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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 1 month

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💝 twst 2024 valentine gift message compilation 🎁

Yes, it’s that time of year again—

For preliminary information on what this is, please check out this post!

This year’s messages came printed on a coffin-shaped piece of paper. (The back of it is shown in the image above.)

The common theme underlying all of the messages is that the sender (you!) gifted the character a fragrance.

***Spoilers below the cut!!***

Riddle

My dear friend—

Thank you for your gift.

I’m not an expert, but I once read

that this type of thing can help with

relaxation. I’ll certainly try it out

soon. I’ll make you herbal tea

sometime as a token of my

gratitude.

Trey

Hello, friend—

Thank you for the lovely gift. I’ve

been busy lately, so it’s nice to have

something to help me relax. You’re

always going the extra mile for

everyone around you. I’ll bring some

homemade sweets over soon to say

thanks, okay?

Cater

Eeey, friendo!

Thanks for the totes ‘Cammable

gift! It looks nice, AND it’s got a

fragrance that’s right up Cay-Cay’s

alley. I’m super excited for the

gift-back, and hope you are, too!

I’m gonna get you something you’ll

be amped to post about on

Magicam.

Ace

Heya, pal—

I never thought you’d get me

something so fancy! It’s got just the

kind of scent I like. You’ve got

perfect taste. I’m gonna use it

soon—thanks! As for what to give

you in return, well… Got any

requests? Just don’t go too

overboard.

Deuce

My good friend—

Thanks for the gift! I didn’t think

it’d be something so fancy. You’ve

got a good eye for this stuff, Prefect!

It’s nice having a fresh scent in my

room to help me focus when I’m

studying! Wait until you see what

grade I get on my next test.

Leona

Hey—

Allow me to thank you for your

generous gift. Heh. Can’t believe

you actually picked out a halfway

decent fragrance. I might actually

keep this. I thought about sending

you something in return if the mood

struck me, but this thank-you note

should do the job just fine, right?

Ruggie

Hey—

Thanks for the gift! I don’t buy

things that aren’t absolute

necessities, so it’s nice getting

something like this. Don’t get me

wrong, though. I’m REALLY not

picky when it comes to people

giving me presents, so feel free to

keep giving me whatever you like!

Jack

Hi.

Thanks for the gift.

This is the kind of subtle fragrance I

can see myself using. I don’t like

being indebted to others, so I’ll

think of something to send in return

so we’re even. Don’t expect too

much. Just sit tight.

Azul

My boon companion—

Thank you for your wonderful gift.

You have quite the eye for quality

and chose a fine fragrance. That

said, I prefer not to accept gifts

without providing anything in

return. Expect something from me

of equivalent value soon.

Jade

My dear friend—

Thank you for your lovely present.

Did you know that morays have

keen senses of smell? I’ll quite enjoy

this. I’d like to treat you to a drink

at the Mostro Lounge in return.

What do you say?

Floyd

Dear Little Shrimpy—

What a neat choice for a present.

Did you pick out this scent ‘cause it

reminded you of me? Kinds funny if

this is the vibe I give you. I guess I’ll

use it if I feel like it. No promises.

Kalim

To my dear friend—

Thanks for the gift. You picked this

fragrance out for me, right? I’m

flattered! Ooh, I know. Next time

you’re in a gift-giving mood, you

could take me shopping to help pick

it out! The more the merrier, right?

Then again, that might defeat the

purpose of the gift… But let’s not

sweat the details!

Jamil

Hello—

I was surprised enough just to

receive a gift from you, but a

fragrance? You never fail to surprise.

It couldn’t have been easy selecting

this. I’ll have to gift you something

appropriate in return.

Vil

Dearest friend—

Thank you for your gift. It was a

rather thoughtful choice; I can use

this when I’m doing stretches. What

would you like in return, I wonder?

You’re getting something

hand-picked by me, so I’ve no doubt

you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Rook

Bonjour—

And merci boucoup! Did you

choose this just for me? I’m

delighted. The design is so lovely

and elegant. I normally avoid using

fragrances unless it’s a special

occasion, in which case I shall

happily wear one—the one you gave

me, of course.

Epel

Dear classmate—

Thanks for the gift! I don’t know

much about fragrances, but this

one’s mighty fine! It makes my

dorm room feel a smidge more

fancy. I’d better get you something

nice in return. It’s kinds fun

thinking up ideas for that.

Idia

@YOU

uh, are u saying I stink? is this like

a passive-aggressive gesture or sth?

I have questions, but since u gave

it to me, I gratefully accept. I

don’t pay much attention to

fragrances, but this one smelled pretty.

dece when I gave it a whiff.

Ortho

Hello, Prefect—

Thank you for the gift! It’s a

fragrance, right? So this is how you

perceive me. That’s fascinating! I’m

about to do a thorough analysis of

its composition. Who knows? I

might discover something neat. Let

me know what fragrances you’re

into sometime!

Malleus

To my good friend—

Thank you for the gift. Hmm…

This fragrance is meant for pleasure

and relaxation? What a tasteful

choice. I rather like it; perhaps I

shall take more of an interest in

these things. You would be welcome

to pay me a visit, by the way, should

you feel so inclined. I would enjoy

sharing an old tale or two.

Lilia

Greetings!

Thank you for picking something

out for me. It’s a rather nice gift.

Immersing myself in an unusual

fragrance reminds me of my days

visiting other lands. I know! I

should cook for you some foreign

cuisine as a token of gratitude! I can

hardly wait.

Silver

Salutations—

Thank you for your gift. This smell

is so nice and relaxing, it makes me

want to nod off. I hope tjis

improves the quality of my sleep

and helps me want to wake up sooner

when my alarm clock goes off. I’ll let

you know how it goes. Hopefully

well.

Sebek

Human—

I’ve received your gift. Fragrances

are a part of one’s personal

grooming, and you had the nerve to

gift one to ME?! Challenge

accepted. I’ll come up with the

perfect thing to return the

sentiment. You’re going to get

what’s coming to you—mark my

words!

Crowley

Dear esteemed student—

I was quite taken aback when an

unexpected package arrived in the

headmage’s office! To think you

would send me something so

thoughtful… Hmm. This fragrance

suits my tastes nicely. Normally I

wouldn’t be able to accept personal

gifts, but I think I’ll make an

exception for this, seeing as I’m

kind.

Crewel

Dear pup—

What is this? Giving personal gifts

to teachers is hardly good pup

behavior. But the moment I opened

the wrapping, I could tell you

picked this out for me. The design is

suitable enough, as is the fragrance

itself. I suppose I must commend

your knack for gift-giving. Good

boy.

Trein

Dear juvenile—

I generally decline gifts from

students, but you clearly chose this

scent out of respect for me. I won’t

use it around Lucius, but it might

be nice to use in the staff room

every once in a while. I gratefully

accept.

Vargas

Dear student—

What is this? Did I give you

a homework assignment that involved

getting me a present? Kidding, of

course. This is the perfect scent for a

guy as cool as me! I’ll teach you how

to make my signature Vargas

protein drink in return!

Sam

Heya, my little imp!

What is up? Did you pick this out

just for me? It’s a fantastic scent,

thanks! If you’re interested in this

type of thing, I happen to have a

fine selection in stock, so swing by

whenever you want! I’m looking

forward to your next visit.

Grim

Dear minion—

Mrah?! I was expecting tuna, but

instead I get some weird thing

called a fragrance? What IS this

thing? I woulda taken tuna in a

heartbeat, but since my

hench-human picked this out for

me, I guess a proper boss would put

it to good use. Be grateful for my

kindness, partner!

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whenmemorydies · 6 months

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Preliminary thoughts on The Bear, race, power and privilege

I’m a non-Black woman of colour who has spent all of my life in the west…so I’ve consumed a lot of television media that is produced by and for the white gaze. The most obvious way that gaze plays out is when people of colour are non-existent in a cast, or when they are included, are tokenistic, bit players.

A more insidious manifestation is where POC are cast to play parts that could just as easily be played by white folks: characters that have no interiority or external relationships related to their cultural identities, wider communities or individual or collective histories (for example, Mindy in The Mindy Project for most of its run, or the characters of colour in Season 1 of Bridgerton).

I've had some thoughts about how The Bear (thankfully) avoids tokenistic and "colour-blind" representation. I also have some thoughts about how the show models meaningful allyship. I'm so keen to discuss this with folks and hear what others think about it too.

Unambiguous and unapologetic

The Bear is confined in its universe, particularly in season 1 where it’s focus is tightly bound to the physical location of The Beef as the setting for almost every scene. Episodes of The Bear are generally not very long, so time is precious (every second really does count). These factors necessarily limit how deep we can get into each character. But the show is so good at drawing on different means of communication: images, lighting, score, soundtrack, phrasing, callbacks to previous episodes, other cultural references etc, that each episode is like a jewellery box with gems waiting to be unpacked and pored over. I've said that I have started reading this show like a tarot deck because of how rich the symbolism in each episode is.

So despite the constraints of time and setting, characters of colour in this show are also so very rich in their realisation and portrayal. These characters are unambiguously and - this is important - unapologetically racialised: through language (see: Tina’s use - and occasional weaponisation lmao - of Spanish), physical appearance (see: Sydney’s two-tone braids and her stunning, prolific collection of headscarves throughout the show), culturally distinct names (see: Sydney Adamu, Ebraheim, Tina Marrero, etc), food (see: Carmy’s peace offering to Syd in ep 1x03 of Ebra’s family chicken suqaar - a popular dish in the latter character’s birth country of Somalia), etc.

GIF by @chefkids

These may seem like small and inconsequential details to some. In fact I’ve been seeing a lot of commentary from folks online saying that what they like about The Bear is that race isn’t mentioned at all on the show. But make no mistake: race is all over this thing. The examples I've given are only some of the many references to racialised histories and cultures that build out the broader fabric of multicultural Chicago here.

What is not present in The Bear is a script that is wasting time explaining the characters of colour and their rich inner and outer lives to white folks. Those things are just a given and we are invited to witness them being brought to vivid life by this cast and crew. And I am fucking here for it.

Respect and allyship

Another thing I LOVE about this show is the respect given to, and the recognition of, the experience, talent, drive and ambition of its characters of colour.

This is most obvious in the relationship between Syd and Carmy who are signalled as complementary equals in many ways. Others have written on the importance of the representation embodied by Sydney’s character and you should search out that analyses, especially when its authored by Black women. The only other thing I’d say about it is that I love Sydney’s character and I also love endgame Sydcarmy (even if it’s only hinted at in the last second of the last frame of the last ever episode lmao…I will take whatever I can get of these two 😭).

I also see the show’s respect and recognition manifest in The Bear's investment in its staff, particularly in season 2. Everyone who worked at The Beef has a role at The Bear and Carmy, Syd and Nat fund the ongoing training and upskilling of their largely racialised staff to make sure this happens. Ebra and Tina are paid to attend culinary school (Carmy also gives Tina his prized knife for her studies and beyond). Marcus is sent to stage in Copenhagen to develop his skills as a patissier. And then we have The Bear itself - what started as Carmy and Michael’s vision, is now the whole team’s baby, with Sydney literally being made the captain of the ship by Carmy at the end of ep 2x09.

GIF by @savagegood

Part of what was so tragic about Carmy's fridge spiral at the end of season 2 was that he didn't get to see how beautifully the team came through in a crisis. Instead we had him internalising, regressing and lamenting how he had let everyone down. This language centred Carmy as the be all and end all of The Bear (saviour vibes) when this couldn't have been further from the truth (particularly in a season where the man spent so much of his time not in the restaurant but chasing manic pixie no-last-name-having Claire....but I digress).

Carmy is his best when he checks his ego, takes a step back and realises that he is not alone. He is part of a whole chosen family supporting one another at The Bear. And I get the sense that the folks creating this show know that we need more white folks using their power and privilege to step back and facilitate access, and less gatekeeping white saviours taking credit where its not due.

After all, and paraphrasing Viola Davis, the only thing that separates people of colour from anyone else, is opportunity.

