seriously just look at this fucked up total damage graph)

This means a new hope burns for Phantom and his fans, hopefully one that makes his clone take 0 deployment limit (and lets him recast his skills upon their duration ending, fuck it 4x S3 bomb time).

Other units I'm hoping to get a module for

Ho'olheyak - Poor Ho'ol is Release Passenger levels of bad. Qanipalaat does her crowd control levitation job but better, since he actually does a controllable burst of 7s levitation rather than the RNG fest of her S2 or her incredibly slow and inefficient S3. She needs big number buffs the way Passenger had or a new mechanic added that she can use, as right now her damage sucks, her crowd control is meh (her tornadoes should be AOE instead of single target since it takes her 3 fucking seconds to attack), and almost nobody else synergizes with her. She's awful. I will of course be maxing her out at once.

Carnelian - Giving Lin a module with literally everything she wants to make her invincible while Carnelian got +80% max HP was a personal affront to me and to Carnelian fans everywhere. If Carnelian has Mlynar levels of restrictions (except even more because highground units have more restrictions than ground units), then she deserves nothing less than Mlynar level damage. Remove the 5 stack restriction on her S3 charge, make that shit 10 stacks (+200% damage) or unlimited even, fuck it. Make her ASPD scale with skill duration too so that her S2 becomes a permabind while her S3 builds the stacks faster and also goes with her ATK scaling up over skill duration. Are you telling me Carnelian has to wait 40 seconds to attack like Mlynar, but only has a total S3 damage of 44kish? Ebenholz can hit for 30kish on one fully charged Mod X shot with S3, this is some bullshit. Carnelian deserves more and better.

Vigil - Please. Please HG. Look at what you've done to him. At least makes his wolves tankier. Do you know how sad he looks when you compare him to the other free 6 stars? Silence the Paradigmatic, Lumen, fucking Gladiia?? How could he be released in this state. Penance has never punched a man in her life and she's out here soloing the top lane at max risk CC12 while her best friend Leon was poised to take over a mafia family and his best weapons are a couple of peashooters and pathetic shikigami. He's not as bad as the memes make him out to be but good lord he's still really bad and needs help.

Thorns - He's still really good I just want a module that buffs his much more interesting S2 over his S3 for the memes. The look on their faces will be hilarious.

[spectersgirl]

Hi love! I’m not entirely sure how you feel about angst (I’m not the biggest fan of it myself) but I had this idea of Harvey making his usual morally grey decisions and reader getting upset with him about it but with like a super fluffy ending because I need that. ♥️

I do like a bit of angst from time to time, this I can do! I'd love to be able to go more into detail on specifics of cases or what would happen as a punishment but unfortunately, my only legal knowledge comes from the show, sooo this is the best I can do :) I hope you like it!!

Faith in Me

Harvey Specter x Reader

-------

"Harvey, this is wrong and you know it!"

"Whose side are you on here? I'm doing my job, Y/N. You know as well as I do that Hopkins doesn't deserve to go to jail for this! He's innocent. It's total bullshit! I find this document and this whole thing goes away."

"Whose side am I on?! Harvey of course I'm on your side, I'm your wife! Of course I know he doesn't deserve to go away for this, but this isn't the right way to do it."

"Y/N, I don't have time for this. I know you don't like this and neither do I, but it's what I have to do to win this goddamn thing. It's a bluff, and it's gonna work."

Harvey was defending a long-time client who was accused of corporate fraud. He knew this client wasn't guilty, the accuser had been shady the whole way through, and you believed Harvey but this wasn't sitting right with you. You were terrified of the consequences Harvey's actions could cause.

You now stood from the couch in your and Harvey's shared home, pacing through your living room.

"You're manufacturing evidence! Harvey, what if they find out. Do you understand what that means? What this could do to you? To us?" Tears threatened to fall from your eyes now. You both loved and hated the fact that Harvey was willing to fight to the death for what he believed in. It's what made him an incredible lawyer, and an incredible protector as your husband, but it scared the shit out of you when he was willing to cross lines and commit crimes to get what he needed.

He didn't respond. He only sat, watching you carefully, deciding what to say next.

Harvey knew from the first case he'd taken after you joined the firm how you felt about his grey areas and the lines he crossed, and until he met you he never thought twice about doing it. He absolutely hated disappointing you, but he hated losing cases, too. He knew his client deserved to win, but he had to cut a deal to keep this guy out of jail, and he knew the only way to get one was to 'find' this document.

When he finally spoke, he was quieter.

"You know I know what could happen. I'm telling you it won't. I need to do what I do. Please, just have faith in me." His voice wavered, and that was all it took for you to break down. Tears streamed down your cheeks and burned in your throat as you spoke.

"Harvey, I will always have faith in you, I love you. I always will. But I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try to talk you out of this and something happened to you because nobody else had the nerve to tell you that this is a bad idea."

Harvey stood now. He held out as long as get could, but he couldn't handle seeing you like that any longer. He pulled you into his arms and rubbed your back soothingly.

"I know this is hard for you. I'm sorry. It's gonna be okay." He whispered, kissing the top of your head.

"Promise me." You said quietly.

He pulled back, taking you at arm's length and looking deep into your eyes.

"Y/N, I promise. And you know I don't make promises I can't keep."

"Okay. Then if this is what you have to do, I'm behind you."

He searches your face for any signs of hesitation and for the first time tonight, since he told you his plan, he didn't find one.

"You trust me?" He asked earnestly.

"If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't have married you." you replied, a small smile appearing on your face.

It was Harvey's turn to smile now.

"Thank you." he whispered, wiping the tears from your face and leaning down to kiss you.

The kiss was full of relief. He felt lighter than he had all day. Not because he'd won the argument, but that he still had your faith in him.

[applbottmjeens]

AMERICAN TASTE

Phillip Graves x OC

tags: not super angsty, implied sex, hopeful(?) ending, Graves is a dickhead but he's in love, toxic ass relationship, MDNI anyway

summary: Phillip reminisces about how Anna used to be and who she is now.

Anna used to kiss his scars. 

An adorable gesture, and she definitely wasn't the only one who's done it. 

She didn't ask for stories, for reasons. Only soft kisses on whatever she'd find, and maybe a bite or two just to annoy him.

She took him for who he was- a cocky fuckin' asshole, a traitor, a cunning bastard who would tear her apart.

And she loved him anyway. Adored him like some misguided stray. He'd tell her he wasn't gonna cave into her charming little act so easily and she'd only hear that he called her charming.

What kind of bullshit was that? 

He knew she still loved him now. It's why she was here in his bed in the first place. Right?

But she doesn't kiss him at all. And who could blame her? 

It didn't mean he wasn't…upset by it. Offended even. 

He's said his apologies. Given her space. What about her forgiveness? He'd done so much for her. Given her this job, got her a place to hide from everyone else, got her someone she could trust to watch over the little bundle of joy that bastard from Busan had put in her before he fucked off out of the country. 

And now she couldn't even look at him. All because he said he loved her. 

She's in his bed, lying with her back turned to his as he plants gentle kisses on her back. Her muscles tense, his lips brushing over the tattoo she got in his memory when she was sure he was dead- an ace of spades card on fire, with the words: take this love to my grave.

There's a small bullet scar on her back. It's small and round like a pockmark healed near her shoulder. 

"...Gonna say anything?" He says, her silence more loud than any of the noises they'd made just minutes before.

"Annie?"

She grabs her clothes and slips them back on, not looking at him. The glimpses of her face look hurt. Numb. 

He wants to beg her to stay a little longer. Stay with him in bed, stay with him emotionally. But his pride wouldn't let him. Hadn't he begged her to join the Shadow Company? Wasn't that enough?

He'd taken his Annie for granted. 

Smiling up at him, leaning onto him, randomly sneaking kisses when she was sure nobody was there.

"There's my Phillip!" She'd grin when they were together, and smother him with hugs and he'd only roll his eyes and pretend he wasn't happy to see her too.

To him, there were two women he'd had the privilege of falling for in Annabelle. 

Annie, his adoring little thing whose rose tinted lenses made her see past the red flags. Who loved him like some hopeless teenage girl and got on his nerves for fun. Who played pranks and did everything to make him smile a little when he was around. Who looked damn pretty when she cleaned herself up, whose lipstick smudged perfectly when he messed with her.

