#There's no time to elaborate right now but maybe another day! Also! Still very much sporadic and inactive (EXCEPT OF COURSE... you know--

[red-moon-at-night]

Are you going to apply to the milgram zine?

*rises from my grave*

IM SORRY... I really went back and forth over the past month about this, and unfortunately I won't be applying :::::(

I really really wish I could - but I just do Not have The Time™️ nor energy nor mental or physical resources right now to commit to a zine project 😣

I feel that it would be unfair on the team and other artists applying if I were to join, when I know with my current workload and personal life shenanigans I simply cannot take on that kind of responsibility. Saying yes to something then failing to turn up and do my part is far worse than being honest and declining an opportunity I would really like to take on... so that's the low down.

Making the right and mature decision doesn't make me feel any less sad about it though TwT *cries for 500 years*

STILL THOUGH... I am excited to see the charity fanzine come to fruition and I wish everyone who's applied the best of luck!! 💜 You bet I can't wait to get my grubby hands on a copy when the time comes!!!! Screams

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hi Mouse! Could you pretty please write some general romantic headcanons for the bachelors. No in particular just stuff like how they romance the farmer and what they do as a couple. Thanks!

Sure thing, dear anon! Thanks for your ask, enjoy some headcanons!🫰💕

_________________________________________

Some romantic SDV bachelors x Farmer headcanons:

Elliott:

Letters. Many, many love letters, and not just any love letters. Every letter must be perfect, every word must convey the love that Elliott feels for Farmer. Even the paper must be of high quality and pleasant to the touch. There's a whole ritual involved, because it's for Farmer, after all.

Elliott loves to take Farmer for a walk on the sandy shore just as much as he loves to sit with them in the Saloon with a bottle of wine. Still prefers the walks more, though, as they are alone together and without any noise other than the sounds of the sea waves and seagulls singing.

One of their special pastimes together is leaving seashells in the sand. Yes, that's right, not collecting them, but spreading them out so the hermit crabs can find a home and not use plastic cups for that. Farmer and Elliott sign the shells and take a photo as another crab has found a shell. It's very sweet, really.

There probably isn't a day that goes by that Elliott doesn't tell Farmer that they are the love of his life. Of course, Farmer knows this and loves just as much, but Elliott just adores his partner. He likes to back up his words of adoration with lots of gifts too: some small but nice things that are sure to please Farmer.

Sam:

Given Sam's love for music and his excellent skill in playing the guitar, Farmer will hear many serenades dedicated to them. And it's not just guitar music, it's also a whole song that Sam will sing with his beautiful voice. Just like in the novel, honestly.

Tickle war! The perfect excuse for Sammy to fool around with Farmer and hear their beautiful, ringing laughter. Especially when his partner is sad or moody for whatever reason. A grumpy Farmer in his sight? The heck, Illegal for him! So Sam will take matters into his own hands and cheer up Farmer. He won't be mean about it (maybe~).

Generally, Sam is all for any kind of time with his partner, but probably his favourite is just lying on the grass on a summer afternoon with Farmer and looking at the clouds. Pointing a finger at the sky and convincing Farmer that that cloud looks exactly like a pizza, and feigning offence when Farmer laughs at him because he "sees pizza everywhere". Just a lazy day together, away from problems and things to do.

Physical attention is integral when it comes to expressing Sam's love for Farmer: holding hands, hugs (a lot) and kisses on the cheek and lips (even more). He's a fan of PDA and is ready to talk non-stop about how much he loves Farmer, wrapping them up in a tight embrace.

Harvey:

Maybe for some people sitting near a fireplace is not considered too special, but even here Harvey managed to create a truly magical and cosy atmosphere. Warm firelight, hot aromatic coffee, comfortable plaid and a lot of pleasant conversations about past moments and plans for the future. Especially when snow is falling outside the window/thunderstorm is raging.

The doctor has already got so good at cooking dinner that Gus has to take him on as an assistant. And some pretty elaborate dishes that are usually served in restaurants. So one of Harvey's love signs is to spoil his partner with a tasty and, importantly, healthy dinner almost every night. (Gus jokingly says that soon the Farmer's will stop visiting Saloon altogether because they have their own skilful chef.)

Likes to make surprises for Farmer. Surprise gift, surprise date - surprises everywhere! There is nothing more satisfying for Harvey than to see his lover's face go from surprise to delight and then tender love when they looked at Harvey again.

Well, where's a romantic time - and without dancing? Robin and Demetrius now have to move aside because there's another lovely couple on the dance floor. Nothing chaotic (especially after a few glasses of fancy vine), but as soon as light jazz plays in the Saloon, Harvey asks his partner for a slow dance. The doctor is still a little shy about dancing among strangers, but Farmer's soft gaze was enough to make all insecurity go away.

Sebastian:

Sebastian will show Farmer all his favourite places with fantastic views. And it's not limited to views of the big metropolis with its neon signs and billboards. Sebby will take Farmer for a ride to, for example, a small clearing near Stardew Valley, where they can both enjoy a beautiful view of the stars without all that light from the houses.

He and his partner also like to visit places they've never been to on his motorbike. Just without thinking, Sebastian and Farmer will go to some random cafe that is rumoured to serve delicious coffee, or to a rare comic book shop in Zuzu City. Leaving the jungle of the metropolis and returning to the more wooded area of Pelican Town.... Heh, and earlier Sebby wanted to escape the small town, but instead found the love of his life.

He enjoys listening to anything Farmer tells him, whether it's a spoiler for a new release of a science fiction film, a new character in their DnD game, or stories about the cows and rabbits on the farm. Honestly, he is willing to listen to Farmer 24 hours a day, and he never gets bored of it.

Romantic frog hunting! Well, "hunt" refers to Sebastian and Farmer walking near the ponds with a camera to look for frogs and toads to take photos. Later, they return home to photoshop the photos and get pictures of the cutest frogs. And memes. Seriously, the toad with eyes - lasers that destroys JojaMart was hilarious that the local emo and Farmer laughed for half a day.

Alex:

It's safe to say that one of Alex's love languages is to constantly ask the Farmer if they need help. Not that he's being so intrusive, no. It's just that the athlete believes that Farmer's problem is now his problem too, and wants to show that they can always count on him if they need anything because he loves them.

Alex loves his date with Farmer at the beach. And he doesn't care too much whether the couple is playing volleyball, swimming in the sea or lounging on a beach rug in the bright sunshine - beach dates are the best! It's even better when access to Ginger Island is open and they can go to the beach every season. Farmer is happy - and that's what matters. The main thing - stock up on plenty of sun cream, otherwise the date will end on a not very pleasant note.

At first Alex didn't do it on purpose, but seeing that his partner would sometimes steal his jumpers and jackets and put them on themself, he started leaving his clothes out in plain sight. It's hard to explain, but he likes to see his beloved Farmer in his clothes, even if it means he's unlikely to see his favourite jumper again.

Although the athlete usually shows simple, one can even say - standard, signs of attention, such as flowers, chocolates, walks in the forest, etc, but he tries to make every day special. Farmer sees their partner's efforts, his love and care, and therefore assures Alex that he is not banal, but a very romantic partner. Real gold (envy silently!).

Shane:

One day Shane saw a tandem bike on TV and thought: heck, why not? He'd like to try something new. It would be both a good ride to burn some calories and a nice time with Farmer. Even his favourite chicken Charlie could sit in a cosy bike basket. Farmer liked the idea too, so Pelican Town will often see these two lovebirds riding their bike (and hear Shane complain that his legs are killing him now).

Amusingly, what would normally be considered just a work, Shane sees as bonding with his partner. Especially taking care of the chickens and making winter preparations like jam and pickled peppers. The constant talking and bantering between these two..... It's so special and beautiful for Shane.

Shane is not at all shy of strangers when it comes to physically expressing his love for Farmer. Hugs and kisses - Shane loves Farmer's attention and showering them with the same attention and love. Lewis, shut up, you're generally afraid to show your relationship with you-know-who. Ha ha, Sam, very funny, expect chilli powder in your lunch. No one dares spoil his moment, got it?

The chicken man also doesn't mind having a game night with Farmer to take their mind off work for a bit. All the delicious (and not too healthy) snacks, drinks, a big screen TV and their favourite video game - in Shane's opinion, not a bad pastime either (which can turn into an even better thing~).

[muiitoloko]

I don't wanna be annoying but can we please have another sequel to the unscripted love? You can keep it in the back burner for now so you can do other people's requests first tho! I like the idea of the reader and Alan reading fanfiction lol and maybe maybeeeeee while reader reads, Alan suddenly gets the idea of recreating it 😩. Like he'll stop whenever reader stops reading too haha. Just a thought but you totally don't have to do it! I just love your stories so much! Any update from you I try to read immediately ♡♡♡

Title: Cloaked in Love

Summary: Alan’s playful impersonation of Severus Snape leads to laughter and a deepened connection during a well-deserved break from your hectic lives.

Pairing: Alan Rickman × Fem! Reader

Warnings: none.

Author's Notes: You’re not annoying at all—trust me, I love hearing your ideas! 😄 The thought of Alan getting inspired by some fanfiction and deciding to recreate it? *chef’s kiss* I’m definitely intrigued! I’m so glad you’re enjoying the stories! Thanks for the love and support—now I just need to make sure Alan doesn’t get too carried away with those fanfics! 😉

First, Second and Third part here.

Also read on Ao3

Weeks passed before you and Alan could finally meet in person, the whirlwind of your respective projects keeping you both on the move. You traveled from country to country, promoting your film, attending premieres, and juggling endless interviews. Alan, in the meantime, was busy filming A Little Chaos, and while you kept in touch through calls and messages, it wasn’t the same as being with him. The distance began to wear on you, the days stretching longer as you counted down to the moment you could finally be together again.

So, when your schedule finally allowed for a day off, instead of resting in London as you’d planned, you decided to surprise Alan on set. The thought of seeing him, of being close to him again, filled you with a bubbling excitement that made the exhaustion of travel seem insignificant. You missed him more than you’d realized, and the idea of waiting another day just to see him was unbearable.

Upon arriving at the set, you were greeted with a mix of excitement and surprise. Fans who had gathered around the area recognized you immediately, and you spent a few minutes signing autographs and posing for pictures, all the while trying to keep your nerves in check. The thrill of seeing Alan again was tempered by the knowledge that your relationship was still a secret, something you both had agreed to keep under wraps until the time was right.

Finally, one of Alan’s assistants appeared and offered to take you to where he was. You followed eagerly, your heart pounding with anticipation as you walked through the bustling set. The grandeur of the production was evident in every detail—the elaborate costumes, the intricate sets, the palpable energy that came with creating a period piece. It was all very impressive, but your focus was solely on Alan.

As you approached the area where he was taking his lunch break, you spotted him immediately. He was sitting at one of the tables, fully dressed as King Louis XIV, albeit without the wig, his regal attire a striking contrast to the casual conversations he was having with the crew around him. His hazel eyes were alight with that familiar warmth, and his deep, baritone voice carried across the set, drawing you in like a magnet.

For a moment, you stood there, simply watching him. The way he carried himself, even in costume, was unmistakably Alan—graceful, commanding, yet somehow effortlessly charming. He was in his element, and the sight of him made your heart swell with affection. You had missed him more than you’d realized, and now that you were so close, the longing you’d kept at bay for weeks surged to the surface.

Finally, you began to approach, your footsteps light and quick as you made your way to the table. Alan noticed you almost immediately, his eyes widening in pleasant surprise as he recognized you. He had clearly not expected you to be there, and the delighted smile that spread across his face made all the effort of getting there worth it.

“Well, well, what a surprise,” Alan said, his voice warm and rich with genuine pleasure. He stood up from the table, his tall, thick figure cutting an impressive figure even without the royal wig. “I thought you weren’t returning to London until tomorrow.”

You grinned, unable to contain your excitement as you closed the distance between you. “I couldn’t wait,” you admitted, your voice filled with affection as you looked up at him. “I missed you, Alan. I just had to see you.”

Alan’s smile softened, his hazel eyes searching yours with a mixture of fondness and something deeper, something more tender. He reached out, his hand brushing lightly against your arm as if to reassure himself that you were really there. “And here I was, thinking I’d have to wait another day to see you,” he murmured, his voice low and intimate. “This is a very welcome surprise.”

You could feel the heat of his hand through the fabric of your sleeve, the simple touch sending a shiver of warmth through you. There was something electric in the air between you, a connection that neither time nor distance could diminish. The urge to close the gap between you, to wrap your arms around him and pull him into a kiss, was almost overwhelming, but you resisted, knowing that the crew was watching.

Instead, you let your hand rest on his, your fingers brushing against his as you shared a private moment in the midst of the bustling set. “I couldn’t stay away any longer,” you confessed softly, your eyes locked on his. “I’ve been thinking about you constantly, Alan. Every interview, every premiere… all I wanted was to be with you.”