12/04/24 Note: I’ve amended this post because I forgot to mention the most pivotal example of Sydney along with her relationship with Carmy. Also made some slight stylistic changes to phrasing cos i fixate on errors lol

#the bear #the bear hulu #the bear fx #white gaze #critical race theory #carmen berzatto #sydney adamu #tina marrero #ebraheim #marcus brooks #allyship #white privilege #power #chris storer #joanna calo #sydney x carmen #sydcarmy #carmy x sydney

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t-horn-n · 3 months

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for haikyuu, can i request a simp for shirabu or goshiki ?

thank youu (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

— delighted

PAIRING: tsutomu goshiki x reader (gender-neutral)

GENRE: fluff

SUMMARY: request from anon “for haikyuu, can i request a simp for shirabu or goshiki ? thank youu (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ”

NOTE: thank you for your request <33 — also a lil’ canon divergent :D

Despite your initial hesitation, when Goshiki invited you to a watch party for the volleyball nationals in Tokyo (organized by Tendo), you asked him the time and told him you would be there. It’s not that you don’t like volleyball. You enjoy watching Goshiki’s games enough, especially considering Shiratorizawa’s general enthusiasm towards its volleyball club. It’s just that, simply put, you don’t live and breathe volleyball like Goshiki does.

But Goshiki has a deliciously charming manner of making things seem more fun. Though you may be biased—just sitting next to the boy makes the dullest of lectures seem interesting—it’s evident to anyone that his energy is infectious, infusing his surroundings with liveliness. That’s what convinced you to come to this watch party filled with people you really only knew from watching them play volleyball. Just the promise of sharing a sliver of his sunlight.

You also know that Goshiki isn’t inclined to say things that he doesn’t mean, so when he invites you somewhere, you’re sure that he wants you there.

Sure enough, he lights up when he sees you enter the common space in the boys dormitory. Tendo, who is confident that Ushiwaka will show up at some point, and Shirabu are already there as well, sitting on the sofa. Goshiki’s laptop is on the coffee table already tuned into the competition’s live stream. He gestures for you to sit next to him on the floor, backs against the foot of the sofa. Something inflates in your stomach.

“They are just starting opening ceremonies,” he reports. You can tell he’s excited because of the way his knee shakes.

“Oh, I’m right on time,” you say.

“Yep.” He nods. “The team in orange and black there, next to the ones in red. They’re from Miyagi. They beat us in the Spring Preliminaries.”

“I remember. I was there with the rest of the school.” You laugh.

“Ah. You didn’t see me cry though, right?”

“I did indeed. I think the yearbook photographer got a photo too,” you tease.

“No,” he whines.

He’s unguardedly easy to be with. He makes things slow down. He makes things breathe.

As the matches start, Goshiki goes back and forth with Tendo and Shirabu, exclaiming ‘Did you see that?’ and ‘Wow, that serve was nasty.’ You simply listen to it with a dopey little smile because you just like Goshiki that much. You like the tangible things such as the way he smells. It’s not bad in any way—just like a boy, uniquely Goshiki (but you can’t figure out if it's his laundry detergent or what). And how his thoughts are revealed through his facial expressions.

But you also like the things that you can’t catch a glimpse of. His passion—for volleyball and his rivalry against Ushiwaka. And the way he makes you feel like the best version of yourself.

“That Kageyama guy is just so freaking cool,” Goshiki says.

“You’re cooler,” you assure, bumping his shoulder.

He smiles at you, taking his eyes off his beloved sport. You are simply delighted to be with him, and you can tell that he’s sort of delighted with you too. You’d be a fool not to notice.

— m. list

#x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #haikyu #haikyu x reader #tsutomu goshiki x reader #tsutomu goshiki #goshiki x reader #goshiki tsutomu x reader

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clairedaring · 4 months

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preliminary thoughts on my stand-in ep.6

i actually have quite a few thoughts on msi ep 6 but because i was/am busy moving out and settling in a new house this week, i completely forgot to join the msi discussion space on twitter 🥲

perhaps if i have time this weekend, i'll have a proper post for my thoughts. but i'm also very scared of accidentally spoiling things for others (although i do think non-novel reader audience are spoiling themselves way more with their 95% accurate theories than my vague novel spoilers here and there)

but in general, i really like the following points:

i like how confused ming looked throughout ep6 because you can feel that there's this conflicting feeling in him about trying to get close with joe 2.0 while still missing joe 1.0

ming getting himself a role into this film to get close with joe 2.0

i was so glad they kept joe breaking into his house again to 'ruin' his crime scene so we got that scene of him wanting to break the kintsugied cat mugs but he just couldn't bare to do so. ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

joe trying to make ming drunk was really funny because i feel like ming was fully aware of what joe was trying to do anyway but he just let himself get drunk because joe 2.0 reminded him so much of joe 1.0

joe putting ming to bed pleaseeee that's the fucking joe i know and love. being kind (to the shitty ex that kidnapped and cause you to be blacklisted from the industry) does not make you weak. and joe knows that.

sol describing joe PERFECTLY like how i've been yelling about him the past two weeks. joe is SELFLESS and HUMBLE. he simply cannot trouble others AND will take on the pain himself. -> which also explains joe choosing the worst money lender out of all the financial aid offers thrown at him

joe resisting ming during all the kisses in ep.6 until the very last kiss where ming pulled out after joe gave in •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

joe refusing to believe ming could actually love joe 1.0 and choosing to think that ming still likes tong even after he saw the kintsugied cat mugs and ming saying he REALLY MISS P'JOEEEEE when he was drunk.

my stand-in ep 6 really captures well the contents of chapters 50-60 of professional body double. one of the most engrossing things about the 188 novels is how the protagonist ends up in a tangled relationship with the scum ml again in the wife chasing arc. more often than not, 188 scum mls tend to threaten to harm or isolate mcs from their friends and family. which is why i really liked how this was handled in pbd/msi because joe got to negotiate his term and deliberately chose to make this devil's deal with ming on his own, meanwhile ming isn't out there ruining sol's life and his money is gonna actually help mom ing.

#my stand in #my stand in the series #msi thoughts #claire opens her goddamn mouth

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2024-grimoire-challenge · 10 months

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December Prep 2

Let's look into a couple of things this week The first is how to properly study, research and gather information and the second is the various kinds of prompts you will see in the challenge throughout the year.

The basic steps in any research process are

Identify and develop your topic (we will have multiple so it will be important to follow the same steps for each topic.)

Preliminary search for information - we will be gathering a list of resources for everyone before the challenge begins including websites, a list of recommended books, and more.

Locate the information/ materials - Gather all your sources into one place! A folder on your pc, or a bookmark bar in your browser can go a long way to helping you keep this organized.

Evaluate and use Discernment on your informational sources.

Take notes! - self explanatory. Using the resources at your disposal, take notes on your selected topic, gather all of those notes, and keep them organized. You don't need to think of this in exact terms of a research paper, but the idea is the same! All of your notes will be helpful in actually filling and creating the pages for your grimoire! But, you also can just keep the notes as they are in your grimoire!

Now lets get on to the types of prompts you will see!

Meditation/ Journal - these will generally be the end of every week and after every practical prompt, so you can look back at what you've done and learned, in order to help you process what you'd done and how you feel and think about it.

Research/ Study - these will include things like herbs, gems, types of magical practices and topics, tools, history

Practical/ Hands on - at least one a week, where you get your hands dirty, so to speak, and really perform some magic or do the work you're studying.

Submissions - I encourage everyone to share their thoughts, ideas, and physical progress within the challenge. You don't have to share pictures, if you're not comfortable, but thoughts and ideas and a short post about what you accomplished!

Holiday/ Seasonal posts - We'll have posts for the typical holidays and some that not so common.

Divination prompts - On occasion we'll have a divination prompt. It won't necessarily require you to perform any divination if you're not comfortable or don't know how, but the option will be there!

Cooking prompt - We've all seen those cool witchy inspired cooking posts on this site. So why not do one? Why not learn to make bread? Or mead? Or cute little pastries? Or anything. This'll be a new prompt, one I encourage everyone to take part in and share!

There may be more of these added as we go, but in general this is all of the types of posts we'll be seeing!

What else is there to do?

Well if you’ve already got notes somewhere (a notebook or files on your computer or what have you) you’re gonna want to actually design a grimoire right? And this is a grimoire challenge right? So let’s look at different design and style options!

If you’ve seen the video I posted of my grimoire pages, they’re very scrapbook/ junk journal styled. Which is a fun and totally customizable option.

Let’s look at some note taking methods, to help us take notes as well as design our grimoire pages, and some scrapbook supplies and ideas for ways to decorate our grimoires.

https://crm.org/news/note-taking-methods#:~:text=There%20are%20many%20different%20methods,and%20Bullet%20Method%2C%20among%20others.

These are just a few links for some ideas.

Your grimoire should suit you, no matter how you choose to design and decorate it. It could be a scrapbook like mine, a bullet note journal, or a leather bound tome with thick ink lettering in a cipher that only you can read. However you want to design it, it should be an expression of you and your practice.

I am excited to be running this challenge again, and to be helping all of your find inspiration for your practices and grimoires!

Good luck and happy crafting!

Mod Hazel

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hot-take-tournament · 2 months

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HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

PRELIMINARY #286

Submission 751

The mocking of general Tumblr's userbase's lack of reading comprehension skills should not be as normalized as it is

Man, I was gonna write such a long essay on this one... I don't think I can honestly, I have a lot of thoughts regarding this subject however not as much of a decent attention span to write it all down.

But, to simplify it, you shouldn't bully, mock and put down people or the general userbase of Tumblr or anyone really in relation to their/our garbage reading comprehension skills.

Like I said, I have a lot of thoughts but not enough time. So

Just... don't bully people? Misunderstandings very much happen due to lack of reading comprehension skills however instead of bullying others for it you should take your time to clarify your point especially if you two AGREE. but some people simply don't want to take anymore their time explaining and would rather bully others which doesn't help literally anyone in the situation and only worsens it. It's fine to be stupid, it's fine to suck at reading, it's not fine to bully others for those traits because like. What are you doing with your life. Bullying most of the times isn't justifiable I would say (unless the other person is an irredeemable moral failure) but in this case the person just might suck at reading or reading social cues and it's never good to bully people for that.

We can very much just avoid misunderstandings by taking our time, being patient, yada yada. Not bullying. It doesn't matter what the person with no reading comprehension skills reason is for being "stupid"'s reason is, maybe they're some flavour of neurodivergent, maybe it's because they barely ever read, maybe it's bc of something else or maybe it's a combination of several factors. They still shouldn't be bullied for it just bc they misunderstood the tone of your post or comment or whatever

Anyway sorry if this is hardly readable, I'll try to clarify what I meant here further if needed

Propaganda is always encouraged!

And remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

#poll #polls #tumblr polls #hot take tournament #tournament poll #tumblr poll #tumblr tournament #tumblr bracket #hot take #unpopular opinion #piss poor reading comprehension #pissing on the poor #tumblr culture

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myrmyrtheorca · 4 months

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ding ding ding! After more than one month in the making, I'm finally dropping the fourth character sheet upon you, plus a little announcement! My scanner isn't really the best and I hope Tumblr doesn't butcher the quality of the illustration, but I'll put a photo of it at the end just in case

After this one, I'll start focusing on making "longer" versions of the existing character sheets through the Atlas expansion of Notion. So we can consider these Tumblr posts as "short versions" for now!

More on that soon hopefully

---------------------------

Your commitment... is misdirected. Your efforts, misplaced.

-Tristam, Ch.7

Tristam Cavalieri

Gender: Male

Pronouns: he/him

Age (at Ch.1): 15

Nationality: Italian

Height/Weight: approx. 160 cm/49 kg

Flame type: Pallid Flame

Affiliation: Cavalieri Family (Mother Branch, heir)

Birthrates among the Cavalieri family are extremely low, and even lower when it comes to biological males. One would say it’s a curse, but it is in fact a blessing: children born male among the Cavalieri are destined to either a destined death, or oblivion.