And Sergeant Pham, who was just as good as Soap on the field and ambushed enemy soldiers hiding in crawl spaces or in the vents like some vermin. Who wasn't afraid of other people's blood and fought like she wasn't afraid of dying. Who hung onto her superior officer's words like gospel.

He lost his Annie the moment he followed his orders that November. But he gained Sergeant Pham when he'd convinced her that this job would be in her best interests for her son. Some would call it manipulation. He'd call it getting her to see what was best for her. 

Why won't she look at him?

"Hey." Phillip says quietly. "Annie." 

She turns to him, the dim lamp illuminating her face, her expression empty if not inconvenienced.

"...Stay with me." He says, and he swears he sees her eyes show some sort of emotion.

"I have to get up at-"

"Please." His voice cracks at the end. Her pause seems eternal before she crawls back into the sheets with him. She still doesn't face him, but his arms wrap around her waist and he pulls her close, sighing. 

"I love you." He says again. "I missed you so much, Ann." 

Minutes of silence. He's almost ready to just let himself hold her close until he falls asleep and wakes up without her there when he faintly hears her speak.

"...You too."

[teeth-cable]

You everr realize that Vivziepop is completely bullshitting when it comes to ethnic casting because of Millie?

Like we are definitely getting imp human disguises for merch reasons so its definitely going to come up.

But like if Millie is black then her family should be played by black VAs but all of them are white VAs. Like I don't think Millie is adopted since she looks like a younger version of her mother.

The best course would then be making Millie white and no we can't use Erica being the original VA as evidence because that was always meant to be a temp casting.

But then this creates an issue in Helluva Boss having no fucking diversity like Vivziepop doesn't have to answer to corporate demands to make the ENTIRE CAST white. She can choose to add diversity.

If she makes Millie black that's also showcasing a huge issue in Helluva's lack of diversity in its main group of characters and Millie could come off as a token. Then you have the fact Morgana and Ed would come under fire for taking POC roles as well as Spindle allowing it unless Vivziepop retcons Millie as adopted or half siblings with Sallie.

Like Into The Spiderverse had half its human cast be POC and it answered to corporate demands. Then Across The Spiderverse without spoiling anything has a MAJORITY of the cast be POC.

Now you can argue Spiderverse is based off existing material unlike Helluva but those existing materials had put effort into adding POC in the first place. And guess what Spiderverse had consulted actual minorities when it came to development of the project.

Vivziepop is latina but she's white passing so she needs to consult people who don't pass to get a better understanding overall on things. Like I'm disconnected from my own culture but just because I'm part of it doesn't mean I have a full picture of it.

Vivziepop also isn't black, asian or indigenous so if she's telling stories that features them she needs to do research and consult people.

She actually consulted Morgana about Sallie May being trans thankfully but... I never hear any talk about other people she talks to which shows poor ass attempts. Like Morgana's insight is valid but she does not speak for all trans people and yes you aren't going to please everybody with representation but just consulting a SINGLE PERSON is insane. We also know Viv according to leaked screenshots has or had some form of transphobia so she absolutely needs to consult more people if she's trying to change and do better especially if she's writing about a trans character.

Like Morgana being a white transwoman will not have the same experience as a black transwoman for example. Like I know that from actively trying to learn about trans people.

Like there's a youtuber UnicornofWar who made a video about how the show RWBY is terrible at handling its racism allegory. Now Unicorn is white but actively went out of their way to consult multiple POC for the video and did a shit ton of research. Now I will say Unicorn in the past has said ignorant things about stuff like white washing (thinking its ok because of art style color pallets back then) in earlier videos but currently denounces that viewpoint (note: Unicorn as far as Im aware has never said anything with vile. I have to clarify so I don't misrepresent their person and people don't assume Unicorn like said a slur) and actually apologizes for their ignorance.

Has Vivziepop ever denounced her old views or behavior? Has she apologized for being ignorant in certain things? Is making a serious effort to change? Has Vivziepop researched throughly and listened to POC insights or concerns?

As far as I'm aware she hasn't.

I have noticed Viv's weird choices for Millie as a black character. I hate to say this but Millie is supposed to be token rep which to me is weird because nobody was pressuring Viv to add rep to her shows. I will say this even in a universe where Viv hired black VAs to voice Millie's family and did do properly research and consulted black people, Millie would still be considered token rep because she is the only the only main character in the show to not have an self-centered EP and has the least amount of screentime.

It makes me wonder if the reason why the IMPs don't have a canon human form yet is because Viv doesn't want to draw POC characters. She has shown she knows the importance of these disguises and they sell well on merch but the only characters who have canon human forms are Stolas and Loona, two white characters who arguably don't even need them. Blitzo is voiced by Brandon Roger who is a mixed Filipino (It's also canon Blitzo looks like Brandon Roger and Blitzo and Brandon Roger are intertwined together so it doesn't make sense for Blitzo to be white), Millie being a black woman, and Moxxie, despite what you might believe is a mixed Latino.

The POC rep we already have isn't good either. In Spring Broken, Verosika and her gang, who the majority are POCs, gets arrested and Verosika makes a joke about sucking police dicks to get out of jail. Having a POC character make a rape joke about police corruption unironically is not funny. Moxxie's mom is obviously supposed to be Latina, falls into the trope of nice POC women who get brutally abused and killed by their white husbands. This actually could have work and wouldn't be as tokenizing if 1. we got to learn about Moxxie's mom as a person and 2. her death wasn't solely use to be angst bait for a male character.

The Spiderverse crew actively puts effort and consulted with POC about characters from their culture. During the early stage of writing for Pavitr Prabhakar, the writing team struggled writing his character and called his VA, Karan Soni to help them write and consult on the character. Thanks to Karan Soni's contribution for Pavitr Prabhakar, he is beloved by desi people alike. Viv doesn't do that and probably will never. She has shown time and time again, she doesn't respect religions, using their symbols as an aesthetic and for monetary gain. Viv's designs for black and other POC characters are terrible, them alway never having POC features and looking racial ambiguous as hell and she ignored the criticism from black and POC people for these POC characters.

[txemrn]

Déjà Vu

Chapter 4

New? Check out the first THREE chapters HERE! (Go ahead; we'll be here. 😉)

Series Summary: After an unforgettable night with a stranger, Princess Eleanor finds herself caught in a secret love triangle between a noble and a commoner.

Chapter Summary: Drake heads to Club Core with Leo; he unexpectedly meets a young woman that reminds him of a past life.

Pairing(s): mention of Liam x Riley; Drake x Riley (former)

Word Count: ~4970

Warning: 🔞 Mature Audiences Only 🔞 language (tons; it's Drake); sexual references (crude); mention of excessive drinking; drug-use reference; brief violence

A/N: Welcome to my Crack Fic! If you are new, hi! Thank you for joining us! This story takes place approximately 2 decades after TRR/TRH. I have made some canonical changes (they will be mentioned). Although this is from my crazy mind, it takes a village! Huge thanks to my sweet writing buddies for helping me figure out various parts! Love y'all! Characters and some plots belong to our friends at Pixelberry! This was not Beta'd; please excuse my errors.

~🖤~

Drake

What the fuck was I thinking? I hate large crowds and eardrum-piercing music. I hate being around people who can't hold their liquor, not to mention I hate dancing. But even worse, I hate Leonardo Anselm Phineas Rys. Old thorn in my side. What in the actual fuck made me agree to hang out with blondie in the first place? At a club? On opening night?

Because you're lonely, and he offered free booze…

My twisted expression relaxes as I shrug my shoulders. Meh. I guess it could be worse.

"Okay, baby… I'll be home later… yes… I'll tell Liam you said, 'hello'..." Leo gives an obnoxious kissing sound before disconnecting his call with the touch of a button. He lets out a sigh, taking a hit of his vape pen. "Dahlia," he answers to the question I never asked. He glances at me, sucking in his bottom lip before giving me a slow flutter of a wink.  "She's a bit clingy."

I nod, drumming my fingers against the leather interior, playing it cool like I care. "Is… she your–?"

"Friend."

Ah. Okay. 'Friend.'  The term just glides off of his tongue. Nonchalant. Sweet and syrupy, almost as if he believes the bullshit he's feeding this poor girl that's waiting at home for him. 

And she thinks what now? That he's coming over after an evening with his brother's family which, no doubt, she has never met. And judging by that brief interaction with goldie locks here, she doesn’t seem to have the intellectual capacity to wonder why she wasn't invited to the dinner in the first place.