Alan’s expression softened even further, his eyes shining with something that made your heart skip a beat. “And I’ve been thinking about you,” he replied, his voice just as soft. “You’ve been the best part of my day, even when we’re miles apart.”

The sincerity in his words, the quiet intensity in his gaze, made it clear that he felt the same way you did—that the weeks apart had been just as hard on him as they had been on you. It was a comfort, a reassurance that your feelings were mutual, that the bond you shared was strong enough to withstand the challenges of your careers.

For a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you standing there, connected by something deeper than words. It was as if the distance between you had never existed, as if the weeks apart had only made your connection stronger. And in that moment, you knew that whatever the future held, as long as you had each other, you could face it together.

Alan seemed to sense the same thing, his hand tightening slightly on yours as if to anchor you both in the moment. “Come,” he said softly, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver down your spine. “Let’s find somewhere a bit more private. I’d like to catch up properly.”

You nodded, your heart racing with anticipation as he led you away from the busy set, away from prying eyes and the chaos of the production. As you walked side by side, your fingers still intertwined, you couldn’t help but steal a glance at him, at the man who had become so much more than just a friend, so much more than just a lover. He was your partner, your confidant, the person you trusted above all others.

And as you found a quiet corner of the set, away from the noise and the cameras, you knew that this was where you belonged—by his side, in the moments both big and small, in the spaces where you could simply be together, without the world watching.

Alan turned to you, his expression soft and filled with a warmth that made your heart swell. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ve missed you more than I can say.”

You smiled, reaching up to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing lightly over the stubble that lined his jaw. “I’ve missed you too, Alan,” you whispered, your voice filled with all the love you felt for him. “More than you know.”

You let out a small, frustrated sigh and muttered under your breath, "Damn, I wish I could kiss you right now."

Alan’s eyes sparkled with amusement as he caught your words, and a mischievous smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He leaned in slightly, his voice a low, teasing murmur. “And why don’t you, then?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow in that way only he could—both challenging and playful at the same time.

Your heart skipped a beat at the suggestion, the temptation to close the gap between you almost overwhelming. But you quickly glanced around the set, taking in the bustling crew and the open space. With a small, regretful shake of your head, you started to look for a place to sit down. “We can’t do that here, Alan,” you whispered back, your tone filled with both longing and practicality. “Not in such a public place.”

Alan didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned back against the wall behind him, crossing his arms over his chest in that relaxed, confident way he had, as if he was entirely at ease with the world. His hazel eyes remained fixed on you, a knowing smile playing on his lips as he watched you find a spot to sit.

You sighed tiredly as you finally settled into a chair, the weight of your travels and the emotional rollercoaster of the past few weeks catching up with you. “Why didn’t you tell me you were arriving early?” Alan asked, his voice filled with a mix of curiosity and affection as he gently changed the subject.

You shrugged slightly, leaning back in your chair as you looked up at him. “Honestly? I wasn’t even sure I’d make it here today,” you admitted, your tone light despite the exhaustion in your eyes. “I took the first flight I could find from New York to London, thinking I’d just go straight to bed and sleep the whole day before meeting you tomorrow. But as soon as I lay down, I just couldn’t shake the urge to see you… even if only for a moment.”

Alan’s expression softened at your words, his eyes filled with a warmth that made your heart flutter. He pushed off the wall and walked over to you, his tall frame casting a shadow over you as he leaned down slightly, his face close to yours. “So you came all the way here just to take a peek at me?” he murmured, his voice rich with affection and a hint of that mischievous charm you loved so much.

You smiled up at him, feeling the tension in your body slowly melt away in his presence. “Yes,” you whispered back, your voice filled with sincerity. “I couldn’t stay away, Alan. I just… I needed to see you, even if it was just for a few minutes.”

Alan’s smile widened, and he reached out to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face, his touch soft and comforting. “You have no idea how much that means to me,” he said quietly, his voice low and intimate. “And now that you’re here, I’m not letting you go so easily.”

You chuckled softly, the sound light and relieved as you gazed up at him. “I wouldn’t want it any other way,” you replied, your eyes locked on his. “But I’m afraid I’m not much fun right now… I’m completely exhausted.”

Alan's expression softened into one of sympathy, his eyes filled with understanding as he gazed down at you. “You look like you could use a good rest,” he began, his voice gentle. But before he could say anything more, a voice interrupted the private moment.

“Well, well, what do we have here? Two lovebirds trying to sneak a moment alone?”

You both turned to see Helen McCrory approaching, a playful grin on her face. She looked stunning, as always, her presence commanding attention even in the simple, understated costume she wore for her role in A Little Chaos. Alan straightened up immediately, his posture shifting from relaxed to slightly more formal as he greeted her.

“Helen,” Alan said warmly, his baritone voice carrying a note of affection. “Always a pleasure to see you.”

Helen's grin widened as she came to stand beside you, her gaze flicking between the two of you with a knowing glint. “I should have known I’d find you two together,” she teased, her tone light. “Trying to keep your little romance a secret on set, are we?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her words, the sound light and carefree as you looked up at her. “You caught us,” you admitted with a playful shrug. “But in our defense, we haven’t seen each other in weeks, so we’re allowed a bit of sneaky time.”

Helen’s eyes sparkled with amusement as she reached out to gently squeeze your shoulder. “Of course you are,” she agreed, her tone warm. “But don’t think you can hide from me—I always know when something’s up.”

You grinned, leaning back in your chair as you let out a mock sigh. “Well, I suppose we should be careful then. Can’t let Narcissa Malfoy catch us in the act. Or worse, let her participate in this little get-together.”

Helen raised an eyebrow, her smile turning into a smirk as she caught onto the joke. “Ah, yes, because that would be quite the scandal, wouldn’t it? Severus Snape and Narcissa Malfoy having a little rendezvous on set.”

Alan chuckled softly, his gaze flicking between you and Helen as he played along. “Indeed. I’m sure Lucius would have something to say about that,” he remarked, his tone dry but laced with humor. “But I doubt even he could stop Narcissa if she had her mind set on something.”

Helen laughed, the sound rich and melodious. “Oh, you’re absolutely right, Alan. Narcissa always gets what she wants.” She then turned her attention back to you, her expression softening as she added, “Though I must say, it’s lovely to see you here. We’ve all missed having you around.”

You smiled, touched by her words. “I’ve missed you all too,” you admitted. “And I couldn’t resist the chance to see Alan again. But honestly, I’m not sure how you two manage to keep going with such hectic schedules. I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

Helen’s eyes twinkled with a mix of sympathy and teasing as she leaned in slightly, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Well, if you had accepted that role in Harry Potter, you’d be used to this kind of chaos by now. We could have been three wizards on set instead of just two.

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head in mock disbelief. “Don’t remind me, Helen. I still think about what might have been. But then again, who could ever live up to Narcissa Malfoy? You were perfect for that role.”

Helen grinned, clearly enjoying the banter. “Flattery will get you everywhere, darling. But you would have made a brilliant addition to the cast, and you know it.”

Alan, who had been quietly enjoying the exchange, chimed in with a wry smile. “I must say, I would have enjoyed seeing you wield a wand on screen. Perhaps we could have had a duel—Severus Snape versus… whoever you might have played.”

You laughed, the thought of being in a magical duel with Alan Rickman and Helen McCrory bringing a sparkle to your eyes. “Oh, I would have given you both a run for your money,” you teased, pretending to twirl an imaginary wand in your hand. “But I suppose we’ll never know.”

Helen playfully pouted, crossing her arms over her chest as she gave you an exaggerated look of disappointment. “Such a missed opportunity,” she said, her tone dripping with mock seriousness. “We could have been the most formidable trio in the wizarding world.”

You couldn’t help but grin, loving the playful camaraderie between the three of you. “Well, maybe we can still make it happen someday. I’m sure there’s room for a new character in the Harry Potter universe.”

Alan chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he considered the idea. “Now that would be something to see. But in the meantime, I suppose we’ll have to settle for being mere mortals.”

Helen rolled her eyes playfully at his words, her grin widening as she reached out to give him a light nudge. “Oh, don’t be so modest, Alan. You may be playing a king right now, but we all know you’re still the dark and brooding wizard at heart.”

Alan shared a warm smile with Helen, the camaraderie between them evident in the easy way they exchanged glances. The conversation had lightened the mood, and for a brief moment, the weight of his earlier insecurities seemed to lift. But as the laughter faded, he caught sight of you glancing at your wristwatch, a small frown creasing your brow as you noted the time.

"I should probably get going," you said, your voice tinged with reluctance. "I still need that well-deserved rest before we meet up tomorrow, Alan."

The regret in your tone was clear, and Alan felt a pang of disappointment that the moment had to end so soon. But he nodded in understanding, knowing that you needed to recharge after your whirlwind travels.

Helen looked between the two of you, her sharp eyes catching the subtle exchange of emotions that passed between you. She watched as you stepped forward to share a hug with her, your embrace warm and affectionate, a testament to the friendship you had built over the years. "Take care, love," Helen said softly, giving you a gentle squeeze before pulling back. "We’ll see you soon."

You smiled, your eyes flicking over to Alan, who stood nearby, his tall frame still as he watched the interaction. With a playful smile, you reached out to pat his arm in a friendly way, your touch lingering just a moment longer than necessary. "Get some rest yourself, Alan," you teased lightly. "I’ll see you tomorrow."

Alan returned your smile, though his eyes held a warmth that went beyond simple friendship. "I’ll try," he replied, his voice carrying that familiar baritone rumble that always sent a shiver down your spine. "But only if you promise to do the same."

You chuckled softly, nodding as you turned to leave, your footsteps echoing slightly in the quiet of the set. Alan’s gaze followed you as you walked away, his eyes lingering on your retreating figure with a mix of affection and something deeper—something that Helen didn’t miss.

As soon as you were out of sight, Helen turned her attention back to Alan, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "You’re not fooling anyone, you know," she remarked casually, her tone light but laced with meaning.

Alan, ever the actor, raised an eyebrow in mock confusion, his expression carefully neutral. "Whatever do you mean, Helen?" he asked, his voice smooth and composed as he feigned ignorance. "I’m simply seeing off a friend."

Helen’s smile widened, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, come now, Alan. You and I both know there’s more to it than that. You’ve been practically attached at the hip with her since the day you met. Don’t tell me you’re still going to pretend there’s nothing going on between you two."

Alan let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head slightly as if to dismiss the notion. "We’re good friends, Helen," he insisted, his tone light and casual. "Colleagues, even. Nothing more."

Helen didn’t buy it for a second. She had been around long enough to recognize the signs of a budding romance, and the way you and Alan interacted was a dead giveaway. The subtle touches, the lingering glances, the way he looked at you when he thought no one was watching—it all pointed to something more than just friendship.

"Is that so?" she asked, her voice filled with playful skepticism. "Because from where I’m standing, it looks an awful lot like the two of you are hiding something. And I’m not just talking about a close friendship."

Alan met her gaze, his hazel eyes steady and composed, but there was a flicker of something in them—something that betrayed the truth he was trying so hard to keep hidden. "Believe what you like, Helen," he said with a small, enigmatic smile. "But I assure you, there’s nothing to hide."

Helen tilted her head slightly, studying him with a mix of curiosity and amusement. "You’re a terrible liar, Alan," she teased gently, though there was no malice in her words. "But I suppose I’ll let you keep your secrets—for now."

Alan chuckled again, his laughter rich and deep, though there was a hint of tension beneath it. "I appreciate that," he replied smoothly, his tone still light. "It’s good to know you’re on my side."

Helen’s smile softened, and she reached out to give him a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Always, darling," she said warmly. "Just remember, you don’t have to hide everything. Some secrets are meant to be shared."

Alan nodded, though he made no further comment, his thoughts already drifting back to you and the connection you shared. Helen might have been convinced that there was more to your relationship than met the eye, but for now, he was content to let the world believe whatever they liked.

As Helen turned to leave, Alan watched her go, a small smile playing on his lips. He knew that she wasn’t fooled by his denial, but he also knew that she would keep his secret for as long as he needed her to. After all, some things were worth protecting, even if it meant keeping them hidden for a little while longer.

And as he stood there in the quiet of the set, Alan allowed himself a moment to savor the thought of you—the woman who had become so much more than just a friend, so much more than just a colleague. The woman who had captured his heart in ways he hadn’t thought possible.

For now, he was content to keep that truth close, to cherish the private moments you shared, knowing that one day, when the time was right, the world would know just how much you meant to him.

But until then, he would continue to play the part of the enigmatic, charming actor, keeping his secrets close and his feelings even closer, all the while knowing that you were the one person who truly understood the man behind the mask.

The next day, you and Alan finally managed to carve out some time together, albeit later in the afternoon than you’d originally planned. Both of you had agreed that after the whirlwind of your respective schedules, a lazy day at your house was exactly what you needed. No interviews, no scripts—just the two of you, unwinding in the comfort of your shared space.

The moment Alan arrived at your door, you couldn’t help but greet him with a warm, lingering kiss, your hands gently cupping his face as you reveled in the familiarity of his touch. He responded in kind, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you close, the tension of the past few weeks melting away as you both simply enjoyed the moment.