If born without the Pallid Flame, they’re considered useless, a waste of flesh, and are normally relegated to low-level jobs among the family. If born with flame, their bodies are doomed to give out early in life, some not even making it to see their adult days. This “event” - because defining it desease would be underestimating it - is called the “Chiamata alle Armi” (Call to Arms).

But the coming of Tristam was truly a miracle. Born with the Pallid Flame and without the gene that causes the Call to Arms, he’s been treated like a gift from heaven itself ever since early age, a ruler fated to bring new life and glory to the Cavalieri Family. The result of his upbringing is a proud, gracious, and seemingly courteous boy who’s been his mother’s most faithful follower and apprentice.

He takes his role very seriously. The young lord has been gathering consensus quickly, and has made strong allies among the family throughout his teenage years. Before him, there's only one documented case of a male-born Cavalieri who possessed the flame and yet lived to old age - the Cavalieri Fifth, Bonfante.

His future is bright, he knows it. And nobody doubts it.

------------------------------------------------

Please feel free to hit me up through asks, DMs or Discord with any kind of questions, feedback or general thoughts on Killer Whale you might want to bring to my attention! Answering questions (while avoiding spoilers) is of immense help to me to develop my OCs more efficiently, so for anything, I'm all ears!

Previous character sheet: Anemone

Preliminary Info on Killer Whale: update post

My Ao3 account: myelltheorca

photo versions:

#khr #katekyo hitman reborn #khr oc #reborn #khr killer whale #khr fanfic #tristam killer whale #character sheet #I just could not wait to get him out of my desk #deciding his colour palette was hellish #his clothing also made me scream #but I'm honestly super proud of it #I should have included more expressions of his but I'm too tired and I'm late enough already #enjoy!!

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suzukiblu · 5 months

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WIP excerpt for @zepysgirl; the wet nurse omegaverse. ( chrono || non-chrono )

“I’m fine,” Clark says with an attempt at another smile. “Really.”

Bruce doesn’t even humor him with a dubious look.

“Then you’re fine to come to the office with me,” he replies easily, slipping momentarily back into the parlor to pick up their copies of the paperwork. Clark sighs, but waits for him, and then follows him across the parlor and down the hall towards his office.

Well, it’s a start.

“I don’t want J–the pups to hear anything,” Clark says, very obviously catching himself before saying Jon’s name. The pup’s super-hearing is erratic, apparently, and saying his name obviously runs a higher risk of getting his attention.

Thought Bruce isn’t sure it would, at the moment.

He’s just . . . not going to mention that right now, for obvious reasons.

“Thus my office,” he says, tapping the preliminary contract back against Clark’s chest. Clark’s mouth tightens, just barely, and he takes the contract and smoothes its edges. It’s not necessary–Travers left it in impeccable order–but Bruce doesn’t mention that either.

Clark can do as he likes right now, as far as he’s concerned. This is a good thing, but also a painful one.

More than just “painful”, Bruce is more than sure.

He lets Clark into the office first, and closes and locks the door behind himself. It won’t keep anyone in this house out except Carl and probably Lor, obviously, but it’ll cause enough pause that no one will be walking in right as Clark says anything he might not want heard–and, again, sealing off the soundproofing is a concern. He knows Clark’s more concerned with how Jon and Lor feel than how he feels himself, right now.

He knows Clark needs to at least think about how he feels himself, though.

“Are you going to be alright with this?” he says, and Clark . . . sighs, and looks away.

“This is incredibly ironic coming from you, you realize,” he says, just barely wry. “It doesn’t matter how I feel about this. It matters if Lor-Zod gets fed. If he gets to survive long enough to become ‘Chris Kent’, and not live his life reduced to just General Zod’s pup.”

“It also matters if his mother isn’t miserable every time he smells someone else’s milk on him,” Bruce says.

“Again, this is incredibly ironic coming from you,” Clark mutters, then sighs again and slumps down into one of Bruce’s chairs, lacing his fingers together over his knees and bowing his head. “I don’t know, Bruce. Maybe I won’t be. But even if he wouldn’t literally starve, I wouldn’t be alright leaving a pup who’s too young to understand why I won’t feed him without milk.”

“Mm,” Bruce says. He sits down at the desk, and Clark gives him a tired look.

“I just can’t let it happen again,” he says. “Jon was so–I can’t let that happen again. Ever. Watching my pups both adore some other omega is better than losing either of my pups. And if it came to it, losing them would be better than them dying.”

#zepysgirl #wip: the wet nurse omegaverse #omegaverse

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streetkid-named-desire · 1 month

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Preliminary results from the Cyberpunk 2077 modded body diversity survey - Part 1: Fem V

Hey hi hello. If you haven't responded to this survey or haven't shared among your friends or spaces about Cyberpunk 2077, do it now! I very, very, desperately need more responses.

I have someone helping me with the data viz to do some different analysis. In the meantime, however, I'm going to post some screenshots of some of the graphs and some of the most common phrases and sentiments I've seen. Also wow it is harder to generate a word cloud than I thought.

Some charts

Some of these are cherry picked simply because the responses aren't relevant/are intended to be used for further analysis of other responses.

Here is something I want to highlight. The majority of respondents to this question are using the default Vanilla or default VTK body.

The first three were the canned responses, and I left an "Other" for people to write in comments. Here are some ones I want to point out.

"I don't like the emphasis on small waist and big tits"

"I like having V be visibly strong but not breasting boobily"

"Most of the body mods are too sexualized/extreme for my tastes"

"I'm just starting to use mods and just haven't gotten to using body mods specifically yet - I really want to try out the flat chest, vanilla small, and solo body mods though because the default or larger boob mods trigger me in a lot of ways, also I feel like my nonbinary V would prefer a smaller/flat chest"

"it's so much extra effort to use and advocate for a enby body in a virtual world when I already do it in real life and the modding community seems focused on pretty and feminine styles anyway"

"most of the other body types lean towards objectification and ridiculousness"

Out of 92 respondents, over half would choose to use small breasts or flat chest.

Are there any body types you would like to see created? For example: flat chest with narrower hips, more fat in different places.

Here is a word cloud where I categorized the sentiments (as best I could because I'm doing this by fucking hand)

Here are some excerpts

"Pear shape, meaning wide hips (with hip dips included) larger butt, thicker thighs, WITHOUT the addition of big breasts."

"I would love to see more realistic body shapes and variety. Really I'm down for anything that's NOT the models that look like plastic surgery addicts"

"Flat chest with narrow hips, or any type of body with wider shoulders."

"Thicker arms, thicker legs, thicker waist, but maybe a smaller chest."

"Greater variety of flat-chested and/or small-breasted bodies"

"Definitely bodies that aren't skinny or BBL shaped for fV."

"I use EBBPRB but would love those breasts and butt with a bigger waist, a bit more of a tummy. Heck I would move over to vanilla big breasts if that means getting a body with a bigger waist area all around."

"definitely would like to see more ‘bigger’ bodies but more bodies focusing on flatter chests would be cool too. y’know, more natural looking than just big tits and ass."

"Waiting for a mid-size mod that has chubby details like love handles and belly"

"Vanilla Big chest with curvier hips! A more natural, balanced body."

"just more realistic bodies ! and true bodies, not shitty xl when i can remove like a machine, i want fat girls, skinny without hips, small boobs but big tighs … let us be creative !"

"Broadly more diversity would be awesome. It'd be fun to see something like Rhino's body type available for fem-v, for instance. Some actually fat bodies would be good too (as seen on npcs)."

"more realistic body types; pear shapes, average waists and hips, maybe even some cellulite? ik cbp is filled with plastic surgery and that’s not really the issue here, it’s just that some people also like their female character bodies to not be walking titties and ass"

"I'd like to see a body that's stocky and buff, with natural looking muscles. As is most fem bodies look very anime girl, and the buff ones look very dehydrated. Honestly stocky builds in general would be nice"

Any other comments about the current variety of bodies available?

I cannot use a word cloud for this because it is annoying having to write the same phrase over and over and over again. I started, but then summarizing as "too many big breast bodies" just got tiresome.

The overwhelming sentiment:

Too many big breast and big ass bodies!

Here are some highlights:

"Too much of the same thing in different packages"

"the lack of representation for other body types hurts me personally. with how many variants there are of big boobs and big butts it seems like if your character doesnt have those then they arent worthy or good enough."

"We're good on the big tits, guys! We got that covered!"

"i love boobs but i'm tired of boobs"

"Too many big boob/big butt variants that look cartoonish."

"Just want more realistic women body not the “ideal” or fantasy type bodies"

"No business being as many as rn if half of them looks the same. Good effort from Hyst but og big breast was already enough imo, angel, push up, ebbn are just three kids hidden in a trench coat. Would be amazing if we had someone focused on something else than pumping up breasts"

"I'm a bisexual woman. I fucking love tits. But can we please have less tits. I think we really progressed past the need of so much tits."

"ngl kind of sick of seeing another overly sexualised big breasted bodies popping up on the nexus"

"all the giant boobs/small waist/Kardashian ass mods for fem V are overwhelming. I don't mind if that's really what the majority of people prefer but like, is it really? also big breasts in reality are not nearly so perky and often are not paired with such a tiny waist. I think this fandom would greatly benefit from a bit more reality and diversity in body type mods"

"alienating. there's an ideal and I sure ain't it"

"It's kind of obvious many are made by cismen for a cismale gaze."

These are some I want to highlight, mostly because they're longer and I want to give them their own space outside the list.

While i appreciate the work that goes into making body mods and in a way almost all are beautiful in their own way it's almost all the same. Making a body "better" means in most cases just bigger boobs. Not only for player bodies but you also can see that in the NPC "enhancements". And while it's not surprising it's still a little disheartening that this is in this fandom as well the beauty standards. Because of that female character that fit into these standards are also mostly much more appreciated than characters that might be unique or interesting in other ways but don't have these bodies. Which can also feel disheartening as well for the woman who put much love and thought into her character or even made her after herself.

I'm happy there's variety especially for the boob and butt fandom because you do you and I myself might use one in the future for some oc, but I wish there were also more clearly gender non conforming/trans bodies and also more realistic/''natural'' looking feminine bodies where the breast size isn't the only thing that changes - muscles like in solo, more fat/less fat etc… I know first hand that refits are a massive effort and I wouldn't expect every mod to cater to every single body…because modders might want to offer it but often do not have infinite time and the troubleshooting/testing cycle can be a hell of a lot of work even for a bunch of bodies, when you're doing it all by yourself. So more likely it would have to be a community endeavor, let's be realistic - but having the bodies in the first place would be still a nice starting point I think.

That's all I got the spoons for today. I'll have a nice fancy thing in a lil PDF once it's completely ready.

I'll post the masc results another day when I have spoons. It is similar but most notably people wanting dad bods and chubbier masc v bodies.

#cyberpunk modding #OUGH #fuck me man #that was a lot to go through #im happy i know how to refit now #long post #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 modding

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the-cookie-of-doom · 9 months

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Preliminary: Everything We Know About He/She/It

The Cast

Mike: is a garbage person. He’s cheating on his girlfriend with his best friend, then (accidentally) kills him.

Peem: is also Not A Great Person, because he’s knowingly helping Mike cheat. (He does not deserve to die over this.)

Pear: Mike’s girlfriend, did not deserve All Of That, hands down the best person in the entire series. Seriously.

Meen: gossipy little bitch, acts like he was looking out for Pear, but was really just there for the drama. Does deserve All Of That.

Drama Teacher: got way too into making these guys make out with each other. That’s all I’m gonna say.

The Setting

This happens in the backdrop of a university drama class, because of course it does. All of these characters are messy, except Pear, who notably isn’t part of the class.

The living situation confuses me. First I thought Mike and Peem were roommates, but I think they’re all living in dorms/apartments close to each other. (Which is convenient bc it means Mike has easy access to Peem and Pear, without the need for many excuses about where he is.)

The Events

Mike truly didn’t mean to kill Peem. He was angry, but he wasn’t murderous. He made a devastating mistake.

