#They're hilarious but really weird

[forestwhisper3]

Question for my DotS readers. Should I split “The Real World” into two chapters like it was split into two episodes, or should I cover everything in one big update? If I do the former, the chapter will be out soon (like, probably tonight or tomorrow), but if I do the latter, we can move on quicker. 

Just so you know, after I’m done with “The Real World,” what will follow is a non-canon related chapter (or two) that deals with the aftermath of these episodes as well as some more delightfully delectable deviation before we touch upon the content of the season three finale. There will be hurt, comfort, and some superhero cameos, oh my!

So...yeah? One big chapter, or two smaller ones? I’ll just roll with whatever you want me to do. :)

[noxumbra]

This image is old as hell (2021). It was made around the same time as my fake Jerma ad, but I never posted it for obvious reasons, lol.

This ad is based off of those weird romance Renta ads I used to see all the time.

I made a whole bunch of fake ads for a point-and-click Wix site game I made (which is now defunct). These showed up as you scrolled through a bunch of fake in-game websites.

[inloveanddepth]

love these guys

[ilovedthestars]

*puts on a different costume* trick or treat!!!

hello, mysterious new stranger! have a treat!

this was the original concept that i wrote down for this wip, which is creatively titled "gurathin"

[what if: that “i had nowhere else to go” trope, except mb is like “i’m turning to my worst enemy…” and gurathin is like “wtf i’m not your worst enemy get inside i’m calling an ambulance”]

i don't remember why i had that thought but it was funny and then i started writing it and it was still funny but also Dramatic. it's like, pretty close to complete, except i never figured out why Murderbot would have gotten stabbed on Preservation Station for reasons that didn't involve everyone on the station being VERY aware that it had happened, and obviously gurathin was gonna ask about that and i didn't have an answer. anyway. enjoy.

---

It’s late, and Gurathin has been sitting in this chair with a book open in his lap for a few hours now. He’s just thinking that it’s really probably time to go to sleep, as soon as he finishes the next few pages, when he’s interrupted by the gentle ping of a feed message reaching his augment. SecUnit: Can I come in He frowns, and glances towards the door to his apartment, although he’s in his bedroom and there are a few walls in the way. He knows SecUnit doesn’t need the rest period that most of the station is taking right now, but it usually spends this time in its own room, watching serials in its head or whatever else it does to keep busy. The fact that it’s out and about could mean nothing, but nonetheless, it’s…worrying. Gurathin: Are you outside? It’s the middle of the night. SecUnit: I know SecUnit: I don’t want to wake Mensah up SecUnit: But I kind of need help He drops his book onto the chair behind him without marking his place. Gurathin: I’m coming. When he pulls open the door to his apartment, SecUnit is outside, leaning against the corridor wall. Not casually—more like it needs the support if it’s going to stay on its feet. It has one hand bracing it upright and the other pressed to its side. There’s something on the side of its face that looks like blood. “Did you murder someone?” Gurathin says, and then sees the dark drops on the floor and the dark wet sheen on its hands and its shirt where it’s holding its side. “For the love of—What the fuck happened? Get inside.” It tries to push itself away from the wall, and sways. Gurathin grabs its elbow and steers it through his door. It collapses against the wall again as soon as it’s inside. There’s a glazed look in its eyes, and its mouth is pressed tightly shut. Gurathin shuts the door. “I can’t fucking believe—Why aren’t you in Medical?” Did it actually murder someone? He can’t imagine why it would come to him, unless it’s trying to hide. “Not that bad….” SecUnit mumbles. It’s dripping a terrifying quantity of blood on his floor. He is not buying its insistence that this is okay. “What’s your performance reliability?” Its lips twitch, and he wonders if it just suppressed an automatic canned response. “Fine,” it says. That is not a good sign. “What is it?” he insists. It hesitates. “Seventy…” It sees his face, and reluctantly corrects itself. “Sixty-eight.”