“It’s good to finally have you all to myself,” Alan murmured against your lips, his deep baritone voice sending a shiver down your spine. He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, his hazel gaze filled with a mix of affection and something deeper. “I’ve missed this. Missed you.”

You smiled up at him, your heart swelling with love for the man who had become such an integral part of your life. “I’ve missed you too,” you whispered back, your voice soft and sincere. “And now that we finally have some time together, I intend to make the most of it.”

Alan’s lips quirked into a playful smile, and he leaned in to steal another quick kiss before pulling you into a warm embrace. “I like the sound of that,” he replied, his tone light and teasing. “So, what’s on the agenda for today, love? A bit of reading, perhaps? Or maybe we could finally indulge in those fanfics you mentioned.”

You chuckled softly, your fingers idly tracing the curve of his spine as you rested your head against his chest. “You’ve been thinking about those, haven’t you?” you teased, your voice filled with amusement. “I never pegged you as the fanfiction type, Alan.”

He let out a low, rumbling laugh, the sound vibrating through his chest and making you smile. “Well, you did pique my curiosity,” he admitted, his tone both playful and genuine. “And I must say, the idea of seeing how I—well, Snape—am portrayed in these stories is rather intriguing. Plus, I’m curious to see how… detailed they get.”

You raised an eyebrow at his words, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Detailed, huh? You sure you’re ready for that? Some of those fanfics don’t hold back, you know. They might give you ideas.”

Alan’s smile widened, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a low, seductive murmur. “Oh, I’m counting on it, my dear,” he replied, his tone sending a thrill of anticipation through you. “After all, what’s the point of reading them if we don’t have a bit of fun recreating the scenes?”

You laughed, the sound filled with both amusement and excitement at the prospect. “Well then,” you said, stepping back slightly and taking his hand in yours. “Let’s get comfortable first, and then we can see just how well you can bring those fanfics to life.”

Alan’s grip on your hand tightened slightly, a playful glint in his eyes as he followed you to the living room. Once there, you both settled onto the couch, the atmosphere relaxed and intimate as you curled up against him, your head resting on his shoulder.

You reached for your phone, pulling up the fanfiction website and scrolling through the list of stories until you found one that seemed particularly promising. “Alright,” you began, your voice light as you looked up at him with a teasing smile. “Shall we start with a classic Snape romance, or would you prefer something a bit… steamier?”

Alan raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a slow, deliberate smile. “Why not start with the romance?” he suggested, his tone filled with a subtle, teasing challenge. “I’m curious to see how they capture the… softer side of Severus Snape.”

You chuckled, nodding in agreement as you clicked on a story that had high ratings and plenty of comments praising the author’s portrayal of Snape. As you began to read, the room filled with your voice, each word weaving a tale of unrequited love, intense emotions, and the eventual confession between Snape and the story’s protagonist—a young witch who had somehow managed to break through his formidable exterior.

As you read aloud from the fanfic, you both became more and more engrossed in the story, the detailed descriptions of Snape's inner turmoil and the humorous moments woven into the narrative drawing you in. The author had managed to capture Snape’s dry wit perfectly, and you found yourself laughing at some of the quips that sounded like something Alan himself might say.

Then, you reached a particularly funny scene. In it, Snape, ever the sarcastic and somewhat grumpy Potions Master, was trying to teach a rather inept student the finer points of potion-making. The student, who was clearly out of their depth, had somehow managed to turn their cauldron into a bubbling mess of what the fanfic described as "a rainbow-colored disaster."

Snape, unimpressed and thoroughly exasperated, was written to have dramatically thrown his black robes over his shoulder like a cape, stalking around the student and lecturing them in a tone that was described as both condescending and theatrical. The author had even added a line about how Snape’s hooked nose twitched with irritation as he delivered one of his signature biting remarks: "If incompetence were a potion, you would have brewed a perfect batch."

You couldn’t help but laugh as you read the scene aloud, the image of a melodramatic Snape stalking around the hapless student almost too much to handle. "Oh, Alan," you said, still giggling, "I can just imagine you doing something like this! It’s so over-the-top and theatrical."

Alan chuckled along with you, but as the laughter subsided, you noticed a glint of mischief in his hazel eyes. Without saying a word, he suddenly stood up from the couch, a sly smile playing on his lips. You watched, intrigued and amused, as he reached for the soft sheet you had grabbed earlier to cover his legs, draping it over his shoulders like a makeshift cape.

You raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at your lips as you watched his impromptu costume change. "And what exactly are you doing, Mr. Rickman?" you asked, your voice filled with playful curiosity.

Alan gave you a mock-serious look, his lips curving into a smirk as he held the sheet dramatically with one hand, letting it flow behind him like Snape’s billowing robes. "I am now Severus Snape," he declared in a perfect imitation of the character’s deep, measured voice. "And you, my dear, are the incompetent student who has dared to ruin a perfectly good potion."

You burst out laughing, the sight of Alan in his makeshift Snape costume, coupled with his spot-on impression, making it impossible to keep a straight face. "Oh, really?" you said, playing along with a grin. "And what exactly do you intend to do about it, Professor Snape?"

Alan’s eyes sparkled with amusement as he took a step back, lifting the sheet-cape with a flourish and adopting a more stern, imposing posture. "I shall do what any good Potions Master would do," he intoned, his voice dripping with mock seriousness. "I shall recreate the scene, and you, my dear, shall read the lines while I bring this catastrophe to life."

You couldn’t help but grin at the absurdity of the situation, the playful banter between the two of you filling the room with lighthearted energy. "Alright, Professor Snape," you replied, your tone teasing as you picked up the phone again, scrolling back to the start of the scene. "But I warn you, this student is particularly inept. You’ll have your work cut out for you."

Alan gave you a mock look of exasperation, his eyes narrowing as he slipped fully into character. "Do you take me for a fool?" he retorted in that smooth, commanding baritone. "No student is beyond the reach of my… expertise."

With that, you began to read the scene aloud, doing your best to maintain a serious tone even as the ridiculousness of the situation threatened to make you burst out laughing again. Alan, for his part, played the role of Snape with a level of dedication that was both impressive and hilarious. He stalked around the room, his makeshift cape flowing behind him as he delivered the lines with a mixture of stern authority and theatrical flair.

When you reached the line about the rainbow-colored potion disaster, Alan paused mid-stride, turning on his heel to face you with a dramatic flourish of the sheet-cape. "A rainbow-colored disaster!" he repeated, his voice filled with incredulous disdain. "If incompetence were a potion, you, Miss [Your Last Name], would have brewed a perfect batch!"

You couldn’t hold back your laughter any longer, the sight of Alan fully embracing the role of Snape—complete with exaggerated gestures and that iconic, sardonic tone—was just too much. "Oh, come on, Professor!" you protested, trying to keep a straight face. "It’s not that bad!"

Alan, staying in character, arched an eyebrow in that perfect Snape-like way, his eyes narrowing as he took a step closer, looming over you with the full force of his theatrical presence. "Not that bad?" he echoed, his voice low and menacing in the most exaggerated way possible. "Miss [Your Last Name], I have seen first-years brew better potions in their sleep! This—" he gestured dramatically at the imaginary cauldron, "—is an abomination, an affront to the very art of potion-making!"

You were practically in tears from laughing, the combination of Alan’s over-the-top performance and the sheer silliness of the scene making it impossible to maintain any semblance of composure. "Alright, alright, you win!" you gasped, holding up your hands in surrender. "I admit it! I’m a terrible student!"

Alan’s stern expression softened into a triumphant grin, the playful glint in his eyes returning as he dropped the sheet-cape and stepped back, his arms crossing over his chest in that familiar, confident stance. "Indeed you are," he said, his voice slipping back into its natural cadence. "But perhaps with the right… guidance, you might improve."

You grinned, wiping away the tears of laughter from your eyes as you looked up at him. "Guidance, huh? And what kind of guidance would you suggest, Professor?"

Alan leaned down slightly, his face close to yours as he dropped his voice to a low, teasing whisper. "Oh, I can think of a few ways to improve your… performance," he murmured, the playful tone in his voice making your heart race. "But I’ll let you decide when you’re ready for the next lesson."

You couldn’t help but laugh again, the playful banter between you both filling the room with warmth and affection. "I’ll keep that in mind, Professor," you replied with a wink, your voice filled with both amusement and genuine affection. "But for now, I think I’d like to stick to the fun kind of lessons—like this."

Alan smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he looked down at you with a mix of affection and something deeper. "As you wish, Miss [Your Last Name]," he said, his voice warm and sincere. "But remember, the offer stands. Anytime you need a little… guidance, I’ll be here."

And with that, the two of you settled back onto the couch, the lighthearted moment bringing you even closer together. The rest of the afternoon was spent in a comfortable, playful companionship, the laughter and joy of the day a reminder of just how much you cherished these moments with Alan—the man who had become so much more than just a friend, so much more than just a lover.

He was your partner, your confidant, your source of endless amusement and affection. And as the day drew to a close, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly grateful for the bond you shared—a bond that, despite the challenges and the distance, only seemed to grow stronger with each passing day.

[kurogane2512]

Hi, Hello, How are you, I hope you are doing great.

Can I request a oneshot for Lisa? Set during Dodoco's Bombtastic Adventure..

I wanted more interaction time with Lisa but.. you know hoyo.. So I've been wanting to ask this for quite some time..

It can be anything your wish fluff/smu

If it's f, u can add some interactions with klee..

But if it's s, it can just be y/n & Lisa.. uk

Anyways.. If you can't that's alright, I already enjoy your other works and I'm sure the other requests which you plan on doing will also be great.

Thank you :)

I relate so much anon, you already know how disappointed I feel almost every time with events regarding my faves cause they are almost never done justice. Lisa's Sumeru outfit event was also really lackluster and just felt like something they wanted to get out of the way, she has so much character potential but it feels they abandoned all initial plots established with her and just keep her for fanservice.

This Klee event was unexpected and I actually somehow had hopes that maybe this would be better but I thought too soon.... sigh, anyways I very much wanted to write this too and you know I love combining smut and fluff most so here it is~

18+ CONTENT

Game: Genshin Impact

Characters: Lisa x fem! reader (Traveler)

Type: Smut and Fluff (oral sex, slightly dom reader, Lisa on receiving end)

Weary from your travels, you decided to make a stop at Mondstadt and relax a little by meeting your old friends and spending time with them. Mondstadt always felt like home to you as it was the first nation you came to, and the people treated you like their own family that you could never forget them. You went to the KoF HQ and decided to spend some time in the library by reading a book and chatting with the librarian.

"Okay, I'll look for big sister Y/n now!" a familiar child's voice filled your ears as soon as you entered the library.

"Oh! Big sister Y/n!! You already came! Klee was just thinking about you!" Klee ran up to you and playfully hugged you, you smiled at her and patted her head then Lisa also came up to you and smiled.

"What happened? Do you need some help?" you asked both of them and Lisa simply chuckled before telling you about an ongoing problem with Mondstadt's Cider Lake due to which Klee had to be confined in the city for some time and Lisa was made to take care of her.

"So.... do you have something in mind, Lisa?"

"My, of course. I already prepared it as well. Come along~"

You and Klee followed Lisa outside the HQ and found yourself in front of a board game that Lisa had developed for Klee.

"Please enjoy yourselves! It's not every day that you get to play games with Klee, surrounded by the scent of flowers on the breeze, with delicious food delivered right to you~"

"You won't play, Lisa?"

"Hehe, won't it be a little unfair if the game's creator joined in? Besides, I still have my librarian duties to take care of~"

"I see.... I would have liked for you to join in." you looked down with a disappointed expression, a soft chuckle leaving Lisa's mouth at your reaction.

"You should have thought of that when we met in Sumeru, cutie~"

Your eyes widened in shock realizing her implication but Lisa didn't bother elaborating and bid farewell to you two. You weren't sure if she really meant what you were thinking. You spent a few hours playing with Klee then decided to check up on Lisa since Klee was well used to the game and could play by herself. You told her you'll be back soon then went to the library again, only to find Lisa wasn't at her table.

"I'm downstairs. If you require assistance then please wait a moment." Lisa's voice beamed from the ground floor and you quickly walked downstairs and found her in front of a shelf, arranging some books.

"Ah, how may I hel— Oh, it's you, cutie." Lisa turned around and was a little surprised to see you. She gave a small smile then picked up the other books and leisurely walked to another shelf to arrange it.

"How's it going with Klee? Did you face some issues with the game?"

"No, everything is fine. It's really fun to play, she's enjoying a lot."

"Aww, that's good to hear. It's thanks to Klee that we were able to detect the problem in Cider Lake so early, she deserves this reward~"

"Y-Yeah...." you trailed off and wondered what to speak, Lisa wasn't acting her usual self around you. By now, she would have already asked you about your wellbeing and stories from your journey but she was strangely avoiding you.