Mike does have feelings for Peem, and I think he did love him. Whether I think it’s genuine love or he just loves how Peem makes him feel… depends on how generous I’m feeling at any given time. It could really go either way.

Peem is possessive. He’s vindictive. He knows he’s the other woman; he doesn’t like it, but he knows tolerating it is the only way he can be with Mike, but he’s going to make Pear's problem. He rubs it in her face without her even knowing, and I love that for him.

BTS/Interview Extras

Jeff talks about how he was playing Mike from the angle that he has an abusive and homophobic father, which is the source of his own internalized homophobia and his Thing with Peem, and the reason why he can’t let himself break up with Pear, which could have solved all of their problems. He needs to be the perfect picture of heteronormativity and masculinity. Which, word of God and all, but when viewed under that lens, does make Mike a more sympathetic character! Of course he’s terrified of anyone finding out about him. Of course he can’t love Peem. Of course he can’t even face his own sexuality. It’s very telling that in all but one of their intimate scenes, Peem is the one initiating it. Mike is always holding back, where Peem is reaching out, pushing for more.

About working out the backstory for the character (unclear if the writer/director were involved or if this is just personal interpretation): “for family issues, given the reason that Mike’s dad hates queers, so much that he’d even physically assault them, it creates a mold that Mike needs to fit into, that he has to love a girl. And when that mold’s shaken, he loses control."

There’s a funny/cute part where they’re asking about the kissing scenes and it’s adorable, he gets so flustered xD He said he thought they would be able to do it in one take and uh… that’s not what happened.

Another fun quote: “The hard part of playing Mike is that Mike is flirtatious, which I’m not personally. I just can’t.” Uhh… I think that’s definitely changed lol

Finally, the most important line in the series, coming from the drama teacher at the start of episode 1:

“In the real world, we don’t know who is acting. Sometimes, in the world of performing, we don’t know who’s real. Sometimes we can’t tell them apart at all.”

This sets the stage for everything that happens moving forward. Peem and Pear don’t know if Mike’s feelings are real (and neither does he), and Mike doesn’t know if Peem is really drowning, ultimately leading to his death.

The ask that inspired this

Stay tuned for the rest, I've got 3 more posts about this nonsense!

#cookie speaks #he shit it #jeff satur #gameplay garnpaphon #this is for you shu <3

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mahou-furbies · 3 months

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Miss Meguca contest (casual outfits), comments

All preliminary rounds are now over! Since there was some variance in how many people voted each round, I'll have to calculate everyone's scores with percentages. So I think the final round won't start until tomorrow. In the meantime, here are the comments:

Round 1

Let’s Hope Madoka Wins this Thing Again. I want to See an Idol or Maybe a special Surprise Image song round or something.

Most of these outfits are so good. I only docked off points for some of them cause they weren’t as interesting. Also Ayaka’s outfit is perfect except for the color of her tights

Always glad to see my girl, Ashley!

Hoods are always a good taste, so…

I'm a sucker for suspenders!

Yuuna, Rena and Kokoro are the TOP of winter fashion!!!

There're quite a few outfits I WANT to like but they're just drawn so weird. Like. Why is Mitsune's sweatshirt Like That.

Also why is Mami dressed like she's in her 40s.

I really love all the varied silhouettes Magireco gives its characters in their casual clothes. Yuuna's is probably my least favourite because it's so boring. Ikumi's cat socks are extremely 2010s fashion and I love them.

Ashley has the best one here! It's practically something I would wear!

Rena's was so cute… until the short shorts. Girl!!! Your thighs are going to freeze!!! At least with skirts it's easy to wear skin colored thermal tights!

Ikumi: I'm going to wear e-girl cat socks with the most boring fit possible.

Round 2

Ren's outfit is so adorable!

Bring On Da Next Round! I Need Madoka to Win!

Yuma stands out not being super detailed, but I like it.

Scene 0 Madoka's outfit isn't bad but I don't think the silhouette and blue jacket necessarily suit her. Also adult Hikaru's outfit looks like something I'd wear in IRL help

Yuna: I don't understand the transparent fabric on her, but aside from that, is a pretty fashionable outfit

Akari: The bunny purse? The bow with the scarf? The puffy shorts? *chef's kiss

Moka: teh top part is a 10, but the bottom is a 3

I would once again kill for Mami's, but Ria's on the block too

Felicia ily but THAT clothes???????

Round 3

It's designs like these that get my hopes up about character design and fashion.

Alina wins out because of the paint on her clothes!

No Madoka Here but I’m Alright with That Besides Madoka Is Gonna Be the Winner Again!

I love Alina's painting clothes 💚💛❤️

So many cute designs in this round💖

ADORE alinas outfit, its so unique among the rest of the super feminine and cutesy casual outfits!

What is up with that bow on Tomoko’s outfit? It feels like everything was just slapped together when it comes to how she’s dressed.

Round 4

sorry, kyouko. i cant stand orange+green color combos.

Finally a good outfit for Kyoko!

Why does it feel that they put more effort into making the winter ones and just slap some ramdom shirts and skirts for casual?

They really did Kyouko dirty in this game.

Looking Good I know Madoka is the Winner nothing ordinary or new!

Thought Homura had a mustache necklace for a sec

I was gonna give glasses Homura a -1, but she's getting a 2 for the mustache necklace actually. I don't like it but it's such a bold choice and I love that for her lmao

I dislike Kirika but her clothes are in my fav choices ;;

I find my choices a little funny in hindsight because Kokoro's outfit is a hiking outfit and it looks nice but it also feels very generic, but I also feel like Leila's outfit looks like she's about to go camping or something. Also I am OBSESSED with Homura's mustache necklace.

Round 5

I'd like to make a disclaimer that I'm not rating Ranka's outfit 1 because I hate it, I just don't think it makes a good winter outfit necessarily. But does this also mean she's into larme kei and shops at places like MA*RS and Ank Rouge? Also: 1) Yachiyo's cold shoulder sweater dress amuses me for some reason. Girl your shoulders! 2) Green is a very interesting colour choice for Temari.

Hotaru, my beloved!! Sleepy queen!!

This is getting Good Final around Ahead and Madoka must Win!

I want Konomi's one so baaaad!!!!

Homura with glasses has the best outfits ;_; I have seen a lot of hers in the polls and always I love how she mixes cutesy with black clothes

Some of these are awful

Round 6

Lots of threes this time for interesting silhouettes or designs that make me go "yeah, that's [character]"! Also Mifuyu's outfit is just one of my faves in general

These are not as awful as the other but somehow most of them has something that ruins the look for me.

The thing is, a magical girl costume is always so extravagant and beautiful, that when we go back to their casual clothes, we expect nothing less. Bu then it comes some disappointment, because they look so plain and simple.

Last One I Need Madoka To Win!!

hard to be picky abt it ;-; they're all so pretty tbh

ui looks adorable!! i love her little outfit! you can certainly tell she's a kid. i find her outfit works really well over all. a lot of others i felt like there'd be one or 2 elements just don't fit with the rest but ui's just matches perfectly in my eyes

This is so difficult because imo the game has really really good designs for the casual outfits

Round 7

Kyoko looks really good in purple

After seeing Yachiyo's dress everything seems pretty.

Disclaimer I like Kyouko's outfit but I don't think it suits /her/ personally. I don't really like the mauve on Oriko? I feel like she should be wearing white or a very pale lilac at least. Tsubaki's is okay I guess and there's something about Tsukuyo's I don't entirely vibe with for some reason

I came to the conclusion that Homura is the Fashion Queen…

And poor Kyouko has so much to learn…

Let’s Hope Madoka wins this whole Thing!

Kyoko's outfit is great, but not a good fit for Kyoko.

Nagisa gets a 3. The OG deserves it. Too good for this world. Too pure. Deserves all the cheese.

Again, Homura has the best outfits

#miss meguca contest

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mayhemchicken-varneyposting · 4 days

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Varney the Vampire, Chapter 23: That Satisfaction Due From One Gentleman To Another

[Previous chapter] [Next chapter]

Charles sits his uncle down and tells him his secret plan: he intends to duel Varney. The admiral thinks this is a fantastic plan, to the point of wanting to also duel Varney, but Charles asks him not to, and to instead look after Flora financially if anything should happen to him. The admiral agrees; he also agrees to be Charles' second in the duel, and Charles writes out a formal challenge for him to deliver to Varney. The admiral leaves, along with Jack Pringle, on his errand.

While he is gone, Charles works himself up thinking about dueling Varney, including making plans for how to keep him from coming back in case he really is a vampire. He reflects that, based on the appearance of the portrait, Varney must be around 150 years old, and marvels at the thought of what he must have witnessed in that time. Finally, he resolves that his duel with Varney must surely be life or death - either Varney dies, or he does.

Admiral Bell meets with Varney and delivers the challenge. Varney casually insinuates that he will kill Charles if they duel. The Admiral now reveals his own secret plan, which is to offer to duel Varney in his nephew's stead. Varney points out that this is highly unusual, but agrees. He continues to talk as though the death of his opponent is a foregone conclusion, and insists on using swords, which the admiral is peeved by. Varney winds the admiral up a bunch with his usual brand of mannerly insults before sending him on his way.

Oh baby, the DUELS are here. Let's fucking go.

Charles' written challenge to Varney is the most hilariously roundabout way of saying "I want to fight you" I think I've ever read.

"To SIR FRANCIS VARNEY. "Sir,—The expressions made use of towards me by you, as well as general circumstances, which I need not further allude to here, induce me to demand of you that satisfaction due from one gentleman to another. My uncle, Admiral Bell, is the bearer of this note, and will arrange preliminaries with any friend you may choose to appoint to act in your behalf. I am, sir, yours, &c. "CHARLES HOLLAND."

This is so vague. The first sentence of this could just as easily be asking Varney out. (Imagine.)

The admiral is acting slightly suspicious as he accepts the letter; secretly, he's plotting to challenge Varney in Charles' stead. Once he's gone, Charles is left to stew in the pre-duel anticipation, which I imagine is about the same feeling I get when I have to make a phone call.

Rymer seems, at times, almost resentful of the fact that there's a vampire in his vampire story about vampires. It's the way he talks about the characters like they're being silly for believing in vampires, in his story he's written about a world which contains real vampires.

It was strange to imagine that such was the force of many concurrent circumstances, that a young man like Charles Holland, of first-rate abilities and education, should find it necessary to give in so far to a belief which was repugnant to all his best feelings and habits of thought, as to be reasoning with himself upon the best means of preventing the resuscitation of the corpse of a vampyre.

Yeah of course he should find it necessary to believe in vampires in your fucking vampire novel, Rymer, what do you WANT from him.

I'm convinced, by now, that the author has no conception of how long a hundred years is. First there was all that business about rates of decay, in which he was convinced that a coffin sealed in a stone vault for a hundred years would decay away to nothing, and now, well...

"That portrait," he thought, "on the panel, is the portrait of a man in the prime of life. If it be the portrait of Sir Francis Varney, by the date which the family ascribe to it he must be nearly one hundred and fifty years of age now." This was a supposition which carried the imagination to a vast amount of strange conjectures. "What changes he must have witnessed about him in that time," thought Charles. "How he must have seen kingdoms totter and fall, and how many changes of habits, of manners, and of customs must he have become a spectator of."

150 years is only about two lifetimes, it's not like he witnessed the collapse of the Roman Empire. What kingdoms are you talking about? (This gets even sillier if we assume the story is set in the late 18th/early 19th century, as is insinuated at one point, because in that case Charles himself would have been alive for multiple revolutions.)

It would be aside from the object of these pages, which is to record facts as they occurred,

Oh, is it now, Rymer? Is it really? What important facts were being recorded when you went on a tangent about construction projects in Kent? Or when you paused the narrative to soapbox about religion for multiple paragraphs? Or the entirety of chapter 19?

The admiral knew well he could trust Jack with any secret, for long habits of discipline and deference to the orders of superiors takes off the propensity to blabbing which, among civilians who are not accustomed to discipline, is so very prevalent.