Side-piece. Booty-call. Friend. It's all just semantics to douchebags like Leo Rys.

I fidget with the navy collar to the button-down shirt Leo loaned me. I could barely fit my broad shoulders into the lean cut of his tailored threads. The guy has a rock hard physique, but tough, manual labor creates a different kind of body. A strong one. Like mine.

The buttons pull slightly across my chest as I flash a glance in the car visor mirror. I look like a fucking tool. I'm not used to my stubble brushing up against starched cotton; I'm usually wearing a tee, my work denim and my steel-toes. I mean, unless I'm meeting with a client or going out to dinner where you have a waiter and utensils. But, other than that, I am a fish out of water: this shirt is uncomfortable. And I have a feeling this is just a prelude of what's to come.

At least Leo approved of my jeans and Tecovas. He tried throwing my trusty chambray shirt in the trash.  "No one has worn this for at least twenty years… and they weren't even wearing it then."

Fuck off.

We pull up to this club, and I swear everyone in Cordonia has turned out for this spectacle. The moment Rys steps out of his 'I didn't want anything too flashy' red Ferrari, the paps were on him like white on rice. Flashes of light rain from every direction as reporters flood him with curious questions about his Gucci loafers and gray Brioni blazer. 

Lucky for me, I'm a nobody, and the press quickly discovers that the moment I step out onto the red carpet. Dropping their cameras and microphones in disappointment, they instantly turn their attention elsewhere.  I don't know if I should be grateful… or offended, to be honest. At least confuse me for Leo's new lover… bunch of dickwads.

I push past the commotion, combing my hair out of my eyes as I look around the red carpet. This place is pretty snazzy, but holy fuck, they didn't spare with any expenses. It’s like a fucking fortress: a tall, wrought iron fence encased with stone surrounds the perimeter. Armed security in black tie a la James Bond swarm the space.

Now, the entrance? This wasn't just any ol’ red carpet; oh, fuck no, that wouldn't do for such a prestigious guest list. Contortionists and acrobats on pedestals perform sultry poses and maneuvers, leaving the crowd bewildered and amazed. 

Scantily clad women tend to the average Joe commoners waiting in line. They serve hors d'oeuvres and complimentary spirits, fooling them into thinking they're still important even though they're on the outskirts of the main event, and truth be told: they'll never get in.

Taking it all in, I suddenly feel a massive clap against my back before an arm hugs tightly around my neck.

"Ready, Walker?" Leo pops his gum in between his smarmy grin. "Let's get our dicks wet."

—

Fucking. A. I'm pretty sure I just entered the third level of hell.

"Hey-yo, Walker!" 

Make that the fourth level…

I glance back at Rys who is now flocked with an entourage of, and I quote, ‘aspiring models,’ all with their fake tits falling out of their tops, their overly-injected blow-job lips, and lashes so thick, you can't tell if they're sleeping or having a stroke.  He flashes those pearly whites as he dangles a small, gram-size plastic bag of white powder.

Now, I'm not against tokin' up or getting obliterated with alcohol, but cocaine isn't my style… not to mention, if we got caught–no doubt, Leo knows people that could bail us out, but if Liam and Riley were to hear about this? They'd kick me to the curb in an instant, especially with their kid around. They’d label me as a bad influence, and Liam would give me that fatherly disappointment glare.

"What do you think, Walker?" Leo nods with eager anticipation. "Wanna join… all of us?" He lets out a knowing laugh, winking at the women around him. They take his cue and begin to giggle, as if he was the funniest, most charming man they've ever met.

And my IQ just dropped two points.

"I think… I'm going to… " I notice a large bar area, quickly throwing a hitched thumb back at it. "...I'll check out the bar," 

"Suit yourself." The women practically swallow him whole with their arms. "Don't forget: give 'em my name. Drinks on me!"  

The drove of venereal diseases buzzes off with their king, and a sense of relief washes over me. Would I rather be at home? Absolutely, but since I'm already here…

I make my way toward the crowded bar area, ducking between drunken cat fights and groping couples. Finding a stool, I plant my ass down, and despite how busy it is, the bartender tends to me quickly–probably because I'm a 45- year-old man alone in a club. Translation: I have money, I know what I want, and chances are, what I order doesn't require my rim being bedazzled with seasonings, flowers, or fruit.

"What can I get ya?"

Oh, shit, I haven't heard that distinct nasally Portavira accent in so long. My God…

"Um… Larceny. Neat."

"Double?"

My man… I nod as I watch him pull out the bottle and a clean tumbler.

"Do you have a tab started, sir?"

I reach for my wallet, but I abruptly stop, remembering Leo's words. 'Give 'em my name. Drinks on me!'

"I do. It's under Rys," I smirk, "and actually, do you have Macallan?"

The bartender stops, giving me a glance over when finally a Cheshire grin creeps across his face as if he just struck oil. "We sure do, Mr. Rys." He extends his hand to fist bump me before reaching to the top shelf for a new bottle of the liquid gold. Before I knew it, he's twirling the tumbler across the bar. "Enjoy, Mr. Rys."

Taking a sip, I give him a wink as a thank you as I bask in the much needed woodsy burn of clove on my tongue. Damn, that's tasty.

Feeling more relaxed, I glance out onto the dance floor as other club-goers get lost in the hypnotic buzz of the ethanol electrifying their veins. The tantric beat of the music and the flashing swirl of multicolored lights feeds the adrenaline and raging hormones as people grab and grope one another.

I am way too old for this scene.

I grab my glass to take another pull when out of the corner of my eye, I see a familiar face at the bar. Turning my head to get a better look, I suddenly swallow my whiskey down the wrong pipe, causing me to fall into a fit of coughs. Smooth, Walker, real smooth. 

Blinking back the tears, I sniff into a napkin before looking back at the beautiful face. Shit. She's absolutely…wow. Gorgeous dark, silky waves, porcelain skin, that pouty mouth with those big, doe eyes… She's the spitting image of… Riley. 

"Fuck," I growl at myself before rubbing the shit out of my eyes. No way, it can't be. I look up again, and instantly I can feel my jeans begin to tighten. 

You're just wanting to see her. You're just wanting it to be her, especially with what happened back at the palace.

I down the rest of my drink before allowing my attention to be completely saturated by this girl. 

It's not Riley. It's not…

See? Her nose appears more prominent from the side, and-and her neck. Her neck seems longer, slender. And her eyes. They're gorgeous and big… they aren't Riley's navy blues, but damn, that sparkle–

"Would you like another–?"

"Please," I grumble as I stare at this Riley look-alike. I just… can't tear my eyes away. Her presence feels so real, so intimate. Now, judging from this woman's creamy, velvet skin, she's young. Maybe early 20s. Way out of my league… but still that face. It's like looking into a past life, a life I once loved.

—

(Two decades ago…)

"Brooks," Drake whispers loudly, "come on!"

"Shhhh!" Riley presses a finger to her lips, stifling her giggles as she looks down from her palace window. "Are you trying to wake everyone up? You're going to get me into trouble."

"You are trouble, lady."

Riley looks back at the commoner, the glint of mischief in his eyes making her adrenaline pump faster through her veins. "Now are you sure about this?" She bites her lip, "you'll catch me if–"

"For the hundredth time, yes," Drake rolls his eyes, holding his arms out wide. 

Since Drake's confession to Riley at Applewood, the two of them have been enjoying each other's company, especially after hours. They flirt with danger, sharing in kisses that they swear will never happen again for obvious reasons: she is there to pursue Liam and his hand in marriage; Drake is his best friend.

After watching Liam share a kiss with Riley, a dam of excruciating jealousy broke in Drake's heart. He already shared with Riley before that he was developing feelings for her, but now, it was… something else. Something more.

During dinner, the commoner passed her a note, asking her to meet him outside her window after midnight because they needed to talk.

Riley is staying in the guest quarters off the West Wing with the other suitors. She's only on the second floor, but still, a jump from that high could be dangerous. So, Drake helped the brunette construct a climbing rope with her top sheet. 

"I've got ya. Just… ease yourself over."

Riley takes one step at a time, following Drake's directions; but when she gets close to the ground, she looks back at Drake, raising an eyebrow, then jumps. 

"Whoa!" Drake stumbles as Riley crashes into his chest, his arms quickly cradling her close. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Riley giggles, combing her fingers through Drake's thick hair. "Sometimes a girl just wants to be caught."