"Did you have something to discuss, cutie? I don't think it's a good idea to leave Klee all alone out there."

"I....I just wanted to talk with you, Lisa. How have you been?"

"My, I'm the same old me. Not much time has passed since we met in Sumeru, remember? Or perhaps you were too occupied back then to remember I was there, hehe~"

You were surprised once again but now your suspicions were confirmed. She was upset about how you didn't accompany her when she came to Sumeru for a vacation, despite inviting you so dearly.

"Lisa, I....I'm sorry about back then. I was just—"

"Too busy being the hero of another nation? I know, you don't have to worry about it, cutie. I'm happy to see you doing such marvelous deeds everywhere you go, you don't have time for a mere librarian like me~"

She wasn't looking at you at all as she spoke and continued arranging the books. Her tone was dull and not cheery like always. She was trying so hard to show she didn't care but you knew she was upset. You regretted not accepting her invitation so much, you desperately tried to make time but some work always came and you didn't realize when a week already passed and she was ready to leave.

You hated making Lisa upset, she was the one person you never wanted to do this to. You walked up to her and suddenly hugged her from behind, catching her by surprise as a book fell from her hand from the force of the hug. You buried your face in her shoulder and tightly wrapped your arms around her waist, she squinted her eyes and stayed still.

"....You are wrong, I don't think that way at all. I really tried to make time, I really wanted to be with you but it was so hard. I know you don't want to listen to any excuses but.... please know I wasn't ignoring you or finding you worthless. You mean a lot to me, Lisa- so much more than you can imagine. Please, don't hate me."

Lisa silently listened to you then let out a sigh and turned around to face you, gently cupping your face and gazing at you with a small smile.

"....I can never hate you, cutie. You are too precious for me to hate you for something like that. I was just.... slightly upset that we didn't get to spend time together despite being in the same place. I wasn't expecting to run into you at Sumeru, but I was so happy that I did that perhaps I got carried away with my expectations."

You smiled back then leaned in and snuggled into her neck to embrace her, she wrapped her arms around you and lovingly stroked your head.

"Oh, that reminds me. What did you come here for initially? I'm so sorry that I made you accompany Klee as soon as you came, cutie."

"Oh, it's okay. I only came to meet everyone, especially you. I'll be going to Fontaine next so I just wanted to make a stop back here first."

Lisa smiled and kissed your forehead, "Hehe, that means you'll be here for some days, right?~"

You nodded, "Yes. I hope to learn more from you, Lisa-sensei~"

You chuckled together before leaning back then grabbing her wrist, "Come play with us now, Lisa."

"I told you I have to—"

"Ugh, nothing will happen if you close the library for a day! Come now, I want to be with you!"

You practically dragged her out and Lisa only chuckled as she let herself be pulled by you. She locked the library and both of you went back to find Klee seated on the bench eating some snacks that had been delivered earlier, she beamed a smile looking at you two and jumped in excitement as you three played together. Some days later, one of the knights came to inform Lisa that the crisis at Cider Lake had been resolved and that Klee could resume her playtime there.

"Well, Klee can continue her little adventures. I hope you two enjoyed this little game~" Lisa informed you about the crisis being resolved and was happy to hear how much Klee enjoyed the game.

"Oh, and I have also bought some gifts for you cuties!~" Lisa exclaimed and Klee became excited then held your arm.

"Me too! Klee also has a gift for big sister! Can Klee go first please!!?"

Lisa nodded happily then Klee took out a Dodoco toy from her backpack and handed it to you. You hugged Klee and thanked her for the lovely gift then next was Lisa's turn and she took out a cutely illustrated storybook about 'Dodoco's Bomb-Tastic Adventures'.

"The little cutie returned to Mondstadt and joined Klee on an adventure with Dodoco! Together they defeated the bad Spikey Fish Warriors and then enjoyed an afternoon tea.... A most fitting way to end Dodoco's Bomb-Tastic Adventure. I left a space for illustrations but I thought of a better idea- how about taking a picture together?"

Lisa suggested and Klee was already jumping in excitement and you had no reason to deny either. She set up the Kamera while you and Klee took your positions then waited for the photo to click.

"Lisa, you also come. You are the creator of this game and story, it's incomplete without you." you pleaded to Lisa who was a little shocked at your request, she tried to deny saying she didn't do much and that you and Klee were more important but you weren't liking it.

"Yes, big sister Y/n is right! Big sister Lisa, you should come too!" Klee also joined in your request and Lisa finally gave in.

"Fine fine, let me take one photo of you two then I'll join for the next one~"

You posed with Klee as the photo clicked then Lisa quickly walked up and stood beside you, she wrapped her arms around your neck and held you close before sneakily kissing your cheek right at the moment the second photo clicked. Everything happened so quickly that you barely registered her action, she moved away before you could react and proceeded to wrap up the game but you didn't miss the little wink she gave you as she went....

Later at night, you came to the library to help Lisa pack up and escort her home. But truthfully, you were hoping for something else to happen. You found Lisa standing in front of a shelf in the faraway corner and silently tiptoed behind her then embraced her, catching her off guard but she was aware of your presence as soon as you had come in.

"Aww, can't stay away from me, cutie?~"

"Mmm, I missed you~"

You mumbled against her skin before planting a kiss on her shoulder, shivers running down her spine at your action.

"Hehe, wait a little more, cutie. I'm almost done with these~"

"Hmm... no, I want you now~"

You kissed behind her ear which made her arch into you with a soft moan, "Mhm, how needy. Where was this side of you in Sumeru, hm?~"

"You have no idea how much I wanted you back then as well, especially since you wore that outfit. You looked so beautiful...."

Lisa chuckled as you planted more kisses on her neck and shoulder before suddenly turning her around and pinning her on the shelf. She gasped as you held up her leg and pressed your body against her then dived in to kiss and suck on her neck. She moaned and wrapped her arms around you as she arched up, giving you more access to her neck for you to mark.

"Mhm, c-cutie.... Hnng~ You want to do it here?~"

"Anywhere, I don't care. I just want you, Lisa~"

Lisa chuckled and laced her fingers in your hair and guided you to kiss her neck more, she moved her dress down with her other hand and freed her breasts which you wasted no time to cup. Soft sighs left Lisa's mouth as you kneaded her breasts before moving down to suck her hard nipples, simultaneously pinching the other one. She held you close as you sucked like a baby then suddenly carried her over to a nearby table and laid her on it while kneeling in front of her.

"I want to make up for what happened in Sumeru. Will you let me, Lisa?"

Lisa chuckled, "You just want to make up for that, cutie?~"

"No.... I want to do this because I love you. I want to please you and make you happy."

Lisa's heart skipped a beat at your unexpected confession but she couldn't be happier. She pulled you up by your collar and connected your lips in a passionate kiss, her tongue hungrily dancing with your own. You then kneeled once again and slipped off her panties then rested her legs on your shoulders and dived in to ear her out. She leaned back on the table as her body arched, low moans and whines resounded in the library as your tongue swiped her folds and lips sucked on her clit.

"Mhm, cutie...Aaahn~ Y-Yes, right there.....oh, you are doing so good!~"

Her fingers gripped your hair messily and she grinded into your mouth, her hips rutting forward as you plunged your tongue inside her and scissored her walls. Angelic whimpers left her mouth, your thumb playing with her clit as you sucked on her hot and wet folds and she came with a loud breathy moan. You sucked every drop of her juices and cleaned her before you stood up to face her, her cum still coating your lips.

She smirked and wiped her cum off your lips then stepped down and pushed you across to another table, pinning you down this time. She gazed at you with a lustful glaze in her eyes, a pool of arousal already dripping down your thighs as you anticipated the events of the remaining night.

[foreststranger]

DAN FENG - Tethering The Sky and Reaching For Heaven

ꜱᴛᴀʀʀɪɴɢ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

↳ 『honkai: star rail』dan feng/imbibitor lunae/yinyue jun (ugh can he stop having so many names??? it makes tagging a complete nightmare) x gn!reader

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

↳ parting ways with silly dragon guy before he reincarnates and dies idk idgaf abt his backstory 👍👍👍

𑁍 ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.0k

ɴᴏᴛᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

↳ surprise!!!! yet another short fanfic abt a long haired man! anyways happy early 1.3! i wish everyone a very e6 lynx and good luck on whoever you’re pulling for. ALSO HOW TF DO YOU DO CHINESE DIMINUTIVES/HONOURIFICS IN X READER FICS??? 阿Y/N???? OR MAYBE IN PINYIN??? a’y/n or ah’y/n??? OR WOULD IT BE LIKE 阿[the first character of your name] LMFAO

“What do you mean ‘you’re leaving?’ Where are you going?” You ask, taking a step closer to him, trying in vain to figure him out.

“We won’t see each other again. I’ve… done something horrible.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“…It’s not our main concern as of now. I’m sure my punishment will come for me soon. I don’t know how much time I have left with you.”

“Okay, what’s going on? I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’ll understand soon. I’d just like to spend one final moment with you.” Dan Feng grabs ahold of your hands, his grip almost painful as his fingers lock with yours.

“Are you… You don’t love me anymore?” A thousand thoughts rush through your head, yet none of them makes sense. “Do you want to see other people?”

“No, no, no. Of course not. That’s not what I meant. I meant that…” He pauses, concentrating. “We don’t have much time left.”

“But what does that-“

“Forget it. Would you just follow me, 心肝? Humour me. Please.” Your eyebrows furrow at the odd hypocorism. Before you can answer him, Dan Feng is leading you towards the dock. Bright yellow ginkgo leaves drift down from the sky, signalling a change in the year as they fall. There’s a scent in the early autumn air, and it reeks of… gloom; fraught with melancholy and a lingering anxiety that seems to cling to you. It whispers into your ear sweet serenades, singing a cacophony of incoming danger. The signal of change grows to a warning.

“Why are we heading towards the water?”

“Please, 亲爱的. Do not question me right now. Just… let us have a simple conversation. Would that be alright?” He sighs as the two of you exit the main area of the Alchemy Commission.

“I guess… You’re acting weird, you know that?” you sigh. “How was your day?”

“Great. And yours?” He answers a little too quickly.

“It’d be better if I knew what was happening.” Dan Feng turns his head to look back at you, a million words he wants to say are hidden behind his watery eyes.

Your shoe gets stuck in a crack in the stone walkway as you’re busy staring at him. You stop to pull it out but Dan Feng yanks on you, your shoe slipping off of your foot as he continues walking.

“Hey, wait! 枫仔! My shoe!” He doesn’t let go, his hand shaking in yours with a sense of urgency. “How am I supposed to walk without it?” You hop on a single foot, trying to keep up with his pace. In response, he picks you up into a bridal carry, cradling you like a parent would for their child.

“O-oh. Uh… okay. I guess I don’t mind…” You look up at his trembling jaw. Whatever’s going on, it must be very important to Dan Feng. If only he’d spit it out already so that you could offer your comfort. But the most you can offer right now is a small kiss. You bring your head up, pressing your lips against his cheek before resting your head back down on his forearm. The display of affection causes Dan Feng to stop in his tracks, but he quickly starts walking again.

“I...” He clears his throat, a light blush blossoming on his face. “That… means a lot to me right now. Thank you.”

“It’s the least I could offer you, 枫仔. You look so sad… Tell me what’s wrong.” He looks towards the horizon and the setting sun, a forlorn expression painting his face. The shadows of the evening light leave him looking especially somber. For a moment, he wants to tell you the whole truth. But he holds himself back to spare your feelings.

“I’m going somewhere. And… I won’t be returning. I am sorry, [name]. Truly. I do not wish to part ways but…” He looks down at you. A tear drips off of his face and onto yours. “There is nothing to be done about it. I… wouldn’t have done it if I realized the consequences sooner.”

“You’re… not joking. Would you tell me where you’re going? And when? Why are you being so vague?” You still couldn’t grasp the concept.

“亲爱的，you would hate me if I told you the whole truth. I could not leave knowing that you despised me. But… I’m sure you’ll find out soon when the news gets out.” Dan Feng looks back up towards the sky. You follow his gaze towards a few clouds that are coloured a hue of red from the sunset.

“I love you dearly. I apologize… I have forgone our future and forsaken you. Please remember me as someone you loved, and not a traitor to the Luofu.”

“Er… okay…? You’re really leaving?”

“Yes, I am afraid so…”

“…I love you too. Wherever you’re going, don’t forget that, okay? I… I really can’t believe it. I’m not gonna see you again. Ever…? Will you come visit me?”

“That is not possible, I fear. Though I wish more than anything that I could.”

The two of you reach the harbour. Dan Feng sets you down on the wooden planks and takes a seat beside you, dipping his legs into the water.

“Your pants are gonna be soaked, 笨蛋!”

“I am aware of that fact.” He pays you no mind, looking on into the horizon again. You gently hold is hand in yours.

“This… this is it? The last time I’ll see you? And we’re just… staring at nothing in complete silence?”

“You are speaking right now, [name].”