This is just...patently not true about Jack. Also further revealing of Rymer's shitty beliefs, which we've seen earlier in the form of the Bannerworth's servants gossiping about the vampire attack to the entire surrounding countryside. This "poor people be gossiping" idea keeps getting worse throughout the story, too.

"Confound the fellow!" muttered the old admiral, "he is well lodged at all events. I should say he was not one of those sort of vampyres who have nowhere to go to but their own coffins when the evening comes."

An interesting statement coming from the guy who keeps getting vampires mixed up with mermaids. Many of the vampire superstitions raised in the story are not true within its worldbuilding, but I like to imagine there are indeed vampires of the coffin-dwelling sort in the Varneyverse, and Varney simply isn't one of them. (Or he is, and that's why he can never get a peaceful night's sleep.)

Now we reach a real treat: Admiral Bell and Varney interacting. You will recall that Varney loves winding people up until they snap, and that Admiral Bell is already perpetually wound up. A conversation between them, therefore, ought to be incredibly entertaining, and it does not disappoint.

"Why, he is a young man just, as you say, entering into life, and I cannot help thinking it would be a pity to cut him off like a flower in the bud, so very soon." "Oh, you make quite sure, then, of settling him, do you?" "My dear sir, only consider; he might be very troublesome, indeed; you know young men are hot-headed and troublesome. Even if I were only to maim him, he might be a continual and never-ceasing annoyance to me. I think I should be absolutely, in a manner of speaking, compelled to cut him off." "The devil you do!" "As you say, sir."

(First speaker Varney, second Admiral Bell)

Varney remains pleasant and good-natured throughout the conversation, which only serves to wind up the admiral all the more. He's also being an annoying little shit, of course, which doesn't help. Behind it all, however, is a fairly serious threat. Varney isn't simply confident in his ability to kill any challenger, he takes it as an obvious fact.

"Ay, with swords; but I must have everything properly arranged, so that no blame can rest on me, you know. As you will be killed, you are safe from all consequences, but I shall be in a very different position; so, if you please, I must have this meeting got up in such a manner as shall enable me to prove, to whoever may question me on the subject, that you had fair play."

Speaking of swords, we get more witty vampire insinuations from Varney.

"I cling to the customs and the fashions of my youth," said Varney. "I have been, years ago, accustomed always to wear a sword, and to be without one now vexes me." "Pray, how many years ago?" "I am older than I look, but that is not the question."

I never get tired of him doing this.

And now...okay, I know the purpose of this series is to keep people from having to read Varney the Vampire, and pasting in huge chunks of text is antithetical to that purpose, but goddammit I just enjoy this next part too much. I'll break it up with commentary so it's not such a huge wall of text.

"Is that all?" "Not quite. I will have a surgeon on the ground, in case, when I pink you, there should be a chance of saving your life. It always looks humane." "When you pink me?" "Precisely."

I love the line "It always looks humane." It really highlights his skewed priorities, and the way he treats the death of his opponent as a foregone conclusion not even worth fretting over.

"Upon my word, you take these affairs easy. I suppose you have had a few of them?" "Oh, a good number. People like yourself worry me into them, I don't like the trouble, I assure you; it is no amusement to me. I would rather, by a great deal, make some concession than fight, because I will fight with swords, and the result is then so certain that there is no danger in the matter to me." "Hark you, Sir Francis Varney. You are either a very clever actor, or a man, as you say, of such skill with your sword, that you can make sure of the result of a duel. You know, therefore, that it is not fair play on your part to fight a duel with that weapon." "Oh, I beg your pardon there. I never challenge anybody, and when foolish people will call me out, contrary to my inclination, I think I am bound to take what care of myself I can."

He may sound flippant here, but Varney really is mostly averse to violence, finding duels annoying and tedious and preferring to run from a conflict whenever possible. I won't say this is a consistent character trait of his, because there are a number of later chapters which blatantly contradict this characterization, but it does come up fairly often, and several times is milked for angst. That's right, Varney is the original tragic tortured unwilling monster vampire, and every adaptor who's ever done that with Dracula owes me 20 bucks.

"D—n me, there's some reason in that, too," said the admiral; "but why do you insult people?" "People insult me first." "Oh, nonsense!" "How should you like to be called a vampyre, and stared at as if you were some hideous natural phenomenon?" "Well, but—" "I say, Admiral Bell, how should you like it? I am a harmless country gentleman, and because, in the heated imaginations of some member of a crack-brained family, some housebreaker has been converted into a vampyre, I am to be pitched upon as the man, and insulted and persecuted accordingly."

"People insult me first," he says, grinning while showing all of his big sharp vampire teeth and constantly making little verbal jabs at literally everyone he talks to.

Varney voice how dare you call me out for being rude when I'm literally neurodivergent and a vampire

"But you forget the proofs." "What proofs?" "The portrait, for one." "What! Because there is an accidental likeness between me and an old picture, am I to be set down as a vampyre? Why, when I was in Austria last, I saw an old portrait of a celebrated court fool, and you so strongly resemble it, that I was quite struck when I first saw you with the likeness; but I was not so unpolite as to tell you that I considered you were the court fool turned vampyre." "D—n your assurance!" "And d—n yours, if you come to that."

Damn, roast him Varney.

After Admiral Bell leaves, so frothing mad that he kicks Varney's servant on the way out the door (uncalled for), he starts to worry about what he's going to tell Charles, now that he's arranged the particulars for his own duel instead of for Charles' like he was supposed to. Yeah, dude, maybe you should have thought about that beforehand.

Next: Varney asks Charles out arranges a not-at-all-suspicious meeting

#varney the vampire #varney summary #charles holland #admiral bell #sir francis varney #this is a rymer hate blog #varney/charles #well varney are you going to give charles satisfaction with your sw[i am shot dead]

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telomeke · 7 months

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LAST TWILIGHT AND READING THE SUNSET – VISUALS, OPTICS AND ENDINGS IN BONDAGE TO THE BAHT

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Last Twilight aired its final episode on Friday 26 January 2024, and the response on BL Tumblr to how things wrapped up (at least among the majority of BL watchers whom I follow) has been a lot of head-shaking disappointment, if not exactly full-on hatred. Without the bittersweet touches we've come to expect from Director Aof as counterballast for his trademark uplifting sentimentality, the ending came across as unforgivably sappy and sugary-sweet for many of us.

And I found myself agreeing with a lot of the criticism being flung at Last Twilight – for the ardent Noppharnachionados accustomed to more nuanced, thought-provoking output from Director Aof (Moonlight Chicken comes immediately to mind) the final episode of Last Twilight (and especially the fourth instalment, Part [4/4]) felt very boxer-gloved, rushing to hit its marks but then only clobbering bluntly at the surface, never venturing deeper and lacking subtlety at every turn.

But I've been giving it a once-over, because it's a little surprising to me that Khun Noppharnach (who's such an expert at his craft) could land quite the dud that some, including me, were so uncharitably calling Last Twilight.

And I now think – as Khun Noppharnach has done so many times before – he may very well be trolling us again. Because on my rewatch, I'm finding that the narrative holds certain clues that Director Aof was possibly quite conscious of what he was doing with Ep.12 of Last Twilight. On closer inspection it's a whole lot cleverer than it seems (maybe a bit too clever for its own good) – but it does require much sign-reading though (and caveat: I'm not a trained or professional tea leaf reader!). 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, after a speed-run rewatch of the 12 episodes (just skimming the surface really, so forgive me if I overlook anything) I've decided I need to reconsider a lot of my preliminary judgement about Last Twilight's final episode (and the series in general). I now think it actually does satisfy on a number of levels (even while it continues to disappoint on so many others). But because of work and other commitments though, this post is very late (still, better late than never I guess!)

I'm not wanting to spend too much time on the text and subtext, because it's the metatextual level of Last Twilight (what this BL says about BL) that intrigues me the most. But this is going to be a super-long post anyway.

In many ways Last Twilight was a departure from Director Aof's usual work, and the most obvious was its return to the structure and content typical of a traditional romance drama. Khun Noppharnach had actually moved away from this in his output over the past few years (once again, Moonlight Chicken is the paragon of examples; Bad Buddy nodded at this, if only to subvert it and signal to us that Khun Noppharnach was attempting an overhaul of LGBTQ+ depictions in the BL industry).

Some background to start things off – BL, including Thai BL, owes a lot to het romance dramas that set the archetypal framework early on, and early BLs often followed that inherited formula very closely (I think SOTUS and Together with Me fit this bill).

Painting with the broadest of brushstrokes, a stereotypical (het) romance drama can usually be expected to structure its narrative according to the following:

The meeting of the protagonists, usually a fraught mix of attraction and friction;

They go on a journey of falling in love with each other (and we get to watch along);

A major conflict arises to test their love and commitment;

They triumph over the conflict and end up happily ever after (most of the time) or are overcome by it (and the love story ends tragically, some of the time).

As a lot of romance stories are targeted at women, typically the female protagonist in a het romance drama is the center of attention, and the story is told from her point of view as well.

And because of their het predecessors, early BLs also tended to depict their couples with a masculine/feminine framing (which could also be spun out into a dominant/submissive and/or active/passive dynamic – the dreaded seme/uke binary).

Director Aof took a wrecking ball to all that with Bad Buddy (upending the structure, subverting the conflict, dispensing with seme/uke), and his works have since veered toward more-rounded LGBTQ+ drama, centered around romance, but forgoing the stereotypical structure and beats of more traditional romance dramas.

But if you think about it, Last Twilight actually hews quite closely back to the original template.

For example, Mhok is a big, scruffy ex-convict and mechanic, stereotypically masculine – the proverbial seme – while Day is slighter, younger and a Mama's boy (despite what Night says at Ep.10 [2/4] 16.24) leaning into uke territory.

The structure was pretty traditional as well:

The early entanglements of Mhok and Day were a mix of antagonism and attraction;

They went on a journey of falling in love with each other despite their differences, that we were allowed to witness – we had "masculine" Mhok losing his heart to "feminine" Day first, with the seme then pursuing his grumpy uke (a tsundere?) and subjecting us to plenty of swoonworthy Aaaaw moments as Mhok piled on much tenderness, care and affection;

The major conflict that tested their love and commitment was actually Day's questioning of Mhok's motivations, leading to their rupture in the clichéd Episode 11 of Doom;

They triumphed over the conflict after Mhok returned and demonstrated that he'd grown and learnt his lessons in meeting Day's less visible needs – not very convincingly though (and I think this is one part where a lot of us feel extremely let down by the narrative) – but it was enough to sweep Day off his feet once again, and they got their happily ever after.

There was some padding in the middle (including the obligatory out-of-town tourism jaunt – I'm convinced BLs that do this receive grants from the Tourism Authority, and in Last Twilight we were treated to a sojourn in Songkhla). The show really had to work stretching things out over 11 episodes (which was why, for me, the pacing started to drag in the second half). But overall I think the structure of Last Twilight marks a faithful return to BLs (and het romances) of older times.

With regard to characterization, Day rendered progressively hapless and helpless as his vision declined made him easy to read as a damsel-in-distress, the object of savior-knight Mhok's affections and ministrations. It's thus also unsurprising when we were shown more of Day's point of view than Mhok's (just as we usually get to see more of a heroine's interior journey in traditional het romance dramas than her romantic foil's). Last Twilight was nodding at the past once more, asking us again to view it through the lens of an old-school (BL) romance drama.

A lot of romance dramas also tend to be intellectually lightweight – some are pure sentimental, throwaway indulgence – and if we place Last Twilight somewhere on the less demanding end of the spectrum, it's a more than serviceable example of the genre and has in fact more heft than most. (I was expecting it to land more in queer drama territory as has most of Khun Noppharnach's work, and the fact that it only half did contributed a lot to my sense of disappointment at the end.)

But as a lighter piece of trad BL fluff, Last Twilight did punch above its weight class very often. And all of the discourse around vision and Day's increasing blindness was the early tip-off to one of its weightier, central themes – that of seeing and being seen in the light of one's truth.