Their eyes lock on one another, Drake's hand finding her cheek. He gently rubs his thumb across her soft skin, her eyes fluttering closed as she leans into his touch.

"Come with me," he whispers softly while grabbing her hand.

"Wait… I thought we were going to talk–"

"I want to show you something." Riley gives him a curious glare. "It's a surprise," he smirks, pulling her to follow him.

They walk silently, hand-in-hand across the grounds, playfully gazing back-and-forth at one another–that is, until all a sudden a bright flashlight skims over where they are walking.

"Who goes there?" A palace guard bellows.

"Brooks, take off your flip-flops," Drake commands under his breath, watching the guard in the distance.

"What? Why?"

"Just trust me," he squeezes her fingers. 

Riley quickly kicks them off, holding them in her hands. "Okay… now what?"

Drake grabs her hand again, his grip tight. "Run!" Giving her a warning tug, they both take off across the wet lawn, Riley following Drake's lead.

"Where… are we… going?" She pants, laughter bubbling from her chest.

"You'll see," Drake chuckles, "but we have to lose Barney Fife first!"

Dodging the glow of the searching lights, Drake and Riley finally make it to a large wall of greenery. Finding an entry, they pass through the walkway and hide behind the vines and leaves.

Drake looks to see if they finally lost the guards, but Riley takes a moment to look around the thicket they just entered. 

"Whoa," her eyes widen as she looks at the well-manicured covert. "Where… where are we?"

"It's… a maze. A hedge maze that we used to play in as kids."

"Are you serious?" She meanders down a corridor, looking around a corner. "It's so dark. Did you ever get lost?"

Drake chuckles, reaching into his pocket. "Plenty of times." He saunters closer to Riley, pulling out a flashlight and handing it to her. The air crackles around them as the charm of the blue moon ignites the twinkle in their eyes. Drake lowers his voice into a deep gravel. "Come get lost with me, Riley Brooks."

With that, he smiles and takes off jogging, Riley staying close behind. "Hey, not so fast Drake." She turns a corner and notices his denim shirt discarded on the grass. "You lost your shirt."

"Did I now?" He snickers. "Can you bring it to me?"

Riley scoffs into a giggle as she continues through the maze at the sound of his voice. "Maybe if you'd stop running away–"

"Maybe if you weren't so slow–"

"Hey!" Riley chides, "I just jumped out of a window–" she falls silent as finds Drake's belt tossed on the ground.  She collects it in her hand, biting her bottom lip. "Drake?"

"You're getting warm," he teases. Riley stumbles through another corner, turning left, then right. The sounds of her toes in the grass compliment her heavy breathing as she stops again to the cooing of his voice. "Warmer, Brooks." 

She continues until suddenly, she notices a warm glow just up ahead. Her steps quicken until finally she reaches a small clearing in the maze that opens to a stunning backdrop of the star-filled sky. Gas-lit sconces illuminate the garden, revealing tapestries of vines and flowers fixed to wooden lattice work amongst the bushes.

"Wow," Riley gasps, her eyes glowing with the wonder all around her. "This is beautiful." She feels Drake's warm touch on her hand, their fingers lacing together. 

"Cmon," he tugs on her, "I want to show you something."

"There's more?" She giggles, following his lead. They walk a short, pebbled path until they are standing in front of a large gray-stoned well. Riley presses her fingertips to the cold marbled edges before looking down into the dark abyss. Her eyes shift to Drake, "Is this where you murder me?" He chuckles, shaking his head as she turns back to the well opening. "Hello!" She shouts, the echoes welcoming each other back and forth.  

"I'll be honest, Brooks." Riley looks back at Drake. "I'm kinda shocked Liam hasn't already brought you here. It's one of his favorite places to show off in the entire estate."

"Oh," Riley's eyebrows knit together with a pained expression. 

"Hey," Drake nudges her playfully. "What's with the long face?"

Riley snickers into a scoff before finally succumbing to tears. "I'm just exhausted," she pulls her hands to her face.

"Brooks," he pulls her into his comforting arms.

"This social season bullshit is just … it's really screwing with my head," she sniffles. "I've never been more insecure in all my life, and what for?" She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, clearing her throat. "I wish I knew where I stood. I wish the competition was over. I wish–"

Drake reaches into his pocket, pulling out a couple of worn copper coins. He offers them to a confused Riley.

"Pennies?" She sniffles.

"Yeah," he chuckles, "I forgot to get rid of them when we were in New York. They're worthless here. No conversion."

Riley's lips begin to curl. "Then why keep them?"

Drake starts inspecting the coins in his hand, allowing them to softly clang together in his palm. "I read a book once–"

"--picture books don't count as reading."

"Ha. Ha." He smirks, feigning annoyance as he starts to jingle the coins in his hand. "I read that in ancient civilizations, finding random metals was a sign or a blessing from the gods."

"You see them everywhere back home. The streets, sidewalks," she snickers, "a whole cent. How generous of the gods."

"What? A penny isn't enough for you?" Drake playfully growls, slowly leaning closer to Riley.  She coyly bats her lashes, a soft titter in her throat. "Here." He puts a coin in her hand.

"What's this for?" Riley studies the trinket.

"For something bigger, citizens would offer the metal back to the gods, like a payment.  So they would say a silent prayer, then toss it–"

"--into a well," Riley softly finishes.

Drake nods over his shoulder to the stoned well. "Let's make your wishes count."

One by one, Drake and Riley silently take pennies, casting them into the well with unspoken hopes and dreams until every last coin was gone. Feeling his close proximity, Riley stares up into his dark eyes, getting lost into a charming stillness.

"What did you wish for?" She whispers.

Drake slowly shakes his head. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

He offers a crooked grin. Combing his fingers into Riley's dark, espresso waves, his hand gently grips the back of her neck, pulling her closer. "All my wishes have already come true, Brooks."  He closes the space between them, their lips grazing one another. The feather-light touch instantly ignites a hunger, one they both feel and crave. Drake pulls back, chuckling under his breath as he fidgets with the hem of Riley's shirt. "So... why didn't you take off any clothes?"

Riley bites her bottom lip. "Maybe... because... I wanted my wish to come true." She pauses, her fingers tucking into the front pocket of Drake's jeans, pulling his hips flush against hers.

He swallows thickly. "Which is?"

"Take them off for me, Walker."

—

(Present)

Damnit.  I adjust myself in my jeans, but my cock always hardens at the memory of Riley and me that night. We fucked. A lot. But that night, our first night together, it was more than just sex. We made love.

I take a swig of my new drink that the bartender must've dropped off while I was taking a stroll down the boulevard of broken dreams when my eyes dart to my Riley look-alike.

And I feel my dick shrink.

She's with someone, some blond tool, probably named Chad, with a tool haircut that shops at Tools-R-Us with a matching trust fund. 

I sigh to myself, polishing the rest of my drink before staring at my empty glass. 

He is pretty hot; I don't blame her.

I glance at them one more time, kissing my own dirty fantasy away when I notice something odd. His hand is sternly gripped around her wrist, staring at her like she's his next meal. 

But her face tells a different story. She seems to be struggling, trying to tear her arm away from him. Those big, doe eyes are panicked, large as table saucers as she frantically looks for help. 

I sigh. Goddamnit...

I wipe a napkin across my mouth as I stand, my glare fixed on this commotion transpiring before me. I shrug my shoulders, loosening the tight fabric off my back as I stretch my muscles. Just in case.

I hurry my way through the dense crowd of patrons gathered around the bar. I flex my fingers, bending my wrist as I get closer.

Ah, shit. This is the part I'm bad at. What do I say first? 'Stop that!' No, that's lame. I need something clever, like maybe, 'Is there a problem here?' How about–

My clenched fist meets his jaw, knocking the asshole in one swing into a bartop table before he crashes down onto the floor.  He's so disoriented; he's trying to get up, but he keeps slipping on shards of glass, falling back into the pathetic rumple he calls his life.

Fuck. My hand. I know it will hurt like a bitch in a few minutes when my body depletes of adrenaline, but for right now, I'm basking in the moment. 

A smirk grows on my mouth, but it doesn't last for long. The young woman. I turn to the Riley look-alike, her terrified stare already fixed on me. Instinctively, I carefully put my hand on her shoulder. She's shaking.

"Excuse me, miss. Are you alright?"

Ho.ly. Fuuuuuuck. 