“What did you even do?” He glances at you. But as you make eye contact, he can’t seem to look away.

“…What are you doing?”

“You ask so many questions, 亲亲. I prefer it when you’re asleep. You’re much cuter in bed, too.” Dan Feng lightens up a little, a smile on his face as he teases you. “I’m just…” He shakes his head, as if to get himself out of a daze. “I’m just trying to remember your face. I need to make sure I don’t forget it…” His expression returns to how it was before, desolate and heartbroken.

“Make me a promise, 亲亲.”

“Go on.”

“We will meet in my next lifetime. And… we will live out a future that we could not have in this one.” He holds out his pinky finger and you take it.

“Sounds nice. I’ll hold you to it, Dan Feng.”

ask before translating, taking inspo from (not copy), reposting, etc. my work. remember to credit me and if you’re taking inspo from it, please @ me as I’d like to see what you do with my ideas!

[dreamescapeswriting]

A Fork In The Road ~ MYG

WORD COUNT: 2k

PAIRING: Yoongi x Fem!Reader

GENRE: established relationships, friends to lovers? Fluffy, a small argument, poly with the boys,

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - July 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

a/n: i hope this ending was okay for you, i was unsure on how to end it haha 

For a few weeks now you and Yoongi had been seeing one another on a regular occasion, the two of you would go out on dates and spend hours upon hours around one another. So much so, that when it came time for you to be alone you found it damn near impossible to relax without him by your side and it was a little scary. The two of you hadn’t even agreed that you were dating one another, it just sort of happened. 

The moment you met it was like sparks flew, the connection was just there and both of you could feel just how strong it was and you couldn’t help but want to be around one another more and more. You could feel yourself starting to fall more in love with the idea of getting to spend more time with Yoongi, you never wanted to be apart. Even on the days when he was busy he would still find time to call you - even for just five minutes - and the two of you would catch up on everything. It was perfection.

As far as you knew anyway but there was something Yoongi wasn’t telling you and he knew that he needed to eventually but he also wanted to hold off. Not telling you meant he could keep you in his own bubble a little while longer and pretend that the rest of the world didn’t exist. But he knew it was going to be time to tell you soon or it wasn’t going to be fair on either of you. To keep you strung along for almost a month was bad enough already and he sort of felt as though he was betraying you by not telling you.

“Yoongi, you can’t just, not tell her about us,” Hoseok said as he stared at Yoongi from across the dining room. The boys were all gathered for their evening meal together - something they’d started to share with one another so they could spend time together even when very busy. Yoongi had just gotten through with telling them all about you and then asking them how he was supposed to even approach the subject. 

“We’d love to meet Yn, maybe put her mind at ease,” Jimin said as he spooned some soup into his mouth, watching Yoongi who seemed to be having an inner battle about everything. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to meet the guys but he knew what Jimin was hinting at, the thing was...The boys were in a polyamorous relationship with one another which meant that he would introduce you to his boyfriends with the hopes that you would be okay with that which not many people were. Polyamorous relationships had been around for a long time but it still was a little bewildering to some people and the last thing Yoongi wanted to do was scare you away right when he had just found you.

“What if she doesn’t want what we have…” The question barely came out as anything more than a whisper but it had suddenly turned the whole atmosphere, everyone was silent and staring at Yoongi waiting for him to elaborate on what he had just said.

“Meaning what? Exactly?” Namjoon arched a brow at the older male and Yoongi bit down on his lip, it had been something that played on his mind a lot. If you told him you weren’t interested in polyamorous, would he be prepared to leave them all behind for you? Would that make him a bad person if he did? The thought played on his mind far too often that he would find himself awake at night, contemplating everything that came into play when he thought of you.

If he was to leave for you, that would mean throwing away a 7-year relationship with people he cared about and loved deeply, but if he didn’t leave them it meant losing you and that was something he knew he wasn’t prepared to do in the slightest. It was clear that he was at a fork in the road and he didn’t know which way to turn in order to survive the whole ordeal and come out happy. There was always the chance that if he went to you that things would end up badly and he would be left heartbroken whereas if he stayed with the boys, he knew he would be cared for…forever. But was that something he wanted? 

“You need to talk to her, communication is everything when it comes to things like this,” Jin told Yoongi as he rubbed his shoulder, it was obvious he was struggling with his decision and the boys needed to let Yoongi know that they would be here for him no matter what he decided to do.

“We’re always going to be here, no matter what happens” Jungkook smirked, he could already sense the older boy was struggling with what to do and he would do anything to put his mind at ease.

“Even if it means leaving?” Yoongi stuttered a little, a couple of tears rolling down his cheeks as he thought about it. His heart was pulling him toward you but his mind was telling him to stay where it was safe,

“Even if it comes to that,” Taehyung smiled warmly at him, all of them going back to eat while Yoongi decided to call and see if you were free for the evening. They were all right about one thing and that was he needed to tell you the truth, then he would have to make a decision from there.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” Yoongi questioned as you stared at him from across the table. The two of you were sitting inside a small cafe and it was empty besides you two and a few workers that were cleaning the tables up. Yoongi had just dropped a bombshell on you and you were still trying to process things as he was telling them to you.

“So the whole time we’ve been dating…You’ve been in a relationship?”

“Yes…With 6 other people.” Yoongi looked at you nervously and swallowed the lump that was beginning to build in his throat, he figured it would be best to tell you right away. Kind of like rippin a band aid off,

“And it never occured to you, that you should have told me about them before now?” You stared down at the cup in front of you before looking back at him and waiting for his response and he bit down on his lip a little.

“You’re mad-”

“I’m more than mad, you lead me on!” You yelled a little, flinching when you saw people turning to look at you. You’d never been the kind of person that liked to have attention all of the time and the last thing you wanted right now was to cause a scene.

“I didn’t…”

“What do you call taking me out on dates then when you knew you had other obligations back home?” He stayed silent as soon as you asked that. Of course, he’d lead you on but he’d never really thought about it until it was too late.

“I was hoping that you’d maybe think about joining us?”

“Yoongi…” You stared at him and shook your head. This wasn’t something he could just spring on you and expect you to be okay with, it was going to take a long time before you could even process it. 

“I can’t even look at you right now, do they even know about me? About us?” You questioned with a little more harshness than you’d intended but you were worried that these six other men that he was seeing were going to end up hurt, more hurt than you were feeling right now.

“They do…They knew about you from the start.” You nodded at him, slowly starting to look him in the eyes as you thought about it for a few more minutes. There were a million and one questions running around in your head and you couldn’t think of where to start with any of them.

“Do they expect me to join you all?” You did your best to hide your distaste for it, you liked Yoongi a lot, in fact, you could tell you were starting to fall in love with him but there was no way that you could join a polyamarous relationship, it was just something that wasn’t for you.

“Not at all.” He reached his hand out on the table and your eyes glanced down at it, at one point you would have reached out and grabbed it to keep him close but the mere thought of comforting him or being comforted by him was making you feel uneasy.

“I can’t…Yoongi, I just I can’t…That’s not my thing,” You told him as you bit down on your lip. You didn’t want to lose Yoongi from your life, ever since he’d come back everything had been so much better, the days felt brighter and your life felt happier. And now you were just going to lose all of it.

Everything fell silent, the workers inside of the cafe had gone out back and you and Yoongi were left alone with nothing to say or even do. It must have been about ten minutes since either of you had uttered a word in the other ones direction and you were beginning to worry about never seeing him again.

“So what happens now?” Your mouth was dry as you questioned him, looking up at him as tears gathered in your eyes.

“I don’t know…I-”

“I want to still see you…Be friends, if it’s not too hard?” You suggested, if keeping him in your life meant only keeping him as a friend then you were perfectly fine with that. There was one thing you knew for sure and that was that you couldn’t risk losing Yoongi now that you had him so close to you.

“I’d like that too. Let me drive you home?” He suggested as he realised that the rain was coming down quite heavily outside so you finished your drinks before heading out of the cafe together. 

It had been 3 months of pure misery for Yoongi and yourself, neither of you were happy with the “just friends” arrangement but you stuck out, deciding to keep each other as close as you could. That was until last month when the boys had had enough of seeing Yoongi moping around the house, it was clear to them that he was no longer happy with their arrangement and they were more than willing to, let him be happy with someone else if that was what it took.

“Yoongi? I thought we were going to meet at the cinema?” You laughed when you saw Yoongi making his way over to you but before you could even process anything that was happening he was suddenly kissing you. His lips were on yours and you were kissing him back, your arms folding around the back of his neck as you pulled him closer to you. A small whine left his throat as he pulled you into him, your fingers knotting into his hair and holding him tightly.

“W-Wait…We can’t.” You shoved him away, your hand slowly raising to your lips as you shook your head at him,

“You’re with-”

“I’m not…We split last month, I wanted to wait a while but fcuk, Yn, I couldn’t go without you.” He whispered kissing your cheeks before you stared back at him, a million different things playin in your head.

“You didn’t leave just for me right?” You worried that he would have thrown away somethin he was happy for, just for you and you would never be able to live with yourself.

“No..Not just you, I wasn’t happy anymore. They could see it and so could I,” He smiled before leaning his forehead on yours as you whimpered a little, kissing his lips a little too afriad he was oin to disappear if you stopped.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @rjsmochii @tinyoonsblog @sw33tnight @taestannie @cherrybubblesandvodka @acciocriativity @mitzwinchester @heyjiminnie @halesandy @jin-from-the-block @aerastus @namjooningelsewhere @psychosupernatural @lyoongx @royallyjjk @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @meowmeowisdaname @imafivestarkpopstan @laylasbunbunny @ratherbfangirling @backintomykpopphaseagain

[sisterofficerlucychen]

chenford thoughts, thoughts, thoughts 👀 bc i'm losing it between the promo and the interview lmao. contains s6 spoilers

this may just have been me who didn't put it together but we're getting another chenford dance ♡♡♡♡ when they showed a chenford snippet in the teaser promo idk why i thought it was them just standing there sharing a moment???? but bbs are gonna be danciiiiiiiing~~~

what if tim's "yes,i love you" is a red herring?? because i swear that right after he says it, it looks like she's about to turn and look to her right (like get confirmation of it from someone monitoring the lie detector perhaps???) i keep thinking of how alexi said they're always looking to "walk a fine line with chenford" plus what eric said in the interview about a "nice little confessional of information" at the wedding ― it makes me think that the interrogation scene does not end super well (maybe awkward, maybe angsty, maybe both?) and the resolution happens at the wedding where they're dancing and that's their first (official - bc we know their track record with firsts) "i love you"

RICHARD T. JONES TELLING ERIC AND MELISSA THAT CHENFORD WAS GOING TO BE SOMETHING WHEN THEY FILMED THAT SCENE IN 2X01!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this one made me laugh bc it felt very full circle in a way? like how grey was the one who paired tim and lucy up (i wish they talk about this one day like elaborate why he paired up everyone with who he did bc it was so interesting to learn percy had requested tim be jackson's t.o. and that clearly didn't happen) and how the actor himself was also like "yeah, that's gonna happen"

i loved that they were asked if they could pinpoint when they noticed a shift between them (and their answers, i love hearing all these different perspectives). i i think part of the beauty of the slow burn is that there's no specific point? also the way this goes back to "she fell first, he fell harder" because tim at the hallway scene in 4x22 was hit with a world of emotions and realizations after that kiss

chenford having to face the reality of what lucy being uc means will no doubt be tough but i'm so happy they're finally going to address it!!!!! they've been in such a honeymoon phase and every time the topic is brought up they pretend it's fine but it's v much not

"we had a big scene this season with each other" akljdfalsdkfjasdlfa. i'm so excited ... and a little scared lol

we know we're learning more about tim's past this season which is SOOO exciting!!!!! but i love how eric in the interview also mentions how lucy will help bring out the best in him to help him navigate that. it reminds me so much of s1 with isabel and s4 with his dad and it'll be so nice to see this again but now as a couple

"lucy's going through a set of circumstances that we've never had the opportunity to see her go through" *cries* mel's entire answer to this question makes me so excited for lucy's development. idk why but i don't think whatever she's referring to here has to do with lucy being a detective? it seems so raw and personal and it makes me wonder if we're also learning more about lucy's past too (also wondering if they're bringing back her parents for a sec 👀)

TIM STILL NOT KNOWING ABOUT LUCY & NOLAN SDFGHLADF okay but can they please give us this comedic moment because it would be gold

the mention of the moonstone ring ♡

bonus: eric being so proud of that jail tiktok is so funny and wholesome

[spotsandsocks]

🐺The Lost and The Found Update!!🐺 10k

Chapter 5 is done or start from Chapter 1

Cover art by @ronordmann

Eddie steps out of the cab, closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. The sun is warm on his skin, the sounds and smells wrap around him and say home, safe, love.

He only opens his eyes when a beloved and familiar voice calls his name then within moments he’s wrapped in arms that are soft warm and surprisingly strong for a woman her size.