As his vision faded, Day found himself subject to his greatest fear – of being seen as less than his truth, especially when by all accounts he had been a storied and admired athlete prior to his visual debilitation. Day was still the same person despite his loss of vision, and he was painfully reminded of this fact every time those around him forgot it. Last Twilight deftly showed us that his early snark and cynicism were a brittle defense against being seen as nothing more than an object of pity, the ghost of his former self (which is what Mee/Me in the novel Last Twilight was also about).

There are many examples of this, e.g., when he avoided his friends after blindness set in, and his meltdown at the party they threw him after a rapprochement (Ep.6 [3‌/4] 20.12, when it became clear they viewed him as a weakling in need of rescue at the first sign of trouble, inferior to his previous incarnation as an athletic champion). The story arc with August's feigned romantic interest was also another of Day's nightmares coming true, being exactly the sort of innocently insulting and unconsciously condescending treatment he was trying to avoid.

And of course this was the reason behind his break-up with Mhok in Episode 11, when he sensed that Mhok's care and concern were in part tied to a notion of Day as being less than whatever the nebulous concept of "normal" was in his head. (For context, Mhon and Day have an exchange about the meaning of a "normal" life for Day at Ep.10 [2/4] 7.35), Mhok talks about Day wanting to be "normal" at Ep.11 [1‌/4] 10.22, and Mhon reminds Day of his wish to be "normal" at Ep.12 [3‌/4] 16.29). Despite – or maybe because of – how objectionable the word may be, I think Last Twilight is inviting us to question our ideas about it too.)

So a large part of Day's story arc involved him overcoming his own hang-ups and dealing with how he was seen by the world around him, to stand in the light of his own truth (as a proud member of the differently abled community).

Mhok's character also had a parallel journey. Excluding those who knew him well, society refused to see beyond his rough-hewn persona (and his prison background too, it must be said). His options in life were thus limited by how he was always seen as an outsider, and subjected to othering because his presence was invariably associated with negativity, risk and harm.

But as Mhok demonstrated time and again, his truth (that for the longest time only Porjai and maybe Rung could seem to see) was far less violent and menacing than what was read by the people around him. And his character's journey toward self-actualization in Last Twilight was to arrive at a life truer to his inner self, noting that what we see at the beginning of the series is Mhok trying valiantly to live up to his ruffian image, prone to fights and aggression. With this, it's possible to read that Mhok himself was unable to comprehend fully his own inner impulses, and it was only his time as caregiver and later faen in Day's life that opened his eyes to living out his more nurturing, other-focused energy within (and that must have served him well too, in his later career as a chef crafting dishes for others to enjoy).

In contrast to Day, whose struggle was also about being seen for his truth while cast (by others) in a negative light, Mhok chose to align himself with whatever role the world put him in (whether it was a rabble-rouser mechanic, a straight boyfriend to Porjai, or a guardian to the infantilized Day) whereas Day chose to reject any outsider-determined identity outright. And Mhok failed at his roles mostly because they were inauthentic to his truth, except for his time as Day's caregiver. For the first time there Mhok's failure was different, not because the caregiving recognized his own truth (coming from kindness and softness within) but because it did not recognize Day's truth (as his approach to taking care of Day still perpetuated the invalidation of Day's wholeness as a person).

Mhok and Day's names are also a quiet hat tip to this – with Mhok's name (หมอก, that means fog or mist) also a metaphor for how visibility of the truth behind his amorphous self was obscured for the longest time, while Day's name (actually the English word day, with all its connotations of light and clarity) is a metaphor for how he was clear about his own truth and identity from the start, but needed to be seen correctly, undistorted by any filter of shame or pity.

However, GMMTV's commercial insistence on pair branding worked somewhat against the characterizations – my read is that Day was probably written as much more fragile in appearance (belying the tough athlete that he really was beyond surface impressions, and explaining the tendency of his friends, family and caregivers to want to infantilize him post-blindness). As an aside, badminton is one of those sports that forgives a certain delicacy of frame, as it rewards lightness and agility more than brute strength on the court. Meanwhile Mhok was (I think) written as this big beast of a man whose appearance would scare off all but the most foolhardy, meaning that his innate kindness and sensitivity would remain unseen by most.

Unfortunately Sea is built pretty sturdily as an actual badminton athlete (and he's tall as well) while dermatologist Jimmy is just too porcelain-skinned and delicate-featured pull off any convincing evocation of physical brutishness. Pity, because the pair do have chemistry and their acting was mostly credible in Last Twilight (especially from Sea, who brings an easy and natural charm to his portrayals).

Anyway, I can suss out two visual metaphors in the series that illustrate the ideas described above. But as the analysis of these metaphors is also long, I've moved it all away into its own post linked here: The Fishtank and the Flowers. I found both metaphors to be fascinating (the goldfish aquarium, as well as the pairing of the jasmine with the sunflower), but it was the blooms especially that took me by surprise (when it became clearer which was assigned to Mhok and which to Day). 🤩

So while we're on the characters though, here's an aside about the criticism of how Mhok was treated by the narrative and the outrage surrounding his apology at Ep.12 [2/4] 10.55. Yes, he had been a selfless caregiver and a caring lover, but there were also numerous examples of him treating Day as less than an adult with his own agency, doing to Day what August, Mhon and the replacement caregiver (Assistant Director Meng Chaiyapat's extended cameo, at Ep.10 [2/4] 0.27) had done, by controlling the playbook and removing Day's choice and say in matters directly related to his own life. Some examples of where Mhok fell short:

Pretending not to find the copy of Last Twilight in the Chatuchak secondhand bookstore, gaslighting Day into believing it was his own discovery (Ep.3 [3‌/4] 9.41) – you might lie to a kid about Santa Claus (and I'm divided about that), but nevertheless Day was not a kid and should not have been treated like one.

Lying about Night's involvement in their plan to see Mount Veha (Ep.8 [1‌/4] 17.34) – more gaslighting.

Going back on his word and telling Mhon and Night about Day winning the dancing garland (Ep.11 [4/4] 7.35) – this was just plain disrespectful, especially after Day had shared his mixed feelings about the "win" (Ep.11 [4/4] 1.45).

Taking advantage of Day's blindness to prank him (Ep.11 [3‌/4] 7.32 and Ep.11 [4/4] 3.38) – unless Day liked surprises (of which I see no sign) laughs derived from exploiting someone's vulnerabilities are never to be lauded (please don't jumpscare the blind, people).

And the ultimate – lying about the job offer in Hawaii, which was the last straw for Day (Ep.11 [4/4] 10.51).

All the above might have come from a place of love, motivated out of the goodness of Mhok's heart – but even if they were meant to uplift or support Day, his actions were all disrespectful (even damaging) to Day's own agency and personal situation as someone struggling with visual disability.

In this light (pun intended) I had to re-think my judgement of Mhok's apology to Day in Ep.12, because he did need to learn to care for Day on terms acceptable to Day as well, and not have expected him to give that up just because he needed care.

Now because it's Khun Noppharnach, it will always be possible to give a queer reading to his work. So Day's dread at being seen as less than what society perceives as "normal", and Mhok's struggle with his status as the feared and misunderstood "other", can both be read as stand-ins for (some parts of) the LGBTQ+ experience, where full acceptance of the queer minority has yet to become the norm for most, if not all, societies. But I guess that should be obvious to all by now.

Anyway, there's a whole lot more burbling within Last Twilight that can be explored at length, but as I've gone on too long already I'm simply going to mention them here and then skip on:

The novel Last Twilight that features so prominently everywhere within the series (that not-so-coincidentally shares its name) is rich with significance as a parallel to (and comment on) Mhok and Day's own story, especially with Mee/Me's struggle to be seen in a world often blind to her presence.

Day becoming increasingly unseen as the neverending night of blindness became his defining identity is mirrored by Mee/Me needing to step away from darkness in order to be seen by the world around her (and her light-chasing is also a parallel for the sun-seeking of the sunflower, Day's totemic bloom, and in that way another metaphor for Day's reliance on external validation – see this write-up linked here for more elaboration on that aspect of Day's personality).

Day's blindness was not at all the first time Khun Noppharnach has used a form of health-related affliction as a metaphor for the queer condition, highlighting the parallels of the LGBTQ+ experience with the social model of disability. Other examples of this in his work include Heart's deafness in Moonlight Chicken, Tian's and Med's heart conditions in A Tale of Thousand Stars and He's Coming to Me respectively (the latter maybe less so though) and Pran's obsessive-compulsive disorder in Bad Buddy.

Also in He's Coming to Me, Med's predicament as a ghost subject to all sorts of constraints in the world of the living, as well as his invisibility to those insensitive to his situation, was a parallel with Last Twilight's theme of being seen for your true self even as the wider world imposes restrictions on you, and is similarly an allegory for the LGBTQ+ experience as well.

Last Twilight's ideas about seeing and being seen correctly were also touched on (somewhat briefly) in Bad Buddy, in the discourse around Ink's camera, photography and Pat/Pa's contact lenses.

Mhok's journey was milestoned with numerous examples of the food = love trope, in which he could be seen giving of himself through the creation of dishes and meals for others.

(above) Last Twilight Ep.11 [2/4] 0.39 – Mhok's gift of Black Chicken Soup (ซุปไก่ดำมา) to Porjai is but one of many examples in the series of him showing his love to others through his cooking; in this instance Black Chicken Soup (made by double-boiling silkie chicken with medicinal herbs) is a traditional Chinese preparation, warm and comforting, that is considered particularly nourishing for moms newly post-partum and is also popular in Thailand for the same reason

This is paralleled also by Mhon and her career as a chef (especially when she ladled soup out for her ex-husband in Ep.12, which is a bittersweet Noppharnach touch with reams of cultural backstory – but that's fodder for another post though).

And Assistant Director Au Kornprom's cameo as chef-de-cuisine in Singha's hotel continues a meta-level portrayal of his role in BL as some sort of leader, instructor, teacher or creator with a select group as the intended beneficiaries of his work (see these links here and here for other examples).

(above) Assistant Director Au Kornprom Niyomsil pops up in a cameo as Chef Tom in Last Twilight Ep.11 [2/4] 9.47

I think Director Aof is announcing that Khun Kornprom is his designated successor as the next generation BL director at GMMTV who will (perhaps) be carrying on a measure of queer activism within his own output.

And that brings me to what I think Last Twilight might be saying on a metatextual level.

What I'm going to be babbling on about here reaches not only into Last Twilight for some clues as to its comments about the wider BL industry, but also to some messaging in Khun Noppharnach's earlier (though still recent) work, because I think it all does come together to paint a picture of some significance.

In the names and chromatic metaphors of Moonlight Chicken (see this link here), Director Aof signaled that unseen persons in authority were increasingly making their political presence felt, especially where financial motivations were concerned (caveat: I think this is a reference to power play within GMMTV and perhaps the BL industry itself, not a comment on the wider political scene in Thailand).

And Director Aof's various cameos in MLC (written up here) as well as its themes of generational renewal and the struggles to leave the past behind, also seemed to be messaging that some of this conflict between artistic/activist directions and commercial considerations were possibly taking a personal toll even as he continued his career within the BL industry.

I would have left it at that, but then when the Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars episodes had their turn on our screens in 2023, it became clear that Director Aof was saying something quite forcefully about the telling of queer stories in the media, especially in situations when queer people have less control over the narrative (as is the case with Y-series churned out by commercial studios for mass market consumption; see this write-up here for the analysis).

So based on the above together, this is my read of the situation.

Khun Noppharnach has been signaling that because of the profit motive, queer creators in the BL world are under increasing pressure from higher up to return to more commercially-lucrative storytelling, perhaps in the form of more stereotypical romances the way Last Twilight was structured. (Whether this pressure is from within the producing organization or from the wider political sphere I do not know nor wish to speculate.)

As a consequence, QL shows are being made to veer away from recounting stories that are authentic to the LGBTQ+ experience (which was the warning embedded in Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars), dialing back content that speaks with a queer voice to queer people (though of course non-queers are welcome to watch along, because after all a good story is a good story).