Brooks? Seeing her up close is almost painful; I can feel my balls beginning to ache.  This woman is hauntingly stunning: the subtle freckles on her nose, the curve of the bow to her top lip, even the flounce of her long, flirty eyelashes. She's beautiful; she's… like somebody I used to know…

The young woman shyly nods, but she's trembling. She's clearly not alright. 

And I suddenly possess this overwhelming need to take her in my arms, hold her tight and let her know she's safe. 

Calm down, Walker. 

"Let's get you away from this." I look up, noticing an open lounge-type area near the dance floor with large, plush couches. Offering my arm, she holds on tightly as we escape through the debris of the nightmare that just happened. Placing a reassuring hand on her back, I encourage her to sit. 

I, on the other hand, keep an eye on douche canoe who is being helped up by security and his friends. But, I don't think he'll be a problem for us anymore tonight.  He never got a good look at me, and even if he had, something tells me his ego would keep him away from telling the truth of who made him taste his own blood.

Turning towards the young woman, I notice she is anxiously looking around, her body on edge.  I tilt myself to her ear, shouting over the blaring music, "Are you here with anyone?" 

She nods, "B-but it's okay," she yells back, waving her hands. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

She fakes a smile, and my God, it knocks me back. Stunning.

Focus on her words, Walker...

"I don't exactly want to…" 

I don't quite understand the rest of her statement, her words lost in the heavy beat of the music. I give her an inquisitive look, causing her to careen towards my ear, her hand brushing across my shoulder.

And my cock twitches. Breathe, buddy…

"I said… I don't want to interrupt their fun." She motions aimlessly to the dance floor. Got it.

"Can I call someone for you? Family perhaps?"

Her eyes widen. "What? No, no." 

She grins, but it's clearly hiding her true feelings. Which is fine. I'm a complete stranger. Shit, she probably thinks I'm some creepy old man, hitting on her at the bar. And sure, maybe on a night where she wasn't assaulted, maybe I would've bought her a drink, asked for her number.

But the fact of the matter is this: I really don't feel comfortable leaving this girl alone. She  just got into a physical altercation with… whoever that guy was. Her boyfriend? Oh shit, husband? I look at her hand; I don't see a ring, but that doesn't mean anything. You never know these days. Still, she doesn't need to be by herself right now. She really doesn't need to be here, but again, who am I but another creep at the bar.

I run my fingers through my hair. Oh, what the hell. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

A hint of fear crosses her expression as she looks me over. 

I hold up my hands in defense before leaning over her shoulder. "I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone in a place like this," I shout, "especially with what happened with your boyfriend."

She takes a deep breath. She flashes those big, brown eyes at me before finally nodding in agreement. 

And my heart melts. 

I offer my hand. "Drake."

The corners of her lips curl as she takes my hand, leaning towards my ear. "Jake?" She yells.

I shake my head, facing her ear more directly. "Drake!" I holler over the deep thrumming of the bass.

She raises an eyebrow. "Jake?" 

Eh, close enough. I smile in agreement.

"I'm Nora," she smiles, already more relaxed.

"Nora?" I repeat, ensuring I heard her correctly. At least one of us should be called by our real names this evening. 

She nods innocently, a beautiful rosy pink painting her cheeks. "Oh, and, um… he's not my boyfriend."  A piece of her hair falls like liquid silk into her eyes as she looks down at her lap. She quickly shoos the wisp away, chasing it behind her ear before looking back at me, trying to figure out my angle. Am I here to hurt her? Flirt with her? Invite her home for a messy, drunken fuck?

Don't worry, sweetie, you're safe with me.

"American?"

She catches me off guard with that one. "Uh, yeah. How did you–?"

She points to her mouth, her lips perfectly rounded and plump, painted a deep crimson. Oh, duh. My watered-down accent. Toto, we're not in Texas anymore. It's hard to believe that at one point in my life, I actually sounded like these people. Every once in a while, the Cordonian beast pounces, but these days, I sound like the typical American mutt.

"Are you on vacation?" Nora asks.

I smirk, shaking my head. "I… moved here for work."

"To Cordonia?" She snickers. "Of all places?"

"Fair," I chuckle under my breath as I feel the heat rise up my neck. "I… grew up here, so I have… connections, friends and family. It makes for an easy transition. How about you?"

Her eyes brighten, like a pageant contestant being asked about world peace. "Cordonian. Born and raised."

"That's unfortunate," I joke. Sorta.

"Hey," she giggles, scrunching up her nose playfully.  She swats the back of her hand against my shoulder. The touch sends a shockwave of familiarity, robbing me of my breath. "I love Cordonia–"

"Spoken like a true Cordonian."

"And… what's wrong with that?"

Drake guffaws. "What isn't wrong with that?"

"Your tone is suggesting that there's something wrong with having pride in your country–"

"It's egotistical–"

"The only thing egotistical is thinking that your opinion about Cordonia is the only opinion to be had." She furrows her brows. "If you hate it so much, why did you come back?"

Shit. She's feisty. And this conversation has gone completely off the rails.  I can't tell if she's really pissed… or if I'm just really turned on and wanting a sparring match. 

Fuck. You just had to be a jackass…

"Okay, truth?" I offer, even though I'm sure she wants to toss a drink in my face at this point.

She turns to face me, tucking her leg underneath her. "Please."

"I had a rough time fitting in here. Except for my best friend. He's–" I grin thinking about Liam and I, growing up together, how perfect and inseparable we were. "--as Cordonian as you can get. Well, except… I mean, his mom… nevermind," I shake my head. "He's the nicest person I've ever met in my life. I needed some help after a bad business deal, and… he was there and… now I'm here."

"Huh." She sits back, crossing her arms as she takes me in. She raises an eyebrow, the corner of her lips curling. She's clearly unsure of me, and I don't blame her. 

"Drinks?" A cocktail waitress dressed in a skimpy, leather skirt interrupts us.

Rubbing the back of my neck nervously, I turn to Nora. I have a feeling that this might be the end of the night for us, especially if I don't offer her a cocktail.

I stare at the sparkling flecks of bronze in her eyes. There's something about this girl, more than just the memories she stirs up in me. I can't explain it… shit, then again, maybe I'm fooling myself, wanting something to be there that never was. Still… I clear my throat… you never know unless you try.

 "Would… you like one? A drink?"

She narrows her eyes in thought… and fucking hell, she's so goddamn beautiful. Like Riley incarnate. The mannerisms, some of her expressions. Watching her literally robs me of speech and air, and I am dying to spend more time with her. Hell, who knows where the night will take us. 

I really hope she agrees to this drink. I can tell I haven't exactly won her over in the past twenty minutes, but if she would just agree to one more drink, just a few more minutes with me, maybe history could repeat itself. Maybe I could experience the woman of my dreams in a different way. Now, I could never tell Nora this; she could never find out. I mean, I am attracted to her, it's just…

"Sure," Nora interrupts my thoughts, her lips curling. "I'll take a drink."

~🖤~

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[a-strange-inkling]

Trimmings (P1)

(Hellcheer Short set in the Old Haunts Universe)

A/N: A little humor to break up all my angst-heavy writing lol

A Metalhead’s hair is sacred, but fire is fire.

Chicago, Illinois 1988

“I blame you entirely.” Eddie seethes, shuffling lower in his seat, the God awful smell of burnt follicles still oppressing his nostrils. He’s spent the better part of the car ride scowling in silence, trying to think of a way to undo this, some solution, some trick.

“No, nuh-uh, nope, absolutely not,” Gareth chimes from the driver’s seat loudly. “I’m not taking the fall for this one… How the hell is it my fault?”

“You gave Jimmy the go ahead!”

“Bullshit! I’ve been second in command for twelve fucking years, I said it would be awesome, but you had the final say.”

“Because you made it sound like he knew his shit!”

“Oh, please, you nearly creamed your pants when you heard the word pyrotechnics.” he snaps. “You were just as onboard as the rest of us.”

“Yeah well …” he scoffs. “You recruited Jimmy in the first place.”

“Because we needed a new lead singer and some eye candy for the girls… not because he‘s a smart guy, Eddie.”

He groans miserably, palming his eyes. It really doesn’t matter whose fault it is—not his—because it doesn’t change anything.

The damage is done.

“…Want me to call Chrissy?” Gareth asks after a couple of minutes of awkward silence.