[rmbunnie]

I'm certain that i've seen it said before but I want to say it again because i just keep seeing it, there is SUCH a funny overlap in the way Adventuretime and Homestuck portray expressions. Bodies and limbs too, they both have the same noodle-limb-tube-body-sphere-head formula and I'm sure that's part of the reason behind it but both of them consistently produce faces that just SEND me in a very specific way

[variousqueerthings]

Hawkeye ending his No-Jokes-Allowed time literally Just Past Midnight and projecting them across the whole camp via loudspeaker and BJ reacting like this:

Not for Hawkeye’s benefit (as he can’t see him), just unfiltered fondness for his favourite funny-man

[cowboyabunga]

megstiel is a great ship you guys just hate women :(

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

Got so excited about what was in vault 47 I forgot I was listening to a radio play about fallout 4

[jimkirkachu]

32 years old and just had my first experience with a literal bat flying around the house 😬😳🦇

[ballroomnotoriety]

Hey I looked at vencabots schedule and I don’t see the movie nights, is if not in the schedule or is he not doin it anymore?

the Pizza and a Movie streams (he does eat a pizza) are part of the Friday rotation, which is pretty random. the schedule is announced on mondays, so if you check then you can see if there's a movie coming up. i asked on twitter and he said there should be one before the end of november, prob a john wayne. october is special because there's a triple feature every friday, and there's an annual P&M festival in March where they run their favorites of all the ones they've watched so far.

past streams are uploaded to a playlist here!

[fauxfroot]

been listening to my akusai playlist again the last few days and making myself emotional about those two dipshits. axel really responded to his decade long divorce by cheating on saix with roxas. fucking incredible choice on his part

[skullisbones]

just finished bdubs 12 hour limited life.

[loserdiaz]

r/relationship_advice

u/hot_pilot84 • 2d ago

MY (40M) BOYFRIEND? (33M) IS IN LOVE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND (36M) AND IM THE THIRD WHEEL

I'm new to this reddit stuff, but a coworker suggested it, and I thought I'd give it a try. I probably should start saying he's not really my boyfriend??? We just started dating a few weeks ago, and it's been... interesting. But I really like him and he is a nice, sweet guy.

He recently came out, so I've been trying to be patient and understanding. But recently it's been hard to spend any time alone because his best friend is always there.

Now, I also like the guy, so I don't really mind, and to be honest, I kinda suspected from the first moment they were in love with each other. They both talk about each other all the time, and when we hang out together, I can't help but feel like intruding on an intimate moment I shouldn't be part of.

Like, our second date was at his sister's wedding and the best friend spent most of the time glued to our side. He has a son who my date adores, so they danced together for most of the party as well. It was cute, but again: it felt like intruding on a private moment.

Then we had a relaxing night at his place, eating take out on his couch and watching a movie.... when the best friend just, came in. No notice, no knocking. He has a key to the place and he just walked in. It was awkward at first but we insisted it wasn't a big deal so he stayed for tge rest of the night.

By the time I was leaving, my date was telling him to just get comfortable on the couch.

Another thing is. My date? Situationship? I don't know how to call it anymore. Well, I recently found out that he is the legal guardian of his best friend 's kid? In case anything happens? I wouldn’t find this weird at all if it wasn't for the fact this man has parents and sisters and other close family members that also have a less chance of dying along with him on the job. (They work together.)

Also. Recently, the best friend broke up with his girlfiend and called this guy in the middle of our date. So, he crashed again.

All of this to say, I'm not really hurt? This was new and sure, I like the guy. But to be honest my expectations were low. This is fairly recent, so it's not like my heart is broken and I just lost the love of my life. No, that's not the problem.

I just don't think these two know they're in love with each other, and it’s starting to get really uncomfortable for me. Should I say something? Should I talk with my date about it or just break things off and keep it vague, but that we should still be friends? Should I talk with both of them at the same time and confront the situation?

This is a situation I don't even know how to begin to get a handle on. Does anyone know where I should start?

rctherpcliarredditor • commented 1d ago

to be honest, i don't really have any advice for you. i just find this gay drama really hilarious. thoughts and prayers for you, my man 🙏🏼🙏🏼

twohottakes • commented 6hrs ago

definitely have a conversation alone with your date. point all of this out to him and tell him you don't wanna get in the middle if there's deeper feelings involved for someone else. all the luck to you, man!

storyreddit23 • commented 2hrs ago

talk to ur date!! and pls, post an update if u do. i wanna know how this ends.