“Mi amor you’ve grown so much!” His abuela sucks in a breath of air another familiar sound and he grins to himself, knowing what will come next. “You’ll be taller than me soon!”

He knows that too and has mixed feelings about it, before very long he will be taller than her which will be cool obviously but mark a certain change in their relationship he’s not really ready for in ways he can’t quite articulate.

As suddenly as he was embraced the person he loves best in all the world holds him out at arms length and studies him closely, brown eyes wrinkling at the corners.

“So handsome” she taps her cheeks and he bestows a kiss in the required spot. Noting that he really is almost as tall as her now.

“Come, it’s time for lunch and then you can meet the new guests, we have three right now.”

Something sad flashes across her face and she looks at him with a thoughtful expression and says, almost to herself , “Maybe having someone younger around will help.”

She doesn’t elaborate and Eddie doesn’t ask, just follows his beloved abuelita towards the ranch he spends his summer holidays at each year. It’s without doubt the best part of his year. And this year, now he’s thirteen he’ll be allowed to run on his own for the first time. Not that he doesn’t enjoy running with the pack but it’ll be fun to have a little more freedom.

Chapt 5 snippet under cut

A few weeks after the camping trip that left Buck upset and angry and constantly checking his phone things start to improve again. Buck hasn’t told him much more about his sister except she’s doing well wherever she is and then Chimney was back hand staying quiet too. Although, Eddie notices with some interest, he’s also spending quite a lot of time on his phone as well, smiling at the screen and taking more calls than he ever used to. Regardless of lingering secrets the tension that’s been in the air is dissipating. 

However something is still going on.  Bobby’s been out of town quite a lot, taking more leave and he’s been extremely vague about where he’s been going. Buck’s being a bit more distant too. He’s been making excuses about why he’ll be round later than usual after work or not be round at all on some days off, he’s hardly seen Chris at all which is unusual. Maybe this is Eddie’s fault, maybe cuddling on the couch had been a bad idea. Is this Buck pulling away, setting some boundaries for them because he doesn’t want what Eddie’s trying so hard not to want.

If it is he can live with boundaries (probably) but Eddie doesn't like  to contemplate the idea that maybe Buck might have started dating someone. Surely he’d have mentioned it. The thought unsettles him. So he doesn’t think about it. He doesn’t think about Buck and someone else out at dinner, in a bar, laughing, fingers touching, kissing because if he does it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. 

Considering how he’s refusing to contemplate it he spends a lot of time thinking about it. He wishes he knew if but dreads the moment he finds out that Buck is actually seeing someone. Even if he’s not right now it’s bound to happen at some point. After all he’s good looking, stunning really, kind, funny, smart and loyal. Who wouldn’t want Buck?

To distract himself from those kinds of thoughts and prepare himself Eddie decides that maybe he needs to build himself a life outside of the team, well outside of Buck specifically. Eddie doesn’t see dating in his own future so he might as well find something to fill the potential Buck shaped void in his world. 

Maybe he should take up golf. The thought fails to excite him. Maybe tennis? He could take up wood work or… he could start running or hiking in the hills. LA’s not Texas but it’s ok and being out in nature again would be nice. Maybe that would help with the increasingly restless feelings he’s having. Running would be a good start at so he decides to ask Buck for some advice on the best running trails around. 

It takes a day for him to remember to ask his friend for his favourite trails and Buck’s response is unexpectedly obstructive.

“Why?” 

There’s a frown on Buck’s face and you might even think he was annoyed by the request. There’s an almost accusatory tone in his voice. 

Having no idea what’s got Buck in a mood today Eddie ignores the tone but rolls his eyes anyway.

“Take a guess. Why do you think I want to know about running trails?”

[erineas]

Hi there! Hope you don't mind but I'm just wondering if you have any recs for fanfics of the skellies :D I typically love reverse harem trope ones racoonsinqueen & tyranttortoise my absolute favs but if you know any that are just one main pairing but the writing is still good, I'd love to know :D

OK, EVERYONE STOP THEIR HORSES, because it's fanfic appreciation time ✨

I've read my fair share of fanfics, most aren't finished or their authors disappeared but I'll mention them too because they still very much worth it and I. Just. Love. Themmmm!

Also I'll try listing by memory so this is probably going to be messy:

Bitty Hunt by RND_Injustice (SSLL but you're a bitty! Unfinished, has 33 chapters + 18 bonus chapters in here. 10/10 Already read it three times) My Favorite Red Scarf by RND_Injustice (Reader x UT Papyrus. Unfinished, has 34 chapters. MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE. 100/10 I want to marathon this fic with someone, if that makes sense) Fur a good time, Call by popatochisp (Reader x HT Sans. Finished, with extra chapters on Snips & Snails. Another favorite with a 100/10. Also want to marathon this one) Dirty Laundry by popatochisp (Reader x Swapfell bros. Finished. To be honest I don't remember much, that's why it's in my rereading list but it promise very good things and the feelings I get just reading bits are like-- kdjkdjkdj my heart!) On top of the Bone Pile by Lyrjok (Reverse Harem. Finished. Good writing, SSLL vibes but totally different and really good. 10/10. Rereading right now) A Mouse Among Skeletons by Duchess_Aquarius (Reverse Harem with more skeletons than the main 5 AUs. Kinda crazy, rlly, but I still ate it. Finished. Be sure to read the tags. Rlly good writing. You decide how good it is) Bones, Picked Clean by lulu-writes (Reverse Harem. Unfinished. 37 chapters. I don't remember much about it but I loved their Horrortale bros) The Skeleton Games by Poetax (Reader x UF Sans. On going, has 56 chapters by this time, SHORTY RED. I also love this one, another favorite hehe. Unexpected 100/10 to me) Aggre(v/g)ation by Llama_Goddess (Reverse Harem with UF/HT/UT Sans x Reader. Finished. Being honest again, I started reading years ago and haven't finished it for reasons that have nothing to do with the fic. I found it again and let's just say there's a reason why everyone worships this fic)

Those are ones that made my days the first time I enter tumblr. Now that i'm back, lets continue with the recent ones i've read:

House Next Door by BattleMaiden13 (Reverse Harem. On going. Has 130 chapters by this time but you're damned if you want to catch up because THAT AUTHOR IS FAST AF. I've started reading like a month ago and they already posted 25 chapters. Writing improves very fast as you're reading and there's so many things to enjoy. Delicious. 10/10) Saving Three Ex-cell-lent Skeletons by RecklesslyCaffeinated (Reverse harem with UF/HT/UT Sans x Reader. Finished with a second book on the works. ABSOLUTE BANGER. Another 10/10, made me heart bleed for skeletons and question myself) It's just a Game by Htsan (You x UT Sans. Finished. Unconventional. Read it if you like heavy angst and interactive games, and maybe hate your emotional stability... Really good, tho. 10/10. Made me cry so many times. Not gonna elaborate)

[tears-of-amber]

hey I'm sort of low-key interested in beginning witchcraft can you share some of the things you do in your practice (btw I'm Taurus Sun and Scorpio Moon and Rising)

Ok, so I’ll start by saying what works for me isn’t going to necessarily work for you. But here we go:

As a witch I try to do certain things as much as possible. I’m not going to say daily, because I’m disabled and it’s hard sometimes to get out of bed due to depression as well. But here’s a look into my practice.

I do a lot of nature grounding exercises. No phone with me, just sitting in my backyard on the ground (which yes, my backyard is cement mostly but the earth goddess is still under it). It’s a way of being mindful and connecting with nature. I whisper thanks to the nature spirits, and thank Jörd or Gaia who are earth goddesses. This is definitely a pagan thing but it overlaps with my witchcraft practice. Because occasionally I’ll do rituals in that same outside backyard space, and then I feel more connected and comfortable because they are spirits and energies I have interacted with before.

Another thing I do is I’m very INTENTIONAL about the clothes I wear, the accessories too. I enchant certain jewelry pieces or ask deities to imbue them with their energy so I feel safe and magical throughout my day.

I’m not a coffee drinker so the coffee witchcraft tip you’ll probably see everywhere with the “stir clockwise to invite” and “stir counter clockwise to banish”. I do that in lemon water. Lemon for positivity and energy boosting cause I’m pretty lethargic due to my health issues.

When I do a spell, I consider “timing” SOMETIMES. Like, sure, a certain moon phase or day of the week or month can boost my intentions. But honestly if I’m in a pinch and need to do a spell I’ll do it even on a day or moon phase that has nothing to do with the intentions of my spell. YOU are powerful. Always remember that. And heck, there’s probably some corresponding energy at play, even if it’s not the timing.

Also, I’m constantly evolving and reevaluating my craft. I used to use an athame way more than any other tool. I didn’t use a wand at all. Now it’s the opposite. And maybe that’ll change again. That’s OK. As beings and spirits we are made to change and grow. It doesn’t mean we were wrong or are right. It’s just a change.

Cleansing crystals or charging them is overrated. I know. It’s an unpopular opinion. I don’t cleanse my crystals very often. I only cleanse a particular one if I get weird vibes. How to tell if there are weird vibes? Honestly, everyone feels vibes differently. I just get a feeling in my gut.

I DO CLEANSE AND LOCK MY MIRRORS TWICE A YEAR. Would do it more but I’m exhausted half the time. It’s important in my craft because I’m highly sensitive to ghosts and spirits and mirrors are portals to other dimensions. Lots of superstitions in lots of different cultures regarding mirrors and the dead. And I’m picky about the ghosties and spirits in my space. I don’t want to block them all, so I use the intention to only let a particular type of energy in. If you have questions on my methods, dm me! I’ll elaborate. Hope this helps!

[joysmercer]

What if Willow and Mara became sinners?

ok unless im forgetting something major, the only way to "revive" the sinners would be to bring ammut into the world and then get rid of her with the staff just as they did in canon, right? otherwise their souls would just be stuck in a sarcophagus forever? so, the end result would be the same – the only difference would be how they get there and how smoothly the plan goes. (which, in canon, it happens very randomly, so you can only go up from there!) ok based on the notes, it's likely instructions were left with the phonograph, but in this case let's just assume one of them smashes it instead of patricia, leaving us in the exact same place as before. maybe they don't do it in the middle of the night (mara needs her 8h and willow doesn't seem like the kind to be convinced to wake up randomly for anything), though.

anyway, if willow and mara became sinners, it would probably have happened right when they discovered jerome's cheating – before patricia got taken. and given that willow's personality change specifically would be very obvious, i think the others would be clued-in by the dodgeball game – even without knowing exactly what was happening, they would be on the look out for Team Evil being Evil.

which means, once they read that book and learn what's happening, patricia would immediately figure out that denby's trying to manipulate her, and she wouldn't believe the messages when denby gives them to her.

so, all this to say that patricia would probably stay safe. which puts sibuna at an excellent position going forward! not only would she ensure none of the boys do stupid things to get themselves taken, but she's also still (somehwat) besties with joy. and remember, joy's probably freaking out about mara/willow acting weird too, and given that sibuna themselves are sneaking out of bed etc (hello, eclipse fiasco was like 2 days before this!), she'd probably ask to be clued-in.

(side note: yeah she doesn't want to be involved, but, like, when lives are on the line, i think she'd insist on it anyway. tor be damned.)

anyway. with joy there (and, probably, jerome in tow, given he'll also demand to know what's going on once he realizes it's not all an elaborate prank and his exes genuinely seem to be lacking consciences), there's no way in hell anyone from anubis is walking around without a buddy to keep them out of harms way (and diffuse any high-emotional situation before it becomes Team Evil fodder). so the remaining sinners would be victor, sweet, and some random kid from another house as it should have been anyway.

tldr; joy and jerome would provide some much needed level-headedness (or, at least, comparative level-headedness) to prevent any loss of Sibuna members.

so then the next order of business would be to stop team evil!! which, fabian would probably come to the same conclusion that I did – they would have to let them "win" in order to get the souls out of the sarcophagus.

but I feel like their ancestors would also be a bit quicker and point them towards the nursery rhymes straight away somehow so they get the staff assembled well in advance, get the intel from harriet so they know to keep the keys with eddie and kt when things happen, and basically while the others do become Sinners for half a minute w the rest of the school, they're certainly not guarding the gatehouse/etc so it's a lot smoother now than it was in the show. and no one's getting abandoned in chimneys or believing gross old men for literally no reason or sneaking keys into people's pockets without permission.

as for willow/mara sinner shenanigans i have no idea lskdfj i feel like mara would constantly try to set up elaborate traps (like legit physical traps) and rfs would just be sitting there facepalming. meanwhile willow would be utterly useless given how opposite her natural self is to any sinnerhood tendancies. like i think her brain would just be at war with herself the whole time. we know she's a descendant-ish and probably(?) has some kind of prophetic eye, and idk how Sinnerhood affects that but poor girl was probably being driven mad :(( luckily she wont remember any of it, though.

[broomsick]

Is it alright if I ask you for some guidance on connecting with the Norse pantheon? I'm entering into a really scary time in my life, grappling with going to college in the city despite being (up until now) a lifelong country bumpkin and possibly even moving out for the first time, all while being a timid autistic person with a terrible anxiety disorder.