If the above is true, then the tidal pull of commercial goals may soon be dragging more output back toward the more romanticized imaginings of same-sex love seen before in formulaic (but arguably more profitable) BLs of old, with an emphasis on catering to mass market demand (largely represented by – whether rightly or wrongly – marketing perceptions of the cishet female teen gaze).

And all of this circles back to Last Twilight, which is an example of this return to the past, and perhaps explains in part why its ending feels so unsatisfactory for a lot of us.

I'm very much convinced at this point that the finale (with its hated timeskip, Mhok's spiffed-up but stagey return, his emotionally hollow reconciliation with Day, and especially all the schmaltzy vignettes post-couplehood part deux) is but a conscious reaction to political gameplay from echelons above. For Last Twilight, I'm sensing (guessing?) that Director Aof and his team were coerced not just to stay faithful to the traditional formula of BLs past, but also to shove in an unmitigated Happily Ever After for the branded pair of JimmySea, without any of the hallmark Noppharnach countercurrents to undercut the sweetness (or else).

And perhaps in a burst of inspired-slash-malicious compliance, the team took on the mandate for the HEA and ran with it, churning out a saccharine, nutritionally-deficient lump of candy and unceremoniously tacking it on as the ending of what had otherwise been a fairly measured and self-aware BL from the start. And it really sticks out – but I think it was meant to.

I may be misreading the tea leaves again, but to me the signs of the above are myriad. Here's some of what I think Director Aof is telling us about Last Twilight's subversion of the ending, embedded within the narrative and visuals:

Master Aon's name is signaling (to me at least) a parallel with Director Aof's name (Aon/Aof, On/Off, Onscreen/Offscreen, get it? 😆). He even has a similar look, with his wispy mustache, earring and floppy hair.

Noting that Aon was a respected, good-natured guru who'd already trodden happily the path that Day was on, this reads like a rendering of Director Aof's own role (that I'm tempted to say is self-defined, though it's my own reading really) as a queer elder imparting the wisdom of his own experience to younger queer people viewing his work. (Also, both Aon and Aof are gurus of BL who've had their vision stolen from them.) And if Kruu Aon was recommending acolyte Day to read the novel Last Twilight for the metaphorical lessons within (we were reminded of this many times: see Ep.3 [2/4] 9.08, Ep.8 [4/4] 1.07 and Ep.9 [4/4] 9.26), I think Kruu Aof is recommending that we look at the series Last Twilight more closely as well to learn of something similar.

Last Twilight the series is full of references to endings. And if the novel Last Twilight has been signaled as the roadmap to Director Aof's thinking behind the series, the missing last page and epilogue in Day's copy suggests that – just like the book version – Last Twilight the series is actually (and deliberately) open-ended.

But the messaging doesn't just stop there. We are also called upon to manifest the ending we want (if what we're presented with doesn't meet our expectations). For example, Mhok hated the ending of Last Twilight the novel (although Day liked it –see Ep.9 [4/4] 13.23). And he then conflated this with his disappointment at the lackluster twilight on Mount Veha as well.

But through the power of imagination Day helped Mhok see the beauty of the sunset there (Ep.9 [4/4] 16.28) – on one level it's a trite "Life is what you make it" sort of statement, but on another it also reads like a call to action ("You can change what you don't like"). And I like to think it also embodies Last Twilight's theme of recalibrating your own way of seeing things, and looking beyond surface visuals to find the truth that speaks to you (which, in a sense, is what I'm doing now, hah!). But when applied to Last Twilight at a meta level – I think we're also being reminded that a picture-perfect ending (such as Last Twilight's Ep.12 [4/4]) can also hide the reality of gloomy clouds behind the artifice overlaid by human intervention.

Another sign that the ending of Last Twilight deserves a closer look is all the flapping about between innkeeper Cherry, Mhok and Day around the missing last page of Day's book in the Ep.9 [4/4] scene starting at timestamp 2.38.

(above) Last Twilight Ep.9 [4/4] 3.11 – Cherry tears out the last page of her copy of the novel and forces it on Mhok and Day

I'm putting in a detour for a closer look at Cherry here. She was the unsentimental custodian of her father's guesthouse, with a personality that blew hot and cold (like the weather in the south, referenced at Ep.9 [4/4] 2.12). The guesthouse seemed comfortable enough, although Mhok found it less than welcoming (Ep.9 [3‌/4] 6.39). And Cherry herself was also a strange mix of brusque and friendly. She was more concerned about cash than MhokDay's lack of shelter at Ep.9 [3‌/4] 7.36, but warmed up to them later when they explained their Mount Veha quest (allowing them to stay, treating them to a musical evening with her guitar, and accepting the payment deferral). She preferred the old way of doing things (cash only, no online transfers) and had once hosted David, the author of Last Twilight the novel, at the guesthouse.

Based on the above, I'm thinking that Cherry is a representation of Director Aof's dual role at GMMTV, where he is both a creative (director and sometime screenwriter) as well as part of management (senior director of content production, at time of writing). And in Last Twilight we see this duality acknowledged both in Cherry's mercurial double nature, as well as in the capricious weather of Songkhla. The guesthouse, on the other hand, is a representation of GMMTV itself. On the management side, Director Aof has to make and/or implement decisions on behalf of the company even though it isn't really his (just as Cherry runs what was once her dad's). GMMTV is warm and hospitable enough to the performers in its stable, but as a commercial enterprise it has to prioritize financials above most (if not all) other considerations (symbolized by the guesthouse's paradoxically comfy yet unwelcoming air, and also Cherry's indifference to MhokDay's cashless plight). Director Aof's creative focus is the arts (represented by Cherry's musical interlude) but GMMTV itself prefers the old ways of making money, i.e., old-style BLs (and this is symbolized by the guesthouse unwilling or unable to explore new ways of collecting rent with no online transfers). And just as the guesthouse hosted David, whose bittersweet ending to Last Twilight the novel wasn't satisfying to salt-of-the-earth Mhok (standing in for the tastes of the mass market), GMMTV also hosts under its roof Director Aof, the auteur behind Last Twilight the series (whose original ending I suspect may not have pleased other GMMTV bigwigs in management, and who then enforced a change). Some of this is illustrated in part by the scene just before Mhok and Day departed from the guesthouse. When Mhok and Day asked Cherry to keep her autographed copy of the novel, she instead tore out the (signed) ending from her book and thrust it into their hands. And when Day asked if it had a happy ending – she jokingly tried to grab it back, saying "Find the ending yourselves." To me this is a metaphor that the original ending of Last Twilight the series is actually unknown to us, and the ending we got was forced into the narrative from the outside (because it's what the fans want, according to GMMTV speaking in Cherry's voice at Ep.9 [4/4] 3.15 – "I think it's more important to you than me"). And it has official sanction too (symbolized by the author's signature), indicating that Director Aof (David in another incarnation) may not have had a choice (since we're shown that the author's stamp of approval was artificially inserted into a different book instead). It also suggests (in the "Find the ending yourselves") that Director Aof was aware of how that artificial transplantation was going to be negatively received by some diehard Noppharnach fans, and he's saying to us – "Take the ending that's been given you", but at the same time "Find your own meaning in it".

And then Day tells us in no uncertain terms basically the same message, at Ep.12 [4/4] 3.37 ("We were made to discover our own preferred version of the novel’s finale").

The narrative actually tells us quite boldly in the first part of Episode 12 that we can expect the finale to start unraveling because of outside interference – I actually think this is the message behind Director Aof's cameo at Ep.12 [1‌/4] 10.01:

Mocked up as a hotel porter, Director Aof offered a guiding hand to Day – but at timestamp 10.06 Mhok suddenly inserted himself into the scene in an act of direct supplantation:

(above) Last Twilight Ep.12 [1‌/4] 10.06 – Mhok steps in and supplants hotel porter Aof (he of the white gloves)

To me this was unambiguously signaling that from this point onward the proceedings would no longer be under the guiding hand of Khun Noppharnach. In addition, hotel porter Aof's gloved hands were pure white, unbesmirched and free from stain, conveying the message that Director Aof was innocent and blameless of the plot shenanigans that were to follow. To underscore the point, we were then shown Day taking a misstep under new (non-Aof) guidance at Ep.12 [1‌/4] 11.20:

(above) Last Twilight Ep.12 [1‌/4] 11.20 – Day stumbles without hotel porter Aof's guidance, even as Last Twilight the series begins to falter

This was jarringly out of tone, given Day's confidence in his life as a blind person, as well as Mhok's previous – and very conscientious – stint as caregiver to Day the first time around (he would instinctively stand between Day and any physical risk, and place a protective hand over protrusions that Day might bump his head on, for example). The message from this visually dissonant moment is that we should expect the ending to stumble as well, without Khun Noppharnach guiding the process.

So what can we make of the ending with this in mind? I can live with the timeskip, Mhok's return, and the eventual reunion of our main pair. These are all somewhat expected beats in a standard romance drama – and if that's what Last Twilight is setting itself up as, I won't begrudge it the tropey hallmarks that some do love (though I do think some parts could have been handled better). I even liked the airport run for all of its brash, silly sentimentality (yes, Love Actually is one of my favorite films).

But where I think Last Twilight really falls off a Veha cliff is when it starts lobbing at us a plethora of candy-sweet dreams unrealistically brought to life, one after another, in Ep.12 [4/4]. We have:

Ep.12 [4/4] 0.51 – Surprise! Day can see;

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Ep.12 [4/4] 1.18 – Multiple scenes showing Day rejoining the world of the sighted, enjoying activities that were once denied to him (like reading and badminton) both alone and in the company of loved ones;

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Ep.12 [4/4] 4.01 – Family time! Mhok introduces Day as his partner to his deceased family at their memorial niches, and then we see Mhok very much integrated into Day's family (signified by his pasta dish receiving chef Mhon's stamp of approval) even as we see Night and Porjai joyfully announcing another imminent addition to the numbers;

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Ep.12 [4/4] 8.06 – Mhok and Day get a Mount Veha do-over, talk about the novel's ending and then act out the ending to their own love story.

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It's all just too, too fairytale, with happy news piled atop happy news, and just reeks of artificial sap and fakery.

But that's just it – I think that Director Aof and team were actually faking it. Remembering that the novel Last Twilight's full title is Last Twilight: Until the Last Light Goes Out, take a look at how each of the above little snippets of happiness is finished off – each draws to a close with its own Fade-to-Black.

Now the Fade-to-Black is a device borrowed from theater – in a stage play snuffing the lights for a few minutes of total darkness allows scenes to acquire a sense of separation, completion and closure while giving the crew time to change the sets. But here in Last Twilight it feels like we're being pitched happy ending after unrelated happy ending, each competing with the previous in the too-good-to-be-true stakes.

In the title of the novel, we're told to hold on until the last light goes out. Just when is that last light exactly though? There are so many here that each Fade-to-Black begins to feel not just like closure, but like a little death each time. (Also pertinent to note: MhokDay's kiss under that glorious sunset at Ep.12 [4/4] 13.26 gets replaced by a sky of gray clouds instead at Ep.12 [4/4] 13.37.)

Director Aof is really hammering home his point that traditional Happily Ever Afters in romance stories can be shallow and unsatisfactory, and is making us miss the trademark melancholy that propped up the wistful sentimentality in the closing scenes of his previous works.

However, much of the above is what Last Twilight is saying about Last Twilight.

At the metatextual level, what the show is communicating about BLs as a whole is even more somber. I think Director Aof is messaging that for the BL industry to head toward a happy, satisfying ending (if it really is being pushed down to lowest common denominator levels by commercial interests), it's up to us the viewers to manifest that and make it happen (just as Mee/Me and Day did for their own stories). How this might be done, I do not know. Lobbying GMMTV perhaps? Complaining ever more loudly about what this did to Last Twilight when it could have been so much more?