“Yeah, yeah,” he barks sarcastically in a manic, high pitch voice as he snaps back up. “That’s a great idea, Gareth, let’s call my anxiety ridden wife while she’s at class and tell her that I caught on fire at rehearsal with our four month old daughter in the vicinity!”

“Hey, hey, I’m just trying to help, nobody got hurt…”

Eddie gawks at him.

“Like legitimately hurt, dude… You don’t have any bad burns or anything. It could have been way worse.”

“Man, I’ve been growing this out since I was fifteen.”

“It’s not…” Gareth brakes at a red light, frowning as he takes him in. “…that bad.”

Olivia fusses a little in her car seat. Eddie glances back, pulling half his body through the console to check on her. “I know, bug, I know, your Uncle Gareth is a liar.” he says, reaching to rub her tiny tummy till she calms back down, shooting his drummer a death glare all the while.

Gareth rolls his eyes. “Just calm down, I told you, Amber’s got this, she’s the best.”

“Yeah, yeah everyone’s the best, so long as they’re screwing you.” he hisses as they pull into the salon.

“No man, I mean it, she’s a legit miracle worker, she does my hair and Ned’s too…”

“Oh, well now I’m convinced.” Eddie sings with mock enthusiasm as he slams his door shut, opening the back door to get Olivia out. She’s wide awake now, staring up at him with her big brown eyes. “Hey there princess, come here.”

She makes little coo sounds, kicking her legs excitedly at the sight of him and, goddamn it, he falls in love with her all over again. “I know, I know, it’s been so crazy today, but you’re being so good, such a good girl.” he gushes. “Just a little longer and then we can go home, okay?”

He pulls her out, gently cradling her against him, careful not to get any cinders on her. Gareth slips on the front pack, readjusting it to his size. “Have to hang with Uncle Gareth for a little bit, okay?” he tells her, kissing her soft, peach fuzz cheeks a few times before strapping her to Gareth’s chest. He gives him an up and down stare. “Now, this may be hard for you, but please don’t set my baby on fire.”

Gareth rolls his eyes. “I’ll do my best.” he replies snidely, noticing some side looks from a few women passing by as they exit the building. “…We look like an alternative gay couple with our love child.”

“Yeah right,” Eddie finishes clipping Olivia in, slinging the baby bag over his shoulder. “There’s no way our love child could be this cute with half of your genetics.”

Gareth gasps. “I’m adorable, what the fuck?”

“Hey,” Eddie turns back around and scuffs him. “She’s awake now, watch the language.”

They step inside and make their way to the front desk where a platinum blonde is stereotypically reading a Cosmo magazine and chewing loudly on Hubba Bubba bubble gum. She glances up. “Hello—AHK! Holy—” she exclaims, just short of cursing as she straightens in her seat. “…smokes.”

She winces. That wasn’t really the right thing to say either.

Eddie comically scrunches his whole face right back at her. Smooth.

“Hey, Bev.” Gareth greets. “As you can see we kind of have a bit of an emergency on our hands; is Amber in?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah Gare… let me just go get her, hold on...” she replies, visibly cringing, teeth clenched as she backs away into the next room. “You can uh… take a seat.”

They plop down in the small waiting area, the smell of hairspray and perm lotion making Eddie somewhat nauseous with the mixed scent of his burnt hair.

“You better be right about this.” he mutters to Gareth, giving Olivia her binky to suck on preemptively, knowing she’s not going to like it when he leaves the room. She’s a perfect little angel, but she’ll get fussy and usually cry if he and Chrissy aren’t around. It seems she’s inherited their shared separation anxiety.

“Look, dude, she’ll fix it the best she can, but you’ve got to accept here and now that it’s going to be… shorter.” the drummer replies, giving Oilvia a habitual kiss on the head, bouncing a little in his seat to amuse her. “I mean a lot—some—some—of it is already… you know… gone.” he gestures up to the one section that’s singed all the way up to his earlobe on the left side. A few more crispy strands fall like snowflakes to the floor at the movement. Eddie shoots him the stink eye.

“Gare Bear!! I didn’t know you were coming to see me today!” A pretty brunette with an impressively large perm steps through a beaded curtain wearing a mini skirt and a red cropped tank top. “My rockstar!”

“Hey Ambie Bambi, how are you, baby?” he hops up to his feet as she bounds up and kisses him, poor little Olivia sandwiched between their lovers’ embrace.

Eddie feels his eyes almost roll right out of his head.

The four month old makes a small whine in protest, her round eyes meeting Eddie from under them as if in a silent plea for help, sucking more frantically on her pacifier.

“Alright, break it up, you’re squishing my child.” he stands, clapping his hands at them as if to shoo a flock of birds.

Amber pulls away with a pop, looking down and folding her hands beneath her chin. “Oh, what a little sweetie pie, what’s your name, cutie?”

“This is Olivia.” Gareth tells her proudly as if he produced her himself, lifting his chest a little to grant her better access. “Her friends call her Livvy.”

“Awww she is scrumptious! Goochie goochie goo!” she tickles Olivia’s chin, and the poor baby looks confused and horrified, the situation having somehow gotten worse. “You look so cute with a baby, Gare Bear!”

“You think?”

“Mmhmm.” she hums, tickling his chin next.

“Yeah, well you know me, babe.” he giggles a little at her ministrations. “I’ve always been great with kids.”

Eddie deadpans, fairly sure Gareth has never even held a baby before Olivia. He coughs obnoxiously loud into his fist, making the couple finally turn to acknowledge him.

“Ambie, this is my bandmate, Eddie, he um… needs a little help, as you can see.”

“Yikes! Bev wasn’t kidding,” she reaches out to lift up a corner of his hair, assessing the damage. “Have a little trouble with the stove top, honey?”

“Flame projector, actually.” Eddie corrects, glowering.

“Jesus! You rocker boys, never a dull moment!” she exclaims with a laugh. “Let’s get you in a chair, I think you’re still smoking a little.”

Olivia immediately starts to fuss, her binky falling to the floor, as he follows after Amber. Eddie stops and turns back.

“Aw, Livvy, it's okay.” Gareth comforts. “He’s not going far.”

“You two can come too, if you don’t mind it being a little cramped,” Amber tells them.

“That’d be great, she might start crying if she doesn’t know where I am.” Eddie replies.

“Aw, how cute, a little daddy’s girl!” Amber places a hand over her heart as she pulls back the beaded curtain for them. “She’s your clone, by the way.”

“That’s what my wife says.” he replies as he sits down in the chair in front of the large mirror, grimacing at his reflection. It’s so bad.

“Okay, honey, I think the best course of action is to trim off the burnt edges, then we’ll wash it down and see where you want to go from there.” she tells him, wrapping a gown around his neck, clipping the back.

“Okay…” he tries not to cry, sniffing loudly. He’s a grown ass man. “Can you please keep it as long as you possibly can?”

“Absolutely.” she replies, but he notices her exchange a long glance with Gareth as she picks up her scissors.

[callmemana]

What You Know, Is Nothing.

A Bob Floyd x female!reader fanfic:

Summary: Bob goes home for leave and as a surprise the dagger squad pays him a visit and learns more about their fellow aviator.

🚨A special thank you to @sebsxphia @jungle-angel @twosroos @thedaredevilsgirl for the ideas! I love and appreciate all of you!🚨 and a thank you to @eddiemypuppetmaster and @sweetlittlegingy for proof reading! 