[qcomicsy]

If batkids had a podcast XVI

Red hood: Just us today?

Nightwing: Just us today.

Red hood (laughing) I wonder why–

Nighwing: Dude– (laughing as well)

Red hood: I–

Nightwing: Dude don't do it–

(just both of them chuckling)

Red Hood (close to the mic): They're grounded.

Nightwing: (CACKLES)

Nightwing (crying): This is not funny

Red Hood: This is hilarious.

Red Hood: Were last survivors of our kind. . .

Red Hood: Adults.

Nightwing: Adults.

Red Hood: He can't ground us anymore.

Nighwing, chuckling: He can't ground us anymore

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Fuck.

Nightwing:

Red Hood: We're b– (pause) We're both the oldest now.

Nightwing: Yeah– You, me and–

Red Hood, at the same time: Yeah– (pause) This is so surreal

Nightwing: You think?

Red Hood: Yeah. Dude – I was. . . I was the youngest.

Nightwing: Oh your sweet summer– I was a only child.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Nightwing: It really isn't that weird to me.

Red Hood: Really?

Nightwing: Yeah– I was always the oldest man.

Nightwing: I was the oldest of my team

Red Hood: What?!

Nightwing: Yeah!

Red Hood: You're fucking with me.

Nightwing: Nah man– I was the oldest. I am the oldest, I'm not dead.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're older than Arsenal?

Nightwing: I'm older than everybody man.

Nightwing: People look at me and assign me to take care of children.

Red Hood (imitating Damian voice): "Father genes"

Nightwing: HA– "father genes" (pause) Why are you looking at me like that?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're ancient.

Nightwing: IM NOT ANCIENT.

Red Hood: You're older than the Teen Titans, fucking older than Young Justice.

Nightwing: You're older than Young Justice

Red Hood: I was dead man it doesn't count.

Nightwing: Of course it does– How old are you?

Red Hood: How old are you?

Nightwing:

Nighwing: I– I am an adult.

Red Hood: Uh-huh.

Nightwing: In a reasonable age.

Red Hood: You're in your thirties aren't you?

Nightwing: NO

Nightwing:

Red Hood: You look like you're in your thirties– The bag under your eyes

Nightwing: Because I'm tired????

Red Hood: The hunched posture.

Nightwing: Hey I do not have hunched posture– Fuck you.

Nightwing: You try to take care of an entire team of teenagers just to end up taking care of more two and a grown ass depressed middle aged man.

Red Hood: That was Red–

Nightwing: That was Red. (pause) I would have fucking killed him.

Red Hood: Oh Definitely.

Nightwing: Point still stand man I'm tired.

Red Hood: Both of us.

Nightwing: Both of us– (chuckles) Robins if you're hearing this I love both of you and I would do it all over again. Titans– (closer to the mic) You know what you did.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Red Hood (closer to his mic): You know your sins.

Nightwing (laughing): Flash owe me 30 dollars.

Prev Post / Next Post

[obae-me]

Human Things that Confuse the Non-Humans

I've seen a lot of headcanons on my feed recently that are all about demonic traits and things that seem to scare or facinate MC, but what about the opposite? So I was wondering what sort of typical human things might either unsettle the non-humans, confuse them, or enchant them in some way.

Most of these are based off of personal heasdcanons I already have, so it's very self indulgent.

If ya'll have any other ideas, feel free to share, I'd love to hear them.

Also not proof read cuz I'm writing this at like 5 am due to sleep issues.