I rather suspect that unfortunately our numbers may not be sufficient to bring about change – the majority of Last Twilight fans actually seemed to like the final wrap-up and its fairytale ending (at least based on the reviews I've seen on MyDramaList). It's only among the more adult (and dare I say it – discerning?) viewership here in the BL sphere on Tumblr are we seeing more robust critiques of the series, mourning the greatness that could have been.

Last Twilight was a good BL all the way up to Ep.12 I think. And then it looks like we were purposely let down, to make a point about BL endings. As always, Director Aof is having the last laugh – and he lets us know this during the end credits.

For it's then that we see the various photographs that were taken by characters throughout the series but never shown to us before (it's strangely moving, and makes me think of the ending to Cinema Paradiso when Salvatore finally gets to view the priest's cut in one long montage as a final gift from Alfredo beyond the grave).

(above) The end credits of Last Twilight, replaying the scenes where the characters were photographed, alongside the images captured in the moment that hitherto were not shown to us

It's in the ending that we're finally getting to see the director's point of view (and hidden message) from his vantage point behind the camera, just as we're only getting to see those photographs (that were originally unseen by their subjects, and privy only to the one taking the photograph) right at the very end.

And the final shot? We get the whole cast and crew making the "span" gesture (that an almost-sightless Day used to approximate the distance at which he could still make things out visually, before his vision left him totally).

It's a loving salute to Last Twilight for sure, but can we perhaps detect a hint of mockery in the way it also resembles the Forehead-L for Loser gesture from the 1990s? Or a hint of a threat in the way it looks like a gun cocked and pointing? The gesture is also Thai sign language for the letter ล, which is somewhat the equivalent of the letter 'L'. And with so many 'L's or 'ล's in that shot, it's making me think of 'LOLOLOL' and also ลล standing in for ล้อเล่น/laaw len, which means Just kidding.

Is it all just a coincidence? I wouldn't put it past Aof for it not to be. But whatever it all means, I really do think he's having a hearty (if somewhat bitter) last laugh. 😔💖

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#last twilight #mhokday #aof noppharnach chaiyahwimhon #reading the signs #of seeing and being seen #this is a bit of a clown post 🤡#a whole lot of speculation #and maybe some retconning #but also food for thought #finding my own version of the ending

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gremoria411 · 19 days

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Mobile Suit Generations in the Universal Century

Alright, another lineage post, kinda (I will finish that 00 one eventually).

Now in my post about how the Zaku series changed over time, I mentioned briefly that I don’t really see the Universal Century Gundam series as being much of a lineage, primarily because it’s an absolute mess. However, I do want to do a post talking about the Gundam “line” in some more detail at some point. So I thought I’d make this post beforehand as a sort of preliminary excercise. Because it’s rather difficult to talk about Gundams in universal century without talking about Mobile Suit Generations themselves.

So, What are Mobile Suit Generations?

In brief; as mobile suit technology in Universal Century developed, there were a number of concepts that would revolutionise the entire field, and lead to mobile suit design being completely different as time went on. New technologies, new theories, new design ethos, that sort of thing. And because Gundam units were so often cutting-edge, these new ideas would typically be applied to them. A new generation represents a massive leap forward for the technology, meaning that development occurred very quickly. I’ve thrown around the terms before, typically when talking about fourth-generation mobile suits, but I figured I’d do a post outlining the different mobile suit generations, what their characteristics are, give some examples and talk about any noteworthy oddities.

Disclaimer: as it ever is with UC, there’s a lot that doesn’t divide cleanly here. Some mobile suits are easier to categorise than others, and there can be a lot of overlap between the generations, so I’ll be looking more at broad trends than categorising everything. I’m also gonna skip over a lot of detail here in the name of this post actually being of reasonable length.

First Generation Mobile Suits

Named retroactively and also the easiest to categorise. First-Generation mobile suits encompasses every mobile suit built prior to the Gryps War - Zaku’s, GM’s, RX-78’s, Pale Riders, the Gundam Development Project - all First-Gen mobile suits. First-Gen’s a broad category because it’s every suit on both sides of the OYW, and because mobile suits were still a very new technology there was an absolute range on design ethos and styles. First-Generation mobile suits really only share a timeframe of manufacture, there isn’t really much else to tie them together.

Second Generation Mobile Suits

The only (technically) Mobile Suit Generation to straight-up replace its predecessor and also one of only two generations to incorporate actual definitions (at least as far as I can tell). While the later generations tended to focus on one aspect of mobile suits, Second-Generation mobile suits were an all-around improvement over the second generation. They were characterised by three main features:

The movable frame - rather than just providing structure as was the case previous, the movable frame incorporates all the critical components required to actually move the unit, with the weapons armour and propellant tanks being externalised. This allows for easier maintenance, greater mobility and improved energy efficiency.

360-degree panoramic cockpit and linear seat - technically two improvements, but a “better cockpit” in a nutshell. The 360-degree panoramic cockpit allowed for a much greater field of view for the pilot, especially when compared to the old, cramped cockpits of the OYW, while the linear seat helped reduce the effect of g-forces on the pilot (and also made it easier to eject in the case of being shot down).

Gundarium y alloy - one of several refined versions of the original Gundarium used in the RX-78 series, Gundarium y was lightweight and durable, making it the armour of choice for second-generation mobile suits, allowing them to shrug off blows that would be lethal to earlier models, while remaining manoeuvrable enough that they could dodge such blows.

The most famous Second-Generation mobile suits would be the Gundam Mk-II and the Rick Dias, despite the fact that they each lacked one feature from the above list (the Mk-II had the older titanium alloy ceramic composite armour, whereas the Rick Dias lacked a movable frame). As previously mentioned, Second-generation mobile suits became the benchmark going forwards, and this wasn’t changed until the advent of miniaturised mobile suits in the U.C. 110’s. The Jegan, which would be the mainline mobile suit for the federation for over sixty years, was a Second-Generation mobile suit, typically likened to a mass-produced Gundam Mk-II.

Which brings us to our first oddity I want to talk about - the Dowas Custom. The original Dowas was the final production unit of the Zeon’s Dom line during the One Year War. The precise shakedown of their use and deployment is unclear - the Dowas is derived from the Rick Dom II, which was part of the latewar United Maintenance Plan, but there are reports of Dowas Desert types conducting operations in the wake of the Battle of Odessa - they could be early prototypes, or the Desert units came first and were later refined into the regular Dowas, or the Pezun Dowadge doesn’t count because it wasn’t a production unit…….

Anyway, at least one Dowas unit was brought to Axis by Zeon remnants fleeing A Baoa Qu, where it would be refined and upgraded with Axis’ latest technologies, and then supplied to the nascaent AEUG. That unit was the MS-09SS Dowas Custom, seen in Anaheim Laboratory Log. I won’t spoil the precise details of the hand-off, but you can probably guess from the colour scheme that it involves a certain individual who’s never heard of this Char Aznable fella, dear me no.

But the reason I’m talking about the Dowas Custom here is that it would be reverse-engineered in order to create the Rick Dias, one of the first Second-Generation Mobile suits. But where does that leave the Dowas Custom? Is it First-Gen, or Second-Gen? Well, it’s got Gundarium Alloy Armour (presumably y, since it’s the best one), however we know it doesn’t have a movable frame - neither the original Dom, nor its successor the Rick Dias incorporate one, so it’s very unlikely it has one. So then we come to the cockpit, and I’ve genuinely no idea what kind it employs. So I tend to consider it as an in-between, generation wise.

Third-Generation Mobile Suits

Transformable mobile suits, in a nutshell. Transformable mobile suits were considered an huge advantage during the gryps war, as they allowed for faster deployment, increased scouting range and, in many cases, were able to be transferred from Earth to space more easily than standard mobile suits. The latter half of the Gryps War and early stages of the First Neo Zeon War (Zeta Gundam to ZZ Gundam), are typically considered the golden age of Transformable mobile suits, with such luminaries such as the Zeta Gundam, Bawoo, Messala and Gabthley. Due to the aforementioned advantages, Third-Gen suits continued to develop after this period, giving rise to the Rezel and Delta Plus seen during Unicorn.

Interestingly, what is technically the first Third-Generation mobile suit, the Delta Gundam, was laid down during the early stages of the Gryps War but never built, simply because Anaheim couldn’t figure out how to make the frame work until Kamille Bidan managed to fix the problems with the Zeta, at which point Anaheim was so busy with other projects (like the Zeta Project) that they didn’t have time to review the Delta Gundam until after the war.

However, it is nice to have at least one generation with the relatively simple description of “if it transforms, it’s probably a third-generation suit”

Right?

If it wasn’t for this fucking thing.

Cards on the table, I really like the Gundam Mk-V. It’s nice. But, maddeningly, it’s also one of the only suits that we have an actual, in-universe definition for which mobile suit generation it falls into - “A third-generation mobile suit with the firepower of a fourth”. So it’s a third-generation mobile suit that doesn’t transform. What. Also, It’s the only thing that’s like this - The Gaza-C is a third-gen, because it can transform - The Jegan is a second-gen, because it doesn’t fit into third or fourth-gen categories. Why is a non-transforming suit a third-gen? Very annoying. Based on this, I’m led to conclude that what qualifies a suit as a member of the Third-Generation *has* to be something to do with frame structure, not necessarily transformation, given that the Mark-V doesn’t transform (Or it’s an error on the part of whoever wrote the description).

Fourth Generation Mobile Suits

Speaking of, I should really define fourth generation mobile suits, shouldn’t I? In one word: firepower. Fourth-Generation mobile suits were a product of greatly improved generator output, plus several noteworthy developments in Newtype tech. Any Newtype-specialist mobile suit after the gryps war is most likely part of the Fourth-Generation. The best-known fourth-generation mobile suits would be the ZZ Gundam, S Gundam and Döven Wolf. Axis was a major leader in Fourth-Gen tech, with such units as the Hamma-Hamma and, of course, the Qubeley. Several of these mobile suits were also combiners, such as the aforementioned Gundam’s, though this was later dropped as it led to compatibility and maintenance issues. Fourth-Generation mobile suits were also comparatively rare compared to those of earlier generations - likely due to the rarity of the newtypes that were typically their favoured pilots. The Döven Wolf has the distinction of being one of the few mass-produced Fourth-Generation mobile suits, likely because Axis had the resources to devote to it. Fourth-Generation mobile suits are also unique in that we (arguably) see an upper limit to the technology - the Gundam Unicorn, which is pretty goddamn scary.

Fifth-Generation Mobile Suits

A very easy one here, a) there’s only two mobile suits classed as fifth-generation at present - the Xi Gundam and the Penelope; and b) it’s got a nice, simple definition - fifth-generation mobile suits are equipped with a Minovsky craft system, allowing for unrestricted flight within the atmosphere.

The Minovsky Craft system is essentially how Gundam deals with all those horribly un-aerodynamic flying mobile armours - they incorporate minovsky craft systems, allowing for flight within the atmosphere (like the Psycho Gundam and the Adzam). The Xi Gundam and Penelope however, are actually light and aerodynamic, meaning that they can function more as mobile interceptors as opposed to flying city blocks. Honestly, I don’t have much more to say on this one.

Miniaturised Mobile Suits

Not really a generation per se, but I figured I’d cover my bases here. Miniaturised mobile suits were pioneered by SNRI, the Earth Federation’s in-house weapon development team, in around the UC 90’s to UC 100’s (such as the Loto and Heavygun). It eventually became standard practice after SNRI development data was stolen in UC 116, allowing other manufacturers to develop miniaturised mobile suits.

The main distinctions between miniaturised mobile suits and their forebears is, well, they were smaller. The Gundam F90 stood at only 14.8 meters tall compared to the original RX-78’s 18 meter height. This was due to a miniaturisation of the thermonuclear reactor used in mobile suits, and the development on new armour materials that allowed the armour and mobile frame to be made lighter without compromising its structural strength. Miniaturised mobile suits also used less resources than traditional ones to construct, allowing militaries to get more bang-for-their-buck, as it were (though given the prevalence of large mobile armours in late UC, being able to spend those resources elsewhere may also have something to do with it).

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