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

After the uranium mission, the dagger squad had gotten closer and had learned more about each other over the next couple of months. As the group learned about their fellow aviator’s personal life, like how Hangman is the eldest of four and has three sisters; how Rooster grew up surrounded by the 86’ squadron after his father, Goose, had died and many more interesting things. The only person who’s yet to be open with the team was Bob. They knew some basic information, like his name and home state, but other than that, nothing. It wasn’t until a mysterious message was sent to Phoenix from an ‘Kacey Floyd’ that she gained more knowledge about her back seater. After weeks of messaging each other, Phoenix and the other aviators were invited to Floyd’s ranch. As it got closer to the day they left for their families, the secret stayed quiet. While at the Hard Deck Bob, as always, stayed his shy, wallflower self. Only speaking when spoken to. Bob was in his own little world when his phone went off, it was his mother, asking when his flight was and who was going to pick him up. Bob sighed loudly, which gathered the attention of the other aviators, “What’s the matter Bob?” Bob bowed his head, closed his eyes in frustration, then looked back up to his questioner, “My Ma, she’s asking me about who’s gonna pick me up at the airport.” “So, who’s picking you up? She’s worried about her son.” Replied Rooster. “I don’t need a ride; I left my truck at the airport last time I visited and its still good on gas.” “You left your truck at the airport, even though you knew you wouldn’t be back for a while?” asked Payback. Bob nodded, “Well, technically my girlfriend has my truck, she’s going to drive up with a friend and leave my truck there for me.” The team was speechless, bob had a girlfriend? “I’m sorry, could you please say that again?” asked Hangman, thinking he’d heard wrong. Bob scrunched his eyebrows together, “My girlfriend is going to drive up with a friend and leave my truck?” “Why did we never know that you had a girlfriend?” “Because nobody asked?” “Well now we’re asking!” “Yeah, tell us about yourself Bob.” “I’m good, there’s nothing to know.” “What’s your parents’ names? Do you have any siblings?” Bob chuckled lightly, “Why the sudden interest?” “Because we work together and while we do, we need to know about each other more.” “That’s bullshit, and you all know it.” “Its bull-true!” Bob gave a slight glare to the others, “Fine, my parents’ names are Joseph and Kacey, I have four siblings, two older and two younger.” “Their names are?” “Seriously, why are y’all so interested in my life right now?” “Well, I should know this information as you are my back-seater.” Replied Phoenix. “My older brother’s name is Austin, my older sister’s name is Isabella, and my younger sister’s name is Chloe, and my younger brother is Colton. Anything else? My blood type, middle name? If I’m an organ donor?” “Yes,” “Did you realize that your accent comes out more when your frustrated?” “My middle name is James, AB positive, and yes I am.” Bob got up out of his chair and left to get another drink, this time a beer. “Jesus guys and Phoenix, we drove him to drink!” said Hangman. “He’s probably stressed with going home, I mean, it’s been a while since he’s been home from what I can tell,” said Fanboy. “So, he shouldn’t get frustrated with his mom, she’s just worried about her son.” “It’s nice that she’s there for him, at least he has someone,” said Rooster. “Don’t start on the sob story Roost.” Bob kept away from the others until the day he had to catch his plane to good Ol’ Wyoming. Bob went home for leave, where he could visit his home and see his family again, and that’s where he was now, helping his father, and two brothers fixing the fence that broke but didn’t have the time nor people to fix. He had on a trucker hat with this family’s ranch on it and blue jeans, his shirt discarded as soon as the summer sun of Wyoming reached about noon on this particular day. He heard a couple of cars driving down the dirt road but paid no attention to it, focused mainly on the fence. 

The cars’ doors opened and closed as Bob continued to work. Without his shirt, Bob could be seen with muscles that could go head to head with Rooster’s or even Hangman’s on any given day and tattoos. The squad didn’t think that Bob would be as fit as he was, considering how most of his free time on base was used to sit in a cozy chair and reading a book, nor did they think that Bob would be the type of person to have tattoos. As the team stood by the cars and stared, it seems that they were caught red handed looking at their fellow aviator. “Hey Bam, ain’t those your fancy pilot buddies?” “Now you’re just messin’ with me, Austin. How many times do I have to say that we aren’t that close, they don’t know where I am, I didn’t give them anything about my personal life. There ain’t no way, they are here,” retorted Bob. “Bam, look over there, don’t those guys look like the people from that picture you sent?” asked Colt. Rolling his eyes, Bob lifted his hat and wiped his forehead before putting it back on and looking in the driveway, and to his surprise, his fellow aviators were in fact at his family’s ranch. 

“What in the hell?” he whispered under his breath. Bob looked at his brothers, both just as confused as he was on why they were here. Soon his mom came out of the old farm house and greeted the guest followed by his sisters. “Bam, Austin, Colt! Get your asses over here and say hi, I didn’t raise no hoodlums!” “Yeah Ma, were comin’!” “Bam, grab the tools, we’ll move on to the next fence afterwards.” doing as his brother asked, he grabbed the tools and his shirt as he made his way over to the group forming. “Bam never said that we were havin’ guest.” said his sister, Isabella. “Because he didn’t know, it was supposed to be a surprise for him.” “Well, come on! Introduce us Bam,” Bob had always hated that nickname since he was a child, so rolling his eyes, “Ma, Isabella, Chloe, Austin, Colt, this is my team members from the dagger squad, Natasha, Reuben, Mickey, Jake, Javy, Bradley, this is my mother, Kacey, older sister Isabella, younger sister Chloe, older brother Austin, and younger brother Colt. There happy? We still got fence to fix, but make yourselves at home inside.” finished, Bob as he and his brothers hopped on the quads nearby and made their way to the other fences. 

“I’m sorry about Bam, he doesn’t like surprises much. But y’all are welcome to go inside to cool off while I finish up with lunch.” “I’m sorry Mrs. Floyd, but why do you call Bob ‘Bam’?” asked Natasha with curiosity. “Oh, please call me Kacey, Mrs. Floyd was my mother-in-law. When Robert was a baby he had blond hair so white that it looked like Bam Bam from the Flintstones and he would take a toy hammer and smack everything with it. The nickname just stuck from that, he absolutely hates it, but he will always be our Bam Bam.” laughs could be heard from behind her as she lead the group into the house and to the guest rooms. Isabella and Chloe helped with lunch while they settled in. There were pictures all around of the five siblings and their childhood, it looked like a scrap book with all of the photos, all of different ages and activities. 

One particular photo caught Reuben’s eyes and he smacked Mickey who gasped, the photo was of Bob on a bull, riding with one of his hands on his hat and the other holding tight a rope to stay on as the bull bucked. “Guys, you’ll never believe this, but it looks like Bob was a bull rider before the army,” said Mickey, which grabbed the others’ attention and went to look at the picture. Isabella came in at the sight of them entranced by it and chuckled, “Y’all really don't know squat about Bam do you? Bradley shook his head, “No, we know his name, that he’s a WSO, and that he doesn’t drink, but that’s all.” Isabella laughed loudly at the last statement, “Oh, y’all are up for a treat! Bam used to go out every weekend and drink with his buddies in the cornfields out by the Cordell’s farm and get shitfaced, come home early the next day and then go to work on the farm,” the team had their eyes wide and jaws to the floor, no way was ‘Baby on Board’ a partier, not in high school and defiantly not now. 

“When he came home one day, and Ma had had enough of the drinkin’, she told him no more until he turned twenty-one and then he decided to join up. So, I’m guessing he don’t drink around y’all?” Bradley was the one to speak, “No, he doesn’t” “Was he really like that growing up?” “Oh was that boy trouble, he would-” “Ma! We’re done, and don’t be tellin’ them nothin’!” “Oh, hush boy!” Bob and his brothers came into the room and sat on the couch and recliner, that was until their mom came over and smacked them upside the head, “Don’t be gettin’ sweat on my chairs now, go shower the lot of ya!” they all grumbled as they got up and retreated into their rooms, “No smoking either!” she shouted once more, “that’s for outside only!” “Kacey, it was nice of you to let us stay here, but if Bob isn’t ok with this we can leave,” suggested Mickey, always the kindhearted one. “No, no, it’s fine. He’s just not too big on surprises and such. He’ll get over it, and if anyone of you catch him smoking, please snuff it out, he can’t be ruining those lungs with the stuff y’all do for the Navy!” They all nodded and agreed, another thing they never knew about Bob, he used to drink like a frat boy and smokes, who knew. 