Basically if there's ever a time I'd need the gods to be present in my life it's now, but I still struggle to feel connected with them sometimes. I still connect with them, I've had dreams where I talk with Odin and Thor and Freyr, but I can't say they're a completely consistent part of my life. Sometimes I even question if they're really protecting me, even though I know that's almost certainly the anxiety talking.

Is there anything you'd recommend doing to connect with the gods during a really stressful time? I have a very small and honestly not very impressive altar so maybe I should work to spruce that up more. Any guidance would be appreciated, sorry for bothering you 🙏 Thanks!

Hi there! First of all, I want to tell you that moving out is indeed scary, and it's very brave of you to consider moving so far! I definitely understand your situation, as I haved struggled with anxiety pretty much forever. Unfortunately, being a pagan with this sort of mental health challenge can bring about a lot of insecurity. And I find that sometimes, it can also make us feel disconnected from our spirituality. I don't think that this is something we can completely overcome. As a matter of fact, I find that it's better to ask yourself "why do I feel this way right now?", rather than say "I should be feeling this way, so why don't I?". What I learned with time is that our day-to-day circumstances affect our spirituality more than we think. For example, I often start to feel disconnected from my spiritual life when I've had a stressful week at work, or even just when I try too long and too hard to connect with the Gods. And on top of that, with social media being the way it is, people cant help but compare themselves with pagans who have more time and money on their hands. Now, I'm no expert on all things psychology, but I do know about spirituality. And I know that it comes and goes in waves: every single polytheist I've met experiences moments when they don't feel as connected to their Gods as they used to. Even those whose very career was tied to their spiritual practices. But those are not bad news! It only means that you have a healthy relationship with spirituality, and that you're not letting it overshadow the other important aspects of your life.

But more on the tips to stay connected to the Gods. What I know for certain is that sometimes, we have no control over how connected we feel to them. But there are a lot ways for you to keep them close to your heart. The first, in my opinion, is to make your spirituality into a safe and happy place. Find ways to make it fun! By listening to music that feels spiritual to you, writing down prayers or devotional poems when you’re inspired, wearing a piece of jewelry in their honor, making a Pinterest board into a little online shrine, drawing a rune or sigil which represents them on your skin, making art of the deities you love… In other words, don’t be afraid to mix your passions and your faith. No matter how “casual” it may feel! Sometimes, “casual” is what we can manage given our busy lives (which is why the size of your altar does not matter, it’s the love you pour into tending it that makes all the difference). It’s both perfectly normal and healthy. And if something about your practice/belief doesn’t feel right anymore, simply let go of it. Same goes if you don’t resonate with something that every other pagan seem to do.

Another tip I can give you is to simply try (don’t worry, I will elaborate). By this, I mean adopt simple gestures to honor them, even if there might not necessarily be a response. I find that this is especially important in moments when you struggle to feel the presence of your Gods. Leave them a small portion of your dinner every now and then. Do a little bit of research on this or that deity when you can. And if you’ve got the time, offer them a fruit, or a cup of coffee! Anything will do, no matter how small. Light a candle for them every night (routine helps a lot), and pray if you’ve got something on your mind. It’s normal not to see some sort of immediate response. But if you look around yourself during the day— if you look at the sunset on your way home from work, at the trees that rustle with the wind, or at the rain pouring outside your window—, and if you listen carefully to what people tell you, you might start to notice some signs. Recurring patterns and omens are a typical example of signs that a deity might send. It’s also fun to draw parallels between every day things and your deities. For example, to think of Freyr when you tend a cute new house plant. Or to pray to Skaði during a snowstorm! I have always loved “inviting” deities to witness certain events, so as to share the joy with them. I simply close my eyes, focus of the deity I want to call out to, and speak their name aloud, or murmur it. Actually, if you’re interested in this topic, I have written this post, which could be helpful to you!

Don’t be afraid to keep trying, that’s my most important tip. There’s really not much else we can do when we feel disconnected from our faith. Make your belief into something that feels right. Spirituality should be a happy place for you, and not a reason for worry. You deserve for your practice as a norse pagan to feel joyful and fulfilling. Above all, don’t force anything: these sorts of moments are inevitable. I’ve known them myself, and so has every other pagan. But things will get better soon, that I guarantee!

[concerningwolves]

do you have any like, folkore book recommendations? it could be of any folklore! although, i mainly know about Greek & Norse. or maybe perhaps, books about witchcraft & demonology?

Anon I am kissing you on the forehead. thank you for this ask

If you like Norse myths, Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman is a really good starting point – I adore how Gaiman weaves a narrative through the tales so that they feel cohesive. (I think this can be a slightly problematic practise, but imho it's also very effective if you want to just read and enjoy some myths). I read it in one day and then had Many Thoughts for the rest of the week.

Northern Lights: Legends, Sagas and Folk-tales edited by Kevin Crossley-Holland is a collection of Norse and Germanic stories. I've been meaning to reread this one because I don't think I was in the right headspace to really enjoy it the first time, so I can't give much of a review other than I feel it gives a really nice entry-point to anyone who wants to branch out beyond the more popular Norse myths. (Plus, it's up on the Internet Archive)

For a more scholarly deep-dive into Norse myths, I wholeheartedly recommend Gods and Myths of Northern Europe by H. R. Ellis Davidson. It's a deeply fascinating book which looks at the cultural history around Norse myths, then walks through how much we actually know about each Norse god and goddess. (I am still haunted by the fact Davidson says that Heimdall has been described as a "woodpecker god" and then doesn't elaborate)

Moving into Greek myths, I'm a big fan of the Mythos series by Stephen Fry. It's three books, one covering the cosmology of the Greek mythic world; one focusing on the myths around heroes and demigods; and the last telling the story of the Siege of Troy. Like with Gaiman's Norse Mythology, Fry brings a sense of narrative cohesion to the myths, but he's not just telling a story – he talks about the sources and different variations of the myths, which I find so fascinating. I've listened to the audiobooks three times now.

The folklore I'm most into is British Isles folklore. The Fairies in Tradition and Literature by Katharine Briggs is a fast favourite. Despite the title, she also looks at a wide variety of fairy-adjacent folkloric beings. I had so so much fun reading it.

(And on the subject of English folklore, two recent-ish favourites are The Folklore of Sussex by Jacqueline Simpson and the Folklore of Hertfordshire by Doris Jones-Baker; they're part of a collection of regional folklore books which I'm determined to read in its entirety. I really appreciated the way Simpson wrote about witchcraft and the kind of people most often accused of being witches).

I cannot talk about folktale books without recommending English Fairytales and More English Fairytales by Joseph Jacobs. I've only read More English Fairytales, but I've read it... so much. I killed my first copy with love and had to get another one. I picked up English Fairytales in a secondhand shop last week and I'm excited to start reading it. I think both are available online for free, too.

I'll have to go look at my cabin bookshelves tomorrow because I'm sure I'm forgetting some other favourites; I just wanted to answer this now before it got swallowed by my drafts forever

If anyone else has any recs of books on folklore, I would greatly appreciate them :3 (and I'm sure anon will too)

[papyrus-in-practice]

Hey, y’all! I wanted to give an update on Papyrus in Practice and other related stuff.

“It’s been about a year, where’s the next page!?”

Wow, when I saw it’s actually been a year, I kind of blanched a bit. I didn’t mean for the hiatus to last that long. Next page is actually done. In fact, a couple of pages are either done or close to done. I’m trying to build up a big buffer so that, hopefully, there will be a smaller gap between updates in the future. My plan is to have eight pages completed, line art for four pages done, have the script for the next scene done, and have a couple of pages worth of sketches ready. As I’m typing this, six of the eight next pages are done with the remaining ones in various stages of completion and two of the four next pages have finished line art. I’ve been working and reworking and re-reworking the script for the final scene for the past twenty months and honestly frustrated in how to wrap up the chapter in a satisfying way that won’t make me stuck on chapter 4 for another two years because the climax and conclusion is so long. So, that’s where I’m at now.

“I wrote something in the ask blog and didn’t get a response.”

I read every comment and every ask sent to me and, most likely, have at least attempted to write a script to answer it. But, I gotta weigh my options. Do I answer it at risk of delaying Papyrus in Practice for another month or focus on the comic? Depending on how elaborate the answer is, it might take a while to make a response. There are also things I just don’t know how to answer to and, believe me, I’ve tried coming up with a good answer, but I’m also still learning about life myself and I’ve found that, sometimes, my answer to a question has changed a lot over time. Sometimes, I’m afraid of saying something that’s ultimately harmful. It’s a tricky balance. At the end of the day, I've never guaranteed a response to any ask and never will guarantee a response. There are still some asks that I'd like to get around to, maybe if chapter 4 finishes or I get burnt out while making it and need a change of pace.

“Are you actually a therapist?”

Yup. I just graduated this past May with a masters in art therapy counseling. My title right now is a qualified mental health professional or QMHP. I’m waiting to take the National Counselor’s Exam to obtain my LPC but government paperwork is a looooong process(seriously, some of my colleagues have been waiting in the queue for over a year to get their LCPC). In the meantime, I can still practice as a therapist as long as I check in with a supervisor and have been practicing and slowly building my caseload for the past couple of months.

“Can you be my therapist/give therapy to this person?”

The short answer is no. The long answer is that there are a lot of ethical concerns when it comes to providing mental healthcare and breaching ethical guidelines could impede therapy progress, bring potential harm to the client, myself, or I could get in big legal trouble. I can also only practice if the client is located in my home state and goes through the company I work for since I need supervision to practice. However, I’d be happy to provide resources like websites that help you find a therapist, even for a reduced price, or self-help sites that can help you learn skills and develop tools to use that can boost your mental well-being. I cannot, however, provide mental health services.

“Will (insert character’s name) meet with Papyrus?”

Maybe. I’ve got ideas for characters in mind, but it’s more a question of how much longer I want to be doing this for. I’ll be honest with y’all, I’m getting burnt out. I want to do different projects or even revisit older projects, but I tell myself I can’t do that until I finish Papyrus in Practice or, at the very least, finish chapter 4. I didn’t think this chapter would go on for as long as it has, but it also makes sense. We’ve already hit page 25 which is almost as long as the entirety of chapter 3 and I don’t even know if we’re halfway done with the chapter yet. The way it’s looking, chapter 4 may easily hit at least 50 pages.

“So, when will you be posting again?”

Soon! Hopefully, before the end of the year. When I start updating again, I’ll be posting one page every other week which gives at least a few months of content for y’all.

That being said, I’ll see you soon!

-Meemie

[writerfae]

The Knights of the Alder Christmas Romance Movie AU

Here’s this year’s Christmas special! I really wanted to write something for Christmas this year, especially after coming up with this very fun au.

“I swear, Halea, this town is like out of one of those Christmas movies,” Talon complained over the phone as he made his way through the small-town center.

The streets were busy as always, full of people running (most likely Christmas related) errands.

“Aw, that sounds adorable, I wish I would’ve been able to come with you.”

His friend sounded wistful, as if she would really want to see the town.

Knowing Halea’s love for all things Christmas-y, he assumed that she would probably actually love it here.

“It’s not adorable, it’s annoying.” That was only half true.

It was nice, in a way, an interesting contrast to the stressful city life. But it was also entirely too much.

“These people make Christmas their whole personality. As if they don’t have better things to do.”

Halea laughed. “Easy now, Mr. Grinch, your grumpiness is showing. What happened to the boy that used to love Christmas, huh?”

“He has grown up,” Talon grumbled.

That was also only half the truth, but he didn’t want to elaborate.

He didn’t have to; Halea knew very well how her friend lost his joy in the holiday.

She sighed.

“Grown up too much, it seems. You act like an old man these days. Lighten up a little, Talon. It’s Christmas! And you’re in an adorable little town miles away from your father, you should use the opportunity and let loose a little.”

Talon sidestepped a man carrying a small Christmas tree. “I am here for work, Halea.”

Halea’s voice softened. “But you always work, Tal. Try to have some fun once in a while.”

The last time Talon really had time to “have fun” was when he was still in college. Now that he worked with his father, he didn’t have time for that.

It was always just work, work, work. And they both knew it. Halea hadn’t managed to talk him into going out in months.

“You make me sound like I’m a boring workaholic.”

His friend laughed. “Aren’t you?”

“I will not dignify this with a response.”

Another laugh. “Don’t worry, I know the answer already. And I love you anyway.”

Talon snorted. “What a great best friend you are.”

“I am,” Halea responded merrily, ignoring the sarcasm clear in his statement.

“Speaking of love,” she continued, and Talon knew whatever would come next couldn’t be good.

“How are things going with your hot farmer boy?”

He was right. Annoyed, he huffed. “He’s not my farmer boy.”

Talon hated the amusement in Halea’s voice as she spoke.

“You immediately knew who I was talking about though. And you didn’t deny the hot part, either.”