------

Circadian Rythem. I've always wanted to bring up how I headcanon that the Devildom doesn't even follow a 24 hour schedule, since the 24 hour thing is entirely based around the sun, and since they don't have a sun, it makes sense that days would follow some other set rule (I always think that Devildom days are much much longer, hence why MC is caught so many times in canon just taking naps wherever even when Belphie is not around), but that's a headcanon for another time. Anyways, I think the fact that Humans almost need to follow a certain sleeping schedule would totally confuse the demons. Demons only really sleep to stay at their strongest, it's not as vital to them. And the fact that humans can die if they don't get the proper sleep? Totally freaks them out. If MC ever pulls an all-nighter, they all think they're one foot in the grave. Having Solomon and MC getting naturally sleepy more often than the non-humans do might seem pretty adorable at times though.

The fact that human hair does indeed shed. I don't personally think demon or angelic hair would, I feel like hair is something they can change at will within reason (There is a chat with Mammon about him getting his haircut, but he said he was going to change it, so I like to think he made it grow back instantly and cut it like normal again). So I like to think that MC or Solomon leaving strands of hair behind is shocking, because the non-humans only ever associated that trait with animals, but they also find it weirdly cute in a way. The demons and angels do try to ask to comb or brush Solomon's and/or MC's hair from time to time. They feel like they're helping.

Being able to roll (curl? Fold?) your tongue. I think it would be hilarious if despite the millions of other things demons and angels can do, none of them can roll their tongues. And then they get confused too when they discover that not every human can do it either, just certain ones. Solomon can do it and treats it like a party trick.

Allergies. I don't know if it's said in Canon anywhere that demons and angels can have allergies...I hope not because (as much as it sucks) it would make sense for it to just be a human thing. Just the concept entirely would have the non-human's heads spin. What do you mean certain things can just have your body essentially attack itself? And it's different for every human? It can be quite literally anything? (The non-humans would absolutely have a heart attack if they knew about mine)

Human mimicry. I think we as humans just have a natural instinct to mimic or repeat certain things. It's a lot more noticeable with internet culture and memes and references and things, but I think a very human thing to do is repeat or mock things we come into contact with. For example, if we hear an animal noise, we try to repeat it like we're talking to it. If we see something in a weird position, we might try to pose like it, etc. We try to relate to things, which is why personification is so prominent in everything we do. (Like how some of us tell wobbily objects to stay or loud machines to shut up) The non-humans think this is very cute. They don't really do that. The closest thing they might relate to is a current trend, but those pass by rather quickly. Mammon probably thinks we're almost like a bunch of crows.

Emotional control/suppression. Hear me out. It's well known in canon that the brothers blow up easily. They'll fight someone over miniscule things. Even Lucifer, who says he prides himself on his control, loses his temper quite often. And Mammon, while seemingly the best at controlling anger, is very open about all his other emotions. The only two demons that clearly have the best control overall are Barbatos and Diavolo who are the two most powerful demons in the Devildom. It probably takes so much energy and power to keep themselves in check. We hardly ever see that dark aura around them if at all in the game, which seems to give the two this unspoken common respect. As for angels, it was already mentioned once that the angels do have magical methods forcibly controlling emotions, and despite that, I'm sure it takes ages of training and practice to get to the level of "patient perfection" they're supposed to exhibit. Now, humans aren't perfect, and of course, there's a lot of nuance to this like mental illness I won't get into, but generally speaking, we quickly learn how to regulate our emotions or how to supress them for society's sake. At the very least, when we get angry we dont suddenly get surrounded by a dark shadow or shift into a different form. And I like to think this terrifies the non-humans to a degree. They don't know when humans are angry or upset until it's blatantly obvious. They already are off-put by Solomon because they never really know what he's up to. And what if it's not even because he's doing "weird" things, what if it's just because he seems to be so calm all the time and no one knows how to read him? None of them know how to read human body language. There's no aura to see, no puffed up wings, no glowing eyes, no whipping tails. Humans can just...stand there, sometimes with a blank expression, sometimes just staring. It can give even the stronger willed beings the creeps. Bonus points if MC is great at masking too. You mean humans can just...take extreme emotions and tuck them away for later? I'm sure that's an absolutely wild concept. Most of the non-humans are just not capable of that kind of control. Albeit its not always the healthiest option, but just the fact that humans have the willpower to just sometimes choose or force themselves not to feel at all is Barbatos level intimidating.

[foxstens]

please help i keep finding legendary spartan sandals