After his shower, he picked up his room a little bit before heading back downstairs to his teammates, who were enthralled by a story his sister was telling, he rested on the doorframe as he waited for the end. “He would jump from the hayloft to a patch of hay to get away from Dad when he would get in trouble, that boy always came inside smelling like shit and had hay everywhere.” he chuckled at the story, a fond one from his childhood. Nat was the first to spot him, “Hey,” Bob just nodded his greeting. “You’re not too mad at us right?” Bob just shook his head, “No, y’all just wanted to get to know me better, I know I was less than giving with information about myself.” “So, tell us man. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want to get to know you.” Bob pushed himself off the position he was in and sat on a chair at the table, “What do you wanna know?” “Where did your accent go when we were at Top Gun?” asked Reuben. “I got made fun of because I ‘sounded less smart’ when I talked so no one took me seriously as a WSO. I had enough of it and started to lose it gradually as I went from base to base.” Bob shrugged. “You drank a lot in high school?” Bob’s eyebrows furrowed as he glared at Isabella, who giggled, “Yeah, there’s not a lot to do here. It’s either hanging out in the Walmart parking lot, or going to a friends’ field, having a bonfire, and drinking til the beer runs out. I chose the latter.” Bob folds his arms over his chest and leans back as he waits for the questions from his team. “Or rodeos, he was a big hit at the local and county rodeos, always went to state and won.” bragged Austin as he joined the group. “Bam here was the champion for years before he went and joined the Navy, still talked about round that time of year.” “Apparently there’s one coming up next weekend, thinking of signing up there Robert?” Bob rolled his eyes, “I’m retired, and you know that, Izzy.” “So, you got to show your Navy friends the rodeo, its super fun and you loved the adrenalin rushes when you ride!” joined in Chloe as Bob shook his head, “Not happenin’, I’ll take them to a hole in the wall or a cornfield party. Heard Patterson say he was planning one soon,” “No, come on Robert!” Bob’s phone went off and checked the name, Y/N, he got up and grabbed his hat, “I’m out, see y’all soon. I’ll be home for dinner!” confused, the others looked at the family in the kitchen who smiled, “That was his girlfriend, Y/N, she must need something. Don’t worry he’ll be back.” “What’s she like?” asked Javy with a smirk, “Prettier than sin, and as smart as a whip.” “Any pictures?” “Plenty, they’ve been together since freshman year.” “That’s adorable!” “Plans to propose next June when he gets leave again,” said Chloe. “Who knew Bob was a romantic?” “Well, we did, but he’s our brother so,” said Colt.

As dinner came closer and closer there was still no sign of Bob. It wasn’t until the plates and table where cleared that Bob reappeared, but with his hair frazzled, left eye black, and knuckles opened and bloody. His siblings rolled their eyes at him, this was just another night for them. The dagger squad jumped up immediately and surrounded their friend. “What the hell Bob?” “Are you ok?” “Are you hurt anywhere else?” Bob held up his hands to silent them, “I’m fine, just got into a bar fight.” “A bar fight?” “What the actual fuck?” “Are you sure your alright?” Bob nodded his head sternly, “Yeah, some asshole was talkin shit about me and Y/N called to come pick her up before she did something she’d regret. By the time I got there, it was already going down, a friend of mine from high school jumped in to protect Y/N.” “Is she here?” “Can we meet her?” Bob shrugged, “Sure, I guess. She’s outside still trying to clean up.” “Clean up?” “You don’t think that a girl from the Midwest don’t know how to throw down do you? Girl’s here throw hands like it’s a conversation starter.” “Respect.” “Should be in soon,” as soon as Bob finished his sentence a woman in bootcut jeans, a t shirt, steel toed boots, and a dirty white Stetson came through the door and looked around at the dagger squad, “Well Hell, when you said you got yourself guests Bam, I didn’t realize they’d be this good lookin’!” “Y/N, this is the dagger squad, Nat, Bradley, Jake, Javy, Mickey, and Reuben. Guys this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” “Its nice to finally meet y’all, Bam doesn’t talk much about his Navy friends when he visits. Hell, half of the time we gotta hound him to take leave.” Said Kacey, smacking her son’s shoulders affectionately. They talked for hours catching Y/N up about all of the things the squadron did these last couple of months and his family told embarrassing childhood stories of Bob, who would add details or laugh with the others. Bob would never come out to say it, but this was probably the best leave he’s taken. His Navy family finally met his real family. He was a happy man.

[sarahowritesostucky]

Re-uploading my library with only the fluffier🌺 pieces, because fiction⛔reality, but nobody told the 🧌🧌 that

If you used to follow me at sarah-writes-stucky, this is the reboot of that blog, so please give a follow and a re-blog! I miss y'all!

📖It Started with Helga the Lunch Lady

Rated T

Pairing: Bucky x Steve

Tags: Dom/sub au, sub Steve, subdrop, humor, Sam Wilson is a good bro

Summary: After a slight collapse at work, Steve is forced to admit his status as a high needs submissive. A prequel starting point for "Wet Dream"

"So."

"So."

"SO, I'm gonna assume you lied on your paperwork," Sam says, asking and yet somehow stating at the same time. He's looking at Steve from across the shiny top of the conference table with his big googly eyes - his "don't bullshit me" eyes - and Steve's plans to lie through his teeth dissolve into dust and float away.

"Yeah," he mumbles, unhappy about having to fess up. But it's pretty obvious at this point, since he's just come from the mess - where he'd collapsed.

All the lunch lady had to do was tell him a little too authoritatively that she wanted to see him "be a good boy and clean [his] plate today," and the next thing Steve knows, Sam's scraping him off the floor and walking him to the nearest vacant room, dumping him into a conference chair and complaining about how heavy he is.

"It's not a problem," Steve hurries to say, though his speech is still noticeably clumsy from the lunchroom incident.

Sam scowls. "Rogers, just, I mean - well look at yourself!"

What used to be a tuna sandwich is smeared down the front of Steve's shirt and the crotch of his pants, like damning evidence, a metaphor for his shitty and unfulfilling dating life. Steve frowns down at it, feeling miserable. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I did. Lie."

"Uh-huh."

"I didn't think I'd get the job if I- "

"YOU wrote down that you were a one," Sam interrupts harshly. "That's what you said when I interviewed your ass." He folds his arms across his chest, eyes flicking up and down disdainfully at Steve's ruined clothes. "And over my dead Titi's grave are you a one. So, what level are you?"

Steve winces. "It's really not that big of a d- "

"What. level?"

Steve's shoulders slump and he glumly admits, "... six."

Sam jerks away from the table with a 'what the fucking hell!' gesture.

"I'm sorry! okay?"

"What the fucking hell, Rogers?"

"I know, I know."

"You could get in big trouble for this, Steve!" Sam jabs a finger in his direction, then turns it on himself. "Hell, I'm gonna get in trouble."

"Nobody's gonna get in trouble," Steve insists, some of his fire coming back at the idea of everybody at his work knowing. "Cause you're not gonna tell anybody. Sam? Sam!"

"Shut up." Sam's not even looking at him. He's pulled his phone out, is looking something up, muttering under his breath about how he's sick and tired of dealing with 'too many goddamn cocky dumbass Army grunt jarheads' until he finds what it is he's been searching for. He taps on the screen and puts the phone to his ear, pointing at Steve with big, wide, angry googly eyes when he sees Steve's mouth open to argue again. "Ah! Not a word."

Steve can only sit there helplessly as he hears Sam's call being picked up, and then he has to suffer through the small torture of not interrupting while his manager has a clipped conversation with somebody on the other end of the line about his "high needs employee."

"Sam," he tries again, once Sam's hung up from the call. "I don't need that, seriously,"

"No, you do, seriously," Sam says tersely, glaring across the table for another second before his angry expression gives way to that of a worried friend. He sighs and stands up, rounding the table to stand next to Steve. "Look, man, I get it. You don't want to tell people, that's your business. But you can't go without getting dropped. Not for however long I know your stubborn ass's probably gone. Falling apart just cause Hilda looks at you sideways?"

"... it's Helga," Steve mumbles. "And hey, you don't know: she can be really intimidating." It's a weak argument that holds up about as well as Steve had, back in the mess. Sam doesn't even dignify it with an answer. "What're you gonna do?" Steve worries.

Sam puts a hand on his shoulder. He pats him. "Nothing, if you take care of yourself." He removes the hand and heads for the door just behind and to Steve's left. "I'll text you the place. You're off on personal leave the rest of this week- "

"Sam!" Steve starts to twist around towards the door but Sam's already out in the hallway.

"You've got that, plus the weekend to handle it. And I'll know if you lie about going!"

Steve turns back around, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he clenches his teeth. A moment later, there's a 'buzz' against his leg. He maneuvers past a glob of mayonnaise to pull his phone out of his pocket. As promised, there's one new text.

[11:59 AM] Sam Wilson (VA job):

"Safe Haven Respite Services, LLC"

1472 Halifax St., Ste. C.

--ask for "Bucky" (and don't be an ass!)

Steve purses his lips, knowing that he's going to have to do it if he wants to keep his job. Feeling both tired and grumpy, he lets his hands fall into his lap and scowls down at the phone.

What the hell kind of simp-ass Dom even calls themself something stupid like "Bucky," anyway?

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