Talon’s ears colored red. If anyone would’ve been around to see, he’d blame it on the freezing cold.

“So?” Halea asked.

Talon rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you want to hear. There’s nothing to tell, really.”

“Did you run into him again?”

It would’ve been impossible not to, in a small town like this. That guy was everywhere. Or maybe Talon just had a talent for bumping into him.

“He showed me around town yesterday,” he admitted.

Halea on the other end of the line gasped. “And you call that not worth telling? I want to know everything.”

A long sigh escaped Talon’s lips. Why was his best friend so invested in this, really?

She acted as if this was one of those cheesy Christmas romance movies, which it really wasn’t.

Yes, him and Aiden seemed to run into each other a lot (sometimes quite literally), but there was nothing romantic happening between him and the Christmas tree farm helper and there would never be.

Yet he told Halea everything about what happened yesterday, just to get her off his back.

“Sounds pretty romantic to me,” Halea teased as he finished.

“It really was not.”

The girl hummed. “I wonder when you’ll run into each other again.”

“I’m actually on my way to the Christmas tree farm now, so probably soon.”

“Uhhh, to see him?” Halea asked, again sounding too amused for Talon’s liking.

He rolled his eyes once again. “To investigate so I can find a way to get Mr. Hunter to sell his property, my job here can be done, and I can finally go home again.”

He could almost hear Halea’s pout. “Now you ruined it.”

“It’s not my fault that you watch too many Hallmark movies. I have to do it. You know how father is, if I don’t deliver soon, he won’t like it.”

A scoff was what he got as an answer.

“Your father needs to learn what work-life-balance means. It’s Christmas time and instead of spending the holidays with his family he barricades himself in his office and sends you off to some small town to spy on some poor man.”

Talon sighed. He didn’t approve of his father’s behavior either, but what was he to do? He was used to it by now.

“You know how he is. I don’t think he will ever change.”

Halea agreed. “You’re probably right. I just hope you won’t end up like him. Take care of yourself, Tal. And try to have some fun, yeah? Maybe hot farmer boy can help with that.”

Ignoring the last half of her sentence, he promised to try and ended the phone call with Halea, just as he almost reached the farm.

And like Talon suspected, there he was, too.

Aiden, in all his glory, wearing a dark green vest with a plaid flannel shirt underneath. He was chopping wood near the barn.

As he got closer, Talon couldn’t help but notice the strength with that he did it. He made it look so easy, as if the axe weighted nothing more than a twig.

The muscles of his arms flexed with every movement; the motion visible even through the long-sleeved shirt that snug around his arms tightly.

Talon hated how Aiden could make even something like making firewood look so attractive.

He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but stare. Unfortunately, that meant he didn’t see the Christmas tree by the farm’s gate that he was just headed towards.

When he finally managed to tear his eyes away from Aiden, the tree was already fast approaching and his reflexes weren’t quick enough to stop himself from walking straight into it, face colliding with the fir.

The impact caused him to stumble and in a miserable attempt of keeping himself from falling, he held on to the branches, almost taking the tree down with him as he landed in the snow.

Loudly cursing, Talon picked himself off the ground, which took him an embarrassing amount of time, especially since he had to look for his glasses first.

It must’ve looked quite pathetic, even from afar, because suddenly he felt someone stand next to him, grabbing his arm to help him get up.

“Everything okay?” The worried face of Aiden entered his field of vision and Talon’s face heated up immediately.

He just wanted to die. Too bad the Christmas tree didn’t fall and crush him.

I tried my best but tbh it’s not all that good.

I’m too embarrassed about this to actually tag my tag list so I’m only gonna tag @deadlycupid and @bunnymermaidsblog (I know you guys won’t judge 🙈)

Like I said, it’s not my best work. I hope you liked this anyway ^^ happy holidays!

[invisiblegarters]

So Just How Present Has This Ex Been, Anyway?

Out of curiosity to see how much my opinions have evolved about OF and its characters over the course of the series (season?), I've been going back over a bunch of my own posts since the beginning. While I will probably make another post about how wrong I was about some things (and how right about others, I do so love being right and pointing it out), what really struck me in light of all the back and forth about Sand (even if most of it doesn't actually seem to be about him at all, which is darkly hilarious to me in an episode that goes out of its way to highlight how Sand regularly ignores himself to make way for others) is just how early they started laying the groundwork for what's going on with Boeing.

This is an excerpt from something I posted in episode two. Please ignore the part about Ray (I know it's hard but we all have to make some sacrifices here) and think about it for a sec. As early as episode two there was groundwork that was laid down thick enough that I was picking up on it - I say this because I am not exactly the most observant person and I do tend to miss a TON on my first watch of these episodes. There's no background at all given yet, this is entirely based on the way that Sand looks during this "interview". Which is basically like he's Seen Some Shit (as an aside, I just love watching First make expressions and I think Sand is some of his best work. He's just so damn good at conveying so very very much with just the subtlest changes. First what even is your face).

I also noted in this episode that Sand...doesn't talk about himself. That he answers direct questions but he doesn't volunteer information (and I'm getting ahead of myself here but we see this in action again in ep 5 - he says he has dreams but explicitly does not elaborate until Ray asks him directly what his dreams are. At the time I was not as cognizant of that because I was too busy being surprised that Ray would even ask - I had a Ray hating reputation for a reason, guys - but in hindsight (and while thinking about this post) it struck me. We also see him really hesitate before telling Ray about his dad even though it's in response to a direct question (and he doesn't give him the entire truth, as we find out later). It's also the ep where we see Sand treating his own birthday like it's any other day, nothing important).

The second is that there are still times when he's looking at Ray that I don't see fondness, reluctant or otherwise. I see a man assessing how likely it is that the animal in front of him is going to bite. But more and more I am beginning to think I'm delusional because the guarded, emotionally unavailable man I sometimes think I see in Sand is not the one I'm getting in scenes like one in the car after the party

This is not a screenshot because it's in the middle of a paragraph and would look weird but it's from episode 3. Because there was this way Sand had of looking at Ray (you know the one: head tilted, taking him in like he was a bug under a microscope) that made me feel like I was taking crazy pills in between all the ways he was already folding for him at every moment.

But now, with the power of hindsight, it occurs to me that I might have been supposed to be seeing that. I just didn't have the information to know that it wasn't necessarily a reaction to Ray himself but a wariness he might be showing with anyone that he started falling for. Because Ex Trauma. Also I think now we see that in some ways Ray in the beginning especially was very like Boeing - getting into Sand's space regardless of how Sand may feel about it, ignoring Sand's attempts to put him off or tell him no because it's pretty obvious that if he pushes enough Sand will cave, etc - and maybe a part of Sand even registered that and reacted to it. Or maybe he's still just very fucked up from his last relationship and those feelings that he hasn't dealt with are already spilling into this new thing (for what it's worth, the second option feels most right to me).

By episode 4 it was very clear to me, apparently, that Sand had a metric ton of issues surrounding the ex.

Of course it was. That's the episode where Nick plays that far too often used recording. It's the episode where Nick says that compared to Top he feels like nothing, and Sand gets his patented War Flashbacks Look (TM) and says he knows exactly how Nick feels. It's also where we find out exactly what Top did that makes Sand hate him so much: "He stole my ex."

And I remember reading tumblr at the time (for my own sanity I do not have a twitter account and never ever will), as well as a few youtube comments and seeing people taking him to task for that line in particular. And while I agree, it's true you can't own someone so they can't be stolen and Boeing probably left all on his own (very clearly did, as we find out in future eps), to me this was the moment when I realized just how not over the whole thing (and I thought at the time, the ex himself) Sand really was. Because you don't hang onto that kind of anger if you've come to terms with something. And usually (not always but usually), you aren't quite so eager to keep the blame hanging all on the person that the ex left you for if you've moved past what happened. Even if Top actively pursued Boeing knowing that he was with Sand (and as of yet we have zero indication that was the case, and honestly probably won't unless they plan to drag Sand's Boeing Shit into another season), surely some of the blame would have to go on Boeing too, since he was the one who was actually in a relationship? But nope, that's not what Sand's doing, which told me all I needed to know about where his head was at regarding said relationship.

Just putting this here because this was me in episode five. LOL had I known how much the reaction to it would annoy me I might not have been so eager (that is a lie I totally would have I am HERE for what this might be able to do for Sand guys you have no idea).

And if Episode 4 hadn't given me an inkling of where Sand's head was (or very much wasn't) at regarding his ex, episode 6 would have done the thing.

The man is so angry after he speaks with Top in the hospital (after the ex is directly and indirectly brought up) that he goes and straight up steals a sex audio and then uses it to point good old volatile Ray at Top's new relationship like a missile. That was unhinged. Utterly.

And the use of Ray was definitely deliberate. Oh, I know that there are schools of thought that Sand was also trying to torpedo Ray's chances with Mew while he was at it (and I guess that's why so many people were so weirdly smug about RayMew happening and Sand seeing it?), but I don't believe that. I do believe, however, that he knew that giving Ray that information would guarantee Mew would find out, and he had no issues blatantly using him to make that happen...but for me it leads back to Boeing.

Hear me out. I know that everyone was very focused on how Ray was trying to move on from Mew before Boston dropped his bomb and I get that, it makes total sense, but it might help to remember that he wasn't the only one. Here Sand is, taking what he thinks are steady if slow steps to having something real with Ray, letting him in in spite of still being guarded and taking care of those burns he got from Boeing, and then it's dropped in his lap that nope, all that was a farce, this guy he's been focusing on as a real option (maybe the first person he's done that with since Boeing) is in love with someone else and has been all along.

Now I'm not saying that he's correct in thinking this - but I am saying that Sand doesn't have any information that would make him think otherwise (and no, Ray being sweet with him is not it. Ray also made very sure to clarify over and over to Boston that he and Sand were just friends, they weren't like that, etc - whatever reasons he might have for doing it, that's what Sand hears, and he isn't psychic and can't intuit if Ray's lying to save face just in case Sand doesn't like him too or if he's lying because he doesn't want news that he's not entirely single to get back to Mew). At that point Ray didn't even know how he felt, lol, how on earth could Sand be expected to? He's drawing his conclusions based on the evidence he has - filtered through his own biases and past fuck ups, yes, but who isn't guilty of that?

Even though the situations aren't quite the same, it must have felt like Boeing all over again. And I will say until I'm blue in the face that Ray owed Sand nothing at this point, it really doesn't change that. And I completely understand why Sand's reaction was to retreat, to build back up his walls and to decide fuck it, I don't matter so why should he? Didn't matter before, don't matter now. And frankly he was way more upset about the end result than just about anybody else involved save Mew and Top. Possibly Nick. More than anything, what Sand's behavior in episode six told me was that whatever issues he had with the ex, he hadn't dealt with them.

And we've seen zero evidence of that changing. What we do see, over and over, is Sand letting the past affect his present. What we see is him being wary at best even when he has what he's clearly wanted almost this entire time - Ray right there next to him, all in on him and happy to be so. I said this episode that it did not escape my attention that Sand doesn't reciprocate Ray's affectionate words at all - he loves hearing them, but there's a way he responds that reads (to me) as rejection - not of Ray, he'd never, but of fully believing the things Ray's saying to him.

I've said it before and I'm going to say it again now: I do not believe that Sand's hesitation is about Boeing. It has nothing to do with Boeing beyond what Boeing did to him making him gun shy. This isn't a fight between Sand's feelings for Ray and his feelings for Boeing. It's a fight between his feelings about what happened with Boeing and what he wants now with Ray.

What I want, more than anything, is for this to be about Sand. Ray had his whole epiphany, he knows he's in and he's committed. But Sand hasn't had that. Even now there's a part of him that isn't fully in this thing - hence all the not really responding beyond smiles and shakes of his head when Ray's being ridiculous and calling him boyfriend every five seconds and telling him that he's got a mental rolodex of things about Sand, etc. I don't think it's a Ray issue specifically I think it's because he was all in once and not only did it break apart, but it did so in a horrible way, and even though he's moved on from *Boeing* (sorry but if the show wants me to think that he still loves that man it's doing a horrible job of it), he's not moved on from that pain and disappointment. I would love it Boeing pulls double duty once again and not only tests the foundation in this relationship but also breaks Sand out of that particular barrier.

What happened with Boeing has been, to my mind, woven through so much of this drama that I don't even think we need a flashback here. We don't need to see what their dynamic was like to see why Sand is so fucked up right now - it's all been there from the beginning. Sand put off really dealing with his feelings about what happened with Boeing, and now they're here smirking at him and making a bunch of insinuations that Sand has no real defense against. It's not surprising or confounding to me that Sand is dealing with it by trying his best not to deal with it, or that he wants to keep his new, shiny thing untarnished by the past (even though as I've gone to great pains to point out, it already has been). But he's not going to be able to get away with it this time. He has to deal with it in some way.

Personally I hope he deals with it by braining Boeing with his old guitar, but then I do have a violent streak when it comes to fictional characters.